#now i have a new medical provider that will hopefully be completely free until i can get insurance

[fallingbyjuleecruise]

cvs minute clinic, my new best friend

[invisiblerambler]

Lucky for all of you my brain is full of bees tonight, and I don't have therapy until Friday.

This is going to be entirely incoherent and a meditation on about thirty things at once.

School started last week and naturally my body reacted in a very normal way which is activating my fight or flight in a way I'm not sure any other single thing in my life does, actually I'm almost sure of that.

My instinct is to name off all the things I like about the program and the opportunities it's brought me in order to not look like an asshole, but honestly it's been really hard and it's hard not to feel like everyone secretly hates or even worse just tolerates me.

I am aware it is probably my own damage and trauma but that doesn't help. The utmost awareness of everything about this situation isn't doing fucking anything to lower my resting heart rate or feel less like my skin is crawling with bees. The answer is probably to get back on an anti anxiety medication but the expected challenge with that is the idea of finding a new provider in my new state and going through the process of titrating up on medication sounds completely awful actually. I know the alternative is suffering for the next 8 or 9 months for what will amount to a couple hours of work on the front end, but I can barely cook for myself right now much less manage something that complex.

I am forcing myself to hopefully for the final time go to the DMV tomorrow and get my drivers license done. I will be honest if it wasn't an election year I would not be worried about getting it done in a timely way because as a student you get a grace period and my previous state's license is good until 2028 so I wouldn't be seeing the inside of a DMV anytime soon.

But it is an election year and after going twice this summer with bad results (half my fault, but also fuck real id) I need to just close the loop on this whole bureaucratic nightmare.

I also need to exploit to it's logical conclusion the fact that I am basically a free agent at my job presently so why wouldn't I just do every single boring task during work hours while I can get paid for it.

I also wrote out a list of the people who I need to follow up with either over email or text. It makes me feel sick because I have a horrible fear that these people don't actually want to speak to me or otherwise engage and not that they just got busy and lost track of our correspondence.

It was really comforting to talk to D the other night. I felt so significantly less alone hearing that she had been in a similar way singled out by a peer.

I didn't realize how not seriously literally everyone had taken what happened until she actually listened.

I don't think she would make a lunch invitation without seriousness behind it. And I don't need an excuse to ditch work for a couple hours and go across town.

I did make a dentist appointment today so everyone clap for that.

Life admin (mostly) feels easier than things like doing school work which is genuinely like pulling teeth. I am being so avoidant of everything to have to do with school it's like I'm allergic to it.

Maybe if I write it down enough times I won't actually have to do any of it.

I hate that school makes doing every other thing in my life feel awful.

Including but not limited to life admin.

Everything is a lot, and I'm trying to be okay with that instead of feeling like I have to fix it. It will even out, I will even out. (I hope)

[crystaljins]

River lead me home | 06

Characters: Kim Seokjin x reader

Word count: 5.6k

Synopsis:  Ever since coming to the human realm when you were child, nothing seems to fit, and this was just supposed to be a simple roadtrip to help you find yourself.

Is that too much to ask for?

Spin-off to A long journey home

Rating: Teens

Genre: Adventure, fluff, angst

Notes: This is like the third or fourth time I’ve forgotten to post the chapter LOL!! Anyway, we’re fast approaching the end and I’m so tempted to draw it out because I’m not ready to say goodbye T.T but i’m also reaching the point where i can’t even remember what happens in each chapter LOL I read the cute messages you guys send and I have to go back and re-read to know what youre talking about ahaha

Also I feel like there hasn’t been enough asks about Jungkook’s role in this story and hopefully that will change after this chapter LOL

Tags: @blue1928​ @veeparkersstuff​

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 FINAL

As the three of you prepare to depart the next morning, Ayla catches Jin as he’s packing up the supplies provided to him. The Psittanurans had been generous in their rewards and you all have abundant supplies to last you through until you reach the human realm once more. 

“I apologise for offending Jungkook,” Ayla announces, as she helps Jin sort through the various medical supplies the Psittanurans had gifted to him. He’s not entirely sure on the function of each object, and so Ayla had offered to talk him through everything. 

Jin pauses in his examination of a bottle of sharp-smelling liquid to glance at Ayla in surprise. 

“Don’t mind him.” Jin says dismissively with a warm smile. “He has the manners of a sewer rat. In fact, if you want to execute him for his disrespect, feel free to.”

Ayla’s eyes go wide, her bright yellow iris peering at Jin in absolute horror.

“I would never do such a thing!” She cries. “Do you not care at all about your wish?”

“My wish?” Jin echoes in confusion. He can’t say he has a specific wish- mostly for peace and quiet, but the timing for Ayla to bring up a wish seems strange. She tilts her head curiously to the side.

“Is it not your wish he must fulfill? Is he (Y/N)’s pixie, then?” She wonders aloud. Jin stares, completely confused. 

“I mean, I wouldn’t say he belongs to either of us- he’s just kind of there. Like a toe fungus- hard to get rid of and painful to look at.” He snorts. 

“That’s strange. Usually pixies stay with the creature who made the wish, but it doesn’t sound like either of you have made a wish.” Ayla observes. Jin pauses as he packs away the last of his medical kit- the niggling feeling he had felt last night about Jungkook returns. 

“Wish?” He tests the word aloud. It does sound vaguely familiar- if he reflects on his schooling from before the war, he does vaguely recall something about pixies and wishes. But he can’t think what it is, and his memory is frustratingly blank. 

“Do you not know the origin of pixies? I would have thought an ancient species like a guardian would know everything there is to know about the species that inhabit this realm.” Ayla observes. Jin frowns. Perhaps, if his people had not been driven heartlessly from the realm they spent generations protecting, he would have the extensive knowledge that Ayla seems to expect of him. 

“Refresh my memory.” He says slowly. 

“A pixie is born of a desperate wish.” She explains. “And their goal and purpose in life is to see that wish come to fruition.”

Jin blinks. Jungkook, in all the years Jin has known him, has never mentioned anything with regards to a goal or purpose. All he’s ever done is get into trouble alongside you and antagonise small, fluffy dogs. 

“So, you think Jungkook has a wish he has to fulfill?” Jin questions. Ayla nods. 

“He must. He could not exist otherwise. Although, it is strange that neither of you seem to know about that. Can you not think of a wish he must fulfil?” She asks curiously. Jin frowns as he recalls the night before. Jungkook had been frustratingly vague when discussing why you had to see the river. And casting a spell to force you to see it had been oddly out of character for him. Could his strange behaviour have to do with whatever the wish is? What even is the wish? Is it yours? Why have you never mentioned it before?

“I can’t.” Jin finally admits. “This is the first time I’m hearing about how pixies are born. So then, what happens when they fulfil that wish?” He wonders. Ayla shakes her head. 

“I’m afraid that knowledge has been lost to time. No one has even seen a pixie in a very long time- they aren’t exactly common.” She admits. “The last one was probably the Saishta Queen’s pixie; it managed to convince two guardians to steal the young dragon prince. So, they have a bit of a bad reputation.” She admits. 

Jin is silent. Taehyung had been involved with the dragon prince incident, he knows, and his new girlfriend had gotten dragged into the fray too. But as far as he knew, Taehyung had never met any pixie. And Jungkook, as annoying and pesky as he is, would never do something as awful as that. Not to mention it’s been thirteen years since Jin met the little pixie. If he’d had bad intentions, he could have acted far sooner. It’s far more likely that you made a wish and you didn’t realise you’d created Jungkook. 

Still, he can’t help but wonder. If a pixie is born of a desperate wish, what was the wish that led to Jungkook’s birth? And what could Jungkook’s goal be in leading you to this realm, and to the river?

Ayla takes her leave then, bidding Jin a warm farewell and wishing him well on the rest of his journey. She leaves Jin alone in the little hut he had taken residence in for the night. 

“It’s not anything bad.” Jin starts at the sudden voice and turns to find Jungkook sitting comfortably on the little cabinet at Jin’s bedside. Neither he nor Ayla had registered the little pixie’s presence, which is disconcerting to say the least. 

“What?” Jin snaps, irritated by the way he was so startled. Jungkook stretches and gets to his feet. 

“The wish. It’s not for anything bad. So, you don’t have to worry.” He tells Jin with a yawn. 

“How come you never mentioned it before?” Jin asks curiously. Jungkook shrugs. 

“Well, I can’t. We can’t speak of the wish or the owner of the wish aloud.” He explains. “And as for why I waited so long... I guess I was afraid. I don’t know what will happen to me when I grant the wish.” He confesses. 

Jin stares at Jungkook for a long time, and for the first time since he’s known the little pixie, Jin realises that Jungkook is very good at hiding behind a smile. He can’t imagine what it must be like, having only a handful of people and some moths to talk to for thirteen years. Watching them grow up without you- not being able to share in the bonds and friendships they formed. 

“Will... will something happen to you?” Jin questions hesitantly. Jungkook shrugs and shoots him a grin, but there’s a tired quality to it. 

“I certainly hope not.” He answers, but the implication is clear: something might. Jin feels a tremor of unease at the thought. 

“Are you guys done? We really should be heading off?” You call, popping your head in through the doorway of Jin’s little hut. You’re already sporting your hello kitty backpack and you’ve changed into a fresh pair of clothes. Jin wasn’t afforded the luxury of fresh clothes, but luckily the Psittanurans had some travel garments they could lend him. It fits a little strangely given their unusual body shapes, but their tendency to make loose-fitting, free flowing clothes has worked in Jin’s favour. 

“Almost.” Jin says quickly. Jungkook flutters up to land cross-legged on Jin’s shoulder. Your gaze catches the exchange, and you arch an eyebrow. Obviously, it’s strange to see Jin and Jungkook getting along. But you brush it aside and offer Jin a smile instead. 

“Great! Because apparently the river is only a few days away! Isn’t that great?” You ask cheerfully. Jin struggle to keep a straight face as he recalls Ayla’s words from last night. 

“Hey,” Jin says slowly because he doesn’t think it’s right to keep such knowledge from you. “About the river-“

“Let’s get going!” Jungkook interrupts, leaping across the distance from Jin’s shoulder to your own like he’s an Olympic athlete. He stabilises himself against your neck and glares at Jin over his shoulder. The meaning of the look is clear enough- don’t say anything. Jin bites his lip- he’s not sure it’s right to keep it secret. 

But something stops him. He doesn’t know why. Something about the tone of Jungkook’s voice when he confessed that he didn’t know what would happen to him... it lingers in Jin’s mind. 

With a sigh, Jin shakes his head and steps so that he’s standing shoulder to shoulder with you. 

“Have you said goodbye to everyone?” Jin asks, because he knows you’d somehow made a whole bunch of friends during the festivities last night. It was surprising, to say the least. You’d never been the social kind or the type to win the attention of people you’d just met. 

Or maybe you’d just never been in the right situation to do so. Jin feels an uncomfortable pang in his chest at the thought. 

“Yup! So, there’s nothing left to do now except see the river.” You respond. You glance sidewards at Jin. “What were you and Jungkook talking about?”

“About your embarrassing crush on him.” Jungkook drawls. 

Your eyes go wide, and Jin feels his heart drop into his stomach. He can’t believe Jungkook would blatantly throw him under the bus like that- actually, no. He can believe that. 

“I... I...” you stutter, and your cheeks glow red and if the darn pixie didn’t have such quick reactions, Jin would be taking great pleasure in flinging him through the air at the nearest tree. Your mouth trembles and you look like you’re about to cry and if the revelation of your feelings didn’t already have Jin feeling like the scum of the earth, then this most certainly does. 

“(Y/N),” Jin calls hastily, already desperately trying to plan how to placate you. But then you swallow and stare at him with hardened eyes. 

“I don’t have a crush on you.” You assert firmly. 

The words die on Jin’s tongue. He doesn’t know why, but they do. It’s like you’ve just slapped him and he’s still reeling from the shock. He opens his mouth a few times, but no words come out- he just flounders uselessly like a goldfish that had foolishly leapt out of the safety of its tank. 

And it’s stupid. It’s positively idiotic. But he can’t help but think… you didn’t have to deny it so aggressively. It’s not like... it’s not like your feelings are a secret! And when you deny them like that... it just sounds so convincing! Wouldn’t a simple “huh I don’t know what you’re talking about?” suffice?

You take the opportunity of Jin’s speechlessness to get a head start, huffily storming off towards the eastern exit of the village. Jin shoots Jungkook a glare. 

“Very nice.” Jin snaps. Jungkook shrugs. 

“It was me or you, man. And sorry, but I choose me.” He says simply. 

Not for the first time, Jin restrains the urge to give Jungkook the solid flick he deserves. 

Luckily, though you have a multitude of irritating personality traits, holding grudges is not one of them. It does not take long for the wonders of the next leg of the journey to catch your eye and before long you are chattering Jin’s ear off like there’s no tomorrow, about the wildlife you’ve spotted or about the weird plants. It makes him smile, because this trip is finally being enjoyed in the way you intended it to be. 

For the first time since starting on this wretched journey, Jin realises he is enjoying himself. The sunlight streams warmly through the trees and gradually the metallic flora native to the Golden Plains starts to infiltrate the surrounding shrubbery. With your detour to the marshlands, you had essentially skipped the starlit wonder of Mountains of Delaria, but you will still get to see the magnificent Golden Plains as they are the only way to access the river after leaving the swamplands.

It’s so rare to see you smiling and cheerful. Usually you’re hunched and awkward, like a puppy that’s just been scolded for urinating on the carpet. But here, you’re bright- he’s even go so far as to say that you’re radiant, in the afternoon sunlight, surrounded by the mystically glinting metallic plants. You’re in your element in a way you’ve never really been before.

It makes a warm, fond feeling bloom in the centre of his chest. This is the (Y/N) that everyone has been trying to get back for so long. The girl with sunshine in her smile and bright, eager eyes. He had almost forgotten that girl existed but seeing her now- seeing you now- has him smiling like a dope. 

“What will you do when you go back?” It takes him a moment to even realise he’s asked the question. You stare at him, a bit surprised, while Jungkook shoots him a look like he’s gone crazy. Jin almost curses his big mouth, but then you smile at him. 

“I don’t know.” You confess. You turn your gaze to where a low hanging flower dips into your path. Its petals glint a wonderful metallic purple and when you run your fingers over them, they are stiff like sheets of metal. 

Jin prides himself on being a bit of a smooth talker- no one can be as popular with women as he as without a bit of a silver tongue, so to speak. So, no one is more surprised than himself at the tactless words he blurts out next. 

“Would you ever stay here?” He regrets the words as soon as he says them. What if he’s giving you ideas? His mum would kill him- your mum would kill him. And he’d never be able to visit- he’d wait a week and two years would have passed for you. Within a year, 120 years would have passed in this realm. You’d be long dead from old age by that stage. And yet... the question has been weighing on his mind without him even realising it. You’re so happy and at ease here- if you can’t ever settle in the other realm, does that mean the only place you’d ever be happy is here? His heart leaps into his throat in anticipation of your answer. Jungkook simply stares in confusion.

“No.” You say, and the firmness in your voice stills the panicked racing of his heart. “There’s nothing here for me, now.” You shoot him a furtive, shy glance. “Our family is in the other realm.” You remind him. “This was only ever supposed to be a short trip.” 

For some reason, his slow, stupid brain lingers on the way that you say “our family”. Not “your family”. Or “my family”. But “our family”. Like the two of you are family. That strangely fond feeling from earlier returns, but with a vengeance, carried on the wings of the thousands of butterflies that decide to take residence in his stomach. Jungkook’s incredulous expression morphs, and it irritates the way he looks strangely smug at Jin’s sudden floundering. Jin suddenly finds himself missing the time he had with you earlier, without Jungkook there to eavesdrop and pass judgement. 

“You seem really happy here, is all.” Is all Jin can manage. 

You turn to face Jin fully and your answering smile is annoyingly bright. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for years! Of course I’d be happy.” You remind him. “But me being happy here doesn’t suddenly make it my home. It stopped being my home the day that...” you trail away for a second, and your smile falters. “Anyway, it hasn’t been my home for a long time.” You say dismissively. 

“So, what did you think this trip would achieve, then?” Jin asks curiously. “And why now, right after a fight with your mother? You know she must be worried sick about you.”

You grimace, staring straight ahead. The trees are starting to thin out, and in the gaps between the foliage, an endless expanse of blue peeks through. 

“Are you trying to scold me again?” You joke. “I get that it was irresponsible. And selfish too. But Jin,” your expression as you gaze at him is so serious and sincere that for a moment, Jin doesn’t know who you are. It’s like an entirely different person gazes you at him. “I really, truly want to be happy for my mother. I love her more than anything. I want to be celebrating her marriage. I do. But I can’t... I can’t just forget about him. I can’t just move on.” Tears well in your eyes as you come clean. It’s been a very long time since you’ve been vulnerable and open with Jin like this and it surprises him to realise that he missed this. He’s missed having your trust and affection. He doesn’t know how he lost it, but he’s strangely relieved to know that he’s slowly gaining it back. “I’ve tried so damn hard. But I won’t be able to smile at her wedding or celebrate with her until I’ve said goodbye.” You confess. “That’s what this trip was. It’s a chance to say goodbye. So yeah, I’m happy to be here. I’m happy to be seeing the things he wanted me to see. But no, this isn’t my home- home is where you guys are.” 

In that moment, Jin realises something. He doesn’t know how he hadn’t realised it sooner, with it staring him right in the face all this time.  But never has it been clearer to him than in this moment- you’ve grown up. Somewhere, somehow along the line, you stopped being that little girl who needed him to hold her hand or stand up to her bullies in school. That’s why you’ve stopped looking like the girl he’s known all his life. It’s because you’ve stopped being that girl. And yet, at the same time, you haven’t. The person who stands before him is the young woman he’s cared for most of his life... but also a young woman he doesn’t know. Someone who can defeat Forest Spirits with her mind and infiltrate enemy encampments with nothing but her wits to save her friends. Someone who was brave enough to take the steps to recover after losing everything. And yeah, maybe you took a few bum steps along the way. Maybe you didn’t settle in as easily as he did. But you’re so much better than what he thought you could be- what anyone thought you could be. 

And he’s so incredibly proud of y-

“Look out!” You’re shoving him to the ground before he can even finish the thought. He winces as he hits the ground.

“(Y/N)!” Jungkook cries, and Jin’s never heard that tone of absolute terror in the pixie’s voice before. 

“Jin.” You gasp, standing where he had been a mere moment prior. He doesn’t understand what’s happening, until he gazes over your shoulder and he spots it. The arrow, sprouting from your left shoulder, right through the hot pink strap of your backpack. The blood, pouring from the fresh wound. The agony in your expression. 

And he’s a doctor- he’s seen much worse in the ED but for the first time in his life the sight of blood makes him dizzy enough that he may pass out. You’re bleeding- you’ve been shot. Worse- you were shot instead of him. That arrow’s trajectory should have lodged itself directly where his heart had been moments ago, but instead you took the hit. 

You took an arrow for him. He should be dead... but you... but you...

Time seems to slow as the colour drains from your face. You crumple, and Jin scrambles forward, barely managing to catch you before you hit the ground. He cradles you, his expression manic. 

“You idiot!” He all but snarls. “Are you crazy?”

“I’m sorry!” You gasp, clinging desperately to the loose material of his shirt. “My body... moved on its own.”

Jin has never really experienced heartbreak before. For a guy who spends a lot of time dating around, he’s always seemed to escape with his heart intact. 

But the weak, confused tone to your voice might just do it. If he’d known that it hurt this much to get your heart broken, he might never have risked it before. Nothing can prepare him for the sheer agony of realising you’d thoughtlessly throw away your life in exchange for his own. That the reflex is so deeply ingrained in you that you didn’t hesitate to throw yourself in the path of an arrow for him.

“Jin!” Jungkook cries. “Jin, they’ve found us! We have to go!” 

Jin doesn’t need to be told twice. He scrabbles to his feet, pausing to hoist your prone form over his shoulder in a fireman carry and then legging it as fast as he can, just as the sound of a Saishta hunting horn erupts in the shrubbery behind you. 

There is no living creature in this realm that can catch up to a guardian that has decided to flee. Even a guardian like Jin. Especially a guardian like Jin, who has desperation and panic fuelling his desperate sprint. You scrabble at his shirt, trying to stabilise yourself, and he ignores the way he can feel blood soaking into his shirt from where you grab at him. 

He doesn’t know how long he sprints mindlessly, desperately across the glittering fields of the Golden Plains, but right at the point where his lungs burn and he thinks he may collapse, he feels you tugging at his shirt. 

“Over there!” You gasp, and he turns his head to follow where you point with your good arm. It’s a slightly raised hill, with some sort of abandoned burrow. There are various megafauna that inhabit the Golden Plains and live below ground- this must be one of those. 

Jin quickly decides he’d much rather take on an angry giant rabbit than a troupe of highly trained Saishtas. 

The burrow entrance is small, and he’s glad you have sharp eyes, for anyone else would have missed it. But  after crawling through, although you have significantly more trouble with a blood arrow sprouting from your shoulder blade (Jin just ends up snapping the protruding shaft so that you can drag yourself through) it widens into an earthen alcove that’s just the right size for two guardians and a pixie to conceal themselves. 

You collapse weakly on the earthen floor, pale and gasping for breath.

“Let me see.” Jin demands, when he’s gained his composure enough to examine the wound. He’s still embarrassingly out of breath, but he doesn’t think he’ll ever get his breath back. He helps you into a sitting position so that your back is to him.

You offer no protest to him blatantly ripping the damaged strap off your backpack so that he can tug it over your other arm and toss it aside. It’s probably a testament to how much pain you’re in- that backpack had been a gift from Taehyung, and you treasured it like he’d bought you a diamond or something. 

The arrowhead doesn’t go deep, thankfully. The backpack strap provided enough padding to reduce the damage, and your shoulder blade prevented the arrowhead from piercing through into your thoracic cavity. But there’s significant muscle damage and if you were a human, you’d probably have lost all use of the arm. Blood streams from the wound and the material of your shirt is completely soaked. But the bleeding has mostly stopped, though your back is sticky with congealed blood. 

You aren’t going to die. Though you are weak and crumpled and pale from blood loss, you’ll survive. Especially with the enhanced healing your guardian nature lends you- if Jin can remove the arrow and stop infection from setting in, you’ll be fine. 

He feels the strength drain out of him at that thought. All that’s been keeping him going since the arrow hit him has been sheer terror. Now, with the space to breathe, he feels he doesn’t have the strength to hold himself up. 

He drops his head against your uninjured shoulder, and he feels you stiffen but you don’t crumble under his weight. 

“You’re such an idiot.” He says, but there’s no real malice in his voice- just a broken, exhausted tone he didn’t know he was capable of. 

A sharp jabbing pain in his temple startles him into sitting back up. Jungkook has kicked him. 

“Maybe you can save the exhausted lover boy act for after you’ve stopped her from bleeding out.” Jungkook points out drily, his arms folded across his tiny chest. 

“It’s... not that bad.” You grit, turning to face Jin. You’re pale and sweat pools at your temple and forehead. The pained expression on your face is enough to kick Jin into gear. Jungkook’s right. He doesn’t have time to break down now. The Saishtas are hot on your heels and you need first aid. And it’s nothing but open plains out there and golden, waist high grass. There will be nowhere to hide or escape once you set out for the river. If the Saishtas come across you, it’s outrun them, or defeat them. Jin doubts the three of you could do either in your current states.

Jin swallows and reaches for the satchel with the medical kit the Psittanurans had gifted him with. He’s just blindly trusting that the substances they gave him actually do what they claim and aren’t just hopeful voodoo, but it’s not like he has a bag of IV fluids and a sterile surgical kit handy to stitch you up. 

“I’m going to have to pull the arrow out.” He warns you, reaching for your torn bag strap. He balls it up in his hand and holds it up to your face. 

“As much as it hurts, bite into this.” He tells you. “I don’t have any local and so this is going to hurt like hell.”

You look slightly uneasy, but nod your head, leaning forward to take the balled-up strap between your teeth. 

Jin pulls out a small, dark vial which Ayla had told him was a coagulating liquid. Muscles bleed like hell and if the arrow has hit any vessels, you may pass out from blood loss. He swallows and braces himself. He can do this. He’s a doctor. He reaches deep into him and recalls the guy who worked in the ED and didn’t bat an eye at knife injuries or chainsaw accidents or that one drug addict with a prolapsed rectum. 

“Ok, I’m going to do it now.” He warns you. He then plants one hand flat on your uninjured shoulder and grips the broken arrow shaft in the other. 

“On the count of three.” He tells you, and you nod. Your fingers dig into the ground in anticipation. 

“Three.” He says, and then he yanks the arrow. 

Your answering scream is muffled by the bag strap, and you spit it out quickly as he empties the bottle of coagulant over the open wound, which is now filling up with fresh blood. 

“That wasn’t on the count of three!” You shriek. Jin nods sheepishly. 

“Ok. Well. There’s no use crying over the past.” He offers helpfully. He shoots a look at Jungkook. “Turn around. I’m taking her shirt off.” 

Both you and Jungkook splutter. 

“Why?” The two of you cry in eerie unison. You even turn fully to face Jin for good measure. He merely arches an eyebrow at you. 

“I know you don’t have a degree in medicine or anything... but generally bandages don’t include your tattered shirt edges sticking to the wound.” Jin explains patiently. “(Y/N), it’s fine. I’m literally a doctor. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

It’s interesting that despite the blood loss, you can turn that particular shade of red. 

“That doesn’t make it any better.” You mumble, even as you turn away and obediently unbutton your drenched shirt. 

“It doesn’t have to be the whole shirt.” He murmurs comfortingly, pulling out a strip of material from the medical kit. Ayla had told him that it’s hard to get bandaging material to stay in place for silky Psittanuran feathers, so they often enchant materials with a special adhesive. “Just enough that your shirt isn’t sticking to it. I need to clean it up because the last thing we need is you getting an infection.” 

You nod and drop your shirt enough to expose the left half of your upper back. Jin clears his throat awkwardly as he slides the thick strap of your sports bra out of the way and notes that it’s awfully warm in this little burrow. 

“I didn’t know they made hello kitty sports bras.” Jungkook observes from where he’s hovering off to the side. You whip your head around to glare at him. 

“Get OUT!” You snap. He holds his hands up. 

“But you need me! What if Jin starts enjoying himself? You know how he feels about hello kitty-“ the empty coagulant vial being launched at him by your good arm is the only prompting Jungkook needs to go keep watch outside. 

Which leaves you and Jin alone. The air feels thick and sluggish in the burrow as Jin works cleaning off the wound and applying the bandage. You’ve gone quiet- whether from exhaustion or pain, it’s hard to tell, but Jin has to help you tug your shirt back into place when he finally finishes. 

He crawls over to your hello kitty bag and pulls out your water bottle. 

“Why’d you do it?” He asks quietly as you take a long drink from your bottle. You don’t answer for a long time, but finally you drop the bottle. 

“I told you. My body moved on its own.” You offer. 

“Exactly. Why?” He asks, and he doesn’t mean for so much anger to leech into his tone. It’s just, he feels like the stress and fear and agony of the past week catching up to him and he doesn’t know how to deal with it other than being angry. Angry at you, for deciding to go on this journey in the first place. Angry at this realm for taking your father’s life. Angry at himself, for being pathetic enough to have to constantly be protected and saved by you. 

But most of all, angry that your first instinct in danger is to disregard your own life in exchange for his own. He doesn’t even know what answer he’s looking for- that you love him? That it’s just instinct to save people? Neither answer would be particularly comforting.

“I don’t know.” You retort, and your tone is defensive in response to his barely concealed anger. “What do you want me to say, Jin? I heard the arrow coming and I didn’t exactly have time to think.”

“Exactly! That’s your problem!” He cries. “You never think! You only ever act! What would I have done, if your wound had been more serious? Have you ever once stopped to think about how that sort of thing affects me? How it feels to know you’re constantly doing things like fighting armed robbers and getting into fights and treating your life like it’s a piece of garbage to be thrown away without a thought?”

“That’s not what I-“ you protest, but Jin cuts you off. 

“What if you had died? What if I had lost you? What would I be supposed to do?” He cries, and he surprises himself when his voice catches. 

You go silent. Your words have been lost.

It actually reminds you of when Jin first caught you sneaking over to this realm. That fight seems like a lifetime ago, and he had scolded you for similar recklessness then. But strangely, it feels different. The look in Jin’s eyes is different. He’s... He’s not angry, you realise. He’s scared. 

He flinches when the hand of your uninjured arm lands on his forearm. You watch him curiously, your movements cautious as though you are approaching a scared animal. He certainly feels like one. 

Slowly, you slide your hand up his arm until you can hook your arm around the back of his neck and pull him into an awkward hug. It’s a little weird- you kind of have to awkwardly straddle him to properly hug him in the limited space, and he is still an unmoving like a wooden board. 

“It’s the same for me.” You answer softly. “I can’t lose you. I’m sorry- I didn’t have time to stop and think but I’ll never stop and think when your life is in danger.” You pull away to meet his gaze. “I’ll always just act. You’ll just have to get used to that.”

Jin is silent, as he stares up at you. A weird feeling overcomes him, at your proximity. It’s warm and overwhelming. And, if he’s being honest, it scares him a little with the intensity of it. Like, if he were to pull you downwards and hold you tight, nothing would ever go wrong again. It’s not entirely unfamiliar, but at the same time he’s certain he’s never felt like this in his entire life. 

“See I told you! It’s the hello kitty! He can’t resist!” Jin startles at the sound of Jungkook’s voice and you scramble off him like he’s burned you. He tries not to dwell on the fact that he instantly misses the warmth of your body. Suddenly the burrow feels too cold. 

Jungkook tuts and shakes his head. 

“See, good thing I came in here. Who knows what kind of stunt lover boy would have pulled?” He scolds. “Anyway, I think you’ve had enough time to recover. I guarantee you the Saishta’s are hunting for us as we speak and so we better get a move on.” 

You nod, adjusting your clothes awkwardly and gathering your things. 

Jin follows suit, almost robotically. He can’t shake the feeling that something huge just happened, but he doesn’t know what. 

But his stomach churns because there’s one thing he knows for sure: He can’t lose you. He’s so, so afraid.

[ketsuyuki-hibana-typed]

Ever since I know the fact that Sanemi seriously drunk on that respect women juice, I become deeply fall in love onto his character.

Also, I really respect to women who patiently carrying other life inside their bellies. I loved it when women get the attention they needed when they are pregnant. Patients hubby! Patients!

Shinazugawa Sanemi x Pregnant!Reader

(Warning: NSFWish; Sex Mention)

Sanemi has just came home in the morning after night mission when he heard rattling and choking sound from the bathroom.

He rushed to the bathroom, grabbing his sword in case it's a demon who attacked you.

It's not, he found you holding your body into the sink while panting. You covered your mouth, keeping the urge to vomit.

"(y/n)!"

"Sane- mi- It's okay, I'm just di-" Your voice was cut of with another vomits.

Sanemi was panicked, without thinking twice, he ran to bedroom, snatching his other big white haori and came back to you.

He wrapped you in his haori, carrying you out to Butterfly Estate.

"Hang on!"

When he arrived, the medic staff immediately took you off from him or else, he wouldn't stop shouting to them.

"Wind Pillar, your wife is in good hand now, let us take care of your wounds first. You've just came back from mission."

"Until I got good news from my wife, I'm not going anywhere."

"We know, but-"

"Shinazugawa-san." Shinobu took the lead, signing them to leave both of you. They nodded. "Your wife is in good condition, the symptoms are all natural."

"Symptoms? Natural?"

"Please prepare yourself because you'll become a father soon." Shinobu smiled and left, going back to your ward.

"I'm- a father?"

Shinobu escorted you out from the ward. But, she's not telling you that you're pregnant.

So when you discovered Sanemi on his knees, you immediately become confused and looked back at Shinobu.

She let out brightest smile and tapped your shoulder. "Take care the baby inside your belly, ok? Don't forget to consult here, twice a month. I'll leave you two alone."

You stumbled upon hearing that, before trembling and looked at your husband.

Sanemi suddenly stood up, and hugged you. You just realized that he's crying, his tears were dropping on your shoulder.

"I'm glad nothing happened to you."

"Sanemi, I'm pregnant." You whispered softly right at his ear. "I'm pregnant."

"I know." He tightened his hug.

When the news spreads amongst the Demon Slayer Corps, they all were in shock especially the Pillars.

Sanemi told them that both of you hasn't plan on having a child after married, not until both of you retired.

"Shinazugawa, do you have some sort of breeding kink or-"

"Talk again and I'll make sure to cut that tongue off from your mouth, Uzui."

Sanemi promised he will be a good husband, promised that what happened to his mother and his siblings will never happen to you.

He didn't want to be like his father. His mind was still fresh when he saw his father beated his mom, even when she still carrying Genya inside her womb.

No, not gonna happen to you.

When he's about to went out for mission, he will give you long lecture on how you should rest and didn't do anything stupid while he gone.

"Don't forget to eat. Don't walk around too much. No training, let those kids train by themselves. Call Shinobu if you need something, also.... probably Genya. Just call him."

"It's first trisemester, Sanemi. I'm sure I'll be fine."

"First trisemester is the most critical state." He kissed you on your temple. "I don't want anything happen to you and the baby."

But it's not you if it's not stubborn. You continued to train your students, quietly accepting mission when he was out.

And it affects to your second semester.

It all started when you casually doing chores and suddenly collapsed. You're lucky because your husband was nearby and was in time to caught you before you hit the ground.

"Did... Did you do heavy activities like jumping?"

"Um, I-" You hesitantly looked at your husband, and turned again to Shinobu's face. It's too late to lie now. "Yes, yes I did."

The Insect Pillar lets out long sighs and said, "You shouldn't do that. It's fortunate that your action, whatever it is, didn't result with miscarriage. I want you to be careful from now on. Collapsing might be continued, so please take care of your body."

Sanemi must be so disappointed. You silently walked behind him on the way on your home.

"What do you want? I'll cook for you."

"E- Eh?" You blinked in disbelief. "You- You're not ang- oww!"

"Of course I am!" He pinched both of your cheek, irk mark slowly appeared from his forehead. "But... Half of them is my fault though..."

You grabbed his hand, tilting your head. "No? It's not?"

"I left you when you needed me the most." He sighed and put his palm on your head. "I should be here with you, not going on mission. I understand it's hard." You unconsciously patted his chest, feeling more guilty for making him worry.

Sanemi wasn't so clueless. He knew how to handle pregnant woman from his experience taking care of his mother.

Ever since Sanemi knew you were gone for short mission while he went out for mission too, he ordered Genya to monitor you.

Genya didn't mind, not a little bit. He gradually checked you, escorted you to Butterfly Estate, and always stood by your side whenever you need him

"Genya, thank you so much for your help." You sat down on the engawa, he borrowed your kitchen and make teas.

"It's okay. I was so happy when Aniki told me to take care of you. Well, although his tone was more like ordering than asking, but I know his intent is good." Genya joined you, slowly pouring the tea into your cup.

"I'm so sorry. I will scold him when he came back home."

"Ane-san." He flashed his bright smile. "You were the one who make us being 'a siblings' once again. This is how I thanked you."

You gently placed your hand on your stomach, while looking at him. "The baby was excited after you said that." He chuckled.

"I hope you're always healthy, Ane-san. Aniki really loves you."

Sanemi might be not that kind but he always listened to your carvings.

Even though it's weird ones.

"Mitarashi dango but with miso soup." "Baked snack but I just want the head."

"What the hell is that." But he will make extra effort for it, making sure that it's edible for your mouth.

"Sanemi, your crow looks good too."

"WHAT, NO-"

Or-

"Sanemi, I don't know why but I just wanted to smack you right now."

"With lips, su-"

"No, with-" *SLAP* "My hands."

"WHAT THE- HEY STOP, YOU'RE ABUSING FUTURE FATHER!"

Sometimes, it's all about mood swings.

"Hey, I'll go to run groceries. What do you want."

"Nothing."

"Why are you suddenly become shy like this? You usually shout to me to buy you oden at 3 fuxking a.m."

"Shush, language."

He didn't know both of you still could have sex until Shinobu told him even though you're pregnant, but Sanemi isn't risking it. For this 9 months or more, he'll be patient. Your health and happiness are his priority.

"I was thinking about second child."

"No, we won't talk about it until you deliver the baby safely."

"You're right." You pouted and slammed your head at his arm. "I wonder if my stomach will stretch, leaving marks here and there on my hip area. Maybe, when we had sex, the mood will suddenly turn off because-"

"Well, I never said that I'm not into scar or marks." Sanemi turned his head, smirking. Your face reddened, your hand playfully smacked his head.

"Pervert." Suddenly, you felt your baby 'trying' to break free.

You guided his hand. Sanemi fidgeted, slowly touched your big belly. He could feel small bulge kicking his palm. He became excited, and put his ear on your stomach.

The beats, he could sense it. The baby will be fine.

"We will raise the baby, together."

Sanemi really hoped everything going smooth when you finally stepped on the last semester.

He worked hard on everything, providing your food, extra small futon, the clothes, checking you up gradually and else.

But not all things are according to his plans.

Oyakata-sama suddenly gave you and Sanemi a mission.

"I'm afraid that my wife will have trouble to move anywhere and will detain this mission."

"I want her to rest too, Sanemi. I know it's hard to bring the baby, but I don't have any choice. (y/n)'s ability is the only hope to solve this problem."

Can't they wait until his wife safely giving birth?

Of course not.

With one heavy sighs, he finally accepted Oyakata's request. When he told you about the details, you said that he didn't need to worry.

The mission completed without a single stretch landed on your body because he really protected you.

But, you suddenly sat down on the ground, holding your stomach, panting heavily

"Sa- Sanemi. I-" He looked at you in horror. Blood started to gushing out down there. He quickly carried you out from the forest, took you to the nearest town that hopefully has doctor or better, maternity clinic.

Luckily, he found one. He rushed inside and told everything about your condition to anyone who in charge. His voice still sounded panicking but he managed to compose himself. The staffs said that he could wait outside and quickly took lead of your body.

Sanemi sat down on the engawa with mixed feelings. He prepared for the best, and the worst. He gripped his sword, feeling more than ready to slash anything who disturbed his wife.

But he can't concentrate.

It's strange place, strange people he didn't familiar with. If he could be so honest, he didn't want you to deliver your baby here. He can't completely trust them to take care of you, he want you to safely giving birth in Butterfly Estate because at least, he knew you're in good hand.

He heard you screaming and groaning in pain, he had to stay calm and regained his sanity to stay focus. If he wants, he wanted to hold your hands and encouraging you, telling that everything will be fine. But he can't just barge in, you needed him to be your guard in case something bad happens.

And those anxieties were suddenly gone when he heard cries of a baby.

He ran inside, still gripping his sword. He saw his baby, both of your baby.

"Congratulations, Shinazugawa-san. It's a boy!!" One of the staffs was handing him his baby. He dropped his sword, tremblingly embrace his child onto his chest.

But his happiness quickly distracted when he can't find you anywhere in this room.

"Where is my-"

"Doc! We need your help, her body temperature rapidly decreased!!"

His heart skipped a beat. He tightened his grip on his son.

"Shinazugawa-san-"

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY WIFE?!"

"Please calm down. I promised I'll save her. Your baby needed skin contact, please keep him warm."

"I WILL-"

"No, please stay here. Keep the skin contact with your baby, I'll be back soon." The doctor ran back to another room, shutting the door behind him.

Sanemi was alone in that room, with his son in his embrace, still crying. He kissed his temple, wrapping the fabric around him to make him more warm.

He sat down, sagged his back on the wall.

Busy to mumbling prayers on his baby's ears while crying.

..........

It was 3 months ago, now you're in the house, carrying your baby while sitting down on the futon.

Sanemi peeked up from the bedroom door, you nodded, signed him 'It's okay, he's sleeping now.'

"How's your body." He kissed your forehead, his fingers slowly rubbed circle on his son's cheek. The child quirked a soft smile, still sleeping peacefully.

"I'm all good. Thanks to Shinobu. If she didn't come that night, maybe I will not-"

"Gaaa!! Hehe!"

Both of you suddenly heard happy gurgling down there. The child woke up. Sanemi looked at you, feeling a little guilty because his voice woke him up after you finally made him sleep. You just chuckled and kissed your baby.

Sanemi's fingers traveled around his son's, wiggling them while smiling. His child's laugh echoed thorough the room, heard like angel's symphony to him.

He hugged you along with his baby.

"Sanemi?"

This is his treasure and happiness now. He will never lose it, he will never give up on raising his child, - or maybe soon, children -, he will always protect his little family, his own pearl.

"Thank you for everything you bring to my life."

[clownattack]

Castor - character bio

I’ve been struggling with getting a bio out for Cas for waaaaay too long now, but i feel pretty ok with how it looks currently - i'm going to repost it on my art blog with some drawings of Cas and Hjalle in the future (hopefully). If you want to skip most of the nonsense and just get a feel for her personality, the section under the bio paragraphs is FULL OF POINTS.

links to drawn refs here and here

Longpost under the cut

✦ Early life in Hjalle:

Being born into the noble family Aran, Castor’s early life consisted mostly of being pampered by the attendants and strict education. Cas was a rowdy kid, and with time, lack of affection and validation from her family served to amplify the trait - she went from occasionally disobedient to full-on antagonistic towards her parents, and the nobility as a whole. She began to sneak out; spending her time outside of the Fort, spying on the guards and trying to bribe knights into taking her on as a page.

When Cas turned nine a sibling came into the picture, and she made it her duty to assure Aster’s upbringing would be better than hers. She poured everything she had into Aster, but soon developed a brash and overbearing streak, unyielding in her focus to teach the meek little sister to stand her ground. Aster became torn between Cas and the parents, who in all fairness, treated her much better than their firstborn. This would remain the case until Castor’s dragon-induced injuries.

In her late teens, Cas was seldom seen in the fort - to everyone's great relief. Her mood was always sour, she gave up on her studies and only seemed to care about Aster and joining the hunting parties. Her parents reached their limit when Castor announced she would not become one of the renowned judges of House Aran - this led to an explosive argument, which concluded with Castor storming out. For the following two years, she lived and worked with rangers tasked with protecting and providing for the town.

It was in those years that Cas acquired her battle prowess and scars, the most prominent being a gift from an especially large and angry dragon. A single swipe of its tail tore Castor’s chest and forearm open, forcing the hunting party to rush her to the fort in (what the hunters expected to be) a futile attempt to get her family to provide medical help for their dying kin. The reception was cold indeed, and if it weren’t for Aster’s hysterics and outrage over her family’s indifference, Cas would have not survived the grievous wounds. The upside to this event was a new high tale to impress people with, and strengthening the bond between two sisters. The downside - Castor was now under her parent’s thumb. They made her accept the position of inquisitor; to make up for the hassle she caused them. Taking up the mantle turned Castor’s world upside down - not only would she have to work in close proximity to her father, but her dreams of being knighted were shattered, as inquisitorial duties stand in stark opposition to virtues of knighthood. As Inquisitor she was tasked with investigating and interrogating for the court - the latter, as Aran tradition had it, was extraordinarily bloody.

 ✦ Vesuvia:

Almost as soon as she arrived, the city sparked something in Cas. This was unexpected to say the least; she was certain the years of gruesome work as inquisitor numbed her to simple joys of life. The sights and sounds of Vesuvia however, made her eager to explore and see how everything ticked - and the more she saw the more she wished to remain in the city. After attending the Masquerade and becoming acquainted with Asra, Cas was prepared to do anything to stay - even if it meant sucking up to the Buffoon count and begging for a job. Lucio proved to be anything but opposed - he’d heard of the “bloody good shows” (pun intended) Castor was infamous for, and was eager to take her off her parents hands. This led to working parallel to the count and his court, but also enabled Cas to dabble in magic under Asra’s tutelage.

This slight betterment of Cas’ situation would not last long however, as The Red Plague took complete hold of the city mere months after she took up her residence in Vesuvia. After perishing, and being brought back by Asra, she very slowly regains certain memories and traits - her sister, love of astronomy, sword skills. She sneaks out, snoops, and is a handful overall; but Asra is happy to see Castor’s “new” self free of bitterness and pain.

After this point, the “game events” take place. I like to imagine Castor braving an amalgam of Nadia and Portia routes, with a fistful (or multiple) of courtier drama. Castor is tasked with an investigation, slowly  but surely unravelling how deep the corruption runs in Vesuvia, and how much of it can be attributed to the courtiers. The conclusion of her story focuses on first facing off against the court, then the Justice Arcana.

  ✦ Physical appearance

Light olive skin, she picks up a slight tan in Vesuvia.

Dark gray eyes, striking marbling on the iris.

Long girl - 176 cm tall, loves being the “tall friend” (and manhandling people close to her). Being taller than her is taken as an indirect challenge.

She has a rectangular body type, could be described as a “runner’s body”.

Prominent scarring across right forearm and torso, missing right breast.

Tastefully disheveled. Her hair has a constantly windswept quality, and the gray streaks seem to be especially unruly.

Inherited the “Aran silver” (early graying), she tries to ignore it. “The more you hide it, the more it shows”.

Secretly really bothered by the many similarities to her father. Avoids looking at herself too much, and whenever she does it feels like he’s looking back at her, judging.

Only ever smoothes herself over before important court meetings and social events. She doesn't know how makeup works, so before any party she asks Asra to sort her out. Cas looking prim is both a treat and a source of friendly jabs.

✦ Character traits

Power walking by default. This can be somewhat intimidating, and she won’t stop if someone is in her way - just put them to the side and continue.

Puts up a really convincing pretence of formality and refinement.

In actuality she finds this facade tiresome, and just wants to talk fast about battle/hunting feats or astronomy. Maybe show off her pyromancy.

Loves socializing, it recharges her batteries.

Dilligent worker.

Tends to overwork herself and neglect her relationships.

Often scatter minded and wanting to do too many things at one time.

Doesn’t appreciate people instigating physical contact or getting up in her face. She needs to prepare herself for it, or be the initiator.

Stubborn as a mule. Never knows when to stop pressing people.

Extremely callous at times.

Annoyingly overbearing

Most of this springs from a place of fear - things had a habit of getting worse whenever her family imposed decisions onto her. In her mind, if she’s the one holding the reins, everything will be better. And if something does fail - she will be the only one to blame.

Starting arguments comes much too easily to her, but she’s just as quick to introspect, and seek out the person she argued with to apologize and approach the issue in an appropriate manner.

Forgives easily

Eternally scoffing at astrology. She knows shes being bigoted, but at this point its almost like an inside joke between her and Asra. “Astrology? It's baby stuff. PSEUDOSCIENCE!” (she cries as she worries over her afternoon tarot reading and preparing pretty horoscopes for the Shop...)

A huge hypocrite at times. “Do as I say, not as I do” could easily be her motto.

Both the upright and reversed Knight of Swords card sums her character up perfectly.

✦ Occupation & Residency

Vesuvia:

Beginning of her story follows the game canon almost to a T - Cas lives with Asra in the Shop, and works there. It bores her to death, and she plays tricks on every customer just to entertain herself.

After being officially hired by Nadia as the Palace Magician, Castor moves out of the shop and purchases a modest house in Goldgrave, much below the value of what Nadia offered her, and what she could afford. It’s convenient and that’s what matters to Cas. She continues supplying the shop diligently, and takes over whenever Asra runs off.

Nadia insisted on Castor having an office in the palace. It grew on her with time, and after The Devil is dealt with it becomes her little “hub”.

Hjalle:

Cas lived with her family in the castle site until 17 years old.

After denying her parents their plans for her future as a judge, she hunkered down in a hunting lodge outside of the town, and spent almost two years living that way - she still thinks of these two years as the most joyous time in her life.

The only thing she ever used her family’s wealth for was commissioning the construction of an extravagant observatory. Reminiscent of a gothic fortress, the stark exterior is contrasted with insides filled with artwork and art-nouveau ornaments. The central chamber is a vast library with a powerful telescope in its apse - it is a sight that could take the breath of the most haughty of nobles.

There’s a tiny living space below the main chamber, furnished sparingly, but with a lovely fireplace (in Hjalle, its a necessity). It’s where Cas stays after becoming the inquisitor/whenever she visits after the in-game events.

✦ Trivia

Cas is 23 years old when she first arrives to Vesuvia - 28 at the time of The Devil’s downfall.

She freed Merlin from a merchant’s cage in the Red Market, during one of her outings in the three year interlude after her death - Asra fumes after they find out she snuck out to the market - yet is amazed that Cas found a familiar.

Cas regained her first memories via touching objects linked to her past life - a letter from Aster, articles of clothing, a sword...

This self re-discovering takes a turn for the worse when Cas finally finds a large, ornate knife - the one she inherited after becoming inquisitor. The memories it resurfaces are a staggering blow to Castor, completely derailing the beliefs she had about her own person. She thought of herself as a paragon, and remembering the torture she inflicted upon others, the lives taken in the name of “justice” made her relapse into bitterness and disenchantment. She deals with those feelings as her investigation into the courtiers progresses.

Predominantly uses pyromancy, other types of magic are strictly used for her work at the palace, and rather sparingly.

Could be best described as a battlemage - enjoys being in melee range and assaulting her quarry with both sword and fire; the latter being used more as a way to distract or stagger the enemy than actually harm. There's no fun in just burning them up!

Doesn’t cook for herself, although she has a natural knack for it - will only cook for guests and short people.

Her dislike of Lucio clashes with gratitude for employing her when she first arrived to Vesuvia - he was the knife which cut Cas off from her parents, and it’s something she could never forget.

Demiromatic/sexual.

She was offered to be knighted by Nadia after defeating The Devil. Cas declined - It’s much more than a title to her, and accepting seemed like mockery (considering her past as inquisitor).

Short fuse, she learns to better control herself while working in the palace. But if someone really pushes her the nearby candles miiiight get a bit out of control. Or she’ll just throttle them.

Hates her full name - Castor is such a mouthful. Sounds stuck up too...

[queenof-literature]

Hey! Your writing is superb! May I request angsty Time being scared out of his wits by Wild and Twi being reckless in dangerous situations?

Hi thank you for the request and the kind words! I’m so sorry for the slow updates I hope you enjoy!

At this point in his life, Time expected the unexpected. Time travel? Fine. Magic masks with spirits trapped inside? Okay. Meeting his descendant? That sent him for a loop but he supposed it made sense when looking at the big picture. Coming to be the leader of eight boys who gave him at least one heart attack a day? Even he still got stumped when he thought too much about it.  

It was his protege and his protege’s protege that truly scared him more than anything. He cared for all his companions more than anything, and felt personally responsible for every single one of them. They were all loving in their own ways, and selfless and kind. 

But there was just something about Twilight and Wild. He knew that with Twilight it was because they were family. Not just by bond like with the others, but by blood as well. He supposed that with Wild, it was because his pup and taken him on as a protege. 

No matter how it ended up this way, these boys made his heart stop far more than was healthy. 

Wild wasn’t anywhere near stupid or incompetent, but his name fit him perfectly. He was untamed and although he cared deeply for his Hyrule and loved his Zelda, he was a free spirit. A free spirit who jumped off cliffs, dived into water for Korok seeds, rode deer and bears, and was overall a ‘feral gremlin who should not be allowed near fire’ as Legend put it. Wild always made sure to serve everyone dinner before himself, sleep with the rest of them even though Time knew he was used to sleeping in the huge trees of his Hyrule, and put up a huge fight about having a bed when others in the group didn’t at stables and inns. 

Twilight thought that Wild was bad in the pushing himself too hard department, Time always failed to see how Twilight was any different. The amount of trips Time had taken to trek into the woods and drag Wolfie back from scouting was astounding. Time would have to force him to go to bed when one of the others was injured, especially the younglings of their group. That’s just how Twilight and Wild were. And he loved them both for it. 

It was Malon who taught him after the Kokiri that love hurt sometimes, but it was worth it. It hurt, but the moments of happiness helped make life what it was. 

He had dreams sometimes. Simple dreams of the boys spending time on the ranch, sometimes with their loved ones from their worlds. after their quest. It left a bittersweet ache in his chest everytime. 

Time found himself praying for the first time in so long, that it would all come true. That he and his new family would not be separated forever. He wouldn’t let Hylia do that to these boys. Not after all they had been through alone and together. He would keep them alive, and he would keep them safe.

Although Twilight and Wild were certainly making that difficult. Pushing each other out of the way of danger, taking hits for the others, as far as Time was concerned neither of them could bitch about the other being too reckless. They had calmed down slightly after Time had talked to them, but they were still reckless in protecting the others.

They had been separated in the middle of the night. Again. At this point Time wasn’t sure if Hylia had any control on where they went, because separating them was a surefire way to get them all killed. Time was completely alone in a wasteland covered in snow. He didn’t know what Hyrule, he didn’t think it was anyone’s in the group. All he knew was he hadn’t seen a trace of the others yet. He hoped beyond anything they were in groups and safe. Whenever they were separated, they would usually at least end up in the same area or kingdom. This was convenient most days, but now Time was desperately worried the others were stuck in this weather and far worse off than he was. Time at least had his bag, the others might have been separated from theirs. It had happened in the past. They were sucked into a portal and separated without their bags. It turned out that all the bags had gone with Hyrule and Four. Their stuff was always around at least one person, sometimes those people just got mixed up. Epona somehow always ended up safe somewhere, something they all were extremely grateful for.  

Time continued to stumble along in the deep snow. His bag fortunately had some things to keep him warm. Not enough to stave off the cold completely, but he had some coats and a pair of pants to at least help him continue on. The best option with him being alone was to find some shelter, start a fire, and hope the Master Sword would lead Sky to everyone. He had seen what looked to be a cave etched in a small mountain. He would search for the boys until he physically couldn’t anymore, then take a break in the hopefully animal free cave. 

Time stopped. He heard something, he swore he did. He listened more carefully. There it was again! He couldn’t tell what it was yet, but he cautiously moved towards that direction whilst unsheathing his sword in case it was an animal of some sort. Once he got further, he noticed a speck in the distance. Soon enough, he noticed the speck was a creature of some sort. Growing closer still, Time’s heart leapt in hearing the sound again, louder now.

“-body!” The rough cry was drowned out by the cold winds. Time rushed as fast as he could towards the now confirmed Hylians in the distance. The first thing he noticed when growing closer was that the two figures were stumbling through the snow, leaning against each other, desperate for balance. The second thing he noticed was his protege’s fur wrapped around the taller figure. The third was the shorter figure’s long blonde hair. 

“Pup! Cub!” Time shouted, finally close enough to see their faces. Both faces were as pale as the snow below them, bodies quivering and shaking. Twilight was leaning heavily on Wild, unfocused eyes opening only once in a while, although he looked relieved to see Time. Looking down, Time’s heart stopped once again at his pup’s bent ankle he could see even through the man’s boot. Wild’s wide and frantic eyes landed on Time, brain finally realizing who was there.

“Time!” Wild cried out in relief. Looking at the cub, Time noticed he was missing his cloak, realizing it was peeking out from under Twilight’s pelt. Wild himself looked awful as well. Dull blue eyes stood out even more against his sickly pale skin and deep dark bags from exhaustion. When they went to bed last night, Wild was wearing a thin shirt with short sleeves to counteract the slightly hotter region they were in. Wild’s bare arms clutched desperately to keep his mentor standing. Wild’s legs shook under the weight and stress his and the pup’s bodies were under. Both boys were soaked to the bone. 

“What happened?” Time asked hurriedly, rushing forward to help support his protege. Upon putting one of Twilight’s arms over his shoulder, Time saw the cut on the back of Twilight’s head. It was bleeding substantially, but head wounds did that most of the time. It didn’t seem overly deep. Wild’s back, however, was a whole other story. The cub had deep slash marks across the whole of his back, the backside of his shirt was covered completely in blood around the holes. 

“We l-landed near a-a river.” Wild stuttered out, slurring his words together slightly. “A-a beast, I d-don’t know what it was.” Wild struggled to get his words out between the cold and the bloodloss. “It… it p-pushed me in. Twilight broke his a-ankle. Don’t know… what h-happened. P-pulled me out. Hit his head… I-I-” Wild trailed off more and more, eyes becoming unfocused by the blood loss by the second. Time needed to get them back to the cave. Right now. 

“Help me get him on my back.” Time demanded in a strong voice, hopefully covering his fear for his boys. Wild’s weak and shaking hands tried to help, but Time did most of the work getting his pup situated. Time wished more than anything in that moment he could carry both boys to the cave, but together they were both too heavy. Time wasn’t sure Twilight even knew what was happening with that head injury of his, not even mentioning how awful his ankle looked, so he was the one that had to be carried. Twilight was pure muscle. Time guided Wild’s hand to his shoulder that didn’t have Twilight’s head on it to provide at least a little support.. “There’s a cave not far from here. Just a little further, Cub.” Time encouraged as they kept walking. 

Time thanked every God there was that Twilight and Wild were still shivering. They weren’t in the far stages of hypothermia yet, but they certainly weren’t out of the woods. 

The trek back to the cave was much slower than Time appreciated with two injured Links that severely needed medical attention. Time went as fast as he could with a protege on his back and snow up to his knees. Glancing at Wild once again, once frantic eyes had become complacent as Wild shuffled along. It seemed Wild was keeping himself going on mere adrenaline before, desperate to get his mentor some help. Time was supporting as much of Wild’s weight as he could, but the boy was still trying to walk almost completely on his own. He tried to hide it, but Time could see the slow oozing of blood on Wild’s twitching back. 

Finally, Time could see the cave’s opening in the distance. Wild had slowed down to the point of looking half asleep, and Twilight’s hold had tightened over the journey. Wild stumbled again, hand slipping from Time’s shoulder as he fell into the snow. 

“Come on, Cub, only a little more to go.” Time leaned down as much as he could and pulled Wild to his feet. “Look, it’s right there.” Time’s hand guided Wild’s chin to the opening of the cave. Normally the boy would rush towards their new shelter and start preparing a fire, excited to cook their meal. Now though, Wild’s dim eyes just lit up in recognition for a moment, before shifting over to check on Twilight once more, just as he had been the entire trip over here. 

Finally, after their long trek, they made it to the mouth of the cave. It was relatively shallow for a natural cave in a mountain. Time could see the back of the cave clearly from where he was standing. There were thankfully no creatures within that would harm them. Time gently crouched down and deposited the pup against the wall. Twilight groaned softly and Time felt a pang in his heart. 

“P-p-otions?” Wild murmured, sitting next to Twilight’s ankle. 

“No, Cub. I’m sorry. We really have to pack at least one in all our bags, yeah?” Time joked wryly. 

“B-bandage?” Wild asked, gesturing to Twilight’s ankle. Time rolled his eye. 

“That we do have, but you’re laying down.” Time ordered sternly. Wild and Twilight would ignore their wounds for days if it meant putting the group first. Wild huffed, but did as he was told with no argument. Now that had Time worried. Wild bit back a whimper as his back stretched, before finally settling on his stomach, still aggressively shivering.

“Why did you give Twilight your cloak?” Time asked, taking an extra coat from his bag to drape over the boy. 

“H-he… wasn’t responding. His head. I could r-rub m’ hands together n’ stuff. He couldn’t.” Time sighed, hating how right the cub was. He stayed quiet. Not wanting to lecture Wild for protecting his brother, but not wanting to exactly say it was okay to give up his cloak either. Time reached to lift the coat and take care of Wild’s back. The sooner he was able to cocoon the boys in anything warm they had, the sooner they would hopefully thaw out. 

“Him first.” Wild slurred, not even having the energy to open his eyes.

“Wil-” Time began to lecture.

“No. H-his ankle. Bone needs to heal right. And head wound. M’ fine.” No matter how nervous Wild’s injury and lack of coherent words scared him, Time knew he was right about Twi’s injuries. 

“Don’t fall asleep yet. We need to get you warm first.” Wild hummed in confirmation of Time’s order, which was probably the best he was going to get. Time gently laid the coat back on Wild, trying to ignore the hiss as the fabric brushed against the wound on his back, before turning back to his pale protege. 

Twilight’s bones thankfully hadn’t shifted enough to require his ankle to be set, so Time just steadied it with a tight bandage. Twilight whimpered and winced at the manhandling of his injured ankle. 

“Sorry, Pup. Almost done.” Time reassured the younger. Time wanted more than anything to take Twi’s pain away in that instant. Getting a monster club to the chest was less painful than seeing one of these boys hurt from their quest. Satisfied with his work on Twi’s ankle, he moved on to his head. The wound was just as minor as he thought, just requiring a bandage and good cleaning for now. It was enough to do him in if he was alone out here, but now he would just need sleep and potions. Thank Hylia Wild was with him… Wild! He needed to stay awake!

Time hastily finished checking his pup’s injuries, deeming him out of the woods for now. Time whipped around to face Wild, still laying with his back facing the cave ceiling. His eyes were still closed, and his breathing was still uneven as shivers wracked his body. 

“Wild? Wild you’re still awake yeah?” Time asked in a steady voice, not even being met with a noise from the boy. “Wild? Wild!” Time snapped louder. The body beneath him jumped slightly, a noise of indignation rising up. It was then Time noticed Wild’s hand tucked underneath him. 

“Wild, let me see your hand.” Time demanded. Wild either didn't hear him or didn’t listen. “Wild, Cub, I need to see your hands.” Time said far gentler, reaching under Wild’s body to grab one of his hands. Instantly, Time felt his own hand grow colder, even under his gloves. Wild groaned at the loss of support under him that caused his back to twitch. 

Looking at Wild’s hands, Time was struck with the realization that Wild wasn’t wearing any gloves. How could he have not noticed? Internally Time was yelling at himself for being so foolish. Glancing over at Twilight, Time barely resisted the urge to bang his head on the cave wall. Idiots! Both of them! He recognized the dyed blue edge of Wild’s warmest gloves. Why were they even out without Wild’s slate? How? Time resisted the urge to groan in frustration. He would have to ask Wild later. 

“Why did you give Twilight your gloves?” Time almost yelled in frustration. 

“Coun’n stop fross-frosbite like m’. Needed gloves.” Time rolled his eye.

“Awful, the both of you. You’re the same person I swear to Hylia!” Time staed gruffly. “I need to move you to take care of your back, then we’re taking care of your hands. I have an extra pair of gloves in my bag.” Time explained, pulling Wild’s upper half into his lap as gently as he could. Time winced at the groan Wild let out against his will.

“Cub?” Twilight murmured, bleary eyes opening a sliver. 

“He’s fine, pup. I’m taking care of him now.” Time reassured him, reaching out and placing a hand on his protege’s forehead, the way he did when Twilight was hurt or feeling under the weather. It always helped to relax him. 

“Needs me?” Twilight struggled and fought to stay awake.

“No, Twi. Wild is fine. Just needs some bandages and warmth. Everythings okay.” Twilight let out a hum and finally succumbed into sleep once more. If Time said it was okay, it was okay. 

Time began to bandage Wild’s wound, managing to clean it with the few supplies he had, at least until the others found them. Wild tried to hold in his shivers and hisses of pain as Time cleaned and wrapped his wound. Finally, the wound was dressed.

“Okay Wild. We need to get you warm again.” Time stated softly before lifting Wild into a sitting position. Wild let out a low grunt of pain shaking hands twitching in the direction of his back. “Sorry bud. Almost there, then we can get you warm and you can rest.” Time picked up the spare coat and wrapped Wild carefully and tightly within it. Wild finally seemed able to relax, snuggling closer to the warm fabric. Time felt his lips twitch as he carefully extracted Wild’s hands from within the coat, closing any gaps in the fabric this motion caused. 

Time rubbed Wild’s frozen hands within his own, creating friction and hopefully enough heat to prevent frostbite before he gave Wild his extra pair of gloves. ild winced slightly in pain before relaxing further into Time’s side. There was nothing Time could use to make a fire, so this would have to do.

“Wild. I need you to tell me the truth. Are your feet or toes or anything else cold?” Time questioned.

“No. Good boots.” Time huffed out a small sigh of relief. He knew Twilight had good boots for the snow, but with all of Wild’s items and what he wears and doesn’t wear around camp, it was hard to keep track.

“And your legs?” Time eyed the thin pants Wild wore, already knowing the answer.

“Fine…” Wild was an awful liar when he was out of it.

“Wild, I need both you boys warm while we wait for the others or there will be trouble later.” Time chided, causing Wild to huff.

“A little cold…” Wild murmured. Time huffed a small laugh before using one hand to reach into his bag and pull his last spare blanket. Time managed to wrangle it under the legs of Twilight and tuck it under the legs of Wild, sticking him in the middle. As much as he wished one of the boys were in the middle to receive the most warmth, he needed to have easy access to both of them to make sure they were warming properly. Falling asleep with a body that was too cold might lead to never waking up…

Time felt Wild’s hands again, deeming them warm enough to put into the gloves. He double checked that the boys were warm enough before wrapping an arm around both of them. Wild and Twilight curled further into him, breathing peacefully. Time made sure to stay awake, continuing to check the boys for shivering, frostbite, and any other signs of hypothermia. At some point the boys had locked hands over Time, as if assuring themselves the other was okay. These boys constantly gave him heart attacks by being reckless and putting others before themselves, but in this moment, Time knew they would be okay. 

Plot twist: Time is literally just as bad as Twilight and Wild and this entire fic is him being a hypocrite.  

[forkanna]

WARNING: Very N S F W. Includes sisterly incest, cunnilingus, anal play, tickling, foot worship, and as you probably expected... food kink.

Notes: HAPPY CORONATION DAY! I've been hanging onto this since I posted chapter 5 both because I wanted to make sure it was just right, and I thought it deserved to be released on an important day in the fandom's history: the date Elsa was crowned Queen of Arendelle in 1844. (We know this thanks to some smart cookies on Reddit haha)

So I know this should technically be from Elsa's POV if I continued to follow the convention I set up for myself, but I decided to keep writing it as Anna. It's been her story from the beginning and it should end as her story. Plus it's an epilogue, so it doesn't have to follow the rest of the fic's format! So there! AHAHAHAHA… I don't know, I'm tired.

And YES, this is the end. No sequels, no Epilogues-To-Epilogues; the MSB grand finale. I know a lot of you may have not seen my mention of an epilogue in the notes for last chapter, so hopefully you'll see this! If any of you want to continue Elsa and Anna's story in your own spinoff fanfics, be my guest (but please credit me); otherwise, I consider MSB to be at its natural ending. Hope you all enjoy the last slice!

In all seriousness, thanks to everyone who has waited this long for what is essentially a one-off smutty fic about D*sney sisters to be finished. I owe so much to this story; it changed my life in a very literal, very unexpected way. Elsa and Anna's true love thawed my jaded heart and encouraged me to keep writing, even when I was sank deep in the darkness of a miserable life, and to explore who I am in ways I never felt brave enough to do. I'm in such a better place now than when this began. It's been a pleasure being part of this fandom, and hopefully I will continue to enjoy it for a long time to come.

Until we meet again,

Jessex

[AO3] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

                                                 EPILOGUE

                              Min Søsters Bursdagsmadrass: Anna

                                         ~ Five Months Later ~

Okay, okay, not quite five months have passed since we saved our kingdom from my sister's magic. Closer to four-and-a-half. But the time has flown by so much that it feels more like a week.

Kristoff and Sven came galloping up to the gates just as we were exiting. The ice boy was a lot less shocked that I was arm-in-arm with Elsa than I expected; probably because he pretty much already caught us in flagrante delicto before. He tried to offer congratulations, and I gave him a big hug to cut through all that awkwardness.

Olaf showed up not long after. Well, we came across a puddle that used to be Olaf; I'd know that carrot nose anywhere. Before I could start sobbing, Elsa calmly created a little ice-flurry and rebuilt him as easy as if she were breathing; he was disoriented, but didn't take long to be back to his cheerful self, hugging us and congratulating us on figuring out that we belonged together. That made sense the more I thought about it. Seriously, why wouldn't our snow-baby always know his parents should stay together?

Naturally, there were a few people who came to the levee that didn't condone our love. I wish I could say differently. Most of them were either too afraid to speak out against us — probably because my sister was some kind of ice witch, that tends to make even the bravest of men need a change of underwear — or they were genuinely happy we were happy, and summer was back. But one or two tried to shame us. Didn't go well, considering we were the monarchy and surrounded by supporters. More insisted we needed a king, at the very least for the purpose of heirs. I tried to tell them that Olaf was our heir, which got a lot of weird looks, but Elsa insisted that it was our decision if and when we crossed that bridge. I guess that's why she's the queen, right? I mean, can you imagine me as the queen of Arendelle? No way!

Hans was tried and convicted of treason against the kingdom. I didn't even go; I didn't want to look at him again if I could help it. But I watched from the castle walls with my sister as they led him away to a ship bound for the Southern Isles. We figured his family would make sure the sentence was severe if they wanted to maintain a good trade partnership with Arendelle. Plus, we wouldn't have to deal with him still being in our home. Win-win.

We also shipped old Weaseltown out. He can peacock-strut and backstab on his own turf.

Everything flew by a lot faster after those first few days. Kristoff was our new icemaster general — totally a real title, thank you — and Olaf's cheery presence got everyone used to the idea of magic. The people slowly grew to accept that their queen had a queen of her own. At first, we tried not to be too open with our relationship, but even though everybody thinks of me as the free spirit, it was Elsa who decided we should begin taking walks through the kingdom, hand-in-hand. At first, we got a few stinkeyes, but little by little, they saw we were happy, and not hurting anyone with our taboo love, and… it just became normal, I guess.

Which is fantastic! I mean, if they didn't I would have bought a whole collection of lutes to start smacking them with, but that didn't turn out to be necessary. Good thing; a co-queen shouldn't brawl with her subjects. Looks kinda bad.

As we hit the middle of December and the weather was turning colder without my sister's influence, I started scheming. We had enjoyed four wonderful months of getting to know each other all over again. Even though I'm basically a big ball of libido, somehow Elsa convinced me that we shouldn't just start banging each other's brains out every day. How dare she! But I have to admit, having that sex-free courtship time was somehow a magic all its own.

Because we were behind. By thirteen years. I found out just how well-read my sister was, since she had ploughed through book after book when she wasn't trying to practice controlling her magic. That was something we had in common, since I was often equally bored; it turned out we had read a lot of the same books, and we could compare our thoughts and feelings about them over many, many cups of tea. She never did start talking to paintings like I did, but when I introduced them to her, at least she was bemusedly giggling behind her hand instead of openly mocking me, or telling me I needed medical attention. And we went horseback riding, and swimming, ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. Started going through our parents' things at last, painful though it was. Learned about the kind of adults we had become since we last knew each other as children.

And kissed, sure. Just because we didn't start rolling around in the bed sheets right away didn't mean I was going to let us be complete prudes.

However… my sister's birthday was fast approaching, and I knew I had to do something big. Maybe in a literal sense. So the scheming turned to plotting, and the plotting turned to planning. And then the plans got put in motion leading up to her big day.

                                                      ~ o ~

"Alright, alright, Olaf! I'm going!"

"Sorry, Elsa, but there's no time to waste!" I could hear him replying to her from the other side of the door. I could just barely see her slippered feet and his snow stumps through the crack underneath. So weird doing that from the inside this time… "I guess. I've never had a birthday, but Anna told me this is your biggest one yet, and we got a schedule to keep!"

"Okay, little guy," she laughed at him easily. Even though I couldn't see, I could just picture her petting over his head. "Thank you."

"Yep! And oh, I was supposed to do something else, it was… yeeeessss! Anna told me I should 'get lost for the rest of the day'. So I guess my question is, does that mean until sundown? Or midnight? And how lost do I have to get? I can get lost just in this castle, it's so big, but she was pointing at the gates when she said it…"

"Tell you what. Why don't you go pay Kristoff and Sven a visit? That should be far enough."

"But I won't be lost if I know where I'm going," he told her in a patient tone, as if she were the one who was missing something instead.

"My mistake," she laughed fondly. "Just have a little adventure outside of the castle and we will see you in the morning."

"Okie-dokie! Have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do! Or do, because you're not me, so you should be doing things I wouldn't do? Maybe? Especially if I'm going to be getting lost and you don't need to be lost. I don't know if that's exactly…"

He was still talking by the time his voice started to fade around the corner. The rest of the sentence was cut off by Elsa knocking on my door.

"Go away, Elsa," I called back at her in an exaggeratedly pouty tone.

"Anna," she sighed. "Yes, I know I was the one saying that to you for a decade of our lives, but this joke is starting to get a little old now."

"Whaaaaaat? No, I don't think so."

"It's officially old as of today. Now, may I come in, or will you be coming out?"

"Think we both already did that last part," I giggled. "Did you, um, prepare?"

"For the love of- yes! Though I don't know why, I let Gerda bathe me thoroughly, and now I am standing outside your door, scrubbed raw and regretting that I listened to her, because you are being a pain in the-"

She didn't finish that thought because I unlocked the door just then. But I didn't open it for her. I was too busy scampering across the floor of my chambers to stand by the bed, grinning from ear-to-ear like a loon. And don't judge, okay? I'd been planning this for a long time.

"Um…" The door creaked open, and one of her baby blues peered around the inside of the darkened room. The sun had already set, so it was only the moonlight and the single candle on my bedside table providing illumination. "A-Anna?"

"Please enter," I said in a pretentiously royal tone.

"Oh, your robe is like mine," she said with a small smile as she eased the door shut behind her.

"Yep! Silk, from the East! I mean, you fill yours out a little better — especially up top. But that's one of the gifts. And I figured, hey, might as well get one for me, too!"

Barely glancing down at the blue silk covering her sizable assets, she shook her head with a small laugh. "It's very nice, thank you. But I thought I told you I didn't want you to make a big deal about my birthday; we should be focused on the Yule festivities for the kingdo-"

"No, no, no," I teased her with a wave of my index finger, bouncing on my heels excitedly. "This is the first time in thirteen years I have been able to celebrate this with you. Give me this one, okay?"

"When can we stop saying the number thirteen and start really enjoying our lives again?"

"When it's been fourteen years. Now… can you take that robe off and hop up on the bed for me?"

Oh, that shrewd little smirk that blossomed on my sister's face. It was both breathtakingly beautiful and super sexy. She was all the time, anyway, but there were moments that it stood out a lot more. "Ahhhh. So that's what all this is about, is it? You think tonight we are going to break our courtship."

"Mmmmaybe. But even if we don't, I still want more with you tonight. If that's okay," I added hastily, fidgeting with my hands behind my back.

"I see." Elsa stepped forward to smooth her hands up and down the green silk covering my chest, teasing her fingernails over my neck. Definitely not making it any easier to stop my lady parts from launching a hostile takeover of my brain, I can tell you! "And… this is very important to you, isn't it?"

"Y-yeah." Clearing my throat, I said, "And I understand why courting was important to you. And it's been great! Really, I loved getting to know you all over again, and we have been having so much fun. But… maybe just a little playing tonight? Please?"

As she glared across into my eyes, I brought my thumb and forefinger up between our faces, half an inch apart. That was all it took to make her burst out laughing.

"That little, hmm?" she finally chuckled as my cheeks burned. "Okay. I assume once I am in position, you will tackle me on this bed?"

"Yeah. Well, not 'tackle', but I'll join you. I just want you to feel how soft it is first."

That got Elsa's eyebrows raising in slight surprise. "Soft, hm? Did you get yourself a new bed for my birthday?"

"I dunno, did I?" I gasped. Hoping my acting skills were at least good enough to hide how excited I was.

Not quite. But at least Elsa hadn't fully figured out my cunning scheme. She pointed at my face and hissed under her breath, "There had better not be anyone hiding in here."

"Hiding? Wait, why would I stick anybody else in here and then tell you to take off your clothes?"

"How should I know? Sometimes you have a really strange sense of humour, Anna."

"Not that strange! Surprise creepy people sounds plain old mean!" But before she could say anything else, I placed a hand over my heart and raised the other one. "I do hereby solemnly pledge that nobody is going to jump out of the wardrobe at you. Or anything else like that."

"Fine, I believe you," she laughed as she stepped from her slippers and let the silk fall from her shoulders, exposing her smooth, pale back. Even now that we had been going for walks and rides, she was still white as alabaster, despite the alternating tans and sunburns I had.

"Mmm…"

"Again, my birthday seems to be full of gifts for you," she accused playfully with a little glance over her shoulder at me as she approached the bed, moving to climb atop it. "Little pervAAAHHH?!"

SPLAT.

Nope, I definitely couldn't hold back anymore. I wrapped my arms around my middle and burst out into gales of laughter, shaking all over and trying my best not to fall down. "ELSA! Your face — you should see your face!"

"I'm- what is- ANNA!" my poor sister finally burst out as she slipped and slid everywhere, defiling all my hard work. "What is the meaning of this?! What IS this, where did- is this CAKE?!"

Cackling and bouncing up and down as I clapped my hands, I finally crowed, "YES! Isn't it incredible?! Doesn't it look just like my bed? I mean, it did before you jumped on it, but even still, the rest of it!"

God, she looked hilarious. I was laughing, but was doing my best not to actually point at Elsa while I did it. And anyone would have laughed; her face covered in so much chocolate and frosting, a huge chunk falling from her chin to splash onto her right breast even while she blinked at me in wonder. Never had our regal queen looked so un-regal.

"You… made… a bed-sized cake… just to play this prank on me." She scraped some of the frosting from her eyelids and flicked it away, turning slightly so she could kneel on the layers of confection. That only made me laugh so hard I snorted like a pig. "This is… I have no words. I literally have no words, I could never have anticipated this."

"Aww, don't be grumpy," I teased breathlessly as I got rid of my own robe, dropping it right next to hers. "Just because I got you good this time! You freaked out, it was the most amazing thing I've watched in my whole life!"

"Yes, well, the show is ov- Anna, what are you doing now? Don't tell me- are you going to jump into this cake with me?! That's insane!"

I hesitated. "Well… I was before you called it 'insane'…" But then I approached the edge of the bed, hands on my hips. No way was I going to chicken out that easily. "This wasn't just a prank. I really wanted to do this for you."

That finally got her to laugh, and when she started she found it hard to stop. I laughed with her, watching her slap her caked thigh a few times. But before I could join her on the bed, she suddenly breathed, "Insane… but beautiful. I've never seen a woman more lovely in the entire world."

My heart skipped over a beat, and I hoped she couldn't tell how hard my nipples were in the low light. "Ahhhhh, now you're just lying. We both know you own a mirror."

"Nice try," she laughed, biting her sugar-coated lip for a moment to weather my counter-compliment. Then she tilted her head slightly while asking, "Why? This is the strangest surprise I have ever received — and that includes that certain birthday of yours. But I can tell it means a lot to you, so could you help me…?"

Great. Now I had to actually face the music, and it was going to take a lot of exposing of feelings. So I took a deep breath before throwing my inhibitions to the wind... and letting my knees sink into the cake.

"That is so wrong," I groaned, feeling one of my eyes twitch.

"I know. But once you get used to it, it's… still wrong, but interesting." She was leaning slightly on one arm, moving her legs out to one side. Always so ladylike, even in a big mound of baked sweetness.

"So here it is," I sighed. "You and me, even when we were really little… chocolate was our soft spot. We could never resist it. And especially after my birthday, when we bonded over it again… I knew your birthday had to be something big, since I could finally celebrate it with you. Something that mattered to both of us. And fun! I thought fun was really important, too. Took me a while to figure out just how I wanted to do this, but once I had this idea, I just… I knew. This was the only thing that would be good enough."

Though she had been listening with a small smile, my last sentence wiped it away. Why? What did I say wrong? Her cake-slicked hand lifted to caress my cheek.

"Anna, anything would have been good enough. Even if this had turned out to be a normal bed, I would have been so happy. How much you spend, how much you plan these gifts, it's sweet but you don't have to go to so much trouble. Don't you know my favourite gift is you?"

My lips only got the chance to part very slightly — when she booped me. She booped my nose with frosting on that finger. The Queen of Arendelle, everybody.

"You little stinker." But her words kept me from retaliating. "You… you mean that, huh? That I'm enough?"

"I do." Her lips pecked mine. "You always have been. I'm just sorry I wasn't able to show you until these past few months. But now, I get to make up for lost time."

Sliding closer, I whispered, "Same here."

And that was as far as I could get before I was attacking her mouth. Elsa welcomed me gratefully, humming as she pulled my body closer. I knew she was getting cake all over me, but I had kind of resigned myself to that when I concocted this whole crazy scheme. Literally concocted.

Which was what she asked about next. "How long did this take to bake?"

"Oh, a couple of days. The trick was keeping the parts we already made fresh so they wouldn't spoil before we finished the rest of it. Kristoff helped me with that, grabbed me a few blocks of ice; normally I would ask you to do it with a little magic, but I mean, since it was a surprise for you that would have been pretty stupid."

"Yes, I suppose so," she giggled, rubbing her fingertips against each other experimentally. "Smooth frosting… buttercream?"

"Of course! And I wanted to add a bunch of berries, but then it wouldn't have looked like my bed, because I don't normally have a bunch of berries on it." While Elsa laughed again, I slipped my arms around her waist. "And yeah, I know you still think it's weird I wanted to be in a cake like this. Plus it's a big waste of food. But for just this one birthday, the first one since we reunited, I wanted to give you something so big it was literally all around us. Like we're part of the cake instead of just the other way around."

Her voice was so gentle and warm when she responded, "I believed you the first time, Anna. But thank you for elaborating. I love knowing how you think, how your mind works. My amazing, clever sister."

Again, we kissed, deeper and longer and with no inhibitions. We tried to restrain ourselves when we were out in public, of course, but alone in my room? Nobody looking over our shoulders? Free as wild horses.

By the time we came up for air, I was no longer the clean one because we had been rolling around in the cake-bed. Sure, I still felt guilty for putting the castle cooks through so much work just so we could wreck it, but at least Kristoff and I gave them a hand — and I gave them the day off once they were through. Anyway, basically the only places where chocolate and frosting hadn't accumulated multiple layers was our faces, because they were so close to each other that nothing could get in between them.

"Are we supposed to be eating any of this?" Elsa laughed, running her finger through some on my shoulder.

"Well, yeah. I wouldn't have done this if it was just for show; this might as well have been a big frosted mud pie." Then I held up…

"Anna, where could you possibly have been hiding that?!"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Elsa merely blinked at me for a few seconds until I caved. "Okay, I had it in my butt."

"What- that sounds incredibly painful!"

"No, no, I was just clenching my cheeks on the handle. Obviously! Like I used the handle outside your door that first time. Come on, do you really think anybody would stick the pointy part into anywhere that sensitive?"

"Well, it is you," she laughed as she reached for the fork. Our fork. "Though I suppose I admire the control you have over your muscles back there." Then she hesitated, her brow furrowing. I could figure out what was holding her back.

"I also took one of Gerda's very thorough baths," I informed her to put her fears at ease. Which made her finally take it with a slight shake of her head. "Oh — and I helped one of the servants mop the floor before we got started in here. Trust me, when I say you can eat off the floor, I really mean it this time."

"You really have thought of everything; such attention to detail. It's almost a little scary."

"Love makes you a little scary sometimes, I guess."

"I guess." Then she slid the fork through some of the cake that we hadn't already rolled in, bringing it up to my lips. "After you."

"Oh! Wait… you first, it's your birthday."

"Diving into it counted as me going first," she chuckled. "Besides, I tasted a little on your lips once they caught some from my lips. Go on." And since I had no argument against that, and she was looking at me with those bemused, insistent eyes, I took the bite into my mouth.

"Ohmyghob, ibzo goob!"

"Anna, manners." Which I could appreciate the irony, since there were very little manners involved in rolling around in a giant cake. Probably. Maybe they do that more often in Corona…

"You have GOT to try this," I gushed once I had swallowed, grabbing the fork and scooping up another big bite for my sister.

"Can't I have a different fork?" But I wasn't budging. And she knew how important that particular utensil was to the both of us. "Gerda bathed you the same way she bathed me, didn't she?"

"It was like standing in a geyser."

"Fine." She accepted her first proper bite. Her blue eyes slid closed in ecstasy as she hummed her approval, eventually nodding after she had chewed for a moment.

"Amazing, right?" All she did was nod, raising a hand to give the okay symbol. So I helped myself to another bite, clutching my hand to my chest as tears welled up in my eyes.

Seriously, it was that good. Best cake I ever had in my life, up to and including the one with my sister's extra frosting.

"Okay," Elsa panted a couple minutes later when we had eaten our fill for the moment. "I was teasing you before, but I take it all back; I do want to live here and sleep here."

"Surrounded by layers of chocolatey goodness?" I giggled as I flopped onto my back, spread eagle in piles of sweet perfection. It was like Heaven, or Valhalla or whatever you believe is the good afterlife.

"Exactly. Fun and function." I glanced over to see she was lying on her side, propped up on one elbow so she could look down at me with a smile full of so much affection that my heart skipped a beat. "So very you."

At first all I did was chuckle a little and smile up at her. But then when she leaned down to kiss my chest, I let my eyes fall closed as a little sigh escaped my lips. "Mmm…"

"You were after something like this, I believe?"

Opening my eyes again, I was just in time to see her tongue slide across the meat of my right breast, the one closest to her. The track of freckled skin she revealed by cutting through the chocolate confection gleamed from her saliva, and it was somehow both offensive and arousing at the same time.

"Y-yeah. Something like that." I cleared my throat and caressed along her back, through cake and hair. "But you don't have to. If that whole courting thing is so-"

"We can take a break," she interrupted with an impish smile. "One night, for both Yule and my birthday. And for you, because I know how hard it has been to keep your hands off me."

A blast of air exploded from my lungs as she licked again. "HAH! W-wow, somebody's conceited in here, and I think her name rhymes with… with, uh…"

"With what? Jelsa?"

"No, that's not a thing."

I was still trying to think of a rhyme for her name when she found my nipple, and my squeal blasted every thought out of both of our minds. My chest was a feast for my sister for the moment as my conscious thoughts faded, simply letting her enjoy me. Because I enjoyed it just as much. A few times, she hit the nerves just right that I twitched, digging my nails briefly into her back and making her hiss in response. Some extra added fun.

Then she started moving down my stomach. I knew where she was going; this wasn't our first time trying this particular activity. But the butterflies were as fresh as ever, and my thighs tried to trap her head there.

"Oh, not tonight?" she purred.

"Reflex," I panted shortly, trying not to laugh at the cake all over her face now. Because even though it was funny, it also wasn't… since she was about to go to town on me.

Oh, she did. She really, really did — and it blew my mind so much more this time, somehow. Maybe it was because for the past few months, I only had that fork handle for company in my bed. Being pent up and needy tends to make the release ten times stronger, you know.

"Elsa!" I whined after a few hours. Okay, it was probably a minute or two, but it felt like so long! "You're really… how did you… get this good?!"

By the time she came up for air to answer me, she was gripping my ass cheeks to hold my pelvis closer to her face. "You're worth trying my best for, Anna. And… I may have practiced on an ice-replica." When I laughed at that, a frosting-smeared eyebrow arched. "Ooh…"

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. Your backside is so firm, and I felt it flexing in my hands. Powerful."

"Y-yeah, I exercise a lot. Could probably pick up a gold coin with it."

"Really?" I felt her poking around back there, and I clenched — again, reflex. "Wow. Do you think… you could squeeze this?"

Before I had any chance to ask a question or protest, I felt a finger sliding between my cheeks. What in the fjord was Elsa doing?! It felt wrong, and disturbing… and hot? Was it hot somehow?! Maybe, but only because it was her, and she had already been going down on me, I'm pretty sure; if anybody else had tried that, especially when I wasn't already chomping at the bit to get off, their hand would be kindling for the fireplace in the corner.

So don't let anybody tell you Elsa is a prude who would never do anything like that. That whole regal facade is just a smoke screen. She can get just as wild as me.

"Wow, your muscles really are strong," Elsa breathed in honest surprise, not just teasing me. "I'm impressed."

Freya, I tried so hard to hold it together. To control my reaction. But as she dragged her finger back from my crack, brushing the little forbidden spot that I had been trying not to think about, I shivered and let out a little moan. Dooming myself.

"Anna?"

"Yes! I m-mean, hello, yeah, you can… you can start back in on the goods now! Remember my goods? Right there in front of you?"

"No, wait. Did you enjoy…?" Probably trying to spare me some embarrassment, she didn't finish the sentence. Instead, she raised her frosting-covered finger and flexed it in my field of vision.

"Oh, did I really get cake in there, too? Sheeze, we've really been going crazy!"

My nervous laughter made it way too obvious I was just trying to distract my sister. Why was I so bad at that sometimes? She looked at me suspiciously for a moment, then glanced at the finger, then back at me.

"Anna-"

"Please, can we not-"

"Anna, it's okay. If you want me to leave that alone, I will; I was only asking how you felt about it. That's all."

Though her words didn't dial back my embarrassment, it soothed away the anxiety spike. "Oh. Well… no, I didn't mind that much. Not really. It's just because… like, after all you've been doing to my clit and tits, I'm kind of sensitive… everywhere. So it was pretty interesting, but I would never ask you to do it again! That's too big a favour!"

Elsa thought that over for a moment, and I finally started to relax. Then she kissed my inner thigh. "Just relax, my love. My Lord Anna." I groaned, thinking back to the coronation ball. Even though it all worked out okay. "I'll take care of you. And all you have to do is ask, and I will stop or change what I am doing. You can always talk to me, alright?"

"Okay," I said, completely relieved. My queen was so sweet to me, always taking care of me as much as she could. Making me feel safe.

Well, I did feel a little less safe when she started kissing closer to my behind. And then when I felt two thumbs pulling the cheeks apart, I wriggled all over and gasped out, "WHOA! Elsa, are you- you're not gonna-"

"Just going to try to get the cake in here," she laughed softly. "Unless you have objections."

Did I? The whole thing was too weird to have any objections. And while I was still trying to come up with one, I felt that wriggling tongue press somewhere I had never wanted or needed it to go. Was Elsa really doing this? She really didn't mind? We did enough wrong and taboo things already that this just seemed like one step too far! But the way she was going at my ass suggested she didn't agree.

And it was… different. Not good, not bad; just unsettling even while it was stimulating. When she was still at it a minute later with no signs of stopping, one of my hands started trailing the handle of that trusty fork down my stomach. Maybe, if I could take care of the main attraction, a little sideshow in the back room wouldn't be so bad.

"Mm?" she hummed, tongue still sliding over my taut skin. She must have seen my fingers moving, because she drew back with a chuckle. "Oh, did you need me to move along?"

"Y-yeah, Elsa, I… we could try that again later, but right now I'm…"

With a solemn nod, she went right back to going down on me. Who could complain about a girlfriend like that? Just takes care of my needs without any complaint. What an angel.

"Oh ffff- MMM!" Yeah, I had to scream into my hand to let out some of my energy. Luckily, it wasn't the one holding the fork or I might have stabbed myself in the face. A minute later, I gasped, "Elsa! I'm almost there! Almost there!"

My sister did not slow down until I actually was there. It felt like she had six tongues instead of two — which she might actually have been able to pull off if she used her ice powers, but I didn't feel her mouth get any colder. I came so hard and shook all over, and the whole time Elsa just held onto my hips and devoured me like I was the best cake she had ever tried. Which was probably how she felt.

Once my heat faded, she lowered me into the cake again and smirked. "That happened awfully quickly for someone who didn't like me playing with her a little lower than usual."

"Y-yeah! Well… you… let me get pent up for multiple months!"

"That is fair. I hope my apology was satisfactory."

Pretending to think real hard about it, I screwed up my face and tapped my chin. Elsa laughed. "Weeeeeelllllllllll… on one condition."

"What condition?" She started when I moved to pin her to the bed. "Oh!"

"This one." My chosen target was her neck. She shivered a little when I ran my tongue along it, enjoying the rich chocolate mixing with the light purity of her skin. I wanted to eat Elsa whole.

"Anna… you… make it hard to breathe."

"Elsa…"

"N-no, I… I'm really-!"

With a shock, I realized she meant the way my hand was pushing into the middle of her abdomen. "OH! Shit, Elsa, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-" As she took a deep breath, I caressed her side. "Better? Man, I am just really dumb sometimes…"

Elsa pulled me down into her embrace. "We already covered that. You are not dumb. You have never been dumb."

"You sure? I mean, not that I'm trying to argue with you, but you keep saying that and then I keep doing dumb things."

"Because you're excited. I am, too; I've just had a lot more practice... controlling myself."

For good reason. But since she wasn't judging me, I pushed myself back up to begin devouring the cake covering her ribs and stomach. She giggled a couple of times, and I smiled at the way her abdominal muscles flexed under my lips, bumping up against my nose. I could have kept eating off her and exploring her for hours and never got bored. Not once.

"Mmhhh, this really is so good," I sighed as I got closer and closer to the finish line. "The cake, you… who could ask for more?"

"I'm glad you… approve." But I could tell she was nervous. Why? It's not like this was the first time we had done anything like this; just the first in a little while.

"Elsa?" She didn't answer right away. Watching her bite her lip and look anxious was cute, but I still prompted her, "Hey. You okay?"

"What? Oh… yes, I'm fine." My face must have looked extra unconvinced, because a second later, she relented. "I'm still a little afraid of losing control of my powers when I…"

"When you what? Oh, wait, you're- right, got it, you don't need to explain. But hey, even when you've done that before, all you did was give me a little extra blast of snow. I don't mind a cold cake."

Tittering the slightest amount, despite the fear in her eyes, she reached down to run her fingers through my sugar-matted fringe. "Neither of us do. And I know you're probably right, but I can't help but worry I will hurt you for a third time. I don't think I could take that."

"Me, either. But you won't. I hear you, I do, but I know you have a handle on this now. You've been doing so good! Nobody in Arendelle is scared of you anymore. So just… let me do the magic this time."

That was that. Even though she was still biting her lip, her brow still creased, she didn't protest further as I kissed the inside of her thigh, devouring the frosting I found there. But I still didn't like that she was wound up so tight. So I figured hey, why not try to loosen her up?

"So, if I get a couple of fingers in you and really start going to town… does that make this pound-cake?"

Oh, now she looked mad. I barely had enough time to register the movement before her foot was pushing into my face, trying to shove me off the bed entirely.

"Hey, whoa whoa, Elsa! Come on, I'm sorry!"

"Why don't I believe you?" she demanded in a would-be stern voice. The answer might have been because I was laughing up a storm. But I caught sight of her smile, which told me she was just trying to mess around with me. One of the many things I had been missing over the past thirteen years.

"Truce! I'll keep my corny jokes to myself if you don't shove me the rest of the way off this bed!" Really, I already had to whip one leg back and brace against the floor to keep from falling as it was. But she slowly began to relent. "Thank you."

"I ought to put my finger back in your 'fork holder' for that one," she grunted.

"It was one time! I don't go around carrying forks back there all the time, you know!"

"Actually, no, I don't know that. Because I never inspect the back of your dress when you are casually walking down the halls."

"You could, though…" As she just shook her head at me, I decided to get a little more playful.

"AH! Not my feet — don't bite my feet, you know how ticklish iyyyahahahhaaaa!"

Too late. My teeth were nibbling all over her chocolatey toes in retaliation for almost being knocked on my butt. The way she began kicking was extremely dangerous, but at least now my childhood memories were intact; I remembered learning by watching our father that you had to hold her leg steady when you tickled her, or you were asking for an eyeful of flailing heel.

"STOP!" she cackled. "I'm- I am about to ruin this cake! Anna!"

Right away, I broke off with a laugh. No matter how much fun I was having, it wasn't worth ruining an entire cake-bed by making her wet herself. "Okay, okay. Yellow frosting is as bad as yellow snow, I guess."

"You… monster!" But she was still laughing a little, cheeks flushed, chest rising and falling in an attempt to regain her breath. Which looked like she had been doing something else.

Flawless. I was head over heels, alright.

"Sorry. But do you know how cute you are when you get tickled?"

Clearing her throat, she pushed up onto her elbows before answering me. "That is… because I didn't get to run around outside the way you did. Not after my ninth birthday. So my feet are…"

Oh. Well that was a sad reason for them to be extra sensitive. But I decided to simply kiss the one I had been attacking and say, "Perfect. You were gonna say 'perfect' right? Because that's the only answer I'm accepting right now."

Shaking her head a little at me, she let out an exasperated sigh that was followed by a small smile. "You're too kind to me."

"Nah. Just know you deserve the best."

Again, I kissed, and she hummed as her smile grew. When my lips parted to let my tongue slide between two of her toes, she rolled her eyes and pulled her foot away. "Fine, I get it, you love every inch of me."

"Glad we got that straightened out. Now, I have my eye on a couple of pastries… one sec."

Her hand raised up to rest on the back of my head when I attacked her chest. I figured she would probably appreciate having some time to recover before I went back between her thighs. The sounds floating out of her lungs were every bit as enthralling as if I had gone straight for the crux of her thighs, of course, but at least this way I could enjoy my cake a little longer.

"You are… so persistent." I switched to the other peak, my hand wrapping around the mountain below and kneading just enough to add pressure and pleasure without causing pain. "Mmmhh, and I almost want to ask if you have been practicing on someone else!"

"Maybe I made an ice-replica," I shot at her as I moved back down. Her grin was so huge. "Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this."

"You make it sound like you're about to go cliff-diving!" she laughed.

"Oh, I am. I'm about to dive down deep into your sound."

Elsa's lips parted, probably to reprimand me for another corny line. But all that came out was a moan when I pressed my mouth tightly against her soft folds through the frosting and chocolate. And I intended to clean every speck of that from her by the time I was finished.

My Elsa. My queen of snow and ice, grace and beauty and power. The only woman in the world. My mind and heart were full of desire for the goddess I was making writhe with my every teasing touch. And it wasn't just that she was the most beautiful girl in Arendelle, not that she had given me an orgasm so recently. This was about way more than repaying a debt or physical beauty; it was my sister. The one person who had always been a part of me, and who always will.

"A-Anna!" she gasped — well, she had been doing that for a couple of minutes, but this one was louder and stronger. Somehow, I just knew what she meant. "I'm… I'm still scared! I love you!"

I loved her, too. But I wanted to show her in some way besides slowing down to tell her with words. So I moved one hand from her hip to push our fork into hers, which had been clutching uselessly at another pile of birthday cake. And wow, did she respond! My hand was caught with the fork between our fingers, and it was such a tight grip that I felt like she would never let me go again.

Which did as much for me as I might have been doing for her.

There was more snow this time. Somehow, I had kind of expected that; I mean, when you tell an ice witch that she shouldn't hold back with her power, you're going to get more power. Makes sense, right? But even while I was still feeling her flesh pulse against my lips and tongue, her juices running down my chin, tiny pinpricks of cold were dusting my back in the spots that weren't covered by chocolate.

"Oh," I panted when I finally came up for air, satisfied that she no longer needed little licks for little aftershocks. "Snow! See? I told you everything would be fine. And this isn't even that bad!"

Though of course, we were both looking around at the winter wonderland filling the room. It was only a couple of inches deep, but spread over that large an area it still added up to a decent amount.

"It's… a lot," she panted. "But at least there aren't any… nothing dangerous."

Scoffing, I crawled up to lay my head on her shoulder, curling my entire body around hers as tightly as I could. Needing to be that close to her now. "Dangerous? You? Come on, you're a big pussycat."

"We both know… that's… a stretch." Finally, she cleared her throat and simply took in a couple of deep breaths so she wouldn't be so winded. Then she turned to look into my eyes with a smile full of afterglow and affection. "Thank you. For that, for all of this; for my perfect birthday night."

"Yeah. You got it. I'm always going to show you how much I love you, no matter how big I have to go to get the point across."

"Anna, you don't have to. I already know." We shared a firm kiss. Then she crinkled her nose. "Oh, that's… did you really enjoy me adding that to your cake? It's so strange."

"Maybe I wouldn't have if I didn't know what it was," I admitted with a giggle. "But knowing? Oh yeah. Totally hot."

"If you say so." Then she suddenly looked horrified. "Oh no — my lips have- you were kissing-"

"All I tasted was Sister-Queen and cake," I headed her off before she actually said it out loud. "Don't have to make it even more gross. Seriously, you didn't run away from my butt? I thought that would be a fate worse than death!"

"No, no," she reassured me, completely contented now that we had both enjoyed ourselves and could relax. "I wasn't lying for your benefit; it wasn't that bad. Especially when mixed with chocolate cake. Though I agree with you about my essence on this subject; probably wouldn't have enjoyed it not knowing what it is, or by itself. Well…"

Running my index fingertip in small circles on her stomach, I prompted, "Well?"

"I could try it by itself. Maybe. Someday."

"Go ahead. I won't… well, I might judge a little, but since we're already sisters who knock boots, it's not gonna hold a lot of water."

"Mmhmm. I suppose that's a valid point."

"Ohhhhh, I just wanna lay here forever!" I burst out as I curled even harder around Elsa, and she laughed again, nuzzling into my hair. "Though I do have another bath ready in the next chamber. I'm no doctor, but it's probably not the best idea for us to leave cake in some of the places we have cake right now."

Nodding, she whispered, "In a minute. This is so comfortable. Actually, I'm surprised we're not sinking all the way down to the floor."

"Oh — yeah, that's because we took a bed-sized wooden box and made the cake on top of that. Like, it's pretty much a bunch of little cakes smushed together in a grid pattern to make one huge sheet cake, and then we just put the icing all over it and down the sides with the right colours and patterns. So it looked like a real bed, with a quilt and all."

"Clever," she chuckled, scratching at my rib cage just enough to prompt a giggle from me before she stopped. "Really, I was flabbergasted at first, but now I really admire all the work you did for this. Because it turned out to be a lot of fun."

Her praise made my heart glow. "It did, didn't it? Chocolate cake slumber party. Go me."

We both fell into the kind of comfortable silence you can only have with family. Lover, sister, friend… Elsa was all of those things to me. And we had beaten all the odds and found our way back to each other, and we were alive, and our lives were wonderful. There wasn't much else I could ask for.

"I love you, my Anna," she breathed into my hair before rolling over to prop herself up on her elbow and look at me. I mirrored the gesture, gazing into her eyes.

"Love you, too, Majesty. And I always will."

Elsa kissed me hard and long, and held me close for such a long time that time itself ceased to hold meaning. Definitely not your run-of-the-mill anniversary of being born, but I finally knew: what we had? Different-good. The best kind of different a princess could ask for.

                                                      ~ Takk for Reisen ~

[the-pen-pot]

Changes.

Before I begin, I'm pretty sure you guys all know I'm unemployed and have been for yonks. I was self-employed running an online jewellery store and a SAHM until Brexit. Since then (about 2016) I've been privileged enough to be able to adjust family finances so my spouse brings in the money and I keep the house ticking over. Sort of. Just to give you some idea of why an actual JOB never seems to feature in my ramblings)

As some of you know, I battle with depression. It hit me hard after finishing Gilded Cage back in about 2015, and while I've been medicated and had therapy since (both of which I no longer have access to), it's not the kind of thing that is ever really cured. One of the areas of my life that it's had the biggest impact is in my creativity. Writing is hard. Not while I'm doing it, but just getting started. I've developed a few different coping mechanisms, but the problem (which in my head I call inertia) is pretty persistent. It exists in other areas of my life too (tv shows, games etc): just finding the energy to *start* the thing is hugely challenging. Most days I manage it, but some days I don't get out of bed.

I think I've spent the past five years trying to get back to "normal". At first, it seemed a sound enough strategy, but it's pretty much time to admit that maybe I need to ditch that idea. This year in particular has shown everyone, I think, how much of an illusion normal is (and probably given us all an intense hatred for the phrase "new normal" which I hear all the time and it makes me want to beat someone's face in.)

So, I need to stop comparing what I'm doing now to what I've done in the past. I've been collecting fears because they're pretty excuses ("You'll never write anything as successful as Gilded Cage again. You've peaked; give up. No one will like it so why bother.) and I do like to cling to them as I give myself another reason to stay in bed all day. I need to acknowledge that different tactics worked for me in the past, but they'll no longer cut it, and I really need to find new strategies. Which, of course, is a mess of trial and error, some success and probably a dollop of crash-and-burn failure too.

So what's the plan?

Good question. I've already implemented some changes in my life to help since finishing The Riven Crown in 2017. (That was pretty much pure escapism and denial of my issues fic and I love it to this day because it let me completely ignore the issue for 18 months and didn't turn out too badly).

I started my patreon to help boost my self-esteem. To prove people were listening/caring/wanted what I write and were also willing to pay. (One of the neuroses from my upbringing is if you're not earning any money doing the thing, then that thing (and by extension you) is worthless. This is UTTER BULLSHIT and I know it but my psyche doesn't do logic). Patreon's been successful beyond my wildest dreams. Not only does it provide a good argument to my internal whinings of worthlessness, it provides my writing life with some external pressure. Before, all of my pressure came from me "You gotta update every week." which was challenging because I am simultaneously a hard-ass and a soft touch. I'd let myself miss my self imposed deadline and then loathe myself intensely for doing so. Not cool. Patreon allows me to externalise that a little bit more, which helps.

It also gives me fresh ideas, opportunities, and is an excellent way to connect with people who really, really like my work.

I also started using 4thewords to help with the inertia. It didn't. Not with the inertia bit, anyway. I still struggle to START THE THING, but what it does do is keep me going and keep me coming back, because by gamifying my writing, I'm giving myself other, smaller goals than "finish the chapter/story/thing" which, as we all know, makes a big goal easier to achieve. I'm not staring down the barrel of "Write 8 chapters and a smutty epilogue". I'm staring down the barrel of "Write 700 words to kill the critter and get cool gear" which is infinitely more do-able and also, I get cool gear. It feeds the positive reward feedback monkey brain and monkey brain likes that.

I need to do more, though, and mostly I think that comes down to trying out new strategies in the way I live my life to find a happy balance between getting things done and feeling worthwhile, and also getting the rest/downtime/whatever my neurochemistry needs to function. This is especially hard right now because I recharge through solitude. Like, utter solitude. Ideally, an empty house. Which has not happened since lockdown began in March. My home is currently also my husband's work and my kid's school, and that's not changing until at least September. I deserve a medal for not murdering anyone in the depths of an introvert-forced-to-socialise-constantly fugue yet, if I'm honest.

So next week (July 20th to 26th-ish) I'm taking a week off writing. (Sounds dead simple, doesn't it? But actually it's not.) What that means is I won't write during that week unless there's a project that's really captured my imagination and I'm compelled to do so. Will I still be posting? Yep. I'm angling this so that, hopefully, there'll be minimal delays to any scheduled postings.) After that I plan to gently increase the amount of writing/editing/actual "work" I do during the week. At the moment it's a bit hodge podge. I normally write a bit in the morning. 2000 words on a great day. On a not great day, maybe 100. I'd like to build that into something more consistent and productive, Monday to Friday. The idea is that roughly one week in every four, I'll take off from writing. 

It seems excessive. Even me looking at it right now, I'm like "that's a LOT of time off", but I think I need it. At least to start off with. I need time to just lie in bed and read fic if I want to. Time free of the constant, internal nagging of: "You should be doing x". Pre-planned, guiltless, time-off.

My hope is that it will help stabilise my productive/not productive patches into something workable that leads to a happier life for me, and more fic for you guys =D

Thanks for listening to me ramble!    

[sierraraeck]

Dancing, Drugs, and Lies (Pt.3)

BAU x OC Aundreya

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

(This is my gif so please give credit if used)

Summary: Morgan’s cousin is in danger. Aundreya decides to use some of her ‘special talents’ to help the team find her. Story seven.

Category: Working a case with the team. A bit angsty, I guess.

Warnings: Cussing. Drugs. Implied drug abuse. Normal CM gore and situations.

Word Count: 3.0k

A/N: Just a reminder that this is all fiction and I don’t actually know about drugs or exotic dancers.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

The team split up and went to look for Dom at all three locations. Typically, they found him at the Camelot, which was good and bad for me. Good that I would know people there and could get them to cooperate with me easier and I already had some of my outfits there. Bad because I knew people there and had outfits there and the team could pick up on the fact that I’d been there many times recently as a dancer.

I showed up to the Camelot and went through the back door.

“Alionth! Hey, what’re you doing here? I thought you were off for a while?” JoJo said. She and I had worked together for many years and were the ultimate veterans of the group. Her long, fiery red hair and gorgeous long legs made her quite the attraction and I’d told her that. She always complained and said she wished she had more toned, muscular legs like mine. I guess the grass is always greener, right?

“Yeah well, I decided to pop in,” I replied. I was trying to keep the real motives of my visit under wraps. I walked over to the mini cabinet that I kept my clothes in. I slipped on the tight, black, leather outfit that provided the least coverage. I always caught a lot of attention wearing it. I quickly pulled my hair back and hid it under my signature wig. It was long, straight hair, nearing my waist, and was a bright orange on the right half, and bright yellow on the left half. I threw in my green contacts as well, completely transforming myself into the persona I let take the stage. Not to be confused with the other half of the Alionth persona, who was the badass criminal ringleader.

I poked my head around the side of the stage so that I could find the man in the trench coat. He wasn’t hard to spot, standing behind the third row of tables, directly in the center.

Time to turn on the charm.

They announced me as ‘Alionth: special guest star’, followed by a bunch of hoots and hollers.

Great. The team will definitely ask what that’s about.

I walked out on stage, slowly, seductively, and made eye contact with Dom the whole time. I winked at him right before my music started.

I’d done this plenty of times, but it felt surreal knowing that the two worlds I tried so hard to keep separate were colliding. I fought the urge to look for my teammates, just having to trust the knowledge that they were there, and they were watching. I both wanted to, and didn’t want to see their reactions. Instead, I put forth all of my efforts into long-distance wooing Dom Forester.

The song ended and the lights went dark. I gasped for air, just then realizing that I’d probably been holding my breath for the entirety of the dance. I felt a little light headed, but the chorus of cat calls and claps brought me back to Earth. I quickly collected the money strewn across the stage, went back to the dressing rooms, and waited. If this guy was as impatient as we profiled, I’d be getting the notice any minute.

“Alionth,” Landice, the manager, said, “You’ve got a private.”

I took a deep breath. Now the real show begins.

I walked as confidently as I could into that room. I’d dealt with so many creeps it was unbelievable, but this was different. Different because I was actually going to have to wait for him to make a move on me and then not fight back, and different because I knew that I had a team of professionals watching my back. I did one last check of my bracelet, just to make sure the hidden button was still there and within reach.

“Hel-lo,” I said coquettishly, flashing him my best smile. He didn’t respond. I looked him up and down, and he returned the favor. “Like what you see?”

He patted the seat next to him. I went to sit down. I watched him intently as he pulled a small bag, filled with the same white powder I took earlier that day, out of his jacket pocket. He dumped a small portion on the table. He locked eyes with me and gestured toward the pile.

“Sir, are you sure you want to be high for this? I think the memories will be a lot more enjoyable if you can actually remember them,” I offered.

“I don’t want to be high for this. I want you to be high for this,” he stated simply.

I laughed. “Sir, I won’t be able to do my job as well.”

“That doesn’t matter to me. Come on, just take a little,” he tried.

“What is it?”

“Just a small mixture that I made. It’ll help you relax and feel better.” If only that were true.

“Sir, I don’t-”

“Look, I paid extra for this so I’d like you to do whatever I say. And since when did dancers turn down free drugs?” he spat. He had a point, that’s probably why he was able to lure so many girls. I took a deep breath, careful not to let him see it, and bent over to sniff some up. I tried to take as little as l could while still looking like I was taking some. The feeling of euphoria crashed into me, just like it had the first time.

“Ready to start?” I asked, fighting hard to keep my balance and stay upright. He nodded with a hint of confusion and gestured toward the mini stage and pole in the middle of the room. I walked over to dim the lights, and started the music. For a split second, focusing all of my energy on the dance, I forgot why I was actually there. I was going through the motions repeating to myself that I had to stay clear headed. When it got to the portion of the dance where I would basically be right on top of him, I hesitated. I had no idea what his plan was or how he got the girls out of the room, and by now he had definitely messed with the cameras, so my safety was left to my ability to activate my bracelet.

Here we go.

I strutted over to him, and bent over, sticking my ass high in the air. I quickly went to sit on his lap, slowly swishing my hips from side to side. The moment I actually made contact with his legs, he pulled a knife out and held it to my throat. His other hand quickly clasped over my mouth.

“Would you be a doll and come with me for a second?” he asked, sounding smug. I moved my wrist slightly to let the extra chain with the button fall into my palm. I squeezed as hard as I could. Hopefully the message got sent. I nodded, trying to avoid getting the blade pushed into my neck any farther. He slowly stood up, careful not to actually hurt me, and started backing up toward the exit that only staff here was supposed to know about. I was surprised that he completely abandoned the drugs like last time. That wasn’t typically part of his MO until he got thrown off by Amanda.

Finally, they burst into the room, all aiming their guns right at me. Well, right at the guy behind me, who was currently using me as a human shield.

“Drop the knife,” Morgan said. My heart was pounding and my eyes were watering, both of which I attributed to the drugs.

“I will kill this whore right now if you don’t back up!” he yelled. Emily was standing the furthest away by the door. I tried to make eye contact with her, attempting to burn holes into her face. She looked at me, and I slightly tilted my head toward the back door Dom was headed for. She looked at me bewildered. I directed my eyes in the same direction, willing her to get the message. Realization struck her face, and she slinked out of the room.

“You don’t want to do this, Dom,” Rossi said.

“Why would that be?” he hissed.

“If you kill her, we will kill you in an instant. You will never get to fully develop your drug or sell it, which will earn you a lot of attention in prison,” Rossi said.

“And on the streets if you get out,” Morgan pointed out.

“You won’t ever let me out. And they will think I’m a weak whore-killer in there, even if I do have new drugs,” Dom said, his voice defeated.

Shit. That is not good. He’s about to give up and I’m willing to bet he’s gonna take me with him.

“Dom, just set the knife down. We can work this out, get you a deal. We can tell them you cooperated,” Rossi tried. It was a hollow effort. I felt Dom’s arm tense up and his grip tighten around the knife. I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw, preparing myself for the blow that was bound to come. I emptied my mind, praying to the god I never believed in that I wouldn’t go to hell, ready to give into the drugs and whatever darkness was sure to follow.

But it never came.

My ears rang and a sudden stinging sensation was coming from my left collar bone. The knife fell to the floor with a clatter and Dom was quick to follow. That’s when I remembered that Prentiss had snuck out to come through the back entrance. I lifted my hand to my collar bone, the warm wet blood that I already knew was there coating it. I turned to face Emily who was holstering her gun, my body finally succumbing to the stress from the entire day. I let myself fall into her arms, and be dragged under by the drugs coursing through my veins at a rapid pace. She held me tight and helped me out to the ambulance that was somehow already there, whispering in my ear that I was going to be okay the whole way. Spencer was pacing out front and the moment he saw me, tears sprang into his eyes. He was next to me impossibly fast and I allowed myself to be swallowed up by his embrace, taking in his scent and basking in the safety of his arms.

“Let’s get you over to a medic,” he said, steadying me with his grasp, ushering me toward one of the ambulances. I nodded and sat down on the edge as a man in a white uniform reached for a stack of gauze. He started working on my cut while the other paramedics wheeled out an injured Dom Forester, chained to his gurney.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

The paramedics insisted that they take me to the hospital because of the sheer amount of drugs in my system and my ‘irregular heartbeat’. I tried to convince them I was fine but to no avail.

When I woke up, Spencer and Emily were sitting in chairs near my bed, looking like they had decided to hibernate. I scanned myself, realizing that I was in a hospital gown. Someone must have reverted me back to Aundreya, taking my wig, contacts, and outfit off. Next, I scanned the room. There were three trays full of untouched food on the table next to me. I started to reach over to the table on my left when Spencer, panic in his voice, said, “Stop! Don’t do that!”

I paused, my arm hanging in mid air over the bed. “What?” My voice sounded fogged.

“You will damage your stitches,” he explained. All of his sudden movements and talking woke Emily up.

“Oh, good. You're up,” she said, casually.

“Yeah, about that. Why was I asleep to begin with? And what am I doing in a hospital?” I asked. It was weird, but over the 24 years of my life, with all that has happened, I’d never once been to a hospital, let alone be the reason for my visit. I mean, I’d been to the gang’s ‘ER’ but I didn’t really count that.

“I came behind you and shot Dom in the leg. It forced him to buckle under his own weight, but he made a last-ditch effort to slice your throat. He must’ve caught your collar bone on his way down,” Emily explained.

“And once we got you to the paramedics, you insisted you were fine, but they took you here in an ambulance anyway. Good thing they did because two minutes into the drive, you passed out,” Spencer told me.

“Passed out? From what?” I was confused. Nothing I could think of was ‘pass out’ worthy.

“Probably just the combination of stress, blood loss, and the drugs. Because you’d had two doses of a highly toxic drug mixture within one day, your blood was pumping through your body very quickly, causing you to lose more blood than usual. It’s honestly a miracle you didn’t just have a heart attack,” Reid informed me. I nodded, slowly able to wrap my head around that.

I wonder how many times I’ve almost had a heart attack and died due to drugs but didn’t.

I’d really never thought about it before.

“That was actually something I’ve been meaning to ask you about,” Prentiss led in.

“What?”

“I mean, skipping over the fact that you were able to take a mixture of drugs and tell us each drug that was in it, which is crazy, but how were you able to take the first dose, and then be completely fine within a few hours? Most people would be hopped up for like the next couple of days. Not to mention, you took a second dose within the same eight hour window, and not only survived, but could stay clear headed long enough for us to take down an unsub. Then you wake up just two hours later? Come on. What is your secret?” She sounded concerned, but actually kind of in awe, almost eager to hear my answer.

“Like I said, I just have a super high tolerance to drugs,” I stated.

“Come on, there’s gotta be more than that.”

I shook my head. “Sorry. I don’t know what to tell ya.” She looked incredulous and I don’t blame her. We all knew I was hiding something but she let it go. “Hey, what happened to Morgan’s cousin?”

“Oh yeah! We got Dom to tell us where he was keeping her, and she’s here in the hospital and is okay!” Reid cheered.

“Wait, what? I thought for sure that-”

“She’d be dead? That’s what we all thought. Turns out, the incident with Amanda threw him off so much that he needed a successful abduction before he could rebuild his confidence enough to kill her,” Reid said.

“Wow. That’s great news. I’m glad she’s okay. And Morgan?” I questioned.

“Ecstatic,” Penelope said, entering my room.

“Penelope!” I said, with a smile. There was just something about her entire being that could just light up a room. She came to give me a hug.

“How are you feeling? Good enough to stand?” she pushed.

“Garcia! Give the girl a minute,” Emily said.

I laughed, “It’s okay. I’m good and definitely need to get out of this bed.”

She pranced out of the room, me in tow, down the hall to where Derek and Thia were standing. Derek beamed at me, and embraced me in those giant teddy-bear arms. “You do not know how much this means to me,” he said, looking over at Thia. “Honestly, I cannot thank you enough for everything you’ve done. Risking your life to help someone that I care about … I just really appreciate it,” he said. He seemed speechless, which left a smile on my face. I enjoyed seeing him this happy and relieved after a rough couple of days. “I’d like you to meet my cousin, Cindi. Cindi, this is our new teammate, Aundreya, that did most of the work to help us find you.”

I laughed and extended my hand. “That’s completely inaccurate, but it’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” she said slowly, obviously confused. I flashed her a smile but quickly slipped in a warning look, expressing that I’d explain everything when we were alone. She smiled back, picking up what I was putting down.

That’ll be a fun conversation.

“You know, if I can’t convince you to let me help you, and you are going to continue dancing, I’m sure this one could teach you a thing or two,” Morgan said jokingly, tossing his head in my direction.

“What makes you say that?” Thia asked. I looked at him expectantly.

“Well, she told me she had experience with dancing but damn. That was not what I was expecting,” he said.

I looked at him, mouth slightly agape, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“They literally announced you as ‘Alionth: special guest star,’” he said, with his eyebrows up.

“He has a point. Why did they do that?” Spencer asked me. He’d already been on my ass earlier about it, the last thing I wanted was for him to pick up on everything and start asking me 21 questions.

“I told them to. It’d help sell it to Dom,” I stated simply. In order to change the subject I added, “You never answered my question, though. What were you expecting?”

“Look, I didn’t mean any disrespect, and if it wasn’t weird because we’re friends, I would’ve totally been tossing bills at you. All I’m saying is that you’re good,” he put his hands up in defense.

“Bullshit,” I said with a wink, “I’m great.”

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Unconventional

Summary: The reader is more than unhappy when her free thinking father arranges her to be wed to an Alpha in exchange for sanctuary for their large pack. Her new Alpha though is everything she didn’t expect and she soon discovers, her new husband needs her help...

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!reader

Square: Marriage of Convenience

Word Count: 13,500ish

Warnings: Mature (language, arranged marriage, mild violence/referenced past violence)

A/N: Written for @spnabobingo . This one is a bit different for me in terms of ABO. For this universe, Omegas have some rights limited and are treated like objects by some Alphas (although there are some Omegas that are raised with more rights)...

“Dad, I-” you tried one last time, your father scowling at you in the room that’d been prepared for you. “Please don’t do this.”

“He is a well-off Alpha. His family has much influence in the government. His family will take care of ours for many years to come in exchange for this,” he said.

“I haven’t even met the guy and you’re sending me off to be married to him. What is wrong with you? Where’s the man that raised me no different because I was Omega, that told me he was proud of me for being smart and strong and independent? After all these years, I’m suddenly a baby making machine for some rich guy?” you snapped.

“The family will provide sanctuary for ours, Y/N. Our entire pack will have rights. You are helping how many people?” he said. You shut your eyes and fisted your hands in the bottom of your dress. “Perhaps the boy will be kind.”

“Why was I chosen? They are older Omegas, more experienced ones,” you said.

“I don’t know. They chose you though. There is no calling this off, Y/N,” he said.

“You never even asked me,” you said.

“Because I know you eventually would have said yes. It’s easier and faster to let you be angry with me then to let you ultimately decided that you’re saving our pack. There are many pups ready to be born soon. They’ll never know anything different than independence. You will have done that. I hope you hold onto that,” he said.

“Today’s the last day I’ll ever see you, isn’t it,” you said.

“I doubt your Alpha will allow contact. Be a good Omega, Y/N. But don’t lose yourself,” he said.

“Good. Yeah right.”

You were doing your best not to reach behind you and rip the collar off your neck. As long as it was there at least your new Alpha hadn’t claimed you yet.

You sighed as you heard a knock at the door. You walked with your father outside and down a hall, entering a room with only a few people. There was a man and woman off to the side, a tall younger man close by. She was Omega, the men Alphas. The young one gave off a surprised scent. It was possibly his first marriage ceremony he’d witnessed. In your pack they’d always been happy things, never so clinical like this was.

You smelled leather and wood and coffee and vanilla in the air, something sweetly dark and light all at once. It was incredibly pleasant and you’d have enjoyed it on a normal day. Your head turned to find a rigid Alpha standing at the altar. He was tall, not as tall as the other young Alpa, but he was strong too, hair a pretty brown color. You took a deep breath and stepped up beside him, turning your head. He glanced your direction, a handsome and hardset face meeting yours.

Some Alphas didn’t want eye contact, didn’t allow it your father had taught you. You simply stared back at him, making sure he knew he wasn’t getting some compliant little thing.

His green eyes turned away, facing forward again.

“Shall we begin?” asked the man to the side. Your new Alpha nodded and you did the same.

At least he didn’t talk a lot.

You sat in silence in the passenger seat of a vehicle, your new Alpha, Dean Winchester, driving for quite a while. The ceremony was completed quickly and you were officially claimed in the books. Dean would perform the actual claiming when you arrived at his home as was tradition. You tried not to think about that, instead enjoying the beautiful drive to wherever it was he lived. It was far out, no neighbors surely. You weren’t sure what he did for a living. It was possible he had no job at all if his family was really that wealthy to provide sanctuary for your large pack.

You drove through the last of some woods, an open field appearing with a large house, a mansion really, settled in the middle. He turned down a road and went through a gate, driving along a short driveway until he parked in front of a large garage and slid out of his seat. You swallowed and got out, Dean not saying anything as he walked towards the front door. You followed after, Dean not seeming to acknowledge you were there all that much.

Great. He was one of those. Well, you’d take being ignored over the alternative you supposed.

You stepped inside and the front door shut behind you, your head turning to spot him walk in front of you.

“Please take off your shoes. We don’t wear them in the house,” he said.

“Yes. Alpha,” you said, more than a little bitter. Dean only stared though as he watched you kick them off, instead ignoring the tone in your voice. He blinked a moment and headed down the main hall. You followed him again, finding a large open kitchen and family room in the back of the house.

There were three people chatting in the kitchen, all of them going quiet when Dean walked in. They hopped up from their seats and walked over in front of the island, smiles on their faces.

“This is Abby. She is the chef for the house. She will make anything you ask of her or make sure there is any food you would like here,” said Dean when he stood behind her, walking behind a man now, all three of them smelling like Betas to you. “This is Peter. He ensures the home stays clean and grounds are kept up. If you make a mess, you are expected to clean up after yourself though. Finally, this is Sally. She assists Peter and Abby and myself with odds and ends. If you need something, I would reach out to her. The staff arrive typically around eight am and leave around six. They do not work on the weekend. Do you understand?” he asked. You nodded, Dean walking past them and back towards the main hall, the three Betas raising eyebrows.

You followed Dean as he showed you the rooms of the house and eventually upstairs, Dean pushing open a door to a large bedroom.

“You may use this room for whatever you wish,” he said, walking down a long hallway and to the end, opening a pair of double doors. “This is my room.”

“Yes Alpha,” you said. You walked inside, Dean walking around you, a finger tracing over your collar.

“Do you like your collar?” he asked.

“I guess,” you said. He nodded.

“Claimed Omegas are to be kept collared until they are properly claimed,” he said.

“Is that a question?” you asked. He almost smiled, a quick twitch of his lip giving him away.

“When the staff leave everyday, you are permitted to not wear it unless there are guests over,” he said. You raised an eyebrow, Dean staring at you. “If it’s only the two of us, I believe it’ll be fine to go without.”

“You don’t want to show off your mark to others?” you asked.

“What mark? I’m not going to claim you Omega,” he said.

“What?”

“We were married so your large pack could be given sanctuary and I could be given an Omega. As far as I’m concerned, we both fulfilled the roles we were given,” he said.

“You’re my Alpha though,” you said.

“On the books. I don’t agree with this scenario. The Betas here are used to my candor. This is a safe place for you. Live your life as you lived it before. If you go out, you will wear your collar for safety and appearance reasons but that room down the hall is yours. I will never enter it without permission,” he said. “I ask you give me the same courtesy.”

“Alright,” you said. “I...I suppose I’m confused is all.”

“My parents felt I needed an Omega. I will be thirty next year and it didn’t look good. You are in your twenties with a large pack. I felt this would be an okay arrangement,” he said.

“You picked me because I have a large pack?” you asked.

“Yes. Well my father did but I agreed. You are also...your father called you a troublemaker. I liked that. One trouble maker to another,” he said.

“You won’t…” you said.

“I will never so much as touch you without permission. The best medical resources are available to assist you through heats and if you ever desire pups of your own, we can work through that. For now, as you are still quite stressed, I say we have a quiet rest of the evening. I will ask Abby to prepare something and then send the staff home early if that is okay,” he said.

“Okay,” you said. “Okay.”

You took off your collar at the kitchen island, Dean sitting in a pair of sweatpants on the counter, eating a bowl of mac and cheese. You carefully watched him as you ate slowly, Dean blinking at you a few times.

“You are allowed to wear what you want, Y/N. Sally will help you get any clothes you wish,” he said. “You may change out of that dress at any time. I have no real rules for you here.”

“This...this isn’t how I thought my wedding night would go,” you said.

“Mine either,” he said, sipping on his beer.

“You can never have an Omega now you know,” you said.

“I would take a friend over an Omega,” he said, giving you a nod. “Hopefully we can be friends. Or else the next few decades are going to be very long.”

“I suppose we could try that. As long as you keep your word,” you said.

“You don’t have to worry about that.”

The Next Day

You scratched your neck as you walked into the kitchen, yawning and going to the fridge. You pulled out some eggs, screaming when Abby was suddenly right there.

“Sorry, Omega Y/N. I didn’t mean to startle you,” she said.

“No it was my fault,” you said, setting the eggs down on the counter.

“Would you like me to make you breakfast?” she asked. “Dean has already eaten.”

“I can make it,” you said.

“May I please make you breakfast? Dean often eats cereal and I never get to make-“

“If you really want to. I was just going to make scrambled eggs,” you said. She quickly took the eggs and started rummaging around the kitchen while you got out of the way.

You found a seat at the counter, watching her cook as Peter and Sally came in, both uttering good mornings to you.

“How are you settling in, Omega Y/N?” asked Sally. “Do you need anything?”

“Okay. Maybe some clothes. I didn’t bring much with me,” you said.

“We can go out this afternoon. Although you would probably do best to remember your collar in public,” she said. You shot a hand to your neck, staring at them when another door opened and a greasy looking Dean entered the kitchen.

“Pete, where’d you put the…” he trailed off, looking at you. “Really? The literal one and only rule I had.”

“Can we please stop calling her Omega Y/N. It’s so old fashioned,” said Abby as she rolled her eyes.

“I don’t really think the poor girl should have to wear the collar at home, do you, Dean?” asked Peter.

“I’m sorry. I can…” you said as you stood up, heading for the hall.

“Hey,” said Dean, freezing you in your tracks. “Y/N.”

You turned around, finding a softer face then you anticipated.

“These three you can trust. I only said what I did about the collar so you get used to wearing it in case guests are here. These guys know what’s actually going on. Maybe if the collar is too much we all just make sure we know when other people are around,” he said.

“Does this mean we can not be so formal?” asked Peter.

“Yes, Pete. We can not be so formal in front of Y/N,” said Dean.

“And…”

“And all other house rules still apply, Abby,” he said, turning to you. “Not that I have many. Just when certain people come to visit which isn’t very often. There’s an expected degree of decorum for certain visitors. Otherwise, act however you want to.”

“You kind of live in this big house by yourself and pretend that the outside world doesn’t exist, don’t you?” you said.

“Pretty much,” he said. “Pete, my performance motor oil?”

“Bottom cabinet,” he said.

“Thank you,” said Dean as he headed out.

“I don’t get that guy,” you said, Abby back to cooking, Peter and Sally sharing a smile. “What?”

“Dean’s a good guy. He could have chosen any Omega he wanted, one he loved. Instead he chose you because it helped the most number of people,” said Sally.

“It’s not great here but-“ you said.

“Oh, sweetie. You don’t know how wrong you are. This is going to be the greatest place on earth for you.”

Two Days Later

“Are you still watching that?” asked Dean after dinner, sitting down on the couch with a bowl of ice cream. You’d been glued to the TV all day, watching the new referendums coming down in regards to Omegas. There’d be a vote on putting them into law in a few months but it seemed like the strict rules had a chance of actually passing.

“Where’s my old pack?” you asked.

“Canada,” he said with his mouth full. “This is depressing. Let’s watch something else.”

“You knew this was coming, didn’t you,” you said. Dean set his bowl down and flickered his eyes over to yours. “You knew.”

“I suspected. My family suspected. It’s why the marriage came together in like, two days. Getting people out will be harder now so we did what we could,” said Dean.

“You should have told people,” you said.

“Told them what? That Omegas were possibly getting all their rights taken away? That ones of age went on a list and were rattled off like cattle? People would have rioted,” he said. “It’s not law yet.”

“That would have been their choice,” you said.

“I am not the bad guy. Don’t forget that, Y/N. My family is still working this thing. There is finesse involved with it you don’t seem to understand,” he said.

“But your family only helped my pack out for-“

“Oh don’t be so naive. The world ain’t that black and white. I would have let you go with them if I could have. But we would have lost credibility to help other Omegas if people found out what we were up to so once again, stop looking at me like I’m some scum Alpha that took you off the street,” he said. You slumped back against the cushions and tossed the remote over to him, Dean turning on a baseball game. “Tomorrow you wear the collar all day.”

“Fuck you,” you said.

“What do you think will happen to you when some business associates come here with my father and see my new Omega wife unclaimed? You’ll be rounded up and given to the nearest Alpha,” he said. “You wear it so you’re protected, got it?”

“Fine. You don't own me though. I ain’t acting like some little puppy dog that follows you around either,” you said.

“Never said I wanted you to, sweetheart.”

“What?” you asked, pulling open your bedroom door the next day, Dean standing there in a dress shirt, tie and slacks. He handed you a white bag and you frowned, rolling your eyes. “Let me guess, you want me to wear whatever this is.”

“Something presentable as well. Government officials will be visiting this morning,” he said as he left you. You growled and snatched the bag, grumbling as you went to your closet. You plucked off a blue business dress Sally had recommended and threw it on, throwing your hair up in a bun. Sighing, you went to the bag and pulled out the white collar. It was far fancier than the simple black leather one you’d worn before.

You slipped it on and scowled in the mirror, twitching your eye.

“Dear,” you heard Dean say from the open bedroom doorway, eyes meeting yours in the  reflection. “Do try to not look like you’re ready to commit murder if you can help it.”

“You try wearing one of these things,” you grumbled.

“I have,” he said. You spun around, Dean smiling from where he leaned in the doorway. “I was mistakenly identified as Omega when I presented. For like only a day but god did it suck. That’s when my family changed, when they realized what life would be like for me if I’d actually been that way.”

“How do they mistake an Alpha for Omega?”

“Oh, there were political games being played. I was only just presenting. Easily identifiable Alpha features weren’t yet there...my family once was very traditional. Male Omegas look a certain way,” he said. “I almost ended up as one.”

“So you almost got fixed like a dog because of politics?”

“Yup. My mother threw a fit that night when we returned home after the error was discovered but even when she realized what my father was willing to do earlier on that day, she snapped at him. I always knew she was a strong Omega. But that night...it doesn’t matter how old the pup gets I suppose. An Omega that has their pup threatened is the scariest thing in this world,” he said.

“Is today another political game?” you asked.

“You’ll discover we have to play quite a few of them, unfortunately,” he said. “But while I ask you wear a collar and show some civility, I would like if you do act...yourself.”

“So you want to pretend you claimed a sassy Omega?” you asked.

“I want to show that a sassy Omega is a good thing. Baby steps, Y/N,” he said.

“Be careful what you wish for. Alpha.”

“Ah, it was about time you settled down and got yourself an Omega there, Dean,” said an old man you instantly disliked when you got downstairs. You smiled though, Dean introducing the three men along with Dean’s father to you.

“Choosing to keep her collared at home? Always a smart choice,” said another old man, Grumpy Face you’d decided to call him. You were pretty sure his real name was Hendricks.

“Oh, well, Dean is a smartie,” you said, grabbing hold of Dean’s arm.

“She speaks freely?” one asked and you bit your bottom lip to stop yourself from going too far.

“Of course, Reginald. This house has always been far too quiet. The conversation has been welcome,” said Dean.

“Surely you know in the long run that can’t be good for the poor thing,” said Carter, aka the one you hated the most, following Dean down the hall and headed for the back patio. You would have gone but John grabbed your wrist, Dean nodding when you two stayed back.

“Winchester’s have a knack for choosing strong Omegas apparently,” he said, taking his hand off you when you were alone. “Settle down. They are set in their ways. Dean will convince them eventually but only with your help.”

“My help. Oh yes. He needs my help,” you said.

“Yes. He does. We all do. I know you didn’t choose this. But you can do something good from a poor situation,” he said.

“Did you contact my dad?” you asked.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Dean saw you in the city one day. You were getting coffee. He believed you were...cute. There was some incident between you and an Alpha over a spilled drink and you never backed down for a second apparently. He quite liked that,” he said.

“And you found a way to give your son what he wanted,” you said.

“No. That was circumstantial. The fact you were part of the largest free thinking pack in the state was the selling point for me. Dean was quite angry when I told him what my plan was. The boy did want to marry out of love, not this. But he was willing to sacrifice that to help well over a hundred strangers. If you ever doubt what kind of man he is, remember that,” he said.

“I don't understand what I’m meant to do though,” you said.

“Be yourself. Go pretend that you’re claimed but that is all. Show them that an Omega is stronger than they know,” he said.

“You do all this simply because your son was almost Omega? He said you guys were a very traditional family,” he said.

“We were. Then we realized what we almost did to Dean. What I almost did to him. I almost took something from him. His mother went off on me and I thought of all I took from her as well. We are all equal in this pack. You have as much say in it as I do.”

“You know the referendums are barbaric,” you said.

“They are not yet law. Those three men out there are keys votes. Dean invited them today to talk and he wants you to be part of the conversation,” he said.

“No pressure or anything,” you said.

“You’ll be fine.”

You were lazily poking at the remnants of lunch, one of the old men, Carter, staring at you.

“Yes, Mr. Carter?”

“That is a beautiful collar,” he said.

“I suppose. I like yours too,” you said.

“I’m not wearing a collar, Omega.”

“My mistake. I see you wearing that tie and my little Omega brain goes someone left your leash on you,” you said, giving him a smile. Dean bit down a smile as you picked up your lemonade, John smirking as Mr. Carter cleared his throat.

“If you were my Omega, I’d have you muted,” said Carter.

“If I were your Omega, I’d off myself,” you said.

“You should look into sending your Omega to one of the training schools, Dean,” he said. “The mouth on this one is trouble.”

“Oh, Y/N was raised without the social conventions you’re used to, Mr. Carter. She’s quite fun in that regard,” said Dean.

“John. You’re pack leader. You should perhaps look into getting her into the Folly Academy,” said Carter.

“Dean is her Alpha, not I. Besides, the Folly Academy is an unkind place. Not fit for a Winchester as Y/N now is,” said John.

“You’re...quite right. A Winchester should never set foot in those halls,” he said.

“What’s it like not having a spine?” you asked, giving him a small smile.

“Control your Omega, Dean,” said Carter.

“Do I threaten you?” you smiled. “I’m collared and half your size. How tiny is that knot of yours if little ole me intimidates you.”

You weren’t expecting a slap in the face. You also weren’t expecting Dean to grab your arm when you picked up your fork, ready to stab anything belonging to Mr. Carter.

“Did you touch my Omega without permission?” asked Dean darkly.

“She was out of line,” he said.

“As her Alpha, I will punish her for any indiscretion, not you. We Alphas claimed the Omegas as there was the belief that they needed to be controlled, that they couldn’t control themselves. I see the Omega is the one at this table who has not raised her voice or attacked someone else, Mr. Carter,” said Dean. He released his grip on you. “Go. Have Peter tend to your cheek and wait for me in my room. I do not wish you near these Alphas any more today.”

You left and found Peter in the kitchen, following him up to your room.

“That looks like it hurts,” he said, dabbing a cotton ball of alcohol over the small cut.

“I’ve been hurt worse wrestling with other kids. Surprised the old goot didn’t have a heart attack and keel over from letting his heart rate get so high,” you said. Peter laughed and pressed an ice pack to your cheek. “Thanks.”

“I’ve cleaned up more than my fair share of bumps and bruises. Dean and his brother Sam often wrestle, even in adulthood. Playfully of course,” he said.

“Dean’s not actually going to punish me, right?”

“No, no. Part of the show. I would still wait in his room for him though,” he said. You reached up to the collar but he shook his head. “Not yet. Remember, it is for your protection when there are outsiders here.”

You nodded and left him, retreating to Dean’s room.

It was very beautiful inside but quite plain, like someone else had picked everything out for him and Dean didn’t actually use the space all that often. You sat on the edge of the bed, looking around until you lay back and stared at the ceiling.

Fifteen minutes later you heard the door open and Dean enter, the top button of his shirt undone and tie loose.

“Fucking assholes,” he mumbled, undoing his shirt, almost forgetting like you were there as he headed around a corner and you saw clothes flying in a closet. He sighed as he returned in a band tee and jeans, walking in front of you when you sat up. “Let me see your cheek.”

You moved the pack away, Dean nodding.

“It’ll heal fast. I’m sorry he did that. I wasn’t expecting him to get physical,” he said.

“I could have reined it in a little,” you said.

“Nah,” he said, laying back against the bed. “Nice crack about the tie. Even got dad with that one.”

“What’s the Folly Academy?” you asked. “I’ve never heard of it.”

“It’s a place rich people send Omegas to be taught things. Cooking. Cleaning. Being good in bed. Whatever the owner wants. An Omega goes in and a shell of a person comes out,” he said, turning his head up at you. “Carter was pissed when he left but Reginald and Hendricks actually liked you. They don’t care for Carter either.”

“Do you need all three votes?” you asked.

“Reginald is a shoo in. He has a secret Omega daughter no one knows of, lives in the sanctuary now. Hendricks is on the line but I believe a dinner with just us three this week will fix that. Carter was always a long shot. Maybe with time but I meant what I said. I don’t want you around an Alpha like that, even if you can kick his ass,” he said.

“Alright. Winchester,” you said. “If I find out you’re conning me and actually got a thing against Omegas though, I will tear you limb from limb.”

“I’d expect nothing less,” he said quietly. “If you could help me prove that I’m not the bad guy, I’d appreciate it.”

“May I take off my collar now, Alpha?” you teased.

“You may,” he said with a smile. “Change into some clothes you don’t mind getting dirty. I do need your help with something for a few minutes if you don’t mind.”

“Which way?” you asked, leaning over an engine, hand shoved so far down you couldn’t see a thing.

“Left,” said Dean underneath the car. You started and he chuckled. “Sorry. My left, not your left.”

“How do you do this by yourself?” you asked, finally feeling the thing go, pulling out a small square looking thing.

“A lot of tools and bruised knuckles,” he said, climbing out from under the car and taking it from you. “Thanks.”

“So you’re like a mechanic when you’re not busy being rich?” you asked. He chuckled, taking the part into the bench he had in the garage.

“I, Omega, just really enjoy working on cars. It’s fun. Plus I got a skill if shit ever hit the fan,” he said.

“Why do you live out here by yourself?” you asked.

“I can be myself here. No pretending,” he said.

“Pretend what?” you asked. He sighed and wiped his hands off. “Like how you pretend you don’t find me attractive.”

“Dad,” he grumbled to himself, turning to you. “Sure. I like the way you look. I like the way a lot of women look. I saw you months and months ago, Y/N, before this stuff came up. I just remembered how you’d acted with that Alpha and I knew you’d be tough enough to play your part in this.”

“What exactly is my part?” you asked.

“The independent Omega wife. It could be worse,” he said.

“It could. I still feel like I didn’t get a choice,” you said. He went further back in the garage and opened a cabinet, pulling out a black backpack and holding it up. “Yes…”

“It’s a go bag. You need to run, Hell I annoy you too much one morning, you’re always allowed to take this bag and leave. You can take it right now and leave if you want. I’ll even help you get up to Canada,” he said.

“But I need to stay, don’t I,” you said.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel like you have to. You can go if that’s what you want. You’ll be under a different name but you’ll be out of this mess,” he said.

“You’d actually do that for me, wouldn’t you,” you said.

“I give you my word that if you ever decide to leave, I drop everything and help you do it. Maybe if we can stop the law, get some fresh minds in the government, maybe things could be normal and you can go be with your pack then. If things go south and the law goes through, we’ll get you back with your pack. I promise,” he said.

“You’re my pack now,” you said.

“Y/N,” he said with a smile. “We signed a piece of paper. You don’t belong to me, Omega. You never will.”

“I…” you said, Dean waving the bag in front of you.

“Alright,” he said, setting the bag back in the cabinet. “It’s there if you change your mind.”

“Thank you for helping my pack,” you said.

“Thank you for helping mine,” he said.

“If you thought I was cute back at that coffee shop, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because there was no need to antagonize you further that day,” he said. “As I suspect you would have felt I was. Let’s forget that happened and we can go from here, okay?”

“So...what do you do on a normal day around here?”

“This for the most part. Sometimes I have lazy days but I’m normally out here in the garage,” he said. “I’m all set. You don’t have to hang out anymore if you don’t want. There’s a pool and the land is large to run around on if you like. Do what you want. I won’t bother you.”

“Okay. I’ll uh, go take another look around then.”

“Dinner was delicious, Abby,” you said as she was heading out for the day.

“I’m just glad to have someone in the house that doesn’t want a bacon cheeseburger for dinner every night,” she said.

“That actually sounds really good,” you said.

“Maybe I’ll make you one if Dean isn’t around,” she said.

“Did someone say bacon?” asked Dean, poking his head out of his office.

“I want to make burritos tomorrow,” she said.

“With bacon,” said Dean.

“I’m so sorry you have to live with him,” she teased. “Goodnight.”

“Night, Abby. Drive safe,” said Dean, locking up after her. “So. I realize I should have asked before as this is very, very important. Your thoughts on bacon?”

“Good. A little crispy but not too much,” you said.

“You want to live life on the wild side tonight, Omega?” he asked with a smirk.

“Uh, sure?”

“No way am I eating that,” you said, Dean humming as he took a bite in the kitchen. “Dean! That’s gross!”

“Um, excuse me but cheese covered bacon is amazing,” he said, waving a piece in front of you. “Come on. I dare you.”

“I dare you? What are we? At summer camp?” you asked, taking the bacon from him. “I eat this and I dare you to eat something healthy for breakfast tomorrow.”

“Deal. Now eat up,” he said, leaning back in his seat with a satisfied smirk. You closed your eyes and took a small bite, opening your eyes. “Good ain’t it?”

“That’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten in my life,” you said.

“Told ya,” he said. “I mean it’s like a gajillion calories but who cares.”

“Well Alpha, let’s try and not block all your arteries by the time you hit 35, hm?” you teased, taking another bite.

“But I’m a big strong, Alpha. I need things like meat and more meat,” he chuckled. “I know. My baby bro is big on health stuff. He keeps yelling at me.”

“Was he the tall one at the ceremony?”

“Yeah, that was Sammy. Sweetest Alpha you’ll ever meet. He wanted to say hi but he was nervous of making you afraid,” he said.

“He can like, come over and hang out if he wants,” you said.

“Is there anyone you would like to invite over? Your friends are allowed here,” he said.

“I don’t really...all my friends and family are gone now,” you said.

“You can still go, up to the Sanctuary if you want,” he said.

“If I stay I might be able to help other Omegas though, right?” you asked.

“Possibly, possibly not. The last thing I want is an unhappy Omega in this house,” he said.

“You were raised by your mom more than your dad if I had to guess,” you said.

“I was. But like you said earlier, you didn’t have a choice about this marriage. Now you do,” he said.

“Why?”

“Because an unhappy Omega won’t live in this house,” he said again. “Sleep on it, if you want to stay or not.”

“You’re...not what I thought you’d be,” you said.

“If I ever am, feel free to kick my ass, Omega.”

“Good morning,” you said, Dean eating an omelet on the back patio.

“You know, this isn’t as horrible as I thought it’d be,” he said, taking another bite of the dish.

“Egg whites are good for you,” you said, taking a banana off his plate. You peeled it and took a bite, Dean quietly eating beside you. “I thought it over.”

“Yes?” he asked. You took another bite, staring out at the yard.

“If I ever say I want to leave, you drop everything and take me that second, understand?”

“I understand.”

“Good,” you said, eating some more. “I want to know what I’m walking into next time with guys like Carter. You and your family treats me as a partner in all this.”

“We can easily do that,” he said.

“Alright,” you said. “That’s that I suppose.”

“You’re staying?”

“If there’s a chance to help, I’ll help,” you said. Dean smiled, looking at the table. “Were you expecting a different answer?”

“No. Happy you’re not seeing me as the villain anymore is all,” he said.

“You mentioned you wanted your own Omega,” you said. “If you found one to your liking, would you claim her?”

“If I found an Omega I loved and she loved me back, I would ask to bond with her,” he said. “Isn’t that how it was done in your pack?”

“Yes. Our Omegas don’t wear collars though and any mated Alpha is marked in return as show of their equality,” you said. “They-“

Dean stood up and scratched his ear, frowning at himself.

“Are you okay?”

“I did not realize the day. I will require privacy sometimes. I will see you tomorrow, Y/N,” he said before he took off towards the house.

“Okay…”

“Peter,” you said at dinner that night. “Where did Dean run off to?”

“I do not know. Somewhere in the basement I suspect. Dean forgot what today was I’m sure with all that’s been going on,” he said. You raised an eyebrow and he smiled. “He normally doesn’t like any staff to come in on his monthly me day. He forgot this month he scheduled it for today it seemed.”

“Alright,” you said. You chit chatted idly until the staff was gone for the day. Dean didn’t seem like the keep an Omega locked away type and if he had a rut, the timing didn’t make sense. You’d never been in the basement but there was an open set of stairs down.

There was a wet bar and movie theater room down there along with a set of doors down a hallway. One was a bathroom, one a large room for storage, one with a keypad and a do not disturb sign hanging on it.

“Well what do you got down here hidden away,” you said.

“None of your business,” he said right behind you. You froze, slowly turning to face at him. There was the scary Alpha face you knew he must have been hiding. “You may use the basement but you will stay away from this room, understand?”

“Suddenly I don’t trust you as much,” you said. He closed his eyes and stared over your head, opening them slowly.

“If I show you, will you never bring this up again?” he asked.

“Okay.”

He sighed and moved past you, punching in a code you couldn’t see before pushing open the door. Inside was a bedroom and private bathroom, Dean’s gaze flickering back to yours.

“It is sound proof and obviously there are no windows. I sleep here on occasion,” he said.

“Okay,” you said, holding up your hands. You spun around to leave, catching sight of a pet bed and blanket in the corner. “I didn’t know you had a dog.”

“Leave. Now,” he said, pushing you out of the room.

After a slightly awkward dinner with Mr. Hendricks the next evening, he assured Dean that he wouldn’t vote for the new Omega law. Dean had pretended the whole basement incident hadn’t happened and you didn’t go down there anymore and let him have his space there to himself.

He was generally very sweet, sometimes flirty, sometimes quiet and almost sad. But he’d kept his word and things were on a friendship level only which you were grateful for. He was easy to talk to and while the situation wasn’t ideal, you never felt trapped there. It’d started to feel like your home too.

Until you woke up one morning a month later to a quiet house, Dean staring at you in the kitchen.

“There will be no staff today. I will be busy again,” he said.

“I’ll stay out of the basement then,” you said.

“It’s not what you think,” he said after a beat.

“Hey. I’m not here to judge. I didn’t see anybody else down there so you do what you want down there buddy,” you said.

“I will see you at breakfast tomorrow.”

Later that evening a storm rolled in. The power stayed on but the wind was really starting to whip around and a tornado warning had been issued. You sighed and went down to the basement just in case, watching a movie on the big screen.

When it finished you went to check up on the weather outside, even if the thunder was still booming overhead.

That’s when you heard a whining. You quietly went to Dean’s open door over in the basement, more whimpers escaping from inside of it. Not the good kind either.

“Dean?” you asked, knocking softly on the door. “You okay?”

You were surprised when the door was just slightly ajar like that.

“Can I come in?” you asked.

You heard something akin to a bark and poked your head in, a shaking beautiful light brown colored dog tucked away on the bed with a blanket around himself.

“Hey,” you said softly, bending down. The dog turned away and shook more when the thunder cracked. “Just a little noise, sweetheart. You’re okay.”

You knelt next to him and the dog curled into your side, tucking its face away.

“Okay. You’re okay,” you said, patting his head, shaking your head when you saw no food or water bowl for the poor thing. “Next time I see you Dean, I am reaming you out a new one.”

You woke up with a sore butt and something heavy on your leg. You yawned and blinked open your eyes, a very confused looking Dean staring up at yours he lifted his head.

“Dude,” you said, Dean sitting up and tucking the blanket around himself.

His very naked self.

“Dean-“

“What are...why are you in here?” he snapped. “What did you see? Tell me.”

“Your dog was crying because of the storm,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “I get the feeling you don’t have a dog.”

“Forgot to shut the fucking door,” he mumbled, staring at you. “I...I can explain this.”

“Yeah. Why don’t you put on some pants and do that.”

Dean was fidgety on the couch after breakfast, asking the staff to stay away again for the day. You took a seat, Dean playing with the bottom of his sweats.

“Dean.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” he said. “Ever.”

“I won’t,” you said. He nodded, pulling his hands away.

“So...there was a reason I accidentally tested positive as Omega back in the day. Someone had been...altering my body without anyone’s knowledge,” he said.

“More games?”

“Yeah. They intended to make me Omega,” he said. “You know. They got those medicines you can give your kids to help their odds of presenting a certain way. Someone was giving me Omega ones...cut with something extra.”

“Can you turn into a dog?”

“Yes.”

“Cool.”

“Cool? Did last night look cool?” he said.

“Are you...like scared of storms?” you asked.

“Human Dean, no. The other one...it’s why the room is soundproof,” he said.

“Poor puppy,” you said, Dean shooting daggers. “Sorry. You were just really scared last night is all.”

“It’s something I’ve lived with since I was seventeen. It’s just a thing I deal with one day a month,” he said.

“Surely if you can do that to a person, there’s a way to fix it,” you said.

“There is,” he said. “It’ll set my body back in balance all the doctor’s say. Right now I’m Alpha like I’m supposed to be. But there are Omega...traits within me...along with the whole dog thing.”

“Why would someone want to make you an Omega? And a dog?” you asked.

“You really don’t want to know the answer to that,” he said. “I try not to think about it. You shouldn’t either.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No. I simply feel the urge come on and have the staff stay away. I change out of my clothes and sit down, then I’m another way. When I wake up the next morning I’m me again. Wagging a tail is a lot of fun actually,” he said.

“You...you don’t have to stay hidden away when that happens. This is your home after all. I’m the guest,” you said.

“This is your home too, Y/N,” he said. “So...the whole dog thing doesn’t freak you out?”

“Oh that’s fucking weird, don’t get me wrong,” you said. “But you had no choice. Someone tried to hurt you. Plus you said you can fix it, right?”

“If my body got back in true balance, I’ll be fully Alpha as I should be,” he said.

“How does that happen?”

“A mate,” he said with a shrug. “But there are worse things than being a dog for a day a month.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” you asked.

“Perhaps. The storm upset me more than I thought. My urge is still there slightly. I want to run the grounds for a few minutes if you think that won’t disturb you,” he said.

“No, go for it,” you said. He nodded and left, trotting through the kitchen on four legs a few minutes later. “Still freaky.”

He barked and wagged his tail, green eyes looking up at you.

“You understand me?”

He barked and put his snout in your hand, leading you to the back door and outside.

“Alright. Go run,” you said. He took off and started to sprint around the yard, long lunges and jumps accompanying him. You went out to the grass and watched him some more, Dean not acting quite like a dog. He looked like one and ran like one but he didn’t sniff the ground or go to the bathroom or do much of anything besides run around before he plopped down next to you. “Have fun?”

He barked, a smile in there, Dean barking again when you scratched his ear.

“Someone has a twisted sense of humor,” you said. He whined and pulled away, trotting back towards the house. “Dean, come on, it’s okay.”

He paused and sat down, letting you catch up and kneel down next to him.

“I meant to say, I’m sorry someone did this to you. You didn’t deserve that,” you said.

He let out a small bark and headed inside, back after a moment looking sweaty as he walked out in his sweats.

“You run really fast,” you said.

“Benefit of being a dog? That sucker loves to run whereas I do not,” he said.

“That’s how you get away with bacon cheeseburgers all the time, isn’t it,” you said.

“I’ll take my perks where I can get them,” he said. “Just...nobody outside my parents and Sam know about this.”

“Secret’s safe with me.”

“Hello Mr. Winchester,” said Peter a few days later. You whipped your head up from the study, a tall man walking inside. “Dean’s on the phone at the moment but should be done shortly.”

“Thanks, Pete,” said Sam, spotting you. “I think I’ll hang out in here for a while.”

Peter left Sam with you, Sam smiling when his eyes caught your bare neck.

“Sorry I haven’t been by yet to properly introduce myself,” he said.

“Dean says you’re a lawyer. I bet that keeps you busy,” you said.

“It does. My wife had our first pup not long before you and Dean were married though. I’ve been a stay at home dad lately,” he said.

“Oh. Just the one?” you asked.

“Winchester’s tend to have small litters,” he said, pulling out his phone and showing you the background, a three month old little girl appearing. “Her name’s Luna. Born during a full moon actually.”

“She’s cute,” you said.

“Yeah she is,” he said, tucking his phone away. “So...Dean says you know all about the family business now.”

“Yup,” you said.

“Good. You should come over sometime, meet Jess and the lil pup. They’re dying to meet you. I’d go insane if I had to live with Dean,” he said.

“Didn’t you live with him for like, years?” you joked.

“Yeah, Sammy. Best big brother ever right here,” said Dean, rounding the corner, ruffling Sam’s head. “Surprised Luna isn’t with you. You two are partners in crime from what Jess says.”

“They can use their bonding time too. I was just...you know what time of year it is. Saturday night,” said Sam.

“Yes, I do. I’ll even babysit,” said Dean.

“Dean. Jess isn’t going. You guys go this year,” said Sam.

“Sammy-“

“It’s one night. We were fine with going when you were flying solo but the pup at home and the new wife and the vote corralling…” he said. Dean closed his eyes. “Have her wear a collar, no one knows the difference.”

“You want me to bring an unclaimed Omega to that party? Besides being against the rules, if anyone finds out, she’ll be owned like that,” said Dean.

“Who’s gonna find out?” said Sam.

“I’m like literally right here you two,” you said.

“It’s a party full of guys like Carter. No, Y/N,” said Dean. “We leave the girls at home, you and I go together this year.”

“Dad says you guys should go. Make sure things are still good with Hendricks and Reginald, try to get Jameson too if you can,” said Sam.

“I thought Jameson was already done,” said Dean.

“Her Omega recently passed. She’s all over the place right now,” said Sam. “Come on. Please?

“I don’t mind. As long as I don’t have to wear that collar too long,” you said.

“You’re really going to get pissed off at the next part then.”

“I think it goes without saying but-“

“I touch the leash, pretty sure that’ll be the last thing I ever do,” said Dean, smiling at you in the passenger seat.

“Good boy,” you said. “You really are starting to get to know me.”

“I am sorry for this party,” he said as he drove. “You’re going to see some mistreated Omegas tonight. Very few are allowed off a leash.”

“Yeah, I get it,” you said, glancing out the window. He stopped at a red light, pausing before a hand reached over to your neck. You watched him but he simply undid the clip attaching the leash to the collar. He grabbed it from your lap and tossed it in the backseat. “You just said-“

“Yeah well, we ain’t getting you any rights if we go in like that. Just be careful tonight,” he said.

“What do you think Omegas should have rights to?” you asked. He chuckled, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Y/N. If I had my way, things would go back to how they were hundreds of years ago, before the dynamic happened. Equality and all that. I think people understand enough about our physiology now that it doesn’t control us like it did back then. But what we got is broken. It takes time to fix all that,” he said. “But you and I, nothing about you is better or worse than me.”

“You honestly think that?”

“I know you don’t think you’re less than me. I don’t think I’m greater than you,” he said.

“...just really hate this fucking collar,” you said, looking out the window.

“Make sure the people you talk to tonight know it.”

“Mr. Carter,” you said, giving him a nod when you and Dean wandered around the ballroom. He did a double take at you, Dean smirking slightly as the two of you headed for the bar and grabbed some drinks.

Dean spun around when you got there, leaning over to you.

“Every Omega in here is watching you right now you know,” he said.

“You really meant what you said about us being equals?” you asked.

“I did,” he said, getting a glass of champagne, your head tilting at the bartender when you didn’t get one. “One for my wife as well, please.”

He set one down in front of you and moved down to the other end of the bar, giving you a snobby look.

“What do you have planned?” asked Dean quietly.

“Got my back if I cause too much trouble?” you asked.

“Duh. Just be careful. I don’t want anyone hurting you again,” he said.

“Why?”

“You’re my friend,” he said softly.

“I’ll try not to pick any fights,” you said, pecking him on the cheek when you saw you still had an audience. “Sweetie.”

He chuckled as you grabbed your glass and left the bar without him, heading through the crowd of people until you found Mr. Reginald.

“Nice to see you again,” you said, the onlookers seeing to give up their interest in you for a moment. At least some of them had.

“Mrs. Winchester,” he said with a smile.

“Is your wife here tonight?” you asked.

“No. She hates these things. I always come alone,” he said.

“I can understand why,” you said, glancing over to an Omega doing her best not to roll her eyes at her husband.

“The attire for Omegas at this event is normally traditional,” he said, looking you up and down.

“Traditions were meant to be broken,” you said, sipping on your champagne.

“Some yes, I would have to agree,” he said. “There is an art to subtly though.”

“Any suggestions on Carter?” you murmured.

“Go dance with him. Show him your softer side,” he said. “You do have one. I’ve known Dean for quite some time. His Omega would be nothing less than equal parts fierce and kind. Carter believes Omegas are animals. Show him you’re a lady.”

“Never been very good at being one of those,” you said, turning away for a moment, raising an eyebrow. “He seriously thinks we’re the animals?”

“Apparently,” he said. You took a deep breath and found Carter across the room, his hand in a leash, waving it about as he spoke to a woman on her own. You saw the Omega by his side, older, the woman in a beautiful gown that didn’t match the sullen face she had.

“Mr. Carter,” you said, giving both the women a smile. “Y/N Winchester.”

“Ah. You must be the elder Winchester’s new wife. Chloe Jameson,” said the woman to your right. You looked at the Omega, her gaze going to the floor. “I see the rumors of the newest Omega Winchester being a rebel are true.”

“No reason you can’t be a classy rebel,” you said.

“Very true,” said Jameson with a smile. “Carter, leave your Omega with me. I know this girl talk bores you.”

He handed over the leash and left without a word, Jameson leading the three of you over to a table.

“You know that leashes are required for Omegas at this party,” she said.

“Oh I don’t need a leash to know who I belong to. Or who he belongs to,” you said.

“Curious thing to say about your Alpha,” she said.

“Well you’re an Alpha. Your part of the deal is to protect and love and care for your Omega, yes? Sounds like an Alpha is as bound as an Omega,” you said.

“Watch the tone, Omega. I cared very much for my Lucas,” she said.

“I didn’t mean you specifically, Mrs. Jameson. It’s not common for the Alpha to take the Omega’s last name after all. I suspect you loved him very much,” you said.

“It’s different when it’s out of love,” she said quietly, glancing at the Omega with you. “This is Farrow Carter. Perfect example of what is expected of an Omega in some people’s eyes.”

“Hi Farrow,” you said. She didn’t say a word but gave you a small nod. “You can talk around me. It’s okay.”

“I’m sure her Alpha doesn’t allow her to speak and as she’s under my supervision, his rules go,” she said.

“That’s a person you’re talking about,” you snapped, her chin lifting up. “Farrow is a person, just like you and me.”

“Farrow. Be a dear here and explain to Y/N who exactly you belong to,” she said. Farrow swallowed and grabbed Jameson’s hand, a barely there flicker rubbing across her face. “In the eyes of some, she is Carter’s. In hers, she’s mine.”

“She’s clearly mistreated. You can’t-“

“Farrow is good at what you call, the long con. We met at Lucas’ memorial service. I did love him but Farrow...she is my true mate,” she said. “Alphas always know right away. It’s crazy what they’ll do for their true Omega. In Farrow’s case, she’s claimed by another but Carter is old and a younger Alpha challenging his claim would be easy enough to win. You know how it is with your true mate. They’re your one, no matter what,” she said.

“So I take it you’re not going to vote for that bill then?” you asked.

“No. I never was although many of my colleagues never knew that,” she said.

“How do I know Farrow actually consents to this relationship?” you asked.

“Chloe is mine because I asked her to be,” said Farrow. You tilted your head, Farrow smiling before she wiped it off her face.

“Like I said, Farrow makes her own decisions, at least when it comes to us. And she gets a kick out of sneaking behind Carter’s back. Convincing Carter to get on the Omega bandwagon will be difficult,” she said. “Not impossible, just difficult.”

“I’m not afraid of a challenge,” you said, giving them both a nod. “Farrow...just because you have an Alpha, doesn’t mean they own you.”

“She knows,” said Jameson. “Go on. Young Mr. Winchester didn’t bring you here to secure already secure votes now did he.”

“No. I suppose not. Here goes nothing,” you said as you stood up. You slowly made your way back across the room, finding Dean speaking with Carter and another man you recognized as Hawkings, the man behind the referendum. Dean looked uncomfortable, Hawkings hand on his shoulder, and he breathed a sigh of relief when he spotted you. “Hello gentlemen.”

“So the Omega wandering around on her own belongs to you, Dean? I shouldn’t be surprised,” said Hawkings. You nodded, giving the man as friendly a smile as you could bare.

“Mr. Carter, could we have a moment?” you asked. Dean opened his mouth but you shook your head. “Oh, I think Mr. Carter and I will be fine, dear. We won’t be gone long.”

You took hold of Mr. Carter’s hand and led him over towards the dance floor, Carter staring at you a moment before he took the lead.

“What’s this all about?” he asked.

“You seemed bored,” you said. “And Dean isn’t one for dancing.”

“He’s always been a quiet Alpha. I was surprised to see his little outburst at lunch a few months back,” he said.

“He was frightened you would harm me. I’m sure you can understand that having an Omega yourself,” you said, Carter spinning you around.

“My Omega is property, nothing more,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“For what?”

“That you feel as though your Omega is property is all,” you said.

“You are property of Dean Winchester, Omega. You should remember that,” he said.

“No, I’m Dean Winchester’s Omega, his partner. He is my Alpha and my partner. That is what we are to one another,” you said, Carter missing a step. “I know you don’t agree with that but our relationship is good.”

“Omegas need to be controlled or else you’d throw yourself at any Alpha,” he said. “Case and point, you’re dancing with me right now.”

“Mr. Carter, you revolt me,” you said, Carter stilling. “I am dancing with you to help my Alpha get your vote against the referendums. It sickens me to be this close to you quite honestly. But my partner has asked me to assist him and I will assist him as best I can. Omegas don’t need control and they don’t need fear. They need Alphas that use their status to protect them, not hurt them. Unclaimed Omegas are not bad, Mr. Carter. Mated Omegas do not need to be kept under lock and key. All we would like is to be treated with respect. I don’t respect anyone that doesn’t return it to me, Alphas included. Honey attracts more flies than spice, Mr. Carter. Omegas are not sex crazed animals. They do not need an Alpha to do everything for them either. All they need is a partner, one that cares for them and one they can care for in return.”

“You’re talking about love,” he said.

“Fear and anger are powerful, Mr. Carter. In my experience, love is stronger. Love is the only thing stronger. Love will beat fear every time, even if it will take it’s time. There is nothing wrong with finding a mate you love. I simply wish you felt that way about your Omega. I can only imagine how much happier you’d be if you were in love,” you said, pausing as the song ended. “Thank you for the dance, Mr. Carter.”

“I still don’t like you, Omega. But I do respect you having the courage of an Alpha to speak freely like that to me,” he said.

“I have the courage of an Omega, sir,” you said. You nodded and turned to leave, Carter leaning down to your ear.

“Tell him you’ve got my vote. I was not always this way. I seem to have forgotten an Alpha’s true place in the world,” he said.

“It’s never too late, Mr. Carter,” you said. “Thank you.”

“You reek like Alpha mutt,” said Dean when you got in the car to head home.

“I hated that,” you said, scratching your collar as he started to drive. “Jameson, Carter and Dunlap are all locks against.”

“You got Carter?” he said. “How?”

“I spoke to him with less anger. He’s angry and lonely enough as is. I’m pretty sure we’ll be okay,” you said. “I was surprised to see Hawkings there.”

“Yeah,” said Dean, gripping the steering wheel.

“Want to talk about it?” you asked.

“Later, not now.”

“Dean,” you said, knocking on his bedroom door that night after you’d gotten home and changed. He was frowning when you pushed it open, sat in the middle of his bed and already wearing his pajamas. “You okay?”

“No,” he said, nodding for you to pull the door shut. You sat down on it across from him, noticing the light sheen of sweat on his forehead. “You know how...extreme stress can accelerate an Omega’s heats?”

“Wait, you get-”

“No, I don’t get heats. I mean, I just get the literally heat part of them sometimes. There’s medicine in my bathroom drawer if you wouldn’t mind grabbing it for me,” he said. You got up and found a bottle along with a glass of water, bringing it back to Dean. He looked better almost instantly, Dean unclenching his arms and leaning back against the bed as it kicked in. “Oh, thank you. So much better.”

“So I’m guessing you had some kind of extreme stress tonight that triggered that?” you asked.

“Yeah. Hawkings creeps me out but I’m sure you guessed that already,” he said as he sat up.

“Did he threaten you about the vote?” you asked.

“He knows the vote is going to fail and that’ll be a big setback for him. It’ll probably ruin him for good actually. He knows if I suddenly start acting like a big Alpha asshole though, it’ll help him win back votes,” he said. “You know, start treating my Omega wife like the rest of them. Show them I don’t actually care about you.”

“He threatened me?”

“I’m not going to do any of that, Y/N,” he said with a smile. “You’re my friend. I won’t ever hurt you. It’s my job to protect you after all.”

“You’re not really my Alpha, Dean,” you said, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Even if you are my husband.”

“Yeah but I like you. I know it was only a scratch but it bothered me when Carter hit you like that,” he said, offering you a half-smile. “I think it’s better if neither one of us leaves the house for a while, lay low until after the vote.”

“What’d he threaten to do to you?” you asked.

“Finish what he started when I was seventeen,” said Dean, tilting his head back and closing his eyes.

“Hawkings was the one that did that to you back then, wasn’t he,” you said, Dean nodding as he looked forward, glancing at his lap. “Why would he want to make you Omega? And a freaking dog?”

“My family has always been influential in the government. He and my father don’t get along. Hawkings wanted me to be Omega so he could claim me, own me. It’d give him total control over our family with that threat in the air. The dog thing came about because he owns some kind of genetic lab. On the books they help weed out bad genes but in reality they do super shady stuff like splicing DNA. The dog thing would be much slower to take effect completely but if he’d gotten what he wanted, it would have made me his Omega...his literal Omega bitch if you want to use that term,” he said.

You blinked a few times, Dean pursing his lip and staring at the bedspread.

“Hey,” you said, grabbing Dean’s chin and tilting his head up. “You’re not an Omega bitch. You’re Dean fucking Winchester, the best Alpha I’ve ever known. You’re what a real Alpha is, you got that? Hawkings ain’t going to get anywhere near you.”

“He thinks I’m mated so he should leave us alone for now. I think we should at least consider getting you to Canada before everything goes bad though. The vote is in a week. There’s time to get you up to your pack,” he said.

“You’re my pack,” you said. He closed his eyes and turned away, eyes meeting yours though when you turned his chin back. “So what if we’re not mated. You’re my friend. I’m not leaving you here to get forced Omega and to become that guy’s freaking dog and have him humiliate you. You gave up having a relationship out of love to do a good thing for my pack and I’m okay with being with a man like that. I’m more than okay with that. We’re in this together, okay?”

“I don’t know if I can protect you,” he said.

“Well we’ll figure it out. We lay low until the vote and then we deal with whatever happens afterwards.”

Two Weeks Later

The vote hadn’t passed thankfully and now there was a new referendum up to give Omega’s more rights. It seemed that whatever influence Hawkings had died out along with his vote.

Which left him with a lot of time to stew and get pissed at Dean.

“Dean,” you called when you stepped out of your room around dinner time. He’d been working in the garage longer than normal that day and hadn’t joined you for lunch. “Dean.”

You jogged downstairs, the staff seemingly gone for the day, a tupperware container still in the fridge for you to heat up.

“Dean,” you called again.

“Dean isn’t home,” said Peter, appearing from around the corner.

“Oh. Did Abby head home early? Dinner’s already in the fridge,” you said.

“Yes, she wasn’t feeling well so I sent her home after lunch. I attempted to prepare something for you and Dean. I hope it’s up to Abby’s standards,” he said.

“Oh you didn’t have to do that,” you said with a smile. “Thank you though. Do you have any idea where Dean went or when he’ll be back?”

“No. He was missing another part for the engine he’s restoring. I’m sure he’ll be back in a few hours,” he said.

“Alright. You can head home Peter, I don’t mind hanging out by myself,” you said.

“Sure thing Mrs. Winchester,” he said. “Would you like to see the Gardena’s I potted this morning for the front steps?”

“Sure. You always make up such beautiful plants,” you said, tilting your head a little as you followed him to the front door, finding it odd he was suddenly being formal. You slipped on your sneakers though, Peter opening and closing the drawer of the front table quickly when you were bent over, his hands around your neck, tying a collar on it.

One with a lock.

“What the-” you got out before he threw a hand over your mouth.

“Mrs. Winchester,” he said, staring for a long moment. You let him take his hand away and you followed him outside. “Hawkings has Dean downstairs. He broke in not long ago. He doesn’t know you’re unclaimed or here at the moment. I’m sorry for that but now he can’t get the collar off if he tries anything.”

“What do you mean he has Dean downstairs,” you growled.

“I mean, he is force feeding drugs to Dean. He’ll be Omega soon at the rate he’s doing it,” he said. “I suspect he’ll try to claim him after.”

“Did you call the police?” you asked.

“No,” he said.

“Why the fuck not?”

“You are not the only one with a family, Y/N,” he said with a scowl. “Retreat to your room, lock the door and call the police. Don’t go anywhere.”

“Go home, Peter,” you said. “Get your family someplace safe. I’ll deal with Hawkings.”

“They are in Dean’s room downstaris. I don’t know the code,” he said.

“5730. If you don’t hear from me, tell the police it,” you said, giving him a smile before you jogged back inside. You locked up after him and went to the stairs, dashing up them and into your room. You called the police and they gave you the same message about staying put Peter had but you knew Dean lived far out away from town. Help for Dean was at least thirty minutes away.

“Dammit,” you said. You grabbed a knife from the kitchen and went down to the basement, staring at the shut door at the end of the hallway. There was no way to be secretive about using the only entrance so you punched in the code and jumped straight back, knife up. All you saw was Dean passed out on the bed, a tube in his arm, and no other sign of anyone.

“Hello Omega,” said Hawkings from behind you, knocking the knife from your hand and grabbing you by the back of your neck. He tossed you into the room and kicked the knife into the hall, slamming the door shut behind him.

Dean groaned on the bed and blinked open an eye.

“Hey,” he said wearily.

“Save the reunion for later,” said Hawkings, stalking over to you. “Don’t be stupid, Omega. Think of this as your chance at freedom. The second he’s Omega, your bond is broken and you get a fresh start. I honestly don’t care about you. You can go. All I want is him.”

“I don’t really agree with that plan so I’m going to say pass,” you said. Hawkings grabbed your leg and yanked you closer to him, quickly on top of you and pinning you down. “Good luck claiming me, asshole.”

“Peter cares far more about his family than he does you, Omega,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a key. “Omegas are to be kept collared unless being claimed. At least he understands that. He may be Beta but at least he understands that.”

“You try and take this thing off of me, I’ll rip out your throat,” you said.

“It seems I’ll be taking home two Omegas today,” he said. He quickly undid the collar, Dean grunting as Hawkings titled your head back. “Where’s your mark?”

“Go fish,” you said.

“Where is your mark?” he growled.

“He didn’t mate me because I didn’t consent to a barbaric old ritual where I had no say. I’m not property and he knows that,” you shot back.

“Oh, he made a mistake,” he said.

You heard a snarl in the room, both your and Hawkings heads whipping up to see a growling dog suddenly on top of the bed, baring its teeth. It barked and hopped on top of Hawkings, growling on unsteady legs.

“Oh look. It’s my mutt,” said Hawkings. “You should really just let me shove that tube back in your arm, boy. You’re gonna be a whole mess of hormones if you stay all doggie like that.”

Dean growled and jumped in front of you, Hawkings smirking when Dean lunged forward but got yanked back on a leash around him.

“That is why Omegas are to be leashed,” he said.

“Dean,” you said, running a hand over the gasping dog’s head, finding the latch to the collar there. “Go get him.”

You undid it, Dean pouncing on top of Hawkings when he was free. He bit into something as you turned away, a few shouts and grunts and growls lasting until you turned back and Hawkings was out cold on the floor. Dean limped back into the room, looking very human all of a sudden as he dropped to the floor.

“Hey, hey,” you said, Dean groaning as he rolled to his back. “Dean. What’s wrong?”

“It’s trying to change,” he whimpered. “My body. It hurts.”

“Dean,” you said, Dean gasping for breath. “Oh fuck it.”

You got down on the ground and pulled his face to your neck, baring the skin to him.

“Do it. Now. It’s okay.”

Dean’s teeth tore through the flesh of your neck instantly, a strange pleasure pain stealing the air from your lungs.

You were supposed to be having sex when you were claimed. You were supposed to be getting knotted. You were supposed to be feeling the most incredible connection of your life forming.

All you managed to feel was yourself pass out a few seconds later.

“Hm?” you hummed, looking around the front hall you were laying on a stretcher in, Dean padding over with a blanket around his shoulders. “Dean?”

“Hey, sweetheart. Did you know apparently the reason we’re supposed to have sex when we bond is to help the bonding process not be too overwhelming? Hence why the cops found us both passed out,” he said. He stroked his hand over your hair, smiling as you shut your eyes. “Thank you for saving me.”

“Did they get him?”

“Mhm. The guys that had Peter’s family too. He feels horrible apparently for doing what Hawkings told him,” said Dean, helping you sit upright. You opened your eyes, Dean running a thumb over your cheek. “Thank you.”

You smiled, narrowing your eyes when you saw a bite mark on his neck.

“You claimed me too, Omega after you ripped that freaking collar off. That’s how your pack, our pack does it, hm? We claim one another?” he said.

“I don’t remember doing that,” you said, tasting the remnants of blood in your mouth. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said.

“So no more doggie super powers?” you asked.

“Just regular old boring Alpha Dean now,” he said with a smile, tracing his finger down to your arm. “You want to go to the hospital?”

“Do I have a choice?” you laughed.

“Nope. They want to check me out and make sure I’m okay too,” he said. “Come on Omega.”

Two Weeks Later

“Y/N, you seen my socket wrench?” asked Dean, wiping off his hands as he walked out to the back patio around lunch.

“You keep losing it in the bottom drawer of the tool box,” you said, sipping on your lemonade with a smile. He smiled when he saw your father sitting there eating a sandwich. “Dean, this is my dad.”

“Hello sir. Sorry, I thought you weren’t getting in until later tonight,” said Dean, trying to clean off his hands on his shirt.

“It’s fine, Dean. I got in a little early to spend some time with my girl. She’s had a busy few months.”

“That she has,” said Dean.

“She did neglect to say she was mated on the phone though,” he said.

“It was consensual,” you said with a smile.

“I find that hard to believe,” he said, staring back at Dean.

“Dad,” you said. “Dean’s my friend, my best friend. I claimed him too.”

“I still find it hard to believe,” he said. “To be honest, I thought you’d never let an Alpha claim you.”

“Yeah well...Dean’s not any regular Alpha. Case and point, look around at what happened with the law last week,” you said.

“More rights for Omegas,” he said with a nod. “I did a bad thing to you, Y/N. I’m sorry. I hoped this family was what they said they were and you’d be safe with them. I didn’t realize you’d make a whole lot more Omegas safe too.”

“Well you could have picked a worse Alpha for me,” you said, giving Dean a smile. “I’ll show you where the wrench is.”

“Thanks sweetheart,” he said. You hummed as you followed him inside and to the garage, digging through the drawer and pulling it for him. “So, I kind of knew that was there all along.”

“I figured as much,” you said, leaning up and pecking on kiss on his lips. “Alpha.”

“Making me all fuzzy there, Omega,” he said.

“Husband,” you teased, Dean shaking his head. “I know our parents are both in for dinner tonight but tomorrow do you want to go out on a date?”

“Mhm. I like dating you,” he said.

“Normally you do the dating and then the marriage part, not the other way around,” you said.

“We’re unconventional. Sue us,” he said, kissing the tip of your nose. “I’ll be done soon and then I’ll be in to hang out with you and your dad, m’kay?”

“Sounds good, Alpha,” you said. “Don’t take too long now.”

A/N: Read the follow up spin off here!

[miniaturestarlightsandwich]

Download Ad Blocker For Mac Free

Written by Eyeo GmbH

Free Ad Blocker Windows 7

Ad Blocker For Mac Safari Free Download

Best Free Ad Blocker Mac

Ad Blocker For Macbook Air

Best Free Ad Blocker

Category: Productivity

Release date: 2019-11-27

Licence: Free

Software version: 2.1.0

File size: 19.24 MB

Compatibility: Windows 10/8.1/8/7/Vista and Mac OS X 10.12.6

Adblock Plus for Safari for PC and Mac Screenshots

Adblock for Mac, free and safe download. Adblock latest version: Block ads in Google Chrome. UBlock, the fastest, most powerful ad blocker for Mac is here. UBlock blocks all annoying pop-ups and ads while you browse on your Mac. It’s simple, easy-to-install, and best of all- completely free. Download uBlock ad blocker for Mac and browse faster today.

Key Features

Latest Version: 2.1.0

Licence: Free

Rated 3/5 By 740 People

What does Adblock Plus for Safari do? Adblock Plus for Safari is a totally free ad blocker that allows you to block annoying ads on your favorite websites and video channels. Simply install the app, and see the web in a better way. No more pop-ups, banners or autoplay ads. The Adblock Plus app for Mac supports great websites with Acceptable Ads (on by default). Don’t want to see any ads? Simply deactivate Acceptable Ads. You can also have the option to whitelist websites you trust.By downloading and installing the application, you agree to our Terms of Use. https://adblockplus.org/terms

Download for MacOS - server 1 --> Free

Download and Install Adblock Plus for Safari

Download for PC - server 1 --> MAC:

Download for MacOS - server 1 --> Free Thank you for visiting our site. Have a nice day!

PC Compactibility/Requirements for Installation

Compactible OS list:

Windows 10

Windows 8.1

Windows 7

Windows Vista

Free Ad Blocker Windows 7

Requirements for MacOS Installation

Ad Blocker For Mac Safari Free Download

Intel, 64-bit processor, OS X 10.7 or later.

Compactible OS list:

OS X 10.10: Yosemite

OS X 10.11: El Capitan

macOS 10.12: Sierra

macOS 10.13: High Sierra

macOS 10.14: Mojave8

macOS 10.15: Catalina

Adblock Plus for Safari - how do I download the app on PC?

If you want to download the software on your pc or mac, you could either first visit the Mac store or Windows AppStore and search for the app OR you can easily use any of the download links we provided above under the 'Download and Install' header section to download the application

Adblock Plus for Safari - Is it safe to download?

Yes. The app is 100 percent (100%) safe to download and Install. Our download links are from safe sources and are frequently virus scanned to protect you

By Glendale2x

New framework seems to have performance issues

This version of ABP for the new Safari framework unfortuantely seems to kill performance on my computers. Maybe it’s partially related to them being a bit older (one is a Mid 2011 Mini, the other is a 2012 iMac), but with ABP enabled I can’t even open a new tab/window and type a URL into the bar and expect Safari to accept the input without having to hold down the return key until it goes or wait a minute after opening a new tab or window. I also noticed that using Twitter was jumpy and lagged even with simple typing, it felt like all the dynamic content it relies on was just struggling to be processed through whatever framework Apple is forcing. Hopefully the devloper can figure out the performance issues because it’s really, really bad now.

By Ramblin'Rose

why isn’t this working?

I have ABP and it wasn’t perfect but worked fairly well for my needs. Recently, it simply disappeared. (I see someone else said that could be from the latest iOS update, but I don’t have that on my desktop yet). When I tried to reinstall, it showed me two boxes to check. The way I read it, if you checked the box that said you wanted the icon visible in the toolbar, it would be able to read sensitive information of all kinds on any page. What good is an app of any kind that allows for that?! As it was, with only the one box checked, it only blocked very few ads, and I was still getting requests from sites to be whitelisted without being able to fnd any way to do it. I’ve got all kinds of garage showing up on my Facebook page, and you guys have ruined what was a reasonable product. WHY?

By PeopleRsad

Still works for me

Almost didn’t download the new version based on the recent reviews, however after looking at the other apps here that claim to be ad blockers I didn’t’t see too many alternatives. I decided to go ahead and get the new version and so far its pretty much the same as the old version, lots of ads blocked. I’m happy, just make sure you go through the simple set-up.

By achilds19

Works well but

After much research, I understand the issue with Apple changing the rules on the devs so they had to build this app from scratch. Works well for me so far, except for one annoying problem. I use Yahoo mail and it's not hiding the ad that appears in the top line of the inbox even with unchecking the Acceptable Ads box, which is super annoying. I know the devs are watching these reviews, so if someone can point me to an extension or something that will fix that, I'd appreciate it. Was using AdGuard and it fixed that problem, but that app behaves like spyware and is constantly running in the background even after you close Safari.

Advertisement

Adguard for Mac v.1.1.0Adguard is the first standalone adblocker for Mac OS X. It is an ultimate program has all the features to ensure more efficient and comfortable use of the Internet. Ad blocking, phishing and malware protection, and privacy protection!

SlimBoat for Mac v.1.1.6SlimBoat is a fast and secure FREE web browser software with a lot of powerful features, such as intelligent form filler, popup blocker, adblocker, social network integration, download manager, web page translation, quick search and site groups.

Safari AdBlocker for Mac OS v.1.9.8.6The only 64-bit adblocker built for Mac OS X 10.5+ to integrate directly into Safari, for minimum disruption to your browsing experienceMain Features- Adblock Plus subscription support- Right-click to block images, and frames- Automatic ...

Vivaldi for MacOS v.3.2.1967The Vivaldi browser lets you be in control of how your browser looks, feels and works. It does not track you, adapts to your style with features that you need and has values that you can stand by.

Maiar Browser v.80.0.1.40Maiar is an extremely fast and privacy-friendly browser for the modern web. It loads major websites 2-8 times faster than Chrome and Safari. Maiar can block ads without modules or extensions.

Izenda Ad Hoc - Express Edition v.4.0Izenda Ad Hoc - Agile Business Intelligence for ASP.NETLiberate Your Organization's Relational Data Today!Izenda Ad Hoc empowers business users to directly explore relational data from a web browser. * Intuitive and Completely Web-Based AJAX Report ...

Avian Freeware Suite v.0.1Avian Freeware Suite (AFS) provides two things: Developers with libraries for Java Swing Widgets, XML handling, Fortran95 and Pascal; End users (Medical students, doctors, scientists) with productivity tools they can use (quizzes, XML databasing & ...

IP Blocker v.20050403IP Blocker is an incident response tool that automatically updates access control lists on Cisco routers and other devices. Web and command line interfaces are both supported, as is logging, email notification, and automatic expiration of ...

QR-Code Maker Freeware v.1.0.0Use QR-Code Studio to create QR codes for free. An assistant simplifies the creation of QR codes for mobile tagging, social media and more. The generated QR-Codes are available immediately as BMP, GIF, JPG, PNG and TIFF graphic file.

Freeware Advanced Audio Coder v.2.2.7FAAC is an Advanced Audio Coder (MPEG2-AAC, MPEG4-AAC). The goal of FAAC is to explore the possibilities of AAC and exceed the quality of the currently best MP3 ...

Zhang Hong's Freeware v.1.0[1] English-Portuguese-Chinese Dictionary [2] Japanese-English-Chinese Dictionary [3] MP3 Sponge [4] JPG Sponge [5] RedDays [6] RadSensor [7] descriptions and updates: ...

Mimosa Scheduling Software Freeware v.6.5.8Mimosa is a scheduling and event planning software application for use to create timetables in any kind of school and university of varying type and size. It is also used to schedule conferences and work-shifts in business and industry environments.

Flash Banner Maker for Mac v.1.00With AnvSoft Flash Banner Maker for Mac, you can easily create gorgeous flash banners in SWF format and html file for flash intros or for building website. You can add any image backgroud from your hard drive and choose from the 50+ animation effects for.

BiblePlayer for iPod v.1.1Take God’s Word to Go! Do you need to have a daily dose of bible scriptures? Or maybe you need a bible reading plan? Now you can read and listen to the King James version of the Bible on your iPod with this new freeware program. Bibleplayer ...

Mach-O OSAX v.0.1Mach-O OSAX is a scripting addition for CodeWarrior which provides different samples. The package is completly freeware and the source code is ...

QuickCart v.2.2QuickCart 2.2 is regarded as a flexible and handy program which is designed to run your own web shop. Freeware and easy to use e-commerce solution is designed to run Your own web shop. As a database it uses files structure so that the SQL database is ...

Flippagemaker PDF to Flash (SWF) for Mac v.1.0.0Flippagemaker Free PDF to Flash (SWF) for Mac is freeware for Mac users to convert pdf to swf flash video. Create Macromedia Flash (SWF) file from Adobe PDF file for embedding into web page easily.

DVDSmith Movie Backup v.1.0.0DVDSmith Movie Backup is DVD Decrypter, DVD copying Freeware to backup, clone or copy DVD movie to computer as DVD folder and removes all the protections (CSS, RC, RCE, APS, UOPs and Sony ARccOS) while copying.

Hubblescreensavermac v.1.0'Hubble Space Telescope (Mac) free screensaver containing 99 high quality NASA-ESA space images. Screensaver designed by the Creative Department, an award winning advertising and interactive agency based in Cincinnati. Fully functional freeware.' ...

MediaHuman Audio Converter MAC v.1.8MediaHuman Audio Converter is a freeware for Mac OS X. It can help you in case you need to convert your music in WMA, AAC, WAV, FLAC, OGG or Apple Loseless format. This program was designed to simplify as much as possible the process of conversion.

Best Free Ad Blocker Mac

Freeware Ad Blocker software by TitlePopularityFreewareLinuxMac

Ad Blocker For Macbook Air

Today's Top Ten Downloads for Freeware Ad Blocker

Best Free Ad Blocker

Zoiper Webphone ZOIPER webphone is fully-compliant with Internet Explorer,

1000apps NetVibes Widget Avec ce Widget vous pourrez rechercher des logiciels ,

Vivaldi for MacOS The Vivaldi browser lets you be in control of how your

QR-Code Maker Freeware Use QR-Code Studio to create QR codes for free. An assistant

Flash Banner Maker for Mac With AnvSoft Flash Banner Maker for Mac, you can easily

PC Protect Your PC First screensaver application protecting your PC from

Flippagemaker PDF to Flash (SWF) for Mac Flippagemaker Free PDF to Flash (SWF) for Mac is freeware

DVDSmith Movie Backup DVDSmith Movie Backup is DVD Decrypter, DVD copying

Maiar Browser Maiar is an extremely fast and privacy-friendly browser for

BiblePlayer for iPod Take God’s Word to Go! Do you need to have a daily

Visit HotFiles@Winsite for more of the top downloads here at WinSite!

[playitaagain]

a day in the life || jj x pope

Pope has a 24 hours shift at the hospital and JJ doesn't sleep.

read on ao3

JJ doesn’t like being home alone. He had been so sure as a kid that living alone would be amazing. He wouldn’t have his father hanging over his head, fist ready. He wouldn’t have to worry about quiet steps, an attempt not to wake up a drunken man. He would just have to worry about himself. He would be able to do his own thing, be his own provider. 

That isn’t how it went though. He spends most of his nights at John B’s growing up and after the disappearance of his friend, he found himself staying over Pope’s. When John B came back (cleared of murder charges that JJ still isn’t sure how he got out of), he basically moved in with the other. It was around the same time his relationship with Pope changed to one that involved a little more romance and sex. It was probably good he had moved out before Pope’s parents caught them. 

It was the nights he was alone in these places that were always the hardest. There was always a noise to distract him from his thoughts, friends puttering around the house. When no one was around, he had nothing to keep his mind off his life. He had nothing to distract him. It’s how he ended up staying at John B’s long after he could afford to move to a small place of his own. It was how he found himself living in a small apartment with Pope, who was currently working a double at the hospital just down the street. 

It was also how JJ found himself lying on the couch, tracing a crack on the ceiling he could easily fix but the building manager won’t let him without a license. It’s complete bullshit, but Pope takes it all in stride. He’s the level headed one of the pair, despite some of the shit they got into during high school. He simply shrugs and says that it adds personality to the place. JJ doesn’t agree, wants their home to be perfect. It’s JJ’s first home with someone he loves, who loves him, but JJ is broken and cracked just like that ceiling and Pope doesn’t try to fix him either. 

The day had gone by slower than usual. The shop had been slow, but they had still allowed JJ to stay late, to play around with some of the stuff in the shop. He’s happy the owner trusts him to close up the shop, putter around and work on some of his small projects for a little extra money. 

It’s only just so long that someone can hang out in an old, dirty, oil smelling place though and he ends up trudging home at nearly 8 without any food in mind. It's one of those nights he thinks he’ll just grab a bowl of cereal and forget about cooking anything, no matter how much he enjoys doing so. 

The couch is inviting after the bland cereal (Pope won’t let him buy the good stuff on account of their health) and that’s how he finds himself staring at the crack along the ceiling. He has texted John B a few times, but the other is off doing his own thing tonight (it’s date night or something) and has told JJ they’ll talk later. Even Kiara has brushed him off at this point, busy saving some animal or another on an island that JJ can’t pronounce the name off. 

It leaves the sound of infomercials playing in the background as he tosses a stress ball Pope has lying around the house. He hates nights like these. He ends up spending them on the couch, teetering on the edge of sleep until Pope finally comes home. He’s lucky he’s off tomorrow or else he would probably be half asleep on the job. 

The problem with sleeping alone is that the nightmares come back tenfold. When Pope is there, holding him close, it’s easier to forget about the hand of his father. It’s easier to remember that at least somebody loves him in this cruel cruel world. The infomercial lulls him to sleep eventually, but it doesn’t last long. He is springing up less than an hour later, tired and panicked as he tries to calm his heart beat. It’s been years since he has lived with his father and he is still haunting his dreams. Pope says it’s a normal part of PTSD, but JJ just thinks it makes him look weak. He hates that he is still dealing with this years later. 

Pope does his research though and walks JJ through some deep breathing. JJ does just that now. He likes it better when Pope is there, sitting across from him, holding him as they breath together. Pope never says anything, but he always knows what to do. He always knows when JJ is starting to crack under the pressure or when JJ wakes from a terrible nightmare. JJ still feels bad he wakes Pope up, but Pope is always so nice about it. He could never be mad at JJ for stuff like that and that’s one of the reasons JJ loves him so much. 

JJ spends the rest of the night going in and out of consciousness until his own alarm startles him at 6:30. Pope won’t be back for another hour and JJ gets to work on a breakfast of champions for him. 

That’s one thing JJ found out he enjoys a lot. When he was living with his father, cooking was a necessity, the only way he was going to get food. He remembers cooking eggs before he could even do multiplication. This was different though. He wasn’t making food to survive. He was making food to thrive. 

Cooking was an outlet for him. It was freeing in a way that gave him guidance while also being able to experience and create new things. The recipes were simply a suggestion (unlike baking, which is why he hadn’t liked baking nearly as much) and JJ found he enjoyed being able to experiment. Pope was a good sport too. He tries everything JJ makes, even when it is complete and utter shit. The other would put on a smile, proud and warm and loving, and pretend to like it. JJ will simply roll his eyes and tell the other to cut the crap and stop eating whatever shit he made that night. They would always go to their favorite pizza place when JJ messes up a recipe. 

It was different when something came out good. Pope would look at him with so much pride it would make JJ’s heart swoon. Pope would always chow down when JJ made something good, moaning around his fork in a way that made JJ want to ravish him (and he usually did). JJ was always happy when he cooked something good just so he could see that look on Pope’s face. 

He decides to play it safe this morning though. French toast is one of Pope’s favorites and he knows the other will want something indulgent after his shift. JJ can tell he struggles when he’s on a 24 hours rotation, dragging himself into the house after and sleeping all day before he has to drag himself back to work. JJ worries, but Pope reassures him that it will all be worth it once he finishes his residency. He just has to get a few more years in and then he’ll be able to take a small step back (he always stresses the small) and hopefully start toward his real goal of opening a small medical clinic back at the cut. 

JJ always loses himself in his cooking and today is no different. He actually is so lost in his project that he doesn’t hear the front door open and close and doesn’t realize Pope is home until arms wrap around his waist, a sleepy face appearing on his shoulder. It startles JJ, nearly knocking Pope’s head from his shoulder before he finally catches sight of the other. “Sorry for scaring you,” Pope yawns, head shifting so he can stuff his nose in JJ’s neck. 

“How was work?” JJ asks, just pulling the last of the French toast off the pan. He turns off the stove before he turns around, allowing the other to burrow his head into his neck, arm slinking around his waist to pull him closer. 

“Fine. Just tiring,” Pope mumbles against his skin. JJ simply presses his lips to the other’s temple, arms giving the other a little squeeze before they pull away from each other. Pope takes that opportunity to bring his hands up to JJ’s face, thumb rubbing back and forth in a soothing manner. “You didn’t sleep.” It’s not a question but an observation and JJ simply shrugs in answer, leaning forward to give the other a peak before he takes the french toast to their small kitchen table. 

“Nah, I just hate sleeping without you. Wanted to wait,” JJ brushes off, grabbing the maple syrup and placing it on the table. Pope frowns, but doesn’t seem to have the energy to argue as he trudged over to the table. 

They eat in relative silence, a normal occurrence when Pope has a 24 hours shift. The other is often too worn out to even process words and JJ doesn’t like to push, doesn’t want to make it harder for Pope by sharing his own worries about his long hours. Pope’s heard them before and they’ve talked about it. It never stops JJ’s worries though. 

“Thanks for breakfast,” Pope mumbles, a small smile on his lips as he places his plate in the sink. The dishes can be done later. JJ is already feeling the lack of sleep and all he wants to do is curl up in bed with Pope, thankful for the fact he doesn’t have to work today. 

JJ simply gives a smile in answer, fingers going to lace with Pope’s as he pulls him toward the small bedroom. 

It’s the usual routine. Pope has always taken care of JJ, helped him without question, and this is the one time where JJ really feels like he gets to take care of the other. 

They stand in the middle of the room, Pope’s eyes drooping closed as JJ pulls his shirt over his head. He presses a kiss to the other’s cheek before placing one over his heart, fingers moving to untie the pull string in his scrubs. They easily fall to the floor as Pope takes a step forward into JJ’s open arms. They stay like that a moment, simply wrapped in each other’s arms before JJ finally pulls away and leads them to bed. 

It’s easy to curl up next to Pope. JJ remembers always being on high alert in his own home, never safe. Pope’s arms are the only place he feels safe, supported. They’re the only place he feels comfortable letting his guard down. Pope is warm and solid against him, fingers already playing with JJ’s hair. 

“I think we should get a dog,” Pope finally mutters, eyes closed and nearly half asleep. JJ looks at him in surprise, but the other is already drifting off, tired from his long shift. 

JJ can’t help the smile that pulls up his lips. He’s been trying to get a dog for ages and Pope has been unconvinced, but this could finally be his chance. They’ll talk about it later though, when they wake up hours from now while the world around them is getting ready for bed. 

[candygirl101x]

Romance MD: Always on Call Munechika Takado Review (if you can really call it that)

Honestly I wasn’t expecting to write a review on this, because; 1. I wasn’t the slightest bit interested in the newest release. 2. And secondly…well I don’t write reviews.

But I haven’t seen that much noise about this title yet; whether that’s due to the lack of interest, the lengthy time it takes to read this whole story, the frustrating amount of hearts (A.K.A your hard earned dollar) you have to spend to achieve a SHE, or perhaps all of the above.

When I saw advertisements for Love 365’s latest release, I honestly didn’t give a damn. Oh joy, another Love Choice title (which by the way everyone asked for…not), the same old character types (I felt like Voltage should’ve changed their name to ‘Oresama’s R Us’) and I didn’t take a liking to any of the character’s physical looks either (except Kasumi, what a babe.)

So when Romance MD was finally released I wasn’t rushing to read it. Lately I’ve been more preoccupied reading another otome (Mr Love Queen’s Choice, if anyone is interested) rather than any releases on Love 365 as it just isn’t giving me that enticing story that I’d throw away life’s commitments in an instant to read. After reading Takado’s story, I only wish that I’d stop judging a book by it’s cover (although I know I definitely won’t).

I found myself reading through the story mostly because it was free (we already know the debate on that one, in the end I think I spent £14) and because I was bored. However, it wasn’t long before I found myself being sucked into the story and just thoroughly enjoying the interactions between the characters.

The MC

I could describe the MC as a breath of fresh air, I could describe her as a complete car crash but I feel as though a more accurate description is Marmite. For those of you who don’t know (probably anyone outside of the UK), Marmite is a food spread that people have on toast/sandwiches etc. The debate is that there are thousands of people who love Marmite more than their firstborn child but on the other hand there’s equally as many people who think Marmite is the work of Satan himself, and would find their dog’s faeces more appetising. So I can’t help but feel like you’ll love her for being new, exciting and different…or you’ll hate her because she’s extremely arrogant, a know-it-all and just plain annoying.

Reasons to love the MC:

She’s clever, like really clever. I have no idea what half those words mean that come out of her mouth but this girl knows her shit.                              

She’s determined and persistent. I mean, I guess all MC’s are when I think about it but it’s generally a good trait to have. The MC doesn’t let Takado out of her sight for a second, even using her skills of being on the track team in highschool to sprint after him when he tries to run away which is highly hilarious. Although can you imagine an MC who isn’t persistent? We’d have no story. Kind of funny thinking about that actually, an MC who just says “Right! I’ve had enough of you abusing me, I’m off home to eat ice cream and watch Netflix. You continue cutting people’s legs off willy nilly like they can grow back.”

She’s relatable. I can’t stress this one enough. Yeah maybe not the medical textbook mumbo jumbo but the social awkwardness and the constant daydreams of Sekai (her otome boyfriend) is something many of us can understand.

She’s not a sheep. This girl has a mind of her own. I take my hat off to her for going up against her superior’s when she thinks something is wrong, I don’t have that kind of backbone.

Reasons to hate the MC:

She can be plain rude. Like I can praise the girl for sticking up for herself but sometimes she’s a little too tart-tongued for my liking. I did cringe a bit, wishing she’d dial things back from time to time.

Missing some classic MC traits, comes across as arrogant. I mean, I guess this one is personal preference. I do like the more outgoing MC who isn’t afraid to speak her mind, but surely it’s natural to not be so arrogant in front of doctors who have years of experience on you? Like the MC is 26, I’m pretty sure all of the guys are 30+ (pretty sure Takado is 35) and have been doctors for a longer time than the MC has even been training to be a doctor. I did find myself missing the humble, kind hearted MC a bit. You really don’t have to be arrogant to be a strong willed woman, my favourite MC is the MC from Our Private Homeroom, I felt like she had a good mix of all the traits.

Can be annoying. Like there’s a time and place to be talking about the topic you’re currently spouting on about MC, and now definitely isn’t the correct time/place.

I was honestly saying the same thing to myself Tak

Takado

Takado himself is not necessarily anything we haven’t seen before. He’s not hiding anything you probably haven’t already guessed. Him and the MC have frequent domestics (which 9 times out of 10 end in her being hit over the head with a file) in places they should definitely not be having domestics, which in itself provides a series of highly entertaining scenes, for not only us but also the rest of the ICU doctors. He doesn’t baby the MC, he tells her when she’s done messed up but does also show signs of kindness behind his stoney façade, especially more towards the end of the story. I also appreciated that his backstory was more than meets the eye, there’s nothing I find more boring than a predictable plot line. Generally, I found him likeable. In fact, more often than not I felt sorry for him for having to put up with the absolute garbage that drops out of the MC’s mouth. I dunno how the hell he ended up falling in love with her too, I’d run a mile if that was me. But then again I did pay £14 for him, so if he didn’t I’d be god damn pissed.

He is equally (actually even more so) as intelligent as the MC, without bragging about how much he knows which was rather refreshing. I mean he does call the MC a thousand different variants of the word stupid, but every single time was justified in my eyes.

Although one thing I must say...

God damn son.

Stuff to Note

One thing I need to comment is holy smokes, how long is this story? When I saw the looming 30 chapters I figured that they were probably going to be over faster than my money leaves my account on payday, but boy how wrong I was. Now this almost certainly is a money grab in order to get you to spend more hearts to get the “good choices” but despite that, I was really impressed with just how long the story took me to read. Maybe I’m just getting old, but usually on any main story I can bash it out in under 2 hours. With this, I actually had to stop myself from reading and go the hell to sleep because it was 4 in the morning. When I checked the next day to what chapter I was on, I thought I was tripping when I realised I’d only just made it halfway through the story. Voltage kudos to you. The story was the perfect length to have good plot pacing, decent character development and satisfying romance at the end.

Now granted if you’re looking for a lovey-dovey romance throughout the whole story this isn’t the route for you. The romance doesn’t really kick start until at least 3/4 of the way through this route, and even then it’s nothing that exciting. The MC struggles to understand what love even is herself, having her only boyfriends being fictional otome men (the relatability is real), she finds herself unable to register what those feelings are. It’s not until a playful bullying from the other ICU doctors and a dictionary search that she realises she’s in love.

But in general, I found Takado’s route an enjoyable read with well placed comedic timing and good focus on the the more serious side of things when it was important. So if you find yourself bored like me, maybe just give it a read. Just don’t come at me with torches and pitchforks when you’re $15 poorer.

Moments I Particularly Enjoyed

The reminder that you are in fact reading the correct story

The scientific breakdown of kabedon

The obvious sarcastic remarks, that the socially inept MC doesn’t understand

The casual discussion of banging in the workplace

Pros and Cons

Pros

Character Development. I feel like both the MC and Takado showed character development. The MC when she finally figured out she has to stop being so damn arrogant and realise the consequences of when she opens her mouth. And Takado, that he can’t just tell people they’re having their leg cut off and just walk off.

Length. Need I say more.

Good pacing. Story progresses, MC progresses, Romance progresses. Good job guys.

Well written. Actually laughed out loud a fair few times whilst reading this story, which I definitely wasn’t expecting. Also whoever came up with the idea of the character sprites holding up a board for comic effect is a god damn genius.

Good group dynamics. I mean it’s not KBTBB, but I enjoyed reading the interactions between all the ICU doctors. Hopefully with more releases we’ll be able to see more of their relationship with each other.

Cons

Love Choice. I mean you can read this story completely free…just you won’t know any of the back story, you won’t get any of the romantic moments and you’ll get the shit ending. But if you’re happy spending $15 for a main story then this is a pro I suppose.

Lacking in romance. Now I’m not saying there isn’t any, I personally don’t have an issue with how things progressed (I much prefer the romance to come in following stories like epilogues and sequels) but I have a feeling if you’re after something with a lot of romance running throughout it, this story won’t be for you.

Too many legs were harmed in the making of this route. People be getting their legs cut off more times than I’ve had hot dinners. Everyone thinks Takado goes around cutting people’s legs off for fun…and honestly you can’t blame them for thinking that.

Not many CGs. Remember the days when we had 6 CGs for a main story? I know I’m being picky but having 1 CG in episode 1 and the last CG in the SHE, that only leaves 2 other CGs for 28 episodes. If you’re gonna have a main story that long, surely you can spare another CG or two Voltage?

I’ve put the character sprites and the CGs below a read more button so people can avoid spoilers. So if you’re interested in what I’ve officially renamed the characters keep reading :) VVVVVVVV

Starring

Dr.Amputation (I’m telling you now, you wouldn’t want this one for your general health checkup) (Takado)

Angry Coach (Takao)

Angry Coach’s Wife (Who I’ve actually forgotten the name of)

Darling Boy (Haruto)

Darling Boy’s mother (Yoko)

Flirty McGee (Hosho)

Kasumi’s Die-hard Fan (but can you blame him?) (Kyogoku)

Dean the Absolute Meme (Matsunaga)

Ghost Hospital Director (Seriously, I think we see him like once in the whole route(why is he even on this list? Because I already had a screenshot and I’d figured I might as well use it) (Usagida)

ICU’s On-Call Doctor Dealer (Ekuni)

Total Babe (Kasumi) (Just you wait till your ass is out bitch)

Also can you blame me?

Ultimate Waifu (Missy)

Partner in Otaku Crime (Asuka)

Cute Penguin (Watch out Sydney, she’s coming for your top spot on the favourite Voltage mascot list and probably your large swimming pool) (Kalmia)

A reformed KBTBB Villain (Mario)

The Main Character (Sekai)

The Actual Main Character (Why we see her sprite for one split second I’m not overly sure, but yeah hard pass Voltage)

CGs

Episode 1

Episode 18

Episode 27

SHE

Now if I were you, I’d go and actually find a good review to read. Like @aqvarius

[kariachi]

Turns out this fic from this morning wanted a part II. More Argit, more Mike, more Erinaen necromancy.

~~

The Ra- Argit, if he’s staying in his home he should use his name- Argit’s apartment isn’t anything impressive. Past the loading bays, up the stairs, first door on the right. Only door on the right. There’s a livingroom immediately when you get through the door, a kitchenette on the other side of it. First door on the left down the hallway is a bathroom that Mike’s tempted to go for as soon as he knows where it is. The Bellwood base isn’t nearly as worried about prisoner hygiene as he would like. But, he doesn’t want to give the impression that he needs anything. At all. In an ideal world he would have complete control over this situation and he wants it to looks like he does.

The place smells like flowers.

“Kev’s room is the second door on the right,” Argit says as he beelines for the kitchenette, “you can use it if you want, just stay out the chest in the closet. Or you can just have the couch if you’d rather.” Mike settles down on the far end of the couch, forcing himself to relax and lounge against the arm.

“I think I’ll take the open bed.” The forbidden chest has him curious.

“A’ight.” He takes something out of the freezer and fiddles with the oven. “You want some tea? Not like, tea-tea, but honestly better in my opinion.” Fuck it, in for a penny in for a pound.

“Sure.” Chewing his inner lip, Mike glances around the place, taking in the knickknacks, machine parts, and loose fabric lying around. That was something he’d need to look into, new clothes. His outfit is wearing heavily in places he really doesn’t want it to. “What’s in the first room to the right?” He can see it from the couch, a sign on the door that he can’t read but seems suspiciously like a ‘do not enter’ sign.

“Weapons I doubt you know how to use, potion and spell components I doubt you know how to use, and books I know you can’t read.” That last bit gets Mike’s hackles up. He can read more languages than he can speak- though that’s not too difficult, it’s only two and a half.

“Try me.” Argit chuckles again, leaning over the counter that separates the two rooms with a toothy smile.

“Like the enthusiasm, kid, but it’s not a judgement thing. They’re in Erinaen, and given they’re the only things in Erinaen on this planet odds are you can’t read them.” It was a logical argument. The bastard. “I’m not gonna put anything in your tea, if that’s good with you. Just straight soggy bark water.” This time Mike is the one chuckling.

“I didn’t realize I was quite that evil.”

“Better to try something alone for the first taste. It’d suck to find out you would’ve liked something better without milk and sugar and shit.”

“It’d suck worse to not get the necessary calories in.” Which, alongside his stomach, reminds him- “What’s for dinner?”

“Lasagna,” Argit replies. “Honestly forgot all about dinner until you showed up, but you’re wasting away at least as bad as me so, food it is.” Mike nods as both the kettle and oven go off, Argit handling the latter before filling a mug and small bowl. When he returns to the kitchen, he places the mug on the coffeetable rather than hand it to Mike directly, watching carefully as he picks it up, and settles in on the opposite arm of the couch. “How many calories you need?”

Fuck, why did he mention calories? Mike shrugs.

“I get hungry,” he says, knowing as the words come out his mouth that it’s not going to slide. In an attempt to give himself a moment to think of an proper answer, he takes a sip of the golden liquid in his mug and about dies. “Holy shit, what is this?” Argit looks too amused.

“It’s good for you, aids in healing.” It’s like he just tried to drink the world’s citrus supply, and that must show on his face because Argit stands with a chuckle and brings him a pot of sugar. He manages to only dump half of it into the mug. “Now, just how hungry are we talking?”

“That really isn’t your business.” Argit leans back, gazing down his muzzle at him. It’s fairly impressive, how somebody who can’t even be five foot and who Mike is near certain he could turn inside out if he had to can make him feel like a little kid being interrogated for stealing books from the library.

“Oh, so you have a healthcare provider I can send you to?” Mike does not, and apparently this shows on his face too. “Until tomorrow morning I am your healthcare provider, and as long as people are going around expecting to be able to get care from me I am gonna do a damn good job. That means knowing how much I need to feed you so you don’t starve while in my care.”

Mike glares at him. Argit glares back.

It burns to break first.

“I don’t have exact numbers anymore,” Mike says, “but I used to be able to knock down a lasagna on my own easy.” Argit nods.

“Then we’ll start there. I’ll get the leftovers reheating after the lasagna comes out, hopefully between the two you’ll be good for the night.”

Mike, honestly doesn’t know how to respond. That’s about the sort’ve response he’d generally gotten from the better doctors, or from his father and uncle. Not people. Argit snorts and pats his arms, so clearly he’s just being incredibly expressive tonight. He’s going to have to work on that. Clearly been wearing that helmet too long.

…fuck, he forgot his helmet.

He was just falling right to pieces, wasn’t he?

“You’re not the only mutant around here,” Argit explains. “Fuck, you’re not the only mutant in the building. I know plenty about how much we can put away.” Oh. Okay. Mike never really bothered to research Levin’s little friend more than learning he existed and what he is. Still, it’s always nice to have other mutants around. Argit laps up some of his own tea. “Any other health shit you want handled, since you’re already here?”

He shouldn’t say any more. This is already a precarious situation and Mike doesn’t like other people being in control of things. But, he’s about eighty percent sure Argit isn’t going to turn out like Charmcaster- for one thing he hasn’t even flirted a little with him yet- and the lack of healthcare these past several years hasn’t been good to him he knows. If Argit could help with one thing, well, maybe it’s worth seeing if he can help with the others?

“You know about the seizures,” he starts, just to make sure he covers everything.

“Kevin gets those too, so I should be able to set you up with some preventative measures and some stuff for recovery.” Mike nods.

“I need, so many calories-” he’d started eating people half because of the calories “-I can’t really taste things, talking hurts. Mostly things along those lines.” Argit makes a concerned chirping noise and scoots closer.

“That’s fucked up,” he says, “mind if I take a look?” Mike already knows what he’ll see, he’s got more teeth hidden around than any horror movie monster. “You don’t gotta.”

He opens his mouth.

Argit whistles when he looks inside.

“Damn, Mike-” he tenses “-some of these things needed to come out yesterday.” And relaxes again. He’s used to getting teeth pulled, with how difficult it is to keep them clean at the best of times given their layout. They grow back in a week or two anyway. Argit backs away, and muscle memory alone has him presenting the mouths on his palms for inspection as well.

Teething had not been pleasant in the Morningstar household.

Argit takes it in stride though, tutting over the state of them with the same calmness he’d tutted over the ones in his proper mouth. He’s all seriousness when he backs away, visibly turning the situation over in his head.

“Okay,” he says, “I can’t do anything about the tasting thing. There’s just, not room on most of the surfaces of that mouth for tastebuds. I have never before seen a person with teeth on their tongue and I can almost understand you draining the energy from people given how much of a bitch it has to be eating with those chompers.” Mike nods. It is a bitch. He stopped eating popsicles at five, when one stick got stuck and Elena and Cooper had to help him work it free. Plus, though Argit isn’t necessarily being tactful, he’s still being nicer about the matter than the vast majority of people who experienced that array in any capacity.

“A lot of them need pulled though, from mouth and palms, they’re just in too bad of shape. Either you can go to a specialist for that, or I could probably get Kevin to do it. None of them are in such bad shape it should be anything more than a good yank each.” Mike raises an eyebrow.

“You’re suggesting I let Levin pull my teeth.” Argit shrugs.

“You don’t gotta. Just saying he probably could, as long as I was there to numb the pain and speed the healing. Or I could recommend you to somebody with more experience in the matter.” Mike rasps his tongue against the teeth on his palate.

“I’ll consider the matter.”

“Good, just leaving those is asking for more health complications down the road, and you’ll probably have a better time eating proper food once they’re gone.” Probably.

“And the calorie needs?” He’s just been living with those his entire life. ‘Hyper-accelerated metabolism’ is in big bold letters on multiple pages of his medical files. Nobody’s been able to do anything before but now there’s a little voice in the back of his head whispering that hey, Argit is magic, and he’s trying to help, just maybe

Argit shrugs.

“I can’t know if it’s abnormal unless I see your appetite and powers both in action. And even if it is, I’d have to do research to see if it’s a mutant thing or an Anodite thing.” The hackles go up again.

“I’m fairly certain Gwen doesn’t have this problem.”

“No,” Argit says easily, pausing for more tea. Mike also takes another sip. It’s much nicer with the sugar. “But the problem might be Anodite-specific. Knowing details like that can give me a baseline to figure out and fix the core problem, or at least work out a way you can manage it better.”

Mike hates that that makes sense. He nods anyway.

“But you could help me manage it,” he asks. Argit shrugs again.

“If I can’t figure it out myself, there’s enough necromancers out there it’s likely somebody has a clue and I can get the information from them, adjust it to fit your needs.” He looks at Mike over his bowl. “Listen, I have been managing all of Kevin’s chronic shit since we were kids. This?” He gestures at Mike’s everything. “Is nothing compared to that walking disaster area.” He smirks a little. “Swear he’s more cancer than man some days.” It shouldn’t be funny, but the offhanded way Argit says it, like this is in no way special or dangerous, makes Mike chuckle. The idea that he can do enough with magic that cancer is hardly worth more than an offhanded comment is, nice. That little bit of hope gets bigger.

He’d really like to stop being so hungry.

“I would appreciate the help,” he finds himself saying. On the other end of the couch, Argit sighs into his bowl, then raises it in acknowledgement, giving Mike a smile.

“Then you’ll get it,” he says, then breaks into a small smirk, “as long as you don’t go punching my familiar anymore.” Mike pauses.

Blinks.

Then laughs.

“It’s a deal.”

[spidergwenistrans]

I'm sure lots of people have talked about this already, but I think it's really shady the way only parts of transition healthcare are ever covered by so many insurance providers. I'm talking both public and private here.

I want to be very clear about the fact that I'm arguing we add any additional roadblocks or gatekeeping to transition care. All I want to argue for here is that more options be available.

In Ontario, I was able to access HRT through an informed consent process, which means I proved to my doctor that I understood the limitations, side effects, and risks associated with estrodial and cyproterone, the meds I take.

I was lucky, this wasn't my GP's first time with this, so he knew what to do, I didn't have to educate him on the basics of it. He has his limitations, and eventually I want to see an endocrinologist about progesterone, and long term management of my hormones, especially post bottom surgery.

In lots of places, it's way harder to access even HRT. In the UK for example, my understanding is that you need to see a specialist, and GPs are generally unwilling to prescribe HRT even in the interim before seeing a specialist.

As far as I know, the UK is the only publicly funded health care system that covers gamete preservation for trans people, though it's not a part of the system I hear much about. Obviously the UK system has lots of issues, but on paper it sounds like it should be the best one to be trans in.

OHIP (Ontario's system) won't cover HRT for lots (most?) people, because OHIP doesn't really cover medication for anyone from 26-64(?). It does allow your doctor to prescribe you hormones, which was a big win. It also allows bottom and top surgery to be covered, but each has to be approved individually, according to the page listing the requirements.

The fact that top surgery to remove breast tissue has to be approved, but breast reduction is covered automatically, and all you have to say is that it prevents you from living the life you want (essentially, there's a specific wording, but any good surgeon will coach you during a consult, as my friend learned).

I don't want this to read as me thinking we should add gatekeeping to breast reduction, I just want to call out the double standard here.

Meanwhile, all of the trans affirming surgeries require 2 seperate assessments, by 2 health care providers, stating you have a diagnosis of persistent gender dysphoria. They also have that classic requirement: "have completed 12 continuous months of hormone therapy (unless hormones are not recommended) you have lived 12 continuous months in the gender role you identify with (for genital surgery only)."

These are a big improvement, for Ontario at least, over what they used to be. We used to be required to see a psychologist, which meant a 6+ month wait list just to get an initial assessment, followed by probably several appointments, hen being sent back to your GP before finally getting a referral to a (the, at the time) surgeon.

Under current requirements, I could probably see my doctor, and then a nurse practitioner with his office and get my surgery approval submitted in less than a month. Of course, that doesn't mean I'd be seeing a surgeon all that quickly, especially right now.

I'm supposed to talk to my doctor on Tuesday about getting this process started, so that's exciting, if a little terrifying, it feels like the biggest step in my transition so far.

I'm kind of rambling here, the thing I really wanted to talk about was what isn't covered.

There's no support for gamete saving, which kind of amounts to a form of mass coerced sterilisation, since many of us can't afford to save our gametes on our own, especially before we even start transition, and we know the hormones will probably make us infertile as long as we're on them. I know for me, I don't think I could tolerate the 3+ months off hormones required to produce viable gametes again.

I probably could have waited a couple more to start if I'd been trying to save gametes then, but there was no way I could afford it on my own, and I'd be wanting to start them for months at that point, and only waited until I came out to my family. I'm personally not that upset about never having children from my own gametes, it doesn't bother me that much, it's not being able to carry them that hurts more. But my personal feelings about this don't mean that I shouldn't have had the option??

The other thing that isn't covered, which really bothers me, is facial surgery. I know that masculising face surgery is in a very different place than feminising face surgery, but I'm going to speak from the perspective of a trans gal that wants FFS, I can't speak to wanting FMS, trans masc folks who know more than me feel free to comment, or link to other people talking about it. I don't think it's exactly my place to talk about it, and I really just don't know very much anyways.

Bottom surgery being covered is so incredibly important to so many of us, but the idea that bottom surgery should be covered, but face surgery shouldn't is wild to me? Ultimately, they're both somewhat cosmetic, but you know what else is? Brushing your teeth. Bad tooth health will eventually ruin your life, and so will dysphoria, so why can't we cover a surgery that would deal with a major source of dysphoria?

FFS procedures are not especially new or experimental, lots of cis women have some of these procedures as well. From a safety-via-passing perspective, FFS is probably more important than bottom surgery for at least some trans women.

I don't mean to say that we should all have it, or that anyone's priorities are wrong, personally even if both were free, I would still get bottom surgery first. I also don't want to imply that passing should be a goal, requirement, or something everyone, or even anyone should strive for. But, it's sometimes useful to frame things for the cis people that still get to make these decisions about our bodies, to be able to understand why it matters to us when it does.

In an ideal world, trans kids won't be forced to go through the wrong puberty, and hopefully some of these surgeries will be less and less necessary, but I don't think we'll be there for a while, and even if we get there, there will probably always be adults who realise their transness long after puberty.

[cultureisdarkbeer]

Thanks you @ms31x129 for the beautiful fanart

NEW CHAPTER 128 POSTED TODAY! 

Click Here for Rooted in Friendship Homepage

Excerpt: Chapter 24 - Whiter Shade of Pale - Episode - Rush

Summary: Smut/Angst/Fluff - First time on a case after deciding to move forward with their romantic relationship

[Jan 4, 2000]

The number one illuminated.  Scully tapped her foot impatiently, butterflies swarming in her stomach.  Their first case since their intense encounter on New Year’s Day.  She wasn’t sure how they would react to each other now in a work setting.  She was concerned about her ability to keep her professional composure and she was late for work. After almost 48 hours of hardly leaving his bedroom, she had collapsed when she finally arrived back at her apartment and slept through the alarm.  Not to mention it seemed to take forever this morning to pick out something to wear.  Then the taxi ride was almost a crawl as she read through the police report Mulder had faxed her from St. Jude Hospital in Pittsfield.  She wasn’t exactly sure why she was on edge, but she wanted to get the initial meeting over with.  Hopefully, he was alone. The elevator doors opened.  She smiled to herself. Here we go.

He couldn’t wait to see her and couldn’t wait to dive into this case.  Impatiently he began to dial his phone when he felt a tap on his left shoulder and turned around.  His smile grew wide.  She looked stunning, radiant. Her lips appeared darker, eyes brighter, hair shining as it bounced against the top of her jawline.  His eyes followed her neckline and he noticed it.  She was wearing a white button down shirt that was hugging her body and displayed enough cleavage to get his attention.  Down boy, he thought to himself as he blinked twice and flipped the track in his head to side B where a dead body was lying with his eyeglasses falling out of the back of his head.

“Uh…(chuckles).  There you are.  Heavy traffic?”

“Slow going.  Let’s just say I had ample time to read the police report that you faxed me.”

“Thoughtfully provided by the local authorities, even though it doesn’t begin to tell the whole story.”

When she bent over to examine the back of the deceased Deputy Foster’s head, Mulder couldn’t help but wonder where he registered on the perversion scale for checking out her ass.  Yeah, this would be a long day.

They walked down the corridor of the Pittsfield Sheriff’s station where Jesse, the suspect’s friend flirtatiously bumped Mulder to get his attention.  Scully was accustomed to women using Mulder as eye candy, but she’d be damned if he was going to look back.  She pinched his elbow hard to remind him that the tag on his collar said property of Dana Katherine Scully. He laughed nervously, “What?” as he felt the sting of her whip. They walked into the interrogation room and Mulder regretted sitting down as he was now at perfect eye level to notice Scully’s button screaming at him to free its restraints with his teeth.  He dug his nails into his leg to keep himself from moving his head.

A serious Scully was carrying the investigation, “..you say that Deputy Foster stopped you, but you don’t say why”

Mulder refocused. “Come ‘on, you were out cruisin’….

As they stepped back out into the hallway and began discussing the case, Scully felt her body leaning into his.  That warm inviting tension that obliterated their personal space.  His lips were pursed as he clamored on about spiritual entities and poltergeists.   It reminded her of last week as she whispered those same sweet nothings into his ear.  She decided to test the waters. Today she wanted to be in the power position.

“Mulder…rather than spirits…” She tugged at the bottom of his tie, stroking it phallically, staring at it almost seductively.  “Can we at least start with Tony’s friends?” And here came a little Marilyn Monroe, “Please? Just…for me?” Her eyes followed it up towards the knot envisioning him naked with just the tie on. . . . “I think there’s one person in particular I’d like to talk to”

Mulder’s pants became tighter as his legs turned to jelly.  I am totally fucked he thought to himself.  I will never be able to say no to this woman again.  She can have anything she wants, do whatever she wants.  Did she really just manipulate me with her feminine wiles?  Why yes she did and yes I wish she would do it again.  With the only movement he was capable of he whipped his head to the side and smirked following behind her.  She'd had her way with him and it felt so good.

As they left the Sheriff’s station, Scully remarked, “I guess we’re done for the day”

“Yeah, there’s not much we can do until we get the results from the lab and I want to see what Chuck’s opinion is before I reach any conclusions.  My car's parked across the street.  I could drive you back to headquarters or I could just drop you off at your apartment and pick you back up in the morning?” He tried to sound casual, but felt like he was failing miserably.

“That’s fine.  I can leave my car there overnight.” She said matter-of-factly.  This made him so happy he wanted to do a dance.  The thought of spending a night without her wrapped in his arms now seemed unfathomable.  How was he going to make it the first time they had to be away on a case?

They began their trek back to D.C. and Mulder was the first to speak, “That’s a very nice shirt you’re wearing Scully.”

“Oh, you like it?”

“Yeah, but it may be missing a few buttons.”

“I see. Mulder?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe we can drive a little faster?” A full day of not being able to be physically connected to him was taking its toll on her.  She knew she wasn’t going to make it back to her apartment.

“Scully, your hand on my thigh is making it very hard for me to drive at all.”  His knuckles were turning a whiter shade of pale on the steering wheel.

The traffic had them at almost a standstill and her hand was slowly reaching the top of his thigh.

“Scu….Scully, please, I’m going to drive off the road.” He felt as though he may burst through his pants.  His will to drive had dissipated.  He was not sure she understood the full extent of the impact she had on him.

“Maybe, maybe not.” She was still being coy.

“Did you just unbutton my pants?” Mulder glanced down for effect. “Yes, yes you did. You unbuttoned my pants.  Ok…. Well… and there goes the zipper.”

Mulder closed his eyes as her lips made contact, then jolted them open recalling that he was the one driving.

“Scully, I’m serious. We can’t do this. What about being on a case? What about reckless driving? What about … ?”

Holy shit you’re stroking my balls.  What kind of calisthenics are you doing with your tongue?  Driving had now become an afterthought and he was swerving all over the road. A truck in the oncoming lane blared his horn and veered to avoid them.  He got off the highway and pulled down a dead end road.  He shifted the car in park, reclined the seat back and freed himself in one clean motion.

“Scully, is this because I strayed from the paranormal?  Is it because you want your name on the door? Because if it is, I could get you your name on the door. If this is about my desk again, the desk is yours…they never asked me when I got the office back…I mean our office back.”

“Mulder?”

“Yes”

“Shut up.”

He closed his eyes and heard a familiar snap like, like…latex…latex gloves.  Why would she be putting on gloves?

She took him again and sucked with increasing pressure while her tongue continued the rumba.  He felt the vibration of her moans coursing through him and thought this may not be a completely selfless act after all.  Her left hand began creating figure eights while her right thumb was making light circles over his perineum.  That’s when he felt it.  The finger of her right hand was massaging his prostate….From. The. Inside.

If he was so inclined to protest, the results would have been in vain for his vocal cords had ceased the ability to vibrate.  The heavens had opened their gates, gave him a high five and were now returning him back down to earth.

He wasn’t sure if his lungs were taking in air and it no longer seemed of concern, but he did wonder when his hearing and sight might return.  He reached out for her hand and she held it tight.  His first words were all that his brain could compute.

“You’re a medical doctor.”

That produced a giggle.  “Yes Mulder, yes I am. Are you okay?”

“I will be eventually. For now, though, I think you’re going to have to drive us home. And Scully… I’m a very very lucky man.”

Mulder awoke to the sounds of Scully singing off key to an incomprehensible song.  It took him a couple minutes to realize they were still in the car.   “How long was I out?”

“Oh about 3 and a half hours.  We’ll be home soon.”

Mulder stared out the window at the darkening sky, “I’m thinking that blur on the VCR tape might be the spirit of a former student. Maybe a ghost coming back for some sort of revenge.”

“Or maybe… it was just a glitch on the tape.” Added Scully pulling the car into a spot before heading inside her apartment.

If you enjoyed this, please reblog. Thanks! 

@monikafilefan @kyouryokusenshi