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savoytrufflephd · 11 months ago

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The questions of Laurent’s being and behavior…

I have been informed, via @thickenmyblood’s asks (since mine were apparently not set to accept anonymous asks – which I have now changed) that my opinion about HIUH Laurent’s character is incorrect. I have been informed that he’s abusive.

My PhD isn’t in English (though it is in the humanities), but my wife was an English major and she has often told me that interpretations aren’t right or wrong, but they are stronger or weaker in the sense that they are supported by the text.

So, let’s go…

First things first. Let me be clear about the following:

The question of whether or not Laurent is abusive in this piece of fanfiction has no bearing whatsoever on whether any person you know in real life is abusive.

Similarly, any arguments that Laurent can change or that Laurent deserves a second chance have no bearing whatsoever on whether any person you know in real life can change or deserves a second chance.

Neither HIUH nor any fic should be taken as a life advice manual. Just because there are therapists in this fic does not mean that @thickenmyblood is a mental health professional or your therapist.

I am also not a therapist, nor am I trying to give you life advice when I speak of my enjoyment of HIUH.

But if I were to give you life advice, it would be this: If a piece of fanfiction makes you so angry that you feel the need to send abusive anonymous comments to the author and/or ask that author to pass on your comment “correcting” the opinion of a reader writing about that story, you should probably stop reading that fic. It is clearly not good for you. Metaphorically speaking, you are in an abusive relationship with that fic and you should end it. Write the story off and move on.

Okay, that said, the question of whether Laurent is abusive in HIUH is probably more of a series of questions:

Has HIUH Laurent engaged in abusive behaviors?

If so, do those abusive behaviors necessarily indicate that he is and will always be an abuser?

If not, what evidence do we have that HIUH Laurent can and will stop engaging in abusive behaviors?

If HIUH Laurent stops engaging in abusive behaviors, what reasons, if any, does HIUH Damen have to return to the relationship despite past abuse?

BONUS:

A. Is an HIUH Laurent who harms Damen through abusive behavior mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

B. Is an HIUH Damen who chooses to be with Laurent despite past abuse mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

1. Has Laurent engaged in abusive behaviors?

Yes. Although we are limited by a potentially unreliable narrator (Damen), who does not believe Laurent is abusive, we are clearly and intentionally both told and shown in the text that Laurent has engaged in abusive behavior. We are told when Neo explains as much to a skeptical Damen:

“Then you must know I’m only trying to get a feeling on how educated you are on the subject of abuse between romantic partners.” “But why ? I just told you Laurent and I never—” “Do you know what emotional abuse looks like, Damen?” “Yes.” “Give me a definition.” It’s hot in the room, all of the sudden. “It’s… making someone. Feel bad.” “It’s consistent and repeated humiliation,” Neo says. “Gaslighting. Manipulation. Verbal abuse can sometimes overlap with this. Have you ever experienced this while in your relationship with Laurent?” “We weren’t abusive.” “Did you insult each other?” “No,” Damen says. It was so long ago, it was a lifetime back. He can’t remember. “It’s—not like that. Humiliation? We never—” “You’ve said that sometimes Laurent made you feel as though the things you were feeling were inadequate.” You’re being a fucking idiot, Laurent had said about the pink sweatshirt. “What if he was right?” “It’s never right to invalidate your partner’s feelings.” “We weren’t abusive.” “Damen,” Neo says, the soft caress before a blow. “What if we think about it from—” “There’s nothing to think about. I’m telling you, it wasn’t like that. How the fuck did you get to that conclusion? Because I complained about us arguing?” Neo ruffles his notes. “Contempt. Shame. Hurt. That’s what abusers thrive on. There’s quite a lot of those things in here.” “Laurent’s not an abuser,” Damen snaps. “Maybe not, but he grew up with one, didn’t he? These are learned traits.” Damen folds forward as though to vomit. That’s—He’s made a mistake. They argued, they yelled, they said things they didn’t mean, but they never hit each other or threw cutlery at each other’s heads. They went to bed angry, and Damen slept on the couch, and there would be rolling eyes and huffs and annoyance in the following days, but that’s not—Laurent is not— You’re sweet, Damen had said, hand to Laurent’s cheek. A sweetheart. He remembers meaning it, remembers Laurent not liking it. He also remembers Laurent’s sweetness, scarcer in the end and cloying in the beginning. Breakfast in bed, letting Damen pick what show to watch, giving up half his trail mix bag because he knew Damen liked the dried fruit pieces most. You’ll do great, you always do great. A protein shake prepped and ready to go, peace and quiet the nights before important court days. But also bigger things, biggest things. There was—and sharing a bed, and curling up under Damen to read, and letting Damen carry Nicaise up the stairs, and holding his hand under the table as firm functions, and kissing just to kiss, just because, just— He’s explained Laurent wrong.

And we are shown in the moments when Damen and Laurent talk and Damen expects a belittling response from Laurent:

“There are,” Laurent starts, stops. Starts again, “I didn’t.” He has both elbows on the table, which he used to despise. Tables are for cutlery and food, not limbs. Something about the way he rubs at the skin under his eyes makes Damen’s stomach cower as if expecting a blow. “Agnes recommended it months before you—came back. It wasn’t my idea.”

“I met him?” For once, Laurent doesn’t mock him for his question. “It was at that school play I couldn’t go to. The one Nicaise got that huge part in.”

“I want to know when the twenty-four hours are up,” Damen says, loudly, too loudly, “so we can go to the police station and report him missing. For fuck’s sake, Laurent, will you stop ? He could be seriously hurt, and you’re sitting here, berating me about the way I phrased a question. Do you even give a shit about him? Do you even—” He cuts himself off when he sees Laurent’s expression. Like he did last time with Nicaise, Damen braces himself for what’s to come, goes over the list of things Laurent can hurl at him, tries to minimize the inevitable damage. The comment will be about Nikandros, about his soft childhood in Ios, about the time he tried to discipline Nicaise by himself and ended up covered in vomit. Nothing happens. There’s only Laurent, turning his face to the side so Damen can’t stare at it any longer. In the silence of the car, Laurent’s breathing shakes.

“Is his name really Dog?” Laurent says, sitting down next to Damen. Between them, the two cups of coffee and the small pile of croissants both steam. “I didn’t believe Nicaise when he told me.” “I,” Damen starts, lie ready on his tongue, and stops. It’s very meta. “I’m not good with names.” Laurent picks up his coffee instead of agreeing with Damen. Instead of mocking. The space between their bodies is comfortable enough—they’re not touching, not even their knees or thighs. They’re not looking at each other either, not with the entire park stretching green and busy in front of them.

2. If so, do those abusive behaviors necessarily indicate that he is and will always be an abuser?

I take this to be one of the major points of contention on the part of the angry readers. As you can probably guess, I don’t think the text suggests that Laurent in inherently abusive. Besides the stuff coming in my answer to question 3, we have several reasons to believe that Laurent’s abusive behavior is the product of particular circumstances rather than a generalized personality dysfunction.

We know, and Neo just reminded us above, that abusive behaviors are learned behaviors. We know Laurent was abused in multiple ways before he was able to leave his uncle’s house. We know that he is still very young and that it has not been that long since his uncle’s trial. We know he has not been comfortable talking to Damen about his abuse, which gives us reason to believe he still experiences a great deal of shame. That shame is hinted at here:

“He respects you,” Laurent says before Damen has made up his mind about the yelling. “He looks at you and sees a standard to meet. Normalcy. It’s hard to disappoint people you respect. Especially people like you.” “Like me.” “You do things your way. Everyone else does them wrong.” “That’s,” Damen starts. The absolute inaccuracy of the phrase leaves him hanging. “What the fuck?” Laurent ignores him. “He doesn’t respect me, and he also knows I have no room to judge. It’s different. We’re—it’s just different.”

We also know that Laurent is specifically and intentionally not abusive toward Nicaise. We have seen that he has been absorbing a ton of anger, vilification, derision, denigration from Nicaise almost entirely without complaint and without lashing out at Nicaise in return. In fact, after the breaking of the paperweight, when Laurent feels that he might not be able to avoid reacting in a way he will regret, he calls Damen to safely remove Nicaise from the situation. Having taken the lock off Nicaise’s door for reasons many parents would no doubt consider justified, he realizes it was a mistake:

Damen doesn’t look down at the twisted little bolts on the floor. “Actually, you should watch this part in case you ever want to dismantle it again.” “I won’t.” Damen rubs his sleeve over a weird spot on the knob. “You’re betting a lot on Nicaise’s hypothetical good behavior.” “It was dumb, taking the lock away as punishment. I…” Laurent’s thumb glides over the edge of the glass. It traces a full circle before stopping and going white, digging in. His jaw twitches like he’s munching on something. “Privacy shouldn’t be a reward.” “Wasn’t this about safety? He locked himself in, wouldn’t come out or reply when you called…” Laurent’s reply is slow to come. After a while, Damen stops expecting it to come at all. He goes back to testing the lock—twice, waiting for that click sound—opens the door, closes it, and rattles the knob a bit. Just to be sure. “My uncle made it about safety too,” Laurent says. “Locks on doors were for adults. Not children.” The lonely ice cube in his glass floats around aimlessly, not quite touching its confines. “The first to go were the bedroom locks. What if there’s a fire and you can’t get out? What if someone breaks in through the window and—well.” Laurent smiles, small and ugly. “That kind of thing. You know.”

He ensures that Nicaise sees a therapist, meets with that therapist regularly, and follows professional advice about putting Nicaise on medication.

Laurent also maintains a strong friendship with Ancel, whose judgment the text has taught us to trust, through Damen’s evolving relationship with him. Laurent is capable of non-abusive, non-superficial relationships.

3. If not, what evidence do we have that HIUH Laurent can and will stop engaging in abusive behaviors?

From the moment we see Laurent interact with Damen in the present of this story, he is trying to treat Damen better. Not because he thinks he can get back together with Damen, but because he realizes he needs to make a relationship with Damen possible for Nicaise. We have already seen above that most of the time when Damen expects Laurent’s ridicule in this story, he does not actually receive it. In very stressful conversations, when Laurent does lash out, he now tends to pull back or even to acknowledge and apologize:

Coffee. Damen takes two long sips, trying to rinse the bad taste out of his mouth. They’ve had arguments in public before, probably louder than this one. For some reason, the thought isn’t as comforting as Damen would have once found it. They broke up to be better than they were together, didn’t they? They should be better. Except this doesn’t feel better. Or different. Laurent says, “That was out of line.” Now, cooled off, Damen feels clammy. Wobbly. He knows Laurent is right, and yet the thought of sitting through a reprimand makes him want to melt away. “It was.” “I—apologize.” Damen looks up from his coffee to Laurent’s profile. He’s facing the wrong way, Damen thinks stupidly, because the window is to their left. “You apologize.” Half a question. “Go ahead,” Laurent says. “Rub it in.” Damen doesn’t want to. Nausea is curling around him, closing in. “I was out of line too, so.”

And we know now that Laurent has thought through some of his past behaviors toward Damen:

“I was angry at you,” Laurent says, “all the time. Sometimes it was justified, but when it wasn’t I just—I found ways to justify it. That wasn’t fair. Of me.” Damen’s palm is numb around the glass. “Why were you angry?” “Nicaise.” “Justified,” Damen says. “And the rest of it?” Laurent is facing him again. “Paschal says I have a tendency to expect the worst from everyone. Especially you. You’d make comments, and I’d think you were being cruel instead of…” “Instead of what? Ignorant?” Laurent doesn’t reply. “That makes no sense,” Damen says. “We never argued about me being fucking sadistic. We argued about you acting like some things were obvious and I was simply too much of an idiot to get them.” “I never thought you were an idiot.” “You said it often enough.” “I’m—sorry,” Laurent says. “It doesn’t change anything, but—even if you had been the biggest idiot in the world, you didn’t deserve…” A blinking spree follows. “I’m sorry.”

We know that Laurent is still in therapy, and we know that he has been talking about his relationship with Damen there because Paschal has suggested couples counseling for them. And Laurent has invited Damen to do that couples counseling, showing that he wants them to build a better foundation for their relationship going forward.

4. If HIUH Laurent stops engaging in abusive behaviors, what reasons, if any, does HIUH Damen have to return to the relationship despite past abuse?

Damen is deeply in love with Laurent. At the beginning of the story, he is in denial about this fact, but the uncontrollable flow of his thoughts still shows us how much he feels the loss of their relationship. Once he and Laurent are speaking again, seeing improvements in their communication, and experiencing moments of comfort and fun in their interactions – and once Laurent has broken up with Maxime – Damen admits to himself that he wants to be back together. Neo, as usual, prompts the self-recognition:

“I’m asking you to think about what life might look like in two years,” Neo says, “for you and Laurent. Time does not only pass for you, Damen.” A smile, crinkling the corners of Neo’s eyes. “That’d be ideal, wouldn’t it?” Two years. Damen sits with the question for a while, looking at it, prodding it. In two years, Nicaise will have gone away to college. Maybe Laurent will move, relocate, start over somewhere closer to Vask. He’ll post about his new life on Instagram, or details of it will make it to Damen as second-hand gossip. They could still be friends, over text or the phone or fucking letters, Damen thinks, yet there’s something bitter in the back of his throat, filling up his mouth like vomit. Maybe Laurent will date again. Probably. Most likely. And Damen— When he looks up from the armrest, Neo is looking straight back. Damen can’t say it. Earlier today, as he typed his last email of the day at the office, he kept drafting a plan for today’s session. He’d explain his argument with Laurent, then the party at Ancel’s, then the way he keeps looking at Laurent in all the wrong lights, in all the wrong ways, and still finds himself wanting to kiss him. Neo would make a disapproving face, maybe, but it would be easy to brush off; anyone that doesn’t know Laurent would find it hard to understand how easy it is to want to kiss him. Except that isn’t all Damen wants. What Damen wants isn’t a settling of the score, a cleaning of the slate. He doesn’t want to do it once for old times’ sake, or twice out of gluttony. He doesn’t want to make any long-distance phone calls, write any letters, see any pictures on Instagram of Laurent and someone that isn’t him. He doesn’t want things to stay like this, in this careful antiseptic stage. He doesn’t want them to be friends. “It’s not what I want,” Damen says, at last. Neo leans back into his chair. He rolls his wrist once. “You think it’s what I should want, right? Letting go and all.” “I wouldn’t say that,” Neo says. “Should and shouldn’t are very loaded words. It also doesn’t matter what I think you should or shouldn’t do, in general. What is it that you want, since we’ve already established what it is that you don’t?” Don’t make me say it out loud. “I want,” Damen starts, and stops. The words look so stupid, jumbled inside his head. I want him back, like Laurent is a toy someone took away and won’t return. Like Damen is a child, begging. Don’t make me say it. Seconds trickle by, piling into a minute. Then two. “Do you want to be in a relationship with Laurent again?” “I thought I already was,” Damen says. “A friendship is a kind of relationship. You said that.” Neo closes his eyes, keeps them like that for a while. “I did, yes. Let me rephrase that—do you want to be in a romantic relationship with Laurent? Again?” There is no loophole this time, no two-meaning word Damen can latch onto. The truth sits heavy in him, not on his chest but somewhere deeper, inside a little crevice between some (probably important) organs. Saying no would be lying, saying yes would be diminishing. “I want things to be good,” Damen says. “That’s all.”

And in chapter 19, Damen is brutally honest with himself about how, even after everything, he still wants Laurent:

“You meet new people,” Neo says. “You go on dates, make new friends, find new interests. Despite what you might think right now, Laurent isn’t your only option. Dare I say, Laurent might not even be your best option.” The room is dark, darker than it was when the phone call started, but Damen’s eyes hurt like he’s been staring at a ball of light for too long. Everything hurts in a strange, modest way. A throb here, faint. An ache there, heatless. “I don’t want other options,” Damen says. “Well.” “How fucked up is that?” “Pretty fucked up,” Neo says. It makes Damen stop blinking. “Luckily, you’re already doing therapy. It’s only bound to get less complicated from here on. Or more, depending on how you look at it.” “I don’t even wanna look at it, to be honest.” “Then don’t. Take time off, let things cool down, think about what’s been said… No one is asking you to choose right this second.” It’s not that anyone is asking. It’s that it feels like he’s already made his choice.

“You didn’t tell me,” Damen says before he can think not to. “Tell you what?” “How bad it was.” Laurent’s thumb traces the t in team. It’s a bit crooked, even from Damen’s perspective. “It was pretty bad,” he says, slowly, “before you came back. Things were better once he started seeing you again.” “You call that better?” “Yes,” Laurent says. I would have come back, Damen thinks, if you’d told me. Except it’s not true; he would have come back for much less. He’s here now, sitting across from Laurent in this mediocre coffee shop, talking things out, making an effort, thinking of reaching out to finally, finally, hold Laurent’s hand. It’s strange, looking at Laurent and knowing he’s the only other person on earth that feels the same way he does. Where else would Damen go? Who else would he talk to? No one will ever get it, not the way Laurent does. And Laurent knows it. He must, or else he would not be sitting here either. There is only this, Damen thinks. At least for him, there will only ever be this.

So there is that. Damen is hopelessly devoted to Laurent. But that doesn’t make getting back together with him a good decision. Love would not be a good reason to return to an abusive relationship.

Another NOT good reason would be Damen believing the fact that he made mistakes cancels out Laurent’s harmful behavior. The text makes that explicitly clear through Neo:

Neo’s pen hops; a period appears at the end of a sentence. “Apologies can be hard to navigate. It’s sort of like… You’ve wronged me, and you know that you’ve wronged me, and now you’re apologizing for it while expecting me to forgive you. It’s quite a lot to put on a person.” “There are degrees to wrong,” Damen says. His chair feels smaller, like it’s locking him in instead of holding him up. The armrests keep getting in the way of his elbows. “And it’s not like I didn’t have stuff I had to apologize for too. I don’t get why you’re trying to make this seem like a bad thing.” “I’m not.” “Then why—” “Do you think you deserved an apology from Laurent?” Damen leans back and back and back, until his shoulder blades find something solid. Did he deserve…? He’d wanted one, once. In Nikandros’s guest room, with only beige and white and terracotta everything around him, he’d had staring matches with his own phone. He’d thought Laurent might call, at the very beginning. Apologizing. Begging. But Laurent never did. “Yeah,” Damen says. Neo’s head begins to tilt. “You don’t sound too sure about that.” “I am sure.” “All right,” Neo says. “Why do you deserve an apology?” “I told you already. He treated me like I was an idiot.” “How?” “How—what?” “How exactly did he treat you like you were an idiot? What were his actions towards you?” “I,” Damen starts, but something in Neo’s face makes him pause. “He’d say things when we argued.” “Such as?” “That I was an asshole.” Neo nods. “And how did you feel when you heard him say that? Did you feel like it was fair?” “I felt like he was an asshole,” Damen says. “Sometimes.” “Whereas now you feel like he was right?” He was right about Nicaise. And maybe about Ancel, too. “I don’t know what you want me to say.” “I don’t want you to say anything,” Neo says. “I’m just trying to get you to think about things from a different perspective. Laurent apologized, which is an important—not to say crucial—step in rebuilding any kind of relationship. But it seems to me that you’re holding onto this newly found belief that because you acted a certain way, because you made mistakes, you somehow deserved the way he treated you throughout the last stages of your relationship.” “That’s not what I think,” Damen says. “All right. Then you think you deserved the apology because the way he treated you was wrong.” “Yes. But…” “But…?” Damen’s face feels hot, the heat lodged right over his molars. “Doesn’t it kind of cancel out? Like, we both fucked up.” “Those are two different issues,” Neo says. “So no, they don’t cancel out. What he did to you and what you did to him are obviously connected, but someone doing something wrong or bad is not an excuse to do the wrong or bad thing back to them.” Neo gives his pen a tap. “Or it does, I suppose. It depends on your belief system. But you don’t strike me as an ‘eye for an eye’ fan.” I don’t want any eyes, Damen thinks.

I interpret the failed second try (or second strike) of Damen and Laurent’s relationship to have been somewhat based on the “cancel out” reasoning from above. The “cancel out” and move past approach did not work because they failed to address the many insecurities, communication failures, and problematic patterns that plagued the first time around. A discussion with Neo (again) makes this clear. Damen hasn’t yet learned to listen to what Laurent is saying without letting his insecurities and anger get in the way:

But Damen isn’t in Laurent’s position. You’ll never get it, Laurent had said about Nicaise. Maybe it’s true. “I get why he did it. I’ve been thinking, and it’s not—I get it. Nicaise being embarrassed, wanting Laurent in the room because he was the least angry of—” “I don’t think that’s why,” Neo says. “Or at least, that’s not what you’ve just told me Laurent said about the whole thing.” “What?” “Laurent talked extensively about roles. Did you notice that?” “No.” “He presents himself as the scapegoat for Nicaise’s anger, while you’re the one Nicaise admires and wants to impress.” Tap, tap, tap. Damen imagines Neo’s fingers flying across the keyboard. “It seems to me Nicaise wasn’t concerned about the different intensity levels of your—as in, yours and Laurent’s—anger. He knew you were both angry.” “Laurent was better at handling it.” “Was he?” “I couldn’t stop thinking about the guy,” Damen says. Guys, his brain supplies, helpful as ever. “I still can’t. Even now, I know it’s not—that’s not important. I was yelling at Nicaise. I wasn’t listening.” “And that’s why Nicaise didn’t want you to go with him to the clinic?” Damen closes his eyes. He needs to repaint his ceiling, do something about the lack of texture there. “Laurent said something about abandonment,” Neo tries. A nudge. “You’ve mentioned Nicaise doesn’t do well with change, that he’s got a tendency to latch onto routines and people. Do you think it might be possible that he was trying to preserve the relationship he has with you?” “By keeping me out of a medical examination room.” “Yes.” “That’s what Laurent said.” “Well,” Neo says. “It sounds plausible.”

Damen wanted magically for them to be over their past:

“Right,” Damen says. “You don’t do should and shouldn’t. I forgot.” “Are you upset?” Are you angry with me? “I don’t know,” Damen says. “We were supposed to be past this, and now it’s out there and I can’t—we can’t—” “How were you supposed to be past this, if this had never been discussed before today?” “You said it’s impossible to discuss everything.”

So, I don’t think it’s a strong interpretation of the text to say that @thickenmyblood is trying to present Damen in an unfairly negative light in order to excuse Laurent’s much worse behavior and thereby make it okay for them to get back together. Cancelling out isn’t what the HEA of the story is set up to be about.

That said – and given the fact that Damen is still in love with Laurent – what GOOD reasons might Damen have to try the relationship again?

For one, he is beginning to understand better what the fights with Laurent about Nicaise were about. Moreover, they have now explicitly acknowledged that they are co-parenting Nicaise and Laurent has expressed a clear commitment to them parenting Nicaise as a team.

For another, Damen has a much improved understanding of the role of therapy and the complexities of mental health. He has a long ways to go on this front, but I don’t think we’ll see him dismissing or belittling Laurent’s mental health needs. Moreover, Damen has ways of addressing his own mental health needs and talking things through with a person who doesn’t share his triggers and emotional investments around Laurent.

For a third, he has made a commitment to working through their issues in therapy and has concluded that he trusts Laurent to try just as hard as he will to repair and strengthen their relationship.

Crucially, Damen has also learned to stand up for himself when he feels Laurent is implying that he is incapable of understanding things. This means he can point it out and Laurent can recognize when he is retreating into a defensive, harmful pattern. This also allows Damen to indicate that something isn’t obvious to him and to ask Laurent to explain it kindly and clearly. I think that is the only way they can reconcile their very different life histories and relationships to social normativity.

ONCE AGAIN, believing this about HIUH Damen relative to HIUH Laurent does not mean that I believe this is something all (or even very many) real life people who were previously in unhealthy relationships should aim for or could achieve.

Which brings us to our bonus questions:

A. Is an HIUH Laurent who harms Damen through abusive behavior mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

No, in fact, this is not a mischaracterization. Laurent abused Damen in canon. He took him as a slave. He sought Damen’s public humiliation. He had Damen whipped to an extent that would have killed most other people. He placed Damen in a situation that (for almost any other person) would have resulted in a violent public rape. He also forced Damen to engage in public and non-consensual oral sex. Later, when he understood Damen more emotionally and was feeling insecure or threatened, he lied about his feelings and motivations out of shame and self-hatred and with the aim of hurting Damen enough to drive him away.

B. Is an HIUH Damen who chooses to be with Laurent despite past abuse mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

Damen fell in love with Laurent after all that abuse because he came to understand its source and because he saw other sides of Laurent that were caring and honorable and expressed a commitment to achieving justice, even if not by fully honest means. He came to understand Laurent as a survivor, even before he became aware of what exactly Laurent had survived. He stuck with Laurent through all of Laurent’s attempts to push him away and fought for what should have been an impossible relationship. And throughout this process, he learned about his own naivete and to question key elements of his upbringing, like the quest for war glory and the belief that “perfect treatment” justified slavery.

Captive Prince is a seductive and enthralling trilogy. And we willingly suspend any disbelief about whether Laurent’s trauma can truly be overcome simply by Damen’s noble nature and magical healing cock.

Why not do the same for HIUH? (Or, you know, just stop reading it.)

Although I do think Maca may owe us some healing cock. Just sayin’.

#captive prince #captive prince fanfic #hiuh #damen x laurent #thickenmyblood #hand in unlovable hand #neither my wife nor child reads this fic and i suck at fandom these days but i need to talk about this masterwork #clearly when you are just about to finish your academic book you experience a sudden need to analyze the fuck out of other things

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autistichalsin · 10 months ago

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Hey can people. Like. Can you not send me anons on here calling into question whether I was 'really' sexually abused. Just because one of the ways I cope with it is by writing fiction about characters engaging in CNC kink. (Sanctioned by my therapist mind you. Not that I should have to share private medical information to justify fiction. But she did. Very much. Say that writing fiction about this kink- and. Yes. I did say this particular kink when I asked- is a good way. To work through my feelings). Can you like. Not. Question whether I actually was sexually abused. Just because you don't like that I wrote about Halsin and his loving partner exploring kink to make him feel better about his traumas. I feel like that really shouldn't be a big ask. I feel like that should in fact be very easy for you to not do. I feel like it should be very. Very easy. For you to look at my fic and go "oh that's really not for me" instead of. Instead of telling me. To my face. That you don't think that what my sister and what my boyfriend when I was a teen did to me. Actually happened. I feel like that should be something that it is really, trivially easy to not do. I feel like, if you really feel any kind of way about defending survivors. Which you claim to. You claim to be doing this to protect survivors. And in that case. I really do feel like it should be like. Really, really easy to have disagreements about fiction. Without trying to erase the actual abuse I. A real person. Faced. Just because you didn't like the kink fic I wrote. Like.

I shouldn't be surprised. But somehow I am.

That anon is blocked now but. What the fuck.

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malusokay · 5 months ago

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Hi! How are you? I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I love it so much! I listened to your advice about therapy and how it has helped you so I’m gonna try it out and talk to my family about it since I now am old enough and that I have a job. I’m trying to get more confident and secure within myself. I also wanted to ask for more advice from you as someone who has gone to therapy, is there any advice or tips you would recommend for someone who is 17 trying to do better from in and out and build a brand new life that is wonderful? I know you have so many tips on everything and you are so wise I just don’t know where to finally begin to start or in what order is right. Or what advice from you to follow? I want a new start, and a better physical start so I can build myself up to be better and I don’t wanna go back to any old habits and I wanna build a new better me. Any advice would help

Thank you again! Love you!

It makes me so happy to hear that you're taking such amazing steps to better yourself, when it comes to therapy there are quite a few tips I can share since I was in therapy from 13 to 18. <33

Try being honest with your therapist. during my earlier years of therapy, I did nothing but lie and lie and lie and lie. I would have progressed much quicker if I had just dared to speak up, but sometimes it takes time; despite my many lies, I still learned so so so much.

If you can't say it, write it down. when I got older, I switched to a different therapist; with her, I did this thing where if I had something I needed to tell her but I couldn't get myself to say it, I would write it to her, and she would then find a way to guide me through it.

establish little routines with your therapist. just like I did with the writing thing, therapists are there to help you, so if you, for example, struggle to speak up, discuss that with your therapist and find a way to work around that.

keep a diary. many therapists suggest writing "daily or weekly reports", but I mean a REAL diary. one that's just for yourself and no one else, where you really write down how you feel and pour out all your worries and emotions because you know no one but you will ever read it. my diary literally keeps me sane.

as stupid as this may sound... the whole "work out, eat well, sleep, go outside, drink water bla bla bla" that every doctor tells you... it, unfortunately, actually works. every time someone said that to me, I just wanted to scream because it sounded so silly, but now that I'm better, those are the things I do to stay feeling good, so maybe they weren't all that wrong after all...

I hope this little list can help you get started on your journey, and if you have any more questions, need to talk, or want to update me/us on how things are going, please just feel free to send me another ask, and I'll be happy to listen or give advice in any to me possible way!!

You've got this ad I love you <33

#malusokay #girl blogger #askmalu #live laugh girlblog #girly stuff #glow up #glow up tips #mental health #mental heath support

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faraway-sunshine · 9 days ago

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Asker Dos and Don'ts

I'm sorry, this is going to contain so many don'ts, I feel bad!

Do:

Send asks!

Send asks with media or links!

Share any anecdotes, other stories, anything on that line so long as it's constructive (as in, Sunny can answer it with more than "oh damn" or "cool" or "I'll check it out later")

Feel free to send fanworks based on the blog! I will appreciate you for eternity

Push Sunny if he's initially evasive about a question - he's not a very reliable narrator after all ;)

Ask about other aspects of the world, such as other characters, his school, or whatever!

Hint about ships - a whole tag is dedicated to Sunny questioning himself regarding his sexuality.

Send stuff to me, the admin - just mark it as such as I default to answering as Sunny.

Check if it's been asked before by combing the blog.

Don't

Spam a question. It won't make me get to it any faster. If you're worried Tumblr ate it, wait at least three days for the first resend, a week for the second, and a week after that if I seem dead.

Send vents. I understand you mean well and I'm touched that you consider this blog safe, but! I'm not a therapist! Neither is Sunny! We're both mentally ill recovering teenagers who have a lot in our own lives and can't handle the stress! I'm sure you're a nice person but please talk to your parents, friends, doctor, or one of the hot/text lines on this list - they're all confidential.

Send asks in languages other than English - unless you're okay with being put through Google Translate.

Send random poems, songs, etc that aren't related to the blog in an obvious way. I'm sorry for those that put a lot of time and effort into them, I've seen some real wonderful stuff! But it's been getting spammed a bit and I don't have the energy to either halfass answers or spend an hour writing an analysis on each one. And neither does Sunny!

If you send a link, understand chances are it won't exist in Sunny's time.

Talk about modern politics; I'll very occasionally bring up past political issues, though very minimally as Sunny is by default disinterested.

Push your own headcanons or ships - you could talk about knowing someone where it ended differently or whatnot, but yelling into the inbox will not make me change my mind about my world. If anything, it'd make me resent the headcanon or ship if I get spammed over it.

Send anything that would be considered crossing a line anywhere else. This includes slurs, NSFW content beyond frank discussions of those topics, and serious threats directed at me, the admin.

Advertise. Anything that encourages people to look at an external link which benefits you directly (i.e an online shop, social media account, crowdfund business start-up, fundraiser) is banned. I understand often times are tough but this is meant to be a safe space. Yes, I did make a post to signal-boost a (now taken down) Lego Ideas set in the past, but that required no money shared and was tied directly to the blog's fandom (as in, it wasn't a political petition or similar). It's an exception and not one I expect to repeat anytime in the near future.

Roleplay as a canon character, though I appreciate the enthusiasm!

Try to use Anon powers - nice try. It's as tangible as Sunny reading a blog in real life. You can't send 100 tacos to me through the inbox, so you can't do that to Sunny either.

Happy asking!

#omori #ask sunny from omori #omori sunny #sunny omori

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mama-vaggie · 7 months ago

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Hi! Please feel free to ignore this, I am not trying to hate at all! Just curious!/gen Why do you tak care of Rhea but not other vent littles?/lh /gen /curious I know your mental health isn't the best, so I now that could be reason, I just thought that if it was, you would take a step back form Rhea too. Again no hate what so ever!/gen sending lots of love Sorry if this came off as rude or offensive!/gen

Dear Anon

I am Mod E, I dont normally answer asks in anyway on Vaggie's blog. Im just here to monitor the inbox, make special announcements, and block problematic blogs, however, Mod Ocean (aka Vaggie) and I agreed that its probably best that I handle your ask in particular in order to allow you to help you get a better understanding of what actually is going on here.

We know you meant nothing offensive in your ask and that you are genuinely concerned about Mod Ocean and her mental health. However 'stepping back' from Rhea is not possible. This is because Mod Ocean and Rhea are the same person.

Now its a little hard for me to explain. Im going to be using terms generally used by systems (I myself am part of a system) but I want to make it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR:

MOD OCEAN DOES NOT HAVE DID AND IS NOT A SYSTEM NOR IS SHE CLAIMING TO BE A SYSTEM!

IT IS JUST EASIER FOR MYSELF (MOD E, A MEDICALLY RECOGNIZED SYSTEM) TO EXPLAIN THIS USING SYSTEM TERMINOLOGIES!

Mod Ocean has a diagnosis of BPD. One of the effects of BPD is (quote taken from the NHS website) "disturbed patterns of thinking or perception – "cognitive distortions" or "perceptual distortions" " I personally dont like the use of the term 'disturbed' here but that is straight from this website: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/symptoms/

There isnt a lot of research into BPD and how these distortions manifest in individuals but for Mod Ocean, it manifests in almost alter-like personalities that have taken on an appearance and have histories all their own. They tend to 'come to front' to help Mod Ocean process the extreme emotional disregulation that comes with BPD.

Mod Ocean is my best friend, she has been a massive support in my own journey of discovering that im part of a system and encouraging me to speak to a therapist. Rhea is real. She has her own thoughts and feelings that can be hurt. I can always tell there is a massive difference when im talking to Ocean vs when Im talking to Rhea or Jadie vs when im talking to Vaggie.

So your ask was sent with good intentions, yes. But you also sent it under an incorrect assumption. Vaggie cannot take a step back from Rhea.

This is also part of the reason why Mod Ocean isnt always comfortable handling other vent regressors. They are always welcome to reach out to her, vent and cry and that but when they start getting violent/aggressive towards themselves or her is when she has to step back.

I hope this makes sense and helps explain the situation a bit better. If you have any further questions please reach out to me on my blog @the-hellion-collective and ill answer any questions you may have to the best of my ability.

~Mod E 👾

#hazbin hotel age regression #hazbin hotel agere #hazbin hotel roleplay #hazbin hotel rp #sfw age regression #caregiver vaggie #hazbin hotel #sfw age dreamer #hazbin hotel vaggie #vaggie #Mod E #important

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goth-pod · 10 months ago

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Goth-Pod Ep 4: Community

Welcome back to Goth-Pod!

After the recent rogue attacks, Juda Boone is asking to listen to YOUR Gotham troubles! Head over to our page and click on the "Talk to Juda!" button to submit your trademark-Gotham questions, comments, concerns.

We look forward to hearing from you!

[goth-pod is a fictional in-universe podcast based on the DC comics universe. Juda Boone is an original fictional character, not based on any real person or known comic book character. The mentioned "Gotham City's Best" is not a real podcast, that I know of.]

Transcript under the cut

Hello everyone and welcome back! This is Goth-Pod, your gotham-based podcast. Speaking to you today is your favorite nocturnal mammal and host, Juda Boone.

A week ago, Rouge "Dr." Hugo Strange- and as we are in a non-visual media space, I hope you can pick up on my air quotes- “Dr.” Hugo Strange kidnapped all of Gotham's known therapists and held them hostage.

For full coverage of that story, remember to check out Gotham City's Best: A True Crime Podcast run by my friends Holly and Spence.

This ordeal was thankfully resolved quickly by the Bat and his baby bird, Robin. But the question arose: Would it be ethical for these therapists to all go back to work so soon after a rogue attack?

Obviously the answer is no. And if you are someone who is in need of mental health resources at this time, please take advantage of Wayne Enterprise's efforts- completely free to sign up.

On the lighthearted side of things, we here at Goth-Pod saw something of an opportunity. Gothamites still need a way to feel connected, to feel heard and to know they’re not alone.

We’re our best selves when we lean on our community.

So, for a limited time, we have opened our services to listen and respond to the trials and troubles Gothamites are going through. With a post that read: “Send your messages to Juda now! They are not a licensed therapist, but neither is Hugo Strange!”

I know, I know. I spoke before in a previous episode about how I do not intend to rile up any of Gotham's rogues. But I am a Gotham citizen and we tend to go down swinging.

In the next episode, we will be offering advice or just a listening ear to some of your send-ins.

I'm Juda and this is Goth-Pod. Until then, stay safe Gotham.

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dreaisgrayte · 9 months ago

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Fragments | Satoru Gojo x YN [TEASER]

“Wow.” Is all you can muster, but it riles him up enough. His energy is icy hot, running all over your skin as he buzzes through spots. You feel like throwing up by the time he’s taken you back to your room. You’re surprised you didn’t melt away and by the looks of it, Satoru is liking the fact you could handle him. You wonder if he’d share the same look if you were able to take his cock all the way. You’d clutch the sheets as he slowly pressed himself into your entrance, grinning like a fool when his hips snapped against your thighs. You’d be his pretty girl, a true match for him.

“YN?” Satoru is blinking down at you from where you sit on the bed. Your brows draw together in confusion. Your stomach had that conflicted mix of emotions again. Then again, maybe you just had to throw up.

“Your fucking teleportation messed up my brain.” You whack his arm, harder than you mean to. He tilts his head while you throw yourself back on the bed. The coolness of the sheets are a welcome change from the clammy mess he’d made you. He always had to put you through one thing or another.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He questions, sitting next to you.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” You grumble, shoving him to no avail. He was always pestering you. Asking for you to clarify the meaning of your words, wondering how you were feeling, if you had a good day or not. It made your stomach churn in an angry storm. He laughs softly leaning back against the wall.

“Probably, but I kind of just want to stay here.” He replies, studying the clothes you’d hung up to dry in the nice breeze. Your body cools as his words hit your brain. Which wasn’t working right. Damn it, you needed to get away from this fuck face. The only option was to push him away with your words. If that didn’t work you’d have to move onto the final card. Besides, getting some of your pent up frustration would probably feel good. Lord knows you’ve had years to think about what you’d say to him when you got the chance.

“So people can change?” You laugh dryly. Satoru sucks in a breath, picking up on your change in tone.

“Okay, obviously you want to talk about it. So let’s talk about it.” He sits up and you follow suit after a pause. Well, that worked a bit better than you’d originally thought it would.

“I’m only allowed to tell my therapist my feelings.” You shrug, moving to stand from the bed. Satoru stops you with a gentle hand reaching out for your hand.

“YN, I’m a dick.” He states. You roll your eyes. That and so much more.

“They say you are what you eat.” His serious look cracks into a smile then falls just as quickly. This whole conversation was making you feel gross.

“I missed you.” His words send a poisonous coil up your spine. You flip to look at him, a genuine scowl on your face. This asshole could send you hurling into a frenzy of confusion and then make you want to stab him about eighty-thousand times.

“But you saw me every month.” You snap in a faux sweet tone. His eyes widen and for a moment you want to stop. Stop all of it. You just wanted your best friend back. “Listen, I can’t do this right now Satoru.” Even his name feels foreign on your tongue.

“I thought you wanted to reconcile.” He whispers and it stings almost like an insult. You stand and nod your head in agreement.

“Oh I do, but it’s going to take me a while to get used to the big city again.” You shoot a look over your shoulder. “My life is still controlled by the clan and unlike you, I don’t get off when I disobey. I didn’t have a choice, at any point.” Your face twitches as your eyes well up. Fuck – this was getting to real for you. The aloof flip between just trying to get him to leave and actually having this conversation was tearing you up inside.

“Then…why are you here?” Fucking blue eyed freak. Your body feels hot and cold, both temperatures running up your nerves like pinpricks. Time for the last card.

“Want me to show you?” His brows are constantly drawn together around you. You don’t blame him, even you were perplexed on where this conversation had gone.

“What?” He sounds like he’s both asking a question and answering you. He scoots to the edge of the bed and you position yourself between his knees. His hands absentmindedly trail up the back of your thighs. The sensation of his fingertips on your bare skin make the world around you swirl. It could be the dizzy feeling or the way his hands felt against your skin, either way, you lean down to press your lips against his. His mouth moves against yours this time, wrapping his hands around the back of your knees. He pulls lightly to where you’re straddling him. With his mouth still connected to yours he shifts you back a bit more. You break for air, smothered by his presence again. “Fuck.” He hisses. He moves one of his hands to your ass, the other one playing with the dip of your hip.

“That tickles.” You say under a hitched breath while your eyes roll shut. Betrayed by your own body. By this point you should be used to those close to you betraying you. Satoru hums in content as his hand slips under your top.

“Like you fuckin’ care.” His long fingers slide against your skin, finding the soft material of your bra. You press your hips down, begging for friction against his thigh. “Slow down darlin’, enjoy the ride.”

Your eyes open suddenly and you place your hands on his chest. Don’t make it obvious. He’s looking at you expectantly. Waiting for you…willing to listen. Damn it.

“I need to go.” You blurt. His eyes widen as you scurry off of him and out of the room. Before his eyes can peer into your body, find the truth behind your words, you nearly jump off him. You scramble outside and bite down on your finger to hold in the scream. You weren’t ready for that, in no way were you ready to have Satoru touching your bare skin. Have his…burning hands all over your body, trancing the curves and dimples.

You definitely weren’t ready for it to feel that good. You weren’t supposed to like this. You cover your face and scream inside your hands. Fuck.

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betweenthings2 · 2 months ago

Note

ok i just got up to the cafe scene in my totally coherent (lies) rant about this fic and DELETED IT im fucking FUMING. they should allow drafts for asks. but we move. and i will rewrite it but BETTER. OK LETS GO

Now, Matty’s in halfway in his lap and they’re looking through listings their estate agent has sent them.

in his lap 😭😭 that's so cute im gonna cry i love this. its so simple but makes me feel like 🌟 that

Matty is quiet for another few moments, then, very quietly, he says, “I think I could have died there. Either he’d push me far enough that I killed myself, or I’d overdose on accident, or he’d get violent enough.” Matty pauses, then, “In the moment, that’s not what I thought, but in retrospect, I think I could have. I think he could have, if I’d stayed. I think I would have let him.”

:( "I think I would have let him" :( this is Heartbreaking and i need to die. it's just so. weak and i cannot DEAL WITH THIS. my cat just gave me an odd look for the noise i made at this. lord. "or he'd get violent enough" :(((

Matty shakes his head. “Not now. Not yet. Maybe never. I don’t want you to hear about that, I don’t think. I don’t want you to feel like you didn’t do enough in the moment, either. You’ve done more than enough. You did all you could. I wouldn’t have let you do more.”

😭 I 😭 WOULDNT 😭 HAVE 😭 LET 😭 YOU 😭 DO 😭 MORE 😭 OHMYGOD. im gonna sob this is so :(((((( genuinely need this entire thing tattooed on my back or something

Matty’s crying, George realizes, and begging, saying, “Please, please, please, just stop it,” over and over, but he’s resigned himself to George’s hold, any fight he had gone.

i feel like a sad face emoticon. :( <- me. reading this puts like a pit in my stomach and its so beautiful i can feel my heart clenching inside my chest

Matty recoils and cries harder, begging, “Don’t touch me. Please. I don’t want it. Please don’t.”

i need a gun . im telling my therapist about this .

And then Matty tugs the blankets back up to his chin and makes a pointed effort to go back to sleep, so that’s the end of the conversation.

kind of obsessed w the implication that matty has to do this because his words werent enough for squilliam william bitchilliam...what if i cry. and also i just love it

Sometimes, George will have dreams where he loses Matty, dreams where Matty didn’t leave the man who hurt him, dreams where Matty never went to rehab, dreams where Matty overdosed in a back alley of an unfamiliar city. George never goes back to sleep after those dreams, just stays awake and watches Matty sleep, reminding himself that whatever his brain dreamed up isn’t real.

currently sad facing. oh my god. :(((( love how u get the idea that mental illness also affects the people near u and not just urself without it being Mean. im. gonna cry. i love this so much its making me unwell

The Prada store is quiet and sleek when George walks in and a sales associate is quick to greet him. He explains that he has an item on hold and the associate is quick to walk him over to the counter and pull a sleek box from behind it. She carefully opens it up to revel the chain necklace George had seen online, then, when he assures her that he’s happy with it, she wraps it back up and sends him on his way.

CHAIN NECKLACE MENTIONED!!!!!!!!!!!! CHAIN NECKLACE MY BELOVED AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. this is so cute though pls a necklace!!! im so :')))

“I’ve got George,” Matty says, like it’s an answer to every question Denise could think to ask.

this paragraph is making me feel things that humans should not be allowed to feel. HES GOT GEORGE 😭😭😭 AND ITS THE ANSWER TO EVERY QUESTION HELLO this is romance and its going to make me explode

At some point, George drifts off, too and he wakes to Matty in the throes of another nightmare. There’s no flailing or thrashing around this time, just whimpers and begging, and he’s clinging to George’s t-shirt like it’s a lifeline. George doesn’t know what to do. He knows that you shouldn’t wake someone up when they’re having a nightmare, but that means he has to stay here and watch Matty suffer, stay here and listen to Matty whimper and beg like he’s being tortured. Maybe he is, in his head.

☹️. SAD FACE. genuinely this is so wonderful (in a sad way) i need you in the history books. the fact hes just accepted it ☹️ SAD FACE AGAIN

“You can’t. You can’t undo it. You can’t undo what he did to me. You can’t fix it. You can’t help.”

im about to be on international news...i am going to DIE. you cant undo what he did to me NO BUT I CAN STILL BUY A GUN. william when i catch u william... the rage in my soul... i need to watch carpet cleaning videos to calm down

George is silent for a moment. He’s not entirely sure what to say or how to respond to all the concerning things Matty’s just said. What comes out when he opens his mouth is, “Do you, I, you, kill yourself? Matty, fuck, Matty, do you wanna kill yourself?”

the stress in his words Oh My GOD. the way you write is so like. i can pick the words off the page and feel them im about to explode and die george NO

“It was drugs in exchange for sex no matter how you shape it, and I did that,” Matty interrupts. “I let that happen. Part of me thought that was a fair trade. All I wanted was to be high. And sure, I said no and that I didn’t want it, but I could have fought harder and the times I was so high I couldn’t do anything are my fault because he didn’t force me to use, I made that choice. That’s all on me. I could have done something, and I didn’t because I wanted a fucking supplier.”

pay for my therapy. oh my god. i genuinely cannot deal with this at all im going to cry how can you put so much SADNESS into like 30 words ?!?!

“I know what it was, George. Don’t say it. I can’t take hearing you say it.”

im going to cry so much that all of europe will be submerged in saltwater for millions of years. oh my fucking god i need DEATH i feel SICK

George wants to cry, wants to slump down to the floor right there in the hallway of this house that doesn’t even feel like home anymore because Matty has been so miserable in it and sob. He doesn’t. All George does is head back downstairs and slump down onto the couch. He needs someone to talk to, but it’s all about Matty and he’s pretty sure the only person who knows more about what how Matty’s doing is Matty. He doesn’t do anything, just lights a cigarette and blows smoke towards the ceiling. He misses Matty, he thinks. God, he misses Matty.

!!! again with how mental illness also affects people around u !!! IM SICK. theyre both so sad i just need them to hug for three hours and make everything all okay for the rest of time

Maybe, George thinks, he should text Adam. Matty told Adam about the sex that wasn’t really sex, but they can’t use the other word, the big, scary, horrible word for it because Matty won’t use it and if Matty won’t use it, George won’t either. It Matty told Adam that, then maybe Adam’s the person to talk to.

i am going to vomit and die. the way the tone is like?? childish almost?! and how that just makes it hurt more ?!?!?!? I AM GOING TO DIE. adam is always the person to speak to though. adam is the best

“I know that’s what you’re worried about. That’s what you’re always going to be worried about, what everyone is always going to be worried about, and I know if I say I just wanna sleep then I’m right back where I started, but fuck, I just wanna sleep.”

this is so sad and i love him so much and i need him to be HAPPY oh my god . he's just :((((((((( so pained :((((((( george pls just hug him and use ur george powers to make everything Good

“Maybe you should talk to someone, too,” Matty says quietly. “It might help. Same way you think it’ll help me.”

“We’re not talking about me,” George says. “We’re talking about you.”

Matty shrugs. “I’m just saying. Don’t spend all your energy trying to make me feel better so things end up shit for you.”

the noise i just made is something...so far from human. they love each other so much and matty can see hes hurting and george can see it but wont accept it and im just going to cry

“He’s still himself,” George protests. “He’s still Matty, still only sleeps on the right side of the bed, still likes his tea ridiculously sweet, still laughs at his own stupid jokes, still tries to have three different conversations at once. He’s still brilliant.”

where are the tissues. i need tissues. screaming crying throwing up as though ive just received the news that my wife of 70 years has died. oH MY GOD pls im genuinely sick george loves him so much and hes just :(:((:(:((:(:((:((:((:(

Adam nods. “You’ve always been a little bit protective of him, which seemed a little bit silly most of the time, but I think that maybe he needs that now, so it’s good that he’s got you.” He pauses again, then continues, “I don’t think I’d know what to do. I could be there for him, I have been, and I will be, but I don’t think I’d know what to do. I’ve never known what to do when he cries, but you always do.” There’s another pause, then, “You’re doin’ good, is all.”

😭 HES 😭 DOING 😭 GOOD 😭 im going to die. i looove how u write their dynamic SOSOSO MUCH like it just seems so natural and open and HQJDKWUSJKSO <- me

Matty’s quiet for a moment, then says, “I just wanna be normal.”

:((((( he just wants to be normal :((((((( this is doing damage to me im making the minecraft zombie taking damage noise currently . hes so sad i just want him to be HAPPY. see no i say i want him to be happy but repeatedly read fics that make him borderline suicidal. masochism

Matty gives a tiny nod. “It does,” he says. “’s a good reminder.”

“Then I’ll keep saying it,” George promises. “I love you.”

THEN ILL KEEP SAYING IT 😭😭😭😭😭 IM GOING TO CRY MY EYES OUT. theyre so sweet and soft and 😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️ i just love them so much and i love how you write them especially because !!! its AMAZING

After a few minutes, Matty comes out of the bathroom, curls tamed, but still looking a little bit like he’s just rolled out of bed. George can’t help but find it endearing, but he doesn’t anything. Matty doesn’t either, just gets dressed and heads downstairs, so George follows.

im getting this engraved into granite and putting it as my headstone. sobbing i love them

“I spend a lot of time thinkin’ about you,” George tries.

PUTTING THIS ON MY HEADSTONE TOO HELLO STOP THIS. i love them and their relationship and im not prepared for them to have difficult conversations again Nooooooooo (yeessssssssssss)

“I know you’re gonna do great,” George counters. The light for the crosswalk changes and he adds, “C’mon. Lemme buy you coffee and tell you you’re pretty.”

BUY U A COFFEE AND TELL U UR PRETTY 😭😭😭😭😭 this is gonna put me in my grave im so. mattys so vulnerable and george is just happy (debatable) to be there and im obsessed with it and their dynamic. LORD

George can’t help but chuckle and smile at Matty, all of his love and care obvious, and says, “You are pretty. You’re the prettiest person I’ve ever had in my bed, prettiest person I’ve ever gotten to make breakfast for, prettiest person I’ve ever been ridiculously in love with.”

hey so im not okay. theyre too cute my heart is about to burst out of my chest i CANT TAKE THIS

“You’re supposed to have a reaction to that,” Matty says quietly. “You’re supposed to have something to say.”

IM SAD AGAIN. STOP. actually no dont stop ever at all. IM SO 😭😭😭 matthew pls no i need him to feel only joy and love and peace and never be sad ever again ☹️☹️☹️

“Thanks,” Matty says quietly. He takes a drink of his coffee, then adds, “She thinks you’re good for me.”

:((((((( george is good for him :(((((( george is just good for everyone i think. an angel boy. im going to sob

Even though it’s an echo of Matty’s sentiment the day before—George can’t believe that conversation on the patio was just yesterday—but it doesn’t hurt any less to hear. All George can do is try, “You are you, Matty. You’re still the person I love, still the only person I’ve ever been ridiculously in love with. You’re still someone I recognize and know. I know you ‘cause you’re still you. I’ll always know you. You’re still my Matty.”

"MY MATTY" ☹️☹️☹️ my heart is going to pop out of my chest and explode into green glitter and when it falls down onto the floor it will say I LOVE THE BIG LIGHT SERIES BY AO3 AND TUMBLR USER BETWEENTHINGS2 and then i will explode into rainbow glitter and it will put sparkles around it. can you tell im normal about this fic

Matty agrees, and allows George to urge him to his feet and out of the café, but once they get outside, he stops and fixes George with a skeptical look, asking, “What do you mean you having something for me?”

George stops too and says, “If you’d keep walking, you’ll see.” When Matty doesn’t move, he adds, “It’s ten minutes home. You’ve anticipated much more for much longer.”

I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE EVERYTHING the way u write them. i will say this again and again. is amazing. pls. it's just so !!! and sweet and nice and even when theyre sad it's like it's got a haze of Love over it. im gonna die

“You’re adorable,” George says, coming to stand in front of Matty.

Matty offers a cheeky smile and says, “I know.”

And, god, that’s Matty. That’s George’s Matty.

HE KNOOOWSSSSS 😭😭😭 im gonna BAWL im so. thats georges matty !!!!!!!!!!! they are two parts of a whole and im going to Explode over it

Matty takes a deep breath, the kind a deep breath a person takes when they’re trying very hard to keep their emotions in check, the kind of deep breath Matty takes when he’s trying not to cry, and says, “’m good, G. ‘s good, really good.”

i feel like an exclamation mark. hes so happy and im :((((((( obsessed with them im gonna explode

Carefully, almost reverently, George drapes the chain around Matty’s neck and fastens the clasp. Before he can think twice about it, he leans forward and presses a very gentle kiss to the back of Matty’s neck, just about the clasp of the necklace.

i need to be put down because i am EMOTIONAL and this is going to make me cry plsplspls i love i love i love. reverently !!! kissing the back of his neck !!! i am !!! !!! !!!

this is a masterpiece and i REALLY hope u know it because u are amazing and everything u write is like an actual. gift from god or something like its sososo beautiful and wonderful and amazing and AAAAAHHHHH. my chest is tight and ive read this like 6 times in the past 3 days. enjoy ur day and Plsplspls know that u are amazing 🙂‍↕🫶🫶🫶

First of all, thank you so, so much!! Second of all, you're right--Tumblr really should let you draft asks. There are a lot of things Tumblr should let you do, though.

They're moving in together!! They're buying a house together!! They get to have a fresh start in a place that's theirs that was never a host to all the pain and misery and guilt! It's going to be so good for them!

Things are not so good for them. Poor fictional!Matty is struggling so much and hindsight and sobriety are not helping, and if he has very little self-esteem with fictional!George, he had, like, negative self-esteem with fuckin' William and he absolutely would have let himself be pushed too far. =(

I wouldn't have let you do more =(!!!!!!!!!! <- that's how I feel about that and I wrote it. Fictional!George wants to have done more, he wishes he'd have followed fictional!Matty inside and not let him be alone that first night he came home, wishes he'd have noticed sooner and done more to get fictional!Matty out, and fictional!Matty knows that, but there's no way he would have let fictional!George do anything more than he did. Fictional!George knows that, too, but he hates it. Everyone is sad, as they so often are in my fics.

The whole entire nightmare scene is just so. I just wrote this scene for the fictional!Matty!POV version of this fic and it is, dare I say, possibly even sadder. Also, tell your therapist I made you sad before you buy a gun. Maybe don't buy a gun at all, actually.

Fictional!George has nightmares, too, and they're all about losing fictional!Matty =( =( I know I keep saying it, but he loves fictional!Matty so, so much and they're maybe a little bit (maybe a lot) codependent to the point that all their hurt is shared and fictional!Matty's mental illness never has and never will be just his own, which is somehow both wonderfully poetic and horribly tragic. (I love a good tragedy. Catharsis my beloved.)

Prada chain necklace, Prada chain necklace!! I love her! I also love gift giving as an expression of love so much, and not in a materialistic, 'I love things' kind of way, but in a 'I'm always with you' kind of way. Also, a kind of possessive way. <- who said that? Not me, I'm normal.

He has fictional!George!!! It's the answer to every 'are you ok?', every 'will you be alright?', every 'do you need anything?' He's always had fictional!George, and always will, even if he's afraid he won't. There's so much love and trust in three words and fictional!George is going to think about it forever probably. We'll see if I remember this when I write the next part.

You need me in history books?!?!?!?!? (I did want to be a historian for a long time.) Oh my god. Thank you so much is not enough!! Oh my god. Also, poor, sad fictional!George. He can't make fictional!Matty uncomfortable so he can be more comfortable, but that doesn't mean he's not heartbroken.

Fictional!Matty thinks he's irreparably broken and fictional!George doesn't know how to change his mind =( Also, still don't buy a gun. Maybe get like a sword or a cool knife. Those are way better than a gun.

Poor fictional!George is so stressed!! Does fictional!Matty want to kill himself?? He doesn't know what to do with that, not in combination with everything else. I'm so thrilled by your comments on the way I wrote this--I wanted it to feel because what the hell are you supposed to do when your partner says they want to kill themself??? Thank you!!

The mental gymnastics that fictional!Matty is doing to blame himself are honestly impressive. I cannot pay for your therapy, unfortunately. I am an unemployed student. I can (and will), however, write you more fic where maybe someone is eventually happy. The secret to putting a lot of sadness in very few words is, um, commitment? I dunno.

There is, in this fic, particular attention to the language that gets used to discuss things, and part of that is fictional!Matty blaming himself for what happened, but fictional!George's willingness to use that language is partially him not wanting to think about it. If he uses the language that fictional!Matty uses, then he frames it differently in his own head and then it doesn't hurt quite so bad.

Poor fictional!George. That could be the subtitle of the whole The Big Light series: poor fictional!George. He know fictional!Matty, he's been there through everything, seen everything, but somehow it all just gets worse all the time and he misses fictional!Matty so much and he feels awful for that, but he misses hearing seeing fictional!Matty smile or hearing him laugh. He misses fictional!Matty =(

Fictional!George really, really needs a hug (probably from fictional!Matty) and he feels so unequipped to deal with this, but he's all he's got because he can't tell anyone else what fictional!Matty has told him in confidence. And he's an adult and he's dealt with a lot when it comes to fictional!Matty, but it makes him feel so young and lost and he kind of wishes they could be sixteen again so he could do better.

He'll be happy eventually, they both will!! I have a plan, they're just going to be sad first.

Fictional!Matty is trying so hard!! He knows fictional!George better than he knows himself and he knows fictional!George won't actually talk to someone unless he suggests it, even if he has the idea without fictional!Matty saying anything. They're a little bit codependent, but it's all fine. Everything's fine.

I'm sending virtual tissues =) He's still Matty!! He is but he's not and fictional!George doesn't know how to reconcile that, but he's trying. Fictional!Adam might be right here, though, fictional!George just doesn't want him to be.

I'm actually always a little worried I about how I write the relationships beyond fictional!M+G, so I'm so happy that you found it natural--thank you so much!! Fictional!George really needed to hear that he's doing things right, thank god for fictional!Adam.

They're going to be happy eventually!! I promise. Poor fictional!Matty just has a lot of feelings and a lot of shit to deal with first.

They're so in love and fictional!Matty really thinks he's making the person he loves miserable and he hates that idea so much, so fictional!George saying it is a good reminder that the love goes both ways and that they're a team.

There's something very soft and wonderful and intimate about seeing someone when they've just gotten up. I'm also pretty sure that the mark of being really in love with someone with curls is thinking they look good when they've just rolled out of bed. My hair makes me look a little bit like some kind of deranged swamp witch when I've just woken up. If someone thought I looked good then, I'd go buy a ring.

Fictional!George thinks about fictional!Matty all the time!!! There's so much love there and I will not stop!! =)

I keep thinking about all the interviews I've seen/read with Matty where he, at the very least, seems very candid and willing to have a conversation, rather than just answer some questions, and that creates this fear he has in this series about doing press because he doesn't want to talk about it and he doesn't want the whole world to know about this and he's also generally a little bit scared of everything that's not existing at home with fictional!George. Fictional!Matty knows exactly the kinds of questions he'll get asked and he's so afraid he'll wind up in a position where he has to decline to answer questions or give half-answers that are very clearly just that or that he'll accidentally say too much. Fictional!George is just thrilled he got fictional!Matty to leave the house for something non-essential.

Fictional!George loves him so much!!!!! Fictional!Matty is his person and he's going to do everything he can to make sure he knows it.

Fictional!Matty had a reaction to that (he may have argued with his therapist about it), so he expects Fictional!George to have a reaction to it, too.

Fictional!George is so good for him!!! Fictional!George treats him so well and cares for him so deeply that of course he's good for fictional!Matty. How could he not be????

'My Matty'!!!!!!!!!!!!! I, too, feel insane about this. You always say the best things about this series and I can tell you're super normal about it. The normal-est.

There's so much love, even when everything is so sad!! They're trying so hard and they love each other so much!!

There's a line in The Song of Achilles, which is kind of a meh book, about knowing the person you love no matter what that I thought about in writing this in that fictional!George knows fictional!Matty no matter what. He knows fictional!Matty in every mood, every circumstance, no matter what because he loves him. There's a bit in Eurydice that I thought about too, about remembering that you love someone simply because you do. You're right, they are two halves of something bigger than themselves because they love each other and always will.

Fictional!Matty loves it!! He loves the necklace, but more than that, he loves what it represents, that fictional!George loves him and wants him and cares enough to give him a gift and also that fictional!George is almost laying a claim to him.

There's something ridiculously intimate about putting on someone else's necklace that makes me a little bit insane and also fictional!George so wanted to see fictional!Matty wear it for super normal reasons.

Thank you so, so much for the ask and the compliments!!!!! 💚💚💚 I will be thinking about this forever and ever. I have three more fics planned for this series and then it'll be done (unless someone convinces me to write more) and then I'll start the Unsent Project fic. 💚💚

#asks #betweenthings talks #the big light 3

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aphrodite1288 · 1 year ago

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im sorry but saying ksoo never said Ji about his premature enlistment is the most ridiculous thing you've ever said. I mean that's something he didn't decide a week before his enlistment it might be imposible for Ji not knowing that. If that's true which I think it's not the case I directly broke up with him like that's not a decision you make alone if u are in a long term relationship

First of all guys whom are Non-Kaisooists, I saw Kadi kissing and going on Vacations in Spain, Hungary, Hawaii, L.A, Philippines and Jeju, and in Sapporo and Osaka, you will not affect me or change my mind with your asks. So spear yourself the effort and don't come here if our blog irritates you! What you believe keep it for yourself no need to come convince us what you believe. Do I make you this Angry that you had to come anonymously send such dumb questions?

So back to the main topic:

If you were a real EXOL you would know EXO said Ksoo came to them without any notice and said I'm going to be enlisted in 2 months and it was in April and they clearly said they were shocked all of them when he announced that he applied for the Military and signed all the paperwork and done some of the medical checkups.

And Honey, I didn't say it ! It's the People who know better than me and you said.

The members also said he told them nonchalantly as if it wasn't a big deal. He didn't even discuss it with the company to reschedule any future projects because simply he has had enough of SM and he sabotaged them his own way. And the members said they were all so supportive.

And Ji was there with them and after Ksoo's enlistment Ji went absent for two months straight no bubble messages no Instagram lives nothing he went disappearing. under the excuse that he forgot his password. After that he was so depressed and sad and shortly before SuperM's debut he came on RadioStar show and revealed he suffered from Depression the past few months which explains his absence , he also said he is seeking medical help with a therapist!

And I still remember the MC shamelessly and Rudely asked Suho if he knew about this and him and the members were all so taken aback and they showed sad expression and that Stupid MC again shamelessly told Suho : "Did you know about your member was mentally exhausted and depressed? You Should be more attentive to your members'mental health!!" and Suho was so embarrassed and hurt that he apologized to Jongin and told him " I'll pay more attention to you and the members from now on and always come to Hyung whenever you feel like you need to talk, don't hide it". Because Ji clearly said he didn't tell any member that he was in deep depression or that he was regularly seeing a Therapist.

And it was a very critical Kadi period that he went for hiatus for two months and even earlier that year in 2019 after jenkai, Ksoo fought with SM and was reported to have left the company remember March 13th 2019?? (if you were in this blog since 2019 they talked a lot about this and explained everything regarding how Jenkai is related to Ksoo's case with SM and how it affaceted Kadi and Ji). Ksoo went missing since Jenkai exactly since January 5th when he was seen in Blue dragon awards show or whatever I don't remember the name, until his enlistment day July 1st, he was ABSENT. AKsoo took a long vacation refusing to be on any Schedule and refused to film Underdogs2 and refused all Acting projects and even refused to be on any Exo schedule as he was in a major mental health crisis and he even filed a lawsuit saying he was being overworked for 7 years with 0 off days unlike the other members, it was his first vacation since he debuted and SM only gave him 7 days vacation in 7 years and he talked about it in The 100Days Husband Press Conference and Booklet ,it's one of the main reasons he wanted to leave which is why the rumor dropped in March 2019, it was reported that he wanted all the accumulated Vacations since 2012 SM wanted to rob from him! Which is why he went missing for 6 months and we saw him going to Japan 3 times with Chanyeol in February remember? Also Baekhyun said he met Ksoo accidentally in Japan and they had a meal together. At that time Ji went to Philippines with his friends. This time Kadi were on a break from each other. And Ji didn't speak to Ksoo and there were no sightings of the both of them together anywhere and Ksoo didn't stay with Ji at all and they weren't even on talking terms.

Every couple have downfalls like this it's normal. We all almost broke up or even broken up with our partners at one point of our lives. Especially if you're in over a decade relationship of almost 14 years.

Anyway the story is too long. I can explain it all if you DM me instead of Hiding like this.

#Kaisoo break #Kaisoo Break Up?

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anonymousewrites · 1 year ago

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Adolescent Antichrist (Book 4) Chapter Four

Father Figure! Lucifer x Teen! Reader

Chapter Four: Someone has to Make Sure You don’t do Anything Stupid

Summary: Lucifer and Chloe struggle with the newest development in their friendship, (Y/N) and Em bond, and Kinley plots.

Lucifer calmly played piano until his phone dinged. He smiled as he read the message from Chloe asking for a make-up date. The elevator pinged and opened. He grinned and turned, expecting Chloe to be making a surprise visit for a date at that moment. Lucifer’s smile faltered as a priest stepped into the Penthouse.

“Who are you?” asked Lucifer.

“I’m Father Kinley,” said the priest. “I’m here because…there’s something you need to know about Chloe Decker.”

Lucifer sighed, got up, and poured himself a drink. “Forgive me, Father, for not offering you a drink. I have an aversion to the cloth. Daddy issues. Long story.”

“I understand,” said Kinley. “And I do apologize for the intrusion, Mr. Morningstar. Please ju—Allow me to explain myself.”

“Excellent course of action,” said Lucifer.

“You see, I’m not a normal priest,” said Kinley, beginning his tale to manipulate Lucifer.

“Was there ever such a thing?” chuckled Lucifer.

“I mean, I’m not a normal priest in the sense that I don’t have my own congregation,” said Kinley. “I am, uh—I’m an investigator for the Vatican.” He handed a business card to Lucifer.

“Vatican Investigator?” questioned Lucifer. “Sounds like a soon-to-be-canceled TV show.”

“Oh, I assure you, it’s a very real job,” said Kinley. And that is why I’m here. To stop you and the Antichrist from bringing the apocalypse. “I’ve spent the last forty years traveling the globe in pursuit of the demonic. I know the divine is real. And I also know that evil walks the Earth. And that you, Mr. Morningstar—”

“Oh, brother, here we go,” sighed Lucifer.

“—are not it,” finished Kinley, lying about his knowledge of Lucifer’s identity.

“Not quite what I was expecting,” said Lucifer.

No, because you can be handled simply by being sent back to Hell. The Antichrist is the greater evil, thought Kinley.

“So, if I’m not the Devil, then why are you here?” asked Lucifer. “And what does any of this have to do with the Detective?”

“Oh, because Ms. Decker believes that you are,” said Kinley.

“I see,” said Lucifer.

“About a month ago, she came to Rome with a most outlandish tale,” continued Kinley, spinning the truth into a tale to break Lucifer and Chloe apart. “The Devil himself is hiding in plain sight, masquerading as a nightclub owner in Los Angeles. And that he’d revealed himself to her.”

Lucifer chuckled. “Well, this is wonderful news.”

“Wonderful? How so?” said Kinley.

“Well, as my therapist or kid would say: talking about your issues was the first step in dealing with them,” said Lucifer. “So if the Detective did have issues with me, well, it sounds like they’ve been dealt with. She talked with a priest and (Y/N). Now, if that’s everything, Father, you can be on your merry way.”

“I just felt that it was my duty to warn you,” said Kinley. “Because the reason she came to Rome was to, well, ‘send the Devil back to Hell.’ ”

Lucifer chuckled. “The Detective would never do that.”

“Chloe is a good person with a good heart,” said Kinley.

“Finally, something we can agree on,” said Lucifer.

“But whatever she went through, whatever drove her to Rome, it shook her to her very core,” said Kinley gravely. “She is the reason that I’m here. You need to be careful, Mr. Morningstar. God knows what she has planned for you.” He patted Lucifer’s shoulder as Lucifer stared at him and walked to the elevator.

The doors opened before he arrived, and (Y/N) walked out holding a bag of fabric they bought. Kinley paused and watched (Y/N) give him a questioningly glance.

The Antichrist…

(Y/N)’s eyes narrowed. Something was off about him. Something in his eyes spelled anger. But Kinley turned away, and the doors of the elevator closed before (Y/N) could see anything else.

“Who was that?” asked (Y/N).

“Father Kinley, a ‘Vatican Investigator,’ ” said Lucifer absently.

“Why was he here?” said (Y/N).

“He says the Detective came to Rome looking for a way to send me back to Hell,” said Lucifer.

(Y/N) crossed their arms. “You don’t believe that shit, do you?”

“She was quite disturbed in the beginning…” said Lucifer. “And why would a priest lie?”

(Y/N) rolled their eyes. “Priests are human. Humans lie. But even if he’s telling the truth, it could’ve been just a passing thought on Decker’s part. She was shocked by your identity. It was a lot for her, and maybe she had a passing thought when speaking to a priest in Rome that it would be better to have the Devil in hell.” They smiled at Lucifer. “Decker wouldn’t hurt you. If she ever thought to, it was a random thought that was probably pretty quickly ignored. People say a lot of stuff when they’re scared and confused. Just ignore it.”

Lucifer looked at (Y/N) softly before smiling. “Perhaps. When did you get so wise?”

(Y/N) grinned. “Someone has to make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

“Me? Stupid? Nonsense,” said Lucifer with a grin.

(Y/N) rolled their eyes with a smile. “Yeah, sure, Dad.” They moved to leave the room, and Lucifer stopped them.

“Thank you for the advice,” he said honestly. He squeezed their shoulder affectionately.

(Y/N) smiled. “You’re welcome.”

(Y/N) looked up from their math homework as Em came into the library with an annoyed scowl.

“If I hear Maze talk to me about the best way to teach a baby to fight one more time, I’m going to send her right back to Hell,” grumbled Em, sitting down.

“She’s really concerned about Linda and her pregnancy,” observed (Y/N). “It’s…sweet for Maze.”

“Sweet? Try annoying to all Hell,” said Em. “I’m the one she runs every possible emergency scenario by. She learned what documentaries are and keeps telling me in detail what can go wrong in birth and the pain of it.”

“Can’t blame her for being a little worried. Or Linda, actually,” said (Y/N). “I mean, it’s Amenadiel’s baby, too, which is weird enough on its own, but it’s a Celestial baby. I’d be freaked out if I was having a not-human baby.”

“I wonder if there’ll be another birdie flying around,” said Em curiously.

“A flying baby? Shit, Linda shouldn’t just be worried, she should be terrified,” said (Y/N).

Em laughed and grinned, leaning on their hand and elbow. She gazed intensely at (Y/N). “Come on, you didn’t turn out that bad.”

(Y/N) turned a little pink. That was happening more and more around Em. Weird. “Shut up.”

Em just grinned wider. “Whatever you say, Birdie. Just saying, you’re pretty cool.”

“…I’m waiting for the punchline,” said (Y/N), eying Em with playful suspicion.

“No punchline. I can’t even say you’re cool for a human since you’re not one,” said Em, shrugging. She smirked.

Here it comes.

“But I can say you’re pretty cool when you’re not being moody,” teased Em.

“I’m always moody,” said (Y/N).

“Then I guess you’re actually not cool!” said Em.

“Go back to Hell,” said (Y/N) pointedly.

Em grinned wider. They liked (Y/N)’s face when they got annoyed. It was cute. Plus, it wasn’t as if she couldn’t see the slight smile of amusement. That was cute too. (Y/N) was cute.

“Mr. Morninstar, thank you for reaching out,” said Kinley, walking up to Lucifer. “Are you okay? Did Detective Decker…Did she do something?”

“No,” said Lucifer. “And she never will.” He smiled. “I’m just here to tell you that you’re wrong about the Detective. If she’s planning anything, it’s an apology. My kid was right. Whatever she said to you, it was just the panic of her thoughts, nothing more.”

“I certainly hope that’s the case,” said Kinley.

“Oh, ye of little faith, Father,” said Lucifer.

“Have you noticed her carrying a vial?” remarked Kinley “innocently.”

“A what?” said Lucifer.

“A vial,” repeated Kinley. “It’s, uh, an ornate thing. It’s about the size of a plum. I got word from a colleague of mine in Rome that she’d met with a priest who was hellbent on banishing the Devil from Earth.”

“And you all get paid to do this?” said Lucifer incredulously. “I’m genuinely asking.” He tried to walk away, but Kinley followed.

“Supposedly, this priest has uncovered a ceremony that would—and-and bear with me—trap the Devil in Hell for all eternity,” said Kinley. “He’s shared the details of this ceremony with Chloe.”

Lucifer chuckled. “A ceremony to banish the Devil to Hell? That is priceless. No, but seriously, you all need to take End of Days out of the Vatican movie night rotation. Definitely not one of Arnold’s best.”

“I know. I know it sounds crazy,” said Kinley. “But Chloe was very distressed the last time I saw her. Apparently, the ceremony involves giving the subject a sacramental liquid that would sedate the Devil.”

“Ooh. Let me guess, it’s inside the plum vial,” said Lucifer.

“So I’m told,” said Kinley. “And if it would sedate the Devil, I feat that it involves some poison, something that would kill a normal man.”

“You’re incorrigible, aren’t you?” chuckled Lucifer, not taking Kinley seriously.

“Do you honestly think that I would travel thousands of miles, tell you these outlandish tales, if I didn’t take them seriously?” said Kinley. He took them so seriously he was prepared to remove Lucifer and eliminate (Y/N). “I hope beyond hope that I’m wrong. But if there is any chance that Chloe could try something, you need to be careful.”

“Well, consider me warned,” said Lucifer, annoyed with how Kinley kept going on and on. “You may absolve yourself of any further responsibility in this matter. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have plans.” Lucifer patted Kinley’s shoulder and walked past the priest and out the church.

Kinley firmly brushed Lucifer’s touch off as a fellow priest appeared beside them.

“Is that the man?” said the priest, Bishop Hoffman.

“Not a man, Your Excellency,” said Kinley. “The prophecy is real. And now that the trap is set, everything will come together soon. I even saw the Antichrist.”

“The Antichrist…It must be quite formidable,” said Hoffman.

“Yes,” said Kinley. He wouldn’t tell Hoffman the age of the Antichrist. No, the Bishop might see the need to be merciful. Kinley was the only one who understood the need to remove them. The Antichrist was an evil being that would bring ruin to Earth, teenager or not. Kinley would eliminate that evil.

Taglist:

@sammyscreencaps-13

@grippleback-galaxy-galaxy

@scarlettqueen190

@ziro-the-null-god

@sammy-13

@zeros-rot

@ceridwyn3

@technikerin23

@poetoflawed

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