#november is for those who yearn

[cornerstoreclown]

Unlikely Guardian

Summary: This is a short one-shot (4114 words approx.) where the reader (Gender Neutral) is being followed on their way home by someone other than their familiar companion, Art. It doesn’t end well for the people who tried to harm the Reader. Where is the safest place to be from danger, than in the arms of danger itself? 

Warnings: Sexual harassment (Catcalling w/ gender neutral terms), attempted murder, gun violence, murder, stalking, depictions of violence, blood. 

Author’s notes: I don’t really have much to add here, other than that thanks for the support from the community so far! You all have been very kind. 

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“Fuck, it’s cold.” You mumble to no one but, well, yourself. 

You should have brought gloves when you walked around the city today. The air is cold, dry, and bitter and nipping at your exposed fingers. It wasn’t that bad on your way to the local pharmacy when the sun was still up, but over the course of time it took for you to get there, wait in a long ass line, pay for your medicine and finally leave, it’s gotten worse. Then, to top it off, you were hungry after that trek and walked an additional distance to get something to eat, because in no way you felt like cooking tonight. Now you were carrying not only your medicine, but leftovers to take home. At least the food smells good from the plastic bag you’re carrying it in. Your medicine is tucked in your backpack you have over your shoulders.  

This was the sucky part about November—the clocks jumped back an hour last week, and now it’s dark before it’s even five pm. Halloween came to an end not too long ago and some people still have yet to take down their creepy decorations, you notice as you walk down various streets on your way back. You didn’t mind it, though. Halloween was one of your favorite holidays, and the macabre never bothered you. It was an escape and maybe a coping mechanism for the terror that was actual reality, or maybe you just really liked this type of stuff. 

It’s dark out, the sun has long since set hours ago. The sounds of leaves crunching under your feet as the wind blows them in your path accompanies you amid the peaceful quiet of this often empty part of the city. Walking alone at night was often considered something dangerous for many, yourself included, but you needed your medicine, and you really didn’t want to be without it. It was easier to walk around during the month of October at night, and it was perhaps the only time you actually took your time when coming home from any late night escapade. The reasons for your late returns home varied, whether it be because you went out to eat by yourself, went to the movies, or just a general night time walk around to appreciate the spooky decorations. 

Those leisurely carefree strolls were all because you had Death’s eyes on you at all times. 

Art. 

Art was your friend you made a few years back during one Halloween, who, after countless encounters and even a sleepover —if you could call it that—he had at your place last fall, eventually came to be… A sort of unofficial partner, you suppose, because you’re not really sure what you two are. He had a tendency to emerge during the tail end of September and lingered all throughout October before going rampant on the 31st like he was ticking on some sort of internal clock. Maybe he’s an evil Halloween spirit. Or a demon. Devil? You don’t really know. Point being, you had your own attack dog, or attack clown, in this case, who clearly harbored some sort of care for you, though to what extent you still don’t know. You try not to think too hard every time November comes around, lest you start to feel lonely again and let the pangs of yearning for his company become so strong that you’ll feel sick. 

He killed people. You knew that. But he was nice to you… even though sometimes you did question if one day he’d turn on you and you’d end up on the back of a milk carton. Sometimes being around him felt like being around a wild animal, because he was about as unpredictable as one. You supposed you could sympathize with people whose life work was taking care of exotic dangerous animals—it was the creatures' beauty and the appreciation for what those predators were that kept those people around. In your own way, you could say you thought the same about The Miles County Clown. 

You even remember one night last October you were walking home in the dark, and he had been stalking you up until the moment you left your apartment, waiting for the moment to effectively scare the shit out of you, hammer out and positioned to show he was ready to attack. He was fully successful in that mission, and initially it made you angry as he stood there pointing and laughing after your soul just felt like it left your body. You remember calling him an absolute asshole and playfully giving him a light shove to his shoulder while he was still in hysterics at having made you jump and yelp. You didn’t laugh, but you did smile at him. You told him next time you’ll have to jumpscare him and threaten him with a hammer. The expression he gave you was a surprised face that melted into a mischievous smile which told you that he, for sure, would like to see you try. Challenge accepted. 

You smile a little to yourself as you reminisce on the good times you had with him while walking, but your attention flickers when you hear the sound of what you thought was something like a glass breaking behind you. 

You stop in your tracks, turning your head, smile disappearing, eyes scanning the surroundings trying to find the source of the noise. All you see is a bunch of brick buildings, but no sign of anyone. You did see a rat run across the street from the sidewalk that you’re on, though. You feel yourself deflate a bit and relax, watching the critter until it is no longer visible. At that, you turn on your heel and continue walking.

“Hey, hot stuff!”

Someone was calling out. You didn’t think much of it, or, you chose not to think much of it. You heard it loud and clear off in the distance behind you. They must not be talking to you, no one really talks to you. You keep your stride.

“Where ya goin’?!”

You grip your plastic bag full of food tighter by the handles, a little more speed to your walk. 

“I said HEY! HOT STUFF! WHERE YA GOIN’?” 

The voice is somewhat deep, and that’s already a bit of a reason for your blood to be pumping quicker. You feel ice run through your veins as you start to have a run to your walk, and then a full blown sprint. You just wanted to be left alone, and you were too anxious to look back over your shoulder for fear of what you might see. Just a few more blocks and you’d be fine! You’d be able to get to your building, run up the stairs to your floor, lock the door, and hopefully, that would be that! You’d keep your phone close at hand if you needed to call anyone! You’d never travel down these streets again, maybe not until next October, you tell yourself! It’s fine, you try to lie to yourself, it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine—

“Fine, have it your way, then!” 

Words haven’t ever struck fear into your heart in such a way as they have now. It prompts you to look over your shoulder to finally see a man, rather nondescript and unremarkable. Clearly by his body language and the way that he’s slowly walking towards you versus running, something is terribly off. Where did he even COME from?!

“Why in such a hurry, sexy?” 

You skid to an immediate halt as a new voice comes not from behind you, but in front of you. You look ahead to the source of the sound, seeing out from the alleyway in front of you, two more men step forward, cutting you off from going any further. Fear has a tight grip on you, and you’re briefly paralyzed. With a delayed start, you reach for your phone in your pocket too little too late, your fingers frantically trying to dial 9-1-1, but you’re cut off just at the second you’re about to press the phone symbol as one of the men before you snatches it.

“You don’t need this.” The one who seized your phone says, smirking at you before he throws your phone on the ground and smashes it beneath his foot with one, two, three very hard stomps. You’re mortified and horrified, taking a few steps back as your flight response kicks in, self preservation urging for you to run. You go to run back the way you came, but immediately bump into the first man you saw that was calling out to you. He’s taller than the other two behind you, and he’s walking forward, forcing you to back up until you’re almost caged in by all three of them. There’s still some space left, but not nearly enough to try and get out without bumping into them. 

“H-Hey,” You hold your hands up by your sides as a gesture of your submission. “Listen, I-I don’t have much, but if it’s money you want, I can give you money.”

You really didn’t have a whole lot of cash on you. You were barely hanging on until your next paycheck. All you got to your name right now is maybe thirty-seven dollars? It’s not a lot, but it was something. 

“I give you money, and you let me go, and I don’t tell anyone about any of this, okay?”

The two men behind you chuckle, as does the one in front of you. It only fills you with dread, and the seconds that pass feel like agonizing hours. You’re living out literally every second of your life right now, and you hate it. 

“Tell?” The laugh of the man before you continues, his backup chorus over your shoulder following along with him. He’s brandishing a switchblade now, holding it to your face, and you try to lean away only for the men behind you hold you in place by your shoulders. You shut your eyes tight and wince. 

“You’ll be lucky if you’ll be even able to talk again once I carve up that face of—”

You hear a sickly wet thunk! in front of you. 

“What the—?” One of the men behind you says. 

“Oh, fuck.” The other one behind you says, and you feel both of the men’s grasp on your shoulders vanish. 

“IT’S HIM! IT’S REALLY HIM! HE DOES EXIST! RUN!”

Your eyes open at that, seeing that both men took off in two different directions. You felt one run in the direction where you came from, and one run where you were initially going before you were stopped. When you look in front of you, you see the first man who was the start of all your problems, frozen in place with pure shock, eyes wide and jaw slack. You notice he’s falling forward, and with adrenaline rushing through you, you yelp and dodge him as he falls face first onto the ground just at your feet. 

There’s an ax in his back. 

You look up quickly at that, shock and surprise leaving you bewildered as you recognize your savior standing before you, donning the familiar black and white.

Art?! October was over--Why was he still here? Did he come back?

That bliss is short-lived when you see he’s holding a gun pointed in your direction, until you realize it’s not at you, but over your shoulder. Art’s expression is stone cold. There’s no smile. Whenever Art wasn’t smiling, you knew that it was bad news for whoever was on the receiving end. Fortunately, it appears as if you're not on that end.

You quickly move out of the way, looking off to where he’s aiming. One of the men who ran the direction you were headed to go home hasn’t gotten very far, and you’re bracing yourself for the loud noise, covering your ears with your hands. 

The blast from the gun is loud, and you still flinch when he fires it. You didn’t get to see the exact moment because of that, but you see blood spurting from the back of the fleeing man's skull seconds before he crumples dead to the ground. Art was great with his aim when he really put focus into it. You glance back at the clown, seeing him slowly lower the gun down to his side, staring off straight ahead at the limp body with no emotion. 

“Art!” You exclaim, dropping your plastic bag and running right for him. Contrary to how that might be wise or sensible considering he was holding a gun and is an unpredictable murderer, it was an absolute relief to see him. He catches your intentions immediately and opens his arms slightly for you to bring it in. He's not smiling but you catch a glimpse of his teeth as they were often exposed, grinning or not. Your arms wrap around him tightly, and he’s able to effectively stand his ground without the weight of your form making him stumble back. He’s as sturdy as a pillar, and you feel his arms around you. His gun points downward at the ground from behind you. Your backpack is largely in the way, but his free hand rubs at the back of your neck in an oddly reassuring way that tickles you. You’re jittery, and you sway a bit in his arms as you both stand there in silence for those few seconds. You finally nuzzle yourself against his chest, and inhale. 

Your nose wrinkles, and you pull back just enough to look up at him while still holding on. Is that sulfur you’re smelling? 

“Ugh. Art, you smell terrible. Where have you been? Did you just come out of a volcano?” 

He looks upwards at nothing in particular, purposefully looking rather thoughtful to indicate that he was thinking. He squints after a few seconds, then is reanimated again, giving a gentle sway of his head, followed by a shrug of his shoulders.  He’s essentially telling you, ‘yeah, something like that’.  You’re not going to ask about it further. The smell is god awful, but at least he’s here. You’re willing to put up with it. 

“Well… Thanks for saving me. I missed you.” You tell him, but he’s not responding to your words. Instead, he’s looking at you and inspecting you, turning your head this way and that. Normally the man was all smiles and grins, but when he was angry, he was angry. He’d flip back soon, he always did. 

“I’m fine, I–”

Art interrupts you with a finger in your face, telling you to stop for a second as he licks his thumb and proceeds to wipe your cheek, rather aggressively to the point where it feels like he’s trying to actually move the skin off your face. You must have gotten something on you somehow, but you don’t know when. Maybe there was some food on your face from earlier. He’s looking comedically focused.

“Yes, thank you,” You tell him. 

Once he sees that you’re okay and your cheek is now clean, he gives you a gentle pat on the side of your face. You watch him through tired eyes.

“I‘m really glad to see you.” 

He looks flattered, putting his hand to his chest as if to give a coy ‘me?’ gesture, brows raised and teeth showing in a smile, and you purse your lips, then show a smile of your own, giving a nod. You’re willing to forgo the fact that he smells like he literally just came from the pits of a fiery hell, and lean against him for another short while for comfort.  And he lets you. 

As you both stood there in the stillness of the night, it didn’t take long for it to be interrupted by the sounds of groaning beneath you. Both you and Art look down, and see the man who had the ax sticking out of his back rouse, glancing up at the both of you. You stare down at the man as the stranger’s eyes meet yours, meanwhile Art only looks down at him in mild disgust, brows furrowed, lips pulled back and teeth showing, holding a silent snarl. 

“You mean to tell me…” He says, a resigned and weak laugh coming from his lips. You’re almost getting the vibe that he knows that he’s not getting out of this alive, compared to the other two that took the flight response. “That you two fucking freaks are together?” 

The Miles County Clown’s reputation has only been growing over the years, much to Art’s delight. There were very few who didn’t know about him. He had a reputation to maintain, after all. So well known, yet damn near impossible to catch. He was a blight, sent from whatever depths he came from to torture mankind. 

Makes you wonder what that said about you, given that he’s tolerated you and hasn’t murdered you yet. 

“I should have guessed. You look like you came from the fucking circus. Your wannabe poser buddy over there can’t even kill people right like the real Miles County Clown.” 

The audacity that this man and his two friends had to try and harm you, and then for him act like you’re the problem and insult your physical appearance on top of it. Now that the shock has had time to settle in and your emotions have rearranged themselves proper, you feel anger. Rage. A fury beyond what words could ever hope to paint. Your veins feel like they’re on fire, blood boiling hot. You let go of Art, who is watching you with fascination and delight as you make your way over to the stranger with clenched fists. Art’s smile is wide, and he looks about as devilish as ever. 

You are experiencing righteous fury. 

“You don’t get to say that to me when you’re on your deathbed, and my friend here is very much the real thing.” You tell him coldly, kneeling down to his level. You press your tongue against  the inside of your cheek, assessing the man. The ax in his back was pretty deep, no doubt paralyzing him from damage to the spinal cord. Art made it a point to immobilize him so he couldn’t harm you further, you realize. “I think he was just saving you for later.” You look over your shoulder at your clown companion, who has his head held high, teeth still bared, but a sense of … joy? In how you’re standing up for yourself, and him. 

“I want him quiet,” You tell Art. “Permanently.”

The man’s expression falters. You stand back up, and Art has his gun held out for you to take. He points towards the familiar black trash bag a few feet away from where you both are.

“You want me to pick the weapon?”  He gives you the most enthusiastic nod, silently cackling as he does so, gently giving you a push in the proper direction. You go willingly, peeking over your shoulder to see Art kicking this man in the gut a few times. The man is wailing with each hit. 

The man who got shot in the back of the head had it easy. 

Making your way over to the bag, you open it up, seeing an arrangement of items. Plenty of tiny handheld improvised weapons that you’ve seen him show you before. Nails, a hammer, some standard tools that you’d find in a doctors office and others that belonged more in a construction site. After maybe half a minute of careful inspection, it’s the boxcutter knife that catches your eye. 

Examining Art's gun, you carefully put the safety on and unload the magazine, place it in the bag, then finally toss the gun inside next. Once you have that settled, you reach for your torture accessory of choice.

With weapon in hand you walk back over to Art, who was still rather ardently tormenting this man, giving the most gleefully silent laughter you’ve seen from him in a while. You clear your throat and he takes a second to stop what he’s doing, hand extended out for whatever weapon you’ve decided to give him. He’s still looking down at the wheezing assailant-turned-victim, but turns his head when you place the box cutter knife into his open palm. Your fingertips brush against his during the exchange, and your eyes meet his. 

Whatever you’re feeling, it’s a lot like a high. 

“Will you come visit me tonight?” You ask him, a hopeful look in your eyes. He gives a lopsided smile and a shrug. There’s a glint in his eye, and you understand that he’s not done. There’s still the one who got away. 

“Well, I have leftovers if you drop by. It’s ramen, but I think you’d like it. It’s wiggly like worms.” Your lips turn upwards into a fond smile. The man had the oddest affinity for insects and other invertebrates. He’s eaten a few before, too. You were trying to have him try other things than people and sweets, but you weren’t going to knock him too hard for eating invertebrates. It was protein. A win is a win.

He looks as if he’s about to react to your kind offer, but the sound of the man beneath his feet groaning disrupts your conversation. Art punishes him with another swift kick, this time in his chest. The ax has been removed and tossed to the side, presumably done when you had your back turned. You suspect Art removed it to expose the wound wider and possibly to dig further into with his bare hands or that box cutter knife. However, all of that is speculation based on what you know in regards to how he murders people. You can only guess. 

“Please! Have mercy! I-I-I was just kidding earlier!” The assailant cries out. Art is gleefully showing the blade to him, fervently nodding his head, as if to say that ‘yes, this blade is going to be going in you, multiple times!’. The man’s pleas mean nothing to Art. This man is a pathetic waste of flesh, muscle, and bone, and Art knows he’s going to delight in cutting him open like a package and slicing through the skin like it’s box tape.

You swallow and look over at Art, then the pleading man. Before Art gets too into carving this man up into a masterpiece, you put your hand gently on his shoulder as he’s leaning down, preparing to cut him. The clown’s arm is raised, but he keeps it there when he feels your touch, and he turns his head to you. 

“I’m heading home,” You tell him. “Stay safe, please.” You reach for your broken phone nearby, knowing you’ll have to replace it later. You’ll be more upset about your phone once all of what’s happened tonight has time to process.

He gives you a thumbs up with his other hand and then gives a friendly goodbye wave, and you return it, before turning your back to him. You refuse to look, because hearing the sounds of flesh being sliced repeatedly and the blood curdling screams is enough for you. You grab your plastic bag full of leftovers, and begin walking away. 

It was only a matter of time that you’d start to hear police sirens, and you don’t want to be there for when that will happen. If someone hadn’t already called the cops, you’re sure they would eventually. The cries for help are loud, but the gunshot was louder. 

You start to run, taking off as fast as you can for home until your lungs burn and you’re wheezing. You make it home safe and sound, and for a second you debate on locking the door, wondering if you should leave it unlocked for Art. Deciding to be safe and not to press your luck, you do lock it. If Art really wanted in, he’d find a way in your apartment.  You never did get to ask him if he was always around all times of the year, or if this was just a one time thing and he sensed you were in trouble. You place your food on the counter, and prepare yourself for a long shower with full intentions of afterwards turning on the news, maybe to see the fate of not only the two men who bothered you, but the third one who got away. 

And maybe, you tell yourself, just maybe when you get out of the bathroom you’d find a clown sitting on your couch in front of the television, stained in blood and gore with a trash bag by his side, sloppily eating leftover noodles.

[thesimpsbasement]

☆Thesimpsbasement Masterlist post☆

Last updated: November 12 2023

•No longer the avatar of pride

•Belphie having to live with the guilt of Lilith's death and it's taking a toll on his health

•The brothers and Lilith after the fall

•Solomon, Simeon, Barbatos, and Diavolo dating hcs

•"You are all I can think about”(Asmo x reader)

•Apollo walks in on a very panicked and stressed s/o and tries his best to comfort them 

•The nightmares of the DL-6 incident still haunts Edgeworth even if the  true culprit was been found but you are there to help him in those times 

•Barok's s/o who is a known painter that is also rumored to bring some sort of curse by selling their paintings 

•Phoenix Wright , Apollo Justice, Athena Cykes, Raymond Shields , Ryuunosuke Naruhodo defend their accused s/o

•Morning cuddles with Simon Blackquill

•General dating hc with Herlock Sholmes, Kazuma Asougi,Barok van Zieks, Ryuunosuke Naruhodo 

•Herlock Sholmes, Kazuma Asougi,Barok van Zieks, Ryuunosuke Naruhodo with a touch starved s/o

•Herlock Sholmes, Kazuma Asougi,Barok van Zieks, Ryuunosuke Naruhodo accidently seeing their shy crush drawing them

•General dating hc with Miles Edgeworth,Apollo Justice, Phoenix Wright, Godot, Simon Blackquill, Klavier Gavin

•Miles Edgeworth,Apollo Justice, Phoenix Wright, Godot, Simon Blackquill, Klavier Gavin with a touch starved s/o

•Bobby Fulbright with a Detective!s/o

•Miles Edgeworth,Apollo Justice, Phoenix Wright, Godot, Simon Blackquill, Klavier Gavin accidently seeing their shy crush drawing them

•Phoenix Wright,Klavier Gavin, Apollo Justice, Simon Blackquill with a s/o that gives good shoulder massages

•Klavier Gavin being comforted by his s/o after the events of Apollo Justice 4-4

•Herlock Sholmes, Kazuma Asougi,Barok van Zieks, Ryuunosuke Naruhodo reacting to their crush remembering something they mentioned a long time ago

•Phoenix Wright,Apollo Justice, Klavier Gavin and Simon Blackquill giving a massage to their s/o

•Apollo Justice and Klavier Gavin dating a really tall s/o

•Barok van Zieks falls for a childhood friend who grew up on the van Zieks estate as the grandchild of staff at the estate.As adults, s/o keeps a job at the estate, Barok is still pinning but fears disapproval due to their class difference.

•Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth with a rival reader

•Miles Edgeworth,Apollo Justice, Phoenix Wright, Godot, Simon Blackquill and Klavier Gavin reacting to their crush remembering something they mentioned a long time ago

•Simon Blackquill with a s/o who has a story similar to the "Servant of Evil"

•Gregson with a crush that's super affectionate

•“Of course i came for you it would take much more than that to stop me”(Herlock Sholmes x reader)

•“I feel your absence in everything that i do alone in every place i go without you”( Miles Edgeworth x reader)

•Reader pins Apollo to a wall

•Hershel Layton taking care of a sick s/o

•General dating hc with Jean Descole

•General dating hc with Flora Reinhold

•General dating hc with Henry Ledore

•"For years I have yearned for you,in secrecy and silence"( Jean Descole x reader)

•"For years I have yearned for you,in secrecy and silence"( Henry Ledore x reader)

•General dating hcs with Desmond Sycamore

•Zack slowly falls in love with S/O but is in denial about it

•You're exhausted from work, but Dazai suddenly wants to be more than simply partners in crime, so you invite him over to spend the night together and things seems to turn

•General dating hc with Nakajima Atsushi, Osamu Dazai, Doppo Kunikida, Edogawa Ranpo and Yukichi Fukuzawa

•Kissing/Making out headcanons with Atsushi

•Nakajima Atsushi, Osamu Dazai, Doppo Kunikida, Edogawa Ranpo, and Yukichi Fukuzawa with touch starved s/o

•After losing you things haven't been the same for Dazai as he goes through the photo book you left behind for him

•Fyodor as your boyfriend hcs

•Nakajima Atsushi, Osamu Dazai, Doppo Kunikida, Edogawa Ranpo, and Yukichi Fukuzawa accidentally seeing their shy crush drawing them

•Misunderstanding(Dazai x reader)

•Reader is having a rough day and Kusuo is there to at least somewhat cheer them up(platonic)

•You and Saiki help each other to avoid suitors on valentines day(platonic)

•TWST drabble 1

•TWST drabble 2

•Vil, Kalim, Malleus and Azul with a s/o who’s like Sherlock Holmes/ William Moriarty from Moriarty the patriot

•Riddle,Leona,Idia and Deuce with a s/o who's like Sherlock Holmes/William Moriarty from Moriarty the patriot

•TWST drabble 3

•You and Jamil share a kiss under the fireworks ( based off theFirelit skies event)

•Doing Jamil's hair before basketball club activities

•Leona x reader comfort drabble

•Little things he does for you(NRC+RSA)

•Reader comforts Riddle before he has to go back home to his mother

•Giyu Tomioka with a crush hcs

•Spending time with sugawara after practise on a cold winter night

•“I feel your absence in everything that i do alone in every place i go without you”(Albert James Moriarty x reader)

•“You look amazing tonight”+“I won’t let anyone hurt you”(Miss Moneypenny x reader)

Crossover,AUs or other miscellaneous fics

•Twisted Wonderland x Ace Attorney (prologue)

[strangelyunfinshed]

In The Cold November Rain Part 12 *18+ MDNI*

Eddie Munson/FemReader Steve Harrington/FemReader 

TW: Story runs congruent to events in the show. If you know what happens in season 4, then you'll know how this will end.*Be warned.* 18+ Eventually Smut, Angst, High School Fuckery, Drinking, Drugs Let me know if I miss any.

Can you have two great loves in a lifetime? 

You've had the ideal childhood in Hawkins with your best friend & protector Steve Harrington. When it's ripped away, can you pick up the pieces? Eddie Munson may be able to help. 

A story about the pain of growing up, unrequited love, and loss. 

Part 12/13 Series Masterlist

Sincerest & Eternal Thanks To @loveshotzz, who's given me the great gift of helping me to become a better writter.

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To say you were a mess those first few weeks of school would be an understatement. Wandering campus like a ghost, only leaving your room to go to class and calling that a successful day. The dam burst the first time you heard Eddie's voice through the phone receiver. Choking through your tears, you tell him you can't do it and that you want to come home. In a tight, clipped voice, he reassured you that you could before rushing you off the phone. And he was right. After a few more weeks, you had made a few friends that coaxed you out of your dorm. Life changed to something approaching tolerable. He only took a few more of your calls, and then he was never home when you tried to reach him. Family obligations kept you from seeking him out over the three days you were home for Thanksgiving. Steve's parents attended your family's dinner, longing for something familiar, and you were disappointed he wasn't with them.

Marking a red line through the last final listed on your December calendar, you grab your bag and lock your dorm for the last time until you return for second semester in late January. A few of your new friends are driving you home and will stay the night in Hawkins before continuing on to Sesser the next day. They all want to check out the metal band you have not shut up about. As you pass the sign welcoming you to Hawkins, fireworks explode in your chest, and all your thoughts are of him.

"Dolly! You're back!" Lou yells as you and your friends walk through the door of The Hideout. "I sure am, Lou." Smiling, you lean against the bar. "And you brought your friends," he says, eyeing the three girls behind you.

"I had to take them to the best bar in Hawkins."

"Ain't you sweet. I better get you ladies served."

After taking care of your friends, Lou delivers your beer and leans over the bar crooking his finger at you. "Does he know you're here?" He asks in a low voice. "No. I wanted to surprise him." His lips pull in, leaving his mouth a thin line across his face. He throws his dish towel over his shoulder and moves down to the line to help another customer. Deciding to take seats at the bar, your friends talk and laugh while sipping their drinks, waiting for Corroded Coffin to start their set. The neon beer signs bathe everything in a red glow. Setting your beer on the sticky bar top with your shaking hands, you turn to face the stage, yearning for the moment when Eddie's eyes connect with yours. 

As the boys take the stage, your group claps, and whistles. As he looks in your direction, your heart beats faster, and your face lights up in a smile. But he looks right through you, a vacant expression on his face. His eyes move past you to something else, like he doesn't know you and doesn't want to. A sick, painful feeling starts in your stomach and radiates throughout your body. He's all you've dreamed about for months, and his cold eyes are full of apathy. 

"Maybe he didn't see you." Your friends try consoling you, but your face burns with embarrassment as he leaves the stage without a hint of acknowledgment. Lou gives you a sympathetic look as you push back from the bar and go in search of answers. When you find him, Eddie's leaning against the brick wall behind the bar, smoking a cigarette.

"What the fuck, Eddie?" But he just looks away. Something inside you snaps. You slap it out of his hand and start slapping at his chest. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're not even going to speak to me?" You yell, voice cracking, tears prickling behind your eyes. He raises his hands to protect himself. "Okay, Princess, that's enough." His voice snaps you out of it, and you step back, waiting for an explanation.

"You're acting like a spoiled brat," he says, bending to pick up his smoke.

"Me?" you practically stamp your feet which doesn't help your case, but you're way past rational.

"Yes, you. You don't get my attention when you want it and throw a fit. What was your plan here? Were you going to introduce me to your friends?"

"Yes! Yes! That was exactly what I was going to do."

"What were you going to say? Hey, guys, come meet the loser that used to scratch my itch." He mocks you.

"No! I told them you were my best friend, you ass!" You can feel your lips swell as the tears stream down your cheeks. 

"Then what? We fuck, and you leave again? No thanks. One goodbye fuck was enough."

"That's all it meant to you? I don't believe that. I don't fucking believe you!" 

His voice gets a little higher. "Did you really think we were going to have a happy ending? Are you still that fucking naive? That's not how the world works, Sweetheart." He throws down his butt and stomps it under his boot into the wet pavement.

The anguish is overwhelming. Crouching, you cross your arms over your knees, tucking your head inside. Practically curling into a ball while you mourn, crying for what is lost. His hands go around your biceps, pulling you up and into his chest, his cheek presses against the side of your head. He holds you, rocking you slowly like you would a child, and you let him because, despite his words, he's giving you what you need.

"I could have loved you so easily." He says into your ear. You stumble back, feeling like you were slapped. "It's a self-preservation thing." He turns his back to you and glides around as he explains. "You were the only one who didn't realize we had an expiration date. That clock was ticking from the first day we met. If I got too cozy, you would have fucking ruined me." He slaps a hand over his heart. "Total desiccation. I wouldn't have survived it. Couldn't let it happen, Princess. It's the one thing I won't give you."

"I would have done anything to be with you. Anything!" You screamed at him. "I would have stayed if you had asked me."

"I could never have asked you for that. I don't want to see your face the day you start looking at me the same way everyone else does. When you figure out this is all I'll ever be, that I have nothing to offer you."

"It's not-" 

"Stop it-"

"We could at least try‐"

"Fuck. Just stop‐"

"I want to tell you how I feel-"

"Enough! Goddam it! Just fucking stop!" 

Standing quietly in the night air, the noise from the bar a faint background, you try to get yourself under control. There's nothing left. You're hollow. Like a forgotten paper mache art project, someone touching you would poke right through, crumbling you into dust.

"So, what now?" You ask, your voice is steadier, but tears still run down your cheeks.

"Now we part as friends. Like we did before. You go back to school with your shiny new friends and have shiny fucking life. And old Ed will be right here in Hawkins. I'll end up working in some shitty factory that will fill my balls full of tumors before handing me a gold-plated watch. I'll die in that goddam trailer. But don't worry, you can come back and cry at my funeral, Princess."

Wiping your cheeks, you tip your chin up and walk slowly to him. His eyes close as you press a soft kiss to his unresponsive mouth.  

 "I did love you, you coward."

And that was it. It was the last time you saw him and the last thing you said to him. And now you're standing in Family Video eight months later with Steve Harrington, reliving it all.

"Can I talk to you for a minute in private? There are a few things I need to say to you." He says, looking over his shoulder at his co-worker, who quickly picks the magazine up and holds it in front of her face.

"Okay," you nod.

He tells his co-worker he's going on break. She practically breaks her neck, trying to get a look at you as he leads you outside and around the side of the building, close to where your Beetle is parked. The air is crisp but the sun warms your skin through your shirt. A few fallen leaves crackle as they blow around your feet. The highlights in his hair look golden in the afternoon sun.

"That thing's still running." He says with an easy smile tilting his head towards your car.

"She still purrs like a kitten." It's impossible to not fall back into the easy camaraderie of two people that have known each their whole lives.

"Look, I want you to know I really regret what happened in high school. I know I ruined things between us. You were right. All that stuff about being cool and being popular, it was all bullshit. I should have apologized to you a long time ago."

His arms are crossed over his chest, and he looks down at his feet. "You're not the only one with regrets. Everyone screws up in high school. You were a good friend to me for a long time, Steve."

"Was I? I don't think so." He says, rubbing the back of his neck. "I think I put you on this shelf and just thought you'd just stay there frozen in time until I decided to take you down and play with you. And then, when that thing with Eddie happened. Oof! I went into full dickhead mode."

 "I think we both had some pretty fucked up expectations of each other. I put a lot of pressure on you to clear the path for me and make sure I never got hurt. I wasn't your responsibility."

"You weren't some sort of burden for me. I wanted to look after you. I just did a shitty job of it."

"Maybe we can agree to let each other off the hook? I think we're probably stuck knowing each other for life. We've got time to figure out how to be friends again. If that's what you want?" He lets out a deep breath. "Of course I want that," He says with a smile, placing his hand on your head to ruffle your hair. 

"Hey, you're going to mess it up," you tease, lightly pushing him away. He seemed to relax after getting what he needed off his chest.

"I'm really sorry about Eddie. He was a really good guy." He says, squeezing your shoulder.

"What are you talking about?" A sick feeling rises up in your stomach.

"Oh shit, I thought you knew. No one told you?" His eyes are wide.

"Told me what, Steve?" Dread fills your chest. The shocked expression on his face tells you that you don't want to hear what's coming next.

"I don't know how to tell you this, but Eddie…died…in the earthquake."

"That's sick. That's the lowest…." Raising your arm, you knock his hand off your shoulder. "You're a fucking liar." His face is full of sympathy as his hands move your biceps holding you in place.

"I'm not lying. He's gone. I'm so sorry."

A high-pitched tone rings in your ears. His touch makes you feel boxed in, you need to leave now. There's no air here. Putting both hands on his chest, you push him as hard as you can and run toward your car. After tugging on the locked door, your shaking hands fumble with your keys, dropping them on the pavement. Steve is there beside you, scooping them up before you can get to them. 

"No. You can't drive. You're in shock."

Your legs give out. They just can't hold you anymore. Steve catches you before you fall. His words sink in, and you cry. You cry loud and hysterically, out of breath and hiccupping like a little kid. He holds you through it. Your tears and nose soak his shirt and keep coming. People walk by the two of you on the sidewalk and stop to stare, you're making a scene, but he doesn't let go. This time, he doesn't leave you. Once you've cried yourself out, numbness sets in. He can feel that you are holding your own weight and releases his grip. 

He puts your keys in his back pocket. "I'm going to drive you home. Just let me tell Robin. Can you be on your own for a minute?" Shaking your head yes, you lean against the Beetle. He dashes back inside. There is a fogginess in your head, and your eyes won't focus. All you see is Eddie, you feel him all around you, like a ghost reminding you of the love you wasted. 

Part 13

Tag List @boomhauer @onlyangel-444 @breehumbles @myobmaya @arsenicred @kiki17483 @stolen-in-moonlight @sometimesamysometimesjo @ladybug0095 @sammararaven @tlclick73 @totally-bogus-timelady @katelyndestini95 @munsonswhore86 @kelsietilley-blog

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Scorpio Season Overview for 🐞🐍⛲🐝ALL SIGNS

ASO☔️timeless bonus content always goes public at the end of every astrological season*, don't forget to check back~🌤 With the elements/signs of the zodiac, you can freely use your Sun, Moon, Rising/Ascendant, or even your Stellium (❗️) *21st November

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Scorpio season always brings about an intense release of aenergetic baggage. Old energies that are past their purpose must fall away like autumn leaves. Most Humans are attached to energies that are familiar, so losing learnt patterns or behaviours might feel like death itself. But in reality, you’re just creating a sacred space for welcoming new energies/habits/patterns that are bound to make you more energetic, productive, and generally happier with yourself.

You are the creator of your own Life, the writer of your history that someday becomes someone else’s inspiration. Be selfish enough to prioritise yourself when it comes to the weaving of your life stories. People who are honest with themselves (all the good and the bad) and are unapologetic about following their divine paths are often considered psychos. That’s fine, be psycho enough to kill yourself spiritually and die aenergetically to all—everything and everyone—that no longer serves (or deserves) you.

You are a Mother Goddess about to give birth to a freer, lighter, happier version of yourself. Scorpio is supporting you in removing all these dead leaves and be reborn🍂🍁Grow back as magick, bitch!🍄✨

Psycho Freedom for 🐞Fire Signs – Green Geographer (Gerardus Mercator)

Fire Signs are the most passionate peeps about their eccentric visions and life goals. Who’s to deny you the adventure of exploring your possibilities or testing your limits? The world is your oyster, so add a dash of lemon, salt and pepper and have a feast of an experience! Fear is the mind-killer. Ignore it. You are so much bigger and stronger than your fear. You are more capable than the fear has told you. Your anxiety is lying to you.

🐏Aries – 5 of Wands Rx

what’s died inwardly: Thoughts, ideas, and visions that had been gathered from many people/places throughout years of cultural brainwash and toxic societal expectations + limitations are gone out the window. You don’t need those ideas anymore. They’ve been an annoying noisy ringing in your mental space, causing lethargy from needing to use up a lot of mental power to calm down your chaotic mind. You feel strongly from within that something’s about to or has changed dramatically within the inner space of your being. Now that your boundaries are set up straight, you feel ready to face a brave new world that you know for certain will serve your character development. This here is your origin story!

what’s rebirthing outwardly: It is possible you will isolate yourself from the people you’ve known up until now. Other than that, it is possible you will leave a certain job or gig that’s been taking away too much spiritual power from you. You may even change locations or currently in the process of planning for a move. There’s a new beginning that’s taking up shape and you’re clearing up space to allow its unfurling in your Life. Some things may feel chaotic or unstable right now, but it’s only because you’re on a raft whilst building your ship. Yeah, it’s rocky here and there, every now and then, but you’re well on your way to a great adventure that is certain to give you so much spiritual fulfilment. Don’t be afraid. Don’t you dare give up. This is ONLY the beginning of a story of a millennium!

🦁Leo – 10 of Cups Rx

what’s died inwardly: False love freaking died. What you thought gave you a sense of security or a bond of a family, you realise now is just imprisonment. That is because the other party is selfish, unreasonable, uncompassionate, inflexible, and most of all, lacking empathy on a broad spectrum. You got tired of it; it’s been suffocating, to say the least. Your heart has been yearning for a closer bond, a community, that feels like true family. Sometimes you aren’t verbally clear about what you’re seeking, but you’re certain you’ll recognise it when it arrives because you know how it should feel like. You’re on your way to find your Soul Tribe, and along with that, uncovering your true purpose for being born here at this passage of time.

what’s rebirthing outwardly: You may have begun with self-love on this one. I think you’ve been living surrounded by people who don’t understand you, subsequently making you feel very unlovable. You may have dealt with some form of self-loathing, so now you’re learning to fully accept yourself—flaws and all. You’re rediscovering your true sense of self-worth and realising flawed people are also deserving of Love. Being flawed doesn’t mean you’re bad, horrible nor does it make you a villain. It just makes you human, what the heck. From this point of self-reflection, you gain personal empowerment and this becomes the origin story of your destined reunion with your Soul Family.

🎠Sagittarius – Knight of Cups

what’s died inwardly: Spiritual guidance is pouring in from the heavens. The heavens, essentially, can be experienced through quiet meditations. Not always the ‘aum’ kind of meditation. At moments you feel the most in touch with your emotions, you’re deciphering divine messages. Emotions are actually your guidance system, you know. In our world today, we’ve got so many male psychopaths that have painted a reality in which emotions are our weaknesses. Those psychos are the ones who are weak, because they can’t manage their own emotions, they become a victim to their emotions. A real strong individual knows that emotions point/direct towards what needs fixing or what’s worth keeping in his Life.

what’s rebirthing outwardly: Since you’re coming to honour your emotions more, there’s a sense of clarity that washes over you, regarding your Life’s true direction. Your emotions are pointing toward a goal or mission that you know from the depths of your Soul will satisfy you on a spiritual level. For achieving this goal, you know a lot about your past or who and what you’ve been up until this point must die. This is your confirmation that your intention to distance yourself from small minds is the right thing to uphold. Follow that. You’re really giving birth to a butterfly version of yourself. Butterflies don’t chit chat with caterpillars. Butterflies are busy being useful to the ecosystem whilst living their own glamorous lives. So don’t be afraid of being seen as a freak. A butterfly must look like a freak to caterpillars, right? ‘Why are you so, different from the rest of us?’ ‘Yeah, bitch, I’ve transformed!’

Mind Magick Transmutation🔻❤️👻

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Psycho Freedom for 🐍Earth Signs – Silver Magus (Merlin)

The strongest characteristic of all Earth Signs is tenacity. You are pragmatic, logical, realistic, and subsequently hardworking based on all these earthly perceptions. The Scorpio season is reminding you that everybody is a magician at the core of their being. There is magic that is accessible to you at this moment if you decide to develop more of your spiritual abilities. FYI, magick makes everything a tad easier and manifesting relaxed.

🐂Taurus – 4 of Wands Rx

what’s died inwardly: The people or work environment you thought were so meaningful and valuable to your whole existence have proven themselves to be nothing but a farce. It’s like, you’re wondering how it was possible to rejoice in all of that false fanfare when the reality was always much gloomier. You didn’t see it before. Something died within you when your heart got broken by other’s disregard of your genuineness. Like sand castles washed by the ocean waters, your make-believe ended. And now, you must sail across the ocean to find a new place of being. Somewhere you can feel appreciated and wholeheartedly welcomed like you truly belong. Where’s my Soul Tribe?

what’s rebirthing outwardly: I’m seeing an analogy of you planting new seeds. Seeds for a new manifestation, a new Reality that suits you better. You may even have scattered these seeds unconsciously. You have an intuitive feeling that some buds are about to grow above ground now. You want to take care of these new buds. When they grow into flowers and trees, you finally know that this is exactly the Reality you’ve created through your own honest visions. You’re a magician, you can create anything you want. You can have it all. You just need to be honest with yourself. As long as you remain loyal to your spiritual visions, all the world’s wealth is yours for the taking.

🧘🏻‍♀️Virgo – 8 of Pentacles

what’s died inwardly: You’re so hardworking and meticulous, on top of that, you care about others. You tend to take the burden of doing something really well because you enjoy relishing in your masterpiece of a hard work. But in a group setting, you may experience being the greatest contributor or best performer who doesn’t even get that much credit for how meticulously and carefully you’ve presented your work. This reality often dampens your spirit (or even hurt your feelings) but you always have the ability to pat yourself on the back and uplift your spirit all on your own. However, this Scorpio season seems to have brought about a death to this spirit of wanting to serve only others but not yourself.

what’s rebirthing outwardly: Being a good person essentially is about being of service to the community. It’s actually a very noble thing to think. You’ve not done wrong at all. This Scorpio season only wants you to balance that, and right now, there’s an aenergetic support for you to carve out a Life of your own. Perhaps you have a secret passion project you’ve been thinking of nurturing to maturity? Perhaps you’re needing a month-long holiday just to be with yourself? Stuff like that that focuses on you and you and you for the time being. I sense this energy may continue to be with you until some time in spring. You’re in need of some real soulful inspiration for navigating a Life that is honest to yourself. Actually, for what reason were born into this world? What kind of spiritual contribution can you deliver the world that will also satisfy you on a spiritual level?

🐐Capricorn – XIII Death

what’s died inwardly: Capricorn is surely a strong sign; its energies are so abundant with strength. You’re more capable than any other sign of enduring the storms of Life. But when that endurance keeps you stuck in bullshit situations, well… Wisdom is an entirely different thing than strength, right? Capricorn energies like to hold on to something because there’s this feeling of being a conqueror when you’ve managed to handle a situation or come out victorious of a tough one. But if you blindly follow that pattern without giving way to reason and smart calculations, you’re only hurting yourself and sabotaging your chance for real personal growth. I’m sensing that before Scorpio season even began, the Universe had been nudging you to allow certain things to die in your Life.

what’s rebirthing outwardly: New ways of living are being prepared for you this season. In fact, everything will lead to a renewed sense of being. That you can slow down and not fuck up a single thing. That you can take breaks and plans still work out as they should. It’s all about balancing ambition with love for yourself. There’s no ways goals and ambitions are more important than the individual who dreams them. As much as your projects or studies deserve care and nurture, so the person who works on them deserves respect and compassion. I think you’re slowly learning to balance this on the mindset level, so changing it just like that is not a walk in the park. But you’re moving in that direction anyway. Be light of heart, buddy. Enjoy life like a cat LMAO They’re relaxed because they know they’re magick.

Mind Magick Transmutation🔻💚👻

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Psycho Freedom for ⛲Air Signs – Gold Geographer (John Dee)

What would be the greatest happiness in your Life? Have you honestly thought to yourself the importance of personal happiness? It may sound selfish or self-centred, but if every individual in the world is satisfied and fulfilled, that in itself will lead to a peaceful society. As long as you’re not hurting people, as long as you’re clear enough that you ain’t a sociopath, it’s a good thing to focus on personal happiness. Release your mind from the imprisonment of modern slavery. Personal happiness is more important than your job or duties. Even the samurai had no honour; they actually went where the money was LOL

👯Gemini – Page of Cups

what’s died inwardly: You’re done being polite and entertaining other people’s offer of fun or good that’s actually below par. You’re done being mediocre and living amongst amateurs. You want to grow now. You want to be someone better, in all ways that are important to you on a deeply spiritual fashion. You want to broaden your horizon, to know what’s on the other side of the ocean. There’s still so much to learn and discover of this world, and you’ve been really excited about this idea of exploration. So pack up and catch the next ship that sails to a new world~ Have hope, pray for safety, and be expectant of wonderful new experiences! You are gathering stories!

what’s rebirthing outwardly: Some people will resonate with needing to leave behind people or places forever. Some of you will simply resonate with the travelling part but not the goodbye. I’m seeing the need for mature conversations with people you’re likely to leave behind temporarily. For example, if you’re still a student and need your parent’s approval on things. Basically, there’s a need to communicate ideas and hopes with honesty. Consider everybody’s feelings about the situation, but don’t let others override your expectant heart. Worrying about you is one thing, but being negative about every single thing and trying to stop you without clear reasons is just sabotage. Draw the line where you will take other people’s input but keep moving towards what you know to be right for you, if you’re guided by your Soul.

⚖️Libra – 7 of Pentacles

what’s died inwardly: You’re the zodiac’s politest and most civil one. You have this tendency of waiting for your turn politely so as not to cross another’s chance. Of course that’s a wonderful trait no matter how you look at it. But the real world is more like a war and this world ain’t ideal; too many people are hurtful and selfish and they aren’t afraid to step on your toe to get where they need to be. So you also must die to your own self-containment because too much of it is really stopping you from reaching the top of the pyramid… figuratively. No more waiting, especially waiting for other people’s approval, and no more pausing just so you don’t inconvenience other people. That’s all out the window now.

what’s rebirthing outwardly: Patience is key when dealing with people, but at the same time, you need to also draw a line. You can’t suppress all of your unpleasant emotions to keep the peace around you only for them to destroy you from the inside. What’s noble about that? People who can’t respect or love themselves will not get that from anyone else. So right now, I sense this Scorpio season is giving you a space for you to really think about this whole ‘power struggle’ between you and other people. Librans struggle with this absolutely weird concept of civility vs barbaric conducts… I dunno, man. It seems paralysing to think about. You need to meditate and think this through with complete honesty. What’s your role in society?

🏺Aquarius – 4 of Cups Rx

what’s died inwardly: Being under the dominant influence of Aquarius means you are often in your headspace. You are the oldest Air sign so intellect itself is a big part of your entire being. However, being too often and too much in your headspace can easily cause you a lethargy of sort. Really, it’s not that difficult to see why: your brain activities eat up to 20% of energy on a daily basis. When you’re Aquarius who thinks too much, that percentage is probably higher so you get tired more easily(?)LOL But on top of that, know that thoughts are often an enemy to our positive self-concept. Human beings are often victims of their own thought patterns. Dunno; the world is too negatively polarised, I guess. Bruce Lee said: ‘Think less, feel more~’ You’re being guided to enjoy your Life more on the basis of your emotions now than your logic.

what’s rebirthing outwardly: Think less, feel more. Try to breathe deeply every so often, and maybe even carve out a minute or two just for that. You may want to take up new hobbies that are usually outside your normal field of interest. You may want to change certain habits or build new habits altogether. Pro tip: it can take anywhere from 18 days to 25 days to solidify a new habit. The reason behind this extreme variation is the background of the individual who’s working to build these habits. You may be slower or faster than someone else when it comes to manifesting new habits. The modifiers are your experiences and your base psychology. So don’t get too worked up on pace. All in all, your reading sounds the most like advice because you’re currently needing a lot of clarity to figure out your path ahead. But Scorpio season is really allowing you more than anyone else a space/period to wind down and find your bearing in this misty new beginning.

Mind Magick Transmutation🔻💙👻

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Psycho Freedom for 🐝Water Signs – Silver Astronomer (Galileo Galilei)

Love is an equal give-and-take. It will always be that way. As much as you give to the other person, as much you receive from them because they feel the same way, too. True Love is fulfilling as it is unselfish nor is it a martyr. Anything that isn’t this, isn’t Love. You are learning to distinguish the spectrum of Human emotions and recognise what is and isn’t of Love.

🦀Cancer – 10 of Wands

what’s died inwardly: Cancer likes drama, which is why it attracts drama. Emotionally draining drama. You’re sensitive but at the same time dead, so you like to go after the adrenaline rush of an emotionally charged situation because it’s the only thing that makes you feel alive. It’s hurting you tho, and it’s hurting everybody else. Some time ago you realised it’s exhausting to live like that, and now the Universe is supporting you in developing more of your intellectual side to perceive the world. Not to abandon all feelings obviously, but to balance your worldview. Being a Water sign, emotions are your strengths; but if you allow yourself to drown in them, you’re a hopeless case. You shouldn’t be a slave to your emotions.

what’s rebirthing outwardly: A renewed sense of empowerment is birthing. You know you have these hobbies that you genuinely enjoy on a spiritual level. It could be sports or a creative endeavour; anything really. You’re likely to shift your attention more to them and nurture your hobbies because they simply give you a breath of life. And that’s important. You’re going to quit being so afraid of strange consequences that might be the result of following your Heart. Have you ever heard anybody said they regret following their heart’s true passions? I really don’t think that’s even possible. Here is your new beginning, or a restart/refresh. Take advantage of Scorpio’s selfish energy and begin manifesting your dreams~!

🦂Scorpio – XV The Devil Rx (can I laugh?)

what’s died inwardly: Having a strong undercurrent of Scorpio usually gives you a lot of experiences dealing with the darkness of the world. You may have faced a lot of very dark situations or get entangled with dark people who do dark things in society. The biggest lesson is usually about whether or not you’re going to allow yourself to get absorbed into the dark dealings of society. This Scorpio season—your season—may have given you a lot of opportunities to reflect upon this of yourself. Have you made a clear statement about who you are, what you were born to do and what you want to focus on as a result of that deep reflection? As you do that you will feel liberated from the influences of every other person who doesn’t resonate with you on a much higher spiritual level.

what’s rebirthing outwardly: Though there are aenergetic forces that will make you ponder all of that, at the end of the day, as a free individual capable of reason, you will have to make a decision. You’re the one who has to go through the thinking process and deep reflections on the whole concept of you vs the world. Only when you understand your deepest desires and find the courage to stick by them to make them all happen, can the Universe give you the green light to smoothly pursue this path. This path that you have chosen with a clear conscience. Don’t be afraid; you’re not a bad person. You can have whatever you want!

🎏Pisces – Knight of Pentacles Rx

what’s died inwardly: Knight of Pentacles can speak of sacrifices. In your case, being Pisces, you’re actually super accommodating to other people. Maybe on an emotional landscape, or the way you’re always extending a helping hand or lending an ear to other’s concerns. In that way, you’re super self-sacrificing because you want to make other people feel good. Feel heard and seen. But sometimes, they don’t give you back what you’ve given them, even when you explicitly ask for advice or help. This has to stop now. The days of Pisces being a martyr are gone. We’re in a new paradigm of self-love. You give to yourself before you share with others.

what’s rebirthing outwardly: A typical possibility is that you’re going to shield yourself from the demands of others. I know a lot of people are currently going through the same selection process when it comes to keeping important people around and weeding parasites. Continue to do that because as you purify your energetic field, you’re making space for a lot of better things to occupy that vacant space. Work with magickal ways to manifest as Pisces really doesn’t need to use logic that much. Logic actually only hampers or slows down your manifestation. Keep the faith and keep going based on what your intuition tells you. No need to get stressed out by anything because you’re moving towards brighter days~

Mind Magick Transmutation🔻💛👻

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K is for Kink

Author’s Note: Hi everyone, here's another installment in our Kinktober alphabet, which will probably spillover into November at the rate I'm going.

Word Count: 2,068

Masterlist

Steve Rogers Alphabet Masterlist

Warnings: Smut, explicit writing, Steve Rogers being a completely horny mess, 18+ readers only, minors dni

K is for Kink

From mild to surprising, here are five of Steve’s kinks.

Praise Kink

Steve Rogers has a praise kink. Who’s surprised by this? No one. Giving and receiving praise is a turn on for him. You joke that words of affirmation are his bedroom love language, and it’s kind of true. He wants you to hear how beautiful you are and how much you mean to him. If not while you're making love, when else would he say those things? He tries to tell you how beautiful you are outside of the bedroom too, but he gets flustered. You can put the super soldier serum into the shy kid from Brooklyn, but you can’t take the shy kid from Brooklyn out of the super soldier. He still fumbles for words and blushes. When he’s aroused, the words come easier, hence what you refer to as his “praise kink.”

Bondage Kink

His second kink is bondage. He was hesitant about tying you up, but the trust you were offering him, just by asking to be restrained, was an unexpected turn on. Your offer to be completely vulnerable with him during such an intimate activity was arousing. Steve prizes your trust above everything else. He associates your trust with respect, and in his mind, respect is connected to love, because he could never love someone he couldn’t respect. After you ask and he thinks the proposition over, he’s struck by a yearning for bondage. He wants total surrender, and he wants you to offer it to him. When he agrees to tie you up, he asks you to tell him exactly how you want the night to go. To Steve, your satisfaction is a responsibility. Some men considered pleasing their lover as a goal, something they aimed for and wanted. For Steve, it’s a duty and a privilege. Once he has you tied to the bed frame by your wrists and ankles, the feeling of responsibility strikes him again. This is as helpless as you could be, and he loves that you want this with him. He takes bondage seriously and chooses soft restraints, padded with a silk lining. He wants you restrained, not harmed. Never harmed. And then he discovers dominance.

Dominance suits Steve. He gives orders and bosses you around like you had been assigned to his command. It allows you to relax, and he can sense the mental weight that lifts off your shoulders when he tells you what he wants you to do. Whenever he takes control and dominates you, either in bondage or without restraints, you fall asleep as soon as he’s finished. Steve doesn’t mention it, but whenever he notices you’re not sleeping well, he makes plans to dominate you. Even though he doesn’t say anything, you notice and find it adorable. Hot and sexy, of course. But also adorable. Steve has no clue how naturally dominance suits him. His cure for your occasional insomnia proves it.

Breeding Kink and Pregnancy Kink

When you told him he had a breeding kink, Steve rejected the idea that such a thing could be considered kinky. Human beings had a biological desire to procreate. Not all of them, but many people felt the urge. You shook your head - it’s totally a kink. He rolls his eyes and tells you that a “kink” is supposed to be unconventional. What he considers a kink is his attraction to the idea of you being pregnant. That was a curveball he hadn’t expected. He had never thought about pregnant women in any particular way before. They existed. Unless the condition was advanced and obvious, he frequently didn’t notice a baby bump. When he saw one in public, his old-fashioned manners kicked in, and he always gave up his seat. That was the extent of his thoughts on pregnancy until the idea of you being pregnant occurred to him. His child would get to live inside of you, would make you round and swollen. Your breasts would swell too, engorging from the hormones and then with milk, because your body was holding a part of him. The baby he’d given you, because you’d asked him for it and wanted him to be its father. He gets painfully hard at the idea of your changing body and the excitement of waiting for the child’s arrival. Steve starts reading about pregnancy on the sly, using the incognito browser to learn about the condition. You’re not ready yet, but when you are, he’s going to be prepared.

Lactation Kink

This one is what Steve would consider a proper “kink.” It’s unconventional and somewhat bizarre. He never had it until he started doing the pregnancy research. The pregnancy kicked in and he began having fantasies about you in that condition. Until the dream, he hadn’t had an inclination towards your breasts that was motivated by anything beyond basic male desire.

He has a dream about you and his baby. In the dream, you’re doing the night feeding. The sight is sweet and soft and wholesome. When you’re finished, you hand him over to Steve. He settles the baby on his shoulder, with the cloth draped to catch the spit up, and pats it on the back, burping him. The baby goes down for the night easily and he flips on the mobile above the crib to play a quiet violin song before he leaves the room.

He doesn’t see the plot twist coming. The dreamworld has him in its grip and he’s entranced by the banal events of flipping on the shower in your ensuite for his evening shower. You’re curled up with your pillow when he comes to bed, but he hears the soft whimper. At first he thinks it's the baby monitor and checks the screen on the nightstand. Your baby is such a good sleeper and tonight is no different.

“Hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

His concern is immediate when he hears the distressed noise again and recognizes that it had come from you. The baby didn’t finish his night feed before falling asleep. You’re not even halfway to his next feeding time and you’re painfully swollen. Your breasts are full of milk, hard and aching. It’s not the baby’s fault for being such a good sleeper - he’s a newborn, that’s his job. But it hurts so much.

Steve offers to get the pump, but you’re over producing, and the fridge is full. You groan, looking so uncomfortable that he feels awful.

“Would it help if I took some?”

“Fuck yes, anything to avoid that stupid pump.”

The suction settings do not agree with you. He knows that, but the immediate agreement makes him harden for reasons that are anything but practical.

When he latches on and sucks deeply, you gasp and clench your fingers in his hair.

“Please, Steve. Be gentle, I’m really tender. Your son is kind of intense about eating.”

“Little bastard. He should be nicer to his mama. I’ll have a talk with him, doll. Let me help you out.”

Your rosy nipple is fuller than he remembers it. He squeezes the base of your breast, working the taunt flesh to get you to let down. When he draws on your nipple again, he’s more careful. Your taste hits his mouth, and he moans, forgetting his promise to be gentle. Suckling at your tit is sensual and erotic, the emotion heightened by the unforeseen pleasure he’s currently experiencing as you fill his mouth. You whimper and it draws him up short until he realizes you’re enjoying the ministrations.

“Is this good for you, baby? You’re feeling better?”

“Oh, Steve, don't stop. Please… empty me out. I’m so full. I need you to ease the pressure.”

“Okay, doll. I’m right here. I’ll suck you dry. These beautiful breasts don’t have to hurt. I’m gonna nurse every drop out of those raw nipples and lick you clean. I won’t stop until you’re done.”

Later, as he’s trying to come to terms with his peculiar desire, he realizes that it’s not so surprising after all. He loves your breasts. They’re his favorite part of your body. Now that you’re a mother, your breasts have a job. If he wants to enjoy them, well, he might end up with a mouth full of milk. He would stop, if it were affecting the baby or made you uncomfortable. But it’s helping you manage your oversupply. Steve can make you comfortable and the hated breast pump doesn’t get used more than it has to be. What’s so different about sucking your breasts and licking up your pussy juices. He’s ravenous for the latter, and this new production is just as much a part of you. Steve becomes comfortable with the idea and makes it a habit to unburden your heavy breasts every night that you’re nursing. He’s not after the milk, but he does like the sweet taste. The kink is about his love for your breasts and the appreciative murmurs that tell him you’re getting relief because of him. His mouth is softer than the breast pump and without as much suction, your nipples feel better. Two weeks later, when you tell him how much better you’re feeling since he’s been helping you, Steve glows with satisfaction.

Submission Kink

Now, for the submission kink. This one is a shocker. He has a dominant streak, which appears early in the relationship. The submissive streak comes out later. After a rough mission, he comes home stressed. So stressed that he can’t focus. He feels cranky and angry and he tries to avoid you, lest he accidentally erupt. His control is hanging by a fraying thread and he’d prefer you at a distance in case he detonates.

You seek him out, sensing the emotions he’s repressing. Still reeling from the violence he experienced and the frustration that’s so bottled up, he can’t express it. There are emotions bouncing around inside of him, most of which he refuses to indulge in. Self pity, hatred, and an overarching sense of dread, wrapped up inside a nasty case of the jitters. He tells you he wants to be alone, but there’s a tiny problem - adrenaline. He’s hard as a rock, sporting a painful erection that won’t ease.

He stiffens when you order him to the bedroom, irked by your demand. His reply is cut off when you grab the shoulder strap on his sleuth suit and drag him down the hall. When you unfasten the hidden zippers and start peeling away the layers, his heart skips a beat. Suddenly his irritation is forgotten, replaced with savage need.

You see the glimmer of shock flicker through his eyes as his cheeks turn pink.

“Steve? Are you enjoying being bossed around?”

“I… ah… sort of… you’re hot when you know what you want.”

Your eyes go sultry. “I do. I know exactly what I want. I want you flat on your back with your hands behind your head, soldier.”

He complies, but as you’re crouching over him to ride him, he reaches for your hips. You pull away, glaring.

“No, Steve. No touching.”

“But I want…”

“You’re no longer the captain, Steve. I’m in charge. And I say your hands go behind your head. No touching. I’m doing all the touching tonight.”

His pupils are blown wide and his shoulders move with every breath.

“Please, baby. I need you.”

“You’ll have me. I’m going to take care of you, we’ll get you nice and relaxed. But first, your hands go behind your head.”

He puts them back. When you ride him, he’s wild underneath you, desperate for release. It’s one of those nights when his cock won’t go soft even after three rounds. You’re still on top and you haven’t let him touch you.

“Doll, you’re tired. Let me take over.”

“No, Steve. I’ve got you right where I want you. Come for me again, honey. Come inside me. Let me take all that stress away. Don’t think about anything, just let go, give it to me.”

He realizes after that night that sometimes he needs to be out of control. So much of his life is about being in charge. Occasionally, he needs to be stripped down to pure animal urges and get out of his own head. Submission with you as a gentle dom, praising him and giving him pleasure, sends him into a relaxation like no other.

- - - - -

Next Letter - L is for Location

Steve Rogers Alphabet masterlist

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Tag List: Please confirm for me that you are over 18 by direct message. This is required before I tag anyone in explicit content.

@harrysthiccthighss @patzammit @mariestark @fckdeusername @badassbaker @elrw24 @shamelessfangirl-3 @meetmeatyourworst @mrsdeanwinchester19 @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

[deathbydyingpod]

Enough of Zodiac signs and moon-risings, what’s your Crestfall Insignia?

JANUARY – Shadow in the Dark Woods: Deranged, hypnotic eyes, loves animals, or potentially is an animal. Filled with life, always seeking new, questionable experiences. Should lay in the sun more often.

FEBRUARY – Still-Beating Heart in a Jam Jar: Loving, self-sacrificing, excessively into poetry. Sees the best in everyone. You like to stare into the foggy, middle distance with a sense of melancholic yearning, but you’re also down to hang. Please get therapy.

MARCH – Some Sentient, Earthy Mass I Found in My Backyard: I don’t know what you are. You whisper things in the dead of night. I’m not sure why I invited you inside, you won’t leave. You’re still curled up on a beanbag in a dark corner enjoying a good book.

APRIL – Man-Eating Cat: You are adorable chaos incarnate. We watch you destroy and devour and then give you little head scratches. A ball of fluff with an air of danger. Unassuming and friendly, but secretly, and sometimes not so secretly, an admirer of the dark and perverse. I love you, I fear you.

MAY – A Human Skull Growing Off a Rosemary Bush: Surprising, natural, smiling in a way that is difficult to interpret. You show up in unexpected places and delight and tantalize in your unique strangeness. We didn’t ask for you, but you are what we needed, and we love having you around. Should probably grow some skin at some point.

JUNE – Loose Death Cannon: Consistent, reliable, but can be explosive at times. We need to learn how to dodge your literal and metaphorical cannonballs, or maybe you should just learn to aim better, but you’re lively and definitely totally not deadly at all…

JULY – Rogue Piece of Flesh That Miraculously Hasn’t Rotted Yet: You’re resilient, tender, and most likely dissociating right now. Doesn’t tan well in the sun, spends too much time in the dirt, but loves a fun time despite needing some convincing to have a fun time.

AUGUST – Crime-Solving Goat: You’re unstoppable. You’re astute, curious, and shed too much. Enjoys the excitement of the unknown and harbers a tragic past. Loves making friends, is happy to be here, and forms deep attachments to the endearingly nefarious.

SEPTEMBER – Eldritch Potato God: It’s a rising concern that you are overpowered. You came from the ground, you came from outer space. Your all-seeing eye is hungry for knowledge, and desires worship. Wants the world, and we’ll give it to you, but must moisturize daily.

OCTOBER – Phantom Bicycle: Fiercely loyal, haunting and haunted, loves a midnight stroll. Feels held by the cover of nightfall, but could use a sunrise every now and then. Generously kind, often spooky, but needs to remember to let other people put air in their tires sometimes.

NOVEMBER – Button-Eyed Raven: Dreary, edgy soft boy who loves crafts. An omen, a harbinger of the end, a great addition to any friend group. You’re a little rough around the edges, but you’re always there… Ugh, you’re ALWAYS there.

DECEMBER – The Abyss Stares Back: Comforting, immense, the only true thing on this mortal coil. You love giving gifts and existential crisises. Infinitely deep and we could get lost in those eternal, beautiful, terrifying eyes. And oh god how the eyes are everywhere.

[nordleuchten]

24 Days of La Fayette - December 24th: Doctor James McHenry

I hope that everybody who celebrates Christmas has a most happy and blessed day!

There were no posts these last few days because life simply got in the way. But they will follow in a few days. :-)

On this last day we focus on the most famous (and probably the most beloved by the modern audience) aide-de-camp of La Fayette – Doctor James McHenry. I purposely kept the part about his life before and after his tenure as aide-de-camp to La Fayette brief. Not because there is not enough information, quite the contrary – McHenry was very involved in the politics and social life of the young Republic, and one could fill volumes with his life and actions.

He was born on November 16, 1753 in Dublin and was educated there before emigrating to Philadelphia in 1771. After a short pause, he continued to study medicine under Doctor Benjamin Rush, one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence. He joined the war effort out of patriotism for his new home and worked at the American Continental Hospital in the fall of 1775 before being appointed surgeon for the 5th Pennsylvania Regiment on August 10, 1776. He was captured during the assault on Fort Washington on November 16 of the same year and spend his time treating fellow prisoners of war. McHenry was part of a prisoner exchange in March of 1778, and he returned to the army and served as a surgeon during the encampment in Valley Forge. In May of 1778 he accepted George Washington’s offer to become one of his assistant secretaries. Two years later, in 1780, McHenry was yearning for a change.

James McHenry wrote to George Washington on July 18, 1780:

I would beg leave to mention to your Excellency, a matter, in which I feel too much to be longer without laying it before you. The approaching campaign opening an interesting field, makes me desirous to appear, in a more military character, than that I now hold. I have also had before me for some time past, a prospect of visiting Europe; and especially those places where our interest is most cherished: And as my present character, of secretary, is not in the same estimation, there, as with us, I would therefore request your Excellency, that I may be considered as a volunteer. Hitherto, I have acted without pay, and it is my intention to receive none in future, unless some alteration in my circumstances render it necessary. If I receive your permission, to come as a volunteer, or accept such a station in the army as may place me, wholly, in a military light, I shall be happy, because, in it, I combine, with what I owe myself, that duty proper to my country.

“To George Washington from James McHenry, 18 July 1780,” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of George Washington, Revolutionary War Series, vol. 27, 5 July–27 August 1780, ed. Benjamin L. Huggins. Charlottesville: University of Virginia Press, 2019, pp. 175–176.] (12/21/2022)

In alignment with McHenry’s remarks that he desired a more “hands-on” position in the army and desired to be employed in a military position, he transferred to La Fayette’s staff in August of 1780 and became the Marquis’s voluntary aide-de-camp. While an aide-de-camp was still a far cry from a field-command, the position was more military than the position of a secretary.

Alexander Hamilton wrote to James Duane on July 22, 1780:

I take the liberty my Dear Sir to request your interest for a friend of mine and a member of the family, Dr McHenry. He wishes to quit a Station which among foreigners is not viewed in a very reputable light and to get into one more military. He will go into the Marquis’s family as an aide. He has been in the army since the commencement of the War—first in the medical line, since the 15th of May 78, as a Secretary to the Commander in Chief. You know him to be a man of Sense and merit. A more intimate acquaintance with him makes me hold him as such in an eminent degree. He has now no military existence properly speaking—no rank. I believe he is not immoderate.

“From Alexander Hamilton to James Duane, [22 July 1780],” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of Alexander Hamilton, vol. 2, 1779–1781, ed. Harold C. Syrett. New York: Columbia University Press, 1961, pp. 363–364.] (12/21/2022)

In his new position, McHenry was a direct witness to one if not the greatest scandal during the American Revolution – McHenry was at the breakfast table with Benedict Arnold when Arnold received the letter informing him of John André capture. La Fayette wrote to the Chevalier de La Luzerne on septembre 26, 1780:

When we left Fishkill yesterday we were preceded by one of my aides-de-camp and the aide of General Knox, who found General and Mrs. Arnold at table and joined them for breakfast. While they were there, two letters were brought to General Arnold informing him of the capture of a spy. He ordered a horse to be saddled, then went upstairs to his wife to tell her he was ruined, and commanded his aide-de-camp to tell General Washington that he was going to West Point and would return within an hour.

Idzerda Stanley J. et al., editors, Lafayette in the Age of the American Revolution: Selected Letters and Papers, 1776–1790, Volume 3, April 27, 1780–March 29, 1781, Cornell University Press, 1980, pp. 179-180.

It was around the same time that McHenry set out to secure a fixed rank for himself, since under La Fayette he was only employed as a volunteer. He benefited in his endeavor from the help of his former fellow staff-member, Alexander Hamilton. Philip Schuyler wrote to Alexander Hamilton, his future son-in-law, on September 16, 1780:

I have communed with the Governer on the Subject of McHenrys wish; he is very much disposed to use his Influence on the occasion but doubts if he should be able to obtain a lieutenancy unless the Ensigns that now are could all be provided for. If McHenry merely wants military rank for the campaign and will not accept of an Ensigncy, The Governor can and will give him a Lieut Colonelcy in the State levies, which will always give him rank in our militia and Consequently in the army when the militia is in the field; but this must be determined before the legislature rises; please therefore to desire McHenry to write me on the Subject without delay, and to assure him of my best services in my power.

“To Alexander Hamilton from Philip Schuyler, 16 September 1780,” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of Alexander Hamilton, vol. 2, 1779–1781, ed. Harold C. Syrett. New York: Columbia University Press, 1961, pp. 432–434.] (12/21/2022)

Congress eventually granted James McHenry the rank of Major (although not everybody was exactly happy with this agreement) in April of 1780. General Greene had spoken out in McHenry’s favour and had possible tipped the scale in McHenry’s favour.

Report

9th and 10th That Tench Tilghman Esq: receive the Commission of Lieut. Colonel to take Rank from and Doctor McHenry the Commission of Major to take Rank from.

Remarks

9th—and 10th—Mr Tilghmans Commission to be dated the 1st of april 1777. Mr McHenrys from the time at which Genl Greene applied in his favr—(last Octobr).

“Report and Remarks, 3 April 1781,” Founders Online, National Archives, [This is an Early Access document from The Papers of George Washington. It is not an authoritative final version.] (12/21/2022)

In the General Orders for June 5, 1781 we can read the following:

That Doctor James McHenry receive the Commission of Major in the Army of the United States to take rank from the 30th of October last.

“General Orders, 5 June 1781,” Founders Online, National Archives, [This is an Early Access document from The Papers of George Washington. It is not an authoritative final version.] (12/21/2022)

General Greene was an important proponent of McHenry’s and wrote to George Washington on May 3, 1781:

When I was appointed to the command of this army, I solicited Congress to give Doctor McHenry a majority that he might serve me in the character of an aid. This they refused. I was perswaded when I made the application of the necessity, and since have felt it, most sensibly. Your Excellency can scarsely tell how happy you are in your family and therefore can hardly judge of my situation. I cannot make a second application to Congress upon this subject, nor should I have hopes of succeeding if did, but I shall esteem it a peculiar mark of your Excellency[s] friendship and esteem if you will interest yourself in the matter and get him a Majority.

“To George Washington from Nathanael Greene, 1 May 1781,” Founders Online, National Archives, [This is an Early Access document from The Papers of George Washington. It is not an authoritative final version.] (12/21/2022)

Washington had been aware of Congress initial refusal and was quite angry at the time. He had written to Joseph Jones on January 27, 1781:

I was concerned when I came to Congress to hear so small a favor was refused Genl Greene then going to his new Command as that of granting his request respecting Dr McHenry—from my conversation with Gentlemen on the subject many think the Genl shod have been indulged and if it [can] be done the question will probably be revived This however the Dr shod not be acquainted with least the attempt shod be unsuccessfull.

“To George Washington from Joseph Jones, 27 February 1781,” Founders Online, National Archives, [This is an Early Access document from The Papers of George Washington. It is not an authoritative final version.] (12/21/2022)

Although this affair left some aftertaste, life went on with McHenry as a Major under La Fayette – who was very warmly attached to McHenry. La Fayette wrote on February 15, 1781:

Every Body Says You Are Going to Get Into the Governor's Council. If You Quit the House for the field, I shall Be Very Happy to obtain the Preference in Your Military Employements, and Hoping You know My tender friendship and affectionate Regard for You, will Not lengthen this letter with Assurances from My Heart While the Heart itself must Be known to You. 10 I intend to write You Again in a few days and with Every Sentiment of Attachement and Esteem Have the Honor to be Yours

Idzerda Stanley J. et al., editors, Lafayette in the Age of the American Revolution: Selected Letters and Papers, 1776–1790, Volume 3, April 27, 1780–March 29, 1781, Cornell University Press, 1980, pp. 322-325.

La Fayette was alluding to the fact that McHenry tried to become a member of the Maryland Council. This appointment never came to pass but he instead became a member of the Maryland Board of War and La Fayette often commented in his letters, how industrious McHenry was on behalf of Maryland. His diplomatic ties and great patriotic zeal brought him in an ideal position to function as a liaison officer between La Fayette and civil authorities in Maryland in Virginia. He served under La Fayette during the complete Virginia campaign and during the Battle of Yorktown.

Towards the end of 1781 Nathanael Greene wrote to La Fayette and asked if McHenry may be transferred into his own staff. La Fayette replied to the request on August 12, 1781:

My Dear General

I Have Received Your letters Concerning Mr. McHenry, And Have Considered them with that Attention I pay to Every thing that Concerns You, and that interest which is founded upon My Most affectionate friendship.

McHenry is So well Acquainted with My Sentiments for Him that He knows My attachement is independant of whatever Steps He Might take on the occasion. He knows I am not of a temper that finds faults with the Measures of My friends, and that I will ever feel an obligation to the Man who obliges General Greene.

Give me leave to observe, My dear Sir, that upon Every principle

which Makes Mr. McHenry Useful to you, He Must in My Circumstances Be Still more useful to me. I May add that Clel. Nevill and Mr. Langhorne Being prisoners, I Have No aid de Camp But McHenry and Washington, But I am willing to give up My interest to your wishes, and McHenry's Remaining Some time with me is owing to an other Circumstance.

He is far from Being determined to Accept of a Military Commission. He Has Expectations of a Seat in the Senate and would much prefer it. This will Be determined Next Month and was He Now to join you it would Seem He Renounces an object which He expects without Sollicitation But which He would Seem to give up By going to So far a Distance.

The Matter Being Such Stated, My dear general, You will Be able to determine what to wish. You ask My Consent, and I Give itHeartly or to speak Better affectionately for tho' I will Be glad He joins you I Cannot Help Being Sorry to part from Him. But I Sincerely think if He Has no Senatorial prospects He ought to pay you a visit. It is His Intention, and I will not only Consent But join with you and with Him in that desire and that opinion. Should I go to France towards the End of the winter, and Should He wish to devote that time to travels I am Sure you would Return me the Sentiment I evince to you when I advise McHenry to join for a time your family. With the Most tender affection Your friend for ever

Idzerda Stanley J. et al., editors, Lafayette in the Age of the American Revolution: Selected Letters and Papers, 1776–1790, Volume 4, April 1, 1781–December 23, 1781, Cornell University Press, 1981, pp. 318-219.

Greene had previously on July 24, 1781 written to McHenry:

I wish you with me exceedingly; but there is no inconvenience to which I will not subject my self to oblige the Marquis

Idzerda Stanley J. et al., editors, Lafayette in the Age of the American Revolution: Selected Letters and Papers, 1776–1790, Volume 4, April 1, 1781–December 23, 1781, Cornell University Press, 1981, p. 319.

Since McHenry was elected to the Senate of Maryland on September 12, 1781, he never joined Greene’s staff and resigned his commission in December of that year. He would continue to have a prosperous career as a physician as well as a politician. Among other things, he served as Secretary of War, both under President George Washington and under President John Adams.

James McHenry died on May 3, 1816.

[romancemedia]

Beauty and the Beast Turns 31 Years Old!

On November 13th 1991, Belle is a bright, beautiful and intelligent young woman, who yearns for a more exciting life away from her small French village and to find those who accept and understand her until, she finds herself embarking on an unexpected chapter of her life. When her father is captured by a monstrous Beast, Belle takes his place and becomes the Beast’s prisoner in his castle and finds real friends among his enchanted staff. Although Belle and the Beast do not get off to a great start, Belle discovers a true heart behind his ferocious exterior and that love can be found in the most unexpected places of all.

[apiscircensis]

I had been meaning to draw some updated portraits of my twst fcs so I went ahead and drew portraits and wrote short bios for all of the ones I have so far

this is part one, mi main fcs, the octacrew

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

bio transcripts and links to full bios under the cut

Blake Margolis

Octavinelle Dorm School Year: Third Birthday: July 9 Zodiac Sign: Cancer Age: 18 Height: 183cm Dominant Hand: Right Club: Film Studies Club Best Subject: Magic Pharmacology Hobbies: Trying on clothes Pet Peeves: Being looked down upon Favorite Food: Apples Least Favorite Food: Pottage Talents: Giving pep-talks

"If you have something to say, I might be saying something as well."

Hedonistic and vain. He has an appreciation for the finer things in life but not necessarily the taste for them, caring more about appearances than actual quality. He's probably maintaining the local designer knock offs market all by himself.

He is cunning and persuasive, getting along well with his younger/weaker/less talented classmates, whom he sweet talks into doing his bidding. He's greedy but not selfish, and is willing, even happy, to share his exploits with those he finds worthy of his grace.

He is loudly friendly and over familiar to people he finds interesting. Loves gossip and meddling in people’s businesses, both for fun and for the chance of finding out things that can be used as leverage.

He brings along his familiar, a capuchin monkey named Jacob who is a cute little pillager of pockets and general bringer of mayhem.

Inspired on Hector Barbossa (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl)

[full bio]

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Morgan Heerser 

Octavinelle Dorm School Year: Third Birthday: February 28 Zodiac Sign: Pisces Age: 18 Height: 168cm Dominant Hand: Ambidextrous Club: Board game club Best Subject: Magic History Hobbies: Gambling Pet Peeves: Liars Favorite Food: Shrimp, pastries Least Favorite Food: Stale bread Talents: Playing the piano

"Are you prepared for what's next?”

He’s gloomy, distant, and temperamental and is perfectly willing to demonstrate it. He has little patience for incompetence and becomes angry easily when people get on his nerves. He values loyalty and a strong will.

Though he was knowledgeable about it, he had no actual experience with life on land before coming to the NRC, and his human body can be a bit frail. His true merman form however is massive and incredibly strong.

Despite being a reclusive loner, he’s also a hopeless romantic. He’s an avid reader of poetry and lover of music. Though he would never admit it, he yearns to one day find a love as strong and vast as the sea itself.

Inspired on Davy Jones (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest)

[full bio]

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Jacob Quinn 

Octavinelle Dorm School Year: Third Birthday: November 18 Zodiac Sign: Scorpio Age: 18 Height: 175cm Dominant Hand: Right Club: Science ClubBest Subject: Ancient curses Hobbies: Miniatures Pet Peeves: Frogs Favorite Food: Jambalaya Least Favorite Food: Bland foods Talents: Pyrotechnics

"If I don't thrash a man every now and then, they forget who I am."

A straight up thug. As charismatic as he is vicious, he has an affinity for turmoil and often starts and instigates fights with and among other students just for the fun of it.

He has an exuberant manner and a penchant for theatrics, which give him an enchanting aura despite his dry wit and general bad attitude.

He has a younger sister that he loves very, very much. She's the light of his life and the one person he genuinely cares for. He enrolled at NRC on her request, as she hoped it would help him straighten up.

Inspired on Blackbeard (Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides)

[full bio]

[gloamingdawn]

November 23 - Day 4 Children / Visions

Their meetings had started as a formal summons, nearly a year after the Regent Lord Theron had made her acquaintance on the transportation ring of Oribos.

Just them, alone in his office with a small stack of intelligence reports about her and dozens of his own questions to fill in the gaps. He understood her desire for privacy at least — the less people who knew she was a true Veilstrider, with some of the powers of the Val’kyr, the better. One meeting turned into a series of ten to discuss it all; she couldn’t leave her infant son alone with other family members for too long, nor did she want to.

That series of ten official meetings became more informal chats, set under a secret name with the Court clerk that managed the Regent Lord’s calendar. They were both old soldiers, burdened with responsibility they wouldn’t wish on others. It could be lonely, even in rooms surrounded by people, but in the confines of his office, bordered on either side by a set start and end time, they were just people— maybe even friends —who could connect over their similar pasts, the love of their home and what it could become in a time of peace.

But he was still the Regent Lord, and she was still a Veilstrider. When their time was up the yearning set in, gnawing at the edges of the solid foundation she’d built for herself. She’d had another friend like this, once. Someone she could go, sit with and truly connect for hours. A comfortable home away from home until she’d fucked it all up trying to make more out of it than she had any right to.

Four years of doing her best not to bother or infringe was enough, perhaps. Three of those years had changed her so much that she knew her many past lives, all lived within this one, would never recognize her. Children had a way of doing that, though.

“Hi Dice, it’s Lyn. Would you like to get lunch?”

She hadn’t hit send, yet. It didn’t feel right. It hadn’t for the hours she’d backspaced it out and rewritten it. Did she need to say her name? He’d never seemed the type to delete people out of his comm unless they’d severely wronged him.

But she had pretty severely wronged him, so maybe.

“Hi Dice, it’s Lyn. Would you like to get lunch sometime? No pressure if not.”

That didn’t feel right either. Too… uncertain.

“Hi Dice, it’s Lyn. Would you like to get lunch sometime”

She left the cursor blinking and stared at the screen a moment before putting the comm down on the coffee table so she could take a break, step out onto the cabin porch for a deep breath of ocean air and get the overthinking under control. This was something she’d worked on. A text wasn’t the end of the world. The worst he could say was no, in his polite way, and that would be that.

Lyn stepped back inside and was immediately hit with a pang of deep dread. Ash smiled at her from the living room, her comm in his tiny hands, awake early from his nap. He loved her comm so much that she’d gotten him a fake one to play with. But, she’d left hers in easy reach, and that quiet, mental chorus of ‘oh no’ verified when she scooped him up and looked at the screen.

“Hi Dice, it’s Lyn. Would you like to get lunch sometime🌿⭐️🧀🧀🧀🙂😒👻🤞//349MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM” Sent, 1:35pm

It was enough to make her laugh, at least. Ash did love the ‘pictures’ and had just smeared his finger across most of the ones that had risen to the top of her favorites, but he had ultimately solved her problem in a way only a child could, and that text did now very much need an explanation.

“Sorry. My son found my comm. Lots to catch up on if you would like @ a place of your choosing.”

@daily-writing-challenge @dicenne

[miekasa]

mie be honest.. are the aot boys winning no nut november

LMFAOOO... in short, no, they're all a bunch of simps <33 but since you asked, I will elaborate, and include the girlies while I'm at it. This is all assumed that you're in some sort of established relationship with them, and, like, playfully challenged them to it.

Eren: Simp extraordinaire #1, so no LMFAO. For the first time in his life, Eren turned down a challenge because why would he do that 😐 there’s no reward—not even bragging rights. Also, he knows that even if he tried, he’d have folded eight days in, max. 

Armin: He didn’t think it would be that hard, he considers himself to have pretty good self-restraint, and understands the benefits of delayed gratification. Unfortunately, the lingering knowledge that he shouldn’t cum made it extremely difficult not to, so he failed. You both can unpack the implications of that later.

Jean: (Simp extraordinaire #2) He also tries to straight up say no, but if you poke at his ego, he’ll give it a go. He almost lasts the longest, solely because his pride is at stake; but ten days in, when you actively start teasing him, is when he snaps. You would argue that those ten days of no sex were worth the build up. Jean would argue that they were torture.

Connie: Absolutely fucking not and it’s because he forgot. He gets by for five hours, and he’S texting you after he gets himself off—like a good boyfriend should, according to him—and you tell him he’s a loser, to which he replies “??? i nutted to thought of you and you call me a loser????...... OH SHIT WAIT IT’S NOVEMBER ALREADY?????” He was just going about his regular business, it didn’t even cross his mind; truly, head empty, no thoughts.

Levi: He could win if he wanted to; but he absolutely does not want to. He thinks it’s a stupid concept—he’s not averse to waiting for, or even giving up sex if need be, but to do it for some fruitless internet challenge is a waste of time. Claims he’s saving you the trouble, too, because “You’re always on me, anyway. Do you think you’d last?” Like okay.... why’d you have to bring that up 🙄🙄

Porco: He lasts the longest, out of pure spite and competitive nature—and he only gives in because he realizes that there’s nobody to win against. Give him a solid two, maybe, two and half weeks before he has that moment of “what the fuck am I doing,” and he’s pinning you down at 2pm. 

Reiner: A valiant effort, but a failed one in the end. He gets through it by occupying himself: studying more, working more, going to the gym more often—and it does work for a bit, but, alas, he does fold a few days in. He’s a sweetheart about it tho, saying it’s only because he loves you so much <2

Bertolt: He accepts the challenge, but it only takes the lightest, slightest bit of teasing to get him to fold. He’s not very strong willed when it comes to you, and he knows that. At least he tried.

Erwin: Rest in peace to all to soldiers that died in the service, I dive in her cervix. 

Mikasa: MVP award because she’s another one who could win if she wanted to, or really, really put her mind to it. But Mikasa loves you, and she already spent so long pining after you; this challenge would only serve as a reminder to her about all the times before you guys started dating that she would just yearn to call you her gf so <3 she’s gonna give in <33

Annie: She makes you feel stupid for partaking in it, so you feel like you’re the loser (because technically you came on to her first 🙄) even tho you’re the one that challenged her initially. Calls you a baby for not lasting and for giving into her teasing so easily. (Really, she just didn’t wanna wait anymore). 

Sasha: Thinks it’ll be fun at first, and is actually the one to bring it up to you. She changes her mind about that very quickly, and is very shamelessly groveling at your feet less than a week later because, “This was the dumbest idea I’ve ever had, don’t ever let me say something like that again.” 

Pieck: LMFAOOO she’s like Connie—she starts feeling up on you, and you remind her about it and she just kinda pauses, blinks, and continues to be touchy because, “That’s dumb, why would I willingly keep my hands off you?”

Hange: They sort of cheat by making up the rule that you guys can be handsy so long as you both stop before it goes further, so they kinda get their fill through that, or so you think... because soon enough you’ve got Levi knocking on your door huffing, “I don’t know what you did to four-eyes, but they’ve been even more off their fucking rocker, and I didn’t know that was possible. Fix it.”

[just-a-bookish-reader]

Nightbirds by Kate J. Armstrong

As of... let me see it is currently 8:06 pm mountain time on November 19, 2022, and I am 25% into this wonderful book! I snagged a physical copy of it when I was in Charleston for YallFest 2022, and it's due to come out February 2023! The synopsis is below:

"In a dazzling new fantasy world full of whispered secrets and political intrigue, the magic of women is outlawed but four girls with unusual powers have the ability to change it all.

The Nightbirds are Simta’s best kept secret. Teenage girls from the Great Houses with magic coursing through their veins, the Nightbirds have the unique ability to gift their magic to others with a kiss. Magic—especially the magic of women—is outlawed and the city’s religious sects would see them burned if discovered. But protected by the Great Houses, the Nightbirds are safe well-guarded treasures.

As this Season’s Nightbirds, Matilde, Aesa, and Sayer spend their nights bestowing their unique brands of magic to well-paying clients. Once their Season is through, they're each meant to marry a Great House lord and become mothers to the next generation of Nightbirds before their powers fade away. But Matilde, Aesa, and Sayer have other plans. They know their lives as Nightbirds aren't just temporary, but a complete lie and yearn for something more.

When they discover that there are other girls like them and that their magic is more than they were ever told, they see the carefully crafted Nightbird system for what it is: a way to keep them in their place, first as daughters and then as wives. Now they must make a choice—to stay in their gilded cage or to remake the city that put them there in the first place."

So I'm going to be posting about my progress and thoughts on the book. For those of you who don't know, most physical arcs come with a suggested age range on the back, and I hope that's so we can give input on that. I think the writing is excellent and it's such a unique take on this sort of story!

My only major concern is that the suggested age range says 12+, but within the first quarter of this book, I thought someone was about to be sexually assaulted, which as I've read a little further, the character thought so as well, and they straight up refer to the "housing" as a brothel. And considering that 12 is 1-2 years after "the talk" where I come from, I'm just imagining if I ever had kids, my kid coming up to me and asking what a brothel was. That being said, I think 14 and up is probably honestly the perfect age range for this, that age, most people know these sorts of things, and aren't as uncomfortable, plus some of the word usage may not be as difficult to understand! I'll update again if something massive happens that is shocking, or otherwise, again at the halfway mark!

[forsoothsayer]

Shinto by Jorge Luis Borges

When misfortune confounds us in an instant we are saved by the humblest actions of memory or attention: the taste of fruit, the taste of water, that face returned to us in dream, the first jasmine flowers of November, the infinite yearning of the compass, a book we thought forever lost, the pulsing of a hexameter, the little key that opens a house, the smell of sandalwood or library, the ancient name of a street, the colourations of a map, an unforeseen etymology, the smoothness of a filed fingernail, the date that we were searching for, counting the twelve dark bell-strokes, a sudden physical pain.

Eight million the deities of Shinto who travel the earth, secretly. Those modest divinities touch us, touch us, and pass on by.

[fille-lioncelle]

I posted 2,167 times in 2022

56 posts created (3%)

2,111 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sevenpoints

@sequencefairy

@aimmyarrowshigh

@savvylikeyeahhh

@uneventfulhouses

I tagged 2,085 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#watcher - 193 posts

#ryan bergara - 151 posts

#heartstopper - 145 posts

#shane madej - 130 posts

#ryan and shane - 111 posts

#fandom is awesome - 108 posts

#spoilers - 89 posts

#l'art pour l'art - 87 posts

#amazing - 73 posts

#charlie and nick - 70 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#can i do it when i'm like 85 and in case i come out in a completely different time period it's fine cause granny was gonna die soon anyway?

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Guys. Please. How do I unpin a post. 😭😭😭 I cannot figure it out.

8 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

#4

Saw The Batman.

Things that movie did:

make me hold my breath

make me cry

make me giggle and kick my feet in delighted excitement

it right

8 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

#3

Okay, so, admittedly I hadn't watched Goncharov until, like, yesterday. It's one of those films you hear about but it just never sounded like my thing, you know?

Anyway, I watched it because I found the whole "loss of identity" thing Tumblr has been talking about really interesting, especially with Sofia and Katya, but then when I saw it it really struck me how I hadn't seen a lot of this talk about Goncharov and he's literally Goncharov! The reason for the season, baby!

I think part of the reason we're maybe all eating this up right now is because it's it just loss of identity, it's active rejection of it. Not of identity as such but of a specific identity he feels locked into.

The whole chapter where he takes Katya home to the village and you get this sense that people there are both afraid of him but also kind of still treat him like the boy he was when he left? His mother is the only character I think we ever see call him "Luca"! You wouldn't even know the guy had a first name! (Sidenote, love that that was Scorsese's mom.) (Sidenote to the sidenote: have we considered Goncharov as fictionalised autobiography cause I have thoughts.)

Anyway, Goncharov in Posianna is Luca. He's very big fish in a small pond, or at least he fears that's all he's ever going to be if he stays - so he leaves for Naples back when, meets Katya (and Andrey!) etc etc - goes to Moscow - and then returns. But at every stage he keeps having to work harder and harder to convince people he's this tough guy, right? He keeps having to prove himself and not just to other people, but, I think, crucially, to himself! It's like a fake it till you make it in mirrorverse because there's this sense of this not being where he "should" end up (and then we also already know that the stuff with Andrey is still coming up and how that's gonna go). It feels like he keeps trying to make the mythos of himself bigger and bigger because he's measuring himself against some sort of weird ideal that keeps outgrowing him. And, like, who can't relate, eh, generation of "you can be anything!".

On that note - I find it really interesting that Katya is kind of his foil here. She starts in Moscow but she keeps yearning for smaller places, but then once she gets there, she hates it. She could never be happy in Posianna. She actually needs the bigger ponds. (And Sofia.)

Anyway. It's not a fully formed analysis or anything, just something that kept nagging at me while I watched it. And maybe I'm just projecting but I find the deliberate construction of the self vs. the "authentic" finding of the self an interesting thought.

10 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#2

Multifandom December Fic Countdown

Yup. We're doing this again.

Look. This marks the 10th year I'm doing this. I can't not.

-- Whaaaat, I hear you say. How old are you?? Shush.

Tempting as it is, because I am weirdly competitive about the most useless things and also let's not lie, there's always a pet fandom, it feels weird to break with tradition in this, the anniversary year, and fandom-lock my prompts.

So, I'll be using @skepticbeliever-bookclub's lovely prompt list, but I'm opening the list up to any and all fandoms you've seen me reblog stuff for. If you want to ask for something else, just give it a shot! I may or may not treat Watcher requests preferentially on account of abovementioned competitiveness and favouritism but I'll try to hold back on that.

-- But wait, you say. There's only 24 prompts on that list! Correct, I say. I'm adding 7 wild card prompts for AFTER these 24 are done. So I'm giving definite preferential treatment to those 24 but the other 7 are entirely up to you on a first-come-first-serve basis.

I've also reblogged @aimmyarrowshigh's Hannukah bingo - if you give me a prompt that fits that either in combination with one of the 24 or as a wild card, I'm also giving it preferential treatment. As I am not Jewish (or even Jew-ish) though, I ask for goodwill and patience with my fills.

The usual set up applies: I'm not here for rape, abuse, or death fic in this month and I aim for about 1k per fill.

Any other questions, just shoot me an ask or a message.

Without further ado!

Candlelight

Ghost

Ring

Chestnuts

Evergreen

Cosy

Scarf

Hot Cocoa

Cold Toes

Hope

Quiet

Family

Joy

Cider

Snowman

Night In

Candy Cane

Tradition

Eggnog

See the full post

11 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Just a heads up: if you read Heartstopper fic, someone has been posting deliberately horrific stuff (so far I've only seen two stories) clearly meant to upset people to the AO3 tag. I'm not sure reporting them will go anywhere since it's all technically labelled correctly from what I can tell without actually reading it? But they also are arguably being homophobic in graphically violent fictional ways so. Maybe??? Hopefully they'll get bored of being a miserable person and simply leave.

Just, if you want to avoid seeing it, exclude the warnings (particularly rape, graphic violence, and death) from your search and proceed as normal.

18 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[yuriko-mukami]

I posted 2,620 times in 2022

That's 2,164 more posts than 2021!

1,092 posts created (42%)

1,528 posts reblogged (58%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@yuriko-tsukino-rp

@ask-ruki-mukami

@strawberry--bride

@yourlocaltea

I tagged 2,450 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#yuriko tsukino - 1,758 posts

#interactions - 830 posts

#answered asks - 504 posts

#ruki mukami - 462 posts

#rukiko - 327 posts

#ask ruki mukami - 233 posts

#the admin speaks - 223 posts

#elizabeth virnien - 191 posts

#anon - 189 posts

#diabolik oc - 160 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#(( writing novel length stories in a language that has given me tons of in securities through my school years is a struggle ))

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

His Light in the Darkness

A soft white curl slid on her cheek, brushing it lightly as the teal eyes moved from up to down. The love of his life inhaled deeply and when the air waffled out the curl quivered on her skin. The beauty in front of him didn’t seem to notice any of this; tiny fingers squeezed his thigh instinctively as the soft, rosy petals moved along with the words that had captured her mind.

The mind that should have belonged only to him, but now those tempting sentences had spirited away the very soul that was usually devoted to its one and only master. Yet the view was too adorable for him to get annoyed. If the tome in his hands had imprisoned the spirit of his loved one, the pureness of the angel had equally conquered his very being to the core.  Never before had he met anyone who not only shared his passion, his yearning for perfectly formed paragraphs and poetically chosen words but also had stayed with him no matter what had come their way. 

This delightful creature in his arms had once been a simple possession, a mere livestock, yet now she had become his precious light in the darkness. 

(( Art made by @dlyuiannii as a commission for me. I'm ever so thankful and totally love this. Thank you so much!

48 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

#4

"AAAAARGHHHH, DAMN IT!"

Yuriko slammed the door of her bedroom shut and tossed her bag on the floor, screaming her lungs out. A couple of pens rolled around, and a notebook banged against the desk leg. She panted, clenching her fingers tightly against her palms as her heart bounced almost painfully against her chest, pulse beating in her ears.

"I hate everything and everyone!"

She kicked the bag under her bed, grabbed the pillow, and threw it against the closed door. Next went the blanket, ending up on the floor too.

See the full post

50 notes - Posted November 13, 2022

#3

I found this cute Picrew and now I want to see you all doing it too~

So I’m tagging @ask-ruki-mukami​ @ask---shin---tsukinami​ @strawberry--bride​ @maria--bride​ @yumikosan​ @yourlocaltea​ @lured-into-wonderland​ @adragonamongstvampires​ @solarstellarstar​ @mukami-kuron-mrsadisticcat​ @eri-talks​ @korisuu​ @ask-maki-mukami​

♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

58 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

#2

(( I found this Picrew and couldn’t help myself but make Yuriko and Ruki...  🥰

Want to try this too @elizabeth-virnien​ and @strawberry--bride​?  👀 ✨ ✨ ✨

128 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

(( I found this cute Picrew. So, I made Yuriko and would love to see your OC or admin too. ))

(( I tag @elizabeth-virnien @ask-maki-mukami @dialovers-angelica @lilith-the-confused-succubus @catherinemchallask @aqua-dolly-bride @strawberry--bride ))

149 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[orthodoxydaily]

Saints&Reading: Friday, December 9, 2022

decembre 9 November 26

THE MONK ALYPIUS THE STYLITE OF ADRIANOPOLIS  (640)

Saint Alypius the Stylite was born in the city of Adrianopolis in Paphlagonia. His mother, a Christian, was widowed early, and she sent her son to be educated by Bishop Theodore. She distributed her substance to the poor, then began to live an ascetic life near the church as a deaconess.

Saint Alypius, from his early years, wanted to devote his life to God and yearned for the solitary life, although Bishop Theodore would not give him permission to do so. Once, when Saint Alypius was accompanying his bishop to Constantinople, the holy Martyr Euphemia (September 16) appeared to him in a vision, summoning Saint Alypius to return to Adrianopolis and found a church in her name.

With contributions offered by believers in Adrianopolis, Saint Alypius did build a church in the name of the holy Martyr Euphemia, on the site of a dilapidated pagan temple infested by legions of devils. Beside the church, under the open sky, the saint erected a pillar over a pagan tomb. For fifty-three years Saint Alypius struggled upon the pillar, praying to God and teaching those who came to him.

The demons which infested the pagan cemetery fell upon the ascetic by night and pelted him with stones. Saint Alypius, wanted nothing to stand in the way of the attacks of the spirits of darkness, then even took down the boards that served him as a roof, protecting him from the rain and wind. In the face of the saint’s conquering steadfastness, the demons forever fled the place, which had been sanctified by his deed of voluntary martyrdom.

Fourteen years before his death, Saint Alypius was no longer able to stand. He was compelled to lie on his side because of the weakness of his legs, and endured grievous sufferings with humble gratitude. Around the saint’s pillar two monasteries sprang up: a men’s monastery on the one side, and a women’s monastery on the other. Saint Alypius introduced strict monastic rules for both monasteries and he directed both monasteries until his death. Saint Alypius reposed in the year 640, at age 118. The body of the venerable stylite was buried in the church he founded in honor of the holy Martyr Euphemia. The relics of the saint of God healed many of those who came in faith.

SAINT INNOKENTII, FIRST BISHOP OF IRKUTSK (1731)

Saint Innocent, Bishop of Irkutsk, (in the world John) was descended from the noble Kulchitsky family. His parents moved from Volhynia to the Chernigov region in the mid-seventeenth century. The saint was born in about the year 1680, and educated at the Kiev Spiritual Academy. He accepted monastic tonsure in 1710 and was appointed an instructor at the Moscow Slavonic-Greek-Latin Academy as prefect and professor of theology.

In 1719 Saint Innocent transferred to the Saint Peterburg Alexander Nevsky Lavra, and was appointed chief naval chaplain. In 1720 he served as vice-regent of the Alexander Nevsky Lavra.

On February 14, 1721, hieromonk Innocent was consecrated as Bishop of Pereyaslavl and appointed to the Peking Spiritual Mission in China. But the Chinese government refused to allow him to enter the country, because the Senate Commission on External Affairs had indiscretely characterized him as “a spiritual personage, a great lord.” The saint was compelled to spend three years at Selingin on the Chinese border, suffering much deprivation because of the uncertainty of his position, and grief from the disarray of the civil government in Siberia. Diplomatic blunders of the Russian Mission in China by Graf Raguzinsky, and intrigues by the Irkutsk archimandrite Anthony Platkovsky led to the appointment of Archimandrite Anthony in China. By decree of the Most Holy Synod Saint Innocent was named in 1727 to be Bishop of Irkutsk and Nerchinsk. And so he entered into the governance of the newly-formed dioceses.

The proximity of the Chinese border, the expanse and sparsely-settled dioceses, the great number of diverse nationalities (Buryat, Mongol, and others), mostly unenlightened by the Christian Faith, the lack of roads and the poverty—all this made Saint Innocent’s pastoral work burdensome and his life full of deprivations. Through a strange oversight of the Senate, he did not receive any money until the time of his death, and he endured extreme want. In these difficult conditions of scant funds, the Irkutsk Ascension monastery still maintained two schools opened under him, one Mongol and the other Russian. The constant concern of the saint was directed towards the schools: the selection of worthy teachers, and providing the necessary books, clothing and other provisions for students.

The saint toiled tirelessly at organizing the diocese, and strengthening its spiritual life. His many sermons, pastoral letters and directives bear witness to this. In his work and deprivations Saint Innocent found spiritual strength, humility, and insight.

In the spring of 1728, the Baikal region began to suffer a drought. Famine from a poor grain harvest had threatened the diocese already back in 1727. With the blessing of the holy hierarch, in May within the churches of Irkutsk and the Irkutsk region they began to include a Molieben for an end to the drought at each Liturgy. On Saturdays they sang an Akathist to the Mother of God, and on Sundays they served a Molieben. “The supplications,” said the saint, “should end on the Feast of Saint Elias” (July 20). Indeed, on that very day a storm raged at Irkutsk with such strong rains, that in the streets of the city water stood up to people’s knees, and thus the drought ended.

Through the efforts of Saint Innocent, construction was started on a stone church to replace the wooden one at the Ascension monastery, and the boundaries of the diocese were expanded to include not only Selingin, but also the Yakutsk and Ilimsk surroundings.

The saint, not noted for robust health, and under the influence of the severe climate and his afflictions, departed to the Lord at a rather young age (51). He reposed on the morning of November 27, 1731.

In the year 1764, the body of the saint was discovered incorrupt during restoration work on the monastery’s Tikhvin church. Many miracles occurred not only at Irkutsk, but also in remote places of Siberia, for those who flocked to the saint with prayer. This moved the Most Holy Synod to uncover the relics and to glorify the saint in the year 1800.

In the year 1804, a feastday was established to celebrate his memory throughout all Russia on November 26, since the Sign Icon of the Mother of God is commemorated on the actual day of his repose (November 27). Saint Innocent is also remembered on February 9.

In 1921, the relics of Saint Innocent were taken from their shrine and placed in a Soviet anti-religious museum. They were moved to another museum in Yaroslav in 1939, and were exhibited as “mummified remains of an unknown man.” In 1990, they were brought to the newly-reopened Tolga Monastery in the Yaroslav diocese. In September of 1990, the holy relics arrived in Irkutsk and were placed in the cathedral, to the joy of all the faithful.

Source: all texts Orthodox Church in America

LUKE 19:12-28

11And as they heard these things, he proceeded to tell a parable, because he was near to Jerusalem, and because they thought that the kingdom of God should immediately appear

12 Therefore He said: "A certain nobleman went into a far country to receive for himself a kingdom and to return. 13 So he called ten of his servants, delivered to them ten minas, and said to them, 'Do business till I come.' 14 But his citizens hated him, and sent a delegation after him, saying, 'We will not have this man to reign over us.' 15 And so it was that when he returned, having received the kingdom, he then commanded these servants, to whom he had given the money, to be called to him, that he might know how much every man had gained by trading. 16 Then came the first, saying, 'Master, your mina has earned ten minas.' 17 And he said to him, 'Well done, good servant; because you were faithful in a very little, have authority over ten cities.' 18 And the second came, saying, 'Master, your mina has earned five minas.' 19 Likewise he said to him, 'You also be over five cities.' 20 Then another came, saying, 'Master, here is your mina, which I have kept put away in a handkerchief. 21 'For I feared you, because you are an austere man. You collect what you did not deposit, and reap what you did not sow.' 22 And he said to him, 'Out of your own mouth I will judge you, you wicked servant. You knew that I was an austere man, collecting what I did not deposit and reaping what I did not sow. 23 'Why then did you not put my money in the bank, that at my coming I might have collected it with interest?' 24 And he said to those who stood by, 'Take the mina from him, and give it to him who has ten minas.' 25 ("But they said to him, 'Master, he has ten minas.') 26 'For I say to you, that to everyone who has will be given; and from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him. 27 'But bring here those enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, and slay them before me.' " 28 When He had said this, He went on ahead, going up to Jerusalem.

Commentary of the Church Fathers:

St Ambrose of Milan AD 397: But the ten cities are the souls over whom he is rightly placed who has deposited in the minds of men his Lord's money and the holy words, which are tried as silver is tried in the fire. For as Jerusalem is said to be built as a city, so are peace-making souls. And as angels have rule, so have they who have acquired the life of angels. Or perhaps differently; he who gained five pounds has all the moral virtues, for there are five senses of the body. He who gained ten has so much more, that is to say, the mysteries of the law as well as the moral virtues. The ten pounds may also here be taken tomean the ten words, that is, the teaching of the law; the five pounds, the ordering of discipline. But the scribe must be perfect in all things. And rightly, since He is speaking of the Jews, are there two only who bring their pounds multiplied, not indeed by a gainful interest of money, but a profitable stewardship of the Gospel. For there is one kind of usury in money lent on interest, another in heavenly teaching. Nothing is said of the other servants, who like wasteful debtors lost all that they had received. By those two servants who gained by trading, are signified that small number, who in two companies were sent as dressers of the vineyard; by the remainder all the Jews. It follows, And they said to him, Lord, he has ten pounds. And lest this should seem unjust, it is added, For to every one that has, it shall be given.

St Augustine of Hippo AD 430: Or the far country is the Gentile Church, extending to the uttermost parts of the earth. For He went that the fullness of the Gentiles might come in; He will return that all Israel may be saved. Or by the ten pounds he signifies the law, because of the ten commandments, and by the ten servants, those to whom while under the law grace was preached. For so we must interpret the ten pounds given them for trading. Seeing that they understood the law, when its veil was removed, to belong to the Gospel...

...In the Gospel, you have heard both the reward of the good servants and the punishment of the bad. The fault of that servant who was reproved and severely punished was this and only this: that he would not put to use what he had received. He preserved it intact, but his master was looking for a profit from it. God is greedy for our salvation.

1 TIMOTHY 4:4-8, 16

4 For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received with thanksgiving; 5 for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. 6 If you instruct the brethren in these things, you will be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished in the words of faith and of the good doctrine which you have carefully followed. 7 But reject profane and old wives' fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness. 8 For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come. 16 Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.