#now i just gotta go to clinicals and take the
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i did the damn thing yall
#i passed my finals#now i just gotta go to clinicals and take the#state exams#then iâll be a cna#so slay
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#my psych who prescribes my psych meds is a resident and is moving on in a couple of months#i don't even remember the names of them all at this point#this happens over and over and I cannot find a clinic that will put me with someone who intends to stay#thst will also prescribe my adhd meds#and my anxiety meds#and the real kicker is that twice now they have LIED about it and said they would#only to reveal after all the hoop-jumping that oops sorry they didn't really mean it#so it's a risk i have to take any time i leave#and rhen there's the issue of new people almost always wanting to DO something#but instead of talking to me about it they just decide that my meds need overhauling and pressure me to go off shit that works#but that they morally object to i guess#and my psych for some stupid reason has decided she wants bloodwork for my cholesterol and blood sugar stuff and im just like#what hell does THIS presage because if she harasses me about the results or tries to put me on drugs for that#I'll give her a nasty scrap about it#im not interested in those meds at all#and im certainly not messing with my diet since food is the only pleasure i get most days and even that is marginal at best#and removing that would just make me worse#but medpros for the most part really don't give a fuck about that#and so now im afraid - because i do not and cannot trust them - that if i disapprove of the meds they will retaliate somehow#which good luck proving that when management and oversight often don't even care if they course of treatment will HARM you#if it relates to being fat or having bad numbers#they just gotta pathologize!#so yeah im sick of everything and just kind of want to bury myself in a bog forever#i shouldn't have to deal with this
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Magenta đ€Ź
#my state is complaining about not having enough customers for psilocybin treatments#well as someone that heavily advocated for it to be legalized because of research and science lemme tell you why:#you gatekept your whole client base via outpricing them because you don't want to serve people with medium to low incomes#you only want rich people as your clients when the majority of people who could legitimately benefit from this treatment#are one paycheck away from homelessness or have to choose between an 800-1200 dose or buying groceries for the next month for their families#now look I get it you gotta get your cake and eat it too#but that's no excuse for isolating a large client base just because you're offended that poor people with mental health issues exist#if you want to keep this shit rolling and not have the state overturn anything#make it more accessible to people that truly need it and I'm telling you word of mouth travels fast#you'll get more clients more advocacy and more investment into research#by giving people an opportunity#and making them feel included in the process#thats what yall did when you started the petitions to get lawmakers to take the benefits seriously#so what changed?#what turned you into greedy cunts?#oh yeah money and again you're offended poor people exist#y'all know too folks will just go to a dealer they know and get it for cheaper right?#i mean whats the point in paying 3 to 5k for a special âretreatâ where you pay an additional 1k to 2k for 3 doses#when johnny boy down the street can hook you up with 10 doses for 100 bucks and a bag of chips?#and btw guys wtf happened to all that money that was supposed to go to creating state of the art mental health clinics and facilities#when measure 110 got passed that decriminalized drugs?#no one has an answer???#hmmm#it's no wonder we are near dead last in mental health in this country#its like i said in the meeting: you guys love to profit off the suffering of others#magenta#magenta is my vent word
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was brave and talked to my doctor abt my period bs + she said it might be endometriosis without me even having to bring it up... đ
#shes prescribed me naproxen & tranexamic acid for now bc theyre basically the only 2 painkiller options i havent tried yet#but shes said she'll text me some resources on endometriosis and asked me to book an appt in january to update her#and then she can either issue a repeat script or we can go down the route of trying to diagnose a condition#which would likely take a long time so id probably have to try hormonal meds again in the meantime but she was rly understanding abt#the fact id had negative experiences w them before so was apprehensive abt it. so nice to have a dr who actually cares instead of trying#to fob me off w over the counter meds which is what happened last time lol#she was like wow im surprised they told you to take codeine for cramps thats not smth id recommend due to the side effects đ#like damn. well ive been doing it for the last few years and yeah its not great#augh.... its ok tho i feel better now im actively doing smth abt it and looking for a diagnosis is an option thats available#bc ik how rare it is for gps to take patients seriously. the average diagnosis time for endometriosis is 12 years in wales đđ#my mums had such a struggle with gynaecology in her part of the country too shes been waiting for an operation for almost a year#and they booked her in for it and everything and then when she showed up the doctor was like im so so sorry i dont have access to a clinic#and i wanted to cancel your appt bc obvs i cant carry out the surgery without a clinic but the practice refused to let me cancel it#she showed my mum emails shed sent to management begging them to let her cancel patients she wasnt able to treat bc its such a waste of#everyones time and resources and rly shitty to do but they told her to 'watch herself and think about meeting her targets' đ#bc cancellations look bad on their records so they were forcing her to hold appts without treatment anyway lmfao#insane country how is the nhs still functioning.#anyway thats todays medical report ik how eagerly u guys have been waiting on my pussy update#didnt ask abt antidepressants bc didnt have time and anyway im handling it better now its just taken a while to adjust to the shorter days#and the cramp stuff is way more pressing bc i get them for a week or two before my period AND when i ovulate now#so im probably spending equal amts of time in pain than not in pain every month now đ#actually makes me feel fucking insane when i start thinking about it. its fine tho. okay im gonna piss and then go out again to sort out#everything ive gotta do today and then i can just chill this afternoon#how is it only 10am.....#.diaries
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baby's first run-in with emergency contraception has her thinking that maybe the pain of iud placement and associated side effects wouldn't be so bad
#took the three hour drive to think while listening to call her daddy after taking the pill#and honestly its not a bad idea#now i have to decide between copper and hormonal#im high key scared to gain weight and other things that come with hormonal due to other issues so copper might be the way to go#if i go through with it im hoping to get it over thanksgiving or christmas break or have it by then at least#i just really dont want to go back on the pill and the arm implant has even worse side effects on some women#and i really dont want that either#anyway gotta love having a uterus :D#so silly goofy#now i have to figure out who to go to to get it#my first thought was planned parenthood or the hope clinic but maybe i need to go to my pcp first?
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I'm your only situationship.
A/N : yall i stayed up til 324 am writing this. I felt like if i went to bed still only having it as a thought and not on 'paper' thats unacceptable. If i gotta think about this then so do yall! it was also supposed to be a small one shot but it got wildly out of hand im not sorry.
18+ MDNI
TW: typical smut, EXPLICIT mmkay im talkin clutch ur pearls explicit.
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Simon had finally come home from a grueling 6-month mission. All he wanted was some Kentucky bourbon with you at your favorite seedy bar.Â
Once he was home, Simon cleaned up, put on a black clinical mask, and sent a text to you to meet him there. As he finished his first glass of the night, a rather attractive young woman approached him, asking if she could buy him a drink.Â
âIsnât it supposed to be the other way around, lovie?â
âNot at all. This is after all the 21st century. Iâm simply askingâ wouldnât want any missus at home getting upset.â
âThereâs no one at home for me, lass.â
âWell then, how about you get yourself another glass, my treat, and weâll see where this night takes us?âÂ
He slightly nodded âheâd never say no to a free drinkâ and as she left to order a drink, he took his phone out to text you again.
âCâmon, pet. Iâll cover the tab. Too good fâme, now?â
His phone vibrated a minute later.
âI canât today, Si.â
âWhy not? I know you donât go out on Sundays.â
As the young woman came back, drinks in hand, he lifted the screen to read your response.
âIâve got a dick appointment~ Itâs been a year and then some and Iâm gonna claw at my walls if I donât get a fix ASAP.â
Simon goes tenseâ soft blues hardening to a silver and heâs gripping his phone so hard it might crack. He pulls up your contact and calls you within seconds.
âHiya, Si!âÂ
âWhat the fuck is a dick appointment?â
âOh,â you giggle. âI forget you older folk donât know âbout that. Itâs just a one-night fling. No commitments or nothin'.â Exactly what I need right now.â You donât tell him that the reason youâve practically regrown your hymen is that when youâre best friends with Simon, every other male in existence pales in comparison.Â
âAnyway Si-, heâs getting here in like an hour-â
âNo.â And hangs up.Â
The young woman whoâs casually rubbing his bicep and shoulder gets practically flung off of him, as he gets up off the bar stool so fast itâs falling back with a loud clang, and heâs yanking his leather jacket on and pulling on his leather gloves so hard theyâre about to become fingerlessâ
âHey! I thought you didnât have a girlfriend?!â
One gloved hand gripping the front door, he turns his head slightly to her and says, âPet, with how good Iâm gonna fuck her, she wonât even have to ask to know sheâs mine.â
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Youâre standing in the bathroom with your liquid eyeliner in one hand and phone in the other, staring at the ended call screen. âWeird,â you think, then shrug and put the phone down. âMaybe the call got dropped.â
You finally complete the look with your false lashes when thereâs a very hard knock on your door. You frown as you look at your phone screen. â7:14 pmâ. You know the guy said at 8 and youâre in one of Simonâs big shirts he always forgets and your hair is still tied up in an oversized pink and white polka dot scrunchieâ The pink leopard print booty shorts youâve got on will suffice.Â
The second time thereâs a knock itâs even louder.Â
âJesus Christ, Iâm coming!âÂ
You open the door and say, âIâm sorry I took so long, Iââ
Simon flies past you, with a rough shoulder bump and you turn to look at him and heâs almost sprinting to the bedroom, slamming the door openâ
âSimon, what the fuck? Whatâre you doinââ
âWhere is he?â, he snarls.
âWho?! Are you talking about my date? Heâs not getting here til 8! And whyâre you slamming doors in my apartment like you pay my rent?!â
You see Simon deflate immediately at the important part of your answer and chooses to ignore the rest as he takes off his jacket and walks to your hall closet to hang it. Closing your door and locking it, you growl out,
âYou need to leave. I havenât even finished getting ready. I promise Iâllââ
âNo, pet.â
âWill you quit interrupting me! Simon, I swearââ
âPet.âÂ
Youâre holding a scream behind your teeth, about to rip the hair out of your scalp when you see Simon take one loop of his mask off from around his ear and then the other. You gape. Youâve seen Simon without his maskâ that isnât the reason you can no longer find your voice. Itâs the way he put his gloved middle finger in between his teeth and pulled it off so sensually. You can feel your cheeks and ears radiate heat from just seeing the tip of his pink tongue. Christ, youâre down horrendously.
You open your mouth to say something, anything, to distract yourself from the fact that youâre getting wet over an interaction so chaste when Simon is touching your ass, giving it a hard squeeze, before moving down to the back of your thighs and lifting you up. You startle at the movement and throw your arms around his neck out of habit, hoping he wonât drop you in the move to your bedroom.
He presses you against the wall with his hips, then grabs both of your ankles from behind his lower back and hooks the back of your knees over his forearms. Simon noses your jaw and starts grinding his clothed erection deliciously hard over the definitely wet spot on your shorts and growls out,Â
âIf you think,â grind âthat Iâm gonna allow My,â grind âGirl,â grindâand you whimper in his ear, âget fucked by some little cock two pump chump,â he gives a forced chuckle, âyou must be daft, pet. Or maybe youâre doing it on purpose, eh? Trying to get my attention? Well, youâve got it now. âÂ
He moves his face to hover his lips over yoursâ you can lightly smell the bourbon he drank earlierâ and he whispers, âYou ever like this and Iâm around, you come to me. And if Iâm away, you wait for me like a good girl and when I come back Iâll give this,â he taps your pussy over your shorts, âgreedy little cunt all the cock it can take.â
With a shaky breath, you nod before he kisses you, his bourbon-flavored tongue curling against yours, and youâre moaning into it because youâve wanted this for too long and heâs finally touching you. Curling your fingers into his ash-brown hair, you move your mouth to his neck, to the right of his adamâs apple, took a bit of skin between your teeth and sucked.Â
Simon hisses, dips his fingertips into your flesh hard enough to bruise, and all but yanks you off the wall to toss you onto your bed.Â
You yelp as you bounce from the force of his throwâ youâre still bouncing on the bed when Simon grabs the waistband of your shorts and knickers to pull right off, which youâre grateful for because the grey knickers you got on arenât what anyone would wear for a first, second nor third impression.
Simon grabs both of the back of your knees with one hand, goddamn bear paws, you think, before you feel his tongue in between your lipsâ so warm and wet and fuck, you needed this, needed himâ and he flicks his tongue up and down on your clit. He sticks his long middle finger into you and it goes in without resistance, youâre slippery, drooling over his wrist and finger thatâs curled up into the rough patch of nerves against your gummy walls, that heâs pressing into, over and over. God youâre about to come, your legs shake in his one-handed hold and youâve got a white knuckle grip on the forearm youâre sinking your nails intoâ
Simon pulls away. You were so close, your eyes start watering because he canât possibly be this mean to you but then you see him shove his tongue in between his middle and ring finger, eating up your nectar when he says, âThe first time Iâm gonna make you come, itâll be on my cock. I want to see the frothy white cream you're gonna leave at the base.âÂ
Youâre nodding hysterically at this point, anything for him to make you come, anything for him. With a twirl of his index, heâs telling you to get on all fours. Scrambling, you turn over and arch your backâ resting your head on your forearmsâ and you feel his calloused palms run down from your spine to your ass cheeks before he gives it a spank.Â
âYou have a condom?âÂ
You shake your head and you mewl out, âNo, but Iâm clean.â
âGood. I donât want anything between us.â
You arch your back further, pressing your ass further into his hips when you hear his belt buckle clank and zipper open. Simon brings his palm to your other cheek, reddening it.Â
âFuckinâ hell, pet. Look at you spread out for me.âÂ
You feel warm velvet over steel over your slit before he slowly pushes inside, not all the way but about a little over half of his length, remembering that your g-spot is a little closer to the front. Fast, relatively shallow thrusts hitting your spot with almost clinical precision have you reeling, your orgasm about to break you, mind and body. Hands tightening painfully, you shatterâ loud, high-pitched whines, ringing in your ears and pussy pulsing around Simonâs thick girthâ and god, Simon doesnât stop thrusting. He keeps the same smooth rhythm and youâd think heâs unaffected by the tight vice your pussy has him inâ but you hear him, low, deep groans and a tighter grip on your hips telling you otherwise.Â
He pulls out to bend over your back, completely covering it, and he murmurs in your ear, âI hope you didnât think we were done. My girl wanted a fuckinâ, now sheâs gonna get it.âÂ
He takes off your pink, silly scrunchy and you see it around his tattooed wrist before he grabs your hair into a makeshift ponytail and is leaning back up and forcing your back to arch under his pull. You feel his leg at the height of your hipsâ propped up, foot flat on the bed and knee bent and the other straight on the floor and all you can think of is how this man is gonna kill you with his cock.Â
Simon snaps his hips forward, fist full of hair pulling back, stretching and filling in one strong thrust, bottoming out. He gives you no reprieve, no time to get used to how fucking deep he is, and sets an intense, firm pace that has you feeling a pinch below the navel every time his hip bones slap against your ass, balls to the clit and you love it. Every pinch in your lower belly has your pussy making a squelching sound and you canât help yourselfâ you reach underneath your body to feel how split open you are with two fingers, encasing his cock and feeling the skin drag with them as he pulls out.
That has him hissing air between his teeth, heâs about to come but doesn't want it to be over so he pulls out, and opens your cheeks to spit in your furled hole, before pressing in with the pad of his thumb, and youâre almost screaming. He moves back a bit further to spit in your pussy, not that you need itâ youâre drenching the sheets underneath youâ and now heâs spearing you with his tongue before curling it, getting your juices pooled on it before coming back up, lips smacking, and he grabs your hair in his ponytail and now he uses his other hand to curls his fingers and palm over the front of your throat and that's all it takes for your vision to darken and arms go limp but heâs again, fucking you through your orgasm and this time you leave a creamy white ring at the base of his length.Â
âOh, fuckin hell.â He groans out and it sounds desperate and you know heâs close.
âCome in me, Simon. Please fill me up, I promise Iâll keep it all in.â
He gives a strained chuckle and says, âPet, I can barely pull out of a driveway much less this tight little cunt.â He squeezes your throat hard, strands of hair popping out of your scalp and his cock feels massive, the pinch in your stomach feels like a cramp from how deep he is and he lets out a low drawn out moan that lasts 3 thrustsâ and then thereâs warmth filling you up, so much so it leaks from the sides of where you two are connected. Simon lets go of your hair and you fall face-first onto the bed, exhausted. Defeated. Back properly broken. You officially know what itâs like to get fucked within an inch of your life and you love it.Â
He pulls out slowly, with a hiss from both of you and with one hand on your left cheek, he spreads you to look at your stuffed hole.
âFuck. I love seeing me drip out of you.âÂ
Youâre about to tell him to sod off when the doorbell rings and the both of you stiffen and lock eyes. With a mean snarl, Simon grabs a towel from your bathroom and his mask before stomping his way to answer the door, pink obnoxious scrunchy still on his wrist.
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#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#cod smut#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley smut#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost x you#ghost cod#cod mwii#ghost mw2#ghost simon riley#call of duty smut
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Finally taking the time to organize all my notes from post-bacc and grad school todayđ«Ąđ«Ąđ«Ą
#text#I have so much to go throughâŠbut itâll be much easier to find things in the endâŠ#Iâm just gotta keep separe binders by types of disorders for now..#so voiceâarticulationâcognitionâlanguageâhearing etc.#im gonna need to clear space in my bookshelf as well..#gonna start on my voice notes first since I have clinic next semester#weâll see how long this takes me lol#but I gotta get my shit in order before the semester starts
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Do you have any buddie fic recs that is a /must/ read for Buddie shippers ( sorry I don't ship Bucktommy đ„č)
Boy do I ever!!!
honey, when you call my name - @hippolotamus (Explicit)
"Eddie witnesses the Buck/Lucy kiss, has himself a little panic, and decides to do something about it when Buck does his Buck thing and won't stop pushing Eddie's buttons" It's spicy, it's sweet, it's packed full of feels and there was not a dry eye in the house!!
Whatever may come (your heart I will choose) - @hippolotamus (Mature)
"The Story of Eddie and Christopher Diaz" The number of times I yelled at Hippo while reading this,,,, it is incredible!! 30 chapters of Buckley-Diaz family feels, Eddie's heartbreaking backstory and FUCK if I could read it for the first time again, I would!
James Bond AU Series - @princessfbi (Teen & Explicit)
James Bond AU with 007 Agent Eddie Diaz and Buck as Q. Incredible. No notes. Read them back to back in one sitting, and then read them again immediately after. No prior knowledge of James Bond needed (cause I sure didn't have any) but be prepared to have the sudden urge to go watch all the films.
Kink Club AU Series - @princessfbi (Explicit)
"Canon compliant one shots where Eddie works at a Kink Club as a side hustle and meets Buck there before his first shift in 2x01." This series is insanely good. 5 perfect fics of the boys and BDSM, it is incredibly hot, full of feels and just.... yeah. Incredible. Please do read the tags before each fic though, especially if BDSM isn't your thing.
because we'll all arrive in heaven alive - @neverevan (Explicit)
"During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him." I was literally on the edge of my seat with every single chapter release. It's SO angsty and delicious and absolutely incredible, and I think also very feasible for what could happen in canon should Timothy ever decide to be as mean (affectionate) as Newbie was by putting the boys through this.
Out Of Order, Still In Line - @neverevan (Explicit)
"When Buck finally gets to the Clinic, the long awaited release doesnât seem to come; cue Eddie to the rescue." One of the first Buddie fics I read and it altered my brain chemistry a little. Lord have mercy. It's just ... you gotta read it. Like, Jesus đ„”
My Blood on Your Skin (My Rose on Your Snow) - @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Explicit)
"When Eddie needs cash and fast to take care of Christopher, his LAFD Academy buddy suggests a job as a bouncer at Elysium - an exclusive sex club in downtown Los Angeles. Eddie doesn't care what goes on there, so long as he's paid, but he finds he cares a lot bout the club's enigmatic owner, Evan Buckley, and it's not long before the two of them are violating every boss-employee rule in the book. But there's something different about Buck and the club, something not quite... human. If Eddie wants to keep Buck, he's going to have to delve into the world of immortals, and all the risks that implies." Honestly I think the blurb says it all. I read this at my cousin's wedding (literally just before the ceremony and during the reception fsdkjdfs) because I literally couldn't put it down. Incredible Greek Gods integration and so. fucking. hot. Sorry Caleb, I hope your matrimony is holy but this was so worth it.
stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong - @daffi-990 (Unrated at present)
"Probational Firefighters Evan âBuckâ Buckley and Eddie Diaz meet on a call which ends with them at odds with each other. As the months roll by, they keep running into each other on the job, much to Eddieâs dismay and Buckâs delight. Can they put aside their first opinions and misunderstandings and allow the seeds of friendship, and possibly something more, to take root?" This AU has been eating me alive with snippets for the last few months and the chapters are FINALLY being published!! Stay tuned for weekly updates about our idiots being - well - idiots. Daffi has written them so well and I don't think I could yell louder about this one if I wanted.
Cow Eyes - @theotherbuckley (General)
"'Eddie's in hospital and Buck tries not to break down' fic except its actually just a cute silly little fic" Exactly what is says on the tin. Cute, silly, fluffy and entirely adorable. High!Eddie is fucking hilarious and Worried!Buck has my whole ass heart. Love this fic, have read it many times, will read many times more
Both Blade and Branch - @cal-daisies-and-briars (Mature)
"The chances of being struck by lightning twice are incredibly minute, but Buck still manages to pull it off. During a double date with Marisol and Natalia, nonetheless. Eddie manages to resuscitate him, but as Buck recovers from yet another trauma, Eddie canât help but notice thereâs something very different about him. Heâs not quite sure what version of Buck he got back." Orpheus and Eurydice vibes but somehow more heartbreaking because it's the Boys? Literally every chapter I was gobsmacked and the fact that I couldn't read it in one sitting due to Lifeâąïž was frankly criminal.
what humans do - @gayhoediaz
""âŠand the thought that she had just escaped death by such a narrow margin made me realize the intensity of my feelings toward her.â Eddie swallows. ââWhatâs the matter?â I couldnât tell her, so I kissed her instead,â Buck goes on, and since Eddieâs eyes are focused on the page, they drift ahead a little bit, and the next few lines have him swallowing once again, taking his hand back to brace himself against the mattress as he slowly starts to push himself up to sit. âKissing is what humans do when words have reached a place they canât escape from. It is a switch to another language. The kiss was an act of defiance, maybe of war. You canât touch us, is what the kiss said. âI love you,â I told her, and as I smelled her skin, I knew I had never wanted anyone or anything more than I wanted herâŠâ Buck trails off when Eddie reaches for the book, gently luring it out of his grasp. " One of the best getting together fics I've read. So sweet, so hot, full of feels, and also just very đ€Ż in many places. Just insanely well written and perfect imagery.
Also I have a small list of authors whom I love dearly:
@spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @wildlife4life @thewolvesof1998 @thekristen999
@steadfastsaturnsrings @watchyourbuck @fortheloveofbuddie @rainbow-nerdss @bidisasterevankinard
@aroeddiediaz @jesuisici33 @wikiangela @loveyouanyway @kitteneddiediaz
@actuallyitsellie @dangerpronebuddie @loserdiaz @elvensorceress @underwaterninja13
@smilingbuckley
Literally anything these wonderful people (and the authors of the above fics) have written is well worth a read. I would rec all of their words and make individual recs for all their fics but I fear I simply do not have the words.
I might also humbly suggest some of my fics, which you can find here! Happy reading!!!
#james answers things#fic recs#buddie fics#buddie#buddie wip#buddie ao3#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 buddie#911 abc#please don't read too much into the fact that pretty much every single one of these are smut#they're just really fucking good okay?
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"How are we gonna get up there?"
It was supposed to be an easy midnight to noon shift, one that you could just sleep through the entirety of it. Maybe a transfer or even maaaybe one emergency so you could have fun and drive lights and sirens. But no, turns out your Lieutenant was on shift AND?? your partner had called out so you got some random solider that happened to have their EMT.
So, that is how you ended up with Johnny MacTavish and Lieutenant Riley on your call. Now, that didn't answer the question as to why you were all staring up at a window that was easily ten feet off the ground. It was supposed to be an easy welfare check, house clinic workers had asked for backup so instead of fire and police they had just asked for military. Counterproductive in your mind..
Well the door was locked, and the only window that was somewhat close was the one you were all looking at.
With a huff of air you take a step back, snow crunching under the weight of you and the bright red med slinger over your shoulder, "I dont know, looks like a bathroom window- it's kinda small."
Johnny shrugs, turning his head back to you, "Couldea jus break down the door."
"No no," You frown, unclipped the bag and let it fall, "We...there's gotta be a way we could get in through the garage-"
"Stitches you're going up," the lieutenant then said, not even bothering to look at you. Maybe because he knew your face would be contorted to one of dismay.
You scoff, "What if they're armed?"
"Does it smell like they're armed?" He retorted and to that you fell silent. And no...it didn't seem like the patient inside had the capacity to be .. well...
It took a few minutes of coaching them both on how to push you up, thankfully the window was cracked so it didn't take long to push yourself through- after a moment of a stinging pain in your leg. And then came the fall, of which was onto the lid of the toilet and then onto the floor.
it took a moment of regaining your composure before you realized Johnny was yelling for you, so you reply with a quip, standing as you stretch your newly sore back. "Three years of schooling to be used as a fucking door opener" You mutter as catch the red med bag as it's shoved through the window.
with a small grumble you go to walk through the home, finding the patient laying in their bed. And against odds... alive.
"Hi, I'm a paramedic, some people were worried about ya." You begin, "here, let me let my friends inside and then we can help ya out."
The patient was staring at you, seeming shocked, "How did you get in?"
You clear your throat, "Not important. But...you might was to get your bathroom window resealed."
-
"Damn," your partner laughs the next shift, looking at the black and blues forming on your side and thigh, "you ate shit huh?"
"Not on purpose."
"Yeah, anyway- how was your shift with Lt and Soap?"
"Who the fuck is soap?"
He blinked, "Sergeant Mactavish?"
You gagged on the fourth energy drink of the day and then laugh, "Oh! Yeah it was fine. Lieutenant really likes Blackpink too."
(Based on real events, at least till the end. :p)
#simon ghost riley#coco's chaos <3#cod x you#cod fluff#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon riley fanfic#simon riley imagine#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#johnny marr#johnny soap mactavish#johnny soap x reader#soap call of duty#soap fluff#john soap mactavish#soap x reader#soap cod#task force 141#soap mactavish#price#soap x ghost#modern warfare
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CRAZY OVER YOU x MIN YOONGI
[HYBRID AU]
PART ONE
Love at first bite
Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger.
Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior, medical experiments, meds.
Genre: Fantasy, hybrids au, smut.
SUMMARYă Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, whoâs about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.
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⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠⊠âŠ
My feet hurt. Iâve been running back and forth around the clinic way past my working hours already.
To be honest I think the assistants work more than the doctors, I should have gone home by now. My shift ended four hours ago. Yet i couldnât go home.
Lately the clinic has been very busy, hybrids were coming in and out of the clinic to get treatment and the fact that so many rescued hybrids from the outside were coming, made the ones we had already been taking care of at the clinic agitated. With their higher level of hearing and smelling it was impossible to completely hide the different cents.
The world we live in is not the same anymore, we exists between hybrids. And I work in a clinic that takes care of them.
The biggest hybrid clinic in our city, is was more then just a clinic for hybrid species. It was a hospital, lab where scientific studies and research took place, and a clinic for treatments.
It was late at night when things seemed to have cooled down. I decided to drink some coffee at the cafeteria on the first floor.
Sitting down in one of the tables I put my hot coffee over it, taking the files of my patients for tomorrow morning in hand reading their appointments and preparing for it.
- yn! - I look up to see Hoseok, one of the assistants that worked on the especial cases.
- hey hobi - i greet him, he sits down in front of me looking more exausted than ever. - oh you look awfulâŠ
- donât even tell me about it - he said - guess who was my patient today?
- no idea⊠- I tell him, taking a sip from my coffee.
- the snake hybrid - he said, I almost gagged in my coffee.
- no way! What is like? - i asked, the most special hybrid in our clinic was the rarest one. The black mamba hybrid.
- an asshole? - he said, I chuckled at him - no seriously, heâs so difficult to treat like he doesnât eat because he doesnât like the food, always complain about the people around him⊠and today, he bit my colleague be cause he didnât like that way he smelled.
- he bit him? - i asked, completely amused.
- yes, heâs in the hospital by now - at his words I looked up at him worried.
- so⊠- before I said anything my phone start to ring. I sight tiredly - gotta go.
He only nodded understanding as I got up from my seat to leave.
- hey⊠- I say as I take the call. I threw the plastic cup of coffee in the trash can as I leave the cafeteria.
- boss is looking for you - he tells me. It was one of my coworkers.
- Iâll go then, thanks.
I turned off the call making my way to the elevators in the hallway. By boss he meant Seokjin, it was a nickname we all agreed on since heâs the director of the clinic. As I walked towards the elevators i kept wondering why he asked for me at this hour, Jin was usually so busy I could bearly talk to him not did I ever seen him having lunch break or any break at all. He always made sure the hybrids were well treated at the clinic and worked really hard for it.
From afar i notice Namjoon standing there in front of the elevator doors waiting for it, he was looking through some papers on his hand too focused to even notice my presence beside him.
- hey - i greet him.
- hey⊠- he reply, not looking my way. He had a hard expression on his features.
Once the door opened in front of us we both get in the elevator, me fallowing right after him. I press the bottom to the third floor.
- what is this? - I ask him intrigued, as he seemed completely focused on the paper to notice his surroundings.
- my new patient - he sighed now looking at me - heâs one of the rare hybrids we have and it looks like heâs going to get put down.
- what? Why? - I was genuinely surprised, rare hybrids were so special in the clinic one of them being put down could only meant one thing - is he sick?
- no - he said getting out of the elevator once the door opened at our desire floor, i fallow him - just an asshole.
- oh? - i was genuinely confused, but didnât push him to tell me - You going to Jinâs office?
- yes - he said, lookin stressed - he called me to discuss this patient, what about you?
- He called for me but, I donât know yet - i reply, we walked the long corridor till were finally standing in front of Seokjins office.
After nocking on the door and receiving a low âcome inâ from Seokjin we both made our way inside his office. Namjoon opened the door for me to get in first then he fallowed me behind, shutting the door. Jin sat on his desk, hands on his face as he covered his eyes in despair looking more tired than ever, a look i never thought I would see on his face.
- Jin you look⊠- he didnât let me finish.
- I know - he sighted, now looking at us both in front of him.
- why did you called us? - Namjoon asked.
- I need your help with this rare hybrid case - He said.
Jin started walking around his desk to sit down.
- my father passed to me the responsibility of taking care of the⊠euthanasia of him.
- but why? - i asked.
- well⊠itâs been years and he never once put it in the effort to live - he said taking a few papers and giving it to me and Namjoon, the hybrid records - heâs not eating anymore, doesnât get any heats, makes no effort on mating and doesnât let anyone help with his shedding .
- Shedding? - i asked, so he means⊠the rare snake hybrid.
- yes. Heâs now in your hands - Jin said, looking at me and Namjoon.
- you want us to do exactly what? - Namjoon asked - from the looks of it, doesnât seem like we can do anything about it.
- you both will be working on this case with me, the big boss - he made a sing pointing up, signaling the higher ups, his father - found a female rare snake hybrid and he wants them to reproduce before euthanizing him.
I felt sick.
- are you kidding me?! - i said, stunted - youâre just going to⊠- I couldnât even say it - after all theses years?
- I know thatâs why i want you guys to work on it, - a long sigh left his lips - i only trust you both with this.
- maybe we can help him out and not put him down? - I tell him.
- believe me y/n - Jin looked at me deep in the eyes - we tried butâŠ. Sometimes is better this way, is hard on him too.
I looked down at the papers in my hands.
Min Yoongi - snake hybrid.
Code: RED. Dangerous species. Specie: Black mamba.
Date of birth: Unknown. Male.
Current status: to be put down. Date: three months from now.
Resume: This patient needs to be prepared for a mating season as he had never had one, to ensure the precision and higher chances of reproduction of the rare hybrid species. The black mamba hybrid is to be taken care of from now to the time of mating, every side effect must be related to the one in charge of the case. To ensure assurance that this case will be dealt with assertiveness.
I felt sick.
âŠ.
I couldnât help but think about it for the rest of the day. The fact that they would just give up on him after all these years of testing and keeping him lock up in here that he simply didnât want to make any effort to live anymore, and how the clinic was just going to put him down not giving a single care about him for real.
They are going to end him right after they get him to reproduce, just to ensure they still have a rare hybrid of his specie. Another one to end just like him.
Looking down at the food in front of me I felt sick in my stomach at that. How could they?
- you look deep in thought - Namjoon said over me, he sat down in front of me after putting his tray of food on the table.
- sorry i just canât stop thinkingâŠ
- about the hybrid? - he said - look I know you and Iâm sure thatâs why Jin chose you to assist me with this case but, letâs just make sure he at least leave in peace okay?
- okay..
No.
I wouldnât be able to live with myself if I did. You donât know me Namjoon, Iâll make sure that hybrid lives.
No matter what it takes.
- weâll meet him later right? - i ask him, he looks at me over his lashes as he holds his phone looking at it.
- yeah, after lunch - he takes off his glasses - are you ready to see the snake hybrid for the first time?
- yeah - I wonder what he looks like, most hybrids have some feature that help identifying what kind of hybrid they are. Does the snake hybrid has scales all over him? - he shouldnât look too scary right?
Namjoon only giggle at my question, a knowing smile growing on his lips and my mind quickly realizing it.
- Kim Namjoon! Youâve meet him already! - i stated.
- of course I did, he had an appointment at six in the morning. - he said, a sight leaving his lips - What an ass.
- why so early? - knowing Namjoon hates waking up too early, he must felt stressed. Especially having to take care of a hybrid that demands so much more care.
- His sleep circle is different⊠- he started - and since we are trying to get him to feel the beginning of a heat so he can mate, his room was changed to acommodate him.
- oh⊠- realization hits me - so it will give the illusion of his heat beginning?
- yes, we also changing the room temperature to make it happen as naturally as possible - he said - the hotter the better.
- no way⊠- i said - Iâll have to work in hell too?
- trust me.. it doesnât need hot temperatures to make it hell. - Namjoon looked at me - heâs good at that on his own.
- is he that bad? - he couldnât be⊠right?
- Iâll let you see it for yourself - was all Namjoon said.
After lunch Namjoon passed me the instructions of our appointment with the snake hybrid, since he wasnât eating he had to take vitamins straight into the blood.
To be honest i felt sad at that. You donât eat when you donât have an appetite, is he that bad in condition to not even eat? Theyâve been neglecting him for so long and now are trying to force him to mate.
More and more i questioned if what i was doing was right.
I walk beside Namjoon towards the elevators, special hybrids stay on the sixth floor so thatâs where weâre headed. They need to be separated from the other hybrids as their instincts are a lot more higher and demand more care, you canât put cat hybrid in the same place you have a wolf hybrid. So we divided the floor for special species, wild hybrids in a floor and domestic hybrids in one. Of course thereâs the special cases divided by codes, the snake hybrid was a code red which meant he was dangerous. Code reds are usually the hardest one to work with because they can and will hurt their doctors and especially other hybrids. Some donât really mind the doctor but, other hybrids. Like a lion who sees a deer. They will always see them as a pray. So we have to keep them separate.
I look in front of me over the silver tray with the meds and vitamins he must take everyday, today Jin wonât be joining us he only will when much more serious procedures are to be taking action.
Namjoon is the one with the code to the hybrid door, each hybrid had their own room to accommodate all their individual needs. The snake room wasnât different.
As soon as the door is open a heat of hot air hits me, the room is a bit dark but the lights get brighter as we enter, Namjoon walks towards the hybrid who lays on a big bed in the center of the room. Almost looking like a nest with all the covers and pillows around it.
I make my way to the table beside the door to prepare the meds and vitamins.
- good afternoon Yoongi - Namjoon says to the hybrid - time for your meds and vitamins.
- i donât need itâŠ. - a deep male voice says, the hairs in the back of my neck shivering at the sound of him - whoâs is that?
He meant me. My heart skipped a beat at getting his attention. He is the first special hybrid Iâve ever meet. One of the most dangerous one too.
- thatâs my assistant - Namjoon tells him, heâs talking about me - everything ready y/n?
- yes Joon⊠- i turn to him taking the silver tray with me.
Stopping in my tracks as I take in the figure of the hybrid. He didnât look like anything i imagined, he didnât have weird snake eyes and not was his skin full of scales like the reptile. He looked almost human⊠if it wasnât for the almost unnoticeable scales on his neck that fallowed up to his ears so delicately, as he moved his head to the side eyes locked over my figure the scales shined a bit. A color of white pearl and soft grey.
He wore something different from what I was used to see on the other hybrids, while the others wore a type of pijama white clothing he whore silk shining bottom up shirt and pants.
Realizing i wasnât moving and just staring rudely at the hybrid I quickly made my way to Namjoon to give him the meds. My checks burning.
- no - the hybrid said looking at Namjoon with a bored expression - i donât like the way you smell⊠i wonât take anything from you.
- you still need to take your vitamins - Namjoon insisted taking one of the syringe from the tray.
- i said I donât need it - the hybrid growls, coming closer.
- your condition tells me otherwise - Namjoon said to him, both looking at each other. The temperature seemed to rise even more as they looked almost like provoking each other. A silent fight.
The hyrbrid eyes found mine staring at his, he looked at me up and down no expression on his face. Than turned to Namjoon.
- she can do it - he said, a bored expression coming back to his features.
- sheâs not in charge of that - Namjoon said, a stern lock on face - Iâm the one who is, so get over it.
I looked at him chocked. He seemed angry. Namjoon who usually is calm and careful with his patients was now the complete opposite, he stood his ground and faced the hybrid as if trying to prove he was the Alfa.
And for the first time I was angry at him, not only this was a delicate case. The hybrid could attack if he felt threatened. That could only worsen the situation for the hybrid.
- I can do it Joon - i tell him quietly turning to him lifting the silver tray for him to take it. I gave him a nod of assurance. He looked at me than the hybrid.
- are you sure about it y/n? - he asked me, worry over his face now.
- of course i can - i assure him - I do it all the time.
His eyes locked with mine as he talked. I heard Namjoon sighed as he turned to me taking the silver tray from my hands.
Giving him a small smile I took the vitamins syringe, the hybrid stood in front of me opening his white shirt one bottom after the other eyes locked with mine to catch my reaction, I tried not give any reactions and keep my gaze eye level but it was impossible when he stood right there exposing his beautiful skin for me.
He wasnât covered in scales as many wouldâve imagine but definitely had a few on his ribs that fallowed down to his v line, just like before they shined a bit over the light a white pearl with silver. I gulped down eyes looking back into his as he stood in front of me reveling his left arm for me to aply the syringe. His eyes never once left mine, he had eyes so dark I couldnât tell if there was any color in them black light the night sky.
I held his arm to insert the syringe into his skin, he didnât move at all. During the whole processe he didnât broke the eye contact. Cleaning the small bit of blood that came after taking the syringe off his skin. Namjoon gave me the next one, i apply it into his skin once again. After the last one, I cleaned and put a small piece of medical tape over it so it doesnât bleed.
- Iâm done⊠- i say, standing next to Namjoon. He gave me the tray and I took it to the table beside the door.
The hybrid began to bottom up his shirt. Namjoon look it up the papers for the hybrid next appointment as I took the small white cup with heâs meds walking back to the hybrid I held the cup up for him to take. He took the cup from my hand brushing his fingers over mine, his hand looking much bigger than mine, I kept my focus on that too nervous to look up into his dark eyes again. I held the water up for him, which he took it again brushing his fingers over mine. He drank it my eyes fallowing up at his neck starring at the scales over his skin. They looked so delicate almost like a painting over his skin, closer you could see that little silver that shined over the light. Not realizing he came closer until I felt his breath hitting over my face, making me look at him immediately. Dark eyes staring into mine with boredom, he tilted his head to the side coming closer inspecting my face.
- youâre not afraid? - he whispered, only for me to hear. My breath got stuck on my throat.
- should I be?⊠- I whispered back, swallowing hard. He looked down at me than back into my eyes, tilting his head to the other side black orbs staring deep into mine i fallow his move tilting my head to the same side. Complete hypnotized by him.
- any changes in your shedding? - Namjoon asked the hybrid, while writing something down on the paper. - it should have started already.
At hi voice I came back to reality, turning quickly with the two cups. Taking them to the table beside the door to despose of them int he trash can.
Making my way back to stand beside Namjoon once I was done, my eyes going back to the hybrid standing in front of us.
He had the same expression as before, unbothered.
- same as always - he answered tiredly, going back to his bed.
I saw the way his plain answer made Namjoon clench his jaw. He wasnât making any effort to cooperate with Namjoon, I notice he was difficult but not an asshole. It was painful to watch them interact, Namjoon clearly didnât like the way the hybrid acted but, I have dealt with a few difficult hybrids before this was only a way to protect themselves after going through so much.
This behavior seemed to be common with Wild species, Iâve seen it before with a lion hybrid I took care of before.
Sometimes you just have to be persistent, and careful.
- I heard it could be painful if not taken care of, is everything alright with it? - i asked this time, which made both males look at me.
The hybrid looked at me not saying anything for a while. Than he smirked and walked towards me making Namjoon stand closer to me protectively. He looked at Namjoon smile slowly falling forming into a bored expression again, showing how the presence of the other male affected him.
- I donât want any of your help with it - he said, eyes locked into mine - last timeâŠ
- you almost killed one of our doctors - Namjoon interrupted the hybrid, one arm closing around me to put me back.
AlmostâŠ
- he shouldnât have touched me - the hybrid said eyes burning over Namjoon, anger on his face.
Hands closing into fists, he walked closer to us standing in front of Namjoon. He was ready to attack if needed, if something is not done it could end very badly Namjoon doesnât notice but with this behavior he is provoking the hybrid to act instinctively.
It is clear that the heat season has started for him and in mating season hybrids tend to get more competitive and sensitive, a male showing up to his space staring dominance wouldnât do any good.
- you both stop - i said releasing myself from Namjoon standing between them both, turning to the hybrid I said - please, Yoongi let me treat you okay?
He didnât like when people crossed his boundaries i get that, sometimes it could be very overwhelming. But knowing what they are going to do to him because of that behavior, i just couldnât help but get in between them. It was something we could work out and maybe if i succeed they wonât put him down anymore.
- it is important that you go through your shedding the easiest way possible - i tell him - so Iâll be in charge of it okay? How is that?
He looked at me for a while, slightly turning his head to the side. Pundering the idea in his head. For some reason he looked me up and down before looking at Namjoon behind me, a small smile making its way to his lips.
- only if is you - was all he said before going back to his bed.
A sight of relief leaving my lips, even though I cloud feel the stare of Namjoon a glare over my back.
âŠ
To say Namjoon didnât like that idea was an understatement. He hate it.
Insisting it was a bad idea to proceed with hybrid treatment by myself, that could be dangerous not only that but the fact that the hybrid had poison on his teeth just like a snake would. It wasnât lethal but enough to cause discomfort, and it was what had happened the last time they tried to help with his shedding.
But that didnât changed my mind. Not after I actually meet him, it seemed to me he didnât want any one close that felt threatening to him. He wasnât just any kind of hybrid, not a dog that loves attention and touch but a snake one. Snakes always acted out when feeling threatened. Attacking was their only defense.
So it made sense to me that he would be reluctant to let anyone get too close, especially after heaving so many tests on him without his consent. Heâs been so mistreated and now they want to put him down.
It angers me.
I decided to chose an hour where i knew Namjoon would be busy in a meeting to do that. No long after we had left the hybrid room he began to lecture me on how dangerous Yoongi could be, that i shouldnât act like that when he was the one in charge of this case. It slipped his mouth that the clinic simply started to give him vitamins when he stopped eating so he wouldnât die.
It came to me how neglected heâs been this whole time. After that i decided to secretly go to the hybrid and feed him, which was where i was headed now.
I made sure no one was around once i stopped in front of the hybrid door. Using the number code I saw Namjoon used before to open the lock on it. It made a sound before opening.
The hot air hitting my face as I entered, they had turned higher this time it was hotter than before. The lights slowly began to light up as I walked in, the door closing behind me automatically.
At that the hybrid came up from his bed looking confused at me. Of course. I shouldnât be there.
- hey - i greet him. He doesnât say anything.
I walk up to him, stoping in front of the nest looking bed. A sing of his heat starting. That was a good sign. He held himself up with his arms looking my up from the bed.
- why are you here? - his voice was low and heavy.
- I just⊠- I trailed off as he fully lifted his body form his laying position, now sitting on his bed. Shirt open and sliding off his shoulders, not showing much but enough to see his scales.
He looked me over his lashes checks a bit red and sweat falling over the side of his face.
- i brought you something⊠- a sight left his lips - are you okay?
- yeah⊠what did you brought me? - his curious dark eyes following my body as I came closer.
- itâs tangerines - i say, showing him the two fruits i held in my hands.
- whatâs a tangerine? - he asked eyeing them closer.
- you donât know? - i gasped. Sitting beside him i slowly began to open one in a half giving it to him, he smelled before looking at me not knowing what to do.
- I never seen one⊠smells nice - he said.
- you eat it - i tell him, taking one and holding in front of his lips. He didnât move at all, only looked at me.
For a moment I thought I had crossed his bounderies, for a moment I thought I was just being stupid. But then it came to me, he hasnât eaten in years. He donât even know what a tangerine is.
Maybe he didnât even felt hunger anymore. Maybe heâll throw the stupid fruit at me.
My checks were getting warmer as I felt nervous but, slowly he smelled the fruit in my hand taking a careful bite of it. Still looking at me, the juicy fruit spilling a bit in my fingers.
I watched him expectedly, wondering if he will like it or hated. He swallowed and looked at the fruit in my hand.
- thatâs good⊠- he said. I sight of relief left my lips.
- you want more? - i asked him, he nodded slowly making me smile.
He didnât move a single finger to eat though, I had to feed him the two tangerines the whole time. It didnât bother me though, I felt so happy seeing him eat something other then taking those vitamins.
It means so much in the process of a hybrids treatment that they are feeding themselves, i couldnât hold my happiness as I watched him.
Once he eat all of them he looked at me then at my hands, dark eyes shining under the light.
- sorry it was all I got - I tell him. - Iâll bring you more if you want.
- you will? - his eyes shining bright as he looked at me. I nodded at him.
- can i ask you⊠why you donât eat? - i said, he doesnât look at me turning to look at the floor.
- I donât⊠feel like it⊠- he simply said.
He looked so sad now. No appetite wasnât good. When in the absence of sickness it could only mean he was very depressed. They wanted to put him down because he was depressed.
I wouldnât let them.
- You donât seem to mind me around you⊠- I comment.
- you smell good. - he said, turning to look at me - and delicious, like tangerines.
I chuckled at his comparison. He watched me attentively, a different light on his dark eyes now.
- okay⊠I try my best to take care of you - i tell him. For a moment he only stares at me.
Red checks and bit of sweat on his chest, he turned his head to the side still raring at me. I fixed my glasses feeling a bit intimidated by his deep stare.
- You⊠- before he could end his sentence the door opened.
Namjoon entered the room looking at us confused, his eyes falling over my presence there. I shouldnât be here. Itâs what I read in his eyes.
- yn? - he asked, confusion clearly on his voice as he walked closer to where I was with the hybrid.
- Oh hey I was just⊠- i tried to make up an excuse but he cut me mid sentence.
- Leaving, right? - he interrupted. I swallowed nervous. He was never hard on me, hearing him be like that wasnât nice.
- Yeah⊠- i murmured, taking the fruit peels with me as I got up from the hybrids bed.
- No⊠- Yoongi held my wrist stopping me, turned to look at him but he stared at Namjoon.
- You have an appointment with me now, it doesnât include y/n so let her go⊠- for some reason Namjoons way of putting what he was doing there made me nervous.
I know he would never hurt a hybrid, but yoongi was very reluctant to any one else being too close to him. Namjoons display of dominance could make him defensive and things might not go well.
- maybe I could help - i tried to sound calm.
- y/n, your here to assist me not take over the procedures - Namjoon tells me, his words sending a sharp sting in my heart.
I couldnât find words to reply his. Too embarrassed by his words to me in front of the hybrid, i bit into my lower lip. Not looking at them.
- Let her go yoongi - Namjoon said walking towards us.
At his words I realized Yoongi was now standing behind me, hand still around my wrist. His slow breathing hitting my shoulder. I lifted my gaze to Namjoon who now seemed a bit worried. But the hybrids closeness to me wants what made me uncomfortable.
- Yoongi⊠- Namjoon warned.
- Joon donât - I tell him holding my hand up for him not to get closer - can you wait a bit?
He looked at me reluctant before nodding, still not taking his eyes off the hybrid. I turned to Yoongi slowly, a small smile on my lips as I stared into his deep dark orbs, to make sure he knew I was fine.
- Are you okay? - he asked me, I looked at him surprised. - he hurt you with his words.
I couldnât hide my surprise at his words, he could tell from just that?
- Itâs okay⊠I donât care about his words - I whispered o him, giving him a small smile.
I tried to take my wrist from his hold but he didnât let go, not to hard to hurt me. I could tell he was being careful not to use his full strength on me.
- Will you came back? - he asked, eyes looked into mine.
- Of course. - i tell him.
With that he let go of my wrist.
I turned to Namjoon taking his arm to leave the hybrid room. He reluctantly fallowed me towards the door of the room. Once we were both outside I kept my hold on his arm taking him with me around the corridor towards the elevators.
- where you taking me? - he asked, as if nothing had happened earlier.
- To Seokjin, we need to have a talk - i tell him, anger boiled over me.
- We? - he pushed his arm out of my grip - Youâre being the irresponsible one not me!
- Iâm!? - I stopped in the middle of the corridor, turning to him anger building up through my body.
- Yes! - he stated, closer to me - Do I need to remind you of your position here?
- Do I need to remind you of your stupid ego standing between the safety of a hybrid and your pride?! - i yell at him.
At that he went quiet.
- were talking with Seokjin now. - i state - I wonât let you make this whole processe more difficult than it has to be just because of your pride.
I held his arm again, taking him with me to the elevators. He didnât say anything else anymore, I could tell he was angry but so was I.
The whole time he was only stating dominance over Yoongi, I was tired of them all thinking that could just hurt the hybrid even more now just because she was going to be put down.
I wouldnât let them.
The walk to Seokjins office was quiet except for the tense energy around us, once I stood in front of his door I donât bother to nock. Entering with anger burning under my skin.
Seokjin gave me a curious look, as he was folding some paper on his desk.
- sorry Jin - i say. He looked at me and Namjoon a questioned look on his face. - we need to talk about Yoongi.
- oh, right - he says - what is it?
- Sheâs being⊠- Namjoon started, but I interrupted him.
- Yoongi has been showing clear signs of discomfort with male doctors - at that Namjoon scoffed, I looked at him angry turning my gaze to Jin as I continued - he say he will do the appointments as long as Iâm the one closer to him.
- I see.. - Jin thinks for a moment before continuing - whatâs the problem?
- Namjoon is not letting me - i tell him, arms crossed over my chest.
-She just went into his room without any one knowing and⊠- Namjoon began.
- And gave him food - i say, looking at him. We both shared a look of hatred before Jin interrupted.
- What? - Jin asked.
- He eat⊠- I tell him.
- He⊠he eat food? - they both looked at me surprise.
- Yes, Iâm sure I can help a lot more with this case if you let me take charge of the procedures that involves more⊠closeness to him, heâs been through a lot and seemed more calm around me.
- I see⊠- Jin pondered the idea first - then as long as youâre not alone for safety reasons, I donât see a problem with you taking charge of his appointments.
- But sheâs.. - Namjoon says, but is cut by Jin.
- Namjoon, y/n has been taking care of hybrids for years she knows what sheâs doing, please I need you both working on this together - Jin says, sounding tired.
Namjoon only nods.
- any updates about him? - jin asked.
- i can tell that his heat i starting - I say - his behavior at least shows me that.
- okay⊠weâll than we are almost there - Jin says - keep that good work and please, do this together.
- thanks jin - i tell him, he gives me a nod and i make my way to leave the office.
Namjoon stayed behind. I didnât payed much mind to it. Quickly making my way out of there walking to the elevators, I had a lot of work to do other than Yoongi case.
More patients that needed treatment just as badly, not the he wasnât just as special to me.
âŠ..
It was late at night again.
I wasnât planning to staying late again but, a hybrid was just checked in after being attacked by a another wild hybrid. The same case has happened before, that is way wild hybrids where never up for adoption. Yet some people always manage to get them, usually never for good reasons.
The poor hybrid this time was a bunny one, I was surprised when I first saw him. Usually bunny hybrids where the smallest species to exist but, this one was big. Not too tall but very muscular and strong.
When he was checked in he was still in defense mode, attacking every one and very scared. They had to apply a sedative on him to finally be able to put him on his room.
You could guess my reaction after I was told the story and short after that, Hoseok told me I was the one in charge of his case.
My shift ended hours ago and yet here I was cleaning cuts on the face of a bunny hybrid who seemed to know nothing about shutting up.
- such a pretty doctor I have.. - he said, a smile on his lips as he looked at me.
- Jungkook stop talking Iâm trying to apply the med on your lip⊠- i tell him for the fifth time already, he only chuckled.
I sight taking a clean cotton with med to clean the cut over his eyebrow, he was sitting over his bed as I stood between his legs to clean his bruises.
He shouldnât be awake. He was sedated before but, no long after he was wide awake and talking none stop, he commented on my but and how lucky he was to be treated by me.
I only sighted. That was knew. Usually my patients where too scared to be treated at first. So I just brushed off his comments.
Jungkook was abandoned when younger by his last owner, he then grow up in an underground fighting club where clandestine fights were held. He told me he was the best one there, a lot of people bet on him at the fights until he got in trouble with this one wolf hybrid.
- how did you end up here again? - I asked him.
- I was⊠- his checks went red and he looked down - to be honest Iâm still.. ah, I was in heatâŠ
- oh.. - I looked at him, still no understanding. He was shy, ears dropping beside his head.
- I was trading to mate but⊠so was the wolf⊠- he said.
- but youâreâŠ
- she wasnât like me⊠- he tells me, realizing what he meant I felt a warm wave up my checks.
Different species trying to mate, that was the first time I heard that, the underground has a lot going on than.
- well⊠it could happen - I say, making sure I cleaned every bruise on his face - here in the clinic we help our hybrids with all their needs, so donât worry.
- oh.. will you treat me than doctor? - he asked, amused.
- yes, youâre my patient - i tell him, taking his file to prescribe him his medication and future exams.
- humm⊠- he only murmured - doctor are you in heat?
His question gets me by surprise and I look at him, mouth opening and closing. Just what was going on now? Did he perhaps hit his head too?
At my expression he chuckled one arm closing around my waist as he pulled me closer to him, I gasped feeling his nose against my neck. Not knowing what to do I held my hand up in the air, too afraid to even touch him. The smallest reaction could start something I wasnât intending to.
- I can smell in you⊠- he says over my ear, my checks burning hot - hum, ready to be filledâŠ
At his words i tried to push him, hands over his chest only to find his eyes staring deep into mine his checks where red and pupils full. It hit me. He was still on his heat.
That explains his behavior the whole time. How could I not notice earlier?
- youâre still in heat - i state. He only chuckled.
- am i? - he came closer to kiss me but i immediately pushed him down the bed - oh, I like that⊠doctor youâre making me fall for youâŠ
I ignore his nonsense as I made my way to grab a sedative, bunnies were the hardest ones to deal with when on their heat, first I would have to put him to sleep before giving him the medicine to lessen his heat. At least till we are done with his treatment. Then we would put him to mate the right way.
Coming back to him I stared at him think where I would apply it, he didnât stop moving. I stood between his legs holding the sedative behind my back.
- Jungkook⊠- i tried to get his attention, he looked at me immediately- I need to do something for me okay?
- yes pretty doctor- he tried to get up but I quickly held his chest down, he smiled at me. He looked as if he were on drugs, high on his heat.
It could only mean things were getting worse, he wasnât on full rut but was getting there. It would be impossible to treat him if heâs on rut.
- donât move okay? - i tell him, his hand held mine over his chest as he nodded.
Without him noticing i insert the syringe into his thigh, heâs so into his heat to even notice the pain.
I count ten seconds in my head before releasing my hold over his chest, he doesnât try to get up.
- oh Iâm sleepy⊠- he says, hand falling from mine as he closes his eyes slowly going into deep sleep.
A sight of relief leaves my lips once he falls asleep. I prepare some medicine to calm his heat, I wasnât a fan of suppressants but in this case is needed. Just until we are done treating him. Than Iâm sure he will be put into mating process so he can have a safe and healthy heat.
After Iâm done giving him his medicine, I write it down his next appointment and a new prescription.
Leaving the room I sight, my right hand massaging my neck. I look over my phone to see the time realizing it was way past eleven. Walking down the corridor to the elevators, my ringtone woke me up from daydreaming about my comfort bed.
- yes - o took the call.
- hey y/n - it was Jin - did you check on the special hybrid?
- wasnât Joon going? - I said, confused at his words. He told me he would.
- no he head an emergency at home and had to leave - Jin explained, I sight.
- oh, i will than - i tell him.
- you seem tired y/n do you want me to go instead? - he offers.
- no is fine⊠- i tell him - he die a know you yet, it could make things difficult.
- okay - Jin says - call me if anything happens.
- I will, thank you.
I turn off the call, getting in the elevator. I push the bottom to the floor of the special hybrids where. My eyes feeling a bit heavier, I tried to push it away. Just one last check up and I can go home.
The elevators doors opened at the floor, the sound waking me up from my tiredness. I quickly made my way through the long corridor with doors to Yoongis room.
Pressing the code on the lock beside the door, it opens making a sound. The hot wave of air hitting my body as usual once i made my way in, the lights slowly turning back on.
Once theyâre on I made my way to his bed, panicked at not seeing him there or any sing of him at all.
- Yoongi? - i call out his name, locking around the room but still no sight of him.
My heart begins to beat faster, as my mind runs different scenarios of what might have happened. Worry filling my body as I throw the papers i gel in my hand on the floor, taking my cellphone to call Jin as I turn to leave the room.
Still with eyes locked on my phone i donât notice the lights slowly turning off, nothing takes my attention from the cellphone until arms close over my wrist turning my around.
My phone falling on the ground as he pushed me against the wall, both hands holding my wrists over the wall above my head.
- Yoongi?! - I stared into his dark orbs, relief filling me up. - I thought something happened to youâŠ
He didnât said anything. A hard look over his features, I couldnât decipher what it meant. He held me tighter coming closer to my face.
- why do you smell like trash? - he spat.
- what? - I was so lost.
I knew I worked late but, is not like didnât look out for myself. Working at the clinic I had to make sure I was always clean. I couldnât understand what he meant.
- you stink of male rut⊠- he spat at me, hissing at the end. Eyebrows furred into an angry expression.
I shouldâve thought about that before coming here stray after treating a hybrid on heat, shit. Knowing how Yoongi was sensitive about others males I shouldâve at least put on some perfume.
- itâs not like that⊠- i tried to lessen his anger but it only seemed to make it worse.
- I donât care⊠- he pushed himself away from me - donât ever come back here smelling like that againâŠ
- I wonât - i tell him, still not moving I watched as he walks back to his bed. - im sorry, I didnât have time to⊠wash this off.
He doesnât say anything, sitting on ver his bed he looks at me from afar.
- tomorrow will start your shedding treatment⊠- i tell him, still not moving from my spot.
At the smell of another male it was better did I kept my distance so it wouldnât be too overwhelming for him who had a much higher sense.
- i just came to check on you, to make sureâŠ
- come here - he interrupted, he voice sounded heavy almost a growl.
I would be lying if a said I wasnât afraid, my phone was lost somewhere in this room and I had no way of calling for help if something happened. Although I knew he wouldnât do something to hurt me i couldnât be sure, the situation was a lot different now.
I could say something but, his instincts would say another complete different than mine.
Still I made my way towards him. Stopping a few steps away from him.
- closer⊠- he sighted. Dark eyes looking me up and down.
I gulped down, making my way closer to him. Stopping in front of him.
He looked up at me boxers getting up from the bed, close enough to kill me if he wanted to.
- was it a patient of yours? - he asked, voice low and raspy. He meant the smell.
- yes⊠- i manage to whisper, I felt so small in front of him. Like a pray.
- youâll see him again? - he asked, taking a step closer. No distance between us. His breath hitting my face.
- yes⊠- i tell him, my eyes finally looking up at his.
He only nodded understanding.
- I donât like this smell on you - i says, making me gulp down as i looking into his eyes. - but i understandâŠ
He pushes me against him it happens so fast, once I notice he is pressing me down on his bed. Both his legs on each side of my hips, he held my arms up against the nest of covers and sheets.
Keeping them up he slides his hands down my arms over my sides, one finger playing with the bottoms of my shirt.
- you look healthy⊠- he murmurs eyeing me up and down.
- whatâŠ
He didnât let me finish. Opening my shirt he went down over my chest, I gasped in surprise. Turning my face to the side, I expected anything except what he did.
I slowly opened my eyes at the feeling of his hot breath over my neck, my own breath got stuck in my throat the moment I felt the wetness of his tongue sliding over my chest up my neck.
- what are you doing? - I asked, my voice was only a whisper.
- taking that disgusting smell off you - he said over my neck.
- ohâŠ
- but youâll see him again⊠- he said, I turned to look at him.
- I have to, his my patient - i explained.
- than this wonât do⊠- he whispered more to himself, one hand holding my chin up he slowly turned my face to the side.
With my neck on full display for him he came closer, this time whispering over my ear.
- have you ever been bitten by a snake?
At his question my mind rushed with realization, my heart beating faster as his lips brushed over my skin. I tried to move my legs but he only used his body weight to held me down, my hands over his shoulders trying to push him away were quickly held up over my head with his left hand.
He chuckled at my useless tryâs to get away from him.
A gasp leaving my lips immediately at the feeling of his sharp teeth carving my skin, tears filling my eyes at the painful sensation of his teeth inserting his venom on me. His hands slowly leaving his hold over me, i couldnât move.
Once he took his teeth out of my skin, I groaned in pain. Feeling the warm liquid fall down my neck, he licked over the bite. Hand holding my chin to look at him.
- donât worry⊠it will feel good soon - I looked up at him, his voice was a whisper in the dark.
My mind felt dizzy, vision getting blurry the heat of the room wasnât helpful. My whole busy was burning, I tried to push him away but as soon as my hands came in touch with the silk over his skin my entire body responded, a wave of electicity coming up from the tips of my fingers to my whole body.
- YoongiâŠ
My eyes began to get heavier and heavier, hands falling beside me as I fell asleep.
Not before I felt his warm finger trace my jaw softly, his voice so far away I couldnât make out what he said before I fall completely asleep.
Am i dying?
Next?
Notes: YES FINALLY!! Hehe Iâm sorry for any grammatical typos! âșïžđ
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#bts fanfiction#bts smut#bts x you#bts yoongi#bts drabble#yoongi smut#yoongi x reader#bts suga#bts smut reactions#bts jungkook#jungkook fanfic#yoongi fanfic#min yoongi x you#min yoongi smut#namjoon fanfic#seokjin fanfic#bts x reader#bts fanfic#Yoongi hybrid au#min yoongi x reader#hybrid#black mamba hybrid#min yoongi x oc#min yoongi fanfic#bts taehyung#bts fic#bts au#jimin x reader#jjk smut
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The tale tell signs of the Batmobile pulling into the Cave reverberated for nearl a minute before it even pulled into the garage. Once parked, the driver side door opened and NightBat (Nightwing as Batman) got out before closing the door.
"B!" Red Robin waved, "Welcome back! How'd it go?"
Not even surprised that Robin had gotten tired of babysitting the Leaguers, NightBat walked to join the group. "As usual. Batwoman could've handled herself."
Everyone on comms ignored the woman's indignant call from where she and Selina had joined Barbra and Jason in the Clocktower.
"Bats!" Green Lantern called, "You left us with Robin, right?"
"Mhmm."
"This isn't Robin! He says he's been here the whole time, but he hasn't because he's not Robin!"
NightBat was trying very hard to keep his amusement to himself. It didn't help that he had people laughing in his ear. He could tell RR and Spoiler were having the same issue. "Red Robin."
Green Lantern threw his hands in the air. "I give up!"
"Seriously, man," Spoiler said, concern lacing her tone, "If you're too paranoid or you aren't feeling too well, we can cut this short."
Wonder Woman glared at the man. "No, thank you, we are fine. You were showing us the med bay?"
"Right this way!" Red Robin guided them to the large room that wouldn't look out of place in a hospital. It was closer to looking like a mix between an ER, a Post OP, a Pre OP, and a waiting room. Somehow, it worked. Somehow, it was better than the one on the Watchtower.
Martian Manhunter took the lead in this room. "This is better equipped than the Watchtower's own medbay," he turned to NightBat, "Why is that?"
"Oh, oh!" Spoiler jumped in place, "I can answer that!" When everyone's attention was on her, she said, "It's because we're all human."
"Excuse me?" Superman quirked an eyebrow.
"Eloquently put, Spoiler," Robin smacked her arm, "Show a bit of decorum, will you? Honestly."
"Again?!" Green Lantern shreaked. He was ignored.
"It's true," she shrugged, "Anyway, I gotta bounce." She turned to jog out of the room, "It was nice meeting you all!" she shouted just as the door closed behind her. After a minute, the sound of her bike revving and fading told them all she had left.
The tour of the large med bay soon ended and Robin led the group back up to the smaller med bay. It was outfitted as a small clinic and not an ER, a few chairs being the only hint at a seating area. It was, like the larger one, also completely enclosed in bullet resistant glass.
Taking seats at the meeting table, none of the visiting Justice Leaguers noticed Signal taking his suit and leaving to finish Batwoman's and Catwoman's patrol, nor did they notice Cass sneaking Spoiler's suit back into its case before she took the stairs up to the Manor. Tim had also managed to put his suit back where it belonged before going back to the Manor with Cass.
Flash was the only one not sitting, having too much anxious energy to be able to sit still. So, he wandered around the upper area, careful not to touch anything. He was, however, looking very closely at everything. Something just felt...off. "Wait a minute," he stopped the small talk at the table, "Where did those books come from?"
"What are you talking about?" Green Arrow asked.
"The books, on the table! They weren't there when we got here!"
Robin made his judgement known from behind his mask. "There have always been books on this table, Flash."
"No, there haven't!"
"I think you should sit down," Superman stood to usher his fellow hero over to the chairs, "You're obviously anxious about something-"
Flash didn't let himself be touched, focusing on every little detail now. "And, the suits!" he ran down to the displays, "Two of the suits that were missing earlier are here now! And a different one is missing!"
Green Lantern and Aquaman jumped over the railing to join the Flash. "He's right," the Atlantian announced.
"What's going on here, Bats?" Green Arrow asked as he, too, jumped the railing.
Robin muttered, "We have stairs," under his breath as he followed the adults in jumping over the railing to the lower level.
"I have so many questions." Green Lantern added on.
Wonder Woman stood at the front of the group, "Why did you change your mind to invite us here?"
NightBat raised an eyebrow under the cowl. "I didn't. The others who operate in Gotham did. I just happen to be in charge."
"And how many people, exactly, operate in Gotham?" Superman asked.
Robin was the one to give a non-answer. "How many do you think?"
"This isn't funny, Bats," Cyborg glared. "What's going on."
NightBat said nothing. Instead, he turn away from the group with a swish of his cape and headed to the locker rooms next to the training area.
Now the only Gotham vigilante there, Robin was the focus of the JL's attention. Wonder Woman knelt in front of him to talk. "Will you tell us what's going on?"
Robin scoffed, crossed his arms, and tilted his head up to look down his nose at her. "Do not be so patronising. We invited you here to prove that we do, in fact, trust you all, and you have accused us of trying to trick you?" He expertly hid his satisfaction at the guilt that took over the adults' faces. "Perhaps we should not have let you come here." He turn with just as much dramatics as both Batman and Nightwing. "Come, I'll-"
"What're you all still doing here?" Batman glared as he came out from the locker rooms, several things in hand.
"I was just showing them to the Zeta Tubes." Robin answered.
"Hn." Batman grunted, walking back to the upper level first. The visiting heroes followed him sullenly. Robin took up the rear. Nightwing chose that moment to ride back into the Cave.
"Where you all going?" He called from the garage as he parked his bike.
"Robin was just showing them out," Batman didn't raise his voice above what it normally was, even as he walked away from everyone and into the less echo-y chamber of the lab.
Nightwing pouted. "Boo," He was quick to join them on the upper level. "Why don't you pack it in for the night, Baby Bat? I'll take these guys home." His wink to the adultier adults was not hidden by his mask. How does he do that?
Robin nodded. "Very well." He promptly turned and left for the locker rooms.
"C'mon," Nightwing ushered, "B's run outta patience. I'm glad he lasted this long, though! It took forever to get him to let me and Robin show you around! And, when Spoiler heard we had company, she just had to come say 'hi'. Though, I'm sad you couldn't meet Agent A or O or Signal."
"Who?" Superman asked.
Nightwing laughed, the sound echoing in the Zeta Room. "Agent A's the one who makes sure we're all still alive at the end of the day. O is our eye in the sky, our ear to the ground, our guy in the chair. She knows everything. Nothing happens in Gotham without her knowing. And Signal is our newest addition. He's the only meta allowed to operate in the city, proven by the bat on his costume. He's our daytime hero, though, so he's out on patrol right now. A shame you couldn't meet him."
"And Batwoman?" Wonder Woman mentioned as she stepped up to the Zeta Tubes.
"Who?" Nightwing joked. The others didn't find it amusing. "Tough crowd," he mumbled. "Batwoman doesn't normally work with us. She's B's cousin. She's usually with the Birds of Prey, but she decided to come help us out for a bit."
"Birds of Prey?" Flash wondered.
"A story for another time, I'm afraid," Nightwing sighed, "The Zeta's are all set for the Watchtower. It was nice having you guys here, even though I had to leave so soon after you get here."
Cyborg patted his shoulder. "It's alright, shit happens. Is everyone at the bank alright?"
Nightwing nodded, "Yeah, no one got hurt."
"That's good."
With the final word said, the eight visiting heroes left Gotham. Nightwing was careful as he left, resetting the traps and security measures.
"And that's a wrap!" Jason called over comms.
Barbra took over just long enough to say, "Movie night at Wayne Manor!" before Selina cut everyone's comms.
Part 6 Part 8
#Batman's Biggest Hater#part 7#they're a family of detectives#using their powers for good#pranks#batfam#justice league#jl#batman is so dramatic#bruce wayne is batman's biggest hater#the batkids are also very dramatic#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#it's their motto#it's working for some reason#superman#martian manhunter#aquaman#the flash#green arrow#green lantern#cyborg#wonder woman#batman#robin#nightwing
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cursed thought that came to mind: yknow how in yandere overhaul fics, they always talk about how he'd prioritise your health over everything? i mean, he's taking blood samples weekly, doing clinical examinations to find any "abnormality", keeping tabs on ur vitals, etc. he probably tests ur hormone levels, maybe even check ur scalp for- anything really- lice, cysts, etc.
ofc, this means he'll be closely monitoring your diet too right? gotta make sure u are getting all the nutrients and stuff. probably starts u on a healthy, high fibre diet too. and that got me thinking....
there's obviously cameras in ur room right? he's watching u 24/7, u know that. what u dont know is... well those are not just normal cameras, they're... infrared cameras.
why does he have these thermal cameras? probably wanted to know if ur body temperature is normal or varying too much. and these cameras detect different zones of heat in the body.
but u know what else emits heat and shows up on the cameras?
farts.
and since overhaul has u on this good healthy diet, probably even makes u exercise, well- ur gut has never been healthier, which means you pass intestinal gases pretty regularly. and the thing is, u dont get to go to the toilet whenever u feel the need to go-no, no. theres a schedule for bathroom and if u abuse it by going in to release ur farts, you'd probably make him worry about u having a UTI or something. its not like he can make u stop. why would he, when it is a perfectly normal human function and he should NOT feel disgusted by it- what do u mean why is he wearing a hazmat suit?
see now, this is his next project. once he's done making those quirk cancelling bullets, then its time for flatulence cancelling bullets.
the things u do for love <3
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i hope this isn't too personal of a question (and if it is that's totally cool, i was literally just curious as a fellow aspec person), but i was wondering what some of your thoughts were about being aspec, like it's totally cool if your thoughts were just the post you reblogged!!! that's honestly still putting into words a bit a similar way i figured out i was aspec, but i know you seem to have really interesting takes on things/conclusions you've realized about things a lot of the time and so i was just curious what thoughts were turning around your head about being aspec
I don't mind talking about it at all!
So for me sex is like this perfunctory, borderline tedious thing. I almost want to call it a chore, but that has negative connotations that don't exactly match up with how I feel about it. It's like something on a to do list, or like running an errand.
Think of it this way: For me, having sex is akin to going to the pharmacy. Actually, it's more like being asked to go for someone else. It's not on my list of things I enjoy doing and there are other things I would rather do, but I don't mind going if someone asks me to. But once in a blue moon I do actually want to go because I want candy or a Juneberry Red Bull or some shit like that and Walgreens happens to be nearby.
Media builds up sex to be this incredible and awesome and amazing thing that everyone wants to have, which is at odds with the widely held societal belief that it's uncouth to discuss sex openly with others. So if media says "yes you should want this" and society says "but you shouldn't talk about it with others because it's an incredibly private act" it makes it kinda difficult when you don't feel the way you're "supposed to." And then when you do talk about how you don't feel that way, people say there's something wrong with you or that you haven't found the right person or that maybe you need to change things up in the bedroom or that you need to go to a doctor because it's gotta be a hormonal imbalance or something. The list really does go on and on.
And so many of my expectations surrounding sex were informed by fanfic where I read, in detail, about how good it was supposed to feel. About all the different ways it could feel good.
I wanted it to be like that for me, for it to be as good as I had read and seen and heard others talk about, so I kept on trying. And sometimes I enjoyed it. Not E rated fanfic enjoyed it, but it was nice. Nice in the same way a cup of tea is nice, but nice nonetheless.
But most of the time it was like, clinical? Like I was acutely aware of what was happening, if that makes sense. I was thinking about the mechanics of it, what was going in where. I was thinking about how it was "supposed to feel" versus how it actually felt. I would wonder how much longer it would take because I was getting bored. Sometimes I would think about how rude it would be if I checked my phone. And probably the most upsetting (retrospectively) thing I would think about was if my act of enjoyment was convincing enough. And I didn't ever want to tell a partner that I wasn't enjoying it because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. Because I thought it was a me problem. That there was something wrong with me. And there being something wrong with me wasn't fair to whoever I was with. I just needed to grin and bear it, so to speak.
At one point I had a bit of a gay panic where I thought wasn't bisexual and actually a lesbian. The panic was over the confusion, not over the potential lesbianism. Lesbians are awesome. But I learned that while sexual intimacy with women was a bit easier, my feelings (or lack thereof) about sex were still the same. And that meant there was something wrong with me in particular.
I know now that my perspective was warped and my thoughts about myself were both unkind and untrue, but that was a lot to try and reconcile as a 19 year old who already thought she was undesirable. Constantly being called a "late bloomer" and not having your first relationship until you're a sophomore in college sure does a number on your self esteem. Which in turn does a number on your perception of yourself.
Then as I got older, I got more queer friends. And I talked to those queer friends. And they talked about sex differently than my straight friends did. More openly and honestly. With less fanfare. And it was during those discussions that I heard about experiences similar to mine. And it helped me realize I wasn't broken. Well, that and google.
And now I stand before you today, an aspec bisexual able to joke about being horny in theory but not in application. It's nice not feeling broken anymore. But I think it's even nicer now knowing that I was never broken in the first place.
Sometimes sex is nice, but most of the time, it's just going to the pharmacy. And both of those things are okay.
#asks#if 20 year old Berklie could see me talking so frankly about my sex life she'd probably implode#but if you never talk about this kinda stuff it makes it awful hard for folks to know they're not the only ones#that they're not alone#and most importantly: that they're not broken like she had always been led to believe
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My boyo. He's so adorable but SOOOO deranged it's not even funny. Like how do you work for human traffickers to make up for your inescapable poverty, use your magic to turn people into puppets to sell, enchant them to participate in a whimsical musical number for no reason but your own personal amusement, tell the terrified victims over loudspeaker how shit you think they are, let yourself be enraged by a bunch of sassy high schoolers and then decide by the end of the day, to quote my dear friend Azul Ashengrotto, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!! How does one go from trafficking children to wanting to found a school for magicless children in the span of 24 hours. How do you manage to escape a probably exploitative work contract AND steal your bosses' property in the span of 24 hours with nothing but 1 madol and a dream? How's he going to fund this school? He apparently has to be worried about getting enough to eat. How do you just go "you're right, no more trafficking children, from now on I'm gonna commit to the good of humanity :)"
His lesson from the whole thing was "actually schools are good!" rather than "wow I feel so bad for all the people I probably sold :/"
There is not a sane bone in his body and no rational thought in his brain. His thoughts probably contain so much cursing that the sentences are unintelligible when you censor them. Everytime he speaks to a person he doesn't like, he internally adds "you mediocre little fuckshit pissbabies" or similar to the end of the statements. He has the most deranged evil laugh ever. Even when he likes you and you tell him a funny joke he goes "hehehahahaaAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAH" like he's about to kill someone. He likes having his little ears scratched. He bites though.
He's like the biggest asshole cat you can mentally picture. He doesn't just push stuff off your shelves, he takes the vases and chucks them at unsuspecting pedestrians. He's mad at you and you ask him for a glass of milk and he takes the milk carton out of the fridge and pours the entire thing all over the floor and kitchen counters without breaking eye contact. There's a collection of knives on his bedroom wall.
He's my special little guy. They want to study him to update the DSM-5. He eats the rich. He needs some money to found his little school so he gotta work in retail, scanning the customers' products at checkout and muttering "fucking bourgeoisie cockroach" under his breath. Shamelessly lists "amusement park manager" and "salesman" in his CV as if he worked at a legitimate business. He once had a mental breakdown at the grocery store after closing hour and downed a bottle of whiskey straight from the shelf and then danced through the snack aisle stabbing his cane into the chips bags out of boredom while singing "you're never fully dressed without a smile". Gidel being mute is the only reason this kid does not curse like an uncensored Rapper version of Ebenezer Scrooge.
He's clinically insane. He's the most wondrous attraction at Playful Land. He hopes the afterlife is a musical. He's Fellow Honest. This is a fake name.
#twst#fellow honest#twst fellow#twisted wonderland fellow honest#twisted wonderland#stage in playful land
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I did all three backstories for Touchstarved (I have 12 hours on this thing and it's only the demo)
Kuras and Vere don't seem to have red options, but Vere does have a secret ending and Kuras... I don't know, holds you for a bit longer?
For Mhin, it really is just picking The Alchemist backstory. You can call them short or whatever and you'll still get it.
For Leander, you have to take the flowers and keep touching him. It's okay if you hold back the first time even.
For Ais, you gotta tell him fuck you and pet the soulless, and after that red option pretty much all yours.
Differences I found between the three backstories:
It is pretty much like how they tell you, Oracle gets premonitions, Hound has experience with people and survival, and Alchemist has knowledge about magic and science, so there's different things you find out with each one.
The Alchemist:
I may be a little bit biased, but think The Alchemist is the most informative (It's also the first one I picked). There's the expected info of noticing that Vere's collar is enchanted, or knowing about how strong Leander really is when it comes to magic, but it's got the added bonus of MC's mentor having been in the Senobium in the past.
Compared to the others, The Alchemist is more familiar with Senobium, albeit through word of mouth. It's interesting how many times the MC says something similar to "I didn't know the Senobium did that." It calls into question whether MC's teacher was lying, or more interestingly (and what I think might be the case), the Senobium has changed a lot recently. It's talked about, even without the Alchemist backstory, that the Senobium used to be somewhere you could go to for help, but now most of the characters you meet do not like the Senobium, so what changed?
The Hound:
The Hound (the least popular option, apparently) was pretty fun. The Hound notices more about Ais, specifically that he's very suited to be a leader, and that the number of scars he has (one) seems suspicious for his temperament (or "how seasoned he acts", as the MC puts it).
One thing that I found very fun was doing Mhin's route as the Hound. They're somewhat able to keep up! They can (or tried to) recognize tells, and noted that Mhin was one of the few people who was able to sneak up on them. They also weren't sure how Vere managed to get their key. They were also prepared to steal to survive.
The Oracle:
While The Hound notices physical things, the Oracle notices... how do you say, otherworldly things. The Seaspring seems to be hiding a lot (of course it is), but the MC notices a heartbeat. A presence. They feel something from Ais. The name Ocudeus means something, they can feel it. They feel like they can see Ais' tattoo move.
Also, the MC feels something from Mhin and Kuras (in his clinic at least), which is interesting!
If I had to decide which love interest was better with which backstory...
Vere: The fact that the Alchemist thought that they could tell what enchantments were on his collar if only they could touch it feels promising! And both their connections (though I mean connection in the loosest term for MC here) to the Senobium makes it feel like you might very well find something.
The Hound might be one of the few who can actually survive this guy if I'm gonna be honest. (I mean you can still get killed by him but. You know.)
Ais: The Oracle's sixth sense makes going to the Seaspring a lot more interesting compared to the others, and the way they can feel something from Ais is very cool.
The Hound can tell his character better than the others, and I wonder how that will come into play later on.
Kuras: The Alchemist knows their way around spell-crafting and alchemy (When I picked this I wondered if they would be able to help Kuras around the clinic, which doesn't happen, but hey it might).
The Oracle seems to also feel something from him.
Mhin: First things first, their red option literally requires you to have the Alchemist backstory. Mhin's precision is noticed by the other MCs sure, but not to that detail.
Watching the Hound observe where they could be was so fun to watch. It feels like this MC will be able to keep up.
The Oracle feels something from Mhin, something inhuman.
Leander: The Alchemist was able to tell that the flash of magic was a barrier spell, and that most magic (or at least the ones they're familiar with) uses an incantation or spell circle. His didn't.
But either way, there will be things to find no matter the backstory you choose, and all of the character's stories are intertwined, so don't let this dissuade you from a specific backstory! There will always be things to find, you just need to look.
Extra: I found it pretty cool how each MC has a different way of knowing what a Groupmind is. Story-wise this makes sense of course, but each of their reactions to it are slightly different, from I heard this from rumours of people in cults (Hound), to I used to be told I could put people in a groupmind (Oracle), to legends suggest it was possible with a strong enough catalyst but it's never been done before (Alchemist).
Also, it's interesting to know what they each think of surroundings (specifically the Amaryllis district). They all have different opinions from I used to be told bizarre things about this place and now I kinda get it (Alchemist), to it's not that different from the place I grew up in (Hound), to it's VERY different from where I grew up in (Oracle).
And if I'm not mistaken, the reason Vere gives for your desperation is different for all of them!
You can find gameplay from me on my Youtube channel, or watch me getting all the red options and secret ending here:
youtube
I didn't read it out loud cause my mic sorta sucks and sometimes it peaks and gets a bit shrill. Also you see how my mouse moves sometimes? It means I'm screaming. I don't think I'd have been able to keep calm enough for this. Also my reading kinda sucks anyway hope you like it lol
#If you guys watch the 3 hour unedited version and find my friend going online please tell me the timestamp#I cannot find it#There are two and I found one of them#It's a fun little easter egg I guess. If you even care#Touchstarved#Touchstarved game#touchstarved spoilers#I had fun doing this#sweetmountainseeds#Oh btw#I may be wrong#Yes I replayed the game four times#But I might be wrong#There might be things you need/don't need to do#I can't really tell anymore#I mean everything here should be right but do correct me if I'm wrong
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not so wise II a.russo x reader
she looks so cuddly there ^ not so wise II a.russo x reader
"do you want us to come in with you?" lotte offered as she pulled into the dental clinic and found a parking spot. "no it should be fine. i know where to go and they said it shouldn't take much more than twenty minutes before i'm admitted." alessia declined, grabbing her bag and unbuckling herself.
the blonde was due to get her wisdom teeth removed today and yourself and lotte as her closest friends had volunteered to drive her there and look after her post surgery. tooney and mary had both volunteered given the wsl had a two week break but alessia assured them they should spend the time with family and loved ones in manchester instead.
"did they tell you roughly how long you'll be under for?" you questioned, rolling down your window as the taller girl hovered by the car, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. "an hour or two maybe? they've got lotte's number and they said they'll call you once i'm in recovery and thats when you come inside." alessia explained as you both nodded.
"once you're all loopy!" you grinned teasingly making the girl roll her eyes. "i still say its something people put on and over act for views, i'm sure i'll be a little out of it but i don't think it'll be half as dramatic as everyone says it is." alessia assured herself as you and lotte only hummed with amused smiles.
"well bye then!" the blonde rolled her eyes again at your obvious disbelief toward her words, though this time more playfully as you both called out good luck and she disappeared inside.
"so...full english?"
~
"got any fives?" you asked, tucking your knees to your chest and peering at lotte over the top of your cards. "how do you win every single time, you're cheating!" the older girl huffed handing over her cards as you grinned.
"you're just terrible at this lots you've always been shit at card games." you chuckled, not willing to reveal you could actually see the poor girls cards in the reflection of the window behind her.
the two of you had gone for breakfast and coffee and had returned to the clinic, now sat in lotte's car trying to pass the time as you waited for her phone to ring.
"harsh. but alright new game, blackjack!" lotte announced, holding out her hands for your cards, though right as she began to shuffle the deck her phone rang. a few words exchanged with the nurses and the two of you had locked the car and headed inside.
"she's in the fourth door on your left girls." the nurse pointed down the hallway after checking you both in, thanking her you headed down there. "is that?" you paused, hearing a familiar voice singing.
"oh my god it is." lotte grinned, the two of you hurrying to the source of the noise, opening the door to find a nurse begging alessia stop moving her mouth, the gauze continually falling out.
"oh look it's my best friends, you came!" alessia gasped with a slur as you and lotte looked on gleefully at her current state of drugged up delusion. "hi lessi, you feeling okay?" you smiled moving to her side and running a hand through her hair.
"i feel....so good." alessia chuckled, grabbing your top and yanking you down closer to her. "we gotta steal some of this stuff it is great." she whispered making you laugh and gently pry her hands off of you as lotte spoke with the nurse.
"okay less you need to stop yelling because the nurse needs to put the gauze back in your mouth to stop the bleeding." lotte explained gently to the taller girl who groaned.
"it feels like im eating marshmallows i don't want it!" she whined, pushing away the nurses hands. "you don't eat it! you just leave it in your mouth." you reminded with a chuckle, alessia finally allowing the nurse to re-insert the gauze.
"this is going to be a long afternoon." lotte mumbled to you with a knowing smile as alessia started to ramble about how she didn't believe they'd taken her teeth out because she could still feel them in her mouth, words hardly understandable with the cotton pads shoved in her cheeks.
"but a funny one." you grinned in response.
~
"-here we gooo! tooney and lessi russo." alessia finished singing for what felt like the one hundredth time as now yours and lottes patience was beginning to slowly thin. "can they put the gauze back in?" lotte sighed dragging her hands down her face.
"they said we can take her home soon." you patted the older girls knee with a smile as alessia commenced the infamous song yet again, taking full advantage of the happy gas she was coming down from.
"oi. get my bag!" alessia stopped and pointed at you. "get your bag?" you hinted with a smile. "please." alessia corrected as you chuckled and passed her the bag. "less i don't think you'll need that it's not very cold out." you laughed as she pulled out a beanie.
"oh god stop it hold on." you shook your head as she tried to yank it on over her hair which was up in a bun. moving to let it out you took the beanie from her and gently tucked it on, patting her head once you were done.
"you're so good to me." the blonde sighed, grabbing your hand and placing a few kisses to the back of your palm as you scrunched up your nose and pushed her head away. "your mouths all bloody." you chuckled, pulling your hand away and wiping it.
"you wiped off my kisses!" alessia gasped before flipping you off. "oh i like doing this." she giggled, turning her middle fingers toward lotte who grinned and took a picture. "oh my god lessi." you hurried to push her hands down as the doctor and nurse entered and the blonde flipped them off too.
"i can assure you i've taken worse." the man chuckled as alessia flipped him off again and you held her hands in yours to stop her. "if you wanted to hold hands you should have just asked babe." alessia grinned, head flopping to the side as you sighed and shook your head.
"the anesthesia should start to wear off in the new few hours so you're both welcome to take her home now. i assume one of you is staying with her overnight to monitor?" he asked as you confirmed that would be you, lotte having dinner plans with tao.
"if she has any abnormally heavy bleeding, or a reaction to anything or the pain worsens beyond a five or six out of ten just give us a call." he gave you a card with the clinic details on it which you stashed in your pocket, quickly grabbing alessia's hand again as her middle finger popped back up.
you thanked him as lotte disappeared with the nurse to sign off on alessia's discharge papers. "do you ever think about if you drop soap on the floor. is the soap dirty or is the floor clean?" alessia pondered as you looked down at her in amusement.
"can't say i have less." you grabbed her bag off her lap, slinging it over your shoulder. "come on, time to head home." you helped her up into a sitting position, encouraging she slowly try to stand. "okay easy!" you grunted as the taller girl stumbled into you.
"you're so tiny. i could just wrap you up and put you in my pocket." alessia sighed, one hand resting on your head as the other slung over your shoulders, your own wrapped around her torso as you helped her walk out of the room.
lotte grabbing her from the other side the walk to the car was much smoother, alessia still rambling away absolutely anything that popped up in her mind, no chance of any sort of filter being active at the moment.
"why am i in the back! i'm the oldest." alessia huffed as you both slid her in and buckled her up. "no you're not you idiot." lotte laughed, slipping into the drivers seat. "yeah i've decided i'm the oldest now. deal with it bruv!" alessia slurred with a shrug.
"oh god her chav era's returning." you teased, alessia scoffing in offence and winding down the window as lotte pulled out of the clinic. "can we get food please? i'm starving!" alessia groaned dramatically.
"you're not allowed to eat for another two hours sorry less." you turned around with an apologetic smile as she groaned louder and sunk down into her seat, frowning like a scolded child. "i'm wasting away here! i'll die of starvation!" alessia moaned kicking the back of your seat as lotte chuckled and you started to film the blonde kicking off.
"they're starving me here send help!" she stuck her head out the window with a yell and gasped as suddenly her beanie went flying off her head, sending you and lotte into hysterics.
"that was my favourite beanie! it's from college." alessia cried out as you wound up her window. "should have kept your head in the car then less, you're not a dog." lotte chuckled as she pulled into alessia's driveway.
the blonde whinging the entire time both you and lotte managed to get her inside and settled on the lounge. "has it been two hours yet?" alessia huffed impatiently as you covered her with a blanket and shook your head causing her to groan.
"here you big sook put this on your jaw where it's sore." lotte returned handing alessia an icepack. "you sure you don't want me to stay?" she checked as you walked with her to the door. "no! you've been looking forward to these plans with tao all week. we'll be fine." you assured, hugging the girl goodbye and closing the door after her.
"what are you doing lessi?" you sighed with a smile as alessia was wrestling with the blanket. "i'm hot. i'm trying to take my pants off!" the blonde huffed in annoyance, words still slightly slurred from the swelling and anesthesia.
"do you want me to get you some shorts and a t-shirt?" you offered, hurrying off to her room and rummaging through her drawers, grabbing what you needed. "here." you threw them to her, laughing as the bundle of clothes hit her in the face.
"who turned the lights out!" she yelled against the material as you rolled your eyes and peeled them off, pulling the blanket off of her and retreating to the kitchen to put your phone on charge as she changed.
"well, all things considered that went quite well." you grinned seeing she had managed to change but had put her shirt on inside out. "what do you want to watch?" you collapsed beside her on the lounge, kicking your feet up onto her coffee table and grabbing the remote.
"something not food related!" alessia moaned in annoyance. "and here i was about to put on the great british bake off!" you teased, encouraging her to put the ice pack back against her mouth. "my arms are tired, you hold it." alessia demanded with a huff tossing it onto your lap.
clicking into she's the man, more so for your own viewing pleasure than hers, you shuffled closer to her and gently pressed the icepack to her cheek.
"can't believe you wiped off my kisses before, those were with love!" alessia glared up at you as you shook your head. "your mouth was all bloody! it was gross." you laughed making her scoff.
"if i kissed you on the lips would you wipe it off?" she challeneged, eyes starting to become a little droopy as the doctor warned she would likely become quite tired the more it wore off.
"why would you kiss me on the lips?" you chuckled with smile. "cause i have a crush on you, sshh." alessia hushed, a finger pressing to your lips as your eyes widened.
"don't tell y/n though." alessia yawned, stretching out as her eyes started to close. you opened your mouth to speak but thought better of it, knowing this would need to be a conversation had tomorrow.
~
"morning." you looked up from your phone as alessia appeared with a yawn, making a beeline right for her coffee machine, holding a mug up as you nodded.
"how do you feel?" you asked, last nights confession still playing on your mind as you locked your phone and rested your chin on your hand. "like i got punched in the mouth? and a bit foggy about most of yesterday afternoon." alessia chuckled with a rasp, morning voice thick as she slumped against the bench.
"all i'll say is you definitely need to retract your statement about people putting it on for views." you smiled causing her to groan and turn back to the coffee machine. "i assume you and lotte have plenty of video evidence." she sighed, moving to lean on the counter across from you, sliding you your coffee and sipping on her own.
"we do. but most of it was harmless," you assured her with a soft smile as her eyebrows furrowed slightly. "most of it?"
"yeah um, there is something you said i sort of want to talk about." you started, putting down your coffee and messing with your fingers as alessia nodded. "you might have kind of...said you have a crush on me?" you winced as the blonde choked on her coffee, spitting it back out and coughing as you hurried to grab her some water.
she croaked out a thank you and took a swig as you sat back down.
"it was just me being drugged up!" she brushed off, clearly embarrassed as her face burnt bright red and she refused to look at you. "less i-" you started as she cut you off, mumbling how she wanted to shower and darting off to the bathroom.
you waited for her to return, settling in on the lounge and flicking on her tv.
around a half an hour later she emerged, silently sitting beside you as neither of you spoke for a few minutes.
"so maybe it wasn't the anesthesia." alessia started, looking down at her hands. "i do kind of have a crush on you, as juvenile as that sounds given the fact we're twenty four." she chuckled awkwardly.
"but i really value our friendship and i don't want to lose that or make you uncomfortable so i'm so sorry if i have."
"you haven't, i promise."
"that was not at all the way i wanted you to find out." alessia sighed burying her face in her hands. "drunk mind sober thoughts hm." you nudged her with a soft smile.
"so are you going to ask me on a date or just sit here feeling sorry for yourself?" you asked nudging her again, alessia's head shooting up, surprise etched into her features. "um. do you want to go and get dinner?" the blonde stumbled over her words as you nodded, finding how flustered she was incredibly cute.
"yeah i do."
#woso x reader#alessia russo x reader#engwnt#woso blurbs#woso fanfics#woso imagine#alessia russo#woso
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