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devildomditzy · 4 months ago

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Devildom Ditzy's Birthday Bash

Here it is, in all its long-as-hell glory.

It's hard to celebrate turning 24, just like it's hard to celebrate growing up in general. This is for everyone that could use this today. Whether you enjoy your birthday, or hate it, hopefully this is one story you can enjoy for yourself.

No trigger warnings, besides language, a very small mention of blood from vigorous teeth brushing, and heavy mentions of birthdays (lol)

Happy birthday to you, whenever it is <3

You wake up to the sound of your screaming alarm, exhausted but obligated to start your day. As you stretch out and trudge to the bathroom to brush your teeth, you remember exactly what day it was. Wow. You forgot it was your own birthday? That's a new one. You shrug to yourself and continue your morning routine.

Birthdays used to be something exciting and important as a kid. Once you started to get older and the years passed by, its significance became less and less prominent to you, instead being replaced with the dread of getting older. Another step towards the inevitable. Hell, with the type of stuff you're subjected to down here in the Devildom, you assume you always have one foot in the grave anyway. Maybe... you should talk to Thirteen about that...

Well, there's one thing you can take solace in today, its the fact that you forgot what day it was. If you were that forgetful about the day you were born, there's no way any of the guys would have remembered. Except for maybe Luke. If he wrote down it in his calendar the first day he met you. And if he was there to remind them, maybe Simeon and Solomon would remember. Solomon was iffy, as he's so old himself you doubt he's keeping track of time in general. Hopefully the biggest fuss they'd make about you would be calling you over to Purgatory Hall for a slice of whatever birthday cake Luke conjured up. And if he asked for help baking it, maybe Barbatos would know too... and he'd tell Diavolo. And Diavolo would make it a national Devildom holiday or something.. You wouldn't put it past him.

And Diavolo would tell...

No. There's no way the brothers know when your birthday is. You don't remember telling any of them specifically. And none of them had mentioned anything about it approaching. None of them had been acting shifty either, and that's saying something. You know at least Levi and Asmo are terrible at keeping secrets. Mammon too if you pay him to spill gossip on any given being in the realm, family or not.

You shake yourself from your daze, spitting into the sink and seeing a mix of fluoride and blood. Whoops. Your thoughts had you brushing your teeth way too long. Splashing water on your face, you attempt to bring yourself back to reality to finish getting ready to go downstairs.

You slip on your RAD uniform and straighten out the jacket. Damn, birthdays are good for one thing. Maybe if you had told Lucifer, he would have let you skip today, or at the very least sleep in. Yawning, you look in the mirror, adjusting your hair so you look at least presentable. You mindlessly open the door to the hallway, meandering as you make your way down to the dining hall. You're in absolutely no rush to go to school. But as you approach the room, something shocking pulls you out of your stupor;

It was quiet.

Like, dead quiet.

You speed up your pace, now worried about what you'd find.

And you're surprised to find Lucifer sitting by himself, sipping on some kind of concoction, eyes meeting yours as soon as you walked in.

"Ah, good morning, MC."

"Morning, Lucifer. Where is everybody?"

He closes his eyes as he begins to sip his drink once more. "Have you forgotten its Saturday?"

You mentally face palm. Right, Saturday. No school. And here you are with your R.A.D. uniform on, looking dumb as hell.

"But it's a good thing you're dressed and ready to go. Lord Diavolo has requested your assistance."

"Oh, with what?", you question. This was out of left field.

"Extra student council work. It particularlly relates to the exchange program, so it will be you going. I will accompany you, of course."

"Oh, okay... I guess. Some kind of warning would have been nice", you mutter to yourself.

"Is there a problem, MC?", he questions in that intimidating tone that kind of still scares you to this day.

"N-no, not at all. I guess I'm ready to go."

"Excellent, then let us be off."

"No! C'mon, I told ya to the left!"

"Mammon, that's your right."

"You know what I meant!"

Hands on his hips, Mammon stands a few feet back, scrutinizing his brothers at their best attempts at following his not-so-clear instructions.

"Well if you don't like how we're doing it, why don't you do it yourself?", Levi snaps from his place on the left side of the Happy Birthday banner he holds in his hands.

"Yeah, Mammon! I don't wanna break a nail right before the party!", Asmo whines on his own ladder, holding the right side of the banner.

"Oh I'm sorry, I don't remember raising a bunch of whiners!", Mammon slides his sunglasses he refuses to take off even inside down the bridge of his nose to leer at the two youngers.

"You didn't raise us at all!", Levi exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Well I'm older than ya, that should count for somethin'", Mammon says matter of factly.

As Levi throws his hands up in disbelief at his incredulous older brother, the motion causes the other side of the banner to slip through Asmo's hands, half of the letters spelling "Birthday" scattering to the ground.

"Oh, great. That's great. Great job, you two", Mammon crosses his arms, clearly annoyed.

"You know, you're lucky this is for MC!", Levi sighs, growing increasingly tired at Mammon's attitude.

"Oh yeah? And why's that?", Mammon challenges back, not helping the situation at all.

"Becaaaause, if it wasn't, neither of us would be helping you. You should be thanking us!". Asmo remains cheery as he hops back down the latter, carefully bending down to pick up the unstrung letters to add them back to the banner. "You know we're only doing it for them!".

"Of course we're only doing it for them, you think we would go through all this trouble for you?", Satan groans, rolling his eyes as he walks by the three to set down the decorations in his hands, stopping to take stock of what was left to hang up.

"Wha- Now why'd you gotta go and say that for!", Mammon pouts back at the fourth born.

"Can you stop trying to boss people around and actual help for once?", Satan questions, roughly shoving a roll of streamers into Mammon's hands. "Here, make yourself useful."

"Tch!", Mammon grunts under his breath, but takes the streamers all the same, walking towards the supplies and grabbing a roll of tape off the table.

While the halls of the House of Lamentation could already be considered ornate, the boys were doing their best to kick it up a notch. It was a surprise party for you of all people, of course they were going to do everything they can to make it as extra as possible.

"So, is this still a surprise? Or have you already accidentally blabbed off to them", Satan asks, not sparing a glance to Mammon as he began to unroll his own set of streamers.

"Wow, ya really have that little faith in your big brother, eh?"

"Well, you follow them around like a lost dog 24/7. Chances are you already slipped up and told them something".

"W-well.. uh...", Mammon wracks his brain trying to remember exactly what he said to you that could have kind of maybe accidentally a little teeny bit ruined their plans for your party.

"So you did, didn't you!", Levi raises his voice, now taping his side of the banner to the wall.

Asmo takes a sharp gasp as he adheres his side as well. "J'accuse!"

"I-I didn't! I swear! At least I think", Mammon defends himself, muttering the last part under his breath.

Before the other three can begin to press him, the heavy front doors of the HOL swing open, two figures walking in side by side.

"We're back", Belphie calls out, walking into the house, cake in hand.

"Oh, good. How's it look?", Satan wonders, setting down the supplies in his hand to walk towards the youngest, leaning over the box in his hand.

"It held up great on the trip back", he responds.

"Sorry it took so long", Beel says to no one in particular, nodding his head affirmatively.

"I think Beel ate every other dessert they had for sale", Belphie chuckles, looking to his twin who smiles in response.

"Well, thank you for leaving this one in tact", Satan says, relieved that somehow sending gluttony to pick up your birthday cake did not end poorly.

"Of course. I'll always share my desserts with MC", Beel states, face super serious as if to show how important this was to him.

"We'll go put this in the fridge. Need help with anything else?", questions Belphie.

Satan shakes his head in response, a small smile making its way to his face. "No, no. We've only got decorations left over here and I think the four of us have it handled. Have you heard from MC yet?"

Belphie hands the cake off to Beel, taking his D.D.D. out of his pocket to check his notifications, pushing his hair out of his face to look at the screen. "Not in a bit. The last I heard they complained that Lucifer was making them go help Diavolo with official R.A.D. junk. That was about two hours ago".

"Wow, they must really got 'em runnin around. They haven't even texted me back yet", Mammon looks at his phone is disbelief.

"They haven't texted any of us back, Mammon", Levi reminds the former.

"Yeah, but I'm their first! They text me a whole of a hell lot more than you lot!"

"That's because you text them incisively", Satan remarks, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, clearly becoming annoyed.

"But-"

"Can you shut up and keep helping me hang these?", Satan turns towards Mammon, clearly trying his best not to lash out.

"Gah! Fine.", Mammon grumbles as he makes his way towards the back wall of the room. "Hey, fish brain, primadonna, come help me out, would ya?"

Levi's anger begins to boil to the surface once more as he snatches the streamers out of Mammon's hands. "Again. You are so, so lucky this is for them", he spits vitriol as begins to unroll the bundle.

"Exactly, this is for them, so let's try to get along while we finish this, kay?", Asmo chimes in, walking over to help Levi begin to find a place to hang the crêpe paper.

"Right, then we'll be right back", Beel says as he and Belphie make their way towards the kitchen.

"Luke is also bringing a cake, so can you leave room in the fridge for his?", Satan calls out to them as they go.

"Oh, don't worry. I'll make room", Beel confirms, speeding up to begin eating enough stuff out of the fridge so that both cakes could be chilled.

"I didn't mean eat...the entire....ugh", Satan grunts, realizing there's no point in redirecting Beel when it comes to food. He looks to the watch on his wrist to gauge the time before turning back to help the others. He takes out his own D.D.D. and shoots a quick text in a secret group chat you had just so coincidentally been left out of.

OPERATION: S.U.R.P.I.R.I.S.E (12)

Satan: We're almost done over here, what's your ETA Lucifer?

Lucifer: We'll finish up soon. MC is still under the impression that this work is critical for the student council. I believe they are almost done.

Satan: Seems everything is going smoothly then?

Lucifer: I'd like to say that but...

Before Lucifer can finish his message, a picture of a very, very happy Lord Diavolo holding something very colorful in his hands pops up on the screen.

Diavolo: Satan! Look at what Barbatos and I procured at the store for MC! It's one of those colorful horses humans whack with sticks to celebrate! I believe it's called a pen-yada!

Barbatos: Pinata, my lord.

Diavolo: Yes! Yes a pinata! Now more importantly, would any of you happen to have a very big stick?

Lucifer: For... what? Exactly?

Diavolo: Well MC is going to need something to open this up this paper pony thing with!

Barbatos: Donkey, my lord.

Satan: Lord Diavolo, not to be presumptuous but... what did you fill that thing with?

Diavolo: Oh ho ho! Wouldn't you like to know! But that's for me to know and MC to find out, right Lucifer?

Lucifer:...

Satan quickly backs out of the text thread to open one that is rarely touched; and messages his oldest brother.

1 & 4 (2)

Satan: What exactly is in that thing?

Lucifer: I am honestly not entirely sure.

Satan: Great. Could it kill a human?

Lucifer: I doubt Barbatos would have let him put anything lethal inside.

Satan: But do you know if Barbatos knows if its lethal to humans?

Lucifer:...

Lucifer: I will... be right back.

Satan's attention is ripped away from his phone screen when he hears his least favorite noise; the sounds of his brother's bitching yet again.

"It's crooked."

"How is it crooked?"

"What, do ya not have eyes?"

"Well it's hung isn't it? I didn't exactly see you running to do it yourself."

"I'm more of a watch and lead kinda guy."

"IF you'd two would be so kind", Satan starts, aiming his voice at Mammon and Levi, who had already begun to argue again, "MC will be on their way home any minute now. Can you get your act together before they walk in and witness this tragedy?"

The boys grumble under their breaths but stop all the same. They know the journey from the demon lord's castle to the HOL isn't that far, so now it was crunch time.

While Levi, Mammon, and Asmo finish up decorations, Satan, Beel, and Belphie begin to set up the rest of the party, setting out various foods and refreshments.

A knock at the door startles everyone, causing the room to fall to a hush, all eyes now staring at the front door.

"Can somebody open the door? This thing is really heavy!"

A collective sigh falls over the room as Beel walks to the front door and lets Luke, Simeon, and Solomon into the common room.

Beel takes the cake from Luke's hands, beginning to walk towards the kitchen.

"H-Hey! Give that back, you big oaf!", Luke shouts up at Beel who doesn't even question his insult.

"What? You said it was heavy? I'm gonna put it in the fridge next to the one Belphie and I got them."

"O-oh", Luke suddenly looks both relieved and sheepish, looking over to Simeon only to be met with that face Simeon makes at him when he knows he needs to apologize for being rude to anyone. "Sorry, Beel."

"We appreciate the help", Simeon beams at Beel in his own attempt to smooth everything over.

"So, do you need help with anything else? I hear MC could be arriving back at the house at any moment", Solomon asks, directing his question at Satan.

"I believe that's it, besides the presents. Would you mind-"

Solomon cuts him off before he can finish his sentence, "No at all, show me the way."

As the two finish up bringing all the gifts downstairs, setting them on the table across from the snacks, everyone's D.D.D.'s buzz with a text message.

OPERATION: S.U.R.P.I.R.I.S.E (12)

Lucifer: We are almost there. Prepare yourselves.

"You heard the man, everyone get to hidin'", Mammon shoos everyone off into different corners of the room where they would be invisible from the door's threshold.

And they wait.

And... they wait.

And? They wait?

OPERATION: S.U.R.P.I.R.I.S.E (12)

Mammon: Lucifer, what the hell's goin' on, huh? We've been hidin' for like ten minutes now!

Lucifer: Something has happened, give me a moment.

There are confused murmurs and worried looks exchanged as the whole room waits for another update. Another five minutes passes by.

Mammon: Yo! Lucifer, what the hell?

Asmo: Yeah, is everything alright?

There is still no response from any member of the group that was traveling back to the house with you.

"Ugh! I can't take this anymore. I'm gonna ask them what's up", Mammon exclaims, beginning to text furiously.

"Hold it! Give them a minute. I'm sure there's a logical explanation as to why they are late", Satan reasons, not able to hide the worry also reflected onto his face.

Another five minutes...

Partners in Crime (2)

Mammon: Hey, where the hell are ya?

Mammon: You're really startin' to freak me out right now.

Mammon: And Lucifer won't answer his phone.

Mammon: If you're in trouble you better summon me right now, dammit!

Mammon starts down at his phone in quiet desperation hoping to hear something, anything from you. Please.

Finally, after another few minutes pass by, his phone dings back.

Partners in Crime (2)

MC: I'm fine.

MC: And I really appreciate it.

MC: But I kinda just really wanna be alone right now, okay?

MC: Can you tell the guys I'm fine?

Mammon grunts in frustration, annoyed by your nonchalantness about the situation.

"Are they okay?", Asmo asks, worry clearly laced in his voice.

"Yeah, Mammon, tell us what they said!", Luke echos back, also clearly afraid.

"Just gimmie a minute, alright!", Mammon stresses, beginning to type again.

Partners in Crime (2)

Mammon: Whaddya mean tell them you're alright?

Mammon: Get over here and tell them yourself, dammit!

MC: Mammon, I'm fine, okay. I'm gonna turn off my D.D.D., I need to spend some time alone, okay?

Mammon: Ya know, I really don't like it when you're all ominous!

MC: Mammon, I already know. Diavolo let it slip on the way home. I really do appreciate it, but I just want to be by myself today, alright?

Mammon: Now why the hell would anyone want to be alone on their birthday? You're being ridiculous.

MC: Have you ever stopped to think about how I feel towards my birthday? I've never told any of you about it. I don't even know how you found out, besides Lucifer peeking at my R.A.D. files without me knowing.

Mammon: Can you stop being humble just for today? Let us celebrate ya. Now tell me where you are so I can pick you up.

Mammon: MC?

Mammon: MC, ya better answer me!

Mammon: I swear when I get ahold of ya I'll...

Mammon: Okay, I don't know what I'll do. But that's besides the point. We already set up all this party stuff for you! We need ya here.

Mammon gets no response from you as his phone gets a notification from a different chat.

OPERATION: S.U.R.P.I.R.I.S.E (12)

Asmo: C'mon Lucifer! What's going on?

Diavolo: I believe... this is my fault.

Diavolo: I got a little too excited about experiencing a real human birthday party, and I kind of let the cat out of the bag so to say.

Diavolo: I believe whatever I said must have offended them, as they ran off. We we're almost there too.

Diavolo: Lucifer told us to wait here while he went after them but I believe he is having trouble finding them himself.

Diavolo: I'm truly sorry. I did not intend to upset them, especially on their birthday. Though, I'm not exactly sure what I did that was so upsetting.

Mammon: I got ahold of 'em but they quit answerin'. Said they want to be alone

Asmo: Alone on your birthday? No way! Why would they want that? :(

Mammon: No clue, but they seemed really upset.

Mammon: I need to find 'em.

Levi: Are you sure we shouldn't just give them space?

Mammon: Nah, I kinda have a feelin' somethin' else is going on. I'll start looking.

Lucifer: Good luck with that. I've searched high and low and I don't have the faintest idea of where they could have run off to.

Mammon looks up from his phone to look at everyone in the room's uneasy faces.

"Well, how about a search party?", questions Solomon. The room begins to murmur in agreement before Mammon speaks up.

"Nah nah nah, no. I got this. Let's not overwhelm them, alright?"

"Why should you get to be the one to go find them?", questions Levi, obviously jealous.

"Well I'm the only one they texted back, ain't I? They're my human, what kinda guardian would I be if I didn't look for their sorry ass?"

Luke's eyes well up with tears. "I-I hope they're okay... they didn't even get the chance to try the cake I made them...". Simeon places a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry Luke, Mammon's going to take care of it, isn't that right Mammon?".

"Yeah, I'm on it pipsqueak, don't even worry 'bout it".

"Oh, that makes me feel soooo much better", Luke refutes in the most sarcastic voice he can muster before taking a beat and adding on at the end, "Please make sure they're okay, Mammon."

"Yeah, I got it kid."

Mammon ruffles Luke's hat into his hair before glancing at his D.D.D. one more time.

"I'll let y'all know when I find them, so keep your ringer on. But don't go swarmin' them either, okay? I need to figure out what's goin' on with them".

"Right", Satan gives a firm nod, one hand on his chin. "We'll be here".

Mammon gives a curt nod back before heading out the door. Well, at least he knows you're not at home, so he can rule that one out. If only this whole summonin' thing worked both ways. He could just appear in front of ya right now and make everythin' okay again. Why couldn't your stubborn ass just summon him? If you're going to sulk on your birthday, wouldn't you like a sulking buddy?

He's thankful that he knows you well enough. That'd he'd be the one to find you, to find you first. That'd mean he'd be first to see you, first to check up on you, first to comfort you, first to hold you.

Okay. He's getting ahead of himself.

Well, there's not very many places a human could hide in the Devildom and be safe, and even less places where you could hide and be alone. And he knows you're not stupid enough to put yourself in danger.

Not without him there.

Process of elimination finds him where he thinks he'd be most likely to find you, the edge of the forest near the HOL. It's peaceful there. You had dragged him to that spot time and time again to just sit and stare at the lake ahead.

He's relieved but not shocked when he sees your slouched over form sitting on the ground, hands picking at and ripping individual grass blades out of the ground while you stared intently at them.

He watches you for a moment before speaking. He doesn't want to scare you, so he clears his throat first. "Care to tell me why ya wanna spend your birthday alone, torturin' innocent blades of grass in the woods? Can't say it's my thing, but it does make ya look kind of weird. But to each their own".

You give a quick little "ha", before shifting your attention back down at the ground, finding your shoelaces now very interesting.

Well, a 'ha' is better than nothin'. Honestly he's just happy you didn't ignore him, or tell him to go away.

He slowly approaches and sits down next to you on the ground, watching you twirl the aglet between your fingers.

"Tell me what's goin' on with ya, huh? It's not like ya to just run off like that. Had everyone worried sick 'bout ya."

You make a solemn noise, not looking up, continuing your fidgeting. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize, just...just talk to me, okay? What's goin' on up there?", he says, exemplifying his point by poking you in the forehead, causing you to giggle a very small amount.

"There ya are', he smiles back at you - but can't hide the concern on his face.

You finally drop the lace from your hand and scoot to face him. He meets your eyes and waits patiently, just like he always does. Infinitely patient, just for you.

You take a long breath, breathing out hard before starting. "I've... never told any of you when my birthday is."

He waits, letting you continue to speak.

"There's a reason for that. I don't... I'm not comfortable... ugh. This sucks."

He puts an arm around your shoulder and pulls you into an awkward -'you're-both-sitting-on-the-ground-criss-cross-applesauce-so-its-very-uncomfortable' half hug. What? It's the best he can do in this situation, in the current position you're both sitting in. Don't judge him.

You look ahead, now refusing to make eye contact as you continue. "I don't like birthdays. Or my birthday specifically really. I don't exactly have... fond memories of it. Like at all."

He waits a second to see if you have anymore to say before he speaks. "Yeah? Is that right?", his face hardens. The idea of you never feeling happy on the day you're supposed to be at your happiest does something to him, and it's not good.

"I stopped expecting to celebrate any of them very early on. It was just another day really. Most the time everyone would forget anyway. So, I just let them. It... doesn't exactly make for the best day."

"So the idea of celebratin' upsets you?"

"Yeah. I guess something like that. I really appreciate what you and the others were trying to do for me, I really do! But... it just brings back awful memories", you say, resuming to pull at the grass around you again.

"I getcha. We all had a problem with birthdays too for awhile."

"You did?", you question, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, heh. Another birthday just meant another year marking how long ago we fell. And ya know... how long ago we lost Lilith. And Satan, man, he had the worst time with birthdays. He was always so enraged, mad that he was born from Lucifer's image, and he sure as hell didn't want to celebrate that. And we didn't make him."

"You didn't?"

"Nah. We just left each other alone on those days. It was kinda an unspoken words kind of thing. But overtime, we all became more comfortable with the idea of bein' here. We got happier about the life we were livin' now, so it just felt right to start celebratin' em."

"I see", you respond, your grass pulling movements ceasing.

"Do you think you'd wanna give that a shot? Celebratin', I mean."

You stay quiet as he tries to catch your gaze. "We've already got the whole party set up. Balloons, presents, the whole nine yards. Luke even made ya a cake and if ya don't try it I think he'll cry so hard he'll throw up".

You giggled at his anecdote, "He so would not."

"He so would! He was so worried about ya, asked me to bring you home safe."

You sniffle a little. "He did?"

"Yeah dummy, everyone did. If you haven't noticed, we all really care aboutcha a whole lot."

You smile at his words. "I'm well aware of that".

"Then," he stands up, dusting himself off then reaching a hand out to you to help you stand, "why don't ya give it a shot. Now, I won't make ya do anything you don't want to do, but I know everyone's just really excited to see ya. We can treat it like a normal day if you really want. But, why don't ya let the people that care aboutcha take care of you for today, huh?"

You pause for a second, looking up at him.

"I promise I won't let anythin' happen to ya. And if you get there and decide you just wanna go straight to your room, then that's what we'll do. But c'mon, won'tcha at least give it a chance?"

You let out a sigh before giving a small smile and taking his hand.

"Atta human", he beams, pulling you up to your feet.

"Now c'mon, we got a very important human to celebrate."

As you begin to walk back towards the HOL, hand in hand, he wonders aloud.

"So, how exactly did Dia spoil it for ya?"

"He asked me if I'd ever seen a pen-yada."

"Of course he did."