#now liam has actually someone by his side who fully appreciates him and gives him the praise he deserves

[coolerbritannia]

So true! It's so good to see how much John appreciates Liam and raves about his talents. Liam and John complement each other really well

It's really heartwarming how John Squire praises Liam and his talents in all the interviews. I love how he says that Liam turns everything into something amazing and how he knew it would be great as soon as Liam got involved and how he said he only had some riffs, but as soon as Liam was on board, they turned into songs and he wrote them with Liam in mind

I mean we all know how great Liam is, but it's always good when John says it out loud as Liam really deserves to receive such kind words from his partner who is on top of that also one of his biggest idols

[sfb123]

Stealing Moments

Book: The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir

Pairing: Liam x Riley

Summary: The Royal family spends the afternoon taking part in some pre-Easter (or preaster, if you will) activities.

Rating: G - I’m not going to sugar coat it (sugar is the last thing this story needs), this is some majorly fluffy stuff here. Even for me, and I’ve produced some pretty fluffy work.

Word Count: 1,947

A/N: So this story is a triple threat:

I am participating in @wackydrabbles prompt #88 “I meant every word.” Which will appear in bold.

I am also participating in the @choicesaprilchallenge2021, day 3 teal. That prompt will appear in italics.

I am also participating in @trraw, day 2 Liam. That prompt will appear in the form of a handsome and charming King.

A/N 2: This is an idea that I thought of while I was writing my upcoming Uncle Drake fic (you’ll see that one on Sunday), so I decided to write it up as a little prequel to that. Thank you to @jessiembruno for encouraging me to take my crazy throw away ideas and make them into something, and also by contributing this adorable moodboard. You are a Canva master. To think, not too long ago you hated it and cursed it out on the regs!

Tags: You know the drill, they’re down below. I hope you get it! If you want to be added or removed, let me know!

Liam sat in his study, wrapping up some paperwork before his next meeting when there was a knock on the door. “Come in.”

Bastien entered the room and shut the door behind him. “Sir, Lord Neville is demanding an audience with you. Immediately.” 

“Of course he is. Tell him I am unavailable, and to make an appointment with my assistant before he leaves.” 

“I did. I explained to him that you have an important afternoon meeting that could not be rescheduled. He didn’t appear to care.” Bastien chuckled to himself. This wasn’t the first time Neville had tried to weasel his way into an urgent meeting with the King.

Liam let out a deep breath as he stood, scrubbing his hand over his face. “Of course he didn’t. That’s fine, I need to get to my meeting anyway. I will tell him myself.” 

Almost immediately upon exiting his study, Neville was in his face. “Your Majesty, I have an urgent matter that requires your immediate attention-”

Liam held up a hand, silencing him. “I’m sure you do, Lord Neville. Unfortunately, I am on my way to a very important meeting, so I am unable to sit with you right now. Please see my assistant on your way out, and she will be happy to book you for my next available appointment.” 

“With all due respect Your Majesty, that simply won’t do. It won’t take long, perhaps I could walk with you to your next meeting?”

Liam internally rolled his eyes at the suggestion. He knew just how to stroke his ego to get him to back down. “Lord Neville, as one of our most valued members of court, I couldn’t possibly do you the disservice of giving you anything but my full attention on what I’m sure is a crucial matter. That is all I would be doing if I allowed you to continue at this time. I will make sure that my staff adjust the schedule to provide us enough time to examine the issue thoroughly. Please send me any documentation as soon as possible so that I may review it before our meeting. That way, we can hit the ground running when we do meet.”

Neville stood tall, a smug expression quickly spreading across his face. “Very well, Your Majesty. I appreciate your assistance in the matter. I will leave the documentation with your assistant.” He bowed, and Liam nodded in response before exiting the area and moving on to his next meeting. 

“If I may say sir, the way you handled that situation was truly masterful.” Bastien commented as they walked through the palace. 

Liam chuckled and patted his security guard on the back. “All in a day's work, my friend. Everything is in place for this afternoon, I trust? I will have no disruptions for the remainder of the day?”

“Yes Your Majesty, the staff has been fully alerted that you will be unavailable. I will be at the door to ensure that you are not bothered.” Bastien replied. 

Once they arrived at their destination, Liam crossed the threshold and closed the door behind him. He was the last to arrive, so the sound of the door caught the attention of those that had already gathered. 

“Daddy!” Eleanor jumped out of her chair and ran straight for Liam, leaping into his arms. 

“Hello Princess.” He chuckled as he held her close, placing a kiss on her cheek. “Are you ready to decorate some Easter eggs?” He carried her through the livingroom area of the royal quarters, returning her to her seat at the kitchen table.

“Yep! I helped mommy mix all the colors together. It was so fun!” She gestured to the cups of coloring spread out across the table. 

Liam couldn't help but laugh at his daughter’s enthusiasm as he approached his wife, who was standing at the table making the final preparations for their afternoon project. “Hello, beautiful.” He leaned down and placed a lingering kiss on Riley’s lips. 

“Hey handsome. You made it right on time. I’m impressed.” She teased. 

“I wouldn’t miss this for anything in the world. No matter how hard Neville tried.” 

“Neville, yuck!” Eleanor chimed in, causing both of her parents to burst out laughing. 

Riley turned her attention back to her husband. “Alright, you go get changed. I don’t want you ruining your fancy king clothes with egg dye.”

Liam kissed his wife and daughter before going into the bedroom to put on some more casual clothes. He returned unnoticed as Riley explained the egg dying process to Eleanor. He stood for a moment and watched them, his girls, his world. He couldn’t help the smile that quickly spread across his face at the sight. 

“Daddy, come on, we can’t start without you!” Eleanor called out to him from the other side of the room, breaking him from his thoughts. 

He returned to the table and stood between his girls. “Alright, I’m here. Where do we begin?” 

Not only was this Eleanor’s first time decorating Easter eggs, but Liam’s too. He was told that as a Prince, there were more productive ways for him to spend his time. It was just one of the many childhood experiences being royalty simply didn’t allow for. He was so happy, not just to have this experience for himself, but to share it with his daughter. Another way to give her the childhood he never had, but always wanted.

Once Riley explained the process, they got to work; since she was the seasoned professional, she let Eleanor and Liam take the lead and do most of the work. She marveled in the similarities in their gestures, the concentration on their faces as they placed their white eggs in the dye, and the excitement when it would come out dyed a bright color. At one point, Riley couldn’t help but laugh when they pulled out their eggs at the same time, and looked up at her with identical expressions of joy, showing off their creations. 

They had gotten down to the last egg, Liam turned to Eleanor, “Ok Princess, we’ve got one left. You get to pick the color.”

A thoughtful expression overtook Eleanor’s face as she surveyed the colors that surrounded her before turning to her parents and confidently announcing her decision. “Teal.”

Riley and Liam locked eyes and shared a confused expression. There was no teal, they had only prepared basic colors, blue, green, yellow, pink, and purple. “Baby girl, we don’t have teal. These are the only colors we have.” Riley explained. 

Eleanor’s lip started to quiver as her arms went across her chest. “I want teal. Please.” Her parents had been teaching her the importance of manners, so she figured if she said please, they had to give her what she wanted. 

They both knew what that lip quiver meant, they were going to need to move quickly to avoid a total meltdown. Liam approached the princess and started rubbing her back to keep her calm. “It’s alright Eleanor. Why don’t you tell me why you want a teal egg so badly?”

“It’s my favorite color.” She looked up at her father, a pleading expression etched in her face. Her eyes glistening with unshed tears. 

There was no question that Eleanor had the King wrapped around her finger, and when she looked at him like that, there was absolutely no way he could deny her. “Alright, let me go talk to mommy and see what we can do for you.” He kissed her on her cheek and returned to his wife. “Riley, there must be something we can do. I can send someone to get teal coloring. We have unlimited resources at our disposal, there must be some way we can make this happen for her.” 

Riley shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Man, you really are a sucker when it comes to her. Aren’t you.” 

“For both of my girls, actually.” He lifted her hand to his lips and brushed them gently across her knuckles, while giving her a hopeful expression. 

She sighed deeply, as much as she tried to fight it, she was also a sucker for her family. “Alright, I guess I can try to mix the blue and green together. Maybe I can get the right ratio to make a teal dye.” 

Liam turned to Eleanor and gave her a thumbs up, she clapped her hands and cheered in response. Riley got to work carefully mixing the two dyes into a third cup, occasionally dipping a piece of paper in to test the color. She smiled to herself when the fourth test paper emerged from the cup. Mission accomplished. “Did somebody want to make a teal egg?”

“Me me me!” Eleanor raised her hand and jumped up and down in her seat. 

Riley placed the cup in front of Eleanor and handed her the egg. The pair worked together to color the final egg to the princess’s exact specifications. 

Liam watched as the two of them completed their family project. His heart was so full at that moment that he felt weak in the knees. He reached behind him and laid his palms against the kitchen island to steady himself. He stood there as his wife, the love of his life, sat with his daughter creating memories in their home. In that moment, he wasn’t a King, he was the luckiest man in the world. 

With the help of her mother, Eleanor pulled the egg from the dye, her smile growing exponentially as she proudly looked up at her father to show off her work. “Daddy, we did it! It’s teal!”

Liam chuckled at the sight in front of him. “I think it’s the most beautiful egg I have ever seen, Princess.”

Riley looked up and noticed Liam’s expression before leaning down to Eleanor. “Hey sweets, why don’t you go wash up for dinner while I put all of this away.” Her daughter looked up and nodded before rushing down the hall. Riley approached Liam and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, are you alright?”

“Love, I can honestly tell you I have never been better.” He placed a hand on her cheek. “Do you remember our first date? During the social season?” She nodded. “You asked me what my dream was, and I told you I wanted a real family, one that was close and listened to each other.” He paused, staring deeply into her eyes. “I have that, because of you Riley. You’ve made my dream, my heart’s desire, come true. Going into my social season, I had all but given up on falling in love, and assumed I would simply marry for duty. Then you uprooted your whole life to give me a chance at happiness. I will never be able to tell you how truly grateful I am for all that you have given me.” He placed a lingering kiss on her lips.

“Liam, I did it for me too. That night in New York, I had never felt like that before. I was not that girl, the one that drops everything to fly around the world for a boy I just met, but I knew there was something there that was worth exploring.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. 

“Really?”

Riley laughed gently. “I meant every word.” She leaned in to kiss him, and he pulled her close. 

They pulled apart just as Eleanor bounded back into the room. She ran straight for her parents and jumped into Liam’s arms. He held her against one side, and pulled Riley into the other. He was sure that life couldn’t get better than that very moment. 

Tags:

Permatag- @anjanettexcordonia @athena-penrose @cordonia-gothqueen @cordoniaqueensworld @gabesmommie1130 @gkittylove99 @hopelessromanticmonie @iaminlovewithtrr @jessiembruno @kat-tia801 @khoicesbyk @kingliam2019 @lucy-268 @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @mile9213 @mom2000aggie @pixie88 @queenrileyrose @secretaryunpaid @sweatyrysconnoisseur @theroyalheirshadowhunter @twinkleallnight @txemrn

One Shots- @darley1101

Liam x Riley- @jared2612

@choicesficwriterscreations @wackydrabbles @choicesaprilchallenge2021​ @trraw​

[kylo-renakin]

Death in Star Wars, and How Ben Solo Was Shafted: A Mini Meta

Something has been bothering me about Ben’s death in The Rise of Skywalker. While I’m upset that he died, I echo the sentiments of other fans that just as offensive was the way that he died and how his death was treated in the context of the film. It bothered me because death has always been a part of Star Wars, but usually handled much better.

And so this meta was born.

I will be doing a brief analysis of significant character deaths from the Star Wars movies. I don’t want to touch on all of them because there are simply too many, so I’ll focus on the ones that were either major characters (i.e. trio billing or main villain) or narratively important (i.e. Shmi Skywalker).

This list will be approached chronologically within the Star Wars universe, beginning with:

Qui-Gon Jinn; portrayed by Liam Neeson

Personal feelings: I cried like a baby. Qui-gon holds a special place in my heart. His death was both epic and sombre. It hurt to watch other main cast celebrating their victory after defeating their respective challenges and then cut to Obi-wan cradling his master’s head in his lap, crying.

Mode of death: Killed by Darth Maul at the end of The Phantom Menace. His actual death takes a few minutes of screen time, an outburst/scream from another main character (Obi-wan). He has last words to say to the person he has the closest on screen relationship with.

Aftermath: Held by a visibly devastated Obi-wan while he died. Sombre funeral pyre. Death discussed on screen by the council and Obi-wan.

Narrative purpose: To enable Anakin’s training under Obi-wan, which is pivotal to the overall arc of this trilogy. To provide a tangible loss and character growth for Obi-wan, who failed to save his master from a Sith--later mirrored by Obi-wan’s inability to save Anakin from becoming a Sith in Episode III, thereby providing a narrative ‘tail-end’ to Obi-wan’s journey in the trilogy. To cement the master/apprentice relationship as loving, emotional, familial, which then adds narrative depth to the bond between Obi-wan and Anakin. To introduce a cohesive theme of death, failure, and loss at the hands of the dark side that would pervade this trilogy.

Overall response: This death is both emotional and narratively important. It’s given the weight and time it deserves to have an impact on the characters. 

Shmi Skywalker; portrayed by Pernilla August

Personal feelings: Rough acting aside, watching a person die in their family member’s arms is always sad. It’s an extremely dark moment in a film that otherwise leans heavily into romance, action, and detective-mystery storytelling.

Mode of death: Tortured by Tusken Raiders. Died from her injuries. Again, her actual death takes a couple of minutes of screen time. She is able to say some last words to her son, the most important character relationship for this character.

Aftermath: Dies in the arms of her visibly devastated son. Anakin murders the Tuskens for revenge. On screen funeral where she is mourned and memorialized by her family/loved ones.

Narrative purpose: To drive Anakin further to the dark side by taking advantage of his love and compassion and turning this into anger and hate (revenge against the Tuskens). To plant the seeds of Anakin’s inability to save the ones he love. To emphasize his failure to keep his promise to return to his mother and free her. (Despite being freed off screen, she essentially died in captivity anyway, and Anakin was not the one to free her.) To further the cohesive themes of the trilogy: death, failure, loss, the power of the dark side.

Overall response: While not as moving for me personally as Qui-gon’s death, it has a very relevant thematic purpose and furthers the story. Shmi’s death is given adequate time on screen and we are able to observe the responses and aftermath of that loss.

Padme Amidala; portrayed by Natalie Portman

Personal feelings: We make jokes about how she lost the will to live, but her funeral was beautiful and Natalie’s delivery of the line “you’re going down a path I can’t follow” feels extremely important in this story.

Mode of death: Up for debate. She has lost the will to live after giving birth to Luke and Leia in the wake of Anakin’s fall to the dark side. Some have theorized that her life force was taken (or given?) to keep Anakin alive, but this is not made explicit in the movies. She dies beside Obi-wan Kenobi, and has the time to say last words--words of hope for Anakin’s eventual redemption. Her death itself takes several minutes and is followed up with screen time for a funeral where characters acknowledge her death.

Aftermath: The gorgeous and enormous funeral, mourned as a queen and a senator and a good woman. Anakin (as Darth Vader) mourns with a devastated and poorly acted “nooooo”.

Narrative purpose: To fulfill the themes of death, loss, and failure (Anakin’s failure to keep her alive) at the hands of the dark side. To provide a character loss that mimics the loss of democracy, freedom, and goodness that has fallen to Palpatine’s control. To provide a visual and narrative parallel between the death of Anakin (through the death of his love) and the birth of Darth Vader.

Overall response: While this death was definitely poorly handled it did have narrative significance and it was arguably necessitated by having to have this trilogy line up with the original trilogy. Her short funeral was one of my favorites in the series.

Obi-wan Kenobi; portrayed by Sir Alec Guinness/Ewan McGregor

Personal feelings: I feel weird having an opinion about this one because this movie was made well before I was born, and so I didn’t feel a real connection to/nostalgia from these characters the way I did with the prequels and sequels. Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan was a huge part of my childhood, so watching A New Hope in retrospect makes this death sad for me.

Mode of death: Killed by Darth Vader/becomes one with the Force. Essentially sacrifices himself so that Luke doesn’t try to come after him.

Aftermath: Luke shouts “no!”. In a later scene, Luke further acknowledges his death--”I only wish Ben were here”. Ben is later seen as a Force ghost in Episodes V and VI, continuing to acknowledge his character’s death and ongoing influence on, importance to, and relationship with Luke.

Narrative purpose: To provide growth for Luke’s character as he grapples with losing a mentor and surrogate father figure who was also the last person (he believed) who was a link to Luke’s (supposedly) dead hero father that Luke looked up to--and setting us up for this narrative complication in VI. To demonstrate that the Jedi/good guys of the film win through self-sacrifice and not through anger, hate, or fear, which is very thematically resonant in this trilogy.

Overall response: Narratively meaningful, and the character’s death is immediately recognized. We get to see the response of the characters who he has the closest relationships with.

Yoda; portrayed by Frank Oz

(I just love The Last Jedi, okay??)

Personal feelings: It was kind of sad, in the way any person dying of old age is. It did feel more overtly spiritual than Obi-wan’s death.

Mode of death: Dies of old age, in his own home, in his own bed, with Luke beside him. His death scene lasts a few minutes and he has some last words.

Aftermath: We see Yoda again as a force ghost, which we are expecting as an audience since his body fades like Obi-wan’s did. There is sufficient closure. Luke is present for Yoda’s death and, at this point in the films, is the only character relationship Yoda has left alive--therefore this is the most significant his death can be to someone. Luke doesn’t look overly upset but this is not painted to be a sad death, as death by old age is usually more a fact of life and a nice reprieve from untimely losses.

Narrative purpose: Honestly, it’s been a long time since I watched the original trilogy so I’m kind of stretching here. I’m going to borrow from The Last Jedi and say that Yoda’s death allows Luke to grow beyond his master and stand on his own two feet as a fully autonomous agent of goodness. He no longer has the crutch of wise older men to lean on and must make his decisions on his own. Yoda’s death frees Luke to be the master of his own destiny, now knowing the truth of his parentage and no longer being guided by others to do what they think is best (kill Vader).

Overall response: One of the less impactful deaths in the series, but I do appreciate how it adds to Luke’s growth as a character and transition into Jedi Master.

Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader; portrayed by James Earl Jones, Hayden Christensen, and Jake Lloyd

Personal feelings: This is the big one™ of the trilogy, and it shows. Watching Luke trying to literally drag his father to safety is raw and heartbreaking. Seeing him unmasked for his son is chilling. The funeral pyre is beautiful. This definitely made me feel the feelings.

Mode of death: Sacrificed himself to kill Palpatine. Death lasts several minutes. Dies in Luke’s arms and Luke cries as he dies.

Aftermath: Funeral pyre. Force ghost Anakin bringing peace to Luke and cementing his redemption.

Narrative purpose: Too much to list! Reinforcing that good guys sacrifice themselves to protect the people they love. Bringing balance to the Force by killing the Emperor (thanks JJ for messing that up by the way). Finding peace with Obi-wan as a force ghost. Showing that the belief that people can be saved from themselves is validated. I’m sure there’s plenty more besides but this one is so narratively rich that it would take forever to mine.

Overall response: Extreme narrative importance. Basically ties together six movies. Emotional, beautiful, resonant.

Han Solo; portrayed by Harrison Ford

Personal feelings: Ouch, ouch, ouch! This was... this was angsty. I love angsty. I cannot possibly find adequate words to describe how well done this scene and this death was. One of my top three moments of The Force Awakens.

Mode of death: Struck through the chest with a lightsaber by his son, Ben Solo (under the alias of Kylo Ren), after an attempt to save him from the dark side and bring him home. His body falls into the pit on Starkiller Base.

Aftermath: So. Much. Rey screams “no!” Finn is visibly upset, too. Chewie roars in agony and shoots Kylo Ren with his bowcaster. Leia can be seen feeling Han’s death and cannot find the strength to keep standing. Kylo/Ben looks immediately shaken by what he has done. Rey and Leia share a sad hug at the end of the film. In The Last Jedi, reactions continue. Luke is shaken by the revelation of Han’s death and spends a quiet moment in the Falcon mourning him. Kylo/Ben’s reaction continues to spiral. Snoke, in one of my favorite lines in the film, announces that “the deed split [his] spirit to the bone”. Rey grieves Han and accuses Ben of hating him. Luke warns Kylo that he will always be with him, “just like [his] father”. Han’s shadow is felt all over The Last Jedi without him being present. Even without the further reactions in The Rise of Skywalker (Rey saying Ben is haunted by him, the literal memory scene on the Death Star), the impacts of Han Solo’s death are the most significant in the entire franchise.

Narrative purpose: To advance both internal and external character conflicts. Kylo killing Han provides an external conflict between him and the heroes--particularly between him and Rey as Rey yearns for parents who love her and Ben (seemingly) rejects/kills his that do. It also provides a meaty internal conflict for Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, who is the most nuanced villain I have ever seen in film. While Han’s death doesn’t seem to serve a main theme in The Force Awakens (it is my perspective that JJ does not have cohesive overarching themes in his two entries in the saga), it does blend in pretty well with The Last Jedi’s preoccupation with killing the past. The thematic takeaway from The Last Jedi is that you can’t and shouldn’t kill the past, you should learn from it and move on--and Kylo killing Han neatly fits into this theme by showing that Kylo tried to kill his past by killing his father, and yet he was unable to move on because of it.

Overall response: Poignant. Purposeful. Well-crafted. The effects are long lasting and felt throughout the trilogy. This is not a meaningless death. Of the entire saga, this is the death that is given the most acknowledgement.

Supreme Leader Snoke; portrayed by Andy Serkis

Personal feelings: I was on the edge of my fucking seat. This is not emotionally resonant because we don’t care about Snoke but it was huge and shocking and had these enormous narrative implications moving forward.

Mode of death: Cut in half by Kylo Ren while he narrates his own death.

Aftermath: The Praetorian guards spring into action to avenge their master. In a later scene, we see Snoke’s severed legs topple to the floor. Hux is visibly shaken and angry. Kylo Ren acknowledges the death (by blaming it on Rey) and takes Snoke’s position as Supreme Leader (”the Supreme Leader is dead”, “long live the Supreme Leader”). I’m... going to ignore how The Rise of Skywalker handled Snoke. It was unnecessary to have Snoke clones from a storytelling perspective. It added nothing to the narrative, just used as a clumsy way to justify that Palpatine was really pulling the strings all along.

Narrative purpose: To deepen the perceived conflict within Kylo Ren and showing his unwillingness to kill Rey. This further complicates their relationship moving forward as we’ve established that the new head honcho powerful villain has no real desire to hurt the hero. The narrative implications of this moving forward were so rich. Pity JJ ignored them. Additionally: To show Kylo Ren symbolically surpassing Darth Vader. In Episode III Anakin claims he will overthrow the Emperor and rule the galaxy with Padme. He never achieves this. But Kylo Ren does (minus the Empress by his side). To deepen the theme of Kylo Ren trying to kill/bury the past in order to become stronger (and ultimately failing). To add Snoke to the list of characters in the movie who embody the theme of failure. To shake up an expected narrative trajectory and provide new pathways for future storytelling. (Again, JJ, looking at you.)

Overall response: Loved it. Loved it. Not as resonant as some of the other deaths but by far to me the most shocking.

Luke Skywalker; portrayed by Mark Hamill

Personal feelings: Okay, this is a big one. Here’s the thing. I did not grow up with the original trilogy. I never really cared for Luke (didn’t dislike him either, just ‘meh’). But this movie. This movie. I went on a journey with Luke. I saw him as fallible. As human. Making mistakes. Failing. Falling into depression. And overcoming it. I cried when Luke Skywalker died. I did not think that would happen. I did not think I would ever love Luke so much.

Mode of death: Force projects himself across the galaxy to face his nephew and save the Resistance; the effort kills him. Luke’s death takes a couple of minutes of screentime, and it is gorgeous. Hamill acts his ass off. The music, the visuals, everything combines to make this the most emotional death in Star Wars--a fitting end for its first hero.

Aftermath: Leia and Rey feel his death in the Force. They speak to each other quietly about it. They know it was peaceful. Luke, knowing he was going to die, came and saw his sister first and gave them beautiful closure and a message of hope. Just before Luke dies, he warns Kylo/Ben that he’ll always be with him. Just like his father. Luke fades into the Force and we know we will see him again as a force ghost (which we do, but JJ managed to trash even that). The boy on Canto Bight and his friends are inspired by the legend of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. He ignites hope throughout the galaxy once more.

Narrative purpose: Multiple. As above, inspiring hope throughout the galaxy once more. To serve the theme of self-sacrifice. Achieving victory without violence (pacifistic). Preventing Kylo Ren from killing more people he cares about (Rey, Leia, Luke) and thereby protecting him, at least a little, from himself. Also serves a similar purpose to Yoda’s death--with both Luke and Snoke dying, Rey and Kylo Ren are without masters, the arbiters of their own destiny (thanks again JJ for fucking that up too).

Overall response: I can’t decide if this or Han Solo’s death is more emotionally impactful to me. They are both so, so moving, and so essential to the narrative.

Leia Organa; portrayed by Carrie Fisher

Personal feelings: This is hard. I don’t think her scenes in The Rise of Skywalker worked. They were cut from The Force Awakens for a reason--and then cobbled together like some kind of Frankenstein’s Monster for this movie. As much as I love Leia and Carrie, I couldn’t feel emotion for her death because it was so wooden and artificial.

Mode of death: Uses the last of her energy to reach her son (it is unclear exactly how she is reaching him. Force projection? Did she create the Han memory? Who knows.) Even with so little to work with, they still managed to focus on her death with her lying down, her hand falling to the side--trying to give this some weight.

Aftermath: Chewie mourns. Ben and Rey both feel her death and are clearly devastated. The Resistance gather around her body in mourning. Her body fades at the same time as Ben’s (wtf, JJ) and then we see her as a force ghost with Luke (but not Ben because fuck him apparently). 

Narrative purpose: To bring her son back to the light, something that has been a central struggle of this trilogy. Sacrificing yourself to save that which you love.

Overall response: It has a purpose, but I can’t help but think it wouldn’t have gone this way if Carrie hadn’t died. It doesn’t seem as organic as the deaths of Han and Luke.

NB: I’m skipping Palpatine because his death was literally nothing else than “defeat the big bad”. It wasn’t even fulfilling a prophecy, it had no significant narrative weight for Rey, it was a nothing burger.

Ben Solo/Kylo Ren; portrayed by Adam Driver

Personal feelings: Twofold. In the cinema, I felt nothing. Nothing. I actually laughed in surprise. Like, “what was that”? The next day, at home, I cried. I don’t think I cried because he died. I was open to that possibility. I cried because I was so, so angry at how poorly his arc and death was handled. Like he was a footnote in his own fucking story. I think him living was a much more interesting story, narratively and thematically, but I wasn’t necessarily opposed to his death if it was done well. And it wasn’t.

Mode of death: Uses the last of his life energy to resurrect Rey. Falls over. (Plop, there he goes.) Fades into the force.

Aftermath: Like, none? Rey looks kind of surprised and blinks for a couple of seconds. No words are exchanged. He just tips over and dies. Cool.

Narrative purpose (or failure thereof): I am fucking reaching here because all of the previously established trajectories and themes are dashed by this ending. We could argue that this is a self-sacrifice to save what you love theme point. Which is fine, but like, no one mourns. He doesn’t become a Force Ghost. No one acknowledges his death. Ben fading into the Force is a metaphor for him fading from people’s minds. It’s like he doesn’t even exist in the context of the story anymore. Which is insanely baffling because all three of the original trilogy heroes sacrificed their lives, at least in part, to save Ben Solo. So that he could in turn save Rey? So he’s just another cog in the machine? This was always about Rey and never about the love Han and Leia had for their son, or that Luke had for his nephew? If you think about it, the only other ‘main’ characters to die during the course of their trilogy were Qui-gon and Padme. And both of those characters had funerals, and people mourning, and huge narrative implications. The death of Ben Solo reads like the death of a minor character. It serves one very narrow and already over-represented theme. The death of all of the rest of the Skywalkers had huge emotional ramifications for the other characters in the films. With Ben Solo, the Skywalker legacy fades as well, as if JJ is telling us that this saga was not about this family at all, but their whole story existed only for the point of saving Palpatine’s granddaughter. How fucked up is that?

Overall response: Narratively, this just doesn’t make sense. It’s lazy and not impactful. When a character dies in films, you want the audience to feel something, so you show other characters reacting to it. Are they sad? Then we should feel sad too! Are they elated? We should be celebrating! No one reacts to Ben’s death, so we’re not sure how we’re supposed to feel, either. The people who are devastated by this death are the ones who love the character itself and are upset that he got treated this way--the death itself was hollow and emotionless.

So, there you have it. Ben Solo was shafted. Death is extremely prevalent in these movies, and yet, being the only new Skywalker of the sequels and half the protagonist (thank you Rian), Ben Solo has arguably the least emotional or narratively impactful death in the franchise.

Rian Johnson would never do this to Ben Solo.

[itswildwinters]

Seeing as it’s the holidays for me, I’ve had time to read (and re-read) quite a lot of fics, and I felt like sharing some of them with you. It’s my first time doing a fic recs post, so I hope it’s useful and not too much of a mess, especially since it’s quite long!

If you do end up reading any of these stunning fanfics, don’t forget to leave kudos and comments to show your appreciation!

Enjoy!! ✩

✩ baby blue by @soldouthaz​ (39k)

summary: Harry Styles takes his time coming out to greet them. Louis only knows what he’s seen on file and what he’s heard them talking about, but he fully lives up to the image he had inside of his head. 

He saunters down the front steps of the farmhouse in his Levi’s, brown snakeskin boots curving out from underneath the denim Louis’ sure he had specially made. He’s got on a plaid button-down tucked into the jeans because of course he does, curls spilling out from either side of his cowboy hat around his sunglasses and country-tan skin. 

“Harry Styles,” he drawls, extending a hand to Louis’ manager, “Pleased to meet ya’ll.”

I loved the dynamic between Cowboy Harry and Celebrity Louis. What I also really enjoyed about this fanfic is that the depiction of farm life was accurate. The way the story is written really gets you into action, so that you can picture everything quite well through the Louis-centric third point of view. 

✩ The Space Between by @lads-laddylads​ (39k)

summary: Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why. Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

A/B/O fanfic. I loved how Alpha Harry acted upon seeing Louis for the first time. You can really feel the tension and attraction through the screen, which is one of my all time favourite things. The way their relationship builds up is a delight, and Louis is a darling and so courageous in the end with how he deals with Harry, even when Harry is being an idiot. The connection they have at the end... just wow!

✩ fae series: Boiling Blood Will Circulate and Warming The Air Of The World by @crazyupsetter​ (42k and 3k)

summary of Boiling Blood Will Circulate: The wait isn’t long before something starts rustling in the bushes. Harry takes aim, squeezes the trigger, body moving unconsciously. They’re motions he’s done a thousand times before, and his body knows how to do it without the input of his brain now. It’s what makes him such a good shot.

He misses. The shot misses.

Something howls in the woods, a pretty clear indication that Harry hit it, but there’s no telltale sounds of a big body dropping, no animal charging out at him to take him out before he can finish the job.

Something does turn and run, though. “Fuck,” Harry spits out, scrambling to his feet and slinging the rifle back over his shoulder, giving chase. He’s not going to lose this hunt.

The trail of blood goes on longer than Harry thought it would. He doesn’t know how long he runs for, but his muscles are burning, chest heaving with exertion, until the trail just - goes dead. No more blood, just like that.

“Fuck,” Harry says.

I am a sucker for fantasy/supernatural fanfics, and this one is absolutely incredible. The suspense in there is well-built, and the dynamic between Louis and Harry leaves you hungry for more. There’s a lot of blood in this series, so if you’re not into that you should be careful, but for me the author really puts into perspective how complicated and different from mankind faeries are.

✩ With a whimper by @kitundercover​ (132k)

summary: Dystopian AU. Louis has been alone for too long to remember how not to be, and Harry has too much to worry about to deal with a scrawny, wild, stranger.

---

The man grips his arm tightly. “You’re not going to say anything.” It’s not a question.

Louis shakes his head, his body twitching.

“Fine.” Large green eyes survey him before letting go. “It’s cold. Take this. Wear it.”

Louis can’t help another flinch as the man’s long scarf is wrapped around his tender neck, it’s still warm. He touches the soft material. “Thank you.”

The man bears his teeth. “Don’t thank me. Don’t ever thank me.”

If you are into dystopian works, and doesn’t mind violence, blood and gore, this fic will make your day! I loved the world-building, the way it’s written, how Louis’ character is portrayed and how strong he is. I just couldn’t stop reading once I began. The secrets of the plot, the fear of the characters, and the curiosity that sparks within you as you read contribute into making this fic a unique one that’s so worth the read.

✩ Soaked In The Blood Of Angels by @crazyupsetter​ (40k)

summary: The boy looks drugged, caught between a man who’s almost twice his size and a girl who looks like she wouldn’t even break a sweat snapping him in half despite her small stature, eyes closed and mouth open as he pants, arching up between them almost as if he’s trying to escape.

Normally, Harry would ignore it and continue on his search for someone to drink from, someone who wouldn’t mind his sharp teeth and rough hands. He’s seen plenty of boys like this one, ones who picked the wrong playmates, and if he stopped to rescue every single one of them he would have died from thirst a long time ago.

This one, though. There’s something about this one, the sheen of his bright blue eyes as he blinks slowly, looks around as though he doesn’t know where he is, the weakness of his hands as he tries to push the girl off of him and make his escape.

Another magnificent creatures/fantasy fanfic. The writing is absolutely exquisite, and I love how hard to get Louis is. The violence between Louis and Harry might bother some people, but to me it really spiced up their relationship and made Louis and Harry, who are creatures of gloom, particularly interesting and even real, somehow.

✩ Play Pretend, Find a Friend? by @angelichl​ (40k)

summary: They had to pull back for air. Louis surveyed the guy’s face, in awe of his blown pupils and sharp jawline, the way their shared spit glistened on his lips.

“Hi,” he breathed. He blinked, and came back to himself a little bit, blushing at his own boldness. “Sorry. Is this okay?”

The stranger removed his right hand from the curve of Louis’ waist in order to cup his jaw, tilting it up to the angle he desired. He pressed their lips together, murmuring, “Definitely.” And then he kissed harder.

When Louis sees his ex-boyfriend kissing a random girl at a party, he acts out of blind jealousy. He kisses the first guy he can find. It turns into a thing.

Where do I start? I usually don’t like fake-relationship AUs since most of the time Louis and Harry are famous, which make it less fun to me. But in this fic, they’re students and Harry is a frat boy while Louis is a nerd, but it’s not cliché or anything. It’s actually so well-written and the relationship between Louis and Harry takes time to progress which I absolutely love, seeing as I am a sucker for slow burn. Harry is so sweet as a frat boy, and Louis is an angel. Really loved reading this.

✩ at your fingertips by @risthebrave​ (27k)

summary: He finds himself wrapped up in sheets in bed on Thursday night, staring at the familiar name on a new story that was posted the night before.

His fingers twitch, ready to hit play and surrender to his impulses, saving the regret and turmoil for later.

And still he hesitates, internally praying that he’ll somehow gain the strength to exit out within the next few moments before he inevitably loses his patience and hits the button.

Three…

Two…

One.

Play.

-

Or, Louis really should have seen it coming.

Besides being well-written, the whole plot is quite original. I absolutely loved Louis in there, especially since all of his insecurities made me relate to him. He’s so sweet, and I’m glad Harry was there to get him to open-up and see how amazing he is. I had so many moments of secondhand embarrassment haha, and they made the fic all the more amazing. Honestly, what really struck me in this fic is how the author managed to make Harry such an amazing person, and how intrepid Louis is while he learns to overcome his insecurities.

✩ Nothing But You On My Mind by @absoloutenonsense​ (83k)

summary: Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

It was such a joy to read this fic. Even though Harry pissed me off on more than one occasion, I took great satisfaction in how Louis ignored him or replied with one of his witty comebacks. The plot twist was just awesome and Harry’s stubbornness ended up being very much welcome.

✩ push you out, pull you back in by @behisoneandonly​ (31k)

summary: Harry grips his head in his hands helplessly, yanking the base of his dark curls and squeezing his eyes shut.

“Fucking hell,” he whispers, knuckles turning white from how hard he’s gripping the strands of his hair.

“Hey, hey,” says the petite stranger in front of him, quickly standing up. “Stop, you’re hurting yourself.”

–

Or Harry hates feeling vulnerable. Louis is set on breaking through his tough facade.

Oh my god, this was truly wonderful. The size difference made me go crazy! The smut was just wow too. What really made this fic so incredible is how protective of Harry Louis is, and how Louis seems to just... understand Harry despite his issues. Jealous Harry also! I loved it. Moreover, Louis’ character is literally perfect in this.

✩ thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in by @absoloutenonsense​ (52k)

summary: Harry's alpha fraternity donates to a local thrift shop (because of Liam's latent crush on a cute beta in his lecture). Louis' financial situation (and confusing omega instincts) lead him to make some interesting fashion purchases. Lots of pizza, feelings, and not-really-lying.

I’ve read and re-read this. I love Louis and Harry’s dynamic, and how they solve their troubles in the end. Harry is such a sweet soul, and Louis deserves the world!

✩ Canyon Moon by @eeveelou​ (40k)

summary: For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

What really drew me in is that I’ve never before seen a larry fanfic on the Lion King, and honestly? It was so beautiful. The way the author made the plot of the cartoon go along with the A/B/O world was truly surprising, and absolutely interesting to read. Also, when Louis is introduced to the modern world? It’s such a sweet part of the fic.

✩ a trail of honey through it all by @yvesaintlourent​ (27k)

summary: The boy in front of him, well really, the man in front of him, was like something out of a confusing wet dream. Built, tall, tan and muscular, his skin glistened with sweat after a long day of working outdoors with his hands. He was wearing a cut up old American football shirt, the bottom hem was torn and the sleeves were cut off to the point where the t-shirt was really just a loose tank top. The shorts he had on had clearly been full length jeans at one point, and were now just crudely cut off above the knee. His white socks were pulled up too high on his calves, and the brown work boots he had on were old as fuck, the leather peeling along the edges of the soles. Curly brown hair stuck out from the edges of his backwards snapback, and there was a smudge of grease wiped along his brow bone. The smattering of hair along his jaw proved that he hadn’t shaved in a week or two, the hair growing in thicker across his upper lip and around his chin. His sinfully bowed mouth was pink and plump, and Louis was suddenly hyper-focused on the way that he chewed at the toothpick stuck between his lips. He looked like he needed a shower. Louis wanted to lick him.

Or, the TPH fic we’ve all been waiting for.

Trailer park Harry? HELL YEAH! The concept has been going on in the fandom for so long that when I saw someone finally wrote it, I was genuinely excited. And I wasn’t disappointed! The writing is wonderful and the way Louis and Harry grow closer is just so sweet. Loved it!

✩ The Healing Song series: The Healing Song and The Wedding by 2204 (111k and 3k)

summary of The Healing Song: Louis was carrying the large stuffed elephant like it was a baby, it’s trunk hanging over his shoulder and down his back and it’s front legs were resting around his neck, like it was hugging him. Said elephant was a present from Louis’ close friend Steve, who had thought Louis needed something to hug on bad days and had gifted him with a stuffed elephant the size of a one year old.

Steve had been right. Some days Louis did need something to hug, and this elephant was as good as anything.

Louis was having one of the rougher days. The harmonious state of the anxiety free life of a fearless Louis had ended the week after he met with Harry. It ended as abruptly as it had started. It was like pushing a button. Lights out. Almost as if the universe said “You’ve had your fun, crazy one, now go be sick” and slammed the door in his face.

Or where Louis is a single father of two, suffering from PTSD, and Harry is there providing soulmatey and loving support while he heals the wounds of past abuse.

God, this fic I swear! This made me cry, laugh, scream... this is a roller-coaster of emotions. It’s quite a hard fic to read, because it deals with past abuse and trauma. And it’s even harder knowing this story is based on real life events that the author went though. But the way it’s written, the way Harry helps Louis through his struggles and issues, it’s so beautiful and inspiring.

✩ Sunrise and Pixie Dust by @moonyblouie​ (14k)

summary: Harry's taking a walk at sunrise in the forest he knows like the back of his hand when the wind starts blowing, the sky turns pink, and golden glitter starts to fall from the sky. He’s not sure about what’s happening, but when he comes face to face with a gorgeous winged-creature, he can’t help but be immediately mesmerized.

Or an AU in which Harry finds himself crossing the borders between two worlds.

I loved this, the smut is so hot!! But the end... I really hope there will be a sequel! But other than that, the way Louis is written? Wonderful!

✩ Weightless by @smittenwithlouis​ (25k)

summary: He hopes that Harry still thinks of him. God knows Louis thinks of him every day.

Or: Harry is the best dragon racer the world has ever seen and Louis is an almost-vet who feels like he is carrying the weight of the world.

This was... just amazing, honestly. I loved loved loved every time Louis interacted with dragons, I could picture it and it’s just so so sweet. The way Louis is concerned about Harry’s safety, and Harry’s will to make Louis’ life better, to give him the freedom he deserves... it’s just beautiful.

✩ The Blood of Love by @mugglemirror​ (25k)

summary: Harry is a nurse and Louis is a painting worth more than a thousand words. As desire and darkness encompasses him, Harry has to learn the secrets of Thorne Hills manor before he succumbs to the mystery that surrounds him.

I absolutely loved this! The plot, the writing, the suspense, the secrets... everything was on spot and left me yearning for more. The atmosphere really makes the reader completely engrossed into what’s going on, and the end doesn’t disappoint. Dark fics have always been something that I enjoy reading, and this one definitely didn’t disappoint. Just wow!

✩ Latibule by @quelquesetoiles​

summary: Louis had worked in the infamous resort placed in the median point of all worlds for longer than he could remember. He went through everyday with a soul-crushing emptiness filling his mind, going through the same routine over and over again. Despite all the happenings around him, his soul never wavered, his emotions stayed superficial, and nothing took his breath away anymore.

Nothing, except the intoxicating smell of lavender and the contemplating green eyes that came along for the ride every now and again. His heart always seemed to wake up full force whenever those pretty lips formed around even prettier, yet empty promises, and he felt the magic sizzle in his bones again only when contact was made between the divine body and his own deceivingly normal one. He hated it for the fact he really didn’t.

Or : A Spirited Away AU of sorts where Louis just wants to heal and be left alone, only for all his plans to be destroyed by the hands of an infuriating British God.

I have read this at least three times, that’s how good this fic is. I am a sucker for mythology, like truly, and Louis and Harry’s dynamic in there had me screaming! Jealous Harry is the best thing, and the semi plot twist at the end made my heart jump. But besides the universe we readers are diving into, it’s also the writing that’s left me pleasantly drunk. The words flow together perfectly, at after each paragraph you just long for more. Also the pet names!!! Just beautiful.

✩✩✩

If there’s any mistakes, please let me know! 

[cloveroctobers]

• ROHAN WASTI•

IG info/bio: @/niceguyroasti | 175k followers | Just here for a bit of fun 🤹🏽‍♂️! They don’t call me the brown handstand king for nuthin, mate 🎪🤸🏽‍♂️

(23) 25 (26) years old

From Wolverhampton, England

Before you ask...no he’s never met Liam Payne but Rohan’s sure he’s a great lad. (He was asked this question in one of his lives, he secretly thinks it was talia from one of her secret burner stan accounts lol) He’s got a nice tune with a boogie w da hoodie that he likes??

Anyways...he’s of Pakistani heritage

His mother used to work for a printing press company until she along with 15 other employees were laid off back in Sargodha

She was out of work for months becoming a stay at home mom (which his father initially wanted) 

While his father continued in ironwork

They uprooted their family to the uk two years later after Rohan’s father also got laid off

Rohan was about 7 years old when they moved to Wolverhampton

he picked up on the English language faster than his parents

Always a quick learner

He has two younger brothers

Who are really his cousins/friends of the family that his parents brought home from Pakistan after their parents passed in a tragic accident

he was eleven years old when he met them at the airport and was super excited to have sibs! & even encouraged his mom to let him buy them something they would like sort of like a ice breaker which they seemed to appreciate 😭

His parents wanted him to major in software engineering or any form of engineering really but that quickly became a “hell no” vs “hell yeah” after those courses started to rot his brain?

So what does he do? He decides he’s gonna major in psychology instead!

That seems more of his speed? Kinda? As long as he’s not dealing with that hardware shit then that’s cool with him tbh

Psych held more of his interest since he doesn’t have a issue with the whole science aspect tied into it but it’s deff lengthy and can be draining sometimes too

He doesn’t psychoanalyze everything like our girl marisol does

marisol will be like “hmm...you’re distributing narcissistic behavior based on your superego more than your ego ya know?”

but Rohan will either think it or think nothing of it and just continue to go with the flow lol. He’s that kinda guy

Why was he majoring in this in the first place? Just to say he had the degree in something maybe?

He’s 50/50 thinking he’ll just get the degree he’s halfway there but he really wants to be part of the circus

And now has circus themed tatts that he’s proud of thank u

Always had the obsession with all that comes with the circus, he had his paternal grandfather to thank for that

His grandfather used to juggle along with other forms of entertainment but mostly juggling on the street back in Pakistan to earn $ since there were a lack of jobs

The atmosphere there also was what got him into doing handstands cause why tf not

You can absolutely guess that the acrobats, trapeze acts, and tightrope entertainers are his favorites to watch

His parents just assumed it was a hobby of his and never took him serious even tho he openly said growing up that’s something he would like to do in life

He now understands the purpose of “freak shows” even tho he can honestly say those parts of the circus used to terrify him until he learned that not everyone is the same and there should be no shame in that

He will train on the side until he finishes his degree to make his parents happy but he knows he truly belongs in the circus and that’s where he will be someday whether his parents approve or not— after all this is his life

Lives on campus and is currently looking for a flat off campus to share with a roommate or two (he thought about asking jake & Tim but decided against it FOR NOW)

Mostly had temporary and odd jobs to get by each semester, has not had a steady job due to fully being a full-time student

He’s tried to be a full time student and full time employee (working as a package delivery man) just to burn himself out and never attempted to be a part time employee. It was not something he could handle sorry

His mother spoils him...he’s a bit of a mama’s boy

When it comes to relationships, it never seems to be what he thinks it is? One moment things are going great then the next he’s in the friend zone so he’s never quite sure where he stands with his significant others?

Which is why he thinks it’s safe to always start off in the friend zone or unintentionally puts those who have interest in him in the friend zone because that’s what’s comfortable to him

however if he’s really into you & you’re showing that you’re into him but it’s causal dating or whatever u want to call it? & you up and decide to pick the other over him catching him off guard he’s gonna be in his feelings about it 100% ex.) how he picked erikah over mc the 2nd time around and felt some type of way when erikah hopped on reeses dck

he wants communication even if it’s hard

and he wants someone to love unconditionally and for them to love him back

Definitely likes to sweep his loves off their feet

Especially when he’s kissing! The whole dipping you while you kiss, hand on the small of your back, or hands gripping your waist while he’s pressed up against you. Probably likes to bend you over things or have you pressed up against objects as well—Sign me tf up

I feel like he’s always warm and his hands are surprisingly soft with how many handstands he does in a damn day

He purchases hand moisturizing gloves

can always hold his own weight

enjoys core exercises

Will carry you on his back or his shoulders if you need to see better at festivals/concerts

He’s sexually fluid

It’s canon/hinted that something went on between him & jake when mc walked in that we missed by a few seconds or even a minute but I do think he’s attracted/was to jake and it’s canon that jake is bi bby

Plus he got excited when mc suggested that he’d date jake if jake doesn’t find someone in the villa so BOOM 🤗

Always active as a kid trying to do flips and shit likes he’s doing parkour much like Bobby ending up with bruises, scrapes, and surprisingly no broken bones? Well maybe scratch that last bit out...He did crack his head open a little bit once giving his mother a heart attack but his mother doesn’t dare speak of it — haram!

Loves his sleeveless shirts and silver thick chains

Keeps a five o’clock shadow + might grow a little stubble here and there, feels like it’s part of his signature look

Won’t grow a full beard due to the racism/prejudice he witnessed his father, grandfather, uncles, and cousins go thru!

Will spend coin on some aftershave, none of that cheap shit when it comes to that! Sorry he takes pride in his facial area

probably went thru a mild case of cystic acne when puberty hit & had some insecure moments when it comes to his appearance & still has moments where it’ll hit even tho he beat it thanks to some remedies but tries his best not to let it get to him

He knows how to manage his $ but can splurge every now and then but will never showcase what he has — that’s v corny to him to be overly flashy. He’s looking at y’all @/leggy @/jasper/@/miles

Doesn’t take high quality photos of himself, it’s always zoomed in or extra zoomed in photos—yup he’s got that type of feed

Regrets putting mc in the friend zone & wishes he put more effort in making things work with erikah

But slowly learned to be happy that she’s with Reese even if he wasn’t at first. He really thought there could have been something for him & erikah

he secretly thinks their “relationship” is superficial & based off of shallowness and lust. What else do they have? Nothing that he could have given her but what’s the point in being bitter over this?

Reese is a shit stirrer that thinks he can get anything he wants because of the way he looks & if he knows outside info that he can use again you, he WILL

& erikah? He doesn’t know where her head is at majority of the time. She likes to throw rocks then acts like she didn’t mean to do it but why do it in the first place if you didn’t mean to? + she seems to lose interest fast if they don’t fit her standards besides their physical appearance...yeah Rohan caught all of that

So did she even genuinely like him or want to besides what he brought to the table physically? Who knows

He just thinks people deserve their chance at happiness and he possibly could have had it if he wasn’t standing in his own way...and he absolutely won’t stand in anyone else’s way if they don’t see potential happiness with him

He’s cool with cherry but deep down he knew there wouldn’t be anything long term between him & her after some time. She’s a beautiful/hot girl but she wasn’t his type + he didn’t like how she portrayed herself in the villa even tho she claims there was more than what meets the eye when it comes to her

she proved that to him which she didn’t HAVE to!!! outside of the house and they actually remained friends unlike the now growing distance he has with erikah

I cannoned that him and Hannah give it a go. I think they’d be cute together? She told him from the moment they met at a festival that they were now dating after they ended up holding hands but he didn’t take her seriously since she was a little drunk?

She messaged him two days later asking him when they were going on their date and that was enough for him to give it a go

They only lasted for a couple of months since they outgrew each other slowly but surely. ‘Not all things are temporary,’ he had to remind himself

It was no bad blood thankfully and they continued to be friends with him wishing her well on her new relationship with Carl. He was genuinely happy for her as he always was for his friends

Cannot cook for shit but makes the best coffee with cinnamon & cardamom

once tried to make Aloo Chaat but with a twist! With the use of Potato Skins instead! for a family dinner party and his mum almost sent him home due to the insults his father spewed at rohan trying to fool them all that it was his wife who prepared such a thing

It is evident that his father only enjoys his wife’s cooking

he still makes it for himself when he’s starving despite what his father thinks

Is fluent in Urdu, English came second

Never ashamed of his culture although his father thinks he is...

His fav shows are misfits + the IT crowd and he is currently watching & enjoying truth seekers + mr. selfridge since Tim recommended it to him ofc

his fav American show is the challenge

when asked what his fav American movie is, he got dragged since ppl assumed it would be the greatest showman but he can’t take all the singing...musicals aren’t his thing sorry

But he’ll bust out a rap only if Tim & jake are around, he rarely does it alone

Even looked into producing music for fun but never took THAT seriously

closest with jake & Tim, doesn’t have much of a relationship with the other lads 🤷🏽‍♀️ but there’s no real beef with anyone he knows how to let shit go

But you’ll never catch him having a chat with Reese or following him back on ig. What they had to say to each other was already said and done so?

If erikah agrees to get engaged to Reese, he’s happy for her but cordial to him

if she doesn’t end up with Reese, he’ll be her shoulder to lean on if she needs it

his love language is physical touch with a splash of acts of service

Commonly sleeps curled up, his mum says he was like that in the womb as well—(same dude)

He’s probably a good 5’9 - 5’7 on bad days

Is he a Pisces? Idk

His signature cologne is probably Antaeus by Chanel which is described to have notes of: lemon, lime, coriander and sage w. A blend of thyme, basil and rose

Loves black pepper, specifically garlic, onion, black pepper, and sea salt all mixed together

has a vitiligo spot on the right side of his lower spine that is commonly covered with the waistband of whatever bottoms he has on

has a pogo stick

Wants to go skydiving next, has gone bungee jumping—which was such a adrenaline rush!!!

probably knows a few tips on how to survive in the wild or if the apocalypse hits...you can never be too sure

If he ever gets a pet he might get something like: Satanic Leaf tailed Gecko, Kinkajou, or a Pac-Man frog. He likes being different okay

he actually enjoyed season 3 despite the negative remarks made about it. It was “different” basically drama free which was a shocker knowing how production likes to take things take a shot every time ro explains his decisions/opinions as such lol

BUT he won’t go as far to say he liked it better than his season yet he did enjoy keeping up with it. He def has a crush on iona, aj, vieve, Camilo & tai

Yasmin actually joined one of his lives, which he doesn’t do too often but he couldn’t sleep one night and thought he’d give it a go. She’s quite nice & quiet but he ultimately felt calm around her + they bonded over bohemian lifestyle & his love for the circus + a little about their cultures

Long term goals? He doesn’t have a set timeline of when he wants everything to happen because pressure is not fun

but he wants to be in love and loved back, wants to be married, wants to have kids, wants to try out the circus for awhile and if that doesn’t work out he can always fall back on his psych degree—he just wants to be happy and share that with someone, that’s one of the biggest adventures he can possibly have

His anthem = Blxst, “No Love Lost”

[beetlemancy]

Anon again: Thank you!! I appreciate you taking the time to answer me because I am kind of active in the community but very very new. I did know your opinions but being new I just wanted to know whether those recent posts held any weight. I want to be socially responsible with my media consumption and I was worried there was something I was missing, given I have seen specific call outs for certain cast members (Travis, Laura, Sam, and Liam) recently. Thanks again!!

Anon pt2: you don’t have to post this but for context the call out posts were as follows: Travis actively supports the military, Laura voiced a black character?, Sam did brown face??, and Liam is fake woke/virtual signaling (or something along those lines). Obviously I can find out information about this for myself but I have seen more anti-CR stuff lately which prompted my ask.

As with everything, I suggest you do your own reading on those topics, and any topic that comes up in regards to the media you watch. Below is simply my opinion. Note: this gets long.

Travis does support the military - but not as an institution. He has family in the military. He supports the soldiers. He works with Operation Supply Drop and I’d encourage you to look into OSD specifically. Whether you agree with the idea that we should even have a military or not, you cannot deny that our veterans and soldiers are given the short end of the stick. We cannot just abandon them because helping them might be viewed as giving money to the military. I have so many military vets in my disability groups. The VA is awful because it has no funding (I know good people who work at the VA too, but they just cannot help everyone like they’d want to). Programs like OSD are genuinely helpful to a lot of hurting folk and the people who shit on Travis and CR for promoting and helping them out have clearly never actually sat down and talked to a vet or a soldier before. 

Laura and many many other voice actors have voiced people of color in various shows. Yes, this is a legit problem. However, obviously as with most things, the problem is nuanced. The fault mainly lies with the VO industry as a whole, in that actors actually have very little control over what they do. There was a whole strike about this very topic (though the strike covered other issues in the industry as well). In the case of Laura, for instance, she was never told what her character would look like until after the fact. And that is super common in the industry. One of the things they tried to get in the strike was more transparency so that actors could make the decisions themselves whether to voice characters or not - not just based on race or culture but also based on type of work (stressful screaming vs chill dialogue) and whether the content of the game itself was something they wanted their name attached to. 

Sam’s blackface scandal is extremely old news. That’s not to say it isn’t important to note, and in fact Sam made a point to note it again back in 2018. I know people who can’t watch CR because of it, even after his apology, and that’s fine because its not my place to judge others for how they react to that kind of thing. However I know a lot of people who read his apology and the circumstances surrounding it and decided to forgive. To some people, the fact that he was asked to do so by will.i.am changes the situation. To others, it doesn’t. To some the fact that he apologized and has clearly worked to improve his behavior matters, to others it doesn’t. You have to decide that for yourself. You can read Sam’s letter HERE. 

Now. Regarding Liam. * sigh * I think, and again this is my opinion, that you cannot proclaim someone you do not know as ‘fake woke.’ I think there are parts of this fandom that have it out for Liam because of a whole bunch of gross reasons, many of which I’ve spoken about before. He is sensitive and a man - that makes people uncomfy. He plays a lot of women characters and tends to embody them in both personality and body language - that makes people uncomfy. He fully embraces the bi energy (this is not to say whether he himself is or not) - that makes a lot of people uncomfy (and angry). He loves theatre and loves to explore the human condition, warts and all - that makes people super uncomfy. Now. There are people who thinks he’s homophobic. Do you know why? Its because his bi character ended up with a woman instead of a man. That is biphobia, no matter how they twist it. Bi people being “allowed” to be bi and not ‘pick the right side’ in the LG (not BT, lets be real) community IS revolutionary because its so very hated. 

Another reason they say he’s homophobic is because of the jokes he is often involved in - some gay men in the fandom believe that joking about sex is him ‘making fun’ of gay relationships. As a bi enby, I disagree, and I read many of the jokes he himself makes as the kind of humor I use among my own friends. I think there is a definite disconnect between bi vs LG humor and I’m not entirely sure who would be considered in the ‘right’ on that. However, when LG people in the fandom claim that he cannot talk about gay relationships because he is cishet? They cannot know that. That is an assumption they are making. When LG fans say that he alone is responsible for this issue and not -literally every single member of CR- ? I have to question whether its really the issue and not just that they still hate Liam for deigning to make a bi character bi instead of gay.

Another thing re: Liam. Aside from Marisha, he is the one I see the most hate about. People on Twitter and Tumblr both have legit uttered death threats about him if he doesn’t do exactly what they want his characters to do in the game. Usually this is about shipping. I have seen people claim that they WISH he was ‘like vic mignogna’ so they’d have a reason to hate him more. I’ve seen a certain group of people and one in particular say they have ‘dirt’ on him but refuse to say what the dirt is - and yet continually bring up that it exists, but that they just cannot say. Why would you incessantly bring up information you possess just to say that you cannot divulge such information? 

Legit issues about CR that is attached to Liam is the whitewashing issue. Some say that only Liam is responsible here because he controls all the art. I would say that we actually don’t know that for sure. He is ‘Art Dad’ and clearly has some pull. I do think that CR should address this issue, but I’m not sure they can legally do what the fandom wants them to do, which is “call-out” artists by name and denounce them. Now, this too is more nuanced than the fandom makes out because its often way more about colorism vs whitewashing. Many people do not draw Beau as white, but they do draw her as much lighter skin tones than her original art. Colorism is a real problem, but white allies tend to go about talking about it wrong or making smaller things a bigger deal when POC would really rather talk about something more important to them. It was these same white allies that tore Mica Burton apart on Twitter because she liked and enjoyed a drawing of Reani, her own character, that was a few shades lighter than the drawing she herself had brought in, even after she had said that she appreciated the variety of skin tones due to seeing herself in each of them. On the topic of whitewashing/colorism in the fandom, I personally tend to wait to hear from POC over the masses of white allies.

The CR fandom is very big for a niche thing like DnD. As such, there are many many corners of the fandom that can get really jaded, really dark, and really up their own ass in regards to the discourse. There are legitimate issues in the fandom and with CR as a whole. Nothing is perfect, nothing ever will be perfect, and people should absolutely do what they can to do better and to ask their media to do better. That being said, there are also people who think that if you don’t do something exactly like they want, then you’re Problematic by default. There are also members of this fandom who have an active vendetta against certain cast members and will use any opportunity to co-opt legit issues in order to shore up their false arguments. These people are only using the real issues and it becomes clear pretty quickly that they don’t actually give a shit about the people they say they are trying to speak up for. 

There is also some fandom drama that has occurred ONLY in fandom and has absolutely nothing to do with CR other than the fact that the people involved happen to be CR fans. Certain people in the fandom think that CR should arbitrate this issue and involve themselves, call out the individuals responsible, etc. This is, I believe, a GROSS misconception of what CR’s role is and asking way too much of a source of entertainment. The fact that CR has not involved themselves in this issue has led certain members of this fandom to claim that CR is homophobic. I would caution that most callouts of CR as homophobic are directly linked to this first issue, and also a callback to the Vaxleth drama from campaign one, and is incontrovertibly tied to bi and enby-phobia and a seriously sick misunderstanding of the responsibilities a show has versus the responsibility individuals have as viewers of said show. 

That’s it for now. I could go way more in depth on this problems, but I’m tired of typing. Suffice it to say, its easy to make a list of things Problematic with CR, but once you actually delve into each topic hopefully you’ll realize how complicated and filled with nuance and Different Opinions going on back from the first episode of Campaign One... Listing problems without actually addressing them head-on isn’t a good way to deal with the problems that are true anyway, let alone tell them from the false ones. 

[9r7g5h]

I have come to the conclusion that none of this happened. Liam properly hid his magic, Amethar was crowned Emperor and quickly set up a council to run the country, and everyone's alive and dandy. Caramellinda was called to come join her husband, and she's able to get over her mistrust of the outside world to join up with Primbalina to become an awesome duo ruling the country, with Amethar as their front and hype man.

Jet and Ruby stay in the capital with their parents for a bit longer, during which Jet and Anabelle begin a whirlwind romance. It doesnt start that way, it starts as just hero worship from Jet and Anabelle agreeing to train her, but they spend more time together and become closer and closer until one day Anabelle pins Jet against the wall with her sword, and one second they're trading barbs about how the other fought, and the next they're making out in the otherwise empty room. They make no promises, come to no agreements, and dont even talk about things for a long while, only having fantastic make out sessions after each training.

Ruby spends her time secretly learning magic from Theo and Lapin and even Liam, soaking up everything she can. When her sister goes off for her "training sessions" (which she totally knows is just code for making out with Anabelle. She's slightly jealous, because she did technically see Anabelle first, but overall she's just glad her sister is happy), she wanders around the capital with the Tart Guard in tow, looking for something to keep herself entertained. She eventually finds a performance troupe, and finds herself falling into her own kind of love. Both with the physics defying stunts the performers are doing, and with a young fructarian, a non-binary peach. The two of them become close friends, the romance that will blossom between them on the slower side, especially because of their differences in status. But Ruby is second in line, and she's happy with taking her time, just excited to see their smile and feel the warmth of their hand in her own.

Liam is always so confused about what he's supposed to be doing on the council, and half the time he just accidently offends people. It doesnt help that he gets another letter from his brothers, claiming that he's fully turned against the family by joining their enemies. But he like Amethar and Jet and Ruby more then his father and brothers, so he just shrugs and waits for someone to tell him what to do. And after a long talk with Caramellinda, they figure out the perfect position for him - Master of the Harvest. Usually a position that goes towards one of the more plant based people, its agreed upon that his knowledge of seeds, of all types, greatly surpasses those of many others, especially for his young age. So he's given a group of guards who understand the magic of druidcraft (which Brennan did say was allowed) and sent off on missions to inspect the crops from each region, returning frequently with reports and his bag full of seeds to show off to his favorite cousins. He has a brief engagement with Primsey, but she's too in love with her lost beu, and he's honest with the fact that he doesnt want to have sex and so wont be able to give her kids. She fully accepts that, and they still stay great, amazing friends. He's always welcomed in her home in the Dairy Islands. Eventually, while it's just him and Preston and his guards for a long while, he does find a kindred spirit in a meat person, a Turkey druid who also doesnt want romance or sex but would love to be held and loves seeds. They strike up a very quick friendship, and soon become the closest either will ever be to a couple. Best friends, traveling the world to look at seeds, holding hands cause they're both aro ace and dont care if people think they're gay.

Lapin manages to keep his secrets from the world at large, though his companions all know the truth, eventually. He works in secret to undermine the Bulb, and allow other religions to sneak their way into being acceptable again. It takes a long time, but eventually he succeeds, in a fashion. The Bulb is still seen as the supreme god, but the Sugarplum Fairy and the Carnivorous Creatures and all the others we dont know about are more seen messengers of the Bulb. Holy in their own right, fighting against The Hungry One in their own right, made of and from the Bulb, if not the Bulb themselves. The true believers of these other religions just roll their eyes and nod, but hey - its progress, and the magic granted by these other beings slowly beings to sink back in and return to Calorum. Lapin is able to eventually relax into his true passion - arguing with that dumb brute of a body guard and teach the future children.

Speaking of the brute, Theo continues to enjoy his job. He loves being a guard, loves training other guards, and when they're still at the capital, he loves training Ruby and Jet. When they're gone, he throws himself into training everyone else, and honestly enjoys himself. He is a war guy, though he's fully adapted to peace, and is just happy to see how the word continues to prosper. When he's not working, he fight with Lapin, drinks and plays games with Amethar, and goes on long walks with Sprinkle. He's an old man, gets to be Lapin's age, though their advanced ages doent stop either of them from constantly going at each other, and just enjoys his life in the capital. He sometimes regrets not having his own family, but the remembers that he does, they're just named the Rocks.

Going back to where we left off the Rocks, rules of Candia, soon enough ways must be parted. Liam's gotten used to saying goodbye to Ruby and Jet, so when its decided that Jet must return home and take up the mantal of Queen, its not hard for him. It is for everyone else, though. Theo is torn about letting this little spitfire go home alone, and Lapin is sure she needs at least another decade of schooling before she'll be ready. Caramelinda is of the same mind, and would go back to continue ruling instead if she wasnt so integral to ruling the rest of the world. Amethar is sure Jet will do fine, she's great, but this is his little girl. He's had to leave a few times, yes, but she's never had to leave him. It's hard.

And Ruby. The two talk for a long, long time, but eventually decide to part ways. Just for now, of course, nonetheless, they have different paths to walk. Ruby is starting a life here in the capital, with their parents and her peach datemate, and it really seems like the circus thing is going to stick. And in court, the few times she's sat in on a meeting, she's been able to provide the common point of view, which has been severely lacking. She likes being helpful, in a non-stressful kind of way. And so, even though she knows Jet needs to go take her place as Queen of Candia, she wants to stay.

And Jet is hurt, because she's the only one in the family who has to leave, and she at least thought Ruby would come with her. But, instead of trying to force her, or find a way to stay, Jet, instead, hits the books. She begins searching through everything she can, putting off her return one more week ("I guess Cal has a decent hold on things for the moment," Emperor Amethar agreed when she told him her plans) to find what she needed. And what she needed was a long distance messaging spell, that Lapin helped to modify. A tether between the two, one they could open at any time, to allow them to speak to each other whenever they wanted. A twin messager, if you would, that allowed them to always be with each other.

That done, Jet said her goodbyes to her family, and went to say her lost goodbye to the woman who has stolen her heart. Only to find her gone, Captain Anabelle Cheddar's ship having set sail in the middle of the night. She kept a straight face, though the moment she was on the road, alone besides the Tart Guarda and the Imperial Soliders her dad had sent with her, Jet opened the channel with Ruby and cried.

It was a rough week of traveling. Not because of any danger, no, it was smooth on that front. But because for the first time in her life, she was going to be alone. It was easier, having Ruby to still talk to, to pass along messages to their parents and friends, but still, it hurt to not have an actual hug when her heart was breaking.

It hurt so bad, she didnt notice the strange ship at port when they passed through their one town that accessed the ocean, only a day's meep ride away from the castle. She didnt notice the strange visitors who joined the crowds there to welcome her home – she was so focused on keeping an excited face.

She only noticed when she entered the throne room, calling for Cal, the only adult figure currently in her life who could give her a hug and promise everything was going to be ok.

Only then did she notice Captain Anabelle Cheddar, playing with a knife as she sat on her throne, ignoring the guards who were trying to scold her. Anabelle, who looked up as Jet entered, and greeted her with a giant smile, welcoming and excited to see her. Anabelle who stood, walked over, and pulled her into a long, deep kiss.

Both of them would soon come to reconsider their positions on marriage, if they could marry the woman next to them. Lapin would get to work, poking and prodding the church to make it allowed, and with Amethar blessing this union, they made it work.

And Amethar? Being Emperor was hard, though less so with support. He learned how to show Caramelinda that he appreciated her, learned how to be a better husband and kind, learned what his actual duties were to the people under his command. Something he should have done a long time ago, but just hadn’t had the will to do so. But now everything was in his court, literally, and he had to do what was right.

And he fell back in love with Caramelinda, all over again. They had been in love before, back when he was fifth in line, before the war. But then time and distance had parted them for so long, and he had fallen for another, a young woman from the Dairy Islands. They had met, married, had their wedding night before war had once again parted them. He finally sat down with Jack, and got the full story – a bit over a year later, the young dairy woman had married a young farmer, they had had children of their own, and a decade ago she had passed from some cheese illness Amethar couldn’t even pretend to understand. He was sad, but was glad that she had had a good life, since he had loved her, in the way that death and violence and needing someone to be there grew a kind of love.

But that was done now. Not gone, but like a closed book, and with that closure, the part of Amethar that had been resisting the life he now had felt a little bit more settled. He still hated every bit of being king, still played hooky with Cal when he visited from being Candia’s advisor or Theo whenever he could, but he tried. He showed Caramelinda how much he appreciated her, and actually finally learned how to read, and figured out names and stations so he could help make the world a better place, and it was worth it.

It was worth it to fall back in love with Caramelinda, to actually feel the flips in his stomach that she used to give him, back before when he was young and before war had broken something inside of him. It was worth it to see that smile of hers, and know that she was feeling it too, the love they had both wanted and struggled for for the last twenty years. It was worth it to kiss his wife and actually be happy.

And damn it, if Gustav’s last prank was to make him responsible for the entire world, then at least he was by the side of the best of wives and best of women, Caramelinda of the house of Rocks.

And it was worth it, in the end. It was worth it to help Lapin out whenever he could, slowly reshaping the church so it better fit the world they were making. It was worth it to watch Theo train the next generation of guards into a fighting force that almost surpassed himself, guards loyal and loving and just as kind and as great a friend as Theo was himself.  It was worth it to see Liam grow into a confident young man, sure of himself, instrumental in helping to ensure the continent was properly fed. It was worth it to watch Ruby become a master performer and spy, passing on the commoner’s thoughts of him and his empire so adjustments could be made, so the masses could be protected and cared for and satisfied without fear. In fact, many sought out Ruby, knowing she had the Emperor’s ear, and could pass on what they were scared to say to his face, for even though he was a good, kind ruler, a fear of rulers still existed. It was worth it to see Queen Jet and Queen Consort Anabelle rule his old home with kindness and love, their union having strengthened the Candian alliance with the Dairy Islands.

It was worth it, as age crept in, to sit there, holding hands with the love of his life, watching as a chocolate milk girl wrestled with a cobbler boy, all while two little cheesecake children slept in their laps. It was worth it to lean over and kiss Caramelinda’s cheek, to see the love pouring from her as they watched over their grandchildren, knowing that soon their friends and the rest of their family would be in one room again, and that none of them would ever have to be war people. It was worth it to know that, because of their efforts, all they would know was peace, and if the most these children ever became was a ruler, or a performer, or a knight, or a warlock, or a seed guy, all because of their efforts?

It was enough.

Except for poor Thad who, as far as they knew, was still in the alley.

[msjr0119]

We Belong

Part 9

Evangeline Bruley returns to Cordonia to take over her families Duchy. She was betrothed to the now King, however he is engaged to Duchess Riley but still has lingering feelings towards his first love. What will happen during her time back in Cordonia?

Just using combined tag list- if you want to be removed just let me know 😊

@pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @yukinagato2012 @dcbbw @qammh-blog @nz1091 @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @princess-geek @jared2612 @desiree---1986 @gardeningourmet @twinkle-320 @queenjilian @forthebrokenheartedthings-blog @princessleac1 @scarletreesex

Wahay I’ve finally wrote a full chapter 🙌🏼- thank you everyone who has asked how I am, I’m getting there. If there’s any spelling mistakes etc, just please ignore it and I’ll rectify it when I can 😘

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol abuse, mention of murder, loss, slight grief, marshmallow Drakey.

*****

Maybe I’ve been foolish letting you down

I’ve been a little selfish not being around

But if I lost you I’d be helpless inside

Gotta hold on to our love tonight

Cause now that I found that someone I believe in

And I feel so complete by your side

It’s the only time I’ll ever love somebody baby in my life

We gotta hold on to our love tonight

I know that you’ve been hurting

The pains in your eyes

I promise you im changing I feel it inside

I dont know what I would do if it all passes by

We gotta hold on to our love tonight

When you find love never let it go

Because now I realise what your mean to me

Cause now that I found that someone I believe in

And I feel so complete by your side

It’s the only time I’ll ever love somebody baby in my life

Drake stayed by Evie’s side as he sung the song in her ear. Holding onto her hand, he became clammy hoping that she would soon wake up. She had just returned from surgery, the doctors briefly explained that it could have been worse, but there was something they was keeping from him as he wasn’t recorded as the next of kin. The next of kin for her was Olivia once her parents had passed away.

“How’s she doing?” Liam asked as he arrived at her bedside. Drake was confused as to why he was here, it was his wedding night and he should be embracing it with his new Queen.

“She’s breathing. She’s alive. They haven’t said much due to me not being next of kin. Where’s Brooks? Shouldn’t you be with her?”

“Riley understands. Don’t worry about her, Hana is with her. Your mom is in the cells with Duke Tobias. I think my country needs me here at this moment in time. Both of them mentioned about this Anton person but we don’t know who he is or where he is. Riley and myself have made a joint decision to postpone our honeymoon. Evie is everyone’s priority. Justin the press secretary offered to talk to Bianca and Tobias believing as an outsider that they may open up to him more, I didn’t really understand why but it worked.”

“Bianca! Toby! I demand answers now! Evie is fighting for her life. It’s my wedding day. An event that neither of you were invited to!” Punching the table in front of him, this gesture made the two prisoners jump slightly- hoping now that they realised how much trouble they were in. Or so Liam believed.

“I didn’t mean to stab her Liam. We have a past, I wouldn’t hurt her again.”

“Oh course you wouldn’t.” Bianca responded sarcastically. Not giving two damns about him pining for Evie, like her son.

“Shut the fuck up! You don’t know anything about mine and Evie’s relationship.”

Bastien interrupted the conversation, explaining that Justin was outside urgently needing to talk to Liam.

“Justin? How may I help you?”

“I heard about what had happened? Is her majesty okay?” And alive, fucking useless morons.

“Yes, luckily. But it’s my dearest friend Evie that got the wrath of it.”

“As I am Riley’s press secretary, maybe I could have a word with them both? They may speak to me more as I’m not the King.”

Liam agreed, not knowing if they would open up or not. Justin explained that he would enter without company and if there was any danger he would exit the cell immediately.

“Now I know how you could mistake two beautiful brunettes- but you stabbed the wrong one! What happened?”

“I did as planned, I saw the Queen and I had the knife in my hand ready to threaten her. But my ex fiancée Evangeline was forced into me by her. She’s a liability Anton. She’s always drunk!”

“Bianca, you want revenge on the crown but as Toby said, you’re a liability. When am I going to have chance to take the royal family out now?”

“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’ll try harder. We want the same. I don’t understand your reasoning though Duke Tobias.”

“I haven’t really got any vendetta, I’m just in it for the money. Myself and Liam were friends as children. Our parents were allies. Then we drifted apart. Anton can you get any information on Evie for me please.”

“You don’t deserve any information. So plan D. We failed to kill Riley because your son jumped in front of her, the roof didn’t kill anyone and they all went on that stupid unity tour, you both cocked up plan C.”

“Plan D?” They both said in unison.

“Plan D, I will inform Liam that one of you are totally innocent with the tragic event that occurred tonight. One of you will be let free. I will get the crown with or without your help!”

Exiting the cell, he informed the guards to separate the two prisoners as they began a fight. Lying, he faked shaking- making it out that he was a hero getting a slight bit of information.

“So?” Liam asked, still frustrated with the events that had happened.

“Your majesty, I’m so sorry. You have a traitor within your ‘court’. One of them is innocent, they are sincere. The other one is mentally not stable. This person is the ringleader and they were involved in every assassination attempt that has occurred. The one that injured Sir Walker, the one that nearly killed your father when the roof collapsed, then tonight.”

“Which one Justin?”

“Sir, the innocent party in this is.....” Whispering in his ear the name, Liam grit his teeth. Anger raging through his body.

“Thank you for your help Justin. I have to go and visit Evie. If the press require a statement, could you inform them that there is no comment at this moment in time? I’d appreciate that. I’ll deal with them tomorrow.”

“Of course your majesty. Anything.”

Liam reiterated his point of view from the interaction in the cells, Drake shook his head, ashamed to have a mother like her.

“What’s going to happen to my mom Liam?” Drake wasn’t concerned about his mother’s punishment- as far as he was aware she was now non existent with her confession regarding the Bruleys and the involvement in Evie’s attack.

“I’ll leave that decision up to the council, and Evie when she pulls through. Do you want a coffee?”

“You’re trying to make me leave her aren’t you?”

“You have your own mind Drake, but you look knackered. Max has brought you some spare clothes too. We will be five minutes tops. Olivia can come in and sit with her.” Drake nodded, knowing his friend was correct in some manner. He didn’t want Evie to wake up, seeing him wearing a suit that was covered in her blood, potentially traumatising her more. Kissing her on the forehead, Liam’s heart sunk- seeing his best friend broken in front of him. Realising how much love Drake had for Evie, he had hoped that she would forgive him for his silly mistake.

*****

Olivia entered the room, asking for time alone with Evie without Maxwell being a burden breaking down even more.

“You’re not superwoman you know Evie, I know Drake fucked up- but he loves you. I hope your stubborn ass will forgive him. I hope there’s no recording of me saying this, I still hate him.” Laughing to herself, she hated seeing her best friend in this way- ready to cause havoc if she ever saw Bianca Walker and Toby again.

“Duchess Olivia I assume? My name is Dr Hussain. May I have a moment of your time please.”

“You assume correct. What is the matter?”

“On our records you are Duchess Evangeline’s next of kin. I assume Mr Walker is close to her, but I have to let you know about her injuries.”

“Go on...”

“We stopped the bleeding from the open wound, however there was more bleeding from elsewhere. Was Duchess Evangeline aware that she was pregnant?”

“Was?”

“Yes, unfortunately once we realised the possibility of why she was bleeding we did an ultrasound - there was no heartbeat.” Olivia remained silent, not knowing how to comprehend the news- looking at Evie, her heart shattered in pieces for her.

“Dr Hussain, can we not inform her straight away about the miscarriage? She’s been through enough, I’m sure King Liam would agree.” The doctor explained that he would have to inform his patient before discharging her but agreed for the time being to remain mute- he also explained the outcome of what was due to happen once the miscarriage was fully over. As Evie couldn’t consent on what to do regarding her miscarriage at the moment, there was three options; wait for her body to naturally remove the baby, take a pill, or have a surgical removal of the baby.

Leaving Olivia alone with Evie, she wiped the tears that were pouring down her cheek- thinking about what the best option was for her friend.

“Look at what you’ve made me do now, I’m crying- I’m Olivia Nevrakis I never cry. I forgive you for puking in my Prada bag- or do I? I can replace that, but I can’t replace you. For fuck sake Evie, in future just stand in the corner of the room like your lover and not interfere with anyone. Or at least leave it to someone like me- who actually carries self defence weapons in case of emergencies.” Hearing the door open, she grabbed a tissue and over exaggerated blowing her nose- hoping this would be a good enough excuse for why her eyes were watering.

“Liv? Is everything okay? Are you crying?”

“Me cry? Ha! Don’t be stupid Walker. It’s dusty in here, not doing my allergies any good. Where’s Liam?”

“He’s on the phone to the kings guard, something about Toby or my mom.”

“Good! Well not good. Just sit with me.” Drake hesitantly sat beside her, wondering why she forced his hand onto Evie’s.

“Drake, I don’t like you. I never have done, and I probably never will do. But you two belong with each other. There’s something I need to tell you....” Taking a deep breath, Drake noticed tears creeping from the duchesses eyes. “Evie was pregnant. She lost the baby. I’m so sorry.”

“She... my baby... I...it’s my fault...” Pulling him into her embrace, she was grateful that there was some hand sanitiser near by- not that Drake had germs, she just didn’t like him or his heavy whiskey scent.

“It’s not your fault Drake...” although you publicly dumped her, and your mother caused this- but I won’t say that out loud. “I’ll leave you alone with her, looks like you have a lot of grovelling to do. If you need anything just let me know.”

“Thanks Liv, but you know I still hate you right?”

“The feelings are mutual Walker.” Winking at him, she provided him with a smile- a genuine sincere smile. Something that he never believed he would receive from his worse enemy.

Cause now that I found that someone I believe in

And I feel so complete by your side

It’s the only time I’ll ever love somebody baby in my life

We gotta hold on to our love tonight

“Hold on to our love forever, please wake up soon. I love you.” Drake placed one hand into hers, and the other lingering over her stomach. Attempting to fight back the tears, he couldn’t prevent them from falling. I’m so sorry.

*****

Drake fell asleep, leaning over the bed- his emotions had got the best of him. All the what if’s still roaming through his subconscious mind. The guilt hammering and stabbing him constantly in his heart. Evie began to stir, the bright light preventing her eyes to open fully.

“Drake?” Her voice was hoarse, his name barely escaped her chapped and dry lips. Pressing the buzzer next to her arm, she wanted assistance due to him being ‘crashed out’. The three friends waiting outside rushed in first after hearing the alarm. Panic setting in, wondering if Evie had potentially had a sudden relapse.

“Evie!” Maxwell screeched, waking Drake up from his slumber.

“Is there a problem?” Dr Hussain questioned as a team of staff rushed in all breathless.

“I pressed... it... I... you can... all go...I don’t want any visitors.”

“Evie? You need us here to help you.” Liam insisted- instead of responding Evie looked into Drake’s eyes, before brushing his hand away and focusing her gaze elsewhere. Not making any eye contact with any of her friends.

“I just want to be alone.”

“I think you should all leave. If Duchess Evangeline changes her mind regarding visitors we shall let you know.” Liam tapped Drake on the shoulder, his body was all frozen- not expecting for her to react this way. Escorting him out, he asked Maxwell and Olivia to sit with him.

“Dr Hussain, a word outside if I may?”

“Duchess Olivia informed me about Evangeline’s miscarriage. I don’t know about hospital policies but I am begging you as your monarch to not inform her about this. It has to come from Drake, the father of the baby. I will ensure that none of the staff will be blamed for this deceit and will get you to fill a form out. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, your Majesty. I will keep Duchess Olivia upto date with news regarding discharge if she still refuses to see anyone.”

*****

Three Weeks Later:

Liam entered the Duchy, not knowing what to expect- not knowing how Evie would respond to him showing up unexpectedly. As he was King, he knew she didn’t have the authority to throw him out as she had done everyone else over the weeks since returning from hospital.

Remember Liam, don’t tell her about the baby. That shouldn’t come from you.

I know Liv! I’m not stupid! I just want to make sure that she is okay, that she is eating and looking after herself.

You should be on your honeymoon with Riley. Leo’s sorting out Toby and Bianca. Evie is not your concern Liam.

She’s still my best friend, and if she is willing to talk to me - I’m going to talk to her. Riley understands. I’ll keep you updated. You check on Drake.

“Hello Evangeline.” Looking up from the kitchen table, she sighed as Annabelle the majordomo escorted Liam in.

“Your majesty.”

“Evie, come on. No titles required.”

“Liam.” Emphasising his name, she stared vacantly into the black coffee as Annabelle excused herself. Liam had hired her against Evie’s wishes, but she had been closed off from everyone- not allowing anyone to see her.

“Shouldn’t you be on your honeymoon?” She questioned with a slight bit of sarcasm in her voice- not really understanding why he was here, again.

“Should be but I’ve had a lot to deal with, and we need to make sure you are fine.”

“Oh I’m fine. A stab wound to add to the bruised ribs. Danger just loves to follow me around.”

“Exactly, so you need to allow us to see you. You need to talk to Dr....”

“I do not need to talk to Drake. He’s the reason why I’m like this. His mother is the reason I am like this. End of story.” He needs to talk to you.

“How about I make us something to eat, then we can watch titanic. I know I’m not Max. But I can cry like he does.” Liam faked crying, very over dramatically- providing Evie to laugh for the first time in weeks. And there’s that beautiful smile, baby steps. Liam managed to fix a meal together for the two of them, finding pasta and sauce in the cupboard it was a basic meal. Evie hesitantly ate it, but he could see that she was being stubborn. Smiling softly at her, gave her the encouragement to eat it all. They settled on the couch, and as promised he put titanic on. They spent the entire movie sitting close to each other, Liam kept his arm around her as she snuggled into his embrace. The cuddles they shared felt like a little touch of heaven- content with each other like when they was younger. Even though he was married with a pregnant wife, Liam had wished that he could extend his stay just so he could stay close to her for longer, keeping her safe in his arms and embrace. It was the closest anyone had been with her, and he felt relieved that someone could make her finally open up- even if it was just her arms wrapped around him. Cupping her cheek, he felt a dampness in his his fingertips- now realising that she had been crying once the film had ended.

“Evie?”

“Yes?”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine Liam. Thank you for coming. I now understand that this is probably what I needed.” Liam drew closer towards her, she could feel her heart beat so hard- scared that he would feel it. Kissing her softly on the cheek, left a small damp mark- knowing this was his way of being polite, a sign of their long term friendship she didn’t read too much in to it. A small grin crept onto his face as he pulled away silently. His eyes locking on to hers as her cheeks painted themselves a bright shade of red. Unexpectedly his lips brushed hers not in an innocent manner it was more passionate and demanding. Knowing deep down this was wrong, she needed to pull away before she lost herself in to him- but she couldn’t. It was as if all her senses had disappeared, she couldn’t think straight. Guilt. Guilt was the devil on her shoulder encouraging her to resist the soft touch of the King. The angel suddenly forced its way into her mind, making her push him away- knowing she had crossed the line. She was now a hypocrite calling Riley the ‘court whore’.

“I... I think you should... go.” Shaking his head, he blatantly ignored her suggestion. Instead he stood up, holding his hand out to her- leading her upstairs.

Fuck, startled she sat up in bed in a shot, sweat dripping off her forehead. Why am I dreaming about Liam?

“Are you okay your grace?”

“Yes, thank you. Sorry if I woke you. And please just call me Evie. I’ve been telling you this for weeks now, I’m sorry I was horrible to you when you first arrived- I was more angry towards Liam than you for his deceit. I’m happy he hired you on my behalf now, so please- we are friends. I’m Evie to you, not your grace.”

“Sorry, Evie. How are you feeling? Do you need me to do anything for you?”

“No, thank you - Annabelle. When’s the council meeting?”

“This afternoon at 1pm. His majesty called by late last night to remind me. He was occupied by Duchess Olivia and Sir Walker.....”

“Good evening Annabelle, is Duchess Evangeline available?” Annabelle opened the door allowing the visitors to enter the Duchy. Curtsying for Liam, she regained her normal posture before biting her lip- nervous that she was once again going to have to refuse them from seeing Evie.

“Your majesty, she is asleep. She still isn’t up for visitors. May I help?”

“We was hoping to speak to her, but it’s okay. The council meeting tomorrow is at one o’clock- if the Duchess is going to be attending could you inform her please. If she doesn’t attend we all understand.”

“Of course your Majesty. Is that all?”

“Is she eating?” Olivia asked, that was her main priority over the council meeting. Ensuring that her stubborn friend wasn’t killing herself out of spite.

“Yes your grace, I ensure that she is looking after herself. To begin with she was very withdrawn, and still is in some context. Sir Walker...”

“Just call me Drake. Please.”

“Drake... I know you need to talk to her personally, but give her time. She’s been through a lot- she will eventually become the Evie you all once knew. Healing takes time.”

“Maybe we should just send Drake upstairs, beg on your knees for forgiveness. Like a dog.” Olivia narrowed her eyes at Drake, the last few weeks she had been like a stuck record- drilling into his head how much he messed up.

“Liv, don’t you think I know that. I just want her to look at me, to talk to me. I fucked up and I want to make amends with her.”

“You’ll have to kiss and make up brother. You must be a better kisser than I was as she chose you. As Annabelle suggested healing takes time. Thank you for your time Annabelle. You’re doing a marvellous job. Goodnight.”

“I did as you said, explaining as I have done since King Liam hired me that you didn’t want any visitors until you was ready.” I know you did Annabelle, I was stood in the shadows overhearing the conversation. Maybe that’s why I dreamt about Liam kissing me?

“Thank you. Shall we go out for breakfast? Change of scenery? My treat as a thank you.”

******

Evie arrived at the palace unusually late- usually she was like Bertrand, insisting that meetings or events you had to be punctual. Walking fast, her breathing was heavy but she believed it was also due to nerves- nerves that were self inflicted as she had chosen to ignore everyone. Forcing the door open, the room went mute all of a sudden. Everyone mirrored the same expression, a big smile.

“Sorry I’m late, stop gawking at me. I’m not a ghost, not yet anyway- maybe next time.” Seeing Liam raise his eyebrows up with her ‘joke’ she sat next to Olivia, who held her friend’s hand. “Carry on Your majesty. I won’t interrupt.”

“It’s nice to see you Evie, I’m sure we can all agree. You showed up at the right time actually, we was about to discuss the punishment options for Bianca Walker and Duke Tobias. We want you to have the final decision as you was affected.”

“Toby can have his dick chopped off for all I care, and exiled out of Cordonia. And for that woman- I think she should face the death penalty.” Everyone provided her with the same look- shock. Obviously they knew she would have anger, but didn’t expect that from the kindness noble they knew - if anyone it would be Olivia that they would expect it from.

“I’m joking....” or am I? “Toby is British, simple- send him home. But with Bianca, I have one suggestion. Not many of you will agree with me, not many of you may like her- but she is still Drake and Savannah’s mom. She tragically lost Jackson, she’s dependent on alcohol. I’ve never had an addiction, but it must be hard to be so reliant on it. Maybe she just needs some rehab and counselling, to become the Bianca- the caring mother, the welcoming friend, we all knew when we was younger. Bartie doesn’t want to see his grandmother the way Drake and Savannah saw her for the majority of their childhoods. She’s not only a mother, but a grandmother to a gorgeous little boy who will want all his nanas attention before they have anymore children- she needs help.” They all gulped, all knowing that Drake hadn’t had the opportunity to tell her about her miscarriage. On behalf on Evie, they agreed with the doctor to allow her body to naturally remove the baby, if she was to question it, Dr Hussain suggested that it was an early period brought on by stress- going against all morals, he didn’t have a choice to rebel against the decision as he was surrounded by nobles and the royal family.

“Liam, can I have a word with you in private please? I’m sure Bertrand could carry on?” Liam nodded, escorting Evie out- he wondered what was on her mind.

“How are you feeling?”

“Where’s Drake? I’m just a bit sore, I had this awful cramping in my stomach- and a heavy period, sorry too much information.” Placing his hands around her waist, he knew what exactly she was referring to- feeling guilt ridden he needed to keep providing that infamous stoic expression as he held her in his arms.

“I’m glad you’re okay, I just wished that you would have seen us all before now. Drake... he’s... he’s not very well.” Oh great, just lie to her yet again. I’m going to have no balls left, once she finds out the truth.

“I see, could you take me to the cells? I’m not bothered about seeing Toby, but I need closure with Bianca.”

“Are you sure that’s wise?”

“Please Liam.”

******

“Bianca...” Evie nervously announced herself into the cell, followed closely by Liam and Bastien. All the hate she had towards the woman, slowly drained away- seeing her in this vulnerable state obviously not having any option but to cold turkey. Bianca bit her nails, her whole body was trembling- until she saw the people enter. Correcting her posture, she knew she had to act ‘sane’ in order to have any chance of escaping any punishment.

“Your majesty, Duchess Evangeline.” Faking a smile, she had lost count of how many days she had been here in the cold yet damp cell. If it wasn’t the rats scurrying past her, she heard the echoes of the guards conversations. “It’s good to see you alive Evie.”

“I’m like a cat, with nine lives- except I’ve only got seven left. I assume that you are wondering why I am here?” Bianca scowled at her, before nodding. “At the council meeting, Liam wanted myself to have the final say about your punishment as you harmed me. Then blamed Toby for it all, you must have forgotten that the Queen was a witness. But anyway, I originally wanted the death penalty. You hurt your children, you lost your husband because of your addiction, you potentially could have killed me. How many more people do you want to hurt?”

“I’ve hurt a few more. Not purposely. One being my own grandchild.” And your parents.

“You’ve hurt Bartie? How low can you stoop?”

“Evie, I think it’s time we left. Bianca, Evie has decided to save your life as long as you agree to counselling and rehab. That was her decision, if you ignore the conditions you will leave me no choice.”

“Why are you changing the subject Liam?”

“I’m not...” Don’t you fucking dare say what I think you are about to, it has to come from Drake.

“Oh Evie, it was fate that my grandchild that you was carrying tragically didn’t want to stay with you.”

“Bianca, I have no idea what you are on about.”

“Ask your precious King Charming if it’s true...” Evie looked towards Liam who was scowling towards the woman as Bastien covered his hand with his mouth, as he shook his head with Bianca’s malicious attitude.

“Li?”

“Evie... fuck. We didn’t want you to know once you’d woken up, you’d been through so much. I’m so sorry. Drake wanted to talk to you, it was between the two of you. We’d assumed you would have let him talk to you.. not shut everyone out...”

“I.. I... we.. we was having a baby? She made me miscarry?”

“As I said it was fate.” Cackling in the background, Evie soon regretted sticking up for the woman in the meeting- her hate had immediately returned with vengeance.

“Liam, I’ve changed my mind. Stick to my original decision- death... I need to find Drake.”

*****

Exiting the cell, she felt as if she was about to hyperventilate. All these weeks, none of her friends had mentioned her true injuries- although she had been avoiding them. Catching her breath, she knocked on his door- not really knowing what to do or say. Believing that everything that was to occur would be spontaneous.

“Go away Liam.” Hearing his voice through the walls, he sounded broken- assuming it was due to her actions, she took a deep breath.

“I was just wondering why you wasn’t present at the meeting.” Hearing the door open, they both stared at each other- neither knowing how to elaborate on this conversation.

“I erm. I wasn’t feeling up to going. Are you okay?”

“Can I come in?”

“I’d rather you didn’t Evie....”

“We need to talk.” Forcing her way through the door, she noticed three empty bottles of whiskey- assuming there would be more if she scrutinised the room. Feeling ashamed with himself, most people would criticise him- but in his mind this was the only way to heal the pain he had gone through alone.

“I’m not an alcoholic...” Defending himself, he hoped that she wouldn’t send him to rehab. Hoping that if he could talk to her and explain his reasons that she may understand.

“Whiskey to you is like tap water it doesn’t affect you. I’m not criticising you Drake. You might want to shave soon though.” Smiling at him, her heart fluttered. Even though he had hurt her, she still cared deeply for him- and always would do.

“You don’t like this look? I think I’d suit a bit of a beard...” Winking at her, she laughed-even if it was quietly he still heard it, not wanting to say anything to push her away he made the decision to let her begin the conversation.

“Actually it does suit you, I’m just used to not seeing you with more than a bit of stubble...” Tracing her fingers along his forming beard-that spark returned with this slight touch. Quickly removing her hand, she saw disappointment in his eyes, but she couldn’t go back to where they was prior to the wedding shower. “So, I saw your mom....”

“Why would you see her? Don’t you ever see her again! Promise me Evie.” She’s a maniac.

“I saw her to personally inform her of her punishment for her harming me....” Pausing, she needed to say more- taking her time, she finally finished her sentence off. “...and our baby.”

“How... how do... you know? I wanted to talk to you about it, but....”

“Your mom blurted it out. I’m so sorry Drake. If I knew... I’d have... I would have... we could have supported each other...” Pulling her into his embrace, she didn’t want to cry in front of him- most people would say it was tragic, that it wasn’t a baby- but to them they would be grieving over the loss of their future together.

“I’m so sorry... I’d have looked after you both, I’d have provided for you both, I’d have loved you both with all my heart.”

“I know you would have done... I’ve got a few things to do, we could meet up tomorrow and talk properly?”

“I’d like that. I wrote you a letter, I wasn’t sure if you was ever going to speak to me again. Here.”

“I’ll read it when I get home, come to mine tomorrow- say brunch time?”

“Sure.” Evie gave him a half hearted smile, walking towards the door- he grabbed her wrist.

“I love you.” Not responding back, she slowly closed the door behind her. Pausing outside in the hallway, she immediately regretted not saying those three words back. Opening the door slowly, she witnessed him pouring the whiskey down the sink- wondering if he was feeling okay. Wondering why he would do that?

“I love you too Drake.” She whispered, before exiting the room once more.

******

Arriving back at her Duchy, Annabelle welcomed her as always. Sitting in the kitchen, her fingers traced the white envelope- hesitating whether to open it or not. Annabelle gave her a coffee, whilst looking at her confused- Evie noticed and decided to confide in the woman sat next to her.

“Drake gave me it, he said he was unsure if I would ever speak to him again. I assume you know about the baby?” Feeling guilty that everyone knew apart from the mother herself, she nodded. “Do you think we’d have made good parents?”

“I believe you would have, no doubt about it. He seems to care a lot about you.”

“Do you have family or friends here in Cordonia?”

“Yes ma’am, not too far from here. Why do you ask?”

“Once you have finished, why don’t you go home and have tomorrow off? I’m fine, if I need you I’ll will contact you.”

“Thank you. I’ll be back early Friday morning.”

“Goodnight Annabelle, and thank you for all your help. I’m going to go upstairs.”

Walking upstairs, she entered the master bedroom. Pulling the dress out of the wardrobe that she was wearing at the royal wedding, the tears that she had so cleverly kept hidden now rushed out like a burst dam. Opening the letter, her mind was flooded by his scent.

Evie, Lina. You’re probably reading this because you are refusing to acknowledge me, not that I blame you one bit. I’m not writing this for you to feel sorry for me, I just need to communicate with you in some way. There are things I need to tell you, things that probably should be said in person. I never wanted to let you go, I love you so much that it hurts. My Mom is poison and always will be, at times I wish she had died rather than my Dad- I know I’m a horrible person for saying this. In my stupid mind, I thought losing you would be for the best, to protect you. Then the night of the wedding, I could have potentially lost you for good- never having the opportunity to tell you how I truly feel. I don’t deserve you, I never have done- I’m just Drake the commoner, who is best friends with the King. The King who gave me a title out of pity, not because I deserved it or earned it. I’m not sure if you know this, but your parents made me heir to your Duchy if anything was to happen to you- could you imagine? I hate nobles. Except Liam and you obviously. Even though you have survived, I still lost a bit of you- a bit of us both. Super spunk here managed to get you pregnant, but we lost our baby. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t protect you both. I’m sat here crying because I just want to hold you in my arms, telling you that everything is going to be okay- that I’m the biggest jerk alive. If you ever decide to talk to me again, I will fight to win your love back- I want a future with you and without you in it my future is bleak. If you just want to stay friends, I suppose having you in my life as a friend is better than nothing at all. I love you so much Evie, and I’ll never stop loving you. D x

Wiping her tears, they just kept appearing- then her thoughts lingered on her parents choice of heir.

“Was you really that desperate for an heir that you’d choose Drake Walker? Seriously?” She managed to laugh in between the tears. “It’s a good job that I’m a fighter, that I decided it wasn’t time... no wonder in my dream Jackson persuaded me to not give up, he knew that Drake wouldn’t cope..” My grandchildren. Grandchildren? Was that my subconscious informing me that I was pregnant? Or was it really Jackson, Mom and Dad? I need to see Drake. Now. Not tomorrow.

Grabbing her coat, car keys and bag- she ran downstairs needing to get to the palace as soon as possible. Hoping that Drake would still be there, if not the only other place would be his cabin. Opening the door, her eyes widened.

“What are you doing here?”

[badchoicesposts]

Loyalty Or Royalty

Chapter 2

Summary: Mia Bhatt spent years trying to escape her past, trying to escape the feeling of betrayal that was left in her heart after the fire, and she finally had. She was marrying the King of Cordonia and was finally going to get her happily ever after. But, after a momentary lapse in judgement caused her to send a wedding invitation to someone she was sure had forgotten about her, she realizes that sometimes the past has a way of crawling back to you.

Author’s Note: In this fic Anton and The Sons of Earth were caught before the wedding. Also this story will contain flashbacks that will be in italics.

Pairing: Liam x MC (Mia Bhatt), Platonic!Colt x MC, MC x The Mercy Park Crew

TRIGGER WARNING: VERY BRIEF MENTION OF PARENTAL ABUSE

Taglist: @flowerpowell​​, @dcbbw​​, @texaskitten30​​, @kingliam2019​, @hopefulmoonobject​, @lovehugsandcandy​, @los-cafeteros​​, @desiree-0816​, @lovemychoices​

Prologue, Chapter 1

Mia watched with a smile as Colt blew out the seven candles on his birthday cake. He was only two years older than her, and she didn’t understand what the big deal was but she knew that as soon as his parents left the two of them alone, he would be teasing her for still being five while he was seven. It was a small celebration, with just the two of them and both of Colt’s parents, and although they were doing their best to fake smiles, both children could feel the tension in the room as Teppei and Annya shared subtle glares.

Annya rose to help Colt cut the cake, guiding his hand and portioning out two pieces for both children, leaving them alone to enjoy the chocolate dessert. Annya exited the room to place the knife in the kitchen sink, and Teppei followed soon after her, the sound of a whispered argument making their way out to where both kids were sitting.

“They’re always fighting,” Colt sulked, picking at his cake unhappily. 

“At least your dad doesn’t hit you and your mom when they argue,” Mia said, having been no stranger to unhappy parents. 

Even at such a young age, she knew it wasn’t right, and she couldn’t help but wonder why her mom didn’t do anything to stop it. She supposed it was because after her dad did it, he would always apologize and buy the two of them flowers.

“I know what would make me feel better,” Colt said, a mischievous smile breaking out over his face. 

Mia was just about to ask him what he was talking about when she gasped at the feeling of cold chocolate frosting on her face. 

“That’s not nice!” she exclaimed.

However, Colt could tell that she wasn’t actually angry because of the wide smile she had on her face as she reached over to grab her own piece of cake. She pushed it into his face and giggled softly at the angry scowl that she could see through the clumps of brown cake and frosting on his face. The two continued to throw cake at each other, laughing uncontrollably until Annya’s scandalized gasp caused them to stop. Even as she ushered the two of them into the bathroom to get cleaned up and tucked them into Colt’s bed for the night, they continued to laugh quietly to themselves. 

~~~

“We’re going to the reception in an actual horse drawn carriage?” Mia asked, a small laugh escaping her lips as Liam helped her into the vehicle. 

“It seemed appropriate,” Liam responded, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her into his side.

“Have I told you that I loved you recently? Because I really do,” she said, nuzzling her face into the side of his neck. 

Liam let out an uncomfortable sigh, causing Mia to pull away. 

“What is it?”

“I... I hope you still feel that way in a few minutes,” he mumbled, squeezing her hand gently.

“Why wouldn’t I?” she asked with an amused smile.

“I may have asked the staff to change around the seating arrangements so that Colt and Ellie could sit with the rest of us at dinner,” he said nervously. 

Mia immediately moved away from him.

“What? Why? Why would you do that?” she asked.

“Because I can see how much you care about him. He should be there to properly celebrate with us, and I figured it would give you two a chance to talk,” Liam tried reasoning with her.

“Liam, this is our wedding reception not a therapy session,” she argued.

“I know,” he said, reaching over to grab her hand. “I just thought that it would be a good chance to just enjoy each other’s company instead of fighting.”

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but you shouldn’t have,” she said, just as the carriage pulled up to the reception venue.

Liam helped her out of the carriage, and the two entered, the sound of cheers meeting their ears. They made their obligatory rounds around the room before settling in for dinner. Mia shot a glare in Liam’s direction as she sat at the largest table in the room, which was actually two tables pushed together to form one large enough for them and all of their friends and family. She wasn’t shocked at all to see that she was seated directly across from Colt and reminded herself not to roll her eyes in front of the entire court. 

“So, Mia, are you going to introduce us to your friends?” Leo asked, causing her to share an uncomfortable look with the rest of the crew. 

“Right, um, everyone this is Colt and Ellie. Colt, this is Leo, Maxwell, Hana, Olivia, and Liam’s stepmother Regina. And you already know Drake and obviously Liam,” she said making the awkward introduction as the first course was served. 

Everyone else already knew each other because the rest of the crew had arrived a few days before the wedding. 

“Well, it’s an honor to meet you, Colt. I can tell you’re obviously someone who means a great deal to Mia,” Liam said kindly.

“Someone who used to,” Mia muttered under her breath, although everyone heard her. 

She grabbed her wine glass and downed it all in one go, and one of the servers quickly stepped forward to get her a refill. She saw Colt raise his brows in surprise at the action, but he didn’t comment. Liam cleared his throat uncomfortably and rested his hand on Mia’s thigh in a reassuring manner. 

“So, Colt, what do you do for a living?” Liam tried again, to which Mia let out a loud laugh. 

“Yes, Colt, what do you do for a living?” she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. 

She watched as Colt’s jaw clenched ever so slightly and his grip on his fork tightened. 

“I, uh, I’m in between jobs right now. But, my last job was… as a mechanic,” he said through gritted teeth. 

“Do you live in New York as well?” Liam asked. 

“You know, Li, that’s a great question!” Mia exclaimed, turning to Colt and giving him her full attention. She raised her eyebrows at him expectantly as she waited for him to answer the question. 

“I’ve spent the last few years moving around a lot,” Colt answered, and Mia saw Ellie give him a nervous look. 

“Moving around where exactly?” Mia asked. 

“A lot of places,” he said, meeting her gaze head on.

“Like where?” she asked more insistently. 

“It’s not important,” Colt responded. 

“Mia, maybe we shouldn’t-” Logan tried to interrupt.

However, at this point, Mia was too far gone to stop. She held her hand up to silence him and kept her eyes locked onto Colt’s. 

“Where have you been, Colt? Where have you been for the past seven years?” she exclaimed, everyone going silent around her. 

“Look, Mellie,” Colt began, letting out a tired sigh.

“No! Don’t take that tone. Don’t act like me wanting to know is some kind of inconvenience to you or like I’m being unreasonable!” she whisper yelled across the table to keep from drawing attention from the tables around them. “And you don’t get to call me ‘Mellie’ anymore!”

He was always the only person that called her that and hearing him say it now only added to her irritation. It had originally started because he had trouble saying “Amelia” when he was a kid, and it just stuck, even when everyone else around her started calling her “Mia”.

“You think I left because I wanted to?” he asked, dropping his fork and leaning in towards her from across the table. “I left because I had to!”

“Yeah, Colt I know. I understand that just fine. I understood that when the cops came looking for me to get information on you and your father. I understood that when everyone else left too. But, you see the difference with them is that they had enough common sense to get in contact with me. They had enough common sense to let me know that they were okay. They had enough common sense to let me know that they were still alive!” she said angrily, finally letting all of her hurt and anger out. 

“I’m sorry, Mellie,” Colt whispered, his voice just as pained as hers. “I couldn’t risk it.”

“Sorry isn’t good enough!”

“Mia, please. He didn’t stay away because he wanted to. You should have seen how much it hurt him not to-” Ellie began to say.

She stopped though when she noticed the murderous look on Mia’s face. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You kept in contact with her?” she gasped out, the guilty look on Colt’s face answering her question. “Go to hell, Colt!” 

“Are you really jealous right now?” he asked, his voice almost amused. 

This only served to make her even more angry. She was angry that he could even find it in himself to think of any of this as funny when she felt like she was falling apart. 

“Yes! I am! You were always the only constant that I had in my life. You were the only person I ever fully trusted, the only person I ever felt safe with. You were the only person I had left after that fire, and you up and left in the middle of the night with no warning. You didn’t even say goodbye. Do you know how much that broke me? Do you know how much sleep I lost wondering if you were okay or if you were in jail or if you were lying dead in some back alley? Do you know how long I waited to hear back from you? How long your mother did? And trust me I know how ridiculously co dependent this all sounds, but it’s still the truth. But, instead of getting in contact with the only two people who would have done anything to hear from you, you reached out to some girl that you knew for four months. Of course I’m jealous! I thought I meant more to you than that!”

She pushed herself out of her chair and stormed out of the ballroom. She could hear footsteps running behind her, but she kept going until someone’s strong grasp on her shoulder stopped her from moving any further. 

“Mia, I’m sorry, okay? I get it. I shouldn’t have handled things the way that I did, but I’m here now,” Colt said. 

“No, you shouldn’t have,” she said, her voice cracking as tears streamed freely down her face. 

Mia broke down completely and collapsed into his arms, crying uncontrollably into his chest and gripping him like her life depended on it. 

“I’m sorry, Mellie. I’m so sorry,” he mumbled into her hair as he gripped onto her just as tightly. 

Mia wasn’t sure how long the two of them stayed that way before she pulled away and wiped her face. 

“I’m still so pissed at you,” she confessed, looking everywhere but at his face. “But, I won’t have you thrown in the dungeons. Yet.”

Colt laughed nervously.

“Thanks. Your, uh, husband seems nice,” he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“He’s great,” she said with a small smile. “He’s wonderful, and I’m so lucky to be with him.”

“Did you, uh, tell him anything about me? About the crew?” he asked.

“No. The only person that knows anything about that stuff is Drake,” she admitted, feeling a bit guilty.

“Well, you’re going to have to tell him now. You kind of made a scene in there,” Colt teased, causing her to roll her eyes.

There was something so normal about Colt teasing her, something that felt so familiar and happy. But, there was also a part of her that still wasn’t okay with it yet. 

“Don’t do that,” she said tiredly in reference to his joke. “I can’t do that with you yet. I can’t joke around like that when I’m still not completely okay with all of this.”

Colt stopped smirking and nodded his head awkwardly, looking to her for an indication of what they should do now. 

“I’m going to go to the bathroom. I’ll see you back in there. We still have to get through the wedding toasts and the first dance before this is all over,” she said. “By the way, you’re probably going to have to make a toast. Try not to say anything that’ll make me mad at you again.”

With that Mia turned and went to the restroom, pressing her back against the closed door and taking a minute to catch her breath. After a few moments, she pushed herself off of the wall and looked at her reflection in the mirror, cringing when she noticed how puffy her eyes looked. She pulled her phone out of her bra and shot a quick text to Ximena asking her to meet her so that she could help fix her makeup, and then grabbed one of the spare hand towels from the bathroom cabinet. She ran it under some cold water, removed her glasses, which she refused to get rid of no matter how much Maxwell encouraged her to get contact lenses instead, and placed the cloth over her eyes. It was a trick she learned years ago to help reduce the swelling, and one that she had used countless times when she wanted to make it look like she hadn’t just had a breakdown before returning to her regular activities. 

“Everything okay in here?” Ximena asked, opening the bathroom door and pushing her way in. 

“Yes. No. Kind of,” Mia said, moving the rag away from her eyes as the other woman approached and began shuffling through a makeup bag. 

“What did he say?” 

“He apologized. He didn’t give any kind of explanation or tell me where he was or what he was doing, but he apologized, and I know how much of a big deal doing that probably was for him,” Mia said as Ximena set to work on her face. “I’m still upset, but it’s tiring being so mad, and I would actually like to enjoy the rest of my wedding.”

“Your new friends all have a lot of questions,” Ximena informed her. “They kind of fixated on the words ‘fire’, ‘police’, ‘jail’ and ‘dead’. Logan did his best to fend them off, but you’re going to have to tell them something.”

“I know. I’ll talk to everyone tomorrow. But, now I’m going to go back out there and slow dance with my handsome husband,” she said, linking her arm through her friend’s and leading her back to the ballroom.

Mia took her seat beside Liam and leaned over, giving him a sweet kiss on the lips, grabbing his hand where it rested on the table.

“I love you, and I’m sorry for losing it,” she whispered in his ear. 

“I’m sorry for changing the seating arrangements,” he murmured back, resting his forehead against hers. 

“Don’t be,” she said with a soft smile, “I know you meant well.”

The couple turned back to their friends just in time to see Leo standing and raising his glass for a toast.  

“So, as everyone knows, I’m the brother of the groom and the family disappointment,” Leo began, causing chuckles to erupt all over the room. “Even growing up I knew that Liam would make a better king than I ever would. He’s kind, compassionate, and there’s nothing he loves more than Cordonia and her people. Or, at least that’s what I always thought. From the moment I met Amelia Bhatt I knew that there was finally something he loved more than this country. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look happier than when he’s with her, and if there’s anyone in this world that deserves to be happy, it’s Liam. So, here’s to the new couple. I wish the two of you a lifetime of happiness.”

There was a light applause from all of the wedding guests, and Mia and Liam both stood to give Leo a hug. 

“Take care of him,” he whispered in her ear right before they moved away from each other. “He needs someone to put him first because lord knows he doesn’t do it for himself,”

“Don’t worry. I will,” she said, squeezing Liam’s hand as the two took their seats once again. 

The room filled with silence as they waited for someone else to begin speaking, and Mia kicked Colt’s leg under the table. He jumped at the intrusion and glared at her as she motioned for him to stand up. He did so grudgingly, glancing around the room with a nervous look on his face before clearing his throat and beginning to speak. 

“So, um, I’ve known Mia my whole life. She is one of the kindest, smartest, and toughest people that I know. I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t always been the best friend to her. But, even when I mess up she’s always there to help me set things straight because that’s just the kind of person she is. When she loves someone or something she does it with her whole heart. She looks past the bad or negative, and she tries to see the best in everyone and everything. That’s one of the greatest things about her, and I can tell that that’s exactly how she feels about Liam and about Cordonia. Not that Liam or Cordonia is bad!” he said frantically when he realized what his words implied. 

Mia facepalmed as he continued floundering for a way to correct himself. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Colt was never really good with words.

“I just mean that when it comes down to it, she’s willing to fight through difficult times if it means doing the right thing for the people and things that she cares about. What I’m trying to say is that it doesn’t take a genius to see that Mia loves Liam, and I have no doubt in my mind that she’ll make an amazing wife and queen,” he concluded, nodding to the room awkwardly before dropping back down to his seat and chugging all of his champagne. 

Mia bit back a laugh at his discomfort and reached across the table to squeeze his hand. 

“Thank you for saying that,” she whispered kindly, causing him to smirk at her.

“So, did I succeed in not pissing you off any more than I already have?” he asked.

“You almost ruined it, but you fixed it in the end there,” she said, removing her hand from his and letting Liam shake his hand. 

The rest of their friends took turns giving a short speech about the two of them, and by the end of it all, Mia and Liam were both holding back tears of happiness as they cuddled into each other. Even Regina, who Mia was sure hated her, had nothing but kind words to say. Soon after the toasts were over, the orchestra began to play and people slowly began to make their way onto the dancefloor. 

“Dance with me,” Liam muttered in her ear, pulling her out onto the dancefloor where he began leading her into a waltz.

Mia matched all of his steps and everyone’s eyes were on the newlyweds as they continued to glide across the room effortlessly. Liam spun her out a side door in the ballroom and onto a private balcony, causing Mia to laugh softly as she remembered how he had done the same thing the first night of the social season. 

“Those were some smooth moves, Your Majesty,” she said, pressing her lips to his. 

Liam kissed her back softly, and the two of them melted into each other’s embrace. They pulled away from each other after a few moments. However, Liam didn’t release his hold on her. Mia rested her head against his chest and began fidgeting with his bowtie. 

“I’m sorry that today was such a mess,” she said softly. “I invited Colt because as hurt as I was, such a big part of me still wanted him here. I just didn’t anticipate all of the negative feelings that would come along with him actually showing up.”

“What happened, love?” Liam asked, pulling away so he could look down at her but keeping his hands on her hips. “You’ve never told me much about your past, about your life in LA, and I wanted to respect your space, but I need you to talk to me.”

“I wanted to tell you, Li. I really did, and I still do. I was just so scared of what it would bring up. It’s not a time of my life I like to think back on, and to be honest, I was worried you would judge me for it,” she admitted nervously. 

“Mia, I love you with everything in me. There’s nothing you could say to change that,” he said, looking down at her with a tender gaze. 

“You do deserve to know, but not tonight. It’s our wedding night, and I want to focus on us. I’ve already spent enough of this day worrying about Colt and forcing you to worry about him too. Tomorrow we’ll have everyone meet us in Valtoria, and we can talk about it then. Okay?” she asked, smiling at him hopefully.

She felt terrible that their entire day had been spent focusing on Colt, instead of the two of them actually enjoying the fact that they were finally married. 

“Okay,” Liam said swooping down to pull her into another quick kiss before guiding her back into the ballroom. 

Liam pulled her onto the dancefloor, and the two of them spent the rest of their reception swaying in each other’s arms

[chinawof]

Baby C. Hemsworth | Self-Para

Wyoming was exactly what they both needed it to be: calm. 

A break and a moment away from the chaos of Miley, and China’s family fawning over everything. Just them, their pups, and their growing Bean. 

At first, Chi had gotten quite used to the idea of maybe just having the baby here in Wyoming. It had always felt like home to them both, and there were hospitals nearby, and some arrangements had been made for that to happen. But with Bean taking her time to arrive, Chi also had talks of inducing the labour to help Bean on her way. As strong and as stubborn as she was; she was terrified of that idea.

A few days before Halloween she had decided. With pleading eyes and a calm exterior explaining to Liam that they should head home for it to happen. At least there her family could support all of them (in case something went wrong), and their Bean had her own room awaiting her, and a million things they hadn’t managed to bring in their haste of leaving Atlanta. Soft reassurances that she’d be fine on the drive, and probably nap most of the way anyway.

China kept up with her bedrest while Liam began repacking things away, setting about for them to leave the next day.

It was just their luck that overnight the snow had come.

Several inches of it covering the ground around the Wyoming house, making it so impossible and unsafe to drive in, let alone get home in.

Delta was thrilled to say the least. Chi spent some time each day on the balcony watching the pup run and play in the mountain of snow Liam had shovelled from the back door so the pups could still go to the bathroom outside. Dora, however, seemed over the cold and the snow pretty quickly.

China didn’t blame the pup, because she was over it the moment she saw it.

No matter how damn prepared she thought she was as October finally arrived, all those feelings were long gone now. There was only nerves and fear. She, despite all her earlier wishes, started to almost pray that Bean would hold off for the snow to clear and for them to get home.

No such luck.

The 30th of October came with back aches more persistent than ever before, China finding herself actually having to be excused from dinner (which was a shock, because she could eat for a whole family right now) to retire upstairs for a nap.

China wished she had managed to rest more, looking back now on what would soon unfold, the extra sleep would have helped, but she’s awoken every twenty minutes by pains and cramping like nothing she had ever felt before.

That was when she realised just what situation she was in.

It was dark out and she could hear Liam outside with Delta barking as she played in the snow, a part of her not wanting to disturb their moment.

There’s a heavy weight against her side. Dora must have nestled close while she had restlessly slept, and big eyes were looking at her very concerned.

“Hey girl,” Chi sat up softly, letting a hand find Dora’s head, “We’re okay, I promise.” There’s a tender kiss to the top of the large dogs head before she’s reaching a hand out to clasp at her phone.

A moment to look at some missed calls and texts before she’s messaging Sisi something nice and simple, ‘So, I think your niece might be on her way.’

And though she expected at least a pause, maybe half an hour or something, there’s the almost instantaneous blank text box with three dots of typing back.

‘OMG.’

Of course she doesn’t have time to reply. Her phone begins ringing a second later.

‘Hi Sisi,’ there’s a breathy laugh in spite of the fact she is half sitting up in the bed in pain with a worried pup not leaving her side.

‘How’re you feeling? Breathe, remember to breathe, do you need anything?’ The onslaught of questions comes with very little air from Sierra.

‘Sisi,’ Chi sighs down the phone, ‘I’m fine.’ Well, she would be anyway. 

‘Where’s Liam?’ Sierra is quick to ask now, and is moving around, China’s sure she is slipping on slippers and a robe to go and wake up or disturb the entire household. 

‘Playing with Delta,’ There’s a soft moment, a calmness.

Of course it’s interrupted, ‘At a time like this?!’

China is laughing again, ‘Sierra, he doesn’t know, okay? I’m not even sure I know yet. There’s just some pains, and Dora’s really worried.’

‘She’s a smart dog...’

‘She is,’ Chi confirms, another pet to the pups head. She moves now to stand from the bed herself, feet into her own slippers, looking toward the window where the balcony outside lay. So much snow surrounding them. 

Dora is hot on her heels, not leaving her side.

‘But you need to tell Liam,’ Sierra interrupts. 

Chi’s gaze is caught by watching him in the snow throwing a stick around for Delta, who seems to leap and almost disappear into the thickness of the snow beneath her.

‘I will-’ her voice grows tight with the pain of a contraction that has her moving to hold onto the handles of the balcony door to keep her balance. Breath stuck in the back of her throat momentarily, she’s only vaguely aware of Dora nestling closer to her in worry, or Sierra calling her name a few times before telling her to breathe and relax.

It’s all like a haze, because as much as she tries to remain aware of it, the pain is definitely blinding, and she realises now why telling her to breathe is important: she damn well forgets to. Takes a ragged breath in to right herself.

The pain ebbs away almost as fast as it comes, but as it leaves something new seems to happen: there’s a growing wetness, and she’s suddenly so aware this is definitely happening now.

‘Uh, my waters broke...’ China says, a little stunned to Sierra.

‘Okay,’ there’s a laugh in Sierra’s tone, China glares at it for a second, ‘You’re fine, want me to get someone to call Liam?’

‘Uh-’ Standing there awkwardly, she doesn’t make much movement still pretty shocked at that second in time. Even if she expected it to happen, it still was a surprise, ‘I guess,’ she answers, but her attention is torn by a different, yet familiar bark.

Chi doesn’t know at what point she had become so side tracked with pain and breaking waters that she realised Dora had bolted from the room. And it’s only a second later before familiar steps of Liam and two pups begin rushing up the stairs.

‘Chi?’ she hears called, breathes a sigh of relief as she moves her phone to her ear.

‘He’s here. I’ll call you back, I just... I guess I need a moment.’

She hangs up halfway through the, ‘if you need me you know-’ phone cast aside on the window ledge before brown orbs find panicked blues entering the room.

His own widen at the sight of the patch on the floor. And she wants to laugh, but there’s another pain that takes all of her attention. 

At least now, instead of door handles and window ledges, she’s got him to keep her nice and steady. 

‘Breathe,’ he whispers into her hair, pressing a kiss to her head as his hand massages her lower back, ‘you’re doing okay.’

Chi would have been annoyed, but it’s actually reassuring for a moment to have the calming voice, and though she knows he’s panicked and worried (because she is too), his calmness is definitely soothing.

‘So good, you’re doing so good.’ Chi lets herself focus on the movement of his hand on her back, and his breathing. He must be consciously taking slow and deep breaths for her to follow, and it helps. 

Soon she’s standing more firm, the pain slipping away to a dull ache once again.

‘Some timing she’s got,’ Chi laughs ever so slightly, her hands taut around her hardened stomach, weight still fully leaning into Liam. 

There’s something different on his face. A realisation of sorts. The flicker of panic in his eyes makes her heart beat just a fraction quicker. Her hand comes to cup his cheek, pull worried blues to hazy browns.

‘Hey, we’re gonna be okay,’ Chi soothes.

But she hasn’t realised what he has. There’s so much happening around her and with her that the fact outside is hazardous hasn’t occurred to her.

‘I know,’ Liam must snap himself out of it to press a kiss to her lips in comfort, China oblivious to a decision he’s already made in his head. ‘C’mon, let’s get you back to bed.’ 

She quirks an eyebrow, let’s a smirk tease her face, ‘I don’t think now’s the time for that, handsome,’ but his half-attempt to smile back makes her realise a lot of things all at once.

Like she’s just been dunked entirely in the several inches of snow beyond, Chi soon knows they’re stuck.

She knows Liam must have seen the realisation that dawns on her features, because his hand takes her own, and he’s leading her without much questioning, ‘You’re going to be fine,’ he starts.

China can’t help but suddenly wish to turn back time and be worrying about an induction instead of the prospect of this. What if something went wrong? What would happen?

‘Let’s get you settled, and then I’m gonna call an ambulance who should be here nice and quick.’ 

It’s delusional. They both slightly know it, but it’s a hope they have to cling onto.

Chi appreciates him taking a towel from a nearby corner, discarded from one of their showers, sets it out on the sheet before he’s moving to help her sit. She’s relatively glad for a moment that her maternity clothes are a size or two too big, because soon enough she’s wearing nothing but a baggy shirt that still nestles nicely around her bump, and he’s helping her lay down and covers her back over with the blanket.

‘There,’ Liam presses a kiss to her forehead, his own hand lingering on the swell of the blanket that covers the curve of her stomach, ‘Give me two minutes okay, I’m just going to grab my phone.’

Of course she isn’t alone, because even though the pups make no effort to clamber onto the bed now, as if they know they shouldn’t be on there at a time like this, they do settle to sit like the good guard dogs they are, eyes trained on China. 

That is until Delta spots a distant toy she hidden beneath a chair and makes her way to fetch that and nervously chew on it, anyway. But Dora is almost unblinking. 

It’s unnerving, but China doesn’t dwell on it.

‘Hey,’ Her hand reaches out and she can’t help but smile at the movement of the pup moving closer to rest her head beneath her hand so she can stroke her easier, ‘Good job, Dora, thanks for getting us some help. You’re too smart.’ 

There’s a moment where she’s sighing, looking at the ceiling almost wondering why it had to be today of all days, she hasn’t even processed what day it is, but it was inconvenient nonetheless. 

China tries not to eavesdrop, but the house is so still aside from Delta’s chewing of her toy that she can hear his whispered, frustrated words into the phone, ‘What do you mean it could take days to clear?! We don’t have days!’ 

She’s torn between crying and chastising the little Bean who clearly had terrible timing, but is cut off with another pain, and another whirl of the room becoming more of a haze than something completely tangible. Fists tighten into the blanket as a slight pained groan leaves her lips.

Standing was better, but standing wasn’t much of a choice right now.

When she finds the pain dissipating, her eyes focus fully to see a pup’s head rested right beside her on the bed. Concerned eyes watching, but unknowing what to do.

Catching her breath China quietly strokes her fur. The sound of Liam talking is gone. She assumes he’s either taken the call further away, or he’s hung up out of frustration.

Chi wouldn’t blame him for the latter. What a shitty situation to be in.

She focuses on the feeling of petting Dora’s head, and breathing as calmly as she can. Eventually steps climb back up the stairs, Chi realises Liam’s brought some things with him this time. Water, towels, some other baby things they’d packed.

‘How’re you doing?’ He asks, and she nods ever so gently.

‘You know, I’m great, it’s just a walk in the park,’ she sarcastically jokes. Waits for his chuckle to maybe lift her mood somewhat. When it doesn’t come, she has to sigh softly. ‘Hey,’ China reaches her hand out, waits a moment for him to lock his hand in her’s and settle on the edge of the bed beside her, ‘it’s okay.’ 

She knows they don’t do secrets. This whole relationship has been built on honesty, and they’ve battled so much together already that it doesn’t surprise her when he eventually sighs, too.

‘They’re... the snow... it’s going to be difficult.’ 

China squeezes his hand as if that will make the words leave his lips easier. ‘I get it. It’s not safe,’ a small, mustered smile for both of their sakes before she adds, ‘but babies take their time, too. We could still be like this in a couple of days when the snow does start clearing.’

He hopes. She hopes.

Bean Hemsworth? Well she’s got her own plans entirely.

The pains grow in their intensity and the time between them lessens. Between them Liam sets about doing something because China understands he’s nervous and feeling a little useless right now. 

A towel to cover the patch on the floor her waters left; so the pups, him, or her don’t slip. Bringing up as much water and ice as China can stomach eating. Hell, by the time he’s finished fussing, the baby even has an outfit set out for her on a nearby chair for when she finally arrives. 

It’s all pretty sweet, actually.

If China had much time to focus on anything but the pain she was in.

She did notice, as the night passed by and he busied around, that Liam would just glance to check through the balcony door, or through the window, to see if maybe magic had made all of the snow dissipate, but there was no such luck like that.

The sun rose, and instead of bringing the melting warmth they needed, the sky was as white as ever. More snow flurried and fluttered from the sky to add to the inches of it already on the ground.

They were getting nowhere fast. And it seemed unlikely that anyone would get near them, too.

Around noon it seemed almost impossible for China to fight it off any more. The contractions were so close it was uncomfortable, and there couldn’t be much time left before Bean wanted to show up.

She prayed it didn’t happen like this. That poor Liam could’ve been at her bedside instead of wide eyed and startled at the end of the bed, looking at her in a position she’d rather never think much about again.

‘I can see her,’ he tells her, and China swears he looks nauseous, but maybe it’s just the haze of the room around her.

‘She’s not-’ Chi pants ever so breathless as she lays there.

She feels a grounding set of hands on her knees, blue eyes looking deeply at her.

‘She’s coming now, whether we want her to or not, with or without a hospital. We work to her time right now.’ A moment passes, before China nods reluctantly, because he’s right, and the pain is building again, ‘now push when you’re ready to.’

There’s barely a beat before she does.

And God, the cry of pain is enough to have poor Dora and Delta putting their paws over their ears. Neither pup looks up as Liam counts down from ten. Nor when the scream of pain finally stops. 

It’s not until there’s a sound.

A relieved gasp from him. 

A deep exhale of exertion from her. 

And a cry, so soft and small.

‘She’s-’ Chi glances from where she has collapsed against the pillows now.

‘-Perfect,’ Liam finishes, the squirming little one in his arms. She’s a mess of gunk and nastiness, sure. Face red and screwed up in her crying state. But there’s just a beauty about her. A blend of them both. So much hair like her mama, lips all a part of him. 

Theirs.

‘Here you go, mama,’ he forces himself to move now, because as much as he wants to coo over his daughter, there are many other things to see to, and he knows he has a lifetime to fuss over that baby girl now. 

China’s thankful, at least, that Liam read so many of those pregnancy books, because it helps now. As the baby is passed to her to lay on her chest, covered with a blanket while Liam cleans up and takes care of other things around the place.

She’s so busy looking at the little one, letting a finger trace over soft features of the now calm and sleeping baby, that she doesn’t notice him cutting the cord, or coaching her through the afterbirth.

Maybe it’s exhaustion. Or just the feeling of bliss.

But everything comes together at last, when a blanket is tucked over her again, keeping her and the baby warm, and Liam moves behind her to hold them both. Two curious faces at the side of the bed, watching, analysing.

They’d need to move eventually. Clean up, shower, change the sheets, get the baby into something warmer to fight the snowy chill of Wyoming.

But they just take their moment. It’s their perfect family, finally all together.

‘Happy Halloween, Bean.’ Liam coos, and that’s when China realises what day it actually is.

Of course. Should she have expected anything else?

‘Best Halloween ever,’ Chi glances back at Liam, a smile, tired and blissful on her face.

He kisses her softly, and let’s his own hand move to stroke the baby’s head gently now, ‘You’re right, best Halloween ever.’

[loveyoulou]

So, apparently, reading a certain harrie’s in depth essay sparked something in me and I could not just let it go without a fight. oops! If you want to get subjected to that...

As a Louie, I hope Louis does not get to read what I just read because it is straight up fucked. Yeah. Like have you considered the fact that these are actual people that you are talking about (that know each other and are friends) and not just some random product that needs to be compared and reviewed? Are they really reduced to that by their own species now? Honestly, who would want to be subjected to that kind of judgemental and inconsiderate thinking?

Pulling up stats and timeline,  as much as people find that important to make a relevant opinion on what they want to prove is pushing it a little bit too much. Yup, its all for the sake of research and credibility, I know... you take this very seriously, you've proven your point, and then what? You now have the proof that Louis is far more inferior than Harry? Hmmm...

What did he do to you? Has Louis offended you in any way personally? What did he do sooo offending that you seem to need to put him down like that? And quite passionately too.

Before I continue, I just want to thank Louis for releasing music even though he subjected himself to different kinds of garbage that people have been writing about him. Let us not forget that even though he is used to the prying eyes of the public, he is still a person. A person who has the right to grow into themselves in their own time, why are people being too judgemental about him?

He is where he is because he was given the opportunity and was brave enough to grab those that he actually wants. It’s not called wasted opportunities, its called a choice. That’s how life is. On top of that, over and over again he keeps on thanking his fans for giving him the chance to have the opportunity to do what he wants to do. It’s sweet right? Being acknowledged and constantly reminded of the fact that Louis checks up on his fan base? 

And boy, why did they (the harrie) make it seem like Louis is not working his ass off - he did when he was in the band and was overworked. He’s still doing it now, do you think releasing an album does not take a lot of hard work? Do you think looking for his own sound is not hard work? Hmmm...

Louis can easily find a different career if he wanted to. He could've just hid himself away from the public like Zayn because tell you what - it’s good for Zayn to not engage with the clownery that is media. Good for him, really, that he knows he does not want to engage or subject himself to all the industry related drama. His life is probably a bit more peaceful now that he is minding his own business. That is because that's what Zayn wants. But look! Even though he's tucked away from prying eyes people still has a way to throw something at him. Sigh.

Louis on the other hand, second guessed himself from starting a solo career. He even mentioned that he wanted to work on behind the spotlight and concentrate on songwriting... But then, he said he wanted to live with no regrets and wonder what could have happened if he actually pursued a solo career. As fans, we respect that and more than appreciate the fact that we can enjoy him and his music.

Saying things that he does not have pull - by pull, meaning he does not have enough clout (as what I have read from the harrie post) - meaning, he knows what direction he wants to take, and has values that might not be as  “controversial” or sex driven which attracts a lot of audience, is that it? A lot of artists that are famous nowadays are highly sexualized both in their songs and image. And I doubt that is what Louis wanted to be portrayed as or even be remembered as. He is more than that, very much.

I do not think Louis is the kind of person who will play the victim here, he has a very strong character and is very independent. He might have confidence issues that he needs to overcome and I will be crying the day he fully has it back.

The guy went through a lot - and he still pushes back at life. How many people would actually have the courage and energy to do that after all the hurdles he’s been through?

Having Louis on the XF delayed the album, but on the brighter side, he said so himself that he wanted the experience. And he’s good at it. As I saw it, he enjoyed the experience, with the extra middle finger to every anti when he and Dalton won. I may come off as naive but, people cant just see things as a one sided affair, its not like he did not get paid, okay? If money is all it is that he wants then, yes. He got paid, he was richer. Isn’t that what people think as the bottom line? Sigh.

It’s not like he was not able to at least share who he really is as a person - an individual that is far from the brand that was given to him when he was in the band. YES, because who would want to be branded as a drug addict, cheater, smoke all you like, negligent father? Of course he wanted to have a bit of his dignity restored, to show that he's not what always the media portrays he is.

His music was pushed back and its very unfortunate, but from what I saw is that it's a conscious decision to be involved in a show - he can decline if he wanted to. If he wanted to change his career after xf he can, but he went back to making music even though he is aware that his own music timeline was eternally botched up (a million times over) - but he still did it anyway even though he knew that it would be a struggle to compete within the music industry. Only to what? To have his music be attacked and saying that his decision to make his music more honest is contrived - my goodness with people’s double standards.

Louis is not Harry - he is his own person. Harry seems to take his career as a job that needs to be done. It seems that for Harry his career is just that, a job that is why does whatever people tells him to do to stay relevant. Sing and he sings, act and he acts, pose nude and he takes off his clothes. He consented to that - he likes that. That’s how he is and people eat that shit up - his team knows what it is that makes a someone popular and so he does it. Maybe he enjoys it, maybe not, we don't know. What we know is that he does it, and again, people eat that shit up. That’s just how it is.

We should also be thankful that Niall and Liam for giving us new music, and be more considerate of Liam’s debut album (in case you did not personally like it). Liam also did not have the luxury to grow his music in the background just like Louis and the other boys so, why do we have to singlehandedly criticize them on that? We are very forgiving of other musicians, why do we overly criticize the boys for theirs? URGH. ALL of them worked their assess off, so please stop attacking them like we all know better.

The music industry is grueling what the hell, lets not add to the negativity.

So yeah, this got out of hand. DAMN. If you got this far, thank you for reading. Sorry for this long ass rant, it just happened. Imma go and stream the fuck out of Louis songs because I love him and his music gives me positive outlook in life.

[afictionaladventure16]

Side Effects May Include (Tony Stark x Daughter)

Part 10

Side Effects May Include (Masterlist)

Warnings: foul language, mention and descriptions of rape

Word Count: 1,635

I had been working on the prototype of my suit that I wanted to show my dad, something to get my mind off things. Although I may never wear the suit one day I still liked to wear on it, maybe it could work for someone else. I never know. “Ms. Stark there is a Ms. Smith is in the main hall waiting for you,” I heard Friday say.

“Thank you, Friday,” I quickly got off my desk chair and walked over to the main hall to see Nat and Bucky talking to Jasmine, I assumed they were done with their training for the day, “there she is!” Nat exclaimed as she spotted me, “we were just going to get one of Steve’s famous smoothies when I saw Jasmine here, thought I’d introduce her to the newest member to the Avenger family.”

Bucky smiled at the both of us, “Well, it was nice meeting you, Mr. Barnes,” Jasmine said politely, she turned to me, “I believe these are for you.”

I plastered a smile on my face, “thank you so much for bringing these.”

“It’s no problem, it’s what friends are for, right?”

I nod, “anyway, want to come to my room so I can give you that thumb drive for your art class?” She looked at me confused, “don’t tell me you forgot,” I exclaimed, I laughed and looked over at Bucky and Nat, “She can be such a blonde sometimes.” Playfully rolling my eyes, I grabbed Jasmine’s arm, “come on, Jasmine.”

“Well, we’ll see you, girls, later!” Nat said as they walked away.

Jasmine chuckled slightly as she followed me down the hallway, we entered the elevator, “What the hell was that about?” I held my finger up to my mouth, indicating for her to stay silent. Once we had gotten to my floor, I led her to my room. Closing the door behind her. “Well?” I still didn’t say anything, I calmly went over to my desktop.

I began typing in a code into the system, “Ms. Stark?” I heard Friday’s voice slowly drag out and with that, I had locked Friday out of my room.

“What the hell, Liv?” Jasmine said as I got off my desk chair.

“We’ve got fifteen minutes until my dad realizes what’s happened to Friday. Now, I want to know, was there anything said about me during school?”

She shrugged, “nothing,” but she didn’t look me in the eye, in fact, she avoided any eye contact with me since I’ve seen her.

“Bullshit, Jas,” I whispered.

She sighed, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“I think that damage was done long ago by someone else,” I said softly.

“He’s just been saying shit,” she muttered, “it’s no big deal.”

“Well, it sure as hell looks like it because you won’t make eye contact with me you only do that when you’re avoiding something.”

She groaned, “I hate that you know me so well!” She huffed, “fine! Bren is saying you ditched school because you’re ashamed of being a whore, you’re ashamed of your secret whore life is now out in the open!”

“Out in the open? What does he mean by that?” I looked at her confused.

“There may be footage of you, looking plastered, going around on Facebook…”

“May?”

“Okay, there is,” she sighed.

“Anything else?” I asked as I crossed my arms, all I wanted to do was go on Facebook and look for that footage, maybe I can hack into whoever’s account it is and take it down.

“Liam is worried about you.”

“If he was really worried, he’d text me.”

“Are you saying that he doesn’t have the right to worry?”

“I’m saying that, if he really did give a damn, I would have received some sort of message from through either text, snapchat, hell Instagram messages!”

She took in a deep breath, “have you told anyone else about the situation?” She was changing the subject, probably because she didn’t fully agree with me.

“No,” I sighed, “not even Liam so who knows what he’s thinking right now.”

“That’s probably why he hasn’t messaged you,” she defended.

“Yeah, well, if he was so worried, he’d still would have contacted me asking what was up.”

She shook her head, “are you going to tell anyone? Liam? Peter?”

“No. I’m not going to either, why should I?”

“Moral support? A healthy way of coping with this trauma, hell, justice!”

“Justice?” I scoffed, “are you hearing yourself right now? You sound like a seven-year-old who’s seen a Batman movie and is all about justice now.”

“Look, I’m not the one having nightmares to the point that I can’t sleep, having to miss out on school!”

“Who told you that?”

“Nat,” she whispered, “I know damn well, those nightmares aren’t about your mother… It’s getting to your head, Liv! Your mental health! You need to tell your family so you can seek help! I’m just trying to be a good friend here.”

“I don’t need help!” I exclaimed, “I’m perfectly fine on my own.” I wasn’t. but how can I tell my dad that I had been raped? It’ll break him. Everything he’s done to protect me… He’ll blame himself.

“Yes, you do! You need some damn help!”

“Just stop!” I took a deep breath, “you don’t know what I’ve been through, Jasmine, I don’t even remember what happened that night. I just remember waking up in an empty bed, an empty bed that belonged to a stranger and I was in fucking pain! Do you know how scary that was? To see yourself bleeding down there for no reason? For it to hurt to fucking move!?”

She sighed, looking towards the ground, “did you ever think that maybe you actually enjoyed it?”

“What?” I asked in disbelief, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, was she really asking me this question? After what I had just partially described what I had gone through to her?

“I’m just saying, have you ever thought of it?”

“How could you ask me that!?”

“Maybe because there’s a video going around of you looking completely wasted!”

“I only had one drink that night and it sure as hell wasn’t alcoholic.”

“Not from the looks of it,” she whispered.

“What are you trying to say, Jasmine? That I’m lying about the whole thing?” She stood quiet, I watched as she leaned from one leg to the other, slowly raising to look at me.

“I’m trying to say that maybe you wanted it? I mean you said it yourself, Liv, you don’t recall what happened that night.”

I scoffed, “But I do know for damn sure I didn’t want any of it.”

“How can you be so sure if you don’t remember?” She let out a deep breath as she got her phone out, “I mean these videos are kind of convincing that you were asking for it,” she said as she showed me a video of me sitting down, I clearly looked out of the influence, but I’ve seen drunk. That wasn’t it.

I shook my head, “I wasn’t drunk, jasmine!”

“Come on, Liv, no one will blame you if you were.”

“What the hell, Jasmine! You’re my friend! You’re supposed to side with me! Support me!”

“Well, how can I when you’re playing all Ms. Independent over here! It’s making me think that maybe Bren is telling the truth! He told me himself you know? I defended you but now I’m not so sure.”

“I’m just trying to protect myself!”

“From what? Me? Do you think I’m going to stab you in the back?!”

“Well, you kind of just did,” I stated, I then shook my head, “no, you did, Jasmine. You did just stab my back.”

Jasmine looked at me, I clearly hurt her with my words, but she has no idea how much she has hurt me. “Fine then, once you’re done with this whole independence thing, let me know because I’m not going to stand around and watch you slowly drive yourself insane because you can’t remember what happened that night.” She grabbed her backpack from the bed

“Alright, and you let me know when you know whose friend you actually are, me or Bren’s.” She shook her head in disbelief and left my room.

I heard footsteps coming closer to my room, “Hey, kiddo! Mind if I come in?” My dad asked from the doorway. I had been facing the opposite direction, I quickly wiped away the tears threatening to fall, “sure,” I said softly.

“Seems Friday got locked out of your rooms system, want to tell me what happened there?” He asked as he made his way over to my desktop.

I walked over to him, giving him a small shrug, “I must’ve pressed something on accident.”

“Well, accidents happen,” he said with a smile, “but a good thing about accidents is that they can be fixed.” He typed a few buttons and Friday was back on. My dad looked over at me and frowned slightly, “hey, what’s wrong?”

I shook my head, “nothing.”

“We had a bonding moment today, don’t let that go away, now what’s wrong?”

I sighed and hugged my dad, “I love you, dad. You know, that right?”

He chuckled, “of course I do, sweetie,” he kissed the top of my head.

And for that minute, I felt safe. Even though, in my mind, it took everything in me to convince myself to hug my dad, because a man's embrace might not ever feel the same again even though he was my father. I didn’t want it to be that way but part of me just wanted to retreat and hide, but this was something I wasn’t going to let my mind take away. Something that I won’t let Bren destroy.

Whaaaa?? Two updates in a row?! I know, I’ve been getting some inspiration lately! Anyway, feedback, like always, is highly appreciated! 

QUESTION: What do you think about Jasmine now? How do you think Olivia’s return to school is going to play out? What would YOU like to see happen? Suggestions? Don’t be afraid to leave a reply and let me know what you think! Hell, a DM even! 

Side Effects May Include taglist is closed! Permanent taglist is open!  ! 

Taglists: @mountainsforwords @spiderlingsweb @emmii4 @henrietteoaks @happy-days-22 @abitofeverythinggg @oliolioxiclean  @littlephoenix-fire @just4muggles @purplekitten30 @chloesfanficreblogs @honeycvmbs @jakiki94 @trulysmoakin @yourwonderbelle @sarahps177 @griff1ndor @cr4zyimagines @mountainsforwords @myforeveryoungblog

[ziamhaze]

Why Zayn Malik is the walking embodiment of a Ravenclaw: a doctoral thesis

now if any of you know me you know that I would sell my soul for a quality written hp au, but one thing that’s been a constant for me when starting a fic is the question of whether or not the writer will categorize zayn as a ravenclaw or a slytherin (there’s no other option besides these two).  Well I’m here to hopefully end that century long debate and give it to you straight (not quick): zain javadd malik is UNQUESTIONABLY a ravenclaw.

brace yourselves. - also you should right click open links in new tabs for evidence/best experience-

ok, so like niall, I think a lot of people associate zayn with surface qualities and truth be told I don't blame them because unless you take the time to get to know who he is beyond the small talk in interviews and making sure liam didn't fall off the stage half the time, I can totally see why people put him in slytherin - stereo typically moody, mysterious, and loves to cause ruckus with louis.

HOWEVER, people need to look into the quietness and notice that he's not sitting there like a hufflepuff and taking what's being said as is, even though he does get talked over a lot, he's making sure that if he has something to say, it's because he's got everyone's opinions and a full picture of all arguments/facts before he's giving his witty two sense and that's even if he feels overly moved to express that ‘no, you're all wrong it's actually this’ or ‘well you've forgot about this pov’.  but make sure you know your place bc even if you directly talk to him about something he may not talk to you about it bc he's a reserved ravenclaw, not willing to openly talk like most social gryffindors or not so humble slytherins would.  It's rare that he's actually saying something to brag about himself or talk about himself because that's neither here nor there and most of the time he won't even speak up about the previously mentioned things bc as a true ravenclaw, he knows what’s right and he doesn't need to boast about it like a slytherin; he's confident enough in his own intelligence - sometimes misconstrued as ravenclaw arrogance!  but is it really? bc if you're right you're right. 

 let's also talk about his antics with louis (and the occasional harry - also see: VERY rare liam occurrences).  yes, using one's wit to their advantage is textbook slytherin, which is why zayn can share this trait, but also notice who's instigating the pranks (correct answer: louis) and how zayn would carry them out.  always calculated, always waiting to hear instructions fully instead of running full force ahead with it all bc 'you guys are fucking idiots if you think I'm going to do this and run the risk of getting caught - take the time to plan this shit out and make it worth while.  I'm not gonna half ass a prank, if they're gonna cry, they're gonna bawl.' 

how about his love for english?  a typical ravenclaw characteristic?  perhaps, but it's so important to see how he views the world through the wording and thoughts/philosophies of othersin order to influence his own being.  I’m dizzy on how much he speaks in interviews about how much he wants to go back to school and do a proper english degree, wanting to learn beyond the books he can buy on his own.  be careful though!  zayn will say what he thinks and believes no matter what!!!  so while he loves english and the words (such a shame he wasn’t allowed to speak more about urdu and his culture while in the band), and the books he reads, it's how he compartmentalizes that alongside his own beliefs and thoughts that makes his favouritism notable.  also slight note at how he values intelligence in others and seeks that out from there.  Need I use his quote on education: “one of the most important things you can have”.  I mean, that in itself should be enough for this post.

moving on to his confusing loyalty!  I've yet to see zayn categorized as a gryffindor or hufflepuff, but many overlook his soft nature and caring side - ziall anyone??  it's innate for him to be caring towards those he loves.  let's not forget that "zayn wears his heart on his sleeve" bc HE DOES!  as caring as a hufflepuff and as loyal as a gryffindor, but what sets him apart is his raging ability to cut off people or stop contact with them after a while because they've done him wrong (if they listened to him the first time or actually paid attention to what he said then they wouldn't be in this situation) and no, I'm not just referring to post 1D zayn mess.  and no, I do not agree with the statement that zayn can do no wrong - though as a ravenclaw he might disagree with you on that bc when he’s in his element he’s always right.  it's important to also note that sometimes he just needs a nudge, he hasn't forgotten about you, he's just bad at texting back - cue the on and off liam friendship post band break up.  It's clear when it comes to some old interviews that he cares about these people but let's not forget that he has a temper and can let that sometimes cloud his judgement.  now would be a good time to ask if anyone knows if he has a new manager yet after that fiasco.

can we back track a second on his need for personal space to think and caring nature because of it?  self proclaimed introvert, I think a lot of people misconstrue what they saw of him in the band as temperamental and stuck up, when in reality he was simply someone who enjoyed the banter with others until he needed to go away and rejuvenate by himself for a little bit (tbt toddler zayn who needed to play with his toys by himself for a while after being around too many people).  are there introverts in every house?  without a doubt, however they’re most commonly found in ravenclaw, specifically the core trait of needing to gather their barrings and recharge before going back to join in on the fun.  you see, unlike best mate slytherin louis, zayn mostly holds back his bitterness from the others, making sure that he doesn’t say anything that might hurt them too badly - something that I greatly attribute to him knowing when he needs to go away for a bit before getting annoyed.  those of you who know, know.  soft zayn hours are intense!  honing in on his own needs of space to establish a calm demeanor in order to give others the attention and care he thinks they AND THEIR THOUGHTS deserve (namely crinkly eyed leeyum).  you’ll know it when you see it: the chin hook hugs, back rubs, and closed mouth smiles scream ‘I appreciate you and am here in the moment’.  it’s here where he shares a lot of caring (even if he mistakes what’s going on as something he actually needs to be concerned about but better safe than sorry!), nurturing traits with hufflepuffs.  having this social awareness also allows for him to clock important info that others might think he’s overlooking by not speaking - a ravenclaw?  as if.

speaking of personal space, we got a glimpse into his house from TIU documentary, but his solo interviews have given us a chance to read (and if we’re lucky, see) how he transforms his houses into his own sanctuary.  now, each house can debate on their own about the purpose of their common room to instill an element of comfort and while no, zayn doesn’t publicly have a library or reading nook like a typical ravenclaw might have, I think a PERSONAL ART/GRAFFITI ROOM SUFFICES.  we’ll get to his art later, trust me.  there are other spaces documented too though: his pirate theme shed in the backyard, tepee, room made up of entirely collaged walls in his old LA house, and let’s not forget about how strongly he felt towards the old tour bus that he felt compelled to get a tattoo reminder (#zouis).  his need to make a sanctuary out of any space he inhabits for longer than a week confirms how important individual comfort is to him and again, how in touch with this he is (I see a good debate here on whether or not this could be a hufflepuff trait as well).  little boy from bradford who’s smashing it buying his Mum and family a house??  wants them to have that comfort too!!!  the “gift” was also probably one of his most humble moments ever documented, so let’s not forget he’s a lil humble ravenclaw

and what would a zayn ravenclaw analysis be without picasso!zayn?  ravenclaw's are not only intelligent - please note that I didn't use the word smart bc there IS a difference to them - but they're also creative, both in the conventional and unconventional sense.  Of course we know of zayn's killer high notes (ask if me if I'm over the high note in If I Got You. hint: I'm not) and drawing abilities (zayn, will you draw a picture of me?  no, I don't liek you) but it's the passion and WHAT IT IS that he's singing and drawing that matters.  yes, comics, album sticker packs, very bland 'A' for a certain band member - but note the enthusiasm and NEED to talk about ‘who Harry?  tell them WHO drew that A tattoo for you!’  ‘you, it was you zayn.’  SMUG AF SMILE and tell me what other topic zayn talks about with that much enthusiasm and outspokenness other than liam payne.  there are many instances however where someone (usually brother niall) needs to coax him out to actually display this individualistic personality and I’m not gonna hide the link in the underlines this time because it’s SO IMPORTANT to watch this video of him wanting to sing drake (note the complete opposite genre of their published music) but nervous on getting lost in himself bc ‘don’t start something if you don’t want me to finish it’ and Niall knows this.  liam knows this the most, but niall’s outward with it and literally has to softly start siNGING IN ORDER FOR ZAYN TO KNOW ‘YOU’RE NOT IN THIS ALONE AND OTHERS WILL APPRECIATE WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT TOO, LOOK LIAM WILL EVEN BEATBOX FOR YOU’. EXTREMELY CONFIDENT IN HIS ELEMENT.  don’t mistake that for 24/7 slytherin confidence. in fact, pause.  ravenclaw’s when in their element will have surging confidence and might boast to the level of slytherin’s but they’ll wait for the right moment to show you up and pay attention because when they do they can get very competitive. was him getting a tattoo first out of the band at age 16 something worth overlooking?  absolutely not!  by now I’ll personally hand deliver you an award if you can give me an accurate count of his ink, but hello???  is this artistry?  duh.  is this him saying what’s important to him in art form?  warmer.  are these passionate things he cares about but sometimes won’t find necessary to speak about out loud?  on fire!  another shameless you-must-look-at-this-post link HERE of me talking to him about his art in the midst of 5,000 screaming girls who all wanted to talk about his looks.  LOOK.  AT.  HIS.  APPRECIATION!  WHO HE IS AND OTHERS RECOGNIZING THAT BASED ON HOW HE PROJECTS HIMSELF IS SO IMPORTANT TO ZAYNIE.  Look, if zayn’s not authentic to himself or exuding individuality then even he would tell you that he’s failing himself.  we can see this also in his fashion choices (there have been a few questionable moments, but over all, ace outfits).  nowadays harry tends to get a lot more in your face fashion press, but do I need to pull out receipts on how many best dressed lists zayn has been on SOLELY because he thinks outside the box and doesn’t give a fuck?  listen to me when I say that ravenclaw’s will die without originality/individuality and the ability to take control of theirs

perfect segue to his exit of the band.  was it bc of mental health issues, I mean yeah, he’s written such, but were those spurred on bc he didn’t have his space to be an individual and do his own thing?  obviously.  and before anyone says anything about him taking control of his future being an ‘I don’t take bs and will stand up for it’ decision as a slytherin trait, let me remind you how long it took him to actually do it.  imo a slytherin would have stood up from the start if they were that unhappy about it.  again, he looked at things from all angles for a long enough time to be able to understand what was going on before doing something he’d regret. sadly if it did affect his mental health that much maybe he took a little too long in making the decision but ‘we do it all for the fans’ and while I appreciated that, I also appreciated him writing an entire song about wanting to take off clothes and the love of being pushed up against the wall soooooooooooo.  his songwriting skills: they're definitely getting there, but the amount of songs (TWENTY SEVEN) he felt he NEEDED to put on Icarus Falls because he didn't want to just let those stories NOT be told, it was IMPERATIVE that people hear those thoughts stuck in his head.  unfortunately his tongue got the best of him - as it does for most ravenclaws! - and his passion did not catch up with his patience, so now many won't even get my previous IIGY high note reference bc of the sales flop that was Z2 - something spurred on by him calling out the record label for not letting him release it.  can they be blamed though, because zayn, again, the ravenclaw poster boy, allegedly doesn't want to do promo for his music because to him it's not about the sales, instead, the music. should. speak. for. itself!  ‘if 10 people listen, cool. if 10 million people listen, also cool, but I'd rather 10 people ACTUALLY LISTEN and appreciate the art versus 10 million people listening bc I look good in an interview’ and if that doesn't say artistic ravenclaw passion, idk what does

[jlf23tumble]

What should I call this, episode 18? Live show 4? Anyway, it’s the results from last night, so lots of filler, no real thriller, and I’m thinking that I should probably combine live weekends going forward because it’s a lot, man, it’s a lotttt, and it’s all connected. Anyway, @newleafover, @justlarried, etc. etc., and I’m sweaty from all the hot tamales I ate earlier, so let’s just get to it, the high point on any Sunday night, my drunken random thoughts!

I wonder if Simon'll be on the coke tonight like he was last night because that was kinda fun.

Louis’s 1960s-era apres ski/British Olympic team AU realness has powered me through pretty much most of today (shout out to @thewindmakesnicewaves for making me really appreciate his hair; props to @2tiedships2.tumblr.com, for the gif):

For at least three years now, I’ve only had two thoughts when it comes to Little Mix, mainly, they should be WAY bigger in the US than they are, and who the fuck hates them so much that they dress them like this (I’m all for fashion, and I’m all for kitschy camp ugly fashion, but this feels like something Heidi would MURDER you for on Project Runway, I can literally hear her Germenglish chirp in my head, “sad”):

There’s a bunch of dramatic, drawn-out bullshit because all of this is obviously rigged, but it boils down to Janice going home immediately (because: racism), and then a tacky, dystopian, end-of-society-as-we-know-it graphic about the vote being reopened for the bottom bunch.

Shout out to that feeling when you’ve realized Louis is your new king, so you can say insult the old king (“Well, welcome, you’re on the X Factor, and you're head judge”) because he’s so coked out of his mind that he has no idea where he is right now:

Kylie sings while we wait for a showdown that has already been determined (related: I’m surprised she’s still pushing the country album), and I love her horse shirt/white pants and the fact that Dermot barely gives a passing nod to the huge thing that was Kylie + Robbie in the ‘90s and how she managed to get not one but two pool tables plus a full bar on stage (me as Dermot, when the crowd only gives a smattering of applause, “Come ON…KYLIE!!!!”):

(And if you think rbb and sbb wouldn’t be knocked out by this spectacle, then you aren’t prepared for the Met Gala, let me show you the door right now, this is ‘90s-level Britney.)

We come back to the "shocking’ news that Bella is the immediate save based on public votes (Louis’s face vs. Simon’s face, lmaoooooo); Louis yelling good luck to Molly across the stage while he’s hugging Brendan when they’re down to the final handful is my new religion, breathtaking, this is the hunger games:

We’re left with the choir and Brendan, and god bless Dermot for noticing that Louis’s in full papa bear mode with Brendan, so he just leaves it alone before break (in America, that would not have happened, and I love both Louis and Dermot equally in this moment for the way they protect him).

When you read a fic and a character is “spitting out” his words but you don’t quite buy it, go visit this episode and watch Louis because, “I’m absolutely speechless, I don’t think Brendan DESERVES to be here,” is Websters, the spit in it, Jesus, it’s so fucking REAL.

Radiohead for Brendan’s sing off is actually a good choice, not only because of the notes but because Louis knows about Simon’s boner for acapella openers (he pointed it out last episode), geddit, sbb, and I love how fucking here for this performance Louis is, the full scronch, arms raised, standing O during the final bits, god, to have his support must be something else, the words he's pouring in to Brendan’s ears at the end when he hugs him, can you even imagine????

The explanation of what a deadlock is means that that's what we’re gonna get...thanks, editorial team!

Simon’s a terrible actor, and I’m actually insulted by watching him pretend to deliberate that a fucking CHOIR is going to win this, so I fully support Louis yelling at him off mic. It boils down to Ayda, and because we know a deadlock is coming, that’s what happens.

This entire thing takes me back to Spain, and Liam and Louis and Nile talking about these guys’ LIVES being affected by this bullshit, and you can see it in Louis’s face (it’s not about him, not at all, so I’m not here for people trying to say it’s sabotage on Louis; he wouldn’t think so either):

The choir loses because, yes, of course, they do, so while Robbie’s deadpanning his, “It was a genuine shock, I couldn’t see it coming, I’m gonna miss my scousers,” Louis’s off on the side, giving all the love in the world to someone being mind-fucked on national TV:

We leave this episode with a real-life trick-or-treat preview for next week: James Arthur (ugh) and Liam Payne (FUCK YES)

[oliampic]

AREN’T YOU A LITTLE SHORT FOR A STORM TROOPER? → liam x griffin

TAGGED→ Liam Sayoc, @griffinsayoc with mentions of Aunt Carolynn, Devone, @sawycrffs​​ @eurydicecostas​ and lighter mentions of @syriafraye​ @roreomarshall​ @pieceofreeses​ @biancaarivera DATE/TIME→ Friday night, 3/10 LOCATION→ Griffin’s dorm room SUMMARY→ The Sayoc cousins finally get to see one another now that Griffin’s out of Devone’s hold and Liam brings him his birthday gift. They discuss what happened to Griffin, how to explain his behavior to Carolynn, the various theories pertaining to the Power Rangers Liam has, and the possibility of Griffin joining the rangers. AUTHOR’S NOTES → two paras in a row where the conclusion was basically “let’s eat instead of talk” so that’s liam in a nutshell

Liam had actually been able to get some rest last night after having a day to process his cousin's return. He had yet to see Griffin until that Friday night, but he had heard from him over texts before then. It had given Liam a sense of comfort he had lost in the last couple months. The fact his cousin had been the first one to text him and asked to hang out showed that Reese had been right about Griffin being truly himself again. Even without knowing all the details, Liam was able to feel relief on that alone. Still, getting to see Griffin was even better, and tonight they were going to have some pizza and catch up. Even without knowing what they would actually catch up on, Liam was excited at the idea. After grabbing his cousin's wrapped birthday gift, Liam walked down the dorm hall until he reached where he needed. Without hesitation, he knocked on his cousin's dorm room door and wait for an answer.

Griffin glanced over at his clock when he heard the knock, and smiled to himself as Liam was on time like always. After the couple months that he'd had, it was a nice comfort to see that not everything had changed. Turning off his tv, Griff walked over and pulled the door open, revealing his cousin standing on the other side. Through everything he'd been through, Liam had tried to be there for him every step of the way no matter how many times Griffin tried to tell him not to. He hadn't appreciated it then, but he definitely did now. "Hey," he said with a small smile as he took a step back and opened the door wider. Griffin knew there was a ton to make up to everyone he cared about, but thankfully he got that chance to do just that now. "I'm glad you weren't busy. It's been a while and stuff."

Liam had been holding his breath, though he only realized that due to the inhale of air he took in as soon as the door swung open. Just as promised by Reese, there was Griffin on the other side of it. The real Griffin. Even though the gift in his hand was bulky, it was at least soft, which was good since Liam went right in for a hug to Griff. As a kid he had been affectionate with giving hugs, but after military school he was usually more reserved about them outside of family. After meeting the Marshall twins though and having a fair share of hugs exchanged between the two, Liam started being less shy about doing them. Considering the circumstance, he was needing to have that physical proof that his cousin was himself, "It has been awhile and stuff, hasn't it?" Liam joked as they embraced, deciding to take a step back after a few moments passed. After stepping back, he took some steps in to Griffin's dorm room then turned to face him and lifted the brightly wrapped gift towards him, "I figured it would be better to open it here in case you didn't want to take it along with us." He gave a small smile at Griff, "Better late than never, right?"

Griffin was surprised to find Liam's arms wrapped around him in a big hug, but it didn't take him long to relax into it. It honestly blew his mind that there were people in the world left who didn't absolutely hate him, especially the people he'd been closest too before. He'd done everything in his power to push people away, hurting them in the process, and yet he still had people in his life. It was nothing short of a miracle. "You really didn't have to get me anything," he said as he relented and accepted the gift Liam offered. Unlike before when he was was being an ass because the mood struck him, this time Griffin felt unworthy. His birthday had been the start of everything going wrong. It didn't exactly leave time to celebrate anything until now. "I have to grab my shoes anyway. I think one got kicked under the bed." Closing his dorm door once Liam was inside with him, he looked at the present in his hands and back up to his cousin, silently making sure that Liam didn't want to take it back and give it to someone who sucked a whole lot less. "But yeah, I mean, I can open it if you want." Griffin carried it over to the bed and tugged at the taped corners to get rid of the wrapping.

Liam was a little too excited at the fact his cousin was back to fully be aware of his surprise at the hug. It wasn't until he heard Griffin's uncertainty in being given a gift that he could tell there was something weighting on his cousin's mind. Granted, Liam could probably guess what a few of those things were. Telling Griffin he was better than he believed was something Liam never had a problem doing, especially during times where he really needed it, "It's been sitting wrapped like that for a couple months, I think it's time to let it out of there." He offered, trying to keep the moment light even if the atmosphere didn't fully match it as Griffin finished opening the gift and unveiling a replica of Finn's brown leather jacket from Star Wars, "When I saw it, I knew I had to get it for you. Partly because it gets way colder here than I thought, and partly because of the namesake. I thought that the only and coolest Finn I knew should have a Finn jacket."

Griffin pulled open the present and couldn't help but to smile at it. Liam was always the thoughtful one. "Think I can pull it off?" he asked as he slid the jacket on his arms and tried it on. Just like he expected, it fit perfectly. "I think I'm going to wear it all the time even if I can't," he admitted as he shrugged his shoulders and felt how comfortable and easy to move in the jacket was. "Thank you, Liam," he said as he got more serious as he looked over at his cousin and best friend. "For everything. I know I haven't really been myself lately." Griffin slid the jacket off and hung it over the back of his desk chair to avoid having to look at Liam as he apologized. It was always hard keeping things from Liam, and he didn't want to start now, but then again he had no idea where to even begin to explain it all. "And I've been really unfair to you, and I'm so sorry." Griffin tried to keep his emotions in check as he continued. "I won't be like that anymore. Ever."

Liam had known Griffin would like the gift, but seeing him wear it and the smile that got paired with it made the wait completely worth it. He had started to think he truly was never going to see this side of his cousin again after all. However, he didn't expect the serious tone that his cousin proceeded with, "Griff-" He started, prepared to stop the words but he felt like maybe it was important to Griffin to get them out. So he stood there quietly and listened. It would be lying if he said he didn't ​want​ answers to what had happened, but he also wasn't sure how to bring it up. He was just so ecstatic at the fact Griffin was home that he felt like he could handle not knowing anything a little longer. It was almost worth a laugh at how little he was focused on getting answers now when just the other day he was getting no sleep over it. Now that Liam was seeing Griffin struggle with trying to give a sincere apology without knowing how to start, it pushed Liam to want to be honest with him, "I know it was something Devone did to you that made you like this," Liam blurted, albeit a little more blunt than even he intended, "No one told me anything. Funny enough, you were still seemingly the most honest one with me. I just knew that you'd never work with Devone willingly, especially if he wanted to take over the Earth. It just... didn't sound right. It didn't ​feel​ right either."

Griffin looked over at Liam, the surprise written all over his face, but then again Liam was always a lot smarter than he got credit for. Griffin couldn't even count the number of times his cousin had given him homework help over the years despite being a grade below him and haven't even been taught the same lessons yet. "You're right, it was," he admitted to him. Swallowing hard and looking down at his sock covered feet, Griffin weighed just how much of the story he could tell his cousin. "I don't think everyone really knows it all, you know? Like they don't know where I'm from and ...they don't know Devone and what he's capable of." Griffin slid his hands into his pockets and looked over at Liam. He trusted his cousin more than anyone, and he'd always been there for him through everything. He had no reason to think that would change now. "But he is back, and I think he might even be worse now. It's all just starting, and I'm just," he took a deep breath and sighed as he exhaled. "I'm really lucky that the power rangers were able to save me when they did. Who knows what I would have done if they didn't. I really hurt people. A lot of them."

Liam was feeling true relief wash over him as he and Griffin talked. It had been so long since he had had anyone to talk to that even the bits of their conversation now helped restore some normalcy he had been missing. Which was ironic considering he was hearing about how the Earth was in grave danger, just not in those exact words. But he had heard enough about Devone from Griffin to know the truth hidden in there, "They had promised me that they'd get you back. That day when the Lizardmen attacked in Brooklyn. After the yellow and white rangers saved me from those... things," It was rare for Liam to really demonize anything but he was having to rationalize the creatures as being like living rag dolls so he wouldn't find guilt for helping in the demise of one of them, "They said they'd get you back. I don't know if they really did it for me or not, but I'm just glad they knew you were worth saving like I do." He explained, his tone soft as he talked about the events, "I uh..." Liam licked his lips as he prepared himself to actually say what he had thought to be true, "I got worried that since you were the black ranger that they'd change their minds." His eyes were on Griffin completely, gauging his reaction as he revealed another bit of information he thought to be true, "That was you, wasn't it?"

Griffin hated remembering the way he'd stood by and watched as Liam was in danger because of Devone. He liked to think that if they would have gotten too close to really hurting him, that he would have stepped in, but the truth was he didn't think that he would have. He was too far gone to trust himself with even the most basic responses then, and he silently added thanking the Reese and whoever wore the yellow ranger suit for their help in keeping Liam safe. "If it was for you, I think I owe you even more than I already do," he said with a small smile as he pulled out his desk chair and took a seat on it. Liam knew a lot, and Griffin believed he owed it to him to fill in any leftover blanks that he could. "Yeah," he admitted honestly as he leaned his forearms against his legs. "It was uh.. When I went with the others to that island thing," he began, glancing up at Liam to make sure he was following. "I ran into Devone there in some caves we were wandering around." Reliving the whole experience had his hands twitching from nerves. Rubbing them together, he tried to shake it off as he continued. "He took me back to his liar or whatever it's called and uh, injected me with some kind of stuff that really messed with me. He wanted me to be like his super soldier or something. You know, like Captain America except the terrible Hyrdra version." Griffin took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair. It felt good to be able to talk about it. It wasn't easy, but it was necessary. "I could feel myself doing all this stuff, but it just made me so angry. Everything did. I couldn't shake it. It was like any time I'd break through for even a little bit, it would come right back. But uhm, it won't be like that anymore. They uh..the rangers, they used some kind of..I don't know what it was, but some kind of something to take whatever growth from my brain. I guess it worked, because I'm sitting here."

Liam was following Griffin's story and piecing it along with the information he had been obsessing over. He took a seat on Griffin's bed, which even back home tended to be how they sat, so he could be at the same level as Griffin now that he was down. At the mention of the caves, Liam remembered the video from the camera that he and Rory had found when they visited Shadow Island. The last he had heard was Griffin's screams and Devone making promise of Griffin ripping "her", who Liam assumed was Sawyer, apart. Now he was hearing about where his cousin had went to after that, and it was certainly something he would have never imagined on his own. Hearing it though made perfect sense, despite it not being such a commonly heard tale. Still, the talks of having what sounded like brain surgery was one of the bigger twists. His eyes grew wide and glanced at his cousin's forehead, wondering if he would see any scars. If there was one, Griffin's hair was covering it, "I can't believe that all of this was just... happening while everyone else was going about their days." He admitted, repeating bits of the story he now knew and his cousin's words in general. It was a lot to take in, but it answered so many questions. Later he likely would think of more, but not getting all the answers wasn't new to the younger Sayoc, "But they saved you, Griff. Even with everything you did and everything I know you're beating yourself up for, they still rescued you. I mean it has to mean something." Liam had been holding out for hope that somehow, once Griffin was back, that it would work out where he'd be an ally of the Rangers rather than enemy. Seeing how upset he was with himself, Liam had wanted to show that he wasn't the only one seeing good in him, "You know. If you still have the Ranger powers, you could join them. I talked with Bianca and Syria about this, without naming any names or anything, and they both thought the Black Ranger could work along side them eventually. I think it could happen, too. You've always been a hero in my life. I could see the Black Ranger being like that for others."

Griffin noticed as Liam's eyes drifted up at his head, and he fought back a smile. After all, he'd done the same thing when he'd woke up and remembered everything that had happened. He wasn't entirely sure that it had happened at all until he'd talked to Bianca and she confirmed it. Still, it was hard to believe and he'd been there, so Liam seeming shocked by it seemed natural to him. "I can't believe everything kept going like normal when I wasn't here. I have so much school stuff to make up. It's probably good that my football eligibility isn't on the line this semester." Of all the things that had happened, failing some classes didn't crack the top ten of his problems, and that was saying a lot. "I don't know, Liam. I think they saved me to stop me from hurting anyone else, you know? It's like, they're heroes. Like, real ones. They had to stop me, and I think I got lucky that they're good at what they do or they would have had to find another way." Hearing that Bianca thought he could one day join the power rangers brought his smile out as he glanced towards the floor. She'd been a big comfort to him, and knowing that she was the same to Liam in a way, felt good. The mention of Syria on the other hand, was something he chose to ignore. There was too much about her that he didn't understand. While Griffin was willing to share everything about his own secrets with his cousin, he didn't feel like sharing other people's was his call, even when that other person was Syria. "You can still say that after everything?" Griffin looked over at Liam and was surprised not to see disappointment pointed in his direction. "After everything I've done?"

Liam was finding getting back in the groove with his cousin took no time at all. They were used to being apart for months then reuniting, and even if the circumstance weren't the exact same, it felt like it could be applied here. Unlike Griffin and the rest, Liam mostly had school as his focus and he had immersed himself in it. He also had been using his time to work on finding a way to save Griffin, but he usually didn't get anywhere with that and thus defaulted to doing school work he knew had answers there. Or at least provided a distraction. Homework had become something he could find some comfort in, even in its challenges, though he still often preferred being out and doing something. It came in handy during the times he tried to help Griffin out with school work. He would be sure to offer his help with any of Griff's make-up course work. There were more pressing matters to address first, like reassuring his cousin, "Yes, of course, cousin. I've known you most of my life, I know who you really are. Devone took your mind over, but he didn't take your heart. You wouldn't be here if he had, regardless of whatever the Rangers did. If that was who you really were, you wouldn't of come back." Liam tried to rationalize, finding it easy for himself to differentiate the Griffin he knew and the Griffin that had been present the last few months. He had not been through what Griffin had, though, and it certainly made a difference, "And anyway, brainwashed or not, you're my family. We stick together, right? Even if you decide to be a Ranger, you'll still be a Sayoc, too."

Griffin looked over at his cousin with a warm smile on his face. Liam had always made him feel welcomed and like family right from the start. "I think I'll stick to being a Sayoc." He wished he could have the confidence in himself that Liam had in him, but he never had, and the past couple months sure didn't help it. "So uhm, how's my mom?" he asked even as he was scared to hear the answer. He hated that he'd scared her as he'd disappeared into himself under Devone's rule and left her wondering what had happened. She was hardly alone in being treated that way by him, but it didn't make him feel any better about it. "Do you think if I tell her it was school stress that she won't ask many questions?" Unlike with Liam, there was no way he felt up to trying to explain everything to his mom. He'd stopped telling her stories of his alien days when he was a kid, and was pretty sure they were all explained away by an active childhood imagination. "I owe her an apology either way. I owe a ton of people one."

Liam nodded, agreeing with Griff. He didn't find himself disappointed by Griffin's answer of still not accepting the idea of himself being a Ranger. Him knowing and being a Sayoc was the more important role and just as stratifying of an answer. Griffin was his cousin first and foremost, and Liam was still just happy to have him really back home. Though he would surely try to get Griffin to see himself as the hero he knew him to be, "Maybe. Hopefully." Liam started, trying to weight their limited options on what to tell her. "Honestly... I think hearing from you in the first place will be a big relief for her. Though... if you were still living with her then you'd definitely be grounded." Liam chuckled, trying to poke some fun in an effort to keep Griffin from feeling too guilty. At least while he was there with him, "I think if you promise to call her every day. Or maybe every other day, she'll know you're really okay."

Griffin nodded his head, agreeing with Liam. He couldn't put off calling his mom for long, no matter how uncomfortable it might be at first. Waiting longer would only make things worse. "She might try to ground me here too," he said to continue their light and joking tone. He had more than enough guilt to let him swallow him whole if he let it, and right now he was too happy to have life back. It was when he was alone that it was the hardest to keep his mind from going in that direction. "I'll call her every day if she wants. Maybe she'll get better at texting and I can send her those more." Griffin reached over to dig his shoe out from under his bed so he could pull them on. "I've got a lot to make up for."

Liam chuckled at Griffin's own joke, finding his humor even more funny than normal. Likely due to not hearing him say one that wasn't actually a threat or insult in weeks, "I've texted her here and there. She's still go a ways to go but I think she'd learn to get better at it for you." Liam assured with a smirk. It was also incredibly nice to hear him also think of Aunt Carolynn again when before the attitude was different. The fact that Devone had managed to literally get into Griffin's head like was rather terrifying to think about. The fact the Rangers went the extra mile to get him back, not just physically but mentally, he knew he owed the world to them, "After you talk with Aunt Lynn, maybe a good person to start making up with is Eury." Liam offered absentmindedly, though he quickly remembered Griffin didn't know that Liam knew her secret, too, "I... saw those tweets between you two after she told me she got stabbed. She didn't ​tell​ me it was you, though. I just kind of figured that the only reason you would do that to her is if she was someone you thought was an enemy. Like maybe... a Power Ranger? Or someone from Nexus? Or maybe... both?" Liam was trying to be forthright with Griffin but he also worried he may have been treading into the territory of secrets he wasn't supposed to know since they weren't his or even Griffins to keep, "I mean... since you were chosen to be the Black Ranger even though Sawyer was there, I thought that maybe it means the Power Rangers are actually from Nexus, too."

Griffin froze when Liam mentioned Eury. Of all the things that he'd done over the past couple of months, he'd hurt her the most. She could have died, and it would have completely been his fault. "I don't think she's going to want to talk to me for a while. Maybe ever." Griffin leaned back in his chair but kept his eyes on the floor. Ashamed didn't even seem strong enough of a word to describe how he felt about it, then he had gone and made it worse gloating about it on Twitter. "She's not from Nexus," he said with a soft sigh as he tried to figure out how to explain the rest. It wasn't exactly easy to explain why he'd stabbed her without giving away that Eury was in fact a Power Ranger. "But you're right about thinking she was an enemy. I mean, she was there and trying to stop some of Devone's plans, and well..." Griffin couldn't make himself say what he'd done again. Liam already knew, and it was easier to skip over saying it somehow. "They don't know why the stuff Devone worked on me, so I guess that means it's cause I'm from Nexus. He could tell somehow, and then when I was bleeding and stuff." Griffin swallowed hard and shifted in his seat as he was uncomfortable reliving it. "I guess that's why he took me. I tried to stop him from taking her. From taking Sawyer. I guess it could have worked, but Devone usually gets what he wants."

Liam was surprised at hearing that Eury wasn't from Nexus. After Griffin had told him that there were more Nexus survivors than him, he had become confident that he was right about the Rangers being of the same civilization. Granted, he didn't have all the other details he was getting now. Though he was regretting bringing it up now that he was seeing the remorse his cousin was having. Still, it did further prove his cousin was himself. Liam had seen him beat himself up over not throwing a winning pass, or if a teammate of his got injured by a play he decided to call. Those situations seemed like hardly anything in comparison to now. Still, while Griff didn't say Eury was a Ranger, he didn't deny she was being seen as an enemy. It was enough confirmation for him about that matter, "I knew it." He said, breaking a smile out even though it was incredibly misplaced, "Rory and I had found your camera on Shadow Island... We went there a few days after everyone else went. It was my idea to go. She had come to my dorm to apologize for leaving you behind and try to just talk to me about what happened when no one else would." Liam explained, hoping Griff would understand why he went there. Bianca had been clear to Liam she hadn't thought it was a good idea to go when he told her, after all, "I watched all the footage before she did to make sure there wasn't anything that'd tell her you weren't from around here. It was mostly audio and it cut in and out a lot, but... I was positive that you had tried to save Sawyer from him. Even before knowing it was Devone. Even though he got you, you did stop him from his original plan. If the serum didn't work on her, then there's really no telling what he would have done instead. But she's still here because of you. Try to keep that in mind while you're beating yourself up, okay?" 

Griffin understood Liam being proud that he'd figured some things out. Getting only bits and pieces of a story had to be frustrating, especially when coupled with Griffin acting the way that he had been. "The tape didn't show anything? I mean, I talked to Sawyer some right after, and she didn't seem to know a whole lot, but I didn't think to ask anyone else." Griffin leaned back in his chair, running his hands through his mess curls. "She might have handled it all better than me, but yeah, I didn't want her to have to deal with us. Besides, it was my fault we were in those caves after all." He took a deep breath and sighed as he exhaled. "I don't know, man. I don't think I'm going to feel okay with any of this for a really long time, you know?"

Liam kept watching his cousin, wishing there was more comfort he would be able to provide him with his words. His eyes then looked at the gift he had just given Griffin and thought of just one more thing to say in the hopes of getting is spirits back up. He brought himself closer to Griffin, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. Reese had done a similar action the other night and it had brought a comfort to him. Hopefully he same could be said for Griffin now, "Even Finn was a storm trooper for the Empire before he decided for himself which side he really wanted to fight on." Liam tried to reason. Sure a fictional character wasn't real life, but their relationship included finding comfort in those made up worlds. He let the words hang in the air and gave a genuine, soft smile at his cousin before he continuing on, "But for now, how about we get some pizza?"

Griffin took comfort in how much Liam still continued to believe in him. He considered himself very lucky because it. "Dunno that I'll ever live up to it, but I do like his jacket." Griff pulled on his shoes and slipped on his new jacket as he stood up. It felt like a load off his shoulders to have talked to his cousin about every thing. Even better, he realized that he hadn't fully lost Liam from his life. His cousin understood and still was by his side after it all. "Yeah, let's go get some pizza."

[scotwresnet]

Creativity can come in many formats and not just through the normal channels of painting, drawing, writing or making music. The mere act of gathering, editing and presenting ideas is an art form in itself and I am lucky enough to have had the chance to speak to someone who does it for a living and on a grand scale. All very cryptic I’m sure you’ll agree but it’ll all become obvious to you very shortly so stay with me. Welcome to another edition of SWN Behind the Art. Let’s begin…

Can you start by introducing yourself and what it is you do?

My name’s Scott Reid, and I’m one of the Creative Producers for ICW.

My job covers a lot of bases, but long story short, I work with Dallas to put together and book ICW shows, produce Fight Club episodes, work on our video content that the company puts out, and generally help drive the creative direction of the show. Basically, if you can see it live or on screen, I’ve probably got something to do with it!

When did you start and how did it all come about?

It’s been a bit of a long journey to where I’m at right now. I was at the first ICW show at The Garage in 2012, and was just blown away by what I was seeing. A few chance meetings and conversations later over the next year, I started writing and creating the official ICW magazine in 2013. From there, I just became more and more involved with the company, be that through editing videos, filming backstage, helping sell merch, but the whole time, I was also around booking meetings and creative sessions, just soaking up knowledge, and learning as much as i could about how and why things are done.

Dallas always welcomed my opinion on things, even as far back as 2014/15, but it was probably from around early 2016 that I started making any real major contributions creatively to the show. Now I’m a fully fledged writer on the show, which is a great job. Definitely worth the time it took to get there.

To many of us fans it would be considered one of the dream jobs in the wrestling business but I’m sure it’s got as many fulfilling moments to complete headaches and heartaches. What are the highs and lows of being a creative producer?

Its definitely a fulfilling job. It’s an incredible feeling when you’ve been working on a show like Fear & Loathing for months, and then it all comes together on the night. Not just from a perspective of everything going the way you hoped it would, but knowing that fans enjoyed themselves is a great feeling. It’s one thing to write something and think “I would love to see this”, but when you hear an audience react to something positively in the venue, you just can’t beat that. If people are paying their money to come to our show, I want to leave the venue that night knowing they had a good time.

On the flip side, there’s definitely hard times with the job, specifically with things that are just completely out of your control. When you’re writing a show, you have your plan for the matches, but there’s so many things that can cause a change to a match, or even a whole story line, that you can’t do anything about. 

Wrestling’s very physical and dangerous, and with that comes injuries that can happen at any time. If someone gets injured the day before an ICW show, then we don’t have any other choice but to come up with an alternative. The show must go on, as they say! Learning to roll with the punches in a calm and logical way can be hard, but its just something that comes with the role.

In wrestling, I’m presuming, it’s easier to get a crazy angle or story line through than a tame one right? What is the craziest angle you’ve ever suggested?

We’ve had so many ridiculous conversations that I’ve probably forgotten most of them, but the most prominent one that springs to mind that actually happened was having Good Housekeeping III main event at Fear & Loathing. When Liam Thomson returned to ICW after his injury, there was initially very different ideas of what he would be doing. Fan outcry for a second Good Housekeeping Match was so loud though, so I went to Dallas, and suggested doing it, and building towards a third match at Fear & Loathing. The fact that we could even get a second match out of such a mental concept was amazing in itself, never mind doing another one a year later in the main event of the biggest show of the year! It’s a testament to how good Liam and Wolfgang are though. Those two made those matches really special.

I’m also responsible for the giant sponge in Good Housekeeping II. I didn’t really pitch that to anyone, I just showed up on the day of the show with a 6 foot tall sponge. I still don’t tell folk where it came from. I want it to become an urban legend of Scottish wrestling!

Haha I won’t persue that any further then, I like an urban myth too. With that being said what’s your favourite angle that you’ve created? Favourite people to work with?

It so hard to really appreciate how something’s going at the time, because so often, it’s over, and you just move onto the next thing.

That being said, i remember being really happy with the BT Gunn/Mikey Whiplash feud into Barramania 4, with the Death Match for the World Title. I was really heavily involved in that story, and the creativity from the others involved just made it all the better. The best stuff comes from collaboration, in my opinion. Ideas from one person building on the ideas of another can create gold.

There’s so many people that I enjoy working with. Coming up with ideas with The Kinky Party is always a lot of fun, as there’s very few things that are off the table with them. Wolfgang is another one who’s a lot of fun to work with, because despite having done this for 15+ years, he’s still got the same enthusiasm for wrestling. I say all the time, and i really mean it in the best way, he’s like a big kid who just loves wrestling, and it’s hard not to be drawn in by that type of love for what you’re doing. Kay Lee Ray’s always someone i look forward to working with as well, especially on a show day. Kay Lee’s someone I could probably say two words to, and I could trust that she’d still go out and absolutely nail it, but she’s a perfectionist, so it’s always good to be able to sit down and really flesh out ideas with her at a show.

I really enjoy writing some of the darker elements on the show, and when stuff like that is being put together, BT Gunn is someone who I can really get on the same wavelength with. He’s fearless when it comes to trying out ideas, so when we’re trying to push the envelope, he and I really work well together. Mikey Whiplash is very much the same. Producing stuff with him has always been like a treat for me. There’s almost nothing that’s out of bounds with him, and that makes my job a lot more exciting.

Has lockdown been a blessing or a curse for you? Have you had more time to write new storyline’s or plan for future shows etc?

At the beginning of Lockdown, i was obviously really gutted. I felt like we had some really good stuff going on, so it was sad to see it come to a halt, plus i love the thrill of a show day, so not having that has been weird. That being said, I feel like lock down has allowed us to shift our focus and do some good stuff elsewhere. We’ve really worked hard to make ICW On Demand as accessible and interesting to people as possible during this time. People are bored, so we wanted to make sure we can still give them some entertainment! The ICW iPhone/Android App is something that we’ve spoken about for a while, so it was great to get that released, and we’ve even recently launched the ICW App on Amazon Fire TV. That’s something people have been asking about for a while, so hopefully a lot of people are happy with it.

As far as storylines go, there’s not a day goes by where I’m not writing ideas down, but it’s everything’s so up on the air at the minute, that everything we’re doing creatively has a bit of a question mark over it. Once we have a clearer idea of when we’ll be able to run shows again, we’ll be diving head first into things though.

Now that I’ve completely freaked you out about what you’ll have to go back to after lock down, all the stresses and strains of being a creative producer haha. Are you creative outside of wrestling as well? Do you draw, write, create music or anything?

I’m nowhere as creative elsewhere as I once was. As a young kid, I was never without a pen or pencil in my hand, drawing something, but then I got older, and wrestling caught me! haha!

I really engulf myself in work, so when i’m not doing that, I just try and relax where I can. Cinema and comic books are two of my biggest loves. I’m always watching or reading something, and even then, I’m usually working in the back of my head. I’m always watching something and thinking how I can draw influence from it in filming promos, or the how I can present something a specific way on a show. All my creativity goes to ICW! 

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

Just really want to thank all the fans who have continued to support ICW in the past few months. Means a lot that in such a difficult time, people are continuing to share our content, pick up merch, subscribe to On Demand, and engage with us on the lock down show on YouTube and Facebook each week. Hopefully we can get back to normal sooner rather than later, and see everyone! Until then, everyone stay safe!

Where can people contact you? Social media pages etc.

Both my Instagram and Twitter are @scottreidicw. Nice and easy!

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I’d like to thank Scott for taking the time to answer my questions and giving us all an insight into how the creative process works in the world of professional wrestling. An absolute pleasure to talk to him.

And if you’d like to be featured in Behind The Art you can send in your art to:

Instagram: @themaskedembroiderer Twitter: @TEmbroiderer Or email us ScotWresNet@gmail.com Or use the hashtags #scottishwrestlingart or #scottishwrestlingfanart

Behind The Art #17: Scott Reid

Behind The Art #17: Scott Reid

Behind The Art #17: Scott Reid