#numbers 1-20 song for children

[i-upset-to-dead-65]

How I imagine Snow's progression of being reminded of Lucy Gray throughout the Hunger Games trilogy

1. Katniss volunteers. How cute. She has no chance of living past the bloodbath. Her name sounds familiar.

2. Katniss scores an 11 in training. So what she shot an arrow at the game makers. Well, that 11 will put a target on her and she's no match for the rest.

3. Peeta reveals he is in love with Katniss. What an interesting angle. Definitely some kind of ploy. Viewership will be up, as well as sponsors. Interesting to see how this plays out.

4. Katniss is trapped by the careers and Peeta. Aw, look, she dropped a hive on her boyfriend. Looks like she doesn't like him after all.

5. Katniss allies with Rue. Odd, and a terrible choice for an ally.

6. Rue mentions her pin, a mockingjay. The connection is made. Katniss, that swamp potato dug up by Lucy Gray and her mockingjays that still infest the districts. His dislike for Katniss grows.

7. Rue dies and Katniss sings the Meadow Song to her. A jolt runs up his spine. That old song, sung to Maude Ivory by Lucy Gray. It's still around in District 12 and now it's on national television. Snow knows how much the Capitol loves singing tributes.

8. The new rules are announced. This will be interesting. Of course, there's no way Peeta will live long enough for there to actually be two victors.

9. Katniss and Peeta are in the cave, and Peeta begins to recover. The huge influx of sponsored gifts is concerning. Katniss will hopefully die at the Feast trying to get medicine.

10. Peeta makes a full recovery. That wasn't supposed to happen, but the Capitol loves it.

11. Cato dies. Seneca didn't think they'd get this far. Time to revoke the rule change. Katniss will kill Peeta or vice versa. These children barely know each other, and in the Games they resort to their basic human nature of violence. Oh look, she's even pointing her bow at him.

12. The berries. The double victory. Seneca Crane is a dead man. They have outsmarted the idiot game makers. Snow is once again reminded of his cheating in order to help Lucy Gray win. How well that turned out for her in the end.

13. After the games. Snow is certain they are putting on an act to survive and meanwhile, defy the Capitol. Peeta is good with the crowd and is quick witted. So much like Lucy Gray. Katiss is impulsive and heartfelt. So much like Sejanus.

14. Snow learns Katniss hunts in the woods, he possibly traces her lineage, and he finds out everything he can about her. Snow takes measures to quell the rebellion brewing and control Katniss and Peeta throughout Catching Fire.

15. Katniss's wedding dress burns away into a Mockingjay dress. That damn bird again.

16. The force field gets blown out, and tributes escape. Snow recalls when the 10th Hunger Games arena was bombed.

17. Katniss's first propo is televised in the districts, declaring herself the Mockingjay. He should have killed all those birds when he had a chance.

18. The Hanging Tree propo airs. He'd almost forgotten Lucy Gray's songs. How could this girl, now, know them? The song was banned, Lucy Gray was dead. She was dead, right?

19. The rebels in District 5 sing the Hanging Tree while blowing up the damn. Chills run up his spine as he watches the live feed. A crowd of an indiscernable number flood the walkways to the hydro dam. They're singing a song they didn't know yesterday. A song no one knew until now. A song that was as dead as Lucy Gray. Except, she wasn't dead. How could she be, if her song is still sung? The dam blows and the lights go out in the Capitol. Snow half expects the ghost of Lucy Gray herself to appear before him.

20. The war is over. The Mockingjay has won. She appeared from nowhere, echoing the songs of Lucy Gray like the birds themselves. Well played, Lucy Gray. Well played.

[kurokawaia]

❛ RUN, BABY. RUN ❜

Yandere! Sanzu Haruchiyo X Fem!Reader

WC; 3k+ | !MDNI! | TW/CW :: OVERALL WARNINGS Yandere themes dark content, inexperienced!reader, timid!shy!reader, pet names 'baby' 'doll' + more, drugs (sanzu's part), alcohol, clubs, age gap -> reader is implied to be around 20-22, reader is described to be shorter than Sanzu, smut, nsfw, piv, no protection, begging, rough sex? missionary, oral -> female receiving, male receiving, doggy, marking, possessive, possession, restriction, kidnapping?, biting? eventual predator play, based on the song runrunrun by dutch melrose + more

⋆·˚ ༘ *𝒮𝒴𝒩𝒪𝒫𝒮𝐼𝒮 :: meeting Sanzu in that club and accepting that one offer to dance with him, that was when you should've said no, then maybe, you wouldn't be in this situation you are in now.

m.list | tokyo revengers m.list - PART 1 / PART 2

You knew it was a lousy idea going out in a group of three-well, it would have been four if one of your best friends hadn't pulled out last minute. Of course, you knew her reasoning, though-being a mother was hard, and sometimes men just don't cut it to look after children all by themselves. There are two main problems. 

The three of you was one, whereby if one wanted to go to the bathroom, someone had to accompany the other, leaving one person behind to look after the drinks. That wasn't much of a problem. It was this club that was the problem. One of the high-class clubs in Tokyo. Still in shock how your friend had gotten in this club in the first place. You were surrounded by strangers, awaiting the return of your two friends from the toilet. As much as you hated to say it, you did feel frightened, the men in the club were so intimidating, they were considerably older than you, really old, more than likely there for the female strippers and waitress. Not to mention, of course. the group of men on the second level, overlooking everyone at the club. Counting them, you count eight; even from down below at the bar, you could tell just by those suits that they were probably the most powerful people here. You turned your back to the scene of people, swiveling in your chair to face the bar, resting your chin on the palm of your hand as your eyes warily watched the drinks to make sure no one put anything in them. Absent-mindedly, you swirled the drink in your hand, you hadn't had one sip, and you really didn't want to-you were too worried something might happen if you were to take a sip of the alcohol. You didn't know that this is a club owned by none other than Bonten, Japan's most feared criminal organization. More specifically, you caught the eye of one of their most dangerous members, number two, Sanzu Haruchiyo. Sanzu had moved off the red velvet couch, now leaning across the glass railing, a joint sitting in between his lips, looking down at you. Of course, you had caught his, no one dares to look up toward where the members of Bonten are. Also, he wanted to distance himself from Ran, who was on the verge of borderline fucking one of the waitresses. His eyes glint dangerously in the low light of the club, already plotting a next move as he watches you sit there, all alone, your gaze darting anxiously around. A wicked curve of his lips greets this view. "You're staring too hard, Sanzu," Ran Haitani teases, lips pulling away from the blonde he was making out with. Rindou snickers, taking a sip from his drink. "Think she's gonna run if she notices you?"

Kokonoi let a laugh fall out his lips, his head tilted to the side, and he placed his ankle over his other knee. "Agreed, Rindou." Sanzu barely spares them a glance, eyes never leaving you. "She's not going anywhere," he mutters. "She's mine." Ran, Rindou and Kokonoi share a knowing look between them. They have, after all, seen Sanzu take an interest in people like this before. but something feels off tonight. They can feel it in the way Sanzu's acting. And before they could utter another word, Sanzu pushed off the railing and strolled down the stairs from their longue. The crowd didn't part for him, rather, they knew that if they were in his way, they would die. Right there and then. And so the people made sure to move whenever he was close. You feel someone approach, glance up, and your heart skips a beat as your eyes meet his. Much taller than you had guessed, pink hair tousled in a messy manner, and a scar cutting across his lips-he looks so familiar, yet you can't seem to recall where you've seen him. His gaze pins you in place, hypnotizing blue eyes amidst his scars-he was beautiful, if anything, they added to his beauty. "You're sitting here all alone?" His voice is smooth that runs a shiver down your spine. He leans in closer, his breath ghosting against your ear as he adds, "That's a little dangerous, don't you think?" You swallow hard, unsure if intimidated is the feeling you're supposed to have. "My friends... they went to the bathroom," you manage to get out, your voice little more than a whisper over the music. A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. "Lucky for you, I'm here now." Sanzu's lips pull into a slow smirk. His eyes flick to the empty seats around you before landing back onto you. "And you think they'll be back for you soon?" You hesitate, taken aback by his question. He sounds playful, but there's something... 

"I.. I'm sure they'll be back any minute." "Mm," he hums, straightening slightly. His hand reaches out and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers linger for just a moment too long. "It's funny how people tend to disappear in places like this, isn't it?" You feel a tiny tremor of fear quiver through you, but it's drowned out by the way his fingers trail down the side of your neck, featherlight. Your skin tingles under his touch. His smile widens to see the hitch in your breath. 

"Relax," he whispers, though the way he spoke does little to settle your nervousness. "I'm not here to scare you." He cocked his head, his eyes narrowing only slightly, scanning your face. "I'm here to keep you company. Seems like you could use some, don't you think?"

Your heart pounds in your chest, and the look he's giving you -a predator with a mouse- makes it hard to think of anything but him. "I... I'm fine," you say, though it comes out far more uncertain than you hoped. "Really." "Fine?" He chuckles low. "Sitting all alone in a place like this, surrounded by strangers?" He leans in closer again, his lips brush against the shell of your ear as he speaks, his voice drops to an almost seductive whisper. "Seems like you're anything but fine." His proximity sends your mind reeling. His hand is warm, laid lightly on your knee under the table. You can hardly breathe, let alone find words with which to reply. "Lucky for you, I'm here," he adds, his voice teasing. His hand slides up your leg a little movement, tiny enough to catch your breath. You watch him, not knowing what to say, but before words can leave your lips, his other hand delicately tugs on your chin, forcing your gaze to meet his. 

"You don't seem like the type to be left behind. So, either your friends don't know what they've got." His thumb brushes your lower lip, lingering as his eyes turn dark. "Or maybe they're not coming back at all."

His thumb brushes your lower lip, and your breath catches as his eyes darken, sending the fire of heat coursing through you. You say nothing, not because you don't want to, but under the piercing weight of his gaze, the words die in your throat. There's just something in the way he looks at you... Sanzu's smile deepens at the silence. 

Not breaking his stare, he rises from his seat, his hand still clasping your chin lightly before his fingers trail down to take your hand. The touch is warm. He draws you slowly, deliberately to your feet. Nearly sated, you move instinctively as he guides you toward the dance floor. He doesn't stop until you're deep in the crowd. As soon as you are in the middle of the floor, he turns you around and moves your back flush against his chest. His arms slide around your waist, and instantly, your breath catches in your throat. You feel the heat of his body seep into yours as the crowd around you feels like a blur. Sanzu's head dips down as the warmth of his breath dances across the back of your neck, his lips close to your skin. "See?" he whispers, barely audible amongst the music. "Much better than sitting alone." Sanzu's hold on you tightens, his body pressing harder against yours, guiding your movements. His hands slide down your sides, lingering at your hips before pulling you even closer. You can feel the hard lines of his chest against your back, the heat in his breath as he leans down, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. "You like this, don't you?" he says low, dripping with seduction. "The attention. The way I'm touching you."

Sanzu's hand leaves your waist, quickly moving into the small pocket on his purple waistcoat, pulling out a red and white pill before quickly putting it into his mouth, and swallowing the drug. You saw, you noticed, but you didn't say anything, you just thought it was an ibuprofen. 

Sanzu could've collapsed in pleasure right there and then. He might just go crazy over the euphoric feeling. And he knows that once he has you underneath him, that feeling will only grow stronger. 

You looked so gorgeous in front of him, your back pressed flush against his chest, the way your body fit so so so perfectly against his own. You are so perfect, so innocent, something he wants to taint, he wants to break you. He wants to put you on a level to which you wouldn't be able to live without him, so that you would have to rely on him for every minuscule task in your life. 

A shiver runs down your spine, your skin abraded where his hands roam. Yet with the growing heat of the two bodies, your mind is unable to think straight. You shouldn't want this, not from a stranger, not in a place like this. Yet there is something about the way his body fits up against yours, something so headily dangerous, so alluring about him that makes rational thought impossible. His fingers dig into your hips, pressing closer until your back arches a little. Every shift of your body against his feels deliberate, teasing, as if he's testing just how far you're willing to go. His lips now graze the side of your neck, barely touching but enough to send a shockwave of desire through you. "Tell me," he whispers, his lips lightly grazing your skin. "Do you want me to stop?" Your lips part, but the words won't come out. You can't deny what your body does when he does this to you when a single touch from his fingers sets off a firework of nerves. His waistline cinches tighter against your body, and you feel him smile against your neck. "I'll take that as a no," he murmurs, the humour dripping like honey from his voice. His hands slip lower, barely, but the fingers stroke the hem of your dress in passing, spiking your pulse. All that matters is the press of his body against yours, the hands claiming you. "Come home with me," he repeats, his hot words against making butterflies swell up in your body. His hands trace slow, burning paths down your sides, his touch firing something deep inside. Your mind is racing, and your heart is pounding in your chest. You turn your head slightly, catching his gaze from the corner of your eye, his blue eyes, eyes whose pupils were so dilated, as if he was going into a frenzy. What was that pill he took? "Okay," you whisper, barely audible, but it's enough. "But..."

"Mmmm, Doll?" he questions, hands tightening on your body. 

"What was the pill you took? You are okay? R-Right?" you ask timidly.

Sanzu lowers his head closer to your neck, arms wrapping around your front like he is hugging you. "It was nothing, Baby," he reassured, arms tightening but it wasn't painful, in fact, it was quite relaxing and it felt... nice. "Promise you I'm alllllll good, I ain't crazy, baby."

If only you knew how much of a crazy and sadistic bastard he was before you said yes to going home with him. 

"You're... sure?" you ask softly.

"Of course, Doll."

You chew on your bottom lip. "Then... It won't be a problem."

Sanzu smirks, his hand coming up to your jaw, tilting your head back so you're looking up at him. "Good girl," he murmurs in a low tone, his pet name making your throat go dry, you hadn't ever been called... that before. His thumb runs across your bottom lip again before he leans down, his lips brushing against yours, teasingly close but not quite giving in. He pulls you from the dance floor in dead silence, the firm wrap of his hand around yours. There is no asking for permission. There is simply no need to. 

You are his now. 

And there's no going back.

You won't escape him now, you had a chance to say no, for him to leave you alone, but your naive self said yes.

How stupid you were.

As Sanzu guides you out of the club, you don't see it but Sanzu did, the way that his elder brother and the Haitani twins look down at him as he escorted you out of the club. Takeomi's facial expression... he didn't know how to deal with his younger brother, Haruchiyo was an adult so he could do as he pleases, but what he does with drugs and women... He just didn't know how to stop it.

You shivered slightly in the cold air the moment you stepped outside, your arms moving to cross themselves, your hands rubbing your upper arms, wanting to relieve the ice-like air, to soothe the goosebumps that rose over your skin. Almost a second later, you felt a soft, satin-like garment dropping over your shoulders. 

Looking up to your side, you see that Sanzu has placed his suit jacket over you, for the obvious, to keep you warm. Your cheeks flush pink as your eyes meet with his. "Thank you," you say timidly and a ghost of a kiss is what he places on the side of your head.

"No need to thank me, doll," he murmurs agasint your hair as he guides you to the parking lot.

A sleek black car parked in front of you and you knew that it was an expensive, really low-slung sports car, a black one with dark red accents. Your eyes widen when you see the brand, pointing to the emblem. "I know that one! Ferrari!" you say with a smile, looking up to Sanzu.

(that's just what I would do in that situation bc my ass is childish asf)

"Close, baby," Sanzu hums, a chuckle reverberating in his chest. You are cute, so so so cute, he can't wait to mend you in his own little toy. "It's Bugatti."

"Oh," you reply shortly, a pout on your lips.

You were so cute that he could almost kill you.

Almost.  He walks you toward the car, his hand never leaving yours. He lets go only to open the passenger door for you; his eyes flick up to meet yours as he does. There's a subtle shift in his expression, but you don't know what it is. 

You do know, however, that you were too curious to stay away.  "Get in," he says quietly, squeezing your waist underneath his jacket to which your hands were holding onto. You pause for a moment, then slide into the plush leather seat. Sleek inside as out, black leather, polished chrome, a scent of cologne, his cologne. Everything about his car screamed rich, and his suit, and his cologne. Everything. You wondered how someone as rich as him... how he managed to be captivated by innocent, timid you.

Sanzu closes the door for you, watching you trail your hands over the sides of the seat curiously and in awe. He circles the car and slips into the driver's seat. He says nothing and merely starts the engine, a growl reverberating throughout the vehicle, the vibrations shaking through you. You gaze out at the street as you pull out onto it, your eyes straying to Sanzu's hands easily on the steering wheel. It isn't until you glance down, though, that you catch something, the clench on the clutch is just a fraction too tight, his knuckles white against it. 

You wondered why he was doing so.

Why Sanzu was doing so? he is restraining himself from taking you right there and then, forcing himself to pay attention to the road and not how much of your thighs are exposed from your short dress. Every so often, you glance over at the sharp line of his jaw, the way his lips press into a thin line as he shifts gears. He was so beautiful. Your eyes widened when you realised something, you didn't even know his name. "I'm so sorry, but I don't even know your name."

"Sanzu Haruchiyo, Doll," he replies, your gaze flickers down to the clutch, noticing the grip loosening before tightening.

"Sanzu... Haruchiyo.... Ooo, Haru." you reply, testing the name out of your tongue, adding the nickname at the end unintentionally.

You missed the way Sanzu's tongue rolled over his teeth in his mouth, how the bob of his Adam's apple was so evident. His grip becomes tighter on the wheel and on the clutch, as he changes gears once more. The way you said his name made him crazy, and the cutesy nickname you added wasn't making it any better. 

The longer you sit in the car, the longer you feel a pull, a connection between the two of you as he drives through the city. Before you knew it, he pulls up in front of a building that screamed luxury.

Sanzu parks the car and gets out wordlessly, walking around to open the door for him once again. His hand extends to you, and you take it, stepping out and looking up in awe at the towering penthouse above.

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | tokyo revengers m.list

HONEY'S NOTE :: if this flops im going to neck

[antifainternational]

Elgin reportback!

Neo-Nazi Highland Division outnumbered & driven out of Elgin

On Saturday 17th June antifascists, trade unionists, anarchists and socialists gathered from across Scotland to demonstrate against an anti-immigrant rally being held in Elgin by Hitler fanboy Alek Yerbury and his neo-Nazi Highland Division.

A vigil for refugees was organised on the Plainstones by Moray TUC on one side of the church, where people started to gather from around 11am, while a handful of fascists began to gather around the other side. A self-described libertarian wandered around the vigil with his young children while filming, generally being an arse, and trying to get antifascists to debate him. Despite the clear advantage in numbers, Moray TUC were reluctant to go around the church to confront the fascists, aiming instead to focus on their own peaceful vigil – fortunately they were unable to maintain control over the situation.

Just before noon, a 17 year old punk boy upheld a glorious antifascist tradition by punching Alek Yerbury and was cautioned by police. Shortly after this, antifascists spontaneously began to pour around the side of the church, quickly surrounding Yerbury and the 7 Highland Division Nazis and forcing the police to form a protective circle around them.

Susan Slater of Moray TUC made a weak attempt to stop people chanting “fascist scum off our streets” and stick to “positive slogans” – there’s always one liberal telling people how to protest. This request was promptly ignored. Susan Slater later told a Northern Scot journalist she was disappointed that the Nazis were confronted directly – maybe Moray TUC needs new reps or to up its commitment to antifascism!

For two hours Highland Division were drowned out by between 200 and 300 antifascists, trade unionists and locals. There were chants of “fascist scum off our streets”, “say it loud, say it clear, refugees are welcome here”, “when refugees are under attack what do we do? Stand up, fight back!” as well as such hit songs as “you can shove your Nazi flag up your arse” and “the master race? You’re havin a laugh,” with a special shout-out to comrade vuvuzela. Several times Alek Yerbury tried to start speaking, only to be drowned out with a wall of noise and forced to give up.

Eventually the Nazis had enough and the police line fell back to try and offer them an escape route, which was met by antifascists immediately surging forwards and pushing the tightly protected Nazis into an alleyway while victoriously chanting “who’s streets? Our streets!”

Some antifascists then broke off and ran down a parallel street to cut the Nazis off at the other side, sandwiching them in. After some half hearted threats to charge the antifascists blocking the other side of the alleyway with participating in an illegal moving protest, the police let the Nazis out of a side entrance. Yerbury and Highland Division were then pursued all the way back to their minibus, with police forming a defensive line across the entrance to the car park.

Other than the boy who was cautioned there were 0 arrests, the fascists were outnumbered at least 20 to 1, and they were driven out of Elgin in one of the most humiliating defeats anyone could expect.

We’ll never let Nazis have a platform in Scotland, nae pasaran!

~ Antifascist Action Dundee

[iamatinydinosaur]

Hello! I really liked the wording of my application and thank you very much :DSomething I hadn't considered until I read it is thatThe brother reader will have unconsciously seen Ramón on a couple of occasions as a father figure since he was the only one who took care of the reader for 20 years. Thinking of Ramón as a “papá luchon” seems adorable to me (in my country we refer to single fathers and mothers who support their children with their own work, without any other presence to help them, therefore, they have to fight against the adversities) If possible, can you write something related to this topic about Ramón and the reader? (gender neutral)

🐾Branch🐾

Through the Years

You were 3 and Branch was 5 when Grandma died. It was just you two. You watched as your older brother lost his colors. You were so scared. Branch saw this and promised he would never let anything happen to you. You were all he had left. Grandma's death effected you a lot, just not to the extent that it effected Branch. You were afraid of everything, never wanting to leave Branch's side. He preferred this anyways.

You Age 7 and Branch age 9

You ran into the bunker crying. Branch ran into the main room. "Y/N what's wrong?!" He exclaimed seeing you covered in scratches, dirt and slightly bleeding. "I w-as col-lecting berries and some sp-id-ers attac-ked me." You hiccuped. Branch got a napkin and wiped your tears away. "I told you to wait for me before you went to go get the berries." He whispered grabbing a warm bowl of water with a rag and a first aid kit. He rung out the rag and started wiping the wet rag over your face to get rid of the dirt. "I wanted to surprise you and show I'm getting big and help you." You pouted, sniffling. "You do so much. Maybe if I helped more maybe your colors would come back..." You looked down. Branch's heart swelled. He kissed your forehead. You looked at him shocked. "You're growing up too quickly. Stop it." He said smiling as he cleaned your scrapes. You giggled.

You age 10 Branch age 12

Branch laughed. You had made a dance number to your favourite song. You wore a silly outfit and danced horribly. Branch knew he had to help your dancing ability. You stroked your ending pose.

Branch fell on the floor laughing his hardest. "Did you like it?!" You exclaimed jumping up and down. Branch wiped his tears getting up. "It was amazing. But let me help you improve the dancing. Your voice is amazing but your moves..." He teased. The rest of the day Branch showed you to do the moves better. This was the first time in 5 years you had seen him dance again. "Just like that see." He said turning to you. However, he froze seeing tears in your eyes. "What's wrong! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.!" He exclaimed hugging you. "No, no. You used to dance and sing all the time before Grandma... I just missed this." You mumbled hugging him.

You age 14 Branch age 16

It was Branch's 16th birthday. You had gotten up at 4. Branch gets up at 6 am everyday so you wanted his birthday breakfast ready before he got up. You had been practicing this breakfast for the past month after he's gone the bed to make sure it's perfect. It was about 5:55 when you had finished. You made for the both of you eggs Benedict, blueberry scones, fresh apple juice and bagels with an assortment of jams. "Morning Y/N, why are yo-" He stopped mid sentence when he saw the dining room table. His eyes watered and looked at you. "Happy Birthday Branch!"

You age 18 and Branch age 20

You layed on your bed, covers over your head. You sniffled. You had just got back from what was supposed to be your 1 year anniversary date with your partner. "Hey." Branch said softly holding two cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream. He placed them on your bedside table. You curled into a tighter ball. Branch sighed sitting on your bed. You slowly pulled the blanket off your face. Your cheeks were puffy, tear marks ran down your face and your eyes were bloodshot. "What happened?" He asked pulling your head onto his lap. "They broke up with me. They love someone else." You whispered burying your head into his stomach. This irked Branch. This low life scum hurting his baby sibling. "When I see this punk again I swear." He grumbled rubbing your back. This made you giggle slightly. "I made your favorite, hot chocolate." He whispered brushing your hair. You rolled over and sat up. You smiled taking it. You knew you'd always be able to count on your big brother.

A/N: I loved writing this. When I got this request I always thought Branch would only show you things he never did in the first movie (just not singing) I hope you like it!! ✨✨

[obaex]

you, the ocean, and me (pt. 1) - jj maybank

summary: jj is determined to put a smile on your face during your two-week trip to the obx, but what happens when fun turns into something more?

word count: 13.7K

warnings: cheating + terrible parents

a/n: this is set a few years in the future, assuming everyone is in their 20s. it's a slow burn, so it gets off to a slow start, but picks up quickly, i promise! i linked a couple of songs in here that are mentioned, only listen if you want to cry your eyes out with me.

You gazed wearily out the window as the pilot announced that the plane had begun its descent into the Outer Banks. Despite your warring emotions, you had to admit that the bum little beach town looked beautiful from above, the sky casting the shoreline in an orange glow.

Your mom squeezed your hand from the seat beside you, "This is going to be just what you need, sweetie" she said, "I promise."

You highly doubted that.

You had reluctantly agreed to spend two weeks with her here. A last-ditch effort to stop your life from rolling right off its tracks, in her eyes at least. You didn't know how a sleepy beach town on the coast of North Carolina was supposed to make you forget the three-carat diamond that weighed heavily on your ring finger, the text messages you had found on your fiancé's phone nor the fact that your family insisted you move forward with the marriage anyway. No, you were pretty damn sure there weren't enough Mai Tais in the world to make you forget all of that. As the plane dropped further in the sky your heart dropped into your stomach and a wave of nausea passed over you. When did everything become so fucked up?

You had met Carson Peters when you were fourteen. He was the quarterback, you were the captain of the cheerleading team. It was so damn cliché. Looking back at it now, it felt like your whole life was completely predetermined for you. Of course you would date him. Of course you would attend every homecoming, semi-formal and prom with him. Of course you would lose your virginity to him the night before you both left for college, making promises you had intended to keep. Of course he would study business, rapidly making inroads with your father's company. Now, it was only a matter of time until your father retired and passed ownership over to him. So, of course, when Carson Peters asked you to marry him you had said yes. He was all you had ever known, so ingrained in every aspect of your life and your family that the proposal felt like an inevitability you couldn't run from. Every decision was already made for you: You would get married in the same church as your parents, you would have 2-3 children that played soccer or did ballet, you would have a golden retriever, you would spend Friday nights at the country club, Saturdays playing tennis and Sundays volunteering at church. It wasn't a bad life. It was a damned privileged one, one you should feel grateful for. But you didn't. Because it didn't feel like yours. Looking back, you couldn't remember making one choice for yourself. You didn't really have a say in any of this. You were simply the perfect daughter, the glowing bride, a pawn in everyone else's game.

All of that came to a screeching halt two weeks ago.

It was a Friday night. Carson was in the shower and you were touching up your makeup, getting ready for your usual appearance at the country club when his phone chimed on its charger next to the bed. You glanced at it quickly, the noise catching your attention and you saw an incoming text from your best friend Lauren. You were going to meet her and her husband Nick at the club, so thinking she was texting about the plans for the evening, you opened the text. You and Carson didn't have any secrets between you, why would you? You had known each other for almost ten years. You typed in his passcode (your birthday + his old jersey number).

Lauren: Can't wait to see you tonight 😉

Hm. You felt like that was a little out of place, but maybe she was just trying to be nice? Looking back, you can't believe how naïve you were. You realized they had an existing text exchange so you began to scroll up and up and up and finally came across mutually exchanged pictures that caused you to drop the phone, your heart hammering in your chest, mind racing a mile a minute. You were desperately trying to concoct a plausible explanation for what you had just seen, to apply some logic to the situation, to come up with an excuse, any excuse. There wasn't one.

You could hear the shower stop running and you realized you had a decision to make. Do you confront him? Do you act like you didn't see it? There was no way you could sit through dinner tonight knowing what you knew now. You picked up the phone, set Lauren's most recent text to 'unread' and placed the phone back on the charger before telling Carson you weren't feeling well and wouldn't be up for dinner after all. He was visibly annoyed, whether because of the last-minute change of plans or the fact that he wouldn't get to see Lauren, you weren't sure. You undressed and crawled into bed as he went downstairs to watch TV. You cried yourself softly to sleep, sick to your stomach over what you were going to do.

The next morning Carson was thankfully up and out of the house early for a tee time with your father. He left with a quick kiss on your cheek as you lay in bed, grateful that he wouldn't see your splotchy face and bloodshot eyes. You didn't have the energy for a confrontation. You got up and got dressed. Normally this is something you would call Lauren to talk about. Since that was squarely out of the question, you called your mom, asking if you could come over to talk. You always had a good relationship with her despite the fact that she encouraged you (pushed you?) to look a certain way, act a certain way and dress a certain way to maintain the family image and ensure you were set up for a life just like hers.

You didn't take two steps inside her door before she knew something was wrong and you crumbled in her arms, sobs wracking your body as she held you close and rubbed your back. After you were settled at the kitchen counter with a warm cup of tea, you told her everything. Everything everything. She listened patiently and quietly, your hand in hers. Her eyes widened upon hearing the gory details, but she waited to speak until you were through. You could tell she was taking her time to collect her thoughts, to make sure she was saying the right thing, a skill she had taught you well.

"Honey, this doesn't change anything" she said simply. "People make mistakes. Some men have a wandering eye, but you're the one with the ring on your finger! Best not to ruffle any feathers before the wedding. you have a bright future ahead of you, and so does Carson - you two are meant to be! Plus, you know how important this is to your father and to me. You are our only child, we want you to be set for life and with Carson taking over the company, your future will be absolutely secure."

"What part of my fiancé fucking my best friend has me set up for life with a secure future!?" you said harshly, your voice rising.

"Watch your language!" she chided, like you were a child again. "You are getting worked up and blowing this completely out of proportion."

"Oh my god, have you lost your mind? Can you really not see how toxic this is? Can you not see how this impacts me? How this makes me feel?" you said, nearly shouting now.

"Sweetheart, this isn't just about you--"

"THIS IS ABOUT ME! THIS IS MY LIFE!" you shouted finally, rising to your feet. "Forget it. I'm not doing this with you. You can tell dad I'm sorry I ruined your perfect plans, but I'm done. I can't do this, I'm breaking it off."

"Honey, stop! Please. Listen to me. You're not thinking straight. You're emotional, you're upset. I understand that. You need some time to think before you make any rash decisions. Let's get away, just you and me. A couple of weeks, that's all I'm asking, and if you still feel the same way when we get back, then I'll support you."

"Fine" you agreed, knowing there wasn't a damn thing that could change your mind.

The ride from the Kildare airport to your rental property wound through a small but charming town with a surf shop, some small stores and a few restaurants before you crossed onto the wealthier side of the island, coastal mansions lining the shore with expensive cars parked outside. As much as you were harboring resentment at your mother for dragging you here, you had to admit it was beautiful. In any other circumstance you probably would have enjoyed it, eagerly looking forward to two weeks of uninterrupted relaxation, sun and top-shelf liquor. Now, all you wanted to do was drown yourself in tequila and tears.

Your rental home was obscenely large for just the two of you, but your family didn't do anything in half measures so you weren't surprised. Nor were you surprised when your mother announced that you had reservations in an hour at the local country club. You didn't even question it, simply going through the motions of showering, doing your hair and adorning a floor-length dress and heels. Beautiful on the outside, screaming on the inside.

The Island Club was a copy-paste of any number of similar clubs you had been to over the years, replete with overindulgent pompous assholes sporting golf attire and Lily Pulitzer. You supposed you were being hypocritical knowing you were one of those assholes back home, but you let yourself be bitter surrounded by so many people you didn't know. You managed to make it all the way through dinner before your mom excused herself to mix and mingle and "make connections" for the duration of your stay. You couldn't think of anything you wanted to do less, so you grabbed your glass of wine and headed outside to a quiet part of the back patio, leaning out over the balcony to take in the thick, salty ocean air.

It was near the end of his shift and he was itching to get out of there, fidgeting and tugging at the collar of his shirt when he saw you. He had been making his way down a narrow hallway near the patio doors, arms laden with a tub of dishes. You were leaning against the balcony, staring out at the ocean. He could only see your side profile, but he could trace your long lashes and thick lips and the way your hair danced in the summer breeze. You were dressed to the nines in a stunning open-back dress that showed off your sunkissed skin. But it was the look on your face that pulled him in, eyes narrowed, face scrunched like you were trying to solve all the world's problems. Even with a scowl, he thought you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He realized after a few moments that he wasn't breathing, quickly clearing his throat and looking around to make sure no one had seen him gawking at you like that. He placed the bin of dishes unceremoniously on the floor and wiped his hands on his pants. 'Come on' he thought, trying to pump himself up. 'Stupid things have good outcomes all the time' as he pushed the patio doors open.

You were able to enjoy a few moments of solitude before you heard the woosh of the patio doors open and close behind you and another person came into your peripheral vision. They leaned against the balcony, a respectable distance away. You didn't turn your head, you didn't acknowledge them, you didn't feel like talking to anyone. You bit your lower lip, holding back several snarky remarks, trying to come up with the most socially acceptable way to say "fuck off". You closed your eyes, mustering your energy as you turned - and every word died on your lips.

He was definitely not what you had expected. In fact, he was gorgeous, painfully so, boyishly handsome with tousled blonde hair, nearly white at the tips from the sun, that complimented his tan skin. A laidback smile rested on his lips and his blue eyes twinkled with mischievousness and fun. He was looking at you with a mix of intrigue and something else you couldn't quite put a finger on but that made your heart beat a little faster and brought a blush to your cheeks. He laughed softly, breaking your trance as he said "Drinking wine alone in the dark isn't a great way to meet people."

"Kinda what I was going for" you admitted.

"Oof" he said, covering his heart with his hands like you had delivered a physical blow to him. "Sorry to intrude, it just looked like you could use some company..." he trailed off, hoping for a response, and continuing anyway when he didn't get one. "So, you're here with your mom visiting for a couple of weeks?"

"How'd you know that?" you asked, the surprise evident on your face.

"It's a small club, word travels fast," he said, glancing back inside "And your mom plus a couple of martinis has gotten just about everyone up to speed."

You groaned, leaning back over the balcony, rubbing your temple. "I'm on sabbatical from my trainwreck of a life back home."

"That good, huh?" he replied lightly.

"You have no idea" you sighed.

He laughed, a hint of bitterness evident in his voice, "I could teach a masterclass on fucked up lives, trust me."

And for some reason, you did. It was like your own pain was a radar, able to pick up on other people's agony and despite his pretty face, you could tell this boy had been through his own.

"JJ" he said finally, extending his hand. You took it hesitantly.

"Y/N" you said in reply.

"Y/N" he said, smiling deeply, letting the sound of it linger and melt on his tongue like the first taste of ice cream on a hot day. "Do you want to get out of here?" he said suddenly.

That stopped you in your tracks. You hadn't been propositioned like that in, well, almost ten years. Everyone at home knew who you were and whose you were and that any attempt at something like that was going to be fruitless.

You held up your left hand in response, letting the ring on your finger speak for itself, a sarcastic look on your face telling JJ this was the end of the line.

He felt his heart skip a beat at that, his mind racing with questions and thoughts. Of course she's engaged. Obviously. But why would someone who's about to get married look so miserable? Where is this guy anyway? I wouldn't let her out of my sight. What do I do. What do I do. What do I do.

"Whoa" he said, not missing a beat despite the cacophony in his head. "I'm not asking you to move in with me, princess. You look miserable and I know a place that's a hell of a lot more fun that this."

The thought of running off with this boy sparked something deep inside you, like someone trying to flick on a lighter- flick flick flick - before your rational mind took over.

"My fiancé--" you started.

JJ looked around mockingly to the left and the right, gesturing to the empty patio "Isn't here" he said simply.

"My mom--" you tried.

"Is enjoying her third martini" he replied, "You can text her and tell her you'll be home by midnight."

"But--" you tried a third time.

"Look, I didn't ask you what your fiancé or your mom or your best friend or anyone else wants you to do. I'm asking what you want to do" he said, extending his hand, "Come with me?" he asked, much more confidently than he felt.

It was the first time in as long as you can remember that you had the freedom and the opportunity to make a decision by yourself for yourself. You reveled in it, letting go of every obligation you had to say no.

You placed your hand in his, meeting his strong gaze, "Let's go."

He led you by the hand down a small set of stairs to a walkway that led directly to the parking lot. You were overwhelmingly grateful for his discretion, both of you knowing better than to parade this situation in front of the onlookers inside. You let go of his hand to type out a quick text to your mom and continued to follow him, so engrossed in trying to word your message that you nearly walked into him as he yanked off his bowtie and vest and loosened several buttons on his shirt. You hit send just as he was handing you something. You registered the helmet in your hands, then the bike in front of you.

"No way" you scoffed "Absolutely not."

"Come on" he said, waving you over, ignoring your comments. You took a hesitant step forward and before you knew what was happening, he was kneeling in front of you, grabbing the hem of your dress and rolling it delicately up your leg, revealing your three-inch heels, your calves, his fingers barely touching you, the featherlight passes sending goosebumps up your legs. As his hands nearly reached your knees, you managed to find your words, "H-Hey what are y-you doing?" you asked, your mind completely disconnected from your mouth at the sensation of his fingers on you. He bunched the dress to one side and tied it in a tight knot.

"Can't have it getting tangled in the wheel" he said cheekily as he straightened up, taking the helmet out of your hands and stepping towards you, both of you nearly chest to chest. He smiled devilishly at the blush on your cheeks before sliding the helmet over your head and reaching to gently snap the straps in place.

He pulled his own helmet on and straddled the bike effortlessly, scootching forward to give you room behind him. You settled in, the sloped curve of the seat sliding you right into him, your thighs resting against his hips, your front flush to his back. You looked around for something anything to hold onto as he revved the engine.

"Please hang on to me" he turned to say, picking up on your defiance of the situation. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable, but I also don't want you to die, so it's really the lesser of two evils at this point."

Resigned, you pressed into him, wrapping your hands around his strong core.

"Good?" he asked.

"I think so" you replied hesitantly.

And you were off.

The bike skidded slightly in the gravel, picking up speed as he shot down the driveway at the club.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. You thought to yourself, realizing too late how enormously stupid it was to get on a dirt bike in a dress and three-inch heels with a complete stranger. It sounded like the start to a 48-hour mystery.

And yet.

As JJ navigated the narrow streets confidently, crossing the bridge to the beach, you loosened your death grip just enough to look around and take in the twinkling lights of the homes in the distance, the blink of the lighthouse, the sound of the crashing waves and the warm wind whipping your hair back under the helmet. You closed your eyes, took a deep breath of the salty air and realized you felt surprisingly okay. For the first time since you read those texts the simmering rage and frustration that had been building up inside of you felt more like a warm pot of soup simmering on the stove than a kettle hissing with boiling water. It was contained, manageable.

JJ pulled over amongst a line of other cars and bikes at the beach. As he cut off the engine you could hear the distinct sound of a party, chattering voices, bumping music and you could make out the flickering light of several bonfires as you slid off the bike and pulled your helmet off, frantically trying to untangle your wind-whipped hair. JJ took in your mussed hair, wrinkled dress and rosy cheeks, pink from the adrenaline of the ride and smiled. "You're not going to need those here" he said, pointing to your heels. You slid them off, letting your toes rest in the cool sand as he led the way.

He navigated expertly around the crowd, dodging drunk people, waving to others as they called out to him. He was clearly well-loved and even your brief interaction told you why, his easygoing, laid-back, friendly nature and quick smile were welcoming and inviting, magnetic. It made your fears and anxieties slip away, like as long as you were in his orbit, nothing could go wrong, everything was always good times and sunshine and nothing else mattered. Despite the distractions, wherever he walked, he continued to look back at you to make sure you were still behind him, smiling at you as he waved you forward. You finally found your way to a small bonfire surrounded by a few people that eagerly cheered upon seeing him and tossed him a beer.

He quickly introduced you to his friends and you tried your best to remember their names and nicknames, Kie? Pope? John B (the middle initial seemed very important), Sarah and Cleo. They welcomed you with open arms, literally hugging you, the girls tugging on your dress, overwhelming you with compliments. You weren't sure if it was the booze or if they were always this nice, but you felt immediately at ease. You could tell they were a tight-knit group the way they interacted with each other, a familial casualty in the way they leaned on one another around the bonfire, finished each other's sentences and traded inside jokes. And for the first time in a long time, you just let yourself be. You didn't care that your hair was a tangled mess, that your dress was wrinkled and now covered in sand or that you were drinking Corona. You let the beer and the conversation flow, soaking in the genuine presence of the people around you.

JJ settled on the opposite side of the fire, content to watch you through the flames that lit your face in an orange glow. You already looked like a completely different version of yourself than he had seen on the balcony, like a physical weight had been lifted from your shoulders as you laughed unabashedly. His heart swelled with the thought that he was the reason for the smile on your face. He couldn't tear his gaze away as he looked at you, fidgeting with the label on his beer, barely bringing it to his lips which sat in a permanent smile.

John B looked from his best friend to the new girl and back again. He knew that look on JJ’s face, though he’d never seen it directed at a girl before. It was the same look he’d had the last time they surfed the surge: determination, admiration, desire. It was undeniable. As was the giant ring on her finger. That look and that ring were at odds with one another and he knew he needed to quash this, now.

He nudged JJ and tilted his head away from the group. JJ sighed, hanging his head. He knew this was coming. He stood up, smiling at you quickly before walking away. When he caught up with John B out of earshot, they didn’t dance around the topic at hand.

“What are you doing, man?” John B asked.

“Chillin’, drinkin’ some beers with my friends” JJ replied smartly, taking a long sip of his beer to avoid eye contact.

“You know what I mean, JJ, what are you doing with Y/N?” John B insisted, tone serious.

“I’m just trying to show her a good time” JJ said nonchalantly, shrugging.

“Don’t bullshit me, man” John B said, the frustration in his voice evident, “I see the way you’re looking at her and I also see that rock on her hand. It’s a no-go amigo. Not cool.”

The smirk on JJ’s face disappeared as he grew uncharacteristically serious. He dropped his eyes to the sand, kicking it around with his feet, trying to find a way to put into words what he knew to be true in his heart. She’s not happy. I can make her happy. I know I can make her happy.

“You didn’t see her earlier” he started, eyes downcast, feet continuing to kick the sand around. “She’s miserable, she’s caught up in typical kook bullshit, like she’s never had a day of fun in her life… the look on her face…” he stopped himself, heart clenching at the thought. “I know this is crazy, man, but I don’t think she wants to marry this guy.”

“She said that?” John B said, surprised.

“…Not exactly” JJ replied.

John B huffed, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. “So, what? You’re psychic now? C'mon man” he said, urging his friend to see reason.

JJ cast his eyes down again.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt” John B continued. “This isn’t going to end like you think this is going to end. She’s going to have her two weeks of fun and then she’s going to go right back to her kook life and you’ll be left to pick up the pieces.”

JJ shook his head. John B’s words warring with the images in his head that played like a movie, the sorrow on your face as you looked out at the ocean, the way your eyes sparkled in the twinkling lights on the balcony, the blush of your cheeks as he pulled your helmet on, the tug of your arms around his chest and the feeling of you pressed tightly to him. You were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. You knew he was just a bus boy and you agreed to leave with him, you slipped your hand into his, you got on his bike, you’d met his friends. No. There was something there. And he was going to chase it, even if it destroyed him in the process. He clenched his jaw and looked up at John B, determination in his eyes. “I’m doing this. You’re either with me or you’re not, but I’m doing this” he said resolutely.

John B’s heart sank as he sighed deeply. JJ was nothing if not stubborn. It made him loyal at the best of times and rockheaded at the worst of times. It was both his best and his worst quality. “I’m always with you, man” he said, regret already evident in his voice.

JJ’s signature smirk returned to his lips as he tipped his beer forward for a cheers. “To terrible ideas?”

“To terrible ideas.”

The next morning, you rested a cool bottle of water against your forehead as you leaned back in your poolside recliner at the club, hoping to ease the pang of your pounding headache and hangover. Your mom was polite enough not to comment, happy to be in her element after a morning of tennis and a tee time booked later this afternoon as she lay beside you chattering away. You nodded along, inserting comments when necessary as you closed your eyes and let yourself drift back to the night before. It had been so different from your life back home, but so right at the same time. You thought about JJ, his smirk, the goofy stories he told and you found yourself smiling. A pang of guilt resonated deep in your chest. You pushed it down, telling yourself that JJ could be a good friend, nothing more.

"Your drink, m'am" the poolside attendant said, setting down a Corona and pulling you out of your reverie. This caught your mother's attention.

"A beer? Really, Y/N, have some decorum, it's 10:30 in the morning" she said with disdain.

"Thank you" you said kindly to the attendant, trying to defuse the situation, "But I didn't order this." He looked around uncomfortably as he smiled, "It's on the house" he said, before waving politely and making a quick exit.

Your mother tsked and turned her attention back to her magazine when you noticed a slip of paper under the beer.

Marina, 1:00 - JJ

Your heart skipped a beat and a smile crept across your face as you happily took a deep sip of your beer, leaning back in your chair, eyes closed in the sun.

You got to the marina on time. Not really sure what outfit the occasion called for, you settled for your bikini, a flowy top and pair of shorts. You ambled along the aisles of boats, trying nonchalantly to look for the familiar mess of blonde hair as your pulse quickened.

"Y/N!" you heard finally, and turned to see JJ and his friends pulling up in a small boat, waving you toward them. You broke into a big smile as you quickly caught up to them and JJ extended a hand to help you inside. There weren't many places to sit, and JJ beckoned you next to him on a large cooler, barely wide enough for the two of you, your bodies pressed next to each other and backs pressed to the side of the boat as John B hit the throttle and the boat took off. He tore through the channel and marsh grass passed by you on either side in streaks of bright greens and yellows as the hot sun licked your skin. The boat jostled as it made its way into choppier ocean water and as it smacked into a wave, JJ's arm rested protectively behind you, not quite touching you, but near enough that you felt pulled into his presence. You smiled shyly to yourself and avoided eye contact with him.

You ended up anchoring just off a sandbar and as soon as the boat was situated, Pope, Kie and Cleo stripped to their bathing suits and eagerly jumped into the water. Much to your surprise, John B and Sarah were right behind them.

"You coming, princess?" JJ said, standing up and tugging his shirt over his head. You swallowed as you took in his athletic body, muscular arms and chiseled chest. Quickly averting your gaze, you peered into the dark, choppy water, well aware of what could be found in those depths: sharks, jellyfish, stingrays the list went on and on. You opened your mouth to protest but when you turned around JJ was doing a backflip off the other side of the boat. You stood up and walked to the other side as he surfaced, shaking the wet hair out of his eyes with a practiced shake of his head. The others were nearby, swimming and splashing and goofing around but JJ was waiting for you, squinting up at you.

"Come on!" he said encouragingly.

"I don't know" you said hesitantly, eyeing the rough water, fear evident in your voice.

"I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise. It's totally safe" he said, extending a hand.

It wasn't like you had a choice. Get over yourself. You thought, trying to muster up your courage as you unbuttoned your shorts and pulled your shirt over your head.

JJ could just see you over the top of the boat from his vantage point in the water and as you pulled your shirt over your head revealing your bikini-clad body a rush of water flowed into his open mouth and he choked on the salt water, coughing loudly. Geeezus he thought.

"You ok?" you asked, leaning over the boat, your hair tumbling over your shoulders, the angle providing him with another vantage point of your cleavage as you watched him cough loudly.

He mustered a thumbs up before wiping a hand over his face. You were going to be the death of him.

"Come on, princess, before I drown" he shouted teasingly.

You stepped up to the side of the boat, toes nearing the edge. Your heart was pounding with the adrenaline in your veins, fear causing your limbs to shake. You looked down and saw JJ's smile, his hand extended and your heartrate slowed. He was right, if he was there, it was going to be okay. So, you jumped.

The cool water shivered over you, causing your limbs to tingle as you surfaced. You wiped the salt water from your eyes and landed on JJ's gaze, basking in it as he smiled widely at you "Atta girl!" he said proudly, before waving you over to his friends.

A day spent swimming and drinking in the sun had you nearly wiped out on the boat ride home. You laid with JJ alone on the bow, you on your back and he on his stomach, turned to face you, about an arm's length away. Your conversation flowed effortlessly. He asked you about your favorite music, favorite movies, arguing with you good naturedly any time he disagreed with your answer, though you found you actually had a lot in common with each other. You both loved the outdoors, the beach, dogs, Bob Marley and tequila. They were little things, but even little bonds formed fast friendships.

"Favorite ice cream?" he asked.

"Cookie dough, hands down" you said without pausing.

"Mmm yes" he agreed, his voice sleepy and his eyes closed. "I could crush some of that right now." A pause. "What about favorite flowers?"

You turned your head to look at him curiously. That seemed like a sneaky question. His lips curled into a smile but he didn't open his eyes and didn't say anything further.

You smiled, closing your own eyes again as you faced the sun. "Peonies" you said simply.

He laughed. "I literally have no idea what those are."

You laughed back, "They're fluffy, the look like clouds. They come in a few different colors but light pink is my favorite. They're really pretty."

"I'll take your word for it" he said.

"Do I get to ask a question now?" you asked.

"Shoot"

"Okay, favorite way to spend the day?"

"Surfing" he said without pause.

"You surf?" you asked enthusiastically before thinking further. "Well, I guess I should have figured..."

"Hmm?" He said, confused, popping an eye open to meet your gaze as you looked at him.

You gestured up and down his body. "It fits. You know, the whole blonde surfer boy thing?"

He smirked. This was too easy. "You got a thing for blonde surfer boys?"

You laughed dismissively, turning your head away, fighting simultaneous feelings of butterflies in your stomach and the guilt lurking somewhere deeper. "Nice try, JJ. No, I just think it's cool. I always wanted to learn how to surf, but my parents were more interested in me taking up golf and ballet."

A brief pause.

"I could teach you?" he offered, hoping that the excitement and eagerness in his voice weren't too obvious.

You looked back at him. "Yeah?" you said, trying to gauge if he was serious.

"Hell yeah" he said, eyes closing again as he grinned from ear to ear.

You agreed to meet JJ at the beach the next morning for your first lesson, slipping out of your house before your mom was awake. The sand tickled your toes as you made your way to the water, the whole landscape awash with the pink and peach hues of the morning sun, the surrounding quiet but for the crash of the waves and the occasional call of the seagulls and pelicans overhead, not yet tainted by people, like you were in a beach-themed snow globe.

You saw him seated in the sand, boards propped up behind him, waiting for you as he looked out on the ocean. It was becoming harder and harder to ignore the physical reaction your body had to being in his presence. Your pulse quickened with excitement, you felt light on your feet, like you could float right over to him, you were craving his smile, the sound of his laughter, his signature smirk and the way his eyes twinkled when they looked at you. You were chasing that high, that relief of being with him so hard that you didn't want to acknowledge that at the same time you were running from reality. Just let me be here in this moment you thought. Just let me enjoy this you told your guilty conscience. You twirled the ring on your finger. Didn't you deserve a break? Wasn't that the reason you were here?

You quashed your warring emotions as you plopped into the sand beside him, turning to smile at him, greeted with the smile you had been missing that seemed to wash all your fear and anxiety away.

You were eager to learn the basics, more eager to impress your instructor. He was patient and extremely knowledgeable as he walked you through each step. Learning to maintain your balance was hard. Focusing on his words, while he occasionally placed his hands on your hips or on your arms to guide you was even harder. He was always respectful, but he'd have to be an idiot not to realize the way you responded to his warm, calloused fingers, the way your body shifted towards him, magnetized.

You ended the morning seated on your boards, bobbing in the ocean together, watching the sun crest fully over the horizon.

"Thank you" you said quietly, not wanting to disturb the peaceful moment as you smiled at him.

"'Course" he said, smirking, "You're not bad, princess."

You blushed at his compliment and the now familiar nickname that neither of your acknowledged, but that you couldn't get enough of. "Do you think we could do this again tomorrow?" you asked.

I would do literally anything to spend more time with you. The fact that you're asking me to surf proves to me that you're the girl of my dreams he thought, biting his tongue.

"Absolutely" he said.

So, you woke up for surf lessons with JJ the next morning, and the next morning and the next morning, falling into a routine that became so automatic neither of you had to ask anymore. You jumped out of bed despite the early mornings, eager to start your days in the warm water with JJ and today was no different. You had graduated to trying to stand on your board in the water and were doing a decent job, teetering slightly as he coached you from the water, leaning one arm on his board until an unexpected wave knocked you off and you surfaced next to him, wiping the salt water from your eyes, balancing one arm on your board as you laughed. You realized suddenly how close you were to him and your breath caught at the way he was looking at you. You were close enough to see his blue eyes tracing your face with the same look from the night you first met, intrigue and something else much much deeper, somewhere between pain and longing that had your heart thundering in your chest. You were nearly chest-to-chest now, as you let the waves carry you closer to each other. Your fingers itched to push his damp hair off his forehead. Neither of you spoke, just taking each other in at this close distance, bobbing in the waves, closer than you'd let yourself get on purpose. He opened his mouth to say something when you felt something slither against your foot.

She was on top of him before he knew what the fuck was going on. Screeching and lunging into his grasp about something that touched her foot, her arms thrown around his shoulders, his one arm naturally coming to catch her, to wrap around her and hold her against him as his other rested on his board to keep them afloat. He would have laughed at her reaction if he could remember how to breath. All he could feel was the sensation of her wet, bare body pressed against his, her warm breath on his neck. He could smell her shampoo, could feel her heart beating next to his. It was like his body took over on instinct, pulling her into him, like it was the most natural thing in the world, gently tugging them away.

"Hey, you're alright, it's alright, probably just a fish or some seaweed or something."

He guided you back to shallower waters, immediately regretting it when your feet brushed the sand and you unwound from him, suddenly embarrassed and aware of what you had done.

"Sorry, I don't know why I did that, that just totally freaked me out" you said.

"No worries" he said, casting one last look at you before grabbing your boards and stepping out of the water.

"Want to grab a coffee? My treat?" you asked, scrambling for some way to make up for what just happened.

"Sure" he said, walking with you to a small coffee shop a few blocks from the beach.

"Hot caramel latte with coconut milk, please" you ordered before turning to him. "Uh, iced black coffee's fine for me" he said, nodding at the barista as you paid.

"Why are you drinking hot coffee when it's nearly 90 degrees outside?" he asked, scrunching up his face like he was going to puke, trying to lighten the heaviness of the morning that sat on you like a damp beach towel and feeling much better when he succeeded in making you laugh.

"I don't like when iced coffee melts and it gets all watered down" you shrugged "I've always been that way." You smiled at him before you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You pulled it out to read the caller ID: Carson Peters. Your heart sank so fast in your stomach it was like you had the wind knocked out of you. JJ was watching you closely and could see the way your shoulders slumped, your brow furrowed and your lips turned down. It was like watching a flower wilt, something so beautiful that stood so tall and radiant, deflating, coming apart. His heart hurt to watch it and he wanted to sucker punch whoever was on the other side of that phone.

You looked up at him with doe eyes, "Sorry, I have to take this" you said, and without waiting for a response you stepped outside.

You had been gone for nearly a week without hearing from Carson apart from a few text messages. You didn't know what you hoped to hear on the other end. What if he found out that you knew? What if he was calling to apologize? To beg you to come home? You glanced back at the coffee shop, mind flickering between the boy inside and the boy on the phone. You slid your finger across the screen to pick it up.

"Hi Car" you said, managing to keep your voice calm, eager to hear what he would say. You could hear some muffled noises, like he was rustling around.

"Car?" you asked again.

"Hey! Hey Y/N" he said, out of breath, his voice rushed. "Do you know where my blue sneakers are? I looked in the garage and in the back of the closet..." He rambled on but you had stopped listening. He was calling to ask where his sneakers were? You hadn't talked in almost six days and he was asking about his sneakers? His ignorance and the audacity he had to carry on his mundane, stupid life while you were battling your own future reignited the rage deep within you. You could have screamed as angry, frustrated tears welled up in your eyes.

"They're by the back door, in the basket" you said, interrupting him, your voice quivering with anger. You could hear him padding down the stairs.

"Shit, you're right, there they are, thanks, babe!" he said "You having fun with your mom? You'll be home next weekend, right?"

"Yup" you said cooly. "Look, I've got to go, I'll talk to you later."

"Ok!" He said, missing your tone completely. "Love you!"

Liar. You thought, and hung up.

JJ lay flat on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he twiddled with the rings on his fingers. He leaned over to glance at his phone: 3:30 AM. He couldn't sleep. His mind was whirling as he thought about how in one short week you had eclipsed his every waking thought, and now his sleep too. He had been drawn to your beauty, which was undeniable. You were perfect in every sense of the word, his body ached at the memory of you pressed against him in the ocean. Honestly, a shark could have bitten his leg off and he would have died a happy man spending his last moment on earth surfing in the sunrise, you latched to him, you wanting his arms around you, to hold you close, to protect you. God how he wanted that with you. More than he'd ever wanted anything, he was sure of that. But what he was feeling was more than physical desire. He loved getting to know you. He loved your personality. He loved how you were willing to try new things and put yourself out there, even though he knew it scared you. Riding dirt bikes and jumping in shark infested waters, you were braver than you gave yourself credit for. Perhaps more than anyone had ever given you credit for. Which is why he couldn't understand the last piece of your puzzle. He was pretty sure that phone call was from your fiancé, but why did you look so miserable? Why couldn't you just break things off if he didn't make you happy? Why can't she just be with me instead? he thought. If that was what you really wanted, he knew you were brave enough to do it, but did you? He flopped over and pulled his pillow over his head.

That Sunday night found you back at the Island Club for dinner with your mom. This time, she had eagerly invited several couples to join you and they spent the whole night discussing politics and humble bragging to each other. You smiled, nodded and laughed at all the right times like the circus animal you were tamed to be, each comment grating on you more and more until your eyes caught something over the shoulder of the woman across from you: a mop of blonde hair peeking out from the hallway, a hand waving wildly to get your attention and pointing to the back door while also trying to be subtle and failing miserably. You blushed deeply and laughed, trying too late to cover it up, which caught your mom's attention and halted conversation at the table. "I'm so sorry, will you please excuse me?" you said, standing up and walking to the back door without waiting for a response.

You pushed outside and looked around for JJ. There were people everywhere with some sort of event going on, a DJ mixed a sweet soundtrack that drifted out over the ocean in the background. You spotted him in the back corner of the balcony, near where you had first met.

"Oh my god, thank you" you said, exhaling loudly. "If I had to listen to Mr. Wheeler's play-by-play of his round of golf today any longer, I was going to pass out."

JJ laughed and nodded towards the beach, "My shift isn't over for another hour, but wanna go for a walk?"

You nodded eagerly, following him down the stairs and making your way to the beach, tugging off your heels and letting your toes sink into the cool sand.

You walked in comfortable silence for a while, listening to the DJ and the ocean as you quietly began humming the song that had just come on, one of your favorites, a summer classic, dancing in the moonlight.

You caught JJ shimmying to the beat next to you, which made you laugh. He caught your eye, smiling wide at your reaction and started dancing in earnest, moving his hips and arms in time with the beat. What you thought would be goofy ended up being impressive and undeniably attractive, he had moves and your eyes twinkled as you took him in, laughing and clapping, cheering him on when he reached out to grab your hand and pull you along with him, the two of you dancing, jumping and singing as he twirled you around to the beat. It was effortlessly fun. You didn't care about looking silly next to him and the way he was looking at you boosted your confidence tenfold. You both laughed harder as he spun you around once more, dramatically, as the song came to an end. You were both breathless, smiling at each other, your hand still wrapped in his as the next song faded in.

It was a slow song and it was like the minutes slowed in time with the beat as he squeezed your hand gently and pulled you into him, raising your hand in his while his other rested respectfully at your midback in a slow dance position. Neither of you said anything. It felt natural, easy, unforced, like everything did with him. You didn't have to think as you slipped your arm around his shoulder and let your head rest on his chest as he swayed you back and forth. You let your eyes flutter closed as you listened to the lyrics.

When the time is up and the sun it dies

'Til the rivers flood and the ocean dries

Hand in hand under the falling sky

I will love you...

The song was ethereal and beautiful and the lyrics tugged at your heart. You could feel tears pinprick your eyes without warning.

So many say it and it's all a lie

But I will love you...

The lyrics sounded like wedding vows and you nuzzled deeper into JJ's chest, drinking in the comforting smell that was distinctly him, the feeling of his arm around you, holding you to his chest and you let yourself imagine what it would be like to say these things to someone and mean them. To say them to someone you felt them for. To say them to someone you picked, instead of someone that was simply predestined for you.

You hadn't let out a sound, but as with so many other things between you, JJ could sense your feelings. He let your hand go, bringing both arms around, pulling you deeper in to him, resting his head on top of yours, whispering your name, a plea, a prayer, a question that you weren't ready to answer. As you continued to sway he let himself imagine what it would be like to say these things to you. To say everything he wanted to say to you, freely, without guilt or shame or fear of what you might say or not say back to him.

Before the song could fade out, the ocean crashed beside you, rushing up to soak your feet unexpectedly and you pulled away as the cool water brought you back to reality. You grabbed the hem of your dress, wiping discretely at the tears on your face as you looked up at JJ, his eyes on you, mouth parted like he wanted to say something, a look on his face you hadn't seen before. He was normally so happy, so carefree, but he was stone serious as he reached out a hand to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ears.

"JJ" you whispered, your eyes closing as his fingers brushed your cheek.

He pulled his hand back.

"Let's get you back, princess" he said quietly, "Don't want them to send a search party." You didn't miss the somber look on his face as he slung his arm over your shoulder like nothing had happened.

You lay flat on your bed, staring up at the ceiling as you twirled the ring on your finger. You leaned over to glance at your phone: 2:30 AM. You couldn't sleep. Usually, you crashed into bed after you spent your day surfing and soaking up more sun and Corona than you could remember, but the knowledge that you were heading home to face reality in just a few days had you tossing and turning. What you knew in your mind and what you wanted in your heart raging an endless battle that was tearing you apart. You knew that your parents had painstakingly planned every aspect of your life to be set up for success. A life with Carson meant wanting for nothing. You would have everything at your fingertips: a house, a car, designer clothes and five-star vacations, seven-bedroom rental homes and country clubs. You would want for nothing, except love and affection. Your heart told you that you had thought you had loved Carson, thought you knew what love was before you had come here, before you met JJ. Love wasn't houses and cars and a carefully planned future. Love was stolen glances over a bonfire, safe arms when you were scared, hugs when you were sad, barefoot dances on the beach, your name on his lips. Love was being scared of something and doing it anyway. And you had never been more scared in your life. You flipped over, pulling your pillow over your head.

The next morning it was like nothing had happened the night before, you and JJ falling into your casual but flirty familiarity during your morning surf session. You were both seated on your boards bobbing with the waves next to each other when JJ nudged you and pointed a little further down the shoreline in the water. You covered your eyes, squinting when you saw a burst of water and a dolphin crested the waves. You squealed with delight as you realized it was a whole school of dolphins, maybe 6 or 8, headed your way. You both watched in reverence as they swam closer, circling around you, maybe 10 feet away. You had never experienced anything like that in your life, your head turning every which way to take them in before looking at JJ and laughing.

Your joy was contagious and he laughed with a knowing smile. "They're good luck, you know" he said. You turned to him, curious. "They symbolize guidance, fun and freedom" he continued "And typically mean that good fortune is on its way." He looked around smugly before saying under his breath "...I'll take all the good luck I can get..." as he began to paddle in. The weight of his words not lost on you as you followed him.

That night you eagerly recounted the story to your mom, gushing over the amazing experience of being so close to such beautiful animals. She smiled and squeezed your hand, "I'm so glad you've had a chance to relax. I told you this is just what you needed" before changing the subject tactfully. "The wedding planner called to confirm the last security deposit has been settled for the venue and the band."

Your head snapped up at her, surprised.

"Mom" you started, your voice heavy with tension and trepidation.

"Y/N, this has been a great vacation. You've had your fun and that's what's important, but it's time to start thinking about reality."

The realization hit you and you could feel the dread and anxiety seeping over your body like someone had cracked an egg on your head. It oozed over you, sticky, thick and suffocating. Your family had no intention of letting you break off your engagement. This was a distraction as they continued to weave their web of deceit around you. Your mom had continued planning the wedding this whole time.

You stood up, shaking with the sudden urge to run, the need to be physically anywhere but here. "I'm going out" you said suddenly, grabbing a sweatshirt and your phone as you started walking toward the front door, ignoring your mother's pleas as you slammed it behind you and ran down the steps into the street, letting your feet create the distance you needed.

Hot, angry tears burned in your eyes and ran down your face as your fingers scrambled to your phone, dialing JJ's number before you could think more about it.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and stood to his feet when he saw your name on the caller ID. It was late, later than you'd ever called him before. He danced on the balls of his feet, trying to think of the best way to answer before swiping to pick up the call.

"Hey, princess!" he said, kicking himself for how desperate and eager he sounded.

"Jayj?" you said, your voice a strained cry and his smile immediately dropped, his feet moving on autopilot towards the front door. You weren't okay. "Can you come get me?" you asked.

"I'm on my way" he said, sprinting to a run as he hopped on his bike.

He found you walking on the side of the road a few blocks from the beach, killing the engine on his bike and tipping it into the dirt, not bothering with the kickstand as he ran up to you. You reached your arms up and he pulled you into a deep hug, nearly lifting you off your feet as his arms wrapped tightly around you, his head buried next to yours as you began to cry anew. His heart clenched, a physical pain in his chest as he felt the pain rolling off of you, squeezing you tighter like he could pull it out of you and take it on himself. He didn't try to quiet you down or ask questions, he just let you cry, rocking you side to side, rubbing your back. The sweetness of his touch making you cry even harder.

"I can't do it, JJ" you whispered, muffled in his shirt. His heart hammered in his chest. Did he hear you right? Can't do what? What is she talking about?

"I don't want to marry him, I can't marry him" you said, speaking the words you had felt in your heart but hadn't dared let yourself think or say out loud until now. His heart was beating so hard he was sure you could feel it. If it wasn't for the current circumstances he would have leapt into the air, fist pumped and thrown it in John B's face. He pulled away to look at you and you quickly covered your face with your hands in shame and embarrassment as you tried to wipe the away your tears.

"Come on" he said, putting his arm around you and walking you towards the beach. He needed a damn minute to think.

Your tears turned into sniffles which had turned into ragged breaths by the time you reached the beach, making your way towards the ocean, leaning heavily on JJ as he held onto you.

You walked along the water in silence as you tried to catch your breath and think of what to say. You only had one day left and it felt like if you started talking now even that wouldn't be enough time to say everything you needed to say. You stopped abruptly and turned to him. It was now or never.

"I come from a lot of money, JJ. My family, my dad, our company, it's sort of a big deal where I come from" you squirmed with embarrassment, but knew he needed to hear the whole truth. "My fiancé - Carson-" you squirmed again. Saying his name here, with JJ, in this sacred place felt so wrong, sour on your tongue, but you pushed through, "-He's taking over the company. It's all arranged as part of our engagement, our wedding, so that it stays in the family. If I don't marry him, then we don't have a plan for the business when my dad retires. Carson has been working there for years now, they've already developed a succession plan, put out the press releases..." you continued to spiral, babbling on about the business, the consequences, like you were trying to convince yourself, maybe even convince JJ why this wasn't such an easy decision. You looked up at him and your heart sank at the complete confusion on his face. "You don't get it" you said, disappointed.

"Oh, I'm following you" he reassured you "but I haven't heard you say one thing about what you want. I hear loud and clear what your dad wants, what-" he grimaced, head cocked in anger "he wants" refusing to say your fiancé's name, "But, what about you?"

Your mind echoed back to the first conversation you had with your mother.

"Sweetheart, this isn't just about you."

"THIS IS ABOUT ME! THIS IS MY LIFE!" you had shouted.

And you realized JJ was the first person to acknowledge that you were squarely in the middle of this situation, that this was in fact about you. You hung your head.

JJ mustered his courage to ask the one question he didn't want to ask but desperately needed the answer to. The one with the power to save his life or crush his heart.

"Do you love him?" he murmured.

You were shaking your head before you could register your own movement. Like your body needed JJ to know the words you couldn't say out loud. You looked up at him, biting your lower lip, tears in your eyes again, shaking your head in earnest now as he looked at you like his heart was breaking and mending and breaking again in front of you.

"He's cheating on me" you said finally, the last piece of the puzzle sliding into place as you hung your head again.

"He what?" JJ said incredulously, his voice rising.

"He's cheating on me, sleeping with my best friend" you repeated, like he didn't hear you. You registered him walking away and looked up to see him pacing angrily away from you, hands on his head.

"JJ?" you said and he stopped walking, back still to you as he leaned over and cradled his head in his hands like he physically couldn't take the information you had just shared with him. After a moment, he stood up and walked back over to you.

"Princess" he said, his voice pleading with you as he took your face in his hands gently, emotion thick in his voice, squashing the anger simmering just under the surface. "I can't tell you what to do, I won't tell you what to do, you have enough people in your life doing that for you. All I can do is tell you how I feel because I've been trying to do it for the past week but didn't want to misread the situation. The first night I saw you I thought, no, I knew you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my entire life. I told myself that if you even deigned to speak to me that I would do anything I could to make sure I put a smile on your face every day. That's what I've tried to do, to make you smile, to make you happy, to show you some fun, but along the way it became a whole lot more than that."

"JJ" you whispered, your bottom lip quivering.

He continued without pausing, "It wasn't enough just to go swimming together or go surfing or be out on the boat. I was craving you every moment we were apart, craving the chance to make you laugh, to be the reason there's a smile on those goddamn perfect lips, to see that twinkle in your eye, to grab your attention, even if it's to laugh at me or something stupid I said, I literally didn't care. I only have eyes for you... You know what I thought that day we were surfing and you thought there was something in the water?"

You shook your head.

"I thought that a shark could have bitten my leg off and I would have been the happiest guy in the world to spend my last damn moments on earth surfing with you, knowing that you were in my arms, that you felt safe in my arms, that you wanted to be in my arms" he choked up a bit at that. "That's not normal Y/N. Nothing I feel about you is normal. What we have isn't normal. It's fucking extraordinary. I'm falling in love with you, Y/N. Hard."

Tears slid down your cheeks as your lips continued to wobble. JJ pulled your face closer to his, now just inches away as he held your face in his palms, gently but firmly. He was biting his lower lip, eyes glancing at your lips.

You closed your eyes, pursing your lips. You felt him move forward when you whispered, "JJ, I can't, we can't. I'm engaged, and I won't do to him what he's done to me."

He sighed heavily as he rested his forehead against yours before pulling you back into his arms in a warm hug. He admired your morals and hated them at the same time.

"What are you going to do, princess?" he asked quietly after a few minutes.

"I don't know" you said, your voice barely a whisper as you hugged him closer. Willing the world to stop turning, so you didn't have to face tomorrow.

You wouldn't have wanted to spend your last morning anywhere else as you and JJ paddled out to surf. There was a thick tension in the air and an uncharacteristic seriousness about him that ebbed away but never fully disappeared as you fell into your normal rhythms, though this time it was you trying to make him laugh rather than the other way around. You could feel him looking at you closely as you bobbed in the waves, like he was trying to memorize you, afraid you would slip away.

You spent the rest of the day packing and going through the motions, in denial at the idea of leaving the place and the person that had become so special to you.

Your friends wanted to throw you a goodbye party at the chateau, which you managed to enjoy despite the circumstances. Your heart squeezed at the idea of leaving more than just the rolling beach, the morning surf and the blonde boy behind, but also a group of genuine friends, so drastically different than your so-called friends back at home.

JJ gave you a ride home that night. It felt fitting to spend your last night on the back of his bike, your bodies molded together comfortably as you leaned into him, resting your head on his back, hugging his abs with practiced ease. You had traded your dress and high heels for a damp bikini, shorts and one of his sweatshirts and you no longer worried about getting your hair tangled. A lot had changed in two weeks.

He rolled slowly up to your driveway, cutting off the engine but refusing to move, like if he didn't get off the bike, then he didn't have to say goodbye. You slid off the back, pulled off your helmet and shook out your hair like you'd been doing it the whole summer. JJ took off his own and let his eyes roam over you, the relaxed way your body moved, the sunburn on your nose from your days in the sun, the way you looked in his sweatshirt. He had told himself he was going to show you a good time and he had. If nothing else, he was happy to give you that, even if you didn't share his feelings. He got off the bike and looked down at you, smiling sweetly but sadly as he brushed his thumb over your cheek.

"I don't want to say goodbye" he said sadly.

You stomach churned with a guilt different from the one you had felt all week. You weren't guilty for the way you felt about JJ anymore. You were guilty for the look he had on his face right now, like you had taken this happy and carefree boy and run his heart over with his own bike.

"Please don't be sad" you said pleadingly.

"How can I not be sad?" he said with a bitter laugh, "You're leaving me."

"I'm not leaving you" you said pointedly. "I have to go home, I have to figure things out."

"And then what?" he pressed boldly, kicking himself at the fear and anger evident in his voice as he dropped his hand from your face.

"And then, I don't know!" you said, exasperated. "I'm doing the best I can, JJ. It's just a lot to figure out."

"Seems pretty simple to me" he said tartly.

You sighed in frustration.

"I'm sorry" he said quickly, "I don't want to fight with you. I'm just sad my surfing buddy is leaving" he joked, trying to lighten the mood as he leaned over to hug you. You curled into his arms, pressing your body firmly against his in a hug much more intimate than one shared with a friend as he nuzzled into your neck and the warmth of his breath tickled your skin. You swayed back and forth like that for a moment before you finally let go. You met his midnight blue eyes one last time as they drank you in. A sweet smile rested on his lips as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "Come back to me, princess" he said, stepping back and taking one last look at you before he hopped on his bike and rode down the street.

You managed to make it all the way to your room and into your bed before you cried loudly into your pillow, tugging his sweatshirt around you.

You were up early the next morning for your flight. When your alarm blared it felt like you hadn't slept more than an hour. You blearily showered and got dressed, stuffing JJ's sweatshirt deep into your suitcase before dragging it downstairs. You and your mom sipped your coffees in silence, trading glares over your mugs before you stepped outside to load up the car. You had wrangled your suitcase to the bottom of the stairs before you looked up and dropped your suitcase at your feet, your eyes transfixed on the single pink peony resting on the hood of your car. You ran over to, looking for a note and smiling when you didn't find one. You didn't need a note, you knew who it was from. You held it close to your chest like you could reach him through it. You finished packing the car and your mother pointedly ignored the flower as you tucked it into your purse.

The flight back home was uneventful but for the blanket of silence that rested over the two of you. The veil of the fun girls' getaway torn away to reveal the farce that it was.

So much had changed for you in the two weeks you were gone that you were surprised when you pulled into your driveway to see everything exactly as you'd left it. Your life had been flipped on its head, but this reality continued, unchanging. It felt like your house should have burned to the ground or that everyone around you should know what happened in the Outer Banks, but they didn't, they carried on and tugged you along with them in a whirlwind of dinner parties and wedding planning. You followed in dazed confusion, like a toddler aimlessly follows a parent. You touched the clothes in your closet, ran your hand over your kitchen counter like you were a stranger in your own home, like they belonged to someone else. This didn't feel like a part of you anymore.

JJ texted you relentlessly, and even tried calling, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up and deleted the texts before reading them. You didn't want to torture yourself with something you could never have, as you felt everything you had with him slipping through your fingers.

Before you knew it, three weeks had passed. You felt like a zombie. Carson could tell something was off, even he wasn't that stupid. When he went to kiss you, you turned away and gave him your cheek instead, and when he reached for you in bed you rolled away and he also turned away, aggressive in his rejection. His touch made your skin crawl.

On the morning of the fourth week since you were back you were surprised to find a note on your bedside table when you woke up.

Come downstairs, I have a surprise for you ❤️

That shouldn't have made you gag. You wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but you weren't sleeping well anyway. You pulled yourself up, groaning, tugging on your robe and slippers and padding downstairs to the kitchen. Your breath caught in your throat. Every surface had a bursting bouquet of pink roses. As Carson saw you enter the room, he handed you an iced latte from Starbucks. "Iced caramel latte and pink roses!" he said, clearly thrilled with himself. "Your favorites!" You looked down at the iced beverage, ice already half melted and looked around at the pink flowers, all the wrong type. You looked at your large kitchen with marble countertops and the open floorplan that poured into a designer-decorated living room as you thought about the single pink peony on your car. You sighed, tears rising up. You set the coffee down on the counter and turned to face Carson. You were scared. Terrified. You were making a cataclysmic life decision that you weren't sure you had the courage to make. You thought about the feeling of a dirt bike skidding out beneath your three-inch heels, you thought about dark choppy waves filled with sharks and jellyfish and slimy things that tickled your toes and then you thought about warm arms and a blonde-haired boy that promised you that if you had a little courage, everything was going to be okay. You reached for your ring and tugged it off your finger, placing it in Carson's hand.

It had been four weeks and John B didn't have it in him to tell JJ he had been right all along as he watched his best friend trudge through the days like he was sleepwalking. He was doing all of the JJ things with none of the JJ energy. He paddled out to surf with them but let wave after wave go by as he stared blankly out at the ocean, like he was hoping you would appear out of thin air. He went to parties and didn't touch a drop of alcohol. He smiled and laughed but none of it reached his eyes and when he thought no one was looking, he sunk quietly into himself, brows furrowed, hands running over his face, eyes fixed on his phone, willing it to ring.

Now JJ was kicked back at the chateau, laying in the hammock by himself in silence, staring out over the marsh.

"This is so depressing" Pope said as he looked over at him and the group nodded in agreement.

Sarah's phone chimed and she pulled it out of her pocket, her eyes quickly scanning the text as a grin spread on her face and she beckoned the group around her quietly.

As the night came to a close and everyone was getting ready to leave, Sarah shot John B a knowing look.

"Hey JJ - we surfin' our spot tomorrow?" he asked.

"I don't know, man" JJ said lazily as he rolled out of the hammock and trudged over to the group. "I might just stay in, get some sleep... you know..." he trailed off.

Sarah shot John B another look, urging him on.

"Come on, man, the waves are supposed to be tight with that storm rolling off Florida. Boys day!" he said, pointing at Pope.

"Y-yeah!" Pope said, picking up late on the hint, "Boys day, come on!"

"Fine, fine" JJ said, waving them off as he wandered over to his bike. "I'll see y'all in the morning." As the bike kicked up dust, John B and Pope pounded fists.

JJ barely managed to pull himself out of bed. He felt nauseous. Sick. He couldn't remember the last time he ate. That probably had something to do with it. The ache in his heart probably had more to do with it. He lazily pulled on a bathing suit off the floor, grabbed his board and hopped on his bike. He didn't want to be grilled for missing 'boys day', whatever that meant.

He was pissed to see he was the first one there as he trudged down to the water, sticking his board in the sand and flopping down onto his back, bringing an arm to cover his eyes from the early morning sun. He was so deep in his own head, he didn't hear the sound of the sand kicking up beside him.

"Laying alone in the sand at 6:00 in the morning, isn't a great way to meet people" a voice said.

He thought he was hallucinating as he shot up, eyes searching for the source of the voice and coming to land on you. You were in his favorite bikini, one hand covering your eyes from the sun as you smiled at him, one hand on your hip. He stood up so quickly he nearly lost his balance in the sand.

"Y/N?" he said, confusion and awe clear in his voice along with a thousand unspoken questions. What are you doing here? What does this mean? He was frozen to the spot, mouth opening and closing, clearly trying to string together a sentence when you flashed your left hand at him like you had the first night you met, letting the lack of a ring speak for itself. His eyes grew wide at the sight, his heart wanting so desperately to believe what his eyes could see.

Please don't let this be a dream. Please don't let this be a dream he thought as he walked towards you. When he finally placed his hands on either side of your face, when his fingers made contact with your warm skin, confirming you weren't a figment of his imagination, his smile was back as he grinned from ear to ear, eyes twinkling as he threw his head back and let out a loud "WOOOOO!" before scooping you into his arms and spinning you around. Your heart soared. He was like a little kid on a candy high as he spun you around and then took off for the water, sprinting into the ocean as you both laughed and tumbled into the waves together, momentarily losing your grasp on one another before you resurfaced and his arms reached out for you underwater, tugging you towards him again, your arms wrapping around his neck, your legs wrapping around his waist, your bodies perfectly molded to one another.

Something about being back in the water together where you had spent so much time stealing glances, brushing limbs and dancing around each other heightened the tension as your wet bodies pressed tightly together. All of him was pressed against all of you. You were hypersensitive to each other's touch; no longer forbidden, no longer secret. He ran his hand up your back and his thick arms encircled you, the simple touch mind-numbingly sexy after so much time apart. You brushed his damp hair off his forehead, letting your fingers tangle in his blonde locks, your faces inches from each other. He smiled at the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He couldn't wait any longer, he pulled you into him. He tasted like saltwater and sunscreen and summer. He kissed you deeply and passionately, a hand behind your head as he flicked his tongue against your lower lip and you let it curl into your mouth, reciprocating with your own. He pulled you impossibly closer to him as you bobbed in the waves together. You paused, trying to pull back. There was a lot you needed to say. "MmMm" he said, shaking his head against yours, refusing to break the kiss and instead kissing your deeper as he let his hands roam over your body. Your head was swimming, dizzy with his touch.

"JJ!" you managed to sneak out finally, taking his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. "There's a lot I need to say."

"I think you're speaking loud and clear" he said, squeezing you and running a hand down to squeeze your ass, making you laugh as you slapped his shoulder playfully.

"I mean it!" you said, giggling, and he took the opportunity to kiss you again quickly. You took his face in your hands, tone serious. "I'm sorry I didn't see what was right in front of me. I-I was scared. Scared to walk away from what I knew even if it wasn't what I wanted. I know that might not make sense, but you gave me the courage to do it. To go after what I wanted for me, for my life."

He smiled, meeting your strong gaze with his, "Nah, princess, you did that all on your own."

"Well, if it wasn't abundantly obvious" you said, "I'm falling in love with you too, JJ Maybank. Hard." You could barely get the words out before he crashed his lips to yours again, capturing your smile with his own.

part two!

taglist: @ietss, @gillybear17, @palmwinemami, @sweetestdesire, @m-indkiller, @ashlaylayxd

[mirai-e-jump]

Masato Yano Photobook: TONE (translations and select pages below)

Publication: March 15, 2024

Masato Yano's 132 Q&A About 13 years ago, "Masato Yano's Style Photobook" was published with a Q&A. Now, a 32 year old Masato Yano answers nearly the same questions again.

1) What's your nickname? Yanocchi, Masanii, Masati

2) When were you born? December 16, 1991

3) What's your blood type? Type B

4) Your zodiac sign? Sagittarius

5) What size family are you from? I come from a family of 4

6) How tall are you? 173cm

7) Your shoe size? 26.5cm

8) What are some of your strengths? My jokes

9) How do you spend your days off? I'll drink the night before, go to the gym

10) What subjects were you worst at? Math and history

11) What are your favorite foods? Sushi and tsukemen

12) What's your assessment of your own personality? I'm easily obsessive and bored. I'm actually shy, but I'm trying my best so you don't think that way (laughs)

13) What are some of your weaknesses? I'm not good at remembering things like people's birthdays or names

14) What are you proud of? That I made my debut in "Shintokumaru"

15) What's your favorite color? Red and white

16) What type of woman do you like? Someone with a good core, someone who eats beautifully

17) What instruments can you play? None

18) What's your special skill? That I can guess who someone is just by their voice

19) What's your best feature? My double eyelids

20) What do you wish would disappear from the world? War

21) The first impressions that are often said about you? That I look scary

22) The person that you respect? Tsumabuki Satoshi-san and Fujiwara Tatsuya-san

23) What do you have a habit of saying? "~nanoyo" and "oh no"

24) Your least favorite type? Someone who only talks about themself

25) What's your treasure? The wallet I received from Tsumabuki-san

26) The ideal self that you desire to be? I want to be liked by many people

27) What's your "theme song"? Recently it's been that I'm the "most powerful king"

28) Your favorite artists? WATWING, the Carpenters, Eric Clapton, GENERATIONS

29) What do you do when you first wake up in the morning? Put on my glasses

30) What do you do right before bed? Put on the radio

31) What habits do you do unconsciously? Touch my nose, do things like suck on the end of a straw

32) What do you usually perform at karaoke? I tend to sing alot by SMAP

33) What foods do you not like? Shiitake mushrooms

34) What's your favorite thing to drink? Mets Grapefruit

35) What was the first CD you ever bought? Jet Coaster Romance by KinKi Kids

36) What do you like to watch and what's your favorite anime? Great Pretender, soccer games

37) How long does it take for you to bathe? 1 hour

38) What's your favorite season? I don't do well with heat

39) When do your emotions become intense? They don't

40) What are your hobbies? Muscle training

41) Do you cry easily? When I feel like it

42) Do you have a pet? What's it's name? I had one. It was a cat named Chaco

43) How many children do you want? I want two. A boy and a girl

44) What's the first thing you look at when entering a convenience store? The bento corner

45) What do you usually buy from a convenience store? Water and spicy ramen

46) What really makes you angry? Nothing much

47) What's the number one thing you want right now? Muscles! (laughs)

48) What have you been secretly interested in recently? The Korean language

49) What's the one thing you'd take to a deserted island? A lighter

50) How do you relax at home? Burn incense and listen to some records

51) What's necessary for world peace? Love

52) What do you wonder about? Why is there a Ladies Day, but not a Men's Day?

53) What would you do if the world ended today? I'd overdo things as usual

54) S? M? I wouldn't say I'm an M💦

55) What's your phone background? Currently it's King-Ohger (for the past 2 months)

56) What animal would you compare yourself to? Some kind of reptilian I guess

57) What are you into these days? Cilantro

58) What do you like to collect? Miniature food sets

59) What's your favorite scent? White musk types, Savon by SHIRO

60) What's something expensive that you bought recently? A vintage varsity jacket

61) How often do you go out shopping? At the very least I go out once a month

62) Can you cook? I do it often

63) What kind of present would you be happy to get from a friend? I'd be happy with anything

64) What would make a girl happy if you gave her a present? Aesop

65) What's your fetish? Legs

66) What would the ideal confession be? Saying it on the way back home after going out for meals a few times

67) At what age do you want to marry by? Hopefully by 40 (laughs)

68) What's something good you do for your body? I go to the gym

69) What's something you always have on you? Chapstick

70) What's the ideal spot for a date? A buffet

71) Which do you prefer? The sea or the mountains? Both the sea and mountains have alot of bugs

72) What scares you? Roller coasters, horror, cockroaches

73) When does your excitement rise? When my work goes well

74) What's your favorite place? Home

75) What's your favorite store? It's a secret ❤️

76) Are you a meat eater? Vegetarian? Are you a fan of cabbage rolls? I eat bugs

77) What's your favorite onigiri topping? Salmon roe

78) What do you usually get at a cafe? I don't go to cafes

79) What's something tasty you've eaten recently? The umeboshi Fukuyama-kun gave me

80) What have you been paranoid about recently? That a big earthquake will hit Tokyo

81) Where do you start washing your body from? My head

82) What's your favorite type of fashion? Things that give off an "American casual" feel

83) At what moment do you fall in love with someone? Sometimes it's not really apparent

84) What words make you happy to hear? "Your performance was good"

85) What's your favorite movie? Grave of the Fireflies

86) What person do you really want to meet right now? Ninagawa-san

87) What's something that's alittle luxurious? Sushi that doesn't come from a conveyor belt

88) How would you describe yourself with a single (kanji) character? "Think," because no matter what I do or say, I have alot to think about.

89) How long does it take you to get up in the morning and leave your house? On a work day it takes 20 minutes. I usually don't go out on my days off (laughs)

90) What changes your mood? When I'm left out

91) What would you consider (if they did) to be cheating on you? If they did a deep kiss (laughs)

92) Are you sensitive to the heat? To the cold? I don't like either

93) Emails or phone calls, which is better? Writing is best

94) What do you frequently use on your phone? Instagram, Twitter, Uber

95) How old were you when you first fell in love? What kind of person were they? It was a kid who lived in my neighborhood when I was in my second year of elementary school.

96) What gestures do women do that make you feel excited? When they put their hair behind one ear

97) Are you enjoying work right now? I want to have fun (laughs)

98) What's your favorite TV program? Programs that only feature comedians

99) What's your favorite sport? Soccer

100) What's your least favorite sport? Baseball

101) Are you the type of person who likes park rides that cause you to scream? I don't do well with them, but if I'm asked to ride one, I will (laughs)

102) Are you good at athletics? I think I'm a good at it

103) What do you take photos of? Tsukemen and sushi

104) What's your favorite flower? Gerbera

105) What's your favorite event of the year? It's New Year's Eve, I'll have a party with my friends and we'll eat alot

106) What's your top 3 favorite stalls at a festival? Beef skewers is #3, grilled squid is #2, okonomiyaki is #1

107) What was your most stressful experience? Performing on opening day for Shintokumaru

108) Your favorite donburi? Beef bowl

109) Are you good with your hands? I wonder~?

110) How long do you sleep in a day? About 3-7 hours. I sleep alot longer on days when I don't work

111) Is your sleeping position good? I think it's okay

112) What's your favorite ramen? I love tsukemen. I have a "cat's tongue" though

113) What color would you compare yourself to? Purple

114) Do you like scary stories? I don't like them in any way (laughs)

115) What subjects were you best at? Gym and art

116) What club activities were you involved in? The soccer club in middle school and the dance club in high school

117) If you were reborn, would you rather be male or female? I'd still want to be male

118) What part time jobs have you had? A bread factory, an Izakaya, a festival stall

119) What do you want to do when you're 40? Meet fans at events

120) What were your favorite school lunches? Nanbanzuke, meat sauce

121) Have you ever seen a ghost? I might've (laughs)

122) What's something you'd like to try that you've never experienced before? Travel overseas

123) Where would you like to take a trip to? Hot springs, Korea, Italy

124) What's your favorite ride at an amusement park? The exploration based ones

125) How many times in one day do you send emails? Currently, I exchange about 30-50 LINE's a day

126) Were you the type of person who finished their Summer homework early? I always felt like I was rushing to finish it at the last second💦

127) Are you more likely to arrive early for a meet up? Or do you arrive late? For work I'm early, in my private life I'm late

128) If you want to go out with someone, how many years older are you okay with? I've never thought about it in terms of age

129) What's an essential item you need when traveling? Earphones

130) What do you do when you can't sleep at night? There are so many things that I'll just give up. I actually thought about this questionnaire when I couldn't sleep (laughs)

131) What do you think about while brushing your teeth? I imagine that there's red paint on my teeth, and then I'll imagine how I have to get it off

132) If you only had one week left to live, what would you do? I'd eat a bunch of the foods I like. I'd meet up with the people I like as much as possible. I'd leave a secret audio farewell message for everyone

[louisupdates]

Louis Tomlinson to Livestream FOR EVERY QUESTION WHY Mexico City Concert

Louis will be the first male solo artist to headline the Autódromo Hermanos Rodríguez venue, which is the home of the Mexican F1 Grand Prix.

By: Josh Sharpe | May. 20, 2024

In a landmark event for fans around the world, British singer/songwriter Louis Tomlinson is set to perform one night only at the Autódromo Hermanos Rodríguez - Curva 4 in Mexico City on Saturday, June 1, 2024. Louis will be the first male solo artist to headline the venue, which is the home of the Mexican F1 Grand Prix.

As part of his 'Faith In The Future World Tour’, the show is the culmination and the final stadium show of two back-to-back world tours that have sold over 1.5M tickets and taken Louis to 47 countries across 5 continents. Louis Tomlinson - For Every Question Why: Live and Direct from Mexico City will air LIVE on Veeps, offering fans around the world exclusive access to the first concert Louis has ever streamed in front of an in-person crowd.

The livestream will be directed by Grammy-nominated and Emmy award-winning director Sam Wrench, who has earned wide acclaim for his work on Taylor Swift’s The Eras Tour film as well as Billie Eilish: Live at the O2. Individual tickets are on sale for $16.99 HERE. To cater to the timezones of a truly global fanbase, there will be two opportunities for fans to gather on the streams — a livestream direct from the show at approximately 8pm PDT / 9pm CST (Mexico)* on Saturday, June 1 and an encore broadcast on Sunday, June 2 at 6pm BST / 7pm CET.* The encore broadcast will include exclusive backstage and bonus footage not included in the first livestream.

Louis will be partnering with War Child UK for the livestream and donating a portion of the proceeds from every ticket sold. War Child UK is committed to ensuring a safe future for every child affected by war. With 30 years of experience, they work with local communities and governments to protect, educate, and support children in war zones, aiming to reach them quickly and stay long after the crisis has passed. War Child creates safe spaces for children to play, learn, and heal, advocating for their rights and amplifying their voices.

Veeps and Louis have partnered a number of times since Veeps’ inception, each time crafting unique and heartfelt experiences for fans tuning in — from his 2020 Live From London lockdown performance that brought together 160,000 fans for the biggest livestream concert ever held by a solo male artist, to an airing of his feature-length documentary All of Those Voices coupled with a live red carpet cross and intimate Q&A. (In a show of the closeness of Louis’s fans, the stream generated an enormous 30,000 chat messages amongst those that tuned in.)

Louis’s journey from global superstardom with One Direction to solo success has been marked by a series of bold, creative choices, kicking off with his debut album, Walls, which has sold over 1.5 million copies. Its 2022 follow up, Faith in the Future, went to No.1 in the UK, Spain and Belgium, and Top 5 in the USA, Australia, New Zealand and across Europe. In 2021, Louis was listed in the Guinness Book Of World Records for breaking the record for the most live streamed concert by a solo male artist, hosting one of the biggest live stream concert events ever held, selling over 160,000 tickets to fans in over 110 countries and raising funds for several important charities.

This month, Louis unveiled a surprise live album, LIVE, with the digital version comprising a collection of 15 songs, all released live for the very first time. Each song was recorded in a different city, at a different show, spanning the past 3 years across Louis's two global world tours which have seen him perform over 170 shows to date. LIVE will also be released on CD and LP on August 23 with 3 additional tracks exclusive to the physical formats only. Both are available now to pre-order. The CD includes exclusive live versions of “High In California” and “Where Do Broken Hearts Go,” while the LP includes exclusive live versions of “High In California,” “Only The Brave” and “Kill My Mind.”

As Louis wraps up his tour, Autódromo Hermanos Rodríguez - Curva 4 will provide a dynamic backdrop for a livestream performance. As one of the biggest artists for new fans on Veeps, this concert is not just a show; it's a global event, bringing together fans from all corners of the world to celebrate the music of one of the most influential artists of our time.

Tickets to Louis Tomlinson - For Every Question Why: Live and Direct from Mexico City will be available for $16.99 at https://veeps.events/louis-tomlinson-live-from-mexico. The show will air live on June 1, 2024 at 8pm PDT / 9pm CST (Mexico), with the special encore broadcast airing at 6pm BST / 7pm CET on June 2.* The stream will be available exclusively on Veeps for 12 months after the original airdate, with a 7-day rewatch window for individual ticket purchasers.

[psu-misc]

Getting to know you!

1. What is you middle name?

2. How old are you?

3. When is your birthday?

4. What is your zodiac sign?

5. What is your favorite color?

6. What’s your lucky number?

7. Do you have any pets?

8. Where are you from?

9. How tall are you?

10. What shoe size are you?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

12. What was your last dream about?

13. What talents do you have?

14. Are you psychic in any way?

15. Favorite song?

16. Favorite movie?

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

18. Do you want children?

19. Do you want a church wedding?

20. Are you religious?

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

24. Baths or showers?

25. What color socks are you wearing?

26. Have you ever been famous?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

28. What type of music do you like?

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

32. How big is your house?

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

35. Have you ever tried archery?

36. Favorite clean word?

37. Favorite swear word?

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

39. Do you have any scars?

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

41. Are you a good liar?

42. Are you a good judge of character?

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

44. Do you have a strong accent?

45. What is your favorite accent?

46. What is your personality type?

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

48. Can you curl your tongue?

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

50. Left or right handed?

Feel free to reblog this on as many characters as you'd like; if you do, please be sure to send asks to others so we can all participate in the fun!

meme credit (x)

[grandparomeaskblog]

Questionlist for Hetalia Character Blogs

Please send at least one number, one emoji and one letter to the person you reblogged this from.

Live (past & present)

1. How are you?

2. What is your entire name and what does it mean?

3. What age do you get mistaken for?

4. What do you do if you can't sleep?

5. Are you a good cook?

6. How does your office/workspace look like?

7. What is your greatest strenght?

8. Do you have any bad habits?

9. Do you ever want to escape society for a while?

10. What small things makes you happy?

11. What's your earliest memory?

12. During your life, what has been one of the most interesting time periods?

13. Have you ever considered (or looked for) ways to end your immortality?

14. How do you deal with avoiding suspicion while living forever?

15. Do you ever have trouble with new technology?

16. What is one (or more) inventions you’re thankful exist in your current time?

17. What is a thing most people don’t know about you, but should.

18. What was one of the hardest moments in your life

19. What's something you’re currently worrying about?

20. What’s one quality you would like to have?

21. What car would you pick if it was completely free?

22. What would make you drop a school/quit a job?

23. Share a memory of a historical event/change of importance you’ve witnessed.

24. When did you first met another immortal?

Love (relationships/family)

🤠Name three things that you value in other nations

💞How much public display of affection is ok to you

💔How do you handle rejection or unrequited love?

❤️‍🔥Have you ever questioned your sexuality?

🥳Do you have children?

😻Has a partner ever changed your mind on children?

👽Do you create bonds with mortals or avoid getting attached?

👻Do you still think about ordinairy people you knew years, even centuries, ago?

💪What would you say is your best quality?

💋Who was your first kiss with?

💌Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

💥Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

🤔What do you say to new parents with an 'ugly' baby

😡A compliment do you give to people you hate?

🥰What’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

🫡How long was your longest romantic relationship?

😅Have you ever cheated on someone?

🤐What’s the most annoying thing about someone you love?

🤣Pick three nations: murder, marry, mate

🥸Favorite thing to do with friends?

🤮Someone you regret meeting?

Laugh (hobbies/interests)

A. how do you feel about camping?

B. what do you do to relax?

C. Do you like dancing?

D. What genre of music do you like?

E. What is the most illegal thing you have done?

F. Name one thing that never gets old or loses its charm for you.

G. Name something you are working on right now.

H. Share something about yourself others might think is weird.

I. Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past.

J. What’s something you can see yourself going to jail for?

K. Which element on the Periodic Table would you be?

L. What’s more important to you: strength of the body or strength of the mind?

M. If you were chosen president, what's the first thing that you would you change for the better?

N. What do you enjoy watching on the television?

O. What is a gift you love receiving?

[ladycamdens]

hi friends. i removed my post from reddit, not because i retract my statements about kong, but because this whole thing has been too triggering for me tbh.

this post is sort of a way for me to vent and provide some clarifying statements for anyone who is interested. feel free to ask questions if anything is unclear.

kween kong and i were "drag family" from 2019 to 2020. in that time, we saw each other basically every weekend she was home. i worked hours and hours of unpaid work for her, as did the rest of her drag family. which she would later completely discredit and talk shit about us all for.

when we first met, she just didn't talk about her race much. she lip synced the n word (as pictured in this video)

and wore box braids and things like durags. she also strictly performed songs by African American artists. at first, i did presume she was black. then, within that time, when actively asked by us, according to her, she was of strictly Pacific Island descent. on both sides of her family. and still only publicly claims that.

i also remember being out with her @ lunch once, she looked at the Cafe staff and said (loudly) "these *n slurs* clearly want us to leave". i also then wanted to leave. it would be very shortly after that that we would have a very public falling out. where i called her out for this post on her insta story

keep in mind she did nothing but yap about how she was creating a "safe space" for all of us and had multiple plus sized daughters.

now flash forward to her time on drag race !!!

she was still doing looks like this and not addressing her racism

i love all the zebras and black girl magic in *checks notes* Polynesia...

she would finally claim some of her actual identity, only to play activist, whilst promoting a bar that she knew employed abusers

now the final nail in this goddamn coffin is how she lied about her children

1. all of her children, bar two of us had perfectly fine relationships with our parents. and most of them lived at home lmao

2. one of her daughter's CHOSE to do escorting. she still does.

3. on average the members were about 24. there were zero minors in the haus of Kong. you cannot work bar gigs in australia under the age of 18.

4. whenever her daughters, usually young POC trans kids, asked her for help, she would demonise them and say all they did was take from her.

5. as i mentioned before, we were largely unpaid. our actual lipsync numbers were paid through tipping - which is near unheard of here. most queens get a booking fee. if you didn't have a lot of friends or family you'd be lucky to make $20

photo of me with the fucking "kong dollars" as she called them

if you got through this entire post. thank you. that means a lot to me. i love you all. if you do wish to share this it would be really helpful to me. okay bye xo

[honeyxmonkey]

Sorry, here are the numbers/questions for the question I asked last night.

1. Are they happy with their body?

2. Do they have any secret piercings or tattoos?

3. Do they collect anything?

4. What is their favorite music genre?

5. What music genre, if any, do they hate the most?

6. What is their phone background/lock screen?

7. What is their shoe size?

8. Do they have a favorite fabric or texture?

9. Do they have a favorite professional sport?

10. How do they decorate their living space?

11. Are they messy, or do they clean up?

12. What’s their preferred sleeping position?

13. Did they have a favorite comfort item as a child?

14. Do they have a favorite period in history?

16. What food do they hate eating?

17. Do they have any allergies?

18. What was their worst injury?

19. What movie is most likely to make them cry?

20. What movie or book could they watch/read a hundred times and never get tired of?

21. Can they dance? Do they like to?

22. What was their favorite birthday gift?

23. Which birthday do they look back on the most fondly?

24. What kind of cake or birthday treat would they prefer?

25. What is their favorite animal?

27. What smell do they hate the most?

28. What sound do they hate the most?

29. What video game would appeal to them the best?

30. How would they relax on a day off/rainy day?

31. Are they combative? What is their fighting style?

32. Would they be the one to start an argument?

33. What is their personal style? Favorite outfit?

34. Do they have a dream job?

35. What do they do if they can’t fall asleep?

37. Do they prefer to be really cold or really warm?

38. What recurring dream do they keep having?

42. If they have siblings, do they like any of them? Would they rather be an only child?

43. What do they think is their worst quality? What is their actual worst quality?

44. Do they lie often? Are they good at it?

45. Are they good at keeping secrets?

46. How do others see them? How accurate is it to how they really are?

47. What kind of first impression do they usually make?

48. What are they most afraid of? 49. Would they ever kill anybody?

OH WOW

Hello, my friend, you have BOMBARDED me with these asks, I love it :]

For Sarah and Harley:

Yes, I'd say so. They're pretty young, so they haven't gone through that oh-so traumatic "everything about me is weird and awkward" phase of youth yet. Though, Harley has some self-consciousness of a few of the scars he gets on the SW quest

As of now? No, but Harley gets into punk rock and Sarah is super ride or die for basically any bad idea he has, so when they're 17 they get tattoos without telling anyone. Both their parents are livid about it

Sarah collects cool rocks and Harley collects dinosaurs :]

As said previously, Harley gets into punk rock, and Sarah has One music aesthetic and its the Crane Wives

Oh god, ummmmmm, neither of them particularly hate any music genre. Except for a few country songs that they only make fun of to annoy Steve, who does like Country, for some reason he won't ever explain

Sarah's phone background is a really blurry picture of her dog playing tug-of-war with one of Harley's raptors, and his is also a really blurry picture of the same thing but taken from a different angle

I've never thought about it, I don't really know tbh

Bubble. Wrap.

It's not professional by any means, at least, not in the mortal world--but they both get really competitive about Pyrobligst

Harley puts up tacky and overly colorful posters that don't even make sense because of how little color he grew up with. Sarah is a string lights kinda gal

They're 13 yr olds, of course they're messy

Harley: amidst a pile of raptors. Sarah: hogging all the blankets, she's the worst at sleepovers

They're both still children to me, so I'd say probably little trinkets their parents gave them when they're away from home for demigod business

Sarah is all about the Renaissance, though no one can figure out why. Harley is partial to the 1700s, mostly because a certain immortal pirate captain works for his father and likes to tell him stories of his time on the high seas

Harley can't cook and should never be trusted near a stove. Sarah is only a little bit better, but they're both chaotic and think they can bend the laws of physics to make cooking time go faster. Jim doesn't let them in the kitchen anymore

They both hate seafood. They don't like the texture, they don't like the taste. No I'm not projecting

No allergies per se, though they both get hit with seasonal stuff every spring and it kills their sinuses

Ooohhhhh, uh I will disincline to answer this because Spoilers

Any Pixar movie.

Harley will never, ever get tired of Alice in Wonderland. He relates to her way too much. Sarah doesn't read often because her dyslexia is worse than average for a demigod, but her favorite movie of all time is A Bug's Life

They both love to dance. Sarah is good at it, Harley's skill is better left unsaid, lol

Sarah's was definitely when Carter gifted her one of his knives. Very appropriate for a prepubescent girl, I know. Harley's was when Jim conscripted Leo and Nico's help to make him the infamous Raptor Resonating Chamber whistle he uses to properly communicate with his raptors

Sarah can't actually pick one because her life was pretty normal up until she met Carter. And Harley's will be the one on the island. For as sad as the situation is, they all do their best to make it fun

Chocolate all day every day

Sarah's is any pigeon ever. She found out about their past as domesticated animals and had Big Feelings about it. Harley's is the bat-eared fox. He aspires to pet one someday.

I will cut it there, and then reblog this post later, cause I don't want it to get too long all at once! Thanks for the asks!

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

The Invasion of Locusts

1 The word of the Lord that came to Joel son of Pethuel.

2 Hear this, you elders; listen, all who live in the land. Has anything like this ever happened in your days or in the days of your ancestors? 3 Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. 4 What the locust swarm has left the great locusts have eaten; what the great locusts have left the young locusts have eaten; what the young locusts have left other locusts have eaten.

5 Wake up, you drunkards, and weep! Wail, all you drinkers of wine; wail because of the new wine, for it has been snatched from your lips. 6 A nation has invaded my land, a mighty army without number; it has the teeth of a lion, the fangs of a lioness. 7 It has laid waste my vines and ruined my fig trees. It has stripped off their bark and thrown it away, leaving their branches white.

8 Mourn like a virgin in sackcloth grieving for the betrothed of her youth. 9 Grain offerings and drink offerings are cut off from the house of the Lord. The priests are in mourning, those who minister before the Lord. 10 The fields are ruined, the ground is dried up; the grain is destroyed, the new wine is dried up, the olive oil fails.

11 Despair, you farmers, wail, you vine growers; grieve for the wheat and the barley, because the harvest of the field is destroyed. 12 The vine is dried up and the fig tree is withered; the pomegranate, the palm and the apple tree— all the trees of the field—are dried up. Surely the people’s joy is withered away.

A Call to Lamentation

13 Put on sackcloth, you priests, and mourn; wail, you who minister before the altar. Come, spend the night in sackcloth, you who minister before my God; for the grain offerings and drink offerings are withheld from the house of your God. 14 Declare a holy fast; call a sacred assembly. Summon the elders and all who live in the land to the house of the Lord your God, and cry out to the Lord.

15 Alas for that day! For the day of the Lord is near; it will come like destruction from the Almighty.

16 Has not the food been cut off before our very eyes— joy and gladness from the house of our God? 17 The seeds are shriveled beneath the clods. The storehouses are in ruins, the granaries have been broken down, for the grain has dried up. 18 How the cattle moan! The herds mill about because they have no pasture; even the flocks of sheep are suffering.

19 To you, Lord, I call, for fire has devoured the pastures in the wilderness and flames have burned up all the trees of the field. 20 Even the wild animals pant for you; the streams of water have dried up and fire has devoured the pastures in the wilderness. — Joel 1 | New International Version (NIV) Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® All rights reserved worldwide. Cross References: Genesis 4:12; Exodus 10:2; Exodus 10:5; Exodus 10:14; Leviticus 23:36; Deuteronomy 12:7; 1 Kings 8:5; 1 Kings 17:7; 1 Kings 18:5; 1 Kings 21:27; 2 Kings 10:20; Job 8:8; Psalm 43:4; Psalm 50:15; Psalm 78:4; Song of Solomon 2:3; Song of Solomon 7:8; Isaiah 5:6; Isaiah 13:6; Isaiah 15:6; Isaiah 17:10-11; Isaiah 22:12; Isaiah 32:10; Jeremiah 1:2; Jeremiah 8:13; Jeremiah 9:10; Jeremiah 9:12; Jeremiah 12:4; Jeremiah 30:7; Lamentations 1:4; Ezekiel 30:2; Hosea 9:4; Joel 2:2; Joel 2:14; Matthew 6:26; Acts 2:16; Revelation 9:8; Revelation 6:17; Revelation 11:3

[i-ate-your-dog-srry]

1. What is you middle name?

2. How old are you?

3. When is your birthday?

4. What is your zodiac sign?

5. What is your favorite color?

6. What's your lucky number?

7. Do you have any pets?

8. Where are you from?

9. How tall are you?

10. What shoe size are you?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

12. What was your last dream about?

13. What talents do you have?

14. Are you psychic in any way?

15. Favorite song?

16. Favorite movie?

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

18. Do you want children?

19. Do you want a church wedding?

20. Are you religious?

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

24. Baths or showers?

25. What color socks are you wearing?

26. Have you ever been famous?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

28. What type of music do you like?

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

32. How big is your house?

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

35. Have you ever tried archery?

36. Favorite clean word?

37. Favorite swear word?

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?

39. Do you have any scars?

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

41. Are you a good liar?

42. Are you a good judge of character?

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

44. Do you have a strong accent?

45. What is your favorite accent?46. What is your personality type?

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

48. Can you curl your tongue?

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

50. Left or right handed?

51. Are you scared of spiders?

52. Favorite food?

53. Favorite foreign food?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

55. Most used phrased?

56. Most used word?

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

58. Do you have much of an ego?

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

60. Do you talk to yourself?

61. Do you sing to yourself?

62. Are you a good singer?

63. Biggest Fear?

64. Are you a gossip?

65. Best dramatic movie you've seen?

66. Do you like long or short hair?

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

68. Favorite school subject?

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

71. What makes you nervous?

72. Are you scared of the dark?

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

74. Are you ticklish?

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

78. Have you ever done drugs?

79. Who was your first real crush?

80. How many piercings do you have?

81. Can you roll your Rs?"

82. How fast can you type?

83. How fast can you run?

84. What color is your hair?

85. What color is your eyes?

86. What are you allergic to?

87. Do you keep a journal?

88. What do your parents do?

89. Do you like your age?90. What makes you angry?

91. Do you like your own name?

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

94. What are you strengths?

95. What are your weaknesses?

96. How did you get your name?

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

98. Do you have any scars?

99. Color of your bedspread?

100. Color of your room?

(Muhahahahahahahha /nf)

(Dang lol I had to copy and paste this)

1. What is you middle name?: Ryan!

2. How old are you?: 14!

3. When is your birthday?: July 13!

4. What is your zodiac sign?: cancer *wompwomp*

5. What is your favorite color?: red!!!!

6. What's your lucky number?: dunno I see 11:11 a lot, though

7. Do you have any pets?: 15 chickens 2 dogs, 5 cats, 3 rabbits, and one duck:3

8. Where are you from?: Canada :,3

9. How tall are you?: 5'1!!

10. What shoe size are you?: dunno

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?: one :,3

12. What was your last dream about?: my cats

13. What talents do you have?: art stuff

14. Are you psychic in any way?: uhhh no?? Lol

15. Favorite song?: I'm not sure? American idiot/star man

16. Favorite movie?: scream!

17. Who would be your ideal partner?: don't got anything for ya there

18. Do you want children?: dunno

19. Do you want a church wedding?: nah

20. Are you religious?: nah

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?: not really

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?: it was my dad's fault

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?: nah

24. Baths or showers?: bath!!!! Splash splash

25. What color socks are you wearing?: muahha non

26. Have you ever been famous?: nah

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?: small one?

28. What type of music do you like?: idk stuff like icp and American idiot

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?: NO

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?: two I like to have the other one beside me

31. What position do you usually sleep in?: on my side Curled up

32. How big is your house?: well I kinda live in to one is very small and one is abnormally huge

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?: Nothing, I don't have breakfast :3

34. Have you ever fired a gun?: lots :(

35. Have you ever tried archery?: hate it

36. Favorite clean word?: dang nabbit!

37. Favorite swear word?: For some reason, swearing makes me nervous

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?: 3 days I think 3 days and a half?

39. Do you have any scars?: One on my lip, one on my knee, one on my arm, one on my finger, and that's it, I think

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?: nuhh

41. Are you a good liar?: yeah

42. Are you a good judge of character?: dunno

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?: bad ones

44. Do you have a strong accent?: Nope? I got an American accent even though I'm from Canada tho

45. What is your favorite accent?: Russian! It's very pretty :3

46. What is your personality type?: I'm pretty closed off, but I'm weird when I get comfortable with u

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?: a sweater

48. Can you curl your tongue?: into a bowl shape!

49. Are you an innie or an outie?: innie!

50. Left or right handed?: switches up based on activities

51. Are you scared of spiders?: not really no

52. Favorite food?: oo.. I love food.. pasta? Any kind really! I also like sushi ALOT

53. Favorite foreign food?: SUSHIIII!!!

54. Are you a clean or messy person?: very messy

55. Most used phrase?: maybe uh "wowwi"

56. Most used word?: "wowwi"

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?: 15-20 mins?

58. Do you have much of an ego?: Nah, I'm timid most the time

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?: naw on it

60. Do you talk to yourself?: I talk to my stuffys more then anything

61. Do you sing to yourself?: not really

62. Are you a good singer?: NO

63. Biggest Fear?: being yelled at I think?

64. Are you a gossip?: no not really but my friends are

65. Best dramatic movie you've seen?: Forest Gump, I hate it, and it made me wana die

66. Do you like long or short hair?: shorter

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?: NOPE

68. Favorite school subject?: Art

69. Extrovert or Introvert?: big big introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?: scary nope

71. What makes you nervous?: older males, I think

72. Are you scared of the dark?: no I'm not :3

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?: nope unless it's something that would help them

74. Are you ticklish?: nah not really

75. Have you ever started a rumor?: nope:3

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?: ueah, scary babysitting always ends up with the baby in authority

77. Have you ever drank underage?: uhh yeah tbh

78. Have you ever done drugs?: nooo

79. Who was your first real crush?: don't got that

80. How many piercings do you have? I want lots non yet

81. Can you roll your Rs?": nooo :,(

82. How fast can you type?: depends

83. How fast can you run?: faster then lots of people

84. What color is your hair?: brown

85. What color is your eyes?: dark dark brown

86. What are you allergic to?" Pineapple and that Kiki stuff still like it, tho

87. Do you keep a journal?: noooo

88. What do your parents do?: my mom does office working my dad has been unemployed for the last 8 years

89. Do you like your age?: I miss being 13

90. What makes you angry?: bad parents

91. Do you like your own name?: Noooooo

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so, what are they?: Alice or Arthur or sm

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?: am I supposed to care?

94. What are you strengths?: uuhh I'm good at not crying and I can handle pain well!

95. What are your weaknesses?: saying no

96. How did you get your name?: My dad didn't like the better name

97. Were your ancestors royalty?: actually yeah

98. Do you have any scars?: didn't I answer this?

99. Color of your bedspread?: pink and white

100. Color of your room?: green and blue

[mrslectermoriarty]

Headcanon Series #12

Here goes some Stranger Things stuff because I finally watched it yes it broke me so here I give you some Eddie centered Headcanons because that guy is 100% me as a fictional character and I died with him in the Upside Down which makes him a huge inspiration :)

Yes I ship Steddie so fuck off if you don't like it

1. Eddie always humming some metal or rock songs, most times without even realising it (that's how Steve learns all the great bands)

2. When Eddie finally graduates, Hellfire throws him a party and honours him with a framed picture of him and "Hail to thee our infantry, still brave eyond the grave"

3. No but seriously, they definetly honoured him post mortem

4. There is this black stray cat in the neighbourhood who keeps scratching at his door so Eddie feeds it and adopts it eventually

5. He names it Ozzy because it once brought him a dead bat as a present and Eddie still a little uncomfortable around bats almost pees his pants because no way his cat just helped him deal a little better with that trauma

6. Ozzy becomes his mental support animal from then

7. That cat is a little sceptical about the kids at first but as soon as Dustin enters, it won't let go of him because let's be honest Dustin is so Eddie's son

8. Eddie is convinced that Ozzy can read his mind

9. Or that Ozzy is from the Upside Down which freaks him out a little but untill now Ozzy hasn't tried to slaughter him in his sleep so he gets comfortable eventually

10. Eddie and Steve move together in a cute little house

11. Corroded Coffin goes on tour one day and of course Eddie takes Steve with him but the kids (who are no longer kids but it doesn't matter) won't let both of their parents "leave them alone to rot in the town" so they all join and Steve has a little breakdown because ge will end up being a babysitter again and he's not okay with that

12. Of course he is, he loves his children

13. Ozzy can't be left behind and in the end the tour bus is stuffed with people

14. The kids are Corroded Coffin's biggest fans and love to brag about how they know all members personally

15. Eddie doesn't throw his guitar pick during concerts, he hands out dices - just for the flavor

16. He will happily sign anything for you with "The Munson Killer" if you ask him about the homicides during autograph session

17. Yes, his name was cleared by the government pretty fast after the earthquake but people are still a little uncomfortable around him - he takes it with humour

18. Since its the 90s where you can only be subtly gay, Steve and Eddie get pseudo married in Mike and El's yard in autumn after the tour ends - Argyle comes down to Hawkins to be their wedding officiant (they don't regret a single moment during the ceremony, it was hilarious) Robin ist Steve's Maid of Honour and Eddie asks Nancy because honestly, Nancy may have had eyes for Steve for a while when Jonathan was back but she saw the looks Eddie and him exchanged when they thought the other one wasn't watching and that tension so she eventually sat Eddie down and told him to ask Steve out and they kind of bonded over the years after that because in the end there is an understanding among those who love Steve Harrington

19. Steve gifts Eddie Metallica cards as their 'honeymoon' - Eddie cries for half an hour

20. He pays Steve back by slamming adoption papers on the kitchen table on their anniversary in 2006 with the words "You got me everything I could dream of back then. My turn. Bam."

22. Eddie and Steve got properly married in 2014 when same-sex marriage became legal again, surrounded by their three kids and their kids with their own children - "Why do I feel so old, Eddie?" "Because you are old. Now smile for the pictures, Grandpa!"

24. And yes, of course they had very exhausting negotiations about the number of kids they'd have

[ims0scared]

t.A.T.u (Russian: Тату) — Russian music duo formed in 1999 that consist Julia Volkova and Lena Katina. Lena Katina first music steps were taken in children's music pop band Avenue, in 1997 she joined Neposedy, later on, Julia Volkova also joined the formation (They were part of the band along with members like Sergey Lazarev and Vlad Tapalov). In 1998 Julia got kicked out of the band for bad behaviour, smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol and getting in arguments with other band members, but Neposedy denied it and said that Julia left the band because of her age (Neposedy were children formation while Julia was 12 when joined the band) Lena left the band in 1999. Same year Ivan Shapovalov and his business partner Aleksander Voitinskiy planned to start a music project in Russia. They started organizing auditions in Moscow in early 1999 for teenage female vocalist. By the end of auditioning, the partners narrowed their search down to ten girls, including Lena and Julia that finally became the members of t.A.T.u. Lena and Julia knew each other before the auditions. Both girls stood out among the others because of their appearance and vocal experience, but the producers decided to start working with Lena. Katina began recording demos, including "Yugoslavia", a protest song about NATO boming of Yugoslavia, when the demos were cut, Shapovalov insisted that the project needs another girl, that will be a complete opposite of Lena. In late 1999 Julia Volkova was added to the project to complete the duo. Shapalov after adding Volkova to the project, noticed how close the girls are, he decided to use it and gave the band lesbian image, which made Voitinsky left the band because he said that the idea was immoral and he doesn't want to be part lf it.

"Ivan said, that we need second girl in a band, and that the band needs to be famous, He just said, that we need another girl, because if we will have two it will be happier and more interesting, we can take someone new, someone different, and then they will be singing together. Now i am working in a new project, not in Ivan project, he was a horrible collaborator (...)"

- Aleksander Voitinskiy for programme "Show-Business", 2000

According to Katina, Shapovalov was inspired to create the duo after the release of the Swedish film "Show me love" about romance between two school girls. After completing the duo producers decided to name the group word Тату (Tatu) It is a shortened version of russian phrase "Та любит Ту" (Ta lyubit tu — eng. This [girl] loves that [girl]) For the whole year girls were recording songs for their first album collaborating with Elena Kiper.

Debuted in 2000 with their single "Ya soshla s uma" The song describes the pain in a girl's soul because she is in love with another girl, but is afraid. It became a big hit in Central-Eastern Europe just like their next singles — "Nas ne dogoniat" and "30 minut". Their debut album "200 po Vstrechnoy" came out in May 2001, the english version of the album "200 km/h in the Wrong Lane" came out in 2002, the album was certified platinium by IFPI for over 1 milion copies sold in Europe and become the first foreign group to reach number 1 in Japan, it was also certified gold in United States. "All the thing she said" (english version of their song "Ya soshla s uma") have made it to first place of top songs in over 20 countries, and have been sold in 6 milion copies, it became one of the most succesful singles of XXI century. The controversial music video showing Julia Volkova and Lena Katina passionately kissing in rain infront of a crowd dressed in Catholic school uniforms was supposed to show — Created by their Manager Iwan Shapovalov — "love" between singers. Later on, t.A.T.u relased 3 english albums and 3 russian albums.

t.A.T.u scene image was controversial since beggining. They are most known from their first album, which was revolving around homosexual relations between Julia and Lena. During the promotion of second album they admitted that it all was just a marketing strategy, and they are not lesbians. Even after that they didn't give up on their homosexual characters. Lena Katina spoke up about it in one of their interviews in 2009

"Julia had some lesbian experiences before t.A.T.u, and i didn't, so it was obvious i was quite embarrased, it was foreign to me, but i agreed because i knew this topic is really important. I was on a meeting with fans in Los Angeles and alot of people are still greatful for us. One girl told me that t.A.T.u is the reason why she survived. It's a horrible feeling when you're a teenager and you know that you aren't like others. All your best friends are falling for boys, and you want a girl. You feel alone, and no one understands you, and then a band shows up and tells you that everything can happend in life and you shouldn't be afraid of who you are. When people are saying, we saved them from suicide, i feel like it wasn't pointless. (....) We are also actors somehow. We created a story of two girls in love, and we played it."

Their second album was about interpersonal problems, the russian title (Ludi Invalidy) itself was already controversial around organisations fighting for rights of disabled people. In their opinion the title was suggesting thath disables people don't live, they funcionate, and their only personality traits is stupidity, brutality and greed. Lena and Julia disagreed with organisations and said that they don't understans the point of singles name and the meaning behind it.

Their last pair of albums "Vesyolye Ubylki" and "Wasted Managment" was relased between 2008 and 2009. T.A.T.u oficially broke up in 2011, but they reunited to preform at special ocassions as The opening ceremony of the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi.

(It's my first longer post in here, sometimes inbetween of weird images i want to be posting some more productive stuff about topics that i find interesting, i will be posting more about my fav bands, i wanted to make more posts today but this one took me waaaayyy too much time. If u know anything else that you would like to add to this post, or correct me on my mistakes, feel free to comment :P)

[bear-do-well]

Listening to BiB is like:

*song starts playing*

"oh this is a really good one!"

Autism, also called autism spectrum disorder[a] (ASD) or autism spectrum condition (ASC),[11] is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by symptoms of deficient reciprocal social communication and the presence of restricted, repetitive, and inflexible patterns of behavior that are impairing in multiple contexts and excessive or atypical to be developmentally and socioculturally inappropriate.[12][13] Other common signs include difficulty with social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication, along with perseverative interests, stereotypic body movements, rigid routines, and hyper- or hypo-reactivity to sensory input. Autism is clinically regarded as a spectrum disorder, meaning that it can manifest very differently in each person. For example, some are nonspeaking, while others have proficient spoken language. Because of this, there is wide variation in the support needs of people across the autism spectrum.

Psychiatry has traditionally classified autism as a mental disorder, but the autism rights movement (and an increasing number of researchers) see autistic people as part of humanity's natural neurodiversity.[14][15] From this point of view, autistic people may also be diagnosed with a disability of some sort, but that disability may be rooted in the systemic structures of a society rather than in the person;[16] thus, proponents argue that autistic people should be accommodated rather than cured.[17] The neurodiversity perspective has led to significant controversy among those who are autistic and advocates, practitioners, and charities.[18][19]

There are many theories about the causes of autism; it is highly heritable and mainly genetic, but many genes are involved, and environmental factors may also be relevant.[20] The syndrome frequently co-occurs with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, epilepsy and intellectual disability, and research indicates that autistic people have significantly higher rates of LGBTQ+ identities and feelings than the general population.[21][22][23] Disagreements persist about what should be included as part of the diagnosis, whether there are meaningful subtypes or stages of autism,[24] and the significance of autism-associated traits in the wider population.[25][26] The combination of broader criteria, increased awareness, and the potential increase of actual prevalence, has led to considerably increased estimates of autism prevalence since the 1990s.[27][28] The World Health Organization estimates about 1 in 100 children had autism between 2012 and 2021, as that was the average estimate in studies during that period, with a trend of increasing prevalence over time.[b][9][10] Boys are also significantly far more frequently diagnosed than girls.[29] The increasing prevalence has reinforced the myth perpetuated by anti-vaccine activists that autism is caused by vaccines.[30]

There is no cure for autism. Although early intervention services based on applied behavior analysis (ABA) can help children gain self-care, normative social, and language skills,[31][32][33][34] independent living is unlikely with more severe forms of the condition. Some in the autism rights movement consider ABA therapy unethical and unhelpful due to a perception that it emphasizes normalization instead of acceptance and its potential for causing harms.[35][36][37] ABA's prioritization of compliance and behavioral modification over a person's needs can lead to harmful consequences, including prompt dependency, loss of intrinsic motivation, and even psychological trauma. Curtailing self-soothing behaviors is potentially classifiable as a form of abuse.[38] Speech and occupational therapy, as well as augmentative and alternative modes of communication, are effective adjunctive therapies. Pharmacological treatments may also be useful; the atypical antipsychotics risperidone and aripiprazole are empirically validated for alleviating comorbid irritability, though they tend to be associated with sedation and weight gain.[39]