#nothing to see here folks'

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Please forgive me for interrupting, but when I saw this post I about screamed it's my time because. That is one of my favorite event stories, and it's among the most uproarious things I've ever read in my life. Basically in one of the Boys Talk New Years series, Mozart, Sebas, and Comte are doing exactly what's enumerated above, and then Comte out of left field is like:

And my friends. When I tell you I screamed so loud when he said this. It's even funnier because iirc Sebastian is like "lmfao so he basically just wants a Theo-type MC" AND COMTE DOESN'T DENY IT. I need to find the whole video again but it was amazing; my life was before and after that moment. Mozart's disgust is hilarious too

A related addendum, since I never got around to posting it (spoilers for Boys Talk 2023 jpn):

There's another Boys Talk for 2023, and in this one Theo and Isaac are disheartened by a party Comte invited them to attend. Basically all the women there met them and went "lmao I want him as a pet, boyfailure" and "omg????? I want to support him and his research, I need to protect that smile" respectively, and they're both mortified at the perceived emasculation.

So they bring it up to Comte, and then insist that he teach them how to be charming/woo women properly. Two absolutely HILARIOUS things ensue from this. The first being ->

For the better part of this whole thing Comte is just so openly amused. (The sense I get from him is legit "fools that you are, everything women do is a serve." AND I SCREAM. The way he reminds me of IkeSen Shingen in these moments.) Eventually he tells them both to improve themselves and/or work on their own charms (we stan a king, that is the correct response) if they want women to take them seriously. Then Theo and Isaac start laying it on thick that he's a master class seducer:

Theo: Oh, that might be a good idea. But then of course, it’s your specialty. You’ve seduced hundreds of women in high society, haven’t you? Isaac: Then now is the time to make the most of a vampire's years/achievements. Tell us of the skills you've cultivated over hundreds of years of seduction. Comte: Would you mind not telling me that I spent my long life idle and dumb…? (Vernacular translation: Would you stop making it sound like all I’ve done is chase skirts all these years…?)

And I just. The way he's so "aight listen you little shits, I May Be S t u p i d" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love that he has zero defense but he's still lowkey peeved to be exposed

2. The second funny part, and the one more pertinent to this reply, is that Comte does something unhinged and supremely goofy. He agrees to do a lesson to help them learn to escort MC/women properly, but the absolute madlad has them practice. ON EACH OTHER.

Comte: Let’s give it a try so that you both have a better sense of what it looks like in real time… Comte: Isaac will try to woo Theo, Theo will try to woo me, and I will try to woo Isaac. Theo: What Isaac: What Comte: Let’s begin, 3,2,1--

I love the fact that Theo and Isaac get so carried away they just go along with it. But notice that Comte chooses Theo to seduce him 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'm going to add the ensuing madness that results mostly because it makes me lose my shit laughing literally every single time:

Isaac: Oh…your sea-colored eyes are so beautiful. I always want them to reflect only me. Theo (O_O): Isaac… --- Theo: You belong to me, Comte. For every bit as long as a pureblood’s forever… Comte: Theo… --- Comte: Your blush/cheeks are the same cherry-blossom as your eyes, Isaac. Did your thoughts dye you such a lovely pink? Isaac: Comte… --- [All three of them]: ……………………. Isaac: Nonononono, was it really necessary for us to practice with other men!? This is embarrassing!! Theo: I'm horrified…just horrified…it turned into an unbelievably perverted space… Comte: I thought I could curb my persuasion skills according to the situation, but I see the mental damage was too great... Theo: Guess it was on us for asking… Isaac: I just wanted to show MC my manly/sexy side…now I’m going to be traumatized… …Nights like these must be kept a complete secret from MC.

Okay - so I forgot which event it was, but I know Le Comte and Sebastian and somebody else were talking in a bath or something (I know, terrible explanation) and they start talking about S or M (shirt sizes, but Comte makes them think it’s about BDSM) and Comte literally says that he would like to see MC as an “S” and would like to “see her dressed in latex”, so all I’m saying is that it’s canon.

😂😂😂😂 Comte, LOML, I would trust him to be down with anything she wanted to do in the bedroom. He’s such a lovable deviant for that and I love and support it all the way 🤣💕

[luthqrs]

"I need to go." ⇢ "I don't need space... I need you" CARLA CONNOR and LISA SWAIN in CORONATION STREET ↝ 07.10.2024 / 28.03.2025

[rocketbirdie]

YOU. You are correct about Cloud Strife. Everything you say about him is CORRECT

Hi I'm going to use your ask as an opportunity to go on an unhinged tangent about him below the cut.

I believe that EVERYTHING about Cloud Strife as a character makes total sense once you realize: it's autism.

Here's a character whose entire arc revolves around the erosion of his identity and his desperate attempts to adhere to an ideal image, at the expense of his own wellbeing; and how self acceptance is the thing that brings him back from the edge of despair.

Youtube theorycrafters waste hours of their lives trying to piece together Cloud's psyche, when the answer is just... autism. It really is that simple. I will die on this goddamn hill.

In Trace of Two Pasts, we learn that even as a toddler, Cloud really was just... like that. Unemotive and awkward. And the entire lifestream sequence in the OG shows us a young Cloud who behaves in baffling ways. Tifa and her friends invited Cloud into their group, but he rejected their friendship while simultaneously harboring a seething jealousy. How the heck does that work, huh?

Viewing this through the Autism Lens™️, his approach make way more sense. Fearing his own inability to read and reciprocate their intentions, he pushes them away, and the resulting loneliness crushes him. He mistakes that loneliness for anger. He turns that anger outwards and gets into fights. Because the other kids don't understand him, Cloud sees them as stupid and immature. It's the perfect recipe for disastrous distrust. The tragic result is that, when Tifa gets into her accident, Cloud is immediately blamed by kids AND adults. He's seen as inherently dangerous and unpredictable, even though he did nothing wrong. It's like they were already looking for the perfect excuse to hate him.

The worst part is, because he struggles to articulate his own thoughts and feelings, he starts to just... accept what other people say about him. He's a pain in the ass. He's a selfish brat. He could try being a bit nicer. Any attempt that he makes to argue, backfires and proves their points even more. He's being childish. He needs to get his shit together. Nothing's ever good enough for him. He stops fighting it and lets people drag him around and violate his boundaries, because no matter how loud he yells or how intelligently he argues, nothing he says ever reaches their ears. He trims away more and more of himself to try and appease others and nurse the constant emotional pain. (And that's not even addressing the entire traumatic *waves hands* everything that he's gone through by the time he reaches Midgar! That would have to be its own tangent lol.)

It's hard to watch as a player; the secondhand embarrassment of Cloud's social blunders is immense. Some people don't like Cloud as a video game protagonist, which is perfectly valid. But a lot of times, they justify their opinion by perpetuating the same damaging language. He's an asshole, he's a weirdo, he hates people. The irony would be hilarious if it wasn't so frustrating. I know Cloud is just a fictional character, he doesn't need to be defended from harsh criticisms. But I can't help but wonder what these players think about the "weird people-hating assholes" that they meet in real life.

It also makes me wonder if they were even paying attention. I think the games make it pretty damn obvious what's going on. He's an asshole because other characters treat him like one before they even get to know him. He hates people because he doesn't understand them, and they don't even try to understand him. He's a weirdo because he has a strange way of showing how deeply he loves and cares, and he's afraid that his love will be misinterpreted like every other emotion he's ever dared to show.

The autism is everywhere. It permeates his entire being. It's in his silly responses when he takes things too literally. It's in his painfully practical way with words. It's in the stiff expressionless look and the flat tone of voice. It's in him constantly adjusting his gloves, shifting his weight, looking down at his feet. It's in his questionable idea of what you're supposed to do with your body at a yoga session. It's in the half a dozen flustered high fives, it's in the motion sickness. It's in the contagious eagerness with his special interests in SOLDIER and materia and chocobos.

It's in the moments where the facade crumbles and we get to see the real Cloud, the one that Aerith knew was in there— the one that Tifa finds in the lifestream— the one that Zack gave his life for— the Cloud that cherishes the whole world. He's got so much of everything inside of his heart, and he doesn't know how to get it out. You'd be a weird asshole about it, too.

[wes-laye]

Do y’all see my vision hahaha

I will also say I have lost steam painting…. Once again…..

[heart-wit-strength]

Agreed that fandoms get less lively once the show is over, but also perhaps sometimes people just need to look past old content creators that have moved on from their interests, and begin showing support to new folks that are still engaging with the media

Almost like dead fandoms don't happen when people move on, but when people refuse to acknowledge creators still here once the Big Blogs are gone

[nmbrrr77]

🤨🫵🏳️‍🌈

[embershroud108]

[lichqueenlibrarian]

I am sure there’s nothing to be read into Spock adjusting Kirk’s sleeves or the Romulan commander doing the same for James…

[taxlthomas]

this is basically my crazy origin story btw

[mintedwitcher]

I love how Completely Normal we're all being about a gold tooth :)

[averageludwig]

listen there is a difference. TRUST..

[twistedappletree]

Just had an ‘accidental time travel’ thought where Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui suddenly wake up in present-day China but find out it’s only them who got sent to the future

and while LSZ keeps calm and lowkey gets excited about all the new things around him, JL straight up has a mental breakdown in public and all everyone sees is some weird kid dressed in ancient clothes, strapped up with a bow and sword and curled up in a ball in the middle of the street while screaming and sobbing for his “jiujiu”

[phantomsies]

literacy, empathy and nuance are dead fucking arts and there really is no coming back from it.

[eldritchblaaaast]

me, realizing that lavellan's outfit in the 'we make this journey together' ending matches the color scheme i now associate with my extremely non-canon inquisitor:

[starlight-eclipsed]

A small question about your wonderful doppelganger au if you don't mind - why is Legato shorter than Legend now? Is it magic from Triforce Heroes or something else?

BTW I absolutely LOVED your last update, Legato being comforted by Hyrule and Warriors after dyeing his hair melted my heart🥹🥹🫶

Aw, thank you so much <33 To answer your question: he just shrunk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

...

XD Okay, but to be serious: I promise there is a reason. This is one of the points where Legato is an unreliable narrator. He does not want to think about the reason why, so he'll only mention it indirectly. Pay attention--there are clues if you want to try to figure it out before it's directly revealed :3

[voxofthevoid]

Finished the kenita oneshot (might split it into two chapters though), and it's like, I am very sure Yuuji has no mommy issues in canon...but being raised by Kenjaku sure would give him a few:

“Sorry,” Yuuji gasps, shuddering all over. Kaori lets out a harsh bark of a sound; if it’s a laugh, it’s like nothing Yuuji’s ever heard from her. She says, “Don’t lie to your mother.” It’s Yuuji’s turn to make a noise he can’t recognize, and it doesn’t matter anyway because she swallows him up the next moment, everything from the brutal clutch of her cunt to the swollen spill of her tits between her own bent legs branding his mind, his cock, the insides of his bones. Kaori likes to talk about souls—nothing sweet, usually the opposite. This is the first time Yuuji’s feeling like his own has been touched. He tries to chase that touch back to his mother’s cunt, her womb, fucking into the hot flesh that’s all that’s there between his body and his birth.