#not you fuckers

[braindeadbuthere]

I am in this picture and i don't fudging like it

[sadclowncentral]

cannot stop thinking about the french man who during dinner responded to a person asking "should we be naughty and get desert" by pulling a face and going "naughty? it is chocolate, it is not an, uh, threesome"

[tuttle-did-it]

David Tennant for Prime Minister, please.

edit- Since this is getting so much attention, edited to include descriptions of screenshots.

This woman has lost her fucking mind.

Jo, are you okay?

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?

“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”

And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.

[ozzgin]

Yandere! House Monster x Reader

Listen, I woke up in cold sweat at 4am with a vision: you and your stereotypically unavailable gamer boyfriend have moved into a new house. You find out very soon it's not as empty as you had assumed, but your worries fall on deaf ears. The tentacle monster lurking in dark corners just wants to make sure you're not lonely.

[Second Part]

Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance (mildly NSFW)

You didn't notice anything strange at first. Maybe it was considering its prey. You'd found a cheap, old house available for rent, and your boyfriend couldn't refuse the extra space for his mancave.

Oh, you poor thing. It watched your lonely evenings, your empty bed at night, your futile attempts to spend more time with your beloved partner. It had originally planned to devour your souls and await the next foolish mortals to enter its realm, but seeing your pitiful state prompted a change of heart. Metaphorical heart, of course.

It started gradually: testing the waters, or what you'd call a courting attempt. Doors opening by themselves, disembodied eyes lovingly gazing at you from the nearby walls. Dark tendrils making their way out of the shadows, just to announce its presence.

"I think this place might be cursed", you told your boyfriend one evening. "I've been stalked by amorphous silhouettes of blight and terror, and they whisper ancient blasphemies to me at night." He let out a worried shout and slapped the desk. "That's cool, babe. I'm kind of losing right now, though, so perhaps give me a minute?"

One night you were awakened from your slumber by a warm touch sliding across your body. You smiled into your pillow as the cheeky hands made their way down, fondling your curves and hungrily searching for your sensitive areas. You let out a soft moan, enjoying the moment, until you heard your boyfriend yell from the other room. Your eyes shot open.

The hands lewdly groping your privates were, in fact, tentacles. Your first reaction was to gasp, but you were quickly silenced by another slippery appendage pressing against your lips. Shh, shh. Allow the creature to do its thing, dear. Surely enough, within minutes you were a drooling mess, holding onto the sheets for dear life.

"You've been in a good mood lately", you boyfriend remarks, idly scrolling on his phone and crunching on his breakfast cereal. You ponder if you should tell him you've been fucked relentlessly by a monstrous creature inhabiting your new home. You glance at the counter and smirk, remembering how you just had to wipe your wet mess from it a few hours ago. "Keep it that way, hun, I could get used to not being pestered every hour", the man jokes with a laugh.

Does it count as cheating if your affair partner isn't really human? Although, you have to wonder if you're still dating to begin with. From the corner of your eye, you can discern faint movement above the young man, a shadow looming menacingly. The eldritch monster would not hesitate to tear your poor boyfriend apart if he tried to mess with its belonging.

[davinawritings]

Werewolf roommate with super sensitive hearing.

He doesn’t mean to be a perv but he can’t keep himself from stroking his cock when he hears you masturbating late at night. Your moans and soft whines just get him so hard.

He always tries to match his pace to yours, especially loving when you take your time and edge yourself. His knot throbbing with need but being denied.

He always swears it’s the last time he will do this but once he hears you again he’s straight back to jerking himself off.

He manages to keep himself under control until one night he hears you moan out his name. A fierce possessiveness takes over and within seconds he is swinging your door open.

You don’t even have time to get over your shock before his long and think tongue is buried in your pussy.

He spends hours fucking you in every possible way, laying claim to your body.

As you both drift off to sleep he decide that while he loves you moans and soft whines, nothing compares to the sound of you screaming out his name in ecstasy.

[horny-rose]

Nsfw. Monster fucker mood again :)

Never come close to a demon in heat. Especially an Incubus. Just the smell of his sweat and hormones, the pure feral lust in the air is palpable. His dick struggles to remain in sizes that could be easily taken by a mortal, (by you). He’s shamelessly rutting up and against anything that has your scent on it. Your furniture, your bed, your clothes, which are all torn to shreds now as he fucks and fucks and fucks, eventually just rutting his monstrous cock into some fabric scraps in his hand, lube and precum flowing to the floor as his feral pants, trying to find the release he seeks.

He can’t control his body now, it stretches to the ceiling, his horns scratching holes in the tiles, his body so overgrown, the four arms barely able to grab his cock before it splits into two equally thick 18” long poles, filled and overflowing with his seed. His tail lashes around, trying to find anything that will ease his suffering. Anything that reminds him of your tight holes, your sinfully sweet voice, your adorably lewd behaviours. He needs you, but in his feral animalistic state, you both know that he'd ruin you far worse than anything before. And so he ruts, and ruts alone. He gets creative using his own insanely long tongue, wrapping around his cocks like a snake. And with one demonic groan he cums, rope after rope of thick, sticky seed. All wasted in his mind. Whimpering your name like a broken prayer. But it’s okay, he's not done. He still needs you, to fuck

[monstersholygrail]

Little Hatchlings

Dragon x fem!human - breeding, pregnancy discussions, cream pie, cockwarming, multiple orgasms.

Dragon husband who has no idea how humans have children like you assumed he did. You thought he had given how often he talked about spilling himself inside of you, how he needed to keep his cock inside you so as to not waste a drop.

But reality comes crashing down as your husband plows into your sloppy and spent cunt while lost in the throes of passion.

Dragon husband angles your hips with his clawed hands, making him reach that much deeper in your walls. You cry out, arms wrapping around his neck to bring him down to your height.

Your body starts to shake as you feel his scales brush against you with every thrust, coming closer to your peak. Breath hot as the fire that leaves his lips rumbles dangerously in your ear.

“Yes, that’s it. Take it. Take my cum and lay my eggs, sweet mate,” he hisses with a ferocious need. “Now be a good girl and paint my cock with your essence.”

As if your body was waiting for his order, you immediately start coming, your pleasure only heightening as you feel his release shoot deep inside your pussy.

It’s only when your Dragon husband wraps his arms around you tightly, molding your form to his, with his deep purrs echoing in your shared den do you realize what he had said.

"Wait— what?" You ask, mind whirling as you come down from your orgasmic high. A rumble moves through your husband’s chest as he nuzzles into your neck.

"Our hatchlings, my mate. I imagine you'll lay them soon after my seed takes root," he explains lowly, hand slowly caressing the curve of your stomach.

"Humans don't lay eggs, darling," you break the news to him before you automatically feel him tense. He looks down at you, worry etched into every line of his beautiful scales.

"Well then-"

"We get pregnant. Our bodies grow as our child does inside of us," you add, resting your hand on top of his on your tummy. Arousal pooling at the base of his member at the idea of him breeding you.

"So your body will begin to grow in size once I have successfully injected you with my seed?" Dragon husband asks slowly, scrambling to understand this change. Yet you can feel his cock hardening inside of you, the ridges on his length already brushing along your walls in a way that has you gasping.

"Yes," you breathe out, so heavily turned on by your husband. Your hands reach up to grasp onto his shoulders, knowing that images are pumping into his head as fast as he's about to be pumping inside your still sopping cunt.

"I shall keep a wary eye out. But until then..." His eyes flicker across your exposed body, his now rock hard cock moving as his hips regain their steady thrusts.

Showing he is more than ready to fuck into you, spilling load after load of hot semen deep inside your core. Not willing to let you rest until he sees your belly swell with proof of your unborn child.

[saveskum]

The lovely shapes and colors of our companion's eyes.

[slightly-knot-insane]

Defeated Monster

tw noncon

There is nothing more empowering than riding your enemy's cock while he spits and curses you. But he is hard. For you. For your body. You can see it in his blood-shot eyes. He is tied down, beaten by you, completely covered in cuts and bruises. The big bad monster defeated.

"Accept I'm your mistress now. You are mine to do whatever I wish with. My slave."

You bite his swollen nipple one more time while bouncing up and down against his shaft. He is sweating, furiously trying to break his bonds. You laugh. All his efforts are futile - you made these chains just for him. They fit him perfectly just like his dick fills your hole completely, stretching you just right.

He is trying to suppress his moans. But his desire is throbbing inside your pussy, betraying him. You rock your hips back and forth, moaning in pleasure, gloating in your victory. He hates your guts but can't mask how much he enjoys being fucked by you.

Just before you are washed over by your orgasm, you stand up, sliding off his erection, and squirt all over him, shaking from pleasure. He snarls and tense, chains dangerously vibrating from his strength. You moan in ecstasy, rubbing your wet cunt, and his exposed cock twitches before spurting his hot seed all over your thighs that arched above it.

"Aaaaah fuck! Fuck!" He is furious, humiliated beyond words. His own body failed him.

You laugh, licking your own arousal from your fingers while his cum tickles your skin. "Don't worry - you'll get used to this, my pet."

[bunnis-monsters]

NSFW

warning: slight Yandere behavior, breeding

Hare!hybrid bf with bunny!hybrid gf

You, a cute bunny hybrid with soft, fluffy bunny ears and a cute cotton tail that wags when you’re happy or upset. You’re round and soft, the sweetest little thing your boyfriend has ever seen.

And then there’s your hare hybrid bf… he’s tall, thin, and unsettling, with eyes that bore into you and hair that is far from soft. He’s protective and possessive of his little bunny baby, keeping you safe and literally fighting any of his rivals to the DEATH.

He’s a bit nervous about breeding with you. You’re smaller, more fragile than him… but god you both go crazy once you go into heat… and you’re a lot more durable than he thought.

You take his cock so well, begging for him to give you a litter… his perfect little mate, his sweet bunny. No one will ever put their hands on you, unless they want to die a painful death.

——————

YANDERE TAGLIST: @katerinaval @sunset-214 @avalordream @atransmuter @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa

[whorrorfix]

if i survived a slasher it’s because i fucked him

[eclipseshotel]

[wuntrum]

what if a femme robot liked it when her butch creator performed routine maintenance tasks on her (in a sexual way) (and they were both girls)? i guess you'll have to read my new (free) comic to find out!!

[cosmicstarlatte]

Me: yeah we're tying the knot next week

Werewolf fiance who's never heard that phrase: we're going to what

[ozzgin]

Yandere! House Monster x Reader (II)

It’s officially a smutty sitcom: you, the oblivious gamer boyfriend, and the tentacle monster lurking in dark corners.

[First part]

Content: gender neutral reader, monster smut

Do monsters have a sense of humor? This creature seems to be greatly amused by the little "game" you've devised behind your boyfriend's back. Although you don't have much input in the affair, and most of the time you're merely a witness to the events unfolding before you (or in you).

First, there's the mild, inoffensive annoyances. "Babe, did you see my controller? I swear I left it on the couch". Some pranks are harder to swallow than others, such as the occasional lack of Internet. You know exactly when it happens, because you can hear your boyfriend's enraged shouts and rattles. It's always during important matches. No one knows why it happens. The repairmen who cross your threshold can only scratch their heads in confusion, confessing that nothing is out of the ordinary.

Then, the unfortunate coincidences. "How about we have some fun after my game?", the boyfriend will suggest with an anticipative grin. Alas, moments after he stands up, he is overwhelmed by a nauseous feeling. His stomach twirls and throbs, and he curses under his breath. "Some other time, perhaps", he concludes begrudgingly. You see, the creature is very possessive. The only thing that has saved your beloved partner from being torn to shreds already is his crassly comical obliviousness.

The mischief aimed towards the boyfriend is, however, a secondary source of entertainment. Nothing could ever come close to spending time with you. Yet another irony to this ridiculous situation: you haven't been caught yet, despite the rabid clinginess of the tentacled monster.

It just loves surprising you. For example, when you exhale dramatically at the end of the day, relaxing in the bathtub and enjoying your peace. Just as you hear an impatient knock on the door, you notice a familiar dark tendril slithering its way out of the water. You won't be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. "Did you steam yourself over there? You look like a lobster", the boyfriend will remark with a raised eyebrow upon seeing your panting, feverish face. "Y-yeah, I guess so." You limp outside, struggling to hold the towel around your body. Or more specifically, around the many marks left on your skin by hundreds of suckers.

In fact, its shamelessness reminds you of a poorly written erotic scenario, the likes you'd see on some adult website with a clickbait title. How would you name this current setup? You grip the edge of the table, pursing your lips to prevent any moans escaping your mouth. Your boyfriend is, once again, scrolling on his phone, indifferent to your presence. The water boiling on the stove drowns the wet, slippery sounds of the appendages pumping in and out of you underneath the table. “You might want to give it a stir in a moment, or it’ll overflow”, the boyfriend remarks without lifting his gaze. You mumble in agreement, slapping a hand over your mouth. You’re at your limit.

One may be tempted to ask, is this entity bound to its house? You pondered the same question until your recent IKEA visit. You and your boyfriend had been looking for a new wardrobe. "What do you think of this one?", you asked, closing the door and turning around. Your eyes scanned the empty model-bedroom. The jackass had wandered ahead without you. You sighed and were about to go find him, when a cold grip suddenly tightened around your wrist. You winced and snapped your head back. Thick tendrils had made their way out of the closet, tugging you to join them inside. So it can follow you around, you thought, climbing into the cramped space. Between the silent whines and breathy begging, an idea emerges from your dazed mind. New hypothetical video title: mercilessly molested in the IKEA store by monster partner.