#that’d be a very bad financial decision. but I do wanna follow through with trying

[nightmareonpeachstreet]

I can’t tell you why I suddenly lose motivation/interest in games when a character I’ve been waiting for finally gets released, because I don’t know either, but it happens more often than I would like to admit

[namjoontunes]

Lost and Found, Chapter Five

BTS Members x Reader

Genre: Fantasy AU, Fluff, Minor Angst

Warning: N/A

Word Count: 1.5k

Author’s Notes: What’s up it’s your favorite disaster and I am SO sorry it’s taken me so long to update! You guys have been really nice and supportive during my hiatus and hopefully I can start updating regularly, though I can’t really promise anything. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

AO3

Previous || Next

Prologue || Most Recent

“Tae, who’s this?”

Y/n was frozen, eyes staring in shock at Namjoon as all coherent thoughts fled her mind and left her speechless. Somehow in her excitement over Taehyung accepting her, she had forgotten that there were six other people she needed approval from. Now those six people were staring at her expectantly and she couldn’t even get herself to utter a simple hello.

Besides her, Taehyung stood up from the couch, and Y/n was glad she had enough sense left to follow his lead. As she got to her feet she clung to his arm, partly to hide behind him a bit and partly just to hold onto something solid as she felt herself edging closer towards panic. He stared at her for a moment, expecting her to say something, but the look on her face was enough to tell him he’d have to do the talking here.

“Guys, this is Y/n. Y/n, you already know the guys.” Tae said, placing his hand over hers as he introduced her.

“She... already knows us? How?” Namjoon asked, looking taken aback by Tae’s statement.

“That’s kind of creepy…” Jungkook whispered to Jimin, who nodded in response. The two were quick to look apologetic however as Tae shot them a dirty look and they realized their side conversation wasn’t as quiet as they thought.

“Well… you remember how last week we were joking about Mittens being a shapeshifter? Turns out we weren’t exactly wrong…” Taehyung explained, and Y/n focused her eyes on the ground.

There was no response at first, the boys staring blankly as they tried to process what Tae said. It was a lot to take in and she understood that, but as the silence dragged on Y/n felt like she was suffocating in it. She held tighter onto Tae’s arm as if it were the only thing keeping her from drowning.

Just when she was sure the whole world had gone silent, the stillness was broken by a sudden cacophony of voices. With all of them talking at once she couldn’t understand a word of what they were saying or if they were angry or not, only that they were loud. The explosion of noise was startling enough for her to jump and hide herself almost completely behind Tae.

After a few moments of chaos, Namjoon’s voice rang out above the others. “HEY! Everyone be quiet for a second!” The noise died down almost immediately as everyone looked to Namjoon expectantly. “Alright, I know we probably all have a lot to say and lots of questions but let’s not overwhelm the poor girl by all talking at once. Jin, you’re oldest, you go first.”

Jin glanced and Namjoon, and then at Y/n, before speaking. “I am… so sorry for scaring you the other night I didn’t actually think… If I had known…” His voice trailed off, and Y/n could see the guilt written clearly on his face.

“It’s okay!” Y/n reassured him, leaving her hiding spot behind Taehyung to try to make it seem like she wasn’t scared, even if she really was. “Please don’t feel bad. I thought you were gonna say something a lot worse that’s why I was scared. I don’t mind doing dish duty, really!” She gave him her biggest smile, hoping it would ease his guilt. She didn’t want anyone feeling bad because of her, especially since that conversation was actually what had led her to the current moment, one she wouldn’t trade for anything.

Jin looked like he was going to say something else but was quickly cut off by Yoongi. “So how do we know that you’re Mittens and not some stranger? I mean I don’t know why you’d lie about being our cat but I just wanna make sure.”

“Actually I can vouch for her!” Taehyung chimed in. “She knew a lot about me that she probably couldn’t have known unless she had lived here, plus she showed me how she changes between shapes.” He gave her a reassuring smile, and she repaid it with a grateful one of her own.

“Wow!” Jungkook exclaimed. “Can you show us how you change? Does it take a lot of energy? How d-”

“Hey! You’re the youngest wait your turn, we’re trying to make sure this is at least a little organized,” Yoongi scolded.

“Sorry,” Jungkook said, not looking sorry in the slightest. He seemed the most excited by far, bouncing slightly on his feet as he waited impatiently for his turn to speak.

“What I was going to say before I was rudely interrupted,” Yoongi continued, shooting Jungkook a dirty look, “is why didn’t you tell us sooner then? I mean, I’m not mad at you or anything, I just… did we seem like bad people?”

“No, no, no! That wasn’t it at all!” Y/n reassured, feeling like the only thing she had managed to do so far in this conversation is make people feel bad. “The only reason I’m telling you guys now, and really the only reason I approached you guys in the first place is how kind you guys seem. I… I’ve met a lot of people who don’t like shapeshifters… and when I first met you guys I really needed help so I didn’t want to risk you guys turning me away… and… and then afterwards… I really got to know you guys and… I didn’t want to see you angry at me…”

The boys went quiet again, though this time out of sympathy rather than shock. She saw Jungkook frown before speaking, “Of course we’re not mad, that’d be stupid. You did the smart thing.” He turned towards the others before speaking again. “She’s staying, right?”

They seemed just as surprised as her by his matter-of-fact attitude, and they all turned their eyes from Y/n to him.

“Maybe we should talk this over before deciding?” Namjoon suggested hesitantly, glancing at the other boys to see how they were reacting to Jungkook’s declaration.

Jungkook looked doubtful as he turned back to Y/n. “You don’t have anything to go back to, right? Why else would you have stayed for so long.”

“Well, I mean I can figure stuff out I’ve been doing fine you don’t have to worry ab-”

Jungkook waved his hand to cut her off, “Listen to me: double bunk beds. Not like on top of each other but like two sets of bunk beds it’ll be so cool come on I’ll show you my room.”

The dragon boy took her hand and led a very confused Y/n down the hallway, totally forgetting that she had been living there for the past month.

The other six stood in baffled silence. Jungkook had never been insistent on making decisions for the group before, but he seemed pretty dead-set on making sure Y/n stayed. Though it was unexpected, Tae was glad he had at another person 100% on Y/n’s side, and turned to the others. “So, does anyone object to her staying? I know eight is kind of a lot of people but… I think out of everyone that’s showed up here, she’s probably the most in need of a home.”

“Yeah that’s fine with me but what’s up with Jungkook? It took us months to get him to open up to us but he’s known Y/n for all of five minutes and he’s already super friendly with her,” Jin complained.

“Maybe he thinks she’s cute,” Hobi teased.

“Technically we’ve all known her for more than a month now,” Namjoon pointed out.

“Yeah but that doesn’t mean we know anything about her,” Yoongi said. “We don’t know how old she is, where she came from, or how she got hurt in the first place.”

“Actually Y/n told me a lot about her past before you guys came home, it’s not really my story to tell but…” Tae paused, trying to find the words to convince them without saying more about Y/n than he should. “She’s been through a lot. I really think she deserves to have somewhere where she can feel safe, and I think we can be that for her. Like I said I know eight is a lot of people to live with but unless Jimin minds she can stay in our room and I could look for another job if we don’t have the money… but I really think she should stay with us.”

There was a beat of silence before Hobi spoke up, “Well she’s already been living with us for a month, I see no reason to kick her out now.”

The rest of the group murmured in agreement, and a huge smile grew on Tae’s face.

“So she can stay?” he asked.

“Yeah I think it’d be cruel not to let her stay at this point. I mean, she’s already basically a part of the family, we just have to get to know this new side of her,” Namjoon said, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

“We’re actually in a pretty decent spot financially right now, so adding one more person isn’t going to be a huge deal,” Yoongi commented.

“I’m okay with sharing our room, as long as she doesn’t mind being in a room with three boys,” Jimin added.

“Alright,” Jin began, clapping his hands together, “so who wants in on the shopping trip tomorrow?”

[theparaminds]

Independency in the music industry is possibly the greatest challenge an artist can take on, to keep themselves on track and work with what’s available to create something special is an entire talent on its own. For 17 year old Victor, this is just a daily occurrence.

Making music out of his bedroom with whatever is available to him, Victor has created a landscape of soft and soothing tracks which he hopes will empower those who share the same roots as he does, as well as the social hardships he’s overcome. 

Paramind has had the unique opportunity to speak with Victor, not only on himself, but also about his story, fans and one of a kind sound. 

Paramind: First question as always, how's your day going?

Victor: My day is going well. I woke up at 6am to shower and I went back to bed and finished a few episodes of Law and Order. My room was cold so I had the heat on blast and ended up falling asleep again until 1pm. I might go to Dave and Busters later with my best friend, Julian.

PM: To begin at the starting of your musical journey, where would you say the decision to take music seriously came from, and more so, what influences in your childhood affect this moment?

V: My decision to take music seriously was a product of stress and boredom. I just woke up one day and said, “hey, fuck it, if I can make trap beats for my friends I can make beats for myself”. It's funny because the first song that I ever put out was so bad, yet people messaged me everywhere encouraging me to "make more please" and "this shit slaps". The song was probably a minute and a half in length and it was called "Run". I released the song last summer in a Facebook video, which was just a Sailor Moon gif of Usagi running, hence the song title, "Run". While the song was definitely one of my worst, I can't deny that I had fun making it. That pushed me to start making more. As far as childhood influences go, I owe a lot of this to my family which is made up of musicians left and right. My mom was lead pop singer in a Mexican band called "Ecstasis", they made a lot of synth-pop. My dad and his entire family are made up of mariachi music and gigs. My uncle is a worship leader at my local church. A lot of this is just experience that I grew up with and learned from.

PM: Would you say you were normal growing up? If so, do you wish you had strayed outside the box more, and if not, what did being an outsider teach you?

I was not normal at all. My close friends will know this and I always bring it up, but I grew up in a very religious household. My parents met at church and at some point they led the worship team there. I wasn't allowed to listen to any music with labels "explicit" or "dirty" on it. I remember using Limewire on my dad's computer and I remember he'd get worked up when he saw me downloading "explicit" music. My mom wouldn't let me watch certain TV shows. She hated Dexter's Laboratory because he'd say "stupid" a lot and in retrospect, she didn't want me picking up foul language which I understand now. Although I do wish my parents would've let me explore as a kid, I am grateful that I wasn't "normal". I was never the cool kid growing up so I didn't feel the need to try and fit in with anyone. I'd just do me and to this day that's how it's always been.

PM: You display very proudly that your roots are Mexican-American, acknowledging its importance into your sound, with a growing number of artists such as Cuco and Omar Apollo doing the same. Leading to the question of what is the importance of representing your heritage in your music and allowing it to influence your sound, especially in the world we're living in currently?

V: Being a Mexican-American boy has always been hard for me. My first language is Spanish, so up until the third grade, I was in ESL classes. Fortunately for me, I'm a fast learner so I picked up English quickly. My accent was not the best though, so all the white kids (I was living in the suburbs) would make fun of me when I mispronounced something. For a long time I would feel ashamed of being Mexican and I would feel embarrassed whenever my parents spoke Spanish in front of my friends in fear of getting made fun of. Looking back now it was so stupid but I feel that a lot of people like me went through it. We eventually lost our suburban home and moved out to Little Village, Chicago. The majority of Little Village is Hispanic, so I went to school with a bunch of brown kids and I think that is when I felt more comfortable with myself. After stumbling upon Cuco on the internet one day, I remember feeling cool. I thought to myself, "People can sing in Spanglish like this? Over synth-pop beats?" People like Omar Banos make me feel proud to be Mexican and I think that brown kids deserve opportunities in every industry and place.  This encourages me to speak about my heritage. It's who I am. I wanna represent those Little Village kids. I wanna represent my family. My parents are immigrants and although they split and I'm living with my mom now, I still worry about them both and pray that they don't get taken or some shit. I'd be so bummed. No one should live in fear of their parents being taken away. The evil of this world gets stronger but music is my family's anchor and that's what I will always hold on to.

PM: You also work with no management team or label backing, what surprise positives have you found in that route?

V: I had something like a "personal manager" for a few months, my friend Sydnie Giles. We're both juniors in high school right now, and she's planning on a music business career. She'd help me by writing out emails and offering advice. She wasn't hired or anything (we're both broke high school students) but her passion for music drove her to help me out and encourage my growth as a solo artist. Besides that, I've had no real management or label reach out to me or "pick me up". I remember being on the phone with Omar Apollo a week or two ago and we had a small discussion about management. That discussion was a wake up call for me, and I decided to stop working with Sydnie for now (we are still close friends and it ended on good terms). I've found in having no management or label are that I have full creative control and I don't have to follow any schedule. In other words, I am able to work on my own time and I get to keep any profit that I make. I'm also able to put together my own team and that means that when I win, my friends win as well. It feels good to be doing this at 17.

PM: Now before we can talk about your music, It's always good to know where it comes from, so what have been your biggest musical influences and how have they changed you?

V: It's difficult to point out influences when you're constantly influenced by everything around you. I listen to Blonde at least three times a day, but it doesn't make me want to get up and work on a new song. Sometimes my friend will tell me about her boy problems and that will strike up a song. Sometimes I'll be scrolling through my camera roll and admire my girlfriend for like fifteen minutes. That will make me get up and write a song. I don't really have big musical influences, but I do enjoy listening to Omar Apollo, Frank Ocean, Michael Seyer, and HOMESHAKE. These are all people I look up to as artists and I have many more. I find that my friendships shape me more than anything else.

PM: Who do you hope to inspire with your music and what do you want your legacy to be 200 years from now?

V: I hope to inspire the kids with broken computers and broken families. I've been through a lot of shit but it hasn't stopped me from creating and doing the things that I love most. You don't need a studio to make bangers. It's okay if your family is financially unstable. It's okay if your dad isn't around. It's okay if you're not poppin' at school. Do what you gotta do and pour your heart into it. My legacy in 200 years? Shit, I don't know. I don't know if I'll make it that big for people to remember me 200 years from now. I know what I want 200 years from now to look like, though. I just wanna see more brown kids making cool shit. This alternative pop scene is whitewashed and I hope more brown kids show out. Use whatever resources you have. Steve Lacy started with just an iPhone. I started with a Gateway desktop computer someone at church passed down to me. You can get it done if you work hard.

PM: Onto your music, you have cultivated an aesthetic of a striped back sound and lyricism, does this come at all from the way you make music and the resources available to you?

V: I'm always telling people, "I just make the shit I'd listen to" but that's the biggest lie I've ever told. I actually don't like listening to my voice in songs, it's weird. Would I rather teleport or fly? I don't know, I think teleportation would be cooler. I'm always late to things so this would help a lot. Unless I accidentally teleport to school in nothing but my Calvin Kleins. That'd be so stupid.

PM: Do you think there's been a shift to a diy approach to music such as yours? And if so, why?

V: This shift is stupid. People have turned a real life struggle into a musical genre. "Bedroom pop" is what they call it. Really, it's just a bunch of kids with cracked softwares making what they can. Borrowed microphones, cheap VST's, all that shit. None of this is intentional, I just find comfort in my bedroom and I don't have money for studio time. Would I still go to a studio if I had the money? Probably not. In my room, I can eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch while working on a track. You can't do that in a professional studio. I like the fact that I can make an entire album from my bedroom.

PM: Do you think if given the chance, you would become more studio based and label managed?

V: I like being independent. I don't think I'm ready for contracts and paperwork. I'm only 17. I'm actually looking for a job right now, I might check out Panera. I heard they were hiring and they have cool discounts for employees. Again, if I could work in a studio, I probably wouldn't. It depends. I like working by myself. It's just me and my thoughts, it feels cute and intimate. I do need a manager though with a lot of money. If you qualify, please hit me up. I don't have money but I can make you trap remixes of your favorite songs.

PM: Do you believe you'll have to innovate your sound to continue to stay as popular, or is that growth not always necessary?

V: Honestly I'm just going to keep making whatever sounds good to me. Chris Brown has been making the same shit for years now and he's still popping. 57-track album, nothing groundbreaking in there but some of his singles went gold/platinum. I don't wanna be pretentious and try reinventing a genre or some shit like that. If it hits me, I'll just do it naturally. I don't go into working on music with these things in mind. It's usually a very natural process for me. I trust myself.

PM: But finally, what is the core element to Victor that will have to stay even through change, what can't ever be lost if you are to still be yourself through the musical journey you're embarking on?

V: Good taste. I have good taste and I feel that I don't get enough credit for that! You have artists that make music solely for the people. They make shit that the masses wanna hear. You have artists that are genuine and do their thing. I'm a good balance of both. I know what the people want, but I don't always give it to them. I enjoy experimenting with different genres and trying new things out. At the end of the day, I have good taste and if I want to try something new, I'll make it work so that everybody can enjoy at least one part of my work.

PM: Do you have anyone/anything you'd like to shout out to promote? Do you have any projects coming soon? the floor is all yours!

V: I grew up without any older siblings or cousins to look up to, so shout out to Omar Apollo and Holladay. Whether the feeling is mutual or not, Omar has inspired me from the No Pulp days and I used to idolize him (low-key). Since we became friends, I've been constantly amazed by his work and impact on the community. He is that older sibling to me and I appreciate him. Holladay, for being passionate about the brown community and always talking about this idea of "passing it down". He's done a lot for me by putting me on although we are miles away and I will forever be grateful for his efforts. Shout out Blake Saint David for giving me a chance and giving me my first show ever. Shout out my best friend Andrea Reyes for doing my cover art and always supporting me when she doesn't have to. Shout out Omar Banos (Cuco) for retweeting my song and giving me a small platform. Lastly, shout out to my amazing partner and best friend in the world, Brenda Millan. My girlfriend is a huge part of who I am and she is always pushing me to do my best. I love that we can support each other's work and root each other on. I love my friends, fans and I love the internet.

Check out Victor: 

Victor’s EP

Instagram and Twitter

Follow Paramind on Instagram and twitter

Victor’s friends:

Andrea Reyes 

Omar Apollo

Holladay 

Blake Saint David