#nothing super interesting but i just felt like drawing them

[cotton-fae24]

Chapter 6, part 1/5

I'm sure this is a chapter you've all been waiting for, I certainly have. It was nice to move away from all the blues and greens and get some nice pinks, yellows and oranges here! I'm just happy I'm not drawing 5 million bubbles for once! Anyway, hope you all enjoy!

Stringbean likes to sleep on the top of Luz’s bed in a pillow all her own. She feels a sudden breeze brush against her cheek, causing her to wake up. She spots Luz swimming up towards the surface, wearing her family's compass around her neck. Stringbean manages to check up on Luz, and sees that Luz is sitting on a rock watching the sunrise.

Stringbean slithers up to Luz’s shoulder and Luz gives her a warm but sad smile. The guilt Luz has felt for abandoning her family hasn’t quite left her, and she is trying to mend that feeling by coming up to the surface.

You see, when she and Hunter were younger, Camila would wake them up super early to watch the sunrise together. It’s one of the earliest memories Luz has of her family, and watching the sunrise gives her some level of comfort, like her mother is still beside her.

The warmth is broken when Luz hears a noise, and ever the skittish she jumps into the water and hides behind a rock. She spots what looks to be a group of mermaids, around her age, hanging out on the surface.

One of the mermaids, a girl with pink hair, seemed to be chatting away with another girl with brown hair. The Pink hair girl asks the other girl, whom she addresses as “Amity” if she’s enjoying the sunrise. Amity tells the pink-haired girl, whom she addresses as “Boscha,” that there's nothing interesting about the surface, and that she has better things to do than look at some foolish light show. As Amity is saying all of this, Luz can’t help but be drawn to her. She’s one of the prettiest girls she’s ever seen, and she’s overcome with a strange feeling.

[threateningwatercress]

some misc doodles

[meggletoomanyfandoms]

Valentines Day!

(Not my gif!)

Alastor x Fem!Reader

Summary- Valentines Day is coming up and Charlie has decided to incorporate the holiday and use it to create an exercise to bring the hotel staff and residents closer together!

Word count- 1,625

TW- None really. Alastor fluff, super sweet!

Not proofread, there may be some spelling/grammar mistakes!

Author's Note- This might just be the sweetest thing I've written in forever! I can't wait to write more for Alastor, as I had so much fun writing this one! I am also taking requests, feel free to send one in!

“Alright everyone! So for today’s lesson, I thought it would be fun if we did something for Valentine's Day!” Charlie excitedly said, clapping her hands together with a big smile on her face, “This could be great to strengthen our bonds and help us get to know each other better!” You looked around the room and could see the other’s weren’t too happy about this, especially Angel.

“Look, do we really gotta do this?” he asked, rolling his eyes, “Noone hardly even celebrates that holiday here.” 

“True that may be, I still think this would be a great lesson and exercise for us all!” Charlie grinned, “Okay, so what I was thinking is we draw names from this bowl and whoever you get is the one you have to make a valentine for and deliver them at the end of the day!” 

“And what are we supposed to be making?” Husk shook his head, “I gotta agree with Angel on this one, I think this is stupid…” You looked at Charlie who now had pleading eyes.

“Oh come now, this should definitely prove interesting,” Alastor said, his wide grin unfaltering. 

“Uhm.. I think this could actually be fun..” Charlie grinned and grabbed you into a big hug.

“Oh thank you, thank you!” she let you go and stuck the bowl with the names written on folded pieces of paper in it, “Here y/n, you can pick first!” 

You gulped but then stuck your hand in the bowl and grabbed one of the small sheets of paper, “Alrighty now, don’t tell us who it is! Simply make them a gift and give it to them!”

“What's the point of doing this if we’re not going to be sharing it with the rest of the group?” Angel asked as Charlie passed the bowl on, now holding it out in front of him. 

“I was thinking that we are always doing group activities so I thought that maybe this time we could do something sort of one on one! And if you’d all like, we can always share it with each other later!” 

You waited until Charlie finished passing the bowl around and everyone went to draw names., “Now everyone, see who you got!” she excitedly said as she unfolded the small piece of paper in her hands. With a racing heart, you followed suit and did the same. When you read the name on the small piece of paper your eyes instantly widened and your heart began racing.

Alastor. 

You immediately looked up to find a certain radio demon eyeing you and grinning, and after a few seconds he turned and made his way out the door. Around you you could hear a few sighs coming from the others but your thoughts drowned them out. What were you supposed to make for Alastor?You hadn’t really even spoken to the demon since you’d started staying here a few weeks ago; he really kept his distance from you and you from him. In all honesty, he kind of frightened you a bit as everything about him was so mysterious.

Sighing you made your way upstairs and into your room. You started rummaging through what few things you had in your drawer, hoping for any sort of idea to pop into your head but… Nothing. Not a damn thing. You rubbed your hands over your face and sighed once again until something at the bottom of your drawer caught your eye.

Red ribbon? You thought for a moment and grabbed it, an idea immediately popping into your mind. It won’t be anything big but it’s the best you’ve got…

--------- 

Putting the last few finishing touches on his Alastor’s gift, you felt kind of proud of yourself for making his gift. You managed to find a small box to put it in and now you just had to deliver it. Feeling suddenly nervous, you held the small box tightly in your hands as you made his way to his room. You stopped in front of his door and took a deep breath, then knockers slowly on his door.

“Come in, come in!” he said, static clinging to his voice. You did as he said and slowly opened his door to find him sitting at his table in his, er, swamp that connected to his bedroom? Yep, definitely mysterious…

“Oh my dear!” he said, standing up and making his way over to you, “yes I thought it was you got my name from the bowl!” You nodded.

“I did,” you said, “And I uhm, made you a gift but Alastor it’s not the greatest thing-” before you could finish speaking he simply shushed you.

“Now now, dear girl! I’m sure whatever you’ve made is marvelous indeed!” he held out his hands, “May I see it?” You handed the small box over to him and watched as he lifted the lid and tossed it to the floor. His smile didn't change a bit as he pulled the bright red bow out of the box and inspected it.

“I thought that maybe you'd like to put on your uhm, microphone thing? To uhh.. Liven it up a bit?” you felt your cheeks heating up instantly as you spoke aloud, what an awful gift! You could have made him literally anything else,  but this is what you came up with? 

“Thank you!” he said, sticking the ribbon onto his cane, just below the microphone, “this was a well thought out gift indeed!” You were surprised and were going to question him when he spoke again.

“For your gift my dear, we’ll have to take the long road if that is alright with you!” You shook your head.

“Uhm, Alastor I think you’re supposed to give a gift to the person whose name you drawn, not me-”

“Well whose name do you think I drew?” he said, reaching into his pocket and handing you a small white sheet of paper. Your eyes widened when you saw your own name written on the paper. He held out his arm to you, “Would you please accompany me?” You hesitated but finally took his arm and followed where he led you. 

His radio tower. You’d never been in there before- actually, you don’t think anyone except Alastor himself had been. “My gift is up here?” you asked him. He nodded his head and pointed to a seat, “Won’t you please sit, my dear?” Hesitantly, you did as he asked and sat in the chair. You watched as he took a seat at his desk and began speaking into his microphone. 

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” he said, still grinning from ear to ear, “For tonight’s broadcast, I do have something special planned indeed..” You watched as he spoke and then, like it was absolutely nothing a.. Piano materialized in the room? Instead of him sitting at a desk he was now sitting in front of the instrument. 

“Yes yes, usually my broadcast’s are a bit more.. Different from the one I have planned for tonight, but ah, it is almost Valentine’s Day indeed so I thought to myself, tonight and tonight only, my dear listeners, I shall sing you a song,” he said, making sure to look directly at you with the last thing he said. It was then that he started playing the piano and you watched as his fingers effortlessly flew across the keys and then he began singing..

You instantly recognized the song, ‘La Vie En Rose’ and you were, well, most definitely caught off guard but also you were amazed. He had the sweetest singing voice and, since when did he know how to play the piano? The Alastor you knew was a ruthless soul whose only goal you thought was making deals and stealing other’s souls, but this? Maybe you really didn’t know Alastor, perhaps there was so much more to him then you had realized. 

He finished up the song and piano de-materialized and his desk reappeared, he continued on with his broadcast and you sat by him until he was finished. 

“And with that, dearest listeners, I shall bid you goodnight until next time..” he said, finishing his broadcast and then turning to look at you, still grinning from ear to ear. 

“I do hope you liked your gift, my dear,” he said to you, “Perhaps it wasn’t what you had in mind but I do hope you still enjoyed it.”

“Alastor, since when could you sing like that? And play piano?” you questioned, “Oh! Yes I did enjoy it, so much.. Nobody has ever done something like that for me.” 

“Ah my dear, there is so much that you don’t know about me,” he said, taking your hand and then kissing the top of it. You felt your cheeks begin to heat up as he did so, “Shall we go back to the others now?” You nodded your head.

“Uhm, y-yes Alastor,” you agreed, following him out of the radio tower and back down to the hotel to meet up with the others. 

BONUS:

In the hotel a radio sits upon Husks bar and is playing a certain radio demons podcast, with everyone gathered around it and listening intently. 

“Is that..?” Charlie questioned, turning one of the dials to turn up the volume. 

“Didn’t know the guy could sing, “Angel said, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “Who woulda guessed..” Husk rolled his eyes, taking a cloth and wiping out one of his glasses. 

“I seriously can’t believe it,” Vaggie said, turning to Charlie whose eyes were now tearing up, “Charlie?” 

“He has the most beautiful voice,” she said, now crying. Vaggie rolled her eyes but took her girlfriend into a hug, patting her back to calm her.

[rekino2114]

Presenting your profile to the ace attorney girls

A/n:I got inspired by a post I saw and decided to make it with the girls mainly cause i LOVE writing stuff that fits with the gameplay of a game if that makes sense, please tell me you understood that

Let's pretend that you can show profiles in every game

Ngl putting the tags on this might have taken more time than writing the fic itself (I literally exceeded tumblr's tag limit)

Maya fey

Maya:Oh hey, it's y/n. Do you know what they're doing now? I'd like to go on a date with them

Phoenix:....we're in the middle of solving a case.

Maya:so? There's no wrong time to go on a date with your partner

Mia fey

Mia:y/n? What about them?

Phoenix:they're your partner aren't they?

Mia:Yes, that is true....although I'd like it if you could keep that private. I am your superior, after all

Phoenix:s-sorry boss

Lana skye

Lana:.......

Phoenix:........

Lana:what is it?

Phoenix:nothing I just thought you'd have a stronger reaction to seeing a picture of your s/o

Lana:I don't like to mix my work and personal life, ask Ema if you're really interested

Phoenix:(how does she have an s/o at all with that attitude?)

Ema skye

Ema:That reminds me, if you see y/n, please don't tell them I was eating snackoos

Apollo:hm? Why?

Ema:they.....might have put me on a snack ban cause I spilled fingerprint dust on their clothes

Apollo:......why were you carrying fingerprint dust in your home in the first place?

Ema:......y-you don't need to know that

Franziska von karma

Phoenix:prosecutor von karma might I- ow what was the whipping for?

Von karma:that was for carrying a picture of y/n without their permission

Phoenix:I keep photos of everyone involved with- ow! Again?

Von karma:that was for presenting it to me

Phoenix:why are you mad at me for tha- WHAT ABOUT NOW?

Von karma:nothing, I just felt like it

Phoenix:........

Adrian andrews

Andrews:Oh,that reminded me. I should probably call y/n and see how they're doing

Phoenix: You must really love them

Andrews:Of course, after celeste's death, they were the only good person I had in my life. They really are so so important to me

Iris Hawthorne

Iris:......y-y/n

Phoenix:they're your partner right?

Iris:yes....they-they're the only person involved with me that didn't get their life ruined by dahlia, I couldn't be happier about that

Trucy wright

Trucy:Please don't tell y/n about this, but I'm preparing a super cool magic show made just for them

Apollo:oh that sounds great.....I'm not participating in it am I?

Trucy:Of course polly, who else is gonna be my assistant?

Apollo:(and when did I agree?)

Vera misham

Vera:.....y/n!....

[She draws a heart on her notebook with a smile on her face]

Apollo:I think that's the most emotion I've seen out of her

Trucy: Yeah she probably loves her s/o a lot

Athena cykes

Widget:y/nnnnnn, I love them soooo much

Athena:*blushes* w-widget!....s-sorry boss

Phoenix:it's alright, I know how widget is, that just means you really love your s/o and that's great

Athena:Yeah you're right, I do really love them a lot

Juniper woods

Woods:*blushes* t-thena, don't go around showing me y/n's photo randomly

Athena:Sorry, Junie, but there's nothing wrong with that, right? After all, they are your partner that you love sooo much

Woods:*blushes* If you continue like this, you're gonna make me die of embarrassment

Kay faraday

Kay:there they are! The person who stole my heart

Edgeworth:........

Kay:Get it, Mr Edgeworth? Cause I'm a thief

Edgeworth:yes I got it, I didn't laugh because it wasn't funny

Kay:come on!

Justine courtney

Edgeworth:judge Courtney, this is your romantic partner correct?

Courtney:Yes, they are, y/n is my fiance actually,John is very happy to have another parent figure other than me

Kay:Wow, it must be nice of him to have both of his parents

Courtney:.........shall I remind you that technically he has none of them

Kay:......o-oh yeah I forgot, sorry......eheh

Edgeworth:were you jealous of him?

Kay:........a-aren't you too?

Susato mikotoba

Susato:Is y/n in need of something?

Ryunosuke:oh no I just wanted to speak to you about them

Susato:oh alright then

Ryunosuke:you were really ready to go to them?

Susato:Of course, I'd do anything for them, I want to be the best girlfriend they could ever have, just like I want to be the best judicial assistant you could ever have

Gina lestrade

Ryunosuke:Hey Gina I wanted to-.....w-wait where's the picture?

Gina:you looking for this oddo?

Ryunosuke:....I thought you stopped with the pickpocketing

Gina:Sorry, but I'm gonna keep it, it's of my s/o, and we don't all have fancy cameras like Mr sholmes

Ryunosuke:Scotland yard doesn't?

Gina:Nah,we do, but the boss won't let us use it for "personal purposes." trust me I tried

Esmeralda tusspells

Tusspells:Oh, you have a picture of y/n perfect! Do you mind selling it to me?

Ryunosuke:Hm, why?

Tusspells:I want to make a wax statue of them to celebrate our anniversary but can't use them as a model since I want it to be a surprise, so a picture would be perfect

Ryunosuke:sorry but I need this for the case

Tusspells:Should I remind you what position your detective friend is in? I'm sure you need all the money you can get

Ryunosuke:.......that's fair

Maria gorey

Gorey:That's y/n.....why do you have a picture of them?

Ryunosuke:o-oh you know for case-

Gorey:You know it's been a while since I gave them a gift. Maybe they'd appreciate a real heart to show them my love

Ryunosuke:ok ok I'll throw the picture away (every time I'm near her i feel like she wants to kill me)

Espella cantabella

Espella:ah y/n, they're so sweet

Layton:they must be very important to you am I right?

Espella:yes they treat with so much love and kindness, they truly are the light of my life

Layton:ah young love is so beautiful

Darklaw/eve belduke

Darklaw:no

Phoenix:w-what?

Darklaw:if you want to ask me about y/n then don't. Do you want to end up on trial for disrespecting the high inquisitor?

Phoenix:o-ok (with how scary she is y/n must feel very protected)

[morgana-larkin]

Ok, so this took waaaay longer than I thought it would. I got super busy recently as life got in the way and it was Victoria Day weekend. So here’s the second soulmate fic, so basically it’s a combination of two things again, as soon as you meet your soulmate you start to feel their pain and when you touch them for the first time, it leaves your hand print on their body. Also it’s shark week for me so enjoy the smut. 😉 Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: I have my first Marilyn Thornhill x reader fic out! So go check it out! Link is on my masterlist too! Also if I am not present on here for a couple days this weekend then do not worry! I’ll still try and get fics out as quickly as possible!

Mia Anima Gemella (My Soulmate)

Warnings: smut, lots of fluff, small body issues moment

Words: 6.2k

You walked into Abbott Elementary as the front desk person for the office. You of course heard things about Abbott, but that just made it more interesting to you.

You walk into the office and introduce yourself to the people already there. You get settled in at your desk when someone comes storming in, a beautiful redhead and she goes to Ava’s office. You can’t hear what’s being talked about in there as the door is closed but you can see it’s not pleasant.

The redhead comes back out a lot less angry and sees you. “Hey kid, are you new? Never seen you before.” She asks and you nod as she walks over to your desk.

“Ya it’s my first day.” You tell her with a smile.

“Well you’re in for it here. I’m sure you’ve heard of some things about Abbott.”

“I have, and honestly it interested me. Seems like there’s never a dull moment here.” You tell her and she tilts her head at you.

“No one has ever come in saying that before.” She tells you.

“Well I guess I made my mark here already. I’m the first one to say that.” You tell her and she snorts.

“You are different, I’ll give you that.” She says, she goes to leave but you call out to her.

“I never caught your name.” You say and she looks at you and smiles.

“I never gave it.” She tells you and you quirk an eyebrow at her. “If you last more than a day then I’ll give it to you tomorrow.” She says and leaves. That woman intrigues you and you hope to get to know her more.

At some point you were sorting through papers and get a paper cut and you hiss as you pull your hand away. You grab a bandaid and head to the bathroom to go clean it before putting a bandaid on it.

At the same time in her classroom, Melissa was handing out marked tests and felt a paper cut and she stops and looks at her hand. There was no paper cut or a single mark, was that her soulmate? Has she met her soulmate? She met a lot of people lately. There was that new desk person, people at the grocery store yesterday, a couple new teachers that she never interacted with before.

In the bathroom, you clean your cut and then put a bandaid on it. You go to exit when the door swings open and hits you in the forehead. You immediately tell the kid and teacher you’re fine and then go back to your desk.

Melissa was sitting at her desk while the kids were drawing and feels the pain at her forehead and goes to feel it to find nothing there, again. When the realisation hits her, she smiles. She has a soulmate, and even if they’re a klutz or having a bad day, they’re still out there.

At lunch, Melissa was telling Barb about it in the staff room and Barb smiles at Melissa. Barb always wants Melissa to be happy, and seeing her smile when talking about her soulmate pain, made her smile too. Then suddenly you come in with Janine.

“And this is the staff room. You can put your lunch in the fridge or get a coffee, or simply just sit here and relax.” Janine is rambling to you and you smile at her.

“Thank you Janine.” You tell her and she turns to everyone and sees they’re all looking at you. “Everyone this is y/n y/l/n, she’s a new person working the front desk. I accidentally hit her head with the bathroom door while bringing a student earlier .” She explains and Melissa freezes. Where in the head did you get hit?

You see Melissa and smile at her as you walk to her table. “Well if it isn’t Mrs. No name.” You tell her and she looks up and smirks.

“It’s Ms. No name actually. And don’t anyone mention my name.” She says the last part to everyone.

“You’re no fun.” You say with a pout as you have your hands on an empty chair across from Barb. “Also miss… so you’re not married then.” You tell her and she snorts.

“I was, it didn’t suit me.” She says and goes back to eating.

“Hmm, well I’ll see you tomorrow then, hopefully with your name at that point.” You tell her.

“Maybe, we’ll see, y/n.” She tells you.

“It’s not fair that you know my name and I don’t know yours.” You tell her.

“Bye y/n.” She says and you leave with a huff. Everyone in the break room looks at Melissa weirdly. “What?” She asks as she sees everyone staring at her.

“Were you flirting with her?” Jacob asks and Melissa rolls her eyes at that.

“No, just being friendly.” She says.

“But that’s flirting for you. She’s new and you’re being friendly, that’s you flirting.” Janine says and Melissa huffs.

“I wasn’t flirting with her, she’s just interesting is all. I talked with her after I yelled at Ava this morning.” She says and everyone stops questioning her, even though they still think Melissa was flirting with you.

At the end of the day, you pack all your things up and you head out with a smile, having completed your first day. You had an interesting first day and can’t wait to come back, especially since you might find out that redhead’s name. Speaking of the redhead, you run into her on the way out and you walk out with her.

“Well hello again Ms. No name.” You say and she smiles.

“You got it right this time.” Is all she says. “How was your first day?” She asks.

“It was interesting. Started this new job, met this teacher who wouldn’t tell me her name, got a paper cut and a door to the forehead.” You tell her and her eyes widen. You got a paper cut and hit in the forehead, where she felt pain. She looks down at your right hand and she sees the bandaid on your index finger, where did she feel it again? Was it her index finger on her right hand? She completely forgot. She was too shocked that she forgot to remember where it was.

“Is your forehead ok?” She settles on asking you.

“Ya, I mean I think I’ll survive, hopefully.” You tell her playfully and she snorts.

“You’re a dork.” She says and you put a hand over your heart and you’re smiling.

“Thank you! I feel like no one gets me.” You tell her and she chuckles.

“Well I’ll see you tomorrow.” She tells you and you wave goodbye to her and nod.

The next morning, you walk in and take a seat at your desk. You start eating your breakfast bagel and start reading a paper of something when the redhead comes in and goes to your desk.

“Morning y/n.” She tells you and you look up at her.

“Morning miss.” You tell her and take another bite of your bagel. “So I finally get to know your name?” You ask her and she grins.

“If you can guess it. I’ll only say that it starts with an M.” she says and you huff, going through all the M names in your mind.

“Marguerite?” You say first and she shakes her head. “Molly? Martha? Myrtle?” She shakes her head at every single one and the last one she makes a weird face.

“Did you just make a Harry Potter reference?” She asks.

“Possibly.” You say with a smile and she smiles back at you and shakes her head. “You haven’t even guessed the right vowel for the second letter.

“Right, vowels. Which ones have I not named. “Mildred?” You guess and she laughs.

“Do I look like a Mildred?” She asks, almost offended and you shrug.

“I mean you could. To be honest you look like a Lily.” You say.

“I look like my name is Lily?” She asks with a weird face.

“More to do with the beautiful flower. and she shakes her head. Alright other M names, lets see. “Mabel? Margo? Mary? Marlene? Madeleine?” You guess and she giggles.

“That’s all names with an A after and already told you that it isn’t the right vowel. You still haven’t.”

“You’re having fun with this aren’t you?” You ask her and she smiles.

“Yep. More than I thought.” She admits and you huff.

“Melody?” You ask and she giggles.

“That’s the right vowel but wrong name. Although I’m flattered that you thought of the name for music.” She says and you blush. The bell rings, signalling she has to go to her classroom and she says goodbye and leaves.

When you have time, you write in your phone some names that start with M E. When it’s lunch, you look for her and see her dropping her kids off at the cafeteria and you walk up to her when she starts to go to the staff room.

“Melina?” You say and she turns around to face you.

“Wrong again kid.” She tells you and you go through your list, all the way to the staff room.

“Meredith? Megan?” You say as you entered the staff room.

“Omg you got it!” She says and you’re stunned.

“Wait, really?” You said and she smirks.

“No.” She says and you groan.

“I don’t know how many more M E names there are.” You say.

“Well there’s mine, that you still haven’t guessed.” She teases you. “Think more Italian names.” She tells you and you tilt your head.

“Melissa?” You guess and she gives you a big smile.

“Melissa Schemmenti.” She tells you. “That was fun, watching you struggle.”

“Wait? Your name is Melissa?” You ask her and she nods. “Huh, that’s actually a pretty name. It suits you.” You say and turn around to leave. “ see you around Melissa.” You say without looking at her and leave.

Melissa just got her lunch from the fridge when you said her name was pretty and she has a blush on her face.

“Melissa, you’re blushing.” Barb tells her with a smile.

“No I’m not.” She says as she sits down.

“Yes you are.”

“Well no one has ever said my name is pretty before.” She admits and Barb shakes her head.

“You sure that’s the only reason you’re blushing?” Barb asks as she quirks her eyebrows.

“What other reason would there be?”

“‘Maybe a small crush…?” Barb says gently, to not scare her off.

“Well that’s definitely not it.” She says and Barb shakes her head.

“She could be your soulmate.” Barb said casually and Melissa froze.

On Friday you come in very tired, Melissa notices straight away.

“Hey y/n!” She says and you look up with your head leaning on your right hand and heavy eyelids.

“Hey Melissa.” You tell her without your usual excitement when seeing her.

“What’s got you so gloomy?” She asks.

“Tired. Barely got any sleep. Neighbours next door were having a very active sex life last night, very loudly.” You tell her and she snorts.

“That’s always fun to hear.” She says sarcastically and then leans down and whispers so only you can hear. “Did you masturbate to it?” She asks and you huff.

“No. I wanted to throw something at them, not get off from them.” You tell her with an eye roll.

“Alright, no judgement if you did though. Btw would you be able to make it through today?” She asks and you hum.

“I hope so. I need the money and still need to make it home.” You tell her. You did not make it through the day.

Ava went to Melissa at the end of the day. She waited when Melissa was saying goodbye to one of her students then went up to her.

“Melissa.” Ava called to her.

“What do you want Ava?” Melissa said, unimpressed.

“Your girl fell asleep and we’re all too afraid to wake her.” Ava went straight to the point and Melissa quirked an eyebrow at her.

“Why are you afraid to wake her up?”

“Because she’s your girl, and we don’t wanna mess with you.” Ava said then walked away before Melissa could respond.

“But she’s not my girl.” Melissa muttered. She went to the office and sure enough you were sleeping on your desk. Melissa walked over and she put a hand out to gently shake you awake and then she stopped. If Barb was right and you were her soulmate then touching you and you seeing it would confirm it.

Of course she knew that you stubbed your toe yesterday in the staff room and she felt it and she shot her head up due to the pain. Thankfully nobody noticed and it just looked like she was reacting to you being hurt.

She wanted to touch you to see, she knew once you found it then you most likely tell her about it. At the same time she didn’t want to know, if it’s true and it’s you and you were her soulmate then that means she would have to open up to you and she’s not sure if she’s ready for that or if you’ll want someone around 25 years older than you.

Melissa bent down and tapped your desk near your face, she’s gonna wake you up with noise instead. “Hey hon wake up.” She says in her normal volume and the vibration on the desk and her voice was enough to wake you up and you blinked your eyes open.

“Huh? Wha-what’s going on?” You asked and yawned.

“You fell asleep hon. It’s the end of the day, let’s get you home.” She says and you yawn again and nod. You gather your stuff up and stand up slowly.

You begin to walk beside her to your cars but since the tiredness is still with you, you stumble a bit and she catches you to stabilise you. She caught you with one hand on your waist and the other on your left arm that’s closest to her. It wasn’t until she caught you that she realised what she did, you have a sweater on so she couldn’t tell but you will when you’re home. And it was that thought that something occurred to her, you were in no condition to drive home, you can barely walk.

You walked out the stairs and you were going to your car when she stopped you with a hand on your shoulder. “Hon, let me drive you home. Tomorrow I can drive you here to come pick your car up but you shouldn’t drive when you’re this tired.” She offers and you stare at her.

“Oh it alright, I can call an Uber or something, I don’t want to inconvenience you.” You tell her and she tilts her head at you.

“You wouldn’t inconvenience me, come get in my car.” She instructs you and you nod lazily and walk to her car with her. She opens the door for you and you get in and she closes it when you’re in all the way. She then walks around to the driver's seat and gets in. She puts her purse in the back and buckles herself in. “What’s your address?” She asks you.

You give her your address then she starts the car and leaves the lot. She’s driving to your place when you finally speak. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do this though, or even wake me up. I’m honestly surprised no one else did.” You tell her. Melissa is wondering if she should tell you that they were scared to.

“Ya, maybe they were just trying to get out of there as fast as they could.” Melissa settles on and you chuckle.

“I like your car.” You tell her. “Much better than the beat up sedan that me and half the staff have.” You tell her with a laugh and she smiles at you.

“Thank hon.” She says. You then bring up the subject she thought you would never bring up, or rather hoped that you never bring up.

“So do you have a soulmate?” You ask casually, your head leaning back on the seat as you’re too tired to keep it up yourself.

“I think so, I mean I keep feeling a few phantom pain but nothing else.” She says and you look at her.

“You mean you already aren’t with your soulmate?” You tell her and she shakes her head.

“What about you?” She asks, trying to see where you’re at with it.

“I don’t think I have one, or if I do then I haven’t met them yet. I haven’t felt any phantom pain.” You say and that’s when it hits her, she’s never accidentally gotten hurt since you’ve met. “Probably for the best though. I can be a bit of a klutz at the best of times.” You joke but the happiness with your smile doesn’t reach your eyes. The truth is that you do want a soulmate, and you would love the chance to meet them and be able to spend time with them, building a connection and date.

Melissa wants to test it out to see if you’ll feel any pain that she has, she’ll just have to do one that’s subtle and won’t make it look like she did it on purpose. “I’m sure one day you’ll meet em, anyone would be lucky to be your soulmate.” She tells you and you smile at her.

“Thanks Melissa, and it’ll be a woman, I’m gay.” You tell her and she looks at you.

“Well any woman would be lucky to be your soulmate then.” She says and you smile.

You were hoping to see if she would say if she’s into women or not. You were attracted to Melissa, but you’ve already met her and haven’t felt any phantom pain, so this was gonna be another hopeless crush. She arrives at your house and she makes sure you’re inside safely before she leaves back to her place.

On Saturday she totally forgot that she should text you to offer a ride to get your car but she was too busy thinking on how to test out to see if you’ll feel any phantom pain of hers. It’ll have to be when you’re not in the same room so you don’t notice it and put it together as well.

You ended up not wanting to bother Melissa and just took an Uber to get your car on Friday after a small nap and then drove back home. You were undressing at the end of the day to get ready for bed when you notice a shiny light on your body. There’s one on your waist and one on your arm. You look at it more closely and realise it’s a hand mark, a soulmate mark, and you freeze. The only one that’s touched you today like that is Melissa when she caught you.

You think of all the times you described the little accidents and you try to remember how she reacted to it. You also try to remember the way she reacted when you stubbed your toe yesterday in the staff room. It looked like she reacted the same way as everyone else when it happened, but now you think of it, she reacted right before anyone else did. Then you think of when Janine mentioned your head injury and it looked like she was scared for a second but you didn’t say anything cause you could have been wrong. You put it all together and you come to the conclusion, she knows but hasn’t said anything, for what reason? You don’t know. You’re going to find out though.

On Saturday you spend most of the day going over how you’ll bring it up, then you realise that you’ve never touched her and that’s probably the quickest and simplest way to bring it up. Just touch her arms and see for yourself. You go to your car to go to her place then realise you have no idea where she lives. You text her to ask her if she could come over to drive you to get your car and she agrees right away and says she’s on her way. When she gets there, you’re leaning against your car and waiting for her. She gets out and walks over to you.

“Why do you ask me to get your car if you already have it?” She asks.

“Because I needed to see you and I have no idea where you live.” You tell her and she’s looking at you confused.

“You could have asked.”

“You strike me as the type of person to not give your address out to a lot of people. So I didn't want to ask and get rejected.” You tell her and she smiles. Before she can say anything else to you, you reach out with both your hands and wrap them around her arms. She immediately backs away and looks at you a bit scared.

“What are you doing?” She asks sternly.

“Testing out a theory.” You say and walk the two steps to her and pinch her arm.

“Ow.” She says and then puts it together what you’re doing and testing when she sees your eyes widen.

“I felt that.” You say and the alarm bells go off in her head. “Take off your jacket.” You tell her.

“Hon I-”

“Take. Off. Your jacket.” You tell her sternly and she realises that you’ve figured it out and you just want the confirmation. She takes it off but you don’t see hand marks around her arms and your face drops. “What? How is it that I felt the pinch but you don’t have hand marks where I touched you?” You asked.

“Let’s go inside.” She tells you and you nod. You both go inside and you look at her and cross your arms.

“I thought it’s supposed to be that their first touch is forever imprinted on your body and you’re able to feel their pain once you meet.” You tell her and she looks down.

“Ya that’s true.” She says.

“Well I touched you and it didn’t leave a mark but I felt the phantom pain of the pinch. Also where you touched me, there’s hand marks.” You tell her and she looks at you.

“That wasn’t the first time you touched me.” She tells you and then she lifts her shirt up. You see a hand print on her stomach and then she turns around and you see one on her lower back.

“What?” Is all you say.

“Yesterday when you stumbled, I didn’t just catch you. You touched me to stop yourself from falling.” She tells you.

“How long have you known?” You ask her quietly. “How long have you known that I was your soulmate?” You ask her again a bit more loudly.

“Hon, listen I-”

“How? Long?” You tell her sternly.

“I had suspicions ever since Janine mentioned your head injury. But when you stubbed your toe and I felt it right away, that confirmed it” She admits.

“Why didn’t you say anything then?” You tell her with watery eyes. “Were you just gonna string me along or never tell me?” You ask her, feeling hurt.

“No, I would never do that. Do you think I’m the kind of person who would do that to someone?” She asks you seriously.

“I’ve known you for a week,I don’t know you very well. I know you come to see me everyday, multiple times throughout the day but still.” You say. “And I’m not just anybody Melissa!” You start to raise your voice at her. “I’m your fucking soulmate and you didn’t tell me!” You yell at her with a stomp of your foot when you say didn’t.

“Because I’ve been married already.” She admits and you’re taken back by her words.

“What?”

“I’ve been married already to a guy named Joe. We got married young, we were in love and dumb and decided that even if we weren’t soulmates then we’ll still be together anyway because we loved each other. Then he met his soulmate and we got divorced.” She tells you. “Besides, I’m not like you, I’m not young with my whole life ahead of me. I’ve lived most of my life already, and my body is not what it used to be.” She adds with a sniffle.

“Melissa, do you think it matters to me what your age is? If I’m honest, I’m more attracted to women who are older than me, like more than 15 years older than me. I’ve seen your belly already and I already like what I see.” You tell her as you walk up to her and wipe a tear that fell down her face. “I know we just met but I have to ask, have you ever been with a woman before?” You ask and she smiles.

“Been with in what context? Cause the numbers are different depending on which one you mean.” She tells you.

“What are the numbers for each context?” You ask her.

“Well I’ve never been in a relationship with one but I’ve kissed I think around 6 and I have slept with…” she says and tilts her head and thinks about it. “3” She says and you smile.

“Oh Melissa, you womaniser.” You tease her and she giggles.

“What bout you?” She asks.

“Well I haven’t been in a relationship yet. And I’ve kissed 3 and slept with 2.” You tell her and she smiles. She then walks towards you, slowly wraps her arms around your waist, in case you want to stop her, and she smiles warmly at you. You wrap your arms around her neck in return and smile back at her. She then brings a hand up to your cheek and cups it and looks at your eyes.

“Have I ever told you how pretty your eyes are?” She asks you and you look at hers.

“No, have I told you how pretty yours are?” You reply with and she blushes.

“No you haven’t, and your eyes are very pretty, all of you is. You caught my attention as soon as I saw you. I didn’t know you were my soulmate but you caught my attention cause you’re beautiful.” She tells you and you blush now and wet your lips a bit.

“You think I’m beautiful? Have you seen yourself? You literally define beautiful. And your eyes, I feel like I could get lost in them and I wouldn’t mind it one bit.” You tell her and she’s stunned.

“Wow, no one has ever said anything like that to me.” She tells you. At that moment she can’t resist any longer and kisses you. You kiss her back and you both feel like it’s right, not just because you were told you were soulmates, but you feel like you’re where you’re supposed to be.

You take the time to explore each other, she asks for access to slip her tongue in and you let her. While she’s taking the time to explore you with her tongue, her hands are starting to explore your body as they’re starting to slip under your shirt. Once they’re under your shirt, she moves them to your back and brings you closer against her.

You let your hands wander down her body and you slip them under her shirt. You feel her soft belly skin and you moan. You feel her smile into the skin and then she pulls away and you whine.

“Hon, that was the best kiss I’ve ever had and I’m starting to want more, that’s why I pulled away. And trust me, I didn’t want to pull away either.” She tells you, almost like she’s breathless.

“What if I do this?” You ask and pull your shirt off. She pulls back to look at you as you’re right against her body. You see her eyes turn black and full of lust and she licks her lips.

“You're beautiful but we don’t have too, I don’t want to force you.” She tells you and you lean into her with a smile.

“Aren’t you gonna unclip my bra?” You ask her.

“Are you sure about this hon?” She asks and you nod.

“I’m sure.” You tell her and she immediately unclips your bra and takes it off.

“Wow, your body is stunning.” She says and kisses your neck and you moan out. She pulls back and looks at you with lust filled eyes. “Hon, unless you guide me to your bedroom right now, then I’ll take you right here.” She whispers in your ear. You snatch her hand and run to your bedroom, Melissa giggling at your eagerness.

Although she was just as eager as you are. As soon as you closed your door, she pushed you against it and kissed you, then spun you around, lifted you up and carried you to the bed.

She climbed on top of you and went straight for a nipple. You moaned out and bucked your hips into her. She smiled around your nipple and switched to the other one and put her knee between your legs. You bucked your hips again, without knowing her

thigh was there and grinded her thigh and gasped out. You began to grind down on her thigh while she kept changing to kissing and sucking your neck to your nipples and vice versa.

She pulled away when you were close and you whined. “Relax hon, I just don’t want to waste you on my thigh.” She said as she removed your pants and underwear. She then looked at you and cleaned in close to your ear. “In fact, when you come, I want to have my fingers in you and my mouth on your clit.” She tells you and you whine. She’s going to kill you, you just know it. She then takes her top off and you waste no time in unclipping her bra and ripping it off her.

You could not believe your eyes when you see her chest without any clothes blocking your view. You then immediately go for her nipples and she puts her hands in your hair and keeps your mouth on her nipple. She keeps your mouth to her nipples for a couple minutes and you have no plans to leave. She sticks 2 fingers in you while you’re distracted with her chest and you gasp.

She pulls you off her chest and she leaves a trail of kisses down your chest while she begins pumping her fingers in and out of you. She makes it to your pussy and starts sucking on your clit. You moan out and Melissa smirks when you start humping her mouth. She pins you down with her other hand that is not currently in you, and she starts pumping in and out faster and sucking on your clit harder. You gasp out and you put your hands in her hair as you’re close to coming. You then come seconds later around her fingers and licks it all up. She gently pulls out of you then you grab her wrist and pull her to you. You guide the 2 fingers that were in you, in your mouth and you lick her fingers while locking eyes with her the whole time. You wrap a leg around her waist and bring her closer to you and pull her fingers out of your mouth.

“I believe you still have yet to get off.” You whisper in her ear and she shivers at the feel of your breath touching her. You switch the both of you so now you’re on top and in control. You then slowly take her pants off while leaving a trail of kisses down her legs, followed by her underwear.

“You’re such a tease, and very slow.” She tells you and you smile.

“Well I want to savour you like the queen you are.” You tell her.

“Well if I’m a queen to you, then your majesty commands you to go faster.” She retorts.

“You may be queen but when I’m on top, I’m in charge.”

Melissa tries to switch your positions but you were ready for that and you stop her. She pouts at you and you kiss her. She puts her hands in your hair and moans out. You go down to her neck and start sucking on it and she moans out again.

“You do have a beautiful body Melissa. Don’t ever forget that.” You tell her sternly while looking into her eyes. “In fact if you ever forget, then I’ll just have to remind you.” You say while playing with her nipples and she whines. You then put your mouth around her nipples again and spent a good minute on both of them. You then insert 2 fingers in her and she cries out at the awaited pleasure. You put your thumb on her clit and start rubbing circles and you then kiss her as she has the most kissable lips you’ve ever seen.

She still has her hands in your hair and when you put more pressure on her clit, she yanks your hair and you gasp in her mouth. Her legs start shaking and you can tell she’s close and that gives you an idea. You pull your lips away from her and you look into her eyes.

“Oh y/n I’m so close!” She says.

“I know, but you can’t come yet.” You tell her and she looks at you stunned then whines as she puts her head back on the pillow. “At least not until you admit you have a beautiful body.” You tell her and she whines again. “Whining, while yours is pretty, won’t get me to let you come. So admit you have a beautiful body and you can come.” You tell her and you can tell she’s trying to hold back her orgasm.

“But I don’t…fuck sake… y/n I’m 50 years old.” She tells you and she’s breathing heavily.

“Oh but you do, and I want you to admit it.” You tell her and you curl your fingers, which causes her to scream out. You know she can’t hold it in too much longer as she’s doing everything she can to hold back. She takes one more look at you and you arch an eyebrow at her and she huffs.

“Ok! Ok! I admit it! I have a beautiful body!” She practically yells and you smile.

“Go on, you can come.” You tell her and she immediately comes as she couldn’t hold back any longer. You pull out of her and she brings you close to her and wraps her arms around you while her heartbeat slows down. You put your fingers in your mouth and you moan at the taste of her. She flips your body on her so your back is pressed up against her breasts and she puts her legs between yours and separates your legs. She puts her hands on your breasts and squeezes and massages them. She then sticks a finger in you and puts her other hand on your clit. You gasp out and buck your hips. She then moves her legs and wraps them around yours from the top so she also is able to hold your hips down. She adds two more fingers in you and it feels so good as you feel as she’s filling you up good right now.

It doesn’t take long until you come and you roll off of her and cuddle up next to her when she pulls her fingers out of you.

She wrapped her arms around you and whispered “Mia Anima Gemella.” You looked up at her curiously.

“What does that mean?” You asked her softly.

“It’s loosely translated but it means ‘my soulmate’ in Italian.” She tells you with a smile. “I never thought I would get to say it.” She says softly and you look at her.

“Well I think it was a mistake to say it.” You tell her and she looks at you with a frown and she sees your smirk and she smiles.

“Oh ya? And why’s that?” She asks, playing along with whatever you’re doing.

“Because…” you say and and shift so you're laying on your stomach and propped up with your elbows. “When you speak Italian, you sound so sexy, and now I’ll want to hear you speak Italian a lot more.” You say to her with a pout and she giggles.

“I would love to speak Italian more, especially if it’s to my Anima Gemella.” She tells you and you look down and grin. You look over to her stomach and see your handprint there, where you touched her the first time and you place your hand over top of it. “Whatcha doing?” She asks you.

“If there weren’t such things as soulmates, do you think we would have still found each other?” You ask her.

“Hard to say. I don’t know what the world would be like without them. But I believe if it’s meant to be, then we would still find each other.” She tells you and you smile. You then cuddle up next to her again and you both fall asleep.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

@lilfartbox1

@ricejucie

@unicorniusfallapatorius

@a-queen-and-her-throne

@sleep-deprived-athlete

@og-kxsh-420

Let me know if you want to be added!

[howlsofbloodhounds]

So glad someone else sees the weirdness of people being gross about fem body nightmare it always comes off as somewhat fetishy too bc they reduce him to just being hot

Yes! Absolutely. Seeing the weirdness not only in how nightmare is treated, but also how killer is treated! If he supposedly respects his boss, then why the hell is he drooling over him and treating him vastly different just because nightmare has tits now?

I also see this a lot with female killer or feminine killer—female killer always has huge breasts and small waist and it hardly seems like killer. Even when it’s just normal killer wanting to dress or express himself more feminine, it makes me uncomfortable when it’s done in an overly sexual manner for no reasons?

And of course nightmare and killer are adults, so there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to them or writing/drawing them in adult situations with eachother or others, it’s just that it feels very fetishized and hyper sexualized to have characters drooling over nightmare when hes just existing and also has breasts.

Even with killer as he is now, vastly hypersexualized as a character for not even any real reason either. He only flirted like once or twice in his canon drawings, clearly as a joke even and mostly because people asked rahafwabas to draw those things with killer, and yet it somehow became his entire character. Not to mention how people took “flirty” and “romantic” and immediately went “lustful creepy pervert.”

To the point where people just cant seem to let these aspects of killer’s character be just that; aspects, something interesting and fun, but not his whole entire character.

Don’t yall find it interesting to explore how a character who views themselves as emotionless and is dissociated from themselves and their actions most of the time navigates things like physical intimacy?

Especially when this character has very likely not felt any kind or comforting touch that wasn’t just a way to keep him further manipulated and controlled? How his experiences with abuse and torture and control have become so normalized it taints every aspect of his life, from the ideas of consent to the idea of boundaries.

Can he even feel much sensation that is too gentle, would it send him reeling in discomfort and disgust at first. would he hate how his body reacts even if it’s something that feels good—wouldn’t he feel viscerally unsettled if someone could provoke bodily reactions like flushing cheeks or a beating “soul beat” or even genuine arousal from him.

wouldn’t he think with contempt if his body reacts positively or negatively to receiving comfort. wouldnt he try to find a way to maintain control and detachment because too much stimulation or stress or feeling threatened or trapped or controlled or afraid for his safety and life could trigger higher stages and he lashes out and literally could kill his partner(s) because his mind mistakes the situation for something else. wouldn’t he need a level of either trust or control to willingly engage in something that feels deeply threatening.

Anyway i got off topic, but you’re absolutely correct. I love female or feminine Sanses, especially with the apple twins, and i don’t think there should be any need to hyper sexualize and fetishize the female body. (especially if these feminine/fem presenting or female bodies also happen to be trans/queer bodies; such as with transfem dream.)

like just let nightmare exists as nightmare, regardless of if he happens to have breasts or not—and don’t have his subordinates drooling all over him and behaving super strange just cause nightmares got boobs now.

(and I also don’t wanna see any situation where nightmare who usually doesn’t have boobs has boobs one day and the gang make a big deal about it, since nightmare is a shapeshifter and all. he could realistically just decide he wants boobs one day and the gang could just go “interesting. Anyway..” and hardly even that.

unless it’s to like, ask for today’s pronouns or something, i don’t see no need to comment on the breasts unless in the context of, nightmare is engaging in intimacy with their partner(s) or something. a context where it would make sense. Anyway just be normal about female/fem killer and nightmare please.)

[lukolabrainrot]

It’s interesting that the fandom tends to look for signs in everything (me included! lol), and yet I saw many within it at that time appear to not discuss these possible signs and chill out, instead choosing to lose their sh!t over papgate and vilify L. I was new to the ship then so I didn’t understand the context for the other possible Fallon references beyond the obviously unhinged slip of “I could be the Ken for her” with his hands to his heart. And yet I still thought papgate was likely more complicated than some were making it out to be. Maybe I was just in the wrong spaces then, but it seemed like he became the target for all this men-are-trash rage, and in that vitriol, folks may have missed an actual reassuring message from Mom and Dad. The irony.

I agree!

This is going to be kind of a serious post, but I'm going to share a personal story related to this. When Papgate happened, I had a LOT of anger at L. However, after a few days, I eventually realized that a lot of that anger had absolutely nothing to do with L, and much more to do with my own unresolved traumas around men. I think a lot of the fandom identify a lot more with N, so when Papgate happened, a lot of people felt like L had "chose" A over N, and this triggered a lot of people who may have had someone do that to them in their own lives. Then they just projected that anger out on L, and made him the villain. And by doing this, I think some people were missing what L/N were actually saying about each other after Papgate. I also think that all this hate has resulted in L/N drawing back from SM for their own mental health (which is unfortunate since they have always seemed to enjoy communicating through SM).

Here's the thing, NOBODY is perfect, and I do think some things weren't handled super well in this whole situation (from ALL parties involved). However, I don't think that makes ANYONE a villian in this situation. I think the situation is complicated rn between all parties, but regardless of who L & N end up with, NOBODY involved in this situation deserves any type of hate. It's been hard to see some people in this fandom jump to such serious conclusions and speculation based off the limited information we have, and then present this speculation as fact. I still think there is a lot of potential that L/N might end up together at some point, but if they never do, that's TOTALLY fine! We have to just wait and see what happens, and respect their choices.

[inkdemonapologist]

are you excited for the big role sammy's going to play in Cage?? im apprehensive... i love him a feral amount and i was real disappointed with his 2 seconds of screentime in BatDR

also just saying ur sammy drawings give me life he looks wonderful in hats

brought to u by ⭐️ anon

Hehehe aw thank you!! :D

There’s a lot of things in Dark Revival I ended up disappointed about, but despite my love of Sammy Lawrence, Sammy barely appearing was not really one of them. At the time, I’d commented to friends that the complete lack of Sammy mentions in the hype leading up to BatDR meant he was either very important or had only a cameo appearance, and I was actually pretty delighted about the Cyclebreaker cameo – it’s a moment that takes him startlingly seriously, that wasn’t just him quoting one of his four catch phrases; it’s... a kind of moment we haven’t seen from Sammy before. The part where he gets shot was like, where my expectations were, so the cyclebreaker thing was a pleasant surprise.

But like, ever since The Cage was announced… we knew Sammy kind of had to be in it. Like, Henry says “how did WE escape” and it’s set in the SPECIFIC place and time that Sammy also is; literally the only reason for Sammy to not be a significant character is if the creators actually didn’t want anything to do with him. So I have to admit the announcement that WE CAN CONFIRM that SAMMY WILL PLAY A MAJOR ROLE IN THE CAGE!!!!!!! RESTORED TO HIS CHAPTER 2 CREEPY GLORY! is just…… ugh, it’s hard to articulate why this tweet frustrates me so much.

Like………………….. "he's in it more" is not the only thing people care about, surely! What is he doing? What is his role in all this? What does he even WANT? In a review, "he's back to his chapter 2 creepy glory" would be a powerful recommendation; in a tweet from the creator right after preorders go up, it feels more like, "Hey, remember the thing you wanted? we DEFINITELY did that thing you wanted and we did it SUPER WELL so preorder our game please!!" Give us an intriguing line of dialogue or a hint about what he's doing (opposing you? helping you? uneasy truce? trying to find bendy?) and you wouldn't even need to promise us that he plays a major role; we'd be curious to learn more.

So this reassurance ends up doing the opposite, for me, because I still don't know if the creators even understand what I like about Sammy. The thing is that the circumstances of BatDR (there's a little Bendy running around, the Ink Demon is claimed dead but actually it's not, Wilson is trying to become the Lost Ones' new Big Brother) could've been INCREDIBLY relevant to Sammy -- that's why people wanted him to show up in BatDR, to see what he thinks of these developments and how he would react to them!! So if you're interested in Sammy, the character, then it would not be hard to hint at like, what his deal is – "Sammy knows the Ink Demon is out there somewhere and Henry is the key to finding him" or "after the disappearance of his Lord he's become a desperate man who's as much an obstacle as an ally" or even "Sammy was defiant when he went into the Pit -- what will Henry find when he encounters him now?" or w/e -- simply insisting HES LIKE HE WAS IN CHAPTER TWO, THE ONE YOU GUYS LIKE instead of being able to think of a single character-based hint that we might find compelling is, tbh, rather un-reassuring!!!

My complaint about Twisted Alice’s role in BatDR was that ultimately, it felt like they were just trying to capture the vibes that Twisted Alice had in BatIM instead of really exploring what that character would be doing HERE, in THIS situation. Nothing she’s doing really makes sense, and what IS there seems to have forgotten what her actual deal is, but she’s doing it with the right flair, so it feels like she’s in-character enough for the scene to be fun. Like an episodic cartoon that just forgets what happened in previous episodes depending on who’s writing this one. So… I think that’s a real risk for Sammy. For the people who just want him to show up and whisper cult-ish things so we can hear his voice more and go HEHEHE ITS HIM, this isn’t really a concern lmao, that will probably happen. I don’t have high hopes that he’ll make sense as a character, but tbf I don’t know that he ever has.

And IDK, its still early, its possible the cage will come out and I'll look up spoilers and be like OMG NM I LOVE WHAT THEY DID WITH HIM. A game that's supposed to be psychological horror could, in theory, be a really fun place for Sammy!! Maybe the people actually writing him will give him more care, haha. It's a little silly for me to be so worked up about the marketing for a game that I am not going to buy b/c I’m still not interested in giving JDS, Inc. my money. AND YET DESPITE IT ALL I STILL… CARE ABOUT SAMMY LAWRENCE LMAO….. I think my main emotion about The Cage is just curiosity, though. I do want to know what they do with him. I’m curious if he’ll play a major part in the story, or if he’s like Henry or Porter in BatDR, with one big scene where he gets a bunch of lines and then runs off. A lot of people really want to see Henry and Sammy team up in this, but I’m not writing off the possibility he’s an antagonist of some kind, so I’m curious which way that’ll go. But I don’t feel like I have any strong expectations, so I guess we’ll see!

[tothepointofinsanity]

I know its been a few months now but I wanted to say seeing your Madoka Magica-Cruelty Squad art felt like getting ambushed in the best way possible. It was like experiencing peanut butter and chocolate together for the first time after a life of eating nothing but plain spaghetti.

Oh, thank you. 😳 I really didn’t think anyone would care about my PMMM x CruS crossovers, although I just did them for fun because the ultra brainrot both of them gave me was so intense I could barely focus on my work. I thought initially that it would be too jarring for the cute magical girl show to be merged with the weird evil corporate hitman game, but the idea in on itself [magical girls being assassins] is interesting, and both share some similar elements. <- Glad that some people in the fandom had similar ideas, so I thank them for the support and inspiration.

Due to the way magical girls are from PMMM, I felt that they won’t be super out of place even in a gritty hyperindustrial point in the universe. I will likely draw more in the near future because of the fixation I have on them.

[tocomplainfriend]

Funny thing (not really) I’ve noticed is that Viv has always fetishized m/m relationships. There’s obviously Stolitz, but it goes back way further. There’s Addison from Zoophobia being shipped with a guy who works at his high school, but to mention that Viv has drawn NSFW of them despite Addison canonically being a minor. There’s also Autumn and Rusty, the former whom gets bullied by Rusty cause Rusty is secretly in the closet. Ten years later and she’s still weird about m/m relationships.

TW: fetishizing Queerness

I tried to search a little for Addison's age. In the wiki, that I know Viv did not write it says he is 18, other post say 17- there are people saying the age got changed too? I know almost nothing to zoophobia- if anyone knows about this claim, share your knowledge and importantly evidence of the age thing in specific? I do know about those snake drawings. And also was Viv 19? Have no clue-so I'm not gonna super talk about it without knowledge.

About the Rusty thing, I don't think Viv is a good enough writer (of relationships especially, cause Stolitz mainly) to pull that relationship or story. I don't think she can pull the idea of the closeted bully, purely by the fact that she doesn't understand or acknowledge the problems Stolitz has. If she needs to put down characters to make Stolas seems better and try to justify the power imbalance. I don't think she could write this if she wanted to. This closeted gay bully is such an old trope, too. I think the worst you can do (also as a non-amazing writer) is actually tried to make a romance out of it? Cause a lot of these tropes are more like "HAHA THE BULLY IS GAY HAHAHA", rather than "aww the bully was just sad and gay all along". I don't like it. (also this includes when the bully doesn't bully his romantic interest)

A lot of problems in mlm stuff Vivziepop does is similar to those Yaoi fetishization shit. Where there are also power imbalance. Also, this treatment of the characters like Moxxie? Like he is bi, and with Millie- and his treatment is so shitty. The hole thing of MILLIE PEGS MOXXIE, and that funny cause is less manly of him? Or where the succubus sexually assault them and that is funny??? (that one is not even Blitz being an asshole to him, it's made to act funny). As soon there is something viewed as feminine from him, the show makes fun of him. His feminine appearance in Unhappy campers also leads to make fun of him. Where he is the most vulnerable and insecure is that episode. He is more objectified in a feminine appearance.

Just the entirety of Stolitz is literally a lot of yaoi-sh problems. Also, I do see a lot of red flags in how they wrote Fizz and Asmo'. Because Fizz was insecure af, that he needed the approval of Mammon as an imp. Mammon was using the power that he had over Fizz to use him to get money. He got his approval from Asmo another sin in a higher position of power. (The power imbalance is not the problem vibes). Plus, The Big dominant protector and the sub small uwu cure relationship. Fizz, compared to the first time he appeared, he is so vulnerable and acts so cutesy. Like, the confidence he had during the S1, disappeared so bad. Acting so nice to Glitz and Glam, felt like cutting out all attitude to "uke-fing" him into needing a savior. They make him so powerless

Fizz, a quad amputee, was put in a vulnerable situation related to his trauma and where he lost all his limbs and horns. All to make Blitz "redeem" himself and make them friends again... THAT SUCKS.

Also, there was the fact of how over-sexual all the male mlm characters are, too. Like, Chaz was so much more sexual than Verosika as a succubus.

IT JUST SUCKS.

[ryuichirou]

oh oh i know you said you might not get to every obscure kink ask, but i wanted to throw my hat in the ring with opinions on sleep kink? not necessarily somnophilia but just like...watching their partners sleep, maybe listening to them sleeptalk/snore, play with their hands and faces without them waking up, that sort of thing? ><

Anon! We never address it properly and I haven’t drawn it yet I think, but we actually really don’t mind somno theme and sleep kink… I think we talk about every now and then, mostly in relation to Silver (duh), but this is the first time I’m writing a proper hc list about it.

For some reason at first all of my thoughts were kind of innocent, but I tried to keep it kinky~ I hope you enjoy it.

As mentioned, only talking about the ones I think would have this kink to some degree. Although if you really think about it, it’s not impossible to imagine a scenario for all of these freaks…

I wouldn’t say that Ace has this kink necessarily, but since he feels like the type to want to prank Deuce while he’s sleeping but end up just staring at his peaceful sleepy face for much longer than he anticipated. He thought he’d draw a penis on his cheek and take an embarrassing picture… But for some reason he just put a finger in his mouth instead and started thinking very deeply. It felt warm, and Deuce’s breathing was very quiet and gentle. Anyways, at some point Deuce made a quiet sound, which made Ace kind of flustered, so quickly jumped back on his own bed and went to sleep.

Trey is an interesting one. First of all, he is into anything Riddle-related, so of course if he sees Riddle sleeping in an armchair or a sofa, he’ll sit near him and play with his hair and hands and caress his face for sure. Honestly, this might become a habit for him, since those would be the only moments when he allows himself to get more physical with Riddle without actually risking it… god, imagine thinking that adding sleeping potion to Riddle’s tea and then touching him is less risky than just straight-up touching him. Trey isn’t okay lol But with this way of thinking he might actually take things pretty far. At some point he’ll just develop somno kink in himself and start to enjoy touching a sleeping body in a sexual way. Of course, he might also try it on other people as well before he does it to Riddle. Just to be sure that everything goes well~

Ruggie isn’t necessarily into it, but he does it sometimes. Sometimes Leona falls asleep, sometimes Leona pretends to fall asleep, and at first it left Ruggie all confused, but nowadays he knows that it just means that he has to either fuck him harder… or try to be sneaky about it, depending on whatever it is that is on Leona’s mind lol But every now and then he sees Leona “sleeping” in a very provocative and convenient pose, making it very easy for Ruggie to just place himself near him and snuggle closely to his butt. There was one time when Leona was legitimately asleep and got surprised when he woke up to Ruggie having sex with him lol

Jade is kind of into it. He would enjoy listening and even recording whatever his partner is saying while he’s asleep, that’s for sure. He’ll use this info to tease him later~ But in a sexual way, I think just touching someone while he’s asleep wouldn’t be enough for Jade… Experimenting with mushrooms to see how it affects his victim’s partner’s sleeping behavior – yes, that sounds more arousing. He wants something unpredictable and interesting!

Floyd is into anything  and nothing at the same time. I’m mentioning him just to say that I can easily picture him touching and playing with someone while that person is asleep (especially if it’s someone cute that he really likes), but he would probably get bored faster than Jade. But it’s all good, because he would really enjoy the moment when his lover wakes up all shocked and starts resisting or just flailing helplessly~

You know, I think on some level Jamil also would. It’s not super likely, I’d even say it’s highly unlikely, but it’s also not completely impossible to imagine… Maybe I am too influenced by doujins. Maybe this is wishful thinking lol But I can kind of picture him crawling on top of sleeping Kalim to look at him. Of course, his feelings are still pretty conflicted, so at first it would be just him wanting to reflect a little without hearing Kalim’s annoying voice, but with Jamil’s tendencies towards self-punishment, this habit could somehow grow into a kink. Would he be touching himself, touching Kalim or fucking himself with Kalim’s sleeping body? Who knows.

Rook – um, yes? Absolutely? Like many other kinks in this world, Rook practices this one lol To him, it’s everywhere: whenever he sees a sleeping boy, he looks at his sleeping face. He always plays with his hair, touches his lips, gently rubs his cheeks and nose. He always undresses him very slowly and touches very subtly – oh no he is probably a professional at being so subtle that the sleeping one wouldn’t notice himself getting undressed and touched until it’s too late. Rook loves the smell of a sleeping body, the sounds, the frowning brows when someone is dreaming of something bad, the saliva running down the cheek, the helplessness. He is the one to have sex with a sleeping person without meticulous planning just because “he couldn’t resist”. It’s a very badly hidden secret of his that he loves it… Vil wakes up to him starting at his face or kissing his lips pretty often…

Rook is bad and all, but Lilia is probably the biggest offender when it comes to this lol He is the reason why Silver moans in his sleep sometimes and has a sucking reflex if you put something near his mouth while he’s asleep. Silver isn’t the only boy Lilia loves to touch when he’s asleep, but he finds his reactions to be the loveliest. He used to kiss and touch him in his sleep more often, but he still does it nowadays every now and then, especially when he has nothing to do at night and decides to visit Silver at night, sit on his bed and play with him a little bit. Lilia jokes that he is just protecting Silver’s sleep… Whenever Silver wakes up feeling a bit sore, wet, dirty and with his mouth and nipples a little tingly, he knows exactly what happened, and he doesn’t really mind – he’s used to it.

Sebek is also indirectly affected by Lilia’s antics because he spends a lot of time with Silver and knows his sleeping habits oh too well. When Silver isn’t being disturbed, he sleeps peacefully for the most time, but… sometimes he does have interesting dreams and starts mumbling something, breathing heavily, licking his lips, moving his thighs restlessly. At first Sebek ignored it, but it just kept happening. Sebek isn’t sure how to feel about it, but it makes him feel tingly down there for some reason… One time he put his palm on Silver’s face to cover his mouth and stop him for quietly moaning, and Silver licked it a little. And Sebek completely freaked out. The kink is blossoming inside him, he is resisting so hard..!

[blackheart-6]

noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

[asgoodeasgold]

Matthew Goode "has that fire behind the eyes"

Incredible praise for the performances in Freud's Last Session, particularly Matthew Goode, in this interesting podcast about the film (link below). I must listen to their podcast about The Offer because they loved Matthew as Bob.

I have extracted the most interesting bits from the transcript (that is, the MG bits 😆).

I do agree with them Matthew is at par with the great and the good and that he was snubbed by awards more than once (but I think it's more than twice!).

I love that they have picked up on his non-verbal communication. I love that quote "fire behind the eyes"!

Interesting they think his lack of visibility despite the brilliant acting is because he is in a crowded field (many good actors in his generation). I think it's a bit more complicated than that, a confluence of circumstances and choice perhaps 🤔

📷 Freud's Last session (2023) stills from Sharmill Films

Freud's Last Session, A Discussion | Cinema: A to B (August 2023)

I felt like the acting was operating at a higher level than the source material.

2.46 Amazing neither of these guys got any sort of other nominations for acting and I'm not talking about necessarily Academy Awards but I'm talking like maybe baftas or something else. I think is kind of a shame frankly this is like the second thing I've seen mat Matthew Gooden that he was completely like ignored via nomination

3:35 … the acting's tremendous.

5:11 Watching two masters work and I'm going to use that with Matthew good I've seen him now on enough stuff and how he can change and how he and he holds his own with Anthony Hopkins I did not feel it was like Anthony Hopkins was at this level and Matthew good was at this level or what like you know low that was a little bit lower or whatever like they're equal like they are it's a nice repertoire or you know reper of the two of them going back and forth and I'm just super impressed

5:40 I mean obviously we talked about the offer already I think he was amazing as Bob Evans like really just changed his entire personality to really mimic Bob Evans and here he's nothing like it he's very reserved very intelligent very academic like he really pulls that off I mean Matthew good I really feel like is one of those like that unknown I want to say like the poor man's Benedict Cumberbatch but only in the sense of the Poor Man's because he's not as well known as Benedict Cumberbatch like he's got that acting chops of Cumberbatch he should be playing roles that Cumberbatch isn't heck he's been in movies that Cumberbatch is in imitation game …he held his own there I mean so Matthew good is amazing and it as so fun to watch him

14:13 Freud just wears his emotions on his sleeve and then good is really great at having that restrained but that fire burning behind the eyes which is something that he did so well in um The Watchmen yeah so really spot-on casting

14:31 I mean yeah and he he was able good was able to like internalize a whole lot of that but yet still like you said kind of show it Through The Eyes through the facial features of Lewis's has great respect for Freud

16:44 Matthew's like holding his own and countering properly and yeah they're they're good they're good together

16:52 I'm excited to see what Matthew does what what he goes on to do to see if he starts getting some bigger roles and more important stuff I mean he does have a small body not I don't know small is the the right word for it I know he does have a body of work already but it's not as robust as Hopkins you know and it definitely hasn't the same trajectory as Hopkins did yeah and he I think he lost out roles that went to Christian Bale yeah I can see that or like Bale's a little older but I just looked up Matthew was born in 78 so I think it's kind of just a circumstance you know luck of the draw kind of thing yeah cuz he reminds me quite a bit of Bale the way he kind of moves and Carries himself and the British actor that that category is kind of crowded with like really good actors I mean if you look guys like born in the 70s like mid to late like that's just a ton of them it's super crowded so I think he's run into some of that yeah and there's I mean obviously there's only so many roles and people.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Best and Worst of Both Worlds (Part 16)

tw: literally Yves watching ur every move, super suffocating stuff, Yandere shenanigans

Yeah ok u guys decided to lust for the creep, then the creep u shall receive

after this chapter i mean

Part 17

You told him your opinion on Montgomery.

"I see." He replied. Yves deadpanned at you before pulling you in for another kiss on the lips. Your face and the tips of your ears heat up, you're still not used to this yet.

He pulled away and chuckled at your bashfulness. Trying to cover your burning face with your hands is futile, as it only makes him tease you more.

__

"Call me if you need to go somewhere. I'm available for you any time." He slung the straps of his handbag around his shoulder, and Yves prepared his car keys in his hand.

You told him 'okay' as you're rubbing the last of his lipstick marks off using a piece of wet wipe.

He stroked your head, traced his fingertips down your jaw and finally held your chin. He tilted your head upwards and gave you a forehead kiss.

You whinged as you now have to wipe off one last print. He bid you goodbye before closing and locking the front door behind him.

Soon after, you dashed back into your room trying to escape your housemates hollering.

Days would go on like this: Yves breaks into your house using the spare key, scare the shit out of you when you open the door to see him standing there, receive adequate kisses, eat (br)lunch, talk for hours, landlord comes over to fix more stuff, eat dinner and finally, at around midnight- sometimes later, Yves would leave.

You would go to sleep almost immediately, but definitely looking forward to the next day.

He started coming in earlier and earlier, working on his things during times where you had nothing to say. You asked him about his work, he tried explaining it to you but you zoned out. It's so boring and complicated. Full of numbers, charts and graphs, you couldn't care less.

Needless to say, he cooked all your meals and did all your chores for you. You always protested, because it isn't his job and you should be responsible for taking out the trash or keeping yourself alive.

Yves would simply ignore you and do them anyway. If you're particularly worried, he assures you that it's some sort of a hobby of his to take good care of you. If you insist that he stops, he will guilt you; making you think that you're unnecessarily taking away part of his joy in this relationship when it isn't even harming you. So you just let him do what he wants, and you benefit from it greatly.

You really like him. He lets you take a nap on his lap while he types away at your desk, Yves listens to you ramble about your interests and occasionally adds his own fascinating commentary to it. You were astonished to know he has a whole database of random fandom trivia in his head. He washed your sheets and made your bed for you every morning.

He lets you hog his portable fan to yourself. But eventually, his bargaining powers lead to your landlord installing a ceiling air conditioner in your room. The best part? No rise in rent.

Yves gradually introduced you to a solid skincare routine. It started off with a simple face cleanser and moisturizer. Then he added toner to the regime. Then a weekly exfoliation and bi-weekly usage of sheet masks. It was hard for you to remember to do it or have the motivation, but Yves didn't mind maintaining your skin.

You just love the tingles you felt when he reclined you on your chair and he massages your face with the moisturizer. His fingers skillfully work to unravel you.

He made your house actually enjoyable to live in. You haven't gone out in three weeks and that didn't alarm you. You are glowing, physically fitter than ever, clean and most importantly, happy.

You have the drive to do so many things. Like learning a new language, learning to code, learning to knit or crochet, learning to draw... anything you wanted to do, Yves is always the expert to consult. He would buy the materials you need and teach you step by step. It made sense for him to be an extraordinary mentor, because you found out that he was also an exemplary lecturer at your university at one point.

You confirmed that he's currently a researcher, specifically, a research mathematician who works together with other branches of academia including but not limited to human Psychology, biology and sociology. The gist of his project has to do with predictive algorithms and probabilities. It's impressive and complicated, too bad you're not interested beyond what was described in a nutshell.

It's no secret that you look up to him, seeing that you're also a student looking to advance their education.

But it begs the question of his age. He has done so much in a short span of time. You wonder what his true age is.

But it's almost impossible to know because he would be offended whenever his age is brought up. It seems like he despised being perceived as ancient, which you understand. He probably comes from a time where youth is overly worshipped. You let it go, it isn't like his age affects you in any way.

It doesn't mean you didn't try searching him up. At first you suspected that he was lying because you couldn't find anything about him working at your university on the internet. But you sent an email to the administration asking about him. They came back with the confirmation that Yves is currently a hired researcher there. Strange that they knew who he is without knowing his last name. You guess there's only one Yves in the entirety of his faculty.

Speaking of names, you were shocked to find out that Yves didn't have a last name. After tons of relentless teasing from Yves for wanting to know his surname and a platitude of shame-induced face coverings later, you finally discovered he doesn't have one. This was bizarre to you, but Yves only told you off for being insensitive towards him, as not everyone has the privilege of a last name. It seems like a touchy subject, better not bring it up again.

Although it has been around a month since you think you first met Yves, you can safely say that you're madly in love with him. He is way more attentive and caring of you than anyone you ever met. Not even your parents or guardians can compare. Absolutely no one in your life has treated you this well.

There is that nagging feeling that something is very wrong. It wasn't a "He is going to leave you for someone better" feeling, it was more of a "what if Yves is secretly an organ harvester and he's healing you up to make a good price on the black market?"

But due to blind love, you forced yourself to brush it off as some implausible, impossible, silly thought.

...is it though? Yves does give off uncanny vibes sometimes no matter how suave and sexy he is. He has a lot of things to hide and the knowledge that you have of him is not enough to save you if he ever decides to steal a kidney or two.

Maybe this relationship isn't good for you. It keeps giving you inner turmoil to lose sleep over. This is definitely too good to be true, no one likes being a full time babysitter for their partner; this has to be a trap! You think you should quickly break it off with Yves before it gets too--

You were interrupted from your thoughts when you felt the chilly air from the air conditioner nip at your skin. The bliss of not being boiled alive by your own fluid trickles down your forehead.

You close your eyes and grin, letting the wind blow on your sweaty hair. This is lovely, you're so grateful to have Yves in your life. If you didn't have him here, you wouldn't be able to enjoy this temperate luxury.

Yves lets his focused gaze linger on your form for a few more seconds before replacing the remote back onto the holder. Yves pressed the button on his stopwatch, the beep was soft enough to go unnoticed.

He checked the temperature, the time and the humidity of your bedroom before logging them all into his computer. Yves turned his head to look at your position on the floor, you're splayed out like a rag as gusts of cold air strike your body.

He opened another file, which is the floorplan of this house. His eyes scanned the screen, noting down the exact coordinates of your precise location.

It would always be like this. You would start formulating thoughts and suspicions on Yves, spiral so much that you contemplated ending everything to protect yourself, then something interrupts your mind and eradicating the unwanted ideas entirely. Be it a change in temperature, texture, hunger or thirst. Sometimes, it's because you feel you hit your Yves-interaction/social quota for the day. So he would excuse himself and leave your house until you recovered.

He always comes back at the perfect time. Just right when you're starting to yearn for him. Yves ensures he never leaves for too long to make you think he's neglecting you. But he wouldn't come back too soon to make you go "yuck, this bitch's face again?"

Your signs could be as minuscule as a lower lip twitch, a brief, split-second movement of the eye, flaring of nostrils, positioning of your arms or even a change in the depth or rhythm of your breathing.

Or it could be an increase in heart rate, body temperature or sweat beading from your pores. Hell, it could even be the sound of you swallowing your spit or the smell of irritation.

They are all telltale signs that you're about to do or think about something undesirable due to overwhelm or underwhelm.

It's scary. He could just detect it with his superhuman senses. But ignorance is bliss, you still didn't know that he's puppeteering your environment accordingly. He would very much like to keep it that way.

Yves must admit, he has been careless. For the past three weeks, he failed to consider that his daily presence is wearing you down. It was his own fault for disregarding his calculations, Yves was originally only supposed to see you four times a week; that was the most optimal arrangement.

But he was enamoured, as desperate and feverish as you to be together. He just hides it impeccably well. Could you blame him, though? This was the first time you acknowledged him, the first time Yves got to kiss, touch, and hug you as freely as he wanted. The first time he gets to observe past the use of cameras- he does not need to hide. He gets to put his elaborate meal plans to use, you're eating his cooking, he's washing your clothes and you're accepting his backrubs. This is the closest so far to the ideal he wanted in his life with you. Anyone would be greedy in his situation.

But he flew too close to the sun like Icarus did. The wax melted off his wings and now he has to face the consequences that would have been avoided if only he had controlled himself better.

He's starting to notice you're not as positively receptive to his kisses as before. Sometimes even outright grimacing and shuddering in disgust when you think he's not looking. You spent a couple minutes longer in the bathroom, sometimes up to an hour, claiming you had stomach issues. But you didn't have problems with your digestion, your boyfriend made sure of that. He meticulously checks everything that goes into your mouth and he knows you didn't even pull your pants down. All you did was sit in the corner and scroll on your phone.

You did it just to escape from Yves and he's fully aware of that.

It devastated him when he went through your internet history:

Yves removed his reading glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He checked the timestamps, and you accessed the web since three in the morning.

"Why are my boyfriend's kisses and hugs gross to me now"

"Clingy boyfriend"

"How to tell my boyfriend to stop being clingy without hurting his feelings"

"How to say no to hugs"

"How to say no to hugs and kisses"

"How to say no"

"How to stop people pleasing"

"How to tell people that i dont want to see them but not forever just for a few days"

"Social battery"

"Therapists near me"

"Therapy price"

"is University counseling free"

"university counseling wait times"

"How to break up with my boyfriend"

"Is it rude to break up over text"

"Script for breaking up"

"Nice script for breaking up"

"Kind script for breaking up"

"Breaking up without hurting his feelings script"

"ChatGPT"

"Do retired lecturers have a habit of checking for plagiarism in their day to day life"

"Is AI generated content plagiarism"

"Jobs near me"

He knows he has no one but himself to blame. He had a plan all laid out, if he followed it to a Tee, it would have conditioned you to ultimately accept his intense love without complaints. He was supposed to give you a maximum of one kiss on the lips and four others somewhere else on your face. But gave you a whopping average of 76 kisses a day, 20 of which are on the lips; 1520% of the actual daily cap on kisses.

Likewise, he hugged you too much. Yves was only supposed to give you 12 hugs, lasting 8 seconds each at most, spaced throughout the day. However, you're in his arms for a total of 6 hours a day; 2250% of the maximum.

He is the first thing you see in the morning and the last face you perceive before sleeping, From before sunrise to past beyond sundown, you would be exposed to him; from 6am to 12am the next day; he would already be in your room before you're even awake. Subconsciously, you know he's there because the brain never stops working.

Of course, you would be sick of him! It doesn't matter if you came from an affectionate family or you turned out severely touch-starved, with extreme figures like these, anyone would be nauseated with his presence by the third week!

Yves fought back the urge to run the numbers back the fifth time. The cold hard facts are there, he made a grave mistake. Painstakingly recalculating everything is just a pathetic attempt to appease his denial that he lost control over himself.

He sighed and propped his head up by an elbow, absentmindedly fiddling on his calculator. Yves's eyes flitted up to the monitor. You're curled up into a ball on your bed, scrolling on your phone. Most likely to try and catch up with your own me-time. Yves could see pixels of bags forming under your eyes.

He shook his head and decided he must rectify this. Yves got up from his seat and sauntered out of his office, switching the lights off but leaving his surveillance equipment on.

Meanwhile, you yawned, closing your eyes and letting your phone slip next to you. Finally but reluctantly drifting off to sleep.

[rosypenguins]

Day 8! Least Favorite Character! (Warning: I get heated in this.)

Okay, now I know these two are fairly popular in the fandom, and to an extent I understand why. I’m not trying to knock anyone who likes these characters, I honestly just want an excuse to vent about why I personally do not like them.

Quick explanation for Zoey: I think she’s annoying. She’s one of those two-faced popular bitches who talks about everyone behind their backs because she believes she’s better than them. I hated these girls in school. I’m not gonna like them in my silly little Gacha show. She’s also a total brat, and I find a lot of her lines annoying. And on top of it all she’s a gold-digger and she cheated on Drew. (And that’s not nice.)

Okay, now for Lia. Let’s get the easy stuff out of the way: Similar to Zoey, I find her super annoying and I hate how much she flirts with Jake. It’s like her entire character up until Episode 8. Genuinely, nothing about her stands out to me beyond that. She’s just constantly hitting on him, being a bigger simp than Drew of all people, and it’s super annoying. I hate the trope of “Character A keeps flirting with Character B because B will reciprocate eventually” it’s genuinely so annoying and makes me feel slightly uncomfortable. And I’m not too interested in her backstory with Hailey either (beyond the potential Hailia).

But despite all of this, I never really hated-hated her until Episode 10. Where it was revealed that she was the one who leaked the audio of Jake back-talking the club.

Words genuinely cannot express how much I hated this scene, nor can they express how much I hated her in this exact moment. All I can really say is:

JAKE👏SHOULD👏NOT👏HAVE👏FORGIVEN👏HER

Genuinely, it infuriates me so much he did so. She literally got him kicked out of the Music Club; the one group he felt comfortable around and accepted in. She went and completely fucked him over all because she was jealous.

And honestly, I feel like the build-up of her jealousy was a lot worse than Drew’s. Maybe I just need to go back and rewatch the episodes, but I feel like Lia’s jealousy wasn’t as well portrayed I guess?? Like, I don’t know. I just feel like there weren’t enough scenes between her and Jake to actually make me feel bad for her or make her actions more understandable.

And I hated how weak her reasonings behind her actions were. “Oh, you don’t pay attention to me anymore!!” All you do is flirt with him and he’s made it clear he doesn’t reciprocate, what do you expect?!

I don’t care if she owns up to it and apologizes. I still find her actions shitty and I don’t have to forgive her. (Neither SHOULD JAKE-)

Seriously I feel like Jake should’ve taken like at least a little bit of time before forgiving Lia, like… she fucked him over and he’s just like “oh yeah that’s fine sorry I ignored you for making me uncomfortable.”GSGSYHDSJ-

Okay, but despite all this, I gotta admit I love seeing fan-interpretations of these characters. Honestly, makes them a lot more interesting.

(I wonder if this is gonna shock anyone, because I don’t think I’ve ever complained about them on here and I do draw them quite a bit lol.)

@31days-of-freakblr

[her-power]

The End of All Things (Part Four: e.m. x fem reader)

TRIGGER WARNING & C/W: 18++++ MDNI!!! Sweet! Eddie, hurt/comfort, grief, talk of grief, fluff, heavy drug use, suicidal thoughts, talk of death/dying, lots of crying, lots of swearing, some smut, unprotected p+v, trauma

Part One: Denial Part Two: Anger Part Three: Bargaining

Summary: Relationships are tested, choices are made, words hurt, and you might end up kicking Eddie Munson's ass. Full plot summary is on part one of this series.

Word Count: 8.6k

A/N: I also submitted an original sketch in this part. It's been years since I have drawn something so it's not great and I fucking forgot how hard it is to draw hands and draw a person lmao but I wanted to give you guys a little added bonus to this series.

A/N #2: This part was a bit rough for me to write, but also super healing in a way. I felt like I was looking into the eyes of all of my friends as I was writing this and just remembering things after so many years since losing my mom. Part Five will be released after the holidays, I need a bit of a break to be with my family and be prepared for the griefy feels. I love you all, thank you for giving me a platform to be creative and to heal. <3

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Eddie was pacing in the break room of the record store; inhaling deeply on his cigarette as he tried to gather his thoughts. The trip back home was uneventful, you had stayed at the Inn in Philadelphia for a night again. He had noticed a change in you after the cemetery. It was subtle changes; you would be unusually quiet, but then you would snap out of it and that big, beautiful smile he loved so much would appear. You were tired a lot; Eddie had noticed the bags under your eyes as the weeks went by. He knew you weren’t sleeping. Even when he would stay in the same bed as you, he knew you only pretended to be asleep. When you thought he was asleep, he would hear you rummage around in the kitchen, or go sit out on the porch, smoking a joint. 

Then it hit the two-month mark, and you were starting to terrify him. Summer was almost over, you had lost interest in things you loved to do, like painting, singing, reading. You would go to work, come home, stay awake, sleep, and then go to work again. 

Eddie would try to get you to talk to him, but you would shut down, blocking out anything and everything around you. 

He plops on the chair, his leg bobbing nervously, cigarette dangling out of his mouth. He stood up and started pacing again, he couldn’t sit. 

Eddie had called the realtor two weeks ago; she had a kind voice and gave him useful information and advice when it came to potentially buying a house. He was also curious why there weren’t any hits on the house, it had been on the market for a while and parts of it had been redone but no one was interested in buying it. She told him it was a mystery to her as well, there was nothing aesthetically wrong with the house, the foundation was perfect, the roof was brand new, but no one seemed to care for it. The owners had lowered their price five thousand dollars under the asking price, and there was still no jump. 

He had been saving money here and there for a couple years; he would call it his emergency fund. But when he had saw how you looked at your childhood home, how your eyes lit up with nostalgia and joy, he knew what he had to do. 

He was doing everything in his power to get enough money for the down payment on the house; he had mentioned the plan to your father. Eddie had thought he would think he was crazy, that neither one of you could afford to live in a house, let alone a mortgage. Instead, he asked Eddie how much he needed. Eddie didn’t want anything, he told him, just support. Your father then said something to him that he will never forget. 

“I have two loves in my life: my wife, and my daughter. Some people aren’t lucky enough to have that happen to them. Some dad’s leave, some do stupid shit and some die. I love my daughter with all my heart, but I don’t want her to feel stuck here. I don’t want her to worry about me or worry about what my future holds. I don’t want her to stop her life because her mother died. I’m gonna be okay. I’m going through it, and I’m always going to, but I’m okay. I’m practically an old man, I lived my life, and it was beautiful. It’s still beautiful, but I’m not gonna fully rest until I know that my daughter will be okay. And if she stays here, she won’t be.” He swallows, taking off his glasses to clean the lenses. “Now, I’m asking you how much you need not as a charity. But as a man, looking at a kid I watched grow up to become a man and fall in love with my daughter, who has been by her side through all of this. Wiped her tears, fed her, laugh with her. My daughter loved that house, and the fact that you didn’t even hesitate to call the realtor speaks volumes just what kind of man you are. You want to see her happy, and you are a big part of her happiness. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to love my daughter. I know her mother would agree. So, you’re gonna tell me a number, and I’m gonna do my best to give it to you. Don’t fight me on this.” 

Eddie had almost sobbed right there; it was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to him. He told him a number, and your father said to give him two weeks. Part of him still didn’t want to take it, but he knew if he didn’t, your father would give the whole thing to the realtor. 

He had lit up another cigarette and blew his bangs out of his face. He had called you a few hours ago; you had the day off and planned on taking a nap. Eddie had told you he had found this certain type of acrylic paint you had needed and asked if he wanted to pick it up for you. You had thanked him but said no, and the rest of the phone call was uncomfortable silence. 

“Munson!” Sully’s booming voice comes echoing into the break room. 

Eddie sighs. “What?” 

Sully peeks his head in, his large frame would intimidate most people, especially since he had an enormous throat tattoo, but Sully was a big teddy bear. He was a businessman second, and a father to two beautiful little girls first. “You good, kid?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He inhales on his cigarette and puts it out in the ashtray.

“Any word from her?” Sully was asking about you, and Eddie had told him he spoke to you a while ago. “How’s the money saving going?” 

Eddie had told Sully about his plans, and he was more than onboard with it. He said he was close to the owner of the record store on Newbury St in Boston, that he had put in a good word for him, and the owner was more than happy to welcome him into the store when he was ready. The record store in Boston was two floors, both floors had rows of records, and the bottom floor had a little sound stage where locals would perform for a monthly open mic night. 

Eddie had gone back on the floor with a tote of jazz vinyls, he sat in the aisle and organized the records by artist. Robin had come to visit, had sat on the floor with him, passing him each artist he asked for. 

“I’m worried about her.” Robin says suddenly, looking up to meet Eddie’s eyes. Eddie glances at her and goes back to moving around the vinyls, swallowing hard. 

“Me too.” Eddie says softly. 

“Has she said anything? When I saw her at the Hideout last week, she looked like a walking zombie for Pete’s sake.” Robin looks up at him, he shook his head, staring at his hands, the skull ring on his middle finger. He fingers it gently. “Are you alright, man?” 

“Not really.” He laughs tiredly and looks at her. “She won’t talk to me about how she’s feeling. She’ll talk to me about everything else but that.” 

“What happened at the cemetery?” She asked gently. 

Eddie shakes his head, running his hands over his face. “A breaking point, I think.” 

“Jesus.” She mutters. “What do we do? Intervention? Get a priest? I don’t know how this shit works; I’ve never had someone close to me die before. Is there a rule book? Do we just not say anything and let her be stubborn and just slowly disappear until she’s whittled down to nothing, and we just glue her back together and tell her we love her but what if at that point it’s too late and we can’t—"

Eddie kneels in front of Robin, gently holding her face. “Hey, breathe, dude. Deep breaths.”

“I don’t want anything to happen to her.” Robin tells him quietly, her eyes filling with tears as she looks at her friend. “Why did this have to happen?” 

Eddie caresses her head, gently patting her and pulls her in for a hug. “I don’t know.” He mutters. He was so tired of saying it, tired of saying he didn’t know, because it sounded so fucking simple, but it wasn’t. 

“Why doesn’t she want to talk to us? We’re her friends, she shouldn’t have to suffer alone.” Robin looks up at him and he sighs, gently knocking her chin. 

“I’m going over there after work. I don’t care if she hates me, I need to at least get an idea of what’s going on.” He leans back against the shelves, leaning his arms on his bent knees and Robin wipes her face. 

“How are you holding up?” Eddie looks at her. “With all of this? Losing her too?” 

Eddie gives her a sad smile. “Would you believe if I told you I was fine?” 

“No.” She smirks at him. 

“It’s a surreal feeling honestly.” He realizes he hasn’t spoken about this with anyone, even you. “The only time I ever experienced some sort of loss was when my dad went to prison, but fuck him, he can rot there for all I care. But he’s still alive, she’s not. I’m still trying to process how someone can be here one minute, living, breathing, and then just be…dead.” He shrugs, realizing he’s crying and quickly wipes his tears away, he almost laughs. “See? I don’t even notice I’m crying, it’s stupid.” 

“No, it’s not.” Robin says, reaching over to squeeze his knee. “You’re going through it too.” 

“Yeah, but I feel like I shouldn’t.” He sniffles, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “She wasn’t my mother.” 

Robin gives him a sweet smile. “No, but she was the next best thing to you.” 

He sighs, shaking his head, another tear falls down his cheek. “There’s just so much pain in her. I can feel it.” 

He points to his heart, “I see how much pain she’s in and I want to take all of it, so she doesn’t have to, I’d rather suffer with it for the rest of my life, then watch someone like her go through that when she didn’t deserve it. Her mother didn’t deserve to die. I guess no one does, even the shitty ones.” 

“Nah, the shitty ones deserve it.” Robin laughs and Eddie chuckles. “You really love her, huh?” 

Eddie nods and he sighs, looking into her eyes. “I have to tell you something.” 

Eddie tells her his entire plan, about the house, about your father helping him with some of the down payment. He told her about going to see your childhood home, how it’s been on the market since June, and no one is interested. He told her that if his plan works, he’s gonna ask you to marry him the first night you sleep in the house, and that was the first time he has said it out loud. Robin cried happy tears, followed by punching him in the arm. 

“You guys are leaving me!” 

“Ow!” Eddie laughs, rubbing his arm. “It’s not even set in stone yet.”

“Dude, you know it’s gonna be!” Robin smiles, pulling him in for a hug. “I’m happy for you, but I’m gonna fucking miss you, man.” 

Eddie kisses the top of her head, rubbing her shoulder. “Yeah, I’ll miss you too.” 

“Steve is gonna be devastated.” 

“Nah he’ll be fine.” Eddie jokes. “Yeah, I know. His little boy is growing up.” 

“That sounds so gross when you say it like that.” 

                             ***

Eddie had driven to your house after closing the store; your car was still in the driveway and the outside lights were on. Your father had gone to Jimmy’s for the weekend, and he had called Eddie at the store to make sure he planned on going over there. Your father didn’t say it, but he was worried about you too. 

Eddie walks into the house, hearing the television playing in the living room. He peeks his head into the living and sees your form curled up on the couch, a knitted blanket over you with your hood over your head. It was freezing in the house, Eddie had saw you set the air conditioner to 60 degrees. The only source of light was from the television, it was nick at nite and I Love Lucy was playing. Eddie notices the three empty beer bottles on the coffee table, a half smoked joint, and a bottle of aspirin. He quietly clears the table, dumping out the remaining beer from the bottles in the sink and tossing them in the recycling. He washes his hands and heads back to the living room; he squats on the side of the couch where you were laying, leaning forward to kiss your cheeks softly and caress your head. You stir, opening your eyes, meeting Eddie’s and you smile softly. 

“Hey baby.” Eddie says sweetly to you, rubbing your cheek. 

“Hey.” Your voice is groggy, and you sit up a little, stretching. “What time is it?” You pull your hood down, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. 

“A little after ten. Go back to sleep, I just wanted you to know I was here.” He kisses the top of your hand, and you lean into him to kiss his lips. 

“No, it’s okay, I feel like I haven’t seen you.” You lay back on the couch pillow, reaching out your hand to cup his cheek. Eddie put his hand over yours, and scans your face, he hated how tired you looked. Your hair was in a messy braid over your shoulder, you looked like you had been crying for hours before he got there. 

And your eyes.

Eddie inhales a shaky breath as he looks in your eyes and sees that the light that was once there, was gone. You notice his staring. 

“What?” You ask with a smile. 

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, getting up and sitting next to you, lifting your legs to drape them over his lap. “I just missed you today.” 

You smile, reaching over to entwine your fingers. Eddie leans his head back on the couch, gently rubbing massaging circles around your thighs as you both stare at the television. 

Eddie feels you shudder under his touch, so he stops. 

Apparently, you didn’t want him to stop, because the next thing that happens is you straddling him, pressing your lips to his in a passionate kiss. He holds your waist tightly and groans when you grind yourself against his jeans. You pull off your hoodie, wearing only a lace bra and you deepen the kiss again. 

Talk to her, idiot! Eddie is saying to himself, and he moans in response when your teeth graze his throat. She knows exactly what she’s doing, she’s avoiding, she knows how she looks, stop kissing her and talk to her! 

Eddie’s conscious screams at him but he continues to kiss you, continues to touch your skin. His skin prickles with goosebumps when your hand touches his stomach above his jeans. Your hand slides down into his pants, grasping his hard length in your hand and Eddie moans loudly.  

You’re a stupid fuck! Snap out of it, dummy! 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Eddie finally says breathlessly against your lips. “Stop, stop.”

You pull away from him, removing your hand as if it burned. You stare at him with confusion and concern that you may have hurt him. Eddie runs his hands over his face, leaning forward on his knees. “We need to talk.” 

“Don’t like that.” You say softly, laughing a little, your heart was racing. 

“No, it’s not that kind of talk.” Eddie gives you a sad smile, taking your hand in his and rubbing his thumb over your skin. “You’re starting to scare me.” 

You pause, staring at his face. “What? What do you mean?” 

Eddie looks at you, really looks at you. “You know what I mean.” 

You pull your hand away from his and he sighs, he can already feel you pulling away, he can see it in your eyes too. “Eddie, I’m fine.” 

Frustration rose in his chest, and he wants to laugh but he doesn’t, he scoffs instead. “Is that a lie you’re telling me or telling yourself? Do you really think you’re fine?” 

She blinks, her eyes already widening with tears. “I’m not lying, Eddie.” 

“When was the last time you ate? When was the last time you did something you actually enjoyed? Because for two months, you have been disappearing in front of my eyes.” His own tears were filling his eyes, and he blinks them away. “You need to talk to me.” 

“And say what? What do you want me to say, Eddie?” You raise your voice. 

“Fucking anything!” He gets up from the couch and paces. You watch him with sad eyes. “Jesus Christ; I know you’re hurting; I know you’re in pain, I can clearly see that but all I’m asking is for you to talk to me. I told you I’m here for you, but instead you’re pushing me away!” 

“Okay. You want me to talk? Let’s talk.” Your bottom lip trembles as you look up at him and toss your hoodie back over your body. “Every single damn day I am praying that I don’t wake up in this life, and I wake up in the next because I am tired. I am so tired, Eddie. When I sleep, I don’t feel this fucking throbbing pain in my chest like I feel right now. When I sleep, I have dreams instead of nightmares now and I see her. I see her and she’s alive and I want to stay there. I physically cannot stand to look at myself in the mirror because of how fucked up I look. I don’t tell you these things because it’s not your fucking job to heal me, it’s no one’s job.” 

Eddie stands there stunned, his fingers clench around his chest, a lump forms in his throat, and a breath escapes him. “You’re telling me, that every day you pray you don’t wake up? How the fuck do you think that makes me feel?!” 

“You wanted to talk!” You snap at him. “You wanted the truth so I’m telling you!”

Tears form in his eyes as he stares at you. “Do you have any idea what that would do to me if I lost you? I mean, fuck, I feel like I’m almost there just by how you’ve been lately. It would destroy me if something happened to you. It would kill me. And you pray for that every day?”

You stand up from the couch, grabbing the joint from the table and lighting it quickly; you inhale and let the smoke billow from your nostrils. “I don’t want to die Eddie.” 

“Then what the fuck are you saying to me?!” He yells, tears spilling from his eyes. 

“I’m saying I don’t want to feel this pain anymore! If I could cut it out of me without bleeding out I would do it! If I could swallow a bunch of pills just to get rid of it and be okay, I would do it! I don’t want to die; I want to kill this part of me that feels all this pain and guilt and fucking grief and just be done with it!” You yell at him, hot tears stream down your face. “So yeah, I pray for it.” 

Eddie runs his hands over his mouth, a small sob escaping him as he stares at you. “Why haven’t you told me this?” His voice is so full of pain, it kills you. 

“Because it’s not your job to heal me.” 

“It is if I want to spend the rest of my life with you!” He cries and your breath hitches. “Fuck! I want it all with you. I want you; I want the marriage, I want those babies with you, I want a fucking house in the suburbs with a damn dog! Hell, maybe even a cat. But I meant it when I said that when I look to the future, you’re in it. And right now; I feel like you’re telling me you don’t want any of that.” 

“Of course, I do.” You say quietly, averting your eyes, wiping away your tears. 

“I don’t think you do.” Eddie’s hand goes over his heart again, feeling it slowly break. 

“You’re not inside my head, okay?” You snap at him and point to your temple. “It’s a fucking mess in here. Why would you want to be with someone for the rest of your life who can’t even take a shower? Who has a devil and angel on her shoulder, one telling her it’s okay to feel all this pain and the other telling her, grab those drugs from a few months ago! You won’t feel a goddamn thing!”

“Hold on a minute, you told me you didn’t have any left.” He was big mad; you could see it in his eyes. 

“I lied.” You meet his eyes, and he lets out a laugh. 

“I know exactly what you’re trying to do and hate to break it to you, sweetheart. It’s not gonna work.” He wipes his eyes and his nose. “Did you do it?” 

“No.” You whisper. 

“Go get it then.” Eddie sneers and you look at him like he slapped you. “If you want to do it, numb your pain that way, fucking doit. I’ll do it with you. It will be a Kodak fucking moment.”

“No. Eddie what the fu—" 

“Why? You want to kill that part of yourself, right? Why don’t you kill it slowly with the drugs? Better yet, I’ll go find the guy that supplied the shit that I had, and I’ll go on a fucking ride.” He heads towards the door, tears still running down his face, his eyes wild. You follow him and grab his arm. 

“Eddie, stop it! That could fucking kill you!” 

“Just a small part of me.” Eddie says, his tone cold. 

You let go of his arm, eyes narrowing. “Oh, fuck you!” 

“Stings, doesn’t it?” 

“What are you doing!? Why are you acting like this?!” You yell through your tears. 

“Because you’re not the only one who lost her!” It’s out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Your eyes are wide, glistening with tears. He stares at you, rubbing his palm over his lips. “I cannot imagine the pain you feel right now. But I look at you and I can feel it radiate it from you, every single day. The light in your eyes is gone. And it’s because you choose to suffer with this grief alone.” 

You step back from him, shaking your head as you stare at him. “You know what? You need to go. Get out.” 

“You think I’m gonna leave after what you just told me? You’re out of your mind.” He crosses his arms over his chest. 

“You are a fucking asshole!” Your eyes are wide, wild. You open the front door. “I don’t care if you sleep outside in your van, you need to get away from me!” Tears are pouring down your cheeks as you throw open the front door, you look up at him. “You promised me you wouldn’t push. You promised.” 

“I guess we’re both liars then.” His big brown eyes match your same wild ones, and you squeeze your eyes shut. 

“Please. Just go. Go away.” 

“I’m not leaving you.” Eddie says through his gritted teeth. 

“I want you to! I don’t want to see you! I don’t want to be in the same room as you! Get the fuck out of my house! Get out or I’m calling the fucking cops!” 

He stares at you hard. “You wouldn’t do that.” 

“I wouldn’t? I’ll just say the magic words, town freak, right?” 

His breath hitches and he felt his heart snap in two. Those words have haunted him for five years, and you used it as ammunition, you aimed, and fired. He looks out to his van and then back at you, his face turns from sadness to full on anger. “Fine. Go ahead and suffer alone.” 

He walks away from you, you slam the door shut, and slide down to the floor. Your breathing accelerates and you sob into your hands. You did it, you actually did it. You just took the last ten years, wrapped it up in a ball and threw it in the dumpster. 

Eddie hops into his van, not even bothering to put his seat belt on and peels out of your driveway. He doesn’t even know where he’s going, he just drives. His heart was pounding, behind his eyes stung, he felt like he had his entire body was vibrating. He passes the Leaving Hawkins sign and keeps driving until he’s on a dark stretch of road; he pulls over to the side and turns the car off. He leans his forehead against the steering wheel, his breathing picking up, his hands grip the wheel in a white-knuckle grip. He leans back, punching his dashboard not once, not twice, but three times, and he screams, the sound so guttural, so full of pain, full of anger. “Fuuuuuuck!!!!!!!” 

He sobs, hard. His body trembling as every single emotion that he had bottled up these last few months finally made its way to the surface. He shouldn’t have pushed, he knows that, but he’s glad he did. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have known how bad you were hurting, but it didn’t matter now. You told him to go, so he did.  He takes a cigarette out, lights it and inhales, his breath trembling as the smoke comes out. He didn’t want to feel like this anymore, he needed to feel something else other than this pain, and he felt like a goddamn hypocrite when he turns on the van, driving to Indianapolis to a spot where he knew he’d be able to get rid of his pain.  It didn’t matter now, none of it mattered, he was just pulling the strings to his own destruction. 

He completely disassociated on the ride to the city; he doesn’t even remember putting on music. He goes down a side street, trying to remember if he’s in the right spot, and when he sees the neon BEER sign, he knew he reached his destination. He only knew about this place because of his dad, he had brought him here when he was last out of prison. In every corner of the bar, someone was snorting something, drinking something, smoking something. He parks the van and gets out; as soon as he opens the door to the bar he is hit with aromas of weed, cigarette smoke, and stale beer. It wasn’t that crowded, and Eddie was glad. He sits on the stool at the bar, the bartender was an older woman, maybe in her late fifties, with kind eyes and a sweet smile. 

“What can I get you, honey?” She asks sweetly, placing a napkin in front of him. 

“Whiskey, please, straight.” He hands her a twenty-dollar bill, which she hesitates to take, but does anyway. 

She places the glass in front of him, and he brings the rim of the glass to his lips, knocking the whole thing back. He winces at the bitter taste and twirls his finger around asking for another. She refills his glass, and he nurses this one. 

“You look like you’ve been trekking through a war zone there, sweetheart.” She tells him gently, leaning against the bar, shining a glass. 

Eddie meets her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“I’m not gonna pry, I’m just not sure if you’ve come to the wrong place or the right place.” She gently pats his hand and goes down to the other side of the bar to talk to the other patrons. Eddie glances around the bar, and his eyes fix on a booth in the corner. There’s a man speaking to a woman with their heads bowed, she couldn’t have been much younger than Eddie, she was strikingly beautiful, but had very sad eyes, he notices the exchange. The man had put something in her hand, and she walks away from him, leaving the bar. The man notices Eddie staring and nods at him with a smile, Eddie nods back, looking away from him.  He stares at his glass, twirling it in his fingers, the brown liquid moves side to side as he stares at the glass. He turns his head to look over his shoulder, the man was still there, quietly sipping his beer, looking up at the television that had some sort of sports game on. 

Eddie knocks the rest of his second drink back and gets up from the stool. He feels the hair prickle on the back of his neck as he walks towards the man. The man looks at him and smiles, leaning back in his seat. He looked like a washed-up version of Robert DeNiro, a little intimidating, otherwise he seemed nice. 

Eddie takes out his hand and the man takes it. “Hi, I’m Eddie.” 

“Leon.” He sounded southern, Eddie thought. “What can I do for you?” 

“I don’t know, what do you got?” Eddie asks, already feeling the effects of the drugs that he didn’t even take yet. That’s how much he loved it the first time he tried it, and that was by accident. Again, it didn’t matter anymore. 

Puppet. 

“Uppers, downers, china white—"

Pulling the strings.

“How much for the China white?” 

Destruction. 

Eddie had driven back to the county line outside of Hawkins and had parked in an abandoned fishing spot. The only source of light was from the moon reflecting off the pond, and he opens the square. Leon had told him that if he wasn’t going to shoot it, he’d have to go slow, a small bump. Eddie hated needles, despite having all his tattoos, he couldn’t understand how someone could willingly stick a needle in their arm. 

You’re about to snort it, you stupid fuck. What’s the difference? It’s still heroin.

Eddie takes a cassette from under his seat, he didn’t even bother to look at who the artist was, he was gonna throw it out anyway. He sprinkles a little bit of powder on it, no bigger than his fingernail and takes a rolled-up dollar bill. With no hesitation, he’s snorting it into his air ways. He grunts, his nostrils stinging, and a wave of nausea hits him. The cassette tape falls out of his hands, and he feels the vomit hit the back of his throat. He pushes his door open with his shoulder, vomiting all over the ground. He leans his body onto the door panel, wiping his mouth, coughing a little and that’s when he feels it. His eyes flutter close, and he feels a smile grace his lips. 

“Oh shit.” He whispers, feeling the euphoria coursing through his blood stream, his nervous system, everywhere. He tries to think of something, think of you, think of her, and he felt nothing. Puppet. Strings. Destruction. He practically drags himself into his driver seat and slams his door. He reaches for the bag of powder, blindly finds the dollar bill and snorts again. He laughs when he lifts his head up, it falls back onto the headrest. Before he knew it, it was all gone and he was smoking a cigarette, his eyes half lidded, his head nodding to the side. He would jump awake, inhale on the cigarette and nod out again. He was just resting his eyes, he told himself. 

When he opens his eyes again, he’s in your driveway. He sits up straighter, seeing that it was still dark outside. How the fuck did I get here? He pushes the front door open and practically falls out. He holds his head, the sudden pressure from getting up too fast making him dizzy as he stumbles onto your front porch, pushing your door open. He calls your name, but you don’t answer. He notices the stillness as he stood there, noticing all the lights were off, there was no sound. He suddenly felt sober, and his feet take him to the center of your living room. The light from the bathroom came through the door that was ajar, and all he hears is the sound of his own breathing and his footfalls. 

He pushes the door open slowly with his palm, the hinges squeaking, and he sees you lying there. You’re on your back, your head tilted to one side, arms splayed out, unmoving. 

A groan escapes him, a sound that started from the very depths of his soul. His body falls against the door, and he falls to his knees. His body felt stiff as he crawled to you, hot, angry tears were pooling from his eyes. 

“Nooo…” He groans, his hand shaking as he turns your face, your eyes in a fixed stare. He inhales deeply, cupping your face. You just have to kiss her, and she’ll wake up. That’s all, like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. 

Eddie kisses your lips gently, his tears falling to your cheeks, and he lifts his head. You still lay there unmoving, no breath from your lips. His mouth falls open in a gasp as he looks at you, and his body shakes with sobs. He stares at your face, he couldn’t understand what was happening, why this was happening. 

“Please come back to me, please. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything I said, please.” He cups your face, smoothing back your hair; you were so cold. “Just wake up now, and we can start over, that’s all. Just wake up…please!!!”  He cries and cradles your limp body to him, trying to figure out something, anything that will get you to wake up. He kisses your cheeks, your hair, your forehead. 

His head falls back, and a loud, guttural wail escapes his lungs. “Nooooooo!!!” 

“Nooooo!” Eddie screams himself awake. The sun was beating down on him in the van as he catches his breath, looking around, panic and fright in his wide brown eyes. He was still parked at the pond. He feels bile rise in his throat and barely gets the door open before he’s violently vomiting on the ground. His vomit from the night before inches from where he stood. He wipes his mouth, his skin sweaty, damp. He squints in the sunlight and holds his stomach. He was still high, but functional, his logical part of his brain working faster than it did last night. 

“Fucking idiot, Munson.” He says to himself, and then he remembers his dream. A breath is caught in his throat, and he scrambles himself back in the van, he starts it up, throwing it into reverse and speeds out of there. He was dry heaving on the way to your house, having to stop only once to pull over and vomit again. 

He almost forgets to put the van into park when he screeches into your driveway. He almost falls out and scrambles up the steps, your door was unlocked. He doesn’t bother closing it when he runs in and shouts your name. His blood ran cold when he didn’t get a response from you, and he screams your name again. He runs into the living room, his breath caught when he sees that the bathroom door is ajar like in his dream. His heart pounded and he felt his hands shake: it was just a dream, it wasn’t real. Just a dream. 

The door squeaks open, and you walk out, towel drying your hair from taking a long hot shower. A whimper escapes his lungs, and he startles you. 

The towel falls from your hands as you stare at him and he stares at you, he’s looking at you like he’s seeing a ghost. You immediately notice his features, his pale face, his eyes wide with panic, almost black. He was sweaty, and your hand goes to your mouth to hold back your cry, you knew immediately what he had done and part of you felt responsible. 

There was desperation on both of your faces, and the two of you crash into each other, sobbing and holding each other. Eddie holds your face in his hands, kissing you over and over, his tears mixing with yours. 

“You’re here.” He kept saying and you weren’t sure why. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” He cries holding your face and you shake your head, sputtering, you can feel your face flush as you caress his face, his hair, staring into his eyes. 

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have had you leave. I didn’t do the rest of the drugs, I got rid of them, I flushed them. I didn’t do them, I swear.” Panic is in your voice, and he holds onto your waist tightly as you keep touching him, keeping him upright. 

Eddie feels his heart split in two and feels the guilt bubbling up in his chest as his head falls to your shoulder and he sobs. You hold him there, rubbing the back of his head as you both sobbed. “I fucked up last night, I’m so sorry. But I needed to not feel anything. I thought it didn’t matter, I thought I lost you forever and I couldn’t…couldn’t handle losing another person, I couldn’t handle that pain. There’s so much of it and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.” 

You pull away and hold his face, shaking your head as you give him a small smile. “We have to feel it, I realized that after you left last night. That’s one of the only ways that lets us know that she was real, that the pain is real; that our love is real.” 

“How do you not hate me?” His lip trembles. “After everything I said, after what I did.” 

“Because I love you. No matter what and that’s a hard fucking pill to swallow when you realize how much you love a person, even when you’re so fucking angry at them.”

You run your thumb along his lips, and he smiles softly. “When you left last night, I wanted to die. I was awful to you, I pushed you away because I thought your life would be a lot less chaotic without me in it. And then…” You inhale deeply, your voice shaking. “Then I felt her. I felt this warmth, this blanket of pure comfort and I just let it consume me. Everything poured out, I thought my guts were gonna shut down and I would be stuck in a loop of constant tears forever, but I let her in, and she stayed awhile.” 

Eddie laughs a little as tears continue to fall from his eyes, he caresses your face, your hair and kisses you softly. “I love you.” He whispers to you. 

“I know.” You smirk up at him, wiping away his tears. 

He kisses you again, wrapping his arms around your shoulders, letting out a sigh of relief. You hold him tight, rubbing his back and arms. 

He takes a shower soon afterwards; scrubbing the last night away until his skin felt raw, and he swore he rubbed off most of his chest tattoos. He finds you in your room, and he walks in with no shirt, and just his jeans. His wet curly hair stuck to his chest. You’re sitting upright, sketching in what looks like your mother's sketch pad. 

He sits on the edge of your bed, glancing down at the book. “You’re sketching?” 

You look up at him and smile; you were just doodling. Some wildflowers, eye shapes, your hands. You didn’t feel ready to paint yet, and you forgot how much you loved to sketch. You couldn’t force yourself to be happy, but you could try to be a bit more human. 

You feel his eyes on you and look up again. He’s smiling that sweet smile, his dimples large. He still looked a little high, but he was less sweaty, less jumpy. He wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to feel once it was completely out of his system. Would it hurt? He wondered. But he realized he didn’t care if it did, he deserved to feel that pain.

You close the sketch pad and put it on your nightstand, you scoot closer to him, you drape your legs on either side of him while he kneeled. His hand reaches up to caress your face, your lips, and you pull his mouth towards yours in a sweet kiss. You lay back, taking him with you, he cups your face, his other hand going to your leg to hook around his waist, the kiss deepening. His lips travel to your throat, leaving a soft trail of kisses there and to the center of your chest. You sigh lovingly at his touch, and he lifts up your shirt, leaving soft kisses on your tummy, around your navel and ribs. He feels you shudder at his touch, and he pulls you up, peeling your shirt over your head. You were naked underneath, and he kisses you again. The tips of his fingers glide up your arm, leaving goosebumps to prickle on your skin. You grip his forearm, and gently move your fingers up and down as he kisses your neck, slowly moving down, leaving soft kisses around your breasts, and taking your nipple into his mouth, gently sucking. Your back arches and you moan; he goes to your other breast, gently kissing and sucking. His hand travels down your belly while he teases your nipples, and he snaps the button of your jeans. He meets your lips passionately again, grunting softly as his hand slides down over your sex and fingers your clit generously. You arch your hips, and he pulls off your jeans and underwear. He hovers above you after taking off his own jeans and rubs your face. He leans down to kiss you, his lips soft. You let out a moan and he grunts when you feel him push himself inside you, your back arches at the feeling, a loving sigh escaping your lips. His mouth stays hovered above yours as he thrusts, and you look into his eyes. His fingertips dig gently into your thighs and a throaty moan escapes his lips.  He caresses your face, kissing your lips softly, burying his face in your chest, licking around your nipple again. You grip his shoulders, moaning loud, the sensation of his gentleness, the grinding of his hips, was enough to get you to scream. Your orgasm was building in your lower belly, but you didn’t want this feeling to end. You held onto it, and flipped him onto his back, riding him gently, your palms on his chest. Your clit rubs against his pelvis, and your head falls back in a whimper. He holds your hips, his head arching back against the pillow. He sits up, holding him to you in the butterfly position, his arms tightly around your middle, his lips against your breast. The tingles in your belly grow, and you clench around him, your head falls back as you cry out in pleasure, your orgasm causing every part of your body to tremble, and tears spring to your eyes. He groans against you as he orgasms soon after you, he holds you to him, still catching up on your breathing and you look into his eyes. His hand caresses your cheek, and he kisses you gently. You push yourself off him so you’re sitting more in his lap, pressing your forehead against his and he hugs your waist.

Staring into his big brown eyes, you give him a soft smile, gently petting his face. “From now on, we need to be honest with each other. No more secrets.”

He shakes his head, smiling at you. “No more secrets.”

“I’m not okay, Eddie.” You tell him quietly, your eyes filling up with tears, he tightens his hold. “And I won’t be for a long time. When she died…I think, I think a part of me did too. That’s where that pain is.” You press your hand over your heart, and he gently kisses the center of your chest. “They say there’s stages of this grief, but I think they’re full of shit. I think you go through each stage, over and over and over again. It’s constant, like a running stream. And I know you’re not okay, either. You were right when you said that I’m not the only one who lost her—”

“Sweetheart, that was—”

“Let me finish.” You smile at him, kissing his nose and he stares into your eyes. “I’m not the only one that lost her. Yeah, I lost the bond that we formed as soon as I was born, I lost the late-night talks and getting my tears wiped away because she was my mother. You lost someone very special to you, someone who showed you love and comfort and a bond that can be so rare to find. I will never take that away from you. Your grief is your grief, not mine. But we can heal together. It's not gonna be easy, it’s gonna be really fucking hard but I plan on doing this with you for the rest of my life. I plan on feeling every single emotion that God or whoever the fuck throws at me, at us. I plan on you being by my side until we’re old, watching our grandchildren grow up, yelling at each other on how to figure out technology because let’s face it, this world is going to be run by machines soon. You are the best thing, the craziest thing, that has ever happened to me, and I’m gonna hold onto that until I can’t anymore.” 

His eyes are filled with tears, and he smiles large, kissing you passionately. You hug him tightly, kissing his cheek before getting off his lap. He lights up a cigarette, inhaling it deeply and stretches. He looks at you with his arm draped over his shoulder, just watching you. He stands up to get dressed but you stop him.

“Wait.” You tell him, grabbing your sketch book. “Stay like that."

"What? Why?” He laughs.

“Shut up, don’t move.” 

He smiles at you and stays still, and you begin to sketch out his form. Eddie suddenly felt shy as he hears your pencil hit the paper, this was such an intimate moment, and he didn’t want to mess it up. You concentrated so hard on what you were doing, and he felt his heart skip a few beats as he watches you, both nude, just the sounds of the creativity coming out of your brain. 

You smiled when you were finished, and Eddie was able to move his limbs, feeling stiff all over. You wipe off the pencil dust and hand it to him. He smiles large, you had captured him so beautifully and he realizes it was true, you saw him for who he truly was. 

Just Eddie. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Autumn had come out of nowhere, and you wrap your sweater tighter around you as another wave of nausea hits you. You had left work early; it seemed like every twenty minutes you were running to the bathroom to puke your guts out. You tried to think about what you had eaten the night before; was it the chicken? Was it the leftover meatloaf you had made for your father’s birthday? Eddie had been very cryptic lately, and it was starting to piss you off. He would ask you questions about what color paint you’d use to paint a kitchen, hardwood or carpet; you would overhear him talking to your father about stuff that had to do with finances, and your father had a glint in his eyes, and you tried to think of anything that could possibly make sense. The nausea hits you again and you run to the bathroom and vomit hard. You swore there was nothing left in your system to vomit but your body had other plans. You lean against the tub, the coolness of the porcelain an odd comfort against your skin. 

Your eyes land on an unopened box of tampons, and a sudden thought occurred to you. Closing your eyes, you think back to when you last had your period; trying to figure out the math was like trying to figure out a formula with Einstein.  Your eyes snap open; it had been over a month since your last period.

A month. 

Nausea hits you again and you grip the porcelain, preparing for the worst but nothing comes. “There’s no way.” You say to yourself and lift yourself up on shaky legs. 

Grabbing your keys, you rush out the door to your car, and go into a local pharmacy. You take the first test you see, and don’t make eye contact with the cashier as she rings you up.  When you arrived home, you were grateful Eddie was still at work, and your father was finishing up a construction job in Ohio. You rip open the test, reading the directions. 

“Pee on it? How the fuck…” Your eyes squint as you look at the small diagram drawing of how to get coat the test in urine. Groaning, you pull down your pants, and do your business, yelling comedically as you get urine all over your hand trying to match the test up with the stream. The directions said you had to wait three minutes for the results, and you sit on the toilet lid, your leg bopping up and down anxiously as you wait. 

Once the three minutes was up, you don’t look right away. Your arm reaches the sink counter, and you take it, looking down at the tiny window. There were two lines, and you suddenly forgot what that meant. You scramble to dig the directions out of the trash, scanning the black ink until you reach the result section. 

One line meant it was negative. 

Two lines meant…

Your hands shake as you stare at the test in your hand, like it was a rare piece of art, and you were trying desperately to see if the picture would move. 

No matter how you look at it, the result is gonna stay the same. 

A smile creeps up on your lips, tears well in your eyes and you cover your mouth with your hand. 

Something happens to you just now; it felt like the Earth shifted right at your feet. Before there was a constant tilt for so many months, now suddenly it was upright. Everything seemed brighter, you felt a dull ache in your chest, but it wasn’t pain, no, it was something different. 

Something warm. 

There was a human being growing inside you. Yours and Eddie’s baby. Your father’s grandchild, your mother’s grandchild. Yours. A being that had a part of you and a part of the man you loved. Your best friend, your lover, your confidant. 

You were going to be parents. 

You were going to be a mother.