#nothing else really is but bc i am already fucked up i guess it doesn't take much

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

i wish i could convince my brain that my workplace / being at work / doing my job is in fact safe

i know that there are some objective dangers involved (like covid and the fact that i'm the only person in the goddamn building wearing a mask) but emotionally i wish it felt safer so that i didn't feel like i was putting traumabrain through a blender every goddamn day so that it feels the need to spend every evening figuring out what "safe" is all over again (and not always succeeding at finding it at home)

like. i am okay at my job. my boss is fine. it is not an objectively challenging experience and i am theoretically staying vaguely on top of things. And Yet

[inconsistent-kuroshitsuji-blog]

Can I request Sebastian with a gender neutral s/o (or master) who had a mental breakdown bcs of math and acted like nothing happened infront of him? (I'm gonna lose my mind over math)

My dearie, of course. I know, it has been a while, but now I am here. (That sounded like I'm some sort god-figure.) I'm about 90% sure that I have completely lost my mind over math and have no way of getting it back.

Sebastian comforting you after you lose your mind over your math homework

When the fuck did math get letters? Why does math need letters? Why must it make a problem out of everything? Who cares at what degree a certain angle of a roof of a weird art exhibition is. Why should you care at what height a discoball is located if a laser hits it at a certain angle? And who even thinks of such ridiculous problems?

Advanced education? More like an advanced headache. You've sat here at your desk for about three hours, longer than you planned to. You were just trying to do your homework, but nothing was working out. The numbers didn't add up, you don't even know where to start at. It is all too much, too much at once, you just can't handle it anymore.

Throwing away your pencil, you start sobbing over that darned piece of paper. What is this supposed to teach you? Well, nothing that matters to you, of course, yet you're still forced to keep up with algebra and geometry and analysis, totally useless in your daily life. If only these problems were solvable with tears. The only thing they do for you right now is smudge your already hastily written tasks and solutions. Oh, how you hate this. You can only hate this. How could you ever do anything else-?

Your door opens. What now? Who has come to bother you at your lowest point of the day?

"Is everything alright, my dear?", you hear, yet you don't look up. You don't have to do so to know who is there. You'd recognise his gentle voice in a crowded room full of people who don't know how to properly adjust their voice volume. You also want to save yourself from the embarrassment of him seeing your puffy red eyes. So you only mumble something into your arm, something along the lines of "Maybe, I don't know, leave me alone.".

But he didn't. Of course he didn't leave, he never really does what you tell him to. Just like his beloved cats, Sebastian does what he feels like doing at any given point. So if he wants to physically see your tears for his amusement, he will watch them slowly run down your cheeks. You hear how he places something infront of you.

"If everything truly was alright, you'd show me your beautifull face. So, look up for me.". That snarky bastard. You'd hate him for that if you didn't love him more. So you slowly look up to him, eyes all puffy and swollen. "See? I'm fine.". You finally realised he placed a batch of biscuits infront of you, freshly made of course. Sebastian looks down at you with that smirk he always seems to have on his face. "Well, I don't believe you. You're a bad liar, kitten. What is troubling you?". He doesn't even wait for your answer, he just looks down and responds with a little "Ah.". He saw everything he needed to see.

"Is your scholarship too hard on you again? Or is it you being too hard on yourself?", he asked while sitting down next to you. He seemingly tries to make out what you wrote, but it is simply incomprehensible thanks to your tears. "I told you already, it's nothing. Just some stupid problems. As if I would've brought them to class anyway..."

"Frustrated, are we?". "Shut it...", you deliberately look away, yet he pulls you into his arms and starts to stroke your head. "Now, no need to cry over silly made up numbers and problems. Rest your head for now.". Sebastian slightly nudges your head onto his chest. Maybe he's right. You should take a little break, just for now.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Phew, finally something fresh on my paige. As you can guess, I'm well and alive, more alive than well but alive nonetheless. I'll see how I can get back on track. But until then, I will fulfill the meaning of my name by disappearing suddenly and reappearing again. Like a little ghost.

Until then~

Your Inconsistent Kuroshitsuji Blog~

[bots-and-cons]

Heya, I just want to offer some advice on your vent post, bcs I struggle with similar problems regarding selfcare. Having sensory issues + depression and anxiety sucks, and here are some things that help me wrangle my own autistic brain into caring for myself;

Making food fucking sucks, but there are a bunch of stuff that can be eaten in a cup. I know ramen and soups in a cup can be a hit or miss depending on texture, but I found that they are one of the easiest ways to get something warm and not sweet into my body.

On that note oatmeal or muesli or cereal is an option. With oatmeal being a good neutral tasting but filling thing, that you can dump some sugar or salt or whatever in to achieve the taste. When I needed something sweet but filling, I would add sugar and cinnamon. Or some syrup if I wanted some fruity flavor.

Higiene is annoying to do, I can't express that enough. But wet wipes are a saviour in that regard. I use neutral non scented ones, and they help keep the private areas clean when showering is too taxing, and can also be used for a wipe down and a way to freshen up the armpits (I have a fear of stinking, so that helps me a bunch).

I buy them along with toilet paper. People don't care what we buy, and toiletries are on everyones shopping list, but buying stuff together helps me get my anxiety to shut up.

My oral hygene and sweet tooth are mortal enemies. I've got holes and crowns to prove it, so I started working on making brushing easier on my brain. I rinse my mouth with water a few times, and if brushing feels too hard, I put some toothpaste in my mouth and spread it around with my tongue.

It either gets me to grab the toothbrush or I atleast have a slightly fresher taste in my mouth. Surprisingly, I can force myself to eat way easier when my mouth doesn't feel gross.

My struggle was with auditory hallucinations before I got meds that worked, so yea, headphones are life saving when everything is. Extra loud.

The only thing helping me not to bust my hearing when things are REALLY bad, is that warning that shows up on the screen when I try to turn the noise up over the safe limit. It makes me pause, and instead change to some other music that holds my attention better.

I hope some of these help you. I wish I had more to offer, but I myself am also struggling with the piles of laundry and dishes so... Good luck to us both I guess. Putting music on and trying to go autopilot sometimes works for me.

I have no idea what a friendship of 18 years looks like, but your bff kind of reminds me of a friend I had in my hometown. It took me moving away and getting some perspective to realize she was friends with me for the benefits of homework and stuff, and p much nothing else. Or to make a joke at my expense and not get called out for it.

I don't know what you and your bff are like, but from my point of view, she doesn't sound like a best friend. Especially not one that is for Forever, because friends do not make us feel like shit.

It took me some years to learn that, and a good friend I met in the dorms, that helped me realize what kind of person I consider a good friend. Qualities I mean, and she has remained a prime example of a best friend for 8 years now.

This is getting way longer than I intended, but I hope its of some help.

Have a good day/night, and a cookie to help you battle with the stresses you're under 🍪

This is a great advice post tbh, and I'm going to be trying some of these I don't already do. I do have a couple of soups I make very well, even if it's a bit of pain, but then I'll have food for a couple of days. I sometimes eat oatmeal multiple times a week for many days straight, and then I forget about it for like two months, and then I do it again. I like to put some frozen berries into my oatmeal, but it can also be a bit of a hit or miss since the texture sometimes sucks.

Hygiene is indeed a pain in the ass. I learned about the thing with the wet wipes a while back, and I try to remember to use them when I don't want to shower. I have a big problem with actually remembering to do things, so I have to constantly remind myself. I've never been good with brushing my teeth, ever since I started doing it on my own when I was a kid. Since no one was making me do it, I didn't really bother to do it much. Also, it's sensory hell for me and if I try to brush my tongue it's make me gag. So that's fun.

I'm kinda the opposite with the volume thing, since I often feel like even one bar of volume is way too much, so I'm not at danger of hurting my ears, luckily.

I'm probably going to like week's worth of dishes today, and it fucking sucks. I know I shouldn't let them pile up, but I just can't wash them as they get dirty, because that would be every day and I only have so much energy. I know it's disgusting to let them sit for that long but I just can't manage sometimes. Kinda same with the laundry. Everything is piling up, but I'm gonna try to get them done again so I can focus on school stuff.

The friend thing is complicated. After I made that post, she answered my messages the next day, and we talked on the phone. As usual, I didn't really air out any of my concerns and how I felt, because I didn't want to upset her. I just keep swallowing my own feelings in favor of not upsetting someone else and it sucks sometimes. You're probably right about the whole thing tbh, my BFF and I are just both pretty codependent, and it's hard to let go, especially because I have no other friends "IRL" currently.

I hope you can get through whatever stress you're battling against, too. I really appreciate the advice, because it's something I can actually use and not just the "think positive" or "try not being so sensitive" crap.

[pitynostars]

ok so first things first, i loooove gatwa's doctor so much already. if nothing else, i love the masterclass in acting he's putting on, his expressiveness is so impressive. he brings a very fun energy to the role

the church on ruby road has me feeling a bit mixed as well. the plot was kind of meh, and i didn't like how in the alternate universe ruby's mum was just so mean without her. it didn't make sense. like what makes ruby so special, hm 🤨 what's this one white blond baby got that all the other babies in the world don't 🤨 i know the point was to show how much ruby meant to her mum, but like. there are other ways to do it than have a complete 180 in characterization.

i'm honestly not super interested in the mystery of ruby's parentage (which apparently seems like it will be a huge thing unless they're just making stuff up to fake us out, in which case, good on them). but i don't want it to be some big reveal i'm sorry 😩 especially not because if it is, people will bend over backwards to say how great storytelling it is when they'd never say that if moffat did a plot like this. i hadn't even considered the possibility really, when i'd first watched it, i thought it's just not that deep, but maybe i'm wrong. the people who are theorizing that ruby is rose and tentoo's daughter are sooo funny though like

ur only saying that because she's blond and we all know nobody on this show can be blond without being related to The Blond(tm) 🙄

that literally means they abandoned their kid. yes. such good parents 😫

i also feel like we didn't....really get to know ruby that well? i'll reserve judgement to give them more time obviously, and millie seems very green (not a judgement on her, and she and ncuti seem to have a lot of fun energy together) so there's still time and there's a lot of time in general for the stories to get going, and it had to do double duty as a christmas special and an intro episode for both new doctor and new companion so like, my feelings may also change with time. anyways those are my thots for now

yesss i was sold on gatwa very quickly i just hope he doesn't become 10th doctor rehash number 2345932853845 i am so tired. give him something new. also praying him and ruby don't have a romance angle there were a couple of moments in CORR i was like. GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT AGAIN.

CORR plot being meh i agreeee but also xmas specials plot is a lot of times like a wafer and as someone who watched it quite roasted ngl i kinda appreciated it 😂

YEAH omhg tho with ruby disappearing and her mum (i want to say carla??) completely changing as a person??? i get that the point was supposed to be like one little change can make such an impact etc etc as well. but also i was just like. .... ok but what about the other kids wasnt good enuf ???? maybe i'm a cynic lol. but fr have another MORE kids on the wall bc she's trying to fill a gap she doesn't know is from what !!!! IMAGINE.... especially with it being sort of set up as a doctor/companions parallel oh my god

nooo oh my god i know what you mean about rubys parents i like that theyre setting it up as a counter to 13s "it doesn't matter i'm good as i am my past doesnt define me" etc. but i really want it to not be interesting. i want her parents to just be like. normal people who had to make a hard choice lol. oh my god. i just realised. we're gonna go thru a fucking rey star wars arc with her im gonna lose it byee... imagine she ends the series like "im ruby doctor" :) i would quit watching.

but yeah 100% it's gonna be a big thing. atm i dont care but i guess we'll see and hope they do something interesting with it.... prayers she's an alien tbf

rose and tentoo would be terrible parents tbf i said what i said.

YEAH i know what you mean i feel like that about gatwa too i think its hard making the first intro for both an xmas special because it has to be kinda silly and rompy so you cant rlly get too into the grit of the characters?? still reserving judgement on them both, but its taken me a while to warm up to like. everyone in dr who since bill--- wait i take that back i loved bel in flux from like her first scene but she's not a doc or companion.

[vampiremourning]

oh im gonna hsdgfjk

okay so three+ months ago i discovered I had a Fun Condition called perioral dermatitis. basically, just this Extraordinarily persistent face rash that looks like a bunch of small pustules in a circle around my mouth, but it also went around my nose and eyes. reacts to literally fucking Everything, deeply annoying to treat, even with antibiotics it takes weeks but usually months to clear. causes are ?? can be anything from inhaled steroids, face cream, toothpaste, hormones, etc. basically impossible to pinpoint. i have some guesses about what triggered it but ofc no real way to know for sure.

i go on 90 days of antibiotics. cool, whatever, condition dissipates but doesn't go away entirely. i think nothing of this bc I know even With oral antibiotics, it can still take months.

halfway through this treatment i develop arthritic symptoms. i also think nothing of this bc I have Some sort of illness undiagnosed anyway + family members have it so while I am definitely not happy w this development, I'm resigned.

i finish the pills.

less than 24 hours later, dermatitis has Returned. i know that allowing this to happen makes it worse and last longer. i cannot stress enough how bad it will be for my mental health if this happens. yes this probably sounds overly dramatic but I'm pretty sure watching my face flare up in any way is a legitimate trigger atp after dealing with cystic acne.

anyway. i book an appointment with my gp bc the pharmacist cannot refill the antibiotics. great except the appointment is at the End Of The Month, and I know this is going to be bad in a few days time. like, in the last few hours the inflammation has already accelerated, who knows how bad it'll be then, I'm assuming it'll be like I never even took the pills to start with. i am going to have a nervous breakdown.

mysteriously, the arthritis symptoms have Also started to decrease after stopping the antibiotics. that's weird, I think, that wasn't brought up in the list of side effects when I asked, but the timing is literally exactly when my face started flaring up so I know I definitely don't have those in my system anymore. i look this up, to see if there's a link.

'''acute polyarthritis''' also described as 'drug-induced lupus' are you Fucking Kidding Me

so i am now back as Square Fucking one for this shit, my skin is about to be so goddamn inflamed & I apparently can't even take the drug that was working to clear it up. because it causes inflammation in my joints.

and like i cant really express properly how mad this makes me lmfao because of Course. i spend a solid year on Accutane finally after being deterred for nearly a decade, i get maybe 4 months of enjoying my skin after I'm off of it and then This Shit. can i win?? can i Fucking win??????? no one else in my genepool seems to deal with this shit its just me and ohhh my god i am This close to walking straight into the ocean.

[ochrearia]

I dont know a lot about your other interests buuuuut maybe your favorite dragon prince character for the character ask thing, if you want? :]

Stares at you with the biggest eyes ever I'm picking RAYLA BECAUSE SHES SO FUCKING DUMB AND I HATE HER BUT NO I DON'T

Favorite Thing About Them: Can I be so damn honest. We share trauma. Like okay not like 1:1 but her parents """died""" when she was young and she had to deal with that. I had to deal with death early too. Not a family member but a friend and her entire family. And like. That's still rather traumatizing for an 8-9 year old kid especially because it was a fucking PLANE CRASH but yeah. Death trauma early on where the person dying had a really fucked up death. Rayla kind of runs away from her problems and so do I. Puts it all on herself and doesn't think that she matters at all so "doing the right thing" gets in the way of staying alive and she's fine with that but doesn't really clock that dying for the cause is going to traumatize someone else. But that's so like... me. I talk about seeing myself in Pico but Rayla steals the similarity contest from him easy. Also elf but like come on DSFDGF Rayla is to blame for my elfsona and my continuous use of pointed ears in my sonas ever since

Least Favorite Thing About Them: Girl you're an asshole. Like I'm sorry she can be a wonderful person but oh my god I am never forgiving her dumbass for doing what she did to Callum in Through The Moon. Dawg. Fucking idiot. I dislike liars man I already got trust issues but this BITCHHHHH she tells Callum they will go find Viren together and then she turns around and leaves in the middle of the night without him and only leaves him a NOTE to wake up to. On his BIRTHDAY BY THE FUCKING WAY ON HIS BIRTHDAY. ARE YOU DUMB??? ARE YOU DUMB. She's gone for 2 years. Girl what the fuck that's your boyfriend. Or you know was lol what is your issue. Like I know, you've got trauma and you believed that you were protecting him by going alone so he wasn't in danger but hoLY SHIT YOU DID SO MUCH MORE DAMAGE TO HIM THAT WAY. Christ. You would think that him jumping off the Storm Spire to catch you and save you from a splat death would tell you his damn dedication to you Rayla. Rayla. Look me in the eyes Rayla you cannot keep thinking in this mentality. I fully understand the idea that you think leaving someone would save them because I've considered that too but NO!!!! NO GET A GRIP OHUHUH I HATE YOU FOR DOING THAT RAYLA

Favorite Line: "Callum, you may be a dummy but you're not a fool!" ("Am I supposed to feel flattered about this?") Rayla is the reason "dummy" is in my vocabulary. Like dummy but in an affectionate way because that's the only context she uses it and it's always with Callum.

brOTP: Rayla and Soren <3 Rayla being the completely fucking done with this bitch adopted sister and Soren being his normal stupid himbo ass self. I love Soren ??? But like that's for another day to talk about

OTP: Rayllum, lmao, because I am in fact basic as fuck and am shipping the thing the show is handing to me. Honestly though pre-season 4 I was lowkey fucking with Claudia and Rayla in fandom context bc realistically they would. Never. Rayla would hate her ass. And its not elf-human racism because Claudia's dating Terry it's just Rayla would HATE HERRR

nOTP: Man I don't even wanna talk about it I've seen some weird shit but I genuinely think I have seen at least one instance of Viren x Rayla and absolutely the FUCK not. But I guess for one that's not just weird as fuck Soren x Rayla because they're not romantic to me in any context ever sorry to the people that do consider it though

Random Headcanon: Hitting this fucker with the bigender beam I do NOT care. She's bigender and uses she/he pronouns like me because I SAID SO

Unpopular Opinion: sighs... I'm no Callum guys. I think she deserved to suffer in the consequences of her actions more. 2 years with nothing but a note and a broken promise. Callum's stronger than me dude like I get it you love her and I like love but god that would break my trust for way longer. They never even really talked about it either. He just kinda forgave her after awhile. And yeah Rayla throughout the seasons shows that she knows it's on her but I THINK SHE DESERVED TO GET YELLED AT AT LEAST ONE TIME OKAY

Song I Associate With Them: Mama's Gun by Glass Animals and I am going to REFUSE to explain why because it's a years old thing and I'm not changing it. But just. Yeah that one

Favorite Picture Of Them: I could be mean and say the one where she's staring at the metal flowers in Ethari's pond and obviously about to cry but I won't. I'll be nice.

My current one methinks. She's pretty :] Shakes her by the shoulders I wanna loOK LIKE YOU

[teddybeartoji]

dune part two babyy!!!!

i'll try to keep it as spoiler free as possible. as possible as a review can go i guess..... and as always this was a ramble and it's not really proofread my apologies my loves it's kinda late and my head hurts so this'll have to do!

THE SOUND WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOD OH MY FUCKING GOD MY EYES WERE ROLLING BACK INSIDE MY HEAD AFTER LIKE 10 SECONDS ALREADY that was great i loved it

but overall.... i definitely preferred the first one. i don't know maybe it was my own fault - that i was so excited and i might've gotten my hopes so far up but then again i really wasn't expecting anything......... i haven't read the book so i don't know the story and i avoided clips and trailers as much as i could. i guess the only expectation i had that it was gonna be mindblowing. it was okay. and it feels so weird to say it when all of the other reviews are so good lmao so yk i'm reminding us all that i am a simple Movie Watcher And I Know Nothing.

the difference between a good movie or a bad one for me is really simple for me. whether it makes me Feel something. anything. ok, not anything - boredom and annoyance don't really count here. dune part two kind of left me cold. yes, i got chills every once in a while but that was mostly because of the sound design and not because of whatever was happening on the screen.

chalamet had his moments. at the end at least. i thought he was great in the first one but this was kinda just meh. for the most part it just felt like he was there.... but he's literally the main character so that's not good lmao.

another thing that really threw me off was the non-existent chemistry between chalamet and zendaya. it's simply not there. but it's such a big part of the movie??????????? their first kiss was the biggest Meh of all time??????? well, actually pretty much all of their scenes were like that. "meh" isn't even a proper word but idk what else to use here i apologize. now that i'm thinking about it - i can't really give you an example of a good scene of theirs........ boo!

rebecca ferguson is great i love her but her part in this one wasn't too exciting either................... there really wasn't a single performance i feel like i should pluck out bc they were all just very mid. nothing special caught my eye and it's disappointing bc in the first one it's the complete opposite? oscar isaac is there, stellan skarsgård, dave bautista, jason mamoa???????, chalamet obviously, ferguson obviously - so where did all of that go in this one???

now i have two things that i wish had been a little different BUT but but there's a massive but here. neither of those things are villeneuve things. at all. so it's kind of stupid for me to even be bringing them up but am anyway. i wish there was more blood. sigh. pretty sure everyone that follows me already knows of my Bloodlust lmao but i really do think a few scenes would've been better, more effective with it. i'm not talking about blood splatter - it's not some crazy horror movie. i just wanted to see more of it. a pool of blood here and there. i mean the dead bodies were there. is that too much to ask for? maybe villeneuve is just going for the more realistic look...... but ahhh. there was a scene (not a big spoiler i promise) where a person is stabbed in the neck and even though the knife is left in there, there would still be blood coming out of it, no? or idk if he was a weirdo and his blood wouldn't have been red i just wanted SOMETHING to come out from there. it just looked kinda bland.

but since i am a villeneuve doesn't really do blood. in any of his films. it's always very little - mostly only the main characters get to have blood on them. paul (dune's mc) certainly had some on him in the end but LOOK IT JUST DIDN'T SATIATE MY THIRST AAAAAAAAAA it's whatever i guess i can't stay mad at him he's a god i love him

and the second thing, another thing he doesn't really do - fight scenes. here's a reminder that i very much love action movies and so i've seen enough of fight scenes to understand what makes one good and what makes one bad.... i wish he'd show the fights more. if a fight is all cut up - it feels incredibly fake. and that's exactly how the one-on-one fights were like in dune part two. very close-up and cut up. you can't see what's happening so it doesn't matter to you. if you can see more of their moves, you can kind of get more into it yourself but alas only seeing their upper bodies and their unamused faces doesn't really do that. scruntched eyebrows "grr i'm so angry". yeah, okay. show me your moves bitch boy i don't care about your face!!

perhaps i simply need to watch it again. maybe it'll be better the second time around but for now - it was a big big meh. it does feel weird to not be as not into it as everyone else seems to be. the good old rottentomatoes puts this on a whopping 95% while the first sits at a 83% and yk it just makes it seems that i'm really missing out on something lmao. if i do see it again and if the second watch actually changes something i will let you all know i can promise you that!!

very long story short - as an action buff and a villeneuve lover... this was kind of boring. sad emoji face. three stars out of five.

[taintedsoul-if]

Considering that Cadmus has snowy white hair and red eyes, unfortunately for him, his nickname in MCs mind is Bunny. It is apparently so engraved in her soul that even dying didn't make her think of something else. Sorry about that, but if the shoe fits... (also bc bunnies are insatiable when it comes to bedroom activities and get lonely and die when they are all alone). I'm not entirely sure why MC didn't take her sugar daddies money and worked 7 days a week to provide for her mother on her own, but she decided on that cliff that even hate was too much effort for this and to just cleanly excuse herself from this life. Poor Ada waking up alone after all... She also accepted stuff in her first life, I guess, since she told C she loves him and hopes to meet in the next life. Well, here's her chance at least! And true to character, she doesn't want to go to all that effort and enact revenge for the OH, bc honestly it has nothing to do with her and just gives undue attention to the whore couple. She's not a pushover, if they come at her she'll give as good as she got, but frankly she is tired of living her life to appease other people's feelings, even the OH. And since she's not supposed to kill them anyway, she'll just push them together and let them entertain each other. She insinuated that there was something wrong with the soup and poured it out, ignoring Neosho about as much as she politely told her father to take a hike, please. I'm sure her bunny will help her, if she promises not to call him that in polite company. Bc damn, there is friction between them and why not explore that? Though he might want to at least tell her his name and buy her dinner first. I found the IF on accident and I laughed at the ~drama~, it's fun to play and explore the options, though I doubt I'll really romance anyone else, since C hits pretty much all my buttons. Nice gropable muscles, long white soft looking hair, interesting eyes, already comes with pre-installed feelings and loyalty (and issues, but at this point, who cares), intelligent enough to get out of being schemed against, ruthless enough to help with murder if necessary and can def fuck. Thank you very much and I look forward to the next couple of plot points! Bc I'm definitely reading this for the plot, of course. :blush:

🤧 now that I think about it that is a cute nickname! It's so fitting. I honestly never thought about that.

Thank you so much for reading. I am a lover of drama.... (inquisitive that's me) so please do expect to see alot of that in upcoming chapters. 😏 I feel you when I'm beta testing what I've written so far I can only romance Cadmus.... I always go down the path of letting that kiss happen. What's hotter than getting kissed by a stranger in the DARK?!

In the first draft I wrote, Cadmus was actually the one who deliberately killed the MC because of his impatience... 😫 food for thought. Thank you so much for the ask.... have a wonderful day and stay safe! Toodles!

[conanssummerchild]

okay so id initially put this in the tags of your ask but i thought id put it in your askbox so you don't feel obligated to answer it or you wanna answer privately instead cause it's very rambly and kinda personal

#also im curious. what do you do after you get an autism dx?#because like back when my psychiatrist evaluated me for a bunch of things. i was curious if i was somewhere on the autism spectrum too#cause i did check a lot of boxes#and she essentially told me i have a lot of the overlapping stuff because of other conditions and i could do the autism evaluation#but it would be a waste of time for me because it wasnt my main dx and doesn't make my life unbearable#because im already taking meds and shit for other stuff but you dont take meds or really do anything about having autism#so she basically told me you might be on the spectrum but there's no point in getting a dx cause it doesnt change anything#but also cuz for me it's probably mild and doesnt affect my every day life that much#so yeah i guess i was curious. im so sorry if this comes off as rude btw#because i know getting dxed changed my life and its so much better now. and im so proud of you for that finally happening#and my situation is very different from yours like even if i am on the spectrum it probably doesn't affect me to an extent where it fucks#with my every day life to an unbearable degree yk#but im definitely curious about how you go forward once you get an autism diagnosis when it does significantly affect your life. like do you do anything about it?#i do know it's validating as hell and your parents will finally take you seriously. cause you've obviously known for a while#and again i know its gonna get so much better hereon. getting dxed literally changes your life and im so so happy for you#how did your family and everyone take it?#like i had the worst relationship with my parents i was gonna cut them off after school but it got so much better after my dx#like they became so much more understanding and like put in the effort to change and be better and its still a long road but yeah#it's kind of fucking awesome and life changing and i really hope it is for you too#im so so so happy for you

well i guess i dont really know yet, i had an appointment yesterday at school hours and i went alone and then i went straight back to school and now im at my friends house so i havent seen my parents yet. i have my last appointment with my psycologist in 2 weeks and that one is with my parents so its basically when shes going to tell them, i dont plan on telling my dad about it before then bcs he can go fuck himself but i am going to tell my mum as soon as she gets home from barcelona. so i cant really say anything parents-wise yet. as for like outside that at the moment theres really nothing at all i can do until my parents are in on it, since im a minor my parents are the ones who choose if the school knows and i can get accomodations but if they choose not to tell them theres really not much i can do, so for me a diagnosis doesnt change much (apart from FINALLY after more than EIGHT years knowing whats different abt me) unless my parents let it change stuff, and at the moment i font know if they will :/, so to answer "what do you do after a diagnosis?" i really dont know. if u want to get diagnosed though and u think you could i would probably go for it, you can keep it to urself since ur over 18 so u dont have to tell anyone else if u dont want to and idk it might come in handy even if it doesnt it is nice to feel validated but anyway its up to you <3

ps: you can literally ask me anything u want to know i dont mind and dont worry abt coming off as rude i dont think u r <33 love u

[nathank77]

11/16/24

6:40 p.m

I think they are actually considering saving Riley. I really hope so. She reached out to me about next steps. So maybe not all is lost. I feel bad having to rehome her but it's actually what's best for her and tbh this rescue is ideal. She will never be in a kennel. She will immediately go to a foster home and then they do hardcore checks before allowing someone to take the dog. So fingers crossed. I say saving Riley for a reason. She's never going to be happy here and I'm never going to be healthy with her here and she's never going to be healthy here.

My forearms still hurt. My abs feel like i did nothing. Idk how to arrange my week. I already took the gym off my schedule for tomorrow bc even if somehow I feel better tomorrow I need a day where they feel normal...

If it takes a week idk what to do. I mean i could go Thursday and work on my "abs," that likely don't exist... but it's hard not to try other things... bc I really want to escape when I'm there and working on my abs feels like I'm working on a body part that doesn't exist....

I guess if it takes a week to fully recover my arms i can go Thursday or Friday and work on my "abs," and leave. Then wait until Monday and hopefully by Monday I can start training my arms again...

I did more than work on my abs when I was there. I made workouts recording each machine so I can plan my workouts. There are 17 machines including ab machines... that's kinda too many to do on machine day...

I got to create 3 exercise programs that evenly spread out, arms, chest, shoulders, back and abs... and somehow feel like I'm hitting the gym in the best way.. cause I'm begging my body please recover soon otherwise we wasted a ton of money and I mean what am I going to do? I can't run and I want to workout and I'll take it easier... I promise I'll take it much easier...

Maybe we can do hours sessions 5 days a week or 3, 1 hour and 30 minutes sessions to maybe 2 hours but with more spread out workouts between muscle groups.

I'm getting my testosterone shot Wednesday and you have to idea how badly I hope by Thursday I can really hit the gym.. maybe i should only do 10 dumbbell exercises on my arms in one day. And maybe 10 machines on another day. And maybe 5 dumbbell exercises and 5 machines a different day.. idk. I just want to reach full recovery..

My shoulders and pecs are basically 100%. Id say My biceps are probably 95%.. my triceps I'd say are 100%.. but my forearms can't fucking do it. And i need them and I'm fucking depressed about it. I keep worrying I tore a tendon or ligament but it's not severely painful and I don't have any symptoms. I just over trained and now I'm paying for it with recovery time and it sucks. I'll never do it again... I'll work out half or even less of what I was doing before i fucked myself up and then maybe go more when I see how i do.

I'm begging my body to let me go. I want to go everyday. I have nothing else going for me. I don't think I'm permanently damaged... I just think I'm damaged enough that Monday may be the safest day to start which is saddening bc that's a week from now and I can't do anything but abs and legs and I really won't be doing legs. I don't see the point.. and abs really seem pointless. I'm chubby. I'm never going to lose my belly fat. They will never show. And I'm okay with that. I just want to work on my arms, back and chest.

When I was out today my forearms felt cool which is weird... it was about 2 hours almost since I worked out and i hardly used them at all.... so I mean idk. It could be low blood sugar... I have no idea.

Tomorrow bc i can't go to the gym and i don't need to go grocery shopping i have nothing to do... I'm depressed about it. I won't need to shop until like Saturday or Friday... and yea until I can gym, I have nothing else to do..

I was using an ab machine and I kinda got hard.. I know that's weird... it worked out my pelvis too. Idk. My dick got hard that's all I know..

I want to masterbate but yea I'm bored, I want to make love.

Tomorrow is going to be so boring and I already shaved my body. I try so hard to keep myself busy but I have no one to talk to and nothing to do without the gym..

I guess i could have a red bull day tomorrow maybe. But idk. I got to figure something out it's been a while since I gamed. But I'm bored with my life.

I'm really depressed that I am still single. That I have nothing going for me and that i can't even really workout at the gym.

I just feel like my life is pointless. I got to keep believing in my love story otherwise I'm going to commit suicide.

I do not see the point in continuing to live like this bc even when/if Riley leaves, I still have nothing. And my family isn't rehoming her for me and my thyriod. They don't care about me.

I'll never be a husband or a father. I'll never be an anyone. And no one will ever date me again. I'm going to be single forever.

I only tricked Katie into dating me bc I told her i was working on my masters degree when we first met... if I told her i was disabled and not in school and not working she would have never dated me. I mean I wasn't really working on my masters but I hadn't finished the program and I did finish it while i dated her... but I mean.... you know.... I can't tell anyone im doing anything with my life now..

I tricked her into thinking i was going to be a someone and she resented me for lying to her about working on my masters. She was like you said you were studying... and I was like I mean I prob was but I dont remember...

I have nothing to tell anyone I'm doing with my life if any girl ever thought i was cute.

All i can say is id be a great stay at home dad. I can be home all day.. most women want a provider. I am not being sexist. Most men want a provider too... two income families are almost entirely required to function without kids at this point................. so yea ain't no one going to see any reason to date me.

No women like bald guys with glasses who are short who have no job and don't go to school. And someone who is very mentally ill.

I feel like my hallucination has been worse.. it's the same really. But it never stops. And I often feel like all these tasks I give myself I'm actually trying to run away from myself. I'm not joking. I'm trying to run away from myself by keeping myself busy so I don't think too much so I don't hallucinate as much.

I want to run away from myself. Suicide is the only escape.

Or a loving real family and people who actually care about me and support me. I don't have that and I'm never going to have that. December 1st seems like a good time to get a cabin and have a peaceful suicide. Best part is if I do it the night before my stay ends the owner will find my body and I will be identified. And sent home. I hope I get buried under a beautiful tree.

[lastoneout]

Ngl I think I am truly about to hit my fucking limit and idk what to do about it anymore.

Ever since my nerve block wore off my migraines have been worse than they've ever been before in my entire life, like I'm literally having one every single day, and I now have severe neck pain on top of it which is also constant, and legit none of my doctors give a single solitary shit.

I tried to bring this up with my pain clinic and the guy just said it was good that the nerve block helped for a month or so, and that my current issues were just muscle pain and I need to go to PT about it, and I can't get in with a new pain clinic bcs my primary never gave me the referral she said she would and no matter how many times I call the clinic and leave messages about it no one ever calls me back.

My neurologist just seems confused that I'm still having migraines despite being on like 6 medications that are supposed to help manage them and she says it in a way that really makes me feel like she thinks it's somehow my fault, and when I brought up the neck pain she just told me to take ibuprofen even though I've told her repeatedly that it doesn't help, and she also said I should do the nerve block again even though it put me in the ER and made everything worse in the long run. Plus I'm pretty sure she'd just prescribe another steroid taper pack and once again ignore me when I say I'm really sensitive to them and they make me feel like shit and the last one didn't help.

I can't take my rescue meds more than 4 times in 30 days and I've already taken it more than that bcs I was desperate. The steroid taper pack helped for like a week before everything came back just as bad as before. I can't take my fioricet because it messes with my birth control and I had sex less than 5 days ago. I can't take the oxycodone they gave me in the ER bcs it makes my migraines "bounce back" worse once it wears off. Ibuprofen still isn't helping.

Do I call my neurologist? Idk what she's going to do, she doesn't seem to give a shit, and there's a solid chance the on call doctor just refuses to speak to me, and my referral to a new neurologist just got turned down bcs apparently the new clinic "doesn't have anyone who can see me for my problems". My pain clinic also doesn't give a shit and frankly I don't even want to be a patient there anymore since the doctor has just made everything worse. Do I go to the ER? I've been there dozens of times over the last couple of months and they can usually make the pain ago away for a day before I'm right back where I started, and they usually just give me fioricet which again, I do not want to risk pregnancy. Urgent care? They can't do anything to help either.

I'm in pain all the time and nothing is helping and none of my doctors care and I just want everything to fucking stop. I feel so abandoned. Like I'm worthless or broken bcs why else would I be treated this way? Why else would all of my doctors ignore me or reject me or regard me with contempt. Being nice doesn't work. Being confident and blunt makes them angry and thus less likely to help me. Breaking down sobbing in their office doesn't do shit.

I'm so fucking done. I just want this to stop. I'm so tired of being strong and fighting and getting nowhere. Fighting is just making it worse. No one who can help cares. I just want to lay down in my bed and wither away, I guess I deserve it for having the audacity to want better. I can't take this anymore, I really can't. But I don't have options. I just get to suffer.

Like the only way I know to make it clear to people that I'm basically at rock bottom is to admit that I've reached the point where I no longer want to be alive and I absolutely know that saying that to a doctor will lead to more problems than solutions. And like, I'm not going to hurt myself, but I've def hit the "life is not worth living" stage and a migraine has to be pretty fucking bad for me to get there.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

[springlock-suits]

Woagh!

Some violence towards children happening in this round

Had to refix the bonnie arcade and recatch the rat 👍 its so funny to me that we went back to the 80s to catch a rat. This rat has time traveled with the sole purpose of getting nearly hit with a broom. We had to use the power of time travel to find a rat. Incredible.

Wooo went back to Freddy’s and the power is still on!

Wait springbonnie hold on you better not be heading for the generator right now

He wasn't! Just checking out the stage :)

Oh man wait hold up, is this game gonna keep adding animatronics to hide from? Are Freddy, Foxy, Bonnie, Chica, and Springbonnie all gonna be roaming around? Oh man,

PHONE GUY,,,,, not the original voice but phone guy,,,,

Went to the entrance via storage room vent, and stayed inside it bc I heard Springbonnie coming. I was wondering what the animatronics would do about Oz, turns out absolutely nothing. Wait is this kids name Oz, I thought that's what we're calling Oswald. What are his friends names again?

Man, I really need to try using the phone in Freddy’s one day, I keep getting distracted by running for my life

The school calendar doesn't seem to change as days pass, though I didn't take the time to count, I expected that. Whatever the day is you're first allowed in the school must be the 16th

Oh dang I accidentally escaped the house too fast, I wanted to explore more, especially the attic

Hey what happens if I call 911

Got an achievement!

Wish there was somewhere to hide in the kitchen, I want to listen to Phone Guy!

Not giving up on this, I WILL listen to the full call

Gave up on this, I did not listen to the full call. It seems a bit luck based if you can hear it in full

If you use your phone in Freddy’s it's just the voicemails

Played arcades in Freddy's with the tokens! The save the children, collect that hats, and freddy puzzle slide

Bonnie! Ah, would could lure him out,,,

Oh! A toy freddy! That's for the firecracker kid for sure! Eh, what's the prize gonna be for then,,,

Rereading the sketchbook, maybe Bonnie needs his guitar, and guitar strings, gonna go th the mill in Jeff time then

I died and now the toy Freddy is no longer in my inventory, and won't respawn at the presents, fuck. Oh that's really really bad. Gonna exit the game and try again

Oh we are doomed. Oswald is very much under the impression he took the toy Freddy already because when I interact with the presents he says "nothing else here"

OKAY. Got into the suit and crawled out and it let me pick up the Freddy? I literally did that earlier?? And it didn't work?? Oh well guess we keep moving on with this one. And not die until the ballpit is reached

Ok nothing at the Mill actually. I am simply too ahead of the game (I now have no clue what to distract Bonnie with) (I am now much more nervous to explore and try things with the knowledge an item I picked up could disappear and not show up again) (I remain a firm hater of autosave only games)

WAIT

THE FREDDY

Could I go to the library and the fireworks are for Bonnie???

No, darn, I really thought I was onto something there, I guess I'll go to backstage in Freddy’s? Bonnie's guitar notes are really the only clue I have here

New dialogue and new quest! ..."find something to fix the guitar" ,,, ah,, to the mill I go then.

The strings were there 😊. You just gotta go to the guitar first to make them appear. Alas. Also my school bully I forgot the name of was there with a camera for some reason. Guess I'll find out next school day!

Is it really time travel though? Or more like dimension travel? I little space stuck in June 1985, where Springbonnie manifests as some monster because that's what the kids feel of him. Ah. Springbonnie and the whole "time travel" thing being a pocket of fear is a bit hindered by the rat though, since it was a real living rat taken out of there. By pocket of fear I guess I'm calling this a bit of a coraline situation for oswald

They tied Chip up to a machine to continuously get hit by a mallet?? Bonnie what??

The other child's name is make. Chip and Mike. I can remember this <-lying voice

A freddy mask just fell from the attic, also a tradeable item,,

I traded toy freddy for the firecracker, I wonder what would've happened if I tried other items? Would they have worked?

Oswald hit his bully, Freddy’s is really getting to him, and his first instinct was to go back to the ballpit after doing so

I'm sticking with this being a vague Coraline situation

THERE IS A PLACE TO HIDE IN THE KITCHEN. I MISSED OUT ON THE SECOND CALL FOR NO REASON. slams table in anger or something

Oh I guess we're using the firecracker right now then

I have 4 of 5 if dad's items, I don't have the 4th, did I miss it somewhere?

Got the prize item! A handheld gaming device, also tradable

All the stickers!

Another minigame in the prize machine. Um. I have been,,, eaten alive by a silver and blue robot dog...? I collected 6 balloons, and the 6th turned it purple, what if i collect 5

Dog room doesn't spawn unless you collect all 6. Also, this minigame seems to be based on the game's map. If so I think the dog room is in the Party Room springbonnie killed those kids in

Your character sprints out of the room as soon as all the balloons are placed, dog giving chase. And of course, the letters "c" "u" appear. See you? Or are there any relevant words that start with cu

Oh Springbonnie locked the girl in the freezer, which is less horrifying than my original assumption that she was getting put in the oven

Now where can I find something to smash the door open, probably in Jeff's?

Into the pit live blog! Gonna be putting these under readmores to avoid giving people spoilers as much as I can :p

I'll be waiting through this as I go, maybe each post will be until I reach 10 images, or am done playing for a bit

What does this even mean. I guess Creepy is easy and Frightening is medium?

I guess I'm going with Frights

Had to adjust the screen size, and we have a map! Fun, can't wait to make this in Minecraft

I simultaneously don't care for and adore this artstyle, I think it's just the sprites of people throwing me off

Ooo really old county fair ad poster

I really like the look of Jeff's pizza here, I'll be honest reading the book I was just imagining it as a very empty room. Now there's like. Walls and stuff. Incredible.

A mysterious pile of pixels, and old Freddy's stuff! Chairs most visibly. I can't tell if that head is a freddy or not

They did well with the painted over mural look!

bdjsbdks

Man it's always so fun to see Freddy's in action, I like the checkered tables in the entrance

OSWALD NO

Also, June 1985! June 26th is when two kids got lured to the backroom in late hours, later to be discovered 5 kids were linked to the case (man I'm so glad I just checked the fnaf 1 hall papers so I could put them in my room, helps me remember)

Getting in the suit is the only way to progress 😔

Ok getting in the suit wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be (I don't get caught by an employee and get in trouble for it)

Springbonnie is so creature here it's so fun. And oooh holding your breath mechanic,,

Sudden darkness and screaming! This is very fun so far

I had to leave to run errands now though 😔, so I guess I'll end part 1 of the live blog here! Keeping all my thoughts in one post as to not flood dashes and tags alike bdkbsks

[whoreadsnowadays]

hi 👁👁 first i just wanna say that u are so awesome. and like the other person said, u have great vibes💪 ur blog feels very home-y if that makes sense 😨

ANYWAYS. if i may… can i request a rottmnt leo x reader where leo is yk super flirty with them all the time (and they’re just like 😒) but one day reader says like a super good pick up line to him and he’s like 😳😳😳 LMFAOSBDKSN sorry i just love seeing blushy leo it’s like my fav thing ever

also i hope u have a great day/night!!!

:0.. dude that's so sweet I'm flattered !!!! I'm glad my blog has a homey feel to it, it's good to hear people enjoy my stuff and my vibes :]

and of course- YESSSSS YES YES YES BLUSHY LEO <3<3 I adore him sm

Honestly I had to edit this a bunch to get it to where it is, bc I just couldn't get the story to feel the way I wanted, but I'm quite happy with it now :) so hopefully you enjoy it too!

-

( Romantic ) Rise! Leo x Gender Neutral Reader (they/them pronouns used in fic)

Warnings: curse words, nothing else that I can think of

-

Fluster The Flirt

Leo knows plenty of things, even if Donnie likes to disagree. He can make plans, charm his way out of most trouble, and he's pretty confident in his ability to play medic. One thing he doesn't know, surprisingly, is romance.

So when he fell for you (and he fell /hard/) he had absolutely no idea what to do. So.. he did the only thing he really knew /how/ to do. Flirt. Badly Flirt.

Of course you had to catch on eventually. And fortunately for him, eventually would be sooner than he thought.

You were hanging in the arcade with the boys one saturday afternoon, when suddenly Leo was leaning himself against your back, and grinning that dumb fucking grin of his.

So you sighed, turning your head a bit to give Leo the attention he so obviously desired.

"Hello my wonderful and brilliant friend. How are we on this fine evening?" He asked, moving his arms to rest over your shoulders, just barely stopping himself from cuddling up to you entirely.

Raph gave him an odd look from across the room. "Leo, it's noon."

You watched as Leo's expression quickly shifted to a glare in Raph's direction. "Hush. Let them answer." And in an instant his attention was back on you, blinking up at you with his big puppy eyes.

You hummed, reaching up to gently pat Leo's arm, your silent request for him to remove himself from your shoulders. "I'm fine Leo. Just watching Mikey and Don play.. whatever they're playing? Honestly I haven't been paying attention."

"Well to fill you in!" Donnie cut in, right as Leo (a bit reluctantly) detangled himself from you, "Mikey is currently being beaten to a pulp by yours truly!"

"Not for long!" Mikey exclaimed, before pressing some long sequence of buttons, resulting in Donnie letting out a long string of indignant bird like noises.

You smiled and rolled your eyes at them, before turning back to Leo. "Yeah, that's what I'm up to. Barely paying attention to Dee's annoyed squawks."

"Hey!"

Leo hummed and nodded, both of you ignoring Donnie's offended exclamation.

"So.. what I'm hearing is, you're free to hang out?" He asked, leaning a bit more into your personal space.

You smiled and hummed, crossing your arms and tilting your head at him.

"I guess I am. Why? You wanna ask me out?" You didn't even realize what you were saying until it had already come out of your mouth. And instantly your heart dropped to your stomach, dread filling the empty space.

But then Leo's smile wobbled, and so did he. He almost fell forward, but quickly pulled himself back up to his feet, and if you weren't mistaken, you could've sworn you'd seen a blush on his face.

"Uh well, uhm, if you- uh-" he stumbled over his words, silently cursing himself as he tried to get out even a single sentence.

You blinked, watching as he averted his gaze to the floor between the both of you. And as he continued to stumble over himself, you came to a sudden realization.

He liked you. He liked you just as much, if not more, than you liked him.

You smiled as Leo finally pulled himself together enough to look at you again, a more nervous version of his usual grin on his face.

"Well.. yknow uh, it could be.. a.." he trailed off, and you hummed.

"Sure."

He blinked, looking at you with wide eyes. "..seriously?"

"Mhm. Sure. How does tonight sound?" You asked, watching as he slowly bobbed his head in a nod.

"Uh yeah- Yeah! Yeah sure! That's cool, great even, awesome!" He grinned, balling his hands into fists at his sides, just barely keeping his excitement in check.

"Cool, uhm.." you glanced over at the others, noting that they were all crowded around the arcade game, paying no mind to the two of you.

You smiled and turned back to Leo, "Meet me at the park by the library." You hummed and quickly grabbed one of Leo's fists, pressing a quick kiss to the back of his hand before turning and quickly making your way out of the lair.

You were too embarrassed to stick around, so you rushed home as quick as you could. But in your haste, you missed the way Leo gaped at his hand after you kissed it, the wide lovestruck stare he gave you as you scurried off, and the way he jumped and squealed and celebrated as soon as he was in the comfort of his room.

Surely the date you hastily planned would be one to remember, but for now you could both simply relish in the excitement and anxiety that new love brought.

[idle-compy]

alright!! I am done for tonight

here's my defintely super comprehensible live thoughts while playing

** SPOILERS BELOW **

DARIUS I MISSED U

SHIT

oh nvm thought I killed him already

ben why u running off

TO GO EAT BUGS OF COURSE

DARIUS NO

MY BOY

I KILLED HIM

DO NOT CHOOSE RUN NOW

ooh they mentioned owen

who's the old guy

probably good time to mention I haven't seen any of the jw movies so if he's relevant I have no idea

heck yeah I'm bringing bumpy

WHY DOES MY AUDIO KEEP CUTTING OUT EVERY TIME I MAKE A DECISION STOP

nothing good ever happens in the tunnel so we're going to main street !!

I DIDNT LIKE THAT LOOK

SHIT BLUE

BEN WHY DID U SPLIT UP MAN

HA BUMPY SAVED HIM I CHOSE RIGHT BRINGING HER

MAIN STREET

oh no it's rexy

OH NO SHE FOUND THE KIDS

wow they're bad a hiding

DARIUS DO NOT GO AFTER THE PAGE SIR

darius THIS SEEMS LIKE A REALLY BAD IDEA

ben actually excited to drive the gyrosphere

wow ok he rear ended yaz and sammy license revoked sir

DAMN YAZ IS TEARING INTO HIS SOUL

a fine example of my road rage tho

YAZ SAMMY NO THEY'RE GONNA BE CRUSHED

sorry ben not trusting u ramming that gyrosphere sounds fun

WAIT NO

I SHOULDVE TRUSTED U BEN IM SORRY

now he's dead 😔

my current kill count is 3 I am doing very bad

THE CONSTANT NABS AT DARIUS AND HIS SMELL

that sounds like a clue for later can't wait to forget it

TNE TARBOS BACK

heck yeah coaster time

KENJIS FACE

they've been steady making fun of the parks safety protocols and ykw as they should

darius u are NOT jumping in that water

I guess he IS jumping in that water bc if he doesn't they all die

TARBOS BACK AGAIN ???

oh nvm she left

kenji was so confident 1234 would work

AND THE TARBOS BACK AGAIN GEEZ

THE ANSWERS 2005 I GUESS RIGHT

the way I'd immediately move into that bunker

this brimford man already has more outfit changes than the kids

he straight talking truth tho

theyre so happy :')

----

GONNA RESTART but choose everything different

so either choice darius just fucking falls

OH BUT DIFFERENT CAMPERS FOUND HIM

sorry bumps ir staying behind this time

dang they found the paper so much sooner without her

aw darius gave her hope her pack was still alive

SPOOKY TUNNELS

oh everyone's fighting

"I could tell a joke or hit em with a super cool dino fact" DARIUS UR SO PURE

yes sammy use that corn maze sense

KENJIS GETTING SAVAGED BY THOSE THINGS GEEZ

"raptor rats"

I saw sneaking past in a clip I'm retacing their steps

OH GOD I KILLED DARIUS AGAIN

guess they're NOT retracing their steps

"did u know ankylosauruses like mangoes 👍😀👍" "I did not 👍😀👍"

NOT THE CAR BEING A RIDE

everyone else on the ride: 😒

sammy and yaz: 😀

WHY DO CARS ALWAYS FLIP WHEN YAZ IS BEHIND THE WHEEL

TORO BABY ITS U AGAIN

"I'll be fine! ... probably"

DARIUS BUD I KNOW I CHOSE THIS OPTION BUT WHY

WHY WOULD THEY LOCK TORO IN THERE WITH THE TARBO SYOP TORTURING HIM

THE DRUMROLL I DIDNT GET THAT FIRST TIME

ben said forget eating bumpy gets mangoes

going back again just to see what escaping before going in the bunker does

oh they still survive ??

but they didn't get any food :(

"what one food would u want in it"

"coffee"

"I could go for a carob juice"

"teriyaki beef jerky"

"can you freeze dry pizza"

"canned lobster in butter sauce"

"I'd go for my mom's famous..."

crying

[willel]

No because yeah, I mean even Joyce doesn't actually think, by I mean really think, that it is weird. It didn't happen one time. Let's say the first time (kidnapping) was weird and coincidental. But then after that? It happened 3-4 times, so, it is a pattern. I am trying to understand the writing logic bc even Joyce, the brain and the one who is always right, doesn't actually think on this in a real way.

Do they think Will just ends up unlucky everytime or something? How many times it must happen for the characters to actually think, I just wonder because even Mike wasn't like ''wait Will, that is weird as fuck'' when he heard what Will said in S4 at the cabin scene. He was just worried. Are we just waiting for the moment where Vecna will give a long monologue and that is when it will click for the characters? Because that is weird af and kinda ridiculous from a writing POV. Because, even then, it still stands that the characters should have actually thought about this before the eventual villain monologue, you know? Will is the only character (aside from maybe El) who has been connected to that place since S1. And even El herself isn't connected to it in a literal sense, as she cannot feel the dimension or its creatures, she cannot sense them or the place. Will is the only one who can do that, plus, he also has been the only one to be targeted since S1 specifically without getting killed too. So where is the logic???

I guess if Vecna does give a long monologue about how Will was integral to his plans all along, it won't just be for the Stranger Things characters who are surprised.

WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING YET, but there is a slice of this fandom who are convinced that it must be a coincidence and nothing else. I'm not talking about the nice open minded anons that sometimes discuss/debate with me whether or not it was a coincidence (cause I find that fun and it makes me think), I'm talking about the malicious kind of people and even the general audience who doesn't seem to notice anything... weird about all this.

Maybe Will being a major part of all this is supposed to be a surprise??? Maybe the Duffers aren't expecting the general audience to be connected the Will and Vecna dots??? Maybe they want the characters to be just as oblivious as some of the general audience?

I'll give Joyce a LITTLE slack because she was not with Will in season 3 or 4 and I doubt he told her, "Hey um mom? I still feel Upside Down stuff." As we know, he really dislikes her helicopter tendencies no matter how justified she is. By the time she arrived on the scene, what he was feeling didn't matter. They already had a plan in the mall and when she arrived at the cabin most of the danger was over. Maybe once he tells her everything she'll start putting pieces together? Maybe she'll be like "Um, why didn't anyone tell me this sooner? Hello? This is bad! We need to be careful!"

But still..... it really surprises me that El hasn't really acknowledged it in season 4 either. We just saw how Vecna systematically torments and track his victims through Max. How a psychic connection between them is a dangerous link to have and that it doesn't just go away or go unnoticed. Isn't El like "Oh no, I think Will might be in danger?" Like... she KNOWS he can still feel this stuff because of what he said in season 3. Has she really not connected the dots yet?

El heard Max's "I can still feel him. I'm still.... marked." speech.

If this is on purpose from a writing standpoint, then all the main characters are a little bit too comfortable, too confident, and are NOT suspicious enough or being careful enough. Will (against his will) killed the entire Hawkins facility barely even 2 years ago because they were too slow to realize what was going on.

It's like one of the big answers is staring them in the face but they aren't connecting the dots. But as an audience member, these dots feel like freakin' lasers.

[spelviin]

ok now time for theorizing GOD i have missed this shit

disclaimer: this is just for funsies and i'm not like, hanging all my hopes and dreams on any of this shit pls do not take any of it seriously. theorizing abt the things i love is just how i scrape together my serotonin in this life and BOY was this a gold mine for it.

first of all, kid names/whose kids they are:

already said this, but im convinced taylor is lil (or big now i guess oh god) nicky's kid, taylor swift.

cliche, but i do think the idea of grant "big gamers only" wilson naming his kid link to remind him of better times is very funny and will imagine so until proven otherwise in 2 weeks.

normal is, ironically, the wild card in my mind. most likely TJ's kid, which i am v stoked abt bc if they are we might FINALLY find out what his last name was

also partially my best guess bc i can defs see lark not wanting kids, for fear of passing on the family curse. like yeah they're likely not active vessels for the doodler anymore, having puked it up in the finale, but im convinced there's defs some sort of residual connection or influence that is has over them, and i can see lark not wanting to risk it.

would also, however, accept grant and one of the other sons (they're still the sons to me whatever idk how else to address them without it getting complicated) are together and one of the kids is both of theirs

as for the fourth kid, this is near-completely based on my own personal ideas and not based in any sort of reality at all, BUT in the immortal words of a certain esteemed story boy and daddy, bear with me:

i really like the idea that lark and sparrow had some sort of falling out after the events of season 1

whether that falling out happened immediately after The Stabbening or later on after the OG daddies' plan failed, i just think a schism between the brothers is a really nice juicy hook/conflict to base this season around

so basically my working theory is this: at some point after the apocalypse kicked off, lark realized what he'd done and vowed to fix what he helped break, and signed on to work for DADDIES to do so

sparrow, on the other hand, saw how broken the world was, and ended up following more in his grandfather's footsteps (paying off the fact that he was showing some slightly barry-ish tendencies towards the end there that could, unchecked, very feasibly dip into the realm of toxic positivity) and decided the best thing to do would be to use whatever power he had to fix it

by "fixing it" i mean using his connection with the doodler to befriend it, and help shape the new world into a peaceful and harmonious utopia

aka, sparrow becomes the founder and leader of the Acolytes and is actively working with/for the doodler

so basically my working theory on the fourth child is, what if it's sparrow's kid, sent to infiltrate DADDIES and sabotage their efforts to overthrow the doodler from the inside

and that's why lark didn't mention them, bc he doesn't know his own niece/nephew/nibling even EXISTS bc he hasn't spoken to his brother in years

and then there's the whole code purple thing which is defs daddy magic adjacent and im guessing means "consult the o-dads" or take off barry's bracelets or something, which, if that's the case, i'm VERY interested to know how that went last time lmao.

and also there's the whole obsidian door thing which i got nothing at all on but like, i literally just got home from work, gimme a few days and im sure i'll be grasping at straws abt it somehow lmao

anyways, tl;dr i am SO FUCKING STOKED to have something to make my dumb theories about again and even though i'm defs wrong abt all of this, i'm just really excited to hear whatever the actual plot ends up being