a-very-tired-bitch

[a-very-tired-bitch]

give me two characters that are repressed in the same but opposite way and they will have my brain in a chokehold

[a-very-tired-bitch]

Why Jake Marshall might be my favourite witness in Ace Attorney

Inspired by this post, give it some love y’all.

I am a whore for Ace Attorney (specifically Klavier Gavin, sir I am looking respectfully). This is news to nobody who knows me because since I’ve started replaying it I have not shut up about Miles Edgeworth. The game is excellent, especially in terms of their characters, which also isn’t news to anyone but I want to particularly talk about Jake Marshall.

Obviously, SPOILERS for mainly ‘Rise from the Ashes’ from AA1, but I will mention things from previous cases so warning for that. Also, DISCLAIMER: these are just my opinions and my interpretations of this character and the case he appears in.

First and foremost, SL-9 is a tragedy. Seven lives were irreparably damaged due to one man’s greed and hunger for power. The whole case had such potential to be a victory and instead became a bitter defeat for almost everyone involved. So, let’s look at the characters who were a part of this:

Angel Starr - She was an excellent detective and interrogator to the point where she was known as the ‘Cough-Up Queen’ (iconic) and evidently was passionate about her work, judging by her intense hatred for the prosecutors who got her laid off.

Bruce Goodman - Most of the information we get about Detective Goodman is related to his murder which says a lot, in and of itself, but I think it takes a certain kind of pure-hearted naivety to ask the man who closed up the very case you have suspicions about to open it up again.

Miles Edgeworth - SL-9 was his first big case and he took the evidence he was given trustingly and produced a verdict in court that he was almost certainly exceedingly proud of, only for it to be the source of the rumours that plagued him for the next two years (and what followed - Mr Edgeworth I am so sorry).

Ema Skye - Despite having locked away a lot of her memories of the case, the event was extremely traumatic for her without even considering her age at the time and the aftermath of it resulted in a rift between her and her sister, her only family, even causing her to alter the course of the rest of her life by dedicating herself to forensic study (an absolute queen).

Neil Marshall - The man had been a promising prosecutor, his talent probably only comparable to Edgeworth, the youngest ever to receive the ‘King of Prosecutors’ award (I think) and, in his earnest and successful effort to save Ema Skye from the serial killer, Joe Darke, he is murdered (nooo don’t die ur so sexy aha) by Damon Gant to further his career and influence.

Lana Skye - A genius detective, Lana was well on the way to becoming one of the best prosecutors in history as well as a well-liked and well-respected figure among the police and lawyers alike, only to be manipulated into obeying the whims of Gant for two years due to her love for her sister.

Jake Marshall - Two years ago, Marshall had a promising detective career who had an extremely close relationship with his brother and he lost both of these violently, didn’t get closure for two years and became cold and obsessive over the case as a result.

This case follows the classic (and also favourite) premise of mine where a cast of grizzled, worn down characters are brought together by one of them, usually by the most driven or focused, to re-explore their shared past to uncover the truth. In this story, we still have the common tropes (the good man murdered to set the events in motion, the flirt with bitter anger, the easy-going hiding their darkness, the figure of authority succumbed to evil and the treasured character whose death still haunts them all) written with the familiar, winding narrative of Ace Attorney where characters of varying depth all lead to the character at the crux of the story, usually hiding behind a front.

So, you might be thinking, that character, that’s Lana Skye, right?

Wrong.

It’s Jake Marshall.

Don’t get me wrong, Lana is at the centre of this case. It’s well-established from get-go and, as we, the player, find out more and more about SL-9 it keeps coming back to Lana Skye. So why does the narrative hinge on Jake Marshall?

Mainly because, if it weren’t for Jake Marshall, the case wouldn’t have happened to begin with. He needed closure for the death of his brother that he knew was tied up with some sort of foul play but he never got the chance to prove it, having been cast aside as soon as the trial of Darke was done. Much like Lana, he changed after that case, became colder and more obsessive behind his easy-going façade, focused solely on SL-9. For two years, along with Angel, he tried to get the case opened up again, becoming increasingly desperate as it came closer and closer to transferral, and finally begged Goodman to help him. This set off the chain of events that became ‘Rise from the Ashes’.

Jake is an extremely guarded character, using his cowboy persona almost as a shield, and this is evident in the first few parts of the case where we can barely get any information out of him until we call him to the witness stand and slowly unravel his story. And with that, he unravels too.

The day after the trial, we see almost a completely different man - he’s resigned to his fate, all the desperation and adrenaline he’s held onto has slipped away, leaving behind an incredibly sad person. His kindliness shines through a bit more which was introduced in the way he speaks to Ema, but now he offers it to Phoenix as well in both appreciation and respect for what he’s undertaking. Jake gives him his story and quietly leaves to turn himself in because he doesn’t see the point in fighting anymore - the straws he was grasping at have fallen out of reach and now he sees someone else probably with the same purity and fire that his team had had during SL-9 that he can pass the mantle to.

I think that this is where the true tragedy of the case lies: once Phoenix discovers the truth and frees the people who worked on SL-9 from their chains, they change. Lana smiles for the first time, Angel’s snappy banter softens into friendly teasing,  Jake, although only for that one moment, opens up a little, and Miles Edgeworth has a midlife crisis (understandable but you did NOT have to do that to Phoenix). And once we see this, we see how badly this case affected all of them. We see what people they used to be before they were broken down  by SL-9, the friendships they had (Jake and Angel feel like the epitome of bisexual solidarity, sue me), and in particular, at least for me, Jake’s grief at the loss of his brother. Because, for all the focus on injustice and the truth, an innocent man died and no one really got the chance to grieve in their determination for retribution. It’s only in the moments before Jake turns himself in that we see him even speak about his brother in a way that isn’t related to the truth that they’re all searching for. And that’s just so sad.

But, yeah! This one’s a bit of a doozy but I suddenly had a lot of feelings about this one cowboy and I needed to yell about it.

[a-very-tired-bitch]

"he's like a brother to me" my brother in christ you are gay

[a-very-tired-bitch]

rudyard and antigone funn really are out here cementing my love for horrible little british men and passionate yet morbid women

[a-very-tired-bitch]

Our Dreams at Dusk might be one of the best portrayals of the queer experience I've ever read

WARNING: I will be using words like ‘queer’ and ‘gay’ to describe both real-life people and characters and I know that some people may have experienced them in negative context and may not like them/may feel uncomfortable with them so I just wanted to put this out there and to mention that I am in no way using these words negatively.

Being a gay, you could probably guess that I read a lot of fanfiction because we're all deprived of good representation. You could also guess that if there's a piece of media with at least one (1) queer character, I will consume it without a second thought. So, I've seen a lot queer fiction all over the place but there's something about 'Our Dreams at Dusk' that truly sent me to another dimension.

I'll try to explain why it's so good without spoilers so y'all can experience it by yourselves.

'Our Dreams at Dusk' is a manga with beautiful art and dialogue that encloses a wide array of queer experiences: those who've lived with their identities for a long time, those who are out and proud, those who are figuring out who they are, and those who have grown up with prejudices they are only just starting to ignore. And not only does it portray so many different identities, it tells all the struggles and triumphs connected to each one really well, not only the ones caused by the outside world, but the personal ones as well.

The characters are really well written, living fully outside of their genders and sexualities with flaws and habits and personalities that make them feel really tangible. They're all people who you're familiar with, whether you know them or not, and all have incredibly compelling stories. I saw myself in a few of them, and I'm sure y'all will too.

The story's very much in a 'slice of life' kind of genre. Set in a small village in Japan, it has a soft, sleepy atmosphere that lends itself really well to the story as it really showcases the people who live their and their narratives. It adds to the pseudo-fantasy feel to the manga, capitalising on the safe-haven idea at its core that is what I feel really resonates with its reader.

And, how could I forget, the art is amazing. It is so beautiful and detailed, with art prints of the main characters that really capture their emotions and stories and incredible backgrounds and gorgeous people. Even if you're not going to read it, y'all should definitely check out the art.

So, yeah! Check it out!

[a-very-tired-bitch]

give me enemies to lovers but one-sided where one of them hates the other one for nothing but petty reasons and the other one just looks at them with fond exasperation

[a-very-tired-bitch]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jayce/Viktor (League of Legends) Characters: Jayce (League of Legends), Viktor (League of Legends) Additional Tags: Fluff and Smut, Viktor Needs a Hug (League of Legends), also mild praise kink, Emotional Sex, because apparently i can't write non-emotional sex, also i wanted them to be sappy as hell, viktor calls jayce darling and jayce calls him vitya, also viktor is a MENACE and you can't convince me otherwise, this is MY fanfiction where they're HAPPY and IN LOVE, no beta we die like mylo Summary:

Jayce leaned forwards until their foreheads bumped together, watching the gold flecks in Viktor’s eyes sparkle beneath his lashes. Their breaths seeped into the small space between them.

“We’ll find a way, Vitya,” he whispered. “I know today didn’t go the way we wanted, but we will do it, we’ll get our tech out there and we’ll change the world.”

“I know we will.” Viktor kissed him softly. “We have our dream, do we not?”

Jayce smiled and combed a hand through Viktor’s hair, pushing it back from his face. “I suppose we’ll just have to-”

“Don’t-”

“-crank it.”

“Awful.”

He grinned. “You know you love me.”

Viktor sighed and kissed him again. “That I do.”

(a.k.a, I want them to be happy and together so I decided Jayce was going to take care of Viktor because we all deserve it.)

[a-very-tired-bitch]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends) Characters: Vi (League of Legends), Caitlyn (League of Legends) Additional Tags: Fluff, Getting Together, takes place when they hang out in cait's bedroom, i just wanted them to be teenagers for a moment before it all went down, in my defense they're really cute your honour, and they're solid mirrors of each other, no beta we die like mylo Summary:

On an impulse, she reached out and grabbed Vi’s hand, flushing at the sound of surprise the gesture caused. Caitlyn bowed her head over it so that her blush would go unseen, tracing over the scars and the lines of her palm. She stroked her fingers over Vi’s knuckles, feeling the ridges where skin had split, healed, split again, and the quiet part of her wished that she could kiss them.

“How are your hands so pretty when you’re supposed to be an enforcer?” Vi murmured, lacing their fingers together.

Pretty? “Pretty?”

Vi laughed softly. “Don’t say it like you’re surprised. Still, they’re nothing compared to the rest of you.”

Caitlyn choked on her spit and very intelligently said, “What.”

Smirking, Vi yanked her forwards by their linked hands and tilted her face up, eyes half-lidded and lips so incredibly close.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said you were hot, cupcake.”

(Alternatively, I like their dynamic a lot and enjoy being inside composed characters' heads.)

[a-very-tired-bitch]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jinx & Vi (League of Legends), Jinx (League of Legends) & Silco (Arcane: League of Legends) Characters: Jinx (League of Legends) Additional Tags: mentioned Vi and Silco, also Mylo, but it's mainly jinx in her own head, bc she's a cool character and also traumatised, i do enjoy my jinx povs, Angst, mentioned character deaths, she needs a hug y'all, no beta we die like mylo Summary:

She’d had the same pink hair and the eyes-

Her breath froze in her throat. “It wasn’t her! Just some… wannabe street trash.”

Of course not… we know what you do to street trash like us, don’t we, Claggor?

“Shut up! You’re not real!” she screamed. “You’re dead, you’re gone!” Mylo’s metal eyes stared her down, dull and vacant and malicious, and the mobile jangled above her head. She curled up into a ball, and picked up the next grenade, pulling the pin out with her teeth.

She’s gone. Because you failed her. Because you were weak.

“I’m not weak!” she yelled, flopping onto her back as the explosion rattled the metal around her. Smoke billowed up through the air.

You’re a jinx!

“I’m not! I’m not I’m not I’m not! You’ll see,” she snarled, “you’ll all see!”

(Basically, Jinx has a lot of trauma and I wanted to explore that.)

[a-very-tired-bitch]

bitches just want viktor to be happy. it's me. i'm bitches.

[a-very-tired-bitch]

maybe one day i'll write a cishet character but today is not that day

[a-very-tired-bitch]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Wolf 359 (Radio) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Daniel Jacobi & Warren Kepler Characters: Daniel Jacobi, Warren Kepler, brief mention of Alana Maxwell Additional Tags: Canonical Character Death, this might just be 2k words of jacobi throwing trauma at ghost kepler, i made kepler a ghost so i could talk about how he fucked up one daniel jacobi, slight one-sided Daniel Jacobi/Warren Kepler, digging a grave for closure, yes i am calling out warren kepler, yes he is my favourite character, no beta we die like the plant monster Summary:

“I’m sorry that you cared so much,” he said evenly.

“You were dead to me from the moment you got Alana killed,” Daniel replied quickly.

“Mr Jacobi, I think we both know that that’s not quite true.”

(Also, Daniel Jacobi needed closure so I'm giving it to him via ghost Kepler.)

[a-very-tired-bitch]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Secret History - Donna Tartt Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Francis Abernathy/Richard Papen Characters: Francis Abernathy, Richard Papen Additional Tags: Moving In Together, Intimacy, Post-Canon, Pining, richard's only just working out that he's in love with francis, because he's really fucking stupid, someone give francis an award for his patience, just two soft boys trying to take care of themselves and each other, no beta we die like bunny Summary:

“Francis?”

And there he was. Red hair dark and plastered to his forehead, white shirt sticking to his skin and the same black coat hanging heavy from his shoulders.

“Hi. Richard.”

“W-what are you doing here?”

“The wedding’s off.”

“Off? How come?”

“I believe your exact words were ‘Don’t do this, Francis.’?” He cocked his head to the side, and the dim hallway light danced off the rain coursing down his face.

(a.k.a. Francis shows up at Richard's house out of the blue and things get as gay as they should have in the book.)

[a-very-tired-bitch]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hades (Video Game 2018) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game) Characters: Thanatos (Hades Video Game), Zagreus (Hades Video Game) Additional Tags: Fluff and Smut, Praise Kink, Kinda?, thanatos just wants to make sure that zag knows he's loved, because that boy needs it, it's very fluffy but they do fuck, no beta we die like zagreus Summary:

"Thank you," he murmurs, and Than can feel the warm puff of air across his lips. "Thank you for taking care of me. I'd be drowned in the Styx if it weren't for you."

Thanatos pulls away slightly and trails his fingers down Zagreus's face until they're tucked under his chin, tilting it forwards. "You're always taking care of me, Zag. Always so sweet, so kind, so good." Zag's breath hitches and he hears it, knowing the effect his words have on him. "So, Zag, would you let me take care of you now?" He feels the gold blush high across his cheekbones, keeps his eyes focused on Zagreus's lips in front of him, watches them move as Zagreus replies:

"Please."

(Or Thanatos takes care of Zagreus and I end up occasionally switching to Zag's perspective so I can write a love letter to Thanatos.)

[a-very-tired-bitch]

Y’all didn’t need me to say this but Arcane’s kinda amazing

The art, the storyline, the characters, the design, the soundtrack, the score, voice acting, the tiny little details. You want it? Arcane’s got it.

Now, I’m the kind of person who needs to fall deeply invested in the characters to even consider caring about the show. Arcane heard me and smacked me upside the head with an incredible cast of characters. We have a wide array of archetypes: the tortured scientist (Viktor, also my beloved), the young politician (Mel), the young prodigy with greatness thrust upon him (Jayce), the hardened bruiser looking for her past (Vi), the sheltered dreamer (Caitlyn), the haunted father figure (Vander), the broken child (Jinx), just to name a few. These characters play into their assumed narratives while also existing outside of them with nuances and traits that don’t put too violent a twist on their trope. It’s really good example of balanced and detailed character writing.

I can’t even fully talk about the brilliant work of the artists and animators behind this show who worked on each character’s individual movements and the shapes that make up their silhouettes let alone the beautiful landscapes and backgrounds that are distinct and easily recognisable and really really cool. The way they draw faces? Spectacular. That shot of Vi leaping across the mural? One of the best things I’ve ever seen.

I dream to be able to twist together storylines the way Arcane did. The cutting of shots and the narrative connections between characters was so beautifully done. The show even made me kind of care about lore and worldbuilding! Brandon Sanderson was barely able to make me even think about it!

[a-very-tired-bitch]

My new favourite movie: Handsome Devil

WARNING: I will be using words such as ‘queer’ and ‘gay’ to describe both real-life people and characters. This isn’t a warning for LGBT+ people existing (because, guess what, they do), this is just letting you know that I’ll be using these words and I know that some people may have experienced them in negative context and may not like them/may feel uncomfortable with them so I just wanted to put this out there and that I am in no way using these words negatively. Anyways:

I am utter trash for good queer stories in the media because, like most people who are like me, I’m constantly looking for some form of representation. So, when my friend insistently told me that ‘Handsome Devil’ was a really good film with gay characters, I was all in (even if it was a bunch of cis, white guys again). And, as you know, I loved it. Not only was the soundtrack amazing, the actors did a brilliant job (*ahem* Andrew Scott, my beloved), I completely lost my shit and I want to talk about it.

DISCLAIMER: These are just my interpretations and I’m not criticising any opinions that are different to mine. Just explaining why I disagree or why I saw the thing differently. Also SPOILERS.

1. Conor’s handshake with Pascal.

I saw this only like twice, but the two interpretations of this moment that I saw talked about Conor forgiving Pascal with this action when that clearly wasn’t what the movie was going for.

So, up till this point, Pascal has been a homophobic character, outwardly antagonistic towards Dan Sherry who is suspects is gay, even completely rejecting Conor, despite his previous adoration of him due to his rugby talent, because he is gay. And this type of authority figure is something that has failed Conor before, most painfully in his dad.

So why would he hold out his hand in forgiveness? Inspired by Ned, he played the second half of that rugby match for himself - not for the Wood Hill College rugby team, but for his own team made up of him and Ned. And this handshake represents the growth it took for him to do that (even if he was thrown in the deep end by Ned smh), that he’s stepping up to be the bigger person and that he recognises the work that went into this win, even if Pascal turned on him in the end but that it doesn’t mean forgiveness.

And that’s a really fucking badass moment.

2. The flawed mentor figure.

This was probably one of my favourite parts of the movie. Because this is something that we don’t see often at all in queer storylines. Whenever we see a movie or show with young queer characters getting help or advice from older ones, the mentor figure is usually portrayed as idealistically as possible: their advice is flawless, their life is put together, they’re out and proud etc. And Handsome Devil upturned that.

Dan Sherry is placed literally in the role of a mentor being Ned and Conor’s English teacher, but he’s not perfect. He’s in a place in his life where he’s come to terms with his sexuality, but he’s not in a place where he’s as confident as you’d expect for a character in the role that he’s in. And his advice is representative of that: on the rugby field, he doesn’t tell Conor to go out there and own the day, he tells him to keep it to himself for the moment, to keep hiding it just for a little while, that it gets better, that one day he won’t have to hide anything. And Conor immediately calls him out, asking why ‘never use a borrowed voice’ doesn’t apply to him. Dan obviously knows that the answer is ‘because this is different’ but he can’t bring himself to tell Conor that because sexuality shouldn’t be exempt from his advice and the fact that it is hurts them both.

And so, because of his characterisation in this movie, portrayed beautifully by Andrew Scott, we see him grow. It’s not just some proud smile as he watches Ned and Conor develop as people, it’s actual character growth because he sees their bravery and brings his own sexuality to light when he invites Arthur to the rugby match. You can see his nerves and his hesitations in the same way that you see Conor and Ned’s nerves and hesitations which creates such good depth in this movie.

3. They didn’t kiss.

I know some people didn’t like this. And I understand why - it’s a deviation from the standard formula, so it feels a bit like we were cheated out of a romance. But, I honestly feel like the ending we got was the best ending for the movie.

(Before we go on, I do want to quickly clarify that there’s no way their relationship is wholly platonic because Conor has this smile that is only directed at Ned when Ned’s not looking and there’s nothing heterosexual about Ned saying ‘all I can hear in my head is your voice and it makes me want to follow you’, so they’ll probably get together over the course of the rest of their time at school.)

Firstly, I think them getting together by the end of the movie would have been a bit rushed, especially since most of the shit that went down happened in the week before the rugby finals and they really didn’t talk to each other at all for that whole week so there are definitely some conversations that need to happen before anything romantic happens. They need to forgive both themselves and each other (yes, it could be argued that Ned outing Conor is worse than Conor shoving Ned to the ground but that doesn’t cancel it out).

Secondly, the movie ending was perfect. It’s a moment of euphoria for the both of them - Conor saves the match and Ned saves his friend. They have their moment of quiet happiness in a very-not-bro-hug an the team immediately jumps on them to celebrate. It’s a satisfying high-note to end on which is so wholesome and so well rounded-off but it leaves enough room for fan works and imagination which really is the best sort of ending you could get.

Everyone go watch Handsome Devil.

[a-very-tired-bitch]

I want to talk about the ‘Limetown’ ending

I get that I’m a couple of years late for this, but I just finished listening to the whole thing at 4:12 this morning haha. I actually really liked the ending! And apparently many people did not! So I’m going to talk about why I liked it!

DISCLAIMER: this is obviously not the general consensus about the matter and I’m not invalidating or criticising it because my opinion is totally different. And SPOILERS... duh.

Firstly, I wanted to talk about the change in structure to season 2 - I know a lot of people preferred the the radio show format of season 1 and, honestly, I also really liked it. But, apart from the fact that our beloved radio host got kidnapped at the end of season 1, the change makes sense from a storytelling perspective. The first half of the show was a question of ‘what’ and ‘how’:

What was Limetown?

What happened to all the people who lived there?

How did it happen?

Once all of these had gotten answered, the question was now ‘why’. Why did it happen? And the answer to this question is Emile Haddock. Of course, as the answer is a person, the way to achieve it is going to be a very personal journey, so the recordings (although unexplained in canon) do showcase that journey very effectively.

This does move on to my next point quite nicely: there are quite a few loose ends at the end of the story, and that’s not a bad thing. The big one, of course, is that we have no clue what happened to Lia Haddock. It can be inferred from the ending that “Charlie” (it could also be “Charley” - Wikipedia uses both) found her after Daniel gave her Lia’s location and handed her over the company that Lenore worked for, that they are the ones who asked about her dreams in the final minutes of the season 2 finale. Their questions about her dreams could possibly mean that she’s been given the contact, but I honestly haven’t given that part enough thought to come to any conclusions. Please give me some of your theories though!

Anyway, the second loose end is “Charlie”. Up until the end of the episode we think we’re learning more and more about her as Emile gets her to talk more about her family, but that’s all revealed to be a fabrication. In the end, the only concrete information we have about her is the fact that she worked for the same company that Lenore and Daniel did. Everything that we’ve built emotionally with “Charlie” throughout the second season is completely null. We’re left only with a façade.

The final loose end is, of course, the contacts. The tech that was the fruits of Limetown’s horrific labour, that Emile destroyed hundreds of lives for. We don’t know what’s happening with it, other than the fact that it’s going to be released to the public... soon? What happens next is anyone’s guess. It’s a wave building up and up and up on the shoreline and it’ll never crash.

These three things are the cause of much frustration for many listeners because they are left wondering. But I think that that might actually be the point. See, the centre of this whole thing has always been Emile Haddock and season 2 of ‘Limetown’ tells his story. He’s the eye of the storm, the man that they were all there for. It’s essentially a third-person perspective of Emile and it’s certainly not omniscient, so, as he grieves the loss of Lia in that movie theatre, wondering about “Charlie”, about Lia, unsure and confused, we the listener are there with him. He doesn’t care about the tech anymore, he cares about Lia - just like the listeners. He’s in shock, lost in a state of unknowing that he’s never had to face before. And the writers of the show passed that onto us beautifully - we’re learning the truth as he does.

Also, just before I finish, did “Charlie’s” voice sound like Lia’s to any of you at 38:04 for a brief moment? Because it sure did to me.