#now shut up about it brain and go write

[tales-from-nocturnaliss]

If I could give a piece of advice to autistics like me, or simply autistics who struggle to navigate the world and wonder if there's any way to make the pressure of Changes in your brain alleviate at all:

Develop an obsession for finding solutions.

(and to autistics who can't: tl;dr ask someone like me to help you, I would be thrilled)

For the record: I used to be incapable of that. It is legit a skill I taught myself over time, mainly from becoming a better critic for my own writings (yes, skills cross-play with the rest of your life).

Situation: I'm a pretty big tea drinker. I don't like metal filters, I drink by the mug because I like to make different teas in a day. I therefore chose paper filters years ago, and have been happily using them ever since.

Problem: the store we go to stopped carrying them.

World-shattering problem: the brand stopped making them altogether.

Result: with only four filters left, I had to hurry to find an alternative that was still qualitative. I found some, ordered a box a couple of days ago, it arrived today... and the bags are HUGE. Size had not been mentioned, and the packaging made them look small and mug-sized. I am not happy. I'm still gonna use them, but my brain has now been looking for better alternatives for a couple of hours because cannot tolerate to not. Have. The. EXACT. Thing I used to have. Especially considering prices. Dunno what happened, but those quadrupled since last I bought a box a few months ago (no, it's not the size that does it, I checked).

Result 2: I know my brain, and I know it's gonna be a bitch about this filter business. It has been. It's driving me insane (and the husband I expect, who received a litany of comments on Discord as I searched/found potential alternatives/other sites to buy from). It just Can't Let Go, because tea, tea is important, I love tea, I NEED an alternative to coffee because it causes me depression, I need a simple alternative because I am not executively functional in the morning, when I have my first tea.

End result: did you know they make glass tube filters now?

My brain fell in love the moment it saw the photo, and has decreed the tube to be The Only Viable Alternative now. It's cheap, resusable, dishwasher safe, I do love glass items, and it's perfect for a single mug and oohhh I wanna see the leaves dance in my mug without getting into my mouth. It's perfect.

A perfect solution that I found because 1. I couldn't let the problem go (I feel like everyone'll understand me on that front <<), 2. I fixated on finding a different site that sells the right filters, 3. I remembered I have a stainless steel filter somewhere that I could try, but first googled its effects on health, 4. I found an article about that (in French) and discovered other available materials, 5. I googled glass filters out of curiosity and tadaaaaa. Which sounds like a lot of steps. But the hyperfixation + need to find a solution ASAP really breezed me through it.

And I know: not everyone is able to do this. To you who aren't able, I want to say: please, ask someone like me to help you find solutions. I LOVE finding solutions. I love the search, I love the dopamine I get from finding something, and I also love to make people happy, which is extra dopamine. Can't guarantee I'll find these solutions if they're country-specific, but you can bet I'll try to help you to the best of my ability because, yes, I believe we ALL deserve some happiness. And some help.

And now I can finally stop procrastinating but my brain really demanded I write this up to conclude this Tea Chapter. Thank you for tuning in, see you next time my routines are disrupted and/or shattered.

Edit: I have now called myself a tealchemist to the husband and understood exactly why the tube thing appeals to me. Alchemists are a big part of Aeyuu('s issues... XD;)

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[hurricanek8art]

Thank you @tiredassmage for the literal swift kick in the pants and behold the inaugural K8's SWTOR OC Bio extravaganza (maybe?!?! I don't know what I'm doing and I'm still not happy with this but anyways 🥴). Starting with:

Aja Verdona: The Commander

Homeworld: Naboo (birth world; Odessen (adopted)

Born: 3664BBY/21 ATC (age 21 at start; frozen in carbonite for 5 years, currently 34)

Species: Human

Occupation: Commander of the Eternal Alliance

Affiliations: Jedi Order, Eternal Alliance

Romances: Rass Ordo

Masters: Several, most prominently Connelly Draay (OC) and Orgus Din

Apprentices: Vega Kodral (OC)

Hero of Tython, Throne-breaker, Outlander, Commander—Aja Verdona has borne many titles throughout her life, but none have ever been able to outweigh her dedication and drive to protecting the galaxy. Arriving on Tython a hotheaded and arrogant young woman who was letting her 'grand destiny', her abandonment issues and her fear of failure push her to the edge, Aja found herself taken under the wing of Orgus Din. What followed was a whirlwind three years that saw her pushed to the edge of her sanity and beyond, the murder of the first Master to stick by her side despite all of her flaws and intensity, an eight-month stint as the mind-controlled pet attack dog of the Sith Emperor, and an unexpected quest to slay Vitiate once and for all. When that was undone by the actions of the Revanites several years later, Aja resumed her quest, determined to do what the Force had chosen her to do long before she was even born, leading her to mature and grow in the nearly two decades since her journey began, conquering her past anger, and defeated Tenebrae time and time again. But now that Tenebrae is gone, and new, different threats and challenges threaten to overwhelm her—the warmongering of Heta Kol, machinations of Darth Malgus, training a stubborn and determined young Padawan, and Aja's sudden, unexpected feelings for a Mandalorian warrior. Now, Aja is faced with a new question: what is she without the threat of Tenebrae constantly hanging over her head, especially now that a new prophecy threatens all she holds dear? And what will she choose to become?

[vanityangel]

"Jacob Fatu is what WWE always wanted Solo Sikoa to be." The same 5 songs. The same 5 songs. Wrestling fans, they play the same 5 fucking songs. Anyway, this is my incredibly long-winded rant about wrestling fans and Solo Sikoa's character.

To me, I think if Solo Sikoa was presented just like Jacob Fatu is now it would make zero fucking sense to his character. Even, or especially, to the parts they haven't really touched on much yet. Jacob is immediately presented to us as cold, emotionless (except like. anger.), a monster incapable of morals. He tears apart whatever stands before him without thought, just destruction in its purest form. As though this is just who he is and how he always has been. Solo wasn't always completely cold and merciless, not in NXT and not when he first joined The Bloodline. He was very closed off, but he was still human. There was still warmth to him. He still gave respect to his peers who he felt earned it, laughed and joked, he made friends or at least allies he was willing to trust enough to team up with. Solo wasn't a lost soul. He slowly became more "emotionless" in time after joining The Bloodline. The more he was left alone around Roman. And big notable moment of shift in his demeanor is when Sami left. Even when Jey at the time HATED Sami and Roman was still demanding him to prove his trust, Solo took to this weird little guy anyway. They became an odd couple pair. If Solo was always presented like Jacob, his progression into becoming so frustrated at Roman that he started to raise his voice and yell at him would have been nothing worth noting. Solo was quiet, Solo was calm. Solo operated like a machine; he took orders with seeming no regard to his own feelings on the matter and thus no expected pushback. Jacob is so like a ticking timebomb with everyone always on edge when he will explode. So chaotic and dangerous that even when he displays undying loyalty people expect him to pushback at any order at any given moment. Unhinged and unable to be leashed. Jacob is reactive. Solo was not. As Roman's enforcer, if Solo ever did seem to have his own opinion on something, he would look thoughtful and considering but kept it to himself. He has started off more vocal in the beginning, carrying into when he joined The Bloodline, but over time he retreated into a shell. He said nothing more than what was needed to be said. Despite being a family outcast Solo was brought to the main roster by the Elders orders, then acknowledged Roman without hesitation. Even when he propped himself as Tribal Chief he stated he would acknowledge Roman as the rightful Chief if he were to take the Ula Fala back, as if Roman had to earn it. Though where Solo's loyalty lies is always unclear, a loyalty no one can return in kind to him, he still seems to have his own idea of being loyal and earned respect. A system he believes. And Solo still has a vulnerability to him, one he even weaponizes. For Jacob's very debut Solo fell to the ground, pleading, eyes wide and doe-like enough to create pause before breaking into a maniacal laughter. Even talking about how the streets hardened him in his early NXT promos he had a vulnerability. A "hurt people hurt people" type who still seemed stung at being left behind and going forward is trying to prove his worth, that he does have value, to the very people who discarded him. He can bring gold to the family, he can keep them at the top no matter the sacrifice. What's best for the family above self. Jacob is unpredictable because no one knows what will set him off. Solo is unpredictable because no one knows which face is sincere. Solo and Jacob are not interchangeable.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[memento-morri-writes]

whump wednesday - part iii

tw / tags: concussion, blood, bleeding out, loss of consciousness character: Rook (who else?) status: canon (took place several irl months ago as part of Rook’s first “Horrible, Very Bad, No-Good Weekend”.) wordcount: 525

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Another continuation from earlier. The party has now made it back to the Winters' manor. Having lost a lot of blood since being revived (on top of his concussion), Rook is in pretty bad shape. His mentor, Sigmar, is attempting to get him to the Winters' healers.

Rook’s eyes drifted closed, the oblivion of sleep calling to him. A sharp prod at his side dragged them reluctantly back open.  “Rook, you need to stay awake. Just a little bit longer, until a healer can have a look at you.” Sigmar’s voice was serious as he half-dragged, half-carried Rook down the hall of the Winters’ manor.  Rook groaned in response. He was exhausted, and every inch of his body ached. He wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and fall headlong into unconsciousness. Sigmar prodded him again. “Tell me what happened to you. How you ended up in this state.”

Rook thought hard for a moment. How had he ended up like this? He remembered Celestia, and healing the party, and then- Oh, right. He started to explain, his words running together as he spoke. “This werewolf guy showed up. Deadringer?” Sigmar’s body tensed but he said nothing. “And he wanted Warren. Warren and Cherry, I think.” He paused, trying to remember what had happened after that. “He… he wanted to hurt them. So I told him he’d have to go through me first. And he said ‘Deal.’ and threw me across the room. I… I think one of his werebeasts killed me.” He felt rather than saw Sigmar shake his head. “I should never have left you. If I’d known she’d bring Deadringer into this… I shouldn’t have let you go off to fight someone like him without me.” Once again, Rook was surprised at the weight of the emotion in his mentor’s voice. He wanted to say It’s not your fault. Or maybe, I would have done it anyway, but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate. So instead he just rested his head on Sigmar’s shoulder. The damp chill that had come over him on the way here was getting stronger and he leaned into Sigmar’s warmth. “‘S cold,” he mumbled. Sigmar picked up the pace a bit, a worried edge creeping into his voice. “Come on, come on. Just a little further.” Rook’s eyes were heavy, and his awareness of the world was fading. He heard a door open, was vaguely aware of a brightly lit, white-painted room, of being laid down on a bed. He could hear people talking urgently, unfamiliar voices joining Sigmar’s. His muddled mind only caught fragments of their words. “Concussion… Severe… Significant blood loss… Not enough… ”  Sigmar’s raised voice cut through the fog. “Help him, damn you!” It sounded very far away, as though coming from another room. Multiple sets of hands touched his skin, and the familiar warmth of healing magic (when had being healed become familiar again?, he wondered dimly) flooded his body. The cold, clammy feeling faded away. The constant pain he had stopped registering some time ago subsided, leaving blissful neutrality in its wake. His head cleared slightly too, blurred reality coming back into focus for a brief moment. Distant voices reached his ears, borne by that momentary clarity. “It’s safe for him to sleep now. He’ll be fine after some rest.” As if his body needed no further reassurance, Rook’s mind relaxed, and within seconds he sank into a deep sleep.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

fire and the thud came on my spotify shuffle while me and my sister were listening to music this afternoon, and at the end of it she turns to me and goes “who was that? the lyrics sound like the kind of thing you’d write” and honestly i think it’s one of my favourite unintentional compliments i’ve ever received

[hailsatanacab]

Im like obsessed with your writing, the way you describe danny's emotions, his spiralling thoughts and their interactions. It feels so real, I'm crying for him.

Soo, just wondering if you'd be continuing 'close enough to be whole again' fic, totally understandable if you're taking a break! 👉🏻👈🏻

Thank you so much!! I'm glad cetbwa resonates so much with you, it never fails to amaze me when people say they like my writing 😅

As for the update, it's coming! I've almost finished writing the chapter, but then it'll need editing because we're almost at 14k words and that's... a lot. This next chapter's a lot. Prepare yourselves for it haha

[heartstringsduet]

😭😭😭😭😭😭

🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

[the-kipsabian]

i also dont know why i get such overwhelming feelings of stupidity and guilt these days when im blorbo posting. especially if its about kip. it just comes to me every time nowadays and i dont know why

[hurricanek8art]

So! Update on my SWTOR woes! I figure putting it in the main tag makes it so everyone that helped me sees it. Thank you everyone for your advice! I was so nervous about asking and you guys are so cool!

I'm planning on just doing Voss and Corellia for now to keep from burning out! This is like attempt three at me making a Jedi Knight because I wanted her to be my Outlander and then I'd freeze up and panic because I wanted it to be "perfect" but y'know what? Perfect's overrated anyway, this is supposed to be fun! I'll keep the other planetary storylines on the backburner in case I need to level up any further, but since I hit level 50 before I was out of chapter one and I thiiiink I hit 54 last night finishing Maelstrom Prison, I don't think I need to worry about my level being too low for a while. 🤣🤣🤣

(side note—thank you so much @greyias I GOT THE STUPID WHATSHISFACE COLONEL GUY WITH THE EYEBEAMS FINALLY 🤣 I do not know why I didn't think of using those crates as a shield before, I am so dumb :P)

You guys were so helpful and nice and I don't know what else to say I'm so bad at this 🥴🤣 but thank you! All of this actually helped me work up the courage to maaaaaaybe share my stuff? At least screenshots and backstory rambles because I have to share it somehow. I can only yammer my brother's ear off about it for so long, and he's the only other person I know IRL that's as into all this as me, so y'know. 🤣 I might make a masterpost to introduce everyone but I gotta gather up all my screenshots first and I'm kinda meh about getting good ones, so :P we'll see. And condense about two and a half/three-ish years of my brain hurtling backstories at me faster than I can write when I'm supposed to be writing other stuff into readable paragraphs. Uh... yeah, maybe don't expect it too soon. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm queuing this for tomorrow because I only got the chance to actually sit down and write this at midnight here, it's been crazy. Thank you again, everyone! I'm so bad at social stuff I don't know what else to say but thanks!

I don't know how to end this, so uh... Here! Unnecessarily adding all my Republic side characters in because I love them and I constantly want to infodump when it's not the time or place! 🤣

Aja Verdona, my Jedi Knight; Reilly Hawkins, my Smuggler; Ataraxia Kestis, my Consular (and my smuggler's twin sister); and Ijaaka Ordo, my Trooper. They have permanently rewired parts of my brain and I love them all dearly even though I accidentally play favorites with Aja. 🥴

[bi-bats]

ALSO!!! i wanted to let you know that i placed The Echo Wife and Vicious on hold at the library on your recommendation and theyre gonna take a while to get to me but im excited to read them!!! so thank u for the recs in your response to one of my asks a bit ago!!! 💕💕💕

SKSJSJSJSJAKAK YESSSSS I LOVE THOSE BOOKS SO SO MUCH OH MY GOD 😭😭😭 VICIOUS IS SINCERELY ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVES AND THE ECHO WIFE IS ONE OF MY MORE RECENT FAVES BUT AKSJSJSJKSKA PLEASE DM ME ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS WHEN YOU READ THEM I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THEM ALWAYS!!!

[egg2k16]

I never have anything left to do at 2am, so why do I constantly find myself anxious for it to roll around? To do what? Just anxiously refreshing tumblr? Waiting for discord to notify me with a new message?

oh fucking Christ, Lord above, is this because I have a fear of not being able to do things all the time. this fucking sucks man

[brightdeadthing]

.

[the-hanged-mans-ghost]

vent-ish rambling in the notes ig bc I can't think and my brain is fuzzy but I have Thoughts

[lunar-fey]

so. the new adhd med now that i am on a normal starting dose and actually feeling it at all. it doesn't quite feel like i have adhd^2 like the other one did. like that one felt not dissimilar to a manic episode. was not great. THIS one though is like........i still feel like i have a lot of thoughts and a lot to say and gotta GO. but i also am finding it easier to stop or start or change directions. basically...........what if i was just a chatter the whole time but my brain was too fucked...............