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aroaessidhe · 2 months ago

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2024 reads / storygraph

The Mires

literary, magical realism

follows three women who are neighbours in Kāpiti, in the near future

a Māori single mother, and her daughter - who can sense the thoughts and memories of people and the land

a refugee from climate disaster, struggling to fit in with the unfamiliar culture and relative safety with her husband and young daughter

and an older white woman whose son has recently moved home after being groomed into a right wing extremist group, causing tensions to rise among them all

#the mires #tina makereti #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #eally beautiful novel with shifting perspectives and poetic writing; exploring climate change; community; motherhood; poverty; extremism.#A lot of really interesting characters! I especially enjoyed kiri and sera’s tentatively developing friendship.#I loved the depiction of the magical/spiritual elements of Wairere’s connection to water and life. And of course I love Swamp POV.#I have the tendency to describe books like this as set in a ‘climate ravaged near future’ but it’s ones like that these that emphasise that #while it may be set in a near future; the climate disaster they’ve experienced is exactly what is happening in many places now #I also appreciate how the theme of community and connection and growth extended to conor -#he could easily be an irredeemable racist villain but the narrative has more depth and complexity than that; giving him space to atone #without making him more important than the other characters.#Like not that I care about him specifically but in terms of the other’s ability to connect & understand.#I always love an audiobook that includes the author’s note and acknowledgements!!!!

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xxplastic-cubexx · 9 days ago

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just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.

I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?

i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...

#snap chats #thats why we have tag rambles AHAHA #ok so to tackle things one at a time charles ultimately deciding to stay in space despite his expressed want to return to earth #obviously it was when lilandra pointed out if her sister took charge of the shi'ar then the universe- earth included- would be in peril #charles notes his position as a losing one: whichever choice he makes he loses #he goes to earth then the universe could be at stake/he stays in space he loses his kids #of course charles COULD just put his faith in the starjammers but is that a risk he wants to take ? evidently not #charles' reoccurring flaw is he's willing to sacrifice personal relationships for the greater perceived good #even lilandra acknowledges this- that charles' homesickness for earth was an inevitability just as she is indebted to protecting the stars #so now his ruptured relationship with illyana and co- esp right after comforting a split illyana last issue #we've seen charles act more coldly/rashly when he's about to lose people (i think of his first death with the og5 mostly)#i mean it's a key part to charles' chara that he doesn't favor mind controlling others and im sure he has the same regard for his students #he's aware of the damage it can do and in this instance- for one reason or another- he orders it to be done regardless #im sure he does this as a form of defense: if his kids are upset with him they won't feel too bad about losing him and it'll be less painfu #obviously we still see sam wish charles farewell and wish for him to come back soon but yk.. worthy attempt..#and it's not as if charles wants them to hate him ENTIRELY.. he's still touched by sam's goodbye no.... fickle man he is..#i dont think charles is totally afraid to confront the og5- its what made him want to return to earth with the nms initially #tho again.. could his decision to stay in the stars be influenced by that? that maybe he ISNT prepared to confront them like he thought?#who's to say... not me i dont got that psych degree yet..#erik being charles' trusted confidant definitely made his decision easier on top of that: i mean is he needed if he has a substitute #i think charles DOES wholly trust erik: charles really doesnt approach his x-men half heartedly. from his pov ofc #if he didn't genuinely believe in erik's potential he wouldn't have picked him; hes a comforting thought when charles decides to depart #'although i'm gone erik understands me and my goals enough to continue my work as good as i would have so i have nothing to worry about'#which. yk. makes the whole White King thing kinda awkward VJAELVJEAKL charles you fool #i have no idea how this saga ends though... tbh im only on ish 45 of NM i just read 50 and 51 to get context for this ask #so i can only wait and see how this saga turns out... once i finish reading house of m/secret invasion stuff jvLKEJKA #idk im tired and rambling dont pay attention to me.. ramblin bout charles' brain is a good day for me regardless if i make sense jVLAJ

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inseparabiles · 15 days ago

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google search history:

how do you tell if it's fibromyalgia again, can you die of muscle pain, ms, als, heart attack in women, trapezius pain, why can't I lift my arms, how long does a fibro flare last, how do I stop hurting everywhere, things that aren't drugs that clear your brain fog, what to do when your hands hurt, joint pain that isn't arthritis, ginger health benefits, ginger inflammation, what to do when painkillers don't work, how to sue god

#fuck you up disease (fibromyalgia)#I think the worst part about fibro is that there's very little non-clinical info #readily available #not many people talk about it and if they do it's with like a suicide disclaimer #so what we have is this really bare bones medical nonsense we get from google #that makes it sound like fibro is just feeling a little tired and achy sometimes #and on the other end of the spectrum the hellscapes of personal anecdotes #from people who have 10 000 chronic diseases and pain so bad they take morphine #and you're there like. which one is it. clearly what we have is not fibro since #it's neither nothing (I can't get out of bed) nor unbearable kill me perpetually hospitalised levels of suffering #like. do I want morphine? yes #do I absolutely need morphine right now? probably not honestly.#I'm not suicidal I just want to not be afraid of making food #in case getting up and moving will have us in so much pain again that we get in our head about it #like no we're not dying. people don't just randomly get stage 4 cancer after going out in cold weather.#that's not how terminal illness works #but with the brain fog we have no inner comms and with no inner comms we have no memory #and with severe amnesia life is only what life is now and nothing else exists #there is only this moment and this moment #this moment lads #it hurts so fucking bad #shoutout to all the comments recently who've been like wow you write Caracalla's POV so believably #friend it's because chronic pain is chronic pain and when your brain does not fucking work the world gets weird #but weirdly it's like. that makes this almost feel like there's a point to hurting like this.#like I may be going through the school of suffering day in and day out right now but #just as a reminder - it makes it easier to understand others who do.#being the punching bag of the sad and infernal gods keeps us humble in this house #and allows us to write VERY WEIRD FICTION

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pyrosomatic-metamorphosis · 1 year ago

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thinking about 4halo again and dying

they just. they used to be so sweet together. and then the election arc managed to genuinely turn them against each other (and bad is still affected by being caged in the museum) and i would NOT have been surprised if a rebellion had started within the next few weeks after their last fight and. they used to be friends and then they almost destroyed each other

and then the eggs went missing

and there are so many parallels between them, but one of the biggest parallels is how they're both protectors. they both protected the eggs (and, when he became president, forever extended that protection to the other islanders) but the eggs went missing and they had to put all of that aside. Forever was quicker to put it down than Bad was (it felt like only a very temporary truce, from Bad's end), but they put their problems on hold, because their eggs. were gone.

and another parallel. the destruction. both of them with their plans to cause ruin because then, maybe, theyll get their kids back. bad caused most of the grieving arc damage directly, and got aypierre and antoine to help him. he dug holes in the ground. he placed mines everywhere and leapt into them. he started the lavacasting process of the fed building (and was interrupted by admins, so he stopped, but philza and fit were still right to laugh at him lmaoo). he drilled a hole through the side of the federation office from a huge distance away. he has chosen to hurt his friends and himself to get the eggs back. whatever the cost.

forever destroyed the island. or he planned to destroy the island. or he was interrupted just before he destroyed the island or or or. I don't know. but it was big, and it was bad. bad enough that the feds had to step in and forcefully drug him, and kickstart the happy pills arc.

and the happy pills arc..... oughghghgh as fucking awful as it was for their characters to experience i genuinely truly think that it saved them from each other. when he was first told about forever being fucked up bad was still in the "i need to kick his butt" mindset, and was all ready for an excuse to kill forever. and then he saw forever. and the first proposal happened. and bad was angry and he was sad and upset and he was careful. forever tried to kill him. bad decided to save him. forever kept trying to marry him. forever kept taking the pills. forever was so scared of his own anger and all of the damage he could and would have caused to his family that he kept taking drugs that kept him so out of his mind he hallucinated his son was just sleeping safely at his house.

and they both tried to kill each other. and they both failed.

and bad showed phil and cellbit (and tubbo) the item scanner that dapper discovered, which could destroy him, because nothing else was working. because they needed to save forever. because bad was reminded by then that forever was a victim of the federation instead of just a mouthpiece for it. and then when forever woke up he saw bad, suffering, and so excited to see him awake.

and now they're here on opposite sides again with forever projecting his protection urges onto the fed worker in bad's basement and bad frustrated that he isn't being believed and his evil plans of giving ron lemons apology brownies is being interrupted and. look at them. soft "i hate you" and the appreciation room and bad's quiet heartbreak when he learned about forever being missing and the "i miss you" book bad got mad at because it asked him not to torture fed workers. does anyone hear me im so ill about them. do you understand they care about each other so much and the happy pills arc reminded them of that. forever realized bad is colourblind and bad assumed forever was poisoning him and then forever helped bad cheat on another colourblindness test and forever was giving bad flowers and bad was accepting them and accepted that he was colourblind despite his previously constant denial and! i don't know if im being comprehensible and i dont really care i will be honest i just need you to know i am frothing at the mouth like a rabid little beast. they are a TRAGEDY of miscommunication and external pressure but they love so so much. platonic or romantic or qpp they CARE and it tears me to shreds

#qsmp #4halo #i feel like ive talked about this exact thing like three separate times but #its one of those things that really Kills Me #and its CRUCIAL to understanding them and their relationship #they were fighting and now have found peace in hell #and forever using his care for bad as a distraction to not focus on his Own woes #and the way he's so sure bad needs help the way he was helped that at heart bad is a good person who doesnt want to be hurting people #and in a Way he's right. bad doesn't want to hurt his loved ones. everyone else? yeah. in a heartbeat. but his family...#but he's still makign the choice to do it. it's not lashign out in desperation the way forever destroying the island was #bad is hurting people with Purpose. he's putting thought into it. he's testing people and their knowledge and their motivations and he will #use them all as tools that can be bent and broken if it means they get the eggs back. he'll do it to himself too #especially to himself #ghhhgrhrgh the way theyre both self sacrificial and self destructive the Parallels the fucking parallels #i can best examine their relationship from a bbh pov and it agonizes me because i can't get all the nuance of forever's pov #because i dont speak portuguese yet :c #so best i can do is talk crazy about them like a Lure for other analyst shippers #pspspssps dont you see my ship. dont you see how canon 4halo is !!! in 8 acts #dont you want to examine them and their parallels and the way they are both so strange about relationships but they're finding a way to car #in a way that works for them #pspspsps #like me talking about qbbh vacation arc got the fandom acknowledging his sillies and directly got me a friend to talk about him to (hi kia!#maybe it will work here also #come to the dark side we have complex relationship dynamics that are frequently misunderstood and mislabelled #YOU can help change the world

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spasikonik · 3 months ago

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an edek themed collage 🪲

#not me posting this just to have an excuse to talk about him more aaahahhhah #i've created edek approx 4 years ago and since then he went through little to no design changes #he is jus flawless. perfect #his personality however.. oof #i mean !!! he's not a bad guy #as i mentioned before he's very friendly and open to new people and opportunities #its just. he was based on my (now) ex best friend #me and that friend were close during primary school and despite me moving cities we managed to keep this friendship going #but you know. it wasnt the same. it became long distance #and i think i manifested my longing by creating an oc that was based on his aesthetics and personality #it took me some time to realise that i've been viewing this friend through lens of this oc. that of course lead to idealisation #because he wasn't physically there with me i created an imaginary version of him in my head #it was also because at this point we were getting older and slowly growing apart #and i think i wanted to grasp a little part of him that would still understand me #edek's relationship with ryba was also heavily influenced by this relationship #and. well. the things that my ex friend and edek have in common are short temper (despite acting chill) and trouble showing affection #he also tends to say things faster than he can even think them through #oh and he enjoys long walks through the woods and mountain hiking and bicycling and bugs and mushrooms and. yeah #and the other traits!!!!#he is suuuuuuper protective of his loved ones especially his younger sister irenka #his interest include everything thats fantasy and with folklore themes #hes also a stoner lol #aaand a funfact - he and zbyszek (of dycha za zbycha!!!!) used to be friends in childhood but they aren't friends as of now #why you might ask? from edek's pov zbyszek and his family just randomly disappeared #and edek was the only one that wasn't in on the fact that they have moved to the usa #edek wondered why his best friend at that time didn't tell him such important news #and often thought that there mustve been something wrong with him or zbyszek didn't actually like him that much #this incident heeeavily influenced his perception of relationships in the future #OH AND ALSOO hes an artist he graduated art hs with a degree in graphic design and is in college for the same thing #original character

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a-gay-bloodmage · 23 days ago

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To Be Soft

(Morrigan & Andrea Cousland)

The Warden, Andrea Cousland, has killed Flemeth and given Morrigan her true Grimoire. Instead of leaving her alone to read, Andrea sits with her and talks about family and Morrigan wishes she wanted to keep pushing her away.

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lanternlightss · 4 months ago

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having bardven thoughts again. Hi

#post rebellion bard of ven ….. lays on the ground. such good flavor i think of them often. so much.#ven who is trying to learn how to human. bard holding his hand and helping them the same way they helped him #u have to understand ….#i also just think it’s absurdly funny thinking abt the rest of mond seeing The Leader and God Themself just cuddling on a day to day basis #the ambassadors of other nations have to be in for such a treat #pov you’re from liyue and you see ?? god ??? blatantly favoring this one bard ??????????????#everyone is just cool with it ?????#oh yeah they used to be inseparable before the overthrowing of the tyrant. even more so now after everything that’s happened !!!#<- does not elaborate #like okay. ig this is happening. ?#lantern says stuff

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liquidstar · 11 months ago

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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esteemed-excellency · 4 months ago

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ok i'm almost done with the new firmament chapter, i have So Many thoughts 👀

#keeping my thoughts in the tags bc it's late and this in not going to be very coherent #positive thing first: i did enjoy the lore!! i'm a sucker for lore dumps and i love to connect dots so it was a very fun read to me #that said. it was fun but also convoluted af in some points so i saved everything in the journal to analyse it #after the entirety of firmament comes out. i have Many Thoughts about the shames mention and the judgements #but i have Zero Braincells to elaborate them. they're all going in the red string board until further notice #one thing i did NOT vibe with were the christian references but you all know that about me by now #i'm just trying to appreciate the funky cosmic horror vibe here i don't need a gloria in excelsis deo reference #(i understand it conveys a specific vibe but. there are many other things that can do that)#talking from a character pov this chapter was SO PERFECT for my guy's own flavour of insanity. drowning him in violant forever >:)#also. he wasn't happy about erasing the prisoner's memories. he understood it was necessary but he didn't like to destroy them #(i ended up leaving him with Love)#speaking of the prisoner. what the fuck is going on with him. i need to study him under a microscope #(and reread everything when i have more braincells)#i'm also very glad to finally have a bit more info about the vulgate and the apocryphal realities #this chapter answered a few questions and i hope the nex one will answer even more #tldr: very cool lore even if it was Confusing AF sometimes (but we still have more chaoters to read so we'll see)#+ i love zenith so fucking much it's my favourite roof location so far!! psychic damaging memory beam city <333 #anyway goodnight #fl spoilers #chitchat

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a-so-called-person · 5 months ago

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Jayvik is my barbenheimer

#the surface level meaning of that is that i find them just as iconic as the memeish event #but the deeper level meaning of that is that jayces story is like oppenheimer and viktors has some barbie undertones for the funniest reason #like jayces at best abt being overly excited abt science then getting his ass kicked by the ~philosophycal/political~ stupidity of everyone #at best #meanwhile viktor HAS very much the same story just from a differents social classes pov its also so fucking funny #but hes also like. a “change your humanity arhhhh” villain like he has a THEME of what it means to be human alongside that #like what other movie? fucking Barbie #CREATOR VIKTOR IS THE CREATOR OF BARBIE LAND FOR REAL TRUST ME #anyway however i have no hope that they are going to introduce what it means to be HUMAN theme that more older versions had #in arcane #even if they do they will not give him any grace like he WILL most likely be 100% wrong abt it #like delusional to cover for his own emotional wounds #Hes reverse barbie with like socialism as barbie land #BARBIE EVEN HAS A SPACE ODYSSEY REFERENCE LIKE THE SCENE ABT APES(HUMANS) OVERCOMING NATURE BUT ITS LITTLE GIRLS AND DOLLS #BARBIE VIKTOR PARALELS REAL #Do you get it. do you get how jayvik barbenheimer #arcane viktor is very much black and grey and fits oppenheimer but he has like a veey random pink ass bow on his fit at all times to me #anyway this was an insane rant #but basically they did put barbie in oppenheimer and made her fit so well you didnt even notice its viktor in arcane #still waiting for a well written version where the opposite happens #if you didnt understand none of this and now think im conpletly insane i understand thats why it was put in the tags #i was basically conjuring a very unhinged venn diagram #and i also really like the og version of viktor even tough i have a VERY attachment to arcane viktor #too much attachment sometimes #anyways hope you enjoyed this novel i put in the tags 👍👍

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valoflunar · 7 months ago

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Michelle by sir Chloe but its pandora staring at Dorcas MESMERIZED even though she knows she shouldn’t be because she’ll never be more than ‘just friends’ with Dorcas and the affection between them will always be nothing more than platonic even if she so desperately wants it to be more than that and the slim chance she had is no longer there because Dorcas is now with Marlene and she feels so bad for being in love with Dorcas because god she’s with someone else and she’ll never be hers and-

#Someone please tell me they understand this slightly incoherent ramble #Like pandora and Dorcas have always been affectionate with each other and neither really knows if it’s platonic or romantic anymore #And pandora desperately wants it to be more than platonic but she’s too scared of losing what she already has with Dorcas??#But then Dorcas gets with Marlene and pandora is SHATTERED because she never got to confess to Dorcas and now she’s with Marlene??#And now she’ll never be able to have Dorcas as hers and she feels so bad for loving Dorcas even though she’s with Marlene because it’s WRON #But she just can’t stop?? Because how could she when Dorcas is all she ever wanted??#So she tries to get over Dorcas and tries to tell herself that she isn’t in absolute love with her anymore (and fails)#I’m not normal about them can you tell?#dorcas meadows #dorcas meadowes #dorcas my beloved #lesbian dorcas #pandora and dorcas #pandora rosier #pandora lovegood #pandora lestrange #the slytherin skittles #the pantheon #pandora x dorcas #pandorcas #i could ramble about them forever #I’m up to rant about Dorcas’ pov if anyone’s interested (please)#Dorcas x pandora #meadowfairy/fairymeadow would be such a cool ship name for them #the marauders #the marauders girls #the valkyries #the marauders era #the marauders fandom

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sisterdivinium · 1 year ago

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Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Category: Gen Characters: Sister Lilith (Warrior Nun), Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun), Mother Superion (Warrior Nun), Ava Silva, Jillian Salvius, Sister Beatrice (Warrior Nun), Father Vincent (Warrior Nun), Cardinal Duretti (Warrior Nun), Adriel (Warrior Nun), Sister Camila (Warrior Nun) Additional Tags: Angst, It's all of their relationships to one another and to the halo, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

A short AU for if Mary hadn't arrived on time and Lilith managed to get the halo in 1x05.

#warrior nun #narratives and similar #i debated myself for a long time about tagging so many characters BUT they arguably DO all have an importance in this one #and i suppose my concept of angst might be a tad more tame than most people's but at least you know it's not... happy #anyway i am NOT tagging everyone here lol #i mentioned au's that stick closer to canon the other day and i suppose this qualifies. one small detail...#anyway i was dying to post this one as soon as the challenge closed #also because now i get to post The Other Thing for the valentines bingo #i'll post that on friday instead of the usual drabble so stay tuned for it #also if you're wondering about the title... the challenge was the word precious #so of course i just had the song precious by depeche mode in my head all the damn time. it's a line from it.#if god has a master plan/ that only he understands/ i hope it's your eyes he's seeing through #you can interpret why i chose that and whose pov i used as you will lol

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a-mythologynerd · 9 months ago

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Just finished The Familiar and it was very fun! Definitely captured my imagination and I adore Leigh Bardugo’s historical and modern fantasies. She does such a great job of evoking those themes of injustice and the grey morality of being locked in systems and corrupt power structures. I’ll probably talk more on this later but if you’re a fan of her work (especially the Alex Stern series) I’d give it a read.