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theres-an-impulstor-among-us · 3 years ago

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Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 23 (11/06/21)

Impulse is missing from this session so Astro’s wife Ursulala “Lala” filled in for him. i normally watch Impulse’s POV but for this stream, i watched Tango’s.

…

Endless: Alright guys, so I watched Evil kill Brody and then I started chasing Evil trying to report the body but that’s not how this game works. Evil, laughing: I can’t- I can’t even deny it!

...

*Astro has been caught killing with 4 people left* Lala: I don’t know who to vote for…! Etho: So… we’re gonna need you to turn on someone you care about right now. Lala: Oh, I don’t like that!

...

*silence as Tango does a task* Tango: This feels like a round where I’m gonna die early. Etho: *kills Tango*

...

Lala: The only person I saw at all in that direction was Joker so I’m voting for him, I don’t even care. Skizz: Alright! I like it! *votes* Etho: Whoa… Joker: What? Skizz: Wait… I dunno. I may have jumped the gun, there. I still got 3rd Life bloodlust on the brain.

...

Etho: Joker? Joker: What? Etho: Where were you? Joker: I dunno. Skizz: Joker, you are USELESS!

...

Etho: *reports a body* Etho: Well, well, well! Tango: Ooh…! Endless: Ooh…! *pause* Etho: ...I got nothing.

...

*Etho and Skizz are lovers, Etho is imposter with Tango, there are 4 people left alive* Etho: *calls emergency meeting* Etho: Okay, I think it’s pretty clear. It’s Tango. Joker: Yeah, he was the last person I heard [when Mrs Tango died]. Etho: Voting Tango. *votes* Skizz: *votes* Tango: No. Joker, listen. Joker, Joker- Joker: *votes* Tango: JOKER, you just blew it! *groans* Etho: *laughs* Tango: Joker, I’m gonna tell you the truth right now, cuz it’s all out there, okay? You just blew it, my friend. Etho: I got a pact with someone, Tango, I’m sorry. Tango: Etho and Skizz are lovers, alright? You just blew it. Skizz: We’re more than lovers, dude! Red Army forever!!! Tango: WRONG GAME, man! Wrong game, Red Army! Etho: You were- You were a Crastle people traitor. Skizz: *laughs hysterically* Tango: I shoulda killed Skizz when I had the chance, I woulda taken you both out, I would’ve won! I knew it was coming, Etho! It was just a matter of time! Etho and Skizz: *laugh* Skizz: 3rd Life lives on! Tango: I’m voting Joker cuz he smells. *votes are revealed, Tango is ejected* Skizz: Ah, Etho, you’re the best! Etho: That was beautiful. Tango: I waited too long, that was my fault. Joker: That was a no-win situation for me. Etho: You had no chance there, Joker. Joker: Yeah, I had no chance. Skizz: That was SO poetic!

...

Astro: Why is everybody killing Lala early? It’s very rude. Tango: Says Astro the killer. Astro: If I ever get a round of imposter, I’m gonna avenge every one of these deaths.

...

Tango: Joker and I were sharing sweet nothings over in nav and then in shields. Mrs Tango: Uhh… Tango: Oh yeah, you BET you wanna know ;)

...

Tango: Brody’s got me fooled. Brody: That’s not hard to do.

...

*after a stack kill* Evil: I saw Brody teleport to the body. Brody: I sure didn’t do that. Tango: Evil, are you voting for Brody? Evil: I did. Tango: Alright, I’ll do it. *votes* I’m afraid we’re gonna get jestered, but… Skizz: He voted for himself at the beginning, why would- *votes are revealed, Skizz is the only one who didn’t vote for Brody* Brody, being ejected: I’m so confused. Tango: Did he just win? Brody: I’m SO confused. Why did you guys just give me that? Evil: *bursts out laughing* Tango: Oh god… Skizz: Is this for real? Brody: Evil, why would you just give me that? You knew it was me. Tango: Evil! *Brody wins as jester* Etho: Why?! I don’t get that! Endless: What? Why would-? What?! Evil: *still laughing hysterically* Skizz: You guys are morons. Tango: EVIIIL! What’s wrong with you?! Why would you lie?! Evil, still laughing: I didn’t believe he was the jester! Skizz: HE VOTED FOR HIMSELF TWICE!

...

Tango: Rule number one: if you don’t understand a button, press it immediately.

...

Tango, running into electrical to find only Lala there: Oh hi, Lala! *silence* Tango: Lala, how you doing tonight? We haven’t had a chance to talk. *silence* Tango: Good chat, let’s do this again sometime. *silence* Tango: Thanks, Lala. That- Great stuff…

...

*imposter Mrs Tango accidentally killed her partner’s lover and got ejected for it* Mrs Tango: Dangit, Astro! Astro, laughing: Hey, Mrs Tango? D’you r- remember when I had a lover that round?

...

*after Skizz sheriffed Tango 10 seconds into the round* Tango: Let’s find Skizz and close all his doors. *ghost Tango floats over to electrical and finds Skizz’s ghost hovering next to his body* Tango: OH SKIZZ WHAT’S THE MATTER YOU’RE DEAD IN THE FACE YOU JERK BUTT! Skizz: *bursts out laughing* Tango: YOU ARE SUCH A MONKEY- *cuts himself off* MMMNNAAAA, alright?! You know that?! I did NOTHING- I did NOTHING to tip you off except mock colours! Skizz: Yes you did, dude! Tango: And you come over like *mocking Skizz* “mleh I’ve known you long enough”, you took a shot in the dark, you monke-! *again cuts himself off* Skizz: It was not a shot in the dark! Tango: Yes it was! Skizz: No it wasn’t! Tango: TOTAL shot in the dark! Skizz: NO IT WASN’T! Tango: You’re a flaming buttnugget! Skizz: *laughs again* Tango: I’m so glad you’re dead.

...

(the same round) Tango: I just wanna let you know right now: you’re dead to me. Skizz: *laughs* Tango: We used to be friends. I am setting your volume to zero. Goodbye, Skizz! Nice knowing you! Skizz, still laughing: You better not!

...

Tango, dead: Vote Skizzleman! Skizz, also dead, laughing: “Vote Skizz”. Tango: Vote Skizz. Resurrect his corpse and then throw him out into space.

...

Tango: How are the bubbles? Am I gonna experience this joy later or what? Mrs Tango: You can only hope. Tango: Ohoho! Can’t wait! Skiddley-doo!

...

Skizz: *calls a meeting* Skizz: I finally got to get there, and here’s what I’m gonna do. I will give the killer- I have risen from the dead. And I will give the killer a chance to step forward and admit to your sins and be forgiven. Brody: Did Astro save you? Cuz that sounds like something he would do. Skizz: Astro saved me, that’s correct. Lala: Awww, he’s so cute! Mrs Tango: Yay altruist!

...

*Etho is unanimously voted out* Brody, deadpan: It’s anonymous though, you don’t know who voted for you.

...

Endless: Why did you vote for me? I was literally on the other side of the ship when that happened. Brody: Because you killed me.

...

Skizz: Hey, Etho. Hey, buddy. You had an opportunity to confess your sins and you just weren’t having it. Etho: You know, I wasn’t really paying attention and then I realised “oh, this is actually coming back to bite me”.

...

*Tango reporting a swooper kill* Lala: Or Tango just killed Brody- Tango: No no no, listen. I’m the engineer, so- Lala: Uh huh- Tango: No no, I’m telling you right now, I’ll vent in front of your dumb face, let’s go. Astro: Hey now! Etho: This is getting spicy :D Lala: I don’t think I like you calling me dumb, Tango. Tango: Alright, I’ll just vent in front of your face. Etho: He didn’t call you dumb, he called your face dumb. There’s a big difference. Astro: I’m not sure that makes it better.

...

*in the lobby* Endless: Tango, here’s what happened. I was talking to Mrs Tango and I said “have you still not finished the swipe [card task]?” and then she said “I just did” and then I realised we didn’t HAVE the swipe [card task], so that’s why I was saying she was faking it. Tango: You know what would’ve been good? Endless: If I had said that- Tango, at the same time: If you had said that in the meeting. That would’ve been good.

...

Tango, as the game is starting: Everybody vote Etho off, he’s the imposter. Etho: Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Tango: Etho sus!

...

Lala: I gasped cuz I saw the purple body and I thought I died. Brody and Evil: *laugh* Brody: Those are two different shades of purp- How much juice have you had? Astro: Just a bottle. Lala: I don’t like your tone, sir.

#friday night stabby quotes #friday night stabby #tangotek #skizzleman #etho #misterjoker #evilnotion #theendless #brodyman #mrstango #astrozoan #ursulala

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themonkeycabal · 4 years ago

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The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Episode 1 SPOILERS

If you need to blacklist, I will be tagging all things as #tfatws and/or #tfatws spoilers

My roommate keeps calling this The Falcon and the Snowman. I'm not entirely sure it's accidental.

I was going to watch at midnight and then fell asleep. Betrayal. I will not forgive this, brain.

Bucky Barnes character development. Sam Wilson character development. Six full episodes of Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson. When we watched Civil War, did we think we'd actually be lucky enough to get a buddy idiot cop movie? Let alone six hours of it? #blessed

What are we expecting here? I have no idea, honestly. I think all the clips we've been seeing are from the first couple episodes, so they've hidden any sort of plot from us. We know Baron Zemo's around with his stupid purple ski mask and burning hatred for superheroes and probably specifically for Bucky who he tried (and honestly kind of succeeded, before then ultimately failing dramatically) to set up. And Sharon Carter will turn up at some point. OMG guys, Sharon Carter character development!

I'm just here for the buddy bickering and badassery.

SPOILERS BELOW

New World Order: Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes realize that their futures are anything but normal. *Realize*? lol

Also, it's tagged as "science fiction, action-adventure, buddy" Awww.

Aww, Sam looks sad as he gazes at The Shield.

"How's it feel?" "Like it's someone else's." "It isn't."

That's right, Sam! Listen to that voice. That's yours now, baby.

We're just going to roll right into a mission. Rescuing a Captain Vassant, whose plane fell out of contact shortly after take off, from the ridiculously named group LAF, somewhere over Tunisia. Sam's got to keep LAF from doing bad things and the US Military can't be seen doing anything blah blah blah, violation of treaties, yada yada. And Sam's all "blah blah got it". We're on the same page, Sam and me. Nobody wants to hear it, Briefing Exposition Guy.

We will have a Lt. Torres on the ground following along and offering helpful commentary as they go.

Sam is warned to be subtle as he falls backwards out of the cargo plane in very dramatic fashion and then swoops off on his brightly colored wings. lol

Sam gets to the captain's plane but the pilot is dead and a shady LAF guy is piloting. Oh no. Hey, it's Batroc. Last seen getting his ass kicked by Captain America in "CA: The Winter Soldier". He makes some jokes about their prisoner - presumably Captain Vassant. Awful cocky for a guy with a history of getting stomped on, you know.

Anyway, he's about to get his ass kicked by a Captain America again as Sam breaks into the plane. You might just be using wing shields now, Sam, but you're Captain America in my heart. Also, hey, dumb bad guys, don't open fire with an automatic weapon inside a plane or the ricochets might kill your pilot. And his body will slump forward and put the plane into a steep dive.

Batroc distracts Sam while the bad guys gather up Vassant and jump out of the plane with him. They have wingsuits, but Sam has, you know, wings. And like a jet pack. Don't hit the canyon walls, Sam!

Somehow the bad guys have waiting gunships. Did they expect to jump out of the plane over this canyon? I can only assume. Red Wing takes care of one of the helicopters. Man these guys are a pain in the ass. They wing suit into one of the many many helicopters that just happen to be right in the right spot. They're racing for the Libyan border. Then Sam shows up, they throw Vassant out the copter again — this guy is having the worst day — and glide into another chopper.

Man ANOTHER gunship? The hell? They're causing serious ecological damage to this canyon, what with all the zillionty missiles they're firing at Sam. How strapped is this thing?

LT Torres is trying to keep up, and you know, trying to get Sam to not fly into Libyan territory and cause an international incident or some such. Sam is struck by inspiration and not by a missile. But, the missiles are following Sam and Sam is following Batroc's chopper. Sam zooms through the open doors of the chopper, knocks poor Vassant out of the chopper AGAIN (but then catches him), and LAF blows up their own helicopter. Alas, Batroc escaped.

Sam saves the day and LT Torres is like super excited. Don't break your humvee, Torres.

Torres and Sam stop by a tea shop in Tunis, or somewhere. Sam's trying to fix his tech that got a little shot up and Torres buys the tea. A man comes up and thanks Sam for saving his wife. It's sweet. And then Torres gets up and wanders about a bit with his phone as he exposits about LAF. Is Torres about to become a pin cushion? Only instead of pins it'll be bullets? I'm not feeling good about his continued health. He's too cute and earnest.

Oh, he's looking for some sort of hidden, augmented reality tag on the walls. A red handprint, id'ing some group that calls themselves the Flag Smashers. Bad guys are really scraping the bottom of the evil name barrel. Anyway, they think the world was better during the blip. Nothing says better like mass failure of infrastructure and probably world wide famine. They want a unified world without borders. I have big doubts the world would be a borderless utopia during a blip-like event. Power vacuums invite trouble, seldom unity.

Anyhoo. Sam kind of agrees with me, "every time something gets better for one group, it gets worse for another".

Torres will track the 'online chatter'. But he's also heard some wacky things about Steve Rogers, conspiracy theory stuff, "they think that he's in a secret base on the moon, looking down over us". LOL. What? Is Steve a moon angel now? or Santa Claus? "You didn't like fly him to the moon?" Sam assures him that's all very much silly foolishness. Steve's in Boca working on his tan.

Sam's back in D.C. giving a talk about Steve at the Smithsonian's National Air & Space museum. "And he mastered posing stoically". Hey, I have that picture. Also, RHODEY! Hi Rhodey!

"A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after 5 years away. Sending the world into turmoil." Again. I know this was meant to come out before WandaVision, but timeline-wise this works better.

"We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we're in. Symbols are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning." Sam holds up The Shield. "I don't know if there's been a greater symbol." Aww, he's retiring the shield. He hands it off to museum people and they put it in a display case. I think Rhodey has some thoughts about this. I suspect Rhodey maybe doesn't agree.

Sam and Rhodey wander through the Cap exhibit and Sam's talking about how when he left (or got snapped, it's not like you had a choice about that, Sam), his nephews were babies and now they're little men. Awww. Rhodey says Sam should bring them to D.C., he'll teach them how to fly, "the right way". lol.

Rhodey says it's crazy to think nobody will be carrying the shield. Sam points out they went 70 years without, so like …

Rhodey wants to know why Sam didn't take up the mantle. BTW, this is a cool exhibit, marvel peeps. Sam says it feels like it belongs to someone else … Steve. Rhodey says everything's broken. Allies are enemies, things are torn apart. People are looking for somebody to make it better. Having made his pitch, Rhodey leaves Sam to stare mournfully at the shield. I think you're afraid to pick up the shield, Sam. Afraid you won't measure up. But, you can do it. I have faith. Also, Steve was kind of a disaster in his own way. He wasn't perfect, which was the point of Steve as a hero. Pick up the shield, Sam.

A fancy hotel, chatting people in the lobby, up to a mezzanine, a group of very Russian oligarch looking dudes and their security. And lo! A metal arm punches through a wall and the Winter Soldier, looking very Winter Soldiery appears and stabs some dudes in the neck. This has a sepia, dream/nightmareness to it. Oh yeah, it's his old shiny silver arm. Totally a nightmare/very bad memory. "Hail Hydra" and he kills the head Russian guy. The poor dude who was just chatting in the lobby is caught trying to get into his door. He swears he didn't see anything, begs for his life and the Winter Soldier shoots him. Bucky wakes up, breathing heavily. Poor Bucky.

Glad he's in therapy. I'm sure goat herding in Wakanda was good and peaceful and all, but, goats will only get you so far. Also glad we've skipped the "wanted terrorist" part and gone on to traumatized hero.

I get the feeling he's not the best patient. He lies to his therapist straight off. Twice. lol. "You're a civilian now. With your history the government needs to know, you're not gonna … [therapist makes stabby motion]." lol (I love this actress by the way. She's been in everything for ages. She's great). "It's a condition of your pardon. So tell me about your most recent nightmare." "I didn't have a nightmare." She starts writing, Bucky objects and tells her she's being passive-aggressive, but he gives in.

He has a list of amends to make and three rules to follow. He crossed a name off. There's a Hydra pawn who's a senator, he helped her get into office. "After Hydra disbanded, she continued to use the power I gave her." Hmm. He tracks her car and listens in on her plotting to have a congressman killed.

* Rule number one: Can't do anything illegal.

He's hijacked the Senator's car and is remote controlling it, making it drive all out of control and freaking her out. He says he was collecting intel to give to an aide to convict her. Absolutely only did that. Not one illegal thing about that at all, no ma'am.

"Rule number two?" "Hmm. What was rule number two?" "Nobody gets hurt. It's a big one." "Then why isn't it rule number one?" Oh, Bucky, you're a jackass.

* Rule number two: Nobody gets hurt.

"I didn't hurt anybody. Promise." He totally broke a dude's hand and then punched him in the face, knocking him out. I mean, there's levels of 'hurt' I suppose.

"The whole point of making amends is to fulfill rule number three." "Of course I completed rule number three."

* Rule number three: "I am no longer the Winter Soldier. I am James 'Bucky' Barnes. And you're part of my efforts to make amends." He says to the corrupt senator he's just been terrifying. And then he walks away as a tac team pulls up. lol.

What I'm getting from this therapy session is that Bucky is a big fat fibber.

Also he's got a little black book full of names. Including, I see, H. Zemo. That's not going to go as smoothly as taking down a shady government fatcat, I think.

"So you did it all right, but it didn't help with the nightmares?" "Well, like I said, I didn't have any." Fibber.

People wanna help you Bucky and you can trust them. "I trust people," he mutters grumpily. She asks for his phone and he hands it over. Look, lady! Trust! Probably government mandated trust, but still!

"You don't have ten phone numbers on this thing." … I don't have ten phone numbers on my phone. :( "Oh, and you've been ignoring texts from Sam." Well …

"I am the only person you have called all week. That is so sad." lol. Tough love from the therapist. I'm feeling a little judged myself, though. "You're alone." ALRIGHT DON'T RUB IT IN!

"You're a hundred years old. You have no history. No family—" "Are you lashing out at me, doc? Because that's really unprofessional." I love you Bucky, but you are a disaster patient.

Bucky relents. "I'm trying. This is new for me. I didn't have a moment to deal with anything. I had a little calm in Wakanda. And other than that, I just went from one fight to another for 90 years." Get this man a goat farm!

"So now that you've stopped fighting, what do you want?" "Peace." A goat farm. "That is utter bullshit." lol "You're a terrible shrink." "I was an excellent soldier, so I saw a lot of dead bodies and I know how that can shut you down. And if you are alone, that is the quietest, most personal hell." Get some friends, Bucky. "I know you've been through a lot. But, you've got your mind back. You're being pardoned. These are good things. You're free." "To do what?"

On the streets of Brooklyn. Bucky breaks up an argument between neighbors about trashcans. Hey, Bucky has a friend! Yori Nakajima who's probably like 80+. Did you babysit him back in the day, Buck? har har. They were going to meet for lunch, but some punk named Unique was putting his trash into Mr. Nakajima's trash can and just derailed the whole day. The horror. No joke, though, people get so nutted up about that. It's weird to me. Of course, I did also have a neighbor who never put out his trash for pickup and just snuck out at night before trash day and distributed his garbage into in other people's bins. Cheapass.

"Hey man, I'm Unique. Like Monique but it's got a 'u' in there for uniqueness." Yeah, you should have let Yori smack him, Buck.

Well now Yori is just not in the mood for lunch. Bucky tries to persuade him, but one grumpy old man out grumps the other. "But Izzy. We always go to Izzy on Wednesday. What if I buy?" "Fine. But no talking." lol. BFFs!

Yori is looking at the obituaries. "Look, nobody made it past 90 this week." Bucky tsks "So young, such a shame."

Bucky kind of smiles at the girl behind the counter at the sushi joint, Yori tells him he should ask her out. Bucky makes a "are you nuts, shut up" face. That doesn't stop Yori. "He would like to take you out on a date. Maybe to bingo or a night of pinochle." You're a wild man, Yori!

She's down by it, though, and she and Yori hammer out the details while Bucky's like uh, okay, so wow, that's happening. "There's a dance to these things. You can't … you gotta warm up and I haven't danced since 1943."

Yori sees something and suddenly gets sad. His son loves red bean mochi. His son was a consultant, working abroad and he was killed. Oh. Oh Bucky, why you gotta … Yori's son was the innocent witness he killed at the hotel in his nightmare/memory. "I will never know what really happened to him." Brutal.

Delacroix, Louisana

Sam's on his way home. Wilson Family Seafood. Aww. His nephews are helping mom with the catch. "Blue for the snapper, orange for the white fish," Sam calls out. The boys run over to him. They do look like fine gentlemen. It's weird, Sam, I get it. I recently realized my oldest nephew will be 13 in May and it's like "no, he's only in kindergarten, what are you talking about?"

His sister greets him then tells him he's looking all sneaky. Sam deflects. Their boat has seen better days. The Paul & Darlene. Aww. Is that his parents names? "Baby being held together by duct tape and prayers." Just needs to float long enough for his sister to sell it. But Sam's all, uh I thought we were going to *discuss* that. Uh oh, family drama. "We did, and then you were off fighting Dr Space Cape or whatever (lol), while I was holding it together for five long years." Ouch.

Sam is not down by this selling the boat thing. His sister doesn't seem to think they're in a position to hold on to it. Also, she'd really like to not hash this out on the pier with like twenty other people around, Sam.

They get into more of an argument on the boat. The family biz is not doing well financially. Sarah won't let Sam help for some reason, and he makes some comment about the house and loans and she punches him in the chest. lol "I forgot how hard you hit."

Sam insists they can turn it around, consolidate loans. And she's all, been there done that, I've come to terms with this. He's a persistent little jerk. This is such a perfectly sibling argument. Notably he has moved himself out of punching range.

Aww, she wants to believe he can save the boat, but she has DOUBTS.

Back in Brooklyn. Bucky attempts his date. He turns up at the end of the sushi girl's shift and gives her flowers. "Well, if that's not the most adorably old-fashioned thing anyone's ever done."

They chat while she tidies. He tried online dating oh lol. It didn't take. She tells him "You sound like my dad. Wait how old are you?" "Hundred and six." Oh yeah, what a funny joke. Next she wants to know why he's wearing gloves. "I have … um … poor circulation." He grimaces at himself and glances out the window. Smooth as silk, Bucky. Smoooooth.

"Let's play a game." Now, I'm thinking like some weird dating word/get-to-know-each-other game or something. I don't know. But, nope, she means Battleship. lol. I like her.

The drinking game version of battleship. Bucky sucks at it. "You sure can drink." "Yeah, well." Super assassin, unfair advantage.

We're just going to rub in this whole The Winter Soldier killed Yori's son thing, as she says it's nice that he's spending time with the old man. Since he was all messed up after his son was murdered and how it was extra hard because he didn't know what happened. I'm not sure this is healthy, Bucky.

"There's no word for someone whose kids die." Okay, ouch, lady, jeez. Bucky looks like he wants to puke. Or crawl into a deep dark hole. Or something. "Because it's the worst thing that can happen." Bucky nopes right out the front door. So, maybe they should have played pinochle instead.

Bucky goes to Yori. Are you really going to tell this man you murdered his son when you were a brain-washed Hydra assassin? Yori asks how the date was, and Bucky sees a shrine to the man's son in the apartment. Poor Bucky. He makes some excuse about owing Yori for lunch and leaves. Yori's name is in his book of amends. :(

Back in Louisiana. Sam and the kids are packing up meals. His sister maybe wants to sell meals in addition to fish. Sam says they've got to get going to their appointment at the bank. She's says it's in an hour. Sam must be just the worst brother to live with "There's no such thing as on time. You're either early or late. Pick one." Man, no wonder he gets punched.

Switzerland

Lt Torres is walking down a street with an unusually large number of people just sort of milling around in the middle of the street looking at their phones. He's got his kind of hidden, recording. He stops a guy and asks if he knows what they're supposed to be doing. Oh it's the flag munchers, or whatever. There's a weird phony bird whistle and then people gather around a person handing out masks with red handprints on them. His decoy bad guy phone chirps and gives the order to run. A guy jumps out of a nearby building with two huge duffle bags (of money it seems) and walks off while the previously milling people become a seemingly panicked mob, distracting police and whatnot.

Torres tries to arrest the jumper guy, who appears to have some super strength as he kicks a policeman halfway across the street. Torres, you're cute, but not super bright. Torres gets body slammed and then stomped. He survives again, however, defying the odds.

At the bank. The account manager keeps giving Sam the side-eye as he goes through their paperwork. "Do I know you from somewhere." Sam's all modest, "I don't know. Do you?" And then he makes a little wing flappy move with his hands. lol. What a nerd. "Falcon!" Then he takes a selfie with Sam. Sarah is very done with all this. She tries to get them back on track. Account guy wants to know how Avengers make a living. Probably not looking good for your loan, Sam.

"Is there some kind of fund for heroes? Or did Stark pay you when he was around? My condolences, by the way."

Yeah, financially this is looking bad, my dude. "You have no income over the last five years." Well, but, he was blipped. I mean …

Alas, shot down for the loan.

Sam and Sarah argue on the street. Ah, Sam ran off to the Air Force and didn't deal with what was going on at home. Oh my, this is getting ugly. Speaking as someone who got disowned on account of a family business, let me just say, they're not easy. Nuh-uh.

"Half the boat's mine and so is the house. We're not selling our family's legacy." "You gonna do me like what when you know I'm right?"

I get it might be awkward to ask, but I bet you could have asked Pepper for a loan, Sam, and she would have given it to you gladly. Come on, man.

Later. Sam's working on the boat's engine, and it's not cooperating. In the cabin he looks at the family pictures on all the walls. He's having a rough day. About as rough as Torres who texts him to find a secure line and call him along with a selfie of his bruised and battered face. #important (lol, really?)

Sam watches the footage Torres caught and they chat about how Torres was supposed to be doing that stuff online and not getting his face kicked in in Switzerland.

Sarah interrupts and turns on the TV. Some guy is giving a speech about how everybody needs a hero. "We need someone who can inspire us again. Someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So on behalf of the Department of Defense and our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero." hmm, no comment. Except, you should have taken up the shield, Sam. Now it's Sam's turn to look like he's going to puke. What did I say about power vacuums? Somebody will fill them, whether you want them to or not.

This new guy looks like a goober. There, I said it.

credits

So … lots of setup. And very clear on the two guys trying to figure out where they fit in this world post blip and big wars. Both of them trying to fix broken families.

Plus a goober in a Cap suit.

So far so good.

#tfatws #tfatws spoilers #the falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier spoilers

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momowho34 · 4 years ago

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Ever wondered whats actually in the Old Testament? Well that’s the only testament my religion has! Heres a summary of the Tanakh (old testament) from a jewish lens. I’ve read a lot of these books because I have nothing better to do so I mostly know what I’m talking about. Come on down to Judiasm, we have

The Big Five

The Book of Bereshit (Genesis): the world gets made then flooded and uh oh family drama fuck don’t get more then one wife these people need family therapy oh god oh no

The Book of Sh’mot (Exodus): pssst hey kid, want some freedom??? Wanna fucking starve and die in the desert??? Hey kid, wanna be free to suffer and die???? Or stay where you are as a slave and die a little more every day???? Also leprosy bad don’t do it be nice and have more babies lots of babies the population is at like 17 people right now-

The Book of Vayikrah (Leviticus) we’re going to the promised land I swear, part 1, also learning how to have your own agency as a human being and how to live as a good person now that you’re free. Also hygiene. Remember to bathe you fucks. Basically, the people ask god for laws, and oh boy, does he deliver.

The Book of Bamidbar (Numbers): we’re going to the promised land I swear, part 2, with more rules this time! Soooo many rules. Like too many. Like so many, mostly of the “don’t steal Sherman’s cow even if you really really want it because god keeps a tally of that shit and it’s really not good for your long term health”

The Book of Shevarim (Deuteronomy): more rules, repeat of everything god said, it’s a little doom and gloom, but hey, we finally made it to the fucking promised land! It should be a peice of cake from here on out!

The Interesting But Far Less Impactful Ones

The Book of Yoshua (Joshua): well... we finally made it. Things have gone... alright.... so far, I bet things are gonna be just fine.

The Book of Shoftim (Judges): things get legendarily worse. There are dismembered limbs everywhere. Ain’t pretty. Israel change leaders like a girl changes clothes, and these leaders are (including but not limited to): stabby-stabby left handed guy, a Woman [gasp], whatever the fuck Gideon was supposed to be, basically a pirate whose mom is a prostitute, and mr. strong man don’t cut his hair. Seriously.

The Book of Shmuel 1 and 2 (Samuel I-II): look just... shit goes down. Saul is a shit king so the random ass peasant child David becomes the king of Israel and is a hilarious disaster of a man. A lot of civil wars. A lot of David being a dramatic bitch. These are my favorite books I kind of cried in the beginning when Jonathan died. Hijinks ensue. Things go... okay for a while.

The Book of Malachim 1 and 2 (Kings I and II): Oho boy. David’s son Solomon becomes king, he builds the temple, he’s a fine king until he’s not, Judah splits off from the other tribes and becomes their own kingdom, Elijah gets really tired of babysitting all of these kings all the time, it’s a nebulous time period.

The Books of Isaiah, Jeremiah, Hosea, Ezekiel, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habbakuk, Zephaniah, Zachariah and Malachi: okay, this is... a lot. Most of these books are various essays made by prophets trying to convince people to stop doing whatever sin was prevalent at their time. A lot of it’s boring and not really relevant anymore. Except for Habbakuk, Habbakuk tries to have a fist fight with god, god answers his questions, he leaves satisfied. I think the temple gets ganked at some point and the Israelites get massacred so hard only Judah’s tribe, Benjamin’s tribe, and bits of Levi survive and everyone else faces exile. Anyway that’s booooring let’s move on

End of the Story (Last Section Part 1)

[imma start with some of the later books because they’re relevant to the earlier books and closure is important]

The Book of Daniel: Local Man is almost killed in every way you can think of but god protects him and he pursues his dream... of becoming a Persian bureaucrat. Not kidding.

The Book of Ezra: they return to the land! They rebuild the temple!! The Jews are sort of kind of a thing again!!!

The Book of Nehemiah: except Jerusalem is a wasteland and a perfect target for bandits so Nehemiah has the genius idea of building a wall around the city so awesome and cool that no one will ever mess with them again. Nehemiah is really good because it’s about healing and connection and redemption and all that good shit. Broken people trying to put their lives back together by connecting to their past. Makes me fucking cry damn it-

Miscellaneous (Last Section Part 2)

Lamentations: Jerusalem is fucked. It’s bad. Everything is bad. Again. Oh well. Better luck next time.

Esther: the Jewish queen of Persia manages to outsmart an evil guy who wants to kill her people yayyyyy

Ecclesiastes: its just a philosophy book with a disembodied narrator who was probably Solomon.

Psalms: David is extra and he wants you to know it so he wrote 150 verses of praise to god cause he felt like it

Proverbs: Solomon wants everyone to be good people, the usual.

Song of Songs: okay listen, this is basically a love poem supposedly written by Solomon, and it is like... really horny and genuinely kinda sweet at times. Weird book, don’t know why it’s here

Ruth: a converted immigrant widow follows her mother in law into Israel and marries a pretty cool guy named Boaz. That’s it.

#judaism #bible #I guess this might apply to christianity??#some of it anyway #torah #old testament #bible tw #idk man I just wanna know if people know this perspective #Christianity ordered the books different #so it’s like a completely different story #psalms #Ruth #king david #god and stuff

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angst-fairygodmother · 4 years ago

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Light Fingers (The Umbrella Academy)

Diego’s vigilantism brings him repeatedly across the path of a young cat burglar. But as he finds himself developing feelings for the thief, he begins to wonder if there’s more to her than meets the eye, and whether they’re really on opposite sides. And as their relationship deepens, it brings with it a plot involving his estranged adopted father, and threatens to destroy all of them.

CHAPTER 2: WE KEEP MEETING

Word Count: 1484 Pairing: Diego Hargreeves x Reader Rating: T Cross-posted to AO3: here

Previous Chapter: Cat and Mouse || Masterlist

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You were wiping down tables during a slow period, several days later, still thinking about the museum kiss, when the bell above the door jingled and your breath caught in your throat. Walking in, looking casual as could be despite still basically being dressed in the same outfit he wore in all of your late night encounters including the harness of knives, was the vigilante. As he sat at the counter, you glanced around and realized with a nervous pang, that you were the only one on shift.

“Hi, welcome to the Ace,” you said, plastering on a smile and a slightly higher than normal voice, hoping he wouldn’t recognize you. You handed him a laminated paper menu and moved away quickly to get him silverware and a placemat.

“Do I know you?” he asked when you returned a few minutes later to take his order.

“I don’t think we’ve met. I doubt I’d forget a face like yours.” You smiled even as you mentally scolded yourself for flirting. That was the exact opposite of a good way to get him to stop paying attention.

Still, you found yourself gravitating back to him, chatting and keeping him company throughout his meal, laughing at his jokes. For his part, he seemed to welcome the attention, laying on the charm and flirtation thick.

When you brought him his check, his fingers brushed against yours, lingering longer than necessary but not so long as to be uncomfortable, and you felt the heat of a blush creep across your cheeks.

“I’m Diego, by the way,” he said with that damnable charming smirk.

“Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“Oh I’m sure,” you smiled mysteriously.

He raised an eyebrow but you said nothing more, waving your fingers at him as he walked out.

Three nights later, you were working on your latest score, but you mind kept playing through your interactions with Diego Hargreeves. His little visit to the diner had finally chased the kiss away from the forefront of your mind. But not the rest of him. Not the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, or his tongue pinched between his teeth in his rare, genuine smile, not unlike the ‘blep’ of a cat. And if anything it had only made the racing of your heart and the singing in your veins worse at how easy you had fallen into conversation, about anything and everything, how comfortable you felt around him.

You jammed the long metal shim into the window, anger overtaking you and interfering with the usual delicacy that you used when approaching a lock, practically brute-forcing it open instead.

‘Get it together, Y/N,’ you scolded yourself as the lock popped and you eased the pane open. ‘You don’t have time to be distracted by some pretty man-child playing superhero.’

You swung yourself inside, shifting your weight carefully so that you boots barely made a sound as you dropped to the polished tile floor.

An office complex wasn’t your usual target, not soft enough, not enough that was easily fungible, but tonight you were making an exception. The CEO of this particular company had built himself a name on the backs of people far smarter than him including his wife, whom he left for a much younger woman as soon as he’d made his fortune and in the divorce had managed to manipulate the courts in his favor and leave her with nothing, not even the patents and plans to her own creations. She had come to you, hearing about you through a friend of a friend, and begged you to help her get something, anything back. When you heard the story, you decided that such misbehavior could not stand, and had agreed not only to get her back what was rightfully hers, but to take him down. And your quest to do so started right here, in a tragically unsecured file room.

You were flipping through a stack of designs, looking for any of the project numbers she had given you (written along the inside of your gloved wrist so you wouldn’t forget them), when you were startled by a knocking sound. Panicked, you plunged the room into darkness, save for what trickled in the window from the streetlights.

You mind raced. There shouldn’t have been anyone else in the building and you weren’t going after prototypes or payrolls or other things that would be expected to be stolen and therefore be under watch. The only thing that you could think was that it was a trap, and you had fallen for it.

Hoping that whoever it was hadn’t seen you, you pressed yourself into the space between the filing cabinets.

“Relax,” Diego drawled and you felt your shoulders sag with, as much as you didn’t want to admit it, relief at the sound of his familiar voice. “I thought it might be you.”

“Is that why you didn’t bother with the knife this time? I finally rate a warning before you try to stab me?”

“If I’d wanted to stab you any of those times, I would have. I don’t miss.”

“Yes, I remember the claims. I read all the magazine articles growing up.” You smirked, stepping back out of the alcove to face him, arms folded across your chest and one hand resting on your chin cheekily. “You used to be quite the heartthrob.”

He shrugged.

“I know no one saw me come into the building, so how did you even know I was here?”

“Silent alarm. Tripped when the window opened. Guess your partner missed one.”

“What partner?” you frowned. You worked alone, and if someone was out there giving the impression otherwise, you needed to nip it in the bud, for your professional mystique if nothing else.

“No one’s ever caught you on a security camera. Not even the museum, which has a state of the art system,” he stated accusingly. “You must have a partner tampering with the tapes.”

“Next you’ll be telling me that it’s hard to beat a laser grid.”

“It is. It should be. For any normal person.”

“Nonsense, my stabby friend,” you shrugged nonchalantly, inspecting your nails while you talked. “It’s all just smoke and mirrors. But hey, if there was an alarm, your cop friends will be come sooner than usual. So, catch me later?”

“What?”

He hadn’t even finished the word before turned and darted back across the room and through the window with a laugh like the jingling of coins, dropping away into the darkness like as ghost. He followed, close enough behind that for the moment before you hit the ground, you could see the light cast artful shadows over his face, sharpening his handsome angles and making your heart skip a beat.

After a moment’s hesitation, Diego climbed over the window sill. He wasn’t going to let you get away again, not without answers. Luckily, you had left behind the rope you’d used to scale the side of the building, the navy blue nylon swaying slightly still from your rapid repel back to the street. He twisted it into his fists, slowly easing himself down, pausing at window ledges to keep his balance, hating how much lead he was giving you. Still, he reasoned, once he was on his feet again, he was agile and could make up the ground.

It was nearing dawn when Diego finally gave up hope of tracking you down, slamming his fist into the wall of the alley he stood in with a growl of frustration.

‘If you’d just look up, foolish boy,’ you thought, watching him from the fire escape above him, just outside your own kitchen window. ‘You were so close.’

Watching him walk away, you marveled at yourself and the fact that you almost wanted him to catch you. Maybe, if you took the time to explain why you were doing this, why you had been for the better part of your life, he’d understand. After all, he wasn’t exactly making a legal living, and he been as cursed as you. He had grown up, maybe even more than you, too quickly, saddled with powers and responsibility and expectation. If there was anyone in the world who might understand the emptiness in your chest and the drive to fill it with something, anything, that made the burden of your abilities and the circumstances of your birth worth it, it would be him. Maybe he was someone you could trust, lean on. Your heart ached, not realizing until the thought crossed your mind how badly you wanted that, and how much you hoped he wanted it too.

Still, the merry chase you’d led him on had taken up more time than you’d have liked and you had the opening shift, plus a client to meet. No time to dwell as his silhouette faded into the morning mist.

#Diego Hargreeves x Reader #The Umbrella Academy fic #pre-canon #Light Fingers #something of a filler/plot-light chapter #which is a shame because it also contains one of the snippets that clawed its way into my brain and led to the series #I really should have started thrown into the action better instead of this build-up #but we're here now and so the only way out is through #I promise chapter 3 will be meatier

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wetalkinboutbooks · 5 years ago

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My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite

Summary: When Korede’s dinner is interrupted one night by a distress call from her sister, Ayoola, she knows what’s expected of her: bleach, rubber gloves, nerves of steel and a strong stomach. This’ll be the third boyfriend Ayoola’s dispatched in, quote, self-defence and the third mess that her lethal little sibling has left Korede to clear away. She should probably go to the police for the good of the menfolk of Nigeria, but she loves her sister and, as they say, family always comes first. Until, that is, Ayoola starts dating the doctor where Korede works as a nurse. Korede’s long been in love with him, and isn’t prepared to see him wind up with a knife in his back: but to save one would mean sacrificing the other. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:

→ Geena: ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️🌗

→ Kae: ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️🌗

Overall:

My Sister, the Serial Killer is a thriller that delivers 😤 Oyinkan Braithwaite does an amazing job delving into the psyche of our main character even though there’s only a few hundred pages to this book. In addition, we also get a sense of every other character’s personalities (with some bias since it is first person). There’s wild plot twists and an ending that leaves your brain reeling! We highly recommend this book, it’s a quick read and pretty entertaining.

~ Spoiler-full discussion below ~

The Good:

→ The story

Kae: So, we start off with Korede receiving a call from her sister, Ayoola. She has killed another man and has class her big sister to help clean up her mess. Korede, as tired of her sisters shit as she is, drives to her sisters now DEAD boyfriends house to help dispose of the body. Her sister is always claiming self-defense, but Korede isn’t so sure. She’s a bit of an obsessive cleaner, so she scrubs his house clean, they throw his body in the river and continue on about their lives. Korede, not as easily as her sister. Korede is a nurse who has a crush on one of the doctors, Tade, who is just GOD’S FINEST MAN, according to Korede. Not in those words, but you get what I’m sayin’.

Geena: SHE DESCRIBED HIM LIKE THE MAN OF EVERY GIRL’S DREAM

Kae: Boom! This is true. She’s madly in love with him. He can sing, is tall dark and handsome, and has a smile that outshines the sun. BUT, Korede is not conveniently attractive and is often overlooked by her beautiful sister, Ayoola. Though Korede doesn’t mind, it still irked me that everyone assumed she was jealous of Ayoola. They also treated Korede like the ugly duckling and I DID NOT like that shit AT ALL.

Geena: Kae really hit all the main points, and I agree… I HATED how Korede was treated and looked at. Everyone around her seemed to look down on her (even her own mother???). Regardless of how she’s been treated due to her comparison to Ayoola, Korede loves her sister (like why else would she help hide 3 of her murders lmao) and would do ANYTHING (obviously) for her. Though that takes a hit when Ayoola waltzes into her hospital and the doctor she had a crush on falls head over heels for her. It’s just a wild ride from there as the doctor Korede thought was so perfect… just…. Rots??? LIKE HOW DO WE DESCRIBE THAT… His perfect man façade just fades as the story progresses. I really liked how the story progressed and we got to see how Korede’s opinions and thoughts change over the course of the novel like yaaas girl men ain’t shit!

Kae: Basically, yes men ain't shit and I love how his character just deteriorates in front of our eyes. That’s good writing because at first, I too was like “yaaaas, a perfect man!” then I was like “Ew, it stinks in here. Smell like funky ass Tade.” with that funky ass personality.

→ Muhtar and Femi

Geena: DESPITE MY EARLIER POINT ABOUT MEN AIN’T SHIT, two men in this story were okay. Given that one was in a coma for half the book, and the other dead. Femi is the man that Ayoola murders at the start of the book, we learn about him as Korede keeps track of his family and how they react to his “disappearance.” Femi was a Soft Boy™ that wrote poetry and was lowkey jacked (according to Korede as she helped wrap his corpse). Femi essentially haunts Korede’s conscious, like the first man that Ayoola has murdered that wasn’t an absolute bag of shit (once again… according to Korede). I also liked how Femi’s voice in Korede’s head was the loudest when she was the most anxious about Ayoola murdering Tade… but as the novel progresses we hear less from ‘Femi’. AND LIKE…. OYINKAN IS SUCH A GOOD AUTHOR… all these subtleties that I didn’t even notice till now..

Kae: GEENA, YOUR MIND. I didn’t even peep that until you said it. But yes, to all of it! And now, we have Muhtar. Muhtar is a patient that’s been a coma for a few months that Korede has been caring for. She also talks to him about the murders her sister commits and how she helps clean the mess. You’d think this is alright because Muhtar has been in a coma for months, so he won’t tell anyone. WELL DING DONG, YOU ARE WRONG…. Kind of. Because my boy wakes up and he remembers damn there everything. Korede is shook (but I saw it coming hehehehe) so she then begins to avoid him. But, he requests her. He thinks her voice is what saved him and kept him alive while he was in a deep, comatose sleep. She begins to learn that he is a professor and that his wife was MAYBE TOTALLY POSSIBLY (absolutely) having an affair with his brother while he was knocked tf out. Korede is nervous because Muhtar remembers everything, but he assures her that he will not tell her secret. But he DOES tell her that continuing to aid her sister is going to destroy her little by little. He’s kind of right. But he, along with Femi, is a voice of reason for her. Muhtar is also one of the few people that treats Korede like a decent human being. He never mentions her appearance or if he thinks of her as a bad person. In his eyes, she is his angel that saved him from completely drowning in the sea of darkness that was his coma. We stan Muhtar! He even wanted to stay in touch with Korede after he recovered, but Korede reluctantly, burned his number. She wanted to leave him in the past, like all the murders she helped clean up.

Geena: Ugh yes, I was thinking that maybe Korede saw Muhtar as an uncle/father figure, because their own father was absolutely garbage like…. TW for reading this book because their father is honest to god the WORST. I feel like if she had kept his number and talked to him she would’ve been able to break out of the toxic cycle of helping her sister get away with murder but I guess it wasn’t in her fate :(

The Bad :

→ Korede

Geena: Our heroine is UNFORTUNATELY the bad of the book. We sympathized with her a lot, she was the eldest sibling that always got the short end of the stick both at home and work, but she was expected to be perfect nonetheless. Yet, as the story progresses and the solutions to her problems become glaringly obvious (pls turn in ur sister… even though at this point your complicit) Korede turns a blind eye and continues to fall under the influence of Ayoola. We had hoped that by the end of the series Korede would have realized that blood isn’t thicker than water…. But :// I MEAN I understand why narrative wise but IT STILL WAS FRUSTRATING like….

Fate: *presents the perfect chance for Korede to be free of Ayoola*

Korede: *slips on sunglasses* suddenly… I can’t read

Kae: Yeah, I sympathized with Korede a lot. Like, she was always overlooked, talked down to, and treated like she was less than. But she’s honestly the true definition of “ride or die” *ba doom tiinnngg*. I do wish that even if she didn’t turn in her sister, she would’ve at least moved out of her toxic home away from her murderous and toxic ass sister. Like Geena said, she had the perfect opportunity to solve her probbies, but she just kept up with the shits. THOUGHHHHH. Her sister DID attempted to kill Tade and failed and that kind of backfired. Ayoola claims Tade was beginning to think Korede killed Femi and Ayoola was like “oh shit…” then stabby stabby, missed him, BOOM. He stabs her instead. It’s a whole thing but they get out of it. Blame it on Tade. Self defense and all that jazz. But YES, I’ve gone off topic. Korede got stuck like chuck.

Geena: LMAO YES KAE WORDED IT PERFECTLY! And now that you mention it… I’m like…. What did Ayoola say that led Tade to believe that Korede killed Femi 👀 Ayoola was fr gaslighting our poor girl the whole time like… OKAY I KINDA WANNA TALK ABOUT AYOOLA BC HOLY SHIT THAT GIRL…. HOW U GONNA CASUALLY LICK ICE CREAM WHILE LOOKING THE SISTER OF THE MAN U KILLED IN HER FACE AND BE LIKE “OMG IS THERE ANY NEWS?” LIKE……. WHERE IS HER OSCAR? AND HER JAIL SENTENCE… My mind was REELING… Also, I GUESS Korede’s choice makes sense, she chose to protect Ayoola since they were kids (from their shitty ass dad) and I guess that trauma just forced her to follow the same path.

The Ugly:

→ Tade

Kae: Geena was so right about everything she said about Ayoola. HONESTLY. TRULY. Now, Tade… Tade, Tade, Tade. Not gonna lie, I was swooning right along with all the other ladies at the beginning of the book. He was described as the perfect gentleman. He is basically what every girl (or boy or anything in between or not) would want. Then, as the story progresses, we see Tade as well… a fuck boy. Like, backtracking a bit, Ayoola mentioned that Tade was just like the rest. He saw a pretty face and nothing else. And well, Ayoola was right. He didn’t know shit about Ayoola, her little quirks, or even what she liked. He just thought she was pretty and was ready to put a ring on it. He began to ignore Korede, only talk to her if it was about Ayoola, and eventually came to speculate that Korede was the one to kill Femi. He thought like this because he grouped pretty faces with lovely things, and well… ugly faces with ugly things… Like murder and jealousy. We slowly began to see that Tade was just like the rest of them and that was ANNOYING AS SHIT. ESPECIALLY when he starts getting up Korede’s ass, saying she’s a bad sister and jealous and bitter. Korede was nothing but nice to his STANK ASSSSSS and in the end, he couldn’t even be nice in return. MIND YOU. He’d only known Ayoola for like a month or two, but had known Korede for like a year or so. Annoying.

Geena: HARD AGREE ON EVERYTHING KAE SAID, because holy shit Tade deteriorated faster than Femi’s corpse. He really saw Ayoola once and forgot about Korede. Our girl out here used to COOK for his dumbass… She used to listen to him talk about everything, and Korede was ready to give him the world. The funniest part in the whole book was when Tade is going batshit crazy because he finds out that Ayoola cheated on him and Korede sees his condition and was like pathetic.jpeg… But they share a moment there??? And Korede tries to tell him that Ayoola is a serial killer and Tade is like “I KNEW YOU WERE A BACKSTABBING BITCH!!” while Korede was like… the only stabbing bitch here is Ayoola but alright. Not to mention when he brings out the ring for Ayoola and he’s talking like a crackhead about how much he loves Ayoola and Korede asks “Oh, so what do you like about her.” *CUE SILENCE* Tade is like “OH you know she’s super pretty and I wanna be with her.”......... like……… if that ain’t the most fuckboi shit……… I guess that was the point Korede was like “men ain’t shit!!!!” making it easier for her to just turn him over to the cops when he stabs Ayoola. GOD he was fucking annoying, kinda disappointed that Ayoola didn’t kill him :/// hoo boy thinkin bout that man gives me a headache… the absolute stupidity……………. Korede was wearing them heavy rose-coloured glasses at the start of the book and we got to read them shatter so that was a good touch!

→ Ayoola

Kae: AYOOLA. The perfect, pretty little sociopath. This girl is honestly something else. Sometimes I would have to scoff at the gall of this girls ability to not give a single fuck. Ayoola really murdered Femi, called Korede, then was just chillin on her phone or whatever while Korede cleaned up the mess. She has to have this like, impulse feeling where she hears Kill Bill sirens and sees red, then just straight up STABS OL’ DUDE and then she’s back to normal like “oops, I did it again.” and this bitch just be like WELP GOTTA CALL BIG SISSY TO HELP ME la dee daaa. She even participated in Femi’s hashtag on Insta. Home girl was DANCING IN HER ROOM after killing him. This would honestly make a great movie, ngl.

Geena: YOU’RE SO RIGHT IT WOULD MAKE A GREAT MOVIE, I’d pay to see this made. God.. Ayoola was actually psycho just after a week she murders her bf she decides to go on to the next one? Like girl wasted NO time moving on, even though the whole time she was with Tade she was, like Kae said, participating in Femi’s Insta hashtag like “omg where is my man :(((“. ALSO the way she expects Korede to not question her after she kills a man? Korede will simply insinuate that Ayoola murdered someone and this girl would be like “YOU SEE ME AS A MONSTER????? IS THAT HOW IT IS?” Making Korede feel bad and backtrack. ALSO, like Kae mentioned…. AYOOLA WAS NEVER STRESSED??? Even when the cops rolled through to question her and Korede, Ayoola was like ~sips drink~ “I’m sure Korede has this figured out.” Going to project for a second and be like.. That’s such a younger sibling thing to do? Like never stressing about anything because they’re sure their older sibling will make up for them.

Kae: And we do. We totally make up for them. Because if they’re not going to do it, it falls on you ANYWAY and I honestly don’t like seeing my little sister get in trouble so, I get it. She only deserves to get in trouble if I think she deserves it. Mostly because we totally raise our younger sibs. We lowkey “momma bear” them.

Conclusion

Geena: This book was pretty short, only a few hundred pages, but it was fucking JAM PACKED!! It was a thriller, every chapter you were like “Ok this is where Ayoola snaps!!” or “This is where the cops catch them!” but NAH! I really enjoyed the writing even though the ending made me wanna SCREAM, Oyinkan Braithwaite does a really good job at foreshadowing and so on. For example, foreshadowing Muhtar waking up (which I should’ve seen but I was drinking that dumb bitch juice). Rated it 3.5/5 because I think there was room for Korede to grow past what she has known but sometimes we just fall back into what we’ve always done :/

Kae: I agree. It was a short book but it was jam packed with entertainment and I never knew what was going to happen next. I really enjoyed reading it and I loved how modern it was with it’s mentions of Insta and Snapchat. I liked that Korede dealt with all of her trauma by excessive cleaning. I liked that it showed a real coping mechanism, even if it was under horrible circumstances. I liked all of the characters and the way Oyinkan wrote them. I loved going deeper into these characters personalities. The ending did piss me off, but IT’S A THRILLER BOOK. So I should’ve seen incoming *small violin*. I too, give it a 3.5/5.

Geena: BUT YA I’D SAY THIS IS A GOOD BOOK REGARDLESS OF THE ENDING RIGHT? I really liked everything UP to the end skfjns… PLEASE READ IT!!

Kae: YES. READ IT. IT’S SOOO WORTH IT. IT’S A WILD RIDE BAYBEEEE.

#My Sister the Serial Killer #Oyinkan Braithwaite #book review #diverse books #booklr #wetalkinboutbooks #bookblr #book blogging #book blogger

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jakey-beefed-it · 5 years ago

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D&D asks... 2 5 6 10 19 21 25 30 34 Sorry there are so many, I’m just just starved for D&D at the moment.

Well. Shit. If I can help even slightly, I will. o7

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played

A good long while ago, back in 4th edition d&d, my friend Brian rolled up Sarin, a pretty kick-ass proper elf of the sort that you very rarely see people take on. He was an ‘eladrin’, basically 4e’s High Elf only if anything more so because they were literally from the feywild and had some innate magic beyond what you usually get as the standard sort of sylvan-themed ‘Elf’ race in d&d.

Sarin was a fighter who used his innate magic (basically short-ranged teleportation) for excellent tactical advantage. He had a really cool backstory where he had fled the Winter Court of the fae for various reasons (mostly political) and had to make his way in the regular mundane world. Over the course of the seven or eight levels we played that game for, he slowly became less ‘cold’ (womp womp) and alien, forging friendships with his chosen band of motley mortals

Mostly calling him out specifically because of the really good job Brian did on characterizing him as a very different sort of being who through his friendships gradually learned to find a place in the mundane world. Anyone who knows Brian (his social awkwardness manifests as ‘aloofness’ to most people) knows this character was just... perfect for him.

5. Favorite NPC.

I’ve been trying to avoid posting about anything from my current games in these posts because I don’t want to be seen like, taking sides/picking favorites and whatnot. But this category seems pretty safe, so I can go ahead and pick an NPC from the Goblin Squad game-

Sumi, the like nine year old Adventure Kid, daughter of a caravan owner (and his extremely cool barbarian wife) the group befriended. Sumi is bright, curious, mischievous, brave, and often hilarious. The whole group loves the shit out of that kid, even though she is often worryingly stabby. She’s gonna be a hell of an adventurer when she grows up. Smart money is on something vaguely rascally, rogue or bard, though she also shows lots of curiosity toward magic.

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

In a limited series Exalted game I ran over one summer between years of college, my friend Jon played a rogueish character named Davire who solved most problems through fast talking, and those he could not solve with talking he generally solved with knives thrown from a safe distance away.

The time came to do a critical hand-off to an NPC villain; the party would hand over a terrifyingly powerful Artifact of Doom and in exchange the villain would return their loved one(s). Davire, the fast-talking oh-so-clever why-solve-a-problem-with-the-direct-approach-when-other-ways-are-more-fun guy, walked over with said artifact and killed the villain with it.

Not by activating it. It was a 30 pound or so hunk of metal (series of interlocking rings you could manipulate into various positions for effect) and he just... he just brained the dude with it. Effectively a crit, with complete surprise, and then burned lots of resources to ramp up the damage after the fact with a combination of magic he had devised (and spent xp to develop) like five sessions prior (of a ten session arc) because his plan all along was to take his ‘i never solve anything with violence that can be solved with conversation and certainly not at point blank range’ character and surprise the baddie by just fucking clocking him with the goddamn thing. That was his plan for the entire back half of the story.

There was, of course, a Bigger Bad, and he actually ended up giving his life most heroically to stop him Forever (actually using said ultra-powerful artifact at the cost of his own life) and that was seriously cool too but honestly when he just straight-up merc’d my underboss with Surprise Combo He’d Been Planning For Weeks I was fucking delighted.

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

@kingerblogs‘ goblins are literally always a goddamn hoot. Absolute favorites, even the ones who aren’t the Very Special goblin Boy who my barbarian effectively adopted (despite the fact that he is very likely a full-grown goblin), Skabb.

I have a love/hate with mind flayers. Love because they’re great villains and full of potential horror both cosmic and just plain visceral, hate because augh they want to eat your brain!

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

Can’t speak for others but oh dear god yes. It doesn’t really come up in d&d anymore given that I play online and we use bots to randomly generate a number in the correct range rather than physical dice. But I can definitely point to my Warhammer habits as an example- a die consistently rolls low? Put it in ‘time out’ and don’t roll it again that game. Putting your dice away or setting them out to be rolled before a game? Set them with the highest face up, to ‘train’ them that that is the desired roll.

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

Oh sure, lots. The one that comes to mind right now though is the time when Altanin accidentally burned down half the city they were trying to save from a cult that wanted to burn it down.

So the cult had these barrels of fantasy napalm stored in strategic sites all over town, and we had found exactly one of said sites, and were fighting the resident cultists. One of them jumped down into a tunnel (they were using the sewers and such to move around unseen) to escape us, and Altanin (who was raging) had a fun thought- would it not be the height of irony if this guy got blown up by his own WMD? So Altanin hoisted the barrel above his head, and then hurled it down into the tunnel to fry the bastard. Full-on donkey kong style.

The guy burned to a crisp all right, but the fire did not stay contained to the little escape tunnel and instead spread to the rest of the warehouse we were in, and then a few other nearby buildings before we were able to slay the living flame elementals that were spreading the blaze.

Thing is, the other cultists were stationed throughout the city, awaiting the signal to blow shit up. About half of them saw this fire, went ‘well, it’s early, it’s not time for the coordinated assault’ and held off. The other half went ‘oh shit we’re starting early?’ and blew up their fantasy napalm.

So it could have been worse, in that if we hadn’t done anything they would’ve just set off coordinated detonations and burned the whole city down like an hour later. But yeah it was... not Altanin’s finest moment.

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

No examples are springing to mind so let me just say that sometimes it feels like half the shit my players do takes me by complete surprise. Often for the worse (why... why would you do that?), often for the better.

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

My players tend to solve all manner of problems through cleverness or persuasiveness that I have planned as combat encounters. This delights me.

34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

Flavor is slightly more important to me, but usually I can convince a DM (and as a DM, I am amenable to) that they’re not mutually exclusive and let me ‘re-flavor’ a spell or power or weapon or whatever to be both effective AND thematic to the character.

#petepaintswarhammer

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taymartiart · 1 year ago

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Just thinking about Poppy always being in Casteel’s big sweaters and killing a man in them

#wifey things #somebody get poppy her own shirt #poppy da'neer #poppy x casteel x kieran #casteel x poppy #poppy balfour #fbaa series #fbaa fanart #fbaa #from blood and ash #jennifer l armentrout #casteel da'neer #poppy x casteel #the crown of gilded bones #number one stabby wife

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sanoiro · 6 years ago

Note

Hi. I'm wondering if you happen to have a link to the most accurate list of the Top 10 Lucifer episodes that's based on ratings

A link no but let’s make a list according to IMDB, shall we? :)

The Answer is:

1) 9.8____3x24 - A Devil of My Word

2) 9.6____3x23 - Quintessential Deckerstar

3) 9.5____2x13 - A Good Day to Die

4) 9.4____3x07 - Off The Record

5.1) 9.3____1x13 - Take Me Back to Hell

5.2) 9.3____2x06 - Monster

5.3) 9.3_*__2x10 - Quid Pro Ho

6.1) 9.2_*__1x09 - A Priest Walks Into a Bar

6.2) 9.2____1x12 - #TeamLucifer

6.3) 9.2____2x12 - Love Handles

(If we take them by first airing date the above are the Top 10 if we consider the rating a tie then…IF you want to know according to the people who actually voted then check the bold asterisk _*_ between the rating and the episode number)

6.4) 9.2____2x18 - The Good, the Bad, and the Crispy

6.5) 9.2____3x10 -The Sin Bin

6.6 ) 9.2____3x20 - The Angel of San Bernardino

7) 9.1____3x13 - Til Death Do Us Part

8.1) 9.0_*__1x06 - Favorite Son

8.2) 9.0____2x05 - Weaponizer

8.3) 9.0____2x07 - My Little Monkey

8.4) 9.0____2x09 - Homewrecke

8.5) 9.0____2x16 - God Johnson

8.6) 9.0____3x06 -Vegas With Some Radish

9.1) 8.9_*__1x11 - St. Lucifer

9.2) 8.9____2x08 - Trip to Stabby Town

9.3) 8.9____2x11 - Stewardess Interruptus

9.4) 8.9____3x09 - The Sinnerman

10.1) 8.8_*__1x07 - Wingman

10.2) 8.8____2x04 - Lady Parts

10.3) 8.8____3x01 - They’re Back, Aren’t They?

10.4) 8.8____3x03 - Mr. and Mrs. Mazikeen Smith

10.5) 8.8____3x19 - Orange Is the New Maze

Season 1

1x01- Pilot 8.9

Lucifer has left Hell to take up a life on Earth. When a friend of his is murdered Lucifer joins forces with the good side of the law to discover who the perpetrators are and to give them what they rightfully deserve.

1x02 - Lucifer, Stay. Good Devil. 8.4

When a movie star’s son is killed after being chased by the paparazzi, Chloe takes a deep look into the case with a little help from Lucifer. Meanwhile, Maze and Amenadiel continue to encourage Lucifer to go back to hell.

1x03 - The Would-Be Prince of Darkness 8.4

An up-and-coming quarterback calls Lucifer after finding a corpse in his pool; Lucifer asks Chloe to help investigate, which leads them into the world of big-money sports.

1x04 - Manly Whatnots 8.7

In an effort to get over his infatuation with Chloe, Lucifer decides that he must seduce her. Meanwhile, the two team up on a missing girl case and Amenadiel confronts Maze about his concerns about Lucifer.

1x05 - Sweet Kicks 8.3

When Lucifer is attending a fashion show, a girl gets murdered. He then volunteers to help Detective Decker solve the homicide. Mazikeen goes behind Lucifer’s back.

1x06 - Favorite Son 9.0

A robbery gone bad leads to Lucifer and Chloe working together. Dan has an unusual encounter with Mazikeen. Chloe suspects Lucifer might be a criminal. Linda chooses to play Lucifer’s game.

1x07 - Wingman 8.8

Lucifer gets help from an unlikely source while trying to find the contents of his stolen container; Chloe uncovers a vital clue.

1x08 - Et Tu, Doctor? 8.5

The murder of a therapist prompts Lucifer to enlist the help of Dr. Linda to search for a suspect.

1x09 - A Priest Walks Into a Bar 9.2

A priest seeks out Lucifer’s help when he suspects an underground drug operation has set up shop at a neighborhood youth center. Meanwhile, Malcolm manipulates a way to keep an eye on Dan.

1x10 - Pops 8.6

Lucifer and Chloe suspect a restaurateur’s son played a part in his death; the return of Chloe’s mother sends her life into upheaval.

1x11 - St. Lucifer 8.9

When philanthropist Tim Dunlear is found dead, Lucifer explores his good side by becoming a benefactor for Tim’s glitzy Los Angeles charity.

1x12 - #TeamLucifer 9.2

The team investigates the death of a woman whose body with “Hail Lucifer” message was found lying in a pentagram.

1x13 - Take Me Back to Hell 9.3

When Lucifer is framed for murder, he and Chloe must work together to clear his name and prove the identity of the true killer.

Season 2

2x01 - Everything’s Coming Up Lucifer 8.7

Lucifer and Chloe look into the murder of a stand-in actress; Chloe’s faith in Lucifer is tested.

2x02 - Liar, Liar, Slutty Dress on Fire 8.7

Lucifer suspects his mother may be involved in a ghastly murder for which she claims she’s innocent.

2x03 - Sin-Eater 8.4

Lucifer and Chloe investigate a gruesome murder after a video of the crime surfaces on social media. When a second video appears, they realize they have a serial killer on their hands.

2x04 - Lady Parts 8.8

After the bodies of two young L.A. transplants are found poisoned, Chloe and Lucifer hunt for the killer. Upon Maze convincing Chloe to go out for drinks, which the detective perceives as an act of friendship, but is actually part of a bet between Maze and Lucifer, the two make a shocking decision.

2x05 - Weaponizer 9.0

Lucifer’s brother Uriel shows up as he investigates the murder of his favorite action hero.

2x06 - Monster 9.3

Guilty and self-destructive, Lucifer clashes with Chloe during an investigation, leading her to team up with Dan instead. Meanwhile, Amenadiel bonds with Charlotte, and Maze takes Trixie trick-or-treating.

2x07 - My Little Monkey 9.0

After the man convicted of killing Chloe’s father is murdered, new clues suggests he was framed; Maze looks for a job; Lucifer tries to learn how to be normal by watching Dan.

2x08 - Trip to Stabby Town 8.9

0Lucifer seeks Azrael’s blade when he discovers it’s been used in a string of violent stabbings linked to a local yoga studio.

2x09 - Homewrecker 9.0

Lucifer goes to great lengths to protect his home when the owner is murdered and the new owner wants it demolished.

2x10 - Quid Pro Ho 9.3

Charlotte is determined to get Lucifer to leave Earth by turning Chloe against him. Meanwhile, Amenadiel has begun working as Charlotte’s soldier, which makes Maze question his loyalty.

2x11 - Stewardess Interruptus 8.9

The tension between Lucifer and Chloe makes it difficult for them to investigate the murder of two victims who happen to be Lucifer’s old flames.

2x12 - Love Handles 9.2

Lucifer and Chloe investigate a mysterious masked killer who is poisoning college students. They also try to make sense of their new relationship, after a long-awaited kiss. Meanwhile, Charlotte visits Linda for advice on a touchy subject.

2x13 - A Good Day to Die 9.5

Lucifer returns to hell to find an antidote for Chloe and his mother goes to hell to bring him back.

2x14 - Candy Morningstar 8.6

Lucifer has gone off the grid and cut off all contact from his family and the police department, following Chloe’s near-death. But the murder of an up-and-coming guitarist causes him to resurface - with a new mystery woman. Meanwhile, Lucifer’s mom realizes she may have found a way to finally get them back to Heaven.

2x15 - Deceptive Little Parasite 8.5

Lucifer attempts to control his emotions when he learns the flaming sword is the only way the family can return home. In the meantime, a therapist and head of admissions at a prestigious private school is found dead.

2x16 - God Johnson 9.0

When a grisly murder takes place at an insane asylum, the prime suspect calls himself God. Lucifer, unsure this may be his father, tries to find the real killer.

2x17 - Sympathy for the Goddess 8.6

Charlotte helps Lucifer and Chloe find out who killed the man who had the last piece of the Flaming Sword.

2x18 - The Good, the Bad, and the Crispy 9.2

Charlotte accidentally burns a man to death, leaving Lucifer to keep Chloe from figuring what really happened, so he puts Maze in charge of locating Charlotte and Amenadiel, who have both gone missing. Meanwhile, Lucifer seeks a permanent solution for the ticking-time-bomb that is his mother.

Season 3

3x01 - They’re Back, Aren’t They? 8.8

Lucifer enlists Chloe to figure out how he wound up in the desert with his wings back.

3x02 - The One with the Baby Carrot 8.5

Lucifer takes a sudden interest in a case while continuing to track down the Sinnerman.

3x03 - Mr. and Mrs. Mazikeen Smith 8.8

Maze heads to Canada to get more out of life, but Chloe suspects she’s being deceived by a conman.

3x04 - What Would Lucifer Do? 8.4

Lucifer and Chloe investigate the murder of a youth counselor.

3x05 - Welcome Back, Charlotte Richards 8.6

When a food chemist is found dead, Lucifer and Chloe’s investigation pits them against an unexpected face - criminal defense attorney Charlotte Richards. Everyone is caught off guard when they see her back in the precinct. As Lucifer tries to understand her return, he makes a shocking discovery that helps solve the case.

3x06 -Vegas With Some Radish 9.0

When Lucifer discovers Candy has gone missing, he hightails it to Las Vegas with Ella in tow. They work to find her, but interesting secrets could compromise the investigation. Meanwhile, Chloe is upset that Lucifer left on her birthday.

3x07 - Off The Record 9.4

A reporter seeks revenge after he discovers that Lucifer has been sleeping with his estranged wife. However, when it’s revealed who the estranged wife is, things get messy. Lucifer’s reputation and safety are on the line, especially when a serial killer from the past resurfaces.

3x08 -Chloe Does Lucifer 8.5

When a murder is connected to a celebrity dating app, Lucifer and Chloe question all they know about the world of social media in order to solve the case. Meanwhile, Amenadiel helps Linda deal with the death of her ex-husband.

3x09 - The Sinnerman 8.9

Lucifer and Chloe come face-to-face with the Sinnerman.

3x10 -The Sin Bin 9.2

With the Sinnerman in custody, Lucifer is determined to get his devil face back, but his conscience is in question when another victim’s life is on the line.

3x11 - City of Angels? 8.7

A flashback episode about Lucifer’s first days on Earth.

3x12 - All About Her 8.7

Lucifer tries to earn Chloe’s assistance in his investigation of Pierce. Meanwhile, Amenadiel deals with a personal health issue.

3x13 - Til Death Do Us Part 9.1

When there’s a murder in a suburban neighborhood Lucifer and Pierce have to go undercover to find the killer.

3x14 - My Brother’s Keeper 8.5

While investigating a death of a diamond thief, Chloe and Lucifer hone in an unexpected suspect. Meanwhile, Charlotte upsets Linda with a request.

3x15 - High School Poppycock 8.5

Lucifer fights a mental block, Chloe has silly fun while solving a murder, and Maze helps her friends get some resolve.

3x16 - Infernal Guinea Pig 8.7

A murder investigation reveals the dark side of Hollywood. Chloe puts her life on the line.

3x17 - Let Pinhead Sing! 8.7

When a superstar singer’s life is threatened, the team is thrust into the world of big-ticket stadium shows, crazed fans and divas, giving Lucifer a run for his money. Meanwhile, Charlotte tries to help Linda and Maze repair their friendship.

3x18 - The Last Heartbreak 8.6 (1,875)

Chloe and Lucifer track down a serial killer targeting couples in love and Pierce realizes the case is connected to a murder he solved in 1958.

3x19 - Orange Is the New Maze 8.8

Lucifer and Chloe enter the world of bounty hunting to investigate a murder.

3x20 - The Angel of San Bernardino 9.2

Lucifer and Chloe investigate a murder where a witness claims a winged guardian angel saved her life; Pierce and Chloe’s relationship takes an interesting turn; Lucifer discovers something that could change everything.

3x21 - Anything Pierce Can Do I Can Do Better 8.4

When a ballerina is brutally murdered, Lucifer helps Chloe solve the case; Amenadiel begs Charlotte to help him with an important plan; Maze remains devoted to a task from which Pierce asked her to back away.

3x22 - All Hands on Decker 8.4

When Chloe takes some time off, Lucifer is forced to work with Dan on a murder case involving a dog show. Meanwhile, Charlotte and Maze have differing ideas for Chloe’s party and after a wild night, Chloe rethinks a life-changing decision.

3x23 - Quintessential Deckerstar 9.6

When Lucifer and Chloe investigate the death of a woman, they discover that they may be pursuing the wrong suspect. Then, Charlotte risks her safety when she decides to take matters into her own hands, and just as Lucifer makes a huge confession, Chloe gets a tragic phone call that changes everything.

3x24 - A Devil of My Word 9.8

Shocked by someone’s death, Chloe, Lucifer and the rest of the team work together to investigate and take down the killer. Then, Lucifer has an epiphany, Maze decides to mend a broken friendship and Chloe finally sees the truth.

3x25 - Boo Normal 8.5

As Lucifer and the team investigate the murder of a child psychiatrist, Ella thinks about a big childhood secret that she’s been hiding.

3x26 - Once Upon a Time 8.5

Set in an alternate universe where God changed one little thing, which affects Lucifer, Chloe and the people around them.

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boneswriteswords · 7 years ago

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Dating Rocksteady and Bepop Would Include (SFW):

- Rocksteady and Bebop were together before they met you but when they did, it was explosive on their parts.

- Like holy fucking heart eyes Batman could you be any more attractive? Holy shit you're a giant sweetheart too? Oh my fucking god you are also a total badass that can do so many things? Sign them tf up.

- FUCKING UP LITERALLY EVERY ATTEMPT TO GET YOU TO NOTICE THEM! OMG they are hopeless. Like they tried to get you flowers but the bouquet ended up wilting and on fire before they got it to you. Rock tried to write you a love note. It sounded threatening. Bepop tried to look deeply in your eyes so you could see how he loved you but it was so intense and blank that it scared you. Every single attempt was a disaster and you ended up having to ask why they wanted to fight you.

(Brunette guy was Bepop)

- They would hang around your job as much as possible but it got to be a problem so you make them wait for you at a designated meeting point.

- Date nights always consist of all three or none at all. You do not see a reason to have separate date nights since you all end up pining for the missing link the entire time anyway so unless one person is away (usually you for work purposes), all three are together.

- You are in the middle almost always. You walk in between them. You sit between them. You eat between them. They need to keep an eye on you to make sure you are safe and the no one can get to you without having to face one of them.

- You are the designated shopper. Rock and Bepop have no idea what to do in a grocery store, a mall, or any kind of civilized person institution.

- Rock does the cooking. He has a knack for making things taste good and if you bring him ingredients, he will put delicious meals together.

- Their mutations affected you most. You remained human and fragile. They went from being the ones who protected you from everything to being the things that were most likely to hurt you. Physically anyway. Because they are huge, a little clumsy in their new bodies, and have actual stabby things on their faces.

- And there was the fact that you didn't know about the mutations so when you saw them barreling down at you, you ran. Which, you know, did quite a number on Rock and Bepop's emotions.

- Like their biggest fear in the universe is you not wanting them anymore. They never want to scare you so when they saw you high tail it AWAY from them, they got so upset. Like why are you running? Do you not love them anymore? Did they do something wrong to you? Its not until later on, when they've gotten sufficiently drunk in grief, that they realize that you had no fucking idea who they were because the last time you saw them, they were human. You had no idea about the transformation so you probably thought you were in danger when you saw a big ass rhino and a big ass warthog approaching you. They spend the rest of their night blowing up your phone.

- Bepop made it clear that he and Rock would learn to work around their new bodies because they didn't want you to leave.

-You used to sleep between them but after the mutation, you didn't fit on the bed. Yeah it was a huge bed and if there was room, another mattress would have sufficed but the space just wasn't big enough. Rock and Bepop may have had emotional break downs when you moved out of the bed. Yeah you sleep on a smaller mattress in the room but it just isn't the same as far as they are concerned. The only thing that kept them quiet was 'Well, I'm still in the room aren't I? I could have moved to a whole other bedroom."

- And no Rock, I can't just sleep on one of you. You both move in your sleep like crazy. I will end up stabbed or squished.

- Lowkey contemplating on asking Karai if there is any mutagen left so you can get on their level but dismissing it.

- They learn to read you as well as they read each other and it scares you sometimes.

- Be ready to deal with the grossest things ever. They have no filter or manners. They will burp and belch and fart and shart and curse. You are in charge of making sure they have a handle on it at least some of the time.

- Ok so speaking of gross things, the first time you fart in front of them - the tiniest little poot they have ever heard in their lives-, they sew (yes they know how to sew) the date onto their leather jackets. Why? Because that is the day you basically became their wife because farting in front of your partner is a big thing and means you are in it for the long haul...according to them at least)

- You lowkey got that date etched into a bracelet charm. They called you their wife and that is special af.

This conversation:

Y/N: *is having a shitty time at work*

Bepop: Is there anything we can do to help?

Rocksteady: Yeah?

Y/N: Kill my boss and coworkers.

R&B: …...*starts walking to the door*

Y/N: No, come back. I didn't mean it. Stop right there and turn around.

R&B: *Turns back around* Bepop: That seemed counterproductive.

#tmnt #tmnt fluff #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #fluff #sfw #rocksteady #bebop #bobsteady #dating rocksteady and bebop would include #violent bois #would include #dating rocksteady and bebop part 1 #mine

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authoressskr · 7 years ago

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A Nice Glow

Character: Gabriel, Stirling (OC), Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Mentions of Meredith (Stirling’s Mother, OC) and the Lord (Dad) :: Warnings: Language, Character Death, TEARS (I Cried At The End), Subpar Writing, No Beta :: Word Count: 2025

@sdavid09′s Daily Writing Challenge - Prompt #13: Your character finds a homeless child. What do they do?

Note: Do NOT repost, copy and paste, post or share my works on any other platform without my EXPRESS PERMISSION. -+- REBLOGGING is fine! -+-

Gabriel stood staring at all the new options of cookies in the supermarket, marveling at how good everything sounds. Mint double chocolate caramel drizzled cookies. He groans inwardly and grabs the bag before wandering to the next aisle over to investigate the new ice cream flavors.

“Chocolate Covered Strawberry Farmstyle Gelato.” He adds the pink carton to the cookies in his arms before a red striped carton caught his eye. “Humm. White Chocolate Raspberry Cookie Crumble Yum.” Gabriel rolls his eyes a little at these name choices, but hell if those long ass names and descriptions don’t sound scrumptious.

He’s strutting from the store with a hefty paper bag filled to the brim with his goodies when he sees a small child by the corner of the grocery store. Tilting his golden head a tad to the right, he switches direction to head towards the child. He lets a tendril of his grace reach out, careful to make sure it wasn’t an angel or demon before coming closer.

“Hey.” He begins softly, reminding himself not to come off creepy. “Where are your parents?”

“I don’t know. Mommy hasn’t come back like she said.” Gabriel’s jaw locked before kneeling in front of the little boy.

“How long you been waiting, short stack?”

“Two days. I slept in our car before they tooked it.”

Gabriel looks around the parking lot before waving away his bag of goodies and offers a hand tentatively to the child.

“What’s your name?”

“Stirling.”

“Let’s get you something to eat and then we’ll find your mommy. Where were you going to sleep tonight?”

“There was a box with some old shirts and a blanket behind the grocery store by the paper box, so I could wait for Mommy.” He takes hold of Gabriel’s hand gently, peering up at him with dark brown eyes. “What’s your name?”

“Gabriel.”

“And you know where my Mommy is?” His little voice quivered.

“I’m gonna do everything I can to find her for you, okay Stirling?” He nods his little head before pressing himself a little closer to Gabriel’s side. Gabriel forgoed snapping, simply making a standard mid-sized sand-colored sedan appear close by. He carefully walked across the open path in front of the store to the car, opening the back door before Stirling stuck his head in to look.

“Where’s the seat?”

“What seat?”

“The seat for me to sit in, so I stay safe when you’re driving.” His head wiggles a little on his shoulders like this is stuff you should know. “Don’t you have no kids?”

“No, I haven’t had any children.”

“But you’re old. You should have kids.” Gabriel used his mojo to make the middle seat fold out into a child seat with straps while fighting a sigh.

“Old?” Gabriel thinks over the indignant response. “Well, I guess you aren’t wrong…” The boy’s dark eyes regard him like a puzzle. “How - How about I make you another deal? I’ll start looking for a wife who will be a good Mommy, then maybe we’ll see about a kid.” He pats the seat and maneuvers away for Stirling to crawl in. “Tada!” He crawls in without a word, slipping his arms through the straps and then looking exasperatedly at Gabriel.

“You gotta lock it.”

“You know, in my day...Oh Dad, that sounded old.” Gabriel fumbles with figuring out the which latch goes in which slot and is about to resort to using his grace when he looks down to find he’s actually managed. Huh. “Okay, short stack. Where was your Mommy’s car parked, so I can look around there real fast.” He half-turns in his seat, pointing to the little laundromat front. Gabriel can’t really drive, not without his grace, so he uses his grace to get the car over to where she’d been parked, climbing out and leaving the door open to look around.

“Short stack?”

“Yeah?!”

“Do you have anything of your Mommy’s?” He can’t catch the woman’s trail and part of him feels like a nose-blind bloodhound.

“She left me her necklace - for protection. She said angels were watching over us.” Well, fuck him sideways if he hadn’t heard that before. “Are you like a cop?”

“Nah, I’m just good at finding stuff. Usually. Can I see the necklace?” The boy’s little hands pull the little silver cross from under his too big shirt to let Gabriel inspect it. “I need to touch it - is that alright?” He gives a nod, Gabriel feeling his hint of pride at being asked instead of being told to - just like a big boy and smiles as his fingers brush the silver.

“Did that help, Gabriel?”

“It did! We’ll get you some food and see if you can sleep and then I’ll take you to see Mommy.”

“Is she far away?”

“Not too far. But you don’t want her to think you didn’t eat and sleep while she was gone, do you? Mommies always want to make sure you’ve eaten and slept so you grow up strong.” Stirling nods as if this makes perfect sense - so Gabriel relaxes a tad about that - then he looks bashfully away.

“Can we get chicken nuggets? Or pizza?” Gabriel knows those aren’t the healthiest options, but Dad only knows what he’s been eating while he’s been on his own.

“Pizza sounds better than nuggets, don’t you think?” Gabriel climbs back into the front seat, looking into the rearview mirror.

“Yes! With extra pepperoni!”

“Extra pepperoni it is!” Gabriel uses his grace to find the nearest pizza place, letting Stirling loose so he could choose his own toppings. He wouldn’t let him have soda, especially after finding out the boy was only 5, so they settled on apple juice. Gabriel loaded his new charge back into the seat, mastering the snap thingies in only a manner of seconds. He took him to a new (75% empty) apartment complex and once he was fed, entertained (which Gabriel found the easiest task so far), bathed (Stirling did that by himself, thankfully), and had nodded off, Gabriel made his move.

Warding the apartment and leaving a duplicate “sleeping” on the couch, he heads to the police station to get the information on Stirling’s mom and then heads off to identify her body in the morgue next door.

:: - :: - :: -

Gabriel sighs heavily as he types in the numbers to the super secret Bunker phone.

“How’d you get this number?” Dean growls into the phone.

“I’m one of Heaven’s most terrifying weapons. You think I can’t get a phone number, asshole?”

“Jesus. You deal with him.”

“Hello?”

“Sammy! I got a favor I’d like to ask of you and your idiot brother.”

“A favor?”

“Yes, Sam. You know what a favor is, don’t you?” Gabriel switches the phone to his left ear. “Look, I found a child outside the grocery store and he needs a home. Obviously, Dean did an okay job with you but ideally I’d like something a little more stable and a little less stabby.”

“You just found a kid?”

“He was hiding by the recycling bins by the side of the store when I was leaving. He said his mom left him there and was supposed to be back before dark. But she never came back. I fed him, he bathed himself and then he conked out on the couch. So, I did a little digging to find her. Wasn’t too hard. She was in the morgue, killed by a hit and run.” Gabriel rubs a hand over his forehead as Sam sighs on the other line. “I’m not terribly paternal, so I’d like some help here.”

“Tell that douchebag to bring the kid and the body here. We can call Jody - see if she’s willing to do the mom thing all over again.” Dean tells Sam.

“She’s on her way here with Donna and Claire, Sam.” Cas’s deep voice joins the conversation.

“Great. I’ll pop Stirling and his mom there and we’ll go from there.”

“How long til -” Sam begins until he looks in the doorway. He hangs up the phone and approaches Gabriel. “Where’s the boy?”

“One of the empty rooms. Uh, Room 14. I altered his memory a little bit, so he’d remember coming here instead of the empty apartment I took him to.” He follows Sam and Dean into the library where their laptops were. “I put Meredith, his mom, in the Lebanon morgue. I don’t have the foggiest fucking clue how to tell a five-year-old his mom is dead. Where’d Cas go?”

“I expedited Jody’s travels.” Gabriel eyes the women and approves of Jody, her air screams authority and maternal instinct.

“Why did you pop us here?” Jody asks, looking from Dean to Sam to Gabriel.

“Sit down there, Sheriff. I got a tale to tell.” Gabriel orders with a tight close lipped smile.

:: - :: - :: -

“Why can’t I stay with you?”

“I’m not exactly stable, short stack.” Gabriel answers as Stirling tightens his grip.

“What about if you get a good Mommy?”

“That could take awhile. I’m hard to love.”

“Someone will love you.” Stirling says with conviction. “You have a pretty glow.” Gabriel raises an eyebrow as he looks down into dark brown eyes.

“A pretty glow?”

“Uh huh. Mommy said angels will look over us and I needed you and you came.” Donna is turned a little away, tears visible in her eyes at the exchange.

“You got a nice glow too, kid. And if you need me again, hold that necklace your mommy gave you and think in your head of me. Got it?”

“I got it.” He kicks a pebble that’s on the garage floor before looking up at Gabriel again. “Did my Mommy go to heaven?”

“Uh, yeah, buddy - she did. It’s a real good one, she’s got the dog she had when she was little and she’s happy. I had my brother look in on her and told her you were safe and clean and that you ate. She asked for pictures as you grow up and I’ll break a couple rules to do that.” Stirling flings himself at Gabriel’s legs, burying his face by his hip as a little sob racks his body. “Hey. Hey.” He slides his hands comfortingly over the boy’s hair. “It’s gonna be great with Jody. A house full of women! I got you some toys and those Ninja Turtle shoes we saw on tv!”

“And you’ll always come when I call?”

“I will try to come everytime you call, but if you’re calling me all day or at preschool or something, you might have to wait to see me until you’re at home. But I’ll try. Which is more than I believe I have ever promised anyone else - so you’re already pretty special, short stack.”

“I’ll miss you.” He shoves his face back into Gabriel’s hip before Gabriel picks him up and hugs him.

“I’m gonna miss you too. I’ll watch over you, just like your mommy said.”

“You remember our deal?”

“Which one?”

“Where you find a mommy and have a baby cause you’re old.” Dean snickers and Gabriel shoots him a dark look.

“I’ll keep an eye out for a good mommy.” Gabriel promises before setting him down and watching him take Jody’s hand and be led out to her truck, his little face plastered just minutes after against the back window, waving. Gabriel waves back with a encouraging smile.

And if he’s completely honest with himself, he waves until far after they’d gone out of sight.

Not even two days and he was wrapped around Stirling’s little finger. Damn humans...

“I think that little boy changed you a little, Gabriel.” Cas mutters with a small smile besides him, the Winchesters thankfully gone.

“I guess so, Castiel. Personally, I think Dad is still managing to pull his head out of his ass every once in awhile.”

“You think he led you to the boy. It could have also been his mother.” The archangel shrugs.

“Just glad he’s got a home.” And Gabriel disappeared from the garage, with Cas smiling as he closes the garage - knowing Gabriel is following Jody and Co. home.

Tagging: @sdavid09 @thewhiterabbit42 @nobodys-baby-now @unleashthemidnight @clockworkmorningglory @sumara62 @ourloveisforthelovely @lucis-unicorn @galaxiesinmymind @chelsea072498 @sakurablossom4 @whinywingedwinchester @keepingcalmisoverratedgoddamnit

#Gabriel #the archangel gabriel #tale teller's daily writing challenge #authoressskr writes #castiel angel of the lord #dean winchester #sam winchester #jody mills #donna hanscum #Claire novak #Stirling OC #slight dad!Gabriel feels #I cried writing this #i'm sorry about this #prompt thirteen

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theres-an-impulstor-among-us · 3 years ago

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Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 32 (01/10/21)

Brody was missing from this session so Joker filled in for him.

(also, as weird as this sounds, cw for mentions of blood IRL)

…

Astro: Joker, do you wanna vouch for me that I didn’t kill this person? Joker: Astro and Skizz didn’t, but Astro was thinking about it. So, you know, take that for what it’s worth. Etho: We all have those thoughts though.

...

Impulse: I will admit, I have a weird new role that I don’t know what it means. Astro: Poisoner? Impulse, the poisoner: No. Skizz: Jerkface McJerkyton? That’s not new.

...

*Evil and Skizz are accusing each other, Astro is the deciding vote* Astro: I have a question. Give me a number between one and twenty. Skizz first. Skizz: Wow. I go first? Astro: Yup. Skizz: Uhh… ten. Astro: Okay. Evil? Evil: Eighteen. Astro: By the… laws of the… averages, uh… *votes* Sorry, Evil.

...

Joker: I’d like to make an announcement. Skizz: Go. Joker: I’m not friends with Skizz anymore. He marinated me. I’m not talking to him anymore, so if someone can tell Skizz this information, that’d be great. Skizz, laughing: Impulse, if you could tell the Joker I don’t care.

...

Etho: I trust Evil the most this round. Evil: ...and I’m not sure I trust you, Etho. Impulse: Ooooohhh. Spicy.

...

Evil: -and when I came back up, Pearl was dead. And I only heard one other voice. And he’s a very slippery fruit. Endless: Oh dear. Impulse: Apples are slippery too. It wasn’t me, though. Tango: Go slip on an apple! Endless: I was reading way too much into that statement, okay, let’s go.

...

Impulse: I was heading to the microwave in the cafeteria to cook a burrito. Skizz: Was it bacon and egg or bean and cheese? This matters. Impulse: I didn’t make it to the cafeteria cuz this got called. Tango: How do you know it was a burrito, then? Skizz: OOHOOHOOO. VOTING IMPULSE. Impulse: Cuz that’s what I’m hungry for! Allow me to dream!

...

Joker: I was there with the body. It was Endless. The last thing he said, and I quote: “Joker is amazing. And I’m sorry that I have to die.” Impulse: Don’t buy it. Don’t buy it. Joker: That’s what he said. I held his body as he died and that was the last thing he said. *pause* Joker: He also said “make sure to let everybody know that Skizz smells like poop.” Skizz: Ah, there it is.

...

Tango: Voting Skizz. Skizz: Whoa! Impulse: Was Skizz on the stack? Etho? Skizz: I was several steps away from it. Tango: I dunno, Skizz deserves to be voted off. Joker: I mean, I have to agree with that.

...

*Skizz cut his foot on broken glass during the break* Endless: Not gonna lie, my wife would kill me if that happened. She’d be like “yeah I’m sorry about your foot but what’d you do to the carpet?” Tango: Yeah, you heal; the carpet doesn’t.

...

Impulse: Think we might have to go another round without Skizz. Joker: Are they gonna have to amputate? Impulse: Probably. Joker: Yeah, I’d imagine so. Impulse: Be cool if he got one of those peg legs. Joker: I think he’s got an extra foot in his mouth, so he can use that. Evil: Wow… Impulse, snickering: Brutal. Joker: Was- Was that too soon? Impulse: Too soon, too soon. I mean, the dude’s still bleeding, you know?

...

Tango: Is Skizz back? Skizz: I’m back. Tango: Eyyyy, Skizzleblood! Skizz: Dude, I cleaned up all the glass, I cleaned up all the blood- Tango: Tell me it’s like a crime scene in your living room right now, that’s all I wanna hear. Skizz: -and then I made myself a drink and I’m coming up the stairs - I have tile stairs - and I’m like “oh there’s blood all over the stairs- I’ll get that later.” Tango: YEAH! Priorities! That’s what I like to hear!

...

*Skizz’s colour has turned from blue to grey due to a glitch* Tango: So Skizz, you’ve been grey. Skizz: I got- I got nothin’. Tango: Did you- How much blood did you lose? Are you turning into a- Skizz: *bursts out laughing* Evil: Zombieeeee.

...

*body is reported* Tango: I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! I did the pipes! *pause* Endless: Congratulations? Tango: I PIPED!

...

Joker: If Tango could just finish his pipe dream earlier, the game would’ve been over. Tango: Is there a kick feature in this game? Just curious, asking for a friend. Endless: Yeah, if you go into the chat, there’s a boot option. Tango: OH! Joker: Endless. Shut up.

...

Evil: Do we wanna switch maps and see if there’s more stability? Tango: Yes. I’m done with this map. Impulse: But I just took pictures! Tango: Can we play, like, the real map? Impulse: I got kicked off the ship for taking those pictures! Joker: Whoa. I dunno what I just walked into but that did not sound right. Endless, overlapping: Yeah, I’ve been there. That’s- That is not something you want on your record.

...

*Impulse saw Tango morph back from being yellow* Impulse: *calls meeting* Impulse: What’s it like when an apple tries to become a banana? Skizz: Ooh, it’s like a smoothie! Endless, chuckling: What? Skizz, in a funny voice: Put a little blueberry in there. Tango: We got a little fruit action going on there or what? Joker: How much blood did you lose, Skizz? You feeling okay?

...

Skizz: Etho. Say words. I like your voice. Etho: What’s up, buddy? What do you want to know? Skizz: I wanna know why you killed sweet Pearl. Etho: Which round? Skizz: Ohohh man. THIS round! Body’s not even cold!

...

Astro: We’re trying for our first task win. Oh, unless Joker’s not gonna do his task. Joker: I- Uh… What, Astro? Astro: Huh? What? What? Where? Huh? Joker: Tasks?

...

Skizz: Who is not doing their tasks?! What IS that? Astro: I’ll give you seven guesses. Skizz: Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker. Joker: Someone called? Skizz: Are you- Are you not- Do you have tasks, Jokes? *long pause* Joker: Um… Are we talking about like, around my house? Skizz: *sighs* Okay.

...

Joker:*reports a body* Joker: OH I found this! Impulse: *laughs* “Oh I found this”? Joker, also laughing: I don’t know why I said it that way.

...

Skizz: Can you do your last task? Cuz that would just be super. Joker: Yeah, Endless. Can you do your last task? Endless: My tasks are done, dude! Joker: Oh. Then I guess you don’t need to do it. Skizz, why are you asking him to do his last task? Skizz: Talking to YOU, Jokes.

...

*Mrs Tango’s body is reported* Endless: It’s just Mrs Tango, let’s move on. Joker: That’s rude, Endless. Endless: Skipping. Moving on.

...

Endless: Whoever killed Mrs Tango, you’ve got my full support. Joker: Endless. Stop it.

...

Impulse: I wonder if Endless and Evil were both imposters and they were trying to cover it up by having a fake conversation in the upper left engine. Evil: No, it was a conversation about the fact that I miss him. Impulse: Yeaaaaah, that felt strange. Like, nobody misses Endless ever. Skizz: Yeah that’s definitely fake. Impulse: That’s what sold me, dude. I was like there’s no way he’s giving him compliments.

...

Skizz: I love you buddy but I just- I’m not even gonna vote for you, I just want to put some sus because- Impulse: You’re wrong. You’re wrong; you lost too much blood. You’re wrong. Skizz: That could be it. That could be it. Impulse: You’ve admitted that you’re off tonight, right? Skizz: No I didn’t, I’ve been crushing it. I was off on Etho ONE time and it got me a little- It shook my confidence. Impulse: Get me voted off, Skizz. I want your confidence to be crushed. Skizz: Oh…

...

Joker: You know what, I just wanna vote Endles out cuz I’m getting tired of his… poop. Endless: Do it, let’s do it. Etho: He might be jester. Endless, in an ominous whisper: Yesss, I’m jester.

...

*Joker is ejected* Endless: If this is wrong, we’re never gonna finish this game. Joker: Nope. You’re not. Now you gotta figure it out. Skizz: If we’re wrong, you gotta [do your tasks]. Do it for me. Oh, that was never gonna sell him.

...

Skizz: I think Impulse might be jester, I think the imposters are Etho and Evil, and the only legit people are me and Pearl. Impulse: *gasps* Evil: Wrong. Skizz, you are so wrong. Skizz: I KNOW I AM; I CAN’T DO THIS GAME ANYMORE! I WAS SO GOOD WHEN WE STARTED! I HATE THIS GAME! Pearl: You are wonderfully right, I had my hand on that scanner. Skizz: I BELIEVE PEARLY POP! VOTING EVIL!

...

Skizz: Hey! Tango! Why is Joker done with his tasks like three weeks before you? Tango: I dunno, man. I don’t know what’s happening right now. Joker: Yeah! Yeah! How’s that, huh?! How about now, sucker?! Skizz: *bursts out laughing* Joker: I- I dunno, I felt… I felt vindicated for some reason.

#impulsesv #tangotek #skizzleman #etho #misterjoker #theendless #evilnotion #mrstango #pearlescentmoon #astrozoan #friday night stabby #friday night stabby quotes

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oxymoronicromantic · 7 years ago

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Like I sent to PSOSA, even numbers for the end of the year asks 😊 (Please don't hate me)

How old did you turn this year?29Did your appearance change in anyway?I lost 15 pounds, then got pregnant and have been developing The Bump.If you traveled, where did you go?I went to Oklahoma early this year, and...I’m pretty sure I went to Alabama at some point? Then small day trips to Ruidoso and Cloudcroft New Mexico.Which fashion trends did you hate?The trend of videos hailing such and such New Makeup Trend. No. Feathered eyebrows are not a thing outside a particular makeup artist subsection of Instagram. Stop. What song sums up this year for you?Changes, David Bowie.What was your favorite movie of the year?Wonder Woman.Favorite new TV show?I think the only new TV show I watched was Iron Fist and The Defenders. The Defenders was okay.What food did you try for the first time?Shakshuka. Such delicious delightfulness. OH. And 40 Clove Chicken. HEAVENLY.What was one nice thing you did for someone else?I’m growing a person right now, which has given me morning sickness, shooting stabby pains where I’d much rather not think about, made sneezing and coughing *an adventure*, and currently has me wide awake because heartburn is the latest Thing. ....but honestly, does allowing a person to live make a nice action? Nah, I guess that’s basic decency...So...okay, I drove my friend’s husband to the hospital immediately after arriving at their house after a 10 hour car drive.Did you develop a new obsession?“Google, X symptom, pregnant.”Did you move?Yes. 600+ miles, to the next state over. Did you get a pet?As my husband has *named* the cat that adopted us, and he’s talking about making a shelter to keep her warm today...yes. Gytha Ogg. She’s awfully good about trying to insinuate herself into our home and lives. Do you regret doing something?...not much. I regret some comments and arguments and bad mom moments that happened...but they’re also pretty normal? Like, the allows for growth type stuff, so how much can I regret?Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?...my husband suggested that if he got a good job offer, he could move and start a job before I have the baby, and I could stay here with our son while he finished the school semester and I have the baby.A word of advice: Never suggest willingly leaving your wife mid-pregnancy to pursue job opportunities that...actually are unnecessary because you’ve got a good job and insurance right now. It doesn’t end well.Did you fall in love?Only deeper in love. Did you start a new relationship?I have a new son to start to know and live, that’s fairly significant I guess. Did you have to cut ties to someone?Not really.Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?Friends from the husband’s battalion (unit?) we just didn’t hang out really after the deployment....What was the best moment of the year for you?7:20 something am, August 31st. Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t?Pregnancy. I’m pretty sure I’m the same person. Even if I have had to really rethink priorities and goals and things. I’m still *Mimi*.What are you most proud of accomplishing?I’m torn slightly. I achieved a sense of peace regarding IF. Like, managing a surprise pregnancy announcement with 0 jealousy. BUT I WAS ALREADY PREGNANT AT THAT TIME. I just didn’t know it. So does it count...?But I’m also really proud of the 15 pounds I lost. I’d never lost weight on purpose in my life, and I actually started to enjoy working out, so that was pretty awesome.Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?My husband has only grown in my estimation. If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?I cannot even recall what, if any, resolutions I did make.If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do? Who would you go this?I wouldn’t mind a trip with my husband. Something somewhat active- walking or hiking, with plenty of low key stuff like movie theaters and couples massages. What do you wish for yourself for the upcoming year?...non chalky heartburn solutions, manageable round ligament pain, an easy birth, strong faith, a good choir to sing with, and to just be a decent wife and Mom through all the changes to come.

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stargleeksil-blog · 7 years ago

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Criminal Minds s02e13 No Way Out Part 1 review - or more aptly named, that episode in Criminal Minds where I want to hurl all over my desk because this unsub is one sick asshole who makes me question humanity. BLACH

Episode 13 – No Way Out Part 1

Hey guys! So I’m doing this one last episode before going back to sleep. Just got back from work, and I need my Gubler/Moore/Criminal Minds in general fix.

This episode’s title is seriously freaking me out. All I can think of is Matthew Broderick going “no way out” in The Producers. Yikes.

Let’s see what happens.

So we’re starting out in Nevada. Yay?

Ooh, that’s an eagle!

Get! Whoa! What the actual fuck???? That’s a fucking torn human hand. Shit!

Ha, that diner waitress trying to flirt with Gideon. I love you, lady. But that’s Derek freaking Morgan over there. Okay?

And why is Gideon just bypassing her like nobody’s business? What’s he so focused on?

This guy creeps me out. And why is he so obsessed with names?

Frank. Okay.

I love how straight to the point Derek is. He’s like, stop it, show us what we came for and quit bulshitting us.

Wait. He’s a serial killer. Did he do that hand in the beginning of the episode that nearly had me puke out my mac n’ cheese and schnitzel? Damn. Frank, what is wrong with you?

So they thought they’d have a notebook containing all of his sickness, but it’s brand new because he ran out of paper. Ew.

Yeah, right! What the fuck makes him think they’d let him just leave? Especially Morgan? And dude, Derek is not a lap dog. He’s a puppy. A puppy of a Doberman, granted, but a puppy. My puppy.

Aristotle: “Evil brings men together.” Youch. That’s morbid. Unless of course the Greek genius meant that evil brings people together in that it unites them against it, which I can totally understand.

So there are local authorities and wackos out there wanting his head on a spike. Yikes.

ONE DAY EARLIER

Oh jeez, I am so glad everything is down in my digestive system already and not still on its way. Bah.

Most prolific serial killer ever. Mmm, maybe, but to me he’s just a sick puppy who needs to be put down.

I’m with the puking deputy. God.

Female Sheriff? Awesome.

“And the one who sometimes forgets his manner is Jason Gideon.” LOL I love you Hotch.

I love her ringtone! Don’t’ know the song specifically, I’m not into that music, but it’s awesome.

Hey! What is that crazy lady going on about?

Hey! Leave Reid alone, you loon!

“A psycho with a whistle, that’s not too weird.” Oh my goodness, Reid.

“Oh, this is so not the way to a girl’s heart.” LOL I love you Penelope, and I agree, Derek could be more romantic about it.

JJ just pinned the map uber hard, and Penelope’s like “Ow! Stabby!” I love her so much.

He’s been killing for 30 years now? Holy shit, Frank. You are one crazy bastard.

Ketamine. A horse tranquilizer? He used that on his victims, but they were completely conscious while Frank tortured them? Oh my god, I just got the chills.

He’s just messing with them, he knows he can’t get out, why the fuck is he acting so calm? Wand how the fuck does that asshole know anything about love? He’s killing people for fun, what the fuck.

So they’re lcosing in on the town to make sure no one can get in or out. Smart.

Why is Emily visiting the crazy lady? Oh, her name is Jane. Okay. Why is Prentiss visiting Jane?

So Frank abducted Jane, she was high as fuck on that ketamine and thought he was an alien who abducted her, he drew marks on her to cut her up, but then he stopped? Why did he stop? Why did he bring her back home in the morning? What the fuck happened?

Oh god. I think I know.

Wait what? He put a mirror so the victims could see what he did to them? Oh god.

So he needed fear to kill them. He wanted them to fear them. Damn.

Hey dude! Come on! You can’t just shoot people! I get he’s got your wife, but chill.

Wait what? What the fuck does he have in the bag? Oh god. Please don’t tell me it’s a fucking head or I’m gonna barf all over the table and I need this table.

Oh god. That’s sick. But it’s not the dude’s wife. Ok.

So he’s been travelling all over the country from east to west, on intervals, like a clock. Damn. This guy is completely nuts.

Oh my god, startling Garcia is the funniest thing I’ve seen on this show so far and this is definitely me in the morning, just imagine black hair instead of blonde. LOL

“I like knocking.”

Wait. So George brought Jane back home with her. Okay, that’s being kind. But why is Jane suddenly sneaking up on her like that? That’s freaky. And what the fuck is Frank doing inside George’s house? What the fuck? Wait, he abducted George? Oh my god.

Hey! Hey! No! He just injected her with fucking horse tranquilizer. Damn.

So the chick he took was the sheriff? Damn! So he wanted Jane? Fuck.

Why did he turn on the phone? What the fuck?

Oh my god. Those wind chimes are made of human bones? Shit, that’s sick, Frank.

Define love. Bam, Reid just goes with it: “Chemically, it involves surging brain elements called monoamines, dopamines, norepinephrine, and serotonin. Love chemicals controlled by phenethylamine, also found in …” “Chocolate.” And turns out also in peas. WHAT THE FUCK? Oh my god, I love Reid.

And then Hotch is like, dude, come on.

Oh shit. That is one sick trailer. Damn!

Oh god, Reid’s scared face is just amazing. I love Matthew.

Oh shit!

That’s George! She’s in the coffin! Fuck! Oh thank god she’s alive. Oh fuck.

“There are no absolutes when it comes to the human mind.” So true, Gideon, so true.

Oh shit. She’s seen him kill her son’s teacher? Shit. What? He’s also killed the school bus driver? And the kids are missing? Oh my god.

Wait. They found her wandering. And he seriously did a number on her and she fell in love with that crazy fucker? Fuck!

So Jason will drive, with no one following, to where Frank has the kids, and they’ll take Jane with them? Oh my god, this is a recipe for disaster.

Oh god, Frank makes me want to barf. He is so sick I feel like actually throwing up.

Wait, did Gideon really find those kids? Oh thank god. Fuck. Those poor things.

God damn it, I hope the find Frank. So gross. They have to find him before he keeps on killing.

#criminal minds #s02e13 #no way our part 1 #aaron hotchner #thomas gibson #jason gideon #mandy patinkin #derek morgan #shemar moore #jennifer jareau #aj cook #spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #penelope garcia #kirsten vangsness #emily prentiss #paget brewster #i think i'm gonna have to dry clean my brain

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