#now for my own archival purposes:

[asecretvice]

I was living my life normally and unSupernaturally until yesterday when my mother, soon turning 60, admitted a previously untold dream of visiting New England in the fall before she’s too old. Suddenly I was dropped into a Ratatouille-esque flashback with the words Summer always made Dean restless echoing in my head.

In short, do you have recommendations on where to visit? Is Maple Hills based on a real town? Before relying on influencer guides to plan, I remembered how well you conveyed the ‘vibes’ and wondering if you had any advice. Appreciate this is a very random ask, so no worries if not!

Ahahahahahaha! Sorry-not-sorry for ending your streak of living normally and unSupernaturally ^_^

Well obviously, as I'm sure is already a factor in your mother's untold dream, if you're going to New England in the fall you must see the TREES. They will call you leafers! How spectacular the colors are depends on the weather during late summer and early fall, in my experience. Also it's been several years since I've been out there, and I'm sure climate change has altered the calendar, so to speak. There are maps that indicate when they expect "peak colors" to occur in different latitudes. Those won't come out until closer to time, so keep this in mind.

As for the rest of it...yes, Maple Hills is based on a real town, but as I think it would reveal to much about my brickspace life I hope you understand why I won't say which. However, lovely small towns are dotted all over the place, so you won't be left wanting.

And ye great and terrible gods, PLEASE do not rely on influencers to plan your trip!!! Instead please accept both my regional and basic trip-planning advice.

Also, disclaimer. Although not considered New England, upstate NY is also an option [matt lucas controversial!!! dot gif]. I will therefore mention it from time to time.

STEP ONE: WHAT ARE YOUR INTERESTS?

It is important to prioritize things that appeal to you. Should you use travel to try new things? 100%. But you don't want to overextend yourself either.

Do you like...NATURE and THE OUTDOORS? Congrats, there's lots to see! From the aforementioned gorgeous woodland, to various mountain ranges, picturesque farms and vineyards, and of course the incredible coast, you're bound to find a piece of nature that speaks to you!

Just in it for the visuals? For mountains, the great Appalachians go all the way up to Maine with some subranges and ranges that might not be subranges but I'm not a geologist so bear with me. Look up vistas of the Adirondacks, the Catskills, the Greens, the Whites.

For water, look up the coasts of Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut. There's also beautiful Lake Champlain shared between New York, Vermont, and Quebec.

I'll be real. You want to drive along windy hills and find a cute little dairy farm with their happy (not so) little free range dairy cows around every corner? Vermont.

The woods? Mostly the northern states: NY, VT, NH, ME. In the latter's Acadia National Park, you can take a trolley through and get immersed in its beauty...and incidentally see where incredibly rich people live deep within or near it, like Stephen King (who is of course always inspired by the area).

Want to actually get all up in it? For a region that's known for its skiing in the winter, you bet it's well known for its hiking opportunities as well. The Appalachian Trial is all over the place, but of course there are plenty of popular day hikes or expert level shit, like Maine's 100 Mile Wilderness. New Hampshire's Mount Washington--I have double-checked this--is indeed the highest peak in the region. If hiking is not your thing but you still want the views, it's a popular tourist destination that provides a train up to the top and things to do and such.

For boating, sailing, what have you, you're definitely gonna find it all up and down the coast, and Lake Champlain, and the Finger Lakes in NY, and--depending on where you're going to fly in and how far you're willing to drive--there's also Niagara Falls, though that is of course stretching the New England mandate (if you're not familiar with the area, it's basically Buffalo, NY, in the western part of the state and abutting Ontario). You can in fact take a ferry service in it called the Maid of the Mist.

As for beaches, you can find all sorts. Sand, rocky, city piers and such. Go Maine if you want fewer people around.

And don't forget that most important of coastal structures, LIGHTHOUSES. Incredibly famous and lovely lighthouses all up and down the coast! Don't neglect them!

What about animals?? Sadly I think you will be too late to go on a boat ride to see our lovely puffin friends, but of course where there's North American woods there are various birds, bears, deer, and butterflies to be seen and admired, so look up what's in the region for your animal of choice. (Seriously, Vladimir Nabokov was studying butterflies all over the place in the area.)

Do you like...FOOD AND WINE? As with every region of this glorious world, you are in for treats!

Are you all about that dairy? My friend, my friend, my friend, verily you cannot skip Vermont. Your local stores and restaurants will have the good shit, but why not go out and find a nice dairy to tour (Vermont cheddar! My kingdom for Vermont cheddar!) or treat yourself by going to the Ben & Jerry's factory in Waterbury, VT.

What about maple syrup? Vermont takes tops in my opinion for this as well, but upstate NY will also have great places you can go if you'd like to try tapping trees yourself, or see how it's made, or simply sample their delicious wares.

Don't forget about fruit! Fall season is orchard season, baby!!! Especially find those apple orchards and enjoy picking your own apples, drinking their apple cider, or eating those delicious fucking cider donuts. Man.

Like some wine? Finger Lakes region of NY is well known for its excellent quality vineyards and wineries.

What about beer? I'll be real. Boston. Boston has flavors of Sam Adams the rest of us can only dream of.

Seafood? Your coastal states again. Maine of course is well known for its lobster. The region for its clams...I'm sure there are many individual states, towns, or stretches of coast that lay claim to the best lobster rolls or clam bakes or clam chowders or how it best prepares their quahogs or other seafood...I am not a seafood person myself so I don't have a particular opinion, but those are some of the dishes to look into if you are!

What about farm fresh in general? You could probably find that most places.

Do you like...CITIES? While Boston is a must-see city, you've also got Providence and Newport RI, Burlington VT, Concord NH, and Portland ME. And yo, don't forget Montreal QC!

They all have a variety of vibes that might suit you, from fancy restaurants to university campuses to lake or ocean coastline. As with any part of New England, layers of North American/United States history abound. Boston especially, though, is expensive. But let's talk about some perks!

In Maine, your biggest city is Portland. Some quirky and local Maine color, like if you're an outdoorsy person maybe you appreciate LL Bean gear; they've got the flagship store there. But it's got great amenities and sits right on the ocean. If you want to be on the Maine coast with maybe fewer people, well, a lot of rich folks have felt the same way. If you want to see some cute towns along with eye-popping mansions, consider Kennebunkport (famous summer home area of the Bush family) or Cape Elizabeth, neither of which are too far from Portland. If you'd like to venture further north, I recommend Bar Harbor; that's the place to go to see Acadia National Park, take a boat out to puffins at certain times of year, go whale watching, a cute small town with (at the time of my having been there) less of the old money contingent.

In New Hampshire, I've mostly driven through but I have seen Concord (its capital), which had some great buildings and some good food. It was fun to walk around and not a bad place to center yourself if you're looking to take trips to various areas, from the ocean to the mountains.

In Vermont, Burlington is right on Lake Champlain, so right away you've got those great water views and activities. It's also fun to walk around Church Street Marketplace, that multi-block pedestrian area rare to find in the US. Also, it's a less than two-hour drive up to Montreal, which is one of the jewels of Canada! (Alas, I have not been myself; I have however discovered that the further north you go, the more likely you are to walk into a place and they'll casually be speaking French. Très cool.)

Connecticut I can't really speak to at all, as I've never been there, but they've got a lot of major college/university areas like Wesleyan, Trinity, and of course Yale.

I haven't been to Rhode Island either, but I hear much more tell from those who have. Providence is said to be great, and between Brown and RISD you're bound to find great museums and fun things to do. Newport is where you want to go for a seaside vacation, the type of place with a lot of history, pretty buildings, and incredible piers for the boating types. It's also an area for the old rich, like the Kennedys. Food scene's supposed to be good, too.

BOSTON. I mean...it's expensive but it's great! I loved walking along the river. But my favorite thing was walking the Freedom Trail! If you're unfamiliar, it's a path marked throughout the city that stops at historically significant places, like the site of the Boston massacre, Paul Revere's house, Old Ironsides, and some graveyards with very, very old dates (relative to the country's founding). But I won't lie, one of my favorite parts was that, walking through one of the neighborhoods it takes you through, it was the only time I heard someone speak with a true Boston accent. Utter delight. Be still, my heart!

Anyway, if you're into the things that colleges and universities can offer you, Harvard and MIT and whatnot will have you more than covered. Plenty of others in the area, like Tufts, Boston College, and so on.

Boston is also home to wonderful museums! Not only the Fine Arts Museum, but the Gardner Museum that was subject to an infamous art theft, the Museum of Science, and all the college museums, etc.

And finally, sports! If you like pro sports, Boston hosts many of the local and New England teams with their own rich histories. The Red Sox, the Patriots, the Celtics, the Bruins.

Elsewhere in Massachusetts, for your obligatory rich person hangout because it's breathtakingly gorgeous: Cape Cod, including the islands of Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard, is your area.

Do you like...TOWNS? There are so many.

Massachusetts and New England in general have a wealth of higher learning institutions, many of which are situated in towns of various sizes. In MA alone, you've got Williamstown (Williams College), Amherst (Amherst, Hampshire, UMass), South Hadley (Mount Holyoke), and Northampton (Smith). Vermont's got Middlebury (Middlebury College), Maine's got Brunswick (Bowdoin), New York has Poughkeepsie (Vassar) and Ithaca (Ithaca College and Cornell). And that's just off the top of my head!!! These places are smaller but have to host kids and their families, and they're old, so you get beautiful campuses, quirky eats, and lots of brochures telling you what entertainment is to be had. And because many of these places and some I'm sure I haven't named belong to the colonial colleges, the ivy league, or the seven sisters, they will be thrilled to tell you all about the famous people who graced their halls.

If you want to chill in the Adirondacks in upstate NY, and you want tiny towns, I have a friend who often travels to the Keene area. The pictures she sends me are exquisite. Otherwise I would maybe just find places close to where you're going to headquarter yourself for the trip.

Do you like...HISTORY and HISTORICAL FIGURES? New England! Is! North American and United States history! And more!

First, acknowledge and seek out the First Nations and their tribes. You've got a lot to choose from, such as the Wampanoag, who have their own version of the Thanksgiving story to tell. Off the top of my head, some more are Mohawk, Oneida, Mohican...not sure how far east the Iroquois Confederacy stretched.

This naturally leads into early European colonization, mostly Puritans from England and the Dutch in the early days. This will lead you to the French and Indian War, the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, and so on. I won't exhaust the list of what you can see, but if you have any interest in those periods of history, look up what battles or other places intrigue you, and figure out what is on offer in the modern day.

Past the colonial era and more into the later waves of immigration, there are old and famous enclaves of Irish, Italian, French, and Portuguese immigrants. If their cuisine or history are relevant to you, do some research (I've a friend who grew up bilingual with an old dialect of French still spoken in RI). Of more modern waves of immigration I know little.

What about specific figures? I've already mentioned a couple presidential families, but you'll also find a ton of artists and writers from New England, or who made NE their home.

Once again, off the top of my head: Washington Irving ("The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" "Rip Van Winkle"), Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Louisa May Alcott, Elizabeth Bishop, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Herman Melville, James Fenimore Cooper, Phillis Wheatley, Anne Bradstreet. Lol, those are just writers. Who else...shit, of course, all the civil rights stuff! Frederick Douglass did a lot of his work in New England; consider also the big names in women's suffrage, like Susan B Anthony. Utica is a good city to think of if you're into the conferences where activists like Douglass were active for both abolition and suffrage; it was also a stop on the Underground Railroad.

I think we've covered all the major categories of interest, so let's move on to step two.

STEP TWO: NARROW IT DOWN

I hope as you read the first section you were writing down ideas, and have since discussed them with your mother. Now you have to consider

--How much time can you take off for the trip? --How much money are you willing to spend? --How much, and how, are you willing to travel during the trip?

For example, maybe you're the type of travelers who are happy to spend one day in a place and move onto the next. Or maybe you find that exhausting, and want to stay in one small area. Or maybe you like to split the difference, pick a headquarters, and go on some day trips.

How far away from New England do you live? If you have to fly, the cheapest flights are likely going to be into a big city; in my experience even flying somewhere like Burlington will cost you a lot extra (again, depending on what airlines you have available and how close you are). The area is served well by trains. Because there are lots of towns and big cities to travel to, you can often find shuttles from the towns (especially college towns) to and from the big cities. Obviously it's the US, so cars work well.

Rank interests. If the leaves in fall rank number one, you should probably cross off the southerly states now. But consider if you also might want lakes, oceans, what type of mountains. What other outdoor activities you might like to do, etc. See if there are more historical places you're interested in connected to one town over another. Get what I mean? If you're only going to be gone for a week, I wouldn't suggest staying at more than two places if you really want to dig your toes in.

Also, between the two of you...or your mom and whomever she's going with, make sure the compromises are good. Each person should have a highly ranked item accessible to them wherever you go.

Now, it's time to get into the real research.

STEP THREE: THE REAL RESEARCH

I kid you not, the first website I go to whenever I'm going somewhere completely new is wikivoyage. If you're unfamiliar, it's the travel subsidiary of wikipedia. It's absolutely fantastic, because it gives you overviews of everything and has current and correct links to associated websites. Like if you've never been to Boston, maybe you don't know the pros and cons of getting there. It'll talk to you about how to get there by car, by plane, by train, by bus, by boat. It'll talk about the different neighborhoods, list local foods you have to try, all the museums and places of interest, etc. It will link you to the appropriate websites for public transportation, and in Boston's case, tips for riding the T. Let's be real, it also discusses areas where it's safest for tourists to be. And it does this for everywhere. Here's the link for the New England wikivoyage page.

This is an excellent first stop because it links to real resources, and gives you a good overview of any of the places you're interested in. Jump straight into that rabbit hole!

That way, if you know you have to fly in, you can look at all the main airports of the region and start working from there.

Also consider where to stay. Wikivoyage will give you an overview of that, but consider associations and things that will help you make sure you're staying at a good place. I know airbnb is the rage, but consider, if you're able, a) inns and such are subject to more laws and regulations meant to protect you and b) they can be so quaint or so grand! Peruse the Historical Hotels of America, or New England Inns and Resorts, both organizations meant to help and support such places, many of which are locally owned and operated.

Also, wikivoyage will give you overviews of the weather of where you're going and at what time of year. Consider accordingly.

STEP FOUR: ONLY PLAN 50% OF YOUR TIME

So. You've decided where you're going to stay and how you're going to get there. Now it's time to narrow down your activities.

Only plan 50% of your time. I am so serious. This will create so much less stress and conflict. Only plan half of each day. Or if there's an activity that is a full day, don't plan anything for the next day if possible. That way there's room to, you know, be late to things because life is as life does, or if something gets canceled you can try the next day, AND it leaves space for things that you won't know you'll want to do until you get there. Like maybe you've never been to the Atlantic before, and once you see it all you'll want to do is sit and stare at it. Which is LEGIT. So leave yourself time to do things like that, hey?

STEP FIVE: FIND A REAL MAP. PLEASE.

Friend, I hear you already. "But I've got gps on my phone/in my car!" Well, I don't care!!!! I know this tech has come a long way since then, but I swear to you when I was in Maine several years ago, we had to rely on my map reading skills for half the trip, on a real map. Accurate, current real maps are getting so much harder to find now, especially if you're not in the target region, but please take the time to source one. You really never know...and ALWAYS use common sense before blindly following gps. Literally have known people who drove straight into lakes in Vermont -_-

Also expect cell service to be spotty in less populated places. Again, having a real map on hand will be peace of mind.

If you are taking any driving trips, plan out your route beforehand. Look up pictures of your destination online, especially streetview, so you know what to look for. Also, popular destinations will have good directions on their own websites.

In my fic when I say there are no roadsides in much of New England? I meant it.

STEP FIVE: PACK LIGHT AND PACK RIGHT

I swear you don't need all that. You pack it, you carry it.

Again, look at the general weather, and then closer to time don't neglect the actual forecast.

If you're going hiking or out on the water, look up the typical weather patterns for that trail or coast. They're often fickle.

Leave room for new books ^_^

STEP SIX: ENJOY

The hard part's already over. Relax and have fun! And then, if you're going along anon, come back a few months hence and tell me all about it!

I hope this has been helpful. Feel free to ask whatever else.

Bon voyage!

[oshaskell]

Dozing noblewoman and her strange young friend.

[feroluce]

So this ficlet-ish thing was inspired by @hydrachea, nsfw super genius extraordinaire, but also by the fact that in addition to Boothill's left eye being cybernetic, I like to hc even the parts of him that look human aren't fully natural. I mean the dude eats bullets, after all. I think he should also have vents in his mouth so he can literally blow smoke/steam, it would look super cool. Think Father Gascoigne or Studio BONES' Todoroki. We as a fandom deserve that!!

So anyway, of course, sometimes these vents get blocked up and need to be cleaned manually. Thankfully, Dan Heng is super helpful ☆

Like there's one day where Boothill is lazing around in the archives, fresh off a bounty and happily soaking up the luxury of the Astral Express after however long he's spent tracking his prey through all the dust and dirt with almost no rest.

Boothill likes it in the archives. It's not silent, but it's quiet. There's no music and only muffled voices from outside, but there's the hum of all the computer systems. It makes for a nice place to hide away and recharge when he's just finished exhausting himself.

And besides, Dan Heng is there.

Sometimes the two of them talk back and forth, but today it's mostly quiet...except for-

"I didn't know it was possible for you to get sick."

...Except for Boothill having to constantly clear his throat. That's the thing about your mark trying to flee into the desert. You either go after them and get sand everywhere (and even worse, sticky sand once it gets all bloody) or you wuss out and lose out on the bounty. Personally, Boothill likes being able to afford to eat.

"Grit's stuck in a vent somewhere, 'n' the usual maintenance ain't gettin' it. I'll prob'ly have ta manually dig it out." But later, when he's not laid out half asleep on Dan Heng's extra futon. Usually after a chase as long as this one took, he can shut down for almost a full day. He doesn't want to get up yet.

Something shadows over him, and reflex demands Boothill's eye open. Dan Heng steps around him on his way to some drawer built in the wall on the other side of the room or something. Boothill closes his eye again.

From under his hat he hears the sounds of rummaging, drawers sliding open and shut, the swish of a long coat. The shadow returns.

"Sit up, just momentarily. I have something to help." And Boothill groans a tired don't wanna, but he does it anyway, he hauls himself upright into a kneel. And then he sits up a little straighter because he realizes Dan Heng is standing right over him.

Dan Heng tells him "open your mouth," and Boothill's jaw pops open without his permission, without even a second thought, and hey, what protocol in there ok'd THAT?!?!

Before he can really unpack whatever the heck that just was, though, Dan Heng murmurs for him to say so if he needs them to stop, and then he's sliding a long, hard rod down Boothill's throat, tipped with some soft little brush he probably uses for all his fancy archival equipment.

Dan Heng tells him the handle of the brush is straight and can't be bent, he needs to move his head to be able to reach the vent in his throat. Boothill hums affirmatively; he can't do anything else with his mouth occupied.

Dan Heng's free hand holds him by his jaw, tilts it up slowly but firmly so he has to look straight up at him.

Boothill feels dizzy.

The cycle of blue blood through his artificial heart whirrs just a bit faster, his temperature sensor pings an internal alarm to warn for imminent overheating. Boothill curls his fingers into the guard over his knee as Dan Heng carefully brushes at the dust irritating him. All other sounds- the hum of running equipment, the occasional beep from the computers, the noise of the crew outside of this room- seem to pull away, until all Boothill can focus on is the steady and measured breathing from the man above him.

"Almost done."

Thank the aeons, maybe one of them likes him after all.

"Your tongue is in the way... I'm going to hold it down, ok?"

Nevermind.

The fingers holding his jaw curl around his chin, thumb slipping past open lips to dip into his mouth and pin down his tongue. One of his teeth catch on the digit, breaking skin just enough to bleed a drop where he can taste it. Dan Heng doesn't even flinch. Another temperature alarm pings off in his brain, then another, then another.

Boothill has never been shy about eye contact but oh, god, it nearly kills him when dull green irises flick away from their task and look down right at him as his mouth is held open. He quickly squeezes his own eye shut for some relief.

With his vision cut off, the rest of his senses automatically recalibrate to compensate. He can hear every breath even more distinctly now, every soft inhale and exhale, feel the strain in his neck, the softness of the brush, the hard floor beneath his knees, the hand holding his jaw and the fingerprints that feel like they should leave burns in his skin, the taste of Dan Heng heavy on his tongue-

Forget it, eye open, eye open!!

"Alright. There's one last pebble stuck."

Boothill had been trained to endure torture, back on his homeworld. It was part of being in a gang, part of being a bounty hunter.

Somehow, keeping himself quiet and still as Dan Heng inches the brush even further down the back of his throat is a profoundly similar experience.

The seconds tick by, Dan Heng's brow furrowing, face growing ever more concentrated and Boothill struggles not to watch him too closely, fights down the noise that suddenly tries to escape him as the brush withdraws-

"Swallow."

Stars and aeons, Dan Heng is going to be the death of him.

Boothill swallows. He feels it when the movement finally dislodges the loosened pebble from his vent.

His face feels shockingly cold now bereft of touch, even though Dan Heng's hands are always cool. He asks to see, and Boothill's mouth is already open again to show him, even as he belatedly realizes he could have just told him it had worked.

"Good." There's the slightest smile on Dan Heng's lips as he finally, mercifully, leans back out of his personal space, goes to put away the brush. "That should feel better now." Boothill spends a moment dizzy and dazed, feeling the need to blink spots out of his eye even though his vision is clear. He still hasn't moved off his knees.

What the fudge.

[captainschaos]

< CAPTAIN'S SLIMECICLE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE TIMELINE >

It's here!!! This is it!!!!! well okay tbh it's still very rough, there's a lot of detailwork that is kind of loose and stuff I'm still theorizing/thinking about, but this is the big look! I also cut down on a lot of the stuff about characters to focus on the timeline itself, so I might make a follow-up post with that stuff because ily council. But this is my interpretation of the scu timeline! I know there's a lot of malleability when it comes to the scu, but even within that there's certain parts I kinda took and ran a bit far with, so hopefully it all makes sense. The line between interpretation of canon and creation of headcanon is thin. Also, since my timeline isn't actually a line, it'd be a bit hard to watch along with, but I'll link the playlist of my personal preferred viewing order anyway HERE! And without further ado, here's my timeline :]

[Long post below the cut- enjoy!]

The Slimecicle Cinematic Universe follows the path of Slimecicle, one of many players who wish to achieve god-power. Players are able to travel between realms with ease, but altering those realms? That takes a considerable amount of power. However, this is not unachievable, and Charlie is one among a group of players attempting to become godlings.

VOCAB I USE: 

Godling: A being of god-power that can alter realms, and primarily uses it for creation.

Demonling: A being of god-power that can alter realms, and primarily uses it for destruction. 

Realm: What we would think of a minecraft world, a separate place that players travel to when they find new places. 

World: Within a realm, it is the earthen spirit itself. More abstract, but a powerful force to be interacted with, and has some semblance of life, magic, and almost sentience itself. 

Dimension: The Overworld, Nether, and End are different dimensions. 

Player: a person who largely interacts with realms, able to move between many, and able to become a godling if powerful enough.

Wild spirit: a spirit somewhere between a person and a beast, connected to the world as opposed to the way players can interact with realms. While both players and wild spirits can be connected to mobs, the connection is generally stronger and more widespread for wild spirits. 

God-power: Expressed by things like creative mode, op, and VR, powers that can alter realms and enforce some kind of control over players within them. 

Plight: What happens to a godling when they are forced to die without respawning or in an otherwise more permanent/impactful way, an effect other than a mortal death. Can be broken out of, but is incredibly difficult, and can have lingering effects unless truly ended. 

< PRIMARY CHARACTERS >

Charlie “Slime” Slimecicle:

Godling of food, enchanting, crafting, and smelting

Plight: DEATH (if worn down enough, he will not suffer a normal plight as other godlings would, but would become mortal and truly die)

Middle child

A shapeshifter by nature of being a slime, and his natural adaptability seems to be related to his proficiency with god-power. 

“Condi” Condifiction: 

Godling of other dimensions

Plight: caged (trapped in a location/pocket dimension of his own, and more importantly, trapped in his own mind in a whirl of penned-up hyperactivity that brings insanity)

Eldest

Condi, Charlie, and Grizz don’t remember if they’re biological brothers or not, but they grew up together, and Condi was always the most adept, the “alchemist assassin,” who kept them safe. 

Grizzly(plays): 

Godling of nature, weapons, and tools

Plight: shackled (forced to comply to the orders of the being that killed him, though it may appear as if he has respawned as normal. Can also more generally inhibit his ability to use his own power as he wishes)

Youngest (twin with Bizly)

Has gained animalistic traits from swapping power with Bizly, mainly vaguely bear/doggish. Since meeting they called themselves twins, and through this exchange have no reason to say they do not fit the word. 

Bizly(channel): 

Godling of mobs

Youngest (twin with Grizzly)

Plight: muzzled (at the most extreme is forced to disappear completely, being entirely unable to be heard or perceived by anyone. Can also more generally cause his words to lose meaning, and it is supernaturally difficult for him to be taken seriously or listened to.)

The only member of the Council who did not grow up with the group: he was a wild spirit (wolven) that was discovered by Grizzly, and slowly honed shapeshifting powers and traded bits of magic with Grizz to walk with players. 

(J)Schlatt: 

Demonling of food and nature

Grew personally slighted by Charlie and the Council, and eventually trapped them in a separate timeline of his own creation to attempt to kill Charlie. 

< TIMELINE OVERVIEW >

Begins with IF ONE PERSON DIES EVERYONE DIES

The VR SERIES (videos marked with vr.) and CHARLIE’S ESCAPADES (videos marked with esc.) then happen at the same time, with the final video of the VR Series being when Schlatt’s timeline is created.

Charlie's escapades then repeat in Schlatt’s timeline, followed by NATURAL DISASTERS, HARDEST DIFFICULTY, and 100 DAYS. 

At the end of 100 Days Condi activates the time loop, which he cannot use to break out of Schlatt’s timeline but he can use to bring everyone back to the beginning of it.

CHARLIE’S DREAMSCAPE ESCAPADES (videos marked with drm.) take place in the haze between his death at the end of 100 Days and him fully being transported by Condi to the beginning of the time loop.

< THE TIMELINE >

MINECRAFT, BUT IF ONE PERSON DIES EVERYONE DIES: 

The conflict between Charlie and Schlatt begins here. Charlie is a trickster spirit at heart, and it is consistently seen to overlap with his joy in experimentation and creation, leading his pursuit for godly power.

This is one of the first places Charlie goes to try and hold his own among others who are growing in power like he aims to, and he at first struggles, as seen in how he fails to survive for long. However, he quickly makes use of this mechanic in his own way, and uses the forced respawns to tease the others. When Schlatt joins, this is especially targeted at him, to his infuriation. 

Schlatt goes to Carson, who appears to be the leading godling of this realm, to ask for Slime’s removal, but he says that “I’m not sure that I can really do that.” This hints to some sort of power Charlie has that is potentially greater than even Carson and Schlatt, the most powerful entities there. In the same conversation it’s said that Schlatt is a broken record, hinting that he has trouble often with wanting to control others and remove them if they bother him. 

This showcases the conflict of the whole series: The rising godling Charlie Slimecicle threatening the power of the demonling Schlatt. 

MINECRAFT IN VR IS ABSOLUTELY TRAUMATIZING (vr.): 

Charlie, Condi, Grizzly, and others begin working in a realm where they start experimenting with more control over their world, specifically by exerting control over themselves and their physicality in the plane (expressed through vr use). 

Narwhal is notably present from the very beginning, as a figure of power among the group, and Wheatie is also a member from the start. 

The excursion near the end of the video to the Nether is most notable as it is recalled in a flashback during the 100 Hunters video, specifically when Condi falls into the lava while bridging. 

MINECRAFT IN VR WILL HURT YOU IN NEW WAYS (vr.): 

Notably Schlatt joins this world, and it’s clear Charlie has a slight position of power over him in this place, and it makes him uncomfortable. 

Bizly also enters the scene in this video, first in a beastly purple and gold skin, then mimicking Herobrine, slowly changing from a more beastly form to that of a player. He was a wolven wild spirit found by Grizzly, and as he gave some of his power to Grizzly to assist his path toward godhood, he gained power from Grizzly that helped him act as a player. 

At the end of this video, Charlie, Condi, Grizzly, and others all partake in first a spleefing tournament, then a “gladiatorial bloodbath” which Charlie wins. Bizly watches this battle, and Narwhal and Wheatie both appear to have been utilizing god-power (creative mode) to create the arena, pouring power into it that Charlie proves himself best suited for. This is another of the beginning signs that he excels in this power.

Schlatt is not present for these later events.

I INVITED YOUTUBERS TO PLAY MINECRAFT VR AND THIS HAPPENED (vr.): 

The rest of the council is not present, but Schlatt and other figures on the server are. 

This video is largely just an example of Schlatt attempting to show he’s more powerful than Charlie, and Charlie continuing to fuck with Schlatt and generally make things worse. 

Poppies make an appearance in the video, as an attempted and rejected peace offering from Charlie to Schlatt. 

MINECRAFT VR HAS DRIVEN MY SOUL FROM MY BODY (vr.): 

The video immediately starts off with Charlie and Travis claiming that Schlatt seems upset, while he vehemently denies it. 

Schlatt also seems to be using the same kind of worldbending power Charlie has been utilizing in this video (VR), potentially as yet another way to try and maintain power over him. However, Charlie continues to prove he has greater knowledge and control over this power, and then Schlatt injures himself while utilizing the physicality-altering power, and this pushes Schlatt over the edge. 

Schlatt gives an apple to Travis, taking control of him, though the power of the fruit isn’t known to anyone but the goat demonling yet. Travis begins to follow Schlatt and work with him to attempt to capture Charlie and then kill and cast a spell on him. It is with the symbolic death in the grave that Schlatt manages to latch onto Charlie’s spirit and begin creating a separate timeline in which he has control over Slime and the Council. 

The rest of the video is a semi-hallucinogenic experience Charlie has as the spell is cast and he, along with his friends, are trapped in Schlatt’s timeline. 

Travis is killed, and with this lifeforce and the ritual he enacts over Charlie, Schlatt puts his foot in the door to start working toward making Charlie mortal, and finally get back at him for the ways he’s taunted him.

ROLL (esc.): 

Narwhal is given power in a realm of Charlie’s, a compromise to utilize Narwhal’s power and allow Charlie to attempt to expand his own. This was an idea proposed to Narwhal by Charlie not long after the creation of the VR realm, as Charlie started to come into his own in that kind of power and became more and more excited about the possibilities. 

Flowers make an appearance as a protective entity. 

During this video a site reminiscent of Molympus is also created, as an island floating above the land is created by the die. 

Near the end of the video the die is dropped by Narwhal and Charlie gains control of it, and more of Narwhal’s power is passed to him. He is immediately able to use its power far more rapidly than Narwhal, and the world is destroyed by their battle. In the destructive blast, Condi, Bizly, and Grizzly are able to escape with the more powerful Charlie, but the weakened Narwhal and Wheatie fail to escape, and are destroyed, their power shattering and being absorbed by the newest godlings, the Council. 

MINECRAFT, BUT IT’S PAY-TO-WIN (OR LOSE) (esc.): 

After the blast, Charlie blames himself for Narwhal and Wheatie’s deaths, so he sets out to experiment with his newfound power on his own. 

This is the most raw of Narwhal’s remaining chance power, which Charlie begins to learn to harness by not being able to control exactly what it does, but by being able to shift how likely each effect may be (changing prices).

MINECRAFT, BUT EVERY BLOCK FIGHTS BACK (esc.):

Condi and Grizzly, concerned for Charlie, ask him to let them help with his experimentation, and suggest they ask Schlatt to come into the equation as another power on par with Narwhal to help. However, they decide that all will be on equal grounds to hope to preserve everyone equally, so Schlatt is not put in godly status. Bizly is missing from this video, having been pushed to the side by Schlatt, unbeknownst to the others. 

Charlie is the only one with god-power (op) to begin with, but he is walked through much of it by Schlatt.

Grizzly is at one point cornered by Schlatt, and threatened with an apple. Grizzly would have no way of knowing of the fruit’s power, and yet he immediately recognizes it and reacts with intense fear. This is some of the strongest evidence for a time loop, with residual memories that would allow Grizzly, the most affected by Schlatt’s use of apples, to remember it when face-to-face with it. It is also important to note that while Charlie does not seem to remember as much as Grizz, he is the one to send Schlatt away by overpowering him with more apples. 

After this, Charlie says he has given god-power in the realm to all members (op), which Schlatt immediately makes use of to try and seize power. 

After this the whole group slowly devolves into using their power more and more. It’s clear Condi, Grizzly, and Charlie have become just as adept at it as Schlatt, using it for jokes and cheats. 

MINECRAFT, BUT IT’S WAY MORE TRAUMATIZING (esc.): 

After the last escapade, Condi and Grizzly suggest they go to their own realm without Schlatt, and Charlie agrees. Because they do not have quite as much control the world becomes far more dangerous. 

This also could be the way they searched for Bizly after he had been missing for some time, as he is more beastlike in origin. This world may even be his creation, not Slime’s, which would further cement why they did not utilize creative god-powers. 

This video also showcases the tendency Charlie and Grizzly are characterized by in wanting to find ways to live amongst the challenges that face them, not necessarily fight to escape. They are far more inclined than Condi to settle in their tower and hunker down there and learn to live with the dangers around them, which is an attitude they continue to showcase in how they handle the timeloop. 

MINECRAFT, BUT 100 PLAYERS ARE HUNTING ME (esc.): 

Bizly has returned to the group, and goes along with Condi and Charlie for the next of Charlie’s exercises in his power. 

This is another example of Charlie’s experimentation with randomized power, as a bunch of random people are spawned in and create entropy in their path. 

Halfway through the video, after all three of them have died, Charlie resorts to using his god-powers, but it is too explosive and causes the world to crash. He shows his growth by reining in it quickly though. 

There is an explicit flashback to the escapade to the nether in the VR series, when Condi fell before. This time, he does not fall. 

Thatoneperson is an important figure, and is clearly more than just a hunter. They exhibit godlike power that hints at them potentially being Schlatt in disguise. This would be the chance used to muzzle Bizly, when the ordeal with Thatoneperson being killed leads to his being pushed off the fortress, a death that could be latched onto to muzzle him. This takes gradual effect, and he remains for the rest of the video, but is missing from Natural Disaster. 

In the End fight with the dragon, Charlie yet again exhibits god-power to summon every hunter to fight by their side. 

<< THE TIME LOOP BEGINS. >>

Charlie’s escapades all repeat in this timeline but under Schlatt’s watch, no longer as a way for Charlie to grow, but a way to torture the Council and weaken them. 

MINECRAFT, BUT EVERY 5 MINUTES THERE’S A NATURAL DISASTER: 

When Charlie eats the apple early in the video, it accomplishes what Schlatt began doing right before the time loop was created: it makes him mortal. He can now truly, fully be killed, if done in a way powerful enough to stop his respawn. 

Immediately after this Charlie is notably able to give Grizzly an apple as a help, not a hindrance, which could be tied to his emerging domain over food. Grizzly’s domain over nature also begins to emerge as he gives poppies that begin to work as protective symbols. 

Schlatt quickly gets them to build him a church, showing how he’s trapped them in a state they forget their own emerging god-power, and taunts them with the light to the command blocks later, showing the torturous pointlessness of the whole experience. 

Grizz becomes shackled by Schlatt at the final volcano, but Charlie is able to take control of the realm from Schlatt and Grizz is able to break out to an extent. Schlatt does still remain in power over the timeline as a whole though, and retreats to regroup.

THE HARDEST MINECRAFT DIFFICULTY: 

With picking the chests at the start of the video, the Council solidifies their domains of power as godlings. They had already began developing these, but this used some of the last chance magic Charlie had from Narwhal to allow them to concentrate their power into stronger, more specific areas. This whole video is an example of the Council going all out with their powers, and truly testing their limits. 

When the apple is given to Grizzly and he falls, he becomes shackled again. Though Schlatt is not in this world, he is pulling the strings as this happens in his timeline, and so the shackled Grizzly is still forced against his brothers. However, he strains against his restraints, and manages to make the fight fair enough that his brothers can beat him. 

The wolves were supposed to just be a joke. A joke between twins. Bizly’s wolfish, he wouldn’t really hurt them. If Condi hadn’t spawned them in the nether, it would have just been an illusion, a prank. It was just bad luck. “I may have been the boy who cried for the wolves, but I will not cry for you.” When shackled, and with Bizly muzzled, Grizz forgets that Bizly was the dearest wolf he cried for. 

In Grizzly’s last moments, Bizly, who had been fighting against his own plight for a while now, sees that Grizzly’s being controlled by his own and he can either be shackled in the mind as his body fights his family, or he can be shackled fully as a ghost that cannot act against them. In saving Grizzly, Bizly has to kill him to turn the shackles to a kind Grizzly can fight out of. He barely manages to reach through enough to help them get to the end, but his shackling means he cannot be in the world with them, and even that small effort to help them doesn’t have any real use.

WE SPENT 100 DAYS IN HARDCORE MINECRAFT: 

Charlie has forgotten everything. After Hardest Difficulty, the Council continued to try and live their lives, but in the wake of Grizzly’s absence Condi threw himself into research, locking himself in his labs for long stints of time, feeling something was off about Grizz’s “death.” He was eventually caged there, and Bizly faded further under his muzzling as Schlatt used this opportunity to take them all away from Charlie. 

Schlatt then created an environment filled with death: a zombie apocalypse. Natural disasters also, notably, play a large role. This would be the final trial where he wore Charlie down to the point he could kill him.

Each of the Council appears in a diluted way how they can through their plight, and Bizly, having fought his off the longest, is able to work through his in many ways. He appears first out of the Council as Florida Man, accompanied by wild animals that he can interact with as a wild spirit.

Tommy enters, a wild spirit (zombie) who has started to move toward a player form and demonling power very similarly to Bizly. Grizzly ended up trading power with Bizly because they were at similar power levels, but Schlatt is able to give without any side effects because of his immense power, and Tommy comes into power over the 100 days as a demonling under Schlatt.

Charlie finds Condi’s lab where he’s been caged, and reads hints in Condi’s diary that he remembers what was done to Grizzly and is trying to fix it by recreating the world. His caged mind does not recognize Charlie, but Charlie is able to help Condi partially break out of his cage, and he is able to go out into the world though much of the mental caging effects linger. 

“In the new world, Charlie, everyone will be happy. Because I’m going to be a god.” He knows.

Condi is not successful in hopping worlds- he hops times back to the beginning of Schlatt’s timeline. He can’t escape it completely, but can form a time loop so they can try again. It doesn’t seem like it’s worked at first, but it is in the moments between a death and respawn that he can transport them, and so he is able to go back when he “dies.”

The Blood Bachelor’s arena somewhat resembles the arena from the VR series, yet another ritual to whittle down Charlie’s mortality. 

Ranboo is another upcoming godling/wild spirit, this time pulled in by Charlie, talked about more in the section for Beating Minecraft w/ Ranboo. He may have some idea of the fact that the apocalypse was created by Schlatt, twisted to be expressed by his conspiracy. 

Wizzly is the still shackled Grizzly, fighting to regain control of his powers. He has some version of his own knowledge of the timeline as a whole, knowing that Charlie is the “protagonist,” the focus of Schlatt’s attention. 

On day 99, Schlatt comes with apples, his strongest weapon. This is when Charlie starts to remember, and fears him, but the reminder of Bizly and the others pulls him away just before he eats. Bizly, who Charlie can barely remember, but with the knowledge Schlatt forced on him he now realizes has been working to keep him safe even though he’s a faded version of himself. Charlie then goes back, hoping he can bring him back before he’s faded completely, and he’s able to call him and the others for the final battle.

In this fight Tommy is seen wielding god-power, as he has become a demonling over the 100 days.

Charlie uses Condi’s machine to world-hop, and here, in a realm of Condi’s power, Schlatt attempts to finally, fully, kill Charlie. But in the moment where Schlatt kills him and attempts to stop him from respawning, Condi’s power is able to take Charlie not to mortal death, but back to the beginning. They will try again until they are all saved. Until Bizly is unmuzzled, Grizzly unshackled, Condi uncaged, and Charlie survives. 

It is also worth noting that Bizly, Grizzly, and Ranboo were left behind, but at the mention of Charlie, Grizzly summons zombies, saying “let’s do it all again, run it back from the top”, and they are killed too, allowing them to be transported as well as Condi begins the timeloop.

<< THE TIME LOOP IS ENGAGED. >>

BEATING MINECRAFT AS A SLIME (drm.):  I FINALLY BEAT MINECRAFT FOR THE FIRST TIME… (FT. RANBOO) (drm.): 

Both of these videos serve roughly the same purpose, as hallucinations/dreams Charlie experiences between time loops. There are many variations of them, all being very rudimentary ways of him changing a world and seeing how he fares, similar to his original escapades when growing his god-power. He begins to encounter Ranboo, a wild spirit of the place between dimensions (hence the enderman/End and ghast/Nether influences) that manages to interact with these dreams as Charlie moves between dimensions/times, and is eventually pulled into the timeline through Charlie’s power. However, he also begins to move toward godhood as a result of being gifted some of Charlie’s power. 

These are the beginning of Charlie potentially being able to not only alter a realm, but create entire realms of his own.

[exk444]

drones that carry around a pocket-sized instruction manual with them at all times, to be presented as an answer to questions that can't be answered either vocally, visually or through demonstration..... with bonus points if it includes those anatomical solid black line illustrations that label parts and their purpose? i'm going insane with the mental image of presenting a little instruction manual with a diagram detailing a gag hidden behind a mask as an eloquent little explanation for a lack of verbal responses when meeting someone new, or as a fantastic dictionary of uses, functions, commands and triggers for anyone who reads to use....... <3

[echthr0s]

my one dream in life is that some Wolf of Wall Street wannabe ass dude will see me reading The Fountainhead in public and be like "nice 👉😎👉" and start to try to talk to me about capitalism and as soon as he does, a bear trap snaps closed around his leg and I begin to happily infodump at him about how Roark and Wynand are actually fucking each other through the proxy of Dominique, raising my voice by increments to ensure that I am heard over his screams of agony

[egoarc4de]

wip

[chrismcshell]

do you think they ever.... do u think they. do yuo

[farsight-the-char]

“Dark Mechanicum” should be called like, “Warp Mechanicum”.

Warp is truer to what they are, “Dark” is just kind of meh.

Also it gives like, a better design goal? Play into the Chaos (Divine and Psychic) nature of them, instead of just spikier Admech.

[kimmkitsuragi]

why mustn't i play baldurs gate like an insane person. what's stopping me.

[beelzeballing]

(crashes through the door)

EYE AVATAR VIKTOR ARCANE

thanks for your attention

[crebbyhermit]

[stands ominously in contrapposto] 

sketch and base below 

[mikkeneko]

So here's my beef with ChatGPT. Even aside from the issues with plagiarism, cheating, people using it to fake the work that they absolutely need to be actually doing, &etc.

With the advent of the internet we've been in a situation where all the knowledge available to humanity could, conceivably, be made available to everyone at all times. We've had enormous public works built towards that purpose -- libraries, Wikipedia, archives, everything. But an increasing problem as the years have gone by has been the problem of sorting out the signal from the noise. Sorting out real, helpful advice from scams and snake-oil. Paths that lead to dead-ends as sources of information go down and don't come back up. Trying to figure out who's a real expert, who's even a real person in a sea of fake generated avatars. Distinguishing wheat from chaff, usable material from trash.

And the makers of ChatGPT -- and every other AI programmer who's now trying to jump on the bandwagon -- is looking at this problem and saying "You know what this situation needs? More noise. More fakes. More chaff. More dead-ends and empty shells. I think we have TOO MUCH useful information and real expertise. I think we should shake things up by adding more utterly contentless garbage to the mix." And they created an automated noise generator.

Just imagine being on the bank of a pond and saying "ah, this is a lovely pond, the fish and plants are so beautiful, I'm just having trouble seeing them through the silt in the water" and the person next to you says "I'm going to build a factory on the bank of this pond that does nothing but pour more dirt into it. All day. Every day. Nonstop." And then everyone else overhears them and says "Oh, what a fantastic idea! I'm going to create my OWN sludge-factory to get in on this action!"

[obsessedwhyyes]

Chasing Lightning

Summary: You've spent all day teasing, tempting, taunting - you've really tested Astarion's patience this time. But pushing his boundaries is your favourite past time. Now, here you are, over his knee, about to receive the punishment you longed for, all according to your devious plan. Not that you'd ever admit it, of course.

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2003 Pairing: Astarion x Fem!Reader Content: Shameless smut, bratty reader, Dom!Astarion, spanking, light BDSM elements, rough sex, PiV.

Gif by silverformymonsters on Tumblr!

A/N: This, uh... Yeah, no, this is just shameless smut. I am so sorry. Behold, my spanking fic, written in a moment of madness.

You lay over his knee, eager, anticipating - a willing sacrifice on the altar of his desires. Each trail of his fingertips across the bare skin of your backside is a promise of what is to come.

You deserve this, you think to yourself. All your teasing, all your temptations. The way you pressed yourself against him when no one was looking, your face a pretty picture of faux innocence; the way you swayed your hips as you sauntered ahead of him, glancing back to meet his eyes, knowing they would be heavy with that predatorial hunger which ignites the flames of arousal deep in your belly. All part of your plan, which he is more than willing to oblige.

You hear Astarion’s voice, dark and dripping with honey.

“I propose a game, darling. A test of your intuition, shall we say?” You hear the wicked smile in his voice and it sends shivers of sweet anticipation coursing through your body. “I'll think of a number, one through ten, and you'll have to guess it based on how hard I spank you. Guess wrong, and I'll spank you again - the same strength - until you guess correctly. Understand?”

“Yes,” you breathe, wilfully yielding to him . There’s an intoxicating power in surrender. Your submission is a choice, freely given, and that makes it all the more potent.

In yielding, you become more. More alive, more aware, more you than you've ever been. The world narrows to the point of contact where his hand meets your skin. You are the ocean, and Astarion the moon, pulling you into new shapes with the inexorable force of the tide.

“Very good,” he purrs. His thumb rubs the gentlest of circles on your wrists as he binds them behind you with his spare hand. “Of course, if it becomes too much, just say the word. I can be merciful… on occasion.”

The game begins, a dance of unseen touches and breathless anticipations. Astarion’s hand hovers above you, its presence like the charge before a lightning strike.

“Let’s start with a simple one, shall we?”

His touch against your bare arse is a whisper at first, cool fingertips ghosting across your skin. More caress than slap. You shiver, every nerve alight with anticipation.

“One,” you murmur, more exhale than voice.

Astarion’s chuckle vibrates through you, a low rumble that you feel more than hear as you bury your face into the fabric of his shirt. “Oh, my dear. We’re barely getting started.”

The next strike lands with purpose - a sharp, precise sensation that blooms across your skin. It’s not quite pain, not quite pleasure, but something exquisitely in between that draws a gasp from your lips.

“Four?” you venture.

“Warm, but not quite.”

He strikes - the same strength once more, as promised.

“Three!” you gasp, revelation and pleasure mingling in your voice.

“Good girl,” Astarion praises and gods, how those words affect you. They sink into your skin, sweeter than honey, headier than wine. You crave his approval like air, each word of praise stoking the flames of your arousal higher.

The dance continues, each strike a new verse in this poem written on your skin.

Smack.

Five is a starburst of sensation. You feel this once, twice, three times until you finally guess correctly.

Smack.

Seven lands with the force of a thunderclap, reverberating through your body and leaving you trembling in its wake.

Smack.

Nine leaves you gasping, teetering on the knife-edge between pleasure and pain. The sting melts into a deep, throbbing warmth that pulses in time with your racing heart.

With each strike, each caress, the heat builds, a delicious tension coiling tighter in your core.

Four. Two. Six. Six again. Eight.

You find yourself arching slightly into his touch, eager for more, your body's reactions beyond your control.

Then, finally, comes ten.

It cracks across your flesh like lightning splitting the night sky, a white-hot streak of sensation that sears itself into your very soul. For a moment, the world whites out, every nerve ending alight with electric sensation. You cry out as the sensations overwhelm you, the number torn from your lips. The pain is exquisite, pushing you to the very limits of your endurance.

In the aftermath, you float in a sea of endorphins, your body humming with the echoes of Astarion's touch. Each point of contact throbs in time with your racing heart, a map of exquisite sensation etched onto your inflamed skin.

His cool hand soothes over the heated skin. The contrast sends fresh shivers through you, and you moan gently in response, despite yourself. Your skin is hypersensitive, your mind a mess of exhilaration and desire, eager for more, more, more.

Through the haze of lust, Astarion's voice chimes clear. “My, my. Such enthusiasm,” he purrs. “Tell me, darling, did you spend all day dreaming of this? Because I certainly did… in excruciating detail.”

You turn on his lap to look up into his eyes, suppressing a smile. “Who, me? I would never!”

Astarion's eyebrow arches, smirking at your obvious lie. “Is that so? So the way you rubbed yourself against me all morning like a worg in heat was just a coincidence, was it?”

You can't help but giggle at his accusation, which only seems to fuel his amusement.

“Do you have any idea how long you left me aching today?”

“I'm sorry,” you pout.

“Sorry who?”

“I’m sorry, Astarion.”

You don't mean it. And he knows it.

You could be good - a sweet, obedient little thing. But to be bad - to challenge him, to tease him, to test his patience until he finally brings you to heel - why, that's just so much more fun.

“That’s better,” he coos, his voice and his praise caressing you like silk along your skin as he gazes back at you, expression equal parts warmth and something much darker - hungrier - beneath. “Cheeky little pup."

He pauses, and the air becomes heavy with anticipation.

“But I'm not done with you yet.”

He rises and shifts you in a blur of motion, bending you over the edge of the bed, leaving your face buried in the soft sheets. Suddenly, you're exposed to him, your arousal on full display, and you feel the air against your hypersensitive flesh. Yet, in this moment, there is no place you would rather be than at his mercy. You are eager, dripping with expectation.

In the midst of your lustful haze, you hear the rustling of clothes - the familiar sound of his trousers unlaced. It sends your imagination soaring. Your core aches with what is to come.

But Astarion, the cruel man he is, doesn't enter you. Not yet.

Instead, you feel the head of his cock slide maddeningly, agonisingly slowly up the slit of you. You feel him become slick with your arousal as he slides down, and back up your slit once more, just barely skimming your clit, which throbs desperately with need. Such delicate, teasing touches - enough to drive you to madness.

“Do you want it?” He purrs.

“Mmhm,” you mumble pathetically into the fabric.

“Tell me, love.”

“I want–”

He inserts himself before you finish, colliding with you with the force of planets, stealing the breath from your lungs. The union is electric, a completion so intense that it borders on painful.

His desperation is evident, at odds with the image of restraint he was attempting to conjure as he ruts into you with wild abandon. His hands are everywhere at once, desperate and searching. Your own fingers claw at the fabric of the bedsheets, mindlessly, drunk on the sensation of him.

Astarion’s hands soon settle on your hips, pulling you to him as you collide again, again, again. You aid him, pushing yourself against his hips with each thrust, needing to be closer, always closer. You move together in a frenzy, chasing that elusive peak with single-minded determination. The world beyond ceases to exist; there is only this moment, this need, this all-consuming desire.

Breaths come in ragged gasps and are punctuated by moans and whispered pleas. “More,” you beg; “please,” you exclaim, though you're not sure how he could possibly get any closer, any deeper within you.

You feel his hand slide beneath you, and you lift your hips to greet him. Your throbbing clit welcomes his expert touch as he begins to unravel you as easily as he picks locks. He rubs circles around the bud, gently, in stark contrast to his wild rutting - indicative of the tiniest threads of self-restraint which remain within him, spared only to bring you to your peak. But gods, in the heat of the moment, you are especially sensitive, and his touch quickly brings forth rippling waves of sensation which threaten to overwhelm you. Your body twitches of its own accord and you know your climax fast approaches.

Your own voice surprises you, high and desperate. Soft whimpers escape your lips, growing in intensity and frequency as the tension builds.

Behind you, Astarion's sounds are a primal counterpoint to your own. His usual smooth tones are roughened by desire, a gravelly undertone that sends shivers down your spine. Low growls rumble from his chest - they speak of a hunger barely contained.

As you both near the edge, your voices mingle and intertwine. The sounds blur together - gasps and moans, growls and whimpers. The volume rises, unchecked and unashamed. You care not who hears you now.

It is you who first reaches the point of no return. A cry escapes your lips, raw and primal. Your body quakes, and pleasure crashes over you, a torrent of sensation that drenches every nerve ending. You're swept away in the deluge, currents of bliss pulling you under, spinning you in their depths.

His release soon follows and, although you don't see him, you feel the intensity in the air, in his increasingly erratic pounding, in his breaths. A growl rumbles from deep in his chest, vibrating through your bodies like rolling thunder. His grip on you tightens, fingers digging into your flesh as he releases into you, claiming you as part of his tempest.

He collapses against your back. His weight is solid and grounding like the calm after the storm. He pants slightly, aftershocks rippling through you both like distant thunder.

Slowly, the world comes back into focus.

Astarion's weight shifts behind you as his arm drapes lazily over your wrist. You feel his cool lips brush against your ear, and he nips it gently.

“If I didn’t know any better,” he muses, “I would say you enjoy being punished.”

You can’t help but laugh, the sound still slightly breathless. “If that’s what I get for misbehaving, I might have to do it more often.”

"Careful what you wish for, darling," he murmurs, and you can hear the smirk in his voice. "I have a whole arsenal of 'punishments' at my disposal. This was merely a taste."

“Is that a promise or a threat?”

“Why not both?” he replies, his tone rich with suggestion. “I do so enjoy keeping you on your toes.”

As he rises to his feet and helps you to yours, he kisses you, his gentleness a stark contrast from your earlier activities. Where there was an inferno, now there is now the warming comfort of the hearth. Where there was urgency, now there is patience. Eventually, you find yourselves settled once more, cocooned in the soft comfort of the bed. The lingering scent of your encounter mingles with the fresh smell of clean linens, a heady reminder of the night's activities.

“Alright?” Astarion’s voice is soft.

You nod, words unnecessary in this moment.

As you nestle closer to him, a contented sigh escapes your lips. Being bad certainly has its thrills. But these moments, wrapped in Astarion’s arms - these are treasures in their own right. The mischievous spark in you knows you'll seek out more opportunities to 'misbehave', but for now, you revel in this gentle aftermath, every bit as intoxicating as the storm that preceded it.

No Pressure Tags: @silverfangmarks @roguishcat @sparrowbard @chonkercatto

Masterlist can be found here.

[milksockets]

why scan?

scanning is something i've done for probably about 12 years now (i'm ancient, for this site), with varying degrees of regularity, intensity, etc. it has ratcheted up since the dawn of 2023, though, which begs the question: why? why put so much time into what could not-wrongly be considered a passive activity, hunched over a piece of clunky machinery with the express purpose of preserving others' creations? the answers are several, and fascinating (not really).

i am a [sober] drug addict. anything i pursue, consume, create--more often than not--ends up taking on addictive qualities. i'll eat the same specific food item for a month, then never want to see, let alone taste it, again. i'll listen to one song on repeat for days until i'd rather hear nails on a chalkboard than have it shuffle on and assault my ears. one of the reasons that my scanning has increased in volume recently is that i acquired library cards to the 3 nyc library systems: nypl, brooklyn, and queens. as soon as i was able to, i pillaged + plundered those fine centers of learning, leaving any given library with as many hefty scan-worthy books as i could [barely] carry. here, finally, was a *free* way of obtaining more + more + more visual media to consume.

2023 saw me get my first legal, full-time job. as such, my adjusting to that hellish reality resulted in a steep decline in my own personal creative output. collaging, writing, and rapping all fell to the wayside as i slowly acclimated to a life of work that almost everyone else my age has known for over a decade is generally unbearable + detrimental to the maintenance of outside pursuits. in times of famine within my own artistic harvest, scanning, archiving, and sharing others' work is a means of feeling as though i am still contributing to the global oeuvre.

there’s an element of losing my mental self in a series of physical motions that becomes almost automatic after some time. “zoning out” is not something endemic to my daily life; if anything, i’m almost always too zoned in. relief is necessary.  especially considering the shitshow this past year has been in terms of my personal life.

i am a product of capitalism’s cultivating a craving for constant consumption. 

it seems that visual content is only going to continue to get more + more uninspired. has everything been done? did social media ruin it all? in any case, i feel a need to document the past. to a degree, it’s my version of doomsday prepping. (god forbid books go extinct altogether.) 

i have always gravitated towards solitary activities. this topic could be a thesis in its own right.

i thrive on external validation. this reliance is something i’ve improved upon over the past several years, but it hasn’t been altogether extinguished. even though the materials i scan are not of my own creation, i nevertheless feel a vague pride in showcasing them. occasional appreciation thereof satisfies this fixation on others’ attention, albeit in a diluted form. 

i am fortunate to live in a city bursting to the gills with cultural institutions. i am also lucky enough to have some disposable income that can be directed toward fulfilling my ravenous desire for visual media. 

((i keep getting messages about the specifics of my scanner + "process":

i have a cheap ass hp envy 6055e and i just use the software it comes with.

there's nothing special or fancy happening here, and i could definitely invest in a better and/or a large format scanner, etc. but i really just don't care enough and it's not like i'm getting paid for this lmao))

[gnawing-suspicion]

So I’ve had two days now to collect my thoughts and I’ll say this

I think the Agatha All Along finale was incredible for a Marvel show. Every MCU series falls victim to the Flat Ending - the penultimate one is always brilliant (7 and 8 of AAA were amazing), and then they get bogged down by executive notes and having to tie into the larger Marvel Universe. Think of Kang at the end of Loki S1, monologuing all over the show/dynamic we were actually there to see tie up.

If we set aside the Wiccan Needs To Be In Movies of it all, my only major issue was the missing backstory for Agatha and Rio. Not just because I love them, but because we needed even one scene of why their connection was so strong. How did Death discover her? It couldn’t have been at Nicky’s birth - they were already “my love”-ing each other. Did she watch Agatha for years, observing the deaths she caused, eventually revealing herself? Did she appear after Agatha drained her coven?

My guess is there was probably a plan for this that got nixed or lost to notes. Marvel is notorious for patting themselves on the back publicly for queer/diverse representation while doing everything they can to tamp it down behind closed doors. I’m guessing the AAA team gave us everything they could and I salute them for it. The leap from America Chavez’ blink-and-you-miss-it pride pin to Kathryn Hahn making out with Aubrey Plaza onscreen amidst an entirely, canonically queer cast is astronomical.

The whole show was so well-thought out and written that I just don’t buy leaving Agatha and Rio’s history as a blurry question mark on purpose. Story-wise, we needed the Why. Not just why she hates Death (we got this) but why she loved her. The betrayal means a lot less when we have no reason to root for them.

This isn’t me saying “bad job, show” because it’s a miracle it exists at all and it gave us SO much and I love it!! Best MCU show to date, and incredibly groundbreaking! I’m excited to rewatch it given the twist at the end. I just wish we’d had a little more of that.

And so off I go to my keyboard to log into the archive of our own and fill in the gaps!!