#im meant to be writing anything else but this

[willowrites]

𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞 ✦ 𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐡

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬. where sam was there to help y/n when she had a rough day and resorted to unwinding in a not-so-healthy way.

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭. okay so i was just thinking for a sam golbach fic reader relapses (self harm) cuz their mind has been getting too much lately, and maybe sam helps them clean up and then helps take care of them and makes them feel loved nd just like lets them know that they don't need to do that because he's there from now on?? if that makes sense. also maybe not an established romantic relationship but maybe it ends up that way? like sam tells reader he doesn't know what he'd do with himself if anything happened to them he just cares a lot about them and yeah

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. ANGST ! third person pov, talks of self harm, relapsing, descriptive literature, friend!sam, friends to lovers.

𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬. if anybody needs anyone to talk to i’m here! 🤍 sorry this took so long to post & write! this one hit really personal for me but id okay to say ive healed & im continuing to heal from my past. if anyone is going through similar hardships, you can get through it! i believe, love, & support you always.

y/n told herself she wouldn’t put herself in this position again. she wouldn’t.. but sometimes things don’t go as planned.

she had tried to stay strong, to stop letting her mind control every action she took; it just became too much. she sat on the cold tile floor of her bathroom, tears making their way down her flushed face. she gripped the item as she took the first swipe, lightly but firm enough.

just stop. she told herself. her hand shook as she went to repeat the action. she looked at her skin i just need to feel something, she thought. something other than what im feeling now.

she had been doing so good but somehow found herself back at square one. all that work that she had done was all gone. she felt hopeless, as if this never ending black hole of despair would stay with her for the rest of her life.

she took a minute to think on her life and what could have went wrong to cause her to relapse. all those thoughts had no specific effect on relapsing, its just her brain had begun to spin a web that caused her to get stuck in her head all day. what else can i do? she thought as she took another swipe at her skin. she planned on continuing until she heard her bedroom door open.

her heart dropped to her ass. “y/n..?” the voice had confusion laced in their voice.

sam.

it was sam.

the blonde boy was one of the things that y/n had in her life that truly made her happy. he was her best friend. she never told him that but she truly meant that with every fiber of her being.

y/n quickly wiped her tears when she heard the footsteps come closer to the bathroom. wiping the tears would make the tear stains disappear but the thing about breaking down, you’re left with that struggle of trying to catch your breath.

she couldn’t stop gasping, trying to breathe calm and collectively. that’s why as sam stopped right beside the bathroom. he heard a small gasp escape her lips that caught his attention.

his eyebrows raised in confusion. he put his head beside the door trying to hear something else. “uh.. y/n? you in there?” he knocked. he received no answer. multiple questions and thoughts ran through his mind before he opened the door.

sam had seen many things in his life, traumatic even, but this — it was like his heart had jumped, dropped, did a tumble, and self destructed all in the span of 3 seconds. he instantly became nauseous at the sight of y/n holding a blade to her forearm. the small cuts that had caught his eye before she covered her arm and hid the blade had his blood run cold.!

the second y/n had been caught she felt guilty and embarrassed. she felt pathetic, like she wasn’t strong enough to handle the hard reality of the real world. immediately, she stood up and faced sam. “i-im sorry you weren’t supposed to see that.. it’s not what it looks like.” she sniffled trying to contain her tears. “i… it just, lately everything has been so crazy and i haven’t … i haven’t done this in a while but… but everything has just been… too much.” she rambled out, trying to explain herself.

sam’s face of confusion faltered. he thought about her words. the way she mentioned in a while had him wondering what caused her to relapse and fall back into this situation. he scanned her face. she’s too pure to be suffering like this. he paused thinking of what to say but truly all that he wanted to do was give her a hug. so that’s what he did.

he pulled her in, wrapping his arms around her protectively. she melted into his touch. her lip quivered as she wrapped her own arms around him. her body shook as more tears cascaded down her face.

sam felt his own eyes sting with tears. “i’m sorry.” he choked up. “i’m sorry you’ve been going through all of this alone.” he rested his cheek on her head closing his eyes trying to stay strong for her.

y/n hasn’t said anything, still feeling guilty. sam pulled away and looked down at the floor seeing the blade and a tissue beside it. he picked them up and threw both away.

he turned back to y/n who had a tired look on her face. “as long as i’m here nothing will hurt you, okay? i will be here for you. you can depend on me. you don’t need to do this anymore to yourself y/n, i won’t let you.” he took her face into his hands. “i promise, i love you and im always here for you no matter what.”

y/n’s heart raced as sam’s words really effected her. she nodded pursing her lips and biting her cheek.

he brought her head to his mouth and pressed a light kiss on her forehead. “i mean it y/n. i don’t know what i’d do with myself without you. you complete me.”

y/n’s eyes scanned sam’s face noticing how his own eyes began to water and become puffy. the scene before her causing her throat to close. “m’sorry i promise i wont do it anymore. i love you sam and… fuck — i know i shouldn’t be doing that. i just didn’t know what else to do.” she leaned against his chest.

“i know, i know baby but from now on you can talk to me about it. about anything. i care so much about you. you truly have no idea how much i…” he stopped himself not wanting to overwhelm her. “just know you mean the world to me. you are and have been my priority since we met and that’s never going to change.” the reassuring words causing y/n to relax.

y/n started to get inside her head, wondering what if he got tired of her, if he’d leave her, what she’d do or how she’d feel if that happened — or even worse; if she would be a burden to sam.

sam noticed y/n zoning out. “hey, tell me what you’re thinking please.” his hands reached down to grab her own.

she took a deep breath. c’mon y/n. she blinked a couple times trying to sort her thoughts. “don’t wanna be a burden to you.” she admitted to which sam immediately shook his head.

sam brought her hands to his mouth kissing her knuckles. “you could never ever be a burden to me. you keep me pushing through every day because i want to be the best for you. to be the best friend you deserve and… and whatever the future may hold for us — i want you there always, okay? don’t ever forget that.”

his words wavered through the air and stood there so you could process what he truly meant. you thought on it, picking up some hidden message that you’d both communicate about later but as of now, he truly helped you feel understood and seen. as long as you had him you’d feel physically, mentally, and emotionally secure and protected.

© willowrites

[onedemoniclilly]

Inspired by prompts by corvase

(TW: mentions of Hiromi’s child abuse, canon-type injuries/violence (kinda) (no big deep details, it’s a ramble after all), Karma’s arc is also mentioned (cliff thingy) and although its not a big big spotlight on it ig its a trigger???)

They’re in high school but it's not like they (class 3E) never talk to each other - none of them would dare not to. Not after everything they went through together. But things are getting busy, university entrance exams are approaching and they’re throwing their everything into this cause the whole point of a second knife (and a third, a fourth, a fifth…) is not to use it - it’s to push forwards with your absolute best until you break every single barrier in your way and you succeed. It’s to keep going forwards, keep striving up what seems like an endless uphill path cause you are the only one who can keep his memory and life for him.

Some of them are dating, the obvious couples got together at the beginning - some splitting because although the initial spark was there, they quickly realised it was built on the painfully sharp memory of their sensei and not any substantial feelings. Kanzaki actually asked Sugino out first, but unlike Chiba and Hayami nothing tangible actually came out of it. There was definitely something between Isogai and Maehara but neither of them had officially announced it however others could speculate whatever closer relationship they had needed to be shoved between the cracks of time between work, school and family.

Nagisa and Karma… well the less said about those two the better. In the beginning, there was the whole mess with Nagisa and Kayano - as much as Kayano wanted Nagisa, no one could tell if he was too dense, not interested or busy mooning over Karma. And then there was another entire thing going on between Gakushuu and Karma. People swore up and down the walls that they were dating: “Nothing going between the two- pshh, I swear they were practically sitting on top of each other- I don’t care that they were having a go at each other you can’t deny that there’s something!” And there were always rumours going about over the friendly ‘chat’ the boys had during their Kyoto trip and if Karma was really pulling one over them or not.

One could argue that, unlike Isogai and Maehara, neither of them had a part-time job, nor the pressures of their family disapproving of any single relationship they had. They just had university to worry about and although many couples had agreed to take a break or give each other more space during this time, with the foundation Koro-Sensei had given them and their previous experiences with working to the point of exhaustion despite their results, they weren’t as stressed nor lagging behind in their work. Nagisa’s mother… well their father had caught wind of the whole situation and in a surprising ownership of backbone, had driven from Nagoya back to Tokyo. The anime can say all they want but drugging your son because he won’t listen is not alright and the unnamed father at least can recognise this is blatant child abuse (even looking past the obvious physical, emotional and psychological abuse towards Nagisa).

Hiromi dodged a mental facility but is mandated with a restraining order and obligatory therapy sessions and Nagisa lives with his father now. And although it was a result of some incredibly stressful and terrifying events, Nagisa can’t deny that he does like the freedom his father’s guilt gives him.

Does he care about his appearance? Yes, he cut his hair the moment he got out of his mother's clutches and despite the crawling feeling over his skin every time he feels the ghostly swish of airy fabric over his thighs, he does appreciate the confidence and power a pair of well-fitted jeans, blouse and wig give him when he can turn around and talk back to whatever stuck-up egoistical person decided to hit on him for the night and not worry about the learnt fear a woman has or the fact that they would recognise him next time he walks by with his school friends.

Karma’s parents just don’t turn up ever. There’s the occasional postcard and good job sent via email in response to his latest report card but those are rarer than a successful purchase during the Sunday markets or a cool day during the hot humid days in August.

But there was a wedge driven between the two. Nagisa attends the Keisetsu Daigaku Fuzoku High School whilst Karma returns to his stomping ground at Kunugigaoka High School, having fun antagonising Gakushuu and the school staff because, honestly, who didn’t know about the massive highlighter-yellow sentient octopus up the hill.

But that doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is Nagisa was walking back at 3 am to Karma’s and not his dad’s place. He had been drinking with friends cause who doesn’t try it at high school - especially with his friend group at the high school with his newfound confidence in both his own skills (academically and physically - come on they all must excel at gym class now) and his appearance. He’s dressed in a pair of black jeans, the straight leg hanging over a pair of well-worn boots and a graphic t-shirt tucked into the waistband. It would be a well-put-together look for a casual get-together with friends to destress before the final month in the run-up to their exams but a bruise was starting to bloom on his upper shoulder and the back of his jeans was sticking to the back of his calf. His dad would freak at the sight of his injuries and that’s why he was walking the slightly longer trek to Karma’s despite the fact that the only form of communication they’d had in three weeks was over text.

He finally walks up the apartment stairs, sweat beading on his forehead at the exertion and pain he’s in. He considered calling the other boy at some point but ‘why make him wake up just to help him up a couple steps’ he thinks. He stands outside the door, the white paint matching every other apartment along the block debating his options before he lets his head fall forward, a loud and long triiiiiiiiing ring out from the doorbell.

He stays like that for a moment, having managed to shift away from the doorbell and onto the spyhole by the door - unconsciously hoping his blue hair gave him away.

On Karma’s side of things, he’s awake but close to drifting off to sleep. As much as their time in 3E had given them good study habits and he was confident enough in his own abilities to pass the upcoming exams, the amount of revision material his teacher provided that he had to slog through, otherwise prompting an unnecessary video call between his parents and teachers, was a stupidly large amount. And so he was here, a Saturday night, hoping to work early into the morning before passing out for 6 hours, waking for a quick dinner and then sleeping straight to a Monday morning he knew there was a high likelihood he’d skip anyway.

Well, he had let his eyes shut for another moment, enjoying the rocking motion and sweet bliss of nothingness sleep deprivation gave him before his incredibly unexpected doorbell went off.

Now Karma could be your average Joe and go “Now who could that be?” but this is Karma we’re talking about and he goes something more along the lines of “Ughhhsahdhsaarghhhh” cause not only does he have to actually stand up but he has to walk to the door, open it and engage in some random socialisation at…. 3 am????

Now does he spot Nagisa’s strikingly bright hair colour in the spy hole? No. Cause who goes and checks that first before actually opening the door? Instead, he opens the door and gets a tumbling Nagisa tripping over the doorframe into his hallway and himself too.

At first, he’s really really confused cause why is Nagisa here, why at this time, why did he not make the excellent decision to sleep earlier and why- Why Is There Blood Soaking His Jeans.

“Why is there blood soaking your jeans?” He says, admittedly softer (no less concerned) than his inside thoughts. He doesn't receive the answer he really wants but he does get a frustrated huff against his neck (‘So fucking warm- omg Akabane Karma no you should not be thinking about this’) and a “My jeans?” from the smaller boy now in his arms.

They somehow make it to his living space, Nagisa on his sofa (wow it’s used for more than the gaming nights he has with his friends) now half jean-less and Karma inspecting the wound. They haven’t talked yet, just the sound of clothes rustling and the occasional huff of pain as the disinfectant is applied and the injury dressed filling the empty presence of the early morning silence as the sky starts to shift in preparation for the 4 am dawn.

In the end, it’s one of Karma’s intrusive thoughts that managed to make its way to his voicebox and into the living room audio. He doesn’t realise it at first, but he does find out pretty quick that it probably wasn’t something for this moment and time when Nagisa looks up with a quick “What.”

It’s cold, and exactly like the jagged edge of a serrated knife and Karma starts to backpedal (which is pretty hard when you don’t actually know what you’ve said)

“I uh- take that back? Just an intrusive thought, didn’t mean to say it out loud-” And he realises he sounds absolutely delirious but that doesn’t matter all too much to Nagisa right now and here.

“You think… You think I can’t handle myself? Karma you know-”

‘Ah fuck’ Is all Karma could think. And yet, his mouth kept on running stupid stupid words.

“No you can’t! You can’t say that not when you’re on my couch with bloody tissues over in a pile and a bruise over your arm and shoulder.”

“And what gives you the right to lecture me about my choices and my skills and my abilities” cause damn Nagisa spent so long shackled to his own worries and anxieties eating away at him over Was He Good Enough, Would She Be Mad, What Do I Do, to stand being accused of this. “What about you, and how you came in with bruises and cuts, how you got sent down the ladder because you-” and now he’s pouring salt into old wounds and attacking it with a scrubbing brush now, “-because you basically Fucking Asked For It!” And he’s sitting up, one leg still in his jeans, the other he’s trying to keep still and relaxed ‘less the dressing loses its hold and his wound reopens.

“And if I’m a hypocrite, then what about you?” The logical side of Karma’s brain starts to just Go and the more emotional side (maybe its cause wow the guy I’ve been pining over for years is injured and I don’t like that, or maybe it's just can’t he just know that I’m concerned - but there’s zero worry for his own choices Nagisa is accusing him of (he’s accepted his own consequences a long time ago)) takes over.

“You just keep coming back to these things, you’re worse- it’s been going on for Years.” The azure-headed gestures to his own injuries, “It’s not just that- it’s…”

“It’s what?”

“The cliff.”

And the two words start Karma spiralling. But he doesn’t spiral in silence, Karma just keeps talking and talking and the emotions keep building up underneath the rushing memories of falling and darkness and the crashing relief of Alive.

“No fuck you, I know about the bomb - you stupid martyr - I know you are capable; I saw you take down Takaoka fucking twice now but it doesn’t take away from the fact that you were ready to fight the Reaper just for an opening for us to attack” His voice just kept getting louder and louder- he hopes the neighbours aren’t awake.

“Why do you care about me? Why not care about yourself just a bit more?”

“Because I do” and that’s true, he just does. It’s a fact of life - he doesn't know why-

“But why?!”

“Because I love you!” Oh.

Oh.

They return to the silence they had held before sans the sounds of movement. The words registered in Nagisa’s brain before they did in Karma’s but both of them left the confession hanging in the air.

“...you should probably change into something else.” Karma got out, mind making the decision to escape this instead of confronting the words.

“I- yes. I’ll take a shower first.” Nagisa leaves the room, knowing his way around Karma’s apartment, one leg still in his jeans.

Unbeknownst to Karma, currently still standing in his living room, Nagisa practically crumbles; clinging to the wall as he makes his way towards Karma’s bathroom. His mind is reeling, thoughts going absolutely crazy as he peels off his other jeans leg and t-shirt and starts up the shower. The water jets out cold, the hum of the generator leading into a warm spray as he lathers up soap - avoiding his calf as much as he can - before rinsing off and stealing a towel from Karma’s cupboard.

He wanders into Karma’s room, holding his towel up in some form of privacy despite their many onsen trips, and raids his closet and drawers; pulling on a soft pair of joggers that he either has to roll up or risk looking like a penguin and a well-worn t-shirt. Despite the warm summer weather, the apartment is cold and looking at Karma’s study materials on his desk tells Nagisa that he wasn’t asleep when he came ringing his doorbell.

Before he steps into the living room, Karma’s words finally hit him. He stands in front of the bedroom door, contemplating if he’s willing to bypass the etiquette drilled into his very nature and simply just fall asleep in Karma’s bed and deal with everything tomorrow. But no, it’s Nagisa we’re talking about and so he steps into the living room and tentatively asks:

“Do you… do you want to talk about it? Or should I just take the sofa and we can talk in the morning?”

And Karma is just standing there, in the same position as Nagisa left him in and now he’s worried “...Karma?”

The single word tinged with enough concern worry, sadness??? To get his attention and Karma just sits on the couch and Nagisa pads over to sit next to him.

“I just- If you just want to forget everything and stay friends then we can just sleep and wake up in the morning and continue and ignore this-”

Nagisa just nudges Karma and it shuts up his ramble. The boys just sit there for a bit longer, before Nagisa continues, “I don’t know if it’s love for me. But it does feel very natural for me just to flow into… Something closer”

And it isn’t love yet for Nagisa, and maybe not for Karma either because Nagisa still carries the hurt when Karma drifted that one school year and Karma carries the guilt of being scared. And yes, they’ve talked about this but it's still a significant part of their lives. They’ll work things out, they’ve already talked about it once and now the topic is less hard to breach but right now Karma will let Nagisa have the option of the sofa and the bed and Nagisa will shoot a “Well the bed’s big enough for two enough, might as well make the most of your parent’s money” and they do sleep in the same bed, backs together but hearts going slightly faster before their breathing evens out.

They don’t sleep long enough to complete Karma’s plans to wake up just for dinner but Nagisa does start lunch which in turn wakes Karma. And they eat a simple lunch of rice, veg and meat then spend time looking over Karma’s revision sheets cause even though Nagisa plans to go into education in university, he’ll never turn down free knowledge cause that’s not what Koro-Sensei would have done nor wanted.

And maybe Karma struggles writing a text a few weeks later with the simple “Cafe for Lunch - Sun?” On a Saturday evening but Nagisa beats him to it with a “Sunday - Lunch/dinner???” And it's a horrid affair cause both of them are menaces to society when paired together but they leave the premise laughing and go back to Karma’s for dinner and when Nagisa leaves to head back home Karma leans against the doorway and asks “After exams, wanna go camping?”

And Nagisa knows deep down that this will all work out.

2023/10/27

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[furretd0ll]

hey so I uhhhhhhh am working on a Kieran/Juliana wedding/baby fic right now so if you wanna read it...here you go lol bye

*Furret fled using RUN AWAY*

[yxstxrdrxxm]

Just a reminder with asks to not send me any if it's for another person. I'll delete it if you do. I'm not your messenger, even if my blog theme (right now) is one.

Thanks.

[feminurge]

the thing about ishtar is that she is overpowered in every universe.

she stems from a warhammer character i've had for eleven years who has been getting experience points ever since her creation.

like. among the things she has done:

my girl has met & defeated divine plans that were created centuries ago

she was the pupil of one of the most powerful elve mages the old world has ever known

she has been in other gods' realms and stolen from them without their knowing

she has been chosen by an elven goddess (even though she's human), she has also been recognized by the whole human pantheon as the saviour

she is the first human to birth and ride a dragon by herself

she is the first human to be able to use pure magic, and is deemed the most powerful mage of the old world

she is also the one who influenced the current king and queen to accept the use of magic and to create a school for magic-users, ending centuries of witch burning

she has made deals with every race, successfully rallying humans, elves and dwarves to her cause, something that was deemed impossible

she literally crowned multiple chosen ones (for other gods). like. went, found the artefact and made them wear it. weird that it happened more than once

she has more than twelve destiny points (the normal amount is two, three if you're really lucky)

[spidergangforever]

OK I've got one for Huntsman.

You're able to track through scent and a keen eye for tracks in various terrains. Have you ever tracked big game, like say...a moose? And if you did, have you kept anything as souvenir like the horns?

~ Princess Anon (👸)

I always say "Morning" because if it was a good morning I would be Hunting

[zukkaoru]

a preview of the fic i wrote for @nanamikentozine !! featuring spot art by the wonderful jasper

pre-orders are open now until june 17 - grab a copy today for the full fic + art as well as lots of other amazing fics, art, and merch! the shop can be found here

[yellowocaballero]

I just finished your New Wave fic. I’m convinced everything your write is gold. I loved your TMA fics, with the most heartbreaking demon AU imaginable and the hilarity of Fahrenheit 101. I loved your moon knight fics, starting with Steven talking to animals on the reg at work to the system growing closer with a focus on Jake, i- there’s- it’s sooo much packed into it. When I’m on burnout, of art or writing (maybe life in general at times) I revisit your work and am thrown back into a creative headspace.

You are my favorite writer, you cram so much meaning and thought into your work and it shows. The characters are dumbasses and say the most ridiculous shit and turn around the next chapter and say the most thought provoking thing, and I don’t get whiplash from it because these characters just work! They just do, and I… am very much off track!

Anyways I just got into Batman and reading your fic is fueling that flame! I can’t wait to see what you have in store next, and I shall now stalk your blog for writing tips! I hope you have a nice day broski 💙

Thank you!! This is so sweet thank you so much! This ask is so nice!

Trust me, if there's meaning then it's because I get obsessive over these fics and I massively overthink them. I honestly wish I was better at making simpler, more elegant stories. I feel like nothing I do is truly going to be good until I can find that simplicity.

"Dipshit who says stupid stuff and then turns around and spouts ridiculous philosophy" is just how I talk. But I habitually approach my life from a standpoint of finding humor in everything, if only to soften the blow. I was once told that it's really hard to tell when I'm joking, because everything I say is always half-joking and always half-serious. I feel like that's pretty evident from my narration too...

As for writing advice...um, I was just speaking about this with somebody. When you're plotting a story, the first thing I like to figure out is what I'm trying to say. Everything else should be built around that. The joy of writing is that I think we all have something we want to say, or something we want people to know, or that we have an aspect of ourselves and our lives that we want to express. Most of the time, trying to convey those things verbally just results in a frustrating approximation of your true feelings. I find that when I manage a successful story, the depth and scale of what I'm trying to impart is fully understood and felt. It's rewarding. I think if people aren't understood on some level, by somebody, they kind of die.

Thanks for the sweet ask!!

[ourlordapollo]

So I was reading @crimetimesteadicam 's Supermassive Retinol Overdose, as you do, and upon reaching the Concert-Hole-Goemon-Winter-Soldier-Yata-do-you-want-a-snowcone scene in Chapter 3 I thought it would make an excellent movie scene. And then I thought "Wait, I can do (something like) that"

So I studied up on gauze pop, missed the point of gauze pop, wrote a gauze-y electro pop song, watched & sampled a bunch of clips of Lupin III, threw everything into a blender, aaaaand made. sort of a. soundtrack? for the chapter?

I call it "Vitamin A." Here it is.

[CW for canon-typical gunshots, unspecified loud-ish noises, lyrics about getting high, and extremely amateur mixing]

Anyway, @crimetimesteadicam , I hope this brings you half as much joy as your fic has brought me! The flier for Da Concert Hole makes me laugh every time I read it :)

[Lyrics under cut]

I need you to stay with me, baby

Little confused, the memory's fading

Can't remember if we fucked

Lube up, slip your knuckles through the handcuffs

Take me down slowly, watch the smoke rise

Serpentine as seconds swim by

Roll the papers, dodge the curveball

Tonight, we're smoking retinol

Talk me down, talk me down, talk me down

Take me out, take me out, take me out

I don't know, I don't know, I don't who

Who I am, who I am, who I am

Watch your back and trip down the staircase

Matcha swirl, laced something I can't taste

Open wide and catch the ashfall

Tonight, we're huffing retinol

[Instrumental]

"Goemon, what are you—?"

Talk me down, talk me down, talk me down

Take me out, take me out, take me out

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know

Who I am, who I am, who I am

[donutcats]

tosses chapter 3 of my kitty/min ho fic into the wild. this is the first chapter fic I’ve ever tried to keep up with and so far I’m having a lot of fun. I have absolutely no idea where I’m going with it, so I guess just have fun while I figure it out, yeah?

[loverboydotcom]

my very strong philosophy that i need to perceive my characters as real people in order to feel like i can write them at the depth a novel needs + i try to see expand my view of them as far as possible so they have a life an existence that a novel only snapshots a part of + this being a big part of my writers identity bc my relationship with my characters is very important to me is still very real but also very funny now because i've realised when it comes to short fiction i do not give a fuck like that. like i put everything into my characters bc i think making complex characters/relationships is my best skill but they are nothing but names to me (and i barely name my protagonists cause i just dont give a fuck if its not needed) and shadows reflecting an idea i thought was cool. like the way with novels i'll say felix and beau and dorothy are my best friends and they've just granted me access to their stories and i can't imagine how i'd go through life without thinking about them and their lives...then with short fiction the characters are just dolls that i throw out once i'm done with them

[emulation-0]

ok lrb i feel like the biggest idiot ever and i probably am 💀it has been established multiple times but ive been really feeling it now these past few days

[rigginsstreet]

you know how in new girl it was a thing that winston couldnt do pranks because he’d either go too small or go way overboard to the point of causing physical harm or something lmao but like thats exactly how i feel about writing conflict or people being mean like idk where the middle ground is like i just need for a character to be an annoying asshole but all that ever comes to my brain is “go for the jugular. bring up a dead mom or some shit” like idk how to casually be a dick lmfao

[hellonearthtoday]

canon is dead I rule the world. dsmp you are MINE

dsmpblrs ocs shared between the 5 (five) singular people that inhabit this fandom

I'm taking the chance to just talk about my personal dsmp au that is basically canon if you don't think about it

I don't think we as a community wrote enough about demon ctommy. he was always my favorite it just gives him this evil vibe that I think is sooo funny and I always see it in ctommy art but never in literally any fic. and that's fine but imp or whatever-he-is-Tommy will always be real in my heart. in my head he used to be a bird hybrid, but when he died for what was supposed to be the final time they took his fucking wings and gave him cunty demon horns and tail. Death made him emo. for the sake of this narrative his wings used to be white too. Pair this with religious ctommy and you get peak

ctubbo. I think about him a lot. I think personally he wears armor under his coat. You'd think it start to get hot under there, and it does. his solution is to just Never leave the Arctic.

At some point he started developing resting bitch face, because it used to just be resting (autistic face of neutrality) but now he kind of just looks tired all the time. Not like Tommy's rbf where he looks like he's kinda pissed and has a headache 24/7. but at least they're semi matching now. bff's!!! (?) I can't write too much about ctubbo because my cutbbo is like 20 billion contradictions stacked on itself. he's not as simple as my ctommy.

He doesn't wear the red bandana anymore but he can't tell you why and he's not insecure about the scar on his face but he's not proud of it either. I FORGOT TO DRAW CRANBOO AND HIS WEDDING RINGS IM AN ANTI WHAT THE HELLL okay ignoring that blunder, their wedding rings are meant to be on their horns 💔 you can't fucking see cranboos singular (1) horn because it's out of frame, they're too tall.

SPEAKONG OF CRANBOO!!!! snakes in his hair because Hahhaa hattte eye contact????? Medusa???? get it guys get it do you guys get jut

The snakes talk to him. Take that as you will. He's a chronic suit wearer and will literally not wear anything else unless it's under or over the suit. he would like to never try anything new ever he needs this constant in his life or everything will fall apart and the world will end. He knows how to kit up and wear armor but just as a joke he wears random bits of armor in places he literally needs it least. as a fashion statement. Tommy doesn't wear any armor usually bcz who gaf he's not doing that shit

in my perfect world the egg plot in dsmp actually got used better and becsme more than a background plot. it could've been everything. anyway my dsmp au is egg war las Nevadas craziness and I'm right goodnight

[akimiiyo]

-> JEALOUSY

⌗synopsis : genshin men when they’re jealous.

⌗characters : diluc, kaeya, albedo, zhongli, childe, baizhu, xiao, thoma, ayato, heizou, wanderer, kazuha, tighnari, cyno, alhaitham, kaveh, neuvillette, lyney, dainsleif, dottore, pantalone, capitano, pierro.

⌗cw : gn!reader, not proofread, lowercase intended, probably ooc.

he’s a gentleman, he doesn’t get jealous often because he knows for a fact that he has nothing to worry about. you’ve never done anything that made him feel as if he had to watch out and he’s certain that you never will. although he can still get annoyed at the sight of another man flirting with you. it was his insisting even after you turned him down that angered him the most. nonetheless, he doesn’t let such people interfere with his composure. he’ll act mature and take you somewhere else once he sees that the man has no intentions of leaving you alone. as soon as you both get a moment alone together, however, he won’t hesitate to plant a few more kisses than usual. just in case, y’know?

diluc, zhongli, alhaitham, neuvillette, dainsleif, capitano.

he won’t admit it, but he gets jealous often. he doesn’t want to confront you about it because he believes it’s embarrassing and silly to feel that way. i mean, you’re his and he’s yours. you love him so much, there’s no need to worry, right? yet, he still can’t help but fume at the sight of strangers complimenting you. he can’t blame them, but he still would rather for people to be blind if that meant that they’d leave you alone. he’s aware of how unfair that would be, so he just stays quiet, either sulking or glaring at those people as you offer them a kind smile until you’re both alone where he’ll be needing your utmost attention.

xiao, albedo, thoma, kazuha, kaveh, baizhu.

he’s jealous and he’ll show it. hit on his partner? right in front of him? absolutely not. he might try to keep his calm at first, but as time passes and this scumbag is still around, he won’t hold back. not to worry, he won’t do anything extreme (unless he’s forced to do so), he just wants to make things clear to this guy. he’ll keep it simple at first, simply making subtle comments until he actually starts going straight to the point. after a while, he’ll take your arm and walk away with you, now being angrier than before. the way that guy was talking to him, but especially you, has him furious. be prepared to listen to his angry rant about that random dude. be also prepared to shut him up, you know how.

kaeya, childe, heizou, tighnari, cyno, wanderer, lyney.

this guy almost sees you as his property, his jealousy is unmatched. he won’t take anything lightly. if you’re trying to make advantages on his partner, then you’re asking for it. simple as that! he won’t let anyone think they might have a chance with you because you’re destined to be with him and only him. so obviously, he must make it clear to everybody to not even try. if someone is bold enough though, he’ll just stand beside you, piercing through this man’s soul with his icy gaze. thankfully, nothing ever escalated from that. not that he wouldn’t be capable of doing that, these poor souls simply knew better than to get against someone of that status and reputation.

ayato, dottore, pantalone, pierro.

⌗a/n : im not really proud of this, i might edit it once i have time. it’s 4am and i was supposed to be studying, but i ended up writing this instead. talk about procrastination 😪 let me know if i made any mistakes pls

want to read more? take a look at my masterlist!

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