#now if you dm me it's a different story lol but this is the most i'll say in public

[theambitiouswoman]

How do I overcome self-esteem issues in dating?

Growing up, I don't have pretty privilege like some of my girl friends do, and guys normally would not approach me because I come across as "intimidating" (I have a RBF). I've approached guys I had crushes on at school but I always get rejected, they say that I'm better as a friend than a romantic partner.

I thought my luck finally turned around when I met my ex on a dating app. He checked off many things on my list e.g., successful career, financially independent, exercises regularly and takes care of himself. But after several months I realized that he only dated me because he was lonely and it was convenient for him. He didn't want to commit to me when I asked for something serious. I was crushed. I felt like I was undeserving of love and am convinced that I'll never find someone who will accept me as a partner because I'm not my type's type.

I'm trying to pick myself back up again. I started going to the gym, doing proper skincare, eating healthier, and dressing up better to feel good about myself. But I still find myself secretly hoping for the validation of successful and attractive men when I'm in social settings, as if that proves that I am an equal or "at their level".

I'm aware that this mindset is toxic but I'm struggling to find an effective way to grow out of it. Appreciate your thoughts on this.

Hi beautiful girl

I just want to say how much I admire your self awareness and the effort you’re putting into bettering yourself. It makes you stand out in the best way 🤍 It’s so hard to be dedicated to growth when we don’t feel our best. Use this as a building block for your confidence in case no one has ever told you.

Now, let’s talk about this whole “pretty privilege” thing. Yes, some girls might have an easier time getting attention, but attention and genuine connection are two very different things. You’re not looking for surface level validation—you’re looking for someone who truly sees you & trust me, that’s worth way more than a few extra DMs from guys who just like a pretty face who want you for bad reasons. Pretty privilege is not just about looks and I hate how much the internet emphasizes it. Because pretty privilege is also about your confidence and self respect. How tall you stand. How you put yourself together. How you treat others. I see countless girls who aren’t wildly attractive by societal standards who get treated with “pretty privilege” and you know why? Because they are confident.

I totally get the frustration of feeling like you’re “not your type’s type,” but that’s just a story your past experiences have made you believe—it’s not a fact. First of all, men don’t date who they want, they date at the level of their self esteem. I’ve said this many times before and I’ll repeat it. Men literally never know what they want. Anything you hear men say that they do, it really means the opposite. I’ve never seen this not be true. Because men will always cling to a woman who makes them FEEL, since men have so much trouble with emotion. The right person will find you incredibly attractive, not just in looks but in energy, presence, and personality. You already have so much to offer & you don’t need to prove your worth to anyone, especially men who don’t recognize it. So instead of worrying about if a guy likes you, ask yourself if you like him. Learning to disconnect from the approval of others is important for confidence. And if you approve of yourself, you don’t care what other people think.

You’re already doing amazing things for yourself—the gym, skincare, eating well, dressing up—and that’s exactly where your focus should be. Instead of seeking validation, shift the energy into being the woman you admire. And when you walk into a room, don’t wonder if successful men will notice you—ask yourself, Do I even find them impressive? (promise most aren’t lol — you’re going to have to trust me on this) Do they bring the same value to the table that I do? That little mindset shift will change everything.

Become your own biggest fan. Ask yourself, If no one could see or comment on what I do, would I still want to do it? If the answer is yes, that’s self approval. Unfollow or distance yourself from anything that makes you feel like you need to prove your worth. Instead of trying to impress others, focus on whether they impress you. The most magnetic people are unapologetically themselves. Thats incredibly hot. And everyone is drawn to a woman whose life revolves around herself. Seriously that’s all you’re missing!!! You’re doing so great!

Decenter everyone and center yourself!

You’re not behind, you’re not lacking and you’re absolutely deserving of a love that feels easy, mutual, and aligned. Keep growing, keep glowing and trust that the right people will come into your life because of the confidence and self worth you’re building—not because of how much you chase external validation.

Love you, most of these guys don’t deserve you anyway. Especially with all of the work you’re doing for yourself. Too good for most. A man needs to earn you and work twice as hard to keep you. And men love working for something babygirl.

[marciabrady]

Scathing opinion on the Snow White teaser please (also, people yet again infantilising R@chel and acting like she's just a toddler being unfairly bullied by everyone for her dumb comments)

Oof I really can't get involved with anything even remotely touching Rachel's fandom/community. They literally claim Rachel never said things she was documented and recorded as saying multiple times lol that's another level. They're the type of people that change their points/the topic of the discussion whenever they're proven wrong and that's maddening. I'll say the most obvious, objective truth that it's pretty clear Rachel has a disdain for Snow White and the story and that there should've been more protections in place to guard this landmark of film from the people that signed on for the remake (the original director's SON has spoken out and said Walt and his dad would be rolling around in their grave; also I've never seen Gal finish a sentence with ease so I don't know how she's going to do justice to Lucille La Verne's chilling interpretation that still holds its own decades later in the Patheon of great film villains).

If anything, I think a documentary on Snow White would've been better than whatever this is. We got girlboss!Snow White twice in 2012 alone, so I don't know why Rachel thought she was reinventing the wheel with lazy takes that have been spoon-fed to her (someone's own authentic interpretation or opinion on a female character would be great!!!) and the lack of understanding and love for the source material is evident in every interview we've seen and now this trailer we saw that has the production value of a Danimals Yogurt commercial from 2004. She still doesn't even seem to get it lol at d23 they asked her about this film and she just generally said it's a dream of anyone to play a Disney Princess, but didn't say anything about *Snow White*- even after her announcer (who was more excited than Rachel) called out that Snow White was the original Princess (also this statement kinda drips with the vacuousness that Rachel does; how is it a dream for her to be a princess "even for a day" when she's already portrayed Fiona, Belle, and Ariel??? This is her fourth Princess lol and she portrayed each of them for more than a "day" lol).

Anytime anyone who is actually passionate about SWATSD tries to say anything, we're told that no one liked Snow White in the first place and Rachel is doing us a huge favor by taking on this role and we're feigning our SW support, despite the fact that there's been Snow White historians and museums and fan communities for close to a century. We're constantly told to shut up while everyone cries about how special Rachel is in a movie that hasn't even come out yet and, judging from the trailers, looks like AI text to speech leaping forth with a dress that's giving paint by numbers. Rachel definitely has photogenic features, but I don't know someone who can earnestly say what they did to her, design wise, is pleasing in any way- they made her look like a preschooler's interpretation of Pinocchio in drag. She also has talent and vocal ability but her tact is not there for me and she just really is not the right choice to play Snow White (and also we already had a live Snow White!! I'll die on the hill that Adriana Caselotti will always be the only Snow White, just like Ilene Woods is Cinderella, Mary Costa is Aurora...Ariel is trickier because I think it's more Howard Ashman than Jodi lol but she'll only ever be those two etc). Snow White is the heart and soul of Disney, what started this entire empire, and I think, from everyone we saw in the trailer, it's proving to be the inverse and is the death of Disney in many ways.

[ihearthayden]

Holo-hookup

— Anakin Skywalker

pairing: master!anakin x padawan!reader

wc: 2.7k

summary: you and anakin are in a secret relationship, since it’s against the jedi code. you couldn’t go on a mission today with your master and his team, because you got the fever. he decides to call you during a break, just for a quick check up—but the conversation will last longer than he expected.

CW: smut, 18+ , minors DNI, phone/hologram sex, masturbation (f and m), improper use of lightsaber/lightsaber play, degradation, dom!anakin, age gap, dirty talk, master kink, semi public

note: my inspo for this fic came from SW: the clone wars S7E2 “a distant echo“ cuz i saw a tt comment talking about how the convo after ani’s call scene is a e-sex joke lol

a/n: hey guys! this is my first post/fic so i’m pretty nervous, but i hope you will like it. my requests and dms are open so feel free to txt me ( i’m in a need of hayden/sw enthusiast moots lol ) btw english is not my first language, so i’m really sorry if something is grammatically incorrect.

now enjoy the story! <3

The halls of the Jedi Temple were eerily silent as you rested in your quarters, the faint hum of Coruscant’s bustling cityscape a comforting lullaby in the background—although it were muffled by the thick walls. From the bed, you could hear the distant whir of passing speeders, and their voices always made your mind wander into its own blurry maze—to craft different imaginary scenarios. They fed your delusions with the false hope: maybe your master had finally arrived home from his mission. You should have been stationed on Anaxes with the rest of the team, but a fever in the morning had confined you here, far from the frontlines, far from him. 

The aftereffects of the illness weighed heavily on you, your body was sluggish and weak, yet it was your heart that ached the most. You couldn’t stop thinking about his suffocating absence and how he should have been caressing your overheated frame instead of fighting on a different planet. You fantasized about him wiping away the beading sweat from your shivering, fragile body with his caring, large palms. You sighed, leaning back against the cool pillow. Every fiber of your being yearned to be by his side, battling droids and facing the galaxy’s chaos together, but your condition had left you stranded here, confined to rest at his insistence despite your protests.

The hum of the holo-communication device broke the silence of your desperation. You froze stiff as a statue—just like the ones that surrounded the lakeside on Naboo—and your heart leapt into your throat. You rushed to the device, fingers trembling as you activated the connection. And there he was. The flickering light revealed his face, your heart ached at the sight of him. His face bore new scrapes and smudges of dirt, his hair tousled from the battlefield, but his eyes—those molten orbs of fire and tenderness—were fixed solely on you. You got goosebumps as a shiver went down your spine, but the medicine had already started to work, so it wasn't caused by the fever.

“Ani,” You whispered—a breathless relief flooding through you at the mere sight of him. You hadn’t even realized how badly you needed him until now. 

“Chee-ska anota” he murmured, the Huttese term for “my dear love“ falling from his lips like a prayer.

“I didn’t expect to hear from you. I thought you'd be too busy saving the galaxy“ You teased him softly, but deep down you were glad that you were on his mind as much as he was on yours. He chuckled—the tone low and warm—a balm to your frayed nerves.

"What's the point of saving it if you're not there to see it?" 

But before he could continue his sentence, his words faltered for a second as his eyes traced over your face. 

"You look—your face is still red, and your eyes..." He shook his head, his brow furrowing. "Your eyes are shining, but not in the way I want them to. You're still burning up, aren't you? Fuck.” You noticed him curling his hands into a fist, his fingers dug into his palms. “I could already barely focus on this duty because of you, but this was the last straw. I’m going home." 

Even though his concerns melted your heart, you didn't want to ruin their mission by making their strongest Jedi vanish or risk the option of the others discovering your little secret relationship.

“Honey, my fever is already gone, I just need to regather some strength.“ You were hoping that it would change his drastic decision—but instead it only made him raise his voice at you firmly. 

“It was already a huge mistake to leave you alone in such a helpless state. But I promise you Chee-ska, I won't abandon you again. Ever.“ Worry pooled in his eyes, a silent storm brewing beneath his lashes.

God he’s always so stubborn.—you thought to yourself.

Your body craved every molecule of him to be close to you—but you knew you had to do something to calm him down and make him stay there with the troops. You brushed your curly locks away from your face and leaned forward on the bed—so that your robe opened slightly in the front, revealing the lacy top of your satin nightgown, along with your rosy cleavage. 

His features immediately loosened up, while a small sigh escaped his mouth—since he’s aware of the fact that you never wear any lingerie under it. 

“Don’t try to manipulate me, doll. I'm still your master and it makes me the one in charge. I make the rules.“ He tried to appear serious, but he couldn't mask the sound of longing that filled his voice.

You knew that he wouldn't be able to resist you—since he could never hold himself back. When you find a way to flick the switch in him, he sheds his cautious, caring personality and transforms into a predator. When he got aroused, he became a bloodthirsty beast—and you embodied the prey in his eyes. Just like a starving animal, ready to maul and devour any living creature in sight. 

Since your goal was to push him over the edge, you bit the pink flesh of your pouty bottom lip and reached out to his other lightsaber—that was accidentally left lying on the nightstand next to your bed. It was the only thing that resembled his present and as you slowly ran your fingers over its surface—you quickly figured out your plan. 

“If you are the one making the rules, why don’t you make them fun?“ These words left your glossy lips as you drove the lightsaber up to the right corner of your mouth. 

“Stop being a brat and fix your behavior. I command you as your superior, not your partner.“  His tone carried the weight of authority, a warning you might have believed—if not for his eyes, smoldering and unashamed as it lingered on your breasts.

You loved to lure out his raw dominance with your attitude, so he would use you to fulfill his sickest, secret intimate desires. His mechanical arm and the force combined allows him to take advantage of you and have more control over you than anyone else could ever do—and you enjoyed it more than anything.

“Are you sure is that what you want? Because if you change your mind and stay, you could see me doing this…“ 

You kneeled down and grabbed the lightsaber with both of your hands, so you could lick it all the way from the bottom to the very top of it. You started swirling your tongue around the tip of it and throated every inch of it without any warning. It wasn’t a challenge to take it—since your esophagus has been adjusted by everyday use to Anakin’s significantly bigger size, but it still drew a quiet gag out of you. Your teary eyes never left his surprised gaze—which got taken over by hunger.

You saw him reach out one of his hands towards your hologram—to pretend to grab your hair—and started bobbing it in the same rhythm as you did with your head. You noticed his growing bulge through the thin fabric of his Jedi uniform—and you couldn't help but sit back on your heels and start rocking your hips a little for some stimulation. This lustful view striked a tingling sensation into your abdomen. Your brain flooded with the picture of his trembling, overstimulated tip—as it stained his pants with his sweet, milky, smeared precum—waiting for you to clean it up with your tongue. 

You snapped back to reality and a streak of saliva remained attached to the object as you released it from the hot cave of your mouth—while trying to catch your breath.

“I wish that it would have been you. Even though it’s your lightsaber, unfortunately it still can’t cum down my throat like you.“ You said with sad puppy-dog ​​eyes while trying to stop panting, but an unexpected statement struck your ear.

“Ride it.“ 

A naughty grin appeared on your face as you tried to tease your serious boyfriend for a tiny bit longer.

“I thought you were worried about your sick little girl, but now you want to use her?“ You said with a mocking tone, but he immediately growled at you.

“I said ride it.“ The harsh order made you stare at him for a moment, but he instantly broke the silence.

“Don’t play stupid now, just obey.“ He aggressively unbuckled his belt with one hand and rolled up his sleeves, while he continued his monologue.

“I lied to the team that i came to this empty warehouse to strategize, so be a good slut for me and don’t waste our precious time.” He gently ran his fingers over the prominent outline of his size, which made his voice tremble with desire. 

“I saw my needy baby grinding while putting on her little show, so don’t you dare to deny how fucking wet you are for me.” You squeezed your thighs together and they remained stuck from how sticky he made you. “You knew exactly what you were doing so now it’s your job to finish what you started, sweet little thing. Don’t forget the fact that i own you.”

You realized how Obi-wan or even the enemy could catch him at any millisecond, so you quickly tossed the lightsaber on the bed, placed your hands in front of yourself and positioned your tiny body above it. 

“Yes s-sir!” You stuttered, but before you could start masturbating, you heard him say—

“Stop. I thought you were smarter than this. You forgot something. Words, sweetheart, words. What do good girls say?” His serious side always made your core drool. You remembered the missing essential and said it without hesitation.

“Thank you master!” His mean face finally released a small smile. 

“Now you can continue.”

You shifted until your painfully throbbing slit hovered directly over the part that was covered in ridges. As you slowly sank down on it, the cold touch of the remaining saliva sent a jolt through your body. You started humping on your little “toy“ back and forth, dragging your clit across the whole length of it. The friction made your breath come up in ragged gasps. You tried to glare into his lustful iris, but weren’t able to make contact with his gaze—as his eyes were already rolled back. A heavy moan escaped from your plump lips as he revealed his fully erected member, slamming it against his muscular abs. A puddle of precum pooled around the base of his dick and some of it already ran down to his thighs. The liquid glistened as the light reflected off it, but he spat in his palm to lubricate it even more. He started gliding his hands on his most sensitive area, while watching you chase your high. The holopad was set up in a way, that made it looked like he was towering over you, ready to finish on your face.

“You are the filthiest whore in the whole galaxy. I mean look at you, tiny Padawan of mine … skipping your stationing role, just so you can pleasure yourself at home.” He kisses his teeth, making a quiet ‘tsk’ sound. ” You’re fucking pathetic.“ He threw his head back as he degraded you. You tried to fasten your pace, but your legs started to shake unintentionally, to let you know that you won't last long. A knot started to form in your stomach, but Anakin shouted at you.

“Don’t you dare to cum yet. I didn’t give you permission. Don't be greedy.”

You whined as you gripped your sheets, trying to hold back your orgasm. You felt helpless under his force, but knew that his goal was to please you. He only edged you, to make you feel as good as possible at the end of the two of yours session. 

“Wow, such a good girl for me, you held it back. Now my princess gets rewarded for finally being obedient this time.“ He looked up at your face, then down to his old weapon in your hands and his lips curved into a smirk.

“Slide it in your pretty pussy. Ride my lightsaber as if it was my cock.” Anakin’s penis was aching, his whole body was shaking while he jerked off. 

“Spread your legs wider angel, will you? I want to see what's mine. Your warm cunt belongs to me.“ After his request your hole pulsed as if it had its own heartbeat. You aligned the “dildo” to your entrance and with one sharp movement you rammed it into your opening. You reached up to your chest to cup both of your breasts in your hands and gave them a rough squeeze before you pinched your nipples as Anakin's replacement kissed your cervix. You saw that he thrusted into his palm way faster than before and he became much more vocal.

“That’s it, that’s my girl. You are taking it sooo good.” His praises helped your orgasm to build up even more. 

“A-ani I'm close, I c-can’t take it anymore!“ He heard your scream so he looked up from under his eyebrows. You could see that pearly sweat streaks started to run down from his forehead and their route followed the scar mark on his eye.

“Beg for it. Can you do that, little one?” He demanded. “How much do you want it, hm? Show me. Make me proud.”

His hips haven't stopped since the call started, he fucked his palm restless so you knew that you had to trigger his weakest spot to get the job done.  

“I promise i’ll be your slave, your fucktoy when you come home and let you use me as a cumdumpster anytime, just please let me finish already.  Anakin it hurts!“ You whimpered while tears ran down from your cheeks to your chin. You started rapidly circling on your swollen clit and pumping into your soaked folds, sliding in and out his “stunt double”. You rubbed the stick against your G-spot repeatedly, pressing it tightly to the spongy spot. This was all he needed to hear and see.

“K-kay, let it happen baby, cum for me. Cmon, give it to me. Give me what’s mine.“ He commanded. 

Your back arched with grace as you went crashing over the edge. You collapsed on your bed into a puddle that your squirt made, mind blanking as waves of pleasure rolled through you. This meant the main attraction to Anakin, climax washed over him as his cock jerked—coating his palms with his hot seed, while screaming your name. 

“Fuck, you are something else. Good job kid.“ He panted as he dragged his pants back on. 

“See, i told you that you don’t need to leave your work for me.” You stuck out your tongue while giggling and kicking your feet. 

“You are not sick anymore, that's for sure. The only sick thing is what you promised me in return for your orgasm.“ He winked at you with his ocean blue eyes. “Good thing that Rex’s helmet recorded everything, so I will have proof.” 

Your eyes widened and you just couldn't believe what you heard.

“OH MY GOD—ANAKIN SKYWALKER, YOU SICK FUCK! Why didn’t you tell me that you made the call from his helmet?“ You screamed in anger, but your boyfriend just laughed in your face. 

“More risk, more fun doll.“ 

Before you could respond to his answer, a sharp knock echoed from his end of the connection. You could see the sudden shift in his expression, the way his shoulders stiffened. From offscreen, you heard Rex’s voice, low but clear—

“General Skywalker, you’ve got company.” 

Anakin cursed softly, his free hand running through his already-messy hair. He turned back to the holo-projector, his face conflicted. 

“The team found me, I have to go. I'll be home soon, so don’t forget our deal. Ni chuba du” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, the words in Huttese heavy with meaning. “I love you.” 

Before you could respond, the connection flickered out, the blue light vanishing, and you were left staring at the empty space where he had been.

[sgiandubh]

The door faces North

This has been, by far, one of the most complex investigations I have ever done in this fandom, and I am truly sorry for the long wait I had to inflict on many of you & for the uncharacteristic radio silence in DMs and comments. During this peculiar journey, I checked, double-checked and cross-checked as many details as I could and I carefully considered at least two different theories, of which I still think they do not exclude each other. I am now confident enough to make not only an educated guess, but also a daring bet on SRH's next whisky move.

Also, sorry for the length of this post. Truly sorry - think of the completely pulverized night sleep I had to give up, in order to bring this to you.

But first, a word on Marple's obvious PR tip on the Hopetoun Estate refurbishment and distillery old/new project. I am fair game enough to tell you the obvious: her overall recounting of the principals is roughly correct, spare perhaps one or two minor details. Correct, but dry - she limits herself to the technical documentation submitted by Golden Decanters and The Hopetoun Estates Trust to the West Lothian Council for approval. She correctly points out that S is not a visible part of the deal, at this point in time and she does a decent summing up of a very, very, VERY plethoric amount of bureaucratic information. She concludes, and I think she is partially right, that he might be interested in becoming an investor (I am taking things a bit further, though). But in doing so, she focuses on the development phase of the project only: the possible connections with SRH and his own spirits business are less, if at all, obvious.

I am going to give you my view of all this charade and, if I am going to mention (and probably repeat) some things already found by her, I am going to focus on the people: this is where the whole story starts to become remarkably interesting, at least to me. After all, I remember promising you some more clarity. Here's an honest, fair play take.

Little did I know, when I started to write about that (now defunct) company, Midhope Castle Distillery, Ltd (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/748597198794670080/the-info-provided-above-is-correct-but-outdated?source=share), that my investigation would turn to this:

... for it was to be just an almost random layer of a juggernaut matryoshka of defunct or still active companies, featuring roughly the same people and no less than 6 different name combinations centered around Midhope, Hopetoun, etc.

The following pics will give you an idea - feel free to open them in a separate tab, for clarity . I preferred this synthetic approach, because otherwise you will curse the shite out of me. But it had to be done, with or without Depon, Advil's Greek cousin (and before you ask a graphologist, this is my handwriting, and nobody else's 🙃):

The only explanation for the whole almost frantic Midhope/Hopetoun crisscross/hopscotch (LOL) combos I can think of is two people trying to secure one (several?) credit lines or to attract significant investors for their project and ultimately failing to do so. But I might be wrong (although I doubt that, thank you). Out of this entire maze ( I swear I now have a migraine), there are only two active companies remaining: Golden Decanters Ltd (renamed GD Spirits Ltd, in April 2022) and Midhope Ltd (renamed Skosk Ltd, in July 2023). It is on them I am going to focus my gaze.

GD Spirits Ltd was incorporated in Berwick-upon-Tweed, England (just across the Scottish border), probably for tax reasons, on March 11, 2015, the nature of its business being listed as 'wholesale of wine, beer, spirits, etc.'. It started with a team of two women: Julia Mackenzie-Gillanders and Ann Medlock, whose names we are going to see over and over again in all the eight corporate avatars. Later down the timeline (LOL for three decades and a half), on January 30, 2018, they were briefly (until July 19, 2018) joined by two very interesting professionals: Mrs. Margaret Boswell, an attorney at the very prestigious international law firm Gide Loyrette Nouel (Paris and London offices)...

...and Ken Robertson, former Corporate Affairs Director at Diageo Whisky, a subsidiary of the international Diageo group, one of the major players on the world spirits' market:

The second company, Skosk Ltd, was incorporated in August 2021, in Perth, Scotland, its nature of business being listed as 'distilling, rectifying and blending of spirits', with the clear intention to align with the exacting criteria prescribed by the 2009 Scotch Whisky Regulations:

[ Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotch_whisky - sorry, I don't have time to wax lyrical on this, and neither do you]

This time, we only meet again the two distillerettes, Gillanders and Medwick. Up until now, at least, nobody else (attorney, former sales executive, whisky expert) has joined the platoon - TBC? I would not speculate and leave all options open.

There is little to 0 transparency on Skosk's financial situation, at the moment and to be honest, it looks very much like S's co-star (hehe)'s Irish business venture...

... but I was a bit more lucky, and the numbers more chatty, as far as GD Spirits was concerned:

Paging all shipper chartered accountants out there, but to me, it doesn't look great, at the moment. Cash is ridiculous, the net worth is hemorrhaging and the current assets are negligible, compared to 2020, when I think they managed to secure one or two credit lines, but not nearly enough for what they needed. Just enough to pay themselves and their external consultants and cover the operating costs, if you ask me.

The revised Planning Statement, of 8 February 2024, posted first by Marple, echoes my initial guess (COVID blew it up, see link to the first post) and the above assessment:

Mark this: 'Discussions are now proceeding with investors and there is a realistic prospect that work will begin in the near future (2024/2025) to implement the permission.' Given that they will start with the road and parking rehabilitation and upgrading, probably overlapping with the distillery building, it would make sense to begin this autumn at the earliest, with the most urgent: access to the site itself.

The initial Planning Statement, dated 9 July 2020 and re-posted on March 21st, 2024, tells a more detailed story. This is part and parcel of the current project as well, since the revision is just pointing out the changes operated, not the entire rest, which remains unchanged. You be the judge:

Also keep in mind this tiny, tiny thing: the Business Plan is 'submitted (...) under Private and Confidential Cover'. See where I am looking?

The initial plan was (and still is) for GD Spirits to produce their own booze, using Midhope's own barley (this is very important for the rest of my theory!). They even offer an overview of the real impact of their project on the local economy:

20 to 38 initial new job creations for a £ 15 to 30 million investment is not 'huge', madam Marple. Cumbernauld is huge. This? This is rather modest, if you ask me. But hey, what do I know about the labor market, right?

That initial Statement tells also the story they want to tell about the genesis of their idea, the scouting for the right location and a couple of other interesting details:

So they are telling us they started to look for the perfect location in 2018 and oh, hello, they found the Hopetoun Estate rather quickly, already starting the pre-planning application consultations as early as July 2019 (don't get me started, please):

If so, then why did they incorporate not one, but two different companies clearly linking them to the Estate (Hopetoun Estate Distillery Ltd and Hopetoun Estate Whiskies Ltd) the same day and as early as May 23rd 2017 (and both dissolved in December 2022), as my above penciled timeline (LOOOOOL) shows? Who is really behind this project and why this entire ballet? It's like me pre-emptively looking for rental properties in (let's randomly guess) Lisbon, when it's just wishful thinking, heavily projecting and with 0 guarantees I will be posted there, right? I mean, I adore and deeply know Lisbon and I would be thrilled to go there. But I am not currently looking for any rental property, just like that, because that would be a #silly, rookie mistake. In their case, I think there's a different situation - again, you be the judge.

A first answer, as to who is really behind that project, was given by the UK media, back in 2020:

How odd, when we know that both Mrs. Boswell, the well-traveled attorney and Mr. Robertson resigned from GD Spirits in July 2018. Do they still say hi to the two distillerettes? Do they quietly keep an eye on the project? Are they silent partners? Business angels? Shareholders? Time to remind you that under UK law, there is 0 visibility on the shareholder's structure of a company. You just see the officers (Director, Secretary, etc), on the Company House website. On an umpteenth, last- second cross-check, it became apparent that Mr. Robertson remained involved in another company of the distillerettes, Hopetoun Estate Whiskies Ltd (yes, the one mentioned above), until its voluntary strike-off, in December 2022.

Their best laid plans do mention OL, and how could it be otherwise? But all this £ 15 to 30 million hullaballoo for 20.000 people only (who counted them and how?), on a seasonal basis?

High-end restaurant, luxury B&B, event spaces, you name it. Interesting, to say the least.

And, for the people in the back, who still think SRH has a 100 years lease at Midhope (Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, the stupidity!):

This is why he commented as a 'member of the public'. At face value, there is no public involvement into that project. Yet. But it is my belief there is a vested interest in all this, justifying the comment, the visit, those papers rolled in his fist, etc. At first, I thought that was a visit to Lallybroch by the Exec Producer of OL's Season 8, to discuss technicalities - and shared that privately with a wonderful friend only. I mean, why not and still perfectly possible. But then, as I could not sleep tonight and felt guilty to have you all waiting, I started to connect some tiny dots.

Like this one, for a start:

Yes, I know, Marple told you that FIRST, I would not dare say otherwise, because if I did there would be a transcontinental screech. That trademark application was filed at the US Patent and Trade Office in September 2023 and I thought (and still partially do) it was a potential rebranding solution to The Sassenach's EUIPO nightmare (much exaggerated by the fandom's toothbrush experts):

But you also know I am an idiot and I always check people's CVs, when I follow a thread. This morning, the one Distillerette I am particularly interested in is Mrs. Julia Hall-Mackenzie-Gillanders (née Scales) and not like *urv would be.

Her LinkedIn profile is exceptionally talkative, too:

... and a BA (with Honors) in Fashion Design, class of 2005, at the Northumbria University.

The Financial Times article 'From packing boxes to wine deals worth millions', you can read on her LinkedIn page, tells a very interesting story. It is the story of a shy underdog (lots of temple bells clinging, at the moment), who made it by sheer persistence. It starts like this:

'When a painfully shy young woman contacted a fine wine merchant and said ' I have no qualifications- can I help?', she got the job and today is signing deals worth millions of pounds.'

It obviously did ring a bell and if SRH knows she exists (she is married, *urv!), and I dare to speculate he does, it must have struck a deep chord. Would I do business with her? I wouldn't speculate, although I am not very sure. Would he? He'd probably listen very carefully to what she has to pitch, for a start.

And what she has to pitch is also very interesting, in his world. A brief look at the Golden Decanters' website shows a first high-end single malt sourced collection of 4 exceptional expressions already sold out:

And when they mean high-end, they mean gold leaf labelling and all the tralala:

And, some last minute news, too:

Remind me, because I am an old woman, after this white night: wasn't The Sassenach (no comment, we agree to disagree and I am very skeptical), a blend?

We have these dots, then:

Bold Underdog ->spirits business->high-end collection of single malts sold out->business partnership with owners of Midhope Castle, fictional Lallybroch in OL, including a distillery and whisky production with Midhope/Lallybroch barley -> visit by the male lead and spirits entrepreneur (also the fictional Lallybroch laird) to Midhope/Lallybroch and vested interest in the estate's most recent business project....

What if The Sassenach would be included, for a start, in that new Blended Collection? And could it really be fanfic to imagine a future high-end, limited edition, Lallybroch whisky produced at Midhope, with Midhope/Lallybroch barley? It wouldn't be the first time, would it: after all, they did it with that limited tequila batch.

As I said, because I am (remember Someone? LOL) a 'silly cow', I was hoping he wouldn't do it. But my guess is he might very well do exactly that, with those people and under that label.

It's half past eight AM, local time and I need a strong, black coffee.

I rest my case (and I am bracing myself for the screeching). I will answer Anons later, after I come back from the hairdresser's. Appointments must be kept at all costs. Thank you all for your patience.

[punksocks]

Astrology Observations No.13

-just my opinions, please take them with a grain of salt !

-Libras tend to only give significant attention to people they think are beautiful/pretty. (So if a libra man is messing around in your dms, you at least know you’re pretty! Lol) Subtly I’ve noticed that Taurus placements tend to do this as well? Like, they don’t write off people in the way some Libras do but I haven’t seen someone with Taurus in the big 6 dating someone that isn’t attractive or at least aesthetically pleasing.

-Stellium in 3rd/ mars in 3rd/ Gemini Mars and Stellium in 6th/ mars in 6th/ Virgo Mars: do you find yourself multitasking all the time? I find that multitasking helps me finish tasks faster 9 times out of 10. Like I need to have my attention in a few places at once to be efficient. (I love podcasts and drawing)

-Neptune conjunct moon, Pisces moon, moon in 12th: you have really deep intuition but not much clarity that comes with it. Like I had this like intense instinct go off that i was going to run into something one I cut off last year- and I was right! But only halfway lol, totally different dude than I expected lol. It’s like shaking a magic 8 ball, you’ve got an answer but not the answer lol.

-I agree that your moon sign shows the most of your true personality, especially as you get past like 25. But with sun conjunct moon I’ve had a tricky time spotting this. I think it’s clearest with Aries and Aquarius moons for me. Aries moons have so much energy and they grow into being real leaders as they get older, and Aquarius moons have real stand out opinions and tend to live in their uniqueness more and attempt to conform less as they get older.

-Mercury in 3rd or Gemini or natal retrograde can mean you’re incapable of writing short little text messages lol. You either write a paragraph or send a lot of little texts successively.

-I find that Venus/Libra dominant people can be very charming in public and really judgmental in private/anonymously. They don’t want their opinions to clash with their pleasing persona.

-Scorpio sun + Sagittarius moon/ Sagittarius sun + Scorpio Moon doesn’t mean you have to be wild but oml they’ve been some of the most extreme people I’ve ever met. I feel like these people are always bringing BIG energy into the room and changing things around them with that Jupiter/Pluto double whammy. (I have stories about every person I’ve known with those placements but my go to is an aunt that had a boyfriend that bought her a car and a dog and she crashed the car, abandoned the dog with my grandma, and broke up with the guy. He’s doing better now lol.)

-But on the flip side, Capricorn placements can bring in Saturn type changes and lesson to any environment they come into. I have a stellium so it’s hard for me to separate all the categories where I’ve seen places fall apart (usually work places and bad bosses but it applies to everyone)

But for sun- people get insecure and start acting from a place of ego, moon- emotional tension gets tested and people are more likely to react from petty places, Mercury- communication and technology that was patched together falls through in the weak places and systems get overwhelmed; Jupiter- Luck runs out for those that are flying by the seat of their pants and don’t really know what they’re doing; Neptune- no more delusions are allowed, lies and duplicity are exposed

And after I’ve left those places and their dysfunction behind it seems like the lessons continue on even more. I’m not sure why the effect lingers, except that Saturn will make you learn or punish you.

[mrinafria]

Lovely Runner on Netflix from August 1.

Oh the laugh I laughed. Their struggle so far has been VERY real xD

@ Netflix, now you can use actual scenes from the show instead of recycling Wooseok and Hyeyoon's old shows on your platform. Must have been hard lol>>>

Excuse me in advance for acting all elite and shizz xD but I'll always take pride in the fact that I chose this show when it was nothing. When only a few of us, scattered across the globe, thought of watching a show with no ratings, no promotions, a single very basic poster, no hype. It was this tiny thing, our small weekly dose of happiness. Our Monday-Tuesday therapy.

I'm so grateful to have been there seeing it grow and flourish till this point. As an OG audience, the motherly instincts and the urge to protect the show and the cast at all costs is so real I'm just T-T

Live watching Lovely Runner has been a glorious experience, with all the anticipation, no spoilers, 124312 theories, detectiv-ing, inferencing, group chats, dms, edits, essays, character/scene analyses and all those sleep deprived nights and days because time zones are a thing. It allowed me to meet some of the sweetest, warmest, most sensible people from different corners of the world. It allowed me to love Wooseok and Hyeyoon and everyone in the cast and crew who wanted to tell a beautiful story and went above and beyond given the means available to them. It allowed me to unleash my inner unhinged fangirl that I thought I had long left behind. I just. have. a lot of. feelings.

But also to the people who'd get to experience it for the first time: you are in for a ride. I wish I could do this all over again, but I also don't because an experience like this should be once in a lifetime imo. I really hope y'all obsess over it as much as I do. I hope you cherish this because it's a show well worth cherishing for an eternity.

Love, OG Subeom

[love-and-deepspace-wiki]

Helloooo your blog is a liver saver for lore enthusiast like me! You know, although infold hadn't release much info on certain crucial aspect in the game but I was wondering what's your take or theory on how Protocore Syndrome works? Is it just another name for a Heart failure Disease or something more? Would love to read more of your fanon idea on it! And thank you for creating this amazing wiki blog! 💕💕💕

Ayyyy lore enthusiasts gang~ And of course! Thank you for reading! Sorry this took SO long to reply to. Had to do some major studying for this one lol.

I want to start off by saying that medical knowledge is not my area of expertise, so this is purely a layman's best interpretation based on everything I could learn at Google University 🤣 I managed to decipher her electrocardiogram (ECG/EKG) report results. But as for what irl diagnosis those results indicate, I simply lack the expertise required to deduce that answer. Even though I couldn't answer the second part of your question (believe me, I tried so hard 😭), I hope this post is still useful to you! To any medical or med school folk out there, now is your time to shine and save the day (pls 🙏).

How Protocore Syndrome Works?

The basic in-game description of Protocore Syndrome is very rudimentary and doesn't really give us a lot to go off of. But here's what we know:

Protocore Syndrome: From the "Deepspace Messages" section of the in-game Spacepedia resource, we learn that it is a unique disease caused by Protocores. There are different types, and they harm the human body in various ways. Currently, the known types are A, E, and Y

Type Y Protocore Syndrome: From the description given in the World Underneath story "No Morning", we learn that it is a heart syndrome that involves that hides in various organs and systems, with a long latency period, and slow progression. By the time it's detected, it's often too late. There is currently no known cure.

Still digging for concrete information to confirm the protaganist's diagnosis, but the story seems to infer she has Protocore Syndrome. (If you have any screenshots or resources that definitively identify her condition, pls dm me and I'll credit you).

From Zayne's statements during her chapter 1 appointment, we learn that she has Protocore fragments in her heart. He goes on to specify the following symptoms:

Heart arrhythmia

Premature ventricular contractions (PVCs)

Heart murmurs

The game shows us glimpses of her medical paperwork too. We are shown her ECG report and summary. After covering her report, I'll explain some potential discrepancies (emphasis on "potential" since I'm nowhere near an expert lol).

ECG Basics:

We're going to get a little technical here. But I think we'll get the most value from the analysis once we understand what we're looking at. The ECG shown in-game is a standard 12-lead report, producing 12 individual strips.

Leads:

There are the six limb leads: I, II, III, aVR (augmented vector right), aVL (augmented vector left), and aVF (augmented vector foot).

Then, there are the six chest leads: V1, V2, V3, V4, V5, and V6.

Intervals & Waves:

For the report details to make more sense, here's a quick reference to aid in the interpretation of different waves, wave interval, gain settings, and speed settings.

And, based on the gain and speed settings detailed below, each small square on her chart represent 40 milliseconds (ms) and each large squares represents 200 ms.

ECG Report Analysis:

Gain, Speed, and Heart Rate:

Gain: 10 mm/mV

Gain is a setting on an ECG machine that controls the size of an ECG trace. The standard gain setting is 10mm/mV, meaning that 10 mm on the screen represents 1 millivolt (mV) of voltage. It appears that Akso Hospital's ECG adheres to this standard.

Speed: 25 mm/s

Speed is the paper speed setting on an ECG machine. So, the Akso Hospital's ECG machine is set to 25 mm/s (meaning that each small square on the chart represents 0.04 seconds).

Heart rate: 85 bpm

Pretty self-explanatoty, but this measures how many times her heart beats within one minute. For women, a normal resting heart rate is considered 60-100 bpm, and hers is within this range.

PR Interval: 138 ms

The PR Interval (or PQ Interval) is the distance between the start of the P wave and the start of the QRS complex. A normal PR Interval is between 120 - 200 ms. Since hers is 138 ms, she falls within the normal range.

QT & QTC Intervals:

QT Interval: 347 ms

The QT Interval is the time between the start of the QRS segment and the end of the T wave. It measures the electrical activity of the heart's ventricles. For a heart rate of 85 bpm, a normal QT Interval would generally be 380 ms or less. So, hers is normal.

QTC Interval: 411 ms

The QTC Interval is the corrected QT interval (thats what the "c" is for). It represents the time it takes the heart's ventricles to contract and relax. It is calculated by adjusting the QT interval for heart rate. A normal QTC interval for women is usually less than 460 ms. Since hers is 411 ms, she's within the normal range.

P, T, and QRS Wave Axes:

P Wave Axis: 38°

The P wave axis tells us the net direction of the P wave. A normal P wave axis is usually between 0° and 75°. Since hers is 38°, it falls within the normal range.

T Wave Axis: 65°

The T wave tells us the net direction of the T wave. A normal P wave axis is usually between 15° and 75°. Since hers is 65°, it is within the normal range.

QRS Axis: 35°

The QRS Axis tells us the average direction of electrical activity in the heart during ventricular depolarization. A normal adult QRS axis is between -30° and 90°. Since hers is 35°, she falls within the normal range.

SV1 and RV5:

SV1: 0.94 mV

SV1 represents the voltage of the S wave from the V1 lead. It is used to detect ventricular hypertrophy. A normal SV1 is considered to be less than 2.5 mV and hers is within this range.

RV5: 0.85 mV

The RV5 represents the voltage of the R wave from the V5 lead. It is used to measure electrical activity in the left ventricle. An RV5 reading is considered normal if it is less than 3.5 mV and hers is within this range.

QRS Interval: 71 ms

The QRS Interval the interval between the start of the Q wave and the end of the S wave. Represents the time it takes for electrical impulses to spread through the ventricles. A normal QRS Interval is 70-100 ms. Since hers is 71 ms, she's within the normal range.

Potential Discrepancies:

Okay. So, I thought it was a bit strange that all of her ECG readings were within the normal ranges. But I genuinely don't know if a patient can be diagnosed with an irl heart condition despite having an ECG that appears normal. Maybe its a diagnosis determined by other criteria we aren't shown?

Additionally, I looked up ECG strip examples of both cardiac arrhythmias and premature ventricular contractions (PVCs). And comparing them with her charts, I don't see indications of those symptoms in there.

[lainiespicewrites]

Someone to take her home

Hey guys so I wrote this a while ago! This is a Henry one shot it an OFC because I'll die on the self insert hill! LOL it gives me so much comfort. Is that weird IDK. Anyway this story is kind of heavy. I wrote this to get out some feelings about an SA that I had experienced. I've always been someone that if I'm stressed I rewrite the situation with a comforting outcome or a better outcome to release the stress or make myself feel better. I wanted to sort of write myself a way to get some comfort from the trauma. And I hope having a character like this sweet soft version of Henry may help some of you too. I never reached out for myself for help and maybe I should have but if you experienced something please talk to someone. If you need someone to talk to or just want a place to let it out my DM's are a safe space <3 Just as disclaimer this doesn't mention any of the actual situation that happened to me. Just a filler to get out the emotion. Still this is a fluff with lots of love and sweet gentle young Henry bc I just know in my soul this was and is how he is as a person!

Warnings: Light Cursing, Trauma, Mentions of sexual assault. (Please reach out for help even if it's just talking to someone about your situation. My DM's are open if y'all wanna talk after this <3)

Description: OFC goes to college party and meets Henry and they become fast friends. and he helps her when things turn bad with a guy he warned her about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared at myself in the mirror one more time. I needed to leave soon. If I looked any longer I would find something I hated and talk myself out of going. So I grabbed my bag and turned off my bedroom light. Nervous didn’t begin to describe how I was feeling. I’d never been to a party like this before. Sure I’d been out a few times in high school. But it was usually theater cast parties. And one time my friend and I stole some captain morgan from her parents liquor cabinet. But this was on an entirely different scale. 

Most of my drinking was a night in with the girls with wine or movie night drinking games. God I sound so boring. It’s not that I don’t enjoy partying. I was genuinely excited to be invited out tonight. Lilly and I had worked together for a few assignments in class. And we would say hi when we ran into each other in the dorms. But, I never expected to get a text this afternoon inviting me to her boyfriend's party. Purdue was an incredibly large campus. Upwards of 40,000 plus students. Yet somehow Lilly’s boyfriend Riley Hardesty seemed to know everyone. He was known for throwing huge parties all year. They weren’t exclusive. You could just be driving through the neighborhood and stop in.  But she told me a friend of  Riley’s had asked her about me. 

Matt Parker. I know of him. He’s in my English 204 lecture. But we’ve never talked. But he is really attractive. So maybe something good would come from all of this! I decided just to walk as my dorm wasn’t far from the house Riley and his roommates lived in. It was a cool night in mid october and I was definitely regretting the little black denim skirt I was wearing. I was smart enough to wear a cardigan but it was still cold. Thank God it's only 2 blocks down. I bit my lip nervously. Am I even going to know anyone here? Anyone I actually talk to? It’s too late now. I already got dressed and ready. I walked here. I have to go through with this. 

I took a deep breath and walked inside. Things were already full swing. I could hear the music outside before I even opened the door. No one seemed to notice me and honestly I was okay with that. I looked around scanning the room. Almost everyone had a drink in hand, standing around in groups talking. The smell of  pot hit me immediately as I started to walk through the house. I wasn’t  the least bit surprised. I made my way to the kitchen where I found multiple drinks, alcohol and mixers available. I kept it simple and grabbed a wine cooler. Something fruity. I was definitely going to need a buzz if I was going to be here longer than 5 minutes.

 I pushed my way out of the kitchen and found a quiet corner to drink and observe for a while. I was busy listening to some guys talk about last weekend's football game when I heard someone’s voice. And I realized they were talking to me. I shifted my eyes seeing a guy standing next to me. He was maybe 6’1, blue eyes, and brown hair with soft curls. I gave him a gentle smile,

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I asked. He smiled and chuckled softly. His smile was beautiful. 

“I uh, Just noticed your shirt. Are you a Def Leppard fan?” He asked. I looked down. I completely forgot that was the shirt I was wearing. I just thought a band t-shirt would look cute with the skirt. But

“Yeah! Well I know a few of their songs! My Mom was in her 20’s in the 80’s and she loved them!” I said. 

“She has good taste! They’re awesome! Are you here by yourself? Not trying to be creepy I just noticed you were by yourself over here and I wanted to make sure you were alright,” He rambled. I nodded.

“I look that out of place huh? Yeah, I um. I’m friends with Riley’s girlfriend. Well not friends necessarily. But I know her. Anyway she invited me because of some friend of Riley’s but I don’t know this isn’t normally my scene. Wow that was a lot,” I blushed. “Sorry,” I mumbled. 

“For?” He smiled, raising an eyebrow. “We’re talking. I like getting to know people! And I totally get it. This can kind of be a lot sometimes. I actually came with some friends but I needed to step away from all the crazy for a second. I’m Henry by the way.” He smiled, extending his hand. I took it and He squeezed mine softly. 

“Alayna!” I said. 

“It’s nice to meet you!” He smiled. “Which one of Riley’s friends? If you don't mind me asking,” He raised an eyebrow. 

“Matt Parker,” I said bluntly. “You know him,” Henry took a sip of his beer and nodded. 

“I do, He’s alright. We’re sort of friends I suppose. He may have good intentions. Listen, I know you don’t need my advice, but just be careful around him. I don’t know what you were expecting with him or hoping for. But he can be a little, well, if I had a daughter I wouldn’t trust him with her. But I could be wrong. I’m sorry, that was a bit much. I don't want to ruin your evening,” He said. 

“For?” I smirked copying his face from earlier. “You seem to have pure intentions. Just looking out for someone. That’s really kind of you actually. I honestly don't know what I was expecting. But I can handle myself. I didn’t really come out tonight for him. I wanted to actually let loose and have fun for once. I’ve been trying to have more adventures, meet new people, make new friends.” I smiled looking him in the eyes on that last part. He gave me a big smile and held out his beer bottle to cheers me. 

“To new friends,” He spoke and we clinked our bottles together. “I like you, I mean talking to you.” He said. 

“I like talking to you too! I was honestly super anxious about coming tonight. I was worried I’d be too anxious and awkward to have fun or it would be too much. Because this is a lot. I’m 100% sure I saw someone do coke off the kitchen counter. But I’m actually enjoying myself. Right now anyway.” I laughed. Henry chuckled. 

“Good! Well, I’m going to go find my friends but, what's your number? I’ll send you a text real quick and if you get overwhelmed or uncomfortable  or need to escape all of this for a bit come find me! Or text me. I’d be happy to be there for you.  And we can just chill out for a while.” I smiled and gave him my phone number. It was nice to meet someone as kind as Henry. You don’t meet a lot of people that… genuine and gentlemanly in places like this. He gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before he walked off to find his friends. I wandered off to get another drink while I was standing in the kitchen waiting to grab another wine cooler. I felt someone lay their arm across my shoulder. 

“Hey gorgeous,” I recognized Matt’s voice. I gave him a soft smile. 

“Hi,” I spoke. 

“I’m glad you came tonight, You having a good time,” He asked, clearly buzzed. 

“Yeah,” I said tentatively “One hell of a party!” I laughed. 

“For sure!” He smiled and moved to the side of me taking his arm off my shoulder. “What are you drinking babe?” He asked. 

“Just Mike's lemonade.” I chuckled awkwardly. 

“Aw come on girl you can do something stronger than that huh?” He joked. I shook my head.

“I probably could but I’d rather not get sick.” I said. 

“Aw well come on at least do a shot with me?” He asked, giving me a puppy dog face and pouting. “Just tequila, we got training wheels!” He added. 

“I don’t know… I don’t wanna get too crazy,” I said. 

“Nah, it’ll be alright, it’ll just loosen you up a bit!” He spoke already pouring the shots. He slid one over to me. And a piece of lime. “Ready?” I picked up the shot and stared at it questioningly. 

“Alright,” He smiled. We clicked the glasses and hit them against the table before taking the shot. It was super bitter. I immediately followed it with the lime. But it didn’t help much. When I looked up again Matt had gotten me another Mike’s from the cooler.

“Atta girl!” He smirked. He took a step closer and I took the drink from him. Then I heard someone call his name from across the house. They were starting another game of beer pong. “That’s my que babe, but wait for me yeah? I’ll come back to you after this game!” He smirked and left a wet kiss on my cheek before running off to join the boys. 

Charming is certainly not a word I would use to describe him. But he’s nice. And he’s just trying to make sure I have fun. There’s no harm in that. I wandered around the party again. I opened up my new bottle and tossed the cap on a nearby coffee table. I thought about watching the beer pong game but I honestly wasn’t interested. I found the door leading to the backyard and saw there was a bonfire going. I stepped outside and found an empty seat by the fire. I watched it crackle for a bit and took a long sip of my drink. I felt a warmth inside me and knew it was coming from the alcohol. I started to relax as I listened to the fire and the white noise of the people chatting around me. It was a gorgeous night.

“Hey!” I heard a voice from behind me. “Funny meeting you out here!” Henry spoke, pulling up a chair next to me.

“Hey!” I said excitedly. “It’s calm out here. I like it!” I said. Henry smiled. 

“I do too, I love a good fire. Fuels the soul.” He half joked. 

“ I love the smell! Is that weird?” I laughed. 

“No,” He chuckled softly “Not at all! So, besides the band on that very cool shirt, What other music do you like?” Henry asked, leaning back in his chair and taking a long swig of his beer. 

“Oh all kinds. I’m a big lover of the stuff from the 70s though! Elton John, Heart, the Beatles, I guess they’re technically 60’s. I know it’s kind of old school but. I feel like they just don’t make music like that anymore.” I explained. 

“Classic! I like it,” He smiled. 

“What about you?” I asked. 

“Oh I’m all over the place too. I’m actually a big country fan!” He smirked. 

“I wouldn’t have expected that from you but I respect it. It’s not my favorite genre but there are definitely some good ones there!” I smiled. Henry and I chatted for a while. We talked about our majors. He's a history major. Where we’re from, he has an accent but I didn’t want to ask and be weird about it. He told me he’s from the UK. We talked about books, history and our friends. It was nice. A little while later I felt an arm around my shoulder again. I knew it was Matt. 

“There she is! Did you think I forgot about you babe?” He asked. 

“No,” I smiled blushing softly. He smiled. 

“Hey Henry! Are you having a good time, man?” He asked. Henry nodded and finished his beer. 

“Yeah! Actually I should go get another one. It was nice talking to you Alayna!” He smiled at me before he got up and left. I don’t know why but I could tell Henry wasn’t the biggest fan of Matt. He said they were friends earlier but I think he was just trying to be nice

I was shaken from the thought when I heard Matt’s voice again. 

“Hey, follow me!” He said enthusiastically. 

“Okay,” I smiled. I got up and followed him back inside. He led us upstairs and down the hall to what I assume was his room. 

“Too many people out there, I wanted to be alone with you,” He smiled. 

“That’s really sweet! It is pretty crowded.” I said. 

“Yeah,” He said blankly. “Are you enjoying the party?” He asked. 

“I am,” I said half telling the truth. I enjoyed talking to Henry. 

“God you’re so gorgeous,” He said. “I always want to talk to you in class but you always leave so quickly I never get the chance.” He said. 

“Thank you,” I blushed. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked. I don’t know if I wanted it or if it was the alcohol but I nodded. He smirked and leaned in kissing me on the lips. It was gentle at first but then he quickly started using tongue. I felt kind of awkward. So I backed away. “Oh sorry, you okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” I lied. He just nodded and went back to kissing me. I kissed him back a bit but then I felt him start to feel me up. I froze. I really didn’t want that. He moved his hand under my shirt and I stopped him. 

“Uh Matt, I really don’t know about this.” I said nervously. He pulled back 

“It’s fine, nobody's gonna come in, don't worry about it.” He said and started kissing my neck. Oh god this sucks. 

“No I mean. I don’t… want to do this.” I stuttered. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun babe, it’ll be alright.” He kept feeling me up and continued kissing me. I felt stuck. He pushed himself against me, grinding into me. He moaned. I swallowed hard. Fuck, I really didn’t want this. 

“No, Matt, I really don’t want to.” I said again. 

“Shhh just go with it.” he said, shushing me. “You’ll enjoy it, I promise.” He said, sliding his hand under my skirt and rubbing his fingers against me. 

“No, stop Matt,” I said again, my voice quivering. He was definitely stronger than me. He used his other hand to take himself out of his shorts and he grabbed my hand putting it on him while he kept touching me, forcing his fingers inside. It hurt. I don’t know how but finally I found the strength to push him away from me. He stumbled back and fell against the bed and I ran out of the room. I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes already but I had to get out of this house. I quickly ran down the stairs and out the front door. Matt was pretty drunk so I don’t even think he tried to follow me. I walked a little way down the street and stopped letting out a sob. What the hell just happened. How did I let that happen? How could I have been stupid enough to trust him or follow him? I didn’t know what to do. I probably should have headed back to the dorm but I didn’t want to be alone right now. I took to my phone trying to think of who to talk to. 

I saw I had a text. It was Henry. “Hey it’s me! Henry I mean lol feel free to text me anytime.” I sent him a quick text taking a deep breath and trying to pull myself together. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I was so stupid. He tried to warn me. 

“Hey, it’s Alayna, where are you?” I sent it. To my surprise he responded almost immediately. 

“By the fire, You okay?” it read. 

“Would you wanna go on a walk with me?” I asked. There’s no way I could go back there. 

“Sure :) where are you?” 

“On the front sidewalk like 3 houses down toward campus.” 

“Be right there!” true to his word about 2 minutes later I saw him walking down the sidewalk toward me. 

“How are you?” He asked. 

“Good,” I nodded absentmindedly. 

“Were you leaving?” He asked.

I um,” I stuttered “Yeah, it was just… too much. I was gonna head home. I feel stupid I was just gonna walk home. I'll be fine, I’ll let you have fun. I don’t wanna interrupt your night.” I rambled. 

“No! Please do! I’d be happy to walk you home. Talking with you was the most fun I had tonight actually.” He stated simply. I smiled weakly.

“I’m glad.” I said. 

“Are you alright?” He asked me. I sighed trying not to get emotional. 

“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed and tired.” I lied. We walked in silence for a bit. I couldn’t believe how kind he was. The fact that he would leave his friends to walk me home. He was genuinely concerned about me. That feeling made me even more overwhelmed and finally after everything I could help but start crying. I felt like I had no control over my body as I started to sob. I felt my shoulders start to shake. Henry stopped and put his hands on my shoulders.

“Alayna what's wrong?” He asked me. I tried so hard to speak.

“He wouldn’t.. And I said… no, but he kept…” it all came out in broken sobs. Henry didn’t say anything. He just pulled me into him and hugged me tightly. After a few seconds. I started to calm down and tried to steady my breathing. 

“Shh it’s alright,  just breathe.” I heard him say. I slowed my breathing. “Did he touch you?” He asked gently, trying not to upset me again. I couldn’t speak, I just nodded. Henry went stiff. I looked up and saw his jaw was clenched. “Mother fucker,” He mumbled quietly under his breath. Then he spoke louder “Do you want to go talk to someone? Like report it?” He asked. Again his voice was gentle. I shook my head. 

“I can’t, I know I should but I really can’t, not now.” I said. He nodded. 

“Okay, well let's get you home.” He said. I started to walk again. Henry kept an arm around me as we walked. We were quiet the whole way there. He walked me all the way to the door. Wanting to make sure I got in okay.

“Thank you,” I said. But just as he turned to leave I grabbed his hand. “Wait, please don’t go.” I said, trying not to sound desperate. Not that I had the energy to care. 

“You want me to stay?” he asked. I nodded. 

“Yeah, no, I .. I don’t .. You don’t have to, I’ll be okay.” I said. 

“Hey,” He paused, grabbing my hand. “It’s okay, I don’t mind.” So I took off my shoes and slipped into the bathroom to change into some shorts. I laid in my bed and Henry sat next to me. “Do you want to watch something?” He asked. I nodded. And turned on my TV scrolling aimlessly. I stopped on some old 90’s sitcom. 

“Thank you, for staying,” I said. 

“You shouldn’t be alone right now. And I meant what I said. I had more fun talking to you tonight than with anyone else.” He smiled sympathetically. 

“I did too,” I said.  I sat up going to kiss him but he stopped me.

“Not tonight, darling. Believe me I would love to kiss you. But I think you’ll regret it later if you do this now. I like you. I’m not going anywhere. Let's take this slow. You’ve been through a lot tonight. I’ll still be here when you’re ready. But I think tonight you need to rest.” he said. The universe gave me Henry tonight. If I hadn’t ran into him. I’d have been alone after being sexually assaulted by a guy I barely know. Any other guy wouldn’t have treated me like him. He was so gentle and respectful. He was genuinely looking out for my best interest when he could’ve taken advantage of my vulnerability. I just nodded.

“I’m sorry that was stupid.” I sighed. 

“No, it wasn’t” he put his arm around me pulling me into his side and I naturally rested my head on his chest. “You don’t need to apologize. Try to get some rest.” He spoke gently. I could hear his heartbeat and my breath slowed to match the rhythm. Eventually so did he. I looked up to find him asleep with his arm still around me. I settled in snuggling into his side. All the noise around me slowly faded away and I finally got to rest, falling asleep in Henry’s arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That’s it you guys please let me know what you think. I love you all so much! You’ve shown my writing so much love 🥰

[theforgottencrow]

WAIT YOU'RE AN ANGEL HARE FAN??? ... favorite character and season?

Seriously I am so happy, fellow Angel Hare Fan SPOTTED!

Yes!!! Yes I am!! I love Angel hare it’s sort of like a comfort show for me? I dunno how to explain it well sorry- BUT YEAH BIG FAN!!!

Favorite character? I’d have to say it’s tied between Cammy and Zaggy!! I absolutely adore Gabby aswell, she’s more or less my main comfort character from that series.

As for why Cammy is my favorite, I relate to them a bit. What they were trying to achieve and the fact that they were slowly destroying themselves over trying to be perfect in their attempt to help Segen; I know that feeling and that experience so I kinda kin them in a way lol…

And for Zaggy I like how his character was used within the story! How he was written and portrayed as someone the watcher should not fully trust due to his behavior and how he withheld information from Jonah when searching for Gabby. As well as just his overall demeanor and how he progressed the story in season 2.

Now as for favorite season? Gosh that’s hard because both season 1 & 3 hold a special place in my heart <:3

Season one is relatable for me because of the things going on with Jonah and how I relate to those themes with stuff that happened to me as a kid; and It’s especially where Gabby is my comfort character the most TvT

Season 3 is obviously where Cammy is most shown which is one factor of it and the other being just the overall writing of it. How it portrays just how much Cammy was affected by what Jonah did and the aftermath with Segen really just hits different.

sorry for the long ramble :”3

I haven’t been able to talk with anyone about my interest in Angel Hare at all since I joined the fandom quite a while back lol…..

But yeah seeing a fellow Angel hare enjoyer really is exciting!!! If you ever wanna talk more abt it with me weither in DMs or simple Inbox thingys I’d be glad to do so!!!

@a-person-on-the-internet

(tagging u just in case bc sometimes inbox answers don’t notify the person)

[onigiriforears]

After approx. 2-3 months of studying Japanese I started to read free graded readers online and then graduated to a collection of short stories that I purchased off of Amazon. I thought that the reason I was starting to have trouble understanding sentences was because I didn't know enough vocabulary but it was because I neglected grammar completely. It was sorta drilled into my head off of Youtube creators to just study kanji, vocab and simple sentences as much as possible before even touching grammar. I feel absolutely lost, dude. I am at the 5 month mark now. I can "breeze through" kanji for the most part. (as in, I can actually retain it in a decent amount of time) I decided to study grammar about a week ago. It is SO FREAKING HARD. I don't know if there's something wrong with me or what. I don't know if it's supposed to feel like what I thought I knew is being ripped apart at the seams, stapled together, and then torn apart again....but it does.

Do you have any tips for learning grammar? Is this feeling normal? Can you tell me when the pressure in my skull will subside? I am using Bunpro's free trial but I'm unsure if this tool will actually help me. I write tons of notes to flip through but I still fail to give them the nuanced answer they're looking for. I really enjoy the setup of Bunpro and I want to like it since it's similar to WK but I'm not sure if I'm going too fast or there's a better way to learn. I stopped learning 5 new grammar points a day and started doing only 2. (I also have Genki I and watch GameGengo. He explains things in a way that's easy for my brain to understand.) Sorry for the long post but any insight would be appreciated. I'm a bit nervous asking people in the language learning community for help or insight because a lot of them treat it as a way to show how fast they learned/1-up others. Tumblr's langlearn community is a lot different with what I've seen (or maybe I'm just following the right ppl lol)

Hi! Thank you so much for waiting for this response--I'm sorry it took so long. Your message was one of the ones that popped up when they locked my ask box (they actually still haven't answered me on why it was locked so 🤷‍♀️). To make up for that, I'm gonna be longwinded because I think that this is a super valid and important question that others may also want to know the answer to!!

Pls pls PLEASE DM me if none of this is helpful or if you'd like to talk more about what you think you need help with!!

I think that sometimes when we're learning a new language that we know is so overwhelmingly different from our own language, we focus on the things that we think will be the main hinderance and sometimes we forget the key points. You might be thinking "how did I forget grammar?" but I would say don't beat yourself up about it! Many of us focus on the things that we think are our problems(--the last time I studied for the JLPT, I focused on my weak point too much and then was frustrated with myself during the exam bc I neglected the other areas.)

I don't want to lie to you and say that learning grammar is going to get easier because that's not the case for everyone. Think of learning grammar vs everything else as learning different types of math or science--have you ever had a friend that was absolutely phenomenal at algebra or calculus but couldn't do geometry? Or a friend that was wonderful lab partner in chemistry but struggled in biology? They're struggling in biology because it requires a ton of rote memorization in comparison to practical application and math that's present in chemistry and rote memorization may not necessarily be their strong point. Personally, I think that's also why a lot of us struggle with certain grammar points. There are some that just click with us immediately and then there are others that we have to see over and over and over and over and over--you get the point--just for us to find a single sentence with it that we understand. If you're math oriented, we need to figure out a way to no longer make grammar points rote memorization for you, but to turn it into a formula of some sort. I actually write my notes out in ways that are like that--I use plus signs (+) in my notes not because the textbooks use them but because my brain genuinely reads it as "noun + particle + grammar point = a sentence that makes sense" because, for me, formulas don't fail. Your weak point doesn't have to be your weakness--you can turn the weakness into a strength that works just for you.

I've been going at this for years and every single professor or Japanese friend (or even people from the discord server) I have can tell you that I've struggled with pretty much any grammar point that included ~ように--and it wasn't because I wasn't trying, but because I couldn't find myself using any sentences that with those grammar points because I found the alternatives/similar ones to make more sense. Surprisingly, it wasn't until I was reading 夜カフェ for our book club that I was actually able to start grasping the meaning (ngl, I still haven't used it myself--I'm notorious for using alternatives); I was finally witnessing it being used in a way that made sense in my brain.

The frustration you're feeling when you encounter a new grammar point or overload yourself with too many things in one go is completely normal and I promise that a ton of us in the Japanese langblr community have definitely experienced it too! It probably feels like everything you know is being ripped apart because your native language may have a SVO (subject-verb-object) format while Japanese has a SOV (subject-object-verb) format--your 1-to-1 translations for your notes may not be helpful in the beginning because you're still trying to wrap your brain around the fact that your words still need to go in another order than you're used to. And then you add the new grammar points and concepts on top of that (like particles and other things) and it can become overwhelming and frustrating. Sometimes, you're going to find some grammar points just downright annoying--especially when you find that there's no equivalency to it in your own language. But don't give up!

I know this is a super cliché thing to say, but practicing them will help. If you can, I would make note of the grammar points that you're struggling with, try to make sentences with them, and ask somebody to check them and explain exactly why (or why not) they're working and then ask them for examples because they may have an even better way of explaining it to you than what you've come up with for yourself!

I can look back at old notes and see when I wrote a sentence as an example just because a textbook/professor used it but I didn't actually understand why it worked at the time and then I can also find notes where the sentences written as examples were added once I finally found something that clicked for me.

You've already done yourself a favor by learning a lot of vocab, kana, and kanji because now you'll be able to try out an array of ways to pick up grammar instead of just a textbook. (I will make a note that if you're looking to take the JLPT, I would recommend having a list of grammar points that you would need to know for the level that you're planning on sitting for because there's no guarantee of what will or won't pop up on the test.)

Another important thing while you're practicing: be comfortable with making mistakes. We all make them, but when you're learning a new language it's important to be ready to make mistakes and to welcome them with open arms because it gives you a chance to experience and learn in real time.

ALSO: for you specifically--because you're interested in reading, you might enjoy learning grammar through tracking the different grammar points through what you're reading and using the sentences as your examples because they're all going to be cohesive. And if reading books or other things totally turn you off right now, maybe games? Animal Crossing and Pokemon are very nice games to play in Japanese for people that are just starting out! You may also enjoy using Lingo Legend--it's an JRPG language learning app that I beta tested and I think that it's a nice way to review (it has some fun incentives). I'm not a big gamer, so I struggle with learning through games, but I've been picking up a lot of grammar through reading because I focus on finding things that I'm interested in, rather than things that are "at my level." When I start a manga, I will scour a ton of websites and forums and bug a ton of people when I come across a grammar point that I can't wrap my brain around because I want to be able to understand what's going on.

We have book clubs and gamers in my discord server, as well as places for people to post what they're practicing or to ask for help. We have people of all varying levels and different skillsets that love to share their wisdom with others.

I haven't used Bunpro, but I know that @sammilearns has, so she may be able to weigh in on that! And @tokidokitokyo @nihongoseito @chouhatsumimi @kanpeki-bekki @burgeoning-ambition probably also have even more tips that me--I'm trying to tag people that I know we all learn in different ways, so their tips and tricks might be just what you need!

Please weigh in, fellow langblr members! How have you been learning grammar? Are you game-ifying it? Have you turned it into math equations? Have you managed to tie it in with your special interest? I can't wait to see what people add to this post!

[kaiowut99]

Duel Links Re-Translation Mod Project (Announcement post I guess?) - Dark Yugi In-Duel Line Re-Translation Test (WIP)

(Alternate project tagline: #LetYubelSayLove)

(Forgive some video stuttering, my Nvidia game recording thing was a bit buggy 😩)

~~~~~~~~

So. For the longest, I've been hella curious to figure out where the text for Duel Links is in the file assets, the in-duel lines in particular--as I'm sure most folks know, the English dubtitle text applied for the English dialogue is, nine times out of ten, inaccurate or decently simplified vs the Japanese audio played on the same line, and it's a bit wild that we still don't have a second English option for a more faithful take this long after Konami gave us the Japanese voices natively on Steam and made modding the game to get them a thing of the past. But for all my occasional searching through the files, I had little luck due to encryption and junk; at some point in September, I got curious and did more digging and was able to find some card text, at least, but nowhere near as much as is in the game now, and still no dialogue lines.

And then, 2-3 weeks ago, I saw that Aura (Octomaidly over on Twitter, part of @entamesubs handling Studio Bridge-era YGO fansubs for SEVENS+) had been working with a couple of folks to decrypt and re-translate the in-duel lines for SEVENS characters and came across her video on Twitter sharing her progress; I immediately reached out to find out how they're doing it and mentioned how I'd like to try and re-translate pre-SEVENS stuff, lol. (You can watch her latest video demoing her re-translation for GO RUSH world here; find her work as it develops on the NexusMods page for it.)

After connecting with Aura and the folks helping her and getting set up to work on things, I set up a quick re-translation for Dark Yugi's lines, had it all imported for a test-run, and recorded this demo test vs Kaiba to see 'em in action; I did fix a few things since recording this, like some line breaks here/there, but also fixed the one mention of "Dark Magician" in the cut-in shot since this was a test of my OCG-name translation (more on that below) and thus "Black Magician" should've been there--but all told, it looks pretty good overall!

All that to say that this is now another lil' project on my list 😅 It's very cool that this is finally doable and I'm looking forward to working with Aura and co to make it happen--though do note that it'll be at a bit of a slower pace since work on my finalized GX subs (currently revision work on 117-119 is underway) and Tag Force Special is a bit higher priority. That said, the nice thing is that working on in-duel lines in TFSP kinda does half my work for me here, lol; maybe half of Dark Yugi's lines, for example, are recycled verbatim from TFSP--the only difference being that Shunsuke Kazama is actually voicing him--with the rest being lines newly added for him in DL, from lines for dueling other characters to cards he didn't have lines for in TFSP, and this should be the case across the board for anyone who showed up in TF[SP].

My intention is also to work on two translations: one with OCG card names and one with the TCG names, as we're doing with TFSP, and I'll be starting this off by working on the first five characters from each series that appeared in TFSP, since that's how I'm working on the story events there (so for DM, working on Dark Yugi, Kaiba, Jounouchi, Ishizu, and Mai first), and then once done through VRAINS, that might probably be the first version of the mod I'd release. Or maybe I'll release a version as I get each set of five done; we'll see lol. I do plan to contribute my translations to Aura's project, as well. (Also we just recently dug up event dialogue text so those will be re-translatable, too; doing this for the older series' events that likely won't get reruns will at least be worth it since you can spend Gems to get those event scenes)

But overall, it's pretty encouraging--stay tuned!

[my-crown-in-red]

Hello! ♡ I'm Deamy ⋆˚꩜｡

Pronouns are they/it but I really don't mind he or she either!

I love being my true self, which is why I made this blog!

Welcome to my special hell!

On here, I talk about a Mario related story I call "My Crown In Red" or MCIR for short. Why? Because it's killing me. It traumatized me, and it ruined me. And yet I can't stop loving it.

I want to talk about the dark aspects of hyperfixiation, as well as mental illness caused by things that may differ from the norm. On here, I'll explain my story and blur the line between reality and fiction ⋆˙⟡

Here's the masterpost for those interested! Tagging system is in one of the sections below the cut!

Stay if you'd like, I'd love to interact with others ♡

Trigger warning for unreality, as well as discussions self harm, suicide, murder, grief and guilt ⚠️‼️

You seem curious... Allow me to explain then! Read whatever you find interesting ♡

♕- What is MCIR?

My Crown In Red is an original story based on the Mario and Luigi games! It follows a dimension traveling teen who utilizes their powers to travel to the Mario universe and befriend two individuals called Fawful and Cackletta.

However, things take a dark turn once Deamy (short for Demonsoul (don't ask)) makes a grave mistake and has to hide it from her newfound friends, while things around them keep on escalating. Can they resolve the situation peacefully?

No. That's why this blog exists 😔

♕- Why did I make this blog?

The character of Demonsoul is heavily based on myself. I see myself in her to the point were my sense of self has been completely mangled. I am Deamy and Deamy is me.

Because of this, MCIR is a huge part of my identity. I remember every scene as if I was there myself, I felt Deamy's pain as if it were my own. And I feel guilt for the things she did. The things I did.

But I've always felt too ashamed to talk about it. It's just a silly Mario story with an overpowered self insert after all...

But a while ago I heard of a creepypasta called "A one, are you?", which is the retelling of an extreme and traumatizing nightmare the author experienced IRL. It affected them deeply, and even though it is just a silly Mario creepypasta, they still shared it. They shared it and people listened.

There's many different people in this community. Many of them care a lot about Mario. If they can express their passion without being ridiculed, then so can I ♡

♕- So you're delusional?

To you, I most likely am, and that's okay. I've accepted it. I used to be ashamed of my experiences, but now, I simply don't care anymore. I don't care if people laugh at me behind my back, I just want to be myself

Is MCIR... Healthy? No. Absolutely not. But I can't switch off my emotions- This blog is my way of coping ♡

♕- Is it okay if I...

Want to ask a question?

Yes of course!! My asks and DMs are always open, and you can always send anonymous asks if you want to!

You can ask me about the story, about myself or just tell me about your day! :3

Want to draw your characters?

Dude, I'd be honored!!

Make my own soul character?

Absolutely!! If you have any questions, just ask me ♡

(Sorry if this sounds as if I'm trying to make myself sound important lol-)

♕- Tagging system -♕

#my crown in red (everything my crown in red related!)

#mcir (art tag specifically for the story!)

#deamy explains (here's where the lore goes!)

#mcir memes (memes about mcir)

#deamys scribbles (should I actually write this story, you will be able to find snippets and dialogue here!)

#fool's empty words (tag for me writing little messages, mostly to Fawful and Cackletta)

#mcir souls (art of canon soul characters)

#march 13th - #may 7th - #july 26th - etc (posts talking about these events)

#not canon (if I post art that's not canon, I'll use this tag)

#the story by others (mcir art from people other than me ♡♡♡)

#mcir oc (apperantly there's mcir ocs?? This tag is for them ♡♡♡)

#deamys complaints (vent tag! Feel free to block this one!! :3)

I will ALWAYS tag the triggering topics listed above the cut!

Aaand that's it!!

My main is @federthenotsogreat so I'll be interacting from there! (I also post my regular mario art there if you're curious >:3c)

[lai-mar]

You know, I really appreciate that you’re out here defending this widely hated relationship. Maybe it’s because the anime-only fans are a very vocal majority right now, but I’ve seen people who ‘watched the anime then read the manga’ *still* shit on Laios and Marcille’s friendship. Like you don’t have to ship it but if you deny that they care about each other or deny that they have chemistry, did you even read the comic?? ‘Oh they’re just siblings/siblings-in-law!’ have you ever had a sibling. have you ever had a sibling-in-law. they do not act like siblings they act like *intimate* best friends. ‘Ridiculously comfortable around each other’ best friends. They have a relationship outside of Falin, that is what develops over the entire damn story. 90 chapters. What comic were you reading where you think Marcille can barely stand him.

Thanks for the ask! Very cathartic to see this. About to go on another rant again lol (will be repeating some of my old points but yeah I need to get it out of my system)

"Defending widely hated relationship" + "anime-only fans are a very vocal majority"

Okay, let me play devil's advocate for a second here. Let's say I despise L/M as a ship and it squicks me out greatly and I think it's a boring ship of pairing the male lead and the female lead. What should I do? Obviously go into L/M posts and argue about it instead of blocking the tag and stating my stance my calmly when someone asks me like your average fan who knows how to curate their fandom experience.

Okay, more devil's advocating. I despise L/M as a ship but I have read the manga and engaged with it critically and understood its themes. Which means I like L+M as a friendship in the same way I like the themes of eating and life cycle and the friendship between the party and the worldbuilding. Because all of these are core parts of the story told. So what I do is to block all shippers and ship tag and look for platonic fics and fanart like Your Average Fan Who Curates Their Experience.

Like I'm sorry. I genuinely feel some people are so caught up in the intense fanonisation of DM that they start forgetting about canon. And I KNOW I am not the only one feeling this way because I read the notes on my posts and other people's posts and there's a lot of good thoughts on this. Plenty of people appreciate them. But to some people in the wider fandom, are we reading the same manga? Our male lead and female lead are friends who save each other. They are not together canonically. So canonically, they don't even get into the way of shipping?????? People can have important intimate friendships outside of romance??? And it's a canon well established friendship? I would say it's one of the most well developed dynamics in the series that we see? We get shown and not told? We see images and words and interpret them in our brains?

Devil's advocate level 3. Let's say mainstream fanonisation of DM is real. F/M is a canon ship and they get together and they get married in the end and L+M become sibling in laws. Maybe L/K is a thing. This still does not erase the entire journey L+M and co went on to save Falin. This still does not erase their friendship and chemistry.

"‘Oh they’re just siblings/siblings-in-law!’ have you ever had a sibling. have you ever had a sibling-in-law."

Okay. I do have a sibling. At this point I've long accepted this much be some sort of cultural difference and some weird American / Western thing I am not used to. And the hilarious thing about DM is that we do get canon siblings!!! It's the fucking premise! Falin and Laios!! And they're fun!

I'm sorry but this must be some cultural difference. Like no younger sibling is calling their older sibling by their GIVEN NAME. The sheer disrespect. I'll be scandalised. As a person with a sibling I don't understand the fandomisation of making non related people siblings in fanon? I'm calling my friends my friends, not siblings. My sibling is like a sibling to me. My friends are like friends to me. Idk. I've written the word sibling so many times that it doesn't seem like a word anymore.

Obviously these are just my personal thoughts but I feel like objectively, there has been a fandomwide trend of grabbing a canon friendship between a man and a woman and going "THEY ARE SO SIBLINGS CORE XD" (not siblings in canon) (not related) (don't even look similar) (they're friends). A lot of times this is valid and even fun but sometimes I get the feeling people sometimes push the fanon sibling thing to show they're squicky about them romantically. To which I can only say: a man and a woman can genuinely only be friends. If you need to magically make them related so you / other people won't see their friendship romantically... it feels like a step back. Why are we doing heteronormativity.

I think I'm the type of person who enjoys and mains man + woman friendships in fandoms (which are, unsurprisingly, unpopular as ships and even as friendships until I start spreading propaganda and pumping fics on Ao3), and I think one of the things that get me is. A man who could be attracted to women + a woman who could be attracted to men having great chemistry but staying friends. I want to stress this is different from a man who is not interested in women / romance + a woman who is not interested in men / romance because there is almost zero chance of a reciprocal romantic relationship going on. But for the first case, which I feel like many people dumb down to "straight people shipping", it's even more precious for them to stay friends and not give into the heternormative expectations despite one or both of them possibly (but not necessarily) being heterosexual. Like, here are two people who could date each other but they're like "nah we work better as friends, so we stay friends". To me, this is one fantastic argument for friendship. Not everything has to be romantic. Even better if they considered and thought about the logistics, but decide their relationship is more special non romantically. Having a taste of how their relationship could go and going "thanks, but no thanks". Is this not a great display of sincere and stable friendship compared to people going "lol they can't work as a ship because they simply physically cannot tolerate the thought of each other romantically". I'm rambling here but I feel like this is what I feel across various dynamics and fandoms. At this point, I think somehow non romantic relationships genuinely fascinate me more than ships. Save me QPR save me.

"They have a relationship outside of Falin"

I feel like some manga readers have missed the point so badly when it comes to this. It's hilarious. They have a relationship outside of Falin it's the whole fucking point about coming to terms with grief and death! You know, one of the core themes of this story that you finished!

And of course this doesn't erase the love they have for Falin. Falin is clearly beloved and their main motivation, but hilariously enough (for the L+M deniers), the manga shows Laios and Marcille's "true" innermost desires being granted and it's not about reviving Falin even though they both clearly want her back and it's at the forefront of their minds. Laios turns into a monster. His curse isn't about Falin not coming back (even though that was his immediate thought), it's about him not being able to interact with monsters ever again. Marcille was traumatised by what happened to Falin (nightmare chapter) but when she turns into a dungeon lord, she goes about trying to fix the lifespans, showing her fear of loneliness and all her loved ones (NOT just a single person!!!!!!!!) dying before her. You can argue they didn't revive Falin with magic lord powers because they don't trust the lion / trust their own plan of eating her, but I think the manga focuses enough on their desires for the interpretation of "the lion fulfills their innermost desires that define their existence" to work. Marcille is the one who finds Laios first after he turned back and Laios broke Marcille free from the lion's influence etc etc we know they play a part in each other's arcs. Laios says they wouldn't be on this journey if Falin hadn't been digested. Marcille says in the end she was okay with Falin not being brought back this time. Laios invites Marcille to stay with him. It's in the text.

"Boring straight ship" or whatever

This comes from what a friend said about my main duo of another fandom but it's like "why isn't [ship] more popular" "because it's easy to fall into the boring trope of pairing a man and a woman together".

And this is a thing that does happen! But not to pairings with strong canon foundation and chemistry sorry. Don't look at me, look at canon. A male/female ship with good canon support is a good ship. Why are you surprised. People like shipping characters who spend lots of time together saving each other and all that. Dare I say: sometimes (sometimes) shipping "straight people" is more respectful to their canon friendship than shoehorning them as siblings. Which I believe is true in the case of L+M.

Anyways. Well that was a nice angry rant. Sorry I had to get it out of my system. I've spend too much time writing this so I won't be doing much proofreading lol. If you've reached this point, thanks for reading <3

[miradelletarot]

Writing prompt - it’s been six months since Gale and Tav’s wedding. He surprises her with a super romantic vacation for their honeymoon.

I hope this is to your liking, dearest Anon. I...may or may not have spent the last couple days researching different places (and asking my DM friends for suggestions for a romantic getaway lol). Notes: SFW, GN (I went with a gn, reader-insert to try and challenge my writing a bit. I hope that's ok!) Anything is possible when your husband is a wizard who can teleport you anywhere, and please don't be angy if I messed up any tenses, grammar or anything else. No beta.

I wanted to focus on the actual "surprise" aspect of the prompt where Gale presents his gift to Tav. I had originally started writing out an idea for him to be like "hey, let's go out babe i wanna show you something cool!" and then teleports them to the dream destination, but my brain went way too far in the weeds with lore and accuracy that the story was getting lost. So, hopefully, this little nugget is satisfactory. Thank you so much for the ask! This was a fun one for my D&D loving brain ^^ (drabble below the cut! all sfw) <3

Gale was always one to shower you with affection. It didn’t matter if it was in the form of kisses, hugs, a home cooked meal, or something more. The more he could do for you, the more he could worship you, the better. There was never a time when he didn't want to give you more.

“My love,” he purrs warmly as he greets you on the terrace, “I have something exciting to share with you, and I think you’re going to love it.” The way his face beams brighter than the evening sun fills you with intense adoration. You wouldn’t want to go a single day without seeing that gorgeous smile of his.

You set your book down on the small side table next to your coffee, and take his hand in yours. “Well now, my darling husband, what tales will you regale me with today?” You smile, assuming he has yet another piece of history or magic to share with you that he’s discovered in his vast collection of books. “No tales, dearest. I have requested some time away from Blackstaff.” Your eyes widen, and concern fills your gaze.

“Darling, I’m confused. I thought you loved teaching? Is something wrong?” “No, no. Nothing’s wrong.” He flashed a rueful smile realizing that in trying to build up your anticipation, he only made you worry. “I have noticed that between my teaching, and seemingly endless research, I haven’t made as much time for you as I should.” His face fell as he lowered his gaze to your intertwined hands, and gave your hands a gentle squeeze. “I promised you I would balance my time with you, and…well…needless to say I have done an abysmal job at giving you the attention you deserve.” Gale cupped your cheek in his hand. “Will you let me make it up to you, dearest?” You smile, shaking your head slightly at how absurd he was. “Love, you don’t owe me anything. I know how important your research is…and you have never left me wanting. I promise." You lean in and give him a small kiss on his forehead, and he melts into your delicate touch. “Now…what’s this about taking time away from Blackstaff?” “Ah! Of course!” He straightens up, his gaze bright once again. “You. Me. Three tendays of blissful relaxation in a most beautiful, and mysterious locale.” With your curiosity piqued, you can hardly contain the excitement in your eyes. “Really?? Where?” “Myth Drannor. A picturesque, elven city with a rich history and a mild climate, nestled within the forest of Cormanthyr. There’s plenty to do if you wish to explore, but if not, then the serenity in which we will find ourselves surrounded by will no doubt allow us the relaxation you deserve. Regardless, I want to share it all with you. It’s the honeymoon you deserve after our harrowing adventure.” “Oh, Gale!” You throw your arms around him and squeeze him tight, showering him with kisses all over his face…when you dared to release your hold on him at least. “But, darling…that’s so much time away. Are you sure? You wanted nothing more than to be back home.”

His gaze softened as he pulled you close, nuzzling your cheek. “Home,” he whispered, “is wherever you are, my love.” Your eyes sparkled, and your heart felt like it could burst. The lengths this man would go to for you were immeasurable, and you wondered how in Toril you got so lucky. "Now," he roused you from your wayward thoughts of adoration, "the sooner we pack for our little getaway, the sooner we can leave." He gave you that lazy smirk and smoldering gaze that makes you swoon. "I don't want to waste a single moment, my love." "Well...perhaps you'll join me for one last Waterdhavian sunset before we go?" "Whatever you desire, dearest." He smiles as he presses a kiss to the top of your head.

"My time is yours."

[maebyshifting]

hey, apologies if this doesnt make sense, its like 1 am and i just got done with dance lol

so, bascially, im doubting shifting. How can i know if its real? Anti-shifters call shifting schizophrenia (however you spell it) or some sort of lucid dreaming. i dont want to waste my time if something isnt real yk? and other people say its just imagination and that i’m stupid for believing that i can shift realities. how can i fully believe shifting, with the little amount of evidence there is?

im not an anti-shifter btw, just curious! also sorry if these questions dont make sense, im in middle school and my english sucks (even though its my first language, lmao)

have a good day! happy shifting <333

shifting antis are usually people who gave up shifting they never shifted or genuinely think it’s a dream and we’re making things up.

i have lucid dreamt for a bit now. while dreams feel real, once you realize you’re dreaming and go lucid, everything feels malleable. shifting doesn’t feel like that. there’s a lucid dreaming term called persistent dreams or persistent realms (something along these lines) that has been talked about for a long time that is basically describing shifting using the lucid dream method under a different name.

lucid dreaming was heavily criticized when i was a kid (and way before even that) because it seemed impossible that people could control their dreams. now there’s tons of research on it. we are a tiny speck in a vast universe that is constantly expanding. if shifting is a super realistic version of lucid dreaming? i’m okay with that! i still know the experiences that i’ll experience are real to me. doesn’t matter what other people think.

because there’s not much research it can be hard to believe. but then i remember shifters talking about their grandparents shifting and keeping it to themselves, not putting a name on it. i think about our younger selves who shifted because our imaginations were so powerful to us. i think of the relief people feel when they shift for the first time. i think of the community that’s been brought together that gains nothing from lying about this. most of all i think about how we discovered this thing for a reason.

best advice i can give is join communities that allow you to talk to other shifters. shiftblr, discord servers, etc. are places you can talk to people who are likeminded and lots of people have genuine stories. for me, i keep shifting as a private thing only for myself and don’t really talk about it with irl friends. i’m not saying you have to do that, but that’s the balance that’s worked for me. but everyone’s different! listen to peoples stories and experiences and it helps so much <3 i hope that helps a little bit? my dms are open so feel free to dm me if you need anything!

[rmd-writes]

Hi!! I always love what you write, so I'm very excited to see whatever this secret project is! But for now I do have a question about beta reading. How did you break into it? For a long time I have thought that I would enjoy doing that for different people, and I like that kind of fine-tooth comb editing work. But I am not a writer myself, just an avid fic enjoyer, so it feels like I can't quite bring as much to the table or meet other authors in a mutual kind of way. And I would never want to imply that an author needed that extra help or anything like that by just cold reaching out to them. Sorry that so much about me haha, I'm not necessarily looking for any advice (though if you had any I would certainly take it) but I am curious about how you got into it and what your experience has been like! Thank you!!

Hi nonnie! Thanks for the ask!

Can I just say to start with, that as an avid fic enjoyer, you absolutely can meet writers and other creators in a mutual way! Everyone has a place in fandom and something to contribute. It would be a very lonely world for creators if people weren't there to enjoy what we make (and hopefully tell us what they're liking those things). Personally, I appreciate readers so much and I especially love seeing regular names pop up in my inbox 💖💖

As for how I got into beta reading, it started back when a pal in Schitt's Creek fandom was writing a fic and worried that she was going to lose motivation to write it so I offered to sit in the doc and cheer her on. Please note that my motivation for doing so was entirely selfish because it meant that I had early access to the fic that I desperately wanted her to keep writing 😅 that eventually turned into me beta reading that fic (and all of her fics after that) for her.

I started beta reading more frequently in RWRB - I'd signed up as a beta reader for an event, but around the same time I also got to know other writers via a discord server. Sometimes people would ask for beta readers and I'd volunteer - I'm still a tiny bit dirty that @three-drink-amy snagged the beta rights to bleedingballroomfloor's baseball boyfriends fic right out from under my nose even though she is far better qualified than I to beta read a baseball fic - so much so that she helped me with the baseball scenes in my rwrb lawyer au lol (please know that I love them both dearly, there is no internet beef here).

You say that you don't want to reach out to writers and imply that they need assistance, but honestly, sliding into people's DMs and letting them know that either I'm very interested in X fic that they're writing and would they like someone to beta read it or that I'm available in general to help if they want it because I love their writing is how I've ended up beta reading for almost all of the writers I do that for!! People are generally just thankful to know that someone is interested in their writing! It can be a lonely hobby sometimes and having someone to live in your docs or send snippets to can help balance the need for wanting to talk about your fics with someone or bounce ideas off someone and wanting to keep what you're working on under wraps.

God, this is getting really long, I'm so sorry. I've been rambling and I'm not even sure that I answered your question.

You asked what my experience has been like and for the most part, it's been very positive! I get early access to fics (I often say that my favourite way to read a fic is in google docs 😂), I get to cheer my friends on and sometimes they even trust me enough to let me throw ideas at them and write them into their stories - sometimes I even get to do this without actually doing any editing and that's just as fun. I love beta reading, I think there's something really special about being trusted with the draft of someone's writing and getting to help make it the best that it can be (what that involves looks different for every writer I work with). 💖

And all of that doesn't even touch on how much I learn from the writers I've worked with - it's definitely helped me improve my own writing!