#now i just need to not check out of work until then

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

I had a panic attack in my kitchen the other day. 

It was a really warm evening, I was making dinner in the kitchen and I noticed I felt a bit weird. At first I didn’t pay it much mind, I was probably just annoyed at having to stand at the hot stove in this weather, but then the thought crossed my mind “What if I falsely believe this is some harmless discomfort and I’m actually having a heart attack?” - and those of you who struggle with health anxiety as well can surely imagine it was all downhill from there. Suddenly I got dizzy and my chest hurt and I felt like I couldn’t breathe… 

And I said to myself “These are all the symptoms of my usual panic attacks, these aren’t new or unusual symptoms that require me to get medical attention right now”, so I turned off the stove and did the first aid I learned works for my panic attacks:

I went to the fridge and got an ice cube and held it in my hand, until that sensory stimulation snapped me back to reality. And when I could think clearly again, I felt safe enough to do a deep breathing exercise and go through my “Why do I feel so shitty” checklist (checking for unmet physical needs I may not be consciously aware of), and I realized I was dressed way too warmly for the weather, so I changed into something lighter - and then I went back to making dinner. My “heart attack” was just me overheating and then my anxiety attaching a wrong interpretation to that. 

That’s a pretty boring story, right? Nothing dramatic happened. But that’s exactly why I share it with you. 

When you’re young and mentally ill (or if you have been freshly diagnosed with it, at any age), a common fear is that it’ll stay. You’ll be like this forever now, you’ll never go back to normal. And so positivity often focus on recovery, on “it’ll go away one day, you just gotta be strong until then”. And maybe it will! Mental illness is a pretty vast umbrella term, some conditions under it can be cured completely. 

But I wanted to share another perspective here: even if it won’t go away, even if it indeed stays forever because it’s a chronic condition or a treatment-resistant one (or because you learn, after years of wondering why your depression and anxiety won’t go away with traditional therapy, that you’re actually autistic and need a completely different approach than a neurotypical patient (hi, it’s me)) .. it won’t feel like it did at the beginning forever, simply because it’s no longer so new. When it’s new, you have no blueprint on how to deal with it. It’s a situation you’re thrown into with no prior training - of course you feel completely lost and hopeless! 

Mental illness is a real illness and as any illness, it’ll affect your daily life - but over all those days, you learn more about it. You try things to cope with the symptoms and realize that some techniques work better for you than others. Even if you can only learn to manage it rather than cure it: you figure out how to deal with it better. You draw your blueprint. 

It’s still part of your life but it’s no longer the showstopper. It becomes just a boring story of stopping dinner to take care of your symptoms first. And that’s something to hope for, to fight for. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[mistymisfit]

it's my birthday today so here's a short Jason x Reader drabble!

warnings: just pure fluff ! + A bit suggestive at the end, but nothing happens (rare no angst)

wc: 1k

Jason's broken into your apartment again, it's pretty much a routine at this point. Though he wouldn't call it breaking in if he was your boyfriend who had keys to your place but couldn't walk through the door like a normal human being. He disarmed and set up again every security measure he installed himself to keep you safe. Took his time to check that you locked everything too, all while you slept peacefully in your room. And just when he was sure everything was up and running and you'd be safe he made his way to the bedroom.

His heart skipped a beat when he saw you. You looked so cute sleeping on your side, taking all the covers and your hair a mess. He just felt an overwhelming need to kiss you senseles, so he left the bouquet of flowers on your nightstand. He rapidly removed his mask to leave it on his bedside table, sitting on the opposite side of the bed. He made quick work of unlacing his boots and kicking them off so he could hop on the bed with you.

"Baby," He whispered, pulling down the sheets and lifting your shirt so he could kiss your hips. His kisses trailed up on your side until you hummed and shifted in your sleep, now lying on your back, unaware of the presence of your boyfriend.

He whispered your name before he started kissing your stomach. By the time his kisses had gone up to your neck, he started to wonder just how deep you were sleeping.

"Jay?" You finally wake up, barely aware of anything but the figure above you.

"What if it was an intruder?" He teases."You're a pretty deep sleeper, ma"

"Who else would it be? you got me living in the bat cave with how tight the security is. " Even half asleep, you had a quick wit. It made him chuckle and kiss your cheek.

"Happy Birthday, baby"

It made you check the time on your phone, 5 am. Only him would come back from his vigilante activities and wake you up at 5 am on your birthday. Lucky you had the day off so you could sleep in a little more. In the process of grabbing your phone to check the time you noticed the flowers, your favorite ones, and impossible to get this time of the year.

"Those are for me?"

"Not really, some old lady gave them to me so I could ask her niece out," He joked, gaining a swift slap from the back of your hand to his bicep. It did nothing but make him laugh, and you realized just then that he still was in his red hood gear. Even when you've told him a million times not to get in the bed wearing it. "'Course they are, the best for my favorite birthday girl "

"Take your clothes off," You demanded, the sleep still in your mind made you not realize how that sounded. He opened his mouth to make some snarky comment, so you cut him off before he begins "You know what I mean"

He chuckled again, kissing the tip of your nose before getting up to undress. You rubbed your eyes as you sat on the bed, then took the flowers to get a closer look. It was a beautiful bouquet, a mix of colors and flowers that matched your favorites, so unlike your basic red roses. It showed how much he knew you, how sweet of a boyfriend he could be.

"Where did you even get these?" You asked, smelling them. You noticed how fresh they were, how bright the colors were. They didn't look like a usual purchase from a Gotham flower shop, much less this late-or early.

"Ah,I was hoping you wouldn't ask that." He sighed as you watched him toss his shirt somewhere on the floor. He tried crawling back on the bed and kissing you to distract you, but you knew better than that.

"I don't trust the pockets of that," You complained, talking about his cargo pants, moving your head to the side so his lips fall on your cheek. "and careful with the flowers "

"Yes ma'am," He replied in a solemn tone, just to mock you. Then, as you watched him strip to his underwear, holding the huge bouquet like a baby, it hit you.

"Jason Peter Todd, did you get these from Poison Ivy?"

Jason freezed, of course he did. His reaction gave you all the answers you needed. You were ready to hit him with the very same flowers. How could he put himself in so much danger for such a ridiculous thing?

"In my defense,"He began, and you were already having none of it. He was lucky he made it out in one piece. "She said you're the best hostage she ever had, and she's a romantic deep down"

"Jason," You sighed. The way you said his name had him smiling again, knowing all too well, he was about to be forgiven.

"And before you kill me, " He sat down next to you, a hand resting on your thigh. "I've got the whole day planned for ya', ma"

You left the flowers on your nightstand again, and turned your face to see him before asking;"Did she make the bouquet?"

"I'm appalled, 'course not." He gasped offended, "I had a vision"

"Really?" You smiled, straddling him.

He nodded, smirking and putting his hands on a familiar place on your waist. His lips and your finally met in a kiss that's more smiles than actual kissing. He knew he was lucky to have you and that he had to treat you right, there was no other option for him. If you asked for the moon and stars he'd find the way to give them to you. Jason was sure he could face whatever fate threw his way as long as he had you on his side. But he couldn't find the words to tell you that and settled for the next best thing; kissing you desperately.

"Shouldn't we put those on water?" He questioned, out of breath.

"Later, I've gotta fuck my handsome boyfriend " And with that you had him melting under your hands, the mighty and scary Red Hood reduced to a blushing mess by his favorite birthday girl.

a/n: If I feel inspired, I'll write about how reader knows Poison Ivy, but until then, happy birthday to me 🥳. Btw if this has any mistakes, ignore them. My sister is holding my laptop hostage and I'm back in my hometown.

[cowboybop69]

late night | spencer r. x fem!reader

✫彡 genre: fluff/angst

✫彡 summary: spencer gets stuck up at the office working on a case even after he promised he’d be home early, of course he finds a way to make it up to you though

you gazed up at the clock next to the tv again like you had been for the past 3 hours. tick tock, tick tock. the quiet sounds of the house feeling eerie. it was already 11:00pm and your boyfriend still had yet to call or even text saying he was going to be home late. you sighed as you got off the couch, an intense feeling of sleepiness washed over your body as you headed to the kitchen to grab a glass of water before passing out in bed without him.

after gulping down half your cup, you leaned over the counter and pulled out your phone to check your messages. surprise surprise, still nothing. the last thing spencer had said to you was “see you soon, love you” 7:46pm. this wasn’t the first time he had said he would be home early and not held up his promise, but who were you to blame him? of course being super smart and having a eidetic memory was a very important asset to the team, but it had its drawbacks.

you walk down the hall into your shared bedroom, silently slipping on a old t-shirt and some shorts, crawling into bed and turning all the lights off. just as you closed your eyes, the sound of the front door opening sparked an angry fire in your gut. not wanting to rehash old argument you decided to just ignore spencer if he tried to say anything to you. the door to the bedroom opened and you tried to tune out the sound of spencer shuffling around getting ready to sleep until you felt him slip into bed.

he gently shook your shoulder to see if you were still up. “sweetheart, are you still awake?” he asked softly. after a minute of no response from you, he turned to his side and just lied awake still winding down from all the loud late night shenanigans and joking that came from the office. it was hard to just ignore him like this when you know he really meant no harm, but that didn’t stop it from stinging a little. “spence you promised..” you said in a quiet tone. turning over in the bed you met his gaze and saw the sorry look in his eyes. spencer exhaled slowly and sat up turning the lamp on. “im sorry, you know how busy we get with all the paperwork..” he stated in a voice that was laced with guilt. you sat up tears welling in your eyes, “i understand but i feel like i never see you anymore, always caught up with those stupid cases.. i get that your saving these people and i know its unfair of me to say this but sometimes i wish you didn’t have that stupid job.” you finally looked at him completely upset.

spencer pulled you in for a hug and started softly brushing through your hair with his fingers. “its not unfair, i should have let you know..im sorry for not being here, i know i need to make more time for you.” he sighed. “this weekend ill do whatever you want to make it up to you, okay?”. you immediately perked up a little “can we go to that coffee shop i like with the chocolate croissants..?” you slowly escaped his hold and looked him dead in the eyes. he chuckled softly “of course baby, ill buy you as many chocolate croissants as you want, im sorry”

you hugged spencer tight, “im sorry too, now the faster we sleep the faster we get to the coffee shop” you laughed a bit. turning off the light and both of you now laying down, he wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your forehead. “anything for you my love” he whispered as you guys fell into a deep sleep comforted by the warmth of eachother.

———————————————————————-

a/n: GUYS THIS WAS MY FIRST FIC EVER pls if its shit tell me what i can improve on, i rlly wanted to get into writing but idrk where to start SO TY

[tremendum]

heaven is a place on earth ; joel miller

02; stopping and stalling

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au (pre-outbreak, altered ages), Joel Miller x fem!nanny!reader. dedicated to the anon who suggested this trope.

↬   prologue  part one series masterlist main masterlist

↬     "after only a few weeks, your mind spits at you - only a few weeks, and you already fucked this up."

↬     warnings; tagged 18+ for eventual smut and mature themes. MDNI. age gap (reader is 22, joel is 35), fiscal anxieties, shitty ex, brief mention of marijuana use, some Tommy x reader, brief allusions to masturbation, fantasies, brief hand kink, brief scent kink (???lol), brief praise kink (use of term girl), car talk tbh im sorry... also light angst/anxiety i guess, fluff. reader is described as smaller than joel.

↬     heyyyyy guys! thanks for being patient, i had some writer's block but im finally back! i hope you like the next part of this series, lmk what u think/if theres anything you'd like to read w this trope. also im sorry i cant help that there is flirting with tommy too,,, i need them both expeditiously lol. xoxo love u all

series mixtape, song three; In Too Deep, Sum 41. 2000.

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"shit."

thighs burning, your shoes squish against the soaked pavement as you carry yourself as fast as possible down the sidewalk. "shit, shit, shit."

the rain that pours from the sky is unforgiving; your hair slides in a stringy mess against your neck as you try to calm your heartbeat, blurrily watching as the house grows larger in your wavering vision.

bottom lip quivering, you ignore the cold shiver that comes up your spine; why today? why, why today?

you're afraid to check your cellphone; hell, you haven't even thought to check it until now! shit. Joel's probably pissed.

you let out a pathetic groan, heart hammering as you ignore the time on your wristwatch: 8:21am. twenty-one minutes late.

fuck, you think. fuck fuck fuck.

you could have texted Joel - in fact, any rational person would have probably had that immediate thought after their car sputtered to a stop on the side of the road, smoke slinking from the side of their hood as the rain splattered aggressively on the windshield.

you should have texted him, let him know you'd be late - but then, you'd gone into your damn glovebox to check your AAA number and been reminded unpleasantly of what you've been working hard to forget; your ex's full name boasted across the registration for the car had sent you into a near frenzy. everything that's built up - the near-eviction, the breakup, the move, the rain, your car. all of it hit you at once.

there's no way you can afford to pay for a fixed engine (and shit, you don't even know if the engine is the problem) without insurance, and your dickhole ex has still not signed any of the paperwork for you to take the title of the car back. so. shit.

for over twenty minutes you've been trudging through the rain - you're soaked to the bone, fighting back tears, and already wondering if you'll be able to take back your full-time job at the library. 

after only a few weeks, your mind spits at you as you turn the corner up the driveway, only a few weeks and you already fucked this up. 

you have to shut your eyes harshly as the front door opens; whoever's on the other side must have been watching out the window for any sign of you - and here you are, washing up on the Miller's driveway like a batch of late season seaweed; a wet puppy, shaking and trying not to have a full breakdown, your eyes clenched shut. 

Joel's voice finds your ears as you finally make it onto the porch - a respite from the downpour, there's just a slight breeze that blows mists of rainwater over your cold form.

you feel like an idiot. you cannot afford to lose this job. you're a fool. 

Joel says your name in concern; a far cry from the anger you'd expected. "y'okay? what happened?”

you take a shaky breath, meeting his eyes - they're warm, honeyed in the darkened skies of the morning and it makes you feel so much worse. he must've slept in, too - odd, considering it's a Wednesday - he's wearing pajama flannels, a gray shirt, and his hair is fluffed out - curling up at the ends, the tips still damp from a shower. Tommy's work boots are gone from the front - he must've gone to work, Joel staying back to wait on your tardiness. fuck.

"I'm so sorry, Joel-" your throat closes up, blinking back the emotion that wavers in your voice. you feel stupid. "I'm so sorry I'm late-" you shake your head, praying to every god up above or below to make your lip stop wobbling so pathetically. 

but Joel doesn't hesitate to step aside, brows drawn low, "come in, you're soakin' wet." 

you bite your lip as you shuffle inside, barely registering the hovering palm on the small of your back as you awkwardly stand on their doormat, focusing your eyes blearily on the darkness of the house. 

the overcast storm throws the usually warm, sunny house into a bout of cool blues and grays - the drawings on the wall, the guitar in the corner reflecting the rolling clouds from the window panes. you suck a breath through your lungs and ignore the way it draws short - either you're very close to crying, or you really need to stop smoking so much weed. probably both. 

"did you walk all the way here?" Joel asks, brows furrowed in that kind look of concern, eyes flickering to the storm outside and back to you. "where's your car?" 

this brings a fresh bout of tears to your eyes and you look up towards the high vaulted ceiling of their foyer, shaking your head. 

"my car broke down, just off Park Street, and I can't-" you sigh, biting back the sting of tears, "I can't take it in, and it was pouring rain and I didn't want to ruin your day-" you are forced to take a sharp inhale, letting out stuttered breaths. you shake your head, hands rising to wipe what's surely the streaks of mascara that have gathered under your eyes, your clothes still sticking to you and hair dripping solemn pools onto Joel's hardwood. "I'm just so sorry that I'm late. I swear, it'll never happen again." 

something in his face becomes very soft - maybe it's the lighting, that casts a slight shadow from his nose, or the way his brows gather together in an upwards tick, but he shakes his head at it makes your heart pang. 

"didn't you see my text, darlin'?" he says softly, "we called off working today. 's too stormy to do construction." 

the name drips from his lips so casually you barely register it fully. your cheeks heat; you're not sure if it's more from his use of the term or from the slow realization washing you in a wave of embarrassment. darlin' - you're not unused to people using words like that, hell, you grew up here - but it's different coming from his mouth.

you ingore that thought; your hands shake slightly as you move to pull out your phone - your purse is soaked too, three shades darker than it usually is. the buttons on your cellphone are damp and your heart pangs when you wonder if it'll be ruined from water damage - but there it is, a text from Joel about forty minutes ago: 

Rain is coming down pretty hard today. You don't need to come over—Sarah and I can manage. Take the day off and relax, you deserve it.

Thanks. Joel

your throat closes tight: "oh," you squeak, biting your lip as the screen becomes blurry; relief floods through you just as embarrassment does - a fun cocktail in your veins that makes you smile weakly. "didn't-" you clear your throat, "didn't see that." 

only a split moment of silence in which the house withstands the assault of rain on its roof; Joel hums, "here, let me get you a towel.”

he disappears down the hall and you take the moment to breathe deep; letting the warmth of the house seep into you, your hands tremble with the emotional strain of humiliation that is coursing through you. what a fool. your heart beats hard in your throat, but there is a large relief when you understand that Joel does not seem keen on firing you for being 20 minutes late to the job he told you not to come in for. you curse yourself for not checking your text messages before leaving your apartment this morning.

Joel returns quickly, towel in hand; you take it and can only bring yourself to whisper your thanks into the empty foyer. 

“don’t worry about it." he says, shrugging one shoulder, "y'said your car's on Park Street- that's over a mile away, why didn’t you call me?”

you strain the water from your hair with the towel, clutching the scent of the warm fabric to you; it's not pink like the one's in Sarah's bathroom, and with a heat on your cheeks, you register it must be one of Joel's. shrugging, you shake your head. “I didn’t want to bother you - or, I guess I was just...distracted. my car… is sort of complicated.”

Joel’s brow furrows, “complicated?”

you hesitate - you don't want to come off to your current 'employer' as untrustworthy or reckless, but it's Joel - he's kind, understanding, if not a bit aloof at times; but you trust him. you swallow with a bitter chuckle, “the car’s title is still in my ex’s name. I can’t bring it to a shop without him, and I don’t know how to even check under the hood myself-”

your hand flies to your face to furiously wipe away the tears of humiliation that fall; great. just what you needed - to cry in front of him like a baby. 

“hey," a hand, warm and heavy, falls to your shoulder; your wet eyes trail to his figure, where he soothes over your shivering arm. you miss its presence as he pulls back away, "if you want, I’ll take a look at it when the rain stops.”

you shake your head, "I couldn't ask you to do that." 

"you're not askin' me, I'm offerin'." he insists; you meet his eyes to find generosity swirling in that honeyed brown; you smile up at him with a watery gaze, unsure how to thank him.

"you can stay here 'till then, or I can give you a ride back to your place in a bit when Tommy gets back. he had t'run to the job site to get our tools." 

you look up at him, craning your neck as you search his expression for any hint of irritation or anger - none. you flush as you wipe under your eyes again, “thank you, Joel. I'm sorry, again, for this..." you look down, gesturing vaguely to yourself,  "...mess." 

he holds your gaze for a moment, as the rain pours against the slats of the house and the panes of the windows, and shakes his head slightly. your stomach rolls over as you stand, still shaking with the nerves and cold, not breaking contact: something about his utter calm in the middle of your hurricane-mind has your face hot. 

Joel opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, a light on the stairwell flips on, and footsteps slide down the stairs, as if Sarah has taken to sliding down the carpet on the balls of her feet. you used to do something similar as a kid.

“dad?” Sarah mumbles, rubbing sleep from her eyes as she appears on the stairs; Joel takes a quick step back from you, the distance sudden and coaxing another rush of surprise to confusion over your cheeks - had he really been standing that close? you have no time to analyze the action before he's speaking to her. 

 “morning, sweetpea." he says, clearing his throat. Sarah's eyes meet yours and they widen slightly, padding over to you and saying your name softly, "are you okay?" she asks as she takes your hand gently. such a sweet girl.

you force a smile, weakened from the moment you'd just had, from the morning you've had; her eyes are so full of that same concern her father carries, though, and it warms your heart. you nod, “I’m alright, Sarah. just a little wet from the rain." you shift on the balls of your feet as your gaze flickers to Joel - he nods, looking back to his daughter, "well, how about we get you some breakfast?” he suggests. inadvertently you become aware of your own rumbling stomach, having come back to life after the realization that you aren't losing your job today. 

Sarah nods, her sleepy face breaking into a smile, “pancakes?”

Joel grins; it's as if the tension eases from the room as he nods back at her, “pancakes it is. 'm right behind you, sweetpea.”

Sarah traipses to the kitchen; you stay back awkwardly, watching as she disappears - Joel turns back to you, lifting a brow. "I can take a look at your car after the rain stops later this afternoon, or if y'want, I can take you home when Tommy's back?" he says, eyeing the keyhooks that remain empty by the front door; you shift on your feet, itching to flee, but itching to stay and embrace the warmth you've come to enjoy in this house. he continues with a small smirk, "-if you stay, I can't offer much besides some mediocre pancakes and some even more mediocre coffee." 

despite your humiliation and exhaustion, you can't help the short laugh at Joel's valiant attempt to lighten your mood; unfortunately his charm is undeniable, and you're reminded of what Michelle said to you those days ago: 

Joel is a nice man. just- don't get into trouble. 

you curb your smile, lifting a brow when you hear Sarah's voice call from the kitchen, yelling your name and dragging out the vowels. "-come help me with breakfast!"

you glance back to Joel, "if you really don't mind, then I'd like to stay," you say smally with a smile. "if I went home, I'd just lay around and mope. plus," you nod your chin towards the kitchen, "seems like you've been demoted from sous chef." you tease, finding a bit of yourself returning in the comfort of the sweet girl you nanny and her father. 

he grins back at you, shaking his head, "I don't doubt you'd make a better sous than me, darlin'-" he takes in your still soaking shirt, "but you should take a shower, I'm worried you'll catch a cold in those clothes."

Joel leads you upstairs, into the master bathroom.

you school yourself, keeping your eyes on his large frame, not daring to look around at his bedroom and all the different pieces of Joel you've yet to discover. you're used to Sarah's room, with pinks and blues and purples and action figures and textbooks - not this adult bedroom, with t-shirts and framed photos and a heavy scent of amber and cedarwood. 

he hands you a stack of clean clothes - a flannel and what seems to be a pair of sweatpants; you smile gratefully, ignoring the heat on your cheeks and in your chest; a feeling nestles in your heart, stuck halfway between humiliation and some kind of intimacy, neither of which feel right in this moment. 

you shake it off as he tells you to take your time, disappearing back down the hallway with a mutter about ensuring nobody set the kitchen on fire yet. 

you close and lock the bathroom door behind you, leaning against it for a moment to catch your breath.

the last hour has been a whirlwind: losing your car, almost losing your job, the humiliation of walking in the rain, showing up to work when you had the day off - all of it catches up to you. 

but instead of crying again, you let out a short huff, shaking your head. you'll be okay - smiling watery to yourself in the mirror, you puff your cheeks and blow the air out slowly. Joel won't fire you. you'll get help with the car. deeeep breath. 

the bathroom is small and intimate and you find it heats up very quickly as you run the shower; within forty seconds the mirror begins to fog and you're wrapped in a cocoon of warmth that eases the chill that's seeped into your bones. you peel off your wet clothes with still-shaking hands, slipping under the heat of the stream quickly. 

you stand, staring at the wall, for several minutes before snapping out of it; a thick scent has begun to leak its way into the steam of the shower, and you eye the culprit - an opened, unscrewed bottle of some kind of men's body wash. you blink with heated cheeks as you're suddenly assaulted with visions of Joel in this very shower; the thought sends your heart racing and you swallow thickly, not able to resist the temptation to lather it over your own body.  

the smell is that same amber scent, citrusy and male - you don't mind it as you let the suds slide off your skin, trying not to think about him. Joel. his kindness, his concern, his hands- you shake your head, trying to dispel the thoughts; it's not right, you tell yourself.

just- don't get into trouble. 

it isn't right to think of him this way, especially when he's just being kind - especially when he's so much older, especially when you're the nanny for his daughter. 

but your hands linger on your skin, the scent of Joel's soap mingling with the steam, creating an intoxicating mix that makes your head spin; the soft weight of his hand soothing your shoulder, how it'd feel if he dragged those hands down - a pang of guilt and you quickly push the thought away, snapping back to the present. 

you slam off the showerhead, shaking your mind of your polluting thoughts. 

the towel Joel gave you earlier dries you off quickly, and you wipe away a small section of the mirror to see your reflection - you pull the clothes on he'd given you, cuffing the length of the pants, buttoning the warm flannel over yourself with a small smile. 

you don't let yourself wallow any longer; the smell of breakfast wafts up through the vents and into Joel's bedroom as you exit, a swirl of steam curling around you as you towel-dry your hair, recalling the comb that lives in Sarah's bathroom drawer. 

the warmth of the shower does wonders.

you pad down the stairs, only feeling vaguely odd wearing borrowed clothes, smiling as your stomach rolls in hunger - you feel much more composed. 

when you make it down, the dining table is set: four placemats, four plates, cups with orange juice, and three mugs of coffee. you raise a brow, "did I miss the fun?" you ask gently. 

Joel and Sarah are bustling around the kitchen, putting the final touch on breakfast - pancakes, fruit, the works. 

"-fun just arrived, actually." a voice from the hall makes your stomach flip, heat traveling up your neck. Tommy must've gotten home while you were showering. 

you roll your eyes good-naturedly as Tommy comes around the corner from the garage, nodding at you in greeting. "you look nice and cozy." he observes, eyes roving over your figure drowning in Joel's clothes. your lips press together, ignoring the fluttering in your stomach at his observation of your clothing. there is no implication - you're the nanny, it's all innocent, but the look he's giving you is not. as if he knows how Joel makes your heart thud and your mind fuzzy. 

"car broke down." you say quickly, sitting where Sarah directs you. Tommy hums, a look that could be read as skeptical, teasing, flickering across his face. Joel flips a final pancake in the pan, pacing over to slide it onto your plate gently. when he leans over you, he's close enough to ask quietly, "you feel better?"

it's soft, kind, as if he's cautious not to air out your previous breakdown to the others in the room. you're grateful. 

"yes. thank you." you say back, smiling genuinely at the man, eyes roving over the moustache which sits on his upper lip, the beard that's grown in and rises to meet his air-dried curls. he returns to work on another culinary project as Sarah places the fruit on the table and drags Tommy to sit down.

there's a bag that Joel is pouring a mixture into; some kind of meat inside, and you hum. Joel really is a very handsome man. "marinade?" you ask.

he looks over at you, nodding, "yeah, s'for the cookout this weekend." he sets the bowl down, sealing the bag. "you coming?" 

you smile tightly, nodding - any excuse to get outside, to see Joel, Sarah, Tommy, even Michelle and Dan. "should be," you say, anxiously looking over to where your car keys now hang next to Joel's near the front door - he must've hung them up for you while you were upstairs. Joel hums, "good." 

Sarah beams at you when everybody takes a seat. "dad said you get to stay with us until the rain stops." she says, poorly concealing her excitement with a grin. you smile back, nodding as you sip on the coffee poured for you. "yes, ma'am." you respond, stretching your legs out a bit under the table.  

"lucky us," Tommy says through a bite of pancake. you huff at his harmless flirting; you just miss the subtle glare Joel shoots his brother. oblivious, Sarah hums. "I hope it never stops raining!" 

it eventually does stop raining. 

it's a little before dinner; the air is fresh and damp, the grass that peculiar shade of green against the backdrop of those high thunderclouds that retreat after their previous downpour. with only a light breeze, the air is charged with some kind of electricity as you breathe in the the scent of petrichor it carries with it. 

"right," the voice says next to you.

Joel's arms are propped against your shitty car, his brows furrowed in focus. the engine still glistens with raindrops, and there's a small line of moisture that caught on the fabric of Joel's shirt from where he'd popped the hood of your car. 

"first things first. let's check the battery connections - sometimes they can get loose or corroded." he mutters, directing you with a long, thick finger over to your car battery; you nod, trying your best to pay attention. 

a finger traces along the seam of a smaller edge of the battery terminal, scarcely avoiding touching it. "see this white, powdery stuff?" he's looking at you; it takes you only a split second as you realize he's waiting for you to answer. you nod quickly, "y-yeah." 

he nods, "that’s corrosion. luckily it's not too bad here, but it can cause issues."

you hum, taking a mental note as you bite your lip - thankful that he's taking the time to actually explain what goes on in the inside of your car, seeing as you're next to hopeless.

he gestures again. "d'you know what this is?" he asks, and it's as if god has given you a freebie from your turmoil this morning; you nod, grinning slightly. "it's where you fill the brake fluid." you say in affirmation. "I have some extra in the trunk." you supplement, glad you're not a total idiot when it comes to the car. 

he nods, "been takin' care of that. good girl," he gestures to the side, "these here are spark plugs - good to keep an eye on, because they can get dirty or worn out and cause the car to have trouble starting. these also look alright, though."

you're barely listening, though; your ears are buzzing heartbeat thumping as you school the flush over your cheeks at such a casual praise - something he'd probably not even think twice of, because you're his daughter's babysitter, god damn it, but you can't help the stirring deep within you. 

good girl. jesus.

you press your lips together and force yourself to relax, to calm the fluttering in your stomach the heat in your lower abdomen. eventually, Joel reaches the fuel pump - "here we go. I think this might be the culprit." he turns to you, squinting against the late afternoon sun, "if the fuel pump isn't working properly, it can prevent the engine from getting the fuel it needs to run." 

he gestures for you to look and leans back a bit; leaning over to peer into the belly of your car, at all its metal guts and ominous sputterings, you suddenly catch a scent - a mix of your handlotion you'd applied on the ride over with Joel's soap from his shower stuck to your skin and wafting in the air, a pleasant smell.

your stomach flutters as you try to follow Joel's explanation, "'kay...how can you tell it's the fuel pump that's the problem?" you ask him, turning to squint up at him. 

"there's-" another gentle breeze, then, and Joel pauses; you stare back at him, unsure what's caught his attention, but then it's over quicker than it started. blinking at you, he clears his throat and nods, pointing to the part, "there’s a few ways, but mainly if your car cranked out while drivin', or if it starts an' then stalls, it's often a sign of a fuel pump problem." he taps it with two fingers, "this one looks pretty worn out."

you bite your lip, cursing your ignorance and the stupidity of your ex for insisting on taking care of the car jut to completely ignore it and take it for an oil change only every few blue moons. 

"can it be fixed?" you can't hide the anxiety in your voice. 

"course." Joel nods, closing the hood; you don't flinch at the sound, too worried by the engine. "'m not quite good enough to do it myself, but i've got a buddy down in town that can do it for ya for cheap." he smiles gently, "should only be a few hundred." 

your throat dries, stomach dropping. "c-couple hundred?" you hiss, pressing your lips together. "okay."

okay.

okay: you can take a few more shifts at the library, double up your days; that's fine, that's fine. you'll have to fix your car before your cellphone, but you'll be fine without texting for a while. maybe you could sell your portable CD player or some clothes for some cash. okay, shit. 

shit. 

you laugh mirthlessly, "I... I don't have that kind of money right now." you say awkwardly, "but at least I live close to the bus stop." you add, wondering how much a bus pass is. certainly less than that. 

"-listen, i'd be happy to help you out with it," Joel says, and your hackles raise in embarrassment, "-no, Joel, I can't ask that of you. you've already done so much." you say, looking down at yourself, still clad in his flannel and pants. 

he shrugs, as if it's no big deal. "could pay you advance. let me help you." 

you swallow thickly, biting your lip. "I feel bad, Joel. I already put you out." 

"hey," he says, turning to look at you - he leans slightly on the hood of your car, gaze burning into the side of your face. you flush, but meet his eyes. "don't worry about it. I can pay you ahead for your work to cover for it. all you've put me out on is a few pancakes, a cup of coffee, and my patience with my brother."

the mention of Tommy makes you flush with embarrassment, floundering, "oh. Joel, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" 

he shakes his head, with a grin - he was teasing you. "Tommy's always been a flirt. I trust you can handle your own." he adds, "but you let me know if he's too much, yeah?"

something about his tone makes you even more flustered, though, and you grin, shrugging. "yeah. you'll be the first to know." you say, wondering how many people he's had to say that to in his life. 

he says nothing to this, but you clear your throat, looking at him, "um...thank you for your help. this morning, with the car- all of it." you say, smiling awkwardly, "i've had a hard time adjusting to a lot of recent...life changes and..." you feel like you're oversharing, so you stop short, "just. you've all been very kind to me." you finish. "i'm so thankful for this job." 

Joel watches you, gaze flickering between your eyes for a few moments before he nods, "'course, darlin'. life can throw some curveballs, huh?" he nudges your shoulder and as you sway back you can't help the soft smile that grows, hiding it as you look away. darlin'.  

"you're doing great, though. Sarah and I, we're glad to have you." he affirms. you smile into the metal of your car hood.

"let’s get your car started now, yeah?" he asks. 

you're sat in the driver's seat.

Joel leans through the window to hold down the switch on your steering wheel as you turn the keys, the small Tamagotchi on your keychain knocking against your wrist as he instructs you to pump the gas pedal. 

after a few tries the engine sputters to life; you let out a stuttered sigh of relief, smiling and letting out one small clap. 

Joel smiles, "there she is," he taps the dash above your steering wheel with the flat of his large palm, leaning slightly. as he turns to lean out the window, his eyes meet yours - face to face, he's much closer than either of you anticipated.

you're struck with the proximity; for a moment, his face is inches from yours. 

and then the moment stretches out, your heart skipping a beat - you can see the few freckles that have grown over the bridge of his strong nose, the way his breath leaves his lips, the smile lines and faint dimple, his eyelashes lit from the sun behind you. 

Joel clears his throat, stepping back from the window with a tap to the roof of your car. you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"alright, you’re all set. just drive carefully, okay? let the engine run for a few minutes when you get home."

you nod, voice softer than you hoped it'd be, "I will. thanks again, Joel."

he nods in that way he always does, the same nod that you always see in Sarah. "be safe. see you tomorrow."

Joel leans against his truck as you peel away, off the side of the road and joining the sparse few cars on the road, the remaining rainwater slicking against tires in the distance. you swear you see him wave before he slips up into the cab of the truck, figure growing smaller in your rearview with each passing moment. 

you let the car run when you return to your apartment, biting your lip dumbly and staring down at your ruined phone, at the warped message that sits on your screen.

 

Call me if you need a ride in the morning- Sarah and I can pick you up. 

Have a good night. Joel

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there is no longer a taglist; follow @tremendumnotifs to be notified when i post.

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[starlightazriel]

bad boy az part 5

warnings: 18+ , 16/18 age gap, angst, death, overdose, heartbreak, self loathing/sabotage, childhood trauma/abuse, drug addiction/abuse, dark rough az, degradation, smut

masterlist

Visiting my grandparents with a broken heart was like torture. Forced smiles and laughs at dinner, which they insisted had to be an outing every single night, since it wasnt often that we came to visit. Christmas dinner had been the only exception. I checked my cellphone relentlessly but there was absolutely no sign of him, not on social media, no texts... No calls... As if none of it had ever even happened, my only reminder that it was all in fact very real were the text conversations which I was now re reading over and over.

There was one particular day that I had been sick, and he sent me a photo of himself a bored solemn expression on his face, I had saved that one, not even believing how incredibly sexy he was. That someone that sexy was even talking to me, let alone fucking me.

you could have told me you were ditching today butterfingers. horrible without you.

im sick, im not ditching. it can't be that bad, you haven't even spoke to me at school all week azriel

i know im not good at saying how i feel but everything is better with you

I remembered the way my heart had nearly jumped out of my chest reading that. How could he say things like that but not want anything to do with a relationship with me? How could we have sex like that and him not feel anything for me?

Maybe it wasn't that, maybe he was just afraid of what he felt. I knew that he had been different around me, I knew that I had gotten a version of him that no one else did. Maybe he had just created that for me, maybe he just really needed help with his classes.

It didnt matter the reason. He was gone anyway, he had offered to be friends but ignored me, granted I had only sent one text, using every ounce of self control that I had not to call him our keep texting him until he gave me something, even if it was just to let me know that he was okay.

-

Azriel was out of his mind. He was spiraling. Nothing helped, nothing worked to get her out of his head. Sure, he could dull his senses enough not to feel anything, but whenever the substance of choice wore off it was always just her there. Her crying and puffy face, her eyes that showed him pure heartbreak, her first heart break, and he knew all too well how that felt.

Though for him it hadn't been a girl, it had been his mom, leaving him alone with his monster of a father. Saving herself but not taking him with her, for all she knew she could have been leaving her little boy to die. He remembered how his first heart break had felt like darkness consuming him, like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs, like no matter how hard he tried to swim up there was something holding him under water. And he did that to y/n. It was haunting almost every one of his thoughts, it made him feel sick to his stomach with guilt. And there was the fact that he missed her, more than anything or anyone that he had ever missed, more than he had missed his mother even in those first few years after she left.

The first night, he had gone to a rave with Rhys and Cass. They raved until 4 am, rolling on Molly, a sea of bodies and heat. He had fucked someone that night, figuring that if anything got his mind off of her it would be some new pussy. Of course that hadn't worked, and really it only made things worse since he had woken up to a text from her. im sorry for anything i said when i was drunk. maybe we can talk when i get back. He hadn't responded, feeling too guilty that he had fucked someone the very night after he broke her heart. While she had been thinking about him, thinking that she had done something wrong, he had been high out of his mind fucking some random in a dirty bathroom. But this was the very reason that he knew breaking it off was the right choice in the first place. He was and always would be a shit bag.

He had been at Rhys and Cass' place every day, they knew something was wrong with him but they didnt pry. They let him cope how he always did, skated with him at the indoor skate park til they were all battered and sore, drunk with him, partied with him, got stoned and high with him.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it? You've been dipping into your stash a lot, starting to get a little concerning," Rhys raises a brow, scaling out some weed into eighth bags. He hadn't realized how quiet he had been. He also hadn't necessarily realized that they'd noticed he was dabbling in substance just a little bit more than usual.

"Yeah, no Im good," he shrugs, rising to his feet, dusting off ashes that had collected on his clothing from smoking. "I should go," he bid them both goodbye before exiting the apartment.

He didnt miss the look of concern they exchanged between each other.

-

Azriel stood in the door way to his living room, almost frozen in shock. The tv was distant background noise even though the volume was almost all the way up. If he didnt know any better he thought the days of rolling were getting to his head and that he was hallucinating it.

His father was face down in vomit and broken glass, he must have fallen into the coffee table and shattered it when he passed out. He didnt have to check, the silence, the white noise buzzing in his ears to the point he almost couldn't hear anything else at all told him that his father was dead. He had probably been dead for hours based on the dryness at the edges of the pool of vomit underneath him.

He didnt feel an ounce of sadness, he didnt know how to feel really, right now, he thought it had to be pure shock. Azriel reached down and picked up a cigarette from a pack that head been on the floor, he lit it, staring down at his fathers body, thinking about every horrible thing he had put him through. The scene before him reminded him about a night when he was fourteen years old, he had stolen his dad's bottle of Jameson and drank the entire thing out of boredom. Rhys and Cass had been away that summer, so he remembered how horribly bored and how much trouble he had gotten into that year. He remembered being so sick never having drank that much before, he remembered throwing up on his hands and knees, his dad kicking him down into his own pile of vomit beneath him. He had watched him struggle to get up, time and time again, he would just laugh kick him down again until Azriel was so weak and dehydrated and physically exhausted, with nothing left in his system to vomit he had just dry heaved, laying there in his own throw up. "Lay there and think about what you did," his dad had growled while tying a thin piece of plastic around his upper arm in preparation to shoot up.

"Goodnight dad," Azriel smirked, letting out a small chuckle at the irony of the situation. He threw the cigarette butt into the center of the pool of vomit, watching it sizzle out. "Lay there and think about what you did," he says and turns before retreating upstairs to his room. His fathers body would be a tomorrow issue.

-

Before the police had come, Azriel gathered every bit of paraphanelia and all of his drug money that was hidden under the floor boards and stuffed everything into a bag that went into his trunk. He knew he wasnt a suspect or anything, the town cops were well acquainted with his father and it was an easy open and shut overdose case. Still, he didnt want to risk getting bagged for something else when they were collecting evidence.

Azriel sat on the porch now, smoking a cigarette while he watched the paramedics haul his dad's black plastic wrapped body into the ambulance to be taken to the morgue, a bored expression on his face. He felt more empty than he had in a long time, he didnt know if it was the fact that he had been doing ecstasy for almost the entire week, the fact that he had found his father dead and overdosed the night before, or if it was the fact that he couldn't just pick up his phone and call y/n anymore.

He had been asked to do a news piece. Of course they were covering his deadbeat, nothing father's death on the local news. In a small town like this they had to cover everything for there to be anything to talk about. He had obviously declined, though he knew they would still use his fathers name, probably show his house... "Chief, I gotta get outta here," Azriel had tossed the cigarette off of his porch and was standing now, his hands shoved into the pocket of his hoodie.

"Youre good Azriel, just leave the door open for evidence and the hazmat team," the place chief nods and Azriel retreats to his room, packing his things to stay at Rhys and Cass' place for a few nights. Death was like a blanket that now covered his entire house, and he couldn't handle it.

-

Returning to school was just as miserable as being at my grandparents house. There was a buzz in the air about something, I didnt bother to try and figure out what it was. Nothing besides grades and Azriel really mattered anymore, even though the latter was only an empty hole in my chest at this point. I didnt expect to see him at school, I knew he would probably skip the first few days, and even if he didnt I knew I was the last person he wanted to see.

"Y/n," Maggie says a little breathlessly, jogging up to my locker at the end of the day. "Ive literally been looking for you all day, did you hear about Azriel?" she asks, my head snaps to the side, my eyes landing on hers. She knew about everything that happened with Azriel and her stance was that all boys are the same and he was just afraid to commit. No matter how many times I tried to tell her that Azriel wasn't like anyone else, she didn't listen.

"What happened?" I asked quickly, immediately assuming the worst, jail, car accident. I should have paid more attention to the gossip earlier.

"He found his dad... Like dead, in his house, drug overdose, you didnt hear?" she says, her brows furrowing slightly. "Literally like two or three days ago. It's so fucked, have you talked to him?" she asks, I just blink a few times, staring back at her. The thought of Azriel finding his dad like that made my gut twist, I wanted to cry.

"Um, no," I said quietly, hugging my text book to my chest. "He's still not speaking to me," I tack on quietly, now feeling guilty for not trying to reach out again. "I gotta go Maggie, thanks for letting me know," I close my locker, turning toward the door.

"Are you okay?" she asks, I could feel her watching after me, I turn my head back to give her a reassuring nod.

"I'm fine."

-

I knocked on Azriels door after school every day for three days straight. He didnt come to school, he didnt call, he didnt text, despite the number of texts I had now sent him. It was a new day now, Thursday and still he wasnt at school, so I took the familiar route to his house and knocked on his door three times. My heart leapt when the door swung open only a few moments later, my lips parted in surprise when it wasnt Azriel there, but a woman.

"Can I help you sweetie?" She was middle aged, wrinkles forming around her eyes and corners of her mouth. Tan skin and black hair like Azriels, and that wasnt the only thing they shared. She had Azriels eyes. Those beautiful, pooling, mysterious hazel eyes.

His mother?

"I-" I stuttered softly, staring up at her. "I was just looking for Azriel," I finally manage to get out.

"Well that makes two of us," she says and clicks her tongue. "Ive contacted the school, and he hasn't been there, police say I can't file a missing persons yet because he's eighteen-" she rambled before stopping herself. "Come in, it's freezing," she adds but I shake my head.

"Oh, no that's okay thank you. Ive got to get home," I swallow hard, turning away from her, I hear her bidding me goodbye and I only wave in response, not turning back around.

-

Azriels brows furrow in confusion at the silver, new looking car in his drive way when he returns later that night to grab fresh clothes and take a good shower. He planned to stay home that night, needing a bed instead of a couch, his back was aching. Not that he had been sleeping much, he was doing too much molly, he hadn't gotten a good nights sleep since the last night he had slept with y/n which had been weeks ago now, since he stupidly hadnt taken his chance to sleep next to her one last time after she declared her love. He had been too afraid.

He was sure though, that she didn't really love him, she loved the way that he fucked her, the way he ate her pussy, maybe even the way he looked. But he wasn't lovable, someone like her couldn't just love someone like him.

He pushes the door to his house open and cautiously walks in, stopping in his tracks when he sees his mother sitting at the counter. He turns around, looks back again, rubs his eyes once. Surely this was a hallucination. She was quiet, surveying him, after eleven years he had changed a lot, he wasn't the little boy that she had left. He was tall now, built, covered in tattoos.

"What are you doing here? What do you want? Cuz' there's sure as fuck no inheritance or will if that's what you're after," he practically spits, coldly, as he surveyed her as well. This was real, it was very real. He noted the wedding bands on her finger, and nearly laughed out loud. She winces at his tone and aggression, rising to her feet as she continues to stare at her son that she hadn't seen in so long.

"Ive been waiting for you all day. I came to see if you needed any help with the funeral or if you wanted to come stay with me and your sisters-"

"Just stop there, because they are not my sisters. You are not my family. I don't want to see you, I don't want you here," eleven years of anger was coursing through him. How dare she come here. How dare she show her face here like everything was just normal. Guilt flashes across her face and her throat bobs as she clutches her bag in her hand.

"I am sorry Azriel. I was young... I made a mistake-"

"It's too late for any of that. Im grown now," he scoffs, watching as tears threaten to fall from her eyes. He didnt feel the least bit guilty, he hoped that she suffered from her choices. "You left me here to die, you only cared about yourself. You promised a seven year old boy that you would come back for him and you never did. Do you know how many times he almost killed me?" the words were flowing from him and he wasnt sure if it was the lack of serotonin from too much x or if it was simply all the pent up anger and aggression that he had. She just stood in stunned silence, silent tears running down her face. "You come back now? Like that makes anything better? Thinking what? That I would run into your arms and away into the sunset with you and your new family?" He walked to the door, opening it for her and jerking his head toward it. "I don't know why you would come here, you're sick for even thinking that it was a good idea. And Im sick looking at you, get the fuck out of my house," he growls quietly, and she stares back at him opening her mouth to say something else but realizes there was nothing she could say that would ever make him forgive her.

He slammed the door shut behind him, his lungs felt like they were caving, his chest physically ached from the emotional turmoil. Seeing his mother was far more painful than his dads dead body days ago. He noticed though, that with the pain, there was some sort of closure he felt from screaming all those things at her.

He knew that he should go back to Rhys and Cass' place, he knew he shouldn't stay here, especially after that. He shouldn't be alone right now, but being alone was what he did best. It was easier than anything else.

-

The next day after school, I had been much more hesitant when I walked toward Azriels door. I noted his car in front though, which made my heart leap, my stomach churned with nerves.

Something had unsettled me about Azriels mother being there. Something felt wrong about seeing her there yesterday. There wasnt exactly much I knew about Azriels childhood. I knew it was abusive, I knew she left, I knew that he didnt deserve any of what he went through. I knew it tortured him more deeply than he let on, no one in the world was that strong. I hoped she wasnt there again today. I needed to talk to him, I needed to get him to myself, there was so much I wanted to say to him, though, I didnt know if I would really have the courage once we were face to face.

I knocked three times, just like I had yesterday, I waited a few minutes, knocked two more times. "Im fuckin coming, damn," his voice sends my heart soaring and my gut reeling. He swings open the door, and my eyes instantly meet his, he's surprised, I can tell that much. But his eyes are distant, besides the slight surprise he's not wearing any emotion besides maybe exhaustion, his normally tan skin is slightly pale, dark circles ringing the bottom of his eyes. "Y/n, I didnt realize it was you. Im- Im sorry," I wonder if he's as much at a loss for words as I am.

Worry gnawed at me as I stared up at him. I couldn't see any light there, he didnt look okay. He clears his throat expectantly and I realize that I haven't said a single word. "Im sorry you found your dad," I blurt out before swallowing the lump that was growing in my throat. I didnt exactly think that Im sorry for your loss was the right thing to say in this scenario, I knew Azriel better than that. I had seen the hatred burn behind his eyes when talking about his father.

Azriel softens only the tiniest bit, he lets out a small sigh, "did you want to come in?" He asks, stepping aside so that I could walk in. I found myself wondering where Azriel had found him, less than a week ago someone died in here. I tried not to think about it too much. "Sorry about the mess," he mutters, shutting the door before nodding toward the stairs, I walk the familiar path toward his room and the sight of his room makes my stomach turn as I recalled how clean it had been the first time I saw it.

Definitely not okay. There were clothes everywhere, random pills on random surfaces, some crushed up and some still whole, if it hadn't of been for the few random pizza boxes I would have thought he wasnt eating at all, there were empty liquor bottles, some paperwork strewn about that probably had to do with the funeral... It was bad, I felt sick. I swallowed a lump in my throat and turned, he seemed so distant, so unfazed. Was he on something?

"Azriel..." I whispered, he stared back at me, reading my expression before shaking his head.

"Don't say anything butterfingers," I take a step toward him, he visibly tenses which makes me hesitate. I just wanted to run to him. I wanted to take all of his pain away, I almost didnt even recognize myself anymore... When had I even started caring about things other than school? Of course I was still at the very top of my class, but I was so damn distracted these days... His eyes drift to my lips and my cheeks flush slightly, I was so damn nervous, the last time I saw him he had ripped my heart out of my chest. "Come here," his voice is husky, almost a whisper, his eyes are still jaded and dark. It almost scares me, the way he's looking at me. I advance slowly toward him my fingers shaking, breaths ragged.

"You want me to fuck you don't you?" he turns his chin up, looking down his nose at me, his words are rough now, a little louder and more forceful as he looks me up and down, my lips part in surprise, at a loss for words. "You just can't stay away can you?" he chuckles softly, and he grabs my face roughly, forcing me to look up and fully meet his gaze, I gasp in surprise, making him huff out another amused breath. Adrenaline courses through me and I can't tell if Im more afraid or more turned on, my heart pounds wildly against my chest as I stare up at him. "You just want my cock, stuffing you all night making you scream," he moves his fingers down, gripping my throat now, his long fingers lightly squeezing. I moaned quietly, gasping for breath.

"They do say it's always the quiet ones, the shy ones," he snickered softly, I felt so small underneath him. He squeezed a little tighter, the way he was looking at me. He was so cold, angry even. Did he really believe that's all I wanted from him? Did he really think I didnt mean it when I told him I loved him? "You like the way I fuck you don't you? You like the way I eat your pussy while you cum over and over again? My greedy little slut," his voice rattled through me, I couldn't speak, I only whimpered in response as he pushed me down roughly onto the couch. My body buzzed, my pussy aching with need for him, I didnt care how he was treating me. I didnt care about anything except the fact that I could have him again.

"Is this what you want?" he asks, shoving my face into the arm of the couch, I moaned softly as he ripped my shirt down, my nipples rubbing against the rough fabric of the sofa. My pants are next, and he rips them down with such force I have to hang on tightly to the couch to brace myself. He grips my hips tightly, not even bothering to get me fully undressed. I cry out as he slams his cock into me, filling me all the way up without so much as a warning. Yes, this was exactly what I wanted... What I had been needing. Him. Filling me, close to me, panting over me. "I fucking missed you," he admits, his fingers digging into my hip bones as he fucks me harder than he ever had. I cried out in pleasure, the feelings of pain and pleasure mixing in the best of ways.

"Azriel," I moaned, feeling closer and closer as he pounded into me so deliciously deep. Hes rough, hands needy and gripping me hard, I knew I would be covered in bruises. It felt too damn good to worry about anything. "Oh yes," I moaned again, my body going limp as I came all over him. He lets out a long low groan, continuing to fuck me with everything he had before he collapses on top of me. We lay like that in silence for a few long minutes as we catch our breath, my heart is still racing, nerves churning as I didnt even know how to feel or what to say.

"Are you okay?" I finally break the silence, I instantly regret it as the second I do he's off of me, pulling his pants back up and tucking himself away.

"Im fine, I'll give you a ride," he says coolly and a lump rises in my throat as I scramble to get dressed. It felt like the room was spinning.

"I thought maybe we could hang out or-"

"I told you y/n I can't have a relationship with you, you want to have sex with me, I gave you what you wanted. Im sorting shit out right now. I can't give you anything else," he shrugs, looking down at me now, I could see his mask. I could see he was putting on a face, no matter how well he could fool everyone else.. I could see the cracks.

I didnt hold back when I screamed at him.

"You're fucking scared Azriel!" I wanted to throw something at him, I wanted to hurt him, embarrass him like he had just done to me. No matter how much I had enjoyed it he had just degraded me and fucked me and was now trying to kick me out. "You do this to yourself! You're so fucking afraid of feeling something besides hate or anger that you just push it all away and look at you now I mean what the fuck are you doing? You're doing all kinds of pills and shit every day now? Now you're acting like your father. You are your own worst fucking enemy Azriel," I cry out watching him wince at my words, visibly flinch like they had dealt him a blow.

I knew I was cruel, I knew the things I said were horrible and hateful but I hadn't been able to help myself. Not after he treated me like that.

-

a/n ooooops lol thoughts????

[ofspacecrafts]

Tommy’s helicopter goes down the day Bobby is reinstated as Captain.

Christopher is home, Hen and Karen have Mara back, Gerard and Ortiz are fired, Maddie and Chim are having another baby and Bobby is back.

And Buck is in love. He’s never been happier, everything is back to normal, everything is right & it feels the perfect time to finally tell Tommy.

Then they get the call. A chopper just crashed after dropping suppressant near the canyon.

He sees Bobby’s face and he already knows.

Bobby puts a hand on his shoulder. “He’s alert and communicating, we’re going to get him out.”

Buck nods. “ I know I am.”

On the way there they try radioing Tommy but now there’s no response.

The dread builds but he’s breathing through it. All he needs to do is get there.

When they get there they see the helicopter smashed into the side of a rock formation , smoke billowing out of the top.

Buck starts gearing up immediately. Bobby stands in front of him. “I’m going to let you do this. I trust you to do this.” he says softly. “But if at any point I change my mind , I will pull you out.”

Bobby gives orders. Buck and Eddie are repelling down to the crash site with the saws and jaws,

Ravi isn’t far behind, trying to help put out the small fire that’s building around them.

Buck sprints to the pilot side door and he sees him slumped over the controls . Eddie is on the other side where a groggy Lucy is staring up at them.

They work quick to get the doors open but the smoke is getting thicker. “I knew you’d come get your man, Buckley.” Lucy says with a sleepy smile as Eddie drags her out.

Buck hears his door come open with a loud creak.

He quickly grabs Tommy under his arms and pulls him out. He places him gently on the ground.

Buck checks his pulse and calls him name. Tommy blinks , blood dripping from his head. “Ev-Evan?”

Buck sighs with relief and grabs his hand. Hen is behind him with a gurney and the backup medevac is landing,

Bobby gives him an approving nod and tells him to go with them.

It’s not until later at the hospital while they’re running tests that Buck feels like he can’t breathe, he tilts his head back and tries to take a breath. He feels the tears hot on his cheeks before he even realizes he’s crying.

Hen is next to him , putting her hand on his knee. “He’s going to be ok, Buck. He’s going to be ok because of you.”

The tests all come back clear but they keep him overnight to be safe.

Buck refuses to leave so Bobby offers to pick them up in the morning.

They’re waiting in the hallway while the nurse gives Tommy paperwork.

“Buck, I’m proud of you , you know that ?” Bobby says. Buck looks at him and realizes there’s tears in his eyes . “I meant it when I said you’ve come a long way, son.”

Inspired by this and this .

Linked posts by : @asraindarkness @peppermintquartz @buckevantommy @unfuckablebogtroll

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Me or him (part 3)

~part 1 & part 2

pairing: felix x afab!reader x hyunjin

genre: angst, smut

word count: 2.6k

warning/s: swearing, brief description of sex, cheating, lots of drama & angst in this chapter, brief description of a panic attack, toxic behaviour, lots of fighting

a/n: i was supposed to work on cult of love but i was in an angsty mood, so enjoy ig and please reblog if you like it🫶🏻 (also this is not the ending of this fic, there will be more)

~check out my: Masterlist

Hyunjin knows that Felix has always been a touchy-feely guy. He knows it's the way his friend expresses love. And he's used to it.

But he couldn't help but notice the lingering touches between his girlfriend and his best friend. Even though all three of you are friends, it seemed that gradually, hugs between you and Felix were tighter and longer.

He told himself that he's just imagining things and that there is no way there would ever be anything like that happening between the two of you.

Not when you're smiling at him so beautifully, bathed in the afternoon sun, wearing your pretty dress as you share a picnic blanket.

Hyunjin's hands itch to take out his sketchbook and fill it with yet another sketch of you, the lines and curves etched into his mind so deep that he could draw you in his sleep.

But he longs more to feel you closer to him so while you bask in the beauty of the nature around you, he sneakily sits behind you, arms around your waist as he pulls you into his embrace.

You shriek in surprise, your back flush against his chest as he leans his chin on your shoulder.

"What are you doing?"- you chuckle.

"I wanna hold you a little while, before I start sketching you."- Hyunjin smiles, gently moving your hair to the other side.

You're about to answer something witty but Hyunjin's lips are pressed into your skin, right over your pulse that reveals your heart beating fast.

"Oh..."- is all that leaves your lips as your boyfriend kisses you gently and holds you tight.

Your eyes are closed and you tilt your head, enjoying the quiet and the warmth.

You're about to lose yourself when Hyunjin suddenly pulls away.

"Why'd you stop?"- you whine and he laughs cutely and annoyingly at your pouty face.

"We can continue this at home."- he smirks and kisses your cheek.

And you don't think about Felix.

Until you do. Until he somehow creeps into your mind while Hyunjin sketches you. And you wonder what he's doing right now and if he's thinking about you too.

And you also wonder why are you thinking about another man when all you need to be happy is right here with you, your sweet boyfriend Hyunjin who always tries his best and loves you more than you know?

-

You and Hyunjin stumble into your apartment, giddy with the good vibes you shared on your picnic date. You're laughing until you almost choke on your spit when you see Felix standing in your living room.

"Ugh... I let myself in. Hope y'all don't mind."

Right. He knows where the spare key is hidden.

"Lix! Oh my god, I haven't seen you in weeks!"- Hyunjin is quick to greet his friend and you feel like your legs are heavy. Like you've grown roots and you can't move from where you're standing.

"Yeah, sorry, I was working on some projects."- Felix says and looks at you, his arms opening up, silently beckoning you in a hug.

You move towards him automatically and pat him awkwardly. Hyunjin watches the whole interaction.

"Hi, y/n."- Felix smiles like nothing is wrong. "I brought brownies."- he adds, pointing to the kitchen.

"Oh we haven't had those in a long time. I missed them actually."- Hyujin says and almost skips to the kitchen. Little does he know you've had those brownies for breakfast more times than you can count.

You throw daggers at Felix with your eyes while Hyunjin is busy digging into the tupperware his friend brought.

Felix gives you a smug smile before it melts into his innocent one.

"I thought we could hang out today. I'm sorry I didn't call in advance. I just wanted to surprise you guys."- he says.

"Nonsense! You're always welcome here, Lix."- Hyunjin says. "Right, y/n?"

"Yeah, ofcourse."- you nod.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom."- Hyunjin gets up and leaves the kitchen.

You wait and listen for the bathroom door to click.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"- you whisper to Felix, fuming at his presence in your apartment.

"Me? Nothing. I'm here just to hang out with my friends. Is that not allowed?"- he smirks.

"What are you planning?"- you squint, your heart beating fast in anger, hands already starting to shake.

"Nothing. But, I must say. You look really pretty in that dress. How come you never wear dresses for me?"- Felix bites on his lip, giving you the elevator eyes.

"Why would I wear dresses for you?"- you say through gritted teeth.

"You're really hot when you're mad."- he whispers, reaching his hand to touch your face but you grab his wrist mid-air.

"Don't touch me."- you say angrily, and both of you step away from each other as you hear Hyunjin coming back.

Felix just smirks at you again.

And even though you tried to get out of it, make just the two of them hang out or somehow make Felix leave, you ended up sitting on the couch between them.

Hyunjin suggested a movie night, and Felix was ofcourse all for it and that's how you ended up practically cuddled between them.

Your brain is racing, heart beating out of your chest as Hyunjin leans his head on your shoulder and comments on the movie, completely unaware of Felix's wandering hand under the blanket.

You couldn't believe he was this bold. Hyunjin was not even an arm's length away from him and Felix somehow managed to sneak his hand on your thigh.

At first, you jumped a little and Hyunjin asked if you were alright and you made some poor excuse as Felix squeezed your plushy flesh.

You hated how it made you feel, how any touch by him, even if it was feather-like made your core throb. Felix knew exactly what he was doing.

So, you decided to excuse yourself and go to bed.

Hyunjin kept asking if you were alright and you kept answering that you were just tired.

-

You weren't tired, no far from that. You were turned on by Felix touching you while Hyunjin was right there. What the hell is wrong with you?, you think.

"Baby, you okay?"- Hyunjin peers into your room.

"Did Lix leave?"- you ask.

"He did."- Hyunjin says and comes in, closing the door behind him. "Are you mad at him or something?"- he cautiously asks, kneeling behind you as you lay wrapped up in your blanket.

"No... I just wanted us to have the day to ourselves."- you say.

"Aw baby, I'm all yours now, I promise."- Hyunjin leans over you, kissing your head. "You still tired or you wanna continue where we left off today?"- he smirks, wiggling his eyebrows and you chuckle at him as you turn to look at him.

"Remind me where we left off."- you tease and Hyunjin grips your blanket, slowly pulling it down and leaving you just in a shirt and panties.

He leans in and kisses your neck, his hands splayed on your hips as you spread your legs to make room for him.

You try hard to not think about anything or anyone else, as Hyunjin's gentle hands caress your skin, his lips hot against you, worshipping you with all he has.

You're still trying, when Hyunjin's deep inside you, touching spots no one else has, when he whispers praise and love into your ear. Your head is thrown back, eyes closed and you clench around him.

"Ah- Felix!"- lost in the pleasure, it slips out of your lips and you both freeze.

"What did you just say?"- Hyunjin stops his movement and your eyes snap open.

"What did I say?"- you hope he hasn't heard you. You hope you hadn't said it actually, maybe you just thought of it.

"Why the hell would you moan Felix's name?"- Hyunjin asks, slipping out of you, his face unreadable.

"I- I don't know, Hyun! It slipped out! We were hanging out with him earlier and-" -you scramble to sit up.

"Bullshit! We hung out with him a million times before and you've never moaned his name while were making love."- Hyunjin stands up, clearly mad.

"Hyunjin, it's not what you think-"

"And what is it I'm thinking y/n? Why don't you enlighten me?"

"I-"

"I can't do this right now."- Hyunjin shakes his head, picking some of his clothes up.

"Where are you going?"- you ask, eyes already welling up with tears.

"To clear my head, before I do shit I'll regret."- he says and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

You can't believe you just did that. You can't believe you moaned your lovers name right into your boyfriend's face.

Your heart starts racing as your stomach churns. Your breaths become laboured and your hands shake. You feel like you're slipping into a panicked state, unable to even see because of the tears blurring your vision.

Your hand reaches out for your phone and you shakily manage to go into your contacts and click on his name.

"F-Felix?"- your ears are buzzing.

"Y/n?"- he answers.

"Where a-are you?"- you barely choke out, a sob escaping your lips.

"I'm home. Where are you? What's wrong?!"- he sounds concerned.

"I... I made a mistake. Hyunjin left. Please. Please come see me. I think - I think I'm gonna have a panic attack."- you somehow manage to say.

"Fuck, okay I'll be right there. Just, just stay with me on the phone, okay? Just try and take deep breaths together with me, hm?"- you hear rustling, and him slamming the door of his apartment, you assume.

"Okay, I'll try."- you say, tears now freely streaming down your cheeks as you still sit in bed, clutching the blanket that is wrapped around your shaking body.

"I'll drive as fast as I can, okay?"- he says.

"Be safe."- you say, and Felix's hands grip the wheel harshly as he hits the gas.

"Sure."- he says. "Now, let's try and take those deep breaths in."

-

Felix arrives in less than twelve minutes, you hear his hurried footsteps running from the door to your room.

"Y/n?"- he calls out as he walks in and you look up at him, still in the same spot you were in when Hyunjin stormed out.

You can't really talk as you sob and hiccup and Felix rushes to your side, grabbing your shaking hands.

"What happened?"- he asks and you shake your head.

"It's okay, I'm here."- Felix sighs sadly, pulling you into his embrace, your hands grip his shirt and you bury your face into his chest and keep crying.

He's caressing your head, shushing you and whispering comforting words like he always does.

You manage to calm down a little after a few minutes.

"Can you tell me what happened now?"- Felix asks quietly, his hands coming up to wipe away your tears.

"I fucked up. I fucked up bad."

"What did you do?"- he asks, taking your hands in his once again.

"I- I accidentally said your name while Hyunjin and I were- you know-"

"Oh. Oh."- Felix looks stunned.

"He was so mad, Lix. Like he already knew something."

"What did he say?"

"He said he needs to clear his head before he does something he'll regret."- you say.

"Look, I'm not gonna lie and say I wouldn't be glad if the two of you broke up. But, I'm also your friend and I don't want you to be hurt."

"It's too late. I already hurt myself, it's all my fault."- you start crying again.

"Shh, I'm at fault too. You're not alone in this, y/n."- Felix says as he holds your face and leans in to kiss you and you let him.

You don't know why but you always let him. Your brain and your body find comfort in Felix, even though it's wrong. Even if he's using you in your fucked up state.

A voice inside you tells you he isn't just using you and that's probably why you can never push him away.

Not even when the bedroom doors open and you hear Hyunjin scoff.

Felix and you practically fly away from each other, startled by the sound.

"Hyunjin!"- you freak out as Felix stands up from the bed.

"I can't believe I was right. After everything, both of you put a knife in my back."- Hyunjin eyes the both of you, something distant and cold in his usually warm eyes.

"Hyunjin it's not-"

"Shut up, you cheating whore!"- he loses it suddenly.

"Don't talk to her like that!"- Felix intervenes.

"Or what? You gonna hit me after you fucked my girlfriend, huh best friend?"

Felix shuts his mouth, guilt finally catching up to him as a lump forms in his throat.

"How long have you two been going behind my back? Just answer me that."- Hyunjin breathes deeply, his ears and neck painted red in rage.

"A year or so."- you answer quietly.

"A year- Okay. Well. I'm done with the both of you. Don't even bother trying to explain or contact me. I'll send someone to pick my stuff up from here cause I don't ever wanna see your faces again. You two are disgusting and you deserve each other. Now you can enjoy together without me being in the way of your happiness."- Hyunjin spits and you can see tears forming in his eyes but he turns around quickly before either of you can react and he's gone.

Hyunjin is gone.

Rage bubbles up inside you, you're mad. You're mad at your poor decision making, at your weakness, you're mad at throwing away a good thing, you're mad at Felix but mostly at yourself.

Still, you take it out on him.

You get up and grab some of your clothes as Felix watches you getting dressed quickly.

"Are you happy now, Felix?"- you say angrily.

"Me? Oh, so now this is all my fault."- he throws his hands up angrily.

"It's not but you said you'd be happy if Hyunjin and I broke up. Are you happy now?"

"I didn't say that exactly. But, I'm also not exactly sad. I'm only worried about you."

"You don't get to worry about me."- you say, shaking with anger.

"W-what do you mean? What about us?"- his voice wavers.

"Us? There is no us, Felix. There never was and there never will be."

"Don't - don't say that. You don't mean that."- Felix looks pained. Your heart hurts because of everything. You can't take it. You can't look at him. Not right now.

"What, you thought I'd jump into your arms the moment Hyunjin steps out?"

"You don't have a problem jumping into my arms any time you feel like it."- Felix crosses his arms.

"What does that mean?"

"What I said. You call me. I always answer. You invite yourself to my apartment. I always let you in. You need a shoulder to cry on, you always lean on me. You need someone to fuck your sadness away, so I let you use me. Did you ever ask if I needed support? A shoulder to cry on? Did you ever ask how I feel?"- he's angry now, his lips trembling.

"Don't make this about you."- you say.

"No, because everything is about you. And I still want to stay next to you. Even if you're being selfish, I'd take it. I'd take any crumb you give me, like a fucking stray dog."- Felix says angrily.

"That sounds like your problem and not mine. I don't want you here. Not anymore. I want you to leave."- you say coldly.

"Really? You don't... You don't care about me at all?"

You don't answer, turning your back to him as your eyes water again.

"Goodbye, Felix."

Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @yongbokkiesworld @selinia86 @xxkhxndlelitexx @hash2013

[cattimeswithjellie]

Excerpt from Doc's 6/23 Stream Recap

I'm going to bed early tonight because I stayed up recapping til 4am last night, so I'm not going to finish this stream until tomorrow. Enjoy this unhinged little sequence from Doc's Sunday stream this week.

43:30 Doc forgets the inherent peril of every GoodTimesWithScar build and gets severely jumpscared by the creeper that sneaks up behind him. He’s not hurt but the front yard of Poe Poe HQ has lost some landscaping. Doc thinks that vandalizing Poe Poe HQ might not be the best move for a guy in his legal position, and it seems like the “SUE TODAY” banner on the courthouse might just be mocking him. He remembers that Scar’s building supplies chest monster hasn’t been picked up yet and goes to rummage through it for extra booshes. He finds some, but comes very, very, very close to blowing up Scar’s entire chest monster when another creeper pays a visit.

44:40 Doc uses freecam to show the now-underground broken rainbow beacon, buried under the road between the courthouse and the police station. The metaphor would be unbearably heavy-handed if it weren’t also obviously accidental. Doc replaces the destroyed bushes and takes a look at Poe Poe HQ by daylight, declaring it a really cool build. He laughs at the enormous POE sign and is confused by the sand countdown clock. Chat tells him it is counting down to the enforcement of the rule against popup shops in the shopping district. Doc wonders who made this, even as he finds a trapdoor with a sign reading “Ultra Redstoners Only.” Deciding he is definitely in that club, he enters without hesitation to check out the guts of the countdown machinery. He studies it for a moment and asks in complete befuddlement “Who _made_ this?” Hearing from Chat that it was Scar does explain a lot. Doc decides he had better leave before the redstone drives him insane.

46:40 Time to go back and work on interior design again. Doc does not want to do his interior design. He bemoans the fact that he got himself into a quarrel with Cleo, who would’ve been the perfect Hermit to tap for all the armor stand work he needs done but is now mad at him. He decides he should wander around and look for design ideas from other shops, because he is so uninspired. Chat suggests Joel has great interiors, so does Pearl. Doc admires Joel’s octopus but does not want one in his armor trim boutique. Chat thinks the octopus is amazing. Doc tells Chat they are useless. Chat doesn’t care; they want to go look at the Lizzie statue at Joel’s base. A chatter says they heard Doc was going to play Stardew Valley and is excited about it; Doc tells them he has played Stardew Valley through three times already. He’s exploited everything exploitable in that game and even made a tutorial for finding rare fish; Stardew Valley has nothing left for him.

49:00 Doc looks around in the honey shop for decoration ideas, but is disappointed to find no armor stand work to get inspired by. Chat wants to hear the song. Doc is unenthusiastic but plays the song. He goes on an entire facial journey as Chat grooves to the “Honey, Honey, Honey” song. “Jesus Christ,” Doc says. This puts Joel at the top of the suspect list as far as Doc is concerned. Anyone who could come up with that song is clearly capable of anything.

[senseofnewness]

thinking ab toxic relationship w patrick cause i love angst. like yeah he's ur bf but he's constantly checking out other girls and telling u about them too . but like its ok and u forgive him cause you're really really in love with him(i love pathetic reader tbh)

like he just does. the shittiest things ever. but u always forgive him :((((

i need more therapy than i already have because i would die for this

listen

There was no doubt that you loved Patrick, you always had. But the present was not the past and things weren't like they used to.

In the beginning, when your eyes first locked, an unstoppable force drew you together. The attraction was raw, almost animalistic, a primal hunger neither of you had experienced before. You had craved him like you had never craved anyone before. And so you had him, in the club's bathroom, in the back seat of his car, in every room of your apartment. His taste lingered on your tongue, a constant reminder of the brief minutes that separated each fervent encounter. The thrill of exploring each other's bodies for the first time was intensified by the secrecy, the illicit affair that shadowed every touch. Patrick had someone waiting for him at home, a girlfriend who unknowingly played a major role in the dampness between your legs. There was a thrilling excitement in knowing that he had a woman who could meet his needs, yet he still desired you above all.

But everything had changed when she had found out about you and dumped his ass.

For Patrick, asking you out was a natural progression, born from the countless hours spent in post-coital bliss, dreaming and discussing a future together. He savored every moment by your side, loving the fact that you were so willing to please him in anyway. His little toy to play with.

'Once a cheater, always a cheater. Good luck, bitch.' She had sent you. You ignored it. It was different with you, it was love.

Now the fire that once defined your relationship had dulled. Life got in the way. With work consuming your time, you could no longer join him on tour and let him release his frustrations on you. Though he always returned to you, things had changed. You sensed you were no longer enough, unable to meet all his needs. It began with casual comments about girls he met : how pretty and fun they were. Then he started mentioning how firm their asses were and how plump their breasts felt. That was where you had drawn the line. You had screamed and cried, and he had apologized, his head between your legs, whispering polished words about how you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. And how they had nothing on you.

It had only taken a few days for him to get back at it. And you had ignored it because while he was talking about other women, he was still fucking YOU, no one else. And if he was telling you about it, it meant that he wasn't hiding anything.

Then you had caught him smirking at his phone, the same smirk that had first captivated you across the club. You had to know what lay behind it. Once he had fallen asleep, you had taken his phone and discovered hundreds of sexts. Furious, you had slapped him awake. He had apologized, claiming it had been only words, insisting he had been faithful to you. It had just been a way to keep himself occupied when you were away, a distraction from his loneliness. He had sworn he could never fuck another pussy than yours.

Until he could. One day, he had managed to persuade you to invite over that ball girl he had been talking to you about. The one with the nice thighs. It had ended up in bed. Despite not being into girls, you had said yes because as long as you were present, it wasn't cheating. So you had obliged, watching him slam himself balls deep into another girl while she pleasured you. You had detested the sensation between your legs and resented the feeling in your guts. Eventually, you had excused yourself to the bathroom to throw up. There you had burst into tears while hearing their moans through the door. He sounded the same when he was with you and it crushed you. When she had left, he had whispered repeatedly in your ear how much he loved you and how no one could ever be as perfect for him as you. You hated how those tender moments seemed to justify all the pain. A part of Patrick, however flawed, felt infinitely better than a life without him. It was all worth it.

He had done it again. With another girl. Except now you weren't really involved anymore. You knew he had fucked every tight little cunt he had encountered and wasn't even hiding it. Each time he returned to your arms, he reeked of sex, his body still marked by the traces of another encounter, the scent of swear clinging to his skin and the remnants of another girl's juices matted in his pubic hair. You had cried once more, but he had dismissed your fears as paranoia. When you threatened to leave, he had promised to change, to be faithful, vowing never to make you cry again. For a moment, you wondered whether he found solace in manipulating and humiliating you. Then, a reassuring thought crossed your mind : he was your Patrick, and he would never intentionally hurt you.

But he did, when after fucking you, he had asked you :

"I think we should have an open relationship, what do you think?"

Was the guilt consuming him from the inside? Did he suffer from his lies as much as you did?

"I'd do anything for you." You hated yourself for it. You could feel yourself completely fade. You were now only the woman Patrick wanted you to be.

Except you would never let another man fuck you, you belonged to him only.

But now, at least, he wasn't technically cheating on you.

[nanivinsmoke]

✩ The Assistant.

✩ endeavor x assistant!f!reader

we all want to have him as our boss and fuck him, right?

✩ warnings & tags: it’s endeavor and im writing it, so you know there’s a bunch of hot sex involved. size difference, small age gap, creampie, pussy smacks, oral, semi-public sex, domination, established affair (enji’s seperated, but not divorced), implied sadism, breeding (possibility of a child).

there you were, underneath your boss’s mahogany colored desk; shoving his fat, can shaped cock further down your throat. eyes watering as he fills your mouth to the brim.

the number one hero tried his hardest to not throw his head back and let out a groan, while you devoured his cock. but, the way you handled his balls and sucked him like he was a cherry tootsie pop; made it harder for him and he quickly let out a thick load deep into your mouth.

a loud groan left his throat and his thighs quickly clench around your head; almost suffocating you while he cums. your eyes roll back into that pretty little head of yours, while a small yet powerful orgasm runs through you and he finally lets his thighs relax; making you release his cock from your pretty stretched out mouth.

a string of his cum mixed with your spit dribbled out of your mouth as you looked up into his icey blue eyes, smiling with satisfaction since you took his cock and fallen babies so well. he grabbed your arm and pulled you close to his torso, leaning down to kiss you; his leftovers mixing into his mouth.

“such a good girl for me.” he praised, biting your bottom lip before he pulled away; eliciting a whine from you. he zipped his softening cock back into his pants and helped you get up from under his desk, handing you a kleenex so you could clean your fucked face; before returning to your desk outside of his very spacious office.

you had been working with the number one hero for quite some months now. he had needed an assistant with this big promotion and from hundreds of recommendations, he hired you. and from that day on, something in him lit up and he decided to make you his dirty little mistress.

you knew Enji was married, since he still wore his wedding ring on his finger, but you didn’t care. his martial status meant nothing to you as long as he continued to pump you full of his cock on a daily basis. call it wrong, but that’s just how you felt.

waving at burnin as she passed by your desk and entered your office, you signed into your laptop and started going through your emails and looking over your boss’s calendar book. until, your phone chimed with a text from endeavor’s personal number.

it was a photo of his clothed bulge with a message underneath it.

- still hard. come let daddy drill this cock in you.

his dirty message made you clinch your thighs together and you quickly replied.

- i would if i could, got to reply to these emails and you’re still talking to burnin. how about i send you a video of me playing with myself, instead?

he quickly liked the message and you giggled. you quickly looked around to check if anyone was coming, before you held your phone up and spread your soiled panties to the side, dipping your fingers in between your drenched lips.

your stifled a moan by biting yours lips, thinking about what happened prior to this, making you cum within seconds. you rode out your orgasm and ended the video, hitting send; before you started typing on your computer again. you knew he would watch the video with his sidekick in his office, volume low along with the brightness. and a few seconds later, the blazin haired hero walked out & relayed that endeavor wanted to see you.

on cue, you walked right back into his office; notebook in hand and quickly closed the dark oak door behind you; before walking up to his desk. you watched as his muscles flexed and protruded through his black velvet sweater, while he pressed play to watch your sexy video once more.

“so pretty and wet for me…look at her clinch around nothing…so sexy~” he turns the phone so you could see, making your face hot and your thighs press together.

“you’ve got a meeting in a few mins,” you reminded, just in case he got a bright idea. and just like you thought, he did.

“get back under this desk and take daddy’s dick while they all pile in here. and if you make a peep, there’s going to be hell for you~” you knew he was serious from the way that he spoke, with your body acting on its own; you found yourself following his orders and dipping underneath his desk again.

you turned your clothed ass towards him, arching your back so he could plunge himself into you with ease. he unzipped himself from his corduroy confinements, freeing his throbbing fatness. he pushed up your skirt and ripped your panties off of your body, before pushing his swollen tip towards your tight entrance.

and as you backed yourself up onto his cock, his employees apart of the meeting came piling into his office, sitting on the black loveseats he had inside. you covered your mouth with your hands, smothering the moans that left your lips as his cock stretched your gummy walls to fit around him.

you would never get used to his sized, you felt like he would get bigger each time he fucked you, pushing your walls past its normal limits.

he did his best to control his facial expressions as he began talking about how they’ve been monitoring and controlling the nomu outbreak, while you fucked him.

your were now passing the pain threshold that came with fucking the number one hero and was now welcoming pleasure. you were more aroused than usual, thanks to the state that you were in. fucking your boss in a room with other’s, unbeknownst to them. pussy becoming wet with each glide around his cock, betraying you by making a squelching noise that could be heard by them.

but, endeavor was quick with putting on a video for them to watch; deafening the noise your pretty girl decided to make for him. you turned your head slightly, catching his gaze while you pushed your self deeper onto his shaft; mouth opening like a bitch in heat.

as you bounced your ass against him, your slick coated pussy became too slippery for his dick and he slipped out of you; causing a gush of air to flow out. an employee turned to see what that noise was, but when he saw endeavor’s stoic face, he quickly turned back around and continued to look at the video in front of him.

endeavor turned his attention back to you and gave you a look; pushing his cock back into you along with his thumb pushing into your other hole as punishment for making too much noise. you bit your finger tips so no one would hear you squeal, the next erotic sensation forced your mind to go dumb.

the way he fucked your cunt to his liking, pushing himself deep inside you where his tip kissed your cervix and rubbed your gspot with ease, made you unfold. eyes rolling back to the whites, cunt queefing with each movement; before he pulled himself out of you—replacing his finger in your ass with his cock; resting above your tighter hole. his own orgasm splayed out on your ass, jerking slightly as it pooled out from his tip.

you caught his eye once more, you could read the look on his face; he was far from done.

“meeting’s over,” he clicked off the flat screen tv, making all his employees look at him.

“but sir, we haven’t discussed—“

“get the fuck out, now” they weren’t trying to argue with him, quickly grabbing their things and leaving his office. it was without a doubt that they were afraid of him and no wasn’t the time to prove that. as the door closed behind the last person, he reached down and grabbed your hips, his cum dripping down between your cheeks as a result.

you sat on his lap, cock ghosting your entrance while he held you there, “didn’t i say you were going to get punished for making a peep?” his voice deep and serious, making you swallow the slight fear he gave you.

“im sorry—“ you felt like your body was melting once he pushed himself back inside your cunt. how was he still hard? his libido always superseded yours. he didn’t let you adjust, his stiff dick bullying your hole with each pound, fucking you dumb once again.

“all ways so tight for me. god, i can’t stop fuckin this cunt” he sent a smack to your clit, causing you to jolt and clench down harder around him. he groaned at the sensation, sending another one to your sensitive bud. your soft mewls were like music to his ears, his dick throbbing repeatedly inside of you; he couldn’t wait to cum inside.

enji’s big hands reached around your chest and ripped your button up to shreds, buttons popping off and flying onto his big desk.

“enji!l you whined and he sent another smack to your clit, correcting you.

“daddy! I don’t have anything else to wear” you moaned when he pushed his cock further into you, cream slowly coated his base. he slowed his stroke down, making you whine once more. he loved hearing you call him daddy, it drove him insane.

“ill have someone bring you another one from the company’s closet. now be a good girl, while l finish fucking this pretty pussy of yours.” his speed picked up once more and he was drilling himself inside of you. he let out some groans, one more primal than the others as he creamed your pussy full of his babies.

he didn’t stop his movements after cumming either, pistoning his cock deeper inside of you; making your orgasm come down harder than the last. he made you squirt, hard, pushing his cock right out of you pussy—splashing his leaking head and his dark desk.

picking you up with his big hands, he stood you on your feet; legs wobbling from the amount of stress that was put on it seconds ago, before he bent you over his desk. his huge frame towered over your smaller one as he pinned your arms behind your back, pulling your skirt all the way down to your ankles and deepening your arch; just so he could re-enter you once again.

your ass rippled against his clothed pelvis, cream and slick sticking to the soft fabric, as he fucked you. you turned your head and was met with a picture of his estranged family and you couldn’t help but moan. taking someone’s husband’s cock in his office every day, knowing someone could walk in excited you. you were made to be his cock whore.

he gripped your wrists, arms bruising slightly from his grip while he pounded you relentlessly. you were cumming and so was he, the way his balls twitched and his stroke became rougher—you were going to be a good slut and take his last load.

“let me stuff you full of my babies again. want you pregnant with my seed~” you were so dizzy with cock, agreeing to his wish, drooling against his desk; while ropes of his cum flowed into you and your own orgasm erupting inside of you. you could see stars like one of those cartoon characters as you came, his dick slowing down inside of you; before he pulled out of you for the last time.

with a smack to your ass, he zipped up him pants and pulled you back into his chest; pressing his lips to yours; another way he dominated you.

“ill go get those clothes from the closet. put this on and stay here. also, when i get back clear my schedule; taking you back to my place so i can hear that pretty girl speak to me again~”

[mischievousmoony]

𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜'

⟢ james potter x black!reader (fem)

⟢ summary: after your parents cross the line, you and your older brother sirius find sanctuary at the potters' . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ 2.6k

⟢ warnings: abusive parents, blood, cuts, head injury

⟢ masterlist

note: i wrote this for fun and never expected to be posting it so i hope it's not bad... i actually never expected to be posting ever again but here i am ;) anyway i’d like to give this a part two (or more!) but i’m not sure what should happen next

An eerie silence overtook 12 Grimmauld Place on what had so far been an unremarkable summer night. 

Not even the usual sounds of activity fell upon your ears. No creaks from the old floorboards in the hallway outside your door. No scratches against your window from the oak branch that desperately needed trimming. 

No cracks from your father smacking one of your brothers for ‘disappointing’ him. No shrills from your mother fussing about whatever she decided would upset her that night. 

Nothing. 

It was complete, utter silence—a silence that would send a shiver down most people’s spine in a house like this. 

As ancient as it is, the walls had witnessed countless tragic displays from the Black ancestors who came before you. These walls are soaked in dark memories, and any visitor would attest that they seep negative energy, drowning those that stay too long. As a resident, you’ve grown used to the sinking feeling in your stomach that comes with being in this house of horrors.

Silent nights like this were something to be grateful for. You could lie in bed, close your eyes, and imagine you were anywhere else. Tonight, it was Hogwarts that you longed for. 

Perhaps you were in your dormitory, about to drift off after a long day of classes. 

Or perhaps you were in the library, studying in the quiet lull of busy students focusing on their work. Perhaps you were even there on a study date with a certain brunette Quidditch captain. Your brother would certainly have a conniption if he knew this particular boy invaded your daydreams. 

You almost drifted off to sleep as this fantasy played like a film on the back of your eyelids. Were those hushed voices you could hear? Had your imagination become so powerful that you could hear students whispering about their assignments? 

Certainly not. The voices were real and coming from somewhere in the house. Your brows furrowed and you strained to listen. Not to eavesdrop, but rather to determine where exactly these voices were coming from. 

You held your breath to listen more closely. Had the voices stopped? Just as you were settling back down to lose yourself in your imagination again, a long, blood-curdling scream jolted you upright from where you lay in bed. 

If you learned anything at the hands of your parents, it was how to discern what was happening just by the sound of your brothers’ screams. You could tell that the scream belonged to a very much in pain Sirius. But the intensity of it was nothing like you’ve heard before. You itched to run to his aid. 

"Don’t do anything."

A memory of Sirius’ voice echoed in your mind. 

"No matter what you hear, you stay in your room and you wait for one of us to come to you."

You always did what you were told, no matter how much you ached to check on your brothers in moments like these. After all, as your brothers claimed, it would only hurt them more if they had to watch what happened to them happen to you, especially if it was just because you wanted to see if they were okay. 

You were the youngest, technically only by two minutes when it came to Regulus, but still, both of your older brothers were fiercely protective over you.

Another spell of silence settled over Grimmauld Place after your brother’s scream. The only noise you could hear now was your heart beating out of your chest. 

That’s what you listened to for twenty long minutes. Your heart rate maintained its rapid pace, as it always did until you saw one of your brothers in the aftermath of the assault. 

Apart from your trembling hands, you sat completely still, waiting and waiting for one of them to come. The longer it took, the more fear built up in your stomach. 

Finally, the sound of booming footsteps landed on your ears as someone barreled up the staircase. Two steps at a time, heavy, and fast. This step pattern was easily distinguished as Sirius’, and you finally stood up from your bed, staring at your door impatiently. 

Sirius burst into your room like a bullet escaping the barrel of a gun. In one swift motion, your brother hauled your empty trunk out from under your bed and dropped it on top. 

He unlatched it and tossed it open, “We’re leaving. For good. Pack only the important stuff.”  

“What happened?” You reached for your brother's arm to force his attention toward you. He hadn’t looked you in the eye once since entering your room. 

His clothes were completely disheveled. As you scanned every thread that was out of place, you noticed that his body was twitching every now and then. His hands trembled, and there was blood on his fingertips. Looking up at his face, you saw the source of blood—a wound hidden behind his hair. He had smeared away what blood had trickled down his forehead with his hands. 

“You need to sit down.” You worried he could have a concussion. 

Sirius took you by the shoulders and thrust you in the direction of your wardrobe. “What I need to do is find out where our parents hide the bloody floo powder. Pack.” 

Sirius’ tone was authoritative and his grave expression made your mouth run dry. Before you could utter words of agreement, he was gone. 

With a wave of your wand, your school books and supplies packed themselves. Meanwhile, you tore through your wardrobe, grabbing the essentials. You moved on quickly to grab whatever else you couldn’t live without: photographs of you and your brothers, letters of love that were hidden behind mirrors, gifted trinkets that you’ve grown attached to, and an ancient bracelet adorned with emeralds. 

As you clicked your trunk shut, Sirius appeared once again with a crystal jar under his left arm, which also balanced his own trunk. His wand was held defensively in his other hand. 

“Let’s go,” Sirius said flatly.

You followed him closely down the stairs to the drawing room. 

Sirius placed the crystal jar on the mantle of the fireplace. You glanced back in the direction from which you came.

“And Regulus?” You asked, wondering where your twin brother was. He would be joining you, wouldn’t he?

Sirius had an unreadable look on his face as he paused to answer you. Before he could, the shrill voice of your mother interrupted, “What do you think you are doing!?”

Sirius grabbed you forcefully by the arms and shoved you into the fireplace. Your right elbow scraped across the brick like chalk as Sirius was acting too fast to be careful. 

“Don’t you dare!” your mother bellowed and began casting hexes straight at you and your brother, aiming to maim. Luckily, Sirius was quite skilled with protego after all these years. 

In between casting protection spells, Sirius shoved his hand into the crystal jar and collected a heap of floo powder. He thrust the soft, emerald powder into your palm. “Go to the Potters! I’ll be right behind you.”

As always, you did what your brother told you to. In a flash, you were stumbling into the cozy living room of the Potter's house in Godric’s Hollow. 

Your eyes and mouth were filled with soot, and you nearly tripped on the carpet as you stumbled blindly away from the fireplace. Instead of falling, you ran right into something solid. Calloused hands landed on your upper arms. You blinked soot from your eyes to meet the gaze of James Potter. 

“What’s happened?” His tone was laced with worry as he scanned your body for injuries. He gently picked up your right arm, inspecting the scuffed, bleeding skin. He winced as if the injury was his own. 

You didn't answer. Instead, you turned to watch the fireplace. Feelings of anxiety swirled in the pit of your stomach as you waited for your brother. You thanked Merlin when he arrived just a few moments later. 

He was coughing when he stepped in and fell to the ground almost immediately.

James regarded you briefly, holding his hands out to you as if to say “hold on” before leaving your side. He rushed to his best friend and yelled for his parents as he tried to determine the problem. Sirius’ skin began to swell and turn sickly shades of red. You recognized this as the effects of your mother’s stinging jinx. 

James’ parents rushed into the room with panic written across their faces. They were in their nightwear and had their wands at the ready to defend their boy from any trouble he might be in. As they took in the scene in front of them, they discarded their wands and quickly came to yours and your brother’s rescue. 

Fleamont Potter offered to take you to a guest room, insisting that you shouldn’t see your brother like this. You refused, wanting to stay with Sirius as Euphemia worked quickly to counteract the stinging jinx. Fleamont, like James, couldn’t hide the worry from his face as you settled in on the couch. 

Your eyes were trained on your brother, but you began to feel sick watching him in all that pain. You shifted your gaze to the empty fireplace and wondered if Regulus would be the next to come through. You tried to shut out your other brother’s groans and cries as you stared desperately into the fireplace. 

With a mix of Euphemia’s healing spells and the application of some herby poultice that was perviously prepared by Fleamont, Sirius’ swelling subsided and his groans turned into occasional whimpers. 

You were able to stomach looking at Sirius again, but your face still showed levels of worry and unease. 

Almost as soon as your eyes fluttered back to Sirius, James took notice of your worry. Confident in his mother's ability to tend to any other injuries Sirius may have, he to came you. 

He moved slowly, as if approaching a frightened cat. You didn’t notice him until he spoke.

“Y/N,” He called gently, his voice barely louder than a whisper, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

You tore your gaze away from your older brother to look into the young Potters’ eyes.

“I don’t know why Regulus isn’t here,” you told James. You just wanted someone else to share this concern with. 

James chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Well… when Sirius is better, we’ll find out what he knows about that. Okay?”

Your lower lip trembled as you choked out, “I’m scared for him.”

James offered a sad smile, “I know. We’ll find out as soon as we can, alright? But all we can do for now is make sure you and Sirius are okay. Let me take care of you, yeah?” 

You let your gaze drift away from James and back to your brother once again. He seemed to be in good hands with Euphemia and now Fleamont. 

You nodded, giving James the okay. He had a gentle hold on your upper arm as he led you up off the couch. You followed him through his house until he guided you into the bathroom and sat you down on the lid of the toilet. 

James sifted through the bathroom cabinets until he pulled out a yellowing pouch, stained with age, and a washcloth which he saturated with warm water. 

James held out a hand toward you. “Can I take care of that elbow, m’dear.”

You placed your forearm in James’ palm while his other hand got to work on cleaning your cut skin. As gentle as James was being, you winced anyway. Seeming fearful of causing you more pain, James managed to be even gentler.

Once satisfied, James lost the washcloth and dipped his hand into the pouch that he recovered from the cabinet. The contents he pulled out look considerably fresher than the bag itself, thankfully. 

First, he took out bandages, followed by a clear jar that contained a sticky looking yellow jelly. He scooped up a generous amount on his pointer finger and applied it to your skin. 

As he worked, he kept stealing glances at you, building up the courage to ask what all the Potter’s were surely wondering that night. He decided to bite the bullet, “Do you think you can tell me what happened?”

You explained all that you knew, detailing the events from the moment you heard your brother’s scream to the moment you fell into James’ arms. 

“Don’t know what they did to make him scream like that.” You shuddered at the possibilities. 

James was applying a bandage to you now. “‘S okay. He’s doing better now. My parents probably have him all tucked in bed and fast asleep.” 

James endearingly tapped your nose, “Let’s do the same for you, yeah?”

“I wanna talk to Sirius,” you protested. 

“Like I said, my parents probably have him in bed by now. Come on, I promise we’ll get all your questions answered first thing in the morning.”

You sighed but agreed. James led you through his house once again: up the stairs, down the hall, and through the third door on the left. It was a small room with just a bed, a desk, and a wardrobe. 

“Just a moment,” James said and disappeared into the hall. Seconds later, he was back with a Gryffindor t-shirt and some sweats. “Here, you can wear these. I’ll bring your trunk up in the morning.” 

James dipped out of the room once again to give you privacy to change. As you removed your shirt, you noticed bloody fingerprints on the shoulder and sleeves where Sirius had held onto you. You threw the shirt into the bin under the desk. 

Once dressed in James’ loaner clothing, you sat on the bed. Light knocks peppered the door and you called for, presumably, James to come in. James entered with a glass of water in hand. 

“Thank you,” you murmured, taking a few sips from the glass before handing it back. He placed it on the desk for you. 

James then helped you settle into the flowery, purple sheets, “Comfy?” 

You nodded up at him. 

“I’m, uh, just across the hall, alright?” James turned to leave. He stopped by the light switch and looked back at you. 

He took notice of your expression, which brought a frown to his lips. Your eyebrows were drawn in as you stared straight ahead at the wall and the corners of your mouth were turned down slightly. You barely even blinked as James studied the far away look in your eyes. 

James wanted to be by your side. He wanted to kiss you and hug you and tell you everything would be alright. But something about kissing you while your brother, his best friend, lay injured and clueless down the hall made him feel guilty. 

James sighed and flicked off the light. The door was pushed into its frame, but James hadn’t left the room. Instead, he approached the bed and sat on the edge of it by your feet. You pushed yourself up on your elbows to look at him curiously. 

“Gonna keep you company till you fall asleep, that okay?” James whispered an explanation. 

You’re not sure if he could see your nod in the dark, but you were too tired to use your voice. 

You sank back into the pillow and allowed your eyes to shut. A light pressure could be felt on your calf. James had rested his hand there, over the blanket. He slowly dragged his hand up and down, and you let his stroke lull you to sleep. 

The last thing you heard before drifting off into a dream was a quiet whisper from James' lips, "'M gonna keep you safe here."

[peanutbubba]

White Beard Pirates x Reader Talking To Another Man

Ace, Marco, Izo, Jozu, Thatch, and Vista! Gender neutral!reader, slight cursing, kinda got lazy at the end sadly, might be a little ooc for some of them since it’s my first time writing them, no beta we die like ace, requested!

———————————————————————

Portgas D. Ace

Ace is naturally a jealous man, he doesn’t really like to be, finding it to be an unattractive trait within himself however he can’t help it. Especially, when he finds you near another crew member, stealing all your attention.

It doesn’t take long for him to realize that you were missing for nearly half the day, gone from your routinely activity of finding him and giving a kiss to his cheek plus checking up on him. When he goes to find you he nearly crushes a piece of railing he was holding onto, realizing that you weren’t missing, no, someone had just been pestering you all day. No wonder why you haven’t been with him for nearly half of the day, this person was hogging you all to themselves! He’s quick to act though, a charming smile on his face as he plays up his outgoing personality, tring to cover his jealousy. Swinging himself over the side of the railing and walking over to you and the other man, warm arms wrapping tightly against your waist, pressing his chest to your back.

He tries to coax you into leaving with him, hands rubbing circles on your waist as he whispers softly in your ear of missing you. If that doesn’t work then he just glares at the other man until he leaves, eyes piercing and irritated. When the man quickly runs off not wanting to anger The Fire Fist Ace you look suspiciously back at Ace, his expression now changed to relaxed and loving. Again, he softly asks if you can hang out with him. Will give you puppy dog eyes if he needs too, please say yes.

Marco

Without a doubt, Marco is the most calm about you talking to another man that isn’t him. It isn’t exactly that he doesn’t care, he just is secure in your relationship and the fact that you’d never go behind his back. Plus, he’s very aware that you also deserve to have a social life outside of him.

However, he also prioritizes your safety and wellbeing above all else, should something happen to you he wouldn’t forgive himself. His trust in you is absolute, as always, the people you talk to not so much. Especially when it’s while you’re stopped at an island, his eyes are glued to you and that man, making sure he makes no attempts to put you in danger. As a person with a high bounty you’re always at risk of being put in danger, and while Marco is confident you can protect yourself that doesn’t stop his worries any less.

Hovering near the areas you are, or just full blown hanging around you, a charming yet deadly serious demeanor about him. He definitely feels less uneasy when you’re both on the ship around trusted people, and a hundred times more when you’re close to somewhere he can monitor your surroundings. Overall, not very overbearing about you talking to other men, so long as he knows you’re safe and that the man isn’t bothering you.

Thatch

Another man who would be pretty calm about you talking to another man is Thatch, probably would even join you in conversation with whoever you’re actively talking to if he has the chance too and you don’t mind.

As a more friendly natured man he’s quite happy when you meet new people, thinking that the socialization is good for you. If he’s not too busy then a lot of the time he’ll join in the conversation happily, pleased to talk with another person and especially you. If he is then he doesn’t really mind, he’s a little jealous that it isn’t him you’re talking to but just by a smidge, he gets over it pretty quickly.

He also does it to make sure you don’t get into any trouble. He wholeheartedly believes that you can absolutely take care of anyone that bothers you, he’s your #1 fan, but he also likes to be careful, especially if it’s with someone who isn’t from/is new to the crew.

Izou

With Izou it’s a complete 50/50 how he acts, completely depending on how the other person is acting towards you, or if you both know the person.

If you’re chatting with a man that both of you know that he’s completely calm, maybe every now and then his eyes are flickering to your form to make sure you’re okay, but he allows you to have your conversation in peace with the man, occasionally gives the man death glares though so he knows not to do anything. If it’s a complete stranger though then his entire demeanor changes.

Izou is a fiercely loyal man, whatever it takes he’ll ensure you’re safe and happy, so without a doubt if you’re talking to someone new then he’s sticking beside you if he can. Definitely has a mean face while looking at the man you’re talking to, he’s just trying to keep the man under a watchful gaze. A hundred percent scares the man off.. Izou is definitely more protective than he is jealous, doesn’t mean you can’t make him jealous though. If he is jealous then he’s quick to get whatever pest of a man is near you away, trying to steal your attention for himself.

Jozu

Jozu is very quiet, you never really know what he’s thinking until he actually says something. If you’re ever talking to someone else he’s especially hard to read, just staring at the both of you for a moment.

He’s just trying to make sure that the man has no bad intentions for you, his silence sometimes mistaken for brooding although he’s just trying to be through with his observations of the man. If the man is fine then he’s fine, only really looking back at you occasionally making sure you’re still alright.

If the man is a little strange or off putting though then he’s quick to act, smoothly and almost silently stealing you away from your company. If you ask him what’s wrong then he’ll obviously softly tell you, but once you both are far away from that weird ass man.

Vista

Vista barely has any bones in his body to be jellyfish, key word being barely. Although, that jealousy is more towards if that man is hitting on you rather than if you’re talking to him.

He just watches for a moment you and the man having a conversation, not very worried knowing that he can trust the way you act around other people. His eyes leave you for just a couple minutes, looking at something else before going back to you. Your body rigid and face clearly uncomfortable, the man talking to you clearly getting too confident for his own good.

Ooo, he’s mad. How dare this man make you, his lovely partner, uncomfortable! Definitely coming to your rescue as quickly as he can. If you’re okay with PDA then he might put a hand on your waist to get the man to back off, if not then he’s just casually whisking you away from that creep.

—

Im so sad, Jozu barely has any gifs!! Also this was pretty fun, made me write about characters I wouldn’t normally, which was cool.

Hope you enjoyed! Peas out.

[sueheesblog]

Syd wasn't the only one treated badly this season. As a Sydcarmy shipper, I didn't get a kiss or love confess scene and that's okay. I'm not jumping ship until Chris paint me a obvious pic that Syd or Carmy doesn't have feelings for each other. (And to be honest he's doing a shitty job at it). The tea, margrin wider, his perfect meal delivered to Syd, she putting in his play with love n care.... His apologies in episode one. Storer is not beating these Sydcarmy allegations.

If I can make it through "Scandal" with my girl Olivia Pope being a mistress n used like a door mat for the White House and all sort of men. I pray I have the strength to deal with the shit show The Bear just handed it audience in Season. SPOILERS BELOW

Most of the characters in this season was treated like shit, not just Syd (I know we want a love story. But nothing good comes easy). We are at a point where Syd n Carm are not on the same page and one of them is planning to breakup with the other. I like the angst makes the show more realistic.

I don't hear anyone crying about Ebra running the whole sandwich window by himself for a month maybe more!!! That shit was soo unfair. He was doing a two or 3 mans job for 1 pay check. (The side window was Syd's idea and we later found out that most of the money they make was from it). Tina was also treated badly by Carm, to the point where she got overwhelmed. We saw Syd stepped up n told Carm she would handle T. Becuase she knew if Carmy handled it, Tina would've walk out on his ass.

Cousin was also treated like shit (him and Syd got the most heat). I'm surprised he doesn't have panic attacks after dealing with Carmy's madness. Carmy changed everything Cousin did (dining setup) and everything Syd did (menu wise).

Carmy also treated his sister shitty. His constant menu changes and all the paper work she had to deal with because of his mess. That was soo heartless considering she was pregnant and close to delivery. But, Carmy didn't care about that, he went right back to not asking her how she's doing.

Only the Faks were painted in a good lifght this season, and I don't know why. It's so weird. They got too many screen time. The writers should have used those times to answer some questions for the viewers. But, instead, they wasted it on Faks and the Computer guy, who was rude to Syd and wanted Marcus gone. Nat was an OG for standing up for Marcus.

Marcus was also mellow, but I think it's because he lost his mom. Everyone was careful around him, and did their best not to overwhelmed him.

I need some of you to quit thinking Syd was the only one catching heat this season. I'm not pulling the black woman card yet. I like being fair. And right now, I'm hope the fandom doesn't die because I can see some really good fanfic with angst based on this season. Or theories as to how Carmy will handle hearing that his fear of Syd really leaving this time for good, might come to pass.

And a big thanks to everyone who's post the gifs. Y'all really should get paid for these things. Just absolutely breathtaking and creative.

[waters-and-the-wilde]

okay i was thinking about. the way Juno and Nureyev think. like the way their minds complement each other is just so goddamn neat to me.

(I've touched on something like this before in my 'Nureyev's coping mechanisms backfiring when misapplied' post, the bit about 'Juno’s intelligence is geared toward gathering clues and then assembling narratives, getting good insight checks and putting together a bigger picture that Nureyev has trained himself out of being able to see. they’re both very good at reading people but Nureyev’s strength is being quick on his feet and handling people and situations in the moment while Juno is good at mapping people’s inner landscapes and motivations')

and now another thing that strikes me about Juno's whole detective brain thing is the way his knowledge and memory is incredibly interconnected and associative, the way little pieces crop up in his mind and he knows they're important but not necessarily why, and has to hang onto them until he can see how they fit. The way he basically lives for his 'I connected the dots!!!' moments. he doesn't seem to have the same command over recall the way Nureyev does -- Nureyev's being extremely deliberate and structured, whereas Juno's pattern recognition and responses to prompts and triggers look a lot more instinctive, even if it's just that the way he works has allowed that talent to flourish

And from there you have an equally fascinating contrast in how heavily Nureyev also relies on his knowledge and memory, and yet his method hinges on that ability to compartmentalize, and how the the pieces stay extremely discrete. it's like. Nureyev's constantly putting shit away in filing cabinets, and Juno's constantly leaving stuff around all the time because How Else Would He Know Where It Is, it'll be there when he needs it

and then that leads to fascinating stuff like Nureyev's knowledge being incredibly precise yet fragmented, very purposefully weighed and deployed in the scenario he knows how to apply it to. and how that catches him off the back foot so spectacularly in Man In Glass by relegating useful context as extraneous so thoroughly he literally dissociates it. In Juno's case, the way he can see how things relate to each other backfires on him when he gets carried away, jumps to conclusions without necessarily having the groundwork/evidence/ability to show his work and back it up

ALSO. jury's out on how much Nureyev has actually considered whether his 'focus on the guard not the queen' mentality was shooting himself in the foot before Man In Glass but. something something Train From Nowhere 'i trust your eyes, for a start. and I trust your mind! a master detective's' etc. I get the sense that he recognizes what Juno does as a strength and a complementary skill (at least initially/on an instinctive level/when he's at his best. obv there's still him getting stuck on his Rules of Thieving/forgetting to listen/getting condescending and dismissive under stress but i think that sorta highlights the whole point that they're at their best when they're confident in that trust in each other.)

(also given the CMP heist it's not exactly just Nureyev and I kinda have to wonder if maybe the Aurinkos have Juno's jumping to conclusions tendency work great sometimes and then backfire a bunch of others so they can't always let him have a full head of steam at a precarious moment. i know i've seen ppl get frustrated about that bit and like yes it is a frustrating device but it still strikes me as different from the way that sort of thing is usually deployed, in that it has plenty of plausible grounding in the characterization and communication styles)

like yes i'm a simple man i go bonkers for them being competent at their chosen skills but 'we work well together' is such a cornerstone of their relationship and the way their minds are so different and dovetail so effectively is just. the drift compatibility is built into their psyches and it's absolutely *chef's kiss*

[samcrosfaith]

A LITTLE LOST 𝟬𝟮| 𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙣𝙚𝙬𝙨

Happy Lowman x fem!oc

You can find the introduction chapter and chapter one here, just click on it. You can also find them, and all the future chapters, in my masterlist {pinned post!}

Let me know if you wanna be tagged in future chapters!

a/n; I promise Happy will finally appear in the next chapter. I just had to get this story started in a somewhat logical way. I hope you enjoy! 🤎

word count; 2900

IT WAS TWO DAYS LATER, two days after Juice and Jax made a horrifying discovery, when four speechless men stood across the street from the burger restaurant, shock and fascination etched into their faces.

"Shit man, that's creepyᅳ and it takes a lot to freak me out", Tig spoke first, his hands prepped on his hips, eyes covered by dark sunglasses. "Death seems prettier than everᅳI'd definitely tap that."

"What the hell, man?" Jax' face twisted in disgust, he snapped his head to the side to glare at Tig. "It's still Hap's Old Lady, have some respect."

"Did he ever have respect?" Juice asked from the left, a sigh leaving his lips. But for a brief moment the slightest grin crossed his features. "I don't think he knows the word respect when there's someone with two legs and a hole he could use."

"Hey, we don't talk about women like that." Tig smacked the back of Juice' head, shaking his head as if he hadn't started it. "Have some respect."

"Boys, enough", Chibs' thick Scottish accent interrupted the little teasing game, earning a grateful look from Jax as his serious gaze landed on the three men. "What d' we do now? Go inside and talk t' her? Juicy? Did ye' check her records?"

"I did", the Puerto Rican nodded, not exactly enthusiastically as he tilted his head to the side. "No one by the name of Josephine Lowman works hereᅳ but a Josephine O'Connell."

"That's her maiden name", Jax thought aloud, rubbing a hand down his face as he let out a deep sigh. "What the hell is this? She was declared dead. Hell, Happy saw her, checked for himself because he didn't believe the doctors."

"Since she's officially declared dead, tha' explains why she uses her maiden name", Chibs also thought out loud, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared thoughtfully through the large window into the burger restaurant, still fascinated by watching someone who was actually dead. "We need t' find out how that's possible, what really happened t' Josy."

"How? We can't just ask her", Juice stated matter-of-factly, uncertainty flashing in his brown eyes. All he wanted was to talk to Josy, to hug his very much alive best friend, to tell her how glad he was that she was still here. "Besides, I can't believe she would ever do this to Happy; letting him suffer and allᅳ that's not like her at all."

"Well, she didn't recognize me, which means she must've suffered some kind of memory loss", which was the only logical explanation in Jax' eyes.

"Or she just faked her death", Tig said dryly as he took off his sunglasses, shrugging his shoulders. "We're going in there now and talk to her."

"Tig!" Jax called after the man, but the man with the black curls was too determined and already halfway across the street, which gave the others no choice and practically forced them to follow him, which all three did with a shake of their heads.

The bell above the door rang as the four bikers entered the restaurant and attracted different glances. Glances that they had long been used to. They looked around carefully until Josy finally appeared, with a sweet smile on her lips that everyone could still remember.

"I know why Hap fell in love with her", said Chibs, without sounding creepy in any way. It was no secret how beautiful Josy was.

"Yeah, she really was a jackpot", Juice agreed wistfully, clearing his throat as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "Or still is..apparently."

It was so strange to see the young woman alive, and yet it was a huge relief, a shock in a good way.

As the four men stood in the middle of the restaurant, still considering how exactly they should address Josy, she was already heading towards the small group, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Can I help you?", she asked, polite as always. "If you're looking for a table, I can offer you one over there", she added, spinning around to point to the free table.

"You can help us, darlin'", Jax began, trying his best to hide his fascination as he spoke to the redhead. "Can you give us five minutes of your time? We have a few questions."

"Uh..Iᅳ I'm working right now." The redhead clutched the menu card to her chest, swallowing nervously. Why did four bikers want to talk to her? "Maybe our manager can help?"

"No, we need t' talk to ye', lass." Chibs stepped forward and placed a reassuring hand on Josy's shoulder, but removed it quickly when the young woman tensed up. "Sorry, sweetheart", he apologized sincerely. "We just have t' figure somethin' out, ye' know? It won't take more than five minutes."

"We really don't want to cause any trouble, we just want to talk." Juice sent a warm smile in Josy's direction, also stepping a little closer. "Would you give us a moment?"

Somehow the redhead managed to relax at the younger man's smile but she didn't know why. But what she did know was that she should be much more intimidated, much more worried, about the fact that four men from a biker club wanted to talk to her.

Were they old clients from her dad? Maybe they had hired him as lawyer and her father managed to piss them off somehowᅳ which wouldn't be the first time Arthur had angered someone to the point they were seeking for some kind of revenge.

But if there was one thing Josy wasn't, it was judgmental. Her sweet nature, her kindness, would probably, hopefully, always stay a part of her.

"Okay", she said finally, exhaling loudly. Apparently it really did seem important and her curiosity was piqued. "Five minutes, that's all I can do."

"Thanks, lass", Chibs nodded sincerely, as did the other three men. "Maybe we should sit down for tha', I think tha' would be better for all of us."

As if everything wasn't confusing enough already, an uneasy feeling was now brewing in the pit of her stomachᅳ a strange feeling that she couldn't quite shake off.

Josy, her beautiful freckle-covered face framed by her ginger strands, nodded slightly before leading the small group to the free table in a quiet corner and waited until everyone had slid into the booth to take a seat.

Pulling a chair from another table, she placed it in front of the table and slowly plopped down onto it, asking her colleague, who had just scurried past with a slightly confused look, to take over her tasks for a moment.

"Are you okay?", asked the brunette, her voice lowered as she placed a protective hand on Josy's shoulder.

"She's fine, doll", Tig winked with his typical smirk while his eyes checked out the beautiful woman. "I'd feel even better if you sat down too."

"Tig", Jax warned, glaring at the man once again. "Not now."

"Creep", the brunette scoffed; in contrast to Josy, she had a quick tongue.

Clearly amused, Tig raised his hands in the air. "I'm sorry, doll, sometimes I can't keep my mouth shut when I see a pretty face."

"Oh my God, here we go", Juice muttered under his breath, only able to shake his head at Tig's boldness.

"That's enough", Chibs grumbled, a certain vibration in his voice as he saw how uncomfortable and uncertain Josy's expression suddenly seemed. "I'm sorry, lass. My friend here can't control himself sometimes."

"It's okay", the redhead murmured before giving her colleague and friend a reassuring look. "I'm okay, thanks Summer."

"Good." The brunette shot the men a warning look, each and every one of themᅳ although she sheepishly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear at the Puerto Rican, who gave her an apologetic smile before her features turned hard again and she was pointing a scolding finger at them. "Keep your hands to yourself, all of you!"

Josy watched her friend with a small smile, grateful for her boldness, before she looked back at the men. "What could four bikers want from me? How about one of you finally gives me an explanation?"

"Nothing would please me more, darlin'," Jax winked as he shot her his signature smile, his broad shoulders sinking against the orange cushion of the seat. "Your name is Josephine, right?"

"You know my name?" Swallowing the forming lump in her throat, Josy shifted nervously in her seat. "How? I don't know any of you."

"Yes, yes ye' do, lass", Chibs explained with a sigh, his tone calm and reserved. Freaking her out even more wasn't what he wanted. "We know how absurd that sounds, and we'll understand if ye' throw us out in a minute, but give us a chance t' explain everythin', aye?"

"This is getting really weird, I hope you know that", the young woman uttered as she crossed her arms. "What do you want from me?"

"You died a little over one and a half year ago. At least that's what we thought." Tig dropped the bomb before they could make the woman any more nervous, empathy in his tone as he spoke. "And you were married to one of our brothersᅳ that's why we're here."

"I know this sounds crazy", Jax said immediately, his hands resting on the surface of the white table as a frown took over his face. "But it's the truth. At least if you're Josephine O'Connell, born in Roseville on October 10th, 1984. Is that right?"

Josy's lips opened and closed so many times that she would probably get a jaw cramp later, but not once did she utter a word. Instead, an almost hysterical-sounding chuckle slipped past her lips, a sea of emotion pooling in her eyes.

"And you are the mother of a one-year-old girl", Juice explained calmly, sympathy in both his voice and his eyes as he could see the deep shock cross Josy's face. "Well, she's one and a half now, looks just like you. Same red hair and all", he added with a beaming smile. "Her name's Esmee."

"Stop..please..", Josy whispered, sheer horror in her eyes as she listened to the words they were saying. "This has to be a bad joke. A sick, fucked up joke."

Suddenly her chest felt tight, as if someone was squeezing it. Her heart was beating so hard against her ribcage that she could feel it in her throat while the blood rushed through her veins faster than ever before, sending a feeling of dizziness to her head.

"We wish it was just a bad joke, believe me." Jax leaned over the table a little as he was the one sitting closest to Josy. The redhead looked as if she was about to pass out, so Jax put a strong hand against her arm just in case. "Are you okay? Is there anything we can do?"

Her head snapped up, astonished and partly speechless, she stared at the blonde man. "You wanna know if I'm okay?"

The hysterical laughter that sounded from the back of her throat sent a chill down the guys' spines. "You didn't seriously just ask me that, did you?"

"Josy", Juice began, trying to grab Josy's hand from the other side of the table as the redhead's breath faltered and she slowly began to hyperventilate. But the girl pulled her hand back in fright, a film of tears now covering her eyes, shattering Juice' heart. "You have to believe us, please. We may do a lot of questionable things, but joking about things like thatᅳ that's not our style."

"Then why the hell am I here if I should be dead, huh?!", she choked out, her splayed fingers pressed against her chest as she tried to take deep breaths. "I would know if I was married and had a child! What kind of mother would forget about her own child?"

"Normally people don't, that's right", Jax noted with a sigh, feeling bad for the woman who seemed absolutely frightened and desperate. "You had an accident when you were pregnantᅳ you died, the baby, Esmee, was saved."

"Someone must've played us really good, after all you're sitting in front of us, no idea who we are", Tig continued as he leaned forward a little, his arms crossed on the table as his piercing blue eyes searched for Josy's. "And your husband is losing it the more time passes without you by his side."

"I can'tᅳ I can't believe this." The first tears rolled down her pale cheeks, which she quickly wiped away with her palms before shaking her head frantically and shooting up from her seat. Smoothing her apron, she exhaled shakily. "I had an accident, yes. And yes, I've been suffering from anterograde amnesia since it happened", she explained, the words practically bubbling out of her. "But this..", another hysterical laugh fell over her lips. "This is absolutely crazy."

"Who told ye' all of tha', lass? Who was there after you woke up?", Chibs asked urgently as he also stood up without getting too close to the redhead. She was already upset and frightened enough, almost seeming like a little deer without a mother. "Can ye' at least remember what happened after the accident?"

"My family, who else?" All of this was too much for her, her brain no longer able to process all the information that she didn't even know if it was true. "I'm sorry, Iᅳ I can't do this."

"Josy, please!" Jax was the first to grab Josy's arm, causing the young woman to defend herself and yank her arm out of his grasp before stumbling two steps backwards, which caught the attention of the other employees and guests.

"Don't touch me", the redhead snarled, which wasn't normally her style. But at the moment she was so overwhelmed that all she wanted to do was to run away. "Leave me alone, all of you. I don't know what kind of sick game this is, but play it with someone else!"

"You heard her", the brunette from before intervened after she had immediately rushed over to her clearly upset friend, her gaze stern and warning. "You better leave now before I get the managerᅳ or before I call the police."

"Alright." Jax threw his hands in the air with a sigh while Chibs scribbled something down on a napkin. "Come on guys, let's go."

There was no point in staying here. In hindsight, someone would actually call the cops and they didn't need that at the moment. After fourteen months inside, a police station was the last place they wanted to see right now. Maybe they would try again in a few days, outside the restaurant.

"It was nice to see you again though", Jax added sincerely, wistfulness in his blue eyes before he shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded the guys over.

"If ye' change yer' mind", Chibs shoved the napkin into the small pocket on Josy's apron, an almost fatherly smile grazing his lips. "That's the address of our clubhouseᅳ ye' can visit us there anytime."

Josy's body stiffened, the muscles under her skin slowly began to burn from all the tension. Still, she didn't miss how calm she became when the man with the scars on his face shot her that smile. It felt familiar, but she couldn't remember ever having seen the man before.

"We'd love to hear from you." Juice was also back on his feet by now, suppressing the urge to hug his best friend with all his might. Still, he gently bumped her shoulder with his as he walked past her, smiling at her. "It's a relief to know that you're alive."

Tig was the last to walk past the women, giving Josy a warm smile before winking at the brunette, Summer. "You can join her if your friend decides to come by."

"Jesus, you're not giving up, huh?" Slightly annoyed, the brunette rolled her eyes, comfortingly rubbing her friend's arm as she watched the four men reluctantly leave the restaurant. "What a bunch of freaks."

The guests forgot about the incident quicker than expected and went back to their food while business continued as normal. Summer, on the other hand, led Josy into one of the back rooms so her friend could have a quiet moment.

"Do you need something?", asked Summer, concern evident in her tone as Josy slowly sank into a chair. "Want me to call Debbie?"

"No, please don't", Josy answered quickly, not in the mood to have to explain all of this to her sister right now. "I'm okay, Summer. You can go back to work."

The brunette raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, thank you", Josy assured with a weak smile and a nod, watching her colleague leave the room with a shrug and a sigh.

Only then did Josy reach for the napkin in her apron and stare thoughtfully at the address. Maybe she should look into it. If there was any chance that there was any truth behind what the men had said, then she wanted to know. Above all, she wanted to know why her father and sister, who supposedly only wanted the best for her, had lied to her.

Maybe, just maybe, she would take a little trip to Charming this weekend.

[archangelsarchway]

I only created a Tumblr account just to read venture fics 😔😭 could I potentially request a possessive venture x reader HCS or a fic of how venture gets irritated when others keeps hogging their baby's attention until it gets too much & it ends up breaking their ability to focus on work ,,, I just love it when venture gets all >:((((

welcome to tumblr, i'm also new here :3 if you ever wanna talk about venture, join our discord server :3 in any case, im gnawing at the bars of my enclosure, i need enrichment and this seems like the perfect source.

- Sloan's body tensed up when they got irritated.

- You could see it in the way their veins got just a bit more visible, the subtle way their jaw clenched.

- They would hold you closer, be a bit more aggressive in their PDA if they saw someone looking at you, even just a glance.

- If someone bothers you while at work or on a date with them, oh boy. They get incredibly passive aggressive, sarcastic even.

-"Hey, dude! Just wanted to let you know that this one here? They're mine! That's kind of crazy that you didn't know that, because you see- we're sitting right next to each other and holding hands. That's not platonic behavior!"

- they're all up in their face, smiling saccharine sweetly

- all while clutching your waist as tight as possible without hurting you

- a soft kiss was laid on your hand after they lifted it up to their mouth

- the dude walks away, unnerved and uncomfortable

- but for harassment... You were at a small get together with a few mutual friends and Sloan. You separated from them a whole ago, but 30 minutes after that is when someone tried to flirt with you. He made unfunny jokes and smelled like rotten apples. You tried to give him every hint that you weren't interested and already had a partner but he kept touching your hand, and even the small of your back when you tried turning to talk to another person. Your savior appeared in a dashing tank top and graphic shorts with dinosaurs on them. "Hi! What's going on here?" Sloan wrapped a arm around your torso but it might have been a vice with how tight they squeezed you. "I'm just talking with my othe-" "I'm sorry, your other?" they chuckle at this, and then they descend into hysterical laughs. "Last time i checked, they don't associate with someone who smells like a dying apple tree. Go ferment like a good Sumerian cider, pissant."

They clutch your arm and whisk you away to the car, where they started ranting about how you need to stay close to them at outings from now on, while being showered in concern and kisses.