#oceans 8 fanfic

[mirandapriestlyswife]

Is Rophne even relevant anymore

[marilynthornhilllover]

When you call my name, do you think I’ll come running?

Chapter 8 : semi-final

A/n: Alright people it is exactly ( 21 ) days before Christmas, and as promised here is chp 8, 9 and the epilogue is in the works, i do wanna give my utmost appreciation again for everything who’s showed interest and love to this series, you guys are my world :) <3. { read chapter 7 here }

- “we’re all just walking each other home”

- “ I wasn’t afraid of death because she was all I ever wanted from life”

‘Although it’s a castle that’s had almost twenty generations live through it, for the first time in nearly a century castle Dimitrescu stood silently upon it’s hills. But it’s big stone brick structure masked the sadness, rage, divinity, despair, fear and mass destruction of those who laid within. The temperature is dropping, it’s getting colder. Winter is coming.’

‘It’s that time of the year again. On one side of the world families celebrated Christmas, opened presents, kiss under a thin piece of leaf they call a mistletoe, sing chorus’s of joy and dance with their partners and kiss their children with hope that the new year may be kind to them.’

‘I wished I was on that side of the world, where love bloomed. Instead I have to be caged within a stone castle and pray to the gods above that no one uses my weakness to their advantage — Ethan would be known for that. That stupid man thing ruined everything for mother. I wish to see her more vibrant, with natural light. That girl thing gave her light — made her…. Smile. I’ve never seen mother smile before, unless she's taking a life.’

‘She’s always so stern and utterly emotionless. No tears are ever evident in those bright yellow Romanian eyes. She hides her pain deep within, so deep it clawed it’s way in her and made her it’s host, she’s a home to her own pain. She drowns in it rather than lives with it.’

‘Even when life hurts mom still chooses to carry that heaviness for us, just so one sees her crumble from the weight of it all.’

‘I’ve once dreamt of a normal life before but never will it come so I find solace in killing those that have it all, but there is an ache in my heart for the imagined beauty of a life I haven't had the chance to have, to live, from which had been taken away, and the ache of it —it never goes away.’

“Cassandra!” The sound of Alcina’s voice thundered from downstairs startling Cassandra, her breath hitch and immediately she flew to her feet, sprinting across the room she dashed the small handheld notebook diary under her vanity before disappearing into flies.

Appearing downstairs she stood quietly before her mother. Even the weight of barring her presence alone was suffocating.

“ yes mother?” her voice cracked slightly as she greeted Alcina praying that the sound didn’t travel all the way to her mothers ears but Alcina was a sharp woman. Slightly turning her head, she studied the girl’s form from over her shoulder.

“ I’ll be in my chambers for the rest of the afternoon, I’m tired, ensure all the doors and windows are well boarded for your sisters, please when you’re finished you can probably go tend to the grape vines down in the cellar ,make sure they are at least the only healthy souls in this place…..” the raven haired woman whispered and before Cassandra knew it her mother had already disappeared from in front of her . Alcina knew that some brave soul would always sneak into the castle at this exact time when she prone to take an afternoon rest.

It’s like they knew of her daily schedule more than she even knew it, though she never noticed anything going missing she knew they had to be looking for something more important. The key…..

So she hid a fake duplicate under the lamp on the bedside table and pretended to be asleep. She waited for a while, and a while and a while more but eventually she ended up accidentally falling into deep slumber. She was tired — An old restless soul.

She was awaken by a soft thud and a quieted groan from across the room that she thought was a dream but then the sound of her balcony door clicking alerted every cell in her body that this was reality. She laid there as still as can be, listening to the shallow footsteps. There was a faint creaking in the floor boards that resulted in a sudden pause before they continued. As they got closer alcina prepared her attack. With the closest proximity of the last step towards the dresser she pulled out her claws.

“ wait! Wait! Wait! P-please don’t!” Alcina’s movement came to a quick halt when her eyes bared witness to a small fragile red haired and greened eyed girl. Alcina closed her eyes and sighed heavily. When she reopened them she swore she could see more clearly. Must be the fatigue. The girl that stood before her was shivering like a lost puppy left to a pack of wolves. Poor girl almost got shredded to pieces, but she wouldn’t have went to waste…. Alcina would have made sure of it. The young ones are always the sweetest.

But She’s not a monster.

The girl’s breathing got more shallow before she erupted into a fit of short hyperventilation and a limb shaking mess. Alcina quickly removed herself from the arms of her bed and wrapped the girl up in her embrace.

“ hush now child. What troubles you? What is your name?” She questioned and the girl replied with a faint “ Annie ”. Alcina nodded before she gently released the girl.

“ Annie ” she muttered to herself, She pondered a while before her gaze flicked up to Annie’s “what adventures include you being here, at this hour?” The girl bit her lips embarrassed and looked away, skeptical of her answer —choosing it wisely.

“ I’m apart of this survival winter club where we challenge our friends to do experimenting dares and last one to come back alive wins, mine was to steal one of your French red lipstick from your drawer” the girl whispered, looking everywhere but at the woman above her. Alcina’s eyebrow quirked before she released a small pathetic scoff.

“ so this…. Winter death club, it never occurred to you that maybe none of you would come back alive?, especially if you keep it up in this territory of mines?” Alcina asked slowly getting irritated. She looked down at the child and smirks before rising to her feet.

“ you are a lucky one dra—“ she immediately stops herself. Draga…. Such a small with a grand hidden meaning.

“ has it ever occurred to you that you’re tall as fuck lady?” Annie mutters to herself, maybe a little too loud. Breaking Alcina from her racing thoughts, her eyes snap downwards as her mouth opens in a small “o”.

“ young lady have you parents never thought you to have manners and respect for your elders!? or have you forgotten just who you stand before” Alcina says quietly but her tone doesn’t waver from it’s firmness.

“ no ma’am my parents are dead anyways, all i have is y/n” Annie states, sloughing her shoulders. Alcina’s body immediately tensed. Was she dreaming? Was she sleeping? Was she hallucinating? It’s almost been a year since you left her heart to go find wood for the fire that you ignited and never returned, she remembered and remembering was like an open wound. She wanted to go look for you like the last time when you had gone missing from her clasp but she found endless comfort in hiding.

Afraid of what she might find.

She wished you would return, even if it was as a shadow, even if it was as a dream. Alcina felt many different heartaches and lost throughout her lifetime but nothing compares to losing you and every night before she laid her head to rest the thought of you not being besides her, safe and happy tore her apart— it clung to her, it haunted her. But she knew you’d return, searching for the woman you loved, not the monster you saw.

Is there another life? Shall she awake and find all this a dream? There must be—she cannot be created for this sort of suffering but when can alcina ever say your name and have it mean only your name and not the catastrophe you cause in her weeping heart.

“ you ok?” Annie asked and alcina just nodded.

“ I’ve gotta get back before it gets dark” she spoke up again, this time louder because she saw the faraway look in Alcina’s eyes.

“ I shall accompany you back, my lycans don’t attack when I’m around because they know my scent, you can’t not die by my hands but die by my works” Alcina affirmed sarcastically, grabbing her coat from it’s rack before accompanying the girl out side and into the woods.

“ we actually don’t live far from here” Annie said breaking the silence, also hoping to lighten the mood. Alcina only nodded before she quickly drifted way in her thoughts again. Annie continued walking but kept glancing up at Alcina’s face now and then, studying her almost.

“ are you always this kind? I don’t mean it in a rude way but people talk…. They say things only imaginable in the movies…. You know the ones where there are monsters” Annie whispered almost to herself, but she quickly slapped her hand over her mouth after realizing that she let one of her deeper inner thoughts escape. Alcina’s feet stopped dead in their tracks, looking down at the girl before bending to her level. She wasn’t sure what to say…. If you were hear you’d had the right words prepared. That’s one thing alcina loved about you, your mind was a person if it’s own. She wondered for a moment if the person whose name you called was really you. Surely some people had similar names. What if it was someone else…. Maybe she was just being stupid. But you’d want her to try. To keep fighting. To keep looking within.

Alcina rose to her feet and sighed, looking ahead in the distance.

“ how much further?” She asked glancing down at Annie.

“ just a few more quarter trees” she answered. Alcina chuckled softly and shook her head looking at the girl in disbelief.

“ what?!” Annie asked pouting and subconsciously stomping her feet.

“ nothing my dear , it’s just rare to find cleaver girls like you in this……” Alcina paused, she didn’t know what anything was anymore, she was suddenly at a lost for words. she didn’t know if she should say world or lifetime or generation or earth. She just missed you. Half of her is missing, and what’s left is missing you. You were her other half.

Annie refrained from speaking and even looking at Alcina for the rest of the journey. Until the finally got to the house. It was a good size cottage. At the back was a little garden and at the front had porch chairs. The house looked modern and well kept. Alcina hummed in delight and followed the little girl inside. Upon entry Alcina noticed that it was even more spectacular. It was like those mini castles you saw in cartoons. And the aroma was majestic. The smell of plane citrus and lavender, mixed with something of olden spice.

“ she’ll probably be back later, I’m gonna go haunting for some fruits— I’m feeling berries but I’ll see, I’ll be back later, promise not to break anything?” Annie asked. And alcina just pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at the girl.

“ right…. Anyway I’m off!” She squeaked before disappearing out the door again.

“ promise not to break anything” Alcina repeated in a mocking tone, as she scoffed before getting up. Alcina couldn’t blame herself though, in the girl’s eyesight she probably had a pacifier and two ponytails, how ironic. Alcina looked around and a sign caught her eyes. It looked like Annie’s room, it was a light pink door decorated with stickers and hanged at the top was a dirty white piece of a paper that read.

‘it’s A-NEE not AN-EE, get it right bitches’

How old was this girl again? 10?, 12? Alcina thought to herself. She couldn’t help the smile that creeped up her face though. She reminded her of Daniela when she was younger. alcina sighed, she felt an familiar weight being placed on her shoulders once more, so she knew it was time for her to take her leave. on her way out she left Annie a lipstick stained napkin on the kitchen door post. the walk back to castle dimitrescu was silent, lyncans could be heard growling in the distance as the night sky grew colder.

For a moment alcina was drowning in her thoughts. Annie wasn’t a too bad of a kid. She was a brave one, she’ll give her that. But Annie’s break in was only today….. that meant that she’s not the culprit for the regular break in’s. And whoever was behind it was still searching for what ever they were looking for. Her thoughts raced and she could feel her heart beat kick out at the split thought of mother Miranda. She shook off the feeling of fear and doubt and decided to take the shorter root home.

“ Good afternoon my lady” Alcina was greeted at the door by her new head maid Fatimah, an old pridful lady who sevred almost 35 years in the military. she had a lighting like scar over her left eye and her skin was twice as pale as Alcina’s, her hair was as dark as midnight and her eyes twinkled with a shift of pure emptiness. At first glance it wasn't possible to know if she was alive or dead, for in her eyes stirred darkness and light, the contrast of both somehow always seemed to outweigh eachother, cutting her a victim of both.

“ the girls have eaten already…. without you” Fatimah spoke extending her hand out to give alcina a neat blue liquid pill and a small glass of water. alcina took the pill and placed it between her lips, pausing for a small moment before she silently agreed with herself to swallow it without the water. her body twitched as the pill pasted through her body and reacted aggressively with her cells in an instant. Inside was a raging war, the monster that laid within fought against it’s restraints every chance it got. It was clawing its way out, it was killing her slowly. Alcina’s hand flew to Fatimah’s wrist for stability, knocking the glass out of her hands causing it to crash loudly on the floor beneath them.

“ i’ll have the buttler prepare you a visit to get more pills from Madam Leila l'assistant first thing tomorrow. it’s either that or you pay….. the other one a visit, the choice is yours, time is of the essence and if wasted you will not be guaranteed a safe transfer of power between this thing inside you any longer” Fatimah whispered, now holding alcina with her last remaining ounce of strength. Alcina groans as her body faills her completely as she falls helplessly to the ground.

“my lady let me help you-” she reaches her hand out to help alcina but she swats her hand away, and stumbles to her feet by herself.

“ this is the price i must pay, it has no cure ,someone else has to pay the price for me, so I’m afraid you cannot help me” Alcina growls again before her neck tics, and her arm twitches as discolored veins can be seen quickly passing through the underneath of her thin pale skin. she whimpers before walking pass Fatimah to make her way upstairs to her chambers. But before she got far enough away Fatimah reached out and grabbed her upper arm.

“ it doesn't have to be this way, my lady” she uttered with a heavy heart, sighing softly.

“ I'm afraid that is the way it must be” were the last two sentences exchanged between the two women before alcina finally disappeared into the distance. when she got to her room she was about to turn the knob when she realized that the door was already slightly ajar. her face contorted into confusion and panic nestled inside her.

pushing the door open her heart dropped and she felt for the first time fear taking over her body, the fear she saw on her vicims face was now running through her veins and it’s been living inside her since you failed to return but now you were sitting on the edge of her bed. Dressed in all black, you had cut your hair and dyed it jet black, your skin was white with tiny evident scars on your neck, and oh how dead your eyes looked, they no longer held the spark that gave alcina the strength to go on even now.

“ we need to talk my love….” were the only words you trusted yourself to say because you felt as if you were to have said more you would fall apart before her and all of this trauma would be for nothing. Alcina felt sick, physically sick, maybe emotionally too. She didn’t want to believe that you were actually alive, at least part of her. Because forcing herself to believe that you were dead had already brought her a sense of comfort that she wanted to hold on to. But there was still a part of her that clung to the memories of you with all the remaining living cells and functioning cells she had left.

Even though your entire body was shaking with adrenaline you somehow managed to stand to your feet and you fought hard to keep your tears at bay.

“ aren’t you going say anything?” Your voice was barely above a whisper and you could feel the blood rushing to your veins as you heard the thudding of your heart beat in your ears. You saw the way her face scrunched up as her hand quickly made it’s way to her stomach as the other clutched the nearest surface for stability. The room fell silent for a while and the tension began to rise but before you could speak up again she beats you to it.

“ I didn’t kill her— y- your mother, I didn’t kill her draga” she muttered weakly before she slowly started approaching you. You didn’t know why you released a deep sigh, you knew that already— well you had a feeling but hearing her say it gave you the reassurance your soul needed.

“ but— I’m dying my love” what…. She’s what…. It— no it’s not possible It can’t be, hearing that was like a brutal kick to the gut. Alcina probably saw the pain of the realization slowly making it’s way to your brain so that’s when she held your face into the palm of her hands and whispered it again.

“ no. No!, no stop it, stop lying to me!” You grabbed her wrist and shoved her away but she didn’t move, she just stood there…. Clearly in pain from something internal, she was suffering…. Right in front of you too, alcina was known as a woman of hiding her pain but now….. You shook your head again in disbelief , you refused to believe that the love of your life was dying. Suddenly your whole world fell apart again. Your chest hurt and everytime you inhaled a sharp burning sensation took over your body and your vision went weak from the tears that began to flow from your eyes uncontrollably.

You felt alcina wrap her arms around you and cradled your head as she swayed your back and forth gently. You sobbed into her neck and held onto her for dear life, because who knows this might just be the last time you do. Alcina pulled back and pressed a gentle kiss against your lips and softly caressed your cheek.

“ we need to talk” she urged, but this time it’s she that’s saying it to you, and hers sounded more serious. She intertwined her hands in yours and quickly guided you out of the room and down through a hallway you’ve never seen before. She leads you to this big stone like sliver door and knocks three times, after a while the door opens by itself, she guides you through and you almost vomit at the stench that filled your nose. You pulled back a little bit Alcina gave you a firm tug that had you continuing to follow her down some narrow stairs and into a dungeon like room.

The room was barely lit with a dozen candles and in the center laid a big table. Around were tall shelves that reached all the way up to the ceiling sunlight window. It was old and Erie. You sneezed two times when alcina dusted off a big giant book and placed it on the table in front of the both of you . She gave you a weak smile before she then had the fire place roaring to life, adding some warmth to the room. And of course more light because two bats angrily flew pass the both of you and ventured to soar higher up into the ceiling.

Alcina patted the stool beside her and you immediately followed suit and sat beside her. You looked at the table to see little lines and mark engraved in it and the closer you looked the more you realized that it was a map of Romania and what looked like a big under tunnel leading to another big city that had it’s own map.

You were broken from your trance when you hear alcinas voice.

“ vremurile străvechi “ she croaked, it’s been a while since you heard her speak Romanian, and she’s still as good as you remembered.

“ what’s that?” you questioned, turning to face her. She gestured her head towards the book and you glanced at it. It was a huge book nonetheless, dusty, it was green but the color was faded to a light grayish green but then name “ the ancient times” was still written on it in gold.

“ it’s the name the black god gave to this book…. It has everything anyone ever needs to know about ancient Romania, before the Cold War, the Spanish flu, the blood wars, the red plague and the stone black ages.” You gasped clearly intrigued as she went on.

“ this book is our history. For what happened and for what is to come….” She mumbled, quickly glancing away before she cleared her throat.

“ I’m gonna say some stuff and I need you to pay close attention to every word that comes out of my mouth ok?” She pressed urgently and you nodded quickly in confirmation, searching her eyes for clarity. She sighed and sat up straight.

“ I got infected when the Cold War had broken out, the disease I suffer from is called mortem in Latin….. it means death, it’s in the ancient book it’s known as the Arachno-arthropod. I got infected from a lycan bite and was left to die, but Miranda had made a promise to my mother to protect me at all cost so she preserved my life and turned me into this….. thing that lives within the walls of me. Which causes me to have Porphyria.” She pauses a while and allows the information to register into your brain, she searches your eyes for comprehension and when she found a hint of it she continued.

“ this thing…. Doesn’t have a name, it was formed by the Cadou mold Miranda used on me as an experiment. All I know is that it’s a parasitic dragon that’s blood hungry and once out…. All of humanity will be lost. It kills everything in it’s path…. It’s been sleeping for as long as I’ve become immortal, Miranda made sure of that. But now it seeks something far more than I can provide, and I’m uncertain if this is Miranda’s doing to make me hurt you. it’s eating it’s way out of me, and soon—“ you close your eyes and bring one your hands to her chest in defense.

“ stop, please” you whispered and you hear her shuffle against you. She gently grabs hold of your hand and brings it to her lips, pressing her lips against them. You remove your hand from your face and sighed. You managed to recollect yourself then you gave her the permission to continue speaking.

“ this book, it’s Latin name is antiquis” she opens the book and flips through a couple pages before her action comes to a halt. She stops on page LXXVII, there’s a picture of a man with a black hawk like mask dressed in an enveloped slender black cloak. And beside him stood the most beautiful woman you’ve honestly ever seen. Alcina pauses for a moment to recollect her thoughts or to probably find the right words to explain all this catastrophe to you. While she’s doing this you read along— well try to at least because everything seems to be written in either what looks like Latin and Romanian.

But you did caught hold of some things like dates such as 1915 and some other stuff like names like Ayssane and Celiancis.

“ the black god was married to a common village woman who he held captive during the blood war, rumor had it they fell madly in love and got married at the black lake where she was bathed in half her family’s blood. To unite them— but before I get to that I’d like to start from the beginning”

“ before the black god was his mother, the power queen, she was multi called, Celiancis in Latin, she’s like those organisms who doesn’t needed the other sex to make offsprings. And had the black gods and sadly a sunset baby girl, the black god was unable to have children due to his mother being celiancis so he had an affair with mother Miranda….. who later killed his wife to become the final mistress— and there’s a rule in this book it goes, ‘if your mistress kills your pupa all power must be transferred to the mistress’, so that’s the backstory of mother Miranda’s powers, she’s always been the way she is now… destroying to achieve” she zones out for a split second before she flips a couple pages.

“ before he died though he used his sisters blood to procreate a son, king solem, who married many village women and had many children for, some he never knew and never claimed, his throne only had two heirs after his death— he didn’t rule for very long. Ethan winters is one of his sons…..” your eyes snap up to hers and you could see the pain and anger in her eyes. It all made sense now, that’s why she hated Ethan so much. And always protect the girls from him— that’s why he knows so much about the girls and his way around and in castle Dimitrescu, but things still don’t add up, why would Ethan want to kill the girls if they are distant relatives?. As if Alcina could read your thoughts she spoke up.

“ Ethan believes that because he’s related to the black god by probably 0.1% of dna because again the black god made his father using his sisters blood and some how changed his son solemns entire dna and made him reproductive, so he thinks he’s entitled to some claim and I’m what’s stopping him from achieving that— because I’m from the origin Cesare family of ancient Italy and if you walk far enough down my family tree I’m also connected with family ties leading to the black god” Alcina stops abruptly and chuckles when she sees your trained and judgy expression.

“ anyway, before he too died, he also used his aunts blood to create daughters….. Stefania and ellianja, but history remembers them as the blood sisters or the dark sisters works fine too” now it’s you that’s pausing to chuckle.

“ I guess that name was common in Ancient Romania then, isn’t that the girls nickname?” You ask and alcina nods in confirmation.

“ that’s because mother Miranda used their blood to create Bella, Daniella and Cassandra, and the reason they have that coldness weakness is because stefania and Ella originally died from being frozen in the black lake by their own father” she states, your eye brow quirked and you tilted your head in confusion.

“ so he created daughters just to kill them? That doesn’t make sense why did he do that?” You ask she she shrugged.

“ the book doesn’t say my dear, no one it history has an answer to that” she says and looks between you and the book.

“ this book has information no one should ever bare witness too, and if held captive in the wrong arms…. War will break out again.” Alcina shifts uncomfortably in her seat and clears her throat. You didn’t know why she was telling you all this now, but you were grateful it’s a sign of trust and she’s taking her time to be honest with you, you cherished that. But then something in you clicked.

“ wait… if there was two sisters how did Miranda make three duplicate organisms?” You ask, you watch as alcina sucks in a steady breath as if she needed to brace herself and broke eye contact with you for a moment before she returns your compelling stare. She suddenly looked so unbearable, uncomfortably and stiff, as if you had said something so terribly out of line. And to be honest it scared the shit out of you. She responded before you had the time to reask the question.

“ eventually it was just Stefania and Ella but then after centuries of having her blood used to procreate live offsprings— I don’t know how to explain this but her parasite form found a host and her name became eloane, eventually her soul was laid to rest but she had a daughter, by herself and her name was rata, but pronounced as Rafa. Rata had a daughter named Berlin….. the book says the fifth girl offspring created from an celiancis produce will bring the black goddess or rather the power queen back to life in the final village battle if she drank one of her relatives blood or the blood of the mortem beast, but that’s if the village is under attack by another entity, which only one stands and her name is mother Miranda…..”

“ y/n you are that fifth offspring, Berlin was your mother” you breathed in sharply as your hand flew to your chest, almost collapsing over the stool you felt your heart physically leap out of your chest in a high dive. What did she just say to you? For a moment you wanted it all to be a dream, this, her what she just said, you so badly wanted to wake the fuck up because for a moment you forgot how to breath, you were still alive but you heart had long stopped pumping.

Everything was crystal clear now, that’s why for every one of your birthdays when you asked your mother if your dad was ever going to come back home she made up some dumb excuse about him being in the military and why she always kept you from going too far up north, or why she even forbidded you from going even remotely near south boundaries of castle Dimitrescu in the first place. She lied to you…. Even when you asked her, even when you tried to understand her. She chose to continue to lie to your face, but maybe she didn’t know what to say because she probably didn’t understand it herself.

Alcina did say no one has ever been able to get information from the book so maybe she didn’t even have the correct information to tell you.

Maybe she found out just as how are now. Maybe she was just doing what’s best for you by protecting you. Because now you understood because now it tore you apart. Your ears were ringing and you could see little colorful lights swirling in your vision as your body fell limb against her. You could hear her muttering stuff to you and her hands in your hair but it didn’t register into your brain. You felt nothing but pain and agony.

—————-

After what felt like eternity alcina had finally managed to get you out of shock. She had you pressed up against the bed post with two pillows behind you and two under your body. She gently pressed a wet cloth on your forehead to keep down your fever.

“ people don’t hear news like this everyday” she whispered, Removing the cloth to damp it again before placing it back to your forehead. You peak one eye open then open up the both of them to look at her. You reached out and took her hand in yours and she gave it a firm reassuring squeeze. Your heart felt heavy, like the weight of the world rested upon it. And you desperately wanted to be free from all this misery.

“ thank you for being honest with me alcina” you spoke softly. She just sat there staring at you before her eyes landed on your lips and she caved. She leaned down and placed a kiss on your lips and when she pulled back you grabbed her head and pulled her back in, savoring the taste of her. She pulled away and removed the cloth from your forehead again.

“ sometimes i grieve the person I could be, i feel like I’m everything and everyone but myself and it hurts, loving everyone but myself hurts, loving y—you hurts” you gently whisper but your voice cracked at its exhaustion. for a moment the room fell silent as the both of you got lost in each others eyes. Where all the storms of pain, grief and betrayal laid.

“ sometimes we suffer because we were born too stuffer, Sometimes suffering is just suffering. It doesn't make you stronger. It doesn't build character. It only hurts” you could hear the pain in Alcinas voice and for some reason it doesn’t bother you anymore. It doesn’t break your heart anymore.

“ so how do you deal with it? The pain of knowing” you asked sitting up better against the cold wooden bed post.

“ you have to be able to find solace in it” she simply states and you give her a weak smile to which she mirrors, but deep down you could see that there something she was hiding something that still clung to her. But you chose to leave her alone, she had already shared enough and as much as knowing the truth hurts, knowing her and getting to meet her will never cause your heart to crumble to pieces — that your sure of.

“ I leave tomorrow at dawn to go into the town to get medicine” she states. You nodded in understandment. She disappeared into the bathroom and you were left to wonder in the haze your own thoughts. This all cannot be happening. It just can’t, ever since alcina came into your life you’ve be suffocated in some way, strangled and scared in more than one ways imaginable. Loving her hurts but you enjoyed the pain because she’s the only one who’s ever truly cared. You don’t know what tomorrow holds but for tonight you chose to sleep with simplicity, if anything were to happen, no grave would hold your body down, you’d always find your way back home to her.

TAGLIST

@willalovexx @ilovehugslikealotalot @milkiedimitrescu @willow-nox @enchantressb @trexsuit @vampire-s61914 @snkskyler15 @milkkyshakeez @luisa323 @moistblobfish

[morallygreymilfs]

Discord Server!!!

Hi everyone! In celebration of Agatha All Along, I want to share my Discord Server! It's a LGBTQ+ friendly server, that has chats for Marvel(Specifically Agatha All Along/WandaVision), a bit of Harry Potter (However, fuck JKR), and a dash of Oceans 8! I made this server for other likeminded people to gush about morally grey middle aged women, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, your favorite things from Harry Potter, and a place to let your Ocean's Heist dreams reign. As well as a server to hang out and make new friends! We also do daily questions (Lurker friendly), sharing our weekly woman crushes on Wednesdays, and other fun things too!

If any of this sounds like you, send me a DM and I'll invite you to the server!

(This server is 16+ atm, however if issues arise it will become 18+ only)

Can't wait to meet you all!!

[blackcatlesbo]

Millions and more.

Dom!Debbie Ocean x Bratty!Sub!Reader

Warning(s): Smut & Fluff, Slight dumbification, Degrading, Praise, Mommy kink, semi-public, Crime

Words: 2,121

"I can show you what you'll get out of it."

"Here, you'll look nice in this." My boss, Debbie says, handing me a clothing bag. I look at the bag, then to her in confusion. What'll this look nice for?

Upon opening the black bag, the dress, dark red, has a deep v neck that is sure to show off my supple breasts. Not to mention the short cut. Wow, I'm gonna feel like a million bucks in this.

I open my mouth to question her, but she beats me to the punch. "Sweetheart.. don't ask, just do." She smirks and walks away from where she stood.

What time is it again? Jesus, she drives me crazy to the point that I don't even know what time it is. It's 9:35pm, aka my shift ended 20 minutes ago. I grab my things and head home for the night.

TIME SKIP

Sitting at a barstool at the local bar, I sip on my martini. A tall blonde woman stares at me from behind the counter as I do so. What's her problem, I wonder.

"BOO!!" Says a feminine voice behind me, startling me and almost making me fall off of my stool. I turn around and see my boss staring back at me with her signature sultry smirk on her face.

"Debbie? What're you doing here? Doesn't your shi-" I'm cut off once again with a abrupt remark from the alluring woman next to me.

"I need you to do a job for me." She throws out, silence engulfing us for a few moments until I decide to respond.

"What?" I question, looking into her dark eyes. She looks at the blonde woman, and back to me. "Come with me,"

The brunette leads me to a quieter, more secluded part of the bar. Too quiet almost.. Why's that?

"What's going on? Did something happen?" I'm utterly confused at the situation I've caught myself in. I wish she would hurry up and tell me what's up.

Silence.

"I need you to help me steal a necklace." My mouth opens wide. What the fuck? Yeah, she's out of her goddamn mind if she thinks I'm gonna do that. "That's why I got you that dress, for what I have planned." I cross my arms, giving a side eye to the insane woman. "Dude, absolutely not! You're insane Debbie!"

"Jesus fuck Y/N, do you have to be like this?" She exclaims, angry at my response. Anger and annoyance paints her face, and I decide to press her buttons a bit. What's the worst that can happen?

"What do I get out of it?" I say in faux rebuttal, expecting anger from the other party. With a bratty smirk on my face, I look into her eyes; completely blown out. She smirks and steps towards me.

"I can show you what you'll get out of it." Sultry and dark says Debbie as she grabs me by my shirt, backing me up into the wall. She whispers in my ear softly: "I'm promising you 18 million dollars, you decline, fine with me but you'll be missing out on a fortune."

I jerk my head away from Debbie's whispery seduction with a roll of my eyes. I smirks, my lip curling with a mixture of amusement and annoyance. "Listen, Ms. Ocean, I don't need your measly millions. All the spending money I need, I can earn with one night at the club. Besides, I'm not in this for the dough, and if you can't tell, I'm not exactly the easiest target to sway."

Debbie's amused grin widens at my confidence, her hand tightening on my collar as she gets her way regardless. "That's where you're wrong, darlin'," she purrs, pressing her body against mine, hips grinding against her. She nips at my earlobe, her other hand sliding up her side to cup my breast, squeezing gently. "The way I see it, you'll get more than money… much more."

I don't have time to respond, as Debbie's lips crash down on my own, pressing my body closer to the wall. The criminal mastermind's tongue invades my mouth, assertive and dominating. my eyes widen in surprise, I ball my hands into fists at my sides. The aggression ignites something deep within me, my lips parting to meet Debbie's, my fingers flexing. Despite the attempted resistance, Debbie's touch is intoxicating.

After a few moments of heated kisses and groping, Debbie breaks the kiss, taking a step back to admire me; her prey. She smirks, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Come on, Y/N, I'm taking you home." She gestures for me to follow her, leading me out of the building, the events of the planned heist temporarily forgotten.

Soon, we both find ourselves settled in Debbie's expensive Porsche. Soft music plays in the car as she turns it on with a loud 'Burrrr...' Despite the sound of the music and the car's engine, it's uncomfortably quiet; so I decide to change that.

"Why me?"

"What?"

..."Of all people to help rob someone, why me?"

She stares at me with gleam in her eye, but the silence continues. She opens her mouth. "Why not you?" I smile. This is going to be crazy, and if not performed perfectly, will end up terribly.

As we ride in the car her hand finds my thigh, kneading it. This woman is feral, but god, do I fucking love it. I wish this car ride would hurry up, you know, so I can get into my bosses bed.

I shift in my seat, biting my lower lip as Debbie's hands roam over my thigh, the sensation both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. My heart races, breathing growing heavier with each passing second. When Debbie's hand slips under my skirt, her fingers sliding closer to my core, my hands fly to my lap, lightly covering the intruder as a low moan escapes my lips.

"Watch the road, Debs," I manage to say, voice husky and desperate. My body aches for more, eager to fulfill the promise of the night ahead.

Debbie chuckles, her gaze momentarily diverted from the road. "Don't worry, I know these streets blindfolded," she reassures. her hand slipping back under my skirt, continuing the tease. The tension in the car thickens, the scent of our desire filling the small space between us. I squirm, lost in the cocktail of anticipation and lust, completely powerless against Debbie's charm.

Once we arrive at Debbie's place, she practically drags me inside, kicking the door shut behind us with her heel. The intensity between us, the fire, consumes the room as we collide, lips crashing together like waves against a shore. Debbie picks me up, carrying me towards her bedroom.

Debbie's eyes bore into mine, her lips curving into a predatory smile. "Get on the bed," she commands, her tone as sharp as shattered glass. I don't dare to question her, scrambling onto the soft mattress. "Strip." Her order leaves no room for negotiation; I reach for my clothing, peeling them off just as swiftly as Debbie did earlier. Once I'm naked, Debbie removes her own garments with a flourish, revealing her own toned form.

She struts towards my figure, stopping right before me. Gazing down at me like I'm a feast and can't wait to consume, she slides a hand through my hair, tugging gently to tilt my head back. "Now, spread your legs," she demands. I submit, feeling both aroused and vulnerable. Debbie prowls towards the edge of the bed, frosty blue eyes locked onto my dripping sex. She leans in, swiping her tongue over it once, sending electrifying shockwaves through my person.

"You taste divine," she purrs, a possessive growl underlying her words.

Debbie, now fully asserting her dominance, laughs wickedly as she runs her fingers along my moistened folds, drawing a deep moan from my throat. "Awww, so dumb for mommy huh?" she taunts, sharply yanking on my erect nipple. The sharp sting mixes with the pleasure, leaving me breathless. my mind grows dazed in the haze of sensations, I can barely register the words anymore. Debbie dominates me with ease, reducing me to a whimpering mess as she works towards my climax.

The merciless teasing and tender touches blur together, leaving my body and mind at the mercy of this newfound dominant force. With each crack of Debbie's voice, my mind feels more and more lost in the throes of submission. Debbie's words cut deep, slipping past my defenses as her fingers penetrate my body, leaving a powerful lasting impact.

Debbie's degrading tone only adds fuel to the fire, her fingers relentless as she brings me closer and closer to another orgasm. "Such a good girl, helping mommy make millions," she croons, her voice dripping with venomous affection. My eyes roll back into my head as the sensations threaten to overwhelm me.

Between pants and moans, I manage to mumble something between a question and an agreement. Debbie chuckles, her fingers sliding out of my quivering pussy, moving up to cup my breast. "You think I'd let you come without promising to help me out, love? You're mine now," she says, a dangerous gleam in her eyes.

With that, Debbie thrusts her fingers back inside of me, hard and fast. The force of the impact, coupled with the humiliation, sends my mind and body hurtling over the edge, climax intense and all-consuming. As I come down from it, panting and shaking, I can't help but wonder what I've gotten myself into, but I doubt I'd have it any other way.

After a brief, tender kiss, Debbie disentangles herself from mine, moving to the bathroom for a washcloth. My body, still sweaty from our passion, brushes against me as she passes, a teasing reminder of what we've shared. Once back, she uses the rag to clean my essence, her movements gentle but firm. "Don't wash off just yet, Mommy's not done," she murmurs with a teasing smile.

Laying back beside me, Debbie props herself up on an elbow, a soft glow in her eyes. "About the heist. We target Cartier's New York flagship store. I've got nine of the best in the game, ready to get their hands dirty. We're after a necklace—the Toussaint, worth 150 million. It's gonna be a piece of cake."

Her fingers trace lazy patterns on my abdomen, still loosely entwined with my discarded clothing. "We need someone to sneak some explosives into the store. I think you'd be perfect for it, little one. What do you say?"

I lie back, the warmth from our encounter and Debbie's touch combining to make me feel languid and content. I'm drawn into the web, unable to resist the allure of both Debbie's dominance and the promise of adventure that comes with the heist.

"Alright, Mommy," I agree, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. "I'll help you, with one condition. We need to do this again after the heist."

Debbie grins at me, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Consider it a deal, darling," she replies, pulling me into a loving embrace, her smile expanding as our bodies melt together once more.

Debbie and I spend the night entwined, drifting in and out of restful sleep. Morning dawns, casting a rosy light through the curtains, awakening us both. Debbie stirs, her eyes fluttering open to find mine nestled against her.

She leans in and kisses my forehead before disentangling herself from the cocoon of sheets. "Ahh, and here I thought sleep would claim you forever." She smiles, her voice filled with amusement.

I groan, rolling onto my back and stretching languorously. "That would've been the life. But, hey, Mommy has a heist to execute." She smirks, a playful twinkle in her eyes.

Debbie grins, her mind already racing with the plan. "Bathroom's right there, baby. You need to freshen up. Then we'll call the crew."

I nod tiredly, climbing out of bed and pads towards the bathroom, the memory of last night lingering in the air like a seductive perfume.

The day progresses, the two of us directing the team, outfitting them with their assignments, and issuing the final preparations. The excitement in the air is palpable, a thrilling mixture of anticipation and fear. Everyone is focused, the final meeting reaffirming our commitment to the plan.

As the dusk settles, the wheels of the audacious scheme begin to turn. I, along with the explosives expert, make our way through the doors of the gala, our movements as graceful as shadows. The others fan out across the city, each playing their part—diversions, distractions, and surveillance.

And so, the night unfolds, timed down to the last second. The Toussaint's fate hangs in the balance as trust, loyalty, and skill come together in a daring dance.

[oceanpanic]

I posted 2 One-shots on Ao3!!!

I Wanna Cuddle (Lou Miller/reader)

L.O.L (Also Lou Miller/reader)

My account on there is @ Carol_Lesbian_8

[waitingfortheendtocome]

PLEASE READ THIS AND REBLOG

I'm not sure if the word has spread here or anyone knows but I figured I'll post something and give a heads up in case someone doesn't know.

This goes out to ALL the fanfic writers I follow. Please reblog and spread the heads up and warning. If you post fanfics here, wattpad, fanfiction dot net, or AO3 please be aware that there has been a massive rise in random terrible people/users downloading/stealing fanfic writers fanfiction stories printing them out, binding them AND SELLING THEM illegally without the knowledge of the original author which as fanfic writers especially those of who writes and has been doing it for a long time and others even since even Quizilla know is illegal and is rule number one.

For those who need a reminder if this gets read by anyone pulling this stunt you are putting the writers at risk for your own profit. What you're doing is illegal. Rule number one: fanfic is free and you should NEVER profit off fanfiction. You are not the original author or creator of these works. And to the people actually buying them shame on you.

Please report any seller that you see whom is selling these fanfic binded books. They are selling them on Etzy and have also migrated to tiktok shop so if you use any of those Please be on the lookout and report them to have them removed.

I apologize for any grammatic error I'm on my phone and just wanted to get this out there before I forget is also very late.

I'm going to tag as many Fandoms fanfic writers as I think of but if anyone who sees this thinks of one please tag and reblog to spread the word.

TLDR: People are stealing fanfic stories off AO3, wattpad, fanfiction dot net so they can bind them and sell them illegally without the knowledge of the writers on etzy and tiktok shop or any other site they can think off but the ones I know they are using is those two. Selling fanfic is illegal and profiting off fanfics is illegal.

[edenblanchett]

Navigation

none of my works is yours to steal or repost

:) me

. Louise

. 19

. lesbian

. she/her

. wattpad writer since 2019 (feeling very old)

:) writing type

. fem exclusive no men = wlw

. smut, fluff, angst, g!p, dom/sub, kinks, bdsm etc

. write only with characters i know

:) requests : OPEN

. feel free to ask me anything as long as it's detailed

. don't be shy with the smut

:) fanfiction masterlist : WORK IN PROGRESS

english is not my first language :)

[penna-nomen]

From the “Ask Away” Ask Game, I’m so curious about plot ideas you have brewing away that you haven’t yet written! What can you tell us?

Thanks for asking @edupunkn00b!

Last night I read through the Flufftober prompts, and my mind is swimming with ideas that don't have much plot :)

However, I try to post a bigger story around the end of each year, and this year the inspiration comes from Ocean's 8, a movie I absolutely loved. I've been wanting to write a women-driven heist story ever since I saw the movie. The fandom I have in mind for it (White Collar) centers on two men, but there are great women both in canon and in the AU I've built around it.

So far I've figured out the target of the heist and the roles I'll need. Still figuring out who will take which role, and I'm hoping to add in a twist like the Oceans movies and the Leverage franchise does.

They won't be robbing the Met Gala, but there will be gowns and jewels. My nickname for the story is Fashion Caper

[saiditallbefore]

11 Yuletide fic recs at my dreamwidth for Carmilla, Dark Matter, Dracula, Fear Street, Ice Princess, Ocean's 8, Poker Face, and Scholomance!

[florashifting]

Alright yall I'm finna read some fanfiction, finish watching genera+ion, and then finish watching oceans 8.

[amerrierworld]

I’m curious and itching for some new muses for writing…

send me a character and a song title with it, I’ll write something based on them and the song 👀

[gwaeddblaidd]

I once said that I've seen the sunrise on better days

There's no reason to be afraid

And if it's all the same to you I'll be getting on my way

Now there's nothing left to say

So tell me why do I worry myself?

I'll be alright, I'm doing just fine, there's no need to dwell

---

Gelert is the type of person who relies heavily on logic and past experiences to remain grounded, in no small part because - whether in his view or in truth - these are what separate him from his wolf. As such, his go-to lines of reasoning in times of stress include "I'll be okay", "I've gone through worse" and "it always gets better" - sentiments that are all present in Chin Up, Son, whether they are healthy or not.

Distancing oneself from uncomfortable situations and taking an impartial, rational approach to problem solving can be efficient, but is both a cause and a symptom of emotional isolation. Sure enough, Gelert is emotionally isolated, and the time we spend with him in FTW is essentially him being forced out of his comfort zone as he forges new relationships and repairs damaged ones.

Chin Up, Son is, however, a generally optimistic song, and I do think this reflects Gelert's outlook on life accurately. Despite everything, in matters that don't concern his wolf at least, he is an optimist more often than not. Although the ways he deals with his trauma and anxiety perhaps aren't traditionally considered to be healthy, they do - for the most part - work for him. In FTW we see him commit to this isolation at some times and seek comfort in support from his peers (Alex and Enid, namely) at others, in a period of his life where he learns that perhaps there still is 'salvation' for him (e.g. "the writing on the wall said there's still salvation for me").

As far as songs in the playlist go, Chin Up, Son is, to me, perhaps the closest representation of Gelert's own thoughts and outlook. At the very least, it's one of the ones I return to most frequently while writing. Speaking of my writing, you can find it in the promo... (subtle)

---

Title: Feed the Wolf

Fandom: Wednesday

Rating: T

Chapters: 7 of 12

Links: AO3, FF.net

Summary: As the dust settles on the Hyde incident, Nevermore is slowly but surely returning to a calmer, safer state. But for those involved, the scars may take a while longer to fully heal. Gelert Davies, a half-werewolf student, has always kept himself out of trouble as best he could, but a chance encounter will test his resolve and force him to face parts of himself long abandoned.

Tags: Enid Sinclair, Wednesday Addams, Original Character(s), Enid Sinclair/Original Male Character(s), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Wolf Instincts, Loss of Control, Injury Recovery, Self-Hatred, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Courting Rituals, Werewolf Courting, Werewolf Culture, Eventual Romance, Family Issues, POV First Person

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day! :)

[the-fangirl-diaries]

Reposting this in case I want to come back to it later!

Miscalculation

Debbie Ocean x Reader

Genre: Fluff ♡

Word Count: 630 words

You’ve been counting down the days until you could see Debbie back in action. However you had this misconceived idea that she would at least tell you when she had been released. You had to find out through Tammy, her phone was flashing with said persons name. You bottled up your feelings, holding them until it was the right time to unleash. You knew where Lou lived and had a hunch that you could find Debbie there. The whole car trip you rehearsed what you were going to say, your blood boiling as you thought of the situation. Your car came to a halt just outside of the building. You wasted no time, barging in on their group conversation. As the door slammed, everyone’s attention was focused on you. A few were shocked while the others were confused. Debbie raised her head, her eyes went wide when she saw you. She had the heist planned out perfectly, every variable but she did not have a plan for this.

Keep reading

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 1 - The One About That Weird Ass Cressida Post

Entry 2 - The One About the Likes

Entry 3 - The One About the Guy, the Girl, and the Dragon

Entry 4 - The One About the Red Bag of Chaos

Entry 5 – The One About the Distorted Phone Screen that Sent Half the Fandom into the Ocean

Entry 6 - The One Where I Explained the Claddagh Ring to My Dad

Entry 7 - The One Where the Queen Asked, “Did That Go the Way You Thought It Was Gonna Go?

Entry 8 - The One About the Adjacent of Convenience

Entry 9 - The One Where You Choose Your Own Brazilian Adventure

Entry 10 - The One About the Audibly Loud Lukola FanFic

Entry 11 - The One About the Heart of the Ocean

Entry 12 - The One Where We Start Laying the Yellow Brick Road to Italy

Entry 13 - The One Where the Ashes Blew Towards Us with the Salt Wind from the Sea

Entry 14 – The One Where They Call It Chaotic but We Call it Predictable

Entry 15 - The One Where I Try to Convince You of Just About Anything

Entry 16 - The One Where I Shot an Arrow into the Air

Entry 17 - The One About All the Hot Air

Entry 18 - The One Where Two Roads Diverged in a Wood of GIFs and Written Words

Entry 19 - The One Where I Perform Mis-Directed as a Three Act Comedy, Act I

Entry 19 - The One Where I Perform Mis-Directed as a Three Act Comedy, Act II

Entry 19 - The One Where I Perform Mis-Directed as a Three Act Comedy, Act III

Entry 20 - The One Where We Take a Course in Rear Window Ethics

[daydreams-after-dark]

What's your fanfic fantasy? part 1

↳ tag list: open

Chapter Contents.

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 // Part 11 // Part 12 // Part 13 // Part 14 //

Pairing: fem reader + Chan + Jisung

This is an AU story about Chan bringing your fantasies to life... but what happens when boyfriends Chan and Han fall in love with you?

Chapter Summary: You're enjoying a drink with Chan until he starts asking about the smut you read.

Warnings: This first installment has no sex (but the next is fully sex including a threesome!) but talks about sexually explicit content, fantasies, references to sex and masturbation, explicit language, eventual threesome in next installment.

You sit on the leather lounge really confused about how the conversation ended up here.

“So… “ Chan starts, “do you enjoy reading them?” he smirks as he asks this.

He is such a cheeky bastard.

He isn't talking about stories in the media, or news articles, or interviews. Nope. He is talking about erotic fan fiction. Smut. About him. About him and his rock band SKZ. And that you've been reading it.

You have known Chan for a long time. Years now. You'd met on a creative project. You're musicians, and have often worked creatively together on and off for a few years. You were so excited when Chan invited you to his holiday/work retreat to work on a new project with him and a few of the guys from the band for a couple of weeks.

You're staying in a beautiful holiday home, more like a mansion really, on the coast overlooking the ocean. It’s a sight to die for.

Chan loved to work. He worked all day. He worked well into the night. He worked all the time actually. A workaholic. You wonder if you would get to let your hair down, and just hang out, which usually ends up with you bantering and laughing together for hours.

You didn’t have to wonder for long. It's your first day here, and it hasn’t taken long before you've hit “banter territory”. In fact it has now moved beyond “banter territory” and into some unknown, and quite frankly scary, uncharted territory, and you don’t have a map for this particular terrain.

Even though nothing has ever happened between you and Chan, and likely never will, you often seem to end up flirting. Hinting at things in a fun, non serious way. But never taking it further (although your mind has drifted much further than you'd ever admit).

Chan’s a safe flirt. Which means he makes you feel safe enough to push the envelope without a sense of awkwardness or feeling a need to take action or follow through. You seem to just prick tease really.

It’s just fun and games right? Right? It was always… cheeky and lighthearted and absolutely never serious.

Until now.

You feel flustered and a little sweaty. You try to shift in your seat to get more comfortable and to ease the sense of your legs feeling like your circulation has been cut off, but the leather couch is sticking to your legs. You shouldn’t have worn a mini skirt. A uneasiness builds up inside of you.

You pick up your sparkling water from the leather upholstered chaise-slash-coffee table and take a big sip, biding your time before you answer.

You're sitting in one of the living areas that that has a big floor to ceiling window that takes advantage of the ocean view. It’s getting dark out there now.

Chan sits on a second leather coach to your right where he is waiting for you to speak. You bring your attention back to his question “do you enjoy reading them?”

You'd been talking about the fandom and some of the thirst tweets and naughty edits that are out there about his rock band SKZ, and somehow the conversation escalated into how you had read some of the fan made fiction about the group.

You wish you hadn’t even mentioned that you read smut. Why did you do that? You were only going to tease him about the situations, positions and activities that he and his band members have been involved in, fictitiously of course.

Unfortunately for you the teasing hasn’t had the desired effect, and the tables have been turned on you. Instead of making him go red, or teasing him about it, and having a giggle - in the safe zone of “banter territory” - you were the one blushing while his expression had turned dark and devious.

You look him in the eyes to see if you can read his thoughts.

He is still waiting for your answer.

He is still smirking at you. Fuck. This is so awkward.

“Well …?” he raises an eyebow. “do you enjoy reading them?” he repeats himself. You actually have to answer him then? What the fuck do you say?

You're not quite sure whether to give a lighthearted response and shift the conversation to something more… vanilla, or match him with the dark, sinister vibe. Or, you could just be honest and nonchalant, and act like it’s no big deal. Yeah you might go with that. You're an adult after all.

“Well, yeah I do actually.” you say matter-of-factly, completely disregarding the dark look in his eyes. You think you've come off calm and unaffected by his energy, but on the inside you're burning up with embarrassment, or is it shame? Or something else?

You want to hide. You realise you're holding your breath and you do your best to exhale gently and calmly.

Chan puts his drink down, a simple coke, on the coffee table-chaise and sits back on the leather couch. His skinny ripped jeans are so very tight and his legs are parted a little bit too wide for polite chit chat. How fucking rude! He’s playing games with you.

It surprises you when you a feel dull ache in your core. You want to be pissed off at his confidence, not turned on. Why does this dark energy seem so alluring? This isn’t the Chan you're used to, and you have a feeling this situation is going to become less polite by the minute. You're not sure how it’s going to pan out, but you're terrified. Or are you? You can’t quite tell if this is terror or anticipation, or - arousal?

He brings a hand to his chin as though deep in thought, rubbing his fingers against his lips, and not taking his eyes off you for even a second. Then he nods his head as if he has just made a decision with himself. Is he is having as much inner dialogue as you are right now?

“Tell me more?” He coaxes, his voice is low and deep.

Tell him more? Shit. What are you supposed to say? That you lay in bed reading about how he and his best friends suck each other off and rail each other in the ass? And then you touch yourself over it as you imagine you're there actually watching it? Or that you imagine each of them inside of you while the others watch?

Is that what he wants to hear?

You cross your legs hoping the tension will go away, but all it does is intensify the feeling.

No, absolutely not. This is too far. You can’t tell him more. You won’t tell him. It’d be too… vulnerable. Intimate. You shake your head.

“No,” you start. “I don’t think we should keep talking about this.” You sigh and look at him pleadingly. But the look in his eyes tell you he isn’t going to let this slide. And part of you doesn’t want him to either. If you're honest, you're scared, embarrassed and want to run and hide, but part of you does want to tell him, to confess to him, see his reaction. What would he say? What would he do? You wanted to know. You needed to know.

Despite your resolve to say nothing, you open your mouth ready to blurt it all out anyway.

“You’re right.” Chan cuts you off, and some of that darkness shifts from his eyes. He grins his cheeky fucking grin at you and you feel that sense of kindness and friendliness he has return just a little bit.

But..

Your heart sinks. Why do you feel disappointed?

“It’s none of my business what you enjoy reading”. He chuckles filling his glass up with more coke. “I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward. We can change the subject.” Chan leans forward to peer closer to you, the room has gotten so dark and only a few lamp lights are illuminating the room in a soft glow.

“I’m sorry.” he says with pleading eyes. “I was just curious, you know?” He leans back again. “This is kind of an area that I don’t know anything about you in”.

“Chan,” you exasperate, “It’s normal for people to not know other people’s fantasies!”

You clasp your hand over your mouth. You've said too much.

“Fantasies? No one mentioned fantasies.” He’s caught you out. Chan’s devious eyes are back but it’s coupled with a devious grin too. Doubly dangerous. “Hmm..” he pretends to ponder “so let me get this straight. You read the dirty fiction and then fantasize about it happening to you? Or,” he takes a sip of his drink. “you make up your own little scenarios of my boys filling you up and fucking you senseless?”

“Chan!” You're shocked at how accurate his accusation actually is. And equally shocked how your body is responding. You're thankful it’s dark because you're pretty sure your nipples are rock hard. You're also thankful he is hasn’t outrightly asked if you fantasize about him.

So much for changing the subject.

“Do you?” he knows he almost has you admitting everything to him.

You tip your head back and let out a sigh.

“Fine. I’ll tell you more. Then you can fucking stop being so pushy and move on.”

Chan claps his hands together excitedly. “Right then”, he says and excitedly shuffles over a little closer to you. You feel like you should get him some god damned popcorn.

“You’re right. I read the stories, I touch myself, and I imagine my own scenarios.” You flail your hand around in some weird gesture and try to keep the explanation as minimal as possible, surely he doesn’t need to know actual details.

Chan waits for you to elaborate. Apparently he does need to know more details.

You roll your eyes. “And yes, I imagine them filling me up and fucking me senseless." you finish.

He looks satisfied that you've admitted it, and proud too, like his boys had actually had sex with you and that it was somehow thanks to him. “Except..” you start. What are you doing?

Chan looks at you curiously. “Except? Except what?”

You hesitate but decide to continue. “Except, even though he is so fucking hot and he’s the best drummer I’ve seen, and so very sexy, and his lips are just delicious, no matter how hard I try, and even though I want to so badly, I can’t seem to envision Jisung inside of me!” you confess.

Oh my god, what did you just say?

You look to Chan to see what his reaction is. He looks amused but mildly distracted. His gaze keeps shifting over your shoulder ever so slightly even though his attention and words are directed at you.

“So what you are saying is,” he focuses his eyes back on you. “that you can’t picture Jisung fucking you?” He smirks and leans back against the back of the couch resuming the confident lazy posture he had earlier.

You swear he’s hard, his pants seem a little too tight and you can see a bulge protruding, fighting against his pants. But it’s too dark to really tell, and perhaps your imagination is getting the better of you. You wonder what it would feel like to straddle his lap and grind against him, to make him harder and to relieve this tension building up in your body.

“Do you want to?” Chan jolts you back to reality, his attention is one hundred percent back on you, but something feels off.

“Huh?” You stare blankly, taking your eyes off the bulge in his pants.

“Do you want to be able to imagine Jisung fucking you?” he repeats casually, but dead serious.

Do you want to imagine Jisung fucking you? You consider what might be the thing getting in the way of you being able to picture it. Is it that he seems so young and fun that you can’t see him taking charge and being aggressive, and maybe that’s what you're into? You can’t really put your finger on it. All you know is you do want to imagine Jisung inside of you, fucking you. Well yeah, of course. Who wouldn’t? How was admitting it to Chan going to help?

“Yes,” you declare anyway. Really! What are you doing?  “and it’s so fucking annoying.” you add. Your throat is so dry, but elsewhere you're beginning to feel a little wet.

Amusement washes over Chan’s face and his eyes dart over your shoulder again.

You swallow hard even though your throat feels like a hard lump, but before you can do or say anything, Chan leans in close to your ear. His breath is hot against your neck and cheek. Fuck he’s close. Fuck he smells good.

You hold your breath waiting for Chan to speak. He lingers for what feels like forever.

“Jisung thinks that’s so fucking annoying too.” It was barely a whisper. He pulls away from your ear and gestures behind you. “Don’t you, Jisung?”

Your heart suddenly pounds so hard you think it’s going to fling out of your chest. Your jaw drops and dread begins to take over you. You feel hot and dizzy. You snap your head in the direction of Chan’s gaze only to be met with Jisung standing in the doorway. The dread intensifies and you're filled with shame. You want to hide.

Fuck.

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