#now you can give your babies a funny hat too <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[mekha-draws]

That last part about skin/accents for hatchlings huH 👀👀👀

[gingernut1314]

Call Me Baby

SDC x SDC!GN!Reader

Summary: The Stardust Crusaders need to know why you called them by their name.

Warnings: Takes place in JJBA part 3, Jotaro's kinda of goes past part 3 cause I wanted to lolol, established relationships, slight misuse of a Star Platinum??? (I say it's the only right way to use a stand buuuuuttt......), I'm pretending like Suzi Q was never in the picture (love you queen, but your husband is hot so you can travel with Lisa-Lisa) but yall are free to do as you do, the slightest mention of spice, Iggy is a PET/DOG only

Word Count: 760+, 680+, 560+, 700+ , 760+, 450+, Total: 3.9K

Song:

BABYDOLL Youtube | Spotify

A/N: because I JUST WANT TO CALL THEM MY BABY SORRY NOT SORRY

Taglist: @cinnbar-bun @lostfirefly

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Jotaro Kujo 😒🐬

Jotaro will never admit it, but he loves that you call me baby/babe

At first, he grumbles and tells you to stop but the more you do it, the more it grows on him and the less he’ll complain

When the other Crusaders get on him for it, he’ll tell them to shut the hell up as he simply grabs your upper arm and drags you further along and away from them as they cackle like utter fools.

He’s been through all the teasing and continues to let you call him that silly-ass pet name even when he utterly dislikes it (Errrrrrr--fake. He lies to himself)

So when you call him by his name on a random Tuesday afternoon he doesn’t know what to make of it

What the hell were you doing calling him by his name?

He won't respond and continues to read his book in the living room of your shared home

You’ll call for him again, thinking he didn’t hear you the first time

but this time he’ll turn his sharp, green eyes up to look at you from underneath the visor of his hat

“Who the hell are you calling for?” He asks, letting his irritation get the best of him. You just blink because what is he talking about? It’s only the two of you here. Who else would you be calling for?

“Your name is Jotaro, isn’t it? I’m calling for you so get your ass up and come help me with this. I can’t reach--”

“No.” He simply says, returning his eyes to his book. You grit your teeth and stare daggers into him, trying to think of what the hell he was going on in his mind--what the hell he was playing at

“Jotaro.” No response. “This isn’t funny.” A flip of the page in his book. 

You march over to him with a huff of annoyed air, the book he’s trained his eyes on snapped shut with a simple movement of your hand. You leaned down, placing a hand on the armrest next to him so that you could look upon the entirety of his flawless face under his hat.

“Remember what we’ve gone over together about telling each other our feelings because some of us would prefer to bottle it up and storm around all grumpy?” Those green eyes snapped up to look at you again.

“You’re starting to piss me off now.” You give him an all too bright smile, bringing your other hand up to pat his cheek in a way you knew would only piss him off further.

“Aww see, Jotaro. That’s not so hard.” You tease only for his hand to grab hold of your wrist faster than lighting, yanking you closer so that you see his displeasure up close and personal. 

“You’ll stop calling me that right now.” You blink in utter confusion at his gritted-out words.

“Then what am I supposed to--” It clicked then what he’s so worked up about. Why he keeps insisting you not to use his name. It makes your heart flutter to think that he might actually like being called by that pet name. “Oh--oh you sweet thing.” You purr in teasingly, only making those eyes of his hardened further. His grip on your wrist tightened. “You just want me to call you my baby, right?” 

Jotaro lets you go then, going for the closed book in his lap in his own unique way to end the conversation there. Oh, but you are fully invested. You weren’t going to just drop it as you might usually do. No. Not when he’s put on such a show for you. 

“Baby,” You say, lowly, stopping the books to travel upward. You watched his shoulders relax at the pet name. Such a small release of tension you hadn’t even noticed added before. “Can you please grab the tupperware from the top cabinet for me? The one with the red lid? I need it down so I can pack some goodies for your mother when we go to visit her tonight.” 

“Fine.” He said, going to stand from his seat, but you kept him caged in. You couldn’t help the smile that bloomed over your face as you looked over his features, which he always tried to keep oh so emotionless. 

You leaned in, placing a quick peck to his feather-soft lips. 

“Thank you, babe.” You said, moving away so that he could stand. 

“Good grief.” He grumbled, sounding and looking all so annoyed, but he couldn’t control Star Platinum from popping an arm out to give your hand a quick squeeze.

Joseph Joestar 🏃‍♂️🛬

He’s calling you babe/baby

You’re calling him babe/baby

He hasn’t given you a choice in the matter and neither have you

It’s second nature

It’s his and yours second name

So when you call him by his first name, it can only mean one of three things

1) You’re in his arms moaning it for all to hear and making his already too-big ego even bigger

2) he’s dying/in danger and you're screaming at him to not be as such

Or 3) you’re completely and utterly furious with him and are about to murder him

But, as he’s joining the other Crusaders all gathered in the hallway of the hotel room they had picked out and hears his name growled out like it had come from the lips of some great bloodthirsty beast, he knows he’s about to get completely wiped from the face of the earth by your hand 

“OH MY GOD!” Joseph shouts, heart coming to a full stop in his chest. “Hide me! Hide me now.” He all but begs to the group.

“What? Trouble in paradise?” Polnareff teases as Joseph grabs for his arm.

“What the hell did you do now, old man?” Jotaro asks, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

“I don’t know!” Joseph just managed to get out before the door to your hotel room swung open with a bang. He gives a shout in fright as he pulls Polnareff in front of him in an attempt to hide himself. 

“Joseph Joestar.” You fume, marching down the hall towards the group. 

“Last name too. Huh.” Kakyoin observes from where he stood next to Jotaro. 

“Get your ass over here. Right. Now.” You hiss, shoving Polnareff out of your way. The Frenchman began to laugh hysterically, unable to keep it down any longer.

“What? You’re gonna have to speak up, my sweet honey bunch, sugar pie, love of my life. My hearing isn’t how it once was.” Joseph panicked, reaching for Avdol’s arm only for the fortuneteller to move out of the way. 

“Forgive me, friend. This is your battle alone.”

“But--but--” A hand grabbing hold of his shirt froze him in his place. “B-baby…hey. Mornin’.” He said, slowly turning around to face your wrath. “Have I told you how beautiful you look today? No?” He gently unraveled your fingers from his shirt to hold it, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Just--look at you. You take my damn breath--”

“Joseph.” The man gave a sharp gulp at his name spoken in such a threatening way.

“Yes, sweetness?” He said, trying to soften your anger one last time with pet names and caresses against the skin of your hand.

“What is the one thing I have asked you to stop doing time and time again?” Joseph’s brown eyes flickered towards his grandson as he thought. Jotaro only pulled his hat further down his head to keep himself out of it. 

“Uh--not to use your hairbrush?” You shook your head. “Not to…eat your snacks?” Yet another shake of your head. 

“Nope. Want to take one more guess?”

“I--Do I want to?” Joseph said with a nervous laugh. 

“Next you’ll say: Sorry, babe. I was in such a rush this morning I completely forgot to not use your hair products because my hair could never be as beautiful and luscious as yours.” You said all too sweetly in the face of such anger you had been presenting.

“Heh, heh…babe, you know that's my lin--OH NO!” Joseph shouted, as you yanked him down, knocked his hat off his head, and gave his hair a good ruffle to mess up all the work he had done using your products. 

“Don’t do it again, Joestar.” You hissed, in his face, now sporting a too-cute pout. It made your anger bank the slightest. You could never resist that face, even when he drove you utterly crazy. “Find us a good breakfast place baby, and I’ll forgive you.” Joseph’s face instantly brightened and he placed a big, old smooch on your cheek. 

“You’re in luck, baby because I know just the place.”

Muhammad Avdol 🔥🦅

He’s not going to be the biggest when it comes to calling you baby/babe

But please go ahead and call him baby/babe

He loves it

He loves it so much he finds himself doing more and more romantic things for you just to keep pulling the pet name from your lips

He’ll shower you in flowers and small gifts and forehead kisses and praises all to have you call him baby

When he’s feeling more goofy or happy, you’ll find him calling you baby/babe right back

So on the rare occasion you call him by name, he can’t help but feel disappointed

“Have I done something to upset you?” He’ll ask softly, brows furrowed as he focused his whole attention onto you. 

“What? No. Why would I be upset with you?” You asked, turning to face him fully, your own concern etched onto your face. “I was just asking for you to pass me another napkin.” 

“Oh.” Avdol mutters in a small voice you hardly ever heard him speak in. He hadn’t even heard your question, just the utter lack of the pet name. You watched him carefully as he grabbed a napkin from the small pile the waiter had brought the group. “Here you go.” 

“Thank you.” You said, taking the napkin from his warm fingers. He turned back to the food on his plate, taking his fork back into his hand but making no move to begin eating. 

Had you done something to upset him? 

You couldn’t think of a single thing that might have done that, but something was clearly wrong. You reached a hand out to brush your knuckles over his cheek, gaining the attention of those bright brown eyes of his. He leaned into your touch, giving you an all too pinched smile. 

“What’s up?” You asked, moving you knuckles over his cheek once more. 

“Nothing. Truly. How are you liking--” “Hey--stop. Tell me what I did, okay.” You watched him pause, eyes taking in yours before his hand came up to keep yours against his cheek.

“It’s silly.” He said and you could see the slight embarrassment rising in his features. 

“I doubt it. You can tell me.” He gave you a lovely smile, squeezing your hand gently. 

“You said my name. I told you, it’s very silly.” You knew what you’d done instantly. 

“Oh baby, I’m sorry.” That smile of his only grew at the pet name. “I--you’re name is just so beautiful I just want to use it here and there.” You felt the skin of his cheek grow even warmer at your words. 

“Geez--can you two get a room.” Polnareff huffed from where you sat beside Avdol, arms crossed and a deep pout on his lips.

“Jealous?” Avdol teased the Frenchmen with a rumbling chuckle. “I don’t have any doubt you’ll find someone to call baby soon.” You couldn’t help the smile that pulled to your lips at the flutter of happiness in your chest. 

“Me? Jealous? Never.” Polnareff contiuned as you moved to take Avdol’s hand within your own. You brought it to your lips, pressing a soft kiss his skin. Those brilliantly bright eyes turned back to find you once more at the touch. 

“I love you, baby.” You murmured against his skin. 

“I love you too…baby.” He said a small smirk on his lips that had a small laugh pull at your throat.

Noriaki Kakyoin 🍒💚

He’s not used to the whole relationship thing

So don’t expect him to instantly be calling you baby/babe 

He might not even say it all, feeling too--strange saying it

But go ahead a call him baby/babe

He likes it

No--no he loves it

He especially loves it when you call him baby/babe when excited

The spark in your eyes as you jump and giggle and call for him using that pet name to show him whatever had gotten you this excited is addicting to him

It's especially addicting when you take his hand in your excitement 

So when you call for him using his name, he’s frozen in his spot looking towards Mr. Joestar, Polnareff, and Avdol for help

Because they might have more insight into the situation than he ever would hope to have

“Oooo--you’re in trouble now.” Polnareff teases, making Kakyoin’s anxiety spike in his chest as the Frenchmen elbows Advol playfully, though the fortune teller made no move to help or laugh. 

“T-trouble? What did I do?” Kakyoin asked, racking his brain for anything he could have done to upset you. 

“Beats us bud.” Mr. Joestar added, his own snickers adding to Kakyoin’s stress. “I’m sure you’ll find out.”

“But--I didn’t do--” You call his name again, cutting off Kakyoin’s frantic rush to figure out what might be wrong off. He snapped around to find you all but bouncing down the street towards the group, Joatro following behind in his typical unhurried state. Kakyoin tried to catch Jotaro’s eye, to try to keep figuring out why you might possibly be using his name, but his friend kept the visor of his hat down. 

“Y-yes?” He asked as you came to a stop before him, a bright smile on your lips. 

You didn’t seem upset. You looked all too happy to be upset…but maybe it was a trap of some sort? Maybe you were trying to get him to drop his guard so you could better shout your anger at him. 

You paused in what you were about to say, brows furrowing as you took in his panicked and stressed state. 

“Something wrong?” You asked, only making the snickering from Polnareff and Mr. Joestar harder. You took in this and then his state and felt anger begin to build in your chest.

Had they said something to him? If they had, oh were you more than ready to give them hell. 

“Kakyoin, what happened?” He seemed to sink into himself, eyes winching as he scanned over your features, which were growing more and more pissed by the second. 

“I-I don’t know. I think--did I do something wrong? Did I upset you?”

“Do something wrong? Why would you think you did something wrong?” You asked, placing a hand on his arm in comfort. 

“I don’t know. You just said my name and I don’t know--” He gave a deep sigh, looking away from you as embarrassment began to creep into his eyes. 

“Wait--You’re name? That’s why you think something’s wrong? Because I said your name?” Kakyoin glanced back at you, a small shrug on his shoulders. 

“You only ever call me baby.” Your heart hurt a bit when he finally expressed what was truly bugging him. 

“I’m--no I’m not upset at you. I like your name. I like calling you baby. I like both so I just--switched. I’m sorry sweetheart.” You said, rubbing his arm to try and soothe him. Kakyoin seemed to relax, a smile pulling at his thin lips. 

“O-oh…I feel a bit silly now.” You pulled a bright smile to your lips as you shook your head.

“No. Baby, I don’t think so at all.” That stress continued to ease within Kakyoin and it only made you even happier. “Especially when you have those two idiots whispering in your ear no doubt.” You said, shooting them a daggered glare that had their snickers turned into their own panic. 

“Come on, I found this little tea shop that’s selling a cherry tea you need to try. It’s to die for!” You said, moving your hand down his arm to interlock your fingers within his. Kakyoin was more than happy to take it and follow you.

Jean Pierre Polnareff 💔🗡️

Deep inhale…

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE CALL THIS MAN BABY

CALL HIM BABE

CALL HIM BABY GIRL 

He needs you to call him every last pet name in the world and then some

And he’ll do it back

He’ll do it back SO MUCH LIKE

It’s in his DNA. He can’t help it. It needs to be said right alongside every other pet name and praise he can think up 

He’s bursting at the seams every morning to wake up and whisper a “good morning, baby.” against your lips 

And he’s just as excited to whisper a “good night, baby.” before you two drift asleep wrapped in each other's arms

He melts into a puddle every time you call him baby/babe

Like--just puddy in your hand

So when you say his name--not even his first name--he’s completely coming apart at the seams panicked.

“Mon coeur, what have I done to deserve such harsh treatment?” He cried, tears brimming in his gray eyes as he grabbed your hands up in his own. His lips peppered each with kisses, flipping them over so he could do the same thing to your palms and inner wrists. It was a flurry of kisses that had your slight annoyance ebbing in your chest even when you fought so hard to keep it. 

“You didn’t take me with you to grab supplies.” You played up your anger with a humph, turning your face away from his utterly forlorned one. 

“Forgive me, please. You were sleeping so peacefully. Like an angel. Mon Ange.” His kisses continued to travel up your arm. It made your skin tingle and your heart begin to beat rapidly in your chest. 

“When have I ever cared about you waking me up, Polnareff?” You said his name only to pull a mournful cry from his lips. “What if something had happened to you? What if you had gotten hurt? Hum? What then? That would kill me.” Polnareff’s lips left your skin only so that he could pull you into his arms, trying his best to find your gaze but you continued to look away. To turn him into a near whiny mess as you crossed your arms, preventing him from pulling you flush against his chest. 

You were serious about him going off on his own. He should never go off on his own while on this journey. Not when he had been attacked while all on his lonesome one too many times for your liking.

“Je suis désolé. Please forgive me.” You peeked a glance his way, keeping your features and eyes stern compared to his pleading, pouting face that nearly had you breaking down and forgetting about the whole thing.

“Promise me you’ll never do it again.” Polnareff nodded, pulling a hand away from you only so he could stick a pinky finger up. 

“I pinky promise, mon amour.” You eyed his pinky, then his big old puppy eyes and gave a soft sigh. Your pinky found its way around his and he gave it a gentle squeeze, which you gave right back. 

“I’m serious. I don’t know what I would do if you got--really hurt.” You said, feeling your heart twist painfully at the thought of your best friend and the love of your life getting more than hurt. Polnareff’s soft, needy features shifted suddenly into that of complete and utter seriousness as he leaned in closer to you. 

“I will try my best to keep myself safe, but I will do everything in my power to keep you safe above all else.” You watched him for a long moment. Watched him and just felt your love for him grow with each passing second. 

You gave in fully then, pulling your hand away from his so that you could gently cup his cheeks. You stood on your tippy toes to press a soft, tender kiss to those warm lips of his. Lips that had stars bursting behind your eyes and making you feel like you were standing on top of the world. He sighed into your kiss, holding you tighter against him and never once threatening to let go.

“Amour?” He questioned, keeping his forehead pressed to yours. You opened your eyes to find that soft, needy look had returned. 

“Yes?” 

“Please call me baby. I cannot take it any longer.” He begged, a deep blush crawling over his cheeks and neck. You chuckled, rubbing circles into his pink-dusted cheeks. 

“Baby,” A bright smile pulled at his lips, his grip pulling you ever closer. “I love you.”

“Je t’amie.” He whispered before claiming your lips all over again.

Iggy 🐕💨

CALL THIS PUPPY A GOOD SWEET BABY BOY 

Give him some coffee-flavored gum while you do and you’ve got yourself a loyal companion for life

Will only let you pick him up, pet him, and scratch his belly once you’ve gained his trust

He’ll grow so loyal he’ll start getting a bit possessive of you if any other the Crasuders make you upset or threaten to even touch you

Their hair

Gone

Their lungs

Invaded with the foul smell of a ripe fart

Call him a baby while he falls asleep in your lap 

Just

Please call him a good, sweet baby

He’s ugly and a bit of a menace but he just needs someone to be gentle and sweet to him

“Whose the best baby boy in the world? Hum? Who is?” You ask as you pepper kiss upon kiss to his ugly little face. Iggy's little tail is waggling so much it's moving his whole body in his excitement. “The most handsome baby boy in the whole world.” 

“The most handsome? Hardly.” Polnareff huffs from where he sits next to you on the ground, arms crossed and eyes staring daggers up at the dog. “Have you seen me? I’m a cute baby boy too.” He huffs, making Iggy pause in his excitement. 

“Polnareff, you are fighting with a dog.” Polnareff growls. 

“That is no mere dog. No. That’s a devil. A foul beast come straight from hell itself to torment my innocent soul.” Polnareff hisses making you roll your eyes. 

“So mean to the itty bitty baby.” You said, voice turning back into that of a coo, placing another smooching kiss on Iggy’s stubby muzzle. Though, Iggy had now set his buggish blue eyes on Polnareff. 

“What’s he looking at?” Polnareff asked, panic rising in his voice.  

“What? This baby? He’s just looking at you. Probably wants a pet.” Polnareff’s eyes fly wide as he rushes to his feet, trying to create as much distance as he can between him and the dog. 

“Keep the demon away from me and my hair. I just fixed it.” He all but whined as Iggy began to wiggle in your grip, a growl on his lips. 

“He hardly did any damage. He’s just a good baby.” You said, loosening your grip on the short-haired dog. 

“Hardly any damage!” Polnareff shouted, taking on a defensive stance. “He tore it out!” You huffed, patting Iggy’s round belly as he continued to pull himself from your grip. 

“It wasn’t that--” Iggy shot from your arms and latched onto Polnareff’s face, becoming a storm of teeth and farts and growls that had you wincing in pity for the Frenchman, who shouted and screamed away. “…bad.”

[star2fishmeg]

can we discuss luke not trusting anyone with his curls but you so whenever he gets home from roadies his hair is a matted mess and he starts pouting for you to help him

We absolutely can, nonnie <3

He probably endures a lot of comments from the guys about it but insists that no one can touch his hair but you, because one; he loves the way you do it, he likes the result of your method and the method itself isn't too much for him and two; he only likes you touching his hair and massaging his scalp. He'd rather have to tame the curls under a hat than have someone else help with them.

Luke who never had a routine for his hair until he met you. You asked about it out the blue and he'd never thought about it, so, you found him one that wasn't too time consuming and went through it with him. You were both in the bathroom, him sat on the toilet seat with you between his legs as you followed the instructions on the product's bottle, massaging through his hair with his hands gently caressing your thighs, his eyes closed and it was as if the noise of the world had completely disappeared. You had explained the steps as you went through them, and he listened, or so he said at the time.

Luke who now finishes his showers and searches for you around the apartment with sodden hair, just to stand there and wait for you to come do his hair for him, leading you to the bathroom by your hand delicately. He sits on the toilet seat as usual, letting you comb through his curls, dab them a little dry and start applying the product all while he hums in satisfaction and traces patters on your thighs and hips with his fingers, pressing kisses to your stomach now and then.

Luke who has to go on long roadies for hockey and finds it hard to keep up with his curl routine and eventually becomes too tired for it. His hair becomes more unruly as his trip proceeds until his teammates start chirping him about how rough he looks. When suggested he go to a salon, he's adamant that they won't do it right and that he only likes the way you do it. When someone tries to touch it, he backs away, it's already a mess, he doesn't need it getting worse.

"Why don't you go get it fixed at a salon? You look like a ratty dog." "Haha so funny. No, they won't do it like y/n."

Luke who by the end of his roadie ends up wearing a hat to tame his curls, buzzing in excitement to get home. When he does, he expects to see you fast asleep in his bed, but instead you're sitting up on your phone and he's rounding the bed and flopping himself on top of your frame and kissing your face tenderly and eagerly, hoping to put you in a good mood before he confesses. You wrap your arms over his shoulders, giggling at his sleepy affections until he sits up and gives you a pleading look, such a pouty man for you.

"Missed you so much," he laces his fingers with yours. "I missed you more," you point to is hat, "What's with that? You'll ruin your hair."

Luke who feels guilty and gives you a pout, as if to ask you to not be mad at him. He takes his hat off and ruffles his hair out slightly, letting the matted and knotted curls, all fallen out of their shape - some janky, some flat, some still fine - by now, fall over his forehead and even though you're irritated he didn't follow the simple routine you gave him, designed specifically to accomodate roadies, you find yourself sighing with a small smile at his puppy dog gaze.

"Help...I tried, baby, I really did but y'know how it gets..." he whines and all you do is lean over, push his hair off his forehead, kiss it and kiss his cheeks and a final, long, sweet kiss to his lips, one that has you slipping your hands to his nape and pulls a little groan from him. "I believe you Lu, we'll fix it in the morning, for now, come to bed."

[pineappleciders]

I loved your older siblings has, can u do more of them ?? :3

south park main 4 with a stereotypical older sibling reader

A/N: of course!!!! i've actually gotten several reqs to do more of these so i'm gonna do the main 4!!! i hope this is what you meant :D also so sorry for this being super late i have too many drafts

stan marsh

ANOTHER SHELLY??? pray for him

his friends have seriously been getting annoyed with how much he complains about his older siblings

you don't beat him up as bad as shelly does but you do shove him out of the way and noogie him and all that. you take his hat off and make fun of his greasy hair and he gets super pissy

always angry about how you always manage to woo your parents over. how sharon treats you like an angel when you're actually an evil dick

you and shelly gang up on him all the time LOL you two plan together in your rooms about how to annoy him. like when his friends are over you constantly open the door randomly just to put him on edge

whenever he's having problems with wendy he always comes to you. you always laugh and make fun of him but you actually give really good relationship advice

despite constantly making fun of him and annoying him you actually always have his back?? when he's getting bullied or he feels scared you're always on the person's ass and ready to jump in front of him at any moment

you'd never admit it though. stan is a little shit but he's a funny evil little shit

kyle broflovski

he peeks into a room to see you playing with ike and smiling and laughing and treating him like a little angel and he compares that to how you treat him and he thinks it's unfair

what he doesn't know is that when he was a baby like ike you were constantly cooing at him and carrying him. you think you would die of embarrassment if your parents showed him pictures of you reading him bedtime stories

he thinks you HATE him. like he is 100% convinced that you are out to get him. i mean you kinda are but it's tough love yk

you hide his hat often because you know he would rather die than go to school without it. he gets all pissed and snatches it when he finds it

calls you stupid and stuff like stereotypical sibling behavior but you're really the only grown-up he can trust with issues. sheila is amazing but she has quite a temper,, you're not that great either but you always help out somehow

tattles on you when you do smth he knows ur not supposed to be. he doesn't take immense joy in being a snitch but he thinks you deserve it

eric cartman

he hates you. you're #1 on his shit-list. like seriously be careful

whines and stamps his foot when you aren't a pushover and actually make him do basic things. like how dare you be a normal human being. he hates liane too but he always clings to her when you're around

whenever you see his friends you like to embarrass him by telling them how much of a mama's boy he is. and it doesn't really work because their opinion of him can't get much lower

is constantly plotting on how to get rid of you. sometimes you find papers in his room that are either extremely complicated or super simple plans to kill you

he also tapes threatening letters to your door sometimes. you're not really scared of him, but after the incident with the tenormans, you started locking your door at night..

his friends are actually quite thankful that there's someone to keep eric in his place now. he actually acts... somewhat more normal now. it's frightening how just having an older sibling can keep him in line

although... not completely. he's still a little devil and you pick him up by his scruff like a kitten whenever you catch him plotting.

kenny mccormick

even if you occasionally lock the door on him, and tease him in his stupid little roleplay outfits, he's still quite thankful to have an elder figure in his life who can take care of him.

admittedly, it's very hard to be mean to kenny and karen, so you typically find yourself bullying kevin the most.

it's never mean-spirited though. living in a household like that requires you to stick together, and you honestly wouldn't trade your siblings for the world

you get a job pretty early to start providing for your family, and you're often forced to bring kenny and the others with you to work at your boring cashier job. kevin likes to help out with restocking while karen and kenny play dolls behind the register

you smack kenny upside the head everytime you catch him reading porno mags.

his friends either think you're awesome or think you're lame. depends on how u act and cartman probably lowkey likes you but doesn't admit it cuz ur poor😭😭

even though you're mean to him u and kenny still chill a lot together. he'll always ask about adult stuff like weed but you never entertain his goofy ideas. he might try to act more grown, but he'll always be your baby brother!!!

[slut4msby]

flower shop girl. miya osamu x fem!reader

+ tags & warnings; not proofread

+ a/n; i wrote this at 2am last night as the idea came to me as i tried to sleep so keep that in mind </3

“Just go give him some flowers Y/N it doesn’t have to be in a romantic way, just a nice neighbourly worker gesture!” Your coworker, Emi suggested.

“I’m pretty sure Osamu-san would take it the wrong way, Emi…” 

“But Osamu-san brings us onigiri all the time! So it’s not weird unless you make it weird, Y/N.”

You couldn’t deny your feelings towards Osamu have grown since you started working at the florist. It started with you going to get some lunch and wanting to try “Onigiri Miya” which was located across the road from your work. All your coworkers could only ever speak positively about Osamu’s onigiri. And after trying it you could not blame him. The onigiri was a masterpiece, it was a perfect triangular delight that fit perfectly in the palm of your hand. The outer layer was crafted from expertly seasoned sticky rice. The rice was perfect, not too dry nor too mushy. When the nori seaweed wrapping peeled back a symphony of flavours unfold. It felt as if Osamu had crafted a masterpiece with something as simple as Onigiri. 

However, it wasn’t just the onigiri that stirred something within you; it was Osamu Miya himself. Osamu was fine. More than fine to be honest, he himself was like a Greek god. His physique from his volleyball days had slightly decreased since quitting and pursuing the store, but he was still in beautiful shape. The black Onigiri Miya shirt hugged his body just right. His hair was always slightly messy when he came over to the florists from the Onigiri Miya hat. Not only was he hot, he was funny. Everytime you would see him he would crack some jokes that never failed to put a smile on your face. Not only that despite his more dead-pan face, Osamu was great with his customers. He knew them like the back of his hands, he cared, was passionate and he was funny. God, the true triple threat.

“Plus if Osamu finds it cute, maybe your little crush will go further~.” Emi teased.

You gave her a nasty side-eye in return to her snarky comment. “Okay fine, I’ll bring some flowers to Osamu-san after my shift, if that will make you shut it.” Emi’s face lit up at the comment, “BUT. There is a catch. I get to tell Osamu-san it is a gift from the store for all the onigiri he gives us. Deal?”

“Fine, deal.”

“So… Emi… What flowers do I give Osamu-san?” You say awkwardly.

“Well I would recommend tulips - pink tulips in particular if you don’t want it to be romantic. They convey good wishes, yet non-romantic love and affection. Or maybe some daffodils! To celebrate new beginnings and goo-” Emi rambled.

“Y’know what Emi? I think I’ll just make a bouquet myself…” you mumble as you walk off.

You loved Emi but god she could get on your nerves. 

You begin taking your time putting together a bouquet for Osamu. Nothing romantic, but also beautiful enough to put the wrong idea in Osamu’s head. It wasn’t supposed to be romantic, just a nice gesture. Despite your admiration for Osamu, you barely knew the guy. He could have a girlfriend or even worse a wife. And you were no home-wrecker. You had finally decided on a bouquet with pinks and whites, with pink carnations, white roses and baby's breath flowers. It was simple, effective and didn't give Osamu the wrong idea, perfect.

“Emi-chan I’m clocking out now~” You call out to your coworker.

“Don’t forget your bouquet, Y/N-san! I’m sure Osamu is going to fall head over heels for you and you two will have like the cutest romance story ever! And I Can say I planned it ALL and I better be a bridesmaid and-” 

“Yup, okay Emi.” You say giving her a weak smile and a wave as you walk out.

You crossed the road and walked into Onigiri Miya, the bell jingling as the door opened. Osamu raised his head to greet the customer who entered.

“Welcome! Ho- Oh, it’s one of the flower shop girls. What can I do for ya?” He smiled.

“Oh Osamu-san! I have a gift for you from m- us over at the flower shop because your always so nice to us and bring us onigiri and stuff and we just wanted to say thank you and-” 

He cuts you off from your awkward mess of a speech, “Thanks flower shop girl.” He said walking over to you, grabbing the flowers from your hand. “And don’t ya worry yer pretty little head about it, sweetheart.” He examined the bouquet in front of him, looking at the array of flowers. “It’s beautiful…?”

“L/N Y/N.”

“It’s beautiful, L/N-san. What flowers did ya use?” Osamu asks out of curiosity. 

“Oh well I used white roses which you can obviously see, and some baby’s breath. The pink touch is some pink carnations, my personal favourite flower! They also express gratitude and stuff… so it’s cool I guess…”

“Well I am super grateful for the gift, L/N.” Osamu smiled.

“Oh uhm… You’re welcome! I have to get going now, Osamu-san!” You say waving as you speed walk to the door. Osamu just waves in confusion in response to your awkward actions.

“God Y/N, why are you so awkward?” You silently cuss yourself out as you walk away.

Days have passed since your very awkward flower delivery to Osamu. The interaction still haunts your mind like a bad dream, that’s what you wished it was. As you care for the flowers towards the back of the door, a familiar figure walks in. Osamu Miya. Just your luck, you gave him an awkward smile before continuing your work. Osamub slowly walks over to your coworker, Maki.

“How can I help you Miya-san?” Maki asks.

“Just wondering if you have any bouquets of pink carnations?” Osamu says, looking around the store, attempting to find some.

“Oh we just got some in before, they are a popular choice at the moment. Y/N sells them quite well, they are her favourite after all.” Maki smiles.

“Well Y/N has some good taste then, they are also a personal favourite of mine.” 

“Really! I would not expect that from you Miya! You give off like jasmine vibes.” Maki laughs.

“I only recently found out what carnations are, a very pretty girl said they were her favourite and they just remind me of ‘er.”

A red blush swipes over your face at Osamu’s comment. Were you , the pretty girl? Surely not. Carnations are a common favourite flower and Osamu must know lots of pretty girls, I mean just take a look at him.

Osamu continues his chat with Maki, checking out for his bouquet of flowers. “Thanks so much Miya-san!”

However, Osamu doesn’t leave the store, his steps bring him towards you. He holds the bouquet out towards you, “here flower shop girl. Heard ya like ‘em.”

“Oh really?” You sarcastically respond.

“Yeah, a friend told me.” He jokes back, “a friend also told me I should ask you out on a date, pretty girl. So whatdya say?”

“I’d love to, Osamu.” You smile shyly.

“Tomorrow night at 7pm. Are you free?”

“For you? I guess I could make some time…” 

©slut4msby.

[starberry-cupcake]

SHORT STORY + BONUSES (read it like when gollum says bagginses) INTERMISSION!!! Today we'll take some time to dive into the Harrow bonuses and a couple of short stories, one of which I should have read before, but such is life.

previously, in the tlt universe:

I finished harrowcita del 9

Bonus 1: BoE google doc for the soldiers

differently from the other recaps, I did these while I was reading them, not when I finished reading a whole chapter/story

so maybe the thoughts are more rambly than usual

sorry about that

ANYWAY I have to give it to the BoE folks, they've got a lot to deal with over here

they're like the audience, coming into this blind

and have to try to understand how necromancers operate on the fly

'bullet to the head but don't be too confident on that' seems to be the most useful tidbit

it's like a resident evil gameplay

BoE is in resident evil, gideon is in survivor and harrow is in a gothic pulp novel

the advice for engaging lyctors is "avoid them at all costs"

I keep spelling it BoA instead of BoE because of her

blood of adam? blood of awake me up when september ends? idk

Pronounciation guide (aka I do what I want, but apparently pronounce nonagesimus like the author)

dr reverend emperor john chose the name gaius for himself, it wasn't his real name

gaius sounds like gallo, the spanish name for gallus gallus domesticus, which in english would translate to cock and alludes to the fact that he is a dick

agustine is pronounced like in english and not like in spanish (agustín), I have been pronouncing that one right but I could have called him agustín all this time

cassiopeia was a queen but we already knew that

sixth house, ceramics, cooking, checks every one of my boxes

"CRIS-ta-bell. Rather than “crees”."

what is the difference oh my god is there a difference there

pyrrah is achilles's drag name, which is cool

valancy and cyrus were like this

I'm still gonna call the mithraeum mithrandir whatnot the emperor's bolthole, it's in the sacred text

the nonniad is in dactylic enneameter, which is a ninth version of greek epics (which are hexameters) and it's making me send my ancient greek professor from uni good vibes wherever he is

Glossary

we know more about the beasts now, or have more ordered info, the gist of it is this

so the RBs are only the nine OGs from the nine planets of dominicus that the emperor fucked up

those are the ones that can go from the river to the physical world and viceversa

the other minor beasts can only exist in the river

I still think this is all the emperor's and the lyctors's fault for starting this nonsense and killing planets for power and whatnot

so yeah, Consequences of your Actions, johnny boy

the heralds, as we had established, are kind of like borg, responding to the RBs

necromancers kinda go mad at all this as if they were looking at cthulhu

I wanted to google what the two first verses of wake's name were but the first results that pop up are tlt sources and I'm not looking into that, in case of spoilers

I've already come this far without massive spoilers, I'm not gonna risk that now

what quotes would you like to have as a name if you were one of these folks?

If I could choose three, I'd probably pick: Yo tengo el corazón como la espuma / das Leben Sie nicht vergessen hat, daß es Sie in der Hand hält / Quieto en la tierra y sentir que mis pies tienen raíz

probably un monceau d’idées et un monceau de douleurs would be another contender considered

idk how that'd be shortened though, maybe espie because espuma

house quiz was book 1, boe name assignment is book 2

The Mysterious Study of Doctor [tumblr keeps blocking my post and I'm gonna try to avoid this word to see if this is it]

ANYWAY, SIXTH HOUSE TIME

from the blurb I can tell that:

1) all this time I thought Dr S was like a funny nickname someone had given palmolive for being correspondence-horny lmao

2) is this the magnus institute???

3) "Enter Palamedes Sextus and Camilla Hect, age thirteen" we're gonna look at some baby picturessss

"Every thirteen-year-old necromancer in the Sixth House is gifted."

"I was born with four kids in my generation eligible to produce children with me. Palamedes had two"

maybe that's why he went for a correspondence gf

camilla describing that's she's the best and me just going

this thing of 'being attractive' as a category would get me demoted at the sixth, though

but working in data, I can do that

I am really liking archivist zeta

there's something that was sealed for a lot of years and now is unsealed and that's very exciting!!!!

lost media!!!!

so many stairs would be a problem for me, but there's lost media at the end of the tunnel

archivist zeta: don't touch anything

palmolive: including the bone hands?

archivist zeta: the what now

apparently the hands are younger than the time the room has been sealed

with the forms being color-coded, I'm starting to think this is less magnus institute and more office of incident assessment and response 

them making references to other houses remind me that other houses socialized, seeing everything from the ninth made me feel like everyone was isolated all the time lol

add to my list of sixth house love the fact that we have murder mysteries now too

gotta love the sixth house

kinda ominous the hand bones now that we know what we know, of camilla carrying palmolive as a tamagotchi in a bone hand after harrow changed the skull

palmolive and camilla age 13 are a whole other book I would have devoured at age 13 myself btw

giving me his dark materials vibes

there was a skeleton in the air vents above the hands

camilla says she's gonna start taking measuring tape with her alongside everything else and I also can relate to going places with 25 million things, just in case

palmolive steals pens, apparently

I've used this meme for palmolive before but it still fits

the skeleton was possessed by the dr himself, he got kinda stuck on his way there after the fifth person tried to call him and got his hands into his study through skeleton shenaningans

palmolive needs to touch something in order to prove the "why" and everyone votes in favor, because he's on a roll

the cool wooden orb that was in the desk was a cool wooden puzzle, like the Karakuri Creation Group ones

man, I love those

the dr solving a puzzle after his death and coming back to prove it is me with some niche puzzles I used to have a sideblog for

don't ask me

there was paper inside and everyone got outside super fast and started congratulating each other (hello????? you did nothing????) and shaking camilla's and palmolive's hands

they don't wanna give palmolive multiple points for solving a several hundread years old mystery, which isn't fair tbh

"Don’t expire in a fit of hubris." oofffffffff

the paper had letters, which palmolive thinks are love letters

with his years of experience on pining letters

the one at the ends says "Tomorrow you will become a Lyctor and finally go where I can’t follow"

is this about cassie??? aka cassiopeia????

loved the camilla and palmolive murder mystery dinner

As Yet Unsent

this is judith's diary and this is how I imagine she looked while writing it and judging people

judith assisted the BoE with her own healing but it's kinda tough when you're also handcuffed and with your eyes covered and whatnot

judith is still in the emperor's side

I don't blame her, she hasn't met the man

yandere twin has met him and still saved him so, I can't judge judith too much

there's a corpse that isn't rotting

promising stuff

there's a commander called We Suffer

they're wearing masks and camilla is being "converted" to their cause

and she didn't even meet the man, but apparently BoE had contact with the sixth house at some point in the past

cassie?????? is this you??????? who knows

sixth house though, earning more points

also, camilla says that palmolive would want to find out what they know and, you know what, fair

I would too

camilla is also good at chess, because she's good at everything

they're playing ceiling chess like in queen's gambit

judith thinks about martita, who will soon do some awesome things next to mati nonnius

judith is also marinating the fact that everyone was fooled by the twinsies and the fact that regina george twin has no necromancy

she also complains about her being too emotional and prone to trust people

every point regina george twin makes about BoE sounds pretty solid to me tbh

the more I see, the more I think the emperor is a dick, like his name implies

judith argues with regina george twin a lot but also notices that her ears go pink when she's impassioned so...why are you noticing that judith????

how did you notice that???? *smirks knowingly*

judith has to deal with the limitations of medical care when you don't have a bunch of people who do body magic stuff

so she's dealing with recovery in a slow way and with machines plugged to her

it's hard for her because she was from the house where necros are also very able to do physical stuff

camilla is giving her strongly worded positive reinforcement

regina george twin and judith have a lot of moments that go from flirty to fighting

I can't keep using smirk reactions images so (¬‿¬)

regina george twin is also being trained to be rambo barbie and I think that suits her

"In a different time I would have found ways to apologise to Palamedes Sextus, whom I at the very least critically misjudged"

palmolive always getting the indirect compliments my goodness

he's so popular

"The princess has by turns tried to charm Camilla, play with Camilla, flirt with Camilla, and cajole Camilla. Camilla is currently unmoved"

nobody's good enough for her, regina george twin, move along

regina george twin is also being kinda aphobic towards judith's response on her being uninterested to romance camilla

I don't think judith is aro at all but that doesn't mean we have to be assholes about it, regina george twin, thank you

judith and regina george twin think BoE is wrong about necros having orgies and I'm here like

so, apparently, judith propositioned martita because she was pretty much obsessed with her

and martita said no

and she thinks camilla is holding onto tamgagotchi palmolive out of some sense of not wanting to let go of him

unaware of the fact that he's in his river loft waiting for his bones to be womanhandled by harrowcita

also, the BoE has an old ship that judith wasn't helpful with, so they don't really have much patience with her

regina george twin and judith keep flirting in that intense tlt way

I'm starting to think regina george twin has a big crush on judith and I'm here for the dynamics of that

"It said, Ugh! Then it said, Eugh!" is this mercygirl??? it sounds like mercygirl to me

and fixing someone's insides as if they were cleaning a sewing machine also sounds very mercygirl

mercygirl is also curious about this body that doesn't rot and I wanna know what it is because I want so bad for it to be gideon-related but I can't let myself hope

also, she gave them the coordinates to find harrow in the cool planet

"And Camilla said, The Warden and I know they can die like anyone else" 👀

"The corpse of the Ninth House cavalier is as pristine as when Camilla Hect convinced them to take it on board"

YESSSSSSS

YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

MY HOPES WEREN'T UNWARRANTED

LET'S GOOOOOOOOO

GIDEON ARMS INTACT BABYYYYYYYY

regina george twin proposes necro-cav marriage to judith and judith says no because no relationship here can be straightforward

"Why would I ever knowingly take Coronabeth Tridentarius’s, having desired her already for twelve long, stupid, fruitless years?!"

DRAMAAAAA

AND THAT'S IT!!!! FINALLY!!! This took me a lot longer than I wanted it too but I enjoyed the stories ♥ See you in the next one!!

[takecareluv]

omg meg baby imagine giving steve a haircut <3 he’s like so anxious at first n then he gets so so relaxed n he’s lowkey nappijg by the end and u wake him up and he’s like. hm? with the softest voice ever <3 <3

— @inkluvs (ivy)

mr. perfect hair | steve harrington x reader

word count : 777

author's note : omg it’s so funny you sent this in because i’m literally getting a hair cut tmr !! anyway. . . this is my first stevie request :3 eeek im a little nervous. i hope it's okay! <3

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

although you adored your boyfriend's infamous hair more than anyone, even you could admit he was in dire need of a trim. getting steve to agree, however, would take some serious convincing on your part. especially considering his last trip to the barber shop was, in steve's words, "scarring for life". he didn't leave the house for almost a month after the disastrous haircut without any sort of hat atop his head.

luckily for you, you had that boy wrapped around your finger — knowing exactly what it would take to get your stevie to do just about anything you asked, including giving his precious hair a little trim.

. . .

adorned in your boyfriend's favorite dress, and shoes to match, you pulled a fresh batch of your homemade chocolate chip cookies out of the oven — baked to perfection — and placed them next to a bottle of steve's preferred beer, waiting for his arrival.

as if on queue, steve walked through the doorway, smiling at the sight of you before abruptly pausing due to the sweetness that filled not only the air, but now his senses. "i know that smell. those are your bribery cookies... what are you up to?" he questioned with a suspicious but ever so loving look, preparing himself to inevitably say yes to whatever it is you were about to ask of him.

"well... you see i just made an appointment for a haircut and i was thinking maybe it's time you get one too," you smiled hesitantly, attempting to gauge his reaction.

"i don't know, baby. i don't think i can go back to that salon. they messed up big time. practically ruined me. i can't be steve 'the hair' harrington with no hair."

you rolled your eyes at his dramatics before cutting off the rest of his rant, "i'll do it for you, stevie." noticing him soften at your plea, you continued, "please let me do it for you? can't see those beautiful eyes of yours with all that hair in the way." you spoke calmly while looking up at him with your award-winning puppy dog eyes, hoping it would do the trick.

after a brief moment of silent contemplating, steve let out a loud sigh, "fine." you began to jump up and down in celebration. "but," he emphasized, "only a little bit, baby. no more than an inch, okay?"

you nodded excitedly in response.

"you promise?" steve gave a pointed look, holding his pinkie finger up towards you, waiting for your own to intertwine with his. "i promise, stevie! i'll do just enough to get off all the dead ends, that's it!"

"hey! I don't have dead ends. my hair is perfect!"

"keep telling yourself that pretty boy," you teased while ruffling his truly perfect hair.

. . .

after a few minutes of anxiousness, steve remembered it was only you doing his hair, not some stranger who didn't know the first thing about him, but you. you who probably saw his hair more than he did. you who knew exactly how he liked it styled. he knew he could trust you, he could always trust you.

as you began to gently brush through his ends, you felt him relax and even lean into your touch, letting out a long, content sigh.

knowing he was finally calm enough, you grabbed the scissors you had prepared next to you and slowly started to snip away at his hair, small pieces descending to the floor after every cut.

soon after, you were making one last snip before placing the scissors down and brushing your fingers through steve's soft strands, noticing the way your boyfriend's eyes began to flutter closed.

"feel good, stevie?"

goosebumps cover his body from your whispered words and soft touches. "yes," he hummed in response. "can you play with my hair forever, sweetheart?"

"i'm not sure about forever, but i'll try my best. do you wanna see how it looks?"

he shakes his head. "if you did it, i'm sure it's perfect." pressing a quick kiss to your temple while guiding you towards the couch. "right now i just want you to keep playing with my hair. please?" practically begging at this point, how could you say no to your sweet boy.

. . .

you remain on the couch for the rest of the night, steve's head resting on your lap while you give him all the head scratches he wants and deserves, almost lulling him right to sleep.

"i hope you know you're the only one who's allowed to cut my hair from now on, sweetheart."

you giggle. "are you sure you can afford me? i'm pretty expensive. and those head scratches are extra you know."

[kisscara]

can i req scara w a motherly s/o? like he gets a lil injured and s/o just babies him? i feel like that would be funny lmao

doctor, help me! [scaramouche x gn!reader] ⎯⎯ fluff, wanderer!scaramouche

a/n: keeping everyone safe from the angst.. for now. anyways thank u for requesting, anon :3 it's short and simple but i still hope u like it nonetheless ^__^

"kuni..." you cry out, "if you keep on doing this, i'm going to end up leaving you!"

scaramouche merely stares at you with a deadpan expression from across the dinner table. "(name), i pricked my finger on a stick." he furrows his brow and watches as you continue to dramatically throw a tantrum.

"it doesn't matter!" you continue to furiously dab a ball of cotton that's lightly wettened with alcohol against his fingertip. scaramouche draws out a tiring sigh, muttering, "sometimes, i wonder whether you're my lover or my doctor."

but he has to admit, he likes seeing you like this. distraught by his safety and running all over the place, looking for the first aid kit if he got something as simple as a paper cut. "your skin is so beautiful and your safety is my top priority, yet you get into these types of dangers on the daily!"

ah, there you go again. your endearing praise for him mixed with your tone of worry. what would he do without you? scaramouche doesn't reply this time, but it's more like he's struck with silence. with his lips slightly agape, he admires your face.

you're always telling him how pretty he looks, how soft his face is, how alluring his eyes are, but not once has he seen himself that way. scaramouche doesn't notice how a smile tugs at the corner of his lips when he sees you gnawing on your bottom lip in fixation, continuing to nurse his tiny wound.

you straighten your posture and put away the cotton ball. pressing a kiss to his finger, you gently blow on it afterwards. "there, all better. that must have been hell for you to go through!" you exclaim with a frown, tightly embracing him in your arms. scaramouche could only remain silent.

the next day, he'd gone to help the traveler with their commissions. of course, he had to go through the usual routine, with you clinging to his arm, whining his ear off to refrain from hurting himself too much. "oh, what a worrywart," he mumbles aloud, catching the attention of his traveling companion.

"is it about (name) again?" aether queries with a laugh. scaramouche gives him a side glance before loudly exhaling. "i just don't understand why they're so protective of me and my well-being. it's not like my body belongs to them, does it?"

paimon floats next to aether and while shaking her head, she says, "you're right, it doesn't belong to them. but they are your (s/o), correct?" aether looks back to scaramouche, who gazes towards sumeru's wide horizon and nods as a response.

"then it makes perfect sense! they're your (s/o) as much as you're theirs, so of course they'd want you to stay safe! right, traveler?" paimon carefully nudges aether against the shoulder and aether smiles, "do you understand now, wanderer?" scaramouche knits his brows together.

love is still such a foreign concept to him.

paimon claps her hands together for a few times, "here, i got a more simple way of explaining it! say, someone were to hurt them, physically or verbally, would you want that?" scaramouche instantly replies and faces the odd fairy while crossing his arms, "no, who do you think i am?"

paimon points out, "there it is! see, that's how (name) feels about you. with you... erm, getting into physical brawls everyday, they'd definitely feel concerned, don't you think?" scaramouche's pupils dilate in realization. is that how much you mean to him, for you to constantly baby him over the littlest things?

a pink tint arises on his face and he holds the brim of his hat, head turning the other way. "tsk, i wouldn't expect any less of them." scaramouche grows flustered when he realizes paimon giggling and aether attempting to hide his wide grin.

"(name)? i'm bac-"

scaramouche lets out a muffled noise of surprise when you rush to him, your arms immediately enveloping his torso. "i missed you..." you bury your face into his shoulder and scaramouche chuckles. "i missed you too, my dear." he tilts your chin upwards with his finger and you frown.

"did you hurt yourself?" you ask. this time, of all times, he doesn't fail to notice the way you tighten your grip on his clothes. scaramouche holds your hand against his face and sighs, "no. i tried my best not to." you beam, "really?" scaramouche kisses your fingertips one by one and he closes his eyes.

"thank you, (name), for loving and caring for me."

© kisscara

[popcornforone]

One Last Dance

A Max Phillips Fic

Day 24 of Pedrotober (Sundance Prompt)

Masterlist

Dramatic licence time. This is the one I had a hard time competing up with a concept for. I didn’t want to do more of our general, I know Joel is coming up soon so I didn’t want to do his hair, & I’ve done 3 for Dieter. So I’ve gone to our wonderful Bitey Maxie, to take thing literally.

Synopsis:- Max wants you to have vivid memories before you are turned.

Word Count:-1200

Warnings over & above:- death, fear of death, vampire lore, oral sex, ptsd, overwhelmed, swearing, blood drinking, possible manipulation but not too much.

Thanks as always for the read peoples. It’s a bit scary there’s now only a weeks to go, I can’t believe how much I’ve written. Thanks @alyssamariag & @norththelemon for the prompts as always.

When max asked you if you would like any last requests, he was thinking like a last meal or maybe a holiday with friends or if you wanted your family to know before you were turned. But instead you asked for something surreal. A Sundance.

You wanted to spend the afternoon on the night of your transformation dancing on the beach, in the midday sun. Days like this are the reason why for the last 3 years you have put off agreeing to Max turning you. You are a beach bunny & you love to swim In the sea & get tanned. But that will no longer be an option. Vampires don’t set a blaze like they do in fiction, but more than an hour without protection & precautions & they fade fast. Turning grey, needing blood, needing sleep. It’s not a nice sight. So this is your last day to enjoy being mortal, & going to the beach is how you want to spend it.

You were shocked when you saw Max ready & waiting for you that morning by the front door of your house with a bag full of stuff.

“Omg Maxie” you say excitedly.

“Only the best for my bride” he giggles “I got you a bucket & spade, a water pistol, a picnic with garlic dip” you both laugh”& I got you a new sun hat” you laugh as he hands it to you. It reads “it’s burning hot”

“Oooh Max thank you baby” you hug him & go to grab the car keys, but he’s holding them. “Max?”

“I’m coming too”

You look in shock.

“You can’t”

“Yes I can” he then reaches up & puts on a huge grey coat & a huge sun hat. Once you thought people only wore to look funny.

“Your gonna die wear that or not wearing that.” You exclaime trying to protect him. It’s such a thick padded coat.

“Not when the left side is filled with blood & the right side is filled with our vampiric supplements”

“It’s padded with that?”

“Yep I’ve thought of everything” you leap into his arms & he holds you as you wrap your legs around him. He’s got a beard today, he says he will be clean shaven on the day you awaken from your transformations.

“Oooh Maxie” you give him a deep seductive kiss & he smacks your bum. You smirk.”we could stay here all day & have sex” you lick your lips & look deeply in his eyes.

“Nah, we have eternity to do that, this is your last mortal day, my bride gets what she wants”

You sit on your bed at 7pm flicking through the photos that Max took of you on the beach today. You look so carefree & happy. He sat in a coffee shop making sure he had the perfect view so he didn’t get to hit. You then skip to a video of you & 3 others listening to some loud drum & bass music on the beach. You’re in your swim suit & coverall, dancing away, singing your heart out, as the sun gives you a glorious glow. You smile & start to well up, it suddenly hits that this will never happen again to you. Max had always said that if you have a choice to turn on the day, you will always second guess it. It’s almost like he knew this would set you off because as soon as your eyes sting a comforting hand caresses your shoulder.

“Still not too late my love” he says, that large hand a comfort that you grip to. You turn your head & look up, a single tear drops.

“Max I want to be with you, I want to be your vampire bride, we’ve been through this hundreds of times over the years, if we don’t do it now I’ll never do it”

“You have a choice, I didn’t, I don’t want you to do something that will make you sad” he sounds soft & genuine as he sits next to you wrapping his arms around you.

“I know Max, but I don’t want to get it wrong”

“The transformation?”

“No!” You say firmly. “If I stayed mortal, I’d be a huge target, I’d be open season, & it would kill me to know that I could have a life with you, but you wouldn’t get immortality with me” you hug him & he kisses your forehead.

“Damn, even now your still trying to comfort me, I can’t believe your more worried about that than anything else”

“I love you Max, I’ve made you wait long enough” you stroke his curls & beard. Yes his hair has grown too. “Also I need to be turned, I can’t deal with this hair & beard anymore” you giggile & give him a small peck on his lips.

“What if I like my hair like this?”

“Maxie, you kept pushing it out of your eyes earlier”

“But it’s a …”

“No Max” he then pushes you into the mattress & spreads your legs. God he’s a strong vampire.

“You’re saying you don’t want to run your hands through these luscious locks once more while I lick your pussy one last time as a mortal” you smirk.

“Well when you put it like that…” your panties are down under your dress in seconds flung across the room as Max licks a long stripe across your entrance to your clit.

“I’m gonna miss tasting this for 3 weeks…”

You sleep. Unaware you are asleep. Unaware you are dead. Unaware of the days passing. The last thing you saw before you were injected with the venom was Max kissing the back of your hand wishing you the soundests of sleep & devoting his immortal life to yours.

“AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

You jolt up right & realise your lying sat up in bed. You clutch yourself. You feel like you. Had it been a weird dream? what was going on? Where were you? Your eyes readjust to the light. You hiss. You’re in his basement as promised. His coffin empty. Your blink readjusting & then realise where the light is coming from. The tv. It’s showing on loop you on the beach on your last day as a mortal. You hear the sound of the sea, the laughing & the light & you smile. Your eyes almost completely working. That’s when you realise you’re not breathing, & you start to shaking suddenly feeling cold. But something less cold holds your hand quickly as you silently panic.

“Hey hey hey baby” Max whispers “I’m here, I’m here, it worked, your with me now, your safe”

“I’m dead?”

“Oooh far from it” he giggles kissing your cheek. You can’t help but smile. Your hand caresses his face. Clean shaven, no curls, he did as he promised.

“How long have I been out”

“16 days, you started to fidget on day 13, so we knew you’d be awake soon & that the transformation was a success”

“Any issues?” Max had told you there could be issues with your transformation & that 25% end in death.

“Just the one”

“Oooh what is it Max?”

He chuckles & your red eyes lock with his.

“I’ve not been able to fuck my vampire bride for 16 days”

[ashs-cardboard-box]

The deer

~ Arthur Morgan/GN!Reader

~ Familial

~ 700 words

PAINFUL angst </3 + spoilers

....................................................................................................

A fawn– a baby buck, more precisely. Freshly born in a world surrounded by demons and the Devil himself. Arthur Morgan. A boy whom Dutch and Hosea had collected off the streets not too long ago now, it seems.

A defensive fawn, posing as a wolf for the sake of survival. Hardly able to pull away from the jaws of life; eager to bite down on the baby struggling to get away. Hands shaking and heart pounding as the boy takes his first shot. Not even a man before life gives him the worst of the worst.

It felt like you’d raised that boy. From a fragile fawn to a strong buck. Each breakdown– each shed of his antlers– each fire of his gun...you were there. Supporting him each and every step of the way.

Though time and time again, the crushing jaws would yearn to bite down just one more time. Get one more score in on the buck. One more scar for him to speak on. One more breath of air as he manages to escape just one more time.

Until, inevitably, his luck runs out. You felt sick– more than that– at the prospect of that buck, that fawn, your boy, getting taken from you. All because of one job. One you told yourself you should’ve done yourself.

Arthur had avoided telling you; he knew the type of person you were. Yet, he couldn’t hide it forever. The coughing, the blood, the dark circles and the scary weight loss. The ashen skin, the wheezing, the fatigue; you found out. Strauss didn’t leave camp without a few missing teeth and a couple dozen indents from your rings.

“You’re a goddamn fool,” he’d scold. But you didn’t care. To you, he deserved it. Strauss deserved worse for shoving that fawn back into the sharp teeth that is life. You deserved worse for being unable to stop it, so you felt.

Time has a funny way of flying without you even noticing. One minute, you’re beating Arthur upside the head for trying to steal your guns before he’s ready. The next, you’re nearly having to carry him up the mountain amidst the gunfire from Satan and his armies. Arthur’s labored breathing right in your ear as you guide him to follow after John.

It all feels so far away. The only thing you can feel is Arthur’s weak body against yours. The sweat on his skin and the condensation of his breath on your neck. Bullets zipping past the three of you, narrowly missing you by a hair of an inch.

The sound of your blood rushing in your ears is all you can focus on as you watch Arthur force his hat on John’s head and his satchel into his hands. He wasn’t taking no as an answer. He pulls the two of you into the tightest hug he could muster, before shoving his only remaining family in the opposite direction of life’s threats.

“Go. Now.” He’d rasp. “It would mean a lot to me.” John takes his words with great reluctance, before forcing his legs to move and he heads back down the mountain to his family. You, however, much to Arthur’s dismay, are more hard-headed than that. The fawn playing the defensive wolf once again.

Firing shot after shot until your gun belt runs dry and your barrel is hot to the touch. Two on two, it seems. Isn’t that ironic. The man who’d taken all of you in, playing God with the embodiment of the Devil. His servants left scrambling and lost.

You defended that fawn with all you had. Narrowly escaping being tossed down the mountainside, cradling one of your more severe wounds. You watch as Dutch heads further up, whereas Micah turns the opposite direction.

Gasping. Writhing. Arthur moves. Crawling to a more secluded spot away from the first glances of any Pinkertons still lingering. You have half a mind to hunt those two down yourself, yet, the scraping of fabric on rock draws your attention back to Arthur.

Not a word is shared between the two of you as you sit next to him.Your hand on his chest, and his gloved hand on yours. Feeling each painful inhale, each wheezing cough, each weak beat of his straining heart..until he doesn’t.

The fawn– the baby buck, more precisely, draws his final breath under the orange glow of the rising sun. Well known gunslinger, your brother, Arthur Morgan, finally put to rest. His body facing to the east just like he’d asked. The veil of defense long fallen off, showing the fawn’s white spots. Innocence yet to be torn off by the jaws known as life.

....................................................................................................

HAIIII !!! I'm back :33

kinda a splurge post tbh. Prolly gonna write a low honor version later

WORKING ON REQUESTS RN !!! just had to get this out rq lolz

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 10 thoughts

(muffled crying) (sniffing) (conspicuous wiping of eyes) hey guys, welcome back to my liveblog

little did i know! little did past me know what i was getting into when i typed my opening lines below. but presumably YOU, the reader of this post, knew what i was signing up for, so i shall spare my words and just share that i thought it was a VERY VERY good episode, even if it was darker than my usual preference. i tend to like some bantering, but i don't see how bantering could have fit into this one. so let us begin.

i haven’t seen an episode in a few days, which probably explains why this week has been awful. i would wax poetic about how i have missed our agents, but i honestly cannot wait any longer and Need to watch this episode right now. which i think is an emotional one???

(author's note: yeah <3)

i need to TEAR into this, bro. like a bear in a trash can or something.

reading the episode description and this sounds evilllll!!! i still assume everything about samantha is a lie!! it saves time!!

mulder is sleeping… on a BED?? a proper bed?? i can’t tell. it’s so dark. if it is a bed, this is IMMENSE character development.

he sees a red light in the sky :0 and on his walls!! it says “follow” WHAT!!! what does that mean!??

it’s leading him to a car?? wait, he’s at a park? was he camping and that’s why he had a bed? why was he camping? who lured him out here with a laser like a cat… what does “mad hat” mean in this context?

and he is full on chasing this light. i love that for him. the music is super whimsical.

WHAT IS LESS WHIMSICAL is the body of a child sitting in this forest. what the HELL????

okay, tone change, i see you!

but the child sinks into the leaves??

oh girl. they really got me with the whole “it was all a dream" thing, and I FELL FOR THAT!!!

he is actually just sleeping on his COUCH, which i knew had to be the case, because he would NOT use a bed in his apartment. beds are a luxury you only get to experience in motels if your name is fox mulder.

damn, maybe that's why he likes to travel so much... cozy hotel bed... really makes you think

nooo he had a nightmare :( this is sad. he never seems to actually sleep.

he’s gonna find that park he dreamed of and drive there even if it is the middle of the night. in his leather jacket. yes. he means business!!

and he is going to the spot where he saw a body of a child… where now he sees…. dirt 

so the next morning, he’s directing people who are digging stuff up. they look like police

ENTER SCULLY!!!! YAYYYYY :D i cheered!!! she wants to know what’s going on 

“you called for forensic excavation at 5 am on a sunday, what are you looking for?” (he grabs her arm, looking delirious) <- ohhhh i knew after seeing this moment that this episode was gonna wreck me

he asks her to give him a minute, and when she’s all “you’re out here because of something you saw in a dream?” he gives her this look of “it’s not that simple and you KNOW that”. funny how you can say that with just a look.

but someone calls him over!!! NO! there is the skull of a child in there!!!

omfggggg

wait, we literally haven’t even gotten past the intro yet, and i’m already sat at the edge of my seat…………

we are sooooo back, baby!!!

hey, that intro was different from the standard too, i think. but whatever.

scully is deeply confused, asking to hear about his dream. the forensic investigators are digging, but he is implying they aren’t going fast enough… so he’s digging with HIS HANDS!!!! 

oh, he is gonna mess some evidence up this way…

but he insists he knows what happened. 

he describes the murder in great detail, and scully asks, you learned all of this from your dream? and he says no, i have this murderer’s MO memorized; it’s a guy named john lee roche.

so it is the power of careful study AND prophetic dreams at work that make mulder such a good investigator

it seems deeply wrong to see mulder in their office with only a t shirt on and not his fancy suits, but it is the weekend, and desperate times. this serial killer- roche- was very hard to catch back in the day. at the FBI, he was nicknamed “paper hearts” because of the heart trophies he took from the victims… oh… i see where this is going. the title is making sense now.

mulder was brought onto the case because he was thought to be able to get into the victim’s head……. omg… his reputation…. and he concluded the killer had to be someone ordinary who traveled a lot, like a salesman. and he was!!! roche was a vacuum salesman!! 

(do we still even have those?)

scully points out that it was his profile that caught the bastard, and he just shrugs his shoulders. i would expect him to normally be more “yeah, i did that!!”, but it seems this one is very personal to him. not much to celebrate if you only caught the guy after the horrific murders happened.

he says they never found the hearts cut from the cloth, and he always wanted to count them and see if they really added up to 13. after this, he realizes that there were more than 13. this is really sad.

scully says maybe she can explain his dream!!! and maybe he solved it in his sleep when his subconscious took over! oh, she is a good friend

“you said it yourself once… you said a dream is an answer to a question we haven’t learned how to ask” <- YES he said that in 2x12, right? i always thought it was so poetic, and the fact that it was never mentioned again bothered me a little- BUT SHE REMEMBERED!!!

she’s telling him that he did good work, and they can identify the girl and put her to rest, and what if i cry about the way she leaned in to reassure him?? hey. what if i cry?

it’s time to look at some bones. scully seems to have found an identity pretty quick; her name was addie, and she went missing in 1975. 

but mulder pushes back, saying that if that were true, it would mean roche started way before they thought he did. scully points out that the clothes and height match.

oh my god…. the way he’s looking at the bones, and she asks if he’s gonna be okay if they verify it… he shakes his head yes, but it seems hollow. she is trying to be so careful around him. it's making me emotional.

so, they go off to pennsylvania to try and make an ID with addie's relatives. scully does the talking, presumably because mulder is going through a Lot Of Feelings, and the minute they say they’re with the FBI, the dude who answered the door asked “you found addie?” ohhhhh :( 

he immediately identifies the fabric pouch they found with the bones as made for addie... he used to slip quarters in it from the tooth fairy

bro, this episode is sad as hell.

“i used to think that missing was worse than dead because you never knew what happened” (cut to mulder) (cut to him looking at the portrait of addie on the wall) i’m gonna scream re: the implications about samantha

addie’s father asks if there were other victims they didn’t know about, and mulder looks very very very sad. i can sense him feeling that he needs to solve this, and that he’s gonna think he failed for not finding the others before. yes, i know where this is going 

all of a sudden, he remembers from his dream that the killer drove a white el camino, and he probably kept the hearts in there. the car was sold in 1992. that was a while ago. i am feeling some doubts in terms of them still being in there.

“don’t you think the car might have been searched at least once already?” “not by me” <- DAMN!!! oh my god. his sense of duty. that ancient and primal Guilt in him. yeah yeah, i’m eating this up 

they go to visit the car, where a young gentleman has been putting flames on the side. he seems giddy to hear a serial killer once owned his car. which i feel is valuable commentary on the commodification of the true crime industry and how it dehumanizes the suffering of the victims through sensationalism. but mulder is not gonna listen to him blabber, he is gonna get to WORK.

(man, i wonder how these two feel about the rise of true crime as an entertainment industry... i want to hear their thoughts)

they are sleuthing together. mulder takes a knife and cuts right into the seat!!!! he says something is wrong…. and remembers the “mad hat” clue…. he thinks this means it’s in the camper shell??? i fail to see the connection but that is okay, it wasn't my dream

mulder’s acting like a madman, ripping into the fabric of the camper shell, where he finds a copy of alice in wonderland…. WITH A HEART IN IT.

they are leaned in together, counting the hearts, and it would be an incredibly touching moment if it weren’t in such a sad context.

they find 16 hearts :( and he sadly says that means he had two more victims they didn't know about :(

they’re going to go visit roche. or not? someone is playing basketball. 

OH. they’re letting this serial killer, who casually addresses him with a "hey mulder", play basketball?? by himself? that can’t even be fun…

they ask roche why he only claimed there were 13 victims. he said 13 sounded more magical. why is this dude at once so Normal seeming and viscerally scary?

oh… “i understand you take this very personally, mulder” oh no. oh no oh no oh no.

“sink one from there and i’ll tell you” (very high pressure basketball shot that mulder makes on the first try) well okay!!! an athlete!

roche says that if he brings the hearts back, he’ll tell him everything, which was not part of the deal. i am of the opinion that he should not get to see the hearts again, and that if he does, it will be very inappropriate.

oh my god. mulder’s at his desk with the hearts, all organized by name, falling asleep with his glasses on as he holds the last two. he can't even stay awake, he's working so hard to figure this out.

another red light moment!! it is guiding him places…. a dream??

NO!!! NO. it’s leading him to the news of watergate. oh no. i know where this is going.

he sees samantha, and he’s quoting what he said back then when The Incident went down, line for line, because he must have rewatched it a thousand times

we relive the scene, including the flashes of lights. he grabs the gun. this time, and opens the door…. and it’s… roche…?

(well, if it is really him behind the crime, how did he do the whole shaking everything and making stuff float bit? really makes you wonder. because i recall samantha's body floating horizontally for a bit)

but back to real world, where mulder wakes up screaming “samantha!” and again. i WILL cry. oh my god…. there’s a terrible realization in his face as he holds the hearts up.

no, no, no, stop making him suffer.

back to the prison. mulder is without scully this time, but with roche, who asks if he has the hearts. 

mulder is questioning him about the weird comments yesterday, the whole "it's personal to you thing", then jumps right into “where were you in 1973?” and holy FUCK it’s tense.

“what, the whole year?” “november. the 27th of november. do you know what i’m getting at?” oh my god….

roche claims to have sold a vacuum cleaner in martha’s vineyard to mr. mulder at that time…. 

he’s going on and on about his father choosing the vacuum. and mulder’s face is so steely. but when he asks “what do you know about my sister?”, his voice is wavering.

again, roche insists that he brings him the hearts before he learns anything. which causes mulder to punch the shit out of him.

when the guards come in and roche snitches on mulder for punching him, the guard is like “i didn’t see it” which is deserved. more than deserved, actually.

but scully saw it go down!!! i thought he went on his own… guess she was outside watching

she is trying to talk sense into him post-prisoner punching, which has happened a few times now and makes me worry about mulder's employability if anyone knew he had a tendency to get physical with these villains, but i digress.

scully is explaining that roche can use the computer to look up anything he likes and find out where mulder’s from (it’s true! be careful what you post, guys!) and she thinks that he is using emotional blackmail. she thinks roche saw mulder’s heart on his sleeve and took advantage of that.

it would make sense that if he knows that he will spend the rest of his life in prison, he would torture mulder for funsies...

“scully, do you believe that my sister samantha was abducted by aliens?” oh my god we’re going there. i never thought we would go there.

“have you ever believed that?” she doesn’t answer, but she hangs her head… because what do you even say to that?

“no. so what do you think happened to her?” 

he doesn’t know what he believes, but he has to find out… and that shot of scully’s face…… please kill me, it would be easier for all involved :(

in connecticut, mulder is at… his mom’s house? looking in the basement. did he just show up?

he apologizes twice for waking her up and asks how she is doing :( awww :( he was so worried :( oh this grown man… he is a baby to me….

so he pulls out the fabric hearts and asks if she recognizes them. and when she gets confused and tries to explain her memory isn’t as good after the stroke, he smiles, and hugs her, pats her back, says it’s alright.

OHHHHHH THE WAY HE HUGGED HER AND SMILED................. I WILL YELL. I AM YELLING NOW. AHHHH.

anyway. he falls back on a different line of thinking to try and get answers out of his mother: did dad ever buy you a vacuum cleaner? the answer: yes, he did, a long time ago, and it’s down here. he’s tearing through old decorations to find it, and it is the brand that roche claimed it was. he slams his fist down.

now hold on. i’m willing to bet he just named the most popular vacuum of the early 1970’s. because they’ve put too much work into this whole “samantha was taken by aliens or the government” storyline to debunk it entirely. what about her files in the west virginia archive? what about his father choosing which child he liked better? what about the whole “they took her as insurance so mr. mulder wouldn’t snitch on the cataloguing of humans and planning for alien colonization” thing? too much has been invested in this…. i think it can’t be true, but rather we’re exploring mulder’s emotional state with this sick and twisted excuse 

skinner has summoned mulder!!! he is no longer allowed to work on the roche case because he punched tf out of him!!! mulder turns to scully with suspicion and skinner clarifies that she wasn’t the one who reported it (although she should have) but rather the whole thing was videotaped!!!

if i've said it once i've said it a million times: she's real as hell

skinner says that he should have mulder’s ass in a sling (okay, elaborate on that), but he tries to explain that roche might have information on his sister. scully says that it looks possible- he spent most of 1973 in boston, took a trip to martha’s vineyard in october… and it’s adding up.

she loves to do her research. i know she was an academic weapon in college.

skinner says this is even MORE of a reason to get someone else on this case, but scully says that no one knows roche better than mulder, it’s still his case, and we have to find the victims!!!

(angry skinner voice) (forcefully pointed finger at groveling mulder) "you tread very lightly" (forcefully pointed finger at scully) "you see that he does"

he basically said “watch your man, scully, or ELSE”

back to roche. they present to him the hearts, and he has a sick smile. i do not like this

“name them” “well, i think you know one of them already” oh that is evil

(said with the most fury that has ever been concentrated into scully’s voice per word) “prove it” <- she is not gonna let him do this alone, nor will she let him be manipulated!!! she is the best friend out there!!

roche is smiling, talking about watergate, how mulder and his sister were playing a board game that night. he says he was watching from the window. why does he know all of this?

he has this weird fixation on playing games, and says to pick out a piece of fabric, and he’ll give the location of the body it came from. fifty-fifty chance it’s samantha, and either way he gets a victim’s location.

what is up with this dude? why is he so casual about all of this? he does seem so… normal, despite the things he is saying.

at the location roche gives them, they find the words “mad hatter” carved into the rock. uh oh. that is showing up again. he starts digging with his hands.

scully is trying to talk sense into him, saying they need to get an excavation team, but his voice is strained as he tells her to “just help me, scully”. so she joins in, and they find something. he looks like a wild animal.

in the autopsy room, he’s approaching the bones, taking a deep breath as he goes over the case information, trying to prepare himself to see his sister.

there are visible tears in his eyes as he runs his hands over the fabric, then announces (in form of a question) that “it’s not her, is it scully?” there is a sense of relief involved, but still, pain from lack of answers.

samantha broke her collarbone when she was 6 on a rope swing in their backyard, and as he realizes this little girl's collarbone is intact, he’s crying and he’s sighing with relief.

“it’s not her”, she says; “it’s somebody though” is his reply. ohhhh my god. ohhhhhh my god. oh my goooooooood. it's somebody's grief that they have carried with them for decades just as he has. it isn't that much of a relief to know it isn't her if someone else has felt like he has since the 70's.

back to roche. he gives the name of the girl who they did find, with incredible detail on where she lived. scully’s voice is forced as she asks what year this happened, and he’s going on and on about the vacuum he almost sold the victim’s mother.

so mulder presents roche with the last heart, saying that is belonged to his sister. he’s making a big game of this, saying “you need me to lead you through”, to bring him to the place where his sister is buried. to which i think, no tf you don't.

he said he can’t wait to see mulder’s face, and you can hear scully exhale and say “oh god”, and that is how you know things are going to go DOWN.

she says he will see the inside of his cell instead; “you’re going to rot there” (holds the door for mulder) (all things considered, she showed excellent restraint)

she looks incredibly furious at these shenanigans, but softens up to ask if mulder is okay. she says that if they give roche what he wants, he could string them along forever. and it makes sense. there has to be another way to figure out if he is telling the truth.

back at home on his couch, mulder is pondering. he has a few fish in his tank. you need a bigger tank, i think, but idk if people cared about that in the 90's.

NO! he picks up the phone and calls for A REMOVAL ORDER OF A FEDERAL PRISONER!!!!!!!!

he gets on the plane with a handcuffed roche.

what the fuck, i thought we were NOT going to go down this route? what is he thinking?

roche asks to use the bathroom on the plane, but instead starts talking to a little girl, and mulder has to get there NOW, but there’s a stewardess in the way. oh no, what has he done...

scully is forced to tell skinner that mulder did, in fact, let the serial killer out. OH!!! skinner says “you let me down” to her…… oh my god……. that really hurts

she says that she had left mulder to his own devices for one day to get some sleep… do we believe her? honestly, yeah i do. especially because of how furious she became when roche brought up the idea that he could be let out.

she’s trying to advocate for mulder in his absence, talking about the “uniqueness” of the situation with a level voice, and skinner says yeah i know, i said that this situation was really unique the last time we talked, now let’s go and clean up this mess.

oooo skinner is MAD and i don't really blame his anger at mulder, but it's rude af to blame scully for the things mulder did... skinner confirmed anti-feminist, blaming a woman for a man's actions

(i jest. mostly. skinner and i still have beef and we probably always will. every time i think we're past it, he does something else that pisses me off, so we are constantly on uncertain ground. which is very father coded, all things considered)

cut to mulder cam, who is bringing roche to his old house?? roche is unsettlingly tall. he says he sat on the couch when his dad bought the vacuum… and then walks through what he claims happened the night of the murder. mulder’s thoroughly quizzing him, and he’s answering them correctly, even where his parents went once they left. or is he guessing at it all??

he claims to have cut the power, that the door was unlocked, and he walked in…. 

and mulder tried to get the gun, but he claims he froze… 

OH! GAG!!!!!! MULDER BROUGHT HIM TO THE WRONG HOUSE!!!!!!!!!

he says his father bought this house AFTER the divorce… dude, how many properties did this guy own??????

but still. the point is made clear. roche is a fake.

so how did he know these things? perhaps, mulder proposes, that when he got into his head investigating the case, maybe that link goes both ways. that's a terrifying prospect

“and you’re in the wrong house, you stupid son of a bitch” <- this is a powerful line, but you can really hear the massachusetts come out when he says it. i think that’s really cool. i mean, is DD actually from there? i think he is, right? because he went to school with jfk jr. famous boston blood there.

if it’s not a purposeful detail or a inadvertent thing that slips into an actor’s performance when a scene is Emotional, then maybe i need verification: did y’all hear the massachusetts when he said that, too….

roche is scrambling to cover his tracks, saying it was just geography that he messed up, not the actual details, but he has now been exposed as a FAKE and a FRAUD

mulder doesn’t buy it, despite his claims he’s telling the god’s honest truth. hmm. perhaps leave the lord out of this.

then he’s sitting and holding that cloth heart. we hear his sister’s voice in the car, which is pulling away. and he grabs her, holds her close. 

BUT HE WAKES UP AND ROCHE IS GONE AND HE IS HANDCUFFED!!! scully and skinner are at the door!!! roche must have manipulated him in his sleep?

omg…….. 

skinner is letting him have it, saying there’s a predator loose because of him, and how can he explain himself, and. while i agree. if i were in his shoes and there were any chance of getting an answer to the one question that has kept me up at night almost my whole life, i’m not sure if i wouldn't have fallen for roche’s lies as well. it is hard to imagine. i'd like to think i wouldn't, but how can you ever know?

it is a dark and ugly thing that mulder did, letting him out.

but we at least seem to get confirmation that the dream connection theory is accurate?

he asks for skinner’s phone, saying there was a child on the plane, and roche is probably going after her

NO! someone called ten minutes ago with the same name requesting the same information from the airline!!!! 

it seems that the girl’s babysitter believed roche’s lies that her mother was in an accident and he needed to pick her up, and she blames herself for letting her go with roche. but mulder says it isn’t her fault, and it’s his fault instead. 

oh my god…. he tells scully she was right, and when she asks if he no longer thinks roche took samantha, he says it doesn’t matter anymore………. because that grief that has ruled him forever has now been put onto someone else............. how terrible he must feel...

he thinks that roche will be somewhere nearby, and scully is pulling up his old address. he lived on alice road, and mulder says that has to be it, because he got the idea from alice in wonderland!

(i have never read the actual alice in wonderland book. did the mad hatter kill people and take hearts from their clothing? i thought he just. made tea and said weird stuff???)

skinner is in disbelief, but acquiesces to mulder’s knowledge, rounding up his men.

at the apartment, they can’t find anything. mulder is running in a field, climbing into a huge lot of busses??? old run down busses??? i'm confused at why this exists, but following along in terms of plot

he pulls out a tiny gun hidden in his sock (slay) and sprints towards the sound of a girl screaming, but with so many identical busses, where is she???

he hears some movement in one of them…. and finds roche and her in there together. 

and roche is saying that he does think they share that nexus like he claimed. everything is very very tense. 

mulder announces that he is going to take this girl home, and when roche points out that he has a gun, he asks the child to do a favor: count to twenty out loud, quietly and slowly. he has a way of talking to kids like they’re equals and i’ve always found it endearing, but now i’m wondering where tf he is going with this.

roche has the gun pointed at the girl… and we know he is capable of pulling it

roche is trying to say anything he can to get mulder to not kill him, asking how sure he is it isn’t samantha who was the last victim. but i don't think that is gonna work anymore.

and when the kid hits twenty, mulder pulls the trigger

JEEZ, we really saw some blood action go on there!

so the poor girl runs away screaming to scully, who is saying that it is okay, and that she has her (and i am emotional when ever they work with kids okay? especially after that convo in home where they talk about wanting families. whatever.)

and i’m left paused at roche’s dead head, which i feel in real life would have a lot more blood and gore, but for the sake of this being TV, it still is kinda shocking!

mulder’s holding the gun out, staring at roche’s body.

wait. we’re back at his office now. i am going to use this time to analyze the articles on his wall.

“strange activity down under” “are UFOs flying in colorado?” “ranchers shaking their heads over mysterious cow deaths” “US reports visits of UFOs to bases” (picture of crop circles, creepy creatures, a list of planets i think? and the famous poster)

pan to a very very sad mulder. scully knocks and comes in. she is staring at him. they are not saying anything for a few seconds that feel very very long.

oh my god. she comes in with the fabric analysis of the heart. all they can say is that it was made between 1969 and 1974.

she assures him it’s not samantha, and that they’ll find who the little girl really is. 

“how?” “i don’t know. but i do know you.” (he looks up at her while fighting back tears) <- i am going to bite something. her unwavering belief in him will be the death of me.

“why don’t you go on home and get some sleep?” she asks, so gently (at this, he breaks into laughter, which gets a smile out of her)

and he wraps his hand around her waist, leaning his head into her, while she strokes his hair

then he puts the last heart in his desk drawer.

oh my gosh………

where to even begin....?

first thought: he must be laughing at her saying that because she knows damn well that he will not be able to rest, but also because it is comforting to hear how she believes in him. that, or “go on home and get some rest” is their code for “i’m letting you do what you want and not asking questions”, but i doubt that, because she claims to have said that to him earlier, and i feel scully would never EVER have let him release roche if she had known he was even sort of thinking about it.

second: yowch. this one hurted!

it took me an hour and 51 minutes to get through the 45-ish minute episode because i was SO glued to noting every moment. 

i tend to prefer the episodes that are more lighthearted, so i did feel that absence here. that being said, i don’t think it would be possible to explore this side of mulder with there being humor in the plot or script, especially after we have seen how he uses it as a defense mechanism. when he can’t joke about something is when you know he’s hurting terribly. 

it was dark. very dark. but i still enjoyed it for the character analysis. i love a character analysis episode, i love diving into what makes someone who they are. there was this sick relationship between roche and mulder where you knew he was going to do anything to get the answers, no matter what the risks were or who was placed in danger. and i think that shows the scary and dark side of mulder that can get overlooked; how his bloodhound-like need to sniff out an answer can and will endanger himself and others. but he is aware of this fact, and seems regretful, especially when he says it doesn’t matter anymore if he finds samantha, because he inadvertently put another child in danger to do so. and he is aware that the suffering he has felt is now going to be passed onto someone else if he does not fix it Right Away. which he does.

getting to see the good parts of a character driven to such an extreme where they become terrible traits is a rare treat. still, it can be hard to see your blorbo do bad things.

i do often wonder about his slapping of criminals and why he hasn’t gotten fired for some of these many rule-breaking sessions, but. shrugs. it’s not real, so we can’t entirely place real world logic on this stuff, i guess.

honestly, we also saw a lot of scully and learned about her character here, too. how she tries to draw the line between her own beliefs and the very real pain that mulder is suffering, and how his pain breaks her heart; how defensive she is of him, in front of roche and skinner or even the whole world, i’d imagine. her courage to look her boss in the eye and ask for mercy on his behalf as he goes out and breaks every rule known to mankind because he wants to bend the earth to his will. that bone-deep righteous conviction she carries with her that i love so much.

and more on how she’s always touching him- they skirt around the emotional issues at hand, asking if he’s okay to make an ID or to see the autopsy and not really touching the sore spot with words unless they absolutely have to. but while they only brush it verbally, she is physically reaching out to him, leaning in, stroking his head, touching his arm… god, the way they communicate kills me. it's like they find it far easier to let their bodies express emotion, which probably comes from the constant need to Be Strong both of them feel in their line of work, but it is really compelling. it's fascinating. as someone who is always going to tell you how i feel at all times, i find it very intriguing. are they afraid to say what they mean? or do they have this connection that words aren't needed for? please let me know what you think. am i alone in this? do you think they are good at talking about their feelings? or am i voicing a popular sentiment that they are mostly pretty Bad at it. because i'm thinking of other times where they are Honest and Truthful, and they tend to keep it very succinct. maybe that's what makes it more impactful.

how he laughed at her after she said she believed in him, and how she smiled back, how he leaned into her????? can i bottle that and drink it when i feel like suffering?

god, i’ve felt that when i read dialogue prompts, they don’t seem to work for writing msr as easily as you would think, because so much of what they say isn’t even said. it’s in glances and touches and leans, and the words tend to be sparse but truthful when they matter and witty and prolonged when it’s nothing of importance. what a strange balance they have. shoutout to people who write msr, because it seems very hard to do when you want to write a genuine tale of them getting up to emotional activities.

overall, i liked this episode, but it was still a bummer. s4 is full of bummers, so far. i have not giggled in a while. i would like to giggle at some point in the future. perhaps that is something we can work toward. i once again request a fic where they go to an apple orchard. perhaps i shall end all of my posts with that, at least until we get some levity back to the game. that being SAID, it was still excellent.

let me know what you think- does everyone agree that this is a good episode? did you feel sad? did you think it was Too Dark? any criticism? any high praise? and the big one that is nagging at me now: how tf do you understand the way they communicate? can it be conceptualized?? please share with me all of your thoughts in as much detail as you can spare.

[archangeldyke-all]

This is a little self indulgent so feel free to ignore! But I have been dealing with pretty severe hair loss due to a chronic illness and have been feeling really sad and unloveable and embarrassed about it lately, esp because I used to have really thick and luscious hair. I think it would be so healing to read something about Sevika comforting and loving a reader who is dealing with hair loss hahahaha or you could even just generally do something about a reader struggling with body changes due to chronic illness??? Whatever you want! Thank you so much love you <3

this whole blog is self-indulgent central babe!! also, i love you too, i'm so sorry you're going through this, chronic illness sucks so much fucking ass, i hope this can make you feel just a bit better <333

men and minors dni

she catches you in the bathroom, staring sadly down at the sink.

"babe?" she asks.

"i lost more hair." you say, sad and quiet. you lift up the clump of hair in the sink that came out when you tried to brush this morning for her to see.

sevika's heart breaks.

not because of your hair. she doesn't really give a shit about it. sure, you've got great hair, but sevika'd still love you if you were bald, or if you grew needles out of your scalp instead of your soft strands. no, her heart breaks because she knows how much you care about it, and how sad you get each time your chronic illness takes more of it from you.

"fuck, baby." she mumbles, racing to wrap you up in a hug. you slump against her, silently crying into her chest. "i'm sorry, honey." she whispers against your scalp, pressing kisses to your head.

"i just-- i feel so fuckin' ugly." you mumble.

sevika gasps, and steps away from you, both of her strong hands on your shoulders. she almost shakes you as she speaks, a glare in her eyes. "don't fucking say that." she says. you blink up at her, surprised by her tone. "fuck, baby, you're the most beautiful woman i've ever met, are you fucking kidding me?" she asks. "it-- you have great hair but-- that's not what makes you hot, you know?" she asks. you blink.

"what?" you ask. sevika groans, and this time, she does shake your shoulders as she speaks.

"look at you!" she cries. "baby-- you've still got your body. your gorgeous skin, your pretty smile, those eyes, fuck i get lost in your eyes all the fucking time. you're funny and smart and so fucking kind and i can never stop staring at your ass-- shit, honey, you're so good looking it drives me insane." she insists. a smile ticks up at the corner of your mouth, but quickly fades away.

"i might go bald someday." you say sadly. sevika groans.

"so you'll be bald! i'll love my little baldheaded baby. give your head kisses all the fuckin time, buy you hats to keep you warm, get you wigs-- think of all the fuckin' colors and styles and lengths you can have, whenever you want!" you chuckle at her outburst, tears still streaming down your cheeks, but your frown doesn't return.

"thanks, sev." you say. she swoops in to press a firm kiss to your lips.

she does research on hair loss for you.

she comes home with different potions and oils for hair growth at least once a week.

once a week, she'll help you coat your hair in masks, to condition and soften and promote growth. and then an hour later, she'll wash it out for you, taking her time to wash it all out, then gently comb your hair and blow dry it for you.

she learns how to do styles meant for thin hair, and then she insists she does your hair for you every morning.

her instagram feed is entirely thin hair styling videos now.

she gives you a new style every. single. day. sometimes, she'll even do her own hair in the same style, so the two of you can match.

as you lose more, she starts pressing kisses to the little spots of your scalp, sure to make it clear just how much she loves every part of you.

and each time she catches you in the mirror fretting with your scalp, she'll smother you in kisses until you forget your worries, then go out to buy you a fun new hat or headband or head scarf or wig to take your mind off the loss, and put it on the new fun accessories.

her care for you doesn't stop here. she's just as intensely loving and caring when you experience other symptoms of your illness.

she carries those pocket warmers with her, and when you're out and about and get an ache or pain, she'll pop 'em to activate 'em, then wrap them in a rag before pressing it to whatever part of your body is sore.

she's always making sure you get enough food and water, even when you aren't feeling hungry. she researches good protein shakes with lots of calories and nutrients, then buys the best she can find-- and she'll glare at you every morning and evening until you finish your serving.

if you get tired when you're out in public, sevika will take you home the second you yawn. doesn't matter if you're in the middle of grocery shopping, she'll leave the cart in the middle of the aisle and take you home, holding you until you fall asleep, then sneaking out to return to the store and finish shopping for the both of you.

she still runs her fingers through your hair like she did when you first met, uncaring of the way a few strands will always come out while she strokes your hair. and, when your little bald spots start growing fuzzy patches back, she's fucking thrilled. she loves the texture, loves running her fingers over it.

when you start wearing wigs on the regular (if that's something you do) sevika is always thrilled when you ask for her opinions.

"oooh i think the bob goes better with that outfit, babe." or "fuck, that red looks fucking stunning on you."

sometimes, you'll catch her in the bathroom, one of your wigs on her head, dancing in the mirror as she swishes the long inches of hair behind her back. it's so fucking cute. she's so embarrassed each time you catch her.

anyways, sevika loves you more than anything else in her life. a little hair loss isn't gonna stop that.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

[cositapreciosa]

You & Me III

Gilbert 'Gilly' Lopez x ex-army!reader, the usual for the show, 4316 words

a/n : first time i've made a third part of anything? hope it still slaps

You can find the masterlist here !

Tagging my Gilly people @narcolini @drabbles-mc <3

‘’ God damn it, woman. ‘’

You knew that would come, but you didn’t expect it to be the second you stepped out of the car. You thought you could have sneaked your way past the garage, past Gil and straight into the clubhouse, hoping EZ would be there, but turns out that all the bombs, the gunshots and even the missing muffler on his truck weren’t enough to damage his hearing. You couldn’t figure out why his ears weren’t ringing when yours were almost all the time now. You can hear him mumbling as he walks your way.

‘’ I told you to stay put. That I would take care of this. ‘’

You can tell he is angry, and as much as you would like to pretend not to hear him, and walk away, you can’t. You close the door, and when you turn around, he is in front of you, tall and shoulders pushed back. He looks good in his uniform, a dark grey jumpsuit that he is wearing with the sleeves tied to his hips. You can tell he has stained his tank top again, despite the dark colour and telling him he needed to stock up on Oxiclean.

‘’ Hi, baby, I missed you, baby? ‘’

He ignores your attempt to smooth this out, arm moving behind your left side to pull the door of the truck open, the metal door missing your hip by an inch. Deciding to borrow his pick-up truck might have been pushing your luck too, but there is nothing he can do about it now. He points to the driver’s seat.

‘’ You’re going to sit your ass back down, and you’re going to go home, baby. ‘’

‘’ I’m not. ‘’

‘’ You- ‘’

He bites his tongue, you can tell, see it roll in his mouth. You like to rile him up, of course you do, especially because he falls for it each time. He better gear up today, because you are determined. You will talk to Alvarez, or maybe EZ, whichever is here, whichever would listen to what you have to say. Gil takes a deep breath as he takes a step forward, chest pressing into yours, silently and slowly trying to push you back into the car. When don’t move, sneakers pressing into the gravel, he talks again.

‘’ You are unbelievable. I’ve got two cars on the lifts, I don’t have time for this- ‘’

‘’ Yo, Gilly, gotta stop bailing on me like that, man. ‘’

Coco walks out of the garage, cigarette between his lips, hat pushed back. His hair has grown longer since the last time you saw him, just past his shoulders. He smiles when he sees you.

‘’ Sup, girl. How you been? ‘’

He doesn’t seem to notice the tension in both your bodies, a position that could easily be mistaken for some welcoming hug. A weird one, really, one where you are pushing back against a human wall, one where Gil could force you inside if he decided to do it. His knuckles are white from gripping the door, he knows he can’t just shoo you away anymore, that the boys will want to talk to you, ask you how you’ve been doing, if they fixed the leaking sink alright.

‘’ Been good, Coco, thank you. How bout you? ‘’

‘’ Same ol’ shit, mama. Are you here only for the big man or you came for us losers too? ‘’

You snort at that, using the momentum to slither past Gil, letting him close the door in defeat behind you. You hear him grunt something in return, but you don’t give him the attention of turning around. Coco crush the rest of his cigarette under his foot, he is smiling again, clearly happy with the joke he just made.

‘’ I came for Ava, but Gil told me she left this morning, so I bullied the big man into buying me a beer before his lunch break instead. ‘’

A straight-up lie, and Gil has to know you are lying, you are convinced it is written on your forehead. Big letters, bold and coloured. Coco doesn’t seem to notice it, though, doesn’t even move over the fact that Ava wasn’t even here this morning, as he lights another cigarette. You like Coco, you find him funny, smart, kind, and you realize you hate lying to him. It is probably because he took care of the body that night, telling you that he would take care of it. Maybe you feel guilty that it has come to light, guilty about how he might feel about it when the truth comes out.

‘’ Go spend his money, girl. He has to be back in an hour though. ‘’

‘’ Duly noted, chief. ‘’

He smiles at that, hand clasping on your shoulder in goodbye before walking back to the garage. You can feel Gil’s presence behind you, all warmth and anger. You don’t like giving him the cold shoulder, but you know you have to rip the bandage off, figure this whole thing out and find a solution before it is too late. You still wish it could be wrong, that Marco’s information is wrong, that they did find a body, just not that body. What a weird fucking day already. You and Jacob's endless hunt for his lost homework right before having to leave for school, coffee spilling on your jeans on the way to the club, using the silent treatment on your man and confessing to a murder in front of illegal bikers.

You look at him over your shoulder only to find out he is already looking down at you. Don’t do it, it means, but you know you have to.

‘’ I’m gonna go in there, ‘’ you begin, ‘’ and I’m going to sit at the table and tell Alvarez everything. I want you to do it with me. ‘’

His gaze breaks away from yours, meeting a point far away in the distance. You know you are pushing him into something he wanted to wait for, but you can’t spend another sleepless night over this. Not when you woke up every hour or so, walking to the door to make sure it is locked, hand reaching in your nightstand to feel the cool metal of the gun that is tucked in there.

He motions for you to walk, chin pointing to the door, towards the clubhouse. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, relieved.

‘’ You got my back on this? ‘’ you ask.

‘’ Always. ‘’

The clubhouse still smells of old wood and liquor, just like you remember it. You have been here before, seated at the bar with Gil, tagging along to celebrate whoever’s birthday or whatever event needed tequila shots and cigars. It always felt cozy, in your opinion, mostly because it belonged to them, every piece of it, every memorabilia and every bullet hole that splintered the walls. You understand why Gil loves this place every time you push the doors, why it reminds him of the army, the nostalgia of it.

You are greeted as soon as you come in, hello’s from behind the bar, the pool table. You had felt confident on the way here, fingers gripped tightly on the wheel, telling Gil you would get in there with or without him, but whatever is twisting your insides now feels like nervousness, impatient to get this over with. You feel Gil’s hand on your back, showing you forward, past the doorstep. His fingers are warm on your back, heavy, brushing the skin peaking between your shorts and your shirt.

‘’ Do you think it would be better if you took the lead from here? ‘’ you ask him.

You know it would make him feel good to be in control, to be able to take the reigns on this one. He squeezes the side of your hip in response, his warmth leaving as soon as it arrived as he moves around you and towards the hallway to your right, the one you know leads to Templo, disappearing from your sight. You usually wouldn’t ask for help, you would deal with it on your own, swallow the anxiety, the nerves and jump in, but asking for help is something you have done more than usual the past few months. You always wait for it to come back and bite you, reminding you of why you stopped doing it in the first place, but it hasn’t, not yet.

‘’ Can I get you anything to drink, sweetheart? ‘’

Cielo catches your eyes behind the bar, torso leaning over the counter, wiping away any spilled liquid. You smile, and you hope she doesn’t notice that it is forced, that your fists are closed so tight you think your nails might break the skin.

‘’ I’m all good, thanks. Just waiting for Gilly. ‘’

Gilly. It still feels weird to say it like they do. It has always been Gil, ranger, or any insults that fitted the need at the time. He never took any of it personally, of course, but he was always quick to answer something witty in response. Another minute passes, and he is back in front of you just as fast as he had left, one hand sliding in yours, prying open your tensed fingers.

‘’ Come with me. ‘’

And you do, following him into the hallway, posters and license plates decorating the walls. The air is heavy, and the more your steps bring you toward the doorway, the more you can feel your heart in your throat. Your hand hasn’t left Gil’s, fingers wrapped so hard around his tattooed ones he might think you are scared he would let go. Deep breath in, deep breath out. You let him pull you further in, almost bumping into his back when he stops in front of a woven basket, reaching into his back pocket to drop his phone into it.

‘’ You got your cell? ‘’

You nod, rapidly reaching into your pocket to place your phone next to his.

‘’ Good, ‘’ he swallows, ‘’ You got your gun? ‘’

‘’ I don’t? Look, Gil, if I’m making anyone uncomfortable, I can just… ‘’

You can just what? Go home? Actually get your gun and wait for the wave to come crashing? You watch him adjust the sunglasses on top of his head.

‘’ This is just protocol, you’re good, Alvarez said he would listen to what we had to say. I told him that Marco came by the house. He had already heard something about a missing brother. ‘’

Just as he finishes, he takes a step closer to you, coming back into your personal space. You didn’t expect him to kiss you, warm lips against yours, with his hand under your chin. It makes your body shiver despite the heat, toes curling and craving for more. When he pulls away, he is smiling. You are not sure why, looking at the circumstances, but God, God, maybe you do love him for real, maybe it isn’t in your head or it is routine from being around too long, maybe-

‘’ Hey. Everything is going to be fine, take a deep breath. ‘’

And you do, because he tells you to, because his hand is warm behind your ear. You nod, I’m good, you want to tell him, let’s do this. You know he reads you like an open book, hand squeezing the back of your neck in encouragement before he turns to face the stained glass door.

The air seems thicker inside the Templo, barely any light, dark leather chairs, and cigarette smoke filling the air. Alvarez sits at the end of the table, watching as Gil sends you toward one side of the table while he goes for the other. You take a seat in front of your man, El Padrino on your right. You had met Marcus two times before, the first time when you had met everyone else for Angel’s birthday at the clubhouse, the other after you had stumbled upon his wife in the grocery store, a sweet woman was quick to invite Gil and you for a barbecue at their house.

The third time is today, just as you are about to tell him the truth, what you have been bottling up for weeks now, the blood that still stains your nails. Nothing Marcus hasn’t done before, you can easily guess. It feels weird the more you think about it, how your lives are similar in many ways, but different in so many others. It is Gil that breaks the silence, forearms leaning on the table. His eyes meet yours for a brief second. Behave.

‘’ Thank you, Padrino, for meeting with us. ‘’

Marcus acknowledges him with a grunt, a brief nod. If Gil notices the astonishment that paints your face he doesn’t let it show. Whatever boot-licking, democratic bullshit this is, you are already over it, but you let him speak, mostly because you told him you would. It is rarely his thing to lay low, lick boots and follow the rules, maybe the two of you have just gotten too old for it. But Alvarez doesn’t answer him, he turns to you instead, Gil discarded as quickly as he had started.

‘’ So, this has to do with the missing brother they found in the state park? ‘’

‘’ Maybe? I mean- I don’t know if that’s where they buried him. ‘’

‘’ They? ‘’

Marcus is intimidating, unreadable, pulling on his smoke every once in a while. He seems unbothered, and that makes you nervous. You don’t know how much you should tell him or how much Gil planned to tell him. You wouldn’t want to put any of them under fire of any kind, especially when they did all of this out of the kindness of their heart. You could have been anyone that night, but they helped anyway. Your eyes flicker to Gil, his hands are crossed in front of him and he is looking at you, fingers twitching for a smoke. You wish you could tell him to have one, that you'll allow it this time, that he doesn’t have to hide them in the inside pocket of his uniform. He motions to you to keep going as he eventually pulls one out.

‘’ Coco and Creeper. I needed the help and Gil called them. ‘’

Marcus hums, crushing the end of his cigar against the ashtray. ‘’ And help with what? ‘’

He is pulling it out of you, question by question. This feels like an interrogation, and in a way it is, nothing you haven’t done before, nothing you haven’t gone through before. It tingles inside of you, the adrenaline that pumps in your veins just at the mere thought of it. You try to remind yourself that this is a safe place, that you are home, but still, your arms feel heavy, neck muscles tensing. You try to swallow it down, readjusting in your chair. If Marcus wants the truth, the whole story, you’ll give it to him.

‘’ A dead body, the one I murdered. ‘’

You can see the twitch in his eyebrows, the surprise hidden deep behind his brown eyes. He didn’t expect you to tell that fast you bet, but that means he has been underestimating you so far.

‘’ I was doing mercs jobs in Fresno for a few months, that’s where I met him- ‘’

‘’ What the fuck? ‘’

The cold that drips from his words is like an ice bucket in your face. You had almost forgotten that Gil was there, silently watching from his side of the table. As you look at him, you can see the anger in his eyes, the shock moving across his face. Wait.

‘’ I thought you knew? I left Santo Padre for a job, I told Rea about it. ‘’

‘’ And you thought she would tell me? Snitch on you while you were back on this bullshit? You told me you would stop. ‘’

You don’t have an answer to give him, because you did tell him you would try, but that was a year ago, when life had started to feel good again, until it wasn’t, until you felt that need to run again. They are using you, he used to say, they don’t fucking care if you come back alive. He was right, but what he didn’t understand was that you didn’t care either if you did or not. Bills needed to be paid, dark thoughts and memories more easily buried under the clicking sound of ammunition and the smell of gunpowder. Gil is leaning across the table, chair pulled back a few inches, and if you didn’t know him, you would think he was ready to jump, hands on throat.

You don’t have an answer to give him, but you still open your mouth, hoping to find something to say. Marcus cuts you before you can.

‘’ And then what? ‘’

He is looking at Gil, and you figure he is telling him to back off, to calm down. Surprisingly he does, pressing back into his chair, huffing. You close your fists under the table, hoping the pain will bring you back into the room with them.

‘’  Then he was an abusive bitch, and he tried to kill me, so I did him first. ‘’

You can still hear the thumping in your ears, feel the split skin of your knuckles as you continue.

‘’ I didn’t know he was SAMCRO. I’m here so we can find a solution. ‘’

You finally meet Gil’s eyes across the table. He feels so far away, miles and miles when he is only at arm's length if you reached far enough. You crave his touch, you realize, you want him to hold you like he does at night, tucked in his chest, nose pressed against his shirt. It would smell like him, your favourite detergent, that Irish soap he uses in the shower.

‘’ I know what this would mean for the club if they think it’s your guys who did it. I don’t want this to happen. ‘’

You feel it in the back of your head, those thoughts that make you think that this is wrong, this is what happens when you stay for too long, when you stop and start thinking too much. The crescent nail-shaped wounds in your palms hurt. You are not sure how you knock out of it, but you are back, and Gil still sits in front of you, deep brown eyes observing you. You can tell he noticed it, how far away you were, barely a second. Alvarez turns to him.

‘’ I have already talked to Tig. The Fresno charter does think we’ve done it, and Marco has confirmed that they did find some evidence that points to us. ‘’ I don’t want to run again, please don’t make me do it again.  ‘’ I’ve been told his brother doesn’t seem that bothered, but he does want reparation. ‘’

‘’ Whatever he wants, but I’m keeping my fingers. ‘’

That makes him crack a smile, barely pulling at the side of his lips. He can laugh if he wants, but you are dead serious. You have met Chucky before, and even though he is a nice man, got a good job, that is not a sacrifice you are willing to do.

‘’ Cash seemed fine with him, if it’s fine with you. ‘’

‘’ How much? ‘’ Gil is quick to ask.

‘’ Hundred thousand. ‘’

‘’ That’s insane. She was fighting back, not- ‘’

El Padrino raises his hand, asking for silence he is rapidly met with. What surprises you is when Alvarez asks him to leave, even more so when Gilly actually does it, reluctantly, of course, but nonetheless. You can’t stay in this room if he isn’t, because you know you can’t deal with Marcus alone. You are panicking just at the idea of it, like a dog being left behind. The room feels smaller suddenly, and just as your knees lock, ready to stand up and walk away with Gil, Marcus stops you.

‘’ No. ‘’ Is all he says, ‘’ You’re staying. ‘’

Both of you watch as your man crushes his cigarette against the ashtray, giving you a brave nod before closing the door behind him. When Marcus’s attention is back on you, you can tell he is asking if you can do it, if you have enough. Gil was right on this one, it is insane, no one carries that much money in cash, not you. Your teeth are piercing your bottom lips, maybe you could spare a finger or two, you think, maybe you could do that.

‘’ I can get you 15 thousand in a few days. Not more than twenty if you give me a week. ‘’

The silence is deafening, you can hear the buzzing from the overhead lights. You are ready to pay your debt if that is what SAMCRO expects of you, any way they see fit, you stopped trying to change people’s minds a long time ago. There's no point in lying to Alvarez, even if you try, a hundred thousand dollars is just too much.

‘’ So you have a military background? ‘’

You frown. You don’t understand what this has to do with all of this.

‘’ Yes. Gil and I were in the same unit for years. ‘’

Friendship, lovers, everything in between, rangers in death and life. He takes a cigarette out of his pack, offering you one. You think about accepting it, only for a second, long enough that he can see the hesitation in your eyes before you decline.

‘’ We could use someone with your skills. ‘’ he begins, ‘’ Sharp, quick. ‘’

The smoke dries your eyes when he exhales. You know what he is offering, a type of work you have done before, something you’re good at, something that Gil would have said no to if he had stayed. Alvarez is offering you a chance to say yes, to make your own decision.

‘’ I could loan you the eighty-five thousand you need, drop it all off to SAMCRO, but you’d be in our debt. ‘’

I need to ask Gil, I need to know if this is fair, if this is legit, I need-

‘’ Can I sleep on it? ‘’

‘’ As long as you want, until they’re tired of waiting. ‘’

You don’t remember when or how you left the room, if Alvarez even told you you could leave, but before you know it you are passing the stained glass door, phone back in hand. Gil is not at the bar when you turn the corner, and you hate that it crosses your mind for a second that he left you, took his shit and drove away in anger. You know it’s not true, that you are thinking too much again. Too much thinking, too much-

You push the door open, fresh air in your lungs, the sun prickling your eyes. You want to cry, to fall on your knees and sob all of it away. All of the stress, the images that pass behind your eyes every time you close them, the ringing in your ears.

I want to go home. It’s the first thing you tell him when you reach the truck, where he is leaning against the hood, sunglasses covering his eyes. You can see the panic on his face, the way your own has crashed on him like waves. I want to go home, please, I can’t-

‘’ Hey, hey, it’s all good, I’ll drive you home, baby.  ‘’

Breathe, you can’t breathe. You only seem to be able to when he eventually brings you to the passenger side, when you feel the leather on your thighs, when the drilling noise coming from the garage finally stops as he closes the door.

Can I sleep on it?

You told Alvarez that you would do it, let them use those skills of yours as they saw fit, you do remember that now. Eighty-five thousand dollars in exchange for your life. Is it really how much you are worth?

As long as you want, until they’re tired of waiting.

You don’t feel like telling Gil, admitting to him that you took what looks like the easy way out. No out in glory and blood, guns blazing. It feels like you are out of high school all over again, passing in front of that army booth. Good pay, insurance, good pension, holding that blue disposable pen as you sign your life away for the next six years. We could use someone like you, with your knowledge. Same old shit, new leadership.

‘’ Would you think I fucked up, ‘’ you whisper as he buckles his seatbelt, ‘’ If I told you I made a deal with Alvarez? ‘’

You can see him bite his tongue, the clench in his jaw at your words. He knows to eat his words and think about it before he answers, and you are grateful for it. You couldn’t take it if he had said the first thing that came to his mind. You can’t stop your leg from shaking, up and down, up and-

‘’ Of course not. ‘’ He says, gently pressing his hand on your thigh.

You immediately feel better when he turns the corner and drives out of the yard, his palm caressing your skin in an effort to show comfort, understanding. Of course not, he says again and again, like it would fix the panic in your chest. You hope he means it, that with all his heart he thinks that it’s true.

Of course not, baby.

[basileus]

SEATTLE KRAKEN PLAYER PRIMER

I promised the beautiful @madroxed a Seattle Kraken current player primer so she can get into a West Coast (best coast) NHL team and then I went mad so it ended up too long for ask box without a read more. So here it is for your enjoyment, babe. 🦑

IMPORTANT THINGS TO KNOW:

1. When Kraken started playing their first season in 2021, there was a lot of discussion about the expansion plan, how many years they would take to become as successful as other expansion teams (cough VGK). That plan… has not fully panned out. So even though they made it to the playoffs last year, they're not super successful this season and likely won't squeeze their way into a wild card spot. This is okay because the Kraken are full of love.

2. This is important enough to say twice: THE KRAKEN PLAYERS ARE FULL OF LOVE. They don't need to be good if they're having fun and being friends! And they are!

3. Kraken has no captain right now, just four As. Democracy, baby! Every game there is tons of talk on reddit about how it's a good thing because it's made the guys closer, or how it's a bad thing because they don't have a leader and they keep losing. IDK, it's just our thing. There will be a C eventually.

4. There's a joke on tiktok that Kraken is a team of beautiful shy horses, treated badly on their last teams and now learning to love again. Keep this in mind when you see them interacting with Coach Hakstol. They all deserve to have their hooves (skates) farrier-ed gently, ribbons braided into their manes and to be tenderly fed sugar cubes. Anyways.

5. Haha, Seattle runs on love and tentacles.

THE OLDIES:

- Jordan Eberle (Jordy, Ebby, Ebs, Ebber) - Ebs was MY MAN for the longest time because I was soooo fond of him and the mid aughts pre-McDavid Oiler rookie crew. Now he's 33 years old, everyone calls him dad, and just had his 1000th game ceremony. It makes me verklempt.

He just signed a 2-yr contract this month, which people agree is mostly because of his role on the team and less because of his points (which are just okay).

He is also a noted Nickleback fan :(

Also, Jordan Eberle... naked... singing.

- Jared McCann (Canner, also Jordan's on-ice wife) - Kraken's lead scorer right now. Has the saddest backstory ever (he's had troubles with his teams since draft) but the Kraken team loves him. I love him too. Jordan was in his wedding party! Fun fact: Canner is the one who KISSED Ebs' head after an OT win this year, the organization framed & posted the picture, and it's the most romantic thing that has ever happened on Kraken ice. Recognized PC gamer boy. He also wears really really ugly hats with his game day suits.

- Philipp Grubauer (Grubi, The German Gentleman) - Gruuuuu. The more experienced goalie on the team. Noted horse girl (loves horses, there's a video all about his volunteer efforts with them). Gets a lot of undeserved shit from dude fans for being a conservative goalie, the man is NOT gonna move. He straight up close lined a player yesterday because they got too close to his crease lol.

- Vince Dunn - You already know this guy. Feral, but also submissive and breedable. I sent you the "screaming with a bloody face" vid but here's one where he drop gloves for a Matty hit and another from Juniors where he fights OFF ICE. His nickname is Dunner but because he's a pretty princess, he also goes by "Vincess" in hrpf. He's very popular this season both for his looks and his performance this season. Unfortunately injured right now due to a bad hit. Noted "gamer (fornite) boy" lol.

- Adam Larsson - You also know this guy. Big Cat. Quiet but a leader to the D rookies. Surprisingly funny - he's a silent prankster and the custom t-shirts this season with his face on it were a hit. Outside the hrpf space, he's engaged to a beautiful blonde Swede and about to be a dad this month.

- Jaden Schwartz (Schwartzy) - Peak millennial. Is it wrong that I think Schwartzy is the hottest Kraken after Vince? Because I don't care. He gives hot dad, with two dogs with girl names.

He changed his hockey number to match his sister's who died of cancer :'( Has been injured a lot this season and we miss him :'(

- Yanni Gourde (Gourdo) - FERAL!! FRENCH (CANADIAN)!!!! A tiktok star, sassy, charming, and also part of the team leadership.

Married and dad to little girls, who he has allowed Matty to babysit, if you can believe it. There was a super cute vid of them at the pumpkin patch this year. I'm a proud member of the GOURDO IS HOT club but even people with bad eyes and no love for goofy faces love Yanni.

- Andre Burakovsky (Burky) - You might remember him from his Cap or Av days. He's a beautiful little bird who is so good at scoring but so broken. The man has two Stanley Cups but he's played like 2 games for Kraken where he was both healthy & productive lol. People ship him with Gru sometimes in hrpf because they have cute nicknames for each other and also vacation together. He also just had a baby like two months ago so my sisters and I call him a teen mom even though he's like 29, lmaoo.

- Pierre-Edouard Bellemare (Belly) - His shirt is always off in every video I have ever seen him in. Handsome. Beard. French, like literally from France, but we won't hold it against him. He's an older guy who was brought in to help the team with offense (which we badly need).

- Oliver Bjorkstrand (Bjorky) - I always describe Bjorky as like a less handsome Dylan O'Brien if he played hockey. A chill, smiley dude who cares a lot. He played in Portland for the Winterhawks back in Juniors and I saw him a lot there! He's playing super well this year, he even was at the ASG!

THE YOUNG ONES:

- Matty Beniers (Matty, Benny) - OUR BEAUTIFUL FIRST DRAFT EVER. A baby boy. Ebs and Canner are his mom and dad. If you're on tiktok, he made that viral "Yes, Yes, Nope, Nope" sound while mic'd up.

He's growing up :') but also is having kind of a bad season :'( Part of the planned growth of the Kraken team though!

- Will Borgen (Borgy) - One of the baby D. He kinda looks like Canner but more frog. Matty and Borgy are roommates & pretty much BEST FRIENDS during the season. There's a lot of good locker room videos of them giving each other shit. He has also bullied Karts lol. Self describes himself as a little deer.

- Joey Daccord (Joey, Dacs) - Baby goalie. Gives the F1 recaps on tiktok. One of the biggest joys of my year so far was chanting "Joey" in the crowd after his shutout in the Winter Classic. Sometimes he strays too far from the net and makes boo boos. We love & cherish him.

- Kailer Yamamoto (Yamo, Yams, Yammer) - Little man. So little. Great at shootouts & stealing teammate's jerseys. He's the only Washingtonian on the team. Was a Oilers rookie and I've heard he featured in the whole Draisital hrpf narrative thing (idk I'm not an Oilers fan rn lol). Has a terrible goatee right now.

There's a funny af tweet about a reporter seeing a huge cheering section for him at a game and assumed it was friends & family but went over and it was just random people rooting for Yamo purely because he's short.

- Ryker Evans - The newest baby D. Has the deadest eyes you will ever see but he also spent an entire Firebirds youtube interview series just hanging out in a child's pool. He's played great since being called up from the Firebirds and we love him. So new he doesn't have a Breaking the Ice sheet yet :( Also his middle name is GARTH!

- Tye Kartye (Karts) - It's important that you know his last name is pronounced like "Cart-che" but even the announcers say "Car-ti-eh" like the jewelry brand. A quiet-ish sweetheart but also kind of spicy while playing. Rooms with Ryker. They're flirty and have been since the Firebirds. Scored his first NHL goal in his first NHL game, during the Kraken's first ever playoffs!

- Cale (& Haydn) Fleury - REAL LIFE BROTHERS. Not actually related to Flower. Haydn is on the Lightning now and we miss him. Cale mostly plays for the Firebirds but he's developing well and has gotten called up several times this season.

- Ryan Winterton (Wints) - A goofy little baby. He's still playing mostly with the Firebirds but he had his NHL debut this season.

- Shane Wright - I don't actually know his nickname. (EDIT: I have been informed it is Shaner or Wrighter!) Big boy. Our SECOND DRAFT EVER. Playing with the minor leagues right now. We'll see him playing a line on Kraken next season or so, probably (?). If Coach Dave is willing.

THE OTHERS (THAT I OFTEN FORGET ABOUT):

- Brandon Tanev - Turbo. He's fast. Has beautiful long hair. Keeps getting hit by pucks because he's in the way. Fun fact: he helped start the 'Kraken are horses' thing because there was a video on Tiktok where an equipment manager was adjusting his skates and they used a hoof care video sound and it went viral. We might lose him when he's a free agent and that's fine.

- Jamie Oleksiak - Big Rig, Riggy. In my shit list right now because he's playing bad and I hate his stupid credit card commercial that they always play during games. Member of the 'my sister is prettier and a better athlete than me' club. People speculate there's a chance we might lose him over the summer when his no-trade clause opens up as well. He's often Borgy's d-partner, and he and Borgy are very very sweet though.

- Tomas Tatar - Tuna, he's fun and nice. I like his accent. Sometimes I forget he exists.

- Eeli Tolvanen - Tolvy. I also sometimes forget about him. Sorry. He's a buddy to everyone on the team though.

- Justin Shultz - Shultzy, he's fine. Gets injured a lot. Not the best player. I think we're gonna lose him eventually too.

- Brian Dumoulin - Dumo, he's also fine. He's won a couple Stanley Cups. Cute baby face for an older player but he gives a kinda empty brain, 'there's not a thought behind those eyes' feeling lol.

HOPE THIS HELPS. I ALSO HOPE THEY DON'T CRUSH THIS PRIMER OVER THE OFF SEASON WITH TRADES LOL but who knows. Whatever happens, happens. Just remember this team runs on love (and tentacles).

[sparkymalone]

Weenus Review~

First, Happy Birthday Hiko. I’m late, but so were you :P.

Second, I liked this chapter! I think the idea of Fuyuhiko having a fav dessert cafe. It’s adorable and very in character lol. Idk what a parfait is though so I’m uninformed.

My analysis:

The characters were obviously amazing. The only ones you really had to write to any great degree were, of course, the boys. There’s likely never going to be a complaint about them. I have read a lot of fanfic, and have never seen anyone come close to writing Kuzuhina even half as well as you do. I’ll give Natsupeko an honourable mention. They’re not a couple but you write them well. I like Peko’s focus on the romantic side while Nat focused on the sexual side. Also in character.

Now, I’ve split the content into four parts. The Cafe, the Movies, House and the Ring.

Cafe: I loved this!!! It’s so cute to imagine lil Hiko finding candy stores and sweet cafes. His blond little dumbass sat in a hat and sunglasses to avoid suspicion. I want Hajime and Fuyuhiko to be out at a cafe, and for the waitress to come over, nod at Fuyuhiko’s freckled face and coo “Ohh! Your son’s adorable!” I wonder if Fuyuhiko will ever realise he doesn’t need to be so defensive around Hajime. One day it’d be cute to see him just be all soft, sweet and sappy. It’d also be unlikely :3

Movies: I loved this too! I’ve always loved seeing Hajime be the one to struggle resisting his boyfriend. I hold out hope one day for a Dom Hiko chapter. He’d still bottom of course. I would genuinely love them to fuck in a movie theatre lmao. I want the lights to come back on mid-sex. I like the bathroom scene :3. I always love it when Hajime blows Fuyuhiko. It’s cute seeing Baby Gangsta get his little dom moment.

House: My least favourite part, I won’t lie. I think this part just seemed mechanical. You said yourself you were tired and, unfortunately, I do think there’s an effect here. I would say I loved the top!Fuyuhiko fake out, but it was my idea and I don’t wanna be a narcissist. The sex seemed pretty vanilla for a birthday post. I know they tried a new position, but I kinda thought they could do more. The cafe scene made me want Hajime to put the yoghurt on his fingers and let Fuyuhiko clean them off.

Ring: LOVED this!!! I’m so glad they’re engaged! I know this is but one of the many AU’s, but it’s still adorable! I love that Fuyuhiko basically said “Bitch please. Ring or else.” Such a petty bitch lmao. He’s defo gonna be a groomzilla. Btw when they get married, I want him in a golden wedding dress. You can say “it’s not white” but all I’ll say is those assholes have had a LOT of premarital sex. I want it to be some grand gesture or something to show Fuyuhiko’s trust in him.

Overall Thoughts: I liked this chapter! I do think the second half betrayed slight rush, but other than that it was good! I hope to see more chapters that explore Fuyuhiko’s sweet tooth. Can’t wait to see the next chapter for Hajime’s birthday.

6/10.

Thank youuuu 😭

I'm glad the characterization was good, at least lol. I also love the idea of Fuyuhiko having a favorite cafe, especially when he literally just wants the desserts there. 😆 And I'd love to do a theater scene sometime!

OOF, I appreciate your honesty, but having you call my smut scene "mechanical" HURT 😭 You're obviously not wrong, it just sucks to have my fears confirmed, I guess. I'm seriously considering going back and rewriting it, ngl.

I think it's funny that you liked the whole engagement bit because THAT was the part I was most worried about lmao

Thank you for your analysis, darling 💖

[lunesprite]

GiTM Characters - as Tom Cardy Songs

A Good Enough Tm List.

Hello and welcome to a very silly list I decided to make this morning. It is now a full 12 hours later and my vision must be shared. 

Tom Cardy is fantastic, and even without this silly list, I do think y'all should check him out! But keep in mind, a lot of these songs are suggestive/NSFW for various reasons, so maybe put in some headphones first. 

Also, I make these silly suggestions, every single one of them, out of immense love for these characters, so if one seems mean… I am ragging on them. I am pulling on their rays in the playground or whatever. 

I love each and every one of them, scouts honor. And with that out of the way….

Wonderful @/venomous-qwille's Ghost in the Machine Cast - specifically as Tom Cardy songs only.

Part 1: I Will Not Be Taking Feedback I Am Correct: 

Clip.exe: Red Flags

I love Clip.exe so so much it is unreal. He's a freak /endlessly affectionate. If i am feeling particularly silly with him, then i can offer a second for young, baby Clip: Monster Truck. Either way, I am kissing him.

Sanii: Hot Shit

He is. I would pay an inconceivable amount of money to see this. I want to see him performing this in a silly glittering red jacket to try and cheer Misuta up.

Nova: The Ballad of Smokin' Joe Rudeboy

This beautiful, perfect man. Important context: Fool is singing it, narrating our wonderful tale, and Nova is performing his ass off and having a blast. He is wearing a cowboy hat and yes, one of his rays is sticking through it. I love Nova. I am kissing him right on his face.

Noon: Artificial Intelligence

He would sing this song and you wouldn't even need to ask him to.

y/n: Repress it!

Look at that, we get a song too. :) Almost forgot to, tbh.

Part 2: I Got My Reasons:

Soleil: Read Between the Lines

Can I picture him singing it? No. I will not pretend. There are certain lines, however, I absolutely can. He very nearly falls into the 'Didn't Wanna Leave Anybody Out' category, but I just. I needed to manifest this.

Fool: Perception Check

You know, I don't think I need to explain this one.

Sunspot: My Secret Shame

Oh darling Spot, it might very well be there's another song that fits you better, but imagining this one, which is so sweet and harmless but absolutely on point for something that WOULD be his shame, made me almost break down laughing at work.

Misuta: All the Stupid Things I've Ever Done

:)

Sandman: Level Clear!

Sandy is kind of riding the line between this category and the next, but like. I give him this one because I cannot wait to see what this little man has going on, and I really wonder what his life has been like! I just know there's trauma under that hat.

Harvest: About 8 hours

There was another song here but this was a late suggestion that I realized was simply. Too correct.

Part 3: I Didn't Wanna Leave Anybody Out and By This Point I Was Invested And Too Proud to Back Down (I Will Take Cardy Suggestions Here):

This section is particularly silly. 

Ruin: Love Language

The angle. I confess: I forGOT them. I am a fake fan. But I come with a secondary song for Ruin.

Call your Mother (just links now because there is a 10 video limit woopsie): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AV5HKWRMyAY

Profanity aside - and the funniness of imagining Influencer Ruin - I think this is about as accurate as this section gets.

Part 4: JK i backed down instantly

Sunflower & Sombra

I had to admit defeat with these two. I don't think there is one by Tom Cardy that fits Sunflower, but I know so little about her I... As for Sombra, I did have a joke one but later (right now) accepted I also know very little about him. I toss in my hat on these two, I have done my best. 😔

I also debated an extra song for Nova - and a particularly silly one for Sol - but I thought I should cut myself off before I lost myself completely in the sauce. I suppose it works out, since I ran out of video embeds (oops).

Thank you for attending this uh. Post? Yes.