#now as for why I chose this specific setting
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ËËË that first night (her POV) ËËË
"There's a theory that says you meet everyone in your life twiceâonce as strangers, and once when it matters. That first night at 'Pulse', with vodka cranberry on your tongue and his eyes burning into yours, was supposed to be the stranger part. No one warns you that six months later, he'll be standing in your new apartment's doorway, looking at you like he's seen a ghost. But thatâs a problem for Future you."
â・°⊠story details âŠÂ°ď˝Ąâ
collection: Before It All (FMU)
wordcount: 15k
pairing: fmu!jungkook x fmu!yn (cocky!jkxbratty!reader)
rating: explicit, 18+
playlist: spotify
content: new york city setting, university setting, strangers to roommates (eventually), nightclub setting, hookup, one night stand, drunk hookup (buzzed/tipsy but consensual), explicit sexual content, oral sex (cunnilingus), protected penetrative sex, multiple orgasms, wall sex, rough sex, choking/breath play (light), hair pulling, marking/hickeys, size kink, manhandling, dirty talk, praise kink, bickering during sex, snarky banter, grinding, multiple positions, slight pain kink, slight degradation kink, praise kink if you squint, sexual tension, sexual chemistry, mild exhibitionism (making out in uber/club), slight voyeurism (being watched in club), mild dubious condom practices (that one scene), alcohol consumption, bite kink, aftercare (mild), spooning, scent kink, vanilla scented products, enemies to lovers (eventual), size difference (height), strength kink.
⧠author's note â§
Hi my little demons! (ď˝â´)Ψ Welcome to the prequel that started this absolute dumpster fire - AKA the night our emotionally constipated idiots first met.
Let's talk about how THIS happened, because honestly? I've rewritten this scene approximately 47 times (not exaggerating, my Google docs are a MESS). I initially wasn't even going to write it, but then my 3AM brain, fueled by what was probably my 8th espresso, decided we NEEDED to see these two disasters collide for the first time. And boy, did they collide. ( ̄Ď ̄;)
First things first: This is pure, unadulterated filth. I literally had to take several walks around my apartment complex while writing this because these two WOULD NOT BEHAVE. Like, I was trying to be somewhat respectable here, but they said "NoâĽď¸" and chose violence. So you know what? I just let them do their thing and documented it like the professional disaster that I am.
Now, let's talk about our girl for a second. Writing her at this specific point in her life was FASCINATING because you can really see all the pieces that made her who she isâthe family pressure, the small-town suffocation, the desperate need for control while simultaneously wanting to lose it completely... She's such a beautifully complex mess and I love her for it. (Don't worry, she'll grow. Eventually. Maybe. We'll see.)
And Jungkook... Oh boy. There's SO MUCH about him that I've deliberately sprinkled throughout this chapter. Little details, subtle hints, tiny breadcrumbs that'll make sense later. I'm actually really proud of how many easter eggs I managed to hide in here - come back after future chapters and tell me if you caught them! (Though let's be real, you're probably not here for the literary analysis, you thirsty gremlins.)
The biggest challenge was honestly Emma. Like, how do you get the world's most protective best friend to leave her bestie alone in a club? I spent WEEKS trying to make this work in a way that felt authentic to her character. The sister crisis was my 3AM solution and I'm actually pretty proud of how it turned out. Realistic character motivation is my kink, okay? (ďźžâ˝ďźž)
Speaking of realismâthat's literally why this fic exists. I got so frustrated with how many unrealistic elements I kept seeing in stories that I went "Fine, I'll do it myself" and here we are, 35 pages of smut later???? Huh. You're welcome????
Side note: I have this whole thing narrated in audio (female voice only, because no male voice matches Jungkookâs, my beloved ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ) but Tumblr said "file too big bestie" so... might drop it on ko-fi if enough people are interested. Let me know in the comments! Speaking of commentsâPLEASE tell me your theories about all the little hints I've dropped about Jungkook's past. I'm dying to see what you guys pick up on! (âĎâ)ďž
Until next time, you disaster pandas! (ďžâăŽâ)ďž*:シďžâ§
Kiki. đ
P.S. Any typos are between you and god because I've stared at this document for so long the words have lost all meaning.âââââââââââ���ââââ
â・°⊠read more âŠÂ°ď˝Ąâ
main story: fuck me up
read on ao3
read on wattpad
So here's the thing about nightclubs: you either love them or you hate them.
You? You're more of a 'hate them' kinda girl. The sweat, the noise, the people... not your scene. Not usually, anyway.
But usual went out the window the second Emma suggested this little adventure. Sweet, reliable Emma who you lost touch with after high school but who immediately became your secret accomplice when you reached out about transferring to NYU. Who's been your underground informant for months nowâsneaking you tips about the English department, virtually walking you through the campus layout via late-night FaceTime sessions, and helping you plot out the perfect transfer application your parents know nothing about.
Emma, who didn't even blink when you showed up at her door with a weekend bag and a story for your parents about "visiting your responsible friend in the city." (They bought it immediately because, well, it's Emma. Their golden standard of What A Good Influence Should Be.) You'd spent the whole day doing exactly what you came forâtouring NYU's campus, sitting in on a couple of English classes Emma snuck you into, and gathering all the transfer information you could get your hands on.
"You can't just transfer here and not know what the nightlife is like," she'd insisted, already rummaging through her closet for something that wasn't your campus tour outfit. "That's like... buying a car without test driving it."
Which, okay, terrible analogy, but you get her point. You've spent months planning this transferâgoing over NYU's transfer requirements, crafting the perfect escape from your suffocating small-town university, calculating exactly how to tell your parents once it's too late for them to stop you. The campus visit was supposed to be just thatâvisiting your responsible friend Emma for a weekend while secretly checking out NYU.
Emma, bless her overprotective heart, had taken one look at your face after that final tourâthat specific blend of desperate hope and terrified excitementâand decided you needed to see the whole picture. "The real college experience," as she put it, already pulling out her phone to text her club promoter friend.
"Location sharing on?" she'd asked for the fifth time before you left her apartment, double-checking your phone settings like some kind of Gen-Z mother hen. As if you hadnât spent the last three months planning this transfer with military-grade precision.
"Yes, mom," you'd rolled your eyes, but something warm had settled in your chest at her fussing. It's... nice, having someone in on the secret. Someone who gets it.
"Emergency contact updated to my number?"
"Check."
"Spare key to my apartment?"
"Emma, I swear to godâ"
"Just checking!" She'd grinned, already knowing she was being ridiculous but doing it anyway. "One more thing..."
And that's how you ended up with a literal tracking app on your phone, an emergency SOS button setup, and Emma's solemn promise to "never leave your side, scout's honor." (She was never actually a scout, but whatever.)
Parents really think you're just visiting your studious, sensible friend Emma for a nice, quiet weekend in the city. Having some wholesome catching-up time. Maybe seeing some museums.
Ha. If only they knew you're actually scouting out your future escape route.
If only you knew.
Because let's be real, this isn't exactly in your wheelhouse. But Emma's right there, keeping her scout's honor promise, bouncing between the bar and dance floor like some kind of safety-conscious terror. And maybe it's the way she keeps checking in with subtle thumbs-up signals, or maybe it's just knowing someone's actually got your back in this whole secret college plan thing, but you're... kind of having fun?
Which is how you find yourself here, in this pulsing, thrumming mass of bodies and sound. 'Pulse', the club's called. Fitting, considering how you can feel the bass thumping in your veins, the strobe flashing like lightning in your skull. It's... a lot. But not in a bad way?
Yeah, definitely not bad, you decide as you scan the room. Leather booths, gleaming bar top, and a dance floor packed with the kind of gorgeous twenty-somethings that make you feel simultaneously inadequate and oddly triumphant. Like 'yeah, I might not be that, but at least I'm here.'
And honestly, it's pretty nice here. Clean, classy even. Good lighting over the bar, vigilant security, and Emma vouches for the place. She's your safety net tonight, because God knows you'd never try this solo. But Emma... Emma knows everyone. Gets you both in with a wink and a wave, like some kind of VIP.
The girl's got pull and she's not afraid to use it. You envy that a bit, that confidence. Wish you could borrow just a dash of it, to fortify your nerves as you perch on this barstool, spine too straight and fingers too tight around your glass. But it's fine, it's good, you're good. Thatâs what you tell yourself, anywaysâeven if itâs not entirely the truth.
It's just one night. One chance. One small rebellion before you go back home and drown yourself in expectations and demands. Hardly even counts as rebellion, really, in the grand scheme. Not like you're planning on getting blackout drunk and ending up in jail or anything. Just⌠dipping your toe. Sampling the other side. Just for a night.
What's the worst that could happen?
Famous last words. Or in this case, famous last thought, as you take a too-big sip of your drink and nearly choke on watery vodka cranberry. Good thing no one's paying attention.
Well, except for one guy, apparently. And he's...
Oh. Oh damn.
He's the kind of gorgeous that makes you almost forget how to swallow, even as you scoff internally. Guys who look like that? They're usually bad news. Cringe edgy boys. Like the ones you see on TikTok. The jaw, the eyes, the whole brooding bad-boy package. Not your type. Not even a little.
But heâs hot. Truth be told.
And he's watching you. Not in a creepy way, but⌠intense. Interested. And wow, okay, maybe there's something to be said for the whole 'still waters' vibe he's giving off, because that gaze is doing things to you. Things you're not entirely sure you're ready for.
But then again... isn't that the whole point? To try something new? To be someone new, just for a night? The girl who holds the stare of a beautiful stranger. The girl who lets the charge build, heart kicking up and skin tingling. The girl whoâ
"Shit, shit, shit." Emma's suddenly at your elbow, phone clutched to her chest, face twisted with genuine distress. "My sister just called. She's having some kind of breakdown aboutâgod, I don't even know, her boyfriend? Something about him showing up at her dorm? She's hysterical, I can barely understand herâ"
You watch Emma's face cycle through about twelve different emotions in three seconds. She keeps glancing between you and her phone, clearly torn. "I should go check on her. But I can't just leave you here alone. Fuck. Maybe we should bothâ"
"Em, I'm fine," you try to reassure her, even as your stomach sinks a little. Great. Just when things were getting interesting with dark eyes over there. "I can just get an Uberâ"
"No, no, wait." Emma's scanning the club like she's looking for something specific. Her face lights up suddenly as she spots someone by the weights machine in the club's weird gym corner. Because apparently some clubs have those now. "Oh thank godâhey!!"
She waves frantically at some guy who's been doing bicep curls between taking selfies for his Instagram story. You vaguely recognize him from Emma's study groupâone of those guys who probably knows the protein content of everything in his lunch and considers gym updates a legitimate form of social interaction.
"Perfect timing," Emma says as he approaches, already dabbing his face with a workout towel. She's rapid-fire texting, probably her sister. "You're still doing that safe walk program thing for the student union, right? The volunteer thing they made you do after that frat party incident?"
"Yeah bro, community service hours almost done," he confirms, then looks confused as Emma practically shoves her phone in his face, showing him what you assume is your location-sharing setup.
"Great. This is my best friend from high school. She's got location sharing on with me, SOS button setup, fully charged phone." Emma's talking so fast she's almost tripping over her words. "I have to go deal with my sister but I'll be back in an hour tops. Could you just... keep an eye out? Make sure no creeps bother her?"
Your face heats. "Emma, seriouslyâ"
"I know, I know, you can handle yourself," Emma cuts you off, already shouldering her bag. "But humor me? Heâs actually great at this. Always walks girls home after study group. Total golden retriever energy."
You catch the way her eyes flick meaningfully toward where dark eyes is still watching from across the room. Like she's trying to say 'here's your safe but slightly dim option if you want it, but...'
Your phone buzzes with an incoming wall of texts:
Emma: đ'đ đđ đđđđđ˘!!! đ đđđđ đ đđđđđđđđ đđ đđđđ˘ đ đđđ đ˘đđ Emma: đđđ đ đđ đđđ đ'đđ đđ đđđđ đđ đđ đđđđ đđđđ Emma: đđ'đ đđđđđđđđđ˘ đđđ đđđđđđ đđ˘đ đđđ đđđđ, đđđđđ đđđđđ˘ Emma: đđđ đđ đ˘đđ đ đđđ đđ đđĄđđđđđ đđđđđ đđđđđđđ... đ Emma: (đđđđ đđđđ đ˘đđđ đđđđđđđđ đđđđđđđ đđ & đđđĄđ đđ đđ đ˘đđ đđđđđ!!!)
"Hey there. Emma had to run, but she didn't want to leave you alone. Asked me to keep you company. That okay?"
The voice cuts through your spiral, and you blink up at the interloper. Brent? Brad? Some monosyllabic gym bro who's friends with Emma and apparently your new babysitter.
Great.
You paste on a smile, even as your attention flickers back to him. Dark eyes, dark hair, and a mouth that could probably do very interesting things, you bet your money on it. But no. Donât get distracted. Eyes on Brett. He's safe, he's known. Boring as a beige wall, but that's better. Smarter.
"Yeah, of course," you say brightly. Too brightly. Even you can hear the false note, and you cringe. "Thanks for keeping me company."
Because that's why you're here. For safety, for company, for sampling the world, but through a protective barrier. Not for tall, dark, and dangerously appealing over there. Definitely not for him.
Even if you kinda wish it was.
"You're pretty."
And like... okay? Thanks? But also, ugh. It's not that you're not flatteredâyou are, in that vaguely uncomfortable way that makes you want to simultaneously preen and roll your eyes into next week. Because yeah, duh, you know. You own mirrors. You're aware of your assets, thank you very much. But there's something so wonderfully, terribly basic about guys who lead with that.
Still. You give him another once-over, because fair's fair and also because like... why not? He's not bad. Actually pretty decent, if you're being honest (and you are, because what's the point of lying to yourself?). Broad shoulders, nice arms, that whole gym rat aesthetic that apparently some girls go crazy for.
Not that you're necessarily one of those girls. You've always preferred a more... balanced build. Something between "I can bench press you" and "I've never seen the inside of a gym." Like, yeah, muscles are nice and all, but you want to be able to actually cuddle without feeling like you're laying on a marble statue. Give you some softer edges any day. Something to sink into, you know?
But beggars can't be choosers and honestly? You're kind of tired of being a beggar. Or, well, not a beggar exactly, but definitely... selective. Too selective, maybe. Conservative. Careful. All those words that really mean "scared to actually live a little."
Not tonight though. Tonight you're in New York fucking City, three hundred miles from your parents' suffocating expectations and that small-town mindset that makes you want to scream into your pillow sometimes. Tonight you could be anyone.
So when you say, "Thank you, you're not bad yourself," it comes out smoother than expected. Almost flirty. And his laugh? Not terrible. Kind of nice actually, even if it doesn't quite reach his eyes. They're nice eyes tooâwarm brown, honest. Safe.
"Would you like to dance?"
The question hangs there, and you consider it. Really consider it. Because thisâthis whole thingâit's what you came for, isn't it? To try something new. To be someone new. Someone who says yes to dancing with attractive strangers in clubs that pulse with bass-heavy Usher remixes.
"You feeling confident?" you throw back, and okay, maybe that was a little sharp, a little too much of your usual self bleeding through. But he just smiles (no dimples, and why does that matter? Since when do you care about dimples?), and holds out his hand.
His fingers are cold when they wrap around yours. It's... not great. You've always hated cold hands, which is ironic considering yours are perpetually freezing. But you let him lead you onto the dance floor anyway, because what the hell. What the actual hell. You're here, you're young, you're... actually kind of buzzed now that you think about it. That vodka cran hitting different after all.
His hands hover at your hips, eyes asking permission, and you give him a look that you hope translates to "yes, but don't get crazy about it." Must work, because his palms settle, grip light but present. You rest your hands on his shoulders (nice shoulders, you'll give him that), and try to find the rhythm.
It's not terrible. Not amazing either, but definitely not terrible. He can move, keeps a decent beat, doesn't try to grind up on you like some horny teenager. His hands stay respectfully placed, thumbs making small circles that should probably feel more exciting than they do.
Everything about this should feel more exciting than it does.
Maybe you need another drink. Maybe you need to stop overthinking every little thing and just... be. Maybe...
Maybe that's when it happens. Your eyes drift up, over his shoulder, like they're being pulled by some invisible thread. Like something in you just knows where to look. And there he is.
Dark eyes locked on yours, expression unreadable in the strobing lights.
One second. Two. Three.
An eternity compressed into the space between heartbeats. Your skin prickles, heat crawling up your spine that has nothing to do with the crowded dance floor or the alcohol in your system. The weight of his stare is palpable, laden with something unnamed but acutely felt. Something that turns your mouth to the Sahara and your pulse into a kickdrum.
Usher croons about falling in love while Pitbull drops his signature "dale" in the background, and isn't that just fucking hilarious? Because thisâthis moment, this look, this strangerâthis isn't about love. This is about want. Raw and simple and completely uncomplicated by things like names or histories or futures.
This is about the way his jaw clenches slightly as he watches you dance with someone else. About how his fingers drum against his glass in perfect time with the beat. About the little scar on his cheek that catches the light when he tilts his head, studying you like you're a puzzle he wants to take apart piece by piece.
Your dance partner's hands feel colder by the second.
It's not that his hands are bad, exactly. They're... nice hands. Big hands. The kind that wrap around your hips like they were made to be there, fingers long enough to span the distance between hipbone and hipbone. And yeah, okay, you have a thing for hands. Who doesn't? It's practically universal at this pointâlike liking bread or hating people who talk during movies. Just basic human nature.
But something's... off.
Your brain is doing that thing. That stupid, annoying, overthinking thing where it won't shut up long enough to let you enjoy anything. And god, you hate this. Hate how your mind rebels against perfectly good situations, like it's allergic to straightforward pleasure or something. Because objectively? This should be working. Hot guy, good music, decent amount of alcohol in your system. Your body's definitely on boardâyou can feel the low simmer of attraction, the way your skin warms under his touch. The basic chemistry is there.
But your mind? Your mind's like that one friend who shows up to parties just to list off everything that could possibly go wrong. His hands are cold. His laugh doesn't reach his eyes. No dimples. The way he said "pretty" like he was checking off a box on some "How to Pick Up Girls" checklist.
You sigh, already stepping back. Watch the confusion flicker across his face, quickly masked by what you're sure he thinks is an understanding smile.
"Everything alright?"
And like... no? Yes? Maybe? How do you even answer that when you're not sure what's wrong in the first place? When you're standing here on a dance floor that's vibrating with Usher's voice while your brain short-circuits over the temperature of some guy's hands?
"Yeah, I'm just..." You pause, teeth catching your bottom lip as you reconsider. Fuck it. Might as well go with the classics. "The vodka. Has me feeling buzzy, I think I'm not feeling too good."
It's a cop-out and you know it. But it's also an easy out, the kind that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings or make things weird. Because that's what you do, isn't it? Keep things smooth. Keep things nice. Even when you're lying through your teeth to some guy whose name you can't quite remember.
"Hey, that's okay." His smile stays steady, concerned even. "No hard feelings. You need a ride home?"
And thatâthat right thereâthat's actually kind of sweet. In another universe, maybe that offer would seal the deal. Nice guy, worried about your safety, probably has a stable job and calls his mother on Sundays. But in this universe? In this universe, your eyes are already drifting over his shoulder, drawn like a compass needle to true north.
You press your lips together, scanning the crowd like you're actually looking for someone. Like you havenât known exactly where he is this whole time, havenât felt his eyes raking you up and down non-stop.
"Actually I know someone just across the way, so honestly, zero worries."
The shock on his face would be comical if it werenât so irksome. "You positive? Werenât you visiting from out of town? Emma mentioned you were just in for the weekend."
And okay, what the actual fuck? Why does he need your whole life story? Yeah, sure, he's probably just being nice. Probably just wants to make sure you're not about to wander off and get murdered or something. But still. The irritation rises in your throat like bile, sharp and inexplicable.
"Doesn't mean I don't know anybody in New York," you say, and wow, okay, that came out with more edge than intended. Quick, fix it, smooth it over. You paste on a tight smile, the kind that probably looks more like a grimace but hey, at least you're trying. "See you around, Brent."
You're already moving as you say it, heels clicking against the floor with purpose. You think you hear him call after youâsomething about his name being Peter?âbut you're beyond caring. Beyond thinking about cold hands and careful smiles and all the safe choices you should be making.
Because your feet know where they're going, even if your brain is screaming about bad decisions. Even if every rational part of you is throwing up warning signs and red flags. Even ifâor maybe becauseâyou can feel his eyes following your every move, heat spiraling up your spine with each step closer.
The bass drops, and your heart kicks up to match it.
Dale, indeed.
You don't need to look at him to know he's watching. You can tell. Can perceive it. Itâs like standing too close to a bonfire. The kind of heat that makes you want to step closer even as your survival instincts scream danger, danger, danger.
And this? This is definitely dangerous.
You don't do this. Like, ever. There's a whole routine to these things, right? Guy sees girl, guy approaches girl, girl decides if she wants to deal with whatever fumbling attempt at flirtation follows. That's just... how it works. How it's always worked. Because guys? They're usually terrible at being approached. Their fragile little egos can't handle a girl making the first move. Plus, most of them aren't worth the effort anyway.
But.
But your feet are already moving. But your heart is already racing. But something about the way he's been watching you, like he could devour you whole and still be hungryâit makes you reckless. Makes you stupid. Makes you brave.
"Dance with me."
It comes out more command than question, your voice steadier than it has any right to be. He looks up at you from his seat, and fuck. Just... fuck. Because the way he tilts his head? The slow, deliberate motion of it? That should not be as hot as it is. That should be illegal in at least three states.
Then he smiles. Just one side of his mouth lifting, lazy and confident andâoh god. A dimple. One perfect little dimple that makes something in your chest squeeze tight.
"That's bold."
His voice is lower than you expected. Rougher. Like whiskey over gravel, and you want to drink it down until you're drunk on it. Want to find out what other sounds you can pull from that throat.
"You've been looking at me for 10 minutes." The words fall from your lips before you can stop them, sharp and challenging. "You gonna come dance or not?"
He chucklesâactually chuckles, who even does that?âand holy shit, there's another one. Two dimples. Two perfect little dents in his cheeks that make heat pool low in your belly, thick and sweet like honey. Your fingers twitch, aching to touch them, to press thumbs to those tiny curves and feel him beam against your flesh.
When he stands, it's one fluid motion that makes it feel like someone replaced your esophagus with a cracked porcelain vase. Because he's tall. Not incredibly, super tall. But yes the kind of tall that means you'd have to stretch up on your toes to reach his mouth, that means his hands could probably span your whole waist, that meansâ
No. Nope. Not going there. Not yet anyway.
He follows you onto the dance floor, and you can feel the energy shift. Like the air itself is charging up, preparing itself for both of you. His friendâsome guy with killer dance moves who's been holding down a corner of the floor all nightâcatches his eye and shoots him a look. Something passes between them, quick and meaningful, before Mystery Man's attention is back on you. All on you.
And yeah.
Yeah, this is happening.
This is definitely happening.
The bass pounds through your marrow as Usher's voice continues suffusing the air, talking about DJs and falling in love, and honestly. At this point youâre barely listening to the music itself, too focused on finding a more secluded spot.
Your pulse picks up speed. Canât help it, really. Because this? This is definitely going to be worth breaking all your rules for.
You lead him to some darker corner of the clubâmight be by a column, might be an alcove, who fucking knows because your brain's too busy short-circuiting to care about architectural details right now. All you know is it's slightly away from the main crush of bodies, slightly more private, slightly more...
Oh.
His hands find your hips the second you turn to face him. No hesitation. No silent question. No careful hovering or polite uncertainty like what's-his-name earlier. Just warm, sure palms sliding over the curve of your hips like they belong there, like he's claiming territory, andâ
And you should be annoyed. You should be fucking livid. Because excuse you? The audacity of this man to just assume he can touch you without so much as a "may I?" Some feminist you are, getting weak in the knees over this caveman behavior while poor Brett (Blake? Whatever) at least had the decency to ask permission with those puppy dog eyes of his.
But your brain? Your traitorous, horny, absolutely useless brain? It's sending signals straight between your legs because apparently that's what does it for you now. The confidence. The heat of his handsâand god, they're so warm, burning through the thin fabric of your dress like brands. They're not as broad as the other guy's, but his fingers are longer, elegant almost. Artist's hands, scattered with tiny tattoos that disappear under his sleeve, and that silver ring on his middle finger catching the light as his grip tightens just slightly...
(Middle finger. Not left-hand fourth. So not married then. Good. Last thing you need tonight is adding "homewrecker" to your expanding list of dubious habits.)
Your arms loop around his neck almost on autopilot, and then you're moving. With him. Against him. The bass is a living thing between you, and he matches your rhythm instantly, like your bodies already know the steps to this dance. Like you've done this a hundred times before, in a hundred different lives.
His eyes lock onto yours, heavy-lidded and dark as sin, and every hair on your neck stands at attention. Electricity crackles down your spine, sharp and sweet, as his thumbs press into your hipbones. Just enough pressure to guide you closer, until there's barely room for breath between you.
"Didn't catch your name earlier," he says, voice pitched low enough that you have to lean in to hear him over the music. His breath fans hot against your ear, and you suppress a shiver.
"Didn't throw it," you shoot back, because apparently your mouth is running on autopilot now too. Great. Just great.
But he laughsâa quick, rough sound that you feel more than hearâand his hands flex against your hips. "Feisty. I like that."
"Bet you say that to all the girls who proposition you at clubs."
"Nah." His head dips closer, nose brushing your temple. "Just the ones who stare at me for ten minutes first."
"Excuse you, you were staring at me."
"Maybe we were staring at each other."
And okay, that's... fair actually. But you're not about to admit it. Instead, you roll your eyes, even as your fingers find the soft hair at his nape. "Does this usually work for you? This whole... whatever this is?"
"You tell me." His smile is audible in his voice, and you just know those dimples are making an appearance again. "You're the one who told me to dance."
"Maybe I just felt sorry for you, sitting there all alone."
"Wasn't alone. Had my friend."
"The dancer? Please, he was too busy killing it on the floor to keep you company."
His laugh vibrates through his chest into yours, and when did you get this close? When did your bodies start pressing together with every sway of the music? When did his thigh slip between yours, creating a friction that makes your breath catch?
"You been watching my friend too? Should I be jealous?"
The word sends an unexpected thrill through you, even though his tone is clearly teasing. "Wouldn't you like to know."
"Yeah," he says, and suddenly his voice isn't teasing at all. His grip tightens fractionally, pulling your hips more firmly against his. "Yeah, I would."
Goosebumps ripple across your arms, slow and inevitable, like lava carving its path through stone. His eyes burn into yours again, scorching hot, wild, and consumingâa downpour drowning a raging fire, leaving nothing but aftermath. Whatâs left in their wake is the kind of black that clings. Opaque. Dense. Like ash, settling over a forest stripped to its bare bones.
The sensible part of your brainâthe part that usually keeps you from doing stupid, reckless things with beautiful strangersâis suspiciously quiet. Probably because all your blood is currently occupied elsewhere, namely with the way his hands are starting to trace slow patterns on your hips, the way his breath keeps ghosting over your neck, the way his body moves against yours like he's writing sin in cursive.
And maybe it's the vodka, or maybe it's how he's gazing at you like you're tranquility amidst his chaos, but you hear yourself say, "Buy me a drink first."
His smile is slow, dangerous. "That an order too?"
"Consider it a... suggestion."
"Mm." One hand slides to your lower back, pressing you impossibly closer for just a moment. "I'm starting to like your suggestions."
Your skin feels too tight, too hot, too everything. "Starting to?"
"Give me time." His lips brush your ear as he speaks, and this time you can't suppress the shiver. "Night's still young."
He actually does buy you that drink, which is... something. You're not sure what exactly, but definitely something. The way he guides you to the bar with his hand still on your lower back, fingers splayed wide enough to make you notice the imprint of his warmth? Also something.
"Another vodka cran," you tell the bartender, because hey, if it ain't broke. Then you catch his raised eyebrow and can't help adding, "What? Were you expecting something more sophisticated?"
"Nah." That damn dimple makes another appearance. "Just trying to figure you out."
"Good luck with that."
When he pulls out his wallet to pay, you catch a glimpse of multiple cards fanned out in the leather fold. Credit cards, maybe? Must have money thenâor at least good credit. Not that it matters, because this is a one-time thing. A never-gonna-see-you-again thing. A what-happens-in-New-York stays-in-New-York thing.
Your fingers find the cocktail napkin beneath your glass, absently creating sharp creases with your thumbnail. It's one of those fancy ones with the bar's logo embossed in goldâpretentious, like everything else about this place.
Still. You notice how he pauses, studying one card for a beat too long before selecting it. Like he's making sure of something. Weird, but whatever.
The napkin disappears into your clutch without conscious thought. A habit you'll question later but can't explain now. You're too buzzed to care about his personal finances or your own questionable souvenir-keeping tendencies.
"Whiskey neat," he orders, and you barely contain your snort. Of fucking course he drinks whiskey. Probably thinks he's Don Draper or something.
"Pretentious much?"
"Says the girl drinking what's basically juice with a splash of alcohol."
"At least I'm not trying to prove anything."
His laugh is rough, genuine. "Who says I'm trying to prove anything?"
"Please. Whiskey at a club? That's like wearing a suit to McDonald's."
"Maybe I just like whiskey." He takes a deliberate sip, throat working in a way that absolutely doesn't make your mouth water. "Maybe I like the burn."
There's something in his voice when he says that, something that feeds the banked flame in your belly. His eyes are on you again, alternating between your eyes and your mouth like he can't quite decide where to focus.
"That line score you points often?" you manage to ask, even as your voice betrays you, emerging breathier than intended.
"I wouldn't know." He's definitely closer now. When did that happen? Did he move, or did you? "Is it scoring points now?"
And god help you, but it is. It really fucking is. Maybe it's the alcohol finally hitting your system properly, or maybe it's the way he's looking at you, but you find yourself swaying toward him. Drawn in like a moth to flame, even though you know you're probably going to get burned.
"You're kind of an asshole," you inform him, even as your free hand finds its way to his chest. His very firm chest, holy shit.
"Yeah?" His fingers trace up your spine, feather-light but deliberate. "Seem to like it though."
"Cocky too."
"Haven't heard any complaints."
He's so near now you can smell himâsomething clean and vicious, like a tempest raging on the coast. His breath fans across your lips, whiskey-warm and promising. One of his hands cups the back of your neck, thumb brushing your jaw in a way that makes your skin buzz.
"Anyone ever tell you you talk too much?" you murmur, and that's itâthat's all it takes.
His mouth crashes into yours like a wave breaking against rocks, hot and insistent and absolutely fucking flawless. His lips are softer than you expected but he kisses hard, like he's trying to devour you whole. Like he's been thinking about this as much as you have. The hand on your neck tightens, tilting your head to deepen the angle, and holy fuck.
You've been kissed before. You've been kissed a lot, actually. But this? This is something else entirely. This is lightning in a bottle, this is matches in gasoline, this is every hackneyed poetry metaphor about fire and flame and immolation except it actually makes sense now because your entire body is electric with it.
His tongue swipes across your bottom lip and you open for him without hesitation, vodka cranberry forgotten in your hand. He tastes like alcohol and dewdrops and something else you can't name but instantly crave more of. The noise he makes when you tug his hairâlow and ravenous and almost startledâshoots straight between your legs.
Someone whistles nearbyâprobably his dancer friendâbut you couldn't care less. Not when his other hand is sliding down to your hip, pulling you closer. Not when he's kissing you like he's trying to memorize the shape of your mouth with his tongue. Not when everything in you is screaming more, closer, now.
You're definitely going to hell for this. But with the way he's kissing you?
Might be worth it.
His forehead rests against yours, and you're both breathing like you've run a marathon. Which is... embarrassing, actually. When was the last time a kiss left you this affected? What are you, some freshman at their first house party? Because this is ridiculous. You're ridiculous. Your heart is hammering against your ribs like it's trying to escape, and your lips are tingling, andâ
And fuck it. Fuck everything. You want more.
"Let's take this outside," you say, surprising yourself with how steady your voice sounds considering your internal chaos. Because yes. Outside. Away from the crowd and the music and all these people who aren't him.
"Your house?" The words are barely out of his mouth before you can finish your suggestion, and okay, that's kind of hot. The eagerness. The way his fingers flex against your hip like he's already imagining it.
You can't help the smile that tugs at your lips. At least you're not alone in this desperate teenage hormone bullshit. At least he's just as affected as you are.
But then reality crashes in like a bucket of ice water. Your house? What house? You're crashing at Emma's place andâoh god, Emma would actually murder you. Like, literal homicide. She's already doing you a solid by covering for you with your parents, and bringing back some random (incredibly hot) guy from a club? Yeah, that would definitely void the best-friend contract.
"Yours?" you counter, trying not to sound too hopeful.
He makes this soundâhalf hiss, half groanâthat shouldn't be as sexy as it is. "Can't."
"What, mommy and daddy don't let you?" The snark is automatic, defense mechanism kicking in to mask your disappointment.
"Nah, but my friend might not like it."
"Mine either."
You stare at each other for a moment, eyes darting back and forth like you're both trying to solve the same puzzle. The absurdity of the situation hits you at the same timeâtwo grown adults, hot and bothered in a club, cockblocked by their respective roommate situationsâand suddenly you're both laughing.
His chuckle is deep, rumbling through his chest where you're still pressed against him, and it's... nice. Really nice. The way his eyes crinkle at the corners, the way his dimples flash (and seriously, those things should come with a warning label), the way his thumb absently strokes your hip like he's forgotten he's doing it.
"Well, this is..."
"Stupid?" you offer.
"I was gonna say unfortunate, but yeah. Stupid works too."
You're still close enough to feel his breath on your lips, still wound tight with want, still buzzing from that kiss. And now you're both laughing about it, which should probably kill the mood but somehow doesn't. Somehow makes it better, actually. More real. Less like some fantasy hookup and more like...
Nope. Not going there. This is still just a one-night thing. A one-night thing that's currently being cockblocked by your respective living situations, but still. Just one night.
"So what now?" he asks, and his voice has dropped back into that lower register that you really want to hate. "Because I really want to kiss you again."
"Just kiss?" The words slip out before you can stop them, teasing and suggestive and probably way too candid.
His grip tightens, just marginally. Just enough to make your breath catch. "Definitely not just kiss."
"Fuck," you breathe, because eloquence has left the building. Possibly the state.
"That's the idea, yeah." And how he says itâall gruff edges and sinful vowâmakes embers spark low in your abdomen. "Just need to sort out the logistics."
Which brings you right back to your current predicament. No Emma's place, no his place, and you're pretty sure having sex in the club bathroom is both tacky and probably illegal. But the way he's looking at you, like he really, really wants to wreck youâŚ
"We could..." you start, then pause. Because what? What brilliant solution are you about to offer here? Your practical brain is absolutely useless right now, short-circuited by the lingering taste of whiskey on your tongue and the steady pressure of his hands on your body.
"Could what?" His thumb traces your bottom lip, and your train of thought derails completely.
"I have no idea," you admit, and his laugh is somehow both frustrated and fond.
"This is definitely stupid," he says, but he's still holding you close, still looking at your mouth like he's considering kissing you again anyway, roommate situations be damned.
"So stupid," you agree, already tilting your face up to meet him halfway.
You lick your lips, tasting geosmin and want and really awful decision-making skills.
Fuck it. Fuck everything. Emma can kill you tomorrow.
Your fingers wrap around his wristâgod, his hands are so warmâand you're already moving, already pulling up the Uber app with your free hand. Thank fuck for muscle memory because your brain is absolutely useless right now, too busy cataloging the way his pulse jumps under your fingers, the way he follows without hesitation.
"Where we goin'?" His voice is low and hoarse as he trails behind you, wrist a hostage to your grip.
"To my friend's place," you mutter, trying to type Emma's address without typos.
You: đđđđ, đđđđđđđ đđđđ đđđ
You donât mention youâre not heading home alone. Sheâll find out herself.
The dude, for his part, just hums in response, like he's fine with whatever as long as it means getting somewhere private. Which, fair. You're kind of operating on the same wavelength here.
You make it to the coat check line first, because priorities. Youâre not leaving your jacket behind. And it is moving at a glacial pace, because of course it is. The universe clearly wants to test your self-control by forcing you to stand here, his chest pressed against your back, his breath hot on your neck.
The way his fingers keep "accidentally" brushing your thigh has you seriously considering saying fuck it and just leaving your jacket behind.
"Could just come back for it tomorrow," he murmurs, like he's reading your mind. His lips brush your ear as he speaks, and you barely sigh in response. Bastard knows exactly what he's doing.
"It's January in New York. I'm not getting hypothermia just because you can't keep it in your pants for five minutes."
"Could keep you warm."
And okay, that line should be cringeworthy. That's the kind of shit that would usually make you roll your eyes so hard they'd get stuck. But he has a way with wordsâor maybe itâs just his fucking voiceâand somehow you like it.
"Next," the coat check girl calls, mercifully saving you from having to respond. You practically lunge forward, fumbling with your ticket. Better than letting him feel how that stupid line affected you.
He reaches past you to hand over his own ticket, arm bracketing you against the counter. And really? Really? This is some romance novel bullshit right here. Who does he think he is, Christian Grey? You should be annoyed. You should definitely not be noticing how good he smells, or how the position highlights just how much bigger he is than you, orâ
"Here you go!" The coat check girl's voice is way too cheerful forâyou check your phoneâ3:46 AM. She hands over your coats with a knowing smile that makes your face heat. Great. Just great. Even the coat check girl can tell you're about to make terrible life choices.
He helps you into your jacket because apparently he's decided to be a gentleman now, after spending the last hour making you question your life choices with his mouth. His hands linger on your shoulders just a fraction too long, and you have to bite your lip to keep from making an embarrassing sound.
"Ready?" he asks, voice still pitched low enough to make your skin tingle. You nod, not trusting yourself to speak, and let him guide you toward the exit with his hand on your lower back.
The coat check girl calls out "Have fun!" as you leave, and you seriously consider moving to a different city. Maybe a different country. Somewhere people don't immediately clock your questionable decision-making skills.
The Uber arrives embarrassingly fastâsome higher power must be looking out for horny idiots tonightâand you both slide into the backseat. You start on opposite sides because you're trying to be decent human beings, trying to remember that your poor driver doesn't deserve a free show.
But then he's moving closer.
And closer.
And suddenly his mouth is on yours again, hot and demanding, and okay, yeah, sorry Mr. Uber driver but this is happening. His hand cups your jaw, tilting your head just so, and you're definitely making some kind of noise in the back of your throat but you're beyond caring. Beyond thinking about anything except the way his tongue slides against yours, the way his other hand grips your thigh.
Fifteen minutes. That's all it is from the club to Emma's place. Fifteen minutes that somehow feel like both seconds and eternity, lost in a haze of wandering hands and stolen kisses and trying (failing) to keep things PG-13. You're vaguely aware of streets passing, of turns and stops, of the driver pointedly turning up the radio.
And then your attention shifts. His teeth graze your bottom lip, fingers slowly sliding on your inner thigh. Hisses when your nails find his scalp. Heat. Want. Need. Building higher with each passing minute until you're practically vibrating out of your skin.
By some miracle (or possibly divine intervention), you make it to Emmaâs building. You stumble out of the Uber, giving the driver your most apologetic smile-grimace combo. He just shakes his head, probably adding you to his mental list of "drunk hookups I never want to see again."
But then he's pressing you against the building's front door, mouth hot on your neck, and you really can't bring yourself to care about your Uber rating right now. Not when his hands are everywhere, not when he's making these little sounds against your skin that go straight between your legs.
It takes three tries to get the key in the lockâpartly because it's 4 AM and you're tipsy, mostly because he won't stop kissing you long enough to focus. When you finally get the door open, you nearly fall through it, saved only by his arm around your waist.
"Smooth," he murmurs against your lips, laughing softly.
"Shut up," you breathe back, already pulling him in for another kiss. His back hits the closing door with a thud that's definitely too loud for 4 AM, but you're past caring. Past thinking about anything except the way his hands feel sliding up your sides, the way he tastes, the way he's eating you up with his eyes.
Emma's definitely going to murder you tomorrow. But with the way his fingers are digging into your hips, the way he's kissing you like he's trying to crawl inside your skin?
What-fucking-ever.
He pushes off the door like a man on a mission, and suddenly you're airborneâyour legs wrapping around his waist on pure instinct. And okay, that's hot. The way he lifts you like you weigh nothing, the solid press of his body against yours, the little growl he makes when your hips roll against his.
"Room?" His voice is wrecked already, breath hot against your mouth between kisses that make your head spin.
You gesture vaguely toward Emma's guest room, too busy mapping the muscles of his shoulders to form actual words. He exhales sharply against your lips, already moving. Your jackets become casualties somewhere in the hallway, dropped with fumbling hands and zero grace because yeah, the vodka's definitely hitting now. Everything's warm and hazy and electric, your skin buzzing everywhere he touches.
Then you're falling backward onto the bed, and holy fuck. The way he's looking down at youâlike he's been lost in the desert and you're a fucking oasisâit makes your breath catch in your throat. Makes heat pool low in your belly, makes your thighs press together in anticipation.
His shirt comes off in one fluid motion andâ
Jesus fucking Christ.
You've seen attractive guys before. You've seen gym bros and athletes and the whole spectrum of male bodies. But this? This is like someone took Michelangelo's David and decided to make him real but better. He's all lean muscle and smooth skin, but with just enough softness to make him touchable. Human. Perfect.
And his chestâgod, his chest. It's not the rock-hard wall of muscle you'd expect from someone who looks like that. Instead, there's this ideal balance of firm and soft, creating the most magnificent set of man tiddies you've ever laid eyes on. The kind you could actually cuddle up to without feeling like you're resting on concrete. The kind that would make a flawless pillow afterâ
Your lusty brain stops working as he leans down, pressing his hips deliberately against yours as his mouth finds your neck. His tongue traces patterns on your skin that make you arch up against him, desperate for more contact.
"Fuck," he breathes against your throat, nosing along your pulse point. "You smell so good. Like vanilla and..." He inhales deeply, making your skin erupt in goosebumps. "Like something sweet I wanna taste."
Your hands slide up his back, feeling the play of muscles under warm skin. He's perfectly balanced above you, using just enough of his weight to make you feel deliciously pinned without crushing you. You fucking love it. Donât know why, donât know how. Maybe it's just how attractive he is, or the heat of his mouth on your neck, or the press of his body against yours or the way he keeps making these little sounds like he can't help himself.
He's kissing you again before your vodka-soaked brain can process anything beyond rudimentary want, primal need. It's all heat and tongue and teeth, messy and perfect in the way only drunken hookups can be. One of his hands slides up your neck, fingers spreading across your throat. Not squeezing, just...resting.
It's fucking electric.
Your hands map the expanse of his back, nails dragging lightly in a way that makes him groan into your mouth. He's all smooth skin and sinewy muscle, hot to the touch and absolutely unfair. No one should be allowed to feel this good. To make you feel this good, just by existing.
He drags his mouth down your neck, teeth grazing your artery. Your fingers tangle in his hair, gripping tight enough to make him hiss. Which is hot. Way too hot, because that noise? It immediately spirals straight between your thighs.
And fuck, how he grinds down against you in response. It's obscenely filthy, the perfect pressure in just the right spot to make you want to moan aloud. To be shameless.
"Fuck," he breathes against your skin, and you feel it more than hear it. Feel the heat of his breath, the barely restrained want in the way he's touching you. "You feel so fucking good."
Your hips roll up to meet his in a way that's purely instinctual. Because yeah, he feels good too. Better than good. You feel the maddening length of him grinding against you through his jeans; his hand around your neck andâgod, you want to claw his back, to wrap your legs around his waist and just take.
The hand on your neck flexes just slightly, thumb brushing your jawline and you think you die just a little because hello? You like that. You really, really fucking like that. New kink unlocked, it seems.
"Want you," he murmurs, voice low and rough with arousal. "Want you so fucking bad, you have no idea."
And oh, you do. You really, really do. Because wanting him is all you can think about right now. All you can focus on beyond the thrumming of your heart, the aching throb between your thighs. You want his hands, his mouth, hisâ
"Off," you manage, tugging at his jeans with clumsy fingers. "These need to come off like, yesterday."
His chuckle vibrates through his chest into yours. "So fucking bossy."
But he's already leaning back, already working on his fly as you prop yourself up on your elbows to watch. And Jesus Christ, the way he looks right nowâshirtless and disheveled, dark hair falling into darker eyes, lips red from your kissesâit's unfair. Unreal.
So fucking hot you think you might actually die if he doesn't touch you again in the next ten seconds.
His jeans hit the floor with a soft thud and holy fuckâthe sight of him in just black boxer briefs should be illegal in at least forty-eight states. Like, someone call the police because this? This is absolutely criminal. The way the fabric clings to his thighs, the obvious bulge that makes your mouth waterâ
But then he's on you again, and thinking becomes a foreign concept.
His hands find the hem of your dress, bunching the fabric up with an urgency that makes heat pool between your legs. You arch up to help him, already anticipating the slide of fabric over skin, butâ
Oh.
The second the dress clears your elbows, he presses down. Uses the fabric to pin your arms above your head, effectively trapping you against the mattress. And that's... that's...
Fuck.
His mouth is suddenly on your breast, hot and wet and absolutely perfect. No hesitation, no teasingâjust the wet slide of his tongue over your nipple before he sucks it into his mouth, and holy shit.
Thank god you wore this dress. Thank every fucking deity that you chose the tight red one that doesnât need a bra, because the feeling of his mouth directly on your skin is absolutely devastating.
A moan tears from your throatâembarrassingly loud in the quiet roomâas his teeth graze sensitive flesh. His responding groan vibrates through your chest, sending shivers down your spine. Your back arches instinctively, pressing more firmly into his mouth as his tongue swirls around your peaked nipple.
His free hand finds your throat again, andâ
Oh god.
His fingers spread wide, applying the slightest pressure. Testing. Exploring. Like he's curious about your reaction, about the way he feels your heartbeat flutter faster in response.
You can't help the soft sound that escapes youâsomewhere between a whimper and a moan. His grip tightens fractionally in response, and your cunt clenches around nothing. Because fuck, that shouldn't be as hot as it is. The way he's controlling your breath, the way he's holding you down, the way his mouth is absolutely ruining you one suck at a time...
"Sensitive," he murmurs against your skin, and you can hear the smirk in his voice. Bastard. His thumb strokes along your jugular, feeling the way your breath hitches. "Wonder what other sounds I can get that pretty throat to make."
You'd have a snappy comeback for that. You know you would. But then he's switching to your other breast, teeth scraping just right, and coherent thought becomes a distant memory. All you can focus on is the wet heat of his mouth, the steady pressure of his hand on your throat, the way he's using his other hand to keep you pinned against the bed.
And maybe it's the situation, or maybe it's just him, but you've never been this turned on in your life. Never been this wet, this desperate, this needy. It should be embarrassing reallyâthe way you're practically writhing beneath him, the way every little touch sends electricity sparking through your veins.
But with the way he's groaning against your skin, the way his hips keep grinding against yours like he needs it? Maybe you're not the only one thatâs losing sanity here.
His teeth catch your nipple just as his fingers flex against your throat, and the combination pulls a sound from you that you didnât even know you could make. High and breathy and absolutely wrecked.
"Fuck," he breathes, hot against your wet skin. "The sounds you make..."
His thumb brushes over your throat again, slower this time, before gliding up. Along the underside of your jaw. Pausing at your bottom lip. He applies the slightest pressure, watching as your mouth falls open on instinct. You're not sure whether you breathe or whimper, but it makes his gaze go impossibly darker, makes his hips roll against yours in response.
And then his thumb is there, pressing against your tongue, andâgoddamn himâyou're sucking without a second thought. The groan he lets out is a shattered thing, low and guttural, as though he's just as wrecked as you.
For three glorious seconds, he just... freezes. Like his brain's temporarily offline, like you've actually managed to short-circuit whatever smooth operator routine he had going.
And okay, maybe that gives you enough time to yank the dress out the rest of the way, tossing it off your bent elbows in a way that you hope was sexier than it felt. He doesnât seem to noticeâtoo busy looking at you like he's forgotten how he got here. Or how to breathe.
Either way, it's a little distracting.
But then he's moving, yanking his hand back like you've scorched him. And before you can even process the loss, he's sliding down your body, trailing open-mouthed kisses that make your skin come alive.
Your tipsy brain tries to catch up with what's unfoldingâmanages to register the flex of his shoulders, the heat of his mouth marking a path down your stomach, the way his hands are suddenly gripping your thighs andâ
Oh.
Oh fuck.
He pulls you to the edge of the bed like you weigh nothing, kneeling between your spread legs like he belongs there. And how he looks up at you through his lashes, mouth hovering just inches from where you're absolutely drenched through your panties...
You prop yourself up on your elbows because fuck if you're missing this show. The movement makes your head spin slightlyâreminder that you are definitely not soberâbut the sight of him between your thighs is worth any potential vertigo.
His breath fans hot against your core, and your hips twitch involuntarily. A smirk plays at the corners of his mouth, but before you can call him out on it, he's leaning in. Pressing his open mouth against you through the thin fabric of your underwear, andâ
"Fuck."
The word tears from your throat unbidden because holy shit, this shouldn't feel this good already. It's barely anythingâjust the heat of his mouth, the slight pressure of his tongue through fabricâbut your body's lighting up like a fucking supernova. Like every nerve ending is suddenly dialed to a hundred.
Your fingers find his hair without conscious thought, tangling in the dark strands as he works you through your panties. The grip of his hands on your thighs tightens in response, and fuckâthat's definitely going to leave marks.
And okay, yeah. Maybe you're embarrassingly wet. Maybe you can feel it soaking through the fabric, making everything slick and messy. Maybe you should care about that, about being this affected this quickly.
But you donât. Not really, with the way he's groaning against you like he's dying for it. Like he can't get enough. Yeah, dignity can take a backseat.
Besides, all thoughts of pride or shame fly right out the window when he finally, finally hooks his fingers under the waistband of your panties. Your hips lift automatically, helping him slide them down your legs. They catch on your heels because of course you're still wearing your fuck-me pumps, but he doesn't seem to mind. Just lets the fabric dangle from one ankle as he dives back in, andâ
"Holy shit."
His tongue drags up your slit in one long, deliberate stroke, and your brain temporarily stops working. Like, full system shutdown. Windows XP error sound and everything. Because fuckâthat shouldn't feel as mindbogglingly good as it does.
Then he flicks your clit with the tip of his tongue and you make this absolutely mortifying noiseâsome choked little "guh" that would humiliate you if you were sober enough to care. His lip ring adds this extra edge of sensation that makes your thighs quake, cool metal a sharp contrast to the heat of his mouth.
He makes this sound against youâsomething between a hum and a growl (and okay, yeah, maybe 'growl' isn't the right word because what are you, fucking animals? But you're drunk and getting your pussy eaten properly for the first time in forever, so vocabulary can fuck right off). Whatever it is, it vibrates through you in a way that has your hips jerking up, seeking more.
Then he's doing these small, slow circles around your clit. So. Fucking. Slow. Like he wants to drive you crazy, wants you to fucking writhe against him. You try not to just grind up against his face. Because that would be desperate, right? That would beâ
Damn.
The circles suddenly get faster, tighter, more intense. His tongue flicking over your clit with the kind of speed and precision that would put Fast & Furious to shame. And the sounds coming out of your mouth? Yeah, those aren't even words anymore. Just a stream of "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck."
If Emmaâs homeâbecause itâs probably been an hour alreadyâsheâs probably getting one hell of a show through these paper-thin walls. But you know what? She fucking owes you. All those times you covered for her sneaking out to Bobby Martinez's house in high school? Yeah, consider this payback with interest.
He drags his tongue back down, gathering your wetness (and okay, yeah, you're basically flooding at this point but whatever), then slides back up. Adding texture to his movements like some kind of oral sex virtuoso. Because apparently this stranger knows exactly what he's doing with that mouth, and honestly? Good for you. You deserve this. You deserve to have your pussy eaten by someone who treats it like a goddamn art form.
So you lean back, let yourself enjoy it. Let him explore and taste and fuckâthe way he's absolutely feasting on you like you're his last meal. His tongue finds your clit again, and this time he sucks it into his mouth, and the sound that rips from your throat probably violates noise ordinances in several states.
The wet sounds of his mouth on you are absolutely obscene. Like, pornographic-level obscene. All sucking and slurping and Jesus fucking Christ, you should not find that as hot as you do. But with your stiletto digging into his back (when did that happen?) and his hands gripping your thighs hard enough to leave fingerprints...
Yeah. Yeah, definitely hot.
Then his tongue drags down, down, downâand fuck, you can feel every ridge, every texture against your sensitive flesh. He reaches your entrance and just... circles it. Like he's mapping you out. Like heâs thinking about his next move.
Five blessed seconds where you can actually catch your breath. Where your brain starts to come back online andâ
Fuck.
His tongue plunges into you without warning and your hand definitely just yanks out some of his hair but who fucking cares because his nose is nudging your clit while he tongue-fucks you andâandâ
And your brain's offline again. Good talk.
He adjusts his arms, somehow pulling you even closer to his face. As if you weren't already basically smothering him. As if he literally wants to drown in your cunt. And that thought shouldn't be as scorching hot as it is but holy shit.
A moan tears from your throatâloud enough that Emma's probably googling noise complaint laws right now. But you can feel it building, that telltale tightening, that electric tension spreading through your core. Your clit's throbbing in time with your racing pulse andâ
And he doesn't change a thing.
Because this guy? This absolute genius between your legs? He knows better than to pull that amateur hour bullshit where they speed up right when you're close. No, he maintains the exact same rhythm, the exact same pressure that got you here. Like he's done this before. Like he actually pays attention to what works.
(And okay, maybe you shouldn't be thinking about his past experience right now but your brain's kind of shorting out so whatever.)
Your stiletto digs deeper into his shoulderâmight actually be drawing blood at this point but he doesn't seem to care one iota. If anything, he groans against you like he's getting off on it. Like pain turns him on. And that's...that's definitely something to stash away for later.
Or never. Because this is a one-time thing. Right. Focus.
Except focusing is basically impossible when he's eating you out like it's his actual job. When the pressure's building and building andâ
Oh.
Oh fuck.
Your back arches off the bed like you're auditioning for America's Next Top Model: After Dark Edition. The orgasm hits you like a riptide, waves of pleasure so intense your vision actually whites out for a second. Your thighs clamp around his head, heel probably leaving permanent marks on his back, and you're definitely making sounds that would make a porn star blush butâ
But holy shit.
His tongue flicks over your oversensitive clit one last timeâthe absolute bastardâand your whole body jerks as you whimper. Which, okay, definitely earned that one. Because holy fuck.
You slump back against the bed, bones liquified, as he prowls up your body. His hands plant on either side of your face andâwow, okay, up close he's even more unfairly beautiful. All sharp jawline and scorching eyes and lips that are literally glistening with...yeah.
"You taste exactly like you smell," he murmurs, and what kind of weird-ass compliment is that? Like, thanks? Good to know your pussy matches your perfume brand?
Except...it kind of works? Something tingles in your face and no. Absolutely not. You are not getting all swoony just because Hot Stranger is saying vaguely poetic shit during sex. This is just your horny lizard brain going 'hot man say words, neurons go brr.' That's all.
Then his mouth is on your neck andâyeah, okay, thinking is canceled anyway. His hands trace maddening patterns down your stomach, feather-light touches that make your muscles jump. And when he tugs his briefs down, his cock springs free andâ
Oh.
Well then.
Your body apparently didnât get the memo about the standard refractory period because hello, Round Two suddenly seems very appealing. It hasnât even been five minutes since you came but here you are, already clenching around nothing like some kind of sex-starved teenager.
He leans back slightly, reaching for something andâah. His jeans. More specifically, his wallet. From which he produces not one but multiple condoms, and honestly? We love a prepared king. Nothing hotter than a guy who practices safe sex without having to be asked.
(And yes, you're literally evaluating his sexual responsibility while naked and still tingling from one of the best orgasms of your life. Sue you.)
He grabs one condom and tosses the others somewhere on the bed. Thenâbecause apparently he's auditioning for some porno-meets-action-movie hybridâhe puts the wrapper between his teeth. Locks eyes with you. Rips it open.
And okay, PSA time: Kids (not that any kids should be reading this, what the fuck brain?)âthis is not how you open condoms. Use your fingers like a normal person, not your teeth like some kind of sexual menace. That's literally Condom Safety 101.
But then again, when a guy this stupid hot does literally anything, your brain just kind of... accepts it. Like yeah, sure, demolish that condom wrapper with your teeth while maintaining smoldering eye contact. That's normal. That's fine. You're fine.
He gives the condom a cursory check (okay, at least he's being thorough), pinches the tip between his fingers and you just... watch. Wait.
"You gonna fuck me tomorrow or...?" The words slip out before your self-censor can nab them, biting and teasing.
Bad choice.
His handâhis stupidly large, stupidly warm handâwraps around your thigh and yanks you down the bed in one fluid motion. And why the fuck is that so hot? Why are you noticing how his fingers practically span your whole thigh? Why is the heat of his palm against your skin making your breath catch?
Your eyes flicker back to his cock andâoh. When did he even get the condom on? You must have missed that while you were having your crisis about his hands. But he's ready now, thick and hard andâ
Fuck.
He pushes in with one swift motion and your body just... takes him. Like you're literally eager for it, still slick and open from his mouth. He makes this soft gasping sound like he's actually dying, like your cunt is some kind of religious experience.
"Fuck, you're so wet," he groans, hips flush against yours. "So fucking slippery and warm, feels like silkâ"
"That'sâahâwhat happens when you eat someone out properly," you manage, even as your walls flutter around him. Because apparently your mouth doesnât know when to quit, even with a dick inside you.
His laugh is rough, breathless.
"Iâll keep that in mind."
And fuckâthe way he says it, like a promise, like a threat. Your cunt clenches at the thought and he actually growls.
He pushes your thighs down against the mattress andâow. Okay, that's definitely going to hurt tomorrow. Future You is probably already plotting Present You's murder, adding your name to some karmic hit list right next to Emmaâs (who, letâs be real, is definitely contemplating homicide through these paper-thin walls right now).
But then he starts moving andâoh.
Oh fuck.
Every coherent thought evaporates because he's burying himself so deep you swear he's trying to carve out a permanent place inside you. Like he wants your body to remember exactly how he feels, wants to leave an impression that'll last long after tonight.
You didnât even get a proper look at his size earlier (too busy fizzing over his hands, his mouth, literally everything else), but holy shit. What you do know is he's thickâlike, properly thick. Every inch of him pressed against your walls like he's trying to eliminate any space between you, like he's mapping out your insides for future reference.
"Fuck, you're tight," he groans, and you actually feel him twitch inside you. "So fuckingâ"
"Less talking," you manage to gasp out, "more moving."
His laugh is rough, breathless. "As you wish."
He snaps his hips onceâtesting, exploringâand your breath hitches in your throat. Then again. And again. Quick thrust in, torturously slow pull out, and every single time has you gasping like some Victorian maiden with a too-tight corset.
"Like that?" He sounds way too smug for someone balls-deep in a stranger. "The way you squeeze me every time Iâ"
"You always this chatty during sex?" Your voice comes out embarrassingly breathy, but whatever. "Or am I just special?"
Another snap of his hips that makes your eyes roll back. "Maybe I just like the sounds you make when I'm inside you."
And fuckâwhy is that hot? That shouldnât be hot. You're still so wet from earlier that you can hear it, can feel how smoothly he glides in and out, nice and easy.
"You're certainlyâahâconfident," you manage between thrusts, because apparently your mouth doesnât know when to quit. "Compensating for something?"
His grip on your thighs tightens. "Want me to stop and let you check?"
"Donât you fucking dare."
His pace quickens andâoh hello, is that a smirk he's biting back? It is. It absolutely fucking is. And your brain, your stupid, traitorous brain, finds that scorching. Because of course it does. You squint your eyes shut because you canât deal with how cocky he looks right now, canât process how that cockiness is actually doing it for you.
Congratulations, you've officially lost it. This is your villain origin story. Death by dick-induced insanity. They'll write case studies about you in Psychology Today: "Local Woman's Brain Melts Because Hot Stranger Has Good Dick Game." Your mother would be so proud.
But also? Also shut the fuck up, brain, because you're literally getting the best dick of your life right now so maybe save the self-reproach for later? Like, there's a time and place for your characteristic overthinking and this ainât it.
He leans forward then, changing the angle as he chases your mouth, and holy fuck. Each thrust goes deeper, harder, fasterâlike he's trying to reach parts of you no one else has touched. His kiss is messy, all tongue and teeth and desperation, and you're actually whimpering into his mouth like some kind ofâ
Wait.
Hold the fucking phone.
Since when do you whimper? What is this, some kind of Harlequin romance novel? Are you secretly the protagonist of a Fabio-covered paperback? Because you donât whimper. You donât make these soft, needy little sounds into strange menâs mouths. Thatâs not your brand. Thatâs notâ
But then he rolls his hips in this way that makes you see actual fucking stars, and okay, you know what? Fuck your brand. Fuck everything. Because the way he's moving? The way he's filling you up like you're some kind of horny piĂąata? Yeah, that takes precedence over your identity crisis.
And speaking of crisesâwhy does this feel so fucking good? Like, mathematically speaking, dick is dick. It's basic anatomy. Tab A into Slot B. So why does every thrust feel like he's rewriting the laws of physics? Why does your body respond to him like he's got some kind of sexual Midas touch?
The worst part? The absolute worst part? You can feel another orgasm building already. Which is ridiculous. Impossible. You literally came like ten minutes ago. This man hasnât even finished once and here you are, ready to go again like some kind of horny Energizer bunny.
You need to have a serious conversation with your pussy about standards and expectations. Like, what happened to the refractory period? What happened to playing hard to get? Because this? This instant response to everything he does? This eager little flutter every time he hits that spot just right?
This is just embarrassing.
But also really, really fucking good.
"You take my cock so fuckin' well," he groans against your neck, voice rough and slurred. "Like y'were made for it, so perfectâ"
And okay, what kind of porn dialogue bullshit is that? Who actually says things like that during sex? More importantly, why is it working? Why does every filthy word from his mouth send electricity shooting straight to your cunt?
"Hnnnghâ"
That's it. That's all you can manage because your brain-to-mouth filter is totally fried. Your nails dig into his shoulders as he hits that spot just right, and you're pretty sure you're leaving marks but whatever. Future Him problems.
"F-fuck, how you clench around me when I say shit like that," his words come out breathless, hitching. "Like hearing how good you feel? How tight and wet and fucking flawlessâ"
"Shut up." But it comes out more like a whine than a command, completely undermining any attempt at snark. Your walls flutter around him traitorously, and his responding groan vibrates through your whole body.
"Make me," he challenges, punctuating it with a particularly vicious thrust that has your eyes rolling back. "Or maybe you don't want me to? Maybe you secretly get off onâfuckâon hearing how amazing you are, how nobody's ever swallowed me this deep beforeâ"
"Nghhâ" Your brain's offline. Completely fucking offline. No thoughts, head empty, just the overwhelming sensation of him moving inside you, the heat of his breath against your neck, the absolute filth falling from his lips.
"S'true though," he pants, pace growing erratic. "Never felt anything like this, like yourâoh fuckâ"
A moan tears from your throatâloud and wanton and utterly mortifying. But you can't help it, not when he's fucking you like he's trying to ruin you for anyone else, not when he keeps saying these things that make your insides turn to molten lava.
"That's it, lemme hear you," he encourages, and you want to punch him for how smug he sounds but you also want him to never stop. "Love the sounds you make when I'm deep in this pussy, when Iâshitâ"
His voice catches as you deliberately tighten around him, a small victory that makes you smirk despite how your body's on fire.
"Fuck, you're evil."
"You talk too much," you manage to get out between gasps, even as your hips chase his rhythm desperately. You're closeâso fucking closeâbut not quite there.
He laughs against your neck, the sound dark and promising.
âTouch yourself for me."
When you don't immediately complyâbecause for some reason you still want to challenge himâhe pulls back just enough to look you in the eye.
"Rub that pretty clit, show me how you like it."
The command in his voice shouldn't turn you on this much. "Make me," you challenge, because apparently your mouth has a death wish.
"Oh?"
His rhythm slows to something torturous, each thrust deep and deliberate. "Do I need to show you where it is? Guide those lovely fingers myself?"
You're about to snark back when his hand slides between your bodies, andâoh. Oh.
"Found it," he says with infuriating smugness, circling your clit with practiced ease. Your whole body jerks at the contact, oversensitive and desperate. "Seems like I know exactly where it is. Don't I?"
"Fuckâ" Your voice breaks as he applies just the right amount of pressure, the bastard. "You're soânghhâ"
"I'm so what?" He's grinning now, you can hear it in his voice even as you squeeze your eyes shut. "C'mon, tell me. Use your words."
"Insufferable," you grit out, but your body betrays you, arching into his touch. "Arrogantâahâassholeâ"
"Maybe." His fingers speed up, matching the pace of his thrusts, and holy shit you're going to die. "But I'm an arrogant asshole who's about to make you cum again, aren't I?"
He's right and you hate it. Hate how well he reads your body, hate how he found your clit without hesitation like he's got some kind of carnal GPS, hate how fucking good he is at this.
"That's it," he encourages as your breathing hitches, as your nails dig into his shoulders. "Let me feel you fall apart. Wanna feel this cunt clamp down on my cock when youâ"
His hips stutter and you can feel him pulsing inside you, even through the condom. The way his whole body tenses, the broken sound he makes against your throatâit pushes you right over the edge. Yeah. Your second orgasm says hi; has you curling your toes against his back, tensing your thighs around him as if he would ever dream of leaving right now.
"Fuck fuck fuckâ" You're not even sure which one of you is saying it anymore. Maybe both. Maybe neither. Maybe you're having an out-of-body experience because Jesus Christ.
For a moment, there's just silence. Just breathing. Just the sound of your heart trying to recall its normal cadence. Then he chuckles against your cheekâa low, sated sound that you'll deny remembering tomorrowâand follows it with a quick nip that makes you jolt.
"Fuck, that was good," he breathes, still catching his breath.
"S'alright," you manage, even though your legs are literally jelly and your brain's still rebooting.
He pulls back just enough to quirk an eyebrow at you, that infuriating smirk playing at his lips. "Just alright?"
"Fishing for compliments?" You raise your own eyebrow, trying to ignore how his hand is still absently stroking your hip. "That's kind of desperate."
"Says the girl who came twice."
Andâokay, rude. Accurate, but rude.
He shifts then, carefully pulling out (and at least he's considerate about it, making sure not to hurt you), and starts dealing with the condom. But then he just... stands there. Looking lost. Condom in hand and this adorably bemused expression that makes something in your chest do a weird little flip.
No. Not adorable. Nothing about this guy is adorable. Hot? Yes. Skilled with his tongue? Abso-fucking-lutely. But not adorable. You refuse to find anything about him cute, especially not the way he's glancing around the room like a lost puppy trying to figure out where toâ
You can't stifle the snort that escapes you. "Trash can's over there, genius." You gesture with your head toward the small bin by the dresser. "Try not to get lost on the way."
He rolls his eyes but moves across the room, and you definitely don't watch the play of muscles in his back as he walks. Or the way his ass looks in the dim light. Or how his hand rakes through his tousled hair as he leans down to dispose of the condom andâ
Fuck.
Fuck.
Because here's the thing: you've had one-night stands before. You know how this goes. Quick fuck, awkward goodbye, never see each other again. That's the routine. That's the protocol. That's what smart, sensible people do.
But.
But you're already thinking about how his mouth felt between your legs. About how he filled you up just right. About how he seemed to know exactly what to do with his hands, his hips, hisâ
And you know what? Fuck it. Fuck being sensible and sane. Fuck playing it cool. You've got a hot guy with stellar dick game right here, right now. Might as well take advantage while you can.
Before your brain can talk you out of it, you're launching yourself off the bed. Your legs are still a bit wobbly (thanks, Mr. Two Orgasms), but you manage to catch him just as he turns around. Your mouth crashes into his, messy and demanding, as you push him against the wall.
His surprised grunt turns into a pleased hum against your lips, and his hands immediately find your hips like they belong there. Like this is exactly what he was hoping would happen.
Cocky bastard.
He spins you around so fast your head spinsâor maybe that's just the lingering vodka. Either way, suddenly your back's hitting the wall andâoh. Okay. This is happening. Again. Because apparently your body doesn't give two shits about being thoroughly fucked already.
His mouth crashes back into yours, hungry and insistent, and it should be gross reallyâyou can taste yourself on his tongue, everything's messy and uncoordinated and frantic. But instead it's just...hot. So fucking hot you feel like you're melting from the inside out.
Then his hands slide down to your thighs and he's lifting you like you weigh zilch (and seriously, what is it with this guy and manhandling? More importantly, why do you like it?). Your legs wrap around his waist automatically, and how his cock twitches against your stomachâalready getting hard againâshould not make you feel this smug.
"Eager?" you manage to gasp between kisses, because apparently your mouth doesn't know when to quit.
He bites your bottom lip in response, just hard enough to make you whimper (and fuck, there's that sound again, what is wrong with you tonight?). "Iâm sorry? Werenât you the one jumping me?â
"Just felt sorry for you." The words come out breathier than intended as his mouth finds that spot behind your ear. "Standing there looking all lost with your used condomâ"
His growl cuts you off, vibrating through his chest into yours. One of his hands tangles in your hair, yanking your head back to expose your throat, andâfuck. The way he attacks your neck like he's trying to mark you up, like he wants everyone to know exactly what you've been doing...
Then his mouth finds yours again, swallowing whatever protest you might have made. And it's different this timeâsloppier, needier. All clashing teeth and warring tongues and his hands everywhere at once. You're pressed so tightly between him and the wall you can feel every twitch of his muscles, every stuttered breath.
One of his hands slides up your thigh, fingertips trailing fire in their wake, and you're already embarrassingly slick again. Already aching for him like you didn't just have him inside you minutes ago. Your hips roll against him craving friction, and the sound he makesâhalf groan, half snarlâshoots straight between your legs.
"Condom," you gasp against his mouth. "Need aâ"
"Yeah," he breathes, but he doesn't move away. Just keeps kissing you like he's suffocating and you're oxygen, like he can't bear to stop even for a heartbeat. "Yeah, justâfuck, you feel so goodâ"
Your brain's rapidly disintegrating, especially with the way he keeps grinding against you, the way his mouth keeps doing that to your neck. But you manage to remember: "Bed. Other condoms. On the bed."
He makes this sound of acknowledgment but still doesn't budge, just shifts his hips in a way that has his cock sliding against your clit andâjesus fuck.
"If you don't get a condom right now," you warn, voice embarrassingly unsteady, "I'm going to kill you."
His laugh is rough, breathless. "Such violence."
He practically teleports to the bedâlike, Olympic-level sprinting for that condom. It'd be comical, the way he fumbles with the wrapper (apparently Mr. Smooth isn't so smooth when he's desperate), except you're too busy being embarrassingly turned on by his urgency.
You're about to suggest moving to the bedâbecause your legs are already shaking and wall sex seems ambitious after two orgasmsâbutâ
Holy fuck.
He's got you up against the wall again in one fluid motion, hands gripping your thighs as he lines himself up andâoh god. The sound that rips from your throat as he fills you in one swift thrust is utterly shameful. But the broken "fuck" that falls from his lips? How his whole body shudders as he bottoms out?
Yeah, okay. Maybe worth the mortification.
"Jesus fuck," he breathes against your neck, voice wrecked. "You feelâshit, how do you feel even better than before?"
"Hush it," you gasp, even as your walls flutter around him. "And move."
He laughs, breathless and gritty. "Demanding little thing." But he's already moving, setting a pace that has your head lolling back. "God, youâre even wetter than before, taking me so wellââ
"That your professional opinion?" Your attempt at snark falls flat when it comes out as more of a moan. "Done extensive research, have you?"
His hips snap up particularly hard at that. "Neverâfuckânever felt anything like this."
And that should be a line. That should be the kind of bullshit guys say during hookups to stroke their own egos. Except the way he says itâall breathless wonder and raw honestyâmakes something hot unfurl in your chest.
"Yeah?" It comes out embarrassingly breathy, but whatever. Canât really care when every thrust is melting honey down your spine. "Prove it."
He makes this soundâhalf growl, half moanâlike he fucking loves your audacity. "Already made you come twice."
"Maybe I was faking."
"Sweetheart, nobody's that good an actress."
And honestly? Fair. But you're not about to admit that, not when he's already so smug about how well he plays your body. Instead, you drag him down for a kiss that's more teeth than finesse, swallowing his groans as his pace gets more erratic.
"F-fuck," he pants against your mouth. "Gonna make you come again. Wanna feel youâ"
"Big talk for someone whoâahâhasn't delivered yet."
His responding thrust makes your back arch off the wall. "Jusâ wait."
His hips snap up harder at your challenge, making your head thump back against the wall. And fuckâthe way he's moving now, all rough desperation and graceless rhythm. Everything's wet and messy and absolutely filthy, the sounds of skin on skin blending with your breathless moans.
"Stillâahâahâwaiting for that delivery," you manage, even as your nails dig into his shoulders.
"Fuckinââ" His breathless laugh is menacing. "Alwaysâfuckâgotta have the last word, donâtcha?â
You'd have a comeback for that, you really would, except he chooses that moment to shift his angle andâholy shit. Because now? Now his pubic bone grinds against your clit every time he moves, every time he thrusts deep inside you. And honestly? Fucking unfair that even his bones know where your clit is.
You can feel him twitching inside you, can tell he's close by the way his breath comes in harsh pants against your neck. And you're almost there too, just need a little moreâ
But then he's groaning, hips stuttering as he cums. His whole body tenses, pressing you flatter against the wall as he empties into the condom.
And okay, great for him, congratulations, but you were so fucking close.
You tap his back urgently. "Keep goinâ."
"What?" He's still catching his breath, forehead pressed against your shoulder. "Gimme a second, ahâI justâ"
"I wasâright there," you whine (and yes, you're actually whining now, this is what you've been reduced to). "Don't you dare stop."
He lifts his head, looking at you incredulously. "I literally just filled the condomâ"
"I don't give a fuck, just move."
And okay, yeah, PSA time number two: This is definitely not safe sex practice. The second a condom's full, it needs to be changed. That's like, Sex Ed 101. But also? Also your clit is throbbing and you were this close to coming and your horny lizard brain has completely taken over.
"Jesus," he breathes, but he's already starting to move again, shallow little thrusts that make your eyes roll back. "You're fucking insatiable."
"Like earlier," you gasp, grinding down against him. "With the⌠with your hipbone."
He laughs against your neckâa rough, breathless sound that shouldn't be as arousing as it is. "Gotcha."
And he does. Repositions himself, makes sure heâs got exactly the same position he had earlier. His hipbone comes in contact with your clit as he begins thrusting faster again, and fucking yeah, thatâs what you needed.
"Fuck, the way you feel," he groans. "So slick and snug andâshitâ"
"Shut up shut up shut upâ"
Because you can't handle his voice right now, can't deal with how his words make the drowning sensation grow more and more intense by the second. You're so close you can taste it, right on the precipice, just need a little moreâ
Then he nips at your neck, his tongue flattening against your pulse point. And that's it. You're a goner. Again. For the third time tonight.
Your entire body locks up as bliss courses through, lapping at your core like waves at a shore. Your eyes instinctively close as you relish it in all its intensity, and you're pretty sure you make some kind of mortifying noise but whatever. Three orgasms in, dignity is a distant memory.
He slows his movements gradually, letting you ride it out, and you can feel him softening inside you. Your head drops to his shoulder because keeping it upright seems like way too much effort right now. The residual booze is hitting different after getting thoroughly wreckedâeverything soft and fuzzy around the edges.
You vaguely register him checking the condom with his free handâthe other one still supporting your ass because apparently you're not ready to unwrap your legs from his waist yet. Your brain's moving in slow motion, heavy with alcohol and mist and the kind of bone-deep exhaustion that only comes from really good sex.
"Hey." He taps your back lightly. "You falling asleep on me? Dick game that good?"
"Die," you mumble into his shoulder, not even bothering to lift your head. "Just... shut up and die."
You hear him chuckle, vaguely. It should be irritating. It isn't. You're too drained to care. Everything's warm and hazy and your limbs feel like they're crafted from lead.
You're only half-aware of him moving you to the bed, of sheets being pulled up, of a warm body pressing against your back. Your consciousness is already drifting, floating in that space between awake and asleep where nothing quite computes.
The last thing you register, right before slumber claims you completely, is his nose pressed against your neck and his drowsy murmur:
âSmell like vanilla now too."
â・°⊠TAGLIST âŠÂ°ď˝Ąâ
@cannotalwaysbenight @livingformintyoongi @itstoastsworld @somehowukook
Š jungkoode 2025 no reposts, translations, or adaptations
#jungkook smut#jungkook scenario#jungkook x reader#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts x reader#bts scenario#bts imagine#jungkook fanfic#jungkook imagine#bts jungkook#bts fanfiction#jungkook fanfiction#jk fic#bts au#jungkook oneshot#jungkook angst#jungkook college au#college jungkook#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#bts fic recs#jungkook x you#jeon jungkook x y/n#fmu#fuck me up
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Pathologic: The Marble Nest is so Nietzschean it makes me sick. I believe Dankovskyâs time loop perfectly encapsulates what Nietzsche was referring to whenever he discussed the eternal return. How so, you might ask? Let me explain.
Concepts similar to the eternal return predate Nietzsche, most notably with the concept of samsara (the cycle of death and rebirth, influenced by the karmic cycle) in Hinduism and Buddhism, but the eternal return holds significant weight in Nietzsche's philosophy given that not only is he oft called a nihilist (although that label is not apt), but also given that Nietzsche was a staunch determinist. The first time Nietzsche mentions the eternal return is in The Gay Science, where he presents it to the reader as a thought experiment:
âWhat, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more' ⌠Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.' If this thought gained possession of you, it would change you as you are or perhaps crush you. The question in each and every thing, 'Do you desire this once more and innumerable times more?' would lie upon your actions as the greatest weight. Or how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life to crave nothing more fervently than this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?â (Nietzsche, The Gay Science, p. 273-274, tr. Walter Kaufmann).
Essentially, the eternal return is the belief that time itself is an infinite loop. Everything will repeat, and every event will play out in the same way for all of eternity. While Pathologic as a whole does tend to take more from absurdism and the Theatre of the Absurd (for time loops specifically? See: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead), I think the eternal return holds special weight for Dankovsky in The Marble Nest; he willingly chooses (depending on which ending you chose) to repeat the same day over and over again, not only because he is stubborn and refuses to die, but because he wants to still find a way to keep everyone safe and keep the plague out of the Stone Yard. Despite this, however, the events of the DLC are set to repeat in the exact same way, no matter how many times you try, in vain, to change the outcome. The plague will still come, and you will still choose whether or not you will finally die or not.
And I find it fascinating that the Executor sees Dankovsky's death as being, essentially, mercy. It is implied that when we are playing the DLC, this is not the first time Dankovsky has continued to repeat the time loop. How long has he been doing it for? That, we don't know, but the Executor believes that not only is Dankovsky agitating for continuing to deny death, but that it is also causing him suffering. By choosing to go with the Executor, Dankovsky will finally escape the samsara of his deathbed-induced, delirious time loop. By the end of the DLC, he has come to grapple with death and really, what the hell he's doing. By choosing to go with the Executor now, I believe Dankovsky is, well... not necessarily more at peace with death, but has ultimately come to accept his own mortality in the wake of the plague spreading to the Stone Yard. What would the point of his death be if he just didn't learn anything? That is why the game chastizes you when you choose to die during the first conversation, after all.
On the other hand, there's the choice to repeat the day once again. Would Daniil Dankovsky, bachelor of medicine and famed thanaticist, truly choose to just accept his death? No. Dankovsky would not. Not the man who claimed he would destroy Death itself. That's why he came to this town in the first place, was it not? He will choose to repeat the day, to try in vain to save this town no matter what, and no matter how many times he must relive this day once again.
#not mentioning ending 4 because thats more metatheatre to me but hm#i feel soooo ill over marble nest man#there is so much i didnt even bring up amor fati or his beliefs on fatalism + nihilism + the entirety of zarathustra yet#at this point i just need to write an essay on the philosophy of this specific DLC#do i claim authorial intent here? no#i don't believe they intended for nietzsche to sneak his way in here#but alas he did! so now what#pathologic#the marble nest#daniil dankovsky#bachelor dankovsky#bachelor pathologic#the bachelor#pathologic meta#meta essay#meta#friedrich nietzsche#nietzschean#absurdism#on time loops#eternal return#eternal recurrence
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"A photo of Dad, Mom, and their children."
In my constant visits to see Yuichiro I would snoop around the entire lab for hints of backstory, and upon finding this photo the first time I was emotionally destroyed. Do you think this may be one of the few if not only pictures they have of Hub while he was still alive?
For me, it's even more interesting that the description gets more specific with the first few games. Starting with a "a photo of a dad", then implying it as if it was Lan's dad (quoted above), then finally clarifying the children as "two smiling boys".
#âwell duh of course that's it it's on yuichiro's deskâ-- yes but you don't know for sure I wanted to Be Sure#so I looked for it in every game and now that I'm at BN3's endgame I'm crying again-- the image seems even clearer now#but can I see it please? pls ( J; c; )J#now as for why I chose this specific setting#lan said hub died when he was 1 yr old#so as much I know parents take 30 million pics of their babbies this one probably was a very significant one with everyone altogether#the more I piece everything together the more my heart is being crushed into dust#doodle-daas#comics#lan hikari#netto hikari#yuichiro hikari#haruka hikari#hub hikari#saito hikari
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Slim Pickinâs
âď¸ ln4 x bestfriend!reader
âď¸ where your childhood wish becomes a reality
âď¸ warnings - none !! just some fluff and kisses
âď¸ word count 1.5k
âď¸ a/n : so i heard sabrina carpenters song thatâs gonna be on short nâ sweet and then this was born two days later !! enjoy <33
âMaybe I'm gay.â
your best friend, lando, looks at you, confused. âwhat?â he asks through a chuckle.
you were fed up. The number of douchebag men that you have in your phone and not one of them has ever made it to a second date. That fact makes you want to rip your eyeballs out.
âmaybe god just forgot my gay awakening and thatâs why i canât find a boyfriend! maybe i just donât like men.â you throw your head back on the couch in landoâs living room in monaco.
âi doubt that he just forgot,â lando giggles
you knew this wasn't true. you knew you liked men and only men. because you definitely liked the man sitting at your feet, and you have since you were both 15. youâve just never ever told him.
And you planned to keep it that way.
you groaned. âNo, Lando, you donât get it! itâs slim pickings around here. half the men in my phone donât even know the difference between there, their and theyâre!â quiet giggles from the man sitting across the couch from you filled the room.
Lando knew you were only joking, yet he canât help but feel bad at your lack of dating life when he has models flocking toward him at all hours of the day. granted, the girl he wants isnât even a model. In fact, sheâs sitting right in front of him, sprawled out on his couch, complaining about boys. but she didnât know that.
And he planned on keeping it that way.
â
Throughout your week-long stay in Monaco, you decided to set yourself on a mission to meet a guy and go on a date. On the fourth day, you were successful!
During a coffee run while lando streamed, you met a guy who asked you out to dinner the following night. You were so excited since given your history, the chance of a guy asking you out was close to zero. When he asked you even scanned your surroundings to make sure he was talking to you specifically.
you were getting ready in the guest room of landoâs apartment, since you were staying there during your visit.
while applying your lip liner and gloss, you heard a knock on the door. âHey, what are you thinking we do for din- woah.â
the curly haired brunette stared at you in awe. you were always beautiful in his eyes, yet right now he was looking at you like you were the only girl in the world. it then clicks in landoâs head that youâre not dressed for him. âWhy are you all dressed up?!â he teases, a mischievous smirk on his face.
âoh i have a date!â you hum with a smile.
he looks at you confused, like he doesnât believe you fully. leaning against the doorway âwhat happened to slim pickings?â he pokes, crossing his arms atop his chest.
âcanât a girl meet a guy and go on a date? gosh.â you scoff, slightly annoyed that heâs teasing you over this. youâd hoped he would be happy youâre crawling your way out of this slump of being single. it was one of the things you loved about him â how he always treated you with nothing but kindness and support.
âFine, fine, whatever. have fun, i guessâ he turns around and ducks into his office, closing the door harsher than you expected. Just as you make a mental reminder to have a talk with him about it, your phone chimes â your date is waiting in the lobby.
lando watches you from the cracked doorway of his office, as you do a final check of your makeup in the mirror of the mud room. he thought you looked beautiful and was silently raging at the fact he isnât the man youâve dressed up for tonight. heâs liked you since you both were young kids running through the suburban bristol streets while your parents sat on the patio of his childhood home socializing over cocktails.
You were always there to support him through his racing career and you were the first person he called after McLaren chose to extend his contract. While he doubted himself and everyone told him to leave, you told him to follow his heart and do what felt right to him. Now, heâs a race winner with the team he calls home. To him, itâs always been you. You have always been the girl he pictured his life with.
But his gut always told him youâd never return these feelings back to him.
â
your date went horrible. All the guy did was talk about himself. and once he found out you were friends with some celebrities, the date had ended there for you. although you got some free drinks and a meal out of it. it only made you fall further into this loneliness.
the elevator dings, signaling youâve arrived at the floor of landoâs apartment. you stumble to landoâs door. the alcohol takes effect and makes you trip into the door, startling Lando whoâs standing just on the other side, waiting for you. He throws the door open, finding you standing there with slightly messed up hair and a frown on your face.
âcâmere,â he says quietly, taking you to the couch. sat on the coffee table in front of you, he gently took your foot into his lap. you feel his soft touch as he gently removes your heels from your feet. sending shivers down your spine.
âIt was horrible. all he did was talk about himself,â you say frustrated. âI also accidentally let it slip that I knew you, oh, and donât even get me started on his horrible taste in just about everything.â
He helps you up, taking you to the bathroom and sitting you down on the counter. He rummages through your toiletries bag, before taking out your makeup remover. As he starts removing your makeup, you study every inch of his face, counting every freckle and watching the way his jaw muscles clench as he focuses.
god he was beautiful.
you feel a lump in your throat as tears begin to fill your eyes.
âHey, hey, whatâs wrong?â Lando asks, halting his movements.
âitâs just- i'm pretty sure every good man in this world is either taken or dead and its not fair.â you say letting a stray tear fall. in your head you knew you were being dramatic, but the three glasses of wine you had to get through that date have taken full control of your emotions.
Lando chuckles lightly, folding with the used makeup wipe in his hands, he looks to you âwell, iâm neither of those things.â he says softly, almost as if heâs upset.
fuck. shit.
âno, no, wait, lando- i didnât mean it like that, you're a great guy. an amazing guy actually.â you say quickly. he smiles at you as you continue to ramble âi mean, shit, iâd date you in a heartbeat-â
âwhat?â
you slap your hand over your mouth. holy fuck, did you really just say that? and Lando not saying anything just solidifies that he doesnât return your feelings. Lando is staring at you like youâve got three heads coming out of both of your ears.
you start to panic âiâm sorry, i donât know why i said that, forget i said any-â youâre cut off with the feeling of landoâs lips crashing into yours. his hands gently cup your face as he kisses you. you instantly return the kiss. The world slowly falls away leaving just the two of you. your hands moving to find home in his curl, slightly pulling on them. Lando releases a quiet groan. His hands work their way down your body to rest on your hips, gently pulling you closer to him.
Lando pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. âI have literally loved you since we were 16.â
you smile at him, âi love you, too.â
The two of you find yourself in Lando's bed watching your favorite movie, wrapped up in eachother. Lando turns his head to look down at you resting on his chest. Admiring your sleepy state as you attempt to stay focused on the movie he gave up on watching. How can he focus on anything else when you were sitting next to him?
the girl he's wanted since the two of you sat on his porch on a late summer night, eating the ice cream his mother tried to hide. giggles filling the air while you pointed out constellations to lando, chatting about where you wanted to be in 5 years.
âWell I hope to be in formula 1â Lando admitted. âYou'll be there, I'm sure of it.â you added giving lando a smile he swore was brighter than the stars sat above.
He gasps slightly âdon't moveâ
you freeze as he reaches a hand to your cheek, softly swiping a fallen eyelash holding it in front you.
âMake a wishâ he breathed.
You shut your eyes tight, emphasizing the wish you were making before taking a big breath and sending the eyelash into the air. Followed by the sound of giggles coming from the brunette, he asks what you wished for. âIf i tell you it won't come true!â you gasp faking offense.
who knew that after 8 years, your wish would finally came true.
đ¤âď¸.
AYAYAYAYAY ALL DONE !!
big thank u too my lovely friend who edited this and helped me <33
#formula 1#lando norris#ln4#f1#f1 x reader#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris fluff#lando norris x yn#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#f1 fanfic#lando fluff
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NEW YEAR, NEW ME
( A collab with thee lovely lele @bloombabydoll )
If you want to reinvent and rebrand yourself, or just continue to make positive improvements in 2024, the first thing is to evaluate your current year.Â
EVALUATION
Reflect on how things went for you. Was there continuous growth? Were there many difficult times? Did you discover anything major about yourself and so on. Try to summarise your year in (a) paragraph(s) at least.Â
Oversee your goals. Which ones you didnât, did achieve, difficult ones, easy ones and the impacts it had on your life.Â
Compare your dream girl then and now. Is your visualisation of your life currently different to the one you have now and why?Â
List any major losses or successes youâve had in your life, and how they have helped you or why it matters to you.Â
This evaluation can be as detailed or simple as you like, but as long as you have a decent outline of your year.Â
PREPARING & PLANNING
To prepare for 2024, you want to know what you want life to be like in 2024. Something realistic to a point, but still is a growth journey.Â
Think of something that you can associate with 2024. This can be a word, a symbol, art, a song, a book, a movie, a place, or even just all of these things. When you think about your goals and your journey, this is your theme. This is something that should relate to your goals or your dream girl somehow.Â
For me, I chose a word and a song. My word is growth because, for me, 2023 was a year for just being able to shed my old self which I did achieve however I just felt there wasnât much growth as an actual person and not just in my environment.Â
For my song, it is Mayflowers by Proleters and Taskrok. This song is the epitome of what I would imagine, is the most polished mindset. I would say perfect, but having a perfect mindset is near impossible. I want to have a mindset glow up because Iâve just been hard on myself lately which has caused my confidence to plummet.Â
Before we get into the fun part of the preparation stage, we have to do some organisation in our life. I want you to take a look at your daily lifestyle and your habits, and be completely unashamed about this.Â
Then categorise these habits into two sections; Leave and Leap. Leave habits are habits that you are leaving behind in 2023, leap habits are habits that are leaping into 2024 with you.Â
Any habits that are self-destructive, addictive or generally harmful are leave habits. Beneficial habits and self-building are leaping with you into the new year.
I want you to do the same for people in your life, all environments (school, work, online etc) and anything else you believe needs to be sorted out.Â
This works better if you can reason with yourself why it is a leaping or leaving habit, but donât try to convince yourself a bad habit is good or vice versa.Â
Now, I want you to document an honest paragraph about who you are right now. List your bad and good habits, your strengths and weaknesses and your behaviours. This one requires a bit more detail.Â
Then, write a paragraph about who you will be in 2024, your dream girl. List her habits, lifestyle, behaviours, mindset, strengths and anything else extra. Iâll explain later but do not include materialistic desires in this your dream girl. Once again, this one also requires details.Â
Stemming from those paragraphs, I want you to create specific and achievable goals. SMART goals are best, but I want to introduce you to how I set goals.Â
I divide my year into quarters. For each 3 months, I have 3-5 goals for those months. Usually, itâs one from each area of my life. Then, I break down these goals.Â
Questions and How They HelpÂ
Why do I want to do this goal - For motivation and commitment.Â
How itâll benefit me - For the sake of improvement.Â
How can I involve myself in this goal - To achieve your goal. Â
I prefer this method because it is a lot simpler for me, as I am just a young girl and my bigger goals are more in the future in which Iâll utilise SMART goals.Â
To create good goals; Make sure they align with your current values and life principles first. Try to avoid creating goals that you have just taken from the internet. Those goals just arenât it and you most likely wonât follow through with it.Â
Be specific. Donât say you want to eat more healthily, instead say you want to include (a certain group of veggies/fruits) in your diet and reduce the intake of ( food/drink).Â
E.g using eating healthy example
I want to eat healthy -> I want to start including foods that boost my immunity system and support my skin while reducing those that have the opposite effect.Â
Then break down those quarterly goals into monthly, weekly and daily goals. Make these habits that you can establish in your lifestyle and have a way in which you can refer back to your progress.Â
EXAMPLE GOAL BREAKDOWN
Quarterly Goal - Read 6 books. Â
Monthly Goal - Finish 2 books.
Weekly Goal - Be or near half way of one book.
Daily Goal - 20 minutes of reading per day.Â
AREAS TO SET GOALS IN YOUR LIFE
Academics
Spiritual
Fitness/sport
Health and wellbeing
Mental health
Personal life
Relationships
Hobbies and recreation
Now for the best part- vision boards! Collect all of your favourite images that embody your quarters or the whole year, then put them in one place where you can see them regularly!
Some ideas are a scrapbook, Pinterest boards, mood boards, playlists etc.Â
Choose your theme; It can be your healthy girl era, your academic come back or whatever you want. You can have more than two btw.
Use quotes! Then actually say them in your daily life as a way to shift your mindset to reflect said quote.
Include inspirational people. It doesn't even have to be a millionaire or a very well established person, it could be your friends or someone on the internet.
Be imaginative. Your vision board doesn't have to realistic in my opinion, as the whole point of it to me is that viewing it daily and considering it to be part of your life one day allows for you to open up to those opportunities.
Materialistic Wants
I feel obligated to make this a separate section. This section is practically tangible objects that you want.
However, when choosing this said object that you want, mindfully think about why you want that thing specifically.
It doesnât have to be meaningful, but as long as each thing on that list has got a purpose to you, and will serve you, I think itâs all good!
Conclusion
If you want, you can definitely start implementing habits before January. However, I believe that as long as you go into 2024 at least knowing who you want to be and shedding away any limiting beliefs, youâll be fine.
Make sure to incorporate some self care rituals into your daily life as wellâ¨
To end this, I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas! And that 2024 they will achieve to close that gap with their current selves and their dream girl selves! đđ
#that girl lifestyle#becoming her#becoming that girl#that girl#green juice girl#clean girl#pink pilates princess#pink pilates girl#pink pill#wonyoungism#new year#new me#reinvent yourself#im rebranding#resetting#self worth#self help#self reflection#self growth#self love#self care#self improvement#self development#inner peace#inner work#self reflecting
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I want to speak about why the second part of the Best-True ending of Dragon Age Veilguard pierced me so deeply. The Flycam screenshots are from Aru/Elf botanist (YT linked at the bottom).
To set the tone, the music established the emotive themes of the scene. It speaks to the Lost Elf theme- however it is forever changed and lighter. This elf that was Lost for so many years is now Found. There is hope in the strings, there is redemption in each note. This also speaks to the specific codex from the lighthouse in Solasâ secret room. Not his office at the top of the building, extravagant, beautiful, overshadowing all others and looking down in godly benevolence - his private quarters on the main floor, where parts of his travel with the Inquisition surround him.
When Lavellan speaks to Solas, she is using a resolute voice, almost chastising him for thinking he has to do this alone. He has her, and she will keep reminding him.
*Edit: Please note she also speaks the common tongue in this instance.
Solas implores her to think of the dangers the journey he is going on will have, his head is down to show the residual shame and his plea for her safety. But also a part of him hopes. The reason all he says is that âthere will be dangerâ is a statement of warning but not fully entreating her to stay. His heart has a pause, he is prioritising her safety and wants her aware of the dangers.
Note, that he also speaks in Elven in response to her, his first language and mother tongue. As a trilingual, one usually reverts to their more natural tongue during a heightened emotional situation - in this case, Solas' warning statement is also a subconcious plea for her to understand him and join him despite the danger. He will never push her further than she wants to go like he was pushed by Mythal.
This is the shot normally, the downward and side tilt are clear making the imploring effect of his words resonate further. Unlike before where he only looked at her for small spans of time his attention is fully focused since being absolved of his duty. After she responds that she will be with him, forever no matter what, he shifts. This is akin to when making vows âI stay with you in sickness and in deathâ but they are crossing the boundaries of mortality. This is âI stay with you in any plight, any condition, any reality. I commit my eternity to youâ
Her response is an amalgamation of the following:
1) You are not alone in it emotionally and mentally as I am with you
2) Physically I am with you to endure it with you
3) Our joined manifestations will make it a better place quite literally, so the bleak darkness that could have encroached will not exist when we are together
This is also validated a bit by Trick Weekes QA:
She then states their love is eternal, and she chooses to walk on any path with him fully and wholly. A love that transcends time, mortal barriers, immortality, the different realms of existence. This combined with their standing pose as if at the altar of a wedding is the final part of her vows. Said in the same hallelujah pattern and in elven as he would speak - she commits to his language (mentally and emotionally) so he best will understand her declaration. (This is confirmed by @northgalis on Twitter).
This, in front of the witnesses who are the allies who helped them unite in their union, Rook and Morrigan whilst overseen by the Veil itself in the position of holiness. His blood is the bond they now share, the new blood magic in a way that ties them to a new fate of their own making. The veil that brought them together in the beginning of the journey they now tread into together.
Then they confirm their vows with a kiss, she pulls him in first, similarly to their first kiss in the fade and he reciprocates. Solas is weakened, hurting, feeling unworthy of the brightest soul in the universe but she chooses him and he finally submits to his desire and need for her. His duty now to himself, atonement and the woman who chose him with it all in mind.
Aruâs flycam footage also shows the kiss being deeper and him actively
After the kiss, he SMILES. The ending is now so much less bleak it is tender, it is soft it is comfort, it is peace.
A smiling glance. meeting at a crescendo; a shared moment of understanding;
Screenshot from Daoithe on Tumblr.
He then proceeds to thank Rook, for helping him see when he allowed himself to be so plagued by grief and guilt and not giving up on him as it could have turned to despair, revenge and anger, like all the other endings which I hate because they go against his very nature. The other endings spit in the face of his complexity the story keeps explicitly imploring you to see and have empathy. Solas is a spirit of wisdom, when guilt festers that wisdom manifests in the worst possible ways. And with no one to listen and read between the lines, the fate he is subjected too is far too unkind. But here, he not only is freed of his guilt but also, just as importantly and very implicitly, his fear of dying alone.
If you have played inquisition you will recall there is a moment near the climax of Here Lies the Abyss where Inquisitor and their chosen companions go into the Fade. Solas is easily one of the most fascinating and best companions to take with you as he from the onset has been a âFade expertâ and his lines throughout are intriguing and educational. During the quest you come across graves embodying the different characters biggest fears. And Solas? Dying alone. The god who went against everyone he knew for a better world, whose empathy only continued to hurt him and freed others with hopes to better the world is the most lonely man. And he is terrified and within himself brought low by his loneliness in his commitment to the path he feels he must take. This is why the next part transcends the scene.
After the kiss which confirmed their bond and pact - binding them together with love and empathy, wisdom and curiosity married - he thanks rook and looks back at Lavellan, his Vhenan. And it is a *micro second* shot that completely defeats me. His head held high, the concerned imploring tilt gone as he holds his chin higher in appreciation, respect and awe for the woman who chose him. The love of his life, his eternal companion. The only one to truly fully see him, respect him, and love him wholly. Who has forgiven him and chooses a path which only leads to him. He is honoured to be loved by her, and will work to be the better man he feels she deserves, but also beginning to accept that her love for him is in any form he takes. The one he prizes above all others, chose him, and he will never be alone - and that is everything.
Seeing completely, and being wholly seen.
This scene literally destroyed me in the best way. I am left hollow with love and adoration for this character and his relationship to his love Lavellan and no other romance will meet the threshold they have created for me. It is not Solavellan hell no longer, they have transcended to Solavellan heaven.
My playthrough video of the second half of the ending sequence.
Here is Arus Flycam YT video for reference:
Arus Flycam Lavellan POV of the True - Best ending
youtube
#Youtube#Solas#Solavellan#dragon age solas#solas dragon age#solas dread wolf#solas x inquisitor#lavellan#solas x female lavellan#Solavellan heaven
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Aaahhh everyone, check out Navinaâs dramatic reading!! Thank you again for reading this and sharing your brainrot with me (´ďźĎďź`)
âËâąŕŹ Requiem for the Damned ŕŹâąËâ
*holds head in hands* Idk why Dottore keeps haunting me with writing inspo. And for this idea to manifest just before Holy WeekâŚ.fuck it, I hope you all enjoy the blasphemous tale of Priest! Dottore x Demon! Darling _:(´ŕ˝`ă â ):
Tw:: yandere, violence, death, religious abuse, dubcon, mention of nsfw, MINORS DNI
Note:: fictional depictions of religion
⥠2.7k words under the cut âĄ
⥠Despite your status as a wandering demon, you have no place in human cognizance. Rather, you conceal yourself from mortal eyes in favor of close observations and whispered temptations. Humans, from your perspective, are interesting creaturesâthey are ambitious, easily influenced by spiritual beings, capable of both good and evil.
⥠And what better example than the one who summoned you on a starry night? Such rituals are not uncommon amongst heretics, but most only succeed in invoking the contempt of their fellow humans. And few would invoke your name, much less commit sacrilege within the walls of the Church.
⥠You sense danger immediately upon your appearance. Within the summoning circle, you take note of your sigil perfectly illustrated in blood against marble. Beyond it, what alarms you is not your sacred surroundings nor the fresh corpse mixed with your offerings of books and fruit. It is the figure standing over you, cloaked in moonlight, gazing at you with eyes the color of hellfire.
âMy ritual is a success. Welcome to my humble church, o noble demonâŚor would you rather be addressed by your epithet? ______, Fallen Seraph, the Seeker of Forbidden Knowledge.â
⥠A glimpse into his soul is all it takes to strike fear into your heart. Within Hell, there are rumors of a small village in Sumeru. Its people are nothing of note, a congregation of simpletons whose lives revolve around the beliefs of their Church. The lone exception is the main priest, Father Zandik, better known as Il Dottore.
⥠The stories, passed through human voices, speak of a child ostracized for his unconventional beliefs and his interest in the macabre. Branded a madman, he was placed in the care of the Church elders who corrected his ways of thinking. Once he became of age, Zandik was given the choice to move out of the rectory or to remain as a priest; he chose the latter of his own volition.
⥠Since his ordination, Zandik has proved himself to be an exceptional priest. He educates the masses, reviews theological texts, performs exorcisms, and provides religious counsel for the doubtful. He even serves as the townâs doctor, fully gaining the acceptance of his community.
⥠The rumors donât stop there. For Il Dottore earned his title by performing miracles. It is he who guides the people into religious ecstasy, he who cures the sick from mysterious curses, he who blesses the weak into âenhanced humans.â There are already whispers that once Dottoreâs mortality catches up with him, he will surely be canonized as the Patron Saint of Doctors and Miracles.
⥠But spiritual beings such as yourself know the truth. That Dottore is neither a kind priest nor a devout believer, that his days in the Church only magnified his heretical inclinations. Disillusioned with God, Zandik decided to turn His religious sanctuary into his own laboratory, one where he could fulfill his lust for knowledge through a mask of holiness.
⥠He manipulates the people with false teachings. He triggers religious ecstasy with drugged incense. He singles out devotees to âtest their faithâ during the quiet hours of the Church. And what the town perceives as curses and miracles are actually scientific experiments in which Dottore plays god.
⥠Itâs too late to escape. No matter your divine powers, nothing prepares you for Dottoreâs traps. The incantations, the barrier of the summoning circle, an aura so holy yet sinister that it couldnât possibly come from ordinary religious objectsâall you can do is fall to your knees and beg for his mercy, all the while he watches you with a confident smile.
⥠His intentions are like that of any human: He summoned you to form a contract. In exchange for his soul, he demands your knowledge, your resources, your full servitude for so long as he roams the mortal plane. Your hesitation only triggers another wave of scorching pain, followed by panic as Dottore grips your horn and forces you to face him.
âMake no mistake, ______. The mere fact of your divinity does not make you indestructible. In exchange for your cooperation, you will bear witness to experiments of the same magnitude as Godâs creations. What say you?â
⥠You have no other choice. And that is how, in the sanctity of the Church, you make a deal with the human named Zandik. Once the pact has been forged, Dottore admires the bright sigil on his chest, plucks a few feathers from your wings, and disables the summoning circle so you can leave. Thus begins your personal hell.
⥠It is easy for you to answer Dottoreâs questions about the divine. The horror lies in assisting him in experiments, responding to his summons no matter the inconvenience, allowing him to extract your blood, tears, and feathers. No, whatâs most humiliating is when he uses your body for his âresearch,â bending you over the altar and bringing you to physical ecstasy against your will.
⥠At this point, you donât know who to pray to. One night, Dottore shows you a secret room in his laboratory. As soon as he lights the lamps, your eyes take in numerous bodies and skeletons of a different classification from his usual victims. The extra bones jutting from the scapulas, the amputated wings, the halos pinned to the walls, the holy aura youâd felt from his religious objectsâŚinstantly, Dottoreâs powers make sense.
âThis is my first specimen. She was my guardian angelâŚno, I jest. She was a mere messenger who implored me to repent for my sins. From her words, I deduced it had been within Heavenâs capacity to save me during my youthâand yet God only sent an angel to me after my first act of blasphemy.â
The angelsâŚhow many has he killed? Not even during your fall from Heaven did you feel such primal fear for your life. But you cannot screamâyou have long been trained to resist fight and flight. All you can do is listen to Dottoreâs explanation, watch as he approaches a pure white skeleton and wraps his hands around its fractured hyoid bone.
He gives you a calm smile. âLuckily, her body provided me with indispensable resources for my experiments and my procurement of her brethren. I believe her name was Sohreh.â
⥠Just when you think it canât get any worse, Dottore points at the far corner of the room to reveal a space dedicated to demons. Four dead bodies, their causes of death vividly described. Horns, wings, and other body parts amputated in exchange for lives spared after exorcisms. And when Dottore returns to your side, tracing the wound from where he broke off your horn, you can only tremble and acquiesce to a checkup. It grows back fully by the end of the year.
⥠He has his moments of vulnerability, however. Perhaps it is due to your nature as a demon, a creature which represents evil, that Dottore does not hide his heart from you. Once, after his usual confessionsâhe always makes up trivial sinsâhe remains in the confessionary until his fellow priest has left. Then he goes to the altar and summons you.
⥠What catches you off-guard is not his lack of greetings. Rather, itâs the way he pulls you close to his body, lips ghosting the curve of your ear. There, in the heart of the Church, he whispers to you every sin he has ever committed. Despite his normal tone of voice, his words have never betrayed a language so guiltless, so sincere, so human.
⥠He asks how much of his madness is to blame on the influence of demons, or if he had been born wicked. He asks if humans were truly given the mental faculties to withstand temptation regardless of their circumstances. He asks if the same can be said for spiritual beings, questioning why former angels like you were also created with the capacity to sin. He even asks if praying for a demon can offer them any hope of salvation.
⥠It takes you a while to answer his questions. Itâs just like him to put your emotions in disarray, to make you feel pity for the very cause of your current suffering. Against your nature, you wonder if there is still a chance for Zandik, if he can somehow repent or find a way to save himself from your contract and all of his sins. Even if it is too late, He has always been more forgiving to humans than angels.
٨Ů٨ŮâĄďŽŠŮ¨Ů٨
âDo you know why I became a demon, Zandik?â
Your question is what prompts Zandik to pull away from you, though his touch lingers. His gaze, as always, is unfathomable; you can never discern what hides within those pools of crimson.
âNo, I do not. Few demonological texts allude to your existence, and only the Lesser Key of Deshret cites your previous status as an angel of the highest ranking. I have made theories in relation to your epithets but I respect all possibilities. Now what would you, as the primary source, reveal to me?â
Now it is your turn to confess.
âSeraphim are the closest to God but for that reason, we are the most distant from His creations. Everything we know of the world is derived only from what He tells us, not our own insights. And so I defied His Word and ate the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, committing the same sin which condemned all of humanity.â
The tip of your upper wing brushes against Zandikâs face, while your middle wings encircle his body in a loose hug. As for your lower wingsâŚthey are nothing but twin scars covered in short feathers. After your descent, it seemed like a rational decision to chop them off, broken as they were. It helped that your wings had just outgrown their original purpose.
For once, you barely flinch at the sensation of his touch against your scars. Many times, Zandik has inquired about the loss of your lower wings and even asked if he could have them. They still remain in Hell, tucked away in a corner of your home, eyes forever closed.
It takes a few seconds for him to respond. âDo you ever regret your decision?â
You shrug. âIt was difficult at first, naturally. Many of my eyes were blindedâyes, that is why I rarely open the ones on my wingsâbut those which still function have seen so many wonderful sights up-close. Neither must I cover my face with my remaining wings. And despite being what your kind and my former brethren would dub a monsterâŚIâm happier now.â
âI see, I see.â His curiosity appears far from sated, however, a sentiment you can empathize with. âAs I thought, God is incomprehensible. For Him to deny even His greatest creation of salvationâŚit confirms that there are limits to the forgiveness of that which humans call a âloving god.â Thank you for sharing this knowledge with me.â
And just as quickly as he initiated his confession, Zandik steps out of your grasp and dismisses you. But you make no haste, silently watching him after you âleave.â
His expression is thoughtful. A gloved hand touches his chest, right above your sigil.
Such an interesting creature.
Honestly, you donât know what to make of your feelings for this human. Much as you despise his cruel treatment towards you, he never fails to capture your interest with his experiments and philosophies. Whenever he speaks of God, you wonder if a small part of him still desires to be saved. But that will never be.
Zandik preaches salvation with the knowledge that he will never receive it. For the Church never taught him how to love.
٨Ů٨ŮâĄďŽŠŮ¨Ů٨
⥠Il Dottore never became the Patron Saint of Doctors and Miracles. Neither did he have a funeral mass befitting of a priest, nor a peaceful death from natural causes. Instead, he died young, laicized, once again denounced as a heretic by his community.
⥠You donât know how his crimes were exposed, and why now. Perhaps it is Godâs punishment for him, a blessing for his victims, or both. Either way, Dottore paid for his sins on a sunny day, burned at the stake before a disdainful crowd. Not long after his heart stopped beating, his belongings were thrown into the fireâresearch, tools, anything which carried his memory.
⥠You never left his side. After his last rites, led by an elderly bishop who condemned Zandik as he did in the past, you sat next to him and offered a final conversation. He didnât express any fear nor sadness in regards to his imminent death, merely stating it a pity that his achievements could never be appreciated in his town.
⥠âŚHe did ask if there is any chance of meeting again in Hell, but you reminded him that the punishment of sinners is out of your jurisdiction. Plus, itâs better that wayâyou have no desire to avenge yourself, and youâd rather not witness Zandikâs suffering for all eternity. You can only imagine the severity of his punishment, what more if he is assigned to one of the demons he exorcized.
⥠During his execution, you stood at the front of the crowd. You kept your eyes trained on him, for so long as his scarlet orbs remained open, whispering the prayers for the dead on his behalf. While a part of you felt liberated, another was mournful. You hope your last words to Zandik gave him solace in his final moments.
âRest now, Zandik. God may never forgive your sins, but I shall.â
⥠And thus ends the life of Il Dottore. In the following days, the Church is purged of its holy, sinister aura, mainly because they discarded the religious objects tainted with angel remains. You continue your usual obligations as a wandering demon, but the humans you observe pale in comparison to your companion of many years.
⥠Not long after, you return to Hell for your other divine duties. As soon as you appear in your abode, however, something feels off. The sinister aura, the offering of books and fruit, your lower wings gone from their original place⌠The answer comes in the form of a hand grabbing you by the horn, pulling you backwards, twisting your body to meet a familiar gaze the color of hearth-fire. Only, this time, those eyes are brimming with pure joy, paired with a genuine smile.
⥠Apparently, Dottoreâs soul did end up in Hell but not in the way you expected. In a proud voice, he explains that the Devil gave him a special fate. Whether it was due to vacant positions or everyoneâs fear of the infamous âDemon-Killer,â youâll never know. What Dottore does confirm is that as the demon bound to him via contract, you have to take responsibility and act as his companion in Hell.
âRather than subject me to eternal suffering, the Devil believed that my talents would prove useful for the punishments of my fellow sinners. How wonderful is it for my achievements to be recognized in Hell? âŚOh? I didnât predict such a physical reaction from you. All of your eyes are wide open, and you seem to be on the verge of fainting.â
⥠You donât know if you want to laugh or cry. To think your personal hell has been extended to eternityâare your sins enough to warrant such a fate?! But after confirming your misfortune, all you can do is sigh and tend to Zandik. He looks exactly the same, with the exception of a few burn scars on his body. And judging by the familiar black feathers on his person, he seems eager to discard his former religious attire along with his mask of faith.
⥠And when Zandik unfastens his scorched cassock, he takes your hand and places it on his unburned chest, right above your sigil. It glows vibrantly, brighter than any light you laid eyes on in Heaven. And beneath the flesh, you can feel his heart beating in sync with yours.
âTell me, ______, do I still appear human to you?â
âYou already know my answer to that question. But fine, Iâll admit it: Yes, you always have.â
âĄÂ
Note:: This is a reminder that Church AU is still on my âwill not writeâ list. I only wrote this because I specifically like Priest Dottore x Demon! Darling. Please do not send me any Church AU asks/ requests involving other characters or a Human! Darling for Dottore.
At long last, I am free from PriesttoreâŚthank you to everyone. To my readers, to my fellow Dottore simps, to my mutuals who indulged my tortured DMs after midnight, to the artist whose fan art inspired this idea to begin with. May you all have a lovely dayâ°(*´︜`*)âŻâĄ
Tag a Dottore enjoyer!! @leftdestiny-posts @beloved-blaiddyd @mochinon-yah @diodellet @lcveaesop @oofasleep @bye-bye-sunbird @yandere-romanticaa @boundinparchment @harmonysanreads @teabutmakeitazure @yandere-wishes @yanmaresu @nicebonescomrades @nimandu @lesanyanyas @moarar
#reblog#feedback#navxry#iâm srsly impressed with the voice-acting + editing >:â0#your narration is rlly good!! you know exactly when to switch between serious vs emotional#i love how the tone you use for dottoreâs dialogue!! it strikes me as more calm and intimidating#the way you raised your voice at the line where dottore grips his darlingâs horn!!#fun fact. âthe âwhat say you?â line came from the pale flame artifact set. and iâm always confused by the grammar of that specific line#but after hearing you read it. it makes more sense now xD#the pause before sohrehâs name!! rlly adds to the suspense#the exasperated tone you used in âyes that is why i rarely open the ones on my wingsâ aaahhhh!!#i HEARD the change in your tone at âloving god.â and it fits so well for dottoreâŚ..#âplus. itâs better that wayâ i find this particular line interesting. idk it sounds as though darling is realizing it in that exact moment#âapparently. dottoreâs soul did end up in hellâ another line which stood out to me!! i love how exasperated and animated it becomes#and it works so well given what a âwtf?â moment it is for both darling and the reader xD#the feedback at the endâŚ..awww thank you so much Xâ3#iâm rlly happy that you enjoyed priesttore and chose him for your asmr audio#the time and effort you put into this is unbelievable. and iâm never forgetting this#have i mentioned that itâs my third time listening to it ^o^#snsisnsksisjaa thank you for the bedtime story asmr xD#letâs beat up priesttore together /j
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A Tide of Tender Mercies
summary: oh, no, i think iâm in love with you
warning: SMUT 18+, oral, fingering (alexia receiving), some angst, reader being stubborn af
a/n: thank you to @muffinpink02 for helping navigate the sexy part ! also iâve deffo repeated some bits but i cannot for the life of me be bothered to sort it out
word count: 7k
part 1
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The chalet isâŚwell, perfect. Itâs the kind of perfect that only comes from meticulous planning, obsessive list-making, and a kind of restrained indulgence that most people would never understand. Set high above a tiny Swiss village known for its fondue and twenty-something millionaires, it sits against a backdrop of mountains sharp enough to slice the clouds. The exterior is severe, almost aggressively minimalistic: crisp white stucco, blackened wood shutters, and glass doors that could double as showroom installations. The effect is daunting, beautiful, andâif youâre being honestâa bit over-the-top. You chose it, naturally, because itâs the type of place where âjust a flingâ can occur without a single hint of domesticity.
Inside, everything is pristine, hand-selected, curated to within an inch of its life. You were adamant that the linens be Egyptian cotton, but not the gaudy kind; theyâre 800-thread count, light enough to seem insubstantial but woven to feel solid, unyielding. Theyâre arranged in clinical folds on the bed, starched and pressed in a way that suggests theyâre almost afraid to be touched. Youâll mess them up later, but for now, theyâre an artwork of restraint.
And then there are the wines, selected with the sort of care that would make a sommelier weep. Itâs silly, of courseâAlexia doesnât normally drink during the season, so she will hardly glance at the labels, but youâve assembled an array that hints at depth nonetheless. An entire wall of Swiss Chasselas, a few rare vintages from Bordeaux, and an stupidly expensive pinot noir that tastes like dirt but cost enough to suggest you know what youâre doing. The idea is that if she gives in to something sophisticated, sheâll find it here. If she doesnât, youâll find her something else. Something that says youâve thought of everything. Which, of course, you have.
The whole thing has a sort of perverse charm, really, how every detail has been obsessively pre-arranged to ensure that she knows youâre not in this for anything serious. And yet, here you are, flying her across Europe to the kind of setting people book for anniversaries and life-altering proposals.
Thereâs a sort of humour in it, if youâre willing to look. You even laugh to yourself, laying out the spa towels in the bathroomâtoo thick, too plush, a little too âI love youââknowing full well she wonât notice them. Sheâll think of them as âtowels,â and if she does notice, itâll be because she needs a new one. But thatâs fine. Itâs all part of the performance, all part of the thing youâve constructed around this chalet, around her arrival, around the notion that this isâwhat? Casual? Fun? Whatever word fits it neatly enough to deny what youâre feeling.
And then there are the candles. Oh, God, the candles. You tried to keep them simple, restrained, the kind of scents that evoke a distant memory rather than a specific moment. Sandalwood, bergamot, a flicker of pine; nothing too floral, nothing that says âromance,â but hints of something just familiar enough to feel safe. You even toyed with the idea of an unscented option, just in case the pine felt too⌠suggestive. Itâs ridiculous, but youâve learned to lean into it, to control it, to package it neatly. If itâs planned, then itâs deliberate, and if itâs deliberate, then itâs just for fun.
âWhy all this?â you imagine her saying, eyebrows raised, maybe laughing as she notices the excessive stock of Swiss chocolates in the cabinet. You have them lined up in neat rows, the artisan kindâno corner-shop Toblerone hereâand each one is individually wrapped in foil that gleams in the dim kitchen light. You picture her rolling her eyes at the small mountain of truffle boxes, asking if youâve stocked up for a wedding. And you, of course, would shrug it off, offering some deadpan line about Swiss tourism. Or a joke about Swiss efficiency. Or something suitably bland that keeps the tone right where you want itâon the edge of humour, a step away from real. Youâve prepared for every reaction, really. Which is pointless, because she hasnât even arrived yet.
Itâs the first time sheâs been here. The place is new, purchased after a very well-timed therapy session that conveniently rebranded âself-indulgenceâ as âself-care.â The therapistâs exact words were âIf you want to be your best self, find the spaces that let you breathe.â And you took that literally, flying up here for private viewings until this place caught your eye. Well, maybe not your eye. But it was one of those rare places that looked exactly like the pictures, maybe better, and it had the kind of aesthetic that screams âI need nothing from youâ while begging for a sense of purpose. You bought it almost instantly.
And now, after weeks of fine-tuning, sheâll be here soon. You catch yourself arranging the books on the side table, pausing over which titles to leave outâa mix of philosophy and modern fiction that says âI read but donât take it too seriously.â You laugh to yourself at the pretension of it, yet you leave the carefully selected titles exactly as they are.
Itâs silly, really, because the goal here is detachment, the freedom to keep things light and uncomplicated. You tell yourself that as you straighten the pillows on the sofa for the second time, catching your own eye in the polished mirror that hangs in the foyer.
âYouâre being weird,â you say out loud, imagining her walking in, that quick smile flashing, eyebrows raised in a way that says, âIs this all for me?â You picture her laughing, maybe rolling those pretty green eyes of hers. But you have an answer for that too, prepared in advance, a casual shrug.
âJust a little atmosphere,â youâll say, as if itâs nothing.
You check your watch. Thirty-two minutes until Alexia arrives. Thirty-two minutes to double-check that every single minutely considered, utterly detached detail says, I couldnât care lessâor, more precisely, I care in exactly the right amount of less. Because she needs to know that this is nothing. That this trip to an over-the-top chalet overlooking a town mostly inhabited by 19-year-olds in cashmere is simply an exercise in relaxation, togetherness, a concept youâre fairly sure youâre allergic to.
She doesnât know it yet, but you bought the place partly to show her. Partly to remind her, subtly, that she could disappear tomorrow and youâd still have this. Because thatâs the problem with Alexia, isnât it? Sheâs not really yours. Sheâs something you can enjoy, display even, but never own. The complete opposite of the real estate youâve added to your collection. You stand there, glass in hand, the Lagavulin youâve graciously poured yourself warming your fingers through the crystal, staring out at the Alps with the vague thought that an obscene number of people have had their ashes scattered here, somewhere along this ridgeline. Itâs an unsettling idea you rather enjoy.
She texts, something about a delay on the tarmac, and you stare at the message for a beat too long, analysing the exact wording like youâre looking for hidden subtext. As if there could be subtext in the word âdelayed.â
A casual fling, you remind yourself, should never be complicated by subtext.
To pass the time, you scan the kitchen once again. The coffee is fresh-ground, of course, from a bag that cost as much as an entire yearâs supply from anywhere normal. Itâs pre-portioned in tiny glass canisters your assistant found online that look like vintage apothecary jars. The labels are printed in Helvetica Neue because you once read that itâs a âsubtly superiorâ font. Ridiculous. But also, itâs perfect. Thereâs also a miniature mountain of imported Spanish oranges on the counter, carefully arranged in a hammered copper bowl you donât remember buying. You could make mimosas, you think, if you didnât know sheâll insist on starting with a protein shake instead.
You put a bottle of Alpine mineral water in the fridge just for her, chilled to the exact 4.4°C she prefers. Yes, itâs an oddly specific temperature preference. No, she didnât tell you directly. You overheard her mention it once, offhand, to someone else. Which is exactly why youâre bound to a polite indifference if she asks why itâs there. Itâs simply what the fridge was set to. Nothing personal.
Just the thought of her walking in has you adjusting your posture as if sheâs already watching. Alexia doesnât miss a single detail. Once, she commented on the way you have a tendency to pull your sleeves over your hands. You havenât done it since. Now, you check that every piece of clothing youâve chosen is deliberately, carelessly oversizedâbut only to the point that still reads as flattering.
Then, at last, you hear the crunch of tyres on gravel. You scurry to watch from the window as she steps out of the car you sent, and sheâs immediately caught in that glacial alpine light, her features so stark and defined that itâs almost cinematic. Thereâs a sharp thrillâone you wonât admit to yourselfâin seeing her here, framed against this scene like sheâs the final piece in some high-budget film. The coat sheâs wearing is slightly too large, lending her a relaxed, indifferent air, as if sheâd picked up the first thing she saw on her way out the door. Effortless, in that way that would feel studied on anyone else.
You stand back from the window just before she glances up, retreating into the comfort of shadows. Timing is everything. Youâve thought this through, down to each calculated second. Itâs critical, after all, that she finds you not watching, but instead lingering at a perfect remove, preferably with a slight air of distraction. Youâre aiming for a kind of aloofness, as if her arrival is the least interesting event of the day.
Sheâs about to ring the bell when you move, deliberately slow, to the door, letting it swing open just as she raises her hand. Thereâs a brief, barely perceptible pause as her eyes meet yours, a spark of something unspoken passing between you both before she raises an eyebrow, a look that hovers between amusement and challenge.
âMissed me?â she asks, dryly, though thereâs a glint in her eye that suggests sheâs perfectly aware of what sheâs doing. Sheâs close now, close enough that you can catch the faintest whiff of her perfume, something dark and woody and just the right side of familiar.
You tilt your head, giving her a slow once-over, and shrug. âNot especially,â you say, voice low, careful to keep the tone perfectly flat. But you let your gaze linger just a second too long on her collarbone, barely visible where her coat has slipped slightly, enough to make her catch it, her mouth curling up at the edge. Itâs a deliberate game, one youâve both played a hundred times, each move rehearsed, practised to the point of art.
Sheâs barely through the door when you feel itâthat unmistakable tension, thickening the air between you. Itâs almost tangible, a static hum just beneath the surface of polite conversation, something that pulls at you like gravity. The moment feels precarious, balanced on the edge of something youâre not quite willing to name, because if you wait too long, the feeling will settle into something more familiar. Something too close to comfort, which is the last thing you want.
She doesnât seem to notice it, of course, her mind likely on dinner plans or the slow crawl of the evening. You, however, are already teetering at the edge of patience, every nerve just slightly too aware of her. She walks in, drops her bag by the door with a casual grace that feels almost too natural, like sheâs done this a hundred times, like she could do this forever if you asked her to. And you wonder if youâd even want thatâsomething so predictably domestic, the quiet comfort of a routine. No. You want her in ways that defy that kind of simplicity, in a way that doesnât ask permission.
You watch her from the corner of your eye as she takes in the room. Her eyes linger on the minimal, curated details you agonised over: the leather-bound books you never plan to read, the art on the walls meant to suggest a taste for something more sophisticated than it is. Sheâs oblivious, seemingly caught up in the novelty of the place, and thatâs exactly what you intended. She canât know how meticulously you set the scene, how every pillow and chair is positioned with an almost obsessive precision. All she has to do is be here. Youâll take care of the rest.
Thereâs a slow, unhurried quality to her movements, an ease thatâs infuriating because itâs so at odds with the pulse of urgency rising in you. She wanders over to the fireplace, running her hand along the mantel with a soft, idle curiosity. Her fingers trace over the edge of a photograph you donât remember putting there, something abstract and distant, chosen for the way it says absolutely nothing about you. Itâs maddening, really, the way she lingers in the space, claiming it without meaning to, as if her very presence could overwrite the hours you spent constructing it.
âYouâve really outdone yourself,â she says, her voice light, unaware of the way it cuts through the silence with a sharpness thatâs almost physical. Thereâs a half-smile on her face, something unreadable that you canât quite shake off.
You shrug, adopting an air of disinterest youâve perfected over the years. âThought youâd appreciate the change of sceneryâ
She raises an eyebrow, still oblivious, her focus now on the bust of Venus of Arles by the window. For a second, you want to laugh at the madness of it, how sheâs here, right in front of you, while youâre clawing at the edges of your own restraint.
But sheâs still gazing around, her fingers brushing the edge of a table as if she has all the time in the world. As if she doesnât know what youâre holding back. You take a slow breath, exhale, feel the tension coil tighter inside, and think that if you let this linger for even another second, youâll start to resent the calmness of it, the quiet rhythm that feels too much like waiting. Like settling into something youâre not prepared to face.
âWine?â You ask in a futile attempt to keep things just this side of civilised. The offer hangs in the air, a thin layer of normalcy that feels like it could snap at any moment, but she only nods, glancing over with a slight smile, one corner of her mouth lifting in that way thatâs halfway between polite interest and something more.
âSure,â she says, her voice smooth, without a hint of awareness. âYou pickâ
You turn to the wine rack with an exaggerated casualness, scanning bottles you chose with this exact moment in mind. You could explain the notes of every vintage, how each one was picked not because it pairs with any particular foodâbecause letâs face it, dinnerâs not exactly on your mindâbut because it suggests a kind of sophistication, a subtlety. You choose a bottle of red, something full-bodied and just slightly bitter, almost as if in silent commentary on the situation. You pour, slowly, setting the glass down in front of her with a kind of precision thatâs both reverent and clinical. She reaches for it, her fingers grazing the stem, the gesture infuriatingly graceful.
The first sip seems to surprise her. âGood choice,â she murmurs, eyes meeting yours over the rim of the glass.
The silence stretches on just a moment too long, the air thick with something that isnât quite tension, more like a coiled spring just waiting for one of you to press down. You feel it building as she shifts, glancing around the room, and suddenly, you realise sheâs working up to something. Thereâs a certain deliberateness in the way she moves, a careful consideration in her stare, and you knowâknowâshe didnât come all this way just to admire the decor.
âLook,â she starts, her voice softer than usual, carrying a weight that tells you sheâs not talking about the view. âIâve been thinkingââ
But you canâtâwonâtâlet her finish. Not when you know exactly what sheâs about to say. You cut her off, leaning forward, your tone light, easy, deliberately dismissive. âPlease donât tell me you came all the way here just to talk, Alexiaâ
She freezes, mid-sentence, and thereâs a flash of something in her eyes, a blend of surprise andâannoyance, maybe? But she masks it quickly, her lips pressing into a tight line. âI thought youâd appreciate me being⌠honest,â she says slowly, as though testing the waters, watching you carefully.
âHonest? Thatâs what weâre calling it?â You let a smirk tug at the corner of your mouth, a practiced expression, something designed to be just detached enough to hold everything at armâs length. âCome on, weâre better than that, arenât we?â
She raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by your deflection, but thereâs still a hint of amusement in her eyes. âBetter than what? Talking?â
Talking. The word hangs in the air, innocent, innocuous, yet loaded in a way that feels heavier than it has any right to. You shift, taking another sip of wine, letting the liquid burn down, hoping itâll smother the way her eyes feel like they're peeling away all your practiced layers. Itâs one thing to enjoy someoneâs company, but the feeling creeping in now is something else, something youâre not used to. It feels inconvenient. Like an itch you canât reach.
You try to fire back, something witty, something cool, but the words catch in your throat, your mind scraping empty. Itâs frustrating, the way sheâs caught you off guard, how sheâs unraveled your carefully crafted reserve without even trying. You reach for your glass again, swirling the wine, stalling for time, anything to avoid that knowing look in her eyes.
But then it dawns on you, like a spark catching flameâthereâs still one thing left to do to regain control. Something you can do that would put you back in charge, bring this uncomfortable vulnerability back into something physical, where you excel. You set your glass down, slowly, purposefully, letting the silence stretch taut between you both.
She watches you with that smirk, that trace of challenge, as if daring you to break this moment of stillness.
âCome here,â you say, low and steady, injecting just enough command to leave no room for debate.
âNoâ
She says it so simply, so carelessly, that for a moment youâre almost convinced you misheard her. Itâs infuriating, really, that one little word has the power to throw you so entirely. Your pulse stumbles, and you feel the ground slipping from under you, just enough to catch you off guard.
âAlexia.â You give her a look thatâs intended to be definitive, final, but it lands with all the power of a weak threat. Her smirk widens into a full, infuriating smile, the one that says sheâs entirely aware of the effect sheâs having on you.
âJust hear me out,â she says, with a kind of softness thatâs more unnerving than youâd like. âYouâre doing that thing. The thing where you turn everything intoââ She pauses, gesturing vaguely with her hand, searching for the right word, ââinto some kind of performanceâ
Itâs an odd, unnerving feeling, this loss of footing. Normally, youâd have a witty reply ready, something cutting or clever, but instead, you feel like sheâs stripped you bare, left you standing there with nothing but honesty, and you hate it.
âSo now youâre the expert?â you reply, finally finding your voice, though it sounds sharper than you meant. âSince when do youââ
âSince I started actually falling for you,â she says, cutting you off, her voice low but clear. Itâs not even particularly dramatic, the way she says it, and somehow thatâs worse. Like sheâs not trying to turn it into anything, not expecting any kind of reactionâjust stating it as a fact.
You feel a flush rise to your face, and you mask it with another sip of wine, a hasty attempt to cover up the sudden jolt in your chest. She waits, just watches you with that maddening calm, as if giving you all the time in the world to come up with some kind of response.
The air between you feels thick, heavy with something unsaid and unfamiliar. You feel the urge to laugh, to make light of it, anything to disperse this feeling building between you, something dangerously close to vulnerability.
âYou donât have to make this into⌠whatever this is,â you say, gesturing between you. âLetâs not get sentimentalâ
âIâm not,â she says, crossing her arms, looking impossibly patient. âI told you Iâm just trying to be honest. I thought that was allowedâ
âHonest,â you repeat, as though the word itself is foreign. And maybe it is. Honesty has never been the thing you reach for. Honesty is for people who can afford to look foolish, who donât mind slipping, stumbling a little. Honesty is⌠unnecessary. And maybe thatâs exactly why itâs got you so rattled now.
You set your glass down, more forcefully than intended, and close the distance between you with a deliberate slowness, a silence that says everything you arenât willing to say out loud. She watches you, unmoving, waiting, that infuriating patience of hers still intact.
âFine,â you murmur, leaning in close, your voice barely above a whisper. âIf youre falling for me, fucking show meâ
Her lips quirk in the barest hint of a smile, a flicker of amusement mixed with something warmer, something that makes you feel like youâre the one being dissected here. Itâs maddening, really, how effortlessly she manages to get under your skin, slip past all those careful layers. And yet youâre already reaching for her, pulling her closer, desperate to change the pace, to turn this moment into something you can control.
Thereâs a split second where neither of you move, holding the charged silence like it might be the only thread of control left. And then it snaps. You reach for her, not gently, fingers curling around her wrist with enough force that she has no choice but to be pulled in. Her smirk flickers, only slightly, and thereâs something about the momentary surprise in her eyes that makes your grip tighten further, anchoring yourself as much as her. Itâs a flash of vulnerability that vanishes as quickly as it appears, leaving behind nothing but a thin layer of bravado, one youâre keen to shatter.
You pull her toward you, and the air shifts, that faint hint of uncertainty cracking into something far messier. Your hand finds its way to the back of her neck, fingers threading into her hair with a kind of reckless precision, not even aware of how tightly youâre holding on. You donât waste time; youâre not even sure thereâs time to waste. And as soon as you lean in, catching her mouth with a kiss thatâs anything but tentative, you feel her resistance melt, her lips parting under yours with a roughness thatâs almost defiant.
She meets you with equal force, as if each clash of mouths, each bruising press of skin, is a way to gain back her own control, and you revel in it, the give-and-take that feels as calculated as it is chaotic. Your hand slips to her jaw, holding her there, your thumb brushing over the corner of her mouth with a kind of ferocity that toes the line between possessive and desperate. You know itâs not going to be gentle; thereâs a part of you that doesnât want it to be.
Youâre moving backwards, feeling the edge of the marble island press into your spine, but it doesnât matter. Sheâs everywhere, her hands gripping the fabric of your shirt, blunt nails scraping against your skin as if sheâs staking a claim, as if sheâs finally caught on to the pace youâve been trying to set and decided to match it.
âIs this what you wanted?â Her words slip out like a slow, deliberate knife cutting through the air between you. The tone, sharp, unfamiliar, though has been the soundtrack to your late-night thoughts. Itâs almost as if she knows, like sheâs caught you in the act of something thatâs always been just below the surface. Her breath comes in shallow gasps, eyes darting between your face and the space between you two, as if trying to read the faintest tremor in your expression. Itâs always a game with her, always a step too far.
Yes.
âNo,â you manage, your voice betraying youâcracked, thin, like a lie too rehearsed. The words come out wrong, but they come out anyway, forced through a tightening chest.
The moment stretches, each second fracturing, bending and folding into itself. Itâs like trying to hold a conversation with a shadowâeverything slips just out of reach, and the harder you try to grasp it, the more it seems to twist away, leaving nothing but the sensation of your own breath hitching in your throat. You fucking hate this. You hate the way her fingers curl in the fabric of your shirt, as if trying to remind you of your place, of the expectations that have always followed you both like a silent, mocking echo.
No, you donât hate her.
Fuck. You love her.
The thought is an ugly, dissonant thing, a weight that doesnât settle easily, like a slow-moving tide pulling you under. The waterâs cold. You canât feel the bottom. You donât know which way is up, and the only thing you do know is that, somewhere along the line, youâve let yourself drown.
Your pulse is almost deafening in your ears, hammering in time with your desperate need for air. Thereâs something about the way she stands before youâstill and deliberate, eyes trained on yoursâthat makes the room feel smaller, closer. You think you can hear her thoughts. Feel them. Itâs maddening, how much she seems to know you, how sheâs always known the way you bend. How much sheâs learned to manipulate that bend, until you almost forget what itâs like to be anything but this: a response.
You swallow. The taste of her is lingering on your lips, sweet and bitter all at once, like a bad memory. How many times has this happened? You donât know anymore. The last time feels as far away as the first timeâwhen she leaned in, the weight of her body an invisible promise. But tonight, thereâs something different. Itâs in the way she watches you, cold, calculating, her fingers still gripping the edges of your shirt, the only real connection between you two in the moment.
She inhales slowly, the rhythm deliberate, like sheâs listening to a song you canât hear. The silence is suffocating.
âYouâre lying,â she says, low and accusing, with just enough venom to make you flinch. Thereâs a tiny smile that tugs at the corner of her mouth, something fleeting, something knowing. You want to reach out, to take her in your hands and pull her close, but the distance between you both feels like a universe. The space feels like a reflection of everything thatâs wrong with you: the empty conversations, the meaningless gestures, the ache thatâs always there, just beneath the skin. Itâs maddening, this tension.
And yetâŚ
You want her. Fuck, you need her. You donât know if itâs because you love her or because she knows how to make you feel more alive than anything else. Sheâs become your addiction, your fire, the only thing you canât quit.
Another shift in the air. Another breath from her, shallow and calculated. Itâs not a question anymore, not a challengeâitâs an affirmation. She knows, and you know, too.
You close your eyes for a moment, just long enough to lose yourself in the fleeting memory of something that almost felt like peace. The sound of her voice, the taste of her, the way she touched you. Itâs all a blur, a disjointed collection of moments tied together by one inescapable truth: youâll never be able to walk away.
Not this time.
When your eyes open again, sheâs still standing there, eyes not leaving yours, studying you. Everything feels slowed down, almost too slow. Like time is bending around her, twisting the seconds into something thick, sticky. Her gaze doesnât soften, but it holds you in place, an anchor, a force. The room is silent except for the faint hum of the refrigerator in the background, the dull tap of your own pulse in your ears.
You donât speak. Not yet. You donât need to.
Her fingers slide along your chest, trailing down in that same slow, infuriating pace, until they settle on the edge of your shirt again, the same place they started. She doesnât look away, her lips curving upward in a smile that doesnât reach her eyes.
Itâs like sheâs trying to decide whether you want to hurt her or fuck her. And the problem is, youâre not sure you can tell the difference anymore.
Your hands curl into fists at your sides, nails digging into your palms like that might keep you steady, like that might stop you from doing the one thing you swore you wouldnât.
Loving something. Someone. Loving Alexia.
âWhat are you so afraid of?â she murmurs, her voice low, almost gentle, and itâs the softness of it that makes you unravel completely.
You donât thinkâyou canât. One second youâre standing there trying to convince yourself you still have your palms wrapped around this situation, and the next theyâre on her, pulling her in with a force thatâs almost cruel. Your mouth finds hers, hard and unrelenting, and she gasps into the kiss, her fingers clutching at your shirt, wrinkling the silk, as if you might disappear if she doesnât hold on.
She tastes like spearmint gum and coffee. You imagine her shivering as she steps off the plane, teeth chattering in the wind, and too polite to mention it. But your driver notices, you pay him to notice, so before her luggage is out of the cargo, a cafĂŠ con leche is being pressed into her gloved hands.
Itâs not a kiss. Not really. Itâs a collision, hard and unrelenting, her mouth crashing into yours with a force that feels like defiance, like sheâs daring you to stop pretending. To stop holding yourself together so tightly youâre liable to snap.
Your hands are already on her, pulling her close, so close it feels claustrophobic, but you canât stop. You canât make yourself pull away because then youâd have to look at her, really look at her, and confront the unbearable softness in her eyes. Youâd have to hear her voice again, saying the one thing youâve been trying to ignore since she first murmured it like a needle under your skin:
âWhat are you so afraid of?â
What youâre afraid of is this. Her. The way sheâs stripped you bare with no effort at all, no grand gestures or declarations. Sheâs unravelling you with the weight of her presence, with the simple fact of her being, and you hate it almost as much as you crave it.
Your teeth scrape against her lower lip, harder than you mean to, and she gasps, but she doesnât pull away. Her nails dig into your shoulders, gripping onto you while you take your rightful place at the helm of this godforsaken dance.
And sheâs letting you. Letting you press her against the edge of the table, her legs bumping into the thick, varnished oak. The table was handmade by some artisan you donât remember the name of, its surface polished to a high gloss that reflects the warm light overhead. Youâd spent weeks agonising over the purchase, debating wood grains and finishes with a level of scrutiny that felt absurd even at the time. Itâs the kind of thing people like you do when theyâre too scared to focus on what matters.
But now itâs just a table. A thing in the way, a thing thatâs caught between you and her.
Her jeans catch on the wood as you push her back, and the sound is sharp, cutting through the fog in your head. You hesitate for half a second, your hands hovering at her hips, fingers brushing the cool metal of her belt buckle.
âYouâre thinking too much,â she says, her voice low and breathless. Itâs not a reproachâitâs almost amused, like she knows exactly whatâs going on in your head, and itâs ridiculous to her that youâre trying to wrestle this into something itâs not.
âIâm not thinking at all,â you say, and itâs true. Or itâs a lie. You donât know anymore, and you donât care.
The belt comes undone with a soft clink, the leather sliding through the loops of her jeans in one smooth motion. You let it fall to the floor, the sound of it hitting the tile lost beneath the ragged breaths youâre both taking. Your hands are shaking slightly as you undo the button on her jeans, the metal cold against your fingertips.
She doesnât help you. Doesnât lift her hips, doesnât make it easier. She just watches you, her gaze steady and unwavering, like sheâs daring you to keep going.
And you do.
You yank the denim down her thighs, your movements jerky, almost frantic, and itâs not until the fabric crumples on the floor that you realise your hands are still trembling. She notices too, her lips twitching into that infuriating half-smile, the one that makes your stomach twist into knots.
âWhat are you doing?â she asks, her voice soft but edged with something sharper, something that cuts right through you.
âI donât know,â you admit, and the honesty of it feels like a blow to the chest.
âDonât stop,â she whispers, and the words make something inside you snap.
You hook your fingers into the waistband of her underwear, dragging them down her thighs in one swift, unceremonious motion. The damp lace clings for a moment before it slides free, pooling at her knees before hitting the floor. You donât stop to think. Thereâs no room for hesitation here, no space for the doubt thatâs been clawing at you since this started.
Her scent hits you first, heady and intoxicating, and for a moment you freeze, overwhelmed by the sheer weight of it. But then she movesâjust slightly, her hips tilting forward in an unspoken pleaâand itâs all the permission you need.
You press your mouth to her, your tongue sliding through her folds with a slow, deliberate pressure that pulls a broken sound from her throat. Her taste is sharp, almost sweet, and it floods your senses in a way that makes you dizzy. Her thighs close around your head instinctively, caging you in, and you let out a low, involuntary groan against her skin.
âFuckââ Her voice is high and breathy, her fingers digging into your scalp now, hard enough to sting. âDonât stop. Donâtââ
You donât. You press deeper, your tongue finding the sensitive bundle of nerves at her centre and circling it with a precision you didnât know you had. She jerks against you, her body arching off the table, and you use the opportunity to slide your hands up her thighs, holding her steady.
The table creaks beneath her, the sound of the wood groaning under her weight mixing with the wet, obscene noises of your mouth against her. Itâs filthy and raw, every sense overwhelmed, and youâre not sure if youâre doing this to prove a point or because you canât bear to stop. Maybe itâs both.
Her head tilts back, exposing the long, elegant line of her throat, and you want to mark it, to leave evidence of this all over her skin, but you canât pull away. Not when sheâs gasping your name, her voice breaking like she canât quite believe whatâs happening.
You slide a finger into her, slow at first, just enough to make her hips stutter against your mouth. Sheâs tight, impossibly so, and you feel her clench around you as you add a second finger, curling them just right. Her moan is loud, sharp, and it sends a bolt of heat straight through you.
âGod, youââ She doesnât finish the sentence, doesnât seem capable of forming words anymore, and it sends a twisted sense of satisfaction through you. You focus on her clit again, your tongue moving in quick, precise circles as your fingers work her open, the slick heat of her making it almost too easy.
Her legs tremble around you, and you can feel her getting closer, her breathing turning shallow and erratic. You donât let up, donât give her a second to recover, pressing her higher and higher until she breaks with a cry that sounds like your name.
Her whole body shudders, her thighs clamping tight around your head as she rides out her orgasm, and you keep going, drawing it out as long as you can until sheâs pushing weakly at your shoulders.
âEnough,â she gasps, her voice wrecked, and you finally pull back, your lips and chin wet with her.
You look up at her, and sheâs a messâher hair sticking to her damp forehead, her chest heaving with every ragged breath. Her eyes meet yours, dark and unreadable, and for a moment neither of you says anything.
Then, slowly, she reaches for you, her hands shaking as she grabs at your jumper and pulls you up to meet her. Her kiss is rough and desperate, her teeth catching on your lower lip, and you realise sheâs not done.
Her hands donât go for your own clothes like youâd expected. Instead, they move to your thighs, her grip firm and commanding, and before you can comprehend whatâs happening, sheâs lifting you. The sudden change knocks the air out of your lungs, and you gasp, your legs instinctively wrapping around her waist, locking you against her. The motion is seamless, like sheâs done this beforeâor like sheâs always known she could.
You try to tell yourself you hate how easy it feels, but you donât. You canât.
Your hands find her shoulders, her jaw, her hairâanything to ground yourself, but nothing works. Youâre still dizzy, still untethered, even as her lips crash against yours. Thereâs nothing gentle about it, nothing controlled. Her teeth scrape your bottom lip, her tongue pushes into your mouth like sheâs trying to devour you, and you let her because for once you donât want to think about what comes next.
Sheâs walking, you realise belatedly, the steady rhythm of her steps making your body rock against hers. Itâs disorienting, the way she carries you so easily, like your weight is nothing, like youâre the fragile thing here.
You kiss her harder to prove youâre not, nipping at her lip until she growls low in her throat, a sound that vibrates through you and pulls a small, involuntary moan from your lips. Her hands tighten on you, her fingers digging into the soft flesh of your thighs, and it sends a sharp thrill up your spine.
The hallway blurs around you, the world narrowing until itâs just herâher mouth on yours, her hands gripping you like sheâll never let go, her body impossibly solid against yours.
When she finally kicks the door open and lays you down on the bed, it feels like surrender. Not hers. Yours.
You donât realise how tightly youâve been clinging to her until she pulls back, your fingers still knotted in the collar of her shirt. The fabric wrinkles between your hands, and for a moment you just stare at each other, the room charged with something you donât have the words to name.
Her eyes are dark, searching, but thereâs no smugness, no trace of victory there. Instead, thereâs something softer, something that makes your chest ache in a way that has nothing to do with lust.
âIâve got you,â she murmurs, her voice low and steady, and it undoes you more than anything else sheâs done tonight.
Itâs too much. The weight of her words, the way she says them like a promise, like she means it. Your chest tightens, and you shake your head, your fingers releasing her collar to press against her shoulders, keeping her at a distance.
But she doesnât let you push her away completely. Her hands slide up your sides, gentle now, her touch a sharp contrast to the bruising grip she had on you moments ago. Sheâs watching you, waiting, like she knows exactly whatâs going through your head.
You hate her for it. You hate her because sheâs right.
âI canâtâŚâ Your voice cracks, barely audible, and you donât even know what youâre trying to say.
She leans in, her forehead resting against yours, her breath warm against your cheek. âYou donât have to,â she says simply, and the honesty in her tone is unbearable.
You want to argue, to fight, to push her away, but your body doesnât move. You just lay there, your chest heaving, your hands trembling against her. You feel like youâre teetering on the edge of something vast and unknowable, and for the first time in a long time, youâre not sure if youâll survive the fall.
Because this isnât about sex anymore.
Itâs about her, and the way she looks at you like youâre something worth holding onto. Itâs about the way your body feels like itâs breaking apart under the weight of it, like youâre finally being seen for what you areâwhat youâve always been.
A liar. A coward. Someone too afraid to let go, too afraid to feel, too afraid to love.
Her lips brush yours again, soft this time, barely there, and you let out a shaky breath. Itâs not enough to drown in. Not yet. But itâs close.
âLet me in,â she whispers, and itâs not a command. Itâs an offering.
You close your eyes, and for the first time, you donât resist.
#alexia putellas#alexia putellas x reader#fcb femeni#fcb femeni x reader#espwnt#espwnt x reader#woso#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso community
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hellooo, i hope youâre doing well! would you want to write a fic where at some point aaron steals readers gum out of her mouth? this is such a random thought and iâm so sorry if this sounds weird (now that iâve written it down and not only thought about it, it seems very weird, sorry!!!!!!), but i kind of feel like this is something heâd do when making out lol and it obviously catches her off guard the first time he does it đ
according to plan
omg i'm putting a jealous!aaron take on this đ¤ cw; suggestiveness, established relationship, bau!reader, detective being a creep, heavy on the kissing, possessive/jealous!aaron đŚ
aaron's just about had it.
it started out as lingering stares, beginning at your face before sweeping all along your form. next, the insistent eagerness to partner up with you. and now the detective, who's name wasn't worth remembering, was at your backside, itching to get as close to you as he possibly could. any closer, he would have you pressed against the bulletin board in front of the two of you.
you were politely trying to explain the physical, common characteristics between the victims, how unsubs sometimes had a specific type and that's why they chose to acquire them. naturally he had asked you the most stupid, simplest question; just another excuse to speak to you.
all day, aaron had been silently seething, a mere bystander. but as he joined and saw the sight before him, his fists clenched so tightly his fingernails were digging into the palms of his hands. enough was enough.
"do you understand now?" you naively asked, a pleased expression forming on your face when the detective nodded in confirmation. unlike aaron, you had been unaware of his ongoing actions.
"is there any way i can repay you?" he questioned smoothly, his eyes yet again dropping. this time, the attentiveness is drawn to your lips.
"no," you shake your head, your focus already directed on readjusting one of the displayed photos, the gum in your mouth producing a pop. "i'm just glad i could be of some assistance."
it's a bad habit of yours, snapping your gum too loudly. it's hard to not notice it. but fortunately, the brought focus is about to work completely in aaron's favor.
aaron calls your name, tipping his head to the side as a signal for you to come. you abide, leaving the detective right where he is and as a result, he subtly glares at aaron for interrupting his time with you and his advances. aaron steps aside to let you pass, and as soon as you do, he shoots daggers right back.
truthfully, he's extremely lucky that's all aaron did.
you follow him to one of the empty interrogation rooms, a small trek away from everyone else. once inside, aaron swiftly shuts the door behind you.
"what's-"
aaron's lips are on yours before you can finish your sentence, causing you to gasp slightly in surprise, throwing your arms around his neck and instantly kissing him back.
it's all too easy to submit to aaron, allowing him to guide you and push you back against the door. he crowds you against it, his breath hot and heavy in your mouth, his hands exploring every curve of your body and more. every inch of you, is consumed by him.
the kiss is heated, desperate, and in the back of your mind, you distantly wonder why the suddenness - what has gotten into him? but with the pure vigor he's kissing you with, your brain had gone fuzzy; you were too consumed by the kiss to dwell on the potential reason why, or did you care.
aaron's large hands slide down your back, landing on and promptly squeezing your ass - hard. you gasp again, and aaron uses the sudden part of your lips to push his tongue into your mouth, sliding against your own. he can taste it - the flavor of your gum - and it only encourages him further, deepening the kiss.
you can't help let out a small moan, which aaron immediately swallows up from you, mindful of your volume within the current setting. your fingers find the nape of his neck, weaving and gripping onto his hair tight.
the kiss itself is wet and sloppy - all according to plan. and once the mint flavor fully invades his mouth, aaron forces himself to pull away.
and before it becomes impossible not to.
your eyes are wide as you look up at him. your cheeks are flushed, lips swollen from the intensity of the kiss. you let out a breathless laugh, chest heaving up and down. "wow. i..."
you trail off, your tone leading into more or less a question. aaron leans in once more, pressing a gentle, chaste kiss to your lips this time. "just missed you."
you take instant note of the slight, new shift of his jaw, which prompts you to realize something from your mouth is missing.
you gape at him, jaw dropping a bit in astonishment. "wait, did you take my gum?"
aaron's way of a response is opening the door, a small nudge of his head gesturing for you to exit. "after you."
you give him a confused look, yet your eyes are still dark and lined with arousal, before heading back to the others. a deep exhale leaves you as you walk away, an attempt to cool down before facing anyone else.
this time, when the detective's stare returns to you both, aaron's the one loudly snapping the gum.
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner smut#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds smut#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds drabble#aaron hotchner drabble#criminal minds fanfiction#hotch imagine#criminal minds x you
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caught wearing their clothes ?! (argenti, aventurine, sunday)
a/n : isnât it kinda funny all 3 of them have boss forms? (´-Ď-`) we donât talk abt the way argentis part is the shortest </3
argenti
it was a nice afternoon, perfect for going out with loved ones. though, even with such lovely weather, you felt bored to death waiting for argenti. so naturally, you would search for ways to cure your boredom while waiting for argentiâs return.
thatâs how you got yourself in your current situationâgetting caught wearing a spare set of argentiâs usual armor as he returned.
âyou look absolutely stunning in my outfit, dearest.â his soft voice startled you, causing you to freeze and immediately turn towards him. your face was practically the color of his hair, as you had never meant for him to see you like this.
âa-argenti! back so early?â you let out a nervous laugh, averting your gaze out of the embarrassment you were feeling.
âis something the matter, dearest? why so nervous? afraid I might scold you for wearing my clothes?â your embarrassment and nervousness seems to elicit a hearty chuckle out of him as he takes a few steps closer to you, extending a rose towards you. âif itâs that youâre worried aboutâthen fear notâas I believe your beauty could rival even the goddess idrila no matter what you wear.â argenti smiles as he softly reassured you.
his words only served to make you flush further, his flattering compliments making your heart race faster. ââŚyou really think so?â originally, you were quite worried about what heâd think if he saw you in this state. but with such kind demeanor and reassurance, how could anyone resist having an ego boost?
âof course, there is no need for me to lie to you.â argentiâs smile widens as he decides to insert the rose behind your ear. âthough, I do believe the attire I would love seeing you in the most is attire fit for our wedding one day.â
aventurine
this was your lucky moment! aventurine was currently out attending an ipc meeting, which meant you were left all alone. being left alone gave you many opportunitiesâspecifically an opportunity to borrow his spare clothes and have some fun with it.
as you looked yourself over in the mirror, you had to admit you looked nice in aventurineâs usual clothes. you even chose to take a pair of his glasses and one of his hats to fully immerse yourself in the experience! his outfit was quite flamboyant and was definitely flashy, usually catching the attention of many.
wearing his outfit made some mischievous ideas slowly start to come to life as you made the choice of mocking him in his clothes.
âI always win in my gambles, so naturally Iâll bet my entire bank account! iâm just a stupid, careless, mindless gamblerââ suddenly, you were cut off by the sound of the door opening as aventurine stands there in the doorway, arms crossed with an amused smirk on his lips as he leans against the doorframe.
âhmm⌠so this is how you choose to kill time while iâm away, huh?â aventurine laughs as he approaches you, observing the way you looked in his clothes. âi have to say, you look quite good like this. Iâm surprised youâre bold enough to rock a little window like me, though~â he narrows his eyes, glancing at you playfully as his words made your cheeks flush.
âeven your little impression of me was fun to witness. but, it says a lot about you as a person, doesnât it? if Iâm a stupid, careless, mindless gambler, then what does that make you for being attracted to me?â aventurine teases, making your jaw drop as you find yourself scrambling for a response.
âdonât get ahead of yourself now. iâm certainly not attracted to you.â you retort, despite the fact that the both of you knew very well that your words were a blatant lie.
âoho? is that how it is? then letâs see just how much youâre ânot attracted to meâ once I start doing thisâŚâ aventurineâs chuckle sends a shiver down your spine as he begins to lean closer to your lips, his hand making its way down to your hips.
sunday
you had some time before sunday arrived home, and coincidentally, you spotted spare pairs of sundayâs usual attire as you were searching for something to occupy yourself with.
unfortunately, you werenât a halovian like sunday. so after you had finished putting on his clothes, you had to find a way to improvise when it came to his wings and halo. messily, you began to draw outlines for his wings and halo on some paper. you then colored them in, planning to cut them out and find a way to use them.
just as you were about to tape the paper wings behind your ears, you heard sundayâs voice as he stepped into the house.
you tried to clean everything up and change, but it was too late. you had already been caught.
âah? is this what I think it is? is the love of my life trying to impersonate me?â sunday jokes light-heartedly, his pleasant laugh filling your ears as you look away shyly. âyou even went so far as to make a fake pair of wings and halo⌠youâre very dedicated if I do say so myself.â he smiles softly as he takes a few steps closer to you, humming as he admired you.
âthis was a dumb idea⌠youâre still the one that looks the best when wearing these clothes.â you laugh awkwardly, a sheepish look in your eyes as he admires you. his attention being completely directed on you at a moment like this seemed to be the most embarrassing possible timing.
âno need to be so embarrassed about all of this, my love. I donât mind this at all.â sunday shakes his head, hoping his words will reassure you as he lightly pats your head. âin fact, Iâd say you look just about ready to replace me as the head of the oak family.â he lets out an amused chuckle at the idea, his mind already painting an image of you leading the family like he currently did.
âthen⌠what would I be missing?â a sigh of relief escapes you at his reassurance before you decided to reply with a more light-hearted tone.
âfirstly, youâll need to learn the proper etiquette, my love. mm.. but I suspect with someone as capable as you, it wonât be hard teaching you how to replace me.â sunday gazes at you with a look filled with fondness. âbut at the end of the day, I like you best when youâre being yourself. so there is no need to delve into topics that involve becoming like me or someone else.â
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Round 7 Final thoughts/Analysis
First of all, Blink Gone is a banger but we knew that already.
Second,
Till is and also is not dead. Till was used as a pawn for the segyein for entertainment. Keep in mind this is Season 50. 50 seasons of Alien Stage, and you think they wouldn't go off without a hitch? Till was used to lure Hyuna and Mizi back. Hyuna is worth a lot and Mizi escaped live on stage. Think of the Quarter Quells in The Hunger Games. Do you really think... they wouldn't make Season 50 special? Especially since Luka won S49. It was always rigged in Luka's favor. Or is it? (hey, vsauce here-)
Now. Till was EXTREMELY drugged up. He may have had his fighting spirit back, but he was definitely 'roided up by the aliens for the plan. The Finals were rigged in Luka's favor, it was all rigged in Luka's favor. Those drugs in Tills system, for all we know, can be keeping him alive. There is a good chance they don't want Till dead and that they're only faking his death for the sake of the... "special guests."
It might have been rigged in Luka's favor, but there's a good chance he might not be getting out of this safe, sane, or even alive. He may have captured the hearts of the segyein in Season 49, but he is still a human pet. He is still expendable for the sake of entertainment. None of us character stans, Luka stans, are off the hook. ALNST is not over.
EDIT: I would also like to point out that Luka was probably also on drugs. He was in hysterics pretty much the whole time. Luka is trapped in this cycle and is a pet, just like Till.
As for those "special guests," Mizi and Hyuna: there can be multiple ways this plays out, either Mizi goes against Hyuna, or Hyuna goes against Luka. We already had Mizi v Luka, so they wouldn't do that again.
As for the song itself, I picked up a few lyrics:
Luka: "Before this piercing, radiant moment fades away"
"Piercing, radiant moment" referring to Till and/or Hyuna being injured.
Luka: "Neither today nor tomorrow, exist for me"
"Exist for me" is a reference to Ivan's thought process in why he chose to die in round 6
Till (i think): "Blink and gone, relish the present"
"Relish the present" as in Till needs to live in the moment to survive, rather than to win. He is on adrenaline, drugs, and survival instinct.
Till: "Clear your mind, leave the burdens behind"
A reference to himself that he... basically needs to lock in.
Luka: "The dark crimson air embraces us, lifting our spirits"
Ivan reference, specifically Luka imitating Ivan
Till: "And the fiery thrill blazes out to the sky"
Ivantill meteor shower reference
Now as for the meaning of the song itself, that could be multiple things:
Till realizing too late about Ivan's feelings and that he was wrong about his image of Ivan, "And in a blink, gone."
Till's life, "And in a blink, gone." (which is why i say he's dead and also not dead. He very well could be dead and just be brought back to life like the Sualive and Alivan theories)
Luka's ability to mimic others
Hyunamizi also realizing too late that they might have been set up
I think the flashbacks to round 6 are pretty obvious in what they mean and what was intended for it to mean/symbolize, so I'll spare it.
OH YEAH and speaking of the alivan and sualive theories, those are a LOT MORE LIKELY after this. Because what was the point of Till's death... after round 6? Would they (Vivinos, not the aliens) kill Till off after what happened in round 6? Death is too easy. Death is mercy. Yes I wish mercy upon Till, but there are better ways to show him mercy with what we have without him dying. That being said, if he is actually dead. Like dead, dead, (i will kms) then at least he died where Mizi was the last thing he saw.
Mizi was the last thing he saw.
We might have been wrong about Till only loving the "image" of Mizi, but then again, maybe not. Again, Till immediately lit up at the sight of Mizi, recognizing her instantly. It gave him the motivation to continue, he didn't notice of care how different, traumatized, and worn down she looked. He only saw her. Maybe it wasn't her image he was fond of. Maybe he really did love her. But maybe he was also grasping at straws to survive and continue on. Maybe he thought he had a chance. Cause Mizi was also grasping at straws. As we saw in the flashback with Mizitill, they were definitely friends. Mizi might only see Till as a friend, but now both would only have each other left, plus Hyuna and the resistance. Mizi might not give Till a romantic chance, but they can be there for each other because they both understand what the other went through.
Also Issac and Dewey better pull through I swear to fucking god. WHY WERE THEY NOT THERE. If you saw my bingo card, I marked off Dewssac appearance, I thought I saw them, but I was seeing shit so ignore that.
Personal note: I was really. REALLY overwhelmed leading up to this. I lost a lot of sleep over the past 48 hours due to anxiety over this and I'm glad that it finally happened. I'm a lot better now that my anxiety and nausea is gone and even if I'm extremely... scared... for Till... I'm still hopeful that he's alive, and that sualive and alivan are real. Maybe I am delusional, but I mean, I enjoy the Actor AU a bit too much... so...
That's all, I think. I might have more later after I stew on this a bit more.
@pwippy @starry-skiez @bluemoonscape @ivanttakethis @tsukacchako @shakingparadigm @rosedeleca @crustyfloor @k9punkout @junebluues god i cant think straight im sorry if youre not tagged and wanted to be im like gen tweaking tbh
#alien stage#alnst#luka alnst#luka alien stage#till alnst#till alien stage#alien stage round 7#alnst round 7#round 7 alnst#round 7 alien stage#ivan alien stage#ivan alnst#mizi alien stage#mizi alnst#ivantill#mizitill#hyunamizi#hyuna alnst#hyuna alien stage#dewssac#dewey alnst#issac alnst#alnst analysis#zen's alnst analysis#blink gone
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Love Sweet Love
Hi guys!
Happy Steph's day âĽ
I'm sorry, I haven't posted for a very long time but I'm working on it. I hope you will love this new Chapter of my Steph's series. You don't have to read the first two, but it's a plus I think.
You can find them here : Lightning Love | Struck By Love
Please enjoy âĽ
And Happy Birthday to Steffy âĽ
TW : None
When you come back from the USA, after your injury against Colombia, Steph makes you live in her house. Officially to help you with your injury and because she doesnât have any stairs in her new house. Which is really a good point, because almost all of the other people who could have offered their help actually have stairs in their home.
Steph and you have been friends since you were teenagers, so no one asks any questions when you mention that you are living with Steph for now.
With time, your things found a specific place in Stephâs house, and she even made some more space in her closet for your clothes. Your Tottenham jerseys are washed with her Arsenal ones, you share the vegemite pots that your grandmother sends you and you sometimes wear Stephâs shirt to sleep.
You love the intimacy between you and how everything is so easy with Steph. She is the most easy-going person in the world, and you are falling in love even harder with her every day.
Youâre a little afraid of when it will be time for you to go back to your own apartment. It will probably be soon, because your cast has been removed two weeks ago, and you now have an ankle splint to help you walk. You are supposed to still use your crutches, even if you donât when you are home. You prefer jumping around on one foot.
It drives Steph crazy.
Steph isnât home for two days now, she had a game in Liverpool and left with the Arsenal squad. You werenât able to go to watch her because you had to go to your rehab. So, you went to watch Tottenham playing at home instead, cheering for your teammates. Charli and her fiancĂŠ came with you to walk Calvin those two days and for the others walk you just stayed around Stephâs house or went in the garden with him.
When you come back home after the game, a look at the clock tells you that your girlfriend will be home in one hour.
You are so grateful for Steph, her patience while you were injured and all the little attentions she had for you during this time. So, you decided to thank her with a real good meal tonight, with all the romanticism you have in you.
You set the table with a red tablecloth, a vase with some roses in the middle of the table and some candles. You listened to the florist talking about the number of flowers for the bunch of flowers, not even knowing before that the number had a meaning. Coming back home, you thought a little bit about your ex-girlfriends and wonder what they would think about your behavior.
You kind of explained to Leila what happened with Steph, without giving her the name of your girlfriend. But you needed to explain to her the reality of your feelings and why things didnât work between you two.
For dinner, you chose Stephâs favourite meal, and you ordered the ingredients needed to be delivered to you here. Itâs way easier for you like this, doing your shopping in crutches would have been way too complicated.
Stephâs car wheels squeak on the gravel in front of the house several minutes after. You jump between the fridge and the table with the starters when Steph opens the door.
A cream and red flash passes next to you when Calvin runs to great Steph, making you smile softly. You distinctly hear Steph cooing and greeting Calvin back, before coming in your direction.
âNo! Donât come here! Close your eyes!â
âWhy? What have you done?â
You jump on one foot in her direction, seeing that Steph had in fact closed her eyes. She looks so cute with her low bun, her scarf and her training clothes that you canât help yourself but steal her a kiss.
You feel her smile against your lips and then kiss her cheek when she talks.
âIs it to distract me about the fact that you are walking without your crutches?â
âNoâ you giggle. âCan you walk without opening your eyes please?â
You take her bag from her hand and put your hands on her shoulder to walk easier towards the table. You make her stop and move to be able to watch her reaction.
âOk, now you can open your eyesâ you say when you are in the right place.
You totally ignore the table you settled a little bit before, your eyes only looking at her. Stephâs eyes go wild for a moment while she takes everything in sight. You are suddenly nervous, wondering if itâs maybe too much. Or stupid? You never talked about it finally, but isnât a girl supposed to like being surprised?
Maybe itâs not a good idea finally, after being away Steph maybe just wants to take a shower and go to bed.
âDid you do all of it yourself?â she asks finally, turning to face you.
âYeahâ you nod, fidgeting with your fingers. âI wanted to thank you properly for the way you took so good care of me while I was just like a burden hurt teenager. I am really thankful for you and your patience and your kindnessâ
You are totally rambling now, talking a little too fast and almost breathless. You werenât looking at her while talking, looking at the flowers in the middle of the table. But when you feel her grab your hand, you look at your girlfriend again.
âYou have nothing to thank me for, I did it because I wanted it. Even if you are terrible to look after, you little troublemakerâ
You smile shyly and let yourself relax when she hugs you. You pass your hands around her neck, taking advantage of your position to breathe her scent. You really missed her.
âDo you mind if I go take a shower quickly before we eat, though?â
âNo, itâs a great idea. You stinkâ you smirk.
You giggle when she smacks you behind your head, clinging against her when she pretends to push you away.
âYouâre so meanâ
âYes, but I made dinerâ
She rolls her eyes and smiles before you let her go. She doesnât smell at all, but you totally understand the need to take a shower and refresh herself after a long travel day.
You lean on the furniture behind you, looking at her leaving to go to the bathroom.
âSteph?â you call her just before she closes the door.
âYeah?â
You look at her curious face exceeding the port frame two seconds before smiling softly.
âI really missed youâ
Her eyes go soft, and you would literally die for the smile coming on her face right now. There is a tenderness in her eyes, and you sometimes are still surprised when you realise that it is destined to you.
âI missed you tooâ she says softly. âIâll be quick, okay?â
âYeahâ you smile back.
You look at her going inside the room again, before jumping back towards the kitchen.
âUse your crutches!â you hear her shout from the bathroom.
You roll your eyes again before deciding to oblige and go to look for them. You donât really know where you left them, and you finally spot them next to the door of Stephâs bedroom. Then you go back to the kitchen and start to warm up a little what you will eat after the starters.
A little lost in your thoughts, you donât hear Steph coming back. She takes you by surprise, passing her arms around your waist and kissing your cheek at the same time. You almost jump off your skin, which she seems to find very funny.
âYouâre so annoyingâ you grumble, even if you are smiling.
You just canât resist her laugh.
âIâm sorry. What can I do to help you?â
âJust put your ass on that chair, Catleyâ
âAs you wishâ
You werenât expecting her to take you in her arms, carrying you like a bride, to the table. She then puts you in your chair before sitting in front of you. That wasnât exactly how you were picturing things, but itâs maybe better like this. At least you arenât scowled one more time because of those damn crutches.
You have to admit that you are pretty satisfied about how you were able to cook everything. You like cooking, you sometimes donât have the time or even the energy to do it. But today you really liked cooking for your girlfriend.
After the diner, you went for a quick walk with Calvin and then to the living room. Arsenal men are playing, and it probably will be a good game. You take advantage to snuggle against Steph, happy to find her arms back. She absently strokes your back under your shirt while watching the game, talking sometimes about something that comes into your minds.
âDean wrote to me earlier todayâ Steph says casually.
You feel your heart missing a beat and a strange feeling in the bottom of your stomach. All the fun you had after sharing Calvin's last mischief in the park is now very far away.
âWhat did he want?â
Your tone is flat, probably giving Steph a hint that you may not be handling this information as easily as you should.
âHe wanted to see Calvinâ
You can feel her eyes on you, but you look straight in front of you, looking at the TV screen without really looking at it.
âI thought Calvin was your dog only, not his?â you frown.
âHeâs mine only, but he still wants to see him againâ
You just hum for any answer. You donât believe it for a single second, in your opinion itâs just an excuse to be able to see Steph again. You know that your girlfriend is the one who ended the things between them. Now that some time has passed, maybe he wants to see if they maybe could get closer again.
You donât like the strange feeling, now not only in your stomach, but in all your body. You maybe are with Steph for several weeks even months now, but you still donât take your relationship for granted. You are fully aware that you can lose Steph at any time. Few people know about your relationship after all, it would probably not mean much in the eyes of the world. To yours, however, it would be worse than anything.
On another hand, you canât tell her that you donât want her to see him. You wonât take that right.
You raise your eyes on Steph when she pokes at your ribs, to see that sheâs still looking at you.
âYou know that if I ended things and cancelled my engagement with him, itâs for a good thing, right?â
âOf courseâ you mumble, looking at the screen again.
She already told you that he might have a thing with a girl he was talking to while they were still together. But other than that, you never really asked about him. Steph never mentioned him either, to be fair.
âAre you still talking to him regularly?â you ask finally, raising your eyes on her again.
âNope. It was the first time he wrote to me since Christmas. Youâre the one being friend with your exâ
Sheâs right here. Since the confessions you made to Leila, you and her are friends again. She started throwing teasing comments on your Instagramâs post again and you call each other from time to time.
âIf it bothers youâŚâ you begin while sitting.
âNot at allâ she smiles âIt was just to point out that you are still in contact with one of your exes too. But I trust you.â
âI trust you too. But Leila knows we are together. Your ex doesnât even know that you arenât single anymore.â
âIâll let him know, okay?â
Sheâs looking at you with so much affection that you can only smile back at her. You feel your body relax again and you cuddle closer to her again.
âOkayâ you say, burying your face in her hoodie.
********
Several days later, you are finally able to walk without any crutches, having received the green light from the physio team. You donât feel any discomfort in your foot anymore and itâs a really good point.
In fact, you were even able to train with the rest of the team today and that makes you happier than ever. You probably wonât be able to play that weekend, but itâs obvious that it will be okay for next week.
You are practically hopping when you come home that day, parking your car next to Stephâs one in the driveway. You frown when you see that there is another car too, not recognizing it like Bethâs car or even one of her teammates. In your memories, no one is driving a Skoda.
Like usual, Calvin comes to greet you when you arrive, this time silently stroking himself around your legs. You pet him, before hearing voices coming from the living room.
âI just⌠It doesn't make any sense to me. I thought you were friend with her, nothing elseâ
Dean. What the hell is he doing here? You frown again, taking two steps to be able to hear better what is happening in that living room. None of them heard you coming in.
âNothing ever happened while we were together, Deanâ you hear Steph sigh.
âStill. She just waited for us to be over to shoot her shot?â
âNot at all. She doesnât even say anything, I kind of pushed her to know about her breakup at Emilyâs wedding and⌠Well, you donât have to know everything, but I was the one figuring out alone her feelings for me. Then all clicks and it was like evidenceâ
There is a beam of silence, only broken by Calvin chewing with application one of Deanâs shoes. You let him do it with a cold satisfaction. You donât like the way that man tries to make you pass for the one corrupting Steph in the wrong way.
In contrast, you love the way Steph doesnât share everything with him. It belongs to you and her, not him.
âAnd just for the record, you were the one getting over it very quickly with that girl from your medical teamâ
âIt wasnât serious. She was just a reboundâ
âYou were talking with her when we were still together.â
You can easily picture Steph, her eyebrow arched, and her arms crossed on her chest.
âIt was a mistakeâ he sighs. âI shouldnât have done that. If I knew it would push you to end things between us, I wouldnât even have looked at her.â
âShe wasnât the reason for our breakup. I mean maybe a small part of it, but it wasnât the big deal. What I said at this point was valid and still is. I just donât have any love feeling for you anymoreâ
Must be painful to hear, but at least you have to give credit to Steph for standing her ground and being clear with him. You empathise a little bit with him though, you will be destroyed if Steph ended things between you. Even if you never will talk to someone else like he did.
âOkay but what will you do when you will want to start a family? You wonât even be able to do it togetherâ
Okay, we are now finished with empathy. Maybe now is the best time to make your appearance. You go for the door again, opening it without any discretion.
âLove, I'm home!â you shout happily while almost slamming the door.
You take off your shoes quickly without even untie the laces, petting Calvinâs head.
âLiving roomâ you hear her answer.
Deciding to put it more in the show, you start to talk while you are still outside the room.
âDid you know that Hayl⌠Oh. Hi.â
Dean and Steph are both standing in the room, separated by at least two meters from each other. You look at the both of them, taking the situation. He seems upset and doesnât answer anything, and you drag your gaze away from him when Steph talks.
âHi Sweets. How was training?â
âGreatâ
You smile at her and hesitate to go for her, but when she raises her arm to invite you to hug her, you donât hesitate. You pass your arms around her waist, kissing her cheek softly. You donât want to push things too far either, you know she wonât like it.
You cringe a little at the silence coming after that, exchanging a glance with Steph. You want to know what the hell is this guy doing here, but you donât really know how to ask that question.
âDean informed me that he found some of my things in his boxes and wanted to give them backâ Steph informs you.
You probably will be forever grateful at how much Steph knows you and seems to read into you. You just nod before turning your eyes toward him. He was already looking at you and you know that look perfectly. He seems to be jealous of your proximity, but you wonât move.
Maybe itâs a stupid thing to want to mark territory, but you donât want him to pop randomly at Stephâs door, now that he knows where she lives. Anyway, you donât take your hand off of your girlfriendâs back.
âLucky you were homeâ you finally answer.
âI didnât realise I needed to ask for approval to see my ex-fiancĂŠeâ he growls.
âShe lives here too, actuallyâ Steph intervenes before you even can open your mouth âShe has her words to sayâ
You use your better poker face at this, because you totally arenât living here officially. Now that you are able to walk correctly you could probably go back to your home, but you never really left. Steph never asked you to do and never made you feel like you were too much here.
âI have to goâ Dean finally says. âI have trainingâ
You donât move but Steph nods, saying goodbye too. You canât hide the smile creeping on your face when you hear him grumbling when he finds his chewed shoe, Calvin now sleeping peacefully on his bed next to the couch.
You love that dog.
When the door is closed, you feel Steph take a deep breath and lean a little more against you. You realised how tense she was, but you are surprised by such a relief.
âAre you okay?â you ask quietly, kissing her temple.
âIt was the first time I saw him since I left our homeâ she explains to you. âI told him I was seeing someone without saying your name, but he didnât want to leave before knowing how you are. Iâm sorry, I donât think we will be able to hide our relationship for any longerâ
��Itâs not a problem for meâ you shrug. âPeople have known that I love women since my teenage era. What about you, though?â
âI donât knowâ she begins slowly. âI havenât any problem with Kyra knowing it to be honest. But maybe Iâll need to talk about it to my family firstâ
âOkay. If you need me, just tell me, yeah?â
Stephs smile softly at you, and you kiss her for good this time. The kiss is soft and slow, and you feel her thumb stroking your cheek softly.
âSo, what did Hayley do?â
********
Later that day, you are looking at the ceiling, lost in your thoughts. Even if you tried all the rest of the day to forget about Dean and what he said, some things are dancing in your mind.
Did Steph and him talked about starting a family? And if it was the case, why does it bother you so much? They planned to get married; you shouldnât be so disturbed with that. You know you are lucky to finally be with the girl of your dreams, but that strange feeling in the bottom of your stomach wonât go away.
You tried to distract yourself by cooking with Steph, playing some video games with her and telling her about your first training back since your injury, and it went pretty great to be honest.
But now with Steph under the shower and Calvin sleeping, you are alone with your thoughts.
âI was waiting for you to come with meâ
Stephâs teasing voice makes you smile softly. You turn on your side to look at her when she enters the room, wearing a big shirt and probably panties, even if you canât see them given the size of that shirt.
âYou are the most beautiful girl in the worldâ you mumble.
Your smile grows wider when she rolls her eyes and makes one grimace of her own. You love her with her hair down.
âThatâs true!â
âItâs notâ she giggles while coming with you under the cover.
âYes it isâ
You let her have the time to lie on her back before you lay on her, sighing with ease. Itâs your favourite spot in the world. You enjoy her stroke in your hair while she scrolls on her phone for several minutes, before starting to draw shapes on her hips with your fingertips.
âI can hear your brain boiling, Sweetheartâ Steph finally says. âWhatâs going on?â
You bite your lips softly, looking for a way to approach things. Because she doesnât know that you heard a big part of her conversation with Dean, and you donât want to upset her. Your silence pushes her to try to guess whatâs in your mind.
âIs it football related?â she asks first, and you shake your head no. âIs it about us?â
âKindaâ you hesitate. âI justâŚâ
âIs it about something you heard earlier?â
Damn. You look at her, stunned, torn between guilt and amazement. You can see the ghost of a smile on her face and her eyes shining with fun.
âDo you think I really donât know you?â
You roll your eyes with a smile, accepting the teasing easily. She doesnât seem mad, and she waited for you to show something to talk about it. You really donât deserve that girl.
âI didnât want to intrude. I didnât know it was himâ you shrug.
âI knew it the second you passed the doorâ she smirks, making you smile too. âPlus, I donât have anything to hide from you. What part of the discussion is playing with your head?â
Sitting on her hips, you pass a hand in your hair. You donât know how to express yourself and how to tell her things. Once again, you donât want to fight with her. But you promised each other early in your relationship that you will always discuss and talk about things, not to drag any misunderstandings along.
Steph waits patiently, looking softly at you while playing with the edge of your shirt. You finally decide to go straight to the point, it will be easier like this.
âWhen he talked about having a family. Is it something you discussed together?â
You try hard to fight against the pictures coming in your mind, focusing on your girlfriendâs pretty face.
âNot reallyâ she frowns. âWe were both into sport and I donât think it was time for us to have this conversation. He was very traditional you know, first dating then living together, then engagement⌠One thing at timeâ
It does make sense actually. You nod softly, trying to process this information.
âBut was it something you wanted?â
You watch her looking at you with a little bit of⌠angst maybe? That doesnât seem good and just when you were going to tell her that you finally donât want to know the answer to that question, she starts to talk again.
âNo, not really. Itâs very selfish but I wanted to finish my career before even thinking about itâ
Oh. That wasnât what you were expecting. Itâs probably strange to feel a little relieved about it.
âItâs not selfishâ you assure her with a smile, redrawing the features of her face with your fingers. âWe, women, have to choose between sport or baby. Itâs so stupidâ
She nods softly, suddenly lost in her thoughts. It looks like things were exchanged because several minutes before you were the one thoughtful. Now you feel lighter than ever.
âWhat is it?â you ask, tilting your head on the side.
âWhat about you?â
âI was never serious enough in my relationships to even talk about itâ you roll your eyes.
âThat doesnât mean you donât want to have kid one dayâ
She has a point. You feel your cheek getting redder because to be honest, the idea of you and Steph with a little kiddo running with Calvin in a big garden is something you would love. Maybe even back in Australia, who knows.
âI do want kids, but not carelessly. I want to have time for them, all of thatâŚâ
âOkayâ Steph smiles softly.
âAnd a great mummy to raise them with meâ you add, winking at her.
âOkayâ Steph says again, laughing this time.
âBut not now, thoughâ
âNot nowâ
Steph repeats your sentence before suddenly grabbing you by your hips to change your position, making you lie under her while she straddles you.
âWe have something else to discuss firstâ she says.
âOh, do we?â
âYeah. What do I need to do for you to live officially here? Lose your keys? Burn your house?â
âYou just have to askâ you laugh.
âIn that case⌠Would you like to live here with me?â
âIâd love toâ
She smiles at you with so much tenderness that you feel your heart almost burst with love. Taking her gently by the collar of her shirt, you drag her towards you to kiss her. She doesnât wait any second to kiss you back, making you smile against her lips.
âYouâre such a dorkâ you giggle shortly after.
âYou love me, thoughâ she answers, her head now on your shoulder.
âI do. You donât know yet how much I doâ
âI love you too.â
#woso imagine#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso one shot#steph catley imagine#steph catley x reader#steph catley
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paint them for me?
pairing: park jongseong x reader genre: romance and fluff warnings: nothing besides a kiss! 18+ not proofread lol synopsis: jay watches you fondly do your nails and once you've finished, he asks you to also do his.
hoonieyun notes: some more fluff before the angst begins... hehe!
wc: 1126
one of jayâs favorite things about you was your pure love and enjoyment of getting your nails done. you often got them done by an independent artist but she had moved away and you never found anyone who was just as good and would do your nails the way you liked them.
in comes jay, who convinced you to learn how to do your own nails so that you could not only save money but also do your nails how you want them done. you were hesitant at first because you knew how much skill and patience it took but that was 3 years ago and now youâre practically a professional.Â
youâve been doing your own nails ever since thanks to the encouragement of you boyfriend who surprised you with a nail kit that had everything you needed to do your nails at home and more. he even built you a station in the corner of your bedroom so you could comfortably do your nails. he loved watching you sit down and do your nails because he thought you were so cute as your brows would furrow and how youâd bite your bottom lip as you focused on doing your nails.Â
today, you had found a design on pinterest of some abtract lines and shapes but it was in red and since you had just done a set of red nails, you wanted a different color. you had asked jay what color you should do and after thinking about it briefly, he suggested blue, even going as far as to pick out the specific shade of blue from the various colors of nail polish he bought you.Â
âthis one!â he says, grabbing it from the shelf with a cute smile. you thanked him with a kiss before letting him go back to his own thing. he would often just play his guitar, nap, or scroll on his phone while you did your nails. he liked accompanying you while you did your nails because you were always one to ask him for his advice, âdoes this look good?â or âis this cute, babe?â youâd ask him as if he knew anything about nails but everything you did was cute and so were all of the nails that you did.Â
it takes you about three hours to finish your nails and jay would bring you water or feed you snacks every so often to make sure you werenât getting too tired. you showed them off to him after you had finished and he gently grabbed your hand and observed them, complimenting your nails and placing a kiss on your knuckles.Â
when you begin to put your things away, he clears his throat, gaining your attention. âare you tired?â he asks and you shake your head no. âwhy?â you ask while continuing to clean up your area.Â
âwell.. i was kinda thinking.. can you do my nails? like yours! but not as long hahaâ he says shyly, scratching the back of his neck and placing a hand in his pocket.Â
âreally?â you say ethusiastically. youâve always wanted to match nail designs with your boyfriend but never knew if jay would be interested. you guessed that since you never asked you never wouldâve known so you were ecstatic to see that he was not only down to get matching nails with you but he also asked on his own accord.Â
âyeah, honestly i chose this color because i liked it and wanted us to match the same colors.â he explains as you extend your hand out to him. jay grabs onto it gently as he sits across from you on the other side of your table. âaww, babe youâre so cute.â you say with a chuckle as he smiles at you endearingly. you begin to take out the items you had put away so you could also do jayâs nails.Â
he was very patient with you and was the best client youâve ever had, although he was also the first and probably only client youâll ever have. his nails took less time than your because they were short and didnât need much work, so you were completed in no time. he watched you with hearts in his eyes as you focused on painting his nails. a smile on his lips the whole time. he loved seeing you do things you loved so if it meant getting his nails done too, why not?
âwow, they look sick baby.â he says, looking at his nails up close. âwe match!â he says while flipping his hand over so the back of his hand was directedf towards you, a wide and bready smile on his face. âcan i take a picture?â you ask.Â
âof course, baby.â he says and you take his hand once more and bring him over to the window near your bed for better lighting. you instruct him on how to place his hands after sliding on some of his rings for extra effect. you position your hand next to his as you take the photo, showing him for approval before you post it on your instagram.Â
âtheyâre amazing, baby. thank you, youâre so talented.â he says, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and placing a kiss on your forehead.Â
âitâs nothing, babe. i wouldnât be half the nail artist i am now if you didnât encourage me and buy all this stuff for me.â you say with a slight pout and jay chuckles as he recalls the day he surprised you with all of this. you were beyond shocked and even shed some tears because he had gone the extra mile to do something for you that he definitely didnât need to but because he loved you so much, it wasnât something you ever needed to ask for.Â
ânext time, you should choose the design too!â you say and jay nods. pulling out his phone so he could start looking for matching nails designs the two of you could do. he even adds new items and polishes into an online store so you could have more options and although you tell him what you have now is fine; you were sure that he was going to secretly put in that order anyways.Â
you often spent time learning of jayâs hobbies and interests, getting to know his hometown baseball team and the ways of baseball, the seattle marinerâs, learning basics on the guitar, and his neverending need to try and make new recipes; to which youâd either be his soux chef or taste tester.Â
it was only fair that jay also participated in one of your hobbies. another thing that the two of you could do together and bond over. even if itâs something as simple as getting your nails done.
ᥣâ˘.â˘đŠâĄ @pagemiah @jiiyen @jnysaln @xh01bri @rairaiblog @laurradoesloveu @17ericas @manaah02 @heeseung64 @zorange13 @firstclassjaylee @leipforggy
copyright 2025 - present Š hoonieyun all rights reserved all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned. if you enjoyed reading this please consider reblogging and following <3
#kiki diaries#enhypen#en-diaries#kpop#kpop au#kpop fanfic#kpop fic#kpop fanfiction#enha#fanfiction#enhypen au#enhypen scenarios#enhypen x reader#park jongseong#jay x reader
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ghost character analysis
tw: spoilers from ghost mw2 comics, nsfw, dead dove do not eat, mature content.
this is pretty much a part 2 to ghost headcanons except with more lore and analysis (im still not sure if reboot ghost has the same backstory as the og ghost).
ghost is not a cold, calculated, ruthless man. maybe in a separate au or something, but theres a huge difference between ghost and simon riley. in fact, we need to understand that the reason he even chose ghost as a new name for himself is because of all that's happened to him. his family got killed, he got tortured by roba, and had to eliminate many men on his own. before that he was simon, not ghost. in the comic he literally calls the child hostages he was saving âsweetheartâ and âloveâ. hes not that mean and cold yall
we know that PTSD does shit to it's victims, ghost lost his entire family and had no one. think of it as a coping mechanism to have a new name to be known as.
ghost is a ruthless killer. simon is just some guy.
ghost sets himself to an incredibly high standard of discipline. i think it's intuitive that military boys will need to be punctual and organized to some degree, but ghost takes this to a whole other level. considering his father's abusive behavior (explained by his disturbing statements said to simon, is a drug addict, and beats simons mom) his home life was likely chaotic as a child.
in the mw2: ghost comic (issue #3) it specifically stated the following: "discipline, precision, control. these are what riley built his whole life on. break those down and the dark stuff begins to ooze out..." again, this is probably a form of trauma response to his childhood.
so what does this lead to? well firstly, this probably means his room is incredibly tidy and organized (monotone design i know :,c).
would never in his life touch drugs. this is a promise he made to himself.
also kinda proves that ghost aint a reckless guy. he thinks things through before doing it.
ghost isnât that hypersexual. theres no way of knowing his history with women, but i like to think ghost is not that horny 24/7 and needs a fuckbuddy. in the mw2 comic, he was on a mission and was in an area full of prostitutes (wasnât actively on duty, but on his way) when they tried to hit on him he politely rejects one of them, and later tells them to fuck offđ so yea contrary to popular belief i dont think he really enjoys one night stands or the idea of being entertained by random women. in fact, i hc he might actually be a virgin or just have a really low body count.
ghost is a feminist!đ (misandrist too). ok let me reword that, ghost doesnt like men and respects women. one of the reasons why he doesnât want to be around prostitutes and do one night stands (his father killed a hooker in front of him, very traumatic) is because he thinks the concept of quick, casual sex is not good for society and dilutes the value of meaningful relationships. but also, remember the discipline, precision, control thing? its apart of his principle. but also, in the comic, sparks (soldier he worked with) knocked out and attempted to rape a woman, ghosts literally looked disgusted and called the police (also why heâd never do that himself, i dont get the hcs that say he does). ghosts seen how his dad treated his mom and absolutely hates abusers. anyways onto misandryâi think ghost internally thinks men are violent and disgusting (ghosts would choose the bear over the man, even though hes a man) mainly because throughout his military career majority of the bad stuff hes seen was done by men, so hes much more relaxed in a room of women vs man. ghost thinks his dad is the epitome of pure evil (canon! he said this to his therapist). this doesnât mean hes scared or hates all men tho!
ghost isnât close with tf141⌠including soap. now before you attack me let me explain. sure, he trusts them to some degree, but i dont think they naturally just hangout when theyâre not deployed. in the end we need to understand they are SAS soldiers, they are working a real job that mainly consists of them shooting and dismantling others. considering ghosts betrayal in the past (in the comic, a few soldiers ghost previously worked with killed his entire family đ˘) he isnât gonna just trust his teammates because theyre his teammates. im also pretty sure they all live in different cities while not deployed. tf141 probably all want to separate their job from their personal lives, which includes each other. but onto soap, i dont think him and ghost have a deep brotherly relationship. but i think they care about each other, but exchanging some dad jokes and bantering doesnât mean theyâre suddenly soulmates or brothers. think about it⌠you and youâre co worker joke around sometimes, never hangout outside of work, and now people are shipping you and calling the two of you besties. makes no sense.
ghost is extremely patriotic. in the comic (i reference this way too much but theres SOOO MUCH LORE i recommend reading it) ghost tells his teammates the reason for joining the military: queen and country, right after 9/11. he also said âthe world has changedâ. interestingly enough army enlistment did actually skyrocketed after 9/11 attacks, ghost was among them. he probably thought ww3 was about to happen, or that âtheres no more peaceâ or whatever. i hc being obsessed with soccer too lmao and getting mad if english teams dont win. also his playful banter with johnny âget us a tea?â. probably very proud of his british heritage.
ghost doesnât have much friends. hes a really, reallyyyyy lonely guy. i hc him as an introvert in the first place, but trust issues make this worse. in the comic, he was literally in the newspaper for killing his family and then killing himself (he didnt, he was framed that way tho) so its likely most of his formers friends probably think hes dead. ghost likely got some sort of amnesty or exemption from the military after knowing he didnât actually kill his family, but whats in the news stays true to the public. even if he does have friends he probably doesnât share feelings with them or form a long term bond.
ghost is extremely cynical. this is obvious tbh, but i think ghost believes hes going to die in the middle of a battlefield, shot or stabbed, a painful death, body left to rot for weeks, and no one to remember him. just like that. and he accepts that fact too.
ghost isnât a picky eater. growing up in an abusive household where his parents couldnât hold a stable job, he had to eat what there was. some days he settles for cheap beans and toast and when people call him out for it, he tells em to fuck offđ
ghost is emotionally fucked up, probably kind of depressed. i mean this guys been through hell: got saâd, buried alive, had to dig through underground dirt and worms with a jawbone, tortured in horrible ways, had his entire family killed, abusive dad, and the weight of his grey morales because he killed lots of people as a soldier. wow! would you look at that list, itd be more strange if he wasnât emotionally fucked up after was has happenedđ
. even when tortured, seeing his family dead, ghost was never shown to have cried in the comic. i hc hes emotionally numb. however, i do think hes emotionally MATURE and able to communicate his emotions, but hes still emotionally fucked. for example a scene where he was talking about his experience with roba (guy who tortured ghost) and ghosts father to a therapist. i think ghosts may be traumatized, but this doesnât stop him from attempting to get help and communicating how he feels and thinks about this world.
ghost wears a mask... not because hes insecure and traumatized it's to separate ghost from simon riley. first of all he learned the consequences of revealing your identity during deployment, in the comic, he reveals his face in missions before his family got killed. i think he wears a mask because 1) its practical, no one knows who he is, 2) an analogy for himself to remind him simon riley, his original identity, was dead the moment his family was murdered, this SAS soldier with a skull mask is GHOST (yes this is canon, ghost references in the comic!).
in issue #1 while some kids were being held hostage, he starts telling his life story to them to calm them down/distract them from the bad situation. this is his explanation to why he wears a skull mask, word by word: "I bet you're wondering why I wear these bones on my face. It's a tribute to an old friend of mine. He's dead now, but man if he wasn't the baddest motherfucker on the planet."
in issue #6, when ghost was trekking through a jungle in the middle of nowhere attempting to kill roba (a drug lord that started this all, brainwashed soldiers to kill ghosts family), he was never caught. ghost himself, the narrator, says that "even for a single man to get through the jungle, the patrols, the wall, the security... well that man would have to be a ghost."
however, im still a little confused whether or not reboot ghost and 2009 have the same backstories. reboot ghosts mask is more realistic and his look is much more intimidating, his reason for wearing that kind of mask is probably psychological warfare (getting milena the financier to speak up about makarov). i think 2009 ghosts reason to wearing a mask is more personal compared to reboot.
BUT WHAT ABOUT AN S/O???
i think ghost is the guy to not have one in the first place. obviously. but i lowkey think if he had one and really liked them, he would commit. in fact i find it hard to imagine hes a player or isnât serious about relationships. when his brother tommy got addicted to drugs and fucked up his life, simon quit the military until tommy got 100% better and married. yup. he stayed to help him recover, for years. thats how loving and committed this man isđĽšđĽš.
ghost would not cheat on his s/o. i can't stress how important this hc is, because it's so out of character for him to do so. sure, guys in the military statistically have higher divorce rates, incidences of infidelity, and much more red flag stuff, but knowing what happened to him, he would never do that. doesn't matter how stressed, lonely, sexually frustrated this man is; he would not cheat on his partner. this guy has been through far more stressful situations and got through it, you think hes gonna cheat because hes stressed because of work?
its not sunshine and rainbows or absolute toxicity being with him. it's not really a mix of both either. ghost isn't that princess treatment, super squishy and cuddly, sweet guy who likes fluffy stuff. he definitely isn't the toxic guy who leaves you with mixed signals either.
hes quite the gentleman when it comes to approaching relationships, hes seen how his dad treated his mom, and ghost wants to do the exact opposite. i believe ghost likes to use the traditional courting methods when dating someone: gifting flowers, paying for dates, holding the door open (ladies first typa guy!!), the old fashioned stuff. idk if i should point it out again but this guy DOES NOT FW modern dating practices, he wouldn't download dating apps, or start 'talking stages'. i dont think he would write love letters just because hes not very good at writing poetry or expressing his feelings in the first place.
theres still downsides to being with him. the long distance, the time being apart (months and months). but i dont think he'd go as far as being emotionally avoidant.
also something really random ive noticed is that 2009 and reboot ghost are very different, personality wise. i like to think that 2009 ghost represents simon riley much better, but the reboot ghost actually gives the essence and character of what a 'ghost' in the military is.
more random headcanons:
simon prefers dogs over cats because dogs are loyal and stay with you until the end (stereotypically)
hates snakes and spiders
probably wouldnât do 50/50 on dates, he pays!
avoids saying manchester slang when deployed
drinks and smokes. not always. heâs disciplined but he still does that stuff.. hes a british guy in his 30s whos kinda depressed, grew up with adults around him smoking 24/7, whatd you thinkđđ (its canon that most of tf141 smoke anyway)
listens to 80âs rock music. its canon that his mom enjoys the band siouxsie and the banshees :)), he probs does too
shaves his beard
is actually confident hes not bad looking. dude, hes 6â2, in shape with a jawlineđ
i don't enjoy hcs of ghost being the scariest out of tf141 (appearance wise yes). but soap seems much more scary imo, he was the youngest guy to pass SAS selections in the history of the UK military, and was nicknamed soap because of fast and good he is at cleaning up 'messes' (basically killing people).
id arguably say ghost is the most compassionate out of 141, if we're talking about the OG 2009 one.
#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#ghost#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#call of duty x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley#ghost call of duty#ghost x reader#modern warfare 2#cod mwii#cod modern warfare#call of duty ghosts#cod x reader#ghost headcanons#ghost mw2#ghost x you#ghost x y/n#ghost fanfiction#call of duty modern warfare#kĂśnig#konig#tf 141 x reader#tf 141#john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#character analysis
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Thinking about names having power in the Riordanverse- because itâs exactly the kind of literature motif that I LOVE.
Thinking about âLeoâ being short for âLeonidasâ who was a Spartan King who sacrificed his life fighting to save his people in the Battle of Thermopylae.
Leo, similarly, gave his own life to stop Gaea and save the world.
That comparison has already been made before, but thereâs more-
Leo rejects the name âLeonidasâ and chooses to go by âLeoâ- in a way, rejecting the fate heâs assigned to. And he doesnât suffer that fate in the end. He lives.
Yeah, names have power. But what you choose to name yourself has even more power. For example, the fact that Thalia rejected the last name âGraceâ because it associated her with her mother, but then taking it back up again when she found out Jason was alive. And Leo chose to not go by âLeonidasâ and he also chose to take the physicianâs cure and come back.
And here we get onto what Calypsoâs doing. By calling him something that he asked to not be called, she is taking away that agency of choice. She is taking away that power.
Itâs a small moment, but it REALLY bugs me. Because, like Leo, I go by a shortened version of a longer name, and often one of the ways bullies used to hold power over me was by calling me by my full name repeatedly, even after I asked them to stop. Itâs also a way a lot of transphobes hold power over trans people- by deadnaming. By taking away the power of their name, their choice, their identity, who they are, who theyâve built themselves to be, and their right to control all of that.
Now, Iâm NOT saying Calypso is going as far as deadnaming Leo, but itâs a similar premise. Itâs a manipulation tactic used to knock people down.
Now friendly nicknames -e.g. âSeaweed Brainâ- are different, because Percy consents to it. Itâs a term of affection between them (and notice how itâs different when Thalia used it. Itâs a name that symbolises percabethâs love, and itâs a name only Annabeth can use). But this is a name, while said in a jokey, banter-y manner, that Leo has SPECIFICALLY ASKED to not be called. And she does it anyway, ignoring the boundary heâs set, ignoring his choice to shape his own identity, ignoring everything that symbolised INCLUDING the fact that itâs literally Leo saying âI choose lifeâ by rejecting the name that fated him to death. Itâs just a big red flag for me. And if you put that on top of the fact that she also physically hurt him in this (enough to make him say âowâ) then you just get a whole host of Reasons Why This is NOT Leoâs âHappy Endingâ- which the narrative paints it out to be.
#leo valdez pjo#pjo leo#all da ladies luv leo#leo pjo#leovaldez#leo valdez#leo valdez angst#leo valdez hc#leo valdez headcanons#team leo#percy jackson#pjo fandom#pjo#pjo hoo toa#percy jackson fandom#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus#pjo hoo#pjo hoo toa tsats#anti caleo#caleo crit#i hate caleo#riordan universe#riordanverse#rick riordan#trials of apollo#toa#the dark prophecy#rick riordan critical#rick riordan criticism#itâs actually good writing on Rickâs part but the fact that he doesnât address it as a red flag and instead it seems like harmless banter
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Cliff notes on the new info on Dragon Age: The Veilguard in todayâs issue of Game Informer (magazine hub link):
Edit/update: I tidied up this post. ^^
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In CC you can customize things like shoulder width, chest size, glute size, hip width, how bloodshot your eyes are, nose crookedness, and more
There are hundreds of sliders for body proportions
CC detail: âFeatures like skin hue, tone, melaninâ
There is nudity in DA:TV, âwhich I learned firsthand while customizing my Rookâ in CC
Rookâs backstory also affects âreputation standingâ, along with the other previously-known things like in-game dialogue etc
Lords of Fortune are pirate-themed, âpiraticâ
Rook ascends because of competency, not because of a magical McGuffin, contrasting with the 'destiny-has-chosen youâ angle DA:I has for the Inquisitor
Rook is here because they chose to be, âand that speaks to the kind of character that weâve built. Someone needs to stop this, and Rook says, âI guess thatâs me'â
The 4 voices we can choose for Rook each have a pitch shifter in CC
The game starts inside the bar (as previously detailed in other coverage)
In some dialogue wheels there is a âromantically inclined âemotionalâ responseâ option. These are the replies that will build relationships with characters, romantic and platonic alike, but you can ignore them if you want to. Giving a companion the cold shoulder might nudge them into another companionâs embrace however
Bellaraâs surname is Lutara
In the streets of Minrathous (in the opening segment of the game), there is a wide, winding pathway with a pub which has a dozen NPCs in it (is this The Swan tavern?)
The devs used the DA:TV CC to make each in-world NPC, except for specific characters like companions
There is smart use of verticality, scaling and wayfinding in the gameplay
If you play as e.g. a qunari Rook, the camera adjusts to ensure larger characters like them loom over those below. The camera also adjusts appropriately for dwarves to demonstrate their smaller stature
Neve Gallus is described as being capable
The Venatori Cultists we fight in the opening segment of the game are seizing the chaos caused by the demons unleashed by Solasâ ritual to try and take the opportunity to take over the city
As you traverse deeper and deeper into Solasâ hideout, more of his murals appear on the walls, and things 'get more elven'. Rhodes says âthis is because youâre symbolically going back in time, as Minrathous is a city built by mages on the bones of what was originally the home of the elvesâ
At the heart of Solasâ hideout is his personal eluvian
Demons are fully redesigned in this game, on their original premise as creatures of feeling that live and die off the emotions around them. âAs such, they are just a floating nervous system, pushed into this world from the Fade, rapidly assembled into bodies out of whatever scraps they findâ
In the opening, we stop Solasâ ritual and save the world. âFor nowâ anyways. Rook passes out moments later and wakes up in a dream-like landscape to the voice of Solas. He explains that a few drops of Rookâs blood interacted with the ritual, connecting them to the Fade forever. (I guess this is why they said in the Discord Q&A on June 14th that Rook has good reasons to want to avoid blood magic)
He also says that he was attempting to move Elgarânan and Ghilanânain (confirming who the two Evil Gods are) to a new prison, because the one he had previously constructed was failing. Unfortunately, Solas is trapped in the Fade by our doing, and the two gods are now free. âItâs up to Rook to stop themâ, thus setting the stage for our adventure
Rook wakes up after this with Harding and Neve âin the lair of the Dread Wolf himselfâ, a special magical realm in the Fade called The Lighthouse. Itâs a towering structure centered amongst various floating islands. This is where the team bonds, grows, and prepares for its adventures. It becomes more functional and homier as you do. âAlready, though, itâs a beautifully distraught headquarters for the Veilguard, although they arenât quite referring to themselves as that just yetâ.
Because it was Solasâ home base, it's gaudy, with his fresco murals adorning various walls, greenery hanging from above, and hues of purple and touches of gold everywhere. Since itâs in the Fade, which is a realm of dreams that responds to your world state and emotion, the Lighthouse âreflects the chaos and disrepair of the Thedas you were in moments agoâ
Clock symbols over dialogue icons signal optional dialogue options
At this point you can head over to Neve, engage in dialogue, and try and flirt with her
There is a dining hall in the Lighthouse. A plate, cutlery and a drinking chalice are at the end of a massive table. Matt Rhodes says that this is a funny and sad look at Solasâ isolated existence, and an example of the detail BioWareâs art team has put into DA:TV. âItâs like when you go to a friendâs house and see their bedroom for the first time; you get to learn more about themâ
There is also a library, which is the central area of the The Lighthouse. Itâs here that the party will often regroup and prepare for whatâs next
The team decides that it must reach the ritual site back in Arlathan Forest. Corinne Busche said that the writer was "missing unique dialogue options here because Iâm qunari; an elf would have more to say about the Fade due to their connection to it. The same goes for my backstory earlier in Minrathous. If I had picked the Shadow Dragons background, Neve would have recognized me immediately, with unique dialogueâ
The team decide their next move. They go to Solasâ eluvian and back through to the ritual site in Arlathan Forest. However, itâs not fully functional without Solas, and while it returns them to the Forest, itâs not exactly where they want to go. Then a demon-infested suit of mechanized armor known as a Sentinel attacks them, and two NPCs appear to save you: the Veil Jumpers Strife and Irelin. Harding recognizes them, which you would expect if you read the comic Dragon Age: The Missing. They are experts in ancient elven magic. A cutscene ensues and we learn that Strife and Irelin need help finding Bellara Lutara. This cutscene is long and has multiple dialogue options.
âThereâs a heavy emphasis on storytelling and dialogue, and it feels deep and meaty, like a good fantasy novel. BioWare doesnât shy away from minutes-long cutscenesâ
For Rook, this story is about what does it mean to be a leader? We define their leadership style with our choices. âFrom the sound of it, my team will react to my chosen leadership style in how my relationships play out.â This is demonstrated within the gameâs dialogue and a special relationship meter on each characterâs companion screen
Bellara is deep within Arlathan Forest, and following the events of the prologue, something is up here. Three rings of massive rocks fly through the air, protecting what appears to be a central fortress. Demon Sentinels plague the surrounding lands.
In gameplay/combat, players complete every swing in real time. Special care was taken in development for animation swing-through and cancelling. We can dash, parry, charge moves, and a completely revamped healing system that allows us to use potions at our discretion by hitting right on the d-pad. You can combo attacks and even âbookmarkâ combos with a quick dash, which means that you can pause a comboâs status with a dash to safety and continue the rest of the combo afterward
Abilities can be used to customize your kit. They can be used on the fly as long as you account for cooldowns
When you pause and pull up the ability Wheel, it highlights you and your companionsâ skills. There you can choose abilities, queue them, target specific enemies, and strategize with synergies and combos
Each character plays the same in that you execute light and heavy attacks with the same buttons, use abilities with the same buttons, and interact with the combo wheel in the same way, regardless of which class you select
Sword and shield warriors can hip-fire or aim their shield and throw it like Captain America
Warriors can parry incoming attacks which can stagger enemies. Rogues have a larger parry window. The mage the writer played couldnât parry at all. Instead they throw up a shield that blocks incoming attacks automatically, so long as you have the mana to maintain it
On the start/pause screen: it has the map, journal, character sheets, skill tree, and a library for lore information. You can use it to cross-compare equipment and equip new gear for Rook and their companions, build weapon loadouts for quick change-ups mid-combat, and customize you and your partyâs abilities and builds via an easy-to-understand skill tree. There arenât in-depth minutiae, just "real numbers". For example, an unlocked trait might increase damage by 25 percent against armor, but thatâs as in-depth as the numbers get. Passive abilities unlock jump attacks and guarantee critical hit opportunities, while abilities add moves like a Wall of Fire to your arsenal if youâre a mage. As you spec out this skill tree, which is 100 percent bespoke to each class, youâll work closer to unlocking a spec, complete with a unique ultimate ability
âSentinels and legions of darkspawnâ
Combat is flashy and quick, with different types of health bars. Greenish-blue represents a barrier, which is taken down most effectively with ranged attacks
The game is gorgeous, with sprinkles, droplets, and splashes of magic in each attack a mage unleashes
The game looks amazing on consoles both in fidelity and performance modes
The mission to find Bellara is called âIn Entropyâs Graspâ. You find her. She is the first companion you recruit (as Neve auto-joins). If your background is Veil Jumper, you get unique dialogue here with Bellara. She explains that everyone there is all trapped in a Veil Bubble, and thereâs no way out once you pass through it. Despite the dire situation, she is bubbly, witty, and charming. She is spunky and effervescent
Companions are the faces of their factions, and in this case with Bellara, their entire area of the world. She is our window into Arlathan Forest. She is described as a sweetheart and a nerd for ancient elven artifacts, which is why sheâs dressed more like an academic than a combatant. Her special arm gauntlet is useful both for tinkering with her environment and taking down enemies. While Neve uses ice magic and can slow time with a special ability, Bellara specializes in electricity, and she can also use magic to heal you. Her electric magic is effective against Sentinels. âHowever, without Bellara, we could also equip a rune that converts my ice magic, for a brief duration, into electricity to counter the Sentinelsâ
If you donât direct your companions in combat, they are fully independent and will attack on their own
You progress at this point through the Forest, encountering more and more darkspawn. Bellara says that they have never been this far before because the underground Deep Roads, which they usually escape from, arenât nearby. However, with âblightedâ (BLIGHTED!) elven gods roaming the world, and thanks to the Blightâs radiation-like spread, itâs a much bigger threat in DA:TV than any prior DA game
The Forest has elven ruins, dense greenery and disgusting Blight tentacles and pustules
The style of the game is more high fantasy than anything in the series thus far and almost reminiscent of the whimsy of Fable. Matt Rhodes says that this is the result of the gameâs newfound dose of magic: âThe use of magic has been an evolution as the series has gone on. Itâs something weâve been planning for a while because Solas has been planning all this for a while. In the past, you could hint at cooler magical things in the corner because you couldnât actually go there, but now we actually can, and itâs fun to showcase that.â The Forestâs whimsy will starkly contrast to the gameâs other areas. The devs promise some grim locations and even grimmer story moments because, without that contrast, everything falls flat. Corinne says itâs like a âthread of optimismâ pulled through otherworldly chaos ravaging Thedas. At this point in the game, Bellaraâs personality is that thread
We can advance our bonds with our companions on their own personal quests and by including them in our party on main quests. Every Relationship Level you rank up, shown on their character sheet, nets you a skill point to spend on them. âThe choices you make, what you say to companions, how you help them, and more all matter to their development as characters and party membersâ. Each companion has access to 5 abilities.
Each companion has issues, problems, and personal quests to complete. âBellara has her own story arc that runs parallel to and informs the story path youâre onâ (Theyâve said that all of the companions have this too in previous promo material)
You progress deeper into the forest and Bellara spots a floating fortress and thinks that the artifact needed to destroy the Veil Bubble is in there. To reach it, we must remove the floating rock rings, and Bellaraâs unique ability, Tinker, can do just that by interacting with a piece of ancient elven technology nearby. Rook can acquire abilities like Tinker later to complete such tasks in instances where Bellara, for example, isnât in the party
Bellara has to activate three of these in the Forest to reach the castle. Each one you activate brings forth a bunch of Sentinels, demons, and darkspawn to defeat
You can create Arcane Bombs on enemies. It does high damage after being hit by a heavy attack
It sounds like mage characters can charge heavy attacks on their magical staffs. âthen switch to magical daggers in a second loadout accessed with a quick tap of down on the d-pad to unleash some quick attacksâ
Some enemies are âFrenziedâ, meaning that they hit harder, move faster, and have more health
After a few more combat sections, including against a Frenzied sentinel, we reach the center of the temple. In there is an artifact called the Nadas Dirthalen. Bellara knows that this means âthe inevitability of knowledgeâ. Before we can progress, a darkspawn ogre boss attacks, hitting hard with unblockable, red-coded attacks and a massive shield that you need to take down first. It is weak to fire
After defeating it (itâs a climactic arena fight), Bellara uses a special crystal to power the artifact and remove it from the pedestal, which destroys the Veil Bubble. Then, the Nadas Dirthalen comes alive as an Archive Spirit, but because the crystal used to power it breaks, we learn little about this spirit before it disappears. Bellara thinks that she can fix it (fixing broken stuff is her thing), so the group heads back to the Veil Jumper camp. The writerâs demo then ended.
The design of the game is not open world. The devs describe it as a âhub-and-spokeâ design where the needs of the story are served by the level design. A version of DA:Iâs Crossroads return (the network of teleporting eluvians) and this is how players will traverse across northern Thedas. âInstead of a connected open world, players will travel from eluvian to eluvian to different stretches of this part of the continentâ. e.g. Minrathous, tropical beaches, Arlathan Forest, âto grim and gothic areas and elsewhereâ. Some of these areas are large and full of secrets and treasures. Others are smaller and more focused on linear storytelling. Arlathan Forest is an example of this, but it still has optional paths and offshoots to explore for loot, healing potion refreshes, and other things.
Each location has a minimap, though linear levels like In Entropyâs Grasp wonât have the 'fog of war' that disappears as you explore like in some of the gameâs bigger locations
The game has the largest number of diverse biomes in DA history
The Thedas of DA:TV âlives in the uncertaintyâ. âthe mystery of its narrativeâ, âthe implications of its loreâ
The writer is surprised by BioWareâs command over the notoriously difficult Frostbite engine, and by how much narrative thought the dev team poured into these characters, even for BioWare.
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[source: the Game Informer pages from Issue 367 - the cover story from June 18th (link), two]
#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#long post#longpost#solas#feels#strife#blood cw#gonna tidy and typo check these notes in a moment#edit/update: i've tidied up this post now#dragon age: the missing#dragon age: the missing spoilers
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