#now is always sooner than later
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rainyfdayz · 4 months ago
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A post no one will listen to
Hey
Like it's great and all to have background noise, but language processing sometimes just really doesn't work like that I was trying to listen to a video while scrolling here on tumblr and absorbed literally none of it. Drawing, crocheting, knitting, and like, non-language based activities you can do while listening to someone talk but please don't try and write while you're listening to someone talk to you if you wanna absorb the words.
And yeah yeah you can be built different whatever but, maybe give it a shot later and reserve that YouTube video you were gonna put on to learn something for later when you're not writing e-mails for work or writing in general or reading a book. (I might be the only one who needs to know this idk I might be stupid) This also applies to college lectures and classes you will absorb less of the lesson if you are playing a game that requires a lot of reading (any kind dialogue counts) or scrolling on a website and reading. You would learn more if you had an earbud in with music than scrolling tumblr please.)
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mayullla · 6 months ago
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NO I AM NOT OKAY. IF THIS PERSON WHO DID IT IS SOMEONE WHO FOLLOWS ME TAKE IT FREAKING DOWN. I NEVER GAVE PERMISSION FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS AND NEVER WILL.
If someone knows about this fic. Please please please I beg you please send a link to me so that I could report it. If I remember correctly it is only the author who could report something being stolen on wattpad. (The story they took from is one of my original works that is Just One Drop) And please if you do know or if you find out don't go attacking this person.
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phantoms-lair · 5 months ago
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((Yeah, still trying to plug away at these)) Dc Comics x Video Game Is it cheating if the video game already takes place in DC comics? Maybe. But I make the rules. ~ Tim Drake had a lot of things. Money. Power (from being CEO of Wayne Enterprises), a wonderful boyfriend, intelligence, enough stealth skills to spy on Batman in his prime, and a mastery of the bo staff.
There were two things Tim didn't have. A spleen, and a lot of free time. Not much could be done about the spleen thing, aside from a rigorous antibiotic regime, but his free time was precious. Free time he got to spend with Bernard even more so. Which is why he had to strangle down a scream when in the middle of the best lunch date he'd had in mouths, his phone went off.
"You could ignore it?" Bernard half heartedly suggested.
"Not with that particular ringtone," Tim said ruefully.
"Of course you have different ringtone for different emergency levels, Bernard teased fondly.
And it was true. But this emergency was less 'company stock tanking' and more 'possible end of the world'. He clicked the answer button and held the phone to his ear, ruefully mourning the end of his date.
"Brainiac is launching a full invasion of Earth with the intent to digitize it all into data which will then either be kept or deleted." Batman's voice came with not preamble, no asking about security or whether Tim could be overheard. "In at least one timeline this was successful. The Lex Luthor of that timeline has implemented a plan to ensure Earths survival by increasing the number of Metas-"
"Tim look out!" Tim dropped his phone as Bernard pulled him out of his seat, and out of where a piece of alien tech had been about to crash down. A BZZZZT of energy flared and a wall formed, trapping anyone who hadn't fled inside. Tim looked up. Brainiac's troops were beginning to swarm the arm. "
We need to go."
"But those people-" Bernard looked at the entire city block that was encased in energy.
"We need to find the Bats." Well, they needed Oracle, which Tim could no longer do without his phone. Or Bernard's, which he could still see resting on the outdoor table next to the pylon that had almost finished the job Widower had started.
Bernard nodded. Tim was right, they needed help for this. "It's daytime, so Signal?"
"Signal's a good start." Tim agreed. He cupped his hands around his mouth, shouting so the people trapped could hear. "We're getting the Bats!"
"And the Justice League!" Bernard added.
Tim doubted that. If Brainiac was doing this worldwide, the League would be spread thin. Gotham was in the hands of it's own protectors. He grabbed Bernard's wrist, pulling him along. "Let's go!"
~
Tim and Bernard both pulled each other away from their former lunch spot, all too aware of the screams of fear they were leaving behind. Everything in Tim that was Robin wanted to go back and help those people trapped in the forcefield, but he couldn't. He needed to get to Oracle, he needed to get Bernard somewhere safe so he could switch over to being Red Robin. He needed-
New screams interrupted his thoughts. Oh this was the LAST thing they needed right now. A giant hulk of a man wearing joker face paint and with burning hands and clothes torn at the seams was lifting up a car and looked to be smashing it on woman shielding a small child. He moved without thinking, letting go of Bernard and dashing forward, pulling the two out of the line of fire. He heard the crunch of the car behind, them. Too close. Much too close.
"Aw, someone want to be a good Samaritan." The Joker-hulk sneered. The fire in his hands sparked and he sent a blast towards them.
Tim needed something. A shield, his staff- suddenly he felt a familiar weight in his hands. Without thinking he spun his staff to block the flame and was rewarded by hearing it sizzle out. Bernard's jaw was dropped. Okay, first things first, he needed to deal with this guy and then think of an excuse for his bo staff proficiency with Bernard.
Fire clown was coming in again. He landed a solid strike to the guy jaw, knocking him aside but his flaming hands grazed Tim's sleeve setting it alight.
"No!" Bernard cried and started to glow. Light seemed to overtake him for an instant and his form changed to include two large wings sprouting from his back. In an instant the light faded and Tim could see the wings were blue. Bernard reached out and thick vines burst from the ground, holding the assailant down.
"What the heck-?" Tim whispered.
"Oh you're one to talk Mister 'Summons a bo staff from water'." Bernard sniped.
What? Tim finally payed attention to the weapon his hand and realized as Bernard said, it was made of water. And not ice, but like...flowing water. He dropped it and it lost it's form splashing to the ground.
"You just started glowing and then you made that and your hair grew out."
"You started glowing and you got wings." Tom countered.
"I what?" Bernard turned to look at his back. "I have wings!"
The Lex Luthor of that timeline has implemented a plan to ensure Earths survival by increasing the number of Metas Was that what had happened to them? Was that where fire clown had come from?
"Are you two superheroes?" The child they had saved asked. The mother pulled her closer, not trusting even if they had saved her. Clearly she was from Gotham.
"For today at least." Bernard said brightly. He knelt in front of the child and made a beautiful flower appear. "But you and your Mom should get to safety. It's going to be a bad day even for Gotham."
"He's not wrong." Tim re-summoned his staff (how was it so easy?). He brought the end down on the fire clown's head, knocking him out before he could burn through the vines. "We're going to find Signal and get the Bats help. You two get home if you can and hide if you can't."
The woman was already leaving, which good for her.
"So we're superheroes now?' Bernard said.
Tim sighed. "We seem to have powers and..." Yeah he couldn't say anything after he jumped in to save those two. "We don't know if they're permanent though."
"True. But I bet we can find Signal faster from the air."
"We don't even know if those wings work." Tim pointed out, but Bernard wasn't waiting for an answer, scooping up Tim Bridal style in his arms.
"You're not afraid of heights are you?"
"N-no." Oh gods he was blushing. He was blushing so hard. Was this how Lois felt?
"Then here goes." Bernard's knees bent and wings flared out and suddenly they were in the air. ~ Tim did not have a photographic memory, but it was close. And right now he was imprinting the image of the the wind ruffling through Bernard's hair as he flies them around Gotham as hard as he can. Maybe these powers are permanent and Bernard will always be able to do this. But odds are just as good these powers will be gone in an hour. He wished he had a camera to capture this forever. Maybe make one built into a contact lens so he can take pictures of whatever he sees-
"Any sign of Signal?"
Right. The mission. If this was permanent he was going to have to ask Lois how she focused on anything when Clark was carrying her like this. Maybe exposure therapy. He'd have to look into that. Now where was Duke supposed to be this time of day.
Thankfully they were all adept at navigating patrol routes from above thanks to needed to use the batplanes. Following the patrol route..."There!"
Bernard swooped down to where he pointed to where Gotham's daylight defender was finishing with a group attacking him.
"Is that Intergang?" Tim wondered out loud. "I thought they were more based in Metropolis?"
"Manners," Bernard chided gently. "I'm Bernard Dowd, This is Tim Drake. The city block where we were eating has some kind of force-field over it and people were trapped inside. Also we somehow got super powers and we want to help!"
"We're not the only ones." Tim pointed out grimly. "Joker doesn't tend to go for metas in his group-doesn't want anyone who can upstage him. And the tears in his clothes indicated he wasn't that big this morning. So we maybe dealing with a super power epidemic."
"So you'll need all the help you can get." Bernard restated.
Outwardly Signal just seemed to be taking it all in. But Tim could his metaphorical eyebrow twitch and knew what going through his head. Technically there was protocol for civilians approaching them to go vigilante too. And that protocol was to shut them down. Redirect them into things like evacuation if you have to, but whatever you do don't encourage them. But there were two problems with this scenario. One was his knew Tim was a skilled vigilante with more experience than him. The second was between a Brainiac mass invasion, a superpower epidemic, and apparently an Intergang moving to Gotham, they were extremely short handed and did need all the help they could get.
So Duke did the only thing he could. "Signal to Watchtower. Batman come in. I've got a lead on the Intergang case, but Brainiac has started his invasion. I've got two newly meta'd civilians -Tim Drake and Bernard Dowd who want to help. And apparently already fought a meta Joker goon."
Good, letting Bruce know he was alive while hiding it in a mission report.
"Okay, copy." Signal took two little earbuds Tim recognized as comms and handed them to each of them. This must be desperate times indeed if Batman was even entertaining the idea.
"This is Batman." Bruce said once the comms were in their ears. "I would normally never condone this, but it's an emergency. The Justice League is stretched thin with Brainiac's global invasion."
Tim watched Bernard pale. He knew this already, but Bernard was now realizing this wouldn't be a 'heroes swoop in and save the day.' event.
"What are your abilities and level of training?"
"I've trained in martial arts and I'm at least good enough I could manage the members of the Cult of Dionysus before my powers. Also I can now fly and can create and control plant life." Bernard answered confidently.
"He also has increased strength and stamina." Tim added. Bernard gave him a look. "Love, you picked me up like I weighed no more than a plushy and flew me all over Gotham. That takes way more strength and staying power than you would think."
"Oh," Bernard rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
"I've also trained in self-defense, though I've never had to put it to the test." Thankfully Bruce knew how a big a lie that was. "And I seem to have some for of hydrokinesis. I can summon water and form it into weapons."
"Hmm." Bruce sounded thoughtful, but Tim was easily able to translate it to This sucks This sucks This sucks.
"If we're going to be sending civilians into this mess, they'll at least need some protection." Oracles modulated voice cut in over the coms. "And a mask as Tim Drake is a well know public figure. We have the assets we seized from the harbor a few days ago, we can let them use that."
Ah, he'd almost forgotten. They'd done a bust on a guy calling himself 'The Tailor' who was supplying uniforms and gear to villain crews. It wasn't quite Bat-Quality, but was still some pretty high end protective fabrics and equipment.
"Right. We'll have Spoiler take them-"
"Negative." Oracle cut Batman off. "I have Spoiler on a mission. Send Batgirl."
"Negative. Batgirl's skills are imperative right now. Whatever Spoiler's doing-"
"Hood's comm broke and Spoiler's the only one who can enter his territory with impunity." Which was because she lived there and he couldn't very well prevent her from going home. "We need all hands and clear communication on this." Oracle brooked no argument.
Personally Tim was relieved. Bernard had only met a few members of his family in passing. But Steph he'd hung out with. If she and Tim fell back into their usual dynamic, Bernard might figure it out.
"If I may," A new voice broke in over the comm. "For our newcomers, I am Agent A. I mostly work behind the scenes, but as Oracle is handling most of the coordination, I am available for the outing."
This was perfect. He and Bernard had only reconnected after he moved out of the Manor. Bernard had never actually met Alfred.
"Get it handled. I'll be coordinating with Batwoman and Nightwing about taking out that forcefield." Batman cut off his comm.
"I know you've got a lot to do, but if you give us coordinates to the location, we can save time by meeting Agent A there." Tim knew where it was, of course. But he couldn't say that.
"Warehouse on Exter. There's a marking like this on the roof." Signal drew a small emblem in light before it faded away. "Sorry, but I need to get back to the Crime Cult."
"Crime cult away." Bernard said chipperly as he picked up Tim again and Tim felt a flash of relief that it was Duke there and not any other of his brothers.
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lesbianredhoodedmercenary · 2 years ago
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so. if the rooms only appear as the sinners' base egos when they're having a particularly bad time. it seems that heathcliff is just. always having a particularly bad time.
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braidedhades · 7 months ago
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just found out that non-aromantics actually have feelings towards the people they decide to have a crush on. Apparently it’s not like, “hmmm should I consider this person for dating? what are the pros and cons here?” Or like, “I want to be really close friends with that person” But it’s like an actual emotional response or something? An emotion that is different from the “I wanna be really close friends” emotion??
also I just figured out that I’m aromantic
#I’m also ace but I already knew that#Shout out to Jaiden Animations#Never would have figured this stuff out this quickly otherwise#asexual#aromantic#aroace#My first “crush” was Carmen San Diego#I was 18yrs old and that “crush” lasted 2 days#Turns out she wasn’t as pretty when she wasn’t wearing her signature outfit#I didn’t actually have a crush on her I just really liked her outfit#I think I just decided that “ya know I should’ve had a crush on someone by now kinda weird that it hasn’t happened yet”#And then I just picked the first pretty girl I saw#She’s animated so I guess that made it less weird than having a crush on a random stranger#But like there were no actual romantic emotions there#Didn’t know that there were supposed to be any but oh well#The whole “I wanna be really close friends with that person” thing really threw me off for a while#Cuz I thought that was what romantic attraction was#But apparently it’s not???#Too confusing we should just get rid of romance#Honestly my idea of the “ideal romantic/queerplatonic relationship” should have tipped me off sooner that I was aro#It was “a close friend who lives in the same house as me but we have separate bedrooms and sometimes we cuddle on the couch but not…#… always and we don’t hold hands or kiss or anything but we just act like really good but close friends because that’s what I think a…#… romantic relationship is two people who are really close friends”#might delete later I dunno just kinda rambling and I’m really tired
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palaceoftears · 22 days ago
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Magnificent Century Rewatch: One Picspam per Episode
Episode 17: The Double Joy
-My dear mother used to say "walk barefoot on earth and it shall take away all your troubles and sorrows, earth shall give you happiness and joy"
-Your mother spoke well, one can only find peace in earth. But I'm not sure if it is on earth or in it.
#the quote is a little bit silly but it adquires seriousness when you know everything that comes later#especially because it's hurrem's mother's quote from when she lived in ruthenia. when peace was possible. when she was going to marry leo#and had her future all planned. and there was stability#but the joke is suleyman's. after all becoming part of his family is what brings that ambiguity to the quote for hurrem's story#as it could be argued she never found true peace. at least for the most of her life#but also suleyman speaks in general terms here. so the quote can be extended to all the characters and in this episode of double joy it's#even more significant. because peace it's going to go sooner than later. and the signals of future ibratice problems are already there#and just as the birds are partly symbolic of that temporal peace and joy in love for hurrem the gifts the marriage gets are very important#as well#this episode is just gifts gifts gifts all around#suleyman's necklace for hatice has the tulips of the dynasty and it's something ibrahim himself recognizes could never give her#she says she's always going to have it w her. tho i don't remember seeing it too much in her tbh sdfy#in the other side ibrahim gets a lot of gifts. but the one that reminds him of his origin is his father's ofc. and he says he will always#have it with him as well. and later he gets suleyman's ring [i'm w haticehurrem. this totally looks like a subrahim wedding asfg]#which goes to remind us that he's now officially part of his family as well. he returned but he converted again. and THEN there's the table!#and taking away the politic alliance it could signify. it is venetian. his mother's heritage is there. in all the palace. and in the same#episode hurrem mentioned her mother's saying. the dynasty [or at least the most conservative side represented by ayse] it's unconfortable#the converts are not only winning more power and getting closer to the family. but they're also bringing their cultures & traditions to the#*ba dum tss* table#there's more to the whole return/convert and how it shows in the ibratice palace especially later w the statues but if i ever write about it#it deserves a post of its own ofc [and prolly someone that knows what they're talking about more than me lmao]#noo why did i write so much 😭 i should've done a separate post this is a mess to be under an already long picspam#anyways there's other significant gifts as the clock that musti likes or mahi's lucky charm for selim. and also the ones we already knew:#the ibratice gifts together 💝. and these contrast a lot with the rest because it's something of their own. when the couple was separated#from dynastic or even ibro's family. will they ever find peace again? we'll see it in the next episode [i'm lying]#maybe i should organize this in a post of its own#magnificent century#muhtesem yuzyil#mc1picspam4episode
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arundolyn · 2 months ago
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ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode
#crow.txt#the absolute levels of stress im under could create diamonds out of free floating carbon atoms my fucking god#can i have. Literally just one day of peace. just one!! fuck!!!!#at least now i have SOME validation from everyone else of shit that mom has honestly kinda always done#be absolutely furious and bitchy usually for no good goddamn reason and then immediately turn it off to look good in front of someone else#i had a feeling mom coming home was gonna be utterly miserable sooner rather than later#i literally cannot leave my room without her yelling for dad bc she thinks im him i guess. she has gotten him up like 4 times now#what the fuck do you want any of us to doooooooooooo. according to dad shes also just been really fucking hateful today#including to her SISTER who has been facilitating literally everything medically for her for the last month plus#like on one hand i know its hard and frustrating etc etc absolutely. on the other. what the fuck are you yelling at any of us for!#whatd we do! not a damn thing for the most part! holy shit im exhausted#and then im sure she will have the audacity to wonder why i dont really want to interact with her much rn#its very apparent she doesnt really understand whats going on or how much of anything works at this point including hospice care#but i truly cannot help you when your knee jerk response is to yell and be abusive. like. dads not been great either#bc hes also one to bitch and moan and yell abt shit. but like. so is mom. more than usual#and ill actually be damned if i let her treat me like that honestly ever again. like idk for once i can just#walk away from this behavior with zero consequences. i dont have to take it anymore. im not free but at least im fuckin closer than i was#guess my aunt wasnt kidding when she said her being coherent and rational last week might be the calm before the storm
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iamthecomet · 1 year ago
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Me with 100+ requests and unanswered asks : wouldn't it be cool if you got some slice of life/non sexual requests to write/talk about?
Also me, already overwhelmed by the sheer number of things waiting for me: *softly* no please.
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hershelwidget · 7 months ago
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IT'S EMMA ANGST HOURS
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you know, I've written an awful lot of female/feminine characters that are treated harshly or without respect from their male/masculine counterparts. Emma is probably the biggest example of this, where she, the "only girl" in her Gup group, is often scolded like she's a child or protected from the outside world because she's too "fragile" and "weak". boy I sure hope this doesn't mirror past experiences i've had as someone who's grown up as a girl and OH WAIT IT DOES
The most tragic part of it is, no matter how much Emma tries to hold her own, she's just not able to get to that level of independence that other characters like Rosemary and Polly have, or hell, even Dashi and Tweak from the actual source material
Emma's the most held-back character I've probably ever written, period, and ESPECIALLY the most held-back lady
She's held down by her own self-confidence some of the time, but most of that is direct result of the constant misogyny, babying, and general disrespect by the people she's closest to. Regardless of if them mean it or not, it's still disrespect
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fstbmp-a · 9 months ago
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This is probably the 20th time I've written this out (one for every day really) but. I know I said that by the end of the month I'd probably remake the blog, however
I think I'm putting the blog on an indefinite hiatus.
I know, that's the sentence that's said right before a blog ceases to exist forever, but something here just isn't clicking anymore. I'm not enjoying my time, despite my absolute best efforts. That something that made me enjoy my time here is gone and I can't replicate it just by brute forcing it anymore.
Maybe someday I'll be back, I do love this place, my characters, y'all's characters, etc. Though, for now, I think I need to stop lying to myself that I can just keep doing new things to suddenly bring back my interest for this place. It's not going to happen.
Thank y'all for all the fun we've had and, hey, maybe I'll be back sooner rather than later, maybe in a month, a week, etc. I could back down from this before the end of the week even. I just needed to put it out there that I think I'm burnt out here.
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nightmareonpeachstreet · 5 days ago
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I can’t tell you why I suddenly lose motivation/interest in games when a character I’ve been waiting for finally gets released, because I don’t know either, but it happens more often than I would like to admit
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nobodybetterlookatme · 16 days ago
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Wait I think I missed something in this incredible saga. Are you going on a date with the coworker??? I swear the last thing I saw was “no I would never” lmaoooo. If so, I (like the rest of snzblr) are anxious for updates about your love life. You’re one of the top snzblr couples now, enjoy 🤙
I did say I would never and I was a fucking liar apparently 😔 it's not technically a date tho bc I never told him it was bc I need to be so casual and mysterious ahdkaksk but it's a date To Me lmao. It's tomorrow tho bc we're still at work rn and it doesn't look like we're leaving anytime soon so at least I have that to look forward to I guess lmao
#not snz#we're not a couple tho nooooo 😭😭 lmaooo#it's just me being delusional#like he's literally not into me i stg i think y'all are gonna be more disappointed about the outcome than me#OH but he did hug me tho so I'm riding that high rn actually ahskamsk#lowkey have just been leaning against him half the shift but we've been watching videos and stuff together bc it's been slow so#that means nothing probably#also he looks at me like 😒 every time i ask one if my stupid little debate questions ahsakslsl#today was if ceral is a soup and if ketchup is a smoothie#please know that i ask these randomly literally out of nowhere like it's a normal thing to bring up lmaoooo#i have negative flirting skills ahdkaksk#this is the opposite of pulling a bad bitch by being autistic this is making the coworker question why he puts up with me lmaoooo#but he's the one who said yes to dinner so 😌#you know what he's never seen me in a cute little outfit before actually 👀#it's always been either the work uniform or hiking clothes#which to be fair my hiking clothes are kinda cute but they're hiking clothes nonetheless#like he saw me in normal clothes a bit ago but i was actively dying so they were just the most comfortable clothes i could find#so like maybe i can wear a skirt i have cute skirts i like wearing out with my bestie#and they're like. very specific kinds of skirts so maybe that'll tell him something ahskasmks#help why am i thinking so hard about this ahdkalslal#like it's literally actually not even a date it's just me flipping out for no reason while this guy is clueless 😭#like I'm telling y'all he's not into me and i don't understand why I'm being like this about it lmaoo#I'm always like 'fuck i wish my coworkers wouldn't crush on me to the point of asking me out that's awkward i don't date coworkers'#AND THEN I TURNED AROUND AND DID IT MYSELF#why am i like this#why am i so 👀 when he's one of the few people i shouldn't be 👀 at#i swear i should give it a couple months bc maybe I'm just feeling some type of way about him bc i was sick#but noooo i just HAVE to be insane about it now 😭#i should really have a tag for me being a pathetic wreck but idk what it would even be lmao#no matter he'll probably figure out that I'm being a freak sooner or later and shut that shit down so it won't matter 😔
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platihbm · 28 days ago
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sketch dump from the past week. + little kragg animation
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khytal · 2 years ago
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btw dark horse finally announced the trigun reprint B)
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lewmagoo · 4 months ago
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why do i have to do adult things. i am baby :(
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blizzardfluffykpop · 4 months ago
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why the fuck do i miss pigeons
#don't ask me i am going thru it today#ebhehbbehbhebhabh#i miss pigeons dude#oooh the poor little domesticed cuties#kate rambles from here#this is a small detail of the feeling i am feeling#like post leaving nyc is wrecking havoc on my psyche#i don't want to be in the fucking great plains#a few irls don't understand my want for city life- and i didn't know it was this bad until staying there for 4 days-#but my mom's whole family is from the city- i just feel so at home there- and everything i've inherited that way is in my blood#and i just wanna bawl my eyes out#i have been quite a bit but like ik i have a goal now- to move into the city- i've always had that goal to at least move to the city near m#but like nyc was like being somewhere i felt i wanted- it's not that i'm looking to make it big- i miss the noise the water and pigeons#around here you'll hear the occasional car go by- and crickets- i miss the city lights- i keep crying about it for so many reasons but#i just don't know how to actually express it?#because it's such an odd feeling for me to feel? because if yknow me well- i love being at home- i hate sleeping somewhere else-#taking a trip down south this last christmas- i couldn't stand the quiet- it's quieter the more south you go and i can't do this#i've always wanted to leave my small town but ?? like actually being somewhere that has felt home has been unattainable bc every#where in oh hasn't been home... and for once i felt like i could do this- and having to return here- just made me break down and cry#maybe it's the person i live with- that makes me wish to leave- but that's not the full truth- idk maybe a good nap will help#kate rambles#i have a life goal now but i wish i could do it now- i hope sooner rather than later i'll at least live in the city#i've been happily living but now i have a direction i wish to run towards- and i'm gonna chase after it#sure i miss seeing tbz i loved seeing them- but it's not even post concert depression- if that makes sense?#which it doesn't make sense- because for mx it was only pcd- but for nyc it's missing the city... and it feels awful#pls ignore this i just needed to be frustrated somewhere#ig knowing what i'm missing- i can finally work on filling that spot huh? i guess that's what i'll be doing#(also vv small point but the fact that one of the people i live with- refuses to ever visit nyc again- is so comforting to me)#pls don't send me an ask about this i just needed to ramble and i haven't caught up on my daily journal yet to do so- so this is here
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