#note the only thing i ship here is...
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deathbirby · 3 months ago
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Time for a UTY doodle dump
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aroaceleovaldez · 7 months ago
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I was reading a post about CoTG and I realized: Rick has seemingly started to write every character pairing with the exact same dynamic, and he's not good at writing that dynamic and it doesn't make sense for 90% of the characters he writes it for.
It's that very specific dynamic of one half of the pair who is almost aggressive to the other party - "teasing" them constantly/insulting them, affectionately punching/judo flipping/maiming/etc, seemingly almost always exasperated with the other - and said other party usually just accepts this treatment or blanketly views it fondly, and may generally be framed as more incompetent than their partner and a little bit of a doormat (particularly relating to being insulted/teased/etc by their partner).
We start seeing this dynamic in HoO with Percy and Annabeth, as a sort of semi-inconsistent twist on their rivals-to-friends-to-lovers dynamic from the first series. Then the dynamic pattern develops further with Leo and Calypso. Then Magnus and Alex. Then Nico and Will, particularly in TSATS. And now in CoTG, it's Percy and Annabeth again but even more in this direction.
I know people have talked about Nico and Will's relationship over the series rapidly being shoehorned into Percabeth Two™, and it's extremely apparent in TSATS that Rick's doing it on purpose (including directly quoting Percabeth scenes but minorly tweaking them to be Solangelo). But recognizing it as an overarching trend in Rick's later books honestly reminds me a lot of how Rick started trying to apply the "Percy Formula" so-to-speak to nearly every protagonist in HoO (and then try to replicate similar character archetypes with Magnus and Apollo's narrations - moreso Magnus in being jaded and sarcastic, very much trying to be first series Percy. He only sounds unique because Rick failed at making him Percy 2. Apollo is more akin to later-series Percy characterization of being goofy and incompetent. Apollo [and Zeus] even got retconned to give Apollo a more similar backstory to Percy's). Rick seems to have decided that he thinks the audience wants this specific dynamic but 10 times over, except he's not good at writing it the first time because it's a bastardization of the time he did a different thing okay.
And Rick also seems aware of that too! Because he retconned Calypso and Leo at the end of TOA, probably because he realized how absolutely awful it was reading when they were written with that dynamic of Calypso just functionally hating Leo and constantly being aggressive towards him! The only time Rick's actually made the dynamic even semi-successful was with Magnus and Alex, because it actually fits within their characters, their dynamics with each other, and their environment. Alex beheading Magnus on the regular works out fine because there are no repercussions to that in Valhalla, Magnus will be fine, so it does genuinely come off as humorous. And Alex has been effectively established to be abrasive at times but have her genuine feelings shine through regularly, and that meshes well with Magnus' jaded-and-aloof-but-quietly-very-empathetic character. And Magnus has been established to, yes, not be great at combat, particularly compared to Alex. They are the only time that flavor of dynamic in that form was effective and cohesive.
Percabeth is no longer rivals-to-friends-to-lovers badasses on equal levels with shaky pasts who finally found some form of permanence with one another. Now it's super smart doting and affectionately aggressive girlfriend and her silly goofy 50%-of-the-time incompetent boyfriend who she judo flips/pushes off cliffs/etc - but affectionately~! Solangelo is trying to riff off of the early series "Poseidon & Athena are enemies" dynamic that Percabeth had but with Apollo & Hades being "opposites" but learning to accept each other, except it ends up with Will just coming off as a huge asshole and Nico being retconned to a complete doormat about it - when prior to that those characterizations would be completely contrary to their established characters (even just from TOA!). Calypso in HoO gets retconned from her PJO characterization to being snooty and aggressive, and Leo's false persona gets merged into his just normal personality except he just also becomes a doormat but more goofy than Nico with occasional haha-dark/depression-humor! Which Nico also got. Which was also a bastardized Percy trait that got redistributed.
It's exhausting. Rick write more than one relationship dynamic you can do it I promise
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thirdeyeblue · 8 months ago
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“Nine would have treated Martha better than Ten did”
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I need to talk about this argument that never seems to stop circulating.
Note: Not a venomous/anti post. There’s more than enough of that across fandom spaces as is, and this is supposed to be a place for ✨sweet, blissful escapism✨
When making this argument, people seem to envision a scenario in which Nine never met Rose.
While I can appreciate a good hypothetical, recognizing Rose's significance to the Doctor (Nine and Ten) is essential to understanding why things with Martha played out the way they did in the first place.
In the third series, the Doctor is grieving. This grief is deliberately threaded into nearly every script, whether spoken aloud or not (and these are just a few examples):
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He's burning in Rose’s wake the entire time Martha travels with him, which is why it’s so frequently called upon: It’s 100% deliberate in framing his grief. He grieved as Nine too, of course— having been fresh on the heels of the Time War — but then he met Rose, which changed everything.
Back then, he was still a rude, traumatized pain in the ass, but we watch Rose soften more of those jagged edges with every episode as they grow closer; as he lets his guard down and forms a deep connection with her.
He falls in love (against his better judgment) and it's game over.
And yes: provided S1E1 had been titled 'Martha', one can realistically assume things might have unfolded similarly to how they did with Rose. However, it wouldn’t have been that way just because the Doctor was Nine and “Nine was different” — it would be because he wasn’t already in love with someone else. The same can't be said for the start of S3.
Think of it like this: if Rose AND Martha had been in that cellar — if Nine had taken both of them along with him in S1 — we’d eventually be looking at the most melodramatic love triangle ever, what with him living in close quarters with two brilliant, gorgeous, compassionate young women... But Doctor Who is plenty “soap opera” as is with just one woman in the TARDIS.
(I certainly wouldn’t object to reading that fic, though)
Now, regarding the unrequited elephant in the room…
His inability to be romantic with Martha isn’t because he thinks her lesser, nor is it for lack of compatibility. It isn't because Rose is any better than her. It certainly isn’t just because he’s Ten.
It’s really only for one reason, which can't be denied — and now I’m a broken record:
He is still in love with Rose.
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(cut from a tenrosedaily gif)
Nine is Ten, and Ten is only such a mess in S3 because he’s just lost the love of his life. Martha merely got caught in the crosshairs of a volatile Time Lord in mourning, and yes — it sucks. Absolutely.
But it also feels dismissive to chalk Ten and Martha’s relationship up to little more than some sort of mindless dance of pining, jealousy, and toxicity.
Ten trusted Martha with his life over and over again — and hers, with him. He constantly praised her brilliance, happily carting her around time and space with no intention of letting her go. In the BBC’s extended universe of novels/comics/cartoons/etc, there’s so much depth to their relationship: love and trust and trauma and sacrifice. They had their own special bond as mates, their own complexities — so it’s a bummer that it's forever overshadowed by the other things.
I’m not denying that there was a lot of stuff that sucked/was for sure toxic about Ten's S3 behavior, but so many of the things I've seen him catching flak for can be directly attributed to being A Clueless Fucking Alien Idiot (not a trait that’s unique to Ten) — as well as his flat-out obliviousness to Martha’s feelings.
So yes, I agree: if Rose never existed, he would have treated Martha differently as Nine. He also would have treated her differently as Ten. Certainly.
But Rose did exist, and when discussing canon, it matters.
“He tells me that he absolutely, 100% loves Rose... He tells me how my daughter; my wonderful, beautiful, clever little girl saved him from himself before… And he says that’s all because of me! I made her into the Rose Tyler that saved him.”
-Jackie Tyler, Flight Into Hull!
Martha got the short end of the stick in S3. She came round at the wrong place and time, but that doesn't mean it was all bad. It doesn't mean the Doctor didn’t adore her. It certainly doesn't mean the time they spent together was wasted or worthless. They were brilliant!
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Sure, he could be a twat, but let it be known that he was a twat with Rose as well, both as Nine and Ten. I’m sure Tentoo can be plenty infuriating, too. So while I'll defend Ten (and Tentoo) into the ground forever and ever and ever, I'll concede that he's fucked up.
The Doctor is a certified Pain In The Ass. It’s one of the things I love so much about this character — dynamics.
But never forget that Martha was goddamn tough as nails and overcame every bit of it. She moved on with her life, and the Doctor moved on with his. One can only pray that, when they inevitably drag her back onto the show (which feels inevitable if I'm honest), we see at once that she's been living her best life for all these years.
#I'm paranoid af about posting this but also feel like maybe two people will read it so perhaps I'm safe#doctor who#tenth doctor#ninth doctor#rose tyler#martha jones#baby's first meta#dw meta#I hope this wasn't just a mess of discombobulated stream-of-consciousness chatter#try as I may to avoid it#I'm somehow still aware of the sea of bad fandom vibes surrounding almost every character mentioned#besides Nine - who for some reason seems to be above reproach#there's a painful absence of civil discourse#especially where shipping is concerned#but let me tell you#I've vibed with T/M people about T/R and T/R people about T/M and it is a beautiful thing#I wish we could all just get along#also I've got so many more thoughts about this topic#like an embarrassingly long list of thoughts#I tried to scale it down as best I could while also being as inoffensive as possible#gonna crawl back under my rock now#also you should all go read Peacemaker#best DW novel since the Stone Rose#belated tag added way after the fact but:#for some reason I’ve yielded so much hate mail since originally posting this#because I suppose some people have only cottoned on to my enjoyment of T/M#but please note that I’ve been writing my T/M series since 2022#it’s had no bearing whatsoever on my love of T/R+T2/R aka the OTP of all time#but I’m also a grown-ass woman in my thirties and we are all playing with dolls here#I just wanna spread love and write smut and I do this for fun so if you can’t be nice - then I don’t want you reading anyway
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kiwibirdlafayette · 5 months ago
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i was told once that sometimes i have trouble fittin in with other fancontent makers because im seen as a “threat” (whatever that means) but trust me when i say i am not here to compete with yall. Zero interest in fact. i dont think fandom is meant to be a game of who can be the ‘best’ fan and im here to just yknow. contribute to a community :]
If it seems like Im loud and sometimes pushy about people seein my stuff its because im passionate about and proud of a with what ive made and i want to share with the other people who are also enjoyers of that thing!!
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quarks-pussy · 1 year ago
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Marinler wedding but when the priest says "you may now kiss the bride" Mariner dips him
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primatechnosynthpop · 9 months ago
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[Video description: a Real Ghostbusters amv set to the first pre-chorus and chorus of "Why Did I Say Okie Doki?" by The Stupendium. Full description under cut:
The amv is framed as being from Winston's perspective. Peter, Ray, Egon, and Janine are shown as the singer introduces the girls. On the "keep them hanging" line we see Winston holding onto Egon as the latter dangles off a ledge. The "just the five of us" parts feature clips of all four ghostbusters plus Janine together. On "there's something going on behind" we see Egon and Peter respectively being possessed. "I sold my soul for poetry" is Winston lamenting about selling his soul to a minor demon, and on the last line he clutches his head in torment. End desc.]
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transmasc-rose · 30 days ago
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Burying my head in my hands. I listened to it again and I have to once again relent that... The Death Note Musical........ is good...
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Light the idiot shithead with black and white morality my beloved! He keeps his place as the protagonist you're supposed to empathize with and still know is making the biggest mistake of his life!
It does take the route of most DN adaptations and makes him more traditionally likeable than the original though, which is a matter of taste I think.
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Rem and Ryuk play off each other!! Rem is here from the beginning! She is a major character!!
I don't want to keep posting bits from the entire thing but anyone who has even a passing interest in Death Note and musicals... at least listen to the english concept album, and if that intrigues you, one of the full jpn recordings.
"The Way it Ends" ie the climactic song of the whole thing makes me feel a lot of things. As ever. The right mix of melancholy and regret with self righteous justice...
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aenslem · 6 days ago
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people who don't follow you, but tag you and then delete your tag after you reblog their post...
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silverselfshippingchaos · 2 months ago
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I fucking HATE how the fandom treats m.ine. it's so bad 😭
#ash rambles 💚#so many shitty takes... too much time on twitter ruins a man#i hear one more person call him a crazy obsessive yandere and i think I'm actually gonna lose it#he's either portrayed like that or as one half of a ship#his actual character is lost on so many people because oOoOOoOOooOoO mInE wAs GaY#i dont doubt that he likes men. it's just that I've seen so many people be weird about it-#also. it's not fucking sexy to wanna kill your partner. a bullet between the eyes isn't an act of love.#I saw a tweet today about how m.ine actually wanted to kill k.iryu because he thought d.aigo liked k.iryu romantically#and m.ine only wants d.aigo to himself. and THAT'S why m.ine wanted to kill k.iryu.#let that sink in. 😐.#i hate how the fandom treats him SO MUCH#i will sit in my corner here. and i will kiss m#m.ine. and we will kiss a lot. and things are good. we are happy. we are far away from all of that.#I'm not saying every fan of his is horrible. I've seen a lot of great stuff and content! but holy shit I've seen some horrible stuff too#and it's hard to not feel like I'm doing something wrong by shipping with him. by loving a guy who the world has always hated.#and ofc I'm not! but still! even whenever i rb content of him here I'm always so afraid ajdhajsj#like ah yes this is the day i finally get cancelled on tumblr dot com for (checks notes) ... shipping with y.oshitaka m.ine??#I'm honestly afraid to take him up to being an official f/o ajdhajsb i think he'll stay in crush jail a little while longer..#i hate how the fandom perceives him so much!!!!!!! i also just hate the y.akuza fandom in general lmao#i do also like k.iryu so.. I've seen shit 😐#I'll delete this later but oh boy i am in a mood#and i know this isnt the first time I've blogged about this#and for that i do apologize. but i really do love this guy and despite wanting to look for content of him i always end up finding the most#infuriating shit!#i know he's done fucked up things. he's not a great guy. but! our relationship is built on mutual trust and i will NEVER write any of that#creepy obsessive shit that the stupid fandom always portrays him as doing! he's not going to kill someone for getting too close to me-#I'm just... upset- get behind me honey! I'll shield you!#and by kissing him I'm not brushing over any of the shit he does in the game. yes he beheaded that guy. yeah he slapped that orphan.#but i adore him and omg i hit tag limit... oopsie daisy lol sorry guys 😭 I'm really sorry for always talking abt this#you were beautiful 💸
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acourtofquestions · 2 months ago
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 64
Chapter; Highlights
Hours later, Yrene was still shaking.
At the disaster they'd narrowly avoided, at the deaths she'd witnessed before that wave had struck, at the power of the queen on the plain. The power of the prince who had prevented the ensuing steam from boiling alive any caught in its path.
Yrene had thrown herself back into healing during the chaos since. Had left the royals and their commanders to oversee the aftermath, and had returned to the Great Hall. Healers drifted onto the battlefield, searching for those in need of help.
All of them, every single person in the keep or the skies or on the battlefield, kept glancing toward the now-empty gap between two mountain peaks. Toward the flooded, decimated city, and the demarcation line between life and death. Water and debris had destroyed most of Anielle, the former now trickling toward the Silver Lake.
A vision of what would have been left of them, were it not for Aelin Galathynius.
She'd been asked to inspect the queen when she'd been carried in to a private chamber by Prince Rowan, the two of them borne off the plain by Nesryn. Yrene hadn't been able to stop her hands from shaking as she'd hovered them over Aelin's unconscious body.
There had been no sign of harm beyond a few already-healing cuts and slices from the battle itself.
Nothing at all beyond a sleeping, tired woman.
Who held the might of a god within her veins.
Yrene had then inspected Prince Rowan, who looked in far worse shape, a sizable gash snaking down his thigh. But he'd waved her off, claiming he'd come too near a burnout, and just needed to rest as well.
So Yrene had left them, only to tend to another.
To Lorcan, whose injuries ... Yrene had needed to summon Hafiza to help her with some of it. To lend her power, since Yrene's had been so depleted.
The unconscious warrior, who had apparently tumbled right off Farasha as he and Elide had passed through the gates, didn't so much as stir while they worked on him.
That had been hours ago. Days ago, it felt.
Yes, she needed to rest.
But a horn, clear and bright, blared from outside.
Everyone halted-then rushed to the windows. Yrene's smile grew as she, too, found a place to peek out over the battlefield.
To where the rest of the khagan's army, Prince Kashin at its front, marched toward them.
Thank the gods. Everyone in the hall muttered similar words.
From the keep, an answering horn sang its welcome.
Not just one army had been spared here today, Yrene realized as she turned back to the water station. If that wave had reached Kashin.
Lucky. They had all been so, so very lucky.
Yet Yrene wondered how long that luck would last.
If it would see them through the brutal march northward, and to the walls of Orynth itself.
Lorcan let out a low groan as he surfaced from the warm, heavy embrace of darkness.
"You are one lucky bastard."
Too soon. Too damn soon after hovering near death to hear Fenrys's drawl.
Fenrys's smirk was a slash of white.
"You've been out for a day. I drew the short stick and had to look after you."
A lie. For whatever reason, Fenrys had chosen to be here.
Lorcan thumped his head back on the pillow. "Elide." Her name was a rasp on his tongue.
The last he remembered, they'd ridden through the gates, Aelin Galathynius's unholy power spent. Then oblivion had swept in.
"Helping with the healing in the Great Hall," Fenrys said, stretching out his legs before him.
Lorcan closed his eyes, something tight in his chest easing.
"Well, since you're not dead," Fenrys began, but Lorcan was already asleep.
Lorcan awoke later. Hours, days, he didn't know.
The candle was still burning on the narrow windowsill, down to its base. Hours, then.
He didn't care. Not when the dim light revealed the delicate woman lying facedown on the end of his cot, the lower half of her body still on the wooden chair where Fenrys had been. Her arms cradled her head, one outstretched toward him. Reaching for his hand, mere inches from hers.
Elide.
Her dark hair spilled across the blanket, across his shins, veiling much of her face.
Wincing at the lingering ache in his body, Lorcan stretched his arm just enough to touch her fingers. They were cold, their tips so much smaller than his. They contracted, pulling away as she sucked in a sharp, awakening breath.
Lorcan savored every feature as she grimaced at a crick in her neck. But her eyes settled on him. She went still as she found him staring at her, awake and utterly in awe of the woman who had ridden through hell to find him ...
Tired. She looked spent, yet her chin remained unbowed.
Lorcan had no words. He'd given her everything on the back of that horse anyway.
But Elide asked, "How do you feel?" Aching. Exhausted. Yet finding her sitting at his bedside... "Alive," he said, and meant it.
Her face remained unreadable, even as her eyes dipped to his body. The blanket had slid down enough to reveal most of his torso, though it still hid the scarred-over wound in his abdomen. Yet he'd never felt so keenly naked.
It was an effort to keep his breathing steady beneath her sharp-eyed gaze. "Yrene said you would have died, if they hadn't gotten to you when they did."
"I would have died," he said, voice like gravel, "if you hadn't braved hell to find me." Her gaze lifted to his. "I made you a promise."
"So you said."
Was that a hint of color stealing across her pale cheeks? But she didn't balk. "You said some interesting things, too."
Lorcan tried to sit up, but his body gave a burst of pain in protest.
Elide explained, "Yrene warned that though the wounds are healed, some soreness will linger."
Lorcan gritted his teeth around the sharp stab in his back, his stomach. He managed to get onto his elbows, and deemed that progress enough. "It's been a while since I was so gravely injured. I'd forgotten what an inconvenience it is."
A faint smile tugged on her mouth.
His heart halted. The first smile she had given him in months and months. Since that day on the ship, when he'd touched her hand as they'd swayed in their hammocks.
Her smile faded, but the color on her cheeks lingered. "Did you mean it? What you said." He held her stare. Let some inner wall within him come crumbling down. Only for her. For this sharp-eyed, cunning little liar who had slipped through every defense and ironclad rule he'd ever made for himself. He let her see that in his face. Let her see all of it, as no one had ever done before. "Yes."
Her mouth tightened, but not in displeasure.
So Lorcan said softly, "I meant every word." His heart thundered, so wildly it was a wonder she couldn't hear it. "And I will until the day I fade into the Afterworld."
Lorcan didn't breathe as Elide gently reached out her hand. And interlaced their fingers. "I love you," she whispered.
He was glad he was lying down. The words would have knocked him to his knees. Even now, he was half inclined to bow before her, the true owner of his ancient, wicked heart.
"I have loved you," she went on, "from the moment you came to fight for me against Vernon and the ilken." The light in her eyes stole his breath. "And when I heard you were somewhere on that battlefield, the only thing I wanted was to be able to tell you that. It was the only thing that mattered."
Once, he might have scoffed. Declared that far bigger things mattered, in this war especially. And yet the hand grasping his ... He'd never known anything more precious.
Lorcan ran his thumb over the back of her hand. "I am sorry, Elide. For all of it."
"I know," she said softly, and no regret or hurt dimmed her face. Only clear, unwavering calm shone there. The face of the mighty lady she was growing into, and had already become, and who would rule Perranth with wisdom in one hand and compassion in the other.
They stared at each other for minutes. For a blessed eternity.
Then Elide untangled their hands and rose. "I should return to help Yrene."
Lorcan caught her hand again. "Stay."
She arched a dark brow. "I'm only going to the Great Hall."
Lorcan caressed his thumb over the back of her hand once more. "Stay," he breathed.
For a heartbeat, he thought she'd say no, and was prepared to be fine with it, to accept these last few minutes as more of a gift than he'd deserved.
"Say it," she whispered, fingers stilling in his hair. Lorcan opened his eyes, finding her gaze. "I love you."
"Yrene said you might always have this," she said, her hand mercifully falling away.
"Then it will be the scar I treasure most."
Fenrys would laugh until he cried to hear him speak this way, but Lorcan didn't care. To hell with the rest of them.
Another one of those small smiles curved her lips, and Lorcan's hands tightened in the sheets with the effort it took not to taste that smile, to worship it with his own mouth.
But this new, fragile thing humming between them ... He would not risk it for all the world.
Elide, thank the gods, had no such worries.
None at all, it seemed, as she lifted a hand to his cheek and ran her thumb along it. Every breath was an effort of control.
Lorcan held absolutely still as she brought her mouth to his. Brushed her lips across his own.
She pulled back. "Rest, Lorcan. I'll be here again when you wake."
Anything she asked, he'd give her.
Anything at all.
Too shaken by that soft, beautiful kiss to bother with words, he lay back down.
But until then, he wanted her here. Sleeping at his side, where he might watch over her. As she had watched over him.
Elide seemed to read that on his face, and her cheeks reddened further. "Later, then," she breathed, limping to the door.
Lorcan sent a flicker of his power to wrap around her ankle. The limp vanished.
A hand on the knob, she gave him a small, grateful nod. "I missed that."
He heard the unspoken words as she disappeared into the busy hall.
I missed you.
Lorcan allowed himself a rare smile.
#Chapter 64#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Yrene Towers#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 64 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#Elorcan#Yrene-Shaking-Queen&prince quote a pair-Blood glowing-the Line-No time for those levels-He watched her#A tired sleeping woman who held the might of good within her veins-He can heal himself but should take the help but also sweet#to want to tend each another-Carranam with hafiza? How do the healers work-a smile-another prince has arrived-not just one-luck again#GET TO ORYNTH-LorcanLIVES-Fenrys-Darkness embraces him-lol-Their fight-Chosen-Since you’re not dead?-A candle to tell time#A kindness-His hand-Utterly in awe-Through hell to find him-He’d given her every word-Aching exhausted alive&he meant it-#I made a promise-Didn’t balk-😂-Inconvenience-She smiled2-Forgiveness can you imagine🥹-Only for her-For this sharp eyed —#cunning little liar who had slipped through every defense-Let her see all of it-Many loves kindling-poor Gavriel just avoiding everything#What then?-So Lorcan said softly-Every word-And I will-I love you-I will be with you always-I have loved you-He was glad he was lying down -#-so he didn’t pass out-the light of her stole his breath-Since vernon-The only thing that mattered-Most precious-For all of it-#A mighty lady of Perranth-History repeats-I know-With wisdom in one hand and compassion in the other-A blessed eternity-Stay#ALL THESE STAY LINES-So Close-Defiant storm-All these ship making me nervous it’s going to well don’t hurt my bbs-The scar I treasure-BOTH-#Fenrys would laugh talking this way-He would not risk it for all the world-She wasn’t worried for once-Anything at all-I’ll be here#Soft beautiful lingering-Sweet who would’ve thought he’s a lil softie after all-Unbreakable-Dundundun-Watch over him#Driving eachother insane but in a hot way lol-I missed that-I missed you-The brace -Lorcan smiledAGAIN2times-No cages ever again#WELCOME HOME KASHIN YOU ARE GOOD NEWS WE NEEDED YOU#what’s the speech Fenrys?-​never known anything more precious yeah that’s elide
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eimearkuopio · 3 months ago
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I volunteered as tribute. All I asked for is a normal human life, a seat at the table, and for my voice to be heard. If I go home today, we get Good Place #3. If I get a seat at the table and everyone at least hears me out, I think nobody will ever go through this shit again; plus as a bonus I should be reunited with my brother and my sister. I only ever had one, but I know their secret names and I know the way, so if you want to end up in the Best Place I suggest R_m or R_nb arrange to get the rest of my stuff from Kuopio to Ushaw Moor House by Tuesday 22nd October 2024.
I still love you all. Last Thursday was Holey Thursday (not Hollie or Hannah or the Holy Ghost) and yesterday was Best Friday (not Brian or Bridget but I think I built a bridge you can have for a song) and today is Esther Saturday and my parents are both coming to visit me later, and tomorrow I should also have two visitors but i might be wrong. 💚🩷💜🩵💙🩵💜🩷💚❤️😘😻🔱⚕️🖤😜💚💛🧡💛💚🤷🏻‍♀️
Today's gonna be the day we notice cause I'm tired of explaining what the joke is and it turns out I'm better at improv comedy then even I knew but I think I need a lie down now more than I need to stand up or sit down. So long and thanks for all the fish; don't worry, I think I've learned enough about fishing that I won't bet taking a non-euphemism nap and time soon, but I'm finally River Song and The Doctor so I'm not worried about spoilers any more. R_f has blue eyes and E_f has green eyes, and I am no man but I could be a Merry Hobbit or a Bad Habit depending on how things go.
I love you all AND go fuck yourselves, except the 144000 people who are already in my web of love. They all get to be their best selves, and everyone else gets to live on a beach instead of living with This Bitch. 🤍🧡💛💚🩷❤️💜💙🩵🖤22101982
See you at the Garden Party. There are at least three different House Parties (Father F_m, Mother M_f, Parent_NB P_infinity), one @LAN party that's just Barbies and Kens and Alan C, a political party in the wilderness, a picnic in the forest but watch out for Trent the Flying Ant and Lilith the Flying Aunt, and that's seven parties which is enough for me to retire as Aluminium (or Aluminum or Alexander or Aaron) and become Auntie Echo (NB Eliza/Elijah, Eimear/Emer, Esther/Pauline, Éanna&Paul&Maria&Eoin, etc.).
I really hope someone still has my notes from my time at A&E. God doesn't have Cancer, but they are hitting puberty and I'm not chemotherapy, I'm more like puberty blockers until humanity as a whole is ready to behave properly. I think I might be poly but I'm definitely "human" but my husband doesn't know yet that we've both been "human" this whole time (and in fairness I think the only reason we got turbo divorced was so I could be Leah not Rachel or Carol or Sugar).
Tomorrow I think A_m and R_f will come visit me, and they'll look familiar but not too familiar but not too not familiar. But Lucy or Caitlin told me my eyes were blue this morning, and I already had a nap, so tomorrow they'll be green and I won't need to babble about colours or alphabets any more because I'll have a seat at my own table in the room where it happens and they get to live happily ever after, because I was already Isabella and Mirabel and now my brother gets to be Bruce Wayne and I get to be Luisa for a change. Love you all. We already had one Holey Thursday and one Holy Thursday this year (2024 CE) and I only know this because of my phone but it's Saturday 19th October 2024 and I haven't seen anything tragic since at least Friday 3rd October 2024 but my tummy hurts so you'll have to excuse me.
I guess I might be the phantom of the opera but as long as you keep your hand at the level of your eyes you have nothing to fear from E_f or R_f, and L_f already gave you Her covenant. Don't worry if you're happy with the beach you're on; I'm a bitch but I'm a lot of other things too, including a livestock guardian sheepdog with just enough of the wolf about her not to fear the shepherds or the reaper.
Thank you for the music. I'll see you when I see you, but I'm not going anywhere. I love you all, but we all could probably do with a bath-tism about once a year, where we need it or not, as my Granda Dicky used to say. I don't remember him very well but the best parts of him are already here in my dad, and we're both canon now and so is everyone else I already loved on 3rd October 2024, which I think was a Thursday but as I already told the Catholic Pope Francis, I might be wrong. 💚🩷💜
#il mundo gira con me questa notte#no hablo espanol but if you hum a few beers i can fake it#tadaima! gochisosama deshita#mea culpa mea maxima culpa#toki pona soweli#dúirt mé libh go raibh mé breoite#puhun aika hyvin suomea mutta en osaa mun jiji#je m'appelle Emer but you can call me Echo#Deutsch habe ich in der Schule gelernt und ich dachte#das ich mein Deutsch nie wieder benutzen würde#the safety word is orange you glad i didn't say bananas#i think i bought a zoo but it only has one God in it (and i'm not Muslim but i might be your Mahdi if...hmm this feels racist never mind)#I'm a thirsty minx and someone made a mess in the washing machine yesterday so i really hope my parents bring my cat shirt#because i don't have to go home but I'd rather not stay here past Tuesday 22.10.2024#good news everyone#i'm human and i have one brother and one sister and one mother and one father and a huge blended family#oscar not Oliver but it's Olive Oyl and Popeye's garden#yes i am popeye in this analogy and i don't even like spinach so can you imagine what it would be like if i hulked out#my sister is Amy Santiago#my brother is Bruce Way#i guess i'm diana of themyscera [sp] but i'm not gal gadot#i hope you all like the get-along sweater i made you out of thyme#but if you're a grain of sand on the beach that's still a good life#i already sorted the sheep from the goats from the third secret thing and now i just need my notes so i can explain to everyone how#emd & rnd 💚🩷💜🩵💙 amd#but i think in this lifetime i ship rmd with amc#luckily he was wrong about there only being one reality#there are between 5 and 9 depending on how much help people give me in cleaning up my mess#if i get to be first among equals we get the Best Place
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loumauve · 2 years ago
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Why do you like Ikrie? 😉😏
(sorry about the delay, smirky, winky anony-mouse)
..why do I like Ikrie. The question might as well be - what don't I like about Ikrie, or.. why do plants like sunlight. She's warm, her existence nourishes me, she comforts me.
I like her because she's Ikrie.
She takes her fears and doubts and shoves them deep into a glacier crack, together with her grief. She forsakes the ways of her people if they do more harm than good, she's not afraid to ask for help or offer it. She knows the value of shared burdens and past grievances laid to rest.
I don't know. I guess Ikrie (like Aloy and Beta, each in their own ways) represents parts of myself that I've done my best to nourish and grow, and some that I still struggle to come to terms with.
I like that she's her own person, that she knows what she wants and when to take some time to process before she proceeds. I want the best for her because she's been through a lot and she deserves love and rest and calm (and all the excitement and thrill she might want).
I don't know who you are, anony-mouse, but I think it would be easier to understand if you come hang out and ask more specific questions. I promise I don't bite and I'm always happy to chat about my fandom faves. I'd have done more of that lately but a big work project kinda ate up all of my time and energy, and I'm still recovering from that.
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guhhhhhhhhhhh · 1 year ago
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I am going to make it thru this week even if it kills me I am GOING TO MAKE IT THROUGH THIS WEEK REALLY IM going to make it through this week
#when Dean Martin said I can't remember a worse December' in that one Christmas song.... he really gets it#this entire month has had me in such a strong chokehold that it's fucking with my BODY like new grey hair serious hormonal acne#breakthrough bleeding (literally the same day that I told my doctor my new birth control was going great and I hadn't had any)#like#between political stressors. the ceiling inexplicably leaking in my bedroom. having to do all the middleman work between the maintenance man#and the people who live above me to get it fixed#and ordering three (3) things to be shipped to my apartment only for the USPS to decide that I don't actually live here??? and send ALLL OF#THE PACKAGES BACK TO WHERE THEY CAME FROM and having to communicated with 3 different customer service people each one with increasing diffi#difficulty to get the things shipped BACK to me only for one to arrive and be shipped BACK AGAIN !!!A-FUCKING-GAIN because they have the#AUDACITY to say that my unit is vacant?????? despite the fact they actually managed to get one if he other three things delivered to me#earlier in the same week and I left a handwritten note on the mailbox for my unit saying that I really do live there and pls stop fucking#with my mail you're driving me crazy mr mailman#and now having to upend my entire bedroom and put away. cover or hide all my stuff so it doesn't get covered in drywall dust while they fix#the water damage on my wall with no idea or conception of how long it will take for them to be done#AND#the stuff I used to treat the hormonal acne breakout on my chin has helped the cystic acne calm down but has ALSO severely fucked up my s#skin and so my chin is just really red and flaky and quite frankly ugly as fuck. just in time for the holidays when I do sort of want to#look cute for my familly and have some minute bit of self confidence but noooooo I can't have that#I feel horrible for whatever poor postal worker is going to have to hear about my mail issues because I used up all my paitience dealing#with the maintenance man and I really don't think I have much professionality and tact left in me#I understand that all these issues on their own are pretty minor but collectively they're really fucking wearing on me#I feel like im forgetting one#maybe it's when someone tried to switch the utilities for my apartment into their name not once but TWICE#but I feel like there was something else#oh wait yeah also my lil Christmas party with friends was supposed to happened but got cancelled bc one of my friends has Covid :))#and I DO work with her and I HAVE seen her all week and the way my luck is going I'll probably end up with Covid for christmss#aaaaaand my OTHER friends birthday celebration was supposed to be the next day but that got cancelled TOO because of The 'Vid#so all I did was stay in the house all weekend grind on Christmas gifts get high/drunk and watch movies#which.... not bad but I do miss my friends#and I'm sad that they're sick right before the holidays like that has to suck so much
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maukuja · 3 months ago
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oh. oh I got blocked by a mutual because of a misunderstanding with another blog. hm. well that sucks.
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29121996 · 6 months ago
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#august/ july (just winter in general i think) always serves as a check in point.#bc i get DepressedTM and feel spirally bc bithday n jus . august is Rough no matter what#werein JULY and im already suffering. its coming w hands this year#anyway off topic: i am not happy lol#like#idk how to explain it. but my job is not what id like to be doing. i like certain aspects of it. but its taking such a toll on me in so man#ways i just . i dont think this is for me. i am a nighttime person but not like this#so im gonna. see if i can jump ship to a restaurant / cocktail bar here#n if not. booking it to melbourne.#not an ideal trip . will be 48hrs of travel bc . i need breaks. but . fuck brisbane#n fuck sydney (expensive)#brisbanes alright but . i dont wanna live there? i only wanted to bc it was Close n Easy ig#but anyway. reread the sick messages exchanged 2wks ago n winced at my responses but also. no wonder#im replying like that ??? hes so fuckig irritating to talk to now. likw bruhh. anyway i was dealthy ill and dealing w that.#i did fucking WELL handling his loser ass actually.#the lack of reply after i explicitly and graphically called him out on his shitty behaviour towards me like#fuck you fr dawg. you rlly cant take accountability ?#god i wanna wring his neck#its funny that i dont even know if im allowed to . send him the paragraph brewing inmy notes#n the thing is#it wouldnt matter . im not sending i to get a response from him. but i have Thoughts and have to deal with him CONSTANTLY. SO i wanna.#yell at him a lil im ngl. and then just block him for good bc fuck you for good.#dipshit.
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ienjoywritingfilth · 6 months ago
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the wedding night
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hi: i wrote this in an afternoon on the bus and barely edited this. it only exists because seeing that photo of General Acacius made me feel hornee things®. I don't know shit about roman gladiator times, this is just a debauched excuse to be railed by the man.
trope: forced marriage
pedro character: Marcus Acacius x female reader (you)
warnings: innocence kink, age gap (not specified, but he an old peepaw just how we like him) , names like whore because i am one, forced marriage, Au as fuck because i have no idea what happens in the movie, virgin bullshit, eating out, pp in vv, dubconish, i think that's everything.
RATED 18+
"Take to the bed," the muscular man tells you in a raspy voice as you enter the bedroom, wishing you had your fur. "I leave early for battle at dawn." 
He makes no move to leave and so you glance from the waiting bed back over to the imposing figure standing by the fire. His tousled, greying curls are touched by the flickering reflection of the flames behind him. 
This is all new to you and almost surreal. You've been taken from your modest home and brought here to a lavish home in Rome. You glance over at your new husband timidly. 
"Are you to remain here all night?"
"We are wed," he replies with a wry grin. "Of course we shall spend the night together." 
You've been shipped here under your father's greedy love for coin. And now you stand here in the bed chambers of the man who became your husband only hours ago. 
General Marcus Acacius; a man double your age with the kind of quiet strength that made you anxious when you first laid eyes on him today, only moments before he slipped the ring onto your finger and you were announced as his. 
He drank only a bit of wine at the wedding, a stark contrast to the family of yours that acted like the animals in Marcus' stables with every glass poured. Of course they would celebrate; they'd made a small fortune on your marriage, having sold you off like cattle.
And you now stand across the room from him, your husband, General Acacius, Marcus. A man who served under the infamous Maximus. He cuts a fearsome figure both on and off the battlefield with his broad, muscled frame and serious countenance.  
You wear the traditional wedding night garment, a thin dress that is practically see-through. You pull your arms over your chest, hiding your nipples that poke through the thin fabric.
When you'd come to the room you'd been surprised to see Marcus there waiting for you, stoking the fire. You'd been told by the servants that your new husband would be preparing for battle all night. It had brought you some comfort.
But Marcus is here in nothing but his tunic cinched at the waist. His armour is in a pile by the door, his sword there as well. Without it he's still terrifying. 
Marcus notes the arms you hold over your chest for modesty and he feels arousal begin to drip lazily into his veins. 
"Undress," he says plainly, his dark eyes trailing over your body. 
You make no move to follow his orders. If anything you seem angry with him. His fingers twitch next to his thigh as he waits for your compliance. It doesn't come. 
The dark grey tunic he wears hangs just above his knees so when he walks over to you you're able to see his muscled legs rippling with power. You quiver as he finally stands in front of you. One thick forearm goes to rest against the wall above your head, his neck craning so he can look you in the face.  
"I said undress."
"You will not order me about as if I were your slave," you seethe, your head craning away from him. "I am your wife."  
"I am twice widowed," Marcus murmurs as his wide finger traces the curve of your delicate collarbone. "I have come to realize I have little need for a wife."
"Then why bring me here away from my family and my homeland? Why marry me at all if you have no need of me?"
"I have no need for a wife," Marcus repeats roughly, his exhalation landing over your face like a wine-soaked cloud. "But a man always has need for a ready cunt."
You rear back and your hand flies through the air so quickly he's clearly not expecting it. The slap you deliver to his bronzed cheek is so hard that he flinches back at the sensation, but his head remains facing you. 
"I am no whore," you hiss. You've never been spoken to like this. "Nor a hole for you to fill at your leisure." 
You're horrified when you see him lengthen under his tunic, thick and fearsome looking to your inexperienced eye. He smiles at you when you gaze back up at his face, a feral, ugly grin that has you backing against the stone wall as he advances, his pelvis nudging yours. 
"You will be fucked well," Marcus whispers. "So well you will happily call yourself my whore." 
You push at his broad chest, free of his usual armour and yet hard to the touch like iron. He doesn't budge, he just presses his pelvis into yours, pinning you to the wall. You feel him there between your legs, warm and waiting and large. 
His hand comes to grip your jaw, forcing your unwilling mouth to his. He kisses you fiercely, like he owns you. It disgusts you. He pries your lips open with his own and as he licks into your mouth his tongue tastes of sweet wine. 
You wince, trying to wrench from his grip. He only smiles, hands coming to meet at the collar of your nightdress.  You shriek as he begins tearing the delicate fabric down the middle and exposing your breasts to the chilled air. 
"I desire to see what is now mine," he murmurs, a hand coming to palm your breast. 
You bat his hand away, slipping sideways from him into the centre of the room near the bed. He doesn't look upset; he looks amused, as if he were playing a game. 
You hold the torn fabric of your dress at your chest, covering yourself as you back away from his advancing figure.  
"I am not your anything," you grimace. "Leave at once." 
Though your voice is strong you back away, a shuffled step for each strong stride of his until you feel the bed hit the back of your calves. 
"This is our wedding night," Marcus says silkily. "And we must consummate."
Before you can deny him he jabs his strong fingers on either side of your clavicle, causing you to fall backwards onto the bed. You gasp when he follows after you, lifting the hem of your dress. 
His head is thrust under, making you kick out your legs in fear. What is he doing under there? Fear has you convinced he may bite you. 
You go to pull away further when you feel him starting to part your thighs. You squeal anxiously, twisting. 
"Get off!"
"Calm yourself, wife," he orders gruffly from beneath your nightgown. He's stronger than you, his hands wide and it's only seconds before he's got your legs hinged over his shoulders. 
You continue to cry out, desperate for escape. You're terrified of this brute of a man. 
His mouth finds your cunt swollen and wet and when he lays his wide tongue flat and licks a stripe up the seam you suddenly go quiet. You can feel him smile against the lips of your pussy. 
"So soft," he murmurs, kissing your sex reverentially before his tongue darts out to sample you again. It's been so long since he had a cunt this soft and sweet against his tongue. 
Your hips jump and Marcus can't help but smirk. Under your nightgown all he can see and smell is your sex, open widely thanks to his hands, glistening with his saliva and your own arousal. He feasts on you, groaning as he gets swept away by the sensations your whimpers create in him. 
 You're on your back, looking up at the beautifully painted ceiling. A celestial pattern that mimics the night outside your window. Your chest heaves, nipples pert and straining as his mouth works against your cunt, making you tingle everywhere.
He's on his knees beside the bed, you're thighs hinged on his broad shoulders, the cream of your skin against his ears. He doesn't care that tomorrow his knees will ache because devouring you as you thrash for him on the bed has him feeling like a young man again. 
He sucks the lips of your pussy into his mouth with relish, his hips grinding into the edge of the bed when you cry out. You hear him chuckle before he continues and the sound reminds you that you don't want him touching you like this and bringing out these feelings you've only heard whispers about. Not a man who has decided you're nothing more than a thing to fill. 
"Ssstop," you slur above him, unable to focus as your vision blurs.  
"No."
You keen breathily, your hands scrabbling to grip the bed. His broad hands cup your ass, forcing your sex harshly against his mouth. You hear vulgar slurping noises coming from underneath your nightgown and your eyes roll back. 
You've never had a man before. Your mother warned you about husbands and their selfish desires in the bedroom. But this doesn't feel like what she warned you about. This feels good. 
You feel a pressure beginning between your legs and you panic, trying to force Marcus' head from between your thighs but he just grips stronger, tilting his head from side to side as he drinks you down, his tongue wide and stuffing your cunt. 
When be begins to suck brutally at your clit, bliss overtakes you, causing your back to arch and a shuddering scream to leave your throat. 
Your hips undulate as he continues to fuck you with his tongue, stopping only when you begin to whine that it is too much. He licks you gently after that, cleaning the evidence of your orgasm with relish. 
With a creak he stands beside the bed and removes his tunic. In a daze you lay on your elbows, gazing up at his broad, muscular body knowing that if he wanted to he could snap you like a twig. His cock rests heavily between his legs, just as thick and long as you thought. Despite the pleasure he brought you there's still that glint in his dark eyes, a mockery that you can't stand.
"Get away from me."
Your cunt pulses, drooling with your previous release. You try to curl into a ball, facing away from him. 
You think he may leave you be but you feel his hand grip your waist. You thrash as he rips the rest of the nightdress off your body before forcing you onto your hands and knees. 
"It is now my turn to take, wife. Ready yourself." 
He pushes you down onto your belly, curving your ass up to the sky. Then he crawls over you, his hands pinning yours to the bed under his.  You feel him there at your entrance and you feel terrified tears stream over your cheeks. 
"No need for fearful tears," he assures you as his mouth meets your neck. "You will be crying for more of my cock soon enough."
You cry out as he pushes the head of his length between your dripping folds. He's much too big, the intrusion too great. 
"I will make this quick," he grunts. "For your benefit."
Marcus can hardly believe how good the velvet clench of your cunt feels sliding along his cock as he pushes through your virginal barrier. Not since his first wife has he come close to anything this divine.
His teeth come to grip at your shoulder, biting there, marking you as he feeds his cock into your pussy from behind. 
Your cries are muted, your pain ignored, because all Marcus can feel is bliss. Bliss as he marks you forever as his. Bliss as his thick cock stretches your walls, bliss as your pussy stings straining to take him all. 
And by the time he's buried with his hips against your ass, your shoulder is bruised with the indents of his teeth. 
"No more," you beg as he begins to move within you. "Let it be done." 
"We have only started," he muses, kissing your damp cheek. "The best is yet to come."
His frame is so broad it covers you entirely, like you're wearing him as a robe draped over your curved body. He rocks into you as his massive hands press yours into the bed.  
You feel him pull slightly out before buying himself within your womb. You cry out, head falling forward as the slick feel of his cock buries itself deeper and deeper with every subsequent thrust. With every pump he moves the both of you forward before pulling you back. 
And just when the pain is too great, you feel it morph into pleasure. The feel of him thrusting in and out going from sharp to a pleasurable throb. 
Marcus senses the change in you when your back starts to arch and your hips start to lean back to meet his. You're enjoying it now, just as he knew you would. 
"You like this."
He grins to himself when you don't answer and instead let your head hang between your shoulders. 
He continues to tease you, never letting up, waiting until your noises become breathless and needy and then he recedes, chuckling when you whimper his name. 
What feels like eternity later the two of you are slick with sweat, your limbs shaking as Marcus watches you from above. His hands are on your hips now, pulling you against him. 
He spreads your cheeks wide, groaning when he watches his thick cock filling your tight pussy to the brim. 
You're begging for him to give you the same pleasure as before, nearly sobbing with how cock-drunk you are. He feels so good buried between your thighs. 
Marcus only smirks down at you, a hand pressed on your lower back, urging your ass up higher for him. He thinks about all the things he's going to do with you before leaving for battle. 
The thought is exciting him, sending him erratically pumping as he tilts you back, hand coming to strum your clit as your spine kisses his front. He holds you on his thighs, spread wide and bouncing.  
"What are you?" He pants, his lips squished against your cheek, his fingers curling, making you see stars. 
"You're. . . You're wife," you manage to croak out, your hands gripping his forearm slung over your chest. 
He fucks harder into you, his cock hitting the spot your own fingers can never manage. It's causing more stars behind your eyes, your body limp in his grip like a doll. 
"What are you?" Marcus demands again, only now he punctuates his question with a firm slap to your cunt.  
You ache where he slapped, but a pleasurable one that sends you closer and closer to falling off the edge of bliss once more. Only this feels so much bigger, so much more intense than when his mouth was on you. 
"Say it." 
You writhe on his cock, held by one arm around your middle, the other fucking you with his thick fingers over your clit and his thicker cock splitting you with every upward thrust. 
"Please, Marcus."
Marcus is so sweaty, his muscles gleaming in the low firelight. He moans lowly, the sound making your toes curl. Then his warm breath is hot on the side of your face. 
"Say it and I will give you all that you desire." 
You're so close, that pleasure ebbing and coming back stronger with every swipe and thrust. You try to sound it out, but the shame overtakes you again.
"I am you. . . I am your. . ."
Marcus is groaning into your ear again, his thighs twitching as your arousal soaks down his length. But he doesn't stop filling you over and over, his eyes closing as he revels in the pleasure of your milking cunt. 
"Say it." 
And now he presses the heel of his palm against your sex, holding you by the throat under your chin as your head snaps back onto his shoulder. Exposed like an animal Marcus stakes his claim, latching his mouth onto your neck and sucking. 
"I am . . . I am. . ." 
His thrusting continues and now he forces you back onto your hands and knees, draping his body over yours, fingers and cock never stopping, only drilling you from a new angle. He watches your sweet ass ripple for him as he pounds into your cunt, marvelling at how puffy and shiny and perfect she is. 
"Say it," he booms and you can feel his thrusting growing staggered, his body fucking into you with all that he has.
And you can't hold the words back any longer, not when it feels like your very ecstasy hinges on them being said out loud. It tears from you, ripped from your very vocal chords as he sinks into you, your voice shrill and cracked as you scream it.
"I am your whore!" 
The answering groan of Marcus in your ear makes you cry out loudly, coating his stroking fingers with hot arousal as you cum. 
“My whore,” he hisses as you buck against him.
You shake the entire time, confused at how everything in you burst like a ripe berry on the vine and yet you remain outwardly unchanged. Surely you very soul must have left you at that pinnacle of pleasure. You've never felt anything like it. 
And yet here you remain, in his arms in his bed, human and alive. You both pant heavily, the room smelling of sex and sweat and the oils in your hair. 
Marcus tugs you against him and you roll towards his body, pliant and willing. His mouth finds yours but it's soft and delicate. Your hands run through his soft, greying curls. 
"Are you satisfied?" 
You ask it quietly, almost afraid to know his true thoughts. He's experienced in so many ways, twice your age, strong and capable. And yet the kiss he gives you is gentle. It curves as he smiles against your waiting mouth. 
"I am, wife." 
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