#odd & obscure memes

[odd-and-obscure-memes]

[simple-persica]

Send me $100 USD and like, a good sandwich and I'll do it

[leidensygdom]

i just saw someone complaining that the fandom they're in (one of the most popular fandoms right now- All I'm gonna say is that it is featured in the top 10 of the Ao3 list that came out the other day) is "already dying" and "people are moving on to other stuff" and that "there isn't enough content"

Which is kind of funny, kind of horrifying. I know there's a lot about the hype machine and people getting into the latest new thing for a month before moving on, but- What about being into this game that came out almost 30 years ago that wasn't even released in your continent. What about being terribly obsessed with a little guy from said game that is mostly acknowledged through memes nowadays. What about the height of the amount of fanart done of that character was a singular artist who decided to draw the lil guy for over 1000 days on twitter dot com. what are y'all even talking about

people NEED to be into weirdly obscure fandoms appreciating the odd fanart that pops every now and then!! Get into an old game with a limited release! Get into a really weird indie game that barely ever saw the light of the day! Get into a webcomic where you can know the other 4 fans by name! Being into a fandom that sees thousands of new fan content on a daily basis IS getting spoiled!! the hype machine is an horrifying concept! you can love a thing for years to come, you can create content for it and find other people who stay in the niche a decade later, it's fine! you'll be fine!

[shithowdy]

my identity as the guy who points out generative images because i believe in people having the skill to discern them to both protect themselves and artists is constantly at odds with the part of me that doesn't want to be an annoying killjoy on things like funny memes but i think just for the sake of people who try to avoid it altogether: those pixelated-looking wizards are generative AI, as are like, 90% of all the classically-styled wizard images suddenly appearing on social media (like, if you see a wizard with impact font, it's... probably AI)

the pixelated style in these memes, i think, throws a lot of people off because it obscures a lot of the crunchy details and isn't typical of usual generative styles, but it still has the hallmarks of details that can't be explained, nonsense architecture, and objects fusing together (nevermind the weird hands).

i'm just going to keep pointing these things out even if it makes me Not Fun. I just want people to understand where the things they share originate.

[jannwrites]

book meme : WHAT MOVES THE DEAD by T. KINGFISHER.

a selection of lines from the novel what moves the dead. modified slightly for rp purposes.

i'm delighted by obscure passions, no matter how unusual.

it's cold and poor and if you don't die from falling in a hole or starving to death, a wolf eats you.

god, but it was a depressing scene.

i am, for the most part, not an imaginative soul.

he was the gentlest of souls, though he did collect rather odd things.

i swear to you, if i had not heard his voice, i would not have recognized him.

you look like you've been dragged arse-first through hell.

you have grown into an outrageous liar.

in some ways, it's rather refreshing to be treated in the same way as a fungus.

i will tell you, this is a recent dissolution.

i think it might be enough to make anyone ill.

i do not know how to deal with this sort of death, the one that comes slow and inevitable and does not let go.

death that simply comes and settles is not a thing i have any experience with.

i knew most of them would die anyway, but if they died in front of me, it felt worse.

we were friends once. i hope we still are.

i hear things now. everything. my own heartbeat. other people's breathing sounds like thunder.

sometimes i fancy i can hear the worms in the rafters.

but this place has made me afraid.

you don't pull punches in the morning, do you?

what sins could you possibly have?

you know i'm not a superstitious soul but i swear there's something wicked here.

they say mushrooms spring up where the devil walks and where the fairies dance.

perhaps they believe that the fungus is part of them.

it's in god's hands, not mine. perhaps not even his.

are you a witch, then?

don't listen to him. the dead carry lanterns down in the deep.

this place breeds nightmares.

he complains of nightmares. says the walls breathe them out.

i begin to think that this place has killed all of us, in its time.

most of us go to the devil without him having to personally oversee things.

the dead don't walk. you of all people know that.

really, what good would it do? have you not seen enough bodies in your time? maybe it helps other people, but it's just one more face to haunt your dreams.

headache is always preferable to heartache.

perhaps this miserable place has weighed down my spirit and left me vulnerable.

they don't fear ghosts where you come from?

i don't believe the dead actually care about those things.

[name], i have come to think of you as a sensible person, but there is something quite unsavory about all this.

you don't believe in possession, of course.

the dead may walk but i will not walk among them.

this thing, whatever it is, it's what's killing you. devouring you alive.

i've been dead for at least a month.

i could never help anything that killed you.

i know exactly where i would place the match.

[trashlama]

YAN!FUTURE!DONNIE X READER!!

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

Heeeeeeyyyyy guess whose back!

This is a part of I guess this series of one shots I got going on. →This post can explain more←

This is the image I used for Donnie in this one. ↓

Art isn't mine but the design is radical!

Sorry this took so long. Honestly I almost didn't post it cause I didn't like how it came out. Like I kept trying to fix it to how I like it buuutt, this was the best that I could do. I might try rewriting it or somethin'. I was just trying to change it up buuutt, I suck. Did my best with the proof reading. Probably could have tried to proof read it more.

Honestly this fic is pretty dark. Originally was darker.

Please no minors, 18+ only!(There's no smut or anything sexual, just a lot of technically triggering elements)

The meme in this fic is not mine I just found them on Pinterest and they were too good.

Read the creator's notes below for more!

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

Humming computer fans and diligent typing filled the silent void in the poorly lit room. If not for the obscured ominous glow of the various monitors littering the labatory you would've believed you had gone completely blind. Having already lost the vision on your right to the slimy pink tentacle bastards who transformed your planet into the living Hell on Earth.

Guess religion was right about something. At The End of Days the devil came for the damned. And in spite of your mother's faithful beliefs, there was never a savior to come swop away the righteous to the selective pearly gates of the Heaven she had mindlessly prayed to. She was wrong. Her savior locked her out.

There would be no salvation. Not for anyone.

Instead for the first thirteen years after the Krrang's invasion you suffered. Everyone suffered.

Shit hit the fan and it splattered like a chocolate pie in bad clown gag.

Overnight the world you had grown up in changed for the worse. Blind to the way society crumbled and turned into a Mad Max film. Unaware of the great loss. Naive and young you weren't prepared for the grotesque violence that replaced your boring mundane life that you had taken for granted.

How you wish there was a way to go back.

Return to days where your only worries were filling out job applications to move out of your mother's abode and getting into a good college. Begging whatever deities listened to accept you to one of the variety of schools you had applied for. Preferably one more than five hundred miles away from the run-down neighborhood in the Bronx you lived in. You've always wanted to travel the country and college opened up that opportunity to do so. Had everything gone according to plan you would've started your first semester that following fall.

Though it wasn't meant to be. Instead you spent that lonely winter, grieving

" (Y/n) "

At the call of your name the chain that hung from around your neck clanked as a single (e/c) orb snapped out of its routine day-dreams to look towards the owner of the tired deep voice that had called to you. It was Donatello. Said ninja turtle kneeling at your side next to the cot you both shared.

Within the nest of sheets you retracted from the curled position you had been laying in on top of the bed spread. A multi-paterned stitched quilt gifted by one of the softshell turtle's brothers— you forget who; rested at your feet, unused. Protecting thin (skin tone) skin from the piercing cold was a worn pair of faded PJs that consisted of a dark green long sleeve with fluffy grey plaid bottoms. The odd attire didn't bother you in the slightest. When living in the apocalypse fashion hardly matters. If it was usable it was wearable.

Despite of your efforts to block the aged mutant out by focusing your lone (e/c) gaze on soothing else. The Large cold hand of Donatello's petting the top of your head was all your traumatized receptors could focus on. Three lengthy jade digits combing rouge strands of unkept (h/l) (h/c) hair away from their position in your face. Wandering fingertips skimmed over your missing right eye. Playing with the white medical eye patch that kept the old wound hidden. Had this been seven months ago you would've already been trying to bite the technological General's scared appendage off. Though now at this point you just let the mutant do whatever. You didn't care.

The same regard was held when the purple clad turtle observed you. Anything and everything that flashed across your face was cataloged by your analyzing capter's dark narrowed stare. A common occurrence that never faltered in its repetitiveness.

Exhaustion dominated the aged jade complexion of Donatello's. His expression would be read bored if not for the controlled obsession that lurked in pools of night.

You always did like his eyes. Even when they were hidden behind the dual frames perched on his snout. One half a traditional prescription lens the other a crimson infrared optic that provided extra assistance to the current wearer. Like a moth to the flame you were drawn to the night sky he held in those dark pools.

"You're wasting the food Mikey brought you" the softshell flatly chastised. Those same magnetic dark eyes that had been locked with yours turned away momentarily to retrieve something from beside him. The tattered greyish purple cloak he wore tied loosely around his sturdy shoulders draped forward revealing the silver cybertronic mechanical substitute for his left arm. A necessary loss for the cause he dutifully worked for.

You hadn't respond to his comment.

For a moment you began to sink back into your land of memories if it had not been for the scrapping metal of the fork against the plate that was now in the purple bandana wearing turtle's grasp. Stabbing at the rations that the commissary passed out earlier that day. At least you're assuming it's day. It's hard to tell when you never leave the underground base, let alone the prison of Donatello's lab that doubled as his quarters.

Back in reality something moist pressed against your bottom lip.

"Eat."

Robotically you obeyed.

You learned a long time ago that starving doesn't work. It was this or the feeding tub. At least this didn't hurt your throat. The ache in your esophagus from the experience lasted for weeks after. Bile threatening to rise if you focused any longer on the nightmarish memory.

Up till the plate was cleared the mutant continued to feed you. Picking at the dish's portions until there was nothing left. After which the adult ninja turtle placed the cutlery to the side before taking a corner of his faded cloak to wipe away the food residue left around your mouth. Repeating the same method with the plastic cup that sat precariously on the table to the other side of you next to the cement wall.

For a moment his calculative narrowed gaze stared at you before deciding something.

"...I have to go work on the faulty pump in the filter for the hydroponic system in the Agriculture Unit later...." Thick brows frowed together in an unsure manner upon his purple-clad forehead as he continued. ".....would you be interested in joining me for the endeavor?" The aged ninja finally prompted.

You didn't respond.

Had this been seven months ago you would've replied with an immediate yes. Not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Back then you would've thought somebody, anybody, would help you.

But if that were the case you would've been free already.

It wasn't necessarily a secret that you belonged to the purple bandana wearing brainiac. On the contrary it was a well known fact amongst the inhabitants of the base. It was just an unspoken topic. An issue that the Commander and the rest of the generals much rather sweep under the rug than to confront.

You learned it the hard way.

You had managed to get away somehow after Donatello first claimed you. Before the chained leash that pooled around you became a permanent fixture. In its place there had been a small amount of leeway the softshell gifted you. A fragile trust you didn't bother to strengthen prior to your attempt two months into your captivity. Maybe things would've been different.

You had told Donnie you were just gonna go to the commissary and get them some lunch. Claimed you were trying to be a nice, good partner. You didn't want to disturb the important work you were so proud of him for. Like a termite at Home Depo he ate it up. A bashful smile stretched across his jade complexion that was burnt red.

Playing the serpent who tricked Adam, you slithered from the technological garden of paradise. Departing with a false display of affection. Pride filled you from the phenomenal performance you gave.

Taking flight to the wind you ran down the Resistance headquarters hallways. Without meaning too you lost yourself around the twist and turns of unfamiliar corridors. Your limited vision and even less knowledge of the section's layout not being of much aid to your mission. Especially since prior to your imprisonment you hadn't ventured to this area since it was restricted to Resistance officers way above your ranking.

Though your plan was to run into someone. Anyone who could help you. You were gonna rat out that purple techno creep. He needed to pay. You were fed up with this stupid apocalypse.

Eventually after sprinting down the halls for God knows how long. You found your self face first into the plastron of General Michelangelo.

"Wwhooo! Slow down little missy! You're gonna give this old man a scare!" The greying box turtle joked even though you weren't very much younger than him. Catching your charging figure easily between rough moss palms. Out of breath you began spewing your story. Begging the mystic mutant to help you get away from his crazy purple coded brother.

"Oooohh, so yoouurr (Y/n)..." The youngest general gathered. Aged face scrunching up in a contemplative way, as if he was thinking. For a moment you had thought maybe the mutant turtle knew who you were cause somebody had reported your missing presence. Realized that you had been stolen by one of the very leaders they worked under. Unfortunately that was not the case.

"Yes! I'm (Y/n)! Your brother Donatello, he—"

"Said that if you got lost to return you to him!~"

What.

It was too late to retreat. You didn't even have the chance to react before the orange clad General had you on the ground. Wind punched from your lungs by the sudden force. Mouth mimicking a fish out of water as you gasped for much needed air. Next thing you knew your hands were bound behind your back by the same orange bandana wearing mutant you sought aid from. Kicking and screaming as the moss green Hamato sibling dragged you back to where you had started.

Entering the lab Michaelangelo greeted his flabbergasted older brother. Sporting a wide cheshire grin as he released his grip on you to only then in the same motion push your unbalanced wobbly stature forward caching yourself on Donatello's chest. Leaving shortly after with some sort of fucked up quip you couldn't hear past the pounding in your ears. Heart jackhammering painfully against your ribs. The beat too powerful for any other sound to break it's dominating rythem.

Were you about to have a heart attack?A stroke? You couldn't tell. You didn't think people your age had them.

Once left alone the white hot fury you had expected never came. No beating. Nor any dismemberment of a limb. There were no threats made for your dire transgression. No shouts or screams of possessive anger. Only unnerving still silence.

Somehow that was worse.

You lied. You tried to leave. You made a scene with his younger brother only for said orange clad sibling to drag you back like the dog who got out.

The first ten–fifteen minutes you both just stood there. There were no excuses nor pleading from your part. Just utter overwhelming suffocating quite. The jade and purple tattooed complexion of the General's who stood before you was drained to match snow. Face displaying a composed, conserved expression to anyone who was looking in from the outside.

Unfortunately for you it was always Donatello's dark eyes that gave everything away.

Hurt. He was undeniably wounded by the injury. You broke the thin veil of trust he gave you. You could have done whatever you wanted. As long as you didn't stray far from him. Stayed and supported him. It was all he wanted.

The softshell was so happy when you forged that lie believing the act to be true. Believing that you cared about his health and work. Being kind and supportive enough to trek and retrieve both of your guys' lunch. Except upon his younger mutant brother's arrival the fantasy he was living in was broken. It was all a lie. You deceived him. Betrayed the tempered trust that two of you shared. A thin string you willing snipped.

Saltwater streaks poured down in silent bunches as the aged ninja turtle lowered his head. He really thought you had loved him as you whispered sweet claims from soft deceiving lips that kissed his heated cheek a farewell. Departing with that smile that made his heart race. Donatello was hurt. And so the turtle did the only thing that would hurt you just as much as you had hurt him.

Had you known what he was going to do maybe you would've fought harder than you had.

No words were exchanged as the mutant scientist tied your jittery limbs to your paralyzed figure. Plastic white ties zipped painfully tight around (skinned tone) appendages. Though fear hadn't taken it's full course until the softshell began to secure a thick fabric around your head, blinding you. Finding the immediate endless world of black frightening.

"Please— don't do this— I-I'm sorry!" You plead as large cold hands slide a set of what you assume are noise canceling buds into your ears. You couldn't catch your breath. Your heart wouldn't still itself as it fought for space within your ribcage. "Please! I— mphmfh!"was all you could cry before lastly a gag was stuffed into your teriffied jaws. Based on the texture of the rough fabric you deduced it was most likely an old gym sock from the clothing bin. The worn garment scratched at the roof of your mouth making you taste cooper.

Donnatello hadn't planned to use this method this early on but, this was a lesson that needed to be learned. He was going to deprive you of your senses. Leave you lost just as he would've been without you. Maybe then you'd understand.

For some time you were just scared shitless. Frightful of the purple coded general's unknown intentions. Was he gonna torture you? Kill you and keep the body? The imaginary list was much more scary than the actual first quarter of the punishment . Thankfully nothing happened. The turtle left you be. Probably just watching you from his typical spinny chair from in front of the large monitor dominating the room. The motherfucker probably felt like Batman or some shit sipping on his coffee as you the Joker— fucked around in the holding tube.

When the endless darkness started to pick at your already aggravated anxiety you had tried to force yourself asleep to escape the void. However you found the effort quickly fruitless. Trapped without sound or any background stimulation aside from the limited range of touch at your disposal made the task feel impossible. Dissolving lines between real and what was not becoming harder to differentiate with every passing unknown second.

Attempts to keep your sanity felt futile in spite of efforts to keep the screws forming coming loose. Clawed (skin tone) palms and curling toes only did so much. When all else failed you felt only one thing could be done. You need to feel something. Anything. You couldn't do this anymore. The scratches in your palms did not suffice.

Doing what you felt was your only choice in your spiralling panic. You began to throw yourself around across the lab's tile floor. Using your upper body and knees you inch worm around the room. Purposely banging yourself into anything and everything so you may injure yourself. Feeding your starved receptors with whatever painful sensations you could produce.

Donatello was quick to remove the suppressors once you really started injuring yourself. Most likely calling it when the various wounds littered your (s/c) skin began to form. Following the path you had squirmed eyes like La Brea tar pits found speckles of crimson decorating a variety of the objects in his workspace. As if a baby crawled around repainting his lab with dots of red.

What a pain. Couldn't you have just accepted the punishment like an adult? Now he was gonna have to clean up this mess later. But alas just as many great minds of science had taught him. There was always a price to be paid for results. Maybe he should've just thrown you into solitary or made a modification or two to your Achilles tendons.... Next time.

Cold hands without delay discarded the ear buds and spit soaked sock. Your chest was still rising too fast. You were gonna puke if you stayed any longer in the dark. Though once the blind fold was discarded the softshell turtle's concerned expression was the first thing you saw. The sight of another instantly calming the bees stabbing your stomach lining. A flash of worry glimmered in those pools of ink. Only for the emotion to be consumed by the sticky black tar that lurked beneath.

"Did you learn your lesson?" The purple tattooed turtle questioned softly as he scooped your zip tied bound form into his mix matched arms. Combination of flesh and steel cradling you as he maneuvered towards his cot. Donatello was aware that you have one too but, recently the color coded general had been considereing just having you sleep with him. It'd save him space.

"I doubt it." he chided with a small grin that didn't match his eyes as he laid you down. Tucking you into his barely used sheets.

You didn't bother to request for him to remove the plastic bonds as exhaustion dragged you into the realm of slumber. Senses finally relaxing thanks to some stimulation. Allowing the phantom hand caresse the curve of your cheek as you drifted away.

When you awoke your injuries were bandaged and the plastic that had restrained you was gone. In the zip ties stead was a steel collar and chain hooped around the deadbolt installed in the cool tiled floor of the purple brainiac's lab. The same device you wore to this present day.

"(Y/n).... (Y/n)..."

"(Y/n)....."

"(Y/n)"

Oh no you got lost in your memories again didn't you? Based on the softshell's expression, your answer would be yes.

"(Y/n)... I think you should come with me when I go to the farming unit. I think it'd be good for you ....and maybe we'll even see Leon and Casey Jr. " Donnie soothed. His large cold hand returning at some point continued to comb the wild flyaways that tried to elude his threading jade fingers.

You didn't care. You bobbed your head. Listening but, not particularly agreeing nor disagreeing to anything as you went along with the general's wishes.

°°°°°°

In the hallway you and Donatello walked side by side. Your collar and chain were gone. Left behind in the lab due to the bondage being bolted to the floor. Not very mobile. Which in turn left you shackle free for the trip. Seven months ago you would've already tried to attack the turtle like the wild dog you were. You had been.

Now the tamed rescue, you leapt and barked without hesitation when commanded.

Like a good pup you didn't stray from your master's side.

Traversing through the base with the lumbering mutant was a quiet affair. No one bothered the two of you as the purple clad genuis led the way.

Here and there the technological general would make small talk by commenting about certain functions found throughout the headquarters along the short journey. Explaining uses of faculties and tech that had been constructed long before you ever stepped foot in the Resistance headquarters.

Long before you ever met the softshell who kept you prisoner in his room. Like a toy a spoiled child didn't want to share.

Pushing open the floppy doors to the Ag unit; bright UV rays burned your sensitive retinas that grew unconditioned to direct sunlight due to the dark room you were trapped in on a daily. Although unlike you, Donatello's dark narrowed stare remained unfazed by the bright light. Not even a stinge of discomfort upon disciplined matured features.

Artificial warmth even if false still felt soothing on your cold (skin tone) skin.

How you missed the real thing.

Missed the stupid picnics your mother would force you on. Laying under shady emerald trees in the smothering New York summer heat under a bright blue sky. Pouting as you watched your mother and brother played on the playground. You used to think those family outings were a waste of your time when you could be hanging with your friends or studying. Be anywhere but with them. How foolish you were.

A small frown laced your lips as you recalled the more peaceful days.

"(Y/n) this way" Donatello's voice called from in front of you. At some point having grabbed your hand to pull you closer to his tall stature as he escorted the two of you through the rows of growing produce. The tips of his long purple bandana tickled your nose but you made no complaints.

"Donnie over here!"

Onwards he directed you along.

Off in the near distance was the blue clad Commander. On his shelled back was a raven haired child that looked no more than nine.

"Oi! Casey Jr can you please be un bueno niño(a good little boy)!" The leader begged as the afro mentioned brown-eyed boy tugged at the long tied strands to his azure mask. Tighting the fabric painfully around his head. Giggling at his guardian's torment. "Nah! This is so much fun el anciano(old man) " Casey cheered, showing off a wide chipped tooth grin. A recent cosmetic development much to Leo's jargon.

Back and forth the two went as you and Donatello approached the comedic duo. The softshell grown a small grin on his normally uninterested expression.

" Thank Gram Gram you're here Donnie! The pump to the filter finally said capoot! And—"

"Yeah I know that's why I'm here." The jade colored turtle cut off his Commander.

Leonardo didn't mind his brother's injection. Smile still present upon olive skin.

"Alright-o dear brother-o! I'll leave you to it."

As the two siblings continued to chat over the needed maintenance, the raven haired boy leaning over the lumbering leader's shoulder stared straight at you. Eyes like teddy bear plushies bore into your being as they watched. Wide and impressionable. Brown judging spheres.

You could feel the bugs scuttling under your skin again.

"(Y/n)..., (Y/n) are you listening?"

Breaking from the losing staring competition you were having with the nine year old. Knowing dark eyes like night drew your attention back to the mutant who was cradling your hand between his own odd pair.

Once the scientist was sure he had all of you here he repeated his directions. " (Y/n) I want you to hangout out here for a little while I work. The pump requires more attention than I had initially thought..." Jade eyelids closed for a moment as the mutant exhaled his stored breath. " ...if you need me you can ask Leo. He had said he and Casey had some things to do here for a bit anyways so he doesn't mind watching you."

You didn't care. It was just nice being outside that damn lab in general.

With the nod of your head Donatello allowed your smaller hand free from his mix matched grasp. " I'll be back soon. If you get too hot tell Leo and he'll take you inside to cool down." The turtle further explained. It was like he wasn't sure if he could depart from you. Even if he was only temporarily leaving you under his twin's supervision. He still didn't like the idea of not having you beside him as he worked. However the space in the room with the filter was limited. Although Donnatello would prefer to have you in sight. Genius does take a little finesse and he always performed best with space.

With one more glance the softshell turtle turned and left. Walking towards the small building far off in the corner of the massive underground green house.

Once gone you were left standing there. Unmoving like a puppet without it's puppeteer.

You guess you stood there for too long cause at some point the Leonardo approached and rested his palm on your clothed shoulder. Probably making sure you're still there before his olive palm spirited away.

Hands very much like Donatello's. Too much like Donnie's. The touch made you shutter. You hated it. You hated the jade turtle who did this to you.

Based on the Commander's look you could tell he wanted to ask if you were good. Though the question would be pointless when the answer was as obvious as the dirt that coated the thin fabric of your eggshell colored slip-on flats.

"Sensei why is that weird girl that General Donnie brought only got one eye? Is she a pirate?" Casey Jr inquired not aware of the offensive statement he constructed.

The blue clad leader flicked his retainee's forehead. Lightly punishing the child as he chastised the raven haired boy for the rude question. "Casey Jr that's not how we talk about people. Especially ladies. If you have a question you ask them politely. " The retainer informed. Dark onyx eyes too similar to that of his brainac twin's slid back to your cemented figure.

You were waiting.

With an awkward grin Leo proposed that you join him and Casey Jr on their check up on the Agricultural workers. You didn't respond, just nodding to whatever the aged ninja turtle had suggested.

Around the large farming area that had to be as big, if not bigger than old New York City's Grand Central Station. The red eared slider led you and Casey Jr around as he performed leader duties. The task not being that tedious if it wasn't for the raven haired kinder who wouldn't leave you be. The orphan kept asking too many personal questions for your taste. None of which you responded too. Though that didn't mean it stopped the nine year old from chatting your ear off.

For what felt like forever Casey Jr went on about, everything. There wasn't a single topic he stuck to. Bouncing from asking about how you knew General Donnie to do you always wear pajamas? What was your favorite food? Do you have any parents? What's your favorite game in the rec room?

The kid was gonna be the death of you if not the UVs that were starting to roast you. The faded winter sleeping attire you wore not necessarily the best outfit to be clothed in while under the artificial rays. Though you didn't complain. Didn't want to miss this opportunity to be outside of the technological General's lab.

You weren't ready to go back to the darkness. Not yet.

A single (E/c) colored orb found itself focused on the sudden opportunity presented.

You didn't have to go back as long as you did this right. You could be free. You couldn't fuck this up again. Not again. The anxiety of the looming punishment sat in the back of your mind. Giggling. A child-like tone mocking you for your thoughts of freedom. Reminding you if you escaped something worse could happen. Would happen.

Blood trickled down the (skin tone) surface of your chin. You had accidentally chewed your bottom lip to ground beef with your nervous tick, again.

Using the right sleeve of your pajama shirt you wiped away the oozing crimson fluid.

"Are you okay (Y/n)?" Casey's high but worried voice broke you from your scheming thoughts.

Looking down at Casey Jr's baby checks that had been holding a wide chipped smile instead thinned out into a tight frown. Wide brown orbs innocently peered up at you with concern.

For a moment you didn't reply.

Looking past the apocalyptic born child observing the interaction between Leo and the worker he spoke to. Gageing how much longer you had before the Commander returned from the discussion.

" I'm fine... but, ....do you think you could help me with something Casey? "

°°°°°°°

When his softshell twin asked him if he could watch (Y/n) while he worked on the hydroponic filter pump. The red eared slider was not gonna lie, he was not looking forward to the task. Already having his own gremlin running a muck the last thing the blue clad Commander wanted was a creepy-ass robot following them around.

However whenever it came to Donnie and (Y/n) being involved in the same situation there was hardly room for argument. Leo was the leader of the Resistance he swore that he'd do his best to help end this apocalypse and to do so he needed a functional base. That entailed having a controlled food supply, functioning weaponry, dormitories, facilities— the works. If anything was to go down. The blue bandana wearing mutant only has one reliable individual who could repair, design, modify— you name it. In less time than a whole team of engineers and mechanics he could whip up— combined. Only Donnie could do it. It's cause of the afro mentioned scientist and his inventions that the Krrang hadn't taken them out yet. The aged blue bandana wearing turtle wasn't actually sure how long they could fend off the pink tentacle armada without his softshell twin.

The thought keeps him on edge sometimes— what if the turtle passed or chose not to use his gift the way he does. They'd be screwed in the long run. The turtle imagines it would be similar to that of ant colony walking into a spider's nest. The carnage would be unsalvageable. They'd have to use the last resort.

He couldn't afford for shit to go sideways.

And sometimes if that meant sacrifices... for the greater good so be it. It was something the mutant leader wasn't proud of.

Leo isn't even really sure when the purple clad mutant even met (Y/n) or how. Donnie kept mostly to himself. Never straying far from his lab and a working coffee machine. So the fact the caffine addicted nerd met someone, let alone a girl. Truly made the phenomenon a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes.

He knew what he was doing when Donnie made his ultimatums. It was (Y/n) or no base. The softshell mutant was aware the kind of game he was playing. How it would affect everyone. So many would be lost because the adult ninja turtle wanted to throw a tantrum. Leonardo was ashamed but, it was necessary. He had to give in to the mad scientist's demands. The olive skinned mutant would like to say he had no choice— But he did. And he chose to keep the Resistance alive rather than allowing you to be free. He couldn't. Donnie wanted you and so you were the purple clad General's. There was no room for negotiations. The softshell was always stubborn like that. He played the odds in his favor. He'd let the whole base crumble if it meant he couldn't have you.

And for the last year, that was that.

Leonardo knew that Donatello was keeping you in his lab and that at some point over the last twelve months the workspace began to double as the jade turtle's quarters as well.

Only discovering the new development when visiting his purple color coded brother one day. The blue bandana wearing leader doesn't remember what he had gone to his sibling's work space for but, once inside he found the usual cluttered layout. However off closer to the far wall in the direct line of sight was the (Blonde/Brunette/Raven or Scarlet Haired/ Etc) tribute his brother had demanded for.

This had been when the (e/c) eyed woman still had her own bed. Though at some point after your escape attempt that had been thwarted by Mikey. He remembered because of the presence of the steel restraints that you typically wore when in Donnie's laboratory.

In the corner you were laying down. Hands obviously bound behind your back. The (h/c) haired captive probably scratched her neck raw again. His theory only confirmed upon closer inspection. Beneath the steel collar a dressing of white gauze. Though that wasn't the only injury. Like a Christmas present you were wrapped almost head to toe in the cotton bandages. Most likely caused by other attempts to break free from your bonds which backfired. Resulting in Donnie just further inhibiting your mobility.

Sometimes he doesn't understand why the softshell turtle did what he does. If he loved you, why did he let you hurt yourself like this? The technological General's plan was to rid you of your will. Like the mustang in stables he was gonna break that need to be free. You would be his. The aged purple coded mutant wouldn't accept anything less.

It was creepy how his sciencey twin doted on his feral captive. How even when discussing the condition of the base the crippled mutant still gravitates towards your curled up figure. In spite your attempts to chomp off his jade digits the Donnie still continued to glide his fingers through (h/c) strands. The action was bizarre to the red eared slider. He couldn't relate but if this kept the softshell from throwing the headquarters into the destructive hands of the Krrang. So be it.

Which brings Leo back to the current task at hand. Watching both Casey Jr and his brother's captive as he did his patrols of the agricultural production. He needed to start getting a feel of the ratio amount of crops so he knew how to plan for the Resistance's future. Winter was gonna be coming soon and scavenging in the snow was not an easy feat. Especially with pink tentacle freaks and the assimilated around every lurking corner up on the surface.

Leo was sure that this was gonna be a pain in the shell however to his surprise he found some entertainment out of the one sided conversation Casey Jr was having with you.

Regardless of the lack of your response, the raven haired boy kept bombarding you with rounds of endless questioning. Like twenty-one questions but, with more like five hundred-fifty-five questions. It was hilarious. Many times as he was communicating with his subordinates he would over hear Casey Jr spout something random. Comedic prompting caused the mutant leader to muffle his chuckles on a few occasions. The action earned him a raised brow or two from a couple of agricultural workers.

Everything was fun and games, until it wasn't.

Leo had been strolling down one of the many select rows of dirt walkways onto the next location he needed a report from. He had been listening to his live comedy show when he noticed the lack of quips from his adolescent charge. That's when he peeked over his broad shoulder, only to find nothing but the dirt path beneath his feet. Casey Jr and (Y/n) nowhere to be found.

That's when suddenly shit turned into a real life Lou Jitsu movie with a plot twist that kept the viewer at the edge of their seat. Except for Leo this wasn't a Lou Jitsu movie. He fucked up. Shit wasn't just gonna line up and all his problems would be solved. No. Hot Soup he had to solve this himself. The Resistance Commander gripped the inside pockets of his loose fitted beige pants. A small amount of anxiety rose at the possible implication of the duo's absence meant.

Now the blue clad mutant was aware he was the sharpest tool in the shed but he knew some things. For example, you wanted to leave. Casey Jr knew how to leave the base. Leo taught him in case of emergency if the red eared slider himself or someone else wasn't present to assist the child. Said afro mentioned charge wanted you to respond to his pestering. And the Resistance leader was distracted by the comedic routine and his patrols to notice the disappearance of the two-man comedic troupe he had been chaperoning.

The grown ninja turtle knew what you were doing. If his hypothesis was correct—

You were trying to use Casey Jr to escape.

The blue bandana wearing turtle internally scolded himself for his stupidity. He knew you wanted to escape. He shouldn't have let his guard down just because of your meek unresponsive domineer and his humorous charge.

Donatello was gonna kill him if he didn't find you before the purple clad mutant was finished repairing the pump. Which at this point was any minute.

Taking a deep breath of air Leonardo calmed his startled nerves. The mutated Commander had no reason to stress. He could handle this easily. Reminding himself that he taught Casey Jr how to flee from the base. If that truly was the case this retrieval should be a walk in the park.

Cursing his luck under his breath the olive skinned turtle dashed off in the suspected direction that you and Casey had traveled. Unaware of inky orbs following his brother's retreating figure. Ignorant to the irritated displeasure that burned within the tary pits.

°°°°°°°°

As a kid your mother the ever devoted follower— used to warn you about making deals with demons and wicked imps. They'd offer whatever you wished for just a simple price before snatching away your soul. Never would you ever reach the kingdom in the clouds with her and your brother Ethan(I know so creative). Now adult, you knew that stuff was a crock of shit— but as a starry-eyed child with all the hopes and no crushed self esteem, you believed it. Though now as you traversed through disgusting sewer waste you can honestly say that it was a possibility. How else did you end up in this mess? You rolled the dice with the jade devil and now you couldn't pay.

"(Y/n)? .....Were you even listening?"

Without even realizing it you drifted off into your thoughts again an occurrence that only seemed to become more frequent the longer you stayed in that base. In that lab. With the purple bandana wearing turtle who betrayed your trust.

Hopefully after this you wouldn't have to worry about that mutated swindler ever again.

"Sorry.. I was just thinking about something...could you repeat what you said again?" You asked glancing down at your miniature guide, a tight smile presented on your (skin tone) face. It's been a while since you had to play nice.

It was selfish but, you had no other choice. You'd never have this opportunity again. You only had one way out. No one else was gonna help you. Push came to shove you were willing to do whatever it took to flee from the purple clad demon who wouldn't leave you be.

" Dios miós! I-iii aaasked why you're tryinna' to leave this base? Isn't everyone like, tryinna' to get in the base not out? " The doomsday child inquired. Emphasizing his question with a dramatic arched brow and one big questioning eye. The expression very animated. The kid likely picked up the look from a old salvaged comic from the Resistance headquarters' communal library.

Not prepared for the sudden insightful line questioning from the nine year old who up until now had been just asking whatever seemed to pop into his head.

With a forced grin you replied. "You wish." Teasing the now pouting child before continuing. "Though if you must know. I'm gonna go see some family." You lied releasing a tired exhale as your sole (e/c) orb looked around the seemingly empty canels that Casey was accompanying you through. Claiming that he only knew the way based on the look of the surroundings. How he tells the difference between one gross wall from another gross wall slightly boggled your head. Though if it got you out of this cement prison you didn't care.

For a moment as the two of you walked side by side the raven haired child peered up at you with a squinting gaze as he absorbed your answer. Another cartoonish action that made the corner of your lip slightly curl.

"Hmmmm... Alrighty! I can understand wanting to see your family. I lost my mother when I was young but, Leo and his brothers always make me feel right at home!" The young child perked as he grinned up at you with that wide chipped grin of his.

You missed this type of interaction. No fighting or an obsessive purple bandana wearing turtle lurking. Just two normal people just having a plain conversation. No commands or shifty deals. Just one person leading the other to the long awaiting freedom you've desired.

These interactions with the teddy bear brown eyed boy become more challenging with each quip the child spoke. Insects were drilling into the flesh under your skin again. Burrowing into the empty casket of your missing soul. Thriving on what is left of your sanity as they scuttled around in the memories you didn't want to face.

Somehow peering down at the chubby cheeks and scruffy black hair of Casey Jr's that didn't resemble Ethan in any way— still made you think of your deceased younger sibling.

He had been only eight years old he was the first to go out of your happy family trio. It had happened when the Krrang had first opened their portal. Neither one of you were prepared for the earthquake like shake before the ceiling of your mother's apartment collapsed and crushed the two of you under crumbling rubble. When you came to after pushing crumbled drywall from on top of yourself and searching for your younger sibling. All you found when you searched through broken pieces of your childhood home was blood. You couldn't lift the interior support beam off of where you had presumed Ethan was. The steel was far too heavy and your palms were too coated in the surrounding sediment to be able to lift the remaining pieces. You couldn't do anything. Unable to fulfill the role of the older sibling.

For hours you bawled as you had tried to wait for your mother's return. She had been at work when the Krrang attacked. You never did find out what became of her. You always did hope that she got away and somehow was doing well. Even if the reality is she most likely got assimilated or killed. You still always prayed she was doing good.

You just wanted to see them again. Go back in time and re-live the moments you carelessly spent. Fights and words you wish could be taken back. Reclaim wasted opportunities that you'll never have again. How you wish you could tell them you loved them both one last time.

"(Y/n) were here."

At the sound of Casey Jr's squeaky voice your lone (e/c) orb found presented before it was a waterfall of sludge that spilled over into a thirty-five foot drop. Leading down into what appeared into a bay of the same icky substance rushing past your soaked flats. An

With a cheeky grin the raven haired boy pointed down into the pool below. "This is it, the end of the line for me!" The boy quipped before continuing. "I can't go any further with you but, if you keep following that tunnel down there you should be out of the sewers in no time!" Casey finished with a smirk arms crossed over his tiny chest as he explained the directions. Obviously proud himself for remembering his Sensei's words.

" Thanks... " You grinned awkwardly. Not particularly fond of the idea of swimming through god knows what.

"Goodbye Casey, ...thank you for showing me the out." A small smile grew on your face as you looked back at the nine year old only to see the cause of your nightmares standing silently in the background. Glowing optic reflecting in the shadows like a beast prowling the jungle.

Suddenly the spacious catacomb you've been traversing through didn't have enough air. Your chest clenched tight around the squishy organs encased in your ribs.

"(Y/n) are you alrig—"

"Casey Jr stay back!"

It was Leonardo, already at his charge's side holding back the nine year old from advancing any further into the situation that no longer included them. Donatello already approaching forward with the same air of confidence he always carried. Expression studious and sharp. Although the purple tattooed turtle did not display it— he was fucking furious.

"I should've known you would do this to me, (Y/n). " The General dryly chuckled as he edged closer. Every bold step forward the purple bandana wearing ninja took, the closer your shaking legs stumbled towards the slimy edge of the trash filled waterfall. In his three fingered grip a pair of steel cuffs. The kind you see in the movies except from the look of the bulky things. The ones dangling from Donatello's right hand were real.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck— Things were moving too fast. Your rampaging pumping muscle was going to explode. Panicked breaths filled the range of sound your anxiety allowed at you honed in on the jade demon in front of you.

" I should've never made that deal with you... you lied to me. You knew that my mother was dead— YOU KNEW!" You cried as your lone (e/c) eye flashed back and forth between the cracking edge you stood on and the softshell who stood before you. "You fucking lied to me! You played me just so I would stay! I FUCKING HATE YOU! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

Panting you learned forward, (skin tone) palms resting on your knees. Never breaking eye contact with the aged turtle who although appeared collected was everything but. Narrowed black eyes filled with so much anger. Though still allowed you continue.

"I... -pant-....will never.. -pant- ..fucking love you. You were a mistake. Any feelings I ever had for you were a mistake. I wish I never had met you. I wish I fucking died when you rescued me on your stupid scrap run those months ago..." Straighten your stature you gave the infuriated jade turtle one last look as you smugly looked him dead in the eye.

"I wish whatever fucked up God had chose to taken General Raph, ....had instead killed you..." You calmly stated. Laughing as you continued. Silent tears finally falling out of your last good eye. " Hahahaha— the only reason— you are soooo important enough to still be alive is because your older brother decided to give his life for all of you sick fucks! I pity his sacrifice— maybe at least if he was still here he would know how to handle shit instead of giving into an overgrown spoiled brat like you!"

Silence. No one made a peep. The only sound that broke through the thick tension in the tunnel was the rushing sound of the sewers water that at this point has successfully drenched the legs of your muck covered plaid bottoms.

In the background the fearless blue bandana wearing Commander's emotions were all laid out on his nonexistent sleeve. He was hurt, pissed, and over all he just looked disturbed with the overall conversation.

Meanwhile Casey Jr shielded his face into his Sensei's plastron. Quite sobs choking the boy as his tiny hands griped onto his Commander's beige pant leg like his life depended on it. Terrified of the situation that didn't make sense to the child. The sight made your heart ache just a little bit.

Donatello didn't say anything. He didn't do anything just bore holes into your soul. You had opened your mouth to continue berating the purple clad asshole who's kept you in his fuckin' lab for the last year. Forced you to sleep next to him. Locked you up like a dog when you tried to run away.

However the jade mutant beat you to the punch.

"Shut up. Don't you dare even say another fucking word. "The aged ninja seethed, closing the space between the two of you in a blink of an eye. His left metal palm shooting to grasp your according bicep, tightening his grip around the tender flesh.

" I don't ever want to ever hear you mention Raph's name ever again. You don't fucking deserve to say it. You're so ungrateful and pathetic it just makes everyone around you laugh at your stupidity. Are you really trying to leave the base? Me? For what? Just so you can go fucking kill yourself out there? I saved you. I'm supporting the human race even when all the facts say I shouldn't. That I should've given up on this stupid apocalypse alooong time ago but, I didn't. I had wanted to when we had crossed paths for the first time. When I rescued you, I changed my mind. Why can't you just be grateful!?!?" Donatello cried as he pushed you from the tunnels edge into the roaring murky waters below.

°°°°°

Beep...beep...beepbeepbeep

There she is.

The softshell will admit he lost a bit of his composure back there. He shouldn't have pushed you from that high of a point but, you just made him so mad. How dare you bring up Raph. You weren't there. You don't know what it was like on that battlefield. There was no winning, only retreat. You don't realize how much he wishes everyday that the one who had perished was himself not Raph. You don't realize. You're always so naive. That's why Donatello was here to keep you safe. It was for your own good.

There.

In the shallow waters was your water logged figure. Obviously you were out cold based off small rise and fall of your chest.

With a sigh, Donatello slid the projected screen from the monitor on his cybertronic arm. Deactivating the tracker that was implanted in your abdomen. Lucky for him had installed this little insurance a long time ago after one of your many fits just for this type of emergency. Finding the gadget handy in locating you both times. Not having to rely on his red eared slider twin's amazing capabilities.

Trekking into the shallow water the purple clad turtle reached down and retrieved your knocked out figure. Not caring particularly much about the condition of his loose dark purple pants that soaked up the surrounding water fairly quickly.

With a strong exhale of air the technological general retreated back to his base chastising you under his breath along the way. Once there the softshell would insure that you wouldn't have another opportunity like this again.

Like a true scientist Donatello learns from his mistakes and he'll keep trying until one of his punishments clicks. It's not like you won't give the techno demon the opportunity to do so. Not that Donatello minds.

After all where would science be without trial and error?

¶¶Creator's notes¶¶

Wazzup!

You guys made this far so you deserve the scoup on the next one-shot will be...

Drum roll🥁🥁

Yan!Future!Raph x Reader 🎉🎉

I don't have a picture for Future Raph but, if you guys have any good pictures saved hit me up I'm always open.

I have some ideas on how I want to do it. Though I could also turn it into a post movie sort of deal. Where it takes place after the events of the ROTTMNT movie. Thouughhh it's up to you guys. One person has already voted for some future Raph so we'll see what I come up with.

[czenzo]

Missed Call

[ao3] Skullyle Internet Friends Series: [1 – Pretty Boy] [2 – Missed Call]

summary:

[00:13] Missed call from Skull Lucy frowned at her phone for the hundredth time that morning. “Has he said something horribly controversial again?” Holly said over her shoulder. “No, nothing like that," she said. "He, er— he called me. Or, tried to. It was just gone midnight, I was asleep.” “And this is bothering you because…?” Lucy finally looked up from her phone. “We’ve never spoken over the phone before.” One missed call sends Lucy spiralling. She begins to question her feelings towards her strange, snarky online friend.

words: 3,440 rating: T

notes: to all the lovely people in the comments for Pretty Boy who said they’d read more, this is for you!

edit: @vryfmi made some absolutely STUNNING artwork of a few scenes from this fic, and @edmeom's art of barista lucy and holly is GORGEOUS – please go check them out and give them loads of love!! vry and galri I owe you my LIFE you're amazing

[00:13] Missed call from Skull

Lucy frowned at her phone for the hundredth time that morning.

“Has he said something horribly controversial again?” Holly said over her shoulder. Lucy jumped so intensely she almost pulled a muscle; it was easy to forget how quiet her coworker could be when she wanted to.

“No, nothing like that,” she replied after her heart rate steadied. “He, er— he called me. Or, tried to. It was just gone midnight, I was asleep.”

“And this is bothering you because…?”

Lucy finally looked up from her phone. “We’ve never spoken over the phone before.”

“Ever? You’ve known each other a while though, right?”

“About half a year.”

“And you talk every day?”

“Near enough.”

Now it was Holly’s turn to frown. “And you’ve… never called? Never heard each other’s voices?”

“No.”

“Not even sent a silly voice note here and there?”

Lucy shrugged. “I’m not a voice note kind of person.”

A long, slow nod was her only response, which was more unnerving than Lucy would’ve liked to admit. “Is it weird? That we only ever text?”

Holly made a vague gesture. “If I were in your shoes, I’d think it a little odd, but—”

“Can I get some service, or is this establishment closed for gossip hour?”

Lucy’s head whipped around to find a customer waiting at the till, red irritation blooming high on his cheeks. She bit back an instinctive snarky response.

Luckily Holly had a knack for dealing with difficult customers, and rushed over to serve him with a beaming smile. “Of course! I can’t apologise enough for being distracted. What can I get for you?”

Lucy decided she was in dire need of a break. She set a timer, threw together a cup of tea and drifted off into the break room, finding comfort in the battered settee with with so many cracks and tears the original leather was barely visible.

She drew her phone out of her apron pocket. The missed call notification still sat there, taunting her for not knowing how to reply. Skull himself hadn’t said anything, either, which was incredibly unusual for him. It was bobbing on three p.m.; normally by now he would have sent at least two obscure memes, three colourful insults, and one post from their shared paranormal forum with added commentary on how stupid OP was. Instead, she hadn’t heard a peep from him.

‘Unusual’ was a massive understatement.

Her teeth worried the skin of her lips. What if something serious had happened, and she was too hung up on a silly missed call to check up on him? What if she’d done something to severely piss him off, and the missed call was his last attempt to hash it out?

Or—the most likely scenario—what if he clicked the call button without realising, and she was making a huge deal over something hilariously insignificant?

She took a swig of her scalding tea, let her head fall back to stare at the ceiling for a long, excruciating moment of contemplation, then eventually opened their chat.

The cursor blinked. Lucy steeled her nerves and reminded herself that she was being a complete tit.

[Joan] did you mean to call me?

There! Message sent; she was officially no longer a cowardly over-thinker. She relaxed and sunk further into the chair, but stiffened as soon as she saw that Skull was typing. Okay, scratch that—she was definitely still a cowardly over-thinker.

[Skull] yea we need 2 talk

Shit.

It took an embarrassing amount of time to type her response.

[Joan] shit, is everything alright? [Skull] no its p serious [Skull] thought it wldv been easier 2 talk abt it over the phone [Skull] but ur probs at work rn so ill just text it [Skull] hold on

Lucy straightened and waited with bated breath, tea all but forgotten about. In the time Skull took to type, Lucy involuntarily went through all of her worst-case scenarios one more time, and suddenly felt the need for a drink much stronger than tea. Christ—why was this bothering her so much?

[Skull] ive been diagnosed with [Skull] huge dick syndrome [Skull] its fatal. im so sorry

Lucy slowly placed her phone on the settee, counteracting the urge to lob it directly at the nearest wall. She gave herself a moment to breathe—in through the nose, out through the mouth, just like Holly taught her to do when a customer really got on her nerves—before cautiously picking it back up again.

[Joan] you’re a fucking menace [Joan] don’t pull that kind of thing again. [Skull] HAHAHAHAHAHA [Skull] dont lie joanie. i got you GOOD [Joan] I knew you could be a proper knob sometimes but I didn’t think it was this bad [Skull] clearly u gotta get 2 know me better [Skull] in all honesty tho i didnt mean to call u [Skull] the call button is right next 2 the block button [Skull] an idiotic design choice if i ever saw one [Joan] you ought to send the developers a strongly worded email [Skull] who the fuck says ought in a casual conversation [Joan] it’s a perfectly normal thing to say?? [Skull] yea if ur from the middle ages [Joan] ok shut up we’re not changing the topic [Joan] if you didn’t mean to call me, why did you go radio silent? [Joan] surely the normal thing to do would’ve been to say “Oops, my bad, didn’t mean to call you” [Skull] Oops, my bad, didn’t mean to call you [Joan] dick [Skull] huge one, yeah [Skull] its a serious condition [Joan] 🖕 [Skull] i didnt even realise id butt dialed you lmao [Skull] fell asleep right after. woke up like 10 mins ago [Skull] im a different creature past midnight [Skull] unaware of and unliable for my actions [Joan] good luck getting that to hold up in court [Skull] id charm my way into acquittal [Skull] all the lady judges would love me [Skull] actually so wld the non lady judges [Skull] im just that irresistible [Joan] more like irritating :/ [Joan] they’d declare you guilty so they never have to see your ugly mug again [Skull] u have no proof i have an ugly mug [Skull] for all u know i cld b on magazine covers [Skull] flexing. smouldering. [Skull] rock hard jawline [Skull] rock hard abs [Skull] rock hard thighs [Joan] I’m stopping that list right there [Skull] buzzkill. [Skull] i bet your manager keeps u in the back so ur face doesnt scare off the poor customers [Joan] I’m practically the face of the company [Joan] everyone loves me [Skull] this is some next level delusion [Skull] does ‘everyone’ include Pretty Boy [Joan] this is some next level obsession [Skull] im not obsessed with him [Skull] im far superior than him anyway [Skull] if he saw me in the street hed drop dead [Skull] out of pure shock [Skull] from seeing my rock hard jawline, [Skull] rock hard abs, [Joan] STOP [Skull] my sexy voice alone could crush his ego [Joan] I wasn’t aware voice cracks and nervous trembling could do that [Skull] kiss my arse joan [Skull] you have no idea what i sound like [Joan] and same vice versa

Lucy’s eyes narrowed. She had an opening here—should she take it? She took a sip of her tea, now disgustingly lukewarm, and decided to go for it.

[Joan] is it weird, that we talk so regularly but only ever over text? [Skull] cant say its ever crossed my mind [Skull] why wld that b weird [Joan] I don’t know [Joan] it’s just something a coworker mentioned [Skull] so THAT’S why the missed call got under ur skin [Skull] ur so painfully transparent [Joan] no I’m not? [Skull] denial is not a good look on u [Skull] if it bothers u so much we can just call [Skull] like any normal fucking ppl wld do [Joan] I suppose [Skull] its not a big deal [Skull] unless u swoon so hard at my voice u get a concussion or smth [Skull] which is highly likely [Skull] considering ur delicate disposition [Joan] wtf is that supposed to mean [Skull] last time Pretty Boy called u by ur name u almost dropped ur phone in coffee [Joan] in hindsight [Joan] mentioning that to you was a mistake [Skull] it wasnt [Skull] its a great addition to my joan blackmail bank [Joan] har bloody har [Joan] you’re a comedic genius [Skull] oh em gee its so nice 2 see my talent finally b acknowledged

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Her break was up. Startled that the time had flown by so quickly, she checked the clock on the wall, only to find she was indeed due back on the shop floor.

On the bright side, she no longer had to worry about the possibility of Skull being a) dead, or b) eternally pissed off at her. Instead, her mind focused on the very real chance that she’d be talking to him on the phone in the near future.

Lucy was by no means completely inept; she could handle a phone call when it was necessary. However, phoning her old insurance provider to get them to remove her from their annoying mailing list and calling a close (could she consider them close when she knew so little about him?) friend acquaintance for the first time were very, very different things.

A hot burst of air greeted her as she emerged from the back and settled behind the counter. She’d been a barista at this cafe for so long everything was muscle memory. It was a mostly handy skill, until someone once switched the syrups around and she almost handed a hazelnut latte to someone with a severe nut allergy. Besides that, and… her tendency to text on the job… she swore she was a virtue to the company.

“Got a clearer head now?” Holly said over the sound of milk being steamed.

“Yeah. I brought it up, and now we might actually end up calling.”

“Ooh, how exciting!” Holly beamed, then added quietly, “Unless he turns out to be a creep, that is.”

Lucy took moment too long to reply. “I’m sure he isn’t.”

“…Yeah!” Was Holly’s response, full of fake optimism that was far from convincing.

A third voice—one Lucy was becoming more familiar with these days—came from the other side of the counter. “Who might turn out to be a creep?”

Lucy rushed to meet Lockwood at the till. Even on a Saturday, he was still dressed smartly. “Oh, no one. Just— er, a friend of mine.”

“They only ever text! He could be anyone,” Holly stage-whispered to him.

Lucy gently batted her out of the way. “You don’t need to spill my private life to customers, thank you.”

“But he’s our best regular.”

Lockwood beamed. “Glad to hear it.”

She playfully rolled her eyes and tapped the till screen out of standby. “Your usual?”

“No, actually,” he said, sounding ridiculously pleased with himself over something so trivial. “I’d like to try that new gingerbread latte, please.”

“A sucker for a Christmas special, are we?”

He shrugged. “Who can’t resist a bit of seasonal marketing? I’ll also have a slice of lemon drizzle too, if you’ll allow it.”

A huff of laughter escaped her. “Wow, you’re really branching out today.”

He gave her another one of his toothy grins. As he paid, he quirked a curious eyebrow. “What’s this about a maybe-creep you only ever text, then?”

“Oh, I can’t believe Holly told you about that.” Actually, she could—over the past month or so, Lockwood’s visits had become less by-the-script, and the two of them had learnt more about him than they ever expected to. Of course, it was a two way street, and as a result Lockwood gained a firm grasp on Lucy’s sarcasm, weakness for confident smiles, and now her friendship with a random guy on the internet.

She’d managed to avoid mentioning Skull to him, up until now. She was surprised the secrecy had lasted this long, though she was unsure why she’d been so keen to keep quiet about him.

“We met online,” she said slowly. Thankfully, putting Lockwood’s order together kept her hands busy and her brain occupied, which meant she had less energy to overthink how she’d explain her situation. “Met through a shared interest. We were— er, well, honestly we argued a lot, at first. I’m not sure how it turned into a friendship, but it did, and now we talk pretty regularly.”

“Every day,” Holly added.

“For…?”

Lucy shrunk in on herself slightly. “…Six months? Ish?”

Lockwood whistled, long and slow. “That’s quite a bit of time.”

“Exactly!”

“Holly, shut up,” Lucy said with very little venom. “We’re going to call. We’re going to talk. It’s not an issue.”

He leaned on the counter, watching her dust ginger onto his drink. “Right now?”

“What? No, not right now. That’d be mad.”

“Could be interesting.”

She slid the drink and plate over to him. “Don’t be nosey.”

“It’s in my nature, Luce.” He winked, taking a sip of his drink. “Gossip at heart.”

Lucy’s stomach did a funny flip. She playfully waved him off under the pretence she was in a rush to serve the next waiting customer, and was harshly reminded she forgot to put her phone on silent when her pocket was met with a barrage of vibrations.

As the atmosphere lulled once all customers had been served and seated, she returned to her chat with Skull. Most of it was pure gibberish, a poor attempt at grabbing her attention again by way of spam.

[Skull] did u fucking die??? [Joan] when will you get it into your thick skull that I have timed breaks [Joan] and once said timed breaks are over [Joan] I go back to work [Skull] yet here u r, still txting on the job [Skull] what a rebel u are, joanie [Skull] its cute u spend ur entire allocated free time talking 2 me [Skull] clearly u have ur priorities straight [Joan] if that were true I’d have blocked you ages ago [Skull] oh no, my ego [Skull] has PB swung round yet today [Joan] he just did [Skull] and? [Skull] come on. give me the details [Skull] don’t deprive me of the gossip [Joan] nothing really happened [Joan] he changed his order up [Joan] asked about you [Skull] he fucking what [Joan] my chatty coworker told him :/ [Joan] and he got curious [Skull] did u tell him abt my rock hard jawline, [Skull] rock hard abs, [Joan] stfu that wasn’t even funny the first time [Skull] lies + slander [Skull] what did u tell him [Joan] I didn’t expect you to care so much about what he thinks [Skull] i dont. [Skull] im looking for openings to bully him [Joan] I just told him how we ‘met’ [Skull] is that it?? [Skull] thats so fucking boring [Joan] I mean [Joan] we also briefly spoke about the whole Only Texting situation [Skull] christ. what did he say to that [Joan] he thought I was going to call you right there and then [Joan] on the shop floor [Skull] is he stupid [Joan] hypocrite [Skull] my intellect is vast and varied tyvm [Skull] y is everyone obsessed with the calling thing [Skull] whys it such a big deal

Lucy glanced at her phone sidelong as she wiped down the counters. Why was it such a big deal?

She dwelled on it for a moment or two, but was cut short at the sight of the whole screen lighting up with Incoming call: Skull.

At first, she simply stared. Pressing the red decline button would mean everything stayed as it was—no awkward first phone call, no pressure to make their casual, stupid online friendship something more meaningful, no caving to the expectations of the more socially well-adjusted people around her. But pressing the green pick up button would mean… well, it would mean talking to Skull. Like actual friends. What would they even talk about?

Curiosity gnawed away at her.

Lucy pressed the green button.

“You were staring at your phone wondering if you should pick up, weren’t you?”

She wasn’t sure what she expected Skull to sound like, but it wasn’t quite this. He didn’t sound significantly older or younger, though his voice had a slight rasp to it, and she could hear his smile—knowing him, it was more likely to be a smirk—through his words. It was unfamiliar, yet so undeniably Skull that she couldn’t help but smile a bit herself.

“No. I told you, I’m at work. Busy day.”

“Busy enough that you picked up the phone in the middle of your shift?”

She rolled her eyes fondly and signalled to Holly she’d be back in five minutes—emergency, she mouthed, gesturing to the phone at her ear—and Holly gave her a knowing look in return.

London’s wintery chill nipped at her skin as soon as she stepped outside, but the fresh air was nothing short of lovely.

She squinted up at the sky; grey clouds loomed overhead. “Why now? Why not call later?”

“Got sick of you awkwardly bringing it up over text,” he said, then added: “Wanted to see if you’d pick up.”

“Well, here I am. I picked up. Now what?”

A short pause. “You were the one that was so bothered by it all.”

“I wasn’t that bothered.”

“Er, yeah you fucking were. So, my voice: what’s the verdict? Are you swooning?”

She gave a harsh huff of laughter. “You bloody wish.”

“I can hear you moved outside. Needed some fresh air to cool your blush?”

“Shut up? You’re not funny. Besides, my voice is miles better. I bet you almost tripped over your own feet when I first spoke.”

“I’m nothing but elegant and graceful,” he said, playfully indignant, “even when faced with a really annoying, nasally voice.”

“Charming.”

A beat, then: “I didn’t know you were northern.”

A small, ugly snort escaped her as she contemplated this. At the beginning of their acquaintanceship they’d stuck to an unspoken rule of avoiding delving into their personal lives, but as time passed and they became more comfortable with brutally bullying each other under the guise of friendship, details had come out here and there. They were both English. She worked at a cafe. His go-to drink order was an espresso martini (I’d had you down as a guinness kind of guy, Lucy had said, to which he responded thats the worst fucking insult). The drops of info were random and sporadic, and ended up so Lucy knew Skull had a really stupid tattoo on his left arse cheek, but he didn’t know she was northern—and this, in her opinion, was downright hilarious.

“You do now,” she said. “Look, I really can’t talk for long. I already spend way too much of my shift on my phone.”

“This was an emergency,” Skull said dryly, “you had to succumb to social pressures and modern friendship conventions.”

Lucy huffed in disbelief. “Friendship?”

“Slip of the tongue. I meant rivalry.”

“Of course you did. Denial is not a good look— er, sound, on you.”

He scoffed playfully. “Don’t throw my own words back at me. It’s not my fault you’re desperate for my attention and companionship.”

“And it isn’t my fault you’re projecting.”

“Ooh, you’re pushing it,” he said, and Lucy really could hear his smile. “I could just hang up right now and never contact you again.”

She sighed wistfully. “That would truly be the dream.”

“A nightmare for you, more like. You couldn’t survive without m—”

Lucy took great satisfaction in hanging up on him, and waltzed back into the shop with a lazy smile on her face. To her surprise, it wasn’t Holly whose eye she caught first upon her return, but Lockwood’s. He narrowed his eyes for a moment before flashing a grin—it was his split-second of hesitation that made Lucy wonder if he’d been watching her call Skull through the window.

“So,” Holly drawled, leaning in close as Lucy returned behind the counter, “how was the emergency?”

“Awful. Three wounded, one fatality.”

Holly’s teasing smile froze; it was clear she still hadn’t fully accustomed to Lucy’s sense of humour.

“It was fine. It’s nice to just have that over and done with. Now I can stop thinking about it.”

“What was he like?”

“Exactly how he is over text— no, wait, his ego was actually more inflated. He’s a bit insufferable.”

“The smile on your face counteracts your words, Luce.” Holly playfully nudged her before diverting her attention to a waiting customer, and together they fell back into their routine. After the line had gone back down, she stole a glance at her phone, and held back a snort at the notifications waiting for her.

[Skull] how DARE you. how fucking dare you [Skull] next time we call I’m getting my revenge

[argumate]

Let's consider Tumblr through the lens of rationality and systematic analysis, as Eliezer Yudkowsky might. Tumblr isn't just a social platform; it's a complex ecosystem of ideas, memes, and human interactions, ripe for an examination through the principles of LessWrong and rationalist thought.

Firstly, Tumblr exemplifies the concept of an idea space, a community where beliefs, memes, and narratives propagate and evolve. It's a living experiment in memetics. Each post, each reblog, acts as a vector for the spread of ideas, subject to a form of natural selection. The most resonant, emotionally engaging, or simply amusing content proliferates, while less engaging content fades into obscurity. It's a fascinating, real-time study of human psychology and the dynamics of information flow.

However, Tumblr also presents a case study in the pitfalls of epistemic rationality. The platform's design encourages echo chambers, where users can curate their information feeds to align almost exclusively with their pre-existing beliefs. This selective exposure can reinforce biases and insulate users from confronting counter-evidence or alternative viewpoints, a phenomenon deeply at odds with the rationalist ideal of continually updating one's beliefs in accordance with new evidence.

Moreover, the discourse on Tumblr often features a high level of emotional investment and identity politics. While these are deeply human traits, they can sometimes lead to motivated reasoning and a departure from dispassionate, objective analysis. The intensity of the community's engagement with social justice issues, while admirable in its passion, often intertwines factual claims with value judgments in ways that can be analytically messy and resistant to straightforward rational evaluation.

Yet, despite these challenges, Tumblr also embodies the potential for collective intelligence and crowdsourced wisdom. It's a platform where, if navigated judiciously, one can encounter diverse perspectives, engage with complex narratives, and even stumble upon insightful analyses that cut through the noise.

In essence, Tumblr, through the lens of a rationalist like Yudkowsky, is a microcosm of broader societal dynamics, reflecting both the strengths and weaknesses of human cognition and social interaction. It's a sandbox for observing the machinations of memes, the dance of discourse, and the complex, often messy endeavor of human reasoning and belief formation.

[ChatGPT]

[lizardsfromspace]

RANDOM HALLOWEEN PLAYLISTS 2023

Hello here are my. Random HALLOWEEN RELEVANT video playlists. I like making playlists of random ephemera on Youtube and here's Some of That

HALLOWEEN: Halloween ephemera from the 70s to the 00s. Local commercial raps, horror promos, the Scooby Doo Project, it's mostly short videos and one three hour long Elvira MTV special I tacked on at the very end

HORROR SHORTS: it's...horror shorts. Should really update this one hmm

FREDDYMANIA!: pop culture detritus from the peak of the Freddy Krueger craze

HALLOWEEN FUNDIE FREAKOUTS: a short playlist of fundie anti-Halloween videos, plus "is horror hurting our kids?" scare stories.

...and while you're here

FORTEANA: A collection of paranormal videos of, uh, a dubious quality. Lens flares, odd video effects, and blurry VHS footage ahoy!

VIDEOS OF INTEREST: My biggest playlist, a collection of "weird" videos. What does that mean? Everything from literal cult music videos to obscure meme videos to public access talent shows.

[comfortless]

Hey! What were your favorite books/authors growing up and what are they currently if you don't mind me asking? I would love to know where you get your inspo from cause you write so pretty

hello!! ohhh.. i love this question it’s so cute. thank you for the compliment and for asking! 💞 apologies for my rambling heheh

growing up, i was never allowed to read most… popular series because my mother went through an extremely religious phase until i was a teenager. dodged the bullet of succumbing to Harry Potter and the like, so i always found myself in the library reading the most obscure things!

i obsessively read the Deltora Quest books by Emily Rodda most of all. the covers were so sick. i can’t recall which one it happened in, but when the main trio all had their toes chopped off?? i do not think 8 year old me should have been reading that, but i was obsessed with dragons as any other kid should be! it lead me to reading The Inheritance Cycle series by Christopher Paolini, too. anything fantasy that was a bit odd held my attention. The Pricker Boy by Reade Scott Whinnem, The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster, and all of the Moomin books by Tove Jansson were some other favorites!

i also read a lot of fairytales (to the surprise of no one, i’ll bet) and The Mabinogion. i still go back and reread those whenever i can. The White Cat is one of my many favorites!

as an adult i do not get to read much, unfortunately. so, i do sort of feel that my writing is a bit stunted at times. i was combing through a lot of Mercedes Lackey’s stuff for a little while. and recently, i finished The Devil All the Time by Donald Ray Pollock. a coworker gave me Twilight Eyes by Dean Koontz and whereas I do not care for his writing that much… parts of that particular book were really intriguing to me. poetry is nice too, always, but if anyone were to ask me for a list of my favorite poets i think that i would combust <- so many things in my brain and i can not remember most unless i’ve obsessively read over their work 90 times minimum sorry.

but….

i think that most of my inspiration comes from music with lyrics that capture me and long bouts of daydreaming, nowadays. i also like to visit abandoned places or overgrown parks when i need a place to think or just… feel for ambience. my favorite places in the world right now are this huuuge swamp full of alligators with a tiny cemetery that’s at least two hundred years old (like fifteen people have died there in the last decade & i will never be one of them) and a park that houses a supposed werewolf (no matter how many treats i bring it is yet to be seen… pain… but it is dreadfully silent there and a park keeper once told me “watch out!! that thing is big and super ugly!!” which i think is very funny). i would not recommend doing things like that however unless you are of similar stature to me (insert chad meme) or go with a group!! do not get eaten by a giant dogman, please.

in conclusion I am NOT immune to good cover art or the appeal of pretending to be a lil knight in the old wood…

^ syl reveal pt 2

[velvetfoxgames]

It’s long distance relationship time! How would each of the LIs fare, and in what ways will they show affection (video calls, mailing gifts, weird memes at weird hours)?

I have a mental image of Tobias whining to his partner on call cause he’s touch-starved 😂

Alexei - Very informative about his day. "I just got off the bus" "I'm lying down to sleep" "I had an apple for a snack." Sends good morning and good night messages without fail. It's a little rough for him to be away from you for long.

Brooklyn - Dedicated to daily phone calls with you. Sends lots of gifts and care packages. Schedules out frequent visits. After he's seen you, he's in a good mood for a while, but then starts to get a bit sulky.

Leo - Constantly sending you stuff - memes, selfies, random photos he took. Records cute voice messages for you. Tries to be upbeat, but sometimes you can tell he's sad because he misses you a lot.

Milo - Messages you at odd hours and sends obscure memes. Big fan of video calls so he can see your face. Won't tell you when he's coming for a visit so he'll just show while you're out and about. You probably wouldn't be able to tell, but he hates long distance.

Rory - Likes to have you on the phone/video call for long periods, not even talking necessarily, but just so you're 'there' while he does stuff. Sends you the sweetest homemade gifts. He's pretty lonely without you.

Tobias - Oh yeah, very needy and touch-starved. So many risqué selfies. Video calls. Won't be able to stand it after a few days and will schedule a flight out to see you.

[odd-and-obscure-memes]

[adobe-outdesign]

Thoughts on the new paradoxes? They’re pretty disappointing ngl

(This is a special celebratory review in honor of the new Pokemon Day content. Reviews after this will return to the usual earliest-first to latest order.)

I'll start with Iron Leaves seeing as it's the least interesting of the two. Unsurprisingly, it's Virizion, But A Robot(TM), same as all the other Violet paradoxes. I've already discussed how boring this is from a character design standpoint, so I won't waste too much time reiterating that point here.

Visually, it's... Virizion, but a robot. Once again, not a lot to say. The most I can point out is that the pink stripe on the head is a nice change from Virizion's black, and I like the darker, higher-contrast green color here.

While we're here, I might as well compare this to the sketch in the books. I do think this concept was a bit awkward—mostly due to the short, chunky legs, which connected to the body in an incredibly awkward way—but I also feel like the idea of blending the three versions together is much more interesting, given that it's actually a robot with a unique design instead of the exact same design we already had. We have other "fusion" Violet paradoxes (such as Iron Valiant), so it's not like this would've been out of place. Like I said, what we got isn't bad per say; it's just very "meh".

Also, it looks absolutely ridiculous with the swords out.

I think I accidentally gave people the impression that I hated Walking Wake when I made a meme comparing it to the original sketch design. I do prefer the concept art much more, for reasons I'll get into in a bit, but this design isn't even close to the worse past paradox (I'll give that honor to Flutter Mane, on the grounds of it being too similar to the original design). I have issues with it, but it gets points for originality if nothing else.

Conceptually, Walking Wake's a bit... odd, given that it's Suicune, But A Raptor(TM). While all of the past paradoxes have prehistoric traits to them, they usually make sense for the base Pokemon (Koraidon and Roaring Moon have feathers because they're dragons/reptiles, Brute Bonnet is based off of prehistoric plant life, Slither Wing is a larval form of sorts, etc.). It's kind of jarring to have something that goes off in such an odd direction; it's hard to even see this as a Suicune relative (which, to be fair, it is a paradox 'mon and isn't supposed to make sense lore-wise, but I'm talking visuals here).

I think part of what makes it so strange is that there are plenty of quadrupedal dinosaurs, dragons, and reptiles out there, so there wasn't really a reason to give it a raptor-like shape. A quadrupedal past Suicune with lizard elements would still look different from modern-day Suicune without feeling quite as jarring.

In terms of the design itself, it's fine. I actually like the lower body a lot—the twin tails look a lot better and much more natural than Suicune's weird backwards-facing ribbon tails, and the markings and colors are well-balanced. The head is also fine.

However, I think the mane is WAY too huge; it obscures way too much of the body and draws far more attention to itself than the head, despite the head having the horns on it. (The purple color doesn't help here, but too be fair regular Suicune has that issue so I can't blame Walking Wake for that.) If the mane just wrapped around the shoulders and down the back or something that would be one thing, but this is just awkward and clunky. It also has the unfortunate effect of making the arms look much further down on the body than they actually are.

As previously mentioned, I'm a big fan of this concept sketch. I like that it's a fusion of all three beasts (it's strange to just have Suicune and nothing else; same goes for Virizion up there), and it looks incredibly powerful and ancient. The mane is maybe still a skosh too much (though less problematic here because it doesn't hide as much of the underlying anatomy) and the ribbon tails feel a little out of place, but this was otherwise a solid design, and it's a shame we'll likely never see it realized. Like I said though, I can at least respect Walking Wake for creativity, as there's more originality in that design than this one at least.

Anyway, overall: Iron Leaves doesn't have anything technically wrong with it but it's very bland and boring, like most of the future Paradoxes. Walking Wake is much more original, even if I find the sudden shift in species strange and a bit awkward. Overall, I prefer the concept art for both, but what we got was by no means terrible.

[usergreenpixel]

JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 32: DANTON (1983)

1. The Introduction

Hello, fellow Citizens!

(Insert the “fellow kids” meme)

I’m back with a freshly made review for today’s meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention! I apologize for all the delays but a series of unlucky events in my personal life made everything too much of a shitshow.

Anyway, luckily I’m doing better now so let’s proceed with the meeting. Grab drinks and snacks and enjoy yourselves while we begin.

Before we get to the actual review, I have to say that reviewing this movie had been on my list pretty much ever since I joined the community and saw those lizard cake memes. Luckily, the entire thing is on YouTube, in French but with English subtitles as an option in the settings.

However, I also kept avoiding it because I wanted to dip my feet into the world of obscure media and also because I was afraid that this movie would idolize Danton (who was a fucking creep historically, even by the standards of the time).

Unfortunately, upon watching the movie itself I realized that my fear was more than justified. Not only that, but I believe it’s supposed to be some kind of political commentary on 80s Poland… a commentary that completely flew over my head because I didn’t live in that time period and it’s not my forte at all.

But, since it’s a Polish movie and half the cast is Polish, I dedicate the review to @edgysaintjust and to all the other Polish folks in my audience. Perhaps you guys can enlighten me on the political context while I voice my opinion on the movie as a work of fiction.

Okay, let’s fucking go before I bore you to death.

2. The Story

The movie is about Danton’s fall from grace, trial of the Dantonists and their execution. I believe @frevandrest made posts about the trial but it was very much a sham and a mess hotter than dog shit in summer.

Personally, I found the storyline quite easily digestible but it takes a more black-and-white approach that, in my opinion, does the real event a disservice.

Danton and Co are portrayed mostly in the positive light (more on that later) as the real advocates of the people and are juxtaposed with the tyrannical and radical dictatorship of Robespierre and the Committee, even though here Robespierre is a more complex character than in some other works of fiction.

Thankfully the plot is very much to the point with very little filler that felt unnecessary so props to the crew for doing an overall good job and not even thermidorizing everything as much as I feared they would!

For instance, we don’t have Robespierre actively gloating as Danton is being led to the guillotine or watching everything (because he didn’t watch and gloat in real life either) and there are hints that he actually has less power than other media ascribes to him.

Unfortunately, there’s still the idolization of Danton and other instances of thermidorization with a serving of homophobic subtext on the side, which left a bad taste in my mouth.

3. The Characters

Okay, let’s get one thing out of the way. Danton was too perfect for me to find him likable, especially knowing what I know about his historical counterpart. And when I say “too perfect”, I’m talking almost Gary Stu levels. Luckily not quite there, but the movie lets you know that it was probably sponsored by Dantonists.

Danton is the advocate and friend of the people who defends them and doesn’t want to be at odds with Robespierre, no matter how much a few of his supporters may attempt to provoke him to overthrow Robespierre (which wouldn’t do much irl, but oh well).

There are instances of Danton being a womanizer, but his creepy side is REALLY glossed over and on the poster the light around his head reminds me of halos of Catholic saints. That’s all well and good, but I didn’t sign up for an attempt at hagiography.

Robespierre, as I mentioned, is surprisingly complex. Despite being pressured into having Danton executed, he does resist as long as possible and really doesn’t want to take such measures. He’s also very accurately portrayed as sickly and he tries to make peace with Camille Desmoulins.

Oh, and he really regrets that the executions took place and it seems like he believes that he betrayed his ideas and the people of France.

Honestly, not the worst take on Robespierre but my feelings are complicated.

Eleonore Duplay is… something else.

She is an ardent Republican with a dash of the “jealous girl” trope. Her first scene has her forcing a boy to recite The Declaration of the Rights of Man and Citizen and smacking him for getting it wrong (I think it’s supposed to be her younger brother?) but she also slaps a housekeeper for looking at Robespierre.

Eleonore does have a caring side though. She genuinely cares about Robespierre and supports him, so I kind of liked it but the character assassination is still unforgivable. *screams into the void*

SJ is portrayed as a stereotypically effeminate man and there’s a lot of gay subtext between him and Robespierre. Oh, and he’s also the one who pressures Max to be more radical which gives me LRF vibes. Fantastic… SJ can’t catch a break yet again. Excuse me while I’m going to bash in my damn skull.

To sum up, I didn’t find any character likable and a lot of portrayals were bungled to fit the political message.

4. The Acting

Some actors get really hammy, like the actress who played Lucille Desmoulins. Linda as SJ has his moments as well, but I liked the acting overall, especially in Pszoniak and Seweryn’s cases (Oh look, Seweryn is in Frev media yet again!).

Depardieu was fine as Danton. Just… fine. I don’t like him as an actor much but he was a good choice.

Unfortunately, the casting choices are hit and miss because at times the actors look NOTHING like the people they’re portraying. Other times the fits are great.

5. The Setting

Luckily there’s no mullets like in LRF and everything looks more or less accurate. I genuinely liked the settings. But the food at the restaurant scene… let’s just say I wouldn’t eat it… it looked weird.

6. The Soundtrack

Nothing outstanding, unfortunately. I don’t have much to say here though.

7. The Conclusion

My feelings are complicated. I did like some casting choices and the setting, but the movie idolizes a corrupt creep and dips its feet into homophobia and inaccuracies. Plus the political aspect is just too in the face and the character assassination makes me want to pull my hair out.

But hey, at least we have lizard cake memes! Still not enough to compensate for my wasted time though. I don’t recommend this movie. Read about the actual trial instead please.

Okay, with that out of my system, I declare today’s meeting officially finished. Thank you for your patience and support and stay tuned!

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel

[the-red-thread-that-strangles]

4. 8. 6. 9. (tee hee)

alternatively, 14. 1. 2.

I know who you are and I hope you're feeling clever. Because you are <3

Alright, let's see.

For the ask meme here

4. Pairing that makes no sense to you?

You're coming out of the gate swinging, huh.

This is a really difficult question, because usually I can at least see where people come from. And even when I don't, I also love myself some crack ships.

Nothing really comes to mind immediately. I guess I've seen Vermouth/Akai that doesn't make too much sense to me?

8. Fandom you're a part of that's the most obscure?

There's Kyou Kara Maou (Demon King From Today!) that I love dearly. It does have an Ao3 tag though, so I guess it's not that obscure?

Hmmmm. I guess I like Ten Dance (a ballroom dancing yaoi manga) for its loving depiction of the ballroom dancing scene and the fun dynamic between the characters. That's pretty niche, let's go with that.

6. Favourite Headcanon?

I'm very fond of the Rei-as-an-orphan-in-foster-care headcanon, even though word of god kind of opposes it. It would just explain a lot of why he is the way he is.

And because picking just one is hard, have another favourite of mine: AkAm, but in particular Akai, don't have many scars. Every injury sustained is one they cannot really afford (makes them weaker, takes time to recover, etc etc.), and so mission planning would be very important. I think they're simply too capable to have many scars at all. (Makes those few they do have that much more important). Rei probably does have a few more than Akai, because he's more exposed to the frontlines and keeps throwing himself into danger, while Akai keeps his distance. Being an archer sniper and all.

9. Fandom you're a part of that's the most well-known?

I would count the number of fics on Ao3 as a metric, but I'm pretty confident I don't need to in order to figure out it's One Piece (by a landslide).

DCMK is also massive, but I don't think it could hold a candle to OP.

.

This is fun, so I'll also do the other ones.

.

14. Fandom you keep returning to?

The fandom cycle is a strange and incomprehensible thing, but usually once something has touched my heart, I'll always return sooner or later. (Unless I age out of a fandom - I'm not a teen anymore, and it is somewhat awkward reading about them, so I don't.)

Best example for this is probably One Piece as well; I've known it since I was about 6-8 years old, and I always come back to it eventually. It's just that good. (Though I mostly return to the series and barely read fanworks, these days.)

1. What is the first fandom you were ever a part of?

Depends how one defines being a part of fandom, I think.

The first fandom I can remember reading fanfic of was Yu-Gi-Oh, though odds are One Piece or OHSHC are my actual firsts.

The first fandom I owned merch of was One Piece.

The first fandom I wrote fanfic for was One Piece as well (a terrible Christmas gift fic for a friend who nevertheless enjoyed it; but I promised myself I would never again write fanfic. And now look where you got me almost a decade later, anonymous asker who I shall not name).

The first fandom I made fanart for was Disco Elysium.

2. Most recent fandom you joined?

I guess the most recent one would be Ghost Trick.

Before that, does the AkAm subfandom count? Because it doesn't really have a lot to do with the rest of the DCMK fandom.

And before that, the last one that really held me in a grasp was Disco Elysium.

.

That was fun, thank you for asking, mysterious not-stranger <3

[lehdenlaulu]

lestat and armand for the ship meme if you havent gotten em already because OBVIOUSLY!

Yasssss. I counted on you. 😆

Okay, these might be a little obvious, but here goes:

who’s the cuddler: 

I feel like both of them are. And while Louis and Daniel for example accept their clinginess without complaint, I feel like with each other – once they got over themselves – it would be like... limbs tangled, fingers entwined or threaded into hair, faces nuzzled into crooks of necks, as close as physically possible. A whole-ass vampire Gordian knot. You know?

who makes the bed:

Armand. Lestat, bless his black little heart, is 100% a slob.

who wakes up first:

Hmm. Armand. He probably stays snuggled into Lestat for a good while, though.

who has the weird taste in music:

C'mon, anything weird is Armand's domain. Lestat loves music and gamely tries to be as adventurous as possible, but Armand still manages to hyperfixate on some obscure Peruvian doom metal that is played almost entirely on pan flutes or something and Lestat has to admit defeat.

who is more protective:

ARMAND. I mean, it's not that Lestat doesn't have sometimes even somewhat patronizingly protective feelings towards Armand, but... Canonically, not only is he Lestat's own personal guardian devil (come on, he even met Daniel because he trespassed on Lestat's resting place), he'll happily tear the head off anyone who even looks at any of his loved ones wrong, and probably use their skulls as decoration as well. Maybe eat their soul for good measure, you never know with him.

who sings in the shower:

Lestat. Obviously.

who cries during movies:

Lestat is a world-famous champion weeper, but I bet there's something completely unexpected that will get Armand misty-eyed. Or not so unexpected. Maybe he has cried once or twice while watching Blade Runner. Maybe he can relate.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Hmm. I feel like Lestat, an extravagant extrovert, enjoys the act of shopping more, but Armand is just as good if not better at burning money on things (and then abandoning them or forgetting they exist).

who kisses more roughly:

Huh. I don't think there's a clear-cut answer to this one. Their canonical kisses are all, IIRC, rather tender, sweet, or casual. I think Armand might get a bit more bitey, but not exactly rough, not with Lestat. 🤔

who is more dominate:

Again, there's no simple answer because their power dynamic is overall particularly complicated, nor do I think you can really separate the (semi-)sexual power dynamics from their overall power dynamics.

I mean, Armand is canonically a switch, and I always got the vibe from Lestat that he's probably too when it comes down to it. And then there's that whole aspect of odd mutual... deference, I could say, that has elements of worship. And I mean... Lestat looks a lot like Marius, which I'm sure initially absolutely messed with Armand's head, especially in those circumstances, so there's that. And Lestat on the other hand will probably always be a little bit in awe of Armand, in all meanings of the word. So I'll just say that it would probably take some time for them to find a balance that works for both of them.

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 

Honestly, can I even give them anything but 10? I don't know if they were originally my 'favourite ship', as I think my teenage self sort of went "right, these guys don't operate by any traditional human relationship conventions so 'shipping' something would be a bit silly" (okay I did have a soft spot for Marius and Pandora, but I digress). But I'm sure I always found them fascinating. Because... come on. All hyperbole aside, who is doing it like them?? Two centuries plus of drama, devotion, and... defenestrations? I could say so much more and pull so many quotes, but let's just leave it with: "Does anyone else know the size of your soul?"