#nothing actually ever Happened with us but raking it all over in my head the what ifs that might have made that different!!!

[bcolfanfic]

girls don’t ever have a ??? what is this ??? breakneck-speed-developing friendship with a girl you meet during study abroad, who met a boy during study abroad and was dating him the whole time while also ditching him to be with you. don’t go across germany with her for the weekend to meet her extended family and have them tell you they thought you’d known each other for years not 3 weeks. dont walk around an old church with her family and see her down the pew having a moment to herself praying. don’t have a (: haha what (: smiling at each other moment in her grandma’s backyard. it will haunt you for the rest of your waking life.

[pit-and-the-pen]

Three's a crowd

Summary: After finding out your mate, Cassian, had slept with Nesta you let slip that you wouldn't mind her joining you and Cassian.

Cassian x reader established relationship, Smut (18+)Female reader, m/f/f threesome, mean dom Nesta, soft dom Cassian, Sub reader, impact play, subspace kinda, fingering, oral (m/f receiving), orgasm denial, lots of praise, lots of safe word checks. Two mentions of spit. 

Idea by the lovely @sarawritestories <3

divider by @tsunami-of-tears

It started out as an innocent story telling session with your family. Nothing out of the ordinary, a bottle or two of wine shared in your cozy living room. Nesta, Emery, Gwen and you sitting on your couches feet tucked up as laughter filled the air. Your mate, Cassian, was out grabbing a few drinks with his brothers at Rita’s so naturally you invited all your friends. 

The hours passed like minutes, Gwen recounting some story about a unicorn that had Nesta and Emery roaring with laughter, shouting over each other with “That’s not how it happened!” “Tell it right, Gwen!”

“What he did like me more. I know you were too busy getting your world rocked by Cas to remember anything correctly but-” Gwen gasped before clamping a hand over her mouth. You felt your eyes widen, letting the words sink in. “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I…shit.” The red head knocked back the rest of her glass of wine. Nesta’s cheeks had tinged pink right up to the long tips of her ears. 

“It’s fine. I promise.” You said, taking a long sip of your own. Nesta’s head snapped to yours. 

“What?”

“It’s no big deal. If I got jealous over every person Cassian has ever slept with, I would never know a moment of peace.” You laughed lightly to yourself. And you truly didn’t mind. Maybe only slightly because she hasn't told you but that’s the past. 

“Did I hear my name?” Speak of the devil. Cassian strolled into the living room, pressing a quick peck to the top of your head as he flopped down onto the couch next to you. 

“Only talking about how much of a rake you used to be.” Another laugh drew out of you at his faux scandalized face. 

“Me?” 

“Yes you.” You poked right in between his ribs and he jumped slightly. Playfully batting away your hand. 

“And why, pray tell, are we discussing that?” 

“Gwen said you slept with Nesta. Well I believe her exact words were ‘rocking Nesta’s world’” Cassian’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head. You brushed a gentle hand on his cheek. “And I was just telling her that I’m fine with it.”

“You are?” You only nodded, draining the rest of your wine glass. 

“It was forever ago. I haven't even met you yet.” He tried to explain, words tumbling out. 

“Cas.” You cut him off, placing a hand on his thigh. “I really really don’t mind. I mean who wouldn’t want to sleep with Nesta.” It was your turn to blush. The sound of Gwen sputtering reminded you that you were in your very full living room that suddenly felt very small. You shot up to your feet, nearly stumbling over your own limbs. 

“I’m going to grab more wine.” You practically shouted and turned to leave the room. Trying not to run to the small wine cabinet, you were cursing yourself mentally. 

“You got out of there pretty fast.” Cassian said, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“I don’t know how I’m ever supposed to look her in the eye again.” You groaned, pressing your forehead against the cool wood of the cabinet. 

“Very easily actually. Did you mean it though?” 

“What part?” Your breath hitched in your throat as Cassian kissed up your neck. 

“Do you want to sleep with Nesta?” Your heartbeat sped up as you tried to fight back the thoughts. Nesta was gorgeous, anyone with eyes could see that. And you’d be lying if you said you never considered it. You loved your mate wholeheartedly but there was nothing wrong with looking. It wasn’t uncommon for you and Cassian to point out a fae or two that caught your eye at Rita’s, so this was no different. 

“Princess?” Cassian froze, mouth hovering right over your pulse point. 

“Would you be mad if I said yes?” Your voice was small, cheeks burning hot. He chuckled against your neck, continuing his path of kisses. 

“No.” His mouth was right against your ear. “Do you want her to join us in our bed?” He practically purred it and you gasped as his teeth toyed with your ear lobe. You could only nod your head. “Interesting. I’ll talk to her. But, be warned princess. She’s just as vicious in bed as she is out of bed.” He left one final bite to the column of your throat and unwrapped himself from around you. Leaving you trembling and wondering just exactly what you had gotten yourself into. And oh so excited for it. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

“Why don’t you go over your colors for Nesta, Princess.” Cassian’s hand rested lightly on your jaw, tugging your face up to look at him. You knelt in front of him, naked with your palms resting on your thighs.

“Yes, General. Green is okay, yellow means slow down or I’m starting to get uncomfortable. And red means stop.”

“Good girl.” Cassian said, running a hand through your hair. “And if you can’t talk? Like if Nesta was sitting on that pretty little face of yours?” Your breath hitched at the image he painted for you. You licked your lips as you let your mind wander. A slight tap on your head pulled you out of your dirty thoughts. 

“Right. One tap is good, two means slow down, and three is stop.” 

“Good girl. Now our rules are I can touch you, Nesta, but no fucking. Anything else I’m missing, princess?” 

“No, General.”

“Alright. Now show Nesta just exactly how good you can be.” He stepped back, letting Nesta step in front of you. 

“Can I touch you?” She asked, eyes roving over your naked form. She still had on a silk robe, tied loosely but covering anything that mattered. 

“Yes.” You said and her hand instantly tangled into the roots of your hair, pulling your head back to the ceiling. A small yelp left your mouth and she gave you a feline smile. 

“Oh you’re going to be fun to play with.” 

Nesta didn’t waste time before she had you ass up on the bed. Circling you with your favorite paddle in her hand. Your head was in Cassian’s lap, his straining cock right in front of you, throbbing, as you ran the tip of your tongue out to trace the veins that ran underneath. 

A loud smack filled the room and your shriek died off to a moan. 

“No touching him, yet.” She called out. You whimpered and Cassian ran a gentle hand through your hair. Another smack. 

“No touching her either, General.” She teased. “You have to earn touching him.” One more smack, harder than the others. Your foot kicked up at the feeling. The tinge of delicious pain that ran through you making you moan loudly. 

Nesta delivered hit after hit until tears stung your eyes. Cries bubbling out of your throat. Cassian’s cock was leaking, listening to your sweet noises but not being able to touch you. His hands were clenched tight by his side, fighting the urge to thread his fingers into your hair and push you down onto his aching cock. 

One last smack pulled a yelp from your throat. Slightly different from the others. Cassian swore under his breath. 

“Gods Nesta. I don’t even hit that hard during punishments.” He tapped your cheek lightly, asking for your eyes on him. You did so instantly. “Color?”

“Green. Very much green.” 

Another sharp hit, the paddle whipping through the air. 

“Is that how you address him?” Nesta asked. You shook your head. 

“No. I’m sorry, General.” 

Cassian had his eyes narrowed on Nesta as he answered you. “It’s okay, Princess. You’re doing great.” You didn’t need to see Nesta to know she rolled her eyes, a small sigh leaving her lips. 

“Aren’t you just dying to get your mouth around him?” She purred as her hand started rubbing at your now red backside. You nodded, which earned you a small snack with her hand this time. 

“Gods. Yes.” You answered. Her hand gently ran up the curve of your back, her lithe body following it until she was leaning over you. 

“Then put that pretty mouth to use, or is it only good for screaming?” You didn’t get a chance to answer before she tangled a hand into your hair and pulled you onto Cassian rock hard cock. His loud moan echoed through the room as he instantly hit the back of your throat. You gagged, trying to breathe through your nose. A string of curses left his mouth and his hand tried to rest on your head. The sound of a sharp slap filled the room as Nesta smacked his hand away. 

“I didn’t say you could touch her yet.” She hissed and pulled you off of him. A string of spit connecting your lips and the tip of him. “Color?” She asked you, you didn’t hesitate. 

“Green.” 

Her eyes flickered back to Cassian.

“See. She can take it. Now keep your hands to yourself before I tie them up.” She winked and that was all the time you got before she was pushing you back down onto Cassian. You were better prepared this time. Relaxing your throat and taking a short breath through your nose. Nesta praised you as she pulled your head up and down, controlling your every move. You were a whining mess under her as you wanted to be able to touch Cassian, run your hands up and down his thick thighs, cup his heavy balls the way that would make him moan your name and have him spill down your throat. 

“Enough.” She said and pulled you off of him again. She kept tugging until you were sitting on your knees, chest heaving as you gulped down precious air. Her hands rest lightly around your neck and she pushes you back against the bed, your hair hanging over the edge. 

She slings her legs over your chest, putting all of her weight right in the center. She curls a finger at Cassian, beckoning him to you. 

“Make her scream, General.” She purrs at Cassian and that’s all it takes for him to throw your legs apart. He runs a finger through your folds and groans when he finds you soaked. He thrusts two fingers into you, scissoring them to stretch you out for him. 

“Are you ready for me, princess? Think you can take me?” He coos and you cry your yes. Followed by a string of please. The words die off in your throat as he pushes his tip in. Your eyes flutter closed at the feeling of your mate entering you. 

Cassian sinks into you fully as Nesta’s fingers give your nipples a harsh tug. Your moan is quickly cut off by her thumb sliding into your mouth. 

“I think that’s a much better use for that loud mouth of yours, don’t you think Cas?” Your skin flushed as she talked about you like you weren’t even there. Cassian’s only answer was a sharp thrust of his hips, a move that would have sent you further up the bed if it wasn’t for Nesta’s weight on the center of your chest. His finger rubbing tight lethal circles on your clit. 

“Fuck. Everytime, it’s like you were made for me.” He spoke through clenched teeth. Slowing his thrust down to let you feel every inch of him. 

Your eyes shut close as you felt that coil tighten in your stomach. Biting into Nesta’s thumb as you fought back screams. Your body jolted when Nesta gave your breast a sharp slap. 

“Not yet.” Was all she barked before she pressed that same hand low on your belly. Your body shook as it only served to amplify every thrust, singeing every nerve in your body. 

Your head starts to feel a little fuzzy, slipping into that delicious headspace that only Cassian could give to you. Your hand sneaks across the bed, searching for his warm hand to stop you from fully floating away, not entirely sure of yourself with Nesta around. Nesta’s foot comes to rest on your wrist, pinning it down hard enough that you gasp. Nesta’s weight is off of you instantly. Cassian slipping out of you with a growl. Blinking off the haze in your eyes, you see Cassian holding Nesta’s neck lightly. 

“Cool off Nes.This is her first time. If my mate wants the comfort of my touch, then that’s what she gets. Do you understand?” Cassian growls. Something in Nesta’s eyes switches. That hard edge melts away and a flush rises over her cheeks. She mumbles something under her breath. 

“What was that?” His tone is softer now. Nesta’s eyes don’t meet his. 

“Yes sir.” Her voice is shaky.

Cassian’s eyebrows raise in question. He removes his hand from her neck, sliding it down her body. She shudders at the contact. Cassian leans in close until his mouth is just an inch away from her ear.

“I think you can do better than that, right Nes?” Nesta’s eyes flicker to you. You give her a small nod of encouragement, eyes wide at the scene unfolding in front of you. Still hazy from the orgasm you had been denied. 

“Yes, sir.” Nesta’s words are more firm. Cassian groans at the tone. 

“Better. Now I think we owe our girl over there something, don’t you?” Nesta bites her lip and nods. 

Cassian turns his attention to you “Color, princess?” 

“Y..yellow.” You stuttered out. “Just wanna touch you.” Your voice was small and shaky. The tell tale sign that you were starting to get overstimulated. 

“Are you okay with Nesta staying?” 

You think for a second then nod. His eyes soften and he runs a soothing hand through your hair. He places a kiss on your forehead and you all but melt against him. Dipping your head down to rest in the crook of his neck. His arms wrap around you and he shifts you to his lap, making you straddle him. 

“Like this?” He asks and you nod again. You raise your hips and whimper as you sink down onto him. You throw your head back as he bottoms out, hitting that sweet spot inside you right away. He gives you a few breaths to adjust to the new position. Then he hooks an arm over your shoulder and grinds you down on him, short quick thrusts that pull high pitched mewls from you. 

“Nesta.” You say between cries. The blonde was quickly by your side. You grabbed her cheeks between your hands and pulled her lips to yours. She swallowed every one of your moans, chasing them like they were oxygen. 

One of your hands snaked down her smooth stomach, feeling every muscle that her training has given her until you reach between her thighs. You trailed a tentative finger through her center. Drawing a moan from both of you as you circled her clit, applying the pressure the same way you would to yourself. Her hips bucked at the contact. Her own hand cupping the back of your head as the other started playing with your nipples. You slipped a finger into her, the sound of both of your slick filling the air. You paced your finger to the timing of Cassian’s thrusts. Your legs were shaking around Cassian and he moaned as you clenched around him. 

“Good girl. Fuck, you gonna cum all over my cock?” You moaned your yes. Not pulling away from Nesta’s soft lips. She nipped at your lower lip as you added another finger into her. Trying to get her to her own release. 

“Go ahead. Gods, you’re squeezing me like crazy, princess.” His words mixed with the sharp tug on your nipples had your whole body tensing. You pulled away from Nesta, fingers stilling inside of her as you came so hard you saw stars. Nesta held your head, Cassian wrapping his arms tight around your waist to crash you against him. Your ears were ringing but you could hear both of them whispering their praises in your ear. A few harsh thrusts from Cassian had him panting your name as he spilled into you. A loud keen flowing from your lips as he fucked you both through it. You're both panting, heads resting against each other when you remember you still had two fingers buried in Nesta. 

You pull off of Cassian, feeling his cum drip down your thigh as he slips out of you. 

“Lay down for me Nes.” You say as you pull your hand away from her cunt. She gives you a sleepy smile and does just that. You make a big show of slipping your fingers into your mouth. Moaning at the taste of her. You’re rewarded with her sharp inhale. You smile down at her and start trailing kisses down her chest. Lower, delivering a soft nip to her stomach, her hip, the inside of her thigh. She tilts her hips up to meet your mouth and you feel Cassian pin her hips to the bed. You look up at the both of them as you lower your mouth to Nesta’s center. 

She moans loudly as you lick a soft stripe between her folds. Her hands are instantly tangling in your hair. You circle her clit with your tongue, once, twice then you tap Cassian’s wrist once. Signaling him to let her go. That’s all it takes for her to start bucking against your face. Using that hand in your hair to push you closer into her. 

You can sense her growing frustration and sneak your hand up, teasing those same fingers inside of her again. Her back arches off the bed and she rides your face. Pushing your fingers deeper inside of her. You curl your fingers, searching for that rougher patch and almost smile when she curses loudly. Her moans quickly raise in pitch. Swears mingling with a garbled version of your name. Her legs try to clamp around your head but Cassian keeps a hand on her knee to stop her. Her moans turn into small mewls as her legs start to shake. You flick your eyes up and lock them with hers. That’s all it takes for her to fall apart on your tongue. Hips still bucking against your face as she rides out her high. You don’t stop your fingers until she’s pushing you away lightly. You drink up every drop off her arousal, leaving her glistening with a mix of it and your spit. You smile widely up at her as she pants, chest heaving, staring up at the ceiling. Her cheeks are tinged pink and she looks so pretty that you want to kiss her. So you do. A much softer kiss than the one you shared earlier. 

When you pull away and turn your face to your mate, you see him hardening against his thigh again. 

“Round two?” You turn back to Nesta, biting your lip. She quickly nods before Cassian is attaching his lips to yours. The groan that you pull from him lets you know just how long this night will be.

[astaroth1357]

The Brothers are Damsels in Distress!!

I was flicking through my feed, saw something and went: "But what if Rapunzel??"

Content: Hints of Fairytale AU, but on crack

Scenario: One morning, through utterly inexplicable means, a portal opens up and drops one of the brothers into a cottage-style tower straight out of a fairy tale. The whole room is enchanted so they can't break out on their own. Their only means of communication are their phones and a crystal ball they can use to see what the MC and others are doing.

How are they taking this?

~♡♡♡~

Lucifer

This man is livid. Fuming. Almost apoplectic.

He has no idea what being has decided to put him in this position, but he's already planning on making them Cerberus' next chewtoy the moment he finds his freedom.

After establishing that he can't teleport out, break the walls, jump out the window, tunnel through the floorboards, or just blow up the room out of spite... he finally accepts his fate.

Lucifer... is miserable. He's doing his best to conserve his phone battery so he can still coordinate with his brothers from a distance, but watching them stumble around cluelessly through the crystal ball is honestly painful. He quite frequently shouts at the feed like a football dad screaming at a TV.

He puts all his hopes in MC and Dia coming up with something because everyone else is mostly useless... There were multiple instances where he just holds his head in his hands, resigning to the idea of being stuck there until he's just a dried out skeleton.

Even if they finally get to him, he won't be happy. He'll be humiliated by the whole affair and trying to anything in his power to save face and get out on his own as much as possible. Anyone who values their lives will forget that it ever happened in the future.

Bonus:

MC: *standing under the tower*

MC: Lucifer! Lucifer!! Let down your-gah!!

*they rub their head and feel something wet hit their fingers*

MC: Was... was that a tomato?!

MC: You know what, fuck you man!! Go help yourself!! 🤬

Mammon

He's flipping out.

An extrovert like Mammon trapped in a room like that all alone?? He'll go stir crazy in three days tops!

It took twenty minutes and 3 selfies for anyone besides the MC to believe that he was trapped in there. ... Then MC raking his brothers over the coals for them to actually start treating it like a priority. He really didn't do it to himself this time, dammit!!

Mammon's ADHD brain is already going mad after a few hours of nothing to do. MC gets piles upon piles of texts ranging from, "Are ya any closer yet??" to "MC, if ya can't get me out of here, take care of Goldie for me... my car too."

They have to reassure him multiple times that he would not, in fact, die in there if they could help it. Though after his phone goes dead from the constant spam, they do start to worry...

If there was any bright side to the situation, Mammon gets to watch his treasured MC absolutely tear his brothers a new one if any one of them so much as think about giving up or postponing the search. Their anger is truly frightening... so good thing he isn't there! Ha!!

When they finally find him, he's never lept for the MC so fast... Literally. He literally jumps. He wants out of there FAST.

Bonus:

MC: *standing under the tower*

MC: Mammon! Mammon!! Let down your-

Mammon: *leaps from the tower, knowing they'll find some way to catch him*

Mammon: FREEDOM!!!

MC: Oh dear God, don't just jump!!! 😫

Leviathan

Panicking like crazy and running around in circles. Can you even comprehend how many premieres he's going to miss like this?? The spoilers!!!

After the MC gets a hold of him through the phone and they tell him to hang tight and if he figures out where he is to let them know.

So uh... He had intends to keep his phone usage down to a minimum so he could conserve the battery life. However, he figures he could at least do his mobile game check-ins and the next thing he knows his phone dies during a weekly dungeon....

Honestly? His soul might have died along with it.

He spends a lot of time staring at the crystal ball, hoping in vain that one of his brothers will watch TV or something, anything that could give him something to do.

That was his only way of communicating with the others and, more importantly, the only source of entertainment an otaku like him could have in a room like this! Does he look like a cottagecore enthusiast?? No!!!

If anyone is in his bedroom, he'll try to zoom in on Henry's fishbowl and talk to him to decompress... He already feels like such an idiot for wasting his battery life. Henry, why is he so stupid...?

Yeah, he's going to be bored and moping until somebody comes to find him. But at least he won't mind the isolation as much so they're not too worried about him going crazy in there. He'll be fine... right?

Bouns:

MC: *standing under the tower*

MC: Leviathan! Leviathan!! Let down your-

Levi: *scrambles to the window* MC, DID YOU BRING A CHARGER?!?

MC: PRIORITIES, LEVI!!!

Satan

He is naturally furious, but also weirdly intrigued. Is this like one of those escape rooms MC sometimes talks to him about...?

Much like Lucifer, he quickly finds that trying to break through stuff wouldn't get him anywhere... as the heavy countertop he smashed into smithereens again the wall shows him.

Tantrum out of his system, Satan is probably the most rational the seven. He does his best to communicate to the others where the tower is based on the landmarks he can see, but he also uses his phone sparingly to conserve the battery.

While they all work to track him down, he keeps himself busy by listening to their plans through the crystal ball or searching for any weak points on his own, because what good would just sitting around do him?

He's surprisingly flexible. If the group plans to look for him from above, he sets out cushions on the floor just in case of any falls. If they want to look for him on foot, he makes sure to light as many candles as possible to give them a makeshift beacon to guide them.

By the time that they actually find him, he's already figured out a couple ways to help get him out depending on the possible exit points and has prepared accordingly.

Bonus:

MC: *standing under the tower*

MC: Satan! Satan!! Let down your-eh?

*they watch as a looong chain of tied together sheets, tablecloths, and towels gets tossed from the window, followed by Satan using it to calmly rappel down*

MC: U-uh.... Never mind! I guess you got this. 😅

Asmodeus

Asmo would be living his best life if only anyone could actually see him up there!

Asmo is all down for playing the role of the helpless, beautiful victim in need of rescuing but how is he supposed to pull that off if he's trapped all alone?? There's no attention! No pageantry!!

After getting the situation across to his brothers, he also kills his phone battery by posting selfies and livestreaming the situation to his adoring public. They're so scared for him, but he's not worried. MC will come find him, after all!

By the time they actually arrive to come get him, Asmo has already dolled himself up to play his newfound role perfectly.

After his phone dies, he keeps himself busy in small ways... Like practicing his relieved expression in a mirror for a few hours. Or using the curtains and his sewing skills to make himself just the cutest gown!

MC: *stand under the tower*

MC: Asmodeus! Asmodeus!! Let down your... hair...?

Asmo: ✨️COMING~!!✨️

*the MC watches as yards and yards of beautiful strawberry blonde trusses indeed gets thrown from the window above, all connected to a very hammy Asmo standing on the window sill*

MC: ... It's only been two days, how did you even grow all that?!?

Beelzebub

Very confused, upset, and hungry. Somebody please help him!!

The minute that Beel sends the message that he is trapped somewhere, it was really all hands on deck. MC and Belphie were freaking out of course, but all of his other brothers were just as worried as well. This is Beel here! He's going to be so hungry out there!!

And hungry he is. He went through an entire two weeks worth of rations stored in the room within an hour. By the end of the day, he's so mindlessly hungry that he starts taking bites out of the tables, chairs, and even his phone...

Since he can't use half of a phone, Beel has to watch his brothers work through the crystal ball while he gnats on the drapery, feeling guilty about making them all so worried...

At least this time his brothers don't argue nor fight with each other at all. Everyone understands what the priorities are and they follow whatever roles they are to the letter. They want to find him ASAP and they even take turns comforting Belphie with MC while they search.

By the time they find him, the whole family is willing to bust through the walls with pickaxes if that's what it takes to get to him. He would feel really touched by all of their efforts, but he's just so hungry... need... food.....

Bonus:

MC: *standing under the tower*

MC: Beel! BEEL!! I BROUGHT BURGERS!!!

Beel: MC... s-so hungry.... 😓

MC: You stay right there, don't move a muscle! I'm coming to you!! 😫

Belphegor

... Deja vu, right?

So this isn’t Belphie's first rodeo. He's practically a "stuffed up somewhere he can't escape from" veteran now. Though this place was more... cozy than the attic.

Call it the cow in him, but he's always had a soft spot for cottagecore. It's so homey and comforting, just perfect for lazy naps under fruit trees! The atmosphere is so relaxing...

So he naps. A LOT.

He ends up communicating a lot more sporadically with everyone than the others. Largely due to the long periods of unconsciousness. But like, could you blame him? What was he even supposed to do in there? MC would figure something out again.

Whenever he goes over to check the progress, he shoots out sarcastic texts about his brothers' dumb ideas to pass the time. It's very apparent how unconcerned he is about this from the get-go...

Does he know when they are on their way to get him? Surprisingly yes. Does he manage to stay awake until they show up? Unsurprisingly no. Go figure...

Bonus:

MC: *standing under the tower*

MC: Belphegor! Belphegor!! Let down your hair!

Belphegor: .....

MC: ... Belphie?

Belphegor: .....

MC: Bitch, are you seriously asleep?!

Belphegor: ....zzzZZzzz....

MC: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!

[sourw0lfs]

STWG Prompt: Ruby

Words: 479 | Rating: E | CW: blood, death, one mention of the cops

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || part seven || part eight || part nine || part ten || part eleven || part twelve

Steve decides immediately that he’s too hungover for this. His head feels like it’s full of cotton as he tries to make sense of the scene in front of him, but nothing about it makes sense. Not matter how long he stares. There are too many blanks, too many questions without answers, for him to puzzle his way through why there’s suddenly a dead body in his one-night-stand’s living room.

His stomach rolls again, and Steve barely manages to stumble back down the hallway and somehow find the bathroom before he actually throws up. Whether it’s from the hangover or from the dead body, he isn’t sure. Maybe it’s from both.

Either way, he spends several moments with his head rested against the cold tile of the bathroom floor, relishing in how it eases the ache in his head enough to try and figure out his next move. He oh so desperately wants to call Robin for help, because she always knows what to do, but the barely functioning logical part of his brain tells him that’s a bad idea, that he shouldn’t get her involved in whatever the fuck happened overnight.

He should call the cops, but that’s how he gets smacked right in the face with a murder charge that isn’t his. Maybe if he just… sneaks out really carefully? It’s not the best idea Steve’s ever had, but it certainly can’t be the worst either, right?

Hauling himself up and using the sink for balance, Steve glances in the mirror to give himself a pep talk. He might have the hangover from hell, but he can do this. The sight in the mirror nearly sends him to the floor again.

He’s covered in blood. And if the scene in the living room is anything to go by, none of it is his. But why the fuck is it all over him? His skin is stained so red it looks like he took a dip in a bath of melted rubies or something. No, Steve, that’s a dumb analogy. Focus!

Hand shaking, Steve reaches up to touch the drying red around his mouth, across the drips that seemingly rolled down his chin and stained his shirt. That’s also when he notices the same dark color under his nails, caked in under the bitten-down tips like they’d raked through the blood.

There’s no way he can sneak out looking like this. And he can’t take the guy’s clothes either because that’s also stupid. He is so, so, so, so royally fucked.

“What the fuck am I gonna do now?” he wonders to himself, eying the mess hopelessly. Cleaning it up wouldn’t be near good enough.

“I can help with that,” a voice from behind Steve says, making him jump and whirl around, as his heart tries to kick itself free from his chest.

“Who the fuck are you?”

tagging anyone that expressed wanting more: @chaosgremlinmunson @soaringornithopter @hbyrde36 @shares-a-vest @dreamwatch @quevadilla @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @tboyeddie @penny00dreadful @ent-is-indecisive

[valentine-cafe]

Can i have an order of hourabiethes please?

There's a thought stuck in my head; what if reader, perhaps naive but so caring, tried to struck a deal with Valerius, not caring what happened to them, in order to protect someone else they cared for, like, a friend? Only for Valerius to find out how that "friend" didn't care for the reader afterall and was in fact deceiving them? Does it make sense...

. ˚◞♡ demon lord x gn reader ꒰ the hex demon rhytaari ꒱◞ ₊˚

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ᥫ᭡ valerius / gn reader ꒱ you make a deal with a demon to save those you care for - but what happens when your loved ones have betrayed you? and more improtantly - how will the demon react?

𖹭. content warnings◞  slight dark at end . 0.5k

𖹭. receipts◞  we understand! hope you enjoy<3

. ˚◞ ꒰ 🍰 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒔 ꒱ m.list . guidelines . characters . lorebook ⊹ ۪ ࣪ 

𖹭. it was right up his alley to accept a deal like this. the sadistic part of him wishing to make you suffer for wishing to protect those close to you. valerius has always had quite the malicious heart for these types of deals. so of course he readily accepted it with fake kindness and all sorts of sugar-coated promises.

𖹭. however, when he went on to observe this so called friend of yours, a part of him did not sit well when he discovered that they are not what you thought them out to be. the way that they talk behind your back. the way that the give you fake smiles. how they only use you for what they can but in reality want nothing to do for you.

𖹭. and seeing how earnest you were in wanting to protect them. you, you compassionate, gold-hearted fool. willing to make a deal with a lord of demons if it meant keeping such a scum safe. he felt something that he had not felt in awhile. sympathy.

𖹭. congratulations - you got the demon rhytaari to actually care. even if it was just a smidge. he’d stay around and keep his end of the deal at first. well, slightly. he’d make sure to keep them safe yet in doing so they would only run into further trouble. and this was not even him trying to hurt you - oh no. it was to get them out of your life as quickly as possible.

𖹭. when you cried to him about how he was not holding his end of the deal, he’d merely cup your face and tilt it up to look at him. crooning on about how you shouldn’t question a demon. let alone trust them for their word.

𖹭. but something struck him about your tears. something that frightened him. he decided that enough games had been played and instead appeared before your friend. demonically, too. a simple sweet threat that they end the friendship themselves and stop their two-faced schemes. he’d frightened the ever living soul out of them.

𖹭. of course he was there to take you into his arms when you wept over the texts that your friend had sent you. ending the friendship you had for years. the demon would all you in his arms. pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head and raking a hand down your back.

“worry not. I shall keep you safe instead.”

you understood not what he meant. yet enjoyed the comfort of his touch. the caress of his tender lips on your skin.

the last thing you expected was to become a demon’s favourite. it seems to have quite the perks. perhaps you do have something to thank you ex friend for after all . . .

𖹭. taglist◞ wanna join the taglist? fill out this form

𖹭. remember◞ you make a writer's day every time you like, reblog and/or comment on their piece. if you enjoyed my work, please considering doing so<3

. ˚◞ ꒰ 🍰 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒔 ꒱ tip jar . masterist ⊹ ۪ ࣪

[rotten-pomegranate]

Day fifteen : virginity loss with yandere phinks

Tags: @wxntxr-cxtrxs @aliceattheart @my-eyelash-flew-off

Warnings: Noncon, biting, pinning down

/|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\ /|\^._.^/|\

“It’ll be fine” he was actively dragging you to the bedroom to rape and defile you but no of course, it was fine

“No, no, no, phinks please another time” begging him to not take you at all wouldn’t work but maybe promising yourself another time would

He didn’t even give you the pleasantry of acknowledgment  just kept dragging you down the hall

You where at the room you shared now, this was happening and there was no getting out of it

He practically kicks open the door and tosses you on the bed

You where already in a thin satin night gown but he was practically ripping his cloths off

“Fuck I’ve been waiting so long for this” his hand are all over you faster then you can protest

He’s being to rough, you can already tell your first time is gonna be traumatic and awful

His fingers go under the waist band of your underwear to pull them down

You lay your head back on the pillow and cover your mouth as you tear up

They build up and run down your face, you couldn’t escape this and you where gonna remember it forever

“Your adorable baby” no you weren’t adorable, it’s your most sacred area and he was about to take everything you’ve worked to keep in tact away

His fingers travel up like some unwanted insect, like a spider

“Your wet already, are you sure you dont like this” if you could control your body you would

Your tears are still falling like a waterfall, his fingers poking and prodding at you like your some science experiment is demeaning and shameful

How could someone who claims to love you ever do this, the words I’ll never hurt you ment nothing in his mouth because this did hurt

His fingers slip in and your twitching trying to get away, you could feel your body trying to force his fingers out, this was wrong, it felt wrong

Foreign, and obviously he didn’t like you struggling to much, he yanks his fingers out and used both free hands to pin you down by the hips while he moves on top of you

He was already plenty hard, looking down made you sick, thats what’s about to defile you, it was thick, long, it looked like it had weight

“It’ll only hurt for a minute” it shouldn’t hurt at all you think, he could make it not hurt

His hands don’t move, he just readjusts himself to line up with your entrance

You squeeze your eyes shut and bite your lip when he starts to push in but your eyes fly open when he actually gets in

It’s like fire, pain you’ve never felt before entering you all because he wanted it

He wasn’t even half way in when you felt light headed, you could feel yourself get wetter, blood

He made you bleed all for his own pleasure, he really was evil. his hand grip you harder when he bottoms out

“Fuck, can’t believe I waited so long for this” you try and look past his head, just stare at the ceiling, disassociate and maybe you’ll be ok mentally after this

“Are you listening?” So much for that “hey, look at me” your eyes shift over to his much bigger form above you

At least he was giving you time get used to his size, even if it would take hours for this to be completely painless

“I’m gonna move now, just focus on me” he’s the last thing you wanna think about right now, your already under him, crying because of him, in pain because of him, why did he want you to focus on him to

His first thrust is slow and painful, it felt like something sharp raking your soft insides, when he’s all the way out he pushes back in rather fast, you don’t understand why anyone would do this willingly

His thrusts were quickly picking up speed, the faster he went the more it hurt and the harder he gripped

You where gonna have hand print bruises on your hips by tomorrow morning, that’ll be a nice reminder for the next couple weeks

“I’m not gonna last” his tip hit your cervix every time, this should feel good but it’s horrible

There was no pleasure slipping through, just got burning pain and uncomfortable pressure

He ducks is head down to be in your neck, his breath is hot, you hate it

He lets out a long groan and gives one squeeze that’s far to hard before he pulls out and cums all over your Pussy and belly

There’s some red still smeared on his dick, his cum is hot and sticky, unpleasant to have on you

“Ok, let’s get you cleaned up”

A bath won’t clean you, boiling water won’t clean you, your never gonna feel clean or pure again

[oxpogues4lifexo]

Keeping Up With The Camerons

TumblrTV

Keeping up with the Camerons

Episode 4 - Prince And Princess

Previous Episode Here

Episode transcript (/ means cut scene, bold italics means narrator, bold means host)

Word Count: 15.7k

Shorter Episodes Here - 3K Words

//

Coming up!

/

“All I want is for you to be happy.. and I’m gonna try my best to be better for you okay..?”

/

“Sometimes things just happen Bella you gotta understand that by now. With dad gone an’ all-“

/

“That pogue hasn’t got half the amount I do what’s her fucking deal?”

“Better dick..”

/

“Oh if you ask me he’s head over heels for her. Don’t tell him I said that..”

/

“How do I make it stop..? How do I make the pain go away.. It hurts”

//

Kooks. And Pogues. Two tribes. One island.

Or in this case..

The Camerons. Kildare. One family. The whole island.

I am your host Ryan Seacrest, and THIS is Keeping up with the Camerons!

/

This episode includes the bts footage the Camerons don't know you can see, forgetting that there are cameras in every crevice of their life not just in the hands of my camera crew! (Written in pink)

Not Proofread

//

“Bro just go talk to her!” Topper shadows Rafe around TannyHill, getting on his last nerve and knowing it.

Rafe groans, rubbing his brow as he stops; causing Topper to bump into his arm as he turns to face him. “Jesus..” Rafe curses. He sighs, “Don’t you think that’s what I’m trying to do? But you’re up my ass. Now shove off!” He waves his hand at him as he shoves his tongue against his cheek.

He opens the front door, raking his sweaty palm through his greasy bangs as he makes his way down to his bike.

“Look Rafe just a bit of advice-”

“I don’t need advice man, she’s my best friend I know how to speak to her.”

“Well clearly not or none of this would’ve..-“

“What was that?” Rafe’s head jerks to meet Toppers eyes, his hand midway through caressing his bike seat.

“No nothing! Rafe I just mean cos I spoke to her when I took her home you know. She said-”

“I don’t care what she said Topper. That was yesterday, this is today. I’m dealing with it now a’ight? Just let me do it and stay out of it.”

“You uh..” Topper snickers as he watches his friend hook himself over his bike. Dressed.. not so appropriately for a motorbike.

“What?” He gravels, watching Toppers eyes as they don’t shift from his outfit. He looks down and scoffs, “What? Don’t think to dress up for your girl once in a while?”

“Okay THAT needs to stop!” He points at Rafe with his brows raised, referring to him always calling Bella ‘his girl’ when she’s anything but. “But also, yeah alright I guess but Rafe you’re going to apologise for some shit you’ve done to her! Don’t you think wearing a shirt and dress pants is too much?”

“She likes this shirt?” He doubts himself, tugging at the collar as it’s suddenly feeling a little too tight.

“No no I know I didn’t say you look bad, I just..” He watches Rafe’s eyes, never seeing that look in them before and sighing, “You know what?” He taps his back, “She’ll love it Rafe.” He smiles sweetly and nods to reassure him.

Rafe bites his lip, nodding slowly as he throws his helmet on, “I hope you’re right..” He breathes, eyes still holding that same look as before; Topper ‘almost’ feeling upset for THE Rafe Cameron.

“Hey man just.. take the blame yeah? Own up to it. Don’t make her feel like she did anything wrong.”

“But she didn’t?”

“Exactly what I’m saying Rafe. Just don’t make her feel bad and shit. Like how you use your like reverse psychology on us. Making us think it’s our fault when you haven’t actually said it was, you know?”

“When have I ever done that shit?”

“Everyday..” Topper nods unimpressed, not even waiting for him to finish talking.

Rafe nods along unconvinced and slightly confused as he sucks in a breath before flicking down his visor. He kicks up his kickstand and revs the bike.

“Just-“

“Topper?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.” He groans, lifting the front of his bike as he heads off out the gate.

“Tell me how it goes!!!” Topper yells over the sound of Rafe’s engine not quite knowing if he heard him or not.

//

“That stupid black shirt..” Topper groans, ��He wears that shit to parties, to family events, if he’s trying to impress her, or make her happy or ask for forgiveness..” He moans, counting slowly on his fingers as each word drags out painfully. “It’s like, get a new shirt dude?? That things been through wars. Literal wars. It’s about time you find a new apology outfit.” He drops his head in his hands, a muffled breath pushing through his fingers.

He looks up, dragging his hands along his face as a quiet groan falls from his mouth. “I’m just saying,” He huffed, heavily rolling his eyes as he speaks, “He’s so fucking lucky she hasn’t got no one else or he wouldn’t be able to rely on the thought she’s gonna come back everytime. She needs him and he takes advantage of it, he don’t even realise it. But it’s because he needs her too and just won’t admit it.”

“So what are you saying? That he’s just doing this because he feels as though he has to?”

“No of course not! I mean, you saw the look in his eyes right? He seemed so nervous and desperate to get her back, like I almost felt bad for him and that’s the rarest thing I could do. I mean, they have their issues, but they never used to, and you can tell that, just from the way they look when you bring the other up.”

“What Bella basically was saying last night, is that she feels like Rafe has pushed himself away from her, like he doesn’t like her as much anymore and she doesn’t understand exactly why. But Rafe would say the same about her. It’s all a load of miscommunication I’m assuming but you can just tell by the stupid fucking look that they care way too disgustingly much about each other.” He physically shivers, grimacing at the thought as if it were the worst thing to ever happen.

“Are you like their mediator would you say?”

“Uhh..” He chuckles, running his fingers through his fluffy hair as his brows furrow, “I wouldn’t say mediator, I prefer to not get involved in their shit. Mostly because Rafe would kill me. But I am the one they speak to about this stuff. Or, well Bella anyways. She’s always come to me about everything; it feels nice, to be fair, to know she feels comfortable enough around me to speak about all that stuff! Like her anxiety, she doesn’t talk about with anyone but me. I don’t even think Rafe knows how bad it gets and that’s saying something cos he knows everything about her.”

“So your more of the therapist?”

“Yeah fine I guess so.” He laughs, nodding along.

//

Bella hums, wiping down the countertops with her earphones hanging from her ears. The dishes were all freshly cleaned, by her obviously, the rooms all neatly tidied, and the house quiet and smells like vanilla cupcakes. Her favourite candle scent.

She gets to the kitchen table before a loud thud pulls her from her daydream. She flinches, pulling her earphones out immediately as she looks around, not quite gathering where the sound came from.

It happens again, her eyes quickly pulling to the front door as she frowns, almost tearing up at the thought that her brothers come home.

She puts everything down and quickly jogs over to the door, “Look Callum I-“ she stops as the door had opened wide enough for her to realise who’s really outside.

“That’s not my name princess you should know that by now.” The blonde boy drags a hand through his hair as he laughs to himself to make up for the silence.

She watches him, eyebrows dipped and face tensed. “What’re you doing here?”

He steps closer, offering a hand but she quickly rejects it as she rolls her eyes, “Can we talk?”

“I don’t want to talk to you.” She shuts the door in his face, going back over to the table.

“Bella please!” He whines through the door, his voice shaky as a quiet thump was heard of his head hitting the door.

His voice caused her to stop. She stood a moment and took a deep breath before going back over to the door, “You have two minutes Rafe.”

“Ah you know my name!” He lifts a hand with a grin but still nothing. He coughs away the awkwardness as she shuts the door behind herself so they were both positioned infront of the house under the pretty porch light.

They stand there for a few minutes where they both stayed quiet, eyes avoiding one another. Bella plays with the flowers above the door and Rafe counts the wooden floorboards under their feet whilst he swayed back and forth, hands tucked into his pockets. “So..” He coughs, “Bells are you okay?”

Her eyes shoot to his; hesitating to answer, she stutters, “Uh- uhm..” She opened her mouth to speak but the sight of the boy watching so concerned, she knew maybe it wasn’t the best time. “I’m fine.”

“No cmon Bells talk to me. I wanna know what’s been on your mind recently, I’m worried ‘bout you.” He reaches up to push a strand of hair out her eyes, tucking it behind her ear as she looks back up at him. Her hand finds his and pushes it against her cheek for a moment.

Rafe’s lips pull, rubbing his thumb along her soft skin. She sighs, pulling his hand away but keeping a tight grip of it beside her waist. “Rafe I..”

“Hit me. I deserve it all Bella just let it all out.” He speaks quietly but honestly; causing her eyes to follow up to his once again, the pure genuineness radiating from the boy warming her heart.

Now feeling as though she can properly open up, Bella takes a deep breath and nods to reassure herself, “I feel like.. ever since the cameras have been on you, I don’t know..” She pauses a moment, contemplating her next words but it’s too late to stop now, “You seem different. Like you don’t care anymore. It’s like you’re trying to act cool or something for the audience. Looking for attention or something..”

His eyes never leave hers, his attention never moving away from her as he listens to every word that leaves her lips. His thumb still rubbing gently against her hand as he squeezes tightly, comforting her the best he can in the moment.

“Rafe it’s like you put the show before everything else. But didn’t you say to me, ‘it’s just a stupid show’? So why do you care so much?”

He waits, trying to figure out if now’s the time she wants him to speak but quickly realising when her eyes stick onto his.

“I..” The sudden pressure to talk and also trying to keep in mind what topper said about taking the blame was causing him to stutter, “I don’t?”

Shit..

She frowns and he immediately felt a lump grow in the back of his throat, wanting to quickly take back what he said, “I mean- Yeah okay.. fine look I’m sorry.. maybe I do put the cameras first. But..” His eyes move down to her hand, watching his thumb run along her knuckles as he stops talking.

“Rafe..?” Bella tilts her head under his, catching his eyes in hers as she tightens her grip on his hand.

“Hm.. yeah um..” He lifts his head back up, rolling his shoulders back. “It’s beca- because um.. I wanna make him happy..” He whispers, almost inaudible to the camera as his eyes fail to meet hers.

“Make who happy..?” She questions softly.

“Dad- Ward I mean..”

Bella’s eyes widen, her hands finding his cheeks as she lifts his head to look at her, “Hey Rafe..” His eyes search for hers as they begin to well, “You don’t have to try so hard for him, you know? Just you willing to participate is enough for him. He’s proud of you! He told me that! Just.. why can’t you be yourself? That’s all he wants and that’s all the cameras want!” Her thumbs graze the apples of his cheeks, “Rafe that’s all I want!”

Rafe’s hands take hers and pull them away from his face, “Bella I didn’t.. I didn’t know that. I’m sorry..” He sighs, wiping his eyes before the little pricks of tears could be picked up by the camera.

She smiles weakly, trying her best to keep comforting him, “Don’t be, just.. promise me, you won’t let them get to you?”

His brows furrow, a grin tugging at his lips as a small breathy chuckle falls from his mouth, “Are you quoting me, to me?” He points at himself, amusement written all over his stupid face.

Bella giggles, unaware of the mishap, “Well I didn’t mean to but.. yeah I guess I did!” She snorts.

He watches a moment, admiring the joy on her face, the happiness he created amongst the two of them from a mere sentence. He did that. Him.

“Come ‘ere.” He holds out his arms and he nods his head. She looks up at him with that soft little smile before jumping into his arms. Squeezing tightly, his arms wrap around her like a vice, placing kisses all around her head that cause her to giggle and squirm in his grip.

“You got work to do huh.” He lifts himself up, holding her arms as that stupid smirk sat back on his face, his eyebrow jerked.

“They’ll fire me anyways it’s fine.” She shrugs, tugging at his hands.

“Why because you skipped yesterday?” His smirk only grew as he watched her face drop, the realisation very visibly sinking in.

“Mhm..” She pulls him, trying to get him inside, “Yeah no we’re going c’mon! Can’t have you becoming one of us princess.” He pulls her hand that she used to hold onto his firmly, spinning her around and placing his arm round her neck.

Bella groans, resting her head to the boys shoulder as they make their way down to his bike.

Rafe pats the seat to his bike, watching as Bella’s figure sat perfectly ontop as her big doe eyes stared back at him, a gentle smile pulling at her soft lips.

He smiles back, them both sharing an intimate few seconds before Rafe frowns and shakes his head, coughing away the moment. He reaches for his helmet before placing it ontop Bella’s head.

“You know that I love you right?” He asks, hands wrapped under the helmet whilst he struggles to clip it up. She managed a small nod as she watched his concentration, his tongue slightly visible through his lips as his brows furrowed.

//

“Doing up someone else’s helmet especially when we’ve just shared a deep conversation, is difficult a’ight? Don’t judge me for that shit.”

//

“And I do care about you..” He mumbles through struggle, not meaning for it to sound as quiet as it did. Again she nods, placing a hand to Rafe’s that was sat beside her neck; his face mere centimetres from her own.

“And I don’t ever wanna lose you..” He removes his hand, his voice now a quiet whisper as he hooks a leg over the seat of the bike; pulling her closer to him, he lifts her legs over his to get her as close as possible, ignoring the way her thighs graze his crotch. “You understand?” He rubs his thumbs against her bare thighs, almost massaging them as once again, their faces lay not even an inch away from one another.

She watches his fingers as she nods for the third time, “Yeah..” enjoying the contact.

“Then dont forget it..” He watches her eyes for a moment, as he could make out a smile lifting her cheeks. It creates a smile on his own before he places a hand on the back of Bella’s head, pulling her closer to press a kiss to her helmet. His hands grip her thighs firmly as he leans his head on hers, “All I want is for you to be happy.. and I’m gonna try my best to be better for you okay..? I promise..” He speaks gently and informatively, accentuating each other word to drill his point into her.

He lifts his gloved pinky causing the tear-stained girl to giggle, salty tears shimmering across her skin as she links her finger with his.

“I love you always Rafe Cameron..” her soft but muffled words caused a small laugh to leave Rafe’s mouth as he places his hands on either side of her helmet, taking her eyes into his own as he lifts her chin.

“I love you way more than you’ll ever know Bella Brooks..” He rests his helmet against hers. They both sit in silence a moment, just sinking into each others words, each others touch.

He lifts his head and quickly shifts the moment as he smacks the top of her helmet with a heavy hand, causing a pain-filled groan to fall from the girls lips before she quickly returned the gesture. He tries keeping it cool, watching her a moment before shutting her visor.

He hooks his legs back around to face the front of the bike; reaching back to find her hands, he places them against his lower stomach. “You feel safe??” He questions loud enough that she could hear him over the revving of his bike.

She puts her thumb up to him as she rests her head to his back, closing her eyes and sinking into his body. He bites his lip, nodding to himself as he looks down at the fist of black fabric she was gripping onto. He smiles softly, a rare occurrence for the boy, before chuckling loudly. The feeling, the thought. Everything about the moment. He had his girl back and he didn’t care who knew. He was happy and he didn’t care to show it.

He quickly sped off down the road to the Island Club. The cameramen all getting the sign from Ryan that they left and soon following behind.

//

“She’s all about my safety, that kid.” He laughs, “Wan’ing me to wear gloves and shit. She even begged for the whole thing cos she heard about an accident one time. But I refused cos the only time I’m riding is with her and I take it slow for her.”

“But you two are okay now?”

“Well yeah obviously? Told you we always are. We’re never apart for more than a day at most.” He chuckles, shrugging his shoulders as a hand rakes through his hair.

“Does it not bother you how quickly she accepts you back?”

He frowns, eyes locking onto Ryan’s, “What- why would it? We’re friends that’s just what happens?”

“Okay Rafe..” Ryan stops the conversation short but Rafe hits breaking point. The sarcastic tone caused him to scrunch his fist, banging it against his forehead as he tries to hold back from blowing up.

“Mmm no. What do you mean?” He rasps, his eyes darkening as he doesn’t look him in the eye.

“I just..” Ryan coughs, “I just feel like with a girl like her it means more than just, ‘you said sorry we’re okay now’.”

Rafe looks back at him, his face softening as his brows furrow. He leans against his knees as his palm meets his face a moment.

“Look man we’re fine okay? Just.. don’t ruin that f’me. Please.” He forces softly before up and leaving.

/

“Topper while I’ve got you here alone, could you explain to me why Bella’s so easy to come back to him.”

He snorts, “You mean this morning?” Ryan nods, a small grin tugging at his lips, “Yeah uh.. I think I’d get in trouble if I told the truth you know man.”

“You can ask her if you-“ He began to gesture towards the group a few tables behind them.

“Not by her.”

“By?”

“Callum. You know, her super dicky, overprotective brother who thinks he’s always right, Callum? Yeah that one.”

“He wont find out you’ve said this.”

“Until he watches the show of course.” Topper interjects, cutting it plainly.

“It’s not coming out for a week, atleast, Topper and we’ll just make sure he doesn’t know that alright? The audience would want to know.”

Topper sighs, rolling his eyes as he begins to nod, his tongue shoving into the inside of his cheek, “Yeah okay fine um. It’s because-“

//

“She’s a Pogue.”

Rafe and Bella make it to the club. He helps her off his bike as he takes off her helmet for her. “Thank you.” She bubbles, smiling as she watches his every move. “I like the shirt, Rafey.” Her cheeks redden, watching as he stands back up, a grin spread across his face.

“With no family.”

“Yeah? Knew you would princess.” He nips her nose with his finger.

“Are you not hot? Its boiling today and-“

“Is that even a question Bells look at me!” He expresses, arms out wide as a chuckle falls from his lips whilst he watched her expression. She stares at him, a brow raised as an unimpressed laughed slips from her mouth.

“No money.”

“Shut up.” She whines, rolling her eyes before taking his hand. “I’m sure there’s spare clothes in the back!” They head inside, Rafe allowing and enjoying the action; Bella swings their arms back and forward, skipping along to keep up with Rafe’s fast pace. His eyes never leave her as she smiles and doesn’t care for anything other than the two of them, not caring to be seen acting like a child. And Rafe secretly loved it.

“If it weren’t for Ward she’d be living on the fucking streets.”

/

“So there’s just some spare uniforms but they’ll suit you! I mean you practically live in polos and shorts so-“

“Right, necessary?”

She snorts. He snatches the clothes out her hand with an eye roll before going over to the other side of the room.

“If she doesn’t speak to Rafe, there’s no point in speaking to us.”

The room wasn’t well lit for a place like a country club. It was like a small staff room but was also used for storage. One wall was covered in mirrors and sinks with a few cubicles shoved in the back near Rafe. The extra space was used for a couple chairs, and shelves for spare glasses and alcohol.

Bella begins to undress herself, starting with her top too big for her that it was obvious it wasn’t actually hers.

“If she doesn’t speak to Rafe, Callum gets involved.”

Rafe pulls on the shirt, catching a glimpse of Bella in the mirror as she slides down her shorts. He coughs, frowning at himself but not being able to help himself from the view.

“She doesn’t speak to Rafe and Ward gets pissed off.”

The same happens to her, she looks up and catches Rafe watching her which causes her eyes to widen. “What?? Have I got something on me?” She asked oblivious as hell as she inspected her almost naked body in the mirror.

“No no sorry just.. got distracted..” he mumbles, turning away slightly as he fiddles with the zipper of his shorts.

Bella’s instincts kick in once again as she jogs over immediately, wearing nothing but her underwear, “Are you okay?” She turns him towards her as she places a hand to his chest. He hums, sucking in a breath as he turns away.

“If Bella makes Ward mad at Rafe in any way she never lets it down.”

She watches him a moment, still not understanding what’s up his ass. She hooks her arms around his neck, pressing her body against him firmly as she nestles her head into his neck. The tightness of her grip being a sign to Rafe that she needed this hug more than she’ll ever let on.

“He’s the last person you’d want on your back.”

He takes a deep breath, shutting his eyes as his arms take her body into his own, his hands perfectly placed on the middle of her back. He places a kiss to her shoulder before resting his head against hers.

“He has the money and he has the power to do as he pleases.”

They stand there for a few minutes. In silence. But it wasn’t a horrible silence, it was peaceful. Safe. Bella hums against his ear, smiling to herself as she enjoys the embrace, the contact.

“You okay Bells..?” He whispers softly, a rare occurrence for the boy, not letting go and not lifting his head.

You could hear her smile as she lets out a quiet breath, “Yeah.. now I am..”

He began to feel guilty for his thoughts, knowing this isn’t the time and maybe it never was. His eyes well, thinking about last night. About Callum. About the way she looked and the way she struggled for air. His grip tightens unbeknownst, arms as far round her body as they could possibly reach as he tucks his eyes into her shoulder.

“It’s just easier and safer for Bella to give in and accept Rafe’s apologies, because if not?”

“Are you okay RayRay..?” He nods against her arm, any word that left his mouth would only set off the waterfalls. Her lips pull as she rests her head closer to his, her feet numbing but not caring as her hand reaches up to lay against his head, her nails gently scratching circles along his neck.

She needs me. “She won’t have a family.”

He needs me.

How could I be so stupid, she’s never needed me more. “She won’t have a job.”

I’m such an idiot, he’s always needed me.

She’s lonely, so lonely.. and I’m partly to blame, how could I let it get this bad..? “And she won’t have Rafe.”

He’s struggling, so bad.. I don’t understand how I never noticed..

A slam of a door interrupts their thoughts, Rafe immediately stepping infront of her as he shoves on her, his old shirt to cover up atleast some of her.

“Back to square one..”

“Oh my god honey you’re okay..” The familiar voice causing both of them to look over, Bella peering past his shoulder. The older man steps over, pushing past Rafe as he pulls Bella into his chest tightly. “God I’m so so sorry.. I heard what happened sweetheart.. are you okay..?” She shakes her head against his chest, but sucks in a breath as she lifts herself from his grasp quickly.

Its Ward isn’t it Rafe..

She looks up at the boy, noticing the way he avoids watching, distracting himself with the spare glasses on one of the storage shelves, rubbing his finger along all the rims. She frowns.

“Bella everything okay? You can come home if you’d like?” He grazes his fingers over he cheek, pushing back a strand of her.

She shakes her head as his words caught Rafe’s attention. “No that’s okay.. Callum will kill me if he finds out I’ve skipped two days in a row.” She snorts, rubbing her neck with her palm as she lightly tugs at her skin.

“I can sort that honey.” He rubs her arm, his thumb doing circles against her.

“No don’t worry. I’ll be okay. I have Rafe!” She smiles at Rafe as her words attract his eyes, him smiling softly back at her; nodding as an almost ‘thank you’. “Okay.. well, I’m sure he’ll look after you and, any problems you call me okay?”

“I will dont worry!” She smiles as he places a kiss to her head; her smile slowly fading as he completely ignores his son, walking out the club as if he weren’t even there.

Bella scoffs, eyebrows dipping before turning to her friend. “Rafe I..”

“It’s not your fault.. Hey! don’t we have tables to set up?” He brightens his voice, smiling as he hooks an arm around her neck.

“Yeah.. yeah we do..” She agrees gently, accepting his want to move on; resting her head against his shoulder as her arm takes his waist.

She finishes getting dressed, pulling up her skirt as he helps her with her apron in the mirror. She notices they’re wearing the same colours as he was borrowing the spare uniform, “Hey look Rafe we match!” She bubbles, pointing at the two of them, his hands lingering on her back a little too long before patting down the tie and looking up at them in the mirror; his arms wrapping around her waist, head on her shoulder, “Yeah.. we do..”

She smiles softly but couldn’t help a small tug at her brow as there was still a level of concern roaming the air.

Before she knew it her hair was out her face, Rafe lifted it up into a handheld pony. “Wanna slick it back or it alright like that?” She was mesmerised by his actions, not realising he was waiting for an actual answer until she notices him watching her in the mirror.

“Oh! Um. No Rafey it’s perfect thank you..” She blushes, admiring, as Rafe slides a hairtie from his wrist and gently wraps it around her hair; grabbing his hat from across the room just to put it ontop her head, making her lips pull once again.

Her eyes sparkle as he presses a kiss to the back of her neck, “Perfect..” He mutters, shutting his eyes as his body relaxes a moment. Quickly, he stands back up and squeezes her head, “Let’s go!”

/

They leave the back room, Bella taking his hand and tugging. “Hm?”

“I love you Ray..” She smiles, a kiss placed to the boys forehead.

He watches her eyes a moment, as they stared up at him, his lips pulling into a gentle smile. His hand finds the back of her head, pulling her in to place a kiss to her head in return. “I love you more Bee.” She hums as he turns away, “Not true.” Her words cause his head to swing round, brow raised as he smirks, “Oh we doing that are we?”

She giggles, blushing lightly as she plays with her fingers behind her back, “Maybe..”

He chuckles from his chest, walking over to her which causes her to step back with each of his footsteps. She could tell from a mile away, his plan.

She turns on her heel darting for one of the tables as he chases her round each one. Chairs being thrown to the floor as tables scratch along the wood; the room filled with giggles and deep laughter as they play around. Him very obviously faster than her but letting her stay ahead to keep the game going.

As she gets herself stuck in a corner, he cackles devilishly, ‘playing the part well’ in her words. She smirks, knowing there’s no way out as he jumps for her, lifting her by her legs to throw her over his shoulder; a shriek falling from her lips.

He laughs as she grips onto the material of his shorts, trying to pull her way down him but failing miserably as her strength didn’t even meet half of his. His flexed bicep curled around her thighs as he carries her back over to the bar, setting her down effortlessly beside the alcohol as he pecks her nose with his fingers, “Better luck next time princess.”

She growls breathily, crossing her arms as she pouts like a child. Her actions causing him to snort as he ruffles her hair. “Cmon ‘Kid’ we got a club to run!” He enjoys his words a little too much as he chuckles to himself, walking off to take the rest of the chairs down.

“I’m not a kid, asshole.” Bella spits, Rafe immediately taking her eye with a laugh and a raise in his brow.

“Woah woah hey, you’re too young to be using that language here, don’t you think ‘kid’?” He smirks, watching as her eyes darken and she huffs a breath. She rolls her eyes going over to the other side of the room to arrange the tables; turning back around to give Rafe a dark glare after he decided to laugh at her once more.

//

“So Rafe what’re you doing here today? Since I didn’t get a chance to ask earlier!”

“Well I’m just here to help out. Whenever Bella has a shift on her own I offer to help, it means I get to see her all day and it gives me something to do! It also means she’s in a better mood when we get back.” He chuckles to himself, a hand running through his bangs. “Normally the others wouldn’t come but somedays they do.”

“Which do you prefer?”

“If I’m telling the truth I prefer when it’s just me and Bells. We barely get time alone with Callum and shit so when we do we make the most of it you know. And being here is one of the only times we are by ourselves. It’s nice though I enjoy spending time with her. It reminds me of when we were younger!”

“What’d you get up to?”

“Nothing! Thats the thing. We used to just sit on the piers or the boat and just talk. And obviously back then Callum wasn’t so obsessed with her so we had way more time together. I miss it to be honest, it’s why we do everything we can to get extra time by ourselves!”

/

“Care to give your opinions on this mornings, I don’t know how to put it um.. tension-fest!”

“You really gotta call it that?”

/

“You mean with me and Rafe?”

“Yes that’s exactly what I mean miss Brooks. How’re you doing? How is HE doing?” He asked sincerely, genuine concern filling the air which she noticed quickly; evident by the way her shoulders drop and her face warms.

/

“Yes I do. Now Rafe we’d just like an explanation for what’s happening. Catch us up!”

He sighs, rolling his eyes as he turns back to watch the rest of his group laughing and talking. He grunts, “Fine. Um.. I just, I don’t know. I’m just worried about Bella is all. Feel like I’m not putting in my full 100% for her at the moment and right now? I feel like she really needs me.”

/

“Umm.. I’m good thank you! I’m just worried about Rafe. I mean he seems really off recently and I feel bad because I realised today that it’s not about me at all. And my little outburst last night kinda didn’t help. I just want to know he’s happy but it’s difficult when he won’t talk to me.”

/

“I just wanna make sure she’s happy you know, but she don’t talk to me about Callum. Or anything for that matter.” His face was turned away from the camera, his eyes glued to his best friends figure as she bounced against the floorboards with the sweetest smile across her face. “I don’t really know anything about her no more.”

/

“We used to be way closer. Like we never had these stupid petty fights, we just talked to each other and everything was perfect. But I guess getting older makes things more difficult. And not everything lasts forever. We’re growing apart and I don’t ever want to believe it, but sometimes, it’s hard not to.”

/

“I just feel like the past few years have been different and I’m partly to blame. I know that for sure. The other half? Could be anyone on this island, I couldn’t tell you. But all I know is that the most I can do is be there for her.”

/

“I’m pretty sure it’s because of Ward. I’m growing up which means I need him more, and Rafes growing up which means he needs him less. But if you really asked us both. We’d tell you that’s not what we want. And I fear that Ward will forever fail to see that. So the most I can do is show Rafe that no matter what, I’m always here for him. Because if not? I don’t know.. I don’t want to know that’s for sure! But all I do know is that it won’t be good, for anyone.”

/

“On a lighter note, you two seemed really happy after your little moment in the back room.”

“Hm..” Bella hums, smiling as she twirls her fingers into each other. “Yeah.. we have our moments. And when we do we REALLY have our moments! I mean if you ask me he was playing the part pretty well don’t you think?” She snorts, looking back at him with a soft smile. “I really do love him Ryan. And I know he feels the same way, it’s why I just want him to be okay, you know?”

“I do know Bella.. and I know you enough to know that you’ll figure it out. I believe in you.”

“So do I!” The sandy blonde wraps his arm around Bella, “So. Do. I.” He nudges his head into hers, causing her to smile; her brows furrowing.

“Topper what do you-“

“I know what you’re on about Bells, I see it too. Both the feelings part and the emotions part. And I believe you can fix it. Because you’re Bella Brooks and none of us would trust anyone else with a situation like this.”

She lets go of him, smiling gently as she nods, “Thank you Top. I always know I have you to rely on.”

“What’re friends for huh?” She giggles, pulling him into a tight hug.

/

“Hey uh Ryan?” Rafe turns back to take his focus once more.

“Rafe.” He smiles in return.

“You uh.. between you and me.” Rafe steps closer, leaning over his shoulder to whisper into his ear, “You got that footage of her and Top last night? Asking for a friend..”

He stands back up, Ryan flashing him a wink as a small smirk tugs at his lip, “We might have. Come speak to us later okay? I’ll see what we can do.” Ryan pats Rafe’s shoulder.

“Yeah uh.. thanks! Mr um.. Ryan, sir!” He stutters with a soft smile, before quickly returning to his friends.

Ryan takes a moment to appreciate the little moment of genuineness that came from the boy. Having heard and witnessed things so different, that small kindness was enough to change his view on the Camerons son.

/

“Don’t even get me started Sir.” Topper rolls his eyes, slumping into the seat opposite as he realised how long he’s being kept for. “I mean, they both adore each other. Callum adores Bella and vice versa too. Or should I say did. To all of them. Did. You see, a few years ago something happened, don’t ask what because fuck knows. But when the said ‘something’ happened, Callum, Rafe, Ward, Sarah. Everybody me and Bella knew had changed. And not in a good way. Callum fell into the drug hole, Rafe resorted to violence; well more than usual. Ward became unbearable in every way possible and Sarah became distant with everyone. Neither me nor Bella know what happened but as far as we’re concerned, nothing will ever be the same as it was 3 years ago. Thats what’s wrong. Thats what’s always been wrong. Since the day there was ever something wrong between them all. That’s what their issue is with each other and neither of them will bring it up because they don’t know what they’re bringing up. Because NOTHING HAPPENED.”

Topper stops himself quickly after his outburst. Sitting back in his chair and coughing to clear the air. “Sorry um. I just mean that they’ll never fix this because nothing ever happened. Meaning there’s nothing to fix. It’s just the way life is from now on. And unfortunately we all have to just live with it.”

//

“I’m getting sick of the cameras now Bells.” Rafe huffs, his head held up by his hands whilst his eyes followed Bella behind the bar. She hums, wanting him to continue but too busy making him a drink to look. “Like yeah alright don’t care we have an episode to ourselves but it’s when there’s just the ones sat at home or there’s just a guy fucking following me around shoving a camera in my face it’s like I don’t give a shit enough to want to do this anymore.” He exaggerates his words as his eyes glance over to Ryan and his crew who sat on one of the empty tables furthest from them.

Bella frowns, turning to him as she places the glass in his hand, “I thought you were excited! You wanted to do this no?” Her expression contorted as she waited for him to finish his drink, thoroughly confused and slightly concerned for the boy.

He shrugs, putting his glass back down with a clink as it hit the tabletop. “Nah, it seemed interesting at first but it’s literally just like nothings changed except there’s more people and shit like I’d rather not, you know.” His eyes follow up to hers, swirling the remainder of his drink around in his cup as he watches her face.

“Have you not spoken to Ward about it? Maybe they could turn some cameras off or something?” She rests her hands to the edge of the bar, helping herself to stand up to his height whilst he was on the bar stool.

Rafe snorts, rolling his eyes as he looks back down at the brown liquid. “Like he’d do that shit for me Bells! It’s fine I don’t care just when they ask me shit in the middle of my day that I don’t care about it’s like just shut the fuck up.” His eyes droop, breathing out a heavy sigh as he rests his head back on his free hand.

“Rafe..”

“Hm?” She takes his glance, his focus now moved back to her as she watched him with pure worry.

“Are you okay? Relax..”

He watches her a moment, before properly taking in her words. He sits up, dropping his hand to the bar as he itches the back of his neck with the other, “Sorry.. haha..” He laughs awkwardly, trying to keep himself composed, not for the cameras but for Bella, “Just pissed off cos it feels like I can’t be myself. Like everything I do is being judged by everyone you know.”

Bella sighs, nodding along, “I know Rafe.. but the point of the show is that you be yourself! Since when did you, the Prince of Kildare island, care about what anyone said or thought anyways. Remember what you said to me the other night? They’re just cameras Rafe. It’s a stupid show.”

“Yeah yeah alright keep quoting me to me and I’ll fucking leave.” He points a finger at her causing her to snort.

“Haha bye bye then!” She pats her fingers to her palm as she waves him away. He hits her hand away, a smirk evident across his lips.

Bella pauses, smiling softly as she watches his smile grow. “You know.. you’re doing it now!”

“Huh? Doing what?”

“Being yourself on camera..”

Rafes brows raise, his smile softening as he nods, “Yeah cos you’re here! Its easier when you’re around, it’s when I’m at home with Cal or something and they’re just watching us. They don’t even ask for permission when they cut all this into the episodes you know that? They just pick and choose the best parts apparently!”

Her face drops almost instantly as she stands up, “What, you serious?? I thought they’d go through it with you after?”

“Nope! That’s why it’s such bullshit! I could say something so outrageous and they choose to put it in that everyone then hates me or wants me dead or some shit.” He speaks plainly, shrugging his shoulders along to his words.

“Rafe that won’t happen! I’m sure Ward gets a say atleast?” Her voice was louder now, serious.

He sighs, “Whatever. I don’t care-“

“Debatable..”

“Hey watch your mouth!” He spits playfully, slamming a hand to the wood beneath his arm as he points the other towards her.

She giggles, the sound putting a genuine smile to Rafe’s face as he roles his eyes.

The two kids share an intimate moment of silence before a vibration cuts it short. Bella’s eyes dart to Rafe’s pocket as he grabs out his phone.

“Is it my brother?” She asked worryingly, him quickly reaching out to hold onto her hand.

“No it’s Top. On the group.” His thumb caressed her skin as he read the messages, her peering over the bar to do the same. “It’s for you.”

As per usual the kids sent in screenshots of the messages. When I say the kids I mean purely Bella. After the day Rafe had we get all the blame and he wants nothing to do with us. Surprised? Not really.

Bella groans as she goes over to her phone, picking it up and rolling her eyes. Rafe laughing to himself quietly as he watches her over exaggeration to people who can’t even see her.

His eyes follow down to his phone as he awaits her response.

He chuckles, looking up at her with a raised brow, “Depends on what Bee?”

“Oh he knows.” She grins, bubbly and genuine. Another chime snatches their attention and the sight of the next sentence cause a squeal to leave her mouth. “Yay! Told you!”

He rolls his eyes, shaking his head; enjoying the moment as her smile began to reappear - her inside smile.

Her face drops at the sound of another chime, Rafes eyes quickly darting down to his phone as he reads the new text. Bella’s attention shifts to Rafe who sat with his brows furrowed and his mouth agape. “Why.”

“Rafe..” She whimpers, stepping over.

“No why the fuck is he still here??” His sudden tone change causes Bella to flinch as her body began to warm; a tear shaken out of her as she sucks in a breath to keep herself contained.

She sighs as she brings her phone back up to her face, typing out a quick plain response.

“Whyre you defending him?” Rafe spits, snatching the phone, as he grimaces at her.

“I.. I just want it to be over.” Her voice was shaky and her lip wobbled. Her broken words causing Rafe to look up, his eye twitching.

“Rafe just leave it, it’s fine..”

“IT’S NOT- It’s not fine Bella..” He frowns, huffing a breath as he looks back down. A small whine falling from the brunettes lips as she watches his thumbs hit the letters with purpose.

“Stop.. you’ll make it worse..” She grabs the phone out his hand, cutting his message short before deleting it and quickly ending the conversation.

Rafe’s eyes don’t leave Bella’s as she sniffles, wiping her eyes with her knuckles. The panic and fear that sat evidently on her face only made Rafe feel worse. He furrows a brow, reaching out to her hand and shutting off the phone; her eyes scanning the messages over and over as her body refused to stop shaking.

“Bella.. hey. What’s going on? You don’t have to deal with him anymore. I can-“

“You can’t do anything Rafe.. I don’t want you to..”

“What?”

“He’s my brother.. people make mistakes.. I forgive him.”

“Bella you don’t have to do this.” He stands, reaching for her cheek but was held too late as she turned away.

“I do..”

“No you don’t! You can get rid of him. I can. Ward can! I don’t know. Bella-“

“Rafe you don’t understand!! Who’s going to look after him if I dont?”

He pushes his tongue to his cheek, scratching his brow as he walks round to her. Reaching for her arms. His hands travel down her skin to meet hers, “That’s not your job.” His voice softened, his thumbs running circles over her knuckles.

“But then whose is it?”

He watches her eyes as they find his. Awaiting a response but not receiving one because Rafe struggled to get anything to leave his mouth.

“Exactly..”

“Bella-“

“It’s fine Rafe. It’s always been this way, nothings changed. I’m okay..”

“It doesn’t have to be this way..”

“I don’t know any other way.” She pulls away, shrugging her shoulders; the first member of the club arriving with a friend, their conversation filling the room. Rafe watches her wipe away her tears, quickly dabbing her cheeks and straightening out her apron before plastering on a smile. She strolls over, taking their order and jotting it down on her notepad.

//

“That motherfucker is really getting on my fucking nerves. This stupid fucking rule is bullshit!!”

“Sorry Rafe what rule?”

“I..” His eyes widen, “No nothing no rule. What?” He laughs awkwardly.

“Rafe. What, rule?”

“Just some stupid rule Ward set a’ight? Don’t gotta know everything on this stupid show.”

/

“Topper do you know anything about this rule Ward has set for Rafe?”

“Uhm..” He hesitates, looking around for a distraction or a new conversation starter.

“Topper!”

“Yes! Yes sorry sir what?”

“The rule?”

“Uhm.. yeah uh. About that!” He coughs, his fingers raking his hair as he finally looks at Ryan, “It’s not just for Rafe. It’s for all of us. I uh.. actually sorry no I can’t say anything. Not this time.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not important?”

“But it is! Rafe’s upset and-“

“Trust me. You don’t want to know.”

//

As the club filled up, Bella and Rafe gained more orders. The more orders, the busier they were. Rafe kept a smile on his face, doing his part and treating the members respectfully. Bella did the same, using her kind words and soft heart to keep the members happy. Them both taking it in turns to serve and bartend.

//

“Bella does this thing. She like, she puts on a play, you know. It’s like one minute she’s my best friend Bella Brooks; the next, she’s my best friend who’s always an absolute sweetheart who would do anything for anyone. Every little problem she had disappears and all that’s on her mind is making others happy. I know she’s always like that but you know what I mean, it’s just.. different! I’ve learnt to do the same. I mean it wasn’t hard, I had a good teacher!” He laughs under his breath, catching a glimpse of Bella across the room as a smile tugs at his lip.

“I can act for the camera, I can act to be what people want me to be. When I’m helping her work, I’m a good guy with a big smile. When I’m with my friends, I give no shits. Infront of the cameras I try to be cool. Different. Not myself. The other versions are parts of me that I hide away from certain people. This one isn’t me. I fake it. Because I know the real me won’t be as likeable. But I also know that the only opinion that matters.. is my best friend’s. When I’m around her, I’m myself. I don’t put on a play. I don’t hold my breath and puff out my chest and hope the moment goes by quickly. No. When I’m around Bella it’s like, everything’s okay. Like there’s no expectations on me to be a certain someone. I don’t have to act cool or mysterious or whatever. Because she knows that’s not me and she doesn’t care. She’s who I aspire to be. But I’m not her, I’m not the sweet guy who has a heart to give to everyone. And I never will be. Because that’s just not who I am. So I act. And that’s the closest I’ll ever get to being a good person.”

//

“Ayyyy there’s the lovebirds we missed so dearly!!!” Toppers arms fling open, very clearly stating his presence as the three boys take their places on the barstools.

“You two a’ight now?” Kelce questioned, eyeing the both of them.

“Depends..” Bella shrugs, trying her hardest to hold back the grin that pulled her cheeks.

Rafe chuckles, watching Topper as he rolls his eyes. He sighs, shoving a hand into his pocket, “Maybe.. I might of stopped on the way to get a few things.” He slams a few packets of sweets (sorry I’m British) onto the bar, enjoying the way the girl’s eyes lighten up.

“Yay! Okay yes we’re fine.” She snatched them away from the boys, stashing them under the countertop.

“Fine? Is that what we’ve come to Bee?” He asked playfully offended. A hand held to his chest as his mouth fell open.

She giggles, her eyes rolling towards him as her hands find her hips, “You know I didn’t mean it like that dickhead!”

He jerks an eyebrow, his smirk growing as he steps closer. The brunette quickly flinching and immediately apologising.

Bella’s attention is stolen by a grunt. Her focus turned to the boy beside her, head on the bar against his arms. She takes a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut before swallowing and shaking her head as reassurance, “Cal? You okay?”

Her brother lifts his head, eyeing her with a sheepish look, his face puffy and eyes reddened and dry. “Are you high??” She reaches for his face but her hand was quickly swatted away.

“Fuck off..” The taller boy grumbled as he slumped against his elbows.

Rafe goes to jump for the boy, quickly held back by Kelce who grabbed him over the bar. “Leave it..”

“But Cal you promised-“

“I know what I promised a’ight. Sometimes things just happen Bella you gotta understand that by now.” He throws a hand up in the air as his eyes dart to hers, quickly moving away as he frowns.

“I do Cal trust m-“

“With dad gone ‘n all!” He interrupts unnecessarily. Causing the girl to pause her sentence and step back. Bumping her body into her friends as he grabs ahold of her hips.

“I said I do okay!!!” She cries, trying her best to hold back her tears as she stares him down. The sensitive subject making it hard for her to keep all composure.

Rafe moves her figure out the way gently, “Dude just leave her alone??” Topper and Kelce both give each other the look before joining the stare down between the two boys.

“You ain’t her brother why don’t YOU leave her alone?” Callum slams a hand to the bar, standing up in the process. His tough facade being stopped away as he winces, gripping a hand to his head before placing himself back to his seat.

Bella holds Rafe back, shaking her head ‘no’ to suggest for him to stop. She passes the boy a glass of water, “What happened? Are you okay?”

“Nothing happened..” He takes a sip of the water loudly, his loss of all his senses making it heard to hear himself. “Just woke up like this..”

Bella frowns, looking between her other friends with a piercing glare as she squinted to try and force an answer from one of them, “You made him do it?” She asks calmly, not wanting to make assumptions with her lack of information but knowing they were with him the night previous.

“No Bells we told him not to!” Kelce reassures, Topper nodding along as his eyes never leave the Camerons son.

“Where’d he get it from??” She furrows her brows, her tone more serious now as she just wanted to understand the situation. Kelce and Callum’s gaze joined Toppers as Rafe’s didn’t leave Bella. “What-“

“Hey I’m not the one who promised!” Rafe defended himself, tossing his hands in the air guiltily as he almost pleaded for her trust.

Bella’s shoulders fall, a sigh leaving her throat as her eyes travel towards her brother. His figure lay limp against the bar as his eyes focus on a small dust speck. She goes over, a hand resting against the back of the boys head, “Are you okay..?”

All she got as a response was a small nod, enough of a response for her to smile. She reaches under the bar to grab out some antibiotics, opening his palm and placing them in gently, “Take them please..”

“Can we talk about-“ Topper begins.

“NO!!!” The others all shout in sync, wanting to stay off of the topics he’d bring up.

Bella stares at Callum, watching carefully as he swallows the pills down with some water.

“John B-“

“Topper!!! This ain’t about you bro.” Kelce nudges his arm, sighing as he’d had enough.

“You can all stop staring at me now..” Callum grumbles, finishing off his water as he looks up at Bella. Everyone quickly turning away to distract themselves with anything close. “Why’re you talking to me?”

The girl shrugged, “If you don’t ask then it never happened.”

He nods along, a smile pulling at his lip as he runs his finger along the rim of his glass.

“That pogue hasn’t got half the amount I do what’s her fucking deal?” They all groan, rolling their eyes towards the blonde boy.

Rafe snorts before speaking, “Better dick..”

The other three turn away, quickly trying to cover their snickers as they try their best to play it off. Topper raises a brow, his face instantly causing Rafe to burst out into laughter, leaning over the bar as he tries to steady himself.

Topper waits, watching them all as they don’t even bother to be sincere. He slumps onto his hand. “Top-“ Bella managed through a deep breath. Rafe’s eyes take hers, immediately both letting go once again; gathering the members’ attention as they collected stares.

“Top I.. uh..” She takes a deep breath, over exaggerating by a mile. Kelce snorts into his fist as Rafe smirks, scratching his nose to cover it. “You wanna talk about it?” She rushes out, pushing her lips together to stop anymore coming out.

“Not with you lot no.” Everyone looks over to him in offence, eyebrows jerked and faces tensed.

“Bit rude.” Kelce mumbles.

“Top it was funny.. we’re sorry.” Bella tries taking his hand, Topper hesitating before giving in.

“No we’re not..” Rafe snorts, earning himself a slap on the arm from the girl before she turns back to Topper.

Bella’s eyes quickly shoot up, the boys all frowning in confusion before looking over. Another member. She sighs, “We can talk in my break okay?” She smiles reassuringly as she runs her thumb along his hand before going round the bar.

She pauses midway to the men, turning back to the boys, “Don’t upset him, dickheads.” She waved a finger towards them before going off to take orders.

“Well that was just unnecessary!” Kelce throws his hands up with a furrow in his brow, Rafe snickering once again.

Whilst Bella and Rafe gain new orders, the other three enjoy their time alone. Talking about anything but the situations at hand: Topper and Sarah, John B and Sarah, Callum and Bella, and Rafe and Bella.

Ryan pulls Topper over for a chat.

//

"So uh.. The shirt worked for what, a total of ten seconds? Maybe less?" Topper snorts, shoveling a handful of sweets into his mouth.

Rafe scoffs, rolling his eyes as he snatches a handful for himself, "Yeah try an hour asshole. She made me change 'cos she thought I was too hot."

"Oh yeah she did.." Kelce smirks, raising an eyebrow which only causes Rafe's cheeks to redden and he snorts, "Fuck off.."

"HEY!!" A girls voice pierces through the air right as the packet of sweets is stolen from the blondes grasp, "Since when did I say you could have any??"

"Well tech'ic'lly.." The boy starts, mouth full of gummies to the point his words were mere mumbles, "They're 'ine 'cos I bo't 'em so.."

The other boys only grimace at his sounds, however the silence from behind him fills him with fear, causing him to turn his body round to be faced with a deathly stare. "Okay okay sorry they're all yours.. Please don't kill me."

The brunette stares at him a moment longer before a smirk tugs at her lips; she snorts before going round the bar to stand with her closer friend. He wraps an arm around her waist, leaning his head against hers.

"So Bells, when's your break?" Topper questions, reaching down under the bar to very obviously grab another packet before being swatted away with a whine.

"Now!" An unfamiliar voice answered. A girl around the boys' ages walks over, tying her apron around her waist and joining beside Bella.

"Oh my God Sofia you savior! Today's a busy one.." She moans, leaning forward to rest her head against the girl's shoulder.

"Hi Rafe.." The new girls voice softened, her cheeks blushing as her words fill the silence. Bella removes her head from her shoulder instantaneously, her shock joined by the boys' reactions. All their eyes shoot up to Sofia's, Topper chewing on a sweet slowly as he squints, Callum's brows furrowing deeper than his eyes as his tongue pokes against his cheek, and Kelce pulling out his phone to record the next few moments.

Rafe's lips tug, running a hand through his bangs as he chuckles, "Hey.."

The boys all join each other to stare him down; Bella's eyes not leaving the other girls. "Haven't seen you around in a while."

"Yeah I uh.. I've been dragged to do this show. Hard to do much when cameras are following ya' all the time." He laughs, his hand not having left his friends waist but his eyes definitely nowhere near hear figure.

"Ah! I see.. The fame getting to you already huh?"

He smiles, jerking an eyebrow at her quip, "You could say that."

Bella grits her teeth, the boys all still well occupied with surveying the situation. "Rafe I'm on break now!" She removes her apron, finally peeling her eyes away from her competition as she looks up at the boy with her big eyes.

He smirks, running a thumb along her hip, "Yeah I'm talking right now princess, why don't I meet you outside huh?" She glares at him a second, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from commenting on his suggestion.

Topper scoffs, stuffing more gummies into his mouth to keep himself quiet whilst Callum grunts, raising his brows as his eyes darken, holding himself back from standing up and dealing with him right then and there.

Bella doesn't respond, placing her apron on the bar before removing herself from the situation, dragging Topper by the arm off the stool and out the building. The other boys quickly follow behind, all gathering outside for a meeting.

Topper and Kelce both look at one another, exchanging small smirks before snickering, looking back up at the girl and flicking their imaginary hair off their shoulders, "Hiiiiii Rafeeee." They mock, dragging out their words in a whiny put-on voice, as they flick out their hands in the air in a girly manor.

Callum groans, "What's his fucking deal all of a sudden, thought you two were like glue or some shit?"

Bella shrugs, "Don't know, don't care. Why should I, It's not like we're together or anything." She mumbles through a deep sigh.

"No but Bella we all care. He clearly-"

"He's always liked her Top, there's no denying that. That's not my issue. It's just the way he acts like she's better than me."

"Is she?" Kelce questions, not understanding the severity of the situation for Bella.

Hers, along with Topper and Callum's eyes all dart up to him. Callum tilting his head slightly with a smirk, "What was that?"

"No I just mean-"

"It's okay Cal, he wouldn't be the only one to think so." Bella states, shrugging her shoulders. Her words did nothing but piss him off more, with Topper joining the equation by frowning and watching her with concern more than anything.

Kelce nudges her arm with his elbow, darting his eyes to behind the other two boys. She looks up at him before following his gaze, her eyes widening at the realisation. “Shit..” She mumbles, running past them quickly.

“JJ??” Callum spits, Topper and Kelce each taking an arm to hold him back.

“Dude you’re lucky she’s even talking to you right now, just leave it.”

“Hey ma!” JJ raises his arms to let her in, wrapping her arms around his waist tightly as he reciprocates the motion.

“Hey Jayj..” She mutters, nuzzling into his chest.

He frowns, “Bell’s?” She hums in response, not shifting from her position. “Everything okay?” He questioned due to the tightness of her hold.

“Yeah course.. missed you..”

“You sure?” She nods, causing JJ to push her off of himself, “Bells.. I know what’s been going on, John B filled me in. You’re not okay..”

She exhales, slumping her shoulders as she avoids eye contact. She opens her mouth to speak before a loud voice interrupts.

/

“There he is ladies and gentlemen!” Callum expresses, throwing out his arms to introduce the boy walking out the club, “Still got the stick up his ass by any chance?”

“What’s your fucking deal now? And where’s Bella?” He ignores Callum’s remarks as he searches around, Topper and Kelce quickly shifting their bodies to cover the view. Rafe frowns at the two boys, “Dude why’d you blow her off like that?” Callum asks with genuine concern coating his words, taking Rafe’s focus; now the other two boys both frowning, confused why he’s almost protecting Bella when usually the sight of another Pogue would set him off.

Rafe scoffs, turning to Callum with a darkened glare, "How was that blowing her off?? It's not the worst thing I could've done, you would clearly know!"

Callum shoves his tongue to his cheek, laughing breathily as he jerks a brow, "Wanna say that again, pal?"

"No I wanna find my girl."

"She'd be inside, I'm sure you would clearly know that." Callum chuckles, followed by a few snickers from the boys beside them. Their noises directing Rafe's deadly stare towards them before it suddenly softened; hardening again once he realises, pushing past the boys.

"Ay Pogue! This ain't your side of the island!!" He yells, making his way over to the two younger kids.

"Rafe??" Bella stops him quickly by pushing a hand to his chest.

He stares at the blonde a moment longer before his eyes move down to the brunette, "We don't have long left of your break Bell's just come play yeah?"

Her brows dip, nose scrunching as she steps back to place herself beside JJ, "We're a little busy right now 'princess' I'll meet you over there." JJ smirks, hiding it by ducking his head behind Bella

Rafe's lips pull, pushing his tongue to the inside of his mouth as he nods, "A'ight fine look I'm sorry 'kay? Now can we go?"

Bella shrugs, "Depends.."

Rafe frowns, looking between the two as he held back from mentioning JJ's hand against her bare skin beneath her shirt, "I'll pick you up somethin' on the way back a'ight. C'mon.." He reaches out a hand to grab hers, Bella quickly pulling back as she lets out a quiet 'nuh uh'.

"What? That's not it?" His brows furrow, body tensing as he tried his hardest to stay calm, the vein in his forehead growing more noticeable which pulls a laugh from the other blonde.

"Nope."

"Look Bella we-" He checks his watch, sighing through his words.

"Why'd you do it?"

"What?" He questions, oblivious to her meaning.

"Why do you always act like everyone's better than me?"

"I don't?"

"Wrong answer man.." Kelce mumbles as Topper distracts Callum from the conversation. JJ's eyes glued to Bella as he already noticed her tearing up.

//

"She's one of the most sensitive people I know. And don't get me wrong it's for good reason, I've never known someone have more shit happen to them then Bella fucking Brooks. It's just whenever anything or anyone makes her even remotely upset she starts to cry and I want to fucking break them. Bella being happy is the only thing I want in life and she isn't getting that by living with that prick, Callum. I mean look, Rafe makes her unbelievably happy but he's just an asshole and sometimes she realises that, and I'm glad she's not hidden from it or fucking hell would she be in for a fucking ride."

"I'm guessing you don't like the Cameron's very much then?"

"Well to be honest it's not that I don't like them, I mean they do make her happy and I love seeing her happy, like they've genuinely changed her life, you know. But me? Nah they fucking hate me." He laughs to himself, pushing his hair out his face and placing his hat back ontop his head. "So why should I like them if they don't like me huh? Any explanation would be appreciated."

//

“Okay Rafe.. JJ wants to talk, I’ll come join you in a minute!” She puts on a smile, tapping his hand gently before taking JJ’s and pulling him to the side.

Rafe’s eyes widen, just standing there and watching them.

//

“She does that a lot. Not wanting to continue the argument so she just ends it on a light note. But it’s like, I’d rather her argue back and tell me what’s going on in her head, you know. I never mean for it to end up an argument but sometimes I just raise my voice and then get frustrated at myself so it becomes like this cycle. I don’t blame her for not carrying it on and ignoring me but then it just makes me feel worse. I fucking hate that she just lets everything go, like no shout in my face and tell me I’m a horrible person, I deserve it!!”

//

Whilst JJ questions Bella about the previous night and her wellbeing, Rafe and the others grab their golf clubs and set up for the first hole.

/

“Okay sorry ready!” Bella skips over, hooking her hand into Rafe’s which causes him to look down suddenly.

“Everything okay..?” He whispers against her ear and she nods a response.

Bella steps closer to the T, placing her ball and lining up her club. Rafe watches her every move, his eyes skimming over every part of her body yet they didn’t reflect a look of desperation, but a look of guilt.

In Rafe’s mind Bella wore her uniform well: a black mini skirt, with a white half buttoned shirt tucked in. A small white apron wrapped round her waist and a pencil stuck behind her ear. Black maryjanes and white knee high socks. Her hair in a high ponytail with one of Rafe’s SnapBacks keeping it out her face.

She looks perfect. So why am I not happy?

She lifts her club to swing, the boys silent. A quiet ‘clink’ was heard before the boys started cheering and screaming.

The others take their turn until it was time to split off to find their balls. Rafe and Bella’s landed fairly close as they were the best in group.

“Dude she’s fucking good..” Kelce mutters to Topper as they look around for a white ball.

“Tell me about it. You think she’s getting private lessons?” Topper smirks, nudging Kelce’s side with his elbow as he raises his brows.

Kelce snickers, “From Rafe? Yeah wouldn’t surprise me..” He snorts, looking over at the two; Bella stood beside him, looking up at him sweetly as she slowly swayed back and forth. Rafe smirking down at her, hand against her waist.

“Right.. yeah well that’s a yes.” They both laugh, turning away instantly as Rafe catches their eye.

A loud yell was heard coming from inside the club, catching everyone’s attention before Rafe’s realisation kicks in. “What is it?” Bella questioned, concern coating her words as she frowns, grabbing a hold of his hand to stop him from walking away.

“Stay here please.” He orders, yanking himself from her grip and jogging back over to the club entrance. Bella’s eyes follow round to meet the other boys, them nodding to reassure her as she follows after him.

“Ayyyy princess! What you doing ‘ere?” Another unfamiliar face spoke, holding it his hands towards the girl which only caused Rafe to frown, swinging back his head.

His brows furrow, face tensing as he pushes Bella backwards by her arms, “I told you to stay over there..” He gravels softly, only concerned for her and nothing more.

“But it’s only Barry, Ray. It’s not like he’s gonna kill me.” She giggles, shrugging her shoulders as she gives a wave to the other man.

“You don’t know that..” His words don’t change her mind, evident by the way she doesn’t budge a centimetre, “Just.. stay close ‘Kay?”

“Okay!” She bubbles, taking his arm as they step back over to him, “Hey Bear!”

“Hey sweetheart. Your boyfriend here’s in serious trouble you know that?”

“What why??”

“He ain’t paid me back, it’s been two weeks and your man is being stingy.”

“Dude I don’t have the money right now!”

“Yeah well times up I’m afraid, country club. Give me some shit now or you gonna regret it later aight? Ya understand?”

“How much?” Bella questions, letting go of Rafe’s arm.

“It don’t matter Bee stay out of it.”

“I can get you some money Bear! I-“

“Bella!!” Rafe grabs her arm, pulling her back into him forcefully which causes her to whine. “What’d I say? Stay, out of it!”

“But Rafe he’s gonna hurt you.. you can pay me back!”

“He ain’t gonna pay you back princess! Look you ain’t got the money now, I’ll be back, 12 o’clock on the dot. You still ain’t got it? We gotta problem.”

“I’ll sort it alright? Just, I need more time! The money ain’t come in yet!!”

Bella hands Barry a piece of paper, a signature written at the bottom. “Take it. I don’t know. Just leave him be.” Her voice was shaky and quiet.

“Bella..”

“Rafe let me do this for you. I don’t want you to get in trouble again. It’s better to just leave it. Please..” She widens her doe eyes, looking into his own as she juts her bottom lip.

He sighs, looking over at Barry who was smirking down at the piece of paper, “Alright fine Bee.. but this ain’t okay.”

Her lips pull into a soft smile, her head bobbing, “I know, but neither is you getting hurt.” Her words cause Rafe to smile, him admiring her features as he pushes a loose hair from her face.

“Aww you two lovebirds want some space or what?”

“Fuck off Barry you got what you want!”

Barry leaves and Rafe and Bella carry on their game of golf; Bella and Callum being the competitive two who keep heckling one another across the course. Bella however had to leave early to finish her shift so once the boys were done they seated themselves on a spare table inside.

Sofia took care of their table, which earned the boys a few stares and glances every once in a while from their friend. Rafe being sure to keep his distance and keep his eyes to himself, throwing a few snarky complaints every other sentence.

Bella got a message from Ward to say that they’ve gone out for dinner so the house is theirs for the night. Bella and Rafe bring their clothes home with them and on the way they pick up some take out; taking it out onto the Druthers and enjoying their night with the others.

“Ward is gonna kill me..” Bella whispers to Topper, leaning over the seat to get closer whilst her brother was inside. Rafe’s hand was glued to her back, his fingers hooking into her bikini strap to keep her balance whilst she leans forward.

“What why..??” The blonde scrunched his face.

“Because..! I gave Barry all my money and I haven’t paid him back for the house yet..” Topper’s eyes widen, choking on his beer.

“Bella! That was like two days ago he asked for that shit! What’re you gonna do..??”

“There’s nothing I can do..”

“Bee my dad ain’t gonna get mad at you for anything now is he? He ain’t who she’s worried ‘bout Top.” Rafe’s eyes follow inside to meet her brother’s figure as he makes his way out to sit beside Kelce.

“What?” He furrows his brows, watching Bella’s figure.

“Nothin’.” Rafe answers, pulling her up by her strap to make it less obvious to Callum what she’s talking about. She rests back against Rafe’s bare chest, nestling her head into his neck as she closes her eyes.

Topper reaches for Bella’s leg, tapping lightly which causes her to look down at him, one eye open. “I’ll sort it out..” He mouths, giving her a wink before sitting back not waiting for her response.

“Tired girl hm..?” Rafe mutters, placing a kiss to the top of her head as his hand gently rubs against her waist.

Callum rests his head against the chair arm, his arms under his head as he rests his eyes also. Topper watches the ocean and Kelce plays on his phone whilst Rafe enjoys the comfort of his friend’s body against his own.

The land grew darker as the stars appeared like little specs in the sky. The water sat calm against the boat as the temperature cooled. The boys made their way back inside and Rafe carried Bella to the couch.

//

“You can’t tell me that there isn’t something between them Topper.”

“Oh no if you ask me he’s head over heels for her. Don’t tell him I said that..”

“What about her?”

“Well that’s the thing, if you’ve watched the show back you can clearly see she’s like that with everyone. But then again she does have a soft spot for Cameron so I honestly couldn’t tell you.”

//

Like Topper said, this next clip may be an answer to Ryan’s question, but then again maybe not.

Everyone was asleep in the living room, it was now around 2 am and Bella had just awoken; stretching out her body as she scouts the area, quickly noticing someone’s missing. She sits up, looking around as her fingers come up to rub her eyes, trying to clear her vision.

She takes a deep breath as she squeezes her fists together, going round the couch. A light from outside catches her gaze and she follows it to the glass doors where the boy is viewable.

Her brows furrow, her body now covered by one of Rafe’s baggy tops which she assumed he put on her when they came in. She quietly and slowly opens the door, her eyes stuck to the other sleeping boys as she makes her way outside.

Rafe sat himself on a pool chair, his arms behind his head whilst he watched the stars in the sky. After everyone had gone to bed he had spoken to Ryan about the clips from last night; not being able to sleep afterwards so he decided to keep to himself by the pool.

//

“So Rafe you wanted to watch that clip with Bella and Topper from last night?”

“Uh..” He scratches the back of his head, eyes avoiding contact, “Yeah if that’s a’ight..”

“Yeah of course Rafe! Sit down we’ll pull it up now.” Ryan sets up Wards computer so Rafe could watch without any interruptions whilst he places himself in the office chair.

/

“Bells can you tell me what’s going on? I know this isn’t the first you’ve felt like this.”

She sighs, placing herself onto her bed whilst she slides off her shorts to replace them with some pyjama bottoms. “Top it’s fine..”

“No I’m serious. You said you were feeling better!” Topper sits beside Bella, passing her the top that was thrown to the edge of her bed.

She looks down, fiddling with the straps of her vest, “I guess.. I don’t know.. things just never got better..”

“What things? You mean-“

“Everything Top.. with Rafe. With Callum. Even with Ward I don’t know.. it’s just never the same as it used to be and I don’t understand whyyy!!!” She cries, shoving her vest over her eyes to cover her face whilst she let tears stain the fabric.

“Hey hey Bells c’mere.” He reaches his arm round her waist, pulling her into his lap as she curls her legs up to her chest, sniffling into his shirt.

/

“You alright Rafe?”

“Yeah fine.” He couldn’t understand if he was jealous or upset. Either way he hated how he felt and despite wanting to know what happened he didn’t want to carry on watching.

/

“Top I want it to stop.. I want it all to just stop. Why can’t it just be like it used to.. why do they have to change..” She sniffles, stuttering and gasping at every other word. “I miss my best friends Tops.. I want my best friends back..!” She whines, dying for air as her sobs become too uncontrollable.

“Bella I wish I could do something to help but unfortunately they’re both too far gone to change.. I’m always here though I promise.. you can always come stay with me if all else fails..”

“You’re just saying that Top.. Cos Sarah dumped you..”

“I mean it Bells, I’ve always thought of you like a little sister and nothings gonna change that. I’d give you the world if I could!” He strokes her hair, moving it away from her face as his other hand rubs against her back. “I promise that I’d never leave you.. and I can promise that even if it seems like the most impossible thing, Rafe does care about you more than anything, we all know that.. don’t give up on him Bells.. he needs you just as much as you need him. And if anyone can fix this mess it’s you! And I believe that with every piece of me.”

She sits up, her lips pulling as she wipes her face dry, “Thanks Top.. you’ve always been so sweet to me.. but could you stay? Just ‘till I fall asleep? I don’t wanna be alone..”

“Of course I can..” He smiles, speaking gently as he tucks her hair behind her ear. She offers him a smile before tucking herself into bed; Topper leaning down and placing a kiss to her forehead before sitting beside her bed, holding her hand tightly and muttering little reassuring words to help her feel safe.

/

“Thanks Top..” Rafe mutters to himself before quickly exiting the room.

//

“Rafe..?” Bella spoke quietly, “What’re you doing out here?” Rafe’s head quickly turns towards her, smiling softly as he realises who it was.

“Can’t sleep.. go back to bed Bee.” He sits back, groaning as he stretches his limbs.

Bella walks around to sit herself upon the chair next to him, crossing her legs as she faces him.

He looks at her, furrowing his brows, “What’re you doing?”

She pulls a smile to her lips, shrugging her shoulders lightly, “Showing you that you’re not alone!” She reaches over to take his hand, taking a moment to watch her thumb graze his skin, sighing before opening her mouth, her eyes not moving from their joined hands, “Rafe I- I can’t pretend like I don’t see it.. Like I don’t know that you’re hurting. Because I know..” She looks up at him, her eyes already glistening as she squeezes his hand, “I know! And the fact you don’t talk about it hurts because it means I don’t know what I’m meant to do..” Her words tremble as her lip wobbles, her voice cracking as it got quieter the more she spoke. A tear forming in the corner of her eye.

He doesn’t look at her, only rubs his thumb along her palm, him biting his other nails.

“We can turn the cameras off whenever we want. You told me that. You!” She pats a finger against his chest, her words coming out as whines as it became increasingly harder for her to hold herself back from crying, seeing her best friend struggling so bad. “If that’s what it’ll take for you to talk to me then I can make that happen.. Or we can go talk somewhere else like my room at home or something I don’t know, I don’t care I just..” She pauses a moment to take a deep breath.

“Because I know it’s not the cameras Rafe.. You wanted to do this show, you were actually excited about it, you told me that! But it’s those little moments where your smile slips that I can just tell that you’re not okay but if I ask you just push it off.. I just..” Her eyes well up as a tear slips down her cheek, “Your my best friend Rafe!!!” She cries out, lips pouted and wobbly as she tries to speak, “I- I can’t act like there’s nothing wrong just because I know you won’t tell me. I want to know what’s wrong so I can.. I don’t know, talk about it or hold you or something!! Just.. it hurts me Rafe and I want to be able to help you.. please..” She pleads out through her teary voice, her throat drying as she tries to steady her breathing.

Rafe turns away, not being able to keep it all in as he lets go, tears running down his plush cheeks; trying to wipe them away but it not stopping more from forming.

Bella sits beside him, pulling him into her arms as she pats his head lightly, “It’s okay.. I got you..” She rests her head to his own as her hand grazes his hairs against the back of his neck.

He begins to sob; choked up breaths falling from his lips as he gasps for air, soaking Bella’s top in salty tears as he grips onto it with his spare hand.

“I just don’t know what to do.. I can’t do it anymore Bells.. I’m trying.. I’m fucking trying my best..” He chokes into her chest, causing the girl to squeeze her eyes shut, tears falling from her cheeks as she sniffles, trying to hold together for him. Her grip on him tightening without even realising as she pulls him as far into herself as she possibly could not wanting to let go.

“I know you are Ray I know.. and I am so unbelievably proud of you.. but you can do it..! You can I know it.. you’re the bravest and strongest person I know Rafe.. but it’s okay to feel stuck sometimes.. and that’s what I’m here for okay..? I’m here for those moments when you feel like that..” She kisses his head, her fingers running circles along his neck.

“Fuck I need you Bells.. every damn day I feel like without you I’m gonna fuck up and I want to die.. you’re the only person I’ve ever cared about and I.. your the only reason I’m even still here..” His voice was barely hearable as he pushed his face into the soft material, muffling his cracked words; tugging on her top firmly.

“Rafe..” She managed through a gasp of inhale, tugging lightly at his hair as his words cut deeper than intended.

“No I.. it’s a good thing..” He raises his head, glassy eyes already filling again as his cheeks glistened in the moonlight, “I just.. I never wanted to put that pressure on you.. so..”

She blinked at him, “So you never talked about it..” She nods along, finally understanding everything clearer now.

He merely nods; breaking down once again, chest heaving as he tries keeping it back.

Bella’s brows furrow, her eyes welling at the sight of her best friend struggling so hard; she reaches for him, “Hey no let it all out..” She pulls him back into her chest, lightly rubbing his back as she rests her head to his, “It’s okay I got you..”

He falls back against her, squeezing her like she was his only lifeline, like she was the only thing keeping him grounded anymore. He sniffles, “I’m so sorry..”

Bella’s emotions immediately cut short, face contorting in confusion, “What-“

“For everything.. for always pushing you away.. for-“ He cuts her off but she felt herself aching from his words.

“Rafe-“ She tugs at his shirt trying to get him to sit up as she almost begs him to stop.

“Treating you like shi-“

“Rafe!!” She cries, “Stop apologising! For gods sakes Rafe none of this is your fault.. why else do you think I’m still here?? Your dad’s an asshole, your friends are shit, your sisters hate you. Rafe I understand.. so much more than you’ll ever know.. I understand.. don’t you ever go apologising to me again for shit that wasn’t your fault..”

He stops talking, only squeezing his grip tighter as he nuzzles his face into her skin of her neck. “Bella..” He whispers against her skin.

She hums in response, focusing on comforting him as her head rested gently against his whilst her hand caressed the back of his head.

“How do I make it stop..?” He pleads hopelessy, almost begging for the answer, “How do I make the pain go away.. it hurts Bells..” He chokes out in a tear-driven whine, “And.. and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do..” His arms wrap around the girl tightly, digging his face deeper into her skin, “I don’t know what to do anymore..” He croaks, his face hidden in her shoulder.

“I..” Bella searches for an answer but nothing comes to mind as she stutters, “I.. R-Rafe all you can do is push through.. and I- I’m so sorry to say that.. we can get you checked out or you can speak to a therapist maybe.. if I could take it all away Ray you know I would.. I’m so sorry.. I- I feel so useless..” She cries, resting her head onto his, her eyes pushing into his strands as she holds him tightly.

He merely shakes his head, silence falls as they just sit there, she lets him cry it out, letting out small ‘its okay’s and ‘I’m here rafe’s whilst stroking his head, and cuddling him for comfort.

After they both calmed down Rafe sits back up, taking a minute to process his thoughts before speaking. “Bells, you ever um.. You ever had to make like a really tough decision..?” He kept his voice low as he lifted his knees to his chest, he eyes sat on his hands that wrapped around his legs.

Her brows dip as she looks up at him, her hand snaking round his leg as she gently caressed it, “What’re you on about Rafe?”

He shrugs, “Just like you know.. having to do something that’ll affect the way people view you.. How people really close to you see you..”

Bella grew more confused, yet concern fuelled her expressions as she glued her eyes to Rafe’s, “Rafe what’s going on?”

“Nothing just wondering..” He mumbled, leaning his head against his knees.

However Bella persists, “Rafe whatre you being made to do? What’s the decision?” She runs her fingers through his hair, her words causing him to sit up.

“It’s not important Bells..”

She jerks a brow, her face scrunching, “Yes it’s important Rafe! Everything you do is important to me!!”

His eyes widen, finally meeting hers before a sigh falls from his lips, “Bella I’m serious..! I don’t ask a lot from you but please just don’t worry about this a’ight..?”

“But Rafe-“

“No buts Bella! I’m fine..”

She watches him. Watches as his ocean eyes wonder the sky, as his fingers intertwine and pick at one another, as his hair gently shifted in the breeze.

Frowning, she shakes her head, “Rafe..” His attention moves back to her, “You know um.. I have to continuously make the tough decision of staying with Cal everyday.. I don’t know everything that goes on with him. You don’t know everything. No one will.. I don’t want to leave him on his own but I also can’t let myself be treated this way. So I choose to stay anyways because I know I have you.. And if I chose to let him go, I know he’d be alone. And that’s not fair.. There you go.. yes is your answer. Everyday. You’re not alone Ray you never will be.. I promise, okay? Whatever it is you have to decide, I’ll be here. Right by your side through the whole thing. I promise..” She reaches out a hand to squeeze his own.

His eyes glaze her face, admiring her features; her soft plump lips, her brown chocolate eyes, her rosy cheeks that glistened from tears she cried for him.

He sighs, knowing that this decision, if he makes the wrong choice then she won’t be by his side. She can’t promise because she doesn’t know what she’s promising. And if he chooses wrong, they might never see each other again. She understands how hard it is, but she doesn’t understand how much harder it’ll get after he’s made his decision. And yet it’s one he’s going to have to make.

He shuts his eyes a moment, pushing away his thoughts before removing himself from the pool chair. Reaching out a hand to take hers he plasters on a smile, “C’mon Bee let’s go to bed..” She smiles back softly, nodding along to his words as her hand grips tightly around his fingers, not arguing back about the fact he wants to end the conversation.

He takes her upstairs, them both embracing one another in the warmth of his bedroom as they fall asleep tangled together. Neither one of them knowing how much each other needs it at this moment in time.

//

Thank you so much for watching this episode of Keeping up with the Camerons! I know it was a long one but there was so much that had happened today that we didn’t want anything to go unseen! See you again soon to join Rose on her motherly duties and maybe some comfort to today’s happenings..

Next Episode Here

It’s 12:30 AM so I’m not wrong in saying it’s already the next day 🤷‍♀️🤭 oops..

BUT HOPE YOU ENJOYED 💕

Masterlist

Taglist: @viawritesstuff @mymelodylvr @rafeinterlude @cerya @aariahnaa @42angelgirl @b1mb0slvt

[shadowisles-writes]

Golden ✨ Elucien Week Day 2

You’re so golden I’m out of my head, and I know that you’re scared Because hearts get broken - Golden, Harry Styles

@elucienweekofficial

No fic today but a mess of thoughts about Lucien’s side of the mating bond. I like focusing on Elain a lot, on trying to figure out how she feels being thrown into this new world she was taught to be scared of, and on understanding her experience. She so clearly falls apart in the books, sitting in that chair by the window doing nothing and saying nothing, meanwhile Lucien is the one trying to care for her, or fighting in the war.

I feel like he never gave himself the luxury of a break, or enough time to really fall apart when he should have. Lucien is the definition of “If I stay busy enough I won’t have to feel any of my emotions” and who would want to feel them when they can be so painful. Lucien should have fallen apart when Jesminda died and he truly believed she was his mate, but even then he had to focus on fleeing to the Spring Court, on following his instincts to survive.

What if his mating bond with Elain brought back all of those feelings he had pushed away? All that trauma he had never processed? And then, what kind of fear comes with knowing this bond neither of them asked for could cause that kind of pain all over again. Lucien’s reputation as a rake is only fun until you think of him when he was young, in love with Jesminda, and you see him age without ever forming a romantic attachment to anyone again.

I think Elain has actually gone through a lot of her healing process, and Lucien still needs to truly start that journey. Feysand and Nessian gave us female perspectives of being helped and put back together by their mates, and Rhys and Cassian’s suffering were often presented secondarily due to the POV. What if this time we get to understand what is happening in Lucien’s mind, to see the world through his eyes, and to watch him find joy in life again through Elain?

I would love nothing more than to see him learn of his true heritage and find a court he can call home, because the happiness this could bring him would radiate. And then… who isn’t attracted to a warm patch of sunlight during a dark day? I can see Elain curious to know more about the Day Court that seems to make him so content, I can see Lucien eager to tell her more, and the discovery for both of them that fitting in is possible.

At the end of their journey, I can see them both in the Day Court, sitting in the grass and bathing in golden light with a smile on their faces.

[royal-tea-blogs]

Lily Orchard Deserves Better

These thoughts have been rumbling around in my mind for a while now and considering what happened recently with her tumblr being taken down twice and the recent situations, I just wanted to give my two cents so my brain can stop bothering me about it. Heads up for typos and grammar since I wrote this on my phone.

The first Lily Orchard video I ever watched was Over Cooked, a video about Steven Universe’s handling of Amethysts character. Now even as a 12 year old at the time I still knew it was better for me to avoid the content I know would make me mad, and I was a huge fan of SU at the time. But curiosity got the better of me and I ended up watching it.

Then I watched more. Because she made sense. Then I wanted more of her videos. I vividly remember thinking to myself “wow that was harsh” every now and then, but beyond that there weren’t too many cases where I was actually mad at her (because I’m not a pathetic diaper baby who gets mad at opinions what who said that?)

I watched her from then on rip my previous favourite show to pieces, I watched her rip brony pedos and crybabies to pieces and I loved nearly all of it, even if I didn’t agree with some of it.

It took me a while, don’t get me wrong. She discussed it herself in a few videos: people on the internet are used to a lot of shield jokes and bootlicking by the creators (which is fine!). But once I built of more of a tolerance by listening to what she had to say, I found myself a lot more critical in the long run.

Now I still haven’t quite learned my lesson on my curiosity getting me to watch things that I know will make me mad, so I’ve seen a few Lily Orchard debunking videos. Near every single time it is blatantly obvious that they either didn’t understand what her actual point was, or are deliberately misunderstanding it. I just wanted to grab my monitor and shake it screaming “THATS LITERALLY NOT WHAT SHE MEANT” but alas.

The sheer amount of harassment that Lily has gone through for OVER A DECADE is ridiculous. Especially considering a huge amount is from whiny cartoon stans who have nothing going on in their lives.

As for the criminal allegations, if they have the proof they claim (and proof that has apparently convinced other friends so apparently despite Lily’s previous support of them) then take it to a courtroom. I’m personally done listening to those sorts of accusations until something is at least ATTEMPTED to be done about it in a meaningful manner.

As for Stockholm allegations: I’ve seen the clips. I saw one years ago and it broke my heart at the time. It does seem like Lily might have written Stockholm. But I haven’t done lots of searching into that. You know why?

Lily has made it abundantly clear, for the entire seven years I’ve been watching her (at least as long as I can remember) EXACTLY where she stands when it comes to pedophilic behavior, proshippers, abuse victims, and that type of content.

Did she write Stockholm? Her behavior and stance nowadays means that, to me at least, it doesn’t matter. The Lily of today (hell, even years ago) certainly wouldn’t support such a fic and would rake the writer over hot fiery coals, she’s made that blatantly obvious.

Would admitting if she did write it been the morally correct thing to do instead of denying it? Yes.

Do I blame her for a denying it (if she did write it)? After seeing even a tip of the harassment iceberg she’s had to endure for far pettier things? I don’t blame her a bit.

Either she never wrote Stockholm and she’s always held these beliefs and behaviors, or she saw the error of her previous behavior and CHANGED FOR THE BETTER. It’s not like it would have been the last time, I see she tries her best to correct her mistakes.

Honestly? That’s good enough for me. Harassing her over a fic from a decade ago that she has either never even written or blatantly disowned and now condemn the very behavior of is just nonsense. All of it is.

Anyways Lily, I love your content and I really hope you can keep doing what you’re doing and writing what you love ❤️

[obislittleone]

The Winner Takes It All

Episode 11

Pairing: Finnick Odair x Tribute(OC)!Reader

Chapter Warnings: more death, more canon typical violence, literally this one is so sad idk what else to say (sassy and protective finnick from the capitol)

Chapter Summary: The numbers are dwindling down, and allies are falling from every side of the competition. Meanwhile, Finnick is struggling with the Capitol citizens.

Word Count: 5.4k

i launched my fashion brand yesterday at an event, not that anyone cares lmaooo (if you do care please follow @houseofaven on instagram!!!)

“It’s the girl, right?”  Finnick didn’t really know what to say. She’d cornered him with nothing he could say. Should he even say anything at all? Or just remain silent? Turns out, even if he doesn’t say a word, this recent victor has a way of showing him just how much she already knows. 

You’d cried, and cried some more. You cried your heart out and felt like you’d reached the limit of spent tears for the rest of your life. Of course, you didn’t necessarily think your life would last too much longer, now. There were six tributes remaining, and you were positive that everyone else in the arena was more worthy of the win. You’d probably be the next to go. 

You’d finally fallen asleep, arms wrapped tightly around the person who’d been the first to hold you since it happened. Rodey stayed still, his arms around you in a comforting grip, one hand smoothing over the unruly strands of your hair. It had originally been in a complicated and neat braid, but after a few days of running and hiking and falling into water, it didn’t look quite as good as it probably did originally. 

Lukas sat and watched with pity, his best friend who seemingly was stronger than any trial she faced, having to be comforted so deeply by someone she barely knew. But he understood, Rodey had a fancy for her, and was happy to see that it held up in her time of need. He hoped that the extent of his fast feelings would go further than to just comfort you, though. 

“I don’t get it. Copelin and Freeda died, too. She didn’t shed a tear…” Rodey whispered, only loud enough for Lukas to hear. Rodey was supposed to be sleeping, too. He was supposed to take the next watch before the morning, which would be yours, but he couldn’t stop the thoughts from swirling in his mind. He didn’t ever think that his hunger games tribute crush would amount to anything, because it literally could not. But here he was, letting her cling to him as if she were wet clothes on his back. 

“She feels guilty for Lyra,” he explained. He knew your heart, and the things you put yourself through sometimes on the account of other people. You’d been bullied as a kid for your stutter, and somehow you’d thought it was actually your fault. You were the one with a speech impediment, they wouldn’t be making fun of you if you didn’t have it. That mentality shook him to his core many times in his life. It’s why he’d struck up that first conversation, all those years ago. To try and know you, to understand that there was a person behind the botched up sentences. 

“It wasn’t her fault.”

“I know. It’s just how she thinks.”

“She has to know that it could’ve been any of us, right? It’s not like Lyra sacrificed herself…” Rodey didn’t seem to be getting the point in Lukas’ words. Didn’t seem to understand that you didn’t feel guilty about the snake. 

“That’s not it,” Lukas sat forward, his eyes raking over your slowly breathing form before shaking his head a bit. “She feels guilty that after the venom started, she couldn’t stop it.” 

“She tried. Lyra didn’t want her to.”

“Yeah.”

Rodey was still confused. You weren’t responsible for the girl’s death in any way, so why, when you’d shown her extreme mercy, did you find fault in yourself? You should be proud that you didn’t let her suffer, that you didn’t cause her more pain and anguish in the last moments she had left. 

“The snake bit Lyra, but Mercedes let the venom kill her.”

And then Rodey understood. He sat in silence for a second before prying just a bit, only since she wasn’t awake to hear.

“How long have you known her?” He asked, his brow furrowed from curiosity.

“Nine years, maybe ten. It’s been a while, we met as kids.” 

And in those nine, maybe ten years, he’d learned more about you than any other person possibly could. In those years, during the trials of not only childhood, but nearing adulthood, where he’d become in tune to your emotions, he almost felt them with you. He was the greatest friend you’d ever known, and he loved you as such. 

“I won’t ever understand how you spent that much of your life with her, and never fell in love,” he said jokingly, only, it was partly true. He’d been thinking about it since that first conversation about you in the cave. 

“I think I did, once. When we were fourteen, she had a crush on this one guy… total douchebag, by the way,” Lukas laughed, thinking back to that time. You’d been head over heels for a boy simply because he spoke to you. He didn’t treat you well, but he did interact with you, which was a rare sight to see outside of Lukas himself. “She asked me how to impress him, what other guys like, stupid stuff like that.”

“And did you tell her?” 

“Of course I did. I wanted to help her,” he paused again, looking over at you and remembering those feelings, now long gone and replaced with a friendly love for you. “She tried on this one dress she had, thinking maybe he’d notice her more. She started spinning around her room and acting like some sorta crazed wind turbine.”

Rodey laughed, too. He could picture you, your sweet smile and wonderful personality showing through as you spun around in your favorite sundress. He imagined it was a light blue, or maybe a sea foam green with white lace around the edges. Either way, you were probably beautiful in it. It’s a shame he’ll never see you wear one.

“I just sat on her bed and watched her. I thought then that maybe we’d grow up and I’d marry her or something… but then we got older and she started arguing with me about things I didn’t even realize needed an argument.”

“So she’s a fighter after all,” Rodey replied, slightly surprised by the change in tune. It didn’t seem possible, because you seemed all too gentle natured to argue with anyone. 

“Not really, I usually won every argument. The point is, I loved her too much as a friend to even take a chance, and after a while, I guess those feelings wore off.”

The boy across from him nodded, careful not to wake you up. He tried to shift in place, but wouldn’t dare move any further if he felt you stirring. 

There were a few moments of silence before Rodey started back in. 

“Truth be told, I think she’s the first person I’ve ever met that I’ve felt this way for. The girls in my district are these beautiful, amazing creatures that are practically skilled from the time they exit the womb… the thing is, career girls don’t exactly have a finity for career boys until they become victors. Makes it kind of hard for us to even try.”

“You’re kidding,” now it was Lukas’ turn to be shocked. A tall, handsome, dashing boy like Rodey never received any female attention from his district? Now, that was something to hear. He almost didn’t believe it. 

“I’m absolutely serious. They think we’re stupid and brutish and whatever else,” he rolled his eyes, circling back to his last comment. “Now, I mostly agree with them… but even still.”

“It’s like they can sense they’re smarter than us,” Lukas joked, squinting his eyes towards you, fast asleep in Rodey’s arms. 

“The girl I came here with, Estelle… She's just about as stoic as they come. She’s here to win, and honestly, I just hope someone else takes her out before we have to.”

“You’d want her dead before us?” Lukas was taken a bit off guard, but wasn’t too surprised by his statement. Estelle seemed like a hardass, and he had no intention of trying to fight her. He knew he’d lose. He didn’t want you to be in that position, either. 

Rodey shrugged, his face indifferent to the girl he’d mentioned. 

“She’s not my ally anymore. She left me and the rest of the careers, why should I want her to outlast you?”

“I don’t know. Just curious, I guess.”

Rodey felt that maybe Lukas didn’t believe the extent of his affection for you. Maybe he was having a hard time believing such things could be true so fast. He wanted- no, needed to convince him.

“Listen, I know I haven’t known her long, but I do have feelings for her. I’m willing to prove it if I have to.”

Lukas didn’t want to argue with this boy. He was the best shot you and him had at staying alive another day. As long as you stayed together, you’d be the strongest alliance. You didn’t know what the other three tributes were up to, but Lukas felt that by now, Estelle and Brock from eleven had teamed up, leaving one last lonesome tribute on her own. The girl from three. 

“I asked you this already but you couldn’t answer me… are you willing to die for her?” 

Rodey smiled, looking down at you. He was a skilled tribute, and he felt he’d lived a great life thus far… but he didn’t want to watch you die in this arena just so he could make it out. Maybe you were just making him soft, but he felt that he could now answer Lukas’ question now, with great confidence. 

“I don’t think I’m getting out of here… but she might. I’d rather make it easier for her.”

Lukas didn’t know what he was expecting, but hearing it from his own lips, that he was willing to die in your place… he had quickly given respect to him as a tribute, as a fighter who would continue to labor not for himself but for her to escape. A career volunteers to win… but if he wins what then? Does he just forget about the girl he’d fallen so quickly for? How she would die so he could live? He didn’t even like thinking about it, so he put an end to it.

Lukas let this resonate with him. The boy was serious, and it seemed as though he understood that with dwindling numbers, the chances of him being next were sinking in. 

“I know I said not to tell her that you… you know,” Lukas trailed, but having regrouped his words, he started on again, his permission coming about. “But maybe you should.”

“Really?” Rodey looked at him skeptically.

“Yeah, I mean… guys haven’t ever paid her any attention. I think she’d wanna know if one finally did.”

Rodey was thankful. Not because he earned your best friend’s permission to tell you about his feelings, but because he’d earned his respect. 

It didn’t take him long after that to fall asleep with you, leaving Lukas to take watch until it was his turn. 

-

Finnick was practically pulling his hair out. These two idiots had no idea what they were doing, everytime they romanticized you, or made you out to be this ethereal being that they couldn’t help but look to for your beauty. He’d been back in the Elite Capitol Lounge, the winner’s circle, if you will… but he felt like the biggest loser there ever was. Everything he did to get you out of this arena, and now that he was almost certain you would make it, the talk of you escalated. 

Capitol men thirsted for a taste of you, longed to be near and beside you, or worse, inside you. He thought he’d been upset when he first heard the two comments of those men earlier. Now he was fuming, hearing things far nastier and without a filter. The men didn’t care that he was your mentor, or that he was hearing the perverse things they said. They said them without remorse, planning to empty their pocketbooks out onto the table to ensure your survival, just to have a taste of you. Finnick felt like throwing up several times in the night, but now his anger took him over. 

He wished he could just send a petty sponsor to Lukas, just so he could write a note that said ‘STOP TALKING ABOUT MERCEDES!’ in bold letters. He had no idea what to do, now. If you came home, and this terror was all that awaited you, he would not be able to sleep at night for the rest of his life. He would be the mentor that was selfish enough to promise himself a victor, at the cost of your physical and mental wellbeing. 

Rodey was just a kid. Lukas was just a kid. They had no idea what was happening right now, and how could they? Those boys were doing all they could to stay alive in the arena, and also doing their best to care for you. Rodey had saved you from the panther, and Lukas saved you from drowning. Today, they comforted you during the loss of an ally you felt you betrayed. They were doing everything he wishes he could do for you, and yet, he still finds reason to be angry with them. 

He listens to Rodey’s confession, that he would die for you, and an echoed response of a filthy tongued man in the room, not far from him. 

“I would die for her, too. Only if she rides me till I’m gone,” he says smugly, his tone is one of a joke, and it earns the laughter of whoever is stupid enough to be standing close by 

Finnick can’t take it anymore, and acts impulsively. He raises the glass in his hand, throwing it as hard as he can into the wall across from him, barely missing several people by doing so. His face is red and hot, and he knows he’ll explode and kill that guy if he doesn’t leave. 

He steps down to the couch his white-knit sweater rested on and grabs it, quickly rushing his walk towards the door, not even realizing he was being followed out. 

“Hey!” an aggressive shout of the elder mentor was heard behind him, and he stopped before hitting the street, turning around. Haymitch Abernathy, not quite as drunk as he usually is, even though both his tributes are dead already. “Call me crazy, but I don’t think that scene was warranted.”

FInnick scoffed, shaking his head and getting ready to walk away again. 

“I really don’t need this right now,” his hand wiped over his face, the sweat from his palm making his face a bit cooler when the wind hit against it. He needed to cool down, because he was so close to blowing up. 

“You’ve got no reason to be this upset, right now. Both your tributes are alive, and barely a scratch on em’.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, alright?” Finnick shot back, not quite sure why his feet remain still when he’d rather be back at his and Mags’ apartment, where he can stew in his misery without the looming threat of eyes constantly watching. 

“Try me,” Haymitch held his arms out, willing the younger man to explain what his outburst was all about. 

Finnick had told other victors about this before, but only because he suspected they had gone through it, too. Both Cashmere and Gloss from one had been given the same punishment as him, and for years, he’d felt they understood him. A stunningly gorgeous model of a victor from eight had also been cornered by Snow. He didn’t want to suggest Haymitch was undesirable, but being from twelve, Haymitch had started with a disadvantage, he was never a favorite of the Capitol. It was in these times, during the games themselves, in which a tribute gained popularity and status that would far outlast the final boom of the cannon.

“Do you know about Snow’s favors?” Finnick came closer to the man, and Haymitch, as clueless as he’d been before, started putting together the pieces. He might be a drunkard, but he’s for certain not an idiot.

“I’ve heard some things,” he spoke more evenly now, his sympathy growing the more he realized this wasn’t just a pathetic temper tantrum from the Capitol’s darling. “Mostly just talk, ‘bout assisting folks in the Capitol…”

“Do you know what gets you there?” 

“I can’t say that I do,” he admitted, swallowing his pride for a moment and hearing Finnick's explanation. 

The younger man directed his eyes back towards the building, where despite the broken glass still being brushed away, the party ensued with great joy and probably more whispers of how much they would like to ruin you. 

“That, in there. The things they’re saying about Mercedes, the way they think she’s some sort of object that they can use when they want to. She hasn’t even made it out of that arena yet, and they’re already making plans, getting their payments ready.”

Haymitch couldn’t even say another word. He looked to the younger man, scanning his features for what he believed to be actual concern. Something he hasn’t seen on Finnick for his tributes since… well, ever. 

The need to find out more dissipates completely as Finnick’s face heats up from his small rant. 

“Tell me again how that ‘scene’ was unwarranted.”

And with that, Finnick walked away.

-

The next morning, Johanna cornered Finnick in the lounge, handing him one of the many drinks they had been serving around. Does anyone in this place do anything else except for drink and gossip? 

“Try not to chuck that one against the wall.”

“Ha,” his sarcasm laced through his tone, but he had been grateful for the drink. 

“I’ve been counting the times you leave the couch,” she started, sitting near him, her attitude seemingly much more angry than how she had been before. “Three times. Except one of those doesn’t count, because you only stood up to get closer to the screen.”

“Today might be the last day,” he shrugged, throwing back almost all the liquor from his glass. He hated being completely sober in times of immense anxiety. 

“So then what about yesterday? Or maybe the day before?” 

He ducked his head, the screen not of any use to him while it showed the girl from district three, building some sort of contraption whilst Caesar Flickerman narrated. They all suspected it was a sort of protection device, one she could set up and not have to worry about defending herself. 

“You said it yourself, the odds are in my favor. It’s never been like this before.”

“So, who’s your pick?” 

“Excuse me?” 

She was leaning on the backrest when he turned his head to meet her stare.

“It’s the girl, right?” 

Finnick didn’t really know what to say. She’d cornered him with nothing he could say. Should he even say anything at all? Or just remain silent?

Turns out, even if he doesn’t say a word, this recent victor has a way of showing him just how much she already knows. 

“I get it. She’s kind, smart, beautiful,” she taunted, though Finnick hated hearing those words repeated to him, knowing just how much trouble it’s causing her, or will cause her. “And she helped Lyra.”

Finally, a change of subject. Lyra was a year behind Johanna. She was a friend of hers in school. A tragic loss that she chooses to cope with by gossiping among other victors, making them as uncomfortable as she constantly feels.

“I’m sorry about your tributes,” he spoke solemnly, giving her an apologetic glance. 

“I knew they weren’t going to make it.”

“Even still.”

His eyes turned back to the screen when Caesar started narrating your morning routine, waking up and eating whatever was left from yesterday’s catch. You’d also taken an apple from the small stash to keep up your energy. Smart girl. 

He watched Rodey approach you, sitting down beside your little patch against the nearest tree. Finnick knew what conversation was about to play out, and honestly, he didn’t much care to watch it… except for there had been a surprise turn of events that he wasn’t expecting.

-

You’d woken up earlier than you anticipated, and snorted a laugh when you realized that the boys had both been asleep. You weren’t sure which one was supposed to keep watch, but you’d say they did a stupendous job. You went about the early morning, the dawn of the day being a quiet reminder that yet another day had passed, and you were still here. You weren’t going to win, but already you’d made it further than you had originally planned for. Part of you thought you were going to die in the bloodbath, unwilling to kill someone else for the sake of your own life. But your allies had your back, and they still do. 

You would have died three times, had it not been for the help they had given you. You could have drowned, mauled to death, or eaten alive. Lukas, Rodey, and Lyra. They all saved you, and now one of them is gone… and it’s your fault.

You had to try not to dwell on it. You’d cried all your tears out, and today was about staying alive, not mourning those who could not. 

You didn’t eat for several hours, you wanted to wait till the boys woke up to see how you were going to be splitting and saving the rations. 

Lukas was the first to wake, having gotten a longer sleep than Rodey, still clinging to one of the backpacks you’d slipped into his arms in your place. He was a sweet boy. He was lethal, a killer of three other tributes, but still, a sweet boy. Tributes don’t have the luxury of being one or the other. Everyone in this arena has to acknowledge that, one time or another. Rodey doesn’t let it sink into his skin, though. He tried to remain happy, humorous, never taking himself too seriously. He and Lukas had gotten on better than anyone else could have expected. Lukas was a non-career tribute, but he still volunteered. That has to command the respect of the other careers, right? Except Freeda and Copelin picked on him, and Estelle straight up hated him. All for his connection to you, but even still. 

Lukas wasn’t taken seriously as a contender until the day he was scored. You still have no idea what he did to earn that perfect twelve. You had thought you’d performed as average, but the game makers thought otherwise. Your strength and skill, matched with your wit and pure imagination… That's what won you those numbers.

You thought to yourself more, wondering if you’d ever get another chance to ask those things of Lukas, or if your time was nearly up. 

You’d made peace with your death before you even entered the arena. You even tried to look for it. Now, you treasured every last second you had, waiting blissfully unaware of when the last moment would pass. 

When Rodey finally woke up, you all centered yourselves in the middle of the cornucopia, a makeshift breakfast being passed around. Leftover fish, and some of the plant food the others had scouted. You took an apple from the sack of supplies, almost gone for how little there was to begin with. You were lucky enough to have exclusive access to the cornucopia. If you hadn’t been the primary users, you felt you may have died to other causes than just being attacked, or in your strange case, drowning. 

You walked out of the centerpiece of the arena, wanting to sit under a large canopy of tree branches. As much as you detested this place, you could not help but admit, it was beautiful. You’d never seen a rainforest before. Never seen a forest before. You had lots of plant life on four, but it was mostly tropical, palm trees, common gorse, beach grass, and even seaweed that washed up nearly every morning. You missed those things. The little things that you regretted you wouldn’t see again, mostly because you took them for granted before. They had been so mundane, so ordinary, you didn’t think there was anything to miss about them.

You’d nearly finished your apple when Rodey came to sit beside you, his back against one of the trees beside your little patch on the ground. 

“M-morning to ya,” you smiled, another bite of your apple gone the next second. 

“Morning…” He seemed nervous, and tense… and awkward. He’d acted so different before, you hoped this wasn’t about bad news. “Can I talk to you?”

“Of c-course,” you replied, trying to remain genuine, though you feared what he might say to you… was the time drawing near that the tributes were going to turn on each other? Was he asking if it was okay to kill you if he had to? Maybe you should just listen to the poor kid, and stop jumping to conclusions.

“I know this might be sudden, and I know that I don’t really have any reason to be telling you this,” he chuckled under his breath, his hand reaching up to scratch his neck. 

What on earth is this about?

He seemed stuck, but you didn’t want to interrupt, so as you most of the time did, you just sat quietly, waiting for him to speak. 

“I think I might have feelings f-”

A wild scream caught both of your attention, and you turned your head to face it the second you heard. The girl from three, anger written on her face, charged towards you, causing an immediate panic. You and Rodey jumped from your sitting position, and he reached into his cargo pants pocket for his knife, holding it out. 

She’d gotten too close for you both to just back away, so you stood your ground to fight, willing to do what you needed if it was absolutely necessary. She seemed to be wielding a sort of contraption, strapped to her arm as she charged. It looked like some sort of slingshot, a tiny kunai knife inserted at the center, but you didn’t even have another second to process as she stepped towards you first. You had your knife in hand as well, raising it up in hopes of intimidation. You couldn’t kill her, but she didn’t know that… or maybe she did, because she didn’t stop. 

You were about to turn heel before Rodey stepped in front of you, his knife hitting straight through her chest. He stumbled back a bit, and you came before him to kneel down, checking to make sure the girl was completely dead. The cannon sounded momentarily after, which confirmed it for you, but when you looked down at her wrist contraption, you saw that the kunai knife was gone. 

“Mercy…” His voice was grave, and it scared you before you even turned around. 

“Rodey,” you stood back up, rushing over to him before he could collapse. His hand held his ribs, where the Kunai knife had deeply pierced through, probably into his lung. 

He sunk down against you, his breath hollow as you lowered him to the ground. 

“Lukas!” You screamed over your shoulder towards the cornucopia, hoping he would understand your great need and come quickly. 

“Mercy,” Rodey tried to speak again, a sense of urgency in his eyes. He was dying, he could feel it. “Look at me.”

“Y-you’re fine, Lukas is g-gonna help me carry y-you back, and we’ll fix y-you up.”

“No,” he smiled, he had the audacity to smile. “Just hold me here, keep looking at me.”

His voice wasn’t even solid anymore. 

“Don’t do that, y-you’re fine… Lukas!” You nearly broke your vocal chords trying to get him to hear you. In the distance you could hear him running, but he had been too far away to begin with. Your eyes welled up with tears, and your free hand tried to hold the blood from escaping his body, but the knife had gone too deep, and there was no chance of anything clotting in time. His lungs would fill up with blood in seconds, and he would die choking on it, if the intense bloodloss didn’t kill him first.

“Don’t cry,” he took your hand from his ribs, moving the red stained appendage and placing it on the side of his face instead. “Just keep looking at me.”

“I can’t, I h-have to get you help.”

“No, I don’t want help. I wanna die looking at you,” he admitted, the confession breaking your heart. Another tribute, dead under your hands. Another ally, succumbing to defeat while you stood watch, helpless to even try and save them. He didn’t want to be saved. He wanted this to be it. This was a far better death anyways. He saved you. He took the hit. He didn’t have to outlast you and watch you die, or watch your best friend die and see your pain from it. He gets to go out now, knowing he saved your life and that you had two less people to kill. 

“Why?” You cried out, shaking your head as the tears rolled fresh and freely. You didn’t understand it. You’d come to terms with your death, too… but you couldn’t understand him. He was a career, someone with a chance to win it all. But he sacrificed himself to save you.

“Because you’re pretty,” he said as though it were completely obvious. Everyone had made clear the past week how beautiful you were, but you felt you didn’t deserve the praise, Not because you felt ugly or comparable, but because you never prided yourself on it. You never looked in the mirror and felt superior by it, nor did you think it made you better than anyone else… So then why? Why did they praise your beauty? 

You think you found understanding when you looked down to him again, Lukas’ footsteps closing in behind you. You saw on his face the gratification he got just from looking into your eyes. The way you looked inspired a feeling in him that transformed into more, and you felt it, too. The attraction, the connection, the feelings. You’d drawn him in with your beauty, but he stayed for everything else about you. He could have taken off with Estelle that first day, but he stayed. He could have ditched you both when you decided to take Lyra as an ally, but he didn’t. He should have let you die in his place just now, but he saved you instead. That was the power of your beauty, unharnessed, untamed, and unforgiving. 

Your eyes became blurry with tears, and you could no longer see his face clearly, but the second the cannon sounded, you closed your eyes completely. Lyra may not have been completely your fault, but this certainly was, and his blood was covering your hands. 

“What happened?” Lukas asked, his breath harsh and unsteady as he came over your shoulder to see the scene in front of him. He knelt down, examining Rodey, having fully heard the cannon that already sounded. “Who did this?”

You couldn’t say a word, you just pointed to the girl from three. She laid dead on the ground, Rodey’s knife in her chest, right where her heart stopped beating. 

Lukas tried to pull you away, to try and gather what sense of sanity you had left, but you kept hitting his hands away, screaming and crying at him to let you go. You didn’t care that without the third member of your alliance, you were now more vulnerable. Probably the weakest in combat left in the arena. You kept clinging to Rodey’s body, holding on and unwilling to leave him yet. He’s your ally, and he didn’t ever leave you behind.

“We have to go,” he finally managed to drag you, under your arms, kicking and screaming. The scene that had been caused would alert the other tributes that they only had two more enemies to deal with. 

-

Those watching in the capitol were teary eyed, but not genuinely. To them, it was as though their favorite character just lost her beloved, never to see him again… and it made for great dramatic effect, and they loved it. 

Cashmere, one of the district one mentors, was sitting by herself in a corner, with the only other person who actually cared to be alone while watching these games right now. Finnick watched the scene play out, and it caused him great upset, not just for his tribute, but for the woman beside him. She still had a tribute left, but the care for that one seemed almost secondary. Finnick was almost certain that Rodey had been her prized tribute. The one she would have wanted to win above anything else. 

-

tags(open): @thepassionatereader @i-voluntears @secretsicanthideanymore @mystargirl-interlude @c4ttheart @lilibrn

[consultingcompanion94]

Once Upon an Eternity

Chapter Two

Summary:

Something happened since Aziraphale left. Will Heavenly or Hellish power be enough to fill the missing pieces, or will Crowley have to look elsewhere?

Under any other circumstances, Crowley would have scoffed at the ridiculous notion of the scene before him- the back room of Nina’s coffee shop functioning as a makeshift war council room in the loosest form of the term. 

Scoffing was very much abandoned in the wake of the tension filling the room.

It became clear there was one common thread among the Demon, Scrivener, and two shop owners present- their collective gaps in awareness of recent events proved they were, indeed, missing something that could not be explained away as easily as it could if those gaps had only affected one of them. 

Knowing they were in the same predicament should have been reassuring…

“You’re seriously telling me you have no way back into Heaven?” Crowley growled angrily at the smaller Angel, ignoring the voice in his head that sounded annoyingly like Aziraphale berating him for being overly harsh. 

Nina and Maggie had spent the day doing their best to keep up pretenses running the coffee shop while Muriel had been attempting to gather information. Crowley had been holed up in Nina’s back room, doing his best not to let the tension fizzling in his veins escalate into a lightning strike (he was certain Nina would hold any damage that would cause over his head forever.)

“I’m sure,” Muriel murmured, shifting uncomfortably at Crowley’s grilling. “I have no idea if I made any attempt to enter Heaven during the time we can’t account for, but I certainly didn’t report Upstairs in the weeks following my acquiring the bookshop. I tried all morning and afternoon to gain access to Heaven- no luck. Not even a hint anyone had received or even noticed my attempts to request entrance.”

Crowley wanted to snap that Muriel had acquired nothing. The bookshop belonged to one Angel and one Angel only, but he bit his tongue just short of drawing blood and growled softly, raking his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“I take it that’s unusual is it?” Maggie asked tentatively, earning a harsh bark of laughter from Crowley.

“You could say that. Apparently his Supremeness either found out about me sneaking in and doesn’t want a repeat, or he really wants to make sure I can’t gain access regardless of if he knows about last time,” Crowley replied.

Drumming her fingers against her knee, Nina shook her head, unsatisfied by that explanation. “I don’t know mate. Seems too big a jump to go from the Mr. Fell who left to now having him seal off… well, you know...” she trailed off, still having trouble wrapping her head around the world of the occult and ethereal she’d been plunged into.

“I agree. There’s got to be a larger trigger here. Something specific had to have set him off,” Maggie nodded.

After a moment, Muriel chimed in, “I supposed if you put it that way, isn’t it obvious?” When the looks directed back at them made it clear that it was indeed, not obvious, they continued a little more forcefully, “You must have snuck back into Heaven again Mr.- I mean, Crowley. Think about it! The Supreme Archangel finding out you snuck in last time wouldn’t give him enough reason to lock Heaven now. Something had to have happened to make him feel a security breach was a more active threat, and how many other Demons can you think of that would voluntarily go anywhere near Heaven?”

Crowley had to admit, what Muriel said wasn’t wrong. Of all the tactics Hell had ever used, they had always stopped short of attempting any actual infiltration of Heaven, all efforts focused solely on Earth. Crowley may consider Hell beyond incompetent, but not even the stupidest Demon would be willing to risk almost certain discorporation by going Upstairs uninvited.

Until Crowley had seen Aziraphale in danger and was just desperate enough to risk it.

“Hell of a lot of good that does us,” Crowley grumbled irritably. “Even if past me was stupid enough to go back again, that still gives us no answers to why I would think that would be anything other than a massive waste of time.”

“You and he did plenty of messing with minds at the ball,” Nina countered, “Why don’t you just… snap your fingers, wave your hand, whatever it even is you do and reverse whatever was done to us?”

“Miracles don’t work that way,” Muriel replied simply. “They can be tricky at the best of times, even for those most experienced in them.”

“And even the best miracles have their limits,” Crowley added with a sigh.“ Things would certainly be different otherwise. Wouldn't be much of a way to keep Heaven and Hell in line if all Miracles could be undone just like that. No consequences for going against orders if you can simply miracle them away. No way to actually fight the opposition if you can shut down each other's every move just like that.”

Probably worked in our favor with Jim, Crowley thought. It would have made for a very different argument if restoring “Jim’s” memories had been possible and Aziraphale had been attempting to convince Crowley to help in that way, rather than by simply hiding him. Very unlikely he’d have been willing to risk actively restoring the being who had tried to burn hi-the Angel.

“Bottom line,” Crowley continued, shaking himself out of his reverie, “We’re not likely to get anywhere unless we figure out what we’re missing that Az-the Supreme Archangel is working so hard to keep us from knowing.”

“With Heavenly and Hellish power off the table, where does that leave us?” Muriel asked, nervously fiddling with the throw pillow they’d grasped in their lap.

“Really hoping you’re not about to say there’s some other third entity we haven’t heard about yet,” Maggie chuckled nervously, causing Crowley to sit up straighter.

“Not unless you count humans as a third entity… weeell, technically human… he might not have accounted for that, could be worth a go…” He muttered, the others watching his mind whirring before Nina finally huffed in irritation, “Mind sharing with the rest of the class?”

Ignoring her questions with a dismissive wave, Crowley pulled out his phone, snapping his fingers to miracle the phone to pull up the number he needed, only waiting a few moments before responding with an almost imperceptible sigh of relief, “Hello? Book girl? What do you mean you… You seriously knew I was going to… Rolling his eyes, Crowley cut off, “Of course you did. I’ll save my breath then. How long till you can be here?” Nodding, Crowley merely gave a few more affirmative grunts and hums before ending the call.

“And that call was…” Maggie trailed off, Crowley finally turning his attention back to the room with a mischievous curl of his lips.

“Another power source to try using in getting our memories back, one that if we’re lucky a certain Supreme Archangel won’t have accounted for,” Crowley grinned. “Courtesy of a certain descendant of a certain witch.”

Previous Chapter

[pastlivesandpurplepuppets]

We stopped for a night or two near a town called Buckloe. The Alps were real close, and those tall, snowy mountains looked fine. Some of our fellas went out on patrol, but they returned in a big hurry. Seemed they’d found something that didn’t look like nothing a man had ever seen before. I guess Major Winters and some battalion staff went back to look at what they’d found, then they called us to go in. All I saw were prisoners hanging on a fence. The fellas in other platoons went inside, but our platoon didn’t go in, at least the squad I was in. That was fine by me. Those prisoners hanging on a fence were like no prisoners I’d ever seen before. Just skeletons in striped pajamas. Their arms were the size around of my rifle barrel. Me and the fellas I was with were ordered to keep going, so we went through and set up an outpost on the outskirts of the area. Other soldiers helped out inside the camp. When the men came back from that duty, few of them talked much about what they saw. It was too hard for them to put into words, I guessed. General Taylor declared martial law all through the area, and he ordered the German people from the nearby towns to go into the camp and clean it up. So the next day we saw German civilians headed down the road with shovels and rakes, going to clean up the bodies in that concentration camp. I didn’t know what to rightly think of those two days. From what some of the other men told me, I was relieved I didn’t see what they saw. But then again, these horrible things happened, you know, and it benefits a young man to know what the world is actually like—both its good and bad sides. We got word around on April 30 that Hitler committed suicide. He wolfed down some cyanide and shot himself in the head. So I guessed that one evil man who’d caused so much aggravation for so many people all over the world finally got what was coming to him.

~ Shifty Powers

[pigeontheoneandonly]

All of your WIPs sound so interesting, but I think I'm most intrigued by Shallow Graves. Anything you'd like to share about it?

Oooo thank you! This is probably my favorite project lol

Shallow Graves is my "Pathfinder Fan Novel" featuring original characters in the Pathfinder TTRPG Golarion setting. (Though I've been flirting more and more with the idea of turning it into an original novel in the second draft...)

Shallow Graves is about a group of very old friends who completely fell apart when a member of the group was murdered ten years prior to the events of the story, on a zany adventure to settle old business, find closure, and try to move on.

It actually started out as a thought experiment on my part, wondering if I could write a revenge story and a fridge story that turned both those archetypes on their heads. So far I'm pretty pleased with the result.

Anyway, as the story progresses, they unearth a lot of rotting baggage. The below excerpt is a piece of that.

* * *

Gem scampered ahead of him and turned around, forcing him to address her.  “You’ve always treated that bow like a grudge but it’s clear someone taught you to use it well.  Since you seem determined to be relentlessly honest—let’s have it at last, shall we?”

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Not a chance.”  She poked him. 

He rolled his eyes.  “I was a terrible druid.  Druid initiate.  Whatever.  That’s really all there is to it.”

“That explains nothing.”

He made an exasperated noise.  “Look, it was the only thing I was any good at, ok?  My uncle made a bow for me.  My mother thought it was a distraction, tempting me away from her incessant curriculum of forcing me—”  Kel raked his fingers backwards through his hair.  “It doesn’t matter.”

“If it didn’t matter, you’d be able to tell me what happened.”  Her amusement had faded entirely, which was a bad sign.  When she got concerned her curiosity hardened into steel point.

Probably best just to spit it out and move on.  “One day, she got so frustrated she stole it and turned it back into a living branch.  Leaves, flowers, green wood, bark, all of it.  Impossible to use as a bow.  Then she told she wasn’t fixing it, and if I ever wanted to use it again, I’d have to figure out how to do it myself.”

“What a bitch.  What did she make you do to relent?”

“It’s never been clearer you’ve never met her.  She’d never go back on a threat.” 

“So you never did get it back.” “No, I figured it out.”

Gem blinked.  “What?  Kel, on a good day, if you sit very, very still, you can conjure half a spark.”

“It took me six months of spending nearly every waking hour trying.  I’m certain I couldn’t do it again if my life depended on it.”  It had been the strangest feeling.  All of sudden, he could see the branch as an imprint on the universe, something outside of time, existing in all stages of its life, and it had seemed so damn simple to shift it into the one he wanted.  Just for a single, hallucinatory second.  And then it was only a piece of wood again, lifeless and still.  “My mother was…”

“Happy, I imagine.”

“Happy.”  He laughed.  It wasn’t funny.  “She was overjoyed.  She’d never praised me like that… I spent half my life trying to please that woman, and for the first time…”

There wasn’t a but at the end of her sentence, no forced acknowledgements or despair-tinged false encouragements.  No biting criticism.  No complaints of his laziness or contrariness.  Just shear, unadulterated, lavish pride.  And he hated himself for how he’d basked in it.  Exhausted, yes, but that only led an extra edge of exhilaration for finally having the unconditional approval of his mother. 

She’d even hugged him to her, arm around his shoulders, squealing quietly over the quality of the work, the completeness of the transformation, how she always knew he could do it. 

His mother went as far as telling him it was the happiest day of her life, and for just a second, it had been his, too.

Gem interrupted his thoughts, hesitantly.  “Nobody avoids a happy memory.  What happened?”

He cleared his throat.  “She told me it was the happiest moment of her life.  Then she broke it over the back of a chair.”

“What?!”  That explosion of shock, from Gem of all people, underlined in red why he never told people stories about his mother.  “I don’t—it was what she asked?  I don’t understand.  She wanted to punish you further?  For—for liking something?”

“No, you don’t understand,” he replied, wearily.  “It wasn’t a punishment.”

It hadn’t felt real. He stared at the jagged ends of the once-proud recurve, as if expecting them to come back together, like it was some sick fever dream brought on by too much kindness. 

“How—”

“It wasn’t a punishment,” Kel repeated, louder, overruling her questions.  “Like you said, she was happy.  I didn’t need it anymore, she told me.  It was a great day.  Now I could truly be her apprentice, I’d have druid magic, and wouldn’t require a silly toy to protect myself.  I’d graduated.  And she was so proud of me, she wanted us to celebrate and she was in the middle of planning some kind of dinner when I walked out.”

He hadn’t said a word.  In truth, his mind had gone entirely empty with some feeling that to this day he couldn’t name.  A cousin to resignation, but the kind that only came after a long and bloody struggle.  The kind born of knowing, once and for all, that you’d never been more than a thing to anyone.  Just an empty vessel.  And if they had to tip it over onto the floor to get it that way, so they could fill it up with what they preferred, well, that was a small price apparently.

It hadn’t worn off until he was five days gone.  And then he’d had a breakdown unrivaled even by more recent events.  Sixty years old.  Just a gangly kid.

Gem sat back with a sigh of sudden understanding.  “That’s why you left.”

“That’s why I left,” he affirmed, dully.  Then he stepped around her and resumed walking.  “We should keep moving.”

[currentlyfckingurmom]

Her Song part 8

"Don't be, Momma. I was just about to tell Scarlett and Florence how you're a stripper!" Oh god.

Scarlett and Florence abruptly look at me wide-eyed, and I laugh nervously. "I'm not- she doesn't even know what a stripper is."

"Yes I do. A stripper is a person who acts or dances in a seductive manner and gradually removes their clothing piece by piece, especially to the accompaniment of music. I looked it up," Syd states with a shrug.

"Oh god," I mumble to myself. "I'm not a stripper. I just, um..." I look to Ash for help, but she looks like she's about to piss herself laughing.

"Syd just means that...yeah, I got nothing. Sorry boss," Ash fails to give an excuse.

Sighing, I say "I was a stripper. I am not anymore." They nod, and Florence briefly rakes her eyes down my body, raising an eyebrow and smirking slightly. What the fuck. "Not that there's any shame in being a stripper," I quickly add. Maybe a little too quickly.

It gets uncomfortably quiet very fast, but luckily Ash 'saves' it. "Yeah, it just means that Y/N is very good with a pole. And lap dances." I slap my hand against my face and pray for someone to please make it stop. "Actually, I'm sure she'd be willing to show you guys," Ash adds.

"No, no I wouldn't. I mean I wouldn't be opposed to it, but I- no I'm not going to show you," I ramble, making it so much worse.

"What a shame, I'm sure Flo would love a demonstration," Scarlett says, smirking.

Florence blushes vibrantly and stumbles over her words, quickly averting her eyes from mine.

"Momma, are you sure they aren't your girlfriends?"

"Sydney, I swear to god I am going to sell you if you don't stop," I warn her, feeling like I am going to cry from embarrassment.

"Aw, don't sell her. She brings in nice tips," Ash says.

"Yeah, Mom. I bring in nice tips," the demon child sasses, blowing a raspberry at me.

"As...interesting as this has been, we should really get going," Scarlett says, trying not to laugh.

"Yes, but I'll see you tomorrow," Florence adds, looking directly at me. I smile lightly and nod, waving goodbye as they get up and leave.

Once they're gone, I groan loudly and drop my head against the counter. Syd scooches across the counter and lays her head on top of mine, mumbling "Sorry, Momma. Didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't upset me, baby. I'm just...some parts of my past are better kept private, okay?"

"Okay."

"That was funny as shit though," Ash snorts, bursting out in laughter.

"Ash said shit!" Syd yells.

"So did you!" I yell back.

Chaos. My life is chaos.

Later that night, around eight o'clock, Ash is long gone and Syd is asleep in front of the TV while I clean up. I don't expect to get anymore customers tonight, but the bell above the door rings. I look up, and Florence is walking in, briefly looking over to Syd before shooting me a crooked smile and asking "Can we talk?"

"Yeah, of course," I say with furrowed eyebrows, motioning for her to sit next to me at the counter. She sits down and I ask "What's up?"

"Um, I just wanna apologize for earlier. I know that it was none of our business, and you probably didn't want us to know all that-"

"Flo," I cut her off, laughing. "It doesn't bother me, really. Sometimes kids just talk a lot. It's no big deal. I mean, my past employment is not exactly something I advertise, but I'm not really ashamed of it, either. I did what I had to do to support my kid. And it got me here, so..."

"Do you mind me asking why, uh, why you-"

"Why I danced for horny men?" I finish for her. "Syd is...I love her with all my heart and she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, but I didn't- I didn't exactly conceive her willingly. Then I was on my own at sixteen years old, so I moved here and worked at a small diner until she was about two months old. I just didn't have enough money, so I walked into a club and they hired me at seventeen. I did dance most of my childhood, so I guess it was just a good fit. I got better at it, and two years later I had enough money to quit and open this place up," I explain, gesturing to the shop around us.

"That's..." Florence swallows thickly and looks down at the counter. "I'm really sorry you had to deal with all that on your own."

"I'm not," I say with a smile, looking over at Syd. "I do the best I can, and I may not be the best mother, but I've done everything I can for that girl. I just want her to be happy, and I've gotten us to a good place."

"That's amazing, Y/N. Truly." I smile and blink away the tears that had misted over my eyes, holding eye contact with Florence. She looks down at my lips, her breath catching in her throat before she turns away from me.

"So you've made up with your dad since then?" she asks. I send her a questioning look and she says, "You were talking to him on the phone earlier."

"Oh...yeah, I guess," I answer shortly. As much as I like Florence, I don't know her well enough to get into all of that.

"Right, well, I should head home. It's getting late."

"Hey, wait, are you walking home?" I ask.

"Yes, why?"

"Let me give you a ride. It's not safe to walk alone at night."

"I can just call an Uber."

"Don't be ridiculous. We won't get any more customers tonight, anyway," I state, standing up to get Syd. She's sound asleep, and her face is scrunched up the way it does when she has a headache, so I just pick her up instead of waking her.

I carry her to the doors and gesture with my head for Florence to follow, turning out the lights and locking the doors. "It's the blue Subaru," I tell Florence, pointing to the 2018 WRX parked on the street. I buckle Syd up and hop in the front. Florence gives me directions as I drive, and we quickly arrive at her apartment complex.

"Thank you for driving me, Y/N. You're very sweet."

"Anytime, Florence."

She leans over, kissing my cheek before getting out of the car and walking inside the building. I can feel myself blushing and internally scold myself. Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend. She. Has. A. Boyfriend.

"Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls comes on the radio and I scoff, glaring at the stereo system. "Don't mock me."

~

"And I'd give up forever to touch you 'cause I know that you'd feel me somehow. You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't wanna go home right now."

[summersnow82]

The Scent of Roses - Part 8

Fanfiction_X-Men

Fictober 2023_Prompt 31: “It’s not your fault.”

Author's note: A kind anon let me know my posts weren't showing up in the tags recently. Here's hoping that'll change. Thanks for sticking with me.

.....

Sabrina had been right: her class was not ready to discuss And Then There Were None – which was a shame because it’s a phenomenal read. Instead they had questions, concerns, fears to address, and a nasty rumor about Rogue Sabrina intended to nip in the bud immediately.

“Quiet down, quiet down!” She called, gaining her students attention. “Now let’s be clear here – there’s enough bickering outside these mansion walls. It will not happen in my classroom, understood?” The students all reluctantly nodded. “And further more,” she looked directly at Rogue who was staring at her desk a bit too intently. “Rogue did nothing wrong. Rogue.” The young woman looked up, surprised she was being called out so directly. “It’s not your fault. I made a choice, and some of my team were unhappy about it.” She turned to look at the other students, taking the time to meet their eyes. “I made the choice. Me. So if you want someone to blame look right here.”

Sabrina sighed, raking a hand through her hair. She hadn’t had time to put it in a French twist or a high ponytail like she preferred. She’d barely had time to grab a suitable outfit, but the blue and white polka dot midi dress with a flared skirt, short white gloves, a pale pink cardigan, and navvy ballet flats would have to do for now. She’d deal with her hair later. She moved to the front of her desk, perching on the edge to survey her class. “We’re going to use this class to talk about your concerns with this cure. Your hopes, your fears, all of it. So,” she stood, flashing them a smile, “let’s move these desks into a circle, shall we?”

….

His political appointment as Secretary of Mutant Affairs left Hank with little free time, and for this reason he’d resigned as a full time teacher at Xavier’s school. Still, when he was home he would often take three or four students under his wing for mentoring and academic expansion. Charles had also given him a small drama class to conduct, which oftentimes paired with Jean’s public speaking class. He’d yet to speak to Charles about his news from the President, and to his credit, the older man had let Hank marinate in his thoughts without prompting. But he’d had his cup of coffee – more than one, actually – and time to mull over a number of rising concerns and issues, and now he needed to find his old friend.

And probably take care of some hygiene issues on the way. He glanced down at his rumpled clothes and grimaced.

Xavier’s school had a number of classrooms, but not all of them were presently being used. Several teachers had resigned or left, which wasn’t uncommon. Hank and Sabrina had both left at one point or another, as had Warren and Kurt. Logan consistently behaved as if the front door were a revolving door. Their staff numbers were currently lower than ever, and many teachers were taking on several classes to make sure the students educational needs were being met. Logan was tackling history and shop class; Jean had genetics and public speaking; Sabrina was teaching English while acting as the guidance counselor; Storm had environmental sciences and art; Scott had mathematics and physical education; and the Professor was teaching ethics and psychology. Each adult was part of a rotation for the Danger Room training for the older students, and they were always paired up differently. Hank would need to check his schedule again and see if he needed to trade shifts.

His thoughts consumed him as he headed towards his room, and he didn’t realize he was passing Sabrina’s classroom until he was walking by the doorway. His eyes tracked the way her hair fell around her shoulders, how her eyes lit up as she spoke to her students, and how her lips always seemed to have a touch of a smile as she engaged with them. “All these feelings and thoughts are completely valid, guys,” she said, looking around the room. “We’re in uncharted waters, but I promise you there’s no one better to navigate this than Professor Xavier and Dr. McCoy. You have the best of the best looking out for you.”

Hank couldn’t help himself. He turned on his heel, propped himself up in the classroom doorway, and crossed his arms across his broad chest. “Do you really think so, Professor Snow?” His deep baritone made everyone look his way, but none looked more startled than Sabrina herself. She hadn’t realized she had an audience for her class. A chorus of cheers went up from the students – Hank was arguably one of the more popular teachers at Xavier’s school – and with his political position he was currently a hot topic on campus. Hank regarded the students warmly before turning his attention back to Sabrina. “I apologize, Professor Snow. I didn’t mean to crash your class.” He held her gaze as he spoke, watched her take a deep breath before she forced a smile.

“Nonsense. You’re always welcome here.” Her tone told him he was actually not welcome at all, and a few of the students exchanged glances.

“Professor Snow, can Dr. McCoy join our conversation, too?” Kitty Pryde asked, glancing between the two of them. The younger woman was notably observant and direct.

Sabrina faltered for a moment, but then her mouth quirked up in a small smile. “Of course, Kitty. But I’m sure Dr. McCoy has many pressing items on his schedule. He probably doesn’t have the time.” She shot him a look that expressly told him to take the out she was offering. Instead, he all but smirked, pushing away from the door jamb and striding into the classroom like the cat who ate the canary. With amazing ease and grace he leapt in the air, somersaulted over the students heads, and came to stand next to Sabrina who was perched on her own desk.

“I’m never too busy for you,” he said to the class, but his eyes were on Sabrina’s. There wasn’t much she could do in front of the students without causing a scene; Hank knew it, she knew it, and he intended to take full advantage. “Now,” he said, projecting his voice and turning to face the kids. “What would you like to know?”

A number of hands shot up, and Hank chuckled. “What about you, Bobby?”

The younger man lowered his hand almost reluctantly, then said, “Are you going to get the cure, sir?”

Hank should’ve expected it, but he’d been too busy showboating and teasing Sabrina to consider the ramifications of this very serious topic. He probably looked as stunned as he felt, and for just a ghost of a moment Sabrina placed her gloved hand on his arm. “Bobby, that’s a very personal question,” she said gently.

“Yeah, but it kind of matters, right?” Kitty said. “I mean, if the teachers we’re learning from are considering getting it then maybe there’s some merit to it.”

Hank drew his mouth in a tight, firm line, and glanced over at Sabrina. “That’s a very good point, Kitty,” he said, rubbing his jaw. “If I’m being honest, I’ve thought of it, yes. I suppose every mutant with a visible mutation has considered it. It can be difficult when you can’t pass for a human. However,” he raised a finger. “There is still much we do not know about this so called cure. Will it last? Are there side effects? What else might it do to us?” He stepped away from the desk into the center of the desk-formed circle. “This cure has been released without – to our knowledge – long term testing, and perhaps questionable methods. I have been tasked with answering these questions, and more, and I will be leaving in a few days time to do just that.” He turned back to Sabrina, all seriousness and sincerity now. “I was hoping you might accompany me, Miss Snow. A talent like yours could prove invaluable to our team, and you have the credentials to back you up.” Sabrina’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open for a moment before she clamped it shut. He gave her a small, genuine smile. “Something to consider, of course.”

More hands shot up in the air. Hank took his time answering a number of them, some technical, some incredibly simple, but all important to the students before him.

“What if they come for us here?” A young girl by the name of Jenna asked. Jenna was relatively new to the school, and still finding her voice, figuratively and literally.

The room got very quiet, and Hank rose to his full height. “Then I assure you, dear girl, that would be a most grave error on their part.”

“Professor Snow?” Rogue had been quiet for most of the class, but now she raised her eyes and looked Sabrina in the eye. “Are you going to get the cure?”

Hank turned to see Sabrina take a deep breath, let it loose, and hop down from her perch. She moved around the desk to the black board and began writing. “Anthony Smalls. Three years old. Taken from his home for a million dollar ransom.” Her hand moved quickly as she spoke, the clack-clack of the chalk the only sound other than her voice. “Violet Henries. Six years old. Taken from her school to sway a jury. Jonathan Edwards. Three months old. Taken by a jealous ex-wife. Julietta Gonzalez. Twelve years old. Taken for trafficking. Robert Sweat. Thirteen years old. Also taken for trafficking.” She continued on with a list of names and ages accompanying them with a reason for the kidnapping. The class was quiet as she worked, and Hank watched her as a new level of comprehension descended upon him.

Sabrina didn’t stop talking until the chalkboard – at least what she could reach of it – was filled with names. She turned back to the class. “These aren’t even half of the children I’ve been able to return to their homes and families alive because of my abilities. Another dozen were found postmortem, and the ability to bring their loved ones home offered the families a sense of closure.” She put the chalk down, dusted off her hands, and walked around her desk. She removed her gloves as she did so, securing them in her dress pockets. “I cannot touch anything or anyone,” her finger trailed over a desk causing her eyes to faintly glow. “Without taking something away. Memories, thoughts, emotions. In some cases, even talents and abilities. This makes relationships difficult.” She brushed by Hank as she spoke, and he tracked her path with curious eyes. “I walk into a room and I immediately can sense the atmosphere. This makes crowds difficult. I can’t go to concerts or movies on opening night or many special events. But I can assess danger quickly, read a person’s intentions, and bring children home to their families. Our lives as mutants are not easy ones; I know Professor Xavier has drilled this into you in his Ethics class. Oftentimes what we think is a curse is actually a gift. Maybe not for us, but for someone else.” She pointed at the chalkboard. “If I can do that, what can you do?” She turned to Rogue. “I won’t be getting the cure, no matter how much I might be tempted. Someone has to keep the real monsters at bay.”

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Ok merging responses again but tiktok is fr diabolical for that…on that note i went to go check my settings too and mine were already off (I think past me had good foresight jk I think I actually just turned it off out of habit without reading in depth) I wonder if u get the notifications when the person u send it to doesn’t have theirs toggled off? On that topic I was fr just wondering if it goes both ways in the sense of like if it would prevent tiktok from suggesting your account to me since I have mine off as opposed to just not exposing my acc but anyways!! Was just gonna say hopefully you didn’t find out from getting a notif from some very random person or something shsgshsh seems like you’re safe tho!!! On that note if you ever see anything funky happening in your TikTok notifs lmk….ill look out in case it ever starts suggesting yours but now that the switch is on I’d assume nothing would happen (at least it better not tiktok pls)

LMAOOOO dw I have faith in our man he would never actually homewreck the premise is just so hilarious to me but PAUSEE stop I love miraverse tabiori and now we have aiko (?????) what do you even call them their names are too short i also don’t wanna make this look like they’re getting shipped LMFAOOO

HAHAHA classic reo activities…just grabbing out old reliable (checkbook) I almost forgot that readers parent wanted her to marry him maybe it’s fr time to reread

LMAOO yup you’re alter ego is safe o7 but yeah I guess you’ll know our convo is getting stalked/read if you ever get a notif for any of the ones from our convo LOL although again I’m assuming the toggle button actually does its job so that shouldn’t be the case anymore

PLEASE DONATE SHINAH EDITS HERE!!! I will gladly take them omg that hakyona edit is probably the first yotd tiktok I’ve ever seen

So real honestly sometimes we all need a day to just do nothing LOL I’m sure whatever’s next will be fire as per usual

BAROU CLEANING SERVICE pause imagine they actually make that Barou maid cafe and unironically put all the muscliest/aggressive characters in to follow their gimmick (like when Barou squeezes ketchup on their heads) imagine this is all another side gig competition so whoever rakes in the most money gets like a day off or like bonus field time and then they all start doing even more insane shit to get more money and views but I’m crying Rin posting a drama video like “the dark truth about itoshi sae” and then the first thing he says is “he’s a shitty brother”

At first I thought they just left zantetsu auraless and I was like damn ok…chigiri pop off with the leopard/cheetah ig then I reread it and looked and finally saw the fuckass train just thinking about it makes me crack up

OH YEAH the foreshadowing about chigiri has me sweating like ummm hahahaha wdym???????? Wdym break??? Stfu??? Yeah dw I also dgaf abt himizu give the spotlight to your teammates please!!!

- Karasu anon

ooh yeah maybe it has to be a mutual thing?? but that’s actually kind of a relief because it means i would’ve gotten a notification every time someone viewed the videos i sent…at least we can hope so 😭 but yesss the switch is on now so i think we are in the clear!!

NO BECAUSE I HAVE IT SO CLEAR IN MY HEAD like at one point reader and karasu are going to be watching a movie together and she’s like on the couch w him and she’s sleepy so he’s letting her use him as a pillow and she’s like “i wish my boyfriend was like you” and karasu’s like “right then enough is enough” and drives over to aiku’s ASAP LMAOAAOAO i’m crying truly every single oaeu story is HILARIOUS (except sae’s bruh i’m still trying to cook w that one) like i also have this clear vision of aiku being like “yo reo you’re so lucky to be marrying y/n” and reo’s like “oh i don’t rlly love her or anything but ya she’s cool ig” and aiku’s like “oh fr??? 👀 she’s hot asf can i get her number…since you’re cheating on her she should be allowed to do the same #women’srightsandwrongs” so obviously reo is like “erm and who am i cheating on her with??” and aiku is just like “nagi 👍” HAHAHA omg i just need to figure out how to add that oaeu flair to the sae version and then it’s full steam ahead because literally every other version is cooked and ready but the miraverse followers chose sae to be posted first and since i lowkey might push requests even further back to work on oaeu i should at least oblige them w that 😭

reo fr is like money never fails 🥱 except it does and reader only becomes friends with him at a party he hosts when she realizes he’s sitting alone in his room because nobody like him for who he actually is…she’s like oh damn wait maybe you’re not that bad…i GUESS we can be friends 😒🙄 and the rest is history and she becomes the most hated girl in the school since everyone assumes her and reo are a fr thing even though they aren’t

HAHA irl mira remains an enigma for now 🙂‍↕️🤫 hopefully the button does its thing and tik tok ceases to try and expose me JFJDKDJS anyways i’ll spam shinah edits below and we’ll see if anything crazy happens 😶‍🌫️

edit 1 edit 2 edit 3 edit 4 edit 5 edit 6 edit 7 edit 8 edit 9 random inumaki edit i happened to see while scrolling through my favorited posts

okay most of those are shinah a couple are hakyona and one is obviously an inumaki one that you’ve probably already seen considering how many views it has but it was too good not to include!! also fair warning most of the shinah edits use the same three scenes there’s truly not enough content of him out there 😭

LMAOOO POST WC KUNIGAMI + BAROU + RAICHI JUST WORKING AS MAIDS AT THE CAFE meanwhile nagi and isagi are like the managers of the place omg it would be a train wreck but sooo funny 😩 and lmao LITERALLY rin makes hiori filming him doing an exposé abt sae and sae is just brutally cancelled and hounded on twitter before everyone stops caring 😭 or alternatively on-field isagi will rub off on rin and rin will say smth digital-footprint-damaging and everyone’s like…hold on itoshi?? like sae itoshi?? and sae just gets cancelled by proxy 😰

THE TRAIN IS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY especially given his teammates…like we’ve got barou’s lion aura…chigiri’s panther aura…nagi’s GOD OF DEATH aura…and zantetsu is. uh. he’s a train. HAHAHAH anyways i’m not too stressed abt chigiri in the present match since we know he continues forward in bllk after it but i’m worried it’s foreshadowing smth happening to him soon in the main series 😓 i’m wondering if he’s going to go out in a blaze of glory during a world cup match where he scores the winning goal but loses his leg in the process 😢 pls i’ll cry but realistically it’s going to happen because no way they would throw that in there and NOT use the plot point but also chigiri has been so so successful in the series that it’s definitely setting him up to hit a massive peak and then lose it all immediately