#obviously i am having such a horrible day
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Cia's Wonderful Day Out, part 3
Part 1, Part 2 (Also, if you liked this, you can check out Convenience Store Vampire, featuring some familiar faces!)
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It was hard to decipher the emotions of an insectoid Fae, but there was a glimmer of fascination in their multifaceted eyes. “A bank robbery, you say? What happened?”
Ciaran shook his head. “Damned if I know. Cops pulled me over, showed me a video of my evil twin pulling a flame-wand on some poor bank teller, and claimed it was me. Twelve hours I spent telling them that I wasn't a fucking bank robber, Anise. Twelve. Accursed. Hours.”
“An evil twin? That sounds like the work of a shifter,” Dave said, pulling up a chair. He was the quintessential vampire, something Ciaran always envied. Black hair slicked back, his Smiley-Mart uniform covered up by a long trench coat, red eyes rimmed with slight eye bags. Balancing right between tradition and modernity. “Hey, Cia.”
Ciaran did not bother correcting him this time. “Hey Dave,” he muttered. “You think it was Hash who decided to pull that crap?”
“Not Hash, but perhaps someone she knows? The shifter community is tiny, or so I've heard. Haven't even met another one of her kind,” he replied. “Besides, Hash isn't that mean.”
Ciaran narrowed his eyes. “Yes, she is. You go ask her if she knows anyone who went on a thieving spree recently, shall you? I'm not in a mood to talk to that crazy man right now.”
“What am I, your pageboy?” Nonetheless, Dave got up and walked away. Benefits of being an elder vampire, Ciaran supposed. All the littles listened to him.
He looked glumly into his glass, listening with one ear to the conversation that ensued.
“Say, have any of your kindred run around robbing banks recently? Asking for a friend.” That was Dave, ever the eloquent spy.
“Mah what-now?” Hash, her words more slurred than usual.
“Your kind. You know, shifters?”
“Yeah. What about them?” Her accent dropped suddenly. Ciaran had always suspected that she was faking it.
“Did any of them rob a bank? Maybe wearing Ciaran's face?”
Hash choked on her drink and spun around. “Are you accusing me of impersonating you, Ciaran Kerall?” It was the first show of anger he'd ever seen in her, and through the shock of the accusation, Ciaran found it in himself to take some joy in being the source of her upset.
Perhaps this day wasn't wasted, after all.
She stormed over, slowly growing taller as she did so. By the time she was at his side, the tiny little elf had been replaced by a lean, menacing man. “Care to say it to my face, instead of sending little Davie to do your job?”
“I’ve got many things to accuse you of, Hash, most of them true. Impersonation isn't one of them. I sent Dave to ask you a question. Or are you too stupid to understand that?” He punctuated his words with a sharp tap on her skull.
She slapped his hands away. “Go fuck yourself, Ciaran. Are you trying to pick a fight? Because if a fight's what you want, I assure you that you're going to regret it.”
“A fight's not what anyone wants.” Unknown to either of them, Anise had crossed the bar and was suddenly inserting themself between the would-be fighters. “I don't serve children in this house, so act like adults, will you? Let's try this from the top. Ciaran, what did you want to ask?”
Ciaran gave them a dirty look. “I got pulled in by the exorcists this morning. They claimed someone identical to me robbed a bank, and their proof was that I was on the cameras doing… Well, whatever it is bank robbers do.”
“But that evidence is obviously invalid, ‘cos vamps like you don't show up on cams or mirrors,” Hash interjected like the irritating little interloper she was.
“Yes, if you'd just let me get to that part,” he snapped back. “As I was saying, this led me-”
“That was me, actually,” Dave said, interjecting again. He was picking up all these bad habits from that horrible little shifter, Ciaran thought. “I said that it might be a shape shifter, and we ought to ask you. I swear, nobody meant any harm.”
Hash looked to him, and immediately softened. “I'm sorry,” she said. “That was uncharitable of me, ah guess. My bad.”
“Please don't slip into that accent again,” Ciaran responded.
Once again, she ignored him. “No’ that we've resolved this little squabble, ah guess I oughta break the news to ya. Couldn't ‘ave been a shifter, cos there ain't any in this city. Apart from me, that is.”
“What?”
Tagging: @coffeeangelinabox, @dorky-pals, @calliecwrites, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @shukei-jiwa
@thewingedbaron, @pluppsauthor, @cowboybrunch, @wylloblr,
@possiblyeldritch @tragedycoded, @finickyfelix, @urnumber1star, @ratedn,
@ramwritblr @vampirelover890, @possiblylisle, @illarian-rambling, @the-ellia-west,
@differentnighttale @evilgabe29, @glitched-dawn, @rivenantiqnerd, @dragonhoardesfandoms,
@abiteofhoney @drchenquill, @everythingismadeofchaos, @dimitrakies, @beloveddawn-blog
@riveriafalll, @the-golden-comet, @rascaronii, @trippingpossum, @real-fragments
@unrepentantcheeseaddict, @the-inkwell-variable, @paeliae-occasionally, @an-indecisive-nerd, @thecomfywriter
@seastarblue, @wyked-ao3, @bookwormclover, @oliolioxenfreewrites, @aalinaaaaaa
@the-letterbox-archives, @gioiaalbanoart (Anyone else who wants to get added can tell me in the comments, pm me, or send me an ask about it!)
#Nothing funnier than Hash carting around a fake accent until you piss her off#It's a very obviously fake one too. And it's not like she isn't a master of disguise; woman defo knows how to mimic a proper Pal accent#She's just doing it for shits and giggles. And I love her for it#writing#writeblr#my writing#writerscommunity#creative writing#writing community#spilled ink#fantasy#short story
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->
Taking it upon myself to actually research into the columbine case has taught me that I really see myself in Dylan. Alas, many people do, but something about him tells me his sadness is my sadness. Something so endearing about the way he felt and how he visualized what he felt that is so strange. It constantly feels like I am the only one who feels this specific type of sad and alone, though I understand it feels like that about many things.
Seeing myself in someone like Dylan Is quite scary, I'd say? I would never go through with things he did, but I can't say the case doesn't have an influence. In total time, I have probably spent more than 7 hours in the last couple days crying and wanting nothing more than to be gone; to have an escape. I don't agree with Dylan and Eric's actions. Of Course, I can find a way to understand but I can admire their suicidal tendencies. I can admire the confidence to have actually taken their own lives.
Of Course though, it was a mix of not wanting to deal with their consequences as well as finding it as the perfect moment, yeah? They had already ruined their lives, he felt as though as Life wasn't worth living. I just want to know if it was fulfilling to him? To Eric? I want to know whether or not it had happened all exactly as they wanted.
It's ashame nobody will know now.
I don't think I could have prepared myself for the recent emptiness I've felt, not so much of a want to have been in Dylan's presence but just so desperate to escape. Maybe it is insensitive but can you blame me for wishing it was me?
Me who they shot? I wouldn't have to do it myself, that's more than enough. And alas, we'd both be dead together after all. A feeling of peace. A chance to genuinely solely understand their thought process.
As someone who is still fairly tame about true crime yet have an insane boundary problem about every case I get infatuated with, I get worried my words will just be seen as surface level fangirling to any of the cases I cling to. And of course this is cringe as well, but I always feel like I have a special sort of understanding towards these people? Not like a, 'i can fix him' way but in a, if I were them, I would illute to the same things.
Obviously their actions are horrible (that goes without saying) but I kind of wish the average person took time to understand that everyone is troubled. I don't believe 'good' people exist in the world. Yes, you can do good acts and you can make good impact, but there are no good people. Perfection isn't possible and I truly feel that the only way to be a good person would be to be perfect.
Everyone is evil. Everyone has faults and hopefully it eats at everyone. I feel like everyone on this planet should feel a sense of hopelessness to an extent; you don't know what it's like to be dead. You don't know if your actions here have genuine consequences when you're dead and gone. You don't know anything, neither do I. Neither did Eric and Dylan, neither did anyone who did similar acts. Nobody here knows anything. Nobody knows anything about anything and I wish we as a whole could accept that.
It bleeds into religion for me. I have never had faith or anything despite being brought up Christian. It was one of those things that have always just been fantasy to me. The concept of the Bible is so warped, inconsistent, unrealistic. It doesn't seem justifiable under any circumstance to me, good for anyone who can see it in the light but I don't think I could ever think that. There is something so false about any concept of any god or afterlife.
It's frustrating though because I know I don't truly think that. I think there is some sort of after life, whether it's reincarnation or infinite nothingness for those who died. I just don't think my - or anyones - actions right now have any impact when it's all said and done.
#tcc fandom#tcc dylan#columbine 1999#tcc columbine#eric and dylan#dylan columbine#dylan 1999#eric 1999#tcc eric
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MY ASSESSMENT OF EP 1 OF MEGAMIND RULES! - MEGAMIND VS DUDE MONKEY
I'm going to be going through each episode of MEGAMIND RULES! to review them! Basically state my opinions and talk about how much I love Megamind and the things he does and stuff
Starting with episode 1, obviously.
S1 E1: Megamind vs Dude Monkey
I love the Megamind DreamWorks intro. I'm so happy we have one that was made specifically for him, at long last. It's perfect, too -- Megamind is the man (kid) on the moon, fishing for Chum. Brilliant! And the fact Megamind gets pulled down pahahaa
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The theme is incredible, everyone knows it. I particularly love when Megamind throws the bags of money, we do a little spin around him, and then he kisses us. If I'd never seen him before, this would be the moment that I succumbed to his handsome-ry.
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"You've met your match, Evildoer! For I, Megamind, am the hero of Metrocity! And you will feel my… steely justice with the force of a… an angrly llama!" -- Megamind working on his new act. He's used to spouting villainy, this is hard! "I think you're improving, sir! That's way better than attacking their mothers personally!"
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"Villains, beware! For I am the White Knight of --" I assume he was going to say 'Metrocity'. I love the Batman references (The Dark Knight of Gotham). I am a huge Batman fan so to have Batman peppered throughout Megamind content is truly delighful.
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Dude Monkey reminds me of Ron from Kim Possible. Except horrible. HAHA the subtitles when Dude Monkey says "shall we stop another crime?" are actually "shall we SCHTOP--" which is exactly how he pronounces it, HAHA! That's hilarious.
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Megamind: What IS that thing?! (I love that he doesn't realize Dude Monkey is a person.)
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Dude Monkey is so annoyingly obnoxious! Megamind: What in Hades' hamper just happened?! (That's such a good exclamation.)
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Roxanne saying "I don't have actual control over the sun" feels like a Mr. Burns reference. Would that make Christina Christo Smithers? You know, I can see it.
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Megamind breaking through the window and innocently Ollo-ing only to get a monitor thrown at his face is pure gold. Roxanne really has a thing for throwing things at people, doesn't she? She did it to Music Man in the original film too HAHA! She calls it "muscle memory", I wonder if she means "back when you were Evil and I had to defend myself". But DID she really even defend herself physically from Megamind back then? Hmm… we really need more content from the old Evil days.
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Megamind likes tacos! Important! He also likes toquitos, chocolate milk, coffee, kombucha, and donuts, as I recall! Perhaps I missed something. If so, I'll find out soon enough (since I'm going to be going through the entire series again with Notice-Things Goggles on).
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Megamind @ Nighty-Knight: "If he pops his Halloween head up again, I have just the treat for his tricks!" These lines are TOO good.
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Megamind using the word "bombastic", PFFT! It fits right in with the others words often tied to him. "Mega", for example, and "Swag" (promotional items). "Uber" was also a popular word in the live-action script. I feel like all these words are a part of the same package. Also -- Bombastic apparently doesn't mean what it SOUNDS like it means. I was thinking "bomb" as in "amazing" and "tastic" as in "fantastic" but it's actually more of a negative term. I have a feeling Megamind didn't realize that either.
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"Why hire a second-rate wanna-be when you can have a first-rate is-a-be?" Oh my God, Brent and Alan, I know they're the ones coming up with these lines, they're hilarious. This episode is super funny, every one of Megamind's lines are pure gold. You can really tell how much effort they put into writing the characters, especially his.
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I love when Megamind nee-nah nee-nah nee-nah's Christina, maahahaha!
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"What about that icèd cream you promised?" It's interesting, in the subtitles it has a little dash over the e (è) to convey the pronounciation. "Primarily used in languages like French, Italian, Catalan, and others to represent a slightly open 'e' sound." Fascinating! I just watched an episode of the Simpsons where Mr. Burns refers to it as icèd cream, as well -- I do think the creators were inspired!
Oh, ice-cream! He likes ice-cream, as well!
Food Megamind Eats (will be copy+pasting this to other posts if he eats other stuff and I need to add to it): Tacos, toquitos, chocolate milk, coffee, kombucha, donuts, ice-cream
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"Time to get my blue bod ripped" pahahaha, I love that he can go from using the dialect of an elderly man from the 1920s to talking like a teenage boy who's been living in a frat house amongst his peers for the past 2 years.
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I love that Megamind thinks Dude Monkey looks up to him and is inspired by him -- seeing the world through rose-colored glasses, I love that about him. (Have I mentioned that I love things Megamind does yet?)
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"What's with this troll business? They've been extinct for decades!" I'm really curious if there are actual trolls in their world (wouldn't be far-fetched, there are aliens and shadow-people), or if Megamind just THINKS trolls existed in their world. If they did exist, I'm imagining it's something he learned when he was still on his home planet (maybe mom was telling him a bed-time story about the long-lost troll and then clarified that they are extinct once he expressed fear. I realize I'm totally making this all up but let's go with it).
Keiko really is a necessary addition to future (technically present) Megamind content, because Megamind himself has been so sheltered and secluded that he would have NO idea what's going on, ever. Her being there to assist him is pretty important!
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Hehe they used an edited version of one of my favorite promotional images of Megamind! "It's big for a reason!"
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"I went viral on Metrocity once! Gave everyone dance fever!" Hahaha I love that, it'd be great to see that. I hope the next theatrical Megamind movie is a prequel and we get to see more of Megamind and Metroman's battles, and get to see Machiavillain training him, and also get to see how Megamind met Roxanne! What a dream that would be! Also, giving everyone dance fever reminds me of Rachett and Clank with the Groovitron (a floating disco ball that, when thrown, plays disco music that mesmerizes anyone near it to dance uncontrollably until it expires)!
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Megamind's little dance when he "wins" the point-battle is great (I giffed that)!
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"Make me virulent on the onternet!" (Virulent: (of a disease or poison) extremely severe or harmful in its effects.) Hehehee
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Chum being entertained by a baby dancing just like a grown-up is pretty funny, given that's what baby Megamind was doing in some old commercials HAHA! Also, there was apparently a dancing baby meme back in 1996 that was/is really popular, I wonder if that's what they're referring to. I bet so!
youtube
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"Villains are red, heroes are blue. Stop robbing that bank, or feel my Kung Fu! Or, you know, I'll think of something later." I love that Megamind can seem egotistical at times, but he's actually quite self-conscious and self-questioning. He puts on the 'I'm the best' act to cover up his insecurities. I also think it was his way of giving himself what nobody else would (except Minion), considering he was looked down upon and was alone for so long!
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"Treading the boards" is a term that originated in the 1700s. The question we've all been asking -- IS Megamind geriatric? Technically, no, but he definitley does have a tendency to use out-dated terms/phrases. Which makes him all the more lovable! (I love Megamind, by the way)
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Megamind Before He's On Camera: Hello, my biggest fans! Megamind here!
Megamind Once He's On Camera: Hello, my biggest fans! Your little fannies will shake as you worship the splendor that is --
So real. You know how it is, when you're just existing, and then suddenly you're existing but on camera? It changes everything you ever knew about how to exist!!!
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De-ep Freeze, De-Sintigrate, De-Gravity, De-Moralize, De-Lock, De-hydrate! Those were some of the features on his De-Gun that I was able to see! (I'll update this as we go, too.)
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Dude Monkey: Say "Megamind's Cheugy!" (That apparently means "something or someone out of date or trying too hard.")
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Megamind being obsessed with views, man I've been there! When you're trying to make a living off the onternet, and rely on views to make said-living, you get kinda obsessive! I love that Megamind puts his all into learning how to be up-to-date with slang terms haha! He really did learn quite a lot!
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"Only 100 views?! Why haven't I become a virus yet?!" He's so adorable. I would rewatch his stuff a THOUSAND times if I could! … Oh, wait, I do. (I imagine Megamind just coming into my room and being like "kinda creepy, but flattering…!")
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Megamind being scared that he's become "unpopular". That's interesting to think about, even when he was a villain, he was loathed, but he wasn't unpopular. They LOVED loathing him! He was Metrocity's Number One Supervillain!
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Keiko then tries to help him, and he shuts her down! He decides to take matters into his own hands! He's too impatient to do as she requests and just wait it out! He's on his way to seek INSTANT gratification!
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Oh my Gooodd, Dude Monkey is the wooorrrssstttt! And Christina is a bully! I have to assume she's cruel to Megamind out of jealousy, but jealous or not, that's my man she's bullying! Cut it out, woman! And I don't know why, but it's super funny to me when Megamind refers to her by name. "Heelarious, CHRISTINA!" I think it's so funny because they're acting like a couple of highschoolers who are fighting over the hunky football player.
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Oh, this is the best part! Megamind trying out all the different disguises and personas haha! This is him using everything he learned whilst browsing the onternet!
"If this is the hero Metrocity wants me to be, THEN SO! SHALL! I! BE! IT!"
"Crimes a-poppin'! Daaang!" HAHAHA he's such a dork, I love him. "Scope that! Crime much, am I right?" HAHAHA "You'll LOL as I trick-shot these handcuffs right on Nighty-Knight's wrists!"
"Nah! Crime-stopping rocks!" "CRIME-A-DOODLE-DON'T!" (best line ever hahahaha)
Oohh, cowboy Megamind is delightful, he's been my phone background since this episode came out last year on March 1st (I can't believe it's almost been a year already, 2024 FLEW by)! BACKSLASH RAD!
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So funny that Chum gets obsessed with memes hahaha, new special interest activated!
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"Imagine her telling me I don't know what I'm doing!" (-RECAP- Keiko really is a necessary addition, because Megamind himself has been so sheltered and secluded that he would have NO idea what's going on, ever. Her being there to assist him is pretty important! -END RECAP-)
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Roxanne: I need a 30 minute nap after eating three chicken wings! (Paahhaha)
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Another incredible line: "On my way to the hospital. My back is LOUSY with stab wounds." This is Megamind's way of calling Roxanne a back-stabber HAHAHA
I do love that Roxanne WANTED to pick Megamind though, and that it was just the city that preferred Dude Monkey. She agrees Dude Monkey is dumb! Yay! "Dumb-ocracy, am I right?" "You can't unspoil my sour mood with mayoral dad jokes, Roxi."
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"I posses super intelligence, otherworldly handsomeness, and selfless humility. Yet, I am felled by a bananalamadingdong." 1.) The first sentence has such "I decided to pick something a bit more humble; MEGAMIND! Incredibly handsome, criminal genius and master of all villainy!" vibes, 2.) HE'S EATING CHIPS! HE ALSO LIKES CHIPS! ADDING THAT TO THE LIST OF FOOD MEGAMIND EATS
Food Megamind eats: Tacos, toquitos, chocolate milk, coffee, kombucha, donuts, ice-cream, chips
There's also a Chinese food box, an applejuice box, and a soda cup on the floor! I wonder if that was from him or from Keiko? We later find out Keiko throws her garbage right on the floor of the Lair so I'm not sure! It wouldn't surprise me, though, if Megamind was the one to consume those things. He eats to comfort himself, as later episodes prove.
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Megamind truly fears people laughing at him! He really doesn't want to come off as a "bafoon" in any way. He prides himself on his Mega-Mindery, for a while that's all he felt he had going for him -- plus, I mean, his very NAME is based on how intelligent he is. He expresses fear at being laughed at in the original film, too -- being in his jammies in front of Roxanne terrifies him! Running away from the pieces of Metroman's statue after he blew it up "I hope no one's seeing this!" Also there was concept art of Megamind as a kid being laughed at by all the students at school because he dressed up as a superhero and wore a wig. MEAN! I think it's part of why he doesn't like being laughed at and does what he can to ensure he isn't. Trauma!
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Little Terry Sasko Says: I love that Megamind messes up just like me. In a weird way, that's inspiring. (So real)
This whole episode ties in really well with the original film, with Megamind wanting to be something he's not. He always has trouble with that; he wants to be perceived in a very specific way -- and that way is whatever gets him the most positive attention. My boy has trauma and he needs hugs (from Roxanne. Also kisses).
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It's kinda funny, but what Nighty-Knight's up to is obvious if you pay attention to HIM during his scenes earlier in the episode. I… was not paying attention to him, at all. Had no idea what he was doing. Too busy looking at Megamind. ALSO -- it's hilarious how Megamind is coming off as a genius as he explains his thought process, but it's more like everyone else is just dumb (looking at you, Chum). HAHA!
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Roxanne: Please give me good news, like a meteor is heading this way so I don't have to listen to this speech. (HAHAHA ROXANNE, she can have a dark sense of humor, it's great.)
I just heard Dude Monkey in the background saying "fish don't have lungs like humans do. They have gills!" (SHOCK AND AWE!!!)
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Nighty-Knighty: You dare talk confusingly to the Duke of Darkness?? (Nighty-Knight is by far my favorite member of the Doom Syndicate, he's hilarity shadowified.)
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Dude Monkey saying "we so do not have the budget for this!" when Nighty-Knight starts using his powers -- I bet the writers added that in there because it was an actual concern! I mean, really, can you imagine being given only a certain amount of money, and having to know what you can/can't do based on the amount you have? That sounds like it'd get really complicated. (I think that's why sometimes in movies, in one scene the CGI will be fantastic and in the next scene it'll be sub-par, more of the money went toward one scene than the other.)
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"Welcome to MEGAMIND'S RULES FOR DEFENDING YOUR CITY!" That's the name of his channel, apparently! That was also the title, or at least the working title, of this series when it was first announced!
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Dude Monkey and his friend remind me of the guys from "Dude, Where's My Car?"
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WOAH, I just realized Megamind said "Metro City" instead of "Metrocity" for the first time this ep! Ha! We do know he's capable of saying words correctly, he just tends not to, or forgets to. But when on camera, or when he knows he shouldn't, he changes it (such as right now, where he is on camera for his channel)! That happened in the original movie, too, where he's about to say "shool" to Roxanne as Bernaard, but quickly changes it to "school". It also happens in a later episode, when Megamind and Roxanne swap bodies. I think he categorizes things in his brain, and when one folder is open, the other is closed, so he is on and off with things depending on which folder is open. Kind of like he goes into modes. THIS Mega-mode doesn't say that, but the OTHER Mega-mode does.
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OH, more features on the De-Gun revealed! I know some new ones were added, or some were replaced, so I'm going at it as if it's a gun with new features. Meaning I'm not going based off what I know to be true about the De-Gun in the original film.
So now we have: De-ep Freeze, De-sintigrate, De-Gravity, De-Moralize, De-Lock, De-hydrate, De-stroy, De-bilitate.
(ignore that I focused on "de-bilitate" twice)
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Megamind after he freezes Nighty-Knight: Pretty chill, home boy! (HAHAHAA)
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crowd goes wild
Megamind: "Thank you, thank you! Oh, please no, you're too much! But it is fitting." (HEHEE)
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Chum making his own meme, and it's just a picture of Megamind with the words "Inspirational Hero ROFL"
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1.) Nighty-Knight looks cool without his armor. He's literally a shadow person.
2.) I love holographic-brain Machiavillain. It's fun that our introduction to the character was him as a holographic brain. It makes you wonder what he really looks like! I'll bet he was peeved at being a holographic brain when he's so obsessed with his hair.
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I'd say it's my 11th favorite episode! There are 16, so 11 of 16.
1 - Thrilling Conclusions 2 - Extra Credit 3 - A Cake for Keiko 4 - Villain City 5 - Who Wants to Save a City 6 - Game Over 7 - Mission: Machia Fest 8 - The Art of Destruction 9 - Blue Prison 10 - MegaMayor 11 - Megamind vs Dude Monkey 12 - Roach Hard: With a Vengeance 13- Hero for a Day 14 - The Villanous Origin of Mr. Donut 15 - Of Mice That Are Men 16 - Too Much Chum
#this took me literally over 5 hours#NOTICE MY WORK#megamind#megamind rules#megarox#roxanne ritchi#minion#chum#ol chum#chuminion#keiko morita#megamind vs dude monkey#my megamind rules reviews
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when you’re having a particularly shitty day and you text satoru that you wish you could see him right now (out of the blue, with no prior context) he comes to you at full throttle, no matter what. your phone buzzes with a text from him that says “look out the window” and when you do, you see him standing there with his arms open and the most lovable silly grin on his lips
#— ai rambles#obviously i am having such a horrible day#my brain is refusing to shut down#and i need to be in his arms so bad :(#only this can heal me :(
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#something is very obviously different about these two compared to my normal images on this blog. i acknowledge this#also the sv model is Really good. and since they always stare straight at the camera anyway… and no one pays attention to the background…#and the only high-quality phantump model i could find was so horribly shiny that its eyes were just white voids#in my defense‚ phantump always just stare straight at you in game#the lighting is different‚ yeah. that's probably the dead giveaway. beyond the background. but like. i'm the only being on the planet who#really likes phantump anyway. i feel like it's a generally forgettable pokémon to most folks#phantump#HELLO this one is a weird one. i have some explaining to do. so when i did this one i didn't know how to edit models really at all#and when i got the models for these‚ the xy models were super shiny. shiny to the point that it made their eyes fuckin invisible#and i decided that since you could barely tell it was phantump‚ i needed a different way to get these images#i remembered that in the SV dlc‚ every time you find a wild phantump‚ it just fucking. stares. at you. and i was like. aha#i kinda remembered because of the test stream that i did. tumblr user alligayytorr (am i getting the right amount of Ys) said#“haha i am getting a sneak peek” when i zoomed the camera in on a phantump. and i remembered that. and i was like. i can utilize this#and ended up using just an in-game screenshot of SV in replacement of the regular content. later on‚ after that#once we got into gen 7 and it became less and less reliable to find models‚ i had to learn how to edit them manually to remove the shine#i am a software dev. not a 3d modeler. this ended up coming down to editing the code of the models directly (which i ended up writing a#script to automate). now‚ today‚ january 22nd (the day of me writing these tags and updating this post)‚ i remembered this post was in the#queue and was not normal. so i went back‚ ran the script on the phantump and trevenant models‚ and unshinified them#then edited these two posts to be normal. i have left the original pictures i took under the cut for reference and as bonuses#because i really enjoy phantump. so that's why those images are there‚ and that's why these tags are here#just for posterity's sake‚ the folks who come here mostly for my commentary‚ i've left the ORIGINAL tags of the post when i initially#made it with the SV pictures up at the top (i wanted to rearrange them‚ but tumblr makes that Very difficult‚ so i left them as-is)#so if these tags are confusing to read i Apologize. but i hope now that you're at the bottom you understand what happened#i'm gonna go edit the trevenant post now
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i love bringing anti-establishment vibes into the establishment
#im radicalizing my coworkers#but also im like why are yall not as antiestablishment for me when the corporation we work for is obviously horrible#the pharmacist literally got yelled at (not even hyperbolic) for taking off around christmas#luckily the store was closed on christmas day itself#but like bruh#then we literally have severe understaffing making unsafe working conditions for the patients#and we are all running around like a chicken w our heads cut off all shift#im like guys we are all slaves to the corporation#and theyre all making even less money than i am and i dont even make that much#except the pharmacist of course#idk how everyone doesnt have my very anti-establishment mindset#but anyway#i hope my pharmacist didnt take what i said as an insult#i just said that the corporation is forcing one pharmacist to check 8 million prescriptions in 5 seconds#and when you work faster than you should it causes more mistakes#but that was after my one coworker said but (pharmacist name#) does it#so i hope she didnt take that as a dig at her#bc shes writing my recommendations LMAO#and also just bc i like her#bc shes just doing the best in a system that has set her up to fail#its not her fault#she's a good pharmacist#but in this environment safety or patient care is not the priority profit is#and they literally just cut the store hours again#so theyre just making it even worse
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It’s the daily mail so i don’t know why I’m surprised but, what is wrong with you? you’re an actual freak
#am I being overdramatic or is this just genuinely not an appropriate way to discuss someone else’s looks - even at 500 years of distance#apart from anything else#other people will have that body type today#it’s not unique to this historical figure#there’s no need to be so horrible#I mean fair enough for people to dislike him obviously#but istg if I have to suffer through another pig or toad comparison#I long for a day where some of these writers/historians find it within themselves to be respectful about these Tudor figures’ apperances#Henry and Cromwell for their weight and 'ugliness' being linked to their morality especially#(or being nasty about looks/bodies at all actually. even if there’s no moral connection being made)#would love for some of them to be in any way normal about this man#Wolf hall#Thomas Cromwell
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plain and simple i am not going to be able to remain in this fandom long-term if i have to keep putting disclaimers on every single one of my posts that say i don't condone dennis' bad, bad actions and that i am in fact aware he's got a history of sexual assault and dubious/nonconsent. the entire gang has done heinous shit. why is dennis the only one who needs to be treated like this? if some rando wants to post about how dennis is pookie pie that doesn't automatically mean they're blind to his crimes. every single member of the gang is a piece of shit. that's kind of the point.
draw dennis with cat ears who give a shit
#ada speaks#i'm not vagueing this is a constant thing ive experienced#i still have angry anons sitting in my askbox mad that i didn't explicitly condemn him last time i got into this#i'm really not a fan of the tension in the fandom the last few days#and like. i know its a hot button issue rn. everyone's going back and forth abt mac and dennis' SA#but this fandom genuinely does have an issue SPECIFICALLY MENTIONING things mac does to dennis and uwu-ifying them#when they are explicitly classified as SA in canon (which is an actual present issue i think needs to be addressed)#rather than like. just the mere MENTION of dennis outside of his SA is somehow condoning his actions#im sorry but i really do not feel the need to constantly talk about him assaulting women#everyone knows. everyone sees it. just bc i am dissecting other parts of his character does not mean i forgot he's a horrible person#it just means im trying to understand where he's coming from (which obviously does not change the facts.)#viewing dennis as a person with unresolved trauma stemming from elsewhere doesn't negate the damage he is doing to other people#he's not a real person where humanizing him does tangible damage#so i am going to continue to look into shit. when i talk about the CSA he went through it's not a justification.#but it does explain his actions in a character motivation type way which is what i am interested in#seeing what makes him tick#i think most people who follow me understand this by now. but i also don't think shit we see him do constantly in canon needs bringing up.#it's the subtle stuff that ties everything together and i want to put it all together to solve a puzzle
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one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao
#moogletalks#in some ways it was a wonderful community; and it taught me a lot of really helpful things#and made me feel validated and hopeful that This is a Thing That You Can Continue to Be and Develop in an Adult Life#instead of feeling like there was a time limit for when plurality stopped being Childlike Imagination and started being Craziness(tm)#(lots to unpack there lol)#.....in other ways not only was there Some Real Fuckery going on in the community in general; on an interpersonal basis#but i cannot overstate how horrifically toxic and damaging some of the things it taught me about plurality were#and how when i entered the phase of young adulthood where i realized the approach it had demanded of me was unsustainable to my survival#instead of having other perspectives on hand to go 'hey yeah you're not torturing your parts to death out of laziness if they go dormant'#'and/or if you don't spend hours of extremely grueling intensive work at minimum into maintaining them every single day of your life'#'and that if they dissolve into nothing because you Didn't Pay Them Enough Attention and you try to recreate them it won't be the same one'#'and if they DO actually come back as themselves they'll be horribly broken and traumatized and probably hate you forever'#'who the fuck told you that. oh my god?'#all i had to go on was 'either you're plural or you live an actual functional life in the real world; and i can't not do the latter atp'#and the result was repressing myself in an incredibly traumatic way i have just never fully recovered from even now#the fun cherry on top was that later when i *did* try to ask (very kind and well-meaning) plural ppl from another mental health community#if anything i described sounded familiar to their own experiences; or ones they had heard from other people#their response was pretty much 'idk that doesn't sound plural to me; i'm sorry; it's something where if you have it you know :('#me crying my eyes out for days afterward: obviously this reaction is bc i want to appropriate plurality to feel special#and am throwing tantrums at having the bubble broken by Reality#anyway. it's been a lot and yeah i really wish i'd had literally any other affirming plural community as a kid lol#ableism cw#internalized ableism cw#pluralitag#traumatag#adventures in mental illness#disabilitag
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its kind of funny to me that in the comics supergirl kind of occupies the spot for like the edgy superman. which is kind of weird for her typical role as kid sidekick to superman because her thing as a character (at least the versions of her character that i like) is that she doesn't have a reason to help anybody and doesn't like earth. edgy superman. but she's also the kid sidekick. strange juxtaposition
#it obviously depends on which comic you're reading#cause like there are completely different versions of supergirl depending on which version we're talking about#there's like 3 different supergirls with 5 different backstories#there's the one where she's a kind of slime goop that mimics the form of a girl--that was matrix#that was the version from the 80s that continued into the 90s--the weird run that had like angels and demons and stuff#god that one was weird#then there was the main one which is kara zor el but she has like 3 different backstories on her own#there's the argo city one which is truly horrible where like she watches thousands of people die in front of her#that one was most recently used in the supergirl woman of tomorrow comic written by the vile tom king at least as far as i'm aware#then there was the pod version (the more popular one) which has two variations on its own#variation one was that she's actually older than superman but got stuck in suspended animation for like 25 years#and variation two where she's just younger than him and i don't know how that works#of course the argo backstory is also the pod backstory they're not incompatible#it does beg the question of which you think is more tragic:#waking up one day to find out everyone you ever knew is dead and gone or watching them all die slowly in front of you#anyway the third super girl is power girl who is super girl except older so she's power girl because they didn't do a 2 spider man thing#this is easy to follow right#oh right and apparently they made a completely new backstory for her in my adventures with superman though i never watched that#because i still have to finish the supergirl cw show which is ANOTHER version of her character where she's 24 instead of a teenager#which sounds like a small thing but it literally turns her into a completely different character#i mean like powergirl is a completely different character isnt she#what was i talking about? right i kind of liked new 52 supergirl at least the first few issues#i really liked the disorientation of “where am i who are these people where's my family” she goes through#shame it kind of sucked#i'm probably not going to finish the CW show by the way. i'll probably give up halfway through season 3 if we're being optimistic
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in class today i felt so incredibly out of place again, why does it have to be so hard for me? and, i like this girl, but every single time we have class she mentions her "autism" while happily chatting with 3+ ppl at a time, completely effortless, while im sitting there, staring and trying to focus enough to even understand the conversation bc there is so much noise around me that i feel like i'm about to either explode or shut down completely and i feel like an alien trying my best to somehow socialize and understand what is going on and really to just get through this.
#i feel awful i was so close to just breaking into tears at one point#we had the introduction to greek archaeology course for the first time today and... i hate it#it is so fucking boring#the lecturer is italian and while her english vocabulary is great her accent already makes it hard to understand her but what is worse is#that she completely mispronounces a ton of english words so you constantly have to sorta interpret what she is saying#i genuinely didnt understand at least a third of what she was saying today#and its all “look this painting on this and that vase” and its basically art history and i hate art history i really dont give a shit#and then i felt like i picked the wrong study program and i should just drop out which ofc is complete bullshit bc the courses i have monda#are really interesting as they are about prehistory which i am actually interested in and its ok to not care about certain eras of arch.#we were even told that by one lectures who also didnt give a shit about christian archaeology and was only interested in prehistory#so i know its ok rationally but everything was so awful today that my brain went into doom mode#and earlier my father yapped about the election to my mom while i hid in the bathroom lol and then he said in his horrible condescending#voice how “kamala is so stupid you cant sit her in front of a camera (for an interview)” and how she is “just as dumb as baerbock”#baerbock is a german politician - and obviously a woman#there r a million politicians he could choose from but he went with 2 women#i hate him so fucking much#i am not prone to violent phantasies at all but with him its different#i wish he would just die#ok now that we are so cozy and cheerful in these tags i'm gonna go to bed to spend another shitty day at uni tomorrow goodnight#personal
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Gaslighting, my old friend, I'll fall for you every single time <3
#i have known my dad is an alcoholic since i was literally 4 and my mom told me thats the reason she divorced him#ive been to COA support group twice in my life. i have the horrible personal anecdotes. i have the constant anxiety.#and still !!! with the right amount of ridicule in the right setting ill question everything#a spiral of misery and self doubt and paranoia etc etc#for context: im on a vacay with my dad and sis and his childhood friends#and i published a short nonfiction story where i talk about how isolating it can be when your parent is an addict#and EVERYONE is making constant jokes in reference to this text like 'ohhh like the alcoholic i am *wink wink* im gonna have another beer'#several times a day. and ive just not been saying anything abt it bc i feel guilty abt 'exposing' my dad even tho isnt not even a secret#but seeing as my sister is never on my side abt this and that his friends are obviously on his side i feel like the loneliness girl on earth#and tbh there rly isnt any sides to this bc addiction is just a horrible fucking disease for everyone involved#but he makes it into this awful game where i always come out the loser bc im just a kid and i cant make anyone believe me#im not a kid. obviously. but thats what this feels like. like im the little kid with silly stories no one believes#and the worst part is i wrote the text trying to reclaim what has been a lifetime of centering HIM and his addiction into everything i do#trying to protect him and his dignity#and this was my trying to reclaim my life and talk about how IM affected for once#but once again he ends up being the centre of conversation of my text. which. btw is about a lot more than my dad
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This is generalization but it does make me feel like I’m losing my mind. Anglo-American romance novels aimed at women—‘what if you, a normal person, were forced into proximity with the smuggest most self-satisfied person who physically invades your space, insults you, acts like an attention whore at best, borderline sexually assaults you, isn’t that great’ and then you go to romance manga aimed at young women—‘what if you, a normal person, we’re forced into proximity with a two faced bitch who tries to control your every move and also refuses to speak or engage with you unless it’s to isolate you from your peers or get mad at you for talking to another living person’
#obviously there are variants but it drives me insane how even stuff aimed at women is like. isn’t it nice when men treat women horribly.#wouldn’t you love to be treated horribly except the horrible guy in question is hot#literally the extent of straight women’s fantasies is that they get some enjoyment out of looking at men who hate them#aim higher! aim anywhere other than the floor! read yuri for crying out loud#can we not get women to fantasize about getting along with someone and having a good time with them.#save me LoveCom you’re my only hope#kelsey rambles#romcom discourse was dead five years ago but the point remains that if the male lead of your average love interest existed in real life#he should not be allowed within 10 ft of any woman but his grandmother#this isn’t talking about the way romance is used in fiction or the way relationship arcs work or anything#this post is strictly limited to romance as a projection of women’s fantasies out into the world to be consumed for pure self-indulgence#if you’re having a cheat day you shouldn’t be eating stale chips ahoy.#if you’re indulging why not have a crème brûlée! have the world’s densest chocolate cake!#have an almond slice with cream and strawberries. self-indulgence ought to feel good.#I have a sister who likes men so I am assured that the despicable shoujo love interests of the world are attractive in some arcane way#I just can’t fathom it. if a man even half hinted at me that treatment like that was on the table I’d move cities.
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im not very talkative about my schizophrenia because i dont want to be taken advantage of, or misunderstood more than i already am on a daily basis (Along with my autism aswell). but goddamn do better about people with it, yknow? shouldnt be so hard to ask that of people.
#everyday i am reminded how much stigma goes along with it and i just get even quieter#i handle it alone bc obviously i have to. but the stigma makes it harder to get help or understanding#especially after someone knows you have it#they use it against you MORE even with things that arent even related to the mental illness whatsoever#just day to day things they use it against you.#its horrible and make the illness worse. treat ppl with schizophrenia like people#i had childhood onset schizophrenia. like i had symptms back as far as 5 yrs old#i was only able to have access to some helps in my teens and got diagnosed
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Anyways with Walpurgisnaught Rising coming out y'all better start acting real normal about Homura real quick
#me when a 14 year old suffers through repreated trauma and finally does something bad out of desperation#“Uh is Homura actually a horrible evil person? uh has Homura ALWAYS been a bad person?? god i hate Homura so much” please stop actually lol#me when i think Homura hates every member of the Holy Quartet just because she only tries to save Madoka#please please i am begging you to rewatch the series she TRIED to save everyone COUNTLESS times it always ended in disaster#she still obviously is UPSET when she watches the rest of them die they were her FRIENDS she jusy doesn't have big reactions to it#because she's USED to it she's EXPECTING it like fjfhdjdjddf Madoka Magica makes me feel things#i love Homura so so much she's such a good character i wish the best for her i need her to find happiness#every day i am devastated that Madoka Magica was going to have a happier ending but then they just left it open for rebellion#and then they left rebellion open ended and didn't do anything with it for 11 years fnfncnfndf#anyways Nagisa has a VA credited for this one so my baby girl is coming back!!!
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ugh ughhhhhhh im hungry :( i grabbed our mostly empty bread loaf this morning since my brother was downstairs and i was panicked but it only had three slices and ive eaten them all and now im hungry.....when is that man leaving so i can have a decent meal in peace like what the hell. also i think theres something very very wrong with me mentally cause thats kind of fucked up :/
#I DONT HAVE AN ED...like at least not when it comes to weight except i feel bad when i lose weight.#so thats like the opposite of that. its just that whenever my mum was mad at me id have to avoid her so id have to stay in my room and#i didnt know how long it was until she was Not Mad so it could be like a few days to like a week or so. and obviously i couldnt make proper#meals cause if shes downstairs then that sucks#and i didnt want to eat dinner so id just say i wasnt hungry and then be hungry lol. but also when she cooked it was always stuff i couldnt#stand. either like i dont like it or it was just horrible texture or whatever else.#and so obviously id always default to grabbing whatever i can and stashing it in my room. which was a problem cause obviouslly its not heal#healthy stuff. or its like snack food that gets depleted fast and then i get in trouble for it. and im not living there anymore but its#carried over and idk i always feel embarressed to eat. like people will judge me if i eat. cause i can eat a lot! especially when im hungry#and i usually am! but then people are like wowww i cant believe you eat that much thats crazy#and god idk where im even going with this anymore i just have such a fucking issue with food like. its not even funny#and i cant even bring it up cause no one fucking cares!!!! no one in my family gives a shit to a genuine degree!!! it doesnt matter what#they say cause in the end you got issues and im mad that you have issues and were not talking about it bc i dont care#and its so fucking annoying
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