#now im moving on to fish
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if anyone is interested in how im coping mentally with covid rn ive been comatose in my bed watching maritime mysteries tv for 12 hours and had this one incorrect section of song playing on repeat in my head the entire time
( ^ actual image of me transcending the mortal plane while fever fantasizing about Certified Gilf鈩eremy Wade. Got those fisherman arms and unyielding respect for nature that get me hot)
#im going to regret posting while half delirious but im full of lasagna and medication and ready to party#personal#someone come to my house and take my tv remote from me#ive also been making crochet shrimp and jellyfish nonstop for like 4 days so#now im moving on to fish
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getting emotional over footage of an amateur scuba diver interacting with a coelacanth. they are hunted by large deepwater predators, and here comes a large creature bearing the brightest lights it's ever seen, making strange noises, but it does not shy away. it hovers, calmly, as the diver reaches out and trails a hand down its back. im strongly against the anthropomorphizing of real life animals but the stupid emotional part of me loudly insists this is because it recognizes us, the alternating movements of its four paired limbs matching the diver's four paired limbs, & it is thinking, "hello, cousins, we missed you these 66 million years, it's so good to see you again. welcome back, welcome home."
#[OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: he should NOT have touched the fish. do NOT touch random fish you find while scuba diving#especially if the fish is 6ft long & has sharp teeth#ESPECIALLY if the fish is a critically endangered species#being overwhelmed by the majesty of the coelcanth is understandable but that does not excuse his behavior]#[obligatory disclaimer 2: i know nothing about this guy; by 'amateur' i just mean he wasnt part of a scientific expedition at the time]#[obligatory disclaimer 3: i mean it wasnt CALM. its first dorsal fin was erect which we have reason to believe means it is on edge.#but it didnt flee like you would expect of a wild animal]#...disclaimers over. now im going to wail about how life began in the sea and we left & they stayed#& we thought they were gone & now we're finding our way back home to them#they are so beautiful and they are our family and they love us ok. they do i know it in my heart#coelacanth#Latimeria chalumnae#animals#andy original#ALSO I KNOW THEY HAVE 8 FINS by four paired limbs i mean the pelvic and pectoral the others arent paired they dont move like legs do
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ik i've done like 5 panel redraws from 265 alone but this is the last one promise
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuuji#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#jjk 265#timelapse#jjk but its me and im the one possessed and i cant stop doing yuuji panel redraws :'>#fr tho im done i swear i think ive drawn all my favourite yuujis from the leaks i can stop now#....the one of him crouching while fishing Is good too tho...#IM JOKING I WON'T (today)#my pinky actually hurts rn i will rest#the thing w timelapses is theres never much 2 say abt the process bc like. its all right there#th red flash was me accidentally hitting the paint fill button gomen :'< i always do either that or i accidentally crop it#they should move those buttons further away from each other >:((((#hmm other than that total time abt 4 hours his hair fought me a bit during the render but gojo voice Nah Id Win >:)#symmetry ruler my beloved <333 until i get 2 his scars n have to turn it off rip#anyway im going 2 go rest my hand do some stretches etc etc#self care i hear they call it
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Director of the False Last Act
#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv spoilers#han sooyoung#art i made#another of the drawings i fished out of my drafts that i completely forgot id started#if the face doesnt look like how i usually draw hsy uh. i apparently did the lineart like 4 months ago#and the way i used to draw her was WAY different#like i had to redo the face cuz i was like man this aint my girl wtf#oh yeah the sort of. watsonian reason why the title of the book shes holding is scrubbed out is bc it could either be twsa or orv i guess#the doylist reason is i couldnt decide between twsa or orv so now its neither LOL#side note but like. intellectually i know the thousand hand guan yin is like an actual thing in buddhism but my familiarity with it is#mostly from the dance move#so like as i was colouring this i was just imagining hsy like creating this pose in universe w the avatars which. one hell of an image#only two of the hands are supposed to represent like specific points in the story the rest are just. symbolic...?#the lemon candy one is obvious and the knife one is meant to be from when she stabs 49!kdj in the epilogue#also holy god im so bad at coming up with backgrounds for this kind of art#the original background i had i think i was trying to make it look like some kind of. book cover...? hence the borders#whatever it was it wasnt working#now i have no idea what its supposed to be 馃憤 like its giving. poorly designed tarot card
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I think something that is REALLY fun about having a small animal that needs to live in a habitat is making it a hobby to try to make the best possible habitat for them. Like there's nothing more fun than planning and executing different ways create paradise for an animal with a brain no larger than a peanut.
#simon says#currently I'm TRYING to work on moving out so I can't really afford to upgrade my Hamster's tank just yet#but since it's a size 20 tall I got for free there's a lot of wasted vertical space i want to utilize#so im currently plotting making a little platform for her to climb on that has some toys or hides for her#I've honestly been looking at some of the reptile tanks at my store because some of them LOOK like hamster heaven#but I'll have to do a lot more research before I do that#also I will probably never post the hamster tank here until I upgrade it because small pet people are... something else#like i understand that when it comes to small pets like reptiles/small mammals/fish there's a lot of misinformation about proper care#but people get very hostile if your set-up is anything less than Ideal#like currently my tank is just adequate#it does it's job and my hamster is happy and healthy#but because it is not ideal (bigger and fancier) I will likely face backlash#like I know a 20 gal tall is NOT the perfect tank size and shape#and even just going from a 20 tall to a 20 wide would be a huge improvement#but I do not have the money to buy a new tank right now#so i must make do and improve what I have until I have the ability to upgrade#i really do want to make a little hamster paradise for her tho#i love my lil silly beans. she deserves a 100 gallon paradise in my mind#but alas. we must make do with what we have
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most recent story development in my brain: ive decided to actually seperate taffy and coco during the timeskip
initially i had it that taffy sticks with coco because he has nowhere to go and they eventually get together over the timeskip. the new version is that he runs away and disappears right before mochi leaves
in my head i see him as the type to run away after what mochi and coco do for him-- after coco put in so much effort and time advocating for him because she saw that there were traces of a good person under his antagonistic nature, and after mochi beat his ass for the final time and finally cleared his curse, he doesnt know what to do with himself.
the rest of the guild at that point (mochi included) has an attitude of "We know why you were the way you were. Now that there's no reason for you to hate us, you're free to go where you want. You can even stay with us." and this sentiment eats him alive. the guilt he feels is insane. the fact that he spent months (years?) trying to ruin mochi, brewing in bitterness and rage and all of a sudden all of that is gone and replaced with forgiveness and warmth is unbearable and he cant stand it, so he leaves.
this is all coupled with his feelings for coco and the attitude on his end of "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve her. All I can do is bring them down. All I can do is bring her down. I have no right to stay here. I have no right to want to stay here."
so theres a pivotal scene in my head where he has all these thoughts, standing right outside the side door to mochis house hearing them all chattering inside, and has a long moment of hesitation before going inside. in the OLD version coco opens the door before he can make up his mind and forces him inside with the rest of them, but in the NEW version i think its much more taffy-like if hes gone by the time she notices and gets to the door
(tldr timeline: mochi removes his curse -> he disappears -> he only appears for the last amanita fight because really thats HIS fight as much as it is mochis -> he leaves again RIGHT after. i imagine coco tried to stop him or say goodbye but this man is notoriously good at escaping quickly)
and so timeskip-wise coco attends university on her own. she keeps in touch with oscar and lime (more oscar than lime) and while she never directly set out to look for taffy, there was always that desire to look for him in a crowd or something, maybe hoping to run into him at random or that he would show up out of nowhere like he did the first time.
I'm not totally sure what he does during the timeskip then. something far away from coco and the guild, but somewhere close to the ocean because he could never find it in him to stray too far from it for too long. maybe lost his touch with water magic a bit because he was too afraid and guilt-ridden to use it. never really stopped thinking about coco but couldnt muster up the courage to go find her again. for YEARS hes convinced that she doesnt want to see him and he wouldnt do anything to make her life better. hes done too much to all of them for them to ever accept him, he thinks.
until one day coco just. shows up. after tracking him down (with mochi and sulluvans help). sitting on a barrel at the docks he works at in some city somewhere, eating some cotton candy she bought at the docks like "Heyo! Mochi needs another guild member, and you kinda owe us one, soooo..."
#lore#bpp#text#and then while hes too busy processing one of his shipmates throws down some supplies and it clobbers him#falls right into the water#coco: gee youre a lot more of a clutz than i remember#or she BUSTS out hysterical mocking laughing#coco move#can you imagine the kind of feelings his heart went through in the span of 2 seconds#its like all the negative emotions were just washed away (haha get it) for a brief second#i think they return when he sees mochi though#i also like the idea of post-timeskip the running theme of (yeah im dating this guy from class now--)#and then you hear taffy shatter the glass he was hand-washing#i dont know what he does post-timeskip yet#maybe he'll be one of those guys who go out to rough ocean and fish crabs#taffy running away feels right#even though it sucks for both of them
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bahh i want to chat about learning french but its kind of difficult. like either its super uninteresting to most people or i feel like i can come off as pretentious or whatever if im not careful and noo im just excited to both play videogames and learn a language. im literally a nerdd. anyway im going to make a post on that
#idk ive come to realise that im lowkey boring lmao#problem is i tend to have these massive interests that last for either 6 months or a year before i completely move onto the next shiny thin#like a couple years ago it was guitar#a while back it was stage lighting#now its french#smaller ones have been rats fish woodworking balloon animals musicals 3d modelling urban planning ect ect ect#and theres a part of me that always worries that im going to do the same with french#i was learning spanish but i had to give it up for french#the few constant interests in my life have been m1n3craft and drawing#but im never really hyperfixated on drawing in fact my best improvement occurs when im not focused on it lmao#idk point is i dont want to loose hope on french because i know how long it takes to learn and because the feeling of working towards it is#the best#but when your interests change so much and so dramatically it can feel like those that are most important to you are slipping away from you#idk this wasnt what i was expecting to talk about#though i do know that my siblings also go through interest phases like this dramatically so its probably not just a me thing
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sneepy cozy....
#cats#(medical stuff mention for tags)#poasting confortable image of boye for peace and serenity and such forthe#I have little weird episodes sometimes where I get shaky (but like violently like 'would spill a drink if you were holding it beacuse#your hands are moving so much' type shaky) and weird and sick feeling but usually it passes in an hour or less. but last night I just#literally couldnt sleep I was shaking so much and my heartrate was up a ton and wouldn't go down even after like 6 hours plus super nausea#so I went to the hospital and now shall wear a heart monitor for a week. which hopefully it's just some weird drastic low blood sugar#event or something and there's nothing actually going on. ekg + ct scan for blod clots + virus panel + almost all of the blood work seems#normal so... aa.......#Though me being so privacy focused hrggh... I basically have a constantly bluetooth connected device around me#since the monitor comes with a cell phone that is constantly transmitting data to the place. which they said they'll call you#if they see anything weird which is also scary. random phone calls... but definitely better than letting an issue go unadressed lol#the phone is also not meant to be more than 10 feet away from the monitor at any time so I put on this old tactical fishing#vest thing thats like navy green with 100 pockets and im just using one of the giant pocketson the side as a phone holder#my enormous silly vest just to keep one little phone#ANYWAY... because I got up early the morning before and didn't sleep at all and spent nearly all day in waiting rooms and such#I have been awake for like 32 hours striaght. which I'm sure also does not help with an elevated heartrate lol#feeling shrimp emotions or whatever people talk about unlocking at a certain level of stress and sleep deprivation#and also no food or water. after a while they brought me like 3 saltines and some ice water but I basically also haven't eaten since 3am#last night and it's 2pm now..#thus............ bapy............. baby boye....... he will help ease all ailments with his baby powers...#And no I dont drink energy drinks or anything with caffiene really I'm afraid of all substances on the planet essentially#My body just likes to become shaky and weird randomly even when I'm not conciously anxious about anything/have had no caffiene/etc#and I guess I'm always more nervous about getting anything heart related checked out because of my arm/shoulder/chest area injury stuff#... i literally have constant chest pain all the time. it moves around but i nearly always have some sort of pain or pressure in my chest#so when people are like 'oh well a little weird heartrate is fine but watch out if you have pain!' it's like... i always do lol.. how am I#supposed to tell the Bad Pain apart from the Always Pain when the descriptions of Bad Pain are very very similar#AAAANYway.... hrghh... i wanted to be very productive and finally post drafts and wrok on things today. but alas..#I can at least post small image of soft boye.. though he recently got into stuff in the bathroom whilst left#alone and knocked things into the toilet.. So perhaps not an innocent and NICE boy.. but still.. a soft one .. beautfile....
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MOVED
#IM OUT#text#me#IM OUTTTT#EVERYTHING MOVED KITCHEN SET UP FOR THE WEEK EVERYTHING IS UNPACKED#excepf for one box for stuff that was on a shelf i dont have anymore but.#more to the point.#IM MOVEDDD#Everything is with me#all of it#wait#i forgot my fish sauce again#lol#whopps#ill get there#now i need to cook pasta and some rice.#i gotta stay up till 1 bc im worling second shift starting tomorrow so i cant be in bed at 8 anymore lol#so well see#worried about blood bank#its been a while#but theres sops for that#and ill make time for slides#also tomodrow is urines amyway so like whatever
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scoured thru issues 127-129 in pursuit of those cute mark pics and i briefly felt a flash of that same bone-deep sadness i felt when i first read this arc
#it's particularly the detail of eve initially being the one who couldn't get a handle on talescrian life#suddenly changing so much. so much happier there. being bffs with haluma. knowing all the locals and all the cultural nuances#the conflicting feelings of like. 'yes!! awesome!! that's exactly how i hoped she would settle in here!! my fiancee is happy yippee!!'#but also 'well wait a minute. now IM the only one who feels like a fish out of water here.'#we were supposed to be in this together but now it feels like everyone's lives have moved on without me etc etc#its SUUUCH a brutal oppressive feeling like goddamn#invincible comic#willow whispers#invincible comic spoilers
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I <3 having fictional children
#my khajiit xinsci makes a surprisingly not too horrible father#the og plan was to leave them at honeyside and like . never visit bc i didnt think i'd be in riften much(not thief guild)#but theres like 4 misc traders there and i have so many gems to sell. also theres a ton of misc quests that lead u there#anyways point is xinsci ended up in riften more often than planned so i moved them to the lakeside manor(main house)#and now theyre chilling and i visit regularly B)#im so proud of my two weird adopted children. its ok hroar you'll catch that fish one day.#im deciding to headcanon that my housecarl/steward kinda watches over them most of the time#and now the bard too#they also have two pet elytra nymphs in their room#so theyre p safe. idk if they can die. can kids die in skyrim. im manifesting they cant
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Rip Tim the Goldfish,
You helped me through lockdown and some very rough times. You were meant to be a feeder fish, I hope I gave you a good life.
The best $0.78 I've ever spent, I'll miss ya bud.
#tw animal death#tw pet death#i am genuinely sad about this. i just dont know how to deal with it :/#i feel like an insane person mourning him so much#but its less about the death itself and moreso how much metaphorical weight he carries for me#like i said i bought him during lockdown#hes moved with me twice one of those times across the contry#he was there for my moms death and for all of the shit with my close family#my graduating project was about him like 100%#and now as i start a new chapter of my life hes gone#he was so much more then just a pet fish#he was what got me out of bed many days and now as i start thus new chapter i dont have that anymore.#ill be okay im just sad right now#in mourning#and i want to be validated in my current bundle of emotions
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i am in dire need of a new bookshelf.
#help#there is only so much rearranging i can do at this point i just need another one#(we're ignoring the spiderman shelf that holds no books)#anyway just moved books around again so i could put the bsd wan manga with the other bsd manga#and have some room for growth#so now bsd and haikyuu are on the same shelf gmskcjs#(with my 2 volumes of banana fish)#(and also my manga copy of no longer human but that just follows the bsd around)#but it is clear to me that this shelf will not be enough for long#especially after having seen what the bookstore had for bsd 馃槶 and they were missing so many 馃槶馃槶馃槶#but for now we make do#there is still SOME room to grow 馃#and im only planning to buy 1 volume a week so it shouldnt grow TOO fast#anyway#i need to. go to bed.#shh ac
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i am back from my vacation
first thing on my to-do list: nap
second thing: explore the minecraft update now that i have a mouse again and not just my glitchy trackpad
third thing: start on the next page for the lost because i thought the vacation would be nice for not thinking about it but instead i was thumbnailing the next page on paper on day 2 bc im so obsessed with these fuckin aliens it's not even funny
#when i say i started scripting chapter 2 to cope........#wish my drawing tablet was reasonable to bring on a flight cause. hhhhhhh#i couldve spent a full day just painting the fish i saw at the aquarium#instead i had to suffer with eighty bajillion art thoughts and one (1) mechanical pencil and could not get those thoughts out coherently#im so happy to be home yall have no idea#it was a fantastic vacation i just missed my Stuff#my bed my drawing tablet my room my desk my DOGS#GOD THEY WERE SO HAPPY TO SEE ME IT WAS ADORABLE#MY BASSET WHO HARDLY EVER MOVES WAS BOUNCING ALL OVER ME#HIS TAIL WAS WINDMILLING WHILE HE WAS LAYING FOWN AND I WAS HUGGING HIM!!!!!#I MISSED THEM BOTH SO MUCH#GOD#anyway im gonna sleep for a bit now#you may see sketches of the cool fish i saw in the coming few days#braindumps.txt
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SO GLAD i start therapy tomorrow because im entering that state of "im not smart and if im not smart i am worthless" (guy with a learning disability) which is soooooo motivating for my fast paced 3 week course 馃憤馃憤
#its SO FAST i dont have time to actually comprehend wtf im learning let alone apply it#i love my prof but i feel like hes just sorta rambling and like im not being taught#i have NOT comprehended body plan -> function in fish#i get the basics like i can FEEL MYSELF starting to understand#but hes like. yeah so you should be able to look at a fish now and know if its a cruiser a sprinter or good at maneuvering#like my guy i am still caught up on the fact you're using multiple words to mean cruising/sustained swimming/marathoning#LET ALOOONE. the PARTS OF THE BODY that move for each type and HOW they move (undulate or oscillate)#help help help#diary
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What type of vitamins do AraSawa take
arakawa has a mini cvs in the bathroom cabinet. very religious about taking it, definitely had masato do the same while he was growing up. prob started because of masato in the first place and just continued even after masato was out of the house tbh. you have to physically pry open sawashiro's mouth to get him to take a vitamin c fruit gummy.
#snap chats#like you know how with dogs you have to fuckin :V their shit Yeah#yeah thats him.#if the doctor tells him he needs medicine he'll bin the prescription but if arakawa tells him to take it he'll do it Begrudgingly#just thought about the very real possibility sawashiro would dry swallow his pills im gonna throw up#YALL EVER DRY SWALLOW FISH OIL there was a phase in my life where i regularly took fish oil and thats what id do#that olive-oily-ass dry-ass stick-to-your-throat-ass fuckin feeling WHY. kinda miss it tbh#pill takers in the crowd who else dry swallows. im moving on now#yk what arakawa probably got in a cabinet them lil fuckinnnnn ginseng shots#i ssssWEAR to god when i was a teen my dad would make me take one of those shots before i left his place#im cringing remembering the flavor and how bitter it was but also i miss it 2x#anyway yeah arakawa does that to jo when he visits sorry. imagine taking that shit at fucking 8AM#right before driving to work where you kill people and hide their bodies your boss giving you the most wack shit ever#if its good for your health why is it like drinking battery acid#im ramblng way too long turns out i have a way more personal history with vitamins and the sort than i thought LMAOOOOO
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