#observer affect
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Two from the same episode this time around, tried to cut it down to one but the quote from the wagon one was too cool to pass up. And I already had a fun visual idea for 'eat me' in my head so just ended up doing them both.
It's the first with doubles but not the last, a few of Micheals episodes have lots of good lines I want to do.
I'm really proud that I didn't give up making the cracked glass the text, instead of putting it around the image. Because I was struggling to make it look good for a while but we got their eventually.
#art#my art#parsley's art#fanart#tma fanart#tma#the magnus archives#mag 58#mag 60#trail rations#observer affect#jacket patches
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so just know, I'm healing / even though it don't feel like it
insp
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#good evening it is past midnight and i am here furthering the itfs scar kissing agenda#stumbled across the insp pic buried in my likes and i went oh this is relevant in the opposite direction :) I Can Use This :)#op has some of my fav itfs fanart ill b so real n tht piece ws swimming around in my brain fr Days#so i told myself today my reward for submitting my zine checkin wld b drawing yuuji kissing megumi's scars#also pls observe. /this/ is what i mean when i say tht megumi receiving affection looks like he is unsure and in mild pain#Does Not Know How To Respond To Affection Even From His Own Boyfriend.png#i LOVE drawing megu with this expression so sosos much the downcast sidelong gaze + furrowed brow.....#its SO good#also idk what i did with his hair here but the render actually turned out so well ?? best megu hair to date every1 pls clap#not 2 mention th shape of yuuji's bangs???? pats self on th back no offense but i am on fire w these boys' hair lately#that being said i decided i did not want to render anything else ddfdfjjghdjgf i got tired#kept the rest flat n took the opportunity to play around w light chromatic abberation on the scars#idk if any1 noticed but i found th retro film filter n used it a bunch on my recent comic#its so convenient it comes w built in noise n everything!!!!!!#anyway . caption is salt fv <333 if u care <333333#i think it is also a megu song but like . a post-canon megu song#i thought this wld take longer bc i was planning on rendering everything so i cracked an energy drink and am tragically awake#shld i start smth new we shall see smile :)
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Why do you always use that to piss me off? ...It makes me happy. We agreed that I'm in charge of the bars. But you come here all the time to watch me. How am I supposed to lead my people? Use your head, okay? Suit yourself. What's the matter? Chen Yi. Chen Yi! [...] Don't make me worry.
Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#userspicy#userrain#uservid#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#your honor i would like to remind you and the jury that ai di is faking drunk at this time#at the most he is a little tipsy and Definitely pretending to be asleep.#now your honor please observe in the fifth gif ai di slinging his other arm around chen yi's neck. while ''''''asleep''''''#as well as the way it slides back down chen yi's shoulder and how he clearly puts it back to get a better grip#and next your honor i would like to direct your attention to the last gif. and the way ai di's fingers curl when zherui says#'love and admiration are different'. not only do they curl but they pinch. do you see?#as you can see from this evidence he is very aware of the conversation and desperately in need of chen yi's affection and attention#.............and its better than the goddamn darcy hand flex in my Personal Opinion. act your fucking heart out diandian.#and NOW observe the caption. by combining the conversation where chen yi drove off angrily with the one where he comes back for ai di#you can see that the Real reason he was upset was bc ai di was pushing him away#& he came back for him anyway. he just wants to be close to ai di all his actions & feelings are ai di-centered even when the topic is cdy
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after some experimentation, i've found that "clean-shaven and hair hidden under a beanie" gets me gendered as male way more reliably than "hair loose, full moustache". no idea why long hair provokes such a strong "that's a girl" reaction, but there we go.
#other observations: binding doesn't affect it one way or another (likely because i wear a lot of baggy layers)#makeup also doesn't make a difference and nor do earrings#i get he himmed when i'm wearing platforms and standing behind the counter because people think i'm taller than i am#so height is obviously a big factor. but i can't do much about that lol#voice is highly variable and can go either way#oh! and long coats for some reason tend to be perceived as Girly (again: no idea why)#wild!#be shh now
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I'm starting a petition to put Luo Binghe on mood stabilizers. Or just plain put him down. Whichever works.
#binghe. my brother in christ.#you mean to tell me that you're commiting genocide because the object of your criminally insane affection SMILED AT PEOPLE#and you're doing so while sobbing like a sopping wet pathetic little beast???#you are a fascinating specimen and i enjoy observing you but GET IT TOGETHER#these are severe lead poisoning levels of toxic yaoi#scum villain self saving system#svsss#svsss spoilers#mxtx#luo binghe
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one of my fav post game togami headcanons is the idea that in the early days of their time with the future foundation, he's the one doing the Bulk of the work -- not only in the Job sense of like, interpreting all the legalese and filing forms, and being mr ceo guy -- but in a caretaking sense as well.
and its still in his Weird Distant way but like. he picks up extra work so the others dont have to. he brings coffee and tells them when its time to turn in for the night. dont worry. he'll finish the work they have left. it's nothing to him. and sure all of it is couched in backhanded comments a la "if you're too weak to do it i will. i GUESS" because he's still too early in his Journey to Empathy to admit to himself that he's doing these things because he cares. like it's all rationalized as "im the better than everyone and my weak-willed so-called 'peers' are too consumed by grief to actually be useful so i'll do it because im naturally immune to burnout" (he isnt)
and also bc like. he feels BAD about everything that went down in hopes peak. again, not that he'd recognize it as such for years but. here are all these people that he doesn't (does) care about struggling against their own grief for the people they lost that he doesnt care about (or at least doesnt remember caring about) and he treated them SO poorly in some of the harder moments so now's when he needs to make up for it. sure his entire family is dead but he's alive and he's the best one, so he'll do the work. it's fine. this is what he was made for. extra paperwork? handled. too swamped to find time to grab food and water? tch, he's so on top of his work that he already got it for you, stupid. the most dangerous missions? whatever, you'd probably just mess it up anyways, so i'll do it.
#byakuya togami#and then there's the naegami of it all wherein naegi's powers of Observation and Compassion allow him to see through this big facade#so he's the one to be like 'hey. you dont have to do everything. you know that right.' <- hypocrite#which of course togami pinpoints immediately like 'heh youre one to talk. youre on the verge of collapsing. give me half ur work NOW‼️'#so 90% of their courtship is them trying to get the other to sit down for .5 seconds and the other refusing#because the core truth of naegami is that if either of them sit still the bad thoughts win#so they dont sit still EVER#kirigiri knows all of this as well but she's 1) more fucked up about it all than she's willing to admit#2) overwhelmed by the weight of her own responsibilities#(+ naegi's because she expresses affection in the same guilt ridden way that togami does)#and 3) doesnt like togami enough yet to care that he's killing himself with work#and knows it wouldnt matter even if she did say something because he's certainly not going to listen to HER
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Super Mega Ultrawatch!Symmetra is Vishkar's failed kaiju experiment. She's become more aggressive towards people, but doesn't particularly seem interested in fighting either. They have to provoke her into turning into her kaiju form to fight the heroes
She really likes Lifeweaver's biolight plants though, it's one of the few things that snaps her out of her rampages. In this au, he takes her with him when he leaves the company
#symweaver#symmetra#lifeweaver#overwatch#overwatch 2#i just made a messy doodle because im feeling lazy today#her wings are usually folded behind her but she flares them out when she feels threatened#the butterfly brain makes her territorial but her brain says that getting involved with senseless violence is a no go so it cancels out#She had no idea they were going to use her as a test subject so it wasnt a consensual procedure. Niran was equally as shocked#After the initial transformation she was incredibly hostile towards anything that came near her but she's neutral about being a kaiju now#her vocal cords were affected so she mostly communicates with body language and only niran can accurately guess what shes trying to say#they keep her in an observation room behind glass but sometimes she finds ways to get out. Or Niran just lets her out#she just likes sitting in the sunlight and eating salty foods but they keep trying to make her fight the ultrawatch heroes instead#Also no he never does finish that report
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I like thinking that Albert makes Barok act kinder simply by being in his presence.
I haven’t revisited the games /100%/ yet so I’m probably missing some things that extremely contradict what I’m saying but whatever I’m not taking off my BenBaro tainted glasses >:[
Spoilers below 👍
The biggest point that made me think this is in 2-3 when Drebber threatened Tusspell and Barok called him out on it. Every time I watch someone play this part, they always act surprised that Barok spoke up. So it made me think that Barok hadn’t done anything similar. (Which I’m pretty sure is wrong but I don’t have a good enough memory to say for sure) ((me thinks Barok has had moments of his true gentlemanly nature beforehand but WHATEVER))
And then there was the section where they convinced Albert to let his experiment be investigated. Barok speaks directly to Albert to which Susato comments “I’ve never heard him speak that way before”. Obviously bc the games are not fully voiced, they have to throw lines like Susato’s to tell you things like a character’s tone. In this case, I think it’s fair to assume that Barok is speaking MUCH softer or more patient (maybe even desperate??? If we could be so delusional,,,) than he would be with most characters.
And of course there’s the biggie of Barok taking on Albert’s case and insisting the teleportation worked. We know that Barok took the case bc he didn’t trust anyone else to do the prosecution, and bc he ONLY trusted Ryunosuke for the defense (God I love Barok’s character arc okay anyways) and he knew it’d only be them two that could uncover the real truth to set Albert free.
Even knowing Barok’s intentions, it still makes my brain fuzzle thinking about Barok trying to prove Albert guilty of murder. Like, Barok knew Albert was innocent and definitelyyyy didn’t believe in the experiment but he still did all that?? I believe the game explains it as Barok wanting to keep Alberts reliability as safe for as long as possible.
Which??? is…so??? Cute???!?
Like, again, bc my memory of the games are pretty faint, I could be forgetting some of Barok’s scenes, but he just doesn’t seem like the type of character to prolong the inevitable??? He seems much more the type to want to get down to the truth as fast as possible. So for him to be like “I’m gonna defend my friend’s life work and credibility even if it means his death bc that’s what he would want” LIKE WAH??? Albert did literally say that he would rather die then be proved a sham and it’s, like….Barok knew that!!! He knows his friend!! And wants to respect his wishes!!! BUT ALSO…fuck that he’s not gonna let his only friend die??? So he does help convince Albert to give in but just…the fact Barok prolonged it at all is…yeah…
Maybe it was Barok trying to show Albert that even tho Barok has changed, and people call him awful things, he still understands him all these years later and cares for him. He wanted to let Albert know that before switching gears and disproving his theory. Like…I can’t think of why Barok would want to do that OTHER THAN FOR ALBERTS FEELINGS especially when Barok never intended to follow through.
Anyways this case has Barok acting noticeably weird. Bc it’s Albert.
Like Albert, Barok hasn’t talked to him in 10 years. The last impression/image Barok had of Albert was *10 years ago*. Just like Albert thinks Barok as “unassuming and gentlemanly” “a kind hearted soul”. Barok, too, is running off his thoughts of Albert from 10 years ago bc that’s all he has (obviously those thoughts have probably been altered slightly after seeing each other again but still)
So finally to the main point and reason of this ramble. I like to think seeing Albert again brought him back to his uni days. Seeing your close friend from school, only having memories of him from that time…maybe it ended up affecting him and he subconsciously found himself resurfacing those times.
Speaking up against someone being rude to a lady, defending your friend’s credibility bc you know it’s what they care about more than their own life, speaking softer to said friend, it all seems rather gentlemanly don’t you think?
Side bar:
I’ve found myself going back to the idea of “Barok not wanting Albert to see how far he’s fallen” or “Barok acting a certain way so that Albert won’t dislike him now” multiple times now…inchresting….
I think it just adds to the tragedy of Barok
#the great ace attorney#ace attorney#barok van zieks#albert harebrayne#benbaro#tgaa#dgs#(throwing the Benbaro tag in there even though I’m not insinuating any romance#but it is about them and how one affects the other#you know#character relationship stuff)#long post#this feels so delusional but I trust myself to say something with some merit#anyways I LOVE RAMBLING ABOUT MY THOUGHTS AND OBSERVATIONS#especially with characters I’m obsessed with 🤭🤭🤭#I was crying about Barok the other day#not even kidding#it’ll be its own post but HE MAKES ME ILL#WHICH IS SO FUNNY BC I USED TO NOT LIKE THIS GUY#LMAOOOO#anyways I like this idea a lot…#it’s fun to think about it applying in the future too#for serious or comedic effect#I’m probably gonna regurgitate this too my irl friends too bc at least 2 of them are interested enough to listen 🤭🤭🤭 love them
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Chapter 275 of Blue Lock is slowly eating away at my existence like how am I supposed to recover from this:
So triggered that he's reliving the devastating conversation he and his brother had.
Isagi to the rescue--erasing Sae's phantom, keeping Rin from completely falling apart mid-game.
Why are we putting our lives on the line--this is soccer.
Why are we dying together. This is soccer.
I get it, Isagi is special. I'm happy for you but Rin get some help.
I love this scene so much it's killing me.
#this scene is both super moving to me#and also ominous like rin you can't just shift your pain onto someone else hun#but the acknowledgment that isagi brings a side out of him that nobody else can I really like that but also like what are we gonna do abt i#isagi can't save you rin#like I'm fairly certain that's what rin wants--someone to help him get over his brother#but we saw how obsessing over isa affected him and he still ended up hallucinating his brother so...lol#isagi can help but idk how quite yet i'm excited to see#bllk#blue lock#itoshi rin#isagi yoichi#there is something else to be said in a longer post abt how ppl have observed the way they move together when playing#how they're basically the same bc they're so in sync#someone help me formulate coherent thoughts
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Anyone else think Khan is gonna develop into this?
I mean. This concept art is high-effort and detail. He IS developing into SOMETHING.
I mean, he already has a gun and a slight new attitude.
And he's about to get into a 3-on-1 fight with J. I'd be surprised if he doesn't see any injury at all.
Like, Alice's concept art wasn't as detailed and the only thing that really changed was the outfit. It was still the same character
Edit after adding tags: Please read the tags lmao I rambled again
#miley's rambles#murder drones#murder dromes analysis#khan doorman#khan murder drones#khan md#pringlesman#alice murder drones#< mentioned#alice md#then again I've come up with outright crazy theories#I came from utdr what do you expect#I WANT PRINGLESMAN TO BE COOL OKAY#also I've noticed the crack is on his right eye which is where the solver icon always appears or affects#just an observation
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What is it with the flesh and having some of the most amazing quotes. the use of vaguely religious sounding statements is so good.
I couldn't choose between the two so ended up doing designs for both.
I wanted the design to be a mirror and I had the idea of it cracking in to the words pretty quickly but geeze if it didn't take for ever Messing around the words so they would read clearly but still look like cracks.
#art#my art#artist#artist on tumblr#fanart#tma fanart#tma#the magnus archives#mag 58#mag 60#trail rations#observer affect
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the way i was staring at my screen when mc threw a whole ass cup at caleb and he just stood there after it shattered and said "did that help you calm down?" in the most relaxed voice ever..
#[𐐪— rheya talks. 𐑂]#he was probably just looking at her like :)#and deadass just continued on by telling her to get some rest#if indulgent was a man it would be caleb and zayne tbh#but in two different ways#zayne is subtle about it... almost nurturing with his indulgence#it's usually shown in the ways he notices and understands mc's needs#and he encourages her to take care of herself and offers his help when she asks for it#like even smth as simple as him giving her his cards while playing only when she wants them#caleb on the other hand....#his indulgence is definitely more direct#intense even#and usually is more physical than zayne#lots of teasing and acts of service involved#also more spontaneous bc i'm so convinced that he likes showing his love in ways that are exciting or fun...#i just think his affection shows up as more bold#caleb indulges by leaning into the thrill of his relationship with you#he's also crazy so that might explain it#he's also veeeeryyyyy acutely aware of things#both him and zayne are very observant#but like i said zayne notices things but waits until you want his help or want him to mention smth#but caleb is so obsessive over even the smallest details and he can't help but act upon things he notices about you#which is why he knows you're swiping cards and cheating but he lets you do it with that amused smirk#let's you get away with it most of the time even tho he definitely knows#IDK THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEM BUT THEY'RE BOTH VERY SIMILAR AND I LOVE IT#i just know they were both fighting as kids for this exact reason as well#tee hee#anyways sorry for rambling it will happen again#lnds caleb#love and deepspace caleb
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Thank you for writing the (messy but neccessary) farcille breakdown. You handled it so wonderfully aaaaaaaah!! Like the other anon I was wondering how far "rock bottom" could get (because chapter 4 already felt pretty rock bottom) but. Yeah. That's pretty rock bottom, huh. The tragedy of loving someone but the other person not understanding <- this applies to both of them.
I think it was really neat how you flipped the question on who's reaching out to who with the academy flashback and the final scene with Namari, because... Marcille clinging onto Falin really is just a reversal of their academy days, isn't it? To everyone who met them after they reunited, it was always Marcille chasing after Falin, but to those who were at the magic academy, it was Falin chasing after Marcille. From picking flowers and berries to eat together, inviting Marcille out to see a play, and generally monopolizing her free time... I'm sure any of them would say the same thing as Namari, but in reverse. No wonder everyone thinks Marcille is just another friend to Falin. They weren't there to witness her pining /j. Idk!! I was rereading the chapter and the academy flashback girl was like "why do you hang off of Marcille so much" and I screamed to myself, "hey wait. HEY WAIT."
#asks#a little creature#im SO glad you pointed out how falin was the first to pine and chase but was discouraged#its a very very important part#i think a really common wlw experience is to internalize that first rejection forever#whether it came from the object of your affections or an outside observer#the first time you encounter disgust for what felt like just happiness and affection#it stays with you. it can turn into a cage for the rest of your life but what you dont realize is that#at some point youre strong enough to open the door for yourself and you have to be able to do it#ironically ive only been the perpetrator of this platonically#pushing away my friends and hurting them bc i didnt think that i mattered enough to affect them#romantically ive been mostly on the other end just begging a girl to meet me in the middle at the very least#because even if they feel intensely as i do its not fun to chase and chase and get nothing bc someone else in their past was cruel#so it dhsjjd shows up in my writing a lot#self loathing as a queer experience is almost universal. but are you able to stand up and grow beyond it? because you need to.#staying locked in your own head and never looking outwards is just another kind of selfishness#i dont always try to do it but lmao my writing almost always touches on this at least a little bit in various degrees as like#maybe my best attempt at a compassionate way of portraying this self-erasure as a kind of selfishness that needs to be addressed
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being an aro-spec self shipper has been rather funny because like. yeah i am self shipping cause hes beautiful and i want to kiss him nasty style, but im also more compelled by our dynamic. im treating this a little bit like actual shipping as if it didnt involve me. i think if you put us in a house together, we would form a very compelling and interesting narrative! i could foil and compliment his personality so well he gets another story arc. yknow? which is undoubtedly hysterically very aro-spec of me
#self ship#selfship#yumeship#*trying to flirt with a fictional character* hey hot stuff can we date so i can observe how this affects your psyche#self ship community#selfshipping community#self shipping#the fuck are you supposed to tag this kind of thing with. im neww sorry <3
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just had a realization as to why I find the Leave as Gods ending pretty chill and something I’d actually wouldn’t mind doing–
I’m nonbiney, xenogender, and relate more to abstract concepts than my own body, becoming a concept too great for anyone but yourselves and your literal soulmate to understand is literally my dream lmao.
#also. I fantasize all the time about just kinda becoming an transient ‘thing’ that can observe the world for eternity but doesn’t really has#to interact with it#so yeah. leaving as a god with my literal soulmate is my dream come true lmao#the Leaving as Mortals ending is very dear to me and the one I like exploring in writing more#but honestly. I’d hate going back to a human body that has to deal with things like Sensations#and Thoughts right after getting in touch with my abstract nature#anyway. this was just me rambling about my personal feelings on these endings#and my realization that my relationship to my own body and what ‘being a person’ feels like to me affects how I view these endings lmao#stp-posting#slay the princess#< yeah. sure. this is going in the main tag
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i feel like there's no way to say it without sounding Insane and attention-seeking but i Do wish that there was language that existed for talking about being traumatized by delusions/hallucinations without sounding like you're just saying "i made up something in my head and got hurt feelings about it"....
#N posts stuff#the popular post-psychosis narrative always seems to be 'okay you don't Believe it anymore so it's all done and you're#not affected by it in any way (unless you Stop Taking Your Meds and have another episode)' like it's Contained within itself#there's not really room for the 'well. it still Happened so it can still Affect you even if you recognize it wasn't ''Real'''#like there's no good way to speak about it w other people because it feels like a tightrope line difference between#'well it Wasn't traumatizing bc it wasn't Real so it didn't Really Happen' dismissal#or attempts to validate that just risk triggering another episode bc there's a veritable Minefield in 'it was real to you / it Was Real'#but it's HARD bc like. i can See it. i can Observe in myself that the like.#the home life situation i was in when i was younger Was traumatizing; and some of the delusions i've had have been#Equally traumatizing... i can See that. but if you try to Talk about it it's like 'okay. but it didn't Really Happen and you Know that#so Move ON stop trying to make yourself seem special' hhhhhhhhh#HOW do you square the knowledge that you were being abused with the knowledge that your abuser does not exist and never has?#WHERE do you put those conflicting realities? how do you get to make it make sense?#you should move on because it didn't happen. but it Did happen so you can't move on. WHERE do the pieces fit together?????
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