#;; i dont want to reply to asks not meant for me; my content; or anything of the sort.

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

Just a reminder with asks to not send me any if it's for another person. I'll delete it if you do. I'm not your messenger, even if my blog theme (right now) is one.

Thanks.

[blublublujk]

good girl, gone bad

oneshot

word count: 6k

genre: established (secret) relationship

pairing: good girl y/n x bad boy jk

summary:

“I can’t believe anyone actually likes those stupid fucks. I mean, the hickeys, it’s like he wants everyone to know he actually fucks.” You stay staring just a tad longer at the buff (sexy) jock, short enough so that Karina won’t notice. This time the boy proudly parading the trail of hickeys down his neck smiles at you and parts with a quick wave, some blonde hair boy from the group laughs at him and shakes his arm teasingly. You can’t help but to smile too, it’s barely there, but he’ll know. You decide to turn around and follow her steps. “Yeah totally, me either.” What your best friend doesn’t know won’t kill her… right?

warnings: basically just pwp but plot went missing (oops!), swearing, smoker jk (i swear if anyone complains in my inbox i'll haunt you), explicit sexual content; jk has a huge dick ok, consensual recording/pictures, car sex (don't fuck in a car), hickeys, unprotected vaginal sex, dirty talk, spanking, squirting, breast play, blowjob, fingering, cunnilingus, come shot (on face), slut shaming (again lol), come tasting/swallowing, stomach bulge (my fault i love this one), choking, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, creampie

a.n: sorry for a late update hope yall dont mind, but i just wanna get rid of all my drafts they are PILING. lol forgive me for only always writing about jungkook, but he's so easy to write about. he breathes, and i instantly open my notes app (im not even joking). this has been sitting in my drafts since his LA trip (iykyk) it sparked a conversation and i wrote it. i want that man bad... and im lesbian :D

ANYWAYS enjoy and STREAM GOLDEN for our golden bunny <3

p.s: i'll probably come back to this couple but its a oneshot for now... but wouldn't no nut nov be fun with this jk?? everyone say yesss. ok bye.

—> m.list

—> welcome me on ao3 & twt

—-

“Ugh, what a piece of shit.”

Before you even get to ask who, the motorcycle roars back to life across the parking structure belonging to the very one and only, Jeon Jungkook. A group of college jocks crowd around the man. There’s a cigarette between his fingers, he’s not paying it much attention though. He's deep in conversation, laughing at something one of them said, clearly more invested in the joke than anything else around him. 

As the laughter dies down, he looks over, eyes connecting while he brings the cigarette to his pierced lip, slowly inhaling the toxic fume. The terribly annoying (yet somehow sexy) tattooed jock on his loud motorcycle winks towards your direction, before selfishly exhaling that poisonous smoke into the air. Fuck, you really, really wanted to hate him too. 

“Yuck.” Karina gags with a scrunch to her nose, turning a cold back to them and you’re grateful to her because you almost get stuck in his lustful gaze. 

“Yeah… yuck.” You reply with no real meaning somehow managing to convince her you meant it.

“I hate him and his stupid friends. They are killing the Earth slowly and they don’t even give a fuck!” Karina argues in all her given glory and in her environmental science major mindset. “Plus those cancer sticks reek, why must the general public suffer because they can’t last thirty without them.”

Jungkook could last thirty without them. Way more than thirty when you were around him, especially when he was given something (or someone) to entertain himself with, but you couldn't say that aloud so the sudden thoughts stayed safe and sound in your head. 

“No, no they don’t. But what can we do?” There’s a sigh and then you clear your throat. “Should we get going now?”

Your arm wraps around hers, gesturing the way back to campus with a swift wave where you both had been meaning to study given that classes finally started cramping in heavy assignments.

“Yes, please.” Karina is quick to sharply turn her heel and walk back towards the building. “I can’t believe anyone actually likes those stupid fucks. I mean, the hickeys, it’s like he wants everyone to know he actually fucks.”

You stay staring just a tad longer at the buff (sexy) jock, short enough so that Karina won’t notice. This time the boy proudly parading the trail of hickeys down his neck smiles at you and parts with a quick wave, some blonde hair boy from the group laughs at him and shakes his arm teasingly. You can’t help but to smile too, it’s barely there, but he’ll know. You decide to turn around and follow her steps. “Yeah totally, me either.”

What your best friend doesn’t know won’t kill her… right?

—-

“You taste disgusting.” There’s a muffled laugh pressed into your lips, as your tongues meet halfway, meeting each other’s lips in a bruising wet kiss. Your ass grinds roughly against his lap, groaning into your mouth while you bring your ass flush down, feeling his soft cock harden below you. His right hand grips your right ass cheek, jiggling it in his hand, before smacking it (with love, of course!). 

“Yeah?” Jungkook smirks, bringing his mouth against your throat, sucking and licking everywhere there was space. He sneakily leaves little love bites behind even though he knows you’ll kill him for this later because you have somewhere to be after this. He even bites your ear lobe gently between his teeth, before he cockily whispers. “You love it though.”

The whimper that leaves your mouth should be illegal. It only drives Jungkook crazier. 

Both hands find purchase on your ass now, spanking you once again in each cheek. Though Jungkook was a bit disappointed he wasn’t seeing your flushed bare cheeks on top of him, but he guesses he can settle for now. “You gonna let me fuck you now baby?”

He gropes your asscheeks without any hesitation, still leaving wet kisses buzzing onto your skin, stealing a quick kiss from your raw-bitten lips. 

“Mm, only if you ask nicely.” You tease, dragging a finger along his jawline.

With this, Jungkook laughs, throwing his head back. Your hand comes to fist his hair, while he drops another wet smooch onto your lips. “You know I’d do anything for a piece of this ass angel.”

You smile into the kiss, grinding harder against his now– hard cock. You felt your folds leak of your own arousal. It was so undeniable. The attraction between you two, the desire to take each other apart, to be within each other’s arms. There was no place like Jungkook’s lap. Here you could stay forever.

“Imagine what people would say if they saw you like this baby.” Jungkook starts teasing, tugging your shirt off with no trouble. Your breasts catch his attention, noticing that you are wearing that black lingerie set he had bought for you last Valentine’s Day. “Fuck. Look at you baby.”

He squishes your breasts together, leaning up to kiss the uncovered tender flesh on both sides. You don’t even attempt to hold your moans back. “I– nghhh.”

“Did you expect to get fucked today princess? Hmm? Is this all for me?” Jungkook’s words work like magic, they drip off his sinful tongue like honey. You bring your body flush against his, burying your blushing face against his neck. “Don’t get shy on me baby, tell me. Did you wear this all for me?”

He purrs sweetly and you only nod, cheeks burning red. 

It's not like you were embarrassed of him, no in fact, you were happy to announce that the college campus’ certified bad boy is all yours and has been for the past two years. 

There was no exact moment to this, the attraction had always been there. 

You had first officially met Jungkook in one of your general ed classes. Statistics, to be exact, which he would have one-hundred percent failed had it not been for you passing him the answers mid exams. It wasn’t like that to begin with of course, it took you some convincing. To be fair and to your excuse, it was so hard to say no to those beautiful big brown eyes.

At first, you assumed he was doing this all, acting lost and playing dumb, to get into your pants which he succeeded. However you had enough dignity left to make him work for it. Until you realized those secret smiles, stolen glances, and subtle hand holds were much more than just a silly game. You had fallen for his charm, and against everyone’s advice to stay far away from him, you fell in love with the (not so terrible) bad boy and let him take over your heart completely. It happened so randomly and so all at once. It was confusing, new, but most of all, liberating. 

Being with Jungkook was so freeing and the thrill of being caught with him was so worth it. It didn’t matter what people thought of you or him, you both were willing to die on this hill of love. 

Jungkook, too, had fallen quickly. How could he not? There was nothing to dislike and everything to love. Your pouty scolds, he looked forward to. The stolen glances across campus were his favorite, a secret only you and him held close to heart. There were times where your cheeks would flush pink, because he would steal kisses from you behind the campus library. You were seriously his favorite person ever. 

“Jungkook stop! What if someone sees us?” You would whisper-shout, a pout would form against your will. 

Jungkook would just kiss your worries away again and again and then say. “You’re the cutest little thing alive baby.” 

“Are you trying to change the subject?” It was hard to speak between kisses, that and the fact that he would squish your cheeks together like the adorable boyfriend he was. 

“I don’t know. Is it working?” His reply was cheeky and lips would start trailing down your neck and then you determined, yes. Yes, it is working. Fuck it all. 

It’s safe to say, he was yours since the start of it all, as you were his. Wrapped in each other’s fingers before anyone had realized it, now you were inseparable. 

“Answer me princess.” Jungkook pulls you back gently, observing your flushed face. “God, you’re so beautiful.”

Of course, this only makes you blush harder, but you do manage to admit. “Y-Yes… I wore this only for you. Always for you.”

Jungkook smiles, pecking your cheek. “Then I’m the luckiest man alive angel.”

He cradles your face, before leaning in to kiss you. This time, you guys take your time. Your mouths stay closed, taking the time to really feel the plushy feeling against your own and enjoy each other’s presence. You felt as if you were floating in clouds. 

“Jungkook.” You mumble onto his lips and he hums, but that’s not enough so you call his name once more with intent. “Jungkook.”

He pulls back with a questioning look. “Yes, my love?”

“Can you please just fuck me already?” The words come out barely above a whisper, even after fucking you so many times, you could be so shy at times.

Jungkook breaks out into a bunny-like grin, holding back a stifled laugh. “So much for wanting to make me say please, look at who’s pleading now.” 

“J-Jungkook…” Your face goes hot again and he laughs once more, patting your ass softly.

“Okay. Okay, my love. Enough teasing, I’ll fuck you since you asked so nicely baby.” Jungkook takes his sweet time taking off his own shirt, and pulling your skirt off. It was a bit tricker, given you were both in your car which was not fit for two people even in the backseat, but you guys always made it work. 

You were still scared to ride to campus with him as much as he begged you to because it would blow your secret relationship, but fucking on campus has yet to be off-limits. Mainly because Jungkook fucks you all too well, and you aren’t one to say no to good dick (oops).

He attaches his mouth right above the bare skin of your left breast. He holds your tits in his hands, pushing them together, stuffing his face right between them. Jungkook makes sure to pay attention to both breasts (it’s only fair), rubbing your hard buds through the black lace which hardly covers them. You bite back a moan, feeling him rut up against your heat, his hard length pressing stiffly against you, your walls already clenching, desperate to feel him inside you.

His tattooed hand slips below, releasing the nipple he had been tugging on earlier. You feel the tip of his fingertips brush against your panties. “Fuck, you’re so wet baby. I can’t wait to be inside you.”

Surely by now, you were dripping onto the lace. His erection is still pressing against your inner thigh. “D-Don’t wait then.”

Your boyfriend smiles, bringing his lips to yours. “Behave. You’ll get some dick inside you soon.”

Like the brat you were, your eyes rolled back so used to being spoiled. He pays it no mind though because his tongue comes out again, licking your lips apart. Your tongues meet once more, this time you suck his tongue into your mouth, brushing it against the roof of your mouth. He taste quite bitter, it’s the cigarette from earlier, yet somehow and against all judgement, he tastes fucking delicious. Especially when a grunt slips from his throat, feeling you roll your barely covered folds against his fingers.

He allows this, putting more pressure with two fingers, feeling you drench his fingertips even through your panties. Jungkook pushes his tongue deeper into your mouth, spit mixing as he reciprocates the favor, sucking gently on your tongue. You tasted like the strawberries you had earlier for lunch and Jungkook groans, greedily swallowing the taste in your mouth. 

What an innocent sweet little thing you were and he was about to ruin you all. 

Cigarettes and strawberries. 

Quite the pair. 

You whine into his mouth, unable to hold back much longer. “Please, Jungkook…”

He smirks against your mouth. How much he loved the way you fell apart on his cock. Especially more, when he had barely had his hands on you and you were already begging for more. Jungkook pulls back, but not before you whine a soft “no.” He holds your cheeks in his palms, forcing you to look directly into his hazy eyes. 

“Imagine if people knew baby.” His voice comes out more sultry, rough around the edges. His thumb carrasses your cheek, patting your mouth open. “How much of a slut you were for this dick.”

His words make you mewl (he knows how much you get off to this thought), he slowly eases two fingers into your mouth, holding your chin in place. You made sure to suck on them as he liked, your tongue coming flat against them. 

Jungkook bucks his hips into yours, chest rising while he watches you suck, like the good girl you were. “Imagine if they really knew, baby? Such a sweet girl like you, with someone so dangerous and reckless like me. What would they say? Hmm?”

He pulls out his fingers, seeing them barely glisten under the light.

“I- I don’t know.” Your voice is dry and soft yet, you are incredibly horny.

“You don’t know? I have a few ideas.” Jungkook chuckles, hands brushing along your back. “Can this come off?” 

He tugs your bra from behind and you hesitate to nod permission. “Good, I wanna watch them bounce when I finally fuck you.”

By now, you have given up resisting him, so you moan pathetically as he shreds your bra with ease and takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking the tender bud into his tongue, flicking it and placing it between his teeth. He tugs and licks the sting away, watching with hooded eyes as you squirm against him. Your face burns imagining the idea. 

What if people knew? How would your friends react? They would surely be disappointed, Jungkook was good for nothing but trouble. Yet, he was perfect to you. You were willing to defend him from hell and back. Whatever it took for them to believe you. 

Jungkook moves to the other bud, placing it into his mouth, cupping and gripping your breasts. His mouth was hot and heavy against your nipple, his tongue caressing the hard bud. He squeezes them one last time before letting them drop, watching them bounce gently against your chest. Yup, Jungkook was the luckiest man alive. There was nothing better than this moment right here.

Heat travels your body quickly, feeling your own chest rise, struggling to breathe in the steamy car. Your boyfriend looks down, communicating with his eyes instead of actually saying anything, your hands quickly move to his belt, tugging them off and throwing it anywhere else. Desperately, you unbuckle his jeans, harshly pulling his boxer down, just enough to watch his dick spring out. The flushed, wet length smacks against his stomach, watching as his abs clench at the sensation. If you stare any longer, you’ll start drooling. “So good for me angel.” 

There’s no time to waste. 

“Wanna suck you off.” You breathe out, voice filled with desire and lust, clearly it takes over because usually his girlfriend was much shyer and timid, but that all disappeared when Jungkook’s cock was present. 

“Yeah?” Jungkook watches you drop on your knees, your pretty knees will for sure suffer the consequences of your horny choice, but there was no stopping this. He pats his thighs as he leans back to give you enough space. “I’m all yours, baby girl.”

Jungkook bites the inside of his cheek when he feels your warm mouth wrap around his dick. Your tongue comes out messily, practically salivating and dripping all over him. There’s probably not a single day that goes by that you aren’t sucking his dick, but it was quite the experience every damn time. 

“F-Fuck, I wish you could see yourself.” He struggles a bit because the sight is fucking sinful and if people knew you like he did, they wouldn’t believe the person in front of him. 

His personal little cockslut. 

You pop off for a second, hand still wrapped around his length covered in your spit. “Yeah? Then take a picture for me, Kook.”

Double fuck.

When you first started dating Jungkook, you were against any pictures at all. After time passed and to his luck, you came around and you would let him take pictures, but only if he promised your face wasn’t in the frame. Now, his camera roll is covered with images of you and your blooming relationship. You didn’t care anymore about covering or blurring your face out. His camera roll consisted of just about everything, pictures of you sleeping peacefully against his chest as you would nap, videos of you laughing on the random adventures he would take you on, but never images of you nude. Never ever was he allowed anything that could probably incriminate you both, even if he would beg, ever-so sweetly. It seems like you came around after all. Bless you.

“Fuck, don’t talk to me like that princess, you have no idea what that does to me.” He’s never heard you sound so fucking sexy. Jungkook bites his lip, recovering his phone that had dropped earlier on the carpet. “You sure about this baby?”

“Yes.” Then you are back on his cock and he shudders, already snapping a few pictures. Your eyes looked up at the camera, making a show out of it all.

Jungkook tries controlling his heavy breathing but with a sinful tongue like yours, it’s impossible. “Can I record this princess, only if you’ll let me, of course.”

You take him deeper into your throat and nod furiously on his cock. You trusted him enough, you knew Jungkook could never hurt a single soul, unless they tried him. Point is, he would never do anything to break that trust so hell yeah, why not add more to his long collection.

“God, you are so perfect baby. Made for me and only me.” Jungkook’s voice is nothing short of possessiveness. He presses record, caressing your hair softly, almost petting you for your work like the good girl you were for him. “Imagine if they knew how well you take cock baby. How perfect those plump lips look around my dick. You’re like a dream come true princess, my personal cockslut.” 

You moan around his length, loving the bitter taste on your tongue and Jungkook has to hold back from fucking your throat, though he thinks you’ll love it anyways. 

“Can I fuck your throat?” His voice is raspy and you open your mouth wider, nodding so prettily with dick stuffed in your mouth. Jungkook is careful when placing your hair in a little makeshift ponytail for the meantime and as best as he can with one hand as he starts to thrust into your warm mouth. “So beautiful and all mine. Isn’t that right princess?”

You don’t get to reply, but the vibrations of your moans that manage to run through his cock  answer for you and it almost makes him smile. What a good girl you were. Pretty things like you deserved to be spoiled and he couldn’t wait to give you the fucking world. 

And was he fucking loving the show you were putting on for him becoming more needy and desperate on camera, your eyes rolled as he brutally used your throat for his liking. 

Jungkook bites at his bottom lip as he begins to roll his hips with much more force, feeling your throat take him down with greed. “Fuck baby, your throat feels amazing. Taking me so good.” 

He lets you go when he feels you tap his thigh and you gasp for air, tears threatening to leak down your face. “W-Want you to come on my face.”

Your voice is hoarse and his eyes widen at your sweet request. 

“Aren’t you just perfect for me today baby. Just you wait, you’ll get the best dick of your entire lifetime.” Not that you would know since he was your first and he knows that, proudly carries that in his cocky ego, but you always believed him. No one could fuck you better than this, you were sure. You bat your eyes at his promise and he comes down to kiss you messily, the camera records jackshit, but it captures your whiny moans and the sound of your lips smacking against one another. He pulls off with one last kiss and adjusts the camera frame back towards you as he takes his hard length and slaps his swollen, wet dick along your cheek. “Open up princess, I’m really fucking close.” 

You take him in with no hesitation and go to fucking work. Slurping and licking all over his length, your chin dripping with saliva, but you don’t even care anymore because his grunts and whines keep you going. 

Every now and then you look up at the camera making sure you do your best to keep him coming back. You know he will probably rewatch this every night that you aren’t there with him. And your predictions are correct because Jungkook’s already planning on watching this tonight and jacking off to it while you are out with Karina doing God knows what. All he knows is his sweet girl will be doing something productive while he’ll be coming undone in your gracious honor.

“I’m close baby.” He groans sexily, and his breathing starts to become sharp. “Look up baby, right into the camera, gonna come all over that perfect fucking face.”

Doing as he says, you look up sucking him dry, your hands come to relieve what you can’t cover with your tongue. His hand pushes you off for a second. “Tongue out baby.”

He fucks his fist and it doesn’t take long before he squirts his load all over your face, grateful that most of it lands on your tongue, you swallow it all immediately, humming gracefully at the salty taste. 

Jungkook’s eyes are blown out as he catches his breath and lets his dick flop back down against his thigh, you look like a fucking sin and he must be the Devil because he’s about to commit about thirty tonight. “Give me a second princess.”

He says between breaths as he stops recording with one last picture of your come-soiled face, still breathing heavily as he throws his phone on the floor again, thankful that he has something for later. You giggle against him and he almost awes as you throw your head against his bare thighs into a laughing fit. “Okay.” 

He huffs a dry laugh and pulls you up. “Times up. Come here.” 

Jungkook is quick to capture you in a sloppy kiss, not minding the leftover mess of come on your face, he doesn’t wanna mess up his masterpiece just yet. You soon grow desperate in his arms, but this time he doesn’t mess around. 

“Lay down.” Your bare back lands on the seats and he shoves himself between your thighs. Again, it’s steamy and fucking cramped in your car, but you both couldn’t care any less right now. 

His tongue hits your slit not bothering to move your matching panties, but the effect is almost the same. He licks a long strip watching you soil the silky lace mixing his spit with your own arousal. 

You moan sweetly as your legs come apart letting him completely devour your heat. Jungkook pulls off, tugging your spoiled little black panties to the side and continues on with his mission. His tongue finds your clit and you swear you could come like this. 

“R-Right there. Please.” Your boyfriend doesn’t let up either, eating your sweet pussy like it deserves. His tongue flicks your bud, building the sensation in your tummy. Jungkook sucks on your clit selfishly.

His chin is covered in your arousal. He’s humming and moaning deep inside your pussy, your juices stick onto his tongue like candy and he greedily swallows the treat whole. 

“B-Baby.” Your voice is struggling like his was earlier, but it’s there. He lifts his face from your heat, eyes in a lust-filled trance. Jungkook knows he’s pussy-whipped, but at least he admits his problems!

“Yes, my baby.” Jungkook’s eyes are blown out and he looks just as wrecked as you are. 

“C-Can I take a picture?” He almost gapes at your request, the amount of times you took him by surprise today. At this point, he would let you do anything, fuck his morality!  

“Do whatever you want princess. Pictures, videos. I’m all yours.” He gives you his full consent and permission to do anything so you are quick to grab his phone (you’ll send them over to yourself later) and start snapping pictures while he dives back in for seconds. 

Jungkook keeps your legs open while you are a whimpering mess above him, struggling to get the best picture. You have no idea how he was doing this himself, the pictures come out blurry as he continues to devour you as if it was his last meal.

He also puts on a show for the camera like you did so nicely earlier for him. Jungkoook’s eyes hood as he stares up, he even winks for the shot. If college didn’t ever work out for either of you, this would be something to look into. Good thing that was not the case, at least for you, his little straight A student. 

“I’m g-gonna come.” This only makes your boyfriend go crazier between your folds. He drops eye-contact with the camera and instead solely focuses on that pretty pussy presented for him. Jungkook’s tongue is sin itself, not letting up once as more arousal drips out of you. He slowly teases a finger inside, building your orgasm quickly as he fucks you open with his middle finger. “I’m– nghh. Fuh-fuck!”

The sentence is never finished as you start to squirt onto his tongue, creating your own little masterpiece on his face. Jungkook has never swallowed anything down faster than right now and he’s loving every second of it. Completely pussy-whipped and all, but at least he’s happy!

Your boyfriend finally detaches himself from your heat and the sight is nearly adorable. His hair is now all fucked up and he’s a sticky mess everywhere (you are sure you look no better). 

“Yum, I could do that all day.” Jungkook shamelessly says. 

“Mm, I’m sure.” You say coming down from your own orgasm, he gives you a few seconds to breathe as you set his phone down again. Jungkook takes his shirt from the floor and wipes himself clean. He does the same but it’s no use, the come that landed on your face has dried up and he doesn’t wanna scrub it off and end up hurting your precious face. 

Jungkook kisses your cheek affectionately as an apology. 

“There’s dry come on my face right?” You start to scold him, but he smiles with all his teeth apologetically and you forgive him at that moment. 

“Guilty.” He smirks, proud of his work, he thinks you truly haven't looked better. 

Wrapping arms and legs around your boyfriend you whisper innocently. “I was promised dick of a lifetime, unless… unless you lied to me?”

Jungkook scrunches his nose cutely while he looks at your perfect pouty face, doe-eyes begging to be fucked. “I never lie, not to you at least.”

He makes you laugh and he detangles your legs from his waist. “Now let me focus, I have a reputation to uphold.”

There’s no laughing once two fingers press into you and you gasp at the invading feeling, but the stretch only burns for a while before it turns into pleasure and you are whimpering at his touch. “Fingers so deep.”

He smiles and you throw your head back. “Yeah? My dick goes even deeper baby, I’m just making sure you can take it.”

“I can take it.” You breathe out against his pink lips. “I was made for you.”

The taller’s eyes nearly eat you alive, fuck you were so sexy. “That you were baby. My perfect little cockslut.” 

His fingers pull out of you brutally and you whine, but he kisses you roughly making you forget the loss. A hand wraps around your throat, squeezing it with purpose. You squirm in his hands and he pops off your lips. 

Fingers coated with your arousal trace your lips and you take them in greedily, sucking your own juices off the tattooed fingers, moaning at the delicate taste, his other hand still locked around your throat. 

“That’s my girl. All fucking mine.” You nod around his fingers and he finally lets go, gasping for fresh air. “‘M gonna fuck you now baby.” 

Your legs fly open in response, letting him have his way with you. 

“Do me a favor?” He asks while taking his hard length in his hand, jerking himself off while he awaits your response. 

“What?” You hum, confusion written all over your face. 

“Record this for me. I want you to see how I break you apart. How this pretty pussy makes a mess all over my dick. I want you to remember this fuck for the rest of your life.” His voice drops a few octaves and you can’t help but gasp and moan at his vulgar use of words. 

You used to be innocent, at least, that’s what Jungkook used to think. In a way, he thinks you still are. Untouched and pure, only for his eyes and his hands to touch. Jungkook is honored that he was your first, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. He was gentle and took care of you every step of the way. It was like that until you were begging and pleading for more. Sweet then, and sweet now.

He’s created a little monster, but he knows that your heart is pure and that’s what he loves most about you. 

“Okay, yes.” His phone is back in your hands and you click record, watching him line-up his cock. Jungkook groans as he disappears snuggly inside you. “Mmm.”

He lets you get used to the feeling and once he feels your breathing stabilize he starts to thrust himself with strong strokes inside you. 

Like the first time, you are struggling with the phone because you can’t stop shivering and shaking, you feel him in your guts and recording is much harder than pictures because it lasts longer and you can't stay still for that long. Not with dick inside you.

“K-Kook. I— oh.” You stop to moan when he hits your g-spot and he continues ramming that same spot over and over. “I- I can’t. Hand’s shaking.”

Your sweet boyfriend grabs the phone and lets you settle yourself. “That’s okay princess, I got you. Just lay there, I’ll take care of you.” 

He records himself ramming into you for a few minutes, watching himself disappear into you on camera. The taller one can't even believe this is his reality. How did this even happen and most of all with him of all people? He truly was the luckiest man alive! 

“‘S deep, Kook.” He fondles one of your breasts as he keeps a harsh pace, rubbing the hard nub with his thumb. 

“Yeah baby? Tell me where you feel it.” He whispers loving the way you tremble, your gaze struggling to keep up with his. 

“Right here.” You touch right below your belly, palm flat against the feeling of his cock inside you. “So so deep.” 

You mumble something else, but he doesn’t get to hear it because your high pitched moans drown everything out. He lets go of your breast watching them bounce as he continues to pound straight into your sweet spot. 

The camera catches it all though. The mess between your thighs look just as delicious on film as they do in real time. The sounds you make, the squelching noise that is being created by his cock going deep inside you, and most of all, it captures your beautiful face as it comes apart. 

He presses on your stomach right where your own palm rests and you strangle out a whine. “I- I can’t. T-Too much.” 

“You can take it. Remember?” His dick tears through you from the inside and you start yelling when he increases his pace. He’s fucking you mercilessly now and you can’t control the sounds that escape. “You were made for me, princess.”

“Yes, yes, I am.” You sound beautiful, but you would kill him if you guys got caught now especially in the position you guys are in. 

His firm hand finally comes off your stomach and instead two fingers go inside your mouth, muffling your screams and whines. 

The car rocks back and forth. He’s sure people know what the fuck is going on, the windows are foggy as fuck, for fuck’s sake, but you would hate him much worse for not finishing you off.

“Mmff, don— stopff.” He nearly giggles as you struggle to speak, but he keeps his promise quite well. He fucks you ever harder and deeper, his cock will surely fall off after this, but it’s all worth it. He slams inside, bottoming out fully before pulling out and repeating the same steps. “Fuhh-uk.”

“You like that baby?” Jungkook rasps feeling you squeeze tightly around him, which only means one thing, you are really fucking close. “Gonna come all over my cock princess?” 

“Mmff.” You are quick to nod and hum sweetly. He decides to pull his fingers out, spit dripping all over. “Yes, yes. Please, don’t stop. Harder Kook- ah!”

Jungkook almost forgets he’s recording and he centers the camera again, wanting to capture every last second of this. You are glistening all over, he’s made a complete mess of you, but he is no better. Jungkook is dripping sweat and yet, that doesn’t stop his mean and precise strokes against your velvet walls, stretching you in ways you didn’t even know were possible. 

The final straw is when you feel his messy fingers start toying with your clit and you are coming once again all over your back seats and wetting his cock just how he likes it. Being a squirter had its own perks with a boyfriend like Jungkook because that meant he never stopped fucking you until you completely had nothing more to give. 

Jungkook curses when he starts to see your orgasm trinkle out, he fucks you all through it though, feeling the water-like pressure against his slit. And it doesn’t take long before an orgasm catches up to him. 

“Inside.” You plead with a pout, eyes completely blown out. 

With one last curse Jungkook comes deep inside your walls. He catches his breath for a few moments before pulling out slowly, making sure to capture the dribble of his come which sadly hangs onto your hole. “Push it out for me princess.” 

“Nooo, we’re gonna make a mess Kook.” Jungkook shakes his head, a smile on his face because a mess has already been made. 

“I’ll clean it. Now, push it out baby.” You almost cover your face because you are sure you turned red, but you start to push his seed out of your hole and he’s tempted to fuck it back inside. 

“Fuck. That’s it baby. Perfect comeslut. Isn’t that right?” He stops recording once he’s gotten the shot he wanted and he starts to wipe you down with his shirt, lucky enough that he has a back-up hoodie to cover him after he’s done. 

“Yes, all yours.” 

You both smile against each other’s lips before he whispers. “I love you princess.” 

“I love you more.” 

“Impossible baby.”

—-

JK❤️: hiiii 🙂

me: hi baby :) everything okay?

JK❤️: marvelous 😇 i just came watching that video we took earlier ;))

me: baby! 😠  i'm out with karina! can you not talk about sex for two seconds while im out

JK❤️: sure! just came all over myself totally wasn't watching our sextape back ;)))

me: nice talk jungkook.

JK❤️: come home soon~~ i miss you :((((

me: love you too lol

JK❤️: not more than me. come home soon im serious!!!

me: i'll see you later jungkook. ❤️

JK❤️: 😠😠😠 

me: ❤️❤️❤️

[heongiu]

Kim Goo x Reader

"More than a secret friend ♥︎"

Warnings: NSFW, sexual content, anything else that isn't meant to be said out loud ;)

(A/N: first of all thankyou for the Goo requests! Second, It's my first time actually writing a whole ass smut fic so if there's some parts that might need to be corrected please do tell me 😭 I know fs this fic is shit- anyways hope you like it... 🥹)

“Hey!! So we meet again Y/N!!~” Goo spoke to you, waving at you whilst he sat down a chair. “ah hello" you spoke, you sounded down, well since you were tired from all these errands your voice would automatically sound gloomy.

“Oh cmon! Why are you all down?~" Goo taunted

"Ah it's.. Nothing" you replied, eyes examining the area around the blonde.

Looking around the place, for a second this made you remember the first time you had met him.

Which obviously, didn't go as planned.

~~~~~~

“Jeez.. I’m glad I walked away from that maniac..” You stood at the top floor of the 4th affiliate’s building, you walked around to find Samuel’s room where you had to meet someone, and search for something important of course.

“Why is it so dark here? Is the power out?” You looked around for a while. “Phew this is gonna take me a while" you wanted to get out of the room but suddenly an object tripped you, and you fell into a chair. Well it felt weird,

and.. it was a man.

“AHH WHO IS IT?!” You got up immediately. The power returned and the lights were on, finally you could see his face, he had a smug grin on his face, blonde hair, he had a blue Gucci suit on, with a yellow tie, all which seemed to compliment his complexion. You would've thought he was some celebrity if he didn't act like an idiot quite literally.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t see you sitting on the chair-“ you apologised to the man

“Oh oh~ well, I’ll forgive you for that I suppose” he laughed though from his expression he did seem to have enjoyed that. “I suppose you are a VVIP as well?” He further questioned. “Yeah.. I just got here to see how the 4th affiliate is working but, it seemed something had happened a day or two ago”

“Whats your name? I never heard about you from anyone” he asked

“its y/n l/n" You replied “well you’ve got a pretty name huh?~” he remarked to which you simply smiled

“My name is Kim Jongoo, Perhaps you’ve heard of me before?” He asked,

intrigued by you “Yes, I know of you sir” “sir?! Don’t call me that honey, you can just call me Goo~” something about his honeyed words was so mysterious, he just seemed like there was so much more to him.

Slowly you were getting tired from standing too long, you wanted to sit down but to your demise there was no other chair around. “You looking for something to sit on?” He asked

“perhaps”

"well here it is” he teased you signalling to his lap. the blonde seemed proud of his joke, you felt more embarassed and guilty than ever “I suppose I’ve found what I was looking for, I’ll leave soon-“

"Oh? well I thought I had some company but it seems you’re busy as well” Goo said with a noticeable frown on his face.

“Well then, bye, see you agai-" you spoke, hurrying out of the room. “wait!!!” The blonde gave you his business card.

“since we’re friends now, call me anytime you feel like you’d want to sit on me~ haha!”

he laughed at his lame joke again, you murmured a few curses under your breath, walking away from the place. You could still hear him yell from the background “dont forget me honey!!” He yelled at you.

“What a strange man.."

~~~~~~

Well to be honest after the incident you had only met him 3 times but not really at the 4th affiliate, he just seemed to be everywhere you were.

----

"Y/N?!! ARE YOU LISTENING?" He yelled at your face as you immediately unfocused your gaze, you realized you had zoned out for a long period.

"Sorry.. I zoned out a bit" you rubbed the back of your neck, as you stood there uncomfortable and in an awkward pose.

"You sure do look uncomfortable, something wrong?" He asked, slightly tilting his shades to have a better look at you. "Aah not really, why do you care?"

He laughed "why shouldn't I? You're my secret friend~"

"when did I agree to-"

"Anyway so I was telling you-"

And you tripped again on him. But he was quick enough to catch you.

"Hey, you seem to have quite a thing for my lap or some?" He cackled.

You did get a lot of second hand embarassment from this

But.. Why won't he let you go?

"Um.. Are you gonna let me go?" You asked, face red from embarassment.

"Do you want to be?" He asked, this time it was a joke or anything, his tone was kind of, serious.

Your voice won't come out.

"Fuck fuck!! Whats happening to me?!? Y/N SNAP OUT OF IT YOU ARE JUST HERE ON AN ERRAND, ahhh I'm getting distracted.. Fuck"

You thought to yourself. You thought for a second, his features from up close were indeed beautiful, this man was a heavenly creation of God himself, but God did miss out on his brains.

"Ah ah, caught you staring~"

"Ah n-no I wasn't-"

He brought his face close to you, examining your already embarassed expression and now your face had just turned 50 shades of red.

"You sure look cute when you blush" he laughed, flicking off some locks that laid in front of your face.

"I-"

Words wouldn't come out your mouth.

"Shh you don't need to speak" He grabbed your body to shift you even more closer to him, he kissed you, his light fingers traveling up and down your body. Your hands rested upon his chest.

Oh how his kiss was just as sweet as his words. You wished he didn't pull away so soon.

"Whaa~ You want me to kiss you more?~" he teased, but from your expression the answer was so evident.

"You sure do seem to enjoy it huh?~"

Yes, yes you did, and a lot. And honestly, who wouldn't? Definitely not you

You had come here to get some work done, but now that things have turned out this way, you really don't regret it. This is much fun isn't it?

He stared into your irises, examining ever feature you've got to show, slowly his hands began to undress you, piece by piece, inch by inch.

"Doesn't this feel exciting?~"

He asked you, once again. You responded with a soft 'yes' as he rewarded you with humble kisses on your neck, fingers fondling with your breasts gently.

His hands grabbed and massaged every part he could possibly see, which was, well untouched by him. He kept undressing you until you were entirely bare.

"Oh look at you princess, you look like you were made for me~"

You were indeed made for him, melting into his soft and firm touches like a lit candle's wax. The way he caressed every part of you like you were a sculpture. He was really into it.

He kept kissing you passionately, your tongues colliding with eachother. His hand slowly but smoothly slipped under your skirt, into your panties, and to your slick, throbbing cunt. He was sure to very slowly massage your clit with one of his fingers. His member rubbed against your bare ass, making you whimper.

Goo was a flirty man, the way he touched your body like it was his last day, but he took his sweet time enjoying you. He really fucking loved it

His slow, but teasing movements made you let out all your suppressed slutty moans. All which you wish nobody else would hear.

"Since you're being such a good girl, let's reward you mhm~?

He took off his pants, revealing his hard cock.

He picked you up and laid you down on the table nearby, your legs wrapped around his torso as he slid inside you without giving you a second to adjust, making you moan out loud.

"F-fuck.. Ngh it's too big.." You felt weak, so weak in front of his cock. It could undoubtedly obliterate your insides. And just the thought of it made you throb even harder than before.

"Shhh I know you can take it"

He caressed your forehead gently, slowly thrusting into your pussy. Now you could really make out he was a very experienced man.

You held an intense eye contact with the blonde. he started to thrust into you faster, you struggled to take him in at this point, but to him your struggle was quite an entertainment.

"Aww~ Can't take me?"

Fuck you didn't want to admit it, but you were downright and completely dominated by him. You were a woman who naturally didn't like submitting to a man, being under his rule, giving in into their control. You hated it, but the fact that you were letting a man you only met for a few days fuck the daylights out of you was improbable.

~~

Goo grinned at you, your poor attempt to take him in. This sight of you might had just become his favourite.

"Fuck..fuck you look so goddam pretty when you're struggling like that"

He placed your legs on his shoulder, adjusting himself even deeper inside of you, he brought himself even closer to you, hitting your sweet spot even harder, grinding himself deep inside of you.

"Fuck do you like that? Yeah?"

You moaned loudly, throwing your head back at the speed of his gruesome thrusts. Your brain was completely lost in the pleasure of this building orgasm.

"Ah..f..fuck b-bouta cum" you whimpered, he kissed your collarbone, gently sucking on your breasts, your supple nipples, his tongue moving around in circular motions, you felt so dizzy and so sensitive.

"Aha? Yeah? cum on my cock princess, come on you can do it"

His hips moved even faster than before, the table started making a creaking sound, added to this was the sound of your skin slapping and the wet noises your pussy made. The room ringed with such lewd noises, but this all never really mattered, you wanted to cum.

"So close hah.."

Fuck, the fact he moaned pretty, his moans were like music, not all men moan like this.

And then you came, legs trembling in the extreme pleasure. You tried to muffle your moans with your hands but still they were loud enough for everyone to hear.

And it didn't take him long to cum too, hot thick cum filling your insides to the brim, he held you in his arms, kissing you, your neck, your ears, Everything.

So it was all over... Or was it?-

"Ah Ah Princess, I'm not done with you yet~"

~~~~~~~

(OMG I was so nervous writing this I hope you guys enjoyed it even though it's half baked, reblogs and likes are appreciated, thankyou so much <33 ~ Kira)

[lemmetreatya]

home for new years — husband!reiner x fem!reader

contents: fluff, sex, m!pen

happy new years to everyone!! last fic for the year but not the last from me! the last 4 months on here have been great and i cant wait to see what 2023 brings us! thank you to everyone whos supported me and my work so far i love u all MWAH! 🫶🏾🫶🏾

home for new years will have you declining invitations and calls from your friends who are asking both you and reiner to back the nye party sasha and niccolo are hosting.

“i’m sorry, sash! not this year. me and reiner already planned to just have a night in between the both of us.”

“but you can come and spend it together with us!” she’d whine into the receiver.

you could only chuckle at her. even though she may have come across as invasive or unregarding of the quality time you’ve decided to dedicate to spend with your spouse, you knew she came from a place of love.

sasha wasnt the only one. both of your respective messages were blowing up; relatives who lived in different countries already wishing you the new years well due to their forward timezones, friends asking about the motives and misc notifications.

none of them, however, were as adamant as reiner’s younger cousin.

“why cant i spend new years with you two?! if you’re only staying home then that means you’re not doing anything important.” gabi moaned.

“what we want to do is important enough that we dont need you around. we literally spent christmas eve, christmas day and even boxing day with you, isnt that enough?” your husband responded.

reiner was definitely tired of gabis back and forth notion that she practically needed to be in your hair on all seasonal events. even though he was too kind to say it to her face, he definitely made it known to you through the agitated expressions he occasionally made behind her back.

“no, it’s not enough! there’s no reason for you not to see me if you’re free.” she haggled.

reiner sighed loudly. you could tell that he was tapping out from the argument as from the way he rested his head against the sofa back.

seeing him no longer want to entertain his cousin, you decided to step in. with an easy smile, you replied to her instead.

“just because we’re staying home it doesn’t mean we’re free.”

she didn’t say anything but she definitely considered your argument a lot easier than she did reiner’s. reiner always said she listened to you better.

“if it makes for anything, we can spend new years day together?” you kindly offered.

gabi huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest and bounced herself onto the couch.

“that’s such a cheap excuse. no one does anything on new years. it’s a free holiday. you wouldn’t be sacrificing anything to be with me, you guys don’t even go nowhere. i am literally the only fun in your lives.”

even though you were surprised at her level of rebuttal, you couldn’t help but laugh aloud at the twelve year olds words. whilst you and reiner may not be the childless lavish-life living adults she wanted you to be, she still seemed to want to spend every waking moment with you both.

but alas, you and reiner were okay with that life for now because it meant you had room to spend new years at home.

you didn’t have to worry about childcare expenses or who was willing to have your kin on a holidays like this. you didn’t even have to worry about answering to anyone for anything. you both had the night to spend it within each other and that alone was the reason you were fine with how things were.

“i’m really happy we’re spending new years like this.”

reiner placed the last platter down onto the coffee, the look on his face giddy as sat down next to you.

“same. i feel like we don’t get to spend a lot of our holidays with it just being the two of us. it’s a nice change.” you replied, fingers already sneaking into one of the snacks.

reiner’s arms found solace over your shoulders, his warmth already seeping into you as you pressed play on the remote which started up the movie.

“we should deffo do it more often then.”

he said more quietly due to his awareness of the movie starting. still, looking down at you, reiner couldn’t help but plant a closed mouth kiss to your temple.

“deffo.” you agreed, your attention already captivated with the movie introduction.

there was no doubt; reiner would definitely treasure this new years.

throughout the year, the two of you were always so busy. if it wasn’t work then it was extra-curricular commitments and even in between those times, the both of you were deeply involved with the lives of your family and friends.

deciding to simply spend it with just the two of you was a well curated decision. really and truly, the both of you could have spared yourselves once again and indulged with the lives of others.

but deciding to chose each other just this once was the best decision you could have ever made.

“god, i love you so much.”

reiner endearingly muttered into your ears as he pumped himself in and out of you. the soft whimpers you poured out into his were just as sweet as your arms hooked around his neck.

“i-love you too, rei.” you breathed, the feeling of his dick stretching your insides so familiar yet estactic.

and oh how you did love this man because when he first offered for the both of you to ditch all new year plans just so he could spend it with you, in you, you couldn’t help but to allow him what he wished.

making love to reiner in the most enchanting low light and soft candle glow was such a way to go into the new years.

rough and lustful sex had its place and it was definitely one of your favourite past times with reiner. but there was none of that right now. there was no biting, rough handling, guttural or carnal intent, nothing.

just you and reiner underneath the blankets, vulnerable and opened for the other to indulge in.

and you loved that, because this, was how you wanted to spend new years. with reiner, and totally enamoured by him.

and just as the neighbouring fireworks bursted outside your bedroom window, and your phones simultaneously buzzed with texts, you couldn’t think of a better way to go into the next age but within his arms.

with the indication that you had been graced into a new year, the both of you wispily smiled into the others embrace.

reiner continued to chase his climax as he lightly kissed the top of your shoulder, his face then burying into the crook of your neck

“ha-happy new year, baby.” he said with a grin, his hands still working over your curves beneath the duvet.

“happy…new year to you too, rei.” you muttered back, your hands gently caressing the short bristled hairs on the back of his neck.

[iron-galliant]

Popping in as well regarding the whole SL and DCA thing, and honestly, the op really does not like the DCA fandom as a whole it seems (poked through their talking tag out of curiosity). Like I get being annoyed that the general fnaf tag has a lot of content regarding them, but blocking tags exist for a reason. It's possible to curate your space, and complaining about it often doesn't exactly do you any good and just ends up making you more miserable.

I'll acknowledge that yeah there's been some yikes content created of them, just like any fandom has, some stemming from folks that either don't know better or others that would probably get thrown out by a majority of the fandom. But even then that content is a minority, and fandoms all have their small segments of people that create and post iffy content, doesn't mean the entire fandom enjoys/does that.

Some of their points do make me wonder if they actually fully looked into the story and its content and how some stuff is handled. A majority of the stuff in it stems from the virus, which is infecting everyone. And some of the stuff they brought up was simply memes that weren't meant to be serious and just shitposty.

Maybe it's just because the DCA and content around them is a huge comfort for me and skews my view on stuff, but OP's whole post just rubs me the wrong way. Calling someone a weirdo and ableist in public without contacting the person first to have a discussion just isn't a good move. Even if they couldn't message via tumblr, asks do exist and can be utilized if you're respectful.

Anyways, don't feel like you need to respond to this especially if it'd be stressful or anything like that, I just wanted to share my thoughts!

Tumblr didnt register my reply the first time but what it boiled down to is yeah you're right, and I really hate being lumped into a group like that as someone WITH a disassociative disorder like. Dude if you have it then you should know better than anyone that people are not their mental illnesses

I do have Autism and the DCA is a huge comfort character for me, I think that they didnt read the fic and theyre probably upset the most popular fnaf thing isnt for their character? And I get that but you can always block the tag

Also calling people names is kinda uncalled for. Go outside and feel some sunshine, dont make a callout post full of lies for attention

Ill probably block them after today and go back to reading fics and writing mine in peace tbh? Im not too big on getting involved in drama but this one genuinely upset me since the DCA fandom is really nice to people

[belltaviasbff]

I'm replying to you!...... I applaud your enthusiasm for the Moroccan soccer team........ I don't even mind your pro-Palestinian politics. As long as you keep it on your own Tumblr page where you can be whoever you want to be............ but Soap, isn't you....... she is a Tumblr about the British Royal Family............. and she has ALOT of followers from the West, from America......... and presumably she is making a living off her Tumblr page and all the people who come to it to check in on the latest Harry & Meghan games and the ins-n-outs of British Royal Family Loyalty and/or treachery............... and you just manipulated her with your pro-Morrocco World Cup Post into nuking her with your Palestinian/Israeli Political post............. she is Turkish, and Moslem, but her Tumblr is about the BRF............. and you made it an unsafe place where alot of Western viewers who wondered if we didn't want to kill our relationship with Soap......... and that is so wrong. Soap is a really nice person, and she didn't deserve any of what you set in motion on her site (which again is about the BRF)........... I'm American, and I'm not ever going to agree with you about the Palestinian Conflict (although alot of Americans will agree with you, beside the point) , and that's ok.... I'm not subscribing to your Trumblr. I don't want to talk to you about Palestine and Israel...... you can go on-and-on-and on about Palestine on your Tumblr page........... and I just do not care..... your Tumblr, your thing.............. just don't throw your shade on a really nice lady (Soap) on HER Tumblr, which isn't about anything political and make her have to deal with the fallout of the nuke you dropped on her............. that is just garbage.

whew. first of all i was confused for a while about who “soap” is and what this has to do with me…i had to dig into the notes of my post to find an account that resembles that name so thank you for that absolute lack of context!

now that i know what you’re talking about, i don’t think I have anything to apologise for. i dont choose every person who likes it or reblogs it or hates it or loves it. the tumblr you’re referring to reblogged my post on their own choice - i have never come into contact with them less still heard about them. it makes no sense - am i meant to take responsibility for not only my post and my audience, but everyone who reblogs it and their audience too?

this account you’re talking about put my post on their page of their own free will. i can deal with people having a problem with me on my blog but you can’t accuse me of ruining someone else’s blog because they chose to put my content there. if you don’t have a problem with me posting whatever i want (thank you for your permission by the way), then you should take it up with the account who reblogged it and maybe ask them why they did it. maybe the person behind that account is in fact a pro-palestinian and you should start having problems with them too.

i’m also offended by this accusation of “manipulation” but on the other hand i’m really not because it makes no sense. and the fact that you consider my palestine post to be “unsafe” for western viewers is laughable. are they really that fragile? they don’t need protecting.

anyways i sincerely hope this was a massive misunderstanding because i cannot wrap my head around the fact that someone else’s choice to agree with something i said is causing problems that i have to deal with. i will make sure to contact that account and sort something out with them nonetheless.

also you spelt muslim in a horrible way and it’s football not soccer :) have a good day.

[rieamy]

Dear diary, i found someone. He treats me so well, like a princess/ queen in fact. Spoils me, jokes insanely with me. It’s been a month since i know him. What’s more insane is i took my time to fall in love. It’s not at 100% in love yet but it’s increasing daily and tbh it’s more than i could ask for. Contented. Happy. I went lowkey this time, not even posting anything on my close friend list on ig much about this person.

I waited 2 years for Adil to come around. I even wished him last year, April 20. Not even a reply. Not even a thank you. From there i knew it would be a fat hope for him to wish me back. Well, it would be dumb for me to wish him again in 2023. I didn’t wish, obviously. I knew i needed to move on, dated here and there but i was just searching for the love & connection i had w him.

It’s insane bc before im dating the current guy rn, i did went out w this other person. I always thought i was ready for a rs, but when i went on a date w this person, i realise rs is so overwhelming, suffocating and instantly i felt the need to run away. In my mind i told myself, maybe I’m still not ready yet. I should just make friends, go on casual dates etc. About a month plus later, then i went on Muzz and tada, it lead me to my current date hehe.

I kenal him around mid july. Tbh i wanted to cut ties after the first meet up. I felt like he’s way too nice for my liking, too gentlemen & also i dont dig guys w facial hair. Hard to kiss if you know what i mean. Plus ive always preferred dating guys w a bike instead of a car (idk maybe i grew up w a dad that rides sports bike). But i realise he’s nice and i should give him a chance la kan. Mhmm next thing i know I’m going out w him every few days. Well, I don’t want to talk much since it’s still in the early stages. Let me just add on with the fact that I’m a cancer ♋️ and he is an aries ♈️. I really dk how we stand each other. In zodiac, we’re not meant to last 😂. Dk maybe cause im a water sign but i have a lot of air element. Maybe thats why it’s going ok? Well, we will see where this goes.

[astralaffairs]

Did u make a part 2 for the John Laurens thing or do I still have to wait?

damn anon i just published part 1 today 😔✌ setting unrealistic expectations for women 🤧🤧

mostly im joking, but in all seriousness, part 2 isn't out yet, and it isnt currently my priority. ill probably carve out some time in the next couple of days to write it, but please be patient -- this blog isn't the only thing i have going on in my life, and even if it were, i have quite a few projects other than 280 characters going as well.

[xgryffinwhore]

september nights

request:  i was wondering if you could write another soft bill smut? i don’t really have a specific plot in mind, we’re just really lacking content on tumblr rn :( in some really precarious place where they don’t want to get caught

warnings: soft smut, like i mean very soft.

word count: 2118

before your lips met bill denbrough’s, love was always, to say the least, a conundrum. lets be real for second, boys wasted your time, and you let them. only the cute ones of course. you are a hopeless romantic, drunk off of molly ringwald and john travolta films. you wanted any relationship you had to be just like the movies.

through your heart breaks, your best friends stood by you, your losers. eddie, richie, bev, stan, ben, and bill. for each tear you shed a punch was thrown to the man who caused it, they were protective over you. bill the most though, he always got so defensive when you were in the mix. all throughout middle & high school, bill has had to deal with every guy who even dares to think about breaking your heart.

“its not fair bill” you wailed into your pillow. he stroked your back and hushed you, his eyes welling with tears. “im never fucking good enough for any guy and its so fucking sad!” your complaints being cut off mid sentence by a choked out cry. “y-y/n. all of y-your boyfriend are i-idiots. anyone w-who would d-d-do this to you isnt w-worth your t-time. anyone w-would be the luckiest in the w-world to have y-you in their life” you picked your head up and looked at him with swollen lips and blood shot eyes “there no one out there for me bill, no one.” 

he bit his lip, fighting back any tears dripping from his eyes “they j-just dont see how p-pretty you are. how g-gentle and caring and s-s-sweet, and h-how your face c-can light up any room. theyre f-fucking idiots, and you d-deserve m-more.” you clearly thought he was being nice, because you could take a MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN hint, so you replied “i wish there was someone out there like you, for me, that thinks of me the way you do.” 

he furrowed his brows, tossing his head back and running his fingers furiously through his hair. “d-dammit y/n!” he cursed “cant you s-see what ive b-been trying to say? w-w-what ive been t-trying to say f-for the last f-five years!?!” your expression was bewildered, your brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what he meant. his frustration got the best of him, he got up and stormed out the door,  feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to make you understand how he felt.

he was half way out your front door, fuming for his keys lodged deep into his front pocket; when suddenly:

“bill!”

his head turned at the call of his name, “y-y/n please i d-”

smack.

your lips locked with his, he rain pouring heavily outside. bills lips stilled at the contact, but this lasted briefly, he deepened this kiss by pulling you in to his abdomen by your mid back. your bunched the front of his base ball t shirt with your fists, and he did the same but with your hair.

the rest is basically history.

now six months later, and you couldnt have been happier. bill knew how to treat you, nights out twice a week (you always wanted to pay but bill insisted,) holding your hand to and from classes, he let you borrow have his varsity baseball jacket, which smelt just like him and was a little too big for you. 

when he would drop you off and your classes, he would always grab your hand and transfer a tiny piece of paper into your palm. when you got into class to unfold it, it was always a cute little message about his love for you. 

bill had it bad for you, everyone knew that, and you loved every minute of it. he met every and any standard you had, and exceeded your expectations. 

it was september, still warm enough in derry to wear shorts, so you and your friends thought of a last hurrah for the ending of the summery weather.

“camp out, its nearly perfect” Richie exclaimed. eddie rolled his eyes “like youve ever been near anything perfect toizer, do you even know what perfect means?” richie shoved eddie “yeah eddie i actually have. have you seen amanda’s tits?”

 you tuned out richie and eddies bickering as you’re boyfriend cleared his throat. “you g-gonna go?” he said into your ear, “only if you promise to wear bug spray bill, you know how bad-” he cut you off with a kiss, his mouth forming a small smile at how cute you were. “get a room, honestly” stan poked, pda wasn’t his favorite... “at least i h-have something to k-kiss aye s-stannie”

you arrived at the edge of the forest, parking your car at the last parking ish space. you walked toward the sounds of ben and richie fighting, and came to see that richie really went all out. three tents, sticks for a fire, and more snacks than anyone needed. 

you all spent the remanence of the daylight dancing in the light sky, sharing stories, and eating waaaay too many chips. it was dark now, you all huddled in a circle near the fire; making small talk and trying not to admit you were all very tired.

“ok folks, im off to bed” richie yawned “me stan eddie n’ mike will take the green tent, bev and ben in the red.” richie paused and smirked over at you and bill, you were tangled in his limbs, golfed in his navy blue pull over. “and uh- heh- billy boy and y/n in the yellow tent eh?” you could practically feel bills eye roll, god richie was so immature.

“w-we dont have to s-sleep in the s-s-same tent, i c-can ask ben if he’d s-switch” you look up at bill and reassure him “bill no- its not a big deal, right?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your temple “c-course not.”

you both went into the tent, bill began to unroll the blankets you both had packed tightly into your bags. You both set up your makeshift bed, bill leaned against a pile of pillows while you hugged his side, your face buried in his neck. his smell was absolutely intoxicating; his skin had remanence of his milk and honey body wash, but it was slightly overpowered by wintergreen, clove, and his bourbon cologne. 

you were like this for around an hour, the orange crank-powered lantern being the only source of light. you switch positions though, you now laid your head on his lap, reading a magazine you stole from the hair salon. he watched your eyes scan every letter, when you read something funny you’d huff to yourself, and when something was intresting you stuck your tongue out from between your teeth. he adored you.

“d-dont stay up t-too late” he stroked your hair off your shoulder “we have t-to have you w-well r-r-rested.” you sat up from beside him, as he adjusted the pillows and took off his pull over, then his pants. he got under the covers and waited for you.

“nice donut boxers” you laughed. “s-shut up” he blushed and regreted not changing them when he had the chance. you turned around took off your shirt, you were shy about how you looked, but it was just bill. it was just bill. you heard his breath hitch, his eagerness radiating off his body onto yours. the air became tense as you unzipped your pants and threw them to the corner. you turned around, bills pupils growing until you were completely facing him.

“yeah i know. mine are boring” you laugh nervously, brushing your hair behind your ear and getting under the covers next to him. he didnt respond, he couldnt take his eyes off of you.you began to sit up again “i can go put back on-” “n-no!” he interrupts, his blush taking up his entire face.

“i j-j-just cant b-believe i g-get to see something s-so special” he gulped “s-so b-b-b-beautiful.”

you grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him, hard. youve been with boys before, i mean youve dated plenty of people. but no one ever called your body special. hot, yeah. nice, yeah. beautiful, sure. but no one ever thought that it was special. 

bill was a kind boy, the most you two have ever done is get each other off with your hands, always clothed. bill never asked to see more, he felt lucky enough just to make you feel good, and that was enough for him. so when you felt the heat of his hands hovering over your body but not touching it, you new you’d have to call the shots tonight.

“bill,” you laid down “just touch me everywhere, please.” he crawled in between your legs, kneeling so that he could lean over your face “m-my pleasure.”

he traced your collar, leaving small, delicate, kisses to make up for what his fingers left behind as they trailed. he kissed the valley between your breasts, licking slow striped down your skin. he picked up your upper back a little and cocked his head to the side, you nodded and he unclipped your bra. he sat their with his mouth open, taking in the view. you blushed and muttered “hey, keep that mouth to good use.” he dipped down and sucked on your nipples, his mouth felt so good against your skin grazed with goosebumps. he was gingerly with his tongue, it was sexy, it was romantic. he kissed down your stomach, his fingers sweeping down your sides. you could see his member pressing against his boxers, the pressure made him wince every once in a while. his fingers met your panties and he hooked them. again, he looked up for permission, you nodded once again. 

he brought your underwear down your legs and off, looking back to see what he had relieved. he licked his lips, getting ready to please you more than he already did. but you felt bad, bill always gave gave and gave. “its ok, im ready right now.” bill looked up at you in shock, he wasnt expecting you’d want to go all the way. “y/n, y-youre sure?” you lean up and kiss his lips, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip “please.”

he pulled down his boxers eagerly, his member sprung out to hit his stomach. he lined up with you, checking once more that it was ok. then he pushed in, bottoming out. he felt bigger than you thought, of course he was well endowed, but he filled you up so well. you mewled, the pain and pleasure making a delicious feeling that made your toes curl.

he waited, but began slowly moving after a bit. he grunted, feeling you wrapped around him was something he’d never be able to get out of his head he thought to himself. he grunted “f-fuck this feels g-good’ he grunted, his breath becoming heavy and full of lust. with every stroke, you felt yourself get more and more lost in the bliss he made you feel. “youre making me feel so good  bill” you moan, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth driving him absolutely crazy. he speeds up, loving the view of your face contorting in pleasure and your body moving with his. 

he couldnt help but feel admiration to you, your hair formed a halo around your head, and the sweat that coated your skin made you glisten in the orange light. “im t-the luckiest in the world” he husks, holding your cheek. 

you felt the knot in your core coming undone, “bill im close” you strain, trying not to be too loud so you dont wake your friends. he moved your leg up to his shoulder, hitting you from a different, deeper angle. his fingers went to your clit, making you bite your had to stop you from screaming. “you l-look so p-pretty y/n, t-taking me s-so well. making y-you feel so good.” “so good bill” you repeat, drunken off his cock and fingers. 

without warning, you came came, your legs spazzing as you moaned “fuck bill” he followed, his hips stuttering, as he cried out into your shoulder. he pulled out and laid next to you, both of you breathing heavily and coming off your highs. 

“y/n” he looked at you “t-that was really j-just wow- thank y-you.” you kissed him, chaste and sweet “that was great yeah?” “it w-was perfect babe. t-thank you f-for t-that. i love you y-y/n.”

“i love you too bill.”

he sat up, his fingers dancing on your inner thigh.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“c-can we p-please do t-that again?”

[caelesjjk]

all at once | kth

Summary: you’ve never been one to judge a book by its cover, so when you found yourself falling for the local mechanic, his job had never made you think less of him. But maybe he didn’t feel the same.

pairing: mechanic!Taehyung x female reader

rating: 18+

genre: kind of strangers to lovers, dumbasses to lovers, fluff, little angst, smut

warnings: Tae gets upset with himself, reader gets upset a few times, mention of drinking alcohol

explicit sexual content: tae does quite a bit of dirty talk and reader LOVES it, slight handjob?, Tae eats her out, car sex, unprotected sex (Dont do that babes), lots and lots of kissing

word count: 4.6k

a/n: so…this is my first fic post for BTS, and I never thought it would be Tae but he fit so good. This idea was originally for a 5sos fic I wrote but turning it Tae was the best thing ever. This is also pretty short but will have a part 2 to bring everything together, I’m usually a very long winded bitch but I wanted to get something out there. I hope you like it, pleeeease let me know thoughts on it. It would mean so much.

*************************************************

This was never meant to happen. You were never supposed to fall in love with him. It was just supposed to be one silly date. A date that you never expected to go well. In fact, you fully expected to leave half way through the night and take a cab home. But, that wasn’t the case at all.

Taehyung was persistent. He saw you walk into his mechanic shop and knew that he needed you in his life immediately. He was covered in grime and grease that day, and you were in a black pencil skirt that clung to the curves of your hips and ass so perfectly he could feel himself getting hard beneath his dirty jeans. Your heels clicked across the concrete floor in a rush as you yelled into the shop for someone to help you out.

“How can I help you, miss?” Taehyung said, wiping his hands on a rag that was already too dirty to help anything.

“My car.” You sniffled a little. “My car won’t start. It was making noises, so I pulled over and now it won’t start at all and I’ve got to be at the airport soon.” The look on your face was desperate. Taehyung nodded, hopping into the tow truck and patting the seat next to him for you to get in.

You got in the truck with reluctance, considering its heavy layers of grease and dirt. You gave him directions to your car, which was about a mile down the road. By the time Taehyung had your car towed back to the garage with the hood popped open, it was getting dangerously close to time for you to be at the airport.

“So can you fix it?” You asked, biting at the nail on your pointer finger.

“It needs a new timing belt, I can order the part but it won’t be here until morning.” Taehyung explains with sympathy in his voice. You feel your stomach drop, knowing that you’ll miss your flight.

“I um…I need make a phone call.” You can feel tears of frustration start to form in your eyes.

After calling your boss to let him know what was going on, you were pleasantly surprised that he wasn’t upset at all. He told you to grab a hotel room and you could skype into the meeting he was going to be attending. You were so relieved.

“Everything okay?” Taehyung asked when you came back into the garage.

“Surprisingly, yes.” You gave him a small smile. “I’m Y/N by the way.” You take a few more steps towards him to shake his hand.

“Taehyung.” He replies, wiping off his hands on his jeans again before taking your hand.

“Could I possibly trouble you for a ride to the nearest hotel?” You asked, biting softly into your bottom lip. Taehyung could barely keep himself from grabbing your face and kissing you right there.

“Yeah. I mean I could. If you agree to get a coffee with me later?” He looks down at his dirty boots before meeting your eyes again. You look confused.

“You want to get coffee with me?” Your eyebrows scrunched together adorably.

“If you’d like.” He says, a smoldering smile settling on his lips.

“Yeah…I guess I could do that.” You don’t know why you hadn’t noticed how gorgeous he was before now. Messy dark curls on his head and perfectly shaped lips that pulled back into the most stunning smile you’d ever seen. The golden hued skin of his arms covered deliciously perfect muscles. You were in trouble.

“Great. Lemme give you that ride.” He opens the door to his tow truck again, letting you hop in on shaky feet.

He pointed out a small coffee shop across the street from the hotel he dropped you off at. You told him you could meet him there around 7 and he had quickly agreed, not wanting you to change your mind.

When the time came for you to meet him, you were afraid you had made a mistake. You didn’t know him. He was a gloriously hot mechanic that could definitely break your heart, and you just didn’t have the time in your life for anything like that. You were almost positive that he would just forget about you and move on with his life when you hadn’t shown up at 7. You were sitting in the middle of your hotel bed surrounded by paperwork to keep you distracted, looking down at your laptop clock to see it was now 8:00pm, just as a soft knock sounds on your door. You quickly wrap your robe around your body and look through the peak hole to see Taehyung standing there, hands in the pockets of his black jeans.

You take a deep breath, opening the door just enough to see him.

“Did you lose track of time?” Taehyung asks, looking a bit disappointed.

“Um…yes…I mean no, that was a lie. I just, couldn’t come.” You look down to hide your guilt.

“Did I do something to offend you?” He asks.

“No. Not at all. I’m just a really busy person, Taehyung. I can’t get into something like this right now.” You open the door a little more as you explain, and Taehyung’s eyes immediately wander down to the exposed skin of your legs before he quickly looks back up at you.

“It’s just a coffee, Y/N. No strings attached.” Taehyung’s hands slide into the front pockets of his now clean black jeans. His black sweater clings to his chest perfectly and exposes his collarbones just enough to make you crazy.

“Just coffee?” You repeat, and he nods his head. “Well do you mind just having a shitty cup of coffee from the coffee maker in here? I’m already in my pajamas.” You open the door completely, inviting him to enter if he wants.

“Who doesn’t love a cup of hotel room coffee?” He smiles, before stepping into the room and looking around at all the cheesy hotel room decor.

You talk for hours. Ending up with a 12 pack of beer to share between you instead of that questionable coffee. Taehyung starts out in the chair across the room, but as the night progresses, he’s migrated to the bed where you’ve been sitting most of the night. You enjoy his company, far more than you should. You are mesmerized by his smile and his goofy laugh. You want hear it over and over again. You’re already in too deep.

He finally decided to call it a night at 4:00am, saying he needed to go home and shower before work, where he had to be at 5:30am. You felt horrible for keeping him so late.

“I didn’t realize it was so late…or so early.” You say, walking him to the door.

“Neither did I. And I don’t regret a single minute of it.” He wets his lips with his tongue as he stands in the doorway, watching your face carefully.

“You’ll call me when the car is finished?” You ask, trying to forget how much you wanted his lips on your skin.

“Of course. Night, Y/N.” He smiles once more before he turns to start walking to his truck. You close the door, pressing your back against it and closing your eyes so you can breathe again. But before you can even catch your breath, there’s a knock on the door. You flip around and open it too quickly, too desperately.

“Taehyung.” You say with too much urgency in your voice. You wanted it to be him more than anything.

“Do you want to get dinner tomorrow night? I um…I really want to see you again.” He looks so utterly perfect as he nervously scuffs his shoe against the pavement.

“Yes.” You breathe.

“Could I also…kiss you?” Taehyung steps into your space, his scent taking over everything. You can’t seem to find your voice, but nod your head yes, because you have been wanting to be kissed by this man all night.

“I want to hear you say it. Tell me you want me to kiss you.” One of his hands has made its way to cup your cheek, his thumb caressing along your jaw.

“I want you to kiss me…please.” Your body is practically vibrating with want and your breath comes out shaky when you feel his nose brush against yours.

“So polite…so beautiful.” The last word is breathed into your mouth just before he closes that space and your lips finally meet.

It was so gentle and sweet. His mouth tasted like a mix of the cheap beer and the cherry chapstick he had been applying all night. It was perfect. Taehyung held you tightly against his lean body, your arms snaking around his waist. Your neck was craned back, his towering form making this type of kiss feel even better.

You were the first to press your tongue against his lips, making him smile against your mouth before he gave you what you wanted, licking into your mouth so slowly and languidly. It felt like being drunk, breathing in this man. When your hands started fisting into the back of his sweater, your mind clouding with lust and wanting to pull him back into the room and not let him leave, Taehyung pulled back from your lips, your own chasing after his and making him laugh quietly.

“I’ll see you for dinner tomorrow, Y/N.” He pecked your lips several more times when you started whining.

“See you tomorrow.” You reigned in your hormones and let him finally leave to get ready for work.

There were plenty of dinners after that. There were breakfasts and lunches. There was a street fair. There were walks around the park. And there were many, many nights of you sitting in his garage watching him work that ended up in heavy make out sessions. It had been two months, and you were irrevocably in love with him. No matter how much you tried to pretend it wasn’t that, you knew it was.

Taehyung was the most considerate person you’d ever met. Rough around the edges but he had the biggest heart. He always made sure you were comfortable, always made sure you got everything you wanted. He talked with you on the phone for hours sometimes when the two of you be in the same place. He respected you and your crazy schedule.

He had recently taken to sending you very scandalous pictures when you were stuck in a long meeting. You pretended to hate it but you didn’t, not even a little. He was so beautiful you had a hard time convincing yourself that he was real.

Tonight was one of those nights you had your way to his garage. You were perched on one of the tall chairs Taehyung had, while he was leaning over the engine of a car, making sure he had everything put back together correctly. Your hair was swept up into a messy bun, and your legs were covered in a very comfy pair of black leggings. You were comfortable here now and you wanted him to know that.

“How could you possibly like vanilla ice cream better than chocolate?” You say, leaning forward on the stool to see his face better.

“Because vanilla is better, baby.” He leans up just enough to smile at you before hunching back over the car motor. Your heart tried to pound out of your chest every time he called you that. It was something recent he started saying, and it would be an absolute lie if you said you didn’t love it.

“When will you be finished?” You whined a little, wanting his attention.

“Are you getting impatient?” He said, not looking up.

“Very.” You squirmed a little on your seat, hoping he would give you what you wanted, which was his sweet lips against yours. Kissing Taehyung was better than any other kiss you had ever experienced. It was never rushed and always just the right amount of everything. You hear him laugh softly as he stands up, grabbing a rag from the tall tool box next to him and wiping his hands.

“And just what should I be doing instead?” He asks, slowly taking a few steps towards you. You cross your legs to keep the ache at bay. He looked like he could absolutely destroy you, and you would gladly allow it to happen.

“I can think of a few things.” You try to be sultry, but you’re positive you sound like an idiot. Taehyung hums, tossing the rag at the old sink.

He closes the gap between the two of you, hooking his hand under your knee so he can uncross your legs and step between them and snugly press himself completely against you. Your hands instinctively slide up the muscular terrain of his arms until they reach his neck, where your fingers lace into the curls that got so messy throughout his day of work. His forehead drops down to yours and his nose skims yours. His lips are so close to yours that you can feel his breath. You skim your nose against his and over his pink tinted cheek, and back over his nose again. Taehyung’s hands find your hips, pulling them forward slightly so that your ass is just barely on the edge of the chair. Your legs slide up the back of his thighs until they’re locked around his waist. The rough and over worked pads of his fingers slide down your thighs and back to your waist.

“Tell me what you want, baby.” His lips are at your ear, just barely grazing the skin there. Your body is mush under his touch, and your breath shudders when he pulls your ear lobe between his teeth.

“I want you so badly.” Your words are scratchy and desperate. Taehyung smiles against the skin of your neck, where he kisses and licks until he’s leaving a burning path back to your lips, finally kissing you like you had wanted from the beginning.

“I would do anything you wanted me to.” He breathes against your lips, sliding his tongue into your mouth when it falls open from desire.

Your hands leave his curls and slide down to the hem of his white t-shirt, pushing it up until he grabs at it and pulls it over his head. You immediately bring your lips to his skin, kissing his soft stomach and chest that are now exposed to you at eye level. When your tongue brushes over one of his nipples, it’s like something ignites inside him and he’s grabbing the globes of your ass and lifting you off the stool. You wrap your arms back around his neck, opening your eyes to see him looking back at you.

“Taehyung…” You say.

“I know, baby. I know what you need.” He carries you from the chair you were sitting on over to the hood of the classic car he had been restoring in his spare time. The cold metal of the car blankets your skin in goosebumps as the beautiful man in front of you drinks in the way you look laying across the hood of his car. You tried to use your feet to pull him back down to you but he continued to look at you like you were the most stunning creature he had ever laid his eyes on. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He says, his hands pushing your knees apart.

“Me or the car?” You tease with a genuine smile on your face.

“Mmm, I don’t need the car. But I most certainly need to be inside of you.” He leans over your body pushing up the material of your shirt so he can flatten his tongue against your skin, licking a path from your belly button to the valley between your breasts. You can’t contain the moan that escapes you.

“Please don’t tease me, Tae.” You bite your bottom lip to hold back another moan.

“I wanted this to be so much more romantic the first time it happened.” He breathed as you lifted your arms above your head, letting him pull your shirt over your head and expose your bare chest to him.

“I don’t need big romantic gestures, I just need you.” You cup his cheeks and angle his face up so that he can look at you.

“You’re fucking perfect. Every fucking inch of you.” He groans, taking one of your nipples between his sweet lips. You bite into your bottom lip, but the more he sucks at your nub of nerves the harder it is to hold in the sinful noises.

“Tae…please.” You beg, needing him to give you the release you craved.

“It is taking every ounce of restraint that I have not to rip these leggings off your perfect body and fuck you senseless. But I want more than that from you.” He leaves wet kisses down the center of your torso as he moves down your body.

“What else do you want?” Your body arches off the car hood a little when his tongue circles your navel.

“I want to taste you. I want to make you feel so fucking good.” His dirty words are making the wetness between your legs unbearable.

“Get them off.” You pull at the band of your leggings, trying to pull them down. But his hands come over yours.

“I’ve got you, beautiful.” He says, pulling the thin material off of your hips and slowly down your legs.

He wraps his long fingers around your ankle, bringing it up to his lips so he can pepper kisses from there to your calf. You watch in awe as he continues kissing up your leg to the inside of your thigh. He looks up at you with lust and hunger in his eyes. You’re practically dripping with the anticipation of his swollen lips wrapping perfectly around your clit.

“I need you to touch me.” You whine.

“Show me where.” He kisses your soaking heat over the flimsy material of your underwear, causing another pathetic moan from you.

You don’t waste any more time, you are far too turned on to be shy at this point. Sliding one of your hands that was previously resting above your head down the center of your body and into the front of your underwear, you circle your aching clit with the tip of your finger. Even that small bit of contact makes your back arch off the hood of the car and your eyes to roll to the back of your head.

You open your heavy eyes long enough to see Taehyung watching you intently, the hard line of his cock in his jeans becoming more and more prominent. You want nothing more than to be on your knees in front of him with your lips wrapped around him completely while you let him fuck your mouth.

“Fuck, baby. I could cum just watching you.” He gets down on his knees so that he’s eye level with your heat, slowly reaching up and pushing your underwear to the side so that he can slip one of his long digits inside you.

You almost explode right there and then from the pleasure. You try to keep up the work on your clit while he’s sliding another finger in but your minstrations are becoming too sloppy. You take your hand away and sit up on your elbows to watch him work. He stands up, keeping his fingers buried deep inside you, petting at that perfect spot, and kisses you deeply.

“I’m gonna taste you now.” He says against your lips. You have never been so ready. He pecks your lips a few more times before ducking down between your legs again.

This time he hooks his fingers into your underwear and pulls them off. Grabbing your thighs in each hand, he slides you down the car so your ass is on the edge and your pussy is at the perfect height for him to taste. Before you can protest at how long it’s taking, Taehyung is licking just where you want him. Sucking in all the right places. Taking the time to turn his head and kiss your quaking thighs now and then. He has you a moaning and screaming mess in no time at all. Your fingers instinctively went into the curls on top his head, holding on for dear life as he continued the assault with his tongue and lips.

“Tae…Taehyung…m’ so close.” You can barely form a coherent sentence.

“Look at me when you do, baby.” He says it quickly, and goes back to sliding his tongue deep inside you and pinching your clit between his fingers. It was like a wave of complete and utter lust was washing over you as your orgasm hit you. It took all your strength to open your eyes and look down at Taehyung. He met your eyes and quickly stood up to kick off his jeans and boxers after you had cum all over his tongue, his chin was covered in your arousal and it was the hottest thing you’d ever seen.

Your head is swirling and your muscles ache from pleasure, but you can sense that Taehyung has picked you up but you aren’t sure if it’s actually happening or if it’s just a dream. When your eyes are able to focus again, you can see that he’s opened the door to the backseat of the car and he’s sliding into the seat with you straddling his thighs.

“I thought I was dreaming.” You say lazily, cupping his face and kissing his lips.

“I think I’m the one who’s dreaming, beautiful. Never thought someone like you would walk into my life and completely consume every part of it.” His hands slide up your back and into your hair angling your lips just how he wants them. “Ride me?” He asks next.

You use his shoulders to help lift your hips to hover above his hard length, so much bigger than you had thought it was. You can’t help wrapping your hand around him and pumping a few times, feeling how hot and heavy he is in your hand and the sounds he makes when you do were enough to make you dripping wet all over again. Taehyung gently pushes your hand away, groaning as he positions himself beneath you.

You slowly lower down onto him, the feeling of him stretching you out is the most pure pleasure you’ve ever felt. You feel his fingers digging into your hips as he tries to resist pulling you down onto him harder. And once your completely seated on his cock, and you feel his hips buck up just the slightest, you almost lose it completely. You bring your hands up to grip the headrest of the seat and bring your hips back up again. He’s so hard that you swear you can feel every vein petting at your wet walls.

“Oh, fuck Y/N. Baby, that’s so good.” Taehyung moans, his voice is deep and raspy. His rough hands are guiding your hips up and down as you start to swivel them each time you come down. You let your head fall back and the moans flow. When you begin to pick up the pace, Taehyung holds your body closer, and leans up so he can talk in your ear.

“You fit me like you were made for me, baby. So tight and perfect.” He rolls his hips up into your making you scream out his name. He kisses your shoulder and does it again, getting the same reaction. “Want to keep my cock buried in this pussy forever.”

“Tell me more, tell me how it feels.” You beg. You love his dirty words so much.

“Like heaven. So fucking wet, all for me.” He moans in your ear, causing your whole body to shiver and your pussy to clench around him. You know you’re getting so close again.

Taehyung grips his fingers into your ass and slams you down onto his cock, causing you to see stars. You feel yourself tighten around him, releasing your second orgasm of the night. You slump against him, your hands going back into his hair and holding on while he thrusts upwards to chase his high.

“You’re so good, babe. So so good. Please cum for me” You whisper in his ear to urge him on.

You sit up the slightest bit to watch his face as he reaches his orgasm. His swollen lips are parted and his breath is panting while his hips are sputtering. It doesn’t take much longer for him to release inside you, and for you to feel the hot liquid drip down the inside of your thighs. Taehyung gently takes your face in his hands, pushing some hair back from your eyes before he kisses you.

“Is now a bad time for me to tell you that I love you?” He smiles, eyes half closed with lust. You look at him a moment before answering.

“Never a bad time for that.” You smile at him and touch his shoulders.

“Will you say it back?” He sits up farther, holding you against him. Almost like he’s afraid you might run.

“Mmm, of course I love you, Kim Taehyung. Have for a while.” You confess.

“I want to tell you that every day.” He presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Then you should.” Your arms wrap around his neck.

“It would be much easier if you moved in with me.” He says, but you can tell he’s nervous about what he’s asked. And you honestly don’t know what to say. You live in the city 30 minutes away for work.

“Taehyung…I…” You start to say.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to answer now. Just think about it.” He kisses your lips quickly, before carefully moving you from his lap so that he can get up from the seat. You watch his gloriously naked body walk to the front of the car and grab your clothes for you.

“Thank you.” You smile at him, but the smile he gives back isn’t convincing. He quickly goes back to grab his pants and slips them on his long legs. You quickly throw on your clothes and while he has his back turned to you, you walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his torso.

“I’m sorry about all that.” He says. You can feel his voice vibrate through his back where your face is pressed.

“Please don’t be. I didn’t say no, did I?” You kiss a quick trail along his spine.

“No. But it was too much. The’ I love you’ was bad enough, but I asked you to move in with me after two months…such an idiot.” He takes one of your hands and gently pulls you around to face him, kissing the top of your hand and your wrist.

“It’s just a lot to think about. But I’m not upset that you asked me.” You try to meet his eyes but he still won’t.

“Yeah. I’ll um…I better close up here. Are you okay to get home?” He asks. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“I thought that I’d stay?” You asked.

“Not tonight, Y/N.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead before walking over and opening the door of the garage for you to walk out.

“Taehyung…whats going on?” You ask.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” He lets you get out the door before he closes it and turns the lock.

You have no idea what just happened. How things went from being absolutely perfect to absolutely broken. You drive back home with tears stinging your eyes and far too many questions without answers.

[kass-storycorner]

Hello!! i stumbled across your works and i absolutely fell inlove with your writing (especially the angsty ones)

Can i jump on the angst train and request a fic with a line that goes "I'm here, you dont have to wait anymore," with childe? Like maybe the reader told childe that theyll wait for him no matter how long it takes (and maybe a sprinkle of argument) but something happened that made the reader be on the brink of death. With or without comfort/happy ending is up to u!!

first of all thank you so much for the request! and it really makes me so happy to hear that you like my writing, especially my angst haha secondly I am so sorry that this took so long, since I saw this ask in my inbox I couldn't stop thinking about it and finished the first part of this pretty quickly - only to be stuck at how to end it (and actually fulfill the request haha). right now i am not really happy with the ending, though I feel like this is the best I can currently do! I really hope you enjoy, please let me know if it was alright haha (also I fear that I didn't really...wrote Childe in-character, I don't know)

Waiting for you

Genre: Angst, Hurt, comfort at the end

Characters: Childe x gn!reader (Childe is referred by is actual name by the reader, but outside of dialog he's called Childe)

Format: bullet points (backstory) + Text (actual fic, answer to the prompt)

Word count: 4324

Content warning: veeeery slight spoiler warning for the Liyue quests, its literally just one sentence and I tried to keep it as ambigious as possible, slight cursing (using the word bitch too, though thats the only instance of using gendered-vocab for the reader, i still wrote them gn!), mention of blood, mild violence, not proof-read ahah when will i ever do that

you can find the fic under the cut, have fun reading!

You and Childe knew each other since you were just little kids – him and his family being neighbours had meant you always ended up playing with him and his siblings, though you both got along the best.

On more than one occasion you both just ran off to somewhere no one could disturb you, your secret hideout, trading stories of great warriors from outside of Snezhnaya you heard the fishermen at the docks talk about.

Most people and children were wary of Childe, he was always the one who wanted to ‘play-fight’, which ended most of the time with the other kid running home, crying. However, you were the exception, always able to beat him or at least have a tie. Your parents, especially your father, hated it when you came back home with bruises on your arm, a bright smile and telling how you beat Childe up that day. He never felt like Childe was someone you should surround yourself with, but he kept quite for your younger years, also thanks to your mother who wasn’t fond of the fighting either but saw how much time with Childe meant to you.

Things however changed after Childe fell into the Abyss.

It was apparent how violent he got after it, even his own family was completely helpless when it came to him. So his father send him off to join the Fatui, which was a very controversial decision in the small town you both called home – most were happy to not have Childe be around anymore, for he picked up more and more fights and became more violent, but even within Snezhnaya the Fatui have a bad reputation, so most people were convinced that he would only become even worse.

Your father was one of those who was happy, but also concerned. Your mother died shortly after Childe fell into the Abyss, so your father forbade you any contact with Childe.

This, however, did not work. After Childe had to leave Morespesok you kept in touch through letters and whenever he was in town you always met up in secret.

The letters you send each other turned sweeter the older you got, changing the feelings for friendship you both felt for each other slowly into a romantic love. Childe always ended his letter with saying that he would return soon and you always with “I’ll be waiting for you Ajax”.

You always looked forward to his letters and so did he for yours. When he came back to Morespesok after every mission he had to do for the Fatui you both would meet up in your secret hideout. This place became your save haven. Conversations, hugs, kisses and even more – everything that wasn’t written in a letter between you two happened there.

Childe was fine with this and so were you. He didn’t want people to know there was someone he loved as much as he loved you, as one of the Harbringers of the Fatui it could endanger you. You on the other hand were fine with it because, even though you had no understanding for why your father forbad you the relationship with Childe, you couldn’t stomach to disappoint him. After all he was your father and you loved him dearly, no matter how much you both might disagree on things.

Still, you longed for something more – with Childe and for your own life. You wanted to travel too; you haven’t had the chance to leave Morespesok past the few neighbouring villages. So, when Childe wrote to you that after his next visit, which would only be a few days long, he was going to Liyue and didn’t knew for how long he had to stay there – you asked him in your reply if you could join him. Him writing that it wasn’t possible and better for you to stay in Morespesok and just wait for him hurt, but you understood. You are fine with waiting for him, you always were.

You were expecting a sad but loving last night with Childe before he had to leave, ending with a bittersweet goodbye. You weren’t expecting what happened instead.

Childe was angry, it was clear to see. The moment he stepped into your secret hideout you knew something was off – how he averted your eyes, how he didn’t return your kiss with a passionate one, like usual. “Ajax”, you purred in a sweet voice, “what’s wrong?”. You tried to take his hand, but he only pulled it away. Ah, that was unusual. He never refused your touch, no matter how angry he was before. “There is nothing wrong, I just was curious if there is something you want to tell me?”, he replied in a bitter tone, not even looking at you. It took you completely off guard; you saw him be angry or sulky before, you two had your fair share of arguments in the past, but somehow this was different. “No, there is nothing except for the fact that I missed you very much,” you told him, but you could feel how you started to become irritated. When you saw him two days ago visiting your family’s shop with Teucer he gave you a warm and loving smile, winking at you when he handed you that piece of paper asking to meet up tonight. What had happened in between that made him act like this? “Tsk, fine,” and with that he was on his way out. You moved quickly in front of him, blocking the way out. “Now wait a moment, would you kindly tell me what is going on here?”. He just quietly looked at you for a few seconds before he shoved you aside. “AJAX!”, you couldn’t hide your irritation and growing anger anymore, burying your fingers in his arm in order to stop him from leaving. “What did I do to make you be angry at me?”. “It doesn’t matter”, Childe replied coldly, while trying to get you to loosen your grip on his arm. “Now let me go and run home to your father and your fiancé, I bet they are already asking where you are right now.” “My what?” you replied with bewilderment. “Childe, is that why you are angry with me? Because you think I am engaged to someone else?”. Honestly, you would find this situation hilarious if it weren’t for the fact that Childe still looked at you with a sour face. “Well, I don’t think you are engaged to someone else; I know you are. Your father was really excited about the whole thing when he told me, he even invited me to your wedding, granted if I could find the time.” As he said this, he noticed how your face was a combination of confusion and anger. And oh yes, were you angry. Angry at your father for telling such blatant lies and at Childe for believing them, confused as to why he would even believe your father in the first place. “Ajax, I-“you let go of his arm, pinching the bridge of your nose and letting out a deep sigh. “I am engaged to no one, never was. I didn’t tell you this, because I didn’t want to upset you or worry you needlessly, but maybe I should’ve done it. My father continuously tries to marry me off whenever he finds anyone, he deems a worthy suitor. I guess he might have found one of your letters, though he never said anything about it, but I can’t explain why he suddenly started to become so interested in my marital status. Every few weeks he brings another person home, tells me I should marry them, for me to turn those poor fools down and tell my father he should stop. Most accept it that I have no interest in them, some stick around for a few weeks until the realise that nothing will come of it, but yeah. Ask anyone, Archons ask your family, it’s already a running joke here.” You expected the atmosphere to become less tense after you explained the whole situation to him, for him to even turn it into a joke and to apologise for his behaviour. Instead, it just grew more tense. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”, his voice still being cold, underneath it you could hear how angry he still was. “Because it wasn’t important, at least not to me. Honestly Ajax, I don’t see what the issue is here. I am not engaged and I do not plan to agree to one unless-“, you stopped yourself right there. ‘Unless it’s you who’s asking’, is what you wanted to say. You could feel how your heart fluttered even just at the thought. Childe, however, did not notice where you were going with your last sentence, too

occupied with his own anger. “Unless what?”. “It doesn’t matter, can’t we just drop the topic and enjoy our first and last night in months with each other without fighting?”, this was your last offer of peace, hoping he would finally calm down. But you knew deep down – Childe never was one to back out of a fight. “No no no, continue, tell me what you wanted to say!”, his voice growing louder and louder with every word. “Ajax, let it be,” you really weren’t in the mood for anything tonight anymore and the least you wanted to do was discuss your wish of a future with him. “No, I won’t. Tell me, because I would love to know. Or don’t, you can also just go and choose one of the various suitors your father picked out for you to fuck, I bet you really enjoy it how they are all standing in line for you,” he spit his words out, full of anger and disgust. This was the final straw for you, it was apparent that Childe choose words that he knew would hurt you with intent and it made you explode. “You know what? I’ve had enough!”, you screamed at him, feeling how tears were pooling in the corner of your eyes. Not out of sadness or because his words hurt, those were tears of pure rage. “You come in here, after I haven’t seen you in weeks, before you leave for an unspecified amount of time and all you have to do is pick a fight? Fine, here have a fight! You are unhappy that I didn’t tell you how my father wants to force me in a marriage I don’t want to be in? Boho, I am so so sorry for you Ajax. Really, I can’t fathom to imagine how much you must struggle with this, but oh well, life must be so hard when you keep travelling around Teyvat. Because I really can’t imagine how life would be outside this place, what it’s like to have anything to do. Have you ever noticed, ever realised how much I hate it? Hate the wating? Because that’s all I do! I wait for your letters, and I wait for you to return. All I ever do I wait, wait, wait. Wait for you to come home yes and wait for you to finally be ready for something, anything more!”, the tears were now streaming down your hot, angry face. Childe just looked at you, waiting for you to end what you had to say. “I am tired of waiting! I am tired of keeping us hidden, yes, I agreed to it too in the beginning, but now? Dammit, Ajax. I don’t want to be left alone here when you go to Liyue, I don’t want to wait if I don’t know for how long I should wait. I just- “it became harder for you to speak, sobs interrupting you every few seconds. “I wish you would let me join you.” Except for your sobs, which you tried to supress, silence fell over the two of you. Childe just stood there in front of you, watching how you tried to stop the tears. “You know I can’t take you with me. It’s… it’s not safe,” he said after a while. You didn’t expect for him to change his mind, however his words didn’t make you feel any better… on the contrary they made you feel even feel worse. “Leave me alone,” was all you could tell him in that moment. You didn’t want to have him near you, you didn’t want to see his stupid face or look at his sad, blue eyes. Right now, you only wanted to be alone. “(Y/N)”, Childe began softly, wanting to take you in his arms but the look you gave him made him stop dead in his tracks. “Please, I need to be alone now”. The atmosphere was heavy, both of you didn’t want to part on bad terms but – right now wasn’t the right moment to make up. “I will leave you alone, but (Y/N)”, he said, looking at you with regret about how he acted just earlier, “please wait for me.” You scoffed at his words. Wait for him, again. “(Y/N)”, you turned away, so you didn’t have to see his face when he spoke your name again. “(Y/N), please. Please promise me that you will wait for me, I’ll come back, I promise you and I will make up for this… and for making you always wait for me. I promise. You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice.” At the mention of the nursery rhyme you had to chuckle a bit. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend,

the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again,” you finished it, looking back at him. “Fine, I’ll wait. But leave now.” And with that Childe left you alone, leaving Morespesok for Liyue the next day.

It has been a few months now since Childe came to Liyue and while his endeavours here were more or less successful, what was on his mind most of the days was you and how you both parted. He wanted to kick himself in the arse for how he acted that day, for making you so angry and for making you cry. The worst however is how you haven’t written him a single letter yet and Childe, though he would never admit it because of his pride, was too scared to send you one first. That he should be the first one to send you a letter was something he was aware of but still – he couldn’t find the right words. What should he write? Every time he sat down at his desk, looking at the piece of paper in front of him… he was never able to make it past “Dear (Y/N)”, and even with this he wasn’t sure, maybe “Beloved” would sound better? Childe would’ve even considered asking Zhongli for advice, however after finding out that Childe was just a pawn in his plans – he still considers Zhongli a friend, but before he could ask for advice the feeling of betrayal needs to fade out. And now he got the order to return to Snezhnaya by the end of the next month… he felt so anxious at the thought of seeing you again, not even knowing what happened with you the past months. So in the letter to his family in which he announced is return, Childe asked them, after months of not hearing anything from or about you, how you were. When he held the letter of his family in his hands, he started to feel nervous, it included the answer of your wellbeing. He knew you would keep your promise, but still. What if when not? Reading the contents of the letter, however, made him wish that he had asked sooner. Childe couldn’t stop reading the few lines his family wrote about you over and over again.

You asked about (Y/N) wellbeing in your last letter. Ajax, we wish we could tell you some more pleasant news than this, but we haven't seen or heard anything of (Y/N) for a week now. No one really knows where they might be, the last we know is that they left their home after a fight with their father, but there is nothing more we can tell you.

After reading those few lines, the letter already crumply at the edges from the way he held onto it, Childe decided to immediately make his way back home. In his opinion it didn't matter if he returned sooner than ordered and that was a problem he will face later. For now, he wanted to know what had happened to you, because he couldn't, didn’t want to, believe that you left Morepesok... you promised that you would wait for him. But doubt crept into his heart and his mind - you were so frustrated with waiting, he noticed it before you even said anything that night. However, he kept ignoring it. It wasn't like that Childe didn't also wish for more, to build a home with you, to spend more time with you. The feeling of not being good enough for you, something your father and others in Morepesok made clear to him since your childhood together, and the fear of putting a visible target on your back by being by your side... all of it held him back.

The way back home only took him a few days and when he came close to his village, seeing the once so well-known roofs and chimney of the houses, he took a junction into the woods, making his way to the secret hideout of you two. When he arrived, he noticed how it looked lived in, at first a relive for Childe, until he saw the traces of a fight - and blood on the floor. He was quick to follow the trail of blood, the father he went away from the hideout the more blood was on the ground. Suddenly he could hear a strangers voice in the distance.

"Answer me you stupid bitch!", you felt a hand pulling you up by your hair, but you were already too tired, too beaten up and injured to even respond to that violent pull. All you tried to do was to keep your hands on your stomach, trying to stop the blood from gushing out. You could barely remember what had happened, how you got there. It all started over a week ago, when you father came with another suitor wanting to marry you. Like always you turned him down, saying you had no interest in marriage, this time however he wasn't as understand as the others were. The whole thing ended in you having a huge fight with your father about it, he tried to pressure you even more than usual to take that fella as your husband. It made you sick, you just couldn't stomach being around him anymore. You always wanted to make him happy, always feared of disappointing him. But this? Him asking you to marry a random person? It was something you just couldn't do. So you went away, ran out to the little hideout planning to stay there until Childe came back. You wanted to wait for him - you even got over your stupid pride and sent away a letter for him earlier this morning... and maybe this was your mistake. Carefully you tried not to be noticed by the people in your village, you didn’t want anyone to worry about you, however you also didn’t want to explain your disappearance for the last few days. The man who your father tried you to accept as a fiancé however seemed to have spotted you when you left the post-office. It was already too late when you realised that you were followed - the man made his way into the place that was only meant for you and Childe. After that your memory started to get blurry, how was that even possible it just had happened. He attacked you, you fought back, though the man was just stronger... you ran away, feeling the blood already coming from your stomach. Your body started to become weaker, your legs grew heavier and slower until you fell. Now he was above you, grabbing your hair and screaming. It was hard to even focus on what that man said to you, too tired grew your body and mind. 'I have to stay awake', you thought. It was clear that if you lost consciousness now... well, who knows what would happen then, you only knew it wouldn't be good. You had to wait for Childe, you had to be there when he got home.

There were more than a few things in Childes live he wished he never had to see. Seeing your limp body, blood streaming out of your stomach which you could barley cover with your hand, your hair in the hands of some stranger and your eyes struggling to stay open – yes, Childe wished this was something reserved for his nightmares, not for the reality he had to face now. It didn’t even take second for him to react at that sight, swiftly being next to that man and cutting his hand off with one of his blades, kicking the rest of him away. Childe would have loved to take his time with that man, torture him, make him regret that he was born, but what was more important was to stop your bleeding. Quickly Childe sat down next to you on the ground, using his scarf to stop the bleeding. “Ajax,” he could hear you whisper quietly. “Hey, I’m here, everything is fine, everything is going to be okay.” You desperately tried to keep your eyes open, to look at him. He was a mess, his eyes filled with fear and panic spread across his face. Never had you seen him with such an expression. For only what felt a few seconds you closed your eyes and then – “Hey, (Y/N) hey, open your eyes, talk to me”, you opened them and realised that you were in Childes arms now, his eyes switching from you to what was apparently the way to Morepesok. “Ajax…”, it was so cold. When did it became so cold again? “I waited for you and now you’re here… I waited. Kept my promise.” The last few words came out slurred. “Yes, I'm here, you don’t have to wait anymore. I promise you don’t have to wait for me ever again, just please-“ his breathing was heavy, he ran as fast as he could to the village in the hopes that the healers there could help you, that there was anyone who was able to help you now. “Please, don’t close your eyes, okay?” Before you could even answer him that you will try to keep them open you could already feel yourself slip out of conscious again. All you could say before everything went dark was his name again. “Ajax…”

The first thing you noticed was a warm hand on yours. Even before you opened your eyes you knew which hand it was. “Ajax,” you were a bit shocked at the sound of your own voice. It sounded so weak. You opened your eyes, seeing into those deep blue eyes looking at you. “(Y/N)”, he didn’t sound any better. Only now you started to notice the dark circles under his eyes and how his hair looked even messier than usual. Was he by your side the whole time? “How are you feeling?”. “Better than you apparently”, you joked, weakly grinning at him. He smiled back, rubbing the backside of your hand with his thumb. “I’m glad you’re better,” he replied quietly, looking down at the hand he was holding. “I’m glad you’re here.” At that his smile faded, turning into a sad expression and you already knew what this meant. “Don’t tell me…” “I’m sorry, I wasn’t even supposed to be here just yet and my early departure from Liyue apparently has caused some issues and… well, I was able to stay here until you woke up. The deal was when you wake up or-, well that doesn’t matter now. The deal was that I had to go back and fix the damage I caused once you wake up, which is honestly way more generous than I had anticipated.” You didn’t really understand what he was exactly talking about, you were still tired, but all you knew was that he had to go again. There wasn’t any energy left in your body to hold back the tears that were now falling down your face. Childe cupped your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “Hey, listen,” he said softly. “I promise you won’t have to wait for too long, when you recovered, I will send for you.” At this your ears peaked, looking at Childe with hopeful eyes. “Send for me, you mean-?”. “Yes, this time around I’ll be the one waiting for you to arrive in Liyue and not you’re waiting for me to come home.” At that you threw your arms around his neck wanting to hug him, causing you to hiss in pain. You forgot that you still had a stomach wound. “Careful now”, he laughed a bit at how enthusiastic you were about the news that you forgot your injury. “You promise that I will really join you in Liyue?”, you still couldn’t fully believe that he really was fine with it. “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice,” you leaned back and held your pinkie up in the air. Childe smiled at you softly, interlocking his pinkie with yours. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again.”

[mayhem24-7forever]

Lose You Too - Chapter Two: Bear on a Unicycle

Flag!Reader x Adrian Chase/Vigilante

Author’s Notes: Sorry for the delay on this one besties, life went a little sideways (once again) but good news! I am posting chapter two tonight and chapter three tomorrow! As I always say with my NSFW content, if you’re a minor and you read my content I swear to fucking dilf Superman himself I will find out and block you. Do not test me.  Don’t forget to read the other parts! Prologue and Chapter One here

Also! HUGE thank you/dedicated to my fellow Vig authors and friends @lunaticsandidiots​ and @leaf-dont-leav​ for beta reading this for me because DAMN am I rusty at this.

Warnings: female/afab reader (she/her pronouns), ANGST, mention of canon character death, grief, canon-level violence, swearing/strong language, spoilers for The Suicide Squad (Gunn, 2021) and Peacemaker (Gunn, 2022), alcohol usage, drunk assholes being aggressive in their pickup techniques, harassment, sexual harassment, bar fights, smut, light fingering, penis in vagina sex (I don’t explicitly say whether they use a condom or not but please remember to wrap it before you tap it), being loud af while rough fucking, gun violence, nightmares, hurt/comfort, some fluff (as a lil treat)

After texting Adrian for a few days, Y/N felt confident in saying that he was definitely more than fond of the merman emoji, if anything, he overused it. He used it in place of every other emoji because according to him “it’s like every emotion ever!” which she found endearing, even if it meant she often had to ask for clarification on what he was trying to say. So when her phone lit up with a notification from him, she wasn't surprised to see “just got here 🧜‍♂️” followed by an immediate “p.s. the 🧜‍♂️ means I’m excited for tonight”. She smiled and quickly sent back a reply of “on my way down!”

Sticking her phone in her purse, she looked in the mirror to evaluate how she looked. Adrian had asked her out on their first date and she wanted to look nice, even if they were just going to a cheap sports bar that had, according to Adrian, ‘the best fucking loaded waffle fries you’ve ever had’ and ‘this special drink that tastes like cotton candy and vodka had a baby’. Deciding she was as ready as she’d ever be, she grabbed a jacket and headed out the door.

Downstairs, she found Adrian, dressed nicely, leaning against his silver sebring parked just off the curb.

“Holy shit!” He exclaimed, looking her up and down. “You look- holy shit! I’m sorry, I mean you look really beautiful.”

“You’re looking quite nice too. I like how you look without the red uniform.” she replied, smiling as she approached him.

“Red isn't really my color, I’m more into teal.” Adrian joked.

She chuckled and he opened the car door with a dramatic flourish, announcing “Milady!”

Y/N thanked him as she got in and after he closed the door, he ran around the car to the driver’s side. She looked around as she buckled herself in. His car was surprisingly clean and tidy, no sign of trash on the floor or seats. There was a little rabbit figurine on the dashboard and she smiled at how much it reminded her of an old toy she had as a kid. Adrian hopped in, buckled his seatbelt and started the car. The song ‘Barbie Girl’ blared out the speakers loudly and Adrian practically smacked the console in his rush to turn it off. His face turned beet red and he looked thoroughly embarrassed.

“Hyping myself up on the drive here… I guess I forgot to turn it off.” He said, quietly.

“I like it.” She said, reaching over to turn it back on, although turning it down to a reasonable level so they could talk.

“Wicked” he replied with a smile as he pulled the car away from the curb and began driving.

The drive there was quick, the bar wasn’t too far from her apartment and they spent the whole time talking about how excited Adrian was to show her the waffle fries and the drink which was apparently called a ‘Bear on a Unicycle’. When they pulled up, he helped her out of the car and held the door open for her as she stepped into the bar. O’Rourke’s Sports Bar was your typical run of the mill sports bar, complete with cheesy neon decor and arcade games. They took a table tucked away against the back wall, away from the rowdy crowd of drunks jeering at the football game on the tv. A waitress approached and Adrian ordered the drinks and the waffle fries.

“So, how was your day? Did you work today?” she asked as the waitress walked away.

“Yeah, I had to work the morning shift so I could get tonight off but it wasn’t too bad. What about you?” Adrian replied.

“It was my first day at work, it went fine. It was mostly just paperwork and getting to know my way around and meeting all my coworkers, but I’m told that on Monday I get to actually start the real work.” She answered.

“You said you do computer stuff right? Like hacking and shit? Are you like a ‘guy in the chair’?” he asked excitedly and she laughed.

“Nothing that cool.” She responded, leaving out the ‘not anymore’ that she thought in her head. “It’s a cyber security company so I’m trying to stop hackers by creating programs they can’t crack and fixing any bugs they find."

“That’s some cool shit!” Adrian said. “I just clear tables and refill waters and breadstick baskets and stuff.”

“Why don't you do something else then?” she asked. “You don’t have to work in a restaurant forever if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t have a college degree. I was going to community college but then my mom and my brother died and I took a break to deal with all that and I just never went back.” Adrian answered earnestly. “It wasn't really my thing anyways.”

“I’m really sorry Adrian, I know you said your brother died but I didn’t know about your mom.” She said, reaching across the table to put her hand on his.

“Thanks, it was a long time ago.” Adrian said and their eyes met, holding each other’s gaze.

He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something else but just then, the waitress returned with a tray, placing the fries and drinks in front of them and Adrian pulled his hand back, averting his eyes to the floor awkwardly.

Y/N waited until the waitress had walked away to speak.

“Well, Adrian, I hope these fries are as ‘awesomesauce’ as you promised me.” she said as he raised his head and smiled, watching her poke at the food cautiously. “Because they kinda look horrifying.”

“Alright, so they don’t look very pretty, but I swear they still taste amazing.” he assured her.

“If you say so. I’m going for it.” she said as she grabbed a fry with her fork, trying to keep the toppings on.

“You’re gonna love it.” he said as she took a bite.

“Holy shit.” she said with her mouth still full. “Holy shit.”

“Good holy shit or bad holy shit?” Adrian questioned as she finished her bite.

“I didn't know something could look that monstrous and taste this heavenly.” she said with a laugh.

“It’s like a party in your mouth, right?” Adrian asked. “Now move your fork out of the way I’m going in.”

The pair talked until the fries ran out and then kept talking. Their drinks, which she had to admit were actually very good despite the weird name and awkward-sounding ingredient combination, ran out so they got more and those ran out too. They both switched to non-alcoholic drinks at two, Adrian so he was still sober enough to drive home and Y/N so she was only lightly buzzed but not drunk. She loved listening to Adrian’s stories, which he’d tell complete with funny voices and animated movements and he was becoming addicted to her laugh. He’d do anything to make her laugh just to hear that beautiful sound again, to see her eyes light up and for her to flash that smile at him.

It was almost time for the bar to close and so Adrian reluctantly pulled himself away from the table to pay the tab at the bar. Y/N checked the time on her phone and was surprised at just how much time they had spent at that corner table, talking.

“Well, ‘ey there gorgeous.” She heard and looked up to see an obviously inebriated man swaying towards her from his group of even drunker friends crowded around a tv. “Wanna get out of here?”

“As flattered as I am by your charming and obviously sober proposition. I’m already here with someone, so no.” she said politely but firmly, hoping he’d get the message.

“What? That little shrimp at the bar?” he asked, gesturing at Adrian. “Let me show you what a real man can do for you, sweetheart.”

He leaned over, placing a sweaty hand on her arm, his face close enough to hers that she could smell the cheap beer on his breath.

“I don’t know what part of your pea-sized brain can’t comprehend ‘no’ but I’m in a good mood tonight so I’ll repeat myself: no, I do not want to have sex with you.” she said with a smile, removing her arm from under his and leaning back to escape him. “Now fuck off.”

“Hey, is this guy bothering you?” Adrian said, walking over and immediately placing himself between her and the guy.

“I was just telling our drunk friend here that he should go home and get acquainted with his hand because it’s the only way he’ll be getting off tonight.” she answered and Adrian smirked.

“You heard the lady, get out of here.” Adrian said, turning to the drunk guy.

“Like I’m gonna listen to some pansy ass little bitch like you.” he sneered into Adrian’s face, but Adrian didn’t even blink, he just kept staring him down.

“I really don't want to kick your ass in front of my date but I will if you don’t fuck off.” he said calmly, almost too calmly and a shiver of attraction went down her spine.

“FUCK YOU AND YOUR SLUT!” the guy screamed and moved as if he was gonna punch Adrian.

Before she could even react, Adrian dodged the punch and pulled the guy’s fist behind his back before slamming him onto the table.

“Apologize to her.” Adrian ordered, twisting the guy’s arm as he cried out for help.

“Fuck, shit, I’m sorry, I’m sorry okay!” He spat out between cries.

The next few events happened in quick succession and it wouldn't be until the next morning that either of them would fully realize just how complicated the fight had been. The drunk guy’s group of drunk friends approached quickly and Adrian spun the guy around and shoved him at them, knocking most of them down. Another one of them came up from behind Adrian and tried to grab him but Y/N kicked his legs out from under him before he could. Adrian jumped on a guy who had tried to swing at her. Adrian was methodical in how he worked his way through the assailants, subduing them quickly and easily. He turned around just in time to see the last asshole get cold-cocked by Y/N’s fist.

Adrian’s eyes glanced over the pile of moaning and groaning men on the floor and did a mental count to realize that she had knocked out at least three of them. They stood there, breathing hard and staring at each other in disbelief.

“Nice right hook.” Adrian said.

“I really liked your roundhouse kick.” she replied before looking around at the stunned bargoers. “We should probably get out of here.”

“Agreed.'' Adrian said before he grabbed her hand and pulled her out a back door into an alley behind the bar.

Y/N could feel her heartbeat pounding in her head, her whole body flooded with adrenaline. From the looks of Adrian, he was feeling the same

“Fuck that was so hot, I’m like rock hard right now.” he breathed out and she looked down to confirm. “Shit, I didn't mean to say that out loud. I’m sorry. I know that like beating people up shouldn't be a turn on and-”

“I thought it was sexy too.” She said quickly, interrupting him.

“Holy fuck, you're like my dream girl, can I kiss you?”

“I’m gonna be disappointed if you don’t.”

She almost didn't finish, his lips crashing against hers a millisecond after she had gotten out the last word. Her back hit the wall, his arms around her body providing a little cushion from the hard bricks. His fingers tangled into her hair with a light pull, his other hand winding its way down her backside like it was exploring. He slipped his knee in between her legs, his hands pulling her ass up to lightly rest her sex upon his leg, coaxing a moan from her lips as his jeans teased that taught little bud. Upon hearing her moan, he smiled against her mouth proudly and moved to her neck, intending to give her the largest hickey he could.

‘Two can play at that game’ she thought and moved her hands from his chest up and around his neck, where they came to rest at the nape of his neck briefly before continuing into the brunette’s curls. She twirled a lock of hair around her finger as he tongued the crook of her neck and she waited until he took a moment’s pause to breathe before she pulled. This caught him by surprise, the breath he was sucking in caught in his throat before a moan pushed its way out.

“Fuck.” he moaned into her skin as she chuckled victoriously, a triumph that was short lived as the sound of distant sirens grew ever nearer, pulling them from their lust-addled make-out session and back into the present.

“Fuck, we’d better go before the cops get here. Or that Vigilante you’re so fond of.” she said with a wink, still trying to catch her breath as she spoke.

“Those guys were drunk and attacked us, legally we did nothing wrong.” Adrian replied, smiling as he caught his breath.

“Well if Vigilante doesn't get them for public intoxication and assault then he’ll get us for public indecency. What do you say we take this somewhere more private? Like my place?” she asked, looking up at him through her batting eyelashes.

“Holy fuck, I’m gonna cream my pants if you do that again.” he groaned. “Let’s fucking go.”

They sped back to his car and then back to her apartment, struggling with great difficulty to last the short ride without touching each other. They fumbled their way into the building and then into the elevator, attached messily at the lips before finally bursting through her front door. As soon as the door shut behind them, Adrian hiked her up into his arms by her thighs, her legs hooking around his waist. He carried her into the bedroom, pushing her back onto the bed and climbing on top, straddling her waist.

She pushed up at his shirt and he pulled it off quickly, throwing it across the room as she took in his surprisingly muscular chest that had been hidden well by his clothes. She quirked an eyebrow up and he smirked, responding simply “I do a lot of push ups.”

“No complaints here.” she replied. “Well, I could complain about your pants.”

“What about them?” he looked down at them self-consciously and she pulled him down to her.

“They’re still on.” she whispered into his ear and he smiled in relief, scrambling off the bed to kick them off, almost falling over as he did.

“We’ve got time.” she assured him with a laugh as she pulled off her clothes, leaving them both in only their underwear.

“I don’t think I can last much longer without being inside you.” he revealed, pouncing back on top of her, his hands immediately finding the latch to her bra and detaching it. “Fuck, you’re so hot.”

“So hurry up and fuck me now and we can take our time on round two.” she replied, her hand palming his hard length through his boxers.

“I swear it’s like you came from my mind or something, you’re literally my dream girl.” he moaned in between alternating licks of her nipples, his hands massaging the tissue as he worked.

“Adrian…” she whined, feeling so empty. “Please…”

He ripped the panties off her body and she let out a surprised gasp.

“I hope those weren’t your favorites.” he teased with a smirk as his fingers traced her lips and found the spot they were looking for. “You’re like dripping wet, babe.”

“So do something about it.” she challenged him and he obliged, slipping a long finger into her pussy.

“Fuuuuuck.” she moaned as he added another, his thumb working circles around her clit.

“Wanna taste you.” he said, pulling his fingers out and up to his mouth as she whined at the loss. “Fuck, you taste better than bubblegum ice cream.”

“Adrian, I need you in me now!” she begged. “Please!”

“As you wish angel.” he said smugly before lining himself up and pushing in, inch by agonizing inch until he bottomed out.

“Oh, Adrian!” she moaned, never having felt that full before, one hand staying hooked around Adrian and the other grabbing the headboard for support.

“I swear I’ll take my time next time but I need you so fucking bad.” He warned her before he began fucking her at a brutal pace, his hands holding her waist so tight they might bruise.

The bedroom was filled with Adrian’s grunts and wet slapping as she began to moan loudly as he rutted into her like he was a feral animal, the bed itself smacking against the wall in a steady beat.

“Not… gonna… last… long.” Adrian groaned between thrusts, one of his hands letting go of her waist and snaking back down between them to her clit. “Want… you… to… cum… with… me.”

His deft fingers found her bud quickly and resumed rubbing, her moans increasing in volume.

“Adrian, oh god yes, Adrian!” she screamed as he pounded in and out. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, I’m-”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” he chanted as he neared climax, leaning down and pulling her into a kiss just before he reached the peak, hers crashing just behind, a scream falling from her mouth as she plummeted.

“SHUT UP!” A voice roared from behind the wall, accompanied by a furious pounding, but it was already too late as the pair finished their loud, panting moans together.

Adrian collapsed on top of her as they heaved deep breaths together, still sheathed inside her. They looked at each other and quickly laughed at having been yelled at by her neighbor.

“That was…” he began, looking down at her flushed face and getting lost in her fucked-out smile.

“Yeah, it was.” She finished for him, gazing into his green eyes beyond his crooked glasses, her hand finding its way back into his messy hair. “I’ve only been here a week and you're already getting me in trouble with my neighbors.”

“I’ll make it up to you.” He said, smiling back at her before leaning down to kiss her.

“Are you suggesting round two? We can try to be a little quieter, for my neighbor’s sake.” she asked with a devilish grin and Adrian questioned if he had died and gone to heaven, right there between her legs.

———————————————————————————————————

Y/N shot up out of bed breathing hard, tears streaming down her face and was greeted with a bedroom she didn’t recognize as hers. Taking a deep breath, she remembered she was staying the night at Adrian’s place. It had been a few weeks since their first date and they'd been seeing each other pretty steadily, still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship. She remembered the nightmare that had woken her up and she put her hand over her mouth to muffle her crying, not wanting to disturb Adrian. Despite this, just seconds after her, Adrian was up and brandishing a large knife he had apparently pulled from under his pillow.

“What’s wrong? Who do I have to kill?” He said squinting around suspiciously at the dark shadows around him, unable to see clearly without his glasses.

She could say nothing, still so upset from the nightmare she couldn’t vocalize her thoughts. Embarrassed, she wanted to just sink into the pillows and disappear. Adrian reached over to the nightstand, turning on the lamp and putting his glasses on as quickly as he could with a knife in one hand. She just looked at Adrian and took in the sight of him, shirtless with his brunette hair tussled messily and his glasses askew on his face, sleep still evident in his eyes when he locked his green eyes with her.

“Is someone in the apartment?” he asked quickly and she shook her head. “Are you alright? You’re shaking.”

“I had a nightmare.” she said quietly, barely able to muster a whisper in her distraught and embarrassed state.

“Oh.” Adrian replied, setting the knife on the nightstand before turning back to her and grabbing her hands, squeezing them reassuringly. “You’re awake now, whatever it was can’t hurt you anymore.”

Her shock and embarrassment faded away into relief as she threw herself into his arms, which enveloped her quickly as she sobbed into his chest.

“Fuck, it was so awful Adrian.” she gasped out.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Adrian asked. “When I was a little kid and I had nightmares about the big purple bastard from McDonald’s, my mom would make me talk about it.”

She stifled a laugh through her tears and pulled herself away from his chest to look at him.

“You were afraid of Grimace, the McDonald’s mascot?” she asked quietly.

“You weren’t? That purple blob was terrifying!” Adrian exclaimed and she laughed, even as the tears continued streaming down her face, which he wiped away with his thumbs, keeping her cheeks cupped in his hands lovingly. “Everyone was afraid of at least one of them, those mascots weren't made for children. Was your dream about the clown one?”

“No. It was about my brother.” she answered quietly.

“You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.” he said, slowly leaning back onto the pillow with her on his chest. “But you don't have to hold it in either, you can let it out. I won’t get upset if you get snotty tears on my chest or anything.”

She let out a shaky laugh, “Adrian, that’s so gross.”

“I’m just saying you can snot it up babe, I won’t judge. Or we can just go back to bed if you don’t want to talk about it.”

She took a deep breath and considered this, but she knew that she needed to get it out.

“I have this dream almost every night. Rick is on the other side of some kind of one-way mirror. It’s like I can see and hear him but he has no clue I’m there.” she began quietly. “Then behind him-”

She paused. He knew that her brother had been in the military and that she had briefly worked in a tech position for the government but he didn't know about Amanda Waller or ARGUS. She couldn’t tell him, it wasn’t safe for him but she didn't want to lie so she decided to not give specifics.

“Behind him appears his boss. She’s a real ruthless woman, I never liked her, I always knew she was going to do something to get him killed. She holds a gun up to his head and I’m screaming at Rick to turn around but he doesn’t notice. My friends from that job are there too and I’m screaming at them to do something to stop her, to help him, but they’re not listening. I’m pounding on the glass trying to get to them but I can’t get through. I’m pleading for her to stop, to put the gun down but she pulls the trigger and I wake up. It’s always the same.” she explained, a few more tears slipping from her eyes.

“I’m sorry you have that nightmare so often, it sounds awful.” Adrian said lowly and she could feel the vibrations of his words echoing from within his chest as he spoke. “But I’m here for you and I know exactly what you’re feeling because it’s what I went through after Gut died. You’re not alone in this anymore, whatever you need, I’ve got you.”

“Can you just hold me for a little while longer?” she asked in a shaky voice, a part of her afraid he might say no.

“Of course babe, I’ll hold you so fucking good.” he responded and she laughed.

And so Adrian just held her as she cried, letting it all out, and when she was done, he held her still. Her breaths found a steady rhythm with his, her heartbeat falling into time with his as she laid there on his chest and calmed down. She felt so at peace there in his arms as he gently stroked her hair. Adrian felt like he had found the place he was meant to be, like he had been made and put on the earth for the sole purpose of finding her. He began to hum a little, subconsciously at first but once he realized he was doing it, he switched to a song that he knew she liked.

Once her tears had dried and she no longer felt like crying, she quietly said “thank you, Adrian.”

“You don’t have to thank me, it’s just what boyfriends do. Besides, you didn’t even get any gross snot on me.” He replied.

Instantly, she sat up from off his chest and stared down at him in shock, a thousand emotions bubbling inside her.

“What?” he asked, obliviously.

“Did- did you just say you’re my boyfriend?”

“Did I? Aren’t I? I mean am I?” he began and she could only stare at him in disbelief. “Did I do something wrong? You're staring at me and you look like you're gonna cry again, I’m not sure-”

She shook her head and leaned down, stopping him from talking as she kissed him from above. It was the kind of kiss that said everything that needed to be said, without a single word. They were boyfriend and girlfriend, it was that simple. He whined when she eventually pulled out of the kiss to speak.

“I know we haven't made it official or anything until now but I’m just really lucky I have a boyfriend like you.”

“I’m lucky I have a girlfriend like you.” he replied before launching back into the kiss.

When they separated again, she laid her head back down on his chest, both feeling their exhaustion creeping in to pull them back to sleep. But before she let it, she remembered something important she wanted to ask him.

“Adrian?”

“Hmm? He replied sleepily as he resumed stroking her hair.

“Why do you keep a knife under your pillow?”

“Oh. For safety.” he said simply, as if it was the most perfectly obvious thing in the world.

She let out an endearing chuckle and let herself drift off to a peaceful sleep in his arms.

[hivemindscape]

Hello boys!!

I've been getting messages from the kindest people in my inbox, it was killing me to see you upset, so i decided to respond in this way.

I want to hug the crimeboys community. I want to hug you so tightly.

I am genuinely happy for those of you who enjoyed the finale. I envy you, because I did not.

There isn't a chance that I'll ever like it, either, as I've been turning it over and over in my brain relentlessly, reading people's takes when i can make myself to, grappling for a buoy, something to make it okay. In brief moments of the "no thought brain empty" state, I'm fine, but mostly there's intense frustration and confusion. And Big Sad.

In my opinion, this was an awful ending for these two characters. I hate that I'm forced to accept it, so I probably won't.

That being said, I'd rather you didn't message me asking why I'm of this stance, or moreover writing me an essay on why I'm wrong, I dont have the energy or patience to compose a pretty reply to that.

Keep in mind, most importantly, that everyone is entitled to their opinion on this lore, and is free to critize the writing, providing they don't go insulting ccs in their faces. If you see someone making fun of those who are processing their grief in public spaces, understand that the former people are emotionally immature and had poor upbringing. Yes, I said grief. What I've been feeling for the past 3 days was heartbreak and grief, with its physical manifestations. So I'm here to say it's alright if you breathe around a boulder too.

What you have to be doing as part of the fandom is have empathy and respect for people you do not know on the internet. Recognise you have no high ground to dictate what's the right reaction. Introspect a bit if you have an urge to tell someone to "chill": what impact that comment would have, and recognize that there's none. You'd just come across as an asshole.

I was intending to not go on a rant about that, but it's an apparent problem currently which I couldn't not address, as it turned out. You might be thinking "Bro they're speaking so seriously as if someone died". If so, the following should explain it well enough:

Ability and desire to give your heart to something fictional is a valuable, bright, very telling character trait. This is empathy of the highest order. This means one's heart is immense, and strong. Sorry for speaking cliche, but I do want you to read into what I'm saying.

Have you ever felt enveloped in a hug by someone's mere text message, when they said they understand, relate, and support you? This is incredible. You read fics and cry, you look at art and feel warmth in your chest, you talk with other fans and feel connected. This is a gift that we have, to be connected through this fictional story. And the media format that it uses does not matter here, only makes it surprising and unique.

So. You're valid to be satisfied with the ending. You're valid to be unhappy with it. It's valid to be deeply unhappy because of it. These characters meant the world to me. The trust I put in the content creators not to ruin them was immense. I'm currently figuring out where to go from here creatively.

I want to promise hovewer, that I'll do my best to recover from this shit, and bring comfort to you guys with my crimeboys art again. Its largely because of you and your love for my work that I've decided that. But also this fandom is the place where Ive felt the happiest with myself in my whole life. It's insane, I don't want to lose this.

If you have anything you want to send me, any fic or any art, you can dm me on twitter or instagram of the same name as this blog. I'm currently trying to keep distance from dsmp content (key word trying), but if it's something you're passionate about sharing, I'll go and appreciate it as soon as i can. It means a lot to me when you guys share your thoughts and your work with me Q^Q 💜💜💜

Your messages and your tags under the last piece that's blown up, have been a huge comfort to me. A Huge comfort. Thank you so so much for letting me know. I create art cause its the meaning of me, to be influencing people's emotions, leaving a mark, so I'm incredibly happy I could help you feel better in this time, and any other time. 🫂

Thank you guys. And I'm sorry.

[writingonsaturn]

Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol 

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

  --

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile. 

“Come on, that was funny.” 

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.” 

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?” 

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.” 

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around. 

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year. 

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.” 

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right. 

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--” 

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.” 

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.” 

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?” 

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.” 

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.” 

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed. 

“What do you want?” 

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.” 

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking. 

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?” 

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.” 

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.” 

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything. 

“What is it?” 

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?” 

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel. 

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.” 

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.” 

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--” 

“I’d feel more assured.” 

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.” 

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.” 

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.” 

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick. 

“What are you doing?” 

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label. 

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father. 

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings? 

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” 

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.” 

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow. 

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.” 

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.” 

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.” 

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent? 

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?” 

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.” 

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.” 

“Really?” 

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek. 

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.” 

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.” 

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--” 

“I’m not wrong.” 

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?” 

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.” 

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.” 

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.” 

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.” 

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?” 

“I’m older than you.” 

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.” 

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.” 

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body. 

“Y/n?” 

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?” 

“You’re being quiet.” 

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.” 

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.” 

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.” 

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep. 

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him. 

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine. 

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words. 

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.” 

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.” 

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.” 

“Now you’re sure?” 

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.” 

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.” 

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.” 

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.” 

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine. 

--

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up. 

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously. 

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare.  I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently. 

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

 My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me. 

“Y/n, I--” 

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.” 

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once. 

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?” 

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I  thought I had lost you.” 

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.” 

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand. 

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.” 

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.” 

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” 

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.” 

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--” 

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.” 

“If anything ever happened to y--” 

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--” 

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?” 

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”  

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage. 

“Y/n?” 

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him. 

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?” 

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares. 

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?” 

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.” 

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--” 

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--” 

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.” 

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?” 

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.” 

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?” 

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.” 

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?” 

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.” 

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.” 

“I am not tired.” 

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.” 

“I can see it in yours too.” 

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.” 

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know. 

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest. 

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?” 

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.” 

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”  

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.” 

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.” 

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight. 

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips. 

[steelycunt]

ridi ridi hiiii !!! how are youuu how was yr dayyy i started mine off by rereading yr otiofad ficc did you know every sentence in it is a masterpiece did you know every word is like worthy of an auditoriumesque applause now yk i wanted to ask you to talk about that particular bit tho (if you wouldn't mind ofc !!) where sirius slams the book shut on an insect bc it's sooo like it's sooo !! it reads like premonition and also like r can't help but be wary of s and s can't help but be just like capable of harm regardless of intention & carelessly and i think it's sooo genius I think yr soooo genius for that and if you have more to say abt what that bit meant to youu + process of writing it + foreshadowing you wanted to get across w it etc. etc. i would be vv interested to hear <333 mwah love you loads xx

hello my lovely omg!!! my day was GOOD actually surprisingly good i am recovering from my illnesses and i played badminton and ate tangerines it was a very content day!! how was yours!! also warning you now in advance i wrote way too long a reply to this. like WAY too long NOBODY needed this im so sorry!! the very final paragraph provides like a little tl;dr you DO NOT need to read the essay that is under the cut!! im so sorry!!

okay firstly the idea that someone would not only read one of my little stories but read it more than once?? crazy actually!! insane!! so glad that it could be a part of ur morning n i would love to talk abt it!! hang on opening it in a new tab rn let me remember what it was i actually wrote huh lol

firstly with the flashback scenes in otiofad in general they had to serve two different purposes. they obviously needed to show the intense love and intimacy between the boys prior to The Incident, in order to juxtapose the post-prank scenes and serve as a marker for measuring the size of the rift in their relationship that its caused (which is why theres lots of kissing and cuddling and cloying monologues in the flashback scenes), but at the same time they had to demonstrate the little parts of their relationship which are a little bit fucked! a little bit unhealthy and obsessive. and they had to portray sirius as a person who has the capacity to do what he ends up doing. i didnt want to accidentally work against myself by over-idealizing their relationship to the point where it became difficult to believe sirius could be so thoughtless as to do what he does. like if ive just made you read fifteen hundred words of him being the Best Boyfriend Ever and then switch to him begging forgiveness for an attempted murder, his character becomes a little disjointed, and i really wanted it to feel like you're consistently reading the same people, just in very different circumstances. so the flashbacks very much needed to stress their intensity rather than their health as a couple.

im definitely roaming beyond the parameters of your question (but i promise it all circles back xx) but some of the sort of. i dont want to say red flag as much as cause for concern moments that i tried to include especially in the flashbacks include for instance: [Sirius says that sort of thing often, and with a confidence that Remus cannot ever fathom. Good god, how he would like to ask Sirius, them or me, that or me, and never fear the answer.] in the first scene, because i think remus' low self-esteem and his insecurity definitely affects their relationship + how he perceives it, which isn't anyone's fault as much as it is just them being young and imperfect like. theyre like sixteen here nobody had it together when they were sixteen right :-/ you have sirius utterly utterly obsessed with being in love with remus declaring that he doesnt want anything else from life and he's. sixteen years old. he's got no idea. like its that sort of rashness and impulsivity when he's speaking and acting which ends up fucking him over :-/

TO GET BACK to the bit you actually asked about (im so sorry for how long this is <3) the part where he closes the book on the spider. i mean honestly ur interpretation in the ask is pretty spot on!! its another one of the little stitches in the flashback scenes that sort of...slightly changes/sobers/brings the tone back down the reality a little, after theyve spent most of the scene cuddling and kissing etc. i'd already sort of tried (and i want to emphasise try at every point in this answer sfdghsh because i am not necessarily claiming that any of this was necessarily successful lol) to show sirius' capacity for being rash and obsessive, and the spider moment was just this tiny act of unnecessary, arguably cruel? violence that was meant to be jarring against the very over-sweet and gentle affection he's just shown remus. and although theyre acts of violence on such different scales, he gives just as much thought to sending snape to the willow as he does to squashing the spider. one of the things about sirius that i love soooo much is his relationship with violence and the way his anger translates into violence and cruelty (which remus mentions in the final scene when he says “You’ve got to stop being the kind of person who hurts people when they’re angry.”). its why hes SO fun to write angry because his anger is so distinctive lol. so the spider moment is just meant to serve as a little reminder of this random, mindless aggression that sirius carries around with him and that exists in tandem with all the affection we've seen him show remus, who starts in surprise when sirius slams the book shut. (i'll let u in on a super little fun (or not) fact that in my head when i was writing it i always drew a little parallel between the twitching insect leg thats left on the page and the similarly uncomfortable sensation of the eyelash that remus feels scratching his own eye immediately afterwards. thats not necessarily meant to come across n i expect it doesnt because i didnt develope the idea...at all...but in my head they were always a little linked teehee like even sirius' smallest acts of violence still have an effect on remus somehow xx)

but yeah!! apologies i didnt think this would be such a long explanation for a simple question fbhsdfhs im very embarrassed by this but like!! in short the spider was another little jarring moment designed to tether the version of sirius you get in the flashback to the version you get in the post-prank scenes, because ultimately he's the same guy with the same flaws both before and after the prank!! there was no reason for him to kill the spider like that and thats why hes so fucked. it was just his instinctive response to seeing it there.

[charliedawn]

How would they react if you ask them to dance?

Freddy :

"Heck yeah !"

Freddy is one of the only slasher that is musically cultured. He can spot good hard rock from a mile away. He is a rock and roll fan to the end. Just, put on any hard rock song and you will see his eyes literally sparkle in delight. He would dance with you until the end of the night. Literally.

" Come on darling, let me turn your world upside down !"

He would pretend having a guitar in his hands and laugh while shaking his head up and down with the rhythm. In rare moments, he would actually forget where he is and start singing with the lyrics.

"~She's got a smile that it seems to me

Reminds me of childhood memories

Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky

Now and then when I see her face

She takes me away to that special place

And if I stare too long, I'd probably break down and cry..."

Surprisingly, Freddy has a great voice and, when given the opportunity, will make the slashers enjoy a live concert of his. In those moments, not even Pennywise dares make fun of Freddy. Freddy understands your love for old music, and god, does he got the moves ! You swear that when he is dancing, you forget all about who he is and who you are. If you weren't dancing before, you certainly are now. 😂

Surprisingly enough, Arthur would not join right away. He would first see you dance and enjoy himself watching you having fun with the other slashers. But once he is sure that nobody will judge him ? He will join and dance to his heart content. Many people have ways to express themselves, hobbies that help them de-stress..But unfortunately for the slashers, that hobby was mostly killing people. You try to make them see that they can do the same in many different ways. Joker, however, is a very special case, because he actually tried to escape with dance and jokes..People destroyed his dreams. Now, you have to help him get back his hope and the dreams he lost. The first step to do that ? Make him remember what he loved, before becoming the Joker.

" Why do you want to make me believe in something that is gone ?"

" Because I believe in you, Arthur."

He waited for someone to actually believe in him for so long that he can't help but cry at your words. He would then take you for a dance and make you laugh for the rest of the night. He doesn't mind you old-fashioned taste, as he prefers old songs as well, especially the catchy ones.

" Dance ?! Dancing ! Yesss !"

Penny screams while throwing his hands in the air. He loves dancing. It was the only thing he had when he was alone and penniless. He was dancing in the street in his old clown costume, hoping for some generous souls to find him entertaining. However, when he became Penny, his dance became the last thread of his old life he hanged on to. It may have been a way to lure his victims in as well, but it was also much more for Penny. He loves dancing. He is also very good at it, being a very flexible person with a great creativity. His dance may look childish at first, but it's only because he never got the proper training. You asked the hospital to give him some lessons, but unfortunately, they didn't want the dance teacher to become dinner. This is how you had gotten the idea of Friday's dancing nights. It allows the bond between the slashers to strengthen and for Penny to learn more about what he loves.

" Penny dances ! Penny is so happy !"

Well, just make sure he has the dance floor to himself, as you wouldn't want any of the slashers to receive a slap or a kick on accident..He doesn't really care about the music, as long as he can dance on it.

Dance ? What is dance ? When he sees you and the other slashers dance, it makes him think of those teenagers at Crystal lake. He is not too fond of dancing. He will however stare at you and sometimes, even nod his head up and down with the music if he likes it. But, if you try to make him dance with the others ? He will freeze. He is not used to dancing and never cared enough to learn. For a long time, it had only been his mother and him, therefore he hasn't had the chance to make friends or open up enough to dance at parties. He likes watching though. Most of the time, he will stay with Five or Michael, the only ones to understand his predicament. Plus, he doesn't know or understand most of the songs you're playing. He tried to ask you what they meant, but most of the words you used to answer him only made him more confused. Love ? Hope ? Loss ? He doesn't understand them. However, he does understand grief and sorrow. Those are feeling he can relate with as he felt them when he lost his father. When a sad song comes in, he will pay more attention and feel a tug in his chest.

" My boy. You have to live your life as you intended. Don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't feel. One day, the ones who bullied you and called you names will see how amazing you truly are."

The words of his father echo in his head as he listens to the music. He has nearly forgotten about his face, but his voice is still with him, advising him wherever he goes. He just never took the time to listen to him until now. He always thought that his mother was everything he needed, that she was the only one who loved him, but maybe was he wrong after all ? Maybe other people could accept him ?

*internal panic*

He knows how to dance, that's not the problem. It's just that it's been so long that he's afraid he's gotten a bit rusty. This is why you will most likely find him hidden in a corner, watching over you all. At this point, he is more likely to play the role of the quiet big brother who is making sure none of his siblings accidently hurt themselves or have too much to drink. However, if you really insist, he will try to enter the game and make a few tentative steps on the dance floor. But, dont expect too much of him. He is embarrassed enough as it is. However, he will help in the kitchen if you need to bake something of prepare some snacks for the slashers. Another thing to know about Michael, is that unlike Jason that doesn't mind raising his mask a little to eat or drink, Michael will prefer to wait until everybody is gone or asleep before letting himself do the same. He is very keen on his mask and doesn't want anyone to see him without it. So, maybe prepare a little space away from prying eyes for him to have intimacy ? As for the music, he doesn't mind. Everything is fine with him.

Unlike Penny, Pennywise is not that much of a dancer. Penny is a dancing clown, Pennywise is a grouchy clown. He would rather be sarcastic all evening than partaking in the fun. However, something that he is good at is inflating balloons. He will help organize the party and will try to entertain Penny as much as he can. Pennywise may not be a dancing clown, but he cares about Penny. Penny is the closest to family he has left, and even though he would never admit it, he would do anything for him. He is protective of him and if it meant making Penny happy ? He wouldn't mind playing the clown for a night.

" Stop looking at me like that. I'm not gonna dance. You can't make me. Invite Penny instead. He's far more excited to make a fool of himself than me.."

He would reply when you invite him to dance. He doesn't care about the songs, as long as they don't have any curses in them. He loves cursing, but he doesn't want Penny to follow his example. He wants him to keep the little innocence he has left.

(couldn't find a gif with Five, so imagine it's Five in the second gif.)

He will not dance. Not even if you beg him. He will be happy if you leave him alone with the drinks. He will mostly stay with Michael and drown his bad mood in alcool and most likely complain.

"Goddammit. Can't we have decent whiskey in here ?!"

However, if you really insist and he has enough alcool in his system ? He may follow you and make some moves on the dance floor. Maybe.

" I swear you all suck. It seems I'll have to step up to level the game. It's not because I'm having fun or I like any of you, it's just because you bunch of idiots can't differentiate good dancing and monkey dancing."

Five got many classes on how to be the perfect spy while being trained. Let's say that there were some more enjoyable classes than others. He knows how to dance as a result and will steal the dancefloor when given the chance.