#now whomst is the father

[tinseltownie]

In minute one succession can fuck right off with that reveal

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Please, talk about the Gom Jobbar scene

Oh hell yes.

So this is one of those posts that really should be a short video essay of me talking over the scene but instead it is gonna be a loooooong wall of text and screenshots. Maybe it will assume its final form some day if I'm ever in possession of the free time and patience to make video essays. I also highly recommend watching Denis Villeneuve's own breakdown of this scene from 2021. I'll try not to duplicate things said there.

We have to start with the setup, which begins with this scene:

We see Jessica on her knees, in the rain, waiting for an arriving ship. These are the first shots in the movie where we see Jessica when no one else is watching her, and this woman who stood calm and composed before representatives of the Emperor of the Known Universe is terrified. Which creates an immediate sense of dread over whoever is coming in that ship.

Whomst in the fuck now?

We also get this shot where we're alone with Jessica. It's a little hard to see in a still frame but there's a moment where she, like, steels herself before she wakes Paul up.

Holy fuck tho, I just noticed the similarities between this shot and the one of the Bene Gesserit arriving, with the almost monochromatic color palette and the shafts of white light.

Once Paul wakes up we shift to his POV. He immediately knows something is off ("What's wrong?" is the first thing he says) but gets no information about what's happening.

Then we get this short scene, where Paul is told he is going to meet the Reverend Mother and but not much else about what's going on. The whole "She wants to know about your dreams." "How does she know about my dreams?" [no answer from Jessica] exchange, I think, implies that she knows because Jessica told her about Paul's dreams, which is this little tiny betrayal of confidence that gives Paul the first inclination that his mother may not be someone he can fully trust in this situation. Which is exactly what Dr. Yueh warns him about immediately after.

We also get two new languages used in this scene. Dr. Yueh speaks to Paul in Mandarin, which he understands and presumably Jessica does not. This gives us a piece of information about Paul's curiosity toward other cultures and his facility with languages. And Jessica uses the Atreides battle sign, which Paul also understands. Outside the library, Jessica pauses to give Paul one more silent warning, although she still hasn't told him what's about to happen.

This is just the setup. So before we've even entered the room, we've created this sense of unsettled foreboding dread (the Denis Signature Vibe) without a clear understanding of why things are happening--which is exactly how Paul feels.

I should also add that in the book, this scene takes place during the day, with the Reverend Mother sitting in front of a window. Shifting it to the middle of the night not only makes it way creepier but also tells us that (1) the Reverend Mother is the kind of person who can command Jessica's attention at any time of day or night and (2) this is all somewhat illicit and possibly is happening without Leto's knowledge.

Whomst in the fuuuuuuck?

We get this sort of weird POV shot of Paul crossing the room when it's not actually happening:

which I think is supposed to suggest some subtler form of control than the Voice, which Paul resists.

Before they've even properly entered the room, Mohiam manages to insult both Paul's parents ("defiance in the eyes, like his father" and dismissing Jessica with a curt "leave us"). And the first thing Paul says is to defend his mother's place in the social hierarchy ("You dismiss my mother in her own house?") with all the haughtiness you would expect.

The power dynamic gets rapidly clarified.

Momentary aside to say that I love the composition of this shot. Neither of them are quite on the third--they're just a bit too close to each other to make the shot look balanced. But neither of them are in center frame either--the box is in the center. They're not exactly aligned to the light gray columns between the bookshelves behind them, either, and the bookshelves are just slightly asymmetrical. It all makes things feel just a little claustrophobic and unsettling. Denis Villeneuve frequently uses this technique of creating unbalanced shots and intentionally leaving too much space in awkward parts of the frame to create a sense of unease.

Paul isn't kneeling in the book either--he's standing beside the chair in a setup that I don't think would actually work given the heights of the actors here, or would look awkward as hell. So they've solved a practical blocking problem and done some storytelling with it as well.

This is where we get our first look at the Voice at full power, and it's one of only two scenes where we get some subjective POV of what it feels like to be Voice-controlled (the other one being Feyd-Rautha and Lady Margot's interaction which deserves its own post). I really like that they didn't go for Voice Slow (zombie shuffling across the room) because Voice Fast is much more disturbing. The subjective experience of it seems closest to like, blacking out and waking up in a place or doing a thing and not knowing how you got there. The camera effect is just a really fast dolly and a slick edit, but Timothée really sells it with his split-second moment of confusion and shock before he realizes what happened and gets angry about it.

So now we're here, with the poison needle and the pain box.

"No need to call the guards. Your mother stands behind that door. No one would get past her."

This is a slick fucking piece of editing. Because just as Paul is learning that his mother has not only trapped him in this situation but is ensuring it continues uninterrupted, we cut to Jessica for the first time since she left the room and we see how absolutely terrified she is.

Also from this point, the sound in the film starts crossing the barrier of the door--we hear some of the dialogue between Paul and Mohiam when we're on shots of Jessica, and when the pain sound effect starts up, we hear it continuously on both sides of the door. So even though Jessica is not literally experiencing the pain, it feels like she is vicariously.

It would be really easy to tip the balance of sympathy in this scene one way or the other--toward Paul who's realizing his mother has handed him over to a painful and potentially lethal test, or toward Jessica who is listening to her child scream in pain and not only cannot stop it but is tasked with making sure it continues. But Denis Villeneuve is an absolute master at controlling and directing your POV in a way that allows you to feel sympathy for multiple characters at once and engage with complicated, contradictory emotional landscapes, and this is a little demonstration of what he's going to do on a much larger scale later in the story.

Timothée's pain acting...is excellent, that's all I'll say about that. Love that he's allowed to get all gross and drippy with it.

Now we get to the litany against fear.

Jessica starts it specifically in response to hearing Paul scream on the other side of the door. So, practically, she is using it to control her own fear. But the way the scene is intercut, it plays as if she is almost coaching or guiding Paul into controlling his own reactions. With every line that she says, we cut back to Paul as he is starting to master the situation.

"I must not fear." Paul is not in control here and seems about at his physical limit for keeping his hand in the box.

"Fear is the mind-killer." This is the one where it really seems like he could be reciting the same litany in his head or under his breath.

"Fear is the little death that brings obliteration." We don't really see Paul's face in the accompanying shot, but the pain sound effect really goes into overdrive, like she is pushing him harder.

"I will face my fear and I will permit it to pass over me and through me." Seems like Paul is getting to some kind of Zen place or whatever where he can withstand the pain.

This is when the first flash of vision pops up and the balance of power starts to shift in Paul's favor. We realize it at the same time both he and the Reverend Mother do.

Then we have this great moment where he looks up at her and we don't quite know what is happening but somehow Paul has started to win this interaction. And we go through a whole Face Journey with him that's intercut increasingly rapidly with Jessica's lines, flashes of the visions, and Mohiam's reaction as she starts to realize she's lost control of the situation.

"And when it has gone past--"

"I will turn the inner eye to see its path--"

"--and where the fear has gone, there will be nothing--"

"Only I will remain."

This part is great because like...nothing is happening. He just looks up at her. But we know that whatever battle is going on between them, Paul is winning now.

(Side note: this is a duel, right? This is his first of three duels, and like the duel with Feyd, he wins it on his knees.)

Then as soon as she says, "Enough," the facade cracks again a little.

And then he does the thing!! That is one of my favorite Paul physicalities!! Where he tilts his chin up so he can look down his nose at someone. Which is particularly audacious when you're on your knees.

It looks arrogant but there's also something a bit...childish? about it. It's something that he does specifically when he feels he does not have control of the situation and he's trying to regain it. He does it to the Emperor at the end of Part Two.

Anyway I LOVE the whole section of intercutting between Jessica and Paul because like. They are physically separated by a door but emotionally they feel connected. She put him in this situation, but then it's almost like she is reminding him that she also gave him the training to survive it. Which like, isn't that a microcosm of their whole fucked-up relationship?

"...You inherit too much power."

"What, because I'm a duke's son?"

"Because you are Jessica's son. You have more than one birthright, boy."

Almost all the dialogue from this scene is taken word for word from the book (although sometimes condensed). This is one of the few lines that got changed. In the book, Jessica is the one who reminds Paul that he is a duke's son--not her son. In general the movie dialogue is more faithful to what's in the book than you might expect. But every once in a while there is a line that feels like it's talking back to the original text like this.

There's another little emotional reversal right at the end of the scene, when Jessica comes in and her face just floods with relief at realizing Paul is still alive. But meanwhile you can see that Paul is really processing how betrayed by her he feels.

And then, after all that, they do talk about his dreams.

Denis has said in interviews that this was one of the very first scenes they filmed. Which is. Insane to me. This is an iconic scene from the book that every fan will come to with expectations and it's a really hard acting job! For everyone involved but especially for Timothée, because so much of the scene turns on him having an intense reaction to something that's not real and generally just...doing stuff with his face, and hoping that the sound design and the score and some scenes that haven't been shot yet will sell what's going on. Usually you would want to work up to an intense emotional scene like this, give the cast and crew a little time to get comfortable with each other. Nope! Anyway Denis has also said that he knew after this scene that he had cast correctly and yeah. I would say so.

[memento-mori-twilight]

Alright, I know everyone and their cousins are all gaga over the Superboy reveal but

Let's talk about that new villain lineup!

And more importantly, how a lot of them are Honest-to-God head scratchers. Well, I have my guesses. As usual, more rambling explaining why is below the cut.

1) Like, Sir to Lex's immediate left, whomst the fuck are you?

You're too old to be an alternative of Clark, don't fit the previous design of Zor-el, still have both eyes unlike Jor-el...

Unless you are an Alternative Jor-el. Like the Fortress AI Jor-el. But even then, the outfit is slightly off since there's no Kryptonian armor (or symbol for that matter) and Jor-el would have no reason to be a threat to either of the Super Crew.

Speaking of AI, could be Eradicator as a more stable construct now that it's no longer one of Brainiac's protocols (echoing how it went from possessor to physical entity in the comics)...but I think someone else in this picture fits that bill.

Maybe it's Zod? But if so, Jesus are they making him look *exactly* like Jor-el, which DC has famously NEVER DONE. Since Zod is often seen as more of a brutish and ruthless character compared to Jor, he's often bulkier in build.

But then again, they've also built Kal's father like a truck in this adaptation so who knows, maybe that hair style was an official military mandate?

2) Speaking of hair, I see that curl on Lex's right.

HI HANK!

Looks like Lex found you after your plane exploded and fixed you up, huh!

Now you're well on your way to becoming Cyborg Superman officially and cementing yourself on the Permanent Superman Hater Squad!

3) Ah Lex! I see your luscious red-brown locks are finally gone. Wonder what caused it? Was it a bad outcome due to an experiment backfire, or are you sick from being around all that Kryptonite for those Metallos for weeks? You looked pretty run down last time we saw you. Maybe some new competition would bring some life back into your face.

4) Maybe another super genius on your level will challenge you? Maybe someone like...

Ultra-humanite! (On the villain screen bottom right)

Yeah I know the popular take on U-H is the super smart white-furred Gorilla with a surgery scar, but that's just his final form. And I think they're gonna pull what they did with Ivo/Parasite with him by only showcasing his final form on the Villains screen (only it looks like they're not going full Gorilla if he still has a human head).

He started out as Superman's oldest archenemy, a mad scientist who was obsessed with getting rich, getting revenge and living forever, predating Lex by a long while! So it will be fun watching Lex bump heads with what is essentially his ancestor until Ultra morphs himself to something beyond human.

5) Speaking of beyond human, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what to make of that creature to Ultra's right.

Is that Ivo/Parasite fully free and morphed into a rabid alien creature? Is that just a normal alien creature?! Is that Dubbilex?! Is it Krypto?!?! I have no Earthly idea!

6) Last but not least on me still being confused, on the bottom left where the League of Lois Lanes used to sit, you will noticed there's a whole new group of people there.

And you will also notice that 2 out of that group of 4 are wearing helmets disgusting their features, but the other 2 aren't.

One looks like Lois in a pageboy cap with a sun and the other looks like Kara.

But wait a minute, it's not our Kara bc she's in the showdown squad at the bottom with the other 3 and that one is still in K-armor with the shoulder pads.

Maybe this is a fully Eradicator-pilled Kara as Brainiac tried to create during the season finale or..

What if the League of Lois' return, this time with their own Kara, but this isn't quite the same take on Kara that we got in Season 2?

What if this is a form of Power Girl Kara?!?

Would make sense for Clark and Kara to have matching brain conflicts meeting Kon-El and Power Girl at the same time, wouldn't it?

Or maybe this is another certain League making their appearance, this time with an Action Lois™ in tow? Maybe this is a glimpse at a version of the Legion of Superheroes, who are initially perceived as a threat until it turns out they're just trying to help?

Possibilities abound!

Those are just my predictions.

I have no idea what to expect for this season or what Josie, Brandon, or Jake have cooked up for us

But I have absolute certainty it's going to be one hell of a ride, and they haven't disappointed us yet!

Can't wait for Season 3!!!

[juuuulez]

📰 | part six: capulet.

info: Carl Grimes x Saviour!Reader, slow burn, enemies to lovers, mentions of past abuse, six chapters in and we are FINALLY getting the tiniest hint of romantic feelings, (y/n) and Judith being cute, more Father!Negan.

summary: You, Carl and Negan cook spaghetti. Annnnndddd that’s about it.

Okay this one is short but also lowkey sweet but also sad…….I just think that Carl in this episode was soooooo cute and malewife I want him so bad.

The trip to Alexandria was uncomfortable.

You essentially ignored Carl the entire way, though he figured that was better than the yelling and scolding. That, and you also hadn’t made Negan aware of the little tirade that occurred in your bedroom, to which he was equally thankful.

Subverting back into your precious attitude, cold and annoyed, you followed both Negan and Carl through Alexandria. It was obvious that you weren’t exactly paying attention, mind elsewhere, mentally preoccupied.

Nonetheless, you shot Negan a little glare when he made Olivia cry, clearly unimpressed at the blatant disregard for her emotions. Still, he only grinned, parading you both back to the Grimes’ household.

It was slightly irritating, when Negan would get like this. Trying to prove a point, whilst ignoring the problem at hand. What most perceived as a good mood, you knew it wasn’t exactly genuine, and with your own dwindling patience there was nothing more you wanted than to leave here, and go home.

Have a bath, maybe. Read your book.

But your frustrations are mirrored within Carl, whomst Negan finds some entertainment in agitating. So, he sticks around. Cooks. Engages the teenage boy in any meaningless activity, simply to get a rise from him, and likely a rise from his father later.

Though… you took some satisfaction from the grumpy look on Carl’s face, forced to wear an apron and roll out pasta. His hair looked much nicer without that stupid hat, and the bandage being gone let you see the true expanse of his pale skin.

Get it together.

However, you were oblivious to the similar light that Carl was beginning to view you in. Each time you’d help out, you would brush the flour off onto the back of your dark jeans, leaving white, dusty handprints on your ass. Without the jacket, Carl could even notice the little blemishes along your arms, some scars mostly faded, others jagged and raised.

As Carl rolled out the pasta, you’d pick little bits off the edges, chewing on the raw dough. It didn’t taste the best, but you were hungry, and it had a nice texture that made you want to go back for more.

“Stop eatin’ that,” Negan scolds, having caught you going back for your third helping of uncooked pasta. “Raw eggs, doll. You’ll get salmonella.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s a myth.” You retort, words muffled around the chewy mass in your mouth, letting it melt onto your tongue. When you reach down for more, Carl swats your hand away with the rolling pin, to which you give him the finger and depart.

After all, you’re still not too pleased about the whole ‘trying to shoot you’ situation. Now, he’s denying you sustenance, in the form of raw pasta dough.

Whatever.

You settle down on the couch, laying back with a huff, staring at the roof. It was times like these where you began to question everything. Like, was it really worth it? Yes, it was, because you were guaranteed safety in this unpredictable world. But, God, if it didn’t get lonely. Salvage often came in small moments of banter with Carl, but he essentially wanted you dead, which certainly helped diminish your enjoyment.

“Why don’t ya’ go wake Judith.” Negan suggests, which garners the attention of both yourself and Carl. You sit up on the couch, brows furrowed whilst you contemplate the notion.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You mumble, still sounding dejected, which spikes Carl’s curiosity. What he would give to know what’s going on inside your head.

Yet, Negan perseveres, still trying to push you out of this slump. “Well, I think it’s a great idea. Could do you some good, doll.”

Not willing to air out all your dirty laundry here, in Alexandria, in front of Carl, you obey. That’s not without a sigh of discontent as you rise from the couch, making it known that you’d rather do anything but.

It doesn’t take you long to find where Judith is sleeping. Or, was sleeping, as the toddler now stands up against the bars, watching the door curiously for whoever has come for her. You bite your lip, standing there awkwardly.

“Hey, there..” You mumble, reaching into the bassinet to pull the girl into your hold, where Judith is quick to wrap her chubby little arms around your neck. “Want some food, beautiful girl? Yeah, that’s right. You’re so pretty.”

You absentmindedly whisper at the toddler, jostling her slightly as you make your way back to the living room.

Okay.. maybe this is kinda good. It’s managed to pull your mind from that dark place, if only momentarily. However, you can’t help but feel a little envious.

You’d give anything for your own sister to be alive right now. Though, at the same time, you felt at peace with the fact that she never had to experience a world of violence and undead.

But maybe hadn’t she died, and hadn’t your mother passed during childbirth, your own life may have ended up differently. No abuse, no guilt. You’d have been a normal kid, with a normal family, and a beautiful little sister.

Too late for that one now.

You sit down on the couch, Judith in your lap. She watches over your shoulder curiously, quietly, whilst your fingers gently rake through her blonde curls. “Such a good girl.” You coo, enjoying the way her big eyes stare up at you whenever you speak.

How could one ever hurt a child? You’d have to be sick. Fucked up. Scum like that deserved to die, or better, suffer.

When Carl walks past the couch, Judith perks up. Her little hands extend, reaching out for her brother, trying to get his attention. Though somber, you smile, shifting a little to help lift Judith upwards and into Carl’s hold.

Seeing the siblings interact causes something to wash over you. It’s there before you can decipher the emotion, and in order to disguise it, you’re quick to leave the house.

The summer’s air is fresh against your skin, warming your arms, legs, face. You blink three, five times, before pressing your palms firmly against closed eyelids. This will not be where you break. Sure, you could have a meltdown at home, locked away in your bedroom. But not here. Not where you were supposed to be a ruthless leader.

You take a moment to compose yourself, pulling your mind away from the past, and back to the present. Now. Where you were supposed to be teaching Carl a lesson, teaching Rick a lesson. The whole of Alexandria.

Rows and rows of houses stand before you, all with their same white picket fences, clean porches. You envy this lifestyle, to some degree, but also know that it’s unnatural. Everybody has that demons, you just need to hide yours better.

The door behind you opens with a slight creek, and you quickly wipe your wet palms against your jeans, which are already soiled with flour.

“You alright?”

Carl is standing there, in the doorway. He must have suspected that something was wrong, and couldn’t just mind his own damn business. For this, you shoot him that same spiteful glare, though he recognises that you’ve returned to not quite looking at him, either letting your gaze fall onto his forehead or shoulder.

“None of your business,” You sneer, pushing past Carl in order to enter the house once more, mentally putting your walls back up. “Haven’t you got chores to do, housewife?”

This causes Carl to frown, looking down at the apron he’s still wearing. He’d forgotten it was there, but now fumbles behind him to untie the fabric, abandoning it over a stool in the kitchen. He’d wash it up later.

For whatever reason, he persists, following a few paces behind you.

“It wasn’t about you,” He begins speaking, though you fail to catch on right away. “I think… I wanted to shoot you to prove something to me, not to you.”

This again?

You just wanted to forget about it, at this point. The longer you stewed on the brush with death, the worse you felt. Well.. if you could even call it a brush with death, for you’d known the gun was unloaded.

But if it was loaded, would you have still taunted him like that? Probably.

Maybe you secretly liked how Carl fed into your violent tendencies, those inhumane wants and needs. Yearning for something carnal.

“Yeah, whatever. It’s fine.” You say dismissively, just wanting the conversation over with. Luckily enough, Carl seems to drop it.

As the mismatched family sat down to eat, you could feel Carl staring at you, burning a hole into your skull.

You ignored him in favour of eating.

In fact, you ignored him for the rest of the day.

But that night, when you returned home, everything you’d pushed away just came flooding back.

You couldn’t stop thinking about him.

[desceros]

i saw on your queue list that you’re wanting to do a papatello au!!! wondering if you would spare some headcanons????

ps your writing is great!!

[with heavy sarcasm] oh no, not someone asking me to discuss one of my favorite fic ideas, the absolute horror

after a terribly unfortunate incident (donnie learns he has a breeding kink and doesn't check to see if the two of you are biologically compatible before enjoying it, thoroughly, over a long period of time) it is discovered that you are pregnant. oops

after a days-long conversation where he freaks out because he's terrified about your safety when he runs some tests and the fetus is very much going to be a turtle with a shell inside of you, the two of you decide to... try. to try and keep it. it feels a bit like a miracle, after all, though he's very very careful to monitor the entire time. and well he should, as it's a difficult pregnancy; they actually end up taking her out a little early and putting her in an egg-like incubator for the last month or so when he starts getting concerned about some pain you're having.

the two of you name her lavinia, after splinter's naming conventions. but very quickly, mikey shortens that to lavi. she's very much a softshell turtle mutant, but she has your smile and (as she grows older) black hair just like papa splinter from having more human DNA.

lavi is the actual poster child of being a daddy's girl. from birth, she favors him for almost everything: being held, being fed, being bathed; if donnie's not doing it or close, she's fussy.

donnie is the actual poster child of being the world's most obnoxious father in the entire world. he's that guy who will insert his kid into every conversation, bending or even snapping its relevance to shoehorn her in. he has pictures upon pictures. videos of lavi doing absolutely nothing except being cute.

and she is so fucking cute. but she's also a bit of a demon, just like her father. wicked smart and always getting into trouble. worse still, if she gets caught, she just looks at donnie with big eyes like 🥺 and it's over. she's not getting in trouble.

lavi also really loves her uncle raph, and she has taken to stealing his catch phrases because she thinks they're funny. you have a video on your phone of her running agilely away from donnie with something very fragile and important, giggling and yelling 'stealing LIKE A BOSS' as donnie chases her, teeth clenched and hands outstretched, going 'lavi, dearest, sweetest little bug whomst i love endlessly and forever, please give that back to papa Right. Now.'

her favorite uncle tho is probably uncle leo. he has cool comic books and watches fun tv shows. she likes to climb onto his shell and curl up to take a nap. a picture of leo crying the first time she did that remains your contact photo for him for a long, long time.

this whole au is just an excuse for me to dump cute headcanons about donnie being the best dad in the world and no one has stopped me yet, so. yeehaw

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

Oh my god.

This is her mother and baby brother who died because of all you losers in this house. Not some petty grievance.

He's literally the worst.

***

LMAO, what does she mean, "No such thing happened!"

Everyone here was present for it! Who the hell is she lying to at this point?

With that said, looking at Sheng Hong's stupid face, it seems like he too is very willing to rewrite the past and act dumb about it and Minglan just has to go around reminding him of it.

***

Thank you, Rulan, for not going along with this gaslighting and confirming that the emperor is indeed naked.

***

You came at the BEST time!

Take her home and go no contact with all your shit family on both sides. You can keep Granny, Changbai, Rulan and Hualan, but disown the rest of them, please!

***

LMAO, did you think every man is your piece of shit spineless father that you can bully and manipulate? The world is much bigger than you!

Also, you have got to love how quickly he turns on her too when his shitty reputation is at stake. He's so weak.

***

LMAOOOOOO, HE DOESN'T KNOW!!

OH MY GOD, HE'S SUCH A DUMBASS 🤣🤣

Sure, your masculine prowess is so great, she just saw you by chance at the monastery and was OVERWHELMED with desire to have sex with you right then and there! And you were SO GOOD and your dick was SO GREAT, she had to keep coming back over and over, disguised as a maid! It had nothing to do with your wealth and status and social climbing at all!! 🤣🤣

***

Whomst?

She has been here all of two seconds and is already insulting Minglan. Is there not a single decent person in this shit family?

***

HOW ABOUT YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN CRUSTY VAGINA AND STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S SEX LIVES, HMM?

***

Wait, she what?

***

SHE HAS WHAT?

***

MTE!!!!!

WHAT EVEN? WHAT???

***

MINGLAN, WHAT DID YOU DO?

SO WHAT IF SHE IS A JEALOUS WIFE? SHE SHOULD HAVE SHOWN THEM JUST HOW JEALOUS, GOUGED THEIR EYES OUT, LEFT THEM TO BLEED TO DEATH AND THEN CALLED FOR GU TINGYE TO PROVIDE HER WITH A SHOVEL AND AN ALIBI!

***

ARE YOU ALL FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?

I WAS EXPLICITLY TOLD GU TINGYE WOULD HAVE NO OTHER WOMEN EXCEPT MINGLAN. WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK.

***

IF HE DOESN'T WRECK SHIT RIGHT HERE AND NOW, I AM SO DONE WITH HIM AND THIS ENTIRE MARRIAGE.

***

MINGLAN, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR ENTIRE DAMN MIND?

***

OKAY, SOMEBODY SPOIL ME, WHEN DOES HE START MURDERING PEOPLE WITH OR WITHOUT MINGLAN'S HELP, I AM NOT PICKY 🤬🤬

I AM PISSED BEYOND WORDS.

***

WHY ARE YOU STILL ARGUING, TINGYE?

KILL, KILL, KILL, STARTING WITH HER SHITTY ASS.

[crabrat]

you have been on tour for a month, you come back and find that you had a kid, who’s now an omelet, you go to check out the abandoned adoption place but instead you find a child who looks eggsactly like you stuck in the attic, the child has been eating dirt for a week, you are afraid to commit to being the child’s father bc you know you’ll have to leave soon, but you get attached nonetheless, you find that now you have a daughter, your old “friend” comes by, grief stricken by the death of his child and you two have an extremely homoerotic chat, you promise to help him get revenge on whomst ever was responsible for the death of the kid, and then a few minutes later you talk about how the murderer of said kid is one of your best friends and that you would die for him, you then steal a bed for your daughter that said murderer had sex with his wife on, but wash it bc you ain’t a bitch, your daughter asks you to play her a song and you do, it’s fucking adorable, she plays a song for you too then you talk about the fact that “holy shit you’re a single father” and leave the server promising to stream tomorrow even though your streaming schedule is shit at best, but you have gotten emotionally attached to a Minecraft egg so fuck it

You are Wilbur Soot.

[satansindexfinger]

Can you do the Brothers and Undateables reacting to an MC who called God sky daddy?

Author's note: ahsjdjdkf this is hilarious, thank you for requesting! It feels so weird putting the fancy banners and everything for something this silly lmao

Warnings: none

Crack; gn!mc

Everyone's Reaction To You Calling God 'Sky Daddy'

Lucifer

"... Pardon?"

He knows for a fact you did not just call his father sky daddy of all things. It takes him a moment to process it.

He visably cringes and rubs his temples, annoyance evident, "Please, for the love of everything, do not refer to him that way ever again."

What would even posess you to do that? You humans really are an enigma Lucifer can't decipher.

He couldn't look more disgusted if he tried.

Mammon

"Huh? W-who are ya callin' that?!"

Relax, Mammon. God isn't their side-hoe. It's not the type of daddy you're picturing. It's a joke.

"Damn, why didn't ya just call him by his name... yer really weird, yknow that?"

Now he's jealous. Why does God get a goofy nickname and he doesn't?!

Leviathan

"LMAOOOOO"

Thinks it's hilarious. So what if it's his dad? That was a good one, MC!

Boy is well-versed in obscure internet slang so nothing can surprise him on that front. Won't dare to use it himself but... okay, maybe when it's just you two.

He really wants to fit in okay? Probably has his own fair share of memes relating to The Lord (tm) and will send you every last one.

Satan

"Thank who?"

Did he hear you right? Is this some weird type of human word play? Even his big brain needs a second to connect the dots.

"Huh, I've never heard that alias of his before. Well, he is on the upper realm, and he is technically the father of all things... I suppouse it makes sense."

Doesn't pay any mind to it after analyzing the connection. He thinks it's a weird way of saying it but you do you, MC.

I lied. He so keeps that in the back of his mind to use when Lucifer is around just to piss him off.

Asmodeous

"Oh, MC! I didn't know you had quite the mouth on you! How blasphemous!"

Gasps like the drama queen he is.

Good job, you've turned his cringy flirt mode on. Now he won't leave you alone.

You might want to reconsider your word usage around this bitch next time.

Beelzebub

Whomst? What?? Sky who?

Doesn't get it, doesn't ask about it. He thinks he didn't hear you clearly over the sound of his munching.

Will look at you like a confused dog and cock his head, hoping you'd explain. If you do he will just nod. Like it's the most normal thing he's heard all day.

"Ah, you mean Father." Whatever. Back to your guys' scheduled sixth meal of the day.

Belphegor

"Sky daddy? Really? Could you be any weirder about him?"

If you pay close attention you can hear his subtle snicker. Come off it Belphie, you think it's hilarious.

Would absolutely call his maker sky daddy if they ever met again. Shame he's probably permanently banned from the celestial realm.

Look me in the eyes and tell me he hasn't attempted to call God weird ass names to his face before.

Joins Satan in his quest to piss Lucifer off by calling their father that.

Diavolo

Congrats, you've stumped the demon lord himself! .. For a split second. Then he lets out a laugh like he's just watched the funniest stand up on Netflix.

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you, MC? What an odd nickname!"

Thinks it's charming for some reason. You little humans and your interesting choice of words! How cute!

"Does that make me ground daddy?"

Diavolo please.

Barbatos

Ignores you. No reaction from this killjoy right here.

Okay, maybe he finds it just a tad amusing. Won't show it though. He might mention it in passing while he's having tea with Diavolo and chuckle a bit about the blatant disrespect you have the balls to show, but that's about it.

Or so you think. Motherfucker will drop it in conversation when you least expect it.

"It's a good thing we heard the timer on the oven this time. I suppouse we can thank Sky Daddy for this?"

It sounds illegal coming out of his mouth.

Solomon

"Daddy Jay-Z really has blessed us today."

Will play along with it. Man gives zero shits. Remember, this is the same dude who wanted to call Michael Mike.

He already knows he's going to hell shall he become mortal again so why not drag his favourite MC down with him?

"May the cloud son-in-law and holy poltergeist help us one day too."

You two are a walking menace.

Simeon

(Let me upload the banner you piece of shit site)

Look absolutely scandalized. You might as well have murdered Luke right infront of his eyes.

"M-MC!! That is highly disrespectful! Please watch your language, especially if Luke is around."

Knows you were probably trying to be funny but mans is whipped for holiness. Relax, he knows you probably didn't know any better so he isn't mad.

Just a bit dissappointed.

Won't lecture you further but will sigh and look disapprovingly if you ever did it again.

[cuteasamuntin]

People who love a Noir Spidey & Peni Parker father-daughter dynamic, I respect your right to headcanon and AU it up to your heart’s content, but also I do really need to subject you to information*

Peter Benjamin ‘Monologuing About Punching Nazis And Soda In My Weary Nic Cage Voice’ Parker is NINETEEN ENTIRE YEARS OLD**

Peni ‘Gerard Way’s Undeniable Weeb Tendencies Voiced By Kimiko Glenn’ Parker is a TEEN IN HIGH SCHOOL***

* You can file that information away in Canon (Comics Whomst) or Canon (Derogatory) or simply ignore it or whatever, I’m not a cop. I’m just a girl who is Some Guy On The Internet Yelling At The Cloud.

** Noir’s age isn’t, as yet, clearly stated in the Spiderverse movies, only in the comics, but he does seem to have a reliably comic-accurate backstory based on several dialogue references to fairly specific comic events

*** Peni was a middle schooler in ITSV and in ATSV was explicitly noted to now be in high school, and she’s also currently a high schooler in the comics

[violet-moonstone]

My boy Rainier whomst I love dearly

Dagur and Mala's son

Sometimes called Dagurson (which he dislikes), often called Rainier the Relentless (which he won't admit that he really likes).

He tries to be like his mother as much as possible. But there are some parts of him he clearly gets from his father (his red hair, his nose, his eyebrows, his anger...)

He used to idolize his father when he was young and naive, but that was before he knew about his past. That was before the accident...

Now he wants nothing to do with him.

But Mala is frequently busy and can be somewhat distant. So he spends a lot of time with his aunt Heather when he can. She's the closest he has to a friend. Peers his age are either too childish or unruly or else shy away from him because of his position.

At just fifteen, he has so much weight on his shoulders. He is the only child of two powerful leaders. His existence unites their tribes. He cannot afford to be wreckless or selfish. He has to be intelligent, strong, and brave. He has to be perfect. He hopes that one day he will be.

[princess-of-the-corner]

I think the only one I like out of those Secrets is Ivan singing heavy metal lullabies to his little sister.

Ya know what I have the list pulled up so I can go over them and give my opinions real quick!

1.) "When Alix was a child, she was given a rabbit as a gift... from her future self!" - Kinda cute. Hope she at least like, warned her dad somehow because dropping a pet on a child is a bad time.

2.) "Juleka's song: "Even if nothing is decided, nothing as solid as stone, everything can burn up and then we are alone... So love life, eternity."" - this is just the lyrics to what she sang as a record in Migration. On brand for her though.

3.) "Nino's headphones were given to him by his favorite DJ after a concert. That's why he always carries them with him!" - that's cute!!

4.) "Nathaniel naturally has chestnut brown hair. His hair is dyed by Alix." - Brunette!Nath is cursed so this isn't canon to me but it's a fun tidbit in theory!

5.) "Ivan sings heavy metal lullabies to his little sister. And she seems to like them a lot." - Adorable!!! I'm debating on yeeting into HC/LL because I always planned on him being an only child.

6.) "Sabrina's best friend before Chloé was Cléo." - Naur Cléo!!! No seriously whomst the FUCK-

7.) "André sells his ice cream at locations where famous French films were shot." - Fair enough. It works in the sense of always being able to find him.

8.) "Miss Bustier was once a student of Mr. Damoclès and once pinned a fish on his back as an April Fool's joke!" - This one's cute I love it! This one should come with an anecdote for the foreign audience that the French have a fish-themed April Fool's Day and this is a common prank for children. Doesn't make it less fun!

9.) This one was a 'sketch from Marinette' rather than a fact, and was an image of a dress. It's a pretty basic but cute dress.

10.) "Sass's favorite food is a tofu" - why??? Why is the Snake's tofu?? What happened to the fridge magnets with the gummy worm snack? Granted that didn't make the most sense either but the consistency.

11.) "Marinette wears her 2 pigtails in memory of a very good friend from school who is sadly no longer at her school." - In theory this is cute but I hate nearly everything about Socqueline's existence.

12.) "Adrien's full name is Adrien Émile Gabriel Donatien Athanase Agreste." - the absolute fucking EGO from his parents to have two of his middle names be their names.

13.) "Since Plagg adores cheese, especially Camembert, Adrien had to convince Nathalie that he is obsessed with Camembert." - Absolute fucking hilarious.

14.) "Gabriel's real name is Gabi Grassette" - I actually hate this. I hate this so much. Like it's inconsequential in the long run and it makes sense but GOD I hate it for some reason.

15.) "Kim actually has two surnames namely "Ature" and "Lê Chiến", then after their marriage both of his fathers each kept their surname." - this would be cuter if I didn't know it was a retcon of a retcon. It was originally "Lê Chiến", then they changed it to "Ature", and then they got backlash for it. But hey two dads now if only htey'll show up on screen! (this may end up in HC/LL? Debating).

16.) "What if Lila's biggest lie so far was that her name wasn't Lila?" - so on principal I hate this whole superspy con artist plot, but this is fucking hilarious.

17.) "The real name of The Gorilla is Placide I.T." - I think I already dunked on this enough.

18.) "Alya has received various Chinese treatments from Master Fu. So, he almost chose Alya over Marinette... to be Ladybug!" - I hate this one actually. Like not that I don't like LB!Alya! But she's new to Paris but has somehow received various treatments from Fu? Yet on the other hand Fu knew her very well and could've easily mentored her, but he decided to go out and choose some rando???? the fuck???

19.) "As a child, Marinette dreamed of tailoring a hat for the Eiffel Tower to protect it from snow. And from then on, all she wanted to do was be a fashion designer!" - That's really cute I love it so much!!!

20.) "Zoé's best friend in the New York City was Jessica Keynes." - I hate this. I hate this so much. This makes Jess look like such a shitty friend.

21.) "Kagami has drawn a manga about her childhood in Japan but she hasn't dared to publish it yet." - Adorable, actually!

22.) "Rose and Prince Ali stayed in touch after they first met and have become really good friends." - We knew ofc but it's glad to have it confirmed!

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble Bus Meta eps 4-10

That’s right, Whomst is BACK, my Lost Tomb fics-in-progress are THRIVING, and this new show is shaping up to be one of my favorite series of the year: it’s the heartbreaking supernatural storylines, it’s the humor and actors’ chemistry, and importantly, it’s the way the show is telling us so much without saying a word.

So here’s another post *flings it into the tumblr abyss* because this show is sneakily showing us Yiyong and Guangyan’s relationship growth through the metaphor of the Taipei public bus system. They’re insane for it and I’m insane for rewatching all the episodes to find scenes where these idiots are on a bus together.

The Bus as a Site of Trauma

It's significant that buses are an important site already for Yiyong, before the main events of the drama begin. A bus was the site of his worst memory, the bus crash that killed his father and landed Yiyong and his grandfather in the hospital, the bus they were on because Yiyong slept in (which he hasn't forgiven himself for).

The main reason Yiyong wasn’t hurt worse or killed, as far as I can tell, is because he moved out of the path of the collision just before it happened—his kind dad urged him to go have a seat in the back rather than stand. It's the last communication he has with his father--silent, a text message, a surly teen grudgingly listening to his parent. And then the freak accident happens, the plane collides with the bus, and Yiyong's world collapses.

So what about post-coma, when he starts riding the bus again?

When he’s alone, he's returning to and grieving the memory of his dad’s last moments. When he’s with Guangyan, however, the experience is different.

First Bus Stop Encounter: Ep 4

Things are tense between them here—it’s their first case together (tattoo lady), and Guangyan is still in denial about what the hell is going on right in front of his sweater vest. I love my fussy, self-absorbed neurotic meow meow.

These boys are still not friends, they are constantly thinking back to and remembering their high school drama years, BUT this is also the episode where the nature of the supernatural case makes Guangyan’s curiosity overcomes his fear and dislike of Yiyong; on the other side of it, Yiyong—still figuring out his own deal as an on-call spectral scribe—gets the reassurance of another person who knows what’s going on and can help. Despite the mutual antagonism, he always acknowledges that Guangyan is smart, and he could use a braincell or two on this team (so sad he won't get it).

The very awkward beginning to their bond is apparent here in the way Yiyong (freshly unemployed) has waited for Guangyan’s bus back from school to get his input, but has to threaten him into walking back together and helping out.

First Bus Ride Together: Still Ep 4

On the way back from looking at the John Doe body, they ride the bus together—but start out sitting far apart. They’ve only just started working together to figure out what happened to the John Doe, so it’s incredibly awkward and there’s a lack of communication between them.

However, we can see the beginnings of a softening between them. Behold Guangyan’s little pout when he sees Yiyong hasn’t come to sit with him. His house cat energy is off the charts here: “I hate him I hate him I hate—WHY ISN’T HE SITTING WITH ME???”

Yiyong, who has clearly not picked up on Anything and is still in case mode, casually starts yelling to Guangyan right there and then about corpses (I love him and his complete lack of care for what people think) and the flustered Guangyan scurries over to sit with him to have this conversation privately, for the love of god.

It’s the first time they sit together and it’s important that Guangyan is the one to initiate it, even if it stems from his fear of what people will think of them.

We still see the pole dividing them, but they’re physically closer now. Yiyong is already using and trusting Guangyan's medical knowledge, and even though they're in the "one step forward, two steps back" phase, it's a start.

The Second Bus Ride Together: Ep 6

The next time is completely different—they’re on their little “stalk the potential kidnapper” date and Guangyan, whose chaotic side is jumping out this episode, is on his usual quest to have Yiyong draw the specter for him.

They’re practically squished in together, with mirroring postures. The pole is now to one side, setting them apart from everyone else.

This is the day that Guangyan skips school to follow Yiyong to a theme park, which we know from his dad is completely out of character. He even comes home with a souvenir toy Yiyong won for him. This is a dynamic that is starting to change.

The Second Bus Stop Encounter: Ep 7

Yiyong’s grandfather has nearly died, and he decides a pre-med student is the best person to get for medical advice. It’s a way of saying without saying, “I trust you, please help me,” which takes the form of Yiyong frantically dragging Guangyan off his bus to school while berating him for not answering his phone. Gotta love this messy little gremlin.

The interesting thing is that Guangyan actually capitulates and goes with him, despite the little performance of protest—he skips school again to be with Yiyong.

The Third Bus Ride Together: Still Ep 7

On their way back from the hospital, we get a fantastic reversal of the first bus ride, where the boys sat down apart and only talked about medical questions. Here, the second they get on the bus, Yiyong casually drags Guangyan to sit with him. He asks Guangyan to video chat with him to help him with a dream, and even gives Guangyan an absent-minded shoulder pat on his way off the bus.

For all his “never in all my life” pearls-clutching act, Guangyan goes along with it and they are once again a united front.

The Third Bus Stop Encounter: Ep 10

Our final bus scene so far (episode 11 and 12 don’t come out until Saturday) is a reversal of the very first “waiting for Guangyan’s bus” scene (see the first bus stop encounter above). The poses are essentially the same, but everything else has changed--the camera view has switched so Yiyong is now on the left and Guangyan is on the right, it's daytime instead of nighttime, and their relationship has grown leaps and bounds.

Look at my babies. The Growth. The fact that they are sitting close together, not because they’re squished into bus seats (plenty of room on that bench, Guangyan honey), but by choice. It’s all about the we statements now, Guangyan has been out there defending Yiyong to the world and Yiyong no longer has to drag him into things, he has a real friend now. They've shared a bed multiple times, Guangyan knows Yiyong's favorite foods, Yiyong has apologized and been vulnerable in front of him...they are at the same bus stop as the beginning of their re-acquaintance, but miles away from what they used to be.

AND it’s in this scene that Guangyan gives Yiyong the cutest, tiniest little smile in response to Yiyong’s sarcastic joke, which absolutely spooks our boy. I know this is supposedly not a BL, but Yiyong’s response that Guangyan shouldn’t make such weird faces at him because it is giving him goosebumps, and abruptly walking away—mmhmm sweetie I’ve been there too.

SO. That’s the bus sequence. I might come back and update this if we get more bus scenes in eps 10 and 11. This will not be my last post on this fantastic show.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

Actually hang on, that AU would have so much potential.

Adora seeing Imp as her chaotic little sibling who helps out with pranks etc but might also snitch on her and Catra. Also, more internal conflict because he and Hordak are, at least on some level, family to her.

The other cadets not interacting with C and A because A is Hordak's protegee and C is SW's. Both of them are scary, so C and A really only have each other, which makes their separation in s1 only hurt more and make Catra all the more obsessed with getting Adora back bc she literally doesn't have anyone else (until Scorpia) (she could bond with Imp?)

Catra struggling to bond with Scorpia and accepting her friendship because she never had any friends outside Adora so, oops, social skills whomst? But eventually learning how to be a decent friend and growing as a person, as well as letting the sting of Adora's departure fade a little. She gets to grow as a person AWAY from Adora so that once she does join the Alliance, she is a bit more functional.

Catra worrying about Scorpia during s5.

Catra, spying at Angela interacting with Glimmer: oh ew what is this? Affection? What a cheap attempt at manipulation. -> Wait a minute, this looks... nice, actually. -> If she's the evil one, why is she such a good mom? -> Why isn't SW being this good to me? -> FUCK OFF SHADOW WEAVER YOU'RE A HORRIBLE MOM I'M OUTTA HERE.

Adora getting dragged back to the Horde in s3 and Hordak potentially acting like a disappointed father whose teenage daughter came home late from a party.

"Did you get everything out of your system? Y'know, Horde Prime would've killed me if I did what you did. You should be grateful."

[some character development later] "Hey, wait a minute... You shouldn't kill/brainwash people for doing that. HORDE PRIME IS AN ASSHOLE."

The comedy of Adora looking at Entrapta and Hordak interacting like "??????????????? HORDAK??? HAVING POSITIVE EMOTIONS??? DO I HAVE TO CALL ENTRAPTA MOM FROM NOW ON?????????"

Entrapta: I fucked your dad shitlips

Catra feeling genuinely horrible for Angela getting trapped between dimensions bc of the portal not only because she learned that Angela was good all along, but because she glimpsed what it's like to have a good mother figure and she took that away from Glimmer.

Maybe even Catra knocking some sense into Bow because he's mad that Glimmer did the stuff she did in s4. "Dude, cut her some slack. I know what it's like to be in position of authority (force captain) and it's stressful as hell. We were winning back then so you guys were losing badly and she was/is grieving. You do stupid shit when you're stressed and desperate (I would know, I made the portal happen.) So just... I'm still not 100% sure how to be a good friend so take what I say with a grain of salt but... Y'know, go easy on her."

^ character growth, shows willingness to forgive and thus bridge the gap between her and Adora. Results of being friends with Scorpia, feeling like shit when Scorpia left her, and the self reflection done throughout s4 following the "oh God I fucked up" at the end of s3.

No Melog. I'm sorry I just don't see the point. Instead, I'd really want to see Swiftwind be featured more heavily. Possibly Catra initially thinking he's weird bc she's never seen a horse before and later going "hey, you're close with Adora. Can we, uh, compare notes? I spent the last 3 seasons being her enemy and I'd like to go back to being her friend now. Help?"

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. this AU would have worked so much better than the trainwreck that we got. (also the idea of entrapta technically becoming adora's mom crossed my mind too, it would have been HILARIOUS)

[atopvisenyashill]

Can you tell us more about your female Joffrey/Cersei only has daughters au?

okay so i can’t remember if it was @chena-h or @shunnedmorlock bc both of them were talking about how cersei would lose her mind over this, but i DO think there’s a high chance cersei feels her daughter is the ymbq. i think she’d become terrified that her oldest is going to kill her two youngest and herself. i think jaime does not take her hostile turn towards their oldest seriously (the way he doesn’t take her hostility towards tyrion seriously literally until tyrion is on death’s row).

not concrete yet but i think i’ve decided on jocelyn, myrcella, and *coughs* lucinda or tyana for the names. i think cersei is clearly picking names that are westerlander And stormlander names as a dig at robert (we Don’t have any other myrcella’s so it’s hard to be sure but the westerlands love to throw a bunch of e’s and y’s in their names and the stormlanders love a three syllable (cassana, ravella, argella, cassandra, cyrenna, johanna, etc etc) so it feels like a safe assumption to make). Jocelyn is common enough while also stormlander associated, also it’s a J haha. I haven’t found a T name for a girl that crosses over both except tya lannister/tyana wylde, but i Do know there’s lucinda crossover, and the joke of like, tommen being named for a lannister king but being so young & sweet and unable to live up to that name vs lucinda being given the most old lady name imaginable is funny to me. wish we had more lannister queen names 😭

i think after daughter number three, jon arryn sits all three baratheon boys down and goes “one of you needs to have a fucking son, i just finally did it, now one of you needs to please for the love of the seven” and robert goes WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY. ARE THE LORDS CLAIMING THEY *WOULDNT* FOLLOW MY DAUGHTER? THEYRE GONNA PASS HER UP FOR WHOMST EXACTLY. A FUCKING PENROSE? THAT NEWBORN VELARYON? FOR THAT DRAGONSPAWN ACROSS THE SEA? I DONT THINK SO! and before jon can finish his sentence Robert is officially naming Jocelyn the heir to the iron throne TO BE QUEEN when he dies, and everyone who doesn’t like it can suck shit.

I think jon can talk robert into putting a little clause in there that says like “if i have a true born son, he’ll go before Jocelyn but if that time never comes, Jocelyn WILL succeed me as Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and the crown will pass to her first born son.” but robert is really serious about like,,,, regardless of if stannis or renly have a son, it’s ROBERT’S KID that comes next, not one of those two dweebs.

Tywin imo thinks Cersei Fucked Up Somehow. He’s not saying he won’t back Jocelyn, but he IS saying if Cersei had just had a boy, there wouldn’t be this problem. He's blaming this on Cersei and really mad because of course Genna wrote him a mean letter saying if Tywin refuses to acknowledge Tyrion as heir, there’s always Cersei and her girls and it pissed him off so much he sat in silence gaping at Kevan for three straight hours.

Tyrion "History Understander And Enjoyer" Lannister finds this hilarious. He literally cannot stop laughing at how absurd this all is.

Jocelyn…..okay so the way i see joffrey is joffrey is a kid just RULED by his first, base instinct. his instincts, his core emotions, tell him to love and trust both robert and cersei, and imo he twists himself into a MONSTER to try to appeal to both of them. no one else matters - not his siblings, not his uncle, not his grandfather, not the realm. he needs to be the sort of vicious person they could BOTH be proud of, he needs to be BETTER THAN THEM BOTH AT VIOLENCE, so he absorbs all of their faults and none of their virtues.

ANYWAYS, so this translating to a girl - who idolizes her violent father, loves & resents her manipulative and miserable mother, suspects but would NEVER say out loud the truth about her paternity, fucking HATES all of her uncles - imo means she’s got a reputation for being unpleasant & hypercritical, can’t hold onto a lady or a maid because she straight up slaps them when they fuck up, sexually humiliates the court fool (hashtag serving saera realness), like i think she is known for being Gorgeous And Difficult. i’m trying to think of a comparison. A mean girl but not nearly as charming because under all that vileness is a sullen little shithead who can and will throw a tantrum to get her way. Regina George but significantly more pathetic. Cordelia Chase without the heart. All the popularity of Quinn Fabray all the pathetic hysterics of Rachel Berry none of the intelligence of either girl.

Robert does Not enjoy her for a long time, same as canon. She looks exactly like Cersei, she’s catty and mean to everyone around her like Cersei, and while she quickly dropped the habit, she had a worrying violent streak as a little girl that Robert misliked so much he nearly beat her to death over it. It wasn’t cute and outdoorsy like Lyanna, it was the exact same cat killing shit. Cersei really loves and gets along with her in the beginning. She’s not the sweet perfect daughter Myrcella is, but she’s a mini Cersei, and Cersei loves having An Ally Against Robert.

THEN. She’s named heir and this dynamic completely flips. Cersei becomes distant, paranoid, essentially treating her like she does Sansa, with a sort of threatening affection, and Robert doesn’t become a doting father overnight but he DOES expand her education, and let her be Jon Arryn’s cupbearer, and drunkenly rants to her about his battle days. Cersei becomes determined to have a son.

HOWEVER. When her sadistic streak doesn’t go away by like 10, I do think Robert flips on her again. He has no fucking intention of unnaming her, especially because he hasn’t had another son, but I think a girl with a hard time controlling her temper would stand out in a worse way, and Robert would worry if she’s TOO much like her mother, especially when he can’t get her to hold onto a lady to give her another influence. the thing is, now that cersei is convinced jocelyn is going to destroy her, she doesn’t have another parent to run to. does she cling harder to robert, turn to someone else? if sandor is still her personal guard, i mean jesus fucking christ how is THAT going.

Been going back and forth on if this means Stannis brings Shireen to court. That Robert & Jon, hoping to straighten Jocelyn out, would try to give her a companion in sweet Shireen.

I’ve also been debating like,,, who Robert would betroth her to once Jon Arryn is killed (because Petyr & Lysa are still doing their thing, so even regardless of if, maybe, Stannis tries slightly harder to have a son, and winds up having another kid, or Cersei & Jaime have yet another daughter even after their third, Jon Arryn will still die and there’s no one else Robert would trust as Hand than Ned. Altho what i AM debating is whether this speeds the plot up a bit more by Robert asking for a betrothal AND a lady’s companion early? Because I think Jocelyn becomes a problem Jon wants to unseat much quicker, so he and Stannis wind up suspecting something is up with her a little quicker?? idk i’m still thinking it out). BUT ANYWAYS. Because Robb is three years older, and Bran is four years younger, and i’m kind of assuming they’d do a Myriah thing instead of a Laenor thing bc Robb has two younger brothers? So Robb would no longer inherit Winterfell, Bran would? Would they WANT a husband four years younger rather than three years older?

anyways that’s like, my characterization. i’m really getting into the weeds with this one because i kind of love it. there’s two like, forks in the road i think i could go here and i’ve been debating between them -

I’m just unsure if Jon doesn’t stumble on the incest earlier. It might not be TOO much earlier, i mean joffrey is only 12 when jon dies but a year? two years? especially if cersei has another blond haired green eyed daughter. if he can genuinely put the pieces together faster, before he starts talking about sending sweetrobin away, that’s a big change. but if he figures it out faster AND is also like “hey can i send sweetrobin to your place i know he’s like five but things are gonna get dicey here and also i want to get him away from lysa” that means agot still essentially happens (the catalyst of it) just earlier.

on the other hand, does robert approach ned about a betrothal earlier because of the inheritance issue with robb? does BRAN grow up heir to winterfell and robb with the knowledge he may one day be king consort of westeros? which also leads me to how robert would approach this - would he take the excuse to visit Ned to ask for this so they can hammer out the details? does robert just fully give up on the idea of having a son at some point, and THATS when he asks Ned, completely independently of whatever scheming Jon Arryn is doing?

so there’s one au where lysa still offs jon arryn, and agot plays out but with robert asking for robb, sansa, and arya to come south with ned bc robb is gonna marry jocelyn.

and then of course there’s another branch where jon exposes the incest earlier and…would varys try to off him? would lf take the opportunity to sow some chaos be ensuring the lannisters stay in power? the moment robert knows, he’s storming cersei’s rooms to murder them all, but if cersei finds out beforehand, she and jaime are going to REACT.

[crownedtargaryen]

RIBS : Aemond x Reader x Lucerys Ch. 1 - Newcomer

A/N: This story is in the same universe as ABOUT YOU! Jacerys X Reader written by @tmbm123 PLEASE read their story, it's magnificent and I'm obsessed. Thank you for granting me the opportunity to write this story in the same timeline as your story.

I haven't read all the books in forever, so please keep in mind it will not stick to the books. I do not feel like re-reading the entire series. Also, considering Lucerys dies I will have to improv the plot. Thank you!

TW: THIS STORY WILL INCLUDE INCEST, SEXUAL CONTENT, ANGST, ABUSIVE TOPICS, EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION, POST PARTUM.

NOTES ARE APPRECIATED! (SHARES, LIKES, COMMENTS)

Word Count: 1857

Type: Semi-Slowburn (romantics will start early but things will happen to tear them apart)

Pronouns: she/her

Age: 18, Lucerys is aged up to around 18-19 as are the other boys.

MASTERLIST ( < this has more parts that can be found here!)

Chapter One

Newcomer

It wasn't uncommon to have political inquiries here in Storm's End, though due to the lack of anchoring ground on our farthest walls, no one showed up. Usually it was by letter, a messenger, so it was a shock to see a visitor in person. A shorter man, fluffy black hair that curved around his rounded face, doe-like eyes with a sincerity in his soul. Though, another had come before him for alliance. 

Aemond Targaryen, the younger brother of Lord Aegon, a tall man with a stern and face colder than Winterfell itself. His one-eyed gaze gives him a mysterious aura, making you almost recoil at the mere thought of contact. 

My father was Lord Borros Baratheon, his tongue as sharp as his sword. He made a good ruler, not as much a well-rounded father. My stomach churned as I peered around the corner, pressing my figure against the cold stone of the kingdom's walls. Biting my tongue and shooting my three sisters a glare as they shuffle anxiously. The idea of any offerings unsettled us; these men may bring our father land, and we were knowing of the fact we would be the trading prize.

The echo of the dim haired man's shoes filled the room, immediate tension growing in the air as the more unapproachable dragon rider gazed at his dear nephew. I felt sick, something wasn't right. Slowly, I leaned in, and peered into the throne room, growing curiosity tingling in my chest. 

"Lucerys Velaryon," Borros said in a dissatisfied tongue, his fake smile only adding to the crushing tension in the room. "To what do I owe this visit. I was just discussing you with Prince Aemond."

I watched the boy shrink slightly, clumsily, taking out a scrolled piece of paper. He went to open it, but father stopped him with a clear of his throat. Lucerys' eyes widened, swallowing hard and speaking up.

"My mother has sent me in regards to Storm's End's loyalty towards the Iron Throne, your pledged allegiance to her," He said, eyes trailing to Aemond. Lucerys puffed his chest slightly, trying to seem bigger than his fellow blood, who merely glared daggers at the smaller. He was here to pledge alligence to Aegon; now someone else was here to pledge my home to their side of this war.

Father sent a nearby messenger to retrieve the letter. I watched as they grabbed it, making their way back and whispering the contents of the page. Borros laughed softly, raising a brow at Lucerys.

"Aemond has blessed his hand for alliance with my kingdom. What do you bring, Lucerys Velaryon?" He growled, Borros' tongue like poison as he spoke the boy's name. I quickly looked to the man in question, who shuffled and glanced around. He swallowed hard, biting his lip and inhaling shakily. I felt bad for him; father was quite the pressuring soul.

"I too offer my hand. As the second rightful heir to the Iron Throne, after my brother Jacerys Velaryon, I will ensure your daughter is kept in good hands and bears strong children whomst will inherit the throne as dragon riders and storm chasers," he says with faltering confidence. My eyes widen, a panicked chattering from my sisters behind me. Swiftly, I shush them. When I thought he was done, he continued. "My father in marriage, Daemon Targaryen, is one of the best dragon riders to walk these grounds. I will make it be fully ensured your army will learn to become dragon riders in the moons to come, and we will secure our victory before the war had begun." 

I watched my father's face grow from amusement to consideration. A loud thundering boom echoed through the castle from the outside, informing us that the gods had sent more negative weather upon us. Aemond seemed to grow anxious, gripping at his tunic with a heavy huff of breath.

"I will consider both offers," he spoke carefully, making sure to articulate every word. "We will host a feast for the arrival of the princes as the storm clears. Your dragon's needs will be tended to for the times being. Any protests, speak now. You are free to flee Storm's End at any moment, but you cannot come back with your tail between your legs." He spits out the last sentence with disgust, signaling for the two to be taken from his sight.

My sisters scramble as the women lead the related to their appointed rooms; Aemond growing angrier with the woman by the second, his angered yells echoing through the corridors. 

I catch the gaze of the anxious boy, a small twinkle growing in his gaze when he spots me. I smile gingerly at him, to which he returns gratefully. That must be the kindest action he'd been gifted since he arrived. I wanted to guarantee he was comfortable.

After hours of not hearing a word from any side of the kingdom, I decided to take it upon myself to check on our visitors. I was surprised to see my dear sister Ellyn slipping from her chambers as well, blinking in surprise at the sight of me.

"(Y/N)! Dear sweet child, what are you up to?" Ellyn blurts out hastily. I rose a brow, frowning slightly.

"I'm off to check on our guests, make sure their quarters are full of nothing but comfort. What of you?" I question, crossing my arms. She sighs heavily, moving a strand of her black hair from her face.

"I'm set to wed Prince Aemond," she spoke weakly, making my heart ache for her. "I craved to know more of him if the marriage was to be set in stone. I hope you may not think less of me, dear sister." She smiles, I give her a smile in return, moving in to hug her. We embraced, the warmth contrasting the coldness inside the castle from the heavy rainfall outside. "Prince Lucerys' chambers are this way. Please, follow." She holds my hand, leading me to an elegantly carved door; the story of Storm's End rested on the wood. I smiled weakly, the engravings reminding me of my morals and purpose.

I knocked gently onto the wood, careful not to chip. Behind the door is scrambling, dropping of items and ruffling of cloth. The door swings open faster than I can react, hitting me in the face and making me stumble back. My vision blurred and I looked at the man who hit me, focusing slowly on him as he grew frantic. 

"Princess (Y/N)!" He spoke frantically, looking around to see if anyone saw our mishap. "I apologize sincerely your grace, I wasn't aware how fast the door would open." He rushes to me, my face sore but no chronic damage. He looked like a scared puppy, cowering slightly. "What can I do to make this up to you?"

I think for a moment, unable to think of anything clever. Slowly, I begin to laugh. Lucerys grows tense, looking at me with confusion, but then softening up when he realizes I'm not as angry as he thought. 

"Its quite alright, Prince Lucerys," I chuckle out, making him sigh in relief. "Just be more careful next time, alright?" I step into his chambers, his eyes following me as he nods slowly. "You may close the door, Prince." 

He steps into his room as well, closing the door behind him and standing a good distance from me. 

"I don't bite, no need to seem so petrified," I tease, Lucerys' muscles slowly losing the tenseness inside them. I look around the room, spotting a book that is in a tongue I don't understand. He must've brought it with him; it couldn't have been from our collection; we don't own anything of the sorts. My fingertips trace the cover and yellowed pages; it must be old. "How are you settling here in Storm's End?" He seemed to be trying to think of the most proper thing to say without offending me. I smiled, turning to him and patting the comforter beneath me. "My father can be quite the hard ass, I saw how tense you were." I try to ease him into being himself, watching him sit next to me and scanning my features to check if this was some sort of trap. When realizing it isn't, he leans back and groans quietly. 

"Is he always that scary?" He whimpers, making me laugh softly. I notice when my laugh hits his ears, he perks up with pride. It's quite adorable. I nod and watch him grumble and fall back into the sheets. I followed, laying next to him and flipping to my side, eyeing him sincerely. He would make a good friend. His presence was intoxicating. "I thought you were him, I was in such a rush to please I hadn't even thought for a second that it could be someone else."

My eyes grow wide, a giggle coming from me. "Prince Lucerys, you do realize this means you'd have hit my father rather than me?" I acknowledge, making his breath hitch as he realizes what could've happened. He laughs, a sweet and intoxicating laugh. I can't help but smile.

"Could you imagine? He'd have my head!" Lucerys says in a semi-panicked tone, making the realization settle in for me as well. I sigh in relief; it was only me. I could only imagine my father being the one struck by his inconsideration. "Well, I'm settling in quite nicely now. I thought you came to tell me he was sending me home. Hitting you with a door would've ensured my leave if that was the case." He drags his hands down his face, making me sit up and eye him curiously.

"You really need this, do you?" I ask, watching him search for the answer.

"I feel it's not my place to speak of this," he says, a sadness filling me. I understood he didn't trust me, since we had just met, but I was a curious person. I wanted an answer that was better than that. Slowly, I rose from the bed. 

"Well, I hope you can grow to tell me eventually," I smooth my dress as I speak, smiling a fake smile I've learned to perfect over the years. "My father is holding a feast for you and your blood when morrow arrives, I hope to see you there. As much as I hate to say, I must be taking my leave before father thinks I've been abducted." 

I watch as he sits up, nodding, and getting up to open the door for me. "It was nice meeting you, Princess," he speaks, watching as I step into the doorway before turning to him. 

"It was nice meeting you as well, Prince Lucerys," I say softly, giving my best curtsy. He thinks for a moment before grabbing my wrist as I begin to step out.

"Lucerys. I don't crave such titles with you," he swiftly said, my gaze softening.

"Lucerys," I repeat to correct myself, his gaze softening.

"See you when morrow comes, Princess (Y/N). I'll be looking forward to it." 

And with that, I left.

[kiivg]

tell me more about your tav??

.I’m so glad you asked 😘💕, I started fleshing out his backstory a while ago to give him more flavour and more reasoning behind his actions and abilities. And in doing that I half made up the idea of him being an NPC and what his major questline would be (considering I do like having both a Tav and Durge). Since I’m out there solving everyone elses’ problems I could at least have my own, or you know, give Tristan his own.

.Tristan, in his own right, is a bard, he went to bard college (Faerun has those right?) and spent a bit of time as a clown, mostly because it was fun for him and there were many happy parents who were… accommodating, shall we say, moving beyond that after a somewhat disparaging breakup with another bard (whomst he would later return to in Baldur’s Gate as a little cosy scene), he left and went adventuring, leaving his clowning days behind and stepping up as a more vulgar jester. Entertaining his audiences dressed in nothing but painted flesh and beguiling quips, and perhaps becoming far too acquainted with fleeing in the early morning hours to avoid angry spouses. Paint on the bedsheets was an easy tell on exactly who had spent the night there.

.His backstory, beyond his own, is that his Great Grandmother travelled to Thay to sate her appetite for necromancy, she wanted power beyond what she had, being something of an exceptional wizard, but not too exceptional that she could ever be considered the best in anything. There she met Buthek Maszim, a man eager to reach pure lichdom, and she was more than eager to help him for a fraction of his power. Or, so she said to him. In truth she wanted the power of a lich without becoming one herself, she was a wood elf after all, and her life would be long regardless. Buthek, however was only human, and his measly 80 or so years would not be enough for him. During the ritual, she sabotaged Buthek, halting the process and stopping him from obtaining what he had worked so hard for, and stole away parts of his body, hoping instead to command him at her will. His bones were forged into a grand flute that would serve as his phylactery and leash.

.A flute that didn’t actually work as intended. The great grandmother left Thay after the debacle, pregnant, lacking the lich power she desired, and unwilling to admit to her mistakes. She returned home and raised her daughter there. Not exactly giving up on her dream of power, but keeping it all hidden from the rest of her kin. Centuries passed, her daughter had a daughter, and Tristan was eventually born. A baby boy would looked so remarkably half-elven than many questioned who his father actually was. Granted he uses this to his advantage in the future, nobody really thinks he’s a true wood elf outside of his home, and he’s flippant enough to just relax into it. He doesn’t have the stigma of being a forest-dwelling hermit in the cities he yearns to explore, and half-elves, well, they’re easy, aren’t they? And Tristan is so very very easy.

.Now, he left home on his 100th birthday, stealing away into the night to pursue his bardic ambitions, giving himself the name Tristan Yarrow, and taking with him the ancestral flute of his family, amongst other things. The one the nobody knew was made from the bones of a lich in stasis. It’s harmless, right? Right? I mean, he thought so, he didn’t know, he doesn’t know (at least until Act 3) that he’s been carrying around a lich phylactery this entire time, he doesn’t know that every death that was even minutely graced by his music had it’s soul stolen and fed into the ever-waiting ever-strengthening arms of Buthek Maszim. A man biding his time until he could take over Tristan’s body, one half tainted by his own magic, and could finally achieve true lichdom.

.Of course there’s three endings to Tristan’s final quest, one good, one bad, and one considerably worse than bad. But that’s a whole other story.

.On a side note, idk anything about dnd elf names so… for now, him baby 🥰💕.