#now you know my true feelings
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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Luo Binghe? Sorry, I only know Binghorse now.
#poorly drawn svsss#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#binghorse#Long time no Scum Villain art! I missed drawing them!#Binghorse stole my heart...The most evolved form of the Svsss skin creature to exist. I love this community's creativity.#Luo Binghe is the horse boy of all time. Looks handsome. Could kick you to death. Paradoxically fragile.#This art came about as I was slumped in a miserable (sick) heap -#- knowing I needed to draw something but lacking the energy to do a comic. Despairing another missed day of uploading.#When suddenly...Binghorse appeared in my mind. My energy returned. My mission was clear. I had to draw him.#This was nothing short of a true revitalization of creative passion. Praise be to binghorse. Hairlessness truly is holiness.#In my defense I can't swallow my own spit without it feeling like shards of glass right now. Let me have my delirium moment.
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Beautiful, But Broken
#bg3#tiefling#tw blood#c: Viivi#so I redid my bg3 character because I wasn't feeling durge that much. So now my sibling does durge and I regular tav Viivi#(changed her to tiefling for funs)#at least I meant to do regular tav but uhhhhh things have gone very unfortunately very fast#anyway. Viivi is an artist; she does painting sculpting poetry and some prose. Experimenting with this and that#unfortunately she is deaf which made making connections a bit hard in the fine arts world#fortunately she has a patreon with one very generous patron (she's fey warlock)✨ who has bestowed some gifts of charms for her#which have opened doors of many art galleries#She's not a fighter so although she is confident in her own lane she is also very aware of her mortality#so she avoided any fights she could#which might have saved her but also got her into the mess of her lifetime#you see she couldn't fight the entire goblin camp and their leaders. She would've just not survived that. So she convinced them#that she is a True Soul. She is good at convincing people. It worked. They thought she is on their side. Good#Halsin also though Viivi was on their side. Halsin attacked Viivi's party. Now Halsin is dead.#So Viivi and her group were still alone deep within enemy fort. Viivi made new plans. She frees the prisoner who says he will warn the grov#Good thinks Viivi now they know to flee. I will go to Minthara and tell we got the information from prisoner of the grove location#she will trust us and we walk off#when we get back to grove they have not fled and Minthara is at the gates#Minthara wants Viivi to sound the horn. Zevlor wants Viivi to sound the horn. Viivi asks Zevlor to please tell this plan in detail.#Zevlor says just blow the horn already. Viivi does that. Minthara thanks Viivi for leaving the gate open as planned#Zevlor does not thank Viivi for that. Viivi is confused as she did not leave the gate open. (for real the damn gate was left open)#So I did a Massacre.#now Karlach is gone Wyll is dead. Lae'zel is also dead#but apparently Minthara is ready to be very loving and sincere with Viivi. The most helpful person she has met in very long time.#Viivi might love her#so that is how she's doing.
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"Growing up is realising a (random ship) you loved is actually weird and bad"
Yeah? Is it? Great, I love it even more. The worse it is the Better.
#seeing alot of gf fans deny the billdip phase and you are all WEAK#god i wrote some true shit for them#do you guys notice how most dni accounts are under 25 cause i do#and we all know why#babes some day this will not matter as much as you fucking think it does#i used to think some things were weird but now im older and weird things is just good taste#explore your ships#youre fucking allowed to age up characters stop letting people stop you thr characters are fake!!!#nothing you do will hurt a fictional character#feel free to ignore this#clicking into an account and seeing a dni and sliding over to the age and being like “yep#yep yep yep i knew it“#never in my life have a seen actual adults care#okay for the sake of this resonancing#freaks interact#lmao#is this discourse?#its for sure proship
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I looked through my old drawings again and found the first D. I think I posted it a long time ago but deleted it so I'll show it again
#vampire hunter d#vhd#I look at this and think how my style has changed#I used to draw digitally and make “cleaner” sketches#Now I feel more confident drawing in my sketchbook#I understand that both have their positive aspects#I just think what really makes me happy and free is drawing#I used to be fixated on making the painting clean because every wrong stroke could be noticed#(it's not true💀)#Now I just like sketching#I know some sketches are too dirty but I still post them#if too dirty then on my other profile haha#I really wish I had a scanner to show you nice pics sorry#I'm just thinking about something. about myself and my art...
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One thing I truly adore about Palia is the polyamory and general queerness. It's so nice that we can romance everyone so we don't miss any plots or items, but also its nice as a poly-queer person to see some representation in a game.
There is no jealousy. There is no hateful or painful breakups (as I understand it, if you break-up it is not mentioned and you restart the romance plot-line). No one makes negative comments about two pins or switching out pins.
It's so nice to see positive rep in a game and honestly such a breath of fresh air.
#palia#palia game#palia mmo#queer representation#poly representation#like I love Stardew don't get me wrong and that can be queer as well#but if you date more than one the obviously monogamous npcs get upset which is also fine!!#but in Palia I can imagine those conversations of a poly relationship#plus it makes me feel I have more control over my OC's true character#my OC is demisexual and very queer and nonbinary#so their relationship to Reth is different than Jel and yes Hodari will soon be joining that polycule and I can know in comfort that#there ARE conversations happening!! even if just in my head!#its just nice to see some good positive rep and I am so happy about it#now excuse me while I spend some more money on this great game cause I want it to stick around for as long as possible
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soft🥹
#this is LOOSELY based on a photo of the only fictional couple I’m not normal about#(scully and mulder)#bc I had to make my new obsession just like them😇😇#hope you all have a good rest of your day I am going to bed now!!!#I am EXHAUSTED I woke up at 3am😭😭😭😭😭#my dreams are often like lucid dreams and I can control most of them#but also they’re like SO VIVID I can eat sleep feel everythinf etc etc#anyways last night I dreamt I was a detective a la Morgan freeman in se7en#going after a serial killer#IT WAS SO SCARY I WOKE UP LIKE😳😳#I’ve been awake since then & I genuinely don’t even know where it came from bc like#I haven’t watched horror movies in forever I abandoned true crime years ago…#my brain was just😃#also it’s funny I did this x files drawinf today#because I started watching that show when I was TWO#my mom figured if I watched scary things from a young age I would never be scared of anything#idk what she was thinking bahahahahahahahaah (it did not work)#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanart#sebastian sallow x mc
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I’ve been highly confused as to why Michael “deeply openly thirsting on Twitter about David Tennant for half a decade” Sheen is half-in half-out the closet but apparently Wales is absurdly homophobic lmao what the fuck how is a country the size of New Jersey that much of a hater bruh we out number the shit out of you
#i thought googling ‘how to say gay’ in welsh would be funny but it just made me sad#i knew the uk in general had a problem with trans people but WOW it’s fucked up in wales like. there are 8 of you what are you doing#i feel bad now lmao#wales#my weird welsh hyperfixation has taken me places let me tell you#cymru#homophobia#gay#lgbt#lgbtqia#good omens#bbc staged#michael sheen#i thought he was just ‘oh i’m quiet about my personal life’ but that’s not even true like my man’s probably actually scared#what a fuckass country lmao awesome#uk politics#united kingdom#david tennant#what is it with this tiny ass island taking over the world and being shitty lmao and this is coming from an american#bisexual#<- bisexual gang gang feel bad you fuckin haters lol#yes the whole world is homophobic i know etc but it’s like outrageously bad out there apparently#stay mad that i think nationalism is dumb ‘how dare you ever have an opinion you american’#you’re white you are not going to like where the power + privilege argument inevitably goes
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I’m obsessed with them already
#sram#sramhr#SKAM Croatia#dare I say most attractive noorhelm yet#nora klaric selem#roko maric#Nora x Roko#Now I must explain the song choice#first of all thinking bout you is my favourite song EVER#but I always thought that particular verse was no noorhelm coded#they’re technically not each other’s first times because they both have had experience#as far as I know sram will have that remain the same#unless they change it ?#but I always thought the concept of a first time extends beyond physical intimacy#rather - the first time you’re in love#so in that sense I see this as first *true* love#not infatuation#but pure genuine and deep love#a new feel!!#because it’s literally right out of their respective comfort zones#no cause let’s talk about how they have a mutual fear of love and vulnerability#for different though similar reasons (lack of familial love)#which results in them being quite reserved / introverted people#but their independence/self preservational personalities become a sort of security blanket#because they’re so used to moving through life depending on themselves#until they learn to open their hearts and let love in#and it’s diffcult and messy at times#but it’s worth it#god they really are so poetic when you sit and ponder on it
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#saw a tweet about fingers in open wounds and i was like ohhhh. i wanna draw.#talkys#a doodley#something about that ask saying silco is my talon 2 ITS TRUE i do get that urge to be Hurt after well you know#i need a shawty who hates me and will shoot me etc#i forgot that was the foundation of talon in my brain zone...unintentional hurting but still#i think the closest i got to this was drawing him choking me in a non serious context#i think that's in this years doodle page he looks like a gyarados in it LOL#he's me not me so of course there's good and bad days and self destruction in this manner#he's nicer now but he's my designated outlet for those kinds of. feelings?#i dont have ocs ok if i wanna draw dramatic stuff it has to be between us he respects al too much to hurt him
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I am always thinking TimJay thoughts related to the fact that they have matching scars from getting their throats slit, and not only that, but Jason slit Tim's throat first in an attempt to threaten Bruce, where Tim was nothing more than a pawn for Jason to use to emotionally manipulate Bruce.
batman (1940) #618
And then, just a little while later when Jason is trying to confront Bruce and do his whole dramatic moment with Joker in UTRH, and Bruce slits Jason's throat to stop Jason from killing the Joker.
batman (1940) #650
It makes me so Unwell. They have literal matching scars. When do you think Jason realizes it? When do you think, while running his fingers over the scar he has to always remind himself that Bruce was willing to jeopardize Jason's own life just to save the Joker, Jason realized it was the same scar *he* gave Tim? And does it click for him too, that he and Tim are a lot alike? Being used as pawns in Bruce's game? And for the first time he maybe understands Tim Drake, just another kid trying to get Bruce's attention and approval? And Jason did to Tim exactly what Bruce did to Jason? And that's part of what spurns on Jason's obsession with Tim, trying to "save" Tim from Bruce's ideology?
When they finally get together does it make Jason even more possessive? He put that mark on Tim and now he has his own to match. It's the closest to being understood and loved he's ever felt when Tim runs his fingers over Jason's scar at the same time Jason touches Tim's. Mirrors of each other, in a fun, fucked up little way.
#jaytim#timjay#batcest#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#necrotic festerings#i would've included the proper panel where the batarang slits jasons throat but i've gotta be so honest with you#i can't fucking take that panel seriously. the art is *so* bad. why does jason's face look like that.#it ruins what should be one of the most important moments in jason and bruce's history. everytime i look at it i either laugh or cry#anyway it makes me unwell that jason scars tim first bc i usually see ppl mix this moment up with the titans tower moment#which would make it post-utrh#but no it's from batman: hush which comes first which is so much more fun for me when it comes to jason coping#like first you have to handle knowing the man you saw as a father bataranged your throat to save the guy who killed you#and then you realized he incidently gave you a scar that now matches the scar you gave the replacement you fucking hate?#i'd also be so unwell about it i'd go beat tim's ass at titans tower.#in my timjay little mind this is the true state of jason's complicated weird feelings about tim#the realization they have the same scar forces him to reevaluate his gut reaction to tim's existence#and thus his spiral into obsession and testing tim then trying to recruit tim begins.#i did in fact post this instead of writing fanfic don't mind it. i'm having a time. i'm also avoiding doing dishes.#i like ships besides timjay i SWEAR they're just on the mind as of recent
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Blue flag basically
#blue flag#ao no flag#touma mita#toma mita#toma blue flag#taichi ichinose#futaba kuze#anime and manga#bisexuality#Blue flag? 😏 more like blue fa- *gets shot*#but seriously#i can't stop reading it as blue fag helppp 😭😭😭#Also i recommend everyone to read it#is kinda bittersweet and even though i despise love triangles i kinda like this one#specially since i remeber something that red from overly sarcastic productions said about “true triangles”#when character A likes character B Character B likes Character C and characted C likes Character A#and that it could never be a true triangle cause one of them be gay otherwise#so the fact this one WAS a true triangle#and it explored and called out some bs about society and heteronormativity#but also subtly brought aromanticism and asexuality in a way#and a little bit of transness#but the last one is just kind of a headcanon of mine lol#Also dude if i tell you i actually screamed and was kicking my feet at the end#i did not expect it AT ALL#i feel like this one and stars align will always hold a special place in my heart now#is weird for manga to make me cry so this one kinda surprised me too#also IT HAS A HAPPY ENDING#there were some stuff that pissed me off but they were minimal#lgbtq#btw this meme is lowkey canon just so you know like i won't say spoilers but believe me when i say it's kinda canon
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Smell Check [Easy: Failure]
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 1 (part 2 - part 3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#disco elysium#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#So sad I didn't manage to get this comic out on the 15th (pd-mdzs's 8 month anniversary and DE's 4th year anniversary) but I'm here *now*#I have a very extensive and detailed MDZS Disco Elysium AU that I am Not Normal About.#I've seen a few other people point out the potential in a crossover (true) but they make the mistake in having it be set in 51!#A true crossover would take place closer to The Antecentennial Revolution!#Disco Elysium did not go that hard on its cool lore for people to only make surface level crossovers!!!#One day I'll write the fic or post my notes. I don't know who would read it but it tickles *my* brain and that's enough.#No spoilers for DE (here or in comments (please)) but please consider....Magpie Wei Wuxian B*) On his way to be an innocent.#I do think there is a good chance a chunk of the MDZS readership would enjoy DE but...it's also not a game I easily recommend#It's more of an experience you have to marinate over. It's dark in ways that are off putting to some people.#It makes you feel like a very bad person all the time. It gets extremely personal if you allow yourself to be honest in your answers#and it's also the game that saved my life. My life was truly forever changed after playing disco elysium.#If I recommend it to people it's a badge of the trust I have in you to appreciate something dear to me B'*)#If you decide to play: PLEASE go in as blind as possible. You will regret spoiling yourself.#edit: this is based on real disco elysium dialogue. HDB has many canon kinks but this is not one of them
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I rarely take pictures anymore. It’s like I just don’t want to remember any moment from this part of my life lol
#me#mine#girls with tattoos#myself#girls with glasses#girls with piercings#fairy aesthetic#fairycore#you know I come on here or I look through Snapchat memories#and even at my saddest I did not know or understand real pain#now that I do I feel so different#so old and so worn out#I feel like all the color has drained from my being#I’m not even a person anymore#I have horrid ptsd now#the only way I can really hangout with my dad is to play iPhone chess bc he’s sitting in a fucking hospital bed#oh god it all hurts so bad to think about#it makes me want to throw up#I miss who I was three years ago before all the pain#how does someone even come back from all of this#how do I see the things I’ve seen and lose what’s I’ve lost and move on to live a normal life#I had seemed to learn every life lesson the hard way and always fall in love with the wrong ppl#I had a very tough time loving myself which is still true#but that was all stuff like I could live with and grow from#this is just a deep set pain idk
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the way that silver said "I will stand here with you an hour, a day, a year" to flint and "I will wait a day, a month, a year, forever" to madi....I'm sick to my stomach. who is doing unhinged devotion like this man
#I have no doubt this exact post was made ten years ago or whenever the finale aired#but I'M NEW HERE#black sails#black sails spoilers#lauren feels things#the way that silver is just like...'oh there's a strong willed person who wants to change the entire world with their strong will?'#guess they're my life now!#the way that flint and madi are sooooooo similar#except that silver diagnoses flint perfectly! he mostly just wants to burn the world!#whereas madi actually has true strength of conviction and ideals#and silver#who has been living with james 'my way or the highway but also if you outsmart me I might grudgingly respect you#but my whims are going to be IMPOSSIBLE to understand or track' flint#sees madi and is like 'yeah she'll be mad for a little while but we'll move past it'#and maybe they do! but he soooo miscalculates I love it#also the way that he looks at madi when she is looking at flint after they're all safe#is........so insane#loves her knows she loves him#is obsessed with flint#and yet the fact that madi respects and trusts flint#and that they share so much naturally in their thinking that silver has hard won#drives him craazyyyyyy#ANYWAY I'M UNWELL CAN YOU TELL
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Chef greg delivery just for you. it's a wonder I hadn't bearified him yet, he's my fave greg too 🔪
gays literally only want one thing (to be chopped up and eaten by a depressed man) and it's fucking disgusting
#kabukeo#something to bear in mind#other's art#limbus company#project moon#lcb gregor#r.b. sous chef gregor#namesake#i'm sorry for doing a haha funny joke reply i just like#i spent like ten minutes pacing around my house when i saw this in my inbox i'm not exaggerating#thank you for my life i love him so bad#do i need a gift art tag now i just like. i don't even know what to say#i haven't even made any actual proper posts yet i just made a silly blog i feel like i haven't done anything to earn this#to stop myself from blubbering i'm just going to respond to the tags on your rb#no problem for providing details again i think about this grown ass fucking man too god damn much but it's not a problem.#problems are only problems if you call them a problem. it's not a problem.#thank you for seeing the vision on rhino geg.#since kjh refuses to release him that just means that we can continue to acknowledge this as true and canon and there's nothing he can do#[ignore that he has a cameo in a card in game no he doesn't]#to me rosespanner is like. very much the type of guy that when you're crushing on him you try to talk to him#and then you get him to start talking about stuff he's interested in#and then before long you end up agreeing to watch something you don't care for in the slightest#solely for the purpose of having something in common to talk with him about#meanwhile he doesn't pick up on you trying to flirt with him like at all#anyway i could go on about how badly i need hex nail gregor for both bear reasons and thematic Actual reasons#but i'm pretty sure i'm about to hit the tag limit. so i'll just say thank you again for the cannibal i will treasure him forever and alway#it took me like thirty minutes to type this all out after i sat down to actually do it because i kept getting embarrassed lmao#offerings to beargregor#< gift art tag#that's it. thank you for my life once again. keep fighting the good fight soldier. we'll get this to be common fanon one day. trust.
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