#noticing I get all sorts of ideas when I'm feeling terrible. why?

[etherealvoidechoes]

First thing I did when I woke up was make this because some good ideas/explanations hit me in my dreams for more world building nonsense. 

Human pattern recognition, general stubbornness, and some other things making the Elders have to “diversifying” their forces on Earth more than they would have liked too/sooner than they would have liked. Humans be a good subjugated colony and stop noticing things and asking questions.

[eff-plays]

There's one convo with Astarion that's one of my favorites that I haven't seen mentioned or discussed yet happens (I assume) if you have high approval with him but play a good-aligned character. (This is at 60+ approval, start of Act 2.) It's probably because it's not a romantic cutscene so it doesn't get mentioned as much as the others (or because he's racist in it and some of y'all don't like to acknowledge that he has character flaws), but I think it's vital to his character and to explain his early relationship with a good-aligned Tav.

I would like to break it down a little, step by step. Because we are all cringe here.

First, he claims to feel a connection between Tav and himself, and the reason for this is because he believes he's identified "ambition" in Tav (and I'll explain why he's wrong later, but that's mostly headcanon territory, so we'll ignore it for now).

But, there's also clearly something holding Tav back from realizing their full potential, which is their naivete.

"Just that you ... have a big heart. You like doing what's right."

(The animations and voice acting here make him look and sound so fucking condescending, 10/10.)

However, Astarion doesn't tell them this is wrong, or that he disagrees. He implies it's a flaw, but doesn't state it outright. That's dangerous territory, see, and might predispose them to get defensive and reject what he has to say next.

No, he tries (and fails in my case, but it's cute that he tries, bless him) to manipulate Tav by appealing to that big heart of theirs.

"So I was thinking, what would be the right thing to do when we get to Moonrise Towers? When we come face-to-face with whoever is controlling the parasites in our heads."

"I'm just saying there's an opportunity here. If we can control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe and liberate the world from this evil."

See what he's doing? You like doing what's right, so what would be the right thing to do? We can keep ourselves safe. Liberate the world from evil.

It's very blatant, but he's trying to appeal to Tav's good nature by framing his questionable ideas as something that will benefit the greater good, something that's morally righteous that they would agree with.

And of course, it's incredibly funny when you ask how he thinks you'll do that, and he fumbles and admits he's not a "details person," but it's also revealing.

He thinks he's found in Tav ambition, when all he's actually found is ability. Tav exercises power proficiently, while Astarion does not. If he had the authority they have, he'd let ambition drive his actions, which is why he assumes that's what drives Tav when they exercise their power. A good-aligned Tav has very little ambition, I'd argue, but they have plenty of opportunity to exercise their power, which they do when their hand is forced.

So what Astarion is saying is, in effect, hey, you have power, I have ambition. Will you please use your authority/ability to do what I want? Here's how it'll totally be for the greater good, I prommy.

This is brilliant writing, and I really applaud Larian for managing to walk that fine line of making Astarion so sympathetic while he's literally trying to manipulate the player character. Because when I first got this convo, my thought was both "wow, I adore how blatant and terrible his manipulation attempts are, it's kind of endearing" and "he's so terrified, it's genuinely quite tragic."

If we control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe. This works only somewhat as an appeal to good-aligned Tav, because it could also potentially sound very selfish, especially if Tav is the self-sacrificing sort. So notice how, when he says "liberate the world from evil", it sounds kinda tacked-on, an afterthought designed to bury his main goal, which is keep "ourselves" (i.e. himself) safe. Like, yes, this will keep us/me safe, but if you're not into that, then it'll totally help the world, too! It doesn't quite work, because he still sounds ironic and like he doesn't believe they'd be liberating anything from any evil (work that 10 Charisma, boy), but that's the intent, I think.

Does he want power for power's sake? Yes. Is he gleefully powerhungry? Absolutely. But he's also fucking terrified, and that slips through just a little bit, even behind the smug and confident facade.

He's trying to get Tav, whom he's seen exercise their power over others, to lend some of it to him, so that he may never fear anything ever again.

All of this from a short, smug convo where he admits he's too stupid to figure out how to fulfill his dreams of world domination.

God tier characterization, 10/10.

[appocalipse]

summary: you were way too drunk last night and said some funny things...so, of course, steve had no other option but take you to his place to take care of you. :)

read part 1 here

˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷

Your head hurts.

Everything feels a little weird, in fact, but especially your head, spinning and throbbing and, when you try to pry your eyes open, the sudden harsh light streaming into the room feels like it's physically boring straight through your brain.

"Fuck," you whimper pitifully, eyes squeezing shut once more. Your ears are ringing, there's a coppery film lining the inside of your mouth and, for a terrible second, your stomach churns dangerously. "Fuck."

Someone hums somewhere near your right ear. A low, gravelly, vaguely amused sort of hum. There is absolutely nothing and no one alive on this green earth that would hum in that particular fashion except your best friend.

You peel your eyelids apart with great difficulty. When you tilt your head to the right, you see Steve sitting on the edge of the bed, gazing down at you with a soft look on his face.

Naturally, you proceed to freak the fuck out.

"Jesus Christ," you cry, scrambling backwards until you feel the back of your head slam against the headboard with a resounding thud. The dull throb in the back of your skull intensifies, and you have to fight back the urge to throw up. "Ow! Shit, I—What—what happened? Why are you in my—"

Hold on a second...this is not your room.

You cast an anxious, furtive glance around the unfamiliar setting of Steve Harrington's guest room. Panic floods your veins and has your heart hammering in your chest when you notice that you're clad in only one of his shirts and sweatpants that definitely don't belong to you.

Oh, Dear Lord.

Did something happen last night that you can't remember? Did something — oh, God, no.

Steve raises his eyebrows at you as though he can read your mind. "Relax. Nothing happened, relax, come back down," he coos gently, placing a placating hand on your arm. "And I...I didn't see anything, if that's what you're worried about. Nancy and Robin, uh...they helped you shower and get changed last night. Not me."

You cover your face with both hands, letting out a muffled groan as your memories come trickling back in. You don't remember every little detail from the previous night, but what you do remember is already more than enough to fill you with mortification and regret.

"...you said some pretty interesting things while you were drunk, though."

"Shut up," you mumble, peeking up at him through splayed fingers, "go away."

"Really, though," Steve continues, the teasing glint in his eyes a sure sign that he is very much enjoying your suffering, "who knew you found me so attractive?"

"Oh, Jesus," you mutter, groaning as you slide down to hide underneath the comforter, "where are my clothes? I want to leave now."

Steve snickers but makes no move to get up from his perch on the bed. You can hear the rustling of fabric, like he's adjusting his position as he waits for you to come out from under the blanket. "Clothes are in the wash, sorry," he says, sounding very much not sorry at all. "You, um, thought it was a good idea to lie down on the grass last night."

"Kill me now."

"Nope," he chirps, quite cheerfully so, "can't do that, because then who would watch Back to the Future with me tonight?"

You part the comforter just enough to peer up at him from beneath the thick layer of blanket.

"'Back to the Future'?" you echo, trying to ignore the fact that you feel a little lightheaded when Steve smiles down at you.

He looks nice. He always does, but even more so now for some reason — you're guessing it has something to do with the fact that you just woke up and haven't had the time to mentally prepare yourself for seeing him up close yet.

"Mmhmm. You up for it?"

"I'm pretty sure that my head is literally going to explode any time now." 

It's really not that bad anymore, but Steve doesn't need to know that, does he?

He nods seriously in agreement. "Right, because you drank way more than you should've last night. Might have mentioned something about rules and...mhmm, what was it? Oh, yes, dying if I didn't let you touch my hair…?"

"No, I didn't."

"You really did," he tells you, leaning back on the heels of his palms, "but don't worry, it was cute."

"I am very much worried," you say miserably.

Steve lets out a quiet sigh and leans forward again, hands reaching out to tug the blanket down far enough to uncover your face completely. "Come on," he says, "do you need anything? Aspirin, maybe? Food? Water?"

You consider his offer, taking the time to mull it over while you avoid his gaze. 

"Why did you bring me home with you?" you ask, curious despite yourself. "Why didn't you just take me home?"

"You, uh...really didn't want me to. Pretty much refused to let go of me all night."

"Steve."

"No, really!" he insists, holding both hands up in surrender. "It was like trying to pry a koala off a tree. You even asked—"

You let out a helpless moan of protest and turn away from him as much as you can, hiding your face in the pillow. Steve laughs, clearly delighted by the fact that he's managed to thoroughly embarrass you in less than ten minutes.

"You asked me if I—"

"I don't wanna know!"

"—would sleep in your bed with you."

"Nope," you whisper, your voice coming out a little garbled due to the way you've pressed your face into the pillows, "don't wanna hear it. Shut up, Steve, oh my God. Please."

"It was very adorable."

"I was drunk."

"Still. Cute."

You prop your head up on your elbow so that you can see him a little better, keeping the blanket held tightly around your shoulders as you do. "Sorry I called you. I don't even remember doing it, Tina just told me to and…sorry."

Steve looks down at his lap, shifting a little uncomfortably on the bed.

"I don't mind," he says, lifting his gaze up to meet yours briefly. "You said you missed me. At the party."

A dry, humorless chuckle leaves you and you cringe when the sudden motion sends a sharp pain lancing through your forehead. "Ow. Of course you would remember that," you say, cheeks heating up.

"Do you...remember everything?"

You blink, momentarily confused by the sudden change in conversation. "Everything?" you ask, more to buy yourself some time than anything else.

"You, um..." Steve trails off, clearly unsure of how to broach the topic with you, "you said I made you feel…stuff inside. That you felt stuff. Or something like that. Do you...remember saying that?"

You can practically feel all the color draining out of your face, leaving behind a blank canvas that hides none of your inner panic. 

"Uh...no, no, I don't. Do you have a...I need to, um, use your bathroom, like, right now, if you don't mind."

Steve blinks. "Oh, okay. Sure. I bought you a toothbrush earlier, by the way. It's in the medicine cabinet if...if you want."

"Yep," you say, climbing out from under the blanket with as much dignity as you can muster (which is very little), "yep, okay, thanks. I'm...gonna go do that. Now. Okay, bye."

You spend a good five minutes inside the bathroom splashing water in your face while silently wishing for death to come claim you sooner rather than later. Then, you brush your teeth with the toothbrush Steve left out for you — which is totally not cute, it's not cute, why did he do that, ugh, damn him — before venturing out into the hall.

"Steve?"

"Kitchen," he calls out from somewhere at the bottom of the stairs, "you want pancakes?"

You hesitate.

The idea of staying to have breakfast alone with Steve Harrington seems oddly intimate after last night, a dangerous prospect that will undoubtedly lead to awkward small talk and more teasing. However, he did go out of his way to buy you a toothbrush this morning...

You swallow down the nervousness you feel and pad barefoot down the staircase into the foyer, following the sounds of clinking utensils and soft humming to the kitchen.

Steve looks up from his place at the stove when you appear in the doorway.

"Hey," he greets, giving you a quick once over. "How's your head?"

"Feels like there's a little person in there hitting it repeatedly with a little hammer," you admit, grimacing a little as you come further into the room and sit down at the island. "Thanks, by the way. For helping me out last night. And today. I really am sorry for...um, you know, that."

"'That'?"

You purse your lips and Steve grins.

"Yes, that," you mutter, swiveling your seat from left to right while you watch him attempt to read a recipe on the back of a box of pancake mix. "Drunk me is like, twice as embarrassing as sober me."

"Embarrassing isn't the word I'd use."

"Please," you scoff, "I was pathetic. I could barely walk by myself."

Steve glances back at you. "I didn't think you were pathetic."

You raise an eyebrow at him skeptically.

"Okay, maybe a little pathetic," he concedes with a little snort, "but mostly just…sweet."

"Sweet?"

"Yeah, sweet. Don't know if anyone's ever told you that before."

"Sweet," you say again, the headache suddenly no more than an afterthought. "That's how you'd describe me?"

Steve, apparently having given up on making sense out of the instructions on the back of the box, turns around to lean against the counter behind him and studies you with his arms folded loosely over his chest.

"Yes," he says, tilting his head to the side a little. "Not the word you expected me to say?"

There's something about the way he's looking at you. It's warm and piercing all at once, like he can see right through you. It makes it hard for you to breathe all of a sudden, hard for you to do anything but gape at him like a goldfish that's been pulled out of water.

"Uh, I'm...confused."

"Me too," he admits with a little huff of laughter. "I was thinking about what you said."

"About your hair?"

"No, well, yeah, but—" Steve pauses, dragging a hand down his face with a weary sigh. "Look, what you said to me yesterday, about the things I make you feel, I—"

"I said I'm sorry—"

"Don't apologize," Steve interrupts, shooting you an unamused look, "I'm trying to say something here, come on, give me a sec."

"Right. Sorry. Go on."

"You're not supposed to apologize for apologizing."

"I'm s—okay, right. Mouth shut."

Steve purses his lips to stifle his amusement at your antics. You fold your arms in front of your chest and keep your gaze fixed firmly on the marble countertop as you wait for him to continue.

"I, uh," he says, pushing himself away from the counter so that he can wander over to the other side of the kitchen, where you sit, "I feel things too, you know. With you."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Steve chuckles, scrubbing a hand across the back of his neck as he stops beside you, "'Oh'. Weird, right?"

You'd like to, but can't think of anything clever to say that would serve as a suitable response. You don't think Steve's looking for one, anyway, because he reaches out to tap his fingers lightly on the back of your hand, taking a seat on the stool next to yours.

"S'weird, 'cause I don't know if you meant what you said when you were drunk, or if it was just the alcohol talking, or what."

You shake your head quickly, and then wince because of the way the headache thuds behind your right eye.

"Robin says I'm an idiot and should stop being such a chicken," he continues, with a slight roll of his eyes. "And Eddie says if I don't 'shut up and tell you how I feel soon', he'll do it for me."

You nod, smiling despite your hangover. "Eddie's, uh, got a point, no?"

"Maybe," Steve allows, rubbing absently at the side of his neck.

He lets his hands slide down to the legs of your stool, fingers curling around the metal of each side. You don't quite understand what he's doing until he gives them a light tug, jerking you closer to him without warning.

You let out a little shriek of surprise as you reach up to clutch onto the first solid thing your hands find — his forearms. 

"Ah! What—Steve!"

He's got an amused smile on his face, but his eyes are bright and nervous all at once. Steve pushes your stool even closer to him, until your knees knock against his own and he's forced to lean down to keep his eyes on you.

You hold his gaze steadily as he edges closer. "What are you doing?" you murmur, watching his eyes flit downward to track the movement of your tongue as it peeks out to wet your dry lips.

"Not sure yet," Steve hesitates when your lips are a hairsbreadth apart. He watches, half-dazed, half-entranced by the way you stare back at him, unblinking. "But I've got a theory."

"A theory?"

He lowers his head toward yours. You press your hands flat against the hard plane of his chest to steady yourself, fingers splaying over the soft material of his t-shirt as you curl them around the fabric. Steve exhales, and you can feel his breath on your skin, a soft tickle that raises the goosebumps all over your skin.

"Wanna hear it?"

You nod slowly, aware of the way his eyes darken as they trace your face. He's so close that you can make out the fine dusting of freckles and moles that litter his skin, the long fan of his lashes as they flutter to a close. If you moved even slightly, your lips would brush against his.

"What's your…your theory?" you whisper.

You can feel his heartbeat thudding in his chest as he releases his hold on your stool, lifts both hands up to cradle your face instead. He slides the tips of his fingers along the side of your neck, lets his thumb trace your jaw.

"I think," Steve says, and you can tell he's struggling to string two coherent words together when you feel his thumb quiver against your cheekbone. "I think that, uh, you're—Christ, I—"

His nose brushes against yours and you tilt your chin up instinctively, chasing the brief contact. You smirk. "Christ, you...?"

"Shut up," Steve huffs out a breathless laugh. "I'm getting to it."

"Are you?" you tease, wrapping your fingers around his wrist, your turn to pull him towards you gently.

Steve goes easily, moving his hand from your face to brace the back of your neck. "I think," he starts, eyes crinkling at the corners, "that I might be in love with you."

It's such an unforeseen, unexpected confession that your heart almost gives out in your chest. 

You gape up at him, at his crooked grin, at his rosy cheeks. "You think?"

He blinks and then squints down at you like he can't decide whether he wants to be annoyed at your antics or kiss you. You hope for the latter, but he says, "What're you, a parrot?"

Shrugging, you're unable to keep your lips from quirking into a grin of your own. "Rude."

Steve's head falls forward and he rests his forehead against yours. You can feel his pulse thundering wildly against the hand you've pressed flat against his chest, and it makes you feel a little better about your own pounding heart.

"M'sorry."

You smooth a hand over his shirt and hook a finger under the neckline. "Forgiven," you tell him.

"Good," Steve says, nudging his nose against yours playfully.

You want to say something else, maybe tease him about his hair or something equally as inconsequential, but he doesn't let you. Instead, he leans down and closes the distance between you with a slow, tentative press of his lips to yours.

Now, Steve's mouth is soft and warm, and he kisses you like he's got all the time in the world. You shiver when he drags his fingers up the back of your neck, tangling them in your hair so that he can pull you closer yet.

You only pull back when the need to breathe becomes too urgent, giggling at the little noise of protest he lets out as you do. But Steve is nothing if not persistent, and he pulls you back in almost immediately, the movement so abrupt that you nearly topple backwards off the stool.

"Steve—I..." you manage to say, between your giggles and the heated press of his lips against yours. "I still...need to breathe, mister."

He huffs out a little laugh against the side of your neck, nips at the sensitive skin in retaliation. You squeal in delight and jab him playfully in the stomach, laughing as he recoils in mock agony.

"Stop laughing," Steve complains, the warmth of his own laughter tickling the underside of your chin when he nuzzles his nose into your neck once more, "come on, you're ruining the moment."

"Wait," you breathe, right before his lips meet yours again, "so...no pancakes, then?"

He drops his forehead against your shoulder and shakes with quiet laughter."You," Steve mumbles into the side of your neck, "are something else, you know that?"

You grin. "Apparently, you like that. Love that...no?"

You can feel him smile, the stretch of his lips curving against the skin of your shoulder.

"Apparently...yeah, I do. I do."

[ballroamblitz]

caramel pie | J.P

summary: james smells caramel pie on the amortentia potion

james potter x fem!reader

word count: 3.750 content: teeth rotting fluff, angst warnings: crying, reader blushes notes: one thing about me is i love me some amortentia fic with a side of james fluff ughh also i listened to glue song by beabadoobee while writing this :) p.s i accidentally posted this on my side acc so if anyone wanna be mutuals my main blog is @beastofbrden :)

- Someone please, kindly remind me why I decided that continuing Herbology after the O.W.Ls was a good idea? - Y/N huffed out, sitting at the Gryffindor table for lunch.

The four boys sitting around her laughed. 

- Learned a lot today, uh? - Sirius asked, ironically. 

- Oh yeah, loads! We had to feed toad flesh to those terrible toad-eating plants. For some reason, mine just didn't feel like eating it without regurgitating it all back on me! 

The boys went hysterics, and even the girl couldn't help but laugh along. 

- There's still a little piece there - James pointed. - Here, let me take it out for you.

He took out a small chunk of toad flesh off her hair. 

- Well, may I remind you, Y/N, that no one told you to keep up with Herbology. We all dipped from it while we could and no one else has pieces of toad on our hair - Sirius noted, clearly getting a good laugh out of the girl's toad disaster.

- I just didn't want to hurt Sprout's feelings! 

She sighed and brushed her hair with her fingers, only then looking at the food in front of her.

- Merlin, I'm starving! Could eat anything right now.

- Even toad? - Remus joked, sending the group on another laughing crisis.

By the time of dessert, Y/N started scanning the table for something. Clearly not finding it, her panic started showing. 

- Oh no. Where's the caramel pie? 

- They didn't serve any today - James replied, needing all the strength on his body to stay deadpanned. The other three boys were deep in conversation, and him being the one sitting closer to Y/N (as always) only he noticed the girl's agitation. 

- What??? What do you mean they didn't serve any? In the six years I've been here they never not served it and I can't believe they chose today to…

- I'm just joking - James pulled a plate that was hidden behind the steak pudding, smiling playfully at the girl - Saved it for ya.

- James! I would go mad if they stopped serving this pie, y'know! - she let out a relieved breath. 

- Nah, don't worry. They will keep serving it, or I would fight the elfs for ya. 

- One day I’ll hide your figgy pudding, then we’ll see.

- You wouldn’t dare, missy.

James watched with a soft look on his eyes as the girl took the first bite of her favorite dessert.

- Thank you for saving me a piece, Jamie - she leaned her head on his shoulder for a moment to show gratitude. When she got closer, he smelled the vanilla scent of her hair and the caramel pie on her lips.

After lunch, the five went straight to Slughorn's classroom. 

- Good evening, dears, good evening! Now if you could get up and get closer, I want to show you something!

The whole class shifted near the table Slughorn was sitting behind. 

- Here, we have a very special potion. - He pointed towards a bubbling caldron full of a crystal clear liquid - Very tricky to make, very characteristic and perhaps one of the most dangerous we can brew. Can anyone tell me it's name?

Y/N's hand rose in the air.

- Yes, ms. Y/L/N. 

- It's Amortentia, or simply the love potion. Since true love can't really be produced by any sort of magic, it causes more of a crush or an obsession. 

- Correct. Ten points to Gryffindor! - Slughorn smiled.

- Nerd - James whispered,  messing up Y/N’s hair.

- Sod off, Potter.

- You see, one of the most intriguing things about Amortentia is its scent. Everyone smells something different, because its scent is completely dependent on what each person feels personally attracted to. Now, who wants to come forward and tell me what it smells like? 

No one volunteered. No wonder, since it's a very particular thing to simply say in front of a whole classroom.

- No one? I'll pick someone then. Let me think... - Slughorn scanned the faces around. - Ah! Mr. Potter, you will do. 

James was caught by surprise. He had been distracted by the warmth radiating off Y/N, that was almost resting her head on his chest. 

- Me? - he asked and pointed towards himself.

- Of course you! Is there any other Mr. Potter?

The whole class laughed as James stepped closer, his signature boyish grin splashed on his face. 

- Now Mr. Potter, lean in and smell the potion.

James ran his hands through his hair and did as told. One single sniff and his smile fell off his face completely. The scent was unmistakable: vanilla and caramel pie. Vanilla body cream, caramel pie for dessert, everyday. He had the urge to see if Y/N wasn't standing next to him, but he knew she hadn't moved from across the table. He knew he had to lie. If he said what it smelled like to him, everyone would know it was Y/N's smell.  

- So, Mr. Potter. Whenever you are ready to share. 

He looked at where Y/N was. She was looking at him, just as well as everyone else. She looked relaxed, the potion's glow making her look specially pretty, angel-like. Think of something, fast. Something not at all related to what you are really smelling, something like...

- It’s wood and broomstick polisher.

- Very well then Mr. Potter. Looks like you've got a thing for Quidditch, uh?

The class laughed, and everyone looked convinced. James Potter, Quidditch captain, smelling broomstick polisher and wood? Fitting. James high-fived himself for his quick thinking, and let out a relieved sight. Now, no one would go around thinking the wrong things. 

Later that night, in the common room, however, the potions class was almost burning a hole through James' head. Slughorn said Amortentia smelled of what attracted each person the most.  Attraction was romantic, sexual attraction. But Slughorn had been pretty vague, hadn't he? He could've meant attraction in any context. It could mean anything. It could mean platonic love, right? If Slughorn didn't think much of James smelling Quidditch, it probably meant it could smell of anything the person liked a lot, right? But it was a love potion. That caused passion. And Slughorn said he had a thing for Quidditch. A thing. But he didn't have a thing for Y/N! He loved her, of course. Everyone knew she was his best friend, they did everything together and she was probably his favorite person in the world. Yeah, maybe he went to extreme lengths to see her happy, and yeah, maybe he was a bit too affectionate with her, but she was his best friend.

- Can't do homework anymore. - James was ripped off his thoughts by Y/N's presence. She threw her backpack at the ground in front of the sofa he was in and layed down - My brain feels like mush.

James looked at her. Her head was resting on his lap, and she looked extremely comfortable. That was obvious, since they always had been this affectionate towards each other. They both were very touchy people, and it felt natural to be in constant physical contact. James was always happy, eager even, to be like this with her. In a platonic way. Obviously. Today, however, her skin on his felt like it burned. 

- How was it? - James asked, coughing to conceal the way his voice failed a bit in the first word.

- Homework? Awful. It's not that difficult, but it's too much. And it just seems pointless, you know? What will I actually learn from writing 19 inches about toad eating plants? Nothing, I tell you what! - The girl sighed and closed her eyes again - Just wanna go to sleep, really.

He didn't know what to answer. He normally would have made a joke about the plants, added more criticism about essays or something. But he didn’t even do his homework, with how paranoid he was. For the first time ever, he was completely speechless in her presence. Her eyelashes were resting peacefully on her pink cheeks. The light from the fireplace made her skin look more flushed, and her hair had a golden glow to it. She looked awfully pretty. James knew that, of course. She had always been pretty. But tonight.. when she moved her head a little bit, he smelled the amortentia smell. Vanilla and caramel pie, just as strong as it was that afternoon. 

- You are way too quiet today, Jamie. - She opened her eyes and he felt something weird in the pit of his stomach  - Ate too much pudding? 

- Yeah, probably. 

She stretched and yawned, sending another wave of vanilla and caramel pie to James' nostrils. 

- Going to bed - she got up. Her hair was messy and the light from the fireplace behind her looked like a halo. - Night, Jamie.

She lowered herself and pecked his cheek lightly. 

- Sleep well - her soft voice was way too close to his ear, turning James' legs into jelly. 

He watched her going up the stairs to the dormitory, and the place she had kissed burned long after she was gone. 

He had no reason to be this nervous for the potions class the next morning. Slughorn had already moved on from amortentia, since it was a difficult, dangerous and time-consuming potion to make, but James was half hoping the potion would be brought up again, and half hoping everyone would collectively forget about it completely. Slughorn didn't mention the potion again, moving on directly to Felix Felicis. He watched the whole class on the edge of his seat. He had decided he would ask the teacher about the potion just to calm himself down. Just to make sure. Everyone had been really concentrating on making the best draught of living death the whole period, but James just wanted the class to end so he could ask Slughorn and stop eating himself alive.  

- Alright, alright. Congratulations mr. Snape on your draught. Truly outstanding! - Slughorn said, raising a round of applause - Class dismissed!

Everyone started to gather their backpacks and leave, but James made sure to stay back. He pretended to be very interested in a weird type of algae that Slughorn kept in a little ampoule. Just a few more moments and then he'll say that no, I don't have romantic feelings for Y/N and that i just really like caramel pie or something, and then i'll stop going mental... 

- Gillyweed. - Slughorn’s voice dragged James off of his daydreams 

- Uh? - James frowned in confusion, wondering what the teacher was talking about.

- The algae you're looking at, Mr. Potter. Gillyweed. Helps the person breathe underwater. 

- Oh, yeah, right. Professor Slughorn, I was wondering if I could ask you something.

- Sure, my boy, ask away - Slughorn encouraged while distractingly stacking some parchments.

- I was wondering… about the Amortentia potion.

Slughorn stopped his movements and lifted his eyes directly to James. 

- Oh, I see - He looked very amused, for some reason. - What were you wondering?

- Let's just say a friend of mine smells it and it reminds him of someone. It could smell like someone he just truly cares about, couldn't it? Like, it doesn't necessarily mean he's in love with the person that the scent reminds him of, right? 

Slughorn's lopsided smile grew bigger.

- I'm afraid, no, my boy. 

- What? - James felt like the classroom got three times smaller and hotter by the minute - But I smelled wood and polishing oil, and I'm not in love with a broom, am i? 

- Mr. Potter, Mr. Potter... - Slughorn chuckled. - I think we both know you didn't smell any of that. 

James felt his face getting warm and red. 

- But, if you did, that would mean you have a crush on a Quidditch player, let's just put it like that. Amortentia is a very strong love potion, and we can only smell things in it that romantically attract us very deeply. Those of us that aren't in love with anyone would smell something quite abstract. But if this friend of yours smelled amortentia and recognized the scent as someone's, then boy do I have news for him. Does this answer your question? 

      - Hm, yeah, sure. - James agreed. He felt like he was gonna fall down from the absurd speed at which his mind was racing. - Thank you, Professor.

- Anytime. - James began to leave, completely out of it. - Oh, and Mr. Potter?

- Yes? - James turned around, hopeful that Slughorn would start laughing and admit he was joking.

- Tell your friend I wish him the best of luck with this new, blossoming love. 

As James went out of the classroom and up into the common room, he deeply regretted not stealing that ampoule of gillyweed and swallowing it whole. That way, he could spend the rest of his days in the black lake with the merpeople. I bet amortentia wouldn't smell like anything down there, he thought. 

For the rest of the week, James spent every waking hour trying to not think about what Slughorn said and what it meant, and he was succeeding. He kept himself busy with classes, Quidditch and even homework. He also did his absolute best to avoid everyone. He ate before anyone else and made sure he was far away from the great hall by the time he knew Y/N and the rest of the Marauders would go down to eat. In classes, he sat very distant and left early. He even pulled some pranks he didn't even feel like pulling on Filch to get detention in the nights he couldn't schedule Quidditch practices. He walked the halls in the invisibility cloak. Anything to keep his thoughts away from the big fire alarm going off inside his head. The only problem was that he missed Y/N in all of those moments. When he was doing homework, he missed the sound of Y/N's pen scratching the parchment next to him. While he ate, he missed the warmth of her body next to his, the satisfaction humming while she ate her pie . He missed laying down together after homework. He missed seeing her on the stands at practice. He even realized that the real fun in pranks wasn't the actual thing, but to see Y/N laughing hysterically afterwards. To put it quite simply, it felt like he was sleep walking all the time. He couldn’t go on avoiding her forever, but what he was gonna do, he had positively no idea.

Until Friday night.

It was late, and he had been in detention. Filch had made him write “I shall not turn the school’s trophies into pigeons” a hundred times, and his hand was hurting from all the repetitive writing. Normally, he would have complained, but this time, he was glad for the distraction. Enjoying detention, he thought bitterly while crossing the fat lady, I must be really going mad. His grouchy thoughts were interrupted by a sound. It sounded like.. crying. Or better yet, it sounded like someone was sobbing their heart out. He looked around the empty common room, but didn’t see anyone. He followed the sound to the sofa near the fireplace, where he and Y/N always rest after studying. Before you turned into a chicken. 

Y/N was laid on the sofa, her face buried in a cushion, her whole body shaking with her sobs. James was flooded with panic.

- Y/N, baby, what happened? - he cooed, his voice altered with anxiety. Y/N never cried, except when something very serious happened.

Y/N looked up like she thought she was seeing visions. 

- Jamie? - her voice was soft and shaky, her eyes were puffy and bloodshot red, like she had been crying for multiple hours. The hurt on her eyes broke James’ heart in a thousand pieces. 

His mind raced with possibilities: maybe someone was mean to her? Maybe someone died? Maybe she was hurt? The thought of her being in pain panicked him even further. He sat down and pushed her into his lap, laying her head on his shoulder. 

- Are you hurt, baby? Where does it hurt? Please, tell me. 

She cried violently on his shoulder. He inspected her legs for bruises, but she seemed well physically. 

- Y/N, tell me what’s wrong, I can’t stand to see you like this - he begged. -  Did someone hurt you?

The question seemed to trigger something on the girl, because suddenly she was on her feet, out of his arms. 

- Did someone hurt me? Seriously? - the tears streamed down her face, but her eyes glimmered with something new: anger.

James was confused, to say the least. He noticed that she was wearing one of his old sweaters, one that had vanished from his suitcase a few weeks ago. 

- Baby...- he begged some more.

She looked as if he had twisted a knife on her wound.

- Don’t you dare “baby” me, James. Not after ignoring me like the plague for a whole week! 

Oh. Oh. James had been so involved with his own confusion regarding the amortentia incident that he forgot almost completely that Y/N didn’t know what he was doing, or why. She was crying because he hurt her feelings. That was a lot worse than if she was crying because of another person: he could’ve gone out to kick said jerk’s ass. But if he hurt her, what was he supposed to do? Punch himself? 

-Y/N - he cooed, apologetically. - Y/N, I…

She showed him her palm, urging him to stop talking.

- You don’t have to explain wanting to be away from me. I’m sure you had your reasons. But you could have at least told me that you wanted some space from me, or something, because I’ve been miserable, and…

She thought he wanted space from her. The sorrowful shaky breath that escaped her lips mid-sentence threw him over the edge. 

- No, no, no… - he repeated while pushing her back into his lap - Oh my god, Y/N, no…

He caressed her hair while she sobbed violently on his shoulder. Her fists were closed tightly on his shirt, her tears dampened his neck, and he couldn’t recall the last time his heart ached this badly.

- Did I do something? Did I bother you? I’m so sorry.. - she whispered softly, like she was voicing what had been repeating in her head over and over again during the last few days. Her words were laced with anger, resentment, but, above all, hurt. He wanted to double over in pain.

- Listen - James lifted her chin up gently, forcing her to look into his eyes. - I’m the one who’s sorry. 

The tears kept coming, but she was listening.

- I shouldn’t have avoided you last week, and it’s not your fault, okay? It’s my fault. I’m the one who got scared. 

She looked confused.

- Scared? Of me? 

James would have to confess what happened at Slughorn’s class. He had given zero thought about his messy feelings, and even though unraveling them in front of Y/N scared him endlessly, he would have to do it, because he could never let her think that he wanted space from her. That he wanted anything but to be close to her, at all times, if he could. 

- Please - she asked, incisively, noticing his wariness. - Tell me.

He took a deep breath, feeling vulnerable, raw. As if he would undress himself fully in front of her.

- Remember Slughorn’s class about amortentia? - Y/N nodded, encouraging him to move on - He asked me to smell it, right, and I…

- You said it smelled like broom polisher. 

- Well, yes. But I lied. - he decided to avert his gaze to the ceiling, or else he would never talk. - It was caramel pie and vanilla cream. So, I smelled… you.

Silence. A moment, two. He couldn’t muster the courage to look at the girl. He felt her hand grazing his cheek, urging him to look at her.. 

- Jamie… - She looked wonderstruck, and his heart seemed like it wanted out of his chest - Really?

- Really.

James was sure he’d never seen something as beautiful as Y/N after his response. She was smiling the biggest, most shiny smile he had ever seen on her face. Her eyes shined like gemstones at him, so soft he wanted to cry.

- Do you want to know what I smelled? - she asked, soft as a feather. 

His heart somersaulted when she brought her face closer to the side of his neck. She whispered on his ear:

- I smelled… - She sniffed his neck once - Sandalwood - another sniff, followed by a chuckle  - Broomstick polisher…

She distanced herself, looking deep into his eyes.

- And homework parchment. And fireplace naps. And figgy pudding.

His heart was hammering against his ribcage. Y/N smelled him. On the amortentia potion. Him.

- Y/N - James whispered, all warm and fuzzy on the inside. - Really?

She didn’t answer, just grabbed his hand, the warmth and softness of her skin overwhelming his senses. Placed his hand on top of the point of her chest where her heart was. Through the fabric of his shirt, he could feel her heart beating faster than a hummingbird's. She never unglued her soft eyes from his. 

She likes him. Suddenly, all the thoughts he had been avoiding throughout the week came crashing down on him, like a dam.

James was an affectionate friend. He liked physical touch. But he never liked it half as much as he did with her. James was a thoughtful friend. He remembered things about his friends. But he remembered every single thing about her. He was a sensitive friend. He hated to see his friends suffering. But every time he saw her cry, it was like his heart was being crushed. James was an attentive friend. He loved spending time with friends. But when he was away from her, he couldn’t even function properly, like he was missing one half of him. Y/N is his best friend. But she is more, too. He loves her. But there’s something else: he is in love.  Amortentia never lies, after all.

When his hands tangled on Y/N’s hair, he smelled vanilla cream. When he kissed Y/N’s lips, he tasted caramel pie.

[ephemeral--dreams]

blood and grenadine

Scar/Reader

Word count: 1,531

Rating: M

Warnings: Scar is his own warning...!

Notes: feral cat reader who cannot accept affection is very important to me thanks. anyway I haven't stopped thinking about scar for a month. get him out of my head

☆ ☾ ☆ ──────────────────

You grit your teeth. It's getting tiring, the way he kept doing this. No, it is stressful. The way he goes around taking people you care about or causing mass destruction to get your attention. You worry that he's going to end up killing someone before you ever get there to confront him. Someone could get hurt, and it'll be your fault, because he's only targeting them because of his obsession with you. You wish he'd just come after you directly instead of doing all this. You don't like these little games he plays.

It's a typical but no less frustrating sight to show up to fire everywhere and screaming and him waiting for you expectantly. His head tilts. “What a coincidence. I've been expecting you.”

“Don't call it a coincidence when you did this on purpose,” it comes out scathing, sharp. He only smiles pleasantly.

“Why stop doing something that brings results? You should stop giving me what I want by showing up. You're conditioning me~”

“You can't-” you look away, trying not to simmer in your own guilt. It's stupid. You know it. He'd caused chaos before you and he'd do it whether you came or not. But you still feel as if it's your fault. If you could manage to stop him then these things wouldn't keep happening, but he always seems to get away after he has his fun. “What do I have to do to make you stop, then?”

It's worth a try. Maybe there's something he wants. Something you can get for him or… you don't know. Anything.

“Stop?” he laughs, as if the very idea is absolutely hilarious to him. Some thin thread inside of you snaps. You can't do this anymore. This cycle of violence. Innocent people getting hurt. The feeling of being helpless against it all.

“This is about me, isn't it? Then come after me. You want to fight? Then I will fight you. You want to hurt someone? Hurt me. Leave out the extra steps to get my attention. You don't need to involve anyone else.”

He's silent for a long moment as he stares at you. It's unusual for him to stop talking. But there's some sort of interest. That's what you're betting on. 

“Do you have any idea what you're offering?”

“I'm offering whatever you want.”

The expression that spreads across his face sends a shiver down your spine, his grin razorblade sharp conflicting with the strange infatuation in his eyes as he steps closer, heat radiating as he steps into your space. You resist the urge to step back. “You. Be mine for the night, and everyone here gets to run free! Isn't it a fair deal?”

There's all kinds of implications there that you don't like. God only knows what exactly he plans to do. Giving him free reign over you for even a night is a terrible, terrible idea. But does your safety really matter in comparison to that of others?

It doesn't. 

“...Fine. It's a deal.”

“You've made an excellent choice, little lamb. Let's not waste time,” the portal opens before you are given even a single chance to second guess, a hand on your shoulder coaxing you through. “Come, come. We'll have a good time, I promise. You'll want to join me when I'm done with you~”

☆

You're so tense. You always are. It's one of the easiest things to notice about you. Though it's rather troublesome when what he needs from you is for you to trust him, let him get into your head. 

“...What do you want me to do,” you ask the moment you're both through the portal, not even a moment to get your bearings. Straight to business. 

"Patience, dearest," Scar murmurs, hand still wrapped around yours in a one-sided grip as he leads you through the maze of halls. "First, we must prepare. Sometimes in order to experience the best in life, you have to shed the old.”

Your silence is uneasy, terse. You're waiting for the other shoe to drop, he can tell. It's like you think he's going to do something awful! As if he would, now that he's finally gotten a chance to get his hands on you in a way that isn't a mere fight. You simply don't appreciate how much effort he goes to just to get you to look at him. You act as if he's always out to torment you for the sake of it. 

Which he's not. His intentions are so clear! How haven't you realized it yet? The obliviousness is as endearing as it is frustrating. It's because you don't think of anything but the weight of the world. Stupid, overly self sacrificial little lamb. Not tonight.

He tugs you through his bedroom to the connecting bathroom. You stand in the corner watching warily as he sets the faucet on the tub running, debating which of the oils he wants to put in. What would you like? He knows so much about you but not such simple things. If only you weren't so resistant. He puts in what reminds him most of your perfume after a long moment of contemplation. Then he moved to light some candles. Too dark in here. Scar paid attention to every detail, setting the mood for the evening.

The water steams as he shuts off the stream. He turns to you expectantly, then moves to guide you over himself when you don't come over. “Well?” If you're not going to undress yourself he has no issue helping you along. 

You look at him. You look at the water. You look back. Suspicious. Hmph. You think a simple bath is an attempt to drown you, is that it? What a warped imagination. He's never met someone so overly cautious. “Little lamb, it's just a bath. You've got ash on you from all that chaos earlier, hm? Get in, come on.”

You look no less defensive over it, movements stiff as you obey regardless, clothing neatly folded as it is removed before you sink into the water with the kind of hesitance that feels entirely out of place for what is supposed to be a moment of relaxation. That's all it is. He just wants to ease the tension. That's it! 

He thinks that it's a good thing the tub is big enough for two, as he strips and slips in behind you. 

"Little lamb, relax," Scar's voice is quiet, his hands on your shoulders, kneading them. All the while, you remain stiff, a contrast to the warmth of the water. You really think he's going to harm you, don't you? Skittish. Perhaps that's not so surprising, but.. He lets out a soft sigh. Adorable, but so difficult. “Enjoy it. I’m not the grasping hand all the time, dearest.”

“You're a violent maniac,” is all you say in response.

“And you're too tense,” He feels a bit like he's coaxing a feral cat into accepting affection. It's as endearing as it is pitiful. Do you even know how to relax, he wonders? With how much you burden yourself with things he wouldn't be surprised if the answer was no. You almost seem more distressed when he's here being gentle with you than when he tries to attack you. As if it's all a complete and utter shock to your system. “It would do you good to let go of things. You can't can't carry so much weight forever, you know.”

You let out a quiet huff, but are otherwise silent. Is the idea really so preposterous to you? 

A little of the tension starts to ease from your body under his attention eventually, though. The slightest bit. But it is a step in the right direction. He's got his work cut out for him if he ever wants to get you to love him back, now doesn't he?

“This isn't a battlefield. I don't intend to hurt you tonight. Alright? I just wanted some alone time with you. You can calm down. You've got to give me a chance, dear~”

You tilt your head to look back at him balefully. “Maybe if you stopped causing me stress…”

“Poor little lamb,” he coos, hands still rubbing over your back. “Does it upset you that much?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. Then I'll break into your house next time I want to see you. Then you can't complain. Yes?” Let it not be said that he can't compromise. 

“I- fine. Whatever. Just don't attack anyone. Please.”

“Please? Are we pleading now? How cute. But alright,” Scar leans down to kiss the top of your head. You tense again. “Shh, shh, let it happen~ Don't go all stiff again now.”

“What do you want.”

“I want you to be mine, of course. But I'll accept it if you stop acting like I'm going to stab you in the back every time I touch you, for now.”

“...A tall order.”

“We have all night.”

You sigh. “Try your best, then,” it's all the acquiescence you will offer to his intent. But Scar will take it.

He has you in his grasp now. It's only a matter of time before he gets your heart. 

[dawndelion-winery]

Hear Me Out

They try hint at their crush on you

Ft. Arlecchino, Capitano, Childe, Dottore, Pantalone

Arlecchino:

She does it from the moment she confirms that her feelings for you are genuine and not just some passing fancy

Which means she's very serious about it and does take slight offence that you're not responding accordingly

Do you not like her back? Are you ignoring her hints to avoid hurting her feelings?

The definition of "please reject me so I can move on"

Is it because you heard the orphans calling her "mum" and got the wrong idea?

Please she's dying to know, she's been bringing you flowers like every other day

Lends you her jacket and hopes you forget to return it so she has an excuse to see you again

Columbina awkwardly patting her back when she stares into empty space in agony when you brush off yet another of her flirting attempts as being friendly

At some point she does ask you to just outright reject her so she can move on

Lowkey wants to go apeshit when she finds out you actually like her too and were just too nervous to flirt back

Capitano:

He has a good rep, so he hopes that improves his dateability in your eyes

He'll bring you cute trinkets he comes across from wherever he goes!!

Would also keep a matching piece for himself so he can imagine that y'all are dating

Also has someone help him take pictures of him should he ever go anywhere scenic and have it made into a sort of postcard for you

He wonders if you ever end up looking at him instead of the view (he hopes you do)

He subtly sneaks glances at you, but not so subtle so that there's a chance you'll catch him and possibly tell him that you're into him too

Ok in all honesty his flirting game probably sucks ass and he'd probably tell you your eyes are like his dog's as a compliment

Please just give him a chance his colleagues are getting sick of his silent brooding when you don't notice how he polished his helmet extra shiny just for you

Childe:

The most obvious of them all please he's clinging to you like he's obsessed

So many terrible jokes that aren't even jokes

"Wouldn't it be funny if we kissed- no? Not even once? Ok haha, no I'm not upset I was kidding."

Unlike Arlecchino, he knows rejection isn't going to make him move on

So he hovers like a dog off the streets that just picked you as its new master

Makes a point to tell you everything he succeeds at, even if it's mundane

Stuff like "hey I made really good waffles, I could cook for you y'know?" Or "Yeah I fixed that door all on my own I'm really handy around the house."

Like Capitano, he brings you trinkets

Unlike Capitano, they aren't always wholesome and may come from the people and monsters he beat up/killed

Brings them to you like a cat presenting their hunt

Dottore:

Makes synthetic human parts that are as identical to yours as possible and compliment them in front of you without telling you they're based on you

"What do you think about these eyes?"

"...yes, they're very...eye-like?"

"They're a lovely pair of eyes, wouldn't you agree? Look at how they-"

Yes, he absolutely will point out how they function to you. Yes, he thinks he's being romantic

So he doesn't get why you don't seem to catch on that he's into you

Did you not realise those were your organs he complimented?

In a way it gives him some weird satisfaction that he knows you more intimately than even you

But he does want you to realise eventually

So he'll walk up behind you under the guise of "monitoring your work" and inhale your scent like the lunatic he is (another trait of yours he'll make sure to remember)

Pantalone:

Isn't it obvious? He spoils you

He lets you use his wallet like a subscription trial

Enjoy it? Consider dating him to extend the privilege duration

He makes it very clear cut to you: he's into you, and he'll take care of you for as long as you're his beloved

He also makes his interest in you very clear to everyone else, so chances are, there's no one else who's dare approach you unless it's another harbinger

And be very clear on this: once you say yes to him, there's no backing out

Even before you start dating, he acts as though you already are

He wouldn't pressure you into anything you're uncomfortable with, but expect an arm around your waist to hold you close to him

Like I said, very clear cut, there's no way you could mistake his affection

Taglist[send an ask to be added/removed]: @myluvkeiji @pluvioseprince @aqui-soba @favonius-captain @tiredsleep @raincxtter @loverofthe-stars @gensimping-for-all @irethepotato @almond-adeptus @mx-kamisato @yuzuricebun @chaosinanutshell @heizours @codename-hiraeth @andreiling01 @callmemeelah @sadlonelybagel @plinkuro @thevictoriousmoon @mastering-procrastinating @ineshapanda

[mrsbuckybarnes1917]

Request from @lives-in-midgard: Bucky and reader just watched a movie and then cuddled up to sleep. After a few minutes a thunderstorm begins and reader can feel that Bucky holds her more tighter because the thunder and the lightning triggers something in him. Reader comforts Bucky and then has the idea to build a blanket fort with Bucky.

Word Count: 1,872

Warnings: Thunderstorms, Bucky's mental health

Sometimes you enjoyed a good session of Netflix and chill with Bucky but more often than not you'd end up with Hulu and hang, especially when he came home worn out from his day job of being a hero. Tonight was one of those nights. Bucky had come home completely and utterly shattered. You had been worried that he wouldn't make it home before the forecasted storm that was supposed to be rolling in. But he had come home safe and sound, if not a little worse for wear.

“Hey Buck,” you greeted him at the door with a soft tone and small peck on the cheek. 

He responded with a deep sigh, shrugging off his jacket and toeing off his dirty boots. Normally you'd chastise him for getting mud on the floor, but something told you to hold your tongue.

But it was as though he could read your mind. Bucky looked down at the mud on the floor and sighed. “I'm sorry, I'll clean it up.”

“Don't worry, baby. I'll sort it out later.”

“It's not fair on you.”

He picked up his boots and deposited them outside the front door. Bucky shut the door behind him turning back to you. He looked so lost and exhausted. You wondered what on Earth had happened to him during his last mission. As tempting it was to probe further, you sensed that it might not be the right time. Instead you opted for another question.

“What do you need?”

“I don't know,” he answered miserably.

“How does a shower sound? And I'll order your favorite take out and we can have a TV dinner. Okay?”

Bucky nodded mutely, trudging off to the bathroom. You sighed and picked up your phone to place your order. The food should arrive quickly, but you felt guilty for dragging the poor delivery man out in such terrible weather but your boyfriend needed pampering.

You answered the door to a pimply teenager who you tipped heavily for his troubles. It took you a moment to notice why he hadn't moved from his position of accepting your tip. Bucky had emerged dripping wet with a low hung towel draped over his waist. He was the epitome of a Greek God, water droplets tracing the outlines of his clearly defined abs.

“Get going, kid. Don't want to get caught in the storm.” You ushered the teen out of your doorway before closing the door behind him. You turned to Bucky with a grin. “Dressing to impress, are we?”

He blushed slightly. “Sorry. I was just looking for that towel.”

Immediately you realized that he was after the large fluffy white towel you had bought him a few months ago. It had been a self care gift. You had advised him that he needed to take care of himself better, that he deserved to have comfort. He had pretended to scorn the gift, but when your back was turned, you saw him rubbing his fingers between the soft fibers. It warmed your heart to know that he had heeded your words.

“Yeah, here it is.”

You fetched the requested item from the linen closet where you had put it after its last wash. He took the towel in his vibranium hand, his flesh one wrapped around your outstretched one, not letting you go.

You looked up into his eyes, searchingly. “Everything okay?”

“Only when you're here.”

He smiled, retreating to the bedroom to dry off and get dressed. You couldn't help but smile back at him, giving his ass a little pat as he left. Bucky returned promptly as you finished dishing out all the food onto one plate. He was definitely hungry, his insatiable supersoldier diet meant he always had room for a meal. Usually his mood was the only thing that would suppress his appetite, so it was a good sign to see him licking his lips with anticipation.

“Just one plate?” he frowned. “Is it all for you or me?”

“I thought we could share. Did you know that in Ethiopian culture, eating from the same plate is a symbol of love?”

“But you ordered Korean food,” Bucky replied, frowning in confusion. 

“You speak like six different languages and you’re so smart, but sometimes Bucky, you can be really dense.”

Bucky smirked at your teasing. He grabbed the plate from your hands and headed to the couch, beckoning for you to follow. He pulled the coffee table up to the couch and sat down on the floor leaning against it. You joined him in time to hear him heave a sigh of relief.

“Feel good to get off your feet?” you asked.

“You have no idea, Doll,” Bucky sighed.

“Did something happen out here?” you asked tentatively, helping yourself to a gimbap of the plate.

Bucky grabbed his chopsticks and stuffed a piece of sweet and sour chicken into his mouth as a way to avoid answering your question. You sighed, rubbing his thigh as an apology for your intrusion. He was definitely not in the mood to talk and you were happy to eat and watch your movie in silence.

Once you had both finished your food, you paused the movie to grab a few cushions and pushed the coffee table away to make room. You and Bucky made yourselves comfortable on the floor under a large blanket, turning down the lights and restarting the movie. You felt relaxed in his arms, in the dimmed light with the sound of rain pattering against the window.

The raindrops turned from the gentle tapping into a hammering against the glass panes of the apartment. It was accompanied by a duo of distant rumbling and bright flashes. The wind howled through the rickety apartment and you snuggled deeper under the blanket and against Bucky's side.

It was only when Bucky's fingers dug into your side sharply did you notice how tight his grip on your waist had become. This was what prompted you to cast your senses out and you noticed how rigid your boyfriend had become. His body was stiff and his breath was shallow and faster than normal. Your head was resting against his chest and you heard his heart pounding. This demeanor could almost have been mistaken for arousal, but you knew your boyfriend well enough to know when he was being triggered.

The trauma Bucky had suffered was unimaginable. He rarely spoke about his time at HYDRA, and what he did tell you was evasive at best. There would be times where he would stare off into space with a haunted look or wake up drenched in sweat after a nightmare. When you had first met, he had been reluctant to sleep over and you had felt anxious about his dedication to your relationship. But he had been surprisingly forthcoming when you'd expressed your concerns. Since then, you'd progressed in your commitment to each other and now you were a great source of comfort to him and sleeping beside you had significantly reduced the incidence of his bad dreams. And here he was again, showing all the signs of being lost in a haze of his past.

“Buck?” you whispered. “Bucky?”

He was mumbling repeatedly under his breath. “I'm not the Winter Soldier. I'm James Bucky Barnes.”

It broke your heart to hear the desperation in his voice. You had missed it at first because his voice was so soft and went unnoticed, masked by the sound of the television.

“That's right, baby. You're James Bucky Barnes, my handsome sweet boyfriend. You're kind, smart and brave. I'm so proud of how you fight every single day. How much good you do. That's the man I fell in love with. That's my Bucky.”

Bucky turned to you, not once releasing his grip on you. “I had a bad day,” he sighed.

“I know, baby.”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“That's alright. You don't have to. But I'm here for you if you do. You know that, right?”

“I appreciate that. But I don't want you to see that part of me.”

His words made you feel a little disappointed. Of course it was his choice, but you wanted him to let you in.

“I love every part of you, Buck.”

“I don't know that I deserve that.”

“Well I'm here to tell you that you do, everyday until you believe it. Now, how can I help you now?”

“I should have listened to you and put up curtains. The lightning, it's-” Bucky didn't know how to put into words the source of his distress.

You bit your lip, pondering the problem for a moment. “Oh! I have an idea! Be back in a minute, need to grab a few things. Is that okay?” You checked if he didn't mind you leaving his side for a bit.

Bucky nodded and you jumped up and into his bedroom. You had insisted he bought a bed and with it came pillows, pillow cases and bedsheets. You ran into his room to grab the biggest one you could find.

"Got it!”

You proceeded to pull the chairs from the dining room table and place them parallel to the couch, facing outwards. You shook out the sheet and in one swift motion draped it across the backs of all the chairs, effectively creating a blanket fort. You dropped a few of the decorative ornaments that you had bought Bucky onto the chair, weighing the sheets down to keep tension in the roof. Last of all, you grabbed the little galaxy projector and flicked it on. 

The bedsheet was thick enough to block out the light coming from the windows. And the cave you'd created emanated a soft purple glow that Bucky found soothing.

He put his arm back around you as you dropped to the floor and crawled against his side.

“Want to carry on with the movie? Or I can put some music on? Or anything else you want.”

“Umm,” Bucky took a minute to think what he wanted.

You waited patiently for him to process his thoughts. Bucky struggled to give an immediate answer when he was exhausted and often got frustrated if people rushed him. You tried hard to respect his needs.

“You know that soundtrack you were listening to last week?”

You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion. You listened to a lot of music.

“The music from that show you like… the one with the Duke.”

“Wait, are you talking about Bridgerton?” A grin spread across your face, impressed that Bucky had noticed.

“Yeah, that one,” Bucky mumbled.

“Sure,” you answered, smiling and pulling out your phone and opening your Spotify app. You typed out Bucky's choice in the search box and hit play. “Happy?”

“Ecstatic.” Bucky answered, sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

You laid your head on the pillow beside his, looking up at the lights in the sheeted ceiling you'd created. The storm outside couldn't penetrate the haven you'd made. Bucky took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the storm that raged inside him. Your arm around his waist and your hand on his heart helped tame the tempestuous beast that gnawed upon his soul.

“Thank you,” he whispered in your ear. 

[bteezxyewriter12]

Gossip

Pairing- Mingi x Named Reader

Word count- 7.8k

Includes- Rumors, pussy eating, cum eating, missionary, cock riding, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Mingi Masterlist

Mingi POV

As I pass another group of female stylists on my way to the makeup artist who called me, I notice them look at me, whisper to each other and laugh so loudly

What the fuck?

This has been happening all day

Female staff laughing when I pass or whispering as soon as they see me

Some look me up and down then giggle while others give me a pitying look after

I don't know what the fuck is going on

Neither do the guys and they're saying it's not happening with them

It's just me

I get to Joanne, plopping down in the make up chair

"What's with the face?", she asks, as she tilts my head back, immediately starting on my foundation

"Something's going on"

"Like what?", she asks

"I don't know"

She snorts, "Cryptic much?"

I crack a smile at her sass

She's really cool and I've become friends with her

I like her "no nonsense tell it like it is" attitude

She doesn't sugar coat things and especially not with me or the guys

Which a lot of the staff do because they don't want to upset us

It's not that she doesn't care if we're upset but she says it's better to know the truth about stuff than believe the lies

I agree

Apparently I'm not the only one as the guys all like her and have formed their own friendships with her

She's really the only staff member we talk to about real shit

I trust her advice and judgement

"Wanna tell me what's going on without acting like a cryptic super villain in a lame comic?"

Rolling my eyes, I tell her what's been happening all day

Just as I finish, two makeup artists pass us and they give me a look, then whisper and laugh as they walk away

"See?", I say

"Ah. Yeah", she nods, spreading concealer under my eyes

"Do you know what that's about?"

"Yup", she answers, then says no more

I wait until she sweeps powder all over my face to confront her

"Well what's it about?"

"Close your eyes"

"Joanne!", I protest

"Just close your eyes Mingi. I'll tell you while I do your eye makeup"

I glare but then close my eyes

"Well?", I prompt

I feel a makeup brush run over my right eye as she talks, "Well there's some trash talk about you going around"

Trash talk?

What trash talk?

I haven't done anything to warrant trash talking

I don't talk to most of the staff here besides pleasantries and being polite

"And?"

She sighs, "Well people are saying you suck in bed. And you have a small dick"

"What?", I yell, my eyes snapping open

"Mingi! You're gonna mess up the make up and I'll be very upset if I have to do it all over again"

Fuck the makeup

People are talking about my dick and I want to know why

Or how they even came up with the idea that's it's small

Or that I'm terrible in bed

"How? What? Why? How?", I demand

She rolls her eyes again, "It's your own damn fault"

How?

How is this my fault?

"It's because of Bong-Cha", she replies, "You fucked her and never called her back. Never spoke to her again. Never sorted out if it was just a one night thing or not"

"So because I don't call she spreads rumors about me?"

She shrugs like it's no big deal, "She liked you Mingi. I guess she thought that night meant more. And when you went back to ignoring her, she got pissed"

So she spreads lies?

I slept with her once, a few weeks ago

It was on a whim

I was feeling horny after a performance and she was there

She was willing and I just did it

And I didn't go back to ignoring her

She's a stylist that is normally assigned to Yeosang and Jongho

I don't deal with her directly, just my stylists

I've said hi to her in passing since we slept together

She never looked like she was pissed at me

"She should have come and spoken to me instead of telling her friends lies about me"

"Yeah you're right", she agrees, "Close your eyes"

I do it instead of arguing

"What do I do?"

"Ignore it", she answers simply

"I can't ignore it!"

"Why not?"

"Because my dick isn't small!", I exclaim

I can't let that fucking go

I don't want people thinking that about me

And the fact that it's a lie and she took the immature route pisses me the fuck off

"Yeah I don't need to know about your dick ok?"

"Joanne!"

"Jesus, what?"

"I need to do something"

"Like what Mingi? What can you possibly do? You can't tell her to say it's a lie"

"Why not?", I ask, opening my eyes to look at her

That sounds like a good idea

Get her to take it back

"One because she won't admit she lied to her friends for a stupid reason. And two, no one would believe her anyway. They'd think that you forced her to say your dick isn't small", she says, "Just let it go"

"I cannot let it go", I growl

"Oh my god, stop with the guy shit with the massive protection over your reproductive organ! Christ, it's not the most important thing in the world"

"Right, because you'd want a rumor spread that your pussy is loose? Or that it's gross or dirty? Or that you don't know how to fuck?"

She snorts, "I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about my pussy or my fucking skills. I only care what the person I'm seeing thinks. And since I'm currently single, I couldn't give less of a rat's ass"

I know she's telling the truth about that

She really doesn't care what people think of her

It sounds so freeing

I wish I was like that but unfortunately I'm not

"Well that's you. I don't want rumors spread about me. About anything"

"Ok genius, what are you gonna do about it then?"

I don't fucking know

I have to think

"Close your eyes", she repeats and I sigh, doing it

As she adds more eye shadow, I rack my brain for something I could do to dispel this stupid rumor

And I do come up with something

It's stupid but it could work

"I could fuck another staff member", I think out loud, "That way that girl will know Bong-Cha is lying and set the record straight"

"That is a very bad idea", she answers

"No it's not", I say, defending the stupid idea

"Oh my god, yes it is! You're gonna sleep with someone just so they can spread it around that you have a big dick? And that you're good in bed? What if they decided to keep up the lie? Or what if they don't say anything at all? And who are you gonna get to sleep with you? They all think you have a small dick"

Yeah ok, I didn't think that far ahead

But apparently girls like to gossip so I bet that whoever I fuck will tell everyone my dick is big

I just gotta figure out who I can do this with

"There has to be someone", I mutter, thinking

"Yeah good luck with that"

I go through the list of staff members in my head, sorting them into no and maybes of who'd give it a shot to sleep with me

There's no definite yes' yet

As I go through the list, I get to one person and it's a yes

It's perfect actually

"I got it!", I yell, snapping my eyes open

"Mingi!", she shrieks, pulling the eyeliner from my eye, fuming, "Are you fucking crazy? Don't fucking open your eye like that! I could of stabbed you in the eye"

"Dramatic much?", I quip, raising my eyebrow

"We'll see how fucking dramatic I'm being when you're holding your eye, crying from the pain!"

"Alright I'm sorry!", I apologize, "I just got carried away"

She grumbles something under her breath and I ask her what she said

"Nothing. What do you want to say? I know you won't let me continue with the makeup until you tell me"

"I know who I can sleep with"

She sighs, "Who?"

"You"

"Excuse the fuck outta me?", she snaps

"No it's actually perfect", I tell her

"No it's actually not. I'm not a whore. I don't sleep with just anyone"

"C'mon Jo, I know you're not a whore. I don't want you to think that I think of you like that. I don't"

"Well that's a relief", she says sarcastically

"Look, what I'm suggesting, it'll actually work", I say, hurrying to explain, "You don't give a fuck about the rumor. I think everyone can see that. They know your personality, they know you're brutally honest. They know you have no stake in this. So they'll believe you when you refute the rumor"

She glares at me, her arms crossed over her chest, "No"

"C'mon! I'll make it good, I promise. I'm actually good in bed. That was a huge fucking lie"

I know I've good

I've heard that many times and have gotten no complaints so far so I know it's true

"Mingi, I just...no", she shakes her head, making my hopes fall, "I don't even fuck on the first three dates and I'm supposed to sleep with you? My friend?"

"Well yeah", I nod, "It's just a one time thing. You know it. I know it. There's a reason why we're doing it. Nothing's gonna change. We'll still be friends"

She bites her lip, looking hesitant, "I don't know Mingi"

"Please? It'll be fun. It's just a one night stand between friends"

She avoids my eyes, looking down at the floor

After a minute of silence, she says, "Yeah ok. Fine. Once"

"Yeah?", I repeat, hoping I didn't mishear

"Yes", she grits out

"Great!", I smile widely, "Tonight?"

"Jesus Christ, really?", she exclaims, "You move fucking fast, you know that?"

"Yeah well, just want the rumors to be over", I remind her

"Yeah well, Jesus"

"So tonight?", I repeat

"Yeah fine, tonight"

"Ok. Come to the dorm tonight"

"The dorm?", she says, raising an eyebrow, "With all the guys there?"

"Yeah it's fine. I have my own room and they have noise cancelling head phones"

"Uh...what's wrong with my apartment?", she says, looking a little uneasy

I shake my head, "Can't be seen there. If anyone sees me going in or out of your apartment the media will have a field day"

"Oh right", she mumbles, "Yeah ok. I'll come to the dorm"

"Great"

"Yeah great", she repeats, "Can I finish your makeup without interruptions now?"

"Yup", I smile, closing my eyes

"Unfuckingbelieveable"

--------------------------------

"I'm here", the text message reads

"Coming", I answer, then get up from my bed

Opening the front door, she stands there, looking hesitant

"Who's here?", Yeosang yells

"Jo?", Hongjoong asks

I turn around to find all of them being nosey and staring at her in shock

"What uh...what are you doing here?", Seonghwa asks

"She's here for me", I answer

"You?", Yunho gapes

I roll my eyes, "Yeah me"

Turning back to her, I take her hand, sparks running up my arm

What the fuck?

Ignoring it, I tug her gently inside, closing the door

"C'mon", I tell her, leading her to my room

Looking back at the guys gaping faces, I smirk, "Use your headphones"

"Oh my god", San squeals

I pull her into my room before she can hear anymore of San and Wooyoung's big mouth

Closing my door, I lock it because I don't trust those two buffoons

They'd come in here unannounced just to embarrass us

And she's doing this for me, I don't want her to be embarrassed

"You could put your stuff there", I tell her, pointing to my computer desk

"Oh, ok", she says, putting her bag on the desk, then taking her sneakers off and setting them under the desk, "Sorry about the sneakers. You kinda dragged me right in, I didn't have time to take my shoes off"

"No big deal", I answer, plopping on my bed

I thought I'd be nervous but now that she's here I'm more excited than anything

To say she's gorgeous is an understatement

She's stunning with her long hair, her bright eyes, cute nose, kissable lips and small body

She's standing nervously by my desk and I want her here next to me right now

"Come here", I call, watching her slowly move towards my bed

She sits at the edge, nervousness falling off her

"Don't worry Jo", I tell her softly, taking her hand and pulling her to me, "It's just me"

Leaning down, I press my lips to hers, kissing her

The second our lips touch, sparks fly around my body, every one of my nerves lighting up, heat flooding every inch of my skin

I don't know what the hell this is or why I'm feeling this but I fucking like it

Getting my arm around her, I pull her right against me, kissing her harder, my tongue playing with hers

Her arms move around my neck as she kisses me and fuck me it feels so good

I lay down, taking her with me, her body curled into mine as she lays in my arms

As we kiss, our tongues playing against each others, her fingers slowly move into the back of my hair, tugging slightly and fuck, I really like it

Guess I'm into hair pulling

Her other hand slides under the sleeve of my tshirt, gripping my upper arm hard

Honestly I like that too

No one has really done that or grabbed me there

Normally by now we'd have our clothes off and be fucking already

With her it's different

Yeah she's small and kinda dainty but for some reason I don't want to go hard yet

I like this soft making out, touching and exploring each other's bodies

It feels nice, it feels like more than a quick fuck

I get lost in kissing her, moving my hand under her tank top, touching her soft skin

Her skin trembles against my fingers as I slide them slowly up her back and I fucking like that a lot

Moving my lips from hers, I press kisses to her neck, gliding my hand from her back to her stomach, slowly trailing up her body

The soft moans from her mouth are surprisingly beautiful and turning me on

Sliding my lips down to her chest, I lavish kisses all over her, pulling my hand from under her tank top to pull the neckline of it lower

Her hand moves from my arm to under my shirt, her hand feeling so small, her cold fingers a shock to my skin

It feels good and I moan into the top of her boob I'm currently kissing

Pulling her tank top lower, I hook into her bra, popping her boob out, licking along her hard nipple softly, my cock completely hard

She groans, her hand finding it's way into my hair, tugging softly

I really like that and it sends shivers down my spine

Wrapping my mouth around her nipple, I suck once, her body arching into mine as she moans out so softly, "Mingi"

That sends shocks through my body, the way she said my name so fucking sensually, blowing my mind

And I know, I'd do anything to hear it again

Moving off her nipple, I slide her tank top up and off her body, her bra following

Looking down at her, I'm awed at how perfect she is

She is exactly what I'd go for in a girl, looks and body wise

I squeeze her boobs softly, my eyes on her face as I say, "So pretty aegi"

Her cheeks turn pink as she shyly looks at me and I'm shocked she's being like this

Normally she's loud, in your face, not taking shit from anyone, cursing up a storm

I've never heard her be so quiet

Her hands slide up my arms slowly, until they wrap around my neck and it feels so right, it's throwing me off

She sits up a little, her lips against mine in a kiss that has stars blasting in my vision

This time I don't think about how her kiss makes me feel, instead just enjoying it

She pulls me down as she lays down, kissing me slowly but passionately

I've never been kissed like this before and I fucking love it

Her hands move to the bottom of my shirt, taking her time as she pulls it up my body

I move my arms through the sleeves, reluctantly pulling away from her so she can get it over my head

Her eyes watch me as she drops my shirt to the floor, her hand moving to my waist

She gazes down at my body, biting her lip as her hands slowly move up

Her tiny hands run along my stomach to my chest, every nerve on fire from her touch

She spreads her hands all over my chest, slipping over my shoulders, beginning to roam my back

"Kiss me", she says softly, her gaze moving to mine

I immediately lean down, pressing my lips to hers

She pulls me against her, her soft skin against mine, feeling so good

Her fingers trail up and down my back as her tongue plays with mine, fire racing in every cell in my body

Slowly, her lips move to my neck, kissing right into the spots that make me feel fucking amazing

I don't know how she found them so quickly but she did, my mind clouding as I moan loudly

Her tongue licks my skin before kissing me, her hands moving down to my sweatpants, under the waist band of the pants and boxers, tugging them down

"Fuck", I moan, reaching for her pants, pulling them down as far as I can

I press kisses into her neck, her whimpers so fucking hot

"Take it off Mingi", she whispers

I groan, moving off her, standing by the foot of my bed

Leaning over her, I pull the rest of her pants, along with her panties, off and dropping them on the floor

I raise my eyes, the sight of her naked and in my bed driving me crazy

She's fucking perfect

Everything about her body is stunning

I can't tear my eyes away, just drinking her in

"Mingi", she whispers, my eyes moving to her pretty brown ones, "Off Mingi"

Right, I'm supposed to be taking off my clothes

I pull the rest of my pants and boxers down, getting them off in one go

"Holy shit", I hear her whisper

What?

I look back at her but her eyes are elsewhere

She stares in between my legs in disbelief, "That is a huge dick. How the fuck?"

I just smirk, "Rumors were false as you can see"

"Yeah", she says, her eyes wide

Grabbing her ankles, I pull her down to the edge of the bed while I kneel on the floor

"Uh-"

"Gonna eat your pussy", I tell her as I open her legs

I suck in a breath seeing her cunt for the first time

So fucking tiny

It's going to be hard getting inside her

I'm just gonna have to make her soaking wet then

"Oh...I thought-"

"I have to", I say, looking up at her, "You're really small and I need you to cum before you take my cock. I don't want to hurt you"

She looks unsure, saying, "You don't have to do it if you don't want to. You can just use your fingers"

I shake my head

I think I made it sound like it's a chore I have to do to get her ready for my dick

It's not

"I want to"

"You don't have to lie"

"Jo, I'm not", I assure her, "I want to taste you, I want to make you cum in my mouth"

"You do?", she asks skeptically

"So much", I reply, "You're pussy look so fucking good. So wet already and I just want my face buried in your cunt. So can I?"

The look of disbelief on her face is so cute as she nods

Taking that as a go, I put my tongue on her pussy and lick up slowly, getting a good taste of her

Fucking delicious, just like I knew she'd be

"Oh my god", she moans

I smirk then run my tongue rapidly up and down her cunt, right between her swollen pussy lips, my face getting so fucking soaked

"Shit", she whimpers, her legs already shaking around my head

I push my face into her cunt and at the same time pull her closer to me by her legs, desperate to be as close to her cunt as I can

Moving her legs around my shoulder, I dive into her wet hole, shoving my tongue in as far as I can

"Mingi, fuck", she cries as she clenches on my tongue

"Fuck. Do that again", I murmur

"Ddd...do what?", she stammers

"Squeeze my tongue when I tongue fucking you"

"God Mingi"

"Please?"

She nods and I smile before I continue to fuck my tongue into her pussy

And each time, she does squeeze my tongue hard, sending pleasure down to my cock

She moves up on her elbows and I can feel her watching me

Sure enough when I look at her, her eyes are on me, biting her lip

"Like what you see baby?", I tease between tongue thrusts

She nods, whimpering

"Like watching me eat your pretty pussy?"

"Yes Mingi", she answers, pleasure all over her face

I slide my hands up her thighs to her hips and keep going, my fingers dancing across her skin, her body trembling against my touch

I really really like that

She definitely likes watching, her pussy drenched and dripping into my mouth so much I have to swallow frequently

It's fine, she tastes so good

I slide my tongue out of her hole, licking all the way up and flicking her clit

She lets out a soft pretty moan

I like how quiet she is

I'm used to screaming and dirty talk and everything being super rough, so this is a nice change of pace

I like that I have to really work for her sounds, that I have to listen hard for them

And when she calls my name, it's better than I've ever heard it before

It just makes me want to please her so much just so I can be rewarded with hearing my name in her pretty voice

Turning my attention to her clit, I lavish it with licks, starting with the flat of my tongue and ending with my tip at the end of the lick

She breathes hard, watching me, my hands wrapping around her boobs, squeezing gently

I'm so into eating her cunt, actually loving every second of this

Tugging her pulsing clit into my mouth, I moan as I start to suck on her

"Mingi", she gasps, her hands gripping my sheets so hard, her knuckles are white

I amp it up, slurping all over her clit, wanting nothing than to keep it in my mouth forever

Still gripping her boobs, I move my fingers, pinching her nipples, her head lolling back as she moans quietly

"No baby", I tell her between sucks, "Look at me. Watch me"

She lifts her head, her eyes on me again, just how I want it

I tug softly on her clit, switching between slurping hard and suckling softly, visibly bringing her closer and closer

I suck hard as I pinch her nipple, a loud groan coming from her as her hand slides in my hair, holding on, at the same time her hips snap into my face

She keeps moving her hips as I play with her clit, fucking my face, her hands pulling my hair hard

"Yes baby", I moan between sucks, "More aegi. Fuck my face baby"

"Fuck", she whispers, her hips moving faster as I suck desperately on her

"Mingi, I...I'm gonna cum", she breathes

"Eyes on mine when you cum", I demand

Her big brown eyes meet mine, the pleasure in them turning me on

"Mingi", she calls softly, her legs shaking around me as she cums, grinding into my mouth

I hold her gaze as I suck her through it, then drop my tongue down to her hole

I lick her cum, moaning in shock at how fucking good tastes

So sweet, so creamy, so delicious

Shit

I can't help but close my eyes as I lick up and swallow all of her cum

When she finishes and I clean her up, I press a kiss to her pretty pussy lips, then move to press kisses to her inner thighs

I can hear her breathing hard, her fingers lazily running through my hair as I suck on her skin

I leave a dark purple bruise on her and when she sees it, she says softly, "More"

"More?", I tease, "You sure?"

She bites her lip, nodding, "All over"

"I can do that", I murmur, licking a spot on her inner thigh right before I suck her skin in my mouth

I love the feeling of her skin in my mouth, how soft she is, love hearing her quiet noises

After leaving many marks on her, I sit up on my knees between her legs, pulling her closer to me, getting her legs around my waist

"Gonna play with your pussy for a little. Get you nice and wet to take me"

She nods, breathing hard

Moving my cock between her lips, I move forward, sliding my length on her cunt, my head brushing against her clit

Fuck, it feels so good

And based on her soft moans, it feels good for her

Her pussy is so wet, coating my cock, the feeling of the sticky slick so good

I keep rubbing my shaft along her cunt, her clit throbbing against my head, that sensation running up my spine

"You're so fucking wet", I murmur, keeping her legs spread wide, my eyes stuck on her swollen pussy lips wrapped around my cock

I move a little faster when my cock head slips inside her hole accidentally

She moans as she clenches hard, pleasure zapping up my body

"Fuck, tight", I groan

Even from that little bit, I can tell she's really tight

Glancing up at her, I pull my cock head out, then slide it back in, watching her body shake, her hands grip my sheets hard, pleasure on her face

I pull out then move in again, her legs squeezing my waist, her head pressing back into her pillow, her eyes closed

"Feels good?", I ask

She nods, biting her lip

Ok

Gripping my cock, I guide my head and a tiny bit more of my cock into her cunt, the immediate squeeze around me so fucking pleasurable

"Think I should fuck you this way?", I ask, thrusting in and out

"Yes", she moans, her hands twisting in the sheets

"Yeah? With just my head? The way you're clenching on me makes me think you like it"

"I do", she whimpers, "Please Mingi, fuck me like this"

"I will baby", I assure her, moving into her hole faster, keeping a grip on my cock so I have control of how much enters her

I'm not going to lie, it feels really good

I've never used just my cock head to fuck a girl

But she is the tiniest I've ever been in and this is a good way to stretch her pussy out

I feel her drench me, tearing my eyes from her beautiful face down to her cunt

Holy shit

"My god, I've never seen a pussy this creamy before", I gape, slowly pulling my head out, then moving back in, watching her swollen pussy lips petal open, her tiny hole spread and her cream dripping on to me

On to the bed

"Is...is that bad?"

"No baby", I say, mesmerized, "I love it"

The sloppy wet sound of her pussy taking my cock head is fucking music to my ears

It's so loud, so pretty, so pornographic

"Feels good?", I ask when she moans

"Yes", she nods, "Good for you?"

"So good", I assure her, "You're sloppy creamy little hole is so pretty swallowing my head. Could watch this all day"

"Mmm", she moans softly, one of her hands moving from the sheet to wrap around my wrist, holding on tightly

Her body shakes, her breath getting faster, her cunt throbbing on my head every time I go inside her

She's close and I want her orgasm so badly

I want to feel her, want to see what I tasted all over my cock

"Cum on my head", I tell her, watching her hole throb around me, "I know you want to. C'mon aegi"

I thrust into her hole a few more times when her body arches, her cunt sucking on my head as she cums, throbbing so fucking blissfully

The pleasure from her orgasm is as shocking as it is amazing, blowing my mind

I watch her hole spasm, her cream dripping down my shaft

"Mingi!", she moans, holding onto my wrist so tightly, "Fuck me Mingi. Please. Want your cock inside me baby. Now"

I want that too but I don't want to hurt her

Letting go of my length, I hover over her, my hands on either side of her head as I slowly push inside her

Fuck fuck fuck

So fucking tight

I can't think of anything except how tight she is, can't feel anything except for her cunt stretching around me

Getting inside her feels incredible

"Yes Mingi!", she cries loudly, her legs squeezing around me, her hands grabbing my hips, gripping hard, "Please, more. All of you"

"I don't want to hurt you baby", I tell her as I ease into her, her pussy sucking me in, latching on to my cock tightly, spasming quickly

Her hands pull on my hips, helping me get inside her

"All of you now!", she whispers, "I can take you"

I bite my lip as the pleasure takes over and I slam the rest of my cock into her, impaling her on my shaft, hitting so deeply inside

"Yes, fuck!", we both shout, her body arching into mine

"Yes, yes, yes", she whimpers, "Fuck me Mingi. Fuck, want you so bad"

I nod, leaning down, my lips crashing to hers just as I start to move

Her kiss sears through my body, fire running along my back, as I pull out then slam back in

I move fast, wrapping one of my arms around her waist, lifting her right against me, her arms moving around my back

Her pussy splits open so well for me, actually taking my entire cock without a problem

Her tongue plays with mine, her fingers barely running up and down my back, shivers on my skin every place she touches

Those shivers just enhance the pleasure, making me crave more

I don't know why I'm feeling like this

I never shivered during sex either so I don't know what the fuck is going on

I don't want to think about it, I'm just going with it

I thrust into her harder, feeling so fucking amazing, the sound of her sopping pussy mixing with the slapping sound of our skin hitting with every stroke

I just keep kissing her, not able to get enough of her lips against mine

Hiking her legs up higher on my waist gives me more room to move, giving her stroke after stroke, right into her spot

"Mingi", she moans, sending chills down my spine

I love hearing my name in her voice

I move my kisses to her neck, feeling her skin tremble, one of her arms moving around my neck, sliding into my hair, holding on

Making my way down her neck, down her chest, I wrap my hand around her boob, pushing it up

I run my tongue over her hard nipple once, then lock my lips around it, sucking hard

"Oh god", she whimpers, her cunt clenching my cock hard, her pussy flooding my length even more

Her pussy spasms get faster with each fuck into her, her moans getting louder

"I'm...I'm....", she whimpers

"Mm hmm", I groan around her nipple, moving my hips faster, wanting to feel her cum on my entire cock

After a few more thrusts, she cries my name, climaxing, intense pleasure hitting me hard

I shove my entire cock inside her, letting her ride it out on my length

And it feels fucking mind blowing

I lift my head, watching her cum underneath me and fuck, she's so stunning

Her legs are squeezing me hard, her hand pulling my hair, pleasure all over her face

"So pretty", I hear myself say, my fingers running in her hair

Her eyes open, looking shyly at me, her cheeks pink

Her hand unclenches my hair, sliding through the strands to softly touching my cheek

Fire zaps into my cells as I turn my head into her palm, kissing it gently

She smiles softly at me, lifting her head, her lips against mine in another heated kiss

As I kiss her, she gently pushes me to the side and I go with her until she ends up on top of me, straddling me

Breaking the kiss, she sits up in my lap, her hand holding my cock up for her

She sinks down on my length, whimpering softly, wiggling her hips as she goes, opening up her pussy for me

"Mingi", she barely whispers, shivers running down my spine hearing my name

"Mmm baby", I groan, the pleasure of getting inside her so fucking intense, "All the way down. Split that pussy open for me. Fuck, you feel so fucking good"

Her hips are mesmerizing me with the way they move as she takes more of me slowly, her pussy making a sucking sensation on my dick as she pulls me inside

I keep my hands on her hips, trying desperately not to dig my fingers into her skin

She just has a little more of me to take

"Please baby", I moan, "Take all my cock"

She whimpers, finally shoving herself down, my length buried inside her to the hilt

"Mmm Mingi, fuck", she moans, "So big, shit"

She sits on me, feeling me, her pussy walls fluttering around my length, driving me crazy

I move my gaze down to where we meet, spreading her lips apart to get a better view

"Oh my god", I whimper, my eyes on her hole around me

"Www..what? What's wrong?"

"Fuck, you're pussy looks so fucking good wrapped around my cock", I whisper, glancing up at her, "That fucking hole, fuck. Straining around me"

I actually think I might be too big for her

"Does it hurt?", I ask

"No", she shakes her head, "It feels so good. God, I've never had a cock like yours inside me"

"Cock like mine?", I ask

Her hips move, rocking on me, my head rubbing inside her, soft moans escaping her mouth as her body shivers

Each rub into her spot makes her clench on me, pleasure so good

"Yeah. Huge like yours. Snug inside me. No extra room. So fucking deep. Overstuffs me", she groans, her hips grinding on me faster, "Never had a cock this hard inside. God, clenching on you....fuck so good. I....I think I really like having your dick inside me"

I smile at her, happy she enjoys being with me

"I like having my cock inside you. Your pussy is the tightest, smallest, I ever had around me but you fit so perfectly on me. Like your pussy was meant to take me"

She tilts her head, smiling too, "I know what you mean"

I'm glad she does and I don't sound like an idiot

She leans over, her lips brushing against mine in a brief kiss

Then she's sitting back up, her hands against my shoulders as she slides up my shaft

When she gets to my head, she squeezes so hard, making me gasp from the bliss

As she slowly slides down my cock, she clenches over and over, feeling like she's sucking on my cock

She bottoms me out, grinding on me then she's sliding back up again

She repeats the movements slowly but takes me in so deeply, each clench of her pussy as she takes me back in sending unbelievable bliss through my whole body

I never had anyone ride me like this, never this good, never this deep, never squeezing my cock so much as I go back in

It's driving me crazy and my head is getting hazy

She's getting me so fucked out and it's a new experience for me

Normally I'm doing that to the girl

But God do I like the emptiness in my head, the only thing I can do is feel her, feel the pleasure

She sits up a little straighter, her hands now on my abs, moving just a touch faster

I watch her as I feel everything, loving the pleasure on her face as she moves on me

She's so fucking stunning it's stupid

She breathes harder, my gaze moving to her pussy creaming my cock like crazy

All over, a pretty white mess covering me, thick creamy ring around the base of my cock and I just want more

Her skin has a light sheen of sweat but her hair is soaked, falling in her face as she bounces

She bites her lips hard, shaking slightly on top of me and I know she's close

"Fuck", she whimpers, her fingers squeezing my skin hard, "Oh god"

"Say my name", I beg her, squeezing her hips, "Please, fuck, I love hearing you say my name"

"Mingi", she whimpers so softly as she climaxes, her pussy throbbing uncontrollably, squeezing my cock in a vice grip

She's so fucking beautiful

"Mingi", she repeats, "Mingi"

Hearing my name is just what I need, throwing me over the edge

"Fuck Joanne", I cry, holding her on my cock as I cum deep inside her, complete ecstacy taking over

Holy shit it feels so fucking good

Coming hasn't felt this good before

"Fuck Mingi, yes", she moans, her pussy milking my cock for everything I have

"Yes aegi. Fuck, Good girl. Taking my cum so well just like you take my cock", I praise her, "Good girl"

Moving my hands from her waist, I wrap them around her, pulling down against me

She comes willingly, her head on my chest, breathing hard

My god, she fits so perfectly in my arms too, like she was meant to be there

She cuddles into me, her hand resting on my chest right where my heart is and I just smile, then kiss her forehead

I like this, just laying with her in comfortable silence

I don't do things like this

Not when the girl is not my girlfriend

After sex, I just get up and either leave or the girl leaves

But I'm finding that I really don't want that right now

I want her to stay right here with me

So I just hold her and enjoy the feel of her in my arms

--------------------------------

One week later

Mingi POV

I fidget in my seat as the car drives us to the photo shoot set

I haven't seen or spoken to Joanne in a week

She ended up sleeping over that night

She fell asleep in my arms and I didn't want her to leave

The next morning it was awkward

I didn't know what to say and she didn't either

We both got dressed and she said she'd see me for the next shoot

I said ok, we said bye and she left

Then I found out that the next photo shoot was a week away

We had practice all week and didn't need any stylists

I was too chicken shit to text her and she didn't text me either

As the week went on, I found myself thinking about her all the time

Wanting to see her

And not for sex which completely threw me off guard

I just wanted to spend time with her

Hold her again

And kiss her

Fuck do I want to kiss her

Feel her soft lips against mine, her tongue playing with mine, her arms around my neck, her fingers in my hair

Yeah I realized I got it bad for her

Feelings that I either didn't know were there or developed really quickly

Doesn't really matter which because all I know is they're there and I want her

I'm just worried I'm going to fuck it up because I'm a complete doof when it comes to talking to girls about feelings and asking them out

I enlisted the help of Wooyoung, who surprisingly gave me good advice

Be calm, be direct, be clear

Tell her how I feel and what I want

Don't be afraid

The worst she can do is say no

Which is terrible but he's right

The car pulls up to the building and I breathe out, trying to calm myself

We get out and as we walk towards the dressing rooms Wooyoung says, "You got this"

I nod

Stepping into the dressing room, I scan the room for her

She's at the far right of the room, by the makeup tables

Here goes

As I walk over to her, she looks up at me nervously

God, she's so fucking beautiful

"Oh uh Mingi, hi. I uh... I didn't get a chance to tell-"

Right, she's talking about the rumor that I don't give a fuck about anymore or proving anything to anyone

I just want her

I reach her, cupping her face in my hands and brushing my lips against hers

The same spark hits me hard, my head dizzy and in the clouds

I wasn't imagining it

This confirms that what I felt was real

She kisses me back, her hands holding onto my wrists as I deepen the kiss, my tongue against hers

"Ho-ly shit", someone says

"Is Mingi kissing a makeup artist?"

"Is that.....Joanne? And Mingi?"

Gently pulling away after the kiss ends, I look into her beautiful brown eyes, "Forget the rumor. Don't tell anyone anything"

Confusion fills her eyes, "Why?"

"Because I don't care what anyone thinks", I answer softly, "I just care about what you think. It's just between us"

A small smile forms on her lips, "Just between us?"

I nod, "Between me and my aegi"

Her smile widens, "Who would that be?"

"You", I tell her, "If you want. If you want to be with me. More than friends"

She nods, "I do but...is that what you want?"

"Yes", I answer, "I didn't know I wanted that with you until that night. Until I realized I have feelings for you and you're all I want"

She nods, "You're all I want Mingi. I...I always had feelings for you"

"You hid them so well baby", I tell her, smiling softly

I had no idea she felt that way but I'm so fucking glad she does

"I had to Mingi. You're an idol. I'm a staff member", she reasons, "And you just wanted a one night thing. I...I figured if there was one chance to be with you this was it. I'd take it and then we'd go back to normal. We'd still be friends"

"I don't want to be your friend, baby. I want more. I want you"

"I want you too baby", she whispers, my heart soaring at hearing her call me baby

"I'm all yours", I assure her

"I'm all yours too", she tells me

I smile like I just won the lottery

Because I did

Pulling her right to me, I kiss her, not giving a fuck who sees

Her arms move around my neck as mine move around her waist, both of us holding each other tightly

"What the fuck is going on?"

I know that voice

Slowly, begrudgingly, I pull away from her sweet lips and turn my head to look at Bong-Cha

"What the fuck are you two doing?", she shrieks

"I'm kissing my girlfriend", I tell her, "Not that it's any of your business"

"You're girlfriend?", she asks shocked, "You just slept with me a month ago, how are you with her already?"

How the fuck is she questioning me?

She's acting like we're together and she just caught me cheating on her

She needs to back off

"That's none of your business. All you need to know is we're together. That's it"

She needs to stay out of my business

She scoffs, glaring at Joanne, "Well sucks for you. He has a small dick"

The whispers of the staff start up again, giggles coming from some of the women

But I couldn't care less

My baby knows the truth, that's all that matters

Her eyes narrow at Bong-Cha and I can tell she's pissed

"Actually I'm gonna clear one thing up without too many details", she snaps, "You're a fucking liar"

It's so quiet in the room, a dropped pin could be heard

"You lied because Mingi never called you back after your one night stand", she growls, "Instead of being a mature adult and going to speak to him to clear things up, you spread a false rumor to make your pathetic self feel better. And the rest of you idiots spread the rumor like you're in fucking high school"

I just stand back and watch my baby go

Like I said, brutally honest

"I'm gonna say this once so you better listen or there will be problems", she says to Bong-Cha, "Keep my boyfriend's name out of your fucking mouth"

"Your girlfriend is so cool", Wooyoung whispers gleefully

"I know", I smile

Bong-Cha wordlessly nods her head, the turns and scurries away

The rest of the staff just stand there in shock

"Well", she snaps, "Fuck off"

"Definitely cool", Wooyoung compliments

"I'm sorry baby", she says, turning back to me

"Don't be aegi", I say, "You were amazing, baby. You said all you needed to without giving away anything. Thanks for defending me aegi"

"Always baby", she smiles, moving her arms back around my neck

I smile widely so happy that everything turned out well and I now have an amazing girlfriend

"Kiss me Mingi", she says softly

"Always aegi", I answer, leaning down and capturing her lips in a mind blowing kiss

[chaifootsteps]

College anon dropping in to say that the dubs aren't very good. Some, like the french one, sound like the text went through google translate (and the dubbing in general is terrible despite France having a good rep in the industry). The Italian version of Poison is low-key good tho

As for my reaction to Poison, imagine that gif of the happy yellow emoji looking traumatized/dead inside. I stared at the screen wondering what led me to watching this and how ANYONE would think this was a good scene. Vivziepop claiming that the leaks don't represent the full scene was right for once... It was so much worse. I could think of a more tasteful way to picture it in 5 seconds, it isn't that hard. She could have even kept most of the scene, just remove the graphic stuff to keep the suggestive dancing (a smart idea that should have remained subtle) and maybe keep the Val part à la Addict to show that, yeah, on top of "working" all night (because the graphic scenes made it obvious he stopped "enjoying" work early during the night), Val SA'd him and that shows the entirety of the hell he's going through. It explains why he breaks down and lashes out. Viv didn't need to keep most of the SA, the entire thing was implied.

Also episode 4 comes out of left field. Yes, it was foreshadowed since the beginning but why is Angel suddenly returning his calls? We SAW him ignore Val. He clearly HATES him. Since when is Husk calling him out and badgering him about being "fake"?? They've known each other for a WEEK. It's way too early for that. It's like we're missing 3-4 episodes of development in-between. Angel reconnecting with Val and showing hints that this is indeed a facade, Husk knowing a lot about everyone and giving a damn... This should be a mid-end of season arc for Angel. I'd personally make it end of season 1 so that he can show change during season 2, beginning as someone new, someone who slowly tries to show he cares and let down his bravado in small amounts, with clear hints of being a little scared of the reactions, until it naturally becomes his full-time persona. Maybe have Charlie notice at some point and subtly encourage him, DELIGHTED (in caps because that girl is extra) that Angel is getting better but having to keep her excitement in in fear of scaring him off (because Charlie should have SOME sort of emotional intelligence ffs).

Loser, Baby feels out of place. This is NOT the appropriate reaction to Angel's words. Did they rewrite the dialogue but not the song?? Here's how it sounds:

Angel: I feel like I've gotta be Val's perfect whore all the time so I'm trying to break myself enough he will be alone—

Husk: Well, it's okay to be a loser, baby! Look at me, I'm a failure too. You ain't special and it's okay!

....So Angel is a loser/failure/broken but Val is still into him??? Did they realize that this should send him the wrong message?! That Val will "love" him no matter what and that Angel cannot be free, that he's been making himself miserable for NOTHING?? First of all, Husk's greediness and addictions are NOTHING like Angel's situation. He signed with his real name. That alone implies that Val snatched him early on as he arrived. On top of that, he's being abused every way possible on the regular, for no fault of his own, and is self-destructing. He cannot kill himself and Val won't let him be killed. This is NOTHING like Husk losing a game for more power and being forced to be a bartender.

Here's how it should have gone for the song to work:

Angel: So?! The real me is a good for nothing loser who died in a ditch from some shitty coke! THIS is the famous, hotter than Hell pornstar that everyone wanna fuck! And I've— I've gotta be the part. 'Cause if I'm not... If I ain't then who am I?

Angel's fear should have been about being seen as who he was, as some loser that nobody loved. Let him feel like he beat his father, that now he's someone so suck it dad! You were wrong! Let Angel behave as if his life was a porn movie because that's all he knows now and what he thinks he should be like. Instead of trying to ruin himself so that Val discards him, have him try to be perfect... Because that'll stop the abuse, right? Val is happy when he acts like that. The perverts worship him. No one cares about Anthony.

That would make Loser, Baby work. It would achieve its goal of saying "it's okay to suck, we all do! Look at me, I'm a loser but my life isn't over!" and get Angel to accept that he's enough as he is. If you add in a few episodes beforehand to set it up, it could have worked better instead of being insensitive.

Personally I would have entirely changed the Angel/Val dynamic. Val can still be a whiny bitch but not in a drama queen way as is implied. He gets like that whenever he loses control of his favorite. Have one of the Vees groan and say something about Angel having done something as if it happened often. Make them used to Val throwing a fit because he didn't get what he wanted out of Angel or because he's having a jealousy fit. It already makes Val more controlling. It'll make the messages scene hit harder as, yeah, we can see why Angel left, the dude is unstable and obsessed. I'd be a little more fucked-up and have Angel kinda love him. Ofc in the Stockholm Syndrome way, he's been abused so much he's too attached to leave. That shift in dynamic would explain why he eventually goes back despite everything. Like in the show, he feels ignored in favor of the new resident and the way he's dismissed and talked about makes him feel like shit. He checks his phone again and ends up listening to Val's new voice messages... And this time, they're sickeningly sweet in a row. He's sorry, he's begging for him to come back. He loves him. And that's enough for Angel to go out or answer him. Put a few episodes in-between where Angel seems... Off? How weird, he's jumpy, more on his phone. He's out for parts of the episodes or clearly focused on something else. Then we get episode 4, where everyone culminates to show how bad the situation is for him. I'd personally not have Val hit him. He's smart enough to not leave bruises on his top whore. However, he's manipulative and threatening. There's no doubt that he COULD hit Angel whenever, especially with the way he cowers. Angel tries to diffuse the situation, so well that it's heartbreaking, and he gets bold. That line when he doesn't reply "Yes Val" is meant with silence as we wait for Val's reaction, waiting for him to blow up. A beat. He doesn't. He's not calm but he's not as angry. He's not going to hit him. He thanks Angel, touching him while the other flinches, a hint that he handles Angel roughly in this kind of situation, and just as Angel looks relieved, he announces that he'll have to work all night, distressing Angel again.

Ofc that would require extensive research and talk to specialists to do it well. Viv's audience can be stupid so it's more of a struggle to make it clear that none of this is Angel's fault and to not romantize this shit but it's more interesting than Val being so obviously abusive. IMHO he almost transformed into someone else in that episode and it could work but we didn't see enough of him to go "oh that's the old abuser trick! he's not as nice as he is with others when he's with his victim!". Idk how to put it sensibly but the impression he gave me was "whiny manchild who sadly was given enough power by Daddy Vox to abuse someone" instead of the intended "terrifying Overlord who is unstable and abusing his power to abuse whichever worker he fancies at the moment". I dunno Chai I just think it would work better if he were more manipulative and welding his power in other ways than by force. Like Angel isn't scared by his strength but by his influence. Also I would low-key find a way to make it so that Angel, mistakenly, thinks he can get away with some things to explain how he'd leave for the Hotel. Like having him not be a perfect victim. While he tries to cater to Val and keep him happy out of fear (and/or care because abuse fucks you up), he sometimes provokes him or tries to do his own thing. It'd show he's his own person and stuff. Sadly that would be lost on Viv's stans and it would absolutely spark some victim-shaming stuff or worse. But I think if she's gonna try to portray something like this, she could do with some nuance and not so... Cliché? Of course, it happens like this to too many people but it feels like she's applying a trope with no thought into it. The most cookie-cutter depiction she could do for quick satisfaction or to tick that case. A bit like how Stolitz is a mix of multiple tropes and is a terribly done version of that trope where a noble falls in love with someone whose class is lower with a sprinkle of badly done transactional relationship that sparks feelings. Thinking of HB, HH has better representation of abuse but not by much. I feel like if Stella was a man, she'd have written it this way? It felt like fetish fuel hiding underneath the surface whereas Stella was lazy writing.

I dunno man, I wanted to rant about Charlie and her design but episode 4 hit me like a wall of bricks

Thank you for all of this, College Anon. This was a great read, and you're right, the Italian version of Poison goes so much harder than the English.

Also Italian Val's voice is...yeah, 10/10 stars on that one. Mama mia.

[amethystfairy1]

What’s your writing process? Like do you do outlines or just jump right into plot etc… I’m a young writer (14) and really admire your work and want to get better myself. Ty!

✨WRITING PROCESS✨

...

this.

this is my writing process.

OK TO BE REAL THO

Firstly, I don't do outlines.

I KNOW THAT'S BAD BUT I JUST DON'T

What I usually do is word vomit whatever idea I have for a fic into a notes file.

For example! Here's a little random nonsense I just copied verbatim from my notes file that might look familiar!

Tango and Z in sky, blue cracks, Z decides to drop a container with info and his phone number into the rift. He wants to talk to the hybrids, maybe he’s some sort of researcher, he went AWOL from the biotech Institute, something like that. But he is human. Then, tango finds it, or it is brought to him, because he is a direct aid to doc in the labs. Tango ends up deciding to call Z, and they end up becoming really good friends, but only over the phone. Have some fun stuff, where both Z and tango are getting a crush, but how can you crush on someone you’ve never even seen? Tango is freaking out, because he’s not the type of hybrid that can pass as human. he knows he’ll never be able to meet Z face to face. But Z is a little more determined that he gives him credit for. Also have X be a side character in the labs, voidwalker, something like that! Maybe Z is an AWOL scientist, and scar, picked him up to work in his hot guy lab, with cub.

This is the blurb that spawned the Zedango arc in TTSBC.

In case you can't tell I use the dictation function in notes because like 90% of the time I have ideas while I'm driving so I'll just tell my phone to write down whatever I'm thinking and then talk it out

So yeah! I do this, which I dunno is kinda like an outline? I do it for more or less all of my fics.

As far as other stuff, I think the best advice I can give about being a "better writer", which has to do with your question about 'jumping into plot' is to know about your characters and your world , even if you don't plan to share that information in the piece you are writing, or even like, ever.

It's the way you make your characters feel like people. I was actually talking about this with @honeylashofficial not to long ago! You should know why your characters make the choices they do, even if that information never comes up. You should know what they like and dislike and why, if they have traumas then how would those traumas affects them in small daily ways?

Jimmy in TTSBC grew used to being threatened for his wings, so now he has a love-hate relationship with them.

Tango spent a long time without a truly safe place to sleep as a child, so now he has insomnia because he has an internalized fear of falling asleep/being vulnerable.

Zed was treated very poorly at his previous workplace, and he had a terrible experience where his professional lifes work was torn to shreds in front of him, so his self-esteem is very low, and he tends to be very self-deprecating even in a joking fashion.

Cub has sensory issues that severely impact his mood because of his warden hybrid traits, so he typically keeps himself very low energy as a baseline to avoid seeming like he has mood swings.

Even little stuff like what characters notice about their surroundings! Again in TTSBC, Jimmy pays close attention to the weather and the sky, Scott notices people features and expressions, Cub has more detailed thoughts about sounds than he does about sights, stuff like that!

Also I'm gonna give ya the piece of advice no one wants to hear when they're just starting. Just write. Write a TON.

Write even if you only have half an idea. Write even if you think it's gonna be bad. Write if you have even the slightest smallest bit of a motivation to do so, just WRITE WRITE WRITE.

And I will say while I could just be one of the lucky ones, I have been posting on various fanfic websites since I was 13. And in all that time I can count on one hand the amount of hate/negative comments I have received. Over a DECADE of writing and posting and I’ve written and posted A LOT and I have only ever been met with kindness, excitement, and encouragement.

Also, the delete button exists for a reason. You curate your experience on these websites. Especially on A03, with the ability to reply to comments, you can make very clear very quickly what sort of comments you want, which ones you don't, and the vast vast vast majority will be people who are excited about your work and want to encourage you!

If you need a mood booster or some encouragement, you can find my old old stuff on FF.net under the same penname, Amethystfairy1. Just promise you won't come back over here and send asks laughing at me for how bad those stories are, ok? 😆

My point is, you learn best by doing. As you write you will get a feel for your characters, for how they interact and react, for what your specific writing style is going to be and what you enjoy writing the most. And write what you enjoy! Of course you should stretch your writing style, but also make sure you never feel like you're slogging through your writing, especially if it's for fun or creative!

OH ONE MORE THING! 👏

I HIGHLY RECCOMEND DOING A WRITING CHALLENGE!

Stuff like Whumptober, Febuwhump, Novemcomfort, AU-gust, or different fandom weeks that come up, you can find them all over tumblr! Try to participate in one of those and get in as many days as you can! It'll make you write a lot in a short period of time, and you won't have time to overthink it, which I believe is really helpful for finding your writing style and getting comfortable with writing and posting content! It'll also give you a connection to a community of other writers who are participating, especially if you plan to post your updates to tumblr like I do!

Whatever you do on your writing journey, I hope it brings you much joy, fun, and creativity! You'll create something beautiful, I just know it! 💖

[phantomrose96]

Okay since I'm waiting for laundry, I'm gonna write up some fuller thoughts on the new Spider-verse. Spoilers abound beneath the readmore!

So I'm gonna start with the good, because it really WAS a good movie. The main thing working against it is that it's the successor to the original Spider-verse, which was such a master-class in style and storytelling.

Things I loved:

I'll shout out the animation to start, because how can you not. Absolutely lives up to the original Spider-verse and more with "oh this is giving me chills" style and animation. The whole sequence of Gwen saving people at the Gugenheim absolutely awed me.

Speaking of Gwen, Gwen. That whole first half-hour-ish of Gwen-focused screentime was so, so good... Loved her character-development. Loved her banter. Loved all the jokes and goofs and punch-out back and forth during the Gugenheim fight against... villain whose name I'm forgetting. Miguel showing up was great. Jess showing up was even better.

Gwen unmasking herself to her father was so so good... That was the precise moment I went "oh, yeah, I want to come see this again." This then rolled into Miles's part of the story, and his whole sequence with fighting Spot while trying to get to the parent-teacher conference *chef's kiss*. Amazing animation. Amazing goofs. Amazing humor.

Then... hmm, I have some critiques about much of the middle of the movie... I'll get back to that in the next section. But it still had its highlights: Spider-punk and Pavitr were fantastic, and I feel they were used just the right amount. The gags at Spider H.Q. were excellent. Spiderman-pointing-meme my beloved.

Then when the twist hit... my jaw was on the floor. I'd noticed Rio's eyes were green instead of brown, and just chalked it up to maybe a small production error or an effect of the lighting. Even the "Who's Spiderman?" I was willing to count as just the most hilarious possible identity reveal, to a mom who's just not really paying attention to the street vigilante scene. Then it hit... and the fact that Gwen and Miles were not experiencing the same reality just ah... AH!!!

Things I felt kinda so-so about:

The middle part of the movie felt a bit... lacking in tightness? The tension with his parents felt a bit meandering, seeming to wrap up and then come back, and I feel Rio's attitude toward Miles changed without much reason to have caused it to change.

There was a discomfort to the scene with Miles and Gwen spidering around the city... which I know was largely intentional due to the romantic tension and the "Gwen lying to Miles", but I just Do Not Like romantic tension between characters that did so well as friends. I really didn't care for Miles's jealousy over Hobie.

The Spider H.Q. stuff... I really WANTED to like... but I always feel a sort of perhaps second-hand embarrassment for the kind of stories that are like "yeah there's literally thousands of us in on this, but we didn't invite you because ummmmm 😬".

In addition to that, I also have a distaste for the trope that's like "Every single rational and highly-qualified individual knows that 'X' is a terrible and destructive idea that can get people killed. However our naive and head-strong main character thinks we should do 'X'! So he fights off literally everyone else (and wins, for no reason, considering any one of the highly qualified individuals should out-class him) because he's the main character, and it'll work out okay just because." Like.. personally I had a very hard time rooting for Miles in all that.

Additionally... why did Miguel even tell him that they were all just gonna sit back and let Miles's dad die? Like I get it was necessary for the plot, but it was done with this expectation that Miles would just be like "oh okay I guess :(".

What I would have liked way more would be this: After Miles saves the (should have died) Police Chief from Pavitr's world, Miguel says Miles has "proven himself" and can come to Spider H.Q. to come be trained. (Really, Miguel has recognized Miles is an active threat as a canon-breaker, and he needs to keep Miles distracted for a few days while the canon event of Miles's dad dying takes place in his own dimension.) Gwen and Peter B. understand what's happening, but are forced to go along with it, behaving strangely the whole time. Then when Miles catches them in a lie and the truth comes out, THAT'S when Miles rebels and tries to fight against everyone to get home...

I also would have liked it if maybe there was like... more of a hint of hope for canon-broken universes to be saved. Like if Miguel's policy was "a universe can be saved after canon-breaking, however it's too risky for all the people in that universe to it's Spider Law that we must let our canon events occur. We all make this sacrifice for everyone's mutual protection." then I'd see Miles's defiance as more of a "well I'm breaking from you and will succeed at the risky thing of saving my universe and my dad". They did a little bit hint at this possibility with the fact that Pavitr's dimension is not necessarily doomed, but like if they made this clearer I'd feel better about Miles's defiance being not doomed to kill his entire dimension.

Hmm, I also wanted more out of Peter B. I know this wasn't his movie, but I didn't totally love that so much of his role in this movie was being against Miles. (Next movie, I guess).

And all of this felt just, way less tight than the OG Spider-verse. The OG hit all its marks like a perfect run of Guitar Hero and exploded into an amazing finale. This one... just meandered a bit. In the OG, Miles's leap of faith hit so perfectly. That was THE moment he could make that leap. Vs in this one when he tells his mom ("mom", lol) that he finally faced everyone and won and whatever... it just didn't really hit right.

BUT, I don't wanna end this on a negative note, so actually I wanna talk about the twist again.

Actually before I talk about the twist again, I wanna talk about the scene with Gwen and her dad. The "I quit being a cop halfway through your speech" (and the fact that this may present the loophole that saves her father now). The unspoken fact that Gwen was maybe avoiding coming back because she knew her dad was doomed and didn't want to deal with it. Her dad choosing her over everything. It just. It's good...

BACK to the twist. I am NOT a "talks in the movie theater" person but I couldn't help going "OH his dad is dead in THIS universe :000000" once the reveal hit. And that reveal was like 10 reveals all at once that had me just :0000000

Aaron walking in. The reveal that the whole city is aflame because, as Miguel had called out earlier, this universe doesn't have its Spiderman. The "what did you do to your hair". The mural for Jeff instead. The reveal that Gwen and Miles are nowhere near each other. The overlap of Jeff returning him in the universe Gwen is in with Aaron returning him in the universe Miles is in. Miles getting knocked out and I instantly knew it was Dimension42!Miles that did it to him. The Prowler is thriving and it's Miles this time.

[goldiipond]

ray tpn is autistic and i'm gonna tell you why now

ray is one of the most heavily autistic-coded characters i can think of, and i've been wanting to write up a post going over as many of his autistic mannerisms as i can because there is a lot. this will probably be long because i am also autistic and i am especially autistic about ray, so please enjoy while i psychoanalyze this anime boy with way more scrutiny than anyone would consider healthy <3

body language

perhaps one of the strongest arguments for ray's autism can be made by looking at his body language. ray tries to keep a stoic, neutral expression and voice the majority of the time (though he's often quite. bad at that too) but he is always extremely expressive through his movements and gestures, the most noticeable of which being the use of his hands. pretty much every character uses hand gestures, but ray is ridiculously excessive. it'd take frankly way too long to compile every instance of this (or even half) throughout the manga, so here's a small collection of gestures from s1 of the anime to give an idea:

note that this is not even close to all of them and that he's exactly like this in the manga as well, though the animation and its use of snappy, exaggerated movements does help to make these much more noticeable.

moving away from his hands there's also just a lot of really expressive full-body language as well, such as this friendly chokehold:

this dramatic shrug:

and this even more dramatic flop:

just to name a few. basically, ray has a thing for grand unnecessary movements and no one is surprised.

poor emotional regulation and masking

as i mentioned before, ray tries really really hard to bottle up his emotions and keep a sort of stoic persona during his time at gracefield. he's also really really bad at doing this. not terrible, as he was able to keep up a believable enough front that none of the other kids saw anything odd about his behavior for 6 years, but that's also because he deals with so much more stress once the events of the escape arc actually get going. there is a stark difference between his quiet and detached demeanor while emma and norman are still in the dark about the house, and him nearly having a meltdown every time something strays from his meticulously crafted plans while they actually begin making their preparations to escape over the course of the arc.

just a few examples of this include him nearly having a breakdown when emma insists on taking everyone:

or one of my favorite anime exclusive moments where he strains his voice while yelling at isabella to the point he breaks into a coughing fit:

and it's not just big flashy meltdowns, but little bursts of anger as well. shoutout to this moment in particular where he launches this bucket with enough force to tear up a bit of the damn ground:

this emotional instability can be seen after the escape as well, the most glaring example being how he interacts with yuugo:

their dynamic in general really does a good job of showing ray’s mental state after the escape, because pre-goldy pond yuugo is An Asshole. and ray is so, so easy to piss off and quite frankly tired from bottling up his emotions for so long that every interaction with said asshole is a massive struggle to keep himself from physically attacking him.

as for the topic of masking, that’s what ray’s attempts to hide his emotions feel like to me. ray is constantly in danger of losing isabella’s trust, whether that be by revealing he may be a little more attached to the other kids than he lets on or by showing too much emotion that the other kids start to wonder what the hell’s going on. ray has to constantly hide and cover up his emotions with more palatable ones for others out of fear of looking out of place or being seriously hurt, and well if that doesn’t just describe autistic masking to a tee i don’t know what does.

maybe one of the things that gets me the most about that is that he's essentially been masking for about half of his life, and doing that for any extended period of time is extremely draining. ray has been drained to the point that he will have full meltdowns when put under any sort of stress and when you take into account the fact that he already has pretty severe anger issues as a result of his trauma, it's really no wonder he has such a short fuse.

lack of a filter when speaking

ray is a very blunt person. he speaks matter-of-factly and he wastes no time in getting straight to his point, sometimes with only a single sentence:

the way he talks is also pretty significant, as he generally has a more monotone way of speaking. he really only yells when he gets really worked up which like i said, happens a lot, but there’s almost no inbetween for him. pre-escape, he tries to show as little emotion in his voice as possible outside of his outbursts.

as for post-escape ray, he does seem to show much more emotion in the way he speaks. its a bit harder to judge, as nothing past the escape arc was ever adapted into the anime (s2 isnt real it cant hurt you) but his facial expressions become much more varied and it’s easy to say his vocal inflections likely do as well. however, what we can say for sure is that he remains just as blunt as ever:

no matter how comfortable he becomes with expressing himself, this aspect of his speech never seems to change.

while we’re on the topic of his speaking mannerisms please also direct your attention to these panels:

these need no explanation.

sensory issues. so many sensory issues

briefly moving back to the subject of ray’s hands, i couldn’t help but notice during my countless s1 rewatches that they are almost never just resting at his sides. if he's not using his hands for unnecessary gestures they are either shoved into his pockets, or he's crossing his arms. it's very likely his arms default to these positions because they offer a sort of sense of security, the former keeping his hands covered and the latter keeping him more closed off, almost like he's constantly hugging himself. basically, ray is a 'likes to feel covered and secure' autistic and if he was buried in weighted blankets he'd probably love it.

also tying into the ‘likes to feel covered’ aspect of ray’s autism is this scarf he acquires sometime during the volume 12 timeskip:

it’s a well known autistic thing to get attached to articles of clothing and wear them as much as possible, and boy does ray get attached to this scarf. i can count 2 post-timeskip scenes off the top of my head that have him not wearing this scarf, and the image on the right takes place a full 2 years after the left one in canon. he has no explicitly stated emotional attachment to this scarf and we don’t even know how he got it, just that he almost never takes it off. it could easily be seen as a comfort item, maybe he just likes the way the fabric feels or the extra coverage it offers him. there is post-canon content that depicts him without it, but the fact that he wore it almost nonstop for at least 2 years straight is still pretty significant.

another sensory thing i feel is worth mentioning is that ray seems to have a very specific tolerance threshold for physical contact. he seems fine initiating touch himself, and touches from emma and norman are generally alright, likely because they are the only people he has openly allowed himself to be close with his entire life. sudden touches from others however, are a different story. the one that immediately comes to mind is this interaction with don:

don in particular is someone ray becomes pretty close to, and i would say that besides the obvious growth with emma and norman, don is likely the person we see the most development with with in terms of their relationship. him having this reaction to a hug from someone he’s so close to seems indicative of some issues with unexpected contact.

and finally one of my absolute favorite things the anime added, which is ray experiencing what looks a lot like sensory overload:

this takes place right after the argument with isabella, which ended with him being knocked to the floor and locked up in a room by himself, so its needless to say that he’s pretty shaken up. he gets so overwhelmed that all he can do is yell and desperately reach for any sort of stimulation to keep him grounded, curling in on himself and aggressively ruffling up his hair. i genuinely cannot think of an allistic explanation for this scene.

and basically, he is just so autistic

all in all, theres some pretty damn solid evidence for ray being autistic and whether it was intentional or not, the sheer amount of autism-coding present in ray’s writing is almost impossible to ignore. i love some good projection but i don’t even need to do that much, hes just doing this all on his own. in conclusion:

[belit0]

I LOVE YOUR BLOG💛✨💛✨ 💛✨ Madara drank too much at Hashirama's insistence, got lost on the way home and ended up in Y/N's bed 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 Could you write something like that if you still accept requests 🥺🥺🥺

Of course!! I'm always accepting requests!! Feel free to send as many as you want!

Actually, this was so cute to write, and if you wonder what song Madara is constantly trying to sing:

is this one.

The first mistake of the night, as Madara identifies in his little state of consciousness, is to try to follow Hashirama with his alcohol intake. Peace is beautiful, the village was built smoothly, and he thought it a good idea to feast with his soul friend over some good Sake. With Izuna and Tobirama's quarrels out of the room for the lack of their presence, chatting was pleasant and prolonged, ending at about five o'clock in the morning.

When the Uchiha wanted to stand up and leave the Hokage's office to head home, he found he couldn't walk. Nor think, for that matter, but he managed not to lose his pride and leave the building with his head held high. It's not like the Senju was going to notice, passed out on his office couch, but he needed to keep up appearances for his own good.

Wandering the desolate new streets of Konoha, Madara tries to follow a straight-line leading home, humming a song Izuna usually sings while polishing his weapons. He doesn't know where his brother got it from, or why, but he usually sings it every day, and he ended up inadvertently learning it.

"Cry baby cry cry... you've seen how things are…!" The Uchiha whispers in an attempt to sing while his legs reverse direction and his feet don't want to respond. He falls to the ground about three times before he finds some sort of balance, and is thankful there are no people on the street to see his show.

"Cry baby cry cry...tell me who's laughing now...!" There is so much hair over his face it doesn't help in his mission to move forward, yet suddenly, he feels something strange under his foot. The path has disappeared from under his body, and now he is walking on... earth. Garden soil, to be more precise, meaning he inadvertently wandered into the perimeter of someone else's house.

Under his sandal, he sees a beautiful, wonderful, newly landscaped garden, which in his blurred vision he identifies as familiar. His attempt to get home took him on a completely different route, and Madara can tell only by the flowers he is stepping on.

Somehow, life, drunkenness, alcohol, brought him to (Y/N)'s house, and he finds himself stepping on the roses she spent all yesterday afternoon installing.

All afternoon. Working on this garden all, fucking, afternoon.

Beautiful red roses, as deep as the color of his eyes, now ruined under his shoes. Madara, in his absent-mindedness, looks down and notices the beautiful planter ruined by his feet. In a fit of desperation, he kneels on the ground trying to put it back together again, struggling to correct the twisted stems and stick the fallen petals back together, without any success.

The sudden movement and the speed with which he threw himself to the ground brought an unexpected dizziness, and the Uchiha empties his stomach on the only roses he did not dare to step on. If there were any flowers left safe from his clumsiness, they had just been ruined.

After catching his breath and ceasing to dump all the alcohol back onto (Y/N)'s garden, Madara realizes the atrocity he just committed and has no choice but to cry over his mistake. "I killed them... I killed them all!!!" he surrenders over the mutilated garden, and releases genuine tears of sadness over the floricide he just committed.

"The war is over, yet I ended their lives!!!! I'm a monster, a freak, a perfect monster, and-"

"Madara...?" A female voice exclaims from behind his back, (Y/N) standing in the doorway of her home and looking terribly sleepy-faced. The Uchiha's cries of pain woke her up and fearing for the sentences he was daring to yell, she believed he was in trouble. Of course, she never expected him to refer to her newly installed garden.

Can you picture the image, of a huge man with huge hair, the most powerful Uchiha in history, the leader of one of the most respected clans, lying on top of mangled flowers and next to a puddle of his own vomit.

The woman doesn't know whether to laugh or sigh in exasperation but opts for a quicker solution.

"I killed them, (Y/N), I killed them all!!! You put so much effort into it, you planted them so lovingly and I-"

"Shhh shhh, it's okay, it's okay, come here, let's get you cleaned up."

"I don't deserve it!!! I'm a war criminal, a murderer yet again, look at them!!!"

Paying attention to her poor garden under Madara's command, (Y/N) estimated the damage was unrecoverable, and she would have to plant everything anew. The soil would have to be changed, the stems would have to be gathered to grow a new flower, and the vomit would have to be cleaned up...

"You'll be able to help me with it once you recover, come on now."

Like a toddler recently scolded by his mother, the world's most mighty Uchiha awkwardly gets up from the floor, stumbling over his feet and needing help from her to steady himself on his legs. (Y/N) slings one of his arms over her shoulder, and despite Madara being a head taller than her, drags him back to her room like a wet little chicken.

The man gives up on her bed, falling backward and closing his eyes. He opens them automatically, to the phrase "I feel sick again..." and then vomits on the floor.

With the clock striking 6 am, (Y/N) reaches for a bucket of water and mops up the mess Madara just produced, while the semi-conscious Uchiha hums a stupid song, "cry baby cry cry, those who play are left alone…!" Rolling her eyes, the girl abandons all hope of going back to sleep when she realizes the sun is shining on the horizon, awakened by the unforeseen situation.

After making herself a cup of tea, she notices the man has finally fallen asleep, and with great effort, she removes his soiled robe from his body. Filled with vomit, she immediately puts it in the wash, covering him with her quilts to keep him warm.

It is truly a sight to behold, the second leader of the village passed out on her bed, on the edge of the mattress, and about to fall to the floor, partially covered by her pink sheets.

When he regains consciousness and is physically well, he will be forced to take a full day of gardening and fix all the flowers he destroyed.

[nomoreusername]

Better

⚠️ Eating Disorders ⚠️

Pairing:Minho x gender neutral reader

Summary:When Minho realizes you're struggling with an eating disorder he encourages you to get help.

Let's get one thing straight. I don't have a problem. I simply noticed that I seem to have been slower whenever I go running lately. So I decided to fix the problem by putting myself on a strict diet. Thankfully, I know people in the Glade. I switch around who I give my dinner to, and nobody ever has a second thought about it.

From there things kind of escalated. I became obsessed with seeing myself grow thinner. Each time my clothes felt baggier there was this sense of pride. It got to the point where if something did fit me I'd feel shame. Then, there became the point where the clothes not fitting wasn't good enough for me. I would look at my body and see nothing but flaws. Suddenly, I was thankful we didn't own mirrors so I couldn't see any others.

Things somehow managed to get worse. What was once a simple diet so I could run faster seemed to be slowing me down. Except, it could be something else. What if I was actually gaining weight?

That's when another idea came to mind. Every time my time slowed I would punish myself by running extra hard. When everyone was in bed I'd be running laps around the Glade. Yesterday it was so bad I made myself stay up all night sprinting, doing pushups, and basically any accessible exercise.

I really wish I would have thought of how that might slow me down in the maze itself. I knew I was doing terrible because my partner today was Minho who was doing this like it was nothing. I used to run like this before what was supposed to be a diet took over my life.

"I'm fine,"I repeated as the stitch in my side grew. I really wanted water, but I wasn't doing good enough to earn any.

"Uh, you okay?"He asked.

"Mhm,"I lied, my legs threatening to give out from under me.

"You're breathing pretty heavy. You look five seconds away from passing out."

"Okay. Hey, we should probably stop for lunch,"He suggested, looking at his watch. I felt a thousand nerves run through my body. I don't know how many times I can use the 'I forgot it' excuse.

"Sure,"I pretended to agree, sitting against the wall. Then, I faked looking in my bag before putting it up.

"I thought you'd say that,"He sighed, before reaching for something. Before I could ask what he was doing he pulled out a bag. To be more specific it was my lunch bag with my name. He shook his head as he tossed the empty bag at me.

"Are you not going to eat?"He asked skeptically.

"I forget it,"I shrugged, being way too used to lying for my comfort. I had to though. They wouldn't understand and would just blow it out of proportion.

"You haven't asked for a lunch,"He accused. It was true, but I still shook my head no. "You give away your dinner,"He kept going. I stared at the ground wondering how to get out of this. "You didn't eat anything for breakfast,"He listed. "You've lost so much weight you have to wear a belt with every outfit,"He continued. "And you've been the one running around the Glade at night,"He finished. I couldn't make myself look at him as I kept staring at the ground. I could feel his eyes burning into my soul.

"Last ni-"

"Those are all true, aren't they?"He asked.

"It's sort of an exaggeration,"I said quietly.

"When's the last time you've eaten?"

"Nice try. Winston had an extra. Try again."

"Yesterd-"

"You left your lunch as you ran, and you left before breakfast. Try again. When's the last time you've eaten?"

"Three days ago,"I admitted loud enough for him to hear. By now I closed my eyes because even the ground seemed to be judging me.

"Three days ago,"I muttered, my voice almost a whisper.

"When?"He asked again, not having heard me the first time.

"Why?"He questioned. There were a lot of reasons, but I didn't say anything. I wasn't planning on doing so anytime soon.

"You're going to kill yourself if you keep on going. Not metaphorically. You are literally going to make yourself shut down. Even worse, you're a Runner. What happens if one day you pass out or don't make it out of these walls in time?"

"I'm a Runner, and Runners are fast. They're strong. They don't get tired. I wasn't doing that so I tried a diet,"I confessed.

"I'm a Runner,"I repeated.

"Yeah. That's what I said."

"A diet? Last time I checked a diet doesn't mean starving yourself. It's not staying up all night so you can collapse from exhaustion the next day. It's not punishing yourself because you don't think you're doing something good enough. If it was a diet you wouldn't have sat there and lied to me."

"I said I tried a diet. It got a little out of hand, and now I can't go back."

"What do you mean you can't go back?"

"I can't just go back to eating normally. I'll just be disgusted with myself. I don't want to feel gross when I look at myself."

"Y/N, you are going to die if you keep this up. Do you understand? You are killing yourself. If you pass out here someone may not be with you that day to get you out. Then, you're stuck here all night with the Greivers. The Greivers are going to kill you, and everyone's going to be asking 'Where's Y/N? Why isn't she back?' The doors are going to close, and it's over. Because if someone notices too late to run in here you are screwed. You're totally shucked. You're going to be dead or you're going to get stung, and we'll have to banish you, and I don't want to banish you. I don't want to have to push you through these doors, and I don't want to run across a pool of your blood,"He said in one breath.

I looked over and for only the second time in my life saw Minho cry. That had been when he pulled Newt out of the maze. Crying wasn't something he did, at least in front of others. Now he was sitting beside me with a tear streaked face, and I didn't know what to do.

"I don't know how to stop. I want to, but I don't know how. I've been doing this for so long that it seems impossible to go back to how I was,"I admitted, my own silent tears falling down my face. I hadn't realized I even wanted to until I said it out loud. I didn't even realize how much of a problem it was.

"I think we should head back for today. Drink up,"He directed.

"Alby's going to be pissed,"I pointed out.

"It's not safe for you to be here right now. I'm sure he'd understand."

"I don't want to tell Alby,"I mumbled.

"Then, don't, but you're not running anymore today. You need to eat and catch up on sleep."

"Even if it takes forever. Come on. Are you ready to go?"He asked, holding his hand out. I looked at him before taking it.

"This is going to be hard to do,"I uttered. "It is, but you won't be doing it alone. I'm going to be right beside you,"He promised.

"Even if it takes a while?"

"Yeah. I'm ready to get some help."

[dracowars]

please there are barely any luke skywalker/reader fics on this map, i'm glad you take requests for him !! && i'm tempted to write one myself.

jedi-knight reader being taught by luke how to pilot after having a nightmare, just like really awkward and fluffy... but with sorta angst-y?? because the both of them were taught that jedis' weren't suppose to be together, the ending is up to your creative freedom !!

if you ever take this request, thank you, i adore you && your writing style, have a nice day/night :)

late night flights and kisses | luke skywalker

pairing: luke x jedi!reader

word count: 1,7k

summary: where luke and y/n are attracted to each other but know that the jedi code doesn't allow it

a/n: i love writing for our soft boy luke 🫶🏻 and you should definitely start writing one yourself, i want to read it!! <3 i hope you enjoy what i came up with here ♡♡♡ happy star wars day and may the 4th be with you ❤️

warnings: angst, mentions of blood

universe: star wars

Abruptly waking up with sweat running down your forehead, you sit up, clutching your trembling hands to your chest, on top of your fast beating heart. Your eyes scan the room in a panic, trying to decipher where you are and, in fact, realizing that you are not in the middle of a raging battlefield with your hands covered in blood but in your chamber on the rebel base. You are in your own safe space but, right now, it feels far away from that and the glooming moon that peeks through the small window doesn't make this feeling any better. You had these terrible nightmares for a while now but lately they were getting better and better. Until now, at least.

After staring into the void for a few more minutes, calming down your rapid breathing as well as your heartbeat, you leave your warm bed and throw on a coat, put on shoes and leave your sticky, clammy room behind. You make your way through the quiet rebel base, your destination unclear. You only know that you needed to get out of there as soon as possible and a bit of fresh air sounded like a good idea. And because of that, you find yourself standing in the huge hangar, stuffed with all sorts of spaceships, darkness laying over them.

The only source of light comes from one of the moons once again, casting a streak of white light onto the ground through the heavy hangar door that is slightly open. Only when you are already on your way towards the moon and thus to outside, do you notice another light source. Hardly noticeable and very weakly, the illumination next to an X-Wing catches your attention and you stop abruptly, pausing. You don't move a single muscle, waiting for something to happen, for any logical explanation as to why there is light on in the hangar in the deepest of night.

"Hello? Is someone there?", you ask, carefully taking a few steps in the direction of the light, your coat wrapped tightly around you, guarding you like a shield from whatever you will have to face. Your question is answered with a slight hiss, followed by the muttering of a few curses and a quiet rustle.

You take a closer look, relieved now that it appears to be just another pilot tinkering away on his ship in the middle of the night. But just as you are about to turn around, wanting to persuade your original goal, you notice which X-Wing it is, namely Red Five, and you can't help but shake your head in disbelief before walking towards it.

And just like you expected, you find none other than Luke, lying on a rollable surface under his X-Wing, working on it. He doesn't seem to have noticed you yet, didn't even hear your question earlier since he is completely focused and concentrating only on whatever he is doing with his beloved ship in this moment.

In order to not scare him to death, you quietly clear your throat and yet, his body flinches before he rolls out from underneath his X-Wing, looking at you with wide eyes that quickly turn from frightened to relieved upon recognizing you. He is wearing his orange pilot flight suit, the zipper not fully closed, and you are not sure if he has already put it back on or just never took it off in the first place. His hair is disheveled and there are a few beads of sweat on his forehead which tell you that he must have been here a long time already.

"What are you doing here, Y/N? You should sleep", he immediately starts reprimanding you, running his hand through his hair while placing the tool on the floor next to him.

"I could ask you the same thing", you reply swiftly, which makes Luke chuckle, lowering his head as he searchs for a suitable answer. Your eyes never leaving his stature, you sit on one of the taller boxes surrounding you, your legs dangling.

"Couldn't sleep. I guess it's the adrenaline from the mission", Luke sighs, grabbing a cloth to clean his smeared hands. "What about you?"

You knew he would ask, he always does, but it catches you off guard nevertheless. His eyes are filled with worry when you don't answer immediately, but you just don't know where to even start. That is why you choose to not start at all.

"Me too", you mumble, shrugging as he keeps looking at you. Luke frowns at your words, clearly not believing them and just when you think he is going to insist on receiving an honest answer from you, he stands up, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the cloth, tossing it away before offering you a hand.

Your gaze switches between his hand and his eyes that scream for you to take his hand, even though you have no idea what he intends on doing. However, you trust him, you always do, and he doesn't even need to say a word for you to finally grab his hand and let him pull you down.

Quickly, Luke swaps the hand he is holding you with and pulls you towards his X-Wing, right where the ladder is to climb into the cockpit. You look at him questioningly, but he just indicates for you to climb up. Shaking your head, you take a step back and remove your hand from his grab, but he is quick to catch you again.

"Luke, what are you doing?", you ask, irritated and confused.

"You always wanted to learn how to pilot, didn't you?", he smiles at you which sends warmth through your body. You didn't think he would remember such a small thing you once said when you two were on a mission. But he did. And the fact that he did makes you blush unavoidably, which is why you look away, not wanting to show him the impact that he has on you. As far as you are concerned, you are not supposed to have these kind of feelings towards him. You are both Jedi and they have always been forbidden to love.

"It's going to be fine. I'm here with you", Luke reassures you, squeezing your hand while the smile on his lips is not fading. If he notices your blushing, he doesn't show it. Instead he gently tugs at your hand again to encourage you to climb up the ladder. "Do you trust me?"

These words take you by surprise and you look at him again. You thought he already knew the answer to that question. And as you look in his eyes, you can see that he actually does know the answer and doesn't need to hear it from you, which is why you give in and let him help you into the cockpit. Sitting inside, Luke stands on the ladder next to you so he can look into the cockpit and at the numerous flashing buttons with you.

"Alright, are you comfortable?", he asks with a grin on his face and you just nod, returning his smile. "Very well. So, do you see this white button? Pushing it will activate the deflector shield. With this one you start into hyperdrive, which we don't want right now. Here you have the communication channel, if you ever want to chat with me via coms."

Luke goes on and on about explaining and showing you each and every button, even pressing some of those that can be activated without any damage considering that you are still in the hangar. Whenever he wants you to push one of them, your hands graze and both of you pull your hands away awkwardly before he clears his throat and continues to passionately ramble on.

What Luke doesn't notice, however, is that he comes closer to you each time he reaches over you. You can't keep the blush from creeping over your cheeks as his face is only inches away from yours, allowing you to see every small detail, every bump, every tiny scar on his glowing skin.

It is moments like these when you forget everything around you, especially the laws that the Jedi imposed on themselves back then. Why shouldn't you be allowed to love when the feeling inside you is so painfully strong? When it feels like it is eating you alive and you can't do anything about it?

As soon as Luke notices how close he is to you, he stops dead in his movement. His eyes lock with yours and if you wouldn't know better, you imagine his eyes looking down at your lips for a quick second. Your faces are so close to each other that you can feel each other's breaths, sense each other's emotions. Neither of you says a word, but you don't need to as you savor the moment, enjoy the proximity. Right now, it is only you and him.

Slowly, Luke leans in and you feel like your heart is going to combust. Closing your eyes, you wait for him to finally kiss you, to finally show you that these rules mean nothing to the both of you any longer. But he doesn't.

When you open your eyes again, Luke has withdrawn, looking away as his cheeks take on a bright red color.

"I-I'm sorry. We can't. I can't", he stutters out, not able to look at you. Your heart aches as he says the words you never wanted to hear, especially not after his feelings seem to mirror yours. But because you love him with all you have, you understand.

"No, it's fine. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- I think I should go now", you say, but it sounds more like a mumble, filled with sorrow, and you pull yourself up from the seat with your hands. But as soon as the words leave your mouth, Luke looks at you again and it is then that you see how all the emotions, all the possible decisions flash before his eyes. And before you know it, his hands cup your cheeks and his lips land on yours in a sweet but desperately needed kiss.

You sink back into his pilot seat, never wanting to miss the feeling of his soft lips on yours. You run your hand through his hair, enjoying every second of it. Completely out of breath, Luke lets go of you after a while, but this time, he doesn't withdraw. His forehead is against yours, his thumbs caressing your hot cheeks as you both smile at each other.

"I hated this rule anyway", Luke chuckles and you can't disagree as he connects your lips in another soft kiss.

[mod-kyoko]

Can I get a fluff prompt for Mikan and Maki (seperate) where she gets confessed to by her shy Classmate reader that she likes but was under the mistaken impression that he hated her when in reality he was absolutely smitten with her

mikan and maki getting confessed to by shy!male!reader!

info: male!reader, light mentions of bullying

type: hc format, non-despair au

a/n: love these girls so much

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mikan tsumiki

what a clusterfuck

you are both extremely shy

and you both like each other

you always hated how mikan was treated by the others, but you were never quite strong enough to defend her

she must think you're such a wimp! a terrible person! what kind of person doesn't defend a girl?

mikan, as usual, thinks you despise her which she thinks for most of her classmates

however, it hurts more because she genuinely wants to get closer to you, she's just too scared to approach you in fear that'll she will be rejected

...you felt the exact same

your other classmates are not stupid and notice the shy romantic tension between you

kazuichi actually approaches you and tells you to shoot your shot, even though you kept denying the fact you had a crush on mikan

don't worry kaz is here for you, he's such a bro

one afternoon, classes were over - you and kazuichi hung out in the school courtyard

you both see mikan tottering to the dorm buildings and kazuichi immediately (gently) shoves you towards her despite your protests

"u-uhm... can I help you, y/n..?" mikan was standing right in front of you, when you looked behind you, kazuichi was gone

fuck it

"uhm... hi, mikan... uh..." you had no idea where to even start... so you just blurted it out "I-I really like you! I... I've liked you for awhile..."

she thought you were joking, she even looked around cautiously to see if there was hiyoko or someone near by filming her

regardless she was blushing bright red

"m-me...? but I'm just a klutzy, pile of trashy waste... how c-could you like me..?"

you started to tear up from her words, how could she say that?!

"not at a-all! don't think that way, mikan... you're s-so helpful! even when p-people are mean to you... you always help them... and... you're so beautiful, I-I always feel better on the inside when you're near me... don't think y-you're trash! because you're not..."

mikan immediately starts bawling her eyes out at your kind words

she admits her own feelings for you in a very 'mikan' sort of way

tearfully, you ask her if they could go for ice cream which she agrees with a happy giggle

you two start dating not long after... your fellow classmates (except some obvious ones) think you're the cutest couple ever

maki harukawa

why did she have to fall for you... of all people, she falls for the complete opposite of what she is

you were a shy, sweet guy that wouldn't harm a fly even if he tried

and she was a cold, calculating and violent individual, not exactly a match made in heaven

you weren't an idiot like the others and you never actually did anything to bother her, although you were shy she found you easy to talk to

but that's probably because you're busy listening to her voice half the time...

however, she hasn't confessed her feelings at all because first of all, she's not really good at 'expressing' feelings...

second of all, she didn't even fathom that you liked her at all

yes you let her talk to you but she imagined that you were scared of her and just did it because you felt that you had to

a lot of the other classmates didn't like her because of how she is, why should you?

truth be told, you were absolutely in love with her

she is incredibly pretty, even when her expression is either blank or full of murderous intent

you can't help but find her coldness... attractive? there was just something about it that made you feel a funny way when she calmly insults kokichi for the 999th time or threatens to kill others that annoy her

is that a simp I hear?

you approached shuichi and kaito one day during lunch, since they were maki's closest friends, to get some advice on how to... approach the girl

of course they were both a little worried for you, shuichi especially

but kaito gave you the best advice he could, something about 'puff your chest out!' and 'be confident in the face of the bear!', not great stuff

either way you took his advice as best you can, catching maki when she was alone

"uhm... maki..?" you tapped your index fingers together

"y/n?" maki looked a little surprised that you were talking to her first "what is it?"

"ah.. uhm... I... I really like you... in a romantic sense- I understand if you... you don't like me that way too..."

maki's eyes widened, staring at you completely dumbfounded, then shaking her head

"you're stupid... you like me? do you want to die?" "why the hell do you even like me? you barely know me."

"y-yes! I know b-but.. I like that about you.. I-I like the mystery you have... and... you're really pretty.. your voice is really calming... I like listening to you..."

little makiroll began to blush, starting to fidget with her twintails. was she dreaming?

"you're just plain stupid..." she sighed, her eyes glued to the ground. "but... I like you too."

you and maki sat on the bench together for awhile, just talking casually. you even made her smile

it started slowly, but you and her got together as a couple. if you had any bullies for your shyness... they're not a problem anymore

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-Mod Kirumi

actually crying rn