#nothing of any value
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i wanna draw, i really do, but i've begun feeling miserable anytime i do. what's wrong with me
#i hate feeling like this#but like#how do i stop?#it's not like i'll suddenly stop feeling bad#i wish it were that easy#no matter what everything just looks awful#then i feel awful#this is the one thing people swore i was good at#so now what#i feel sick#i feel tired#i wanna delete everything i've made and burn every sketchbook i've added to#there is nothing to be missed#nothing of any value#so much for not feeling like i wanna die about it#i wanna rip this stupid part of my life out and leave it to rot#it feels like if i don't it'll just continue to rot away inside of me and ruin everything else#i hate drawing#i hate doing it and i hate the end result#i wanna die
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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Seeing one of the Arcane writers admit that she purposely invested little in MelJay, but is constantly on Twitter uplifting others ships (who have yte love interest but whatever) and when asked what she thought about Mel as a character she gave the synonymous "She's girlboss" and nothing else....hmmm. Not only is it incredibly unprofessional but also childish too. But some in the fandom were telling black fans that they were reaching when they said Mel was falling into the disposable black girlfriend trope. Don't even get me started on how, with the Noxus trailer dropping and there being more potential for Mel's story, you still have those specific fans trying to shoe in other characters into her story.
#arcane#anti arcane#anti arcane fandom#mel medarda#mel sweetie u deserved so much better than these whack ass writers animators and fans#funny how people will say meljay is boring but don't offer any explanation why like they just give the generic#“i just don't like het ships” boo pack up that old ass excuse & just admit u ain't have nothing to say#and many who say this carry undertones of racism & misogyny bc they never value either mel or jayce as characters without bringing it back#to other yte characters (viktor) like yall aren't slick#why can't black people especially black women have a black female protagonist that they get to look up to and see be treated equally?#smh 🙄#bet someone gonna be in my comments trying to be like “It's not that serious” well it must be if u came to comment on it hmm? 🤨
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Nothing to see here just steph stealing glances of klay like he’s afraid he’s going to get caught 😃😃 (via namxsj on twitter )
#nba#golden state warriors#dallas mavericks#steph curry#klay thompson#steph/klay#ok first of all oh my god#secondly i need asg week to be NEOW actually I don’t think im capable of waiting til feb#both teams have kinda been floundering (mavs to a lesser extent but still) and I am growing Impatient for the reunion !!#also the buddy hield cycle being proven right for the 4th(?) time. lmao. some of those dumbasses rlly thought they got prime klay back#the victory lapping after beating the blazers jazz pelicans and pelicans was like nothing I had ever seen#especially towards a fucking legend !! like klay fucking thompson !!!!#no one not even pr-trained to high hell steph curry himself could ever convince me that he’s hopeful or even okay with this bullshit#he needs klay. klay needs him. they need each other and always have but it’s looking more and more likely that steph is#gonna go out like kobe while klay is gonna gonna keep chasing the ghost of pre-injury self#that last part felt so wrong to type out because i personally think he’s been everything you could want and more from a guy#who went thru everything that he went thru and#his comeback is probably my favorite comeback story in any sport ever of all time bc it’s such a fairy tale. and it also actually HAPPENED#!!!!!!!!!!!!#ppl talk abt the injuries like they happened to him and then he just disappeared forever like no bitch !!!!#he came back and they won it all that same year !! led the league in 3pm the year after that !!!!!! led the league in ft% the year#after that n ppl still acting like he adds virtually no value to any team that wants to win a chip when in reality that couldn’t be further#from the truth#I wrote it like that because I get the sense that they both look a little lost/confused at times and I can’t help but think that#losing embarrassingly or not they might at least be in better spirits (if nothing else) if they still had each other’s company#oh well. lol#ok I think that’s everything I had and a million sorrys if this post exploded on ur dash i wish I could turn off my stupid sports rpf brain#but I can’t ❤️#wishing every happiness to the two of them tho they’re my babiest girls frfr#nik's rants
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why does every reconciliation fic go like this
#my dc posting#jason todd#red hood#jason todd fanart#ugh i forgot to change tim n dick's skin colours aa i already put my drawing stuff away whatever#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#<- main offenders#no but. jason will be making some absolutely great points#ill be cheering him on like YEAH know ur fucking value good job call them the fuck out dont fall for their shit!!#then there will be one (1) event n suddenly the author pulls a complete 180#all of jason's valid issues n complaints r swept away without ever being solved#at most he's given a few flimsy excuses or justifications#n suddenly hes all happy n dandy w them#like 🤨🤨🤨 what!!!#like nothing changes nobody makes any effort but apparently one sentence going 'omg no it wasnt like that jason 😭' is enough to sweep#everything under the rug#like why have i never read a fic where anyone actually works to change. to right the wrongs theyve done. to apolgoize and do better.#aside form of course jason going 'i see now that murder is wrong i was stupid n angry for no good reason good thing the pit madness has bee#solved/managed better n i have apologized to Poor Little 10yo Baby Tim whom i hurt and traumatized So Badly how will he ever forgive me...'#'fuck my family wtf is wrong w these assholes' 'i killed the joker for like 3 minutes' 'i love you i have no further issues aside from#Teenage Angst which will be cured via being told my anger is disproportional and of course one (1) hug form my Dearest Father'#when will i read someone 'pullin the alfred card' and jason respondin w 'fuck alfred'. he deserves to be an asshole w the way hes treated..#ok ill stop now im just. very done w this stuff
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It is genuinely not surprising that Ashton has such a strong The Gods Are Going To Kill Us take on the situation, given what they specifically have seen and what they have to relate to. They're about two weeks out from 1.) getting done violence onto them by an angel and then 2.) being told they have a bit of a dead thing that the gods tried to kill inside them. Then they go and put a lot of effort into getting that dead scrap to wake up (with disastrous consequences illustrating how incredibly volatile its power is). Then they have their only religious friend blow up in front of them. Then they watch a movie trilogy where the only non-god main character is another earth genasi broken-walking-timebomb whose main purpose on the mission is to explode when the gods need him to. They don't see the Lawbearer weep for her son, they only see the Emissary, a child, crying because he's afraid to die. Then they go to Vasselheim, the city of the gods, and see the corpse of a Titan, the dead thing the gods killed, yanked out of the earth and puppeted by one wannabe god and now desecrated in death by the overconfident followers of all the others. They're making something beautiful out of it, they're living on it, and normally he'd be in favor of that but they don't even know its name. They're building new temples on the corpse of the old world, hollowing it out and starting fresh, and Ashton is a part of that old world. They cannot stop being connected to a power the gods seem to, at best, be willing to weaponize. That would make anyone paranoid; given their background it's impressive that he's not more combative, tbh.
#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#critical role#ashton greymoore#bells hells#you don't have to agree with it for it to be consistent characterization!#you try telling someone with any history with organized crime that a group of immense power and resources might want them dead#or might want to use them for their own ends#and also there's nothing you can do about it and you can't escape because that's just fate#they're going to wriggle! especially if they just tasted what self-determination might feel like#the same goes for imogen honestly#gelvaan seems like a fairly religious town but relvin seems like much more of an isolated loner than the snapshot we got of him showed#house in the middle of nowhere works with animals willing to leave with his weird wife#i do buy that imogen was brought up cut off from local faith based communities and her attempts at connecting with gods were glancing#vague prayers thrown out at whoever she could remember but assigned more value in hindsight
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We all know that the reason why Bruce Wayne isn't religiously Jewish is because dc are cowards, but also because many of the community itself is cowards. I personally believe it comes from a lack of knowledge about what it even means to be religious because most of the community is Christian or culturally Christian. So as someone that would probably be considered not religious by Christians, but Religious by most other Jewish people, I think that Bruce Wayne fits in this section of being Jewish.
Bruce can't go to the Synagogue often because of the whole being Batman stuff, but he still goes on the high holidays when he can. He celebrates with the Kane family as well! And Kate would obviously understand if he couldn't come because she's Batwoman! Give me a Bruce Wayne says Yiddish curses. Give me a Batman that has a bunch of Chanukkiot that are just so pretty because they are rich and definitely have a ton. Give me Batfamily shabbat dinners when they are able to. Rest days on Saturday for the Jewish members when they are more members in the Batfam to make it work (and it being a mitzvah when he does have to be Batman on Shabbat because its a mitzvah to save a life). Give me Mezuzot on every entryway. Give me a Bruce Wayne who inherited his mother's seder plates and actually uses them. Give me a Bruce Wayne that says stuff like kein ayin hara before giving good news! Give me a confused Dick Grayson when Bruce insults him (its actually a compliment, but to ward against the evil eye you will say the opposite of what you mean) and then Bruce having to explain after he realizes that Dick has no idea why he just insulted him. Give me a Batman that follows Jewish values (more than he canonically does)
Just because someone ins't actively involved within a wider community of that Religion doesn't mean they aren't Religious! Or at least don't give me a culturally Jewish Bruce Wayne that doesn't do any of this. Thats just you stripping away all the Jewish parts of him.
Bruce Wayne is Jewish and you can't just ignore that
#The kane family is there from when he is a kid to when hes an adult#meaning they definitely had a hand in raising him#I think its very odd that alfred the bodyguard turned butler of the waynes to have been the one to canonically raise him#while his entire maternal side of the family is still alive and kicking#like guys please come on#and also I think it would be very weird that alfred didn't bring Bruce to his maternal family#that would just be out of character imo#but yeah I think its very small minded to think of being religious as a belief in god and going to church#because that is a very very small portion about what it means to be religious to me#also! I based off the Kane's name origin it would be very likely for the Kanes to be Irish Jews#oh and one more thing#Just because I consider him to be just Jewish doesn't mean that its impossible for him to be dual faith#We have no idea what religion Thomas was#we could say christian#but I like to say thats from Alfred and any christian stuff that the Batfam celebrate is not because of Bruce#but is actually from Alfred and any of the kids that are Christian/culturally Christian#nevermind have another thought on top of this mess#why would Richard Grayson ever be considered christian#press x to doubt#while I know nothing about Romani religious practices and I know that is on purpose from their community which I respect#the community does know that Dick is Romani#meaning he would follow their religious practices#which I think he would follow extra hard after the death of his parents#and there is also the argument that he could be jewish if he was raised in a household that is Jewish and holds Jewish values#but yeah the Wayne manor has only one confirmed christian in it and its Alfred#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#kane family#kate kane
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People findinging out that antisemitism does, in fact, victimize people
#jumblr#jewish politics#antisemitism tw#nothing is more instantly frustrating than the 'jews just want to victimize themselves!' thing#yes actually. bigotry victimizes people. that's why it's called bigotry#honestly this is just me venting about this because i see this way too much#it's even more confusing how much i see it from 'leftists'. you sound worse than my conservative family#it's less that leftism is a set of principles to some but rather that it is an ego-boost i think#it's the aethetic of being a Good Moral Person without any of the work#you won't have to make any uncomfortable reckonings with your own pitfalls#you don't need to worry about what Actual Inclusion looks like because that's not the appeal of leftism#the appeal of leftism is how it props you up#i think in this case this is less a horseshoe theory moment rather it's just that people just...#don't care about the principles they say they have adopted because aethetics are a very attractive set of values#and the people who are hurt most by this is everyone else. it's the jews who won't make a stop in entire cities because they are unsafe#also to make this emphatically clear: antisemitism victimizes people (primarily jews)#this does NOT mean that i am saying someone is like... essentially a victim or they are Cursed or whatever else#recognizing that someone can be victimizes doesn't mean that someone is by character/nature a victim
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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I feel the need to remind people,
There is nobody Jesus is unable to save
I feel it comes up far too often that I am researching a mental illness or behavior or types of people that people will comment how such people will never be saved, never come to Christ
And I honestly think this is an evil thing to say, let alone publicly, let alone where a record of it is kept for all to see for however long the website is running
Do you have any idea where people who are struggling with all manner of things and looking for help are going to end up? On those exact pages. Do you know where they might look for more information when the article/video/etc waxes on about how rare it is for these people to change or find help? Right in the comments.
How dare the people who post this stuff. To take away the only real hope for the lost. To say ‘this is where everyone can find peace for their soul except for you.’ ‘only those good enough can be Saved’
I have seen people mention being in absolute despair because there’s no help for them even though they want to change. There’s no need to make this even harder.
No sin, no mental illness, no habit, no personality type, no mistake, no past is going to prevent people who put their faith in Jesus’s death and resurrection from being Saved, so stop trying to turn them away and discourage them.
#Vio's Personal#Now obviously I don’t assume any of my followers have done this#I just find it infuriating#I should do more about it probab;y#I still remember Years ago when I was looking for help about why reading the bible was something I never wanted to do#(I honestly still struggle about it A Lot but at least I better understand why now)#and someone had mentioned that people who don’t want to read the bible probably aren’t saved#utterly soul crushing#It didn’t impact my decisions or any such but#some comment on there for years and years that they forgot about#And just devastating for no reason#And that’s nothing compared to what people say about some mental illnesses#What value was there in saying that? Would it be worth it if even one person was dissuaded from pursuing the Truth from it?#The things you say can impact people. Act like it
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How much would it cost to see post lov Loudspeaker with all of his scars? I have shiny rocks and seashells
Doesn't take much to convince me to draw Loudspeaker. But give me your coolest rock.
#horikoshi give mic scars challenge#make him cooler >:(#if i had the rights to mha I'd make the Loudspeaker au canon I reckon it'd really add some excitement#I don't keep up with the show any more I only pay attention when Mic is doing something#If he dies I'm going mental because there is no reason in the plot for him to die. I think Horikoshi kills off characters#just for shock value sometimes#like Midnight#done being annoyed. chill again now#his burns were originally supposed to be hand shaped but that was really hard to draw#did anyone notice in the showdown comic that his hair gradually flattened so it wasn't in the Loudspeaker style anymore#to show his return to the light#or did i illustrate that for nothing#i feel like it's not as effective if I just tell you I did it but whatever#imagine if you were in class and your teacher made you analyse the Loudspeaker au#bnha#hizashi yamada#present mic#villain!mic#loudspeaker au#im going to dekaianime do you guys want anything
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Feeling conflicted about the cyberpunk thingy impulse is going for because like yeah it’s a great theme and I like the aesthetics a lot but what I really like most about cyberpunk is the themes of corporate alienation and/or transhumanism etc etc which I know will not be addressed at all and in fact it’s kind of stupid of me to expect that at all from a minecraft series. Does anyone else get that or just me
#this is an issue I’ve been having with mcyt content in general you know. not ragging on impulse specifically#it’s just… I find it difficult to reconcile the quality of narrative focused mcyt content with its complete lack of commentary#should it have commentary? I believe it could if it wanted to. I don’t think it has to#but then you see these genres being… skinned and worn as cloaks#taking the aesthetics and story without any of the meaning behind it#and when it was just Minecraft builds that was expected. I guess it is still expected and I’m being a huge snob#but like. mcyt narrative is so fucked from a quality standpoint. you can’t even have villains who are other mcyters because people#will get mad at them#is that an unrelated issue? maybe. but I don’t think so#idk. mcyters aren’t expected to be storytellers and they don’t need to be#but I see these things happen over and over again and it’s just uncanny to see something that walks like a story talks like a story#but at the same time has absolutely nothing of value to say#it’s very early on so maybe there will be something done with this concept but I doubbbt it. I would be very pleasantly surprised#astro speaks#hermitcraft#not putting this in the impulse tag cause he would be more likely to see it#and I don’t want him to feel like he has to address this at all#it’s more just me noticing a trend
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Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope
PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?
I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me
But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.
Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).
Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.
I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line
from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)
kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.
And then dropping this?
I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.
Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?
The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4
And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:
"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.
He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.
But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.
Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)
(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)
So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p
PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game
as well as absolute banger dialogue such as
Among others <33
And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long
And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.
And that concludes my essay :)
#I so won this#there were so many pictures and quotes I wanted to include but the limit..... :'(#if any of you were wondering I am still as insane about them as I ever was#thank you anon really genuinely and fully this has been a blast#if anyone reads the whole thing....mwah let's run off into the ocean together#or something like that idk but it is appreciated#they are my everything they really are#I'm very enamoured with the ''Cope''#Cope with what? I have nothing to cope with? well nothing wataei related at least#or the ''How do you live with the fact'' yadda yadda#How am I supposed to live with it it's funny i think it's very funny#You really trust what enstars characters say and take it at face value without examining the subtext further? amateur mistake#it's so passionate too anon i admire you#imagine disliking something so intensely you sent a very wordy ask to someone because of a silly post they made#I wish I had that much vigor in me#I mean i'd be too polite to even if I did but still it has somehting admireable to it#thanks to you i got to reread some of my favourite wataei interactions so now I think the last three hours were three hours well spent :)#genuinely thank you for the enrichment#I hope youll have a nice day we might not see eye to eye on this and I'm also objectively better at reading these stories and understanding#the characters but I still hope you'll have a nice day#as good karma or something#I'm currently still on that dopamine high from writing this i think it's obvious#best mood I've been in in ages I love talking about wataei#okay good I'll conclude the tags I've already stretched this post out so far i might as well spare the poor tag reader#but then again if you have read the post this far what's a few more tags to you#I really like the fact that the real bluebird is a dove it's soooooooo#it's good it's really good in the overall context#wataei#eichi tenshouin#hibiki wataru
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I need Mama in my life
#the nipple talk#妮波自由式#no notes just appreciation#eps 6 & 7 subs were ok nothing major worth pointing out#too tired to nitpick and it doesnt really add any value#this one rambles
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So, uh, I might've gone a little crazy last week and came up with a Kanade Concept rewrite. (And made some redesigns of IRL!Kanade and IRL!Hibiki to reflect that.)
SO, for context, if you've been following me for awhile (or just came across some of my posts in the past), you'd know that my friend and I have been playing through SDRA2 for fun and it's around the end of Chapter 3 that I started making posts mentioning certain segments of our reactions, feelings, and some jokes. And to say we hated it would be an understatement. But I've had asks where I went on a rant about Chapter 3 more than once, so I won't repeat myself here. If anyone hasn't seen that, you can find it here, and here.
At this point, we're at Chapter 6 and during one of our after stream chats in VC, my friend, @bittersweetbeet, suddenly brought up an idea that could've tied Kanade (and thus Chapter 3) into the main plot and that was this:
"What if Kanade was blessed with Divine Luck from Utsuro like Void? Like, she wasn't in on the plan, but the reason why everything went south for her is because her luck was running out and got screwed over in the trial because of that, and was more than willing to die because she'd prefer that over losing her Fortune. It wouldn't fix Chapter 3, but at least it'd explain how she got away with all those damn murders for so long!"
I'm kinda paraphrasing here since I don't remember the exact wording due to this idea being brought up in the voice channel. But that was essentially what they said and it drove me NUTS at the time. After all, it's been brought up that Utsuro tended to bless a bunch of kids that were the same/similar age as him during his travels out of boredom, and while we don't know a lot about Kanade and Hibiki's parents to know for certain if they were bad and good (personally, I interpret them as decent people but tended to play favorites with Hibiki and accidentally neglecting Kanade, which only worsens their issues even when they try to bring them together), we DO know that Hibiki tends to bully Kanade a lot and that alone can make for a difficult childhood even when you have parents that care about you. So, with a bit of timeline adjusting, Kanade coming across Utsuro when she was, ahem, down on her luck, and getting blessed by him after she vents about her problems can make sense as this is something he's done for awhile now. And it should be noted that not every kid he blessed with Fortune had the same level of dire straits, as many had different levels of Fortune which faded away at different paces. It's why Void lasted for as long as they did since their situation was the worst of the worst so their Fortunes faded away much slower while others either succumbed to fates sooner or lost their fortunes and survived but couldn't handle being back in the same state they tried so desperately to escape from that they just...well, you know. Not every person that was blessed with Divine Luck was going to be a good person or, hell, some people can end up getting worse with the Fortunes they were blessed with instead of becoming better (like Mikado). And so, we started chatting ourselves up about this idea and I really wanted to share it here on Tumblr that I asked if it was alright if I shared it on my blog and they gave me the go ahead. I didn't share it right away, but I was thinking over how to word the post while I was at work. Which is when I realize there were...a few problems with this idea, unfortunately. Mainly this since I brought it up in our rambles channel in the Discord server to get my buddy's thoughts on it, so I'm just gonna copy and paste that:
"...I've been trying to figure out how to word the idea of Kanade being blessed by Divine Luck and I kinda realized something: how would Kanade realize her luck is fading…when she's not a part of Void? Like, she's not in on the plan from the very start so she's been reverted to a [place] where she believes that she's fine and her luck is still running strong. And how that would be conveyed to the audience…
Like, I can believe Kanade could figure it out, even if I think how the writer LINUJ showed off her intelligence to be stupid, but I'm struggling [on] how to explain how she'd figure out that she ran out of luck? She'd be surprised that things have turned on her suddenly due to her state of being reverted back to a time where her luck is strong, but would she fully understand the context to the point that she'd rather die with her sister than lose what she already have?"
Like, I could've been overthinking on that. I could've had it so that a character comments that she was just hit with a wave of bad luck and Kanade goes, "Me? The most luckiest person ever? Never! (...unless-)" But I was really struggling to come up with an answer I was satisfied with at the time and even Bertie was like, "it's stuff like this that makes it so that the only option that would fix Chapter 3 is by rewriting the whole thing." Which is something I do agree with. This idea wasn't a complete fix to everything that's wrong with Chapter 3 anyways, especially when it comes to Kanade and how the writing on her character just sank it into the depths of hell. It was simply an explanation we both really liked.
And then Bertie went on to say, and I quote, "Tbh I think it would be more interesting if Kanade hated Hibiki deeply rather than love her. It’d be cliche probably but it’s better than the weird incest-like shit we have going on here" end quote.
And I started off with a normal response agreeing and elaborating on the idea, like so:
"HONESTLY, yeah. It's better to just scrap the whole chapter and rewrite it from the ground up.
And yeah, I do agree that anything that's different than what we got in Canon is probably much much better. Although I would still want to keep the nuances of Kanade and Hibiki's status as victims of each other's toxicity. Hibiki is constantly bullying Kanade due to seeing how good Kanade is at a lot of things and is jealous of that but still cares and loves her as a sister even though she sucks at appreciating Kanade for who she is. Meanwhile, Kanade still loves her sister and willingly goes along with her bullying, going as far as to try and be meek and shy to appeal to her sister's dominant but cowardly ways but deep down she resents her for keeping her from doing things she likes even though she does genuinely enjoy spending time with her and gets jealous whenever other people get close cause it means that Hibiki won't bother to spend time with her. She often drives them away one way or another so she can have Hibiki to herself, even when nothing changes because Hibiki is her sister and she just wants her to love her and spend time with her (but not in the gross incest way and we're taking away the whole crazy serial killer thing, she's just her own level of toxic)."
And that's when I started spiraling into an gigantic ramble that lasted nearly an hour and thirty minutes (minus a dinner break) because my brain was in a creative mood that night. Enjoy my copy and pasted ramble (I won't italicize all of this to make it easier on the eyes cause if you know me by now, my writing gets very long + a bit of editing to make it a little more coherent):
"I still like the idea of Kanade being blessed by Divine Luck and being good at many skills because of it, and she's smart enough to realize that the boy she met long ago somehow changed her when she had openly vented to him about her problems the day they met (after giving him her umbrella to protect himself from the pouring rain, as she had ran away on a whim due to being fed up with her parents and her sister [at the time]). She's very grateful for what he's done for her, believing that the skills she now has can bring herself closer to Hibiki by being useful to her."
"But here's the catcher: her blessing doesn't work in the way she had hoped. Because surprise! Divine Luck has it's own set of rules despite being able to break reality as long as the chances aren't zero. Basically, Divine Luck can make you better at anything, get you anything, without having to go through the process of improving or skipping the steps that are needed to get the result, simply jumping to the result itself. However, out of everything it can change, from skills to getting someone shelter to just winning any kind of luck-based event, it cannot change a person's heart. And Kanade, despite having the skills that are "supposed" to bring her closer to her sister, only makes Hibiki even more jealous and she continues to bully her, going as far as to push her workload onto her now that she's so "good" at everything and proclaiming that she's just as good, if not better. Her blessing got her what she wanted but not what she needed in her case, unlike with the rest of Void, and she ends up paralleling Mikado as despite being blessed with Divine Luck, it did not make them better or improve their situation due to their own choices/how they used their blessing (Mikado because he constantly pursued Utsuro to the point committing crime after crime, Kanade because instead of standing up for herself and establishing her boundaries, she continued to support her sister no matter what, something that only ends up building the resentment in her heart). That's not to say that Hibiki isn't instigating most of the abuse, she is. But Kanade isn't making things better as she uses her skills to make herself seem like the better option in comparison to the people Hibiki wants to hang out with and get to know, even going as far as to scare them away to isolate Hibiki so she doesn't even have any options to choose from."
"And then, Chapter 3 rolls around and Hibiki starts to change, trying to be supportive of the group and take charge to help everyone get through the killing game. It…surprises Kanade, but she watches her sister change and grow, becoming more confident, cheerful, kinder…
…And she realizes that she hates it.
She hates the thought of her sister changing. She hates the thought of her being kinder after everything she's done to her. She hates the thought of Hibiki growing closer to these people, becoming attached and happy without her, Kanade, her own sister.
She hates the thought of being left alone again. She hates the thought that Hibiki is going to leave her again.
She hates it, she hates it, she hates it.
She hates her.
But she loves her.
She wants her to be with her, forever.
So why won't she ever look her way?
Why, why, why?
Kanade is spiraling in her head, trying to keep up her shy, sweet side up but gritting her teeth the whole time as she watches. Even when Hibiki is being kinder to her, still making her usual jokes about her but is actually trying to prop her sister up a bit more, it's only because Sora and Setsuka had suggested her to be kinder, not because she wants to. At least, that's what Kanade thinks. She doesn't want to believe her sister is changing for the better, that she's able to change at all, that she's going to leave her behind for other people again.
And when Setsuka tries to reach out to her on the third day…Kanade finally snaps.
She tears into Setsuka, accusing her of stealing her sister away from her, for giving her ideas to be better when she can't, she should never be better than she already is because if she is, she'll just abandon her and leave her all alone. Her stupid, cowardly sister can't ever hope to be on her own, she always has to rely on her, HER, not anyone else…and definitely not SETSUKA!
And before Kanade knew it, she lunges at Setsuka.
The scuffle was short…but the result was predictable."
"To elaborate a little bit more on Setsuka, she's was still pretty distant from the group as she was focused on doing what she needs for Nikei and stuff. But after Hibiki starts to break down a little and reaches out to Setsuka for help, she commits herself to stabilizing the group once more, supporting Hibiki and telling her and everyone else that she has something to tell them. But Kanade, watching this entire scene, only starts to become even more on edge as Hibiki, once again, reaches out to someone else instead of her. Despite trying to "change," Hibiki had so easily broken down once more, crying and begging for help, relying on another person for support and to "fix" everything for her. And that convinces Kanade that Hibiki can't change, she won't EVER change, and she bitterly goes to bed. But Setsuka notices Kanade's displeasure and, not knowing why she's unhappy, decides to take matters into her own hands and have a one-on-one talk with her to see if she [can] help. Unfortunately, this decision backfires on her hard, resulting in her own death.
Now, unlike in canon, Kanade panics as this was the first time she's EVER committed a murder before. Sure, she's harassed, blackmailed, and even threatened people that tried to get close to Hibiki before with violence, people that would only take her away from her. But she didn't…she never…she didn't mean to do this! But, no, Setsuka…No, no. Why should she regret this? Why should she apologize?
Setsuka was getting in the way. Setsuka was going steal her sister away.
And Hibki was still the same as she ever was. Not being "better," not ever "changing." She was still Hibiki, the bully, the sister, the bratty, snappy, fussy older sister that demands respect despite her cowardly, weak self. A sister that Kanade deeply loves…and hates."
"But she won't let her die her. She'll escape with her, a certain "ritual" should allow her to escape with her as it's an option for the blackened on the third island according to Monocrow. If she goes through with that, she can escape with her sister…and make sure she'll never change again.
But if she loses…then she'll die. She'll die…
…and she'll take Hibiki with her. For she doesn't deserve to live without her.
Kanade goes through with the ritual as fast as she could, relying on her skills (and thus her luck) to succeed in framing Hibiki and nearly gets away with it.
But, unbeknownst to her due to her current memories, Kanade's luck has been dwindling and since her situation wasn't as dire as Void's, hers has been fading away far faster than them. And ends up making a few mistakes that seem innocent enough until it all starts to pile up, with one last conclusive evidence fucking her over and revealing her to be the true culprit.
Kanade is seething when she's caught, her ego bruised and lamenting how the hell she lost, with Syobai dryly stating that her luck has run out. Kanade laughs, saying that can't be true. She's always been lucky! She's always been able to get things her way, even when she has no friends outside of Hibiki. This tips both Mikado and Nikei off that, hey, wait a minute, is she…? Of course, neither of them speak up on it due to keeping their own plans close to their chest. Everyone asks her why, why did she do it, with Hibiki grabbing her sister, begging her why she would do something like this, why would Kanade frame her of her best friend's death? A death that she caused?
And Kanade, after years of bottling up her own resentment…finally blows up at Hibiki."
"She tells her off for her bullying, of her neglecting to pay attention or spend any time with her unless she wanted something from her, and pushing all the things she doesn't want to do onto her. She proclaims that she had ALWAYS hated everything she's done to Kanade, wishing she could've done anything else, wishing that, for once in their goddamn lives, that they did something she wanted to do, not because Hibiki had chosen it. All Kanade had ever wanted was her love and affection, but she never appreciated her or all the things she's done for her. [She even went] as far to change herself to try and appeal to her sister and her wants and needs. And yet…despite everything, she still loves her. She loves the times when they would dress up together. She loves the times when they would perform together. She loves it when Hibiki actually cares for her. She loves her, because she's her sister…
And because Setsuka was getting in the way of that, she had to get rid of her. Just like everyone else…!
Everyone freezes when Kanade admits that out loud. She pauses when she realized what she said, but instead of apologizing [or even denying it], she doubles down. She admits that she drove away their childhood friend, she admits to spreading false rumors about their teacher and getting him fired, she admits to falsifying a hurtful rejection to a guy Hibiki was getting close to and pretended to be her so that she can ruin their chances of getting together when he finally confessed, she harrassed, blackmailed, threatened people that got close…and Setsuka was just another person on a long list of those that got in the way. She just…didn't mean to kill her. It just…happened. But Kanade…doesn't care about that. She doesn't care about anything anymore. It's apparent that her luck ran out…and now she's going to die.
But she's not dying alone. She refuses to die alone.
[After all, they're] sisters, right…? It's only right that they stay together till the bitter end, right?"
"Hibiki tries to back away, but Kanade grabs her just as Monocrow drags her into her execution, bringing her with them."
"The execution goes almost exactly the same but Kanade is doing her damndest to make sure Hibiki dies with her, with Hibiki trying to escape. And it seems like it was going to happen…until Hibiki beats the hell out of her with a microphone, crying and wailing for all the people Kanade had hurt in her name, demanding why, why, why. Kanade can only answer this:
"It was ALL for you. You and you alone."'
"Hibiki drops the microphone, backing away from the sister that was so possessive of her, in her hatred and love.
And then she runs away, leaving Kanade all alone.
Monocrow doesn't stop her, for this execution was only made for Kanade…and seeing her despair as she finally loses the one thing she had tried so hard to grasp onto slip away from her was enough for him to pull the lever, the platform underneath Kanade falling and killing her.
By the time Hibiki has made it back to the trial grounds, her gait is slow and unsteady, hugging herself as she stares down at her feet, processing what had just happened. What her sister had done. What she had done to everyone she knew. What she had done to Setsuka and Hibiki herself.
Why she had done it.
She had done it for her.
She had done it to keep Hibiki to herself.
She had done it because she both loved and hated Hibiki.
And the people that had been hurt because of Kanade…was because of her. Because of Hibiki. Because of all her bullying and her selfish wants, and because she didn't treat her like she should've treated her as a sister…! Because she's a horrible, awful person that hurt her own family until it was too late, her best friend dead, her sister, dead! All because of her…!!
Hibiki falls to her knees, going into dissociation as everything that she ever thought she knew and was normal shattered like glass."
"Hibiki, for the rest of the killing game, blames herself for what Kanade has done, but with Sora and co.'s help, she's able to rationalize that yes, what she did to Kanade was horrible and none of this may have happened if Hibiki had just bonded with her sister instead of bullying her…but Kanade had also made her own decisions, alienating Hibiki's friends and support from her to try and isolate her so she can try and force her to rely on her and her alone. Hibiki had done a lot of wrong that she probably can't ever make up now that Kanade is dead, but that doesn't excuse the awful actions Kanade has done either as many people were hurt from her own actions, one even losing his job and others probably traumatized from what she did to them. They were both toxic to each other and so long as neither of them were changing, that cycle was only going to continue until something broke between them…and this just so happened to be it. It's just horrible that it also ended in Setsuka's death alongside Kanade's, who was just as much a victim as she was a perpetrator."
"As for the reveal in Chapter 6, I was thinking of two options for Hibiki and Kanade's relationship:
The two of them, despite years [of] staying together as sisters and as a part of Melody Rhythm, only ended up falling apart as their toxicity turned their head as one of Kanade's past victims, their childhood friend, decides to finally come out and reveal everything Kanade has done to her and other people, even providing evidence of what she did. And the moment Hibiki found out about it, a public argument breaks out between them and Kanade finally spills out everything about her feelings on Hibiki, which only hurts both of them as Kanade had tried so hard to isolate Hibiki from other people while Hibiki had only hurt and bully her sister out of jealousy for years. But this? This was enough for Hibiki to stand up and go, "We're done here." And she leaves, cutting ties with Kanade for the shit she's done to others but also left reeling at the revelation of what her bullying and abuse had done to her sister. Was this…her fault? She wasn't sure. But she knew [she] had to make things right somehow, even if it's only for herself, reflecting on her behavior and reaching out to those that were hurt by Kanade, apologizing for everything that had happened even though it wasn't her fault that she chose to do the things she did and tried to make it up to them…if they want her, at least. [Meanwhile,] Kanade is PISSED that her sister left her, who went as far as to block her from her phone and even ending their contract as Melody Rhythm as she's left to deal with the fallout of the media bashing her for what she's done…but as time went on, Kanade is able to pick up the pieces and strikes out on her own, telling herself that she doesn't need Hibiki or the people that criticizes her for what she's done. She can do this by herself! She never openly apologizes, but she never says outright that she's happy with how things had turned out either, despite getting her career back on track…eventually."
"And then the Tragedy happens, they lose their parents, and one of two things happen.
Either 1.) the Tragedy brings them back together, with them starting off very reluctantly working together to do charities to help those in need, only to slowly and carefully rebuild their relationship while trying very hard not to fall back into bad habits as Hibiki admits that yeah, she's done a lot of horrible things to Kanade and she IS sorry for that…but she won't let Kanade hurt anyone anymore. She's trying very hard to be patient with her sister, as they know the Tragedy is a horrible thing to go through, they even lost their parents from it…but if they want to make things work, then something has to change between them, even if Hibiki is the only one taking the initiative FOR the change. Kanade is very reluctant to admit that she was EVER in the wrong for what she did…but as they continue work and bicker over the concerts they put together, their different ideas colliding but somehow coming together with the help of their coordinator, they start to…actually bond again. They start to talk things out, Hibiki is actually trying to show interest in her hobbies and the things she likes, and while she can never bring herself to like the same things she does, she's trying to be respectful and give her the time of day this time. She's trying to make things right for her, so long as Kanade never does the things she did again. And while Kanade doesn't like the same things Hibiki does, it's still a bond Hibiki is trying to nurture…and it makes Kanade question if what she did was ever necessary, that if she had just stood her ground, let Hibiki form her own relationships while searching for her own friends that she can rely [on] like the ones she had now…then maybe none of this would have happen. Maybe they could've remain as sisters, forever, if she just accepted their differences and tried to break away and do her own thing, while letting Hibiki grow as a person [as I think if Hibiki was allowed to bond with other people, she would've grew out of her bullying and become a better person, but because she never had the chance or had people that would stand up to her and let her experience the consequences of her own actions, she never grew out of that mindset as she was never put in her place before]…
[And then the killing game happens, reverts them back to their teenage selves, and they start their toxic cycle all over again until one of them literally kills and gets executed for it.]"
"Or 2.), Kanade and Hibiki remain separate, as not even the Tragedy and the death of their own parents can bring them together. Their parents funeral, one they tried to arrange anyways, only escalates into another argument, with Hibiki changing as a person…but Kanade did not. She still feels entitled to be Hibiki's one and only sister, her one and only support, and Hibiki recognizes that, deciding that it was safer that they stay separated as she NEVER wants to risk anyone else she loves coming to harm thanks to Kanade. The two part ways, with the both of them doing their own separate charity events, with Hibiki proclaiming that Kanade Otonokoji is not her sister, [not anymore], while Kanade proclaims that Hibiki Otonokoji will always be her sister, and refuses to acknowledge the fact that she had been disowned and will continue to be disowned for the rest of their lives."
"Either way, Hibiki is depressed to realize that their future together was never forever, and Hibiki had lost her sister…one way or another."
And that's it! That's the concept rewrite, plus the sprite edits since Kanade and Hibiki are no longer together as sisters and as a band outside of the Neo World Program, so their appearances reflect on that as they pursue their own solo careers. They're no longer trying to match each other, and Kanade pursues her own rock and metal music.
Oh, and while I was copying and pasting this, I had an idea that Kanade's relationship with Sora could be interesting as she's the only one that Kanade is actually okay with getting close to Hibiki...because Sora shows interests in both of them in their FTEs. She talks to Hibiki in private about her treatment of Kanade and even asked Kanade herself if she was okay as she genuinely cares about her just as much as she cares about Hibiki. This surprises Kanade as no one has ever bothered to look her way before, they always pay more attention to Hibiki than herself. And Sora makes it clear that she's genuine about this, asking her if there's anything she can do to make things better for Kanade when Hibiki is defensive about her actions. It makes Kanade feel...seen, for once in her life, and she actually likes that. So she allows Sora to get close, so long as she promises to continue being her friend, too. It's why Sora succeeds in befriending both twins while Setsuka ended up getting rejected by Kanade in the worse possible way: Setsuka unintentionally added to Kanade's insecurities by focusing mostly on Hibiki and overlooked Kanade's needs as well. She's not doing this out of ill-will, far from it. It's just that she recognized that Hibiki is a little weaker in her mental strength and her breakdowns were far easier to notice while Kanade was able to keep a cool head most of the time. So Setsuka prioritizes on supporting Hibiki first and foremost, thinking that Kanade can handle herself fine on her own. She's not completely wrong...but she's not right, either. By the time she finally notices that Kanade is hurting and reaches out to support her, it's already too late as she's finally reached her breaking point and snapped, which resulted in her own death. Just a little something to tie this whole thing off.
#SDRA2#Kanade Otonokoji#Hibiki Otonokoji#Super Danganronpa Another 2#SDRA2 Spoilers#sprite edit#Star's Art#look I won't pretend that people like canon!Kanade can't exist - me and my friend both know that#the problem is what's the POINT in making Kanade into a serial killer that's turning her sister into a puppet that it serves the narrative?#Is it meant to be foreshadowing and how that's exactly what's happening to Yuki - so he can be broken down and be replaced with Utsuro?#if so then it's not done very well since it's barely touched upon - let alone never ever called back to it ONCE - to be proper foreshadowin#And it even costed a character her own development for the sake of a twist that's nothing more than shock value - losing what could've been#-a really good character/concept in the process#and the reason why Hibiki's arc up to that point was so effective was BECAUSE she's done bad things and mistreated her sister so often#it gave us a reason to see her grow as a person because she's immature and flawed. this arc would have not worked if Hibiki was softer-#-or kinder at the start. And we just...lost that before it could develop even further.#so my approach was basically take out all the serial killer BS (and heavily implied incest) and tone down a fuck ton of Kanade's actions#She's still a toxic person but has been hiding her awful behavior for years in an attempt to keep her sister tied down to her#and just not excusing any of Hibiki's past actions or Kanade's own actions either
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the worst part is i can't even say he's wrong. they certainly did figure out how to contribute the city by joining the wrgp. but like. this is one of those things where it literally does not make sense. this is insane levels of logic. "we're not sure how to contribute to the city. we think entering a magic the gathering tournament will help." like. imagine saying that fr when your parents ask what you're going to do after you graduate college. "idk. thought i'd play card games and figure it out, man"
#yugioh 5ds#yusei fudo#anya rewatches yugioh 5ds sub#i'm cackling over this#like dude you FUCKIN SAVED THE CITY#ushio calling this out too with like ''uhm. you guys kinda saved the city? you don't have to prove anything?''#and they never fully answer why they feel they have to prove something#they just do#arguably this implies an insane level of overachieving from yusei crow and jack#since they're not satisfied with JUST saving the city#but like. it does kinda suck that neither crow nor jack got to move on from playing card games with this set up?#yusei moves on to working on the moment - that works SO MUCH with this statement#and their statements made here#i suppose if you take jack's ''the team that wins will have glory'' statement at face value him continuing to do dueling also makes sense#but it also DOESN'T because like. he ALREADY HAD glory. he's the fuckin former king#this tournament changes nothing. he continues on as if he's still trying to reach it#and it just. there's a lot with jack's writing this season i WILL NOT get into#but oh my god jack atlas is a woman to me the way she was mishandled#and crow's... a lot of it falls so fuckin flat#the three boys were ROBBED but also yusei fully never gets to ever reclaim being a teenager#he ends the series forced into a role he never once indicated he wanted#following the footsteps of his father who he never once indicated he wanted to follow the footsteps of#yusei's character suffers because the show never bothers to address this constant hero complex he has#it's never confronted in any MEANINGFUL way like atem and judai's were#atem's hero complex cost him everything in the waking the dragons arc for example#and judai's led him straight down the path of becoming the supreme king#but for yusei? it's never like. deconstructed. ever.#and it feels like suuuuch a missed moment to go hey yusei. you do not have to be the hero of the city. you are a teenage boy.#what you have done for the city IS ENOUGH you do not owe your life to everyone
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