#now have to go look for a fanvid....

[rainintheevening]

EVERYONE LISTEN UP

New Peter and Edmund song has dropped, courtesy of @sailforvalinor.

'King and Lionheart' by Of Monsters and Men. I beg ya'll, go listen to it and think of them!!!!

[leverage-ot3]

no but the hivemind-like exchange between parker and eliot in the rundown job when they are pinned in the subway car and the bioweapon bomb is about to go off

in the beginning of s4 in the long way down job they went to great lengths to firmly establish that to some extent, parker and eliot think the same way. they are able to make those calculations, take those risks, do what needs to be done to protect the ones they love above all else

it’s what makes them them

and in that moment, the three of them are pinned down under the rage of a psychotic gunman and the bomb is seconds away from going off, which would mean thousands and thousands of people would most likely die and only they are the ones that can stop it.

and more importantly, hardison is there, right beside them, and he would die too if the bomb went off and that was something they couldn’t accept. not now, not ever. there is no plan m.

so eliot gives parker a look and a nod, and she kisses hardison for the luck she’s never needed before and they jump into action. eliot steps into the line of fire to cover parker (always, forever. ‘til his dying day) and she runs off to neutralize the bomb at the very last second.

hardison is horrified and terrified for them but it’s what they do, who they are, it’s what makes them them and parker and eliot have that same deep understanding to know that

[brionysea]

never more grateful for tumblr's chronological timeline than when i try to go on instagram and it's all suggested posts instead of anyone i follow

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: May 22

"And So It Goes” Billy Joel cover by Jennifer Warnes

[moinsbienquekaworu]

How have I been in fandom for - going on 8 years (?) and not gotten into fanvids before?? All the association I could have been making.... All the memories.... All the composition and clever editing....

[inimitablereel]

Cross-posting for Pangzi week, ao3 post links to vimeo and youtube

[ranchthoughts]

Happy marriage equality Thailand! 🌈

A few months ago, @colourme-feral came to me with the idea of cataloguing as many same-sex Thai QL proposals and weddings as we could. And today, to celebrate the bill passing the Senate (and the first post-bill-passing proposal and wedding), I'd like to share with you all our findings! Even though same-sex marriage has not been legal in Thailand until this year (hopefully things will be official in the fall), there have been quite a few same-sex proposals and weddings in Thai QLs throughout the years.

Big thank you to everyone who assisted on this project in some capacity (@airenyah, @bengiyo, @blmpff, @chickenstrangers, @dribs-and-drabbles, @nieves-de-sugui, @twig-tea, @waitmyturtles, @williamrikers) plus all the gif and fanvid makers whose work was instrumental in helping us double check everything (particular shout out to these gifsets by @apathetic-tortoise (1, 2) and this one by @gunsatthaphan).

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

We found 28 Thai QL shows which featured at least one same-sex proposal (the blue list below) and 15 Thai QL shows which featured at least one same-sex wedding (the green list below).

I was pretty strict with what counted as a proposal or a wedding for the purposes of this project. For example, characters who we know are married but whose wedding we don’t see aren’t counted (like Laws of Attraction’s Maya and Rose, or the unnamed Force and Book characters shown in a “Just Married” car in Vice Versa). There are many shows where there is a ring or someone gets down on one knee but the question is not exactly “popped” (Khun Chai, Star In My Mind Our Skyy 2, etc.), and there are even more shows characters talk at length about commitment and being together forever but there were no mentions of marriage or other details (like rings, etc.) that would specifically suggest it was a proposal (A Boss and a Babe, Ai Long Nhai, Be My Favourite, Cupid's Last Wish, Dark Blue Kiss, Something In My Room, Star in My Mind, Still 2gether, Until We Meet Again, 3 Will Be Free, etc.). Some of these moments might have been intended as a declaration of intent to marry by the characters and the show runners, but they weren’t conclusive enough to be included on this list. Furthermore, I think it’s interesting to see how many shows were, for lack of a better word, explicit in their discussion or portrayal of same-sex marriage (having the characters use the word marriage, showing weddings, etc.), despite being from a time before such a thing was legally possible. 

Note: I've listed the shows with the year they started airing for ease, even though some of them did finish airing in another year.

(see alt text for the full lists)

The Quick Facts

The first proposal and the first wedding in our data set both happened in Grey Rainbow episode 4, which aired on May 7, 2016. (though this is not exactly an auspicious wedding to start with, as those who know know)

12 shows featured at least one proposal and one wedding (Cherry Magic, GAP the Series, Grey Rainbow, Laws of Attraction, Love Syndrome 3, My Secret Love, Naughty Babe, Never Let Me Go, Tharntype Special: The Wedding Day, Two Worlds, Wedding Plan, and the Wedding Plan Special). 

4 shows feature two same-sex proposals (Cherry Magic, Love Syndrome 3, My Secret Love, and Two Worlds). All these shows also feature a same-sex wedding.

None of the shows in our sample had two same-sex weddings.

The Data Over Time

As you can see, generally same-sex proposals and weddings have become more common in Thai QLs over time, though of course there are more Thai Qls being produced now than in the earlier days.

Note: I'm only looking at shows which aired before the marriage equality bill passed the Senate, so the 2024 data does not include Wandee Goodday or OMG! Vampire. It will be interesting to see if and how the number of same-sex proposals and weddings in Thai QLs increases through 2024 and beyond now that it will become a legal reality.

It is also interesting to consider the production companies behind the shows in our sample. This sample includes 7 GMM shows and 5 Mandee/Domundi shows, plus 1-3 series each from other production companies like Idol Factory, MeMindY, Studio Wabi Sabi, Copy A Bangkok, Jinloe Media Work, TV Thunder, and M Flow Entertainment. In other words, GMM shows make up roughly 23% of the sample, Mandee/Domundi shows are another 16%, and other production companies comprise about 61% of the sample.

Main Couples vs Side Couples

There are 28 shows with proposals in the sample but 32 proposals, because four shows have two proposals each. 26 of these 32 proposals (81%) are between the main characters and 6 of them (19%) are between side characters.

Of the 15 weddings in the sample, 12 (80%) are between main couples and 3 (20%) are between side couples.

For interest's sake, I also broke this down for GMM and Mandee/Domundi. GMM has 7 proposals in 6 shows, with 5 main couples and 2 side couples popping the question; and 3 weddings (across 3 shows), in which 2 side couples and 1 main couple got married. Mandee/Domundi has 5 proposals in 4 shows, all between main couples, and 3 weddings (across 3 shows), also all featuring main couples.

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

And now here we are, after the bill has passed the Senate. Congratulations to the Thai queer community, and the happy couples Oyei and Cher from Wandee Goodday and Sen and Run from OMG! Vampire who are the first Thai QL couples to propose and to have a wedding (respectively) after Thailand's marriage equality bill passed the Senate! (The bill passed the Senate on June 18, 2024, and episode 8 of Wandee Goodday aired 4 days later on June 22, followed by episode 6 of OMG! Vampire on June 23.)

I can’t wait to see more same-sex engagements and weddings in Thai shows as we move forward.

[somfte]

Civil War

[video description: A Black Sails fanvid focusing on Eleanor, Mr. Scott, and Madi. Between clips of Madi and Eleanor discussing their past on the beach, there are scenes showing Eleanor and Mr. Scott's interactions, emphasizing how Eleanor fails to consider Mr. Scott's perspective, and the ways in which Mr. Scott is never able to lose sight of his position in society. The penultimate scene is Madi's speech to Woodes Rogers. As her speech escalates, sounds of chains clanking and being removed can be heard in time with the clicking of the knitting needles being used by Eleanor's ghost.

/end description]

Dialogue transcript:

Eleanor: You trust him? Flint. You've cast your lot with him.

Madi: What does it matter to you?

Eleanor: Before this war began, before everyone's roles changed, your father mistrusted Flint as much as anyone in Nassau did. I assume you were in some contact with him all that time. I'm surprised that his feelings didn't influence you.

Eleanor: For how long had he been secretly aiding them?

Flint: He began, he said, after the Spanish raid.

Eleanor: Did he say why he did it?

Madi: You were my sister. There is very little that I remember from when I was young, but I remember this.

Mr. Guthrie: Once upon a time Mr. Scott was my personal houseboy. Until he proved himself worthy of greater responsibility. That earned him an education which he then passed on to my daughter. And look where that's gotten me.

Madi: You were older. You were beautiful. I revered you.

Mr. Bryson: Mr. Scott, you sided with his daughter against him. You forgot your duty. You must have known there would be consequences.

Madi: When you were told that my mother and I were dead, I have to believe that it affected you. You had just lost your mother.

Eleanor: And what? Now you think you can just waltz back in here and pick up from where we left off like nothing happened?

Mr. Scott: Where else would I go? I belong to you. Chattel property of the Guthrie estate.

Eleanor: You… you know I've never seen you that way.

Madi: But if things were as I remember, my mother and I were your family, too.

Eme: He says…

Mr. Scott: I know what he says. He says in Nassau a slave can be free, get a job and a wage. Maybe for him. He's strong. A few others. The rest of you, don't kid yourself. You are cargo, in Nassau or otherwise.

Madi: And yet, through all the years thereafter that my father cared for you… counseled you, labored for you… he never told you that we were alive.

Madi: I was there in Nassau, and she's there. Eleanor is there. She is one of them now. I stood in Nassau and I realized when this war begins, it will have many different meanings, but to you this war is a civil war. You will have people on both sides of it. You will have daughters on both sides of it. And I want you to know…

Mr. Scott: [whispers softly] Only… you.

Madi: It would have been so easy to lessen your suffering by divulging the secret. And yet, he never did. Have you yet asked yourself why that is?

Madi: The voice you hear in your head… I imagine I know who it sounds like, as I know Eleanor wanted those things. But I hear other voices. [clicking sound] A chorus of voices. Multitudes. They reach back centuries. Men and women…and children who'd lost their lives… to men like you. Men and women and children forced to wear your chains. I must answer to them and this war… their war… Flint's war… my war…it will not be bargained away to avoid a fight.

Madi: My father didn't mistrust Flint. My father mistrusted all of you.

(for @built-on-sand )

[ladyluscinia]

My hottest take from trying to delve into David Jenkins's interviews and piece together where he's going with this is that - for all he and everyone else are consistent about describing this show as a romance and a romcom (and The Muppets) - I don't think he finds the romance compelling??? At least, not the healthy endgame version.

Like, the one interview where he dropped that he was planning an unrequited romance in all those pitches of his until they shot the bathtub scene in 1x06...? Wild twist, but also it kind of makes sense.

Look at the comparisons he makes. Titanic (where Jack dies). Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (where both leads die). Shows like Insecure and Grey's Anatomy, where relationships get messy breakups constantly. He's excited about fanvids set to Olivia Rodrigo's "Favorite Crime". Writes an episode based on Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, a 1966 film of a play that attacks the concept of happy marriages. He mentions A Star Is Born repeatedly in reference to S2, a movie where the disaster marriage ends in suicide and heartbreak.

And even broad spectrum - he repeatedly explains that he's not compelled by pirate stories. Accuses the genre of being "creaky" and "hard to budge", and then claims to want to subvert it in one interview and shrugs about how "it's a pirate story" as reasoning in others. But the part he seems interested in...? Well it's the oncoming end of the Golden Age aspect, and also maybe the short and violent life of organized crime. He's drawing comparisons to mob movies and Westerns - two things I think we can say trend toward the bittersweet to tragic scale with endings. His examples certainly do.

I'm no longer surprised he was really compelled by the Edward and Izzy toxic divorce in S1 and the idea of doing an arc about "Can Izzy find himself outside of this toxic relationship?" only to answer "No." It seems right in his wheelhouse, tbh. Definitely enough that if he felt like Izzy ought to die due to vibes, I doubt he was looking too hard for an alternative.

For all his talk about "Can BlackBonnet put the work into this relationship?" I'm really getting the impression he thinks the more compelling answer is also "No." He likes the idea of a happy ending maybe, but he doesn't really seem into that as a story.

Now, he does seem to have gotten a crash course in "Maybe don't bury your gays?" and he's not lying about wanting to avoid the specific kinds of coming out and queer trauma stories - those are different kinds of tragedies - but I am... skeptical, perhaps, that the forced happy ending feeling of S2 will do anything but repeat in S3.

Just because, like, if I was scrolling these takes on a fic author's blog, I'd put majority odds on the main couple hanging in the final chapter, and I bet a happy sunset ending would come kinda out of nowhere...

Not really a recipe for satisfying, you know?

[dotthings]

Finally!!! Some light and hope returns to S7. Made it through the Casless stretch to 7.17.

Some thoughts on Dean and Cas:

Dean's quest to save Sam leads him back to Cas. The mysterious breeze (we know who that is) shows Dean the taxidermy guy's card, and he tells Dean about Emanuel.

"Screw Cas" -- because Cas knocked down Sam's wall and then abandoned them, by dying, or so Dean thought, so Dean's still angry and hurt. Trying not to care, but he still cares

Oh the staring when they are face to face again. Dean cannot seem to stop staring at Cas. That's not me being poetic with a headcanon exaggeration, that's what's on the screen, I didn't make the rules.

Dean watches Daphne and Emanuel a little bit like how Cas watched Dean and Anna kiss. Less furtive. But the open-eyed wounded baby seal longing sense of wonder on Dean's face is stabbing me in the heart.

"What's your issue" -- how much time do you have Emanuel? Okay, in simple terms, Sam needs help. But the things Dean doesn't say is you!! you are my issue I loved you and you betrayed me and then died and I'm not okay I didn't want to lose you and I'm still mad but glad to see you again and I'm a mess and I've been angry grieving, that's my freakin' issue!!!

The golden-amber light washing over Dean and Emanuel's faces in the car. Light washing over Dean with Cas's return, first invented in S7.

Dean's treading carefully. He wants Cas back, he also doesn't want to disturb Emanuel's peace. And Dean's still upset and hurt and angry and not over it but also he's glad to see Cas again. Dean's going through it. And Dean can open up to Emanuel in ways he's not ready to with Cas. "You're angry...he betrayed you." "Yeah, well, he's gone....I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know. Whatever it was. Might take me some time but I always could. What Cas did--I just can't, I don't know why." YES I WONDER WHY THAT IS WHY DOES IT MATTER WHY DOES IT CUT SO DEEP "Well, it doesn't matter why." "Of course it matters." "No. You're not a machine, Dean. You're human." THERE IT IS. After a series of characters telling Dean to suck it up and deal, Emanuel is the one who looks at him and sees Dean's vulnerability and humanity and says it's okay. Some part of Cas is Emanuel, even if he has amnesia, it's instinct, it's things Cas wouldn't be able to open up and say, not at this point, but that he believes. Cas sees Dean even if he doesn't know himself right now.

"Now picture Crowley with his hands on harmless little amnesia Cas" -- soooo interesting how Meg tries to play Dean's worry for Cas into inveigling what she wants. She knows some things.

Dean's pissed at the idea of Meg using Emanuel and turning him back into "an angel sized weapon." He wants to do this carefully. He needs Emanuel to fix Sam, but he doesn't want Cas harmed or his peace shattered. This is Dean trying to let Cas rake leaves.

Dean also seems incredibly annoyed by Meg sidling up to Emanuel and trying to flirt. Protective. Jealous even.

"You just met yourself. I've known you for years." The way that's worded. Dean doesn't just say "I already knew you." He says for years. They've been through a lot. It's like Dean is feeling all of it.

Dean is finally persuaded, for Sam's sake, to let Emanuel break out the angel mojo, but he's reluctant. Knowing what this could do to Cas, the pain he'll experience if his memories return.

That SPN used Turn Into Earth by the Yardbirds, which was the band who became Led Zeppelin, for a music video montage of Cas's memories returning, where Dean is prominently featured in 98% of the images. ACTUAL THINGS SPN CANON DID. Making a Destiel fanvid and stuck it in an episode. Okay.

Where did Dean's anger fly off to? "If you remember then you know you did the best you could at the time." He doesn't think Cas is a bad guy. "Don't defend me." -- Cas has always taken responsibility for his screw ups. Always. And takes a lot on himself to atone. That is how the character has been and he's like that all the way through. And he comes back to fix it.

Dean pulling Cas's trenchcoat out of the trunk of the junker of the week and handing it to Cas. Dean kept it!!!! He didn't just stick it in storage, he moved it from junker to junker, for months, keeping the last piece of Cas Dean had left with him and Sam. The ep that aired isn't even as sentimental as the cut scene--the dialogue we saw in a promo "something in me always knew you'd come back"--yet it's unhinged enough as it is!!!!

"I should never have broken your wall, Sam. I'm here to make it right." Cas always tries to make it right.

Dean doesn't know what's going on as Cas walks over to Sam, and asks "Cas, what are you doing" a bit alarmed. Dean wanted Cas to fix Sam, and they both at first Cas could with just a touch to rebuild the wall, but the wall's crumbled. And there's only one way--for Cas to absorb Sam's Lucifer hallucination. It's Cas's decision, and it's done before Dean can even try to stop it. While Dean of course is glad Sam is okay--that's not how Dean wanted to get there.

At the time it seemed a bit cold that Sam and Dean parked mentally ill Cas at the asylum and left--we'd only just gotten Cas back on the show and he gets shoved off screen again. But there are contractual things--Misha was signed for a 4 ep arc. Looking at it in-story, Dean says he's worried they can't protect Cas, with all that's out there, between Crowley's demons and the leviathans, and Dean says they should leave Cas where he's safe. Watched over by one of their former enemies--but Meg is the only resource they've got who can do it and she's at least playing at being an ally and she does seem to like Cas. It's again Dean's version of letting Cas rake leaves, keeping him safe.

[mekare-art]

DMBJ Fandom Assemble!

For those new to the fandom, or who did not participate: last year I hosted thematic rec posts for fanworks in DMBJ on Dreamwidth in the dmbj_tombraiders community (happy reading/viewing for those of you who stumble across these posts for the first time!). 

I feel that now enough time has passed since the first round that we can look at the new fanworks produced and add more recs!

I‘m calling on everyone in DMBJ fandom to contribute more fanwork recs to the posts I made last year. I also remembered that I still have a list of suggested rec themes we didn‘t get to last year, so I‘ll make some new rec posts in September (and possibly October). Many thanks to last year‘s contributors!

Rules: Rec any fanwork (not just fics!) you enjoyed that falls under the umbrella of the theme. A work does not have to be generally appealing, it just needs to appeal to you personally. You can write as much or as little as you like in the field ”Why I like it.” It‘s totally okay to simply go: I enjoyed this one a lot.

Timeframe: You can rec all through December if you like, there really is no deadline to this. All posts will stay open indefinitely.

How to rec: All Dreamwidth posts are visible to everyone, even if you do not have a Dreamwidth account. You can copypaste the rec template in each post (featuring link, title, warnings, ratings etc.) and fill it out. 

a) If you have a Dreamwidth account, simply post your rec in the comments of the post. b) If you are on Tumblr, send me a DM or post your rec to your blog and @ mekare-art, so I can add it to the DW posts in your name. c) If you are in the Yucun Discord, send me a DM or @ mekare so I can post it in your name.

Previous Rec Themes

Please add more fanwork recs for these!

Round 1: Fanvids: https://dmbj-tombraiders.dreamwidth.org/14710.html

Round 2: Rarepairs: https://dmbj-tombraiders.dreamwidth.org/14890.html

Round 3: Hurt/Comfort: https://dmbj-tombraiders.dreamwidth.org/15603.html

Round 4: Sha Hai: https://dmbj-tombraiders.dreamwidth.org/16360.html

Round 5: Focus on Female Characters: https://dmbj-tombraiders.dreamwidth.org/16590.html

Round 6: Polyamory: https://dmbj-tombraiders.dreamwidth.org/17412.html

Round 7: Tomb Curses and Shenanigans: https://dmbj-tombraiders.dreamwidth.org/18119.html

Round 8: Rain Village/Curtain Fic: https://dmbj-tombraiders.dreamwidth.org/18585.html

Round 9: Fanart: https://dmbj-tombraiders.dreamwidth.org/18694.html

Round 10: Favourite Pingxie: https://dmbj-tombraiders.dreamwidth.org/19303.html

Round 11: Alternate Universes: https://dmbj-tombraiders.dreamwidth.org/20202.html

Round 12: Bronze Gate: https://dmbj-tombraiders.dreamwidth.org/21514.html

Upcoming Themes: 

Heihua, Non-English fanworks, asexual characters, and more!

[equixen]

Looking back at ‘Before You Go’

Welcome to part 2 of my Narnia fanvid retrospectives which consist of me talking about a specific fanvid I’ve made and how I’ve interpreted the lyrics. This time, I’ll be talking about my second Caspeter fanvid, ‘Before You Go’, which I uploaded almost one and a half years ago now [original post].

Before I get into it, I just wanted to say that this one is especially for @an-angels-fury because she enjoyed my retrospective post for ‘Run To You’ and said that ‘Before You Go’ is her other favourite of my Caspeter fanvids. 😊

Okay, so this one actually has an interesting origin story and that’s because this fanvid was very close to being my first Caspeter fanvid and also very close to never happening at all.

Let me explain… 😊

When I first became obsessed with Caspeter, it wasn’t long till I decided to try making a fanvid about them. I started by going through my music and eventually narrowed it down to two songs. This one and ‘What Hurts the Most’. I liked both songs very much so it was quite possible that ‘Before You Go’ would have been the first one to be edited although I ultimately decided on ‘What Hurts the Most’.

As for why this fanvid was almost never made at all… well that’s because, at the time, I thought Narnia and Caspeter would go the way of many of my other recent fandoms up till that point. That I would do one fanvid, maybe two if I was lucky, but eventually either my interest in that fandom would wane or something new would come along to take its place as my latest obsession. So, I knew that by picking one song over the other, it was quite possible the second one might never have been made.

Well, we all know how that turned out. 🤣 Several more fanvids (and even fanfics) later, Caspeter and Narnia ended up becoming so important to me for various reasons (I’ve written more about this in another post if that’s of interest) which led to Caspeter becoming my OTP of OTPs. ��

Alright, now onto the lyrics. This fanvid is all from Caspian’s POV.

‘I fell by the wayside like everyone else’

I feel like there are a couple of ways this line can be looked at for Caspian. Firstly, it’s Caspian personally feeling like he doesn’t measure up to the High King from Narnia’s golden age. And secondly, that Caspian thinks that Peter sees him as less-than because of his Telmarine heritage. Also, I still really like the visuals I chose for this sequence… of Caspian deferring to the higher status of the Pevensies and hanging back as they enter the How for the first time.

‘I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself’

Yep, Peter drives Caspian absolutely crazy in the beginning. Two young men with their own axes to grind and who are out to prove themselves. Caspian both hates how stubborn Peter is during the strategising at the How, but also can’t help seeing beyond that tough exterior that Peter puts up. Someone who is both more and less than what Caspian grew up hearing about in all those stories. Because Peter might not be all that he imagined in terms of the magnificent battle-hardened warrior (at least not at first glance) but he’s also more human and more beautiful and has more heart than Caspian ever could have imagined.

‘Our every moment, I start to replace, 'cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say’

Despite the connection they share, their time together is over too soon. And once Peter is gone, Caspian can’t help regretting all the things he never told Peter while he had the chance. While I’ve had multiple versions of what Caspian might regret after Peter leaves Narnia in my head for different projects over the last year and a half, when I was editing this fanvid, I was very much imagining this to be that Caspian never told Peter that he loved him.

‘When you hurt under the surface, like troubled water running cold. Well, time can heal but this won't’

I think this was the line that first made me take notice of this song as a potential Caspeter fanvid. The way it reflects their regret over the loss of so many lives after the failed castle raid. It is something that will probably haunt both of them for the rest of their lives. And even though we had no closeup of Caspian’s face when they escape the courtyard, I was rather pleased that I was able to fake one by using a shot of Caspian from the start of the film which I still think works rather well. 😊

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather’

Apart from his siblings—who Peter could never hope to hide anything from—I feel like Peter is the kind of person who’d keep his troubles close to his chest. So, for most of the time that Caspian and Peter would have known each other, there’s so much about Peter that would’ve been a mystery to Caspian. And at the top of that list would be the hardships Peter had faced as a result of being forced back into his old life after living in Narnia for so long. Constantly being underestimated by the adults in his life as well as being bullied and belittled by his peers.

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless’

There are definitely times when Peter feels worthless. But for the first instance of this line, I chose a moment where Peter feels like he’s worth less than others. And what better representation is there than the, “what about your own future?” deleted scene between Caspian and Peter. Caspian learns for the first time just how much Peter is willing to sacrifice for those he loves and for the greater good. Even his own life. That thought alone scares Caspian more than anything so he prompts Peter to think about his own future in the hopes that it will give him something else to fight for.

‘So, before you go, would we be better off by now, if I'd have let my walls come down? Maybe I guess we'll never know, you know, you know’

The moment when it all comes to an end. Caspian has just been crowned King and is looking forward to getting to know Peter away from the hardships of war. Just seeing where these feeling take them. But then Peter drops the bombshell that they’re leaving and Caspian can’t do a thing to stop it. All he has left now is regret. Regret over all those missed opportunities where he could have said how he felt but didn’t as well as wondering what could have been if he had. 😢 And I still rather love that sequence for, “I guess we'll never know, you know, you know,” where it looks like Peter is kicking himself for not being brave enough to say something to Caspian when they’d had a moment upon first entering Cornelius’ office. 😊

‘Before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather’

When Caspian finds Peter during his and Susan’s talk with Aslan, he can see that something isn’t right with Peter. He wants to help but how can he when he never knew the depths of what Peter, a king to a nation that had been home to him and his siblings for 15 years, had dealt with by being flung back into their own world against his wishes. A loss of self, of purpose and of feeling like he truly belonged.

‘So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless’

And now we come to the second instance of this line where I focus on a moment when Peter feels worthless. Of course, no one is harder on Peter then Peter himself. As the High King, he has the weight of the world on his shoulders and he when he messes up, he feels the shame of it in every fibre of his being. After the failed castle raid, and the subsequent run-in with Jadis, Caspian starts to see a side of Peter that he never had before. The side that makes mistakes and, in his darkest moments, doubts his value. And that only makes him feel for Peter all the more and wish he knew the right things to say that would make Peter feel otherwise.

‘So, before you go’

And lastly the ending. What can I saw about the ending that hasn’t already been said. I mean, between Peter’s, “we’re not really needed here anymore,” and Caspian’s, “I will look after it until you return,” has there ever been a scene where two people who love each other have said so much and yet so little at the same time?? They were so close to having it all and now they’re being torn apart as Peter walks out of Caspian’s life, never to return. 😢

--------

And on that note, I think I’ll leave it there. I’ve had so many feelings about these two over the last year and a half and, with yet more fic/vid ideas percolating in my mind, I don’t think that will be ending anytime soon. 😊

[shipcestuous]

Okay, I come back with the third part of the ask! I have MORE amazing news, isn’t it great?

First of all, the best news for me is I have found yet another wonderful incest movie I have been looking for so long!!!! It’s called «Madame Solario». Hear me out, this is REALLY exiting, as it’s a French costume drama based on a book. Actually, there’s even an article called «“Saint Brother and Saint Sister”: The Motif of Fraternal Incest in Gladys Huntington’s Madame Solario» (here’s the link to the article https://dspace.uni.lodz.pl/bitstream/handle/11089/38892/PJAS_vol7_2013_Alicja_Piechucka.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y)

Here’s where you can watch the movie with English subtitles: https://tubitv.com/movies/100007671/madame-solario

Secondly, I went over your «Not available in English» list and tried to look for the subtitles. I actually had luck with some of them!

Der Kuss Meiner Schwester

Here are two links where you can download subtitles for this movie (it’s two different subtitles)

https://www.opensubtitles.org/en/subtitles/9593069/der-kuss-meiner-schwester-en (those are, I think, made by machine translation. I watched with them and they’re enough to understand most of the movie)

https://www.avsubtitles.com/subtitles.php?subid=16862&revid=20230717000859 (not sure about those, whether they’re made by human or machine, maybe a native English speaker would realize better than me)

Already after I found those subs, I stumbled across a comment on your wordpress under the post about this movie. I attach the comment in a picture, just in case if you haven’t seen it, because the user provides some information. (the subtitles they mention are the same as the ones from OpenSubtitles)

Syskonsalt

So, indeed, there are subtitles on OpenSubtitles for this movie: https://www.opensubtitles.com/en/subtitles/syskonsalt-2000-swedish-vhs-tvrip-xvid-movieboys-en  (Those, I assume, are made by a person)

Lunnye polyany (2002), also known as Les clairieres de lune

Once again I watched it before in Russian and I even have a fanvid about them! (promoting myself while I can lolz https://www.tumblr.com/familyromantic/705637767270531072/this-is-the-only-russian-film-about-incest-that?source=share) But now all of you can watch it too. I can say it is not a light watch and it has a dark, depressed atmosphere, but there is some sort of doomed love beauty as well. BUT I warn you that I have only seen the movie in a HORRIBLE quality, sadly.

Link to the subs: https://www.avsubtitles.com/subtitles.php?subid=18021&revid=20230827220208

Taboo: The Soul Is A Stranger On Earth

Three subtitles, but I glanced and they look the same lol (could be wrong)

https(:)//www.opensubtitles.org/en/subtitles/10009196/tabu-the-soul-is-a-stranger-on-earth-en (just delete the parentheses, I added them because Tumblr didn't like this link lol)

Additionally, not related to subtitles, but I want to let you all know I have Bror 2019 in HD if someone needs it (got it from a Swedish site with VPN). ALSO if any of the links I provided don’t work for someone or anything, I have it all downloaded, so contact me and I’ll send it to you. Or if you want to combine a movie and subtitles, I can do that too.

 I think that’s all, that was a long ask for real :)

[x]

Thank you for going through that not-available-in-English list! I'm pleased to be able to remove so many titles from it.

Do you happen to have any download links for Madame Salario? Having it on Tubi is so great but I like to archive the hard to find incest movies if I can just in case they get removed from streaming. It sounds like you do the same.

I did see that comment about Der Kuss Meiner Schwester. I downloaded the subs right away but haven't checked them against the video file I had. I didn't want to start partying until I was sure they fit and made sense and everything. I actually couldn't download the Syskonsalt ones originally but your link worked for me so thanks.

While we're on the topic, this movie, Yellow, is actually in English but has proven impossible find: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1588898/?ref_=nm_flmg_t_9_act. Has anyone managed to see, or better yet download, this one?

[annaofaza]

Inspired by this lovely fanvid by @uynumeotp <3

He wakes up on a white couch.

Vash's first instinct is bury his head in his hands. He can't go through this. Not again.

But when he looks up, it's... different. The orphanage is bustling, as it is now, with the shouts of children playing tag; he can even hear Miss Melanie scolding someone for not helping sweep the yard. A grove of trees surrounds them, laden with tiny white flowers.

And when he blinks, there's a table, absurdly set for two, draped in a white cloth with all the things Vash loves: a box full of doughnuts, a plate heaped with spaghetti, pint glasses bubbling over with foam. He's seated in one of the rickety folding chairs that they drag out of the closet for visitors, underneath the umbrella he's had close on his hand more than once.

And in the middle of the table, a bottle, with a familiar label...

"Tongari."

Vash closes his eyes.

"It's impolite to ignore someone right in front of you, spikey."

Slowly, slowly, he opens his eyes, and sees Wolfwood seated across from him.

There's no blood on his suit, no feverish gleam in his eyes, no sweat on his brow, no cross in sight—he looks as neat and pressed as he's always infuriatingly been in the middle of nowhere. Vash drinks him in, going back to the little details he'd already forgotten: the way his buttons have been stitched and restitched on, the tiny crosses standing out stark white on his wrist like cufflinks, the almost delicate way he holds a cigarette between his fingers.

"Tongari," Wolfwood repeats, "I guess I can't call you blondie now, can I?"

"No" is all he can say. His eyes go to Wolfwood's—and stay there. He's not wearing his sunglasses, now, and that, of all things, makes his throat close up.

"I hardly recognize you without your coat, either. What did you do with that thing?"

"I... put it away," Vash manages. He remembers Meryl giving a song and dance at not having it for tonight's show, the exclusive interview, Vash shoving her away, laughing, when she (half) jokingly told him to strip to make up for it. You'll ruin me! They'll get us for false advertising! and him howling, You shouldn't have made promises you couldn't keep! and her shrieking, Milly! Milly! Hold him down!

"Your glasses, too?"

No more hiding, he'd told them. Everyone knows who I am anyway. Nai wore them, sometimes, with his cloak. Sometimes Vash would get the shivers, looking at him, his twin a ghost from long ago.

Vash watches as Wolfwood takes another drag, smoke escaping from his lips. "After all this time," he finds himself saying, "you haven't stopped smoking?"

Wolfwood chuckles. "It's not like it'll do anything here."

Vash's eyes fill with tears.

"Come now," Wolfwood says, more gently. "I've missed your smile. I never did get to see it one last time."

"You were dying," Vash retorts, before he can think, Wolfwood even now knowing how to push his buttons. "Did you want me to stand up and cheer, too?"

Wolfwood's eyes soften. He really does look different without his glasses; Vash wishes he could have seen more of his eyes. "It was bound to happen at some point, tongari. I'm surprised I made it that long, frankly."

"You should have—" Vash chokes; he's thought this over countless nights, alternatively raging and breaking down into sobs, even once destroying a hotel's box fan. It wasn't fair, it wasn't, it had been the only thing he'd asked whoever was up there, whoever Rem believed in; he wouldn't have even asked Wolfwood to stay by his side. If he could have just been, without having to have so much on his shoulders, had the blank ticket all his life. But because of Vash... "I should have—"

"Ah, tongari," Wolfwood says regretfully, "have you been carrying this around all this time? If anything, I shouldn't have left you. But I thought it was my mess, my burden, and... so many things, really." He takes another puff, breathes it out, reaches for a shot glass.

"If I had been there..."

Wolfwood shakes his head. "You don't know that, and we can't change it." He downs his drink in one gulp, slams the glass down. "Tongari, you've saved the universe. You did what I didn't think was possible: making peace with Knives. And I think without having to run all the time... You're just getting started."

Tears are blurring his vision, now. "But I don't..."

"Tongari. You promised Meryl. Milly is there, Livio is there, you have so many damn people who love you, spikey, for a good reason." He smiles. In the distance, white petals begin falling from the trees. "I'm not going to be mad at you for living. You'll see me again, in time."

He's right, damn him. Vash wipes his eyes, trying to hold in Wolfwood's image for as long as he can, to erase the warmth of blood soaking through his coat and the sound of dirt thudding on a too-still body.

"Nicholas..." he whispers.

Across the table, Wolfwood places a hand on his, squeezing gently, and Vash knows there's nothing more to say.

[guqin-and-flute]

Another perspective flip idea I'm trying out: instead of 'avoiding' certain behaviors--or managing them like I decided this post, which has actually worked extremely well!--I'm going to try to encourage what I'm calling 'generative behaviors' on days where I'm determined to get certain creative projects done.

So, if I want to write CQL fanfic, instead of making the rule of banning Youtube for myself for the day, which, if I "break", my brain goes; "Oops! Oh well, we failed, time to watch more 'cause now it doesn't matter! ♥🤗", I'm going to try to engage in behaviors that are helpful to my goal and help generate feelings of creativity toward CQL.

I could read CQL fanfic, or reread my own. I could watch CQL fanvids or reaction videos or meme videos. If I don't feel like writing yet, I could clean out my drafts, take screenshots, or update my @cql-screenshots blog (included for usefulness reasons). I could reply to asks/comments, rearrange WIPs, go into tags looking for art.

More broadly, I could do some generally creativity generating behaviors as well; like take a shower or go for a walk and listen to music! I could do a brief bout of exercise or meditation. I could try to find a new location to stir up creativity if I've gotten into too much of a familiarity rut or take inventory of my body to see if there are any physical distractions that are taking up my attention like hunger or a need for background noise.

(I'M MOSTLY INCLUDING THE EXHAUSTIVE LIST HERE FOR FUTURE ME)

But basically, I'm trying to lessen the automatic internal struggle that happens when I 'forbid' a behavior. Because, unless I'm having a very specific brain day that does not happen very often, now I want that forbidden thing! It sounds nice and not hard and discouraging! Also, you're not the boss of me. And now, instead of my energy being focused positively toward writing, it's now being spent just Not Doing The Thing™.

So, trying that today. I guess we'll see how it goes!

[atamascolily]

As someone who makes fanvids and AMVs, I spend a lot of time looking at media in unconventional ways--cycling the same clips over and over again, jumping around in a non-linear fashion rather than watching straight through in chronological order, etc, etc. Usually, this is in service of getting shots to line up with the music or finding that one snippet that perfectly illustrates a lyric, but it also means I spend a lot of time engaged with the source material at a level of repetition and detail that most viewers do not indulge in.

I thought nothing would be able to top that level of granularity, but then I started making text post memes by juxtaposing media screenshots with clever and witty posts made by strangers on the Internet. Instead of watching the same clips over and over again, I was now watching specific individual scenes shot by shot, searching for the perfect frame to pause and screenshot. Suddenly, I was engaged with the source material on a whole new level, staring at stills I have never really looked at before, despite having watched them in motion a billion times already.

This was especially true of Madoka Magica and even more true for Rebellion, where the animators had lovingly incorporated whole new levels of detail I had never encountered before--some of them so complex and intricate, they could only be fully appreciated as stills, either because they were only on screen for an instant or because there was so much action/other stuff going on in the foreground that drew my eye when I was watching casually or for plot. (As much as I love subtitles, they did not help with this, since their presence meant my eyes were also naturally drawn to the bottom of the screen as well instead of focusing on the background.)

I started documenting my PMMM observations here on Tumblr, partially because it was low-stress and informal fun, and partially because this site has such excellent and convenient image hosting (for now, anyway) that it's really easy to discuss and compare multiple images at a time, which I think is more effective than reams of text at proving my points.

When I look at a screenshot, I have two major questions in mind:

1) What am I looking at? 2) What does it mean?

The first question is one of observation and identification. This part is usually straightforward, but can be more complicated if the animators are drawing on an element of Japanese culture that I'm not already familiar with. The answers to this question vary considerably depending on context, but they're usually not a source of tremendous controversy among the fandom; they are fairly objective, with a definitive right or wrong answer.

The second question, however, is more complicated and subjective. This is where analysis and interpretation come in--of the shot itself, the scene in which it occurs, and how it fits into the installment/series/franchise as a whole. It's entirely possible for different people to have wildly different takes on this, and multiple readings can and do exist simultaneously.

In my meta writings, I usually attempt to answer both questions: first, by pointing out details that I think are interesting, and then by offering my interpretation of them. Rebellion in particular is so visually dense that it's possible to randomly pause at any scene and find something new; no matter how much I watch it, there is always more to analyze.

To be clear, I don't think that watching Rebellion frame by frame is inherently better than watching the whole thing straight through, just that different perspectives and insights are possible. In this sense, both Madoka Magica TV series and Rebellion are inherently fractal in nature, with meaning multiple levels and layers regardless of scale. Unlike real-life fractals like the Mandelbrot set, however, there is a clearly defined limit to this--I doubt once you zoom into the pixel level there is anything to find, but hey, you never know with SHAFT.

I generally prefer to work with material that has already been released rather than stuff that hasn't, but I try to ground my predictions in my observations as much as possible--by which I mean, consistent with the show's themes and motifs on both a macro and micro level. That in itself doesn't guarantee that they're right, but I like to think they are plausible, which is all you can really hope for with that sort of thing. And of course, all my analyses and predictions tell you as much about me--how I see the world and what I value--as they do the work itself.

I used to joke that I was working on an honorary master's in media studies and Rebellion in particular, but after looking back at my output over the last six months, I'm not so sure that's a joke anymore...