#now that my life is at stake
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#tw abusive parent#iām gonna be real angry real quick#my dad reached out to my mom about me bc of the election results#saying that heās available to speak whenever wherever if i want to#iām so fucking livid that it took a shit election for my dad to pull his head out of his ass and do this#why couldnāt he have done this in may?#why now?#is it because i am probably having to leave the country because of tr*mp?#i feel like heās only doing this to ease his conscious#like heās dying and heās tying up loose ends#i wasnāt worth his time in may but i am now#now that my life is at stake#i feel fucking disgusting
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Vanha Kauppahalli date: en full, a 2 minute 50 second masterpiece...
Primetime Panthers | 11.6.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#the global series is a gift#āalright talk to me what do we got?ā with the camera following behind them makes it seems like theyre spies doing reconnaissance#the start to a thriller where they got sent to finland stake out for intelligence#maffhew not even waiting for sasha to answer before hes asks about chocolate#āthe purple one you always bringā maffhew has been charmed by sashas leaving choco in stalls as gifts when he comes back from finland huh#you can tell he says that with depravity of a man who finally realises he doesnt need to rely on his supplier he can get it himself now#āuh oh [laughs] okay... what is this?ā maffhew was not prepared for all the food to already be ready for him he just hopped off a plane and#expected to have to wait more and did not and absolutely does not trust the situation in the same way you get romantic candlelit-dinnered#and youre like alright whats all this then whats your angle what are you doing#āthis is salmon and rye bread šā ā(with the eagerness to prove hes smart and engaged) so is that šā ā(charmed) and so is that š«±ā#āill try your favourite firstā GURL RELAX OKAY SETTLE DOWN YOURE IN A NEW COUNTRY JUST CHILL MAN#āsalmon and rye breadāthats the famous one š¤ā [sasha nodding along because he has to reassure maffhew but also hes in the middle of eating]#maffhew choosing the most inopportune time and you can TELL sasha is like [swallows quickly] because he wants to answer but also BIG BITE#āherringā āherrin' š¤ ?ā āeating all this her-RINGā no notes#āis this just another salmon on rye breadā he says with hope because he likes salmon but also disappointment (he wants to try more foods)#ādifferent salmon? smoked?ā the amount of questions hes askijg because hes so terribly engaged he wants to know and sashas like [shrug]#he has to get an A+ in experiencing finland which is normal to want and possible to achieve#āi still love your country thoughā and sasha explodes into the mirthful grin ive seen in my life like he just won the damn jackpot#he speaks at 100 mph like please take a deep breath sweetheart youre excitement is papable but PLEASE#THE WAY HE GETS SO UNSURE WHEN HE MENTIONS BARKY HATES THAT FOOD WHEN HE LIKED IT SO MUCH#MAFFHEW YOU CAN GET A PASSING GRADE IN EXPERIENCING FINLAND IF YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS I PROMISE#SASHA HELP A GUY OUT HERE MAN THROW HIM A BONE#SASHA ONLY LAUGHS AS MAFFHEW THROWS HIMSELF INTO A TIZZY OVER THIS YOU ARE SOOOOOO#the chuckle when sasha mentions he had runebergin torttu in school... id like to know what was funny there#we call out sasha for being too lovesick and laughing at all of maffhews ājokesā BUT HES JUST AS BAD???#āwhat the hell do i do with this thing?ā MAFFHEW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN MERENGUE IN YOUR LIFE???
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Each time I start a project I'm allowing myself one "LOOK! I'M CREATING!" post to get it out of my system. I've had so much nervous excited antsy energy with all the TDTEBU news that it's gotten me to revitalize projects that have been collecting dust for over 4 years!
#not to inspire false hope but it's been a very very very very very long time since i've been so excited for something of my own creation and#been able to see it so clearly so! i hope you will enjoy when it's finished#it's very low stakes and silly but it's a good outlet to expell all of this antsy energy because the anticipation for this film has made a#WRECK OUT OF ME#lt#not bad for a guy that never took a lesson in his life!#also shoutout if you remember what this is originally... now that i know how to properly storyboard it's gonna be so much better
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honestly one of the most disgusting things ppl can do is weaponize the various atrocities occurring around the world to "gotcha" people online and win The Morality Game.
Especially if the ppl you're going after are part of those targeted.
#serious tria#grow up for real#no really what DO you want#if you want everything to be black and white all evil or all good how do YOU propose solving the chronic issues around the world?#no really give me your perfect plan with no grays involved#I'll wait#we all want things to go perfectly & have no moral issues involved#unfortunately that's not how life is now#and we have to fight for it bit by bit#cissplain my wife ONE more time#this is shitting on queer ppl for non-perfect rep over actual queerphobes all over again#tria rants#also if there is a shitty law in action who do we want in charge#the people who are likely to not abuse it & maybe see reason?#or the people who will weaponize it to harm millions#b/c that's the stakes here#sorry I'm sick & cranky#I need sleeep
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DATV Spoilers Just in Case!) Iāve seen a head canon floating around that when solas puts a mage!Rook in the regret prison, it tranquilizes them. What do you think Viagoās reaction to this happening to a Crow!Rook would be?
i think there's a small terrible part of viago that instinctively thinks it was a bad investment/solution to send rook off with varric, since he's lost one of his best assassins. and then of course he hates that this is his first reaction because rook is more than that to him, but he's been conditioned by their lives to worry about his power and the mission first. and then i think he throws himself into trying to prove that he is a better man than that by finding a cure, without being obvious about it, even if his worry actually makes him messier and obvious. a similar outward reaction to what i've seen people headcanon about how he feels when he gets the news that rook is stuck in the fade trap in general (anger, determination, frustration, etc)
the idea of viago as a man who clings to "i rose to this rank for a reason, above the other crows. i'm a killer but with my poisons, i'm cleaner. i'm royalty. i'm better." is so beautiful to me. who he wants by his side/publically allies with is made more interesting to me for that reason. rook and teia make a very short list, so for him to lose either of them (especially to a fate worse than death. like i know there's a cure but i'm not sure if that's common knowledge and it has rammys bro) will inevitably cause a crash out the likes of which thedas may have never seen before <3
#tho also i have no fucking clue. i love viago and his high strung freakish tendencies#but a lot of this is just me thinking of viago and not necessarily this specific ask. sorry anon#there are other people on here with a better grasp on vi#and i plan to keep it this way because the moment i have to think of him as a mentor figure#it pollutes my vision board for him. LOL#i don't think i'll ever play a de riva rook because i'll ruin my own experiment#this is my control variable. it's a wildlife documentaryā¦#just because the baby crow is about to be cannibalised doesn't mean i'm going to stop it from happening#sorry. i know i said all that and im now saying 'but idk' but its true#my understanding of viago i think is mixed at best. i have not read the comics he is in and#8 little talons is very much a high stakes scenario where he hates literally everything thats happening#so that might not be a perfect judge of character. ive never seen this guy relaxed ever#tho saying this. this is probably his default state LOL#viago de riva#txt#anonymous#answered#it just feels a bit weird for me to enjoy 'the crows are morally grey' but then be like 'not my favorite talon viago tho'#i think viago should mistreat rook. for my sake. but then i would feel weird. which is why i shouldnt speak on it#i cannot be an unbiased party LOL. like im not saying he /directly/ abused rook#because i think w his age and timelines it just wouldnt be him. but i also dont think he's fucking speaking up and going#'NO MORE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT! I'LL PROTECT YOU ROOK!'#like be serious. thats a grown man near the top of the hierarchy. just another crow so used to abuse#and double crossing and violence that he takes it as a normal and given for his life/world#which obviously. like. creates issues in his personal life. whether thats with teia or with rook. lmfao.#especially with a guy this paranoid. he just strikes me as the guy to intentionally hurt rook so others dont recognise his weakness#'they need to see me punish you so that they won't kill you' <- totally normal thought to have viago you're so normal
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you wanna talk about stress YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT STRESS? I've stumbled onto a MAJOR conspiracy how bout THAT for STRESS
#dnd#dungeons and dragons#character art#illustration#gnome#wizard#pepe silvia#a friend asked 'what is melliwyk's pepe silvia' and OH BOY WHAT ISN'T LMAO#she's been sinking her little teeth into Mysteries and Conspiracies since the campaign started!! it's CONSPIRACIES: THE GAME#can't tell you how many times I've spent HOURS after a session doing this in real life with/ at my husband kfjdkjfhgdf#extremely fun extremely rewarding#although IN CHARACTER for melliwyk it's getting SO STRESSFUL because the stakes are increasingly serious lol :'D#to BE fair we don't have a lot of unsolved mysteries right this second actually#a lot of being in a 'now what do we Do About It' phase of things instead#regardless: this is an evergreen melliwyk vibe and I cannot believe it's taken me this long to actually draw it#considering how often I've mimed frantic pinboarding while discussing this campaign's events lmaooo#my OCs#melliwyk#vale walkers#dungeons and doodles
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yknow, the plot structure of veilguard feels very mass effect 2
#the actual main conflict is fairly static and itās more about Team Building#just once again very funny for someone to go#āthe stakes are literally an end to life as we know it but actually the most important thing for you to focus on is#making sure everyone on your team reaches self-actualizationā#and i STILL have not finished but i donāt really buy the whole āhelping your friends hurts the gods because it gets rid of powerful peopleā#most of the things theyāre dealing with have not shown up outside of their quests and have no connection to the gods yknow#johanna hezenkoss is on a level with like. ronald taylor. ādamn thatās fucked up but why was this put on my plate right nowā#mine#datv liveblog#datv spoilers
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While I intend this blog to remain a largely news-free space due to the constant hellstate of the world, let me be clear that I stand in full support of both the Palestinian and Jewish peoples who are currently experiencing relentless hate and suffering in these horrid times.
I am disgusted at the number of people, especially "progressives" on this website who have used this situation to spread both Islamophobia and Antisemitism. This goes double if you dared to reblog those "punch nazis/fascists <3" and "[x] are welcome here!" posts while in the next breath spreading dangerous fucking narratives that kill people.
So many people in online political spaces evidently see this as nothing more than a case of picking "sides", when ultimately what matters is supporting the oppressed against fascist governments and militias, wherever they are.
Common people will always have more alike with each other than their leaders. This is not a novel concept. Your activism should always be motivated by love and compassion first, and hatred second. If you use your beliefs as an excuse to find an acceptable target to vent your hatred towards regardless of the actual material outcome, you are no fucking activist.
You're a bigot.
#current events#antisemitism#islamophobia#scrawny rambles#scrawny speaks#again i have not been saying much both for the fact that this blog is meant to be a quiet place#and that i do not consider myself to be a reliable source of serious information and/or morals#but regardless i have been watching i have been taking note#i see you i hear you#and while i am currently in no position to materially help right now#the moment i can i will#i don't like signalling this kind of thing because i want it to be evident in how i *act*#but as this cannot be taken as a given i will say this:#you are welcome here. i am so sorry the world is hateful and vile and i wish i could wipe it all away.#you and your folk did nothing to deserve this and you are right to be scared. and i wish to give you my love.#fascism and genocide are not things to be taken lightly. bigoted 'jokes' are vile and dangerous. human life is what's at stake.#we are heading into a wave of hate that has the potential to repeat history in the worst way imaginable. get a fucking grip.#i'm unlikely to address this further as again. reasons stated above. but i wanted to make my stance clear.#it is late as fuck and i'm pissed. people who should know better miss the fucking memo completely.#i'm fucking glad i unfollowed a popular blogger when i did because look what they're posting now. antisemetic 'jokes'.#i really wonder how common this shit truly is. how many people get away with cloaking themselves as 'progressive.'#or perhaps they genuinely think they are. cognitive dissonance is one hell of a drug. fuck them regardless. scum.#you are no progressive. you are a bigot. a leftist bigot is a bigot regardless of how 'revolutionary' you posture to be.#anyhow apologies for any errors. again. it's late. hope you guys are doing well <3
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I think a key thing to remember when judging all those "Astarion/Minthara/Lae'zel disapproves" reactions to like... helping orphans is that in context they're often rather realistic and practical considering what's being asked of them. If anything it's the more good-aligned companions willingness to drop everything and risk their lives to help randos in need of help that is unreasonable to expect.
Remember, from their perspective things like save-scumming are not real. They cannot metagame and prepare for what specific enemy or attack they might face. In-universe, death has consequence and you can die. Plus we're on an unknown time limit here to potential squid-ifying, not to mention their own personal baggage.
It's like... they're playing blind and on Honour Mode, and the consequences of failure isn't just a story going the way you might not like or your fave character dying. It's actual life and death. There are real stakes here for them.
So while yes they can approve of just... petty asshole stuff or even genuinely evil stuff, it's not unreasonable for them to have a problem with risking their lives for random strangers. Because if they're in your party, that's what you're doing. Making the choice to put their lives on the line for strangers. If anything they're all oddly brave and ride-or-die for whatever bullshit decisions you make from the start--I mean it takes a lot of reckless altruism while also being an asshole to them specifically (it's not hard to balance their approval by being nice to them directly on a good playthrough) to get them to hate you, let alone ditch the group.
#bg3#I feel like as players we get blinded by all our player knowledge and how the stakes feel to US#that we forget to look at how they impact the characters in-universe#like my previous post on how the Emperor has very sympathetic and understandable reasons for manipulating you#and is even quite restrained and fair considering what the stakes are for it#like with how the math actually plays out. Astarion will grumblingly put his life on the line for whatever side quests you want to go on#and will still come to like and trust you so long as personally you're supportive of him and his bodily autonomy#and even the more power-hungry evil stuff... Minthara and Astarion usually approve of such for very practical (if ruthless)#reasons because for them power = safety#Minthara is actually very chill and trusting of your judgment considering how she lived prior to joining us on our quest#to help every kitten stuck in a tree#and Lae'zel is actually very compassionate. it just presents very aggressively and selectively#and like obviously as adventurers now risking their lives is kinda par for the course#but I still can't judge them entirely for disliking being volunteered out for charity work with no guaranteed reward#and a very real chance of death
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shaffrillas has released a "favorite zelda character poll"
time to vote for characters that will totally make it high up in the rankings, yep, some real heavy hitters that everyone knows and arent obscure at all
#RAVIO SWEEP#but for real#im just hoping enough people vote for fsa manga characters that he is forced to acknowledge its existence#oh man i know the video will be a ways away from now but now im hyped to see who gets what#because unlike the mario one where i feel like we all knew luigi was gunna win#im really not sure who'll win this#midna will defo get top 5 tho i would stake my life on it#train talk
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For maximum amusement i interpret phoenixes childhood either:
THE Most tragic (think dead parents, he was raised by a live alivator in a traveling circus before being taken to a gothic style orphanage run by a vampire cult, he was one of the kids in battle royal, three seperate foster families he lived with disappeared into sink holes, he spend his early teens cage fighting etc. etc.) yet it's absolutely never mentioned.
OR he had the most normal, average childhood one could possibly have and for absolutely no reason he's still completely unhinged. his entire family is alive, yet they're never mentioned, never show up despite him being disgraced and jobless with a newly adopted child and he seems completely ambivalent If not entirely unaware of their absence. and we never get an explanation about an of it.
personally i 100% have to go with the latter, every time. it is absolutely imperative to phoenix's character (to me) that he had the most normal, average, BORING childhood in the world because it just makes the fact that he held on to edgeworth standing up for him in a stupid class trial for Fifteen Fucking Years so much more wild. literally the most average joe alive save for his protagonist hair and protagonist name and yet he speedran law school just to see his childhood friend (who he was only friends with for a very brief time, all things considered???) again. the former option is just apollo, which i think is fantastic in its own way because apollo tries so fucking hard to be normal. he's like the inverse of phoenix. phoenix "my childhood was so normal! i will now chase down a man i have not had contact with in a decade and a half over a lunch money class trial incident when we were children" wright and apollo "i was raised on the run from an oppressive regime by the leader of a revolutionary group. i am now a normal lawyer guy who lives for needless procedures please assume i'm normal please please please please" justice
#sorry now i'm just thinking of that one line in turnabout revolution where apollo's like we should get groceries for that kid#and dhurke's like No. Let His Food Run Out. Then He Will Have To Leave The House#and apollo's just like damn lmao talk about your old-school siege tactics......#it's so fucking funny. phoenix is fucking bonkers but i truly do believe in my heart of hearts#that some part of him is more normal than apollo. phoenix had a normal childhood!!!! i would stake my life on that claim#asks
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moving to ny has made me change a lot in the past 1.5 years or so because i had to to survive but i think it made me someone who i always wanted to but never actually thought i could be. it's going to be interesting to see how i feel going back home with people who knew a different version of me.
#i feel like everything about life is harder but also more vibrant#i feel more alive than i have in years but i also see so clearly where i can do more and change for the better#before i feel like i was in a stasis of mild depression and i was just ok with my life#now that i feel actually in control of my life and willing to take control for the first time the stakes are higher but so are the rewards#i cry every single week as opposed to every few months but i also love harder and feel more#and i finally finally just dont care what strangers think. that used to control everything i did.#i think moving aside i was just desperate to avoid being responsible for my own life until very very recently and now i accept it#frontal lobe development or whatever u wanna call it
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No offense to anyone who likes it but I just donāt get the ācozyā genre. I donāt read a book to feel cozy I read a book to have my brain rewired lol
#just my preferences#cozy romance wym why arenāt there life or death stakes#whereās the codependency & psychosexual madness#cozy mystery? the mystery has to involve gore or im not that interested#or at least a dead body if not gore then some kind of intense emotions behind the mystery#cozy fantasy I really donāt get sorry why is an orc a barista#you have completely missed the appeal of fantasy characters like orcs if theyāre domestic#thatās my hater moment sorry itās just not my thing it doesnāt make it bad I just get bored#& so many books now that have like no romance in them sound so bland :ā^(#I donāt want them healthy I want them obsessed with each other at the risk of everyone else lol#my post
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thinking about the person i could have been if i tried a little harder to find my own way
#probably the thing i am resenting my parents for right now is how good they were at convincing me#not to pursue any career paths other than the ones they laid out#every time i was like hey this seems interesting should i check it out? they would be so quick with the#do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it? to do it for your whole working life?#and obviously 8 yo 12 yo 14 yo 17 yo 18 yo me would get terrified and go no sorry and just not look into anything further#supposedly this is the safe option but everything i do feels meaningless#all of the jobs in this field seem meaningless#the job market in this field right now is dog shit and I'm fighting like hell for positions that just make me sad to think about#but every time i think hey what if i tried another thing#now my brain shuts me down with the do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it#your whole life on it#and the answer is no and it's gonna be no for a long time i bet#don't know if I'll ever find my way out of it#told my roommate's boyfriend about my general dispassion for pretty much everything in life#he asked me if I'm even a person#which feels very true#i feel like this path I've followed if i keep following it#I'm not going to be a person i can be proud of#i know it's really early in my life to say but#idk if it's nature or nurture or my own damn fault but all the ambition has been weaned out of me and I've been getting just surviving#i just wish i got told more you can be whatever you want to be :)#instead of whatever you'll do you'll be good at so do what makes money and push your hobbies to the side you can do them after you retire#your mom likes this and you're good at it so you'll like it too it'll make you money this is the best thing#the other thing is harder and doesn't make as much money don't do that you won't like it that much i bet#when i was younger#maybe I'd be struggling more but I'd be really happy and fulfilled#or maybe this is genuinely the best timeline and eggs who tried to pursue art hates it now#maybe I'd be really stupid at all the other things i gave a passing glance at#eggsistential speaks#tag rant
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hurting me. hurting me. toby whithouse showrunner of being human uk and sarah dollard writer of episode 5.05 "no care all responsibility" you are hurting me. why did you do this to me personally.
#eleven years of psychic damage coming direct to my brain via my optic nerve and ear canals. it has not dulled.#when I was eleven I had a self insert fantasy about walking into this show and delivering real (not devilish trick) supernatural cures#now my self insert fantasy is walking into this show and a) delivering harm reduction pamphlets modified for vampirism#and b) freezing time in the middle of that fight and calmly mopping up enough blood to display The Fucking Knife Wound#I would have stopped it. I don't care about the devil from the bible. I would have fucking stopped it. with the power of one (1) dish rag.#HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE BLOOD ON HIS FACE!!! JUST HIS CHEST!!! DO YOU THINK HE WAS USING A STRAW???#that. okay yeah that actually sounds like a hal move. okay. fine. he would do that.#hal my og poor little meow meow I'm so sorry that they thought you did this one murder#and not the other murder you committed and successfully concealed a few episodes ago.#THE NATASHA FEEDING SCENES. WHYAT THE FUCK. her THIGH. the TIMER AND STAKE. HURTING ME. AAAA.#being human#marina marvels at life#edit WAIT HANG ON SARAH DOLLARD IS ACTIVE ON TUMBLR. hello sorry if you name search yourself mx dollard. I like this episode a lot.
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I've been memeing on Dazai and leaning on the theories that's its all his plan he's doing this to convince fyodor and Sigma etc but it didn't hit me at all till watching episode 8 that he may have been genuinely trying to reach Chuuya by mentioning their partnership
Like I do think Dazai was being honest in that speech but the anime has made me think he is trying to get into chuuya's head and ch 109 kept springing up in my mind while watching
That implies that there isn't a 100% certainty he's conscious yet in ch 109
But Dazai has already placed his trust and life on Chuuya at that point too
#its wild. Im really hung up over this i need to ramble in the tags to get it off my chest#bsd spoilers#(kit)^2#chuuya isnt conscious but Chuuya's life is in Dazai's hands in this dangerous plan#which is one main reason its upsetting to dazai#since dazai is always upfront of the high stakes in the situations theyre in and asks for Chuuya's agreement on plans#chuuya got dragged into this. Chuuya is being used without his knowledge. As a weapon and as something that is not human#and dazai knows? predicts? that theyll survive the drowning room#but chuuya doesnt know that#doesnt know dazai isnt trying to kill him. That dazai has to trust fyodor to have a plan to survive yknow#the two scenes in his flashback are when they both understood each other. When it was life or death#so dazai is trying to project that. try to get chuuya to understand that this is a plan#To trust their partnership and history together that they will get out of this#And then later. Once more brings it up#After also seeing that he got a reaction from commenting on chuuya's punches#He was entrusted with chuuyas life and now he entrusts his with chuuya who is still vampirized ??#And it's some dead apple level of trust#...all this with the belief that's its all according to dazais plan#Rambling#My boy really had a misdirection an apology and a plea in one speech#Bsd#I'm going off by vibes. We still don't know the truth
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