#nothing scarier than success <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[sopekooks]

407/638 days of missing yoongi

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Choose a number 1-30 and read a sentence for you in time of needs. You can ofc read them all.

1- You're braver than you think. You can get through this too. Just take a breath and then start again. Do not give up.

2- You're not alone even if at times it feels so. Don't worry about being a burden or annoying others: ask for help, talk about your needs and feelings. You don't have to deal with all that by yourself. Keep asking even after being rejected. Someone will answer you.

3- Look inside and see your real worth. No one else can compare to you. You're you, and you're enough and deserving already as you are. Don't let others' harsh judgement make you think otherwise.

4- Life is made of light and dark and so are you. Find your balance again among the two and keep going. It'll be fine, no feeling is going to last forever.

5- Things look scarier and rockier cause they're changing (you're changing too). It's okay to feel uncomfortable and a bit loss or overwhelmed: give yourself time until you find a new balance in your new reality. It won't be bad, I promise.

6- Go slow, take your time. Nothing and nobody is rushing behind you. It's okay to take breaks, it's okay if you're taking a bit more time than you thought in doing something. Focus on the journey not on how much time you're using or thinking you're wasting. You're not wasting time when you use it for yourself. But worrying will make you lose a part of it and hurt you even more.

7- Try to believe that things can change. Be open to them, even if you cannot control this process and see how it is gonna be, chances are it will be great. Trust yourself too (not your fears though, separate from them).

8- You're on the road of success, whether you see it or not. Keep learning, keep welcoming (your feelings in particular): the more grounded and stable you will be able to be, the more opportunities you'll be able to see and make yours.

9- Always be kind and compassionate with yourself: the mistakes you made today won't ever be the mistakes of tomorrow. Making mistakes is a way of learning, not a confirmation of you not being enough. Nobody ever has made no mistakes while trying or becoming better at something. Be patient and give yourself another chance (and even more).

10- Remember the last decision in your life is always up to you: you're the protagonist of your life, don't let it pass you by. Even if at the moment you cannot see a way out, it will come to you. Keep staying hopeful. Keep focusing on what you can actually control, be it even just your feelings.

11- You're not responsible for anyone's feelings or emotions. Remember you cannot control how they react to you or anything really, and you don't have to necessarily make everything better for others. Respect yourself too.

12- Be confident in your abilities and knowledge. Do not second guess yourself cause you were somehow taught you're not good enough: you are. And you can be wrong here and there too and it won't change your worth ever. Trust yourself whether you're right or wrong and soon you'll be just right.

13- Remember that as you give, you also need to receive from others as much. Stay open to that. You don't have to just empty yourself in order to get crumbles or the bear minimum: that's not what healthy relationships are about.

14- Set your boundaries and stand up for yourself. You're not being selfish for this, as you're not imposing on or taking advantages of others. You're just putting yourself on the same page as them, you need as much respect and love as them.

15- Take care of you: stay hydrated, make your bed, take a shower, go for a walk, enjoy a nice book or video or movie, sing, dance, paint... prepare yourself a nice cup of tea and treat yourself with a little gift here and there. You deserve all this, especially when things get rocky and too much to bear with. Celebrate your little successes too.

16- Surround yourself with the right people for you. If you cannot get away from some negative people, try at least to build boundaries and find other people with whom you can share nice moments of peace and growth, and that can get your feelings too. It's important to communicate with people that can understand us.

17- If you feel alone, try to go out and go visit place where you may find like-minded people. Join a volunteering association, go to a movie teather, a park or a library, or start a course of something you're passionate about. Sometimes we need to be the one creating opportunities to ourselves instead of waiting for others to approach us first.

18- It's okay to feel lost while trying to figure out what to do or where to go. Take a breath when this happens and focus on just doing things you like. The more you'll get to know yourself and work on something you enjoy, the faster you'll get to understand more about the next steps to take. Ask to someone trusted for their advice as well: many times people around us can see us better than what we do. Just remember that not everyone can really do that anyway so trust yourself first.

19- You don't have to work on your fears anytime you get triggered or feel overwhelmed. Take a break, focus on something else and come back to it another day. Taking breaks is part of the healing process as much as working with your shadows and triggers, so take time to enjoy your present life away from that too.

20- Help yourself liberating from the excess of energy, caused by anxiety and overthinking, that you may have stored in your body. Move your body: walk, dance, do yoga or any little light exercise (as much as you body allows). Go back to yourself, get in touch with your body and release what is not serving you anymore.

21- Journaling can help you wording and throwing out your confused thoughts, in order to clear them from the inside. You don't have to write them reasonably, this will come later: just focus on freeing yourself first and foremost. At times we just need to pour emotions/events out to process them.

22- Trauma may have caused you to detach from yourself, so take time know yourself again. Know your values and what you can compromise on and why. List things you like and dislike, what you think are your strengths and what may be your flaws (be objective here, don't let others or your wounds decide for you) and so on... you make the rules. Making lists of pros and cons for something may also be useful.

23- As we never stop learning, we never stop making mistakes and growing. Share everything you got around you, keep welcoming and understanding yourself and the world around you. Keep spreading your talents: yes you do have talents, and no they're not negative ones. Allow yourself to try anything you want: who cares if others do it too? They are not doing it better than you, they're doing it differently. See yourself where you can get just by trying with no pressure.

24- You can also try something new and different from what you're used: getting out of your comfort zone can be very inspiring both for your creativity, your mind and your life in general (and in knowing yourself). Share your finds, share your passions. Don't be shy.

25- Having being judged so harshly during your life has probably made you more insecure and willing to close off from the world: please try and allow yourself to see that even if it hurt you so much, it wasn't on you. You weren't the real object of those judgement. It is always all in the head of the person judging, it's never on the object. Be nicer with you, you're worth much more than that.

26- What is really stopping you from trying what you have in mind? Fear of making or not making? Either way, take your fear by the hand and take it to see how is it gonna be for real. Our minds want to keep us safe and try to make things look worse than they actually are just cause they want to keep us in a known zone. But what if that's not where we're supposed to stay? Or where we want to stay?

27- Don't fear: you won't be let down forever nor you won't be alone forever. Your people are coming, try to get ready to meet them and let them in. You're not made for everyone and, if your past has been tough, you may fear not being good enough for the relationship (any type) of your dreams, but you are. And you'll have the chance to build it the moment you'll be ready for it.

28- You may not trust others much out of past hurt, but the fact is that it's never your fault what others do with your trust. You don't have to feel guilty or any less cause you trusted the wrong people. It wasn't your fault.

29- Take your time when you need to bring yourself closure about an event or a relationship. Go slow and try to welcome and nurture each of your emotions and feelings, of whatever type they may be. Ask for support, talk about how you really feel, write, and slowly go back to your passion. Act according on what you feel like doing. Do not make sudden decisions and also, take time to grieve and cry. Grieving is complex, you'll experience ups and downs: it's okay, give yourself time and space to deal with all that at your own pace and conditions.

30- Healing is not about not being triggered anymore and feeling like nothing can scare you: healing is about learning how to recognize your triggers before they hurt you and taking action so that these emotions won't overcome you as they did. It's about learning to not let your fears decide your actions, but taking actions even if not knowing the results feels really uncomfortable and scary. It's about learning to be in discomfort and not letting this ruin your whole life.

---

I hope these short texts can help you in your journey. I hope you take care of your whole being even if you don't really love yourself. I hope you can see yourself as someone you may end up liking after chatting a bit or as someone in need and that you may want to support. Start with that. And be open to see your good sides too, cause you have plenty even on your darkest days (they never disappear).

[satocidal]

what do you think jjk men will be like in a haunted house with you?

since its October now its fitting to talk about halloween :D

qn for u!! do you like horror movies?

i personally wanna like em but im so scared of em :/ esp the jumpscares i hate em but surprisingly i can watch a gory zombie movie without a single flinch its so weird but it only starts and stops at zombie movies. i cant watch any other types of gory movies <\3

Not me sending an ask just as I got this😭 but ok ok here we go<3

Gojo Satoru:

Pretends to be fazed, emphasis on “pretends” because when I say he exaggerates everything? I mean it.

I mean, he’s Satoru you know—obviously he isn’t getting ‘scared��� of anything but he doesn’t let that ruin the vibe for him.

He’s so very obnoxious too- complaining about the price of the tickets and making innuendos about you loudly—poking fun at the staff, all in all, punch worthy.

Inside the house? All the more. For the darkness only ever encourages satoru to cop a feel on you here and there—blaming it all on the ‘brokensms and shitty’ decoration

. He’s a menace through and through so when bored, mid way in the house he’s already on a mission to jump scare the jump-scares — and it works so well, you’re clutching yourself, coughing out broken laughs and he’s entertained too—a win-win situation.

Also starts giving “tips” to the staff onto how to make it successful.

If you ever let out a high pitched scream he’ll try to make you scream louder later, he’s stupid like that.

Geto Suguru:

…why him? Like don’t get me wrong per se but he finds it all so stupid? But to make you happy, suguru geto will comply.

Ps. Suguru is the kind to hook you free tickets just somehow, like he will, don’t question it.

ALWAYS THE GENTLEMAN!!! He will forever hold you close, how so ever less scary it may be and always leads the way and hold your hand. He’s coded that way, nothing can be changed.

Laughs when finally, just finally a jump scare goes past his reflexes and pops out on you guys, surprising him slightly. He will steal it.

Also I think suguru is the kind who is slightly dumb —not obviously but like, he doesn’t get some jumpscares—just doesn’t get it. So when you guys will be walking out, he’ll just go “OH,”

he sincerely doesn’t give two fucks about the haunted house but when you get out, he will ask you if you liked it or no and if you wanted to try that again.

Nanami Kento:

“If you wanted to be scared, I could just show you the amount of work I have pending,” i headcanon that it’s a task in itself to get him to go because ??? Just bake some pretty cookies for yourself Lmao.

Nanami Kento pays full price and through out the way he’s calculating the number of jumpscares that come your way and to see just how much he was charged.

Yeah, Nanami seems scarier than those stupid dressed up guys - especially when you’re trying your best to hold your laugh when a guy thinks Nanami was the jumpscare.

But but but, however mad, he doesn’t break the codes—holds you close, and anytime he feels something is about to happen, he shields you with his body.

And like imagine their is booby trap on the ground (have you guys been to those?) and you notice it before him and help him get away from it? Instant head pats. Bet my ass Nanami is the kind to always and always avoid haunted house from now on and makes you repay in same way *wink wink* afterwards

I was gonna add Sukuna and others too but ehehehe

[scorchrend]

intelligence is just yelling it loud enough

idk. consider this berdly fanfiction but its literally just 3 am thoughts. enjoy

Day in and day out, the same things happened in the sleepy town of Hometown.

Get up, go to school, go to the library, go home. Sure, minor things were different every day, but the routine generally stayed the same. Everything stayed the same. But time is a fickle monster, the days that seemed to drag on the longest could also go by in a flash some other days.

The time would come when they went their separate ways.

Berdly was only where he was because of other people, because of his friend. His friend, who was the real smartest student of the class. He merely rode off of her success. Once college came around, it was highly likely that they would go their separate ways.

Everyone would find out.

What was humiliation, if not an execution of the ego? It would be better to not be present at all, to know what others thought of you. That was the thing that got him into this predicament in the first place, expectations.

Berdly loved expectations.

He adored the praises others would sing, lauding his excellence and perseverance. He loved to prove people wrong about how he would one day fall. He loved to please his family.

He loved pleasing others so much, it made him sick. The thought of losing it all brought a crushing weight into his life. A weight that needed one to work themself to the bone to be able to support. He doesn’t remember the precise moment it came into his life.

Berdly hated expectations. He knew the moment he’d lose his support, he’d lose all the things she’d worked hard for. Not living up to them was scarier than death– being forgotten was a fate worse than passing on. To have the world move on, as if you were never in it in the first place.

His greatly treasured friend would not, at least he hopes that she would not move on. It was selfish, but nobody else would do that for him, he knew this. After all, Noelle was the only one who didn’t care about the expectations and accepted him for who he was.

It was safe to say that losing his friend was losing himself.

It’s okay. He’d never tell anyone about it, but Noelle was a lot better than him. She deserved a lot better than a friend that did nothing but ask for help. Despite all the trouble he’s sure he caused her, he couldn’t help but cling onto her like a lifeline.

However, at this very moment, it was not the average day in Hometown.

As much as the world loved telling him he had no place in it, every speck of matter in his body screamed that today was different.

He may have gotten to where he was despite being underqualified. This was the same. But something told Berdly that this was something only he could do, only he could fix.

It was scary. But nothing was scarier than being forgotten.

By transitive property, nothing was scarier than losing Noelle.

It’s okay. Even through the rollercoaster that was life, he somehow always made it to the end. It would be the same here. He would prove himself capable. If you said anything with enough gusto, people would believe you. The same principle applied to self-talk.

Strangely, Berdly felt like his fear of losing face dissipated then. But the root of the problem remained the same. His friend was in danger, the only friend who knew Berdly not for his achievements, but for his company. If anything happened, it would be the same: he would go on in the world unnoticed.

Not that this was his main reason, no. The ring that adorned her hand was reason enough. He just felt like being introspective, for once in his life.

Berdly steeled himself, and ignored his feathers standing on end.

For once in his life, it was time for him to return the favor.

[bamboobrat]

succession s4 e7 recap: 🍆🍆🇺🇸

this week's recap is nothing short of a trauma dump from this here political operative.

never in my life did i think i would relate to nate, but there truly is nothing scarier than election eve....

we start the episode off the disguisting brothers, preparing for a long night at ATN.

tom has seemingly still not slept and greggory peggory is still recovering from his night on the town with one lukas mattson.

a few levels up, team shiv and team roman are also gearing up for a long night.

other than the distinct lack of booze, i'd say the vibes are pretty realistic.

roman with mencken was always my least favorite version of roman. this episode is no exception.

in fact, i think i'm demonstratively anti-roman in this episode.

and gerri is nowhere to be seen:((

shiv is worried about mattson letting greg in on their little plans.

as she should. rule number 1: don't talk to greg.

rava has to deal with kendall yet again.

this woman is a saint. someone save her.

ken is still on his "everything i do, i do for my children"-shit. you know, everything except ensure that a fascist doesn't make it to the white house.

honestly, this episode is really, very good.

i never wanna watch it again.

mencken bonds with roman over the fact that they both hate the word 'narrative'.

he is prepared to lose and for a millisecond i was hopeful.

tom and greg do coke behind a whiteboard.

this is the right wing politics that i know. 10/10 great representation.

however, we all know how tom is with drugs. he does them all wrong and feels wrong and immediately begins spiraling.

my body is very bad at many things, such as producing enough serotonin, but years of campaigning means my stomach has superpowers.

gas station sushi? no problem. leftover pizza from the night before? don't feel a thing.

i'm stronger than tom, is what i'm saying. activists just do it better, i guess.

connor represents all politicians, all the time:

now, i respect all the politicians i work for loads, but there is just something inherently narcisstic about having six people cater to your needs constantly.

and most of them are unfortunately not as funny as connor.

tom is being a little shit.

with no moves left, shiv tells him she's pregnant.

it's not entirely unreasonable of tom to ask if it's even true, or if it's a tactic telling him that, but he's still a little shit for doing it.

i hate hate hate that we only got like four minutes of shiv girlbossing before she was back to doing everything wrong again... i support women's wrongs, but c'mon:(((

connor is by far my favorite part of this episode.

i just think they are neat<3

ken has his sister's back and i could rewatch those few seconds over and over and over.

fuck tom and his stupid touch screens.

and fuck roman too.

basically, there's a fire in wisconsin and ballots have been lost. historically, those votes have been overwhelmingly democrat, but roman wants them to call wisconsin for mencken, disregarding the burnt up ballots altogether.

he sends his talking points to ravenhead, who goes on an on-air rant, and the rest of the sibs take to the floor at ATN as well, much to greg's dismay.

shiv tries to threaten greg so that he doesn't tell her brothers about her plans with mattson.

as much as i love shiv threatening to pull greg's organs out his asshole, it isn't very effective.

there's an incident with wasabi.

i question a lot of decisions made in this episode, but perhaps most curious of all is the choice of lemon flavored la croix??????

i would laugh more at this if i wasn't so ridden with anxiety.

connor lands an embassadorship in the new mencken administration.

willa is skeptical of the fascism etc but still....

connor makes a speech. i love it when he does that.

we get a brief moment with the old guard, gerri not included.

we get basically no karl:/

instead we get roman being an asshole scene after scene after scene.

pls stop i can't take it anymore!!!

kendall is torn between team shiv and team roman, presumably because he can't decide what outcome will be most helpful to his own ambitions.

oh and there's the whole "my daughter might be in danger if mencken wins", but that seems to be secondary.

because he was vulnerable with shiv for a minute, he feels even more betrayed when he learns about her plans with mattson.

from greg of course. fucking greg.

the hugging era is truly a thing of the past.

i wish i had more jokes, but honestly this episode just made me very, very sad.

roman, ken and tom decide to call the election for mencken, despite shiv's desperate attempts.

and i just have to say, i know shiv isn't altruistic. i know she thinks a jimenez win will benefit her more than mencken will. i knooooow.

it's still very sad.

they call it for mencken.

me every single election night.

roman is very much in the camp of nothing fucking matters, and i guess he is right in a way.

it won't really matter to him or kendall.

it will for sophie, though. it will for jess.

ouffff....

roman now has a direct line into the west wing.

that being said, i don't think he's a very reliable partner for them.

in the end, mencken will do what is good for mencken. the same goes for roman.

i think ken might end up regretting this whole endeavor very, very soon.

tom becomes the face of this political scandal.

can't wait for it to bite him in the arse.

shiv makes a final rallying cry to mattson, but it somehow feels hollow to me.

this shiv girlie is starting to lose hope.

anyway, rava doesn't want ken to come over to see the kids because he prioritized his own project of becoming his dad over keeping them safe.

i guess i agree with him that the poison does, perhaps, drip down.

what a depressing episode!

i'm glad we are getting something to celebrate next week - logan's funeral wiii !!

[eggmixercortex]

the thing about skinamarink is that people tend to say that it would have been better as a shorter film - particularly people who hated it - and while i understand where that idea is coming from i actually disagree.

(long as hell)

people who disliked skinamarink for the most part cite the long, "empty" shots between relatively little/mediocre action as the reason that the film didn't work for them. and i actually agree with that last bit, i think that the scares in skinamarink are kind of badly done*. they're just the sudden movement + loud noise combo, if they were standalone they would suck. and the first point isn't technically wrong either! i would bet like 50-60% of skinamarink is just still shots of dark hallways with film grain. and i'm going to make it clear that i have no problem with people who see the film this way. if you hated skinamarink that's perfectly fine and you aren't 'missing something' that could magically make you like it.

however, I do think that making skinamarink shorter would actually DECREASE the quality of the film. Heck, the short film that kickstarted the creation of skinamarink, is about 1/3 the length, and about 0% as scary. is it well made? absolutely. is it interesting and worth the watch? very much so. but scary? not in the damn slightest. and that's why the length of the full film is important, because when the action of the film is condensed it removes the truly unique thing about Kyle Edward Ball's style as seen in the bitesized nightmares and Skinamarink.

i'm a pervert for this type of film so i am of course highly biased but the thing that skinamarink does is kind of like the allegory of the cave. in the allegory of the film you the audience are expected to be affected by the suggestion of the film rather than its direct contents, in a really extreme fashion. this is a relatively unique way to present a film, and i personally think Ball is really very good at building a successful atmosphere for this type of device, and i hope that he makes more films like this in the future. BUT the issue of course is that because it relies so heavily on the audience being able to essentially scare themselves, if you the viewer can't do that, skinamarink immediately falls flat on its face. if you look at each action scene in isolation it becomes fairly obvious that they're all... a little silly. the formula is pretty much just ack! something is weird! and suddenly it jumped at the camera! excepting the ending which is 3x speed settings of the same thing. and that's fine, but not showstopping or anything.

most horror that utilizes 'jump-scares' tries to build up to it of course, but skinamarink almost literally gives you nothing to work with except for the knowledge that something is going to happen... eventually. and for me that worked really really well! i was literally frozen in fear! it took me around 10 minutes to be eaten alive by the damn film! but for someone who that doesn't work on, its not going to work at all. the film will genuinely be boring and the audience member who walks out or says that is was a dud isn't actually missing anything - skinamarink is just a film that relies so heavily on its one aspect that the rest of it crumbles if that doesn't land.

skinamarink was made (intentionally or not) to appeal to a very, very specific type of audience, and pretty much ignores anyone else. if skinamarink were more like Heck it would definitely appeal to more people, but also would have been a significantly less interesting film. this is also why i get a little annoyed at people who act like skinamarink fans are 'snobs' or that people who didn't like it are 'missing something' because it isn't actually a particularly artsy film in story. reading an essay about the themes isn't going to make the film experience scarier (but would be a fun read, mostly) its just that the film works best with people who can scare themselves out of going to the bathroom at night.

genuinely, if you watch 20 or so minutes of skinamarink and you aren't enjoying it, leave. it won't get better** and it's not worth wasting your time on an experience you really won't enjoy just because you feel like you have to. if it sucks hit the bricks man

(i would love to re-watch with a staunch skinamarink hater so we can discuss the different pieces of it tbh... there's so much to talk about in the structure here)

i adore the empty skinamarink shots because they demand you fill them yourself with only the little paper towel ghost they gave you to work with it's awesome. but also sometimes you would prefer the movie give you at least a bedsheet lawn ghost instead.

*the action moments are some of my least favourite scenes, and i genuinely think that the toy phone moment could have been removed entirely. it's not good...

**again, not saying its bad to dislike skinamarink! it also might improve for you but like. don't let people force you to sit thru paint drying for 16 hours part two just bc it could get good later

[clowncollectr]

Arknights - Everything between us, as it should be (Liang Xun / Lee) - Chapter 1

Rating: G

Word Count: 2314 (this chapter), 28397 (whole story)

Summary: It’s Liang Xun’s second time visiting Lungmen. The circumstances are much better compared to last time. There’s no rush. Familiar faces, new faces. More happy memories to join the old ones. Between him and Lee, things are finally as they should be.

Notes: This is a direct sequel to I want to see you. I need to see you. so please read that one first if you haven't! And for the people that have read it, I had a little bit more fun with this one so it's more silly but hopefully something people can still enjoy :D

AO3 Link

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

__________ Chapter 1: Welcome back It was obvious that neither party cared about eating.

Both of them poked at their food, taking small bites here and there. The decision to go to a restaurant was just an excuse to sit down and talk. They had to get away from Lee’s office, where one of the children overhearing was all but guaranteed. It was best to leave them out of this kind of thing. Yet despite going to this place specifically to talk, neither of them had said a word to each other since they stepped foot inside.

Normally, this was fine. They’ve known each other for a long time. A period of silence wasn’t uncomfortable. But this time, it made Liang Xun anxious. His friend was currently looking at him with stern eyes and a not so friendly expression.

The first time he had come to Lungmen, it was to right his wrongs. He thought he had been successful in doing that. This is only his second visit to this place. So why does it feel like he’s in even more trouble than the first time?

There was a dull clank as the sound of chopsticks on porcelain reached his ears, shortly followed by a gruff voice. “So? Why are you here?” the other man finally asked, crossing his arms.

Liang Xun’s not exactly sure what’s put Lee in such an inhospitable mood, but this kind of pressure is nothing to him. He’s grown quite accustomed to dealing with disagreements and hostile environments. Those things were commonplace in the world of politics, and oftentimes there would be political opponents who stared at you as if they wanted you dead. From Lee, it’s a little scarier but he wouldn’t have survived his line of work the way he has if he was so spineless.

So Liang Xun simply took another bite out of his meal, sipped on his drink, and replied in a casual tone. “I came to visit.”

Lee narrowed his eyes, clearly dissatisfied with his answer. His arms were still crossed and he had stopped touching his food completely. “You’ll need a better excuse than that. You’re supposed to be at the capital right now. If you can’t tell me, like that time in Shangshu, fine. But at least give me a better reason.”

Hearing those words surprised him. Lee’s upset with me because he thinks I’m lying to him? But I really am here to visit though.

It was true. Obviously it wasn’t easy. He had to fight for it. It wasn’t just a matter of convincing the higher ups to let him do it. He had to make sure there was no way they could say no. In terms of work, Liang Xun was ahead by about a month. Everything under his jurisdiction was currently waiting on another party before he could proceed to the next step. The people who saw things at face value no longer had a reason to deny his request for leave. And the people higher in status than that, the ones who knew to look further, understood that refusing him was a bad idea.

He said he would visit. So he’s here now. It would be great if he and Lee could have a close relationship similar to what they had in the past. Liang Xun had learned from his last visit that his friend felt the same way. He had assured Lee of many things at that time. But the measure of a man’s worth is not his words but his actions. Although speaking of assuring Lee…

Liang Xun’s eyes darted up to look at the carp. It would be best to settle this misunderstanding now. He’s had enough of creating those. He repeated himself, hoping that Lee could sense the sincerity in his voice. “I really did come to visit. You can contact whoever you want if you don’t trust me. But you know I don’t like to lie about these things.”

Those words seemed to placate him and the tenseness in the carp’s shoulders softened a little. Unfortunately, Liang Xun’s relief was short lived as only moments later, Lee seemed more upset than before.

“You DID NOT leave the capital just to visit me.” he said in a way that clearly conveyed his disbelief.

The Kuranta held back a sigh. This person thinks about other people too much. He didn’t care to argue about it, so he just said what was on his mind. “And if I did?”

Lee said nothing but continued to scowl at him. However, there’s no sting to his anger at all. Liang Xun doesn’t want to say it, but rather than being intimidating, the Lung’s reactions were starting to fall into the realm of…endearing? Or maybe flattering is a better word. Either way, it’d be wise not to say it out loud.

Regardless, the point was that it was a senseless argument. He was his own man and he could do whatever he wanted. If he decided that he preferred spending time reconnecting with a friend in an interesting city over signing another document for the hundredth time, who has the right to stop him?

“I’m already here. The vacation time’s been processed. Might as well make the most of it. Or would you prefer that I figure out my own way around this city?"

Lee shot him another annoyed look. Mostly, he was frustrated from knowing that his opponent had beaten him. Stubborn bastard. Most people think that you’re a saint, but I pray for anyone who’s ever had the misfortune of getting in your way.

He knows there’s no point getting hung up over it. Liang Xun was right. He was already here. And considering what they had talked about last time, it was hard for Lee to say he wasn’t happy to have his company. He couldn’t deny that he was slightly disappointed during the first visit when he learned that Liang Xun couldn’t stay for longer than a day.

After a long sigh, Lee’s expression softened, as if all the negative emotions had been released by breathing out. He finally took a bite from the food on his plate, chewed, and swallowed before speaking again. “How long are you staying this time?” “Honestly, several weeks if I wanted. But of course, I don’t intend to wear hospitalities out. I’ll leave either when the time is right or if I’m no longer welcome.”

“Several weeks…” Lee’s eyes looked down as if he had just thought of something. Suddenly, he got up and leaned towards the table, trying to get a better look at the person sitting on the other side. The frown from earlier returned. Lost weight, tired eyes, and skin that’s lacking color. As expected, once you get a better look at him the signs are obvious. Lee groaned and sat back down.

“I’m going to be busy for the next few days.” he said candidly. “Busy?” “You’re welcome at my place. But it’s not luxurious like your estate at all. I can also make arrangements for you somewhere else if you prefer. Either way, I won’t be able to show you around until a couple days from now. Just rest until then.”

Liang Xun breathed a sigh of relief and smiled softly. This was his friend extending the olive branch out to him. A declaration of peace. “That works. And your place is fine. To be honest, the nice clothes and furniture you saw around me. Those are more so things that came with the position rather than my personal taste. Thank you for having me.”

By now, their food had gone cold for sure. It’s a good thing they didn’t come for the food.

__________________

This time, he had sent him a letter in advance before traveling to Lungmen. So his visit shouldn’t have been a surprise. Although that didn’t stop Lee from doubting his reasons and taking him out for lunch (actually an interrogation) the moment he arrived. That also meant his presence shouldn’t be a surprise to the rest of Lee’s agency. Still, he was a little worried. He’s not quite sure what the agency members think of him now, but they’re Lee’s loved ones so it would be great if they got along.

When Lee opened the door to his home, it was Waai Fu who was the first to greet them. She seemed to be in a good mood as she ran up to them with a quick bow. “Uncle Liang! Uncle Lee! You guys are back. Oh, these are all of Uncle Liang’s things. Is he staying with us?” Lee nodded in response. “Yeah. We have a spare guest room anyway. And it’ll be more interesting that way, don’t you think?”

Waai Fu nodded back, seeming to have no complaints on the matter, much to Liang Xun’s relief. But a second later, she walked up to him with a concerned look on her face.

“Uncle Liang…”, Waai Fu rubbed her arm looking a little embarrassed, “how’s your hand? Is there any lingering pain anywhere?”

He looked down at his hands, a little confused, before remembering the incident from last time. Right. He’d forgotten all about it because honestly, he felt that he had probably deserved it at the time. Now, seeing that she still felt guilty about what happened, he reassured her with a small smile. Lee was right. She really is a good kid. “I didn’t even remember it until now. I appreciate your concern, and I’m happy that you’ve grown up to be the type of person who will stand up for others.”

Waai Fu’s embarrassment didn’t go away, but at least it was there for more positive reasons now than guilt. A heartwarming interaction between the two. Lee, who had been watching them, wanted to say as much. But before he could, another voice joined in.

“I overheard. You have a guest staying over, boss?”

It was Hung who was making his way down the stairs to the living room, where everyone was standing. Like Waai Fu, he walked up to Liang Xun and gave his greetings. But unlike her, he didn’t have much else to say. Last time this guy visited, he was a fine guest, even if he gave off the impression of being a little too serious all the time. Not to mention he was his senior. Anyone Lee trusts this much is probably a good person. He’s sure his boss will be happier with this person around. That was a good enough reason for him to stay.

They were still missing one person, but Lee suggested that they go ahead and start moving their guest’s things upstairs. All of them were in the same building at the moment. They would run into him eventually. With everyone’s help, it didn’t take long for the group to get Liang Xun and his things settled in the extra guest room upstairs.

The moment they finished moving everything, as if on cue, Aak was seen stepping out of the upstairs bathroom. He was looking down at the phone in his hands as he closed the door behind him. But as soon as he looked up and saw the crowd in front of him, a look of complete disbelief manifested on his face. “What is this guy doing here?” It was definitely a departure from the polite greetings Liang Xun’s received so far.

“I told you three ahead of time that he was visiting.” Lee responded to him, frowning. “Yeah, like the city. He’s moving in?!” “Why not? It’s safer for him. It’s no good for someone of his status to be wandering around alone. Is it a problem?”

Aak narrowed his eyes but didn’t argue back. All he did was head downstairs, mumbling “It isn’t. So long as he doesn’t cause any more trouble” as he passed by everyone. Once he was gone, Lee gave Liang Xun an inquisitive look as if to ask ‘What’d you do to piss him off?’ Liang Xun wasn’t exactly sure. It could be that he simply hasn’t been forgiven yet. He hadn’t exactly made a good impression the first time they met. It was unfortunate, but there was nothing he could do about it except improve everyone’s opinion of him. Lee saw the dejected look on his face and spoke up to reassure him.

“Ah well, he is the skeptical sort. And he’s not too fond of authority figures so that’s probably not working in your favor. Although he’s telling the truth. He won’t do anything so long as you’re not causing trouble, which I doubt you will. Oh, and don’t accept any food or drinks from him. But enough of that.” Lee clapped his hands together, signaling the end of their current topic before continuing.

“I’m sure you’re tired. We’ll leave you be. Dinner’s at 8. You’re always welcome to join us. Or if you want to rest more, I’ll put the leftovers in the fridge for you.”

The Lung turned around and headed for the door, urging everyone else to do the same. “Ugh, guess it’s time to go back to work. Ok everyone, out of Master Liang’s room. We need to provide him quality home service so he writes us a good review.”

Liang Xun watched as his friend lightly pushed everyone out the door before turning back to give him a quick wink and wave. Then the door was shut. He couldn’t help but smile a little. Even after all these years, some parts of Lee haven’t changed at all. He’s still someone that acts like he doesn’t take anything seriously, but if you’re paying attention to what he’s actually doing, he’s surprisingly responsible.

Even as the fatigue from travel and overwork started to set in, and Liang Xun had to put aside his things so he could rest, he quietly thought that his efforts had been worth it.

[abyssruler]

The traveler is sick of those horny immortals lol. Imagine one quest being babysitting the kids just so these archons can bang their hot milf wife. Would Xiao count as Zhongli’s kid, too? Oh, and Scara being all uwu with his scarier sister is just *chef’s kiss*

Liyue legit going bonkers after each dragon baby???? Yes. Birthdays? National holidays. And then Zhongli fakes his death and there’s talk about maybe one of the kids taking on geo daddy’s position or something. So much potential for drama! How would they make the kids keep the secret? With a lot of struggles. The adepti showing up to bestow gifts on each dragon baby like the three good fairies from Sleeping Beauty.

Ei just vibing with her wife. Chilling while fondling each other and making out. So fun. So cool. Nothing to stress about here. Occasionally taking out their kids on a family outing with Scara being the cutest eldest child that he is. Like. Let them be happy!!!

Venti literally sobbing in Angel’s Share because he was NTR’d by two archons and Diluc just goes ????? every single time until Venti shows up with the rest of them and their kids. (Venti can recognize Reader anywhere anytime because he knows that ass better than anyone.)

I just mhmmmhhnnnngg this AU HAS ME BY THE THROAT

YES YES YES TO ALL OF THIS!!

zhongli’s kids would definitely have their eyes on the geo archon seat after he fakes his death. they can’t have scara getting all the glory of being the only sibling who’s an archon. zhongli suggests they make a tournament - whoever manages to stay awake until zhongli ends his lecture about the responsibilities of ruling liyue and going through its entire history and culture wins. none of them last an hour. the seat of the geo archon remains empty up to this day. fun little fact tho! zhongli didn’t tell them his plans to fake his death so they all thought he actually died. they were on the verge of tearing down liyue until you appeared and said ‘it’s a prank!’ they also help the adepti and the qixing in fighting osial!!

xiao is the honorary brother that scara refuses to acknowledge bc it would mean he’s not the eldest anymore. he half-raised those kids bc god knows their parents were too busy banging each other and spawning more of them. scara is actually a really good ruler!! the raiden shogun balances his softer side. xiao, scara, and raiden shogun basically half-raised their siblings. they bonded over it <3

AND VENTI LMAOO he would lament to diluc and the traveler about those two archons who “seduced his beloved priestess.” at windrise when venti’s telling traveler abt morax, he says something along the lines of “oh, and don’t trust that old geezer too much he’s a backstabbing little bitch who stole my wife.” traveler actually has a very different experience in this au. mostly bc traveler has to be the mediator whenever the three archons start complaining about the other ‘hogging you all to themself’.

venti arrives in mondstadt during the windblume festival with three other people and a boatload of other people who suspiciously look like a mix of their features. it’s better to not ask anything. jean didn’t ask to host that year’s festival with two additional gods and the high priestess herself who’s been quiet for centuries until now. oh, and now the electro archon is here in a grumpy mood, asking why they didn’t invite him over. um, probably because you have a whole country to rule? jean thinks it’s time for a vacation.

on a more serious note tho, their decisions could create a huge succession war on liyue. each kid fighting to become the geo archon. it could replace the inazuma archon quest since the traveler wouldn’t really encounter much problems there with scara as the electro archon. maybe scara gets involved at the succession war at some point as the eldest and the traveler gets dragged along. reader, ei, zhongli, and venti are all just watching and enjoying their retirement. it’s only a matter of time before the succession for the anemo archon’s position was put into question. luckily for them, venti doesn’t have kids with you. yet.

traveler: your kids are killing each other!

them: oh, they’re play fighting how cute :)

[scullysflannel]

☕️ not really a topic but i would LOVE it if you try to convince someone who has not seen a single episode of x files (me) to watch x files

thank you for this dream assignment. I’m unhinging my jaw now.

Mulder and Scully aren’t like their reputations. they get talked about like these big ideas—the Believer and the Skeptic—but they are so not dry or one-dimensional or anything else that you might be expecting. they’re the most human characters I’ve ever seen on screen. Scully is curious and earnest and so eager to succeed, but she throws away her definition of success to do the right thing (and because she’s a little rebel. I’m not spoiling anything beyond the first few minutes of the pilot to say that she’s assigned to Mulder to spy on him, but she likes and respects him too much to do it). Mulder is hardworking, kind, restless. so idealistic it looks selfish. he sees his lost sister in every victim. he has trouble sleeping, and I love that it’s not part of the plot. it’s just part of him. some procedurals don’t like to go home with the characters at the end of the day. The X-Files feels like it’s always going home with Mulder and Scully, even when they’re on the road.

every good thing about the show goes through them. that’s the whole point of the story: you think the truth is “out there,” but it isn’t—it’s in other people. and that might sound sentimental or obvious, but The X-Files makes you feel how heavy it is to love and be loved. a lot of Mulder and Scully’s connection is unspoken. and yes, sometimes that gives them communication issues, which I personally think is very sexy and interesting of them, but it’s also so powerful. here are these two people whose job forces them to question everything about the world, but they don’t question each other.

I know I’m getting very Always Sunny conspiracy board about this, but nothing else feels like The X-Files. it’s a mood at the highest level. the whole philosophy behind the show is that knowing there’s a monster in the shadows is scarier and more interesting than seeing that monster. the most powerful things are the ones that can’t really be understood or explained. it’s the same with Mulder and Scully. Chris Carter, the creator, fought so hard against making them romantic, but the joke is on him for a lot of reasons, like (1) he cast David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, who have more chemistry than anyone else on this sad little planet and who like kissing for fun, (2) nothing is more romantic than an intellectual partnership between equals based on trust and mutual respect, and (3) the more he refused to define their relationship with words, the more powerful he inadvertently made it, because, again, the most important things are too big for words. it’s like the show respects Mulder and Scully’s connection too much to try to explain it.

The X-Files made me realize how sick I am of bickering on TV. a lot of shows want us to think that love looks like a little boy pulling a girl’s hair on the playground. but Mulder and Scully have a friendship between adults. they like each other. I know I literally just went on about how their relationship is so powerful it transcends the bounds of fiction etc., but it’s not stuffy. there’s a fun little kernel of madness and codependence at the center of their relationship, which I love because I love watching women in fiction pick their own poison. and Scully’s is Mulder. they’re a little bit mutually destructive with each other, but they’re even more self-destructive on their own. it’s compelling.

shifting to a different corner of my conspiracy board. Mulder and Scully are as great as they are because The X-Files understands exactly where they fit in the world of the show and what brings them together: their shared integrity in the face of the FBI’s manipulation. The X-Files is really about the abuses committed by the government; the villains are men in suits who would do anything to hold on to the power they feel slipping away. this show can go hard when it wants to. I can’t and don’t want to absolve it for being written and directed almost exclusively by white men, which comes through in all kinds of toxic ways. but as far as cop shows go its perspective on the world holds up impressively well—better than shows that are on right now. I can think of a hundred ways The X-Files could have been a better version of itself, but every other show still wants what it has. 

even when The X-Files is bad it’s good. sometimes the frustrating things about it only make it more interesting. it’s a show that draws you in; it makes you part of the process of interpreting what’s happening and assigning meaning to it. there wasn’t a writers’ room for the writers to communicate with each other (a concept), which means the story can sometimes feel fragmented, but that also gave the show the capacity to look at Mulder and Scully through a lot of different lenses, which ultimately only makes them more vibrant. they can fit into a comedy or a tragedy or a thriller. they can be unbearably sentimental one week (or one scene) and unbearably withholding the next. but that’s real. people are inconsistent. it also makes it possible for the monster-of-the-week episodes to keep getting better and more inventive even as the mythology starts to fall apart. the great standalone episodes are like short stories, and even the worst ones have Mulder and Scully.

I don’t find The X-Files scary in a jump-scare kind of way; it’s cozy, and it’s got a powerful sense of wonder at the the world. but it does get at the creeping horror of realizing the world doesn’t make sense. what makes the story hopeful is that Mulder and Scully keep trying to make sense of it anyway. they tear down everything they thought they knew because the comfort of a lie is less important than the truth. I just love that the little grey men and the UFOs and the tractor beams all look exactly like you’d expect them to, but belief still isn’t easy. it’s not a show about what exactly real-ass aliens might look like. it’s about how the truth can be really simple and really hard to accept at the same time.

[klug]

these guys are technically on my toyhouse but I never remember to update it and not everyone uses toyhouse. Also some of these characters don’t even have refs/blurbs yet, so quick primer on my extended puyo fan universe freaks (based mostly on the aruka civilization from fever 2)

Amalthea (she/her): the “”proto-Amitie””. Unfortunately I don’t have too much of her personality fleshed out but she’s a healer that’s part of a family of religious leaders in Aruka. her family are considered to be descendants of the moon goddess that the people in Aruka worship, so they’re highly revered, especially the women. Her expertise in primarily in star-charting (like navigating on open seas) and medicine. She’s refined and well-behaved when she needs to be, but she secretly wants to leave Aruka and explore the world and has a bit of a rebellious streak that her family does their best to cover up. She’s an only child. she’s friends with Seire which leads to the primary conflict of the story. She’s expected to act like a leader for her people, but doesn’t feel ready for the task. She died after summoning a tidal wave to wipe out the town as revenge for what happened to Seire.

Arelate (she/he): Amalthea’s childhood friend from one of the 3 leading clans of Aruka, while she used to be much more of a tomboy in childhood, she now acts as Amalthea’s personal attendant, spokesperson, and bodyguard on occasion. She’s adjusted better to the expectations set on her by her family and society, so she’s more mild-mannered on the surface, but she feels really badly for Amalthea who doesn’t feel equipped to take on the work that’s expected of her. She deals with political goings-on that Amalthea doesn’t want to deal with herself. Since her family were traditionally warriors, she is also skilled in hand-to-hand and magical combat. She’s the one that managed to save the townspeople from Amalthea’s tidal wave, but wasn’t able to save her own friend. She goes on to become Arle’s greatmother in the future.

Penumbra (she/her): The retired head of one of the major clans of Aruka, she was a gifted engineer and architect and has two children: Tempo and Sonata. She was responsible for many of the technological advancements in Aruka, but she retired after creating the magic that is used in tome of sealing as she felt that it would do nothing but bring harm and misfortune upon the town. She lived out the rest of her days quietly, but died shortly before Seire’s sealing, the secrets of the magic behind the tome died with her.

Tempo (he/they): Penumbra’s son and the elder sibling. A talented woodworker and dark magician, but harbored a deep resentment for demonkind after they scarred his mother’s eye and killed his father. A brooding young man who tended to keep to himself, he was deeply suspicious of Seire and secretly kept records of his mother’s magic research even when she intended to destroy all of it. He fled Aruka shortly before the tsunami that wiped them out, taking the 3 unsealing items with him, despite promising to give the last one over to his sister Sonata. Their relationship ended up being strained for a long time, but he went on to become a successful dark mage and is the ancestor of Lemres’ family.

Seire (they/it): A demon from across the sea that settled on the offskirts of Aruka. A recluse who’s wandered the world, they’re rather frightened of humans and seem to have a reptuation of being scarier than they seem (it’s really just the eyespots on their wings making them look larger than they really are). They are friends with Amalthea as she was one of the only people to reach out to them around the time they settled, and they were happy to impart their traveling experiences with someone that had never set food outside of Aruka. Half of their soul was eventually sealed into the tome of sealing and their body remained, forming Sig and Aya as we know them now.

Sonata (she/her): Penumbra’s daughter and the younger sibling. A talented songstress that studied all sorts of magic. A kind woman with an eccentric streak. She learned various demon languages in order to better communicate with them, and while Penumbra encouraged this, Tempo deeply disapproved of it especially after what happened to their father. She believes strongly in kindness, but it got the better of her when she placed too much trust in her brother. She and Weiss managed to escape Aruka but did not go with Arelate to an alternate dimension; rather she and Weiss ended up moving to the area that would later become Primp Town and they settled there together. Sonata founded a school in the area and she is Accord’s predecessor.

Weiss (they/him): A standoffish bookbinder and bookseller that set up shop in Aruka a few years ago. As an outsider, the town looks upon them with a bit of suspicion, and their irreverence for Arukan customs doesn’t really help their case. They’re acquainted with Seire as they’re the only merchant willing to make deals with them.

[beybladefanboy]

Battle Bladers Episodes Rated Based on How Scary They Are

This is half a shitpost and half me giving legit opinions on what I still believe is Beyblade’s most memorable arc. Honestly, just take it with a grain of salt. 1 is not scary at all and 10 is trauma central- I mean scary.

Episode 40: Go Battle Bladers! 3/10

Pretty light episode overall. The heroes spend most of it winning and having fun. It feels like any typical episode before it besides the ending which hints things will get darker in the next episode.

Episode 41: The Serpent’s Terror 9/10

I mean, it’s right there in the title. The feeling of unease and dread this episode provokes is honestly amazing. You can feel that something is off and that uneasiness grows steadily until you’re suddenly hit with the real terror of the situation all at once. Also, this episode ends with Ryuga murdering someone in three seconds flat. This episode is the moment the characters, and the audience, realize that this is not a game.

Episode 42: The Dragon’s Punishment 8/10

Seeing Ryuga essentially murder his former allies, showing not even they will be spared, is pretty terrifying. While it’s not as scary as the battle with Hyoma, Yu’s battle with Reiji is also scary because the audience knows what Reiji is capable of and Yu does not. I’m only rating this one lower than the last one because the tension of that battle is temporarily killed by them cutting away to the others.

Episode 43: The Deck is Stacked 6/10

The main character is lit on fire then frozen to death in rapid succession by a guy who we the audience know will be defeated and killed because of anime rules but is still trying to cling to a hopeless life out of pure desperation. And this is considered “light” by this arc’s standards. (It’s also underrated. It’s also just ridiculously underrated.)

Episode 44: Entrusted Emotions 10000/10

Basically the source of my former snake phobia and many of my traumatic memories from this show. I can’t watch it today without shivering or whimpering at least a little.

Also, obligatory: KENTA SHOULD’VE BEATEN REIJI.

Episode 45: Eagle Counterattacks 8/10

We the audience know Tsubasa won’t win here and when he’s defeated, he will end up like Hikaru. Even as a kid I understood that. So even when the battle was going well for Tsubasa, I found myself waiting in dread for the moment where it all went wrong and that came in the form of Tsubasa getting the life sucked out of him. This episode also gets scarier/sadder after you’ve seen Masters.

Episode 46: Libra Disappears 5/10

Yu getting kidnapped is pretty scary in how realistic it is. The rest though… it’s not as scary as past episodes. Reiji is still pretty creepy but it’s hard to feel much worry for Gingka when he has protagonist disease and the episode is constantly cutting away to Kenta and Hyoma. Pegasus isn’t even physically being broken like the others were. Lame.

Episode 47: Bonds of Steel 4/10

I’m not the only one who thinks they made Reiji too pathetic here, am I? Gingka didn’t even seem to truly struggle with this battle despite it being his last match before RYUGA and again, IT’S STILL BEING CUT OFF BY A SUBPLOT. Ryo vs Doji is admittedly an interesting battle but it’s not scary. The only thing I’d call truly scary in this episode is Reiji turning to stone.

Episode 48: The Truth About Light and Darkness 2/10

This is my least favourite episode in the show. It’s nothing but exposition (some of which is important but it’s still overkill) and the writers patting themselves on the back for an awful abuse-glorifying twist. The only reason it gets any scary points at all is for that scene at the end where Ryuga murders Doji because admittedly, it’s supposed to be scary: it’s Ryuga showing just how little he cares about his supposed allies and how out of control he is. It would be scary if it wasn’t the one thing I cheered Fusion!Ryuga on for.

Episode 49: Fierce Battle! Lion vs Dragon 8/10

Kyoya vs Ryuga is thrilling, even though the audience knows who will win. However, what the audience might not expect is Ryuga being attacked and controlled by his own bey and Kyoya getting the life stabbed out of him. That’s the stuff of nightmares right there.

Episode 50: The Furious Final Battle! 9/10

Ryuga spends parts of this episode still mutated by the dark power and spends most of the battle with Gingka kicking his ass. Then the end of the episode happens and he gets even more mutilated by the dark power. That’s what they end the episode on… I have some mad respect for the people who watched this show as it aired on live TV. Also, Gingka nearly falls off that tower multiple times in both these last episodes. As someone with a fear of heights, that terrifies me.

Episode 51: Blader’s Spirit 8/10

Ryuga spends most of this episode looking like a kind of over the top but still pretty creepy looking monster, constantly being attacked by his own Beyblade, and trying in vain to fight back as he’s yowling in pain… I’m a Ryuga fan if you can’t tell. These episodes hurt. Also, Gingka and Ryuga almost fall to their deaths. Again, fear of heights. I’ll give this one a lower score since it does appropriately end on a lighter note.

[dreamingofaizawa]

Hate To Love You

Vigilante! Eijiro Kirishima x Fem! Reader

Warnings: ANGST WITH NO HAPPY ENDING, brief mentions of violence and alcohol, soft-ish Bakugo

Word Count: 1.6 k

Author’s Note: Y’all this HURT to write and it’s gonna hurt to read (sorry, not sorry) This huts so bad and tbh I wanted to make it a different (slightly happier) ending but I just NEEDED THE ANGST FOR SOME GODFORSAKEN REASON. Legitimately cried while writing this. It’s not proofread, don’t come at me, I wrote this bs in, like, 30 minutes. Anywho, have fun crying.

Enjoy~

*

*

*

Now that you think about it, he’d been acting weird. For months he’d been changing, slowly, but you of all people should have noticed. At least Bakugo hadn’t either, which only made you feel a tad better. But it didn’t help with the guilt, the feeling that if anyone were to keep him from going down the path of villainy it would have been you. Maybe if you’d noticed sooner, if you’d realized he’d been less enthusiastic about being a hero, if you noticed how he began questioning hero society and its morals then maybe Kirishima would be here, graduating with the rest of class 3-A.

You remember the night he vanished six months ago. You’d fallen asleep in his bed that night, after he cuddled you more aggressively than usual. When you woke up he was gone, a note on his nightstand about how he couldn’t become a hero in this society anymore, how he had to fix it from the other side because from inside it was impossible. ‘You can’t think outside the box if you don’t know what the outside looks like.’ He promised he’d return, promise he’d be back to fix the commission and hero society as a whole. You waited for him to return until even Bakugo had given up.

*

***Seven years later***

*

“He made the most wanted.” Your fingers gripped the fabric of your hero costume tight as you strolled down the street for patrol. The blonde broke the news like it was forbidden to speak, like somehow speaking it would make it too real. It wasn’t all that surprising to you, if you’re being honest to yourself. The vigilante Red Riot is now on Japan’s most wanted list. With a sigh, you nodded.

“Just focus on patrol.” It wasn’t worth the distraction or distress right now. Bakugo looked at you out of the corner of his eye, his shoulders tensing just a little.

“You don’t want to talk about it?” 

“It’s not worth the stress, Bakugo. Just drop it right now.” He gave his own sigh before refocusing. It was odd at first, seeing this softer more cautious side to the normally aggressive blonde. But he knew better than anyone how close you and Kirishima were, and he saw what had happened to you after he left. He was there to witness firsthand as you fell into depression, skipping meals, barely sleeping, and when you did sleep it was because you’d exhausted yourself crying. Bakugo was there for it all, and had dragged you out of that swamp. You stuck by each other’s side after that, bonding over a loss and becoming family like you never knew. You hold each other up when you’re too weak to stand on your own. It’s only natural he worries about you.

You’d been trying to hunt Red Riot down for seven years. Even then, you hadn’t been able to even get a glimpse of him. He’s evaded you for seven long years and now he’s managed to get himself categorized into the country’s worst of the worst. Over the years he’s killed countless villains, corrupt businessmen, politicians, heroes, and even those part of the hero commission. He always left evidence of corruption, along with evidence of smaller connected people and organizations for the ‘true heroes’ to take care of while he hunts his next target. 

But he’s still killed people.

“Oi.” You snapped your head over to Bakugo, who had elbowed you. Taking a look around you, you realized you were already back at the agency. You’d completely zoned out and switched to auto-pilot for the rest of the patrol route. Taking a deep breath you looked at Bakugo.

“What is it?” He gave you a look, the one he always did when he knew exactly what happened no matter how hard you tried to avoid it. Still, he didn’t bring any more attention to it.

“The gala. You have your dress yet?” You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. That gala was stupid, you hated it with a passion. It was supposed to be a celebration for another year of successful hero work, but it was only another cruel reminder that you failed to save the one person you loved the most. This year’s theme was ‘masquerade ball’. At least you could be sad behind your mask.

“Yeah, I have the dress. And the mask.” He hummed, nodded, remaining silent until you split off to the locker rooms.

Two weeks later you stand at the steps of the venue, arm looped with the blonde’s as you take a deep breath and prepare for a night of hidden regret and dread and sorrow. You wouldn’t be dancing, only sitting at your assigned table sipping whatever alcohol you could get your hands on, just as you had for the past seven years. And Bakugo sat with you, as always, making sure you didn’t completely break down in the middle of the event and stayed sober at least until the award ceremony was over. Until he had to wrangle a completely wasted Midoriya out of the bathroom, because even Denki and Sero combined couldn’t match his strength when he was using OFA. So you sat alone. 

A tap on your shoulder had you turning to see who dared to bother you in your brooding, your eyes met with a bulky man in a black suit, deep red dress shirt underneath and a full face mask, the same color as his shirt and encrusted with black gems. Brilliant red eyes danced behind the mask, long black hair tied up neatly in a bun at the back of his head. He held a hand out to you, palm up. When he spoke, there was something familiar about his muffled voice.

“Care to dance?” You don’t know what possessed you to take the stranger’s hand, but you felt drawn to him. As you danced you felt yourself leaning into him, the old victorian waltz music making it all feel more romantic. The hand on your waist moved, pressing into your lower back and tucking you into him further, and then he spoke, making your heart freeze in your chest.

“It’s been so long since I’ve held you. I’ve missed you, baby.” Everything felt slower as you looked back up into those beautiful red eyes, the ones you haven’t seen in such a long time, the ones that used to smile at the thought of a certain Crimson themed hero. Those red eyes that now held so much blood and death and violence. Your tears fell freely, your body only able to barely keep up with the man’s dancing.

He’d changed a lot, he’s thicker, more muscular and his hair...he let it grow out and cut off all the red. There was no doubt in your mind he had scars marring his body. And he’s scarier. He’s a murderer, a criminal. He isn’t your Kirishima anymore. A thick, rough thumb swiped across your cheek, wiping away a few of those pesky tears.

“Kiri…” You choked on your words, hands grabbing his suit jacket tight, not allowing him the chance to leave.

“You left me...Why did you leave?” He heaved a sigh, cupping your face.

“I had to, baby. It was impossible to fix things from the inside, it’s too corrupt.”

“But you didn’t have to kill so many people...You didn’t have to leave me...I cried for you for so long…” All you could do was clutch his suit tighter, sobbing as he looked down at you. It was infuriating. He shouldn’t have left. He didn’t have to leave. His eyes flicked to the side briefly before he let you go and he was ripped from your grasp. All you saw was a blur of blonde and a massive explosion before Kirishima was being blasted to the far wall, the paint and drywall cracking around him. 

Suddenly every equipped pro was on top of him, and he was cuffed within minutes. He didn’t even put up a fight, only smiling a sad smile at you, his mask having been lost in the battle. He’s still as handsome as the day he left. You were frozen in place, watching everything happen in a blur of motion. Suddenly Bakugo was dragging him by the collar, dropping him down to his knees at your feet. The blonde said nothing, only held him down and yanked his hair, making him look up at you.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. This was the only way.” You didn’t believe him. Bakugo, now satisfied, yanked his collar again and tossed him at the others waiting to take him into custody. He came back and tugged you into his chest, but you were just...numb. Your body fell limp and he picked you up effortlessly, carrying you somewhere. You didn’t really care where, you just shut your eyes and curled into his chest, wanting to forget the world. 

Kirishima came back, just as he promised, but he’d come back a different man. And now, he’s going to spend the rest of his life in Tartarus. You don’t visit him, even if you wanted to, Bakugo would try to convince you not to. You didn’t need him to convince you. 

In your third year at UA, Kirishima was the love of your life. Now, he’s nothing but a criminal who shattered your heart, and you wish you’d never fallen in love with him.

You used to love Kirishima with everything you had, and maybe part of you still does.

But you hate it with everything you are and everything you will be.

You hate to have loved him.

[luciferloser]

The undateables reacting to a parent MC

 GNMC as per usual

Diavolo

It goes without saying Diavolo already knew you had a child. After all, it was his programme. However, he wasn’t prepared for your toddler to be so CUTE!  As a result, he vowed right then and there that he would protect this tiny human and their parent with his entire being. 

“Actually Lucifer, I think MC and their child should stay at the castle with me.”

“But Diavolo-” Lucifer protested.

“Are you going to oppose me on the matter?” Diavolo teased lightly, knowing Lucifer meant well.

While Diavolo was thrilled to have you and your child staying with him in the castle, you did feel bad for Barbatos, knowing he’d be the one picking up the pieces of the Prince’s latest escapades with his newest partner in crime - your very curious 3-year-old. 

“My Lord, while it’s delightful to see you getting on with your paperwork, I dont think MC’s child is going to be providing much assistance.” Barbatos grimaced, picking up one of the contracts Diavolo was supposed to read over, noticing the small embellishments in the corners that looked oddly like the butler dabbing. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about B! Besides, they’re only drawing on the rejected ones, therefore it’s called recycling. Apparently the humans are big on that nowadays.” Diavolo grinned; chuckling at the drawings taking up most of his study floor.

The butler sighed, questioning just who was more work; the toddler, or the prince supposedly looking after said child. “While I am thrilled to see you two enjoying yourselves, I’m afraid it’s a certain somebody’s bedtime.” Barbatos announced.

“But B I’m not tired~” Diavolo whined, throwing his arms up slightly.

“Pardon me, My Lord, but I actually meant MC’s child.” the butler corrected, raising a brow slightly at the Demon Prince’s behaviour. “But rest assured, your helper will be back again, fully refreshed tomorrow.”

“Ah, excellent! Rest up Kid, there’s plenty more recycling to be done tomorrow.” Diavolo promised, waving to the toddler as Barbatos led them out of the study. This exchange programme was definitely going to be a success.

Barbatos

Barbatos also knew that you were a parent before you arrived at the Devildom. He also knew that the Demon Lord would end up wrapped around your child’s little finger and insist on you moving into the castle. However, what he hadn’t anticipated was that he would also fall victim to your toddler’s charms. For the first week, he went about his duties as normal. However, the real turning point for the usually ever-composed butler was when your little one had asked to make cookies. Sounds like a mundane enough task for Barbatos, right? Wrong.

“Ah ah don’t touch that oven, Child. It’s still hot.” Barbatos warned, scooping the curious toddler into his arms and seating them on the counter in front of him.

“Why do you always call me child?” the toddler huffed, trying their hardest to look unimpressed. However, with their puffed out cheeks and crossed arms, even Luke has looked scarier.

“Well, that’s what you are, no?” the butler jested, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “There’s certainly no doubting who raised you.” he added as an afterthought to himself.

“No I’m not a child anymore! I’m 4 and 1/4 so I’m basically a grown up.” 

“Ah, my mistake, you’re absolutely right. You are grown up. So much so I’d say you’re too big for cookies.” he mused, reaching for the plate of said snack.

“You’re never too grown up for cookies! Besides, Dia eats them all the time, that’s why I wanted to make them today - so you wouldn’t have to work as hard today...” the tiny human confessed avoiding Barbatos’ eyes the whole time. 

At that confession, Barbatos paused. On the outside, he looked as composed as ever. However, on the inside, he was falling apart. While the toddler may not be old enough to create a pact; he was ready to pledge his allegiance to the child right there and then.

“Is that so? In that case, let’s go and find my Lord and show him all of your hard work.” Barbatos smiled gently, helping your child down from the counter and handing the plate of cookies over. A year definitely wasn’t going to be long enough.

Simeon

As an angel from the Celestial realm, Simeon was always around purity and holiness. Naturally, he was overjoyed when he saw the baby that was resting in your arms the first time he saw you outside of classes at RAD because babies are often associated with purity. As part of his kindhearted nature, Simeon was also one of the first to offer his services for looking after your baby if you ever needed some alone time.

“You’re sure you don’t mind looking after them for a little while? I know you’ve got Luke to keep an eye on as well-” you double-checked, even though Simeon was already cradling your child in his arms.

“Of course MC it’s an honour for you to rely on me to babysit! Besides, I don’t think Asmodeus would appreciate it if I made you cancel your spa trip with him.” the angel assured you, grinning softly.

“Ahh, you’re right about that I suppose. Well, if you do decide the little one’s too much for you, Barbatos has said he’s happy to take over for you. I totally get it if you need a break.” you said, pulling your DDD out of your pocket to see the Lust demon calling you.

“I’m sure we’ll be just fine, now go on and enjoy your spa trip!” Simeon encouraged, as he began to close the door. He’s babysat looked after Luke for long enough, one more little cherub can’t be much more work, right?

After closing the door, Simeon laid your sleeping baby down in the Moses basket you’d left. If your baby was going to be asleep for most of the 2 hours you’d be gone for, this was going to be just fine. However, after just 5 minutes, your baby was already excercising their lungs; screaming louder than anything the flustered angel had ever heard.

“Oh dear, come here my little cherub.” with that, he gathered the crying child into his arms once more, beginning to rock backwards and forwards slowly. Just as quickly as the crying started, the screaming soon ceased and the baby began to coo softly; looking up at Simeon curiously.

“There we go, that’s better. I can’t believe something so loud came from something so small!” he exclaimed, moving to place the now pacified baby back down in the basket. However, just as he stopped to lay the child back down, they began to fuss once more.

“Oh? You want to be held? Hm, in that case, why don’t we go on a little adventure around Purgatory Hall?” and with that, Simeon set off on a slow walk around the halls, explaining where each art piece and decorative item originated from; your baby watching him the entire time.

Solomon

Hearing a knock at your door, you called out to the person on the other side, assuming it was one of the brothers. “It’s unlocked!” turning back to the baby on your bed, trying to wriggle their way out of the baby grow you hadn’t quite finished buttoning up yet.

“Oh? Well this is most interesting.” someone mused from behind you.

Spinning around, you were surprised to see Solomon at your door, considering the brothers weren’t very trusting of the white-haired sorcerer. “Solomon! What brings you here?” you quizzed, once again turning to focus on your child.

“I had come over with the intention of taking you out for dinner, to get to know my fellow human exchange student. However, it looks as though you’re a little too busy for that.” the sorcerer confessed, scratching the back of his head.

“Ah, I’m sorry, maybe another day if I can find someone to take care of this one,” you apologised, picking up your 5 month-old and resting them on your hip. “You’re more than welcome to stay here for a while. Whilst it might not be over dinner, we can still get to know each other here?”

“I would love to. Are you sure you’re not too busy with your child?” he queried; taking a seat on the edge of your bed, as he wiggled his fingers to your baby.

Upon spotting the new character in your room, your baby immediately leaned forward, reaching his arms out to Solomon. You glanced at him curiously, nothing he had a slight smirk on his face. “Wow, they took to you even faster than they did to Simeon! Usually strangers makes them hide into me.” you mused out loud.

“Your child has good taste MC. I can already tell we’re going to get along just fine.” the sorcerer declared, grinning at you as he raised your baby up slightly. You certainly had no objections.

[ad1thi]

Bruised, Not Broken - CHP 3

i didn’t forget to update this!! this is for the hate anon i got from someone who called me a retard 😘

//

chapter 3/? || also on ao3

//

Travelling with Toni now she’s awake is achingly different and disturbingly similar at the same time. The last of the sedative wore off while they were still at the motel, but she still insists on sleeping for most of the journey; even going as far as pouting when she finds out that James isn’t carrying an endless supply of the sedative on his person and refuses to knock her out with his fists.

“It’s not like I don’t know what it’s like,” she’d pointed out, and James glared at her until she shifted her eyes to the ground.

“I’m not hitting you Toni,” he replied firmly, “Not now, not ever. I’m not that kind of man.”

“I know that,” she said mulishly, “This is just so that I can sleep. I used to take sleeping pills because it doesn’t come to me easily.”

Despite her many threats that she was a menace to drive with, Toni falls asleep within the first hour of them hitting the road. James chalks it up to the fact that her body has been in a constant state of panic for god knows how long, and is finally learning how to relax.

That being said, the truck isn’t designed for more than one person, so Toni ends up sprawled across his lap in a very similar way, and James learns that when she’s not under the effect of a drug designed to keep her unconscious, Toni moves in her sleep.

James’ libido, which has been asleep for the better part of the last five years, has decided to awaken from it’s comatose state ever since he saw Toni alert and pointing a gun at him, and every single little movement is lighting James up in the worst way. He hasn’t been this desperate to get himself off since he was fifteen and discovering his dick for the first time, and James has half a mind to shrug Toni off his lap and tie her up if it’ll get her to stop moving.

He won’t actually do it of course, because he knows what a big deal it is for Toni to have gone through what her husband put her through and still feel comfortable to close her eyes and rest her head on the lap of a man who looks like James, and James would never do anything to jeopardise that trust, but the thought pops into his head on occasion - when she does something like turn and nuzzle against his thighs; trying to make herself comfortable and accidentally brushing against his half hard cock.

Fortunately, Natasha’s place is only a couple hours away from the motel and when they’re a few minutes out, James manages to gently jostle her awake without alerting her to how tight his trousers have gotten all in one smooth motion.

Toni sits up abruptly, going from sleep to wakefulness in a matter of seconds, but she smacks her lips together, like it’s taking her brain time to catch up with the rest of her body. Her hands move to smoothen out her hair before falling to her eyes, rubbing them gingerly, and she squints at James with a dazed expression.

“Are we here?” she asks, voice raspy with sleep, and James focuses on the road, resolutely not looking at how her tee has rucked up in her sleep, exposing her too-thin waist, “We’re a couple minutes out. Figured you’d want some time to make yourself presentable before you have to meet polite company.”

Toni flushes, and her hands instantly fly to pull down her tee, before running through her hair more purposefully, but she still manages to keep an even tone when she asks, “So Natasha is polite company? Who is she to you? Your girlfriend? Because I have to be honest, showing up at your girlfriend’s place with another woman isn’t going to leave the best impression, no matter how open-minded she says she is.”

James snorts, “Natasha isn’t my girlfriend. She’s someone from a life I used to lead, and I trust her with a lot of things, but my dick isn’t one of them. She’s not polite company either, but I figured a high society type like you would care about stuff like how you look.”

“I stopped caring about how I looked when I was 17 and I realised that men cared more about my boobs than what was over them,” Toni says with a huff, and James notes silently that she doesn’t deny she’s high society, “and by former life you mean?” she gesticulates a gun with her hands; eyes going wide when he nods in confirmation.

“Yeah doll, she’s an assassin, just like I used to be,” he says in an amused tone, “but don’t let her fool you; she’s more bark than bite. She looks a lot scarier than she actually is, which is par for the course in this line of work.”

“But she still kills people for a living,” Toni points out, “so she’s got some bite.”

“ ‘Course she does, why do you think I don’t let her near my dick? She’d leave little bite marks all over it.”

Toni lets out a surprised laugh, and James fights the urge to preen, because that was the point of the comment. In reality, he’s fallen into bed with Natasha more times than he’d like to count, and they were working towards something, before James cut his losses and ran the other way completely. It’s a gamble, taking Toni to see Natasha knowing that she might turn them away just to spite him, but James has to believe that she won’t - if only for Toni’s sake.

Toni cranes her neck, as if Natasha’s place will magically appear on the otherwise empty road if she stares hard enough, “So how far out are we?”

“It’s just down the road,” James promises, and sure enough, after a couple of minutes, a completely unassuming house creeps into view, at the end of a completely unassuming road.

“Somehow I wasn’t expecting something,” Toni gestures vaguely with her hands, “more. This is so normal.”

James honks once as he turns into the driveway, and then twice more in rapid succession; letting Natasha know he’s here. “That’s the point doll,” he says as he’s changing the gear into park, “Assassins are supposed to blend in.”

Toni wrinkles her nose like she wants to say something to counter that but can’t think of what, and James is saved from further conversation by Natasha opening the door, hands on her hips as she gives him a speculative look. James gestures for Toni to wait in the car, and jogs up to the door, stopping a couple steps in front of Natasha.

“Bucky,” Natasha says evenly, “Fancy seeing you here. Felt like making your mortgage payment in person this year? You didn’t have to.”

“You know that’s a direct debit,” James says back with a bite in his tone, internally cursing when Natasha’s eyes flash, “That’s not why I’m here.”

“Then why are you here?”

He moves to the side so that Natasha can look over at him at Toni, who wiggles her fingers awkwardly when she realises they’re both looking at him, “I’m here about her. Your new boyfriend’s got a case, and she’s the wife.”

Natasha looks at Toni in the same way she looked at James, speculative and betraying nothing. After a couple of seconds, she shifts back and gestures to the inside of the house, “You might as well bring her in. Don’t want people talking.”

James deigns to bring up the fact that there’s nobody else here for miles, “She doesn’t know about us Natasha. She doesn’t know what this place represents, what you represent. Can I trust you to keep it that way and not say anything?”

Natasha gives him a saccharine smile, “What’s there to say?”

tbc

tag-list: @favreaus, @lovelyanthony, @the-pasta-monster, @warmachinesocks

[sliceofsky]

introducing : cary o’hare

〔 scott foley, 49, cis male, he/him ) cary o'hare was seen listening to “ just haven’t met you yet ” by michael buble. cary is the town’s weatherman and known to be bubbly & insecure

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚜

full name ~ cary michael o’hare birthday ~ OCTOBER / 15TH / 1971 job status ~ employed as a weatherman at the local news station relationship status ~ (currently) single orientation ~ gay (closeted)

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚒𝚘

tws for : strained family relationships , homophobia , discussion of sex

cary o’hare was the first born child of the upper-middle class o’hare family, named after his mother’s favorite movie star. it was one of the rare concessions at the o’hare patriarch gave to his mother, and he’d never let her forget about it.

from a young age, cary was the picture of raw charisma. grocery store trips took forever, with his mother being halted at every aisle by enchanted older women who wanted to catch a glimpse of the adorable baby cary. his cuteness almost made up for how busy his mom was at all hours of the day, especially when his younger sister became cary’s irish twin, born a little over 9 months after cary was.

his younger sister becomes the bane of his existence as soon as they’re both conscious enough to get on each other’s nerves. they’re close enough in age that the competition is always there, fueled by the teachers, friends, and extracurriculars that they share. they found their niches soon enough: cary was good at sports, while his sister was good at dancing (which elementary-age cary would vehemently insist was the exact OPPOSITE of a sport). their father would go to cary’s games, but not his sister’s recitals, a fact that he accepted without much thought. 

cary’s world, until middle school, was very small. the only people on his mind were him, his family, and his ever-shifting cast of close friends. there wasn’t much room in that world for insecurity or introspection, not when his biggest issue was the occasional fight he and his sister would get into over who’s turn it was on the remote. this all changed when cary was introduced to a fact about himself that made the world so much scarier: people were talking shit about him behind his back. it was the little things, of course- a comment about how stacy from english told someone who told someone who told someone that she thought he was short, or hearing a rumor about himself filter through the grapevine. it was startling, and cary reacted in kind, putting much more thought into his everything. he began to think about the way he dressed, and the way he smiled, and the way that when he answered questions in class, people would remember whether he got them wrong or right. 

suddenly, nothing was more important than his image. he wanted to smell nice, but not too nice, or else his dad would make some mean spirited quip about his son being fruity. he also needed to date girls, but not too many girls, or else they’d think he was a jerk. it was a careful, obsessive balance that he kept, one that dictated everything about the way he acted. 

against all odds, his mission was successful. he was generally well-liked. he had middling grades, and he wasn’t especially happy, but things were working. even the fact that his parents still picked his closest friends based on whether or not mr. o’hare liked their parents couldn’t break his stride. only one thing could truly break his stride, and that was the events of sleepaway camp, the summer before his sophomore year of high school.

sleepaway camp was fun. too fun. he was fast friends with jonah, who lived in a town four hours away from cary’s. over their three week stay at camp timber lake, cary and jonah ended up doing everything together. they shared secrets, snuck out of the cabin late at night to explore the woods, and on one memorable instance, went skinny dipping in the lake. near the end of their time at camp, things changed, suddenly and without warning- cary would blame the full moon. if you interrogated him, he’d insist that the only reason he kissed jonah was because the moon was full, it was the last night of camp, and they were alone in the woods in the dead of the night. he’d also insist that he didn’t mean anything by it, and that it didn’t mean he was gay. the truth, however? temporary insanity didn’t push cary to kiss jonah, and it wasn’t the reason that jonah pushed cary away with a horrified look on his face. much to cary’s relief, neither of them ever spoke about it. it became a secret just as soon as it became a memory, one that cary would agonize over for years after the fact.

cary walked into his sophomore year of high school with this secret heavy on his chest, paired with a desperate need to distract himself from it. he loaded his plate with all kinds of new activities, but the first one (aside from his regular slate of sports) to catch his fascination was learning to drive. he liked driving. he liked being the friend who knew how to do it, and he liked having jovial conversations with his dad about different types of vintage cars. he was the first of his friends to learn how to drive, and he used it to his social advantage. 

3 girlfriends, 2 state championships, and 1 prom king crown later, cary was a senior in high school, choosing between two football scholarships while desperately trying not to think about the gay thing. he would ask his parents for advice, if not for the fact that his dad would kick him out for even considering “the homosexual lifestyle” while his mom would tell him to “not think about it and move on”. he picks his college based on a coin flip, and keeps his mouth shut.

college is a new beast for cary, who’s suddenly thrust into a whole new world. the only time he’d lived somewhere other than the o’hare house (lovingly referred to as the o’house) was at sleepaway camp, but uni? that was a sleepaway camp where there were no rules. his major was undecided, and his time was mostly spent juggling gen eds, the football team, and the rowdy parties that he was invited to. 

the thing that made him decide his major, funnily enough, was a pregnancy scare. he’d hooked up with a cheerleader, more because she was a cheerleader while he was a football player than for any other reason, and three weeks later, she called him in tears, talking about a late period. on the drive to the doctor’s office to check, they got to talking about how they landed in this position. she admitted that she slept with him because he “reminded her of a weatherman”, and his career path was set. once his former hookup was given the clean bill of “not pregnant”, cary felt free to go along his way, rocking every public speaking class and doing pretty-okay on his meteorology courses, his road in life officially planned.

cary didn’t realize that he was capital g Gay until he actually had sex with a man. the process itself was undignified, beginning with eye contact across a dance floor and ending in a stranger’s bed. he was in a strange city, telling all of his friends that he was sick in the hotel while they were out at a bachelor party. he was paranoid at the gay bar, until he let himself get swept up in the music, and consequently, the spirit of lighthearted experimentation. even if when it happened, he’d already graduated from college, it still counted, right? either way, the end product was the same: him, in a stranger’s bed, trying to catch his breath. the guy’s name was paul, and the sex was unlike anything he’d ever felt before. it was electricity, and nerves, and magnetism, and cary was left without a doubt over the fact that he was exactly what he feared.

the years after that encounter moved in a predictable pattern, a cycle that he couldn’t break. first, he’d find some success in his career. then, he’d find a nice girl and try to make it work. then, the relationship would crash and burn. finally, he’d break again, and allow himself a weekend of gay debauchery. sometimes the cycle would take a few weeks to complete, and other times it would take a few years. this cycle filled up years, and then it filled up two decades, until he was 42 years old and truly exhausted. 

his parents wanted him to get married. more than anything, they wanted him to get married. it was one of the few things his mom and his dad agreed on, and in a way, they bonded over it. the whispers about why the local weatherman was a perennial bachelor certainly didn’t help his nerves, neither did the scores of posts from his high school and college friends announcing marriages and pregnancies. 

the big break from his cycle came in the form of hazel robson, a fellow member of a book club that he joined (he wasn’t super into reading, but the flow of a book club was deeply calming to him). their relationship blossomed over the book club pick of “love in the time of cholera”, following an especially insightful note from hazel. he asked her out to coffee, wanting to learn more about her opinion. their initial coffee date was legendary, their conversation lasting through two cups of coffee and an extended walk in the park. cary loved seeing the world through hazel’s eyes- she talked about literature with such a vivid intelligence that it was practically contagious. cary left that first date invigorated, like he was scores more intelligent just from having been in her vicinity. 

cary couldn’t put into words exactly why it worked so well with hazel, even though he didn’t like her that way. he knew, logically, that he was gay, and that he’d never wake up and love hazel the way she deserved to be loved. emotionally, however? he still kind of hoped that that day would come. their relationship continued to progress, without the dramatic endings that he’d gotten used to. what they had wasn’t going down in flames like his attempts at romance before- it was working. when he proposed, it was at the coffee shop where they had their first date, and he refused to let his guilt show on his face. 

things were exactly how his parents wanted it: he was married to a lovely woman, his career was booming, and the for-fun football team that he was a part of kept him in shape. it should’ve been perfect, but cary couldn’t help but feel restless. incomplete. not even his pre-game catchphrase (”my name is cary o’hare, and we are gonna win this thing fair and square!”) could keep that itch of the unfulfilled at bay. it only got worse when he met the living embodiment of everything he couldn’t have: liam lexington.

his father joked that a wandering eye was a normal part of being a married man, but cary suspected that his dad didn’t mean it like this. liam was bold, attractive, and shameless- cary couldn’t quite tell if he wanted to be him or be with him. he decided on the former, after some meaningful eye contact/hand on knee action at an applebee’s post-game celebration. it escalated into a torrid affair, one that he pointedly refused to talk about with liam or anyone else. 

it all fell apart on his 46th birthday. hazel walked into their house, ready to deliver his birthday surprise, only to walk in on liam delivering his birthday surprise. first there was the yelling, then there was the crying, until finally there were divorce papers. right after they both signed, there was a long stretch of silence, standing across from each other. then, cary broke the silence. “you know, hazel, i know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but i think one day, you and i are going to laugh about this. i know it’ll be far off in the future, and you hate me right now, but… one day, maybe when we’re old, we’ll be sitting on a porch, and we’ll be laughing about what happened.”

the official party line for the cause of the divorce was the question of kids, leaving cary right back at the start. he was a childless divorcee, and no longer his dad’s favorite. he’s gotten back into the routine of being single and publicly straight, something helped by his now-ex wife moving away. now that she’s back in town, and cary is finding less and less reasons to stay in the closet? it’s about to be a wild year for cary o’hare. 

[henry-cavill-baby]

To Study (Insects) │3

Pairing: Clark Kent (MoS) x Original Female Character

Warning: Shitty Parents, Fluff

Word Count: 3k~

Summary: Clark and Connie; 18 and Graduation. 

A/N: Just Enjoy!

Pomp and Circumstance blares through the stadium grade speakers as the high school seniors walk in a steady line across the green football field, each gracefully taking a seat in the white lined chairs as gusts of light wind nearly blow off more than a few white caps. 

The graduating class of 98’ consisted of 79 students, almost all of the girls donning a pair of wedged sandals, seeing as a pointed heel would’ve slid right into the grass, and almost all of the boys wearing obnoxiously colored sneakers.

Principal Johnson tapped the mic that was strapped to the brown podium and cleared his throat, “Fellow Graduates; It is my greatest pleasure to see you off into the world, and knowing that all of you will make the world a better place. Hardships, and tough times tried to keep you down, but you all strode for success… and look where you are.”

Claps echoed the stands as proud parents rooted and hollered for their children.

“I am with deep certainty that each and every one of you fine adults will go off from this school, and follow the dreams you’ve spent years creating. Some of you will go to college, actually, I hope more than some,” he joked.

“And others may travel the world and see all of what it has to offer. And well, I know there are some of you out there who still haven’t the slightest idea on who they want to be. And that’s okay!”

A ripple of chuckles went through the class of graduates, “You don’t have to know what you want to do; you just have to be willing to try. All of you have the will to achieve greatness.”

“You are not defined by the person you used to be, or even the person you will become, but by your actions and how you impact the world.”

The band started up again and the graduates clapped and hollered for the Principal. “Congratulations Class of 98’!”

All of the students leapt up and tossed their caps into the sky, friends hugging one another in celebration and utter happiness. Connie had just stood up when two strong arms slipped around her waist and lifted her sky high, eliciting a yelp of surprise. 

The grip was strong and the biceps she reached down to grasp could only belong to one overly muscled but still baby faced country boy.

“Clark!” Her yelp went unheard as he boisterously laughed and started to make his way out of the crowd of overzealous students, dodging the people engaged in bro fives and girls with running make-up and sobbing over friends. His hands felt warm and large on her stomach. It was like being held by a teddy bear.

From this height above the rest of the crowd, the figures of Martha and Jonathon Kent were easy to spot, and Connie failed to stifle a giggle and the arms holding her sped up in a bumpy jog.

It was more than difficult to keep her hair from flying all over the place as she bobbled along. He could be like an overgrown puppy at times.

 “Guys!” Martha yelled, “Over here!"

Clark stopped short in front of his parents. A grunt left his clenched lips as he set Connie back onto her two-inch wedges. There was no time for her to enjoy being regular height, or say a grateful ‘hello’ to either Kent. 

The thick forearm of Clark slipped around her cushy waist like a slippery serpent.

The smiling face of Martha warmed her heart, “Look at you two,” and her voice was as warm as an apple eye. Being around Martha used to make Connie crave her own motherly affection, but by now, Martha was the best she was going to get.

“Thanks for coming, you two,” Connie gushed. Her own arm wiggled from the space between her and Clark’s body, eventually slithering to cup his waist. They looked like the perfect couple.

“Please, we wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Martha insisted. Reaching into her mint green purse she pulled out a handheld camera. The two graduates groaned, but only Clark spoke up.

“Really, Mom?”

Martha waved him off, “Oh, hush up, Clark. Your mother only sees her babies graduate once, and if that means a few pictures, then you’ll be smiling for every one. Now, get closer you two.”

Any closer and they’d never come apart.

The flash of the camera shined in their eyes, and it was over as quick as it started. Connie smiled until it hurt, and tried to keep any redness from her cheeks as the hand on her back started to rub in a slow circle. Warmth blossomed in her lower back, and god, she could practically taste Clark’s mischievous smile. He knew exactly what he was doing.

“So, are you two up for some brunch?” Martha asked. “Or if you’d like, I could make us something at home.”

Connie bit the inside of her cheek; it was such a bad time to bring it up. 

They were all enjoying each other’s company; they didn’t need her to bring up the family drama that lurked at her home. But it was better to get it done with than avoid it any longer.

“Actually,” She interjected, slightly moving away from Clark’s warmth. “I wanted to ask if you’d run me by my place. I promised my dad I’d drop by after graduation. You know; show him the diploma and all. It’ll just take a few minutes.”

The three Kent’s were silent for a few seconds.

“Are you sure about that, Connie?” Jonathon coaxed with a raised brow. 

She could taste the questioning worry in his voice, but brushed it off and nodded with a thin-lipped smile.

“Yeah, I think he’ll be happy to see me. Its…” she thought for a moment. 

“It’s been a while.”

The ride away from the High School was tenser than fly trapped in a spider’s web. Martha and Jonathon sat in the front while Clark sat in the back next to Connie. 

There was nothing playing on the radio, and all the windows were up. Her hand rested on the middle seat, fingers strumming an irregular beat. Normally, Clark’s hand would intertwine with hers, but his were straining in a tight grip against his thigh.

The tightness of his jaw ripped at her soul. It was no mystery that Clark hated—no, despised Walter Mayfield. Maybe, an emotion deeper than she understood, something darker than disgust and rage connected Clark and Walter. She breathed in deep, trying to find the courage to reach over and hold his hand. But it never happened.

The Mayfield farm was more decrepit than any of them remembered.

Jonathon turned off the car and turned in his seat. “Do you want me to come in with you?” He offered.

It was tempting but she shook her head and undid the old leather seatbelt. It was hard for her to ignore the way Clark was visibly holding himself back from saying anything, and turning the car handle seemed to hurt worse than a third degree burn.

“I’ll only be a second,” she promised, shutting the door and moving away from the car. 

The air smelt dry; drier than the dirt under her wedges. It was thick and felt like it could clog her throat if she breathed it too long. The shining sun blinded her eyes and she kept her head down on the trek to the front door—taking no mind to the even creakier porch steps and missing rocking chair.

The brown door seemed scarier now than ever before. She had no house key; there was no point to having access to somewhere you didn’t live anymore.

Her knuckles rapped against the aged wood with the hand not gripping the diploma, teeth gnawing into her bottom lip as seconds passed.

A crash echoed inside the house and Connie readied herself as the lock turned from the other side. It’s now or never, she thought, standing straight with her head held high.

The door was lurched open with a gust of air, and her eyes widened at the sight of her Walter Mayfield. Time hadn’t been kind to him, and neither had the glass bottles littering the floor. Dirty blonde hair, missing teeth and the look of a crazed man were what any regular person would have seen; but she just saw her dad. 

“Hi, Dad.”

His left eye twitched something ferocious.

“Connie.”

His voice had become rougher than gravel; probably smoked twice as much as he drank. Dirt caked his fingernails and a dried redness smattered the inside of his elbow. He was the picture of being at the bottom, and Connie instantly hated herself for ever coming back here. This was a mistake, she said to herself.

“I finished high school, Dad.” She held up the white diploma for a split second, watching his eyes follow its movement—up and down, “I—I thought you’d want to know.”

Silence hung between the two Mayfield’s; Connie holding her breathe with trepidation, and Walter staring silently. Neither had moved from their positions on the porch, and all three Kent’s were watching from the car window. Just in case Walter tried something.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Aren’t you going to say anything to me, Dad?” she tried to coax an answer from the man she’d once called her father. But he hadn’t been a man in a long time, or ever really. Trying to see past his shoulders into the run down house was the last thing she wanted to do. 

Too many memories—bad ones mostly—lied inside those molded walls.

Then finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Walter opened his mouth.

“Go ‘way, Connie.”

And he shut the door in her face, the slam echoing through her head long after he’d walked away from the last piece of living flesh he had. Hiccups tried to take home in her throat, and a river tried to flow from her honey pot eyes. 

Was there any timeline that she’d imagined where he’d welcomed her with open arms? What lie had made her believe he’d be happy to see her? It was always going to go like these… and yet, it hurt so much worse.

Warm arms—and the scent of chopped wood and the freshness of dewy wet grass on an early warm sunrise—roamed the air around her clouded mind. It was soothing and sweet, to be in the arms of Clark. He enveloped her in his bear like arms and held her close.

It was a space she never wanted to leave. His clean-shaven face found home in the soft sweetness of her neck, and a solemn kiss found her skin. His lips could chase away any demons.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled into her skin, nose rubbing against her warmth. 

They stayed that way for only a few seconds and Clark gingerly turned and led them back to the truck. Each step felt like carrying pounds of cement, but with Clark around, she would never fall.

His strong hands sat her inside the truck and shut the door, running around to hop in himself, grateful to leave behind the Mayfield farm in a cloud of dust.

 It was nearing 9, and Clark was already upstairs waiting in his pajamas when Jonathon rested against the doorway of the kitchen, eyes watching Connie.

His presence visibly scared her, and she jumped—clutching her heart.

“Jesus, you scared the daylights out of me.” Her hip leisurely shut the fridge, two pieces of blueberry pie topped with smooth whipped cream jammed onto one plate.

“Did you need something? Clark and I were going to watch some movies till one of us passed out.”

A beat of silence passed between them, Jonathon eventually clearing his throat. “I’m sorry about your dad.”

“Oh.” That hadn’t been what she’d expected to hear.

“It’s alright, really. I—I should’ve expected it.” The pie plate dinged as she rested it on the cloth-covered table. “I think it would’ve been weird if he wasn’t like that. It takes a lot for people to change, and I just—I wanted…”

“He may not show it, but I bet he’s proud to have a daughter like you.” Jonathon interjected. “Martha and I sometimes wish you’d been ours.”

“I don’t think it would be in my best interest to be Clark’s sister.”

They both let out a breathy laugh. The whipped cream on the chilled pie was starting to run onto the plate.

“There’s something I want to show you.” Jonathon said, stepping from the wall and making his way to the backdoor. “It’s been a long time coming, and there’s no better time than the present."

“O—Okay?” she slowly muttered. “Is this the Kent dead body that you guys keep tied up in the barn?”

He turned and raised a solid brow, urging her to follow him outside. She tried not to think of where they were going; there was no way this could be anything bad. 

This was Clark’s dad; he was the nicest man in town. But as they stalked along the shortly trimmed grass, and the cold chill set into her bare feet, the possibilities flew through her mind.

The thumbnail of her left hand was bitten particularly hard as Jonathon Kent pried open the barn doors, the smell of hay and obstructing her senses. 

Her eyes closed as clouds of dust rushed into the air—no ones cleaned this place in ages—and opened to watch Jonathon reach up for rope hanging from the ceiling.

She gingerly stepped onto the wooden floor and tried not to shiver; it was freezing.  Her eyes followed the rope, hands tugging to open to floorboards just in front of them.

“What’s down there?” she asked shakily, a sense of slight… it wasn’t fear, but a crossbreed between dread and nervousness. They didn’t actually have a dead body, right?

“What?”

“This—“ his finger pointed at the space hidden under the barn, “—is what we found Clark in. He was just a baby with a set of lungs that wouldn’t stop crying unless Martha held him.”

Connie still couldn’t really understand what she was seeing, or what he was saying.

Out of all the things that the Kent’s were hiding—every little town had families with secrets—but the secret being that Clark was from space was a little out there.

“So… Clark isn’t Martha’s?” She looked at Jonathan. “And you two found him in this, 18 years ago?”

He nodded with the most serious face she’d ever seen, but the words spilled out like a floodgate, “I’m not saying I don’t believe you, but you have to know how this sounds. Right?”

“It’s why we’ve never told anyone.” He explained, wiping a hand down his withered face. “We kept this from Clark for most of his life. Martha and I never wanted him to know about where he comes from, but then the accidents started piling up. We didn’t have a choice.”

“You two did your best to protect Clark.” She sympathized.

He stepped down into the hole, and Connie quickly followed. Hey eyes took in the glossy ship, and she found herself reaching forward and placing her palm against the sleek metal. It was cool and smooth, and her palm leisurely moved along to the more patterned area, feeling the bumps and grooves.

 It could’ve easily been mistaken for some type of rare metal, but a part of her was starting to believe that this was a spaceship.

“You’ve kept a spacecraft under your barn for 18 years…” she gulped, “And Clark is…”

For some strange reason—in some deep corner of her brain—this wasn’t that crazy. It wasn’t like Clark hadn’t been different from the other kids from an early age, why he seemed to be bigger and stronger than every other kid in their graduating class.

How he pulled a bus from a river.

“Clark’s an alien.” She whispered into the air, nodding at Jonathon with wide eyes. Her lungs blew out all of their air. “Clark is an alien.”

“Please don’t hold this against him.” Jonathon added. “He wanted to tell you the second I showed this to him, but I told him he couldn’t.”

Her scoff nearly cut him off, “I don’t think I would’ve handled it as well as he did.”

“But you are now.” He grinned.

“Because I lo—“

Because I love him

“I love him, Mr. Kent.” Her hand retreated from the aircraft, and she stepped away. “And nothing can change that.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more certain about anything in my life, and that is that I love Clark, and this—“ she longed to hold Clark in her arms, “—only makes me want to protect him more.”

The silence of night stood between them.

Her words shone brighter than a sunset on a summer’s day, and Jonathon found an itch of smile forming on his face. They both stared at the tiny ship, but Connie dared to reach forward and finger a gleaming piece of metal. 

It was freezing cold to the touch, but as smooth as polished silver. It was shaped like a stake that punctured dry soil, but the top had a strange symbol. It easily popped off of the exterior of the ship.

It looked like an S.

She held it up to the moonlight, “Do you know what it means?”

But he shrugged his shoulders and pulled the lever to lower the barn floor hatch, both of them climbing out to watch the floor close up again. “It was in there with Clark, so I’m guessing he’d have a better idea than me.” 

“How much does he know about where he comes from?”

Jonathon turned back and stared as she rubbed the black tool in between her fingertips. Something felt right about letting her have it. 

He nodded to the barn door with a grin, “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

A beaming smile stretched across her face and she tore through the barn, uncaring of the hay digging into the soles of her feet. 

The doors flew open with a gust of chilly wind, and heaving breaths winded her chest and she looked across the grassy path.

Clark

He hadn’t changed out of his pajamas—his bare feet stuck in the freezing grass while his hands wrung at his sides. The moonlight shined on the space between them, and she ran towards the sea, thrown into its arms and enveloped in its soothing blue. His arms enveloped her like a blanket, tugging her up and off the grass, holding her close.

It truly was the best feeling in the world, to be in Clark Kent’s arms. It was warmer than you’d imagine, it felt safer than you could dare to dream, and it felt like home.

He gently set her back on the ground, still keeping her close, “Seeing as you’re not running for the hills, I’m going to assume you’re taking your best friend being an alien pretty well.”

Best friend, her rational mind snarled, Lies.

“I mean, I’ll admit, for a moment there I was planning to call the feds and demand a place on their alien tasks unit.” She explained with a giggle, snuggling into his arms with a sigh. His warmth chased away the cold.

“Every single time I pictured telling you about this part of my life,” he reminisced, “It never once went like this.”

Her crown rubbed against his soft chest, humming lightly. “And exactly how had you pictured it?”

“I’d imagined there being a lot more screaming.” A nod to the cornfield, “And I’m glad you aren’t trying to run away. I’d hate to have to chase you down.”

A flare of challenge erupted in her gut, and she pulled back to raise a brow at him, “Is that a challenge, farm boy?” 

It would’ve been fruitless to try and escape his arms, and besides, getting smacked in the face with corn was not ideal.

They stared at one another, and their hearts beat in sync.

There was no fear in her soul—her heart—and there was no doubt that this was the same Clark that pulled her from a watery grave, that held her on sleepless nights and whispered sweet words, that gave her a home and a family to call her own. She was his world, but he was hers too.

“I can hear your heartbeat.” Clark confessed as his hands rubbed her soft hips.

“It’s faster when you’re nervous and softer when you sleep.”   

His hands rubbed her shoulders, “When I was first learning to control my senses, Mom told me to make the world small, to find something to ground myself.”

“The sound of your heart helped me hone my senses.” He picked up her chin and gazed into her eyes, “You helped me.”

“I—I didn’t know, Clark.” The right words seemed lost for her, “If I’d known, I would’ve done anything to help you.”

“But you did,” he cut her off, thumb rubbing the cheek under his palm. “You’ve always been there for me, Connie, and I love you.”

“I’ve always loved you, Clark.” She squeezed his tighter, “And not even being a freaky alien baby can change that.”

A squeal of laughter erupted from her throat as Clark lifted her over his shoulder with ease and bolted into the house, laughter echoing across the farm.

 Chapter 4 coming soon!