#now that wasn’t entirely their fault as times were tough and they couldn’t support him as well as they hoped to and theyd be somehow both

[appallinnballin]

the world needs to know. How tall is adult ruv compared to viliskova/both of them

about yay high

[ninapi]

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Save me (Oikawa Version)

Premise: After a turbulent relationship and over a year of therapy, Oikawa gets a chance to redeem himself.

Word count: 4896

Note: This isn’t an entire route, it’s just an alternate ending to Semi’s route, meaning you would need to read his route first to understand what’s going on (link here). So, this is a second version of chapter 6, basically. You choose who you want to end up with~ 🫣

Bonus Chapter: Alternate Good Ending

Oikawa Tōru was a complex human being.

He’s had many girls throughout his life, but only one actually meant something to him.

Being his first official girlfriend, all those years of young love and exploration of one-self dug deep into his own essence.

His journey was not an easy one, he had to deal with problems some of us don’t get to face until adulthood, from a very young age. Had feelings nobody should have. Awful, awful thoughts. His way of coping wasn’t the best and he ended up hurting that one person he held dear, the only one who truly needed his protection and love, the one who saw past all his charm and accepted him even with his many flaws. He ended up losing the only woman he had ever truly loved in his life.

And it was all his fault.

Back when he was in middle school and you two had been dating for a while, he was confident that he was in love with you, he couldn’t differentiate between true love and obsession. No one can blame him for that though, he was still young and inexperienced. He didn’t know better.

But when he realized he was indeed in love with you, very much so, you were already someone else’s girl.

Iwaizumi thought him realizing that would finally put an end to the vicious cycle he had with you, but it was the opposite.

Understanding his past was tough. He knew you were special to him and that’s why he felt threatened, he didn’t want to lose you the way he lost his shiny spot in the volleyball team, those two were the most precious to him at the time and he had already lost one to the same person. He was jealous, scared, he felt pathetic and developed and inferiority complex. He wanted to be seen as the best just as he was before, he was still handsome, still popular, still had his girl, so why did he feel so angry all the time back then?

Took years of loneliness and therapy to realize what he really needed.

He needed to work on himself, he needed to accept there will always be someone better. Understand that nothing lasts forever, and he can’t take people for granted. He needed to work hard if he ever wanted to completely get rid of all those ill feelings and insecurities.

But he wasn’t alone.

He had a loyal best friend who never left his side, no matter how often he said he hated his guts, he was always there for him whenever he needed him to be. Always there to support him silently, always there to slap him on the face with the ugly truth and embrace his weeping defeated self. He was blessed with a true friend, those aren’t easy to find, and he felt grateful for his existence, even if Iwaizumi didn’t appreciate the amount of affection he received back in appreciation.

 But most importantly, he had you.

You were the reason he went to therapy to begin with. Without you pushing for his well-being, he would still be his old self, and nobody wishes to ever see that guy again, not even him.

Even if you had a boyfriend of your own, you never missed one of his therapy sessions. Once, he even had to carry you on his back all the way to your school since you had a very high fever but still decided he needed you there and stayed till the very end.

You never put yourself first, he wouldn’t exactly say that is a virtue, it causes great pain to you and those around you, but he was grateful for it. Thanks to your selflessness, he was who he was now. You helped him get his shit together more than once. You helped him grow; you helped him heal.

That’s when he fell for you for real.

That’s when he finally understood what love truly was.

It was hard for him to accept you weren’t his to take any longer. If he was being honest, he still wanted you by his side. Those moments you would hold his hand during a particularly hard session, those moments you would end up crying just because he was and you just couldn’t hold back your own tears, those moments you answered your phone no matter how late it was just because he was feeling lonely and wanted to hear your voice, those were the hardest. He knew he was at fault, but reality was awful especially when you can’t run away from it anymore.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

When he was deemed ready to end up his therapy sessions, he decided he wanted to travel the world, follow his hero and try to regain his life back, let his dreams become a reality.

He still wanted to go into professional volleyball, but even if he wasn’t escaping reality anymore, he was still running away.

He didn’t want to be constantly reminded of his past, he wanted to embrace his new self and follow his lost dream, heading to Argentina.

Iwaizumi and him still talk basically every day and you, well he still called you constantly. More messages than anything else, it was still hard on him to hear your voice or see your face, even after all these years, after all the women in his life, he still feels sad every time he thinks of you, of the future he could have had.

One night, after the longest practice ever, he called Iwaizumi, he was excited because he would be flying back to Japan with his team in just a few hours, finally the time to kick Kageyama and Ushijima on the face once and for all. But he wasn’t expecting to hear this when he dialed, “Shittykawa, is it because of (Y/N)? Is that why you’re coming back?” he was honestly confused, didn’t he know his team was playing against his own back home? “What do you mean, Iwa-chan? Did something happen to her?” the long sigh that left Iwaizumi’s lips was making him anxious, he screwed up, might as well just tell him, “Didn’t you hear she broke up with the Shiratorizawa setter? I thought that’s why you were so eager to come back.”

You what? Why haven’t you said anything? Is this why you were in a bad mood the other day? “What happened?” he was now sitting on the floor, biting one of his fingernails off, “Ugh, not sure. She just said they drifted apart. She wasn’t sad or anything. I guess it just happens when you are with someone for such a long time, especially since they were together since high school. We are all different people than we were before, it’s normal that interests change over time.”

It was probably normal, yes. But not for him. He was still in deep for you and just the thought of you not being bound to anyone anymore opened a window of hope in his heart that had been closed for the longest of times.

“I see. Well let’s go out the three of us when I get back. We can go get some beers or something. Cheer her up.” he was trying to sound composed even if his brain was going a thousand miles per hour. He needed to pack fancy outfits, maybe even get a haircut. He wanted to impress you, he should go shopping for souvenirs as early as possible before his flight. You would look the cutest with one of those “I ♡ Argentina” touristy shirts.

“You still there?” Oikawa lost track of time and didn’t realize his friend had stopped talking completely by then, knowing his friend wasn’t listening. “Yeah, sorry, got distracted. What did you say?”

“Just that I’ll text (Y/N), I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you, it’s been long since the three of us were together in the same room.” it was definitely better to let him do it, you never say no to him. “Yeah, please do. I’ll take you some of that expensive liquor you liked the last time.” not like he needed a bribe. Truth is, it hasn’t been long since his girlfriend left him for some other Olympic player, his stoic personality and work addiction wouldn’t let him keep a girl for long; he also craved a night out with his friends, people he knows care for him deeply and not for his achievements in the industry, “I’d like that, yeah. I’ll see you after the game then. I’d wish you luck, but you’re playing against my boys.” after some more bickering and a couple of good laughs, Oikawa packed an extra suitcase full of stuff, ready to embark on a journey he never expected he would be in again.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

“You’ve gotten better, Tōru.” the sound of your voice coming from behind, made his world spin. He knew you were there; he saw you on the bleachers. Thankfully you weren’t holding any sign, his heart wouldn’t be able to take it if he saw you with an Ushijima banner, or worse, a Kageyama one.

“(Y/N)….” he gave you the softest smile you’ve ever seen in his face, quickly gathering you in his arms, “I’ve missed you so much. How have you been?” the softness of your body pressing against his made his senses go wild, this was the first time he’s seen you as an adult in real life, have your curves fit perfectly against his heavy muscle, it was turning his insides into mush.

“Could be better. But seeing you and Iwaizumi-san is brightening my mood.” he smiled against your hair, giving you a gentle squeeze before letting you go. “It better be! Just wait until you see the suitcase full of stuff I brought for you.” chuckling you waved him off and he went into the locker room to get himself cleaned up and ready for your outing.

Iwaizumi had his car already waiting for him at the entrance of the gym and you were chilling on the backseat. He jumped in beside you, leaving Iwaizumi alone at the front, “Do you think I’m a taxi or something? Get your ass here right now.” you pushed him playfully, angry Iwaizumi was always your favorite, “Go Tōru. I’ll be fine.” but his pouty self was all over you, whining about how he hasn’t seen you in so, so long and he needed to recharge his (Y/N) battery which was pretty low by now.

“I fucking hate your soul.” He could say all he wanted, but he was happy to have his friend back, it’s been a long time since he heard both of your happy bickering, it made his chest feel warm and fuzzy thinking of days when life was simpler and full of emotions.

Iwaizumi chose a private high-end Izakaya for their outing, he wanted to let his heart drown in expensive alcohol while chatting with his childhood friends. You weren’t the biggest drinker there was but agreed on having a glass of wine with them for the sake of old times.

“He just wanna get you drunk, (Y/N). Men are wolves, never forget that.” you’ve never seen someone’s face get this red, could even rival tomato skin. “Iwaizumi-san, you’re the one that's drunk. How are we going to get you home? You’re the one driving and I don’t even know where you live now.” your cheeks where slightly pink too, not used to the alcohol in your blood stream, your breath was a bit ragged as well and it was becoming hard to even breathe for the man sitting beside you. He couldn’t let this evening to end this way. He needed more of you.

“Give me your keys, Iwa-chan. Let’s all stay in my hotel room tonight.” the idea got you chocking on your wine, “I’m fine, Tōru. I can take a taxi home; you take care of Iwaizumi-san.” Bending over the table, you pat Iwaizumi’s jacket looking for the keys of his car, giving Oikawa a view to remember. He’s never been anywhere near intimate with you, the closest you got to anything steamy were forceful kisses, nothing to be proud of, but damn, life has been good to you.

“Nonsense. I won’t be here for long; I want to spend more time with you. Besides, I gotta give you all the stuff I brought for you! C’mon, love.” petting your thigh in a tender way, he got up to take care of the bill and take you both to his fancy hotel.

Iwaizumi was heavy, to say the least.

Taking him into the car and then in the hotel was a complete mess. He threw up twice, all over his nice shirt and you ended up making him sleep in the bathtub instead of the bed, just in case.

“Wow, that’s what I call an intense night” chuckled Oikawa, plopping onto the sofa of the room, “Tell me about it, my hair smells like barf. Can I borrow one of your shirts? I would like to wash my hair off in your sink and change into something clean.” he had the brilliant idea of giving you the shirt he bought for you, he got it oversized on purpose, the thought of you sleeping in it was enough to make him lose sleep during his flight.

You laughed when you saw the shirt he ‘wholeheartedly’ got for you, going back into the bathroom and slipping out of your disgustingly dirty dress, washing your hair quickly after.

Toweling your hair dry, you went back out into the main room, as clean as someone can be in a night like that and sat beside Oikawa who was scrolling through his phone. “Wait- Did you just get yourself naked in the same bathroom Iwa-chan is in right now???? How can he see you naked before me? That makes no sense.” he was now clinging onto your arm, pouting like the spoiled baby he was. “He did not see me naked, Tōru. He is unconscious, remember?” managing to peal him off of you, you laughed at his silly behavior, is like he hasn’t changed at all, his fourteen-year-old self flooding your head with warm memories. “Having your eyes closed and being unconscious is very different, (Y/N)! What if he saw you?? I would have to kill him!” in the past, those words would have made you flee and take Iwaizumi with you, but you knew he was not a danger to any of you anymore, you trusted him now, he’s earned that trust over the years, he was just being silly as usual.

“So, are you going to kill everyone whose seen me naked? What about my doctor?” his loud gasp made you burst out laughing, he is still adorable. “Ok then let’s make a rule. From today on, nobody but me, or your doctor, can see you naked. Otherwise, I will gauge their eyes out.” he kept on pouting, crossing his arms on his chest to make a statement. He was expecting you to laugh once more, but you didn’t, “So you know, huh?” you were looking down, playing with your hands. He didn’t know how to mention it, but he wanted to know more, this was the best he could come up with. “Iwa-chan told me, yeah. Are you ok?” he reached over for one of your hands, rubbing it gently with his thumb. “Yeah, I’m ok. We just had different goals in life, you know? He had his life all planned out while I…I don’t even know what I want, I thought I did, but I noticed things weren’t what I expected them to be. I went to school and got a degree like I was supposed to, I got a good job, got promoted even…”

“But you weren’t happy?” you just nodded, laying your head on his shoulder. “How about you come with me to Argentina for a while? Traveling did wonders for me. It made me have a clear head and set up some goals. You can stay with me, don’t even need to think about money. And don’t worry, I’m not trying to take advantage of the situation here; I just think a change of scenery could do you some good. Food’s pretty delicious there too.” Were you going crazy now? That actually sounded like a lovely idea. Argentina wasn’t in your to-do list, but it was far enough for nobody to know who you were, for nobody to judge your life choices.

“Would that be ok, Tōru? Don’t you have a girl or something? I don’t want to cause you any troubles. I can figure things out on my own.” you looked up at him through your lashes and his heart skipped a few beats.

You were still his beloved princess in his eyes, you meant the world to him and he wanted you to know that. “Nope, the only girl in my life is fifty-eight-year-old Sonia that cleans my house once a week.” Hearing your laughter gave him butterflies. Is this what teenage girls feel when they have a crush? Or is this how an adult male feel when he’s in love? Not like it matters but he wondered either way.

“Alright, I guess I can take some days off. I wanted to transfer to another part of the country anyways. It’s hard finding closure when you see your ex every day.”

“It’s set then, let me get your ticket ready. I have to go back the day after tomorrow. I’ll take you to your place tomorrow morning so you can get your things ready.” you nodded in between yawns, hauling such a heavy mountain of muscle was taking a toll on your body by now, “Thank you, Tōru. I’ll transfer the money of the ticket back to you tomorrow then.” you kissed his cheek, before turning into a ball on your side of the sofa, ready to go to sleep. “Sleep in the bed, pumpkin. I’ll take the sofa.” he tickled your feet, still very much occupied booking your flight. He’s never really stopped calling you silly pet names but they were really hitting hard tonight. “You should be more tired, I’ll be fine here, I’m tinier than you.”

Once he was done with the purchase, he held you up effortlessly, taking you over to the bed and turning off the lights on his way. You thought he’d just leave you there and go back to the sofa, but he didn’t. He got in bed with you and fell asleep as quick as it all happened, minding his distance to avoid making you feel uncomfortable.

Sleep reached you just as fast and the next thing you noticed were Iwaizumi’s groans, too close for comfort and the bright light of the next morning hitting your face from a badly closed window. “Did you really have to sleep together while I was in the same room? Have some decency, please. I didn’t need to see this.” Confused, you looked around sleepily. Your head was on Oikawa’s chest, he somehow ended up shirtless during the night and was holding one of your thighs up with one of his large hands, keeping you in place and riling the shirt you were wearing way to high, giving a very descriptive view of your lacy underwear to a traumatized Iwaizumi.

You sat up straight immediately, covering yourself. “It isn’t what it looks like. We didn’t ‘sleep together’ just ‘slept together’ if that makes sense. You know what I mean! Shared the same bed, no bodily fluids involved.” his hangover was killing him and your cute blushy face and disheveled self was giving him more troubles than it should, “For fuck sakes, (Y/N), just shut up, you’re only making it worse.”

“Morning, sunshine.” mumbled Oikawa groggily, burring his face on the side of your bum, hugging you closer. “Yeah right, not what it looks like. Where are my keys?” you pointed over to the nightstand, hiding your face with your hair in shame.

“Tell shittykawa I’m taking my booze. See you around, (Y/N).” you called after him, wanting his approval for what was coming next, you always valued his opinion after all. “Iwaizumi-san…. Tōru got me a plane ticket to go with him to Argentina for a few days to clear my head. Am I doing the right thing? Do you think this could trigger him back in any way? If you tell me I shouldn’t do this, I won’t.”

Oikawa was very much awake, bawling his hands onto your shirt, “You are a grown woman, (Y/N). Do what your heart tells you to. I know you won’t use him as a bounce back, you would never do that to anyone. I trust you; I know you’ve always had his best interest at heart. It’s time you do what you want to do for a change. You don’t need my permission, or Semi’s. But know you’ll always have me for whatever you might need.” Having his full support made your heart feel full, he’s always had your back even when things were really bad, hearing him say this was all you needed to feel at ease. “Thank you, hope you know I’m always here for you too, so is Tōru. I know something’s bothering you, we’ll always be here if you need to talk, just let us know when you’re ready to do so.” the soft look on your face gave him a pretty good idea of why Oikawa would just not get over you, no matter what, you were really something, “I know, I’ll be fine. Worry about you some more, will you.” grumbling, he left you behind on his way back to his own place, in deep need of a shower and some aspirin.

“I know you’re awake, Tōru.” you threaded your fingers through his short hair, his face still very much pressed to the bare skin of your thigh, “You know I would never hurt you again, right?” his mumbling brought back memories, he was still a bit unsure of his own self, still very ashamed of what he did in the past and how he hurt you, he knows you said you forgave him but would his presence still bother you? He wanted to erase all those bad memories from your head and replace them with the good ones you shared back then.

“Of course, I know. I also know you didn’t do it on purpose. C’mere.” you laid back down, bringing him to rest on your chest, soothing his ill feelings. “I just want you to be comfortable around me, I won’t lay a hand on you or tell you nasty stuff ever again. You’re the most precious being in my eyes, just wanted you to know that.” his face was now buried on the crook of your neck, holding you as close as it was humanly possible. “Well, I see two of your hands on me right now, mister.” you tried lightening up the mood, this was a good thing, for both of you. “You know what I mean, (Y/N)…” he whined, clinging onto you for dear life, “I know, I was joking. I’m not scared of you, Tōru. I trust you, I know you won’t hurt me again. You worked so hard to get where you are right now, I know you won’t go back to it.” you stayed that way in bed for an hour or so more, you thought you were soothing him, but in reality, having him cling to you, telling you sweet nothings was making you feel so much lighter, he ended up soothing you instead. Suddenly all your problems didn’t matter anymore, your discontent with your job, your lack of ambition and motivation, the break-up, everything just got out of your head and was replaced with excitement.

What would Argentina be like? You know nothing about said place, but Tōru loves it, it must be really cool and oh my god, food! You just can’t wait to try it all.

He was right, this was probably what you needed.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

“Tōru, why am I sitting in first class? I can’t possibly afford this!” you whisper-yelled over to him, taking a seat beside him and double checking your boarding pass to make sure this was in fact your seat, “We all travel in first class, the government pays for it. I can’t just let you sit on economy on your own when we are having delicious food here.” you totally forgot he was actually representing a country, he was a celebrity of some sort, it made sense he traveled in first class, “But Tōru, this is a hell of a long flight, how much did this even cost? You keep on ignoring me every time I ask for your account to transfer the money!” he shushed you with his index finger to your lips, fixing your seat onto a more comfortable position, “Just relax, ok? I put you through some hardcore stuff in life, let me spoil you a bit.” his flirty wink and smile were doing things to your heart, but his teammates were also sitting beside you, enjoying the show.

“Never seen you pay for something this expensive for a girl, Oikawa. Even beers are too expensive for you when we go clubbing. I wonder, what does it take to break the man this much?” you know you’ve seen his face, he was a member of his team, older than you if you’re not mistaken. “I, ugh. We’ve known each other for a long time. I’m (Y/N) by the way.” your shy but bashful smile made the older man blush, “She’s my ex, my best girl, the love of my life, the caramel to my macchiato.” snuggling his face onto your cheek he kept on mumbling nonsense, his eyes never leaving his teammate’s, “That serious, huh? How long were you two together? I’ve never seen you last over a month with someone, a first-class seat must cost a good number of days.”

“Ummm, almost three years, right Tōru?” he nodded, reaching over for the airline blanket to cover you from the chilly air. “Yeah, something like that. Hope you know what that means.” his smile was more like a threat, he didn’t want his teammates blabbing about his adventurous ways with other women, you were special, you meant something true to him. “Got it, I’ll just shut up now. If you need anything let me know, (Y/N) was it? I can show you around town, I know the best restaurants. Hope you booked a hotel in a good area, where are you staying?” he was genuinely trying to be of any help, but it was causing Oikawa’s bile to boil, “She’s staying with me in my house. Don’t worry, I’ll take her to all the nice places.” he was now placing the noise cancelling headphones over your ears, looking for a movie on your screen, “Is this movie good enough, love?” you just nodded, hugging his arm and getting comfy for the long ride. The familiarity of it all was causing a few gasps here and there in the cabin but thankfully, you couldn’t hear them.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Argentina was a beautiful country.

Tōru took you sightseeing every time his schedule allowed him to do so. Every day felt new and refreshing, from hiking, to foodie adventures, to beach trips, every day was filled with excitement and laughter. You didn’t know you needed vacations this bad. You’ve been overworking yourself pretty much since high school and never really had a purpose in mind. You knew you wanted to have a well-paid job, stability, a place to belong and function in society, but Miyagi’s government wasn’t what you expected it would be. Office work was boring, you even had to use fax machines, who uses fax machines these days?

Life in general was way too boring back home, Semi was always busy, either with work or with his band affairs. You were consumed with working overtime and life had lost all color to you for a while now. Semi was the one to initiate the breakup, he was feeling the same way, he had no time for a relationship and felt bad about it. Love wears out if you don’t dedicate enough time to it and that was something his life lacked of, time.

But this, this was different.

Everyone there looked so free and happy. There was so much life in the streets. You kindda didn’t want to go back, and Oikawa could read you like an open book.

His advances on you had been slow. He didn’t want to freak you out, but he was confident now that you didn’t mind him sneaking tiny kisses here and there or his arms being wrapped around you at all times.

“Baby girl, why don’t you just quit your job? Stay here for good.” you were both on his balcony, enjoying the sunrise. It was bright and early, you’ve been talking all night, sleep never hitting any of you. His arms were wrapped lazily around your waist, holding you from behind, his lips trailing your ear lightly trying to sway you, “Sounds tempting. But what would I do here, Tōru? I can’t keep living off of you, doesn’t matter how much money you have.” You’ve been seriously considering not returning, at least for a while, but you didn’t want to overstay, what if he didn’t want you there? He gets bored of things quite easily. “How about you apply to the Japan embassy here? You have experience working for the government, I bet you could transfer here.” that was a brilliant idea actually, “Would be a stuck-up job still though, but I can put in your life all the spices you may need.” his low chuckle right by your ear was driving you insane, it was hard to think properly when he just wouldn’t keep his hands to himself.

“Alright, I guess that could work.”

He turned you around in a swift move, pressing his lips on yours gently, testing the waters. When you wrapped your arms around his neck, he deepened the kiss pouring all his adoration towards you in it.

The beautiful pinkish sky was left to be the only witness to the continuation of your love story.

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Tagged babes: @dazaisfavgf, @lauraagrace

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[cheekygreenty]

Hi, I just saw your prompt list for Shadow&Bone!! could you possibly do No. 2 from Angst, but like with a happy ending? Like reader n Kirigan are togeather but then Alina's comes along.. just, please let be happy at the end. I like angst, but my heart can't handle sad endings 😢😢 thank you!!! ❤❤

Future- The Darkling x Reader

(Very very angsty with a happy (?) ending. It made me cry a lil bit writing it ngl)

You trusted him, wholeheartedly. At least that's what you told yourself every day since she came to the Little Palace; the place you had always called home, where you felt safe from the prying eyes of the public.

Yet now, the place was fueled by harsh rumors of him and her. Everywhere you went you could hear a whisper, nobody tried to hide it anymore, the words were always entirely devoted to your crumbling union;

'I thought they were happy'

We were.

'How can he and Alina not be together, it's destiny.'

I'm starting to think so too.

You didn't acknowledge it. Just put on a sweet smile and a brave face. Don't let them see you're hurting. Even in your own home, you had to pretend and lie, which at the end of the day, when you laid in an empty bed, made you exhausted.

He told you she meant nothing more to him than a mere weapon. But that was when she first came and when he still managed to make it to your shared chambers and would whisper sweet nothings as you fell asleep.

It was different now, on more than one occasion you caught a glimpse of them together, him looking at her the way he always looked at you. However much he claimed to be a good actor and manipulator, there was something there and he couldn't deny it either.

You hadn't confronted him about it yet fearing that if you did, the truth would hurt and sting and make all those rumors true. In addition, you haven't seen him in days and the last time you did, he told you to stay away from the wonderful Sun-Summoner.

The truth was you knew deep down in your heart that she wasn't at fault. That she was not the root of the problem. You constantly fought with yourself to stop any hatred you felt towards her. She was lovely, kind compassionate, and innocent. She didn't deserve to feel your wrath.

But with that came the confusion of who to blame. You or Him. It made you tired and weak. The smallest of tasks made you drained and tears would well in your eyes at the thought of having to live another day like this, a day full of questioning yourself and the man you loved more than anything in the world.

No matter how much of a strong person you swore you were, this was taking a substantial toll on you. He had become your support network and he knew it, he loved it. He always said he finally felt appreciated when you came around, that he wasn't alone anymore. He had conditioned you to be this way. When times got tough, he was always your shoulder to cry on.

No doubt that shoulder was now next to Alina. Perhaps they went on a horse ride, visited the Black Heretic fountain, or were enjoying a rendezvous next to the lake.

You didn't want to know, all that mattered was that he wasn't there with you when you were falling apart. Maybe you relied on him too much.

You wondered if he noticed the whispers too, or the way you'd been missing crucial meetings, or even if he noticed you wearing your red kefta more often, ditching the black once you'd heard Genya speak of making a golden-black kefta for Alina, per the Darkling's request.

That was a punch in the gut. It hurt more than him avoiding conversation with you or even his deterrence of touching you. He had bestowed his colors to her when not even three months ago he didn't know she existed. It had taken you a long time to gain his trust and don his signature black yet all she had to do was waltz in and show up. And it hurt.

And now here you were, training the next generation of heartrenderers, as you did almost every day. You had given your life to the Little Palace and its Grisha and this is how you were being repaid. Not even Ivan, who you had shaped into an excellent soldier, had looked your way lately.

'Excuse me Ms. Y/L/N I have an urgent request from the General' You whipped your head around to the young Grisha boy with an obviously hurt look on your face which he couldn't understand.

'Of course' you choked out and took the piece of paper from his hands and watched him in sorrow as he left.

Ms.Y/L/N? what happened to moya sovereignny? You were never one to uphold the formality, but this was just another blow to your confidence. You were no longer referred to as his other half which only meant your position in the palace was quickly dwindling.

You opened the wax-sealed envelope and took out the thick sheet of paper. There was a time when he himself would deliver the news to you himself and use it as an excuse to spend extra time with you.

'I cannot make it to the meeting with the King this evening, attend and report back to me anything relevant, no horse business'

You scoffed loudly, drawing attention from the young Corporalki around you and leaned on the table in front of you. Not even a please or thank you. With the note clutched in your hand and tears of frustration in your eyes, you stormed out of the Corporalki room and towards his war room.

You peeked through the open door and seen him. He didn't look at all busy as he chatted with Zoya, Ivan, Fedyor, and some other Squaller you didn't recognize. Zoya threw her head back in laughter at something Fedyor said but Aleksander kept his stony expression. You threw the door open dramatically and everyone froze.

'Leave us' you cautioned as Aleksander's onyx eyes looked right into your own.

Nobody moved but Zoya was the first to speak ' Y/N, we're actually in a meeting if you couldn't tell' while everyone nodded along, except him.

You never had anything against anyone in that room, but in that moment you couldn't help yourself and used your small science to bring everyone to their knees in front of you, except him.

'Leave us' His voice rang out in the midst of their sharp breaths and chest-clutching. They scrambled to their feet and left one by one, Fedyor quietly muttering 'moya sovereignny' as he passed you which filled you with some courage. The door shut and the sound echoed over the walls.

You threw the note across the room and let it hit his arm. 'Did you forget your manners General? Or does it only apply to the people you claim to love?'

'Funny you should say that Y/N, you haven't attended any meetings in weeks without providing a reason. You're making me look like a fool'

'I'M MAKING YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL?!' Your tears were now streaming down your face, falling quicker than you could wipe them away.

He stayed silent and that broke your heart even more, he could've said something, anything.

'Aleksander, I'm trying to keep myself together for everyone, I'm trying so very hard to appear normal and happy but I don't think I can do this any longer. The whispers and the rumors, watching you and her-' You slid down the door and sat on the floor, head resting on your knees. '-It's getting to me.... and it's killing me.'

You thanked the Saints you didn't see his face, for the silence spoke for itself. He didn't deny anything or reach out to comfort you. I've lost him.

'All I wanted was a happy ending.' You laughed a sad laugh that pulled at his heartstrings. With your eyes still facing away from him, you didn't see his hand go up to wipe the lone tear that fell down his face or the slight shake in his hands as he did so. He had no words that would comfort you. He knew what he'd done. He'd been avoiding you ever since he realized it. He didn't want to see you cry or see how his actions affected you.

Telling you that it means nothing to him was of no use. You had it in your mind now, forever engrained around his name, the rumors wouldn't stop and Alina was still around. He truly felt nothing of importance for her. All she meant for him was a key to a better future with you.

He approached you slowly, getting down on his knees next to you. He took your hand in his and held it up to his lips. He never prayed, but right now he silently muttered words to all the Saints. Don't let her leave.

'I'm so sorry Darling. Y/N I love you so much.'

'But you love her more' You yanked your hands away.

'NO. no. Y/N. I swear it. You are everything to me' He had grown serious now, he wanted you to look at him. He missed you.

'Then explain why you're parading her around like a Queen, letting her wear your colors, probably sleeping in her bed'

'I have never toucher her in that way. I'm yours Y/N.' Please look at me.

You lifted your head and looked at his beautiful face. He too looked tired, exhausted. His eyes were red and puffy. Saints, I've never seen him cry.

'You will have a happy ending. I promise Darling' He took your face into his hands and connected your foreheads together. 'I promise. I'm doing everything I can to make sure you will, and even if I can't, I swear you will you and our children-'

Children. Aleksander never spoke of them to the point where you had settled with the idea you'll never have them. Something about the desperation in his voice made you believe him, Aleksander was strong, he never gave up but he also never sacrificed himself for anybody. Up until now, you didn't think yourself worthy enough to be saved in exchange for him.

'-I would give up everything to see you and them safe, away from harm's way. Right now, the world doesn't deserve them, but once I do what I have to do, I'll give you children. However many you want, Just stay. Please'

You were borderline hysterical as you melted into his embrace. Weeks of frustration and hurt disappeared into thin air. Aleksander held you so tight you were having trouble breathing but you didn't care. He held you all day and all night. All meetings and tasks forgotten.

He explained everything in detail, from the stag and firebird to what happens if things don't go to plan. He kept nothing from you, not even the stress and pressure he felt. You comforted him as he always does to you. You fell asleep together and dreamed of a life with a happy ending, one where you never had to doubt his motives, you dreamed of your future.

Taglist (if you want to be added, plz tell me!)

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @lostysworld

@0-artemis

[ereawrites]

Dick Grayson x Reader - Mania

this was requested by: anon

word count: 10.5k / rating explicit

a/n: sex pollen so auto dubcon (?), but both reader and dick are affected so idk

taglist: @daddyissuesmademe @idkmanicantenglish

It's your fault, really. You should never have got involved in the first place, but the temptation was just too great to resist. How could you pass up the opportunity to investigate Poison Ivy's pollen? This was the first decent sample any of you had ever managed to get - even Bruce, though you suspect there have been a few times he's managed to get up close and personal with the pollen - and normally Tim would handle it, but he's away on business with Bruce, and Damian's too young to deal with intensive research, and Jason just can't bring himself to care. So, that left Dick, and you could've left it at that. You should have. Then again, Tim did text you to recommend that you helped Dick: actually, you would never have left your room if it hadn't been for his intervention. It's Tim's fault.

The thing is, everything was fine at first; you've, perhaps, been harbouring the slightest crush on Dick for a while now, and it's always nice to spend time with him. He's fun to be around, even if his classic charm sometimes borders on teasing flirtation, and he's got such an incredible mind. You forget that, at times - he has a bad habit of putting himself down as the 'kind one' of the family, the emotional support or the comic relief, and he forgets to let himself be brilliant, too. He doesn't realise you've noticed that. Or maybe he does, but he doesn't say anything, and you've happily spent the past two hours studying Ivy's pollen together.

"It's definitely pheromonal, but I've never seen a chemical composition like this before-", you say, eyes glued to the computer screen. Dick is leaning over the back of your chair, one hand on your shoulder and one hand on the desk beside you, and you shouldn't feel as tense as you do. "-look, this section doesn't occur naturally in any species we've seen. She's synthesising these pheromones somehow, it's not like she's injecting them, but I just - I don't get how."

He pushes off from the desk, grabs the back of your chair, and spins you to face him with a half-smile. "I hate to break your train of thought, but I think we need a biochem specialist.", he says, and you suddenly notice how tired he looks: his eyes are still vibrant, warm, but exhausted. "We've done as much as we can on this, right? No shame in calling in the big guns."

"Tim?", you reply, knowingly, relishing in the way Dick's smile grows into a full grin. He's still gripping the edges of your chair, effectively caging you in: you are not looking at his arms, and you can be certain of this because you are looking very, very intently at his face.

"Having a genius brother has its perks, I know. I'll call him now. It's late in Tokyo - he won't be in a meeting, he'll probably just be awake in his hotel room, tapping away at his laptop.", Dick says, finally moving away to fetch his phone, and his voice trails off into a mumble that he clearly doesn't mean for you to hear. "God, he worries me. He really does."

It's much too warm in here: you sigh, and shrug off your jacket, slinging it over the back of the computer chair before calling out,"You're such a mother hen sometimes, Dick."

"I care. Sue me.", he replies with a faux scowl. "You don't complain when you're ill and I bring you hot soup."

"You're a good cook, what can I say?"

"Husband material!", he chirps. You feel your stomach leap and your cheeks heat up at his words. He's only teasing, but the truth of it is, it has more effect on you than you would like to admit. Thankfully, he's quickly distracted by the crackle of Tim picking up the phone. "Timmy! How's things?"

Tim's voice is dry, as always, but with a noticeable undercurrent of frustration. "Shit. I hate it here."

"Hey, Tim. Bad day?", you say with sympathy. You feel a little bad for bothering him, now; as hard as everyone in the family works, Tim definitely pushes himself the hardest.

"I'm the youngest person here by at least twenty years, and my stomach can't handle sushi. Plus, Bruce gets separation anxiety from the rest of you. The one upside is that I've been able to practice my Japanese.", Tim replies. You feel bad for him, of course, but the image of him having to comfort a homesick Bruce has you suppressing a snicker.

Dick shoots an amused smile at you - he's too beautiful when he smiles, it isn't fair - that starkly contrasts the comforting tone he uses to respond to Tim. "Don't worry, darling brother - I've got something exciting for you! Check your emails - wait, only the most recent one, though, I sent you a link to a Red Hood fanpage-"

You interject with an accusatory wave of your finger. "Why the fuck didn't you send me that? Red Hood is sexy." If Jason were here, he would probably threaten to shoot you, but as it is, Dick's amusement only grows. His smile is so infectious, like it spirals out into the air and right into your chest, and you can't help but smile back at him. You don't know if it's the warmth of the room or simply from Dick himself, but you feel as though you're going to need to step outside for some fresh air soon.

"Because of your raging crush on Nightwing, probably." Tim cuts in, and you could fucking kill him. Dick gives you a pleased wink. "I'm looking at a pheromonal compound, right? Ivy's special formula?"

You muster as much venom into your voice as you can, without pissing Tim off so much that he leaves you to deal with this on your own. "Fuck you, Tim - and yeah. It's a newer version, though - I think she's evolving, if that makes sense? Her physiology is definitely changing." Tim gives a thoughtful hum in response to your words: you imagine it's in agreement.

Dick continues your train of thought. "We think she's working with someone else, or she's been experimenting on herself, maybe. Do you have any ideas about how she's making the new chemicals?"

"I'll need a few hours. Send me all the data over. You're right about it evolving, though - it's definitely airborne. Shit, this is actually really interesting - the molecules are more compact, smaller, so she doesn't need to rely on physical touch through her plants anymore-"

The rest of Tim's words are lost to a wave of horror. Airborne, he said - you'd doubt it if it wasn't for the similar shock that's written over Dick's face - and you have not been treating this sample as airborne. Ivy has always relied on physical, tangible contact to use her chemicals: you couldn't have known, there was no way you could've known, neither of you are experts on this kind of thing - you've fucked up.

"Airborne? How... airborne are we talking? Like, don't-sniff-the-test-tube?", Dick asks, cautiously, maintaining eye contact with you all the while. *Please, God, let it be don't-sniff-the-test-tube and nothing more than that. Please.*

"Shit, you haven't been wearing respirators - have you?". Tim sounds positively horrified. It does nothing to allay your fears, the worries that you've both been infected with Ivy's pollen; in fact, he all but confirms it. Everything is beginning to fall into place now. The tension around Dick - more so than usual, at least -, how warm you're feeling, the mental sluggishness that had you calling Tim in the first place.

You're angry at yourself, for your own stupidity - not Tim, but you're panicked, you're so unbelievably freaked out, and so you can't help but snap at the phone. "How were we meant to know, man? Ivy's never even hinted at having something of this level before!"

"You're working with chemicals, unknown chemicals, I hate-"

Dick cuts in before this can turn into a full-on confrontation. You've got no idea how he's managing to keep a level head. Perhaps the pheromones are already taking a more severe effect, or maybe it's a placebo effect, and you pray that it is, but you can already feel your heart beginning to pound against the confines of your chest. "It's just pheromones, right? We know it's not toxic, at least - Ivy's victims only take a few days to come around, at most. They're just kinda fucked up for a few days."

You admire Dick so, so much. He's right, he's always right, he always manages to keep you calm and make you feel safe: you'll just have to stay with him, and you'll be okay. If you stay here, he can comfort you, and maybe the impacts of the pollen won't even be that bad. And, if they are, well, there's no one else in the manor tonight, and Dick's so handsome and kind and strong, and maybe he'll - fuck.

Tim snickers. "Fucked, indeed. Only when Ivy's in a good mood, though. You guys better get ready for a tough night. I've heard it can get really bad, especially if you're deprived of - oh, fuck, I can't talk about this, this is too funny but it's so weird, oh my god-", and he dissolves into a fit of awkward, stunted laughter. Dick fixes you with an apologetic look, but you swear his golden cheeks are tinged with red.

"How long until it kicks in?", he asks. It's a stupid, stupid question, because you feel like you're close to dying already. You know what he means, though: when will it get bad? You've seen Ivy's victims before. They're entirely without dignity, practically begging to be touched, sobbing from the pain of it all - and you've only heard rumours about the depraved things they let Ivy do to them. What they ask her to do to them.

The huff of Tim's breath crackles through the phone. "Uh - I don't know, maybe an hour? A little less, since Bruce never opens the windows in there. Just seal the sample up, drink plenty of water, and try not to freak out. It'll pass. You won't die."

///

You thought you could do it - stay in your room, deal with this alone, avoid any potential awkwardness with Dick -but you can't. It's barely been an hour. Sixty-seven minutes since you left the cave, to be exact. Sixty-seven minutes since Dick grabbed you by the waist to halt your speedy departure, touch light but insistent, and said if you need anything, come to me. His eyes were dark when he said it. Deep, dark blue, an ocean that you could get lost swimming in; but pupils already dilating, breath already speeding up. He meant it as nothing more than a kindness. Still, though, that hasn't been enough to stop you from coming onto your fingers with the image of those eyes burned onto the backs of your eyelids.

Ivy's pollen is designed to induce lust, yes, but only for the first person you see after you're infected with it. This means two things: firstly, that you need Dick more than anything right now. Your head is pounding, your lungs feel like they're on fire - the sensation between your legs isn't aching, it's agony, and you've spent fifty-two of the past sixty-seven minutes trying, and failing, to fool your body into believing that your fingers are his. The first thing you know, is that you need him, because you saw him right after you were infected. The second thing you know - there was no one else in that room. You were the only person Dick could have seen.

So, stupidly, you seek him out. You go back down to the cave, without even taking the time to wash your hands, because that's what your body is telling you to do, and you're acting more and more on instinct. Potential awkwardness be damned. He'll fix this.

Dick's facing away from you, reclined in the computer chair: his posture seems almost relaxed, just almost, legs sprawled out and left elbow visibly sticking out from around the back of the chair, like he's got one hand close to his head. You'd assume he was still looking at the computer, if you weren't so hyperaware of everything right now, but you are, and you notice more. From what you can see of his body - it's low-blue-lit from the computer screen, enough that you can make out the muscle of his legs through his sweatpants if you squint, but it's not enough, you need to see more - he seems tense. Too tense. Normally, you'd sneak closer, but your head is practically spinning now and Dick will help you. He'll make this better. Your voice is hoarse and dry when you manage to call his name.

He immediately jolts in his seat, spinning to face you, and now that he's backlit by the computer, you can barely see more than the outline of his body. God, he looks so lean, so tall - "Are you okay?", he asks, and he sounds almost as bad as you feel. You swallow thickly before responding - and, through the fog in your head, you realise that your jacket is clutched in his left hand.

You, miraculously, manage a weak smile. "I just - I thought maybe it would, you know, be better to... be together, during this. In case - if one of us needs help, or something. I don't know.". You sound stupid. Dumb. You feel it, too, and you can't even bring yourself to care. The mere sight of him is helping: it doesn't remove the pain, or any of the physical sensations, really, but at least the panic of not being near him is being soothed.

"That's - yeah, okay. How are you feeling?", Dick replies. His voice is barely more than a whisper, but you hear it as clear as if he were right up against you. Chest pressed to your back, lips on the curve of your jaw, that voice going right through you and into the pits of your stomach.

It's wrong, to think of him like this, when all he's doing is trying to check that you're alright. He knows you aren't, but he's trying.

The best thing you can think to do is make a weak attempt at a joke. "I've got a newfound fear of Ivy." Dick even huffs out a laugh, but it's just as half-hearted as your words. "I didn't think it was going to be this bad at first, Jesus - but it keeps getting worse, and, it just-"

"-it hurts. I know.". Dick nods. As you take a step closer to him, you realise that your eyes have finally adjusted to the relative darkness of the cave, and you realise that you can see his cock straining against his sweatpants. He's hard. What's more, there's a distinct wet patch leaking through the material.

When you entered the cave, you couldn't see one of his hands; the chair wasn't moving enough for him to be stroking himself, and you're not sure whether you're glad he wasn't, but now that you think of it, there was definite movement. Like he was palming himself through his sweatpants, maybe. And the hand that was close to his head, it's clutching your jacket, he was holding your jacket close to his face while he-

"Dick - were you...?"

He sighs, halfway between embarrassed and resigned, and sinks back down into the computer chair. He keeps your jacket clenched in a white-knuckle grip. "I had to take the edge off somehow, right? I'm sorry, I didn't think you would be coming back down here, I never meant to make you uncomfortable or anything-"

"I'm not uncomfortable.", you blurt out before you know what you're saying. Dick's expression visibly shifts - you don't have the mental clarity to figure out into what, exactly - but you can feel your own eyes widen as you process  the implications of what you just said. "Oh, fuck - I didn't mean it like that, I - sorry."

Dick just shakes his head. He must mean for you not to worry. You stand in silence for a while, not exactly awkward but certainly thick with tension, before he pats a hand onto the desk beside him. "God, this is worse than I thought. Do you wanna come sit down?"

Do you? Although being closer to Dick sounds like the only thing you want in the world right now - god, you can't help but think about how good he would look, if you were close enough to really study him, now that you're beyond giving a fuck about etiquette - you're also acutely aware of how difficult it'll be to control yourself. Undeniably, you want him. You've wanted him for months, really - but the pollen has taken that desire and multiplied it tenfold, made it so that it's all-consuming and painful. In your room, nothing more than imagining him, it was bad enough. Now, now that you can see his fucking cock, now that the image of him rubbing himself with a blissed-out look on his face, it's almost impossible to control.

You move to sit next to him. You can't help yourself. Once you start moving, you feel like it's all in slow-motion: Dick's watching you, dark eyes trained so closely on your form, and you're wearing nothing more than a tight-fitting pair of leggings and a thin t-shirt. After what feels like an age - too long to be apart from him - you reach the desk, and upon clumsily perching yourself on it, you see Dick looking as though he's about to pass out.

"Fuck, did I - did I do something wrong? I'm sorry-", you say hastily, but he instantly shakes his head and trains his eyes on yours. The blue is nearly gone. It's all blown-out pupils now, so much that his eyes are nearly black.

He licks his lips as if to wet them. "-no, no, but - when you were in your room - when you were alone - did you do anything to take the edge off? Did you touch yourself?"

You could say no, if you wanted to. You could lie. He would know, but he wouldn't press it, and you could save yourself the shame. For all that Dick must be struggling just as much as you are, he's exceedingly kind, so much that no amount of fucked-up drugs could change that: he's still your Dick, underneath all of this.

"Yeah.", you admit after a heartbeat, and your stomach lurches when you see his cock twitch through the sweatpants. Still, you're embarrassed, and you feel the need to explain yourself just a little. "It felt like my skin was on fire unless I did. It still feels like that, though - like it just wasn't enough, I guess."

"I can smell it on you.", Dick says lowly. Oh, God. That's hot. That's so, unbelievably hot - especially when you see his cock twitch again - but absolutely mortifying. You're torn between wanting to jump on him, right here and now, and retreating back to your room. You compromise by burying your face in your hands, and letting out a pathetic whine to signal how fucked-up you are right now. Maybe you can calm down, now that you don't feel on the verge of a panic attack from being away from him, if you take a few deep breaths.

Naturally, Dick hardly gives you the chance. You feel his hand come to rest on your knee out of nowhere; it's a gentle touch, but you can feel him trembling, and the touch sends a bolt of electricity through you that's strong enough to make you jolt. "I want to help you. The whole point of these pheromones is to make it so that you need touch - it only hurts because we're not getting that. So, I can-", he says raspily, punctuating the pause with a reassuring squeeze to your lower thigh, "-touch you, just... platonically, if that's what you want. What you need."

His voice drops down an octave with the last sentence - you whine again, involuntarily, but you just about manage to turn the sound into words.

"Dick, you don't have to - we can just push through this, I know it'll be uncomfortable for you - I mean, I know it's not like we haven't hugged and stuff before, but this is different, I don't want you to feel forced because you feel bad for me."

Dick must lean forward, closer to you, because his palm slides further up your thigh. The pain that prickles insistently under your skin is beginning to turn into fiery heat: not unpleasant, but desperate, hot, and you're starting to feel like you're not going to be able to stop if he asks you to touch him. "I don't feel bad for you.", he insists, reaching up with his free hand to peel your hands away from your eyes. He curls his fingers around yours as he continues. "I just want to make you feel better - both of us feel better. See, it's already helping, right? Just relax. This is bad enough as it is."

His thumb starts to trace circles on the inside of your thigh. It's nowhere near high enough to be considered sexual, but the movement has your legs almost trembling. You wonder if he can feel the tension of your muscles. "It's... it doesn't hurt anymore. Thank you.". And, technically, you're not lying: it doesn't hurt, in fact it feels fucking incredible. You spent fifty-two minutes trying to replicate this sensation. He's only touching your thigh, it has no business feeling this good, but each little beat of his thumb has waves of pleasure crashing through you. God, how good would it feel to fuck him like this? You're shaking, and you know it, and it only makes him tug you by the hand to stand up.

Even the loss of his touch on your thigh feels devastating, but Dick's next words are more comfort than you could have imagined possible. "Here. Come sit, if you want.", he says - whispering again, voice so low and so deep, but it's just the effects of the pollen, you tell yourself - and gestures to his thigh. "You can lean back into me, don't worry, it'll be better for your back."

This has to feel as good for him as it does for you. Logically, it has to. You've both breathed in the same pollen, his skin has the same sheen of sweat that you can feel on your own skin, you're both trembling in every part of your body, and he's still rock hard. You can feel yourself leaking, god, enough that it might have dampened your leggings and left a wet spot on the desk. What would Dick do, if he saw that? He's clearly turned on, but maybe he still has the good sense to avoid fucking: maybe his view of you as 'just platonic' is so deeply ingrained, he would never touch you down there to feel how wet he's made you. Or, maybe he wants you like you want him.

"Are - are you sure?", you stammer. You can't stop looking at his lap. His cock, painfully obvious (and he mustn't care, because he blatantly drew your attention to it), and the corded muscle of his thighs, spread out straight to form you a perch.

"Mhmm...", he hums from somewhere deep in his chest, and suddenly you're grateful that he's still holding your hand, because the sound almost makes your knees buckle. He tugs gently. "Only if you want to be close to me, though."

He says that like an afterthought - like he knows exactly what you want, and like he's hungry for your touch and doesn't want to consider the idea that you don't want to give him it. You can't bring yourself to look at him before you move to sit in his lap, because you know he'll see the desire, and for now, you're still pretending that you don't want to push him down in that chair and ride him for hours. He'd like that, you think. He'd like it if you pulled his hair while you did it.

Dick lets go of your hand so he can take your waist in both hands, guiding you down onto his lap and gripping harder when your ass inadvertently brushes over his cock. You don't mean to do it, of course, and you jump like you've been shocked: you shuffle further down his thigh to avoid another mishap, but the movement causes your pussy to just barely drag against the hard muscle - you hardly manage to control your moan, forced to sink your teeth into your lip. Thankfully, Dick doesn't seem to notice, and he helps you lean back so his chest is pressed to your back, before lifting his arms to rest on the armrests. From here, he begins to rub soothing lines up and down your arms, and he tips his cheek down to rest against your shoulder with a relieved sigh.

"Fuck, that... yeah, that feels better.", you practically gasp. Feeling him pressed up against the entire length of your body, as torturous as it is, is the most relief you've gained all evening; his legs are shaking just enough that you can feel it in your core, though, and you're forced to tilt your head back to rest on his shoulder. You'll lose your fucking mind if you don't start to relax, he's right.

With your neck exposed, though, you can feel Dick's hot breath tickling your skin when he speaks. "Good, right? It feels good?". For the first time, you really hear the tension in his voice. So much so that you can't pass it off as your own projections, or a trick of his tone - he's just as desperate as you are, holy shit, he sounds halfway to begging, he sounds like he's dying to know that his touch is making you feel good. Your hips twitch of their own accord.

"Yeah... Dick?", you whisper after a few moments. He nods in response against your shoulder, a slow, dragging movement that feels like honey dripping through your veins from the point of contact. "Are you really warm, too, or like - is that just me? I - I feel like I'm burning up... Do you mind if I..." - you trail off, instead opting to tug cautiously at the hem of your shirt.

He sucks in a deep, rapid breath that you feel press against your back. For a moment, you worry that you've gone too far - it feels so good, but it's too weird, too strange for him even now - but then he slowly curls his fingers around the hem, replacing your own hands, and starts to pull upwards at a torturous pace. His knuckles drag over your lower abdomen for just a second and your hips twitch again, and he definitely felt it this time but he says nothing, and his breathing is warm and fast against the skin of your neck; with the shirt discarded, you're left in nothing more than a thin bra. Although the room feels warm, furnace-hot, you're all too aware of the blatant hardness of your nipples, and you tell yourself it's okay, he won't notice, because you're facing away and he won't - his palm drags against your breast on the way back down and it feels so good, too good, and you can't help but whimper, "Fuck, yes-"

Three things happen in quick succession. Dick freezes, you realise what you've done and move to jump up and run for the hills, and then Dick grabs your hips and pulls you back into him, right over his cock, this time. The friction makes both of you let out a breathy sigh, but where you clap a hand over your mouth, Dick follows it up with a hoarse proposition. "I can touch you properly, if you want. It'll make all this go away, I promise - do you want me to?", he rasps, pressing one, quick kiss to the skin where your neck meets your shoulder. "Do you want me to touch you?"

His grasp on your hips is tight, wanting, but gentle enough that you know he wouldn't stop you if you tried to leave again. When you make no move to do so - you're frozen, you can't believe he's just offered to do what your body is screaming for - Dick pulls at your hips, slowly, dragging your ass over his cock and then pushing you back down. He repeats the motion a few times, rolling his own hips up into you a little more with each motion, and soon your muscles start to work so you can grind down onto him. Dick rewards you with a quiet moan - oh, you want him to do that again, you're going to make him do that again, louder and louder - and then, with a touch so light you could cry, he traces one hand over your hipbones and down to your pussy.

One finger traces your slit through your leggings, and you hear yourself moan, but you're hardly aware of making the noise - just this simple touch feels almost as good as the orgasm you had earlier, even just this feather-light pressure through two layers of fabric, and every nerve ending in your body sets alight at once. This is what you needed, more than anything, for Dick to touch you and drag you down onto his cock, and you're so overwhelmed that every muscle in your body goes lax, leaving you to collapse into his chest.

Dick rubs gently at your pussy a few more times, like he's exploring you, and then suddenly he taps right where your clit is. You cry out, and he sighs against your neck. "God, I can feel how wet you are already. You should have told me, I would've done something sooner, you know that - fuck, you're so wet, let me - let me finger you, huh? Please?"

"Yeah - please, Dick.", you whine, and when you say his name, he moans and shoves his cock up against you again. He mumbles something into your skin that you don't quite make out, and then his hand is fumbling with your waistband, clumsily slipping into your underwear and then he's there, his fingers are brushing right against your clit, you sob out a broken cry - you're so wet that his fingers brush right through your folds, gliding like silk, and by the time he reaches your hole, two fingers easily sink in right to the knuckle.

Your pussy instantly clenches down, hard, and you feel more full than you thought could be possible. Dick moans into the skin of your neck and gives you a moment to calm down, to soothe the desperate jolting of your hips, before he starts to pump his fingers; slowly, at first, but soon picking up into a faster and more urgent pace. With each movement, he scissors his fingers a little, spreading you wider every time, and he starts to mouth at your neck with hot, wet kisses. "Do you like that, yeah? Am I making you feel good? Is this what you need?"

You fling an arm behind you to grasp at his hair, and when you tug after a particularly delicious curl of his fingers, he bites down hard onto your shoulder. "Fuck, yes, yes - please don't stop, please, Dick, don't stop-"

"I'm not going to stop, don't worry, I've got you - I'm here, I'm not gonna stop, you sound too pretty for me to stop, fuck - I knew you would sound pretty, keep making those noises for me."

Your body feels like it's going through the most intense orgasm of your life, especially now that he's given up on pumping his fingers in favour of curling them in rapid beats against your g-spot, but you know that you're not even coming yet: you're close, though, judging by the way the room is spinning around you, and the pressure building in the pit of your stomach - "I think I'm close, Dick, - oh, oh, oh my god, I don't - it's never felt like this before, I don't - fuck-"

"I know, I know, baby-", he croons, and the pet name has you tugging at his hair again, the other hand white-knuckled on the armrest, "-it's okay, it's gonna feel different - it's gonna feel better, I promise, it's going to be so good, I'm going to get you there, baby, come on."

"Fuck - fucking - Jesus, Dick, keep going, just like that-!", you all but shout, and Dick continues the massaging movement right up on your g-spot: the positioning of his hand means the heel of his palm is dragging over your clit, and your hips are frantically grinding up into his hand - god, you're gonna come, the world feels like it's crashing down around you, you feel the contractions start a few seconds before it actually hits you and it's going to be earth-shattering, you know it, every muscle in your body tenses up and through it all you hear Dick whispering, come on, that's it, I've got you, come on, come on, and then you're coming-

Distantly, you can feel his fingers continue their movements inside of you, unrelenting - and the other hand keeps a firm grip on your hips, grounding you onto his lap - but other than that, all you know is the white-flash across your vision and the pleasure slamming into each nerve in your body, one by one and then all at once: this is better than anything you've ever felt, better than every orgasm put together, and it feels feels for a moment like you're actually going to black out from the sheer intensity of the pleasure.

Then, suddenly, you're back in reality. Dick is heaving for breath against your shoulder, but it's nothing compared to the way your own lungs are screaming for air - god, you think you were screaming, given the scratching sensation in your throat - and his fingers are back to a slow, steady pumping, in and out of your swollen pussy. It hurts, a little, but this one orgasm has done nothing to sate your desperate hunger: in fact, it's only made it worse, only increased your desire for him, and you swear his cock is impossibly harder against your ass now.

"You - you're dripping onto my hand, baby, oh my god...", Dick pants, and there's a heartbeat where neither of you move - then, you feel his breath hitch, and suddenly his other hand is shoving unceremoniously under your waistband and going straight for your clit. He picks up the pace with the two fingers still inside you, matching each curl with a flick over your clit, and the motions are all so frenzied, those of a man possessed with some ravenous desire, like his one purpose is to have you writhing in his lap, and you give a wordless cry - too overcome with blinding pleasure to actually make a sound - that allows you to hear his ragged words. "Please, give me another one, one more - I want to make you squirt this time, it's going to be so good, I promise, just give me one more, pretty girl-"

This time, it's not just one wave of pleasure, spreading from your core and emanating outwards; no, it's wave after wave after wave, violently crashing over you and completely overcoming every part of your body, unrelenting and constant - this one lasts at least twice as long as the last, but you're hardly in the right state of mind to keep track of time, and every wave of pleasure that rushes through you is tenfold stronger than the last. You hear yourself shriek his name in the most pathetic, broken tone, and Dick cages you in against his body as best as he can as he keeps both hands working at your pussy, and you realise you're sobbing when he finally, finally stops.

When his fingers slip out of your pussy and exit your leggings, they're dripping wet. Dick audibly gasps, and then he brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks, moaning around the digits, and through hazy eyes you can see the most fucked-out look on his face just at the taste of your cum. He licks his fingers clean - you feel your pussy clench down again at the sight - before opening his eyes, fixing you with an intense stare, and panting, "You taste so fucking good - baby, I'm not going to be able to stop, I'm sorry, I need this, I need to fuck you - please."

He's asking permission, you realise. Neither of you are in control of what you're doing anymore, and he's still asking, as best as he can, if he's allowed to fuck you. There's a terrified look in his eyes, behind the frenzy and the lust - you clumsily crash your lips against his. He tastes of your juices, but it's one of the hottest things you've ever experienced, and he moans openly into your mouth, eagerly meeting your tongue with his own. You're exhausted, but kissing him renews your energy tenfold. You're suddenly overcome with the urge to feel his cock - inside you, yes, but you want to see it first, you want to make him cry out and moan and gasp for you - so you manoeuvre in his lap, keeping your mouth against his, to straddle his narrow hips and face him.

"Ah - ah, god, that feels amazing.", Dick moans, broken up between sloppy kisses, saliva starting to drip down both of your chins - but it's hot, so hot - as you frantically reach down to palm at him. The instant you finally touch his cock, you're gone: there's no stopping now that you can feel how achingly hard he is, now that you feel how he twitches under your hand each time you kiss him, and it takes much longer than you would like to undo the drawstring of his sweatpants, pull them down, and wrap your hand around the exposed length of him. He hisses as his whole body jerks.

Instantly, you set a frenzied pace of stroking him, relishing in each ragged moan that you rip from his throat; he's leaking into your palm, you realise, dripping over your fingers as you pull him back by the hair and attach your lips to his neck. When you suck a bruise into the softest part of his skin - the salty-sweat-tangy hollow beneath his Adam's apple - he shouts out your name, loud, followed by, "-fuck, fu- let me fuck you, baby, please, I - I'm close, you have to stop-"

"Come on my hand, Dickie.", you plead, and you're granted a thick spurt of precum when you lick a stripe up the column of his throat: he tastes so good, his skin so hot under your mouth, you can't stop, and you croon right into his ear, "It's - it's gonna last for hours, still, you're still gonna be hard - I'm still so needy for you, Dickie, look - come on my hand, let me see it, please. You can fuck me after, just come for me where I can watch it, oh - oh, please." His moans start to pick up in volume and frequency, coming from a place deeper in his throat. He's close, you know.

You've started to grind onto his thigh somewhere along the way. It feels amazing, it feels even better because you know he's twitching and aching for you just inches away - once you finally drag yourself out of the crook of his neck, you see that you've left a damp streak on his sweatpants in the wake of your hips, and the steady stream of precum leaking from his cock has soaked the material higher up. "Come on, Dickie, come on, let me see you come, I wanna see it, I - I'll, fuck, I'll lick it clean after, Jesus-", you blurt out, too far gone to be horrified at the ease with which the words spill from your lips.

"Oh, baby, shit-” he cries, and then his voice dissolves into a broken jumble of incoherent mumbles and whines. His cock twitches hard in your palm, once, twice, three times against the rapid pace you maintain on him, and then Dick bucks his hips up into your hand, back arched, perfectly still and tense; he comes hard, almost whimpering, head thrown back and eyes tightly shut, looking so, so perfect as you stroke him through it and grind feverishly onto his thigh. It's the image of his cock that has the breath snatched from your chest, though. Several thick ropes of cum spurt from him as you work him through it, some hitting the skin of your abdomen and some dripping down the length, and it just keeps going, no sign of stopping until Dick completely collapses, after almost a minute of moaning and coming - your hand is drenched with him.

The sight of his cum dripping from your palm makes something in your stomach clench hard, painfully, and suddenly you need to taste him, you have to, it hurts so much and it'll go away as soon as you get your mouth on him. You scramble off the chair, almost falling to your knees in front of him - he rushes to steady you, even with weak and shaky arms - but you don't care about how graceful you look right now. As soon as you manage to nestle yourself between thighs, you lick flat up the underside of his cock. The taste of it makes your eyes roll back in your head. Dick spits, "Holy shit!", and it trails off into a deep gasp as you wrap your lips around him and sink down as far as you can go. You'd take your time, usually, but everything in your body is screaming for you to taste him, let him fill you, and you're in no position for argument.

With each dip of your head - punctuated with a moan from the man above you, each one becoming closer to a growl, animalistic, and you think the pollen is beginning to send your bodies into total overdrive now - you take him as deeply as you can. You're nearly gagging, but that's what you need. His hands tangle into your hair; at first, you can tell he's trying to be as gentle as he can, but that's soon overcome with a tight, guiding grip that pushes you further down onto his cock with each bob of your mouth. The burning heat under your skin is killing you now, too much to ignore, so you manage to shuffle out of your leggings and underwear and kick them away: Dick groans roughly, maybe because he can smell you more clearly now-

"Come here, pretty girl-", Dick says, sliding his hands from your hair to lift you up by the jaw. You mean to whine, perhaps beg him to let you back down, because he feels so good in your mouth - then you see the look on his face. He looks totally gone. Nothing like the Dick you know, warm and gentle and relaxed: his eyes are completely clouded over, lips parted and slick with saliva, brow furrowed with something between pain and carnal desire. You imagine you look much the same, with spit dripping from your chin, the heat you can feel burning your cheeks, and the wetness you feel running down the insides of your thighs. He meets your eyes, and there's a moment of stillness. One thumb slips from your cheek to trace over your lower lip.

Then, both of you move at once - you surge forward to kiss him again, those perfect, pink lips - you fumble with the hem of his shirt, ripping it up and over his head while barely leaving his mouth for a second - Dick's hands slide down your body to your waist. He pulls you into him as he leans forward, half-supporting your weight, and suddenly your back is against the floor and he's on top of you, kissing you hard and bruising, the chair long since kicked away and forgotten about. Every inch of freshly exposed skin feels like molten silk under your touch: you slide greedy hands over his torso as he licks into your mouth, feeling the network of ridged scars and each ridge of muscle. Thankfully, Dick grants you a few precious, savoured moments to feel his skin, while he alternates between rolling his hips against your bare pussy and kicking off his sweatpants.

It's all ungraceful and clumsy - wet kisses stolen between your movements, each of you moaning against the other's lips - and it takes much, much too long for both of you to finally shed yourself of all your clothes. Dick's hands grab greedily at your breasts as he ruts his hips against you a few times, and you can feel how your wetness spreads over his cock. Then, his hands fly down to find your knees, and he drags them to fit around his waist, pulling up until your hips are fully tilted, the stretch of your muscles verging on uncomfortable. "Oh, fuck, that's it, baby. Keep your legs there for me, won't you? Come on, wrap your legs around me - I want to get as deep as I can, it's gonna feel amazing, I promise.", Dick says, bordering on a growl now that his voice is so deep and strained, and you do as he says immediately. You need him inside of you, now; you hook your ankles behind his back, kiss him, and desperately grind your hips into his.

And then, with one deep roll of his hips, he's inside of you. One quick thrust and he's buried to the hilt, and, God, he fits inside you so perfectly: your body all but melts at the feeling of finally being filled, and you keen as you instinctively use your ankles to press his hips further into you. Dick's just large enough to stretch you out, even with how wet and ready you are, without becoming painful, and the pollen means it only takes you a short moment to adjust to his size before your body is pleading to be fucked. He's shaking and panting with restraint above you whimper, "Ho-holy fuck, Dickie, please... please move, oh my god."

"I know, baby, I know.", he says, breathlessly, voice tight with pleasure but still sympathetic. Even with him motionless inside you, it already feels so good, better than anyone you've ever fucked, and you can hardly stop yourself from grabbing him by the shoulders, pushing him down, and riding him. "It just feels so good, you feel so good - I don't want to rush it, I want to make it last. Jesus, my body feels like it's on fire while I'm touching you, I - oh, fuck, I want to take it slow, make you feel so good you cry-"

"-We have all night to be slow, Dick, you can do whatever you want to me, just fuck me-"

Dick's hips roll into yours and a drawled curse falls from his parted lips. He pulls out, almost completely, enough that you panic and squeeze him tighter with your thighs, but then he pushes back into you, slowly, letting you savour the way each nerve ending inside your pussy is set ablaze; he repeats the motion, faster, his curses morphing into sweet mumbles of your name each time he bottoms out. You can hardly breathe - it feels so good, and each thrust of his hips is met with a pollen-driven roll of your own, so it's half-grinding, half-fucking - the slight curve of his cock has him dragging deliciously against your g-spot every time. His movements are picking up in intensity now, and you can tell the pollen is taking him over completely. The same is happening to you: fuck it, you don't want to think about the pollen anymore, you just want him.

"Ah, yes! Yes, right there-right- keep going-", you cry out after a particularly hard slam of his hips. Dick is propped up on one elbow, hair clinging to his forehead with sweat, and the other hand slips down to grab at your ass and pull you up into him. He's deep enough that it hurts, but it's the best pain you've ever experienced. "Fuck, faster, please!"

He obeys, mercifully, and you think you can see sweat starting to bead on his temples. "Is this what you need, pretty girl? Come on, tell me what you want - tell me I'm making you feel good, because you're making me feel so fucking good, I swear, better than I ever even imagined - fuck, you're so wet, are you going to come again? Please, please let me make you come on my cock."

The combination of his cock inside you, and his pelvis bumping against your clit, and the overwhelming sensations coursing through your body: it's all too much to bear, your body is going into total overdrive, and it's so embarrassing that he's got you like this. You never normally beg, you never normally come so fast, but this is different and addictive and incredible - you cry out an affirmation to his words, and suddenly his hand is gripping your chin. He's fully collapsed onto you now, and his movements are more frantic rutting than anything else.

"Look at me-", he pleads, using his hand to guide your face so you're staring right into those glassy eyes. "-look at me while you come, and it'll make me come."

You can feel your muscles beginning to tense up as your orgasm starts to grow. Already, your world is spinning, and you feel halfway to blacking out from the sheer intensity, so you tangle your hands into his hair as a way to ground yourself. "Please come inside me!", you whine - the idea of being filled with his cum, letting it drip out while he fucks another load into you, it's fucking mind-blowing and you can't imagine anything better than feeling him shoot into you while you come on his cock.

Dick's jaw clenches tightly. "Are - are you sure, baby? Is that what you want?"

The next thrust hits you perfectly, and you can't help but pull him tighter into you, so his head drops to the crook of your neck. "I need it, Dickie, you know - you know that - you need me too, right? Fuck, fuck - it's gonna feel so good, I'm so close-". He spends a few moments sucking a bruise into the most tender skin of your neck before moving to press his forehead to yours. Each rough movement of his hips has you jostling against the floor; your nipples are dragging against his chest every time, making you keen, and your swollen clit is being hit so perfectly by his hips, and he's making the most perfect and breathy noises against you - he looks so fucked-out, so gone, so completely absorbed in the feeling of his cock inside you, and your vision is starting to blur at the edges as the spark in your stomach finally bursts into flames-

"That's it, baby, come for me just like that.", Dick gasps, just as your orgasm rips through you. You've got no choice but to clutch at him desperately and ride out each devastating wave as a scream tears itself from your lungs: it feels like your body is tearing itself apart with each ripple of pleasure emanating from your core. Like your body is folding in on itself like a black hole does, when everything becomes too much to bear. You actually feel like you've died, you must have, this is too good and too much and too overwhelming - you hang on to Dick through it all, and your pussy clenches down so hard he can barely move inside you, and he chokes out your name before his own orgasm hits him.

You've come down just enough to process the way he looks and sounds as he comes. Your eyes are still hazy - you kept them on him, you must have - but you nearly come again at the mere sight of him. He's too far gone to even make sounds, and instead he stutters out broken breaths through wet lips, cheeks flushed and eyebrows furrowed hard, and his eyes stay fixed on you the whole time. Even as the rest of his body spasms and rocks into you uncontrollably, even as the hand on your chin slips down to your neck and squeezes, he keeps staring at you with all the lust in the world. The best part of it all, though, is how you feel his cum spilling out into you; even more than he shot onto your hand, somehow, and you realise you're crying from how relieved your body is. Fully, fully, crying, and Dick kisses away your tears as he collapses against you.

Despite how both of you are wincing at the overstimulation, neither of you ever stop moving through it all, and you keep grinding gingerly, carefully but sloppily, against each other even while you gasp for breath against each others' lips. It can't be more than ten seconds from when you come down, before you can't control the urge to whisper, "Give me another one, Dick, please. Keep fucking me." It hurts - it hurts because he's not fucking you, he's not moving enough - you need more.

Dick keeps rolling his hips against yours in shallow movements for a few seconds. His mouth is occupied with sucking more bruises into your neck, up your throat and across your jaw: he's mumbling something incoherent, slurring his words. Each fresh bruise has you gasping his name. You're going to be covered in marks after this - not just your neck, his grip on your ass and hips has been tight enough to leave bruises there, too - and you're entirely certain you've left scratch marks down his back. You nearly come again just at the thought of that; Dick, walking around for days with your marks left on him. Scratch marks under his dress shirts when he's on business, or under the tight material of his Nightwing suit, or blatantly visible through the obscenely sheer shirts he wears out clubbing. He's going to be marked as yours.

"You look so pretty like this, holy shit-", he says, pulling his head from your neck to admire his work. "You're so gorgeous - you always are, you always fucking are - but you look even better when you're mine, fuck-"

“-make me yours, then, please-"

You gasp in shock and disappointment as Dick suddenly pulls out, and his own face crumples at the loss of touch, but his palms are firm and insistent on your waist - he kisses you once, firmly, before he's manoeuvring your body like putty in his hands. You're flipped onto your stomach with another whisper of how pretty you are, and then Dick runs calloused palms down the soaked flesh of your thighs, up over your ass, over the curve of your spine and all the way up to gently, gently, press your cheek flat against the floor. He follows his hand with hot tongue, and when he reaches your ear, he murmurs, "You taste so good, pretty girl. Stay there for me. It's okay, let go. I've got you."

Uncontrollably, your ass jerks up and backwards against where his cock is pressing into you. He chuckles. He fucking laughs with his lips pressed to your cheek - maybe having came inside you has cleared his head enough that he can think straight enough to find your desperation funny - and one of his hands slides back down your body, spreading your pussy open for him to look at. You sense his body tense as he gazes at you. "...My cum is dripping out of you, oh my god."

Fuck it back into me, you think, but you're too far gone to string together a coherent sentence anymore. Your body can do the talking. You keep your cheek pressed to the floor, maybe because your muscles are too exhausted to lift your head, or maybe because it was so fucking hot how Dick pressed your head down, but you manage to meet his eyes. You plead with him as well as you can.

Dick's piercing blue eyes roll right back into his skull when he pushes into you again. From this angle, he feels even deeper than before: with one of his hands running lines up your spine, and his lips wet against the backs of your shoulders, and the steady, strong pace he sets fucking you, you're brought to the verge of tears again within minutes. You can hardly move your body to work with him in this position: he uses the weight of his body to press you into the floor, and each thrust of his hips has you moaning loud against the floor.

He brings a string of kisses and nips up your nape, so he can kiss your cheek again. It's sweet, a gentle gesture, only amplifying the pleasure that each deep snap of his hips brings. "I - I'm not hurting you, am I? I know it must be sensitive, baby, I understand if it's too much, I know - you can tell me if it's too much-"

"-no, please-", you whimper, terrified he's going to stop, "-it's so good, please, Dickie, you're exactly what I need-", and then your voice cuts out into a broken sob as one of his hand snakes between your body and the floor to find your clit. The rough pad of his finger brushes over it a few times, eliciting whimpers from you, before he settles for simply resting his finger on your clit. With each thrust, your hips are jostled against his finger just enough to send sparks of electricity shooting through your veins - every time, it feels like flames licking through each limb, and he's fucking into you so perfectly, claiming you with teeth at your neck, rasping your name against your skin - there's wetness against your cheek, like you're drooling, and you're almost certain you can feel the wetness of your pussy dripping onto his hand.

You're so swollen with desire, you can feel how tightly you're clenching down onto his cock. The mind-blowing pressure Dick's applying to your clit is only making it stronger. "You feel so good, baby. So, so, fucking good - holy shit, you're taking me so well." Then, there's a savage thrust of his hips, one that has both of you crying out in surprise and pleasure: he freezes buried to the hilt inside you. "You're going to make me come again soon, sweetie."

That means more of his cum inside you, more of his delicious moans and groans as he comes, and you say, "God, please-"

"-not yet, I want to make you come for me again. You feel so tight and hot when you do - I need it again, I want nothing more than that, please - you think you can give me another one, huh? One more for me?"

"I - I - yeah.", you stammer. You can, you know you can - your body is practically vibrating from how hard you're trembling on the edge of another orgasm - but you don't know when it's going to stop, you don't know it ever will - maybe this will go on all night, maybe he'll fuck you for hours on end and make you cry and let you lick your mess of his cock. But maybe it won't. Maybe your body will give out, or the pollen will leave his system: this will end and nothing will ever compare. You don't want to come again if it means the end of this pleasure. "...Promise you'll keep going after, Dickie."

Dick starts rubbing rapid circles on your clit with his ring and index finger, and kisses your hairline to soothe you as you sob again. "I'm only going to stop if you ask me to, baby, I promise. You feel too good to stop, I swear - I never thought you would be so fucking perfect, but now I know, I can't stop - I'm right here, I've got you, I'm going to make you come so many times you forget your name if that's what you want."

God, you're going to come again, holy shit-

He hardly gives you the chance to come back around before he's crooning, "-one more, one more for me, right on my cock like that-"

You can't even breathe. Your lungs are on fire, your vision is completely blacked out even once the second orgasm ends, your muscles and bones have turned into mush and you can't feel anything other than the sensation of flying. You're weightless, Dick is the only thing grounding you - he coaxes you down from the aftershocks with soft kisses to your cheek, and his hand tracing circles onto your aching hip, and the muscles of his abdomen are flexing with restraint against your back. "I'm gonna come, baby-", he hisses, and you manage the barest nod and then he sinks his teeth right into your shoulder as he starts pounding into you like a whore, fuck, it's sending you spiralling out of control again-

"Fuck, yes, take my cum like that, that's it, keep coming for me, holy shit-"

You're both boneless and drenched in sweat by the end of it. You're collapsed against the floor, Dick's collapsed against you, and he's still hard inside of you. You can feel his cum - it must have spilled out onto the insides of your thighs, judging by the wetness you feel there. His cock twitches inside of you with every ragged breath he takes. You're so exhausted; this is destroying your body, it's ripping you apart from the inside out, and you're terrified that if you come again it'll split you into pieces. And you want that. You twist your body, wincing against the waves of pleasure that crash over you at even the slightest movement of his cock inside you, and kiss him.

[sunlight-moonrise]

The Law of Attraction (Reid Imagine)

Summary: Reader cannot understand how Spencer is in a relationship with someone who is his complete opposite. 

A/N: Hello Everyone!!! Here’s another story from the secret-fic-swap in the Discord server. I tried my hand at a new genre and I like how it came out. A big thank you to @imagining-in-the-margins​ for helping me make this real nice for y’all (this story was also written to her). Enjoy!

Category: Hurt/Comfort

Content Warnings: If you’re a fan of Max or Maxcer, this may not be the story for you. Sacrifices needed to be made for this story to be told. 

Word Count: 4.2K

Masterlist

The thought that the concept of ‘opposites attract’ was only true when it comes to physics. After all, the comparison of people to magnets doesn’t make any sense. If two people are together, there should be some similarities to build an established relationship, right? Without that foundation, the structure will surely crumble back into the fragmented pieces that created it, leaving them cracked and weaker for it.

Compatibility is necessary, yet there is none whenever I look at them. This is the fourth function that he has brought her to, and with each event, I find it harder to look their way. But when I do find them among the crowd, I can’t look away. Like a car crash or thunderstorm ripping tree roots from the ground.

It doesn’t make sense to me, why on earth would Spencer Reid be with a girl like her.

“If you keep staring at her, she might drop dead,” said a sarcastic voice, breaking me out of my reverie. I turned to see Tara with an amused smile occupying her face.

“I just don’t get it,” I mumbled, focusing my attention on the drink in my hand.

“What’s not to get?” she asked, glancing over at the couple in question. “They seem cute together.”

“They have nothing in common. He might as well be talking to some random person in this bar.”

I chugged the remainder of my beverage with desperate hope that the alcohol will somehow make things better in this situation. It didn’t.

“You sound bitter.”

“I am not bitter,” I bit back.

“I didn’t say you were, I said you sound.”

I didn’t respond to her because deep down I knew she was right. I just fiddled with the straw in my now empty glass as Tara continued, “Look, they both like coffee and going to the park, that’s something.”

I couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped my throat at the thought.

“So do half the people on the administration floor, he might as well have a harem if those are the main qualifications.”

“So what type of person should Spencer Reid have?” she asked, an eyebrow arching up as she focused her attention on me.

“I don’t know. Someone who is family-oriented and loves kids. Someone who doesn’t judge him for his idiosyncrasies. Someone who listens to his rambles and actually responds to them. Someone who he can escape to when things get too tough. Someone who understands when to give him space but will continue to support him unconditionally. Someone who can challenge him and make each day exciting and interesting. Someone who can ke—”

“Whoa there, I didn’t think you were going to give me a whole novel.” If she thought that was a novel, then the rest of what I wanted to say would be considered an encyclopedia. The only one that Spencer would never read.  

“I just want him to be happy,” I relented.

It was the simple truth. Everyone deserves some sort of contentment in their life, but with everything that Spencer has gone through in the past, his happiness should be at the forefront. He always put others before himself. It was time that someone prioritizes his wants and needs for a change.

“And she doesn’t make him happy?”

Not in the slightest. 

But I didn’t want to say that. I was sure half of the team already thought, or knew, that I was infatuated with him. But I didn’t need to give them the satisfaction of a confirmation by talking about this any further. The looks that Tara had been giving me the past few minutes validated my belief that I didn’t need to dig myself into a deeper hole.

“Maybe,” I said, hoping to put an end to the topic.

But just then, I heard a laugh despite how noisy the place was. I knew without a doubt that was Spencer’s laugh – it was the only sound that would demand my attention that quickly. It was the one he used when he felt uncomfortable.

“Excuse me, Tara.”

I didn’t give her a chance to reply before I hopped off the barstool and made my way to where Spencer and his girl were as casually as possible. Jennifer and Penelope were also with them, and it seems as if the three ladies were doing most of the talking.

“….like kids someday?” I heard Pen say. I didn’t need to hear the beginning of the sentence to know what it was about.

“Ehh, certainly not. My nephew is a handful as is, I don’t think I need any more than that one in my life,” she laughed. She, of course, being the ever loving, ever annoying, Max. A quick glance at Spencer's face confirmed that he was bothered by the subject being discussed. If the rest of the ladies were a bit more sober, they’d probably have seen it too.

“Hey guys,” I interrupted, taking my previous seat next to JJ, “I ordered some water for us and some appetizers. Tara is going to bring it over when it is ready.”

Cheers and thank you were shouted across the small table, but there was only one face I cared to pay attention to. Spencer’s mouth was quirked in a sad smile that was meant to hide the discomfort that had already taken root in his heart like an invasive vine.

“Did you place my fries order?” Max asked, garnering my attention. As much as I wanted to ignore her, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t openly be a bitch to her, no matter how much she irked me. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Other than stealing the affections of a man I’d never actually pursued, that is. But I couldn’t really blame her for that one, right? I should’ve jumped on the opportunity before. It was my fault.

“Yup,” I answered quickly with a small fake smile before focusing on the wooden décor of the bar.

“So any plans for Halloween? Assuming we don’t get called in for a case of course,” JJ asked the table.

“There is this pop-up haunted house coming that weekend.” Spencer said, his voice laced with that childlike excitement that made my heart race, “It is near the annual fair, so I’m going to try and do both.”

“Awww, that’s a cute date idea.”

The table was silent for a moment before Max announced, “I probably won’t go. I am not a big fan of anything spooky or… horror. I’ll leave all of that to this guy.”

The table shared an awkward laugh in a poor attempt to lighten the mood.

“Anyway,” I coughed out, attempting to save this poor conversation, “you guys need to hear this terrible joke the bartender told me. So basically, this screwdriver walks into a bar….” and just like that, the topic had been changed.

Tara joined us shortly after and the conversation remained lighthearted for the remainder of the evening. We later said our farewells and readied ourselves to go back home. While I should’ve been sad to leave him, I couldn’t help but feel a bitter joy from the fact that Spencer and Max didn’t talk directly to each other for the rest of the night.

●●●

It’s been a couple of weeks since the last team outing. Rossi must’ve missed us, because he decided to host a dinner at his place to celebrate the ending of a long and tough case. No one was going to pass up the opportunity of free food and wine, especially after dealing with a bunch of cops and detectives with entire tree trunks up their asses.

I was the last to arrive, which was not surprising since I live the furthest away from Rossi. Krystall welcomed and settled me in while informing me where everyone was. What I assumed was a team gathering turned out to be a whole party. There were definitely more than two dozen people occupying the space.

Good god. 

“What’s all this?” I asked as I greeted Rossi in the, thankfully, empty kitchen. Because, of course, Rossi wouldn’t be Rossi if he didn’t take care of all the hors d'oeuvres himself.

“Krystall wanted to celebrate our anniversary,” he sighed, as if this ordeal was somehow troublesome. I had to roll my eyes; he wasn’t fooling anyone. We all knew that Rossi would move mountains for his wife.

Their love was pure and genuine, a perfect example of two people meeting again at the right time and sharing something wonderful with one another. As I reminisced on their beautiful wedding day, a thought came to my head.

“Isn’t your first anniversary coming up in a few months?”

“That’s for our second marriage, this is for the first.” Rossi simply stated with a proud smirk, as if it was standard to celebrate any and all anniversaries in life. I supposed that for him, it was.

“Why do I get the feeling that this was more your idea than Krystall’s?”

“Guilty.”

Classic. Well, I wasn’t going to tell a man what he should celebrate nor how to do so. I wasn’t going to ruin any opportunities to eat some fresh crostini.

Once I made my way back out into the main room, I was able to find my team within seconds. My eyes instantly landed on Spencer’s tall and lanky form. And I would’ve been excited for that, if it weren’t for the familiar woman standing beside him.

Max was there. Hooray.

Usually, I was able to properly prepare myself for seeing her. It actually, unfortunately, took a lot of effort to not be openly hostile to someone I dislike. It wasn’t something I was proud of, but it was true. Typically in a situation like this, I’d avoid the person all night. However, I wasn’t going to allow her presence to influence the night, much less stop me from spending time with one of my closest friends.

“Hey guys.”

“Ahh, you’re finally here,” squealed Penelope, “I already grabbed your favorite drink!” She stepped aside to make room for me in the small gathered circle before handing me the glass.

“So what did I miss?”

They all caught me up on the harmless gossip circulating around the office and the new happenings emerging in everyone’s lives. Everything was going well until I heard the next words from Max, words that felt like a bucket of ice water and lead being poured over my head.

“Well, Spencer and I are moving in together.”

Time slowed down, I was sure it had. Because I was able to gauge everything in a matter of seconds. Tara’s concerning glance my way, her hand reaching out and retreating as if to hold me. Penelope’s joyful appearance over the news, her arms rising quickly causing her wine to slightly spill on Rossi’s floor. Matt expressing congratulations as he roughly patted Spencer on the back.

And Spencer….

Spencer looked like he rather be anywhere but here. His lips were drawn in a too tight smile that I knew was far from authentic. He was tapping his heel against the floor and wringing his hands together.

If this was merry news from the two of them, why did he look like he swallowed a spiked fruit?

The loud clanging of metal against glass brought everyone’s attention to the noisy source. Time returned back to its normal pace at Rossi’s call, thanking everyone for joining in on the celebration and announcing that the food was ready in the dining room.

While everyone cheered and made their way towards the ornate display, I headed to the balcony. It was too hot, too stuffy, too loud inside the house. There was one too many people there.

As soon as I passed through the double doors, I took a deep breath of cool, refreshing air. Everything around me felt muffled. Like I had stumbled into a small pocket universe that only differed from ours by a few notches on the volume knob.

I was thinking too many things, and none of them adding up or making sense in my head. How do you move in with someone you’ve only known for such a short amount of time? What was he going to do with his apartment? With his personal belongings that were scattered and settled on crowded shelves? Why did he look so uncomfortable when she announced it? Did he not want us to know? Did he want to say it himself?

“What are you doing out here?”

As if being brought back to reality by the very same hypnotist who enchanted me in the first place, I became aware that I was not the only one on the balcony. I turned to look at Spencer, taking in his disheveled and tired appearance.

“I just needed some space. I was feeling a bit crowded.” It wasn’t a lie, but my companion and I both knew there was a lot more than just that. Trying to keep the attention off me, I asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Checking on you. I saw you come out here dressed like that and wondered what would drag you out into the freezing cold.”

Now that he mentioned it, the breeze was hitting hard. I didn’t notice my body trembling until now. It is funny how you can’t feel much when lost in your own thoughts. The pain was a welcome distraction, I supposed.

Spencer stood next to me and shrugged off the suit jacket he was wearing. I opened my mouth to refuse, but he gave me a pointed look before I could. Instead, I accepted the warm jacket over my body. The scent of cinnamon and spice immediately enveloped my form and I tried to hide the way my inhales grew deeper. Trying to keep him as close as I could for however long he would allow. He kept his hands on my arms, rubbing them up and down the sleeves of the jacket to instill some heat in me.  

“So whatever happened to taking it slow?” I asked bluntly, keeping my eyes on the interesting speck of dirt that had ended up on my shoe. I didn’t feel bad about getting to the point -- There was no way I could subtly ask him what the deal was, and I’d rather not beat around the bush.

“Well, after the whole situation that happened, sh— we decided to pick up the pace of things,” he spoke lowly, as if he was unsure of the words coming out of his mouth.

“Has she even met Diana? Or know about her?” I instantly regretted asking, the angry look he shot my way had me feeling remorseful. But it also answered my question.

Max only knew the surface level of Spencer. She wasn’t aware of all the good, bad, beautiful, and ugly layers that comes with a man like him. She wasn’t the only one to blame, but I wondered how a profiler couldn’t tell that he was hiding those parts from her because he didn’t want to share them with her. He didn’t want her to know, because the knowing made it real.

“I just want the best for you.”

His irritated expression dissolved into a defeated one as he released the breath he was holding.

“I know, I know. It’s just…”

He stopped talking, appearing scared to share his opinions and feelings with me before he remembered that, unlike Max, he never had to hide things from me. He didn’t want to.

“It’s just…” I prodded, hoping he would continue with what he was going to say.

But he just stayed stuck there, opening and closing his mouth multiple times. I could practically see the cogs in his brain whirling as he properly tried to explain. “Well, the thing is that Ma—”

“Spencer?”

We sharply turned our heads to see Max and Tara staring at us. It wasn’t until that moment that I remembered our position. With Spencer’s hands rubbing tenderness heat onto my arms, his jacket over my shoulders and our bodies pressed together to keep warm.

It would be one thing if everything was settled, but this situation was anything but. Max had every reason to be angry. This wasn’t a new thing to her. So when she turned around, she stomped away fueled by the belief that she’d nearly caught her boyfriend committing adultery. Again.

“Fuck,” I heard the man in front of me whisper as he released me back into the cold night.

Still, as he left, he looked back at me. His eyes burned into mine up until he tore them away, making his final decision and hastily running from the balcony. Away from me. Towards her.

Tara and I shared the silence, but she looked at me with those inquisitive eyes, as if I was a client seeking out therapy from her.  

“What?” I hissed, “We were just talking.” I refused to feel guilty over something that I didn’t do. If anyone had done anything, it was Spencer. But at the same time, I didn’t think he was entirely wrong, either.  

“I didn’t say anything,” she muttered, holding her hands up high as a sign of surrender.

“You didn’t have to, I can feel the judgment from here.”

“Look, I’m not judging you. But I do want you to put yourself in Max’s shoes. You guys were gone for a while and she finds you two all over each other.”

“What are you talking about, Tara? Christ, it’s not like I was fucking him on the balcony!”

Although I didn’t intend for my words to be humorous, Tara laughed. I was conflicted on whether it was at me or with me, but it ended up amounting to nothing, anyway.

“Look, the night is young and you need to relax. Come back inside, enjoy the party, and don’t let them bring you down. At least for the next few hours.”

She was right, as she usually was. It was why I usually sought her out as the voice of reason; I knew that despite everything, she would always have my best interest at heart.

“Okay,” I agreed before following her back into the chaotic fray.

I heeded her advice and avoided the couple for the remainder of the night. Shockingly, it was pretty easy, but I was sure it was because they were avoiding me too. There were times, lots of times, where Spencer and I made eye contact, but we’d just as quickly look away, as if we were ashamed of what we have done.

All we did was talk. So why did it feel like something more?

There were also times when I made eye contact with Max, but instead of shame, there was anger and contempt. If looks could kill, like Tara had suggested, I was sure my heart would have given out.

It wasn’t until later in the evening that I saw Max take a cab home while Spencer was still inside the house. No one else but me noticed that they didn’t leave the party together.

●●●

I hadn’t seen Spencer since the incident at Rossi’s a few weeks ago. He had to take his mandatory sabbatical leave and I had to take an abrupt trip back home. What used to be almost daily texts between us became nonexistent in a matter of hours. It was a terrible predicament that I was hoping to fix soon.

As I arrived, I spotted him at his desk. For a long time, I stood there staring at him. If he wasn’t nose deep in a bunch of files, I was sure he would’ve seen me, too. I contemplated on how I should go up to him, but nothing I could think of was good enough to say. 

Hey, I have your jacket, I took it to the dry cleaner’s, so it is all clean. Rid of me like you wanted to be. 

Hi, how were the lectures this time around? Still have a bunch of teens crushing on you?

What’s up, it’s been a while, do you want to get lunch during the break?

I hated that things were awkward, even though I was pretty sure that I was the only one that was making it so. I should have just gone up to him, greeted him, and acted like everything was normal, because everything was normal. Right?

Just when I was about to do so, Emily called us in for a meeting. Impeccable timing.

We had a serial killer case in Louisville, Kentucky. My situation with Spencer was going to the backburner.

During our stay in Louisville, Spencer and I barely interacted. We exchanged notes and passed long messages, but that’s pretty much it. I wasn’t surprised. Our specialties don’t really correlate when we are working on a case. Anytime I did catch some free time, I’d look his way, longing for the opportunity to speak to him. He didn’t look back.

Then, just as the case ended, another chance presented itself. After five days of hardly any proper rest, we finally found the unsub. Everyone was in their respective room catching up on some much needed sleep. Except for Spencer, whose gangly body was tucked away at the bar by himself, a glass of what appeared to be soda in front of him.

Silently, I took the seat next to him, and for a few minutes, everything was quiet. But unlike the usual, comfortable quiet, it was torturous.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

I stared at him, letting the silent communication denote the fact that I knew he was lying to me. Spencer released a sigh and looked at me with eyes more intoxicating than any whiskey that shared their color.

“Actually, no, I’m not okay.”

I was going to ask him what was wrong or if there was anything I could do to help, but before I had the chance to do so, he hastily answered the question I hadn’t asked.

“Max and I broke up.”

I stared at him, my face and mind blank as I tried to comprehend what he’d said. That Max and Spencer broke up. They were no longer together. Spencer was single.

I thought that if this ever happened, I would be happy, elated, jumping at the chance to take her place by his side. But I felt none of those things.

“What happened?” I didn’t want to appear nosy or meddlesome, but I needed to know.

“We were fighting a lot, and I couldn’t take it.”

“Oh.”

“We were… actually fighting about you.”

I sharply turned my head at him, both intrigued and disturbed by the implication that I had anything to do with the failure of their relationship.

“What? What about me?”

“She thought I liked you,” he said while staring straight back at me, daring me to scan through each fleck of gold and green to ensure that he was telling the truth. But his hazel eyes expressed nothing but honesty as he continued, “and she was right. I do.”

“Y-you do?”

All he could do was nod his head, lifting his hand and catching a loose strand of hair before tucking it behind my ear.

“Can I try something?” Spencer shyly requested.

Once again, the universe felt different. I held my breath, trying to wake from the dream. Although he didn’t say it, I had an idea of what he wanted. If the hand on the side of my face and the staring at my lips were anything to go by, I knew what was going to happen next.

I nodded back and closed my eyes. A few seconds passed, the sweetest kind of anticipation. But then I felt the gentle pressure of his lips against my own, sweet and tender. He moved his head to get a better angle while I brought my hands up to cup his face. The roughness of his stubble against the tip of my fingers was a perfect contrast to the softness of him. I could taste the soda he was drinking on his tongue and breathed in the cinnamon scent that seemed sunken into his skin.

When we pulled away, it was full of hesitation. All it took was one look for us to know we couldn’t do this. Not now, not yet. He was still healing from the recent break up and I didn’t want to be a rebound. I didn’t want us to resent one another for jumping into a relationship so soon. We weren’t ready.

We sat there in relative silence, taking in everything that has happened.

“Maybe one day,” he paused “one day we can give it a chance.”

“Yes. I’d like that.” I beamed at him, “And I look forward to that day. Until then, we remain as friends.”

He returned my smile and I realized that it had been a while since I’ve seen his real smile. I missed it so much.

“Friends,” he confirmed.

And for the first time in a long time, I felt relief and comfort. Because I knew everything was going to be okay. I had hope that someday Spencer will get the happily ever after he deserves and he’ll get it with me by his side. One day.

[kyouxa]

Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Subaru Sakamaki (Story 11)

In terms of the gameplay: The black choices lead up to a bad ending, the white choices lead up to a good ending. Please no reposting onto other sites, ask me before translating this into another language too! If you enjoy these translations, please consider supporting me on ko-fi.

Monologue

While being held by Subaru-kun, we escaped from the Scarlet mansion together.

I entangled my fingers strongly with his, this way, I’d never be able to let go of his hand.

And while I did so, Subaru-kun strongly clasped my hand as a response to my action.

Both of us couldn’t do anything else but run for our lives.

We tried finding a place to hide in, even though there wasn’t any place for us to go.

Place: Outside — Abandoned house

Subaru: What’s this?

Yui: Seems as if there’s an abandoned house even in a place like this.

Subaru: I wish we came here earlier. I’ll let you down.

Yui: Yes, thank you.

*Subaru lets Yui down*

Subaru: ...There seems to be no sign of any familiars around here either. But we can’t let our guard down.

Yui: That’s a relief for now. Would you like to go inside and take a rest then? I’m still worried about your injury.

Subaru: ...It might be best not to enter the house instantly.

Yui: Why is that?

Subaru: We couldn’t escape in case of emergency. Plus, we don’t mean to stay here forever anyway.

Not only Scarlet and Orange are after us, Violet is also still aiming for us.

We should try to find a safer place instead of getting ourselves into this run-down shabby house...

Yui: …..

Subaru: Heh, how funny. I really can’t trust anyone anymore here. It doesn’t even matter if it’s any of my brothers or not.

Everyone is looking for me because they want to snatch Eve away from me.

But they can bring it on if they dare. I don’t need to borrow anyone’s strength to protect my precious girlfriend.

Yui: I hope this never happens though! It’s not a bad thing to rely on other people after all. But during times like those I understand how hard it is to trust others...

Subaru: ...Guess so.

Yui: (Neither of us can trust anyone besides ourselves… but it’s only natural that he’s frustrated after Reiji-san betrayed us like he did, right?)

What should we do about your injury, Subaru-kun? The wound opened itself again a while ago, right?

Subaru: Don’t worry about it, I’m fine.

Yui: Please, Subaru-kun. Don’t try to act tough in front of me.

I’m afraid it will get even more messed up because you’re holding the pain in just to have me not worry about you.

Subaru: You…

Choices

1) I can’t see the future (black)

2) It’s because I like Subaru-kun (white) ♡ ♡ ♡

— I can’t see the future

Yui: We’re forced to get chased by everyone without even knowing why this is happening to the both of us...

I’m just worried because I can’t look into the future. I can’t help but wonder how long we’ll have to continue living like this...

Subaru: I didn’t mean to worry you, sorry.

Yui: No! You’re wrong! I’m not saying this is your fault or anything, Subaru-kun… !

I’m sorry, Subaru-kun. While I’m whining about all the things I just said, you’re relying on me more than ever.

It’s just hard for me to see you get even more hurt than you already are...

— It’s because I like Subaru-kun ♡

Subaru: I told you already, I’m fine. I’m a vampire, so this won’t be a big bother to me.

Yui: You might act as if it’s not bothering you, but it does bother me...

I really like you a lot, Subaru-kun. Therefore, I hate it when people I like are going through hard times by themselves.

I know I don’t have the same approximate strength as you do, but as much as you want to protect me...

I want to protect you as well.

Subaru: Does it really bother you that much?

end Choices

Yui: Hey, Subaru-kun. Be honest with me, would you be happier if I wasn’t here with you and the injury never happened?

Subaru: Hah? What are you talking about so suddenly?

*Yui starts crying*

Yui: You’re still injured because of me, and you have to force yourself to run away from everyone and everything due to me being with you.

...Maybe without me you could’ve stayed at Carla or even Reiji-san’s mansion.

Speaking of that, if I ended up cooperating as Eve, maybe someone would end up helping—

Subaru: Don’t say stupid shit!

Yui: Subaru-kun…

Subaru: You can’t decide these things on your own like that! Do you really think you’ll rescue everyone if you selfishly give yourself to them!? Hah!?

You’re still seen as a saint woman here, you know. So don’t play around with that!

Yui: I didn’t mean it like that...

Subaru: I said it so many times already though! No matter what you are in this world, I need you to be safe and sound!

*grabs Yui*

Subaru: Fuck, why won’t you get it!? I’ve already prepared myself to be with you from the start, okay!?

Yui: ….. !?

Subaru: It doesn’t matter to me what might happen to my body. I don’t want to give you to anyone else, even if things will go wrong…

*Subaru gets closer*

Yui: Subaru-kun…

Subaru: I don’t ever want to lose the feeling of holding you in my arms like I do right now… !

That’s why… ouch...

Yui: ...Ah, your injury… are you okay? Don’t overwork yourself.

(After all, his face does look as if he's in pain. You’re acting strong, but the wound actually does hurt you a lot, doesn’t it?)

(And despite that, he’s trying his hardest not to make me worry about him…)

Subaru: Shit, I just hugged you but it already started hurting so much… Ngh

I can’t do anything with this injury. I doubt I could even fight any of them in my current conditions… !

Yui: (I’m so sorry, Subaru-kun… after all, without me—)

Subaru: What do I do!?

*lightning strikes*

Subaru: What was that light just now!?

What’s going on?

???: …..

Yui: A glowing… ball?

Subaru: What’s with this ball? Looks like the odd things strike yet again...

Socrates: My name is Socrates—

Subaru: Damn! That thing talked! Yui, stay behind me!

Socrates: What heroic actions indeed. So you really are protecting Eve despite your whole body continuously suffering from your injury.

It appears as if we have hit an interesting phase in our experiment. I could not possibly miss this opportunity.

Subaru: Experiment… ?

Yui: What do you mean by that exactly? And who even are you?

Socrates: You do not need to know me. But let’s say that I am the specific reason why you are participants of this world.

Yui: (So this thing knows about this world…)

Um, why are both of us expected to be here to begin with? And where are we right now!?

Socrates: This place is a closed world created with magical power. You can imagine it like a miniature garden.

And as long as you are staying in this garden, neither of your memories were supposed to ever come back.

Subaru: As long as we’re in this garden? Does that mean...

Socrates: Exactly. If you can find a way to get out of this garden, everything will return back to its normality. The changed memory will return to their usual state as well.

However, I did indeed notice both of you had their memory returned without my interfering.

It seemed as this took place due to a sudden shock situation the both of you found yourselves in.

It could have also happened because of my extreme inadequacy. Let’s try to use this as a reference to what happened in the future.

Subaru: In the future… stop bullshitting me.

Spit it out, bastard! If you know this much, then it was you who trapped us here, right!?

What the fuck is the purpose of this entire shit anyway!?

Socrates: …..

Subaru: Tch… don’t shut up now!

*Subaru tries hitting Socrates*

Subaru: ...Nn, what… ?

Yui: Subaru-kun’s fist didn’t hit it...

Socrates: Such attacks are utterly useless. You cannot even touch me, I hope you realized that.

If you truly wish to go fight against something, go against this world itself, not me.

Subaru: Hah?

Socrates: This miniature garden is designed to break easily if it’s confronted with certain conditions.

Yui: (I’m glad to hear that. So there is a way to escape from here!)

Can you tell us about those certain conditions?

Socrates: The condition for this outcome is that one person in this garden has to sacrifice themselves for the other players.

Yui: Sacrifice… ?

Socrates: Any method for this matter will do. They merely have to end their own life.

Yui: Ending their life, you say...

Subaru: ...Don’t spread bullshit around! Are you telling us to kill ourselves here or what!?

Socrates: Not everyone has to die. In the end, only one has to sacrifice its life.

If there will be a player killing themselves instead of being killed by somebody, the experiment can no longer continue and the garden will be destroyed.

Subaru: Even so, we can’t do that!

Socrates: Well then, you should simply continue being trapped in this garden where time has stopped.

Nevertheless, it does not matter. I will now continue to watch attentively over the fate both of you will choose in the future.

*Socrates disappears*

Yui: Ah, it disappeared.

Subaru: Hey! Shit, come back!! We weren’t done talking yet!

Yui: Socrates-san! Why would you think and carry out such a cruel plan!?

Why do these brothers have to fight each other and even try to kill one another for this… ?

(We finally understand how this world works, but we can’t possibly do something as horrible as that… !)

(If nobody in this world will commit suicide, nobody will end up being saved)

(It might be ridiculous to accept what that glowing ball said without being able to question it…)

(But if there’s really no other way out here, should we really try this method… ?)

Subaru: Kch…

Yui: (Subaru-kun seems really worried about this too)

(No wonder. You can’t force someone to kill or even commit suicide to escape so suddenly like that…)

(I wonder, is there any other way we could try? There has to be a way to break free from this garden and for everyone to return there safely…)

[atveren]

Diluc X Reader

Warnings: Angst, Blood, Death, Swearing, Injury, Bone-breaking, Mentions of self hate

Probably goes against canon but what do I care?

Gender Neutral (They/Them, You/Yours)

It had been a long month for the winery owner. Diluc had returned home, hoping to just get some quiet. That’s all he wanted, at least an hour. Just a bit of time to calm down from the weeks of nothing but work, fighting and stress. By some luck, the abyss had picked up its work at the same time many orders had come in, and other things had been sabotaged.

Fate had other plans, because just as he walked inside, you rushed over to him, with a worried look in your eyes. “Diluc! Are you okay?” You asked, looking him up and down, checking for injuries. “I’m fine, (Name). But would you leave me alone, just for an hour? I need a break.” He asked, seeming exhautsed.

“Absolutely not! You were gone for a month, wirh zero contact to anyone but the staff. Do you have any idea how worried I was?!” You snapped back in retort. You couldn’t help it, he’d left with no warning and didn’t bother even sending a letter, or leaving a note? If it wasn’t for the staff telling you otherwise, you would’ve thought he died in a battle.

“(Name). I said it once, and I’ll say it again. I just need one hour. Then you can worry all you want.” Diluc said, his eyes narrowing, growing frustrated. You didn’t seem to notice, and continued pestering him. It took just a few more pushes, before he finally snapped.

Diluc’s tone was harsh, and held clear irritation. He massaged his forehead, aggravated. “Are you unable to understand I don’t want to be around you right now? It would’ve just been an hour, but I need a break. I’ll see you later.” And with that, he turned, leaving the main room. You yourself were angry, and tried to be as caring as possible towards him, and he took that for granted. (At least in your eyes, he did.)

You felt like it was maybe a decision made in anger, but you walked out. You decided that if he was going to hurt you like this, you would hurt him in return. Not directly, no. From afar, by supporting the one thing he hated the most in life. The Abyss. You’ll work to help their plans from the sidelines.

It was a long time later, maybe a few months. You didn’t know exactly, you hadn’t even returned to the city, unless it was for an attack. It was an odd encounter when you accidentally ran into an abyss mage, and they assumed you would attack. When you explained the situation, it seemed pleased. It had reported back to the others, and you were now regarded as an ally. You were thriving, especially knowing this was revenge on him. He had shoved you aside like you were disposable, (which wasn’t true, but that’s how you saw it.) and you were angry.

On the other hand, Diluc, was distraught. None of the maids knew where you’d gone, you hadn’t said a word, just like he did. He hoped that you were just busy, commissions, work from the knights, helping the traveller, anything other than being dead. He could never guess what you had done, he would never assume something like that of you. He’d tried by the knights, and only doubted them more. The adventurer’s guild hadn’t seen you either in monstadt nor liyue. He’d even asked the traveller, and got nothing.

It was as if, you had disappeared. He didn’t want to think you were dead. He didn’t want to think it was anything like that. Maybe you were avoiding him, seeing as that fight was pretty rough and maybe he had been too harsh..Wait..

“The abyss! They..they could’ve taken them...I should never have let my guard down, what have I done...” Diluc yelled out to nobody in particular, as he was alone in the manor. “They probably think I hate them..” He muttered, and despite swearing he wouldn’t let himself cry again. A tear fell, and then another, and then he was sobbing into his hands. He didn’t want to lose you. But, he was sure by now, you would never forgive him. He hadn’t even assumed you would be taken by the abyss, and now he was furious. He didn’t know the truth. He didn’t know you were apart of the group he hated the most.

An abyss mage warned you that he was looking for you, as others had been interrogated. You nodded in thanks to them, grabbing your weapon and donning the mask you had wood crafted to conceal your identity. You had dyed your hair with fruits, and your armour mostly concealed your body. As far as you were aware, he wouldn’t recognise you. The one thing you forgot, was the necklace he had given you a long time back. You had been used to wearing it normally, and hadn’t taken it off. Thankfully, it was tucked behind your armour.

The day shortly arrived when you crossed paths. He didn’t have time to ask questions before you attacked. You weren’t going to kill him, as angry as you were you couldn’t go that far. It may seem selfish, one fight and you decided to leave. But it had been many fights, many time he’s come home late, and forgotten anniversaries. All of that combined with him practically abandoning you, had caused you to break. You had tried being understanding, but that all vanished when he practically told you to fuck off.

Diluc didn’t know how bad it had hurt you, as far as he was aware, you weren’t affected. He couldn’t let his mind distract him. He had to focus on his opponent, which was a tricky one. It was as if they knew his attack patterns by heart..Well, that was the truth. “Where are they?!” His voice rang out over the battlefield, which was really just a small area of the woods. He wanted to use his elemental abilities, but something deep inside told him not to.

You hadn’t replied, only with a laugh that was sarcastic, and a shake of your head. Why did that laugh sound so familiair...It couldn’t be! Could it...? He didn’t have time to make up his mind, as his opponent missed a defence, and his claymore slit across their chest, shredding the armour and cutting deep, just barely missing any vital organs. A crack could be heard and you were sure something was shattered. The necklace could also be seen, and it loosely hanged as you brought your hands up to cover the injury, and stop the bleeding. As the blade had hit, your scream ripped through the area. You were sobbing, and in agony. It felt like you were dying, and perhaps..maybe you were.

Diluc’s eyes narrowed, noticing the necklace. “I’ll ask one last time. Where. Is. (Name)? You have their necklace, you’ve encountered them.” His voice was cold, and his blade was still ready. His elemental burst was also ready, he wasn’t taking any chances. “I won’t hesitate to kill you if you lie, or stay silent.” He approached closer, lowering the blade to your neck. You stared at him through the mask, before your hand shot up and ripped it off. “Me! Damnit Diluc, it’s me..” You sobbed out again, grasping the wound with both hands again.

Diluc stared. The claymore still held in his hands, before he tossed it to the side. “(Name)...I..I’m sorry..Were you forced to do this?! When did they take you..?” His voice was cracking, and all his self-respect and tough act disappeared. “They didn’t..I joined them.” You confessed, still staring into his eyes.

“Why would you-“ He almost yelled, before you yelled in return. “Because of you! I was sick of being treated like shit, and being ignored. Y-You would work and work and completely ignore me! I was sick of it.” He was silent, staring, and blinking. He couldn’t be mad at you, this was his fault. “And then when you decided to leave for an entire month, then shove me off like I meant nothing?! I was fucking done.”

Diluc dropped down next to you, he knew he didn’t have enough time to get you back to Monstadt, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try. He picked you up in his arms, holding you close to his chest. He wasn’t upset at you, he couldn’t be. He caused this. He was at fault. He didn’t know why you would put yourself in such danger, just to get back to him. “Please..hold on. I swear I’ll-“ You cut him off by bringing your hand to his cheek, wiping the blood and tears from his eyes. “Forgive me, Diluc, but it’s too late. Don’t be mad at yourself, I love you..” You coughed out, knowing your time was coming.

Your hand fell, and body grew cold. He froze. He couldn’t move, only holding you closer. He dropped to his knees, sobbing, and cursing himself. Muttering things of ‘this is my fault’ ‘I shouldn’t have snapped at them..’ and the like. He couldn’t believe this was reality, he didn’t want it to be. He couldn’t move. He was compeletely frozen. He knew he never said it enough, and it was too late now, but he said it anyway. “(Name)..I love you too.”

Diluc never did forgive himself. And he surounded himself with more work than before. He didn’t find love again, not after knowing he killed the person he considered the love of his life. The person he would be with forever.

~Bonus Ending that isn’t canon to this fic~

“Diluc...Diluc!” Your voice woke him up, he was out in the gardens and you were standing in front of him. He stared at you, you being uninjured and well, not dead. “Are you okay?! You were crying! Was it a nightmare?” You asked, sitting beside him. “I made you something as an apology. I should’ve let you take a break. Could you forgive me?” You passed the small treat over to him, and he took it, eyes never leaving you.

“Thank you, (Name). And I should apologise, how about I take the next month off? We can spend it together, how does that sound?” He offered, with a small smile. “That would be great! There’s this one super pretty area we could go to and..” He listened to your rambling, with this peaceful look. He would do anything to make sure that nightmare wasn’t a reality. “Let us go inside, shall we?” He calmly said, keeping his composure. You nodded with a smile. The two of you stood, and he wrapped an arm around your waist.

“Oh, and (Name)?”

“Yes..?”

“I love you. A lot. And I never want to lose you.”

[strawberrysoup]

Pocketful of Posies || Chapter 5

You’d been hiding for years and years now; from your family, from society, from alphas and packs. Suppressants were dangerous but effective and necessary for an omega who refused to be owned—but no suppressants were strong enough to fool the nose of a super soldier, who together with his pack would stop at nothing to bind you to them forever.

pairings: dark!Avengers x reader

word length: 4.7k

chapters: 5/?

warnings: A/B/O dynamics, power imbalances, noncon and dubcon sexual situations, loss of autonomy, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat — this is a dark!fic, read at your own risk. more detailed content warnings are included at the end of the chapter to avoid spoilers, click through the read more, CTRL + F “content warnings”. 

Rationality within Carol’s pack was often treated like a talking stick; only one person could have and use it at a time, and stealing it required either brute force or a clever trick—which was why she and Loki fumbled it back and forth so often. Sam seemed to have snatched it for a moment, until their omega’s sharp tongue made him fumble. She was cutting and brutal, as wild as she’d looked the first time Carol saw her: covered in mud and blood, half soaked from the bath and thrashing violently while Thor and Peter tried to gently get her in the tub.

The blonde figured it was time to regain the upper hand over their omega and came to stand at the top of the stairs, eyes locking on Sam from behind. He was turning the corner from patience to frustration, their little omega’s demeaning comments making the muscle in his jaw clench. It was impressive though; any of the other alpha’s in the house (plus herself and maybe minus Peter) would’ve had her nose in the corner by now, bent over to hold her own ankles and struggling for balance so that her forehead didn’t press against the wall lest she earn herself a spanking for being sulky.

“Alright Sammy, tag out,” Carol made sure that there was an undertone of mirth in her voice, hoping to bring the other alpha out of his anger. “You should probably go check on dinner and—Bruce, test results?”

“Oh, you’re right,” the beta nodded, immediately headed for the stairs. “Her hormone analysis should be ready at the least.”

The moment her eyes landed on the little omega on the bed, Carol felt her heart melt just a bit. Despite the vitriol she’d been spitting just moments before, the precious thing looked like an angel sprawled out in their den. All she wore was one of Thor’s t-shirts, the hem brushing the tops of her thighs and perfuming her scentless skin with his musk—she couldn’t wait until the suppressants were out of their omega’s system, Carol desperately wanted to know what she smelled like.

“Sammy?” The blonde prompted when the male alpha didn’t move, leading him to sigh.

“Yeah babe,” he leaned over and pressed a kiss against the omega’s forehead, ignoring how she shrunk back into the pillows behind her. “I’m out. Take care of her, beautiful.”

Sam stopped to press a kiss against Carol’s cheek on his way down the stairs, gesturing for Tony to follow. The genius rolled his eyes and huffed but followed nonetheless, only after tossing a wink at the scowling omega huddled in what would hopefully soon be a nest. Carol waited until they were both down before returning her attention to the younger woman, stomach filling with butterflies.

Carol had wanted an omega since she presented as an alpha at twelve. 90% of the people she interacted with thought she was such a waste—a female alpha? Objectively, a useless combination. Female alphas were weak and passive, certainly not strong enough to lead a pack or produce strong alpha babies. If only she’d been a delta or a beta, she could’ve at least carried children. She’d always been fully aware that society’s perspective was incredibly flawed; she was as dominant as any male, just as potent and just as strong. Stronger even—more recently by unimaginable levels.

But omegas rarely looked negatively upon female alphas. Omegas preened and clamored for the attention female alphas provided, they saw it as more tender and careful. Carol didn’t know if she exactly agreed with that either, but at least an omega would never look at her and consider her a very pretty waste.

Or so the blonde had thought, right up until making eye contact with the sweet-faced omega her pack had managed to stumble upon. She certainly didn’t look pleased, her glare verging on incendiary.

“You sure are feisty,” she felt her lips quirking at the corners, especially when the omega seemed to puff up like an angry kitten. “What you said to Sam wasn’t very nice. You gonna hiss at me too?”

The answer was a resounding yes, the cute, clicking cub growl she made only reinforcing Carol’s gut instinct that the little omega was perfect. She liked that fire, it wasn’t disrespectful—it demanded respect and the blonde could certainly understand that sort of attitude. Considering her omega’s evident disdain for modern presentation centered care, it could even be considered mild.

“Claws away, baby,” she ordered, tone amused and the smile still curling her lips as she toed her shoes off at the edge of the bed. “Be a good girl for me now.”

Carol pressed the omega flat to the bed before she could fight, plastering herself against the half-naked woman and burying her face in the crook of her neck. Scenting deeply made the blonde’s eyes roll back in her head—the faint scent of panicking omega wafted off her skin, only noticeable at such a distance. Thank God the Hulk picked it up, the alpha’s senses so incredibly strong that even while masked by Bruce’s beta he had picked up the faint whiff of omega; if Bruce hadn’t prompted Steve to scent carefully they might not’ve found her. Carol hadn’t been the only one in the pack desperate for an omega.

Thor had been… devastated to learn of the lack of omegas on Earth. With the destruction of Asgard and the remaining population’s relocation, it had been another gut punch to the alpha prime who’s people had already endured so much. He’d spoken at length about how omega Aesir were different than humans’ and the tone of longing and sadness in the prime had radiated through their entire pack.

The deltas, Bucky, Tony and Loki had all realized years ago how sorely their dynamic suffered without an omega. A delta’s overwhelming physiological drive was to provide support and comfort to pack members, their intuition let them see their packmates in a way the other presentation’s couldn’t replicate. Their pack’s deltas were all incredibly intuitive, beyond the norm, and without an omega to properly direct them they got manipulative. It was rarely antagonistic or cruel and if there had only been one delta in the pack, it would’ve slid by without notice—but deltas perceived the deception where others didn’t and it usually led to dissent amongst the three.

And while Steve had never said a word, Carol knew that as a sickly little beta he’d dreamt of being ‘strong enough to deserve an omega’. Bucky had mentioned it briefly—as had Tony, who’d heard it from his father at least biweekly. Steve loved omegas; he loved that they balanced an incredible strength with equal fragility. The very nature of them spoke to his inner artist, ‘his inner romantic,’ Bucky had teased. Now that he was a big ass alpha prime? He could deserve an omega now, he was strong enough now.

Their omega was practically a miracle, considering how few of them there were—so few adults, especially. Some claimed the overall population of omegas was going up despite the overwhelming evidence of the opposite and besides, the number of omegas born every year didn’t matter when you had packmates approaching their mid-forties. Tony, Bruce, and Clint were getting up there, as everyone liked to tease. Finding a reasonably aged omega that was also unclaimed? They’d never even considered the possibility, it was unfathomable.

Carol had consoled herself with the knowledge that her pack loved her deeply, found no fault in her gender or presentation. She knew it would take time, but soon her omega would realize the same. There was nothing wrong with her, she didn’t need to hide or put on a façade; not in their pack, not under their protection. Whatever the omega had gone through in her life must’ve been traumatizing, the blonde could only assume some sort of abuse, and it would be tough to instill confidence in her. They’d need to build her back up from scratch.

“You know, if you’d let Wanda search your mind, we’d have a much easier time understanding what’s going on,” the blonde murmured into the omega’s neck, nose brushing back and forth over her left scent gland. “Will you tell me why you’re so scared? Are you afraid of alphas or of packs? Or deltas?”

“I’m afraid of being trapped forever by a bunch of fucking rapists and kidnappers!” She spat furiously in response, struggling futilely under Carol’s careful grasp. “Get your fucking face out of my neck!”

“Packs it is then,” Carol sighed, lifting her head but keeping the woman pinned beneath her.

“You’re so shifty ‘mega, calm down. There are some horrible people out there, we know that better than anyone, and I’m sorry that you were hurt. I’m sorry you had to go through whatever it was.”

The omega froze, muscles pulling so tightly that she started to shiver. Her lips pursed, jaw clenching and her eyes got dim, lashes fluttering as she looked into the distance over Carol’s shoulder. It was a dead-eyed stare, one the blonde had seen before. Her baby was half trapped in a memory, tightly clenched hands clawing at Carol’s shirt and trying to force her body away.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry, come back—” Carol cooed into the omega’s ear, holding her tighter as she struggled. “You’re with me baby, you’re safe. Breathe with me, come back to me.”

“Would you fucking get off!” The omega choked, sounding both parts desolate and frustrated. “Why don’t you people fucking listen? Am I speaking gibberish?”

“I’m sorry you’re so angry omega,” the blonde’s eyebrows furrowed, sadness permeating her expression as she lowered her head to rest her forehead against the omega’s. “I’m sorry, I can’t get off—you need the pheromones, the alpha contact chemicals. Even if you’re traumatized, once the suppressants you’re on start to wear off you’re going to have to submit. We need to start practicing now so you can get comfortable with it, before it’s critical for your health.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry, you’re not sorry! If you were, you would’ve let me go. You wouldn’t be holding me here! I don’t need or want your help, I don’t want to be in a pack!”

“I hear you, baby, I promise I understand what you’re saying,” Carol carefully pinned one of the flailing omega’s arms down with her knee, reaching up to stroke the woman’s face. “You don’t want to be here, you don’t want to have a pack, I’m sure you don’t want to be bonded to us. But you’re on so many suppressants baby, there are so many mind-altering chemicals in the shit you were taking—”

“If you force me to stop taking them I’ll only be under the ‘mind-altering’ chemicals produced by the other presentations and—and this stupid collar forcing my body to produce addictive chemicals at a rapid rate,” she argued, “you want to argue that I’m out of my mind like I can’t be trusted with my own safety! I’m fully conscious, I’m not stupid, I’m an adult for fuck’s sake. The only thing that’s going to fuck up my personal agency is you!”

“We’ll know for sure when Bruce gets your test results back,” Carol sighed realizing how unlikely it would be for her to get through to the omega. “Tony’s having some equipment dropped by in the morning so he and Bruce can run some more. If your hormone levels aren’t entirely trashed, we’ll revisit this conversation.”

“You have to let me take my suppressants tonight then,” the omega pushed against the blonde again, grunting with effort and irritation when she didn’t move at all. “Otherwise the test results from today won’t match the ones tomorrow, missing a dose will entirely trash my hormone levels! The tests won’t provide an accurate reading!”

Carol was shaking her head before she’d even finished the explanation. “No way, there’s a reason those are illegal, baby. They’re so dangerous—”

“I’ve been taking them for fifteen years and I’m completely fine, come on—”

She watched the omega’s face fall when she sighed, “it’s not gonna happen baby. This one isn’t up for debate.”

“This one?” The omega scoffed bitterly, lips twisting as angry tears collected in her eyes. “Nothing is ‘up for debate’. I’m here, aren’t I? Obviously against my will. I’m not even wearing my own clothes, you won’t let me move! You’re acting like this is the one bit of agency you’re planning to strip from me but you’re either too stupid to realize that or you’re too caught up in the idea of having a house bitch to care!”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Carol frowned, thumb smoothing over the crease between her brows. “We’re not looking to ruin your life, baby. The last thing we want is to make you meek or take away your ability to make your own choices, but we have to take care of you.”

“Y-you don’t though,” she hissed, breath hitching as she fought not to cry in front of the alpha. “I’ve been taking care of-of myself for years. I’ve never had a problem I’ve—I’ve never been attacked or assaulted or—”

Carol shifted until the omega was cradled in her lap, easily blocking the omega’s attempts to escape her grasp, “If that’s true baby girl, I don’t think you understand how rare it is—or how it would mean you were poisoning yourself so thoroughly that no alpha could scent you. There’s too many people out there would hurt you just for being you; the only way for you to be safe is with us, where you don’t have to keep taking the pill equivalent of drinking gasoline and bleach.”

“I should have the choice!”

“The choice to slowly kill yourself?” The blonde looked down into the omega’s face in disbelief. “No one in their right mind would allow another person to suffer like that.”

Their attention was suddenly and brutally drawn to the stairwell, both of their hindbrains reacting to the scent of overwhelmingly aroused alphas accompanied by raised voices and shouting. The omega in her lap went completely and utterly still, instincts locking down all movement as if it could prevent her from being seen. Carol sighed quietly through her nose, nudging her forehead gently against the charming little creature hiding against her chest. She couldn’t really tell what they were yelling about but she figured it had something to do with whatever Bruce found.

“Someone has to—!”

“That doesn’t mean—!”

“It should be—!”

The blonde cracked her neck, arms slipping around the waist of her omega and locking in place like iron bands. The cowering made it easier for Carol to snuggle her tightly against her chest, wiggling them carefully as several pairs of feet began stomping up the stairs, until the omega was entirely engulfed by the alpha from behind. Steve and Thor made it up first, shoulder to shoulder and passive-aggressively nudging each other in the ribs. Sam was next, along with Bucky—both of whom were being decidedly antagonistic to poor Peter who followed behind.

“Would you guys shut the hell up? What’s going on?”

Before anyone else could respond Bruce forced his way between the group of more dominant males, eyes flashing green even as he attempted to shake it off, “the amount of alpha pheromone in her blood is so low it’s amazing she isn’t in shock.”

“What?!” The omega snapped furiously, eyes darting between the people standing around the room nervously. “There’s nothing wrong with me—!”

“Carol, hold her,” Steve ordered, as if the blonde hadn’t locked the omega down the second they heard them coming. “Thor, how are we gonna do this?”

Both primes looked almost pained, their faces painted with grimaces as they exchanged glances. Their struggle was easy to identify; neither wanted to cause any strife between them, damage to their partnership would damage the pack but they wanted to be first. Their hindbrains could barely function beyond the desire to fuck their omega, their pretty, sweet little omega who desperately needed alpha semen because her body would stop functioning without it. Primes always got first take on omegas, but when there were two primes in a pack things got dicey.

“Have one of us do it,” Carol chimed, carefully maintaining an expression that relayed she wasn’t trying to step on toes. “Both of you are massive, you could do damage without proper prep and if it’s that serious we can’t wait on that.”

“I’ll do it!” Peter was quick to step forward. “You all know I’ll the gentlest and she’s already upset—”

“Shut it Spiderboy,” Sam quickly interjected, giving the younger alpha a stern look, “she needs careful handling, not some teenager fumbling with his knot.”

“I’m not a teenager anymore you asshole—!”

“Carol’s cock is the smallest,” Tony stated nonchalantly as he kicked off his shoes in the closet that faced the den, “no offense babe, just logistics.”  

“None taken,” the blonde snorted slightly in amusement before turning her attention to the two primes, “I can get her started, at least get her hormones on the right track.”

“Let go of me you psycho!” The omega howled, voice constricted by her collar. “Get away from me, let me go!”

A low, bone-deep rumble suddenly washed over everyone in the attic, the growl emanating from both Steve and Thor. A keening moan escaped the omega, her breath hitching and eyes rolling as viscous slick gushed from her pussy. The scent of it made waves through the rest of the pack, a cacophony of moans and growls echoing off the high ceiling as the responding scent of hot and bothered emanated through the den.

“Thor?” Steve questioned the other prime imploringly, knowing that they needed an immediate answer and follow through.

The taller man grit his teeth, nose flaring for several moments before he let out another low growl that made their omega cry with arousal. “You first—leave my shirt on her, please.”

“Oh God, oh God,” the whimpering omega shifted in Carol’s arms, likely about to try to make a break for it when Steve swept her up into his arms. “Please, wait—!”

“Your pussy is dripping for your primes, isn’t it precious?” The alpha male hummed quietly as he swiftly lowered them both to the bed, hands grasping the backs of her thighs and pressing her knees towards her shoulders. “So much slick for such a little thing.”

The whine that came from Peter sounded wrecked, only minutely more embarrassing than the groans and panting coming from the rest of the pack as they watched. The omega looked to be approaching frantic and Carol sighed, shifting farther away from the prime on the bed—there was no reason to test Steve’s incredible patience. Well, that had been Carol’s opinion anyway.

Evidently Loki believed otherwise, but then again the delta was habitually prone to testing Steve’s last goddamn nerve. The brunet had appeared with a shimmering green light, lying on the bed so close to the omega that the scent from his ridiculously expensive Fendi sweater was transferring to her arm and shoulder. The prime had barely flinched, certainly hadn’t reacted in a manner more noticeable than a slight dilation in his pupil. Thor made a reprimanding noise but didn’t move forward to remove the delta, much to Bucky and Tony’s immediate disdain.

“Why the fuck does he get to—!”

“You better rethink that, Ice Man!”

The combined snarls from both primes quickly brought all three deltas to heel and while Loki didn’t retreat, he did keep his hands to himself. One hand propped up his head, the other tightly fisted and rested on the bed between himself and the omega’s borrowed shirt while eyes burned into him from all sides. The omega’s wide eyes were locked on the man, some flicker of recognition fleetingly passing over her face. Loki was good at surprise entrances and even better at taking advantage of his brother’s status in the pack—not that he necessarily got away with things the others wouldn’t, but none of the others particularly wanted to find out what the prime’s breaking point was either.

“I just want to keep her calm, is that so horrible?” The tone the God used was smooth and Carol remembered the talking stick analogy again. “You can smell the poor thing’s terror, is it really necessary?”

Steve looked conflicted for maybe two seconds when a light went off behind his eyes. “Keep her calm so I don’t have to purr and you can stay.”

The delta’s hand immediately slipped up the front of her shirt, cupping the curve of her rib cage just under her breast. His nose pressed into her neck in the following moments, a small golden glow flowing over the little omega’s skin where he touched her. The odor of fear was quick to recede once the windows were open, replaced with the tangy-sweet scent of her pussy. Carol inhaled sharply and whined, drawing Steve’s attention to her wide, sad eyes.

The prime huffed, running one big hand through his hair while Loki held the omega’s thigh in place. “Hands to yourself, Carol.”

The blonde immediately tucked her nose into the other side of the omega’s neck, hands clenched into fists and tucked tightly against her stomach. She could hear the rest of the pack shuffling around, vying for space and views on the bed. Steve seemed entirely unbothered, his gaze once again locked on the pretty omega’s.

“Is your cunt working your slick hard enough precious?” He murmured directly into her ear, lips brushing the skin gently. “If those muscles aren’t strong enough we might have to put in a bit more effort to stretch you out. Squeeze around my fingers baby.”

Carol’s eyes rolled back when a breathy whine escaped the omega, the only perceivable reaction that might’ve betrayed her fear—otherwise, whatever magic Loki had used made her eyes shine with bliss. Steve had two fingers knuckle deep in her cunt, still pressing forward while his slick coated thumb swept up through her folds to pass over her clit. She shook under the grasp of his packmates, hips shifting without her consent to follow the movement of his hand.

“Come on sweetheart, please?” Steve implored quietly, looking at the loosely pinned omega with soft eyes. “Clench your pussy for me, let me take care of you. Please, I—oh, there you go, that’s a good girl.”

He hummed, working his fingers deeper into her cunt and scissoring them carefully. A smile lit the prime’s face when the cutest hiccupping moan escaped the omega, her legs pressing futilely against his hold. Muscle memory tried to guide her legs closed but Carol easily slipped a hand around her knee, keeping her spread wide while Steve continued to stretch her pussy. Another bass toned growl from Thor reverberated off the walls and she wailed, slick dripping over Steve’s fingers while her pussy contracted in waves as commanded by the prime’s guttural growl.

“I’m gonna take care of you precious,” her low whine prompted a moan from Steve as he added a third finger, carefully pressing the pads of his fingers up against her g-spot. “You’ll feel so much better once we fuck you, I promise.”

Carol watched with heavily lidded eyes as the omega’s attention was sparked by Steve’s use of the collective we. Likely it was only Loki’s magic that kept her from lashing out as viciously as they knew she was capable of. In spite of it, her little teeth showed, sharp incisors flashing in a botched hiss. The prime poised himself over her carefully with a small grin, fingers still fucking into her with vigor while he rested his weight on his elbow next to her head.

“It’s gonna be okay omega, it’s gonna be okay,” he cooed quietly against her ear, removing his hand only to pull his cock from his pants. “Take deep breaths, baby.”

“Don’t—” She didn’t sound distressed, the omega sounded aroused and desperate, “I—”

“Shhhh,” the prime’s lips skimmed over her cheeks, down her nose while his hand guided his dick up and down her slick folds until he was dripping with her arousal. “I’m gonna take care of you, precious. We’re gonna take care of you.”

The sound that escaped the omega’s lips as he slipped into her was goosebump inducing in the best way. She whined as the head popped in, breath hitching with every millimetre that came thereafter—and there were a lot of them. The omega was squirming, her heels scrambling against the blankets and both Loki and Carol found themselves having to focus much harder than expected on keeping her still while Steve bottomed out.

“You’re doing so well, darling,” Loki cooed, his nose brushing the line of her jaw. “I know it’s a lot but you’re taking it beautifully. Stay still love, just relax we’ll hold you.”

“That’s right ‘mega,” Steve groaned as he withdrew, the squelch of her cunt making his teeth clench. “We’ll do all the work precious, you just have to be a good girl and take my cock.”

It was easier said than done and everyone in the room save Thor was fully aware of that. The omega’s sweet little whines and cries were causing a massive feedback loop of arousal in the pack’s consciousness and Carol was pretty sure she could hear the sounds of several people going at it but she couldn’t pull her gaze away from where Steve’s cock was drilling into that pretty cunt. Evidently said feedback loop was also affecting Steve, who very suddenly growled possessively.

“Carol, Loki, off,” The prime snapped barely hesitating before dropping his elbows into the pillows on either side of the omega’s head, narrowly avoiding giving his pack mates concussions. “Now.”

Both the alpha and the delta were yanked off the bed by their ankles—well, Carol was yanked off the bed. Loki was yanked off the bed and then promptly thrown into the wall by said ankles. The reinforced exterior wall meant there was only a small dent where the god had landed, but the ensuing ruckus had a strong potential of causing even more damage. Thor immediately turned to deal with the problem, along with several other packmates.

Several things occurred in the next few seconds and the pack would probably fight about what really happened for the next twenty years, but somehow Bucky was thrown through the window and Tony’s right ring finger was broken.

And Wanda—poor Wanda, Thor pushed her out of the way before Bucky could accidentally take her through the window with him. The beta was sent flying, sailing across the bed until she hit the unyielding form of Steve. He startled in shock, immediately drawing back to assess her condition—only for a heel to slam directly into his nose. The prime’s head snapped back from the force, big body falling backwards while his hands scrambled for purchase on his face.

The omega probably would’ve even gotten down the stairs if Natasha hadn’t been ascending the stairs at that moment, having heard the commotion from where she and Clint had been putting away groceries. The redhead smelled her before seeing her, a somewhat sinister grin pulling Nat’s lips when the omega ran directly into her while attempting escape #2.

“Now where are you going, kitten? With that mess dripping down your thighs,” the beta cooed, head tilting as she scented the air. “Why can I smell Steve on you, but not his cum?”

There was a horrible, long pause while the omega seemed to consider her options before landing on Go For Broke. She attempted to dodge past Natasha but the beta’s strong arm immediately lashed around her waist, her superior strength making it easy to force her up the stairs even as she refused to hold her own weight.

Steve met them just two steps from the top, dick out and covered in blood. The prime’s expression wasn’t so much angry as it was disappointed and Natasha hummed in false sympathy.

“Someone’s been naughty, huh kitten?”

content warnings: nonconsensual sex, voyeurism 

[autisticcassandracain]

🔥 kori

dickkory sucks but not for any of the reasons dickkory haters say it sucks. most dickkory hate is literally just ppl hating on kori disguised as a 'personal opinion' on ships and usually those opinions make it extremely obvious that they never bothered to like, actually read The New Teen Titans lmao. 'dickkory was mostly sexual' is especially a terrible take because not only is it blatantly untrue, it's also based in the slut-shaming Kori has received over the years for being sexually open, and the mischaracterization she's received bc people saw an opportunity to reduce a female character to a sex object with a thin veil of plausible deniability in the form of 'characterization' and took it.

Most arguments against dickkory I've seen focus on the idea that Kori didn't offer Dick much, which is HILARIOUS because you have a MUCH better argument for the reverse, which is exactly what I will now proceed to argue.

got long, is under the cut, you know the drill. TL;DR Kori and Dick's relationship was badly built up, Kori provides more emotional support for Dick than Dick provides for Kori, Kori was more important to Dick's development than Dick was to Kori, and I don't think it's ever even been stated why Kori likes Dick.

Also donnakory was built up way better than dickkory and I'd argue Donna has had more of an influence on Kori than Dick ever did. That last one isn't explained in-depth it's just important to me that you know this.

Dick and Kori barely interacted prior to getting together, and yet we were supposed to believe this narrative that Dick was definitely in love with Kori and just couldn't admit it. I literally did a double take the first time Kori mused to herself about being confused Dick 'wouldn't admit to being in love with her' like I'm sorry WHEN did that get established??? I'm too aro for 'love at first sight' bullshit you have to actually make them interact or I won't buy it. This lack of build-up was my first problem with dickkory, but I was willing to ignore it if the actual relationship appealed to me.

It didn't. Dick and Kori's relationship is marked by a pattern of what, to me, is incompatibility. Dick is the type of person who, when stresses, lashes out at others and pushes them away. He's seen doing this multiple times to Kori in The New Teen Titans, most notably shortly after they got together when he was stressed due to having too much on his plate, and in the Return to Tamaran/Karras/Marriage arc. Kori consistently reacts to this behavior by blaming herself for it. The first time, she comes to Donna to ask her if she's done anything wrong, after which Donna reassures her that Dick's just Like That, and Kori resolves to be as supportive as she can.

The second time bothers me much more; on Tamaran, Dick is so mean to her she ends up having a full-on breakdown, which she first seeks support for from Joey, but later, she just stays depressed until she can return to Earth. While Dick's behaviour was influenced by his brainwashing, we never get confirmation of how much of it was influenced, and on top of that, the comic repeatedly and consistently frames Kori as having 'hurt Dick' during this arc afterwards, making her say this repeatedly, while never refuting it or addressing the ways Dick has harmed Kori during this arc.

While Dick did man up and apologize in both circumstances (I think the second apology was lacking, but the first was quite good), it still established a pattern that I find uncomfortable. Dick is rude to Kori, Kori takes it personally and wonders what she's done wrong, Kori tries to talk it out with Dick, Dick snaps at her and pushes her away, but eventually realizes he's been mean and apologizes. What bothers me the most in this pattern is the part where Kori consistently blames herself for Dick's behaviour, and assumes she's done something wrong to make him behave this way. Every time this came up in the comics, it made me deeply uncomfortable, because I've seen enough real-life relationships with a very similar dynamic to this that were deeply unhealthy to make this set off all my alarm bells.

I want to stress that I don't think dickkory is actually unhealthy in canon, but it reminds me of enough unhealthy relationships I've known for me to be personally uncomfortable with it.

That's not the only part that reminds me of those relationships: I feel like Dick is getting way more out of this relationship than Kori. Kori is consistently shown to support Dick when he goes through tough situations, even when Dick responds by trying to push her away or being rude to her. Similarly, Dick has stated that Kori was the one who helped him open up about his emotions, and has had a tremendous positive effect on his character development as a result; he even goes so far as to name her one of the elements of his Nightwing identity. Kori pushes Dick to explore new areas of himself, and supports him when he has problems.

Dick, by contrast.... doesn't really do this with Kori. When Kori needed support, Dick was consistently either absent or actually rude to her. Again, this is most prominent during the Karras arc; during a time when Kori desperately needed someone to support her, Dick was only concerned with his own hurt feelings. And again, yes, he was brainwashed during this, but again, we never actually got confirmation on how much of this behaviour was due to brainwashing, and much of the writing afterwards framed Kori was the one in the wrong here, so my point stands. This was the singular most important moment Kori needed support, and Dick blew it, and the narrative basically let him off the hook for it.

The only time I can think of when Dick supported Kori in non-battle related situations was right after the Wildebeest arc in New Titans, but that was also the start of Kori's character massacre for the break up arc, so I don't exactly have fond memories of that. I'm sure there's been more minor moments where he's supported her that I'm forgetting, but I shouldn't have to have this much trouble coming up with times Dick has emotionally supported Kori.

Furthermore, Dick hasn't had a similar effect on Kori's character development to Kori's effect on Dick. While Kori did develop while she was with Dick, this wasn't really due to Dick. Her short-lived change of heart about the morality of murder was due to her personal experiences, and while Dick probably aided in this decision, so did Donna and even the rest of the Titans. It was not something that was uniquely Dick, the way Dick opening up about his emotions was uniquely Kori. Her distancing herself from Tamaran and embracing Earth was also not uniquely Dick, and was in fact a realization that mostly took place in his absence. Other parts of her character development follow this pattern.

I'm not saying Dick has had no effect on Kori's character progression, but he wasn't instrumental in it the way Kori was instrumental in his. Kori's character would've likely progressed in an extremely similar fashion even without him, and I can't say the same for Dick. If anyone influenced Kori's development in a similar way Dick influenced Kori's, it was Donna, who was the one to introduce her to Earth culture, supported her through various tough times and insecurities, helped her find a job (albeit it on accident) and frequently worked with her later, etc. etc. And even then, I don't think Donna's effect on Kori was quite as dramatic as Kori's effect on Dick.

The final nail in the coffin for any interest I may have had in dickkory is the fact that I, honest to god, have no idea why Kori likes Dick. I don't. Dick has several internal monologues about how much he loves Kori for her passion, her drive, her openness, and the way she pushes him to explore new parts of himself and open up, but Kori... doesn't really do the same for Dick. I can make guesses as to why I think Kori likes Dick, even fairly educated ones (I think Kori likes Dick at least in part because his intellectual approach to life is new and interesting to her, for example), but they've never stated it explicitly the way they've stated what Kori likes about Dick. And for a series that'll state practically everything explicitly if it can, up to and including what's happening on the panel right now, this is very weird to me.

Any of these problems, isolated, I could've gotten past; even a two of these problems I could've probably ignored. Three would've been pushing it, but all of them? No chance. Any good will I had towards the relationship was buried with the Karras arc, and then shot in the head for good measure when they continuously talked about it as if Kori was the one at fault there.

All of these problems combined make it very clear to me that Kori was not the primary concern in this relationship. Kori was invented as a love interest for Dick, and it shows. This entire relationship is about what it does for Dick, how it helps Dick. The only thing Kori gets out of it, at least to me, is the happiness she gets from being in love, and frankly, she could get that with literally any other character.

The fact that people keep reducing her character to this relationship also infuriates me and makes me even less inclined to like it, especially when they can't even bother to remember Kori was the one who broke up with Dick and instead treat Kori as the one who was left heartbroken and has never gotten over it, while Dick gets to move on with his life and other love interests.

I think this relationship had potential; I think their contrasting personalities could've made for an interesting relationship, and I've enjoyed some isolated moments and fandom portrayals of them before. But after reading The New Teen Titans, I just do not understand why so many Kori fans like this relationship so much. I went into the series neutral on the relationship but hopeful about being won over, to straight-up hating it.

Also that one time they used a relationship between a man who was about to shoot his wife for cheating on him as a direct and obvious parallel to dickkory was SO GODDAMN AWFUL. why the hell did they think that was a good idea. why.

[tbhsoft]

life bar

idol!haechan x idol!y/n

summary: after the legendary interview was released, you and haechan began dating and have been getting an overwhelming sense of support.

genre: fluff

length: 2.1k

a/n: ah! i didn’t think the first post would gain any traction but it did! thank you so much for returning for a part two :)

this is modeled after the korean variety show, life bar. it’s a great show where celebrities aren’t subject to formal interview settings. please check it out! (mark did appear on the show with xiumin and changmin)

i’m not entirely sure of the hosts’ (other than heechul & yura) popularity outside of korea so excuse me for just labelling them as hosts.

if you missed part one, click here!

originally dnghycks’ gif

[the atmosphere is lively and filled with joy] host: how long have you been dating again?

heechul: oh, haechan! you’re dating someone?

haechan: ah, hyung! let’s not act like no one knows.

[heechul, dejected, grumbles to himself]

johnny (laughing): haechan didn’t fall for your bait.

[haechan winks at heechul, making heechul go into mock rage]

host: so, it’s been about 4 years?

[haechan plays with the glass in his hands, smiling to himself]

haechan (shyly): ya, just about.

heechul: are you guys still in your honeymoon phase?

host: do you still get butterflies when you see them?

haechan (nodding): of course! it hasn’t been that long.

heechul: it’s difficult to have a successful relationship as an idol. how did you guys handle it after that interview went viral?

haechan: it was very different to what i expected, you know?

haechan: first of all, we were preparing for the award shows and i was super focused.

haechan: i think it was during our water break that notifications were blowing up all of our phones.

johnny: we were so confused and thought it was from our managers.

haechan: i didn’t react immediately but i could hear the other members reacting, saying things like “no way” or “holy crap”.

haechan: everyone turned and looked at me. i felt like an imposter.

haechan: i was like “what? do i have something on my face? did someone send a meme of me?”

haechan: that’s when mark hyung showed me the news articles.

haechan: i blanked out for the rest of the day if i’m honest, barely remember anything from that day.

haechan: the only thing i remember was the pit in my stomach growing every time i stopped practicing. so, i kept pushing myself so i didn’t have time to think.

johnny: haechan actually fainted that day. he worked himself so hard that we had to rush him to the hospital.

haechan: luckily, it was just exhaustion and i could still perform. but, when i woke up, they told me to rest as much as possible.

haechan: the managers made sure i didn’t leave the house and told me to rest up.

haechan: it forced me to process what the news articles were saying.

haechan: once i did, all i was worried about was how y/n might be handling it.

haechan: was jyp going to give them a hard time?

host: did you text them?

haechan: because we were both focused on the award shows, i thought it best to avoid contact with them until it was all over.

johnny: even when it was all over, he still couldn’t text them.

johnny: i remember haechan pacing our room, trying to decide whether or not to call them.

haechan: i wanted to offer comfort but i wasn’t sure if it would aggravate the situation.

haechan: i think it was a few days after the last award show that i had an official meeting with lee sooman and the press team.

haechan: my eyes were wide the entire meeting.

haechan: lee sooman started the meeting by saying “congratulations!” and i was confused.

haechan: he went on to explain that he liked y/n for me and would support this relationship publicly as long as it didn’t affect my work.

haechan: i couldn’t really articulate my feelings so i think i just nodded.

haechan: he continued asking me about y/n after it, asking if we had made it official yet.

haechan: when i said no, he said that he would issue a buffer statement so i had time to ask them out.

haechan: the meeting concluded and, on my way home, y/n texted me.

heechul: what did they say?

haechan: “can we talk?”

heechul (dramatically rubbing his arms): oh no! the chills!

[haechan chuckles and takes a sip of his beer]

haechan: i told them we should meet in person to talk about it as professionals and adults.

johnny: when he tells it like that, it makes him seem tough. he was tearing up while he was getting ready to go out.

[haechan throws dried squid at johnny]

johnny: yo, thank you! i was hungry!

haechan (rolling his eyes): i wasn’t tearing up—

johnny: you’re right! you were sobbing. my bad!

johnny: you were so scared that you were gonna lose y/n.

[haechan balls up his fist in playful anger]

haechan: if only…

haechan: anyways, i was scared that i was going to be entering the new year without my best friend.

haechan: i asked johnny to drive me to our meeting spot so our manager wouldn’t know.

haechan: once we got there, y/n was already waiting on the bench for me so i told johnny to just chill in the car.

johnny: this is when i snuck my phone in his parka so i could wiretap the conversation.

[haechan pinches his nose bridge]

haechan: ah, hyung! privacy! no wonder your guesses were so accurate.

haechan: anyways, we sat down and talked like we always do. then, we got together!

johnny: in the end, y/n asked him out because he kept stumbling over his words.

johnny: y/n was giggling the whole time. it was very wholesome.

[haechan facepalms while the hosts laugh]

heechul (facing the camera): y/n, please take care of haechan! i know he lacks courage sometimes but—

haechan: really, now? after 4 years?

[johnny laughs while patting haechan’s head]

host: do you hold any resentment towards your interviewers?

[haechan takes a swig of his beer]

haechan: i did at the beginning? i don’t think y/n or i were ready to confess our feelings to each other’s faces just yet.

haechan: but, it’s not entirely their fault either.

haechan: i think, because we kept it a secret for so long, we wanted to tell someone and it was the first time we were prompted to talk about it under the veil of false security.

johnny (understandingly): and it’s easier to tell strangers than your closest friends, right?

haechan: for sure. i think a small part of me did hope they would see the entire interview at some point and that’s why i was so transparent.

heechul: and, because of that, you’re in a beautiful relationship now!

haechan (grinning): thank goodness for that!

host: what did they say when you told them you were coming to our show?

[haechan throws his head back in laughter]

johnny (chuckling): they told him that his taste in alcohol sucks and that they felt sorry for the hosts.

heechul: but, all the drinks you recommended are so good!

haechan (wiping away tears): that’s because they’re their recommendations. i don’t really drink for taste, only the social aspect.

johnny: y/n doesn’t like alcohol. so, if they think something tastes good, then it tastes amazing.

heechul: let’s raise our glasses to our hero, y/n!

[everyone happily raises their glass and cheers to you]

host: did you take them on a date immediately after the statements were released?

haechan: well, i wanted to… but, busy schedules and the fact that we hung out so much beforehand made it near impossible to have a good first date.

johnny: he was looking up “good date ideas” online and kept complaining that he already did those.

haechan: it wasn’t intentional. i guess y/n and i just liked to do couple things unironically.

heechul: i can’t believe you guys never got caught.

haechan: i think it’s because we were dressed so plainly without any disguises.

haechan: only a few people ever recognized our bare faces.

haechan: so, i decided to take them to jeju to see my mom after she called me.

johnny (laughing): i remember that call! she was like “now, bring my future in-law or else i’ll beat you up!”

haechan: when we got there, my mom totally ignored me and went straight for them.

haechan: she told them “i knew donghyuck liked you! he’s such a loser for not asking you out sooner.”

[haechan massages his temple and sighs]

johnny: on the record, haechan’s mom definitely loves y/n more than him.

[haechan nods in agreement]

haechan: so, after my mom babied y/n enough, i took them where you could see the stars perfectly.

haechan: i was really nervous and i didn’t really know what to do until y/n grabbed my hand.

haechan: they looked at me and said “as long as you’re with me, every passing moment is perfect. so, stop trying so hard.”

heechul: woah, y/n is so cool.

haechan: they really are. so, we spent our first real date stargazing and just enjoyed each other’s company.

[the host introduces the next dish and haechan helps set the table] heechul: why don’t we call y/n?

haechan (hesitant): i don’t know if they’re awake. they’re always taking naps at this time.

heechul: i’ll call them.

[heechul rings you up]

you (groggily): hello?

heechul: y/n! it’s heechul with the life bar crew. if you could introduce yourself.

[shuffling is heard through the phone]

you (clearer): all in us! hello, i’m y/n from itzy!

heechul: we were just talking about your relationship and wanted to hear your perspective.

[heechul motions haechan to say something]

haechan (sweetly): hi, darling. i’m sorry we interrupted your nap.

you: no, it’s okay! my alarm was about to go off anyways.

haechan: i was telling them about what happened after the interview and our first date.

you: ah, those were interesting.

heechul: oh? interesting, how?

you (giggling): if you know haechan, you know he doesn’t really cry, much less sob. but, when he showed up to talk, his eyes were puffy from crying so much and he had tear streaks on his face.

haechan (pouting): let’s not expose too much, y/n!

you (teasingly): what are you gonna do? cry on me?

[haechan sits back in his chair, frowning]

you: anyways! i vividly remember feeling bolder after the interview, not that i wasn’t nervous about public opinion.

you: however, i was actually talking to jyp when everything blew up.

you: he reassured me that he didn’t mind and he would support any decision i made.

you: just like that, he removed a whole weight off of my shoulders.

you: so, i was able to perform with confidence and complete reassurance.

you: but, whenever i saw hyuck at the award shows, he looked like he was about to implode so i thought it was better to wait for him to text me.

you: i’m sure johnny told you how frustrated the whole group was. i was the exact same.

[haechan blushes and buries his face in his hands]

you: i just wanted to be able to call him mine but he wouldn’t text me.

[everyone laughs and quietly teases haechan]

you (laughing): honestly, i was really impatient but i didn’t want to push him. so, i waited for a whole week after the last award show.

you: but, he was avoiding me really well! i even had to text johnny to make sure he was still alive.

you: so, i decided to just reach out to him first.

you: during the meeting, i tried to act like normal and tease him about his puffy face but he was having none of it.

you: “y/n, this is serious. this is our careers we��re talking about.”

you: i was scared for a moment until he was stumbling his confession out.

you: “the interview! i meant it. everything. i do. i would really like it if— i mean if you feel the same way— of course you do! you said it in the video. you do feel the same way, right?”

haechan (whining): you’re making me sound lame!

you: no, you were cute! but, also, slightly lame.

[you cackle through the phone]

you: so, i just asked him.

heechul: how about the first date?

you: he was so worried about being romantic and having that perfect first date that he forgot that i’m just a simple person.

you: when we went to see the stars, he was so nervous and was getting frustrated with himself.

you: to me, the effort he went through in itself was romantic to me.

you: i didn’t need the most spectacular first date because him being by my side was more than perfect.

you: so, i just let him know my thoughts and, when he finally relaxed, it became the most memorable first date ever.

heechul: what happened after he relaxed?

haechan: i listed all the little things that made me fall in love with them time and time again.

[everyone awes]

you: he made me feel like the most beautiful being in the universe.

heechul: okay! before this turns to sappy, y/n! thank you so much for joining us today!

you (laughing): it was my pleasure! invite me next time so i can expose haechan!

haechan: ya!

heechul: will do, bye!

[heechul hangs up the call]

host: you can definitely feel the love between you two.

haechan (in mock anger): i’m going to jump them the next time i see them.

heechul (grinning): well, i wish you guys nothing but happiness. host (raising his glass): to haechan and y/n’s beautiful relationship! [glasses clink as a bright grin appears on haechan’s face]

a/n: if i’m completely honest, idk how relationships work so idk if the way i wrote about this situation was done in a healthy way :P

pls feel free to give me feedback because i’m always looking to improve!

thank you so much for reading once again!

also, idk really know how taglists work so... @wownajaemin​, hello!

[straykidsreactions]

Reaction To: Foreign S/O Debuts in a Kpop Group

S T R A Y   K I D S  R E A C T I O N   T O : Foreign S/O debuting in a K-pop group + how you met

A/N: Thanks so much for requesting and being patient @lovemyhyunjinnie​ , and for supporting the blog!

Genre: Fluff

Chan: 

You’d started seeing Chan a little over 8 months ago after meeting him completely by accident at a noodle shop down the road from your trainee dorm. You’d only been in Seoul for a little over a month at that point, after being accepted into the Big Hit Entertainment trainee program, and that noodle shop was the only place you could find that had pictures on the menu. At that point you could probably count on two hands the number of phrases you could say in Korean, so you’d resorted to nervously pointing at pictures on the menu to order your food- fortunately the older couple who ran the small eatery grew accustomed to seeing you late at night after long hours of practice and welcomed you despite the obvious language barrier. The night that you met Chan had been a particularly hard night, after 10 hours of dance and vocal practice with an additional 2 hour Korean lesson- you were feeling drained and at your wits end. It was probably around 2am at the time, and the shop was entirely empty save one tired, hardworking young man in the corner who was downing a large bowl of black bean noodles while working furiously on his computer. You didn’t pay each other any mind at first, but as you sat in front of your soup bowl with tears bubbling up in your eyes- feeling entirely alone and lost in the world- you’d felt a soft tap on your shoulder, only to look up and find the soft and sympathetic gaze of the strange young man as he extended a napkin in your direction. You’d gratefully accepted it and dried your eyes, trying to mutter through a somewhat cohesive sentence of gratitude in Korean before Chan had interjected- letting you know that he spoke English. Though it was already late when you met, it felt as though you talked for hours after that. He’d consoled you and encouraged you to keep going, despite how tough it was going to be. He’d given you his phone number at the end, after walking you back to your dorm, and told you that if you ever had time he’d like to see you again. That’s how it started and now 8 months later the two of you were closer than ever, despite both of your busy schedules. 

Standing backstage at the Mnet Countdown show, you took nervous breaths as a stylist fitted a mic headset against your face. You were finally debuting and, though you knew your time as a trainee was short compared to that of other idols (especially to compared to your boyfriend’s), it had felt like a lifetime. Looking around at your group members, you felt a small ounce of consolation knowing that you weren’t the only foreign member- there were 3 of you in total- but still you were prepared for the backlash you might face. You’d already accumulated a large fan following as trainee’s through rookie showcases, especially overseas, but the nerves in your stomach were still overwhelming. Just as you heard the MC’s announcing your group’s name and you prepared to take the stage, you felt a tap on your shoulder reminiscent of that night so many months ago when Chan had helped you out of your darkest moment.Turning quickly, your eyes met the loving gaze of your boyfriend as a small smile flickered across your face, spinning you around in his arms as he took in how good your stage costume looked. 

*blushing as you unintentionally breathed out a sigh of relief, something that had become a habit for you every time you saw Chan’s face*

“Yahh, what’re you doing here- we’re going on stage any second!”

*smiling as though he didn’t seem to care that you were short on time and his presence there at all was risky if any photographers happened to be near by*

“I don’t care, baby- you know I had to be here for this. God...look at you.”

*smiling shyly before turning away as you heard one of your member’s call your name and wave you over*

“I’ve gotta go, babe but...thank you for being here. Are you gonna stay and watch?”

*nodding as he patted your head lovingly, letting go of you so that you could join your other members*

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Y/N...I’m so proud of you.”

Minho: 

You’d been in Seoul for a little over a year when you met he man who would later become your boyfriend and, ironically enough, you met him on an idol survival show. Of course Minho wasn’t a contestant on Produce 101, but he was brought onto the show for a couple episodes as a guest judge towards the end of the reality show filming. He appeared as a judge for the last 3 episodes- when there were only a handful of trainees left- and you were among them. Though you hadn’t interacted a ton during the production of the show, the moment that sparked your initial crush was during a rehearsal leading up to the final episode where Minho was overseeing and choreographing the dance practice. You’d almost mastered the difficult and demanding choreo, but as you lept into the air for what felt like the 100th time that day you felt your ankle weaken underneath you and in an instant your body collapsed into a heap on the floor. As your fellow trainees and friend’s gasped, it was Minho who had been the first to run to your side- the look of genuine concern evident on his face. He’d offered to help you out of the studio, away from the cameras, and to the designated nurse a few doors down. In the quietude of the hallway, as the young man slipped his arm around your waist to balance you as you stumbled, you couldn’t help but feel your heart rate quicken. You were far from fluent in Korean but you conversation skills were passable after having lived and trained in the country for a year, so you muttered out a polite apology as you continued to lean on him for support. In that moment, he’d stopped you for a moment, turning his body to face you as he propped your back against the wall, causing a small gasp to escape your lips. He didn’t lean in when he spoke, keeping a professional distance between the two of you, but his voice was like honey and it almost made you wish that he had leaned in just a little. 

“Don’t apologize, Y/N...it’s my fault for pushing you too much during practice. I’ll take full responsibility.”

You shook your head, assuring him that you didn’t blame him and how sorry you were for taking up his time, to which he’d only smiled, helping you off the wall and towards the nurse’s door. Just as you were about to go inside and he was headed back into the practice room, he’d turned to you with that famous charismatic smile spread across his face. If his words hadn’t resonated with you so deeply, you almost would’ve not heard him over how focused you were on his ridiculously handsome features.

“Listen to the doctor, ok? Don’t give them a hard time just because you want to perform, you have to make sure you’re healed first...you have to win, Y/N, you deserve to win.” 

After Produce 101 had ended and you had placed in the top 3, earning yourself a spot in the nation’s next big group, all of the winning contestants along with the judges and producers were invited to a large celebratory dinner at the company. After the dinner had finished and you and the other winning trainees were getting ready to head back to your dorm, Minho had pulled you aside and congratulated you on winning. That same night he’d asked you out- and it was the first and possibly only time that you’d seen him truly nervous. You’d been a bit taken aback at the time but one date turned into 3 months and, despite your relationship being a secret from the public eye and having to work around both of your busy schedules, you could honestly say it was all worth it.

Your group went on to begin training and preparations for your big and highly anticipated debut, and when the time finally came all of the fans that had watched your journey from Produce 101 were more excited than ever. Minho had texted you to say that he’d be watching your debut stage and to wish you good luck- and despite knowing how busy he was you had to admit that it stung a little knowing he wouldn’t get to see you on the day of your debut. It wasn’t until you were backstage with your members, 10 of you in total, waiting to take the stage when you heard the voice of the special MC announcing your group- a voice you were all too familiar with. Your eyes widened as your members whispered to themselves, wondering if it really was the same man who’d been a guest judge on your survival show a handful of months earlier. A blush filled your cheeks as you tried to focus, not wanting to get your hopes up on the off chance that you were just hearing things, but as you entered the performance stage and took your place as you awaited the cues from the cameramen, you couldn’t help but smile at the MC in front of you- none other than your proud boyfriend staring back at you. 

“Everyone, please join me in welcoming the incredible new rookies on their debut- let’s show them a lot of love, ok?! Music, cue!”

It was only a flash of a smile that you caught before the music began and you refocused your attention on giving a flawless performance, but it was enough to give you the confidence boost you needed. After the show had finished and you were all on cloud 9 from your official debut performance, you searched backstage to find the man who’d given you so much confidence. You finally found him in his dressing room and the instant he saw you he’d light up, pulling you into a warm embrace despite the risk of cameras around. Laughing, you pushed him lightly as he only wrapped his arms around you tighter, shaking his head as the smile on his face only widened. 

“You did so well today, Jagiya.”

*blushing as you stared down at the floor, finally loosing his grasp on you as he took your hand in his*

“You didn’t tell me you’d be MCing, Minnie.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise, hopefully it wasn’t too much for you.”

*smiling as you shook your head, squeezing his hand that was intertwined with yours*

“It was perfect. Do you think I’ll do ok though?”

*giving you a confused look as he played haphazardly with your fingers*

“Why...because you’re a foreigner?”

*nodding slowly as you bit your lip, despite having debuts the pressures as a foreign idol were weighing on you*

“You’ve made it this far, Y/N...if you can do that, you can do anything. Besides, I’m right here by your side. I won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise.”

Changbin: 

You’d met Changbin after being in Seoul for only a handful of weeks, after being accepted into the trainee program at SM Entertainment, and you’d been taking private Korean lessons at a famous language center. It was a popular place for companies to send their idols and trainees who needed additional language lessons, usually for Korean and English classes, and it felt as though you basically lived there. When you weren’t training at the company you were at the language center doing everything you could to improve your Korean and, though you could feel yourself progressing, you also felt the immense pressures to push yourself even farther. It wasn’t until one evening when you were up late studying at the language center, that a young man had come up to you with several English textbooks in his arms. He was barely recognizable as an idol at that point, wearing glasses and an oversized hoodie with slight bags under his eyes from staying up so late, but his cautious smile was warm and inviting. He’d asked in somewhat broken English if you spoke the language, and when you responded in very broken Korean that you did, he’d sat down across from you in relief. 

“I am trying to..uhmm..get better with my pronounciation. I think my English is..mmm, not that good. Is it ok if I talk to you?” 

It had been the first time anyone had attempted to make conversation with you in English since you’d been in Seoul, and though you didn’t know him at all you felt compelled to help him. You flipped through your Korean textbook, showing it to him and asking him if he would help you in return, which he’d happily agreed to. The two of you had spent the rest of the night trying to make converse with your limited knowledge of the other’s language but, despite not having a fluent speaker between the two of you, you’d felt like the conversations came naturally and you almost didn’t want it to end. He’d walked you to the bus stop once the language center closed for the night, and had put his number in your phone so that you could meet back at the same place to practice the next day. it went that way for a month or two, meeting practically every night to study together- and you found that you picked up the language best when you were jut talking casually between the two of you. You got to know each other through the conversations you had, talking about anything from family and childhood stories to your current professions. You talked about what it was like to be a trainee and having Changbin as a someone you could confide in during those first couple months in Seoul became a huge source of motivation for you to keep going. The first date the two of you went on wasn’t even really a date, you’d just become so involved in your conversation that when the language center closed he’d suggested going to a convenient store across the street and getting food. It was the first time that you’d successfully ordered something in full Korean, and Changbin had been so proud of you that in the moment he’d pulled you into an embrace in the middle of the convenient store- making you blush. He’d apologized afterwards, stumbling over his words until finally he took a deep breath, admitting that he liked you (which he was able to do in fluent English). You’d responded in fluent, though probably still somewhat broken, Korean that you liked him as well- and the rest was history. That was two years ago and after all that time dedicated to practicing and rehearsing tirelessly- you’d managed to be selected for debut. 

When you’d told your boyfriend, he was almost more excited than you were. He was so filled with pride that you’d achieved everything you’d set out to do- but it wasn’t until the night of the performance as he watched from backstage that he felt tears pricking at the corners of eyes. It would be a mix of pride and nerves for Binnie, knowing that you were so talented and deserved all the support and love in the world, but also being worried that you’d receive hate in the industry for being a foreign idol. He knew you were strong, but he also knew himself well enough to know that watching someone receive any kind of negativity would absolutely crush him. He wouldn’t bring it up to you, you knew what you were getting yourself into and he trusted that you could handle yourself despite being in such a tough industry. More than anything he was so proud, watching your absolutely flawless performance on your debut stage filled his heart with a sense of admiration he’d never felt before, and as you ran backstage after your performance with the other members of your group- you spotted him in an instant. He smiled, pulling you aside as the other 5 members of your group playfully teased the two of you, giving you some space. 

“Did we do well, Binnie? You can be honest?”

*smiling as he cupped your face in his hands, staring at you in silence for a moment as he he shook his head*

‘it was perfect, baby....you were perfect.”

*lighting up you blushed slightly, prodding him further*

“Are you sure? You can say if it could’ve been better, I’ll work harder and I know there’s still so much I can do better I-”

*shaking his head as he pressed a thumb to your lips, interrupting you as he blinked back tears in his slightly misty eyes*

“Wahh, you see this, baby? Your performance was so good your boyfriend is gonna cry- isn’t that enough proof?”

Hyunjin: 

You’d been in Seoul working as a trainee at JYP Entertainment for a year and a half, after being recruited from an international audition. Though you’d never met any of the members of Stray Kids (or any other JYP artist for that matter), you were very familiar with who they were and you looked up to them a lot. It wasn’t until a particular dance showcase that JYP announced he’d have an additional person watching the performances with him. You hadn’t even processed that it was Hyunjin walking through the door until he was practically seated at the supervisor’s table- all you could do was stand frozen as your heart rate quickened and your palms grew damp. He introduced himself politely and said a few encouraging words before sitting back down and calling the first group of trainee’s forward to perform the choreography. You were in the third group and, by the time he got to your name the butterflies in your stomach had only gotten worse. When he read your name of the list he paused for a moment, recognizing that it was not a Korean name. He looked up, his eyes landing on you immediately as the obvious owner of the foreign name. He smiled softly, waving you forward and you had no choice but to nervously approach the table. All eyes were on you as he leaned towards you slightly to speak in a soft voice.

“It must be difficult, huh?” You didn’t want to think of the way your face must’ve flushed when he made eye contact with you, so you just nodded softly and turned your gaze to the floor. 

“Use it, ok? You’re always gonna stand out, but don’t let it be a bad thing. Just keep trying, you were accepted for a reason...” 

It was the first time somewhat within the company had addressed your nationality in a way that was entirely encouraging and supportive- and it gave you the confidence you so desperately needed to perform your best at the showcase. 

After the performance had ended you didn’t have an opportunity to thank Hyunjin for his kind words, but over the course of the next couple weeks you later found out that he’d been trying his best to find your schedule so he could run into you again. He convinced himself that it was just because he wanted to show you support since he imagined being a foreign trainee must be very difficult, but deep down he knew it was more than that. He was interested in you, and when he did finally manage to run into you at the practice studios late one night he took it as a sign that he had to at least try. He’d offered to run through some difficult choreography with you and, despite you insisting that you didn’t want to take up his time, he assured you that it was no trouble. The two of you stayed up practicing until the early hours of the morning- but it was by far the most fun you’d had since beginning your training and you were endlessly grateful for that. Just as the two of you had agreed to call it quits for the day and began packing up, he’d asked if you were allowed to have a cell phone. You’d told him that you did, since you were a foreigner you needed to have it for emergency contacts and translation apps, to which he just smiled. He asked if he could see you again, gesturing for you to give him your phone. When he returned it to you there was an additional contact in your phone book- under the name “Grandpa”. You laughed, giving him a quizzical look.

“It’s in case anyone searches through your phone- I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble because of me, Y/N...I-I probably shouldn’t even be talking to you, I know you’re not allowed to date anyone...but I wanna get to know you. I’m sorry if that’s too forward.”

Over the next handful of months you and Hyunjin became closer, mostly meeting late at night in the dance studio to practice and, though your language skills weren’t exactly fluent, you had enough conversational skills between the two of you to create a dialogue. It wasn’t perfect, the two of you didn’t have a proper date outside of the company building for the first several months that you were seeing each other, but it was enough. On your 6 month anniversary, sitting on the floor of the dimly lit practice room for what seemed like the millionth time, Hyunjin had stared at you with an expression on his face that you couldn’t quite place. 

“Promise me something, baby.” You’d agreed, giving him a slightly confused look as he scooted closer to you.

“Promise me that when you debut, you’ll let me take you out on a proper date.” You’d felt slightly embarrassed at the time, saying that you didn’t know if you’d ever debut and that he shouldn’t wait for you if he didn’t want to, but he’d only smiled, cupping your face with his hands and assuring you that’d wait as long as it took. 

A full year after that night in the dance studio- you’d finally been selected for debut. You were beyond excited and, though you knew it’d be tough being a foreigner, you also knew there’d be a lot of support for you from international fans. When you told your boyfriend, he was absolutely elated. That is, until you told him that your debut performance (which he’d been promising since you met that he would be there for) was on the same day as Stray Kid’s comeback performance. Despite both performing on Inkigayo, you were on completely stages recording at similar times which meant that Hyunjin couldn’t physically be there to watch your debut performance in person. The one saving grace, however, was that at the end of all the performances on the show that night- every artist was brought onto a central stage to film the closing scene and thank their fans for tuning in. You hadn’t noticed it at first, but as Hyunjin took the stage with his members, still slightly sweaty and dressed in his stage costume from his recent performance, he was also holding a bouquet of roses. He glanced in your direction just before the cameras started rolling, smiling brightly and giving you a small thumbs up. It wasn’t until after the cameras were rolling and Stray Kids had said their closing remarks, however, that Chan stepped forward to say one last thing. 

“We’d also like to congratulate JYP’s latest group on their debut- we look forward to working with you more! Fighting!” Despite Chan being the leader, it was Hynjin who stepped out from his place and walked over towards your group, the five of you looking between each other in slight confusion as Hyunjin walked directly up to you. Handing you the bouquet of roses, he smiled and gave a polite bow. You were shocked by his bold action, though you were the leader of your group you’d never anticipated him handing you flowers on national television. Nevertheless, you returned the polite bow, thanking him. 

*flashing you a knowing smile as your took the bouquet in your arms, trying your best not to blush while the cameras were still rolling*

“Congratulations on your debut, Y/N.” 

Jisung: 

When you first met Jisung, you weren’t even officially in Seoul yet. You’d just been recruited as an idol trainee at Cube Entertainment and were flying to South Korea to begin training. Your flight had a layover in Singapore where, coincidentally, Jisung also was after visiting some old friends at the international school he’d attended in western Malaysia. He was flying back to Seoul after taking a short vacation and, as it turned out, the two of you were on the same flight. You couldn’t speak a word of Korean outside of a few basic phrases, so when you heard the warm voice of a young man sitting down beside you speaking in English you felt a small sense of relief that you wouldn’t have to take out your pocket dictionary. 

“Excuse me, would it be ok if we closed the blinds...just while the plane’s taking off? It makes me a bit dizzy.” You’d looked up to meet his polite, apologetic gaze and for a moment you almost couldn’t think straight. He was one of the most handsome men you’d ever seen, but you collected yourself quickly and nodded, closing the blinds as Jisung thanked you. That had been your first interaction however, after a completely chance delay on the tarmac for an additional 3 hours, your conversation slowly expanded as you began simple conversations with one another. He’d asked you why you were travelling to Seoul alone, and when you’d told him that you were a trainee his face lit up- explaining that he also worked in the industry and that if you needed advice or help with anything to let him know. By the time your plane actually took off the ground it felt as though you’d made a real friend- his amiable and laid-back demeanor felt welcoming in a world where everything else was so new and uncertain to you and you’d appreciated that. After an additional 6 hours in the air, however, watching a movie together and drifting in and out of sleep against Jisung’s shoulder- you felt that you’d made more than just a good friend. It was a completely chance meeting, and you weren’t sure when you’d be able to see him again due to your busy schedules, but you’d both felt in that moment that there was something between you worth not giving up on.

When you finally landed in Seoul it was late at night and, fortunately, no photographers had been tipped off that Jisung would be there. He helped you load your bags into the taxi, breathing out a nervous sigh at the realization that if he didn’t say something now he might never see you again. He’d hoped that it would be a bit smoother in his head, but as soon as he saw you opening the door of the cab he’d blurted out a jumble of nervous words. 

“Y/N wait- listen I know you’ll be super busy and I’m always insanely busy too but I-I wanna see you again and I wanna keep talking to you because I-I think meeting you was really special and the best luck I’ve had in a while so maybe if-if it’s ok with you I could get your number?”

You felt a weight lifted off your shoulders at the realization that he felt it too, and you happily agreed. You hadn’t even arrived at the dorm when you received a text from Jisung apologizing for uncool he must’ve looked and promising that the next time he saw you he’d be more put-together. That had been your first meeting, and 3 years later you were still going strong. 

You worked ridiculously hard at training and studying Korean in those 3 years, supporting your boyfriend over every comeback, and when you were finally approved for debut in the latest group at Cube Jisung was unbelievably excited. Knowing that he could be there to support you and your members on your journey would make his heart fill with pride, and he had to admit the added bonus of you no longer being under a dating ban would make going on dates a lot easier. He knew you’d have a hard time being a foreigner in the industry, it had been hard enough as a trainee, but he’d also been with you long enough to know that you were strong enough to take on any challenge. 

When your debut stage finally came around, Jisung wouldn’t miss it for the world. His heart was practically beating out of his chest as he watched on the large monitor from the guest room backstage, his eyes becoming misty as he watched your effortlessly perfect performance. You were so incredible, and you were his. After your performance had finished and you’d come backstage with your members, it wouldn’t take Jisung long to wrap his arms around you and pull you aside, not paying any mind to all the people around you. You blushed as he pulled you towards him, sitting down near the back corner of the bustling room filled with tons of people all of whom were eager to congratulate you and your members on your debut. All you could focus on was Jisung, though, as he smiled sweetly with warm and pride-filled eyes.

“You did so well today, baby...you know that right? You did so so well.”

*blushing as he cupped your cheek in his hand, a small teasing smile playing on his lips*

“You’re an idol now, huh? Are you still gonna want to date me? There are gonna be a lot more guys asking you out from now on, you know.”

*rolling your eyes as you shoved him playfully, assuring him that he was the only guy you wanted to be with*

“I’m gonna hold you to that, super star.”

Felix: 

You’d met Felix while training in Seoul, after being accepted into Pledis Entertainment about two months earlier, at a gaming cafe of all places. You didn’t have much time as a trainee who was also struggling to learn the language, but when you could you tried your best to work late nights at the gaming cafe around the corner from your dorm in order to earn a bit of pocket change. It just so happened that Felix had agreed to play a match with a few old friends from Australia when his personal computer died- leaving him with no other option but to find a 24 hour gaming cafe. It’d started as only a one time visit for Felix, he hardly had time to drive the 15 minutes to a gaming cafe when he had his own computer at the dorm, but after seeing that you were the one behind the check-in counter he decided the 15 minute drive might not be such a horrible thing. You hadn’t paid him much attention the first time, you spent most of your time behind the counter studying your Korean textbooks and watching playback videos of the dance practices from earlier that week, but after a few hours of gaming as Felix was finally leaving the cafe (having been the only customer there in the first place) you glanced up. He was standing in front of you, bare faced and smiling as he brushed his fluffy, unkempt hair away from his face and adjusted the hood of his plain black jacket. 

“H-have a good night, sir.” You’d muttered in the best Korean you could muster at such a late hour, causing Felix to smile slightly as he raised a brow.

“How long have you been here? In Seoul, I mean.” When you gave him a confused look, surprised by his immediate switch into fluent English, he laughed slightly, apologizing for his straightforwardness. 

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m a foreigner too- I’m from Australia. Don’t worry, it get’s easier, I promise.” You smiled slightly, nodding as you glanced over at the textbook on the counter. Felix followed your gaze, his face brightening slightly as he pointed to the book. 

“Those books seem so childish, they really work though, I swear. I used the same ones.” You couldn’t place your finger on why exactly, but something about the stranger’s reassurance comforted you more than you’d known you needed.

“I’m Felix, by the way. What’s your name?” You’d replied with your name, taking his extended hand and shaking it softly as he smiled. 

“Will you be here tomorrow, Y/N?” You nodded and, though he hadn’t asked, you noticed yourself telling him every night that you worked at the cafe. You knew it was a stretch, and that your interest in him must have been so obvious from the way you told a complete stranger your work schedule unprompted, but you almost hoped that maybe he’d come see you again. He did, of course, and he felt a little better about his obvious tactics at trying to get to know you better by the fact that you also seemed interested in him. One visit to the cafe turned into several, always late at night and almost always when hardly no one else was at the shop. After a few weeks of his frequent visits, Felix stopped pretending that he was coming there to even use the computers, instead opting to sit across from you at the counter and just have conversations with you. They were mostly in English, but he also did his best to help you with your Korean and for that you were endlessly grateful. Though you knew who he was, his face was fairly famous across Korea after all, you never brought it up because it never came up in conversation. It didn’t seem to be something Felix had any interest in talking about, instead you spent most of your time talking about your dreams, things you wanted in life, the biggest abstract concepts and those most minute details. Mostly you just found ways to make each other laugh, and though neither one of you realized it at the time you were an escape for each other. In the same way that Felix hadn’t discussed his work with you, you hadn’t discussed your real reason for being in Seoul with him. You’d told him that you were studying Korean and that you worked part time at the gaming cafe, but it never seemed relevant to bring up the fact that first and foremost you were a trainee. It wasn’t that you’d intentionally hid it from him, if he’d asked you directly you would’ve told him, but there was something innocent and nice about discussing other things besides just your everyday activities and lines of work. it almost felt like a movie.

In fact, the night that Felix asked you out properly (to grab noodles from the convenient store across the street), he still didn’t know that you were a trainee. He didn’t know for a few months after that either- you’d only told him when it came up in conversation as he was driving you somewhere (this time in the light of day) and he’d asked where to drop you off. You’d casually replied, telling him Pledis Entertainment, causing your boyfriend to laugh and give you the strangest look. 

“Pledis? Yahh- Y/N! Are you not telling me something?” Fortunately your light-hearted boyfriend had found the humor in the situation, making you promise to not keep any big information from him like that and formally apologizing for also not talking about his work in the same way. It was only 6 months after that conversation that you were approved for debut.

Though Felix hadn’t been there for a good portion of your time as a training knowingly, he’d been there for you in the way you needed most. When your debut stage finally arrived he’d asked you if you wanted him to come, seeing as how he’d missed so much of your trainee experience. In all honesty you felt like your nerves might be too high if he were there and you didn’t want him to go out of his way, so instead you compromised and promised you could watch the debut stage together the next day when it aired. He’d agreed, meeting up with you at the cafe where you’d met that fateful evening several months ago and warmly pulling you into an embrace. After watching the stage performance on one of the computers several times over and pausing on every close up of your face to shower you with compliments, he turned to you with bright eyes and a wide grin plastered on his face. 

“Babe..just- wahhh....Wow. Oh my gosh.”

*giggling as you smacked him lightly, insisting that he was just hyping you up as he continued to tease you*

“My (girlfriend/boyfriend) is a celebrity, huh? Wahh, that makes me so cool. And you’re so talented too...Will you let me come to your next performance, baby? I’ve missed so much already, I really wanna watch you perform this live.”

Seungmin: 

You’d been a trainee at KQ Entertainment for just under 3 years when you met your soon-to-be boyfriend. You’d just walked into a small coffee shop located on the outskirts of Seoul after a long day of training in hopes of getting something to warm you up. Seungmin also happened to be there, though not for the reasons one might think. He was dressed in full barista attire, standing calmly behind the counter with his phone in his hand as he snapped a few pictures of himself. A few crew members were staggered about the coffee shop, along with a few elderly customers who didn’t see to mind the intrusion. He was there taking photos for a comeback concept- but as you entered the shop and immediately focused your attention on the menu, you hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary about the young, handsome man behind the counter. 

“Can I get a latte please, and also maybe one of those muffins?” You gestured towards the baked goods on display, not paying much attention to face staring back at you with a small smile flickering across his lips. Just as one of the crew members was about to step in and assure you that the man you were talking to was, in fact, not a qualified barista in any sense- Seungmin waved them off. He nodded, placing your muffin in a small box and handing it to you, his heartbeat a little faster than he would like to admit. Though your eyes hadn’t met yet, he was looking directly at you- and something about you was alluring to him. He blushed slightly as he tried desperately to think of what might go in a latte, ultimately resorting to pressing several different buttons on machines that he had no idea how to work. Coffee began pouring out of every orifice of the machine, and loud whirring noises let him know that whatever he’d done it was horribly wrong. He gasped, cursing under his breath as the crew rushed in to help him. Only then had you looked up, eyes wide at the odd spectacle of several grown men trying to subdue a rogue coffee machine. Stifling a laugh, you got Seungmin’s attention and pointed towards the power cord, which he then hastily unplugged. The whirring came to a halt and half-brewed coffee stopped spewing- and in an instant the two of you were chuckling to yourselves. The crew members left to get cleaned up, leaving the two of you alone for a moment as you looked at the man who’s crisp white button up was now covered in coffee stains. Smiling softly, he apologized for the commotion, admitting that he didn’t actually work there. 

“I’m here for a..uhm, a photoshoot...thing. I, I don’t know the first thing about coffee.” You’d laughed gently in response, assuring him that it was ok. 

“Hmm, can you make tea?” Butterflies rose in his stomach when you looked at him with a playful smile, and he’d nodded, locating the hot water and pouring some into the cutest mug he could find. Placing the small bag of herbs into the water, he handed you the mug and warned you that it was hot. You’d thanked him, paying for your beverage and taking a seat near the back of the cafe. Only a few minutes had passed before you were joined by the same smiling man, asking if he could sit with you and- though you didn’t know the first thing about him- you’d agreed. Maybe it was his trustworthy eyes or the fact that you couldn’t supress the heat that rose to your cheeks whenever he smiled at you- whatever it was something made you feel compelled to keep his company. You talked for a while, though it wasn’t long before the crew members came back and started rushing Seungmin out of the shop. He apologized for having to leave so suddenly, and as you stood to watch him go you’d called out to him.

“W-wait..I know you’re probably way too busy but- well...” You didn’t have the nerves to ask if you could see him again, though you desperately wanted to. He read the emotions on your face, smiling as he was guided out of the shop by the staff. Motioning towards your mug of tea, he gave you a thumbs up and just before he was out the door he gestured for you to call him. Then, in a flash, he was gone. You stared down quizzically at the mug of tea he’d prepared for you, and after a moment of staring at it blankly you noticed the small tag on the end of the tea bag had small writing scribbled on the backside. You couldn’t help the ear-to-ear grin that formed on your face when you realized that it was a phone number. 

From the inception of your relationship with Seungmin, things had been very secretive and under-wraps. You met when you could, always late at night and in the oddest places possible to avoid cameras, especially since you were still a trainee and technically under a dating ban. On top of that, the tabloids would have a field day if Seungmin was spotted with not only a trainee, but a foreign trainee. It had only been a few days after you’d been approved for debut, one year after that fateful night in the coffee shop, that you and Seungmin were caught by one of the managers at KQ Entertainment. You’d only been having a simple meal together, but of course the two of you were in a mountain of trouble. Because you’d technically already been approved for debut they were a bit more lenient with you, but nevertheless your phone was temporarily confiscated and the two of you had to agree not to let your relationship get caught by photographers or anyone else outside the company. In the few weeks preparing for your groups debut you weren’t allowed to go anywhere without supervision and Seungmin was no longer invited to your debut stage. That being said, Seungmin had a way of getting what he wanted- and there was nothing that he wanted more than to see all of your hard work come to fruition. 

The day of the debut, you and your members were already on edge, rehearsing in your dressing room over and over again as giddy nerves bubbled up on your stomach. You wished that your boyfriend could be there with you, as he always knew exactly what to say to calm your nerves, but you knew he’d be thinking of you and that was enough. Your performance, of course, went smoothly without a single hitch, and you almost didn’t want to leave the cheering audience as you and your members took a bow, exiting the stage. It wasn’t until you wer backstage, however, that one of the assistants came up to you with a look of urgency on her face. 

“Y/N? This is for you.” Handing you a small coffee cup, you gave the woman a confused look. Asking who ti was from, the woman only shrugged, stating that she only knew it was supposed to go to you and not to let anyone else have it. You frowned, definitely hesitant to accept a drink from a stranger. In fact, you’d almost thrown it away until you saw small scribbled handwriting on the side of the cup- trying your best to read it without drawing attention to yourself. 

3rd floor dressing room A16, down the hall on the right. 

Love, your favorite barista

Smiling, you clutched the cup to your chest, letting one of your members know that you were going to use the restroom as you quickly made a dash for the back stairs. When you made it to the mostly quiet 3rd floor and found the correct dressing room, you opened the door to see a completely empty room, save your boyfriend smiling from ear to ear. He ran up to you, pulling you into a bear hug and placing his hand over your head as he stroked your hair. You could tell from his casual attire that he’d tried really hard to get into the building without being noticed, teasing him slightly as you adjusted the hat on his head. 

“You did all this just to see me after the performance?” 

*nodding as he smiled widely, blushing slightly at his bold move that was definitely putting both of you at risk for getting in trouble if anyone found out*

“I have my ways, Jagi- I had to see you. On of the producers let me watch from the soundroom...you did so well today!” 

*humbling deflecting his compliment, assuring him that it was a group effort as he stepped closer to you, his bright smile never wavering*

“Baby, give yourself credit, hmm? You were amazing out there. I know how hard it’s been for you, but everything was perfect.” 

“You mean it, Seungminnie?” 

*nodding and flashing you a wide smile to assure you that he was being serious*

“I mean it, Y/N...now aren’t you proud of me for sneaking in here?”

Jeongin: 

You met Jeongin after training at P-Nation Entertainment for a little over a year and a half and, though your Korean skills were still developing you had a decent grasp on the language and managed to get by fairly well. Besides being a trainee at P-Nation you were also a backup dancer for some of your label’s big name solo artists and, on the particular occasion where you met Jeongin, you were backup dancing for Hyuna. The solo star had just comeback with her latest single and was performing it on Mnet, coincidentally the same day that Stray Kids was also promoting a comeback on the same show. You’d been in the dancer’s dressing room amongst a sea of other dancers for various artists performing on the show that day- all of you in a variety of different costumes and aesthetics. Being that you were a backup dancer for Hyuna (who is famously known for her sleek and sexy concepts on stage), your garment was a little on the revealing and tight side. It was flattering, of course, but nevertheless it was a little out of your comfort zone. You had just finished getting ready and were standing in the hallway of the backstage area as you waited for the other dancers- when several idols began walking past. You could feel their eyes on you as they passed by, making you slightly uncomfortable as you tried your best to place your arms over your body. You tried to adjust the fabric so that it would cover you a bit more, but it was no use. You didn’t mind it on stage because that was part of the job, but just standing still with stranger’s eyes on you made you feel a bit embarrassed. It wasn’t until you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder that you pulled your gaze away from the floor, looking up to see a young man with a sympathetic smile and warm eyes in front of you. He was clearly dressed and ready to perform, a mic pack was already attached to him and his hair was perfectly styled, yet he was extending his arm towards you with a jacket in hand. You gave him a quizzical look and he just smiled bashfully. 

“Oh, um..I’m sorry. I saw you standing here and you look a bit, um, uncomfortable? You can wear this if you like.” He gestured again to the oversized leather jacket in his hand that had clearly been a part of his stage costume just moments earlier. You smiled softly, feeling heat rise in your cheeks but this time in a positive way. Shaking your head, you insisted that you shouldn’t accept the jacket when he was supposed to wear it on stage, but he persisted. 

“No, it’s fine really! It’s too heavy to perform in anyway. Just wear it until you have to go on stage, you’re a dancer right?” You’d nodded, telling him that you were going on stage shortly for Hyuna’s comeback. He laughed slightly and nodded his head, though there was something you really appreciated about the fact that his gaze never drifted below your eye level. 

“That explains the costume. Here, wear the jacket until you have to go on stage. You can return it to me at the end of the show, deal?” You’d hesitanttly agreed to the kind stranger’s proposal, putting the large jacket on and immediately feeling more comfortable. You thanked him and he waved it off casually, leaving to get ready for his own performance. After the show when you returned the jacket to him, he admitted that it looked much better on you and that he’d hoped you would keep it. When you insisted that you couldn’t dream of keeping a stranger’s jacket he’d just grinned from ear-to-ear and, though his nerves were bubbling up inside him, he kept a cool and collection disposition when he replied, 

“Hmm, maybe we don’t have to be strangers then.” He apologized almost immediately afterwards for the bold line, but when he saw the way it made your face light up he couldn’t help but push it one step farther, asking in a slightly more bashful tone if you’d like to get lunch sometime. You’d agreed, and the rest was history.

A year later, P-Nation Entertainment announced it’s first group was scheduled to debut, and you were among the members. Jeongin would be so incredibly proud of you, feeling an array of emotions at the fact that his (girlfriend/boyfriend) was finally debuting. Dating in secret over the past year had been especially difficult for Jeongin, since he knew that if you were caught it would especially risk your career since you hadn’t debuted yet- and on top of that he’d hate hearing the comments you received for being a foreign idol trainee. Though there was a lot of support as well, Jeongin desperately wanted to speak up publicly and shame those who had negative comments to say towards you, but he couldn’t when your relationship was a secret. The night of your debut, as Jeongin watched from backstage in a private viewing room, he knew in his heart that you were more than just someone special to him. He’d wanted to be someone who could protect from the moment he met you and gave you his jacket and, despite any criticism the two of you might face, he wanted to be that person for you publicly. After your debut as Jeongin pulled you into a warm embrace, showering you with praise for your incredible performance, he took a deep breath, whispering softly as he took your hand in his.

“Jagi...I-I wanna be your boyfriend, publicly. For the whole world to see.” When you gave him a confused expression, he’d explain.

“Not right now, I know you only just debuted...but someday. When I’m worthy of it.” 

*blushing softly as you insisted that he was by no means unworthy of being your boyfriend*

“Innie you know I’d love that...but it’s just so hard to say with something like that, what if people don’t like us together or-”

*shaking his head as a smile rose on his cheeks, interjecting*

“When we win Album of the Year. How about that, hmm Y/N? Once...once Stray Kids has won album of the year...and once your group has won Rookie of the Year. How does that sound?” You’d laughed at the time, feeling that awards were still so far off in the future for your newly debuted group, but nevertheless you agreed. 

A mere six months later, taking the stage with your 6 other members at the MAMA’s to accept your very first Rookie of the Year award, you felt your heartbeat quicken and butterflies rise in your stomach as you looked out of the crowd as they applauded. You caught your boyfriend’s eyes as he proudly stared up at you. It wasn’t even an hour later that Stray Kids took the stage to accept their 3rd and most prestigious award of the night- Album of the Year. As each member gave a short acceptance speech of gratitude and love, Jeongin expressed much appreciation towards his fans, his family and his members. He hadn’t told you that he’d received permission from the company, so despite your promise 6 months earlier you weren’t expecting anything grand during his speech. That’s why it took you by surprise almost as much as the rest of the audience, when he called out your name. 

“Uhm, actually- there is one more person I’d like to thank. (She’s/He’s) helped me through so much over the past year and a half, and I’m very lucky to have (her/him) in my life. Truthfully, I-I don’t know if I’m good enough for (her/him)...but I promised this person that if we won Album of the Year we would stop hiding our relationship, so thank you Stay’s for making this dream of mine come true. And Y/N...thank you for being such a good (girlfriend/boyfriend)- congratulations on Rookie of the Year, Jagiya.”

[kurt-nightcrawler]

Decay: part II

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐈𝐈 𝐱 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Warnings: this talks about alcoholism, implications of sex, mentions of technical assault (Jessie kissed Warren while he was drunk and she made him think she was Mother Nature!), also we get into Warren’s backstory a bit. I’m not trying to make anyone out to be a villain, but the story overall is much more upsetting than usual.

Word Count: 5.4K

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy! Not exactly the mood needed right now— I am very sorry, but I’m working on a much happier piece for Mother Nature and Warren! I’ll try to have it out before the end of the month!

Part 1 if you need a refresher!

Warren didn’t want to tell anyone about what happened. He wanted to pretend it never happened. To just hole up the memory of the night deep into his mind. He always hid and pushed away trauma. Why should this be any different?

His friends wanted to get Alex or maybe even Charles involved, but he protested. 

“It’s my word against her’s.” 

“Yeah, but everyone’s going to support you, and Jean and Charles are telepathic—”

“What can I really do? Press charges? If I do that then and use Jean or Charles to back me up, it becomes a whole mutant’s rights issue. It’s not worth it.” 

(Y/N) hated seeing Warren look so defeated. Jessie going about Xavier’s unscathed by everyone who wasn’t close with Warren, and him thinking it was his fault. 

(Y/N) had said she must have eaten something bad at the Halloween party, causing her to feel sick and sprout poison ivy. Also why all the plants died. 

If Hank and Charles could tell she was lying, they didn’t say anything. 

Rumors started amongst students about what had happened at the party— if Warren had actually cheated on (Y/N), if he did something to Jessie, or if Jessie forced herself onto him. 

Warren didn’t like the rumors involving (Y/N) in the mess. He didn’t like the stares and whispers they got when people saw them together. 

“Poor girl, staying with him even after he cheated.”

“Maybe she’s too naive to realize.”

“I knew they’d never work out— (Y/N)’s too good for him.”

“I bet he forced her into going out with him.” 

“I mean… he’s not ugly—”

“Yeah, but he’s not a good person and (Y/N) is!”

It made him sick to his stomach. Warren didn’t force her into anything— and he thought he had changed, that people were finally trusting him. 

Guess he was wrong.

—

Warren wasn’t even paying attention in his environmental sciences class. They were watching a video on how a plant species can be invasive, required to take notes on it. 

Warren was texting (Y/N), phone brightness turned down all the way. He just wanted to go to bed for a while and ignore the real world.

When the bell rang, dismissing students, Alex told everyone they’d finish the video, next class. 

Warren got up to leave, but Alex stopped him. 

“You doing alright?” 

“Uh, yeah.” He lied. “I’m not in trouble am I?” 

Alex hesitated to answer. 

“No.”

Warren nodded, noticeably nervous. 

“There’s a rumor going around saying you assaulted Jessie Rowe.”

Warren’s heart fell into his stomach. “I didn’t.”

“Okay… But something happened, didn’t it?” 

Warren didn’t respond.

“Warren, you have to tell me what happened.” 

“I got tipsy and she kissed me. I thought she was (Y/N), but then (Y/N) walked in and Jessie tried to act like I tried to kiss her.”

 Warren’s eyes were pleading— pleading for Alex to not get mad at him for drinking, or mad at him for not speaking sooner. 

“Um, no one got hurt, and now there’s just a rumor going around, so you can like, give me detention for drinking or whatever it’s fine—”

 “I’m going to have to tell Professor Xavier,” Alex told him. 

“Please don’t tell him I was drinking! I can’t— I won’t—”

Alex could see the desperation in his eyes. Warren had nowhere else to go. He, like many other students, depended on Xaiver’s entirely.  

“You’re a good kid Warren— you’ve opened up to others, you were sober for almost six months, you have a good group of friends and even a girlfriend— Charles isn’t going to punish you. I just don’t want you to spiral down and lose all the progress you’ve made…” 

“I just,” Warren rubbed his eyes. “Don’t wanna make a big deal about it. I’d rather it just blows over. Everyone will eventually forget about it anyway.” 

“Are you aware of the rumors involving (Y/N)?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay, so, this involves her and Jessie. I know—” 

Alex and Warren turned their heads to the door. Someone was opening it. 

(Y/N) stepped inside. Warren hadn’t shown up to the library during their shared free period like he said he would, so she was worried about him. Plus, he hadn’t been doing too well since the Halloween party…. Neither of them had been. 

Her eyes were pink and purple— she was full of worry for her boyfriend. 

“Oh!” She gaped, soon as she saw Warren and Alex sitting at his desk, in the middle of what looked like an important conversation. 

“Sorry, am I interrupting?” She asked. 

“No. You can stay.” Warren told her. (Y/N) dragged a chair over and sat next to him.

“Right, as I was saying, Charles isn’t going to expel you, but he might want to make a police report. I’m not sure what good it will do, but—”

“I don’t want to. It’s not going to do anything but cause problems.” 

(Y/N) was immensely confused. She had no idea what they were talking about. 

“We’re gonna talk to Jessie, maybe a few of your friends, and knowing Charles, he won’t expel either of you. We’ll do everything we can to get the rumors to stop…” 

Oh! It finally clicked in her mind. 

It was about the party. 

“Okay… Thank— thank you, Alex.” 

“Yeah, we should go to Charles’s office— what class do you guys have next?” 

“I have lunch.”

“AP art.”

“That’s… Ms. Burnwood, right, (Y/N)?” 

She nodded.  

“I’ll make sure your absence is excused.” 

“Thanks.”

Alex took them up to Charles’s office. Warren then explained everything that happened, while trying to not get his friends in trouble for also drinking. 

Jessie was brought up to Charles’s office and questioned. She caved pretty easily, with (Y/N) glaring at her the whole time, and amid their telepathic principal, lying wouldn’t do her any good. 

Jessie was “grounded”— she couldn’t leave campus during the semester until after Thanksgiving break— she was also to stop encouraging the rumors, and had to talk with one of the school counselors once a week until they deemed it no longer necessary. Jessie’s parents weren’t in the picture, so notifying them wouldn’t do any good. 

Warren’s punishment was less severe, he couldn’t be out later than nine on weekends, (just until Thanksgiving break) and he was required to go to group therapy to help him deal with his former alcoholism and past traumas, for the rest of the school year.  

—

“You don’t have to tell me what goes on at group therapy.” (Y/N) told him. 

“I know.” 

“You don’t have to tell anyone.” 

Warren smiled a little, “I know.” 

“Okay…” (Y/N) kisses his cheek. 

Warren wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I hope it goes well… it should.” 

(Y/N) nodded, “Yeah… Here,” Her hand was in a fist. When she opened it, she revealed a daisy and a four-leaf clover. 

“You don’t really need luck or anything but, um, I thought, you know—“ 

Warren accepted the small gift, taking it from her hand. “Thanks, baby. I love it.” 

—

Group therapy was awkward. Warren hated it. He knew it would be good to talk about… well, everything, probably, but he had a hard time opening up to total strangers. 

“Alright, in case you’re new or don’t remember, my name is Allison… We have a new member with us today, he’s going to be with us for a while.” Allison looked at Warren. “Why don’t you introduce yourself?”

“Okay… Um, my name is Warren.”  

Everyone replied with, “Hi, Warren.” 

“And um, I’m a mutant.” 

Allison smiled, “That’s great! Do you go flying a lot? 

“Uh, yeah.”

“What kind of metal are your wings made of?” A girl with washed-out blue hair asked.

“Titanium, I think.” 

“Well, Warren, welcome to the group,” Allison interjected, trying to steer the conversation elsewhere. “Now, we’re going to do an ice breaker of sorts, and then just have like, regular conversation. We can all go around and say our favorite color and why.” 

Warren blinked. He didn’t— he didn’t have a favorite color. 

“And don’t say you don’t have a favorite color. If you can’t pick a favorite, choose one you hate the least… We can start with Trey.” 

Warren thought of color options—

Black?  No. Black wasn't his favorite, despite being 95% of his wardrobe. It absorbed the most light, helping him blend in with the darkness and look tough, something he needed in Germany. 

Blue— The color of Kurt— his roommate and friend, who he tried to kill. Twice. Something he still felt remorse over. And Apocalypse. The man who gave him the metal wings and tattoos, forcing him to aid in mass destruction, only to leave him for dead when he was no longer useful.

Red— the color of Alex’s plasma beams. And how the Horsemen were a result in him almost dying.

White and Silver— the colors of his wings. Past and present. How each reflected hardships from Warren’s life. How he hated them and a child and almost resorted back to that self-deprecation when they shifted into metal and the consequences finally sank in. 

But what about green? The color of healthy plants that thrive. The color of (Y/N)’s eyes when she’s happy.

Warren liked the color, despite (Y/N)’s eyes rarely being green around him. However, it didn’t mean she was unhappy with him.

Her eyes were pink around him. A way of saying “I love you” without actually saying it. The pink meant she cared about him more than most people— that she trusted him, accepted him for who he was despite his past, and that she would be there for him when he needed her. 

Not many people could say they would do those things for Warren, or that they had.

His father cared more about the family name and how his son couldn’t possibly be a freak. His mother didn’t want his wings to tarnish her image, and while she was still his mother, she left him on his own most of the time. 

And how all his past relationships and flings— they didn’t have much meaning. There was never any real affection behind them. They saw the cage fighting king and wanted a piece of that. 

(Y/N) looked past all of that. She saw how he responded to what life threw at him. She saw the tough guy act, the big softie, the broken boy who ran away in fear, the man who thought he wasn’t good enough— she brought out his good side, making him realize he deserved happiness, love, and a home, that when you hit rock bottom, you can only go up from there. 

He decided pink was his favorite color, because it showed someone cared for him in ways he wasn’t used to. He would do anything to keep it around forever.

“Warren, what’s your favorite color?” 

“Pink.” 

He got a few funny looks. They were probably expecting him to say black, based on his general aesthetic. 

“And why is that?”

“Um, it’s my girlfriend’s eye color… she’s also a mutant.” 

Allison smiled, “That’s very sweet.” 

She moved on to the next person, “Rose, what’s your favorite color?” 

She said, “Green.” But Warren wasn’t paying attention to why. 

The ice breaker eventually ended, and Allison shifted the discussion to other things. 

“Now Warren, since you’re new, usually new members spend most of their first meeting talking about themselves. Just so we can get to know you and whatnot.”

“Okay… um… anything specific you want to know?” 

“Why don’t you start from the beginning?” 

“Okay… So, I was born into a really small family. Just me, my mom, my father, and his brother. I don’t really know what happened to my grandparents. I never asked... 

When I was three we moved from Westminster to Centerport.”

“Where’s that located?”

“Oh, uh, Westminster’s close to London.” 

Allison looked impressed. 

“I went to a private all-boys school when I was little. I don’t remember the name of it though.” 

“Were you born with your wings?” Allison asked.

“No.” Warren responded. “They started to grow when I was eleven… I was terrified. I spent almost every day trying to rip them out… but once all the feathers are gone, you’re left with nothing but bone. It hurt like hell, but I used a pocket knife and a razor to try and cut them or at least file the bone down.” 

“It wasn’t hard… but it hurt a lot. I spent so much time worrying about my wings and if people would discover them, that I started to fall behind in school… I wasn’t like failing or anything, I had access to all kinds of tutors and everything, but my parents quickly found out I was falling behind. My father was barely aware, telling my mom to ‘deal with it.’ She tried her best, but I was so scared of them discovering my wings…”

   Warren sighed, “My parents had a beach house in Italy, and we were supposed to go there for my fall break. I was so terrified. I couldn’t go swimming, they’d see my wings… But I couldn’t find a way out of the trip. I was twelve at the time and my mom… She saw my back when I came out of the shower...”   

“She screamed, and my father came running to us. When he saw my back, he was disgusted. The look on his face was drilled into my skull for years. And it wasn’t even that bad, they were just growing back after being cut, so they weren’t even that big… but I just remember how scared my mom was, and how disgusted my father was… I just started crying and apologizing, but it didn’t do anything.” 

“We left our trip four days early and I was pulled out of school. My parents decided to homeschool me, which basically meant, cut all contact with everyone from school and have a few tutors come to the house.” 

“Did you have contact with anyone outside of your home?”

“I saw some family friends, and one or two kids of my parent’s friends… my parents hired countless doctors and all kinds of people, doing tests on me, trying to find a “cure”. Every time they failed my parents just got more upset— I was becoming a waste of time and money. They were becoming more distant and cold, wrapping themselves up in their work, and I was locked up.”

“What happened to your wings?”

“My mom said the scars they would leave were ugly, but I was forced to let them grow out.” 

“My parents were arguing a lot, always sad or angry… mostly because of my wings… I was getting tired, tired of hiding, tired of the arguing, I wanted it all to stop…”

“Can you please stop?” Warren thought he was going to cry. 

His father glared at him, disgusted by the wings, and how his son was on the verge of tears. 

Warren could hear his parents arguing from down the hall. That’s all they seemed to do when they were home— fight. 

Warren blamed himself. If he was just normal. If he didn’t have those damn wings!

He wanted them to stop. He’d do anything to make them stop. 

Warren thought about getting on to the roof and jumping. Not even flying down, just falling to his end. His end of suffering, and his loveless, lonely existence. 

“Are you going to do it?” 

Warren looked over his shoulder to find his father standing behind him. Watching him peer out the highest window in the house. 

“No! I— I’m sorry! I wasn’t—”

His father scoffed. “Did I raise a coward?”

Warren couldn’t look him in the eyes. “No sir.”

“I’ve scheduled for you to have spinal surgery next week. Your doctor is coming to prep and evaluate you for it. This surgery should fix you.”

Warren’s eyes were closed, trying not to imagine the pain, trying to not cry in front of his father. 

“Or you can fall out the window… in a freak accident.” 

“So I jumped out the window. I didn’t fall to my death as he had hoped, but I flew. I flew far away. I flew across the Atlantic for a few hours before I started to get tired. I spotted a ship and I got close. It was a fishing boat, a large one. The crew let me stay for the night until they went back to land… After that, I flew from São Miguel to Cascais. From there I just kind of fucked around Europe.” 

Warren sighed. Allison told him to take all the time he needed and he could stop if he wanted for the day. Let someone else talk. 

Warren nodded and kept quiet for the rest of the meeting. 

—

Alex picked him up when the meeting ended. Alex didn’t ask about the meeting. It wasn’t his business and he knew Warren would talk when he was ready. 

“Where do the others think I went?” Warren asked. 

“Training. They’re busy anyway, most didn’t notice you were gone.” 

Warren silently nodded. 

Alex pulled into Xavier’s garage, parking and letting Warren slip out and go up to his room. 

Warren kicked his shoes off and laid on his bed, putting in his earbuds and playing some soft songs. 

(Y/N) was heading up to Warren’s room to use his shower. She was covered in paint, for she helped clean up after the fourth graders used the art room. 

(Y/N) knocked on the door, making sure no one was there before she entered. 

Warren didn’t hear her and (Y/N) almost didn’t notice him laying on the bed. When she did, however, her entire demeanor changed. 

“Hi, Angel!” She went over to practically smother him in light kisses. 

Warren pulled out his earbuds and smiled. “Hi, Flower.”

“When did you get home?” She asked, scooting over to the open side of the bed. 

“Like ten minutes ago. What have you been up to?” 

“I got paint all over me,” (Y/N) frowned. “I was going to take a shower and wash it off.” 

“You can do that. I was just kind of laying here.” 

(Y/N) bit her lip, unsure of how to handle the situation. 

“If you disassociate your whole day will feel off. You should take a nice relaxing shower with me, instead.” 

Warren chuckled. 

“Not like that, Bird brain!” She exclaimed. “We can use one of my lush bath bombs and my rose-scented exfoliator.” 

“Are you saying I smell?” Warren joked. 

“Eh,” (Y/N) shrugged before slipping her bra off and throwing it in the hamper. 

Warren scoffed and wrapped his arms around (Y/N), peppering her neck in kisses. “How dare you!” He teased. 

“Ah!” (Y/N) laughed. Warren’s lips on her neck tickled her skin. “That’s why I’m going to bathe.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll join you.” 

(Y/N) hummed in victory, wiggling out of Warren’s grip, and headed into the bathroom to grab her stuff. 

The last time she used the girls’ communal showers was before they were even dating. (Y/N)’s toothbrush made its way into Warren and Kurt’s bathroom, then her shampoo and conditioner, and then eventually most of all her other hygiene products. 

(Y/N) set her soap and other things on the edge of the tub and drew up warm water, filling the bathtub up about halfway. 

She sprinkled in rose petals and got Warren into the bathroom. They both stripped off their clothes and stepped in the tub. A bit difficult, for Warren had to fold his wings back and get in first, with (Y/N) practically sitting in his lap, face to face, but they made do. 

(Y/N) dropped an orange bath bomb in the water and grabbed her jar of exfoliating scrub, rubbing it on her arms and legs to help remove the paint. 

Warren closed his eyes and rested his chin on her shoulder. 

“How’d it go today?” (Y/N) asked as she grabbed a bar of soap and rubbed it onto her skin. 

He didn’t respond. 

“I’m sorry…” She murmured. 

“Don’t apologize. It wasn’t terrible… I talked a little bit about my parents.” 

(Y/N) nodded as she applied her rose exfoliator onto Warren’s skin. 

“I’m really sorry…” Warren let out. He sounded as if he was on the verge of tears. 

“Baby,” (Y/N) looked into his eyes. “it’s okay.” 

“I— I just—“ Warren hiccuped, letting out a choked sob and releasing some tears from his eyes. 

(Y/N) rubbed his back, avoiding the tender spot around his wings, whispering, “Let it out, it’s okay, Angel.” 

Warren silently cried into (Y/N)‘s shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him in comfort. The emotions he felt almost made him sick— love and affection— and a lot of it too. He couldn’t remember a time before when he felt like that. He never wanted to leave (Y/N)‘s embrace. 

Warren lifted his head up and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“Sorry— um—“ 

“It’s okay.” (Y/N) cupped his face in her hands, leaving a kiss on each cheek. “Want me to wash your hair?” 

Warren nodded. 

“C’mere—” (Y/N) grabbed the shampoo from the bathtub ledge, pouring some in her hands, and then lathering it into Warren’s mop of curls. 

Her hands gently massaging his scalp felt like a touch of heaven to Warren. He didn’t want to cry again, but he couldn’t help himself.  (Y/N) was heartbroken at her boyfriend’s demeanor, but it was good he was letting it all out.  

She finished washing his hair and drained the tub— them both getting out— Warren holding onto (Y/N) as she gently dried them both off. 

“Thank you, He mumbled.

“Of course, Baby…”   

—

Most of their dates shifted to either being at the mansion or during the day. Warren felt bad, having to limit things for them, but (Y/N) didn’t care. 

“We can do more stuff during the day… And at night all our friends will be gone… We’ll be all alone…” (Y/N)’s tone was almost teasing. Warren had to chuckle to himself, she was doing her best to make the situation work.

His second group meeting was set a bit later in the day, around 6 pm on a Saturday. Warren told (Y/N) he probably wouldn’t be back until after dark. 

“Call me if you need me. I’ll be here—” She motioned to her empty bedroom. 

“Don’t have too much fun without me,” He teased.  

“You too, Baby.” 

Warren drove himself to his second group therapy meeting. Alex offered to drive again, but Warren felt bad having him taking time out of his day to drive him to group therapy. 

Not everyone who was at the first meeting was at the second one— but Warren saw some familiar faces. 

“Hey, Warren! Welcome back,” Allison greeted him. 

“Hi.” 

He took a seat near a guy in a grey hoodie with an eyebrow piercing. 

“Alright everyone, we’re going to go around, say our name, and if we have any pets. If you don’t that’s okay! You can say, what kind of animals you’re interested in. Let’s start with Collin…”

Warren zoned out for a bit until it was his turn. He didn’t have a pet, and he didn’t really have an interest in a specific animal. People made jokes about him being a bird, but he didn’t necessarily have a connection with them. 

“I don’t have a pet… My girlfriend has a lot of plants though…” 

“Ooo! What kind?” 

“Um… Almost all kinds— her mutation helps grow them and stuff…”

“That’s cool.” Someone commented.

Warren awkwardly nodded. The ice breaker continued around the circle, and when finished, Allison had some people give updates on how they had been since the last meeting, others talked about how they were feeling in general. 

“Warren—”

“Yeah?” He asked. 

“Do you want to continue talking from where you left off last week?”  

“I can, sure.” 

The floor was given to him, and Warren continued his “backstory”. 

“I ended up in Germany. Messing around, staying overnight on stranger’s couches. I tried to find work, but it was hard being almost 15 at this point and no papers… I ran into muggers and they tried to, well, rob me, but I fought back. I wasn’t very good but it got them off and away from me… I ended up in a bar… The last thing I remember was falling asleep and then waking up in a locker room of sorts. A bunch of men shouting in German, um, some in English, but basically I was told to go out into ‘the ring’. People were watching— shouting and cheering, for the other guy in the ring. He was kind of short and hairy, but he had these claws, and he could really kick ass. I barely made it out of there— I didn’t win— but I didn’t die. People enjoyed watching us. They cheered, calling him Wolve-something, and they called me, Angel.” 

“I wanted to leave, but the people running the ring gave me some money and I found a place to stay for the night… the job offers weren’t exactly lining up… so I agreed to more fights. I got really good, fighting other mutants, probably in the same situation as me, but I quickly realized, kill, or be killed…” 

Warren quickly realized people had very concerned looks on their faces. “I didn’t kill anyone! But I did beat them up pretty badly— the more fights I won the more money I got— and it was that or die… I did it for about two years before I met someone… 

I was alone at a bar, I was bruised and a bit bloody, and this girl with purple hair came up to me. She was one of the guards in the fight club— she worked for some guy named Caliban, I think. I don’t remember… Anyway, her name was Betsy. She said she’d been watching me for a while, saying my fighting was impressive but could be improved… Uh, She offered to help me out, and we went back to her place. She helped clean up the blood on me, and um, then we made out, and I spent the night… This went on for a while, she’d watch me fight and give me tips and pointers, and we’d make out and stuff…”   

“How long is, awhile?” Allison asked.

“Um, Like two-ish years? I don’t know— but um, we had this like thing going on, and I thought we were maybe dating? I dunno. But whatever we had I fucked up.”

Warren groaned as Betsy aggressively pressed her mouth against his. He had just won another fight and went back to her place to “celebrate”. 

“God, B… I love you...” 

 Betsy froze, her body tensing up. 

“What?”

Warren panicked, her face did not seem pleased. “It slipped out— I’m sorry—”

“No… You don’t mean it… We can’t be together.”

“What do you mean?” He asked. “I thought we were together.” 

“Angel— this isn’t a relationship— we just fuck while I give you some pointers on your punches.”

“I know this isn’t traditional, we don’t go out on dates—”

“You don’t love me! We’re too young— I’ll lose my job. I spend all this time one you so I don’t lose my job, you’re the best fighter—”

“You keep me trapped here?” Warren asked, slowly piecing things together. 

“It’s not like that—” She tried to explain. 

“I’ve tried to quit fighting for almost a year now! I told you I wanted to leave, and this whole time you’ve been keeping me here?” 

“You’re young and naive, and I’d lose my job, everything—” 

Warren stood up, ignoring Betsy’s excuses. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Away. Since we’re not together and I don’t love you.” Warren slammed the door behind him and headed back to the ring. He needed to let out his anger. 

—

Warren went on a winning streak— he won ten fights in a row— the feeling was borderline euphoric, the crowds cheering for their champion, Warren getting to sink someone’s teeth in or watch them fall to the ground. 

Warren was amped up for his eleventh fight— the announcer was talking about his next opponent— 

“The Incredible Nightcrawler!” 

A lanky, devil looking, blue boy fell out of a cage onto the floor of the ring. Warren circled him for a moment before meeting him on the ground. 

He wasn’t fighting, just teleporting around the cage in small bursts. 

“Fight!” Warren yelled at him. “Or they’ll kill us both!” 

The blue boy looked terrified, but he fought back when Warren attacked him. 

At one point he managed to drag Warren against the side of the electric cage, burning his wing. 

“Ah!” Warren cried out in pain. Suddenly he saw the blue devil escape from the bottom, so in a risky move, he flew up and ripped off the upper walls of the cage, and flew out. His flying was wonky and jagged for one of his wings was broken.

Warren had nowhere to go, so he went back to the one place he shouldn’t have— 

Betsy’s place. 

—

“I was drunk as shit and angry and this blue wrinkly man came with Betsy and some other girl I didn’t recognize, and he just held his hand out and metal grew out of my back and on top of my wings. I was healed, in a way, but also it kind of ruined my life. The blue man also just held his hand  out and gave me these tattoos…”

“You weren’t one of the horsemen with Apocalypse, were you? Like last spring I think… Out in Cario?” One girl in the circle asked.

“Yeah… Um, I never killed anyone, and I don’t do that anymore. The X-Men took me in and I’m trying to get my shit together.” 

“We don’t judge here, and from what I’ve heard, the X-Men do great things! Like the Fantastic Four and Spider-Man.” Others in the group murmured in agreement. 

“You’re built like a transformer dude,” The guy sitting next to him commented. 

“Thanks…” 

“I think you can do a lot of good, Warren. You’ve spent a lot of time running from your problems, but you seem like you’re grounded now… I was told you came here because you relapsed.”   

“It was an accident— I haven’t drank since.” 

“And that’s good! It can be really hard to open up and talk about your past, but you did it…”

Warren nodded along to what Allison said. 

“I think you can do even better if you acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them… and don’t be afraid, don’t push them into the back of your mind… I think— if you haven’t already— talk to your girlfriend about some of this. Doesn’t have to be a lot or all at once, but being open and honest does good in relationships.”

“Yeah, um, sounds good.” Warren’s heart fell into his stomach. He was terrified to talk about all of this with (Y/N).

She didn’t deserve the burden. (Y/N)  was this innocent, happy, light in his life. Warren didn’t want to ruin that. 

He thought (Y/N) was too good for him, and she would eventually realize that and leave him.  

But he trusted her. He trusted (Y/N) with his life. Perhaps a bit foolish, but he rarely ever felt sure about those types of things. He decided to trust his intuition.

—

Warren drove home in silence. 

He pulled into the garage and put the keys on the key rack before heading up to (Y/N)’s room. 

He didn’t even bother knocking on the door. He just walked right in and flopped onto the bed, in (Y/N)’s lap.

She was surprised, but she quickly came to her senses and tried to figure out what happened. 

“Baby?...” (Y/N) looked down at Warren’s face as she tucked a piece of his hair behind his ear. 

“I…” Warren burst into tears, all his bottled up emotions coming out at once. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Warren sat up and (Y/N) hugged him tightly. 

“I have… things… I want to tell you… about my past…” Warren scrunched his nose. 

“My parents and other stuff… but I’m scared.” He admitted.  

“Warren, baby, I’m not going anywhere. Tell me whatever you need to, whenever you feel ready, okay?” 

He slowly nodded, still crying. 

(Y/N) kissed his forehead and rubbed his back, being silent and supportive. 

“Can… Can you promise me… Promise me you won’t leave because of my past. I’ve done really bad shit and—” 

“I promise I’m not going anywhere. I mean it.” She reassured him.  

Warren wiped his nose with the back of his hand, his tears slowing down.

“Thanks…” He mumbled.

“Of course, anything for you, Angel.” 

[fallout4reactsblog]

I was wondering if you could do an ask for those of us who don't have family to celebrate the holidays with. Companions react to Sole being upset spending their first holiday season without their family.

Cait: “Do you wish you had someone this holiday, Cait?”

It’s a weird question to come out of nowhere, and she leans around the curio she’s searching through to eye them quizzically.

“Why do you ask?”

They shrug. “I was just thinking about my family and everything, and how I miss them, and I thought I would get your opinion.”

She chews her lip thoughtfully and returns to rifling through drawers. “The way I see it, this is the one holiday I actually do have someone to spend it with. Before you, nobody gave a shite about me, you know?”

“I guess I hadn’t thought about it like that.” They laugh a little. “What an odd pair we make.”

“At least you’re not completely alone. You’ve got me, after all. Think of how much worse it would’ve been if you were by yourself.”

“That’s a surprisingly adept observation coming from you, Cait.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She chucks a loose snack cake at them.

They dodge, laughing. “It’s just strangely philosophical, you telling me to focus on what I have instead of dwelling on what I don’t. I guess I can learn a thing or too from you, huh?”

“Damn straight. You should listen to me more.”

“If I did, I’d end up dead.”

“Probably just maimed.”

“Brutally maimed.”

She waves a hand through the air. “Details.”

When they’ve quieted for a moment, she murmurs, “But for real, I am glad to have you, sole.”

Quietly, she hears. “I’m glad to have you, too.”

Curie: She taps the end of her pencil to her cheek as she searches for the right word. It’s not “impossible,” and “improbably” sounds too formal, but the word she wants escapes her. Frustrating.

“Curie?”

She glances up at sole, who’s sitting on the other end of the couch. In the middle, their legs have tangled together, and she looks past them to look them in the eyes.

“What is troubling you Madame/Monsieur?”

“Nothing, nothing. I just noticed you’ve been a lot more affectionate lately. I mean, you’ve barely left my side.”

She flushes. “Is that a problem?”

“No, not at all, I just thought it was strange.”

“I simply thought you would be feeling more lonely this time of year. Holidays can be a difficult time of year for those of us without family to celebrate with, non?”

They narrow their eyes. “Why were you even thinking about that?”

“I was simply reminiscing on my time with the other scientists before the war, and I remembered how lonely it was all by myself in the lab. They were always so happy around the holidays. And I thought to myself, sole is not in a lab, but they are also missing their family. I thought perhaps you would appreciate a little extra support.”

“That’s...” they shake their head. “That’s really sweet, Curie. Thank you.”

“Oh, do not mention it. It is merely a gesture of our friendship. You saved me from my loneliness, and I wish to return the favor.”

“Still, it’s kind. I appreciate it.”

“You are more than welcome, Madame/Monsieur. Anytime.”

Danse: He finds them out on the deck, wind whipping past them as they stare over the Commonwealth. They’ve been distant for days now, giving nothing but short answers, eyes far away when they talk. If he’s honest, he’s worried about them. It’s why he’s ditched the power armor in his bay for the moment; right now he wants to be a person, not a Paladin.

“Evening, Danse.”

They don’t turn to him when he approaches, and he doesn’t know how they can recognize his footsteps outside power armor, but he doesn’t question it. He just leans against the railing beside them.

“Something has been troubling you,” he says.

They sigh, and he can almost see them deflate against the railing. “You know, Danse, I thought that it would be easier than this.”

“What?”

“The holidays. I thought, you know, even though my family wasn’t here, maybe the Brotherhood would help fill that- that emptiness, if even just a little. But I guess it just doesn’t look like that.”

Their words hit too close to home, and he deflates a little, too. “I’m afraid you’re a year too late. With the war, there will be no holidays onboard the Prydwen.”

“Did there used to be?”

He nods, not trusting his words. He can’t tell them that, even though he understands why it’s necessary, it still hurts. They’re still new, still building their trust. He can’t sabotage that.

His silence means nothing, though, as sole seems to read his mind. “You must miss that. In a way, you don’t have a family for the holidays, either.”

Gently, they lean their shoulder to his, and he allows himself to lean back against them, just this once.

“At least we have each other,” they whisper.

He nods. “At least there’s that.”

Deacon: He doesn’t want to say it in such direct terms, but the truth is that sole’s house is a little... sad.

To be fair, they’ve only been in the Commonwealth a few months, and a lot of that was spent trying to figure out what the hell had happened to them and the world, but still. Sole’s place feels entirely like a house, and nothing like a home.

“You know, boss, you should just spend the holidays with us.”

They look up from their coffee mug from their place at their sad table with its sad, lone chair. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, just come live at HQ a while. It’s gotta be better than spending the holidays alone out here.” Slowly, he turns in a circle, as if to emphasize how empty (and sad) the walls are.

“But my memories are here, Deeks.” They blow on their coffee. “This is where I should’ve spent the holiday.”

“Yeah, with your family, if the world hadn’t gone to shit and blown up. But it did, so you should just come celebrate with us. Trust me, you’ll be a lot happier.”

He doesn’t mention the number of holidays he spent in an empty farmhouse for the sake of memory, and thankfully sole doesn’t ask.

“Deacon, are you actually... worried about me?”

“Oh, you bet, boss. I mean, look at this place. It doesn’t even have electricity. You couldn’t have holiday lights if you wanted them.”

“Do you guys do holiday lights?”

He shrugs. “Do you want to?”

For a brief moment, there’s a spark of life in their eyes. “Would it be okay?”

“Who’s gonna complain? Carrington? Just tell him that he doesn’t have to look at them.”

They hum and say, “I guess I’ll consider it.”

That’s his cue to hit him with the ace up his sleeve. “We do a game of Secret Santa, too.”

They try to hide their smile, but they’re bad at it, and Deacon breathes a sigh of relief, knowing they’re sold.

Gage: “Fuck do you mean, you miss them?”

“I mean I was fucking married and had a kid, you eyeless prick. I actually cared about my family, and it sucks that they’re not here. I’m sorry that you cut ties with your family completely, but not all of us can or want to.”

He huffs, because he can tell he’s pushing a little too hard, and if he keeps going he’ll end up wishing he’d kept his mouth shut.

“Well, Overboss, trust me when I say you won’t even remember them. We got a bit of a tradition here, ourselves.”

They eye him warily. “Do tell.”

He shrugs. “Not much to say. It’s a party, we get drunk, fuck around, light some shit on fire. It’s a good time. Can’t lay around feelin’ sorry for yourself when you’re lightin’ something on fire.”

“So, Yule. You’ve reinvented Yule.”

“Call it what you want. As long as you have a good time, who cares, right?”

Their face is still doubtful.

“At least give it a shot, boss. You’re gonna have to be there anyway to keep up appearances. Might as well try to have a good time while you’re at it.”

“Alright.” They sigh in resignation. “But if I end up drunk and crying in a corner, it’s your fault.”

“I promise to hide you before you can embarrass yourself.”

“I guess that’s all I can ask for.”

Hancock: “Hey, sister/brother, what do you think of these?”

He holds up a couple strands of garland and tosses them over to a waiting sole, still perched on a ladder.

“Shockingly good condition,” they say. “But I think this stuff usually goes on the tree.”

He waves a hand. “You put it wherever you want. I’m just helpin’.”

“Well, do you have a tree?”

“Somewhere around here.” He glances around, but realizing it’s not within direct line-of-sight, shouts, “Fahrenheit!”

“What?” Her voice is muffled by the distance, but her irritation is not.

“Where’s my tree?”

“Wherever you put it last year. I don’t keep track.”

“Damn,” he huffs. “ I thought for sure that’d work.”

He heads into the other room to rifle around for his tree. There’s a beat of silence before sole says, “You know, I never have properly thanked you.”

“For what?” He glares down at the wreath in his hands, which had tricked him into thinking it was a tree, before shrugging and tossing it to the side to get hung up anyway.

“For giving me stuff to do like this. Staying busy really helps me feel less... alone, you know?”

He rocks back on his heels, peering into the other room to make eye contact with them. “Sure thing, sunshine. But I’ll warn you, it wasn’t all my idea.”

They laugh a little. “I figure Daisy had a hand in things, but still. It’s nice of you.”

“I appreciate you assumin’ that I’m not just using you for free labor.”

They laugh again, for real this time, and he can’t help but smile.”

MacCready: He wants to say something. He wants to tell them that it’ll be alright, that he’s been there and it hurts, but you make it out in the end. He wants to be able to comfort them somehow as he watches them duck their head and pretend to not see the decorations in Diamond City, but he’ll be damned if he knows how.

Fortunately, sole has the words where he does not.

“This sucks,” they declare, holed up in the corner of the Bobrov’s bar.

“I’ll drink to that.”

They clink their beers together, sip, and lapse into silence before sole says, “I really miss my family, Mac.”

He closes his eyes, pictures his boy back in D.C., and agrees. “It’s a tough time of year to be without them.”

They reach across the table and grab his hand. “Next year, we’ll go down to D.C. We’ll have found the cure by then. We’ll go see Duncan.”

“Would you really want to go?” His heart is thrilled to hear their words, but his head tells him that might only hurt them more.

“Of course. I want to see you go home and see your kid. I wish we could’ve done it this year, but...”

“That didn’t work out,” he finishes.

They nod.

“You know,” he says, taking another sip of beer, “next year we’ll have a big family celebration to compensate.”

“What, you and Duncan?”

“No, all three of us. We’ll go the whole nine yards. Lights, presents, everything. The real deal, all three of us. Family.”

That brings a smile to their face, and he smiles to see it. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but for a moment he can see the whole thing before him. The three of them together, laughing, making a family out of nothing.

Just make it through this year, he promises sole silently, and I’ll make sure you have a family holiday again.

Nick: He eyes sole in the corner of the agency, where they’re talking to Ellie about some case they’re working. They’ve been talking about leaving these past few days, about heading up to Sanctuary for the holidays. It doesn’t sit right with him. He knows sole, and he knows that only bad things await them at their old home this year.

“Well, I’m headed out.” They breeze by his desk to grab their hat. “Have a nice holiday, you two.

He looks them dead in the eyes and asks, “Why?”

They freeze right where they are. “Why what?”

“Why are you leaving? Got somethin’ real exciting up north?”

Their expression tells him they don’t have a good answer, and he sighs.

“Look, kid, I get it. You think you wanna be alone to mourn and cope with your loss. But I’m tellin’ ya, you’re not coping. You’re just making yourself miserable.”

Under their breath, they mutter, “Damn detectives. Always analyzing you,” before turning to him directly. “Well, you and Ellie already have your thing going on. I’d hate to intrude...”

“You’re not intruding,” Ellie pipes up. “In fact, I already bought you a present. In a way, it would almost be ruder to leave.”

“I bought one, too,” he says. “How about that?”

They hesitate. “Are you sure?”

“Bed upstairs is all yours. Stay a while. It’s not like ya can’t change your mind and leave later.”

They turn to Ellie, but she’s just nodding along. “I freshened up the sheets just the other day, actually.”

“Well... alright.”

He lets himself smile.

Piper: “Damn, Blue. This place looks worse than the Glowing Sea.”

Her eyes scan Sanctuary Hills. Even Preston has headed off to the Castle for the month, so the place looks well and truly abandoned. The breeze kicks up as if on cue, scattering a few leaves across the road.

“Isn’t it great?” They kick a pebble across the street, bitter expression on their face. “No family for the holidays, and nobody else, either.”

“You can’t stay here,” she says, staring at the bleak, run-down houses.

They shrug. “I don’t really have anywhere else to go. I could stay at one of the other settlements, but that just feels weird. My home is here.”

Piper shakes her head. “No way, Blue. I won’t allow it. You are not spending the holidays here and that is final, you hear me? Final.”

They glance over at her with a bemused expression. “Then where am I going?”

“Home, with me, to Diamond City. You’ll spend the holidays with Nat and I, not here in, well, this. I mean, at least Diamond City decorates.”

They laugh a little. “Piper there is no room for me in your house.”

“We will make room. This isn’t up for debate, Blue. And don’t start with the ‘Oh, I’ll be intruding’ stuff, either. Nat’s gonna be thrilled to see you, and I’ll be thrilled you aren’t moping around this place that could probably make Takahashi depressed.”

“What, the noodle bot?”

“The very same. Now, go make yourself a sleeping bag, get whatever else you need, and let’s go.”

They salute her mockingly, “Yes, ma’am. Right away, ma’am.”

Better to be mocked than leave sole here.

Preston: He knows without sole saying a word. He knows that pain, the haunted look that trails them, the way they linger just a moment too long in the doorway of their home before sighing. He can’t help but feel for them, too, because he still feels like he’s in those shoes, lonely around the one time of year no one should be lonely.

Maybe that’s why he does what he does. He tells himself he’s crazy, even as he treks across the Commonwealth, searching out their companions, inviting them to Sanctuary so sole can be surrounded by this new, found family they’ve made. He can’t let sole suffer alone, not this time, not ever. He knows what that loneliness does to a person, and he refuses to ask sole to face it on top of everything else.

He reminds X6 that, if he doesn’t play nice, he probably won’t live to regret it.

He meets Gage at neutral territory and, even though it disgusts him beyond belief, they make a temporary armistice for the next few months.

He tells Danse that if he makes so much as one comment about ghouls, synths, or anyone else, he won’t be able to get all the sand out of his power armor for months.

It’s not the most glamorous job in the Commonwealth, but he is bound and determined to make this thing work, no matter the cost or consequence.

X6: “I don’t think I understand. Your family is here.”

They sigh. “But they’re not, X6. Sure, I found Shaun, but he’s hardly the child I thought I was looking for, and my spouse is still dead. My own son doesn’t even know me, much less would want to spend the holidays with me. I may have found Shaun, but...” They sigh. “Did I find my son?”

He takes a moment to contemplate their words. “You’re quite distressed about this.”

“I guess?” They shake their head. “I’m just lonely, X6. That’s all. I miss my family and having someone to spend the holidays with. It just doesn’t feel the same.”

He looks at them, takes in their tired, beaten expression and their slumped posture. Quietly, he evaluates a series of options and outcomes before leaning in and whispering, “Do you want to know a secret?”

“What?”

“A secret. Do you want to know a secret?”

They slide toward him, dropping their voice to a whisper, too. “Yes.”

“Us coursers aren’t supposed to have holidays. We are not supposed to have a sense of family. You know this.”

“Of course.”

“Perhaps you would like to join us, who also have no family, for a small celebration, then. It isn’t much, but there are snack cakes.”

They look at him, almost impressed. “X6, you know that’s not allowed. Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I trust you, and I think you need us as much as we need each other. I only ask that you don’t report it, if for no other reason than our bond as friends.”

“I- X6, I’m not going to tell anyone. I’d love to go.”

He nods. “It’s settled then. December twenty-second, one in the morning, the abandoned areas behind biosciences. Bring snack cakes, and bring lots if you want to make friends.”

[kannra21]

Not Weak

Geten found herself in a tricky situation and she doesn't want Re-Destro to find out. How can a certain fire-user help her by making things even more complicated?

characters: dabi (todoroki touya) x f!geten

word count: 3.2k

warnings: angst, past memories, scars, abuse mention, foul language, comfort, making out

notes: I'd like to thank @seenalready13 for proofreading this work since I can be v clumsy with grammar haha. I'm v grateful for the help! And also, the picture above belongs to 九わん (@91qwn), here's the link to the artwork. Please support their work!

✂-------------------------------------------------------

Geten, as the keystone of the entire army, had the task of leading her group and ensuring that anyone within their ranks followed her instructions. The loyalty of their people was unquestionable as everyone adhered to Destro's teachings, and she was immensely proud of her Cryokinesis. 

The ice-user was grateful to their grand commander for granting her this amazing opportunity of making up for all the great things that he's done for her. She wore an honorable title, and her reputation has risen a lot since the hooning of her meta ability for years. However, she did experience all sorts of things their organization had to offer from the moment Re-Destro promoted her to his right-hand woman, believing that she'd be strong enough to take on the responsibility and he was right. It wasn't like she was bothered too much, especially since dealing with a couple of thugs on her own was no big deal for her. Still, this didn't mean that after performing their duties the soldiers couldn't relax and show their true colors.

This was the case with one guy in particular, who was casually hitting on her and calling her pet names which were utterly gross and humiliating. She had the utmost need to wipe the fucker out of the face of the Earth, but she also knew damn well that Re-Destro would disapprove of such actions considering that the army must avoid inner conflicts at all costs. Of course, she wanted to take matters into her own hands, to prove to the commander that she was deserving of her title, but the jerk simply wouldn't take her seriously as she wanted to be through with whatever problem she had without necessarily dragging Re-Destro into it. That's why she decided to take the easier route and use someone to her own advantage.

"What's in there for me?" Dabi asked, uninterested as he fixed the staples on his burnt skin.

It's true that they were partnered up to share their leading spot at the Vanguard Action Guerilla Warfare Regiment: Violet, but this didn't mean that they had to play nice with each other. Especially after Geten's offensive speech of power and people's place in this world. 

She clenched her fists in her pockets; of course, she should've known that he'd ask for something in return. "I don't have much to offer,” she said through greeted teeth. 

She looked almost pitiful if it weren't for her leading position; she felt stupid to even ask for help when she could've just ended the whole mess with one swift motion of her ice, and bam, the fool's dead. Well, if things could be that easy.

"I... I'M THE TOP LIEUTENANT AND THEREFORE I DEMAND OBEDIENCE! LIKE I NEED TO CONFIDE IN YOU, BURNT CHICKEN NUGGET SCUM!"

"THE FUCK-" Dabi stood up, fire flaring up in his hand and ready to strike as he saw Geten backing off with ice covering her right arm, bracing herself for the upcoming attack.

And then he saw it, at this very moment, the look of hesitation and unease covering her blue eyes. She... didn't want to fight? Was she defending herself? It reminded Dabi of something else from his past, or rather someone, defending themselves from his flames, wearing the exact same expression on their face while protecting his youngest brother. The dripping water from her ice washed over his memories as he obtained one after another in a frantic blur. Nostalgia soon followed the guilt, and it tore him apart, except he didn't want to show it, but Geten already noticed his anger faltering which was her cue to relax.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered under his breath, barely for her to hear. 

"What?" as the question rolled out of her mouth, she internally lost herself in delirium "BLUEFLAME CRISPY MCBACON JUST APOLOGIZED WTFWTFWTFWTFWTWTF-"

"Geten?"

"YES?" she snapped, too loud for what she initially intended. 

"I'll help you, and there's actually something you can do for me in return."

She crossed her arms and smirked confidently at him from her previous ego boost, much to his frowning expression. 

"Whatcha suggestin'?"

"I'll scare the fucker off, and you'll then... cool down my skin from using my flames. Deal?"

Geten looked at him for a moment to determine if he was joking about the offer but from the looks of it and his deep husky voice that she got used to oh so many times during the past week of working with him, she concluded that he was, indeed, not messing around. Dabi expected her to laugh it off or straight up refuse whatever suggestion he had on mind, but from the manner she weighed her choices in her head and the way she looked at him, with those bright, beautiful eyes and long lashes fixated to his own... Wait, when did they get this close?

The two backed off and cleared their throats in embarrassment. They were freaking staring at each other, and for fucking what?

"I... It's a deal then."

"Good."

… 

"Just... don't hurt yourself too much while dealing with the idiot."

Dabi turned his head so fast his neck hurt. 

"WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO WEIRD?!"

"SHUT UP AND MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS!"

As they reached the place where their target was supposed to be, the man soon showed up by Geten's side and started pestering her with all kinds of bull he made her deal with on a daily basis. And just as she felt sick enough, Dabi put his hot hand on the guy's shoulder, making his skin sting in the first-degree burns. The guy then backed off and glared at the fire-user with utmost disdain.

"THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?"

"Listen up freak", Dabi took Geten for the waist and gently pulled her towards himself, her body leaning on his own and fitting perfectly under his larger frame, "I saw what you did there. You’d better stop messing with my girlfriend, or else you'll burn to ashes."

Geten internally screamed and pinched him on the side for being a fucking idiot. "HIS GIRLFRIEND!? THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO PLAY OUT LIKE THAT!"

"You sound too confident, guess I should give you a nice beating to teach you a lesson."

He soon regretted his decision because Dabi was entirely down to realize his threat, and after a couple of burns, the moron retreated while he still could and left Geten alone.

And while she hated that they needed to make a scene in front of the other soldiers who were whispering to each other and exchanged who knows what kinds of things, she couldn't leave Dabi alone like this so she put his hand over her shoulder and helped him reach a more secluded area. They entered his room because he said that he kept the first aid kit in a drawer. It was also the first time that Geten came by but it didn't look at all exciting either; the room had a very plain interior, darkened space with the shutters down, piles of dirty clothes creased to the side probably waiting to be washed, the bed left unmade since this morning, a bunch of disinfectants sitting on the nightstand and some used medical gaze forgotten to be thrown away. Geten almost felt sorry for him. It's not like she was doing any better but at least she knew how to take care of herself.

She seated him carefully on the bed, and he started digging through drawers until he found what he needed. When he was all set, he began to take his jacket and shirt off but then Geten panicked and lowered his shirt. 

Dabi's confusion mixed with annoyance was now directed towards the ice gremlin's pretty face. "Aren't you going to cool me down?"

"I THOUGHT YOU ONLY MEANT HANDS AND THINGS LIKE THAT! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!?" she shouted with blushing cheeks covering her face with her hands.

Dabi soon understood what she meant and closed his eyes, wearing a disheartened smile. 

"It's not like you'll see much. Just a bunch of patched-up skin and bruises. It's not even that hot."

"THAT'S NOT WHAT-,” but then she noticed that his expression never actually faltered, he looked to the front and waited patiently for her next move, sadness surrounding his wounded features. It's not like it was his first time reconciling with the facts, but still, being this burnt and knowing that it wasn't entirely his fault, but his father was also to blame, which made him remember the days when he wasn't in such a fucked up condition as he was now. It made him feel a bit of regret too. But he needed to acknowledge that the path he took was the one with no return, and he needed to accomplish his mission. Endeavor needed to be brought down at all costs; maybe then he'd gain a sense of worth and show him, prove to him, that he was deserving of more incredible things. The ice-user sighed in defeat and gave up on her embarrassment, "just show me what you got.”

Dabi was brought out of his train of thought, and he took off his shirt. It turns out that he was right, some of his scarred skin was sizzling slightly, and his wounds looked terrible because they were situated further on the back where he couldn't reach. She took the disinfectant from the nightstand and tapped it lightly on the freshly made scars. He made a slight grimace, but didn't flinch, didn't wince, like he was afraid of showing his weaknesses by putting on a tough act. It'll all pay off, he assured himself, once he gets rid of his dad. 

When she finished, he allowed Geten to scoot closer to make her do her thing. Her icy hands on his skin felt so good that suddenly he forgot about all of his problems. He turned his face to the side so she wouldn't notice, but the goosebumps on his skin told her otherwise. 

She made a sly smile and cocked her head to look at him from the corner. 

"What's up, tough guy? Can't hide the way I make you feel good?"

He laughed under his breath. He liked when she was this flirty. It made the situation less awkward. But he also felt uncomfortable with how he needed to depend on someone, just like her, when she asked for his help. Were they that similar?

"I need to ask you something,” Dabi asked quietly like he was probing the waters. 

"Yea?"

"Do you still think that I'm weak?" 

The silence filled the room, and he had the need to explain himself. 

"You said that there's no worth living if the user doesn't possess a strong meta ability. Hooning your power was the only thing worth your time as you didn't wish for anything else. You always thought that our Quirks defined us, that they're things we identify with for life. Now that you've taken a closer look at my condition, tell me, what do you think?"

Geten suddenly grew interested in the laminate floor under their feet as she couldn't look anywhere else, her eyes deep in thought.

"That was very mean of me, and I'm sorry, especially since you risked your own health for my reputation."

"... by calling you, my girlfriend?"

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY ACTUAL SENSE!?, her teeth grew sharp, and her eyes furrowed like some rabid cartoon character. 

"It did, actually. Because of my threat, the fool is now afraid of looking at your general direction, knowing that I'd kick his ass whenever he says something stupid again."

Unbothered, he drank his painkillers from the glass of water. 

"... Wait. You'd really repeat all of this... for me?"

Just as he drank, so did he spit, coughing and wiping his chin with his forearm.

"Of course I would, but don't get the wrong idea."

""WRONG IDEA"? YOU LITERALLY CALLED ME YOUR GIRLFRIEND IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!"

"IT WAS JUST TO CONFUSE THE FUCKER!"

"THEN WHY WOULD YOU REPEAT IT?"

"IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU REALLY!"

"THEN WHY'S IT!?"

"I JUST NEED YOU FOR YOUR STUPID ICE FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"

The room fell in complete silence once again, and the tension became so thick one could almost cut it with a knife.

Her expression grew cold, and her eyes bore nothing but pure disgust. "So that's what this was all about."

"WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO SURPRISED NOW? IT WAS OUR DEAL, REMEMBER?"

She sat up from her seat and went straight to the door, readying herself to leave.

"Wait."

Just as she was about to step out, she turned around, his tone of voice catching her off guard only to see him sitting miserably on his bed, head hanging and elbows leaning on his knees, grieving.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

Geten stood at the doorway for a minute and then slowly entered again, closing the door behind her. Dabi continued.

"I say things that I don't mean and push the people I care about away."

The white-hair watched his back in silence until she decided to speak up again "... So you actually meant it... the other way?"

"I'm such a sick fuck."

She sensed the crack in his voice and came closer, undoing his hands only to see blood trailing down his face. 

"Whoa, what's going on with your scars?" she tried to wipe it off only to smear it across his cheeks, and Dabi smiled a little.

"Aren't you disgusted by it? Now all of your fingers are red."

She didn't mind his words but created an ice cube to wash it with the water.

"I should call Sceptic. He’s much better at this medical shit than I am."

"No one can help me with it. My tear ducts are all burnt out, and I can't really tear up much."

"Wait, you're crying?"

Dabi refused to say anything as she tried to wipe the rest of the blood off, pressing gentle circles on his now iced skin.

"Blueflame…"

"Hah, actually, you're right. Maybe I really am as weak as you told me back then. I literally am falling apart. How pitiful."

Without a second thought, she slapped him across the face, and he took his stinging cheek in his hand.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT!"

"Thanks...."

"I'm sorry. Look, you're everything but weak, so don't you dare call yourself that. You endured so much pain, your skin is the proof of the things you've gone through in life, and you freaking survived. No one would be able to do this but you. You're not weak, Blueflame, far from it."

"You think so?"

"Of course I do! If it weren't for your help today, I would have talked to Re-Destro, and he'd think that I was too weak for my leadership role. I never actually thanked you for this, thank you."

"You're not weak either, doll. I'm pretty sure that you've beat my ass the week before."

She just smiled at him, and then they looked at each other the same way they did when they made their offer, except they didn't back off this time. They leaned into the kiss that was slow at first, but then they applied more pressure, and it grew more passionate. It was also their first time, so they couldn't really make fun of each other's clumsiness. Whenever their teeth collided, they laughed a little but continued until it felt right. She melted against him, her lips working in tandem with his and his hand slid up her outer thigh as he leaned forward to deepen it. She grasped his lower lip with her teeth before pulling away for some air, and he groaned.

"God, this felt good..." his chest heaved, his words a gravelly whisper.

She stood up and widened her stance, legs bracketing his own as she reached out to grab the back of his neck. She leaned over, forehead resting against his.

"You're not so bad yourself, gorgeous-eyes."

"I differ, yours are much more gorgeous."

"Really? Kinda sappy coming from your side." she grinned, but this didn't discourage him in the slightest.

"I could get lost in them, I mean it."

He caught her face in his palms, drawing her in deeper as his tongue slipped between their lips and slid against hers. His Quirk activated, his kiss is fierce and sweet all at once, and her head spins as his hands slid up her thighs, warming her up. Her mouth became much cooler now, and it sent shivers down his spine. She planted her icy hands on his shoulders and pushed them both backward, landing on the comfort of his bedsheets.

He drew circles over her back and waist, taking in her beautiful features as her head hovered over his own, hair tickling the skin on his face. She gave him a little peck that made him smile, and she cupped his face, thumbs stroking the side of his cheeks.

"So we're official now?" she didn't know why she asked. It was kind of obvious now, but she wanted to hear it coming from his lips.

His expression became serious again as he looked to the side concerningly. He really didn't want to spoil whatever they had going on with his fucked up story about his family, hero society, his mission that could possibly cost him his life for the sake of achieving greater good. Now the last thing he needed was to fall in love with someone and die when he finally found his reason. Life was such a bitch sometimes.

"I'm currently dealing with a very unfortunate situation. I'm afraid that you'd get affected, and I don't want to endanger you by it."

She tilted her head questionably, "And I thought that we'd overcome everything as long as we're fighting together."

He looked at her worryingly, but his words bore a tad bit of curiosity in them, "You want to fight by my side?"

"Of course, you have my full support." she grinned widely, and he smiled, shaking his head in disbelief. It was amazing how much optimism, or rather confidence, could be stored in one single ice gremlin. But he loved her more than everything.

"Very well then." he turned them over and planted a kiss on her forehead before getting on his feet and pulling her up towards himself. "Boss told me about some business we need to take care of in the neighborhood. Cocktail hours?"

"FUCK WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY EARLIER!?"

"Relax, we'll arrive on time." he took his shirt and jacket and put them on.

As they walked towards their location, Dabi took her hand in his while some of the soldiers watched them in confusion, remembering when the two fought against each other.

He couldn't care less. She was the first person who ever supported him, so if his days were outnumbered, then he'd as well spend them with the only person worth his time.

[nova-is-a-writer-now]

FOOLS pt.5: finale

[[Zuko x reader]]

<- previous

Summary: Zuko and Y/N had liked eachother for a while even though neither of them knew it. Y/N tries to get over her crush for him, failing miserably. So just when she decides to let go and embrace her feelings, the new Fire lord finds himself feeling jealous and decides to take matters into his own hands.

A/N: This took so incredibly long to write I am SO sorry, but I think it ended up pretty good. You’re finally getting some fluff in the middle of all this angst, and seeing as this is the finale I wanted to thank everybody for your support with this series. Everyone who has been sending asks, replying to the other parts, liking and rebloging, thank you so much, it really does mean the world to me. Also thanks to my favorite reader ever @eternally-infinitely love u lots <3

Ps: now that I’m done with this i have no idea what else to write so please send your requests, I might have a promt list up soon.

-IF YOU HAVE ANY REQUESTS DONE HESITATE TO ASK-

Zuko saw you hug the water tribe guy once again and walk away quickly. He thought that after an entire night of seeing you two together laughing along with his friends, you being picked up and hugged by him and overall just being happy, the burning sensation in his chest would lessen, but he was wrong. If anything everytime he saw you around him it seemed to make the flame that resided inside of him grow bigger and angrier.

He was standing at the main entrance of the palace, saying goodbye to all the guests that made their way to their homes. There were only a few people left when the water tribe guy approached him. He had gotten so much better at controlling his anger, but he was not too far away from letting his old self back out.

“Hey, you’re Zuko, right?” He said while extending his hand towards Zuko.

He took it into his own had and shook it politely. “I am... and you are?” His voice gave him away, even to him it sounded dark and calculated.

“Doko, very nice to meet you. Your friends told me a lot about you, it’s a shame we didn’t get to talk much tonight.” His own correctness and warmth made Zuko’s blood boil, of course he was perfectly controlled and civilized, and of course Y/N wanted Doko over him.

“Yes, a shame. I trust that Y/N kept you busy the entire night, she tends to be a great host.”

“She did, it was truly great seeing her after such a long time. Reconnecting with old friends is always a treat.”

Doko’s words confused Zuko, he tried to stop himself but his mouth acted faster than his head. “Friends? Aren’t you two...dating?” He asked, regretting it seconds after.

Doko’s face contorted in shock. “Dating? What gave you that idea? No, no. She and I saw eachother for the first time in many years the other day at the market. If I’m not wrong you were around too, right?” Zuko nodded lightly letting Doko’s words sink in. “Well, she and I know eachother from the Northern Water tribe, we both grew up there, but I had to move away with my family and we didn’t really stay in touch since.”

The weight of Zuko’s actions started to fall onto him. He’d messed everything up, all the things that were going on with Y/N in that moment were his fault, his damn fault for not knowing how to control his stupid emotions.

Doko must have seen the worried look on Zuko’s face because he adopted a more cautious tone when he said “Tell me if I’m completely wrong or overstepping a line here, but I really think the two of you should talk. I don’t know what’s going on between you, Y/N hasn’t said anything to me, but I know her, and whatever is going on, I’m sure it’s a big misunderstanding. She has a really hard time expressing her emotions, so if you’re waiting for her to talk to you first, it’s probably not going to happen.”

Zuko finally let go of his formal, tough facade and looked down. “Was I that obvious?”

“I see the way you look at her, and she looks at you the exact same way, believe me. It’s like both of you want to say a world of things to eachother but can’t seem to get them out. Talk to her... I’m sure that’ll smooth things out.” Doko placed a hand on Zuko’s shoulder before walking away.

He didn’t understand how Doko knew so many things, maybe his friends had filled him in while the two of you were talking in his office, or maybe he really just knew you that well. Regardless of the reasoning behind it, Zuko knew Doko was right, he needed to talk to you, say he was sorry and explain everything, no matter how hard it was.

So, he waited around until every last guest had left the palace, then until his uncle and friends all said their goodbyes, and lastly until Mai was the only other person there.

“So, you realized already this was a terrible idea and I was right all along?” She said waking up to him, causing the sound her high shoes to echo in the empty halls.

“You can tell me how stupid I am and how you told me so later, Mai. Right now I need to figure out how to fix this mess” Zuko said crossing his arms.

“I will, I’ll torture you about it until the day you two get married and maybe even after that, but you’re right, what did that guy tell you?” Mai asked in her usual emotionless voice.

“He told me they aren’t dating, that they’re just old friends and he hadn’t seen her in a long time before two days ago.” Zuko made a pause before looking up at her. “Get that smirk off your face, Mai, this is serious, I fucked up really bad.”

“Sorry, I just can’t believe how right I am sometimes.” She was about to make another joke when she noticed how worried Zuko actually was. “Ok fine, listen here dumbass, you made a mistake, a really big one, and you ended up hurting her a lot. She’s going to need time to forgive you, don’t expect her to just forget about it and instantly go back to how things were before this, cause it’s not gonna happen. What you’re gonna do is man up, go talk to her right now and explain how much of an idiot you are, tell her that you’re sorry and respect whatever she decides after that. If she forgives you or not that’s on her, she doesn’t have to forgive you just because you apologized.” Mai cared about very few things in this world, but Zuko was one of them. Even though they’d broken up a while ago, he still grew up with her, they shared a lot of experiences together and he understood everything that happened with Azula. She couldn’t let Zuko mess things up with you, specially because she actually thought you were good for him. Not that she would ever accept it out loud.

“I’ll do that. Thanks, Mai.”

—————————

“I don’t think there’s anything for us to talk about, Zuko” you said not moving an inch from where you were laying.

He sighed heavily before saying “Does you saying you wanna move out count as nothing?”

You didn’t reply, you knew it was a little extreme and you hadn’t really thought about it fully up until that point. You didn’t want to move out, actually you wanted the exact opposite, but when you said it you felt like you couldn’t be around Zuko a second longer and it just slipped out.

“Y/N, please. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but just listen to me.” He used a tone you had never been able to say no to, and he knew that. Regardless of anything that could ever happen between you two, he was still your weak spot, and despite your best self preservation instincts, you turned around and sat up to face him.

Your face broke Zuko’s heart even more than it already was, you looked so hurt, so tired and heartbroken, and all of it was his fault.

“Y/N... Mai and I-”

“You don’t have to explain any of your personal life to me, Zuko. You don’t owe me explanations, you can be with and do whatever you want with whoever-”

“I’m not with Mai, Y/N” Zuko cut you off before you could finish. “That’s what I’m trying to say. She and I aren’t a thing, and we haven’t been in a very long time.”

You looked at him confused before saying “Zuko... I saw you two kissing.”

“I...I know. Y/N, it was all a dumb thing I planned to... I don’t even know what I was trying to do. The day we went to the market I saw you with Doko, your face lit up as soon as you saw him, and you two got so close... I thought you were dating, and I can’t explain how that made me feel. I’ve tried so hard all this time to be better and control my emotions, but when I saw you with him all of it came back. I wanted to make you feel the exact same way I was feeling, so I called Mai over and asked her to pretend to be with me, she told me over and over again it was a bad idea but I didn’t listen.” He looked down to his hands ashamed before continuing. “I let fear take over me. I lost my entire family, aside from my uncle you’re the only one I have, you’re the only one who cares about me enough to stick around, I was so scared of losing you too.” He reached to where you had layed your hand and covered it with his. “Y/N, I am so sorry, I’m sorry I hurt you and treated you like I did, I’m so sorry I messed things up between us.”

You took more than a few seconds to process everything that Zuko said. You didn’t know how to feel, on one hand he wasn’t dating Mai and that was a relief, but on the other he purposely did something he knew would hurt you, he went out of his way to make you feel bad and treat you poorly. You forced words out of your mouth because you knew keeping them inside wouldn’t help either one of you.

“Why didn’t you just talk to me?” You asked him softly, your voice breaking a little.

“Because I’m an idiot Y/N, I didn’t think Doko and you could be anything other than a couple and I was blinded by jealousy” Zuko was being sincere, that much you knew. His tone made him sound like a kid.

“Does that mean all this time you had feelings for me too?” You asked carefully.

Zuko moved his hands up to your face and cupped it. “Yes, Y/N, I’ve liked you so much for so long and I was too much of a coward to tell you. Everything I wrote on that stupid speech about Mai was actually about you. I wrote it thinking of you... I don’t want you to move out, I want you close to me, and I know I don’t deserve it, but please... stay with me.”

You took a few seconds before speaking again. “I need time” you said covering his hands with yours before removing them from your face.

Zuko looked hurt, his eyes were sad and you could swear there was a hint of fear in them, but he nodded at your words and tangled his fingers with yours before saying. “I understand.”

He stood up from your bed and walked to the door, giving you one last look before walking out, leaving you all alone again.

That night you rolled around in your bed for hours on end. Zuko’s confession wouldn’t leave your head, his words replayed over and over while you tried to make sense of everything. You couldn’t say you hated Zuko, but you couldn’t say you weren’t mad at him either, and the question of what to do about him and the feelings he had confessed was still pending.

—————————-

The morning of the last day your friends were going to be in the palace came around. You all decided you didn’t want to do much else than lay around and enjoy the little time you had left together, and a good spot to do this would be the palace pool, as it was big enough for everybody, and would definitely make the unforgiving heat a little more manageable.

At first, your mood was still a little heavy, specially when you found out Zuko decided to take the day off to spend with the group. It’s not like you didn’t want him to join you guys, but wounds were still fresh and you still felt like you needed time and space from him. Regarless of how you felt, you also understood he wanted to spend time with his friends, and they wanted to see him too, so you pushed your feelings down and promised yourself you wouldn’t ruin this day for anyone, not even for yourself. You could forget about the situation for a day.

So, that’s exactly what you did, you focused your attention instead on the game of water volleyball the boys were playing. You laughed hysterically when Aang hit Sokka in the face by accident and he fell over splashing onto the water dramatically (He was fine after Suki gave him a big kiss). After they were done, everybody went into the pool and started splashing eachother, even Zuko and you got into a water fight for a quick moment. It felt nice to have things be normal again, even just a little.

Around midday Zuko went off to talk to his uncle about political business before he had to leave, while you and the group stayed at the pool. Not even five minutes after Zuko left, you heard your name being called behind you.

When you turned around you saw Mai, dressed a little more casually this time. You didn’t react for a few seconds until she broke the silence once again.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” She said standing awkwardly at the sight of you and your friends.

“Yeah, sure” you said, walking towards her and guiding her back into the palace halls.

“What’s up?” You asked her, the feelings of jealously and anger that came around every time you’d seen her those past few days no where near now that you knew she and Zuko weren’t together.

“Listen, I felt like I needed to apologize. I assume Zuko already talked to you and told you everything, so you know it was his idea to begin with, but I still shouldn’t have gone along with it. I did tell him he shouldn’t do it, but you know how he is.” She said, not an ounce of emotion in her voice. You knew, though, that didn’t mean her apology was insincere, that’s just how Mai was.

“Mai... it’s fine. It’s not your fault, it’s Zuko’s for dragging you into this. You don’t need to apologize.”

“You’re still mad.” It was more a statement than a question.

“Yes, Im still mad, Mai. Wouldn’t you be? Zuko went out of his way to purposely do something he knew would hurt me. How am I supposed to feel about that?” You wished you hadn’t let out all those things to Mai seeing as you didn’t really know if you could trust her or not, but you couldn’t help it.

“Youre right, I would be. You can be mad for as long as you want to, but just know that he is trying. I’ve never seen him try to be better for anyone as much as he does for you. I’m not going to make up excuses for what he did, but you can’t expect him to react to situations like a normal person when he grew up with an absent mother, a psycho sister and a monster of a father. He’s just never had to deal with people like this before, and specially with someone he likes this much. Just... give him another chance... or don’t, it’s not my business, really.”

With those words, Mai walked away leaving you in the hall, her words lingering in your head.

——————————

The afternoon sun was already starting to set when it the time for your friends to leave came around. You hated goodbyes, specially when it came to them. With their things already in the carriage, Katara and Suki came to hug you.

“We’re gonna see eachother again soon, ok?” Katara said, her comforting skills never failing.

You hugged her and thanked the spirits she had been there for all of this. You don’t know if you would’ve been able to get through the past few days without her.

Then you hugged Suki while hearing her say “I hope you make amends with him, you make a really nice couple.” you giggled and shrugged her lightly.

“I hope so too.”

Aang and Sokka came right behind them, already having said their goodbyes to the fire lord. The water tribe boy went to you first while Aang went to Toph.

“Don’t be a stranger, ok? And keep us updated on your romantic adventures, we’re all very intrigued.” he joked while giving you a hug.

“Idiot” you said breaking up the hug. “Keep those water tribe girls away, I don’t want Suki breaking any ribs.” He laughed back and headed to the carriage.

Finally Aang came along. You loved all your friends but you had to admit he was the best hugger of the group. “Bye, Y/N. Take care of them.” He said sofltly.

“I will, you take care of them.”

“Hey... next time I see you, I want to see happy. Doing whatever you want, but happy, ok?”

Aangs words almost made you cry, he always was one to know exactly what to say. You nodded softly as saw him be the last to get in the carriage, before it got lost in the horizon. You don’t know when Toph had left, but by the time you realized you were standing alone with Zuko in front of the palace doors as they were being shut close.

Instead of saying anything for you to stay, he let you walk away freely after a few second. Both your heart and your mind were confused, and although part of you wanted to let everything go and just forgive him, you needed to heal, it wasn’t fair to either of you to just hold this grudge inside of you.

————————-

And so you did. You took all the time you needed. Days passed after your friends had left, and those became weeks eventually. You weren’t giving Zuko the silent treatment, but you were a lot more distant than you used to be. You found yourself going out with Toph a lot more, anything to not be in the palace. You took a liking to finding libraries all over town, buying hidden gems in each of them, you went on a lot more walks, ate out a lot more, but most of that time was spent alone, giving you many opportunities to ponder on your feelings.

Throughout these weeks, Zuko was impressively understanding. He seemed to have taken you needing time very seriously. The firelord didn’t avoid you exactly, but also made no efforts to be alone with you. Sometimes you thought he might break, that he’d actually come up to you and ask you how much time does ‘needing time’ take, but he never did. He always kept his composure and control, and so did you.

Slowly but surely you started to sort your feelings out. Yes, Zuko had done very hurtful things, and you were angry about it, but at the same time you realized that there were two options on the table. You either decide not to forgive him, he gets over you as people do when things don’t work out, you get over him too and the two of you grow apart. You couldn’t phantom the thought of this space between you and Zuko being permanent, even the idea of it made your heart ache. Then came the second option, for the first time since you’d met him, you give into your feelings for him, you let go of all the fears that had been restraining you and let yourself take the risk of loving Zuko. This was an uncertain option, you didn’t know what would happen if you and Zuko actually got together, but your desire to find out turned out to be greater than your fear of uncertainty. Then, right in that moment, it was clearer than ever, you loved Zuko, and wasting more time with him wasn’t something you could allow yourself to do any longer.

—————————

The night you set yourself to finally talk to him, you were informed he attended an event that would have him out of the palace until rather late. You tried to go to bed, convincing yourself maybe it was better to talk to him in the morning, but you couldn’t get yourself to sleep. After a few hours you couldn’t contain yourself anymore, you made your way out of your room and to Zuko’s, to see if he was back already. Right as you were about to get there, a tall figure brought your attention to the balcony next to Zuko’s room. He was wearing a simple robe, seeking some comfort after wearing his formal attire for so long, you thought. He didn’t seem to hear you when you approached him from behind.

“Thought you were out until late tonight.” You said, visibly startling him a little.

Seeing him turn around made it clear you were right about what you wanted to do. He looked as handsome as ever, hair down a little higher than his shoulders now, the moonlight illuminating his face in the most heavenly way. He always found a way to take your breath away like the first day, even when he wasn’t trying.

“Y/N... yeah, I wasn’t feeling like spending the entire night there.” He replied softly, clearly shocked by your presence.

“Mind if I join you?” You asked approaching him slowly.

“Not at all.” Zuko’s eyes were still on you, a different kind of glimmer making them glow.

You stayed quiet for a few seconds looking for the correct words, he didn’t push you to talk. Finally you said “Zuko... I’m tired of being so far apart from you. This weeks have helped me realize, I don’t want to be away from you. I miss us, I miss how things used to be and... I think I’m ready to forgive you.”

He stood still besides you. You didn’t dare look at him this time, you were still scared of what his response would be, but before you could get any further into your own head, he muttered softly. “I miss us too... I’m really sorry, and I know I’ve said it so many times now, but I am.” He grabbed your wrist and turned you around to face him. “I don’t want to hurt you, you mean so much to me, Y/N, and if you’re ready, I want to show you how much better I can be, I want to make it up to you, every single day. Let me be better for you.”

His piercing golden orbs met yours, and it seemed like so long ago since you had the pleasure of staring into them so up close. You smiled at him softly, covering his cheek with your hand. This was exactly what you wanted, there was no doubt about it. He was everything you’d ever wanted.

You closed the space between him and you, your lips covering his in the sweetes way they could. He didn’t return the kiss for a couple seconds but then you felt his hands go up to your neck, holding you tight while he deepened the kiss. You stopped kissing his lips to go to the corners of his mouth before pulling away to look at him.

You were about to say something when you heard a voice behind you.

“Finally! you two fools were starting to get on my last nerve. Now, keep your tongues out of your throats around me or I might just vomit”

Toph left as fast as she had appeared and left you and Zuko a giggling mess.

“She threatened you too?” Zuko asked, to which you could only hide your face in the crook of his neck and nod. “We might need to deal with her later”

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[wkemeup]

By Any Other Name (Prologue)

series summary: When Special Agent Bucky Barnes is tasked with infiltrating the notorious gang Hydra and gathering evidence against its leader, Brock Rumlow, Bucky finds himself drawn to the woman who doesn’t seem to belong in this world of violence, the wife of the head of Hydra... you.  pairing: bucky x reader chapter word count: 2.3k warnings: bucky and sam being little shits, setting up the backstory 🌹series masterlist // series playlist

If there was one thing to know about Bucky Barnes, it was that he didn’t back down from a challenge; certainly not one from a former fighter pilot with a superiority complex and a loud mouth.  

Bucky stared down the end of the ring, circling with careful, steady steps as he sized up his prey. Sam Wilson rolled his eyes, a slight shake of his head, because he didn’t know quite yet the humiliation he was about to experience.  

It had been a while since Bucky had knocked Sam’s ego down a few notches and it was about time someone did something about his less-than-charming attitude. Sam was starting to talk a big game in front of the rookies and, well, Bucky couldn't have them thinking Sam was some kind of Bureau legend.

“You gonna make a move or what?” Sam jabbed, throwing his arms out to the side dramatically. He let out a groan that echoed through the rafters of the training gym. Always the dramatic one.  

Bucky snickered under his breath, patient, as he continued eyeing up Sam from the distance. 

His left arm was clasped behind his back, wrapped with tape meant to secure his fist in the ring, and he stretched the fingers in his right hand against his hip. A soft cracking released the air between his joints.  

Sam was the one with the brilliant idea to make a bet, in front of a cafeteria full of agents, that Bucky couldn’t get an opponent on the mat one-handed. It was a foolish mistake he was about to regret.  

Bucky charged at Sam, catching him off guard as he let out a grunt from the impact of Bucky’s shoulder diving straight into his stomach. Sam kneed him up into his chest and shoved Bucky off of him, full force of both hands straight to his collarbone, and sent him spiraling to the ground.

“Not so easy, huh?” Sam taunted, winking over at a the young female agent with strawberry blonde hair sweeping down her shoulders as she watched from beyond the ring. Sam didn't seem bothered in the slightest when she rolled her eyes at him and passed a few dollars to the agent on her left, nodding towards Bucky.  

Meanwhile, Bucky was back to his feet, jumping around on his toes, loosening his muscles and got back into position. His only free hand was held in front of him on the offense, his feet positioned slightly more than shoulder width apart, and he bent his knees, giving him the flexibility of movement and agility.  

He didn’t give Sam another chance to provoke him before threw a hit to the side of Sam’s jaw, enough to get him off balance, but not to leave bruising. Bucky knew better than to throw full force with a friendly in the ring, no matter how much of a pain in his ass Sam was, but it would certainly give him the advantage he needed. Maybe leave a red mark for an hour or so. Just enough to make him regret betting against his own teammate.  

Sam stumbled back from the impact of the hit and Bucky made a quick turn for a roundhouse kick where he’d usually use his left hand for additional damage. Sam grunted, knocking away Bucky’s leg before it could land and rushed at him. He got in a good hit on Bucky’s left side, but that was an easy move – some might say, a coward’s move – as he was defenseless on his left.

Though when Sam attempted to get him on that side again, Bucky turned his shoulder, blocking his left side from the attack and grabbing Sam’s wrist midair with his right. Sam looked at him with wide eyes, in shock, before Bucky simply smirked and kicked his right leg to the back of Sam’s knees.  

He let out a yelp as he knees buckles and it sent him tumbling onto the mat with a heavy thud. Bucky quickly took the advantage and threw the full of his bodyweight on Sam’s back. He settled in, purposely digging his tailbone into Sam’s spine and pushing as much as his weight onto him as he could.  

He sat there, whistling to himself as Sam started to scramble under him. The rookies were laughing under their breath as they watched in hoards beyond the edge of the ring. Seemed Sam’s challenge made rounds in the rumor mill and the new recruits wanted a front row seat to the Bureau’s top agents facing off in the ring.  

“You gonna get your fat ass off of me, tough guy?” Sam grumbled, trying to pull himself from under Bucky, but it was no use.  

“I don’t know, man, are you gonna apologize for thinking you had any chance in beating me in the ring, even with one arm tied behind my back?” Bucky taunted, grinning ear to ear as he glanced up to the ranking board hung from the rafters from their year in the academy. Sure, he was listed at number two, but his ego wasn't big enough to believe he’d ever take first when the All-American-Golden-Boy Steve Rogers was in play. At least he wasn’t sitting at fourth place like a certain incapacitated agent he knew.  

“Bite me, Barnes!”

“Maybe I will, don’t temp me.”

“I’m going to kill you. I’m actually going to kill you.”

“What in the hell are you two doing?!”

Bucky looked up to find Steve pushing his way through the hoard of rookies gathered off the side of the ring watching the match with handfuls of cash passing between pockets. Steve shoved his way to the front of the crowd, hands on his hips as he saw the two of them at the center of the ring. He slumped his shoulders, a heavy sigh on the exhale.  

“Do I have to ask?” he rolled his eyes, gesturing to Bucky’s hand tied behind his back and Sam’s constant wiggling around as he tried to escape from under Bucky’s weight. “You realize you’re acting like children, right?”

Bucky shrugged. “It’s not my fault he can’t keep his mouth shut.”

“I am going to mess you up so bad,” Sam threatened under his breath, but it was loud enough Bucky could hear it, so he leaned further against Sam’s back, adjusting his position as he wacked Sam on the back of the head. It pulled another groan out of him, at least, as he continued to try and crawl his way out. 

“Hey dummies,” another voice called, low and sultry, carrying over the rafters in an echo and sending a hush through the rookies despite the calm nature of the tone.  

Red hair tossed in a bun at the nape of her neck with loose strangles hanging out the sides, Natasha Romanoff eyed Bucky and Sam amusingly before she turned to Steve with raised brows. He shook his head in response.

“What’s up, Nat?” Sam asked nonchalantly as he propped his chin up on his hand, as if he wasn’t currently pinned under one-hundred-and-eighty pounds of muscle.

Nat smirked, lips pushing out as she leaned against the ropes of the ring. “Fury’s looking for us. We’ve got a new job.”

Steve started to break up the crowd as Bucky pulled himself to his feet. Sam, he noticed, was rather dramatic as he used the ropes for support and clutched onto his back as he walked, sending glares in Bucky’s direction.

“You gonna help me get this tape off my arm?” Bucky called after him, rather annoyed at his current predicament, but Sam only scoffed.  

He ended up roping some doe-eyed recruit from the Naval academy to unwrap his wrist and unwind the tape trapping his left arm to his side. The kid’s hand shook nearly the whole time.

***

Fury noticeably wasn’t pleased when he found Bucky and Sam shoving at each other like teenage brothers as they made their way into the conference room. Natasha was already seated at the front of the table, closest to the Director, and Steve was leaning against the wall, arms crossed as he sent them a warning glare.  

Bucky nudged Sam one last time and sent him a short wink before escaping to the chair closest to Steve. Sam slid in beside Natasha and they turned to the Director. He only had one good eye unobstructed by the black patch that sat over veined scars protruding from underneath and even still, Bucky could tell Fury had enough.  

“Now that we’re all settled,” he started calmly, though there was an accusation in his tone. Sam slumped into his seat as Fury slid a series of folders down the table, one for each of them. A projector lit up against the wall, displaying an image of an octopus-like creature with a skull for a head and six curving tentacles emerging from the center.  

“Hydra?” Nat questioned, surprised as she grabbed one of the folders from the middle of the table.  

Fury nodded, hands on his hips. He was proud, it seemed, like he’d been waiting on this one for a while.  

Bucky flipped open the file, a name listed in the top corner that was not his own, unlike the rest of his team sitting around him. Under it, an entire lifetime’s worth of history, of family memories and previous employments, of likes and dislikes. Bucky glanced over it, taking note of the important bullets, like the one that said he had a meeting with the head of Hydra in one week’s time.

It wasn’t the first identity he had taken on and he didn’t suspect it would be the last. Bucky Barnes had spent more of his time since his discharge from the Army and recruitment to the Bureau playing the part of a criminal than as himself.  

He had an exceptional ability to compartmentalize, to lock himself behind the walls he worked tirelessly to build. It was the reason he was able to so easily lose himself to any identity handed to him; read the file, learn the backstory, become someone new. It was refreshing, in a way, to escape from himself and into someone else entirely.

No strings. No commitments. Only the case. Only the end results.

Damn the collateral damage.  

His first cover was in an underground sex trafficking ring a few years back in Atlanta where he operated under the name Brian Victor. He worked his way into the system, posing as a John, walking amongst the likes of vile and heinous men, and dismantled the entire system from the inside, rescuing near sixty-seven young, terrified girls who had been kidnapped and brought across state lines.  

After that, he was employed on a weapons manufacturing plant in Alaska where he took on the role of Alex Smith, a low-level crewman on the shipment yard where mariners were importing illegal bumps and accessories from Russia. That job took him nearly a full year to complete but he didn’t mind that much. He’d liked the locals, poor suckers who found themselves roped up in a scheme far greater than any of them realized. He’d been sure to advocate for their release when they were taken in with the higher-ups.  

Only a week after the final trial, Bucky was given a new identity; one named Chris Roswell, a street seller for an extensive drug trafficking operation in Santa Barbara. Part of his identity was to infiltrate a crew of gang members on the west side that recruited vulnerable kids who shouldn’t have been out on the streets in the first place. He didn’t care for Chris Roswell much and he was happy to be rid of the character once the supplier was taken off the streets.  

In his most recent job, he spent few months as Noah Crestal, a wealthy businessman with an inherited trust fund, who ran with spoiled rich kids and call girls and disassembled an entire underground gambling ring in Baltimore.  

But he was never alone.

While he was on his own in the field, he had a team who kept an eye on him, watched his back, hacked into security systems, and made sense of the evidence he retained.

There was Steve Rogers, the team leader and Bucky’s best friend since childhood. An asthmatic, lanky sort of kid with a startling knack for trouble who grew up to be twice his own size. He finally learned to fit his reckless attitude into a body that could support a few punches and currently held the physical training course record at the Bureau.  

Then, there was Sam Wilson, a grade A pain in Bucky’s ass and a damn good fighter pilot in his air force days. Sam was responsible for making sense of the evidence Bucky brought back from his undercover meetups and monitoring for talk on Bucky’s identity, to ensure his cover was secure. When he wasn’t relentlessly mocking Bucky and flirting with the rookies, he was a decent agent and a better friend. He was a brother in arms and off the field. Fought like one, too.  

The last of the crew was Natasha Romanoff. A woman with more fire power in the tips of her fingernails than most men had in their entire body, Natasha was an ex-KGB agent who defected to the US following a shitshow of trauma and general maltreatment by her home country. She was the primary tech god in the Bureau and spent most of her time these days behind a keyboard. She’d spent enough time in the field and she wasn’t eager for more.  

This team was what allowed Bucky to take on new names, to dive deep undercover into new identities without fear of losing himself completely. There was always a hand stretching out to him to pull his body back to the surface when he needed it. He’d seen a lot in his years in undercover work, been asked to do things to protect his cover he’d never talk about again outside of his debriefings with Fury, and it was easy to forget who exactly Bucky Barnes was under all those lies.

His team kept him in track. It’s what made them so successful, how they were able to go from one city to the next, throw Bucky into a criminal underworld with a new name, and bring massive operations to justice.  

New name. New city. New criminals to take down.

James Karpov was just the next name on the list.

“Rumlow’s down a hitman,” Fury explained, clicking the remote on the slide as a man with dark brown hair and cold, brown eyes appeared on the screen.  

Bucky had seen that face before. He'd heard about the infamous mafia boss Brock Rumlow and his extensive team of lawyers who have been able to get him out of every charge the NYPD has been able to throw in his direction.  

He saw to the distribution of fentanyl laced drugs to the street of New York, the manufacturing of assault weapons, and the ordering of dozens of executions in the last month alone. He was a monster by anyone’s standards and Bucky could already feel the eagerness churn in his stomach. This was a job he was going to enjoy.  

“This is Jack Rollins,” Fury said as an image of a mug shot appeared next to Rumlow’s. “He was Rumlow’s last enforcer before he had the unfortunate luck of actually being arrested for his crimes. Damn field day down at the DA’s office when they finally nailed him.” Fury clicked to the next image as a crime scene photo displaying a very discolored Rollins lying with his eyes open, arm handing off the side of the bed. “He was also conveniently murdered in lock up while awaiting trial just a few days ago.”

“Bummer,” Sam snickered, nudging Natasha’s shoulder and earning a smirk in response. Rollins was behind dozens of murders under his time in Hydra. It was no real loss.

“This is our opportunity to infiltrate Hydra,” Fury continued, ignoring Sam’s remark. He leaned further onto the conference table, black leather of his trench coat swinging at his knees. “Barnes will meet with Rumlow next week to take on the role of the enforcer.”

“So, like a job interview?” Natasha raised an eyebrow, clearly amused.  

Fury shrugged. “Yeah, I suppose.”

Bucky thumbed through the file, skimming at the pages of information on Rumlow and his known associates; glancing over decades of monstrous crimes and gruesome crime scene photos. It was all pretty standard, nothing exceptionally out of the ordinary, except for Rumlow’s inflated ego and knack for theatrics. 

The pages were filled with crimes he’d been arrested for, crimes he’d been suspected of, and the all the ones in between. Each with their own summary as to why he was never brought it, why the charges were dropped, or how witnesses suddenly went missing hours before the trial, how evidence disappeared from lock up before it could be submitted to the court. Brock Rumlow was an entitled piece of work, it seemed, though that was no news to Bucky. 

Then, towards the back of the file, Bucky stumbled upon a single page nestled into the binding, one that took him by surprise because the image in the top right corner wasn’t that of a mugshot or one taken from a surveillance camera, it was an employee ID from Columbia.  

A bright, vibrant smile and eyes that lit up on the page, it seemed incredibly out of place amongst Rumlow’s rap sheet. Below the image, accomplishments were listed of various degrees held, charity functions hosted, employment at a prestigious university teaching courses in literary fiction and writing composition. All of which seemed to come to an abrupt halt three years ago.  

Bucky wondered if the page had been put in his file by mistake. That was, until he saw the last name listed in the top right corner.  

Y/n Rumlow. Wife of the head of Hydra.

Fury straightened his back, glancing down at his team as they absorbed themselves in the files, Steve already making notes in the margins as Natasha pulled out her laptop and the small clicks of her keyboard filtered through the concentrated silence. Sam was on his phone, calling up a contact from his former air force days who might have had some knowledge of the Rumlow family, but Bucky... Bucky was still stuck on the last page, the page with the woman who didn’t seem to fit in this world of crime and violence.  

“Get acquainted with your new identity, Barnes,” Fury ordered. “We’re taking down Hydra.”