#now I am truly emotional
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his therapist woulda had a field day at their next appointment
#my art#doodle#fanart#resident evil 8#ethan winters#i think its so funny that he has a journal in re8. not only does he have a journal but he illustrates it. i dont know if capcom intended to#imply that ethan stops every now and then to jot down the horrors and the hour that the horrors occur my guess is prolly not#but now its there and it makes me laugh. i shouldnt laugh at his mental health journey but i am anyways#shoutout to people who journal i wish i was you but instead i draw a guy feelin my emotions for me#but im so happy the sun goess away at 5pm. truly immaculate. i miss snow. but we stay chillin#i made more dear diary doodles but these were my favs n they went well together#i changed the entry in the 2nd one though cause i thought it was funnier to me this way#i cut my hair too short again im not even sad about it anymore like whatever man#at least its out of my way. and my shower was SO fast i got to stand there 5ever and it was still only like 15 minutes#fantastic. there are so many joys in life. theres twice as many horrors but the joys are definitely there and they are definitely joyful#anyways thats the post stay warm n cozy out there gang
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I'm back in the Tigers cage again.
(You too can join in on throwing a Rat Of A Man into a Tiger cage by reading Tiger Tiger)
#non mdzs#Still need a sona tag name...#Tiger tiger#When I say 'I need to hunt him down for blood' what I really mean is:#'I really like this character and I enjoy how he's able to provoke emotion in the readers'.#Thank you Petra for being such an amazing writer!#The penultimate chapter of Tiger Tiger is underway! I'm so excited to see how things will conclude!#There is truly no better time to be getting into Tiger Tiger than right now! Don't wait!#More TIger's comics *are* on the horizon. So sorry for underfeeding you guys.#Life got busy and I ended up taking a break for 2 months but I am *back* and I won't be leaving any time soon.#I got a tad overwhelmed with the discord; it's a fun place to chat but very busy - I'll try and pop in more often.
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Anger is such a normal part of recovery, and I wish it were normalized. I think it is genuinely harmful to depict recovery as this era of your life that only sets you free and makes you euphoric, and there will never again be a cloud in the sky because you have Ultimately Healed.
It's the fucking opposite sometimes. Recovery can feel violent, because the things you are recovering from are often (though not always) violent. It is so common to feel white-hot rage, grief, catharsis, elation, numbness - in essence, a whole host of emotions that aren't pretty, or aren't simple little categories to be neatly boxed and sorted and understood by the "normals."
Those recovering: Your emotions are real, and they aren't bad. You aren't a bad person for how you are processing and healing. You, however, aren't alone. You are doing so fucking well, no matter what it is you are healing from or for. I genuinely hope you can be proud of that.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#recovery#the first time i actually *let* myself feel anger and rage was truly the point i felt free#because throughout my time trying to recover i was TERRIFIED and HORRIFIED that i could feel those Bad Emotions#and that rage hit me suddenly because i couldn't hold that anger in anymore#it's almost funny to me now though#me driving: 😀 || my brain: I Am So Fucking Irate About [recovery thing] I Never Deserved That || me: 🤬#i know for a fact that i have talked about this but i quite literally still need to talk about this
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aabria. your mind.
i don't know how long a gap there is between episodes. but how long did she have to create a player has died mechanic?? how long did she have to rewrite this island to make sure it could bring evan back to life????? how did she have fulfilling answers to everyone's questions when they're all so different and broad and needed meaningful answers?????
and How On Earth Did She Already Have Jammers Sock On Hand ??????
#crying screaming throwing up#literally in tears this whole episode#whatever people who have only seen mismag s1 think the vibe of s2 is#are wrong#this is so drastically different in a way that. even knowing the vibe would be different. i could never have predicted#and im so here for it#but Damn am i an emotional wreck now#its such a good season and truly. cannot recommend it enough.#aabria my beloved#misfits and magic#misfits and magic season 2#mismag#mismag s2#d20#dimension 20#dropout
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I'm going back to bed the moment I post this but I've been having a super rough and stressful night... so for whatever reason I went back to read some of the kind asks I've received since I saved a lot... some since the first time I started writing... and I got so emotional and just began sobbing haha.... I can't believe how lucky I am...... I love writing so much.........
#I'm sorry I think I'm just in an emotional mood today lol#like I forget all the time that#people actually read the things I write#when I thought no one ever would#when I dreamed of wanting to make my silly dreams a reality#and I have so much to improve upon still#but like. I did that#I made all those things#wiping my snot and tears on my big fat aki plushie rn#for so so so long I felt I could never be myself#but now there are so many people who appreciate me when I am being the most true version of myself...#I just read one of the asks someone sent me where they said#'i think with your writing I can tell just how much you love to write'#and then it just made me burst into tears lol....#it's so lovely that someone would say that and YES!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!#THAT'S WHY I NEVER WANT TO GIVE UP....#I hope I can find more time to write next week......#also I know it's such a silly thing to say#considering I enjoy writing silly x reader gratuitous smut fanfiction LMAO#but understand..... it's important to me...#as silly as it is.......... it's important#and it's special#and I'm truly grateful
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3/4 of the expected surgery cost in a single afternoon, what the hell man lol
i will never feel normal ever again, words truly cannot express
#like i am going through some very complicated emotions rn on top of everything but i just really#this is truly beyond my comprehension#and everyone whose name I don't recognize should confess your crimes so i can thank you properly#also fear not the cat is definitely not going anywhere now#and at this point it looks like unless the bill i get from the mechanic is like the absolute worst possible case#the ducks should be staying too#i am overwhelmed by the kindness of friends and even strangers#i will never emotionally recover djsjjsdj
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the never stop blowing up vhs is where cute twinks go to get harmed
#not art#nsbu spoilers#kirk blade.... johnny manhattan..... maybe tenuously cosmo chase#also genuinely I Love that vic ethanol is showing himself to be bit of a dick#and kingskin conversely First Actual Communication With The Player is like. idk I just work here#(I am vibrating in my seat abt liv bloodlust. shes experiencing a bit of emotional consequence. hope she powers thru it and#becomes even worse)#I also love that g13 and jack manhattan are both like. gone#I know in adventuring party they're charting it to shape up as like. usha also slowly losing herself to the work like g13 did#and them becoming one entity entirely in the sense that their selves stop mattering in the face of their hacker capacity#(also called the Forum Moderator Dilemma)#but I also like to think that g13 handed it back to usha cleanly in the second episode with that one interaction#and is now fully unplugged from everything. left the movie. man is Sleeping#we all agree that paula ate jack manhattan tho I think it's fine to assume that#and! the way russell has been like. fully going whole hog full tilt into helping other people and moving the plot along#while Suggesting That Doing Self Reflection And Learning Lessons From This World Might Help to Other People#like I love that. 1/lieutenant syndrome but also 2/extremely transfem coded#like past the ''ohh I have realisationd I'm coming to'' stage. far past. man is bored with thinking abt genders#not new realisation to him! had that thought two decades ago. not motivated enough by anything to change anything#I think I just love the scenario of like magical mystical journey in a fantasy world clearly designed to make you contemplate ur gender#and ur like oh no what? we did that years ago. whats up#deeply interested tho. open up russell we wanna see whats up with u#dang is perfect no note 10/10 more important than anything else he is genre aware and savvy and that truly is all he needs here#the ''let's make it fun'' scene he does with liv is SO good I love him. Im so scared the vhs will snatch him away. hes too genre perfect
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cut script bits + extended scene/acting notes from season 3's junkyard dog. because i want to make you guys cry <3 the scenes that made the final cut are already painful enough, but reading the actual notes of what vibes a scene is supposed to convey or what an actor's performance is supposed to be based around make it hit so much harder.
+ kitt upset that his mom seemingly left, and there's something about the specific description that michael closes the door softly that fucking floors me
#junkyard dog#knight rider#knight rider scripts#kr#michael knight#kitt#this episode makes me so fucking sad. but also i want to watch it 50 times. the hurt/comfort is immaculate#i am a fiend for hurt/comfort and we have a whole canon episode for it. its one of THE best episodes in the series even besides that#this show doesn't spend a lot of time on like emotional moments and interactions between characters but this episode is REALLY good for it#kitt has been damaged before but he's never been... killed. he's never truly faced his mortality like that and neither has michael#or anyone from the foundation. he was supposed to be invincible and some of his confidence stems from that#and now what of him. he comes out of it Scared - traumatized even. and now he and michael are even more alike for it#god its such a good episode. its such a good episode. its one of my favorite episodes. its so fucking good it makes me insane
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american here and it’s been one hour since my TikTok died ): I have already opened the app like 10 times on accident, the mind knows it’s gone but the body remembers </3
AAAAAA NOOOOO </333 honestly so so heartbroken for you
( -̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥᷄◞ω◟-̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥᷅ ) when i saw a screenshot of the notif my friend sent me my heart literally sank and it wasn’t even applicable to me?? it’s crazy how integral that app was in our every day lives and i genuinely feel like i wouldnt know what to even do or go from here
#urusai! baka#ITS ACTUALLY BREAKING MY HEART#BECAUSE WE SHARED SO MANY MEMORIES#IN THE FORM OF MEMES AND TRENDS AND VIRAL MOMENTS#ok not to be so dramatic and emotional but#i genuinely think the cultural impact that tiktok had is#hold on hear me out#the fact that it truly blew up during lockdown when we were all forced to stay in and isolated from others#but it came as a means to connect with others online#and even aftrrwards it created viral moments and trends that connect you to others in real life#idek if im making any sense rigbt now im a lil like#aaaaaaAa#like the sense of community it creates os truly unmatched in a global scale#its like being in on an inside joke except its like everyones there#and youre all just kekeing together#and i rly mean on a global international scale too#bcos the viral moments rly come from everywhere#not just america?? and#u just get a glimpse into cultures around the world#i just . AM SAD ABOUT THIS#NONNIE IM SO SAAAD FOR UUUUU
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I've started to ascribe emotional and intellectual meaning to the prayers we say in shul, so now I can properly beseech g-d when I pray with everyone else
And I've got to say, there's something really special about it. I recommend beseeching Him as often as possible
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#as in i don't need to read the english translation i can just understand as we pray#i never got being emotional when in prayer and whatnot but now i do#i'm just grateful for this because i was worried i would never be able to truly understand what i am praying#especially because my shul does english and hebrew mixed#me praying עשה שלום like we will never be granted peace otherwise 😂#that prayer is just special to me okay
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#currently playing a fun game of 'is this a depressive episode or just me crashing after finals are over' 😭#I'm sure things will feel normal again in a few days but man. nothing is fun.#people truly do not talk enough about how BORING depression is. literally nothing interesting going on.#nothing's WRONG right now but nothing's good either and it feels like the emotional equivalent of a kohl's parking lot.#i'd rather it be a chaotic and stressful trader joe's parking lot. or a costco parking lot. not an empty-ass boring kohl's parking lot.#I am truly better equipped to deal with the sad overwhelming stress type of depression. at least i can toss some therapy at that#but you just have to blankly sit through this kind. I can barely sit through reheating leftovers 😭#i'm sure it'll be fine. it always is. it will go away. I just need time to recuperate after the finals rush.#i'll go log off and read a book or do art or whatever. and it'll be BORING. and I'll HATE IT. but I'll do it.
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i know u said not to worry abt a doodle in response but. Here... as a token of gratitude for all the amazing things u write :3 -@dabihatemail
HEY SO . THIS ACTUALLY MADE ME CRY IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU I KDKEKCKSKCKD I LOVE IT I LOVE YOU IM LIKE AAAHXHSJXJ CAN WE HUG AND KISS AND MAYBE BE IN LOVE ???? MAYBE?????? THANK YOU THANK YOU THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING IM SO SKKDKDKCKD
#IM HAVING A VERY EMOTIONAL NIGHT#BUT I AM REALLY TRULY CRYING RIGHT NOW#i just . the fact that you sat down and drew this for me#it’s perfect#i love you#like … so much#thank you this is maybe the best thing i’ve ever received i love it i love you WAAAAH#CHOSO DOODLE IS ON HIS WAY 🫡🫡🫡🫡#i love you . btw :’)#q answers#quinjax#rust <3
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Y'know I really feel like Harry and Dave's relationship goes highly unexplored which is a shame because there IS quite a bit to explore, ESPECIALLY if you care about shipping. But as the game stands I mean, they must be aware of each other. Harry in fact definitely knows about Dave. I don't think he'd tell the fucking weird rotten bunny his terrible boss brought in IS the number one threat against Freddy's since day 1 but even so. Dave I don't think would see Harry as much more than A Phoney™ though, which is always more of an obstacle and way less of a person. Which is usually opposite of how Jack sees his often sole employee. Like, you get what I mean? It's almost similar to 2 with the main opposing routes being Peter and Dave except the stakes are arguably way lower now.
#luly talks#dsaf#dsaf harry#dsaf dave#harry fitzgerald#dave miller#if you DO care about shipping however the meat to chew on becomes greater#i think dave bond w Phoneys in general goes fairly unexplored which is once again A Shame bc i do like the hypocrisy he holds#in more than one way they mirror each other#now im just getting emotional and derailed now im literally just thinking of steven that's NOT da point now 💥💥💥#point is i do think you'd take this to a weird domesticating route or simply a more. goofy love triangle one#i mean dave does say he'll win Jack back which is peak divorced line#so its like. a tug war. except Harry isn't like peter who was like employee for the love of god i need your help#harry is pretty passive like Sir. This is urgent but it is your choice ☹️#sorry my meds are kicking in what am i even saying anymore?#i feel like that NyQuil post im for sure gonna shit the bed tonight#i digress anyway point being i think you'd go many places with this concept#you'd just have them coexist in a way the game doesn't explore. you'd have it just plaguing Jack's mind.#you'd have a one sided rivalry. you'd have a STRAIGHT UP RIVALRY. you'd have tragedy and agony in planet earth#which i saw be touched up on once by that one artist who draws jack like he never left the 80s mullet and all. muppety too.#iykyk there's like 6 harrysport artists overall you'll figure what i mean#and yeah you'd even have a somewhat functional jack having two hands. which is something taps chest i truly think could happen#i believe un love and peace and chsnge and healing and#and copium first and foremost ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️#my body feels so heavy its hard to leep my eyes open
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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
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got my first job interview in like 10+ years tomorrow, frantically cramming and writing down questions to ask etc wish me luckkkkk
#quitting your job blind and emigrating is fun and all#until you realise you now need to do job application stuff again#truly the most cursed of human activities#also this is not even a job i massively want or anything#it's p low down my list but they're the first to offer an interview so#here's hoping i hear back from the better school with a better position#i am prepping#which means i have downloaded Saw 5 to watch as soon as i get home and stocked the cupboard with emotional distress snacks#my saw trap would be writing a cover letter and then making a phone call to arrange an interview#and i'd fail and get my leg bones sucked out by a jigsaw bone sucking device (tm)
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Yall I can’t even yap about Ep30 even if I want to. I feel like the tiniest yap is a spoiler from now on. Just be prepared for the waterworks. I mean this with so much gravity.
#I cried so fucking much#the last time I cried so much over a cdrama was over Jiang yanli’s death#the end credits are truly giving me whiplash now#I am so numb already#I can’t imagine the next 4 episodes#fangs of fortune#I don’t want to analyse anything atp#it’s all emotions
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