#oblivious muppets

[hagenwo43]

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i think the diamond dogs should play improv games just bc it would amuse me, an ex theater kid, specifically

[ayoooo3]

If ao3 manages to stay alive today…

Baby, There Ain't a Trail to Follow

By: MidnightRamblings, resakaye

Chapter 2: 8 Seconds at a Time

Summary:

There were a million things Eddie could have said in that moment, but what he did say was “You know, there are other things that can be done in the hay. Fancy a roll?”

With the parade behind them, the rodeo in full swing, and fireworks on the horizon, will Eddie and Steve be able to get out of their own way and into each others arms?

Keep reading…

[prettymonegasque]

Hii !! Can you write smut about Lando at the beach or on a yacht ? <3

Lando Norris x Reader

A/N: icymi I have the hots for innocent little lando norris

Warnings: SMUT 18+ Blow job, m! receiving, sub! Lando, jealousy, not proof read.

You've heard that jealousy is bad. It's the big green monster that ruins relationships. Luckily, you never had the chance to experience it. Until now. Something about the way that bitch laughed at Lando's lame jokes and kept touching his arm, triggered the wrong nerve. A primal urge to mark your territory rose in you. You were on a mission.

"Hey guys. How you doin'?" You walked over to Lando and the tramp. "Hey Y/N. Lando was just telling me how to beat Wario on Super Mario. I'm always stuck there." Her voice was annoyingly pitchy and her fucking hand was not moving away from your man. And that muppet was oblivious.

"Really? I beat him on the first try. Guess some of us know when to stop." You stared the girl down. Lando finally got to his senses and felt the tension simmering. "Anyways, I'm gonna borrow Lando for a bit." You didn't for a reply before dragging him to the little storage room in the yacht.

"Um. Can I ask what's happening or..?" Lando dragged looking at you with those innocent hazel green eyes. "You didn't know what she was doing?" You were wondering if he was mocking you or if he was genuinely confused. "She was asking about Super Mario." He shrugged. "God you're so adorable" You couldn't help how annoyingly innocent he was. You pushed him against the door and hungrily caught his lips.

You felt like an animal and you wanted the whole jungle to know who your mate is. You made sure to leave marks on his neck and he whined and gasped at your feral mission. "Baby, that's gonna leave a mark." He mumbled. The absence of a shirt worked out perfectly. You were on your knees and swiftly removed his swimsuit. Lando threw his headback but instead hit his head on the door. "Fuck" He half moaned as you started pumping him. You could see the precum leaking. As much as you wanted to feel his weight on your tongue, you also wanted to tease just a wee bit for unknowingly being a little slut. Lando's whines were getting louder by the stroke.

"Love, please I can't hold much longer." He gasped. "Patience baby boy. If you wanted me to get you off, all you had to do was ask. You didn't have to let some bimbo feel you up." You looked up at him with a pout, taunting him. "Baby, I swear, I didn't know she was flirting with me. I got all excited about Wario. Please ba- Fuck" You took all of him in. You bobbed your head. You could sense he was getting close. You pulled him out and kitten licked his slit, almost sending him to oblivion.

His moans were turning into borderline screams. Lando was no stranger to being loud in bed but being loud in public was a new thing. You smirked as he gripped your hair. "Shit Y/N I'm gonna cum. Please let me cum in your mouth baby. Fuckin' hell." He didn't have to tell you twice. You continued sucking him till he came in you. Your mouth filled with his seed and you swallowed every single drop. He looked like a fucking Greek God from your point of view, all flushed and innocent.

He pulled out of you and helped you up. You kissed him softly. He smiled against your lips. "It's cute when you get jealous baby." He mumbled. "I wasn't jealous. I was being territorial, there's a difference." You rolled your eyes. "Admit it you have the hots for me" He giggled. "Well unfortunately I have a lifetime of hots for you." You smiled lifting your left hand as the sun shone on your ring finger making the diamond glisten.

[shushmal]

I think all the time about Robin just lighting up like a forest fire when Steve admits he’s in love with Eddie. She is so ready to roast his crush, she is vibrating through the supportive friend phase, she is coming up with DEVASTATING insults. Muppet Tammy Thompson has NOTHING on what she’s about to call Eddie Munson.

Eddie, innocent and oblivious to all of this, shivers with dread for unknown reasons from all the way across town.

[mj0702]

“I want Keira” you whined for the umpteenth time in 10 minutes

“You told me you wanna play Uno 12 minutes ago” Tooney said confused and annoyed

“But you’re no challenge… you always lose… even Rach is a bigger challenge and she doesn’t even know the rules” you shot back

“It’s not me fault that you always shuffle the cards wrong!!” Ella exclaimed

“YOU shuffle the cards Muppet” you launched yourself at your friend

“Yeah well you have some kind of weird exorcist power so I automatically give you the good cards” Tooney huffed at the impact of your small frame

“I want Keira” you whined again trying to get your point across

“I GOT it the first 500 times… let me call her” Ella rolled her eyes fishing her phone off the bedside table

“She’s not answering… you know her room number?” Tooney asked a minute later

“308” you immediately answered already jumping up grabbing your crutches

“Wait…” Ella jumped up as well not even bothering putting on shoes as you were already out the door “… Lucy will kill me if there’s a hair out of place on you”

Both of you got down the corridor when Tooney heard it – an unmistakable moaned “Fuck”

“Uh… y/n… I think… I… let’s go play some darts eh… come on… this way” Ella said white as a wall pulling you a little trying to get you into the other direction

“I don’t wanna play darts… wanna sleep with Keira” you whined again totally oblivious to what’s happening

“Lucy does that already” Tooney mumbled under her breath before she spoke to you “… then… pool? I know you love swimming… Keira always says you’re a little Dolphin… come on… it’ll do your knee some good”

And she heard it again… a moan…

“Or hey… let’s go… Subways… my treat… whatever you wanna eat… I’ll pay” Tooney tried to get you as far away from the adult stuff that’s obviously happening in room 308

“What’s going on here? Why are you two standing in the corridor at 10PM discussing Subways” Tooney and you visibly flinched at Ellen Whites voice behind you

“Hi Aunt E…” you said carefully but your voice showing guilt

“Don’t “Hi Aunt E” me… answers… now” Ellen said crossing her arm

“I’m tired and want to sleep at Keiras but Tooney won’t let me” you pouted throwing your friend right under the bus

“For heavens sakes… I know you’re new but when the little Bronze wants her second mother you deliver her and go your merry way” Ellen rolled her eyes motioning for you to hobble on

“It’s… not that.. “ Tooney tries to explain without explaining

“Then why are we having this discussion at…” Ellen quickly checked her watch “… 10.09 at night in the middle of a corridor?”

“Keira is…” Ella tried to find the right word “… occupied”

“Occupied?” the Lioness captain looked at her confused

“Occupied” Tooney said looking Ellen straight in the eye trying to communicate non-verbal

“Oh… OH” Ellen finally caught on a dirty smirk appearing on her face “… go on… deliver your disabled package to its rightful owner”

“Please don’t make me… I’ll carry your bags for the rest of camp AND clean up after training” Ella whined pitifully

“Oh no… I wanna witness that… on second thought… BB wait!!!” Ellen called after you

“Oh thank God” Tooney sighed out relieved when she saw Ellen pulling out her phone

“Oy Jill… wanna come on 3rd floor and witness something hilarious?” Ellen spoke into the phone “… yep… we’re gonna wait”

“You… you… no… please” Ella whined

“Oh can’t let Jill miss that” Ellen smirked and right on clue Jill Scott came sprinting out of the Stairway

“I’m here… I’m here… what am I about to witness???” the older woman asked panting

“Dear Tooney here has to deliver your smooch to her second mother… who’s with her first mother.. they’re having adult time” Ellen broke it down to her teammate which made Jill burst out laughing

“Go on Rookie… own your place on the team… interrupt Lucys fun time” Jill pushed Ella forward who had a painful look on her face

“What took you so long?” you grumbled at Tooney when she finally made it over to you

“Just some… organizing stuff with the captain” Tooney mumbled back and as she was about to knock she heard a squeal which made her turn to Ellen and Jill with a horrified look “I’m not doing it”

“You don’t have to… Lucy is doing it already” Jill howled in laughter

“Okay Toons… you can do it… you won’t be the laughing stock of the team” Ella mumbled to herself before she quickly knocked three times

There was some swearing and shuffling behind the door before Lucy ripped the door open

“WHAT?!” the defender asked obviously pissed off

“She… ehrm… she… your sister…” Ella stammered her eyes trained on the floor her head hung low like a kicked puppy

“What?” Lucy asked her voice still harsh

“She ehrm… she wanted to… yeah… oh my god” Tooney started again lifting her head again spotting the bulge in the grey sweatpants which caused Ellen and Jill breaking down laughing

“Tooney” your sister snapped her fingers in front of her young teammates face “What. Is. It???”

“ShewantstosleepatKeirasandyoursanditriedtogethertosomewhereelsebutshedidn'twantto” Ella quickly rambled looking at the wall besides Lucys head while she could hear a defeated groan from inside

“Come here Bitsy” Keira called out

“Keira” you happily exclaimed crutching past your sister

“You understood what she said??” Lucy looked at her girlfriend confused

“I did…” Tooney heard Keira say and then some more shuffling “… Bitsy your knee”

“Thanks for delivering her…” your sister grumbled pinching the bridge of her nose when she saw how you flopped down next to a (very) naked Keira who was covered by a thin blanket

“No problem” Tooney says quickly turning around speed walking down the corridor past Ellen and Jill who where laying on the ground crying in laughter

“OH TOONEY!! ICE CREAM NORMALLY DOES THE TRICK!!” Lucy yelled after the young player

“Ice cream???!!” you perked up next to Keira and Lucy groaned defeated

[bruciemilf]

I just watched some chaotic moments from The Great British Bake Off and I desperately, desperately want a cooking competition AU where Bruce is just this little agent of adorable chaos

It still takes place during the pandemic, so the contestants must bake from their own kitchens. If course, formalities aside, this is national television and people still want to look their best.

Bruce? He shows up in his fancy little robe with a Nirvana shirt under, hair a bird's nest from taking a clinical nap, but somehow still fluffy, some smudged eyeliner still drying under his eyes. The very definition of a hot mess.

Alfred is clearly seen face-palming behind him and Bruce is very oblivious to it. He's just fighting for his life trying to smear frosting on his little cupcakes.

The cupcakes are literally melting in his hands and he's like " That's good enough, isn't it?"

" No, you fuckin' muppet--"

" Mr. Pennyworth, no swearing please"

" Oh I'm sorry. What's next, forbid me from breathing?"

Bruce is such a spoiled brat and everyone has such a good time watching him pout at Alfred to do the work for him. Sometimes the judges just fail him to watch him pout and throw a little tantrum

Of course, little Dick Grayson is there to help (read: Make things harder for Bruce) as much as he can.

Which includes napping on his dad's shoulder, occasionally waking up when Bruce needs a taste tester. Bruce makes the news all because his little sweetheart eating cake from his hand half asleep

Bruce and Alfred have a bigger challenge; Trying to hide Batman.

[Bat screeching from the cave]

Bruce, looking straight to the camera: Ignore that

[anonymouspuzzler]

"this is just fanart" disclaimer cause I feel the need to make that super obvious now LMAO, but! little WH doodles from recent!

[Image IDs/transcripts under cut!]

[Image 1 ID: A black-and-white Welcome Home fan-comic. It stars Julie Joyful (a "rainbow monster" puppet that looks like a Muppet girl with noodly limbs, little nub horns, and long hair styled in a high ponytail, wearing a dress with a hoop skirt and puffy sleeves and a scarf tied in a bow), Frank Frankly (a puppet with a long, cylindrical body, long nose, thick eyebrows, black hair with a middle part, and a comically exaggerated frown, wearing a plaid vest and butterfly-shaped bow-tie), and Eddie Dear (a mailman puppet with a heavyset-yet-soft build, square jaw, thick eyebrows and long eyelashes, wearing a mailman's uniform with a parcel bag and rainbow tie).

The first panel shows Julie and Frank talking, with Frank's back to the viewer. Julie, smiling smugly and gesturing with one pointer finger and the other hand on her hip, says "If I run and jump at Eddie, he will surely catch me in his arms!" Frank replies simply, "Don't do that."

The second panel shows Eddie walking in, carrying a stack of packages in his left arm and holding up several letters in his right hand. He shouts "Mail call here f-Oh No", interrupting himself with a shocked smile as Julie runs towards him flapping her arms, screaming "EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE CATCH ME EDDIE C'MON QUICK EDDIE CATCH EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE EDDIE". Frank, back still to the viewer, watches with shock with his hands raised in the air.

The third panel shows Eddie having indeed caught Julie, holding her up with both arms and an anxious expression. The packages he was holding have all fallen to the ground around him, and several of the envelopes are still fluttering to the ground. Julie is completely oblivious to Eddie's distressed, kicking her legs in the air excitedly, cradling Eddie's face with one hand and waving to Frank with the other. Frank watches in silent, stunned disbelief. End ID.]

[Image 2 ID: A colored image of Eddie Dear and Wally Darling (a smaller, yellow puppet with a large dark blue pompadour hairstyle and calm smile, wearing blue cardigan sweater over a button-up shirt, rainbow striped pants, and saddle shoes with hearts on the soles). Eddie is holding up Wally with both hands; Wally has his arms out to the sides and legs slightly bent at the knees. Both are smiling open-mouthed at each other, Wally relaxed yet warm, Eddie delighted yet slightly stunned. There are envelopes fluttering to the ground and scattered all around Eddie, with an arrow pointing to him reading "dropped all the mail". End ID.]

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 1

(if anyone knows how to make gifs 🥺 please help me out until then it's shitty screenshot summer)

Alex: "I'm gonna say... 400,000."

Logan: "I'm gonna say 430,000”

ok cool let's introduce the WHOLE DYNAMIC of this episode in one still, shall we? alex is looking directly into the camera pondering the shit out of this question, and *this is logan's face*. look at that. look at that fucking smirk. alex is like "you know what? i'm going to get this question right" and logan is like "you know what? i'm gonna use the oldest trick in the pick-a-number-1-through-10 book and i'm gonna WATCH you get annoyed with me and i'm gonna love every second of it." he knows what he's doing

Alex: "Oh, you're playing that game, are you? Just gonna go a bit above?"

Logan: *smoothest fucking wink i've ever seen* *the fucking TONGUE CLICK*

ok WHAT. how am i supposed to handle this i– let's start with the fact that even before logan gave his answer he's leaning back, head cocked, gazing at alex ✨like that✨ practically about to do the arm-around-the-shoulder-thing **before** because he knows exactly how alex is going to react. that fucking wink he had that planned from the beginning. even before alex phrased it like "oh, you're playing that game, are you?" which WOAH BRAT TAMER ALEX DID NOT SEE THAT COMING and jesus christ i feel like i'm intruding on something. this doesn't even feel like ao3 this feels like the beginning of a shit 2k word wattpad draft but no this actually happened

Alex (after guessing exactly 1 less than Logan's and getting it right): "Yes!"

Logan (sunshine smile): "You're a donut..."

okay so apparently alex’s reaction to being called a donut 🍩 is that smile and leaning into logan for the first time in the video and giggling and idk fucking blushing like what kind of degradation kink is this... like i'm sorry i love you landoscar but "you freaking muppet! you got all the hangers!" will need to step aside for whatever is going on here

need i remind you this is ALEX'S reaction to kph. logan brought the k in there first guys leave your what the fuck is a kilometer bit behind ok!!! (i'll find this eventually but logan answering that question on "wrong answers only" with "i'm gonna answer this correctly. it's 1.6 to a mile" is the hottest thing i've ever seen)

aaaaaand here we go end of the video. DO I NEED TO DO A SIDE BY SIDE COMPARISON OR WHAT actually–

alright that's the best you're gonna get with preview. but LET'S BREAK IT DOWN. so we go from logan doing literally all of the talking, all of the video introduction and explaining the activity, and alex even with his whole "oooh ray of sunshine" image clearly thinks this is stupid, he even makes little sarcastic hand gestures when logan describes it. and even right in the beginning he's not looking at the camera he looks like an adhd kid sat next to the window (come on alex look alive). but THREE MINUTES of an admittedly stupid game he's done a total 180, smiling and laughing and literally that wasn't that funny but now i'm gonna laugh because you're the one who said it and leaning in to read the cards for the first time and- well logan is mostly unchanged. from the first question he decided his main task for this video was literally just to check out his teammate at point blank range with his emotions very very clear on his face (alex is OBLIVIOUS af but then again he did pull out the "oh you're playing that game are you?" and i was NOT ready for that so who knows)

ok so episode 1 is very much a warmup for the rest of the series i know that. obviously this isn't the "reaching stratospheric levels of homoeroticism that actually leave a wake of collateral damage to all compulsory heterosexuality in a 50 m radius" as charlos but holy shit it's a lot more obvious than i thought!!!

episode 2

[beanghostprincess]

Headcanon that Buggy in calmness is probably very gorgeous, it's just that he emotes like a muppet and everyone is put off by muppet emotions...and then the pretty boy Buggy sneaks up on them and they stare gobsmacked in the distance like "oh no the clown is pretty, I must guard this truth till death", which is probably why Shanks is seething,screaming, crying whenever Buggy gets new allies...he can't have more rivals in love for Buggy, he needs everyone to stay firmly in the "muppet clown man" stage of knowing Buggy...Mihawk calls him up at 3 in the morning, post realisation, says "I get it now" down the receiver and hangs up before Shanks is even awake enough to comprehend it and when he does he goes to wake up Benn to beg him to sail off to Karai Bari to stop Mihawk and Crocodile from seducing his clown. Benn doesn't care about it, Shanks is just lucky cause Croc and Hawk are shit at flirting and Buggy is oblivious to being attractive

Shanks doing everything he can so people think Buggy isn't gorgeous is extremely hilarious to me, thank you. He noticed he was pretty when they were kids (because he didn't only see him calm, but truly happy back then) and he's been keeping it to himself selfishly because he really, really wants Buggy's beauty to stay between them. Jealouse dumbass in love. When Mihawk calls, I'm sure he just does that to inform Shanks but there's this layer of competition and making him know he's gonna flirt with Buggy that I love. Shanks crying sobbing and telling Benn to go to Karai Bari is the most real thing in the world but it's just so funny because, when he actually gets there, he'll find Mihawk and Crocodile trying to win Buggy's heart while Buggy genuinely thinks they hate him (<- oblivious clown).

[nyoomfruits]

-hugging and absentmindedly kissing their neck, resulting in mortification for one of them

Feels like a very lando move but leave it to you 🤔 Maybe he does it to the third then to try even it out/play it off but that makes it much worse or.... better 🤷‍♀️

hugging and absentmindedly kissing their neck, resulting in mortification for one of them

Max and Lando have really only been dating, officially dating dating, for roughly four months when Lando already manages to fuck it up.

In his defense, things have gotten a little… confusing, since they started dating. Or well, they probably got confusing long before that, back when Lando and Oscar first became teammates. See, Oscar and Max already knew each other. So it wasn’t weird for Oscar to join them, whenever Max was at a race.

Oscar and him were becoming closer and closer anyway, so really. It made sense. All of his best friends neatly packaged into one little bundle. Never having to choose between one or the other. It was ideal.

But then Max kissed him, right after his win in Miami, in a crowded club where no one would see, no one would care, and suddenly everything changed.

Except for Oscar. Oscar was still there. He offered, sometimes, to give them some free time, just the two of them, but Max and Lando always denied him. It had always been the three of them, why should that suddenly stop now?

Although Lando is starting to realize there’s a very good reason why. That maybe. Should have stopped.

The reason, and the way he fucks it up, all boils down to this.

They’re in Oscar’s room, curled up on the giant double bed, playing Mario Kart. Lando’s wedged in the middle, because he runs the coldest, and he’s the only one currently not playing, instead half snoozing on Max’s shoulder.

“Get blue shelled, bitch!” Max exclaims loudly, and Oscar lets out a quiet ‘noooo’, as something explodes on the screen, and the shoulder Lando is snoozing on gets slightly jostled.

“Yay, go you babe,” Lando mumbles, leans up to press a kiss to Max’s cheek that instead ends up somewhere on his neck.

The room goes quiet. “Thanks,” Max says, then. “But that’s Oscar.”

Lando’s eyes fly open, and he abruptly sits up only to find out the shoulder he had been snoozing on, the shoulder he was sure belonged to Max, was indeed, actually Oscar. “Oh my god,” he says, slightly mortified.

Oscar, meanwhile, is a truly delightful shade of read. “’S okay,” he says, quietly.

“About time, really,” Max says, the only one who seems completely unfazed by the whole thing. “Now scoot over, it’s my turn.”

“What?” Lando says, eyes wide, staring from Oscar to Max back to Oscar back to Max.

“Kissing Oscar, you Muppet,” Max says. “Thought we���d never get here.”

“Get where,” Lando stresses, as Oscar mumbles, “Uh, what’s happening?”

It’s Max’s turn to stare at them a little confused. “Us three? As like, a thing? I mean, that’s where we’ve been heading this whole time, right?”

“Have we?” Lando asks, genuinely confused, as Oscar says, “Oh my god.”

“Oh great,” Max says, rolling his eyes. “They’re both oblivious.”

“I’m not, I’m just. Me?” Oscar asks. He’s still quite pink in the face, and looking a little lost, all things together. For someone who is usually pretty unflappable he looks very. Flapped.

“You know, now I think about it,” Lando says. “It makes sense. Remember that dinner last week?”

“Where you kept saying you felt like something was missing but you couldn’t pinpoint what exactly,” Max says, a little dryly. “Yes.”

“Huh,” Lando says, as Oscar repeats another, “Oh my god.”

“What about you, Osc,” Lando says, turning to Oscar. “You in?”

“What? It can’t be. That’s not how you ask someone,” Oscar says, a little flustered.

“Ah, yes, sorry, excuse me,” Lando says, clears his throat. “My dearest darlingest Oscar. Would you be so kind as to kiss the living daylights out of us and hold our hands and go get pizza with us for maybe forever, if you so please.”

“Oh my god,” Oscar says, again.

Max shrugs. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he says, and surges over Lando to finally kiss Oscar, too.

[palettepainter]

Next up on the Zootowski family tree, and whose designs I made ages ago, Liv's parents!~

In hindsight, I think it would have made the MOST sense for me to post the designs for Liv's parents first given how popular Liv is (she's basically my main muppet OC), but my inspiration and love for Camilla won me over so these guys got put on the back burner until I could finish up the bonus drawings!

Small facts:

-Her parents names are Felix and Emily Grayson, with Felix being on the Zootowski family tree. Felix runs a small technician business (how Liv became a technician in the first place, Felix offered her some work experience once she was old enough) and Emily is a florist

-They dated in school. Felix was the chief of the badminton team and Emily was the champion of the girls swim team. Out of the two, Emily is more chatty, so she was the one to make the first move and ask out Felix

-While Felix isn't antisocial or shy, he's not overly social either. His anxiety wasn't as bad as his daughters when he was in school, but it did hold him back from pursuing music. He was in the school band for a short time on the clarinet, but dropped out after his first year

-Aside from badminton and music, Felix also enjoys mystery themed books and movies, astrology and nature (bugs specifically). He's very good at drawing realistic insects thanks to how much of a nerd he is. Emily enjoys gardening, textiles and glass work, she attends art classes on the weekend with some of her friends from the florist shop

-Felix has a business handshake that can crack walnuts

-Felix is older than Carlos but is just a tad shorter. When Carlos first started to grow taller then him during his later teen years he was unashamedly smug about it, and still is to this day. Alas, Carlos is immune to Felix's deadpanned reminders that he's the younger one out of the two

-Growing up Zoot was the closest relative that lived nearby, so Zoot was Liv's babysitter when she was a kid....Sadly, most of the time this ended up with Zoot misplacing his teenie, oblivious cousin, on accident of course! Thankfully Liv doesn't remember any of those times (Purple OC in the last drawing belongs to @posies-and-bundles)

[karlachismylife]

Temptation When I Look At You

Oh boy this actually was a struggle... I actually don't know why, because this is like the most Gaz response ever, but the situation and setting just weren't coming to me at all? I was actually so surprised that I couldn't think of at least ONE situation where this exchange could happen. Maybe because it just seems too single-track? Anyway, I don't feel like this is good, which is a great pity, cuz I wanted to do more Gaz :( But I hope it finds its enjoyers. I still put a lot of love for the pretty trixter boy into this. Might be self-indulgent and thus annoying... and honestly there's not much Kyle here... yeah, I'm just insecure about this one, but it is what it is, definitely couldn't do a better one. Next time maybe? And it somehow ended up being longer that Ghost's... I don't know what I'm doing.

CW: gn!reader, reader is bad with social cues (author is too and it probably shows), fluffy pining and awkward flirting for the pretty boy Kyle.

(Title from "Temptaion" by The Flirts)

also no it's not horny but i gave up on searching for an Elliot gif where he's not naked and accepted my fate

Not being good at flirting and reading it has never actually been that much of a problem for you. Sure, you've had your awkward moments, some downright embarassing, some midnight realizations a week later (ah so THAT'S what they wanted from me!) - but overall, it's not that bad. You're not completely oblivious and you can flirt back and forth, you can more or less tell someone's showing interest in you - or show it back. That has always been good enough for you.

Until you saw him.

You're not sure what it is about this guy in particular - yes, he is very, very handsome, but looks alone aren't usually enough to make you feel that enigmatic pull in your chest and the need to try and talk to the person that makes you feel this way. As you watch him across the tables of this fun boardgame event you came to with your friends, you feel more and more charmed. You can't even hear his voice as he talks to his game opponents from here, so it's not that either.

He just has an aura. A cheezy romantic film protagonist aura. The one the audience can't help but fall in love with and root for - the kind, noble, attentive, caring, respectful, charismatic, funny and cheeky modern knight aura.

You relay that all to your friends and they all turn around to look at the guy - they couldn't be more synchronized if they tried, and you facepalm hard, because you didn't even want to make a big deal out of it, but now of course he'll notice.

The thing is, you're perfecrly happy just basking in this sweet, slightly dizzifying feeling of this movie-character bloke's presense. It feels good, puts you in a dreamy state, and you don't need more - after all, this is just a vibe you mostly created in your head. Trying to get closer to the person probably will only destroy it since he's most definitely not a movie character. Why even burden a man with some expectations and ruin your own fun?

"Wanna go talk to him?" Right. Your friends aren't in on your inner peace with never getting to know the stranger you were so quick to idolize. One of them even motions with their head in the direction of the man, and if he somehow missed the little swan ballet your favourite muppets were showing earlier staring at him, he definitely notices the gesture now.

Curious brown eyes snap up, immediately locking with yours, and an absolutely charming, too sweet to be just polite, smile stretches on his full lips before he seemingly goes back to explaining something about a game card his rowdy-looking playmate is holding.

Damn, he really isn't helping you to shake the heart-shaped pink glasses off, is he?

"No," you can barely tear you eyes away, but you still see one of your friends blatantly grabbing your cards and going through them. The cards that are supposed to be your closed hand. "I'll be doing movie stuff tonight. Always wanted to try."

"What do you mean, "movie stuff"? Gonna ram into him holding a stack of papers hoping he'll help you pick them up?" Another friend does you a service and yanks your cards from the thief's hand, putting them back in front of you - not before looking at them, of course. Unbearable.

"Kinda, yeah. I mean, not that, but you know... stare at him, then look away as he notices... what else is there?" You sigh and put your cards back into the deck, exchanging them for a new hand. "I just wanna see if it actually reads in real life. What, you were never interested in how they manage to realize they're attracted to each other before exchanging a single word in the movies?!"

Several pairs of eyes blink at you silently, and you realize you asked the wrong people.

"The only movies I watch are fucking nature documentaries, babe, they use their noses and mating calls to figure this shit out."

"It's movie magic, normal people talk to each other, exchange numbers and then go on three awkward dates to leave with another girl from the third one."

"Why don't you just start going out with girls already-"

"But WHAT IF I'm not into them?"

"You made us watch six Resident Evil films just because they had Milla Jovovich in them, I'm pretty sure..."

You tune out in the middle of your friends' loving banter and find yourself shuffling the deck for too long as you stare at the victim of your affections. He's laughing and you can make the sound out as he pats his big buddy with a mohawk on the shoulder.

When he catches you looking again, you shift your eyes automaticly. Huh. Looks like you started your little game already. There's really no harm in trying to see how this movie magic holds up in real life, right? You're ready for your plan to lead nowhere. You're here for fun.

That's how you quickly realize just how bad you're actually at this. Watching him and hiding your eyes with a smile that actually lifts the corners of your lips naturally is not that hard, even if it makes you irritatingly distracted during the game - and therefore the punching bag of the evening, but the rest of this social play is harder than any strategy you're trying to pull to get a comeback in this round. As you have to draw another heap of punishment cards, you catch your movie guy smiling again, and you smile back - only to realize that he's actually listening to his other mate's story. Kinda embarassing, but you remind yourself this isn't supposed to lead anywhere.

And you'll never see this guy again, so just bear through.

Next time he actually walks past you - to get some more plastic chips they need for their game, and you follow him with your eyes - actually appreciating his physique in the process, damn, he really is good-looking - and run your hand over your hair in what you feel like should be subtle flirty manner. He notices, eyes narrowing with that smile again, and maybe - you're not sure, and that's how you remember why you actually don't get those fucking movies - nods at you. Or maybe he just moved his head in a perfectly natural way navigating the passages between tables.

"Pathetic," offers your friend a helpful constructive criticism as always. "Honestly painful to watch."

"What's painful to watch?" Ah, and there's the last piece of your friend group, late as always, plopping down on the couch next to you after they've successfully obstructed the view of your movie prince's ass.

"See that hot guy? Grey Henley? He's a lab rat for our dear one's flirting experiment. They've been staring at each other for the last fourty minutes like we're stuck in a bad porn opening scene."

"Why don't you just go talk to him like always?.." Before your lovable I-Don't-Know-What-Clocks-Are friend even finishes, everyone at your table lets out very sarcastic "Hmm", "I wonder why", "Ooh, there we go" and "Why did no one come up with this idea, huh?". Shitheads shoving you under fire.

"Because that's not the point! I'm not trying to get anywhere, I just wanted to see if-" you're forced to hush your own heated retort as the Hot Guy passes your table again. He probably noticed that - if that barely noticeable glance with a curiously raised eyebrow is meant for you, of course, and you suddenly feel flustered.

Social experiments are hard, man.

"I don't get it, but you do you, I guess, as long as he keeps distracting you so we can rob your bank." With a groan, you grumble that they are the worst friends ever, and get your head back into the game.

For about fifteen minutes, then you find yourself locking eyes with the guy again, watching as he leans to whisper something into the Mohawk's ear keeping eye contact with you for some reason.

Something shifts inside you when you see that big guy turn and stare at you with zero subtlty and a comfusing, too intense look. He earns a slap upside his shaven head from the movie guy and sticks his big nose back into their game, but the insecutiry lingers, slowly wiping your smile off your face.

What if you're actually coming off as weird? No, worse - what if they think you're too persistent? Maybe the movie guy tried sending you hints he isn't interested and you missed them all? That actually sounds quite realistic with your lack of understanding what exactly you're doing. And now you're annoying him to the point he has to note that to his friend. And you're ruining what is probably just a fun game night he wanted to enjoy with his buddies. And- oh that's why you always preferred to be direct.

"Hey, what's wrong? Did he flip you off or something?" Your own friends - actual treasures, no matter how much you all are roasting each other - get quieter too, turning (thankfully, not all at the same time this time) to look at the guy.

"No, no, nothing like that. I just think maybe you're right, stupid idea." You exhale, feeling better after a supportive pat on your shoulder. "Well, at least I can say I tried that method too, right?"

"Experience," notes the Milla Jovovich fan with a finger raised in the air and absolutely mentor tone right before beating your card with a heavy-hitter. "You had fun and that's all that matters. Now gimmie your cards, it says I can take three of yours of my choice, cuz you sucked ass."

You get over your short moment of embarassement rather quickly once you fully focus on your game - and you even win some back, ending up second-to-last. How did the late one manage to win, you don't know.

"Another round?" As you agree, they start gathering and shuffling cards, and you glance around, noticing that the free snacks table just got toped up with a fresh pastry basket.

"I'll go grab cookies, you want some?" You take your friends' orders for all kinds of stuff and squeeze along the narrow passages to get to the desired snacks.

It's as you're topping off your plate with a little hill of cookies, brownies an cinnamon rolls that someone's dark skinned arms with grey sleeves rolled up nicely come into view, pouring tea in a thermos mug.

"What's gotten you so shy suddenly? I thought we were having fun."

Your pastry Tower of Babel crashes and tumbles almost off your plate, resembling something more like a volcano eruption aftermath than a proper construction. You don't need to guess who that voice belongs to - honestly, that effortlessly sultry, teasing, movie star timbre can only belong to one person - but you follow the steam raising from his mug and are greeted by the smiling amber eyes you've been staring into half of the evening.

"Sorry, I was just... sorry for staring, that was inappropriate. Hope you have a nice game, still." An apology is due, you think, and you really hope he accepts it. He seems like a chill dude, the kind you don't want to upset because they just don't deserve it.

He deserves to feel good and be surrounded by people that make it happen.

"Hardly inappropriate, but thanks for the apology," he chuckles, and you hide your eyes in the baked ruins you're trying to fix before they fall onto the floor instead of reaching your friends. "Is that why you stopped looking? Or did you lose interest and I'm being inappropriate now?"

Since when did direct approach start making you so flustered? Isn't this what you're actually used to? "This" being actually asking normal questions, not standing so close to a movie protagonist that smells even better than all the fresh pastry on the table in front of you - tastes better probably, too...

"What was that?" He leans closer and you're on fire like a match, in an instant. Did you just say some of that out loud? Is he laughing? No, better question, is he mocking you? Because what you hear next is... "Oh, nothing, Kyle, I just said I couldn't stop eyefucking you because I want to kiss you so bad. Well, then ask me nicely for a kiss, pretty. After I take you out and learn your name."

And just like that, the scene ends, with the charmer back at his table and a piece of paper with his number on top of your crumbling cookie architecture.

Handwritten. Just for you. From Kyle.

"Did you really have to flirt with him over my brownies?" You don't really remember how you got back to your friends. Your cookies getting split between everyone as a tax for you taking too long.

"Props to the guy for saving you from yourself, honestly." Thermos cap filled with tea lands into your hand, the other occupied with the phone number. Finally, you blink, glancing over to Kyle's table - he winks at you, eyes crinkling. Not so subtle.

"Guys, you know, worst part is, I still don't get how this movie shit works..."

[earlgraytay]

I'm having a certain amount of weird cognitive dissonance about partycoffin's Welcome Home (not tagging them because this is kinda speculation...)

I normally absolutely loathe the "the cute thing was EVIL ALL ALONG" genre, especially with Muppety puppets. I have a very strong squick about it. The Henson Workshop was one of baby's first hyperfixations, and The Dark Crystal is so important to me that it's hard to describe how without invoking religion.

... It's important to me, for these reasons, that the Muppets, especially the Sesame Street crew, are... innocent. Not in a Calvinist way, in an ... autistic hippie way. They're joyfully weird. They're not cruel for cruelty's sake. Some of the Muppets are grumpy and mean because it's what they were made to be, but they're not...

Look, it's hard to explain, but there's a very specific kind of Mean Comedy that, before Henson's death, the Muppets just did not do. Even Statler and Waldorf's heckling doesn't push that button for me. The Muppets shouldn't be capable of that kind of interpersonal cruelty. And that's important enough to me that I can't watch something like Avenue Q (much less Actual Puppet Horror) without getting sick to my stomach.

But *thus far*, the horror elements of Welcome Home haven't gotten to me in the same way. And I think it's because... Clown respects that aspect of the children's puppet genre?

Like, I know we're still in early days, and That One Fucking Picture Of Maisie freaks me the fuck out (for, uh, different reasons). But so far, it seems like at least part of the horror aspect... Is that innocence, and how it can't survive contact with humanity.

So far, at least in the newest version of WH, we've seen very little to indicate that the Home crew's joy and innocence aren't genuine. Everyone has Depths to their character, obviously, that can't be plumbed without going into the Gruesome Shit. But like.... with the possible exception of Wally, they don't seem Cruel. Fuck, even Wally seems Oblivious and Earnest, just... willing to do horrible things for the sake of Keeping Home Intact.

And that LACK of malice is ironically where the horror comes in! Because the sunny days of a kids' puppet show can't survive contact with a reality where people are cruel and ableist and homophobic, and once the show ends, there's nothing left but that reality... and everything falls apart.

Agh, I don't know. I might have to drop this fandom if I get that button pushed too many times. But for now, it's interesting to see an adult take on the genre that isn't gleefully mean and disrespectful towards one of the things I love about puppets.

[pigfacedbitch]

Comfort

summary : what would your boyfriend do if you had a bad day at work/school?

word count : 0.7k

type : headcanons

pairing/s : Modern! Gwaine / Merlin / Arthur (Soldier, Poet, King😂) x Reader

warning/s : asshole bosses / professors lol

here is my masterlist!

Note : Why is life so tiring? Sometimes, I just want to lay down and sleep. Slight NSFW on Gwaine's part .

Gwaine

Gwaine is evidently high-spirited but pouts like a kicked puppy when he sees you sad.

He may be a little unfamiliar with comforting someone but he knows that having fun can revive someone's soul so as a way to comfort you, he will offer a night of distraction and pleasure (I know what you're thinking and yes, you are right 👀).

From here, it depends on what you want to do. Gwaine will enthusiastically go with the flow.

You want to stay at home and play games? He will gladly lose to monopoly, uno, scrabbles, or any board games you want to play.

Gwaine is also a reliable player two in online games and will shout with you when another player is performing poorly.

"How can you miss that shot?!"

"What my love said, you muppet!"

Want to watch a movie? A pillow fort with your favorite movies, snacks, and soda coming right up!

Warning though, if you want to go out and party, don't. As loveable as he is, Gwaine is a party animal who has little self-control. He WILL get drunk before you and you have no choice but to drag his ass back to your home.

Last possible activity? Doing the deed. Might fuck the stress and sadness out of you until all you can remember is how good he made you feel, just saying. Anyways, enjoy! 😚

Merlin

This sweet baby boy will serve you like a queen, no joke.

Merlin will immediately know you had a bad day as he welcomes you in your shared home, already wrapping his (big and strong🫢) arms around your tired body.

He won't say a word but you'll know that he offers comfort by how tight his hug is, slowly soothing your hair, and gently kissing parts of your face.

"What's wrong, love?"

And boom! Here comes the waterworks. He will let you cry and vent as he leads the two of you on the sofa, lying comfortably there until you are done.

You might even take a short nap. Merlin doesn't care if you covered him with tears, drool, or snot; as long you feel better.

He will wake you up with your favorite home-cooked meal prepared on the table then taking you to the bathroom for a relaxing bath.

There would be scented candles, bath bombs, mellow music, skin care products— the whole nine yards. And no, you don't have to move. Merlin will do everything for you unless you want otherwise.

He will give you a massage on the bed after that, saying words of encouragement and support.

If you ask him to use his magic, he will. He will show you anything you want; from the wonders of the world to the vast beauty of the cosmos.

He hates using his magical abilities on you but as you fall asleep in his arms that night, he whispers a spell that will surely give you good dreams and an even better sleep.

Arthur

Let's face it, Arthur can be... oblivious at times.

Unlike Merlin and Gwaine, it will take a little longer for him to realize you feel like shit.

The Pendragons are very wealthy, and it sometimes compensates for the other qualities they lack.

He may not be as cheerful as Gwaine or provide you a satisfactory service like Merlin, but he can give you anything you want.

You want to go to another country? The private jet is ready. You don't even have to pack a bag, Arthur will buy new clothes for you.

He will let you choose the hotel you'll be staying in and book all the activities you want to do such as tours in the wildlife, scuba diving, spa days, and many more.

You want comfort food? The best chef in Albion will be brought to your home at once, paid heavily to cook whatever food you fancy.

You want materials things, jewelries and dresses? Even stationery? You got it. Arthur doesn't care how much you spend, he's practically your sugar daddy. 😂

If you just want him by your side, he will let you hug him like a koala bear to a tree and listen to your complains.

However, watch your words or the people you mention. Because Arthur will see to it that they will be dealt with, money comes with influence after all.

"So that's why they are being overly nice to me!"

"No one messes with the love of my life."

[wordy-little-witch]

Hiiii thanks for answering my moment-of-weakness-at-2am-ish ask lmao

Sooo u said that u have lots of thoughts abt accidental rizz buggy,, and in p sure that the marines wer the tip of the iceberg... can we pls have more of ur ideas abt it?🥣😳🙏 im brainrotting but its vague scenarios that i cannot put into words aaaa writing is hard

Do u have ideas abt him rizzing the pirate populace? Or him doing circus tricks that are also hot,, like teaching some of his crew some acts while in a hot practice outfit,, like im talking about those tight but stretchy turtle necks and long gloves that almost reaches the shoulders also paired with loose pants but his ass still looks good in it, with them bare leg socks(the ones that show his toes n heel) and him taking his lectures seriously and oblivious to his crew just looking (dis)respectfully and having brain empty,, kinda like nightwing teaching gymnastics to women (i wish dat wer me)

Then croco and mihawk are also lowkey attending the lessons w an excuse

Or maybe abt his followers from the crew making buggy merch like pictures but they took some pics of buggy candid, pics that show more of his calmer side cuz I KNOW he pretty, he just emotes like a muppet lol,, which is then mass produced by his followers and them fanboying/girling over it, which then slowly spreads throughout the grandline n the 4 blues cuz ppl be curious abt who dat pretty blue haired pirate is then be shocked learning that its buggy the loud n flashy guy that could have a calm and soft side,,

and ppl demand more so his followers keep taking pictures of him, while buggy is oblivious to the fact that the pics are being distributed/selling,, then someone took notice of stonks rising that someone being crocodile and is somewhat surprised yet not surprised abt the public wanting more pics and then capitalized on this,, then croco is now making buggy have photoshoots but it gets thirst trappy, and now croco n the others in the set are also thirstier than the alabasta desert lollll, buggy still remains oblivious thinking that doing this for morale lolol

so now buggy has amassed a huge following by accident and the public gets even more thirstier because of the thirst trap photos,, and shanks be on his knees and jelly that so many ppl are thirsting after his buggy, and then ransacked a ship carrying the buggy pics n merch and had added it to his buggy room, which is a room full of buggy merch n pics lmao,, the red force r exasperated at first but then took a look at the pictures and they kinda understand their captain now lolll

And buggy still remains oblivious,, maybe until he decides to sail to an island and instead of ppl being kind of wary yet accepting due to his charisma,, he'll be bombarded with ppl carrying his (maybe thirsty) photos/posters asking for gis autograph,, and he be so shocked n confused but hes still a performer at heart so he fakes smiles thanks the crowd of ppl and signs the posters,,, Then suddenly he goes back to crossguild n asks them about it and is pissed at the fact that he couldve made more money in his knowledge lololol

dats all i have for now thank u for reading dis long ass ask :D

YES omfg just all the yes

Some general headcanons here on my end, but Buggy is STRONG okay, both bc of his circus skills, knife fighting and devil fruit. He just isn't Full Six Pack Washboard Abs. He's got a little curve. A layer of cuddly softness. HEALTHY muscle.

So he absolutely has a multi-faceted fan club of pirates, civilians, marines, alike. Some love the soft prettiness. Some like the fierce candid shots. Some are absolutely FERAL over casual competence.

Buggy regularly has cross training classes, I bet. He's a bit of a jack of all trades, and so he's got some skill in all sorts of topics that are useful. Piracy and circus performing are a lot more alike than a lot of people think, after all. He arranges classes and stuff to make sure everyone has some sort of transferable skill.

It's not HIS fault that he has his hair up for practicality, a sleeveless leotard and high waited capris. He's dressed for class, that's all.

If he does catch anyone staring, he bristles, taking it the wrong way.

Later on down the line, all of the sudden realizations that people are making MONEY, off of pictures from HIM hit him like a sack of bricks, and he rushes to his sassy besties, just "Gal, Vida. Am I pretty??? Like seriously, AM i????"

A: "No." / G: "Yes."

B: "................... a h."

The candid shots become photoshoots, become thirst traps, become eventual pin ups after Mihawk and Crocodile get Inspired. Buggy has the range to play the masc and femme with ease, and he's surprisingly photogenic.

Bonus: an entire line of Buggy Body Pillows with extra padding in the butt. ((Shanks owns several))