#now i'd like 2 eggs over hard

[alaska-cruise-passenger]

[hedgehog-moss]

what do you usually make for dinner? i’m looking for new things to try and the food you show in your photos always looks so tasty

Hi :) I have very seasonal menus, here are some of my go-to summer dishes:

Rice salad with lentils, maize, tomatoes, hard-boiled egg, rocket. My salad dressing is olive oil + sunflower oil + cider vinegar + Dijon mustard + whatever herbs I have at hand (usually thyme, basil, sage, rosemary)

I also make a salad-salad with the same dressing but with just lettuce and some rocket + walnuts + goat cheese + my homemade spicy plum-raisin chutney, or a fig chutney. Classic but delicious.

My laziest salads are potato-herring-red onions salad, or just grated carrots & black radish (and dressing obvs)

I love cold tomato soup in summer—I don't think I'm allowed to call it gazpacho because I don't like cucumber and have banished it from this recipe. It's just normal tomato soup with some olive oil, onion, garlic, Espelette pepper, and herbs, and I keep it in the fridge. I'm proud to say all the ingredients save the olive oil are from my greenhouse! Cold beetroot soup is also great, I often have cold soup with croûtons + a hard-boiled egg for supper (and then cheese + bread, and often dark chocolate + bread for dessert if I haven't made any dessert. Plus a fruit)

The chocolate tart I described here is to be eaten cold so it's a nice summer dessert (and breakfast). I keep carrot cake in the fridge too and since my recipe makes for a very moist cake it's very refreshing (I am positive I shared this recipe on here before but tumblr's blog search is useless :( It's my abuela's pastel de zanahoria esponjoso made with biscuit crumbs instead of flour, it's somewhere on this blog I swear, I remember illustrating it with a little carrot drawing 😭)

Another refreshing summer dessert is compote (or do you call it fruit purée?) Right now my favourite flavour is apple-plum (mostly because that's what I currently have and your own fruits always taste better<3) I just put a few (three?) apples to cook in a pan with a bit of water, a couple of tablespoons of sugar, a dash of lemon and a bunch of red plums, let it cook then blend it and put it in the fridge. Three weeks from now I will be drowning in blackberries and apple-blackberry will be my favourite flavour.

Quiche!! Endless possibilities with quiche. I like to make a quiche-ratatouille combo—I start with sautéing whatever vegetables I have (often courgettes, tomatoes, a couple of potatoes, maybe an aubergine & bell pepper, + Espelette pepper, onions, basil) in a pan with some olive oil; while it's cooking I prepare the body of the quiche in a bowl (20cL of milk, 2 or 3 tablespoons of flour, 2 eggs, some herbs and a tiny bit of olive oil for luck). I make a pie crust with flour, water, salt, oregano and olive oil (sorry I'm from the Mediterranean, I put herbs and olive oil everywhere). I spread the ratatouille on the pie crust then add the milk/egg mixture on top of it, then add little bits of cheese on top (gruyère or bleu or St Nectaire personally). I eat it with a side of rocket, it's perfect. And very colourful:

When I'm too lazy to do the ratatouille (and quiche) steps I just make a tomato tart—the same pie crust as above, then I spread Dijon mustard over it then cover it with sliced tomatoes, and add some (obligatory) herbs and olive oil. It's less effort and also looks very summery:

Some favourite autumn-spring dishes: vegetable lasagna, chilaquiles, hachis parmentier with mashed pumpkin, fish brandade, potato-courgette gratin (with blue cheese)... Then winter is for comfort foods like camembert fondue, risotto, calzones, pumpkin-chestnut soup, and crêpes—the savoury kind with sarrasin flour, what we call galettes. I grew up eating a ton of fish and seafood but I've curbed this habit due to environmental worries—hence why I'd like to raise edible fish in my greenhouse tanks! I get to eat a lot of eggs thanks to my hens, but I don't eat meat very often—hardly ever in summer except if I'm invited for dinner at someone's house. Sometimes I buy a homemade duck terrine from my neighbour and have a tartine for apéritif. My cold-season dishes call for ham in galettes and chicken in chilaquiles / risotto / quesadillas, and I make my hachis parmentier with duck. But yeah soup / salad / 'ratatouille quiche' and pasta with veggie sauce are my staples.

This list lacks pasta, I eat a lot of pasta. But mostly in autumn and spring; I just prepare my sauce in summer and store it for later. I also prepare & freeze a lot of soup and vegetable mash in summer with my greenhouse harvests. I often eat green beans as a side with my crêpes or other winter dishes because they grow so fast and incessantly in summer, my freezer ends up stuffed with bags of green beans. My usual pasta sauce is pretty much the same ratatouille combo as above (minus the potatoes so it's less thick), sauté'ed in a pan with olive oil, I also add an egg, parmesan (sometimes extra blue cheese or emmental) and liquid cream, then blend everything. I have a lot of courgettes and tomatoes right now, industrial quantities of basil and rocket, and beautiful Ecuador purple chili, so I've been making lots of jars of this sauce and also my new basil-rocket-cashew pesto! October-me will be thankful.

[daydreams-after-dark]

Good things come in small packages Part 2

Part 1 | Part 2

Pairing: Mini Han x fem reader

Synopsis: One year ago you purchased a ‘miniature companion’ named Hannie. He’s the size of a Ken doll but alive and horny. But something unexpected happens on your one year anniversary.

Word count: approx 7.4 k

A/n: SURPRISE!!! I know I said this was being released approx next Monday, but.... I wrote it quicker than I expected. I want to thank you for your patience with this installment. There was a point there where I almost didn't have it in me to write it. But your words of encouragement helped spur me on.

I hope that you enjoy part two of this fic. There's a lot of emotions, sickly sweet moments, and a surprise character features too.

CW below the cut

C/W: unprotected p in v sex, oral sex, rough sex, angst, brief themes of depression, fear of suicide (just a fleeting thought), size kink?

Previously:

"Hannie?" You whisper, lowering the lamp, letting it drop to the floor.

"Why is everything so small? Wait. Why am I naked? Noona, have you been playing with me in my sleep?" He looks up at you confused and worried. "Noona, why are you looking at me like that?"

His eyes land on his pajamas, torn to shreds next to him. He picks up the scrap of fabric that was his pajama top, and his eyes widen. "Why are my clothes so tiny?"

"Hannie," you take in the man before you, naked and taking up most of the bed. "You're big."

------------

Han just stares at you blankly. Then realization hits him, causing him to spring out of bed and look around the room frantically.

"Hannie?" You say again. "Hannie, look at me." You take a step closer to him and he finally looks at you. It's as though your gaze anchors him and he appears to calm down somewhat. His eyes soften and he looks at you like he's looking at you for the very first time, just as you are with him.

You already know he has an incredible physique. Broad shoulders, slim waist, toned muscles. But standing before you right now he’s breathtaking. But you don't love him for his body. You love him for his heart.

Standing fully naked in front of you, he seems less real than when he was small. How can this be happening? It's impossible. Right?

"Noona?" His eyes drop to where your gaze has fallen. Right on his cock, still semi hard from his morning wood. It's the most delicious thing you've ever seen. So much bigger than you expected too. You can't help but imagine all the things you want to do with it. You have imagined it plenty over the past year. How you want him to fill you up, or make you choke on it. How it tastes. How it feels in your mouth.

"Hey!" he covers himself with his hands. "I'm going through a crisis and you're staring at my dick!" He exasperates. He narrows his eyes. "Oh my God, Noona? You know what this means?" His eyes light up with excitement.

"I do, Han. Trust me, I know. But first we need to figure out what is going on. Why this has happened." You take another step towards him, closing the distance, and with shaking hands you reach out and touch his chest. You feel his heart pounding and it makes your heart beat faster too.

He's real.

"Do you think my wish has finally come true?" he whispers. "I wish it every night before I fall asleep. That I'd wake up and be human sized."

You look up to meet his gaze. His gorgeous big brown eyes. "I wish it every night too. It's just... this doesn’t make any sense.” You pause. “Wait. The manual. Maybe it says something in that?”

Without giving him any warning, you snap into action and disappear into your walk-in wardrobe, returning with a pair of sweatpants and an oversized tee.

"Here. Put these on. I can't be getting distracted." You say and hurry out of the bedroom.

----------

"I thought you said you'd studied the manual?" Han says suspiciously whilst chewing on the scrambled eggs and toast you quickly cooked for him. You were quite happy to forgo your breakfast so you could search for answers, but his stomach rumbled so loudly you couldn’t ignore it.

While he scoffs down his breakfast, and you're still in your pajamas, you pore over the instruction manual spread open on the dining table, looking for any information that might help.

"Well... I kind of only read about how to keep you alive. You know, like how often I needed to feed and water you." you reply casually. Inside, you wish you had read the rest of the information. Maybe you would have had a heads up about this and you could have prepared yourself?

"Do you think I'm going to be like this permanently? Like the first year was a test of your commitment or something? Maybe I could learn guitar? Or cook? Or-"

"Okay. I've got something." You interrupt. "It says here: At twelve months of ownership, your companion will transform into typical human size-"

Han's eyes light up excitedly. "Wait! So this means?"

You hold up your hand to hush him. "There's more." You say. "He will remain in this state for 48 hours, before returning to his original size."

“Oh.” Han’s fork clatters on his plate. You look up at him as his expression changes from excited and hopeful, to absolutely crestfallen and deflated.

"I'm so sorry, Hannie." you whisper. You know how badly he wants to be big. You watch as he swallows a lump in his throat, and without a word, he stands and walks into the kitchen to look out of the window above the sink.

————

Forty eight hours? So It's not permanent? What kind of fucking idiot is he to think he'd ever be able to be a human? He tries to fight back the tears as he looks out of the window.

It's a beautiful, sunny morning, and usually on a day like this he'd climb up onto the windowsill and watch the world. There's a little strip of shops across the street that he especially loves to watch. His favorite is the flower shop. Observing the customers going in and out buying flowers and bouquets for loved ones. They’re such pretty colors too, the flowers. He’d love to be able to buy flowers for you.

A lady about your age works there, and sometimes another man is there too. Han doesn’t see him there often, but knows he’s someone special the way the shop owner and him look at and hold each other. Maybe he travels for work? He's often wondered as he sits on the windowsill.

He's broken from his thoughts when he feels your arms wrap around his waist and you lean against his back. His eyes close softly, and his body relaxes as he savors the feeling of being embraced in this way for the first time.

"Hannie, I know we don't have long, but maybe if we see it as a gift?"

He turns in your arms to face you, and wraps his own arms around you. You feel so good like this. In his arms. Holding so much of you in one go. Feeling your entire body pressed against his. It's better than he ever imagined.

"You're right." He says finally. "We can't waste a minute of this precious time. There's so much I have to do to you." His dick twitches when he sees your cheeks flush. He knows you're not shy, but if you feel anything like he does right now, then you’d have to be trembling on the inside.

His hand slides up to hold your jaw tenderly as he brings his lips close to yours. Sure he's kissed you, parts of your lips - both sets even, and other parts of your skin. But your lips in their entirety? He feels so scared, so nervous. What if he's a shit kisser?

"Stop thinking, Han Jisung." You say and connect your lips to his.

His lips fit yours perfectly and he melts into them with a moan. He kisses you slowly and carefully and a warmth spreads throughout his body. He hardens immediately when he feels your tongue slip into his mouth to find his. Your tongue, the one that’s licked his entire torso in one sweep, is currently inside his mouth. 

He allows his hands to wander lower to cup your ass. He loves your ass and often stares at it when you're doing housework in your tight little exercise shorts. Another moan escapes him when he pulls you even closer against his body. Touching so many parts of you all at once has him feeling overwhelmed in the best way possible. What will it be like when he’s inside you as well? He has to know.

He lowers his hands a little more to lift you up and you wrap your legs around his. Then he’s carrying you - actually carrying you - to your bedroom.

Your room is still filled with the warm sunlight, and Han is glad because he’ll be able to see absolutely everything. He lays you gently on the bed and kisses you deeply, then sits up to kneel between your parted legs.

“I think these need to come off.” He announces, flicking the waistband of your pajama shorts.

You smirk. “You do, huh?”

“Yes. We need to be naked.” He starts tugging off your clothes, then his own.

You look stunning beneath him, and you feel the same way about him. The sunlight hits his honey skin perfectly and you feel a surge of love for the man above you.

This is actually happening, is the thought going through both your heads.

Han gulps as he drinks you in with his eyes. Where to begin? He decides to start with your breasts. Holding them in his hands, massaging them. He loves the pretty noises you’re making as he kneads them. He leans over to take a nipple in his mouth, flicking the tiny pebbled nub that he normally has to stretch his mouth around. It goes straight to his dick and he can’t help but grind his cock against your core. This is too much already. He sits back up between your legs to try and regain his composure. He doesn’t want the first time he has intercourse to be over before it begins. To bide some time, he slowly runs his hands down your stomach and massages the tops of your thighs while his eyes lock onto your pussy. Home.

His favorite thing in the world is to eat you out, and he’s excited to taste you. Firstly, though, he is dying to explore you with his fingers. He drags his thumbs through your folds. “Wet for me as usual, Noona.” He states, glancing up to see your flushed cheeks. He chuckles to himself knowing how flustered he’s making you.

“Hannie…always soaked for you.” You say with a breathlessness to your voice. 

He rubs circles on your clit with his thumb whilst using his other hand to spread you wide. 

“I need your fingers inside me, Hannie.” you wiggle your hips to give him the hint.

“Like this?” He asks innocently as he slips two fingers into you. You moan in relief, making him smirk again.You’re so tight just around his fingers that he can’t imagine how you are going to fit his cock. He partially withdraws his fingers then pushes them back into your warm, wet, cunt. He repeats this a few times, your moans and ‘yes’s urging him to go a little harder, a little deeper. He remembers watching you finger fuck yourself and that there’s a spot inside you that when you stimulate it makes you come. He needs to try it. 

He angles his fingers a little differently and fucks you with his hand. The response is immediate. Your pussy begins to make those lewd, but arousing sounds, that he has heard when you’ve made yourself cum on your dildo. Your back arches off the bed and your thighs start to tremble. He knows the signs of you having an orgasm. He’s made you come so many times. But not like this. He leans over you to slide his tongue into your mouth, capturing the moans from your orgasm while his fingers work you through it until you’ve settled back to earth. Stunning. Erotic. Perfect. That’s what you are to him right now.

Now he can eat you out. Lick up all that arousal leaking from your delectable pussy. He nestles between your legs, his agonizingly hard cock squashed between his stomach and the mattress. He knows it’s leaking all over your quilt.

Firmly holding your thighs apart, he licks a long stripe from your vagina to clit. You taste perfect. He is careful not to go too hard or too rough. When he’s tiny he needs to use all his energy and strength to get you off, but right now even the most delicate of licks or suckles has you whimpering for him.

He spits on your clit and then sucks it off. Then moves lower to slip his tongue inside you. He has to hold you still as another orgasm starts to build for you. He loves making you feel this way.

He needs to make you come again, so he slips a finger into your pussy while he laps at your clit. He feels you come on his face, shaking, quivering, covering him in your juices. Yep. Still his favorite thing to do.

He removes himself from between your legs to hover over you to take you in an urgent kiss, smearing your arousal all over your lips. His dick throbs.

“Hannie,” you pull away from the kiss. “I really need you inside me. I need it so much it hurts.” You look up at him with desperate eyes.

“Me too, Noona.” He gulps. He’s so fucking scared and hopes you don’t notice.

“Are you nervous?” You reach up and stroke his cheek. 

Of course you noticed it. You always know how he feels. He nods. “Yeah. I am actually. I am a virgin you know?” He chuckles awkwardly, like you didn’t know he’d never actually fucked before.

You wrap your arms around the back of his neck and pull him close. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. Just let it slip in. Dicks usually find a way into a pussy.” You whisper in his ear.

He trusts you and grinds the length of his cock against your slipper pussy. It’s already beyond incredible feeling your soft skin against his obscenely hard cock. You both moan equally in pleasure and the frustration of needing more, so he shifts his hips to allow the tip of his cock to prod at you. 

“Yes!” You cry out against his ear. “Fuck…Hannie…need you. It’s so close…” 

All it takes is a slight adjustment of the angle of his hips and he feels the tip slip inside you. 

“Please…hurry.” You sob. “I love you so much, Hannie.”

“I love you too, Noona.” he says with a shaky breath, and then he’s inside you. All the way to the hilt. You both moan in relief. 

“You’re so tight.” he declares, his eyes rolling back into his head. He’s not going to last even a thrust. It’s already too good. But he begins to move anyway, eventually finding a slow, deep rhythm.

He was wrong. This is his most favorite thing to do. Be buried in your pussy, with your arms and legs wrapped around him as you moan his name over and over. Definitely his favorite.

“Faster…please… harder…oh Hannie…fuck.” You claw at his back trying to pull him even deeper. He obliges, picking up the pace, fucking you harder. He kneels between your legs again so he can see all of you. The sight is erotic. Seeing all of you at once, with your legs folded and pushed up high and wide. Your breasts bouncing with every thrust. And the expression on your face as you look down at where you’re connected almost makes him fill you right then and there.

“I’m coming, Hannie… I’m…don’t stop! Come with me. Come inside me!” You’re already trembling beneath him, and there’s no way in hell he’d be able to stop himself coming inside you even if he wanted to. He’s about to burst. Not just his cock, but his heart too. He loves you too much. He takes his thumb back to your clit and focuses on bringing you over the edge. He feels your walls squeeze tight around him like a vice, and it sends him over as well. With a few last shaky thrusts, he releases himself inside of you with a deep moan.

“Noona… Fuck…” he pants and collapses on top of you. “That was the best feeling in the whole world. I don’t know how anyone gets anything done when they could be doing that!” 

—-----------

The day passes far too quickly as you fill the rest of the day with lovemaking, food, drinks, and even more lovemaking. You both don't want to miss a single moment of each other. Night comes too quickly, and despite trying your best to stay awake, sleep eventually takes you both as you lay in his arms.

-----------

The sun streams through the window waking you from your sleep. You feel Han's arm laying heavy across your waist. It wasn't a dream. Your eyes snap open to find him fast asleep, mouth open, and still very much human size.

You watch him until he finally stirs and opens his eyes. "Am I still big? Are we still naked?" He asks sleepily.

You grin in response. "Yes. You're still big. And we’re still naked. " You lean down and kiss his cheek.

"So we can have more sex today?" he adds, rubbing his eyes.

"Anything you want, my love." You say and let your hand wander down to rest on his erect cock. Flicking the sheet off of him, you begin to kiss your way down his body, savoring every inch of his skin, ensuring you remember this moment forever. You pause when you reach his cock, admiring the way it looks. Fucking perfect. Mouthwatering. You waste no time taking him in your hand and bringing your tongue to the underside of his shaft. 

He releases a sharp breath. “Fuck, Noona. Please…are you gonna suck me off? Please suck my cock, Noona.” he begs, lifting his head and looking down at you. You give him a sly look and swirl your tongue around the tip, and he throws his head back down onto the pillow, surrendering to you and your plans.

You take your time teasing him, alternating between kitten licks to the tip, to long languid strokes of your tongue along the shaft. His breathless pants turn to whimpers, then finally a deep, relieving groan as you sink your mouth over him. You take as much of him into your throat as you possibly can, and even though your eyes start to water, you take him even deeper.

“Baby, Noona…This is…your mouth… How can you even breathe right now?” He can barely get the words out. “So good… ngh…s’good.” he squeezes his eyes closed trying his hardest not to thrust into you. His hands thread through your hair and rest on the back of your head. You hope he pushes you down further so you take absolutely everything, and when he does, you feel your cunt tighten and your arousal leaking between your legs. 

Your lips are pressed to his pelvis and he isn’t letting you go. You are finding it hard to breathe, but you don’t care. You want more. You feel him getting close when his cock hardens even more and he starts thrusting into your throat. Yes. This is what you need. 

Han gets noisier as he approaches his climax, then you feel it. The familiar taste of his hot cum hits the back of your throat. He cries out then stills, releasing his hands from your head and relaxing into the bed.

As usual, you swallow every last drop. There is so much more compared to normal, the fluid coating the back of your mouth, then you make your way up to kiss his lips. 

Han grins at you with hooded eyes. “Fuck, Noona! That was so fucking goog.”

“You don’t know how many times I’ve pictured doing that for you, Hannie.” You smile and curl up to his side.

“Noona?” he says, stroking your arm.

“Mmm. Yes my love?” you hum.

“Do you think…after we fuck again, we can go out? There’s something I want to do.”

You turn your head to gaze at him. “Of course. Anything you want, my love.” you say again, but this time with a curious tone.

-----------

"Are you sure I don’t look weird?" Han isn't convinced that the sweatpants and tee you have given him are gender neutral.

"You're fine, I promise. Just trust me?" You reply, locking your front door.  You take his hand in yours and begin to up your front path. As you reach the sidewalk, he begins to have second thoughts. Sure he's been out of the house with you before. In your handbag, hidden away. Safe. Unseen. Maybe this isn't a good idea after all, he thinks to himself. Maybe he shouldn't have such lofty ideas? But he's not going to have another opportunity to do this. So he has to be brave.

“”What would you like to do, Hannie?” 

“There’s something I’ve thought about doing for a while now. Buy you flowers.” He gestures to the flower shop across from your home. 

Your eyes light up and a smile washes over your features. “I’d absolutely love that!” You squeeze his hand and look up at him. “I love you Hannie.” You say and kiss him on the lips.

“Noona, y-you can’t do that!” He stutters.

“Do what, sweetie?” You tease, and kiss him again. This time a little longer.

He pushes you away gently. “You’re getting me hard.” He whispers sternly and looks around to make sure no one can notice.

“Okay, Han. No public display of affection. Got it.” You pinch his chubby cheek.

The flower shop isn't very big, but it manages to accommodate so many flowers and bouquets that fill every corner and surface. Han takes in the floral scents, and the vibrancy of the colors, and smiles when his eyes land on what he's looking for.

"Can I help you with anything?" the shop owner asks cheerfully.

"Yes, can I please have the bouquet of purple tulips?" he says proudly.

The owner, who's name tag says 'Jules', takes the bouquet back to the counter to ring up the price. "That will be $60."

That's right. He has no money. He closes his eyes for a moment, berating himself. Of course he can't pay. He has no bank account. No identification. He's not a citizen of... anywhere really. He's an alien.

"That's okay, I've got it. He forgot his wallet today." You step in from out of nowhere and take care of paying for the flowers.

Ashamed by his inadequacy, Han steps away from the counter, and busies himself by looking at the corner with some potted houseplants. He quite likes the houseplants you own, often sitting underneath the leaves pretending to be somewhere outdoors. He chuckles to himself at how silly that sounds when movement behind one of the pot plants catches his eye.

Intrigued, he crouches down and ever so slowly nudges one of the plants to the side. His eyes widen and he almost stumbles backward when he sees a little man, the size of a Ken doll, looking up at him.

The same man that he’s seen kissing and holding Jules the shop owner multiple times.

Han blinks, not believing what he is seeing, but when he opens his eyes the little man is gone. Where did he go? Did he imagine it? He starts shifting plant pots around, desperately trying to find him.

"Hannie. I'm done now." you call to him from the shop entrance.

----------

"Hannie, what's wrong?" You ask as you both step outside onto the sidewalk. "Is it about paying for these?" You hold up the tulips.

"No, Noona. It's not that." He turns to look back at the shop.

"Han? You look like you've seen a ghost. Are you okay? Are you feeling okay?" You press your hand to his forehead. Sweaty and warm. Is he getting sick?

"I'm fine. Just... the forty eight hours are coming to an end tonight." He frowns.

You drop your head. You have been trying your best not to think about it. Today was so perfect, spending time with Han like a proper couple. It felt so heartwarming watching him with his big, curious eyes as he interacted with his surroundings.

You take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the flowers. "What made you choose these?" you ask him curiously.

"Well," He starts, as you begin to walk back towards your home. "From what I read on the internet they are a symbol of perfect love." He smiles sheepishly. "It also said that they symbolize rebirth, as well as being known to help us let go of the past and embrace the future with renewed optimism and hope." he adds, proud to have remembered the details he'd read.

"I think that sounds perfect." You smile warmly and kiss him on the cheek.

---------------

Dinner is a quiet affair. The quietest it’s ever been. Usually at dinner time you share your day with each other, listening intently, offering advice or support, or whatever each of you needed that night. Tonight you’re both thinking about the same thing. That your time together like this is coming to an end. Neither of you want to talk about the elephant in the room, so you both stay silent. 

After a while you see Han set his knife and fork on his plate and stand up, walking around to your side of the table. You look up at him and he offers his hand out to you. Wordlessy, you take it and let him lead you to your bedroom.

He’s not gentle as he pushes you down onto the mattress and practically rips your clothes off before climbing on top of you and taking you in a rough, heated kiss. He shoves his tongue past your lips and you thread your fingers through his hair to pull him into an even deeper, even more feral kiss. He pulls away only to remove his own garments, then he forces your legs apart so he can line his cock up to your entrance. 

Without any preparation, or warning, he pushes the entire length of his cock into you in one go. You cry out at the intrusion, but part your legs further. You need him inside you, to consume you.

He’s careless with his thrusts, and his hands grope and squeeze, bruising your flesh. There’s a look of anger and resentment in his eyes. You know it’s not because of you, but at this whole situation. It feels so unfair to have a glimpse of how life could be, and know that it’s never going to be like this again. You love Hannie no matter what. But this feels so good too. Why? Why let you experience this, only to have torn away so quickly?

“Are you gonna remember me like this forever, Noona? How full I make you? How deep inside you I am? How hard I can fuck you?” He growls. “Tell me. Tell me you’ll never forget it. Cos I’m never going to forget how your pussy feels around me. Squeezing me tight. Tell me I’m your favorite. Tell me I feel better than anyone before me.” 

Han’s words are aggressive, and so is the way he’s fucking you. But his voice is full of heartbreak and angst. You want him to give you everything. His sadness, his anger, you want him to take it out on you. 

He thrusts his hips even harder against your body, and his cock slams into your cervix, causing you to cry out his name.

“Hannie!” You choke. He doesn’t slow down or go easy on you. You can barely breathe. 

“Say it… please…Tell me your mine.” he sobs, but he doesn’t slow down.

“I’m yours, Hannie…forever.” you whimper.

He leans down over you, caging you underneath him. “Come for me. Come on my cock.” He growls, his hot breath against your ear. “I wanna feel your pussy choke me one last time.”

It’s too much and you come hard around him, sobbing against his shoulder.

“That’s it…Yes…Fuck! I’m coming too!” He grunts as he thrusts his hips a few more times and empties himself inside you.

You stay like this for a while. Breathless and sweating. Eventually, he lifts his head and looks down on you. “Did I hurt you?” He asks with a concerned expression.

You shake your head. “It was passionate. I needed you to fuck me like that.” You sigh. He closes his eyes softly in relief, then withdraws his softened cock from you. 

Neither of you move to clean up, or even get a drink, or even say another word. You simply lay in the comfort of each other’s arms as though the world was about to end.

---------

You fall asleep first, but Han can't sleep. He doesn't want to sleep. So he watches you sleep instead. He cups your cheek. He needs to burn the image of this into his brain, for tomorrow his hand will barely be able to wrap around your pinky finger. These past forty eight hours were a dream come true, but he’s not sure how he’ll get over it either. 

-------------

You wake to find your bed empty. "Han?" You call out and search the bed, lifting the blankets. Sometimes he ends up tangled in them, but he isn't there.

You hop out of bed, slip on your robe and head out into the kitchen. You find him sitting on the windowsill above the sink. Small as ever. You feel a sadness in your chest and bite your lip as you approach him. "Hannie?" You say softly, leaning your arms on the counter next to the sink so your face is close to him.

"I'm okay Noona." he sighs, but doesn't turn to face you.

"You want me to fix you some breakfast before I go to work?" You ask hopefully, but he shakes his head.

The usual conversation that you have when you get ready for work is replaced with a heavy, awkward silence.

"You know, Hannie, you are perfect to me no matter what. Your personality, your heart - it’s bigger than that of any man in the world.” You say as you turn to leave the kitchen and head out the front door for work.

--------------

Han hasn’t left the windowsill in days. He hasn’t washed, he's barely eaten. The spark you love so much in him has dimmed, and you’re frightened that it won't come back. It's not like you can get him therapy. No one knows about him. No one can know about him.

Every day you leave for work not knowing what you'll find when you return home. What if he’s left? What if he's-" No you won't let yourself even go there.

Those forty eight hours of him being big was not worth it, and if you could take it back and go back to how things were before, you'd do it in a heartbeat. You just want your Hannie back.

--------------

Han knows you love him. But he can't help but feel depressed. He feels worse now than he has ever felt in his entire, albeit short, life. It's like him becoming big was some sick, cruel joke. Like it was to taunt him. To show him how good it could really be, how good it could really feel, to be a human, just to snatch it away from him.

It isn't just depression that's consuming him. It's an obsession with the flower shop and that little man he had seen that day.

For ten days now he’s stared at the shop hoping to catch a glimpse of...something... anything that might give him answers or closure. They know something. He can feel it.

Then finally it happens. Han hurries to a kneeling position, face pressed against the glass to catch a better look.

The man is back. As a human sized man. Han guesses he's seen this man maybe four times over as many months. He stands in the doorway waving to a customer before going back into the shop. It definitely looks like the little guy he saw standing by the pot plant.

You probably imagined it. You were probably over excited from the sex with Noona. Can sex make you hallucinate? Han isn't sure of anything anymore. Except that the miniature man was either imaginary, or, he has the answers Han's looking for.

-------------------

You leave work early and pick up a cheesecake. Han hasn’t eaten in days and you hope his favorite dessert might perk him up a little bit, even if it’s just a sugar rush.

You open your front door kicking your shoes off, and make your way upstairs to your main living area. The house is eerily quiet, even with a depressed Han it's too quiet. Something is off. Something is wrong.

“Hannie?” You call out. No answer. You place the cheesecake box on the counter. He’s not on his windowsill. Maybe he’s asleep somewhere? You check your bedroom next. He isn’t there either. You search every room, calling out his name.

Nothing.

He’s gone. He’s actually gone! Why? Why would he leave? Where would he go? What if he’s hurt? What if he’s - you gulp. You start to panic and begin to check everywhere again. Maybe he fell into a drawer? Maybe he’s stuck somewhere?

Again, nothing.

He really was gone.

—-----------

Han has never ventured out of the house by himself before. Well this month has been full of firsts, he thinks. Why not climb down the stairs and sneak out of a slightly ajar window?

He jumps down from the window sill and tumbles into the garden, surprisingly unscathed. He is on a mission and nothing is going to stop him.

Determination takes over any fear of being eaten by the neighbors cat, or being runover by a car, as he carefully treks across the road to the flower shop.

He hasn't even planned what he’s going to say. What if he's mistaken and the owner faints? What if she kills him? Or kidnaps him? Tortures him? No. He shakes his head. The lady was really nice the other day. People love to go to her shop. It'll be fine.

By the time Han reaches the threshold he is hot, sweaty and very thirsty. He looks up to looming doorway and swallows hard. Here goes nothing.

He slips inside, carefully seeking the cover of a nearby flower pot. The shop looks gigantic compared to last time he was there.

He notices something that he missed the last time. That the entire shop is set up suspiciously accessible for him. Like it was made for someone his size. Strings from buntings and signs dangle in such a way that Han would be able to reach just about any shelf he wished. Some shelves look to have mini rope ladders, and there seems to be plenty of places to hide and watch customers, or your Noona.

He quickly climbs up one of the rope ladders where he can get a better view of the sales counter. Jules is there finishing serving a customer. But where is the man?

Han doesn’t have to wait for long. The man emerges from a back storeroom with a gift bag for the customer.

“Oh Minho! You’re back in town!” The customer exclaims in a high pitch voice. “How was your work trip?” She gives this Minho a kiss on the cheek.

“Adventurous as usual.” He winks at her.

“Well it’s good to see you.” She takes her flowers and gift bag, smiling as she leaves the shop.

“Take care Mrs Maple!” Minho waves after her then turns to Jules. “Finally, I’ve got you alone, kitten.” He smirks and closes the gap between them. “Maybe we could close up for lunch? Head back into the storeroom?” He kisses her neck.

“You’re always so horny, Minho.” She teases. “Don’t think I don’t know you masturbate behind the flower pot while I work.”

Wait! What? Han’s eyes almost pop out of his head and he stumbles knocking an ornamental garden gnome off the shelf.

Jules and Minho’s eyes land on the smashed gnome. Then they lift their gaze, eyes landing straight on Han.

Fuck! He freezes to the spot.

The pair look confused and make their way over to where Han is standing pretending to be gnome himself, and crouch down so they are eye level with him.

“It’s the customer from the other day.” Jules remarks. “He didn’t have any money.” She adds.

Han crosses his arm and pouts.

“He’s the one I told you about. The one that saw me on the shelf.” Minho adds.

“Excuse me?” Han interrupts. “I was hoping you could help me. You see, I live across the street with my Noona. She was the woman I was with when I came in the other day. And…anyway… I sit in the window sill and watch the flower shop. Not in a creepy way.” He is sure to add. “And I’ve seen him…Minho, or whatever your name is,” he points to the man “a few times… Then when I came in, he… he was small.”

“And you were big.” Minhos’s eyes glisten and he rubs his chin deviously. “And now you’re small!”

“Exactly! And I need to know… are you one of those miniature companions like me? And if so, why do you keep getting big? And… and is it the same for all of us? Is it different depending on the batch? Do some of us get big and others don’t?” Han’s out of breath by the time he’s finished.

“What’s your name?” Jules asks kindly.

“Han.” He replies and plops down, crossing his legs.

“Han?” She repeats thoughtfully.

“Do you recognise the name, babe?” Minho enquires.

Jules nods. “Yes. I believe he was also part of the range I purchased you from. The Skz range. I don’t think he was ready yet. How long have you been with your owner?”

“Just on a year.” He replies.

Jules and Minho exchange looks, then turn back to Han.

“Well, Han, buddy,” he says. “I think we might be able to answer your questions.”

—-----------

Eventually, after tearing your house apart in the hopes to find Han and failing, you flop yourself on your couch feeling empty and numb. You don’t even notice that your doorbell is ringing, but then a loud knock on the door makes you almost jump out of your skin.

“Yeah okay, I’m coming!” You call out as you head downstairs. With a sigh, you open the front door to find the woman who owns the flower shop across the street, and a man who you’ve seen a few times around the place, standing there. The woman holds a basket in her hands, and the man holds an amused look on his face.

Great. You’re not in the mood for interaction.

The woman’s eyes widen when she sees your tear streaked face.

“Uh, sorry to bother you. I’m Jules. From the flower shop across the street.” She smiles awkwardly. “And this is my, um, partner, Minho.” She gestures to the man next to her.

You continue to stand there, saying nothing.

Jules coughs, clearing her throat. “We’ve brought your Hannie home.” She declares.

“Noona!” Han’s head pops out of the basket.

Your hand comes up to cover your mouth. “Why do you have my Han?” You choke. Your eyes dart from Jules to Minho, confused and scared. Han is supposed to be a secret. You can’t have outsiders knowing about him.

“I went to them, Noona. They have something to tell you! Can’t you let us inside already?” He whines.

A whining Han is a good sign. You nod and usher them inside.

————-

You’re back on your couch, this time with Jules and Minho on the couch across from you, and your little Hannie on the cushion next to you. You’re relieved he’s back, but also so mad at his reckless behavior. He could’ve gotten himself killed. He and Minho are enjoying a piece of cheesecake, like this is some normal afternoon gathering of friends.

“So you have something to tell me?” You say looking to Jules.

“We do. You see, Han came to us because he saw my miniature companion in the flower shop the day you both came in.” She starts.

Your eyes widen. “You know about them? You’ve got one?”

Jules nods. “Yes. Minho here is my companion.”

“Hi.” He waves.

“He’s your companion?” You arch an eyebrow.

“Yes, he’s got his monthly grown up pants on at the moment, but most of the time he’s small like Han.” She nods her head towards Han.

You shake your head in disbelief. “One minute Han is doll sized, then suddenly out of nowhere he’s big.”

“She really didn’t read the manual, hey Han?” Minho chuckles.

“Then I find out there’s another tiny man running around across the street?” You continue, ignoring Minho’s remark.

“Hey, I’m far from tiny!” Minho turns to you with a deadly glare.

“Calm down sweetie.” Jules pats his thigh. “He’s not really cold and cynical.” She reassures you.

“He’s cocky isn’t he?” You say lightheartedly to Jules but your eyes are firmly on Minho. “You know you were able to read their traits on the website and select accordingly?” You say jokingly.

“That’s why she chose me. For my cock-iness.” Minho leans back into the couch.

“He was the only one who was cat friendly. I have three cats, you see.” Jules playfully punches Minho in the arm.

“Hah! You love my cock-y personality.”

“I do.” Jules admits and leans against him.

The pair are fascinating, but you need to know more. “What did you mean by monthly grown up pants?” You ask.

“Once a month I grow into the size of a human for two days.” Minho shares. “It’s a fault in the Skz manufacturing process.”

“You didn’t receive the recall email from the company?” Jules turns back to you surprised.

You shake your head.

“There was a form in the back of...the manual...that you could send in so you’d receive any important information. Like recalls and such.”

“Noona only read up to the part where it says I can ejaculate.” Han pipes up, his mouth full of food.

“Hannie! Don’t, you’re embarrassing me. Sorry, he hasn’t been socialized.” You say bashfully.

“I think these two will become best friends.” Jules laughs looking at the two men. “Han did say this whole human size situation came as a surprise to you both.”

“I feel so stupid. I didn’t read the whole manual.  I’m such an irresponsible companion owner.” 

“There was a recall on the Skz range because they were only supposed to grow big the once, not once every month. Purchasers were given the option to return the companion if they chose.”

“And she chose to keep me.” Minho adds.

“Would you have sent me back, Noona? If you’d known about the recall?” Han looks up at you with his boba eyes.

“Of course not. I love you. I just wish I’d known all this so we could have been prepared. Looked forward to it, even.”

“It’s okay, Noona. I think it has worked out for the best this way.” He looks at each of you. “I’ve finally got friends!” He says gleefully.

Jules and Minho leave shortly after, to have some alone time before his “grown up pants become too big”.

Han is exhausted from his adventure, and just wants to snuggle up on your chest and watch anime. Neither of you say much. There's no point in being angry at him for venturing out alone, and you're just happy to have him back in one piece.

Neither of you are really watching the anime either. Instead you're both smiling inwardly, imagining what life is going to look like from now on.

—————-

A little update on our y/n and Hannie:

Over the next year, Han and Minho have become inseparable, spending almost as much time with each other as they do with you and Jules.

You’ve introduced Han to your family. He was so nervous at first, but once he realized they approved of him, he was okay.

He learned to play guitar, and even commissioned a guitar maker to make a scaled down working model of an acoustic guitar so he can play whenever he feels like it.

------------

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this little fic. I loved writing it, even though it took me so long to have the energy to put the ideas into words. Thank you so much for reading. Your support encourages me to keep writing.

If you enjoy the more plot driven, lovey dovey fics, I have a few others on my main blog @moonlightndaydreams and I think I will probably cross post this fic as a oneshot over there to keep all my longer Hannie fics together.

Sorsha x.

----------------

@kayleefriedchicken @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @katsukis1wife @jeonginsleftcheek @ihrtlino @ivydoesit23 @gnab-nahc @skzstan12345 @youcanstayyeah @binnieonabike @hanniemylovelyquokka @moasworld @binniesbabe @courtnort455 @yongbokkiesworld @felixleftchickennugget @bangchans-angel @heerinnie @meilix

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[meazalykov]

acts of service

sydney lohmann x bayern!reader

summary: you and your girlfriend's love languages revolve around words of affirmation and acts of service

opening your eyes, you took a few moments to move your head up. seeing that the orange retro clock on your bedside table says “6:45 AM”, you smacked your head back onto the soft pillow and closed your eyes. you didn’t need to wake up for another hour. training for the pre-season starts at ten o’clock so you wanted all of the sleep that you could get. 

it wasn’t five minutes until you closed your eyes that you flipped your body to its side. usually, your leg would come into contact with your girlfriend's leg while doing this in the morning. so, when your leg landed onto the soft mattress instead, your eyes shot open-- seeing an open space. 

sydney isn’t the girlfriend that will wake up first in the mornings, its always you. this wasn’t normal, so you moved your tired body to sit up.

your hands moved to rub your eyes before you heard the front door in the apartment close shut from the living room. 

your eyebrows knitted together, knowing that sydney must’ve left to go somewhere or she is coming back from somewhere. she didn’t leave too long ago, as you woke up to use the bathroom at 5:00am and saw sydney sleeping.

as you take the pink comforter off of your body, you hear footsteps approaching the room along with the aroma of your favorite breakfast wafting through the air. 

your legs were on the edge of the bed as sydney stops in the doorway with a surprised look--- she is surprised to see you awake. 

you looked at the brown paper bag in her right hand with suspicion as syd had a grin on her face. in her left hand, sydney held a 2-drink cup carrier with two drinks placed inside of them. 

“baby, did you really just-?” you cut yourself off as you stood up in front of her, surprised at the gesture. you took the drink carrier out of her left hand as she moved to the other side of the large bedroom to grab the two bed trays you guys keep in the closets. 

“yes i did!!” sydney said excitedly, which surprised you because the clock turned to 7am and usually sydney isn’t too energized this early. 

you look down at the two drinks to see two iced lattes. one was a bit darker than the lighter one with strawberry cold foam on top of it. that one is yours, considering that sydney knows your order for the cafe on the corner of the same street you both live on. 

sydney pulls out the food in the bag and you notice both of your favorite orders being sat on the bed trays. 

the german girl usually orders an avocado toast topped with hard-boiled egg and a plain croissant. you get a plain croissant too, along with a plain bagel with light cream cheese. 

the golden morning light filters through the ivory colored curtains, casting a warm glow over both of your features as you start to eat.

"i forgot to tell you good morning, sleepyhead," she starts to speak, her voice a melodic whisper. 

“good morning, early bird,” you joked. this is a joke that started between the both of you even before you guys started a relationship two years ago. 

everytime you woke up before her, which was everyday until this morning, she called you an early-bird because you were fully awake by the time she would wake up. most times, you’d have to force her to wake up with you so you aren’t late to training or games with bayern. 

it looks like the roles switched this morning.

"I thought I'd surprise you when I saw that you were still asleep." sydney blushed as she looked at you sipping on the strawberry latte. it was made perfectly. 

"this tastes amazing, but you’re even more amazing for this," you murmur, placing the iced drink down and stretching your tired arms before smiling at your girlfriend with tons of love in your eyes. "I don't know how you always know exactly what I need."

sydney laughs softly. "it's a gift. now, eat. we've gotta go training soon."

you spend the morning together, savoring each bite and sip. the intimacy of the moment is a reminder of why you love her so deeply. this isn’t the first time you’ve done this, it's almost a weekly thing. most of the time its you going down to the cafe and picking up sydney’s iced hazelnut latte though. 

a week later, shortly after the first game of the season, sydney fell ill. her usual happy energy was diminished by a fever and sore throat. you both share an apartment, so you’re more than prepared and determined to take care of her.

sydney can be a little stubborn. at first, she said she was fine but you made her rest after taking medicine (given by the doctors at bayern) so she will feel better.

its been an hour since she fell asleep in a nap--- you start chores in the kitchen by tackling the dishes piled high in the sink, the clinking of plates and running water calms your mind as your tv in the living room serves as a nice background noise. next, you move on to do the laundry. 

usually, sydney has a huge preference of doing the laundry while you tackle the dishes. both of you share the same clothes in the huge closet in the bedroom– so you chose to do all of the laundry this time to make her life easier. 

in the laundry room– you threw most of the clothes in the washer and looked in the cabinets where you keep the detergents and other things. sydney likes to use the vanilla scented fabric beads for the washer– while you like the fresh clean scented ones– so you chose to use the vanilla beads with the regular laundry detergent. 

you have to come back and do another two loads, considering how much clothes you and sydney own, so you sort out all of the jerseys and training gear, placing them in a pile so you’re prepared to wash those too after the first load is finished.

when you go to check on sydney in the bedroom, you find her awake. she has the tv on and is watching one of her favorite netflix movies. you felt terrible, sydney is shivering and you hated to see your sunshine so miserable while being sick. 

“hey sweetheart.” you sat on the edge of the bed and ran your hands through sydney’s soft, yet tangled, hair. you felt terrible and knew you had to get sydney cleaned up. 

"i know you might not like this but let’s get you cleaned up, sunshine. it might help you feel better." you say softly. due to her sore throat, she can’t speak much without irritation. you understand as you pull the pink comforter off of her body, helping the taller girl stand up as you led her into the bathroom ten steps away. 

you undress the woman who was just settled into a sports bra and shorts before. you take your hands and help her into the shower, supporting her weight as the warm water cascades down her body. 

first, you let her sit down as you started to wash her hair first. this step takes about 20 minutes, since you mainly gave her head massages while cleaning her scalp. after saturating one of your hydrating hair masks into her hair, you helped her stand up in the warm (not hot) shower.

next, you take the antibacterial soap as you started to wash away the sweat and sickness from her body. 

as you take the silicone scrub and clean her body, you rub her back and murmur comforting words, feeling her sick body relax under your touch.

after double cleansing her body with her favorite citrus scented soap, you washed the hair mask out of her hair and helped her sit back down. you plugged the tub and allowed the water to run, adding a few of her favorite essential oils and bubble bath soap that will calm her body and mind. 

you didn’t notice– or care– that your entire front side is soaked. you didn’t get into the shower and bath with her, but you allowed her wet body to hold onto your clothed body. your blue shirt sticks to your front due to how soaked it is, along with your white pajama shorts, but you didn’t care. 

sydney stayed close to the edge of the tub as she held onto you. you sat on your knees outside of the tub and cuddled with your arms wrapped around her body. 

this might’ve been dumb, considering that you can catch her sickness next and miss out on the next game against slavia praha– you couldn’t care less knowing that your sweetheart is sick. 

"you're too good to me," you hear sydney whisper, her voice weak but filled with gratitude as she felt your small kisses on the back of her shoulder.

"you're everything to me syd," you reply, moving your body over so you could kiss her cheek. "i’d do anything for you."

two weeks later– it was the evening on a day off from soccer-related stuff. sydney started to get over her sickness a week prior, so she is back to normal. 

as you both sit in the living room, with you on the floor in-between sydney’s legs on the couch— sydney’s fingers weave through your hair with practiced ease. 

"hold still," she instructed as your head looked up at the TV playing mean girls. the german is concentrating on forming perfect french braids in your hair. you feel her breath against the top of your head, her presence is calming. the gentle tugging and twisting of your hair is almost meditative, each braid giving a symbol of her love and care.

when anybody plays with your hair, your body goes into relaxation. since it's sydney playing with your hair, you could’ve fallen asleep right here. your eyes continue to close and shut as sydney continues to move her fingers in your hair.

"why do you always braid my hair?" you ask softly, smiling at the thought with your eyes closed in relaxation. 

during games for bayern, you’re an attacking midfielder– or a forward if someone is injured– who is considered to be one of the best. 

many pictures taken of you during games capture you with nice french braids in your hair– or with a low ponytail that's braided. sydney is the hairstylist behind those braids which made her so happy seeing you on the pitch with them nicely finished.

"because i love your hair– it's so soft, and i know it makes you relax." she replies simply as she ties together the first braid. 

a month later-- after a particularly harsh game at bayern, with sydney getting into a fight with a ref that gave her a yellow card– you both return home. 

her shoulders are slumped and her eyes are filled with frustration as her mind replayed the moment when she got a yellow card. 

you got a yellow card too earlier in that game, after failing to side tackle a ball– and hitting the wolfsburg forwards ankles instead– but you brushed it off as a mistake. however, you can see the weight of her bad moment pressing down on her. 

in the car and in the locker room you gave her space– now you’re back home. without a word, you wrap your arms around her on the couch, pulling her into a tight embrace. sydney melts into you, her facade cracking as she lets out a shuddering breath.

you held her hand and caressed her face with your fingers. "talk to me," you urge gently. sydney used to have a thing for holding her thoughts inside of her mind until they exploded. now, she is aware that she can talk to you about anything. 

“i’m so mad! the ref saw that she pushed me first, so why did i get the yellow card while she was able to walk away with no consequences.” sydney begins to unload, her words tumbling out in a rush of emotion. 

by “she”, sydney is referring to a wolfsburg defender who pushed her from behind as she tried to pass a ball to you. you listen intently, knowing that sydney is telling the truth. as you watched sydney fall to the ground, all of your teammates ran over to the ref and demanded a foul and yellow card for the player’s action. 

you on the other hand, you ran over to help sydney up from the ground. she acknowledged your support but jogged over to the ref. the conversation was short but got heated quickly. your eyes widened when you saw the ref pull out the yellow card looking at sydney.

as sydney continued to talk, you offered words of reassurance and understanding. sometimes, refs make the calls you don’t like– and all you can do is move on. 

after getting her to calm down by cuddling on the couch and watching the women’s el clasico match on live television, sydney spoke out randomly as the game paused for halftime. 

"y/n, i feel a lot better after talking about what happened. thank you– you're always here for me," she murmurs, her head resting on your shoulder as she gives you a kiss on your neck. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"you don’t have to thank me baby, it's what i love to do– and you'll never have to find out what it's like without me," you promise, stroking her hair. "we're in this together, forever and always."

<3

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi friends! Just a day after this years Yule and a few days out from Christmas, regardless of what you celebrate during this winter months, we're gonna be cooking a tangy tango between two traditional english staples-

Yule Plum Pudding and Wassail from Lord of the Rings Online!

(You can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to this Yule Plum Pudding?” YOU MAY ASKPlum Pudding is not a "pudding" as us americans think of it; its closer to a fruitcake but less shit.

Cranberries

White raisins

Macerated prunes (in brandy)

Chopped candied peel

Blanched almonds

All-purpose flour

Cinnamon

Nutmeg

Cloves

Sugar

Breadcrumbs

Lemon zest

Unsalted butter

Eggs

Whole milk

Half a bottle of brandy

It also doesnt contain any capital-P plums! it actually does contain plums im so fucking stupid i never connected the dots that prunes were dried plums oh my god. But they still ued any dried fruit, and "Plum" here is just referring to any dried fruit. And what about the birth of todays wassail?

4 cooking apples

2 pears

Brown sugar

Cinnamon sticks

2 lemons

A bottle of sherry

The other half bottle of brandy

Wassail is very similar to apple cider drank in the fall, with a few differences like the addition of pears and different alcohol source. It was commonly drank while "wassailing" which was a Yuletide predecessor to christmas carolling. People would go door-to-door with a big bowl of wassail, play music, and give well wishes- offering drinks from the wassail in return for small gifts!

AND, “what does Yule Plum Pudding and Wassail taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

The puddings like a fruitcake but if a fruit cake tasted good and wasnt a brick

Its thick and rich, and somehow actually tastes like plum despite that not being intended or making sense

I love the macerated prunes so much. Juicy berries to forage for. Enrichment

The icings reminiscent of buttercream but more savory than sweet

The wassail is like drinking the golden edges off the clouds at sunset

Its got a little bit of the dryness from the sherry that makes your mouth water the moment you stop drinking it

You just want to keep drinking more to sate yourself

Even without eggs its surprisingly full bodied and thick

I had to make a few substitutions from traditional elements due to either being not available or too expensive, but with a little problem-solving nothing was too hard to do.

. Used a bundt cake pan instead of a pudding tin .  Suet (animal fat) was historically used for plum pudding. I couldnt find any and used butter instead . Used golden delicious apples when called for . Used concorde pears when called for . Some wassail recipes fold in egg whites before serving, to make the drink creamier. I didnt do this, but if you do, the recommendation to drink it fresh still stands (and strongly)

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I gotta admit, I was nervous approaching this recipe. Not only because I didn't own and couldnt find a "pudding tin" without ordering online, or because the concept of steaming a pastry(?) feels foreign and odd, but also because of how old and storied this dish is. You always run into the issue with historical foods who date back to the times where oral history was the only history. The issue of people being combative that their recipe is the only true variant of the recipe, and all the others are mucking the whole thing up.

Its good to remember that like with most dishes, cooking is something that evolved and continues to evolve overtime. Unless someones trying to rewrite history and claim that ants on a log is a creme brule in which case you should run them over with a '98 Pontiac Sunfire.

Theres a few things I'd do differently when cooking again, like chopping the blanched almonds. They were a bit too big when left whole. And adding some amount of heavy cream to the icing? Maybe? To give it a fluffier/milkier feel? But the proces of cooking itself was very straightforward and I have no real complaints or modifications to make. When having leftovers of the pudding it did seem to "mature" and taste better and better the more days i kept it in the fridge, so thats something to keep in mind! But it tastes great a day after all the same.

I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Happy winter everyone! Congrats to another year of staying alive!

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Yule Plum Pudding Ingredients:

16oz cranberries

12oz white raisins

9oz macerated prunes

4oz chopped candied peel (any fruit)

2oz blanched, chopped almonds

4oz all-purpose flour

Measure spices with your heart (cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves)

8oz granulated sugar

8oz fresh white breadcrumbs

lemon zest (one lemon)

4oz grated unsalted butter

4 eggs

8oz whole milk

Pudding Icing Ingredients:

1½oz unsalted butter

1½oz all-purpose flour

10½oz whole milk

3oz granulated sugar

2 tablespoons brandy

Yule Plum Pudding Method:

A week before making, macerate your prunes in brandy.

Mix together all the dried fruit, peel, and almonds. Sieve flour and spices together then add to the fruit mixture along with the sugar, breadcrumbs, rind, and grated butter.

Beat eggs and then blend with 8oz of milk.

Stir the egg/milk mixture to incorporate into the dry ingredients. Add prunes, and stir some more.

Put batter into a well-buttered pudding basin, with parchment paper to cover.

Get a large pot and place a kitchen towel or something similar at the bottom- then place the pudding basin on top of the towel, inside the large pot.

Fill the outer pot with water until it’s halfway up the side, cover the pot with a lid (or foil).

Steam on the stovetop at 210f for 4-6 hours depending on size of pudding basin. If the water gets too low, add a bit more.

After steaming, uncover and allow to cool to room temperature. Do not remove it from the pudding basin! Cover with fresh parchment paper and foil and store in a cool, dry place for at least a day.

(optional) to reheat; steam for 40-80 minutes, until warmed through.

Pudding Icing Method:

Place butter in a medium saucepan with the flour, pour in the milk then whisk everything vigorously together over a medium heat.

As soon as it comes to simmering point and has thickened, turn the heat to its lowest setting, stir in the sugar, and let the sauce cook for 10 minutes.

Add the brandy and stir to mix. Keep warm until required.

Wassail Ingredients:

4 cooking apples

2 pears

Brown sugar

4 Cinammon sticks

2 lemon

1 bottle of Sherry

½ bottle of Brandy

Wassail Method:

Core the apples and pears, leave the rest intact, and set in a baking pan. Fill the hollow centers with brown sugar.

Add about an inch of water to the pan and bake at 350f for 30 minutes, or until the fruit is soft.

Move the fruit to a large pot, add a bottle of sherry, half a bottle of brandy, lemon peel, and 4 large cinnamon sticks. (Feel free to use less booze!)

Bring the pot to a simmer for about 45 minutes, stirring occasionally. Strain before serving!

[hiiragi7]

Recently started Transgender History by Susan Stryker, and was pleasantly surprised to see intersex be given about a page and a half of text in the Contexts, Concepts, and Terms section of the book. There are some parts of it which I think are good, some "good enough", and some which I feel miss the mark a bit. Overall, I think Susan Stryker did a pretty decent job here and I'm happy to see intersex included, though I do think there's room for improvement and criticism.

A note I'd like to make here is that this book was originally published in 2008 and revised in 2017, and I'm unsure how much this section in particular was revised since the original publish date - If anyone can find that out I'd be very interested to hear about it!

I'm going to be copying the text from the book here and giving my thoughts on it.

Intersex: Typically, being an egg-producing body means having two X chromosomes, and being a sperm-producing body means having one X and one Y chromosome. When egg and sperm cells fuse (i.e., when sexual reproduction takes place), their chromosomes can combine in patterns (or "karyotypes") other than the typical male (XY) or female (XX) ones (such as XXY or XO). Other genetic anomalies can also cause the sex of the body to develop in atypical ways. Other differences of sex development might take place during pregnancy or after birth as the result of glandular conditions that contribute further differences in the typical development of biological sex. Some of these anomalies cause a body that is genetically XY (typically male) to look typically female at birth. Some bodies are born with genitals that look like a mixture of typically male and typically female shapes. Some genetically female bodies (typically XX) are born without vaginas, wombs, or ovaries. All of these variations on the most typical organization of human reproductive anatomy -- along with many, many more -- are called intersex conditions.

Starting off with examples of intersex variations rather than giving a definition first followed by examples left it hard for me to follow exactly where Stryker was going with it, but that could be a writing style preference; personally I think I would've been a bit lost if I didn't already know what intersex was. Overall I think this starts off pretty solid, gives a good overview of the massive spectrum of sex we're dealing with when we talk about intersex - it doesn't fall into the same "mix of male and female, ambiguous genitals" trap that many other definitions do which I appreciate. The use of typical/atypical (instead of, say, disordered) is good. I also do appreciate the preference for differences of sex development over disorders of sex development.

Intersex used to be called hermaphroditism, but that term is now usually considered perjorative. Some intersex people now prefer the medical term DSD (for Disorders of Sex Development) to describe their sex status, but others reject this term as unduly pathologizing and depoliticizing. Such people might use DSD to refer instead to "differences of sex development," or they might hold on to the word intersex -- or even hermaphrodite, or the slang word herm -- to signal their sense of belonging to a politicized minority community.

This is also good! Really feel like we're addressing the elephants in the room here. Hermaphrodite is perjorative, some intersex people use Disorders of Sex Development but other intersex people consider it unduly pathologizing and depoliticizing and instead use differences of sex development or just intersex (or reclaim Hermaphrodite), and we belong to a politicized minority community. Very cool! Lots of things were said here that other authors are often too afraid to touch on, if they even mention us at all.

Intersex conditions are far more common than we tend to acknowledge; reliable estimates put the number at about one in two thousand births.

Actually, it's more like 1-2 in 100 births, my guess as to what's being referenced is actually the statistics for those born with ambiguous genitals ("The estimated frequency of genital ambiguity is reported to be in the range of 1:2000–1:4500" [Link]), which is disappointing. I do appreciate Stryker going against the "intersex is rare" myth, though.

Intersex doesn't really have all that much to do with transgender, except for demonstrating that the biology of sex is a lot more variable than most people realize. This becomes significant when you have cultural beliefs about there being only two sexes, and therefore only two genders.

Stryker lost me here. Intersex doesn't have much to do with transgender except as a demonstration of the variability of sex? I'm tired of people saying intersexuality's only relation to transgender is this when there are many more connections to be found between the two. It's exhausting to have your community be constantly stripped down to a singular point or a debate tool for someone else's use. Didn't like this part.

These beliefs can lead to intersex people becoming the target of medical interventions such as genital surgery or hormone therapy, often while they are still infants or young children, to "correct" their supposed "abnormality". It is being subjected to the same cultural beliefs about gender, and acted on by the same medical institutions, through the same body-altering techniques that give intersex people and transgender people the most common ground.

This part is better, and I do like the connection between intersex and trans people here. I do believe that acknowledging that both communities are impacted by much of the same systems and techniques is good and should be further talked about.

Some trans people who think that their need to cross gender boundaries has a biological cause consider themselves to have an intersex condition (current theories favor sex-linked differences in the brain), and some people with intersex bodies also come to think of themselves as being transgender (in that they desire to live in a gender different from the one they were assigned at or after birth).

I think that there is... quite a large difference between the two groups suggested here, in a way that makes the comparison uncomfortable. Additionally, I did also notice the difference in "trans people" vs. "people with intersex bodies"; it leaves me wondering why they were referred to differently, especially when "intersex people" was used further up in the passage. Perhaps it's to contrast with, for lack of better words, trans people who consider themselves to have differently-sexed brains which make them intersex?

Still, it's best to think of transgender and intersex identities, communities, and social change movements as being demographically and politically distinct, albeit with some areas of overlap and some shared membership.

Complicated thoughts here. Yes, there are differences in our movements and communities, and yes, we are distinct groups - this is important, especially when a lot of people still try to conflate intersex and trans as being the same. However, I think "some areas of overlap and some shared membership" is really underestimating things; While I believe it's pretty safe to say that most trans people do not identify as intersex or participate in intersex communities or advocate for intersex issues, the opposite doesn't appear to be true - a report from Trevor Project found that "58% of intersex youth identified as transgender or nonbinary or were questioning their gender identity". [Link] (PDF)

These are all my current thoughts, going back to reading the book now.

[cheriladycl01]

Fast Cars on the Island - Oscar Piastri x LoveIslandContestant! Reader Part 3

Plot: Your an engineer for Mclaren and you were asked as a PR stunt to go onto Love Island. You would keep your job of course but Mclaren wanted some more media traction.

A/N: I know they would never do this, and that's why its fiction!

Ian Stirling Intro:

"And its a bright and sunny morning here in Love Island, birds are chirping, the skies are blue... and there's one eager islander already looking at the view - OH! Look at that I'm rhyming" the voice says as it shows the different camera angles in the bedroom until it settles on your bed, showing that only Charlie is in it.

"Seems like our engineer, is an early bird herself... and is cooking the others a nice breakfast. Are we sure she's not part of the McLaren Catering because that looks delicious!" Ian exclaims as it pans to you laying out the scrambled eggs.

"Time to wake up those other islanders!" he says and the footage pans back to the bedroom where the lights turn on and everyone is woken up.

The First Morning:

You waited as all the other islanders come down and you smile as they enter.

"Babes? Whats this?" Auriela asks looking at the stuff you'd cooked and laid out for breakfast.

"I'm an early riser because of my job, so I just thought I'd make a start on breakfast for us!" you smile as they all cheer happily. Charlie comes up behind you, holding your waist before kissing your cheek.

"Thanks sweetheart!" he grins taking a seat next to you and taking an slice of mango from the fruit platter you'd cut up.

"Thank you" Aaron says softly and you smile at him.

You guys spend the morning chatting, exploring the villa, sunbathing, working out and swimming around. It wasn't until about 11.30 that Chris got a text come though.

"I GOT A TEXT!" he shouts from over in the gym and everyone starts gasping, the boys who were in the gym with him - Charlie and Jai start to jump on him excitedly slapping his back acting like little school kids.

"Read it out!" Millie shouts from next to you and Aaron in the pool.

"Islanders, it's time to get to know each other more in todays Challenge 'Kiss and Pie' your positions are fighting for the choice at the next coupling up" Chris reads out and you all look around in shock before getting ready to go to the challenge.

Lando and Oscar:

They boys were watching gearing up for episode 2.

But it was hard, Oscar was struggling seeing you cooking in the bikini and in the gym with the boys and then swimming around with Aaron it was killing him, but when the challenge came around he didn't know what hit him.

The Challenge:

The way the challenge basically worked was a fact about an islander was said out loud and the person who chose it had to kiss the person they thought it was about and then shove pie in the person you thought least likely. Pie being literally whipped cream.

"Okay, who has broken up with their boyfriend of 5 years after he proposed to her..." Chris says in shock before all the boys huddle round and start discussing.

He goes up, kissing Zavi making her blush a little.

"I'm so-so sorry Y/N!" he cringes before shoving the plate of whipped cream in your face, it falling down in between your cleavage.

"CHRIS!" you exclaim and look at him while wiping the excess cream off your face.

"Sorry... but all the boys agreed your marriage material..." he shurgs before running back off to the boys group.

"Okay, who has had three girlfriends at the same time... oooooo you WHAT?" Millie reads out in shock before coming over to the other girls.

"Who do we think it is?" Millie asks.

"It's got to be Charlie?" Auriela exclaims.

"I agree!" Zavi laughs and Millie walks over kissing Charlie full force making you just laugh. It wasn't like you were threatened anyway. She then goes to put the cream in Aaron's face, he was clearly the most loyal in the villa right now.

"Okay, who owns a Mclaren...!" Aaron reads out and before he can even discuss it with the boys he's walking up to you and kissing you. Both of his hands were on either side of your face tilting it to the side to kiss deeper. It was a really really nice kiss despite you both being covered in cream from the last two rounds.

He grabs the plate of cream before lightly smacking it on Auriela's face.

"YOU OWN A MCLAREN?" Daniel shouts looking over at you and you nod.

"I work for them, in a way!" you grin and all the boys look impressed with this new found information.

The games continue, more getting unleashed as you have a kiss with Daniel and another one with Aaron.

It was a fun afternoon but the sun was starting to set and you guys were due to go back to the villa.

Lando and Oscar:

Oscar's eyes were glued to you, he was having the most perverted thoughts about you and honesty he hated it. He was now sat in Lando's hotel room with a blanket around him and a pillow covering his lower half.

"Mate, you are drooling!" Lando laughs looking over at his friend.

"No... I'm not!" he cries looking over at his friend.

"Yes, you so are! My god, I saw you leaning in when you watched them kiss!" Lando grins looking over at his friend who sits back awkwardly.

"Come on dude. It's fine to admit you have the hots for her!" Lando exclaims and Oscar blushes a beetroot red.

"Fuck off man!" he groans holding the pillow down a little tighter to his body.

"Dude come on, maybe you should go in there and claim your girl... she's getting close to Aaron!" Lando jokes, and misses the look in Oscar's eyes as he watches you and Aaron kiss again, and he cant help but want it to be him.

Back in the Villa:

All the girls had gotten ready and were looking super cute, they were currently sat round the firepit with a glass a wine talking about their day out.

"God, I already miss home. And the job!" you groan looking between all the girls and their heads snapped up in shock.

"WHAT?" they cry out looking up, you'd all only been here two days... how on earth were you missing home already.

"I just... it's nothing!" you giggle.

Just then someone's phone pings ... it's Zavi's.

"I got a TEXT!" she exclaims and you all look at her.

All the boys come rushing over to the firepit to hear what it is.

"Islanders, please get ready to welcome your two new islanders!"

...

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul l @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount @styl1shl1v

[unnoticed-poison]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚔! 𝙷𝚊𝚣𝚋𝚒𝚗 𝙷𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚕 𝚅𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚇 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 °【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟏 】°

【 𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖑𝖊𝖗 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟏 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟐 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟑 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟒 】 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙 1 【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟒 】 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙 2

Never thought I'd update this fast lol, guess my obsession is in full swing.

For those who haven't read the trailer chap you need to read it before this one.

The chaps are also posted on AO3, Wattpad and Quotev, the links will be posted soon ❣️

Anyways, enjoy.

˖๑‧˚꒷꒦₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖𓆇˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖

"Fuck!" The demoness cursed to herself, running as fast as she could through the streets, behind her, demons were being chased too, every 5 seconds or so, a bloodcurdling scream would erupt, signalling the death of another one of her fellow kind.

And it was almost her turn, she knew it was only a matter of time before that...𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 caught up to her as well.

She needed to find a place to hide, 𝘕𝘰𝘸.

"Move bitch!!"

The girl cried out in pain as she was shoved aside by another demon, sending her sprawling to the ground, the impact was hard and painful.

Before she could even try to stand up again, she was knocked over and trumpled upon by other demons, stepping over her body as they rushed by, breaking some of her bones in the process, and making her let out a heart-wrenching scream.

fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!

Fuck...

There was no hope for her to escape now...

"Please, make it quick..." She whispered softly, her breath caught in her throat when she felt a gentle breeze behind her, the sound of footsteps drawing close.

A quiet voice spoke, devoid of any emotions.

"Don't worry, I have no intention of torturing you, I need to reach my new high score anyway."

Oh..

As she took another deep breath, the demoness closed her eyes tightly, embracing the inevitable blow.

In a split second, thick crimson blood and pieces of brain splattered across the ground as the exterminator silently watched the now decapitated corpse go motionless.

"Number 1576." The angel said, removing the blood-spattered mask from her head.

Who was this particular angel? Of course, who else could it be other than 𝘺𝘰𝘶?

𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇

You sighed, glancing down at the blood stains on your mask before wiping it off.

Only 474 more to go.

You thought, your eyes scanning the road for your next target.

Suddenly, you noticed slight movement from one of the shadowy alleys nearby and you went into action, quickly putting your mask back on, your wings fluttered as you soared toward the alley.

"AHHHHH!!"

You stopped mid-flight, your hammer suspended in the air as you were frozen in your tracks by the sight before you.

Are those..eggs? Wearing suits??

There were five in total, the little eggs were shaking in fear, huddling together for dear life as they stared at up you with wide eyes filled with horror.

What were you going to do with them?

You stood there motionless for a few moments as the eggs lay defenceless before you.

........

Putting down your hammer, you stepped closer and kneeled down.

"Please don't kill us.."

The eggs closed their eyes as they waited for their swift death.

........

....

Huh?

Why aren't they smashed to pieces yet?

Opening their eyes, they saw one of them staring in wonder as the angel gently stroked its shell.

"You little things aren't my target, there's no need to worry." You whispered, your voice like a soothing lullaby, in an effort to calm them down.

Your touch was smooth and comforting, causing the egg's eyes to soften as he leaned into your hand with trust.

Seeing that, the other eggs shaking subsided as they allowed themselves to relax as well.

Feeling pleased, you smiled under the mask, before standing up again and looking around.

Shit, you wasted precious time.

You need to-

Huh?

Feeling a tap on your leg, you looked down.

One of the eggs was tapping on your leg repeatedly, gesturing towards the darkness.

"Boss! Boss!"

You couldn't help but tilt your head, what was this little one trying to say?

You soon understood when you heard a loud crash ahead of you.

"SHIT! Stupid machine!"

Oh.

𝘖𝘩.

Wonderful.

You thought as you headed over to the source of the noise.

You soon came across an entire airship, torn apart and hanging limply between two buildings, you then noticed a black snake cleaning the dust off his hat, looking completely unbothered, as if it was just another normal day.

Looks like an easy target, great!

The snake kept muttering to himself, not hearing you silently approaching until you were right behind him.

Feeling a tap on his shoulder, the man looked over his shoulder with a raised brow, it quickly turned into a terrified look as he jumped back, falling to the ground, his hat also falling off in the process.

"Wait! I-"

"I'll have to stop you right there, begging won't do you any good now." You smirked, raising the giant hammer above your head. "It's nothing personal really."

Fuck!

He can't die now! He hasn't beaten Alastor yet! He has so much to live for!!

Just as the hammer was about to make contact with his head, you paused yet again as you stared down.

???

"No!"

The little eggs from before stood in front of the snake protectively, they were visibly trembling, but their determination to protect the man did not waver.

"Why-"

"Don't kill him!"

.......huh.

You raised a brow, looking at the eggs standing guard then at the snake, who was glaring daggers at you, his gaze intense and sharp, but the slight fear was visible in his eyes as well.

........

A moment of silence had passed before you turned back to the man.

"Did you make those?"

Huh?

The man's expression shifted from fear and rage to outright confusion. "What?"

You gestured to the eggs with your hammer and asked again. "Were you the one who made those eggs?"

"Ah..yes? And..?"

You hummed as you leaned back.

"Make me one."

...What?

" Excuse me?"

"You heard me, make me one of those and I'll spare you and protect you from the rest of the exterminators, refuse and I'll get rid of you now and take those anyways." Your voice was unhurried and clear as you shrugged. " Your choice."

The threat could not have been more clear.

"I.."

"Make her one boss!"

"Are we gonna get a sibling?"

"You shut up!" He shouted at the eggs, his cheeks red from embarrassment.

He turned back to you and coughed. "Of course, I can make you one! Making one of those useless things is a piece of cake for someone as great as me!" He pointed up to the airship. " If you could take me up there that would be great."

You nodded. "Good." You said, picking up the serpent and carrying him bridal-style, the action causing his cheeks to turn red with embarrassment again, avoiding eye contact as you waited for the rest of the eggs to hold on to you before slowly flying up to the airship to not accidentally make one of the eggs fall off.

Once reaching there, you put the man down and stepped back. "Get to work."

"But-"

You waved the hammer lightly.

"Less talking and more working, now make me the damn egg before I change my mind."

𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇𓆇

As you sat atop a table, legs crossed, waiting for the man to finish making the egg, you played with the other eggs to pass the time.

"I need to think of a name for it.." you mumbled, one of the eggs heard you.

"How about Omelet!"

"No, Olaf!"

"Frank is better!"

"But MY name is Frank!"

You sat quietly, nodding along with everything they were saying, though not truly listening as you tuned them out completely.

Hmmm..

Hold on.

You hummed as you recalled something.

Don't snakes have two coc-

"I'm done!"

Ah.

"Took you long enough." You frowned as you got off the table and walked over.

The serpent rolled his eyes. " Half my tools were destroyed or misplaced during the crash your little 'friends' caused, here you go anyway."

He held out the egg for you to take, the suit and cute little hat were identical to the ones the others were wearing, you and the egg stared at each other silently, before it held out its arms towards you.

You put aside your weapon and carefully took hold of the egg.

"Hello little guy."

The egg smiled happily at you. " Hello! Are you my boss?"

The serpent nodded. " Yes yes, she's your boss so you have to listen to everything she says!" He glanced at you. "Sooo what do you think?"

You nodded, pleased with the results. " I love him, great job."

The serpent puffed out his chest in pride. " Of course! This was nothing! And for your information, I'm the great Sir-"

You ignored what he was saying as you turned back to the egg and began to think of a name.

'𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘐 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮.....𝘈𝘩 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘵!'

"I think I'll name you...Scramble."

"I like it!" He said, making you chuckle as you gently rubbed your cheek against his.

You might not have reached your high score for this year, but it was not a problem, you can always compensate for it.

Next year, you'll go for 𝘥𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘦.

˖๑‧˚꒷꒦₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖𓆇˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖

Hope you guys liked the chap ❣️

Those little eggs are so cute I couldn't resist!

Btw, my friend said 'Imagine if he gave birth to those eggs or something' I couldn't stop thinking about it and I couldn't resist so I made this :

Mc : make me one of those and I'll spare you

Sir Pentious: What happened to hello how are you? Take me on a date at the very least! How shameful!

Mc :*confused exterminator noise*...ok

And they spend the rest of the day going on a date while the world is in shambles behind them

Sometime later

Lute: Where the hell were you! You didn't come back in time!

Mc, with the egg in a basket: I became a mother.

Lute :....the 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 did you just say?

The egg: •⩊•♡︎

[gz-missfit]

God the more I rewatch Etoiles fight the more it hurts. Hell the more I watch any parent fight their egg it hurts, from Max bawling over Trump to Quackity being basically insta killed by Tilin and Roiers anger as fake Bobby didn't attack them while Jaiden was filled with conflicting delusional happiness.

But especially this Etoiles fight yesterday puts the whole dinner into a much bigger perspective and I'd like to think that that's the reason why they put Phil in the fight with Etoiles.

They wanted him to hesitate.

They wanted Phil to be the burden during that fight because those things carry the names of his children, the children he'd burn the world down for. But they underestimated how strict Phil is with his trust and decision making to the point that even in egg form he treated them like they were monsters instead of his children.

Phil's special because while yes during Etoiles fight the code got better at adapting to an egg its still the same concept. He still had definite proof that that wasn't her but he still hesitated.

And I wanna go into the why of that, Phil's a hard-core player through and through and you will not get that out of his playstyle, you can see it on every multi-player server he's been on in the past because thats just how he plays the game. And as a hard-core player he probably has the most interesting relationship to mortality and is someone who can understand the eggs on a whole different level. But this means he's also INCREDIBLY aware of how much weight decision making carries and how even a single decision could decide over him staying alive or dying, he's used to that, it doesn't bother him anymore. That's why Phil is also someone who's very confident in his decisions, when he says he won't do or go to something because he knows the outcome then he means that and not even curiosity will get the better of him if he sees any form of danger or risk. If he tells Tallulah or Chayanne an instruction he expects them to follow it to a T because he gives those for good reasons each time (and both of his kids know that his instructions are teachings more than they are just him telling them to do something). And this confidence in his own decisions is why he fought those codes so relentlessly at the dinner, I'm convinced even if he hadn't gone back to get a picture of his kids he still would've fought these codes the same way. He trusts his experience and he trusts that he'll be able to deal with the consequences of his own decisions no matter if the outcome is good or bad. There's a reason why other players usually come to him for advice or when he spends time with someone he naturally falls into a teaching role, it's because he knows so much because he's had to know it all to survive in a world where death is inevitable.

Now why does that differ him from Etoiles? Well Him and Etoiles are good fighter's in their own ways. There's no doubt about that. But Etoiles is more upfront, he's smart during pvp and incredibly knowledgeable about statistics and strategy but ironically enough he still struggles to trust in his own words and decisions. He's someone who's quickly plagued by regret or doubts, it's why he praises Bad and Phil so much. Because both of them are incredibly headstrong and confident in their decisions just due to sheer experience. Etoiles just isn't even if his experience is just as good. And you can see this hesitancy even during the dinner fight, he didn't want to fight the codes until they hit him first. And it was Phil screaming to kill those things that made him set on actually attacking. Even when he got singled out later on and had a fake Tallulah follow him, he didn't attack until Phil confirmed Tallulah was safe with him. Etoiles trusts Bads and Phil's words a lot and holds them both in high regards when it comes to their opinions and decisions because he knows how much sheer experience those 2 carry. But during that fight yesterday he was alone, each of his actions couldn't be reassured because he was fighting alone and the actual Pomme wasn't there. He was terrified of making a wrong decision, even with Pierre reassuring him that it wasn't Pomme Etoiles couldn't bring himself to trust his own decision, even with their secret code not working Etoiles couldn't trust himself, even with seeing it carry the codes swords he couldn't trust himself. Even after the fight was over, after he saw Pommes bed with her sleeping tightly in it. He couldn't trust himself. He didn't feel like a winner to himself because his mind went into a spiral about of his decision was right or not, his mind screamed at him because he was sure he had fucked up royally and that's what makes it so interesting. Because Etoiles is a good fighter! And I'm pretty sure with equal gear he'd beat the 2 he holds in high regards to fighting skill a good amount. But he doesn't hold his own decision making very high, he's happy to be as help as a weapon that when he has to make a call he hesitates. And it didn't help that he had his daughters face stare at him while he had to make that important decision because while Phil loves his children just as much as Etoiles does, Phil never had to earn to be trusted with them. Phil's always been someone people trusted with the eggs while Etoiles had to earn his time with Pomme in promising he'll never let her die on his watch and will be careful beyond believe while he's with her.

It shows in the confidence of their decisions, and it's fascinating how much more it shows during these high tension moments. Etoiles is someone who struggles so much with the knowledge of failure and its what made his fight hurt so much more, because he was convinced he'd fucked up bad even after he saw her bed.

Just some food for thought about our codebreakers

[sdv-ask-blog]

heya!!! if youre open to requests i'd love 2 request either a fic or headcanons (whichever u feel like!) of making shane breakfast in bed!

This is such a cute idea! He definitely deserves someone to do something nice like that for him. This is my first piece of proper writing, so I’m a little nervous, but I’m also a little proud of it. I think I’ll reblog this later with another really cute idea I had based on this prompt. Anyways, hope you enjoy! :)

The first time you bring Shane breakfast in bed, he’s shocked to the point where he actually questions if it’s for him

Obviously it’s for him, but he never would’ve expected someone to perform such a sweet gesture for him, even with the infinite kindness you’ve shown him since you arrived

He would be so grateful, but unsure of what he did to deserve something so special, and doubt whether he was worth all the effort you put into it

That insecurity is quickly set aside when you reassure him with kisses and cuddles, and practically force him to appreciate the meal (made with extra love, you insist)

“Knock, knock,” you call into the bedroom, a teasing lily in your voice as you nudge the door ajar with your hip as your hands are occupied with the tray in your hands.

Shane has only just woken up, evidenced by the way he’s hunched over and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He raises his head and blinks when he sees you, brows furrowing in confusion. “You made yourself breakfast in bed?”

You huff in amusement. “No, silly, I made you breakfast in bed.” Although his confusion is adorable, it does break your heart a little that he is so unused to love that even now, after showering him with gifts and loving words and touches for three months, he still struggles to accept that he would be worthy of a simple act of kindness.

His eyebrows raise, before scrunching again. “For me? Why? ‘s not my birthday, is it?”

You laugh as you walk over to the bed. “No, it’s just a normal day. I don’t know, I just… I thought it’d be a nice gesture. You deserve something nice.” Your tone leaves no room for arguments as you set the tray on the bedside table and practically force him back into bed, making sure the duvet is completely covering him.

“Doll, I—”

“Ah ah ah!”

“Chickad—”

“Nope!”

He sighs as he leans back against the headboard, a small but fond smile on his face as you place the tray (containing a stack of pancakes, three fried eggs, a few hash browns, and a cup of coffee) on his lap and sit down cross-legged in front of him.

He grabs his knife and fork and grabs a bit of everything on his fork. He brings it up halfway to his mouth, which is open in anticipation, before he sense you staring at him. He smirks as he closes his mouth and lowers the fork. “What? I got somethin’ on my face?”

“Just making sure you enjoy it,” you reply innocently. He huffs and shakes his head as he finally eats the first bite. He makes an appreciative noise as he nods his head in approval.

“‘s good,” he tells you, words muffled by the food in his mouth as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Really?” you ask hopefully. You’d made him breakfast before, obviously, but you’d tried to make this one extra special for him.

“Really,” he confirms with a grin, setting his tray on his bedside table as he leans forward and wraps his arms around you, pulling you down with him as you squealed in surprise.

“Your breakfast—”

“It can wait,” he tells you as he starts peppering kisses all over your face until your face is flushed red and you’re breathless from giggling so hard. He takes a quick sip of his coffee before wrapping you in his arms. “You’re the best, chickadee.”

You grin as you snuggle into his chest. “You too, love.” You give him a kiss on the lips, while also sneakily grabbing a hash brown from the plate. When you pull away, you quickly shove it in his mouth, laughing at his muffled sound of surprise. “Now eat before it goes cold.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he mumbles as he chews and swallows the hash brown. Maybe just this once, he could just enjoy something without his doubt creeping in. Maybe just this once, he could allow himself to bask in your affection, and feel like he deserved it.

After that, breakfast in bed becomes a common tradition in your household

You and Jas (and your kids, if you guys have any at some point) make him breakfast in bed every Father’s Day and birthday

I think that he’s actually a pretty good cook (when he has the motivation, and mostly simple recipes, but he does them really good) so he would definitely reciprocate the favour on the rare occasion he’s up before you

Just imagine being cuddled up with Shane in bed, a tray of breakfast resting on both your legs as Jas sits at the bottom of the bed, playing with her dolls or reading a book or talking your ears off about anything and everything

You resting your head on his shoulder, as he smiles and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you impossibly closer as he rubs his hand up and down your arm

Maybe at some point, there’s even a baby or two in the picture, squished in between the two of you or carefully tucked in the crook of his arm as he tries to eat one-handed

Ugh he suits the domestic lifestyle so much it’s not fair he deserves the world and more

[actualbird]

bored at work so here's a quick post of me rating luke cards where hes shirtless based on how feral it makes me

warning for slightly n/s//f///w language ahead and general down bad-isms from yours truly

---

SSR Burning Heart - 4/10

he looks okay and the puppy is adorable, but it just feels rather static and lacking impact. maybe it;s because the context of this card is that hes Literally Posing For A Picture and when luke tries too hard, the sexiness transforms into endearing nerdiness. like, i do not want to take this lukey to bed so much as giggle at him and go "ohhhh mister tough guy over here thinks he's hot shit" and then he'd sigh and flash his puppy eyes at me and i'd poke him in the tummy

---

MR Shining Warmth - 5/10

i know i went feral over this when it first came out but now that im looking at it in hindsight i just cannot accept that luke's waist and frame is that narrow, like….no. thats not the luke i know in my heart. the luke i know in my heart would be built like a double door fridge. still, i like how this card shows off his arms and that part of his waist where the muscle lines lead down to his c[TRUCK PASSES BY BLARING ITS HORN LOUDLY]

---

MR Moonlit Prisoner - 7/10

has the same "too slim build" problem as the last but it gains points because of the WOUNDSSS MMMM I LIKE MY MEN HALF NAKED AND INJURED, WROW. the chains add a lot too, along with his TONGUE, WHAT THAT TONGUE DOOOOOOOO. i wish they took of this dang sheet though, it's covering too much skin, i wanna see more of this wounded chained dog, SHOW ME MORE, AND TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF WHILE YOURE AT IT!!

---

MR Alluring Illusion - 8/10

LISTEN….I KNOW SOMETHING LOOKS OFF With THE ANATOMY OR WHATEVER BUT I RLLY LIKE THIS CARD BC 1) bird boy, this card was MADE for me and 2) he looks BUILT here, hes bUFF, look at his ARMS, this bird can PUMMEL YOU TO PIECES. i want to lay eggs for him

---

R Sweet as Honey - 10/10

yes, an R card wins. an R card that not even showing the shirtlessness as much but thats what makes it so GOOD, it's the TEASE, the tension between DESIRE AND REALITY. that, plus he looks like a FRESHLY BRED OMEGA AFTER HIS FIRST HEAT. rawr. RAWR!! i need him bouncing and moaning on it expeditiously.

[idle-compy]

okie dokie!! here's my live reaction if anyone's interested

ep 1:

ooh a recap jwcc didn't have these

theyre little setup looks cozy comfy ngl

the roar competition 😭

DAMN KENJI ANGST STARTINF EARLY

BROUGHT UP CAMP CRETACEOUS

"has me feeling like my old man... like an 'ex-Kon'" KENJI

"isn't a little soon to be making jokes about ur deceased father" "nah"

kenji and this dang lettuce

risking it all for some potato chips omg

gotta give it to kenji he IS sneaky

THE YASAMMY PHOTO ❤️

these guys just been chatting for over a week but some screams during a little storm got the attention of the crew?? they're shit at they're jobs ok

omg that scene where ben and Darius are serving face for no reason

ik we've been seeing pics of it BUT THE WET HAIR ANIMATION MWAH MWAH

not rhem becoming ship hands

THE EGGGSSS

and the start of kenjis death wish GAAHHH

so much blood omg

THE GALLILIMUS SCENE NOOOO

mama... a majungasaurus behind you

darius saving that captains ass... and be tries to throw them overboard..

now darius with the death wish Jesus christ

oh this scene is animated super cool

not that mf just sliding in the crate

rip eggs pt 2

RIP KENJI PT 2 GODDAMNIT

Australian man coming in with the sense

kenji open up PLEASE

AND THERE SHE ISSSS

ep 2:

bens so desperate to charge that thing

oh so that's why he's keeping the secret that makes sense

poor ben tho imagine seeing that

yaz wondering if ANY of her friends are ok atp

ZAYNAAA

I thought the jacket removal would be later in the season hmm

ben is such a terrible secret keeper omg

not them ab to move these ppls pets

"baby bumpy ur in charge"

KENJI KISSIMF THE EGG

wait those stegos protect the farm I feel this setting up smth

i love this little gallilimus sm

geba was it??

SHE LEDT THE CASE EXPOSED AND OPEN??

kenji messing with darius they're such brothers

this woman's known yasammy for just a couple minutes and alr protecting them

BEN CLINVING THE TREE LIKE HED DO ON NUBLAR

and still no signal

yknow at least yaz is honest

camp fam doing what camp fam does best

"get out of here you off brand alligator!"

KENNI WITH THE DEATH WISHH

rising the stegosaures YES QUEENS

"but they're not our enemy any more than any animal is" preach

goddd bens so conflicted

you can see the pain in his face omggg you can tell he doesn't want to lie

ep 3:

BROOKLYNNNNNNN

RONNIE DID SAVE HERRR

THE HANDLER IN HER MEMORY

"as luck would have it ur my second amputation this week" ronnie omg

oh she's cryinggg 💔

FLASHBACKKKKKM

THE PARASAUROLOPHES oh she's visiting kenji

damn just driving thru em ok girl

VIDEO CALL MY BELOVED CHIDREN

NOOO DANIEL

at least we van see what they talked ab

yeah brooklynn call his ass out

ooohhh she's playing him isn't she

the lead up to the break up omg

SHE WAS TEXFINF HIS FATHER WHEN THEY BROKE UP

THE CASHHH

MEMORIES WITH DARIUS NLW

"something I need you to see" hmmmmmm

oh darius has fallen hard at this point

"if he loved you half as much as I do" DARIUS OH NO

oh he doesn't know how to save this GAAHH

"unless" DARIUS PLEASEEEEEEEEE SHES FRESH FROM A BREAK UP

yknow what idk if I'd be able to face her ahain after that either Jesus christ that was painful to watxh

OH THE WOODS SCENEEE

THE PERSON SHE WAS TALKING TO WAS HACKEDDDDDDD THIS WAS A SET UP

I mean I think we knew ir was a set up BUT NOT LILE THAT

THE RAPTORSSSSSSSSS

THE HANDLERRRR

the allosaurus saved her then got blamed for her death ??? 😭

I feel like ronnie being the other person she was talking to was so obvious but I'm glad it was confirmed

ahhhh the fake death confirmation

"I might have smth to take the edge off" ronnie pulled out alcohol I know it

TIME SKIPPP

"5 second rule"

honestly love that they're showing the process of her adapting to her new limb difference

ok she just changed her hair FAST bc wdym her funeral

nvm they must've held the funeral off bc her arm is healed

"maybe can we go see my friends and family?" What happened to that

"hey fam what's up?! notice anything different? it's the hair!" she's so unserious

EWWW ITS ONE OF THR EVIL DPW MEN

Can't remember if it's Jared or Jensen

"if they start causing problems I'll take care of em" talkimf ab her friends

so they weren't originally being hunted?? was that one theory ab ben snooping causing them to be right???

and in that moment brooklynn decided to remain dead didn't she

ooohhh she left ronnie

ep 4:

ooh a dln mission

OH FACE REVEAL

earnests little jiggy jig

MALTA

"it always lands in-" WHEREEEEE RONNIE WHERE

OOHHB BEN WATCHUNG WHAT THE DLN IS DOING

must've cauhjt up to the current timeline

also they must change clothes constantly throughout the season bc he's already in the grey tee

him debating messaging brooklynn omg

OH SHOOT HE SENT IT

Also brooklynns username??? Ester stone callback

ben debating leaving his friends to find brooklynn???

IS DARIUS CREATINF ANOTHER FIELD GUIDE

oooohhh sammy in the family feels I NEED TO KNOW WHAG BAPPENEEDDD

THE TRACKER

SOMETHJNF HAPPENINF TO THE DLN

"take em out to the field and wait for my signal" earnest are u ab to kill ppl

YAZ RUNNING FOR FUNSIES

Theyre definitely feeling like they were back on nublar

WHO JUST KIDNAPPED GEBA

KENJI WHAT IS THIS SONG

I missed u silly kenji tho

OH SLMEONE KNOCKED HIM OUT AND STOLE THE EGGS NO

brooklynn stays messing with ppl

YEAAHH HER SAVINF RHE CLEANINF CREW WE LOVE MORALS

she was talking to literally random ppl in the hang on scene??? after all my analyzing??

random man handled that well

HE CALLED HER SYD

UGLY CRYINF TO MSKE HIM UNCOMFORTABLE

"what did you want me to do?! fight rhem all off???? I only have one arm!!"

it is just bad thing after bad thjnf goodness

zayna joining them omggg they're 6 ahain

ooh brooklynn tricking his ass yes queen

oooh dubai

ep 5:

"well she needs to learn that sometimes life is a cruel mistress" "she's 14"

ben bringing up he and kenjis gyropshere accident omg

BROOKLYNMS ONLINE

not ben wrecking rhe boat

BENS USERNAME

bumpy_2015 CAN HE BE MORE OBVIOUS

Anyway BROOK GETTINF HIS MESSAGE???

"damning files" 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 /jjjj

ITS DADDYS GADDY

OOOHHH SHES PRETYY

is it the broker tho

I did not watxh dominion but she looks kinda like soyona santos

OOOHH BROOKLYNN FOHND A WAY IN

kenji and ben already beefing good lord

he is SUCH a terrible liar

WHYD KENJI END THE BRACHI SOUNDS LIKE THE KLIMPALOON

OOOH SOMETHJNF UNDER WATER

And now the brachis are spooked

IT IS SOYONA

RAPTOR

wow kenji risking hjs life again JESUS CHRIST MAN

all of their genuine looks of concern

that's a sick painting tho

"so much more precise than a whistle" soyona and handler beef

SOYONA KNOWS WHO SHE IS

OH SHE GOT OUT OF THERE

ig why they shared all those clips now bc tbjs is NOT playing out like I thought it would

to be so anti phone ben sure is attached to that phone

Sammy assuming bens gotta take a shit bc he ran off 😭

BROOKLYNN VIDEO CHATTINF HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMAMMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMM

BROOKLUNN TELLINF HIM TO KEEP HER A SECRET LIKE HE ISNT CONFLICTED ENOUFHHHH

SHE DELWTWD HER ACXOUNT GAAAHAHHHHH

ep 6:

IS BEN HAVJNF A PANIC ATTACK

THEYRE STARTING RHE EP LIKE THIS???

oh ok it was a mini panic

now yaz has TWO boys to be worried about

"I think I need to tell you somethjng...?" He doesn't know what to do :((((

THE UDNERWATER CREATIRE

DO THEY NOT KNOW HOW DANGEROUS HIPPOS ARE

mangoes are the cure to all

KENJI REACHING HIS ARN INTO THE HIPPOS MOITH???

Not it eating the phone

OHHHB BROOKS CUTTINF EVERYONE OFF SHE BLOCKED RONNIE

they've talked ab pooping twice now omg

yaz throwing kenjis problems onto darius omfg

sammy has grown so attached to zayna

SAMMYS A VEGETARIAN

IS THAT A CORPSEEEEEEE

oh ben is in an absolute panic omg

OOOH YAZ KNOWS HES KEEPIMG SECRETS

"all my proof is gone! dissolving in the stomach of a weirdly aggressive beast!"

why is everyone just throwing stuff on yaz rn 😭

PTEROSAUR

OH SKMETHJNF FUCKINF ATE THE PTEROASUAR IMMEDIATELY

SUCHOMIMUS

OH HO HOBHOOOO BROOKLYNN HAS THE DINO LASER

KENJI WITH THE DEATH WISH

YAZ GETTING CHASED BY A HIPPO??? IS THAT JOW SHE ENDED UP ALOME

OH DARIUS AND KENJI DONT KNOW YAZ DIDNT GET ON THE OTHER BOAT

KENJI GOT INJUREDDD

OH YAZ GOT KNOCKED OUT

BROOKLYNN AND HER MANUPULATING

OH IS BROOKLYNN GONNA END UP IN AFRICA

KENJIS SHOULDER IS JUST CADUALLY DISLOCATED??

HE JUST POPPED IT BAXN INTO PLACE LIKE IT WAS NOTHINF?????

NOOO HE WAS AB TO OPEN UP

THEY LEFT YAZZZZZ

she passed out in such a slay position tho omg

ep 7:

ooohh this has gotta be the yaz ep all the reviews were talkimf ab

THEY AINR TURN AROUMD FOR HER YET???

oh well the suchonmimus won thag battle

YAZ GIRL RUN WHIKE HES SLEEPINT

maybe it's just me but the flashlight is not thag important

THE ANIMATIONNNNNN WE CAN SEE HER TREMBLING

"well look who it is, the kenjinator" "my main man benny" why are they so awkward

"heyyyyy how are u doing... champ?" "champ? what is this what are u doing" the dialogue is so funny

thus soeech??? darius u used to be so good at this

"ahhh!! my socks are soaked"

YAZ DID ALL THAT FOW THE FLASHLUGHT AND ITS DEAD?????

oh there it goes

AND THERES DIMORPJOFONS???

AND THE FLASHLIGHT FELL RIGHT TOWARDS TBE SUCHOMIMUS SOMEONR FIVE THIS GIRL A BREAK

KENJIS OPENIMG UP BUT AT WHAG COST

HE BLAMIMG HIMSELF FOR YAZZZ

"I don't know how much more I can take" KENJKIIIIIIII :((((

KENJI BEN HEART TO HEART I've waited years for this

"WHO YA TRYNA HIT SAM???" "LEAVE A REVIEW LATER"

LIONS

YAZ HE SEES U

OH FUCK HES GOT HER

YAZ GOOOO

ok the sucho left her alone

NOW SHE HAS TO DEAL WITH LIPNS????

WAIT WHAT JUST KILLED THE LION

MANUNGUSAURUS

"MOVE YOUR BUTTS"

SHIT ANOTHER STANDIFF

SUCHO JUST CADUALLY GOT KILLED ON SCREEN LIKE THAT??

this scene is so menacing

kenji in between the gfs 😭

YASAMMY HUG

BROOKLYNM TEYINF TO CALL BEN AND THE PJONES GONE

ep 8:

kenji being protective over yaz 😭

OH IS THIS THE EP KENJI FINDS OUT

"you are not leaving me behjnd!" zaynas so real

also love the continuation that other ppl can here secret talks

OH POOR LEASHED DINOS

kenni finally realizing what he's doing to himself 😭

KENJINA HUGGGG

bro activities is laying on the ground together

damn those chains were pathetic

why are they all going into suspiciously dark areas

IS THIS A DINO FREEZER??

OH NO ITS A GENETUCS LAB

oh zayna clocked him

OH THE SHIP CAPTAIN

OH CAPTAIN LANG JUST GKT JILLED OK

THIS SVENE IS SO WELL DONE?? SO OMINOUS

OH SOMETHINS DOWN THERE WITH THEMMMM

they'd make terrible cheerleaders

OH THAG POOR BABY HAS NO EYES

THIS PLACE IS CRUELLLL

THERES RHE PROMO IMAGE

GEBA BABY UR OK

DARIUS RUN

DARIUS IS STILL DOWN THERE JFC

OH HES HOLDIMG OMTO THE OUTSIFE

"I knew u didn't hate me!"

SHIT DARIUSSSSSSS

BENS IN AN INTERROGATION ROOM KENJI CAN SEE HIM THIS IS HOW HE FINDS OHT ISNT IT

IM SORRY HE SEES BROOKLYNN WALK IN ON BEN??!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

BROOKLYNMS HERE?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?@??@?@

ohhhh this looks way wrong to kenji doesn't it

"She's alive? You knew?"

the interrogation set up eas an insane way to do thaf I loved it

ep 9:

I've been so drawn in on this ep I just realized I haven't been reviewing

anyway

BROOKLYNM SAVED THEM IN THE PIT THING

WILL WE GET TO FIND OT WHAT HAPPENED TO DARIUS

YEAH HE MADE IT

DAMN RHE OTHERS SAW HER TOOOO?!??!?!?!?!??

THIS MAN INTENTIONALLY CREATED THE EYELESS BARYONIX???? EVILLLLL

HE FED HER LIVE HUMANNNSSS?!?!??!?!??!??!?!?!

oh rip evil scientist man

OH WE HET TO HEAR BEN AND BROOKS WHOLE ARGUKMENT

"stop looking at me like that" :(((

ep 10:

FINALLEEEEE

fuck mu headphones are dying

BEN AND KENJI ANGST

OH SHIT KENJI BROKE THE GLASS WHAT IF HE HIT BENS FACE

OOHH KENJIS HURT

"after that we'll" "do something stupid? prpbably?" "probably"

EVIL SCIENTIST MAN LIVED???

omg are the acrociraptor and the baryonix communicating

YAY SCIENTIST MAN IS DEAD

oh kenjis trust is broken

BROOKLYNN HAVJNF TO HEAR HER FRIENDS SCREAM THIS IS CDUELL

WHEN WILL THRY REUINITEEE AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

ZAYNAS DAD TO THE RESCUE

SHES GOJNA BLOW IT UP AND KENJI AND VEN ARE SFILL IN THEREEEE

oh ok they drove their asses outta there

"nuh uh u don't get to talk" oh kenjis bitter

CONFRONTATIONNNNNNNNNNNN

ooohhh what's brooklynn gonna do

SHES LEABIFN THEM AND TAKIMG THE EGGGS???

SHE GAVE THEN BHNPYS EGG AND LEDT????????

THATS IT?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!???!??!?!?!??!

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Hey I read your Becky/Ambriel foc recently and was wondering how you go about writing the voices of characters who aren't in shows a lot. I feel Becky does have a distinct voice (which you nailed) but for Ambriel (and other characters you have written) did you just watch over her scenes or do you just go for it?

Like there's fandoms I've been in for 2 years and I wouldn't feel able to wrote the main characters' voices right.

Like ultimately when it comes to femslash (and all fic but especially femslash) it's better to write it bad than not at all but I would still appreciate knowing how you go about if that's okay to ask

I love talking about the writing process!! This got long and it's a big scattered mess of thoughts <3 it's hard to pin down a process because all of these thoughts and the actual writing of the piece happen concurrently so, chicken, egg, you know.

First of all, worrying about voice should really be an editing job, not a "writing the first draft" concern, in my opinion. Dean can sound like "good lord, why, is that my old chum Castiel? I do believe it is! Come, come, old chap, let us break burgers together and I shall tell thee of my frankly untenable week" and Cas can reply "bet" and you can put in square brackets [FIX THIS] and keep on trucking. I know this is hard to do. I too will pause on tricky sentences. Square brackets are my best friend. [Add Dean-ism] [insert joke] [reference that means "uh oh!]. But! To actually answer!

A particular character's voice is (unforch) something you can only fully develop through writing more of them and figuring out who they are to you. I used to be very stilted trying to figure out Cas’s voice, and then I wrote a lot of him and read a lot of other people's thoughts about him and thought about his actions in canon and now he's the easiest person for me to write!

What's more important than the surface level character-isms, is that they have depth and are consistent. Does the content of what they're saying make sense with the life they've led. Like, I don't think that my take on Meg really sounds all that much like canon Meg for example. But she is consistent within the fics I put her in, and shares enough snark with canon Meg that it works, AND she has motivations, reactions and ideas that are different to the other characters in the fic. It's like a cheat code, if two characters have different reactions to one event, that makes it come off like they have different voices.

Some other cheat codes: have one of them make a ton of references, and the other speak plainly (dean and sam core! but you can do that for most duos); have them make references to different things (tv vs classic literature, sci-fi vs fantasy); have one of them tell sillyjokes and the other tell dry jokes (destiel core...). Contrasts makes characters seem more separate.

For voice, I'll only rewatch if I don't remember how they said anything at all or if I remember they had a particularly distinctive way of speaking. If I needed to put Gabriel in a scene, I'd probably watch his episodes again. I've found if I do watch an episode to remind myself it can psyche me out of actually writing anything for them—Ava for example, I'm intimidating myself out of writing her at the moment lol.

For establishing a (deeper) character, you first need the basics:

Ambriel, helpfully, fits some basic tropes. Office worker. Apathetic. Angel in the vein of Castiel, Hannah and Anna (which is to say, autistic). I have a LOT of practice writing Castiel, and Ambriel is like Castiel didn't have his drive to help people or love of humanity. She is therefore: straightforward (angel), mildly bored (office worker) and her biggest want is for nothing to change for her (apathetic).

It's then how you build on the collection of tropes that makes them a Character. You figure out how to explain some of the above traits/situations they're in. What is her history? (She went to earth and didn't like it) Who is around her? (Kaisiel, whom she resists making a real connection with due to her apathy) Why is she apathetic? (It's repressed fear of punishment).

Something that really, really helps with unique characterisation for me is a little silly. Give them a niche interest. Something not mentioned in the source material at all, or is only briefly mentioned. Castiel is into the same sitcoms as me (and taxidermy). Ambriel is into data storage. Ava is into collecting small furniture.

And then go, why are they into this?

Castiel bc he loves to experience hunanity at a safe distance (and he likes to rummage).

Ambriel because it's within the scope of her job so is 'safe', which she takes pride in (and which I advanced from "pushing a button" because I thought that was stupid and bad world building 💙).

Ava wants to feel a sense of control in a world that is very much out of her control.

This not only gives you better insight into them as a character, it also makes them YOURS. that's not the cw's Ambriel, that's mine, she's into data storage, so it doesn't matter if she's off-model because no one will know, because she's mine.

As with Castiel's love of tv, you can also do this with canon interests, just hone in on specifically what it is and specifically why they like it. Dean doesn't like "music" he likes rock because it makes him feel powerful and affirms his masculinity and has a connection to his family being together. Charlie doesn't like "fantasy" she likes Lord Of The Rings and The Wizard of Oz because she values escapism and rooting for the little guy (these are also interests of Sam's!).

Plus - making it more niche and specific makes it SEEM like they have this rich inner life and history even if you don't bother to figure out why.

1) "Geraldine sighed and took the dog for a walk" vs

2) "Geraldine sighed, saved her game and took the dog for a walk" vs

3) "Geraldine sighed, saved her game of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon X, and took the dog for a walk."

Now!! Actually! 2 and 3 are where "voice" can come in. Is the POV character someone who doesn't care or know much about video games? Then 2 is the one for them. Does the POV character care a lot about being accurate, know Geraldine well enough to know what she's playing, and/or are knowledgeable about video games? Option 3! Or, bonus option 4, perhaps they're disdainful of video games/annoyed with Geraldine: "Geraldine sighed, saved her little game with the pretend animals, and finally took our very real and very whiny dog for a walk".

So!! We have a character. How do we make her distinct from the other characters in the fic? Build them concurrently!

Ambriel is apathetic about community THEREFORE Becky is desperate for it (and can't hold onto it). Becky is over-verbose, so Ambriel keeps it short (and is misunderstood as a result). Ambriel believes deep down that she doesn't matter, so Becky deep down believes that she (both herself and Ambriel) is special and important and deserves worship.

So. I think you were expecting this but. think about their motivations and then just start writing them and it'll work out.

okay I gotta go make dinner. does this help???? MWAH

[super-unpredictable98]

The Eighth Child (~TUA AU~) - Season 4

Chapter 2: The Prodigal Daughter Returns

Warning: Strong language, mention of death and mental illness, talk of addiction.

(The Eighth Child Masterlist)

A few days passed and they all forgot about Jennifer and the dry cleaner. Viktor decided to stay a few days to make up to Grace for missing her birthday, and Klaus was trying to be more romantic than usual.

"Was that good?" He asked, lying next to His wife.

"Yeah... yeah of course," Victoria nodded.

"You don't have to lie."

"It was okay. You're too soft."

"I can't be rough, you're pregnant!"

She turned her back to him and looked at the jar of marigold on her nightstand.

"I'm sorry," he said with eyes full of tears. "I don't know what to do anymore to save us. I don't know how to be different from what I am now."

"I know," she murmured. "You know how Dad took our powers and all? Because we kept ending the world, but that was because some of our powers were destructive. Allison can start and end wars and she's not mentally stable, Ben can commit a massacre without breaking a sweat, Five can mess with the timeline... but we're not destructive. You just become immortal and see a few ghosts. Alright you can conjure them and stuff, but you won't need to."

"Are you suggesting I drink this shit?"

"That would make you feel safer and nobody would have to know... then you could go back to being the man I love."

"What do you mean? You don't love me anymore?"

"How can I love someone who carries a gas mask to go places?" She snapped. "Who won't eat a runny egg yolk! Who needs to bathe in alcohol before getting in bed? Who won't buy used books because someone might have left fluids on them that could give you a disease? I can't stand your restrictions anymore and you're making our daughter into a fucking wimp like you! You're boring and your new haircut sucks! You getting sober was the worst thing that ever happened to me!"

A silence took over the room and he started crying, scared to wake up their daughter with all the screaming.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," Victoria quickly tried to take it back, but words are like bullets. They can't be unshot.

"Three years... you wanna throw three years down the drain because that's what you want, right?" Klaus sobbed. "You love our little parasitic relationship, the eternal screwup and his holy savior! I'm your charity case, I've always been and you feel so superior because you can smoke a joint once in a while, have a few drinks and you're fine! You can go back to being normal Victoria, but I have a disease! Once I start, I can't stop!"

"I know... I didn't mean to-"

"Every time I'd relapse back in the day, you got a glint in your eye! Oh, I get to save him again!"

"That's not true! You know damn well how hard I tried to keep you sober! I said it without thinking!"

"No, don't take it back. Dysfunction is what we do best in this family so how could we ever raise our children in a happy home? You need to traumatize them like Dad did you us! Because you think it made you tough, it made you interesting, it built character. Newsflash, sweetheart! You're just broken and full of Daddy issues!"

"How can you say that?" She started crying as well. They had not fought this badly since she left him to work in California.

"You're selfish and a big baby! You leave me when things get too hard or too boring, you did it when we were 25 and you're doing it now! I'm so done living cowering in your little bubble of superiority!"

"I took care of you your whole life! I made sure you didn't get in trouble, I made sure you were fed and healthy and safe! I was your shield for 30-something years! You know I'd take a bullet for you even now that I'm no longer indestructible! You think it was easy? You think I like picking your sorry ass off the floor when you hit rock bottom?"

"Bottom? Moi? There's no bottom here, missy, no bottom at all. I'm the goddamn Mariana Trench! Just wait till you see!"

"You're threatening me now? Give me a fucking break, I wanted to help you, you coward! So scared of a little itty bitty ghosts that you need to pop every pill on the planet. Your power is a gift!"

"You wouldn't survive a day with my power! So easy for you... I don't feel pain, nothing hurts me!"

"I'd thrive with your power, you're just too weak and cowardly to deal with it how it's supposed to be!"

"Thank you... you know truly thank you. Finally a grain of honesty. Feels refreshing! You wanted the old Klaus? You got him!" He reached for the jar of marigold but she took it from him.

"I'll put this away, nothing good is gonna come from taking this shit..." Victoria got up and grabbed a box from the top shelf to leave the jar in, but she found something that caught her eye. A card.

"Give it to me! You want me to so bad to be your pet junkie again!"

"No! I'll give it back to whoever gave it to us!"

"You'll return it to the man in the dry cleaner?"

"No, someone else... look after Fortune, I'll be back."

**

Victoria headed to the Hargreeves mansion, she had not been there in years. Not ever since she tried to get the location of their birth mothers, but Reginald knew nothing of it.

The guards were more than eager to let her in, they treated her like she was actually part of the family.

When she walked into the mansion, she heard the sweet sound of a violin being played by a beautiful lady who looked almost angelic.

"Abigail."

"Hello, Victoria," she smiled, putting down the violin. "Long time no see! What brings you here today? I see you're glowing, when can we expect the second little one?"

"You forgot your jar of marigold," Vicky leaned against the wall in front of her.

"I'm sorry? I think you're mistaken."

"No, I'm not, step-mama. You know, I can't read minds anymore, but I'm not stupid. That whole Sy Grossman story was mighty suspicious. So I turned to the note you gave us to send the location of Viktor. Where had I seen that handwriting before? Oh yeah! The card you sent to us the day my daughter was born. I had to check it to make sure, and there it was... your handwriting. Now would you tell me why you gave us a jar of this stuff?"

"I synthesized marigold back in my world, but when I created this new element, another one was accidentally produced as a byproduct... Durango."

"Durango."

"Yes, and it's inside of Jennifer."

"Jennifer... as in Jennifer who got my brother killed?"

"I do not know about that... but when marigold and durango interact, there's a dangerous physical reaction."

"Makes sense. He touched Jennifer and started getting this weird rash, then his tentacles were out of control, and he ended up killing himself and the girl... but wait, you gave us Marigold and sent us to look for durango? Do you wanna fucking kill us?" Victoria grabbed Abigail by the collar.

"What is the meaning of this?" Reginald came into the room with a scowl. "Unhand my wife right now!"

"Your wife tried to end the world! I have a child and I'm expecting another! I have a nephew and nieces, how could you do this?"

"I never asked to be brought back!" Abigail finally said. "Reginald brought me back to life and I didn't ask for it! He unleashed this danger into your world after it destroyed ours, I just wanted to cleanse it."

"Very well, it's cleansed," Victoria opened the jar and tossed it in the fireplace. "Now don't you ever come near me or my family, with or without powers, I will end your sorry ass with my bare hands."

"There's no need for this sort of-" Reginald placed himself between them.

"Don't you miss being so strong?" Abigail held up a vial of marigold. "Nothing could hurt you, you knew what everyone was thinking and even controlled it, you controlled what they felt... wasn't it great?"

"I'm great without my powers, I'm a mother and a wife, a business owner... that's all I wanna be," Victoria sneered.

"What about your husband? Don't you miss him? Don't you miss the devil-may-care Klaus? Who jumped in front of cars and spent all night partying? The man you fell in love with is gone."

"Shut up..."

"This is the very last of the marigold in the world. Enough for two people... maybe three, if you want to make your daughter special as well. Protect her from the world."

Victoria sniffled and grabbed the vial, she looked at it and for a moment all the memories from her youth came rushing back.

She remembered crazy nights with Klaus, dance lessons, their mother's shoes, their college days, his face while getting his palms tattooed, the amazing girls she met in Vietnam, her life in the 60s, the cult, his proposal, their wedding, falling out of her window when he tickled her... and it was the concrete that shattered.

"It was the concrete that shattered," Victoria mumbled, opening the vial.

"All you have to do is to look for Jennifer," Abigail murmured.

"Will it hurt us?"

"You won't feel a thing. You and your family will be protected. You won't face the same ending as your brother."

"There's another thing I'm good at besides recognizing handwritings..." Vicky swallowed. "Recognizing liars."

She tossed the glowing liquid into the fire once again and turned her back to leave.

"Victoria!" Abigail called.

"Enjoy the rest of your life in our world and don't you dare create more of this shit. I'll come kill you myself."

**

Meanwhile, back at home, Klaus was pacing around the room. He kept replaying and replaying all the moments from the fight in his mind and it hurt more and more each time he remembered.

That familiar need started taking over and he knew he was about to relapse. He took the phone and called Claire, asking her to come over and pick up Fortune because he had to take care of an emergency.

After that, he started going through the house grabbing everything valuable he could get his hands on. First his own wedding ring, Vicky's collectible Disney music boxes, her jewelry, the Rolex she got him for their anniversary, and finally their daughter's piggy bank.

He smashed Fortune's porcelain pig on the floor and grabbed all the money inside before pulling their flat screen off the wall in the living room.

"Daddy?" Fortune stood behind him. "Why did you break the piggy bank? I'm saving for a Barbie Dream House!"

"Tunnie baby!" He tried to smile. "You're here! Claire is coming to pick you up so you can play at Aunt Alli's house."

"What are you doing, Dada?" She frowned, noticing something was clearly weird.

"You know this TV has been on the fritz for a while. Haven't you noticed, baby girl? I just thought I'd take her down to the old geek lab, let them work their magic."

"It's not broken, Dada. You're weird, I'm scared... where's Mommy?"

Fortune tried to come closer, but Klaus held his hand up.

"No no no! Your feet, sweetheart, you'll hurt your feet with the shards. Watch your feet, sweetheart!" He cried, covering his mouth in panic. "The piggy was an accident, Tunnie, I'll pay you back."

"I don't care about the money, Dada, I want you to be okay," the little girl looked down, tears running down her face. "I know something's wrong, please tell me so we can talk and make it better."

"I'll talk to you, Tunnie, I will. But Daddy has had a horrible day and he just can't... just can't have this conversation right now. I'm sorry."

"Claire said you were sick. That you needed help to stay healthy, are you not feeling well again? I can help you! I'll call 911, please stay with me!"

"It's too late, baby, I'm sorry. You stay put and wait for your cousin, okay? You need to stay on the couch waiting for her and when mommy comes back, she'll pick you up."

"No, Daddy! Don't go! You're sick, you need a doctor!" Fortune tried to stop him from going to the door.

"No, Tunnie, Daddy's gonna leave now just for a little bit."

"Please stay! It's dark and I'm scared!"

"I gotta go-"

"But Daddy...!"

"WILL YOU PLEASE JUST FUCKING MOVE?" He yelled. "NOW DO WHAT YOUR FATHER SAYS AND DON'T TALK BACK, FORTUNE BENNIE HARGREEVES!"

The little girl was stunned into silence and her little pout quickly turned into panic as she started crying harder. She watched her father leave and sat on the floor sobbing quietly.

Not once had he ever raised his voice at his daughter, she was an easy girl and never got in trouble. She never needed to be punished or grounded, he always considered himself lucky... but now Klaus feared he was turning into what he hated most: his father.

*

"Hello," Victoria picked up the phone as she drove back home.

"Vicky, we need to get together right now," Five said. "Bring Klaus."

"I don't know where he is, he left Fortune at Allison's and disappeared with our TV and my jewelry. I'm looking for him right now."

"Shit... we need you! I think we have some more insight on the whole Jennifer situation."

"So do I, wait until I tell you who planted the marigold in that box and sent us after durango."

"What? What are you talking about? Ben is here! We're all at the old Academy."

"I know, he's an asshole. Big news..."

"No, not Sparrow Ben, our Ben."

"What?" She nearly crashed the car when she made a turn to head to the Academy. "How?"

"He found this sort of subway where the train takes you to different timelines, there's a crack in time and space which made several portals around the world to this station. The timelines are bleeding into each other."

"Please don't say another apocalypse is coming, I can't cope," she huffed.

"No, I mean, not if we find out how this is all connected. It's supposed to be one timeline, The Keepers, that group Sy mentioned... Lila and I have been infiltrated there for months and they know we're in the wrong timeline."

"Well fuck, that means the cleanse is a little more drastic than I thought."

"How do you know about the cleanse?"

"Abigail told me, it's a whole chemical thing with Jennifer. I'll explain better once I'm there."

"Jennifer? Oh, that makes sense why Dad is trying to keep her away from society."

"He is?"

"Jean and Gene, the leaders of that group I told you about were just murdered along with a bunch of their followers when they tried to kidnap Jennifer from the make-believe town where she lives. Everyone in the town is a Hargreeves soldier."

"Alright, I'm so confused. The Klaus hunt will have to wait, I'll be there in five... Five."

Tag List: @jozstankovich @firstpersonnarrator @salvador-daley

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

Panty Dropper

@callm3senpaii was so kind tagging me in this and I know I should have been asleep but I couldn't stop thinking about stuff to write. Will I be tired today? I probably already am. Will it be worth dragging my ass around? Most definitely.

Things they do that have me throwing my panties on the floor and my ankles in the air:

TOJI :

~ The bulge in his pants and the scar on his lips.

~ When he stands, sits, when he's hard. Especially if he wants to hug me or pull me down onto his lap. And if he looks at me and licks the scar, I'm immediately flooding my pants. I don't know what it is about scars, whether they're on chests, arms, faces, backs (omfg backssss). They're just so fucking sexy to me. I want to lick them all.

~ He'll press that mass right into me. Knowing damn well what he's doing. Same with the scar, he knows wtf is up. If he wants my attention but doesn't want to have to say that he wants it, he'll just stare at me and lick the corner of his mouth until I'm dropping down on his face.

~ It gets worse the longer we're out of the house. Having to show self-restraint and not drop to my knees and rip his low-hanging pants from his godlike hips is not #1 on my to-do list.

~ HE IS, though.

REINER :

~ Jesus Christ. The way he would hold me all the time. How he can flip-flop between being gentle one minute to shoving my back up against any hard surface that was easily accessible, rolling and grinding his hips into me.

~ How needy he can be sometimes is so hot. Like, he can't fucking live another second without burying his face in my cunt or stuffing me full of his cock. Or tongue. Let's be real, the man loves to eat.

~ He's also emotional AND emotionally stupid. He tries to express himself and sometimes he just gets so pissed off that he doesn't have the words that he'll shut down. And I wouldn't be able to sit by and watch him beat himself up about some shit that happened 10 years ago. I'd have to climb up on his lap and start rubbing my ass all over him to get his focus to shift.

~ Watching him hold a baby would make every single good egg I had left drop down, ready to create life with him. He's so fucking big and seeing him hold something so small and fragile would make me insane with lust. (As if I'm not always DTF this guy). I'd whisper in his ear to give the baby back to her (yes, it would be a baby girl, all pinked out) parents because I need him upstairs shooting his hot load into me and telling me how much he wants to fuck a baby into me and watch my body change while nurturing life (WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM. LITERALLY WHAT. TF.)

~ His sweet gestures would kill me so softly. He would bring me a wild flower that he saw somewhere while he was out. Or he'd bring me a little succulent clipping that he snagged while he was at Home Depot getting stuff to make the rack to hold our sex swing that was going to be delivered in 2 days. 1 if the mail runs a little faster than anticipated.

~ I don't know how else to articulate this other than to tell you that we'd dance like they do in Dirty Dancing (the OG movie. Not the remake shit). You know how Baby and Johnny danced with each other when they'd basically straddle each others thighs and just grind while his hands were on her ass and she was clinging to him to keep herself from falling over backwards, even though there was no way in hell that he'd ever let go of her. And how he'd turn me around and have my back to his chest while we're just like, making our hips go in circles while we're in the living room listening to songs like "Cry To Me." Fucking shoot me now, please. I can't stand another minute without this guy.

Sanemi :

~ This motherfucker. His lack of personal space with me would be irritating at first. Like, he would always come to bed with me at the same time. Sleep smooshed up next to me, even during summer months when it's too hot to lay like that unless you have 3 box fans pointing at you (and I DO) just to take the edge off of the humidity swarming around you. But eventually, when he'd stay up to do something, video games or working out, whatever, and I go to bed alone, I definitely would just lay there and miss him. So I'd call for him and he'd come peek his head in the room and ask me what I need.

~ I'd admit that I need him because I'm so goddamn used to feeling his body next to me that I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not all tangled up in him. I just toss and turn not feeling grounded in my own bed.

~ So he'll turn off all the lights because he's a responsible electricity user and do his bedtime routine then finally come in and lay with me.

~ But he's not really tired. And he will turn over to face me and starts rubbing my thigh with his left hand, sloooowwwlllyy going higher until he's got his fingers dancing over the waistband of my --- wait, I won't be wearing panties. Scratch that. He'd play with the hem of my t-shirt and inch his way between my thighs until my knees are opening up for him.

~ "You still not tired?" is all he'd have to say to me in his deep, husky nighttime voice and I'd pull him over on top of me because I can't resist his voice, even in the daytime. But there's just something about his voice at night that does me in. It's heavy with the days weight and he wants to let go of everything. And I would help him with all that shiz.

LEVI

~ There are several things that he would do that'd lead to my clothes spontaneously disappearing.

~ If I walked in on him cleaning ANYTHING my pants would combust on the spot. There is something about a man who takes tidiness seriously. And no one takes it more seriously that Levi.

~I would try to get him to wear nothing but an apron to clean stuff up in, but he'd just call me a dumbass and continue his dusting.

~ When he is getting annoyed with me and his voice gets all disciplinary and starts yelling at me a little bit to "Knock my shit off", it's only going to egg me on more.

~ I would love to push his buttons until he was beating my ass over the kitchen table, counter, dishwasher, shower, closet, cat food dish. Idfc.

~ Also when he would drive us somewhere, he'd have his hand on my thigh and subconsciously rub and squeeze it whenever he'd get pissed off at the other idiots on the road.

~ It would be the way that he'd kiss me goodbye in the morning and then he would pull away only to lean in for a deeper kiss as his hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me into him.

~ The way the heat from his cock would warm me wherever it pressed into me as he was trying to leave for work that day. "I'm working from home today, yes. Yes, thank you. I'll be in tomorrow," he looks at me, "Possibly."

[fountainpenguin]

"And there's a magic act that saws Regina in half, and this time it will take! Now, that's a party!" (x)

---

New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 18 - “Snap (Truce Night)”

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

---

Truce Night signals the whole Dog's Life server to settle down for sleep, unless you're Joel and Ren with a plan to lure in phantoms on a stormy night... or maybe Impulse, who's been on the hunt for Bdubs since Session 2 began. Don't worry about him! He's not on red, so he can't kill the guy.

After all, that would be against the rules...

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

---

Etho-Scar Alliance

Unaffiliated

GoodTimesWithScar - Pillager

🖤  💜  🖤

It really is a big cave. Cleo, Tango, Pearl, and Jimmy probably don't even know anyone's lurking around down here in the second tunnel layer. Or is it third or fourth? They're pretty deep underground. Scar drags his fingertips along the damp wall, tracing stringy moss against his nails. It flutters. He can feel this world breathing like a coiled dragon underneath the surface.

Amethyst nearby. I can feel it pulsing…

And there, around the next corner, is the friend he came to find! Scar keeps his trudging footsteps heavy, and not only because he's limping now (his glitch clinging on the back of his leg; difficult to bend). His crossbow doesn't make a fantastic cane. Mumbo went and tucked his bed in the back of the little cave. He sits at the foot of it, the sheets still neatly made up. Yeah, Scar's been there. When there's red life juices thrumming in your code, it's hard to settle down.

Mumbo's hunched over there at the end, rubbing his thumb against his diamond sword. He's in his pajama skin - loose white T-shirt with all-too-familiar red text scrawled across the chest - and breathes slowly, warmly, in a way that flutters his mustache.

Oh, he's very red, you see… but Scar is not afraid of him. Mumbo is his friend.

The torchlight flickers against the pale, sharp edges of Mumbo's face. The blade is sharp enough, he's already nicked himself a couple times on both hands. White marks expose the first layer of goopy spawn egg code stuff between skin and soul. As Scar steps in on swaying feet, Mumbo lifts his eyes. The torch crackles halfway between them.

"I feel nothing," is the first thing Mumbo says. That's his greeting - all of that - and Scar tilts up his mouth in patient sympathy. Mumbo keeps picking his thumb against the blade, even though he's no longer looking at it. Hot eyes fixate on Scar's… Hot and cool! Very cool. He likes to think himself cool in the head, anyway. Mumbo murmurs, "See, that's why I don't think this game's for me. I feel nothing."

"Oh, you love me. I'm always there for my friends. Everybody loves me. In fact, that's why I'm here."

Mumbo lurches to his feet. He swings his arm, bringing the blade straight so it points at Scar's throat from several blocks away. "I could kill you," he says. His voice doesn't slip, doesn't tremble, but lands without emotion. "I could carve you like a pumpkin. You too are a lump of pixels with nothing inside, falsely smiling. I'd feel nothing, I suspect."

"No, no," says Scar, striding forward. He's not afraid of Mumbo, silly! Not Mumbo in his bare feet and pajamas, his eyes wide and wild. Mumbo's a good guy; Mumbo is his friend. He steps closer. Mumbo's shoulders tremble. He tilts back his head, staring through Scar like they're separated by a curtain of fire and nothing more.

Gently (firmly), Scar knocks Mumbo's blade aside with his knuckles. "You just need a good murder in your system, Mumbo! Red life is where all the good times are! I might even be jealous- you get to have all the fun! Why, I've got to uphold deals and alliances, and I'm carrying Etho's weight along with it, and killing BigB didn't give me nearly the rush I wanted. Would I lie to you about the good times?"

"I could kill you. I could kill you, Scar."

Grian stole the traits of Enderman

"Um- No, no! You actually can't- See, I'm all alone down here; that would be so mean… You have to be purple for the turn of an episode at least, I think I heard. I'm looking for a friend!"

"I could kill you," Mumbo says again, knuckles tight around the hilt of his sword. It's still extended, and Scar's so close now that it's an easy flick for Mumbo to press the tip of it against Scar's iron chestplate. Having literal iron abs would be a funny sight. Diamond abs would be amazing. That probably hurts when doing crunches. Imagine all that grating back and forth… Diamond cuts diamond- that's a real thing. No, it's true!

"Oh, it's Truce Night… Killing me will have to wait."

Mumbo's glowing eyes bore in a little deeper. "It's not Truce Night 'til the double beeps go off. You're in my cave."

PearlescentMoon went to bed. Sweet dreams!

Scar's hand glitters white. He shifts his crossbow from his inventory to his main hand. Mumbo's blade still rests against his chest, but in all the red haze - and in all his red protests - Mumbo looks frightened. He's backed into a corner, and if he's spooked, he'll definitely swing. Will he, though? Scar's allowed to strike back if Mumbo hits him first. Reds are mostly dead, you know… Reds have wild, mind-messing mods pumping in their code. "But I want to team with you!" And he laughs. Isn't that obvious? Has he not been clear?"

"You can't, Scar." Mumbo's tone is short and fierce, like the blade pressing into Scar's chestplate.

"Oh, you were wonderful at scaring people back in Last Life."

There's a pause. Mumbo's eyes fidget like he's snapping screenshots or zooming on Scar's face. The sword point scratches, diamond squealing over iron. It doesn't drop any lower. "Well, that's quite encouraging. Thank you for, um… saying such flattering things about me." Mumbo blinks. "I don't really know what I'm doing here; to be perfectly honest, I feel like I was absolutely pants at being a red name last time. I really don't know if I deserve to be here."

"Why, you're here to be my friend, of course!"

"Am I? Really?"

"Oh, of course, of course… Have you seen Bdubs, by the way?"

Perplexity (Perplexion) stitches its way across every line of Mumbo's face. For the first time, the sword scrapes downward. It drops from Scar's chestplate and dangles, tip aimed at his heel instead. Mumbo upturns one hand. He holds it out, awaiting payment. "Have you brought me something nice? I can kill him for you. Would you like me to kill him for you?"

Such a polite request… Mumbo is so very polite. It's one of the beautiful qualities that makes him such a nice friend. Scar grabs his hand instead, shaking up and down. Mumbo's mouth twitches at the contact, though he keeps breathing and doesn't jerk back his hand. "Oh, no," he says, "but Bdubs is at the surface! And Bdubs is such a lovely man. It's our job to protect him."

"That… sounds like the exact opposite of my job right about now, Scar."

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