#now im going to do a full watch
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im finally watching the original "tales of the city" (yes... paul gross is in it, but to be fair i wanted to watch it anyway) -- but it's interesting because i did watch the 2019 series when it came out because jen richards was playing a young olympia dukakis and i think essentially reframing her character (iconic) as a trans woman 26 years after the original series and [checks online] 41 years after the first book was published. unless of course she was a trans woman from the beginning, we shall see!
but it does mean that i read anna madrigal (olympia dukakis) in a specific way from the beginning - a part of her Luster and Mystery when she's first introduced is that she's a trans woman who doesn't talk about it, like many trans women wouldn't have done at the time
i say "i think" because there was a big narrative about her deciding to tell characters about being trans in the 2019 story, and it felt like the first time it was brought up in the story
anyway. we shall see! it's fun to get into some iconic queer media! and somewhere in there is also a paul gross 👀
mainly though, laura linney!!! between this and angels in america she really is a foundation of Big Queer American Stories
#he was in the 2019 one as well but i wasnt watching it for him so he didn't pop out at the time#now im going to do a full watch#tales of the city#i once walked right past armistead maupin at a queer awards event i was cleaning at#and i have never read tales of the city (woops)#he had a speech as well and it was beautiful#im watching tales of the city#im watching tv
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domain expansion
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#jjk 264#yuuji#help she entered a fugue state and finished a painting in 7 hours again#I still wish with all my heart that wed gotten megumi but HOLDS UP YUUJI THATS MY BOYYYYYYY#god his face is Messed Up i feel so bad#but i do think this is how ill go about drawing the injuries from now on :'>#just a Mess of flesh tones on that boy :((((( maybe shoko can kiss it better#anyway towards the end of drawing this my llsif pilled brain supplied 'domain expansion: happy party train' and i think its a keeper#yuuji if u havent picked a name yet pls consider thank u <3#a train station tho......as much of a vibe as it is i SUFFERED#the high ceilings full of pipework...the parallel lines....thank god i make the rules and dont actually have to detail it all#i love u vague lines that convey Essence Of Room#i think it works !!! i feel like im waiting fr a train n watching time slow around me as the lights stretch#btw the rake brush is SO good fr making lil bits of stretched light like u r squinting . i love it i have fun#anyway enjoy !!! him!!!! we r truly in yuuji kaisen i never Once doubted my boy
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Uploading all my Tomgreg art at once from the past few week before season 4 hits, who knows in what kind of mental state i'm gonna be once it does :')
#tomgreg#succession#dont even talk to me i started watching this show when i had nothing to do at work and now i watch it with averiel my good friend averiel#and we are going to watch s4 together and i feel physically ill from bein so excited#so ya thats what ive been up to... anyway. i love these idiots they desever nothing but the worst (affectionate)#im also a tomshiv lover btw. im the one who yells 'THIS IS HOW TOMSHIV CAN STILL WIN' while they are actively losing on screen#thats the kind of person i am#dont look at me (lying on the floor)#okay i was not going to say stuff in the tags and let the art speak for itself but i NEED to point out details in the wine Painting..#i put a lot of work into that one. thinly veiled metaphors and symbolism yknow..#greg is gripping the stem of the wine glass with his full fist. tom and greg are dressed in the same outfit (sock garters included)#greg look appalled but he is not doing anything about the spill. tom is fondly pouring greg more and more wine. he is doing him a favor#i colored the red wine the same way i would color blood :) oh and tom is not really touching greg#only holding the chair in place. greg is making himself look smaller than he is like usual#oh and @ the person who said that it's the inverse of the tom and nate scene i love the way you think. i did not think of that before#but god. yeah. i actually thought about the scene change from when roman uhh.. christens his office in s1. the one with the coffee machine#i always go insane at that cut. this is not exactly the same since it's more.. about emotions but yknow.. it can be.. the same...
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im so sorry i get it now i really do, the gay angels have me shaking screaming crying at all hours of the day and night, they mean everything to me i am literally thinking about them all the time and what it would mean to love someone steadily and silently through eternity, what it would mean to love across the lines of a divine war of supposed good and evil, what it would mean to carve out a space for oneself and ones lover in no man’s land, in the grey and moral ambiguity when you were created to be black and white without blemish. god i love them so much i just
#update from the tags : posted this after watching s1 knowing the end of s2#and i was like hm hope im not too offbase#but imagine my surprise when they literally said ‘i love this space we carved for ourselves’#I WAS SICK#ineffable husbands#<< u dont get it. i used to see that and it meant nothing to me. now its like a knife inside me#good omens#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#ur girl watches good omens#experiencing full brain rot. like every song is about them somehow#im imaginging edits in my head bc i do nawt have time to make them for real#i just bought the book and i am about to devour it#lol another update#the drama in this post is so HDISJSISB but i was FEELING IT#i was GOING THROUGH IT…#and when i think abt them for too long i still am
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im bout to do my physical media rant baybe i keep trying to find some of my favorite cartoons n shit on DVD and SOO many of them only have like the first season and maybe the second physically and IM LIKE WHAT you went ahead and made a DVD for this series but couldn't be bothered to do like??? the rest of it??? and i ALMOST understand it ya know you wanna release the first season and see if it sells well before going and doing the rest, but also that's dumb? i don't wanna own only ONE SEASON if im going to buy a dvd for a series esp one that's already finished, i want to be sure it's THE WHOLE THING i'm not going to buy just a lil bit im going to wait for the full series to buy it so i know when im rewatching i don't have to like stop half way through and go watch the rest of it ONLINE GRRR GRRR do the full series or don't do it AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!! im about to start buying bootlegs
#civetrambling#physical media#sorry i started collecting DVDs like last year and now im a nerd about it#just lIKE WHY#cant believe kipo age of wonderbeasts got a full series release on DVD but bojack fucking horseman didn't#i mean they are for very different people of course but like in the sense that they are both popular animated netflix series#like i was waiting for infinity train to fully release on DVD to watch it since i thought that would be fun but now im just gonna have to#fucking pirate it i GUESS#witch i dont have a problem doing but i like collecting things okay#love cartoon network for actually bothering to make good dvd box sets for their popular series you go kings#i need DVD bonus features or im going to die
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The fact I have to boot up totk AGAIN, honest to God yall after I make this one fuckass post it is au only I am not doing zelda discourse no more
#watching my own mutuals have bad faith takes on people who w#fucking agree with them and the way people are teying to pick out wording on something SO STUPID AND TRIVIAL is gonna dive me nute#NUTS ANYWAYS like the fact you have people trying to act like ezlo and navi are stupid and wrong and “didnt address eveything” is fucking#insane an obtoose like this is coming from bitches who have SEEN THEIR POSTS ON SIMILAR SUBJECTS BEFORE#like this all boils down to rynling was changing the plot to tp multiple diffrent times and calling people stupid for not subscribing to he#fanfic on what LITERALLY HAPPENED IN THE GAME#like i will adress all the shit around it IN DETAIL because i need it to go out as a HEY to my moots but like PLEASE GUYS I LOVE YALL WHAT#IS THIS#like sorry i said “we” when i should of said RYNLING#i didnt wanna be mean and tbh i do not care if i burn a bridge or piss them off#at this point but its crazy hoe many of you have shit talked her to me and then act like she didnt have a bad faith and like fucking insane#reading of what and i say again LITERALLY HAPPENED IN TWILIGHT PRINCESS#Something stupid big and im very tired of the vauge posting coming from people i like very much#like full on this shit js ridiculos and this is my final straw when it comes to zelda discussion. do not @ me#and ive hated direct comfrontation and shit and discorrse to begin with cuz it was usually some dumbfuck zelinker being RACIST#but apprently its now picking words apart. i will be as careful in my wording as possible but make no mistake this was about rynlings post#first and foremost and just getting things wrong about when the histoy of light and shadow line and just MIDNA in general#and its been conisistantly wrong since 2019 and mf yes im tag talking i aint taking up a dashboard#can you tell im very frustrated? im helping ezlo argue with white leftists who will ask you if you hate waffles when you say i like pancakes
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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finished my first playthrough of slay the princess!!!! yippee!!!! :D
i loved that so much oh my god perfect ending best playthrough ever
the vessels i had were damsel, cage, witch, tower and spectre in that order and i chose the ending to run away with the princess and i was not expecting her to be so sweet I LOVE HER!!!!!! look at my wife!! <3
#i wasn't sure if i would do another playthrough#since ive already watched so many#but now i think i have to lmao#im really curious what happens if all five vessels are like#like all ones you murder and betray#and then try to run away with her at the end#basically going full evil mode right until the end#also i need to find more routes that are longer#this playthrough only took me 3 hours#i shall play more!!!#not rn because its almost 1am but i definitely will play again!!#im tempted to now but ik if i start another one i won't be able to sleep until i finish it#and then it'll be like. morning lmao#anyways enough yapping#I LOVE SLAY THE PRINCESS!!!!#slay the princess
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god idk whats wrong with my brain it doesnt matter how tired i am as soon as i lay down to try and sleep i feel like im having a heart attack and being hunted for sport
#maybe i should try melatonin again#this moving disaster crisis 4 months ago is still not resolved and i start my second semester on the 6th and i just#i need this to be over with!!!!!!! i need to focus on studying but i cant do that when the environment is so hostile and fucked up#i know i could do better if i just didnt have to deal with bullshit 24/7#and of course on top of all of that T Antagonizer is still on their quest tor uin any hope ill have at a mildly happy life im just#im so over it man#25 years of nonstop disaster and only having myself to rely on and constantly being in survival mode im FUCKING OVER IT#i have no time to do anything im passionate abput when i work and am in school full time and theres ALWAYS A PROBLEM#all i have the energy to do when i rarely have free time is watch tv rotting into the couch#quarter life crisis hours are now#as if my entire life hasnt been a crisis#i dont feel passionate about anything these days and it just depresses me more#i just dont have time to be passionate#and yes this is capitalism fault. the abuse. the working myself to death to try and escape the abuse.#no supports to escape. your only option is giving up everything you own and going to a shelter and thats obviously crazy#and dangerous. ive been homeless and pulling yourself back out of it is nearly impossible.#being alive is really not groovy lads ill be honest. im terrified.
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...
#oh lads. lads. lads. lads. im being sucked back into the world of academia#i dont even kno what happened. a week ago i was crying bc i was like: this is impossible. i simply cannot do this.#and then i went into the lab sunday and miraculously i was able to easily read some papers. like i dont kno how to discribe how baffling it#was. like reading papers is like pulling teeth and this was somehow easy. i think maybe it was bc i let myself get distracted and wander#thru it. and then after that i got so much done this week and i was tired but having fun. and like the thing is: i fucking love evolution#it's like puzzling out the code for life in both a metaphical and literal sense. its fucking incredible. and my project is also very#interesting. if a bit intimidating in its scope. ya kno. just in the way photosynthesis is generally intimidating#but i think i have a strain thats lost chlf which is really interesting and my advisor said we might have the money to try some crispr for#my cyano children. hypothetically. maybe. and i get to do some poking around in genomes. theres so so much to love there#how could i possibly want to do anything else? and yet. and yet. here at the end of the week im so wrung out and i kno i just have to start#again on sunday and i kno im gonna have to step it up in terms of reading if i want to make it through a committee meeting and proposal#defense. not to even mention a comprehensive exam. and what do i get at the end of all this? a lifetime of academia draining my life away.#bc what i do is so academic. so whats the point? its just so frustrating.#and on top of that ive got all this data from my old lab that i kno i have to work on. and i will. i will. but with what time?#anyway the point is. i can see a path forward now where i stay here and decide the pain will be worth it despite not knowing where im going#after that. im just so tried#but right now it feels like im gonna stay until someone kicks me out#but that doesnt exactly make me feel happy. ugh. but if i stay i want to get my old pi to come here and give a seminar. ill warn her how#intimidating the department is tho. we've had 2 talks in the last 2 weeks that were... not good. particularly the one this week#like she couldnt answer a single question they thru at her and didnt seem to kno her data sets. it was hard to watch. anyway. i just want#to see my academic mother again. send me back to the desert! let me rot in a field full of sage#but send me back to the hills of an older mountain range. where i can climb sandstone cliffs and lay in carpets of moss. except i wouldnt do#that bc of all the ticks and threat of lyme disease...#anyway. im still tired. still sad. and there doesnt seem to b a way out#unrelated
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Chapter 12
UH OH
SEE HERE FOR GENERAL WARNINGS AND FIC SUMMARY
Some pre-chapter notes:
trying to move away from writing toko like chunsoft and adding more to her character (she's traumatized she wants to be loved but she's going about it in the worst way) but in the end none of her actions are condoned. she's fucked up still sorry but written in a more sympathetic light i hope?
syo WILL be in this fic but i do my best to make her hand-wavy explanation ambiguous (fuck whatever canon says about 'textbook split personality' btw)
@moonlighttogami and @tokiwigiwi :)
Content warning tags: implication of stalking/blackmail, Toko-expected creepiness, use of violence, character death
< previous - from start - next >
He’s not sure how much time passes when the door opens again.
“Finally,” He huffs, not bothering to turn. “Took you long enough. Honestly, how long does it take-”
He halts, as the intruder steps into the room, and quickly clicks his handbook shut. These weren’t Makoto’s footsteps. And - he surreptitiously covers his nose - that wasn’t Makoto’s smell. But he knows whose it was.
“...Toko. What do you want.” He turns and glares at the girl who has intruded on his space. She fidgets where she stands, a thin shadow of dark purple. The smell of her has grown stronger over the past few weeks, and hangs around her like a miasma.
“M-master Byakuya…”
He feels a full-bodied shiver of disgust run over his skin. “Don’t call me that.”
She ignores him, and carries on. “A-about last night…”
Right. To be completely honest, he was hoping that he had scared her enough the night before to make her leave him alone entirely. But he’s not surprised either; if she had the nerve to blatantly try and look at his secret, it wasn’t surprising that she had the boldness to try and confront him like this.
“What about last night.” He says stiffly, and she jumps as if shocked.
“I-I know about your eyes!” She blurts at last. “A-and, I know Ch-Chihiro knows it too…I, I heard you t-talking about it i-in the b-bathhouse last night…”
He feels his lip curling, revolted. Of course she had eavesdropped; she was quickly proving to be one of the more annoying stalkers he’d ever had the displeasure of dealing with. The number of people who were aware of his condition was also rapidly increasing against his will. At this point he might as well do the same as Fujisaki and announce it out loud.
Fukawa continues in her irritating stutter. “A-and…y-your envelope…” He freezes immediately, suddenly latching on to her every word.
“What did it say?” He demands, and she flinches - shivers? - arms crossing over her torso.
“I-if I t-tell you, y-you won’t w-want anything to d-do with m-me anymore…” She mutters, seemingly to herself, and he feels another wave of revulsion roll over him.
“Out with it. I already want nothing to do with you, but if you don’t speak up now-”
What will he do? He tries to come up with a threat that can hold actual weight, but they all sound pathetic, even to himself. If only Makoto were here, he could at least get him to chase her away…how long does it take to talk to three people, anyways?
Ironically, it’s Fukawa who saves him from having to think of something. “I-I know you’re r-really mad at m-me for r-reading your secret last night,” She continues, and she’s swaying slightly, as if drunk. “U-um, I-I promise n-not to t-tell anyone! About your eyes, o-or your envelope…a-and, I’ll t-tell you mine, t-too.”
“I’m not interested.” He says flatly. “Tell me what was written in my envelope. Now.”
She shakes her head instead. “I-I know th-there’s no way for you t-to have r-read yours yet, right? S-so only I know!” The light catches on her spectacles, and it gives the illusion of two, illuminated orbs on her face. “W-which makes me m-more special than M-Makoto, or Chihiro, right?”
She sounds deranged. Her voice is pitched with desperation, and she’s breathing heavily. She takes a step closer. “I-I know all your s-secrets, and once y-you know mine…s-so you can r-rely on me, m-more than Makoto, o-or Chihiro?” Another step, and the floorboard creaks. “I-I’ll do better than th-them! And, and I can accept you f-for all your secrets, s-so, you don’t n-need them, I promise!”
“Stay back.” He snaps, shifting backwards. The revulsion was curdling, mixing with fear, and crawling down his back like something physical, like the vile, unwanted sensation of fingernails, tickling over his skin. He hates this irrational panic - she was just a girl, and a pathetic one at that - but here he was, shying away anyways, unable to discern her next move, her intentions. “I’m warning you-”
She lurches forward, and he takes an inadvertent step back. His back meets the bookshelf; he was trapped. “S-so don’t get scared,” She says, though these words really only have the opposite effect on him. “D-do you remember the news, a few y-years back? A-about Genocider S-Syo?”
Genocider Syo? The name sounds familiar, but it takes him a moment to place where he’s heard it before. It was a few years before he enrolled at Hope’s Peak, while in transit to some social gathering or another; Pennyworth had left the car radio tuned to the local news.
“The serial killer?” He asks aloud, as he subtly searches the shelves behind him, trying to find something to use as a weapon. The tip of his index finger catches on the spine of a large, plastic-bound copy of some textbook or another, and he leverages it slowly out of the shelf, feeling sweat beginning to slicken its cover.
She nods eagerly, her braids bouncing. “I-I knew you’d kn-know about it,” She sounds relieved, somehow, voice breathless. “Y-you know, th-the first place Syo turned up was the town w-where I was b-born…i-it was my f-first crush that was the f-first victim, y’know?”
It clicks together quickly for him. The radio announcer had described bloody and ugly scenes of murder, the displayed corpses of young men and boys, all attributed to a mysterious killer with a penchant for stabbing their victims. And now standing before him was a clearly-deranged, unwell girl, well-known for her romance novels, and apparently obsessed with him.
“I-it’s okay!” She says hurriedly, as he presses himself closer to the shelf. “Sh-she only c-comes out when I-I’m really t-tired, o-or if I see b-blood…b-but, I c-can control her! I am controlling her, I promise!” She steps forward again, and this close, he can see the sickly flush on her face, the shine of sweat - tears? - down her cheeks. “I’ve b-been working s-so hard, s-so she won’t h-hurt anyone again…so it’s o-okay! I c-can be good! See?” She hiccups slightly, she must be crying. He can’t imagine why. “S-so now we can be equal, r-right?!”
She staggers towards him again, and he reacts before he can even think twice about it, yanking the book from its shelf and swinging blindly. The edge catches her across the face, whipping it sharply to the side with a sickly crack and a squeal - there’s a crest of blood, splattering up the length of the book, he can feel a few warm drops splash his hand, the skin crawling where it landed - and she crashes against the shelves with a shriek, stumbling.
“Why?!” She wails, hands shooting to her face. She sounds genuinely distraught, and she shakes as she scrubs at her nose with her palms. “I-I told you m-my biggest secret, a-and I kn-know yours…w-why won’t you tr-trust me?!”
“Trust you?!” He laughs, mirthless and a little frenzied, pitched wildly with his thudding heart. “You repulse me.” He steps forward now, book still clutched in his shaking hand. “Why would I ever trust a murderer in a killing game?”
She flinches as if his words were more physical blows, stumbling away from him and knocking against the shelf. A few books rain down, thudding open on the floor. “I-It’s not me,” She babbles, clutching at her head. “S-Syo - she’s j-just s-someone else, she’s in m-me, b-but I can c-control her, I p-promise - sh-she’s not me, she’s not me, she’s not!”
It sounds vaguely like some dramatized description of a split personality, though Byakuya had never heard of any such disorder that matched Fukawa’s apparently extreme case. Whatever the girl had going on would probably warrant its own DSM volume, but he wasn’t particularly interested in that. “I don’t care if she’s a ghost that’s possessing you or a secret twin taking your place. I want nothing to do with either of you.”
“B-but-”
“Get out.” He snarls, chest heaving. “If I hear anything - anything - on my condition, I will make you wish you were dead.” She doesn’t move, and he feels his teeth clench enough to creak. “I said, OUT.”
She darts, stumbling and stepping through one of the piles of boxes on the floor, completely breaking through the lid. Whatever was inside it stays looped around her ankle as she kicks the lid off, and clicks against the floor as she sprints away, her sobs fading as she goes.
___
For safety, he blocks off the door to the library with the chair, jamming it beneath the handles.
Then, he waits for Makoto, pacing, agitated. Really, how long could it take to accompany one person to talk to three people? His clock in his handbook stated that hardly an hour had passed since Makoto first left, and ten minutes since he sent Fukawa away. Surely, he had to be coming back eventually?
Not that there was anything keeping Byakuya in the library, other than his own uncertainty regarding his safety. Considering that he knew Fukawa’s alternate identity, and her apparent infatuation with him, it would be foolish to make the trek back to his room alone.
He stops pacing, frustration and restlessness boiling over. And returns to the files, shuffling through them, handbook held aloft to read the names printed on the edge of each folder, ignoring the ones that clatter to the ground after he shoves them haphazardly back. Finally, he comes across the one he's looking for, and slides it out of the shelf.
The front of it is stamped with the title in silver: ‘The Murder Cases of Genocider Syo: Top Secret’. He flips it open.
The text is interspersed with images of the victims before and after their unfortunate encounters with Fukawa. He can’t make much out about them, other than the fact that all the murder scenes seemed similar enough; photos of pale bodies, stretched out as if crucified, splattered with blood. Their faces, which must have been twisted with agony, are merely dark smudges.
“...As with the other cases, at the scene of the crime the word ‘BLOODLUST’ was written with the victim’s blood,” Alter Ego reads aloud. “The scissors used in the murder were apparently custom-made, with every pair left at each murder scene seeming to be of the same material and construction…”
How vile. He flips through the pages (one of which is annoyingly wrinkled, and furthermore, smudged with dirt), reading through the victim's descriptions. There was a sort of morbid curiosity that drew him to read further, even as his stomach turned with the knowledge that he could end up like one of these men; pinned like a butterfly for the killer to admire and laud over.
He snaps the file shut at last, feeling nauseous, and sinks down with his back against the shelf, suddenly exhausted - the adrenaline from Fukawa’s confrontation is gone, leaving behind a bone-deep fatigue. Sluggishly, he categorizes what he knows:
One: Fukawa was also Genocider Syo, a notorious serial killer who targeted young men.
Two: Fukawa both knew he was blind, and the contents of his envelope. He reaches into his pocket and feels for it, the paper now crinkled and warped. He still can’t bring himself to try and use Alter Ego to read its contents, but so long as Fukawa knew…there was little he could do about it.
That brought him to three: Fukawa was apparently obsessed with him. That was clear from the start, but he underestimated how dangerous her infatuation was. What she wanted from him was, apparently, some kind of romanticized relationship, if her mutterings about mutually sharing secrets and calling him ‘master’ was anything to go by, but nothing that could possibly be built on equal footing. Not if she was trying to leverage the envelope’s contents and his blindness against him.
He pauses at that. Did Fukawa know he was capable of using Alter Ego through his handbook to read? If she did, then there was no point in her trying to hold it over him. But then that meant she might try to manipulate him in other ways, the most simplest being blackmail. For that, he’d need to silence her…
And to do that, I would need to kill.
He drums his fingers against the hardwood floor. It’d be hard, but he could do it. She was already fixated on him, it should be easy enough to lure her somewhere and take care of her, either with a blunt-force weapon or strangulation - stabbing was too messy with the blood splatter - but the real difficulty then was how to conceal his tracks.
He thinks for a moment of Maizono, and how she had swapped rooms with Makoto solely for this intention. He thought her foolish then, but in hindsight, it really was an impressive display of quick thinking…though, it wasn’t one that he could copy.
What if he did it in a shared space? In one of the empty classrooms? People hardly went into these rooms, and it’d be harder to pin down the culprit. But he’d have to be fast about it, and careful; anyone who sees him or Fukawa entering that space, or leaving it, could easily identify him as the suspect. It’d have to happen at night.
But, she’s also smarter than she looks… He rubs at his temples now, frowning. She might see the similarities between this and Maizono’s attempt, and realize it’s a trap. I can’t risk that. It’d be easier if I could easily pin it on someone, but the amount of people who might be stupid or willing enough to let themselves be used…
The list was very short. Makoto, who was already a non-option. Yamada, who was too closely allied with Celeste to be trusted. Hagakure, who was too paranoid to be easily led into anything anyways...
And Chihiro.
He’s suddenly struck with the realization that if he succeeds, the others die. It would not be just one person’s blood on his hands, it would be multiple, including those he chooses not to directly involve. He hesitates, for an instant - and then lowers his hands slowly, a sense of defeat settling over him.
He’s already failed before he even started. This game could only have one winner, and if he could not fully commit himself to that role and accept the consequences of it, then he was never a real competitor to begin with. Circles within circles. He was back to the start.
Frustration isn’t something he’s unfamiliar with, but it’s been a long time since he’s felt so overwhelmed with it, as he tilts his head back, knocking it against the shelf as he stares blankly at the brown fog of the ceiling. And then slams a fist against the floor, hissing venomous, ugly curses under his breath. If only he had his eyes, again - he wouldn’t need to be so concerned with such things, wouldn’t need to waver - and yet.
Where the hell is Makoto? He thinks numbly, exhausted with it all. He was sick of being left with nothing but his nerves, and how long did it take to talk to just three people anyways?
Thump, thump, thump.
A rhythmic banging snaps him out of his thoughts. For a moment, he thinks it’s coming from the door, and clumsily pushes himself up, while fumbling for something, anything, to use as a weapon - his hands find the hard, stiff cover of a case file, still on the floor - and stares down the door, waiting for someone to break through it-
But nothing. The chair that’s stuck under the doorknob hasn’t even budged, from what he can tell. The banging continues, and he realizes it sounds more like hammering than knocking. It wasn’t even against the library door.
Construction? Hagakure did mention hearing construction sounds earlier. Was Monokuma building something again?
The sound ends, replaced by footsteps approaching his door. He tenses, taking a step back, but a moment later, the footsteps patter down the hall and away, fading out of earshot.
He stays where he is for a long moment, caught between terror and curiosity. Curiosity wins out, and he steps slowly to the door, hesitating once more with one hand on the chair.
But before he can even do anything, the air is pierced by a blood-curdling scream, and he throws the chair away, yanking the door open-
Only to be met with the sight of Chihiro Fujisaki’s corpse.
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#thpff chapters#thpff#danganronpa fanfiction#byakuya togami#hi....sorry for the delay...#in my defense i was waffling a while about posting this bc once i do it means im locked into my trial 2 case and scene etc#and im still writing the trial 2 scene WHOOPS....#also was feeling very bleh this past week. whatever im fine now#byakuya full on plotting a murder before realizing. wait a minute. i care about people now.#and then having a mild crisis about it. prince zuko style except instead of getting a fever he starts swearing in french#hitting a girl? not cool byakuya#im so sorry chihiro i love you tho#the scene were toko gets makoto to go with her to talk to byakuya doesnt happen here#and also toko has been watching byakuya hang out exclusively with makoto#and hearing the rumors that they were having a scandalous drauma-fraught romance#so she ended figuring that the best thing she could do was corner him herself. hence the gathering of blackmail material etc etc#not necessarily the most romantic thing but she sees it as creating a level playing field where he's forced to acknowledge her at all
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Vienna but make it about dick grayson talking to Tim so he doesn’t end up like Jason
#I’m picturing dick leading Tim around Gotham like a Grayson#helping him walk across power lines like it’s a tightrope#jumping the gaps between buildings#and catching him when Tim doesn’t quite catch the ledge#dick walking backward along the edge of of a building as he cautions Tim against doing too much too soon#and the necessity of planning at least three steps ahead#then stepping right off the edge seemingly by mistake#but when Tim rushes to look he’s crouched calmly on a flag pole he knew was there and knew was strong enough to hold his weight#and dick visiting him and announcing a surprise trip they’re going to take together#and telling him Gotham has been full a crime longer than he’s been alive#it didn’t stop when dick and Bruce overworked themselves and it won’t when Tim does it either#and dick pushing Tim’s hat down to cover his face to make him huff#and messing up his hair to annoy him#and stearing Tim by the head in a busy public place a#and Tim sitting on a bench eating a scoop of ice cream while Tim watches kids play on the swings with their parents and siblings pushing#and dick walking up behind him while he goes to lick the ice cream and pushing Tims face into it#and Tim realizing he has what those kids have right now as dick laughs at him and passes him the napkins he just left to get#and Tim slumping into dicks side and dick going a bit wide eyed before wrapping his arm around his brother and pulling him closer#THEY ARE SUCH BROTHERS IM SOBBING#dick grayson#Tim Drake
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visibly clenching my jaw and shaking with rage. why are all the newer barbie movies trash.
#been clenching my fists getting through them with my brother#big city big dreams and princess adventure are the ones we watched and EW#the most horrendous crime is definetely the outfits. they are genuinley a nightmare to look at.#but also the plots ?? ass. the music ?? forgettable#there is no magic anymore do you understand#and it all takes place in the same shit ass world now to promote the barbie viog channel or something#AND they dropped rainmaker entertainment im pretty sure#since they havent been in any of the credits#i think they stopped being good after dolphin magic. if i have the timeline right.#about to watch mermaid power and from what i saw in the trailer the outfits are HIDEOUS#like how did you go from pearl princess and mermaid tale to this. yikes.#barbie the full blue hair is NOT a look and it does NOT match your outfit#god.. i could rant for ages about this you dont understand#its so incredibly awful. what happened to the barbie magic <- capitalism. capitalism happened.#god.. dont even get me started on the sister focused movies ??#chelseas lost birthday and skippers babysitting adventure ??#like oh my god.#tell me why fucking barbie butterfly diaries is better than the newer movies#at least it had heart !! at least it wasnt a cash grab and nothing more !! at least the music kind of slapped#at least it was endearing..#and we actually had good barbie movies fairly recently ??#one of my favorites ever starlight adventure came out in like 2016#the animation was insane and the outfits were incredible#and now we are.. here
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save me old flipnote studio MVs.......
#im going thru old flipnotes i used to watch years ago and ouggghhg so many good ones#is twenty one pilots still popular.... do people still remember the TRNDSTTER and marble soda meme.........#its like im unlocking some sort of primal part of my brain and everything is coming back to me. one of my biggest inspirations as a kid#i still remember thinking the final transmission lyrics were the coolest thing and watching =TopHat= Bee and Melissa over and over#theres a very specific feeling of longing and nostalgia looking back and watching these again years later#especially when there isnt anything genshin or mcyt and instead its either fnaf undertale eddsworld or another obscure#interest... and not even fnaf sister location its like fnaf 3 and 2. its THAT old. and a lot of oc MVs especially pokemon ocs and furries..#god but they were so creative u know. i still find it amazing ppl took this little lightbox animation on the fucking NINTENDO DS and#cranked it all the way to 11.. like if u look at the transitions and movement its so fucking fluid its insane..!! HOW DO YOU MAKE THE#CHARACTERS SPIN??? AND CHANGING CAMERA ANGLES??? and keep in mind youre doing this all with a shitty stylus#on a THREE BY TWO INCH SCREEN. you only get two layers you can go up to 29FPS and you only have 999 slides to work with#and 24FPS eats up a lot of that. absolutely insane it literally boggles my mind every time i think about it. AND SOME ARE EVEN FULL COLOR#i forgot how popular EDM was back then too...they were really good for timing beats though so you get a lot of MVs with#strobe last and marble soda. porter robinsons goodbye to a world was also popular with undertale and oc MVs. also a lot of vocaloid#someone made a flipnote abt the warner bros fnaf movie being announced EIGHT FUCKING YEARS AGO. it even used the stay calm audio from#the office.... i wonder how theyre doing now... i love you shitty grainy MV audio.. but i have mixed feelings abt the flashing colors#ppl LOVED animating the sans vs frisk fight. aishite and primadonna were also big ones they were SICK AS FUCK#lots of these inspired my old oc designs.. a lot of my characters had side bangs with one eye covered. animal ears and simple eyes too#now i kinda wanna try my hand at the marble soda meme cause i loved it as a kid lol.. i wonder if i should compare my old and new art here#UGHHHH IM SO NORMAL ABOUT NOSTALGIA. IM SO NORMAL ABT MY SCHOOL BOOK DRAWINGS WITH SHIBA BROWS#yapping#nostalgia
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I just wanted to apologize to my classic whotuals for all the dead boy detectives spamming, but it's also important to me that you guys know two things:
a) I've become aware that a lot of what appeals to me about dead boy detectives is, on a kind of conceptual/thematic level, the same stuff that I love about my favorite eras of dr who, and 6b in particular
And I tell you this not as an advertising tactic but as a genuine PSA for anyone following me because:
b) Being me & having realized this, I know I'm definitely gonna wind up posting some unnecessarily long-winded analysis/comparison, pop it in the main tags for the sake of organization on my own blog, and subsequently confuse a hell of a lot of people there who either have no idea what I'm talking about or simply don't view either piece of media in the same light as I do to begin with
So I just wanted to reassure everyone that at least you're not suffering alone, as I will soon be inflicting the reverse bait-and-switch upon others!
That's all! continue w ur scrolling <3
#i hope this is clear but im REALLY not trying to be like coy or intriguing here#this post is not remotely intended to convince anyone to watch dead boy detectives on the grounds that it's similar to 60s who#in ways which i've conveniently failed to elaborate upon & so you'll just HAVE to go see for yourself#(firstly bc when i want to sing something's praises i will upfront & unapologetically)#(& secondly bc im not super into telling people to watch things in general unless they're actively seeking a rec)#honestly this (now very overhyped) future post of mine is going to be more about like#me recognizing i have A Type when it comes to stories/underpinning narrative backdrops in fiction (if thats not too pretentious)#and much less of a 'well if you like x then you'll definitely love y bc i do & we all enjoy things in the same way & for the same reasons'#and i find it funny that nobody will care - bc it'll incomprehensible to all but about 5 people who have the full context#& half of those 5 will probably still disagree w my perspective/interpretation of one or both -#but im gonna do it anyway bc what else am i supposed to do w these thoughts! keep them to myself??? dont be absurd#that said though if you are debating watching dbd and would like to chat about it to push yourself in one direction or another#im happy to do so! especially if you have questions about it in relation to some other shared interest you actually did follow me for lol#im always game for that sort of thing & yes i am of the opinion that its a good & fun & rich show all on its own
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wheres that one post thats like do u ever find a character that feels so specifically tailored to ur interests that it almost pisses u off. that is siffrin to me rn
#hes like. the funniest mix of therion and junpei u could ever imagine#what if u took a silly little guy and threw their ass in a time loop. and they used the time loop to be a silly little guy (advanced)#theyre litally the best possible candidate for this job bc they LOVE fucking w people to see what happens. but not in the bad way#its so fun to watch them get used to the idea so fast like 'well if i fail at this kinor thing and look like a fool ill just go back lol'#and the fact that they use time loops to take advantage of a bit. now THAT is how u do it#wonderful incredible no notes. cant wait to see the hundreds of time loops chip away at them until theres nothing#isat#oh i uh. bought the full game btw. it possessed me#gonna bounce between isat and yumi nikki until im done with either or both of em :]
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