#now i can finally play for real
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Matilda's Letter to Vertin
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Our little genius ❤️
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👑 Kirbtober 2024 Day 27: Control 👑
(ID: Kirby series fanart of Traitor Magolor magically manipulating a lines of plushies(?) modeled after Kirby, Bandee, King Dedede, and Meta Knight. He smiles behind his scarf, resting his head casually on one hand while puppeting his new toys around with the other, the Crown atop his head watching the spectacle with its unnerving gemstone eye. END ID.)
Previous Day | Next Day | Prompt List (made by @/paintpanic)
Started on 10/10/24, finished on 10/13/24. | Kirbtober 2023 Comp
#veins art#veins fanart#kirby series#kirby#magolor#traitor magolor#master crown#bandana waddle dee#king dedede#meta knight#kirbtober#kirbtober 2024#day 27#control#paintpanic#playing with his new favorite toys :3#hold Dream Land 4 gentle like hamburgers#y’know… I didn’t *mean* to make him look like the levitating pizza guy... but here we are#“haha look what I can make my new friends do Crown” “yes this is quite amusing. anyway back to slowly taking over your will” “what” “what”#(I know I promised no more bummers but man I was having a real *garbage* week while making this piece)#(needed a lot of “trust the process” reassurance to get through)#(and y’know what? It helped :D felt much better after I was done)#(even ended up being one of my favs of the bunch <3 )#(now on to the final stretch…)#veinsfullofstars
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May your days be merry and bright! 🌟
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#art#blaseart#my art#fanart#lucifer morningstar#lucifer magne#hazbin hotel fandom#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin lucifer#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer hazbin art#i saw this vision of him in a dream#i feel like lucifer would make the best presents#a real toymaker#and he likes to play with toys days after Christmas#now that the fog of alastor has cleared i can finally see lucifer for what he is#a cutie pie#lol#tumblr gets to see everything first#no one here judges me#is it cringe?#am i cringe
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life comes at you so fast
#tw personal#tw death#tw cancer#not my usual silly goofy post but it’s hard to remain that way when there’s a lot weighing on your mind#cancer sucks#and it’s unfair how quickly it can take people from us#one moment they seem fine and the next they’re in the icu with a week left to live#he passed two nights ago#i wasn’t planning to post about it but i have the tendency to disassociate from my grief#so here i am instead of wherever the hell!#it’s heartbreaking because he and his wife weren’t just my mum’s bosses - they were long-time friends#i have clear childhood memories of playing at their house with their son#his youngest child is only 3 years old#as soon as he found out he started giving his final messages to his staff#obviously nobody wants to die in that situation#but you could feel how much he *wanted to live*#when i was told about his death it was in the morning and it didn’t feel real#every time i had seen him in the last year he always had a smile on his face#it’s always been hard for me to deal with the prospect of death#and understand how fragile life is#how REAL mortality is#it hits even harder when it happens to someone who was so FULL of life#sighs#life comes at you fast#sometimes in all directions and in every possible and testing way imaginable#i’ve been trying to write and feel any sense of normalcy this evening but for a multitude of reasons i have a sinking feeling in my stomach#sometimes when i’m upset i try recycle the feeling into excitement or happiness over something else#yeah … i can’t really do that tonight#apologies if my energy is bleh. hold your loved ones close. now i return you to my regular scheduled programming
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They weren't lying, this psychological recovery journey got hands
#3rd month of taking antidepressants and knowing that There Is something majorly fucked up within me#i feel like im becoming normal bit by bit but also now my other problems become my aparent to me#i started to notice i have this childlike simplistic attitude towards wonder and relationships but also at the same time i understand the#severity of troubles around me on the level of burned out adult#but also it takes me from a week to several years to realize what people meant#and yet sometimes i get everything clearly#there are still ways to go#i still have to find a therapist#cuz psych diagnosed me with BPD; geberal anxiety disorder and ADHD and said i have autism signs that could explain the development of BPD#but all he can do is medical treatment which is not the kind you need for BPD and autism#im not saying you can treat autism but yeah he meant i need a psychotherapist for these instead of psychiatrist#i hope i can complete this mental health journey bcuz i feel like i finally got hit with all the weight of burnout i had all these years#i did some creative work in the august/early september but rn its all touching grass in real world and playing games#like i cook i help my family with chores i play fortnite i clean up my room i go out at 1am to look at the stars#all of my own volition without feeling like i need to push myself to do this#I'm scared that making art is not one of those things#i often have a thought that maybe art isnt really for me and in a perfect world i wouldnt do it#but then why am i so good at it#like...#petrotalk
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i just beat cassette beasts and i'm a fan of the ending honestly i lowkey think i may do art of it later bc i got such a vision and got ill (<- decided to listen to into the light splatoon 2 during ending. i am not well /hj). but i'm here mostly to show the fruits of my labour (see: the horrific way i decided to play this game right until i got off my ass and did the end-game stuff instead of fighting nothing but rogue fusions with 4-5 bouts of bootleg hunting sprinkled in there)
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i think i got 50 fused material idk though
#ghost whispers#cassette beasts#i'm finally free to browse the tag freely bc i actually cared about end game spoilers for once i WIN#but yes i hope people know this is how i . normally play video games in some way if given the opportunity it's a problem#this game gave me too much freedom to not do the main story and i did NOTHING in order. 10/10 experience catered to me specifically#for context i fought robin goodfellow second and poppetox third to last if that. explains anything about how i played this game#i plan to do postgame stuff sometime and maybe do art later bc i have other games and art i need to do first. but eventually i Will#maybe writing too bc my lovely cb oc. asphodel. grabs her like a squeaky toy i can finally hit you with the archangel beam for real now.
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Sometimes all you need is a good ol' coffee shop au tbh.
#i'm cold and in a mood to be fluffed 🥺 and angsted#the one good thing about holiday season is the amount of coffee shops/ bakery/ otherwise fluff and angst fanfics#it's like hallmark movies but 10000x better and they actually get to fuck and curse and act like real people#my bts ffic archive is like 50% exclusively holiday-themed fics lmao. they are cosy! and sexy !#like yeah give me grumpy yoongi in the midst of snow and baking cookies 🥺#if there's a little exes to lovers thrown in??? or enemies to lovers?? WOOOOOOOOOO YEAH#you can take my X Reader fanfiction out of my cold dead hands. leave yeen alone 😤#(yeen is y/n)#anyways. i am in fact not reading anything rn as it's very late and i'm STILL sick and can't sleep but also reading rn is no bueno#but i am making a list of the things i need to catch up on + want to indulge in#since i'm travelling next week and will finally have time to read#wanna catch up with at least ditf and edging fitness before i see sleep token. because after that i will have NO TIME in december#and i prefer to re-read my fav cosy stuff to shake off the Holiday Big Sad#which actually isn't too bad this year but maybe because i've been BIG SAD for a few months now and i can't even tell the difference anymore#ahem. ANYWAYS! let's not go into that#hmmmmmmmm i know i'm using this as a diary at this point but! if anyone's actually nosy enough to have read through all this#here's a little surprise: ✨🎁✨#🦦🥏🦫 <- an otter and a beaver playing frisbee 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#darya talks to herself
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the irony of one the first main things established about omori as a character is that he's known for his great memory as if he hasn't lost the entire fucking plot repeatedly for years.
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like he has a great memory!! if you don't take into account He's Actually The God Of Repression.
#replaying the game aggaaaiinnnn#now with full appreciation for foreshadowingggg#omori#omori spoilers#raven rambles#.....should probably have like a tag specifically for playing incase people wanna block it lmfao#raven plays omori#fr though he has a great memory until he forgets minor details like he was designed to help sunny forget everything#goddddddd it kinda makes you wonder though how much of it he's aware of#it's implied he still remembers basil after deep well. but I dont know if he's aware he's actively causing everyone else's#memory of him to disappear. like yeah yeah deep well is designed to make him forget too. he set himself up#to make sure sunny never reached blackspace. the loop resets if they fail. if they die#but the whole branch coral dialogue makes it seem like yes. omori is still very aware of basil's existence.#I have a lot of thoughts on deep well.#and especially omori not really realizing he's the one sending basil to blackspace because in past loops it was stranger who confronted him#his guilt of leaving basil is the one thing still tying sunny to the real world. mari is dead. he can't do anything about that except forge#basil is still alive.#as long as he remembers that basil exists#he will keep unknowingly dragging himself back to blackspace. blackspace would stay hidden if stranger wasnt haunting him lmao#he starts the loop by sending him there and then follows through on it by searching for him because he's not yet aware its his own fault#idk it's. aaaaaaaaaaaa#the hug in the true ending is everything to meeeeeee#I have a lot of thoughts about blackspace too but not right nowww thats an essay for much laterrrrr#there's just something about the “deity forgets theyre a deity and rediscovers it later and denies it and forgets again” that kills me#ESPECIALLY WITH THE FUCKING TIME LOOP#and then there's the route additions. he can accept it but he'll try to fight sunny to end it one final time#looooookkkk I'm veryyyy norMALLL ABOUT THIS GAAAAME#hylia and omori remind me of each other in their sort of ignorance of their own power. hylia being the reincarnations of zelda#see it all loops back to just Tropes I Fucking Love#there's a pattern here. do you see the pattern?
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helloooo. I know I've been gone for ages, but it's because I was stuck in the hell-hole that was revising for my final exams. but I'm back now with the news that it was, in fact, all worth it because i passed them! 🥳
i am a student dentist no more, now i'm just a dentist which is crazy and a little scary to say lmao 😉😅🦷
and after some of the busiest, most stressful, and most exciting weeks of my life, i'm finally back to catch up on everything i've missed! and get back to playing! i've still got a handful of posts ready to go, but i'm hoping to get the chance to hop back in game later to get back into the groove of playing and take some new screenshots. how funnnn 👏 but not until i've caught back up on my dashboard!
anyway, i hope you've been well whilst i was gone! i missed youuu! 💕
#it was also my birthday whilst i was gone lmao#found out my results at 3pm on June 6th and then June 7th was my birthday lmao#and it's been non-stop for me ever since haha#but not anymore! now's when my real summer of just vegging out and playing sims can finally begin 😎
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As much as I love playing embrace Dark Urge runs (discussion in therapy pending), there's something so narratively satisfying about how a Resist Durge playthrough can go once you get to the Bhaal Temple. Your character steps into the ring with Orin, it's intended to be a duel, but odds are you're getting eviscerated pretty quickly. You then switch to one of your other characters in your party and throw an attack, effectively breaking the duel and setting the whole temple upon you.
(Adding a cut because this ended up being longer than I thought)
But, I think it's a very satisfying way to play. Your party members have grown fond of your Durge, seeing them as a friend, a family member, even a lover. They've watched you and your pain over your Urge and what it makes you do or want to do. Maybe you've slipped up once or twice, but you've been trying so hard to be the hero they know you can be, that Faerûn needs. So, when it comes time to finally face your demons and you're getting so horribly hurt in the process, they can't help but rush to your defense. It'll put all of them in danger, but it doesn't matter because they want and need to help you, their ally and companion.
Bonus points if you select your character's romanced companion as the savior/duel interruptor to make it extra delicious. They've fallen in love with you, stayed with you when your Urge craved their blood the most, maybe by this point in the game you've helped put their demons down as well. They see you in pain, a final valiant effort to overcome your Urge against the power of Orin, a whole cult, a god of murder himself. They want to protect you, save you as you saved them.
I'm also fond of the extra beauty of Astarion being your Resist Durge romance since it puts the two of you in very similar situations. Fighting against the will of your masters, finally defeating your demons with your newfound companions' help and being offered the greatest power you could ever fathom... only to deny it, ignore power in favor of your party and your love.
This isn't even mentioning just how goddamn good the Withers resurrecting you cutscene is. This skeleton in your camp with unknown and unfathomable power (also apparently supposed to be Jergal himself if I've done my research properly?) is able to bring you back to life, free of your Urge. The line along the lines of "Bhaal could only destroy what of you that he knew, but because you've grown past your Urge and become your own person, he couldn't destroy that new growth" is just so weirdly powerful narratively. Tav may be a default character for you to create upon making a new save file, but Durge is the canon protagonist and I think that entire scene shows it the best. It's a beautiful secondary climax of the narrative (primary being battling the Netherbrain of course).
And, perhaps it's just an oversight on Larian's part or something that'd be a bit difficult to work into the cutscenes mechanically, but I think that it could only get more impactful if your companions could comfort each other during these moments. Everyone and their mother wishes you could hug Astarion after he kills Cazador, but also imagine your romanced companion cradling your body after Bhaal kills you. It seems just a little odd that they all (meaning your party) kinda just stand around staring at your corpse, especially with how close y'all have gotten.
Idk, I have a lot of thoughts about this section of the game in this particular type of playthrough and some of them are hard to articulate into words. It's just such a damn good narrative peak and can really make you feel things.
I've completed I think two resist Durge runs and just hit this point on my third and it really stuck out to me this time (then again my new antidepressants are kinda fucking with me so that might be playing a role). I left it as my last mission before dealing with the Netherbrain and I think it helped build the anticipation of that moment. Everyone else has been helped by you, and now it's your turn to come into your own. I really felt so connected to my character walking into the temple, feeling like everything has been building to this, that regardless of what happens our suffering will finally end. And you have your party there to help you in your time of greatest need as you've done for them.
There's a reason this game was Game of the Year, the narrative is just so powerful and the replay-ability is just insane. I've beaten this game ten times, heading for my eleventh and it truly just never gets old and never fails to make me feel so many things so strongly.
#we're gonna bypass how i have the withers big naturals mod installed#because it kinda undercuts the moment when withers comes in to resurrect you and he has these massive honkers#i'm a big fan of embrace durges since it's a great way for me to let loose without real world consequence#(my anticipation for patch 7 grows daily of course)#and it's also just fun to be your worst self and create the fucking legion of doom with your party#you'll never beat the sheer power of an evil durge/ascended astarion/dark justiciar shadowheart/minthara team up#I AM FULLY AWARE I AM SINNING WHEN I ASCEND ASTARION AND IT PAINS ME EVERY TIME BUT I LIKE EVIL NARRATIVES SUE ME#but a resist durge run makes me feel so many more things#helping shadowheart with her family helping astarion learn to be his best self free from cazador lifting the shadow curse among other things#plus everything I mentioned in the main post#and then the final crescendo of the score at the end of the epilogue party cutscene is a HUGE chills moment#although i will always be mad that in order to keep gale from ascending you have to make him seek forgiveness from mystra#she should be apologizing to him wtf no wonder i accidentally ascended him so many times him#gale telling her to shove it just MAKES MORE SENSE and is the healthier thing to do but it gets you his fucking bad ending wth#okay i suppose him blowing himself up is his bad ending but whatever#apparently him exploding the netherbrain can get you the win for honor mode and as someone who can't even get through balanced mode#you bet your sweeeeeet ass i'm not above sending gale to blow himself up to avoid a run ending fight if i got that far#honor mode is not about getting the ending you want it's just about completeing it and dude there's no way in hell i'll get close otherwise#i'll shut up now#fishgills speaks#fishgills plays bg3#bg3#baldur's gate 3#the dark urge#bg3 durge
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FINALLY playing ocarina of time
#sorry 2 the people who followed me for things other than loz. i do not control the brain#i have been consistenly constantly playing zelda games for a year straight now!! oops.#it is not just me. my sister has also been plahing. with our powers combined we have gone thru double the zelda#(She played thru skyward sword while i played twilight princess and then she played links awakening (gameboy version not remake#while i played a link to the past)#this all started 7 years ago when botw came out...#it started for real though when my dad bought hyrule warriors like. idk 5 years ago? which then got my sister into zelda lore.#and then we got totk and she got skyward sword for christmas and i remembered that we own twilight princess...and it all spiralled from the#anyways i have been wanting to play ocarina of time for a while and now i finally can!!! Yippeee!!!#gonna play oot and then majoras mask and then maybe minish cap. and then i will be done. maybe.
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how it started:
how it's going:
#jitxt#my stuff#proud owner of This Specific Photo of Kimura Takuya#not to conflate the two bc my enjoyment of yagami and kimutaku are connected but separate#but obviously it would be bs to pretend i would've been interested in smap without playing judgment#truthfully i was eyeing a magazine too but i don't like investing money/shelf space into an interest unless i'm certain it's here to stay#unfortunately kimura takuya is still only a recent interest so. something small like this is fine#though i might have to get a bromide holder to keep him safe... i know there's an aus run business that sells idol goods like that...#anyway uhhhh first picture context for those who might've missed my lore earlier:#is that post-JE pre-LJ. i didn't really care for yagami. lmao.#i saw yagami fans and it seemed like they were having fun but i genuinely didn't understand their affection for him#and so getting through LJ and starting to like yagami i was like WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME#thinking “lol look at his lame flat ass (affectionate)” and then going “WHAT. WHAT WAS THAT.”#<- girl who realised that she sounded exactly like the yagami fans online#and so i wrestled with it for a while#and bc i was talking in my friend's discord server about my experience with LJ i have this golden screenshot#of the day i finally gave in. pretty sure i'd been looking at pictures of yagami and kimutaku for like an hour beforehand lol#AND MY MESSAGES AFTERWARDS WERE STILL DRIPPING WITH COPE ABOUT IT#said something along the lines of. that i thought they tried way too hard to make yagami seem cool#and then followed it by saying i felt genuinely upset thinking about how i could never be on a date with him#THE DENIAL IS CRAZY... JUST SAY YOU LIKE HIM#anyway i've long accepted my fate but it's still funny to think about#jichan is asked to leave the fandom for needing to play 2 games to start liking yagami#meanwhile my sister's opinion on him hasn't changed at all. “he's alright” <- real quote about yagami from days ago#anyhow that's one of the main reasons i'm playing JE. so i can reevaluate that game with fresh eyes/new perspective#excuse my impromptu storytime. but i guess this whole post is about landmark moments in Jichan Liking Yagami so it's not entirely unfitting#i like yagami takayuki 👍 and now i like kimura takuya too 👍#gave this photo a goodnight kiss last night btw
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i am freeeeeeeee [collapses into a pile of dust]
#the last hour went okay bc we were just playing a card game and doing gifts/cards phew#also i found out theyre celebrating my bday on... august 25th? hewwo?? they didn't tell me until now 😭😭#my sister will be back at uni in sept and my parents are leaving on a trip the first day of sept so i'll be alone again for it fsdjkl#which. mixed feelings about that. i won't have to be afraid of them interacting w me but also :'( a little sad to be home alone for it#for the third year in a row fsjdkl#OH WELL. i should just be grateful tbh fdsjkl#the one thing i'm very sad about though is i can't go upstairs anymore bc the new security system has motion detectors#last year i watched jerma on the TV up there and sat on the comfy chairs... it was so fun fdsjkl. can't do that this year though AUGH#alas!!! i will somehow make it fun anyways maybe i will just ask if i can use the oven so i can make myself a cake again this year#SORRY FOR PERSONAL POSTING SO MUCH TONIGHT BTW. its been rough this evening fsdjkl but im going to go draw now :3#dandy.cmd#vent //#ALSO CONGRATS TO ME FOR BEING RLY QUIET AND AGREEABLE AND NOT ADDING ANYTHING NEW TO CONVOS HURRAY#finally i have gone back to highschool me thank GOD i've gotten too comfortable having opinions around them since i graduated fdsjkl#being around people (in the workplace and going to a counselor) who treat you like a Real Human Person will do that! wow!#abuse cw
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i know that when carlo suddenly decided that he needs to marry guy made a whole list in his head n like had a deadlines n shit. like it was some kind of a task he needed to do
#whole fkin campaign. idk still not sure how it was but man was in his peacock era for sure#n it's like i need to find a wife i need to make it in 2 (or whatever) months etc etc#but its like a bg task n he didn't speak bout it w others. like he just said that he needs to marry#also idk if i mentioned this but i wrote lauretta/carlo first meet long ago n she was w her fiance#i just listened to “pretty music” again sorry. i like that uh governor or tf this character is#changes his behaviour from one woman to another so real. n that fkin “but im a lucky guy who gets to dance w u”#and “since u know what i need i'll even take your lead” <- fr like im sure lauretta screwed him for several times#just to see if he's really serious good old manipulations w men nothing new nothing superstitious#upd. he probably made a mind budget for this (i mean finding a wife)#n bout lauretta screwing carlo its like in this ukranian song Ти ж мене пiдманула ти ж мене пiдвела#but since he's a strategist he's patient (like i wanted to accent this quality sm i wrote#that carlo started thinkin bout taking moretti's place back in 1932)#anyway. “Challenge accepted” situation and idk fr for some reason when it's carlo eddie lauretta it's always bout playing#so lauretta started playing n he entered this play too. i don't even think he was exactly mad (maybe only for the 1st time)#at this point i have a clear image of how they met n their first dates (cringe word) n how he proposed#ie how it started how it ended. ending was fast i believe (deadline is approaching 🤯)#what was in between i don't exactly know but i wondered just now if he also screwed lauretta (i think yes)#bc i don't knooowwww frrr all this is so bout playing to me#but bout ending its like. boss fight (<- sex) game credits (<- marriage) ((speedrun))#also i was thinkin if he even ever met lauretta's parents (i always thought that no but idk)#can imagine lauretta calling carlo a good friend. i also hm ok#i started to write a comic like a month ago just bout falcone polycule n it starts w#carlo who says that he finally needs to get married n lauretta's mother askin (in a pushing way) why#her n her fiance still aren't married like girl tf. she jinxed it i guess#upd. carlo/lauretta is funny in my head bc right before marriage he did fell in love lauretta didn't but guy's profitable we'll take him👍#she did only after marriage i think bc it was the time when u can finally relief bc it's over#u don't need to think bout no yes no no yes yes will it work or won't etc#woman was able to fucking chill at last. she got the money sorry i mean the man#he's not runnin away let's finally look who the fuck is even this man. why he won't shut up bout astronomy can i get a divorce <- jk#but yeah “я тобi брехала” is so lauretta right after marriage to me (“i dont even know the color of ur hair”)
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oh no he's my best friend now. i have no choice in this matter this guy is my best friend now. forever even
#disclaimer itto has no idea what nobana is yelling about he just finds it fascinating when nobana yells at people (he's usually very quiet)#the hilarious irony of itto being my brother's favorite character. and now look 😭#ari.art#mine#anyway i finally played the story quest and yes i can confirm itto nobana best friendship is very real and true. they are kicking their fee#infodumping about beetle fighting and mysterious yokai and their weird family situations#quick doodle before bed :')#healthy soil grows strong roots.♤
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#now that i'm a ''real'' modder because i can mod hairs and i can provide something ''useful''#people who never cared a single bit about my OCs or the things that i've been creating for my OCs#are now finally taking an interest in what i create and that shit is painful#never interacted with me before never cared about my OCs but now that i can provide mods#now they'll give me the time of day#now they'll show me support but not when it comes to my art or my vp or when i was creating things for my characters#i don't know how to describe the feeling that's giving me. it just fucking hurts. right in my chest. that shit hurts#this isn't about any mutuals or friends who'll read this because a) i can only mod for 1 game that most of my mutuals don't play#and b) because i haven't shared my mods here yet. all of this is happening on discord#idk what i'll do i just feel like shit right now#this is very specific to a single fandom and the people within it not my mutuals or followers as a whole#misc: salted#misc: personal
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