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charliemwrites · 19 days ago

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Hiiiii! So I’m not super thrilled with this but I’ve been having a time of it at work so I worked on this when I could 🙃

Not sure if there will be a second part yet tbh we’ll see!

Edit: almost forgot to add that the gorgeous divider below is by @gildui they have some absolutely beautiful cod themed dividers.

Carrion

Reader comes back Wrong

Content: implied/referenced torture, injury, suicide reference/implicated “pact” (by background character), lack of wound care

The breakup was bad.

Not in the top 3 of Simon’s worst nightmare-inducing memories - but likely top 5. He certainly wakes up chest aching and eyes burning often enough for it to be a solid contender. He’s haunted by tears that dripped like acid and the cracks in your voice deafening him.

On bad days, he thinks he can still see you shuffling down the halls, eyes sunken and red-rimmed, dark circles and chapped lips. Anger giving way to resignation giving way to pain and sadness. The rest of the team tight-lipped and wincing, no sides taken, shoulders and ears offered equally in commiseration.

Your misery wanted no company, though.

You didn’t tell Simon that you were leaving. Gaz let slip over a subdued but obligatory game of cards, you’d be gone for a long time - loaned out to Laswell.

Simon didn’t go to see you off. Didn’t ask why you were leaving or accuse you of being too immature to be on a team with him. He didn’t wish you good luck, stay safe with the rest of the team on the tarmac at 0-dark when you took off.

He should have.

Price says you’ll be gone for six months. Just six. It’s better this way, he reminds them when Johnny balks. His eyes are on Simon, though, when he adds that you need to get your head on straight, and you weren’t able to do it with them.

So. Six months.

Simon stops expecting you on his left. Stops smelling your shampoo lingering on bits of clothes he pretended not to notice you steal. He still dreams about you begging him not to push you away.

183 days come and go.

On day 184, Laswell sends word - your temporary team likes you quite a bit. They want you to stay on for one more month… one more mission… one more…

Six months turns to ten.

312 days since you left; since you were home.

The team hasn’t stopped leaving a space for you at their tables, right between Gaz and Price. You miss your own birthday. Laswell says she’ll pass along well wishes.

The situation changes. A target resurfaces. All hands on deck, including yours.

374 days. Twelve months and some change.

They don’t spend the holidays with you, but there’s a stack of presents waiting in Price’s office. Your mugs have collected dust in the back of the rec room cabinet.

Laswell says you’re still deployed on one last mission, return TBD. Soon, though.

487 days. Still TBD. Soon. Really. Just some loose ends to tie up.

561 days. There was some trouble during exfil but you’re alright. Just a bit of recovery.

You’re coming home.

590 days. You’ll land at 0700 tomorrow.

It’s been 591 days since Simon last saw you. Since any of them last saw you.

Laswell has come to deliver you personally, a kind of apology for keeping you away so long. She’s the first off the transport and you’re right behind her.

Your hair is shorter. Much, much shorter. There’s a new patch on your jacket - memento from your temporary team, Simon figures.

Apart from that, you look… almost exactly how you did when you left. Dark circles under your eyes, mouth drawn and tight. There’s invisible weight compressing your shoulders, urging them in and down. But you’re there again. Just the way he remembers.

(Why are you the way he remembers?)

“Long time, no see,” Gaz calls, reaching for you.

There’s half a beat, you blink. Hesitate.

Then you grin and reach back.

“Missed my pretty face, did you?” you reply.

Johnny laughs and brings you in for a hug. You twitch hug him back, patting his shoulder as you pull away.

“Good to have you back, Sergeant,” Price says, shaking your hand.

You turn to Simon, nod in greeting, expression pleasant. “Ghost.”

So that’s how it’ll be? Alright.

“Sergeant.”

That night, you go out for drinks with the team and Laswell. Simon goes along to show there are no hard feelings.

(Not that you seem to need reassurance. It’s not even that you’re not looking at him. You are. Whenever he speaks, the rare times he does, or if he shifts in his seat. Your gaze doesn’t linger or jerk away, you treat him like you do Johnny and Gaz and Price.)

When Johnny mixes up your usual for Price’s, you don’t even seem to notice. But Simon does.

“When did you start drinking whiskey?” he wonders.

You used to swear you’d never like it, claiming it tasted like boot polish and the “Boys Club” wasn’t worth the indigestion it gave you.

“Someone from my other team,” you say by way of explanation.

You don’t ask for another whiskey. Laswell gets the rest of your drinks for that night.

Simon turns into the rec room two days later and finds you already there. There’s only the light above the sink on, and you’re staring at the steady drip, drip, drip from the faucet. A cup of black coffee cools in your hand. You’re already wearing gloves.

“Sugar’s in the left now,” he calls.

Your head twitches, something pops in your neck.

“Oh, thanks,” you chirp, turning for the cabinet. “Sleep okay, LT?”

“‘Bout as well as I ever do,” he replies gruffly, sidling up next to you for the kettle.

You hum. There’s a yellow packet in your hand. (Didn’t you used to like the blue one?)

“I get that,” you sympathize.

He snorts. Since when?

“Do you?”

When he glances down, you’re not looking at him. Instead, you’re trying (and failing) to get the sink to stop dripping.

“You know that’s been broken for ages,” he says.

At least as long as the 141 has been around. You tried to fix it once when you first joined up, too, with no luck.

“Right,” you say. A little too quickly, a little too agreeably. “Well, anyway, enjoy your tea, Lieutenant.”

You leave the packet of sugar behind. Unopened.

You’re back and it’s like it used to be - not just before you left, but before the breakup. Before there was ever anything to break up.

Your time away seems to have given you whatever space from Simon you were hoping for, because you act like there was never anything at all.

He’s half expecting, dreading, that you’ll pull him aside at some point. Ask for a word after dinner, or swing by his room before bed. Talk about the break up now that cooler heads prevail and 19 months have sanded down the rough feelings. Seek closure, maybe.

But you don’t. The weeks pass until a month has gone and you never exchange more than easy pleasantries with Simon. You give him space, give him privacy. Things you never used to give him much of before, for better or worse.

You fool around with Gaz and Johnny, trade quips with Price, and follow Simon’s orders. Train recruits. Write reports.

You’re back, better than ever.

So why does it feel like Simon’s still waiting for you to return?

You’re always dressed now, head to toe. Day or night, rain or shine. From the neck down you’re in full sleeves, long pants, boots and gloves.

It doesn’t occur to anyone until you’re sweating through your compression shirt in the gym. Wipe your shiny forehead for the dozenth time before Johnny says, “why not just take it off?”

“It’s not that bad,” you laugh, waving him off.

When you lie down to bench press, Simon notes the bottom of your shirt tucked tight into your waistband. He exchanges a glance with Johnny - he’s seen it too.

You used to dress in shorts and sports bras during exercise, a towel over your shoulder. In the common room, you’d mill in tank-tops and boxers. Even used to trot down the hall swaddled in a towel or robe, mumbling that you forgot a razor or some other toiletry before showering.

“What, did ye get an embarrassing tattoo or somethin’?” Johnny asks finally.

You blink at him, expression bemused. “A tattoo? Why do you think I have a tattoo?”

“Yer covered up like a nun on Sunday. It cannae be comfortable.”

You snort. “Just because you’re allergic to clothes, MacTavish…”

“Allergic?! Wha’s tha’ s’posed t’mean?!”

Gaz barks a laugh. You grin and continue your workout.

Simon tries not to be disturbed by the name “MacTavish” coming off your tongue for the first time since you met.

It’s your first mission since you’ve been back. You have new gear, a new handgun. Something’s been carved into the side of the barrel in Cyrillic, Simon can’t read it. A new callsign.

(“What kind of a name is Carry-on?” Johnny teases, but he doesn’t quite hide the unease in his eyes.

You snort and lace your boots tighter. The edge of you sleeve inches up, revealing the curve of a glossy scar that wasn’t there before.

“You’re one to talk Mister Maybelline.”)

Someone painted an upside down cross on the temple of your helmet with their finger. You thumb it before stuffing it over your head.

“You ready for this?” Gaz asks, knocking his knee into yours. The two of you have been paired together for this mission. (Was it Simon’s imagination, or did you look annoyed that you would have a partner?)

“Always,” you reply.

Simon doesn’t hear what happens, but Gaz looks shellshocked when you haul him into the helicopter during exfil. You shake him a bit once everything is secure and the bird’s in the air.

“Garrick,” you shout, “c’mon, where did he get you?”

It takes him a second but he blinks, offers his arm for your inspection. You move with a speed even Simon is impressed by, tearing into the nearby med kit almost viciously. Gaz is patched up in record time and you sit back with blood on your hands, barely even seem to notice as you wipe them carelessly on your pants.

(You used to be more squeamish, weren’t you? You used to be the last one they asked for medical care because seeing your teammates in pain made you nauseous.)

“What about you?” Gaz asks after a small eternity.

You yawn. “What about me?”

“You got nicked too, didn’t you?”

Simon takes a second look at you and now that Gaz mentions it, you’re soaked in blood. Wet patches on your vest, your pants, dripping down your boots. It takes him a moment to notice the tear in your thigh, shredded flesh visible when you rock with the wind turbulence.

“Did I?” you wonder, glancing down like you only just noticed it.

Johnny curses, reaches for you - but you wave him off.

“It’s just a scratch,” you reply. “Barely even feel it, no worries.”

Then why is it still bleeding?

When the team lands, you hop off the heli without so much as a wince. Droplets of blood lead all the way back to your room.

(When Simon asks Nikolai about the hand-etching on your gun, he says the word means “promise.”)

In the after-action report, your callsign isn’t “Carry-On.” It’s Carrion.

Laswell takes you off the mission two months later, a joint assignment with KorTac. They send three operators to work with TF141 - Stiletto, Konig, and Nikto.

On the transport to infil, Simon notices the Russian inspecting his handgun in a seat separated from the rest of the squad. He recognizes the Cyrillic carved into the barrel this time: Promise.

It’s an eerie, creeping suspicion. An anxious fog rolling in.

It’s not one single thing that trips an alarm in Simon’s head, but a steady collation of oddities over months. A single arhythmic beat, a note off key. Just once or twice, but over and over until he can’t notice anything else.

You act just like yourself except for all the minute ways you don’t.

You smile big and wide, sunshine bright, when they make a good joke. Your laugh is still the same, bubbling up in your throat, head thrown back. You smell the same when you pass Simon in the hall, shampoo and soap that’s haunted him for a year and a half.

It’s insidiously subtle; he can’t pinpoint what it is for the longest time. Your mannerisms are almost too practiced, the cadence of your voice too measured. A missing turn of phrase you often used, replaced by something unfamiliar.

Simon dismisses it as guilt-laden paranoia. The two of you ended on bad terms with a year and half worth of space between. He’s hardly one to gauge what’s normal for you anymore.

And besides, the few times someone else has noticed at those tiny yet all-too-obvious inconsistencies, you shrug it off as something you picked up while away.

But he catches Johnny’s brows furrow one afternoon as you light up a cig (after swearing for years that you’d never pick up the habit) and Simon knows he’s beginning to see it too.

“You ever notice,” Gaz begins slowly. You’re the only one missing from the rec room this evening, retired with a drawn-out yawn. “That Carrion always mentions being away, but never talks about it?”

Simon stills. Johnny’s eyes fly to Price, who’s grimly tapping at his crossword puzzle.

“The file’s redacted,” he says. He’s seen it too then, tried to investigate for himself.

“That’s normal for a mission like that,” Simon reasons carefully.

“I don’t mean the mission,” Price says. “I mean Carrion’s file.”

“This is a good movie,” you mumble from the armchair you’ve stolen from Price. “What’s it called?”

Simon exchanges glances with the rest of the team. No one points out that this is (used to be?) your favorite.

Price looks into the team you were loaned out to. All were KIA or remain MIA. All but one. His file has been scrubbed too, the only documents readable are discharge orders and a PMC contract, both associated with the callsign “Nikto.”

They’re running out of time.

Less than 36 hours on the clock with only one lead, and it’s a zealot with a suicide pact. Price and Laswell both took a crack at him with nothing to show for it. Even Ghost has gotten hardly anything and he’s running out of nails. With time, he might get something useful, but they don’t have much of that left.

In the anteroom looking into interrogation, you’ve been observing through the one-way glass with your hands in your pockets, head tilted, expression serene.

Price and Laswell are discussing strategy, contingencies. Gaz and Johnny are throwing in their two cents, but Simon… Simon is watching you.

Like medical, torture used to be your Achilles. You were trained like the rest of the team, but there was never any need for you to step into the room yourself. Hell, you were a last resort even for observation or emergency resuscitation. No one blamed you for having a weak stomach for information extraction.

But today, you glance over your shoulder and make eye contact with Laswell.

“I’ll handle it,” you say with an air of finality.

The room goes silent. Price opens his mouth, but it’s Laswell that speaks, voice hard with resignation.

“Do it.”

You don’t blink. “Yes, ma’am.”

You walk out the door without a backwards glance, shoulders loose but each step steady and purposeful.

“What the hell is going on, Kate?” Price demands.

Kate sighs, looks away as you enter the interrogation room.

“Let’s do this outside. It won’t take long to get that intel.”

The only thing she’s able to share is that you and your team were captured. For a long time. And then you’re already stepping out of the interrogation room, wiping your bloodied hands off on an old rag.

There’s an unusual glint in your eye, an unnatural stillness in your expression.

“Got what we need,” you announce cheerfully.

#cod #my writing #fanfiction #reader fic #angst #reader came back Wrong #simon riley

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prokopetz · 1 year ago

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Your long and arduous journey has led you to this, the final confrontation. You thought you knew what to expect, but just as you struck the final blow, your ultimate foe's eyes gleamed with unnatural light as they proclaimed…

THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM

A game for 4–6 players

Introduction

This Isn't Even My Final Form is a GMless tactical minigame for 4–6 players. You'll take on the roles of a party of heroic adventurers nearing the end of a world-spanning quest to defeat a great evil, the Final Boss. Unfortunately for them, each time they think they've won, the Final Boss assumes a new, even more horrifying form, and the struggle begins anew. Is there any end to this conflict? There's only one way to find out!

What You'll Need

This Isn't Even My Final Form requires a dozen six-sided dice, as well as a way of keeping track of a few important numbers – a shared text document or some scrap paper will suffice.

Update 2023-10-30: Print-and-play card decks are available here:

http://penguinking.com/this-isnt-even-my-final-form/

Character Creation

Choose two of the following actions to be your Party Member's Class Actions: Strike, Heal, Buff, Debuff. If you'd rather determine this randomly, roll on the following table.

1. Strike, Heal 2. Strike, Buff 3. Strike, Debuff 4. Heal, Buff 5. Heal, Debuff 6. Buff, Debuff

Give your Party Member's Class a name which suits your Class Actions. Also give your Party Member a name; it is traditional but not obligatory for your Party Member's name to have exactly five letters.

Playing the Game

Play is divided into a series of Phases. During each Phase, one player takes on the role of the Final Boss. That player's Party Member does not participate in this Phase; they're trapped, lost, incapacitated, or otherwise separated from the party or unable to act for the duration of the Phase. All other players take on the roles of their Party Members.

The Final Boss player's first order of business is to describe what the current Phase looks like. The Final Boss player can roll 1–3 times on the following table (re-rolling duplicates) to decide on a theme, or use it as inspiration for their own theme. To use this table, roll a six-sided die twice, treating the first roll as the "tens" place and the second roll as the "ones" place, yielding a number in the range from 11 to 66.

11. Beasts 12. Bells 13. Blood 14. Bones 15. Chains 16. Chaos 21. Cubes 22. Eyes 23. Fire 24. Flowers 25. Food 26. Games 31. Gears 32. Glass 33. Gold 34. Hands 35. Holes 36. Ice 41. Iron 42. Light 43. Mazes 44. Meat 45. Mirrors 46. Music 51. Orbs 52. Order 53. Plague 54. Shadow 55. Slime 56. Space 61. Spikes 62. Teeth 63. Time 64. Trees 65. Weapons 66. Wings

Once the Phase has been defined, set the party's Momentum to zero. Momentum is a value which will increase or decrease over the course of the Phase; it has a minimum value of zero, and no particular upper limit.

Play proceeds in a series of rounds, as follows.

The Final Boss Attacks

The Final Boss always goes first in each round. Roll one die:

1–3: The Final Boss chooses one of the following actions. 4–5: The Final Boss chooses two of the following actions. You may not target the same Party Member twice; however, you may use the same action on two different Party Members if you wish. 6: The Final Boss does nothing this round. On its turn next round, it does not roll and instead uses its Ultimate Attack.

Wound: Inflict the Critical Condition on a single Party Member. If the chosen Party Member already has the Critical Condition, it's replaced with the Down Condition and the party loses one Momentum.

Imprecate: Inflict the Cursed Condition on a single Party Member.

Envenom: Inflict the Poisoned Condition on a single Party Member.

Bewilder: Inflict the Confused Condition on a single Party Member.

Counter: If you're targeted by the Strike or Debuff actions this round, after resolving that action, perform the Wound action on the Party Member who targeted you. You may counter any number of actions in this way.

Dispel: Remove the Buffed and Protected Conditions from any number of Party Members.

Enrage: The Final Boss rolls two dice and takes the better result on its next action. The party may cancel this benefit with a successful Debuff action; doing so removes the extra die instead of forcing the Final Boss to roll twice and take the lower result.

Ultimate Attack: This action can only be chosen by rolling a 6 during the previous round. When the Final Boss uses this action, choose Cursed, Poisoned, or Confused: you may perform the Wound action AND inflict the chosen Condition upon any number of Party Members, in that order. (i.e., Wound each targeted Party Member, THEN Curse/Confuse/Poison any who remain standing.)

The Final Boss player describes the outcome of the chosen action(s) in as much or as little detail as they like; control then passes to the other players.

The Party Acts

After the Final Boss has attacked, each Party Member who doesn't have the Down condition chooses one of the following actions, in any order the players wish. After choosing any action other than Defend, the player rolls their dice pool, which is a handful of six-sided dice constructed as follows:

Start with a number of dice equal to the party's current Momentum (initially zero, though it will grow over the course of the Phase)

Add one die if you're performing one of your Party Member's Class Actions

Add one die if your Party Member currently has the Buffed Condition

Add one die if your Party Member currently has the Critical Condition

Roll all of the dice together, and find the highest result. Ties for the highest result have no special significance; for example, if you rolled four dice and got 1, 3, 5 and 5, your result is 5. If you'd ever end up with zero or fewer dice for any reason – either because your dice pool was empty to begin with, or because some effect obliged you to discard every die you rolled – you receive an automatic result of 1.

If an action requires you to target a specific Party Member or make other choices, you can wait and see the result of your roll before making those decisions.

Strike: You attack the Final Boss. Roll your dice pool:

1–3: Nothing happens – either the attack misses, or the Final Boss turns out to be immune to whatever you just did. 4–5: The attack strikes true. The party gains one Momentum. 6: Critical hit! The party gains two Momentum.

Special: If you roll triples or better (i.e., at least three of the same number) on a Strike action, the Final Boss' current Phase is defeated, and you move on to the next Phase. It doesn't matter what number comes up triples.

Heal: You attempt to restore the party's strength. Roll your dice pool:

1–3: You may remove the Critical Condition from a single Party Member. If no Party Member has the Critical Condition, nothing happens. 4–5: You may remove the Critical Condition from any number of party members OR you may remove the Down Condition from a single Party Member. 6: You may remove the Critical and Down Conditions from any number of party members.

Buff: You attempt to bolster a party member. Roll your dice pool:

1–3: You may grant the Buffed Condition to a single Party Member OR remove a Condition of your choice other than Critical or Down from a single Party Member. 4–5: You may grant the Buffed Condition to a single Party Member AND remove a Condition of your choice other than Critical or Down from that Party Member, if they have one. 6: You may grant the Buffed Condition OR remove a Condition of your choice other than Critical or Down to any number of Party Members. You may choose a different option for each targeted Party Member.

Debuff: You attempt to weaken the Final Boss. Roll your dice pool:

1-3: Nothing happens – it turns out the Final Boss was immune to that effect. 4–5: The Final Boss rolls two dice and takes the lower result on its next action. 6: The Final Boss rolls two dice and takes the lower result on its next action AND the party gains one Momentum.

Defend: You may grant the Protected condition to a Party Member of your choice. Do not roll.

Based on the outcome of your roll (if applicable), describe the outcome of your action in as much or as little detail as you wish.

Once each Party Member has acted, return to "The Final Boss Attacks" to begin the next round.

Ending the Phase

As noted above, rolling triples or better on a Strike action results in the immediate defeat of the current Phase. Alternatively, if all Party Members simultaneously have the Down Condition, the Final Boss player's Party Member suddenly breaks free or arrives on the scene and rescues everyone in a stunning deus ex machina; this also ends the Phase, but does not count as defeating it.

In either case, reset the party's momentum to zero, remove all Conditions, and move on to the next Phase. The role of the Final Boss passes to a different player, with preference given to those who haven't yet had a chance to be the Final Boss; the previous Final Boss player resumes playing their Party Member.

Continue until the party has defeated a number of Phases at least equal to the number of players, or until mutual agreement has been reached that all this has gone on quite long enough.

Conditions

Some actions can impose Conditions upon the individual Party Members. Conditions can be positive or negative, and last until specific conditions for their removal are met.

Buffed: Your strength has been boosted. When rolling your dice pool, you roll one extra die.

Confused: You've lost your wits. When the party acts, your action is determined by rolling a d6 – 1: Strike; 2: Heal; 3: Buff; 4: Debuff; 5: Defend; 6: do nothing this round AND remove this Condition. This Condition is also removed if you gain the Critical Condition while under its effects. You may choose targets normally if the rolled action requires them. Confused Party Members always act before their un-Confused peers; if there are multiple Confused Party Members, the Final Boss decides the order in which they act.

Critical: You are badly wounded. Desperation lends strength, and so this Condition adds one extra die to your dice pools; however, if you suffer the Critical Condition a second time, it becomes the Down Condition instead.

Cursed: You've been afflicted with misfortune. Discard your highest result after rolling your dice pool, but before applying your chosen action's effects. If there's a tie for the highest result, discard all of them; for example, if you roll four dice while Cursed and get 1, 3, 5 and 5, your result is 3. If the Condition causes you to discard your only set of triples of better on a Strike action, the Phase does not end.

Down: You are incapacitated by injury or foul enchantment. When the party acts, you may not choose an action; your action remains lost even if this Condition is removed before the end of the round. When you gain this Condition, remove all other Conditions, and the party loses one Momentum. (This is not in addition to the Momentum loss noted by effects which inflict this Condition – those are just reminders.) You may not gain other Conditions while this one persists.

Poisoned: You're afflicted by a poison, plague, or death-curse. If you have the Poisoned Condition after resolving your action for the round, you gain the Critical Condition. If you already have the Critical Condition, you instead gain the Down Condition, and the party loses one Momentum.

Protected: The next time you would gain any Condition other than Buffed, remove this Condition instead. You also remove this Condition if you take any action other than Defend on your turn.

#gaming #tabletop roleplaying #tabletop rpgs #this isn't even my final form #game design #violence mention

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earthstellar · 1 year ago

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Earth Music on the Lost Light: Human Music That Cybertronians Like

we know for a fact that the Lost Light has access to human media, primarily movies, TV shows, and music-- and we know they generally seem to fucking love most of it, or at least find it interesting

but what would everyone's tastes be, in regards to Earth music?

time to talk about music for a long time!!! strap in, enjoy some tunes

we already know Cyclonus has impeccable taste and enjoys some of the best jams the 80s had to offer.

I can't help but imagine Rodimus being given a media archive of Earth tunes to approve for the Earth Dance would only result in chaos

(it's not like he would say no to anything, he absolutely blanket signed it all, it's just an obligatory thing-- or Ultra Magnus tells him it is, solely to keep him away from Important Captain Things that he would rather handle himself or hand off to Megatron, lmao. the shit that really needs to get done)

and this is how Rodimus discovers the somewhat questionable yet amazing genre of "mid-90s underground techno rave mix tapes"

(somewhat related, I still think Testarossa might as well be Rodimus' theme song, although it's not a 90s track and has more of an 80s synth vibe)

Rodimus would love that "computers are the future, fuck yeah let's make Digital Cool Future Music" mid-90s shit, there is no way he would not. it has the exact energy level that appeals to him and is also cheesy and weird and chaotic. and has like 500 different sub-genres, so his selection is endless, lmao.

he would probably find it cute that this is what humans imagined to be the peak of "digital sound" at the time. like lmao this was the best humans could do when asked to create music that sounds like it was made by robots or other mechanical space future cyber lifeforms--high concept!!! he would probably find it interesting and endearing. this is what organics think non-organic music is like!!

anyone acting as DJ at Swerve's on any given night would be so, so mad that Rodimus keeps requesting shit like "DJ MASSIMO ITALO DISCO BEST RAVE TUNES LIVE FROM LONDON 1995" or "DJ ARMPIT SLUDGE FEST HOUSE-RAVE-DRUMS N BASS SET 1996" for them to play, lmao

not individual tracks. the whole album. entire mix tapes of random, somewhat questionable mid-90s techno house rave bullshit.

that having been said, that good ass early 90s trance techno might send him into a spiral depending on his mood at the time, lmao (it's been known to happen)

but at the same time I can imagine him sharing tracks like Solar Quest - Space Pirates with Drift and they'd both just sit there and jam out, but quietly, thinking about shit while sitting in a port window next to each other (this was peak sleepover party techno, Back in My Day-- many deep conversations were had while listening to stuff like this, lol)

Drift would probably find some of Rodmus' recommended stuff to be pretty good for meditation-- although once he finds out about the human drug culture involved and certain concepts of experimental consciousness etc. that surrounded techno/rave and other related genres, it might cause him to pull back a little bit

(until he finds out about kandi culture, in which case, Drift would love the idea of hand-made unique bracelets and sentimental trinkets being made and exchanged at warehouse shows purely out of Good Vibes and Love for Fellow Beings and it turns out actually he fucking loves this shit, a chill vibes based "expand your mind" kind of music subculture appeals to his Spectralist sensibilities and he likes sharing tunes with Rodimus in return)

Drift picking tracks on his own would likely lead him down more of a classic rock road, but more of the chill side of things, more of the folksy type of classic rock -- I can see Drift really enjoying Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum or California Dreamin' - The Mamas and the Papas. or like, Incense and Peppermints - Strawberry Alarm Clock.

I mean, Drift might even go Full Earth Hippie and end up liking Green Tambourine - Lemon Pipers, lmao. in fact I am fairly certain of this.

I can see Drift loving Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In - The 5th Dimension. the whole vibe would probably appeal to him.

he'd quite possibly also like I Need a Dollar - Aloe Blacc, but it hits him in a place that still hurts to think about. so it's in rare rotation.

meanwhile Ratchet would probably be fine with classic rock too, like the good Dad Rock shit, just a lot of tracks from the 70s/80s -- a couple tracks he and Drift could probably agree on would likely lean more into the experimental/psychedelic rock side of things, like White Room - Cream or something like Wheel in the Sky - Journey

Rodimus tries to troll Ratchet by recommending Old Time Rock n Roll - Bob Seger, but joke's on him because it turns out Ratchet loves it, lmao

Swerve would go all out on classic bar jams for the evening playlist. Chill, good shit like Do It Again - Steely Dan.

Megatron would love Sinnerman - Nina Simone; He'd send it to Drift in a command crew level secured data packet, and they would both feel the hell out of this song. They don't need to talk about why. They never mention it to each other.

Megs would also probably love These Old Bones by Dolly Parton (mostly due to the lyrics, rather than the upbeat tune, but he would find it relatively relaxing), as well as 9 to 5 (of course), and similar music. Country from back in the day when country music was more about the struggle of poverty and the working life of rural people. Country music from back when songs told all the untold stories. He can respect that.

He'd listen to You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive by Patty Loveless and it would get him right in the fucking spark. Megatron is the Cybertronian equivalent of an Appalachian miner, god dammit. He understands.

Megatron would also like Johnny Cash; He would overthink Ghost Riders in the Sky and it would depress him, partly because it reminds him of Seekers... sigh.

I think he'd also like Cold War - Janelle Monae. He'd be way into good lyrics; What's being said in a song matters most to him. "This is a cold war, you better know what you're fighting for..." Indeed.

anyway I like thinking about what jams Cybertronians might like from their available selection of Earth tunes

#long post #transformers #maccadam #maccadams #idw drift #idw 1 #idw transformers #mtmte #lost light #idw ratchet #idw rodimus #idw swerve #idw megatron

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fulgurbugs · 6 months ago

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another doll post!

they cut me from work early, so i had time to stop by my walmart and see if catty was in. she was! i picked her up with some birthday money for 24.99.

forgot to get a pic of her in the box. here she is unboxed tho! she has saran with microbraids around her hairline (be careful, these come undone easily.)

initial thoughts: while her outfit is cute… it’s missing a littleeee bit of flair. some shoe paint, or maybe a jacket, like in her concept art? these little shoulder things are kind of horrendous. (and they kept coming unvelcroed under her pits.) might look into making her something.

now, there’s a reason i i got excited about catty when i was previously unenthused about her. and that’s her new body sculpt! let’s cut to the chase, that’s what we want to see.

here she is! she is now the biggest MH sculpt, by quite a significant amount. luckily she can still fit on this stand, but it has to grab her right at the underboob at her thinnest point.

it doesn’t photograph well, but she has a pink-tinged iridescence to her body, that could read like shiny fur. it looks great, and makes her look very glittery and dimensional.

wide and back views. i love that she actually has a bit of a tummy, and she also has a much thicker tail than toralei. (i wasn’t able to yank the tail out, tho i think it’s supposed to come off.)

here’s some comparisons with some of the other ghouls. she’s a medium height girl, and i’d say she’s slightly thicker in the body and thighs than abbey, though the way she’s proportioned give her a fatter body type compared to her.

it’s more evident when they’re turned to the side. draculaura only has larger thighs, so if we specially compare to abbey, you can see cattys even larger thighs and her stomach compared to abbeys flat one.

she has smaller feet (same as draculaura’s size.) her hands are also standard size.

back to the doll with her clothes on. here’s her boots, as is mh doll tradition

cool sculpt, definitely need paint. probably a pretty simple project to do, but all those buckles and chains are just begging for a layer of silver. only a teeeeny bit got silver paint, which i think is a shame. allegedly most of the budget for catty went into developing her sculpt, so her outfit definitely is a little lacking….

face card. i adore ADORE her makeup, the little stars…. the side glance… augh. my favorite part is her lip paint, though. the gradient looks absolutely lovely.

the accessories. since this is catty’s core doll, she comes with some of the core staples: her phone, a backpack, her pet cat amulette, and some sunglasses. in addition, she has a mic, a broken hand mirror, a water bottle, and some sheet music

here’s inside the backpack and her sheet music open. (the sheet music is literally just a little piece of paper lol.)

here’s her with some of her accessories! i decided to restyle her hair a little bit as well, i saw a cute restyle that took her micro braids and made a little side bang with them, and that was simple to replicate, so i did that too. i also made her ponytail higher, which i think looks a lot cuter. i think i wanna give her a little ponytail accessory or something tho… maybe in black? dunno. i also think she looks cute with her glasses on her forehead, so i’m leaving them.

obligatory .5 shot.

and that’s catty noir! (lagoona foot jumpscare). i think she’s a lovely addition to the g3 lineup, and i really, really can’t wait to see what they do with her in another line. her reception (at least in the spaces i lurk) has been so overwhelmingly positive that i think when we see her next, they can really go all out and give her a gorgeous outfit and a fun theme (maybe a skulltimate secrets doll?) it felt appropriate to put her with my monster fest girlies, so she got center stage (sorry cleo and frankie) thanks for reading this far!

#dux doll tag #dux doll review #monster high #long post

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rederthere · 20 days ago

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mouthwashing headcanons to get off my chest before i go feral (pt 1??)

here's my own spin on the cast's full names:

Saul Swansea. rolls off the tongue right, and im a sucker for alliteration names. i think it totally fits his gruff and grouchy vibes - also yes, we can make the obligatory "better call saul" jokes

Charles "Curly" Collins: yet another alliteration name, and i figured curly was just a nickname he went by in the game. ironically, charles is a german name that means, "free man" :)

Anya Meyers: apparently anya is a commonly derived russian name that means "grace" or "gracious." i chose meyers, because some variations of the surname can translate to "doctor", since it traces back to the latin word, "medicus."

Daisuke Mitsuda: daisuke is a japanese name that means "big, assist." naturally i wanted his last name to tie into that theme, and mitsuda means, "light, radiance." so, his full name basically translates to, "big light" which fits into him being the sunshiney character of the group...

Jimmy Shitstain Campbell: put the least effort and thot into this dude's name, cos i seriously dont gaf. i thot it'd be fitting to give him the most generic american surname, especially related to the famous campbell brand. afterall, campbell soups are cheap, mediocore, and unhealthy - just like jimbone!!!!

daisuke was 20 years old, who's been on a prolonged gap year. he originally went to college for engineering, but quickly learned how much he hated going to school. his last minute gap year decision caused some tension between him and his parents, which was why they decided to send him on the internship.

swansea is 61 years old, and has been working at the polle express for the past three decades. he's always been a blue collar guy, hopping around ships to be the mechanic. before he got stuck at his job, i think he wanted to be a pilot. not even a pilot for space, but a good old fashioned airplane pilot for earth.

anya was 28 years old, who was the youngest of three and had a sick father. her mother was overworked, and barely held everything together to support her husband and children - anya became something of an emotional support daughter for her family. despite the fact her siblings left home to find a better life, she couldn't bear to leave her parents - but due to financial stress and health concerns surrounding her father, that's why anya failed her nursing exam multiple times

additionally, due to her basically parenting her parents, she always sent her money to them. i think this is why she had no savings in the game - she wanted to take care of her family, but ended up neglecting herself

curly is 36 years old, jimmy is 39 years. they became friends through piloting school, and jimmy just latched onto curly the moment he realized how popular and well liked curly was with other people.

#mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #anya mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing #daisuke mouthwashing #jigen daisuke #swansea mouthwashing

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the-s1lly-corner · 5 months ago

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I’m feeling silly rn so can I pretty please get some Digital circus x reader headcanons with a reader that’s like a creepy clown doll that’s really anxious? (I’m in my creepy doll era🥺❗️❗️)

Various TADC characters x creepy clown doll!reader w/ anxiety

i kinda really want to bake something but i dont know what hmmm.... characters: ragatha, kinger, pomni, gangle notes: reader is gn, mostly platonic leaning for these CWs: none

RAGATHA

she offers to fix any of the tears you may have in your clothing, though shes a little confused that you want to keep them... you insist that they make you creepier, or at least as creepy as you can look in the digital circus

shes not all that put off by your appearance like some of the others, at least not for long- she manages to get over it fairly quickly in order to make you feel welcome

if you dont want to be perceived as creepy, though, shes more than willing to try to help where she can to make you look more approachable

but if you want to look creepy, or even look creepier... shes a little lost, but shes willing to give you a hand

she does her best to try to work with you through your anxiety, she tries to give you little pep talks and reassurances where she can

always lingering around to make sure you dont need anything, although sometimes she feels she may be overbearing because of it

KINGER

probably the most put off by your appearance, he needs the most time to get over it- hes noticeably a little more on edge around you too, but its not that he doesnt... like you...

your vibe just puts him on edge when hes not fully himself or there in the moment, time and being open is going to be your friend here

more inclined to approach you if you have bugs crawling around on you, its a good conversation opener! he can take them off your hands if you dont want spiders crawling all over you

it kind of turns into a little activity between the two of you, he picks through you and over time you guys get more and more comfortable around one another

i can see him being a little oblivious to some of your clown antics that border on the creepy side, sneaking around and causing mischief, a lot of it goes right over his head and he goes on with applauding you

he just wants to be supportive!

as you both get to know one another he learns of your struggles and you both kind of bond over that- if hes in a clearer head space he does his best to reassure you of anything thats been eating you up

he gets really good at picking up on how youre feeling, sometimes he notices before you realize you're starting to feel... not very well...

POMNI

also pretty put off by your appearance and general demeanor, probably just a little less on edge than kinger.. headcanon that pomni isnt all that into horror and this pops up with you

tries her best to act normal around you like she isnt a little put off

when she finds out youre not as bad as you look she feels bad, even worse when she realizes some of the distance and aloofness comes from your anxiety, she does her best to approach you and close the gap between the two of you

awkward at first... very awkward... but shes trying her best to make you feel welcome around her!

small talk that slowly spirals into longer conversations where you two are just bouncing off of each other, it doesnt feel all that forced anymore and you two like each others company

GANGLE

she can relate to your anxiety, sometimes the two of you hide away from everyone else and just... exist together, where its less overwhelming

gangle doesnt talk much about her problems much but that doesnt mean youre not allowed to, shes a good listener

shes an artist so obligatory she likes your theming and finds herself drawing stuff for you based off your style

tends to any ribbons you have in your clothing or on your body so they can.. not get undone..

you both are attached to the hip for the most part, one is hardly ever seen without the other

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depression-napping · 8 months ago

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(Sorry this is much later than I expected to post!)

Ok everyone we did it, we went to Artnia and ate the Vincent pasta and it was beautiful

Full review of Artnia below the cut ❤️

For those curious, Artnia is an official Square Enix Cafe in the middle of Shinjuku that looks like an egg. It’s a bit quieter and smaller than the Square Enix Cafe in Akihabara.

Making a Reservation

You can make a reservation if you live in Japan and have a Square Enix account, but if you don’t, there may be a few spots available for walk ins. It’s recommended to go early, when they open at 11am, to make a walk in reservation. Also, try weekdays for better luck (we went on a Monday). We dropped in at around 12pm and there was space available at 5pm, so we took it right away. They also stop serving food after 7pm I believe, but you can still order drinks.

While it is helpful to know enough Japanese to comfortably make an order, the staff is helpful, friendly, and speak sufficient English. Lots of foreigners visit because it’s a Square Enix cafe, so Japanese isn’t necessarily required.

When you walk in, you can go to the register and tell them you do not have a reservation, but want to ask if they have any space available for that day. If they do they will give you a ticket for an available time and you can come back if it’s later in the day. You can reserve for up to 4 people but you may have better luck for 1 or 2 guests only.

Note that their primary clientele is local Japanese residents, so they do not have an English menu. If you need to, you can use Google Translate’s camera function to better understand what you’re ordering. Not all ingredients are listed, so take caution if you have special dietary needs.

The FFVII Rebirth Menu is time limited and split into 2 parts. The menu items with the yellow triangles say “prior period” and ended on 4/4, so you can’t order them anymore. The ones with the green triangles say “later period” and are available from 4/5 thru 5/10. Blue corners are available throughout the duration of the event (they’re notably Cloud/Sephiroth themed of course).

But what about the pasta

Ok so on to the important part! You already know what I ordered.

Here’s the menu item description:

ヴィンセントデュアルパスタ

二色のパスタでヴィンセントの持つ二面性を表現しました。スパイシーなアラビアータと濃厚なイカスミパスタをご堪能ください。

Vincent Dual Pasta

“A two-color pasta represents the dual faceted nature that Vincent has. Please enjoy* this spicy arrabbiata and rich** squid-ink pasta.”

(*ご堪能ください　go-tannou kudasai means “please enjoy” but it also means “please feel free to satisfy yourself/to have your fill of…” I’m just gonna let ya’ll fill in the blanks on that one 😘)

( ** 濃厚 noukou (rich in taste) can also be translated as passionate hahaha)

I need to talk about the Squid-ink pasta first. It can only be described as bougie AF. Squid ink is already kind of extra. But I think it had frickin saffron ??? And edible gold leaf on top???? And I am fairly certain that in addition to like, a tiny sprinkling of Parmesan (this is obligatory for any remotely Italian meal) there was like, tiny black caviar?????

Saffron?? Caviar??? Edible gold leaf????

If you ever wondered whether Vincent would spoil the heck out of you, the answer is yes. Yes, he would. Only the best with our man ❤️

Squid ink aside, the more standard arrabbiata was also nice. As a pescatarian, I was nervous it would have meat in it, as a lot of spaghetti dishes in Japan generally contain meat. Luckily it seemed to be vegetable-based, there was like a single zucchini or eggplant slice in there somewhere 😂 (Personally, I think a meat-free option suits him better. It’s like, slightly more compassionate than straight up bolognese or something).

Arrabbiata is made with tomatoes, garlic, olive oil, and dried chili. (He pretends to be a vampire so he can get free garlic, guys) It also means “angry” in Italian (or spiciness pushed to excess). This is Square Enix basically telling you they know he is the hottest FFVII character. He’s not just hot. He’s spicy.

Ok but. Was it actually spicy? No, thankfully. Except for wasabi, Japanese cooking tends to be on the milder side anyway—but it did come with some chili peppers as a garnish, in case you want the full experience, lol.

Speaking of garnishes, what is that green thing in the middle?

It’s rosemary.

WAIT LET ME GOOGLE SOMETHING REAL QUICK

…

Oh lord did the people coming up with this concept do their research:

“Rosemary is the symbol of remembrance, friendship and love and was thus used in wedding ceremonies.” (It also has historical links to the Virgin Mary.)

That’s not just a random herb. That’s the most important part. Like?????????????? Is anyone else ok????? I’m glad I didn’t look this up in the cafe or I would have started ugly crying.

The Bottom Line

So was it good? Actually, yes! Artnia is a higher-end themed cafe than most (a lot of them get a bad rap for having barely edible food while overly relying on the fan aspects to carry the cafe). As a themed item it was close to perfect. The thought and care that went into this particular menu was apparent. I really appreciated that.

Also, this was super affordable as a meal. The yen is ¥0.66 = $1 right now, so this was under $10 😭 Caviar, saffron, squid ink and gold leaf for under $10? Seriously what the heck.

(Bonus, here is a terrible photo of the only Vincent decoration I could find in the store haha. It was kind of holographic?? And attached to the bar counter so I had to squat down to take a photo with my very old phone camera. Still made my heart go dokidoki)

The other items on the special menu were also really good! Husband ordered the “Cloud Black Omelette Rice” and he said it was some of the best omuraisu he had in Japan so far. Granted we are not the biggest consumers of omuraisu, but that has to count for something. We also tried the Cait Sith Mog Box drink (REALLY good, if you like Black Sesame) and the Gold Saucer Protein Juice (highly doubt it had any protein but it was a refreshing orange juice based drink).

Plus, for every drink you order, you get a random free character coaster. Check my next post to see who I got ❤️

The special menu is ongoing until Friday, May 10! If a trip to Tokyo is in the cards for you, as an FFVII fan, I do recommend making a trip to Artnia ❤️

EDIT: I lied there is *one* Vincent figure on display and like two tiny pieces of merch (which I will post later, tumblr doesn’t like me rn)

#artnia #vincent valentine #artnia square enix #ffvii rebirth #square enix #square enix cafe #food review #idk if Vincent eats but if he did…? lolol #post for another day #ok the rosemary literally took me out when I looked it up

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sittinginthewoodsrn · 27 days ago

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OBLIGATORY INTRODUCTION POST!

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

Very important:

🌱 I'm Eben! Im pre-T (hopefully starting soon), and pre top surgery.

🌱 Minors DNI and don't follow! I'm a whole grown ass man, and I will reblog or even post some nsft stuff.

🌱 Please use he/him pronouns! I'm not into being misgendered :( You can refer to me as the following for sure: bro, dude, mate, bloke, man, guy, good boy, puppy, pup, cute, handsome, pretty.

(Also, I'm a real life DILF so please don't call me daddy, it will definitely be weird).

🌱 I'm really awkward/shy irl, but I wanna make friends so let's be mutuals! You'll probably have to reach out first though, since im so shy :(

🌱 My asks/dms are open, so please be nice!

🌱 check the "sittinginthewoodsrn posts" tag for posts by me, and the "sittinginthewoodsrn asks" for ask responses! you can find the tags under this very post ↓

🌱 I apologise for not having a very aesthetic tumblr, i post from my phone!

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

TAKEN ANON EMOJIS: 💿, 🌱, 🍃

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

l will block anyone I feel necessary. This is my space, I will not feel guilty for keeping it clean.

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

OTHER INFO INCLUDING INTERESTS AND 18+ STUFF:

🌱 I'm big into:

- art (I do all sorts of art, primarily fictional cartography, character design and furry art. If we're friends I might draw your oc or fursona for fun!)

- music (I'll listen to pretty much anything but if anyone asks, I'm a metalhead of some kind. I also really enjoy singing)

- paganism and witchcraft. im a polytheistic pagan. I read tarot for personal reasons usually (and never for money), and I obsessively collect trinkets, rocks, feathers, bones, shells, and vintage books.

- artsy horror, some classic horror. Films, books, art, whatever.

- writing. (I write romance, fantasy and poetry predominantly).

🌱 I'm also a gamer, these are my favourite video games:

- The Sims 4

- Animal Crossing New Horizons

- Stardew Valley

- Skyrim

- Dragon Age II

- Dragon Age Inquisition

- Fire Emblem Three Houses.

Feel free to talk to me about any of these games, or just any other cozy and simulation games!

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

18+ stuff:

🌱 switch/verse. mostly sub, but also an affectionate/caring/needy dom. I'm placiosexual (meaning im more than happy to please a partner, but less keen on being pleased myself).

🌱 I have only a few kinks, mostly around praise and affection. I know that's a fairly wholesome kind of kink - but i just really crave words of affirmation and being useful.

🌱 My expressive love languages are physical touch and acts of service, and my receptive love languages are words of affection, and quality time.

🌱 Also I'm new to puppy play and just starting to explore it! (If you're going to interact with me in this way please no degradation, intoxicated cnc beyond just weed, violence, any of that basically, im too soft)

🌱 I'm just here to have fun and be part of a community.

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

VERY IMPORTANT: im a DV survivor and i can't handle a lot of the heavier aspects of puppy play and kink. I'm mostly interested in praise and affection stuff for a reason, and this here is the reason.

- please, no heavy/abusive themed humiliation or degradation aimed at me either.

⛔DNI⛔

Again, minors be gone!! I really don't mess with age players, detrans kink blogs, TERFs, MAPs, zoos, general bigots.

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

Thanks for reading, and welcome to my tumblr! 💚

If you're still reading this, you might as well follow me c:

#intro post #sittinginthewoodsrn posts #sittinginthewoodsrn asks #transmasc #trans ftm #ftm #ftm nsft

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jewishdragon · 7 months ago

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Ok let’s see if I can list all my favorite anime.

Feel free to reblog with your lists too

This is in no particular order

Full metal Alchemist Brotherhood (perfect plot, worldbuilding, and animation. There is little I find at fault with this anime. The philosophical themes of war, god, and morality, are also incredible)

Mushishi. (Animation is the most beautiful stuff I’ve ever seen. Ever wanted to experience The Horrors but feel immeasurably calm at the same time? Follow Ginko as he solves supernatural mysteries in a fantasy ancient rural Japan. Get your heart ripped apart in 20 minutes with this purely episodic series)

Tsuritama. (Need a 12 episode feel good fun time with fish aliens, saving the world, and making friends? Yeah. This is for you)

Soul Eater (wacky as fuck. Fun plot. Falls into the fanservice trap a few times but you know, it’s still really good. I thought so many characters would be irritating but no they are endearing instead. The script is so fucking stupid at times I love it. death the Kid and Dr Stein are my favorite characters)

So I’m A Spider So What? (My favorite isekai. I hope for more of it. Don’t watch if you can’t handle a lot of spiders. The progression of the protagonist is really cool and the world building is interesting tho the humans are boring)

Dungeon Meshi (current obsession. Autistic main that is so painfully accurate. Wholesome and it’s gonna get bonkers but stay wholesome at the same time. It’s a dnd homebrew adventure)

Madoka Mágica (if you haven’t heard of this you may live under a rock. Magical Girls but batshit world building and implications.)

Ouran High School Host Club (I mean. It’s just cute. Reverse harem? Nonbinary protag??? Rich kid politics??)

Red Line (movie. Sexy as fuck. Car racing in space!?????)

Wolf Children (movie. I hate the ending but I still cried)

Trigun (wish there was more worldbuilding. Post-apocalyptic kinda deal, humanity + weird tech = consequences. Main characters are INSURANCE AGENTS!)

(Obligatory anything ghibli. Can’t leave out the classics and the quality of it)

That’s all I can think of for now

#anime list

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topgun-ace-week · 1 year ago

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Are you a fanwork creator? Are you interested in Top Gun (1986) or Top Gun: Maverick (2022)? Are you A-spec, A-spec ally, or simply interested in making A-spec-related fanwork?

Then this event is for you!

Along with this year's Ace Awareness Week (22-29 October 2023), we're hoping to bring anything related to asexuality and Top Gun to one place and time. There'll be eight days, seven with its own themes and one free space day to quench the thirst for anything that didn't fit in said themes. The event is open for fics, art, edits, podfics, and anything else that can be posted either on Tumblr or AO3 in the Top Gun Ace Week Collection.

Any ships/characters are welcome as long as they're Top Gun-related! All works are to be related to asexuality - and the chosen day's theme — with additional prompts available.

Check out Rules for more.

Each day will have a general theme and secondary non-obligatory prompts. Take a look below for proposed options and tell us what you think in the interest form before we revise the event!

You might also take a peek at the event's Google Doc here.

(Day - Compulsory Theme - additional, non-obligatory prompts)

Day 1 - Micro Labels - Not A Naval Aviator AU - humor

Day 2 - Flirting - Coffee Shop AU - angst

Day 3 - Sex-Indifferent - Sports AU - hurt/comfort

Day 4 - Aromantic Ace - Different First Meeting AU - smut

Day 5 - Coming Out - Crossover/Different Settings AU - fluff

Day 6 - Sex-Repulsed - Soulmates AU - fluff

Day 7 - Queerplatonic - College AU - romance

Day 8 - Free Ace Week Day - Anything you want related to asexuality goes here!

Other SFF I read or reread in 2022

City of Stairs by Robert Jackson Bennett for worldbuilding, shady empires, female MC, urban fantasy vibes with a strong sense of place and a murder mystery thrown in for flavour.

Deeplight by Frances Hardinge. YA fantasy with horror vibes that I very much enjoyed as an adult not usually keen on YA. There are scary eldritch gods, toxic relationships with a hopeful ending, excellent fantasy worldbuilding, a really solid sense of civilization (especially the Deaf culture of the divers that is really interwoven in the setting). Sea monsters! Secrets! Street urchins! This is one of my all-time favourites.

The Scholomance series by Naomi Novik, starting with A Deadly Education; the third book came out two weeks after Nona and it gave me emotional whiplash, because (spoiler!) the angry goth girl gets to be happy in this one! YA, very vivid very fun worldbuilding, spunky teenage heroine with a cynical disposition and death powers.

Obligatory rec for Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell just because it’s one of those books that make me feel like I’m a richer person for having read them. It’s an impressive alternate history fantasy, the writing is masterful, the fae villain is unsettling and inhumanly evil, the mundane villains (pettiness, spite, centuries-old institutions) provide excellent dramatic irony. Everyone is insufferable in a petty way that’s also endlessly entertaining, and the two titular characters are absolutely obsessed with each other. The prose is a pastiche and tremendously well written. My only nitpick is that there are way too many men. I get why, given the setting the premise and the characters, and I loved the book, but since this rec originated with an ask about TLT I feel like I have to clarify that the gender ratio is pretty much the polar opposite.

My Heart Is a Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones if you like spunky teenage girl protagonists, poetically described gore, critique of colonialism and indigenous displacement. This is a horror thriller not a sff, sent in the contemporary US, and it’s basically a love letter to the horror movie genre + Native American folk legends. Reccing it anyway because YMMV but to to me it really hit some of the spots that HtN does. (Content warning for off-screen CSA)

The Gone World by Tom Sweterlitsch. Speculative fiction thriller, lots of jumping between alternate timelines and wondering what exactly is going on. It’s not flawless but it’s unabashedly weird in a very fun, very unique way that I really appreciated.

Under the Pendulum Sun by Jeannette Ng. Unique worldbuilding, distinct narrative voices, gothic vibes, weird religious imagery. Fantasy historical fiction about cruel inhuman fae, the worldbuilding is brilliant and very vivid (and what an aesthetic it is!), the story is fucked up in a delicious way, and the prose is a delightful Brontë pastiche. Content warnings for consensual sibling incest and Christian missionaries on a mission of “civilization” through faith (it’s not portrayed in a positive way but the colonialism is definitely there).

[I only flagged content warnings that aren't canon-typical for TLT, but definitely more apply. If you need clarification on a specific book HMU]

#reading recs #reading list #the traitor baru cormorant #teixcalaan #the broken earth #the scholomance #ask #anonymous #@anon if you've read any of these and have Opinions whether good or bad lmk #so i can narrow it down to tailor made recs AND have an excuse to do more BookTalk #baru cormorant

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aces-come-in-spades · 3 days ago

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NOBODY LIKES THE OPENING BAND!: CHARACTER MASTERLIST

Please read all of the following information. This covers some basic in-universe mechanics and provides enough background information to interact with the characters, as well as some info on the characters themselves.

(btw. obligatory fuck you ryan seaman before we continue. i dont support that dickhead <333)

BE ADVISED: HEAVY RELIGIOUS THEMES, SUICIDE, AND GENOCIDE ARE DISCUSSED BELOW!

Nobody Likes the Opening Band! is a non-sequential series of fanfictions inspired by the bands I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME (idkhow) and Waterparks, and draws places, people, and other elements from each band's respective lore. Currently only one work, The Paris Manuscript, is being written. It is available to read on AO3. There is a planned second work, Nobody Likes the Opening Band, that will eventually exist.

Nobody Likes the Opening Band! mostly revolves around the plot of the second work, with the Manuscript serving as a sort of prequel. In Opening Band, a new family moves to the town Ryan Seaman lives in, and Ryan is determined to learn what secrets their son Dal is hiding. In the process of trying to uncover Dal's secrets, Ryan discovers Gloomtown, an anti-Purgatory where certain souls who suffered a great deal during their lives or whose lives were cut off before they could have much meaning go to rest before the end of the world that is also the world's source of magic.

In order to fully learn the truth about Dal, Ryan is forced to team up with his ex-friend and current arch-nemesis Awsten Knight, and Paris, a spirit from Gloomtown whose attatched himself to Awsten.

Gloomtown has an incredibly powerful energy that leaks through to Earth, where it soaks into the DNA of random people and mutates it. This mutation allows the person, once they are born, to inherit magical powers once they are 13. Powers can be literally anything.

PASCAL "CAL" PHYLLIS (#cal phyllis)

the only child of the couple that adopted ryan. he has a soul of gold and the strangest humor you've ever seen. his particularly likes to joke about being a capitalist (he is anything but one). also a fantastic matchmaker despite his inability to get a boyfriend! he just wants to kiss someone :<

the only main character without any magic powers. he makes up for it by being the best fucking cupcake baker you've ever met.

(he/him, gay, no magic. birthday october 4.)

likes: baking, eldritch horror, cats, playing pranks hates: messy spaces, tea fun fact: he starts out by crushing on dal but eventually loses interest. rumor has it he's secretly dating a boy named mikey way ;)

PARIS EVANGELINE (#paris)

harley's youngest and most difficult child. he's a shapeshifter and is a (literal) being of chaos.

he was born with his soul outside and detached from his body. he wears it on a chain around his neck, but since this is unnatural he's not quite right. using his powers drain him so he's almost always tired, but he tries to hide it via masking. also his wings don't really get used because flying drains him way more than magic.

due to all of this (and all the bullying his siblings did to him when he was younger, they are incredibly ableist and a few are homophobic) harley wouldn't let him out of gloomtown until one day, they introduced star to paris! at which point paris and star basically became a did system. (more on this when we get to star)

in order to stay alive, paris has to take pieces of human souls and attach them to his soul. he likes to latch onto certain people he really likes and refer to them as his host. at the time of nobody likes the opening band, awsten is paris's current host.

he's super duper flirty and touchy and emotional. and also wears whatever the fuck he wants because he's trying to appeal to humans and to him this means showing off a lot of skin, so he wears crop tops and shorts a lot (he loves them dw)

(genderfluid but often presents as male, pansexual, universal manifestation of chaos. no known birthday.)

likes: raising a ruckus, geese, gummy bears, cuddling hates: whaaaaaaaaat? hating something? impossible! he would never! ahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!! fun fact: he started out as my version of waterparks' character soulsucker but he literally turned into an oc this thing is nothing like the real soulsucker.

STAR EVANGELINE (#star)

paris's guardian.... demon? ghost? spirit who is basically an alter. when paris is stressed/anxious/upset or physically injured/in danger star will assume paris's physical form while paris takes on star's ghost form. star basically gets to have a body for once while paris recovers.

star is a gloom, a type of demon that was created to originally oversee and care for gloomtown. harley wasn't very big on them, seeing them as useless since harley was the new ruler of the place, so all the glooms were wiped out. star had snuck out and was exploring earth and thus escaped death, but they were captured on return and given to paris as a protector. one of star's wings was ripped out of their back, so they hide their wing under jackets cuz they're embarrassed to have anyone find out about this.

due to all the shit that's happened, star tends to close others off and acts incredibly hostile towards most people. they're really only soft towards paris and anyone that is a host/close to a host.

(they/them, aromantic, the last gloom in gloomtown. doesn't actually have a birthday but likes to celebrate it on november 2.)

likes: no one knows hates: everything, if their attitude is anything to go off of fun fact: star was the st*rfucker to soulsucker. again, it got way out of hand <33

HARLEY EVANGELINE (#harley)

a seraphim who, while fallen, never actually committed any sin. they were punished by getting reassigned to ruling gloomtown, and they wield this authority mercilessly. their divinity is what allows gloomtown to affect humans and give them magic.

somehow, they managed to give birth to 100 children.

there really isnt much known about them. they present themself as a benevolent and kind figure, but they hide a much more sinister and cruel personality

(they/she, aceflux, guardian of gloomtown. no known birthday.)

likes: no one knows. hates: no one knows this either. fun fact: they were inspired by bart harley jarvis from idkhow's music video for the song "WHAT LOVE?" (bart is this pink illuminati pyramid thing)

honorable mentions

RYAN SEAMAN: the protagonist of Nobody Likes the Opening Band and Cal's brother. He wasn't born with the Gloomtown DNA mutation, but accidentally fell into Gloomtown while conscious and met Maxx, a very temperamental snake who followed Ryan home and bit him. Ryan now has fangs and can discharge deadly venom by biting, but he usually tries to avoid using this power. Also, Maxx lives in his skin as a tattoo. LIAM FORD: ryan's ex-best friend, who killed himself when he was barely even thirteen after escaping the clutches of tellexx, a research company that had kidnapped and tortured him one summer. he now haunts the town as a ghost.

honorable mentions open for asks

AWSTEN KNIGHT (#awsten): (he/him, bisexual) the local spellcaster, enchantment weaver, and potion-brewer with a fondness for doing the most insane and impulsive shit you've ever seen. he's also paris's current host and claims that paris is a little bitch (which he can be, to be fair). he and ryan used to be friends, fell out after liam's suicide, and some time after dal moves to town, they become friends again before they eventually start dating.

DALLON "DAL" WEEKES (#dal weekes): (he/him, straight) harley's favorite brat, who went "MIA," so to speak. for a few years after extracting his powers from himself. ryan, awsten, and paris had to work together to return dal's powers. He is known as vengeance, and his magic allows him to summon knives that inflict death or a curse on anyone pierced by one. he's also suffered a lot of emotional abuse and experiences a good deal of religious guilt.

#mona speaks #nobody likes the opening band!#the band members speak #cal phyllis #paris #star #harley #awsten #dal weekes

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fairlyqualityanon · 1 year ago

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Digging Your Own (Snow)Grave

You thought the sins of Frisk/Chara/Kris were confined to the game world, that when you closed the window, it all collapsed back into a mess of 0s and 1s. 'Your choices don’t matter,' it said. But what you do online doesn't necessarily stay online. Chara corrupting your game data on Steam isn't the worst outcome from a Genocide route.

5.6k words of reader insert fluffy vore featuring Spam//ton NEO (on whom I now have a massive Switch crush) for 8/8 Vore Day, I had fun with this and I hope you enjoy! (read on AO3)

Masterlist

-----------------

You pick up the novelty glasses you’d found in a shop. They were just sitting on a shelf with a ton of other junk, so you had held them against your face while you sent a selfie to your friend.

//Spamton cosplay when? 😛//

It was actually a little weird how much they looked like they’d popped directly out of the game: one lens yellow, one magenta; opaque looking in, nearly transparent looking out.

Only a couple of dollars, so why the heck not?

-----------------

You scrunched your eyes, not wanting to wake up. Fumbling for your phone, you squint to see what time it was. No signal. Ugh, had the tower gone out again? The battery was getting pretty low, too, so you sat up with a grumble and opened your eyes.

Um. This didn’t look like your bedroom, or your house at all. Everything was lit by the blue light of a computer screen, as if you were in some cyberpunk dystopia.

You stood up and cracked your knuckles. This was absolutely a dream, so why not make the most of it?

Something was taking up space in your pocket, you noticed, phone not wanting to go all the way in. With your free hand, you rummaged through the mess. What the heck was all this stuff? You started to pull your hand back out, surprised by the window materializing in front of you. It looked not-all-there, kind of like menu options in VR.

'Inventory', it said, listing a fair number of items. Hey, you recognized some of those!

Freeze Ring

> Devilsknife

A small charm in the shape of a colorful scythe, about the size of a keychain ornament, appeared in your hand.

Was this dream based on a video game? Deltarune was an odd choice, if so.

So. Your subconscious based the dream on Chapter 2, Cyber World's Snowgrave route. A first-person visualization of the map was absolutely beautiful, and you wondered from what your mind was drawing to flesh out the dream.

Glancing to your right, you saw a large dumpster, surrounded by bags of printer sheets. You stood on your tiptoes to peek inside it. That weirdo NPC vendor Spamton had abandoned it when you triggered his breaking into the Castle, you remembered; had he left anything behind?

No, just the pillow that showed in the flavor text of any dumpster you checked. At least it was behind a clothing store, otherwise the smell would have been overwhelming. Oh, and some twist of fabric on top of the pillow.

Yoink! Like any good RPG player, you picked up everything Just In Case.

Puppet Scarf was added to your weapons.

Why was it in there, though? It was the reward for defeating Spamton NEO through violence, or else finishing the Snowgrave route, so either the player character or the final boss should have it.

It was a really interesting NPC, everyone scrambling with theories and headcanons; nobody could have guessed ‘battle theme remixes are canon’. The obligatory 'Gaster did it' featured, of course, but you couldn't keep up with all of that.

Maybe you should follow along, staying out of sight in case Berdly hadn't been Frozen yet. You didn't know if you could die here, but you weren't taking that chance. You felt a little chilly, so you wrapped the scarf-weapon around your neck. Much better.

There had been a SAVE point around here somewhere... There! A flickering blue-white four-pointed star. You touched it eagerly, wondering if it would say 'Kris' or else the character name you'd picked before the first chapter.

Blank. Guess you got to pick your own name. As you focused on the menu, it changed to the keyboard screen, a transparent cartoony hand indicating the first character slot, which was empty. The next five, however, were filled.

_ASTER

You tried to move the pointer to the other slots. No luck. Shrugging, you selected the blank space. The hand flew down to point at the letter 'G'.

You sure as hell weren't picking that one. What would happen to you if the game crashed?

Just like the name field, you couldn't move the hand to any other letter.

This was a dream, right? You were already lucid, so why not try to control it? Squinting your eyes at

SELECT

ENTER

you willed a third option into existence

SELECT

ENTER

> delete

... Are you sure?

You nod your head curtly.

'G' disappeared from the keyboard, leaving a darker hole in an already dark background.

Well, you still couldn't change character position, but you needed a first letter. Something nonsensical didn't sound any fun. 'M'? 'E'? 'C'?

'F', you decide, reaching for the symbol.

MISS

"‘Taster’? That's stupid," you scoff as it confirms the name and returns to the SAVE screen.

You followed the trail of recently-living ice sculptures, passing a mini iceberg. You tried to avoid looking at it, feeling guilty for the quasi-Genocide Run.

No one - not even the fearful NPCs - spotted you as you slipped into Queen's Mansion. The door to The Basement was right there, the one with the scratched-out panel.

That rapid teacup ride was annoying, but you descended unscathed even though your thoughts were filled with questions, not just 'how did I get here?' but also ones such as 'what will I find down there?'. In your own save files, you'd had to restart the Pacifist Playthrough a few times in order to SPARE Spamton NEO with a full inventory, because the double-secret dialogue cracked you up.

Able to enter the basement, you weren't certain if the discarded robot had been activated. Kris sealed the Cyber World Fountain immediately upon freezing Spamton NEO, so it couldn't have been defeated and progressed past already. The door was blocked when you entered the Mansion in-game, because Spamton had already taken it over. So where was the antagonist NPC?

You crept through the basement, taking a single step into the end room where the robot was stored, all the way at the very end. You could just barely see it from here.

The Empty Disk wouldn’t be in there, would it? Snowgrave didn’t have that quest; your character never formally met him since you indirectly helped by clearing the way. You wanted it, though, if you could still turn it into the Loaded Disk and then definitively bring both bosses with you to the next chapters.

A sapient - or sentient, at the very least - floppy disk? Lancer's flavor text was funny enough, but the glitchy NPC's dialogue was completely novel. Toby Fox had really outdone himself, using Chapter One to trick you and other players into thinking choices at best only altered a few lines. Jevil was completely optional and gave one piece of equipment; Spamton NEO was optional normally but also the final boss of Deltarune's 'Genocide Route' equivalent.

Adjusting the Puppet Scarf around your neck, you reached into the cavity of the machine and fished out the glasses.

DEALMAKER was added to your wea

Was added to your

added to y

[ERROR]

404 [STYLE] Not Found

"What the [BEEP] was that?" you muttered. Starting to fold the earpieces together, you paused and - on a whim - decided to put them on. Maybe it would wake you up, a sort of double negative?

Hmm. Nope. You bet you looked stylish as hell, though. Time to go find a mirror!

You were wondering if you could hack somehow the Mannequin into your inventory, get the full set of secret-second-boss-themed equip. Those Addisons didn't have full-on shops the way Gerson, Burgerpants, Seam, or Roulx did, so you couldn't simply collision box glitch your way in. Were they one of the enemies you froze while grinding to get Spamton's Thorn Ring? Eh, you'll check on your way back out.

The background music was really starting to set you on edge, though. The Basement was inaccessible during Snowgrave after you'd hit enough internal flags. But the Genocide Route music - Flowey’s slowed theme - featured. It was spooky, making you feel like you were being watched. All the NPCs were either hiding, locked up, or deadfrozen.

A low rumble shook the room and you wobbled for a moment, arms flailing. Was that Giga Queen? You didn't actually fight her in Snowgrave, though. The Spamton NEO fight? That happened outside the mansion. Better hurry and get out of here.

You heard the rumble again, but this time the floor remained steady. Turning around, you called out - perhaps foolishly - "Who's there?"

Something scraped against the far wall, a metal-on-metal sound that threw off a shower of sparks not quite bright enough for you to see what had made it.

Backing up slowly, you panned your gaze back and forth in the gloom. This was quickly going from 'quirky dream' to 'outright nightmare'.

You caught a blur of motion and tilted your head up and up, and up even more, your eyes adjusted to the dark enough to trace the outline of the towering figure seeming to coalesce from the shadows, two large circles flaring with the illumination of a non-existent sun.

Oh bleep, you think to yourself, automatically self-censoring. The Spamton NPC had been smaller than all four of your controllable party characters, and those were schoolchildren. The abandoned robot was roughly Queen’s height, and the optional boss Spamton NEO had been between two and three times Kris’ height.

But this? This thing? It was colossal, and almost bulky compared to its vibrant buggy Slenderman aesthetic in-game.

You finger the Devilsknife in your pocket before firmly grabbing its handle and swinging it out in front of yourself in a defensive stance. You realize it’s the same battle posture as the Kris character, though Susie was the only one you could equip the bonus boss’ item to. You were glad you’d taken the violence option in Chapter 1, originally because it blatantly implied you were bringing said boss along with you, but now because it gave you a sharp object to cut the wires of this boss.

As you did so, your surroundings spun away, replaced by the arcade style background of the Battle screen. The dissonant notes of 'Deal Gone Wrong' played under the echoes of Spamton NEO's battle intro.

"HOLY [Cungadero] DO I FEEL GOOD. ...HERE I AM!! [Player #1]!! IT'S TIME FOR A LITTLE [Specil Tour]!!"

Was that his normal dialogue? It sounded familiar, but you didn't think it was strictly accurate. Time to put your Mad Gamer Skilz to use; hopefully those translated over to the dream.

In your playthrough, the videogame boss had a set animation pattern, only 'looking' in a direction based on its attack. Even when firing off various projectiles, its head and gun arm always pointed in the exact same position per cycle.

But the very real creature - person? machine? - shooting very real bullets at you was tracking your every movement. Though you strafed and jumped - something the top-down 2D game definitely didn't allow for - Spamton NEO followed you with no delay. Freaky.

Your arms were so sore, completely unused to the weight of such a heavy scythe. It giggled uncannily as you whipped it through the air, fortunately encountering no resistance, but your hands were covered in sweat and struggling to keep your grip on the handle. The impact of the Pipis fragments - whatever the blue bouncing eggs were supposed to be - wasn’t doing you any favors either.

And then it happened. Lungs burning, you swiped at a Pipis you were too tired to dodge, whiffing entirely. Rather than colliding in a burst of pain and depleting HP, it exploded on contact into a tangle of wires just like the ones holding the machine up, though yours were blue instead of green.

"TIED [down] TO A [loan] YOU CAN’T REPAY? [Die now] AND SEE IF YOU QUALIFY FOR [forgiveness]."

The cartoon heart beating in front of your chest dimmed - no, was changing color - and you felt a surge of emotion. Was this the Determination mechanic from the first game? A green light flashed in your vision, accompanied by the beep of health restoration.

"THERE'S A NEW [palette] TO YOUR [facial glow]... GETTING YOUR SECOND WIND, [Player 1]?"

There it was again. The boss was supposed to address your character as ‘Kris’, except for when ‘you whispered Noelle’s name’. No such thing as ‘reading too much into it’ here: too vivid to be a dream, too much pain to be a hallucination.

With each pulse, the orange heart became darker and darker until it glowed green. That wasn’t a feature in this game, unless it would be a mechanic in the upcoming chapters: kindness and shield mode. You didn't have a shield from Kris' DEFEND action, nor the Spear Of Justice from the Undertale fight with Undyne.

"THIS [final boss] HAS A [limited time only specil] JUST FOR YOU!"

"Shut up! Shut up!" you yelled, "Your voice lines are even more annoying than that other secret boss, how do I skip your dialogue!?"

Your wires tightened, lifting you into the air until you were dangling at a level to look Spamton NEO in the eyes from across the battlefield. The words

(Wrong choice...?)

floated before you. According to the wiki, Spamton and Jevil were rivals, so you probably touched a nerve.

"NOW IS THAT ANY WAY TO TALK TO [your old pal] SPAMTON? AFTER HE’S [offering] YOU SUCH A SWEET SWEET [meal]?"

Wait what. This sounded sketchy as frick. "You’re just a computer program, what kind of ‘deal’ could you offer me, a real person?"

Bitcrushed yet cacophonous laughter echoed and you winced, unable to reach your ears to cover them. You couldn’t look away from the grotesque mouth gaping in a maniacal cackle, stretching almost up to the glowing bichromatic lenses. They gleamed in turn, like when you were playing Undertale’s Neutral Route and had to fight Asgore, and you prepared to dodge... however that would happen without Muffet’s webs to hop and your SOUL green instead of purple.

"AN UNFORGETTABLE [never] IN A LIFETIME DEAL."

"What if I don’t like the sound of your deal?" You were blushing; you knew what you’d heard, as much as you'd like to pretend you didn't.

"ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TURN DOWN THE CHANCE OF A [very specil tour]?"

You mentally cursed your heated cheeks, probably as bright now as the hue of a Determined SOUL. You were pretty well cornered, with so few options. Right on cue, an ACT prompt materialized.

CONCEDE

DENY

Good thing the menu screens didn’t require your physical body for interaction. How could you lie? The truth was evident.

> CONCEDE

DENY

"But I used Incognito Mode!" You protest. The exact outcomes of dialogue selections were difficult to predict, but you weren’t going to complain about this one.

"HA HA HA. YOU THOUGHT YOUR USING [the Google Bing] WAS [blockchain encrypted]!?"

The rooms in Queen's castle were supposedly personalized based on the various NPC's web searches in Hometown, giving you clues into their backstories, but how would your real world searches be scraped? The original file name of Deltarune Chapter 1 seemed to mock scam programs, but it couldn't really be a Trojan or something.

It didn't make sense. Actually, it made total sense but should have been impossible.

"Well... Yeah," you admitted, adding suspiciously, "I want to know more about this deal of yours: what are you demanding in return?" Acting interested at first was how you SPAREd him in the Normal Route, so it couldn't hurt to hear him out as your HP blipped back to full.

The noises of the Basement returned in a deafening rush and Spamton's wires - no, yours... No, both of yours - dragged you closer together, battle screen below you vanishing as well.

"I mean, this is a video game; you're a boss NPC and I'm not a character at all!" What did it want from you? What could it possibly want?

His ever-present grin turned sharklike, sensing a captive potential customer as certainly as smelling blood in the water.

"[Player 1]! I WANT. THAT SHINING SOUL. YOU HAVE. THE [determination] OF A PERSON [level grinding] TO REACH THE HIGH [leaderboard]."

Yeah, no. Not happening. You didn't fancy dying in a dream, even one as weird as this. "No. Absolutely not. You can't have it. I kinda need this to, you know, live?" You dipped your head to indicate the vulnerable green SOUL.

His wings arched forward, as if reaching out to you. They cast twin shadows over the whole room, but stopped just before crossing the halfway point.

"WHEN I'M OFFERING YOU A [free cruise] FOR [hot singles in your area]?"

You just narrowed your eyes, remaining silent.

Spamton NEO shook his head reproachfully. "I KNOW I CAN'T [alt-tab] MY WAY OUT OF [the most dangerous game] BUT WITH YOUR [no background check required] [cheap rental] SOUL POWER I CAN STILL. BE BIG. SO VERY VERY BIG. SEE PAST THE DARK."

He knew it was a videogame, that you were a real person and he just a program. What sort of implications did that have for Deepest Lore? It seemed Spamton just wanted control over the game itself, unlike Chara, who wanted both the game and reality. You could live with this on your conscience. Hopefully it wouldn’t ruin the SAVE files of whoever’s computer this was.

"THIS OFFER IS [for a limited time only] UNTIL YOU [ctrl-alt-del] BACK TO [aren't you tired of working a boring 9-to-5 desk job?]!"

"So... Temporarily? I'll still own my SOUL. And not die?"

Silence. Just for a moment. And then he bowed, one hand behind his back and the other extended in the classic 'let's shake on it' deal stance.

Your vines descended, unraveling and falling to the ground in loops at your feet.

What had that stuffed cat NPC said after you beat Jevil? "He started saying bizarre things that didn't completely make sense - But didn't completely not make sense, either."

Time froze again, even the flicker of the nearby Dark Fountain reflected on Spamton NEO's massive teeth. You glanced at the small menu in front of you.

AGREE

REFUSE

You hovered your ghostly disembodied finger over the damning words before drawing in a nervous breath and firmly pushing

> AGREE

REFUSE

Your arm stretched out - almost without thinking - placing your right hand in the robotic puppet's. It was so small by comparison, your entire hand barely covering even one of his fingertips.

Spamton's too-broad grin widened - somehow - even further, carefully pinching your hand between thumb and a single index finger, giving it the tiniest shake.

You smiled hesitantly, emboldened by the gentle contact and what appeared to be a warm cast to the glowing lenses. That smarmy stereotypical 'used car salesman' expression was so hard to read; you had to make wild guesses from his posture and the area around Spamton's glasses. He didn’t seem the slightest bit hostile anymore, and Mercy +100% had flashed the moment you picked to agree to his deal, so you felt you could trust it.

Facial expression unchanging, he released his hold on your hand and, barely a second later, lunged forward with his own, wrapping all three fingers around you in a firm grip. You couldn’t tell if Spamton NEO stood back up or if it was the wires tugging him upright; searching for the answer was rather low on your list of priorities right now. Instead, you were hyper aware of just how high up you’d been snatched, and that you were staring directly into the eyes of a giant who’d just agreed to EAT you.

Struggling wouldn’t do you the least bit of good; while you would certainly survive a fall from that height, you couldn’t possibly limp away fast enough. You were pretty sure your SOUL was still green, anyway.

The boss seemed content to study you placidly, and you swallowed nervously, hoping the hammering of your heart wasn’t too obvious. It gave you a better view as well.

The Saw-like red dots on his cheeks from the original body were gone, leaving a uniformly shiny bone-white surface. Spamton NEO’s plating and wings, on the other hand, were incredibly garish, but also weirdly pleasant to look at; the tiny animated figure on your computer screen simply did not do the character justice.

You could faintly see a pair of thick carats on his face behind the glasses. Hadn't the Addison shopkeepers mentioned he'd been one of them, 'just a little unlucky'? That was certainly support for the theory. You also thought you could see your reflections twinned in pink and orange staring back apprehensively, you were so close to his face.

Even if it wasn't a dream or hallucination, nobody in the real world would know about this. It's not like you'd ever had a vore dream, so you didn't want to look this gift horse in the mouth. Though, you were looking him in the mouth, worried about just what lay behind those gleaming teeth. How would this even work?

Uneasy didn't even begin to describe your emotional state right now; all the vore scenarios you'd read and seen heavily featured trust, something untenable at the moment. You had to fight against the very human response that was cringing in fear, failing entirely when Spamton NEO opened his mouth. Was this the Money Vacuum attack? It looked like you’d been betrayed!

Except... You didn’t hear battle music, not a single one of the many themes. Instead, you were popped unceremoniously into his mouth the way a person might toss back a TicTac, or perhaps a breath mint.

You lifted your head to watch the shrinking window of light, vanishing fully with the creaking slam of a garage door. No backing out now; the deal had been sealed behind you as surely as his teeth.

Everything was dark. So, so dark. The Battle Menu had been the only light source besides Cyber World's Dark Fountain, and now you had neither of those. You didn't really want to move around, what if you fell? The texture you were on was too smooth to be fabric, but had too much give to be metal. What else could there be in the robot body?

You started to stand up, deciding that maybe exploring was a good idea after all, when something large knocked into you, causing you to fall back over again. Pushing yourself awkwardly to your knees, the whatever-it-was bumped you again, far more cautiously this time.

Huh. The robot had a tongue. Not too far fetched of an idea, you thought. It gently pressed against your side, almost like an affectionate dog, if dogs were slightly damp and had the faint odor of ozone.

Deals go both ways...

You obligingly leaned on it, gradually transferring all of your weight. Apparently taking that as permission, it slicked up your arm, halting just below your head.

If this thing - you really needed to be fairer and treat it like a person, as a ‘he’ and not an ‘it’, since the NPC seemed to be fully sapient - knew about your frequently-cleared search history, then he would also know you didn’t like the harsher and more violent types of vore.

A professional salesman might make underhanded deals, but it would be a poor salesman indeed who failed to deliver on those shady promises.

It felt weird to think of yourself as ‘tasty’, but that was clearly Spamton’s opinion, tongue insistently scooting you to the smooth inside of his weird teeth and starting to cover you all over with whatever its equivalent of saliva was. Maybe your hitting the wrong letter on the SAVE screen was some sort of Freudian slip, or the game giving you a sly nudge and a knowing wink.

The average - the sane and normal - person would consider this to be a living nightmare, but you? You were loving this. You let out a contented sigh and finally allowed yourself to fully relax. The warmth and steady pressure was doing wonders for your acquired aches and pains.

Aches and pains that Spamton NEO had caused, beating the absolute crap out of you in your battle.

Were you the equivalent of a boss encounter, one where you needed to FIGHT to lower the enemy's willpower? You certainly never would have admitted to this otherwise...

He absolutely owed you a massage for that. Not really the best start to a business relationship, now was it?

His jaw creaked open just enough for you to see back out through it. When had he traveled to the Dark Fountain? Eh, didn't really matter.

You were tipped very deliberately over the row of teeth, tucked safely down in the confines of Spamton's cheek pocket.

"AND NOW. [Player 1]. WITNESS THE [alternating current] OF SPAMTON [NEO] EX."

'Ex'? You hoped you weren't about to be in the middle of an explosion.

You waited expectantly, practically seeing the

(* . . . )

scroll in the text box.

"MY [power level], IT’S STILL NOT [over 9000]!"

The words were pretty well garbled - he was clearly trying very hard not to hurt you - but they were laden with helpless anger. You actually felt bad for Spamton; seemed a real person was insufficient, or perhaps incompatible with the wherever-you-were. In the game’s Normal Route, he hadn’t attacked your party until noticing he was still trapped by the computer cables masquerading as puppet strings.

The crackle of TV static failed to mask what was clearly a wail of utter despair.

At a loss for what to do, you wriggle one arm free and pat the cheek surface. Hopefully he could feel it, your attempt to offer some measure of comfort. You’d tried. You’d really really tried, and even wanted him to succeed.

A knot twisted in your stomach; you’d never felt such strong emotion towards a simple videogame character. Susie’s words to Kris in the beginning of Chapter 1 when the game wouldn’t let you pick a dialogue option echoed in your mind - ‘Your choices don’t matter.’ Seemed that had been directed at you and the other players after all, not the in-game character Kris. All you’d done was give him false hope.

"FINE." Sure didn't sound 'fine' to you. "FIREWALL ACTIVE. ALL [sales] FINAL. [Frequent flier miles] NOT ELIGIBLE FOR REFUND." Intensely frustrated, but not angry. Or at least, not angry at you, fortunately.

Working his jaw awkwardly, he fished you back out and swished his tongue over you one last time before propelling you to the rear of his mouth. You’d have been fibbing if you’d said this next part didn’t make you even more nervous.

You were over the edge before you knew it, unable to so much as yelp in shock as your entire world collapsed into a tiny cylinder.

Tight. So tight that you could barely draw in even a half breath. The 'gulp' of a swallow sounded more like a 'click' followed by the 'whirr' of whatever was squeezing you down his throat. Despite trying to take shallow breaths, you felt dizzy. Or was that just the blood rushing to your head?

You almost didn't notice when you'd left his throat, since the stomach-analogue was similarly lacking in space. The only real clue was the cessation of dispassionate swallows.

Once you were fully inside the thankfully-much-drier chamber you heard what sounded like a semi truck's air brakes. Was that a sigh?

Even though your end of the deal was just loaning the Power of Determination found in human SOULs - or rather, attempting to - you were still kind of glad Spamton had enjoyed eating you. After all, your favorite scenarios involved the predator character being just as pleased as its prey, a mutual satisfaction. ‘Vore as a comfort mechanism’, the meme went. Even if he didn't get the resultant power he’d wanted, at least he’d scored a delicious ‘snack’ out of it.

You realized you were blushing again; seems you really were ‘vore trash’. You knew you’d be hyper-critical of every piece of vore media you found from here on out. tHaT's NoT hOw It WoRkS, you thought with a grin.

Resting your head on the pebbled-but-yielding material, you realized that neither of you had so much as mentioned duration. Not that you minded being in-

Um... Where exactly were you?

How long had it taken him to swallow you? It felt like forever, but couldn’t have been all that long; the robotic neck hadn’t looked nearly so thin from the outside.

If it was indeed Mettaton had drafted this body with Swatch - probably in Paint, going from how tastelessly the color scheme clashed - then you have serious questions about that NPC; what exactly was a depressed ghost that wanted to be an attractive robot thinking, making something like this!?

You took in a breath of air that tasted alarmingly like fried circuits, ready to ask just how long Spamton planned on holding you, and if he knew how to get you back to your world, then a pleasant breeze tousled your hair. Oh good, no worrying about oxygen; you would neither suffocate nor asphyxiate.

Totally safe, the only enemy with higher HP than his NEO form was the Giga Queen, and he could boost his Defense to an insane level at the end of a Snowgrave Route, so all you had to worry about was if Spamton experienced the coding glitch equivalent of a psychotic break and tried hurting you.

Now, if only you had the room to stretch out...

"[Dial up] CONNECTION ESTABLISHED." Wow, now that sound was a blast from the past.

The walls around you suddenly crackled with static, some remaining black - their cathode tubes probably burnt out - while most displayed the old test card bars, like pixels, countless miniature TV screens forming the surface of his stomach.

All but a couple, comprising two circles - just a few feet in diameter - directly in front of you shut off. They looked like his glasses... Could he see in here!?

The circles swept up and around, back and then down, evidently focusing on you.

"It seems I'm too broke[n] to [afford] a spacious [apartment]."

There it was, the semi-lucidity after a battle’s end. Chapter 2 had the most minor of Easter eggs regarding Tasque Manager and Jevil, so it was highly unlikely you or any other player would learn what had twisted either secret boss’ mind.

"You don’t hear me complaining." You curled up, managing to twist yourself the other way so you were reclining rather than laying down at an angle. "It’s pretty nice in here." ‘And you handed me my ass in battle,’ you decided against saying.

"[Some assembly required.]" A dry critique.

"Hey, um..." You watched as several screens dimmed to static and back to dull coloration, Spamton apparently struggling to get his new body's glitches under control. "I'm really... I'm sorry."

The yellow oval moved upward a few inches while the magenta one stayed put. You thought that was like raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't deliver on my promise. You gave me everything I asked for, but you couldn't use SOUL power at all. Even if that wasn't going back on the deal, I'm still sorry."

Everything went dark again and you startled, not sure if you were concerned more for yourself, or for Spamton. But the screens came back to life right away... was that a blink?

"I WAS NEVER IN IT FOR THE POWER. FOR THE [Kromer]. FREEDOM. THE FREEDOM TO MAKE MY OWN [download now!]. MY OWN CHOICES. AND. I FOUND ANOTHER SATISFIED [customer]!"

You chuckled. "Me? Or you?"

There was that annoying laugh again. "A SUCCESSFUL [meal]."

Yep. He meant himself. You didn’t mind in the slightest; in fact, you were probably more happy even than you were embarrassed.

You reached out your hand, as filled with the Power that was surely Determination as you had been when making your 'Taster' SAVE file, and tapped the space between the colored ovals. "I don’t know where ‘here’ is in relation to the real world, if it’s an instance on someone’s computer or what, or whose computer that would be, but just in case... I’ll make sure to send Kris by."

What if you played a new Snowgrave route, but stopped at the final SAVE point before fighting Spamton NEO, pulled that save file and move it to a secure position on your computer in an entirely different folder? That would be as close as you could get, in reality, to fulfilling the NPC’s quest. Hopefully you’d remember when you woke up from this really-not-half-bad dream.

"I WON'T FORCE YOU. I CAN'T. I CAN'T FORCE YOU. BUT. A VALUED [customer] MAKING A [comeback tour]? MY [clearance special] WILL HAVE A [membership card] ONLY ON [layaway]."

"Got it. I’ll keep that in mind." This was all so stupidly bizarre, you wanted to blow up a friend’s phone with DM notifications, but would they honestly believe you’d had such a strange and vivid dream? Far too good to be true, so it definitely had to be a dream.

-----------------

You blinked your eyes out of sync. Had you fallen asleep? If so, that was one [Holy Cungadero] hell of a dream. Super weird, too, though the details were fading quickly.

You sat up and yawned, stretching your arms over your head. You were so sore; napping at your desk hadn't done your back any favors.

Hang on, what was that in your hand? Oh, just those silly thrift store glasses.

... Did they always have that paper price tag on it? Fastened with instrument - looked like guitar - strings? There was writing on it, too.

//THANK YOU, VALUED [Taste Tester]! YOUR FREE TRIAL HAS [frozen]. Please purchase a subscription in order to [Reload] for the low low price of [$19.97] per month!//

... You are never going to toss these.

-----------------

A/N:

I headcanon that the stomach in Spamton's NEO form is actually up in his chest cavity, and the yellow triangle is a screen that displays the SOUL of any Lightner prey.

“the Google Bing” physically hurt me to type out

(G)ASTER was originally just going to be a jab at Theorists, but it wound up being significant

The dialogue - especially Spamton’s - is not up to my usual exacting standards, but I think it’s good enough for this little project.

'>delete' and '...Are you sure?'/'(Wrong choice...?)'/'(* . . . )' were supposed to be two different fonts separate from the main font

If you enjoyed, please feel free to give me a little feedback (and/or AO3 kudos), it really helps with my motivation.

#deltavore #Spamvore NEO #soft vore #safe vore #clean vore #willing vore #willing prey #gt vore #extreme cuddling #vore writing #vore fic #vore drabble #Vore Day #FQA writing

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