#now u know why he's my malewife

[sanjiafterhours]

Sanji supports women's rights but more importantly, he supports women's WRONGS

[luvrrgirl444]

chapter 20: girlboss and malewife

TWITTER, IRL!

“hi, my stars!” you said after you started the stream. you enjoyed streaming. you liked live interacting with your fans and how it was void of any editing.

“how are you guys?” you asked, looking at the chat.

rorymp4: better now that youre streaming

“aw, im flattered.”

xogopissgirl: UR SO PRETTY

“so are you, beautiful!”

slvtforconnie: GOOD WBY

“i’m great, thanks!”

flowergrrl: girl stop w the ‘special guest’ we know its eren 😒

you bit your lip to hide your smile, before jokingly rolling your eyes. “can y’all at least pretend to not know who it is?”

slvtforconnie: IS IT CONNIE???

peterparkersgf: dumb bitch she would not call connie a special guest

stupidvbtch: ITS EREN ISNT IT????

“as you all know, i have a special guest today. a lot of you already know who it is.” you rolled your eyes. “introducing the one and only, photography guy!”

eren let out an airy chuckle and sighed. “oh god, do not call me that. but, hello everybody. i was forced to be here.”

“yeah, he’s actually my hostage. you can’t see it, but his arms are handcuffed to the chair so he can’t leave.”

eren mouthed “help me.” to the camera, making you laugh.

“anyways. today we’re gonna play roblox, because this man has never played before. can you believe that?”

cartisimp77: who the fuck has never played roblox before

“literally what i said.”

“okay, chat what should we play first?”

sailormoonz: PLAY DA HOOD

user50: YES PLAY DA HOOD

“they’re saying da hood. you wanna play?”

“i have no idea what that is but yes.”

rorymp4: bro erens gonna get his ass killed

you laughed, putting your hand up to cover your smile.

eren looked over at you with suspicion. “what are they saying? why are you laughing?”

you pointed to the screen that was filled with the live comments from your viewers, making him look over.

user101: stop he’s so hot

slvtforconnie: might have to change my username bc omg..

peterparkersgf: YN GIRL U WON

user03: i want him to **** me until i *** all over his ****

“i want him to.. blank.. me until i ..blank.. all over his ..blank..” eren read out, his eyes slowly widening.

“wow, um. i will not be doing that, unfortunately , but um. i’m flattered?” he looked over at you.

“why are they all just like you?”

���

you were now both in a da hood server, immediately being greeted with the sounds of gunshots.

“i thought this was a kids game. what’s going on?”

he walked around and found people fighting and shooting.

“what the fuck is happening?” he shouted.

“eren, where the fuck are you?”

“i don’t know! there’s a literal brawl going on, what the fuck?” he tried to run away, before someone hit him with a knife.

“im being assaulted, y/n where are you?”

you looked at his screen before laughing at the sight. “i’m coming, calm down.”

“how do i defend myself? i don’t want to die,”

“press e!”

he stomped the person and attempted to run away.

“don’t worry, daddy’s home.” you said, as you took out one of your guns and shot at the player. after killing the person, you picked up eren and ran.

“why are you carrying me?” he laughed.

munkin4life: #breakinggendernorms

milesmoralesgffr: girlboss and malewife

🫧

- stream chapter!

taglist <3 : @greeniegreengreen @bakuhoes-bxtch @itzgabz22 @princess-jaeger @marsandsaturn @violenthots @roses-arerosies @conniesbbymama @llovergirlll @iheartamajiki @clipperlighter @liliorsstuff-blog @hoohoohope @akvrae @rinslutz @miniaturelunar @sheluvzeren @shigamiryuk @chamomilespetal @booistoleyou @asp7n @heartz444anna @thatartistshar0n @vintagexparker @tsukkisukkii @venusinx @seeingivy @cyberkitty1 @anitatvd

[whyse7vn]

MIDLIFE CRISIS -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JIMIN OLD ERA

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

namjoon: why are you guys so quiet today

what did you do??

just tell me so i can fix it pls and thx

hobi: idk I’m at the studio

y/n: omw to the studio so idk x2

jk: i am at home

tae: i am also at jungkooks home (and y/ns i would never forget u my queen i love ur house) maybe yoongi got into a fight again idk

yoongi: i am watching tv

not fighting

that was one time

hobi: didn’t you break woozi’s nose literally last week and harassed scoups a week before that?

jin: he also did knock out that one staff guy last month

namjoon: he did

and luckily when the guy woke up he couldn’t remember anything and didn’t sue

yoongi: you know about all that?

stop stalking me

freaks.

hobi: people talk yoongi!!!

tae: AND HE PUNCHED ME YESTERDAY

y/n: YOU BROKE WOOZI’S NOSE??????

tae: ok but yoongi also punched ME like who even is woozi when he’s at home????

yoongi: me but if i was ugly homeless untalented and had a broken nose

jin: yoongi is woozi’s evil twin

y/n: WHAT DID WOOZI EVER DO TO YOU??

yoongi: idk a woozi

namjoon: we are getting off track

jimin jin what did you do??

jimin: NOTHING I SWEAR IT WASN’T ME LITERALLY MAKING A SANDWICH RN

jin: i was cleaning haven’t done anything promise

namjoon: who is lying to me

pls tell me i really don’t have time for this rn

y/n: i vote jimin why is he shouting never trust a man that shouts

also tae get the fuck out my house rn

and can i get a little context about this woozi situation….

tae: cant wait for u to come home #sleepover

jimin: ITS NOT ME I SWEAR ALSO I THINK I BROKE MY PHONE I CANT TAKE CAPSLOCK OFF HELP

I VOTE JIN CUZ FYM UR CLEANING

jin: it means i me cleaning?

is he stupid? anyways i vote y/n cuz she’s a sick little liar and is probably causing problems

y/n: i’m literally in a car rn i’m not doing anything

YOONGI ANSWER UR PHONE RN

yoongi: read my message i sent you :3

hobi: i vote tae

jk: same

tae: wtf jungkook

jk: sorry u are taking real long in the toilet for all i know you could of jumped out the window and stabbed 46 people

tae: no cuz ur so right

but i haven’t btw namjoon if ur wondering

namjoon: ur all stressing me out

stop arguing

and NO sex talk please

jimin: ??????

yoongi: who is arguing?

jin: and who is talking about sex?

namjoon: oh

um okay

cool

good

yoongi: freak

hobi: yoongi about to send u this song listen to it pretty pls with a cherry on top >.<

yoongi: k

jk: guys pls someone bring me bread

i ate all my bread

y/n: will get some on my way home

yoongi i stg answer ur phone

jk: blushing

yoongi: :3333

jimin: PLS SOMONE HELP ME HOW DO I FIX THIS

jin: it’s probably a issue in ur settings

maybe idk

have you checked?

jimin: WILL DO THAT

namjoon: this feel extremely wrong

is everyone ok?

hobi: yes yes

yoongi: 👍🏻

jimin: YEAH

tae: yh

jin: yup

jk: yes mr namjoon

y/n: ofc !!

but woozi is not can we pls address the woozi situation yoongi did NOT answer me

namjoon: okay

why do i feel like something is wrong then

everything is wayyyyy to calm

it’s like

domestic almost

in a strange way

its unsettling

jin: then settle? idk what to tell you

jk: domestic malewife 🥺

my dream

y/n: ????

namjoon: no one is threatening to kill anyone

ur not taking about sex

nothing about feminism

or tae being broke

no jk vs yoongi

jin vs jimin????

hobi isn’t singing

no drug talk

and not one of you is on drugs right now??

guys be fr

what’s wrong?

jk: do you want me to get high rn??????

i can do it

if you want

i can

just say the word

namjoon: no wtf???

i would LIKE if you guys told me what the fuck you’re hiding from me

jin: let’s talk about what UR hiding joon

y/n: OMG WHY ARE WE NOT CONCERNED THAT YOONGI BROKE WOOZIS NOSE LIKE HELLO?????

namjoon: what i’m hiding????

i’m not hiding anything

jimin: IS IT FIXED NOW GUYS?

tae: when life gets tough you need to fix yourself

or you won’t be fixed

jk: woah

yoongi: what?

hobi: it’s cold as fuck toady

y/n: HIS NOSE HELLO??? ITS BROKEN

jk: tell him to fix it

because if he doesn’t fix himself he won’t be fixed

tae: the way jungkook just gets it 🥺

jin: don’t lie kim namjoon

namjoon: i really don’t know what ur talking about but ok??

anyways u guys are still bothering me but not in a i want to bash my head against a wall sense like normal

but in a are they being held at gun point sense

can you all snap out of it??

jk: don’t bash ur head joon

namjoon: im not

that is my problem

yoongi: sounds like you are

namjoon: you guys did something real fucked up didnt you that’s why ur acting like this

you can tell me

i wont get mad

hobi: ok can you shut up ohmygod

jimin: LITERALLY JOON UR GREAT AND ALL BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT PLS SHUT THE HELL UP

jk: can you not shout pls ur scaring people

jimin: I CANT HELP IT

jk: sorry i’m just a ugly pig then

yoongi: ur so dramatic

tae: don’t worry kookie small men often carry a large amount of rage that’s why jimin is shouting

don’t take it personal

jimin: ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME??

y/n: ok so you guys really don’t gaf about woozi???

jk: what is that???

yoongi: literally

tae: y/n can you also buy cheese for us when you come back

jk: cheese 🤤

y/n: whatever….

namjoon: wow ok

so

i’ll just go then?

jk: baiiii ^^ 💞✨

namjoon: no this feels so wrong

y/n: go take a nap joon

hobi: bros just yapping away like 💀

tae: GO

namjoon: did you guys kill someone?

be honest with me im begging

jin: maybe if we ignore him he’ll go away

jimin: fixed my keyboard

thank god amen #lifeisgood

namjoon: guys

jk: i’m a man not a guy

yoongi: what

hobi: do you think maybe this is his midlife crisis?

jin: i thought the whole rap monster thing was his midlife crisis

y/n: he was like 18 then?

jin: i didn’t expect him to live long

jimin: start of life crisis

tae: maybe namjoon himself is the crisis

namjoon: you guys are my crisis

y/n: we haven’t even done anything

namjoon: can you guys do something

hobi: ur really loosing it

namjoon: don’t make ME do something

hobi: wtf is namjoon threatening me rn?

jimin: what is the worst namjoon can do be fr

namjoon: i have like 127 snipers on ur house rn shut the fuck up

jimin: wtf???????

y/n: nct core

namjoon: me y/n and tae had a threesome

jk: WHAT??????????????

jin: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT

jimin: oh my actual god

tae: I HIT I HIT GUYS I DID IT ALL OF YOU THAT PRAYED ON MY DOWNFALL LOOK AT ME NOW LOOK AT ME

namjoon: but that’s not the first time we fucked

minus tae ofc

tae: wait what

hobi: oh wow

namjoon: on jungkooks birthday last year

yoongi: laughed

namjoon: and at a sleepover we all had at yoongi’s house

yoongi: oh

jk: WHAT THE FUCK

y/n: i am going to kill you

namjoon: i have almost asked her to be my girlfriend

y/n: what

namjoon: on multiple occasions

jk: THIS HAS TO BE FAKE OMGSHH2£:£!£3:;&;’cmnfkknfmfnc

y/n: namjoon

namjoon: i’ve tried to get taehyung kicked out of the group a total of 29 times

tae: WHY WTF

????

OMG

BETRAYAL OF THE CENTURY

WHAT THE HELL

jin: LMAO that’s crazy as hell

namjoon: i have never eaten a single dish jin has ever cooked for me

jin: ARE YOU SICK?????????

I SLAVE AWAY IN THE KITCHEN

AND FOR WHAT???

FUCKING UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT

NEVER COOKING FOR U AGAIN

WOW IM SO PISSED

FUCK YOU

UGLY FUCK

namjoon: when we debuted i believed jimin was the ugliest man i had ever seen and felt physically ill when people would flirt with him because wtf were they seeing??

jimin: WOW

WOOOOOW

wow

that’s crazy actually

do u even fw us be honest

hobi: definitely fw y/n that’s for sure!!!

ok i’m sorry i didn’t mean it i don’t want to know what you have to say im sorry i just saw the opportunity PLS IM SORRY IM SORRY

namjoon: ur mother used to send me money so i would hang with you

hobi: ur telling me our sunday bonding days weren’t actually sunday bonding days 🥲

namjoon: i wanted to shoot myself in the head

jimin: what the actual fuck is happening

jk: HES LYING HES LYING THERE IS NO WUAYS HES LYINGGGGGGG

namjoon: why would i be lying?

y/n: namjoon you need stop talking

yoongi: namjoon kill yourself

jk: YEAH KILL YOURSELF

namjoon: thank you

jimin: this is by far the craziest degradation kink i’ve ever seen

namjoon: argue

yoongi: you want us to argue?

are you high?

jk: HES HIGH HE IS I KNOW IT

HE WOULDNT SAY ALL OF THAT SOBER

tae: waittt namjoons first high 💞💞💞💞

jimin: that makes sense

he don’t even know what he’s talking about rn lmao

not even mad anymore

i’m happy for u bro

namjoon: no i definitely do know what i’m talking about

i just want you guys to act normal

tae: it’s okay ur doing great joonie

namjoon: I AM NOT HIGH STOP

y/n: you have to be cuz wtf

jk: im confused

namjoon: shut up

jk: why is namjoon fighting me

namjoon: i literally slept with y/n

jk: STOP IT MAKE HIM GO AWAY

PLEASE

jin: IDC IF HES OFF FUCKING COKE RN

he’s actually so fucked up and insane for saying that TO ME LIKE TO ME MY COOKING ARE YOU INSANE??????

what a SHIT leader…

hobi: i think maybe he needs to hug a tree rn

stay grounded or smth

yoongi: bro is off the trees rn wydm

namjoon: i am “off” absolutely nothing rn maybe i’m just really concerned for you all

and maybe just maybe it’s you guys’ fault for making me have to act and talk insane so YOU GUYS can act and talk insane and make me feel at peace in life

you made me like this

all you do is cause me stress

this is ALL UR OWN FAULT

tae: i am NOT reading that essay 😭

jimin: omg we are all literally being gaslit by kim namjoon rn what the actual fuck is life

namjoon: im sick of you all

ur ageing me

y/n: i think ur ageing urself tbh

hobi: life goes on man…

tae: tbh i think namjoon is going through a bad trip rn

like tell me he doesn’t sound high as hell

jimin: you’ve actually lost it namjoon

hobi: it was bound to happen

tae: it’s okay just hold ur breath until you pass out and when u wake up you’ll be fine

that’s how i stop a bad trip

namjoon: I AM NOT HIGH FOR THE LAST TIME

jk: that’s what i say when i’m high

just saying

yoongi: this is definitely that midlife crisis

namjoon: why are you not freaking out about me literally having sex with the girl your in love with

yoongi: ur high and idc

jk: I CARE

i don’t believe you joon 😡

y/n: this is not life rn…..

hobi: are all four of you not in love with her wow thats kinda insane

y/n rizz go crazy

jimin: why don’t you all just like idk

date????

hobi: omg wait i wanna date too don’t leave me out this time 🥺🫰🏼

yoongi: i’ll pass

MY girl idk if you get that or not

jimin: but she’s-

ok

whatever

ur all fucked up idc

might as well all fuck but fuck me right???

ur girl no ur so right i need to just shut my mouth

sighs looks left looks right

idiot

namjoon: you all make me sick

jimin: literally do not care

jk: do you need a hug namjoon?

namjoon: absolutely not shut the fuck up

jk: oh 🥲

yoongi: so ur just really fucking mean high?

sucks

namjoon: IS HELL FROZEN OVER YOONGI BASICALLY JUST DEFENDED JUNGKOOK LIKE WHAT????? GUYS ARE YOU SEEING THIS???

hobi: who sold you this weed man..

we need to get them

jimin: he probably got sold cocaine got told it was weed and took it all

jin: yikes

sleep it off joon!!

namjoon: I HATE YOU ALL

omg

guys

i’m going to kill myself

….

now you say good or like do it or we won’t miss you

jin: who hurt you??

namjoon: YOU GUYS DID

YOU GUYS DO

ALL THE TIME ACTUALLY

WHY ARE YOU NOT DOING THAT NOW

jk: he wants us to tell him to kill himself?

namjoon: YES

y/n: he’s actually loosing his mind wow

hobi: he’s literally on another universe rn

jin: i’ll actually kill you instead of telling you to kill urself how about that!

namjoon: SHUT THE HELL UP

yoongi: does he want us to argue or stfu??? i don’t get it anymore

y/n: ur really like being insane rn joon

jimin: this a high that NEEDS to be slept off…

namjoon: there is no way u guys are being fr rn…

you guys are fucking with me

WHY IS IT AN ISSUE WHEN I SAY SOMETHING OUT OF LINE

hobi: you said MANY things out of line

namjoon: BUT YOU GUYS CAN TALK ABOUT HOW TAE HAD SEX WITH A RANDOM GIRL IN ALLEY FOR FREE FOOD AND NO ONE SAYS SHIT?????

tae: THAT IS NOT TRUE BTW

NAMJOON TELL THEM ITS NOT TRUE

namjoon: YOU GUYS ARE LITERALLY AT EACH OTHERS THROATS EVERY DAY AND WHEN I QUESTION WHY UR ALL BEING NORMAL I GET LOOKED AT FUNNY???

y/n: this is us normal?

I WAS LITERALLY TALKING ABOUT HOW YOONGI BROKE MY FRIENDS NOSE IS THAT NORMAL TO YOU???

tae: namjoon just used that fake scenario as an example IT IS NOT TRUE

namjoon: everyday you all push me closer to suicide

yoongi: ok?

idk what you want us to do at this point

namjoon: i don’t know either

yoongi: ok??

namjoon: ok

jk: OK 😋

namjoon: i think i’m gonna go now

namjoon left “JIMIN OLD ERA”

jimin: lmao i NEED to find out what he’s smoking that was crazy

—

i hate this actually.

tags: @piw6n @jvmisvu @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz

[cannedbeefaroni]

What's the betting that mr manipulate, mansplain, malewife, Calvin acts like a pissy, jealous little brat when he wants your attention and/or he wants you to hate fuck him. And you know what it would work everytime, like call me a fucking slut again you whore I dare you.

He can't keep getting away with it!!

I LIKE YOUR THINKING ANON LEMME WRITE THIS

Summary: Your boyfriend is an annoying brat so you try to put him in his place.

Content: SMUT (MINORS, DO NOT INTERACT), SLUTSHAMING, DEGREDATION, HATEFUCK, femdom, malesub, switch, maledom, femsub, oral sex, p in v sex, Calvin is a piece of shit

Reader is referred to as you/yours and has AFAB genitalia

There you were, lounging on Calvin’s couch in deafening silence. You could hear a wall clock somewhere in the house ticking, and it was driving you insane. You tried to keep to yourself, doing whatever on your phone to occupy yourself while he sat across from you on his laptop, shaking his leg. You glanced over at him, noticing how clearly still upset he was, and you sighed, realizing you had to address the situation once again. 

“Cal, what’s on your mind,” you shoved your phone in your pocket, turning all your attention towards him, but he remained preoccupied. 

“What do you mean? I’m absolutely fine,” he said nonchalantly with a slight sarcastic tone. 

“Oh my g- Cal, if you’re gonna act like a baby over this then you’ll never get over it,” you spat while walking over to him to shut his laptop and force direct eye contact. He rolls his eyes. 

“Look, I’m just saying, am I so wrong and crazy for being mad about you talking to men who are clearly trying to flirt with you? Especially right in front of me?” he whined, making your blood boil. 

“What the hell are you talking about? All this just because one guy was bothering me today?”

“Yeah, well, you were engaging him.”

“Because he wouldn’t leave me alone! God, what was I supposed to do?” you crane your neck downward, glaring at him sitting so smugly on the couch looking up at you. 

“I dunno, maybe yell at the guy ‘hey, fuck you, I have a boyfriend, fuck off’ and don’t make them think they have a chance with you?” he jeers.

“I don’t wanna cause a scene in public! I’m not an immature brat like you.”

“Yeah, well at least I’m not a slut,” he says under his breath, causing you to laugh.

“Oh yeah? Huh? Tell me how you really feel, Calvin. Go ahead,” you exclaim with a mixture of anger and amusement. He shrinks into his seat, but he’s still smiling. 

“I bet you did that on purpose. You knew what you were doing when you decided to go out today in that tiny dress. I could see your whole world in that thing, and I’m pretty sure everyone else could too!” his bratty tone was grating. You seethed, staring at him with narrowed eyes. 

“If you’re trying to get on my nerves it’s working,” you say through gritted teeth. “What are you trying to get out of this?” you lean against the back of the couch, pinning him in place with your arms on either side of him.

“You’re the one making this into a big deal,” he whispers. 

“Do you like it when I get mad at you?” you lean in, staring him down. You begin crawling onto the couch, your knees pressing into the edge of the cushions. “Because right now I wanna kill you.” 

“No,” he sinks into the couch, tensing up. 

“Then why won’t you stop fucking smiling?” your face inches closer to his as you sneer. 

“Because you’re cute when you’re mad,” he grins at you, pushing you over the edge.

“Shut the fuck up,” you slap your hand over his mouth, and he gasps against it. He looks up at you with wide eyes. “Are you kidding? This is really what you wanted out of all this?” you stare into him, and he nods frantically. “You little shit-” you push him down against the couch and climb on top of him, tightly pinning him down. He whimpers with each of your movements, making you lash out, telling him to shut up again. You bring yourself up so you’re sitting on his chest, dangerously close to his face. You pull off your panties from under your skirt, and toss them aside. You get up and hover over his head. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Y-yeah,” he whines under you. 

“Then you’re gonna have to beg for it, slut,” you spat, resting your upper body on your elbows as you kept your pelvis elevated in position. 

“Please, sit on my face,” he mumbles breathlessly. 

“You can do better than that. After that stunt you pulled, you gotta try harder,” you tease. 

“P-please… ma’am,” he whispers. 

“What?”

“Please! Please fuck my face, ma’am. Please let me be your good boy,” he cried out, body convulsing with each breath, making you laugh. 

“God, you sound so stupid when you get like that,” you taunt as you lower yourself, sitting on his face. The second his mouth makes contact, he mouths at your clit, licking it. You don’t hold your weight and let yourself onto him, and he doesn’t oppose. He wraps his arms around your thighs as he eagerly laps you up. His tongue drags to your hole, licking it in circles before sticking it in. He’s madly making out with your pussy as fluids drip down his chin, and you just hang your head down, watching him grovel underneath. His tongue fucks you frantically, and his lips suck on your folds.Your fingers lace through his hair, pushing it back to get a better view of his desperate eyes, then you grab it forcefully. He whines into your pussy as you ride his face. Desperately, he stares up at you, eyes glimmering. You throw your head back in ecstasy, moaning loudly as he whimpers against your pussy. “You better not be fucking touching yourself, you little whore,” you look behind yourself to see his lower half, and he’s palming himself over his pants. You clench your thighs around his face, suffocating him. He squeals, flailing around a little before tapping your thigh to stop. You lift yourself up, letting him catch his breath. His face is beet red, his glasses are askew and slightly fogged up, and the area around his mouth is soaked. “You’re so much prettier when you shut the fuck up,” you coo at him, demeaningly. 

You move down his body and sit on his thighs so you can pull his pants down. His cock springs out, harder than you expected it to be. It bobs against his stomach, red and dripping with precum. You watch it twitch before giving it a few jerks. “So easy. You’re ready to cum just from me sitting on your face.”

“I’m not even close,” he smirks, causing you to grip him tightly, making him whimper in pain. 

“I’d fuck you, but I don’t know if you can even last a minute like this,” you demean as you tightly and slowly stroke his cock. 

“I can last!” he whines. You let go of his aching dick, and he moans desperately at the lack of contact. You grind on his cock torturously slow, and his breathing hitches. Your hand finds his neck, grabbing it as you rut your hips in a circular motion. 

“Are you gonna quit being a little brat and be a good boy for me?” you sneer.

“Mmh,” he turns his head, looking away. 

“Look at me,” you grab his face, squishing his cheeks as you force him to look at you. 

“Mhm. Yes ma’am,” he nods. 

“Good. I wanna use this pretty cock of yours,” you hum, listening to him mewl in pleasure from the way you degrade him. 

You lower yourself onto his swollen dick slowly as he gasps from the sensation. His mouth hangs open as he throws his head back. You began riding him shallowly, leaning forward directly over him, trapping him between your arms. You loosen your hips, swinging them in a circular motion, skin slapping against skin. You grind your hips down on him, taking him deeper, causing him to exhale sharply. His hips twitch as he leaks into you. He stares up at you desperately. 

“Oh my god- fuck, please don’t stop- don’t stop,” he cries, hands gripping your thighs, fingers digging into your skin. 

“I thought you weren’t even close?” you smirk, bringing your face down to his. You slow your pace, making him groan viscerally from your long, deep strokes. 

“Fuck, you won’t stop clamping down,” he grunts while grabbing onto your hips for dear life. 

“You can’t cum until I say so,” you giggle, slowing your pace, grinding yourself on his base. He continues to grip your body with clawed fingers, grabbing at the fat of your thighs and ass. You lean down and place a sloppy kiss on his wet lips, and his hand comes up to grab the back of your neck, keeping you firmly against him. His lips part as he tilts his head, shoving his tongue down your throat. You make muffled moans against his mouth as he fucks you hard and quickly. He pulls his cock all the way out and shoves it back in all at once, making you squeal. 

“I’ll just have to make you finish first,” he pants against your lips before messily making out with you again. 

“Ugh! I hate you!” you whine, putting your head on his shoulder as he fucks you visciously with his arms squeezed around your waist. You felt like you were losing at a game of who gets to dominate.

“Yeah? You hate me so much you wanna cum all over my cock?” 

“You’re so fucking annoying!” 

“You love how I annoy you,” he grunts in your ear. You lift yourself up, hovering over him as you let your ass bounce on his lap as he fucks you. He stares at your tits as they swing in rhythm with your body, spilling from the low neckline of your top. He moves his hands up your body to your chest, groping you. You gasp as he fondles the tender flesh, and pulls your top all the way down to play with your hardened nipples. “Fuck, you’re getting so close, I can feel it.”

“Shut up!” you cry, squeezing your eyes shut from the overstimulation. You feel his lips latch onto your breast before he sucks and bites gently on it, marking the skin. 

“Come on. Cum for me,” he pulls your head down to whisper against your lips before viciously kissing you, throwing you over the edge. You scream, unable to keep your voice down. Every muscle in your lower half tenses, putting his dick in a vice. Your cunt throbs around him, and you grab his shoulders so tightly your fingers dig into them. In the midst of your orgasm, he pulls out and lifts you off of him, making you sit on your knees, blissfully unaware of him standing up in front of you. You desperately finger yourself, feeling empty, while you stare up at him pumping his cock over your face as his eyes narrow down at you. He grabs your jaw and forces your mouth open before blowing his load all over your face. It shoots out hard, and there’s a lot. You gasp and pant as he rubs the tip of his cock on your tongue to get every last bit out. Once he’s done, he glares down at you with your tongue out for a moment before telling you to swallow, and you do so thickly, cringing at the sour taste. 

“That’s not fair! I was trying to be dominant!” you whine. 

“Try harder next time,” he wipes the cum from your lip with his thumb, then brings it to his mouth, sucking it clean.

[sethcertified]

「 SLASHERS REACTIONS TO THEIR FANDOMS ! 」 . . . 📂

slashers : various

wrd count : 1.2k

⊹˚.⋆ synopsis . . . how slashers would react to their fandoms

⊹˚.⋆ starring . . . patrick bateman, bo sinclair, vincent sinclair, billy loomis, stu macher, brahms heelshire, & billy lenz

⤷ patrick bateman

okay this is going to be fun

his (already huge) ego gets boosted sm by the like "sigma" edits and shit of him

not to be cliche but the “I bet paul allen doesn't ___” sort of comments make him feel so high and mighty

and seeing how many people find him hot? god he would become even more insufferable

BUT HERES THE FUN PART

he delves more into the patrick bateman edits and stuff and that's when he finds the satirical shipping, cutesy edits, etc

he sees himself and the word "babygirl" put together and has a full blown meltdown

god it’d be so funny cause it's literally 50/50 in the fandom so he couldn't separate one from another if he even tried

AND THE SHIPS

oh, he would just be gagging at the louis x himself ships

idk I feel like he would go "take this down now 🤬”

he's so edgy 12 year old boy yk

AND THE EDITS

patrick practically passing out when he seems himself edits with anime blush and cat ears

his masculinity was already bruised by the ships and now this?

he 100% posts some of the edits about him on his socials

he also sends the links to these vids to people he dislikes to prove his "fame"

the fame goes to his head but he gets humbled when he sees everyone calling him "my pathetic malewife bbg 💕”

⤷ vincent sinclair

I just love vincent sm and so does his fandom

I have not once met someone who hates vincent

he is so insecure and humble and just deserves to see everyone complimenting him and his wax figures

he loves his fandom to say the least

and they absolutely adore him

definitely gets confused by some of the compliments he gets

example a: "If he doesn't want me to slut him out, why waist so slutty?"

^^ yes I did find that on here

is in disbelief ppl can find him attractive let alone say things sexual about him

he has rlly rlly low self esteem okay

if he ever tried to interact with his fandom online I have two different directions in my head

IS AWFUL ON THE PHONE

typos and everything

but it's so sweet

"THank yu 🙂"

he has big fingers and struggles to type ^^ or if he gets adjusted it's perfect grammar "I appreciate you for this. Thank you so much."

hes just a big ol boy getting the praise he deserves

⤷ bo sinclair

this one is a bit tricky

he isn't too phased by the compliments unlike his brother

he knows he hot

so "daddy" "so hot" compliments r not new to him

BUT I think stuff like | want to see him whimper" will make him feel VERY FLUSTERED

like awkward coughing and hiding his face flustered

but he doesn't get a bigger boost in his ego

I feel like it doesn't go to his head cause he is already pretty confident in his looks yk

but seeing people appreciate him for his personality?

like talking about how charming and husband material he is

it definitely gives him more hope that he's worth more than his looks & that he means something

this one is short but he wouldn't interact with the fandom

or he’ll barely scrap the surface so he doesn’t see the weird stuff…

like he seems so Facebook dad to me

basically he is tolerates his fandoms cs he’s only seen the tip of the iceberg

⤷ billy loomis

ANOTHER TRICKY ONE

billy is so tricky for me tho

honestly it goes to his head

seeing ppl in awe about him ^^

he's a slasher fan too so he is more active in other fandoms if that makes sense

but he does like to delve into theories and discussions about ghostface and the scream franchise with members of his fandom

rlly enjoys knowing he is considered one of the "well known" slashers

honestly he feels threatened by danny johnson from DBD because when u search ghostface a lot of content surrounding him pops up a long with stu and billy

billy wants everyone to know he’s the ghostface

he loves the fame basically

I do get the feeling he hates the image ghostface has tho

like the "thirst traps"

he's just the type of guy who calls people "posers" and "fake fans"

so that rily irritates him

if you know a lot about slashers/ghost face he's chill

he likes his fandom but there's definitely outliers with the people who know ghostface but not who's behind the mask

he wants the notoriety

⤷ stu macher

LOVES HIS FANDOM

he loves being worshipped by his fandom

all compliments, all fanart, all of it he loves

teases Billy sometimes about the posts

sends scream memes to his friends

feels guilty tho when he sees posts about his and Tatum's relationship

like that's the only downside for him

he responds to fans, tells "insider" stuff, etc

Stu is very active in his fandom

he thrives off of it essentially

definitely set up a cameo or something at one point and says his iconic lines from the movie

+ try's to get fan service out of Billy

hes like an obnoxious youtuber

REPOSTS EVERYTHING

edits? yes

fanart? yes

fanfic..?

yes.

he's not rlly sad either that billy gets more attention than him cs if you love stu you LOVE stu

calls his fandom "machiacs"

cause macher + maniac

but he does think he's more famous than he actually is

like if someone doesn't recognize him he'll go "I'm THE stu macher"

fanservice king!!!

⤷ billy lenz

no shame at all

he will repost smut/hentai of him

loves his fandom cause they're as equally as horny as he is

but I think he does see that he is desirable in more ways when he finds like fluff imagines

loves his fanart the most

he would try and redraw the fanarts but they turn out horribly

he 100% try's to interact with his fandom

key word is try

he doesn't type but does the voice to text thing

so all his replies and post end up

JEJSNSBSHSISJJSNS *insert heavy breathing* HSHDNDJSJSK

his poor phone can't keep up :(

he doesn't understand the fandom but he loves them

"billy boy my beloved ❤️”

^^ those are his favorite types of fandom interactions

⤷ brahms heelshire

refuses to have internet

straight up refuses

but I feel like he's the only one who would dislike his fandom

and i mean actively dislike

if he saw how many people call him "stinky wall boy"

let's just say he would have a fit

only thing he would like is people saying he's better than other male characters

but literally that's it

hates everyone and everything about his fandom

he thinks of them as lowly or without class

its just best if he never finds out about his fandom

✎ notes . . . yes, this is a repost. tumblr deleted my old acc >:( ◯　　🖖🏻　　⭒　　⧆

©️ sethcertified 2023

[frenchkanna1808]

WHAT YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS SAYS ABOUT YOU: YTTD EDITION

PART 1) THE PARTICIPANTS

SARA CHIDOUIN:

You can’t stop praising her about how amazing of a protagonist she is compared to other protags in similar games such as danganronpa. You would and WILL fight anyone that says anything bad about your homegirl an you DEFINITELY need therapy

JOE TAZUNA:

You have the terrible habit of falling immediately in love with the best friend archetype that we met in the beginning who’s clearly gonna die. When they die you keep telling yourself you won’t be fooled again and then you do. Anyway you are in denial

KEIJI SHINOGI:

You keep justifying you love for him by using the “he’s a complex character, he’s deep and shit” but that’s just an excuse to not say “i want him to carnally fuck me and treat my little bitch with his huge arms and tits”. Whatever sexuality you were before, his deep look probably turned you gay. Anyhow you are horny as fuck and you definitely need therapy, you little whor-

REKO YABUSAME:

Either you are the the most gay motherfucker on the planet or you’re veeeeeeeeeeery straight.  you’re favorite ship is naoreko. NEVERTHELESS you want her to step on you. 

Q-TARO BURGERBERG: 

there is exactly two type of q-taro fans, The meme lord or the 20 page Reddit post defending his character from any criticism. We allllll know which ever type of fan you are, you cried like a baby in his final moments.

 KAZUMI MISHIMA:

You definitely made every possible outcome in ytts, an replayed it multiple times. You probably follow  “ mishima-in-places-he-shouldnt-be” and is still sad that this gentle loving dude had to die first why it is. always. the. cool. dudes. who. dies. first., WHY, WHY NANKIDAI ?

KANNA KIZUCHI: 

You are awesome, smart, and just the perfect person to be around, you’re aura smells pure awesomeness, no, NO i am not biased.at.all it’s not like  she’s my profile picture. 

In all seriousness, you probably crave any green bling content and also loves shin too but kanna passion and pure kindness made you make the choice to kill shin. It seemed to difficult to vote for a kid so you voted shin. You relate to kanna struggles And ADORES her character development in 3b. Also you definitely need many therapy session (not projecting at all) .

NAO EGOKORO: 

If being a joe fan is sadness, a greenbling fan depression, well being a nao fan is literal despair and anger with anguish. Bro what the fuck did she do to have such an horrible end like that, her entire experience in the death game was  a pure nightmare. Homegirl did nothing wrong, she shouldn’t literally even be here dude😭😭. You have only one consolation is that now she’s in heaven with her girlfriend, also obviously you ship naoreko

GIN IBUSHI:

You are right in fact you are 99.99 percent of the fandom. And i know that if one day you see anyone put gin below S tier or say anything relatively negative about him, you WILL find them, you WILL track them , and you’re gonna BOIL THEM ALIVE. And i will probably cheer you so go on, pop off, girlboss or mansplain bestie !  

KAI SATOU:

You are mesmerized by his beautiful aura and luscious long mane. Every time the characters talk about him you feel so much happiness that his sacrifice was in the end really worth it, but still you cry that the cutest malewife had to go first.

ALICE YABUSAME:

His atrocious hair made you burn your eyes, his cringe fail personality made you laugh but his death destroyed you entirely. In the end you fell for this transmasc king. If you played logic rote you probably died a second time lol.

S H I N  T S U K I M I:

Shin tsukimi, oh, Shin Tsukimi the character of all time. So from what i understand he’s your favorite character. Were you the weird kid in your class when you were in high school or that one queer kid that tried to hide your identity but everyone knew just by a single look? Just by looking at you i can see a lot of self loathing and unaddressed personal issues that you try hiding under a rug instead of actually addressing them. Do you take time to eat, to drink, don’t forget to take a break from negativity when you are at your lowest, okay ? Diagnosing you is pretty hard you probably have a thousand problems but at least, i hope, not as much as this little dumbass.                                           There is two type of shin fans:

-the one who want to punch him, shove him into a locker and bully him 

-the one who want to give him a warm hug, a nice soup and a good night of sleep.                                                                                                                    In both cases, you are exactly like him and projecting so hard onto him. Also you are supeeeeeer gay like extra gay. Like your aura smells GAY you know. No cis het allo kinnie of shins exist actually, it’s as possible as dividing 0 by 0.  

So conclusion go to therapy

KUGIE KIZUCHI:

Ao3 is your god, your lord and everything that you need to live. Every time ao3 get down you die inside. You crave any content of her and wish that we can know more in the future about her (i do too) and you probably feel in love with her trough fanfic.

MEGUMI SASAHARA:

You guys exists? Well you like evil boss woman, i guess.

This shit full of errors and mistakes also this is a joke don’t get offended, remember as a greenbling fan i am probably the least respected type of yttd fan, well above the keiji simps you guys are wild. 

[midnxght-sweet-time]

Beta Riddle fic??????? 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Im on my knees pls tell us more 👉👈

Yes Im working on a Beta Riddle fic-

I swear I have scour the whole entirety of social media and have only found TWO fics of Beta Riddle and about five fanarts at best. IM DESPERATELY CRAVING FOR SOME BETA RIDDLE EVEN IF HIS NOT CANON- I WANT HIM AS LIKE A SIDE CHARAC OR SMTHG T^T

On that note, i have decided the best way is to just feed myself. Dont get me wrong I love the strawberry ant boi we have now but like-

The concept of Riddle? Being spoiled and bratty???

Can no one see how unhinge he couldve been? How even more satisfying it will be to defeat him when he OB?

Sadly my fic wont include any OB (unless I think of an idea to shove it in) but I'll give a brief— I always wondered how we would have to sympathize with Riddle even if he is a spoiled brat. Cuz keep in mind the whole goal of Twst is to litterally tame all these rowdy hormonial teens with i s s u e s.

Beta Riddle out of all them— if we replace him with canon Riddle into the canon universe, seems like the most well off dorm leader compare to the rest. Until when you realize, sometimes even the most brattiest person, the one who has been given alot since childhood can be neglected.

Aksjaksjaksk ALLOW ME TO BRAINROT RANT— I see Beta Riddle as touch starved- (as he should be lmao cuz twst is a 'non otome game' right ?) He was given everything as a child. He had a choice to not study, he got all the most expensive luxuries, all the toys, got a tart for his birthday, etc etc. What every child dream off- hell I wont be surprise beta Riddle's mom lets him eat ice cream before dinner.

But the one thing Riddle has never been given all throughout his life, was genuine care.

Cheesy ik- but heres what I hced/imagined:

Ever since young, beta Riddle is just as isolated as canon Riddle. Only the reason his so isolated is because his homeschooled by a hired teacher. His mother is always away busy with work so she never had much time for him. She spoils him with toys and gifts he wants to keep him happy but never bothered making time to give him what he needs. I imagined beta Riddle as a child used to be as hardworking at canon Riddle but overtime when he realized his efforts were only glossed over by his mom, he slowly starts to despise studying. Its like Leona's case where, he knows his mom wont even celebrate with him no matter how many A's he filled up his exams.

Might as well stop trying and seek attention elsewhere which is why when he came to NRC, the first time he ever get a chance to be in a crowd or what was considered public. He probs took the role as dorm leader of Heartslabyul because the old leader was a sticker for rules which is why it was so easy to grab that position when you can just cheat. Besides.. it doesnt seem the dorm members care much for these rules. Just break them all and call it a day.

Yes he has a chance to be with Trey and Chen'ya but they feel more like servants to him then friends. Especially Trey. But what can they do? They cant tell if Riddle cares for them enough to listen to them. And besides, Chen'ya probably gets a kick in making Riddle mad and flustered while Trey is just the 'I dont get paid enough for this shit—' babysitter. We already know Trey didnt bother stepping up to Riddle and smack some sense into him til he OB, tf is my baker boi gonna do with this bratty boi? Just let the man bake his tarts and be a malewife. All that problem solving goes to the one darling Riddle falls for and is desperately seeking their attention even if it were an act of defiance or looks of disgust >;3

This fic will take me a couple of weeks or more to complete cuz I only have the planning on board but how I will execute this writing will be slightly difficult.

[bastionbibi]

Question if it’s okay to ask: what is it that made Akai one of your favourites? Or at least someone that’s cool in your book

Man.... This is like asking why I love soup.  Ok, I'm not sure if I can stay coherent but I'll try, 

Ive been reading detco on and off since I was a was a wee child and even back then he was already one of my favorites because I like mystery, and he was the definition of that. 

And this way before the revelation that he was a good guy too. There was this moment of 'yeah, okay, this is it, he's the one (that im not gonna be normal about)'. Specifically, I fell in love in that one scene where he met ran on a snowy night, something about that scene was just so striking, especially something about him that, despite how intimidating he sounded or looked, didn't set off any alarms in Ran, that was the point where I knew there's more to this character, and that I love him. 

On another lighter note. I like his shinigami aesthetic, his one liner and lack of facial expression, I like his lonewolf tendency, how weirdly dependable he is and yet, he's not, in any way shape or form, charming. 

Like that time where he confronted Gin for the first time, he could've told Jodie and Conan that he had a plan to elude the BO but he didn't, he acted alone, he's extremely slow to trust but when he does, he pledge to them his true loyalty. I mean, Conan was just a child in his eyes (even though now he knows him as Shinichi), and yet since he decided to trust him, he never dismissed his words or treat him like a liability despite his 'age'. 

When he trust people, he cherished them in his own ways, and that's what I find commendable. 

He's ANNOYING. An asshole 75% of the time, we never got more backstory about him and Akemi because I refuse to believe this man with the personality as hard to love as the taste of blue cheese could land not 1 but 2 amazing ladies like cmon now. I hate how he treated Jodie but I have no doubt he would take a bullet for her if need be, I guess that’s why Jodie still likes him too to a degree but he didnt deserve her tbh (<- says the girl who will still reblog redstarling fanart whenever it crosses my dash). 

The same can be applied to his ‘rivalry’ with Rei, it doesn't matter what his true reason was, he decided that night, when he was holding the bleeding gun of a man he failed to save, he would keep the truth away from Rei and he stick by that decision till now, Rei did everything in his power to literally hunt him down over a misunderstanding and he didn't care, come hell and high waters and he will still keep Rei away from the truth because that's what he decided to do and he keeps his promises, especially ones made to himself. 

I suppose I like him because outside of 'work', while he keeps people on a distance, you don't have to second guess on where you stand, there's a sort of ease in that. 

As the story progresses, we get to see reasons as to why he ended up this way and that was pretty entertaining, seeing how affectionate he can be to his siblings and what happened in his past to make him go the extreme lengths of being an agent to another country and infiltrating a deadly organization etc, it fleshes him out, it makes me excited to see where he'll end up next. 

Also, he looks kinda handsome ngl 

ON ANOTHER NOTE!! He's also just- Really weird?? 

Like ok, sure, he faked his death like one would do but he came back from the grave as a guy 5 years younger with pink hair that's taking his masters?? Hello???? Has he even been to college before like I legit wonder if he knows how hellish a masters program is AND, I know this is based on a situation that's out of his control, out of all the personalities he can embody, he chose to be a milfy malewife who's always ready to babysit others?? Dedication to the bit is unmatched. 

(Also bc i hc him as conans dad and made a whole series about it, thats fun!)

(Anyway if youre in the gc dont u dare call me a simp i am not . ) 

[seelestia]

YES YOU DID BAKE?? AND YOU BAKED WELL 😤😤 also yes!! navia reminds me a lot of a daffodil because of her sunny disposition and she's just so cute?? (i probably spend a couple hours poking around for a suitable color palette for my theme ajfjsj but for now im sticking with a cottagecore look)

same here! and speaking of puns, cyno is also very likely to enable the both of us given how goofy he is off-duty and the number of times i've made him absolutely crack after he admonishes me for distracting him ehehe. as for bedo, he finds them just as funny (and canonically does too EHE) and will often give this cute lil giggle sjdjksdhhs. lyney loves my puns as well and will openly laugh about it. tighnari will scold cyno for rubbing off on me oopsies. anyway, i have a sneaking suspicion ayato does enjoy your puns since they can be used as a good distraction if he's stressed eheh. kuni doesn't surprise me as much tsk-tsk (bonk him on the head for that /hj /aff)

bet heizou would take the chance to rizz you a little knowing his playful nature

anyway! i'm happy that i was able to help in some way eheh >:3 but yeah, assignments usually are the staple of college life but they aren't generally too bad? minus the 8-page research paper i have to write for my mass media survey class online and luckily i poked around for some sources beforehand i'm usually good about not procrastinating but sometimes i kind of just need to ease my head into the working mindset by texting on discord sjjfshhd but yea it can be painful 💀 (btw ur more than welcome to ask me more questions abt college if u want :>) and i wish u lots of luck too!

yk thats the thing with 'bedo, not a lot of people can catch his eye and i just so happen to get his attention. and according to him, he said that i "stood out in a way that added color to his world" EJFJRHJW. yk, i just let the charm come instinctively? i don't rlly have to do anything but i have been told by a lot of people that i'm cute/naturally pretty. but rlly i would just say be yourself c: as cheesy as it sounds but it works hehe. as for lyney, he does always makes some sort of magic trick out of it and frankly it always leaves me a puddle of melted goo on the floor because of how shy i am (tyty!! also yes im a sucker for softer-pitched voices)

hey i'm sure yato wouldn't mind spoonfeeding you when you're all groggy from a long night (dw im a night owl too i can relate) , but something tells me he won't let you hear the end of it if he does /aff. i'd scold wanderer for being mean to you /lh, but at least he's willing to cook for you! (malewife *coughs*) or yk give his ear a little tug when he tells you he'll demote you to the floor-

okok so by now i think you can tell that i'm an anthophile or yk, a person who adores flowers and hence why i live in a cottage doing forest witchy stuff over there with my greenhouse and garden ehsjdjs. but anyway, you kind of just gave me the impression of a camellia? (if you caught my little pun there) if that makes sense ehhe. also i thought of the kamisato clan crest as well bc thats a camellia too, tsubaki (椿) ehehe. anyway! i like that notion of wanderer picking flowers when he's out and about in sumeru, i think it shows that he does have a gentle side (not that he'd willingly admit it but it shows in his actions) and i think you should surprise him with a garden of your own! >:3

'bedo and lyney take turns making breakfast for me! they have the full intention of spoiling me even after i told them they didn't have to because i'm used to being on the giving end if that makes sense? but they're so sweet about it i can't say no >_<

NO CUZ THATS EXACTLY HOW IT IS WHENEVER MY BF AND I TAKE PICTURES TOGETHER,,like i really appreciate that he smiles genuinely at me only but i need to help him pose

if it helps, i'm only like a piece of furniture in family pictures because thats when i get all stiff and i hate it, and i mean i absolutely hate it, when someone moves my bangs out of my face because that's kind of like a introvert thing for me? kind of gives me a sense of security tbh

also im glad you loved the picrew!! you guys look all so cute together hehehe, i bet you had to get wanderer to smile a couple times bc of how grumpy he is /aff.

OOOO PRETTY !!! if not the bakery theme, i might've gone for a flower shop with sunflower & daffodils. navia just has sunny girl next door vibes! i feel like she can fit in a bakery or a flower shop or a fancy cinema LOL. her color palette just has sm potential, especially for vintage themes i think! speaking of: this is basic x100 question but what are ur fav colors? i thought it'd be cool to know regardless! i personally love muted colors especially if it's a shade of purple or blue :3

you're a good fit with cottagecore so i get why you're sticking with it (it's the fairy vibes) !!! - i think angelcore or even mermaid aesthetic would fit u well too! something fantastical oooOOoOo (jazz hands)

cyno being one of us 😔🤝 /lh LMAO i imagine tighnari is resisting the urge to twitch his eye for every punchline dropped. everyone else gets the deadpan look™ but vi just gets a flick to their forehead (and a soft one at that too #favoritism). UR RIGHT!!! sumeru gang x windblume event was so monumental bcs we got to know albedo is amused by jokes & puns LOL. lyney will be impressed and tease u like “oho, such wit! looks like you have what it takes to be a magician too?” he knows ur stage-shy, he's just teasing u bcs ur cute hdhhahs.

mhmmm he does <3 ayato just shakes his head fondly and asks if i've been spending too much time around “a certain oni” - he's joking but i think i sense incoming jealousy. /j it's fine, i am indeed used to being outbonked by wanderer and outrizzed by heizou. i am constantly being babied smh 😔 /hj BUTBUT circling back to the jealousy thingy, makes me wonder how does albedo & the others act when they're jealous? :o personally, for me and my sillies f/o's:-

ayato: if the other person isn't already intimidated by his status (“omg it's the yashiro commissioner! gotta bail asap...” <- an example LMAO), then he uses passive-aggressive speech with a formal tone and a sweet smile to spook them. afterward, 'yato pretends like nothing happened and keeps me within arm's reach until the end of the outing. (note: uses this as an excuse to have me wear the accessories he gifted me so it's clear i'm taken. OKAY SIR CALM DOWN I'M ALREADY URS /hj)

wanderer: struggles with it so bad. he's no longer as hot-headed as he used to be.... but the sight still makes him irritated. knows i can handle it but keeps his ears peeled (eavesdropping essentially) just in case. will step in if the other person crosses the line but other than that, merely gets grumpier afterward. how dare they interrupt his quality time—

heizou: turns up his 'friendly menace' vibes to the MAX!!! finds it amusing to see how i'm lowkey trying to tell the other person off politely but will invite himself into the convo for funsies. gets HANDSY like pulling me close and calling a pet name outright in front of the person. (“oh, hey, honey! there you are. i was looking for you everywhere.” “heizou—”)

OOOHH!!! i can see the “cute / naturally pretty” charm ur talking abt. even from across the screen, i think ur vibes embody that!! albedo has a discerning eye <3 my guy's master is literally related to khaenri'ah dwdw, i also think that “be yourself” is true in itself! that way, u can find reassurance in knowing that the people attracted to u are there bcs of ur real self and not a front u put on. (<- also sounds cheesy hdhhshdh) but for me, i was told that i have comforting or welcoming (??) vibes when i talk to people so i'm trying to gather pride from that ;(

MALEWIFE WANDERER YESYES!!! he'd be so good at house chores it's funny. if u scold him, he'd squint at u like ur a bunny (which u are! /aff) punching harmlessly at his foot but he'd turn to me and say: “hmph, you've got friends worth-noting at the very least.” THEN proceeds to drop u off (gently bcs he's a gentle person at heart uwauwua !!!) in albedo's hands and go toodles LOL. p/s: i like how a bunny fits u! heehee <3 and i've gotten 'puppy' before but i'm still unsure which animal would suit me in general T_T . should i retake my harry potter patronus quiz from years ago /j

CAMELLIA AHA I SEE U!! the camellia being a canon part of the clan crest's design makes me so <33 till this day. it's even in ayato's namecard uwaaaaa. ANYWAY i'd like to think that wanderer could be a florist in a modern au - “the sassy & grumpy shortie is the owner of a cozy flower shop?!” kinda thing PFFT. i think modern au's are pretty cute! it's fun to imagine and play around with realistic elements <3

AWWW THAT'S CUTE!!! i can also relate with being on / or wanting to be on the giving side 😔😔 my giving love languages happen to be acts of service & physical touch hdhwhsh. OH OH actually, this could be another fun question hehe (i hope u don't mind them): what are the giving & receiving love languages for u and ur f/o's + do the dynamics shift according to the f/o? wait, does the last part make sense?? ( ;´ - `;) help /j

[analiavs]

I’m about to start my first post college job so I’ll unfortunately no longer be a full time degenerate

So another quick poll to help the idea mill. But idk how I’ll adapt to a 40 hr work week so no eta

Idk how to respond to comments with this blog so I’ll sign them off with Summa CUM Laude (not an invitation to impersonate me. Plz dont)

Idk why I’m in a Briar renaissance I’m usually a consummate Remysexsual

If you want more info on the concepts hit read more

Briar x Aphrodisiacs pt 2

He can stop anytime he wants too, and he doesn’t want too.

Keeps playing the game with Astral, but u know what they say about playing with fire.

Remy’s exposure therapy

More of the same, maybe the demonstration maybe time jump to a personal session

The photoshoot

Actually pretty much halfway done just shamelessly ooc

Niki pov, he’s an unwitting vouyer

Malewife quinn

Wraithy gets their lick back for their necklace, but Quinn enjoys it more than he should

L Briar

Somehow Leighton gets the better of Briar or manages to buy an hour of his time

Maybe leighton pov for once 👀👀👀

Kylar x Briar

I have plans that I cannot share with you right now because the haters will sabotage me; I have plans that i will not share right now because the haters will sabotage me; But i got some stuff in the works

(That is a meme, but I am serious about the idea)

Alex

Alex gets his get back. There’ll be revenge, some butt, and a dash of humiliation

[ayoharuko]

Genshin Impact Bf Headcanons

Hello again!

Now its time for our beautiful and pretty boys time for shine✨

Tysm for everyone who liked part 1 and 2 I'm so grateful for that😊

Also check out part 1 and part 2 if u guys haven't yet cause uhm....because i told u so!(╹ڡ╹ )

Anyways lets not stall anymore shall we and get on with it~!( •̀ ω •́ )✧

REMINDER: These characters don't belong to me but to hoyoverse and this is just a fictional work so please don't take it seriously.

(Inazuma Boys)

~Boba Man~ (Kamisato Ayato)

~Sly Boyfriend~

• Ya know...i would've just titled him as the prince type boyfriend cause i think he's a gentleman but at the same time i see him as....a sly fox who loves...loves to tease you, like he just finds entertainment by your red face and flustered reactions. Truly a fox man he is.

• When you get into a relationship with this man you have got to get used to he's sassy remarks about somethings and i imagine that you also sadly get affected by he's attitude.

• You and ayaka are besties✨ I feel like at first you'd feel like she didn't really like you because she didn't talk to you or get near you. oh how wrong you were...she actually SIMPS for you, she admires you. she actually watches how you train with a sword probably why she loves you. So when ayato is busy you and ayaka either have tea and chat or spar together. She's my ice princess💕 

• Now sometimes ayato does get jealous of he's sister. Of how much you both get to spend time together. There are sometimes where the siblings fight over you lol. He will cling to you for a whole day without letting ayaka near you claiming that she's had you enough.

• Since he's sometimes lazy to do he's paperwork he tells thoma to send you to him at once. Meaning just so he can get kisses and cuddles from you so he can get energy to complete he's work.

• Gets jealous easily. Once he spots someone hitting on you, He's.telling.that.man.off, Since he's sassy he will talk about how the said person shouldn't be hitting on a taken person and how its disrespectful. SLAYYYY😫

• Overprotective but knows you can handle yourself. But sometimes he does send guards to go with you since he knows clans or the fatui will try and use you against him. and he doesn't want you to get hurt.

• When he's free you both go to he's favorite boba store and just drink and chill while chatting🥺

• I feel like sometimes ayato would do these playfights with you. ya know just casual teasing and making the other jealous, when asked by ayaka and thoma why you both do this you both just respond that its an act of love🥰

• Since he has the money....boom. your getting spoiled, like just look and tell him its your's, he thinks you deserve the best(I mean you do queen/king✨)

• He's an annoying but sweet boi. But we/you love him~

Nicknames: My love, sweetheart, dear, darling and honey

Voice line about you: “ *Sigh* Why am i sighing? My dear love is spending time with ayaka again...hmm..thoma! Take care of this for me...I'm just gonna seal my darling back~”

When he talks to you: “Hmmm...sweetheart I'm back~, ah there you are. i missed you...where were you? Oh...you were with traveler? Can you at least give me your attention today? I've been needing more y/n in my life..?”

~Perfect Malewife~ (Thoma)

~Golden Retriever Boyfriend~

• Doesn't he just give that vibe!?

• He's perfect. 

• Cooks and cleans for you, always cooks for you everyday. for breakfast, dinner, snacks. ANYTHING EVEN IF ITS FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE HE WILL COOK IT FOR YOU.

• He always smiles and it honestly will brighten anyone's day with it including yours, If your sad he's bright demeanor suddenly dies down and gets upset himself. 

• Your parents probably love him more then they love you-(jk), likewise if you have any siblings they would instantly love him...he's like a big brother to them. whose strict yet fun. Imagine him playing/messing around with your siblings🥺

• Ayato at one point did get jealous....boba man is jealous of you-

• When your days and work are done you both would be laying in bed and he's just going on about how he's day went. He would also be the type to cuddle you close while kissing your forehead💘

• Taroumaru loves you. you and thoma would take turns in hanging out with the cute boi🥺

• Overall thoma is the boyfriend you instantly wanna marry💖✨

Nicknames: Babe, wifie, milady and my love

Voice line about you: “No no taroumaru this isn't for you haha..this is for y/n..ah! Lady ayaka can you please take this to y/n?‟

When he talks to you: “Hey there wafie! I missed you. Alot of things happened today...wanna hear it?‟

~One and oni!~ (Arataki Itto)

~Himbo Boyfriend~

• Himbo energy. I'm you guys can already sense it...feel it...

• Takes you bug hunting and then to he's battles for support even if sometimes went he actually loses your the one paying...poor you-

• Shinobu appreciates you alot since your the only ones who are sane and you help her keep the boys from going to jail. She loves you like a big sister💕 The gang also got attached to you since they saw how happy their boss was with you so they started to love you as well. 

• He unintentionally hits you with he's elbows because your shorter then him-. He carries you on he's shoulder tho.

• Swears that he loves you more then miss hina-

• When your sad/upset immediately tells the gang about it and they try to cheer you up by doing these weird stage plays and eventually it gets them to trouble😔

• Even if you know how to fight he doesn't let you lift a finger. part of the reason is because he doesn't want you to get hurt, other part is cause he wants to show off😅 But when he does let you...he falls inlove with you all over agin...cause to him you fighting and kicking asses are hot, sexy and beautiful to him.

• He definitely asks you for mora just to buy you a gift😂

• You bet you have ALOT of nicknames. he likes to think he's creative with them✨

• He loves you alot for accepting him as he is so with pride he always talks about you to people and the gang!(Shinobu tells you about this)

• Himbo boyfriend 100%

Nicknames: Babe, baby, lovebug, hottie, he's one and only, honey etc (alot more but he just thinks of them at radom times)

Voice line about you: “Woww...aren't the just amazing!?‟

When he talks about you: “Heyyy lovebug! What? N-no i don't need anything from you...ok maybe i do...c-can i have like...a little bit of mora? Like just 800 mora please?‟

~Furry General~ (Gorou)

~Puppy Boyfriend~

• What'd you expect?

• He's territorial but also very shy when it comes to you and gets flustered easily. If he's feeling possessive he marks you with he's scent and in other ways too...and when he's shy he just blushes around you alot.

• Your the only one who has the privileged of touching he's ears and tail and when you guys are alone he lets you run your fingers through he's fluffy tail and soft ears. He thinks its very relaxing and you help him groom he's tail and he LEAVES for it✨

• You know that scene in he's event i think(i forgor) where yae miko was talking about how he probably sleeps while hugging he's tail? Well he used to and now he just hugs you while wrapping he's tail around you. he sleeps as the little spoon he rarely becomes big spoon.

• He always remembers your scent and how you walk so when he instantly hears your footsteps or smells you from a mile away he's tail starts wagging and the soldiers who see it don't tell gorou since they know he would be embarrassed but they find it cute how head over heels is their general to you💖

• Kokomi and yae miko ALWAYS teases you both...sadly

• When you get hurt in battle poor baby blames himself for not being able to protect you...so please hold him and reassure him that your fine...

• Since he's basically a dog. I bet before you guys started dating he would talk about you to the other dogs in inazuma since he had no one to talk to about it. and the dogs would actually help him sometimes but always leading you to him, causing tiny accidents and more. So he actually feels grateful for he's furry friends.

• He honestly gets really upset when you go somewhere that he can't follow(Monstadt, liyue or sumeru)He can't help but miss you alot and when you get back he clings to you for the rest of the day.

• He's very loyal to you and is honestly a very good boy💕

Nicknames: My mate and mine

Voice line about you: “Why do i seem upset? I miss my m-mate alot...wait..NO AHHH YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT-‟

When he talks to you: “Y-your back! Hm? i-i can smell another persons scent on you...thats no good...c-can you come here...my mate?‟

~Sassy Detective~ (Shikanoin Heizou)

~Flirty Boyfriend~

• You thought kaeya was worse? Hah! heizou’s wayy worse....

• If your a person who gets shy easily heizou will tease you NONSTOP my man has no mercy....he thinks it's funny and cute(Asshole)

• But despite this he brings you with him to solve some cases of course only the minor and safe ones...he wouldn't want he's precious love to get hurt now can he?

• He randomly pins you to a wall and flirts aka tells you cheesy pick-up lines....and their SO CRINGE💀 

• He has no shame even flirting with you in public.

• I'm sure you guys are aware of that pic genshin posted at he's birthday right? WELL I BELIEVE HE WILL TEASE YOU WITH THOSE EXPRESSIONS OF HIS LIKE TAKE THAT INFO HOWEVER YOU WANT. like he'll purposely moan just to see you blush-

• Whenever a person flirts with you, you best believe heizou to be right there by your side flexing how he's a detective and can get the poor person inprisoned.....

• When he's not being an ass he treats you to a nice meal sometimes and buys you flowers with a side of jewelry too✨

• Complements you every single day💖

• When you do something impressive something as solving a case before him he will shower you with praise and affection.

• kisses that come out of nowhere are he's favs. and when you do that to him he'll have a shocked face with a bit of blush but instantly calms he's composure and teases you back but take it to another level. by that i mean grabing your chin, pulls you by the hips and kisses you roughly and hungrily(^///^)

• Even if he's a flirty asshole sometimes you love him~💖

Nicknames: Mine, baby, sweetheart, dear and beautiful

Voice line about you: “Their getting hi on AGAIN? What can't people just understand that their mine? *Sighs* Traveler can you help me teach that person a lesson? You won't get into trouble i assure you~‟

When he talks to you: “Hey there beautiful~ Awe don't shy away from me now...let me see your cute face~‟ (If you think that line is familiar good job)

~Mr.Samurai~ (Kaedehara Kazuha)

~Gentle Boyfriend~

• He'd be the calm and gentle type who just wants to be with you.

• If your in the crux you and him would be spending your time either chatting with beidou or laying down at the birds nest just looking at the sky.

• Kazuha often writes haiku’s about you...and tells them to you while you both are chilling, he's another one who won't go a day without completing you and at least hugging or kissing you on the cheek or forehead.

• The crew coos at how cute your relationship is and support you too very much💕 Although sometimes beidou will scold you both for slacking off at certain chores. 

• You and kazuha have a room to yourselves since the crew wants to respect your boundaries as a couple and because beidou doesn't wanna see pda-

• Beidou gives kazuha these talks about how to treat you, to not make you cry, respect your boundaries and just giving advice to him(She cares about you both alot such a mother💘)

• He often also cooks for you. and when he tries new recipes your always he's taste tester. He values your opinions alot and appreciates it when your being honest with him.

• He teaches you how to use a sword or how to defend yourself since he knows if people find out about your connection to him they will certainly use you to get him....but even so he still protects you and is very obversing of you guys surroundings. especially when you guys are outside, he doesn't wanna lose you now....

• He treats you like glass sometimes since he's afraid your gonna break and he's gonna lose you.

• He oftens has nightmares of he's friend and about losing you too...eventually when he wakes up from it he holds you tighter and closer to him...

• Whenever you guys dock somewhere he buys you small trinkets at that place as a souvenir.

• He also sings or hums to you whenever you both go to sleep he's voice is honestly the most softest thing ever💖

• He lets you tie he's hair whatever he enjoys feeling your hands in he's hair.

• He actually isn't shy to tell people that he loves you or tell that your his s/o he finds pride that you choose a dead man and he feels like he doesn't deserve your beautiful and kind self.

• He will protect and love you until the end of time...because your the light that made he's life colorful again.

Nicknames: My dove, my love and my muse

Voice line about you: “Isn't y/n just beautiful? What? haha...yes its obvious that i love them very much indeed...‟

When he talks to you: “My dove...would you like to hear the haiku I've written again for you?‟

~Scaramoche~ (Kunikuzushi)

~Cold Boyfriend~

• Now some people actually wanna know that out of every man in the world...why did you choose him? Why did you choose someone whose heartless and cold? Simple. You love him. Even sometimes scara doubts why you love him when he's basically someone who can't control he's mouth, and he's reminded by you that you fell for whats behind that attitude of his.

• Now when you break all of his walls and when he starts letting you in bit by bit he starts being unintentionally nice to you. it would shock him and he's subordinates, if your hot he'll buy you a popsicles if your cold he'll give you his coat he'll even let you borrow his hat, basically he becomes more cold to everyone but has a soft spot for you and everyone knows it.

• When your in that stage where his walls are broken down in private he'll start showing his kunikuzushi side while in public he'll only hold your hand while shouting at people. He'll also(surprisingly)ask for kisses and cuddles bluntly with a blush of course.

• Ah...another one that buys you whatever you want with that fatui money✨Just ask him nicely and he'll buy it for you.

• When he's away and busy he sends 2 or 3 fatui agents to watch over you at least since he knows that some people will use you against him and for fatui information so he's extremely careful when with you.

• If your smart with your words you can easily stop scara from sealing the gnosis and turning his back from the fatui. and if you do then consider yourself a pat on the back.

• When he makes sure that your deep asleep he whispers to you about how lucky he is to have you and how he loves you very much with kisses on the forehead. He also thanks you for being patient with him since he knows that he isn't exactly the best person to be with but he thanks you regardless. he knows he should be saying those things to you when your awake but he just can't bring himself to do so....so for now its a secrets.

• He has nightmares about ei and he's old friends so please comfort him and hug him...

•He sometimes puts his work aside and goes to you just to cuddle with you.

•Anyone who disrespects you are instantly dead however if your fast enough to stop him he will just pull you aside, leave you at a place and go back to those trash and beat them to a pulp🙂 Same goes for people who hits on you their  instantly gone or barely alive....your his and only his

• One time he noticed that traveler had kept asking about you and he thought that the traveler liked you even if they just wanted to ask you something...

• When you ask for attention he immediately saids your being to needy when his needy himself.

• He might be cold and all but for you his ready to fight the entire universe just for you💕

• To him your the one who gave him a heart. A heart that beats for you, he understands what love is because of you and his grateful for that. Your the only think that keeps him sane...so please...please don't leave him...

Nicknames: Dumbass, mine, my world and my light(The last 2 only in private)

Voice line about you: “What? What about y/n? Stop asking me about them...wait..do you perhaps..like y/n? Don't delay it now?! You've been asking about them since you've seen me! Let me tell you something traveler they belong to me. their mine. got that?‟

When he talks to you: ‟What do you want? I'm busy, kisses and c-cuddle? I-i suppose i have time for that...your so needy“

DONE WITH THE INAZUMA BOYS!!!

Omg this took quite a while...mostly at ayato and scara’s parts but i managed

Now im gonna say it for part 3 its the sumeru guys but....it might come out a bit late since i haven't started sumeru yet because of school which sucks but i know the characters i just kinda dont know how they act so thats the problem but I'll try and explore sumeru when i have the time during the weekend

Tysm for reading this far and i hope you guys enjoyed this! I'm sorry if their are any grammer or spelling mistakes and i advice you guys to read part 1 or 2 whatever you wanna start first its fineo(*￣▽￣*)ブ

Also feel free to ask requests its always open!

Ok..imma stop rambing now and say goodbye lol.

FAREWLL MUA!!!💖✨

[kxmikomrade]

hellooo! Not many people ever write for the promised neverland fandom especially the manga so may I request a Oliver x reader (any gender)? Just general relationship headcanons please, if you could then maybe how he or the reader confessed. I hope that it's not too much 😅 Feel free to decline though and take care Kim! 😊💞

✧˖࿐ Oliver Relationship hcs

Order: Caffe Latte, Medium serving ham sandwich Genre: Fluff with a grain of angst Gn!reader Pronouns: Y/P (your pronouns) Type: Headcanons Requested! by: Anon! Warnings/Genre: !MAJOR-ish TPN MANGA SPOILERS! mentions of d3ath i think, probably some swearing and dats it just pure FLUFF Waiter's Notes: Hello traveler! ^^ please take care of yourself aswell, i hope this order will give you energy! Authors Notes: I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW DIS REQ, also I haven't designed my materlist/req page for TPN since I keep on forgetting. I haven't read the manga in like 11 months? so he might be ooc. And i think when u said 'demon world' u meant the human world, if not, i could start all over again, no problemo. BUT ANYWAYS ENJOY! :dd

•HE'S BF MATERIAL

•Husband material too 😳

•Ur hella lucky to have his heart wrapped around your fingers

•You guys had feelings for eachother for awhile now (years actually)

•So when you guys arrived and settled in the human world, he took up all his courage and confessed to you

•In front of everyone 💀

•Gillian was so happy that she was screaming, crying- actually no, SOBBING her eyes off and clapping LOUD simultaneously.

•And you were really embarrassed and happy that he liked you back

•Gillian lowkey planning ur wedding already

•IF SHE HASNT ALREADY WHEN SHE FOUND OUT U BOTH LIKE EACHOTHER THAT IS

•When u got together, u guys are so cute istg

•Lucas crying from heaven and Yuugo patting his back

•Literally what every couple dreams to be

•ZACK TEASES YOU TWO SO MUCH

•GILLIAN TOO

•AND SOMETIMES U THREE GANG UP ON OLIVER

•poor oliver

•Since your flirty, oliver's face is often the same color of his hair streak

•Though most of ur pickup lines r bad, it still makes him flustered

•''I thought happiness starts with an 'H'?'' ''?? it is?'' ''Then why does mine start with u?''

•THOUGHHHH, when he starts getting used to them, he MIGHT comeback at u

•''Are you a camera? bcs when i look at u, i smile'' ''Good, your smile makes the sun jobless''

•I think he needs to work on some of his comeback lines

•His hugs r so warm, he's a human heater but BRO. his hands r SO COLD

•Big spoon, but i feel like he would be more of a switch bcs he also likes being held

•plus points for u bcs u get to play with his fluffy hair

•head kisses bro.

•it doesnt matter if ur taller than him, ur getting head kisses no matter what

•Also, i feel like u guys would adopt a cat together

•and name it Luca bcs :')

•SPEAKING OF LUCAS- hes so proud of u guys that he cries bcs of it also yuugo but hes too shy to admit it

•U guys visit their graves (made in the human world) every week or two and u have a moment of silence

•just talking to them in your minds bcs u know they can hear u

•its a comforting silence between u both bcs u know Olivers there and Oliver knows youre here

•OKAY ENOUGH OF THE SAD STUFF

•U call him so many nicknames but mostly alongside 'Ollie'

•He's basic and just sticks to ones like 'Love', 'Sweetheart', 'babe'

•bro im 100% sure his food is MMMM

•Like Gillian's jelly bcs u get to eat Ollie's food everyday

•He's the ultimate malewife but he can also be ur husband 😉

•wedding? yes.

(457)

THATS IT LMAO RAN OUT OF IDEAS SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

[yanbub]

them falling in love w/ u as ur best friend

albedo, xiao, kazuha and thoma x gn!reader

hcs, sfw, crack/fluff, cw: my favoritism on albedo, modern!au, 796 words

reblog or else kazuha is gonna cry

note: im leaving ? possibly but whatever. dont mind the possible typos, i don't proofread ok

albedo ;

albedo is usually smart but once he starts to notice some changes to how he feels about you, he doesn’t have an answer. you know that albedo has the tendency to be touch deprived — so touch deprived that people would’ve thought you were a couple already before you explain that you’re just best friends. but why does it whenever he holds your hand, his grips seem tighter lately? as if he doesn’t plan or want to let go of his grip? it’s possible that you’re overthinking but you know albedo. he was never this desperate.

him realizing that he fell in love with you as a big “oh shit” moment. it just came crashing to him and he didn’t even think of it thoroughly. with the wind blowing onto your hair on a late afternoon in the streets, albedo finally realized that he likes you. he realized a lot of things during that moment — he realized how he sometimes loses his rationality around you, how he’s becoming what’s lesser on how he usually is, and how you’re the person who can only make him unfold in such ways. albedo shook his head at you and smiled and you looked at him in confusion.

“albedo? what are you smiling so stupidly at?” you asked. “nothing. i’ll walk you home now, it’s getting quite late.” he replied.

xiao ;

the shy one, always wanting to keep your business to yourselves. you two still bond in public but it may just look like you’re just friends and not “best friends”. however, behind closed doors, xiao gets a bit of an attitude. he acts more childish alone with you — something that’s very much unexpected from the usually composed xiao people would see. but you find it cute on how his eyes sparkle at his favorite food if you get for him.

if albedo was confused about his feelings, xiao is even worse. he’d go through multiple stages on how to realize if he’s in love with you. it’ll probably be a slow burn too, since he has no idea if his feelings are actually romantic towards you or if it’s just platonic since he’s your best friend. he’s very much conflicted but wouldn’t him staring at you longer (than usual) be one of of the many explanations on how he’s in love? how about him being the shoulder you’d cry on every time it’s hard for you, and how about those times where he’d want to hold your hand longer?

he’ll need to clarify his emotions soon.

thoma ;

malewife (literally) and he acts like a mother to you. if you wouldn’t take care of yourself then he will. god, you can’t forget how antsy he gets every time you’re sick. make it a small fever or a cold he’ll be taking care of you. he knows that you know how much he cares about you, but sometimes he wonders if your relationship is really just platonic as your best friend. but how? how can it possibly be platonic when your lips would almost meet when you look at each other, squished at the large crowd? how can it even be platonic when he’d take you out on little dates (and yes, a date even though you’re “best friends”) during the weekend?

it’s frustrating. it was frustrating that thoma couldn’t even know if your relationship is even platonic at this point. he knows he loves you, he just doesn’t want to ruin what you have now and he doesn’t know how to tell you these big feelings he’s been holding onto.

kazuha ;

messing around the fucking library, watching movies together, it may seem that kazuha doesn’t hold romantic feelings to you as your best friend but he does. it’s visible on how he looks at you. everyone can see it — everyone but you. he knows that you can get… rather oblivious at some instances but this time it’s really obvious. he doesn’t get why you haven’t noticed it yet. were you in denial? do you not want to get faced with these hints he leaves every now and then? kazuha can usually read you (he’s your best friend after all) but at this issue, he gets so conflicted.

with a flick to your forehead, you yelp at the short period of pain that rushed at you because of kazuha. he sighs at you again before correcting you for what it seems like the nth time today, all because of your homework. he too is having other thoughts as he teaches you — why haven’t you noticed it yet? when will you ever take notice of his feelings? but he gave up on thinking about the matter.

kazuha is after all willing to wait patiently for you, anyways.

[okbowser]

i dont find michael scary. i just find him attractive. he physically could not scare me. mf would say “You need a door” and i would already be walking in. U think i care if u trap me forever? at least it will be U i am trapped in my love <3 My master manipulator malewife <3 If i were an archival assistant in s1 and s2 i would be confused as to why im the Only one Popping my fucking pussy right now. Jon is ace and i respect u My love but everyone else should hve been drooling. the most unrealistic part of tma is that there is no michael distortion sex scene. i have a need. a physical urge. to be gaslit by him. Tell me u wont hurt me and then do it. Please. Im beging u. I would not put up any sort of fight. Idec about ur weird longass fingers i actually prefer that as long as he knows how to use them. i know avatars seek out fear to feed their entities but im sure michael is seeking out some bitches too bro. im sure he’s getting them. im just confused why i am not one of your bitches, michael. michael please i can pretend to be afraid if u need to. michael i know ur the throat of delusion incarnate but im the throat of pure fucking pleasure in fucking carnate.

tl;dr: Michael DO leave me here. Michael. Michael

[poisoned-peppermint]

Eating tile and making head cannons

!Dsmp incorrect quotes!

~~~

Tubbo: Lmao i wonder what'll happen if i light this thing on fire 

Tubbo: *lights thing on fire*

*the thing is on fire*

Tubbo: incredible

~~~

Foolish: Did I hit a nerve, bitch boy?

~~~

Ranboo: My favorite game is Chest. Love the little horses.

~~~

Ponk: don’t care didn’t ask plus this hole you put me in wasn’t deep enough and I’m climbing out right now

~~~

Ant: A fistfight can be romantic. If you’re fucking gay

~~~

Bad: *turns on lamp for reading*

Skeppy: You might as well call me that lamp~

Bad: why…

Skeppy: Because you turn me on.

Bad: *slams book shut

~~~

Ranboo: What are you doing?

Tommy:*squiggling in ranboo’s arms* hiding

Ranboo:..........Do you mean hugging?

Tommy: *pauses* did I stutter.

Tommy: This is my safe place.

Tommy: Now shut up and put your arms around me!

~~~

Tommy: I’m so full of love. And anger. Like a lava lamp.

~~~

Bad: I’m full of rage and dangoruslly stupid but god is holding me back by the scruff of my neck like a kitten

~~~

Bad: You expect me to act like a normal human being? I’m wearing a turtleneck!

~~~

Skeppy: *stubs toe* Fuck!!

Bad: *stops drinking coffee* put a dollar in the swear jar *resumes drinking coffee*

Skeppy: *takes random can out of the trash* judging by what you did last night, you need to put a dollar in the sin tin.

Bad: *chokes*

~~~

Skeppy: You want the last muffin?

Bad: yea

Skeppy: You want the last muffin?

Bad: yes

Skeppy: You want the last muffin?

Bad: yes!!

Skeppy: Will you go an a date with me

Bad: YES!!

Bad: waaait…

~~~

5up: Get down from there!

Fundy: *up in a tree* No Way!!

5up: I’m going to call the police.

Fundy: Go ahead, I’ll fight them!

5up: I have cookies.

Fundy: *gets down and grabs cookies* I totally would’ve fought them.

5up: I know you would

~~~

Bad: You know, Skeppy, I like you much better with my glasses off.

Skeppy: You put your glasses back on and face the facts!!!

~~~

Tommy: In this essay I won’t

Tommy: Fuck you for comming to my ted talk!

~~~

Tubbo: Goodnight to my Husband fuck the rest of ya’ll

~~~

Gumi to Skeppy: Hey girlboss you malewife is looking especially gnc today.

~~~

Wilbur: U r cute all the time

Quackity: Even when I tell you I want to punch you

Wilbur: Yes

~~~

Skeppy: If my husband thinks he can just bat his cute lil eyes at me and get whatever he wants, he’s absolutely right.

~~~

Bad: I’m a goth girl on the inside. on the outside? A father figure.

~~~

Bad: how do you tell a guy politely you want to push him against a wall and make out with him?

~~~

Skeppy: Ugh I’m so mad I’m going to go home and touch my husband’s tits so I won't be mad.

~~~

*Fighting*

Skeppy: Bite me!

Bad: Where?

Skeppy *tiny gasp*

~~~

Bad: Not wearing glasses any more. I’ve seen enough

~~~

Eret: *takes a long swig from the flask he was carrying in her purse*

Barkeep: Ma’am no outside drinks are permitted 

Eret, hoarsely: This is flour  

~~~

Eret: Might fuck around and let nature reclaim me.

Bad: Does this mean you’re going feral or just lying in the dirt for a while?

Eret: Yeah.

~~~

Skeppy: Malk?

Bad: Milk.

Skeppy: molk?

Bad: MILK.

Skeppy:......Melk?

Bad: MILK! M I L K

Skeppy: Milk

Bad: MALK- oh I see what you did there.

~~~

*laying in bed together*

Bad: I need you to promise that you'll hold my hand whenever I’m scared.

Skeppy: Yeah ok.

Bad: *starts holding Skeppy’s hand*

Skeppy: *looks around confused* What are you scared of?

Bad: I’m scared if I let go of your hand you’ll disappear.

Skeppy: *Forgets how to breath*

~~~

Skeppy: Hey Techno.

Techno: *punches Skeppy in the stomach*

Skeppy: What the fuck?!!

Techno: You are one of my very best friends. And I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. You're too young....YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL!

Skeppy: What the fuck are you talking about?!

Techno: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now.

Antfrost: See ya! *leaves*

Skeppy: I'm not pregnant!!!!!

Techno: Well, not after that punch you're not. I've been taking muay thai classes.

Skeppy: I was never pregnant, Techno!

Techno: Are... you sure?

Skeppy: Yes I'm fucking sure!!!!

Puffy: I'm sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?

Techno: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and—

Puffy: *punches Skeppy in the stomach*

Skeppy: AW, MOTHERFU--

~~~

Ya’ll better see this I made it for you

[sxlver-sweet]

OK OK PLEASE HEAR ME OUT IN THIS ARBA I BEG U: we all know chifuyu would be the biggest simp for his s/o, but now i realize that he just gives me big malewife vibes

imagine a f!reader that just irradiates girlboss energy (like half of the time shes mean and serious / maybe shes in a gang too? or she knows to fight really well for the fun of it) and chifuyu would just looking at her and being like: yeah, i love her, i will marry her. he would be so whipped lol

pleaseeee i just need more chifuyu content because i love him ??

wait oh my god that's such a sexc idea. pleASE WHERE HAVE ALL THESE ANONS BEEN WITH THESE IDEAS AFKDJFSKFSL Y'ALL GOT THIS ON LOCK

MAY I RAISE YOU THIS:

you coming home from a brawl covered in blood and looking like you’re ready to murder the next person you see, only to sigh and ruffle chifuyu’s hair affectionately when he sheepishly admits that he almost burned down the kitchen trying to make you brownies

chifuyu wanting to be babied by you and feeling secure in your arms on days he feels down

you shaking off three different opponents with ease yet finding yourself defenseless and a pushover when chifuyu forces you into a seat to treat your wounds

toman watching you knock down opponent after opponent and being like “yo, that’s your girl?” to chifuyu, who’s leaned back sipping on a bottle of water completely at ease like, “yeah, what about it?”

baji poking fun at how utterly whipped chifuyu is and buying him a mug that says “world’s greatest wife” but chifuyu sips coffee out of that bitch daily with zero problems. it’s partly to spite baji, but also it’s also partly because shiiiit👀

you standing alone in front of a gang and politely asking them to leave, but then putting their commander in the dirt when he tries to attack you, anyway. meanwhile, chifuyu’s just looking at you with heart eyes like “that’s my future wife”

chifuyu thinking you’re the cutest when you send him “<3″ and “:D” while texting

once you guys retire from the delinquent world, chifuyu having the god tier idea to cut your gang jackets in half and stitch the halves together into two new jackets. that way, you’ll be wearing half of his jacket and half of yours, and vice versa

y’all will be training together and you’ll flip chifuyu over your shoulder and he’ll be laying sprawled on the ground with a bruised ego before rethinking it and being like, “wait, that was kind of attractive--”

chifuyu will get defensive whenever someone slanders you for your strong physique or “unfeminine habits,” and if they disregard his warning for them to knock it off, they’ll catch a foot to the face real quick

chifuyu malfunctioning whenever you pick him up or throw him over your shoulder. he’ll just get really quiet and won’t say anything even after you set him down. he’ll still be trying to process wtf just happened and why his stomach feels so jittery

chifuyu lowkey competing with you over who can give stronger hugs

chifuyu getting an ego boost whenever he manages to catch you off guard and make you squeal with surprise by sweeping you off your feet or lifting you off the ground also him having the biggest smile on his face when he’s holding your strong, mean ass like a princess

chifuyu admiring your “if your followers’ well-being isn’t your top priority, you don’t deserve to be their commander” mentality and wanting to better himself as a person so that he can stand equally beside you

if the situation allows it, best believe chifuyu’s gonna be right by your side during a brawl so he can watch your back, because he knows from experience that not everyone can dodge everything, regardless of how skilled you are