#now i just gotta go to clinicals and take the
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i did the damn thing yall
#i passed my finals#now i just gotta go to clinicals and take the#state exams#then i’ll be a cna#so slay
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#my psych who prescribes my psych meds is a resident and is moving on in a couple of months#i don't even remember the names of them all at this point#this happens over and over and I cannot find a clinic that will put me with someone who intends to stay#thst will also prescribe my adhd meds#and my anxiety meds#and the real kicker is that twice now they have LIED about it and said they would#only to reveal after all the hoop-jumping that oops sorry they didn't really mean it#so it's a risk i have to take any time i leave#and rhen there's the issue of new people almost always wanting to DO something#but instead of talking to me about it they just decide that my meds need overhauling and pressure me to go off shit that works#but that they morally object to i guess#and my psych for some stupid reason has decided she wants bloodwork for my cholesterol and blood sugar stuff and im just like#what hell does THIS presage because if she harasses me about the results or tries to put me on drugs for that#I'll give her a nasty scrap about it#im not interested in those meds at all#and im certainly not messing with my diet since food is the only pleasure i get most days and even that is marginal at best#and removing that would just make me worse#but medpros for the most part really don't give a fuck about that#and so now im afraid - because i do not and cannot trust them - that if i disapprove of the meds they will retaliate somehow#which good luck proving that when management and oversight often don't even care if they course of treatment will HARM you#if it relates to being fat or having bad numbers#they just gotta pathologize!#so yeah im sick of everything and just kind of want to bury myself in a bog forever#i shouldn't have to deal with this
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Magenta 🤬
#my state is complaining about not having enough customers for psilocybin treatments#well as someone that heavily advocated for it to be legalized because of research and science lemme tell you why:#you gatekept your whole client base via outpricing them because you don't want to serve people with medium to low incomes#you only want rich people as your clients when the majority of people who could legitimately benefit from this treatment#are one paycheck away from homelessness or have to choose between an 800-1200 dose or buying groceries for the next month for their families#now look I get it you gotta get your cake and eat it too#but that's no excuse for isolating a large client base just because you're offended that poor people with mental health issues exist#if you want to keep this shit rolling and not have the state overturn anything#make it more accessible to people that truly need it and I'm telling you word of mouth travels fast#you'll get more clients more advocacy and more investment into research#by giving people an opportunity#and making them feel included in the process#thats what yall did when you started the petitions to get lawmakers to take the benefits seriously#so what changed?#what turned you into greedy cunts?#oh yeah money and again you're offended poor people exist#y'all know too folks will just go to a dealer they know and get it for cheaper right?#i mean whats the point in paying 3 to 5k for a special “retreat” where you pay an additional 1k to 2k for 3 doses#when johnny boy down the street can hook you up with 10 doses for 100 bucks and a bag of chips?#and btw guys wtf happened to all that money that was supposed to go to creating state of the art mental health clinics and facilities#when measure 110 got passed that decriminalized drugs?#no one has an answer???#hmmm#it's no wonder we are near dead last in mental health in this country#its like i said in the meeting: you guys love to profit off the suffering of others#magenta#magenta is my vent word
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was brave and talked to my doctor abt my period bs + she said it might be endometriosis without me even having to bring it up... 💀
#shes prescribed me naproxen & tranexamic acid for now bc theyre basically the only 2 painkiller options i havent tried yet#but shes said she'll text me some resources on endometriosis and asked me to book an appt in january to update her#and then she can either issue a repeat script or we can go down the route of trying to diagnose a condition#which would likely take a long time so id probably have to try hormonal meds again in the meantime but she was rly understanding abt#the fact id had negative experiences w them before so was apprehensive abt it. so nice to have a dr who actually cares instead of trying#to fob me off w over the counter meds which is what happened last time lol#she was like wow im surprised they told you to take codeine for cramps thats not smth id recommend due to the side effects 💀#like damn. well ive been doing it for the last few years and yeah its not great#augh.... its ok tho i feel better now im actively doing smth abt it and looking for a diagnosis is an option thats available#bc ik how rare it is for gps to take patients seriously. the average diagnosis time for endometriosis is 12 years in wales 💀💀#my mums had such a struggle with gynaecology in her part of the country too shes been waiting for an operation for almost a year#and they booked her in for it and everything and then when she showed up the doctor was like im so so sorry i dont have access to a clinic#and i wanted to cancel your appt bc obvs i cant carry out the surgery without a clinic but the practice refused to let me cancel it#she showed my mum emails shed sent to management begging them to let her cancel patients she wasnt able to treat bc its such a waste of#everyones time and resources and rly shitty to do but they told her to 'watch herself and think about meeting her targets' 💀#bc cancellations look bad on their records so they were forcing her to hold appts without treatment anyway lmfao#insane country how is the nhs still functioning.#anyway thats todays medical report ik how eagerly u guys have been waiting on my pussy update#didnt ask abt antidepressants bc didnt have time and anyway im handling it better now its just taken a while to adjust to the shorter days#and the cramp stuff is way more pressing bc i get them for a week or two before my period AND when i ovulate now#so im probably spending equal amts of time in pain than not in pain every month now 👍#actually makes me feel fucking insane when i start thinking about it. its fine tho. okay im gonna piss and then go out again to sort out#everything ive gotta do today and then i can just chill this afternoon#how is it only 10am.....#.diaries
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baby's first run-in with emergency contraception has her thinking that maybe the pain of iud placement and associated side effects wouldn't be so bad
#took the three hour drive to think while listening to call her daddy after taking the pill#and honestly its not a bad idea#now i have to decide between copper and hormonal#im high key scared to gain weight and other things that come with hormonal due to other issues so copper might be the way to go#if i go through with it im hoping to get it over thanksgiving or christmas break or have it by then at least#i just really dont want to go back on the pill and the arm implant has even worse side effects on some women#and i really dont want that either#anyway gotta love having a uterus :D#so silly goofy#now i have to figure out who to go to to get it#my first thought was planned parenthood or the hope clinic but maybe i need to go to my pcp first?
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(JUST MEET ME AT THE) APT! — gojo satoru minors dni. art by chitrartum on twt.
welcome to the christmas tour ! take a seat in section (a) and let the show begin !
prologue. → your ex, that sleazy and no-good scumbag won't stop posting tacky mirror selfies on instagram, arm around his fellow cheater-in-crime. so, christmas eve finds you morose in a dodgy dive bar. why not tumble back into bed with that random, gorgeous stranger you just met?
want to try sitting somewhere else ? take a look at the ticket chart again !
pairing. gojo satoru x afab!reader
warnings+. never drive, no matter how little alcohol is in you folks!!! never!!! making out, creampiè, hooking up with a stranger, ovèrstimulation, mildly rough sèx, gojo won't tell you what his job is
word count. 9.4k! song inspiration. apt — rosé & bruno mars
a/n. reader lowkey a hater, i love vanilla vodka eggnog </3 i said i was gonna post on 02/12 and i kept my word, literally rushed to finished this before my clinical exams in the cardiac ward 😭😭😭😭😭😭 hope y'all stay healthy. your future surgeons are writing gojo smut on tumblr.com
mp3. don't you want me like i want you, baby? don't you need me like i need you now? sleep tomorrow, but tonight, go crazy. all you gotta do is meet me at the apartment (아파트) !
you think your friends would kill you if they knew this was how you were spending christmas eve. not at some glittering holiday party, nor tucked away in a snow-dusted cabin. but here, holed up in a dimly lit bar with an atmosphere so questionable it should come with a warning label alongside a health and safety audit.
the place had charm, if your definition of charm included scuffed floors, a jukebox stuck on 'last christmas' and a string of blinking lights that looked like they'd been thrown at the walls rather than hung. still, you'd swiped a couple of minty candy canes from a jar near the door, which felt like a win.
your phone sat resolutely off in your bag. self-preservation. no instagram, and no tacky mirror selfies from your scumbag ex with the same smirk he'd worn a month ago when you caught him cheating. with someone who had always been 'just a friend, babe!' you weren't keen to let that ruin the rest of the night, though if you were being honest, you had already let it ruin a good chunk of the month.
"another christmas vodka...sour, please," you squint at the messy chalkboard above the bar, where the christmas specials were scrawled in what would barely pass for handwriting.
the bartender gave a single, surly nod. he looked as though he'd rather be anywhere but here, preferably somewhere free of customers nursing post-breakup bitterness like a fine wine.
and so, you found yourself staring at the tall glass now sitting in front of you, studying the rosemary sprig that swayed lazily in the translucent red liquid. a few cranberries bobbed among the ice cubes like they were on some tiny festive raft.
"woah, that one's way too strong for me."
the voice interrupts your private session of wallowing. you turn your head, slowly, to take in the culprit. he-who-hath-disturbed-the-peace. a man sitting close enough to be annoying, but not close enough to invade your personal space.
it takes you a moment to process the stranger, mostly because of the brain freeze from your ill-timed gulp.
"i mean, it's not bad," you shrug, hoping to sound neutral enough that he leaves you be. but then because you just can't leave well enough alone, you gesture at the specials board, "better than...that, at least."
you jab a finger at the chalk-scrawled abomination: vanilla & peppermint vodka eggnog.
the man frowns, a sharp but somehow charming movement that's overshadowed by the dim lights, "hey, i ordered that one."
you blink like a startled bovine, before breaking into a laugh, "my bad. i'm sure it's really fuckin' delicious."
the stranger chuckles too, a soft and low sound that seems more genuine that it has any right to be, "i hope so. otherwise, this is gonna be a long night."
the man finally shifts, casting aside the dim shadows that lay over him, into the blinking string lights. broad shoulders framed by a dark, tailored jacket that hugs him like a second skin. his hair, startlingly white, was pushed back by — wait, was that a blindfold?
you stare longer than you should have, trying to piece the odd sight together. a cosplay? a k-pop idol wannabe, hoping to get recruited for the next bts tour? perhaps, he was blind, hard of sight? you start to open your mouth, wondering how to phrase the intrusive and awkward questions, but he beats you to it.
"i can see you just fine, y'know," he says, his tone laced with amusement.
your cheeks burn at the realisation that he's caught you gawking shamelessly. so you quickly turn back to your drink, suddenly very interested in the cranberries floating in the glass.
the bartender returns, sliding the stranger's drink onto the counter with an audible clink. it was the most obnoxious cocktail that you'd ever seen. a martini glass filled with frothy, pale liquid and crowned with a cinnamon stick that jutted out like the mast of some ridiculous holiday ship.
you watch, mildly horrified, as the man picks up the glass and downs half of it in one confident gulp. he sets it down a satisfied sigh, and a smack of his glossy lips, and you wrinkle your nose involuntarily at the sight.
"i swear it's good," he says with a laugh, catching your expression. his grin is wide, playful. and you find yourself smiling back despite your sour, gloomy mood.
he has a nice smile, you note. not forced nor smug, but genuine. framed by pale pink lips that curl up in an easy, natural way. it was strange though, to look at someone without seeing their eyes.
"i'm gojo, by the way," he offers, his voice smooth and lightly amused once more, as if he'd caught you studying him again.
your gaze drops to his hands, long and slender, tracing the rim of the martini glass. something about the way they move — elegant and deliberate, hold your attention a moment too long for propriety. you quickly snap your focus back to his face, "what brings you here, gojo?"
gojo shrugs, and you can almost imagine him rolling his eyes beneath the blindfold, though you doubt his ire is directed at you, "work, i guess. or maybe i just got bored of going to work."
"they're working you hard, yeah?" you ask, trying for sympathy. employers loved squeezing their workers dry during the holidays. your own boss was proof enough of that, running the office like a sweatshop for santa's unpaid elf labour.
"something like that," gojo says with a scoff, the corners of his mouth quirking up again, "what about you? what brings you here? it's christmas eve, isn't it?"
you sigh, the weight of gauche embarrassment suddenly pressing down as the words spill out before you can stop them, "my ex-boyfriend cheated on me."
gojo's lip curls, the kind of expression that balances perfectly between pity and disgust, "that sucks," he offers. profound and wise, you have to agree as he continues, "you jus' find out or something?"
the question makes you cheeks heat, and you fiddle with the edge of your drink, "no, i've known all month." you gesture vaguely towards your purse, where your phone sat like an unsealed pandora's box, "but he posted...on instagram. and stuff. i'm still, y'know, getting over it."
gojo makes a thoughtful clicking noise with his tongue, "ah, see, i don't do social media. but that sounds rough."
you let out a weak huff, "yeah, well...now i just feel like a loser. my friends told me to go out and have fun, and here i am..." you trail off, downing the rest of your cranberry vodka in a single, decisive gulp. the sting hits your throat, sharp and sour, and you grimace at the burn.
gojo frowns slightly, leaning in just enough that you can hear how his voice softens, "i don't think you're a loser." the sincerity in his tone catches you off guard, pulling your gaze back to him, "it's fair to wallow."
his words hang in the air, and you find yourself smiling, albeit thinly, "that's...really nice of you to say."
gojo hums thoughtfully, "i meant it, i promise. but i can't exactly say i've been there, never really dated anyone."
you blink, openly gaping at the man, "really? you're joking."
it was hard to wrap your head around that. even with the odd blindfold, everything about him screamed 'pounce-worthy'. the broad frame, the charming smile, the striking white hair that looked like it belonged in a kérastase commercial.
gojo laughs at your incredulous expression, "same old work and stuff," he explains with a casual shrug. then his grin fades, tone shifting just enough for you wonder why that feels as though the clouds have covered the light of the moon outside, "always got in the way."
"at least you never had to deal with a breakup," you offer, trying to find some weak, silver lining.
gojo frowns, his pale complexion now tinged with a faint red flush that even the dim bar lights couldn't disguise. was he really that much of a lightweight, or was the eggnog's amaretto content deceptively boozy?
he sighs dramatically, "a friend once left me outside a kfc in shinjuku. then he became a murderer and a cult leader. that felt like a breakup."
"huh," you murmur, staring at the man with a mixture of amusement and faint alarm, wondering if you'd seen any cult leaders on the evening news lately. no, nothing save for the occasional incorrect weather report, a friendly good-looking priest running some scam association, and news reports about an octopus that could predict the lottery, "that's - well, okay..."
you couldn't quite tell if he was joking or not, but gojo seems to shake himself free of the odd reverie. he's running his hand through his shock of white hair, and his grin has returned, slower and a touch softer, "still, your ex must've been crazy. letting go of a pretty girl like you?"
the words land with surprising weight, considering they come from a stranger in a sleazy bar, but it leaves you momentarily stunned. you can feel a blush rising to your cheeks, your heart doing an embarrassing little flip before you manage to get a grip on yourself.
"wow," you laugh, feigning composure as you sip the last remnants of your drink, "smooth."
gojo's smile is wider now, "hah, i call it like i see it," and his lips now curl upwards as he leans in, "and i'm serious. if i had someone like you..."
you laugh again, but this time it's far more unsteady. you wonder if the cranberry vodka is playing with your head, "big words for someone who's never dated. should i be impressed, gojo?"
gojo's chuckle is a deep sound that vibrates in his chest, "i know a good thing when i see it. you don' need to date to know what you want. and i think i want you."
your stomach does a little flip, and you feel all rationality being pounded out of you just from staring at his unfairly gorgeous hands rest on sturdy thighs, "you do flattery well, i'll give you that."
"oh, i don't know about that," gojo says, fiddling with the stem of his glass, "but what'dya say we get out of here? how about my place?"
you blink slowly, and you're aware that your heart (and...nether regions) have already composed an answer before your mind has, "what if you're a serial killer? you're not about to silent night, deadly night me, are you? you haven't killed someone have you?"
for a moment, the man stills but then gojo leans back, "smart girl. asking the right questions. but no, i can at least promise that i'm not a criminal."
you hesitate just for a beat, the words lingering on your tongue, before you let out a breath and shrug, "fine. where's your place?"
"azabu," gojo replies without missing a beat, his tone smooth, like it's the most natural thing in the world.
you gape once more, blinking as you try to process the information. azabu? as in tokyo's ritziest neighbourhood, where a one-bedroom apartment could cost you more than most people's yearly salary? the kind of place where the floors are made of marble, and everyone's shoes are more expensive than your entire wardrobe?
gojo, ridiculously handsome despite looking like a circus runaway, too charming for his own good, and not the type you'd expect to find in a cheap downtown dive bar. definitely not on a christmas eve, at least.
for a split second, you wonder how a man like him even ended up in a place like this. maybe it's some kind of self-imposed penance. or he likes to keep things low-key when he's pretending not to be rich? maybe he's looking to cosplay a succession character?
whatever it is, it's working. not only does gojo have a face carved from marble, now you've got a solid ticket into seeing what a neighbourhood for the top one percent really looks like beyond it's wealthy exterior. maybe, you'll bring back a souvenir.
you wonder whether there's a group of small emotions standing around inside your head, inside-out style. glaring at you as if you're incapable of making good and rational decisions.
well fuck that, you gather yourself and shrug off the small wave of nerves, and loop your purse strap around your finger, "alright," you say, "let's get out of here then."
you don't miss at how the adam apple of gojo's throat bobs for a second, before he downs the rest of his drink in one go, "let's get outta here then."
you follow him out into the cold, your breath fogging in front of you as you try to focus, but the man is tall, like ridiculously so. but when you reach the curb, he turns to face you again, a frown marring his face.
"so, i have a small confession."
i changed my mind and i find you repulsive.
i was paid by your ex to do this, and now i've done enough to get my money.
i'm a serial killer.
you don't know which possibility is worse, "huh, a confession? what is it now?"
gojo chuckles, lifting a hand to the back of his neck, as though he's about to spill a dark secret into the night air, "i don't have a car."
"you've got to me kidding me. how'd you even get down here?"
gojo shrugs, a casual and almost lazy movement. and you feel your gaze lingering on his shoulders. broad, impossibly wide, the dark jacket hugging him in all the right places, like it was tailor-made to showcase just how much he filled it out.
"someone dropped me off. ages ago," like it was the most normal and rational explanation in the world.
your own laugh is short, a little disbelieving, but you pull your silver keys from your purse, "well, i guess i'll have to drive then. but what would you have done if i hadn't been here to save the day?"
gojo steps to the side, opening your own car door for you with a small flourish and exaggerated bow that makes your heart jolt again, "probably teleport back home. maybe fly, since the skies look clear."
what a weird guy. hot, but weird. he seems like the type to dress up with a fake beard and show up as gandalf at the next lord of the rings fan convention.
in the driver's seat beside him, you catch yourself staring too long. your gaze slipping over a model's jawline, the white of his hair being held up by the blindfold. even his vaguely expensive scent is disorienting, pleasant like pine and blackcurrant. but it's also hard not to be amused when he's furrowing teeth into plush pink lips out of concentration, pressing an address into your cracked gps screen.
well, merry christmas to you.
gojo's place is well...how do you say this? gorgeous doesn't quite begin to cover it. he leads you into the building with the ease of someone who knows every inch of it, tossing a casual smile over his shoulder as he swipes a key card to unlock the private elevator, "i tend to move around a bit. or stay in different places. keeps life exciting, don't you think?"
you step into the elevator alongside him, the polished mirrors reflecting the soft glow of gold accents and sleek, modern lines. his hand hovers over the control panel before he presses the button for the top floor. of course, it's the penthouse.
"you move around a lot?" you ask, arching an eyebrow, "what, like a restless billionaire or something?"
gojo smiles, leaning casually against the steel as the elevator begins its smooth ascent, "now you're exaggerating."
the elevator finally dings, and gojo steps aside, offering an exaggerated bow as he gestures for you to exit, "after you, my fair maiden."
you almost scoff at the ridiculousness of it, but there's something so endearing and charming about how he pulls it off, especially when paired with the unfair symmetry of his face.
floor to ceiling windows dominate the far wall, revealing a jaw dropping panorama of tokyo's skyline. the city stretches out in a glittering sea of lights, with the tokyo tower glowing a golden exclamation point against the velvet night sky. the interior is just as impressive, with polished wood floors that gleam in the warm light and a glass dining table that sits beneath a sculptural chandelier. that same faint scent of blackberry and pine lingers in the air, heady almost.
behind you, gojo strolls with an easy and languid grace, tossing his jacket onto an artisan leather armchair. beneath it, his sky blue dress shirt clings just right and rolled up to reveal forearms faintly dusted with pale hair. you think you've momentarily forgotten how words work, and you avert your gaze quickly. though not before catching the faint smile on his lips.
"not bad, huh?" gojo says, heading to the open kitchen as though he's unaware of the effect he's having on a rational and sensible mind such as yourself, "it's no dive bar, but i'll do."
you shake your head, bewildered. trying to process how someone you met in a dingy bar could live somewhere that looks like it belongs in architectural digest. even down to the odd, ancient looking pieces that scatter the wide living room. weird looking artifacts of some sort. maybe he's also a collector? go figure.
"not bad?" you repeat, incredulous, "gojo, this place is incredible."
the man laughs, opening a sleek fridge to grab a bottle of water, "i have good taste," he says with mock modesty, his tone teasing as long fingers twist off the cap, "and a thing for gorgeous views. though, between you and me, i'm not great with heights. ironic, i suppose. paying a fortune for a view i'd rather not get too close to."
he waves a hand vaguely towards the windows, the blindfold still firmly in place.
"so, what's the deal? did you win the lottery, or inherit a fortune. or are you some kinda secret agent who moonlights as a barfly?"
gojo lifts the bottle in mock toast, "let's just say i'm very good at what i do."
you arch a brow, crossing your arms and ignoring the warm flush creeping up your neck, "and what exactly is that?"
"oh, you know. standard stuff. international intrigue, thwarting evil creatures. i even saved a kitten from a tree the other day."
"right, because nothing screams the next member of the avengers like eggnog in a seedy bar."
gojo leans casually against the counter, "even the avengers need a holiday drink now and then. don't knock it." but then he gestures towards the sleek couch, "wait, you can make yourself comfortable, y'know. i'd hate for my guest to think i'm a terrible host."
"terrible host? no, but a mystery man —"
before you can finish, your foot catches on something hard, and you stumble forward with an undignified yelp. gojo reacts instantly, how does he move that fast, and his arm is shooting out to steady you. but glorious gravity and magnificent momentum has other plans.
both of you crash onto the couch, and you find yourself sprawled unceremoniously across his lap. gojo's laugh rumbles low in his chest, and you can feel the warmth of it underneath your palms as you steady yourself, "well, that's one way to get comfortable," he murmurs, voice teasing as his large hand lingers lightly on the curve of your waist.
you prop yourself up slightly, cheeks burning, and glance back at the offending object. your brows knit together when you spot what looks suspiciously like a katana gleaming under the soft light.
"did i just trip on a — hey, what the hell is that?"
gojo interrupts, smoothly extending a long leg to nudge that suspicious object under the nearby coffee table before you can finish, "nothing important," he says breezily, the motion so quick you almost think you imagined it.
his focus shifts back to you, almost guilty, but his fingers are pressing divots into the fabric of your top, "now, where were we? hi."
you blink, caught off guard by how strange it is to feel the searing heat of someone's gaze underneath a blindfold, impossibly intent, "hi yourself," you manage.
for a moment, neither you nor the gorgeous man under you move, and the world feels strangely airless.
but your fingers twitch against the fine linen of his shirt. and before you can second-guess yourself, you reach your hand up to the edge of the silk fabric over his face and you ask, "can i take this off?"
gojo tilts his head, like it's a genuine consideration and you catch the faintest flicker of hesitation. it's fleeting, replaced by a crooked smile as he nods, "go ahead, sweetheart."
your hand rests lightly on the silk, hesitant for only a second before tracing its way to the back of his head. your fingers brush through impossibly soft strands of white hair, and his breath hitches when you find the knot tied neatly to the base of his skull.
you wonder what manner of man gojo is, letting himself be stitched undone by a stranger. but with care, you undo the knot, working deftly and clutching the fabric as you pull the blindfold away.
the blindfold slips free, and for a moment, you're certain you've forgotten how to breathe. bright, piercing blue eyes. framed by thick white lashes blink up at you. the intensity of such an unearthly gaze is softened by something more vulnerable, almost shy. nervous even.
"wow," you murmur without thinking, the word spilling out as gojo's expression shifts, an unguarded openness replacing the playful smirk that you've seen all evening.
your earlier assessment echoes in your mind: k-pop reject wannabe. the recent memory now feels like quite the injustice, a careless slight against a face that defies easy description. each detail of his face is striking, as if some divine hand had taken special care to sculpt him from the fabric of time and space itself.
gojo seems to sense your analysis, and you're sure that he's parted his lips to speak, but whatever he was about to say falters. that faint flush, pale-red like vermillion watercolour bleeding across a canvas, blooms across his cheeks. gojo's hazy gaze flickers for a second, and it sends a thrill through you. he's affected by this, by you.
it's hard to resist the slow smile that curves your lips, light and playful if only to mask the way your own heart is racing, "are you seriously shy now, gojo?"
gojo's expression shifts again almost immediately, as if that subtle invulnerability has been replaced by something sharper, almost indignant. he sits up a little straighter, the movement making you acutely aware of how the hard planes of his body feel beneath you.
"shy? no," gojo says, his voice steady but edged with some need to defend his honour, "i just...don't usually do this. that's all."
there's a sincerity in his words, an almost begrudging honesty that takes you by surprise. you tilt your head, as your murmur, "i don't either."
before you can second-guess yourself, you tilt your head down. pressing your lips to gojo's in a featherlight kiss. his taste is intoxicating, honey and sweet grapes mingling with a hint of that ridiculous vanilla drink from earlier. you pull back almost as quickly as you leaned in, testing the waters.
but your breath catches when you see that the blue of his eyes has deepened, darkened. and his lips, pink-blush and slightly parted, form a quiet and stunned oh!
"cool," gojo manages, his voice rougher than you expected, and you bite back a laugh as you watch him swallow hard.
"huh, cool?" you echo, your amusement bubbling over, "that's it? that's all you've got?"
gojo's grip on your waist tightens, and his hands are now splayed over your spine. anchoring you to him, as his mouth curves into something sly, though his flushed cheeks betray his composure, "compliments to the chef?"
you shift slightly, pressing more of your weight firmly into his lap. though not yet close enough to situate yourself over his groin, delighting in the way gojo's blush spreads down his neck, staining his skin a shade reminiscent of ripe berries swirling in cream.
you can feel gojo's attention as much as you can see it, how his own gaze lingers, deliberate and unhurried. taking you like a masterpiece that deserves more than a cursory glance. the hand that had been steady on your back shifts, his fingers threading through your hair. he watches as the strands slip and fall beneath his touch.
"thought you said you wanted me, gojo," you tease, though you're certain your voice is betraying the way your pulse is doing its best impression of the macarena in your jugular, "are y'gonna do something or not?"
gojo's gaze snaps back to you, a flicker of something far more intense passing through those impossibly blue eyes. full of hunger, need even. the hand in your hair slides away, only to settle at your jaw. it's warm and steady, his thumb brushing slightly over the plush of your bottom lip.
"i do want you," gojo says, his voice low and steady and maddeningly genuine, "want you to kiss me again. and again. as many times as you want until i forget my own name."
"gojo —"
"satoru," he interrupts, his voice cracking slightly, stripped of any previous swagger. it's unsteady and raw, affected in a way that excites you. sends a dark heat curling low between your thighs, "you can call me that."
"satoru," you repeat softly, letting the syllables fall from your lips, unfurling in the most hazy way.
something within the man shifts. his hand tightens on your waist, dragging you closer in a way that punches the air from your lungs. right over -
oh. the thick, curve of his erection straining against slacks that probably cost more than your monthly salary. it's deliberate, almost desparate at how the invisible thread snapped inside him. unravelled the careful composure he's been clinging to until now.
"go on," gojo murmurs, his voice dark with need, "kiss me again, please."
you lean closer, eyes flickering to his lips, and your pulse roaring in your ears, "who would i be to deny you any wish, satoru?" the words come out more reverent that you'd expected, as if your entire world has been tilted off its axis.
and then you kiss him, hard. desparate. as if his lips are your birthright, a homeland to claim. and gojo's kissing you back, carrying a sweetness that seems both foreign and familiar. in an instant, the weight of another man, a dreary haze in your past, vanishes. gojo is suddenly everything you didn't know you needed, vibrant and electrifying.
"let me know if it's too much," gojo breathes against your lips, his voice shaky as if he's trying to tether himself to the earth. but your kiss deepens, frantic and unrestrained. his mouth moves against yours with a hunger that sends sparks down your spine, and you suddenly realise you quite like the taste of vanilla when it's dripping from his open kisses.
you pull away, for every human needs air. but the sight before you has you clenching your thighs desperately around the bulge where you sit atop. gojo's gaze is heavy, full of that desparate longing that makes your chest ache. his lips are swollen, a soft cherry hue from your kisses. and strands of white hair fall over his blue eyes.
"look what you've done to me, fuck. miss you already," gojo murmurs, and before you can respond, he surges forward, hands pressing against your face with the intensity of a storm. one hand reaches to find the nape of your neck, letting you surrender to the heat of this touch.
you crave more, so much more from gojo, who's taking you in like you're his last breath, his final indulgance. it's as if he's found a new devotion in you, ready to worship you at the alter of your false godhood. but before you can part your mouth to tell him exactly what you and where, gojo's hands are already sneaking under your top, brushing against the trembling skin of your torso.
his teeth are biting down on your lip, leaving you dizzy. and gasping, and so damp in your panties as the fabric of your top is peeled away, and you're left shivering, fighting against the cold of the december air. you find yourself pressing harder into the warmth of his chest, letting the swell of your chest press flat against him.
"shoulda' turned the heat on before we came in," gojo murmurs, breathless as his lips hover a mere centimetre away from yours, "got nothin' to worry about, sweetheart. i'll keep you warm."
"didn't t-think i'd spend christmas eve like this," you gasp, your head lolling to the side as gojo presses open-mouthed kisses to the soft arc of your neck, sensitive even to the cool air.
"no?" gojo's reply is breathy, almost frantic as if he's fumbling in the heat of the moment and has little grasp over the words tumbling out of his mouth, "neither did i. but this? b-better than any fuckin' mission they could've sent me on."
you cock your head, feeling the heat of his clothed cock underneath your thighs, "m-mission, huh? what are you talking about - mmph!" but the rest of the question never escapes your lips for it's swallowed up by another one of gojo's candied kisses.
his rough hands work deftly, finding the clasp of your bra with ease. a pretty crimson thing, almost sheer as it caught the light. and in the centre, a tiny satin bow sat like the final touch on a perfectly wrapped gift. you had only worn it half-heartedly earlier in the morning, some forced christmas cheer for your dreary day ahead.
the look on gojo's face was anything but composed, staring at your cupped tits like you'd knocked the air out of him and his chest rose and fall as though he were remembering how to breathe. in a single fluid motion, your bra is unhooked. the faint metallic click barely audible over the pounding in your chest and he's tossing it aside with a casual flick, his focus entirely on you.
you find yourself mesmerised by his eyes, those swirling pools of blue that seem to have stolen fragments of the sky itself, clouds brushed into cerulean depths with strokes of syrupy smoothness. they're breathtaking, but the thought shatters as gojo's canines graze the flesh of your breasts, a sharp and teasing nip that pulls a gasp from your lips. leaves you rocking sharply against his erection, making him throw his head back, ragged.
the playful string blooms into a flush of heat, and gojo's at it again, his mouth working to leave faint red marks in its wake. you squeal, half in surprise and half in helpless laughter (and entirely in a lusty haze) but gojo only pulls back enough to murmur, "what? can't help myself."
but then he peers at you abruptly, his lips parted as he catches his breath, "wait. do you wanna —?" and gojo tilts his snowy hair towards the shadowy doorway that leads out of the living room, the implication clear even through his panting.
you nod, breathless, "yeah, jus' help me up."
without hesitation, a strong arm slides around your waist, and before you know it, you're being swept into a semi-bridal carry, and your head is resting against the fabric of his dress shirt. not a bad feeling, one you could get used to.
at the doorway, gojo lets out a low 'shit!', nudging the door open with his foot. the faint sound of clattering follows as he kicks something out of the way. you glance down from your entirely too comfortable vantage point, spotting a smattering of cheap tinsel, all glittering in metallic silver and gold, tangled with round baubles that glisten faintly under the dim light.
some have little smears of glue, and uneven glitter patches, as if crafted by unsteady hands, but with earnest effort.
"you big on christmas or something?" you tease, delighting in how the tips of his ears light up like nose of a famous reindeer.
gojo freezes for a moment, almost sheepish as he clears a path, clearly trying to look as macho as possible as he gingerly pushes aside a string of green lights, "made those for my students," he mutters, "thought they'd like them in the classroom tomorrow."
your laugh grows louder, and gojo's brows furrow, his tone growing defensive, "it's a nice surprise for the classroom!"
"i'm not making fun of you!" you insist, leaning up to press a gentle, soothing kiss to the hollow of his collarbone, "it's sweet. i think it's really nice, actually. wait, you're a teacher?"
gojo's mouth quirks up in a faint smile, "something like that," he says cryptically, finally clearing a decent and hazard-free path into a sleek, and clean bedroom. it's all modern space, all clean lines in shades of cream and white, and navy.
gojo sets you down gently, and the plush fabric cradles you as your back lands on fresh linen. and for a quiet, tender moment, you're both caught in the stillness. gojo kneels at the edge of the bed, his hands resting lightly on each of your thighs as if he's anchoring himself there.
his gaze is steady, content, maybe even adoring in a way that feels too intimate for someone who you barely know. there's a warmth in his expression, like he's savouring the sight of you, searching for something — and he's found exactly what he's hoped for.
almost without thinking, you lift a hand, cupping the sides of his face. his skin is warm beneath your palm, soft with the faintest hint of pale stubble that seems to fade into his skin. the moment your hands makes contact, gojo leans into your touch instinctively, his white lashes fluttering closed.
"hey, 'toru," you murmur softly, "y'still with me?"
gojo's eyes snap open at the sound of that, sharp and bright, as if the nickname itself has sparked a challenge in him. a low and almost frustrated sound escapes from the back of his throat, and he presses a feather-light kiss to the inside of your knee.
you don't miss at how his teeth sink into his bottom lip again, worrying and working the plush flesh like he's trying to steady himself. spreading your weeping thighs aside, as his gaze is fixed on something. intense, unwavering. the sheer focus of it making heat creep up your neck.
at how he must be staring hungrily at damp, sheer red fabric that clings to the outline of your cunt. at how it must shimmer almost translucently now, the sticky slick of your arousal enhancing the gloss, making your panties glisten under the light.
you're feeling an unfamiliar kind of shy under the weight of his attention, at how he must see how the fabric clings closely to your puffy, swollen folds — the delicate weave exposing the shape of your taut pussy, practically weeping for his touch.
you needn't have asked, for gojo was already diving into deliver.
he's gliding his index finger over your dripping pussy, letting the tangy syrup sink onto his fingers, leaning in to press a sweet, almost innocent kiss to your clothed cunt, "she seems desperate for me, don'tcha think, heh?"
the sound of the fabric ripping is sharp and wet, a squelching and almost fleshy tone, a sound that's both soft and sharp to the blood rushing between your ears. a strained tear of your beautiful panties, leaving cool air to gently leave a kiss of its own upon your cunt.
you gape at him, a bit too stunned to find coherent words, "hey, what the f-fuck! those were like super expensive!"
gojo rolls his eyes, the kind of look that has a bit too much attitude for someone who's practically begging on his knees for a taste of you, "don't get all huffy on me, sweetheart. 'm gonna buy you more, is tha' alright?"
"i'll r-remember that, satoru," you murmur, giving a sharp tug at his white strands, "you gon' have to give me your number now."
gojo shudders, the muscles in his back rippling underneath his tight shirt, "was already gonna," and he's back to pressing soft, kitten licks to your now exposed folds, small circles over your throbbing clit.
you buck your canting hips closer to the heat of his mouth, to where the pink tip of his teasing tongue peeks out of a pretty mouth, "satoru, c'mon. can't you just, fuck—"
you sharply cry out as he presses his mouth forward, a sudden surge of heat jolting through you. burying himself deep, his nose brushing against the sweet, syrup that coats your pussy, and the rhythmic, wet movements of his tongue send shivers through your entire being.
"mhm, jus' as sweet as you look, baby," gojo gasps, swirling and flicking his tongue, teasing you with every deliberate patter of the muscle near your winking entrance. so messy, slick and you're not sure where he ends and you begin as it all glides together carnally.
gojo seems languidly tipsy, just from munching through the gloss of your cunt, far more intoxicated from your taste than any cheap christmas liquor. he alternates between pushing his tongue past the ring of your tight walls, and then wrapping his lips around the searing pulse of your clit, leaving your hips shaking and dragging over his mouth, smearing yourself over his chin.
you're fisting delicate white locks with fierce urgency, and he hisses and then chuckles into your pussy, "tch! ease up there for me, yeah? jus' move your hips like you were doin' before," and you comply, angling yourself better so he can flatten his tongue against your folds, jaw grinding deeper into you "hah, yeah, just like that."
"taking good care of you though, aren't i? wait, say it. say that 'm making you feel good," and he's bullying a long finger into your gummy walls, clingy and sopping, "say 'm making you feel better than a-anyone ever has," and you just mewl as your arousal must surely be dripping down his forearms, staining the cuffed sleeve of his shirt as he takes your sweet juices down his throat.
there's stars beginning to twinkle at the edge of your vision, and you know you must be close, for your heart is practically dancing a heavy beat against your ribcage, and you suddenly push his mouth away, watching as a clear strand of spit or your slick forms a taut bridge between his mouth and your folds.
"w-wait, satoru, s-stop."
gojo's head lifts, eyes blinking as if coming out of a faze. but then, like a switch, something sharp flickers behind his gaze and concern floods in. his thin brows furrow slightly, glossy lips parting as he reaches out, as if to steady your hips, "you okay, sweetheart? what's wrong?"
your heart stutters, pounding so loudly you're sure he can hear it. you try to steady your breathing, but the tremour in your fingertips betray you as they gently slide through your hair, the silky strands tangling around your hand.
"nothin' wrong, 'toru. but i was gonna cum," and gojo's face, still flushed and soft with arousal, splits into a shy, amused grin.
"hah, i know. that's what i wanted," he's close enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath hitting your aching cunt, but you shake your head again.
"feels unfair, wanna see you too. wan' you to cum in me,"
you watch, almost in awe, as a low and guttural sound escapes gojo satoru, raw and unfiltered. gojo runs his tongue over his lips, his eyes dark with something dangerously close to hunger.
"you sure?" and his voice is hoarse, unsure despite his roaming gaze. you nod, your hands digging into his shoulder, tugging at the crisp fabric of his dress shirt, desparate to feel the warmth of his skin underneath.
his shaky laugh of disbelief only makes you more aroused, whining for him to hurry up, and before you know it, he's standing up, towering over your boneless form on the sheets.
"how could i deny you anything?" he murmurs, echoing your earlier words. gojo's hands reach for the hem, the fabric shifting as he pulls it over his head, revealing a milky expanse of toned skin, smooth and taut over a set of abs that should easily land him on a gq list.
his waist is slender, defined in all the right places, and the soft taper of muscles make your breath catch. but the soft white trail of hair that reaches under his waistband makes your cunt clench.
"y'seem happy with the view, don'tcha?" gojo's voice is teasing, the cocky smirk tugging at his lips, but you can hear the impatience threading his tone now too. he's not as in control as he lets on, his hands now making quick work of his belt, leaving your mouth dry when he finally pushes his black boxers down.
you should have known that his cock would be as pretty and unfairly gorgeous as the rest of him. he's circling the strawberry-red tip, glowering and throbbing, right over your gathered slick, coating it and smacking the mushroom head in a thwack! over your poor clit, leaving you jolting as he laughs and leans down to kiss you sweetly once more.
"jus' look at me, yeah?" his drawl is slow, lazy and so ruined. at the first inch of his throbbing cock that slips through your walls, he looks utterly undone. a mess of sharp edges softened by something far more primal and raw.
gojo's head tips back, exposing the elegant line of his neck as the moonlight cascades over you, "hey, sweetheart, 's not too much, yeah?"
hazy blue eyes bore into you, and for a brief moment, in the time it takes for the lightning to strike the earth, you swear that his eyes glow. almost radiant and jewel-like, with cerulean fractals shimmering as if they're emitting life of their own. perhaps its simply the electrifying stretch of inches that's rendering you to hallucinate, whining as your nails find purchase in milky skin and rippling shoulders.
"i-it's big, 'toru," you pant, feeling him almost shudder at the clipped name again, as he grips the base of his cock to bully the final inch in, sighing in contentment as he finally bottoms out, with a wet pop!
gojo looks feral like this, heaving a breath through his mouth as though the air is being taken from him from every second he spends stretching you out on his fat shaft, "hah, 'm glad, i'm so glad i met you tonight, sweetheart. fuck, fuck, y'feel i-incredible."
he's pushing your thighs further back, running his hands over the plush skin, leaving bruising red prints that won't disappear tomorrow as you moan, wanton into his open mouth, letting gojo run his lips down your jaw and into the curve of your neck.
you're practically now folded in half under the bulk of his weight, feeling stars collide in absolutely astrophysical ways, impaled further on the long and thick length of his cock, "in so deep, s-satoru."
seems that gojo is a man of little mercy, for he seems only all the more invigorated by your squeals, drawing his torso back to watch the hypnotic smack of skin on skin, of your slick and creamy froth creating fresh rings over his pistoning cock.
he's entirely out of control, as you feel your body go limp from the pleasure shooting through every nerve and pore.
depraved.
you don't realise you might have let that slip out loud, so dizzy in your cockdrunk haze because gojo's suddenly ramming himself roughly in you, as though he was desperate to have his cock kiss your cervix, to feel for every divot and nook of your cunt's walls.
"d-depraved, hah. people call me, fuck, p-people call me a lotta things, sweetheart," and gojo's so good with it, letting your pussy have not even one moment to take reprieve, having you feel each vein and bulge of his cock, "but depraved is n-new."
the hand that was dancing over your thighs flies to your swollen, aching clit. practically glistening for his attention, and his attention you did receive, "right, t-there! 'toru, mmph!" you're trying to splay your legs wider, giving his quick hand more room to swirl tight circles where you needed him most.
your double-vision gaze lingers on the ripple of his muscles, the way his arms flex and shift as he seems intent on angling you just right for him to drill his cock over and over, at some freakish and feverish pace, "y'so good, gojo," you purr, and your nails curl against his arms, pressing just enough to leave tiny crescents in his skin, the faint dampness of his exertion clinging to him, "s-so strong!"
something shifts. the glow is back, electric blue flooding his eyes like crackling storm clouds. it's almost unnerving, this unearthly brightness, as if he's some ancient god wrapped up in human skin, and you've just stumbled into a divine revelation.
gojo stills for the briefest moment, the thick head of his cock snagging on your puffy folds as he draws himself almost entirely out. the absence of motion makes you whine, an airy and impatient sound escaping your throat. that hesitation feels like a tease, like a string that's been pulled so taut, before he finally dives forward, capturing your mouth in a messy, heated kiss. sloppy in its disregard.
"s-so strong, huh?" gojo's voice is rough, shaky, as though he's trying to centre himself but your tight pussy holds him in hypnotic sway, "y-you think so? think i'm the strongest?" his lips brush yours as he speaks, and there's something almost boyish and charming in the way that he seems to be fishing for a compliment, despite the low heat in his voice.
you pull back from his wet, spit-stringed lips. just enough to wrap your hands around his neck and push him closer, deeper into you as he gutturally groans, "if i s-say yes, are y'gonna keep showing off?"
gojo's laugh is short, breathless, "y-yeah, wanna see?"
he makes quick work of pushing himself back into you, pumping himself so far in that your slick must be painting and sopping the white hairs at the base of his cock almost translucent, "o-oh my god, 'toru, fuck, oh my god!" the stretch has your head spinning, as if the skies are parting above you, and you're melodramatically left to see the light of divinity as gojo bucks his hips harshly into you. as if he's too far gone, needs to prove himself to you with a good fuck.
"you h-have to say it," gojo stutters, his words tumbling out so quickly, like rough gravel, "say it, fuck, c'mon. say i'm — say i'm the s-strongest. you have to, hnghh, god. please, jus' agree, okay?" his voice is cracking, that cocky veneer entirely shattered under the weight of his rambling desperation as he practically rummages through your sopping insides, "y-you feel it right, i mean, you can feel me — i mean."
a high whine escapes your throat as his pace becomes almost olympian, and you wonder faintly how you haven't managed to sprain a muscle or break a bone yet, how he hasn't managed to shatter something with the sheer pace and force of how gojo satoru fucks, "hah, 'toru. i'm —"
"close? g-god, i hope so. 's what i want. nothing, like n-nothing feels better than this right?" his words are falling out of him in a messy, pussydrunk rush, his eyes flickering between your face and down to where your pussy lips are bulged around his shaft, "so good, right? the b-best thing you've ever —"
you truthfully don't even hear the rest of his words, blood absolutely roaring and rearing in your ears, your ribcage as you feel the tight coil snap, letting out short, slurred snaps of his name when you cum. as he doesn't quite let up on smacking his hips right against your ass, "s-satoru, 's getting s-sensitive, oh, fuck. fuck!"
he's suddenly whining, with pleading and erratic blue eyes chasing after you, sloppily pushing down so he can gasp and pant into your open mouth, before capturing you in a heart-stopping kiss as he finally gets milked dry by your pulsing and fluttering walls. in awe of how creamy white is practically leaking out of you, dripping a stringy trail over the flesh of your thighs.
you're agape at how utterly fucked he looks right now, though you're certain you do not look much better as fat tears prick at your eyes, streaming past your ears from the overstimulation, "s-still fillin' me up, 'toru. god, do ya always cum this much?"
at first, you don't even get a response from gojo who just sinks his teeth into the juncture of your neck, almost as if he's trying not to cry out, but then he's back to circling your clit with a rough hand, "makin' me sound like some kinda whore, s-sweetheart. 'n and i told you. don't do this m-much."
and now he's slowing down, pleasurably painful bucks of his hips keeping glossy, white seed in you. ensuring that it coats your entire entrance, "an' it's not my fault that she," and here, he gives your clit a small smack! grinning like a madman, "n-not my fault that she's so, hah, addictive."
each tight circle of his hand on your clit sends you hurtling into yet another orgasm, one that has you begging gojo for mercy, repreive, for more. an orgasm that has him whispering the sweetest nothings into your ear, "d-don't worry, gotcha like this. gonna let you rest n-now, jus' gotta relax for me."
by the time he's slipping his still somehow hard cock out of your creamed cunt, you can feel exhaustions heavy and caring hands caress you, rendering your body limp and boneless. your eyes heavy and hazy, but you can feel a soft ghost of gojo's kiss over the shell of your ear, "h-hope y'still here in the morning, sweetheart. don't leave, yeah?"
the morning sunlight filters through the blinds, and despite the ache in your limbs that cricks your bones, you drag yourself out of bed. christmas day, after all. you've thrown on gojo's dress shirt from last night, snug enough to flutter around your hips, but oversized enough around the shoulders to let you drown in it.
it's cozy though, and even the chilly air feels refreshing against the warmth clinging to you. gojo is still sound asleep, and you had smiled at how he took little puffs of air as he was passed flat out in bed. but you always like to be up early on christmas, and there's something about the holiday that makes you feel like you need to earn the right to nap later.
you wander around the bedroom for a bit, stretching your legs as your muscle protest in earnest. eventually, you decide to make your way to that kitchen. breakfast, right.
it seems like a good idea, especially considering the last thing in your stomach was a questionably sour vodka. so you pull open the fridge, expecting something befitting of this apartment. perhaps a slab of wagyu beef, a tin of caviar, a thick block of pistachio-cream dubai chocolate. you'd even settle for sushi.
instead, you're left staring back at a stack of candy canes, some strawberry yoghurt, a carton of milk and some fast food wrappers. despite your protesting stomach, a deep amusement washes over you. it doesn't surprise you that gojo would have a fridge stocked with food you'd find at a child's birthday party and a greasy diner.
still, breakfast is in order and because you can't help it, you pull out a candy cane and start unwrapping it. you're just about take a bite when you hear the unmistakable pad of footsteps. you turn, face to face with someone who would clearly not be out of place on a vogue covershoot.
gojo hasn't tossed on a shirt, and the sunlight filters over his chiselled physique before your sight is stolen by the loose sheet wrapped around his waist. delicious. you try to snap your gaze back to his face, but it's hard to not track your gaze down his torso, like a cat eyeing a particularly irresistible sunbeam.
"good morning to you too," gojo says, a grin curling his lips, "what are you doing?" his voice is still thick with interrupted sleep, laced with a morning rasp that forces you to ground yourself and stop falling prey to the god, eros and his machinations.
"breakfast, 'm starving."
"don't bother," gojo says, shaking his head, "we can go somewhere nice for breakfast. like real, actual food. don't think you want half-eaten yoghurt."
you nod enthusiastically, mind turning back to the peeling seal of the strawberry yoghurt with a spoon sticking out of it. but then, something else catches your mind's attention. a little curiosity piques, one that you cannot help but ask him.
"wait," you begin, snapping your teeth around the saccharine mint of the candy cane, "y'know what's crazy. like, i swear your eyes glowed last night. not even in a silly compliment way, but like electricity. i thought i was like, losing it.'
you expect gojo to brush it off with a wink, or maybe laugh it off like you're just teasing him. but instead, the man's face shifts, that cocky smile faltering for the briefest moment. it's gone so fast that you think you almost imagined it. but why does he look...almost guilty?
before you can process that, you realised you've leaned yourself over the counter, and in your absent-mindedness, your elbow presses a button on the answering machine. a small beep, and suddenly, a voice blares through the room,
"hey, gojo-sensei!" comes a high-pitched, distinctly teenage voice, an excited boy who sounds a little crackly over the speaker, "so, we found this grade one curse yesterday...and uh, we totally got rid of it. we were gon' call you, but you didn't pick up. but i almost got my arm torn off. wait, no! that sounds dramatic, i got shoko to look at it anyway. so what we're all wondering right is that we don't have to hand in any homework now right? as like reparations?"
the voice crackles off, leaving an eerie silence in its wake. you stand there, absolutely dumbstruck, staring at the answering machine like it's about to burst into flames or start singing christmas carols.
gojo, meanwhile, has the most awkward look on his face, clearly caught between embarrassment...and what? panic, amusement?
"satoru, what the fuck?"
he looks at you for a moment, but instead of speaking, he lets out a long and exasperated sigh before pulling out one of the counter chairs, "you're gonna want to sit down for this one, sweetheart."
#gojo satoru#gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk#jjk smut#works#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#gojo x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#i love writing gojo and comparing him to fresh berries and cream 🍓😙#daphworks
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I'm your only situationship.
A/N : yall i stayed up til 324 am writing this. I felt like if i went to bed still only having it as a thought and not on 'paper' thats unacceptable. If i gotta think about this then so do yall! it was also supposed to be a small one shot but it got wildly out of hand im not sorry.
18+ MDNI
TW: typical smut, EXPLICIT mmkay im talkin clutch ur pearls explicit.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
Simon had finally come home from a grueling 6-month mission. All he wanted was some Kentucky bourbon with you at your favorite seedy bar.
Once he was home, Simon cleaned up, put on a black clinical mask, and sent a text to you to meet him there. As he finished his first glass of the night, a rather attractive young woman approached him, asking if she could buy him a drink.
“Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around, lovie?”
“Not at all. This is after all the 21st century. I’m simply asking— wouldn’t want any missus at home getting upset.”
“There’s no one at home for me, lass.”
“Well then, how about you get yourself another glass, my treat, and we’ll see where this night takes us?”
He slightly nodded —he’d never say no to a free drink— and as she left to order a drink, he took his phone out to text you again.
“C’mon, pet. I’ll cover the tab. Too good f’me, now?”
His phone vibrated a minute later.
“I can’t today, Si.”
“Why not? I know you don’t go out on Sundays.”
As the young woman came back, drinks in hand, he lifted the screen to read your response.
“I’ve got a dick appointment~ It’s been a year and then some and I’m gonna claw at my walls if I don’t get a fix ASAP.”
Simon goes tense— soft blues hardening to a silver and he’s gripping his phone so hard it might crack. He pulls up your contact and calls you within seconds.
“Hiya, Si!”
“What the fuck is a dick appointment?”
“Oh,” you giggle. “I forget you older folk don’t know ‘bout that. It’s just a one-night fling. No commitments or nothin'.’ Exactly what I need right now.” You don’t tell him that the reason you’ve practically regrown your hymen is that when you’re best friends with Simon, every other male in existence pales in comparison.
“Anyway Si-, he’s getting here in like an hour-”
“No.” And hangs up.
The young woman who’s casually rubbing his bicep and shoulder gets practically flung off of him, as he gets up off the bar stool so fast it’s falling back with a loud clang, and he’s yanking his leather jacket on and pulling on his leather gloves so hard they’re about to become fingerless—
“Hey! I thought you didn’t have a girlfriend?!”
One gloved hand gripping the front door, he turns his head slightly to her and says, “Pet, with how good I’m gonna fuck her, she won’t even have to ask to know she’s mine.”
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
You’re standing in the bathroom with your liquid eyeliner in one hand and phone in the other, staring at the ended call screen. ‘Weird,’ you think, then shrug and put the phone down. ‘Maybe the call got dropped.’
You finally complete the look with your false lashes when there’s a very hard knock on your door. You frown as you look at your phone screen. ‘7:14 pm’. You know the guy said at 8 and you’re in one of Simon’s big shirts he always forgets and your hair is still tied up in an oversized pink and white polka dot scrunchie— The pink leopard print booty shorts you’ve got on will suffice.
The second time there’s a knock it’s even louder.
“Jesus Christ, I’m coming!”
You open the door and say, “I’m sorry I took so long, I—”
Simon flies past you, with a rough shoulder bump and you turn to look at him and he’s almost sprinting to the bedroom, slamming the door open—
“Simon, what the fuck? What’re you doin—”
“Where is he?”, he snarls.
“Who?! Are you talking about my date? He’s not getting here til 8! And why’re you slamming doors in my apartment like you pay my rent?!”
You see Simon deflate immediately at the important part of your answer and chooses to ignore the rest as he takes off his jacket and walks to your hall closet to hang it. Closing your door and locking it, you growl out,
“You need to leave. I haven’t even finished getting ready. I promise I’ll—”
“No, pet.”
“Will you quit interrupting me! Simon, I swear—”
“Pet.”
You’re holding a scream behind your teeth, about to rip the hair out of your scalp when you see Simon take one loop of his mask off from around his ear and then the other. You gape. You’ve seen Simon without his mask— that isn’t the reason you can no longer find your voice. It’s the way he put his gloved middle finger in between his teeth and pulled it off so sensually. You can feel your cheeks and ears radiate heat from just seeing the tip of his pink tongue. Christ, you’re down horrendously.
You open your mouth to say something, anything, to distract yourself from the fact that you’re getting wet over an interaction so chaste when Simon is touching your ass, giving it a hard squeeze, before moving down to the back of your thighs and lifting you up. You startle at the movement and throw your arms around his neck out of habit, hoping he won’t drop you in the move to your bedroom.
He presses you against the wall with his hips, then grabs both of your ankles from behind his lower back and hooks the back of your knees over his forearms. Simon noses your jaw and starts grinding his clothed erection deliciously hard over the definitely wet spot on your shorts and growls out,
“If you think,” grind “that I’m gonna allow My,” grind “Girl,” grind—and you whimper in his ear, “get fucked by some little cock two pump chump,” he gives a forced chuckle, “you must be daft, pet. Or maybe you’re doing it on purpose, eh? Trying to get my attention? Well, you’ve got it now. “
He moves his face to hover his lips over yours— you can lightly smell the bourbon he drank earlier— and he whispers, “You ever like this and I’m around, you come to me. And if I’m away, you wait for me like a good girl and when I come back I’ll give this,” he taps your pussy over your shorts, “greedy little cunt all the cock it can take.”
With a shaky breath, you nod before he kisses you, his bourbon-flavored tongue curling against yours, and you’re moaning into it because you’ve wanted this for too long and he’s finally touching you. Curling your fingers into his ash-brown hair, you move your mouth to his neck, to the right of his adam’s apple, took a bit of skin between your teeth and sucked.
Simon hisses, dips his fingertips into your flesh hard enough to bruise, and all but yanks you off the wall to toss you onto your bed.
You yelp as you bounce from the force of his throw— you’re still bouncing on the bed when Simon grabs the waistband of your shorts and knickers to pull right off, which you’re grateful for because the grey knickers you got on aren’t what anyone would wear for a first, second nor third impression.
Simon grabs both of the back of your knees with one hand, goddamn bear paws, you think, before you feel his tongue in between your lips— so warm and wet and fuck, you needed this, needed him— and he flicks his tongue up and down on your clit. He sticks his long middle finger into you and it goes in without resistance, you’re slippery, drooling over his wrist and finger that’s curled up into the rough patch of nerves against your gummy walls, that he’s pressing into, over and over. God you’re about to come, your legs shake in his one-handed hold and you’ve got a white knuckle grip on the forearm you’re sinking your nails into—
Simon pulls away. You were so close, your eyes start watering because he can’t possibly be this mean to you but then you see him shove his tongue in between his middle and ring finger, eating up your nectar when he says, “The first time I’m gonna make you come, it’ll be on my cock. I want to see the frothy white cream you're gonna leave at the base.”
You’re nodding hysterically at this point, anything for him to make you come, anything for him. With a twirl of his index, he’s telling you to get on all fours. Scrambling, you turn over and arch your back— resting your head on your forearms— and you feel his calloused palms run down from your spine to your ass cheeks before he gives it a spank.
“You have a condom?”
You shake your head and you mewl out, “No, but I’m clean.”
“Good. I don’t want anything between us.”
You arch your back further, pressing your ass further into his hips when you hear his belt buckle clank and zipper open. Simon brings his palm to your other cheek, reddening it.
“Fuckin’ hell, pet. Look at you spread out for me.”
You feel warm velvet over steel over your slit before he slowly pushes inside, not all the way but about a little over half of his length, remembering that your g-spot is a little closer to the front. Fast, relatively shallow thrusts hitting your spot with almost clinical precision have you reeling, your orgasm about to break you, mind and body. Hands tightening painfully, you shatter— loud, high-pitched whines, ringing in your ears and pussy pulsing around Simon’s thick girth— and god, Simon doesn’t stop thrusting. He keeps the same smooth rhythm and you’d think he’s unaffected by the tight vice your pussy has him in— but you hear him, low, deep groans and a tighter grip on your hips telling you otherwise.
He pulls out to bend over your back, completely covering it, and he murmurs in your ear, “I hope you didn’t think we were done. My girl wanted a fuckin’, now she’s gonna get it.”
He takes off your pink, silly scrunchy and you see it around his tattooed wrist before he grabs your hair into a makeshift ponytail and is leaning back up and forcing your back to arch under his pull. You feel his leg at the height of your hips— propped up, foot flat on the bed and knee bent and the other straight on the floor and all you can think of is how this man is gonna kill you with his cock.
Simon snaps his hips forward, fist full of hair pulling back, stretching and filling in one strong thrust, bottoming out. He gives you no reprieve, no time to get used to how fucking deep he is, and sets an intense, firm pace that has you feeling a pinch below the navel every time his hip bones slap against your ass, balls to the clit and you love it. Every pinch in your lower belly has your pussy making a squelching sound and you can’t help yourself— you reach underneath your body to feel how split open you are with two fingers, encasing his cock and feeling the skin drag with them as he pulls out.
That has him hissing air between his teeth, he’s about to come but doesn't want it to be over so he pulls out, and opens your cheeks to spit in your furled hole, before pressing in with the pad of his thumb, and you’re almost screaming. He moves back a bit further to spit in your pussy, not that you need it— you’re drenching the sheets underneath you— and now he’s spearing you with his tongue before curling it, getting your juices pooled on it before coming back up, lips smacking, and he grabs your hair in his ponytail and now he uses his other hand to curls his fingers and palm over the front of your throat and that's all it takes for your vision to darken and arms go limp but he’s again, fucking you through your orgasm and this time you leave a creamy white ring at the base of his length.
“Oh, fuckin hell.” He groans out and it sounds desperate and you know he’s close.
“Come in me, Simon. Please fill me up, I promise I’ll keep it all in.”
He gives a strained chuckle and says, “Pet, I can barely pull out of a driveway much less this tight little cunt.” He squeezes your throat hard, strands of hair popping out of your scalp and his cock feels massive, the pinch in your stomach feels like a cramp from how deep he is and he lets out a low drawn out moan that lasts 3 thrusts— and then there’s warmth filling you up, so much so it leaks from the sides of where you two are connected. Simon lets go of your hair and you fall face-first onto the bed, exhausted. Defeated. Back properly broken. You officially know what it’s like to get fucked within an inch of your life and you love it.
He pulls out slowly, with a hiss from both of you and with one hand on your left cheek, he spreads you to look at your stuffed hole.
“Fuck. I love seeing me drip out of you.”
You’re about to tell him to sod off when the doorbell rings and the both of you stiffen and lock eyes. With a mean snarl, Simon grabs a towel from your bathroom and his mask before stomping his way to answer the door, pink obnoxious scrunchy still on his wrist.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#cod smut#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley smut#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost x you#ghost cod#cod mwii#ghost mw2#ghost simon riley#call of duty smut
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Finally taking the time to organize all my notes from post-bacc and grad school today🫡🫡🫡
#text#I have so much to go through…but it’ll be much easier to find things in the end…#I’m just gotta keep separe binders by types of disorders for now..#so voice—articulation—cognition—language—hearing etc.#im gonna need to clear space in my bookshelf as well..#gonna start on my voice notes first since I have clinic next semester#we’ll see how long this takes me lol#but I gotta get my shit in order before the semester starts
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look who’s back ;P
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ baseball player!schlatt x physiotherapist!reader, mentions of injuries, a lot of bickering, not proofread. english is not my first language.
“Where is he?!” You borderline scream as you enter the locker room, the sea of (luckily clothed, save for a couple shirtless ones) players turning their heads over to where you and the nurses stood at the door.
To your right, you heard the unmistakable and ever so insufferable sound of a gravel, low chuckle. Your head whipped in its direction, fire burning behind your dilated pupils as your eyes found his. Standing by the entrance to the showers (mistake number one, not supposed to put any weight on his left leg), a damp towel thrown over his shoulder and another one wrapped around his hips (mistake number two, no full body showers, no wetting the bandage), the dirty uniform he wore previously carelessly laid on the ground next to his feet (mistake number three, absolutely no playing for the next three months).
Mother. Fucker.
“You gotta be shitting me!” This time you screamed. The room erupted in laughter, but you didn’t find anything about this situation funny.
With a heavy sigh you looked over your shoulders, head nodding once, the silent signal for the nurses to go get him, and so they did, walking over to the man with the wheelchair he hated so much.
Schlatt stumbled backwards, the back of his knee hitting the wooden bench behind him and almost knocking him onto his ass. “Hey! What’s this about?”
“You’re late for your physical therapy session. Y’know, the place you should’ve been instead of in the field, disobeying my direct orders!?”
He scoffed. “Can I at least put some clothes on? Or you want me to go like this, doc?”
I’m gonna kill this bitch, you thought.
But, instead of jumping on him like a hungry lioness and taking a piece of his jugular off with your own teeth, you just inhaled deeply, holding the oxygen in your lungs for a couple of seconds before letting go.
“Just bring the clothes,” you said calmly, “we’ll help you put them on in the clinic. Can’t risk you putting any more weight on your feet.”
Out of excuses, Schlatt reluctantly sat down on the wheelchair. Huffing and puffing his way out.
“I can’t believe you did that!” You slammed the door to your office open, the wood plank hitting against the wall and making everything on it shake.
Schlatt, who now had a shirt on and had taken control of his own wheelchair, rolled his eyes as he rolled himself in. “You’re so dramatic. It was just a light practice, I didn’t even-“
“Dramatic?!” You did a 180°, twirling like a ballerina to angrily face him. “Schlatt, you’re 100% my responsibility. If you keep disregarding what I tell you, you won’t get any better, and if you don’t get any better the higher ups are gonna blame me for that! I could lose my job!”
Schlatt kept looking up at you with a blank expression, and it was your time to roll your eyes. “Dunno why I’m telling you any of that, it’s not like you care anyways.”
You walk over behind your desk, opening the top drawer and taking some new bandages to replace Schlatt’s damp one, while he takes the moment you weren’t looking to get up, quickly throwing the towel around his hip to the floor and putting his underwear on.
“You’re not gonna lose your job.” He grunted, sitting back down on the wheelchair.
“Sure buddy,” you scoffed, closing back the drawer, “because when they ask you why haven’t you recovered you’ll tell them that’s it’s ‘cause you didn’t listen to me.”
“You think I’m that much of a douchebag I’ll just throw you under the bus like that?”
You crouched down in front of him, placing his feet on top of your knee, fingers working skillfully as you undid the bandage, careful as to not hurt him in the process.
“You’re not a douchebag, Schlatt,” you sighed, “I just know where your priorities lie. And I don’t blame you, I’d do the same if I had the talent you do… and the salary.”
With yours eyes still fixated on changing the bandage on his sprained ankle, you heard him scoff. “My priorities? Yeah, right.” He leaned in, hand cupping your chin and lifting your head up, your eyes meeting his. “Maybe you should let me take you out for a couple drinks, show you where my priorities really lie.”
To say that his offer took you by surprise would be an overstatement. Ever since you started working with the Yankees, Schlatt has always flirted with you, just for fun (and you always send him on some HR visits, y’know, just for fun), but this is the first time he’s ever gotten this close to you, touching you while he talks with that smooth voice of his, that stupid grin plastered on his face. The bastard knows what he’s doing, and he knows he’s good at it.
You placed his feet back on the floor with little care, making him wince, and got up, your thighs burning a bit.
“You haven’t seen miss Anderson this month, have you?”
“Oh c’mon, toots,” he chuckled, “you can’t pretend you don’t like the attention forever. Just give me one night, you won’t regret it, I swear.”
You looked down at him, arms crossed over your chest. It’s not a matter of liking the attention, it’s more of a matter of not hating it. Or at least that’s what you’ve been trying to convince yourself.
“I’ll call Nelson to come help you put your pants.” You say after awhile of silence, making your way over to the door.
Schlatt lets out a breathy laugh. “Just so you know, I won’t let it go until you say yes!” He screamed as you walked away, leaving him by himself in your office.
You shook your head, a dumb little smile on your face.
I really hope you don’t.
aaaand scene 🎬 !! it took me three whole days to write this lmao, what can i say? i’m just that good at procrastinating 🤪
#jschlatt#jschlatt x reader#schlatt#schlatt x reader#jschlatt x you#schlatt x you#schlatt x y/n#jschlatt x y/n
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Do you have any buddie fic recs that is a /must/ read for Buddie shippers ( sorry I don't ship Bucktommy 🥹)
Boy do I ever!!!
honey, when you call my name - @hippolotamus (Explicit)
"Eddie witnesses the Buck/Lucy kiss, has himself a little panic, and decides to do something about it when Buck does his Buck thing and won't stop pushing Eddie's buttons" It's spicy, it's sweet, it's packed full of feels and there was not a dry eye in the house!!
Whatever may come (your heart I will choose) - @hippolotamus (Mature)
"The Story of Eddie and Christopher Diaz" The number of times I yelled at Hippo while reading this,,,, it is incredible!! 30 chapters of Buckley-Diaz family feels, Eddie's heartbreaking backstory and FUCK if I could read it for the first time again, I would!
James Bond AU Series - @princessfbi (Teen & Explicit)
James Bond AU with 007 Agent Eddie Diaz and Buck as Q. Incredible. No notes. Read them back to back in one sitting, and then read them again immediately after. No prior knowledge of James Bond needed (cause I sure didn't have any) but be prepared to have the sudden urge to go watch all the films.
Kink Club AU Series - @princessfbi (Explicit)
"Canon compliant one shots where Eddie works at a Kink Club as a side hustle and meets Buck there before his first shift in 2x01." This series is insanely good. 5 perfect fics of the boys and BDSM, it is incredibly hot, full of feels and just.... yeah. Incredible. Please do read the tags before each fic though, especially if BDSM isn't your thing.
because we'll all arrive in heaven alive - @neverevan (Explicit)
"During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him." I was literally on the edge of my seat with every single chapter release. It's SO angsty and delicious and absolutely incredible, and I think also very feasible for what could happen in canon should Timothy ever decide to be as mean (affectionate) as Newbie was by putting the boys through this.
Out Of Order, Still In Line - @neverevan (Explicit)
"When Buck finally gets to the Clinic, the long awaited release doesn’t seem to come; cue Eddie to the rescue." One of the first Buddie fics I read and it altered my brain chemistry a little. Lord have mercy. It's just ... you gotta read it. Like, Jesus 🥵
My Blood on Your Skin (My Rose on Your Snow) - @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Explicit)
"When Eddie needs cash and fast to take care of Christopher, his LAFD Academy buddy suggests a job as a bouncer at Elysium - an exclusive sex club in downtown Los Angeles. Eddie doesn't care what goes on there, so long as he's paid, but he finds he cares a lot bout the club's enigmatic owner, Evan Buckley, and it's not long before the two of them are violating every boss-employee rule in the book. But there's something different about Buck and the club, something not quite... human. If Eddie wants to keep Buck, he's going to have to delve into the world of immortals, and all the risks that implies." Honestly I think the blurb says it all. I read this at my cousin's wedding (literally just before the ceremony and during the reception fsdkjdfs) because I literally couldn't put it down. Incredible Greek Gods integration and so. fucking. hot. Sorry Caleb, I hope your matrimony is holy but this was so worth it.
stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong - @daffi-990 (Unrated at present)
"Probational Firefighters Evan “Buck” Buckley and Eddie Diaz meet on a call which ends with them at odds with each other. As the months roll by, they keep running into each other on the job, much to Eddie’s dismay and Buck’s delight. Can they put aside their first opinions and misunderstandings and allow the seeds of friendship, and possibly something more, to take root?" This AU has been eating me alive with snippets for the last few months and the chapters are FINALLY being published!! Stay tuned for weekly updates about our idiots being - well - idiots. Daffi has written them so well and I don't think I could yell louder about this one if I wanted.
Cow Eyes - @theotherbuckley (General)
"'Eddie's in hospital and Buck tries not to break down' fic except its actually just a cute silly little fic" Exactly what is says on the tin. Cute, silly, fluffy and entirely adorable. High!Eddie is fucking hilarious and Worried!Buck has my whole ass heart. Love this fic, have read it many times, will read many times more
Both Blade and Branch - @cal-daisies-and-briars (Mature)
"The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie can’t help but notice there’s something very different about him. He’s not quite sure what version of Buck he got back." Orpheus and Eurydice vibes but somehow more heartbreaking because it's the Boys? Literally every chapter I was gobsmacked and the fact that I couldn't read it in one sitting due to Life™️ was frankly criminal.
what humans do - @gayhoediaz
""…and the thought that she had just escaped death by such a narrow margin made me realize the intensity of my feelings toward her.” Eddie swallows. “‘What’s the matter?’ I couldn’t tell her, so I kissed her instead,” Buck goes on, and since Eddie’s eyes are focused on the page, they drift ahead a little bit, and the next few lines have him swallowing once again, taking his hand back to brace himself against the mattress as he slowly starts to push himself up to sit. “Kissing is what humans do when words have reached a place they can’t escape from. It is a switch to another language. The kiss was an act of defiance, maybe of war. You can’t touch us, is what the kiss said. ‘I love you,’ I told her, and as I smelled her skin, I knew I had never wanted anyone or anything more than I wanted her…” Buck trails off when Eddie reaches for the book, gently luring it out of his grasp. " One of the best getting together fics I've read. So sweet, so hot, full of feels, and also just very 🤯 in many places. Just insanely well written and perfect imagery.
Also I have a small list of authors whom I love dearly:
@spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @wildlife4life @thewolvesof1998 @thekristen999
@steadfastsaturnsrings @watchyourbuck @fortheloveofbuddie @rainbow-nerdss @bidisasterevankinard
@aroeddiediaz @jesuisici33 @wikiangela @loveyouanyway @kitteneddiediaz
@actuallyitsellie @dangerpronebuddie @loserdiaz @elvensorceress @underwaterninja13
@smilingbuckley
Literally anything these wonderful people (and the authors of the above fics) have written is well worth a read. I would rec all of their words and make individual recs for all their fics but I fear I simply do not have the words.
I might also humbly suggest some of my fics, which you can find here! Happy reading!!!
#james answers things#fic recs#buddie fics#buddie#buddie wip#buddie ao3#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 buddie#911 abc#please don't read too much into the fact that pretty much every single one of these are smut#they're just really fucking good okay?
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CRAZY OVER YOU x MIN YOONGI
[HYBRID AU]
PART ONE
Love at first bite
Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger.
Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior, medical experiments, meds.
Genre: Fantasy, hybrids au, smut.
SUMMARY》 Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, who’s about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.
<< Previous Chapter. Next Chapter >>
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
My feet hurt. I’ve been running back and forth around the clinic way past my working hours already.
To be honest I think the assistants work more than the doctors, I should have gone home by now. My shift ended four hours ago. Yet i couldn’t go home.
Lately the clinic has been very busy, hybrids were coming in and out of the clinic to get treatment and the fact that so many rescued hybrids from the outside were coming, made the ones we had already been taking care of at the clinic agitated. With their higher level of hearing and smelling it was impossible to completely hide the different cents.
The world we live in is not the same anymore, we exists between hybrids. And I work in a clinic that takes care of them.
The biggest hybrid clinic in our city, is was more then just a clinic for hybrid species. It was a hospital, lab where scientific studies and research took place, and a clinic for treatments.
It was late at night when things seemed to have cooled down. I decided to drink some coffee at the cafeteria on the first floor.
Sitting down in one of the tables I put my hot coffee over it, taking the files of my patients for tomorrow morning in hand reading their appointments and preparing for it.
- yn! - I look up to see Hoseok, one of the assistants that worked on the especial cases.
- hey hobi - i greet him, he sits down in front of me looking more exausted than ever. - oh you look awful…
- don’t even tell me about it - he said - guess who was my patient today?
- no idea… - I tell him, taking a sip from my coffee.
- the snake hybrid - he said, I almost gagged in my coffee.
- no way! What is like? - i asked, the most special hybrid in our clinic was the rarest one. The black mamba hybrid.
- an asshole? - he said, I chuckled at him - no seriously, he’s so difficult to treat like he doesn’t eat because he doesn’t like the food, always complain about the people around him… and today, he bit my colleague be cause he didn’t like that way he smelled.
- he bit him? - i asked, completely amused.
- yes, he’s in the hospital by now - at his words I looked up at him worried.
- so… - before I said anything my phone start to ring. I sight tiredly - gotta go.
He only nodded understanding as I got up from my seat to leave.
- hey… - I say as I take the call. I threw the plastic cup of coffee in the trash can as I leave the cafeteria.
- boss is looking for you - he tells me. It was one of my coworkers.
- I’ll go then, thanks.
I turned off the call making my way to the elevators in the hallway. By boss he meant Seokjin, it was a nickname we all agreed on since he’s the director of the clinic. As I walked towards the elevators i kept wondering why he asked for me at this hour, Jin was usually so busy I could bearly talk to him not did I ever seen him having lunch break or any break at all. He always made sure the hybrids were well treated at the clinic and worked really hard for it.
From afar i notice Namjoon standing there in front of the elevator doors waiting for it, he was looking through some papers on his hand too focused to even notice my presence beside him.
- hey - i greet him.
- hey… - he reply, not looking my way. He had a hard expression on his features.
Once the door opened in front of us we both get in the elevator, me fallowing right after him. I press the bottom to the third floor.
- what is this? - I ask him intrigued, as he seemed completely focused on the paper to notice his surroundings.
- my new patient - he sighed now looking at me - he’s one of the rare hybrids we have and it looks like he’s going to get put down.
- what? Why? - I was genuinely surprised, rare hybrids were so special in the clinic one of them being put down could only meant one thing - is he sick?
- no - he said getting out of the elevator once the door opened at our desire floor, i fallow him - just an asshole.
- oh? - i was genuinely confused, but didn’t push him to tell me - You going to Jin’s office?
- yes - he said, lookin stressed - he called me to discuss this patient, what about you?
- He called for me but, I don’t know yet - i reply, we walked the long corridor till were finally standing in front of Seokjins office.
After nocking on the door and receiving a low “come in” from Seokjin we both made our way inside his office. Namjoon opened the door for me to get in first then he fallowed me behind, shutting the door. Jin sat on his desk, hands on his face as he covered his eyes in despair looking more tired than ever, a look i never thought I would see on his face.
- Jin you look… - he didn’t let me finish.
- I know - he sighted, now looking at us both in front of him.
- why did you called us? - Namjoon asked.
- I need your help with this rare hybrid case - He said.
Jin started walking around his desk to sit down.
- my father passed to me the responsibility of taking care of the… euthanasia of him.
- but why? - i asked.
- well… it’s been years and he never once put it in the effort to live - he said taking a few papers and giving it to me and Namjoon, the hybrid records - he’s not eating anymore, doesn’t get any heats, makes no effort on mating and doesn’t let anyone help with his shedding .
- Shedding? - i asked, so he means… the rare snake hybrid.
- yes. He’s now in your hands - Jin said, looking at me and Namjoon.
- you want us to do exactly what? - Namjoon asked - from the looks of it, doesn’t seem like we can do anything about it.
- you both will be working on this case with me, the big boss - he made a sing pointing up, signaling the higher ups, his father - found a female rare snake hybrid and he wants them to reproduce before euthanizing him.
I felt sick.
- are you kidding me?! - i said, stunted - you’re just going to… - I couldn’t even say it - after all theses years?
- I know that’s why i want you guys to work on it, - a long sigh left his lips - i only trust you both with this.
- maybe we can help him out and not put him down? - I tell him.
- believe me y/n - Jin looked at me deep in the eyes - we tried but…. Sometimes is better this way, is hard on him too.
I looked down at the papers in my hands.
Min Yoongi - snake hybrid.
Code: RED. Dangerous species. Specie: Black mamba.
Date of birth: Unknown. Male.
Current status: to be put down. Date: three months from now.
Resume: This patient needs to be prepared for a mating season as he had never had one, to ensure the precision and higher chances of reproduction of the rare hybrid species. The black mamba hybrid is to be taken care of from now to the time of mating, every side effect must be related to the one in charge of the case. To ensure assurance that this case will be dealt with assertiveness.
I felt sick.
….
I couldn’t help but think about it for the rest of the day. The fact that they would just give up on him after all these years of testing and keeping him lock up in here that he simply didn’t want to make any effort to live anymore, and how the clinic was just going to put him down not giving a single care about him for real.
They are going to end him right after they get him to reproduce, just to ensure they still have a rare hybrid of his specie. Another one to end just like him.
Looking down at the food in front of me I felt sick in my stomach at that. How could they?
- you look deep in thought - Namjoon said over me, he sat down in front of me after putting his tray of food on the table.
- sorry i just can’t stop thinking…
- about the hybrid? - he said - look I know you and I’m sure that’s why Jin chose you to assist me with this case but, let’s just make sure he at least leave in peace okay?
- okay..
No.
I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did. You don’t know me Namjoon, I’ll make sure that hybrid lives.
No matter what it takes.
- we’ll meet him later right? - i ask him, he looks at me over his lashes as he holds his phone looking at it.
- yeah, after lunch - he takes off his glasses - are you ready to see the snake hybrid for the first time?
- yeah - I wonder what he looks like, most hybrids have some feature that help identifying what kind of hybrid they are. Does the snake hybrid has scales all over him? - he shouldn’t look too scary right?
Namjoon only giggle at my question, a knowing smile growing on his lips and my mind quickly realizing it.
- Kim Namjoon! You’ve meet him already! - i stated.
- of course I did, he had an appointment at six in the morning. - he said, a sight leaving his lips - What an ass.
- why so early? - knowing Namjoon hates waking up too early, he must felt stressed. Especially having to take care of a hybrid that demands so much more care.
- His sleep circle is different… - he started - and since we are trying to get him to feel the beginning of a heat so he can mate, his room was changed to acommodate him.
- oh… - realization hits me - so it will give the illusion of his heat beginning?
- yes, we also changing the room temperature to make it happen as naturally as possible - he said - the hotter the better.
- no way… - i said - I’ll have to work in hell too?
- trust me.. it doesn’t need hot temperatures to make it hell. - Namjoon looked at me - he’s good at that on his own.
- is he that bad? - he couldn’t be… right?
- I’ll let you see it for yourself - was all Namjoon said.
After lunch Namjoon passed me the instructions of our appointment with the snake hybrid, since he wasn’t eating he had to take vitamins straight into the blood.
To be honest i felt sad at that. You don’t eat when you don’t have an appetite, is he that bad in condition to not even eat? They’ve been neglecting him for so long and now are trying to force him to mate.
More and more i questioned if what i was doing was right.
I walk beside Namjoon towards the elevators, special hybrids stay on the sixth floor so that’s where we’re headed. They need to be separated from the other hybrids as their instincts are a lot more higher and demand more care, you can’t put cat hybrid in the same place you have a wolf hybrid. So we divided the floor for special species, wild hybrids in a floor and domestic hybrids in one. Of course there’s the special cases divided by codes, the snake hybrid was a code red which meant he was dangerous. Code reds are usually the hardest one to work with because they can and will hurt their doctors and especially other hybrids. Some don’t really mind the doctor but, other hybrids. Like a lion who sees a deer. They will always see them as a pray. So we have to keep them separate.
I look in front of me over the silver tray with the meds and vitamins he must take everyday, today Jin won’t be joining us he only will when much more serious procedures are to be taking action.
Namjoon is the one with the code to the hybrid door, each hybrid had their own room to accommodate all their individual needs. The snake room wasn’t different.
As soon as the door is open a heat of hot air hits me, the room is a bit dark but the lights get brighter as we enter, Namjoon walks towards the hybrid who lays on a big bed in the center of the room. Almost looking like a nest with all the covers and pillows around it.
I make my way to the table beside the door to prepare the meds and vitamins.
- good afternoon Yoongi - Namjoon says to the hybrid - time for your meds and vitamins.
- i don’t need it…. - a deep male voice says, the hairs in the back of my neck shivering at the sound of him - who’s is that?
He meant me. My heart skipped a beat at getting his attention. He is the first special hybrid I’ve ever meet. One of the most dangerous one too.
- that’s my assistant - Namjoon tells him, he’s talking about me - everything ready y/n?
- yes Joon… - i turn to him taking the silver tray with me.
Stopping in my tracks as I take in the figure of the hybrid. He didn’t look like anything i imagined, he didn’t have weird snake eyes and not was his skin full of scales like the reptile. He looked almost human… if it wasn’t for the almost unnoticeable scales on his neck that fallowed up to his ears so delicately, as he moved his head to the side eyes locked over my figure the scales shined a bit. A color of white pearl and soft grey.
He wore something different from what I was used to see on the other hybrids, while the others wore a type of pijama white clothing he whore silk shining bottom up shirt and pants.
Realizing i wasn’t moving and just staring rudely at the hybrid I quickly made my way to Namjoon to give him the meds. My checks burning.
- no - the hybrid said looking at Namjoon with a bored expression - i don’t like the way you smell… i won’t take anything from you.
- you still need to take your vitamins - Namjoon insisted taking one of the syringe from the tray.
- i said I don’t need it - the hybrid growls, coming closer.
- your condition tells me otherwise - Namjoon said to him, both looking at each other. The temperature seemed to rise even more as they looked almost like provoking each other. A silent fight.
The hyrbrid eyes found mine staring at his, he looked at me up and down no expression on his face. Than turned to Namjoon.
- she can do it - he said, a bored expression coming back to his features.
- she’s not in charge of that - Namjoon said, a stern lock on face - I’m the one who is, so get over it.
I looked at him chocked. He seemed angry. Namjoon who usually is calm and careful with his patients was now the complete opposite, he stood his ground and faced the hybrid as if trying to prove he was the Alfa.
And for the first time I was angry at him, not only this was a delicate case. The hybrid could attack if he felt threatened. That could only worsen the situation for the hybrid.
- I can do it Joon - i tell him quietly turning to him lifting the silver tray for him to take it. I gave him a nod of assurance. He looked at me than the hybrid.
- are you sure about it y/n? - he asked me, worry over his face now.
- of course i can - i assure him - I do it all the time.
His eyes locked with mine as he talked. I heard Namjoon sighed as he turned to me taking the silver tray from my hands.
Giving him a small smile I took the vitamins syringe, the hybrid stood in front of me opening his white shirt one bottom after the other eyes locked with mine to catch my reaction, I tried not give any reactions and keep my gaze eye level but it was impossible when he stood right there exposing his beautiful skin for me.
He wasn’t covered in scales as many would’ve imagine but definitely had a few on his ribs that fallowed down to his v line, just like before they shined a bit over the light a white pearl with silver. I gulped down eyes looking back into his as he stood in front of me reveling his left arm for me to aply the syringe. His eyes never once left mine, he had eyes so dark I couldn’t tell if there was any color in them black light the night sky.
I held his arm to insert the syringe into his skin, he didn’t move at all. During the whole processe he didn’t broke the eye contact. Cleaning the small bit of blood that came after taking the syringe off his skin. Namjoon gave me the next one, i apply it into his skin once again. After the last one, I cleaned and put a small piece of medical tape over it so it doesn’t bleed.
- I’m done… - i say, standing next to Namjoon. He gave me the tray and I took it to the table beside the door.
The hybrid began to bottom up his shirt. Namjoon look it up the papers for the hybrid next appointment as I took the small white cup with he’s meds walking back to the hybrid I held the cup up for him to take. He took the cup from my hand brushing his fingers over mine, his hand looking much bigger than mine, I kept my focus on that too nervous to look up into his dark eyes again. I held the water up for him, which he took it again brushing his fingers over mine. He drank it my eyes fallowing up at his neck starring at the scales over his skin. They looked so delicate almost like a painting over his skin, closer you could see that little silver that shined over the light. Not realizing he came closer until I felt his breath hitting over my face, making me look at him immediately. Dark eyes staring into mine with boredom, he tilted his head to the side coming closer inspecting my face.
- you’re not afraid? - he whispered, only for me to hear. My breath got stuck on my throat.
- should I be?… - I whispered back, swallowing hard. He looked down at me than back into my eyes, tilting his head to the other side black orbs staring deep into mine i fallow his move tilting my head to the same side. Complete hypnotized by him.
- any changes in your shedding? - Namjoon asked the hybrid, while writing something down on the paper. - it should have started already.
At hi voice I came back to reality, turning quickly with the two cups. Taking them to the table beside the door to despose of them int he trash can.
Making my way back to stand beside Namjoon once I was done, my eyes going back to the hybrid standing in front of us.
He had the same expression as before, unbothered.
- same as always - he answered tiredly, going back to his bed.
I saw the way his plain answer made Namjoon clench his jaw. He wasn’t making any effort to cooperate with Namjoon, I notice he was difficult but not an asshole. It was painful to watch them interact, Namjoon clearly didn’t like the way the hybrid acted but, I have dealt with a few difficult hybrids before this was only a way to protect themselves after going through so much.
This behavior seemed to be common with Wild species, I’ve seen it before with a lion hybrid I took care of before.
Sometimes you just have to be persistent, and careful.
- I heard it could be painful if not taken care of, is everything alright with it? - i asked this time, which made both males look at me.
The hybrid looked at me not saying anything for a while. Than he smirked and walked towards me making Namjoon stand closer to me protectively. He looked at Namjoon smile slowly falling forming into a bored expression again, showing how the presence of the other male affected him.
- I don’t want any of your help with it - he said, eyes locked into mine - last time…
- you almost killed one of our doctors - Namjoon interrupted the hybrid, one arm closing around me to put me back.
Almost…
- he shouldn’t have touched me - the hybrid said eyes burning over Namjoon, anger on his face.
Hands closing into fists, he walked closer to us standing in front of Namjoon. He was ready to attack if needed, if something is not done it could end very badly Namjoon doesn’t notice but with this behavior he is provoking the hybrid to act instinctively.
It is clear that the heat season has started for him and in mating season hybrids tend to get more competitive and sensitive, a male showing up to his space staring dominance wouldn’t do any good.
- you both stop - i said releasing myself from Namjoon standing between them both, turning to the hybrid I said - please, Yoongi let me treat you okay?
He didn’t like when people crossed his boundaries i get that, sometimes it could be very overwhelming. But knowing what they are going to do to him because of that behavior, i just couldn’t help but get in between them. It was something we could work out and maybe if i succeed they won’t put him down anymore.
- it is important that you go through your shedding the easiest way possible - i tell him - so I’ll be in charge of it okay? How is that?
He looked at me for a while, slightly turning his head to the side. Pundering the idea in his head. For some reason he looked me up and down before looking at Namjoon behind me, a small smile making its way to his lips.
- only if is you - was all he said before going back to his bed.
A sight of relief leaving my lips, even though I cloud feel the stare of Namjoon a glare over my back.
…
To say Namjoon didn’t like that idea was an understatement. He hate it.
Insisting it was a bad idea to proceed with hybrid treatment by myself, that could be dangerous not only that but the fact that the hybrid had poison on his teeth just like a snake would. It wasn’t lethal but enough to cause discomfort, and it was what had happened the last time they tried to help with his shedding.
But that didn’t changed my mind. Not after I actually meet him, it seemed to me he didn’t want any one close that felt threatening to him. He wasn’t just any kind of hybrid, not a dog that loves attention and touch but a snake one. Snakes always acted out when feeling threatened. Attacking was their only defense.
So it made sense to me that he would be reluctant to let anyone get too close, especially after heaving so many tests on him without his consent. He’s been so mistreated and now they want to put him down.
It angers me.
I decided to chose an hour where i knew Namjoon would be busy in a meeting to do that. No long after we had left the hybrid room he began to lecture me on how dangerous Yoongi could be, that i shouldn’t act like that when he was the one in charge of this case. It slipped his mouth that the clinic simply started to give him vitamins when he stopped eating so he wouldn’t die.
It came to me how neglected he’s been this whole time. After that i decided to secretly go to the hybrid and feed him, which was where i was headed now.
I made sure no one was around once i stopped in front of the hybrid door. Using the number code I saw Namjoon used before to open the lock on it. It made a sound before opening.
The hot air hitting my face as I entered, they had turned higher this time it was hotter than before. The lights slowly began to light up as I walked in, the door closing behind me automatically.
At that the hybrid came up from his bed looking confused at me. Of course. I shouldn’t be there.
- hey - i greet him. He doesn’t say anything.
I walk up to him, stoping in front of the nest looking bed. A sing of his heat starting. That was a good sign. He held himself up with his arms looking my up from the bed.
- why are you here? - his voice was low and heavy.
- I just… - I trailed off as he fully lifted his body form his laying position, now sitting on his bed. Shirt open and sliding off his shoulders, not showing much but enough to see his scales.
He looked me over his lashes checks a bit red and sweat falling over the side of his face.
- i brought you something… - a sight left his lips - are you okay?
- yeah… what did you brought me? - his curious dark eyes following my body as I came closer.
- it’s tangerines - i say, showing him the two fruits i held in my hands.
- what’s a tangerine? - he asked eyeing them closer.
- you don’t know? - i gasped. Sitting beside him i slowly began to open one in a half giving it to him, he smelled before looking at me not knowing what to do.
- I never seen one… smells nice - he said.
- you eat it - i tell him, taking one and holding in front of his lips. He didn’t move at all, only looked at me.
For a moment I thought I had crossed his bounderies, for a moment I thought I was just being stupid. But then it came to me, he hasn’t eaten in years. He don’t even know what a tangerine is.
Maybe he didn’t even felt hunger anymore. Maybe he’ll throw the stupid fruit at me.
My checks were getting warmer as I felt nervous but, slowly he smelled the fruit in my hand taking a careful bite of it. Still looking at me, the juicy fruit spilling a bit in my fingers.
I watched him expectedly, wondering if he will like it or hated. He swallowed and looked at the fruit in my hand.
- that’s good… - he said. I sight of relief left my lips.
- you want more? - i asked him, he nodded slowly making me smile.
He didn’t move a single finger to eat though, I had to feed him the two tangerines the whole time. It didn’t bother me though, I felt so happy seeing him eat something other then taking those vitamins.
It means so much in the process of a hybrids treatment that they are feeding themselves, i couldn’t hold my happiness as I watched him.
Once he eat all of them he looked at me then at my hands, dark eyes shining under the light.
- sorry it was all I got - I tell him. - I’ll bring you more if you want.
- you will? - his eyes shining bright as he looked at me. I nodded at him.
- can i ask you… why you don’t eat? - i said, he doesn’t look at me turning to look at the floor.
- I don’t… feel like it… - he simply said.
He looked so sad now. No appetite wasn’t good. When in the absence of sickness it could only mean he was very depressed. They wanted to put him down because he was depressed.
I wouldn’t let them.
- You don’t seem to mind me around you… - I comment.
- you smell good. - he said, turning to look at me - and delicious, like tangerines.
I chuckled at his comparison. He watched me attentively, a different light on his dark eyes now.
- okay… I try my best to take care of you - i tell him. For a moment he only stares at me.
Red checks and bit of sweat on his chest, he turned his head to the side still raring at me. I fixed my glasses feeling a bit intimidated by his deep stare.
- You… - before he could end his sentence the door opened.
Namjoon entered the room looking at us confused, his eyes falling over my presence there. I shouldn’t be here. It’s what I read in his eyes.
- yn? - he asked, confusion clearly on his voice as he walked closer to where I was with the hybrid.
- Oh hey I was just… - i tried to make up an excuse but he cut me mid sentence.
- Leaving, right? - he interrupted. I swallowed nervous. He was never hard on me, hearing him be like that wasn’t nice.
- Yeah… - i murmured, taking the fruit peels with me as I got up from the hybrids bed.
- No… - Yoongi held my wrist stopping me, turned to look at him but he stared at Namjoon.
- You have an appointment with me now, it doesn’t include y/n so let her go… - for some reason Namjoons way of putting what he was doing there made me nervous.
I know he would never hurt a hybrid, but yoongi was very reluctant to any one else being too close to him. Namjoons display of dominance could make him defensive and things might not go well.
- maybe I could help - i tried to sound calm.
- y/n, your here to assist me not take over the procedures - Namjoon tells me, his words sending a sharp sting in my heart.
I couldn’t find words to reply his. Too embarrassed by his words to me in front of the hybrid, i bit into my lower lip. Not looking at them.
- Let her go yoongi - Namjoon said walking towards us.
At his words I realized Yoongi was now standing behind me, hand still around my wrist. His slow breathing hitting my shoulder. I lifted my gaze to Namjoon who now seemed a bit worried. But the hybrids closeness to me wants what made me uncomfortable.
- Yoongi… - Namjoon warned.
- Joon don’t - I tell him holding my hand up for him not to get closer - can you wait a bit?
He looked at me reluctant before nodding, still not taking his eyes off the hybrid. I turned to Yoongi slowly, a small smile on my lips as I stared into his deep dark orbs, to make sure he knew I was fine.
- Are you okay? - he asked me, I looked at him surprised. - he hurt you with his words.
I couldn’t hide my surprise at his words, he could tell from just that?
- It’s okay… I don’t care about his words - I whispered o him, giving him a small smile.
I tried to take my wrist from his hold but he didn’t let go, not to hard to hurt me. I could tell he was being careful not to use his full strength on me.
- Will you came back? - he asked, eyes looked into mine.
- Of course. - i tell him.
With that he let go of my wrist.
I turned to Namjoon taking his arm to leave the hybrid room. He reluctantly fallowed me towards the door of the room. Once we were both outside I kept my hold on his arm taking him with me around the corridor towards the elevators.
- where you taking me? - he asked, as if nothing had happened earlier.
- To Seokjin, we need to have a talk - i tell him, anger boiled over me.
- We? - he pushed his arm out of my grip - You’re being the irresponsible one not me!
- I’m!? - I stopped in the middle of the corridor, turning to him anger building up through my body.
- Yes! - he stated, closer to me - Do I need to remind you of your position here?
- Do I need to remind you of your stupid ego standing between the safety of a hybrid and your pride?! - i yell at him.
At that he went quiet.
- were talking with Seokjin now. - i state - I won’t let you make this whole processe more difficult than it has to be just because of your pride.
I held his arm again, taking him with me to the elevators. He didn’t say anything else anymore, I could tell he was angry but so was I.
The whole time he was only stating dominance over Yoongi, I was tired of them all thinking that could just hurt the hybrid even more now just because she was going to be put down.
I wouldn’t let them.
The walk to Seokjins office was quiet except for the tense energy around us, once I stood in front of his door I don’t bother to nock. Entering with anger burning under my skin.
Seokjin gave me a curious look, as he was folding some paper on his desk.
- sorry Jin - i say. He looked at me and Namjoon a questioned look on his face. - we need to talk about Yoongi.
- oh, right - he says - what is it?
- She’s being… - Namjoon started, but I interrupted him.
- Yoongi has been showing clear signs of discomfort with male doctors - at that Namjoon scoffed, I looked at him angry turning my gaze to Jin as I continued - he say he will do the appointments as long as I’m the one closer to him.
- I see.. - Jin thinks for a moment before continuing - what’s the problem?
- Namjoon is not letting me - i tell him, arms crossed over my chest.
-She just went into his room without any one knowing and… - Namjoon began.
- And gave him food - i say, looking at him. We both shared a look of hatred before Jin interrupted.
- What? - Jin asked.
- He eat… - I tell him.
- He… he eat food? - they both looked at me surprise.
- Yes, I’m sure I can help a lot more with this case if you let me take charge of the procedures that involves more… closeness to him, he’s been through a lot and seemed more calm around me.
- I see… - Jin pondered the idea first - then as long as you’re not alone for safety reasons, I don’t see a problem with you taking charge of his appointments.
- But she’s.. - Namjoon says, but is cut by Jin.
- Namjoon, y/n has been taking care of hybrids for years she knows what she’s doing, please I need you both working on this together - Jin says, sounding tired.
Namjoon only nods.
- any updates about him? - jin asked.
- i can tell that his heat i starting - I say - his behavior at least shows me that.
- okay… we’ll than we are almost there - Jin says - keep that good work and please, do this together.
- thanks jin - i tell him, he gives me a nod and i make my way to leave the office.
Namjoon stayed behind. I didn’t payed much mind to it. Quickly making my way out of there walking to the elevators, I had a lot of work to do other than Yoongi case.
More patients that needed treatment just as badly, not the he wasn’t just as special to me.
…..
It was late at night again.
I wasn’t planning to staying late again but, a hybrid was just checked in after being attacked by a another wild hybrid. The same case has happened before, that is way wild hybrids where never up for adoption. Yet some people always manage to get them, usually never for good reasons.
The poor hybrid this time was a bunny one, I was surprised when I first saw him. Usually bunny hybrids where the smallest species to exist but, this one was big. Not too tall but very muscular and strong.
When he was checked in he was still in defense mode, attacking every one and very scared. They had to apply a sedative on him to finally be able to put him on his room.
You could guess my reaction after I was told the story and short after that, Hoseok told me I was the one in charge of his case.
My shift ended hours ago and yet here I was cleaning cuts on the face of a bunny hybrid who seemed to know nothing about shutting up.
- such a pretty doctor I have.. - he said, a smile on his lips as he looked at me.
- Jungkook stop talking I’m trying to apply the med on your lip… - i tell him for the fifth time already, he only chuckled.
I sight taking a clean cotton with med to clean the cut over his eyebrow, he was sitting over his bed as I stood between his legs to clean his bruises.
He shouldn’t be awake. He was sedated before but, no long after he was wide awake and talking none stop, he commented on my but and how lucky he was to be treated by me.
I only sighted. That was knew. Usually my patients where too scared to be treated at first. So I just brushed off his comments.
Jungkook was abandoned when younger by his last owner, he then grow up in an underground fighting club where clandestine fights were held. He told me he was the best one there, a lot of people bet on him at the fights until he got in trouble with this one wolf hybrid.
- how did you end up here again? - I asked him.
- I was… - his checks went red and he looked down - to be honest I’m still.. ah, I was in heat…
- oh.. - I looked at him, still no understanding. He was shy, ears dropping beside his head.
- I was trading to mate but… so was the wolf… - he said.
- but you’re…
- she wasn’t like me… - he tells me, realizing what he meant I felt a warm wave up my checks.
Different species trying to mate, that was the first time I heard that, the underground has a lot going on than.
- well… it could happen - I say, making sure I cleaned every bruise on his face - here in the clinic we help our hybrids with all their needs, so don’t worry.
- oh.. will you treat me than doctor? - he asked, amused.
- yes, you’re my patient - i tell him, taking his file to prescribe him his medication and future exams.
- humm… - he only murmured - doctor are you in heat?
His question gets me by surprise and I look at him, mouth opening and closing. Just what was going on now? Did he perhaps hit his head too?
At my expression he chuckled one arm closing around my waist as he pulled me closer to him, I gasped feeling his nose against my neck. Not knowing what to do I held my hand up in the air, too afraid to even touch him. The smallest reaction could start something I wasn’t intending to.
- I can smell in you… - he says over my ear, my checks burning hot - hum, ready to be filled…
At his words i tried to push him, hands over his chest only to find his eyes staring deep into mine his checks where red and pupils full. It hit me. He was still on his heat.
That explains his behavior the whole time. How could I not notice earlier?
- you’re still in heat - i state. He only chuckled.
- am i? - he came closer to kiss me but i immediately pushed him down the bed - oh, I like that… doctor you’re making me fall for you…
I ignore his nonsense as I made my way to grab a sedative, bunnies were the hardest ones to deal with when on their heat, first I would have to put him to sleep before giving him the medicine to lessen his heat. At least till we are done with his treatment. Then we would put him to mate the right way.
Coming back to him I stared at him think where I would apply it, he didn’t stop moving. I stood between his legs holding the sedative behind my back.
- Jungkook… - i tried to get his attention, he looked at me immediately- I need to do something for me okay?
- yes pretty doctor- he tried to get up but I quickly held his chest down, he smiled at me. He looked as if he were on drugs, high on his heat.
It could only mean things were getting worse, he wasn’t on full rut but was getting there. It would be impossible to treat him if he’s on rut.
- don’t move okay? - i tell him, his hand held mine over his chest as he nodded.
Without him noticing i insert the syringe into his thigh, he’s so into his heat to even notice the pain.
I count ten seconds in my head before releasing my hold over his chest, he doesn’t try to get up.
- oh I’m sleepy… - he says, hand falling from mine as he closes his eyes slowly going into deep sleep.
A sight of relief leaves my lips once he falls asleep. I prepare some medicine to calm his heat, I wasn’t a fan of suppressants but in this case is needed. Just until we are done treating him. Than I’m sure he will be put into mating process so he can have a safe and healthy heat.
After I’m done giving him his medicine, I write it down his next appointment and a new prescription.
Leaving the room I sight, my right hand massaging my neck. I look over my phone to see the time realizing it was way past eleven. Walking down the corridor to the elevators, my ringtone woke me up from daydreaming about my comfort bed.
- yes - o took the call.
- hey y/n - it was Jin - did you check on the special hybrid?
- wasn’t Joon going? - I said, confused at his words. He told me he would.
- no he head an emergency at home and had to leave - Jin explained, I sight.
- oh, i will than - i tell him.
- you seem tired y/n do you want me to go instead? - he offers.
- no is fine… - i tell him - he die a know you yet, it could make things difficult.
- okay - Jin says - call me if anything happens.
- I will, thank you.
I turn off the call, getting in the elevator. I push the bottom to the floor of the special hybrids where. My eyes feeling a bit heavier, I tried to push it away. Just one last check up and I can go home.
The elevators doors opened at the floor, the sound waking me up from my tiredness. I quickly made my way through the long corridor with doors to Yoongis room.
Pressing the code on the lock beside the door, it opens making a sound. The hot wave of air hitting my body as usual once i made my way in, the lights slowly turning back on.
Once they’re on I made my way to his bed, panicked at not seeing him there or any sing of him at all.
- Yoongi? - i call out his name, locking around the room but still no sight of him.
My heart begins to beat faster, as my mind runs different scenarios of what might have happened. Worry filling my body as I throw the papers i gel in my hand on the floor, taking my cellphone to call Jin as I turn to leave the room.
Still with eyes locked on my phone i don’t notice the lights slowly turning off, nothing takes my attention from the cellphone until arms close over my wrist turning my around.
My phone falling on the ground as he pushed me against the wall, both hands holding my wrists over the wall above my head.
- Yoongi?! - I stared into his dark orbs, relief filling me up. - I thought something happened to you…
He didn’t said anything. A hard look over his features, I couldn’t decipher what it meant. He held me tighter coming closer to my face.
- why do you smell like trash? - he spat.
- what? - I was so lost.
I knew I worked late but, is not like didn’t look out for myself. Working at the clinic I had to make sure I was always clean. I couldn’t understand what he meant.
- you stink of male rut… - he spat at me, hissing at the end. Eyebrows furred into an angry expression.
I should’ve thought about that before coming here stray after treating a hybrid on heat, shit. Knowing how Yoongi was sensitive about others males I should’ve at least put on some perfume.
- it’s not like that… - i tried to lessen his anger but it only seemed to make it worse.
- I don’t care… - he pushed himself away from me - don’t ever come back here smelling like that again…
- I won’t - i tell him, still not moving I watched as he walks back to his bed. - im sorry, I didn’t have time to… wash this off.
He doesn’t say anything, sitting on ver his bed he looks at me from afar.
- tomorrow will start your shedding treatment… - i tell him, still not moving from my spot.
At the smell of another male it was better did I kept my distance so it wouldn’t be too overwhelming for him who had a much higher sense.
- i just came to check on you, to make sure…
- come here - he interrupted, he voice sounded heavy almost a growl.
I would be lying if a said I wasn’t afraid, my phone was lost somewhere in this room and I had no way of calling for help if something happened. Although I knew he wouldn’t do something to hurt me i couldn’t be sure, the situation was a lot different now.
I could say something but, his instincts would say another complete different than mine.
Still I made my way towards him. Stopping a few steps away from him.
- closer… - he sighted. Dark eyes looking me up and down.
I gulped down, making my way closer to him. Stopping in front of him.
He looked up at me boxers getting up from the bed, close enough to kill me if he wanted to.
- was it a patient of yours? - he asked, voice low and raspy. He meant the smell.
- yes… - i manage to whisper, I felt so small in front of him. Like a pray.
- you’ll see him again? - he asked, taking a step closer. No distance between us. His breath hitting my face.
- yes… - i tell him, my eyes finally looking up at his.
He only nodded understanding.
- I don’t like this smell on you - i says, making me gulp down as i looking into his eyes. - but i understand…
He pushes me against him it happens so fast, once I notice he is pressing me down on his bed. Both his legs on each side of my hips, he held my arms up against the nest of covers and sheets.
Keeping them up he slides his hands down my arms over my sides, one finger playing with the bottoms of my shirt.
- you look healthy… - he murmurs eyeing me up and down.
- what…
He didn’t let me finish. Opening my shirt he went down over my chest, I gasped in surprise. Turning my face to the side, I expected anything except what he did.
I slowly opened my eyes at the feeling of his hot breath over my neck, my own breath got stuck in my throat the moment I felt the wetness of his tongue sliding over my chest up my neck.
- what are you doing? - I asked, my voice was only a whisper.
- taking that disgusting smell off you - he said over my neck.
- oh…
- but you’ll see him again… - he said, I turned to look at him.
- I have to, his my patient - i explained.
- than this won’t do… - he whispered more to himself, one hand holding my chin up he slowly turned my face to the side.
With my neck on full display for him he came closer, this time whispering over my ear.
- have you ever been bitten by a snake?
At his question my mind rushed with realization, my heart beating faster as his lips brushed over my skin. I tried to move my legs but he only used his body weight to held me down, my hands over his shoulders trying to push him away were quickly held up over my head with his left hand.
He chuckled at my useless try’s to get away from him.
A gasp leaving my lips immediately at the feeling of his sharp teeth carving my skin, tears filling my eyes at the painful sensation of his teeth inserting his venom on me. His hands slowly leaving his hold over me, i couldn’t move.
Once he took his teeth out of my skin, I groaned in pain. Feeling the warm liquid fall down my neck, he licked over the bite. Hand holding my chin to look at him.
- don’t worry… it will feel good soon - I looked up at him, his voice was a whisper in the dark.
My mind felt dizzy, vision getting blurry the heat of the room wasn’t helpful. My whole busy was burning, I tried to push him away but as soon as my hands came in touch with the silk over his skin my entire body responded, a wave of electicity coming up from the tips of my fingers to my whole body.
- Yoongi…
My eyes began to get heavier and heavier, hands falling beside me as I fell asleep.
Not before I felt his warm finger trace my jaw softly, his voice so far away I couldn’t make out what he said before I fall completely asleep.
Am i dying?
Next?
Notes: YES FINALLY!! Hehe I’m sorry for any grammatical typos! ☺️💖
Taglist: @blue-and-grey-army @crystallizedtime @fairywriter-oracle e @dancerninjastudent-blog @rosquilleta @celticcountrygal l @m4gg13-g @alexxa013 @unadulteratedlyunique @kpopmultistantrashsstuff @anaspectoflife @younhakim29 @slinekyu @yoongislatinagff f @pandafuriosa60 @kimsonlyluv @jiminbluerose @serialkillerattracterhopefully @slut-4-yourmom @illnevertrustmyselfagain @bangchanbabygirlx @itsskyvoltage @welcometomyworld13 @totorokokorostar @ievaantane @momnomnom @honsoolgloss @kimtaehussy @amariemoore @starrlo0ver @missmin @whipwhoops @glosstwn @i-have-no-life-charlie @kooslilhoe e @catlove83 @taegicity @ginger-coffee-addict @rosquilleta @tarahardcore @liveyun @manuosorio @thvlover7 @4ukiyo4 @sukonsukuna a @passionandsuga @missroro @btspurplesky @i-am-invisible-for-you @dancerninjastudent-blog @blablase @itsskyvoltage @welcometomyworld13 @watermelon2319 @totorokokorostar
#bts fanfiction#bts smut#bts x you#bts yoongi#bts drabble#yoongi smut#yoongi x reader#bts suga#bts smut reactions#bts jungkook#jungkook fanfic#yoongi fanfic#min yoongi x you#min yoongi smut#namjoon fanfic#seokjin fanfic#bts x reader#bts fanfic#Yoongi hybrid au#min yoongi x reader#hybrid#black mamba hybrid#min yoongi x oc#min yoongi fanfic#bts taehyung#bts fic#bts au#jimin x reader#jjk smut
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The tale tell signs of the Batmobile pulling into the Cave reverberated for nearl a minute before it even pulled into the garage. Once parked, the driver side door opened and NightBat (Nightwing as Batman) got out before closing the door.
"B!" Red Robin waved, "Welcome back! How'd it go?"
Not even surprised that Robin had gotten tired of babysitting the Leaguers, NightBat walked to join the group. "As usual. Batwoman could've handled herself."
Everyone on comms ignored the woman's indignant call from where she and Selina had joined Barbra and Jason in the Clocktower.
"Bats!" Green Lantern called, "You left us with Robin, right?"
"Mhmm."
"This isn't Robin! He says he's been here the whole time, but he hasn't because he's not Robin!"
NightBat was trying very hard to keep his amusement to himself. It didn't help that he had people laughing in his ear. He could tell RR and Spoiler were having the same issue. "Red Robin."
Green Lantern threw his hands in the air. "I give up!"
"Seriously, man," Spoiler said, concern lacing her tone, "If you're too paranoid or you aren't feeling too well, we can cut this short."
Wonder Woman glared at the man. "No, thank you, we are fine. You were showing us the med bay?"
"Right this way!" Red Robin guided them to the large room that wouldn't look out of place in a hospital. It was closer to looking like a mix between an ER, a Post OP, a Pre OP, and a waiting room. Somehow, it worked. Somehow, it was better than the one on the Watchtower.
Martian Manhunter took the lead in this room. "This is better equipped than the Watchtower's own medbay," he turned to NightBat, "Why is that?"
"Oh, oh!" Spoiler jumped in place, "I can answer that!" When everyone's attention was on her, she said, "It's because we're all human."
"Excuse me?" Superman quirked an eyebrow.
"Eloquently put, Spoiler," Robin smacked her arm, "Show a bit of decorum, will you? Honestly."
"Again?!" Green Lantern shreaked. He was ignored.
"It's true," she shrugged, "Anyway, I gotta bounce." She turned to jog out of the room, "It was nice meeting you all!" she shouted just as the door closed behind her. After a minute, the sound of her bike revving and fading told them all she had left.
The tour of the large med bay soon ended and Robin led the group back up to the smaller med bay. It was outfitted as a small clinic and not an ER, a few chairs being the only hint at a seating area. It was, like the larger one, also completely enclosed in bullet resistant glass.
Taking seats at the meeting table, none of the visiting Justice Leaguers noticed Signal taking his suit and leaving to finish Batwoman's and Catwoman's patrol, nor did they notice Cass sneaking Spoiler's suit back into its case before she took the stairs up to the Manor. Tim had also managed to put his suit back where it belonged before going back to the Manor with Cass.
Flash was the only one not sitting, having too much anxious energy to be able to sit still. So, he wandered around the upper area, careful not to touch anything. He was, however, looking very closely at everything. Something just felt...off. "Wait a minute," he stopped the small talk at the table, "Where did those books come from?"
"What are you talking about?" Green Arrow asked.
"The books, on the table! They weren't there when we got here!"
Robin made his judgement known from behind his mask. "There have always been books on this table, Flash."
"No, there haven't!"
"I think you should sit down," Superman stood to usher his fellow hero over to the chairs, "You're obviously anxious about something-"
Flash didn't let himself be touched, focusing on every little detail now. "And, the suits!" he ran down to the displays, "Two of the suits that were missing earlier are here now! And a different one is missing!"
Green Lantern and Aquaman jumped over the railing to join the Flash. "He's right," the Atlantian announced.
"What's going on here, Bats?" Green Arrow asked as he, too, jumped the railing.
Robin muttered, "We have stairs," under his breath as he followed the adults in jumping over the railing to the lower level.
"I have so many questions." Green Lantern added on.
Wonder Woman stood at the front of the group, "Why did you change your mind to invite us here?"
NightBat raised an eyebrow under the cowl. "I didn't. The others who operate in Gotham did. I just happen to be in charge."
"And how many people, exactly, operate in Gotham?" Superman asked.
Robin was the one to give a non-answer. "How many do you think?"
"This isn't funny, Bats," Cyborg glared. "What's going on."
NightBat said nothing. Instead, he turn away from the group with a swish of his cape and headed to the locker rooms next to the training area.
Now the only Gotham vigilante there, Robin was the focus of the JL's attention. Wonder Woman knelt in front of him to talk. "Will you tell us what's going on?"
Robin scoffed, crossed his arms, and tilted his head up to look down his nose at her. "Do not be so patronising. We invited you here to prove that we do, in fact, trust you all, and you have accused us of trying to trick you?" He expertly hid his satisfaction at the guilt that took over the adults' faces. "Perhaps we should not have let you come here." He turn with just as much dramatics as both Batman and Nightwing. "Come, I'll-"
"What're you all still doing here?" Batman glared as he came out from the locker rooms, several things in hand.
"I was just showing them to the Zeta Tubes." Robin answered.
"Hn." Batman grunted, walking back to the upper level first. The visiting heroes followed him sullenly. Robin took up the rear. Nightwing chose that moment to ride back into the Cave.
"Where you all going?" He called from the garage as he parked his bike.
"Robin was just showing them out," Batman didn't raise his voice above what it normally was, even as he walked away from everyone and into the less echo-y chamber of the lab.
Nightwing pouted. "Boo," He was quick to join them on the upper level. "Why don't you pack it in for the night, Baby Bat? I'll take these guys home." His wink to the adultier adults was not hidden by his mask. How does he do that?
Robin nodded. "Very well." He promptly turned and left for the locker rooms.
"C'mon," Nightwing ushered, "B's run outta patience. I'm glad he lasted this long, though! It took forever to get him to let me and Robin show you around! And, when Spoiler heard we had company, she just had to come say 'hi'. Though, I'm sad you couldn't meet Agent A or O or Signal."
"Who?" Superman asked.
Nightwing laughed, the sound echoing in the Zeta Room. "Agent A's the one who makes sure we're all still alive at the end of the day. O is our eye in the sky, our ear to the ground, our guy in the chair. She knows everything. Nothing happens in Gotham without her knowing. And Signal is our newest addition. He's the only meta allowed to operate in the city, proven by the bat on his costume. He's our daytime hero, though, so he's out on patrol right now. A shame you couldn't meet him."
"And Batwoman?" Wonder Woman mentioned as she stepped up to the Zeta Tubes.
"Who?" Nightwing joked. The others didn't find it amusing. "Tough crowd," he mumbled. "Batwoman doesn't normally work with us. She's B's cousin. She's usually with the Birds of Prey, but she decided to come help us out for a bit."
"Birds of Prey?" Flash wondered.
"A story for another time, I'm afraid," Nightwing sighed, "The Zeta's are all set for the Watchtower. It was nice having you guys here, even though I had to leave so soon after you get here."
Cyborg patted his shoulder. "It's alright, shit happens. Is everyone at the bank alright?"
Nightwing nodded, "Yeah, no one got hurt."
"That's good."
With the final word said, the eight visiting heroes left Gotham. Nightwing was careful as he left, resetting the traps and security measures.
"And that's a wrap!" Jason called over comms.
Barbra took over just long enough to say, "Movie night at Wayne Manor!" before Selina cut everyone's comms.
Part 6 Part 8
#Batman's Biggest Hater#part 7#they're a family of detectives#using their powers for good#pranks#batfam#justice league#jl#batman is so dramatic#bruce wayne is batman's biggest hater#the batkids are also very dramatic#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#it's their motto#it's working for some reason#superman#martian manhunter#aquaman#the flash#green arrow#green lantern#cyborg#wonder woman#batman#robin#nightwing
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cursed thought that came to mind: yknow how in yandere overhaul fics, they always talk about how he'd prioritise your health over everything? i mean, he's taking blood samples weekly, doing clinical examinations to find any "abnormality", keeping tabs on ur vitals, etc. he probably tests ur hormone levels, maybe even check ur scalp for- anything really- lice, cysts, etc.
ofc, this means he'll be closely monitoring your diet too right? gotta make sure u are getting all the nutrients and stuff. probably starts u on a healthy, high fibre diet too. and that got me thinking....
there's obviously cameras in ur room right? he's watching u 24/7, u know that. what u dont know is... well those are not just normal cameras, they're... infrared cameras.
why does he have these thermal cameras? probably wanted to know if ur body temperature is normal or varying too much. and these cameras detect different zones of heat in the body.
but u know what else emits heat and shows up on the cameras?
farts.
and since overhaul has u on this good healthy diet, probably even makes u exercise, well- ur gut has never been healthier, which means you pass intestinal gases pretty regularly. and the thing is, u dont get to go to the toilet whenever u feel the need to go-no, no. theres a schedule for bathroom and if u abuse it by going in to release ur farts, you'd probably make him worry about u having a UTI or something. its not like he can make u stop. why would he, when it is a perfectly normal human function and he should NOT feel disgusted by it- what do u mean why is he wearing a hazmat suit?
see now, this is his next project. once he's done making those quirk cancelling bullets, then its time for flatulence cancelling bullets.
the things u do for love <3
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i hope this isn't too personal of a question (and if it is that's totally cool, i was literally just curious as a fellow aspec person), but i was wondering what some of your thoughts were about being aspec, like it's totally cool if your thoughts were just the post you reblogged!!! that's honestly still putting into words a bit a similar way i figured out i was aspec, but i know you seem to have really interesting takes on things/conclusions you've realized about things a lot of the time and so i was just curious what thoughts were turning around your head about being aspec
I don't mind talking about it at all!
So for me sex is like this perfunctory, borderline tedious thing. I almost want to call it a chore, but that has negative connotations that don't exactly match up with how I feel about it. It's like something on a to do list, or like running an errand.
Think of it this way: For me, having sex is akin to going to the pharmacy. Actually, it's more like being asked to go for someone else. It's not on my list of things I enjoy doing and there are other things I would rather do, but I don't mind going if someone asks me to. But once in a blue moon I do actually want to go because I want candy or a Juneberry Red Bull or some shit like that and Walgreens happens to be nearby.
Media builds up sex to be this incredible and awesome and amazing thing that everyone wants to have, which is at odds with the widely held societal belief that it's uncouth to discuss sex openly with others. So if media says "yes you should want this" and society says "but you shouldn't talk about it with others because it's an incredibly private act" it makes it kinda difficult when you don't feel the way you're "supposed to." And then when you do talk about how you don't feel that way, people say there's something wrong with you or that you haven't found the right person or that maybe you need to change things up in the bedroom or that you need to go to a doctor because it's gotta be a hormonal imbalance or something. The list really does go on and on.
And so many of my expectations surrounding sex were informed by fanfic where I read, in detail, about how good it was supposed to feel. About all the different ways it could feel good.
I wanted it to be like that for me, for it to be as good as I had read and seen and heard others talk about, so I kept on trying. And sometimes I enjoyed it. Not E rated fanfic enjoyed it, but it was nice. Nice in the same way a cup of tea is nice, but nice nonetheless.
But most of the time it was like, clinical? Like I was acutely aware of what was happening, if that makes sense. I was thinking about the mechanics of it, what was going in where. I was thinking about how it was "supposed to feel" versus how it actually felt. I would wonder how much longer it would take because I was getting bored. Sometimes I would think about how rude it would be if I checked my phone. And probably the most upsetting (retrospectively) thing I would think about was if my act of enjoyment was convincing enough. And I didn't ever want to tell a partner that I wasn't enjoying it because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. Because I thought it was a me problem. That there was something wrong with me. And there being something wrong with me wasn't fair to whoever I was with. I just needed to grin and bear it, so to speak.
At one point I had a bit of a gay panic where I thought wasn't bisexual and actually a lesbian. The panic was over the confusion, not over the potential lesbianism. Lesbians are awesome. But I learned that while sexual intimacy with women was a bit easier, my feelings (or lack thereof) about sex were still the same. And that meant there was something wrong with me in particular.
I know now that my perspective was warped and my thoughts about myself were both unkind and untrue, but that was a lot to try and reconcile as a 19 year old who already thought she was undesirable. Constantly being called a "late bloomer" and not having your first relationship until you're a sophomore in college sure does a number on your self esteem. Which in turn does a number on your perception of yourself.
Then as I got older, I got more queer friends. And I talked to those queer friends. And they talked about sex differently than my straight friends did. More openly and honestly. With less fanfare. And it was during those discussions that I heard about experiences similar to mine. And it helped me realize I wasn't broken. Well, that and google.
And now I stand before you today, an aspec bisexual able to joke about being horny in theory but not in application. It's nice not feeling broken anymore. But I think it's even nicer now knowing that I was never broken in the first place.
Sometimes sex is nice, but most of the time, it's just going to the pharmacy. And both of those things are okay.
#asks#if 20 year old Berklie could see me talking so frankly about my sex life she'd probably implode#but if you never talk about this kinda stuff it makes it awful hard for folks to know they're not the only ones#that they're not alone#and most importantly: that they're not broken like she had always been led to believe
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My boyo. He's so adorable but SOOOO deranged it's not even funny. Like how do you work for human traffickers to make up for your inescapable poverty, use your magic to turn people into puppets to sell, enchant them to participate in a whimsical musical number for no reason but your own personal amusement, tell the terrified victims over loudspeaker how shit you think they are, let yourself be enraged by a bunch of sassy high schoolers and then decide by the end of the day, to quote my dear friend Azul Ashengrotto, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!! How does one go from trafficking children to wanting to found a school for magicless children in the span of 24 hours. How do you manage to escape a probably exploitative work contract AND steal your bosses' property in the span of 24 hours with nothing but 1 madol and a dream? How's he going to fund this school? He apparently has to be worried about getting enough to eat. How do you just go "you're right, no more trafficking children, from now on I'm gonna commit to the good of humanity :)"
His lesson from the whole thing was "actually schools are good!" rather than "wow I feel so bad for all the people I probably sold :/"
There is not a sane bone in his body and no rational thought in his brain. His thoughts probably contain so much cursing that the sentences are unintelligible when you censor them. Everytime he speaks to a person he doesn't like, he internally adds "you mediocre little fuckshit pissbabies" or similar to the end of the statements. He has the most deranged evil laugh ever. Even when he likes you and you tell him a funny joke he goes "hehehahahaaAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAH" like he's about to kill someone. He likes having his little ears scratched. He bites though.
He's like the biggest asshole cat you can mentally picture. He doesn't just push stuff off your shelves, he takes the vases and chucks them at unsuspecting pedestrians. He's mad at you and you ask him for a glass of milk and he takes the milk carton out of the fridge and pours the entire thing all over the floor and kitchen counters without breaking eye contact. There's a collection of knives on his bedroom wall.
He's my special little guy. They want to study him to update the DSM-5. He eats the rich. He needs some money to found his little school so he gotta work in retail, scanning the customers' products at checkout and muttering "fucking bourgeoisie cockroach" under his breath. Shamelessly lists "amusement park manager" and "salesman" in his CV as if he worked at a legitimate business. He once had a mental breakdown at the grocery store after closing hour and downed a bottle of whiskey straight from the shelf and then danced through the snack aisle stabbing his cane into the chips bags out of boredom while singing "you're never fully dressed without a smile". Gidel being mute is the only reason this kid does not curse like an uncensored Rapper version of Ebenezer Scrooge.
He's clinically insane. He's the most wondrous attraction at Playful Land. He hopes the afterlife is a musical. He's Fellow Honest. This is a fake name.
#twst#fellow honest#twst fellow#twisted wonderland fellow honest#twisted wonderland#stage in playful land
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I did all three backstories for Touchstarved (I have 12 hours on this thing and it's only the demo)
Kuras and Vere don't seem to have red options, but Vere does have a secret ending and Kuras... I don't know, holds you for a bit longer?
For Mhin, it really is just picking The Alchemist backstory. You can call them short or whatever and you'll still get it.
For Leander, you have to take the flowers and keep touching him. It's okay if you hold back the first time even.
For Ais, you gotta tell him fuck you and pet the soulless, and after that red option pretty much all yours.
Differences I found between the three backstories:
It is pretty much like how they tell you, Oracle gets premonitions, Hound has experience with people and survival, and Alchemist has knowledge about magic and science, so there's different things you find out with each one.
The Alchemist:
I may be a little bit biased, but think The Alchemist is the most informative (It's also the first one I picked). There's the expected info of noticing that Vere's collar is enchanted, or knowing about how strong Leander really is when it comes to magic, but it's got the added bonus of MC's mentor having been in the Senobium in the past.
Compared to the others, The Alchemist is more familiar with Senobium, albeit through word of mouth. It's interesting how many times the MC says something similar to "I didn't know the Senobium did that." It calls into question whether MC's teacher was lying, or more interestingly (and what I think might be the case), the Senobium has changed a lot recently. It's talked about, even without the Alchemist backstory, that the Senobium used to be somewhere you could go to for help, but now most of the characters you meet do not like the Senobium, so what changed?
The Hound:
The Hound (the least popular option, apparently) was pretty fun. The Hound notices more about Ais, specifically that he's very suited to be a leader, and that the number of scars he has (one) seems suspicious for his temperament (or "how seasoned he acts", as the MC puts it).
One thing that I found very fun was doing Mhin's route as the Hound. They're somewhat able to keep up! They can (or tried to) recognize tells, and noted that Mhin was one of the few people who was able to sneak up on them. They also weren't sure how Vere managed to get their key. They were also prepared to steal to survive.
The Oracle:
While The Hound notices physical things, the Oracle notices... how do you say, otherworldly things. The Seaspring seems to be hiding a lot (of course it is), but the MC notices a heartbeat. A presence. They feel something from Ais. The name Ocudeus means something, they can feel it. They feel like they can see Ais' tattoo move.
Also, the MC feels something from Mhin and Kuras (in his clinic at least), which is interesting!
If I had to decide which love interest was better with which backstory...
Vere: The fact that the Alchemist thought that they could tell what enchantments were on his collar if only they could touch it feels promising! And both their connections (though I mean connection in the loosest term for MC here) to the Senobium makes it feel like you might very well find something.
The Hound might be one of the few who can actually survive this guy if I'm gonna be honest. (I mean you can still get killed by him but. You know.)
Ais: The Oracle's sixth sense makes going to the Seaspring a lot more interesting compared to the others, and the way they can feel something from Ais is very cool.
The Hound can tell his character better than the others, and I wonder how that will come into play later on.
Kuras: The Alchemist knows their way around spell-crafting and alchemy (When I picked this I wondered if they would be able to help Kuras around the clinic, which doesn't happen, but hey it might).
The Oracle seems to also feel something from him.
Mhin: First things first, their red option literally requires you to have the Alchemist backstory. Mhin's precision is noticed by the other MCs sure, but not to that detail.
Watching the Hound observe where they could be was so fun to watch. It feels like this MC will be able to keep up.
The Oracle feels something from Mhin, something inhuman.
Leander: The Alchemist was able to tell that the flash of magic was a barrier spell, and that most magic (or at least the ones they're familiar with) uses an incantation or spell circle. His didn't.
But either way, there will be things to find no matter the backstory you choose, and all of the character's stories are intertwined, so don't let this dissuade you from a specific backstory! There will always be things to find, you just need to look.
Extra: I found it pretty cool how each MC has a different way of knowing what a Groupmind is. Story-wise this makes sense of course, but each of their reactions to it are slightly different, from I heard this from rumours of people in cults (Hound), to I used to be told I could put people in a groupmind (Oracle), to legends suggest it was possible with a strong enough catalyst but it's never been done before (Alchemist).
Also, it's interesting to know what they each think of surroundings (specifically the Amaryllis district). They all have different opinions from I used to be told bizarre things about this place and now I kinda get it (Alchemist), to it's not that different from the place I grew up in (Hound), to it's VERY different from where I grew up in (Oracle).
And if I'm not mistaken, the reason Vere gives for your desperation is different for all of them!
You can find gameplay from me on my Youtube channel, or watch me getting all the red options and secret ending here:
youtube
I didn't read it out loud cause my mic sorta sucks and sometimes it peaks and gets a bit shrill. Also you see how my mouse moves sometimes? It means I'm screaming. I don't think I'd have been able to keep calm enough for this. Also my reading kinda sucks anyway hope you like it lol
#If you guys watch the 3 hour unedited version and find my friend going online please tell me the timestamp#I cannot find it#There are two and I found one of them#It's a fun little easter egg I guess. If you even care#Touchstarved#Touchstarved game#touchstarved spoilers#I had fun doing this#sweetmountainseeds#Oh btw#I may be wrong#Yes I replayed the game four times#But I might be wrong#There might be things you need/don't need to do#I can't really tell anymore#I mean everything here should be right but do correct me if I'm wrong
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