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waitwiah · 5 months

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What do you do when it all gets too heavy?

\Post02\:Y’all! I have been M.I.A. and I’m sorry. Kind of. So this is going to be a long one. Sit down, grab a snack and a beverage (maybe of the adult variety) and let’s catch up.

*TW talks of w*ightloss & d*ath*

To say I have been going through it would be a massive understatement. I’ve been so up and down, I’m not even sure what’s next anymore. My health is worse than it was before and it really has me feeling some type of way. I leaned on my boyfriend for support a few times, not nearly enough because I’d hate to be a burden – but me being sick was taking an emotional toll on him… Let’s just say he may not be my boyfriend anymore. Who knows. I don’t know much about anything anymore. This sucks of course because he says, “I love you and I hope you get better. I want you to be healthy”. Then, he beats himself up for “NoT BEinG tHe MaN I deSErve". I HATE THAT. Don’t beat yourself up because I’m sick and it’s hard. If anything, he deserves a healthy, happy partner. Not whatever I am. I’m not the woman he deserves. Who deserves stress and uncertainty tainting a budding partnership? I know the answer to this one: nobody.

The things you fear deep in your mind actually becoming reality is such a strange feeling. Is everything secretly a premonition? Did I manifest this subconsciously? I really thought, “If I can’t be healthy, I can at least be happy”, but the universe threw that back in my face 10-fold. And I’m proven right, for once in my life, that no one can actually stomach (pun intended) being a sick person’s partner. Obviously, this doesn’t apply to everyone, but I sure as hell believe it applies to me. Outside of familial deaths, I’m not sure if I’ve ever been this sad in my entire life. This broken and beaten down. This… hollow. This sad and sick. This sick and tired. This done.

As I was on my way to work one morning, I managed to leave my feeding tube bag uncapped, so my formula spilled all over me, my car, my feeding pump, and my work bag. That was the last straw. After the special kind of hell I had been through the last few months, this is what happens? I had to turn around to go back home and change, clean up my car with a quickness, and make my way to work. I couldn’t do it. “There is no way I’m going to get through this day”, I thought to myself. I immediately called my therapist – she was unavailable. I called my mother – she was in a meeting of course; I asked if she could step away because it was important, but she didn’t understand. What could possibly be more important than her meeting? (Side note: she called me about an hour later, saying she stepped out of her meeting and couldn’t go back in because someone else was doing her presentation. I of course said everything was fine, it obviously wasn’t, so then she began giving me a speech about how I should be more rational and not so emotional. Just what I needed of course.) My friend who I would call was on vacation and my sister that I confide in was at work. The only person left to call was my father. THIS WAS A MISTAKE, AND I FEEL HORRIBLE.

My father asked me what was wrong and all I could say was, “EVERYTHING”.

My father actually called the police that day to do a wellness check on me because he was so scared by the sobs coming from deep within the pit of my pancaked, dysfunctional stomach. Oh, how I cried. I sobbed at what my life had become. On the floor, body shaking, eyes burning, feeding tube moving around my nose. The. Whole. Nine.

Over the last 6 to 8 months I’ve developed new symptoms, began having longer pain flares (sometimes for more than 10 hours straight), lost my prescription for my feeding tube, gained it back again, been turned away by doctors and picked up by them again. I was even told I should’ve gained at least 60lbs by now (I’ve only gained 2 or 3lbs in the last 2 years) and to do more exercise and add more calories. How am I expected to do all of that?

And the worst thing of all: I MET WITH PALLIATIVE CARE. I know what you’re thinking – I’m basically a child (in my mind at least), how can I take that step so soon? Well, I’ll put it like this: I have been fighting for so long, fighting my own demons, fighting the medical demons at the hospital otherwise known as Administration, trying to figure out my diagnosis, and dealing with several unexplained, non-specific findings on tests. There is no cure in sight. Hell, there’s barely any symptom management. The amount of pain I’m in and the weakness and the fatigue is enough to make anyone throw in the towel. SO, that’s what I kind of did. I set up a game plan for if (maybe when – I’m trying to be optimistic but realistic here) things don’t end up getting better in a timely fashion. I haven’t told my family yet, but if there’s no cure, no game-plan to fix whatever this is or lessening of this pain in the next 6 months, I’m stopping all my treatment. I’m going to just let whatever happens happen; I don’t have to tell y’all what’s going to happen. You know. I’ll be hanging out with Casper and them.

After that appointment I went down a rabbit hole. And if I’m being 100% honest (and I will keep it 100 here, that’s what this is for), I have made dissociating from my reality a daily task. It is necessary sometimes, especially when the weight of an illness/disorder/situation/disease starts to become a bit too heavy. Sometimes it is imperative you take a moment to distract yourself from your own reality – to take a break from things crumbling beneath your feet and imagine you’re standing on solid ground again. Even if it’s for a single moment or a few moments a day, a week, a month, etc.

But here I am, repeatedly fighting with doctors, nurses, administrators, insurance companies to say, “Hey! I deserve healthcare – good quality healthcare!” and for them to essentially say, “No, you actually don’t”. I let my (microscopic) social media following know that I actually wasn’t okay, and that I needed time to myself so I wouldn’t be answering any attempts to reach out for a while.

So if you’re my family or friends reading this – I’m still not answering communications right now. I just need time to process everything. I’m probably watching the entire John Wick or Mission Impossible movie franchise or escaping in a sappy book. And no. I’m not okay. Please try to ask me that less often.

To my readers: PLEASE DON’T GIVE UP YET. Keep trying to find answers. Keep arguing with whoever you need to in order to receive quality care, quality help, quality pain management, etc. You deserve to be here. You deserve the chance to be happy and healthy. I haven’t given up yet, though I may be close, neither should you. As always I’m here if y’all ever need to talk.

Anywaaayyyy. I’m going to do my best to be more consistent on here. And I may have given up on TikTok lol. We'll see.

Remember: you deserve the world and then some.

Take care xx

#undiagnosed #chronically ill #chronic illness #not okay #health journey #diagnosis #diagnosis journey #autoimmine disease #real #realistic #life is life-ing #everything's fine but not really #medical diary #medical diagnosis #health diary #wiah #waitwiah #new blog

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f1 · 1 year

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F1 race director handled Australian GP perfectly Alesi | RaceFans Round-up

In the round-up: Former Formula 1 driver Jean Alesi defends FIA race director Niels Wittich over his handling of the Australian Grand Prix. In brief Race director made right calls – Alesi After three red flags, two standing restarts and a multi-car crash, Wittich’s handling of Sunday’s race in Melbourne drew criticism from those who claimed the spectacle had taken priority over the sport. However Alesi is not among them. “I understand the impression of having seen a chaotic race but I don’t share the objections,” he told Corriere della Serra. “In my opinion, the race director applied the regulation perfectly.” While Mercedes said they were “very surprised” by Wittich’s decision to red-flag the race after Alexander Albon crashed at turn six, Alesi felt it was necessary. “On a track like the one in Melbourne, when gravel and other debris encroaches on the track, a red flag is a must,” he said. “As happened after the accidents involving Albon and Magnussen, after the collisions at the end. There are no alternatives and the risks for those who run are high.” ‘Webber’s hindsight is my foresight’ – Piastri Oscar Piastri admitted he doesn’t always see eye-to-eye with his manager Mark Webber, who eased his path into the sport where he raced for 12 years, winning nine races. “He’s incredibly good,” Piastri told Channel 4. “Obviously he’s been through my journey before, and especially now that I’m in F1, obviously he’s had an incredible career in F1 himself. He knows a lot of people in the paddock, pretty much everyone. “His hindsight is my foresight in some ways – he tells me all the time. Sometimes there’s a few decisions that maybe I don’t agree with but I always remember that he’s been here in my shoes before and there’s a very good reason why there’s some things he wants to do certain ways, which I’m incredibly grateful for.” Penske’s tribute to Lucy Foyt Roger Penske paid tribute to Lucy Foyt, the late wife of four-times Indianapolis 500 winner AJ Foyt, after she passed away earlier this week. “I have known AJ and Lucy Foyt nearly as long as I have been involved in racing,” said Penske. “So much of AJ’s racing success was rooted in the solid foundation of the love and support that Lucy provided for him throughout his career. “Racing can be a tough business, and AJ was not immune to the dangers drivers often face. It was Lucy who was always there to help AJ navigate through the hard times and get him back to his winning ways. “Most importantly, Lucy’s commitment to the Foyt family is her biggest legacy. Keeping the family connected allowed AJ to focus on being one of the greatest race car drivers of all time. I truly believe that it would have been hard for AJ to achieve all of his on-track success without Lucy. Our prayers and condolences are with AJ and the entire Foyt family.” Happy birthday! Happy birthday to Macleod, Josie Maunders, Bob and Rohnjaymiller! On this day in motorsport via RaceFans - Independent Motorsport Coverage https://www.racefans.net/

#F1 #F1 race director handled Australian GP “perfectly” – Alesi | RaceFans Round-up #Formula 1

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taikova · 4 years

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I found your tips were really helpful for some of the little details that a lot of tutorials don't touch on, like the neck being thicker than we think, or the rounded shoulders, and stuff like that. Most body type tutorials go for a more generalized visual/example based formula, without going too in depth, but sometimes the small stuff can be what pulls everything else together into something cohesive and satisfying, and they're easy to overlook. Tutorials or references which make note of those small details that often fall through the cracks is very appreciated.

for people wondering, these are the tips:

but oh yeah, maybe people doing the tutorials don’t think the tiny details are helpful and everyone needs more general guide on body types, but i thought pointing out the little observations that were helpful to me would help others too! like i think my tutorial is pretty specific to steven, because i kept wondering why my stevens post-timeskip looked slightly unsteveny (didn’t help that the movie kind of... thinned him out a little in some frames so i thought i had to say goodbye to the actually chubby steven.. but his updated model sheet still has the stockier frame!) i slowly got better at drawing him though and noticed some differences compared to the earlier attempts. using the things i’ve seen on character sheets and official notes for animators, and adjusted the design accordingly heheh.

from “the art of steven universe the movie”:

“art & origins”:

if you allow me a bit of a tangent, i want to point out how reading these bts notes has helped me: the above early steven guide from the “art & origins” book is kind of important, because until a while ago for some reason i had never internalised that his nose slopes from the middle of his eyes before reading this after end of s5. i adjusted my way of drawing him accordingly soon after (nowadays i prefer it less buttony than even the canon most recently had it, i kept the way it is in the above example and season 1.) even if you draw in a very realistic style, this is possible to implement, because nose shapes vary a lot! you just need to apply from real life too to make sense of it if your art style you’ve grown comfortable with (for example, sharp and tiiny anime noses) doesn’t allow it. it’s an opportunity to learn new things!

like, i used to draw him like this sometimes (2017). i definitely failed to make his face chubby and nose the way it’s supposed to be:

i was trying out realism in the above drawing and the real steven face shape seemed to completely disappear with it. funnily enough, this drawing from all the way back in 2015, below is much better:

i think i brought this^ style back afterwards since i realised it really really worked. i’m still proud of the full drawing.

next one is from 2016, and it seems that sometimes i ACCIDENTALLY made his nose where it canonically goes, but it’s a hit and miss and i clearly hadn’t thought about it that deeply.

in 2019 i had kind of grasped his face shape, like below! and i had retained some of that realism i had learned to do better, and already implemented it in my style. very happy about that.

and this post-SU-finale painting of steven has a kind of a strange nose (despite me probably having read the book already?), because i went for a realistic style and the slightly downward angle of his face made me fumble its shape. but i was getting there! and i think i grasped a way to draw his cheeks more full even with realistic style.

compared to one of my most recent drawing of him:

i mean, it obviously has taken me a while to learn, but it’s possible to actually “get” things like this (faster) if you study both the source material, study real life people, take notes once in a while and look at your old art and see what worked! i think my on-and-off nature of drawing fanart for SU has made my style fluctuate a lot, too, and i kept forgetting the details in the middle and brought in something from the other stuff i’ve drawn. which is why pointing out little details that are important once in a while is super helpful, even just for myself!

#infriga #asks #long post #image heavy #art help #steven universe

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csuitebitches · 3 years

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On being disciplined

Discipline can be really, really hard.

At some point of time, we all know that it’s not motivation that helps us achieve goals, but discipline.

Being disciplined can be exhausting. It can feel like everyday is the same day, and it can be scary for some people.

Self help books can often be annoying because they all repeat the same content more or less, just packaged differently.

So here are some easy steps to actually being disciplined.

1. Understand that discipline comes from accomplishing small tasks.

Here’s a simple formula:

Doing a task consistently = executing that task properly = experience in that task grows = results in confidence in doing that particular task

What’s something that you can do in practically your sleep? It could be something as small as making your bed (because you have practice!), baking a certain dessert that all your friends love (practice!), being able to understand how mitosis works (biology homework- practice!).

Everything comes from practice.

You can read as many books as you like, attend as many self-help conferences, but if you don’t put in the work, it’s money wasted.

2. So what kind of small tasks am I talking about to increase your discipline?

Here are some examples:

You really want to nap for 20 minutes. So you set your alarm, and you sleep. 20 minutes later, the alarm goes off.

Do you wake up? Or do you snooze for another 20?

Waking up after the first alarm goes off requires discipline. Sheer willpower.

Nail this step first.

By nailing just the art of waking of waking up at the time you were supposed to, you may be grumpy for a minute but you’ve done it! You battled the feelings of being lazy and sleeping in - and now you’re going to probably have a better day.

3. Outline 3-5 tasks that you think you need to do every single day in order to achieve what you want.

Here’s an example of mine:

My Goals:

To have the mornings to do my tasks, as opposed to sleeping in

To be able to learn something new everyday

To keep my brain and body active

To be aware of what’s going on in the world

This translates to my 5 tasks:

Waking up at 7 am

Working out

Reading the news

Playing brain games on my phone that help increase your thinking, creativity and intelligence (I use Elevate)

Reading 3 pages of a book

For me, I’m someone who loves seeing progress being measured. So I maintain a habit tracker.

This method may not work for everyone, but I get happy when I can tick those 5 boxes of my list every night.

4. Here’s how you set the correct goals:

How exactly do you come with those 3-5 tasks?

Make sure they’re relatively easy.

Reading 3 pages of a book, for example, is quite easy. It takes me around 5 minutes to do that.

Surely I can spend 5 minutes of my day to read just 3 pages?

Make sure that they’re attainable and you have a choice in that task.

If you don’t exercise, but you want to start, don’t start heavy. Especially if you’re working out by yourself.

“I’ll do a 90 minute workout today!” Turns to “God, I hate this, I hate working out, I’m never doing it again.”

So keep it attainable, even if you feel like you can do more.

Aim for working out 30 minutes a day for 2 weeks.

30 minutes a day, your choice of work out. Human beings love choice. We love choosing what to do. So give yourself the freedom to choose what you want to do.

Then increase that to 45 minutes for 3 weeks.

Then increase that again, if you want to, and if you feel comfortable.

Make sure it’s something you can do everyday for some time.

For example, reading the news is a daily ritual. I need to know what’s happening in the world. My work requires me to.

I can’t read the news weekly or monthly - it’s something that has to be done everyday.

So regardless of the type of day I’m having, this is something I need to do and is doable.

I can read the news on the train. On the bus. On the toilet. While I eat something.

It’s doable everywhere.

Obviously, it doesn’t apply to all your goals - you can’t workout on a train or in the classroom - but try to keep majority of your goals somewhat portable.

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a-very-tired-bitch · 3 years

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My new favourite movie: Handsome Devil

WARNING: I will be using words such as ‘queer’ and ‘gay’ to describe both real-life people and characters. This isn’t a warning for LGBT+ people existing (because, guess what, they do), this is just letting you know that I’ll be using these words and I know that some people may have experienced them in negative context and may not like them/may feel uncomfortable with them so I just wanted to put this out there and that I am in no way using these words negatively. Anyways:

I am utter trash for good queer stories in the media because, like most people who are like me, I’m constantly looking for some form of representation. So, when my friend insistently told me that ‘Handsome Devil’ was a really good film with gay characters, I was all in (even if it was a bunch of cis, white guys again). And, as you know, I loved it. Not only was the soundtrack amazing, the actors did a brilliant job (*ahem* Andrew Scott, my beloved), I completely lost my shit and I want to talk about it.

DISCLAIMER: These are just my interpretations and I’m not criticising any opinions that are different to mine. Just explaining why I disagree or why I saw the thing differently. Also SPOILERS.

1. Conor’s handshake with Pascal.

I saw this only like twice, but the two interpretations of this moment that I saw talked about Conor forgiving Pascal with this action when that clearly wasn’t what the movie was going for.

So, up till this point, Pascal has been a homophobic character, outwardly antagonistic towards Dan Sherry who is suspects is gay, even completely rejecting Conor, despite his previous adoration of him due to his rugby talent, because he is gay. And this type of authority figure is something that has failed Conor before, most painfully in his dad.

So why would he hold out his hand in forgiveness? Inspired by Ned, he played the second half of that rugby match for himself - not for the Wood Hill College rugby team, but for his own team made up of him and Ned. And this handshake represents the growth it took for him to do that (even if he was thrown in the deep end by Ned smh), that he’s stepping up to be the bigger person and that he recognises the work that went into this win, even if Pascal turned on him in the end but that it doesn’t mean forgiveness.

And that’s a really fucking badass moment.

2. The flawed mentor figure.

This was probably one of my favourite parts of the movie. Because this is something that we don’t see often at all in queer storylines. Whenever we see a movie or show with young queer characters getting help or advice from older ones, the mentor figure is usually portrayed as idealistically as possible: their advice is flawless, their life is put together, they’re out and proud etc. And Handsome Devil upturned that.

Dan Sherry is placed literally in the role of a mentor being Ned and Conor’s English teacher, but he’s not perfect. He’s in a place in his life where he’s come to terms with his sexuality, but he’s not in a place where he’s as confident as you’d expect for a character in the role that he’s in. And his advice is representative of that: on the rugby field, he doesn’t tell Conor to go out there and own the day, he tells him to keep it to himself for the moment, to keep hiding it just for a little while, that it gets better, that one day he won’t have to hide anything. And Conor immediately calls him out, asking why ‘never use a borrowed voice’ doesn’t apply to him. Dan obviously knows that the answer is ‘because this is different’ but he can’t bring himself to tell Conor that because sexuality shouldn’t be exempt from his advice and the fact that it is hurts them both.

And so, because of his characterisation in this movie, portrayed beautifully by Andrew Scott, we see him grow. It’s not just some proud smile as he watches Ned and Conor develop as people, it’s actual character growth because he sees their bravery and brings his own sexuality to light when he invites Arthur to the rugby match. You can see his nerves and his hesitations in the same way that you see Conor and Ned’s nerves and hesitations which creates such good depth in this movie.

3. They didn’t kiss.

I know some people didn’t like this. And I understand why - it’s a deviation from the standard formula, so it feels a bit like we were cheated out of a romance. But, I honestly feel like the ending we got was the best ending for the movie.

(Before we go on, I do want to quickly clarify that there’s no way their relationship is wholly platonic because Conor has this smile that is only directed at Ned when Ned’s not looking and there’s nothing heterosexual about Ned saying ‘all I can hear in my head is your voice and it makes me want to follow you’, so they’ll probably get together over the course of the rest of their time at school.)

Firstly, I think them getting together by the end of the movie would have been a bit rushed, especially since most of the shit that went down happened in the week before the rugby finals and they really didn’t talk to each other at all for that whole week so there are definitely some conversations that need to happen before anything romantic happens. They need to forgive both themselves and each other (yes, it could be argued that Ned outing Conor is worse than Conor shoving Ned to the ground but that doesn’t cancel it out).

Secondly, the movie ending was perfect. It’s a moment of euphoria for the both of them - Conor saves the match and Ned saves his friend. They have their moment of quiet happiness in a very-not-bro-hug an the team immediately jumps on them to celebrate. It’s a satisfying high-note to end on which is so wholesome and so well rounded-off but it leaves enough room for fan works and imagination which really is the best sort of ending you could get.

Everyone go watch Handsome Devil.

#handsome devil #andrew scott #movie #gay movie #gay #lgbt #i fucking love this #that gay shit

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maulusque · 4 years

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guess who just learned a whole lot about burns for a smut fic

it me.

so anyway now i have Ideas about how clone medics would treat blaster burns and they Definitely aren’t all going to make it into the fic because the blaster burn is honestly supposed to be an excuse for one character to undress the other

TW: burns, description of how severe burns affect the body (clinical, not graphic) and burn treatment

So, let’s assume that damage from a blaster bolt is basically a burn that is very small in terms of surface area, and whose depth depends on whether or not it was a direct hit, any armor you were wearing, the power of the blaster, etc. So you get 3rd and 4th degree burns that are like an inch square, which you don’t really see in the real world that often. I think any blaster bolt that comes into contact with a person is going to inflict AT LEAST a third degree burn (which means the epidermis and dermis are destroyed, basically the whole thickness of the skin), but usually would be deeper (4th degree), destroying muscle and bone and whatever else is in there. You’d only get away with a second degree burn if the blaster bolt just skimmed you and didn’t actually hit. Skin around the blaster wound would be white or black.

A skimming shot (2nd degree burn) would actually be the most painful, because once you get to 3rd and 4th degree burns, the nerve endings are destroyed so you don’t feel any pain. Which means that when you get shot with a full-power blaster bolt, you might feel a momentary flash of pain, but then nothing, and if the shot doesn’t immediately down you, you’d probably just keep going, and you might not even notice. Which. Imagine the angst potential of a clone trooper being shot 3 or 4 times and just. not knowing. Clone troopers who keep fighting despite being riddled with blaster bolts, right up until they collapse dead, never even knowing they were shot. Oof.

On the other hand, a weaker shot, say, one that hit a weak point in your armor or came from an underpowered blaster, might dissipate slightly on contact, meaning you’d still get the deep wound that wouldn’t hurt, but there’d be a small area of 3rd and 2nd degree burn around the opening, which would hurt like hell. A painful blaster wound would be a good sign, since it means it isn’t as deep.

Treating blaster burns wouldn’t be quite like real-world burn treatment, because real-world burns, especially severe 3rd and 4th degree burns, tend to cover a lot more surface area of the body than a blaster bolt would, because the things that tend to burn you that badly are not tiny and focused like a blaster bolt. Which means a blaster wound is probably less lethal than severe 4th degree burns, so yay for that i guess. Bacta patches, as well as the ability to cover the entire wound site easily without risking damage to delicate tissue, would greatly reduce the risk of infection.

Treatment involves excision (removal) of dead tissue, and usually for 3rd degree burns, skin grafts. 4th degree burns tend to need amputation- but I’m not sure if that would apply in a situation where the burn is deep but very small- instead of burning your fingers down to the bones (don’t go look at the wikipedia article for burns unless you want to see that), it’s just one small area of your body, with living tissue all around it. And since Star Wars has Magic Healing Juice, clone medics probably don’t need to go around performing amputations on everyone who gets shot in a limb.

I think that burn treatment in the Clone Wars would be somewhat like this:

-in the field, slap a big ol’ bacta patch on it, to protect the wound and help stabilize the patient until further treatment can be performed (bacta would help the body handle the sudden physical trauma, as well as actively fight off any infectious microorganisms). Most blaster burns would probably heal okay with just a bacta patch (see: Rex on Saleucami), but really won’t heal properly without actual treatment. (Although Rex seemed to be just fine the next day, despite the nerve damage that immobilized his arm. My personal theory is that Kix used some sort of mega bacta patch, a step up from the standard. The little blinky lights on it indicate that it has electric components for some reason, so my interpretation is that somehow that bacta patch has Extra Features (tm) that allow it to regenerate nerves)

-once there is more time, the patient can be treated for reals. Removal of dead tissue could be accomplished by a medic with a scalpel, but it would also be interesting if there was a patch or ointment of some kind which was applied to a wound which would just, dissolve the dead tissue without damaging the surrounding tissue. Perhaps it involves some sort of microbe. Sort of like those tanks of tiny fish you stick your feet in and they nibble all the dead skin off your toes? Like that, but microscopic and for wound care.

-the medic would then apply a burn patch, which is essentially a specialized bacta patch. The patch not only applies bacta to the wound, but also contains a pre-generated skin graft, so that as the wound heals, it incorporates the skin tissue from the patch into the healing wound site. The patch is not meant to be removed or replaced. Eventually, once the wound is healed, the top layer of the bacta patch is shed like dead skin flaking off a sunburn. These patches were developed specifically for the GAR, and can only be used on clones, since the skin tissue is generated from clone stem cells. The burn patches greatly speed up and improve burn treatment, since clone medics don’t have to go back in later and perform a skin graft, and subsequently monitor the healing of two wound sites, which would greatly increase the chance of infection.

-Nerve regeneration does not always occur with the standard burn patches, and if it does, is not always complete or perfect. Many clones, therefore, have small numb patches at the sites of old blaster wounds. They may also suffer chronic cutaneous pain at those sites. Unlike in the real world, treatment for this would exist, but would not be available to clone troopers since clone trooper healthcare sucks.

-Nerve-regenerating treatments, like Rex received on Saleucami, are expensive, and are only used when the nerve damage is severe enough to be disabling (e.g. Rex’s arm). The special patches are particularly costly, and normally Kix would have waited until Rex was back in the medbay in order to apply a slightly less costly treatment for his nerve damage, but since they weren’t able to transport Rex and had to treat him in the field, and the nerve-regeneration treatments become less effective the longer treatment is delayed, Kix used the Mega-Healing Patch right away.

-so post-engagement med-bays would have the following procedure: blaster wound patients who are well enough to move on their own (which is more of them than you might expect, since they’re not bleeding out or immobilized by pain), would line up in the med-bay, probably along a wall or in a designated area. Medical techs would go around, removing armor and blacks around wound sites and cleaning the area with water. They would then apply debriding ointment (the dead-tissue-eating stuff), and move on to the next patient while the microscopic pedicure fishes do their jobs. The patient would be checked every ten minutes or so to see if the ointment has finished removing all of the dead tissue. I think it would be cool if the ointment fizzed as it worked, due to the microorganisms releasing gasses as they metabolize dead tissue, and once the ointment stops fizzing, you know it’s done.

Once that is done, the ointment is gently removed, and a burn patch is applied. The patient is assessed for further treatment, paperwork is filled out, painkillers given if the wound is less severe (and therefore painful), and the trooper is free to go. Troopers would probably be talking to each other and cracking jokes, singing songs, or complaining about being bored. Most of them aren’t even in pain. Medics aren’t at all reluctant to physically hogtie a trooper to prevent them from moving since it’s easy to forget that you’re wounded and start roughhousing with your brothers.

-improperly treated blaster wounds, i.e. ones that only received a bacta patch instead of a burn patch, would take much longer to heal, would leave a more noticeable scar, and would cause the skin and muscle of the healing wound to contract, which could be painful and limit mobility, depending on the location of the wound.

-which is why it is common practice to check your squad-mates for blaster wounds they may have missed after engagements, and it’s not uncommon for a medic to menacingly track you down like “I know you got shot, i saw it happen, now get your ass into my med bay before i write you up for clinical stupidity”

so ANYWAY there’s my Clone Wars Medical Headcanon of the day, happy new year. I’m going to go back to writing my smut and if anyone can guess the pairing i will be VERY impressed

MORE under the cut because i fell down a bit of a rabbit hole lol

OKAY so dehydration is a big concern with burns because the skin is what retains fluid and severe burns obviously damage your skin. Fluid leaks from the burn area, since the skin is no longer present to contain it, and this leads to loss of electrolytes and dehydration, and can be lethal. From my brief google foray, it seems that it wouldn’t be a huge concern for blaster wounds, since the surface area that is burned is very small. However, multiple blaster wounds would probably be dangerously dehydrating. Clone troopers in standard blaster wound treatment (i.e. the guys sitting around bored while the debriding ointment fizzes) are probably fine with oral rehydration, meaning that someone shoves a bottle of rehydration formula at them and makes them drink it while they wait.

Patients with more severe blaster wounds are probably kept hydrated intravenously.

There are also potential complications during or after wound healing that are very interesting! Fluids continue to leak from damaged tissue while the wound is healing, and if the surface heals before the deep tissue, can lead to edema (basically, accumulation of fluid in body tissue) can occur. Edemas get worse with rehydration. If the wound doesn’t heal quite right, it can form a compartment, which is a closed space of muscle tissue, nerves, and blood vessels, surrounded by a fascia, which doesn’t stretch. If fluid is leaking into the compartment, the pressure can compress capillaries and nerves, which is called compartment syndrome. Troopers would be told to look out for the symptoms after they are released from medbay. Symptoms include:

-severe pain, out of proportion to the wound, which does not respond to pain medication

-paleness of skin

-weakness or, in severe cases, paralysis of limb

-prolonged capillary refill time (takes a long time for capillaries to refill with blood)

This would have to be surgically treated.

3rd degree burns in real life can take months or years to heal. Due to Star Wars Advanced Healing Juice, and clone trooper genetic enhancements allowing them to heal faster than standard humans, this time is reduced to weeks or even days (again, see Rex on Saleucami).

#tw: burns #clone trooper healthcare #hc #maulusque's stuff

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fencesandfrogs · 4 years

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a follow up from this post where i talk about math and me as a kid.

Wait you have dyscalculia but are a math major? Wow I have dyscalculia but I like the philosophy of math I guess like I sorta forced myself to get into it to learn, I feel I can do basic so for me it's mainly the math anxiety

@totallysweetheart

tl/dr: the part of my brain that deals with abstract/tangible is, i think, broken, because i can’t deal with numbers as real things, but i can do that with polynomials or w/e.

so to summarize, based on wikipedia’s list of dyscalculia symptoms, here is me:

analog clocks: i’m fine to 15min in real life where i know the time of day, but in a vacuum, most real clocks r tricky. doesn’t come up. the teaching clocks i’m usually fine with because the minute hour hands are really distinct.

larger numbers: depends on presentation. purely verbally? no. visually? depends. if they both start with the same number it’s harder.

sequencing issues: not really.

financial planning: bank accounts are black magic and my mom still manages mine. i err on the side of frugal, which lead me with like 50% of my college meal plan unspent last semester.

visualizing numbers: no. nope. can’t do. not at all. numbers r fake.

arithmetic: it sucks, a lot. i’m better at multiplying and adding, and it’s gotten better because i did a lot of practice a few years ago, but i still prefer calculators.

number writing difficulties: yeah? hard to say i’ve been doing algebraic stuff for a long time and that really cuts down on the number of places to make those kinds of mistakes.

concepts and practice: this is where i’m strongest. my math conceptual game is strong as hell, and i don’t usually struggle with putting it into practice. even word problems i’m pretty strong at because like. it’s just math.

names of numbers: not really an issue.

left/right: also not really an issue. although it takes me a second.

spatial awareness: doesn’t exist. just. doesn’t. people don’t believe me then they ask me how long something is and i say like three feet and they’re like “it’s taller than you” and i’m like “oh really? huh the more you know”

time: im timeblind af. also adhd tho so that doesn’t help.

maps: ehhhhh. hard to say. I’m okay with some parts of maps but not others. this has definitely improved since school.

working backwards in time: i have an app for that its beautiful and i love it

music: i am good at music notation. not great at rhythm but i’m good at music in general.

dance: i did 12 years of dance. i’m not amazing, but it was a nonissue.

estimation: see: time, spatial awareness (the answer is i cannot)

remembering formulas, etc: i’m usually good at remembering this stuff.

concentration: adhd already so? maybe?

faces, names: i do not do very well here.

so like. i basically have the best possible set of symptoms to become a math major. i kind of skirted attention as a kid because i could get around a lot of my difficulties and didn’t really have anything to do but use brute force to cram multiplication facts into my head.

and because i had this really strong conceptual understanding, i just sort of survived until algebra. at which point i was very happy.

because basically most of my dyscalculia issues revolve around numbers and the real world. i can’t do time, i can’t estimate, i can’t really work with numbers. but i can work with algebra because the concepts were fine. there was just a road block.

for me, it’s kind of like having a major speech disorder in your native language. speech in the your mouth doesn’t work, not the language issues. as a kid i loved writing because the words came out the way they were in my head. they didn’t get shuffled and mangled. and that’s also how i felt about algebra. like, look! you don’t have to worry about getting the numbers right if you can move the variables around,

and obviously it’s not that complicated because i’m skipping basically from fifth grade to my junior year of high school, but even though it was a constant friction between me and everyone about why i kept making careless mistakes, even after other adhd stuff got treatment, it was generally acknowledged that i knew what i was doing, so i never really developed math anxiety.

and as a math major, like, numbers are not a very large part of what you do. i use wolfram alpha a lot for solving that sort of thing. i do stuff that’s more about the logic parts of math. lil puzzles waiting to be solved.

it really does feel kind of like the abstract and tangible parts of my brain were swapped. because numbers really do feel abstract, but figuring out the equations of a graph is a fun game to play with friends. i usually get the constants wrong, but that’s besides the point.

i’m not entirely sure if this was helpful and/or clarifying in any way. if asked, i will usually not mention dyscalculia because? it just doesn’t feel very relevant/serious. because my management strategy is: don’t do anything with numbers and estimation ever. and then that works, because i don’t have to. it’s only really relevant in the context of me, a child, very confused about why those centimeter cubes exist, etc.

and also, as i got older, i dug more and more into theory and proofs. learning about numbers as entities that follow rules was a really useful thing for me. learning about negative numbers made subtraction easier for me because it wasn’t addition in reverse, it was addition of a negative number. which made more sense to me.

i struggled in high school geometry because of all of the numbers and angles (i have a shirt somewhere that says “all i learned in geometry is that you can’t measure shapes”) and every time someone pointed out applications to me i kind of just went “okay but there are rulers for that”

and i do like geometry! i like how we can build properties out of simple rules and how shapes behave and its really cool you only need like 5 postulates to build a lot of geometry but if you make me deal with too many angles and i want to cry

so yeah. uh. i’m a math major & it works because when we deal with numbers, they’re almost variables in themselves? like okay we’re going to use 0 and 1 here to apply this theorem but the numbers themselves aren’t relevant.

here is a screenshot from my calc textbook, if this helps make my point. most of these concepts are things i can just. put in my head and hold the way people who can think about numbers describe numbers to me.

i have no idea where u are in ur life but if u like math from the logic side, then pure math exists and its p cool. usually you gotta get thru calculus, and then take a course in proof writing (at my uni it’s called “transition to advanced math”) at which point everything turns into theorems and proofs and the most number intensive course is probability. i don’t even need statistics credits to graduate.

this was a lot and i tried to wrap it up like 3 times and then i had more to say because i think a lot abt math and the fact that i was lucky to have the right opportunities to not entirely chase myself away from the field (which is a lot more words and i should probably work on my hw) but if u have more questions lemme know bc! i am very dedicated to exposing people to math and why i love it.

#dyscalculia #twice exceptional #university #math #mine #txt #25th #January #2021 #January 25th 2021 #ask #not really but also yes #learning disabilitiies #essay

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sofipasternack · 4 years

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NaNoWriMo Preptober Checklist

Okie dokie artichokies, if you’re gonna do NaNo this year, listen up! Here’s my checklist I need to complete in order to have a great and successful time fast drafting. Disclaimer: This is just the way I plan and write. If it works for you, great! If it doesn’t, cool! There’s no wrong way to prep and write! You do you!

Okay here’s the checklist: (P.S. for some reason the formatting of this post is an entire mess, and I don’t know how to fix it. 😩It looks fine in the editor.)

Who the heck?

Protagonist: The mainest of the main characters.

Deuteragonist: The secondary main character. Best friend, love interest, wise-cracking animal sidekick...

Antagonist: Some jerk.

Rando NPCs: As you’re planning out your protagonist’s path, jot down any NPCs the might meet. This could include mom/dad, school bully, local wizard, innkeeper, space ship captain, etc. They don’t need arcs, just a couple traits that make them interesting!

Character Arc Formula

The Lie: The incorrect belief your character has about themselves, the world, or other people. This is enabled by the starting place in the story: the village, the orphanage, the abusive home, the dead-end job. The character puts up with a less-than-ideal environment or relationships because of this Lie.

The Want: The thing your character thinks they need in order to be happy. This is a Want that will further shore up the Lie. The Want is formed under the assumption that the Lie is true. For example, the character stays at a dead-end job because they think they're not good enough for their dream job. Their Want is to get promoted at this dead-end job because they think this will make them feel better.

The Truth: The thing your character needs to learn that will actually make them happy. The Truth can only be achieved once the Lie is identified as... a lie. In the above example, the Want is the get promoted at the dead-end job. But theTruth is for the character to realize they ARE good enough for their dream job, to quit the dead-end job completely, and go try to land their dream job.

The Wound: Optional! The thing that happened in the character's past that makes them buy fully into the Lie. In our example, the Wound could be a hyper-critical parent who always told the character they were never good enough.

Why the heck?

Who is your audience? I’m serious. Figure out who you’re writing this story for. No, you can’t say “everyone!” cuz, no offense, it’s impossible to create a story that everyone universally likes. Figuring out your audience early in the drafting process is going to help you later when you’re trying to choose between two plot paths, or determine character motivations, or deciding whether to include poodoo bad words. You can ask, “What would my target audience want?” If you know who you’re writing for, then you know who you’re NOT writing for, and you can dump their opinions and desires into the trash so you have more time and energy to focus on your actual audience! The narrower the better!

What the heck? Develop your barebones outline!

The Hook: Okay, first, boop on down to the climax and figure out what’s going on down there. Then come back here. If your character ends happy, start them sad! If they end in a position of power, start them downtrodden. They're fully sold to the Lie here. No Truth in sight! The point of the hook is to, well, hook the reader so they can't walk away. Give them something to root for in your character. Even if they're sad and downtrodden, make them immediately interesting and endearing so the reader has no choice but to read on.

Plot Turn 1: If you're going by Acts, Plot Turn 1 gets your character into Act 2. This is the big upheaval, the call to adventure, the point of no return. The character moves out of their comfortable village into the great wilderness... AND IT SUCKS! They're trying to apply the Lie to a world that rejects it, so things keep going wrong and the character has no idea why.

Pinch 1: The antagonist is introduced. This forces the character into action. Remember, they were just thrust into their new world via Plot Turn 1, and it kinda sucks. They want to go back home--back somewhere the Lie makes sense--but the antagonist isn't going to let them.

Midpoint: Your character has been clinging to the Lie so far, but the midpoint is where they make a conscious mental shift from their starting state to their ending state. Now is where they start to realize, "Hey, maybe the Lie isn't so great after all." For pacing, this should happen approximately at the 50% mark of the book. If your character moves into their final state too early, you're going to have a draggy second half and the change is going to feel abrupt and unearned. If they move too late, they will be frustratingly inactive for way too long, and you may lose your reader.

Pinch 2: The jaws of defeat! The antagonist is back, meaner and more powerful than ever. Pinch 2 is the end of Act 2 and what will take us into Act 3, where the protagonist is at their lowest point and all seems lost. This is the dark night of the soul. This is the worst case scenario. How is the protagonist going to survive this? Make the reader doubt that the happy ending they want is possible. The character has been learning to accept the Truth and has been slowly rejecting the Lie, but at this point the Truth seems unattainable, ridiculous, unrealistic, or just plain impossible.

Plot Turn 2: Plot Turn 2 is the start of Act 3. The antagonist just swooped in and trashed the character's stuff, and your character is at their lowest point, barely hanging on to whatever they hold dear. Then suddenly... EUREKA! They get what they need to defeat the antagonist, because at this point they completely let go of the Lie and embrace the Truth. Embracing the Truth maybe entirely metaphorical, like Po realizing there is no secret ingredient, or represented by a physical object, like a weapon or piece of technology. Everything is now assembled for the final showdown!

Climax: This is when the character has fully rejected the Lie, and totally embraced the Truth! The climax is going to happen about 10% from the actual ending of the book. This is the completion of the character's arc, and the answer to the thematic question you posited in the first act of the story. There is a resolution after the climax, used to tie up loose subplot threads and show your character in their new world.

And that’s it, friends! Figure out and write down all that stuff, and you’ll have a basic road map to your story. This helps you sit down and draft your butt off without having to pause and think, “Wait, what’s the character’s motivation again?”

Obviously none of this is set in stone, and if you start writing and realize your story is going in a different direction (it happens!), adjust your map and sail full steam ahead!

Good luck during NaNo this year!

#nanowrimo #nanowrimo 2020 #nano 2020 #nanowrimo prep #preptober #writing #writeblr

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r0h1rr1m · 4 years

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rambly inception thoughts p.2

this has been kicked off, specifically, by disliking that i failed to include yusuf in this post but there’s already so much going on there re: exact limits/mechanics of imagination in dreams, how to call down projections, moral relativism, crack chara psych, and speculating on the future of ari’s career--and i explained most of it poorly anyway so it’s probably for the best!

to start with, i’ve always imagined that there’s a huge variety in the caliber/class of chemist u can hire in dreamshare. the title probably applies even to people whose capability starts and stops at sourcing base product for somnacin and/or the finished drug. the next level up can maybe mix up different kinds to standard specifications. idk how much education/training u’d need to be able to do this, bc i v much do not chemistry, but i’d bet there’s a lot of variety in ppl’s qualifications in this category, too. a standard formula might affect different ppl slightly differently, like any psychotropic drug (is that even the most sensible analogy to real-world science? idk and i don’t want to risk hours of ultimately fruitless wikipedia spiralling), but in the same vein, the variances will all probably fall within a reasonable range of the same functionality. without, like, some sort of neuro degree, probably, the most fine-tuning a chemist could do is optimize doses/known variants of the drug through trial and error in preparation for a job.

our man yusuf definitely has a high-level neuro degree

so, just like the rest of the team, yusuf is obviously a total powerhouse in his field. like i said, it must take sophisticated knowledge of brain chemistry in order to do what he did on the fischer job, as well as the same mad genius as the rest of them. (as an aside, can i just say how utterly delightful a team dynamic is “group of geniuses who surround themselves with enough people who are the same kind of batshit to normalize it”? i’m weak) and idk how someone gets famous in like neurochem but yusuf is so brilliant he was probably p well known. js imagine the comedic potential of whatever rising-star chemist meeting yusuf and js going dr. ____?! who published those completely revolutionary but completely balls-to-the-wall studies on x and then after throwing the discipline into an uproar either a) dropped off the face of the earth and is now known as smth of an urban legend/cryptid in the community or b) still corresponds w experts in the field but now about the wildest shit and ppl kind of have to mythologize/not think too hard abt the dude who walks in ppl’s heads in order not to risk js breaking everything

so yusuf knows his shit and his initial assertion that 3 levels is impossible can be trusted to carry a lot of weight. which means the fact that he proceeded to do it more than secures his place in the cast of demonstrable prodigies

now, bc this is ostensibly a continuation of a post that’s loosely focused on charas’ moralities, let’s look at the 2 parts of the movie where we most directly confront yusuf’s: his dream den and hiding the sedation from the team. i’m going with the assumption that any legitimate/legal research and application of dreamshare has been discontinued.

come yell at me for over oversimplifying, but that makes the question of the dream den seem p straight-forward. yusuf faced giving up dreamshare research (or came onto the scene after it was already illegal, which could make for some rly interesting stories abt how he would’ve found out abt it) and couldn’t, so he had to find a way to continue on his own. and since it would be in rly bad faith to assume he doesn’t have the full consent of all his test subjects, that’s js that. (i’m not going to argue abt the difference b/w ethics and morals, and i’m laughably unqualified to discuss the ethics of human experimentation anyway so moving on)

hiding the fact that the team was sedated was a major plot point and is discussed w according frequency, so i’m sure most ppl have their own opinions abt what this says abt the parties involved. i’ll readily admit that my view is heavily colored by the fact that i js plain like yusuf. he’s a likeable guy. (i’ll try not to go off on a tangent, but i know that my reasons for disliking cobb are a little unfair; it’s more about narrative structure than any of his personal failings. the fact is i have a weakness for hypercompetence, and cobb is presented as someone who used to be the best, but is no longer reliable. he shows flashes of his old brilliance running the mr. charles gambit successfully and improvising capitalizing on the appearance of fisher’s browning projection on l2, but he’s desperate enough to be untrustworthy and further, he’s untrustworthy in a way that is eminently predictable by the audience. we know from the get-go that his shade is gonna sabotage something, and it’s hard not to blame him for that. we also know from the get-go that he’s desperate enough to drag other ppl into a fool’s mission, and that he’s hiding something dangerous from arthur, who by all appearances should be the person cobb can trust, and the person to whom it’s most important to know that kind of shit. i’m not gonna pretend i anticipated that big twist in the parking garage on l1, but it makes a ton of sense in retrospect and all this makes it easy to see why cobb is so widely mistrusted/disliked by the fandom. and i went off on a tangent, whoops.)

so picking back up at yusuf is a likeable guy--he seems p friendly and easy-going and i thoroughly enjoyed every scene of him on l1. i’m gonna say a lot of his moral considerations come in the form of deciding what is or isn’t his responsibility. mbe he avoided or suitably resolved the thorny ethical question of human experimentation in the same way i kind of did: by saying that the participants agreed to it on their own and leaving it there. this kind of reasoning is how he would’ve let cobb take responsibility for sedating and then informing the team. it’s also probably how he decided to cue the kick early on l1 and make it everyone else’s problem. which i do think was the right decision! it would be absurd to suggest that this highly intelligent man’s patterns of reasoning are always questionable. but i do see a pattern.

as for the advice he’d give ari, i think a lot of this relates back to my mention in the earlier post of whether or not she could let an institution/legislation dictate her ethics to her. i’ve since decided that it’s simpler to assume the institutions are all outside the law, though, so i’m not going to think abt that anymore unless directly prompted. one thing we do know abt ari, though, in contrast to my suppositions abt yusuf, is that she has a v strong sense of responsibility. she took it upon herself to manage cobb, and she took it upon herself to save the job, fisher, saito, and cobb when it looked like everything had been ruined. thinking abt it now, this makes for further interesting contrast w arthur, whose sense of responsibility seems to revolve around personal loyalty, eames, whose sense of responsibility is acutely pragmatic, and saito, whose sense of responsibility is on the grand scale of stopping a monopoly (suitably ironic).

again, idk if i’ve rly made any kind of point, and now i want to go back and build elaborate hierarchies of skill in each job description (architect, extractor, etc) like i kind of did for chemists but, well. if u made it this far bless u, i hope u have a wonderful day. vote

#inception #yusuf #ariadne #arthur #eames #saito #if u haven't check out p.1 cus there's a lot there that i never rly expanded but am figuring out how to #running my mouth #yes absolutely #dom cobb

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elv--eyera · 4 years

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A GIF-by-GIF Analysis of the 2013 Revival of Jekyll & Hyde’s version of “Transformation.”

TRIGGER WARNINGS: talk of needles / injections. Mention of potential bodily harm / death. Some bad language.

The 2013 revival went in a very, very different direction than how the scene is normally staged, so I wasn’t originally going to start this little series with analyzing this one. This “Transformation” goes far, far beyond the usual bad lab safety, and I felt like it’s be especially weird to apply any sense of realism to this production, where the concepts seemed to be all over the place. People wanted this one, though, and I’m going to give the people what they want, dammit.

This writeup could actually make the case that based on this HJ7 setup, 2013Revival!Jekyll is the most mad-scientist-esque interpretation of Jekyll that the musical’s ever featured.

A disclaimer: I’m not a doctor or a scientist. I’m just one (1) smartass that did a bit of research and is taking things both far too seriously and not quite seriously enough. I am not pointing out every single issue here... just the absolute worst ones. And yes, it’s dumb to apply medical / scientific standards to a theatrical production. But it’s also fun, on occasion!

You can watch the scene here!

Let’s get this started with a bang!!

For starters, Jekyll really should put on protective gear like a lab coat, safety goggles and gloves if he’s going to be working with a chemical formula. He doesn’t do those things, but Constantine at least puts on an apron halfway through This Is The Moment. (It’s a leather apron because this is the 2013 revival, so of course, it’s leather. Because... ~aesthetic~ and ~steampunk~ and ~sexy~.)

“delicious. finally, some good fucking gloves.”

I watched this video after watching about 10 ish other Jekylls not wear gloves or ANYTHING protective, so I was absolutely rejoicing to see someone finally have them. Also, I like the kind of endearingly awkward way Constantine fiddles with them in between This Is The Moment and Transformation, but that’s not lab safety related, so, moving on-

Now we’re getting to the bad lab safety - all these gigantic flasks of chemicals were all open and unattended when he came back! Leaving it open is just making it so easy for your freakin’ formula to get contaminated! Not only has that probably ruined the shelf life of the chemicals, you definitely shouldn’t just leave them bubbling.

Also, watch how in the above gif he has to pour the green formula in each tube individually, one at a time...

... but the red formula affects all the tubes after only one drop.

Make it make sense ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

After making me SO happy by wearing gloves, he just flings them on the damn floor. That made me sad! I cared about those gloves, Constantine. Those gloves didn’t deserve that, Constantine! My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.

After he wheels the giant tubes of formula up to the sky, he starts to go all stabby on his neck and wrist, putting the IV tubes with injection needles in the little holes of the metal gauntlets. I wanted to try and not try to push realism on this too much because that’s obviously not what they’re going for, but this in particular would fuck someone up and I just gotta go into that.

The neck is literally the most high-risk place to inject a human. It’s so easy to fuck up your breathing or heartbeat or brain by injecting into the wrong spot and hitting the arteries. Putting on the gauntlet thing would make it super hard to locate and inject into a vein, making it super easy to trigger all the issues that happen when you miss a vein and just go all stabbity stabbity on your friggin’ neck. Also, if he was going to do this on someone else, how does he account for where their veins are?

Okay, I’ve gotta address this - Six different tubes / injection sites with ten giant jugs of evil juice is WAY too much HJ7 going into one person at one time!! Your body is going to be 100% flooded with chemical evil juice!! You’re gonna OD on the fateful brew!! And it’s bubbling - for god’s sake, Jekyll, if you inject a liquid with tons and tons of air bubbles, you are going to get an air embolism and fuck yourself up!!!

*deep breath*

It’s becoming super clear that they went for a cool-looking steampunk aesthetic, and I get that, and that’s valid... but along the way they created something that would horribly, absolutely fuck up an actual human person. I don’t want to get too far into all of the different reasons and ways it would unless someone asks for more detail (which I kinda hope someone does, honestly). I’ll just leave it at this: with this setup, Henry Jekyll is actually incredibly lucky that he somehow became a physically healthy but murderous dude, as opposed to dying painfully.

Back to the action - this really bugs me, and let me know how you feel about this - why is everything already set up for him to administer the treatment to himself when he didn’t plan on doing that until right before this song? Specifically, why on earth would the lever to administer the treatment be placed on the chair of the person who’s receiving the treatment?

Also looking at his reaction - geez, maybe it hurts cause you’re injecting gallons of evil juice into your body without even looking for one vein!

OK, so when he (as Jekyll) put in the little IV things, he winces a bit, right. But he just flings them off as Hyde! That’s got to HURT!!

IN CONCLUSION:

There’s so much to say here. The designers seemed to want to create a thrilling, interesting-looking showpiece for Transformation, when the actual interesting thing about the scene is not the formula itself or how it’s administered, but how Jekyll reacts to it. This setup is absolutely, insanely bonkers, but somehow the most ridiculous thing about this isn’t the absolute overkill of the tubes and LED lights and giant bubbling flasks and electricity sound effects. No. The most ridiculous, gobsmacking thing about this, is that he lives.

It’s interesting to think about this, though - The unprecedented, dangerous aspect of Jekyll’s research, and the mad-scientist angle isn’t usually something played up in the musical. I think that’s worth exploring. I wonder what the creative team’s thought process was when conceiving this whole thing.

Thanks for everyone that read this and huge special thanks to those who reblogged the Henry Jekyll Lab Safety Discourse and who encouraged me to write this. I hope you enjoyed reading this. I know too much about injections now, and it’s because of you.

#Jekyll & Hyde #jekyll & hyde the musical #henry jekyll #jekyll and hyde #constantine maroulis #jekyll #I cant watch this without going OWWWW #Thanks y'all #j&h lab safety discourse #my j&h shitposts #THAT'S TOO MUCH FATEFUL BREW

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smileitwillgetbetterbitches · 5 years

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Okay so I know we all love to joke that no one in the Hargreeves family has any brain cells, which honestly is hilarious and let's not stop, but I feel like they have tons of brain cells, but like not in the right places.

Like Luther is obviously a genius, he was up on the moon for four years conducting research that requires a lot of scientific knowledge, but I also feel like he’s the kind of dude to have no idea how to crack an egg. You can ask him the correct formula for a rocket launch, the current phase of the moon, the angle the sun hits the moon, and he could respond without hesitation. But ask him what a cake is made out of? What the nearby coffee shop is?? Literally, people consider basic knowledge??? Ask somebody else dude his head is filled with facts but not on what you're looking for.

Diego? He knows the math it takes to perfectly guess where his throws are going. He knows how to read and assess enemies in real life and in the boxing ring. Can anticipate people’s moves and react accordingly. But then actually knows nothing about how human emotions work and probably doesn’t know that calling someone a shitbrain will hurt their feelings. Patch once said “I love you” to him and he threw himself out a window. He is a huge dumbass who saw a metal mask and thought “Ah, I should headbutt this”

Allison is probably the smartest when it comes to people. But you think that girl knows how to apply for a job? You think she knows how to pay taxes?? You think she knows what it’s like to deal with an angry customer when its 9pm and your shift ends in five minutes??? She has no real-life work experience lets be honest but on the flip side she’s an actress, so she probably has a wide variety of different professions and ways people react so she can replicate that. She’s also known to be a really good detective, so like she knows her way around a library and has basic people reading skills.

Klaus, oh Klaus is a dumbass through and through. He’s seen doing stupid ass things all the time. But like, he is the person to know those weirdly specific facts that no one ever cares about. He doesn’t realize staying in an active war zone cause you saw a cute guy is probably not the best idea, but he can tell you how many calories you burn by smashing your head against a wall for an hour. (Btw the answer is 150 calories) He eats a dirty bagel out of a dumpster that is probably chocked full of germs without hesitation but he does know that a hummingbird can flap his wings 70 times in a second. If stopping the apocalypse was all about random facts that no one cares about? It would be stopped within a minute.

Five is considered a genius, he knows complex mathematic formulas and the secret to time travel and how to best kill a dude, but he is lost when it comes to everyday things. Dealing with people? He’s an idiot he’s never around people for most of his life because he was stuck in an apocalypse. The first time he sees someone cries he literally has no idea what to do. Comforting people? Nope, he’s lost. You think he didn't freak out the first time he saw a train? What about when his siblings roped him into celebrating Halloween or Thanksgiving? He’s out of his depth there. But you want to know how to travel in time and how to best kill someone with a pen? You want to know Delores's favorite color? Want to know if twinkies really do last forever? He’s your guy.

Ben, sweet little Ben. He was so smart, so sensible, then he had to spend a decade or two with Klaus and now his logic is reduced to saving Klaus from dangerous situations and longing to go see the ocean. Like he’s probably nodding along to every dumbass thing Klaus does. “We're going to go rob this store because Luther and Five were mean to you? Hell yeah we are, let’s go.” Klaus and Ben are the best dumbass duo and you can’t change my mind. But also like, Ben is the smartest in a way? Like he knows that people can take life for granted and he’s always encouraging Klaus not to? I feel like he’s very in touch with his feelings and would host family therapy nights when he can become corporal where he literally gets to the root of everyone's problems within seconds.

Vanya is fairly smart, but that girl has been on emotion suppressing drugs since she was FOUR people. She has no idea how to process emotions other than literally blowing up the moon. But when it comes to everything else? She’s the most grounded in reality. She understands how the world works, how to get a job, how to buy a house, how to make money. She lives a normal life, meaning she does know how to function. She could probably teach the rest of their lessons on how to live normally. And violins! She can teach little kids how to do that, meaning she’s really good at dealing with kids and explaining things. And like, Shes amazing at the violin so she probably knows everything violin related too.

In conclusion, the apocalypse didn’t happen because they all are super dumb, it happened because they are all super smart, but like in the wrong ways. So the Hargreeves all collectively have a single brain cell for each of them, it’s just a very small very specific brain cell that bounces around their heads like the windows icon and when it hits a corner they can actually think a helpful thought.

#The Umbrella Academy #Luther Hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #Diego Hargreeves #Klaus Hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #THis was not meant to be as long as it is #I am so sorry for making you read this #or if you didn't I really dont blame you #it's 3am what am I doing

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teflonsos · 4 years

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⌠ MIGUEL HERRAN, 21, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, RICARDO ‘RICKY’ ALONSO! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in DRIVER’S ED; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (5 a.m. cigarettes after a sleepless night, the smell of burning rubber after driving so fast you break the sound barrier, cheap vodka in an expensive shotglass, scraped knees and elbows from reckless parkour). when it’s the (scorpio)’s birthday on 11/04/98, they always request their CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kati, 23, est, she/her ⍀ @gallagherintro

STATS / PINTEREST / CONNECTIONS / CLASSES

INSPIRATION.

fernando alonso – formula 1

james hunt – formula 1

jp – redline

peter quill – guardians of the galaxy

emmett cullen – twilight

mercutio – romeo & juliet

han solo – star wars

charlie pace – lost

vert wheeler – acceleracers

BACKGROUND + CLICK FOR FULL BIO.

when ricky is born, there are expectations as the firstborn male but they are expectations that ricky refuses to meet. he’s stubborn, insolent, and straight up annoying. his dad is mysteriously never around and his mother suffers from chronic illness, so he generally has free range of the house and...free range to harass and drive out nanny after nanny

his younger sister is the balancing force in his life, proper in all the ways that he’s a mess and polite in all the ways that he’s uncouth. however, they get along really well and she’s his best friend in an otherwise large, empty house.

as he gets older, his father’s comings and goings are more noticeable to ricky and he realizes that he doesn’t really understand what his dad’s job actually is? and his father won’t answer his questions about it either. one night, when ricky is about ten years old, he sneaks downstairs to find his father covered in blood. at first he screams until he realizes, that’s not his father’s blood – it’s someone else’s.

put the pieces together, his dad is a blackthorne alumn, assassin, and...brotherhood member.

ricky doesn’t really get the chance to be close with his parents, but he is super close with his grandfather. his grandfather is a big man with a full laugh who used to race formula one like, back in the sixties. he’s a big name, and ricky wants to be like him, and his grandfather is the one that gets ricky really into the sport. racing.

ricky starts off by racing t cars, and when he’s fourteen and sneaking out to the track with his sister, things go awry. they’re stopped and kidnapped by brotherhood members. from conversations by the kidnappers, he can surmise that his father has something to upset the brotherhood and the kidnapping is a move to keep his father in his place. ricky have to listen to his father tell the kidnappers he doesn’t give a fuck about him (likely a bluff, but still stings) over the phone.

ricky’s father’s move doesn’t work, and he doesn’t get to them in time. ricky has to beg on the phone for his life. a gunshot rings out. everything else is a blur.

ricky wakes up the next day with a million questions, but there’s one answer: his sister will never walk again. a gunshot has left her without the use of her legs, but otherwise she’ll make a full recovery. she encourages ricky to continue his racing and tells him how much she believes in him.

he takes home trophies year after year while t car racing and people start to learn ricky’s name, to see him as an up and comer as they associate him with his grandfather. the next four years are hard work, but he’s healing from trauma with a new passion and a great support system.

ate age 19, he’s on the podium after his third formula three race, and he wins the championship, raining champagne on his teammates and laughing. his nights are busy, filled with parties and clubs, pretty girls and people willing to give him whatever he wants.

he awaits the next season and the rise into formula two, but he’s getting ahead of himself. late nights spent partying before the race take their toll on him, and his sister says it best. “you shouldn’t go out there,” she says. “i have to go out there. it’s fine, i’m just a little hungover. besides, it’s raining today. i have the advantage.” but he never learns.

ricky crashes hard, lucky to get off with a tbi and some broken ribs, but the drugs in his system render him a pariah and no one will really want to sponsor him after that. everyone had high hopes for him, but now he just looks like another stupid kid. he’ll never forget the disappointment in his grandfather’s eyes.

he spends most of the year blowing previous winnings.

after all of that bullshit, his grandfather sits him down. “you’re going to apply to gallagher academy,” he says. and that’s when he tells ricky everything, about his father’s profession, just like his grandfather’s brother and father before him. the legacy, the brotherhood, blackthorne academy, and ricky’s both riveted and horrified. “that’s what my sister got shot for?”

ricky passes the test while the brotherhood still has its claws clenched tightly around the reigns of gallagher academy somewhere. he’s a good driver, the fastest, and he might’ve been the best if he wasn’t so irrational and drunk on his own pride (among other things.)

before he can gain the skills to stop his father himself, someone else does. the news comes on ricky’s very first day of school: “dad’s been arrested.” and it’s like his whole world stops, because he always knew his father was bad, just someone else got to him first.

PERSONALITY.

ADVENTUROUS: ricky is not afraid of risks, and actually, this is usually in a good way. he pushes himself to want and pursue fulfilling life experiences, so while he’s made stupid decisions, he never lets fear stop him from taking chances and trying new things, so he’s pretty open-minded

CHARISMATIC: pretty good at putting on a smile and making himself likable when he needs to be, he has a nice smile and a good-natured spirit even if he can be a bit MUCH at times ! the kind of asshole that you can’t help but like anyway, he means well

FLEXIBLE: one of his great strengths is his ability to go with the flow, it doesn’t change him around or turn him inside out when things don’t go his way, he’s pretty adaptable and able to adjust when there’s a wrench in his plans

SELF-DESTRUCTIVE: ricky has a habit of ruining things when they’re going good for him, he’s notorious for self-sabotage and it probably comes from a mix of feeling like he’s invincible so he pushes limits and because he’s almost comfortable in the label of fuck-up at this point, not wanting to get his hopes up too high

ENTITLED: whether he likes it or not, he comes from a good family and a past where most things have just been handed to him. so, while he’s worked hard, he’s never had to work...that hard. he feels entitled to success and certain things in life and he can be a bit of a dick about it, even out of touch with other ways of life. he tends to feel like he deserves things, such as his gallagher education or another chance at racing

SELF-CENTERED: apart from his sister, ricky very much puts himself first and can be a bit selfish. it’s mostly out of self-preservation, but most of his thoughts revolve around him. he actually puts a lot of pressure on himself, which is why he turns to unhealthy coping mechanisms and doesn’t look at how his actions affect others in his life

HEADCANONS.

when it comes to his memory loss, it’s pretty manageable. he keeps up with medication and IF he gets a good night sleep/eats well...it’s good on his brain. but sometimes he’s not so great about it! his most common habits are: putting something down and forgetting where he just put it, asking you a question he’s already asked, and he’s bad with names

used to be good at fighting games but now he isn’t and he still tries and it’s sad :(

as you can guess, he’s really bad at card games but he likes to gamble so he’ll just bet on other stuff. always ready to put money on the results of a sports game or something, loves to do fantasy brackets

really likes anime movies! watches a lot, but his faves are obviously redline, akira, princess mononoke, perfect blue, and ghost in the shell. he watches anime too and tbh probably a lot of anime i’ve never seen like naruto, one piece, and cowboy bebop. for my sanity please don’t talk to much about them with him bc i won’t know what to write.

loves to skateboard and snowboard, and is pretty good at it because really the main thing is confidence and he has plenty of that!

loves to play pranks in class or on people, he’s got a whole repertoire of tricks he used to play on his nannies growing up and has no issue with playing them on a teacher with a stick up their ass

his primary coping mechanisms are 1) hating his father 2) cocaine and 3) acting stupid

is bisexual and honestly doesn’t give a fuck! guys, girls, whatever, sex is sex and he’s gonna like who he likes. has never come out to his parents but has never known them well enough for it to matter.

had a steady long term girlfriend but she broke up with him when he started to tank his future and started partying more, probably as self-preservation for herself and ricky feels guilty about how he treated her, doesn’t want to put anyone else through that

really likes german cars so it’s a bummer that he missed out on the berlin trip, he’s going to geek out and cry any time someone mentions berlin to him, he’ll be so jealous of their semester

has wicked good eyesight, 20/20 vision which is great on the track but he also has really good aim on a shooting range, he’s a pretty observant person as well

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

BROTHERHOOD CONNECTIONS. Someone who also had someone close to them (likely a family member) that was also arrested for being involved with the Brotherhood by the strike team. Both Ricky and your muse are dealing with the shock of this together.

FAN? SOMEONE WHO FOLLOWS RACING? Someone who watched Ricky’s rise and fall from grace by being invested in F1. It would make sense if they were a big fan of Ricky’s grandfather...and Ricky is the disappointment. Idk someone with predisposed opinions on Ricky.

PARTNER IN CRIME. The two of them just vibe like immediately they both have the same chaotic energy and encourage each other’s recklessness to take chances and do stupid shit, are probably hilarious and can’t take anything seriously when they’re in the same room together, the kind of friends that other people can’t stand to see them together.

WHOLESOME FWB. They get along really well as friends and mainly just need to scratch an itch sometimes. None of that toxic shit, they probably lay around and talk about their crushes and are actually friends.

CONFIDANT. Late night rooftop conversations, this person can get Ricky to open up, is probably someone who is really chatty and comfortable with their own emotions and they encourage Ricky to be open about his.

INFATUATION. Ricky doesn’t know your muse at all, just sees them in the hallway and thinks they’re super hot, probably an older and unattainable student that wouldn’t give him a second glance but he’s like...this is my future spouse. They just don’t know I exist. Has never talked to them and they might not even vibe if they ever spoke lol.

ENEMIES? They simply don’t! Get along? Hate at first sight? They see Ricky smoking a blunt on campus and think he’s stupid irresponsible? He doesn’t remember their name when he should have? He makes a stupid immature comment that rubs your muse the wrong way? Any of the above, ready to fight at any moment.

RACING BUDDIES. Another driver’s ed student who is willing to race with him after hours or practice together, they both wanna fuck the cars, they both are super competitive and bring that out in each other.

OLD FAMILY FRIENDS. Their parents knew one another, likely on his dad’s (Blackthorne/spy) side, and they grew up closely. After the kidnapping happened, your character’s parent stopped speaking to the Alonsos and distanced themselves. Your character is probably the only one who knows about that part of Ricky’s past in any detail.

GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT. Ricky tried to flirt with your character but actually wound up pissing them off by seeming like an entitled white boy, which he is. He’s trying to prove to your character that he’s not so bad! This connection has nothing to do with feet I just had no better ideas for a name I hate feet.

REALLY BAD SEX. your muse has ricky saved in their phone like [link]...prob a hookup that happens on one of the first days after he heard about his dad but...he’s fucked up and sad and he can’t get it up! It’s literally so embarrassing, maybe they’re both embarrassed, he wants to die when he sees ur muse around bc they saw his limp ass sad boy dick.

CAT AND MOUSE TYPE THING. essentially ricky has a bunch of attempts to flirt with your muse & your muse fucking hates it. Tom and jerry but like, if tom wanted to fuck jerry. I think of this gifset.

#gallagher:intro

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dottie-wan-kenobi · 5 years

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Percy’s authority issues

Percy’s authority issues are caused by (at least) two things: his relationships with his teachers and mortal peers and his relationships with his parents. He’s very sensitive to how people treat him, and who does and does not deserve his respect, which informs his relationships with like...everyone.

Percy has almost no connections to anyone at his schools, except negative connections. Excluding Chiron and Paul, he has no teachers he likes or who like him. Teachers expect him to be a troublemaker and treat him like one, making authority = mistreatment and (unfair) judgement in his mind. Excluding Grover, Tyson, and Rachel, he has no friends at school, and is usually ignored or mistreated by his peers. Bullies often attempt to control the actions or thoughts of those they bully, meaning being controlled = mistreatment and judgement. (This also applies to the gods, who attempt to control him, and who often don’t like him. It’s also safe to say they are unfair to him and other demigods.)

As for his parents, obviously he won’t want to do anything Gabe says, both because of the abuse and because Gabe isn’t Percy’s “real” dad, and therefore has no right to boss him around. He’s much more willing to obey Sally, because she is his “real” parent and has the right as far as he’s concerned. As for Poseidon and Paul, they don’t often tell him what to do, but he’s probably more willing to listen to Paul, because Paul is actually there for him consistently and doesn’t treat him badly like Gabe did. Amphitrite is a non-issue as he rarely if ever interacts with her.

But to kind of follow the formula above:

Gabe mistreats him = Gabe is a controlling and false “authority” = Percy has authority issues

Sally treats him well = Sally is a real authority but isn’t controlling = Percy doesn’t have authority issues

Poseidon treats him okay = Poseidon is a real and largely non-controlling authority but disobeying him has serious consequences = Percy has some authority issues

Paul treats him well = Paul is a false “authority” but isn’t controlling = Percy doesn’t have (many) authority issues

Amphitrite doesn’t treat him well but doesn’t mistreat him = Amphitrite is a false and non-controlling “authority” but disobeying her could have serious consequences = Percy has authority issues

Chiron is most like Paul and Sally, maybe somewhere in between. Gods like Zeus and Ares are down there by Gabe, while gods like Hestia are in a similar position to Chiron. As for his friends, Annabeth and Grover are obviously much higher than, like, Clarisse. But tbh I’m not sure where Reyna would go 🤔

#percy jackson #percy jackson meta #pjo #pjo meta #meta #idk if this has been done before dskjfhsdjafh #im v interested in what other ppl think abt this #i also think like obviously....he's got some o.d.d. and the sea doesn't like to be restrained etc etc #but i had this on that heroes of olympus meta thing im doing #and i wanted to post it separately bc i kinda like how i worded it #except now im looking back it and it's so rambly dskjfhsdkjafh #sorry.

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