#obviously this would all be light hearted

[luveline]

Hii jade idk if this is something you would be into but ive been reading all of ur hotch fics that include a relationship with jack and reader and i was wondering if you would be interested in writing for a hotch and ex!reader fic, where reader and jack have a really really close relationship and hotch even depends on her to look after him at times if necessary. I was thinking she comes to pick up jack at the office and everyone is like we didnt know you were seeing someone???? And hes like im not but theres very obvious tension and heart eyes being shared between the two.

thank you for requesting ❤︎ fem, 2k words

You don’t see any of the BAU agents that you’d recognise in the office today, but it's alright, ‘cos you’ve spotted your boy. Jack Hotchner sits at a crowded desk that could only be Spencer’s with a glass of water held in both hands. He tips it up, drinking feverishly, a stream of it dripping down his front to wet his raglan t-shirt. 

You haven’t come by the office in a long time. Not since you and Aaron were dating, it must’ve been a year ago or more the last time you made it up for a rare lunch date. It had been quiet, then, his new agent Emily sent with Spencer to do some work with their tech girl. You’d smiled at Derek on the way in, you remember. Laughed at his joke about your ring finger looking a little light. 

You hide your hands behind your back. “Oh, hey, sweet boy,” you say, your voice carrying. You’ve no need for false cheer —it’s been too long since you saw Jack. You have no excuses. 

His head comes up at the sound of your voice. When he finds you making your way to the desks, he slides his cup down over the table and slips from his chair, unspeaking as he crosses the room to fling himself at your thighs. 

You bend down to kiss his hair. “Hi,” you say, kissing it again. Two quick ones. “Hi, Jack.” 

“Hi,” he says, matching your quiet tone. He feels trembly and strange in your arms, like he’s shaking. 

“Hi.” You loop your arms around his shoulders. He’s slender as a bird, but taller than the last time you’d hugged him. The silence drags, Jack’s hands screwed into fists in your jeans. “Sorry it’s been so long since I last saw you,” you whisper, for his ears alone, “I didn’t mean to get so busy.”

“Everyone is busy.”

“I know. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you.” 

Pleased with this, Jack pulls away from you, and when he speaks he’s regained some of his volume, “Dad said I can stay with you for a sleepover only if you want me to.” 

“I want you to.” 

He beams. Offering a hand for the taking, Jack pulls you to Spencer’s desk and retrieves his blue backpack from the chair, its front a bright plastic print of SpongeBob and Patrick. He makes you take it, and you swing it over your shoulder. 

“Let’s go,” he says. 

“Wait a second, you gotta go up and say bye to your dad.” You wish you could send him up alone, dread a solid rock in your tummy that shifts to hurt with every breath. “Come on, lead the way.” 

As you’re going, Emily and Rossi catch sight of you on their way back from the kitchen. “Who’s that?” Emily asks, to which Rossi says, “How should I know?”

“You know who she looks like? Hotch has that photo on his lock screen…” 

You miss the conversation that begins between them, a step behind Jack as he enters Aaron’s office without knocking. His dad quickly looks up from his laptop and gives the phone by his ear a readjustment. “I’ll call you back,” he promises, putting it down. 

Something cruel twists around in your gut wondering who it is. Could be anybody. Just as easily a colleague as a friend as a new girl. 

“Dad, we’re going.” 

Aaron stands from his chair. “Thank you,” he says to you, so obviously stuck as to what to say next that anger pricks the back of your neck. You swallow every last bit of it down. 

“I told you whenever you need me to, didn’t I?” You get a look at him. Eyebags darker than ever, he’s skinny, tired, everything you hate to see. “Are you taking care of yourself?” 

Where you’d expected to see anger, regret colours Aaron’s stance. He holds the back of his chair and sighs. “Of course I am.” 

You cross an arm over your stomach. That morning, getting dressed, you’d decided to wear something that might make him want you back, even though you know he wants you back. Something that might make him braver, then. Or kinder, more agreeable to what you need. You’re wearing the silver chain he bought you, just so he knows you still have it, over a leather-type jacket and his favourite pair of jeans. It felt good at the time and childish now, because he’s not doing any better without you, and you miss him so much you might fold first. 

“He asked to stay the night. What time do you want me to bring him back?” you ask. 

“What time were you thinking?” 

You let Jack drift into your hip. His small nose is surprisingly pointy. “I’d keep him forever if I could.” 

The stumble in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed. He smiles weakly. “Yeah, I know. You’re good that way.” 

Jack tips his head back to force your gaze on him, “Yeah, ‘cos dad says you’re good as gold.” 

Your smile wavers. “Does he?” you ask carefully. 

Aaron used to tell you that sort of stuff all the time. He had a way of picking a turn of phrase that you miss. He loved that one especially in his softest moments, tear stained and sniffling against him or smiling at something he’d said, he’d declare it, like everybody should’ve known it too. You’re good, he’d say, caressing your cheek, you’re as good as gold, honey. 

“Why don’t we say midday, honey?” 

“Okay.” You try not to give your own sermon on the way he uses the pet name, but it’s no use. He says honey like it’s yours, doesn’t matter that the last time you saw him you told him he doesn’t get to say he loves you, what use was that, any of it, when he wouldn’t step up to the plate. 

Listen, it’s not that you need to get married. There’s a part of you that thinks marriage is special, and there’s a part of you that knows it’s a license rather than any solid proof of things, but what you needed most from Aaron was commitment. Even if he promised it once out loud that you were permanent, and that he was going to be careful. But you’d asked and he’d hesitated and your reconciliation is about as near as a lily flower is to the arctic circle. 

“Jack, can you give us two minutes?” you ask, holding up two fingers. 

Jack looks out the door. “Can I go see JJ?” 

“Sure, sweetheart,” Aaron says, “come and give me a hug, okay? We’ll say bye now.” 

Jack does his flinging thing and ends up pulled to Aaron’s stomach. Rough hands spread over a short back, dulcet murmuring of love yous and miss yous lost in blonde hair. 

Jack leaves. Aaron is glad you’ve asked for time alone, it couldn’t be more obvious, with or without his training in psychic evaluation. You decide tiredly to take a seat in front of his desk, waiting for him to sit himself before you offer any more to him. 

He grips the edge of his desk between his finger and thumb.

“I didn’t mean to ignore your call,” you confess. Calls.  

He nods. 

“I was sleeping. Then…” 

“You don’t have to explain.” 

“I don’t want you to think I don’t want  to be with you, Aaron,” you say, careful again. “I want it a lot. And I’m angry with you because you don’t want it like I do.”

“You know I want that, too.”

“You don’t, though. I told you, either you start to look after yourself, or I go. And you aren’t looking any better.” 

“Well, missing you does this to me.” 

He says it with a sincerity that has you wincing.

“Don’t say it like that, like I’m making it worse,” you say, nearly glaring, “I’m trying to fix it. You work all the time and I thought I could understand it, but it’s not about missing you, it’s literally that you expect me to sit at home watching you work yourself to death, while Jack–” You cut yourself off short. Take a deep breath. “Sorry. I know you aren’t hurting Jack. Aren’t trying to hurt Jack, but...” 

Your murmuring sets off his own, “You can be angry with me, I deserve it.”

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this. You own up to your mistakes but you don’t change. I can’t– I don’t even know what this is, but I can’t do it forever. I need you to…” You stare down at your lap. “Need you to fix this.” 

“I’m–” He bites his tongue. Then opens his mouth, speechless for a time. “I will. I’ll fix it.” 

“Will you?”

“I’ll fix it.”

You feel like you could fall to pieces in his arms, but you need him to do what he’s promising you, and crying while he rubs your back won’t help. “I’m so angry at you,” you say.

“I know.” 

You want him to say he loves you. He braces his hand on the desk.

In the bullpen, JJ holds Jack on her hip and tries to direct his attention to her, while the rest of the team turn their ears to the open door, listening. 

“Not his girlfriend, then?” Emily asks. 

Aaron moves toward you. Through the window, they watch as he chucks you gently under the chin. You move your face from his touch, speaking too quietly to hear from down here. 

“Are they fighting?” Jack mumbles. 

“No, honey, they’re not fighting, just talking.” 

“I’m going with her to sleep there,” he says. “For a sleepover. Dad said so.”

“Wow! What are you gonna do at the sleepover?” 

(It’s brave of Aaron to try and touch you when you’re divided. You’re both being brave. You’re honest with him. Anyone looking at you both can see how badly you want to give in, which makes it tough to watch as you stand and gather yourself away from him.) 

Your smile is shaky as you descend the steps from the landing, but it strengthens when Jack perks up. 

“Hi,” you say, greeting the agents that have circled around him with some renewed timidity. “Ready to go, baby?” 

“Can I say bye to dad again?” he asks. 

JJ sets him down. “As many times as you want,” you promise. 

Jack rushes back to his dads office. You watch as he trips over himself, and as Aaron comes to meet him by the door for a hug that turns meandering. 

“Be good, okay? And remember what we talked about, yeah?” He strokes his hair back to meet Jack’s eye. 

“What did we talk about?” 

“That she’s not mad at you, Jack. Only me. Okay?”

You wish you could hate him, but all you have is love and the urge to block his number. At least you get a night with your boy, sweet as he is.

Aaron catches your eye from above. His wan face fills with a determination that has your heart in a tumble —it feels like a promise, like the next time Jack comes to stay, he could come with him. All Aaron has to do is take a break. 

(You take Jack’s hand again and lead him out of the offices, and Aaron dials Strauss’ number. He’s not stupid enough to think that a month of vacation days can fix the things that are hurting you, nor could the simple promise ring with the pear-drop diamond that sits hiding in his desk, but he has to start somewhere, and he has to start now.)

(In the car, Jack asks if you’ll be coming home soon. You’re brave enough to tell him any day now.) 

[grandwretch]

okay okay okay sequel to this post I wrote forever ago about Steve sabotaging Eddie's dates and Eddie being oblivious about it

Steve is about to give up. Like, he's been doing this for months now-- He honestly didn't think Eddie and Amelia would last this long; who stays with their first ever girlfriend for more than three months? But their fourth anniversary is quickly approaching and Steve can't help but feel sad and pathetic about the whole scheme.

He tells Robin as much and she looks at him with obvious disappointment. "You can't give up when it's just about to work, dingus. Commit to your homewrecking." Max agrees, when he tells the kids to leave Eddie and Amelia alone on Friday night-- The boys haven't figured out why Steve is set on ruining Amelia's life, just happy to try and get their DM back, but Max and El have. Steve is pretty sure that El is already planning the Steve-and-Eddie wedding: no one has had the heart to tell her it's illegal yet.

Despite their advice, Steve is determined to stay out of it. Stay home and nurse his broken heart and let Eddie be happy. If anyone deserves the kind of love that they have in movies, it's Eddie, and Amelia can give that to him in a way Steve can't. Safety and acceptance and babies and white weddings. Steve can let him have that. Steve wants him to have that.

until 7:30 pm on Friday night.

"One last try, and then I'm done," Steve promises over the phone. Max cackles, like she knows he's lying.

When they blow into the diner like they own the place, kids chattering and yelling and laughing, Steve sees Eddie and Amelia before they see him-- Amelia already looks upset, a look that is increasingly becoming familiar on her face. But Eddie is frowning, too-- his face is crumpled and so obviously upset that it makes Steve's heart thump dangerously in his chest.

His plan was always to break them up, but but if Amelia made Eddie cry, then Steve would actually have to dedicate the rest of his life to ruining her's.

To Steve's relief, when Eddie looks up and sees the kids, he smiles. Lights up from the inside, that joy that Steve cherishes so much is shining out of him. His eyes scan across the diner-- looking for him, Steve realizes with a thrill --and his grin grows when he sees his friends.

Sees Steve.

"Stevie!" he crows, hands flailing. " What the hell are you doing here?" Like Steve hadn't been on every one of his dates for the last four months.

When Steve drops into the booth next to Eddie, ignoring Amelia's glare, saying some bullshit he can't even hear himself spout, Eddie's eyes are still locked on him.

"I haven't seen you all week," Eddie says gently, and his hand cups the back of Steve's neck. Steve's on fire immediately, like he has been since the first time his hand rested there. "I didn't think I'd see you tonight."

"You know me," Steve says, watching the grin shift on Eddie's lips. "I'm where the party's at."

"You have to be fucking kidding me," Amelia says. Neither of them look at her.

[squidbun]

“pas de deux”

(ballet instructor!sukuna x ballerina!afab!reader)

thinking about ryomen sukuna as a ballet instructor. all the students at the academy gossip about him, how scary he is, how strict. some say he once kicked a girl out because the ribbons on her shoes were wrapped wrong. they also discuss how insanely attractive he is, but that’s besides the point.

ryomen sukuna who is insanely hot, muscles bulging through his tight tanks and leggings. you walk into class and swear your heart stops when you see him. not just for his good looks, but the way he carries himself. he’s light, and graceful, but with such power you’ve never seen in your entire life.

ryomen sukuna who screams at you for misunderstanding his brief and rough directions. sukuna who just stares dumbfounded when you snap right back at him, telling him exactly what you heard and to fix his directions if he wanted you to follow them. “brat” was your determined nickname from then on.

ryomen sukuna who surprises you every single time you see him. one second he’s screaming, demanding you to arch farther and jump higher and spin longer, the next his hands are running up your sides as he guides your body, speaking softly into your ear with that gruff voice that he must know drives you nuts. he wouldn’t admit it, but you’ve got talent. not only for ballet, but for standing up to assholes like him.

and he likes it.

ryomen sukuna who maybe, just maybe, smiles a little when he sees your reaction to getting odette and odile in swan lake. all smiles, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, and a sideways glance to sukuna, like he had anything to do with it. that talent, the talent that got you that role, was all yours.

ryomen sukuna who starts to have trouble focusing when he begins his private lessons with you in preparation for your role. you’re delicate and fragile, gentle and conveying, with the way you dance. but he’s swears to god, when you dance as odile, your curves just tease him a little more. your sultry glances, and soft smiles. the way you spin and drag yourself across his when he dances as the prince. the way your hand drags across his chest, brushing his waistline ever so slightly. he won’t ever admit it, but there’s a damn good reason he ends your lessons with that dance - to rush home to fist his cock to the thought of you dancing with him utterly naked.

ryomen sukuna who’s forehead vein pops out and pulses when he sees you do that dance with the actual dancer. he knows it’s stupid, he knows that those sideways glances are in character and even with him they mean nothing, but seeing yuji so painfully obviously flush at it still makes him furious, even if the brat is his cousin.

ryomen sukuna who is shocked to find you one day in a fit of tears and anger at his door. not tears of sadness, but tears of frustration. he listens with slits for eyes as you vent about how you feel like you suck as odile - never sultry enough. “how would i know how to be enticing?” and sukuna bites his tongue as he wants to explain you don’t even have to try. you always were too much of a perfectionist. staying too late to perfect each move, each flick of your fingers intentional and poised with hours of practice. practice he facilitated.

ryoman sukuna who offers you to meet him at his own personal studio in his penthouse tonight. sliding you the address and his number on a sheet of paper, he’s staring so shamelessly and intently at your ass as you walk out. you’re in those goddamn white lacy tights he told you weren’t dress code approved (mostly because he got a hard on just thinking about them - tearing them off you and making you fold in half in front of those massive mirrors in the practice hall, that is).

ryomen sukuna who knows exactly what he’s gonna do tonight to show you how sexy you are.

a/n: hi hi, do we want this as an actual oneshot orrr?? sorry for any grammar/spelling errors, this was loosely glanced over lol

[alicelillianshaw]

'Alice…'

Jack's brows knit together, and there's a strange swooping sensation in Alice's stomach. Not fear. Not apprehension. Nothing like that, but Alice still found herself searching his face intently, attempting to read whatever letters and words might be woven within his expression.

Obviously— she'd just shared a lot. They'd known each other for less than a week, and here Alice was, wanting to publish a piece in the fucking New Yorker about her feelings for him! That was a massive step even for a one year relationship. And for someone who had met four days ago? It almost sounded like lunacy.

But Jack.

Well.

What was convention? What were standards and rules and customary steps between two people flung at each other

Jack was Jack! Jack didn't hesitate. Jack matched her, and then set the pace. He was bold, and he was affectionate, and he was beautiful, and he didn't make Alice feel silly or delusional for anything that she said. The connection was there— they both were happy to acknowledge it. When Alice had spilled the ugly parts of herself, cried across from him, Jack had caught each tear. He'd assured Alice that every version of her— even that twisted, ugly part of her in college— was someone he wanted to be around.

But the way he was looking at Alice— she couldn't quite parse it. Curiosity burned within her, and she found herself pressing against him more, a gentle lean seeking the heat and solidity of him.

And then–

'Can you get out?'

Hu— oh. Oh. That wasn't even directed at her. Alice, confused, watches as the driver's eyes flick back up in Jack's direction.

'Sorry. Can we have some space?'

Oh. Space? Space! Alice blinks, hard, smiling a little in what she hopes is encouragement, because, well. What could Jack have to say to her after all that? After that proverbial gush of words, pledge of affections, voicing her desire to let the whole fucking world what she felt for him.

Maybe— that was too much? Maybe he wanted to reel it back a bit, except, well, no. No. No, Alice had seen the look on Jack's face, and she knew Jack and his personality and she didn't think this would startle him. He was an all-in sort of man. Whatever Jack had to say ... Alice would be alright with. They were alright. Her and Jack's hearts had brushed, melded, in a singular way, and she knew what flickered between them was intense. His eyes— cast into an exquisite Prussian shade of blue in the dark light of the car— finally raise to meet hers.

Oh. Oh. And there was something there that made her want to sink into him.

'Alice... I love you very much.'

An explosion of thunder— a summer cell that shook windows. A wave slapping against black sheets of rock in Oahu. Snow whispering through the trees where Alice had camped near Alberta. The trill of a Canyon Wren at her old house; the gentle whistle that woke her every summer. A million, billion different sensations and sounds flood through her brain, the glories of life and nature, big and small, and yet somehow none of these things sound even remotely as remarkable as the words that spill from Jack's mouth.

Not even close.

She even blinks, to process it, to make sure she's heard right.

He loves her.

Jack— the man across from her— loves Alice very much.

What a big miracle, in such a very short amount of time.

Alice grabs his other free hand.

"I love you."

"I think I love you more than I ever loved anything."

A breath, because Alice may pass out with how wonderful and mystified she feels, that Jack, remarkable Jack who can get thousands of people to adore him— sees Alice, and after four days decides he loves her.

Her smile is wobbly and wild.

"—Fucking thank you, by the way, because I was trying to work out when to get that in there, I know I just dropped a lot on you at once so I didn't want to overwhelm you, but—"

Alice squeezes his hands.

"Do you know how happy I am you love me?"

Relief washed over Jack like the first drop of rain after a six month long drought. Hearing Alice admit that she didn't want to go either. Couldn't she just stay? Forever? Yes, Jack was saying forever after four days. It didn't matter. Nothing did. Because it occurred to Jack that rules didn't exist for these types of things.

His relationship to Sophia had lasted nearly two years, including the one year of marriage, and that hadn't worked out for him. Jack had never been so happy to get divorced now. Because here was Alice, a stranger (but not really, not at all), telling Jack that she just couldn't stop writing about him. A dozen paragraphs about the waterfall.

Alice assured Jack that she didn't want to make anything worse — his public image, and she leaned in to kiss him in between her words, before continuing: she was excited about the way she felt for him, and she wanted the world to know.

Jack exhaled, and a strange wave of emotion passed over his eyes. He swallowed, stared down at her knuckles. She wanted the world to know how she felt about Jack. It was a public declaration of love, and Jack couldn't wrap his head around that. Jack had criminal charges pending. She'd walked in on him snorting an obscene amount of cocaine earlier that evening. She didn't know about the pills in his luggage, or the other skeletons in his closet.

Did he deserve it? It felt like he didn't, but he was working very hard to earn it.

"I think it's easy because of the person you are." 

The person that he was. Is.

Jack would've walked over a thousand miles of broken glass if it meant that Alice was waiting for him at the end.

Jack would've walked over a thousand miles of broken glass if it meant he got to read just a single line of poetry from Alice.

Despite what she'd seen earlier that day, Alice wanted to share her feelings for Jack to the world.

"Alice…"

His brows were furrowed, and he realized that maybe he was gripping her fingers a little too hard. He relaxed, soothing whatever discomfort he'd caused with a brush of his thumb, again and again.

They weren't far from the airport now. Just a few turns away. And he felt the faint vibration of his phone. Notifications, maybe, that the plane was ready to go, or that there was a delay. He didn't care. He didn't care whenever Alice was telling him all of these things that he didn't deserve. Things that made him feel dizzy.

Words that charmed him. Words that made Jack feel like the most important man in the world. Words that made Jack feel so loved.

Purpose. Alice gave Jack purpose, and he felt like it was to love her for the rest of his days. Little by little, Alice was picking up all of the broken, damaged bits of Jack. She was smoothing them out, gluing them back together until he felt brand new again. She was doing the impossible. Alice and her hands — did she know she performed miracles with them?

The car came to an abrupt stop. He looked up, and there was the plane. He wasn't sure how long he'd been staring at her hands for. Maybe a few seconds. Minutes. He wasn't sure. Jack swallowed, before finally looking at Craig. His driver of many, many years.

Craig who kept a secret better than anyone else on his staff. Craig, who'd heard some pretty cruel and damaging arguments with his ex-wife, and there were never any leaks. Jack trusted the man, but it didn't stop Jack from blurting something out.

"Can you get out?"

It took Craig an awkward silence to register that Jack was talking to him. Jack realized the bluntness of his request, and added:

"Sorry. Can we have some space?"

Craig dismissed himself pretty quickly. The driver's side door shut, and Jack remained silent because he didn't know what to say to Alice. Well, he knew what to say, but it had only been four days. But Jack reminded himself: there were no rules for this. He went back to staring at her hands, and more time passed, but Jack wasn't sure how long.

It was the good kind of silence. Comfortable and soothing. He hoped that he hadn't worried Alice with his rash behavior, and the quiet that followed. He was just … cherishing the moment because everything was about to change.

There weren't any rules. Jack wanted to tell Alice that he was grateful to have met her, that she'd changed his life. He wanted to tell Alice that he wouldn't have changed anything that happened in the last six months. It led them to this very moment. But the words fell short. He wasn't a poet.

Jack was always a fan of keeping things simple — in the moment. No thought, just action. He finally looked into Alice's eyes.

"Alice... I love you very much."

[hikariyaps]

synopsis ☆ satoru gojo, most popular boy on campus, has had loads of flings i mean, it's not his fault girls are all over him right? he has everything he wants, everything he needs. so when he meets you, shoko's best friend plain and unassuming he brushes it off, however one random thursday something happens. something that changes the way he thinks of you entirely. and then he just has to have you, but you won't let up that easily.

☆series masterlist

Chapter Ten

never in a million years would you have thought you'd end up here. you were supposed to be dress shopping with satoru gojo.

he'd picked you up the next day and said,‘we're going on a date- i mean a day out!’ and dragged you to this pretty mall with all your favourite brands.

you were surprised he remembered.

he suggested breakfast first and you agreed. sitting at a beautiful kiosk while satoru ordered coffee and pancakes, you were calming yourself down. it’d been ages since the last time you were alone with satoru. you hadn't been alone with him ever since you realized you liked him and god knows what would happen.

it'd been hard to act as though you both didn't know you liked each other, because frankly, ever since shoko and suguru pointed it out, you both had noticed how you both had preferences for each other. but you were still scared, both waiting for the other to do something.

just then satoru comes with the order, snapping you out of your thoughts. ‘got your second choice of coffee, they didn't have your favourite here’ he shrugs apologetically. ‘that's all right.’

you guys have breakfast in a kind of a limbo. you don't know whether to talk or not. you talk a little bit, smile, and eat.

once breakfast was done though, all the weirdness went away.

it was shopping time.

he might not look like it, but satoru was really good at helping you shop. you tried searching for a dress store on your phone, but it was snatched away.

‘hey!’ you huff, no bite behind it, slightly laughing. satoru wants to frame that moment right then and there. he wants to drop to his knees and tell you how much he loves you, but instead settles for, ‘i like your smile.’

you blush immediately. ‘gimme my phone back’ you say voice light while putting on a faux annoyed expression. ‘what are you doing on your phone?’ he asks holding it above your reach. ‘searching for a dress store in the mall. obviously.’‘why do you need a dress store?’ ‘because we need to -’you stop mid sentence.

satoru holds your head and turns it front.in front of you were shops like louis vuitton, chanel, dior, bath and body works, you name it. all luxury brands.

‘no.’ you gasp out. ‘yes’ he says, smiling slightly at your expression. ‘satoru no this is too much! i can't buy all the stuff from luxury brands! accessories yes but not clothes! i don't have that much money right now.’ ‘princess who said you're gonna pay for this?’ ‘no way!’ ‘yes way.’ ‘are you sure?’ ‘of course i'm sure, i'd do anything for you.’

you hug him. tight. burrying your face in his chest. satoru prays to god you don't hear his heart rate right now, and hugs you back.

he hears a muffled ‘thank you, satoru.’ and his brain short circuits. you'd just called him by his first name. ‘your welcome sweetheart.’

this meant a lot to you. you were the person that always gave. never took. nobody had done this type of stuff for you before. shoko and yuki would always offer to buy, but you'd always decline.for the first time, you let yourself say yes. because you knew it wouldn't hurt him, and you trusted him.

unwrapping yourself from around him, you flash him a big, genuine smile and start dragging him to a store. you could have whatever you liked, is what he said. he caught you looking at the price tag once and started having a meltdown until you shushed him up and promised that you wouldn't care about the price.

you guys shopped the whole afternoon. every time you stepped out wearing an outfit. satoru had to resist the urge to fall to the ground and cry because of how ethereal you looked. every single outfit you wore, he'd just say, ‘you should get it,’ ‘i can't get every single one.’ ‘yes, you can.’ ‘tell you what, you chose for me, choose a few dresses to buy’ he makes a sad face. but you're already in the changing room.

but this one dress, he couldn't take his eyes off you, he swears the store started playing careless whisper as soon as you stepped out of that room wearing that dress. you had to call his name three times before he realized the music was in his head and he was staring with his mouth open. ‘get it please, i beg of you. please please please.’ ‘i liked it too.

’you guys didn’t just buy dresses, no. satoru took you around the whole place, getting makeup, accessories, footwear, perfume and he even tried getting you some diamond earrings but you just patted him on the back and said, ‘maybe next time.’ satoru pouted but you assured him you did not need the earrings and the twenty bags of stuff you had was more than enough.

he then tried to take you out to dinner even though you both were full of eating something or the other the whole day, satoru couldn't have you losing energy while shopping now, could he?

finally he agreed to just taking a couple of drinks and having them in the car. you guys sipped your iced tea in relief and achievement. ‘hey satoru?’ his heart had leaped every time you said his name today. ‘yeah?’ ‘thank you.’ ‘don't thank me princess, this is nothing’‘not to me. this is not nothing to me. this means everything to me. especially coming from you.’ satoru smiles, ‘i though you hated me.’ you shake your head, it felt like the right moment to say it. ‘i don't hate you, in fact i feel the opposite.’

satoru's heart stops. your heart is racing. you couldn't wait any longer, it felt like you would explode if you didn't tell him.

‘what are you trying to say?’ satoru asks, his voice barely above a whisper. ‘i'm trying to say that i love you. you’re more than just a friend. i've fallen for you satoru’ you say your voice soft, firm and gentle.

you wait. wait for him to say something. to either make you the happiest person on this earth or break your heart into pieces.

'i love you too' he breathes.

he asks you a question. you nod yes.

and his lips are on yours, soft, sweet and reverent.

a/n: new favourite chapter! ashshskh. this turned out so much sweeter than i'd originally planned. i love it so much.

©hikariyaps2025

[dollyswishingwell]

Hi sorry to bother but could you do a version where they have a baby boy and is competing with the lads guys for mcs attention? I think it would be so cute

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗ Mama’s prince

𝒲𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝒻𝑜𝓇 ˙⋆✮ Rafayel, Zayne, Xavier, Sylus, Caleb

𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒/𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 ˙⋆✮ fluff and adorable rivalry. i love that all of us are thinking on the same wavelength! i feel like i found my people ₍₍⚞(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⚟⁾⁾

> ִ ࣪𖤐.ᐟ The boys and their mini copies love fighting for mommy’s attention

𝙍𝙖𝙛𝙖𝙮𝙚𝙡 °‧🫧⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The sun pours in through the curved glass walls of your sea-facing villa, casting shimmering reflections across the marble floor. The air smells faintly of ocean breeze, mango, and expensive packaging paper. Again.

You’re standing in the living room in your nightgown, well, trying to, anyway, because in front of you are six white garment bags, four shoe boxes, a stack of velvet boxes, and two clingy boys locked in a silent war of affection.

Rafayel is lounging lazily on the seashell-pink couch, legs crossed, shirt unbuttoned halfway like always. His pink-blue eyes gleam with mischief as he motions to the open boxes.

“All for you,” he says, smug. “Thomas was furious I skipped the shoot, but I think spending the morning buying out Ileana Versé’s new drop was a far better use of my time.”

“You skipped the shoot again?” you ask, peeling back the layers of tissue paper to find a sheer lavender gown embroidered with tiny starfish. “Raffy—”

“You’re missing the point, cutie,” he interrupts, voice sing-songy. “Put that one on. I want to see it. It’ll match the shell earrings from last week.”

Just as you’re about to step behind the screen to try it, a soft little voice pipes up:

“I made sumfing, too!”

You turn.

Your two-year-old son, who looks like a miniature version of Rafayel down to the middle-parted waves and pouty lips, is standing beside the couch with his arms full of paper, ribbon, and crayon-smudged cloth. His cheeks are pink, part shyness, part fury. He marches up to you and thrusts his gift into your hands.

“Dis one’s for you. Not daddy. Only you.”

You crouch down and carefully unfold the chaos bundle. It’s… sort of a dress? A makeshift halter gown cut from gauze, with shell buttons (some glued on sideways), a messy crayon heart scribbled near the neckline, and “MOMEE” written in wobbly baby handwriting.

It’s clearly been stapled together in places. There’s even a belt made of rainbow ribbon.

“I made it by myself,” he adds fiercely. “’Cause I love you more than Daddy.”

Rafayel sits up straighter, a hand over his chest like he’s been personally wounded.

“You traitor,” he gasps dramatically. “I showed you how to mix pearl dust into paint and this is how you thank me?”

“He helped me cut stuff,” the baby mumbles, wobbling over to your side and wrapping his arms around your leg. “But I made it. So Mommy loves me more now.”

You look between them: Rafayel, still shirt half-undone, looking offended but amused, his gaze flicking between you and the toddler with a smug tilt of his head… and your tiny son, clinging to you, glaring daggers at his dad.

You hold up both dresses.

“…Do I try on both?”

“Obviously mine first,” Rafayel says.

“No, mine!” your son shouts, nearly in tears.

You sigh.

Ten minutes later, you emerge from the walk-in closet in your baby’s handmade “dress,” which is already unraveling at the seams. The shell buttons clink together softly as you walk.

“I’m two steps away from being naked” You deadpan.

Rafayel drops his wine glass.

“…Okay, that is criminally cute,” he mutters.

Your son lights up like a sunrise and runs over to spin you around. “You’re my pwincess,” he giggles, arms up for a hug.

You crouch to hold him, and he buries his face in your shoulder like he’s won.

Except—

Rafayel slinks over and kneels beside you both, pressing a kiss to your temple with a whisper:

“My turn next. I’m buying you a crown.”

𝙕𝙖𝙮𝙣𝙚 ⋆꙳•❅‧*₊⋆☃︎ ‧*❆ ₊⋆

Your home is quiet, too quiet, considering you live with two Zaynes.

You step into the sunroom, the warmth of the afternoon lighting up the pristine space. The air smells faintly of coffee, books, and lavender floor cleaner, Zayne’s usual routine. On the low table is a teacup waiting for you, your favorite lemon biscuit carefully plated beside it. You already know he placed it there.

But what you weren’t expecting is your baby sitting upright on the sofa, his little legs crossed primly, and a stern expression that mirrors his father’s to perfection.

He holds up a clipboard.

“I’ve reviewed your schedule, Mommy,” he says with an adorable lisp. “You forgot to take your 1:30 rest time. I’m escorting you to the couch.”

“…You’re four.”

“Rules are rules, mommy,” he says gravely.

You chuckle and let him lead you to the couch, where he fussily arranges a pillow behind your back and tucks a blanket over your lap. Then he retrieves a medical toy kit and begins tapping your knee with the fake reflex hammer.

“Vitals: perfect,” he mumbles. “But you should eat more fruit. Daddy says you’re ane-anenic.”

“Anemic, my snowflake”

From behind you, a low voice hums:

“You’ve been reading my reports again.”

Zayne walks in, sleeves rolled up, hair tousled from his shift at the hospital. He sets down his briefcase and pushes his glasses up as he surveys the scene, his son taking your pulse with a toy stethoscope like it’s the most serious operation in the world.

“He’s mimicking you,” you murmur, hiding a laugh behind your hand.

“I noticed,” Zayne replies, sitting beside you. “His penmanship is better than mine.”

Your son scowls slightly and tucks closer to your side, clearly not enjoying the intrusion.

“I was here first, daddy!” he declares.

Zayne raises an eyebrow, gaze flicking to the spot where the boy’s tiny hand is wrapped around yours possessively.

“…Territorial. I wonder where he gets it from.”

“I don’t hog Mommy,” he says, voice clipped and dignified, “I just don’t share.”

Zayne leans in, brushing a kiss to your temple. “I don’t either.”

And just like that, it’s on.

𝙓𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙧 ⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆

It starts like any normal afternoon in your oddly serene home, Xavier curled up like a sleepy cat in the middle of the couch, a book half-finished on his chest, the ever-present faint hum of classical music playing from the ceiling speakers. The city below buzzes quietly beneath the glass floor of the sky-high penthouse, but inside, everything feels wrapped in clouds.

You’ve just returned from a quick outing, grocery bags in hand, a breeze in your hair, and not even one foot in the door before a soft thump echoes through the space.

“Mommy!”

The words are as measured as they are high-pitched. Your three-year-old son comes speed-walking out of the hallway, looking exactly like Xavier but smaller, puffier, and with even less regard for normal toddler expressions. Silver hair in a sleepy halo, oversized cream sweater sliding off one shoulder, and those familiar pale blue eyes blinking up at you like you’re the sun.

He clings to your leg with quiet urgency.

“You were gone,” he states simply.

“For twenty minutes, my baby,” you say with a smile, crouching to ruffle his hair.

“That’s eighty-one thousand milliseconds.”

You blink. “…Did your father teach you that?”

“Obviously.”

From the couch, Xavier lifts a hand without looking up.

“She forgot her scarf,” he murmurs, voice low and smooth. “Neck exposure is dangerous this season.”

“Snitch,” you whisper as you walk over and flop onto the cushions.

He smiles, just slightly. “I’m your favorite snitch.”

That’s when it begins.

No sooner have you leaned against Xavier than your son wedges himself between you like a determined little wedge of butter.

“Middle spot’s mine.”

“You were gone,” Xavier mumbles, adjusting his arm around both of you with terrifying efficiency. “Territorial rules apply. I had claim.”

The toddler narrows his eyes. “You’re always asleep. You don’t need Mommy.”

Xavier opens one eye. “Incorrect. Her warmth improves my REM cycle.”

You raise your hands in surrender. “You two do know I’m a person and not a contested heating pad, right?”

“We know,” they say in tandem. They do not let go.

𝙎𝙮𝙡𝙪𝙨 ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𓅨⋆｡°✩

You’re curled up on the velvet chaise in Sylus’s private study, the one with the glass ceiling and one wall covered entirely in ancient weapon displays. Moonlight filters down through the glass, illuminating your silk robe, your tea, and your current situation: no

Two Syluses.

One full-sized and glowering, sitting in his leather armchair like a brooding god.

And one miniature version, three years old, smug as hell, with messy silver hair and glowing red eyes just like his father’s. He’s standing proudly beside you, showing you a paper dagger he made out of blueprint schematics from one of Sylus’s latest prototype vaults.

“Do you love it, Mommy?” he asks sweetly. “I made it for you.”

Sylus’s smile curls like smoke. “Is that one of the blueprints I left in the sealed briefcase?”

“…Maybe,” the boy replies. “But Mommy’s happiness is a higher priority than Daddy’s boring rules.”

You hold up the paper dagger, and pretend not to notice the bomb diagram drawn on the back in crayon.

“It’s beautiful, sweetheart.”

Sylus leans forward, elbows on his knees, voice dangerously smooth. “Do you know what this little devil did this morning?”

“I told Mommy already,” the boy cuts in innocently, climbing into your lap and curling into your chest. “You were just being dramatic.”

“He replaced the AI in one of my combat drones with a video loop of himself… giggling. For six hours.”

You blink.

“That’s actually kind of impressive.”

“Thank you, Mommy,” the boy says sweetly, nuzzling your cheek.

Sylus’s eye glows red.

They drag you to bed, it’s cuddle time they say.

You’re lying in bed, reading, when Sylus leans down to kiss your forehead and says, voice low, “Sleep, Kitten. I’ll be back after a quick call.”

But the second the door clicks shut… your son pops up from under the bed with a flashlight and an entire arsenal of plush toys dressed like knights.

“Time for the real bedtime story. I rewrote it.”

He lays next to you, pulling the covers over you both like you’re about to storm a castle. The plush knights are aligned at your side.

“Once upon a time there was a beautiful mommy and she was very loved by her tiny general…”

You laugh quietly. “And the dark crow king?”

“Banished to the war room.”

Right on cue, Sylus returns, his brow twitching when he sees the plush knights flanking his side of the bed.

“I was gone for ten minutes.”

“She said I could be king,” the toddler says immediately.

You pause. “…Did I?”

“Probably,” he answers confidently, wrapping his arms around you again.

Sylus glares, but his voice is still amused. “Traitor.”

“Your bloodline is weak, papa.”

“I made you.”

“You made a new enemy.”

𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙗 ⋆｡ ‧˚ʚ🍎ɞ˚‧｡ ⋆

The Skyhaven penthouse is a war zone.

Or at least, that’s how it feels when your three-year-old son comes barreling down the hallway in a neon-orange, custom-built hovercraft. His pilot goggles are tilted, his flight jacket is too big, and the expression on his tiny face is pure, righteous determination.

“Passenger Princess Protocol initiated!” he yells, skidding to a dramatic stop in front of you, where you’re seated on the couch.

He slaps the little seat behind his cockpit.

“Mommy. Get in. We’re going to the Moon Garden. I’ll fly slow so your hair doesn’t get messy.”

You smile, already getting up.

“Wow, I get a personal pilot today?”

You don’t even make it a full step before a familiar arm loops around your waist, tugging you gently backwards.

“Negative,” Caleb says smoothly, voice warm and annoyingly smug in your ear. “My passenger princess doesn’t ride second-tier hovercrafts. Sorry, bud.”

Your son’s eyes go wide with outrage.

“I built her that aircraft myself! With wings that flap!”

“My sweet innocent babyboy,” Caleb replies with mock solemnity, leaning down to ruffle his son’s hair, “I built her an orbital glider when we were nine. You’ve got a long way to go, co-pilot.”

Your son stamps his foot. “But I made cupholders! And a snack pod! And—and—seat cushions shaped like hearts!”

You bite back a laugh. Caleb just smirks harder.

“That’s cute,” he says, scooping you up bridal style before you can react. “But I’ve been her official flight partner for twenty years. I’ve got seniority, tenure, and a monopoly on her in-flight kisses.”

“Daddy!” your son wails, little fists clenched. “That’s cheating!”

“You’ll understand when you’re older,” Caleb hums, already strolling down the hallway with you in his arms.

You manage to wiggle free from Caleb’s arms just as your son sniffles behind you, his tiny pilot jacket trembling with the sheer betrayal of it all.

“I just wanted to fly her around the lounge,” he mumbles, wiping his eyes. “She said I was a better pilot last week…”

You kneel and gather him into your arms immediately.

“Baby,” you whisper, “you are. You’re my cushion-certified, snack-approved, heart-seat professional. You’re the coziest flight I’ve ever taken.”

He sniffles harder. “Then why does Daddy always win?”

“Because Daddy cheats,” you say pointedly, loud enough for Caleb to hear.

“Nope, Pipsqueak” Caleb calls lazily from the kitchen, pouring himself coffee. “I just have the deluxe marriage upgrade. Full emotional access. Zero cooldown. Comes with permanent boarding priority.”

“I’ll build Mommy a bigger plane!” your son shouts, eyes blazing with renewed resolve. “With a chocolate fountain and mini pillows and her own nap room!”

Caleb nearly chokes on his coffee.

“She’s not living in your hovercraft, cadet.”

“She might if I add a book room.”

“…Okay, now I’m threatened.”

[jessesluvr]

We all know Jesse is like thee hottest man around Jackson. Do you think you can write about Reader and Jesse being in a secret relationship, which obviously means that nobody knows, and a random female member of the community starts to take a liking to Jesse and she flirts with him and ask him favours and touches his arms playfully, and Dina/Ellie, unaware of your relationship, try to set them up and jokes about them being "a couple", and even though Jesse brushes it off and tries to secretly set boundaries, Reader still feels insecure? angst to comfort to a mwah from Jesse 💚

Tysm babe you are great on your writings!

no one knows | jesse x reader

author's note : jesse is the finest man, and they picked young mazino PERFECTLY. i cannot get him out of my head. literally screaming. am i posting this @ 12am? of course because i cannot sleep. rest well loves ! <3

summary : keeping your relationship with jesse a secret seemed simple, until a new girl started openly flirting with him, and your friends unknowingly encouraged it, leaving you insecure and heartbroken. but when jesse finds you and makes a choice to stop hiding, the two of you face the town together, stronger than ever.

word count : 1.2k

you knew what you were getting into. keeping it a secret had been your idea.

"just for now," you’d told jesse, fingers tangled in his under the blanket of his bed. "it’s easier this way."

he’d searched your face for a long moment, brows furrowed. "are you sure? i’m not... ashamed of us, y’know."

"i know. i’m not either. i just... like it being ours for a while. without anyone else in it."

he’d kissed your knuckles then, warm and steady. "okay. our secret."

and for a time—it had been perfect. small moments. lingering glances. stolen kisses in dark corners. a life that belonged to no one else but you two.

but secrets came with a cost.

the first time you noticed her, it was small. harmless. new girl in the community. pretty, friendly, maybe a little too friendly. you brushed it off.

jesse had always been kind to everyone. that was part of what you loved about him.

but then came the little things. a hand on his arm when she laughed. lingering touches when she thanked him. standing just a little too close.

you told yourself not to care. you weren’t supposed to care. no one even knew you had a right to.

and jesse, bless him, didn’t seem to notice. or if he did, he handled it politely, carefully pulling away each time.

still, the gnawing ache in your chest grew with every passing day.

the final crack came at the tipsy bison.

it was friday night, packed with familiar faces. patrol shifts were light this week; most of the town was drinking, laughing, letting off steam.

you arrived a little late.

eyes scanned the room, and your heart caught in your throat.

there they were. jesse at the bar, that girl practically glued to his side.

her laugh rang out above the noise. she leaned in close, hand on his forearm, fingers tracing small circles against his sleeve.

you stood frozen, nails digging into your palm. your chest felt tight, breath catching.

then, cruelly, from a nearby table, dina’s voice rang out, loud and teasing, "look at jesse, making friends!"

ellie grinned, chiming in, "damn, maybe they are friends. or more. you two a couple yet?"

your stomach twisted.

you watched jesse’s face carefully. he gave an awkward smile, rubbed the back of his neck. "she’s just... friendly," he said lightly. "i’m not—" he trailed off.

you couldn’t take it.

couldn’t sit there pretending to laugh along. pretending it didn’t gut you to hear your friends joke about it. pretending it didn’t burn to see her touch him like that.

without a word, you slipped out. heart racing. eyes stinging.

by the time you reached your room, tears blurred your vision.

"this is what you wanted," you reminded yourself bitterly. "you wanted to keep it secret."

but you hadn’t known it would feel like this. hadn’t known how it would twist your stomach to see someone else touch him, to hear your friends cheer it on. hadn’t known how small and stupid it would make you feel.

"you’re so stupid," you whispered, voice breaking. "stupid, stupid, stupid."

you curled into your bed, pulling the blanket tight around you. trying to block out the memory of her laugh, her hand on him. trying to block out the sound of jesse’s voice—light, uncertain, unable to say the truth.

because he couldn’t say it. not when you’d asked him not to.

and now it was eating you alive.

the knock came softly at first.

"babe? it’s me."

your breath caught.

"please. let me in."

after a long pause, the door creaked open.

"i saw you leave," jesse said softly, stepping inside. he closed the door behind him. "i was looking for you."

you kept your back to him.

he sat down on the edge of the bed—close, but not touching. "talk to me. please."

"she likes you."

"no. she thinks she does. there’s a difference."

"everyone thinks you should like her back."

"that’s not true."

you turned then, eyes glassy. "dina and ellie were making jokes about it. everyone sees it. and you can’t even say anything because i—" your voice cracked. "i told you we should keep this secret."

"hey." jesse’s hand reached out slowly, warm against your arm. "you’re not wrong for wanting that. i agreed because it mattered to you."

"but now it’s hurting us," you whispered.

"then screw the secret," jesse said, voice firm. "i don’t care what anyone thinks. if this is making you feel like this? it’s not worth it."

tears welled in your eyes.

"but what if people judge us? what if it gets messy?"

"i don’t care." his voice softened. "you come first. always."

he cupped your cheek, thumb brushing away tears. "and for the record, i was pulling away tonight. but you left before i could tell you."

"i just felt so stupid." "you’re not. and you’re mine. don’t ever doubt that."

he leaned in, forehead against yours. "i love you."

"but—" "no buts." he kissed your forehead. "i’m gonna kiss you now. because i love you. and because you need to know that you’re mine—and i’m yours. okay?"

you nodded.

his lips met yours—warm, steady, full of promise. you melted into him, arms curling around him, breath hitching.

when he pulled back, eyes soft, foreheads still touching, he smiled.

"better?"

you let out a small laugh. "yeah. better."

"good." a mischievous spark lit his eyes. "now, if you want... we can go back to the bison. i’ll dance with you. let ‘em all know."

you blinked. "really?"

"really. i’m done hiding if it hurts you. let’s go make the whole damn town jealous."

you smiled, wide and real this time, and kissed him again, fierce and certain.

"i love you."

"i love you more."

the bison was still packed when you walked in.

you were nervous, heart hammering, but jesse squeezed your hand reassuringly, lacing your fingers together for the whole room to see.

you didn’t miss the way a few heads turned.

at the table where dina and ellie sat, conversation faltered. both of them blinked in surprise as jesse led you toward the bar, not letting go of your hand.

ellie let out a low whistle. "well, shit."

dina grinned wide, eyes sparkling. "oh my god. you sneaky bastards."

jesse chuckled, pulling you closer. "not so sneaky anymore."

and across the room—you saw her. the girl from earlier.

her smile faltered as her eyes flicked to your joined hands, realization dawning. you met her gaze, steady now—not cruel, but sure.

jesse caught it too. he leaned down, pressing a kiss to your temple in full view of everyone. "mine," he murmured softly.

the girl turned away.

ellie laughed. "guess we owe you two a drink."

dina elbowed her. "more like we owe them an apology."

"all good," jesse said easily, arm around your waist now. "we’re just... making it official."

you caught dina’s wink and ellie’s grin. "’bout damn time," dina said, raising her glass.

and as jesse pulled you onto the small makeshift dance floor, twirling you under the dim lights, you felt lighter than you had in weeks.

no more hiding. no more aching.

just you, and him, and the whole damn town finally knowing it.

[blackstarz]

Time for another post-Azkaban wolfstar (not so micro) microfic bc who would I even be if I didn’t. They drive me insane.

You can find more of my microfics on ao3 here <3

April Prompt: Amortentia

Remus shook off his coat and hung it on the stand behind the door, running a hand through his wet hair and shaking out the water. Far be it from Moody to ever send him on a mission in good weather, it seemed.

“Foul beast! Get out of my home! Get out!” Walburga’s portrait shrieked, the curtains flinging back as she raved in her frame at the end of the hall, facing the door. “I will not allow you to sully my legacy any longer!”

Remus sighed. Everybody else seemingly managed to sneak past her, but he never could, for some reason. He suspected he was probably the worst she could imagine in her old home. “Silencio,” Remus flicked his wand at her, and spelled the curtains shut. “Nasty old crow,” he muttered to himself.

“Tell me about it.” Remus twisted his head up, finding Sirius – or this new, pale, ghost of him – standing on the bottom stairs. His voice was gravelly, wrecked from years spent in silence, or as a dog. He looked up at him, in the dark entrance lit only by the one window that let the dreary, grey London light pass through. He was standing in his dressing gown, his tattoos exposed across his chest, stark against the ghoulish whiteness of his skin. His hair was matted and tangled, and he obviously hadn’t shaved since Remus had last left, his beard patchy and rough. Remus forced a smile, but only managed to get the corners of his lips to twitch.

He had only seen Sirius in this state once before – in the shack, on that full moon night.

He wasn’t able to make the smile reach his eyes.

“Hi,” he said dumbly. He knew better than to ask how he was doing, when he could so clearly see it – the way Sirius was suffering in this house. Remus started up the stairs, still soaked. Sirius didn’t move the side when Remus came to stand on the step below his. “Padfoot-?”

He searched his eyes there, in the dark, just for a moment. Once, Sirius’s eyes had burned so harshly that Remus looked in them and knew what it was to stare at the full moon, even without ever having seen it with human eyes. Now, he had to check for even a faint flicker of light in their stony unfamiliarity.

Sirius met his stare, and then Remus found himself shoved to the side, a painful jolt rolling through his spine as it collided with the wall. It was just as quickly forgotten, when Sirius brought his lips to Remus’s, forcing him into a crushing, devouring kiss.

His eyes fluttered closed on instinct.

He opened his mouth, at Sirius’s fierce insistence, from the same.

His hands found Sirius’s waist, dragging up his back and grabbing fistfuls of his dressing gown. Remus knew, really, that he should push him away, that he should stop this before anything worse happened; but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything but hold him closer.

Sirius’s hands were around Remus’s neck, his jaw, stroking his cheek or moving to tangle in his hair – he was everywhere, bringing Remus closer and closer, so that no space could exist between them, no distraction.

It worked, for a time.

But Remus had spent an awful lot of his life kissing him, so he could tell. In all the places that had once been filled with heat and life and love, they were empty now. Or worse, they were filled with the uncut desperation and helplessness that he could feel in Sirius now, pouring into him as he exposed it all to Remus, holding onto him so tightly Remus wondered if he wouldn’t leave finger-shaped bruises along his neck.

Remus squeezed his eyes shut tighter, and Sirius bit on his lower lip.

Too soon, Remus pushed him away.

“Padfoot,” he whispered breathlessly, entirely helpless. Sirius’s hands slid behind Remus’s neck. “This isn’t going to help,” he said, nearly breaking in the zone between speech and whisper.

“How do you know that it won’t?” he murmured back, voice rough and wet.

It would break Remus’s heart, to do it like this. To fall back into old habits and back into bed – it would be so easy, and it was the sweetest temptation, his very own amortentia, but it would break his heart. He knew, because he’d done it before.

Remus brought his face forward to lean his forehead down against Sirius’s. He didn’t know how to give him his answer. He was a weak man, he knew. If Sirius asked him, he wouldn’t be able to say no. For everything in Remus’s life, he would have given it all up for a single, shattered piece of Sirius Black. Even if he knew it would kill the both of them.

“Don’t make me say no,” he pleaded into the air they shared between them. Sirius trembled in his arms, and his head slid to fit in the nook of Remus’s neck and shoulder.

“I can’t-” he started, but cut himself off. Remus’s arms tightened. He knew. He knew what Grimmauld Place was doing to Sirius – anybody with eyes could see it. Dumbledore might as well have thrown him back into Azkaban, for what was the difference. A cell was still a cell, and in both, he would be haunted and humiliated by the very darkest of his memories.

Sirius began to shake, silently and violently and dry sobs wracked his emaciated form. Remus held him through them, staring into dark foyer, his still fists clenched tightly in Sirius’s dressing gown.

“Padfoot,” he murmured into the cold air. He didn’t have any words of comfort to give him.

Sirius just clung to him tighter, bringing them impossibly closer, despite the rain soaked clothes and the narrow step they stood on. Remus closed his eyes, bringing pressing his cheek against Sirus’s lowered forehead. He convulsed again.

Remus wanted to tell him he loved him, that he would get him out of this place. That he would finally set Sirius free, that he would find away to bring all the life that had been stolen away from him back, and shower him in it. Desperately, Remus wanted to.

Instead, he whispered into his skin.

“I’m here.”

[writeriguess]

Hawks x fem reader! She's a major thrillseeker and he's taking her to fly around the city and does all kinds of "risky" stuff (while making sure she stays safe).

Don’t Let Go

The wind tugged at your hair and stung your cheeks as you stood on the edge of the rooftop. Forty stories up. Hawks hovered beside you, arms crossed, grin lazy.

"You sure about this?" he asked, one golden brow lifted.

"You promised me a thrill, bird boy," you smirked, leaning forward just slightly to watch the street below. "Don’t tell me you’re getting cold wings now."

He chuckled, eyes sparkling. "You’re a menace. You know that, right?"

"You love it."

He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. His wings flared wide behind you both, catching the moonlight.

"You have no idea," he murmured into your ear. Then, without warning—

He jumped.

Your scream turned to laughter as the city blurred into streaks of light. He tucked you against him tightly, wings slicing through the air with sharp grace.

"Holy sh—!" you gasped, clutching his jacket. "You didn’t even count down!"

"Where’s the fun in that?" he laughed. "You said you wanted risky."

"This is insane!" you shrieked, wind rushing past your ears. "You’re crazy!"

"You should see me on a bad day," he shouted over the wind, swooping down toward a skyscraper. You gasped again as he veered just to the side, skimming the glass so close you thought your toes would leave streaks.

You laughed, breathless. "You did that on purpose."

"Obviously. Gotta give you your money’s worth."

He dipped suddenly, doing a barrel roll that left your stomach flipping. You clung to him and laughed harder.

"Okay, okay, I admit it," you yelled. "This is actually amazing!"

"I knew you’d come around." He shot upward again, the city lights growing smaller beneath you as he soared high above the skyline. His wings slowed, letting you hover midair, suspended in the glow of Tokyo Tower.

For a moment, it was just the two of you. Silent, floating. The wind died to a whisper.

Your voice dropped. "You ever take anyone else up here?"

He glanced at you, a rare seriousness in his eyes. "...Nope. You’re the first."

You blinked. "Seriously?"

"Dead serious." His voice softened. "I mean, most people panic once I leave the ground. You? You’re yelling for me to fly faster."

"That’s because I trust you," you said. Then, grinning: "And I’ve got a death wish."

He chuckled. "Nah. You just like danger with a safety net."

You shot him a look. "You saying you’re the net?"

He smirked. "I never drop what’s mine."

You didn’t even have a comeback for that. He could probably feel the way your heartbeat picked up.

He tilted his head. "Want to try something really crazy?"

"Define crazy."

He raised your hand, guiding it to the edge of his wing. "You steer."

"Wait—what?!"

"I’ll stay close. I’m still holding you. But you get to lead." His voice was low and coaxing. "Unless you’re scared."

You narrowed your eyes. "Hand it over, pigeon boy."

He laughed, and just like that, you were guiding the flight. A little jerky at first, but he adjusted instantly, muscles shifting under his jacket as his wings obeyed your pressure. The thrill was electric—like riding a rollercoaster that listened to you.

You screamed, laughing, as you banked hard left, then right. "This is unreal!"

"You’re doing great," he called. Then, teasing: "Maybe a little heavy on the turns, though."

"Shut up and hold on!"

He grinned, then dipped again, your body flush against his as you both freefell toward the street, only for him to snap his wings open at the last second and shoot sideways through a narrow alley.

You were breathless by the time you landed on another rooftop, legs shaky and heart thundering.

"That was—"

"Amazing?" he offered.

You nodded, grinning wildly. "I was gonna say 'completely irresponsible,' but yeah. That too."

He stepped closer, brushing hair from your face, voice low and playful. "Want to go again?"

You glanced at the sky, then at him. "Hell yeah."

He smiled, slow and warm. "Told you. Menace."

[bitethedevil]

Its colinrobinsonscardigan, don’t mind the Death Note main lol

I love your Raphael takes, I completely agree that he has set himself on being The Perfect Devil™, and I did read your post on his morality (and Devil morality as a whole), but I was curious as to whether you think Raphael would describe himself as a good person/sees himself as a good person?

I assume that he sees stealing the Crown of Karsus a good move, at least far as Devil-morality goes, because obviously the Hells will blossom under his new, super amazing leadership, but torturing Hope (as an example) was a) definitely evil, b) not really in service of the blood war, or the Hells in general, and he must know that Devils are Evil-Aligned.

Anyway, love your posts, you’ve definitely made me think about some things (like his portraits and his relationship with Korilla) in a new light

Raphael’s Moral Alignment (According to Raphael)

He has his iconic line when you first meet him: "Am I a friend? Potentially. An adversary? Conceivably. A saviour? Now that's for certain" 

He can potentially be your friend, if you listen to him, take the deal, and generally do something for it. He can conceivably be an adversary, which I understand as him saying that it’s more likely that you would expect that from him and it’s not unlikely that he will be if you fuck it up. However, it’s completely certain (in Raphael-land) that he will be you only hope.

Raphael genuinely does believe that he is your only hope. He sees himself as a savior. He even thinks he’s being completely fair with his deal, which is illustrated by this note you find in his house (sorry about the horrible quality, idk what happened there):

Despite him seeing himself as a savior and despite devil morals being twisted because of the goal of winning the Blood War, I would probably not go so far as to say that he sees himself as a good person. I do think he sees himself as the lesser evil, however.

Our theatrical cambion is an actor at heart, and to be a believable actor, you have to believe in your own bullshit. I definitely think he does.

He sees himself as merciful, which is a luxury in the Hells. It’s not exactly stupid either. The full-blooded devils and archdevils show no mercy, but they primarily deal with other devils in their day-to-day and then ruthlessness is an advantage. Raphael, being a cambion, can go to the Material Plane to make deals (not all devils can do this). Raphael knows that mortals are stupid and work against their best interests sometimes, so he gives people second chances, and he is less rigid than the full-blooded devils of the Hells.

Full-blooded devils want you to bow and scrape for them while Raphael likes when you put up a fight. Don’t get me wrong. Raphael wants you to bow and scrape too at some point, but not before he has proven to be the magnanimous savior.

He might not see himself as a good person per se, but he certainly thinks himself fair. That is until you piss him off of course, and then he is his father’s son in temperament. His ‘strict’ morals are only relevant as long as they fit him. That’s also why I always see him as a bit less Lawful than your typical devil. Raphael’s ‘order’ is whatever he decides it is, rather than the traditional sense of order in the Hells.

When he has been ‘fair’ and you then still screw him over, he revels in the cruelty and evilness of your punishment, but you had it coming after all…

I think he does lean more ‘good’ for devil standards. Which really isn’t saying much, to be honest. I think other devils see his lack of rigidity and ‘mercifulness’ as weakness as well, while Raphael would argue that it is an advantage. That is solely because his skillset is adapted to working with mortals rather than other devils though.

You say that torturing Hope is evil, and while I obviously would have to agree, Raphael would maybe not strictly think so. He has offered her so much, after all. Why can’t she see it? He can’t just take away her choice (he would never!), but he has to make her see that she is meant for this.  In his mind, she already belongs to him. He just has to make her see that. He even lets her have control of the house too. Super nice of him, right? His obsession with Hope is super selfish, yes, but he still sees himself as fair in his dealing with her.

(Thank you for the ask <3 This was such an interesting question and thank you for your kind words.)

[emberphoenixisgoingtolive]

i would love to see ur takes on dinostar and yassmmy in a similar format to ur last benji post. .. . i love ur headcanons

DINOSTAR HEADCANONS

i am SO sorry for the long wait but here u go!

domestic: fluff ahead

getting together:

Darius fell first, they both fell equally hard

but they decided not to act on their feelings for a few months after chaos theory to give each other time to heal and go to therapy and become close friends first

they were both pining hard for each other, though. it was hard for the others of the camp fam to watch

Yaz knew they were in love since the helicopter ride to biosyn valley

the other three realised after chaos theory when they were all living on Sammy’s ranch and could see how Darius and Brooklynn acted towards each other and all had their individual moments of ohhh... they’re in love...

Kenji is almost too supportive. he’s so thrilled his bro has found someone he loves, even if it’s his ex–girlfriend

mrs Bowman was not even surprised. she knew Darius was in love with Brooklynn before he even did, but when she saw how broken apart Darius was by Brooklynn’s death that’s when she realised he was in love with her. she was so glad when she realised Brooklynn felt the same way. plus she’s always considered Brooklynn a daughter

Brooklynn’s dads were obviously very happy for them, but they are the “break my daughter’s heart and it will be the last thing you ever do” kind of dads, especially Ash

general/miscellaneous headcanons:

being with Darius for Brooklynn feels to her when you’ve just got home from a long and exhausting flight, and you come home to your house and everything is nice and familiar and you sink into your nice warm bed

being with Brooklynn for Darius feels to him like lying on the grass looking up at the starry night sky or a dinosaur herd peacefully traipsing across the grassland with wonder and feeling at peace

their natural landscape is the city/beach (Benji is the mountains and Yasammy is the countryside)

Darius is the sun, Brooklynn is the moon

they’re bi/bi

Darius’s phone background is a picture of Brooklynn when they went on a walk in the sunrise

Brooklynn’s phone background is a collage of all her favourite pictures of Darius edited with hearts and stars. she has collages of all her friends on her phone

Darius’s name in Brooklynn’s phone is dino nerd princess 🦕💛🕯️✨ (candle because his light burns bright and she’d follow him anywhere)

Brooklynn’s name in Darius’s phone is gorgeous ⭐💛🥰

their house is the spot everyone goes to for summer (Benji’s house is for Christmas, and Yasammy’s ranch is for thanksgiving/autumn)

they adore theme parks so much. they live so close to a six flags, they buy annual passes every year and go at least once a month. but since they like to mix it up and try other rides, they go elsewhere. they’ve driven 3+ hours just to go to other theme parks

Darius grew up on keeping himself entertained with word games in long road trips (kind of canon?? it’s in chaos theory season 1) and he and Brooklynn have so much fun playing word games. their favourite is to make up stories of other people in the queue based on their appearance (“hmm... that person over there’s in high heels; why would you need those at a theme park?” “maybe, they’re an undercover model and they’re advertising for the park?” “or maybe they’re a spy”) (it gets extremely silly and illogical)

Brooklynn is a halloween freak. think Claire from modern family. she goes all out. ask her what happened to her arm on halloween, she’ll spin some elaborate story about how a werewolf violently chewed it off or a fringe cult cut it off to sacrifice to a god. even to the people who know what happened. sometimes the camp fam will ask her multiple times throughout the day “so what did happen to your arm?” just to see what she comes up with. her and Darius decorate their house very elaborately

Brooklynn constantly teases Yaz and Sammy for not keeping the ‘true spirit of halloween’ (“you guys are tame; halloween is for scaring people!”) Darius starts to explain the actual origins of halloween during one of these arguments and Sammy tells him to stop mansplaining

Brooklynn and Darius have quite a Phil and Claire from modern family dynamic in general

(TW — cancer) a few weeks after their honeymoon, Brooklynn discovered she had breast cancer. she and Darius were gutted, especially since Darius’s dad died of cancer too, but after eight months of chemo she was declared cancer free, thank goodness. the camp fam and all of Brooklynn’s family and loved ones were so thankful. (i am totally writing a fic about this)

dating/intimacy headcanons:

Darius’s parents had a very healthy and loving marriage so he is very good in a relationship

Brooklynn’s dads also had a very healthy relationship but a certain situationship with a certain broker may have altered her perception of love a little

the Bowmans raised Darius to be a gentleman, and that is very evident in his treatment of Brooklynn

Brooklynn, on the other hand, is very flirty with him. Darius messages her ‘how are you my gorgeous?’ and she sometimes sends a dirty text back. she loves to tease him

Darius has a jealous streak, and Brooklynn takes full advantage of this (in a light hearted and consensual way ofc). they’re at a bar and Brooklynn chats up guys only to say (after they’ve bought her several drinks) that she really should be getting back home to her boyfriend. cue Darius, tall and pretty jacked by this point, entering behind her, slipping an arm around her shoulders, giving whichever guy it was a don’t you dare touch her look

they love going to sports games together, especially football. Darius’s family is pretty into football, so he keeps up the tradition when he and Brooklynn move to Dallas

Darius buys her flowers whenever he goes grocery shopping. anything bright and colourful he’ll buy, since bright colours remind him of his beautiful lover, but usually yellow ones

Brooklynn ‘borrows’ (steals) Darius’s clothes a lot, but especially when she’s apart from him. his clothes smell like him

she also sleeps in his t–shirts often, even though they’re waaay oversized on her. Darius thinks she looks so cute in them

Darius stims by rocking a lot, and he and Brooklynn have a rocking chair at their house; Brooklynn loves to hold him against it and rock back and forth, especially when he’s overstimulated and needs grounding

when they hug Brooklynn also sways from side to side to soothe him

Brooklynn knows he has a habit of ignoring his overstimulation and then shutting down later, especially if they’re in public. she keeps a pair of noise–cancelling headphones and stim toys in her bag just in case

Brooklynn sits on Darius’s lap a lot, but when Darius is upset or not having a good day mentally, he sits on Brooklynn’s lap and lets himself be held

Darius doesn’t get meltdowns often but he has a shutdown about once a fortnight and Brooklynn always cuddles him and takes care of him like he’s sick so he can recover

once Darius was really overstimulated from a t–shirt he was wearing so Brooklynn offered to swap t–shirts

Darius vocal stims quite a lot: mostly imitating dinosaur calls, humming, or quoting silly vines, and Brooklynn is so used to the noise, whenever he’s not there and she’s alone in their house the silence is too loud and she misses him :(

the safest Brooklynn feels is in Darius’s arms. he holds her and she just melts

Brooklynn’s nightmares get worse post chaos theory and Darius knows exactly how to calm Brooklynn down when she has them. he only needs to wrap his arms around her and gently whisper in her ear and remind her that she’s okay and safe. once she’s more grounded he softly talks about something interesting and she falls asleep on his chest

when Darius has a nightmare, it’s usually about losing Brooklynn so she assures him that she’s here and safe. he also likes being held and having his hair scratched. it soothes him

original nicknames post here — Brooklynn calls Darius babygirl but only around Kenji and Brand because they both tease Darius (“so how was your date with Brooklynn... babygirl”) and Brooklynn thinks it’s hilarious

(slight NSFW warning) Brooklynn doesn’t wear bras often. not because of her arm, she just doesn’t like to wear them that much. Darius thinks she looks gorgeous and he’s slightly turned on by seeing the outline of her nipples through her clothes (end warning)

sick caretaking headcanons post here

wedding headcanons:

dinostar wedding headcanons in this post

Yaz and Sammy helped Brooklynn get ready for her wedding. they have a joint playlist and slipping through my fingers came on and they all cried and hugged each other. Yasammy are so proud of their baby sister

Ben, Kenji and Brand all helped Darius get ready (despite him insisting he only needs one person to help him get ready). mostly they just hang out and hype him up (“awww, i can’t believe our little baby brother is getting married” “Brand, i’m twenty four” “you’ll always be our little brother, D–man”)

daily life headcanons:

Darius and Brooklynn move houses quite a bit before realising they want to be close to Ben and Kenji in new Mexico and Yaz and Sammy in Texas, so they settle in Dallas (@throneofrayllum’s hc which i adopted thank you very much :)) so they can be closer to the camp fam

they have a tradition/inside joke of ‘housewarming’ by having sex in every room of their new house

they don’t feel quite at home in any of their other houses because none of them feel like the Right House so they never decorate much or anything, but after about a week of living in Dallas they’re like. yep, this is the house we’re going to live in for the foreseeable future. and then they throw an actual housewarming party

and then another celebration where they have their parents + the camp fam around for a weekend to help them paint the walls

after discovering how corrupt the DPW is, Darius does not want to go back there. he still loves dinosaurs with all his heart though, so he works some kind of dinosaur related research job. the hours are quite long so he has to cherish every moment he has with Brook (and eventually Estrella)

his new boss is chill with him texting Brooklynn and his friends at work

Brooklynn initially tries an office job, but her desire for chasing stories and something adrenaline filled becomes too consuming for her to ignore, so she becomes a writer on a mystery–genre tv show, and adores it (love you chaos crew)

in the writing, Brooklynn slips in little inside jokes only the camp fam would get, but there’s some things that only Darius gets

whenever an episode premieres, Brooklynn and Darius watch it together on the sofa, and when there’s one of the little in jokes, Darius smiles at her and kisses her cheek

Brooklynn is much better at using social media, but turns to twitter (not calling it x) or reddit every once in a while just to laugh at the drama going down. stuff like Luigi Malgione, the tr*mp/m*sk feud and the tiktok ban were so entertaining for her. she’ll send a weekly summary text to the others covering what’s Gone Down

there’s a park in Dallas called Lakeside Park, and Darius and Brooklynn walk there every weekend. it’s so beautiful (from what i can see on google lmao)

in terms of their daily routine, Brooklynn has such an erratic sleep schedule she isn’t always awake when Darius needs to go to work, so he leaves a nice note and breakfast under a bowl for her

on the weekends when he isn’t working, he always sleeps in so they can have a nice snuggle together

they talk to each other about their work sometimes; Darius will tell her about some cool new discovery he’s made and Brooklynn will tell him about something spoiler free about the tv show she wrote. maybe she’ll even send him a few lines of dialogue she’s proud of. he won’t tell anyone ;)

Darius eats lunch with her on video call

sometimes she’ll come and surprise him in person whenever she has spare time. or even if she doesn’t have spare time. she’s such an important person and a valuable contributor to the writing team that they’re okay with her taking the occasional extended break to see her husband

every night they eat dinner together, and they always light a candle (“your light burns bright Darius Bowman”). it sets the mood

Darius likes routine, so friday night is always Date Night and they always make time for it. Brooklynn is determined not to miss it ever. she blew up her last relationship by being absent so she’s not making the same mistake twice

having kids headcanons:

@darilynnz i rlly hope u don’t mind but i’m gonna borrow your oc’s name Estrella for this?

anyway the name Estrella was suggested by Sammy and Darius liked how it sounded a bit like ‘stella’ which sounds like star... superstar...

Darius and Brooklynn asked the others to help with naming their baby because when she was born they did not know what to name her. they were lowkey kind of panicked because they were determined they would Know Her Name When They Saw Her, and then they... didn’t

they are sooo ready for when Brooklynn goes into labour. they have a hospital bag packed and ready by the door

however, Brooklynn starts having contractions at work, and she’s right in the middle of something so she literally spends the first half an hour of her contractions finishing off a report. then she calls Darius and asks him to drive her home

through the first labour stage, Darius insisted on attending to Brooklynn the whole time (when he wasn’t actively cuddling her ofc). “Darius, if you think this is bad, these contractions are going to get much worse” “i know, and i want to take care of you no matter how bad it is”

her active labour lasted six hours, and was extremely painful. she was clutching Darius’s hand the whole time, and he was right by her side every second (even when she almost broke one of his fingers) (her grip strength is ridiculous)

she pushes for three hours before the doctors examine her properly and declare she has to have an emergency c–section (headcanon by @throneofrayllum) and Brooklynn and Darius are terrified

luckily they manage to get Mrs Bowman and Brooklynn’s dads on the call just before they go in so they can wish her luck

again, Darius is in there the whole time, holding Brooklynn’s hand and comforting her and telling her she’s doing great

the second the procedure was over and he and Brooklynn could see their daughter, they were overjoyed. both sobbed buckets. Darius spooned Brooklynn from behind and Brooklynn held their daughter to her chest, and they sat like that for hours. Darius also loved holding his baby to his chest. when his daughter looked right at him with her gorgeous brown eyes he almost started crying again. possibly the most the two have cried ever

they video call the camp fam in the evening (Brook gave birth in the morning) and they’re all so thrilled Darius has to mute the call for ten seconds while they scream with joy (“hey guys... so here’s our baby—” *frantically clicks mute* *ten seconds of silence* Darius unmutes* “—SHE’S SO CUTE I CAN’T BELIEVE—” “—I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE OKAY—” “—SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU DARIUS—” *mutes call*)

they prepared so well, by the time they go home from the hospital, they don’t need to buy anything. they’ve had diapers and milk bottles and formula stockpiled (Brooklynn can’t breastfeed because of her past breast cancer) for weeks. they babyproofed the whole house. Darius even painted their daughter’s room to look like a forest full of cartoon dinosaurs (Yaz helped paint the dinosaurs). Brooklynn’s dads built them a crib

when they found out their baby is a girl, they were overjoyed, but especially Darius. he is the most girldad to ever girldad

Brooklynn was a little bit nervous of holding her baby with one arm. she’s had her limb difference for years at this point, so she’s used to using her residual limb like an arm, but she’s still a bit cautious, and usually carries Estrella in a sling

Darius helps her out with the stuff she can’t do because of one arm

when they get home from the hospital, Brooklynn gifts Darius a t–shirt that says ‘world’s best father’ and Darius is so happy he hugs Brooklynn tight, and immediately texts the camp fam about it, so happy he can’t even string a sentence together without a million typos (“LIOK AY GHIS!!?!? NY WIFR GOT MR TJIS!!!! SJE ID TBE VEST” and Kenji texts back “uhh... i think your t shirt is the vest” and Darius tells him to lay off the dad jokes and leave some material for Darius himself)

for the first few weeks after Brooklynn gets back from the hospital, they want it to be just them two and Estrella (they have maternity/paternity leave)

then Mrs Bowman and Brooklynn’s dads come round to meet Estrella (Darius and Brooklynn really want to limit visitors so their baby doesn’t get sick), then the camp fam and Brand a few weeks later

when Mrs Bowman comes around, she gifts Darius a book of dad jokes Fredrick bought when they had Brand and Darius, and Darius cherishes it

the first two years since their baby was born, Darius and Brooklynn both work part time, since they both agree they want to spend adequate time with their baby girl.

they alternate days, and whenever Brooklynn cooks her own lunch, she makes an extra portion for Darius to heat in the microwave the next day

they take Estrella to Lakeside Park a lot. Darius loves pushing her in her little baby stroller

Darius actually carries Estrella in a baby sling more than Brooklynn. they both love their baby girl ofc but Darius just gets so excited carrying around his daughter and seeing her sleep against his chest 

Brooklynn asks Mrs Bowman (and Darius ofc) how to maintain coily hair and keep her daughter’s hair healthy

as soon as Estrella has hair long enough to style, Brooklynn teaches herself how to do her daughter’s hair with her prosthetic or residual limb. it’s not often she uses her prosthetic arm, since she doesn’t feel a need for it often. but she knows how important hair is to people, and she wants her daughter to feel confident with pretty hair. so she went onto youtube for tutorials

Darius can also do Estrella’s hair very well (his mum taught him). both parents can do locs, braids, cornrows, twists, bunches, plaits, French/Dutch braids, and buns

Darius refers to Brooklynn and Estrella as “my girls” and teasingly “my lovely ladies”

Brooklynn and Darius will always be mommy and daddy, no matter how old Estrella gets

Brooklynn learns how to cook the healthiest food. she grew up eating a lot of sugar and caffeine and stuff and it never made her feel good, so she is determined her daughter will grow up very healthy. she makes everything as organic as she can. apparently these are called crunchy moms in the us??

Brooklynn also involves Estrella a lot in the cooking process so she doesn’t have to learn how to operate a stove in her twenties like Brooklynn did

she whizzes vegetables into a pasta sauce, and when Estrella cooks with her they always try to guess what colour puree the vegetables will turn when they blitz them up

Darius lets Estrella paint his nails. he shows up to work in very serious work clothes with pink glitter on his nails and Ronnie (who works with him in Dallas) laughs at him

Darius can and will play dress up with Estrella. Brooklynn thinks it’s adorable (but sends pictures to Kenji and Brand so they can tease their little brother)

they're a disney family. they go to disney world every other year, but they've also been to the paris one a few times

overall, Darius and Brooklynn both have legitimate fun being parents. Brooklynn didn’t think she’d love it as much as she did but her daughter very quickly became the most important thing in the world to her

[hail-dondus]

Hi everyone! As I mentioned before, I found this special feature on the Gladiator blu-ray and thought it was really cool so I decided to write it up and share some of the photos here for fun.

A couple of things: first, I've had to split it into two parts because it's long! Part 2 is linked at the bottom of this post so you can continue reading. Secondly, I've tried to write exactly what Spencer wrote in the journal at the time, as it appears on the DVD; given he was only 11 years old when this journal was written, obviously he was only a child and I feel that's pretty obvious when reading. Any grammatical errors, spelling errors etc are his because I didn't want to change the content. The placement and order of the pictures are exactly as they appear on the DVD - if a picture is featured halfway through one day's entry, it's because that's where it was on the DVD when flicking through the pages.

All that in mind, I hope people enjoy reading and seeing what he wrote about making Gladiator, including about his co-stars!

My Gladiator Journal by Spencer Treat Clark (Part 1)

INTRODUCTION My Mom and Dad believe education is really important - and not only in the classroom. Whenever my sister, Eliza, or I travel they insist we keep a journal. Actually, we both keep journals pretty regularly, but on a working set they insist it be more extensive so we won't forget anything about these new experiences.

A year later- and probably for years to come, I'm glad I wrote everything down because it keeps the experience alive for me. With such an incredible and fun cast and crew, and director Ridley and producer Branko (who amazed me because they always seemed so relaxed), the enormous sets, incredible costumes and armory, Sandra and my tutor, Marjorie, and friendly Maltese people, working on Gladiator was just about the coolest experience a kid could ever have! ... I dedicate this journal to my uncle, John, who passed away during the filming of Gladiator.

He would have loved this movie!

-- Spencer Treat Clark

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March 19, 1999 Friday

Right now I'm writing on my laptop in a lounge at Heathrow airport, London. Yesterday around 4:30pm a Russian driver who played disco music drove my mom and me to JFK for an overnight flight. Mom and I laughed in the back seat as he told us how great disco music is. We didn't have the heart to ask him to change the tape. Anyway, we were early for our flight so we went to the Virgin Atlantic lounge, which is the Japan Airlines lounge until they finish renovating the Virgin lounge. It was full of business men working on their laptops so I, being an intelligent businessman myself, took my laptop out and pretended to file reports and look important but actually played solitaire. Then in came a beautiful girl with long dark hair around my age, with a full entourage. She was going to London, too and sat in the row to the left of me. She is a (opera?) singer, who was performing in Vegas and doing TV interviews. Her name was Charlotte something or other. All the British flight attendants knew who she was. All I knew was that she was pretty, and like the girls (and unfortunately the boys, too) my age, she's taller than I am, and no, I didn't have the nerve to talk to her although we were the only two kids on the flight.

I slept on the flight to Malta and when we arrived I could instantly tell that this was nothing like New York. The buildings were very old and what really bothered me was that they drove on the left side of the road. I kept thinking they were going to crash. The wind was blowing extremely hard. Nowhere was there a neon light. The coast was all cliffs which was very impressive. We could see the Roman Colosseum that they built for the film (Our driver told us they have been working on it since last September.)

The driver drove us to the hotel, which was way too fancy. We ate dinner at one of the four restaurants downstairs after unpacking.

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March 20, 1999 Saturday

Breakfast was a quick yogurt and croissants. We ate in the only restaurant open, which happened to be coat and tie, but only from 4:00pm and 12:00. My mom pulled up some history on the hotel from a brochure. We read that it was made in 1939 and was used by soldiers in WW2. The west wing was bombed and had to be rebuilt. It officially opened in 1947. It is at the gateway to Valletta, the capital of Malta.

From our window you can see the harbor and lots of cranes- Malta's biggest industry is shipbuilding. The hotel is very imposing and one of the classic architectural sites in Malta. There are 7 1/2 acres of terraced gardens and the view from the pool is incredible. The Phoenicia boasts that it is the place where visiting Royalty and Ambassadors from other countries stay when in Malta.

Just for old times sake you can tell the US influence on Malta: our personal driver, Martin wears a Yankee hat (although the brim is pathetically flat) and our housekeeper's life long dream is to go to New York! After breakfast Martin drove us to the set. We ride around in a green jaguar and Martin always opens the door not just for mom but for me, too. It's very formal. I usually try to skip out mom's side but as soon as he opens her door he practically leaps over the car to open mine!

Before we got to the wardrobe office, Martin drove us by another set near Gladiator where they are shooting a submarine movie. Then we drove through the Gladiator set. It is enormous! Everything is built to scale and we spoke to the special effects guy who told us he'll work until October- creating a few more stories using computer graphics.

Next, I went to wardrobe and was fitted into several tunics. They tried on lots of different belts with gold trims. There is a guy who dyes the leather costumes and then ages them.

Janty, the wardrobe designer showed us the costume worn by Richard Harris, who plays my grandfather, Marcus Aurelius. It's leather with lots of gold trim.

Then we met Branko, one of the producers. He told me not to get my hair cut until Ridley, the director saw it because they think they want to keep it long. Branko was really nice and said he'd take us over to the set to see Ridley. We left our coats at the hotel since it was warm when we left but it got colder and Branko asked one of the guys working at the production office to get us some coats from wardrobe. Then Branko took Mom and me over to the Colosseum.

Then Ridley drove up and got out of his car. I also met Connie Nielsen, who plays my mother. I told her that one of my best friends was Mason Gamble and she was amused (Mason played her son in Rushmore.) Ridley is really nice, too.

After meeting with the director and producer we scoped out the set. They had made a whole town practically. It was complete with a replica of the Colosseum, a palace and a Gladiator training camp. The whole set was over an area of 1/2 of a square mile. There were people working everywhere. One man was painting graffiti on a wall. He explained that part of the set was an old fort and he needed to first put a clear layer of latex over the wall so it can be removed after the shoot. We touched a wall and still couldn't tell it was fake. There is a scene where the people are waiting to come into the arena and people are writing graffiti. He was working from a notebook of historical sketches. He also pointed out places for us to look - like Proximo's (the gladiator trainer) room. The artists have been busy painting frescos and then "aging" them. It's incredibly detailed.

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March 21, 1999 Sunday

It was a bright and sunny day and after a breakfast of omelets the concierge suggested we go to the flea market a few blocks away. So we did. It was just like a US flea market except it was wall to wall people. It took you thirty seconds to push your way through the crowd a mere 2 feet, so we exited stage left.

Fort Saint Elmo is in the shape of a massive four-sided star with a courtyard in the middle. There we watched a reenactment of the training of the Order of the Knights of Saint John. These Christian knights who numbered 130 and their Maltese comrades fought until their death against losses of 8000 Turks in 1552.

After we made our way back to the hotel, I decided to take a dip in the pool. I needed to put on lots of sunscreen as I was starting to get freckles and Branko had warned me to be very careful that my skin color was the same throughout the shoot. The pool is about 1/4 mile from the hotel and you have to walk through the hotels beautiful gardens to get there. It was quite "refreshing" - that's the exact word on the brochure...in other words it's not heated.

Back at the hotel mom and I read a history book on Malta, watched some sports on TV and had room service dinner. With the time change the Oscars didn't come on 'til the middle of the night. I met Ed Norton last week in New York and although I haven't seen any of his films, he was very nice and I hope he and Steven Spielberg win. I haven't seen Saving Private Ryan yet but Branko told me that Steven is his good friend and they also produced Schindler's List together. (I read an article earlier that was hanging on the bulletin board at the production office that said that Branko was an Auschwitz survivor. That must have been really hard to do that film and remember all those horrible things.)

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March 22, 1999 Monday

After breakfast we met Djimon (pronounced ji-mon as in rhyming with Simon) who plays Juba the Gladiator. (He was also the lead in Amistad). We spoke about the Internet and Malta and how my mom would not let me wear a baseball cap in the dining room (although Djimon was wearing one!) Djimon is extremely nice and very funny. He lives in LA and I told him I liked his New York sweatshirt and he told me not to get any ideas- especially since he spent 70 pounds of per diem to buy it in London!

When we arrived on the set, Emma one of the A.D.s who also worked on Goldeneye was there to greet us and brought us to our trailer. We have one for schoolwork and another for Mom to hang out in. It's nice and has a couch and desk. Emma brought me a huge bottle of coke, which is pretty cool since mom doesn't let me have a lot of soda at home. At lunch I saw Joaquin Phoenix, who was in costume, and went past him and said under my breath (well, actually more of a stage whisper), "NICE DRESS!" He immediately followed me and said, "I wouldn't talk, bud...I've got a pretty nice dress for you, too!" It was pretty funny.

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March 24, 1999 Wedneday

This morning we got up at 7:00 AM, got down to breakfast at 7:30 and by 8AM we caught a bus to Sliema. The buses are very old, noisy and smell of diesel. They don't have doors. I guess they don't have a lot of lawyers in Malta! (My joke of the day)

At the pool we met another actor named Sven Ole-Thorsen (from Denmark) who plays Tiger in Gladiator. He was pretty tired because he just arrived from L.A. He was really nice and we talked for a long time. He's been in tons of movies like Lethal Weapon, Hunt for Red October, and Terminator. He's a good friend of Arnold Schwarznegger and is in most of his films. (He's a bodybuilder/actor and huge like Arnold.)

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March 25, 1999 Thursday

Martin drove us over to the set. We wandered around for a while. It is so big and grand! The palace is incredible- gigantic marble columns and a pool with flowers and gold banners hanging from the walls. Then we walked into the Colosseum. We heard the tigers arrived in Malta today and we tried to figure out how they would be used in the scenes.

We saw where the film crew was and walked over. Ridley, the director took me by the shoulder and showed me around the room they were filming. Joaquin came over to shake my hand. Then everyone took his or her places. They started to do the scene where Joaquin looks at a statue of his father and hacks away at it because he never measured up to the kind of father he had (and he's very spoiled and frustrated).

About four seconds into filming they cut because someone noticed the microphone boom on the monitor. I stood behind Branko Lustig, the producer, and watched the monitor but could also see Joaquin. He did his scene in one take - good thing because it was very very intense. He is an amazing actor! It would take at least two hours to get the next scene ready.

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March 29, 1999 Monday

We got up at 6:00 AM but I was up and going pretty quickly compared to the usual time it takes me. It was a nice day and it was a good thing because it was my first day on the set when I was actually working.

When I got there I put on my tunic which was brown with a wide leather belt with round gold metal ornaments. The one I was fitted for last week was a delicate baby blue silk but the new one was brown cotton with gold trim.

After that I was called to hair and make up where I kidded around with Connie and Joaquin. Joaquin is really funny. Graham, who is the head hairdresser and from Scotland said, "He's quite cheeky, isn't he?"

I went back to my trailer and read my book, River Thunder. It's a really good book and even though I say books aren't my things I was pretty entranced by this book. I was called to set where I continued to read until the lighting and so on was perfect and they were ready to film.

Around the room in the palace were about 100 Praetorian guards with full armor on and about 50 "Senators". It was pretty cool. I didn't do much but walk around the rim of the room as my mother and uncle, the Roman emperor return from war. Afterwards, I sat in the warm sun on the palace steps and I finished River Thunder.

While we're sitting on the steps, Mike Higgins, the location manager came up and gave us the ferry and helicopter schedules to go to Gonzo. He also gave us some brochures and the names of hotels to stay. He gave us two books: The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire which is over 1000 pages and Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius. I won't be able to make it through the first one - it's way too big but Chapter 3 looks pretty interesting because it's all about the characters in the movie. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor is my grandfather in the film and my character is the heir to the throne. His book is easier to read because he's a Stoic philosopher and the book has about 500 thoughts that he wrote in his free time - like a journal - but a journal of thoughts.

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April 4, 1999 Sunday

We got up early and went to the production office to copy the newspaper and send e-mail home. While waiting for our driver, Martin came to pick up Sven but Sven wouldn't get in the car. Sven said Martin was driving him crazy because Martin's baseball cap had no curve. Sven took it off Martin's head and curved it for him. Then Sven happily jumped in Martin's car. We just watched and laughed at this exchange. Reno came to pick us up and we needed to take a detour because of a parade. We passed some huge walls and Reno pointed out little filled in stone doors that in WW2 were opened to allow people in to hide. He pointed out the one his mother hid in.

We decided to check out who was rehearsing at the Colosseum. A few people were shooting but no one was rehearsing. I checked out the storage room for all the weapons. There were awesome axes, shields, spears, daggers, nets, bows, arrows and swords.

Then we took a walk through the set and the fort. Part of the fort not used in the set had stone steps and big bunches of flowers were growing out of the cracks in the steps. Then we walked toward another part of the fort and saw someone's arm in the window. As we got closer we saw that the arm didn't have a body! We came across the place where they keep the dummies. They were pretty whacked up and anatomically correct. (Take that GI Joe...today's joke!)

Then we decided to head over to the wardrobe to see if the stuntmen at the race track where they've been practicing the chariot races. As I walked toward the wardrobe I noticed Sven practicing with another gladiator with some instruction from the swordmasters, Nick Powell and Andreas Petrides, whoknow all the martial arts and they choreograph movie fights. It was really cool. Nick taught me a whole fight that we got up to full speed. This was really, really fun.

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April 6, 1999 Tuesday

Today we went to a very early breakfast with mom and Marjorie (my tutor). After breakfast, I did school/math until 1:00PM in the Palm Court, a huge room with coffee tables and big comfy chairs where civilized guests read the paper or have tea while slaves like me do school work.

Then went to lunch at the set and Marjorie told me stories about tigers. For six years she tutored kids with Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus.

While mom went over to the production office I gave Marjorie a tour of the set. I took her to the spot where they keep the cadavers and told her to close her eyes as we approached. She nearly screamed when she opened her eyes and saw the bloody, mutilated bodies.

We heard some cheering and went into the Colosseum. There were over 1000 extras in full costume in the stands. A guy was getting them to do crowd reactions as they filmed the crowd.

I found a way to get up on top of the building to watch. There is a stairway with very narrow steps placed right in the center and ramps on either side. That's so that in the days of the knights, they could get the cannons up on to the tops of the building. The steps are only about three inches high per step because it was hard to walk up steps in full armor. Anyway, today they were shooting with tigers. They used two while I was there. One had an American trainer who got the tiger to react by giving him scraps of meat. The French trainer intimidated the tiger by snapping his whip. He didn't hurt him but made him edgy. At times the the tigers didn't do what was needed and even looked bored. At one point a guy on horseback charged into the arena - out of sight of the camera but the tiger got up and paced the same way the horse did. The crowd got excited when anything happened but were quiet while they were setting up shots which can take an awful long time.

Someone had a football and one gladiator threw it to another on the field. The other guy caught it and the crowd went nuts. If someone dropped the football the audience hissed and booed. One time a gladiator missed it and fell backwards and his toga flew up over his head and the audience roared with laughter. This was all very funny. One guy missed it and I caught it and threw it...more cheers. I wished that at that moment I were 10 years older with gladiator arms to really join in the game.

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April 8, 1999 Thursday

We were in the stands of the Colosseum by 3 and were watching the Tiger fights. While walking past one of the Tiger cages one leaped up and started violently thrashing at the cage. There is a storyboard posted with all the shots mapped out. The drawings by a DreamWorks artist kind of looks like a comic book. It is pretty cool to see how they get each shot. Now that I know how they do the special effects and make the blood squirt out of a foot as it gets hit with a weapon I'm getting more excited about seeing the final film. It's going to be so cool.

The prop guys (AKA: The Boys) had made a wooden box that had chicken wire on one half and a divider through the middle of the box with a hole in it that was big enough for a small animal to fit through. On the side that you could see in was straw. The Boys had rigged a remote control trigger from a taken apart remote control car on the box that makes the top of the half with no chicken wire on it burst open with a fake ferret on it. They would tell people they had an animal in a cage (they called it a "Sea Bat") and that they'd show it to them. So when the person came to take a look someone around 20 ft away would trigger the box to open with a bang scaring the person out of their minds. My mom fell for it and screamed when the box flung open. Then she looked around to see that about 50 people were watching her and they were very amused at her reaction. She was pretty embarrassed and was happy when the "Vestal Virgins" fell for the trap when they were innocently led over to see the animal. The special effects guys entertained themselves all afternoon by leading their unsuspecting victims over to the cage. The crowd kept getting larger.

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April 11, 1999 Sunday

Today was a quiet one.

We had dinner at a café in Valletta...We sat next to Sven and Ralf Moeller, the Conan guy. Sven gave me a huge bear hug and they gave Mom and Marjorie a funny kind of flower made of little streamers. They said I could come up to the gym with them tomorrow and work out with them. They said they'd show me how to lift weights. Djimon went to visit his girlfriend in the US but will be coming back tomorrow. These guys are so much fun to talk to and kid around with. Sven fell for my sappy pen trick and said I don't know what I started. I told him I wanted to show him the "Sea Bat" at the Colosseum tomorrow. I hope the special effects guys have it out tomorrow.

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April 12, 1999 Monday

Marjorie and Mom and I went to base camp to have lunch with Sven, Ralf and Djimon. Sven came up behind Mom and whispered, "Hey honey, how about a kiss?" When mom turned around he was only inches away from Mom's face and he was covered in blood and dirt and scars. Mom nearly passed out. Everyone thought it was hilarious. He had all this gross makeup on from the tiger fight that he was filming. Ralf decided not to work out today but to get a massage instead. I'm going to work out tomorrow.

When we got back to the hotel I saw Djimon and Sandra in the lobby and gave each a pepper candy. I think they are on to me because they said they'd eat it later.

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April 13, 1999 Tuesday

What's a dead parrot's favourite shape?

I saw Djimon this morning and he at the pepper candy and gave me grief! Later on when I was doing schoolwork, Ralf and Djimon came over while they were waiting for the car to pick them up. Ralf told me he'd work with me on some of the machines after lunch. He's the Conan guy and a former Mr. Universe.

We went to the base camp around 7:30ish. We had lunch: Lamb, calamari, dumplings and mash potatoes. I only ate about half of each because I wanted to conserve my energy for working out.

I left early from lunch leaving behind my Mom and Marjorie. I caught a ride to the set and went to the exercising room. To get to the exercising room you have to walk up a long flight of stairs that is falling through on one side. The room has a great view of The Grand Harbor and the Colosseum. I met Ralf up there and he started showing me exercises I could do. The first was an arm exercise with a 2 1/4 pound weight. The other upper body exercise he showed me are too complicated to describe.

After about 20 minutes Ralf instructed me to stop and that the next time I should do it for longer and with heavier weights. he also told me to drink diluted apple juice instead of Coke.

The we wandered over to the armory. Simon Atherton, the supervisor Armourer invited us in for a look. We spent about an hour and a half there because he had so much to show and tell us. Simon first started as an apprentice making guns. He also worked making weapons on Braveheart and Saving Private Ryan. One of the new weapons designed was too cool. Simon, from pure imagination came up with a semi automatic Roman crossbow. It took him 4 days working ten hours each day to build this master weapon. He started off with sheets of metal. The finished product was incredible. It could have 4 arrows ready to fire one right after the other. On it were detailed lion heads. Simon showed us the books he read for his inspiration and the tools and molds he used to make the weapons. He had one sword that had an iron crab just above the handle and I hinted that "Lucius" (my character) would probably like that sword. (He hasn't made Lucius' sword yet).

Continuing on towards base camp we passed the department that makes the dead bodies and so on. There was a big garage like door open and in the middle of where these guys were working were two horses. I started questioning the guys about what they do and it wasn't until I was three feet away from the horses when I realised they were fake. The body is made of fiberglass - strong enough for a man to ride and the outside is a fake fur that looks and feels so real. They were for a scene that was too dangerous to risk a real horse and they explained how they were going to do the whole stunt. It's going to be so cool.

They started showing me how they did everything. The dummies even had eyelashes. They told me that they had to individually punch in hairs to fake legs. A whole leg sometimes took 10 hours to punch the hairs in. One of the guys worked on a gorilla movie and had to work with three other men to punch in each hair to the model of the gorilla. It took something like three months 10 hours a day to punch in all the hairs.

There is a female gladiator in one scene and the mold for this gladiator was actually molded from a real lady who had to be something like 7ft something! Even more amazingly the lady when on her knees has to be chopped in half in the movie. That's where the mannequin takes place because the lady is on her knees and there is a tube that leads from the kneecap to the waist. At the waist the body is cut in half so the tube is open on both sides. There is another tube in the other leg too. In the ground where they are filming the core (the Colosseum) there are pistons that are attached to the tube in the dummy. The tubes are filled with blood and then the top half of the body is rested on the bottom half of the dummy. The pistons are released and it shoots the blood from the tubes and sends the top half of the body flying. One guy was standing 15ft from the dummy when they tested it and fake blood soaked him.

One guy said he worked on Saving Private Ryan and made several body casts of himself. It must be pretty weird to see yourself "dead" on the beach and then in a field. I'm sure he made the dummies look different and that only he could recognize himself but it's still strange.

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April 21, 1999 Wednesday

We went to lunch at Eddies were we ate outside. Actually I was too darn impatient and went and got McDonalds and then joined mom and Marjorie. Joaquin went to the same restaurant and when he saw us he came over and chatted for a while. We talked about him being a vegetarian since he was three and his mom would cook lots of gross stuff but now there were so many choices. He doesn't even eat eggs or drink milk. Of course I pointed out, after eating a wonderfully nutritious McChicken sandwich that he smokes so he's not all that healthy! (Which he readily admitted.) Joaquin is really nice and very funny. I like to kid him.

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April 25, 1999 Sunday

Mom, Marjorie and I joined Ralf and Djimon for breakfast. It was pretty hilarious. Ralf and I armed wrestled at the table. Watch out, Matt O! I'm practicing on a really big guy! Then Djimon asked how many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer below.

This afternoon was fun. Mom, Marjorie and I took a bus to the athletic fields to see a "Football" game (soccer that is). It was different groups of guys from Gladiator - like the special effects, "SIX" versus the "rebels", the cast of Gladiator and the A.D.'s (Assistant Directors). These guys were all pretty good and there were a big group of "Athletic supporters", as we were called. I got a soccer shirt (number 13 which is y order on the call sheet) and I am planning on giving it to Eli. It's nice cuz it's long sleeved and she plays goalie.

One guy sprained his ankle. Russell Crowe invited everyone (about 200 of us) to the Tex-Mex restaurant for dinner tonight. I finally met Russell. He's really relaxed and funny. I can't wait to do scenes with him.

Answer: Three. One to screw in the bulb and two to tell him he's looking good!

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April 26, 1999 Monday

I got up too early for anyone's liking. I think it was 6:00AM or something. We were picked up and brought to the set.

Today was the first day of shooting the chariot scenes. There were thousands of extras. It will probably take a few weeks to do this scene. There was a lot of energy because it was the only day that the whole cast (minus Sven, who has done all his tiger scenes) is on set at the same time. Russell came over to my trailer and joked around. He laughed that I had a soccer jersey but the one I had was from a losing team (the team he beat). As he said this he made a "L" with his hand over his forehead. He's hilarious.

We got to set and I was escorted to the imperial box where Joaquin and Connie were already sitting. They look so good in costume. We did a lot of sitting there on our thrones for quite a while before they started filming. At first they just had the gladiators in a circle waiting for the chariots to come out and battle. Before long they had 25 gladiators in the middle with six chariots circling them. Each chariot had a driver and archer. (The archers were those female Olympic athletes who do American Gladiators. Their armor is how should I say this...um...it won't go unnoticed - at least among the male population). The gladiators were throwing spears at them and the archers flinging arrows at them. They had to shoot the scenes from a million different angles and there were about half a dozen cameras that were filming at the same time. One time they had the rigged the camera on an ATV and it raced in front of the chariot. It was pretty cool. Between takes they had to "Zamboni" the arena floor. They couldn't have the sand ruts of the chariots from the take before so a mini ATV zoomed around the arena dragging a chain grid to smooth out the surface. Just outside the Colosseum there were two water tanks filled to sprinkle on the sand if it got too dusty and to keep on hand if there was a fire. Oh, and they used this stinky kind of smoky incense that smelled like the inside of a church. When the camera wasn't on the Imperial box I talked with Joaquin, Connie and Tomas.

During one of the breaks to change camera angles Nick came and talked to me. Before long we were sword fighting on the floor of the Colosseum. It was great. My speed is really picking up. I sometimes screw up the beginning, which is better than the end because as I speed up if I make a mistake I could hit him. It was really fun.

After lunch we had to make way for an ambulance that came for a guy who fell off some scaffolding and broke his pelvis. Yesterday the guy that I thought sprained his ankle actually fractured it. Someone told me that during the filming of Ben Hur there were two deaths.

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April 27, 1999 Tuesday

This morning I got up at eight, and we went to breakfast. We didn't have much time to eat, because a driver, Reno, arrived early to take us to the set. Upon arrival, I got dressed and got my manly make-up on, and then I was ready to shoot.

I sat up in the royal box, and watched the chariots fly around the arena for the second time. I had to be my own stand-in, because they couldn't find a person that looked enough like me. A stand-in is a person who looks like you and stands in your place when they aren't taping but setting up the lighting.

They started a scene where one chariot crashes to the ground and the sand gets stirred up, while people fight in the background. They used air pistons to shoot the sand up in the air. There was a guy underneath the fake horses to wiggle them around, and make them look as if they were dying slowly. It was a really cool scene.

After a little while of waiting around, we got restless and went down to see the newborn baby tigers that were nine days old. They were no bigger than a hand but had the strength of a ticking time bomb. It's hard to explain, but it always felt as if they were going to jump right out of your hand. They were identical to a full-grown tiger, yet they were eight inches long.

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April 28, 1999 Wednesday

When I got to the set, I got into my costume, got on my manly make-up and someone do my hair. I was rushed to the set and was barely told what to do when the scene began.

On "action" Joaquin pulled me up, brought me to the edge of the imperial box and we watched the battle below us. They had a chariot crushed against the side of the Colosseum wall and Djimon has to fight off the chariot archer. It was a fun scene to watch, but we didn't have much to do in the box.

In another short Russell Crowe, the star of the movie, cuts free a horse from the crashed chariot and grabs a spear that was sticking out of a dead body. He told me about how the horse was a bit jumpy and that's why he missed grabbing the spear a few times. I said, "sure blame it on the horse". His comeback was, "well if I was a horse and I had eight fat men running at me I'd be a bit jumpy too". That's literally what happens. After that scene they filmed the one where Russell has to jump over the chariot onto the horse. He did it himself because he's really good at horseback riding.

They then officially wrapped us and we went down and saw the tiger cubs. Connie came too and so did my dad this time. They really do look like miniature tigers.

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April 30, 1999 Friday

I had to work today because it rained and they did an indoor shot.

Lunch was really good. Sausage, bacon, lamb, mash potatoes topped with gravy with another plate of French fries. I went back to the set (as in the place where they shoot not base camp) soon after lunch and visited the puppies for 1/4 of an hour until they needed me for my scene. When you film a scene between two people you film the whole scene just focusing on one person and then they set it up again focusing on the other person. Then they throw in any others shots needed at the end.

It usually takes quite a while. First they shot my dialogue and because the shot was only on me at the time, Ralf and Russell were making silly faces as we did the lines. Oh Yeah, the scene I was doing was me looking in the gladiator holding cells looking at Djimon, Ralf, Russell and other gladiators. My character meets Maximus (Russell) for the first time in the movie. They filmed Russell after me and did the same scene but angled towards the former. The next angle was of me pushing through the crowd but with my bodyguards. It was really neat because everyone parted a path for me to walk on.

We finished at like 7:30 and at the hotel it was too late to swim. We had dinner and now I'm typing and listening to Russell's band (called 30 Odd Feet of Grunt) on a CD that he gave me and it's really good. One other thing that I forgot. Russell owns 50 cows, 4 horses, 8 turtles, 2 six-foot snakes, too many birds to count, and a platypus on his ranch in Australia. He said I could come visit - if I didn't mind the snakes.

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((PART 2))

[cecilysass]

Okay, here are some additional recs from my favorites. Honestly I could go on longer on this topic, but I am forcing myself to stop now lol.

Pilgrims creeping towards the dawn- softnow

This might be my favorite Diana angst piece— it’s up there anyway. It’s pretty ouchy, so faint of heart, beware. If you’re reading the fic I am posting now (One Hand Tied), you’ll probably notice I was influenced by it in the initial set-up.

Blinded by White Light - DashaKay

This is a classic fic (actually from the 90s) that is falls into the “classic for a reason” category. It’s really original, and the main plot is not about jealousy… but oooooh jealousy does play a role for both agents. It’s HEARTBREAKING in the best way. (Happy/hopeful ending.)

How to fake an orgasm - sab, punk

This is an unusual jealousy fic because it doesn’t spell it out. You have to read between the lines a little. Mulder meets a nice girl and has an actual normal girlfriend, which he likes … at first. Scully’s reaction here is subtle; she does NOT cry and pine and run out of rooms. But she also kind of loses her mind.

You He Did Not Fail - extraordinarily_ordinary

In this well-written casefile, Scully left Mulder abruptly during season 5 when they were in the midst of an established relationship, suddenly moving to California (with no explanation) and beginning a new life working for the LA field office. Two years have passed. Mulder is sent in to consult as a profiler on a case. They have to work on the case, discuss why Scully left, and deal with Scully’s new boyfriend.

Mine - lepusarcticus

This is only a one shot, but it’s one of the most popular XF fics on AO3. Mulder comes to see Scully after Never Again. This is suuuuuuuch good jealous smut. The crème de la crème.

Ouroboros - neednot

More extremely hot Never Again smut. There is some emotional content here, too.

Never - SisterSpooky1013

Scully’s night with Jerse causes Mulder to have realizations, get drunk, and make self destructive choices. This is a little pain and angst fest with three parts. I LOVE IT. I love it so much I actually recorded the first part for the AudioFanFic pod.

Tiger Lily - Eleanore

I love this quirky post-War of the Coprophages jealousy fic written just a few weeks after the episode aired in 1996. In this fic, Mulder remains smitten with Bambi, and Scully provides him with advice despite her own feelings. Understated angst and a moving ending that seems perfectly calibrated to season 3’s low key UST vibe. I also recorded this one for the AudioFanFic pod.

Hurt’s Hopeful Plunder - darlablack

This is an amaaaaazing wrap-up to the “Mulder being an asshole” plot of One Son. This is hot, sweet, angsty, the whole thing.

Absolution - SlippinMickeys

This fic fits within the events of One Son. Scully is still hella angry, obviously. Angry sex and apology sex. Another smut / angst triumph.

All the Warmth in the World -oohnotvery

This author is sooooo good at jealousy in general and Diana angst in particular. So much of her work would fit, but this one holds a special place in my heart: pure jealous Scully with a lovely resolution.

the guts (and the tend the wound series) - wtfmulder

Okay, this one you REALLY need to be in the right head space for. Diana angst as bitter as good dark chocolate. This will huuuuuuurt you; it’s for the serious angst aficionados only. But ultimately a happy / hopeful ending.

On the subject of Jealousy!sex fics - who do you prefer? A jealous Mulder or a jealous Scully? And do you have any favorite fics of that genre?

I like it when either of them are jealous! As long as it's handled deftly. But I rely on @calimanc to be the linkkeeper because I'm not much of a historian after losing a decade's worth of bookmarks and falling into despair. I'll see if I can coax her or @randomfoggytiger into tossing some links your way 😉

[mintaikkcorpse]

Okay, I've been wrapped up in omegaverse discourse with the whole Alpha and Omega thing, and its so entertaining, so you know what we need?

We need furry discourse like the omegaverse has. I wanna see roleplays with calico cat furries explaining that just bcuz they're a Trans man, doesn't mean they have to die their fur because being a calico isn't gendered. I wanna see discourse about skunks having to demand themselves, and there's protests talking about how bad that can be for their health. I wanna see people argue like the omegaverse does!

[sunnytoptap]

THE HEART KILLERS (2024-2025) เขาจ้างให้ผมจีบนักฆ่า dir. Jojo Tichakorn Phukhaotong

[spidermanifested]

More in depth dental run theorys from a guy who has not been paying attention to what anybody else is saying about it. #spoilers (for both new dr chapters and ghost trick the game thats been out for 15 years)

i have to give some background information so everyone is on the same page so the game ghost trick (released 2010 for the nintendo ds) is about a disembodied soul who doesnt remember anything about themself except that they apparently just died and their corpse is lying ass up in a junkyard. here are some more facts about ghost trick.

you can interact with the physical world with your soul by possessing objects

you can also travel back in time to undo deaths

eventually the game drops the insane twist that yomiel, the guy whose body you thought was yours, is actually a completely different person, and he too has ghost powers. which hes been using to puppet his OWN CORPSE around. for years

asgore-esque character pictured above is a former cop named jowd. jowd has a dead wife and an alive daughter and a sometimes-dead adopted-daughter/mentee-figure

hes also the one who indirectly got yomiel killed when he was younger during a standoff gone wrong and he fully knows how terrible this was. that did not stop yomiels ghost from doing some ghost tricks and setting up a rube goldberg wife murder machine in jowds house, for revenge, but because a fucking ghost did it, the only 2 possible suspects were jowd and his daughter, so to protect his daughter he turned himself in and now hes on death row

jowd has a very special good friend named cabanela who calls everyone baby. i dont think his role in the plot of ghost trick is as relevant to tjis post as the fact that he looks like that, is close to jowd and has a very specific pet name he calls people. but who knows at this point

So what im not saying is that toby fox is pulling 100% from the plot of ghost trick because that would be boring. but what i AM saying is that between the soul mechanics in chapter 4, and the thing about asgore having been chief of police but something happening that made him quit and become epic divorce man. i would bet most if not all of my money that ghost trick was an influence on this game. and specifically here is what i think as a result of that

i think that kris may be um. Dead? or close to dead. And the soul we are playing as is somebody elses, and we are sharing custody, as it were. of their body.

i do not know How this soul would have gotten into kris' body. i mean gee you might need some kind of secret facility to do something like that. And i imagine considering kris is so reliant on it (they seem fucked up whenever the soul isnt controlling them, constantly described as looking tired and sick, shuffling around like they can barely move) then theyd probably consider themself indebted to whoever saved their life......

you see what im getting at right i am looking at carol i think carol may have put kris in a literal life debt situation. and given that shes apparently been collecting Heart Shaped Objects for years and the holidays and dreemurrs have been close since the kids were really young. i cant Not suspect she was planning to do it the whole time

and, if thats the case, setting asgore up to accidentally hurt kris & then swoop in as a savior would be a pretty smart move i think? and it would Definitely explain the divorce, and why toriel has custody, and why asgore is trying so hard to make up for everything. the only sticking point im having is that this would paint carol in a really unambiguously evil light and thats not how this series has done its characterization so far

but aside from that. the most important remaining question is obviously, "whose the fuck soul is that". because i dont think you find transplantable human souls just lying around. and it really doesnt have any basis in anything like the rest of this does but i think itd be really really funny(/horrifying) if we pulled a reverse undertale and it was frisk. sorry kris the ghost baby in your brain is choosing between your impulses at random they dont know what theyre doing sorry sorry sorry sorry

this is the springboard for like 90% of my mental deltarune theorycrafting right nowand im not even joking that much