#now i have to try to remember all of the symbolism i spent hours figuring out *explodes*
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pissed rn specifically bc i lost my detailed plan for the near’s bday event pieces i’m doing :/
#this is why we get our electronics checked out before the hard drive fries and we don’t have access to a computer for over a week#and we lose all of our things forever and it wounds us irreparably bc our collections and photos and research is gone forever#why did i have to use a word document whyyyyy i had all of the symbolism and the placement of things and like 2 different ideas#for each prompt so i could make everything cohesive for once :( i should’ve been writing it in notion smh#now i have to try to remember all of the symbolism i spent hours figuring out *explodes*#at least i have a couple sketches done so i know what i was going for for those but ugh. ughhhhh. my plans :’(#in comparison this is not worse than losing months worth of research and some big projects but it still pisses me off :/
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Whoops, you got hit by a bus, and now you're in the world of One Piece. But not everything is quite as you remember it...
General Tags: afab reader, she/her reader pronouns, isekai, monsterfucker reader, vampire!kid, werewolf!killer, wyrm!heat, minotaur!wire, everyone has a human form, smut heavy, unhealthy relationships, dubious consent, serious violence, spoilers for Wano arc, starts pre-timeskip. There will be a lot of more intense kinks, please check AO3 for all current tags.
Chapter 9 - As It Was Written
The Straw Hats finally arrive at Sabaody. Will things go to plan? And how will Kid react?
WC: 6.1k
Masterlist | AO3 | Chapter 1
It took four days for the Straw Hats to turn up, and in the meantime Kid had grown restless, and more than over all the waiting. He was starting to get dangerously close to calling bullshit on your story, and you'd spent the last two nights with Killer, Kid deciding if you were going to run, that Heat would be too soft and more likely let you go. Which was far from true - Heat had become exceptionally attached to you, if you tried to run he was more likely to chain you to his bed and keep you like a pet. Finally, not long before lunch on the fourth day since docking, the long awaited sound of Killer's transponder snail ringing was heard.
Immediately you were taken back to the ship and put back in the brig, your collar and cuffs still on but your leash removed for now. You had a decent idea of how long it would take for the events of the day to unfold, so you waited patiently on the bottom bunk bed, the mattresses still stacked from your original stay, though you were without the comfort of your blankets or pillow. Or your stuffed animal, which obviously lived with Heat. You should have asked for a book or something, it was boring as shit down in the brig, so you entertained yourself by trying to memorise the strings of symbols written in probably blood that lined the walls and floors of the cell. You still weren't sure what their purpose was, did someone on this crew take part in regular demon summoning? House, probably, if you had to guess.
You heard the sudden chaos above you on the main deck as the commanders returned, followed by the lurching of the ship as it quickly left the port just as you thought it would. The Victoria may not have been in immediate range of the marines, but they were still hot on their tail. It was maybe half an hour before things settled enough for Heat to come down to retrieve you, reattaching your leash for good measure. Kid figured if there was ever a time where you were going to attempt to run or attack, it would be when your story was disproven.
“Last chance, you're telling the truth right?” Heat asked nervously. He wasn't ready to give you up if Kid decided to get rid of you, and after the day they'd all had you might not even make it to the auction house if it came out that you'd been faking it. “I can't… I can't protect you if you're lying.”
“You won't have to, Heat,” you assured him, cupping his scarred face as best you could with your still cuffed hands. “You're all gonna see I was telling the truth. I promise. I wouldn't lie to you.”
“Okay,” he said softly, pushing his face into your shoulder and inhaling your sweet scent, before gathering himself with a sigh and bringing you above deck. It seemed like the entire crew was out on the weather deck as you were walked through to the navigation room, passing around the side of the forecastle to the inside of the giant dinosaur skull to enter the nav room from its front door. The other commanders sat inside at the round table, Kid tapping his fingers impatiently against the wooden table top, your sealed letter sitting in front of him, both the now past and your uncertain future held within.
You expected Kid to want you on his lap as usual, but instead Heat attached your leash to a bracket hidden under the table and sat you at the opposite end from Kid, taking his own place on the other end with the other commanders. It felt very much like you were on trial as you sat facing the four large, dangerous men. It was a stark reminder that these men were in fact notorious pirates and would kill you without a second thought. Killer still had a splash of marine blood on his mask, likely kept there to intimidate, but you had to admit it was kinda hot.
“Ready for your judgement, Mouse?” Kid rumbled, a smug smile on his face. He was ready to prove you wrong, greatly in need of an outlet to torture and kill after the day he had and keen to make you that outlet. The others weren't as prepared, they had all taken note of your accurate prediction of where the Straw Hats would dock, as well as the marine presence in the neighbouring dock, and for Killer and Heat especially it had given them hope that you'd be a permanent fixture on the ship. Heat still had a clutch of eggs prepared that he hoped you would accept, and Killer was more than excited at the potential to have someone on board who was happy to indulge his kinks. Kid had a secret hope to keep you here as well, it was nice having a human feeder on board, but he couldn't stand liars, not even your sweet blood would outweigh that. As soon as you were proven a liar he would torture you within an inch of your life, and then he'd drain you dry.
“Ready when you are,” you replied as confidently as you could, though you stirred nervously in your seat. You had an underlying paranoia that your presence alone in this world may have changed things, but given the rushed nature that the ship had left port, and the commanders’ clearly fresh from battle appearance, you held hope that your predictions would still hold true.
Kid grunted indignantly and handed the letter to Killer, who opened it and quickly gave it a skim, his brows raising under his mask, before beginning to read aloud for the others.
“Kid will get into a fight with Scratchmen Apoo in grove twenty-four, and Killer will get into a fight with The Mad Monk Urouge in grove twenty-one, which will be broken up by X Drake,” he exchanged a look with Kid. His face may have been masked but Kid had known him long enough to understand the look.
“So she got one part, big whoop, is that all she wrote?” Kid rolled his eyes.
“There's a lot more here,” Killer continued, a hopeful tint to his voice, “Commanders will head to the human auction house in grove one, where Trafalgar Law and some of the Straw Hat crew will be present. A pirate captain for sale named Lacuba will bite his own tongue off. A green haired mermaid will be presented for sale in a giant fishbowl. The Celestial Dragon, Saint Charlos, will bid five-hundred million berri for her.”
“He wanted to see how long she'd survive in a tank with his piranhas,” you tsk’d, “disgusting man.” The commanders made discontented frowns as they imagined the mermaid they'd seen being eaten alive, before Killer continued.
“Monkey D. Luffy will crash through the ceiling on a large flying fish and punch Saint Charlos,” Killer continued, “Silvers ‘Dark King’ Rayleigh will appear through the stage wall and use conqueror's haki to knock most of the guards out. He will apologise to Kid and Law for using haki on them. Marines will surround the auction house. Kid, Law and Luffy will fight together against them. Warlord Bartholomew Kuma will attack Kid. Marine Admiral Kizaru will also show up, and newspapers will advertise the execution of Portgas D. Ace in nine days at Marineford,” Killer paused, “that's everything she wrote.”
There was a pregnant silence as the commanders all absorbed that every item you'd listed had been an accurate prediction, even things as unbelievable as Luffy punching a Celestial Dragon. It was a heavy revelation for everyone to admit that you were from a whole other universe, and some unknown force had brought you here against your will. It opened up more questions than they were prepared to try to answer. “Well, shit,” Kid finally broke the silence.
“So, I can stay, right?” You asked nervously, everyone waiting anxiously for Kid's verdict.
You spooked as Kid suddenly stood, using his devil fruit to unhook and pull your leash behind him as he cut through the infirmary and dragged you out to the main deck. The rest of the crew was still crowded around, eagerly awaiting Kid's decision, quickly standing to attention as Kid appeared. You'd become quite the topic of curiosity and intrigue on the ship, everyone was invested in whether you would be kept around, and betting pools waited patiently for Kid's answer.
“Where's Dive?” Kid barked. The small green haired girl came skipping forward gleefully, excited to be summoned.
“Yes boss?” She smiled wide, showing off her sharp teeth.
“I've got an important job for you,” he leaned down a little to address her, “go to my workshop and clean it up for me. Work hard and don't come out till you're done, and as a reward I'll let you get anything you want at a candy store next time we make land.”
“Yay! Okay boss!” She squealed excitedly, quickly skipping off and running up the stairs to the stern castle. There was curious silence on the deck as Kid watched her go, waiting until the young girl had disappeared into the stern castle before speaking again.
“Everyone make a circle,” Kid barked, and his order was quickly followed. Kid pulled you by your leash into the centre of the circle, and you suddenly felt very small. You looked to the other commanders for support, but Heat seemed just as confused as you, while Wire wore a knowing grin that made you nervous.
“This here is the new ship whore,” Kid smirked, “she's usually off limits for you losers, but I'm feeling generous today.” Killer took that as his cue to step forward and cut your clothes from your body, running a punisher blade under the fabric and pulling away the ruined scraps, leaving you bare to the entire crew, minus the minor. Kid used his fruit to weld the end of your leash to the metal at the base of the mast, before standing behind you and holding you against him with a hand on your throat. He forced you to keep your eyes on the hungry wolves circling you, making your thighs unconsciously clamp together - whether for friction or self defence, you weren't sure. “Anyone who wants a turn, today is your lucky day. But wrap your cocks you gross fucks, I don't want to catch your fuckin’ warts when I fuck my whore next. Girls, be sure to take advantage of that pretty face.”
Kid let you go and stepped back, forcing his way through the crowd to head up to the forecastle deck where he'd get a nice view, followed by the other commanders, leaving you to the wolves. You stood awkwardly in front of them, their eyes all hungry, mouths practically salivating, as they all looked at your bare body, a few of the men already palming themselves through their clothes. House, who had no interest in any of this, momentarily disappeared into the infirmary, coming back out with several boxes of condoms which she shoved into the arms of the closest crewmate, before disappearing back into the infirmary to deal with some paperwork. The boxes were quickly torn open and distributed, as the first few crewmates came forward - Reck and Quincy.
The two of them circled you like predators, Quincy removing her large crown-like hat and handing it off to someone else. She had always seemed so sweet and aloof, so it surprised you when she was the first to grab you, pinching your face in her hand as she forced her tongue into your mouth, making you whimper and rub your thighs together. Reck grabbed you from behind, pressing his clothed erection against your ass. His hands groped at your soft tits, subtly supporting your stance as he kicked your legs open to give Quincy access. Quincy's hand was quick to find your cunt, running two fingers between your folds and holding them up so everyone could see how wet her fingers were as she rubbed your slick between her pointer finger and thumb. The crew closed in further as they saw how aroused you were, beginning to call out both praises and degradation, calling you a good girl, a pretty little slut, a greedy whore. It made you even wetter, and Quincy was surprisingly rough as she ran a hand through your hair and grasped it hard, pulling downwards and forcing you to your knees.
Heat was watching the whole thing with nervous anxiety. He barely handled letting the other commanders touch you, but watching the whole crew looking at you like a piece of meat, palming themselves through their clothes and whispering to each other all the things they were going to do to you, it made him possessive. He didn't like people touching his things, he didn't like people messing with things from his precious hoard. His hindbrain had registered you as part of his collection the moment you'd jumped on his bed, and he twitched nervously watching Quincy and Reck touch you. “Heat, easy,” Wire whispered, putting a hand on his shoulder to try and ground him. He could feel how tense Heat was, and knew well that he had the most trouble between the commanders when it came to reeling in his more monstrous instincts. Everyone on this crew was his friend, but you should never come between a dragon and his treasure, no matter the type of dragon.
When Quincy forced you to your knees, something cracked in Heat. The little whimper you made registered in his mind as pain, not the arousal that it was, and he was shifted to his wyrm form and flinging himself down to the weather deck before Wire could grab his tail. He coiled around you, pushing Quincy and Reck away, hissing at them and baring his sharp teeth at the crew. Everyone took a few steps back, understanding that Heat had lost control and was genuinely dangerous now. If they didn't think he had claimed you before, it was certain now what you meant to Heat. Quincy pouted and looked up at Kid, waiting for the captain to intervene so she could go back to playing with you.
“Heat, back off,” Kid growled.
“Mine!” Heat shouted back, coiling tighter, almost tight enough to squeeze the air out of you.
“Last warning Heat,” Kid said in a low voice, “you can back off, or you can be punished.”
Killer stood sternly at Kid's side, and Kid whispered something in his ear. The first mate quickly disappeared to the stern castle, while Kid used his devil fruit to summon a length of chain and Wire descended the stairs from the skull deck. He approached Heat as one might approach an angry alligator, arms out, ready to grab him. Heat hissed at his best friend, making it clear how out of control he was, and made no move to release you. Kid's eyes flicked behind you, to where Killer had returned, and gave him a nod.
Like lightning Killer and Wire were grappling at Heat, Killer slipping a muzzle over his face while Wire pulled on the sensitive end of his tail to force him to loosen his grip on you. As soon as he did, making a shocked whine as Wire took advantage of this weakness, Killer grabbed him under his arms and started dragging him backwards, while Wire grabbed you and pulled you away from Heat. As soon as your bodies were separated, Kid wrapped the chain around Heat, sending him backwards to crash against the mast with a loud thunk, chaining him to it, his long tail thrashing wildly until Wire and Killer secured it.
“You should have behaved,” Wire tutted, making sure the muzzle was secure. Heat spat at him through the gaps in the rounded metal cage, and Wire tsk’d as he wiped the spit from his face. That was all Wire needed to shift to the role he was familiar with as Heat's usual dom, and he knew every one of the wyrm's weaknesses. Heat made a stuttered gasp as Wire stuck his fingers in the slit where Heat's cocks were sheathed, toying with his cocks inside the wet folds and making Heat whine. “You're gonna be good now, do I make myself clear?” Wire growled, “you're gonna stay here and you're gonna watch the crew fuck your precious treasure, and you're going to learn how to share properly or I'll make sure you never have her again. Use your words, tell me you understand.”
“Y-yes master,” Heat whimpered as Wire removed his fingers and slapped Heat with the same hand, leaving a wet, red print on his face. “I'll- I'll be a good boy.”
“Good,” Wire hummed, looking back at Quincy and giving her a nod to continue. Wire and Killer returned to the skull deck to observe, as the crew began to close in on you again. Quincy pushed you back down to your knees, a soft folded towel placed under them this time for protection against the hard wooden deck.
You watched hungrily as she stood in front of you and stripped off her bloomers and frilly panties, along with her giant bow and beaded belt, then she hooked a leg over your shoulder, pressing her back to the mast for support, right next to Heat who squirmed and thrashed to try and get to you. You barely had time to register that the carpets did in fact match the drapes before she was pulling your hair hard again, forcing your face against her wet cunt. You immediately got to work eating her out, moaning against her pussy as Reck knelt behind you and spread your knees, reaching underneath you to slip two fingers inside your cunt and begin stretching you out. You were overly aware of the sloppy sounds your pussy was making and the rustling of fabric around you as the crew got into various states of undress and started masturbating as they watched Quincy use your face and Reck finger fuck your greedy hole. A few even began jerking each other off, Hop opting to grind her ass against Noe, while Hip started playing with Emma's pussy, knowing the pink haired girl would be too shy to do anything on her own.
Reck pulled you back a little and you whined as his cock rubbed between your folds and slipped inside you, taking no time before he started pounding hard into you, forcing your face harder against Quincy. She held your hair hard to stabilise you, rolling her hips to ride your tongue. Kid was right - she was loud, entirely unabashed as she moaned and used your mouth. Heat made soft needy whines as he watched, his cocks unsheathing on their own accord as he longed to be the one inside you. Hop took note, she and Hip exchanging mischievous looks before Hip left Emma in Noe's care.
“Two of them!” Hop purred, running her fingers along the underside of Heat's cocks, “aw, look how they twitch! So cute!” Heat hissed as Hip knelt and gave one cock a kitten lick, Hop following suit with the other, the two of them peppering kisses and featherlight licks and touches over his cocks and scales as he fought against the restraints.
“Don't let him cum,” Wire instructed them, “he doesn't deserve to cum.”
Heat made pained whines as the girls continued to tease him, the sounds making you moan against Quincy's cunt. With Reck's hard thrusts pushing you against her, it didn't take long for Quincy to finish, pulling your head back a little by your hair and furiously rubbing her clit in front of you until she screamed and squirted on your face. Her pleasure pulled you to your own peak, clamping around Reck's cock as a creamy ring formed around the base of his condom. Quincy bent down and gave you an affectionate kiss before leaving you, still dripping from her release.
“See Heat?” Wire called from the skull deck, “see how good our Mouse is? See how well behaved she is? Why can't you be like her. Look at your pathetic cocks leaking, you act like you don't wanna watch others fucking her, but you're just a pathetic little cuck aren't you?”
“Pathetic little cuck!” Hop parroted with a laugh, “aww his cocks are so red and needy, I bet if we leave him like this he'll cum anyway!”
“Go on then Heat,” Hip laughed, “prove to us you're not a cuck, I bet you cum without anyone touching you!” The two girls stopped touching him, but Hop continued to whisper nasty things in his ear, holding his horn so he couldn't turn away from her. Hip returned to Emma, who Noe had already made cum once, cooing to her what a good girl she was as Noe held her up on her shaky legs.
Reck flipped you around and pushed you on to your back, your chain rattling against the wooden deck, and he continued his rough treatment of your cunt. You felt suddenly very exposed now that you could see everyone watching and masturbating. Heat was right above you, looking down at you with a desperate and forlorn expression, his cocks bobbing untouched and needy. You watched Hip lead a very nervous Emma to you, encouraging her to take a seat on your face. “There you go, Em,” Hip cooed, as Emma squatted and sank down, nervous that she was going to suffocate you. You encouraged her by pulling her down as best you could with your bound wrists and eagerly reaching your tongue up to swipe through her folds. “Just like that, use the whore's face,” Hip encouraged as Emma finally began to relax, “that feels good, doesn't it?”
Emma made shy little whines above you, and Hip sat on your chest so Emma could use her shoulders for support, kissing Emma to distract her from all the watching eyes. You vaguely registered the grunt and splash of warm fluid against your tummy as Reck pulled off his condom and finished on you, quickly replaced by someone new, who you'd see later was Papas. He was a little smaller than Reck in the equipment department, who must have been a little above average, but he knew how to use it. Reck had got you most of the way to another orgasm, so you quickly unravelled and came on Papa's cock, moaning against Emma's pussy. Everyone cheered for you, the humiliation of cumming in front of the whole crew making you whine. Hip groped at your tits and abused your nipples with harsh pinches, making you buck and writhe under her. Emma's moans were quiet and reserved but slowly got a little louder as she got close, a near constant pleasured whimper from above you, paired with Heat's frustrated whines. Hip focused her attention on Emma, slipping her hands under her shirt to play with her tits gently instead of the mean treatment she'd been giving you, rolling her nipples to give her the last push of stimulation she needed to cum.
“Good girl, Em,” Hip cooed as Emma panted above you, having released a small gush on your tongue. You lapped at her carefully, knowing she would be sensitive but wanting to give her that last little bit of pleasure. “What a good girl, did the whore's face feel nice?” Emma gave a little sleepy nod and Quincy helped her up. You barely had time to catch your breath before Hip was taking her place, having quickly stood and stripped her leggings and shorts. She sat with her back to Papas, giving her a good position to grip your hair and use you roughly the way Quincy had. You could also see her face from this position, and she gave you a shit eating grin that reminded you a little of Wire. Her mouth was dangerously close to Heat's cocks, his hips rolling and chains making metallic strained noises as he tried to get a cock against her, even just to rub his tip against her lips, anything to get stimulation. She laughed meanly at him and blew air on his cocks, making precum bead and roll down the undersides as Heat growled.
Papa's finished with one last grunt, emptying into his condom and cursing that he'd wanted to finish on you like Reck had. Noe pulled him away by the hood of his sweater, eager to take his place, holding your thighs up against your stomach so you were practically folded in half, and spitting on your cunt more out of principle than need. You were nothing short of soaked right now, but being spat on made you shiver, feeling unbearably empty until his cock slid inside you. Noe was an average length but girthy, and you mewled at the new stretch. He was kind enough to give you a few moments to adjust before he started moving, his thick shaft pressing firmly against your g-spot and making your toes curl.
“Such a pretty little human,” Hip cooed down at you, “pretty little mouth, doing such a good job!”
“Pretty little pussy, too,” Noe added, “takes me well for a human, so fucking tight though. Fuck, I'm gonna cum quick after watching you girls ride her face.”
“Cover her in it,” Hip ordered, “I wanna see this pretty little whore get frosted, I'm gonna squirt on this cute little face.”
Hip squatted a little over you, giving you a perfect view of her cunt as she fingered herself, pumping her fingers fast in and out of her pussy and making obscene squelches until she moaned and threw back her head, giving Heat a cruel smile and cumming with a significant gush of fluid over your face. You weren't sure you'd ever seen such a grand amount of squirt, you were truly impressed. Hip gave your dripping face a playful, wet slap and stood, wiping her hand on Heat's face to clean the cum from them. Noe wasn't far behind her, adding to the milky splashes of cum on your stomach with a grunt.
Hop took over next, and you expected her to ride your face as well, but instead she took charge of the situation. She pulled you up by your hair until you were kneeling, and you were quickly surrounded by men and needy erections. Hop moved your head for you, forcing you to bob your mouth on each cock in turn - Bubblegum's, Moai's, Haikei's and UK's - making sure each man got plenty of turns, and that your mouth was going far enough to gag you each time. Heat's cocks were off course left neglected, but Hop made sure he had the best view in the house. The taste of the latex condoms wasn't pleasant but you had bigger fish to fry, every now and then looking up and catching Heat's sad brown eyes as he struggled to get to you. Your hands were utilised by those not currently being sucked off, and Bubblegum opted to push your tits together and thrust his now uncovered cock between them, the head of his cock occasionally bumping against your neck and smearing precum over your chest. Hop got off on others getting off, and cooed praises for how deep you took the men's cocks and how much you were drooling. The saliva ran down your chin and neck and added to Bubblegum's lubrication, smoothing his glide as he fucked your tits.
“Cum on her face!” Kid called from the forecastle deck where the commanders, sans Heat, were still all watching.
“On it, Captain!” UK replied, pulling off his rubber, gripping your hair and furiously fisting himself in front of you. You closed your eyes in anticipation, soon feeling the hot splashes of cum on your face as UK groaned. Kid cheered from the deck and UK forced your mouth open with his thumb, playing with your tongue before letting you return to Hop's control. Heat growled like a rabid animal, trying to bite UK as he moved to leave, making it clear why he'd been muzzled. He hated seeing someone else's mark on your face, smelling their scent coming off you, but at the same time his cocks twitched violently, his stomach pulled tight as he tried not to cum.
You continued alternating between Moai and Haikei with your mouth and hands, and soon Bubblegum was finishing on your chest, making eye contact with Heat with a crooked grin as he doused you with a violent spray of cum over your tits. He was replaced by Oscar, but as your mouth and hands worked the three men, you began to feel a familiar urge in your abdomen. You'd been leashed to the mast for a while now, and you were in great need of a toilet break. It wasn't helped by Hop, who was now kneeling beside you and playing with your pussy, her palm occasionally pressing against your mound, adding pressure to your very full bladder.
“Mm- Ne-nng,” you mumbled around Haikei's cock. He removed himself with a raised brow, careful to let you speak in case you needed to stop.
“What's wrong baby?” He cooed, running this thumb over your bottom lip.
“Need to pee,” you huffed, to which Hop pressed hard against your bladder on purpose, making you whine. “Hooooop”
“What? I'm just helping,” she teased, “go ahead and piss yourself, whore.”
“Noo!” You whined, “just… give me five minutes!”
“Come on now, Mouse,” Kid berated from his spot, “you're the one who wanted this, you said so before we docked at Sabaody! This is your initiation! You're not done till everyone that wants it gets a turn!”
“But-” you whined.
“No excuses, Mouse,” Kid growled, “prove you belong here. Either hold it in or let it go, there's no shame here, just fuckin’ piss.”
You did your best to hold it, managing another ten minutes of dick sucking and Hop pushing on your bladder before you couldn't do it any longer. You tried your best to squeeze your thighs together, but Hop wouldn't let you. She was purposefully doing everything she could to fuck with you, and you couldn't see her mouth behind her mask that covered the lower half of her face, but you could tell by the glint in her eye that she had a smug grin. Everyone waited eagerly for the flood gates to open, and when the first trickle of piss ran down your thighs everyone cheered. You whined and squirmed as the towel underneath you got damp with piss as the hot liquid ran down your legs, and Hop cooed praises in your ear, rubbing your clit until you came on her hand. It felt strange to cum while you were still peeing a little, it was different, but not bad. You made the mistake of looking up at Heat, whose eyes were wide, focused on the space between your legs at the trail of hot piss coming from your cunt. His eyes flicked back up to meet yours, and with a stuttered groan and furrowed brows his cocks twitched and he came, cum dripping on the deck in front of you as he swore under his breath.
“Good little piss slut,” Hop cooed, rubbing your oversensitive clit and making you wriggle, the last of your stream going directly into her palm and flooding over, “look at you go, look at you pissing yourself like a good little whore. Not like this pig over here. Cumming like the disgusting cuck he is, tsk. Look at that, he almost got me with his gross cum.”
You were too fucked up to reply with more than a tired mumble, and it was clear to everyone that you were run through, leaning forward to rest your head against Heat's tail as his spent cocks withdrew back into his sheath. He whined, wishing he could give you comfort but unable to reach you with his bound arms. He looked up at Wire in a wordless plea, hoping he'd noticed your exhaustion. Wire of course did, giving Heat an understanding nod, and stepped forward to speak to Kid. “She's done,” he told the captain, “she needs to rest.”
Kid grumbled, not liking being ordered around, but Wire was the most experienced on the crew with things of a spicy nature, and everyone trusted his opinion when it came to sex and kink. If Wire said you were done, then you were done, there was no arguing with him on matters of safety and limits.
“Alright losers, I'm bored,” Kid barked his excuse to the crew. He didn't want them to think you were weak, when really you'd taken a great deal more than most could. “Finish up and give me my whore back.” Kid turned to Wire as he prepared to head off, “clean her up, you can use my tub. Make sure she's all good, she's one of us now. Leave Heat on the mast until nightfall, he still has a lesson to learn.”
Those who were left took their opportunity to finish on your face or tits, and you were left a cum and piss covered mess, only kept upright by Hop. It was strangely familiar after that, each crewmate taking their turn to welcome you to the crew and offer kind words, like you weren't dripping with semen and half asleep, kneeling on a towel soaked with your own urine. The commanders finally descended from the deck, and Wire helped you to your feet, using his cloak to wipe some of the more annoyingly placed cum from around your eyes, then he scooped you into his arms bridal style, far more gentle than he had been the other day.
He carried you up to Kid's floor, Killer running ahead and filling the large corner tub while Wire used a warm, wet cloth to wipe most of the gunk from you before lowering you into the water. Kid's bathroom was large and lavish, almost at large as Killer's bedroom, with a walk in waterfall shower that could probably fit all the commanders at once, and a black marble counter with two inlaid sinks, a mirror running it's length that reached the ceiling. The whole room was tiled with black marble and accented with gold metal embellishments, furnished with deep red towels and floor mats, and several expensive looking paintings of nude women hung on the walls. Killer and Wire both stripped off and sat with you in the water, touching you softly, almost lovingly, washing you with delicate motions and massaging your scalp as they washed your hair. You were barely conscious as the two of them cleaned you up, and the gentle way they held you was making it easy to doze off.
“Did I do good?” You mumbled.
“You did very good,” Wire praised, “just rest now, sweetheart.”
“Is Kid gonna let me stay?”
“He said you're one of us,” Killer answered, “Don't worry about anything for now, just rest. Being part of this crew means nobody here will ever hurt you, you're safe now.”
“Mmm,” you mumbled back, nuzzling into Wire's chest and holding Killer's warm hand.
The two of them finished bathing you as you slipped into unconsciousness, before carrying you back downstairs, carefully dressing you in an old, loose shirt of Heat's, and tucking you into his bed, even though it was only mid afternoon. It would be a small victory for Heat to find you there later, a kindness from Killer and Wire who could have just as easily left you in one of their own beds. You were so exhausted you slept right through dinner, not even waking when Heat finally climbed into bed and curled around you, though nobody was surprised.
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finnick odair and reader going dress shopping hcs 🤗🤗
i think these are not exactly headcanons but i've already written half of it when i realized it 😭 tried to stylize them a little bit like headcanons, i hope you like them :)
finnick odair and reader going dress shopping
every time you have a mall date, finnick arrives at your place punctually at the time you agreed on. he always dresses nicely for your dates, today he’s stunning in some jeans, a pretty shirt, and a big, excited smile on his face, waiting for you on your porch with a bouquet of flowers on his hands.
finnick always sends a message with the flowers he chooses for you. a bouquet of purple, white, and pink irises is in his hands this time. today’s bouquet symbolizes respect, purity, love, and deep bonding - representing a love as pure and passionate as yours.
the plan is to eat your favorite food in the food court and then walk around the mall, looking at the shops and sharing an ice cream cone. as you sit and enjoy your meal, you talk about everything, from your coworkers at your new job to his latest findings in the market and your family drama. it isn't until you’ve talked for hours and started craving dessert that you finally stand up and stroll through the mall, enjoying a strawberry ice cream.
walking around, you grab finnick’s arm, and distracted by your thoughts, remember the reason you insisted so much on coming to the mall. “finn, honey, i've been wanting some new dresses for a while. can we go look at them and see if i like any?” you ask him softly, and he’s nodding enthusiastically even before you finish your question.
finnick loves the way you look every day, never missing a chance to shower you with compliments and tell you how mesmerized he is by you. but his heart beats especially hard whenever he sees you wearing your pretty dresses, unable to contain himself from grabbing your hand and twirling you around. they accentuate your figure and you look so happy and graceful in them, as if you were born to wear sundresses. he can't help but love them on you.
finnick is a patient man, never rushing you as you try on all the dresses that catch your eye. his feet may ache from visiting many stores, waiting for you and standing for long periods of time, but he never complains or makes passive-aggressive remarks. he truly enjoys just being part of your world and being your hype man, always ready to give you words of praise for every article of clothing you model for him.
finnick doesn’t get bored either. while you change outfits, he sits on a nearby chair as he finishes his melting strawberry ice cream. his eyes light up each time you step outside the dressing room and model the dresses for him, posing and twirling around for him as he tells you how pretty and stunning you look, and the look on his eyes is full of love and adoration, wondering what actions he did in his past lives to deserve having you now in his arms.
his favorite type of dresses on you are the spaghetti-strap sundresses with floral prints, he thinks that they make you look like a pretty fairy. they showcase your shoulders, the soft material clinging to your skin only in certain areas and giving you an elegant silhouette, and the vibrant colors of the sundress complement the big joyous smile you usually wear. he feels captivated by the way you look effortlessly graceful in them.
when you're done, finnick insists on carrying all your bags for you. one hand carrying your shopping bags, and you hanging onto his other arm. he feels happy. these afternoons spent with you, sharing simple and happy moments, are his favorites.
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sneak peak: part III chapter 2
The hatch above sliced the weak light like a cutting wire, casting a grid on the damp stone walls below. Connell watched through half-closed eyes as two water droplets slid down the wall toward a patch of light. He wasn’t betting on any droplet in particular; simply observing their progress.
Doran spoke, his voice raspy from dehydration. They weren’t quite thirsty enough to start licking the walls, but it was only a matter of time.
“Hey, Con,” he rasped. “What time d’you think it is?”
The first dozen times Doran had asked this question, Connell had tried to make out the hour by the subtle variation in the darkness. The next dozen times, he’d responded with sarcasm. Now he didn’t even bother to reply.
“I’d wager it’s lunchtime,” said Doran. “Hey, Con. What’ll you wager it’s lunchtime?”
“Doran, we’re in a pit. What do you expect me to wager, rat bones?”
There was a pause.
“I don’t think all of these bones belonged to rats,” said Doran.
Connell had been trying not to look too closely at the pitiful heap of bones against the far wall. Now it loomed hugely in the corner of his eye, a portent of a future he didn’t want to contemplate. He turned back to the water droplets, but they had already been absorbed into the stone.
“Hey, Con.”
When Connell didn’t reply, Doran kept repeating his name until he snapped.
“What?”
“D’you think Toby and Luca made it to Fleetside?”
There was a long silence. This time Doran didn’t try to break it.
The top of the pit opened with a scream of metal. Piercing sunlight streamed down. Connell and Doran scrambled to their feet, squinting up through watering eyes. Connell could just make out dark figures high above. He had the image of hunters looking into a trapping pit to see what they’d caught for dinner.
There was a muffled discussion, too far up for Connell's straining ears to hear. Then something was thrown down. A rope ladder. It unrolled as it fell before jerked to a stop a few feet above the damp ground.
“They can’t seriously expect us to climb up,” said Connell.
Doran was already testing the ladder’s bottom rung to see if it would hold his weight. He cast Connell a scornful look.
“What else are we going to do? Stay here and starve?”
He had a point. Still…
“What if they cut our heads off once we get to the top?”
“It’ll be a better death than that poor bugger got,” said Doran, nodding to the heap of bones.
That was all the convincing Connell needed. If he was going to die, he wanted to die on his feet, under the sky, with the gods as his witnesses. Not here in a hole like a rat.
Doran was already scaling the ladder. Connell took a steadying breath and pulled himself up after.
They emerged several long minutes later, sweating, panting, dizzy with hunger and vertigo. After so long spent in the dark of the pit, even the pale gray sun was blinding. Connell wiped his streaming eyes on his sleeve. The figures swam into focus—not Dogs of Guye but a dozen armed men who wore no uniform. Still, Connell could tell they were soldiers. It wasn’t just their weapons, but their air of casual menace and the readiness with which they held themselves.
Gods above and below, Connell was sick of soldiers. Nearly as sick as he was of waiting to die. He almost hoped this lot would just kill them and have done with it.
“You’re the freedmen they call Connell and Doran?”
The question was asked by a wiry, weathered, quick-eyed man in a dark orange greatcoat. He had no symbols of office on his breast, but it was clear from the way his fellows regarded him that he was the leader here.
Connell and Doran shared a speaking look. They had no friends in this place. Anyone who was looking for them by name meant them harm.
Their fear must’ve shown on their faces. The soldier held up his hands.
“We’re no enemies of yours, lads. Got you out of that pit, didn’t we? I’m to bring you to Robert Black. Orders from the man himself.”
“Why?” asked Doran, only remembering to add “Sir” when Connell elbowed him.
“Something to do with his boy,” said the soldier, shrugging. “Anyway, you ought to be thanking your lucky stars Black spared a thought for you, busy as he is. The Dogs meant to leave you down there. They were taking bets on how long you'd last.”
Connell and Doran shared another speaking look. This time it was horror that echoed between them like the sound of a scream too deep in the earth for any living soul to hear.
“How long were we down there, sir?” Doran asked.
“Two days,” the man replied. “And no wonder you’re jumpy as cats, you must be bloody starving.” He took some bread from the inside pocket of his greatcoat and tossed it to them. “Thought so,” he said, as they fell on their portions like wolves. “I’m Tyburn, by the way.”
The name was vaguely familiar. From Doran’s reaction, he knew it.
As they followed the man—away from the pit, thank all the gods; Connell would be glad to have no more dealings with pits for as long as he lived—Doran leaned in and hissed, “Willy Tyburn, Con! He’s the Terror of King’s Road! His gang held up Lord Ambrose’s carriage, remember? The Duke wouldn’t leave the grounds for months without an armed guard.”
As usual, Doran had spoken louder than he intended. Tyburn cast an amused look over his shoulder.
“Belonged to the Duke of Chesten, did you?”
Connell and Doran exchanged guilty looks.
“Yes, sir,” said Connell. He turned his forearm to show the Duke’s mark branded there. He was so blanched from the cold that four-ringed annulet stood out like a blood-blister.
“We aren’t runaways, sir,” said Doran quickly. “The Dogs freed us.”
“I’m in the business of taking collars off slaves, lad, not putting ’em back on,” said Tyburn. “Whether in the Dogs’ camp or ours, you’re free men.”
Doran didn’t try to hide his relief. Seeing it, Connell had to tamp down a searing flash of anger. After everything Doran had put them through—after what had been done to them, to Toby, to Luca—even now, after all of it, the only thing he cared about was his precious fucking freedom.
Toby and Luca. Could they have run into Robert Black on the way to Fleetside? Luca had been a spy, after all, however difficult it was for Connell to get his head around; he and Black were on the same side. And they’d known each other in Lyonesse, hadn’t they? That brute Arkwright had said as much. Black had been one of Luca’s clients when he was still posing as a lord. But maybe that, too, had been a ruse, a cover for their meetings. Maybe Black and Luca were better acquainted than anyone knew.
The same thoughts were going through Doran’s head. In a voice too low for Tyburn to hear, he whispered, “Something to do with his boy. You don’t think…?”
Connell didn’t know what to think. But he hoped. He hoped more fiercely than he’d let himself hope for anything in a very long time.
They passed through the vast gates and emerged onto the moor. When Connell was here last, it had been an expanse of damp mist drifting over earth so barren even the snow seemed to wither as it fell. Overnight, a city had sprung up. It was a city of tents, thousands on thousands, vanishing into the far distance. Within those tents and bustling between them were twice, no, three times as many men—soldiers, Connell supposed, though few wore anything like a uniform, and some of those uniforms were in Ademar’s colors. At least half looked more like Midland peasants than battle-hardened rebels.
“Con, look!”
Connell followed Doran’s pointing finger to a group of men distinct not only for their richly-colored skin but their military bearing. These must be the Enkaaran mercenaries he’d heard about. They were certainly easier to imagine in battle than the peasants. Still, in their pale uniforms against the backdrop of gray tents and grayer sky, they looked lost, even a little forlorn, like a flock of birds blown off-course in a storm.
“Poor buggers came all the way to Castle Guye just to camp on the bloody doorstep,” said Tyburn, shaking his head. “That’s Northern hospitality for you.”
He brought Connell and Doran to a tent that would have been indistinguishable from any of the others except for its size and the sense that, somehow, the rest of the camp had been built around it. A line of people queued outside, all with that air of self-possession particular to freeborn men. They reacted with varying degrees of indignation as Tyburn pushed Connell and Doran past them and into the tent.
Judging from the bustle of activity within, they’d just entered the center of operations. These soldiers were clearly among the more seasoned. Connell even spotted a few faces he recognized from Redditch. Others were familiar from the wanted posters he’d seen in Lyonesse and along the King’s Road.
And at the center of it all was Robert Black.
He would’ve stood out even if he hadn’t been half a head taller than everyone but the barbarian who loomed at his right side. There was the red hair, of course, unnervingly similar to the color of dried blood, and the eyes that stared out of deep hollows, as hard and bright and calculating as a carrion bird’s. Connell had seen drawings of Black’s face on wanted posters—bad drawings, he’d thought at the time, but seeing their subject now, there was some truth to the depictions. He might not have the cartoonish menace of the posters, but Robert Black was the most dangerous-looking man Connell had ever seen.
Robert looked up and saw them. It was like being pinned under a glacier.
“That will be all,” he said.
He didn’t even need to raise his voice. In a moment the tent was empty. Even Tyburn melted away. The only one who stayed was the barbarian. Black’s bodyguard, Connell assumed. His was not a comforting presence.
Robert Black came around the desk and leaned against it. There was a silence; Connell measured its length in heartbeats. When at last Robert spoke, his voice was chillingly devoid of feeling.
“So you’re the so-called friends who abducted Luca.”
#the golden bird#pierrot writes#original slash#whump#slavefic#wip#tgb#sneak peak#guys this chapter is taking forever i'm sorry#in my defense there's a whole election happening and it's taking up like#90% of my waking life rn#thank you for your patience <3
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Reconnection. Keefe Sencen x Reader!
(This has been in my drafts for like almost a year n im too lazy to finish it, so take what i have to give fellow keefe simps <3)
Everyone stood huddled around the table, all staring begrudgingly at an unrolled scroll. Complete silence as they all attempted to read whatever the stupid thing said. The scroll had been one of many that Tam and Sophie had stolen from the warehouse before they burned it. Neither Grady or Edline had been able to decipher what it said and gave it back to Sophie. Thinking perhaps one of her friends would decode it. So far no one has been able to understand anything besides a few symbols here and there. Keefe grew tireless of the silence and was the first to break the noiseless atmosphere, “I think we’ve spent enough time looking at these Flareadon scratches on paper Foster.” Keefe said, “maybe we should take a break.”
“No, I think I’m finally understanding some of this,” Sophie said while leaning closer into the scroll, she and the rest of the group had been staring at it since everyone had gotten to Heaven Field, “I just need a few more minutes.”
“Sophie, we've been here for 10 minutes already,” Dex informed her, “I’m pretty sure I saw Fitz go cross-eyed twice.”
“Maybe my eyes have gone crossed but you gave up after the first 5 minutes,” Fitz countered.
Tensions between everyone in the group had begun after Fitz and Sophie broke up. It got significantly worse after Keefe had run from the lost cities and Sophie burned down the Neverseen’s warehouse. But now Keefe was back and they were trying to focus on the more important things. Like staring at paper.
“Yeah, because we clearly haven't gotten anywhere,” Dex stated while moving away from the scroll and towards Fitz, “We all saw you looking at Sophie and then turning away to feel sorry for yourself.”
“Proving my point aren’t you?” Fitz spat, “ Why were you wasting time staring at me instead of-”
“OKAY OKAY THATS ENOUGH,” Sophie shouted. A headache had formed after having to stare at lines and marks on a scroll for what was almost 2 hours. She was already sitting at the table sifting through a huge pile of scrolls with Grady and Edaline before Wyile and Linh showed up to help.
They had told the rest to meet at Haven Field to help after Wylie realized they were not getting anywhere with only 3 tired teens. Sophie sighed, “Dex is right, we really aren’t getting anywhere just sitting here and starting screaming matches. Let’s all just take a break and clear our minds.”
“Perfect! I'm gonna go outside and play with Glitter Butt,” Keefe said while making his way towards the door, “if you need me send a message!”
“No, you are not!” Ro grinned while picking Keefe up, “after that stunt you pulled, I will be SEVERELY restricting your freedom pretty boy.”
“Awh please?” Keefe pleaded to Ro, “It’s not like Glitter Butt will listen to me if I ask her to teleport away with me.”
“Nope! You're staying right here with me.”
“Fine..”
Keefe slumped down on his seat and pouted. Sophie was actually somewhat relieved that Ro hadn’t let him go. A huge part of her was terrified that he’d just up and leave again.
Everyone had returned to being silent. Sophie wished that they could all go back to how close they used to be. Back when everything was simpler, and her only worry was having to dance in a stupid school show.
But she couldn’t waste her time reminiscing on stuff like that. There were more urgent things at hand, like figuring out what that stupid scroll meant. She was really hoping she was right about it meaning something important. If she was wrong, they would’ve already wasted 3+ hours on a dead end.
“Biana,” Fitz started, breaking the silence “do you remember Y/n? The girl we hung out with a lot when we were younger?”
“Oh yeah!” Biana beamed, “the one with the gorgeous hair right?”
“Uh sure, do you think she’d understand what some of the scroll says?”
Sophie raised an eyebrow. There was no way anyone would be able to make sense of that scroll. Just as Keefe had pointed out, it looked exactly like Flareadon scratches. Sophie was sure she could recreate it if she took a blade and went rouge on a piece of paper. Biana placed a finger on her bottom lip. “Mmm, maybe. She did have that phase where she was obsessed with those hieroglyphics from the Forbidden Cities."
"Ohh yeah Y/n!" Keefe chimed, "I remember her. She forced all of us to learn those stupid symbols that summer, I hated it."
Biana sent a glare towards Keefe, "Are you serious?" She scoffed, "you were totally in love with her during the entirety of our childhood! Right Fitz?"
“Right, you did absolutely anything to spend time with her” Fitz agreed, “including, learning ancient hieroglyphics. You’d stare at her for hours while she read and drew them in her notebook.”
“Woahh! Whats this? An unrequited love?” Ro teased, “perhaps we should write a ballad about it, call it ‘The balled of Y/n and Keefe’ yeah?”
Keefe scowled at his bodyguard, "shut up” he said while rolling his eyes.
“Anyway, as I was saying” Biana continued, turning to face Sophie. “She had this phase with ciphers and hieroglyphics one summer and she got really good at reading them, she could definitely lend us a hand with…well all of these.” Biana said motioning towards the huge pile of scrolls sprawled out on the table.
"But the problem is," Fitz sighed while running a hand through his hair, “We haven't spoken with her in almost 5 years,” he explained, “and don't you think it'd be a bit rude to suddenly show up to her home asking for help to read some very suspicious scrolls?”
“True,” Dex agreed, “I’d be pretty freaked out if a group of people showed up in my house after not talking to me for like 5 years just to go ‘Hey! Wanna help me understand what all these lines and squiggles mean! You know, just for old times' sake? Also, I can't at all explain to you why we need to know what these scrolls say or where they came from. Sorry!”
The group of teens all unanimously heaved out a sigh, another possible solution slipping away.
“Alright...well what if we send just one of you three over?” Sophie suggested, “She’s more likely to help one of you rather than a 7 of us strangers right?”
“Oh perfect! I’ll light leap home to get changed and then come back to pick up the scrolls, it shouldnt take more than 15 minutes.” Biana said while standing up.
“Don't you think we should send Keefe?” Ro asked, “that way if she says no, he and her can just have a smooch fest to make up for the lost time?” Ro said while wrapping her arms around herself and making kissing sounds at Keefe. Him shoving her face away from his with a firm push.
“No way, Y/n is too mature to deal with either Keefe or Biana's childish behavior. In all honesty, I'm our best bet at getting her to help us.” Fitz said confidently, trying to hide his smug look.
Biana gasped, "What?! Me and Y/n were like best friends, she's more likely to trust me than either of you shady boys. Also-"
"Key word," Fitz interrupted, "were like best friends."
#Keefe Sence x Reader#Keefe Sencen#Keefe sencen#Keefe x reader#keefe x reader#x reader#x y/n#keefe sencen x you#keefe sencen x y/n#Keefe Sencen x y/n#KOTLC#keeper of the lost cities#wip#kotlc keefe#keefesimp
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trying my best to make out what the storybook fourteen is reading says so that you don't have to
last night after the subscriber special came out i spent an hour and a half trying to read and type out the contents of this book!!! i got most of it but there's still parts i couldn't read due to lighting esp towards the end so if anyone has been able to read those parts please let me know!!!!!!
A NEW SYMBOL
At the beginning of this story are two symbols: Addition and subtraction. For the longest time, that's the only thing numbers knew. I'm not exactly sure how the numeral species took so long to discover anything outside of those two symbols. Maybe they were content with what they had already— Maybe they were just stupid.
Anyway, back to the story at hand. Actually, no. We need to go a bit deeper here, I think. First graders learn about multiplication and division. How were they just unable to figure this out? It's really not that hard. I'm just being honest, here. Why should anyone be interested in this "tale" when it's predicated on such an unbelievable premise? An entire population of sentient, powerful beings and not a single one of them could come up with an array? They're literally numbers, for crying out loud! I just feel like they could've figured this out earlier, I guess.
Whatever, quick recap, the numbers only knew about addition and subtraction for a long while. They had a lot of fun adding into each other and all that. They really liked it.
Multiplication, which is really just doing addition multiple times in a row, (Think about it, four multiplied by three is just adding four together three times. Isn't that cool), was discovered shortly after. There were some problems with it, and there still are some problems with it. A lot of numbers don't really mess with multiplication anymore. Every single time they try to, something ends up going wrong. It's not fun! Addition is fun. Well, I find it quite boring, but they find it fun.
Division, however, stayed a mystery for the longest time. Which, it bears repeating, is absolutely unbelievable. Division is quite literally just opposite multiplication.
Remember when I said multiplication is just addition multiple times in a row? Well, division is just subtraction multiple times in a row. Again, shocking that it took them so long to figure this out. I can imagine the moment now.
A lot of the time, the stupid people among us tend to have the best ideas. A lot of great ideas are unsaid just because they sound stupid. Like, imagine being all smart and educated in the 1500's and suggesting the idea of electricity. Oh, wow, magic beams from the sky can power gigantic and complex machines! Get out of here, man. But that's actually how it works! So I don't really know what happened, but we can probably guess that someone stupid— 9 or 7— brought up the idea of "reverse multiplication." I'm not sure. Maybe those two weren't even alive. I'm not exactly sure why I was the one to pen this history into the annals of time. I really do not know a single thing about what actually happened.
Anyway, let's say all the numbers were just sitting around, having a lot of fun, and playing on the seesaw. 9 walks in after a visit to the local multiplication symbol. She has a weird thought in her head, and she confidently brings up the idea of division. She's laughed at and made to feel very, very dumb. Little did they all know, however, that the idea of division is very, very real. It had just been forgotten about. More on that later.
THE POWER
The division symbol is theorized(?) to be extremely powerful, giving [??] leftward [????] the power to split themselves into multiple parts. The amount of parts the leftward number splits into is equivalent to the value of the rightward number in the equation.
The graphic below displays the basic capabilities of the division symbol. 16, being four multiplied by four, can get divided by 4 into four fours. These fours are all 16, just split up in between four different bodies. They all act like 16 and share 16's colors. This is because these four 4's are 16. 16 has disappeared due to splitting themself into quarters. Ultimately, 16 is splitting themself up. Imagine if you were split into four identical bodies— that's what happened to 16. Only in the graphic, of course. 16 is kind of a scaredy-cat, so I don't think they would be keen to split themselves up like this. Which is frankly weird to me. I think of it the same way I think of people who chicken out of riding roller coasters. Like, you stand in line for an hour and a half and watch thousands of people [?????????? i CANNOT make this out sorry]. Not a single person there. When's the last time [?????????????]? It doesn't happen! So what is there to be scared of! Do you think you're [?????]? You're not. You'll survive. Roller coasters are fun. Why are you robbing yourself of the experience?
Sorry for that, this book wasn't really the place for it. I think I could just delete it, but, um, I really don't feel like it. I got commissioned to write like at least 200 pages of this thing, and I'm kind of already running out of ideas. You saw it yourself, a couple dozen pages ago I went into a 2 page lecture about the history of devilled eggs. I literally just copied that from Wikipedia. I'm starting to think I'm not being paid for my writing ability, but just because someone was too lazy to do what I'm doing right now. Insane! This thing should be like, a pamphlet at most.
Whatever, I should probably get back on the topic at hand. The division symbol is very powerful because it allows the number to split themselves up. This is beneficial for manual labor and especially [????i don't know what that word is fighting? tighting? tichtong? what!].
Imagine how much you could get done in a day if there was a clone of you around. That's like, a basic sitcom plotline. It's relatable! The numbers, lucky as they are, get to live in a reality where this is possible. You need to lift a really heavy, wide object? Just divide yourself by two. Of course, you'd have to find 2 in order to divide yourself by them. That's really the only downside of the symbol. A lot of the smaller numbers don't like being "used" for division. They have their own lives! But yeah, division is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, powerful.
THE LOSS
Those who ruled the numeric realm at the time were not pleased with the existence of the division symbol. You know how people say when you're alone you're weak, and when you're united you stand. Well, yeah, extrapolate that concept into this. Do you think those who enjoy power over a population of powerful numbers like the idea of them splitting themselves into a million little equally-powerful pieces? No!
So those in power really did not like the division symbol at all. Like, they really, really did not like it. Like when you walk by a group in public and they start reciting jokes you swear you saw online six years ago to each other. Like, are you that unoriginal? You think you can impress your friends by stealing other people's jokes? They aren't even that good of jokes! It's just sad, honestly, just show them the joke on your phone, or something like that.
It just really grinds my gears, honestly. So I can really imagine how it feels to be whoever ruled the land of the numbers felt. I don't really think it was justified; in fact, it was kind of evil, honestly. But, like, if I happened to have dominion over those idiots? Yeah, I probably would want to get rid of the self-destruct button they randomly found and learned how to use. Especially if there are 2 other self destruct buttons out there for them to use. I say 2 because subtraction is kind of useless. Like... It doesn't really help anyone. Multiplication and addition are pretty cool though!
So, yeah, one night the numbers were having fun, partying, and just generally enjoying themselves— as numbers are known to do. They generally liked to hang out around the division symbol, actually. They really liked it! It was probably one of their favorite things in the world. Of course, everyone had their own personal favorite thing. 9's favorite thing was his sunglasses. His old ones, the real retro ones. They had a rainbow gradient instead of a desert gradient. Doesn't that sound cool? Meh. I don't need your approval anyway. Who cares. 8's favorite thing is when all of the other numbers are quiet. What a weirdo.
So the numbers partied all night. They sang songs and danced around. Blah blah blah. At the dead of night, the last number finally decided to go to bed. Numbers sleep, by the way. I don't think they really need to? I'll be honest I know almost nothing about those things. They're kind of useless? They're also annoying.
While they were asleep, however, the evil ruler of the realm took the division symbol and removed it from its place! It's a pretty heavy symbol, so I'm actually kind of amazed that a group of people were able to just pick it up like that. As you'll see later, 2 is also able to just pick it up on their own. Isn't that insane? Like, 2, let me know your workout regimen or something. I could use a tip or two. Haha, two, 2.
Ok, back on track for real, now. BFDI season 1 is the best season. Like, by a mile! It's just so whimsical and fun and awesome. My favorite episode is episode 6, The Power of Three. What's up with 3 anyway? Why aren't they in these things? We're all thinking it, right? This is meta, lol.
For real this time, let's get back on track. The numbers woke up the next morning to find their precious division symbol gone! All that remained was the discolored patch of grass that laid under the symbol for so many years.
The numbers were shocked and horrified by the division symbol being taken. 9 cried for like, three days straight, I think. It would've been cute if it wasn't so pathetic. Like, you're an adult, man. Either way, it was still a tragedy, though. The symbol meant a lot to these freaks! And now it was gone! The fun was over! They got over it quite quickly, though. Like, I'm not kidding, they all forgot about it the literal next day. It was like it never existed. Isn't that just crazy? These things are so weird, man. Like. Gosh. Just crazy.
Leading spots where experts think the division symbol might be hidden. It's not clear why they think these spots have the most potential. But they're the experts! So listen to 'em. Also, look, map! Go obsess over what the map means or something if that's what you're interested in. Go wild!
THE SEARCH
Why am I still writing this. How many pages are even left! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
The typography on those "blahs" is really ugly. So I'm going to stop using them to fill space. The numbers embarked on an epic search for the division symbol, but were a little too stupid to end up finding it. Who would've guessed! This is partly why I said they just forgot about it earlier. They tried searching for it, got lost, and instantly gave up! What losers! Can't commit to the simplest of tasks.
If I remember correctly, 7, the genius he is, started climbing a tree to get a good vantage point. The only [???????? the rest of the paragraph is like impossible to read]
[honestly this section and the next several paragraphs are so hard to read i can make out a few words and sentences but most of it is illegible for me it's not worth typing them out at this hour. pains me to do this but i must skip to the end...i did my best]
Last paragraph on this page, better make it count. Lalalalalalalala. Uhhh... Yeah I can't make this one count. There's really nothing to talk about with "The Search". There literally wasn't one. There's no way anyone is reading this far down. Whatever. Bye.
#again if anyone can make out the stuff i couldn't...please tell me!!!#i initially tried the first page as well but it wasn't clear enough for me to see the writing#bfdi#jacknjellify#xfohv#long post
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transfem ysayle headcanons?? 👀
hi bestie hi you're absolutely fueling me today thank you so very much. okokok. so. i've been trying to compile my thoughts in a way that reads as mostly understandable but I just physically cannot, so please excuse my entirely disconnected rambles, I'm GOING to try and make a point in the end (and also i know that anything you specifically may know about ysayle is probably through Post Osmosis so if you have any questions about her ask me I will talk about her for actual HOURS) also final "disclaimer" that's actually just "haha funny story:" this headcanon first came to me in a DREAM months ago, and i couldn't remember what point I had made in my dream until like 2 days ago while talking with my partner, which is why I'm so eager to talk about it now. Literally came to me in a dream. ok with that all out of the wayyyyy
Generally, this hc comes from two different places: Symbolism in the story, and actual, factual, "wow this makes sense and I can point to pieces in the story that make me believe this." With regards to the first half, I point to Ysayle's overarching story: Desperation for change. So much of Ysayle's character motivation comes from this genuine need to see the world changed for the better, to the point of being willing to do anything that she deems necessary. She's extreme, but it comes from desperation (for you specifically, the best way I could think to describe Ysayle is Anders, if blowing up the Chantry was the wrong decision). Furthermore, all of Ysayle's ice theming--ice is something that can change, and remarkably easily, too. There is something to be said that in embodying the cold that defines her, Ysayle allows herself to live a more genuine life. She's change encompassed within a woman, for better and for worse. When she sees the white dragon from her visions as a child after everybody she knew is killed, she is almost reborn in a way--perhaps in this rebirth, she decides to live a life more authentic to herself.
and then, there's her deep connection with Shiva within the story. In FF14, Shiva is a figure from loooong ago who fell in love with the white dragon previously mentioned, Hraesvelgr, and chose to have him consume her so that their souls may never part. Big story about love, and Shiva's influence upon him is the reason Hraesvelgr remained a peaceful figure as much as he REALLY wanted to start blowing shit up. Ever since she was a child, Ysayle saw visions of Shiva and Hraesvelgr, and my idea was that she very much attached her identity to Shiva, even before she had the words to describe how she was feeling about her gender. As she grew older, she related more and more to Shiva, even as the visions scared her--this longing to be like her, even if she didn't know why. Of course, after Ysayle survives the avalanche that kills everybody she knows, what does she have if not her visions to cling to more? As Ysayle decides to rally the heretics to fight against the Holy See and try to end the war, she hails Shiva as a saint, truly claiming her as part of herself.
This connection to Shiva, this claiming of her, goes hand in hand with Ysayle fully embracing her gender identity, going so far as to conjure up a false god that is meant to be Shiva, this completely idolized being that is everything Ysayle needs to be. And then, when Hraesvelgr denies Ysayle's creation, claiming it to be a mockery of his beloved Shiva, is that not ripping apart Ysayle's identity? She has spent so long attaching to this woman from her visions, this figure she idolizes, to the point of, again, creating a false god to embody, only to be told by the one living being that knew her, you will never be her. It's beyond devastating--it is no wonder that it sends Ysayle into an absolute spiral.
Of course, what of when she shows of to stop the heretics attacking Ishgard? Saying "there is no more war. There is no more reason to keep fighting." it's almost as though Ysayle is peeling herself away from Shiva, trying to stand on her own as her own woman, being her own figure not dictated by this dream she wanted to attain. And then, come the First Flight of the Excelsior, wherein Ysayle rides upon dragon's back to save us? It is as herself. There is no Lady Iceheart, and the Shiva she conjures is not defined by her idolizing dreams--it is Ysayle, as she longs to be, desperate to save us all.
(And of course x2, this makes me even more feral for "Ysayle lived" aus, where ysayle is given not just a second but a third chance at life, and she doesn't feel like she has to earn it. Her life isn't dictated by war, or by loss, or by violence, or by dreams from her youth. She's finally given a future to decide what she wants to do. She's fought for her future and won. her old child-like self who dreamed of a better world, who wanted to know why she felt so connected to the white-haired woman from her terrifying visions, doesn't know it--but one day they'll be happy. one day, they'll be free. One day, it'll all be worth it. One day.)
#tl;dr: the THEMES. THE THEMESSSSS.#IN MY HEART. IT IS CANON TO ME.#IDK. IDKIDKIDK BUT IT HITS ME.#IT CAME TO ME IN MY DREAMS AND IT'S STUCK WITH ME SINCE.#like just. ysayle's connection with shiva is the basis for ALL of this. y'know.#yeah. yeah. yeah. anyways. thank you for asking bestie. thank you.#rAAAAAAGH
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3. Birds of a feather
I don't know how to feel about this chapter,I'm in a bit of hurry but I wanted to update by the end of this day on Tumblr as well. So in the next few days I will definitely review it. :) Thank you for all the support
It was already afternoon when Isla, riding her horse, left the castle. Zelda had not had lunch with her that day,she was probably still doing research with the help of the two scientists. The cool air lashed her face as she galloped,determined to find some peace away from the oppressive walls of the kingdom,heading toward her destination.
She rode through the forests and hills of Hyrule, pushing her horse toward the village of Rito. The road was familiar, and her hands clung firmly to the reins as she retraced the paths she had crossed with Kael.
Finally, as the lights of the village appeared on the horizon, Isla's heart grew lighter. She needed to talk to someone who knew her pain and understood her past.
Revali, now an archery master known for his skill and grace, was a man of extraordinary talent and determination. His slender figure and silvery feathers shone in the moonlight, a symbol of elegance and strength.
Isla recalled how, after the death of their shared master, Kael, Revali had become a constant presence in her life. The two had found comfort in each other and developed a deep bond while maintaining a relationship of good friends and, perhaps, something more. At this moment the only one who could offer her comfort at that difficult time.
By the time Isla let go of the reins of her royal horse, the sky was full of stars. The Rito village was animated by a serenity that contrasted sharply with her inner turmoil. Climbing the endless stairs of the village,she greeted the now familiar faces of the Rito people who had seen her numerous times before until she reached the nest of the future champion.
Revali,who was cleaning his weapon after a long day of training, became aware of an intrusive presence and quickly abandoned his work. He soon recognized the figure and immediately greeted her with a surprised expression that soon turned to concern.
“Isla? What brings you here at this hour? It's been a few days since your last visit...admit it, you can't go long without seeing the talented Rito?” he joked.
Isla,ignoring Rito's humor stepped forward “Revali, I need to talk to you. Can I come in?”
Revali looked at her carefully, noting the obvious sign of concern in her eyes. “Sure, come on in.” He invited her to sit by the lit fire, which illuminated the room with a warm, welcoming light.
She sat down, as Revali prepared an herbal tea, his movement elegant and confident. “Tell me what happened,” he said, handing a cup of hot tea to Isla. “You look upset.”
Isla took the cup from Revali's wings and sipped some , the warmth soothing her pain, and then began to speak with her voice trembling slightly. “My father ... wants me to step aside from the confrontation with Ganon. He wants to arrange a marriage with a nobleman from another family. He told me that my role is only to ensure the continuity of the dynasty. Despite everything i have done to help, despite my training, it doesn't count for anything.”
Revali listened carefully, his piercing gaze trying to understand the weight of Isla's words. “And how do you feel about this?” he asked, his tone gentle but incisive.
Isla lowered her gaze, tears threatening to well up again.
“I feel ... like I've failed at everything. I spent years trying to prove myself, training and doing everything that was asked of me. But none of that matters. My father sees me as nothing more than a means to a political alliance.”
Revali approached, laying a comforting wing on Isla's shoulder. “It is not true that you have failed. Remember what Kael used to tell us, true worth is not just in the powers you possess or the titles you bear. Kael believed in you and taught you to be more than what others see.”
At the mention of that name,memories of Kael began to flood back into her mind “I miss him so much...I wish I could have spent more time with him,hearing him talk about his life,he did a lot for us,even though we were still kids.”
“It's true,Kael left us a legacy more precious than you can imagine,” Revali said,with a nostalgic smile. “Training with him was not just to perfect fighting techniques, but to teach us to follow our hearts. And you did just that,you were not wrong to step forward to help Hyrule.”
Isla lifted her gaze,finding her determination in Revali's words. “You're right,I have to stop crying,I can't act like a child all the time...” Isla collapsed on Revali's chest surrounded by her wings,to find more comfort,the cups now empty and abandoned beside their bodies.
“However Zelda should come and visit The Elder Kahn,as you know we are looking for people who can pilot the Divine Beasts and we have yet to find the knight who exorcises evil..." Revali interrupted her by exalting her personality “Well the princess had better choose me,as I am the best among our soldiers” Isla mocked him “ all right all right as you wish,I hope I can sneak into the expedition to return as well,now it is a matter of weeks,first we will head into the domain of the Zora and the city of the Goron.”
By now it was late at night when after hours of chatting between the two of them,Isla ended up falling asleep thanks to the newfound feeling of peace,so Revali gently lifted her up and laying her on his shoulders took flight toward the castle. As gracefully as he moved through the sky, once they reached the balcony of the princess's room,Revali laid her on the bed, making sure she was comfortable and warm. The feathers of his cloak rested gently on her, a gesture of tenderness that reflected their special bond.
Isla awoke for a moment, looking at Revali with a faint smile. “Thank you,” she murmured, the words full of gratitude.
Revali smiled softly at her, stroking her forehead. “Rest, Isla. In a few hours the sun will rise.”
With these words, Revali silently drifted away, leaving Isla in a peaceful sleep. The moon and stars shone through the window, and the night brought with it a promise of new beginnings and hope. Although the future was uncertain, Isla knew she could count on Revali and herself to face the challenges ahead.
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oooh 🦜🦉 :D ! ! ! !
HELLO RAGE MY FELLOW PERSONA ENJOYER, THANK U FOR THE ASK I GOT THE GOODS JUST FOR U
🦜 a pretty quote(you like the prose, or symbolism, or it's poetic, or you just like how it feels/the word choice!)
I know u love Akihiko (I do too) so have a future scene with Akihiko and Sae for Stygian Ringlet:
A thermos was suddenly placed on her desk in front of her with a dull thunk. Sae looked up and nearly startled. “Sanada?” “Don’t look so surprised,” he said. “I do work here, you know.” “What are you doing here?” she asked, dropping her voice low so no one would overhear. “I thought you worked at the station, not the courthouse.” “I had to drop something off for a case,” Sanada explained. “Figured you were gonna come looking for me anyway, so I thought I’d save you the trouble.” He glanced at the mess that was her desk. “Wow. And I thought Mitsuru was a workaholic.” Sae resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Sanada was… very straightforward. Not quite what she expected, but strangely easy to talk to. "I just have a lot of work to do," she said. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to leave the office until late today.” Sanada grimaced in sympathy. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll be working late too,” he said. “After the whole fiasco with the kid, everyone’s gonna be pulling some long hours for a while.” She hummed thoughtfully. “In that case, would you like to go get takeout together later?” “Sure,” said Sanada. “Got a place in mind?” Sae gave a tired sigh. “Normally, I would get conveyor belt sushi with—” She paused. “...With a coworker after days like this. But with everything that’s happened lately, I don’t feel very much like sushi right now.” Sanada looked thoughtful. “...How about I show you one of my favorite spots, then? I know a good beef bowl place not far from here.” “Beef bowls?” Sae asked. She thought about it for a moment. “...I suppose that does sound good."
I wasn’t expecting Akihiko and Sae to end up having a friendship dynamic, but they DO and it ranges somewhere between “accomplice partners in crime” and ”🤝 our workplace sucks, actually” and I am SO looking forward to actually getting to those parts in the fic. I love my p3 boys
🦉 a clever quote (something you're proud of!)
This continues off of the scene above, but I was having some fun digging into Akihiko’s reasons for picking the career he did (since I noticed it’s a little controversial among persona fans) and I’m a lil proud of this analysis:
“Why did you become a police officer in the first place?” asked Makoto. Akihiko paused as he considered the question. “I was never much good at detective work like Shirogane is. I’m no tech expert, I’m not all that good with kids, and I’m not really into business or management. I’m a guy who’ll have your back in a fight, but that’s about it.” Akihiko shrugged. “Somehow that ended up with me at the police academy. It’s not a fun job; hell, half the time I hate it, but I’ve got my reasons for sticking with it. And trying is better than doing nothing, I guess.” “If you hate it so much, you could have just stayed a Shadow Operative,” said Sae. “Although I suppose I’m not one to talk.” “I know I could have,” he said, remembering the few years after graduation he’d spent trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life now that the Dark Hour was gone. He had taken care of Ken up until he decided to move into the dorms on his own in the meantime, and helped Mitsuru where he could with the newly formed Shadow Operatives, but there weren’t any shadows to fight for a while. Looking out for the others was really the only thing that he wanted, but that wasn’t exactly a career option. He’d also tried out professional boxing for a while, and he had liked it, but making a career out of what was more of a high school hobby lost its appeal after a while. “So why didn’t you?” asked Makoto. Akihiko thought about the question, trying to come up with the words for an answer. “I guess… I just want to be the kind of adult the three of us would have liked to have around growing up. Ken, too, after he lost his mom.” For years it had just been him, Shinji, and Miki at the orphanage. Then just him and Shinji, up until the point where they’d been recruited by Mitsuru. Akihiko could count on his fingers the number of adults that had actually looked out for them during that time. There was one of those adults that Akihiko thought about when he considered going into police work. It wasn’t much, but he remembered the way Officer Kurosawa had supplied Akihiko and Shinjiro— two orphaned, rough-looking middle schoolers known for picking fights— with a meager selection of confiscated weapons, suspecting that something was wrong in Iwatodai and giving them the means to protect themselves. In hindsight, he had definitely been breaking several laws to do so, yet he did it anyway simply because he believed it was the right thing to do. Something about that stuck with Akihiko, even now. (When he thought about it later on, he wondered if Kurosawa had ever experienced the Dark Hour. It would have explained why he thought giving them weapons was the best way to help, or why he had so much faith in them. He hadn’t seen Kurosawa since graduation, so he never got the chance to ask.) Besides, Mitsuru, Aigis, and Shirogane were heavily involved in police and government affairs. Akihiko wasn’t a rich heiress or a detective; his options to help were limited. So he did the next best thing: taking up a police badge just so he could be there to have their backs when they needed it, so his closest friends and allies wouldn’t fight alone. He’d promised Shinjiro he would take care of them, after all.
Thanks for the ask!! :D (and also the motivation to work on this fic again lmao)
#my writing#p3#p5#ask#stygian ringlet#did I maybe go overboard? perhaps but it sparks joy#seriously do need to finish the next chapter I have gotten so badly sidetracked its unreal#pt!minato
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5/31/23
Yep, it's late again. XD
What happened this time? I don't know... I kinda panic-rushed to start working on those prototype beads at... 2 fucking 30 in the morning. You know... as one does... And here I am, starting my journal at 4:44 AM, the birds filling the air with their cheerful song, the midnight blue of dawn slowly warming the sky.
The good news? I got a really cool design done on one of the beads. The bad news? My goal was to do 4 of them, and to Mod Podge at least one of them. And I clearly didn't. So... yeah.
The day just got away from me again. Like... ugh. It's just frustrating me. I seriously don't even sit down to have my coffee until like 5 PM, and I'm rarely done drinking coffee before 7. Where do the fucking hours go?!
Like... I barely spent any time in bed! I got up, I did yoga - the lower back and hip one I like - then I did a bit of a workout after, because I hadn't been doing them. I have this ritual of opening the window and then doing the coffee before yoga, so it steeps while I'm doing that. And then, after the workout, I go and make cereal and I sit down and... it's like 4:30. At least.
I mean... I did play Risk of Rain a bit... but just one run to go for an achievement, I don't think it took longer than an hour... Hmm... maybe that did take longer than I remember. Maybe that's the X factor. Hmm...
Welp... after all that, I went and showered. I put a clothes iron and a glass bowl to make another plant terrarium thing with in a cart on Amazon and never ordered it. I made dinner. I played music for a long time. I got really sucked into it too. I even opened Cubase and got ready to record and everything. But... I never pulled the trigger on it. Not until too late.
What's getting in the way? Twitch. I guarantee it. I'm just getting distracted. It's too fucking easy for me, it's so damn tempting. It's improv, it's comedy, it's drama, it's character-driven stories. How can I say no? I don't know, maybe I'm being a bit hard on myself.
I did an intense workout today, I snuck in some work hours late at night and I'm still kicking my own ass about not "being productive". <eyeroll> I need to chill with that shit.
The flowers really didn't have the same level of aroma tonight as they did yesterday... I wonder why that is?
Anywho, since it's so late, I'm just going to move along to tarot. And I'm counting this as work, because I honestly think I could give some good readings for people, and I plan to try in the near future on stream. I would offer in-person, but... I don't even have a table in my apartment. We'll see.
Past - Ace of Wands, inverted (Inspiration, creativity, fresh ideas. The seed of confidence you need to embark on a new creative journey.) Present - Six of Cups, inverted (Nostalgia, memories, past relationships. Learning from and reconciling with the past, to create a better future.) Future - IV: The Emperor (A powerful, dominant, strategic and protective figure of great influence and reach. Symbolically, important changes, a shift in power, new responsibilities or authority. Adjacently symbolizes stability.)
I swear I shuffle and cut these every time. I even looked through the top of the deck to see if there were any other familiar cards from last night there. I guess these symbols are important!
So... last night we explored my connection between the Emperor in Past... and an inverted Ace of Wands in Present. Now we're looking at that inverted Ace of Wands as the catalyst. My inability to access my creativity: having creative block, me restricting or censoring myself, whatever the reason... That leads to a dysfunction in my ability to reflect on the past. Something gets fucked up there. Or... my nostalgia turns dark... That was the first thing I felt when I learned what the card meant. Like... how I struggle with nostalgia because... it's rarely good memories. It's like a minefield of trauma and painful emotions. So... I'm guessing my lack of confidence in my creative self can be a direct route to that. And... if that's out of whack? The Emperor comes out. I mean, why wouldn't he. He's the father figure, the protective guardian, the lord. And, in essence, that's not necessarily a bad thing... but... if we put that in the context of the reading last night about the Emperor having a strong tendency to cause inverted Ace of Wands to happen... That's a feedback loop right there.
When I struggle to connect with my creative spark, or lack the confidence to engage with it, I end up looking back to the Past in ways that are... not helping. Hopeless longing, or dreading, even spite. "I didn't used to be like this." "I never used to struggle like this." "I used to have friends to help with this." Shit like that, which just sends me spiraling into all the shit that comes with those memories, all the attached nightmares, all the ghosts haunting those houses. And the reaction to this? The Emperor comes out to keep order. The "alright, what's going on here, we're supposed to be working, right? How productive have we been today? What's on the whiteboard? You can think about that stuff later if it's important" voice. And he's good at keeping emotions at bay... for the moment... But what last night said was... when he comes out... it tends to actually either reinforce or even cause a blockage between me and my creative spark. Or, at very least, my confidence to take creative risks. And this can result in a great outpouring of emotion. Ironic, eh? XD
Welp... that's a bit of a cluster fuck, isn't it? Hmm... so... if there's anything I've learned this week. I gotta work on my inner parent. I need to let myself wander a bit more, and be okay with a few days of meandering. I need my inner parent to focus more on... constructing larger scale plans. Like... some form of day structure... like developing strategies to get to bed earlier, constructing hypothetical scenarios where I'm working and enjoying myself, finding ways to get me outside more. Shit like that. And less... self-policing. If I had a good foundation, a healthier framework, I wouldn't need to self-police at all. So... that's my solution. Instead of going "oh no, don't ever listen to the Emperor" or whatever... to give little tweaks customized to how I know my personality works. Something that seems doable.
But for now, I'm off to bed.
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City of Fallen Angels Quotes
“heard the echo through the house. “Mom!” he shouted. “Mom, it’s me!”
“Mom,” he said again, but this time his voice wouldn’t rise. It came out as a hoarse whisper.”
“Suddenly he imagined his mother grabbing for one of the knives.
Before I kill you, monster.”
“If she struck out at him, the Mark would rise. It would destroy her”
“staring at the front door of his house, marked and disfigured with the symbols of his mother’s hate for him.
No, he reminded himself. She didn’t hate him. She thought he was dead.”
“Just after you left, Maryse came back down from the roof where Jace was supposed to be waiting. There was no one there.”
“Then you tell me why his body isn’t there, because it isn’t,” she said, her voice finally breaking”
“over the past two weeks Clary had spent enough time among the glittering mess to have begun to find it comforting”
“I’ll be back. Five minutes.
That had been the last thing she had said to the boy she loved”
“Jace’s mouth on hers, the only warm thing in a shivering world. Clasping the Morgenstern ring”
“Clary had seen her face—white and set and frantic—she had known”
“What had happened next had been like a dream. The crowd of Shadowhunters in the lobby had surged toward Maryse; Alec had broken away from Magnus, and Isabelle had leaped to her feet.”
“Tracking? That’ll work only if he’s still alive. With that much blood it’s not very likely—”
“sitting bolt upright with her heart going like a trip-hammer, sure she had had a nightmare”
“the fading bruises on her arms and legs told a different story, as did the absence of her ring”
“It was like tiny fishhooks embedded in your skin, pulling the truth out of you”
“Isabelle looked even more slender than usual—like Clary, she’d lost weight”
“It would have helped her guilt over having left Jace behind on that rooftop”
“Isabelle swept her black hair aside, glaring, and Clary realized she was the one being told off, not the cat”
“She never spoke of Jace as being dead or even gone—she and Alec refused to entertain the possibility”
“in fact, Isabelle had been her staunchest defender. Meeting her every day”
“shooting dagger glances at anyone who dared look at Clary sideways”
“she and Alec had been exhausted and gray-faced from sixteen-hour patrols and searches”
“the knowledge that the Seelie Queen never gave anything without the expectation of something terrible in return”
“Hey.” A slim figure stepped into the room and shut the door. Alec, Isabelle’s older brother, was dressed in Council wear”
“You’re cleared of any wrongdoing. You broke no Laws, and Jia feels that you’ve been punished enough.”
“Alec took a breath and put his hands up to cover his face”
“for us—this has always been about searching for Jace. For the Clave it’s about searching for Sebastian”
“Just another Shadowhunter,” said Isabelle. “We die and go missing all the time.”
“He gets a little extra for being a hero”
“That’s what they told us after Max died,” said Izzy, her black eyes tearless but burning with anger”
“If it’s any consolation, there were a lot of people at the meeting speaking out angrily on behalf of keeping the search for Jace up”
“He’s alive,” Alec said cautiously. “You think I’d be this functional if he weren’t alive?”
“Ways that break the Law, you mean,” said Alec. He sounded hesitant”
“I’ll take whatever debt it is on my shoulders.” Clary remembered the words of the faerie girl who had handed her the bell. You would do anything to save him, whatever it cost you”
“If Jace knew I let Clary go to the Seelie Queen, he’d—”
“Hell, you think I don’t want to burn down the world right now? I’m just trying to be…”
“An older brother,” said Isabelle. “I get it.”
“If something happened to you, Isabelle—after Max, and Jace—”
Izzy got to her feet, went across the room, and put her arms around Alec.”
“It was like always wanting a puppy for a pet and being handed a hellhound instead”
“I was thinking of going to Taki’s for dinner with Isabelle and Alec,” she said. “Just… to do something normal.”
“But Jace was never scared. He was never anything but sure we’d find our way out. It took hours, but he did it.”
“Failing wasn’t an option. I’m just saying—he’ll find his way back to you. I know it.”
Clary didn’t think she’d ever seen Izzy cry, and she was clearly trying not to now.”
“she couldn’t think about Jace when he was twelve, couldn’t think about him lost in the darkness, or she’d think about him now, lost somewhere, trapped somewhere, needing her help”
“They were eating wax,” the boy—Jules—supplied helpfully”
“Isabelle said, in a remarkably steady voice, “There are three of us.”
“I don’t have any brothers or sisters.”
“None? Is that why you look so sad?”
“A little throb of hatred went through her, warming her icy blood. “Yes,” she said softly. “That’s why I’m sad.”
“You just said “Kiss the cook.”
“Dammit,” said Simon. “I knew Jace was screwing with me.”
“That’s what you remember about her? That she made Clary kiss Jace?”
“he added, half under his breath, “the way he got around before me, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
“he didn’t blame Alec for ducking out from under it and taking his chances with the rain”
“She looked older. she was different from the girl she’d been when they had walked into the Pandemonium Club”
“She was starting to look, he realized with a jolt of surprise, like Jocelyn”
“There was no need to think. Where Clary went, he went. They had been through too much for it to be any other way. Isabelle followed suit, and lastly Alec”
“The four of them held hands tightly.
Clary rang the bell.”
“The floor was smooth, worn down by the passage of thousands of years’ worth of faerie feet”
“followed Meliorn through the curtain of tortured butterflies, hunching her shoulders in the hopes that no part of their wings would touch her”
“the only one likely to be moved by her beauty was Simon, and he hated her”
“Isabelle only made an irritable motion at her, indicating that she should keep going”
“I don’t believe you sent me that bell when you did—the same night Jace disappeared—without knowing something was brewing.”
“Alec’s chest was heaving. Isabelle stepped quickly to his side and took his arm. “Alec, it’s nothing. It’s a glamour.” She turned on the Queen. “Take it off him! Take it off!”
“I rather miss your Jace,” she said. “Of all of you, he was the prettiest and the best-mannered.”
“If it means finding Jace,” Isabelle said.
Alec nodded. “Whatever it takes.”
“For as is often the happenstance with that which is precious and lost, when you find him again, he may well not be quite as you left him.”
“How was the Seelie Queen?”
“Same as usual.”
“Raging bitch, then?”
“Alec sputtered. “As the person being objectified, I… object to that description”
“Photos of herself and Simon, the Lightwoods, herself with Jace”
“a new globe, given to her by Luke, that showed Idris, bordered in gold”
“But I left him, Izzy left him, Alec left him—and Alec’s his parabatai.”
“Warm is best, but I think your mom would balk at me heating it up in saucepans.”
“Jace, his face always hidden from her by shadows or a breath of cloud or his own shining hair as he turned away”
“He had. That night she had had no bad dreams.”
“He wants me to wear midriff-baring shirts and a fedora. I’m fighting it.”
Clary smiled faintly. “So your inner vampire is Magnus?”
“Faeries are liars.”
“They can’t lie.”
“You know what I mean. ‘Faeries are misleaders’ sounds lame, though.”
“does that mean if I accidentally kick you during the night, I get kicked in the shins seven times by an invisible force?”
“Man, I thought you’d forgotten you lived here,” Jordan said”
“One of Jace’s black jackets still dangled from a hook, the sleeves empty and ghostly”
“watching the light glint off his pale hair, the quick movements of his graceful hands, the flex of the muscles in his arms”
“a pendant in the shape of an angel whose wings were clockwork cogs”
“the Opening rune—Clary biting her lip as she drew it, careful not to make it too powerful lest the glass case burst apart”
“You were right, Jace,” came a voice—coolly amused, and horribly familiar—from below. “The place is deserted.”
“She had not felt a shock this intense since she had seen her father run a sword through Jace’s chest”
“more than damaged, had been missing”
“beside him, golden hair shimmering in the pale sunlight, was Jace. Not Jace as she had imagined him so often over the past two weeks—beaten or bleeding or suffering or starving”
“This was Jace as she remembered him, when she let herself remember—flushed and healthy and vibrant and beautiful”
“I’m always right, Sebastian,” he said. “You ought to know that about me by now.”
“Jace had fought him and won once but had nearly died in the process himself. In a hand-to-hand fight she would never beat her brother.”
“Jace looked up, his mouth curving upward. Clary wanted to run downstairs and throw herself at him”
“resting one hand on Sebastian’s arm for balance as he read over his shoulder. It was like watching Jace with Alec”
“My favorite jacket is an emergency item,” Jace said. It was so much like hearing him talk to Alec”
“Much like myself, it is both snuggly and fashionable.”
“you’ll be ruling this place in a few weeks. You can run your favorite jacket up the flagpole and fly it like a pennant.”
Jace laughed, that soft rich sound Clary loved.”
“But the ice in her veins had grown so cold, she was terrified that if she moved, she would shatter”
“Alec unfolded himself groggily out of his nest of pillows and blankets”
“I know, but you’re supposed to meet your sister and the others”
“Alec stared at him. “Am I the newest thing in this apartment?”
“he’s a historical figure. And his snuffbox is in your junk drawer. What else is in there? Jonathan Shadowhunter’s toenail clippers?”
“Bull,” Alec said bluntly, buttoning his shirt. “What you’re not is forthcoming, sweet pea”
“Alec’s throat tightened. There were a thousand things he wanted to say, but he had never been good with words like Jace and Magnus were.”
“More than—more than almost anything else. But I don’t want her to know.”
“My mom tossed out Jace when she thought he was Valentine’s son and a spy—then she regretted it horribly.”
“I could never, ever cut Alec off. No matter what he did. Never. Or Jace.”
“My little brother died. I won’t ever see him again. Don’t put your sister through that.”
“No way would Alec have thought to buy something like that himself. The concept of matching seemed to be beyond him.”
“Clary appeared before them, her stele in one hand and her face wet with tears”
“It’s me, Isabelle,” she said. “You honestly think I wouldn’t recognize Jace?”
“Like, Sebastian is threatening him that if Jace doesn’t go along with his plans, Sebastian will hurt someone he cares about.”
“But this was Jace. He was making jokes like Jace does. Smiling like him.”
“Alec objected. “How did he look? Hurt, or sick in any way? Can you describe them both?”
It wasn’t the first time he’d asked.”
“Unless he couldn’t risk sending a message. He’d believe we would trust him. We do trust him.”
“If they think he’s cooperating with Sebastian, the mandate will be to kill him on sight”
“If Jace is possessed, the Clave will kill him themselves. We can’t tell them anything.” His voice was hard.”
“He won’t go to the Council. Not if I ask him not to.”
“He’d better not,” said Isabelle indignantly. “Otherwise, worst boyfriend ever.”
“I said he wouldn’t—”
“Not if you value your skin the way it is.”
“that was just a glamour. She’ll probably turn Clary into a lobster or something.”
“It’s a good thing we know the person who’s dating Magnus,” he said. “Otherwise, I get the feeling we’d all just lie around all the time wondering what the hell to do next. Or try to raise the money to hire Magnus by selling lemonade.”
“It’s an expression. We are all aware that your boyfriend is expensive.”
“She, who had never kept secrets from Jocelyn—not real ones, anyway—was about to go home and hide something enormous”
“Something she could talk about only with people like Alec and Isabelle Lightwood and Magnus Bane, people that six months ago she hadn’t known existed”
“Each breath a breath closer to aging and dying. Each night spinning him closer to the end of everything.”
“It was as if all the frustration, panic, and despair of the past weeks exploded out”
“he silently thanked Jace, who had made him practice flips over and over in the training room until he could use almost any surface to get himself airborne”
“she responded with an impressive torrent of filth that involved his sex life with Magnus, her sex life with Magnus, and there might have been more”
“Have you had enough?” he snarled. “Do you want more?” He began to force her hand back”
“It was like having your car break down on a lonely road, rooting desperately around in the trunk, and triumphantly pulling out an electrical extension cord instead of jumper cables”
“Maybe at this point I’m just searching because it feels wrong to give up.”
“Although, he seems to be generally considered stunningly attractive.”
“Are you going to pull that straight-guy thing where you pretend that you can’t tell whether other guys are attractive or not?”
“I think Jace comes out slightly ahead. If you like that whole chiseled, blond, Abercrombie-and-Fitch-wishes-they-could-afford-me thing.” ”
“And beside Sebastian was Jace, his gold hair the only color in the frozen landscape”
“wings burst from his back, white-gold and shimmering. Clary slid the last few feet to the frozen surface of the lake and collapsed”
“Jace,” she whispered.
And he was there, lifting her to her feet, his wings wrapping around her, and she was warm again”
“Clary,” he said, stroking her hair tenderly. “Can you promise me that you won’t scream?”
“Beside her was Jace, lying on his side, looking down at her, his head propped on his hand. Dim moonlight made a halo out of his hair”
“one hand clamped down over her mouth. His legs straddled her hips; she could feel his lean, muscled body”
“Jace, her Jace, had never looked at her like that. He had looked at her with desire, but not with this lazy, predatory, consuming look”
“the muscles of his flat, hard stomach against her bare skin. Her face flushed.”
“I was expecting more of a ‘Hallelujah Chorus.’ I mean, it’s not every day your boyfriend comes back from the dead.”
“He let his breath out in a low chuckle. “I knew you were there too. I could feel it.”
“I’m still Jace,” he said. “I still love you.”
“Well, well,” Jace said. “You may have the worst timing since Napoléon decided the dead of winter was the right moment to invade Russia.”
“They didn’t look alike, but they moved alike. As if—
As if they’d been trained to move by the same person.”
“Jace sat up, tugging his shirt down. “Give us five minutes.”
“Something flashed in his eyes, darkening their gold”
“I wasn’t planning on kissing you.” He grinned in a way that at another time she would have found adorable.”
“Tests are hard. Obstacle courses are hard. You disappearing like that practically killed me, Jace. And what do you think you’ve done to Alec? Isabelle? Maryse?”
“Oh, yes, I was going to ask.” He smiled like an angel. “Is everyone looking for me?”
“all that familiarity and beauty and that lovely predatory smile that said he was willing to do whatever with her”
“I was hoping they’d put up flyers like they do for lost cats,” he said. “Missing, one stunningly attractive teenage boy. Answers to ‘Jace,’ or ‘Hot Stuff.’”
“she was frozen, her eyes locked on his. Silvery moonlight outlined the curves of his mouth, the shape of his cheekbones, the shadow of his lashes, the arch of his throat.”
“The last time I ‘came with you somewhere,’ I wound up knocked unconscious and dragged”
“He killed Max, Jace,” she said. “Your little brother.”
He flinched”
“No.” Clary shook her head. “He’s not your brother. He’s mine.”
“Did you just call your own brother collateral damage?” Her voice rose in an incredulous half shout”
“You do—you still love me, don’t you?”
“I love Jace Lightwood,” she said. “I don’t know who you are.”
“a scream shattered the silence. A scream, and the sound of breaking glass.
Clary knew the voice instantly. It was her mother.”
“He could have stepped out of Hodge’s photograph of Valentine at seventeen years old”
“Jace burst out of the hallway, took in the scene in front of him”
“I thought you were dead,” she whispered. “Dead. I saw your bones turned to ashes.”
“Strong, handsome, looks just like dear old Dad.”
“I want what’s owed to me. In this case the Morgenstern legacy.”
“The Morgenstern legacy is blood and devastation,” said Jocelyn. “We are not Morgensterns here.”
“Clary moved to stand in front of Jace, reflexively”
“But for you—my Jonathan—it’s much too late.”
“You look like you always did, from the moment I first saw you. You look like a demon thing.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“For not killing you when you were born”
“Your father taught you to feign human emotion the way one might teach a parrot to repeat words. It doesn’t understand what it’s saying, and neither do you.”
“Jace sucked in his breath. She whirled to look at him. There was a spreading red stain across the front of his shirt.”
“Clary darted across the room, throwing herself between Jocelyn and Sebastian. “Mom,” she gasped. “Stop.”
“little sister defending her big brother.”
“If you kill him, Jace dies. He’s already bleeding. Mom, please.”
“Valentine’s son,’” he said. “Is that really how you think of me? Under other circumstances you could have been my godfather.”
“Luke, sliding his finger onto the trigger, “you could have been human.”
“Jace exploded into movement, launching himself from beside Clary, flipping over the sofa, and slamming into Luke”
“Jace turned back toward the older man.
“Luke—” he began.
Luke hit him.”
“the shock of it, seeing Luke, who had stood up for Jace countless times actually strike Jace across the face was as if he had hit Clary instead”
“Jocelyn screamed. The sound was worse than the sound of the bullet shattering the window”
“Jace swung into her field of vision and she saw the blood on his mouth where Luke had hit him”
“Enough!” Jace grabbed Sebastian by the back of the jacket. He was pale”
“His eyes met Clary’s. His lips shaped words—and then both of them were gone”
“for a moment was amazed at her mother’s calm. But then this was the woman who had once stood in the ashes of her home, surrounded by the blackened bodies of her family, including her parents and son, and had gone on from that.”
“the edges of the gray towel began to turn scarlet with blood”
“She thought of Jace kissing her—it felt like days ago instead of hours—and her stomach hurt”
“why anyone would want to drink warm sour water”
“And look what came of that. Jonathan. If I hadn’t stayed with your father, he wouldn’t exist—”
“Neither would I”
“Clary knew that look. That was herself looking at Jace. Alec didn’t return the gaze, though.”
“It’s true, what Magnus said? You saw Jace again?”
“Clary knew exactly what he was asking; for once she and Alec understood each other better than anyone else in the room”
“Alec demanded, with an odd blend of anger and vulnerability. “How is he different?”
“Did he say anything about me? Or Izzy? Did he ask about us?”
Clary shook her head, hardly able to stand the look on Alec’s face.”
“I’ll get that. Who knows who else might be on the run? It’s not like there are hotels in this city.”
“Because of what Jace means to me.” He raised his sleeve, showing Jocelyn the parabatai rune”
“Valentine said that when Luke became a Downworlder, he felt it. That sense of wrongness.”
“You can feel it when your parabatai dies—like there was a cord tying you to something and it has snapped”
“I felt it, once, in Idris, during the battle. But it was so brief—and when I returned to Alicante, Jace was alive.”
“dimensional pockets can be created that prevent magic from being able to find you. After all, you’re not here—you’re there.”
“to save the last of the Herondale bloodline, I consider that
of higher importance than the fealty I render the Clave”
“Should one die, the other will follow. No weapon in this world can wound only one of them.”
“Not to mention,” Magnus noted, “that Jace killed him. That would put anyone off.”
“Alec threw his hands up. “So they love each other now? They’re best friends?” The hurt and jealousy was plain in his tone.”
“What he believes, Jace will believe. What he wants, Jace will do.”
“He still loves you, said Brother Zachariah, and his voice was surprisingly gentle. You are the central point about which his world spins. That has not changed.”
“No one’s looking for me specifically, and it’s better that she not go alone”
“Clary rose to her feet. “I’ve been practically a prisoner for the past two weeks”
“Clary lost it. “Every time you try to keep me safe, you wreck my life!”
“I have a job offer for you,” said Raphael.
“Seriously? You short-staffed at the hotel?”
“I would pay you extra money to remain entirely silent while you worked.”
“If I were in a joking mood, I would spend that time with someone I liked.”
“if you want it in vampire language—it affords me great pleasure, my liege, to say to you now: Hell, no.”
“mostly suck. No pun intended.”
“there will be a line of enemies waiting their turn to kill you. And I will be at the head of it.”
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t looking for you, either,” she said, pushing past him”
“Jordan followed, buttoning his jeans and muttering about how there was nothing strange about having a pattern of dancing penguins on your underwear”
“Wrong?” Isabelle threw up her hands. “You mean other than the fact that my brother has disappeared”
“brainwashed by the evil demon who murdered my other brother”
“Where’d you learn to drink like that?” He wasn’t sure if he should be impressed or frightened.”
“She saved Jace’s life. She could have had anything from the Angel Raziel, and she saved my brother.”
“I’ve only ever trusted a few people in my life. Really trusted. My mother, Alec, Jace, and Max. I lost one of them already. Clary’s the only reason I didn’t lose another.”
“Clary saved a Lightwood. I owe her my life. If I can’t give her that—and I don’t see how she has any use for it—”
“he remembered Simon warning him, with wryness, that Clary had “the nuclear bomb of boyfriends.”
“You mean Simon?”
“Scrawny little mundane bastard”
“You’re not so bad,” she said. “If you want, I can say nice things to Maia about you.”
“wasn’t sure what Izzy’s version of nice things was, and feared finding out”
“in that reasonable tone that only very drunk people ever employed”
“I’ll knock on the window, and I’ll tell him how I feel.”
“Do you even know which window is Clary’s?”
“The horrible vision of a drunk Isabelle waking up Jocelyn and Luke floated through”
“She stood up, looked down at her feet with a surprised expression—and fell over backward”
“My plans are not terrible.”
“Isabelle’s plans are terrible.” He pointed a finger at her. “Your plans are suicidal. ”
“I would pluck out my own eyes with a fork before I would give away your secrets. Wait a second. Do you think that’s likely to be required?”
“the Simon-ness of him”
“now that I’m in your mind, want to see some naked mental pictures of Jace?”
“You’ve seen him naked?
Well, not entirely. But I—”
“we use these rings to communicate so those of us over here in the regular dimension of Earth can track you down? That plan?”
“Let me introduce you to my good friend No.”
“Yes,” Clary said, “Jace won’t find that odd at all. You can just tell him you’ve always been secretly in love with him and you can’t stand being parted.”
“I might have better luck telling him I’m in love with him. Jace thinks everyone’s in love with him anyway.”
“But I,” said Clary, “actually am.”
“You’re serious,” he said finally. “You’d actually do this.”
“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Jace.”
“But the actions we take in the name of love, those are moral or immoral”
“Finally he said, “I’d never say that. I’m still Jewish, you know, even if I am a vampire.”
“He made a covenant with us”
“Therefore you can never lose hope”
“Just remember, when your mother’s gnawing my ankle like a furious mama bear separated from her cub, I did it for you.”
“Jace,” she said. “Is that why you’re here?”
“Isabelle sagged against the door. “Is he—” Her voice cracked. She started again. “Have they found—”
“You can’t just call the Praetor. It’s not like 1-800-WEREWOLF.”
“Jace.” Isabelle’s voice was an indrawn breath. “Is Jace all right? Did they hurt him or catch him or—”
“Someone will tell. Then it’ll be a manhunt. They’ll kill him just to kill Sebastian. They’ll kill him anyway.”
“I want my brother,” she said. “I want to see Alec.”
“Part of her wanted to rush up the steps, knowing Alec was there and would understand”
“reminded herself that she was here because they had asked for her. They needed her.”
“Isabelle didn’t mind being needed. Liked it, in fact. It was why it had taken her longer to warm up to Jace”
“a thin ten-year-old boy with haunted pale gold eyes. Alec had been delighted with him immediately, but Isabelle had resented his self-possession.”
“Even at ten years old he’d had a sharp, defensive wit and an acidic temperament. In fact, Isabelle had thought, dismayed, that he was just like her.”
“it was Shadowhunting they had bonded over”
“When Alec had wanted to go out hunting alone with Jace, leaving Izzy behind, Jace had spoken up for her: “We need her with us; she’s the best there is. Aside from me, of course.”
She had loved him just for that.”
“Alec looked up and saw her, and sprang to his feet, hurrying to put his arms around her”
“How can you say that?” she snapped. “How can anything possibly be okay after this?”
“tugged gently at it. It reminded her of the years when she used to wear her hair in braids and Alec would yank on them, with considerably less gentleness.
“We need you.”
“Also, did you know you smell like tequila?”
“so that they can be hurt separately—Well, you know what I mean”
“It may not be Jace,” said Magnus, “but if he dies, your Jace dies right along with him.”
“Of course he isn’t,” Isabelle snapped. “Jace—”
“Jace,” said Magnus, and his hands made fists”
“You’ve lost me. Jace is our brother, but for Alec—He’s Jace’s parabatai, too.”
“There is nothing weak about Alec,” said Isabelle”
“this is where he would come. She sat down on the top step, pulled her backpack onto her lap, and waited.”
“Clary’s mother apparently regarded him as about as sexually threatening as a goldfish”
“I’m never scared, but I’m scared for Jace. I’m scared for my brother. I never ask you for anything, Simon, but I’m asking you now. Please come.”
“He was out of the apartment and on his way down the steps before it had even hit the floor”
“Alec was asleep, his head in Magnus’s lap, and Magnus was twirling strands of Alec’s black hair”
“He’d never seen Isabelle sleeping before. She looked younger than she usually did, her face relaxed”
“her feet curled up under her. She was wearing only a T-shirt—his T-shirt”
“Simon Lewis, Molester of Passed-Out Women” wasn’t really the epitaph by which he wanted to be remembered”
“Something where the good guys win and the bad guys lose. And stay dead.”
“Okay. I’ve got a good one. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”
“Jace was not patient. And he didn’t play games.”
“that she would meet Jace this afternoon for practice, or tonight for dinner, and he would hold her and make her laugh the way he always did”
“And he was there, walking toward her up the steps, as soundless as a cat, as always. He wore a dark blue sweater that made his hair look like sunlight.”
“He reached her and held his hands out; she took them, and let him pull her to her feet. His pale gold eyes searched her face. “I wasn’t sure you’d be here.”
“You were pretty angry before.” He cupped the side of her face”
“He drew her close. He was shivering too, and the wind was blowing his curling hair”
“Jace, thinking she was cold, pulled her more tightly against him. “He’ll be all right,” she said guardedly.”
“Faith,” he said softly. “You have to have faith.”
“Her life had changed in that moment in a way that could never be undone.
“There never has been any going back,” she said. “Not with you.”
“He smiled, as brilliant as the sun coming out from behind the clouds, and she felt his body relax”
“He leaned forward and kissed her”
“The golden feathers burned like fire where they touched her skin, but the black feathers were as cold as ice”
“The next room was clearly Jace’s. She knew it the minute she walked in. It smelled like him, like his cologne and soap and the scent of his skin.”
“it was pinning a photograph in place. A photograph of herself and Jace, taken by Izzy”
“His hand covered hers, almost absently, and he was smiling”
“hadn’t known he was smiling like that, not until now. Her throat contracted”
“It was the small box of her mother’s, the one with the initials J.C. on it”
“Clary knew what was in the box—a lock of hair, as fine and white as dandelion fluff; scraps from a child’s shirt; a baby shoe”
“the door was just opening, Alec emerging in a cloud of steam”
“Alec looked at her. “We like sandalwood.”
Isabelle made a face. “Either that’s the royal ‘we’ or you and Magnus are turning into one of those couples”
“With a smile like a wolf’s, he ruffled her hair. “Good to see you, little sister.”
“Were you hugging Clary?” He looked at Sebastian in amazement.”
“You don’t hug people,” Jace said.
“I ran out of time to bake a casserole.”
“What were you doing up here?” Jace asked.
“Looking for you.”
“They were in Venice. There was bread, Italian cheeses, salami and prosciutto, grapes and fig jam, and bottles of Italian wine.”
“I wouldn’t have thought of Valentine as…”
“Owning a flat-screen TV?” Jace grinned at her. “Not that it gets channels, but you can watch DVDs”
“They were for our mother. In case she decided to come back.”
“She felt a little sick. This is my brother, and we’re talking about our parents.”
“See the world?” Jace said lightly. “There’s worse things.”
“In you. She loves you. That’s why she’s here. Isn’t it?”
“If Jace trusts you, then I want to trust you,” she said. “And you’re my brother.”
“We’ll tell you. Our plans. In his mind there was a him and Jace; there was no Jace and Clary.”
“Jace gave him a look. “Two weeks ago you were dead.”
“Well, I wasn’t suggesting two weeks,” said Sebastian. “That would be insane.”
Jace’s mouth quirked”
“He was deciding what he was going to allow Jace to do, Clary realized.”
“Fine,” he said at last, his voice rich with condescension. “If you’re with her.”
“The idea of a Jace who was allowed to do things—Jace, who always did whatever he wanted—made her sick”
“Isabelle felt a little jolt. For all that Jocelyn looked like her daughter, her thin long hands, flexible and delicate, were Sebastian’s.”
“Isabelle remembered slicing one of those hands off”
“Isabelle raised her hands over the chasm. “Ignis aurum probat,” she said, and used the dagger to cut open her left palm”
“a flash of blue light, and a creaking noise. The drawbridge was slowly lowering.”
“They mean that adversity tests one’s strength of character. In difficult times, in dark times, some people shine.”
“you won’t be able to help it.”
“It’s very simple,” she said. “I want you to kill Raphael Santiago.”
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fuckzachariah:
Though his lip curled, a dance picked up in his chest, his stomach, as they began to slot the teeth of their bond back into place through casual humor. “Yeah, and we’ll circle back to these illustrious ‘fun costumes’ later, right after you’re done smuggling me out of here,” he quipped, eyeing her playfully. The nurse went on to politely plead with him, scooting the chair slightly. He looked at it with narrowed eyes, like a sworn enemy, the epitome of everything he detested to be. Before Zach could sneer some new, inventive insult and send the discs up the young girl’s spine awry, Alex interjected with a falsely saccharine intonation that made his own back straighten. He rolled his eyes, relenting. “Oh, yeah, he’d fucking love that. Wouldn’t he?” he prattled on childishly, sending his backpack forcefully into the wheelchair and watching it clatter backward. As Alex and the nurse performed a final sweep of the room, Zach sat on the mattress and disentangled himself from the blood-spattered hospital gown, pulling a large hoodie of his own over his head and proceeded to wait in begrudging silence.
Even as they meandered through barren corridors, Zach kept his head stooped beneath hunched shoulders and buried safely in his steepled hands, elbows resting on the chair arms. As they neared the door marked ‘EXIT’, his heart rate steadily picked up. Freedom grazed the tip of his tongue, crisp and shocking like a cold breeze. The door swung open and Zach squirmed in his seat, Buddy rounding the car, its engine still running and all the doors ajar. With an unseemly burst of strength, Zach hauled himself out of the chair, only to be almost knocked awry by Buddy’s hulking form crashing into him. “Hey, man,” Zach wheezed happily, his ribs crushed. He patted Buddy’s large back as best he could, one-armed, stumbling slightly. Buddy kept him upright without trying, or even really noticing, just with the strength of his embrace. Zach was tall, but Buddy shadowed him easily. Once they separated he beat Zach out by at least three inches. “Yeah?” Zach offered a paltry smile. He’d be glad when enough time had elapsed that nobody ever felt the need to reference this instance again. “Couldn’t imagine carting someone marginally more pleasant around? Ah,” he sounded dismissively.
A heavy hand lands solid upon Zach’s shoulder, and Buddy’s near-black eyes find Zach’s sternly. “Sure I could. But, I considered it, and I decided I’d rather keep putting up with your bullshit for a while longer. Alright? So get your stupid ass in the damn car.” Zach laughed appreciatively, moving from one aid to the other as casually as he could, his arm loping out for Alex’s shoulder. “Right. Then, I’d like to get in the fucking car before another living soul sees me like this, please.” He smiled sardonically. Buddy swatted Zach away as though he were no more than an annoying fly as he tried to get in the backseat himself, instead almost carrying him inside to loud protests, but eventually they were peeling away from the hospital parking lot and towards a place Zach was open to calling home again. His head lolled to Alex, her perfectly carved profile steadfast before the whizzing backdrop, and in that moment he knew that he had a good chance at succeeding in finding a home again so long as she was inside those walls, too. His heart began to slow. It was a little difficult to allow love to wash over him, but it kept coming, thick and fast. A tsunami of it. He had to duck his head and hold his breath. If he kept trying to fight it, it’d take him out with the rest of the detritus. And it felt kind of good to let it happen.
Without offering her face, or even her wide, headlamp gaze, Alex began speaking to him. Her heart was in her throat, though she fought for it not to be. Zach could always tell when it’d gotten tangled up in something. She attempted to coax him from his locked box once again, though this time, she wasn’t going easy. Her words were like calloused hands catching over silk. He winced in the darkness at her recital of events, turning his head toward the window, the streaking lights staining it. He remained jailed within his own silence for a while. Long enough that, had they not been sat right beside one another, one might doubt he’d even heard anything at all. He wasn’t sure exactly what she wanted, or needed, from him right now, and so he couldn’t determine whether he was prepared to give it. It was clear the situation was dire, that there were several more urgent issues cropping up around him outside of his alarmingly recent overdose, that they were all left untended to and spreading. There was nothing else to say about it - not now, anyway. Now, all he wanted to do was to go home with his best friend and his… Alex, and pretend none of it was happening until at least the morning.
But Alex was Alex. And if it’s one thing the mangled pair had in common, it’s their bullheadedness. Eventually, he took a breath, though his face was still turned away. “I don’t feel like death. I feel like I was dead and now life is desperately trying to punish me for it. My head hurts. My eyes hurt. I feel like I could vomit. I feel like there’s no blood in my body. Every bone and muscle aches, and more than that, they actually just don’t fucking work right now. I’m weak. It’s bullshit, and I hate it, and the rest of my life is shit, and I hate it. But you’re not. I have you again. And I get to go home. And Ryan’s there. And, fuck, Buddy’s here.” His hand flapped in the direction of the driver’s seat before flopping back into his lap. “And those are all good things that aren’t absolute dogshit, so I just want to do those right now.” And maybe forever. His face turned, his eyes on his knees. “Can that just… be enough? For now?”
She narrowed her eyes, attempting to interpret the expression upon his face. He turned toward the window; the occasional auric streetlight cascading across his nose, his lips. Without a single word, she sensed his rather touchy temperament. In fact, she predicted it, right down to the weighty breath that floated between them. Perhaps it was ill-timed. He’d only regained his consciousness hours before, but she hadn’t planned on him leaving the hospital so soon. He was safe there, sheltered from the reality that awaited him outside of those concrete walls. Whether he intended it or not, the responsibility of his well-being had been transferred to her now. Wasn’t it only fair that she understood what she was undertaking? And the whole truth – not the fragments he’d hand selected to make it seem less gruesome. Alexandra listened, glancing down at her fingers as they laid across her lap. His response was honest. At least he acknowledged he was unwell.
She took pause, drawing in her lower lip as she considered her words. “All I’m saying is, we started this relationship being completely honest with one another. I think that matters now more than ever and I’m just trying to understand how you got here.” Alex lifted her head to glance out of the window, noticing a trickle of rain coursing sideways across the glass. It was fitting for what felt like a somber moment, or maybe it was a symbol for the rebirth of their – whatever they were. She continued, “You asked me back into your life, but I really don’t know it looks like anymore. Not since I last saw you.” It was undeniable that things had changed radically in the time they’d been apart. She didn’t know who he spent his time with, what he’d been using to quell his pain, where he’d been, what he’d experienced. Then again, she supposed he could say the same for her though her account was nowhere near as eventful as his.
She sighed softly, staring past the droplets of rain and to familiar landmarks. They were almost home. “I guess we have a lot to catch up on.” Alex outstretched her hand, placing it gently upon his thigh and squeezing, “But, with no manager and a temporarily cancelled schedule, we have some time.” At some point, they’d have to find a replacement for Peter. Naturally, she wasn’t saddened by his departure. She viewed it more as a blessing, providing Zach an opportunity to move from beneath his poisoned thumb. Peter was never the man Zach perceived him to be, wanted so desperately for him to be. Despite her feelings toward his wicked handler, her heart broke for him. He’d been abandoned yet again. “We’ll figure it out.” She offered him a smile and meant it. The black Range Rover began to slow in speed, approaching the gate outside of Zach’s luxury community.
It was then she remembered she was supposed to text Ryan. “Shit,” she mumbled, taking her hand back to sift through her bag through her phone. Its light illuminated the backseat as her fingers skimmed across the screen – At the gate. Be there in 5.
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Hey! 8 from the happiness list or 7 from the sadness list please? If you're still taking prompts. I absolutely adore your work btw.
Well gosh, bruh 🥰
Happiness 8: Run away with me
-
“You work too hard.”
“I work just enough to keep this place from rack and ruin, thank you very much.”
She’s staring intensely at some spreadsheet or whatever, likely trying to convince Kara that she’s fine, but the fatigue in her voice, the slump of her shoulders, and the dark circles around her eyes tell a different story. Kara shakes her head in exasperation. Uncrossing her arms, she eases off the doorframe and walks over to the desk. She closes the laptop, unhooks the phone, and carefully lifts Lena off her chair. Any other day, she would be complaining, but not tonight. Tonight, Lena wraps her arms around Kara’s neck and allows herself to be carried to the couch with nary a peep of protest. Kara lays her head on her lap, and starts to gently scratch her scalp. Almost immediately, Lena relaxes. Her breathing slows and the tension in her jaw evaporates.
The weight of the world she’s trying to change melts away, and all that’s left is Lena.
And she is beautiful.
“Run away with me.” Kara whispers.
Lena smiles. “Kara, don’t be ridiculous,” she says with a soft laugh, touching her chin to Kara’s knuckles. “You know we can’t do that.”
“Okay. Run away with me for a few weeks.”
Lena slowly opens her eyes at that. She looks like she might be considering it, so Kara continues.
“Come on, what do you say? You and me, anywhere you wanna go.”
Lena’s eyes shine.
“Anywhere?”
-
The trip to Argo takes a day of planning and 46 hours of travel time. Lena spends half the trip asleep.
-
It’s Alura who greets them when they land.
“Mom, you rememb—”
“Lena! Oh how wonderful of you to visit us!”
The older woman embraces her like an old friend, and gazes upon her like a daughter. And Kara’s heart feels like it might burst.
For the next few days, Kara feels like a museum guide in charge of an overcurious guest. But she doesn’t mind. Everything fascinated Lena. She was so eager to learn all that she could, and spent most of her time either poking around with some tech or falling asleep at her translator tablet. Kara finds her in such a state one day, seated like a shrimp in the study, her dark hair falling over her face. She takes the device, bookmarks the page (3277, energy… dark matter), and moves Lena to a more comfortable location.
She’s startled to find her father next to her, Lena’s reading glasses in hand.
“She is exceptional.”
“She is.”
“I’m glad you found each other. A match like yours is rare.”
Kara’s eyes widen at what Zor-El must be implying.
“Oh. Oh no, it’s not—”
Her father only gives her a cryptic nod and softly claps a warm hand to her shoulder. He plants a kiss to the crown of her head, then puts Lena’s glasses in her palm.
-
She’s walking through the courtyard one morning, when she spots her mother near a patch of flowering hedges. Not unusual, she loves those flowers. What is unusual is that those flowers are symbolic of the union of two souls.
And that she’s talking about them to Lena.
-
Lena approaches her one evening, asks to meet her in the gardens.
“So… Your mom,” She starts. “We were talking the other day and she uh, she thinks that we’re…” Lena’s hands flail about helplessly between the two of them.
Oh, Rao.
“Yeah, funny, my dad thinks so too… But don’t worry, I didn’t—”
“No, yeah, it’s fine… I mean, I’m not…”
This might be the most awkward, most embarrassing conversation in her entire life, Kara thinks. Not even that first date with what’s-his-name from junior high could top this.
Her feelings for Lena were never easy to deal with. She’d always resorted to avoidance whenever she was forced to face their existence. And now she’s finding that she might be exposed, by her own parents, no less…
“Sorry about that. They can be a little… nosy.”
She decides to have a talk with them later, ask them to never bring it up again. But then she glances sideways at Lena, sees how the fading rays of the red sun bring out the color of her eyes, hears the music in her quiet laugh, and--
And Kara wants that. Not for a few hours every week. She wants that every day, for the rest of her life.
“Would it be so horrible, though?” she asks. “Being… together. With me?”
Lena’s gaze meets hers for a moment, then turns downward to look at her own hands. When she looks up again, the smile Lena gives her leaves no room for misinterpretation, and hope swells bright and loud in Kara’s chest.
“I don’t think it would be horrible at all.”
“Kara, darling!” Alura calls out in Kryptonian. “Supper is ready.”
Kara yells out a response and turns back to Lena. She tentatively reaches out to her.
Lena takes her hand, and threads their fingers together.
Dinner gives way to (an only slightly competitive round of) Kryptonian chess, gives way to a quiet walk under the stars, and Kara figures this was the best dumb idea she’d ever had. Lena’s head rests on her shoulder, Kara turns her cheek into her hair. She looks down at their joined hands and Kara thinks she’s found something here, in the softness of the moon’s pale glow.
It started out as running away.
Now it felt like she was coming home.
#funny i never saw that line#i'm glad you did#this was a bit of a challenge but i quite enjoyed writing it#so thank you and i hope this one is to your liking 🙂#spaceman-earthgirl#rbmicrofics#supercorp#kara danvers#lena luthor#supergirl#working title: shrimp#asks open#more in the#prompt list#tag
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For You, And You, And You
Summary: As if falling in love with three people who are already in a relationship isn't bad enough, you start coughing up flowers a few months after you figure it out. Now you have a decision to make, but you don't think it's really much of a decision anymore.
TW: Blood, vomit, unrequited love (not really unrequited), angst, hurt (there is comfort!), swearing, mentions of overstimulation (not the s*xy kind), and mentions of panic attacks. These sound bad, but there is a happy ending, I promise.
A/N: I know that I have other things that I need to be working on, but this has been running around my head all day and it seems like a good idea.
Side notes: Sign language usage, hard of hearing Bakugou, ADHD Kaminari
If I have forgotten anything, please let me know!
YOU WATCHED AS Bakugou corralled Kaminari and Kirishima towards his room so that they could study together, laughing when Kaminari threw you a look that practically screamed, 'SOS'.
"What are you laughin' at, Princess?" Bakugou snapped, glaring at you. "You're comin' with us!"
"All my homework is done," you informed him, glancing at them over the top of your book. "I don't need-"
"You're coming," Bakugou repeated, grabbing his blond boyfriend by the collar of his shirt when he tried to escape, practically dragging him.
You stood, knowing full well that Bakugou was not above dropping his boyfriends in his room and coming back for you the way he had for Kaminari.
"Fine," you grumbled, stretching with a sigh when multiple parts of your body cracked and popped. "Just let me grab my things."
Five minutes later you were leaning against the wall of Bakugou's room, right next to the door.
You were, according the Bakugou, guarding the door in case his boyfriends tried to escape for whatever reason, but you were pretty sure that he knew that you were sitting there so you could make a quick getaway.
You didn't mind studying with Bakugou and the boys, but it was awkward for you, given the circumstances.
Bakugou, Kirishima, and Kaminari had been dating since the break before your second year of high school. Halfway through second year and they had settled into a rhythm of sorts after many failed attempts and a lot of backtracking.
It wasn't their relationship that made you uncomfortable though, it was the fact that you spent so much time with them.
Normally, spending time with them would be an honor, but being in love with them made things complicated.
Especially when they seemed hellbent on spending as much time with you as possible.
You propped your book up on your knees, finding your spot before you pulled your headphones on.
They were low enough that you could still hear the boys talking, in case they needed to get a hold of you for some reason, but still loud enough that you could hear the beat and the lyrics.
Two taps on your shoulder had you looking up.
Bakugou tapped his ears twice.
It had been a code you had worked out.
Because of your quirk, you sometimes needed to keep your headphones on as training, and when they boys tapped you twice and then tapped their ears they were asking if you needed them on or if you could take them off.
Good thing about being friends with Bakugou was that he taught you sign language, so you had a way to communicate with the three of them if you needed to keep your headphones on.
"What's up?" you asked softly- just in case Kaminari was still sensitive- as you pulled your headphones down around your neck.
Kaminari had fried himself during training earlier that day, and his senses became sensitive after he regained himself, not that anyone had figured it out until recently because he refused to be any kind of burden.
"Can you help Dunce Face?"
"Always," you said, scooting over to see what Kaminari was working on, careful to avoid contact. "Hey, Kami, what do you need help with?"
When he pointed you in the right direction, you started working with him once you made sure Kirishima was understanding what he was working on too.
Bakugou tended to work by himself and then check on the others when he needed a break or once he was done with his own homework.
There were times when he would help them if they asked, but Kirishima and Kaminari were both stubborn and thought that they shouldn't need the help, so they tended to wait until Bakugou took a break.
It was one of the reasons Bakugou kept you around when they had these study sessions.
You were almost always available when they needed the help and he couldn't break his own concentration.
You checked on Kirishima once Kaminari was on track again.
He had been making leaps and bounds when it came to his classes after these study sessions had started being a regular thing. Kaminari had too, simply because Bakugou kept them on track and he was able to teach them in a way that they would remember and could understand.
They still weren't high in the class rankings because according to Kaminari and Kirishima, "Todoroki, Bakubabe, Midoriya, Iida, Momo, and you are all some kind of mutant geniuses," but they were doing better than Mineta and Aoyama were.
Bakugou had earbuds in, and he was nodding his head along softly to whatever he was listening to.
You had made a collaborative playlist with everyone in your class except for Mineta, and they always added their favorite songs, or ones they thought you might like to it occasionally.
You now had a playlist over 60 hours long, and you were constantly being surprised by who added what. Not only had it been a good way to get to know your classmates, it had also been a good way to irritated everyone when you blasted it through the dorms.
You had separate playlists with Tokoyami, Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari, Midoriya, Jirou, Mina, Uraraka, and Shinso.
They were the ones that listened to music the most, and their interests aligned with yours more than you thought they would.
Shinso, who was going to be replacing Mineta- much to everyone's relief- was someone you had come to know through Kaminari, and you had never regretted a thing.
Kaminari tapping on your shoulder brought you back to the present, and you turned your attention to him, explaining a concept he didn't quite understand yet.
Bakugou was at his desk, and Kaminari was spread over his boyfriend's bed, while Kirishima sat near the head of the bed, leaning against it as he worked.
When Bakugou stood from his desk with a stretch, you finished up your explanation, making sure Kaminari understood.
You scooted back over to your spot when Bakugou sat down near his boyfriends.
You shut your book, leaning your head back against the wall as you listened to one of your favorite songs.
When the song was over, you glanced at the boys.
They seemed fine, so you stood and exited while they were distracted.
You shut Bakugou's door quietly, heading for your own room.
A tickle in the back of your throat had you pausing to cough into your hand and clearing your throat a couple of times.
You knew that if Bakugou thought you were even the slightest bit sick he would kill you, and harshly nurse you back to health with a lot of yelling and cooking.
You really hoped it was just a small cough.
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NOT JUST A SMALL COUGH, you thought-panicked- as you stared at the three different flower petals in your hand.
Your cough had gotten worse over the last couple of weeks, but no one else seemed to have noticed, not even Bakugou, who was known for knowing when someone was sick even before they did.
You had heard of this.
Hanahaki, a disease born from unrequited love. A disease that would grow inside your lungs until a) you confessed and the feelings were reciprocated, b) you got the surgery that would take away the flowers and the feelings you had for the person(s), or c) you didn't get the surgery and the flowers slowly started to block your airway and injure your lungs and throat until you choked to death or died of malnutrition and dehydration from the damage to your throat.
A) seemed like the best option, but there was little chance of that happening.
You sighed, tucking the petals away in your suit pocket.
You knew you would have to tell someone about the problem soon, especially if they started to injure your lungs, which they likely would.
But for now, it would be your dirty little secret.
You had been going to the library after training, checking out books on flowers, trying to figure out what kind of flowers you were coughing up, since it might tell you who you were in love with.
You had a feeling, but you really hoped that you were wrong.
With further investigation, you found that you weren't wrong at all, quite the opposite in fact.
All three petals, despite being different colors were sunflower petals.
The red ones symbolized energy and passion, and while that one could have been for all of the boys, you knew that petal meant one of the people you were in love with was Bakugou.
Normally, people associated red with Kirishima, and while that was also true, you had a gut feeling that the red petals were for Bakugou.
The orange ones must have been for Kaminari then. They symbolized high spirits and happiness, and while Kaminari had his bad days, he could make you feel better even when he was having one of his bad days, and you loved him for it.
Which left the yellow ones for Kirishima. Goodness, truth, and endurance were definitely something you associated with Kirishima, and the brightness of the petal was a reminder as well.
You let out a shuddering sigh when the realization set in that you either had to confess and hope for the best, or get a surgery that would erase your love for them permanently.
"There you are Princess," Bakugou snarled softly and your jerked upright at the sight of all three of them standing there, looking worried.
"Hey, what's wrong?" you asked.
"You aren't in my room, for one thing," Bakugou said, eyes roving over your little workspace. "Taking an interest in botany?"
"Sort of," you said. "Someone's been leaving me flower petals, so I was wondering if there was a specific reason."
You had prepared the lie in case of something like this, you were just hoping that Bakugou bought it.
"Is that so?" he inquired, eyes sharp as they took you in.
Kaminari and Kirishima locked gazes over Bakugou's shoulder, some expression crossing both of their faces for a few moments before they went back to normal.
"So what are they?" Kaminari asked.
"Red, orange, and yellow sunflowers," you admitted.
You gave the boys a run-down of what they meant, but you noticed that Kirishima and Kaminari continued to share looks with each other, while Bakugou seemed to be scrutinizing your every move and word.
"I'm sorry that I missed your study session," you said after a few minutes.
"Don't worry about it," Kaminari said. "It's not like we're forcing you to go. We understand that you have other interests sometimes."
You noticed that he used the words 'we' and 'we're' and you wondered if that meant just him and Kirishima, or if that extended to Bakugou too.
"Still, I should have-"
"It's in the past," Bakugou interrupted. "Just make sure that you're at the next one."
"I promise I'll be there," you told them, smiling brightly, ignoring the urge to cough out more petals.
The amount of petals that you were coughing up continued to rise every week, and it was getting harder and harder to hide as time went on.
You knew that pretty soon, you would start coughing up full flowers instead of just petals, and that was what scared you the most.
You knew that you would have to go to the doctor soon, just to see how long you had before you were in serious danger, but you wanted to hold on for a little bit longer.
You wanted to hold onto the feeling of being with them for just a little while longer, before all that was left was the memory.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOU SHOULD HAVE ACCOUNTED for Aizawa though.
Despite his normally disinterested nature, he had grown attached to your class in the time he had you.
You may have been problem children, but your class were his problem children, and he had made a habit of checking in on all of you at least once a week.
"Who is it?" he asked as soon as you sat down across from him.
He had called you into an empty classroom, and you knew what he was asking as soon as he said it.
You pulled the petals out of your pocket- cleaned and pressed, because what were you, an animal?- and said, "Take a wild guess."
"I thought I raised you better than this, (Y/L/N). No loud blonds and no problem children, but two of those three are all both of those things, and the other might as well be!"
"I know, but the heart wants what it wants," you murmured, taking the petals back.
"What are you going to do?" he asked.
"I have a doctor's appointment on Monday, after class, so that I can see how long I have," you confessed. "After that, well, I guess the only option I have is to schedule the surgery. It's my best chance, even if it's gonna put me out of commission for a while, and there's a chance that it'll come back, everything considered."
"Have you tried telling them?" Aizawa asked.
"No," you admitted, shaking your head softly. "I don't want to burden them with this, and they want to be heroes, they would try to save me even though there's nothing they can do for me."
Aizawa nodded his understanding, but then sighed.
"In between your appointment and the surgery, if you need someone to talk to, Present Mic would be your best bet. He's gone through this before, and he's honestly better at talking with people about their feelings than I am."
"What happened?"
"In his scenario, he didn't need the surgery. I didn't need it in mine either."
Aizawa fished a ring on a chain out from under his capture scarf, and gave you a small smile.
You couldn't help the smile that spread across your own lips as you realized what this meant.
"I'm glad," you said honestly. "For the both of you."
"I want you to at least try to tell them," Aizawa said. "It couldn't hurt."
"I respect the hell out of you, Aizawa-sensei, and the same goes for Mic-sensei, but I'm going to have to say 'oh fuck no' to this one," you told him. "I really don't think that's a great idea."
"Well, I can't force you to do anything, but I really think that they at least deserve to know."
"I've started writing in journals," you admitted, pausing to cough petals into your hands before you continued. "I'll have someone give them out when before I get the surgery. Midoriya probably, he seems like the most trustworthy. Todoroki is another option. I want someone who isn't going to look through them."
Aizawa nodded, but he looked sad.
He laid his hand on your head, and it was comforting.
"I was hoping none of you would have this problem," he admitted softly. "I remember how horrible it was."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm just surprised that it was you, and a little disappointed."
"I'm sorry," you said again and Aizawa shook his head, removing his hand.
"You have nothing to apologize for, (Y/L/N), this kind of thing can never really be helped."
"I'm still sorry to have burdened you with this knowledge though. This kind of goes without saying, but . . . can you keep this on the downlow? I don't really want anyone fussing over it. The other teachers are fine, and they probably need to know, but I really don't want anyone other than that knowing."
"Are your parents aware of what's happening?" Aizawa asked.
"I told my mom, and she told Dad. He threatened to come, but I told him that it wouldn't do anything other than make things worse. They know about the appointment and the surgery since I'm a minor and I still need my parents for certain things regarding insurance and the like."
Aizawa nodded again, standing.
"You're free to go, and I promise to do what I can," he told you.
"Thank you Aizawa-sensi," you said, shaking the hand that he offered you.
"You don't have to thank me for this," Aizawa told you, looking for all the world like he would do anything to make the situation better.
"Still, thank you," you said.
He nodded, and you could feel his eyes on you as you walked away down the hall.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I heard that you have a doctor's appointment later," Bakugou said when you walked into his room for the usual study session.
"Yeah, I've been feeling a little bit off lately, and I was need of a physical soon anyway," you said.
"Are you okay?" Kaminari asked, taking your face in his hands to look you over for a moment.
"Kami," you murmured, putting your hands on his. "I'm fine. Just weirdly achy, it's nothing, I promise."
"It's enough that you're going to the doctor," Kirishima argued.
"You boys worry too much," you teased.
Your heart clenched at the sight and knowledge that they were worried about you. They worried about everybody, but this was a new level that you had unlocked recently.
"You're getting paler, and you've been coughing a lot lately," Kaminari argued.
"And you're getting slower during training. You took a hit from Racoon Eyes that you should've been able to dodge," Bakugou chimed in.
Damn, they really must've been worried about you if Bakugou was joining in.
"It's a cold," you said, exasperated. "It'll be gone in a few weeks."
"But-"
"Drop it," you snarled.
Kirishima and Kaminari flinched, going quiet, but Bakugou's eyes narrowed and he took a step towards you.
"I'm sorry," you murmured, curling in on yourself, immediately regretting the outburst, "but you guys are making a huge thing out of nothing. So I haven't been feeling so hot lately, but there's not a lot you can do. Besides, like I said, I'll be fine in a few weeks. At the worst it's a virus that I have to fight off on my own."
Bakugou's eyes narrowed further, and you could still see the hurt behind Kaminari and Kirishima's eyes.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you," you told Kirishima and Kaminari. "I get bitchy when I don't feel great. That's not an excuse though. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Come here."
Both boys moved to hug you, and you smiled at them.
"You want in Bakugou?" you asked when you noticed he was still watching you.
His face flushed pink and he snarled, "Not a fuckin' chance."
"Come on Bakubabe," Kirishima teased, opening his arms, and Kaminari followed suit.
"I have no idea why I'm in love with you fuckers," he muttered, but he walked over and let his boyfriends bring him into your little hugging circle.
"Thank you, guys, for being worried about me, but if there were something really wrong, I would let you know," you promised, hating the way the lie felt on your tongue and the way your eyes stung with unshed tears.
You let yourself soak in their warmth for a little while, tucking that feeling away, making yourself memorize the way it felt, before you let them go.
They weren't yours, you reminded yourself. They weren't your boyfriends, as much as you wished that they were.
"Let's get this show on the road," you told them, smiling brightly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Miss (Y/L/N)," the doctor said when he stepped into the room.
"That's me," you told him.
"So I understand that you're here because you've recently gotten Hanahaki, is that correct?"
"Yes."
"And, please correct me if I'm wrong," the doctor said with a wince, "but you've been coughing up three different colored petals?"
"Yes, one for color for one person," you agreed.
"Well, that's a problem," the doctor said, going over whatever was on his clipboard.
"Why?"
If this guy was going to be one of those assholes that had a problem with you loving more than one person, you were going to-
"When someone is coughing up flowers for more than one person, that dramatically decreases their time frame," the doctor said. "Loving one person means it's easier to avoid them until a decision has been reached about what they want to do. Two people is harder, but doable. Three people is hard, and given your current schooling situation . . . I'm sorry to say that my hopes aren't high."
You took a deep breath, or tried to, and let yourself take a moment to despair what was coming next, to think of worst case scenario before you steeled yourself.
"So what do we do?" you asked.
"Well, we have to do some tests on your lungs," the doctor said, "maybe a scan of some sort. I will also need to know the nature of your relationship with the people you are growing the flowers for, and their relationship with each other. It may affect the plant growth, and could sway any decision you make on your treatment plan."
"I'm getting the surgery," you told the doctor. "I made that decision before I even made the appointment. I've made the decision that I'm going to be selfish about this. I'm in the hero course. I'm going to graduate, and I'm going to help the people that need it. Not even Bakugou goading me into anything is going to get me to change my mind about this."
"Bakugou," the doctor mused, "is that . . . ."
"One of the guys I'm growing my flowers for? Yeah, he is. The other two are his boyfriends. I have a fucked up taste in partners apparently," you joked.
"Ah, you're one of those patients," the doctor said.
"Hmm?"
"You make jokes to help cope, and to try and put someone else at ease. You don't have to do that here. I am a Hanahaki specialist, I see a lot of people like you."
"Okay," you murmured.
After testing your lungs, and doing some scans, the doctor took you back to the original room.
"So, given the fact that you live in close proximity, and you have to spend a lot of time with all three of the various reasons, plus estimated rate of growth and your training routine . . . I'd say you have about a month left before you start heading towards red territory, meaning you have about a month before it starts becoming exceedingly life threatening."
"If I go into the red area," you began, "how likely is it that the surgery is going to be successful?"
"Depends on how far into the red you go," the doctor said. "Until about the halfway point, there are still high chances that it will be successful and that you will make a full recovery. Any further than that and the chances start decreasing dramatically."
You nodded, taking all the information in, processing it, tucking it away, applying it to situations that might happen.
"I can practically hear the gears turning in your brain," the doctor told you, giving you a small smirk.
"Sorry, habit," you said with a wince.
"You're taking this extremely well," he noted.
"I'm in Class 2-A," you told the doctor. "I've dealt with some bad people. Things like this don't faze me for long anymore."
"Fair enough," the doctor replied. "There's not a whole lot we can do for Hanahaki, even this early, so you just have to live with it until you set a surgery date."
"I have a vacation coming up," you admitted. "I'm assuming I have to go somewhere else for the actual surgery?"
"That's correct," the doctor said. "We aren't equipped for that here, we're just the starting point."
"Okay."
"I can give you the number for the hospital you can go to to get the surgery, and you can set everything up there or give them a phone call."
You nodded, taking the piece of paper the doctor handed you.
"I noticed that you came alone," the doctor said.
"Yes, I thought it might be easier this way. My parents aren't taking this well and the only people I felt comfortable bringing with me for this kind of thing are going to make it worse if I spend time with them, so my best bet was to come alone."
"I see," the doctor murmured. "Do your parents know that you're getting the surgery?"
"I told them, they know," you said.
"How did they take that?"
"Mom cried a lot, and Dad got mad and stormed away. They have mixed feelings about the whole thing. On the one hand, they're happy that I fell in love, they have reservations about it being who it is, but they could get over that, and they're upset that I have the disease in the first place. There's also the fact that getting the surgery has so many major side effects and they're skeptical. In the end though, they know that it's my decision, and I think Aizawa-sensei might commit murder if they don't let me make my own decision, and he made that very clear to me."
"So you have a support system?"
"Yes, quite a big one everything considered."
"Then you're free to go, but please give me a call if something changes."
"Thank you."
He nodded, sending you on your way.
When you got back to campus, the boys were there waiting for you.
You smiled when you spotted them, jogging over.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the end, your routine with the boys didn't really change. You still trained with them, still studied with them, but when they started asking you to join them places, you refused.
First of all, you weren't going intrude on their time together.
Secondly, as much as you would have loved to spend time with them, the plant growth was something you had to take into consideration.
You had started journaling for them more, the red one was for Bakugou, the orange one was for Kaminari, and the yellow one was for Kirishima.
You had decided that Tokoyami was your best bet for getting the journals to the boys before your surgery. He likely wouldn't snoop, and he could be trusted to get the journals to the boys when he was supposed to, not before when they had a chance to try and stop you from doing what needed to be done.
You had yet to talk to the boys about the side effects that the surgery might have on your mindset towards them, but you figured you still had time to find a way to broach the subject with them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.
You were pushing it with your training as it was, and while you were getting stronger, your lungs were getting weaker and weaker as the flowers got bigger and bigger.
"You're pushing your luck," Aizawa said, frowning down at you.
"I'm fine," you growled. "Put me in the fucking brackets. I'm getting the surgery next week, I want to get in as much training as possible before I'm put on leave."
He frowned, and he was glaring at you enough that anyone else might've backed down, but you were going to hold your ground on this one. There was absolutely no way you were missing this opportunity because your body decided that it was going to be a bitch.
"Fine," he grumbled. "Bakugou, you're going up against (Y/L/N)."
"Bring it on Princess."
"Don't hold back Blasty," you teased.
"Do I ever?" he replied.
"No," you said. And that's one of the reasons I love you.
When you both climbed into the ring, you knew it would be a good fight. You had so much stored frustration that you could take out on Bakugou without fear of harming him.
Without use of your quirks, it was almost a fair fight.
As soon as Aizawa yelled, "Start!" you were flying at each other.
Blow and block, block and blow.
It was like a dance, and things were going well for the both of you, but then Bakugou got in an unblocked blow to your stomach.
Had that been with the added force of his quirk, you would've been on the other side of Gym Gamma, but without his explosions, it just made you roll to just inside the boundaries.
You struggled to pull yourself up in between the coughing, but you were having a rough time with it.
You managed to push yourself up with your arms, but you still couldn't breathe.
You couldn't hold back the torrent of flowers that spewed from your mouth from the force of the blow. You hadn't been coughing, so there was quite a build-up in your lungs, throat, and mouth.
Bakugou launched himself, seeing an opening, but a hand held out by you had him stopping.
"Is she puking?"
"Is she alright?"
"What's going on?"
You heard Kaminari and Kirishima rushing to your sides as Aizawa ended the fight, but you waved away their help.
You were still coughing, but you managed to push yourself to your feet, though you swayed dangerously into Kaminari's side.
You were panting by the time the flow of flowers and petals stopped, and you were leaning heavily on Kaminari.
"(Y/L/N), get to Recovery Girl," Aizawa ordered.
"No, I'm okay, I can still-"
"Go!" he ordered.
"I'm fine," you argued.
"Fine?" Kirishima whispered harshly. When you turned his eyes were dark and he looked like he might burst into tears. "Fine?" he asked, voice rising. "Fine? (Y/F/N), you just threw up like, fourteen full-sized fucking sunflowers! Not to mention the number of petals too! That's not fucking fine! That's having stage three fucking Hanahaki!"
Everyone in Gym Gamma stopped at that and swiveled their heads to look at you.
You blinked as Kirishima continued his little tangent. He was swearing almost as much as Bakugou, which had you worried.
"You should have told us," Kaminari murmured, voice tight with restraint. "Why didn't you tell us?"
He was crying, you realized when you turned your head to look at him. There were tears streaming down his face, and he looked devastated.
Bakugou was eerily silent, and when you turned your attention to him, you winced.
"It's not your fault," you told him.
You hated that pinched look on his face, warring between guilt, worry, and something you hadn't quite figured out yet.
Kaminari wrapped an arm around your waist, lifting your arm over his shoulder so that he could support you.
"Bakugou, listen to me," you ordered, clearing your throat a few times. "Katsuki," you demanded when he just looked at you with those glassy eyes and pinched face. "This is not your fault."
He nodded, dazed, clearly not comprehending what you were telling him.
"Problem children two through four are free to go. Get her to Recovery Girl," Aizawa ordered. "And don't bother coming back to class today."
Kirishima took you from Kaminari, carrying you bridal style, and you leaned into him gratefully, letting your body relax, sucking in as much air as you could.
"Why didn't you tell us? We could've-"
"Could've what, Denki?" you asked quietly, letting exhaustion take over. "What could you have done? My body has decided that it's going to grow flowers to try and get my love interests to notice me that way. It's growing flowers for emotionally unavailable people and there's nothing I can do except get the surgery."
"You still could have told us!" Kaminari cried, sniffling and furiously wiping his eyes. "We could've taken you to your appointments and tried to talk some sense into whoever it was and-"
He broke off into sobs and you reached out to lay a hand on his head.
"Come on Kami, if anyone should be crying right now, it's me," you said, having to take more breaths to get through the sentence.
"We should have- no- I should have noticed," Kirishima said softly.
"I didn't want you guys to notice because I knew you would worry about me. I didn't want you guys to have to worry about me. Besides, I had my decision made by the time I coughed up the first full flower. I'm going to be selfish and get the flowers removed so that I can keep saving people."
"It's our job to worry about you, (Y/F/N)," Kaminari sobbed. "We're your friends, we love you, we want to know about this kind of thing even if it's not killing you from the inside out."
"Sparky's right," Bakugou grunted.
Your head lolled to look at him, and he looked some kind of devastated.
"Never thought I'd hear you say that," you said breathlessly, giving a small chuckle.
"You should've told us."
"Next time I'll let you know," you told them, closing your eyes as you leaned your head on Kirishima's shoulder.
As soon as Kaminari opened the door to Recovery Girl's office another fit started.
"Get her on the bed and give her a bucket," she ordered. "Unfortunately, I can't do anything for this. And in her current state, a kiss isn't going to do much. I'm sorry dear."
"It's alright," you choked out, coughing more flowers into the bucket Bakugou handed you.
Kirishima patted your back softly while Kaminari held your hair back.
"Who is it?" Bakugou demanded.
"Babe, now is not the time-"
"Who is it?" he asked again, much slower and softer.
"There's no point," you told him when the overflow of flowers stopped.
The boys helped you get comfortable and you closed your eyes, wishing the bed would eat you.
"They don't need me, they don't want me."
"Have you even tried confessing?" Bakugou snapped.
You realized with a small start that he was desperate and snapping because of it. He was mad because he felt helpless and he didn't know how to handle it.
"There's no point. Three different colored flowers."
"Three different people," Kaminari realized.
"It doesn't matter if two of them love me, if the third doesn't that means that their flowers will still grow. It might give me some time, but the end result is still the same."
It was quiet for a few minutes and you relaxed into the bed, trying your best to breathe through the flowers.
"(Y/L/N)," Bakugou eventually remarked.
"What's up Blasty?" you asked.
"I'm going to ask you a question," he announced, and you cracked an eye open to glance at him, only to find realization breaking over his face. "And you know I'll know if you're lying when you answer."
"Give it your best shot Blasty," you told him, closing your eyes again.
"It's us, isn't it?" he demanded.
"Ding ding ding," you sang exhaustedly, "we have a winner."
"Wait, what?" Kaminari asked.
"The flowers that I'm growing inside my lungs, they're for the three of you. Like I said earlier, emotionally unavailable."
It was quiet again before Kirishima whispered, "So . . . we did this to you? We did this?"
"No," you snapped, sitting up to glare at him. "This is not your faults. None of this is because of anything any of you did. Hanahaki is a result of a gene mutation."
"Can you . . . explain more in depth, please?" Kaminari asked.
"A long time ago, there was this clan of people who could control plants with their emotions. It wasn't a quirk, since they didn't exist back then, but it was more of a connection with the earth or something. Anyway, rage, anger, love, hate, it all fueled their powers over nature."
"Great, plant manipulation," Bakugou grumbled.
"Then they started marrying outside the clan and all that jazz. It's a recessive gene, but it was a big clan. Anyway, a lot of people have the gene, but they don't have the right circumstances to make anything happen because of it. Because it's a recessive gene, both parents need to have it before it becomes much of a threat. Only a few unlucky bastards will ever even have a chance of getting Hanahaki. There are other less deadly variants though, but Hanahaki itself is rather rare.
"Because of the gene, when my feelings got as intense as they did, it started growing the flowers for you. The way Recovery Girl explained it, my body grew them to try and convince you guys of my feelings or something. It's hard to explain when I don't completely understand what this is either. But in short, the flowers are for you and they'll only go away when you all love me romantically or I get the surgery and forget about you."
"So you're one of the unlucky fuckers that has both recessive genes?" Bakugou asked.
"You win again Blasty. Normally, when it's only one person, it doesn't progress as fast as mine did. They can be easily avoided and it can take years for it to get this far."
"But there are three of us," Kaminari jumped in. "And we all have to live together and train. You couldn't really avoid us, meaning it got worse faster than normal."
You nodded, swallowing harshly.
"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I didn't expect it to get this far, and I certainly didn't want you finding out about it until after the surgery."
"But, now we can help!" Kirishima cried.
"No, Kiri, you can't," you told him. "I'm sure you've heard, but Hanahaki is only cured when the feelings are returned. Even if you wanted to help me like that, it wouldn't work. Besides, I would never ask that of you, of any of you."
"But-But that means that you have to get the surgery and forget about us."
You opened your eyes and cupped his cheek softly.
"You'll make friends with me again," you assured him. "Even if it seems like I don't want you to. Even if my attitude towards you guys changes, I'm sure you'll somehow find a way to draw me back in."
"There has to be something we can do," Kirishima whimpered, eyes welling with tears. "We love you, we can't lose you like this."
"It's okay," you murmured.
"It's not!" Kirishima cried, sobbing.
"Hang on," Kaminari said, getting that considering look on his face. "What if we said we wanted the flowers?"
"Huh? You lost me," you admitted.
"You said that your body was growing these flowers for us, right?" Kaminari asked, then continued when you nodded. "Well, I want mine. I want to take all the flowers that you're growing for me."
You were about to tell him that that wasn't how it worked, but the flowers in your chest decided that now was the perfect time to eject themselves from your body.
You coughed and choked as a torrent of orange petals erupted from your lungs.
Just as one wave ended, another began.
Tears stung your eyes and your throat felt like it was being ripped apart from the inside out, and your chest was constricting so much you thought you might pass out.
Suddenly, something much bigger was being pushed out of your lungs and up your windpipe.
Bakugou was shouting for Recovery Girl and the other two were panicking and trying to assist.
There must've been a stem this time, you thought deliriously.
You couldn't get enough air in.
Just as your vision started to go fuzzy around the edges, someone was easing the flower out of your throat.
You hacked and coughed and sobbed as leaves and roots tore up your throat, but then there was air in your lungs and you could breath better than before.
You choked on the amount of air flowing into your lungs again and slumped over the side of the bed, panting.
You spit blood into the bucket by your bed.
"Um . . . this definitely isn't natural," Kirishima whimpered after everyone realized that you weren't dead and that you were no longer in danger of choking on another plant.
You managed to crack your eyes open enough to see that Kirishima was holding a sunflower plant almost as tall as he was.
The base was stocky and thick, with a wide system of roots.
It branched off into at least six different stems, each with an orange sunflower at the top.
You forced yourself to swallow and managed to croak out, "Kami said," before your voice gave out.
"That's right!" Kirishima cried. "Kami told her that he wanted all of the flowers that she was growing for him."
"I didn't think it would actually work though!" Kaminari cried.
Bakugou settled you back against the pillows of the bed, brushing hair away from your face as the world stopped spinning around you.
"Can we try it too?" Kirishima asked.
You knew that the question should've been directed at Recovery Girl, but he was looking at you.
You mimed writing something and Recovery Girl handed you a paper and a pen.
Maybe later, you wrote, I think if we tried it now I would die. I was barely able to stay conscious this time. More back to back and there might be permanent damage to my throat and/or lungs.
Kirishima nodded, but there was something shining in his eyes that made you wonder what he was thinking.
Think a kiss would help now? you scribbled out, showing it to Recovery Girl.
She gave you one, and you relaxed into the pillows, letting the boys ask her questions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOU FELT BETTER WHEN you woke up, though not by much.
Bakugou was asleep by the side of your bed, arms crossed under his head. His arms were pillowed by your thighs and you wondered how long he had been there.
You shifted a little, reaching a hand out to run your fingers through his hair.
"Hey Princess," Bakugou murmured, shifting to look at you, grinning softly.
"What time is it?" you croaked, wincing at the sound of your own voice.
"Little after five in the morning," he admitted, sitting up. "That one kiss took a lot out of you. Eiji and Denks went to bed at about one. I couldn't sleep so I thought I would stay down here in case anything happened."
"You mean you had a nightmare and instead of waking them up you came down here to feel useful in some way."
He didn't say anything but the blush on his cheeks gave him away.
"You didn't have to stay you know," you told him. "Just because of the whole Hanahaki thing-"
"It's not because of the fucking feeling flowers," he grunted. "I would've done this whether it was my fucking fault or not."
"I already told you guys," you snapped, "this is not your fault. You couldn't've stopped this."
"We should've told you sooner," he whispered.
"Should've told me what sooner?" you asked. "If you guys aren't comfortable being around because I'm in love with you, then you don't have to stick around."
"No, it's not that," Bakugou told you.
"What Katsuki is tryin' to say," Kaminari slurred, stumbling in, looking more exhausted than you, "is that we love you too. And we had been talking about asking you to join us."
"We were talking about approaching you about being our girlfriend, but then you suddenly started not wanting to go places with us and we were worried that we were making you uncomfortable," Kirishima added, rushing to make sure that Kaminari didn't crash into your bed.
Kaminari forwent the chair at the side of your bed and instead climbed onto the bed next to you.
Kirishima rolled his eyes fondly, sitting next to Bakugou.
"Yeah, what they said," Bakugou grumbled.
"You guys don't have to force yourselves to try and care about me like that," you said, frowning. "It doesn't do anybody any good and hurts everybody involved."
"How can we show you that we care about you like that?" Kirishima asked. "Please (Y/F/N)."
"Do I really seem like the kind of guy to lie about his feelings like this?" Bakugou interrupted. "And do you really think I would let these morons do something like this?"
"Kind of," you admitted. "You all care about people enough to try and do that. Besides, I thought you were all gay."
"Demi," Bakugou grunted.
"Pan!" Kirishima chirped.
"Bi, obviously," Kaminari murmured from where he was burrowing into your side.
You blinked, processing this new information.
You were about to respond but Recovery Girl waddled in.
"How are you feeling, hun?" she asked.
"About as good as can be expected I suppose," you said.
"I contacted the doctor that you originally spoke to and he said that the only way the flowers would've come out of your lungs would be because the person you were in love with said that they wanted them and because they were in love with you when they said it.
"That being said, these other two want to give it a try. We would need a small space between flowers of course, since they did a lot of damage to you on the way out, because of how far along you are, but it should work, if you're up for trusting them."
You glanced between the boys and sighed.
"Alright, let's give this a shot," you agreed. "I still have the surgery scheduled, so if it doesn't work I can still go in."
"It'll work. And when it does, will you believe us?" Kirishima asked.
"It'd be hard not to," you told him, "the facts are right there."
"Good. We can start whenever you're ready," Recovery Girl told you.
"Let's start now, I want this over with as soon as possible," you said.
"Understood," she agreed, grabbing three pairs of medical gloves, handing them to the boys. "You boys might need these."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roughly nine hours later and you were panting as Kaminari gently lowered you onto the pillows of your bed.
"How are you feeling?" Recovery Girl asked.
Like I just threw up my intestines, but they were covered in thorns, you scribbled out. But I can breathe if that's what you meant.
"A few kisses and you'll be well on your way," she said, not seeming to mind your snark.
Bakugou snorted and Kaminari looked like he was trying not to laugh.
"Do you want us to stay?" Kirishima asked.
You can if you want to, but I'm not going to force you to stay if you don't want to.
"Do you want us to stay?" Bakugou asked, exasperated.
You hesitated for nearly a minute before you glanced down at your lap, nodding.
But you can go back to class if you want to. I know you guys have been here for forever and that you have classes to catch up with, you scribbled out quickly.
"We ain't goin' anyway Princess," Bakugou said, flopping down into one of the chairs next to the bed.
"Besides, Aizawa gave us a pass this morning," Kaminari added.
"You want us to stay and we'll stay," Kirishima told you.
You were in the middle of writing something but Bakugou snatched the pad out of your hands.
"Just accept that you're stuck with us darlin'," Kirishima said, tossing it over his shoulder.
Kaminari hummed his agreement, crossing his arms over your legs so that he could lay his head on them.
"When this is all over, and you're good to go again, we're taking you out, for real this time," Bakugou told you, mimicking his blond boyfriend and the position you had found him in early this morning.
Kirishima followed suit and you ruffled their hair before you nodded to Recovery Girl, who have you two kisses.
You were out like a light.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Darlin'," Eiji called over the din of the party that was going on around you. "Your mom wants to see our party trick!"
You laughed, handing the cookie platter to your little cousin, who giggled, trying to look inconspicuous.
You weaved through the people mulling around and found all three of your boyfriends talking with your family.
"Are we going to have to do this at your parents' house too, Katsuki?" you inquired, hands on your hips.
"Probably, the hag loves this stuff," he muttered, but his tone was fond.
"What are we doing at Katsuki's?" Denki asked, moving to drape himself over your back.
"Our party trick," you said and he laughed.
"I don't see a problem with it," Denki chuckled. "I think it's pretty hot."
"It is, but that doesn't mean that he should have to do it every time we go somewhere," you argued.
"I don't mind darlin', really, I think it's kind of fun," Eiji said, grinning.
"I find it humiliating," Katsuki grumbled.
"That's because you can't lift Eiji yet," you teased.
Katsuki's palms crackled but his eyes were soft when he looked at you.
"Are we doing this or what?" Denki asked.
Denki, Katsuki, and you all walked over to Eiji.
Katsuki was on Eiji's left while you and Denki were on the right.
Eiji then scooped all three of you up in his arms and your family cheered.
You giggled, wrapping your arm around Eiji's neck to stabilize yourself.
When he set you all down your little cousins, and even some of the older ones, were begging him to see how many he could lift at the same time.
"Why don't we try it next time?" you suggested, getting pouts and cries of injustice. "Think of it this way, the next time we see you all, he'll be even stronger and he'll be able to lift more of you than he can now!"
That soothed them for the moment, but some of the older ones glared at you, seeing through your compromise.
"You just want to keep him all to yourself!" one of them said as the others dispersed.
"But he's my boyfriend," you argued, "so I know him better than you do."
"But you have two others!" your little cousin retorted. "It's not fair."
Denki was crying from laughing so hard in the background, leaning on a chuckling Katsuki.
"They're definitely related to you, darlin'," Eiji teased, wrapping an arm around your waist and kissing you softly.
Your little cousin whined in disgust and disappeared into the fray and you sighed in relief.
"You must remember what that was like when you were little, (Y/F/N)," your mother teased. "You were the same way."
"I was not!" you cried, cheeks heating up. "I only argued because people kept telling me 'that's just the way it is' and I wanted a real reason why."
"Aw, imagine how cute little Lightning Bug was," Denki cried and you glared at him.
Soon all three boyfriends were on you about it and you groaned.
"You're all so mean!" you whined.
"But you love us for it," Bakugou argued.
"I hate it when you're right," you muttered, sending them laughing.
It had taken a lot to get to this point, but it was worth it, you decided. They would always be worth it.
#bakukirikami#kamikiribaku#kiribakukami#bakukamikiri#kirikamibaku#bakugou x reader#kirishima x reader#kaminari x reader#katsuki x reader#eijirou x reader#denki x reader#bakukirikami x reader#poly#hanahaki au#hanahaki disease
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Forget Me Not-SBI
…. To the person that requested this…. Why? Why would you rip my heart out like this…
This is a SBI x gn!reader in the dreamsmp. So in this, Dream is kind of like an immortal being who is one age and has been that age for a really long time… You’ll see more what I mean when you get into it….
This is fine in the beginning and then it gets hella sad….. You’ve been warned.
Masterlist here
The garden. That’s where it all began with Y/N and the Minecraft family... It’s unfortunate that’s where it all ended as well.
Y/N’s POV
I met Phil many years ago in my garden. I had lived alone in the middle of nowhere for many years. After months of feeling lonely, I built a beautiful garden with not only lots of fruits and vegetables, but also lots of flowers so that all types of animals and insects could come and hang out in my garden. One day, I peeked out into the garden and found a man with two young children admiring the rows of plants. I didn’t mind, I was just curious as to the new people that had wandered onto my property.
“Hello” I greeted softly, approaching the three carefully trying to appear non threatening. The blonde man whipped around with wide eyes, revealing that what I thought was three people is actually four because there was a baby strapped to his chest. “Who might you new friends be?” I asked softly. “Oh! I’m so sorry. I didn’t know anyone lived here. I just wanted to show my sons around a beautiful garden to get them to calm down, I’m sorry again, we’ll leave!” He rushed out, grabbing his two standing son’s hands before trying to leave. The poor man looked exhausted. Like he just needed a break from… Well from his children.
I quickly held my hand out to stop him from moving, “No, you’re quite alright. You just startled me. It has been quite a long time since I’ve had visitors. My name is Y/N!” I introduced myself, hoping to further reassure the father and his children. The blonde man gave me a kind smile and let go of his brunette child’s hand, “I’m Philza, you can call me Phil.” I took his hand with a smile and shook it. “It’s very nice to meet you Phil.” “You as well Y/N. These are my three sons, Wilbur” he says, motioning to the brunette, “Techno. And the baby is Tommy.” I gave each child a warm smile. “It’s very nice to meet you boys as well…. Would it be alright if I showed your boys around the garden myself? You could go inside and relax for a bit if you wanted!” Philza hesitated for a moment, but couldn’t help the wave of relief that washed over him. “Yes. Please, that would be lovely.”
After chatting for a few more moments, Philza handed me Tommy and told the two other boys what would be happening. “I’ll be right inside, okay? Yell if you need anything.” And then Philza went inside. I had just met the man, but I knew I could trust him. “Alright boys, what do we want to look at first?” The four of us slowly moved about the garden. I told them everything there was to know about the plants I had been growing and answered each and every one of their questions with the utmost patience.
“Y/N! What kind of flowers are these?” Wilbur asked, his eyes wide and his small fingers reaching out and caressing the blue petals of a small flower. I smiled fondly at the flower before diving in. “Well Wilbur, those are Forget Me Nots and they are my favorite. They represent remembrance, a promise to always remember someone. They also represent love and protection. If you give someone a Forget Me Not, it means you truly love them and would go to the ends of the earth to protect them…” I explained softly.
Pondering for a moment, I reached out and picked four of the flowers. “Here,” I offered the boy softly, extending out the flower to him. Wilbur stared at me with wide eyes before softly reaching out and taking the flower from my fingers, “But you just said-” “I know what I said,” I cut in gently, extending my hand out and offering another of the flowers to Techno who also carefully took it. “I know I just met you today, but I would do anything for you boys okay? Anything you need, I’ll be there.” I told them softly as I rested yet another of the flowers next to Tommy’s sleeping head. For the first time today, the boys were silent, staring intensely at the blue petals of the flower that symbolized my promise to protect them.
“Now how about we go inside and give this one to your dad, huh? Then you boys can help me make dinner” The boys seemed to break out of their trance at that. Snatching the remaining flower from my hand, Wilbur bolted to the house, “I’m going to win!” He called over his shoulder to his pink headed brother. “No you’re not!” Techno screeched back, chasing after him. I couldn’t help but laugh at the interaction before slowly following the boys inside. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I would do anything for them.
Ever since then, the boys had become my family. Phil would come over with his sons and hang out. Sometimes when he needed a break, I would offer to take them off his hands for a while. At first he felt guilty for accepting, but he soon faded from that habit and learned that just because he needed some help sometimes did not make him weak. I watched the boys grow before my eyes. Tommy went from being carried everywhere to throwing a tantrum if you tried to pick him up without warning. Wilbur slowly became more and more invested in the garden, spending many hours out there with me, helping me in any way he could learning everything for himself. Techno broke out of his shell more and also spent a lot of time in the garden with Will and me, although he usually sat back and just watched.
One day while we were out in the garden, Dream appeared. I hadn’t seen Dream in a long time. We had once been friends. But over time, he slowly became a completely different person. Ruining people’s lives for fun and having no regret or remorse for it. So one day I left. I left for the middle of nowhere and never looked back, never expecting him to find me. But of course he had.
“Well, well, well… What do we have here?” I almost couldn’t believe the voice that called from behind me. I slowly stood up from what I was doing and carefully turned around. I could feel the twin’s eyes on me as I stood to confront the figure. “What are you doing here, Dream?” I questioned in as stern of a voice as I could. Dream let out a mock laugh as he crossed his arms in front of him, “Now, now. Is that anyway to greet your best friend?” I let out an irritated sigh and rolled my eyes, “You’re not my best friend. You are just somebody that I used to know. Now tell me what you want or get the hell off my property.” I finally snapped, just wanting answers.
A fake pout peeked out from under Dream’s white smiley face mask. “Awe, Y/N/N. That hurts. That really hurts… But I would watch your words and your tone… You wouldn’t want those two boys to get hurt, would you?” My eyes snapped to the two young teens standing by my side. “Boys, get inside the house.” I growled under my breath. “But Y/N-” “Now” I snapped. They didn’t question me again. Wilbur and Techno sprinted to the house. I watched carefully as the door shut behind them before turning back to Dream. “If you even so much as think about laying a single finger on them, I swear to God I will kill you.” Dream smirked, “Oh come on now. You wouldn’t hurt your best friend, would you?” “You’re not my best friend!” I broke, I marched forward and swung my fist at his face, which he caught. “And here I thought we could have a civil conversation.”
Dream threw my hand back and quickly struck back, his own fist flying for my face, which I easily blocked. The two of us took a step back, each scanning the other’s body before lunging back into the fight. Punches and kicks fly as both of us try desperately to get the other hand. It’s no use. We know each other too well.
The fight could have gone on forever if not for Philza. Wilbur and Techno must have gone and gotten their father because all of the sudden there are hands on my shoulders and I’m being pulled off of Dream. “Y/N!” He exclaims, turning me to face him, “What’s going on? Who is this?” I broke myself from the concerned man’s grip and turned to the green hoodie cladded man. “Go home Dream. Go home.”
Dream reaches up and gently removes his mask from his face allowing our eyes to connect. His emerald green eyes burned with a fury that I hadn’t seen in many many years. I allowed my eyes to roam his face, taking in the subtle changes that have taken place over his face. A small smirk quirked on my lips as I watched blood drip from his nose, knowing I was the one to do that. It must hurt… Good
“You’ve made a big mistake Y/N. All I wanted to do was talk. Wanted you to stand by my side once again.” I let out a scoff, “I will never stand by your side again Dream. You’re a monster and that is something I will never be.” The fury in his eyes seemed to burn brighter as his deamour shifted even darker, “You’re going to regret this Y/N. I swear. I’ll get you one day and you will regret not joining me. It will come from nowhere and you’ll regret it.” “That will never happen. Now get the hell out of here.” And for once in his life, Dream did as he was told.
After I was sure Dream was gone, I turned back to Phil with a sheepish smile on my face, “Thanks for that… That fight would have gone on for literal ever. Turns out when you’re best friends with someone for many years, you learn their fighting styles and can predict their every move.” Philza just stared at me in shock. “Who was that?” I let out a sigh before delving into a short version of the story. “That was Dream. He’s been alive for like, ever, and will be alive for the same amount of time. We used to be best friends… And then he changed and I didn’t want to be around that, so I left. Today was the first time I’ve seen him in years. It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m here and safe.” Philza seemed to accept my answer and pulled me into a tight hug. “Okay, well I’m glad you’re okay.” I hugged him back tightly.
My eyes flickered to my house and I let out a small laugh at the thing that stared back at me from inside my house. Philza pulled back and gave me a curious look. “We should go inside. It looks like two boys are very eager to ask questions.” I noted, pointing over his shoulder at the two boys that were peering through my kitchen window, curious looks on both their faces. Phil turned around and laughed at the sight as well. Phil put a hand on my lower back and walked with me inside the house.
Once I was inside, two sets of arms wrapped around me. I immediately hugged Techno and Wilbur back. “I’m okay guys. Thank you for listening and going inside the house. And thank you for getting your dad for me. I really appreciate it.” “Anything for you,” Wilbur murmured against my shoulder, “You promised to protect us the day we met you… We’re going to do the same for you.” His words caused me to melt. I can’t believe he still remembers that. I squeezed my arms around them tighter. My boys.
We embraced for a few moments longer before pulling away with a small smile. Techno cleared his throat drawing my attention to him. “Do you think… That maybe you could teach me to fight like you? Just so that I can be prepared in case Dream comes back I can help fight?” His question surprised me. I slowly looked over to Phil who simply gave me a shrug, “Up to you.” I turned back to Techno with a soft smile. “Sure bud, we can start tomorrow morning if you want.” A bright grin, one I rarely ever see from Techno, spread across the pink headed boy’s face. “Yes, please! Thank you!” “Of course kiddo… Now let’s get cleaned up for dinner.”
So everyday since that day, I trained Techno in the morning. It didn’t take long for him to become better than me. But still, everyday without fail Techno and I sparred. I would also tell him about Dream’s fighting style so that if he ever did come back, Techno would be ready. I assured him though, that Dream wouldn’t be back though. That nothing would ever happen. Oh how I wish I was wrong.
Dream did come back. On the day I least expected it.
I was in the garden, tending to the flowers. I gave Techno the day off of training, deciding he had been working hard enough that he deserved a day off. So having the morning free, I decided I would take the time to tend to my garden on my own, something that I hadn’t done since the day I met the Minecraft family. It was nice to have a little time to myself, but as I tended to the Forget Me Nots, I couldn’t help but miss my boys.
“Hello Y/N” Dream’s cruel voice greeted me from behind, startling me from my work. I felt irritation flood my veins as I rose from my kneeling position, turning around to face him. I felt my blood run cold as my eyes caught sight of the enchanted netherite sword that rested by his side. “Dream… What are you doing here?” I questioned, my eyes flickering to his white mask. I watched the bottom half of his face flicker into a smirk, “I warned you didn’t I? I would be back when you least expected it. Today’s that day.” He claimed with a huge grin, taking a few steps forward, raising his sword toward me. “Dream,” I whispered, horrified, “Don’t do this.”
I was defenseless. I had no shield, no weapon to defend myself. I knew if I tried to book it to my house, Dream would kill me before I even got half way. I couldn’t yell for anyone, I lived in the middle of nowhere and none of the boys were around. I was trapped with no way out.
“Don’t do this? No I think I will do this. I told you, you would regret it, today’s that day Y/N. Today’s the day.” I didn’t get to respond. Dream lunged forward and the sword was plunged into my stomach. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t. All I could do was let out a painful gasp as I collapsed on top of the sword. I couldn’t stop my hand that reached out and grabbed onto Dream’s bicep. Slowly, I looked up and met the white mask. Making a decision, I reached up with my free hand and ripped the mask off his face. If he was going to let me die, he would have to look me in the eyes when he does it.
Utter shock filled his face as the mask fell to the ground. His emerald eyes flickered down to where his sword had punctured my body. Regret seemed to fill his face, but only for a moment. Indifference took its place before a forced smirk played on his lips. Another gasp was ripped from my throat as Dream wretched the sword from its place in abdomen. The only thing that was keeping me on my feet was the hand on Dream’s bicep. Once he realized that, my hand was ripped from his body causing me to lose my balance and crash into the ground.
Dream loomed over me, a satisfied smirk painted on his lips. “Should have listen to me Y/N… Should have-” “Y/N!” A scream roared through the air. Techno was here, why is Techno here? Dream’s head snapped away from me toward the direction of the voice. He looked back to me and forced that smirk once more. “It’s too late,” he stated calmly, “You’ve lost too much blood… Goodbye Y/N… Should have taken me up on that offer” Dream almost sounded sad. I didn’t get a chance to say anything because then he was gone.
“Y/N!” Techno’s voice called again. I couldn’t call back. Everything hurt too much and I was getting too sleepy. Through my blurry vision, I could see Phil kneel down beside me, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy close behind him. I could feel his hands find their way to my stomach where he tried to put pressure on the wound. “No, please. Y/N” Philza begged, trying desperately to stop the bleeding, but deep down we all knew it was too late. “Phil,” I whispered, my hand reaching out and cupping his face. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. You’ll be okay without me.”
“Don’t talk like that Y/N. You’re going to be okay too. Please, you have to be okay,” Wilbur’s voice broke as he sank to his knees beside Phil. Tommy and Techno both joined him, each of their hands reaching out and grasping at a part of my body. “Yeah, we still have so much to do together. I have so many pranks I have to pull on you… Don’t leave.” Tommy said, trying to remain strong, and failing a bit as tears streamed down his cheeks. “Please don’t go,” Techno begged, “I still have so much to learn from you. Don’t go. Stay. Stay here. With us.”
I gave them all a sad smile, pulling my hand away from Phil’s face and resting it by my head above me, my fingertip brushing against the flower bush planted there. “Stay? I would love to stay and be with you boys. But it seems that I can’t.” Gathering all my remaining strength, I reached up and pulled a handful of the flowers from the bush. I let out a small laugh as they came into my view, just as beautiful as the day I planted them. Slowly, I reached my hand out to the boys. Techno was the first to get the message. His fingers reached out and softly plucked one bunches of flowers from my hand, as careful as the day we met. Three other hands slowly reached out and plucked the remaining flowers from my hand.
Once the blue flowers left my hand, I allowed my arm to collapse to my stomach to rest. “Forget me not” I breathed out before my eyes fluttered closed. Sobs filled my ears as I allowed myself to fall deeper and deeper into a black nothingness… And soon, there was nothing at all.
*POV Switch*
Third Person POV
Y/N was buried the next day in their favorite outfit in their favorite place, the garden, under their favorite flowers, the Forget Me Nots. The death hit the family of four extremely hard. Days and weeks went by as the four tried desperately to fix the hole that Y/N’s left in each of their hearts.
Techno was in denial the longest. Going to Y/N’s house everyday in the morning, knocking on their front door waiting for them to answer the door so the two could train together. But every morning without fail, the hole in Techno’s heart grew as his incessant knocking when unanswered. Techno only leaves the house once his eyes catch sight of the grave constructed in Y/N’s garden.
Wilbur took over taking care of the garden. He could be found many times a week slaving in the hot sun making sure that every single plant was thriving and perfect. He feels like he owes it to Y/N… If he couldn’t protect Y/N, maybe he could protect the garden.*
Tommy got really quiet. His usual loud manner and joking demeanour vanished once Y/N died. His pranks against his family stopped. He didn’t feel right joking in a world Y/N wasn’t in.
Philza was hit the hardest. He had to put up a brave front for his children. But at night he would allow himself to collapse. Y/N was his friend… His best friend… No. A piece of his family. They understood him like no one ever had. They had taken care of him and his family asking for nothing in return for years. Philza blames himself for many months. Had he gotten there quicker, Y/N would have survived. It was his fault they were dead.**
Everyone grew more protective of one another after that. Never letting one go anywhere alone, not that they wanted to anyway. Although they were protective of each other, the three boys were way more protective of Philza. They had already lost one parental figure. There would be no coming back if they lost the other.
Techno was almost always the one to accompany Philza on his trips. Training even harder to make sure that nothing would ever be able to sneak up on them or take him down. Every possible threat would find itself dead before it could even think to agro to Philza. With every swing of his weapon, Techno silently thanked Y/N for teaching him so well and swore to avenge them by killing Dream… One day.
Wilbur became protective over the words that were said about and to Philza. Not hesitating to physically fight someone that said a single bad word about his father. Philza was the strongest man Wilbur had ever known, he understood that now, and so insulting Philza would not fly by Wilbur.
Tommy began to do everything he could for Philza. He wanted to make sure that Phil knew how much he was appreciated and how much he was loved by his children. Tommy would make sure that Philza had enough food, that chores were done, things were clean, and everything was put in its place. Tommy knew now how much the little things meant.
Slowly, the four healed together. Laughter and smile crept back into their household as months passed by. The four made regular trips to Y/N’s house. They left gifts and letters one Y/N’s grave, hoping wherever they were they would accept them as an unspoken apology. Taking time to admire the garden started by their beloved family member, currently being kept by Wilbur.
Their eyes always linger on the Forget Me Nots. The flower that they got at the beginning and the end. Y/N’s favorite flower. Each time they visit, gentle hands reach out and pick five flowers… One for each of them and the final one for Y/N. No words are ever said as they gather their flowers, they don’t need them. The meaning of the gentle blue flower speaks for itself. The silent promise. Forget me not.
There you go… I really hope you enjoyed. Writing this legitimately made me cry, see the notes below. (the asterisks correlate to the ones in the imagine and points out where my tears occurred). If you did enjoy, please please be sure to leave a like and maybe even a reply or a reblog!
Notes:
*I kid you not, I know I’m the one that wrote it, but I began crying at that line. Like full on crying because it made me so sad. It doesn’t help I was listening to my sad playlist when I wrote this imagine.
**FUCK. I’M CRYING AGAIN. OH MY GOD WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF???
P.P.S. This is what a forget me not looks like if you didn’t know.
#mcyt#mcyt imagine#mcyt x reader#mcyt one shot#sbi#sbi au#sbi imagine#sbi x reader#sbi one shot#sleepy bois inc#philza#technoblade#tommyinnit#wilbur soot#philza imagine#philza one shot#philza x reader#technoblade imagine#technoblade x reader#technoblade one shot#wilbur soot imagine#wilbur soot one shot#wilbur soot x reader#tommyinnit imagine#tommyinnit one shot#tommyinnit x reader#ray cries a lot#ray-ray-writings#ray ray writings#forget me not
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Were you ever obsessed with getting a black spiked collar in animal jam bc I was and I want to know if other also had that obsession
I think everyone was, it was the trademark symbol of wealth for 10-year-olds. I was going to say that owning a long black spiked collar was the in-game equivalent of having a birkin bag, but I think that'd be misconstrued given that at some point black collars essentially became expendable currency among full-time rare traders, so they weren't even all that rare.
ANIMAL JAM'S SELF-DRIVEN ECONOMY WAS... what happened in there? it is so easy to make children become addicted to pseudo-capitalism.
I vividly remember the day when AJHQ put gazelle horns back in stores and I logged on (in kimbara outback, because that's how full the servers were) to see heaps of crytyping children because gazelles used to be a rare item that people traded their spikes for and now they were just a regular members store item. remember the magenta item craze? the forgotten desert parties? the thing kids did when they played adventures together and you had to unlock those stupid cages and people started arguing with each other over what cages to unlock first because there was a rumoured magical order that would give you a higher chance of getting rare items?
I played the game for years but I actually never had a membership, so getting rare items required a much more refined #grindset than the average aldan eagle avatar who hosted forgotten desert parties.
In my later years of playing, I did, however, have a good friend who was a full-time member, and she let me play on her account when she was offline. I really appreciated this, since it gave me a taste of all the features I'd missed out on over the years, and of course I played the forgotten desert for the first time. I played it for 2 or 3 hours, not really expecting much but doing it anyways because I always dreamed of being a member and playing those shitty paywalled adventures.
and one of those random chests gave me a long black spiked collar.
still not sure how exactly the stars aligned to give me that singular stroke of luck, but it didn't last for long because the moment I showed my friend, she asked if she could keep it. I acquiesced. I was, internally, a little sad and bitter about letting go after having that bestowed on me, but I figured it was kind of like me paying her back for being allowed to log into her account, so I forgot about it quickly.
however, that was not the first time that had happened to me. one time a year or two prior to that event I spent possibly a full month just grinding so I could get a green long collar, and one of my friends begged to have it for free the moment she saw it on my trading list, with her reasoning being "you can't use it anyway" (she was a member and I wasn't)... I was very lenient so, once again, despite my bitterness, I let her have it without much protest. but retrospectively... girl you are a full-time membership aldan trader arctic wolf go play the forgotten desert and make your own money leave me alone!!! God Damn 🙏
ultimately, I ended up trying to test the waters with the economy by running a bunch of schemes where I made new accounts and spent hours at claw machines (some members have dens specifically dedicated to those, which was always a great find for me) amassing rare plushies and swapping them for rares. swap a bunch of rares for beta items, beta items for spiked wrists, etcetera etcetera. I did this on multiple accounts when I got bored. you have no idea how good I am at playing the claw machines now.
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