#now is a great time to get this if yall want it
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A Future Rewritten
Summary: After years of dreaming of parenthood, Y/n and Nanami face the devastating loss of their first pregnancy. The grief threatens to consume their relationship as Y/n struggles with feelings of guilt and inadequacy while Nanami fights to hold their bond together.
TW: Miscarriages, infertility, mention of alcoholism, and depression episodes
A/n: This is my first angst-like fanfic so please don’t be too harsh and my first JJk fanfic🥲
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Both of y’all went to the doctor to see if there wer anything wrong that could affect yall fertility. The results came out great for Nanami. However for you, it said that you might be struggling with fertility issues. Doctor explained that it’s not impossible, but it will take a while longer for you to conceive. Feeling upset at the news, you try different herbs and positions that could increase your chance but nothing seems to work.
It became more difficult when friends and family would have get together and their children would be around playing in blissful innocence that they still have. There was one time where Gojo brought his son, and for some odd reason he was following Nanami around all day and your husband eventually gave in a play with him and even carried him on his back. That moment has you feeling so much pride but sadness because you couldn’t give him a baby. (It’s all your fault)
One morning, you woke up and immediately went to the bathroom and puke your gut out. This was abnormal, especially since you didn’t eat much of anything for dinner. Nanami knock on the door.
“Sweetheart, is everything alright?” He asked with concern in voice.
You flush the toilet and wash your hand and brush your teeth. “Everything good! Just needed to go to bathroom.” You chuckles, trying to play it off.
He doesn’t buy it one bit, he knows when you’re lying. He sighed” Okay but if you’re not feeling well, please tell me.”
“I will!” Nanami back up from the door and walked away.
You hate lying to him but you don’t want him to worry right now. You soon get ready for work and leave the house. Throughout the day, all you could think about is the vomit, but then you get a notification on your phone that says your cycles is 5 days late. Okay this is a sign!
After work, you when to the drugstore and went home. Luckily Nanami was still at work so you took the opportunity to take three pregnancy tests. You waited for 5 minutes. Those five minutes were the longest time you felt. Anticipated and nervous for the results. The timer went off and you decided to look.
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Nanami comes home with takeout from your favorite restaurant. He shouted out your name to announce he’s home. You slowly come out of the hallway with both of your hands behind your back.
“Hey love I brought yo-…….what’s behind your back?”He quickly noticed how you were standing. He look around you to see if he get a peep but you dogged his attempts.
You had a big grin on your face as you were too excited. You show him the pregnancy test with two big bold lines. Nanami looks and his eyes begin to widen as the realization hits him.
“You’re…..pregnant?” A smile and excitement creep on his face.
You eagerly nodded your head and before you could say anything, Nanami pick you up and hug you tightly.
“We’re gonna be parents!!!!” He chanted loudly. You laugh at his excitement. This was the best news he could get all year! He slowly put you down to look at you.
“I’m so happy to be a father and to have you as the mother of my children.” He caressed you gently and put his hand on your stomach.
“I can’t wait to meet you little guy.”
The next few months was full of restfulness and excitement for the arrival of the baby. Nanami has ordered many pregnancy books and preparation for the baby as you’ve been dealing with the occasional nausea and fatigue and sickness that comes with the first trimester of pregnancy. You two were at every appointment making sure that the pregnancy was going well and that the baby was progressing successfully.
On the 12th week, Yall had went to the appointment for an ultrasound to see the baby. Y’all were very excited to see the little one and to see how they were growing in your belly and any updates that you two need to know. The nurse happily lead you guys to the room, place you down on the bed by the ultrasound screen and put the cold gel on your stomach as she put the wand onto the stomach and begin moving around to see the baby. You and your husband hold each other hand excited to see the baby not knowing what was to come. The nurse who once looked at the screen once with a smiley, happy face turn into a very neutral expression on expression.
The nurse looked at you two and told you “I’ll be right back.” She left and you two were wondering what was going on y’all waited a few minutes and then the doctor came in and told you the heartbreaking news.
“I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Nanami but it appears that we could not have found a heartbeat we checked again and there are no sign of life.”
You two look at each other in shock at the new, not wanting to believe what the doctor is saying.
“What are you trying to say?” You didn’t comprehend what she’s saying, or rather what you don’t want to comprehend.
The doctor sighed as she basically realized she has to say the difficult part, “I’m saying you have miscarriage at 12 weeks.”
Hearing those words come out the doctor’s mouth of the room to be muffled and silence as the two you just looked at each other, not knowing how to express or what to say. The doctor explained that it was nothing that you have done and miscarriages commonly happen in the first trimester. All you could think inside your head was ‘what did I do? What’s wrong with me? How could I let this happen? Could I prevented this?!’ You asking these questions over and over again in your mind.
Nanami see that you space out and called you, “Honey? You okay?”
You snapped out and continue listening to the doctor.
The doctor continues explaining that it is possible to try again later down the line.
Y’all came to the hospital with a baby and now leaving without it. They induced your labor to get the baby and the placenta out. It was painful and caused discomfort for you and Nanami.
After the surgery, you was prescribed with medication to make sure everything clears out of your uterus and to make sure there are no complications after the miscarriage. you inform your job about a medical emergency and you need to have a week off from work.
Nanami drove you both home, the car drive was filled with silent. You put your purse on the table and just sat down on the couch looking down at the floor. You try to hold your stomach with a small bump that was once forming is no longer there. Nanami sat right beside you holding your hand, trying to come for you the best way he can. He’s processing the pain too but knows that it’s harder for you since you were carrying the baby.
“Do you wanna talk about this?” He ask you, he cares about you. He wants the best for you to make sure that everything is okay, but instead of just talking about it and spread your feelings, you shut down how can you be a wife? You can’t even give your partner a child
“What do you want to dinner?” You blurred out , not wanting to talk about the event that just happened back at the hospital no, we look so confused. Why are you not talking to him? You literally just had a miscarriage?! Nanami can see the way the pain as you look at the ground and knew that you didn’t wanna talk about it right then and there, so he just went along with it to make peace at the moment.
“I’ll take care of dinner. You don’t have to worry about cooking dinner.” He answer you with his soft tone, you nodded your head. “Okay, I’ll be in the bathroom.” You get up the couch and wash and left and went to the bathroom.
Once you close the door, all the tears that accumulated all day when the moment you got the news just start pouring out. You just sobbing as tears cover your face and cheeks. You’re a mess. You don’t know how to process this. When you thought you finally got a break and finally gonna be a mother. It was taken away from me just like that.
What was wrong with me? What? Why can’t I carry a baby in my stomach??
The week that you was off from work, you just laid in bed in silence. You did not eat sleep or eat or drink anything. The only time you got up really was to use the restroom. Sure you wash your face from time to time but other than that you did not do nothing, you barely even shower. The only reason you somehow survived is what because your husband cooked dinner and semi forced you to come down to eat dinner with him.
he tried to talk to you about the miscarriage, he wanted you to talk about it. He did not blame you for what happened. he blaming you for losing the baby. He mad at you cannot how can you be a good wife if you cannot give him a child what’s wrong with you?
Why it is so hard for me, but not for other women that’s all you could think about in your mind. Every second will consume of the miscarriage in the could’ve been and would’ve been and everything around it. You hated yourself for it, you failed as a woman, partner, and mother.
One night in bed , you were up looking at the ceiling just thinking about everything that happened. Kento saw that you wasn’t sleeping ”are you OK? You can’t sleep?” You look over to your right at him. “No, I’m not really tired right now.” He sighed, he knew why you’re up. He knows that you are too hard on yourself right now. “You know I’m not mad at you right?” You look away from him. You want to believe him you really do but all you can think of your mind is the opposite.
he’s gonna leave you for someone who can give him a child.
That’s all you can think about all that you worry about you turned your back at him “I’m going to Sleep. You have a good night.”
Nanami was shocked by your behavior. you never turn your back on him. But he wasn’t gonna give up on you. He pulled you close, with your back towards his chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He whispered in your ear “I love you.” before he try to go to asleep.
The week you return from work, you put a mask on for your coworkers and carry on with your work and project that you had missed out like nothing happened. despite the effort, you were still thinking about the pregnancy at home, but at work all you can think about what project deadline, reports, and meetings.
You bury yourself in work, helping every project in the company and contribute to many groups around the department that you were in. Your supervisor ask if you want to stay a little later to finish the report and you happily answered yes. anything to not be at home and think about the miscarriage anything to not go home and be a disappointment to your husband at least at work you are something here. A somebody with purpose. Somebody who accomplish a lot of things here.
The next few weeks, all you did was work and overtime, work and overtime, work and overtime.
You’d come home exhausted from work and became close friends with your wine cellar. Indulging on a few glasses of wines and cocktails every other day after working overtime. That feeling of intoxication and praise at work helped block out the depress thoughts, even if it was for a couple hours.
After finishing a huge project at work, your team decided to go out and celebrating with drinks. At the bar, you were laughing and talking with the few coworkers you enjoyed spending time with. Y’all were having a good time and even offer Sasha, one of your colleagues and good friends, a drink. Normally she’d accept it but she shook her head.
“Not tonight. I’m not allowed to drink for the next few months.” She explained as her hands is placed on her belly. The whole team look at Sasha surprised but soon follow up with excitement. Many congrats her and ask about the baby. As those conversations were happening, you couldn’t help but think about your own pregnancy and how far along the baby would’ve been by now. You’d been 7-8 months along.
You congrat Sasha, paid for your tabs and quickly called it a night. But that didn’t stop the drinking. You went to the liquor store and got some Taylor Port and Patron. You made it home around 9:35 pm and immediately pour yourself a glass and chugged it. You pour yourself another glass when a voice behind you spoke.
“You’re drinking again?” He look you at very distressed. He seen the way you been acting the last few months and it’s getting worse.
“Yeah so what?” You replied as your mouth touch the glass with the alcohol entering your throat.
Nanami was tired. You come home late, smelling like liquor and being borderline drunk every other day was getting old and fast. He walked up to you and grabbed your glass.
“What the fuck?! Give it back!”
“No, I’m tired of seeing you like this (Y/n). Coming home late and drinking is not healthy and it’s not you!”
“So what?! It’s not like I’m hurting anyone.” You protest.
“You’re hurting me! And more importantly you’re hurting yourself! You can’t continue on like this. This is not the woman I married.”
Taking his word the wrong way you blurred out “Well go find another bitch who’d give you everything you want!”
Nanami look at you stunned by your words. Before he could say anything, you continued with slurring your words.
“Maybe you should end things with me, find another woman who will give you ALL the kids and babies you want instead of being with one who couldn’t even carry one in their first trimester.” As you yelled out, tears begin to form in your (e/c) eyes. You already imagine in your mind that he’d leave you, find someone else, marry her and have a family. A family with beautiful children. A family that doesn’t include you.
Silent was the only thing that was heard in the kitchen. Nanami spoke out softly, “Sweetheart…….,” as he walked closer towards you.
You just lost it. All the months of holding it in secret and emotional turmoil just came out as tears fall against your face. Nanami quickly held you tightly as you begin to cry out in his arms.
“What the fuck is wrong with me?!”
“Hey hey, it’s okay-“
You abruptly cut him off “No it’s not! For two fucking years we’ve been trying to get pregnant. Over and over again all because I have a hard time getting pregnant! And I one time I did I fucked up and lost our baby!”
He stood there holding you as you vented out everything you’ve been feeling. This was a long time coming.
“I’m sorry I failed you…..” Your voice cracked as you spoke. Nanami look at you disappointed. Not at you, but at himself and how he wishes he tried harder to get you to open up sooner.
“Y/n, you can’t blame yourself for this. I hate seeing you blaming yourself for something that isn’t your fault whatsoever.” You continue to sob as Nanami gently grab your chin to make you look at him.
“Look at me, you are strong, intelligent, and beautiful person inside and out. Our next pregnancy will be stronger and better. And you’ll be one hell of a mother.”
“But…..what if I never get pregnant again Kento. It took me years for just one. I know how much you desire to be a father……and I’m scared that we’ll separate because of—“
“Don’t.” He paused you. You look up at him confused and still upset.
“I don’t care if it takes two years, twenty years, or even if it never happens, Y/n. You are who I envision as the mother of my children, but more than that—you are my everything. If we can’t have children, I’ll still feel complete, because I have you. I see you in every vision of my future, holding my hand, laughing with me, growing old with me. Children or no children, you are my home and my forever. I’m not going anywhere, Y/n. Not now, not ever.”
You soon get overwhelmed with emotions from his speech. Sure he has said many heartfelt words before but this one is definitely up there. You buried yourself into his chest as you continue to cried out in sob with a soft “Kento….”
Y’all stay in position for a while, embracing each other after a long time since the miscarriage. Tonight has helped you two beginning to understand the importance of being vulnerable again. You two don’t know what to expect in the future ,but you guys know that regardless of it y’all have each other and that will be enough.
#nanami kento#jjk nanami#nanami x reader#fanfic#jujutsu kaisen#jjk kento#nanami x fem!reader#nanami angst
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Born Too Late - Chapter 5
pairing/au: neighbor!joel x reader // no outbreak
Warnings: MDNI!!! SMUT (2 chapters in a row :0.. So much for slow burn), age gap, no use of y/n, i think thats it fr, dirty talk, unprotected p in v (be smart yall, wrap it up) lemme know if i missed something :)
Summary: Sarah's conference is this week and seeing Joel is not on your list of things you want to do. Then he invites you over to talk. You need to set the boundary now, what could go wrong? (1.6k+)
a/n: i tried to write a lil more than usual bc i feel bad about inconsistent posting. (shoutout no personal life bc work/school) hopefully with winter break i can post a couple times a week. also trying to figure out how to make a taglist so if you want to be notified of new chapters, lmk!! If you have any suggestions, give em to a girl. i love to see/hear feedback :) <3
Yet again, you’re avoiding Joel like the plague. You have an unknown amount of missed calls from him. You also have conferences today. This means you have to see him, and you feel like you could throw up. He’s your last one at 5:30 p.m. The day goes by slowly, and you have lunch duty so you don’t have time to finish planning your conference notes. After lunch is the worst part of the day. Kids are tired and barely give a shit, but you have a couple good ones that you try to focus on. Sarah being one of them. The 2:30 bell rings and by 2:40 your class is empty. Conferences start at 3:30 so you finish your notes and try to eat your lunch but that sinking feeling is still there.
By 5:15, you’ve talked to so many parents that they’re all starting to blur. You’re exhausted and would rather be quite literally anywhere else by now. You gather Sarah's notes and sit them on the table, one stack in front of you and a copy of your stack in front of where Joel will sit. Sarah really enjoys a select few books from your classroom library so you sit them on her desk for her in case she's with Joel.
Before you see him, you smell him. The air in your classroom fills with hints of cedarwood and lavender. You look up and Sarah is already at her desk looking at the books. You stand to greet Joel. “Good Evening Mr. Miller” you reach to shake his hand but he doesn't move, he is staring right through you. “Sweet girl, you don't have to call me that.” He says, still staring. You smile and invite him to sit. “So” you start “Sarah is doing phenomenal, she loves to read and write, and is always very engaged. I pulled a few samples of her writings from the last couple weeks so you could read them. They’re the first sheets inside your fold-” “Babygirl” he says gruffly “I know my daughter, and she has excelled and exceeded every year. I'm here for you. Why have you been avoiding me?” You look at him, wide eyed. Half wanting to laugh and half wanting to cry. Your door is open and anyone could walk by and hear him, Sarah could hear him. “Joel I promise I'm not trying to avoid you” you say quietly, lying straight through your teeth. And he knows it. You stand up and walk to close the door and can feel his eyes burning through you. “I just dont think-” “I've called you more times than I can count, and you aint returned a single one. Shit baby, your bra is still on my bedroom floor. Taunting me every night.” You can feel the warmth begin to rise on your face, and between your legs. “Mr.Miller, now is not the time or the place for this conversation. If we could please get back to Sarah.” He looks at you, deadpan. “Alright, come to my house tomorrow night at 8. Sarah will be with her mom for the weekend.” Internally, you groan. Externally, “Yes sir”. You watch him stir in his chair at your words, repositioning himself.
The rest of the conference goes well, Sarah reads some of her writings to her dad, and shows him her favorite books. He asks her so many questions about her work and she is extremely detailed in every answer. He seems like a great dad, and it puts him in a different light for you. Now he isn't only hot, and great at sex, and great at aftercare, but he's a good dad. You are so fucked.
Friday comes and goes, yet again you're exhausted. You take a steaming shower when you get home. Shaving your legs, just because. NOT for Joel. Once out of the shower, you change into a pair of blue biker shorts and an oversized Texans crewneck. You throw your hair up in a bun and make yourself some coffee. Hoping the coffee will help combat the sleepiness, you throw yourself onto the couch and turn on some Grey's Anatomy reruns, and begin to drift into a nap. You try to fight it, but it's inevitable.
You wake up to your phone ringing. You check the time. 8:17. “Shit” you grumble. You flip your phone open without even checking the caller ID. “Hello?” you say, groggily. “There's my sweet girl.” He says, pausing briefly. “You’re late. Better get here fast, dinners gonna be cold.” And before you can get a word out, Joel hangs up. “Fuck fuck FUCK.” You say, frustratedly. This has gone too far, and god forbid your work gets wind of this disaster. You’d be screwed. You throw your shoes on and walk next door.
Joel opens the door right as you walk up the steps. The smells instantly take you back to that morning. You still remember how he felt inside you, how his lips felt on yours, how his hand fit around your neck so perfectly how- “You gonna come in or you just gon’ stand there?” Joel snaps you out of your trance. You follow him the rest of the way in, kicking your shoes off at the door this time. “I made spaghetti with garlic bread. Stuck it in the oven to stay warm since you tried to stand me up.” He says, grinning. “Joel look” you start, “I really appreciate this, and I really had a” “Sit down and eat. We can talk after.” He says, pulling a chair out. He walks around to the fridge, opening the door. You can't stop staring at him. His shoulders so broad, and biceps borderline busting out of his shirt. You’re in a trance. “Red or white?” he says, but you don't hear him. You’re too busy eye fucking him, completely forgetting that the only reason you’re here is to end this before it starts. He turns around and sees you still looking straight through him, undressing him with your eyes. He grins a devilish grin and you snap back to reality. “Huh? Sorry I was-” “No need to explain, I asked if you wanted red or white wine?” he says, grinning “Oh.. ummm.. White please!” He sits the glass next to you, along with your plate of food.
Dinner goes well, you talk about Sarah and how great of a student she is. You realize Joel could go on and on about her, because he does. Before you know it, its 10:00 and you're fighting sleep again. But this conversation needs to happen. You gather the plates and wine glasses and begin doing the dishes. “Darlin’ don't worry about those. I can do them in the morning.” “Joel, we need to talk.” You say, hoping it doesn't come off too harsh. You turn the sink off and dry your hands. “Joel, I had a lot of fun a few weeks ago. But I don’t think-” he cuts you off. “Why’re you thinkin’ baby? Thinkin’ don’t never lead to nothin’ good.” He says, wrapping his hands around your waist. As much as you don’t want to, you lean into his grip. “Joel, please.” you almost moan. “I don’t want to get in trouble at work, it's a huge ethical misconduct if the school were to ever find out, especially since Sarah is in my class.” He’s kissing up your neck, and you aren't doing anything to stop him. “I just want to taste you, just one more time.” He groans into your ear, nibbling on the tip. “This has to be the last time.” you think to yourself.
You don't fight it, you give in. And you enjoy every second of it. Joel picks you up and lays you on the table. The same table you just had dinner on. Your shorts are thrown across the room and your sweatshirt is being used as back support. He’s devouring every inch of your body. Leaving bite marks in unseen places. You hear his belt hit the floor and watch his shirt peel off of his body. You moan at the sight. He lines himself up with your aching cunt. “What was all that earlier about you gettin’ in trouble at work?” he says, comically. “Joel, please not-” and before you can squeak the rest of your sentence out, he's ramming his cock inside you. Over and over. “What's wrong baby? Can’t speak?” he says, laughing. Hes fucking you so hard that the goddamn table is moving. “I need something more stable.” He grunts, picking you up and throwing you on the island, his cock never leaving inside of you. He rubs vigorous circles around your clit, watching your eyes roll into the back of your head. “Dont. Stop. Joel.” You manage to say in between breaths. “I don’t ever plan to babygirl.” He says, rubbing faster. Your release is on the horizon. Everythings gone white and all you can focus on is the sound of skin slapping skin. Your back arches and you scream with pleasure. “Let it out babygirl, cum for me.” Just as you begin to come down, you feel Joel's cock tense up inside you, and he falls to your ear, moaning. He pulls out and you moan gutteraly. You feel the warmth of his seed dripping Yet again, he disappears and reappears with a warm washcloth. Cleaning and kissing every inch of your body.
You get cleaned up and dressed. Joel puts on a pair of sweatpants, no shirt. You could go for round 2 but 2 times is 2 too many. You begin to put your shoes on. “Darlin’, why don't you stay the night?” You instantly get nauseous, and feel tears? Maybe? You barely know this guy, what the fuck? “Joel, I told you. This cannot happen. Not again.” You say, trembling. “We can-” You cut him off. “No more Joel.” and you open the door and walk out. Leaving him just as quickly as you found him.
Masterlist - Chapter 4
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller fic#last of us#neighbor joel x reader#neighbor joel#cliffhanger#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#joel miller x you#the last of us#neighbor!joel#joel x reader#daddy joel#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#my writing#tlou#joel tlou
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i dont wanna spam yall, so ive decided to only reblog this when i have a lot of things to say. lmao this sat in my draft from the second i posted that last update, here's more.
FUCK I CLOSED THE TAB AND I GOT THE POP UP but find the quote from his coach about how his personality would make him hate being treated differently. CAN SOMEONE WITH AN ATHLETIC/NYT SUBSCRIPTION PLEASE FIND THIS QUOTE FOR ME.
and connors quote "is butternut squash a nut"
and prev tags "#he's allergic to peanuts and tree nuts #like severly allergic how does he eat at “health” restaurants??" it's interesting that you bring up "health restaurants", because that's the only place he eats, he has NEVER eaten fast food¹..... and yeah, 'healthy' resos are FILLED with nuts, he had an allergic reaction and went to the hospital the night before what should have been the finals in 2020 at age 14, and the next day, dispite being in the hospital the night prior.... he laced up, and he was going to play..... AND THEN HOCKEY CANADA ANNOUNCED THAT ALL JR HOCKEY WAS CANCELLED BECAUSE OF COVID, oh yeah and not only had he never eaten fast food but "people close to him aren't sure he's ever had a cookie"
and like what i said a few reblogs ago, connor and his family temporarily moved to sweden so he could continue training during covid. why do i bring this up again, because when he was at the north american players media tour back in september one of the videos they recorded was for nhl europe and they asked the players to read phrases and words in different languages..... and they didnt put connor in the swedish video!!!! and he was there!!! he was even in videos for the other languages and they filmed them all at the same time..... I WANT TO SEE HIM FAIL AT SPEAKING SWEDISH!!!!!!
There's an entire PROCEDURE for requesting signed sticks and shit from him, that's how many requests for them there have been, the only people who don't need to deal with the middlemen are fellow players. Brady Tkachuk asked Connor to sign a stick for a charity event their last game (the one on the 17th of february) and he did indeed sign one for Brady. (source, i am listening to the radio broadcast of the sens chicago game from the 28th of march)
this next quote gets me GOOD, like oh my GOD!!!!
she [connor's mother] says, if you were billeting with someone right now that’s what they would say, Connor. They’d say, who raised him? And it’s my job as a mother to prepare you. And one of the best 17-year-old hockey players we have ever seen says to his mother, completely seriously, “Don’t feel bad, mom. Madi turned out great.” May 5th 2023
connor please i am BEGGING YOU, you turned out amazing.
i think this is all the things i have from last season, i'm gonna make a new reblog for things from this seaon, but it'll be a while until i'm ready to post it.
¹ as of november 2024, we have confirmation that connor has eaten at TWO fast food restaurants, but its subway and chipotle so... barely counts.
what the tabs look like, of a normal girl, who is doing normal things, and is not thinking too hard about 'gifted' kids and the downfall of an adulthood no one prepared you for
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Available as a print at my INPRNT.
#artists on tumblr#digital artist#small artist#digital art#digital illustration#dragon age#swords and shields#varric tethras#aveline vallen#dragon age 2#da2#dragon age inquisition#INPRNT is having a 40% off summer sale#now is a great time to get this if yall want it
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S1 Pulp Musicals Gang my beloved
#minus Chester because drawing his hat was genuinely aggravating and I wanted to choose peace#I love these little goobers#y’know what else I love?#pulp musicals#belive it or not#god it’s so good#I will never stop talking about how incredible pulp musicals is#just fyi#so fucking pumped for pulp 4#god it’s going to be so good#These were so much fun#might do some more later#thought i'd just get these done and posted tho bc i'm been working HARD on curtwen week stuff yall#so far ive got two done#only 6 to go#thank god finals are over bc im gonna be on that GRIND#i'm really excited for em so far tho#I genuinely really like the first two that are done so far#ngl i kinda ate#but yeah it's all very exciting#alr time for our fun fact#fun fact: the hashtag symbol is actually called an octothorpe#no longer saying im going to leave it in the tags- it's in the octothorpes now people /j#rose stratford#samuel stratford#sir john herschel#john herschel#benjamin park#margaret cavendish#the great moon hoax
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THE USOS REUNITE WWE SMACKDOWN (OCTOBER 25, 2024)
#no useful tags just me bitching lmao#i am SO unmoved#im praying theres more to all this than them just speedrunning this reunion just so certain things can line up in time for ple shows#and so wrestling fans with less than one braincell can get the instant gratification of their favwit tag team together again 🥺#bc oh bite me lolllll#so much of this ~cinema~ is starting to feel rushed and im just hoping theres turns or angles or REASONS for it#but thats asking me to trust wrestling with carrying storylines fully and i do NOT#the things i wanted most from this story were jey getting proper acknowledgement/vindication and apology for his abuse#and explanation for why the family treats solo as they do (and then expect him to be a well adjusted adult lmao)#jey has NO reason to forgive them yet like did they buy him hallmark cards behind the scenes?#and theyve done much worse to him for much longer the new bloodline#you dont get to brag about this being the greatest slowburn long term cinema storytelling and then just....#im HOPING so bad its not just as simple as it looks i am#they keep swearing theres so many more 'innings' to this so idk prove me wrong please literally do#but that still wont make me moved by ✨og bloodline reunion✨#bc what yall mean yall are still the heels in my eyes like why do you have so many family members yall left on the side of the road#while talking about family above all and dont divide family lmao#and i get ~twin bond~ but LORD#actually that twin bond excuse is evil too#solo go bring in jeremiah since hes technically part of wwe canon too and beat their asses together actually lmao#i aint forgot jey saying something like having brothers is great but how being a twin is just different/special#like yeah sure but can you not make your other siblings sound like secondhand brothers or whatever shdhfhjf#ok im done. for now. for this post. maybe.#venting about my interests is fun for me ok#its how i process the information given to me and understand it#and also i like to bitch
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I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao
#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now#because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now#and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day#we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME???#also it's such a waste of fucking water....#idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off#but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up#and this is also something that happens multiple times a day#like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god#but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach#'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit#and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good#his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before#also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career#opportunities for him here (which is true)#and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here'#like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here???#but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc#and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now#i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma#and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own#it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down#about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life#and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done#and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this#that has been made PAINFULLY clear#ugh this is so fucking horrendous#what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person#who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life#like explain it to me jfc
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Alrighty yall! I’ll be posting much more about this absolutely insane season and probably make gifs/take screenshots after I get some sleep because that was A LOT to take in. I’m sure the fandom is gonna go batshit and have all sorts of things to say because same😂 PLEASE do feel free to share your thoughts and obervations with me in dms or on ask/anon! I would like to talk about it. I’ve been so behind on tumblr but I still truly appreciate everyone’s presence on here.
#‘Grabs Johnny and Daniel antis by the necks and locks them up’ Great. now that thats taken care of we can actually#have a reasonable and based discussion where we don’t attack characters for acting the same as others and being flawed <3#Remember. The writers don’t do any of them justice at times and they don’t know how to develop.#Oops I forgot some ‘Uses The Knife to GET Sam/Tory/Miguel/Robby haters’#But like. I’m especially worried what people will say about Johnny and Daniel based on previous season drops. when the first half#dropped I could not escape it. Either people bashing Johnny and blaming any and everything on him with no grace. Or the most annoying#Unfunny stupid memes about Daniel simply loving his parental figure. LEAVE EM ALONE THIS TIME (or have a real discussion.) YALL SUCK#Dislike a character all you want but be fair about it. Thats it lol
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this was homoerotic even for them
#tomgreg#they are PAINFUL tbh the way that greg was like you can trust me but the thing is tom DOES trust him#WHAT DO YOU THINK and greg says maybe you should and tom is like OK I'LL DO IT#LIKE??? LOL he trusts greg's council. he's unsure then greg says maybe you should and he's like ok!!!! girl#he also trusts greg to get drugs i mean yeah ken got some from him but ken didn't really care about its quality and took really bad coke lol#and is an addict/has previously been one and so far as we know tom isn't/hasn't and he would care about the quality lol#so he trusts greg to get the good shit#''but this is not a thing'' idk about that tom greg was originally expendable and now he's one of your fps lol#ALSO THE INTRICATE RITUALS OF TOUCHING HANDS. So good. and ''want it?'' ''thanks''#i'm not sure if greg's the only dog here. you want it? huh! you want it! here you go!#the FAST written on the board between them when tom takes it!!!! the shots in this show A#again i'm not done but there'll be another post dooooont yall worry. great time for annoying people!!!!
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[Image description: a digital drawing of Thomas and Varian from Transatlantic in sepia tones. Thomas is sitting on a sofa smoking, one leg bent and resting on the couch. In his right hand he has an open book and in his left he's holding Varian's glasses. He seems to have just looked up from his book at a new arrival. Varian is lying on the couch, his head on Thomas's thigh, and sleeping while covered by a cardigan. End description.]
that awkward moment when you boyfriend said he'd just lie down for a second and totally wouldn't fall asleep (he has so much work to do, he can't take naps), but now he's been sleeping for an hour and your leg is cramping so badly but you don't have the heart to wake him because he's been exhausted for weeks
#transatlantic#lovefry#thomas lovegrove#varian fry#transatlantic varian fry#transatlantic 2023#varian took his outer clothes off bcs he didnt want to wrinkle them bcs theres no time to get them ironed#but he forgot to take off his glasses and now thomas has just been holding them bcs the nightstand is on varian's side#as always hello to the rest of the family of 5 (our fandom)#i always get extra excited to share stuff bcs ik yall will see it and be excited too#anywayy i felt kinda bad today so i went onto the balcony and just sketched a bunch of ideas#that have been on my mind for ages#this wasnt one of them but as i did my warmup i just ended up drawing them fully in my style no refs#and it came out kinda cute so i did it digital to fix it bcs digital canvases can rly easily be adjusted unlike sketchbooks lol#the ideas that have been haunting me since i watched ta is something to do w how they met (lovefry i mean)#and just a couple varian pieces bcs all the chars are great but i love him especially so so much#i watched julia drawfee's class on poster design and now i also write down words that come to my mind lol#its v fun#i considered shading this piece but it started getting muddy immediately so i just left it as is#dan draws
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Just checked the date and we've been up for a full week! Congradulations to me! Woo.
#mod posts#This does mean heritage posts will slow down as i wanted to do one post a day through our first week#we should be heading to about. 1-2 posts a week now. maybe 3 if i feel like it#simply so i dont burn through every post that qualifies in my first month. that would be bad#'what days will you be heritaging things?' its a suprise! i want people to randomly get me in their notifications and go :O!#theres actually less older posts that qualify than you would think! makes me sad every time i see a post with 600-900 notes. you are so#close yet so far. :[#anyways that is enough rambling from me. have a great night everybody. glad to be here. and i am glad yall have decided to join me in#my quest to catalogue old notable posts :]
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Hey, this is Taylor from a few years back. Sorry for the ask. I haven't used this app in a few years and forgot how to message lol. I was looking through my old account and saw yours was still up and running, and I just wanted to tell you thank you for the time you were my friend and how patient you were with me. You were a great friend and an even better influence. Hope you're doing good!
This was such a wonderful surprise... I have so many words and yet none at all. Thank you for being my friend, too, and for the kindness you showed me. I hope the future has treated you kindly 🥹🫶🏾
#and now a word from us kids#first of all if you dont know how to use chat its not ur fault its bc tumblr updated and changed 90 times in the last 3 yrs like WHO ASKRD#FOR ANY OF THISSSS#since the great tiddy ban of 2018 we have just gone farther and farther downhill yall 😒 tumblr never shld have tried to appeal to the ads#and its not like it even worked bc The ads we DO get are like facebook video level LIKE PLZ ABEG 😭#anyways i want you to know that when i finally read this ask (like forever late) i was travelling with my sister in TX mind you! and i#literally stopped walking on the sidewalk in 100 degree weather she was so mad at me but i was literally floored#i will never be able to express how much being your friend was healing to me too. and i missed you. and life is crazy#idk if you ever saw that one post on tiktok that went viral and it was an old lady and her best friend had “we were girls together” on#her tombstone like... i think about that all the time. something so beautiful about youth and IM YOUNGG WE R YOUNGGG but still.#thank you for being my friend and thank you for finding me again and i dont even know what words to say! but this was incredibly sweet#and i sat on it for 2 weeks bc i didnt know what to day and i still dont. but i hope you still remember how to read tags 😩😩#a part of me wanted to figure out how to answer this privately but also a part of me wanted this to be tangible somewhere so i apologize at#the end of the day i am still a tumblrina immortalizing things on my blog 🥹🩷#my sunshine#🩷🩷🩷
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been feeling mixed on some of my friends recently
#i love them but im gonna explain#i don’t want this to boil over like the twins did#but one of my friends i feel so cast off sometimes#i get it bc shes full time adult job employed now#in healthcare no less#but im just getting fully annoyed at her lack of availability and it makes me sad#im getting even sadder actually bc she also always seems to have time to hang with her uni friends whuch hurts#like im like okay i know you have this from 6-7 so how about we meet for dinner at 7:30 bc i wanna see you casually and she says no#and i think i really need to talk to her bc it makes me sad and then i feel slapped in the face#even on nights out we always have to go home early. which my friend basically said:#i think in future if you wanna go home you can but others shouldn’t have to too#bc my other friend got so sad she was forced to come back early and i was like yea i would have liked to have sat at manly with yall#bc i feel we don’t do this any more#i honestly think it’s better to just let her figure it out and go#i don’t want me to sweep so much shit under the rug until i despise her#bc i know this isn’t her fault i just wish she would let loose or make an effort#my other situation is my childhood best friend#i love her a lot she’s amazing. but but but. sometimes i feel she can be too protective of me.#it comes from a place of knowing me for so long#and i do trust her opinions on people who i surround myself with bc she fucking hated those twins#but sometimes i feel she has been treating me differently since my neurodivergence diagnosis#even with a certain high school friend she held this dislike even when i said she was not like the twins#bc she was hanging out with the twins at the 21st#like this girl was also having her issues with the twins and was the person in the firing line of the breakup#even when i was in nl she was so worried about me and its nice to have her have my back#bc after that guy kissed me directly on the lips she suddenly became concerned about ppl taking advantage of me#and its like to me great she cares but also i did in fact learn from it#but she gets super defensive when ppl take advantage of me and i just wanna her to step back#i just feel sometimes i don’t need her feeling like she needs to protect me or that i need to hang neurodivergence up like a flag#idk its a lot. thank u for listening
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You see the problem with trying to talk to ppl abt oni lore is that most ppl who have read the logs are like on tier 3 while I'm on tier 7. And most ppl past that can't match my freak because of tier 6 being such a massive hurdle. And I theoretically have the power to make tier 6 stop existing and bridge the gap between layer 5 and 7 but that'd require me single handedly updating the wiki and god damn do I not want to do that
#rat rambles#oni posting#ignore my meaningless ramblings this is like 60% me being a pretentious brat lol#this is simply what I spent my shower talking to myself abt so now yall have to deal with it#but even outside of that shit is soooo fucked for anyone who wants to get into oni lore its miserable#people just do not document this stuff fully and it means that for a good chunk of the lore you do in fact have to find it in game#which is a tall task for a lot of ppl especially ppl who dont have $40 on hand#because a good chunk of the stuff the wiki is missing Is dlc exclusive content#so best prepare to buy the base game and both dlcs if you want to read everything at this point in time :/#that also makes it damn near impossible to recommend oni's story to people because huge swaths of it are in game exclusive rn#and dont get me wrong I adore oni as a game so fucking much but its a commitment yknow?#and it's definitely not for everyone#and those who do commit to the actual game usually are here just for the game yknow?#which is why nothing is fully documented and theres so much misinformation within the community surrounding the lore#so anyone who is like legitimately invested in the story that oni has to offer has to jump through hoops to actually experience it#which most ppl dont want to do from what I've seen#and like I get it its not great to have basic lore locked behind a paywall#but still it makes me sad and it makes me have a hard time talking to ppl abt oni#I look at oni lore discussions on the internet and its just me fighting for my life to not go erm actually☝️🤓 every five seconds
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#i know why but its fascinating to go on fb right now and see people in my county#post about hotels and free places to evacuate and what not#like i get it because if we get hit with a lot of rain and wind im certain there will be more trees down#but considering how people were just weeks ago with the last one and how rhey always are#its like yeah maybe we should take things a little more on the serious side sometimes#like great for doing it now and hopefully that continues#but yall laugh at this shit every time because we usually luck out#and idk the wording of all this or the emotions its just like#but its also like if yall are gonna joke and not take them serious still like sort of prep for it#like im not saying we were or at the most prepared but we have have a decent amount of food and water and some other drinks#plus we have a grill if theres some non rain that we could use to cook etc#my parents lost power and had i think little to no food they could just eat#and i kno they didnt have water because they dont drink it in the same way menand this house does#i mean they didnt lose theres so theres that and they have like a well and stuff so presumabley maybe a little safer than city water but idk#but they just kept complaining about all the food going to waste#they eventually bought a small charcol grill and cooked something on it#and they survived well enough so maybe they did have some sort of food but i also think they went out#and ate somewhere#idk#how many people were like that around here because they didnt want to consider#that we would actually lose power#and now everyone is acting like the most on fb about prepping and what not#again i get it but... idk#tag rambles#dont mind me
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she was nice. confirmed my high score in depression and probably the first to confirm my anxiety levels too. thx lady. therapy every two weeks when school starts. lets see if i can do it :)
#i have no idea what to talk abt in therapy yall#i can answer questions to the best of my ability#but if you want me to start a topic i will blank so hard#like do you want me to talk abt the time my mom hopped out of the car#in ohio on an off ramp and just started walking away bc she wanted to be done with my dads bs#on the way home from great wolf lodge#do you want me to talk abt the time someone punched a hole in the wall (cant remember who) and then mom walked out of the house#to again get away from dads bs and the cops were called on us bc he decided they werent done with the conversation yet#or how abt the times i thought mom was happy but my older siblings and dad have said she was drunk at that time actually#how do i just segue into that? after a good morning? how?#also i brought up researching autism for the past few yrs and she was like#ill keep that in mind but from seeing you for 40min just now on a first visit i dont see it#like yes lady i can socialise well at times#i just really really dont want to and thats the tip of the iceberg
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